#like its not a backpack but she can have her essentials with her

[artsynerdwithasword-takecover]

Phew now that I finished the animatic I can get back to my regular shenanigans!

Tweaking Emilia's design with new shoes and thigh high socks; I'm actually really happy with how this sketch came out! (so I might make a digital coloured version too)

[scarletlizzard]

Inked Desires - Part 2

Read Part 1 right here

Summary: After your one night stand with a stranger turns into a regular hookup, feelings begin to develop between you and Natasha. A night out at the bar with your friends has her begging wanting more with you.

Pairing: gp!Natasha x fem!Reader

Tags MINORS DNI: natasha has a dick, buff out this world & covered with tats and piercings, little bit of yearning and pining, mentions of alcohol, smut, blowjob, unprotected sex, breeding, begging, miscommunication

Masterlist

A/N: Part 1 blew up like crazy! I never ever thought I would EVER get that many notes. Especially for, essentially, a smut piece I wasn't used to writing. After being asked a few times, I agreed to make a part 2, buuut I've been in a (bad) writing rut lately. So I wanna shout out the person who gave me so many good ideas and an actual plot to work with. Y'all can thank just her for there actually being a part 2 cause there almost wasn't one 🙏 Thanks for helping, kisses for your big brilliant brain.

Hopefully, she and y'all like it? It's a bit longer. Let me know what you think, please, and thank you thank you so much for reading 💞

That being said, there will be a part 3 😄

"Split? Like down the middle?" Kate asks with a look of shock on her face. You walk in step beside her along the concrete path on campus.

"Right down the middle," you laugh and adjust the bag on your shoulder, thinking back to just a few days ago when Natashas skillful tongue worked its magic on your body. Your cheeks heat up at the memory.

That first night you met, Natasha had given you a kiss goodbye and gave you her number before you took a very drunk Kate Bishop home. Since then you had seen the redhead multiple times over the course of the last few weeks. Neither of you seemed to be able to keep your hands off of each other. Each time you met it was for sex, and even the time she had taken you to dinner it ended with you getting fucked into her mattress again.

You knew the basics about each other, where you lived, eachothers jobs... the more you thought about it the more it upset you. The physical level the two of you were on was heavenly, but really, well, you barely knew her.

Kates voice interrupts your thoughts as you enter the English building, and you stop walking as she does.

"What was that?" You ask, looking to the smirk plastered on her face with curiosity.

"I said, speak of the devil," she chuckles and nods her head in the direction of a very tall Natasha striding your way. "See you in there," Kate says and walks into the classroom, leaving you in the hallway.

You want to drown in the sight of her, wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt with old, dirty vans on her feet. You smile, trying not to drool at the way you can see the pops of color show from underneath her shirt or the way the sleeves seem too tight against her biceps as she grips the strap of her backpack.

"Hey there..." Natasha greets you with a smile, head pointing down as she stills before you. "Been a few days, haven't heard from you," she adds, her eyes baring into yours. You want to slap yourself for not replying to her text by the almost hurt look in her eyes.

"Well it hasn't even been a week, you miss me already?" You ask her with a little tilt of your head up at her, biting your lip as you see a blush spread across her cheeks. Her hand moves to the side of her neck, scratching at the ink awkwardly.

"No, no. Wait, I mean -" She lets out a sigh and shakes her head as you giggle at her. It was interesting, the difference in her appearance verses this nervous demeanor. "Maybe I did?" Natasha raises an eyebrow, the silver ring lifting higher.

"I might have missed you too," you shrug casually and watch as her face eases back into a smile. "I'm sorry I haven't texted, I've just been so busy with school and work." You point to the classroom next to you that Kate had entered. She follows the direction and nods.

"No worries, you're a busy lady. I actually took Mr. Furys class last year. Maybe I could take you for a coffee and give you some tips? Or maybe just um, talk?" Natasha asks, her tone quiet as she looks down to you.

You smile at the sincerity in her eyes. "I'm free after this class?" You take a step back, towards the room and match the wide smile on her lips.

"Sounds perfect," Natasha nods, and you can't ignore the way your heart speeds up in your chest. Instead of taking another step away you walk forward, leaning up on your tip toes to press a soft kiss to her cheek.

Natasha can feel the burn on her cheeks, the affect you had on her drove her wild. You lean back and smile at her flustered state, leaving her alone in the now empty hallway.

An hour and a half later, you emerge from the classroom, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering around at the sight of Natasha sitting on the floor. She had a book in her hand, closing it the moment she saw you and Kate walking towards her.

"Have you been sitting there this whole time?" You ask and tilt your head, watching the way her muscles flex as she runs a hand through her auburn hair.

"Uh, maybe?" A small blush hints on her cheeks, and she smiles at you and your friend. "I'm Natasha, by the way," she says and holds out her hand in front of Kate.

Kate chuckles at the formality, and you hit her arm, giving her a look. She shakes Natashas hand, "Kate... nice to finally meet you," She smiles back and looks next to her at you. "I'll see you tomorrow night, you should invite your friend."

You roll your eyes at Kates tease but nod and tell her you'll see her later.

"Coffee?" Natasha asks, and the ridiculous grin on her face is enough for you to agree to just about anything.

As you walk side by side, you can't help but admire her gentle personality. This woman, covered in tattoos and piercings with an intimidating gaze, was the complete opposite. She spoke to you about her schedule and that she was in school for sports medicine with a glint in her eyes.

"Like physical therapy?" You ask her curiously. You watched the way her face lit up at your interest, and she beamed down to you.

"Yeah, exactly that. If all else fails, I'll just be a personal trainer," she lets out a small chuckle, and you take the second she holds the door open for you to admire her toned body.

"How do I sign up? I need a good workout partner," you say with a flirtatious tone, brushing against her as you walk inside. You relish the blush on her cheeks and the small smirk on her lips as the smell of fresh coffee hits you.

"Didn't get a good enough workout last week?" Natasha replies.

"Oh, I had a great workout... but if I had a personal trainer, I'm sure I could get a good workout in at least a few times a week. Isn't that recommended?" You look up to her, seeing her neck redden and her eyes darken.

"I would definitely recommend that," Natasha mumbles as the two of you walk up to the counter.

As Natasha orders, you can't help but notice the change in her posture and attitude. Suddenly, she was standing straight, an impassive and series look on her face. Her tone was low as she talked to the woman at the counter. Natasha turns to you and nods for you to order. You do, and as she hands the woman her card, you smile up at her.

"Thank you for getting this for me," you say gratefully, watching her melt under your gaze. The smile was back, and her eyes came to life again. It seemed she had a soft spot for you.

"Of course, it's my treat," she says and walks you to a small table in the corner.

From there, you spend the entire rest of the evening actually talking and getting to know Natasha. As you already knew, she works out religiously, and you told her how lucky you felt that she had skipped her workout today just to sit down with you. She got her first tattoo at 18 and loved it, so she just never stopped getting them. The first piercing she got was on her eyebrow, and the same there, she just kept going.

It felt as if you were sitting in front of a whole new person than the one you met just weeks ago. The one who pile drived you into the mattress at a party and left you weak in the legs and sore the next day. Natasha was kind and sweet, funny, and surprisingly shy. Any time you made an attempt to flirt or give an innuendo, she would chuckle shyly and blush the slightest.

There were a few times you even had to squeeze your thighs as you thought back to that night. Any time her tongue would wet her lower lip or her eyes would travel to your neck. She loved your neck, you noticed. Every time you had hooked up her lips would go straight for the skin there, nipping at the few small freckles that adorned the area.

"That's a long time to be friends with someone," Natasha states as you finish telling her about yours and Kates relationship. Best friends since the fourth grade, completely inseparable.

"It's nice to have someone so close, who knows me so well. Especially since I'm an only child," you reply and watch her brow lift.

"Oh really? I have a sister, Yelena. She bugs the hell out of me, but I love her to death. She goes to the college just a couple of hours from here. Actually," Natasha looks at her phone, checking the time. "I'm supposed to meet her soon... she came home for the weekend."

You nod slowly and look around, realizing everyone had left and the two baristas were cleaning up. As the two of you stand, Natasha suddenly towering over at you, you feel a little disappointment in your chest. You were having more fun with her than you thought, and you found yourself not wanting to part.

"Hey, Kate and I are going to this bar tomorrow night. A few of our friends are getting together. Joes?" You say to her, smiling to yourself as she once again holds the door open for you.

"Yeah, I've been there a few times before," Natasha says with a grin, standing outside the coffee shop with you.

"If you want, maybe you and Yelena can meet us? You don't have to, of course, but..." You trail off.

"I will definitely be there. Text me a time?" She asks, and you nod happily. Natasha leans down, and you think for a second she's going to kiss you, but her lips land on the soft skin of your cheek. You put your hand on her arm as she does, feeling the tattooed skin burn underneath your touch.

****

Joes Bar is crowded, but that's to be expected on a Saturday night near a college campus. A local alternative band plays loudly on the small stage on one side of the room, and you find yourself on the opposite side sitting at the bar. Kate is nearby talking to friends and a few strangers, but you only had one person in mind.

You glance at your phone again, seeing no notifications. With a sigh, you finish your second drink, ordering a third as you contemplated the possibility she wasn't going to show up. This is why you didn't do this type of thing. You don't hook up with hot strangers. You don't get coffee with gorgeous, sweet women. You stayed to yourself, guarded your heart, and let yourself be safe from any type of rejection or heartbreak.

But God Natasha was worth breaking your rules.

You found your way back to reality as the bartender handed you a drink and said thank you before grabbing it and removing yourself from the bar stool. As you turn, you bump into someone, almost spilling your drink on them.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry!" You apologize, shaking the liquor off your hand as you had spilled a little on yourself.

"It's okay, I was just trying to squeeze in next to you," the woman says, and in your tipsy state, you raise an eyebrow. She seemed about your age, dirty blonde hair, and a familiar grin on her lips. You definitely hadn't seen her in here before.

"I was just getting up, actually. You can have my seat. Is that an accent I hear?" You ask curiously, moving out of the way so she could take your place.

"Yeah, I still have a bit of an accent, I was born in Russia. Lived there for a while," she says and nods. She then orders two drinks before turning back to you.

"Wow, you're a long way from there. You go to school here?" You ask her and sip your drink, feeling Kate stand behind you.

"No, but my sister does, though," the blonde smiles and grabs the two bottles of beer from the bartender. She looks at you and extends her arm towards Kate to hand her a bottle. You give her a confused look.

It's only then you realize, as an inked hand reaches over you to take the beer, that it's not Kate standing there, but Natasha. You turn instantly and look up, a habit your neck was quickly getting used to doing.

"Well, well, look who showed up," you say and take your bottom lip between your teeth. Natasha smiles at your words, noticing the way you take in her appearance.

If it was possible, Natasha looked hotter than ever. She wore a black t shirt underneath a leather jacket. Her flaming hair was behind her in a braid with a few loose strands framing her face.

