#like its not that im choosing not to
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can someone help my undiagnosed ass figure out why its somehow impossible for me to do tasks that are ultimately not difficult, but ive just built up a mental block against being able to do it. it feels like the dread of the task needing to be done (and the outside pressure to do it) completely paralyzes me and stops me from being able to do it, and also stops me from doing much of anything else? what is wrong with me and is it fixable by taking pills?
#this is either a complex and nuanced situation that is an amalgam of several issues in my life#or its just “oh thats textbook [name of disorder] u need to see ur doctor and ask for [name of medication] and itll literally fix u forever#the biggest issue is unsurprisingly that i need to speak to a doctor about this#but booking a doctors appointment is one of the tasks im apparently incapable of doing#mentally i just cannot do that#tbf the fact that i hate speaking on the phone in the first place compounds that problem#which itself is a combination of my low self esteem and my dysphoria and my mild-to-moderate fear of social interaction#and the fact that i struggle a lot with independence and very frequently feel like i need someone to like provide care#i feel so useless#cant even fucking pick up a phone to call a doctor#like its not that im choosing not to#ive needed to for like a year now#i wouldnt choose to fuck myself over like this#and yet here i am thoroughly fucked over by my own inaction#and STILL im incapable of unfucking myself
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DPxDC Ring of Rage? More Like Ring of Engage
The thing is, Tim didn't mean to put it on. He was just kind of playing with it to keep his hands busy while he was thinking about the recent murder case. GCPD had their hands full with the serial robbers that didn't rank high enough to catch Batman's attention, and Tim never had a problem with helping the police if he had time.
And the ring was a perfect fidget toy, if he is being honest. Small and plain enough not to distract him, but the round stone in the middle was loosely attached, making it able to spin inside the frame. Which is what he did, again and again, like those fidget spinners.
Of course, he was just destined to drop it sooner or later. And then, when he reached under the table to pick it up, his finger caught inside the ring, and, well.
The ring was now firmly on his finger.
The problem was that he couldn't take it off.
It wasn't stuck, at least not in the general sense of it - Tim could easily spin it around, and it wasn't tight. But it wasn't loose either, and as soon as he tried to move it past the knuckle, the ring heavily disagreed, almost like shrinking down and absolutely refusing to be detached.
Barbara suggested soap, which didn't work. Dick tried for a more mechanical approach, first with pliers and then with a laser, which the ring resisted with no effort. Cass, who was actually the one who brought the damned thing into the Cave after one of her adventures in Hong Kong, just smiled and shrugged, which was of no help either. Damian offered to cut the finger off, which probably would have helped, but Tim rather liked all his limbs attached.
Bruce called Constantine. The magician took one look at the ring, barked a humorless laugh, and pat Tim on the shoulder sympathetically.
"Congrats, mate," he said, a wry smile on his lips, "I hope you file for divorce."
Although, while all the rest of the Bats and Birds devolved into fits of hysterical laughter (Steph), indignant sputtering (Damian), and cries of outrage (everyone else sans Alfred, who was pointedly unimpressed), Tim couldn't even bring himself to be surprised. Really, his life had been a shitshow since he was around ten. It's not like he didn't expect himself to be accidentally married to some otherworldly magical creature by this point.
The worst part - worse than the actual engagement, that is - was that Constantine couldn't exactly tell them who the spouse was.
What he did say was that the Ring belonged to the King of Infinite Realms, Keeper of Unseen Worlds, and Eyes of Universe. But those were only titles, and, as John Constantine begrudgingly admitted, there has been a change in the management recently, so no one really knew what the new almighty monarch looked like or what they were, much less their whereabouts.
"You can't blame me for not being keen to find out, though," John said, wincing, "The last one was a bloody tyrant, and the Realms operate under the right of conquest rule."
At least, the mage assured them that since the being had not yet come to collect their shiny new spouse, they might never show up at all. The Ring has been lost for ages after all, so maybe the King didn't even remember having one. Or, the previous King didn't, and the new one didn't know about or didn't care.
The first week after the incident, they spent anxiously researching and worrying. Bruce even went as far as making Tim wear a tracker at all times, which was not great, but he did appreciate the gesture. Kind of.
After the first month with no sign of any changes, the worry started to abate. In half a year, most of the family stopped trying to keep an eye on Tim at all times lest he suddenly disappeared. Two years later, even Tim himself treated the Ring as a natural part of his daily life. The stone inside was still a great fidget toy, engagement or not.
Three years, one month, and five days after Tim first put the Ring on his finger, when the world was falling apart and breaking in front of him and there was not a single thing he could do to stop it anymore, Tim pressed his lips to the cold, dark strip of unknown metal on his finger.
"Whoever you are, I don't even care, please," he whispered in a useless prayer, his voice hoarse and his throat dry, "please, help."
And the world came to a stop with a short, amused chuckle.
"Oh, I thought you'd never ask."
