#like just today was punch after punch
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this week is fucking awful i cant fucking doi t im eijnsdkf svhjfuiwhejndsm TT
#shut up mars#like just today was punch after punch#have my io tomorrow#tuesday is fine ig i might even be allowed to stay home#but then i have to work quickly on my film project and review for psych#ok it doesnt sound that bad you know. ill probably be fine after my io im jsutsbdgjgfn#CAN EVERYTHING PLEASE STOP GOING BADLY IN MY STIPID BAKA LIFE....
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How come this motherfucker just starts naming foods when you knock him down? Has he had breakfast today? Lunch? Who's feeding him? Where would he like to go to dinner? Could I come with?
#punch out#piston honda#piston hondo#tbh this post wasnt even gonna be Like That when i first thought of it but tbh hes been growing on me#i think it started happening after i made the sexiest punch out boxer poll#yall were right to give him the gold metal he DESERVES it#but yeah no at first it was just gonna be about the food thing cause like#this man will not shut up about food#like the entire time#i cant tell if he hasnt eaten today or is just a huge foodie or both
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ohhh god I think my brain’s broken or somethin cos at the sight of all the goddamn 9hr shift Saturdays and 4.5hr shift Sundays in my near future I legit bawled. Like I don’t DO that ok that is WEIRD for me. I miss having weekends. I should be BEING A TEENAGER ON SATURDAYS not standing in a small space for NINE HOURS
I genuinely think this is gonna be what makes me lose it
#the worst part of it all is that it’s literally been two days. like that is pathetic whhhy can’t I just tough it the fuck out oh my godddd#it ain’t even HARD work I just feel like a caged tiger#and so damn borrred#my boss is real nice tho and quitting would seriously be a dick move#like she bought me a soda…:(#I wish I had a good reason to hate it other than the fact that it’s on weekends and is time consuming#but I don’t#I worked at the stable all summer and I didn’t hate that at all. It was gross and dirty#and I was so sweaty and all my clothes smelled like horse for weeks after and fuck man I didn’t even get paid minimum wage#but I liked it. It was real fun (even when I got zapped by the electric fence!)#but I’m in retail now#and after the first day last week I went home and punched a wall hard enough to get a giant bruise#and after today-the second day-I cried like 5x harder than I did last time I freaked out. Fuck man I prayed even and im not even religious#I think somehow my brain registers boredom as a bigger threat than actual danger holy hell#…jesus I /like/ the job w/ the electric fence but lose it at the cushy one with free soda -_-#yeah no my brain’s definitely not wired right I don’t think#ugh#rambling#personal stuff#whining#delete later#oh yeah and I was right I didn’t work out tonight cos I was miserable.#I mean I jogged a tiny bit but my biceps man…what abt my biceps…:((
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Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie
#xmen#logan movie#snap chats#i be ramblin today hello ...#it was a pleasant jumpscare. yk until he died. after realizing he committed atrocities by accident 😭😭💀 OLD MAN NOOO#but no please LIKE I READ THE DESCRIPTION WHEN GOING TO WATCH RIGHT#AND I WAS JUST THINKING 'oh he'll probably be here for like twenty minutes. wdym he's here for way longer than that'#i THINK years ago i REMEMBER seeing a screenshot of the hotel bit with laura and charles but again that was years ago#and i might be tricking myself maybe its a false memory jealvvelka either way i just know they were cute :(#point is he was here for. i cant even say So Little cause again He Was Here For An Hour And Thirty Minutes Out Of Two Hours#and lets be clear 'snap has your brain molded that much you know exactly how much screen time charles gets in the movies'#girl no not yet i only know exactly when he punches his clock cause i had to keep restarting the movie cause it kept pausing vjAELKAJE#and it just so happened to struggle literally like. ten minutes after he dies- like when logan was dealing with x24 THAT part#so rude for that.. anyway I Repeat i miss charles and laura bein cute :(#it wasnt a lot but it was just sweet.. i always like how charles always got that Professor in his soul with these movies#like in dofp when logan's losing it after. getting future ptsd jvALKVLAJ??K charles is there to ground him#despite being. Like That vjeaLKj like sir please ily. i will accept the Youre On Acid answer youre trying your best#and then with THIS movie evidently charles is having. the worst time upstairs#but he's still super sweet with laura like oh stop you grandpa im gonna throw up#and to STRESS. they were EVIL about that wholesome dinner bit like :((( oh to see the fam happy and safe again :(((#like im throwing up frankly. people were right this movie IS sad i underestimated their assessment 😭#to lighten the mood in my heart. charles really do be an old man in this movie hes such a menace to logan JELKAK#god. Most Normal X-Men Movie Watcher Focuses On Professor X During The Movie About Logan VEJLKJA#ok im done. sorry i just keep replayin that bit in my head where theyre in the car and logans just 'Did You Take Your Meds SHOW'#like pelase. jaeRLKEaj ok im gonna try drawing i looked at my wall long enough and i think i can draw something
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when will someone pick izzy up bridal style and spin him around? hm?