"I see you've met my sister, Yelena," Natasha chuckles and nods in the direction of the blonde woman.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. Natty here hasn't been able to shut up abou-" Yelena is cut off by Natasha flicking the bottle cap at her face, a stern expression on the older woman's face.

You smile at the siblings' banter, watching Yelena laugh and shrug innocently. Whether it be the alcohol flowing in your bloodstream or the way Natasha looked at you, you slide your hand into hers. She tenses at first, not used to the public display of affection from you, but quickly relaxes as you intertwine your fingers with hers.

"Come on, come meet everyone," you say and tug on her hand in the direction of Kate.

You find them huddled around a pool table, watching as Kate lines up the pool tip to the cue ball with one eye closed. Carol stands leaning against her own stick, shaking her head and putting out the cigarette she smokes into the ashtray on the edge of the table.

"Anyday, Bishop..." Carol groans, earning a laugh from the group.

"Seriously, how long are you going to take?" Peter chimes in.

Kate ignores them and continues to stare intensely at the 8 ball. Her arm begins to pull back to take the shot, but as Yelena comes into focus on the opposite side of the table, Kate is finally distracted by the beautiful blonde. The cue ball misses her target completely, rolling across the table and sinking into the pocket.

"Scratch!" Carol cheers and high fives Monica. Kate looked up at Yelena, her lips parted as if she was going to speak, but no words came out. Carol then steps up to the table and sinks the 8 ball, ending the game with a dramatic bow.

You smile at the group, raising an eyebrow at the silent state of your best friend. "Guys, this is Natasha and her sister Yelena," you say, receiving waves and friendly greetings from everyone. You introduce them to the Romanoffs a little more before they rack up for another game.

"You any good?" Carol nods to Natasha, who gives a humble shrug.

"I'm decent," she replies with a smirk on her face as she brings the bottle to her lips. Carol hands the pool stick over before going to get drinks for the group.

"Hope you're good, Romanoff. We still haven't beat Y/N," Peter says begrudgingly. You only hum in response as Kate hands you her stick, positioning yourself across the table.

"Is that so?" Natasha watches with playful eyes as you skillfully break, the balls rolling in different directions along the table and a few of them sinking into the pockets.

When you lean up, you smile and reach your hand up to pat her cheek. "Good thing you didn't bet anything," you chuckle.

After a few back and forth turns, Carol returns with shots, to which you all cheer and take at the same time. The alcohol was definitely settling its way into your system now, and you were hot to the touch each time Natasha had to lean down to take her shot. Between the focused look on her face and the way the pool stick slid between her fingers, it was enough for you to want her right there.

You step forward next to her, looking at the direction of the shot she was trying to take. "That's a tough one, baby," you say to her, the term of endearment catching Natasha off guard.

Her body visibly tenses as she looks to you with a visceral reaction and swallows hard. You feign an innocent smile, taking a mental note to call her that again just to see her reaction. Natasha misses the shot and curses under her breath.

"That's not fair," she says and shakes her head as she stands tall. The red head removes her jacket, finding that the room was getting hotter.

You shrug and easily pocket two more balls on your turn. When you look to Kate to make a comment about the shot, you realize she's strayed from the group, chatting up Yelena. With your friends being in their own worlds at the moment, you decide to have a little fun with Natasha.

"You're not so bad, you know. The others have a hard time keeping up with me," you smile as she leans down, and your hand rests on her back, rubbing over her shirt.

"Y/n," Natasha mumbles, the blush on her cheeks evident she enjoyed your touch.

"Yes, Nat?" You pur, watching the muscles flex understand the fabric. Knowing you had this type of effect on her gave you a sense of power that only made you hungry for more. Your hand slithers underneath the bottom of her shirt, nails scratching at her back. She misses. You smile.

"You're a cheater, you know that?" Natasha says in a playful tone, her body naturally leaning towards you.

Your hands rest on her stomach, "I don't know what you're talking about." You lean up and plant a soft kiss on her lips, smirking as she leans down and melts against your mouth. "I'm just having fun," you whisper.

At that, you step away from her, crossing over to the opposite side of the table. You lean down more than you need to, and you don't miss the way Natashas eyes dart back and forth from your breasts to your neck. She finishes another bottle, and you can tell you've stressed her out by the way her hand grips the glass.

You continue to do the same thing for the remainder of the game, teasing her with every shot she took and making sure to bend in front of her any chance you could. It came down to the 8 ball, and you had to admit, you were dragging the game on longer than you needed to.

"Last one," you sigh and put your hand on the back of her neck as she leans down. Your fingers squeeze gently as she clears her throat, trying to ignore the shivers that run down her spine every time you touch her. You lean down with her, your lips brushing against her ear. "Good luck, baby," you whisper and kiss her cheek.

Her neck gets red at your words, and her grip on the stick only tightens. You think it'll snap in half with how hard she holds it. Natasha quickly shoots and misses, causing you to raise an eyebrow with just how quick she took the shot. Instead of stepping back, she continues to stand pressed against the table. "All yours," she mumbles and holds her hand out to the table, shifting uncomfortably as she stands.

You line up the shot and sink the black ball easily, looking up at her with a wide smile. She only gives you a small smile back with a nod. "Aren't you going to give me a victory kiss?" You ask as you step back to her.

Natasha hesitates for a moment but finally turns to face you. Your hands move up to wrap around her neck, your body pressing against her front as she leans in. Before your lips can touch your eyes, widen the slightest. You now realize the reason for the sudden uncomfortable physical shift she had taken when you felt her bulge pressing hard against you.

"Oh... was I teasing you too much?" You ask with a smirk on your lips. She rolls her eyes and moves to pull away, but you don't let her. "What was it?" You ask her.

"What was what?" She replies, her hands moving to your waist. You press your body further into her and relish the hiss that leaves her mouth.

You search her eyes, thinking to the moment her demeanor had changed. Suddenly, there was that power-hungry feeling again when you realized the reasoning. The fact that you could get her hot and bothered by a simple word leaving your lips, by your voice alone, and the thought of you driving someone like her mad. Natasha was weak in the knees for you, and she struggled internally with the way you made her feel. She wasn't used to it.

"Why don't you let me help you take care of your little problem... baby, " you whisper to her, feeling her shoulders tense above you. "Come on." You slide back and take her hand in yours, leading her away from the pool table and towards the bathroom.

As soon as both of you are inside and you lock the door, the two of you are on top of each other just like the first night you met her. Natasha kisses you feverishly, like she'd never been kissed before, with your back hard against the door. You welcomed her tongue into your mouth, moaning as the two halves wrap around your own.

With one hand, you hold onto the front of her shirt, gripping tightly, with the other you slide it in between your bodies, letting yourself grope the hard bulge in her jeans. Natasha lets a hint of a whimper leave her lips, one you hadn't heard since the first time with her, and you smirk into the kiss.

"What's the matter, baby? Do you need some help?" You ask innocently, lips ghosting hers. She breathes heavily and nods as your hands move to undo her belt.

"Sweetheart... please," she says, and you decide in that moment that you need her to say that again. Just the idea that this strong, formidable woman could so easily melt in your presence made you thrilled.

Her hands rest on either side above your head, pressed flat against the door as you slide her pants down. You can see the precum dampening a spot on her underwear, and you feel yourself get wet at the sight of it. She needed you, bad.

"Please, what?" You ask, your hand moves to grab her through her boxers, and you stroke her length through the thin fabric.

"Fu-fuck," she barely breathes out, eyes searching yours. Natasha hadn't begged a day in her life, but she would happily beg for you. She was at the point right now that she was willing to get down on her knees and beg for you. You made her desperate.

"Please touch me, please. You feel how hard I am for you? Just -" You squeezing a little harder makes her gasp before continuing. "I need you to touch me. Please, sweetheart... please, " she begs. You smile at her words, enjoying the way her body melts at your touch and the way she begs for you.

At her words you slide down her boxers, and her cock twitches at the feeling of finally being released. She lets out a sigh of relief as your delicate fingers wrap around her. "Is this what you wanted?" You hum, beginning to move your hand up and down. Natasha nods, chest beginning to rise and fall rapidly at your movements.

When you stop, she looks at you with a disoriented look, eyebrows lifting as she watches you drop to your knees. You take her cock in your hand, letting your other rest on her thick, toned thigh. From here you can see her happy trail peaking from underneath her shirt, making your panties wetter. The way she looks down at you with a breathless expression and parted lips makes you want to live your life on your knees for her. Your lips kiss along the side of her length, teasing slowly with your tongue licking up it. Natasha groans with pleasure at the feeling and her hips instinctively buck towards you.

You give in, not wanting to tease her anymore tonight, and take her cock into your mouth. The moan that leaves her mouth is outright sinful, and her fist hits the door with a thud as you begin to bob your head. Your cheeks hollow out when you begin moving faster, taking as much of her as you could. When the tip hits the back of your throat your eyes sting, tears threatening to leave your ducts. Natasha pants heavily above you, savoring the moment of you on your knees for her, sucking her off.

"Look at you, such a pretty girl with my cock in your mouth- fuck," Natasha speaks low to you, her eyes dark as she watches her cock disappear against your lips. Your fingers on her thigh dig in, your nails digging into her skin to leave crescent shaped marks, at her words. "All night you've been teasing me... this is the only way to shut you up, isn't it?" She says and you moan against her, the vibrations sending her close to the edge.

Her breathing gets heavier and you can tell she's about to cum, but before she can you quickly remove your mouth, your saliva coating her as you release with a pop. You stand, not ignoring the frustrated look on her face.

"Baby, I think you're confused," you say, your hands moving to the top of your dress. "You're not in charge right now," You let out a small laugh and pull down on the fabric, letting your breasts spill out. Natashas face reddens in response, and she immediately moves to kiss your chest. You can feel the marks she leaves as her lips trail across your breasts, her skillful tongue pleasuring your sensitive nipples.

Natashas' large hands move to the bottom of your dress as her kisses begin to litter up your neck. You let her move the material above and over your hips, but stop her as she reaches your panties. "I wanna hear you," you mumble out. She lets out a huff and pulls away from your neck.

"Y/n... please." Natasha says. You only continue to look at her with innocent eyes. The fact that she would beg for you - is begging for you, made you feel instant gratification.

"Please, pretty girl? Please let me make you feel good. I want to fuck you, want to make you feel good so bad..." She begs, and you let her slide your panties down your legs. Natasha slides her tip between your closed thighs, her cock now being coated from the wetness that spread between your legs.

She slips in between your folds, waiting for your words. Her fingers dig into your hips. "You drive me so fucking insane," Natasha whispers as her head ducks to your neck again. "I could cum from just looking at you. Just hearing you say my name. You know how much control you have over me?" Her hips continue rocking against you, your thighs squeezing her hard cock. She begins to pant again, her neck red and hot to the touch as you wrap your arms around it, interlocking your fingers behind her head.