[part 2 ->]
#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#tim drake#batfam#batman#ring of rage#ghost king danny#john constantine#accidental marriage#im leaning towards fae!danny here#kinda#the ring of rage is basically a magic engagement ring#its also not entirely accidental#the ring chooses the spouse to its liking#so#marriage of destiny?#soulmates?#engagement orchestrated by an artifact#the artifact may or may not be a little shit#cork writes#cork prompts#tim x danny#dead tired#brain dead
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sympathy for cain
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#sukuna#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#and here i thought i had finally drawn smth that didnt need the spoiler tag but unfortunately nobara has her eyepatch smh#crazy tht i end up drawing sukuna of all people when im in this mood#havent drawn the guy in a while fr starters#also Not the character i would have thought to choose to process my emotions for me but it fits very well#dont read into it :)#i dont like this piece too much tbh like its fine its cool im just in a headspace n this has all of it in it#this is why i dont typically like to draw to vent bc then i cant look at the finished product without seeing all the feelsbad behind it#but whatever . maybe todays chapter will fix me#oh yeah 2 fv captions in a row bc thats what u get when im emo. shame/rotten goes hard fr sukuna/yuuji
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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MC doing what we all wished we could do (aka napping on the floor with ominis )😴💕
#ill never get over how he just sleeps on the floor its so cute to me and seems so at odds with his personality which makes it better#hogwarts legacy#hphl#ominis gaunt#ominis gaunt x mc#ominis gaunt x oc#ominis x mc#hogwarts legacy ominis#hogwarts legacy fanart#hey look everyone its my nameless MC aka just brown haired clora LMAOOO#its like when u play a fighting game and you and your friend both choose the same chara. this is clora with a diff colour scheme BAHAHA#this has been in my wips for like a year im not even joking im glad to finally actually draw it properly LMAO#i also love how all of my ominis centric posts involve him on the floor/talking about the floor LMFAOO EVEN THE SMUT ONE#what can i say i just love a man who isnt afraid to chill on the floor ok#also i love a hypocritical man LMAO apparently. i always make seb a hypocrite and now im makin ominis one too#HOW COULD U SLEEP ON THE FLOOR MC?#meanwhile#also srry but dont get ur hopes up for more ominis content anytime soon this was just in my wips and i rly wanted to finally have it done#A RARE TREAT FOR THE OMINIS GIRLIES#choccyart
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Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
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while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best
#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#sklonda gukgak#dimension 20#this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really.#I am very normal about riz (<- lying)#it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth)#riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the#majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job#and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous#like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time#not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day#and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize#you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working#this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me#the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society#holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense#anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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Theres something about the idea of post game Harry relapsing and going to Jean instead of Kim. Maybe bcuz he's too scared to disappoint Kim, and he knows Jean already expected him to relapse... but also maybe just cuz it feels familiar.
#mann im sorry#u can also just imagine this being pre martinaise#disco elysium#harry du bois#jean vicquemare#my art#do u think a small part of jean would enjoy it? harry choosing to go to him instead of kim... feeling like he has the old harry back#even if its the worst part of him
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no matter the distance, you'll always be mine! 🧡🤍
#souyo#hanashu#persona 4#p4#yu narukami#yosuke hanamura#souji seta#souyoweek2024#i did the entire week on twitter but i dont feel like uploading every piece... this is the one i liked the most so its the one#im choosing to crosspost lol. hope you enjoy#my art
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'Dead Poets Society' gang
Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.
Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne
Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne
Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne
Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne
#My background is ass#I promise to practice but omg i am losing motivation coz its too ugly#started putting some on coloring that i started being happy about it#But my background is level toddler i hate it#the patience and discipline to make my lines straight and clean is nonexistent gdi...why did past me choose library gdi#Just writing some Duke in my fics and this image of them all just made me wanna do art...Duke is a poet and writes stories u kno?#Duke is not a wayne yet...and is not dead yet...but with how comics goes then its just a matter of time lol#They're all in school here...Cass and Jason are college watching over their juniors in high school#everyone use cardigans but Jason like his leather so no thanks lol#Duke and Cass in outsiders are cute#jason todd#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#robin#cassandra cain#duke thomas#inking & background study#Damian is now 14!!!! He's getting old...he's like a baby yesterday omg#I need to stop obsessing over this so i posted a WIP so i can continue writing my fic!!! argh#Im gonna watch youtube tutorials again on drawing bookshelves coz i cannot do this without guidance
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i think im going to give up on naming my mascot and just call it 'the creature' or critter forever now. like, giving it a different name than my own feels completely wrong, but calling it by my own name feels wrong too, its like the bite sized version of me and my personality so its not ALL of me, but its also not NOT me. the critter
#it also provides this very comfortable blanket of distance thats always allured me about the internet. like#you can get to know me.. but there are parts of me that are just all for myself#and i think thats really nice actually#its not a persona in the sense im acting differently than i actually do. its a glove that fits very natuarlly#but it means i can choose what parts of myself to share. its not a character im playing but a characeture of myself. do you understand?