#it Would upset his tummy but i think he deserves a little holding. as a treat#to be cradled. and spun around with joy#(honestly to me i see this only working as bellhands i dont think izzy would let anyone else get away with it- maybe ed but. thin thin ice-#and i see izzy being too stressed about eds knee to get to unbridled laughter. so sam . hes just appeared; for the first time in a long#time. he sees izzy [they have a little reunion (depending on ~circumstances~ that could just be yelling affectionately at each other like#hey i haven't seen u in a year- or if its after faking his death i see sam getting punched. just a little) they get to kiss a bit etc etc]#then sam just. sweeps him up in his arms. izzy yells in shock and demands sam puts him down but sam just. holds him tighter and#spins him around in pure joy. and izzy laughs#(this; more than anything shocks the crew. they thought the rest of it was shocking- sam bellamy likes izzy???? theyre married???#people think positively about this man they all hate???? wtf wtf. izzy punched sam and got away with it?? the prince of pirates?????#but then izzy is laughing. and theyre astounded. they didn't think he was capable of that. maybe they never knew him at all)#djjdhdhdj ive been. thinking about this. A LOT. today so here#have a ramble about izzy (again)#if izzy not for cradling like lover; why small?#nyxtalks#ofmd#israel hands#izzy hands#bellhands#sam bellamy#i think i went off enough in the tags to quantify those fjdjnd
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#not using my big girl brain OR the tags im just turning the thots over like a boiled sweet on a cold winter day but#there is something to be said for the parallels between carla and liam / carla and lisa#more to the point specifically for today’s thoughts: carla telling lisa that she loves her and lisa not saying it back#even if it’s so obvious to we the viewers (and ofc with vicky’s confirmation) that she feels the same but is obviously struggling with it#rewatching those old scenes really put carla and liam into perspective as a thirty year old and not a thirteen-fourteen year old#but that she opens herself to him so completely and so immediately and even though he shows hesitation she doesn’t let it stop her#she tells him don’t worry you’ll get there because i know we’re meant to be i know this is right i know and i trust in us and in you#and then he goes back to maria#and now present day carla confessing her Big Feelings and lisa hesitates#and it’s like it’s happening all over again#she likes lisa more than lisa likes her#and she’s been here before and she knows what it means#and best case scenario it takes lisa another several months to come to terms with her feelings and now she’s just been told that she might#not have that long to wait#she needs in she needs security she needs immediacy she needs anything but hesitation#god though ESPECIALLY after liam was the one who carla brought up when discussing lost love with lisa and not peter#not paul#(haha bird joke)#idk it’s in my head like worms#rewatching those old liarla scenes last night was like a punch to the gut i forgot they went through all of what they did#and now again…… UGGGHH#anyway#not to say i’m concerned because i truly believe they’ll work this out the way they’ve worked everything out so far:#thoroughly and together#and i cannot waaaaait to watch#that’s it that’s my lunch hour thought of the day#coronation street spoilers
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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personal tag rant.