"Please," Natasha whimpers, and the sound is enough to make you moan. You needed to feel her inside you immediately, hear more of those moans leave her lips.

"Show me how bad you want me, how insane I make you feel," you finally say and lean forward to bite her lower lip. She wastes no time lifting you up, helping you wrap your legs around her hips. Your back presses against the door again and with one hand she guides her cock inside of your warm velvet walls, easily ,with how wet you were for her.

Natasha begins to thrust up into you, a feeling you had become accustomed to these past few weeks, although you weren't sure you'd ever get used to her size. She groans against your chest, nipping at the skin. The small bathroom fills with the sounds of her pounding into you, both of you moaning practically in sync with every thrust.

"So good, pretty girl, feel so good wrapped around my cock. I love fucking this pretty pussy," she breathes heavy against your skin as she speaks. You hold on tightly to her, only breathless moans escape your lips in response.

Suddenly, from the outside, someone bangs on the door, Natasha doesn't halt her descent on you. "Can you hurry the fuck up in there?" A stranger yells from the other side. Your eyes widen, a little bit of adrenaline rushing into your chest as she continues fucking into you.

Natasha smiles, now at your flustered state. "Occupied," is all she replies before her thrust picks up the pace. "You better keep quiet, sweetheart. You don't want everyone to know how much of a slut you are for me, letting me fuck you in the bathroom."

You squeeze your eyes closed as she fucks herself into you, trying your best to keep quiet. Each thrust was now hitting that special spot inside of you and drawing you closer to an orgasm. The feeling of her muscles flexing around you only intensified that feeling.

"Fuck I-I can't I'm-" Natasha stutters out as she groans into your neck, feeling your hot cunt tighten around her cock.

"Me too, Nat," you moan along with her, and your legs squeeze around her waist. "Let go, baby... wanna feel you fill me up." You watch her face twist in pleasure at your words, and the fact that it was enough to make her cum only added to your ego in the moment. Natasha grunts against your skin as she does just what you say, filling you up completely.

The sensation alone is enough to make you follow right behind her, the burn in your lower stomach blazing as you scream out her name.

"That's it, sweetheart, that's it... such a good girl for me," she coos as you fall apart in her arms, kissing your face as you breathe heavily. Your head falls against her shoulder, face panting in the crook of her neck as she holds you tightly, letting you come down off your high.

After a few moments she pulls out slowly, and you can feel the mixture of both your arousal dripping down your thighs. Natasha carries you to the sink, letting you rest on the hard surface while she pulls her pants back up and you fix the top of your dress.

"Hi," she says with a smile. You giggle, remembering she said the same thing afterward on the first night at her party.

"Hi," is all you reply, grabbing her shirt in your hand and pulling her closer to kiss you again.

****

"They have eight legs and eight eyes. How are they not scary?" Peter drunkenly speaks to Monica, who sits next to him with an amused look.

After your time in the bathroom with Natasha, the two of you had rejoined the group, and over the course of two hours, you had become increasingly wasted with the rest of your friends. As Yelena joined in on the topic of spiders, you feel Natasha rest her head back against your front.

She sat slouched back in one of the chairs that scattered near the table while you stood behind her, hands stroking her neck and massaging her shoulders. You can't help but smile down at her.

"You're so cute," you giggle and watch her brow raise. Your finger traces the dark lines on her neck.

"Anything but cute," Natasha groans, with a playful smirk on her face. "Why do you say that?"

"You're different than you look, you know? Why are you so nervous around me?" Your words slur, and she chuckles at your drunken state with a shrug, looking at the beer bottle she held in her hand.

"Must be the alcohol?" She says. You shake your head and poke her nose.

"You were drinking when I first met you, and you weren't like this," you point out and watch her swallow. You decide to move in front of her, settling yourself between her muscled thighs. As you stand in front of her, she sits up straighter, the two of you now practically the same height.

You take her hand in yours, playing with her fingers. She smiles a little as she looks at your intertwined hands.

"Maybe I was drinking that night to get enough courage to talk to you... and maybe I- maybe I'm drinking tonight to get enough courage to say I want more with you. More than... the hookups," she says and finally looks back up at you. Your heart races in your chest at her words, panic written on your face as you freeze in front of her.

That was exactly what you wanted. More of her, more of this beautiful person who was even more beautiful inside. To get to know what makes her really tick, what makes her happy, how her day was, how she likes her coffee. She wanted more, too, so why were you not speaking out loud?

"What?" Is all that comes out of your mouth.

Natashas face falls completely, misinterpreting your flustered state for a sign of rejection. She had hoped this wouldn't happen. Part of her wondered if this had just been a hook up, but the other part of her desperately hoped it wasn't.

Before the words could leave your parted lips, Kate calls over to you, taking the attention of both you and Natasha.

"Y/N, you ready to go? You can stay if you want, I'm gonna take Pete home, though," she nods to the direction of where he sat drunk rambling to Yelena.

"No, not -"

"Actually, Yelena and I have a lot to do tomorrow. We should head out too," Natasha interrupts you and stands, her hand moving to your lower back as you stare up at her with a pout.

"Are you sure?" You ask her, your hand reaching out to her side. She tenses under your grasp.

"Yeah, I'll text you later," She smiles at you, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes this time.

You nod anyways and smile back, leaning up to kiss her lips softly. "Thank you for tonight.. Hopefully, we can do it again soon?"

And while you were talking about hanging out with her, Natasha assumes you were talking about her fucking you.

"Yeah, soon," she lets out a breath and grabs her jacket, not taking a second look back at you as her and Yelena exit the bar.

***

A smile fills your face as your head hits the pillow, the soft comforter pulled over you as you lie on your warm bed and mull over tonights events. You wondered why Natasha had left in such a hurry before you could say anything, but you decided not to think too hard on it. She probably did have to go. It was early in the morning by the time you left, and besides, you would hear from her later.

Every morning, she texted you a quick and sweet text, telling you to have a good day.

Your chest swelled at the thought of it, how sweet it was that such a small, simple thing could brighten your entire day. What you assumed would happen tomorrow is that the two of you would talk about wanting more and how desperately you agreed with her about it.

But when the late morning came and the sunshine streamed through the windows, no text came with it.

[bugrry]

you're the thing that's crystal clear

hbo!joel miller x fem!reader

hello lovebugs!!

a/n: after thirteen months of no new writing, the inspiration bug finally bit me again! please please please let me know what you think! hopefully i'll have more works coming out in the next few months, fingers crossed! :EDIT: at first i'd had it written that it was a gn reader, forgetting that i'd used she/her pronouns for the reader. so sorry!

in this fic there are spoilers for episode six of the last of us AND i have not played the game, so if there are any inaccuracies, sorry!

tags/warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, reader and joel reuniting (let me know if i missed/forgot about anything!)

word count: 3,105

part two

Joel and Ellie had been at the commune for three whole hours before Joel can bring himself to ask about you. 

“Where is she?” Joel finally asks as the four of them sit together and enjoy their meal. Tommy sighs, as though he’d been waiting for Joel to ask the question. He probably had been. 

“I don’t know, Joel,” Tommy grunted, piercing the last morsel on his plate with his fork. 

“You said she came here with you,” Joel grumbles, his voice just above a whisper. 

“I also said she didn’t want to talk to you,” Tommy responds, swallowing and standing. He grabs his and Maria’s plate once she indicates that she’s done eating. Tommy moves to go to the kitchen, and Joel is following close behind him.

“So she’s here.” He tries to hide the desperation in his voice, but he doesn’t think he was all that convincing. He also doesn’t think he really cares. 

Tommy turns to him, almost snatching Joel’s plate out of his hands. “I’ll tell her you’re here. Let her decide what to do about it. Don’t you dare go lookin’ for her.” 

Joel sighs as he watches Tommy walk away from him, and he decides that he’s going to explore the rest of the commune. He eventually finds himself alone, sitting at a bar in an empty restaurant, thinking about the last time he saw you.

Three Years Ago

“Joel please!” You begged from where you stood with your half-packed backpack.

“No. I’m not joinin’ those Firefly fucks.” He stood tall and intimidating in front of you, almost like he was going to physically stop you from leaving. 

“Even if I have to go?” You said sharply, turning to grab another essential from your small cabinet. 

“You don’t have to go.” Joel almost scoffed. 

“I’ll die if I stay here.” 

“I’ll protect you!” Joel’s hands flew out from where they’d been at his sides. You flinched at the movement and the sudden change in his tone. 

“You can’t. Not from this.” You mumbled, just barely loud enough for him to hear. 

“From what?!” He continued to speak harshly, and you had to push through the instinct to just shut down. 

You dropped what you’d been holding, pressing the palms of your hands into the edge of the counter.  

“From myself!” You took a deep breath and finally turned to face him. “I am rotting here, Joel. I need to get out. For good.”

You had tried so hard to find a purpose here, with him, but every passing day only convinced you further that staying in Boston would kill you. One way or another, you knew that staying here would lead to you being just another one of the bodies that Joel had to toss in the pit. You shuddered at the thought. 

“You’ll rot there too! You can’t pick and choose your life anymore, Y/N! It’s like this everywhere!”

You shook your head, feeling heat rush into your face. “It doesn’t have to be! What if there’s something else out there? Something better?”

“You want to risk your life to find out?”

“Yes, Joel! I have to!” You heard your voice crack, and it was evident that the desperation in your body language had finally seeped its way into your words. 

“Fine!” He barked, turning towards his liquor cabinet as you finished shoving your things into your bag.

“Fine!” You pushed the whimper out of your voice as you zipped your bag shut and made your way out of your shared apartment. 

Once you’d slammed the door shut behind you, you pressed your back against the weakened wood. You shut your eyes as tight as you could, trying to will the tears away as you left down the stairs to where Tommy was waiting for you outside. 

Present Day, 2023

“Joel?” A soft voice comes from behind where Joel had parked himself at the bar. Joel’s head snaps up at your near-silent entrance. “Is that you?”

“...Y/N?” He curses himself for letting someone sneak up on him yet again. But once he sees your face, sees that you’re okay and alive he feels himself deflate. He hadn’t heard from you since you left, only getting bits and pieces from his brother, though Tommy had refused to give Joel much more than that. Joel was sure that had been at your request. After a while, Joel had stopped hearing from Tommy altogether, and thus lost access to whatever minuscule amounts of information he’d been getting about you. 

“They said that Tommy’s brother had come through. Guess they weren’t lyin’.”

“Guess they weren’t.” He mumbles, turning back to where he’d been picking at the chipping wood of the bar.

“You’re really gonna leave her?” You say softly, coming around to the other side of the bar. You pull two glasses from under the counter and turn to grab a bottle of whiskey off the shelf behind you. 

“Shit. How fast does word spread around here?” Joel says, watching your every move, trying to memorize the way you fit into this place so naturally, trying to convince himself that you’re happier here. Without him. 