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...wait
what a man he is, this Gale Dekarios
#mmmmmm#yeah okay im normal about it once again i swear good night#baldur's gate#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#gale romance#bg3 gale#bg3 screenshots#mystuff#actually love when he tries to be smooth and then just.. like this#yeah im a brilliant person but i still cant believe you chose me#its also what he has in common with Astarion when you choose him over someone adsfasdf#gale x durge#ooops i tagged as Tav its not true akdhsjdh
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genuinely curious how the writers and larger dragon age audience would treat thom rainier if instead of being appropriately* repentant and putting himself in prison he blew up a major orlesian government building to instigate a chevalier rebellion or tried to have someone do some necromantic blood magic ritual involving uncertain danger and possible sacrifices to bring the innocent children he ordered killed back to life
#*appropriately as in showing the expected amount of remorse in the appropriate way in a society founded on guilt and shame#i think blackwall actually tells us a lot about how dragon age's writers conceptualize justice and deservedness of punishment#im glad we get the option to forgive him but why do we get the option when anders is exiled at best?#and later characterized as a villain by dai#when solas is willfully imprisoned at best and trapped in a horrifying psychological torture chamber at worst?#blackwall gets a full redemption happy ending if inky so chooses#and im not saying he shouldnt#i forgive him every time#but its so interesting to me that narratively speaking#he seems to earn his happy ending through submission to punishment via imprisonment#as does solas but blackwall is portrayed far more sympathetically overall#there isnt the same meta-level narrative slander and clear agenda on behalf of the writing to make you feel a certain way about his crimes#as there is with anders and solas#why? whats the difference? what did he do to buy himself that narrative goodwill?#put himself in prison? why do the writers love carceral punishment so much lmfaooo#mine#if you wanna screenshot these tags and add them to the reblog feel free#im realizing i prob just shouldve put all of this in the post but its too late now#i think theres actually a strong argument that thom does not do nearly ENOUGH to right his wrongs#where is his effort to reform the orlesian military? where is his criticism of orlesian imperialism?#how does serving in the inquisition have a direct impact on the people he harmed? it doesnt#when you compare him to someone like roy mustang#yes im comparing him to roy mustang this is my blog and you are never going to escape roy mustang comparisons here#roy's political ambitions following his war crimes are directly related to those war crimes#and his goals directly benefit the same group of people he harmed#their ancestors and family members literally#meanwhile blackwall just kind of does vague “good” deeds and gets a full redemption#he really does not make much effort to repatriate the harm he did as a soldier#he just moves on#which again.... no shade to blackwall. my inky forgives him
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#forever puppy <3#lee know#kim seungmin#stray kids#skz#skz gifs#bystay#skzedit#gagwanzsource#fr though everyones insistence he like wouldnt deal with a dog or whatever had me rolling my eyes#how many times do i have to say that cat guy can love a dog too!! raise a dog!! lee know said he wants to raise a dog in the future#the insistence youre a cat person or a dog person must end. its like being bisexual when people tell you to choose like Naw i dont think so#it was like comments on the kitten interview bein like Wow 🥺 chan was nice to the cats even tho he has a dog 🥺#of course he was you clown. hes even nice to bugs. whatre you thinking#everyone reading these tags pls note: its 2am and i have strong feelings about animals or idk- stop pigeonholing lee know#only pigeon him when he has pigeon hair etc etc.#bye#im not actually angry i just love tangenting on gifsets bc i love to do it
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(disappears for a month and reappears with a slightly obscure hyperfixation) Hey guys
#★ my art#art#dandys world#dandy’s world#Is that it What do i even tag..#idk why i called it obscure it has 10mil visits on roblox but i Dont see it anywhere so. Whatever i say what i want#★ arin rambles#Oh boy here we go#so i found this game like. The day before yesterday. So ive known this game for 2 days. Dude#DUDE. DUDE. my friends call this game my baby rattle its so absurd#the way this garbage mascot horror has ensnared me. i feel like a fool#Just hold on let me paint a picture for you. So just listen (<- aka read but just pretend)#So i press this game not knowing what on earth is in store#and me and my bestie choose our basic boring loser starter. And we walk into that elevator. and im walking around just Amazed…#And i look over and theres like A tv on the floor. And theres the most jaw dropping smooth animation on there im like OKAY THIS GAME IS FIRE#and i see the funny rainbow flower#AND RIGHT NEXT TO HIM…. THAT BORING BASIC BLUE HAT..#I SAW HIM. I WAS GOBSMACKED.#We lost the game cuz shrimpo jumped me because i was So distracted i took like 20 screenshots of astro#And thats how it all started#i didnt know his name..#in fact i didnt even know if his cover was purple or blue#but i knew 1 thing for certain..#THIS WAS LOVE!!!!!!!! AND I WANT TO BEAT HIM WITH A ROCK😭😭😭😭😭😭#dandys world oc#dandys world astro
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