#god i.... i really do not like my mother#Just like... As a person.#I hate her#The more time i spend with her the less happy I am#Today? We were decorating our christmas tree. Me and my brother. Mother watched.#Then there was a loud thud as dad dropped something somewhere in the house#And my brother jokingly said ''did he fall down the stairs???'' to which my mother replied quietly but audibly ''god finally''#And i wanted to punch her so fucking bad sooo fucking bad oh my GOD i wanted to do it so bad#She said that in front of my brother?? Who is 13??? Are you insane?#She didn't even say it in like a joking way. in a fully serious ''god i wish...'' way.#Plus 5 minutes earlier her and dad had an argument about the christmas lights#(she kept nagging him to change it. talked about it being all wrong after he changed it like 5 times. -#- So he told her to do it herself and left the room)#which like whatever. he's in the right anyway. i don't blame him for leaving the room i would've left the room too if my brother wasnt ther#but seriously what the FUCK does she think she will accomplish with this#i don't even care about me. Im fine. they'd almost gotten one divorce already i've dealt with it. but in front of my brother?#my little brother?#fuck you.#Very sincirely fuck you.
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hey hey hey my brain is kinda spinning out on the whole "focusing" thing so I think I might draw some more things, if anyone has suggestions of things to draw? I might also consider making like mini plushie versions of people's OCs or fursonas or something. Or assemble a puzzle? Probably not that one I don't think I can sit still that long right now But like seriously if you have drawing/painting suggestions or would enjoy seeing a simplified version of your OC/fursona/other character of yours idk the catch-all term I will gladly take suggestions. Currently my to-draw list is just "a leaf of some kind". I make no guarantees I will make art of the specific thing you suggest but depending on the number of suggestions there's a pretty decent chance
#the person behind the yarn#I think this is probably related to how happy I was to have family visiting last weekend#and like today being the five days after moment where I realized if I am not sick now#I am probably not going to get sick from their visit#which is great! but also I am crashing a little!#it'll even out in time and in the mean time I will just make some weird art I think#maybe I'll look up rug braiding and start a second unrelated rug#maybe I'll go hit the punching bag for a bit#...probably not that one I have like two weeks until my iron infusion and should probably not do a bruise-heavy activity#until I have the right amount of blood again. would probably help#I went back and added the last paragraph to this post#and I think I want to make beanie babies#I think that's the enrichment my enclosure is lacking
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i am trying quite desperately to finish chapter 6 before it reaches 6k but i am. i am losing gang
#sophie speaks#fighting in the trenches#im getting stuff done today and i got some done yesterday#but my mind still feels so fibro fogged out#but shes so close to done#theres like... 2 and a half bits that need doing and i think the first part is fine#its only really the second part thats gonna cause me any trouble#because i am writing for the worst character on earth (George)#you guys are geniunely going to hate him after this#hes the lowest ranking villain of low ranking villains but he's also my least favourite type of person#which is those who punch down#like yes the joker did murder readers entire extended family but George is like. just a piece of shit
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it's been a bad day_daniel powter.mp3 if im being honest
#i had a headache the entire time i was sleeping last night then my cat woke me up by puking first thing this morning#then i dropped something and when i stood back up i managed to punch myself directly in a zit i have on my chin which is insane and hurt#so bad then 45 seconds after that i was getting dressed and my tank top strap hit me in the eye so then i couldnt open my eye#for like 20 minutes like just the stupidest annoying shit is happening today and it's only 11am lmaoooo
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Successfully got poisened tonight and it was delightful. Will watch the cutscene again when I start up the game next.
#dishonored#of course the first person does rob us of some things#like watching corvo suffer#but i will live that's what the cool fanart is for#might also try and write a dabble about him sobbing over Jessamine's audiograph#cause i mean#man#what a gut punch#also him running away after hearing Burrow's say she had to die#this is just the worst mission for him and i am delighted#got kinda stuck on hadria today unfortunately#but maybe later
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..