“Fast enough.” You sigh, placing a half-full glass in front of him. “Dammit.” He doesn’t grab the glass right away, staring at the sloshing liquid until it stills. 

“You can’t leave her.” You say, resting your now empty hand against your hip. 

“Like you left me?”

You sigh, moving to pull a stool from under the counter. You can’t bring yourself to sit directly next to him, not yet. You needed the foot of space that the bar provided to keep you from completely drowning yourself in his presence. “I didn’t have a choice, you know that. You meant the world to me. You still do."

“Do I?” “Joel.” You hesitate. “Do I?” He barks, and there’s a harshness to his words that hadn’t been there when he’d first asked the question. You appear to flinch, but he chooses not to comment on your obvious apprehension. You take a minute to compose yourself before beginning to speak.

“Of course you do. There hasn’t been anyone since you. I don’t know if there ever will be.” You look down at the bar in front of you, daring only once to sneak a peek at Joel’s hands that had finally clasped around the glass. “You don’t have to lie for me. I’m a big boy.” He takes a swig of his drink, grimacing at the pleasant burn it left as it traveled down his throat. “I’m not lyin’. You were it for me.” You continue to avoid his eyes as you busied yourself with wiping down the counter.

Joel grumbled, wanting to drop his head onto the old wood in front of him. “You’re too young for me to have been it for you.” “Maybe so, but I loved you.” “Loved?” “What does it matter to you?” You snap, finally looking up at him and meeting his eyes. It was then that you noticed just how tired he was. Sure, he’d been grizzled and tired when you’d last seen him, but it seemed that the last three years had aged him faster than the previous seventeen had. 

“Never mind.” He says, breaking eye contact and looking back down at where his fingers traced the carvings in the glass. 

You soften, realizing just how much you’d truly missed him, how much you still miss him. You miss the way he’d hold you after a supply run went wrong – or right, for that matter. Joel had loved holding you whenever he got the chance. You miss the way he’d laugh at one of your shitty jokes, playfully pushing you away from him as you tried to get him to admit he’d found it funny. You blush when the thought pops into your head, but you also miss the way he’d put his whole body into kissing you, always made you lose yourself in the feel of his lips, his hands, and his thighs pressed against your body. You didn’t want to dig yourself any deeper of a hole, so you decide to bring the topic back to something you could think about without wanting to scream. 

“Please don’t leave her, Joel.”

Joel groans, looking back up at you and frowning, “We’re back on this?”

“It’s important. I can tell how much she means to you.” “It’s none of your business,” he says, taking a final swig of his drink. 

“Isn’t it?”

He shakes his head, looking down at the empty glass in front of him, “Nope.”

“I suppose it’s not,” you relent, moving to pour him another few ounces. He lets you.

“I’m glad we finally agree on something.”

You nod, looking down at the bottle in your hands. You place the bottle back on the shelf, turning back to take a drink out of your own glass. You decide to push it further. 

“Ellie’s not going to let you leave her.”

Joel sighs as if he’s annoyed that the conversation has continued, but he doesn’t leave. For that, you are thankful.

“What do you know about her?” He demands quietly, still refusing to look back up at you.

“I know enough.”

“I’m not gonna leave her,” he concedes, “I’m gonna give her a choice. Let her stay here or come with me.”

“She’s gonna choose you.”

“How do you know? You didn’t.” 

“That was different.” “Was it?” He grunts. 

“Yes. Because I regret it.” At this, his eyes snap up to meet yours. You’re looking at him sadly, as if it was obvious, as if he should have known that you regretted leaving him. Maybe he should have. He doesn’t say anything for a long while, just staring at you and watching the tears pool in your eyes.

“Oh,” is all he comes up with, and you frown. 

“Is that what you wanted to hear? That I regret leaving you? That I’ve been miserable this whole time without you?”

“No, of course not,” he says sincerely. 

You scoff, rolling your eyes and taking another drink from your glass, “Yeah right.”

“You think I wanted you to be miserable?” Joel says, finally standing from his seat at the bar, “I’ve thought about you every day since you left. I didn’t want to let you leave, but I also knew I had no power to stop you. I knew you were miserable in Boston. I knew I couldn’t convince you to stay.” “Even with how miserable leaving you made me feel, I think it was the right choice.” Joel frowns again, and the wrinkles around his eyes become only more prominent. You yearn to press the obvious hurt out of his face. You don’t let him speak, holding up your hand as you continue talking.

“I think I had to leave you. I don’t think I realized how important you were to me until I didn’t have you anymore.” At your words, Joel's frown only hardens. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t you tell me what I mean, Joel Miller,” you snap, your back straightening from where you’d been leaning against the shelf. 

“If I was so important to you, why didn’t you come back?”

“I didn’t think you wanted me back.” 

Joel’s face softens. He looks at you like you’ve just told him the most heartbreaking news he’d ever heard. “What?” He says it so quietly you almost miss it, “You thought…” he trails off, not allowing himself to finish the thought. 

“I thought you hated me.” You blurt. You curse yourself, you’d meant to say it softer than that, to maybe sugarcoat it a little bit. 

“You thought I hated you?” You don’t answer him this time, merely shrugging and looking down and tracing the grain pattern of the bar. “I could never hate you.”

He says it so harshly you feel as though you’re being scolded, and it only makes you shrink further in on yourself. He notices your shift and softens. He comes around your side of the bar, needing to be close to you, to feel your warmth again. You allow him to approach you, and when you don’t shy away from him, he feels a part of him that has been asleep for three years reawaken. He is filled with a sort of warmth that he never thought he’d feel again as he reaches up to cup your face, speaking softly, “Sweetheart, I could never hate you. Never in a million years could I hate you.” He brushes his thumb over your cheek, and he may be imagining it, but he thinks he feels you press your face into his hand. You close your eyes, but he has more to say.

“Y/N, listen to me. We’ve been through too much for me to ever hate you. I’ve seen you at your absolute worst and I still wanted you so bad it hurt.”

You pull away from his touch, and he feels cold again.

“That was before I left,” You say, almost as if you’re ashamed of yourself.

“That’s true. Even after that, though. I never hated you. Not for a second.” “Don’t lie to me Joel,” you almost whimper, and you shut your eyes in embarrassment at letting your voice crack.

“I’m not lying to you. Sure, I was pissed. Heartbroken, even. I thought you and Tommy were idiots for leaving, but there’s no way in hell I ever hated you for it.”

You give a non-commital shrug, still avoiding eye contact with him, “sure,” you eventually mumble.

“I’m telling you the truth. I have to reason to lie to you.”

“To spare my feelings, maybe.” You say softly, now fidgeting with your fingers.

“When have I ever done that?”

This makes you chuckle quietly, and he’s filled with a sort of pride that warms him from the inside out. There’s my girl, he finds himself thinking. Your laugh and your smile fades, and with it, that fuzzy feeling in Joel’s chest. 

“You should hate me.” You finally say. 

“I know,” he says, reaching up to touch you again. This time, he reaches for your hair, pushing a lock of it from your face, “But I can’t bring myself to.”

It's quiet for a few moments before you speak again, “I thought I hated you.” Joel’s hand drops from your face.

“What?” He tries to keep the fear out of his voice, and from your lack of reaction, he hopes that he’s succeeded. 

“I thought I hated you because you let me leave so easily. I thought you’d just decided you didn’t need me anymore. That I wasn’t worth fighting for. That was stupid, I realize that now. But I wrote some pretty bitter things about you in my journal.”

Joel’s hand moves back up to your face, this time to brush away the tears that had fallen down your cheeks, “I could never not need you.”

You shake your head, moving out of his grip again. “You did just fine for more than a decade without me.”

“Maybe I just didn’t realize how alone I was.”

This makes you laugh again, but not in a way that fills Joel with warmth. It’s bitter, doubtful, and angry.

“I could show you,” he starts again, moving back into your personal space, “if you’d let me. I could show you how much you meant to me. How much you still mean to me.”

“I don’t…” you start, but he doesn’t let you finish.

“If you’d let me, I’d spend the rest of my life showing you how much you mean to me.”

“Joel…” you start again, but this time you let yourself trail off, not knowing what you were going to say, just knowing that you should probably say something.

“Please sugar,” he starts again, placing his hands softly on your shoulders. You don’t move any closer, but you also don’t move away, so Joel keeps going, “You said it yourself. There’s still a small part of you that loves me, even if you probably shouldn’t.”

You mumble something to yourself, something Joel couldn’t make out. He reaches up to move your face towards him, to force you to look at him. You obey his silent request, looking up and into his eyes that were somehow still so soft, even after all these years. 

“It’s not a small part of me, Joel,” you say again, speaking louder this time, “It was never a small fucking part. My whole being was devoted to you. It tore me apart to leave you. I was useless on the road. Once we were with the Fireflies, I threw myself into my work and my chores so that I didn’t have to think about the huge Joel-shaped piece that was missing from my heart. I hate myself for leaving, and I hate myself even more for not going back to Boston and fighting for you. I was a coward. I still am.”

By the time you’re finished talking, tears are streaming down your face. Joel is looking at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen, and it makes you want to curl into a ball and never speak to anyone again. He lets you cry for a moment before he responds.

“If you’re a coward, then I’m a coward too. I could have just as easily come looking for you.” “I never expected you to.” You squeak out, in between your sobs “And I never expected you to come back. That doesn’t mean I got over you leaving. I didn’t think I’d ever get over it. And I hadn’t, not until I saw you here.”

Once he finishes speaking, he finally pulls you into his chest and just lets you sob into him. He doesn’t know how long the two of you stand there, in that empty bar, with his arms wrapped around you, but what he does know is that he never wants to let you go. Eventually, your sobs fade to quiet sniffles and you shift in order to wrap your arms around his body. Even though the two of you are pressed against each other, the way you grab at him makes it seem as though you need him even closer. You mumble something into his chest that he can’t quite make out, so he pulls you away from him. You whine at the loss of his touch, but you quiet once you see how he looks at you.

“What was that, sweetheart?”

“I said I love you.” You sniffle, reaching up and wiping a tear from his face.

“I love you too, Y/N. God, do I love you.”

-

part two

[kkami-writes]

until the very end.

pairing. kim seungmin x gn!reader synopsis. At the end of the world, there’s truly no other group you’d rather be with than your friends. But as they drop dead, one by one, you can feel the threads of your sanity continue to snap and it’s only a matter of time before you actually go insane. Thankfully, Seungmin continues to be by your side until the very end of time. tags. zombie!au, apocalypse!au, ANGST, all hurt maybe a little bit of comfort

CW/TW. lots and LOTS of major character death, blood, gore, violence, guns, suicidal thoughts, suicide, vomit, murder, no explicit smut but implied/mentioned sex, dissociative moments, minsung + changlix if you squint, could be a "happy" ending, it really depends on how you see it tbh, kinda? graphic. please be warned ♡ word count. 8k wanna support me? buy me a ko-fi!

It’s uncertain whether you’d consider yourself lucky that you had been tucked in bed, comfy and deep asleep, when shit had hit the fan. That was the last time you had the luxury to be asleep long enough to even have a dream. You don’t even remember what you had dreamed about as you dragged yourself out of bed, yawning and wiping away the drowsiness from your eyes.

In fact, you were certain you were still dreaming when you stumbled upon the gruesome sight in your kitchen. There was blood splattered against the once pristine white marble and your mother was hovering over what had once been your father, surrounded by a pool of what you assumed was his own blood. She was too busy devouring his guts to even notice you standing there, obscene slurping noises echoing in your ears.

The stench hits you like a truck and you’re suddenly losing whatever is even in your stomach after having just woken up, acid burning at your throat. The movement is enough to disturb your mother (can you really call her that anymore?) as she turns to you with a deep, inhuman growl, face covered in the blood of your father with bits of him still clinging to her mouth. You fall over backwards as she lunges at you, fight or flight instincts kicking in. You shove your foot against her chest as hard as you can, trying to push her away from you.

Frantically, you look around trying to find anything to use as a weapon, desperation starting to sink in. You grab onto the nearby lamp, holding onto it like a bat. It’s the only thing you had as you swing, smashing it into your mothers head and the crack that follows is sickening. The bulb shatters but you don’t stop, continuing to use the unconventional weapon until you’re certain the monster is dead. It’s like you black out for a few moments and by the time you’re back in your body, your mother is unmoving, head caved in. Your breath is heavy, panting and on the verge of hyperventilating. But you can’t focus on that right now.

You’re reminded by the zombie movies you used to watch with your friends as you force your body towards the kitchen to grab a knife. With a swing, you lodge it straight into it’s head. You won’t make the mistake of having it come back to life and catching you off guard.

A numbness takes over your body, brain going into autopilot as you finally notice the constant vibration of your phone in your pocket. The boys have been blowing up your notifications, hundreds of unread messages in your group chat, several individual messages and a couple of voice mails. You can only register that they were going to meet up at Bangchan’s house as he mentioned his father collected guns, a good place for them to start.

With your limbs feeling like lead, you begin packing a small backpack filled with essentials and a few pairs of clothes. Your body moves on its own as if trying to remind you that you have to keep going, that your friends are probably still alive and waiting for you. It’s the only semblance of hope you have and the only thing stopping you from just ending it right now.

You’re thankful Bangchan doesn’t live too far from your house, just a few blocks away. The neighborhood seems empty, a stark contrast to the usually lively streets. Silence rings in your ears, white noise filling the blank spaces in your mind. When you reach his house there are cars haphazardly parked in front.

You come through the door, feeling like a zombie yourself and honestly you might look like one too with the large splatter of your mothers blood splayed across the front of your white shirt. You might have forgotten to change in your haze of trying to get out of your house as fast as possible. This doesn’t stop Jeongin from throwing himself into your embrace once he finally sees you. He’s in tears, clutching onto you tightly, body trembling against you. Your own arms come to wrap around him, the emotional dam you had been holding onto finally breaks, the two of you falling to the ground sobbing. You’re surprised you had held on for as long as you did.

The other boys didn’t disturb you, letting the two of you to have a moment to bask in each other's presence, knowing the other was safe. Your relationship with Jeongin was strictly platonic. The boy meant the world to you, he was like your precious little brother and he had looked up to you as a bigger sibling. Now that the world had gone to all hell, you knew the two of you would end up being heavily reliant on each other.

You’re unsure how long the two of you just stayed in a heap on the floor but it’s Seungmin’s hand on your back that brings you back to the grim reality you were able to forget about for just a second. He’s looking down at you fondly but theres still a sense of sadness deep in his irises. “Come on you two, Bangchan is calling a group meeting,” He helps pull you up to your feet, giving you a quick squeeze in his arms. A silent message that he’s glad you’re safe.

Eight people gathered into the family room, half of them on the floor while the rest of them tried to squish in on the couch together. You take the seat next to Seungmin, letting your head rest on Jeongin’s shoulder.

When Bangchan walks into the room, he places a few guns and boxes of ammo onto the table. It makes a few of the boys turn pale just looking at the weapons.

“So. For now, I think it’s best if we stay here. There’s enough food to last us at least a couple of days and then you guys can move on. I’d suggest somewhere close to a convenient or grocery store. Best not to stay in one though in case other people show up,” He makes a lot of sense, being on the move was probably the best bet, but with your decently large group of friends it would be a disaster. It would be in your best interest if you guys stayed in one place until you ran out of resources. Only then should you move.

“Wait. You said ‘you guys can move’ and not ‘we’ can move. Was that on purpose?” Minho, the ever observant one had mentioned, giving Bangchan his usual blank stare. You had barely even noticed the slight change in wording.

“It was. I can’t go with you guys,”

“What? Why not??” At this all the guys were suddenly talking over each other, a frequent occurrence but one that was certainly not helpful at this moment. Bangchan, being the eldest, had always been someone everyone looked up to, someone they had gone to for guidance. He had been like a pseudo leader of the group, without him you’d worry everything would fall apart.

Bangchan lets out a sigh before rolling up the sleeves of his shirt to show off the clear bite mark in his forearm, complete with teeth indentations and blood still dripping from the wound. The veins surrounding the bite were starting to turn black, slowly inching up his arm.

A few of them gasp while the others are deadly silent, the implication of what should happen next is not lost to anyone.

“What…What do we do?” Jisung questions, his voice is shaky and you can tell he’s on the verge of a panic attack. Honestly, you’re not far behind.

“Like I said, stay here for a few days until the food runs out. Then you move,”

“What are we supposed to do without you?” Hyunjin stresses the last word. Bangchan just let’s out another sigh.

“You’ll be fine. Eventually you guys were gonna have to stop leaning on me. That time has just come up a lot sooner than we thought,”

Another silence overtakes the group, no one saying a word. A few of them were already crying, knowing the fate that awaits Bangchan.

“I want to ask for one last thing though. I….don’t think I can do it myself. Please, I need one of you to do it,” His strong voice breaks for the first time. It’s what clues you in that he’s scared, something he doesn’t want to show to the others. Especially now.

Jisung and Felix shake their heads vehemently. The others shout ‘No’ and ‘No way’. The noise all blends together in your ears, everyone saying they wouldn’t do it, that they couldn’t do it.

So it surprises you when you stand up. Jeongin tries to pull on your arm to get you to sit back down. You don’t budge.

“I’ll do it,”

Suddenly everyone’s eyes are on you, some of them blatantly gaping at your declaration. Even Bangchan seems surprised that you had volunteered but he knows that if no one else would do it, he could put his trust in you.

“Are you sure?” He still asks. He needs you to be absolutely sure that you know what you’re agreeing to. Bangchan searches your eyes for any hesitance but doesn’t find any.

“If no one else will, I'll do it,” You nod your head determinedly and Bangchan relents. It might be fucked up, but you figured if you could kill your own mother, maybe you could kill one of your closest friends.

Everyone takes a moment to say goodbye, there’s not a dry eye in the room except for you. You do your best to stay strong, especially for the others but you can feel yourself slipping, eyes burning with unshed tears. When Bangchan starts vomiting up something black, eyes bloodshot and his pupils starting to fog over, you know it’s time. The two of you move to the backyard, no one else following. Just hearing the gun shot from the house would be enough to haunt their dreams.

You pick up a gun before following him, checking to see if the safety was off. While you had never handled a gun before, you’re basing things off of movies and TV shows you had watched. You’d definitely have to learn how to use one fast.

As you face Bangchan in the backyard, that’s when you finally start to cry. Throwing yourself into the older’s embrace. He clings to you tightly and you realize that this was the last time he’d ever give you a hug. One of his warm comforting hugs that used to make you feel safe. This one however, does nothing to calm the tidal wave of nerves running through you. When you pull away he can see your hands trembling, the weight of what you were about to do weighs heavily against your chest. It feels hard to breathe.

Bangchan leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You guys will be fine. I know you will,”

He closes his eyes, looking rather peaceful as you bring the gun to his forehead. You hesitate for a second, suddenly having second thoughts but you push them down. Bangchan had trusted you to do this and if it was the last thing you could do for him, you would. You squeeze your eyes shut, gritting your teeth as you force yourself to pull the trigger. The gunshot echoes in your ears as you hear his body hit the ground with a thump. You quickly turn away, unable to see the dead body of your friend.

Seungmin is there when you come back into the house, his eyes are dry but the tear stains on his cheeks give him away. Neither of you have to say anything before he scoops you up in an embrace. You’re still shaking softly, barely keeping a grip on your slipping sanity. Right now, Seungmin is the only thing keeping you grounded.

That night you and Jeongin curl up tightly together in bed. He never lets go of the fist full of your shirt, even as he falls asleep, scared that you might disappear on him as well.

There’s something else you realize that night while you lie awake, the unspoken implications of you being the one to kill your friend. You had suddenly become the leader of your ragtag group in the absence of Bangchan

It’s the middle of the night, only a few days since you had laid Bangchan to rest in the backyard of his childhood home. Sleep had been eluding you of late, dark circles finding a permanent residence under your eyes. The cup of tea you had made remains untouched on the table, probably cold now as you stare into the black space of the kitchen. A figure slips into the chair next to you and you don’t have to look up to know that it’s Seungmin.

While maybe not as close as you were with Jeongin, you and Seungmin still had a rather special bond. The two of you were similar, bad with words and feelings. Because of that the two of you could practically communicate with each other without having to say anything. You would seek comfort in each other when it was hard to do with anyone else.

He slips his hand in yours, fingers intertwining before giving you a soft squeeze. A silent way to reassure you that he was there for you.

Seungmin’s hands are large against yours. He’s warm and he feels like coming home when it feels like you’ve all but lost your way. It’s moments like these when you’re reminded just why you had fallen for the boy in the first place. Reluctantly you get up to leave, needing to get any rest that you can.

You found that sleep came easier after these late night meetings with Seungmin.

A month passes by quick and slowly, things get better. Every day is a step in the right direction and everyone settles into a routine that works. Though nothing explicitly has been said since that fateful day, it was obvious that the boys now looked to you for any guidance. You try your best to be a good leader and surprisingly you fall into the role easily, but you couldn’t deny that it was incredibly stressful. You felt much more respect for the older for having to deal with everyone for years.

You guys had continued to move, following Bangchan’s last advice, only staying in one place until all the food and supplies in the local area had been exhausted. Currently, you were on a supply run with Felix and Changbin, the rest of the boys back at the house going over your inventory. The three of you had stocked up on food and medical supplies, mostly medications with everyone constantly feeling sick with the amount of stress they were constantly under.

Somehow in the thirty minutes you had spent collecting supplies a horde had managed to form outside the store. They moved slow, effectively blocking your way out. Changbin let out a groan to which Felix hit the older in order to shush him. The male still managed to be loud even in the most dire of situations, but he was the best for these runs. He could carry the most with his muscles and with him wielding a bat with nails, it wasn’t hard for him to cave a couple zombies brains in.