#has anyone here ever had to cut contact with a parent?#i'm planning on doing that in a few weeks and i'm just. confused about it and how it works with other family members yk#like ok today my mom almost punched my brother because he rolled his eyes at her#and so much other bs has gone down recently to the point where i cant function in my daily life so much#even though i live 2500 miles away in a different country and time zone#oh she also told me that every time i tell her that i'm upset with her it brings her closer and closer to suicide#like..... it needs to happen but#what happens after is what i dont know how to anticipate#so if anyone has done this i'd love to hear how things changed for you#also now i'm afraid that doing this will make her kill herself uuuuuuhhhhh yeah. peace n love.
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I'm just so tired
#and. I only saw my partner for an hour today.#I get up late so that part isn't his fault... but he had *all day* on his own and still decided he wanted to go back to playing video games#after we watched one episode of leverage together#we bought a board game like... almost a month ago now. and every weekend I say hey it'd be nice if we maybe tried out that game (that he#said was interesting too!)#but nope it just doesn't happen. he sits at his computer all weekend and every weekday evening.#I'm just tired man. I'm so tired#I don't want to try anymore#it shouldn't feel this hard#personal#(haha straight people can't communicate with their partners wow straight women are so stupid blah blah blah. I'm gonna punch someone)#(not straight not a woman and fucking hell how is it the other partner's fault if one of them just won't fucking LISTEN. or TALK actually.#like fuck off with that shit man)
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AND TODAY’S WINNER OF “WHO CAN POST THE MOST GUT-WRENCHING, ANGST-FILLED ART” IT’S THE TMNT FANDOM!
#thimbell is saying dumb stuff again#today has been gut punch after gut punch#and honestly? keep them coming#im enjoying reading and seeing all of it#i really do like this fandom so many cool artists and writers and everyone is so nice#dont mind me im just being silly
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DID YOU MISS THE EXAM... Either way I can believe in that superstition for a sec I'm so sorry 😭😭😭
NONO I TOOK IT. BARELY. I BARELY TOOK IT. I JUST THOUGHT CLASS WAS GOING TO BE NORMAL BUT NOPE <3<3<3
#snap chats#ngl cried a lil in classs... mightve scribbled a bit on the page.. which has happened before when taking spanish tests LMAO#the rage and anger i felt... oh to punch a wall like i literally just wanted to leave and scream#and i havent felt that kind of anger in a hot minute it was so ugly LMAOOOO so stupid nothing even majorly bad happened#it just the build up ig.... anyways...#I THOUGHT IT WAS WEDNESDAY CAUS EI HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT TOMORROW#AND ASSIGNMENTS ARE USUALLY DUE THE DAY BEFORE THE EXAM BUT. OK. FUCK ME IG#when i finally stopped being a big ol baby i focused on the questions and they weren't actually too hard so im p sure i did fine#it was just... The Emotional Damage of walking in thinking it was gonna be a chill day after Everythin and its like :) No Exams Today :)#the funnier bit is that i literally asked my professor and then she forgot to give me the exam so i had to ask her for it 🧍♂️#right after asking about the exam 🧍♂️like i know im unremarkable but you JUST spoke to me....#my reputation of being the most invisible man continues..... an ironic title to have but ill take it....#call my ass kellam the way i have to remind people im here <3 fe homies will know what that means and they'll know im right </3#anyway to end the horrible night. Hopefully. i was gonna get milk from the milk dispenser Because We Have Those#and the milk i usually get was empty so i got the second one and the spout was tilted weirdly so the milk just went backwards#so that was fun. to get. and then a guy tried getting chocolate milk after me and Something happened cause he just yelled the f slur LOL#what a day... it's no one's day today apparently.....#anyway Lesson Learned don't fuck with three's. i don't like the number three it always gives me bad vibes...#did i disclose my Unhealthy relationship with numbres.. i prob did lol.. ima wrap this post up now...
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