You try to form a plan to get out relatively unscathed. There were too many to take out and using a gun was out of the question. The only way out of the horde, was to walk through them.

“Sorry lix, I think we’re gonna have to do the thing,”

Felix makes a face but reluctantly agrees. You don’t know how long the horde is going to linger and it’s best if you’re home before night falls, lest any of the boys go stir crazy that you haven’t returned.

You drag one of the dead bodies over to the other two, using a pocket knife to slit the belly of the corpse. It’s guts spill out and pool onto the floor and Felix can’t help the gag deep in his throat, the poor boy had never quite gotten used to the putrid smell of the dead. You pull the freckled boy down, moving to cover his face with what you guys had started calling zombie goo. Not exactly the most creative name, but the only thing your combined one brain cell could think of.

The smell had kept the zombies away, registering you as one of them. It was your least favorite thing to do, but it worked and it was your best bet right now.

You turn to do the same thing to Changbin while Felix continues to rub the remnants of the zombie all over his shirt and jeans. Your clothes would be ruined but it was worth it if you could get through the horde unscathed. Felix does your face for you, his tiny fingers decorating your cheeks with an unidentified fluid that you were completely fine never knowing.

The three of you make your way slowly through the horde, deadly silent in fear that the dead amongst you will figure out you’re not one of them. It’s nerve wracking, to be so close to the things that can kill you in one bite, turning you into one of them. You’re reminded of your vivid nightmares, ones where you turn into a zombie and end up eating your friends. You’d wake up with the taste of blood on your tongue but it was your own, having bitten your lip too hard in your sleep.

Pushing away those horrid nightmares from your brain, you instead think about who you’re going home to. Jeongin and Seungmin, the rest of the boys who are waiting for you to return. It’s the only thing that keeps you going, so you push forward no matter how hard it feels.

A scream pulls you out of your thoughts completely and your whole body goes cold. It terrifies you to even look behind you because you know that scream. There’s pure terror in their deep voice. You turn to see that Felix has been tripped by a stray zombie on the ground, its bony fingers wrapped around his ankle as it pulls the boy down onto the concrete with a loud slam. Felix is pulling desperately in an attempt to yank his foot out of the zombie’s grip but it’s too late, teeth sinking into his leg. Felix lets out another deafening scream. This time the horde stops and turns towards the blonde, now making their way to where they can smell fresh blood.

“No! No!” Felix cries become more desperate, calling out to you and Changbin. “Help! Help! Oh god. . .Fuck! No! Please!” Changbin is frozen next to you and soon you can no longer even see Felix, the zombies crowding around their new victim. The squelch of blood and flesh being torn echoes in your ears. You know you’ll hear it in your nightmares.

Felix doesn’t stop screaming, even as you can hear him starting to struggle with his words, choking on his own blood. He all but begs and pleads for his life, desperate words that mean nothing to the zombies that eat away at his body. You have to look away or at least do something to help. But you can’t. You’re paralyzed in your spot watching in horror as you listen to your friend die. Felix. Yongbok. The sunshine boy, who with a smile on his face told everyone everyday without fail that they were all still alive. That we were surviving. That things will be okay as long as we’re together.

And now he was dead.

Changbin takes one step forward and you wrap your hand around his wrist, trying to pull him back.

“Bin…He’s dead,” The words feel hard to get out, they still don’t feel real. Changbin only shakes his head at you, trying to wiggle out of your grip. “Changbin! It’s too late!” You beg the boy, tears starting to run down your cheeks. He yanks his arm out of your grasp before pushing his backpack into your hands. “What are you doing?” You want to scream at him, yell at him but your voice only comes out broken and cracked.

“I can’t. I won’t…I’m sorry. I won’t let him die alone,” It’s Changbin’s last words to you as you watch him willingly get swallowed by the horde.

The only thing you can do is watch in disbelief. And you hate it. How many times were you going to have to just stand there and watch your friends die? Helpless to be able to do anything. It was Changbin’s choice but you had let him do it, you had let him basically kill himself.

It takes everything in you to finally turn around and begin the trek back to the safe house. Your feet feel heavy as you drag yourself away from your two friends.

Changbin pushes his way through the zombies as they try to grab at him but he doesn’t even care, he just knows he has to get to Felix. Before he’s gone. When he finally reaches Felix he has to fight the urge to look away. His pretty blonde hair is matted with blood and his legs are completely torn into.

Somehow Felix is still alive, but just barely, as if holding on so he could see Changbin just one last time. His skin is pale, eyes completely unfocused and turning white in the zombification process. Changbin barely recognizes that the zombies are tearing into his back. He doesn’t care, not even screaming at the searing pain as he reaches out for Felix’s hand, grasping onto it tight. Felix is ice cold, fingers twitching one last time before going completely limp in Changbin’s hand.

Changbin sobs, watching the light disappear from Felix’s eyes. “…I’m here, yongbokkie. I’m here,”

Seungmin is the one who greets you when you walk through the door. It reminds you of the first day of the apocalypse, when you had made it to Bangchan’s house feeling less alive than usual.

“Jeez, you stink. Did you have to do the thing?” He questions teasingly but subtly looks you over for any injuries. At your silence the boy looks up to see red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. Seungmin calls out your name but you can barely hear him, Felix’s screams are still ringing in your ear. It isn’t until you feel his warm hands against your cheeks that you finally look at him, a concerned look swimming in his eyes.

“What happened?” That’s all it takes for you to break down, throwing yourself at the boy. Seungmin catches you and lowers you gently to the floor as you lean into his chest, sobbing. You shake your head vehemently, trying to deny the truth that you had seen with your eyes. Seungmin isn’t sure what to do, hands stroking softly at your back. Your loud cries alert everyone else and it doesn’t take long before they all come bounding into the entryway.

“…where’s Changbin and Felix?” The words are stuck in your throat, guilt weighing heavily against your chest, suffocating you.

It’s rather obvious of what has occurred. You coming home hysterical and without the other two, it’s not that hard to come to conclusions. Slowly the boys dissipate to grieve and process the news on their own but Seungmin doesn’t leave your side, even for a second. He lets you ruin the shirt he’s wearing with your wet tears and snot. Eventually Jeongin takes his spot and if possible you cling even harder to the younger boy.

You babble on about how it’s all your fault, how you should have at least tried to convince Changbin to not go. How maybe if you were in the back instead of the front, Felix would still be alive. Jeongin just holds you a little more tighter.

The rest of the night is a blur, vaguely remembering someone feeding you in order to get some semblance of food down your throat and the worlds hottest shower, all but burning your skin as some sort of punishment to yourself.

You’re tucked up in bed with Jeongin, a common occurrence as the two of you seek comfort in one another most nights. Usually it’s you who is doing the reassuring, petting Jeongin’s head and spewing empty promises that everything would be fine. Both of you knew it was lies but the words did their purpose.

Jeongin runs his fingers through your hair, helping to lull you to sleep. With heavy eyelids you give the boy one more glance before letting them fall shut. Exhaustion hits you all at once, both physically and mentally tired.

“Jeongin?” He hums. “You’ll never leave me right?” Your words are slightly slurred with sleep before you succumb to the temporary bliss of being unconscious. He glances over at you with sad eyes, running his thumb over your cheeks. They’re starting to sink in, the lack of a proper diet was starting to show - even on Jisung who has always had full cheeks.

A sigh falls from his lips before he leans in to presses a shaky kiss to your forehead. Jeongin doesn’t think he can keep this promise. No. He knows.

“I’m so sorry,”

You wake up to the sound of a gun shot.

It rattles you awake, heart threatening to rip right out of your chest. Your body moves on it’s own as you follow the noise down to the living room, pulse ringing in your ears and anxiety seeping into your veins. The loud sound of your footsteps against the stairs alert the boys who are already gathered around.

“Shit, get them away from here!” Hyunjin hisses and Minho is quick to try to push you back up the stairs. It only further annoys you, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Bro, what the fuck? What’s going on?” You growl, annoyed with the sudden secrecy from your friends. Sleep muddles your brain, swatting at Minho for him to get out of your way. You can see Seungmin on the couch, face buried in his hands. His shoulder shake and you can vaguely hear his quiet sobs. “Seriously, what is-“

Then you see the body and you’re pretty sure you can feel your heart physically breaking. Your knees buckle underneath you, sending you crashing to the ground.

Jeongin is laid across the ground, blood splattered across the carpet and a gun in his hand.

With shaky hands you reach out towards the boy, your fingers pressing to his pulse point. It’s useless, he’s dead but your brain refuses to believe it. Your hands move to cup his cheeks and the way his head lulls backwards in your hands makes you sick. Jeongin has already gone cold and all you wanna do is bundle him up in a blanket until he’s warm again. You pull his head to your chest. Blood continues to spill from the hole in his head but you don’t care, nor do you care that you’re getting his blood all over your clothes.

The boys are looking away from you, dealing with their own pain as you rock the lifeless body in your arms. Small broken whimpers fall from your lips and silent tears run down your cheeks. You want to all but scream, yell at the world for taking Jeongin away from you but your throat is too raw. It feels like you’ve sat here for hours just crying and clutching the boy to you, your eyes have long gone dry, completely bloodshot.

Something in you snaps, perhaps your sanity, as you drop Jeongin to the ground. The sound alerts the boys to your actions, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. When you make a lunge for the gun, various voices are screaming at you, all of them throwing themselves at you. Minho kicks the gun out of your hand as Hyunjin and Jisung push you to the ground. They don’t mean to be so rough with you but you’re clearly not in the right headspace, if they have to rough you up a little to get you to think straight, they’ll do it.

You fight against them, screaming and sobbing while trying to push Jisung off of you and grabbing at Hyunjin’s hair, the latter hissing at you. The three of you are all but wrestling on the floor, swearing at the two boys who are trying to subdue you. Your own voice rings in your ears, yet somehow you manage to hear Seungmin’s quiet call of your name.

His effect on you is immediate, stopping the attack against your friends before glancing up at the boy who has come closer to you. His voice is surprisingly even, nothing giving away to the turmoil in his heart. Jisung and Hyunjin pull away from you when they notice that you seem to have calmed down for now, watching the other boy intensely.

Seungmin replaces them as he comes to kneel in front of you, bringing his large hands to cup at your smaller face.

“Please…” Seungmin begs, his voice finally breaking “Don’t. You- You can’t leave me too, okay? I need you,” It’s the way he emphasizes the word need that has your attention.

The other three can see that the two of you need a moment, they move to lift Jeongin’s body and carries him out to the back to be properly buried. Minho doesn’t forget to take the gun with him, lest you decide to try again to follow your best friend.

You sniffle pathetically as you glance into Seungmin’s pretty eyes, which are practically baring his soul to you. You have to look away from his gaze, head shaking softly and hands coming to grab at his shirt.

“Why?” Your voice is croaks, hoarse from screaming. “Why? Why? Why?” You repeat over and over again, almost like a mantra. It’s the only thing in your head. Why would anyone ever need you? Especially someone like Seungmin.

“Because I love you,”

He says it so simply and your head snaps up so fast that Seungmin worries that you might have given yourself whiplash. Your eyes search his, trying to find any trace of a lie but you know that you won’t find one. Seungmin has never lied to you. He can see the small sparkle in your eyes, the sliver of hope you carry.

“You know that right? That I love you?” He murmurs as he comes impossibly closer, noses touching and you can feel his warm breath against your chapped lips.

You let out a shaky exhale. “You…You do?” Your voice is no higher than a whisper, as if you spoke it louder it wouldn’t be true. He lets out a soft huff of laughter. You had always adored his laugh, especially the evil laugh he would let out when he was being a menace. It was one of your favorite things about him. The other being his smile, even when he had braces. He had found them dorky and ugly, but you just thought he had looked just as handsome with the metal.

Seungmin tucks some hair behind your ears, looking down at you fondly. “I do. So much,” He leans in just an inch so he can finally press his lips to yours. It’s just a quick peck, both of your lips are far to dry to have an enjoyable kiss at the moment, but he couldn’t hold back anymore.

When he pulls back he notices that you’ve shed a few more tears and he can only hope that they’re happy ones, even with your current situation. He wipes them away with his thumb.

“Minnie,” He hums in response. “Promise me. Promise me right now that you will never leave my side,” Your tone has an edge of desperation to it. Even if it’s impossible you need to hear him say it. Even if he has to lie to you for the first time.

Seungmin leans in to press a kiss to your forehead before keeping them pressed together. “I promise. It’s you and me. Until the very end,”

After spending a few more moments together the two of you finally make your way towards the backyard. Jeongin looks peaceful inside the hole Minho had dug for him, hands held together with some flowers you assume Hyunjin had picked for him. It’s the only consolation you have - Jeongin is no longer in pain, he’s in a much better place now. He’s with his hyungs.

They would take care of him now.

You have to look away as they begin to fill the hole with dirt, burying your face into Seungmin’s chest. You can’t bear to watch, the finalization that your best friend is not coming back.

Jeongin is gone.

And he took half of your heart and the broken strings of your sanity with him.

When you walk into the kitchen the next morning, clad in only Seungmin’s shirt, both Jisung and Hyunjin give you identical smirks behind their cup of coffee. You roll your eyes at dumb and dumber, flipping them off as you grab your own serving of caffeine. Your reaction only spurs them on as they giggle manically.

“God you two are annoying,”

“Yeah and you’re loud,” Hyunjin snickers and Jisung has the audacity to laugh. Your cheeks turn red as you clear your throat, trying to look like their words had no effect on you.

“You’re one to talk Jisung, pretty sure you woke up everyone that one night,” You quip back and the boy practically chokes on his drink. Hyunjin wacks him on the back, now giggling at the expense of the other.

“The point is. We’re happy for you. It’s about damn time. Can’t believe it took the literal end of the world though,”

“Yeah, I thought I was gonna die with all this mutual pinning and constant heart eyes,”

You roll your eyes again at their antics but your smile gives away just how fond of them you are and even if they’re annoying you’re happy to know that they’re happy for you. Except for when Seungmin waddles into the kitchen half asleep and no shirt on, coming over to you to lean his whole body weight on you. Your cheeks flare up once again and it makes the two boys holler at your reaction. Both you and Seungmin flip them off.

“Ugh, actually I take it back. This is a bad idea, you two are basically the same,”

Seungmin lets out a soft laugh before pressing a kiss to your temple, finally moving off you to make a cup of coffee. You simply observe him, watching as he swipes at Jisung for probably saying something stupid and Hyunjin’s high pitched laugh echoes in the room. A smile graces your lips.

It’s for just a moment that you think that everything is going to be ok.

Of course, the world loves proving you wrong.

A week goes by without any bumps, things falling back into place slowly after Jeongin’s death. Seungmin can’t quite explain it but something still feels wrong, this nagging feeling in the back of his brain. On more than one occasion he’d find you in the bedroom you two shared now, sitting on the edge and just staring at the wall, eyes glassed over. It was like you were a million miles away. You couldn’t even hear him when he’d call out your name several times until he has to shake you back into your body.

Every single time you’d tell him you were ok, just tired but Seungmin didn’t believe you. If he’s honest, he’s scared. He can’t help but feel like he’s losing you even when you’re right in front of him. Something dark is trying to take you away from him, but he’ll be damned if he lets that happen.

Things get worse though.

Tensions have been running high. You easily snap at the smallest things, the slightest inconvenience sends you reeling. Seungmin is the only one who can calm you down, the boys practically avoiding you when you’re about to blow. On days like this he feels like his grip on you slips even more.

Not only that but Jisung and Hyunjin have been at each others throats nonstop. It reminds you of freshman year of high school, when the two boys could not get along, constantly bickering and fighting. It had nearly torn your friend group apart.

So you’re not surprised to come back home from a quick supply run with Seungmin to a yelling match between the two of them. Dumb insults are being thrown around and you are sure that there is an even dumber reason as to why they were fighting.

Minho is off to the side, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose and his eyes squeezed shut. You can tell the older is so done with the two of them, having probably already tried to stop them but had all but given up.

The two are in each others faces, guns waving around in an unsafe manner as they practically spit in each others faces.

“What the fuck is going on,” You cut them off, your voice piercing. You want to make it clear that you are not in the mood to deal with this.

“Fuck you Han Jisung,” They ignore you, continuing their fight as if you had never even entered the room.

“You’d like to wouldn’t you? Is that why you’re always trying to pick a fight? This isn’t how you get someone in bed with you Hwang Hyunjin,”

Hyunjin’s nostrils flare as he pushes Jisung back harshly. You’re starting to get real annoyed at their childish fight. They were being so loud you wouldn’t be surprised if zombies started showing up at their ruckus. You’re about to tell them to cut it out before a gunshot rings out, startling everyone in the room. You flinch and instinctively duck at the sound. Seungmin quickly throws himself over to you, hugging your frame to his body in order to shield you.

But when you look up it’s not you who has been shot. Hyunjin is still standing somehow, a hand pressing to his neck but it does nothing to stop his blood from spurting from the wound. His eyes are blown wide in shock, staring at Jisung in disbelief. The latter has already dropped the gun, having gone white as a sheet, his hands trembling.

Hyunjin seems to be trying to say something but the only thing coming out is gurgles and broken words, but you’re pretty sure everyone can hear the strained ‘Jisung’ that slips from his blood stained lips. It doesn’t take long before his strength leaves his body, falling to the ground, dead.

The room is deadly silent in the aftermath. No one moves a single inch.

“I’m- oh my god. Fuck I. I thought the safety was on. I didn’t. I didn’t think. I- Oh my god,” Jisung beings to ramble, his voice wavering in disbelief at what has just happened. He’s on the verge of a panic attack or a mental break down. Minho attempts to reach out to him to try and comfort him but Jisung simply slaps his hand away, scared that he might kill the older on accident too.

You make your way over to Jisung, no emotion showing on your face, nothing to give away what exactly is going on in your mind. In fact, there’s only one thing on your mind when you pull the gun out from your holster, pushing it into Jisung’s temple.

His eyes go wide, shaking his head as he pleads for his life. “Wait. No. You can’t be s-serious! It was an accident! I didn’t. I did-“ You don’t have time to hear his excuses. Your friend is dead on the floor over some arbitrary argument. In your jumbled mind, this is the only thing that makes sense.

You pull the trigger.

Jisung flops dead next to Hyunjin and the next thing your brain registers is Minho slapping the gun out of your hand. It feels oddly like deja vu and you’re brought back to the vivid memories of Jeongin’s death. Minho’s fingers are curled into the collar of your shirt, rage overtaking his features.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU,” He shakes you rather violently in his grasp. You still haven’t shown a single emotion on your face.

“Hm? What do you mean? Jisung killed Hyunjin, so therefore we should put Jisung down. Isn’t that only fair?”

“Fair? Do you fucking hear yourself? You just killed Jisung for no reason!”

“And didn’t Jisung just kill Hyunjin for no reason?”

“So what? We just go around killing friends if they make a mistake?”

“A mistake that cost another one of our friends lives,”

“So what you’re saying is that we should have put a bullet in your brain the moment you didn’t come back home with Felix and Changbin?” Your eyes narrow dangerously, snarling at the male in front of you.

“How was that my fucking fault? Felix was tripped by a zombie and Changbin went back after him. That was HIS choice. You can’t blame me for that” Minho looks like he’s seconds from strangling you. So you make it worse, something you were good at. “what are you so fucking mad for? Upset you can’t get your dick wet anymore?”

Minho slaps you straight across the face. You know you deserve it.

“Fuck you, you crazy fucking bitch,” Minho spits in your face before pushing you back, stomping away.

Even though he had hit you with as much strength as he could, you can barely feel where he had struck you. Your body is all too numb to register anything.

Seungmin has been eerily quiet this whole time, not saying anything until he comes over to you, wrapping his arms around your middle to pull you flush to his chest. Your head falls back onto his shoulder, staring at the white ceiling.

“Do you think I’m crazy Min?” Your voice is quiet, a distinct tiredness laced under your words.

“You did what you had to do love,” He mutters, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You both know he didn’t answer the question.

It doesn’t even surprise you when you find Minho gone the next day, half of your supplies missing. You can’t find it in you to even care, he could have taken everything if he really wanted to. You’re sat on the edge of the bed with Seungmin beside you, your eyes foggy as you stare at the white wall. He’s got your hand in his lap, thumb tracing over your knuckles.

Seungmin can no longer ignore the fact that the person he had fallen in love with was gone. Lost somewhere inside the recesses of your brain, tangled in the strings of your sanity. Still, Seungmin is so deeply and irrevocably in love with you. That would never change. No matter how far you fall, he’d be there to pick you up.

Besides, he knows it’s not your fault. You’ve been pushed too far, past the point of no return.

You know it too. How many times have you told Seungmin to just leave? That there was no way he could be in love with the person you had become. Seungmin would be better off by himself, far away from you. But he’d just hold you a little tighter, run a hand through your hair and whisper how much he loved you. The two of you would spend hours like this, wrapped up in each other, trying to pretend the world outside didn’t exist anymore.

In the end you didn’t really want him to leave. You were too selfish. You need Seungmin.

And he needs you just as much. Which is why he easily agrees to your little plan.

The two of you find yourselves on the roof of the nearest tallest building, standing mere inches away from the ledge. You watch as the sun sets, an orange red glowing in the sky. Had you not known the earth was all but doomed, you’d find it beautiful. Especially for your last moments.

You turn to face Seungmin, only to find he’s already looking at you, that adoring look in his eyes. It makes you wonder how he can still look at you like that, when you’re making him do something like this.

“Are you sure?” You ask, voice rough. Though if you were honest, everything about you was rough now. Tangled hair, sunken in cheekbones and permanent dark circles under your eyes. The clothes around your frame were baggy from how much weight you had lost since this all started. Seungmin still finds you beautiful.

He comes over to slide his palm against your jaw and you lean instinctively into his warm touch. It amazes you that his simple touch could bring you so much comfort.

“Of course,” And he says it with such conviction that you don’t argue. You’re far too tired to argue anyways. As selfish as it is, you don’t think you could do it without Seungmin anyway.

Seungmin’s watching you intently, stroking your cheeks. He knows how tired you are, how much pain you’re in, to the point where you just want everything to stop. You’ve suffered so much, the burden of being their leader was too heavy for you alone to carry. Despite the circumstances, Seungmin thinks you had been a good leader, you had done the best you could. You had sacrificed everything for them, including your sanity. Seungmin is proud of you. He always would be.

All Seungmin wants is for you to be happy. He’d give you the whole world if it hadn’t gone to utter shit.

So if this is what you need? If this is what it takes for you to finally be at peace? Then he’ll do it. He’d do anything for you.

Seungmin pulls your face forward, slotting his lips against yours. You wrap your arms around him, letting your head tilt to deepen the embrace, making sure he can feel all the love you have for him pouring into him. Until it seeps into his bones. Because you know. You both know that it’s your last.

Seungmin had made love to you earlier, after the two of you agreed on the plan. You both had needed it, wanted it. It was just another last thing you two would do together. The way he held you afterwards had made you cry, how he held you like you were the most precious thing to him in the world. It had made you feel guilty, that you just couldn’t bring yourself to continue going on. Seungmin knew, and he could never be so selfish to make you go on when you simply couldn’t.

Besides, he was selfish himself. Seungmin doesn’t think he can bear watching you further lose yourself to the darkness.

The two of you pull away and you slide your hand into his. He gives your conjoined hands a gentle squeeze. Even now he’s still reassuring you. The two of you step up on the edge, the sun having just fallen over the horizon.

Seungmin feels oddly at peace, standing here with you. At least he was putting his fate into his own hands and there was no one he’d rather be with then you in this moment.

Because at the end, it was Seungmin who had stayed with you. Who had promised you forever and Seungmin has never lied to you.

“Minnie?”

He hums in response.

“I love you,”

“I love you too. Until the very end,”

Both of you lean forward.

[tourettesdog]

I’m replaying Stray and it got me thinking of a DPxStray crossover

Like taking the core themes and setting of Stray, but mashing DP vibes, characters, and ghostliness into it.

Warning: Stray spoilers

So with Stray the whole thing is that it's been hundreds of years in an underground city, all of the humans have died off, and in their place the robots they had as workers have gained sentience and filled the niches people left behind. You, as the little kitty cat, find the last human whose consciousness has been uploaded into a drone that you carry around in your little backpack-- together you're trying to open up the underground city and get to the outside.

So in terms of a crossover, I'd imagine that the construction of the ghost portal and resulting war with the GIW has a disastrous effect on the world. The surface slowly grows less and less habitable, long years of war that are never-ending. During this time, the Fentons get roped into a project to help build an underground city with a ghost shield-- a last bastion for humanity. It's the least they can do, considering the harm their research caused.

Danny's accident still happened in this scenario, he still fought as Phantom, but he was grievously injured and reverted into his badly-cracked core. His parents think he's long gone, while Jazz holds onto it and keeps him safe, not knowing if he'll ever reform.

Decades pass and the Fentons eventually move into the underground city they helped make. They live in disgrace, knowing they caused the turmoil that tore apart the surface and caused the death of their son. They try to make amends by lending their minds and hands to the city. When illness ravages the city, they die with regrets.

When Jazz knows her own time is drawing near, she does what she can to keep Danny's core safe as her last act.

She's watched one of the smaller cracks on his core disappear over her lifetime, but Jazz knows she won't live to see her brother made whole again. Sometimes she can sort of get a sense of him flickering around his core. Feel his emotions. Know he's still there.

Jazz finds some old tech that her parents squirreled away-- even with their many regrets, they were always proud of their research. With it, she builds a container to keep Danny in with filtered ectoplasm, hoping that it will be enough. That someday he'll come back, and that he won't be too upset she's left him behind.

Danny grows stronger over the years, his energy feeding into the technology around him. His (electric) core feeds on it as much as the filtered ectoplasm, and he finds comfort in exploring the network-- the only sense of freedom he's had in a long time.

Hundreds of years later, a little ginger cat finds its way into an underground city. The screens and tech act oddly, guiding the little cat to the backroom of an old apartment where a bright stone floats in a green canister. The cat can feel emotions and thoughts coming off of the thing. It's urged by more than instinct to knock over the container and free the stone inside.

The spectral being that floats out from the stone startles the cat at first, but then the being greets the cat gently and strokes it with a hand that hardly ghosts through the tips of its fur. A friend.

Danny doesn't really know how many years he's spent in this container. His memories are a jumbled mess, his senses addled. He feels like he remembers someone telling him that he needed to survive-- to find his way back out to the surface.

However long Danny's been healing, however, it's still not enough to maintain a fully corporeal body. He's tethered to his core, only able to project his shape for short periods of time before he has to retreat back into it.

He knows he needs to get to the surface to find a steadier source of pure, fresh ectoplasm to help him.

Danny's not really sure if he should trust a cat with what is essentially his head, heart, and soul, but... he doesn't have much of a choice.

In terms of the robots with the crossover, I feel like they could either exist as-is, or they could also be ghostly in nature. Like maybe the people that passed away in the underground city still linger, their ectoplasm imbibing into the circuitry of the robots. I imagine the mass death of the residents in the city could have created a lot of blob ghosts, and that over time maybe those blob ghosts latched onto the robots and became something more substantial. 

In terms of the zurks, I imagine that either the Fentons made one last massive mistake, or someone used some of their research (perhaps altering bacteria with ectoplasm) and it had disastrous consequences. 

[guckies]

Minecraft is not normal when you actually think of the mechanics, I was thinking about how qsmp members would carry their things if it was like fantasy mechanics and these are my thoughts so far:

Antoine, Bad and Mouse all use Pocket dimensions because the image of antoine taking out a multiple pics of cucuruchos ass trying to find the right photo is peak comedy

Quackity walks around carrying more things than he needs that occasionally fall out of his hands.

Baghera has a magical satchel because she is the It girl of the server like come on the feds are obliviously obsessed with her

Forever also has a magical backpack but that’s just because he’s the president…

Tubbo has a multitude of backpacks he switches out when they get too full

Pierre has a backpack full of necessities hidden in his most visited places so he’s always prepared but is never actively seen with a backpack

Foolish, Fit and Pac have big rucksacks with all there essential items they need although Pac also carries a small satchel of chemicals because we believe in Scientist Pac supremacy

Mike has a tool box he takes everywhere although you can see him just hauling boxes in and out of the tazercraft train sometimes

Felps has tool belt with two unenchanted pickaxes and torches

Philza he only has two and those are the ones he carries because he barely leaves him home all the other 30 million backpacks are left in a corner until he needs them

Pol has a singular bag but has a big go pro chest like harness for his cameras

Etoiles… how does he fight when carrying the weight of the world on his back… we’ll never know… but that one backpack looks like its about to burst like bro go put things away!!!

Mariana has two birkin bags.

Slimecicle… he just stores it in his body unless he uses the one heavily decorated bag the kids gave him that he always carries

Missa has a tool bet with just some random things like sand in them also it might be magical but no one is really sure least of all Missa

Cellbit’s back is hurting… someone tell him to put some backpack away..

Roier carries two backpacks and a Fanny pack for his peter parker photography moments

Willy wears like an army vest full of wires to make mines but also has a gym bag that everyone’s very weary about

Vegetta. I struggle to ever know how he gets half his things so… BOOM! It’s magic connected to his chests at home…

I definitely haven’t done them all so feel free to add more :]

[thewisemankey]

Completing the Path to the Yellow Dragon: A Report on RTX Austin 2023

What's got the voice cast of Team RWBY acting up in a tizzy? Find out the answer and more under the cut!

Preface:

So anyone who knows me, knows that I'm heavily into RWBY by Rooster Teeth. And as such I have an emotional attachment to the show and its' characters, especially Yang Xiao Long. So much so that Volume 3 definitely affected my emotional and mental health when Yang lost her arm to the bull bastard. If you can recall how I tried to cope with that.

But with that particular chapter long behind us all, there came a point where I made it a personal goal to meet the main cast of RWBY, whether individually or one at a time. An opportunity arose when Tampa Bay Comic-Con announced Barbara Dunkelman was going to be in town that year for it. All things considered, she's the one I wanted to meet the most. UNFORTUNATELY that year happened to be 2020. And you know when happened then. So it didn't happen for all the obvious reasons.

The following year, I made another attempt to meet all four of them when Florida Supercon announced them as guests in Miami. Which worked out on certain fronts since both my dad and my uncle live there. But once I had already purchased my ticket, they all ended up pulling out. And there was no refunds. So I basically wasted money and begrudgingly attended the con, knowing all I could do was basically just bumblescrewing around. Especially considering they didn't announce any GOOD replacements for them. At this rate, all I could settle for were video chats with Barb, (And at one point Barb AND Arryn) so that they would at least know my name and my face.

Another year passed to 2022, and to my utter disappointment, neither TBCC nor Florida Supercon ever bothered to make good and attempt to bring any of them back. So with my trust gone from local cons, it was then that I decided what needed to be done. After taking care of other business with Wrestlecon in Dallas, I would instead go directly to them at RTX the next year knowing they're consummate guests who can't pull out from there since they all practically LIVE and work there with Rooster Teeth. Because it became more important to me than ever to meet them all, especially Barbara, to make myself feel spiritually whole.

And so began my Path to the Yellow Dragon.

Day 1: Discounts at Diner Bar and The Grey Market? HAHA, BET.

Waking up to the sound of "Dangerous Dreams" by LeBrock, I made the early morning flight to Austin with more baggage than I had ever packed before and a new backpack to carry lots of necessities with me.

Arriving at the Fairmont hotel, I unpacked and settled in as quickly as possible. I was surprised to find I had my own bathrobe! So I decided to get my Damien Sandow on:

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After taking time to relax, I made my way to the Austin Convention Center for what was dubbed "First Night." Which was essentially their "Welcome to RTX" panel, which included the RTX 2023 theme song! (Said song ended up being "Higher" by Creed except with more Rooster Teeth centered lyrics, lol.)

After that, it was the various talent of Rooster Teeth, including Geoff Ramsey and Gus Sorola giving us the lowdown on the weekend events, not to mention making announcements for stuff like new episodes of Camp Camp and A Simple Walk 2. We were also treated to Face Jam recommending several local eateries for those of us not familiar with the area, as well as constantly reminding us of getting discounts from Diner Bar and The Grey Market with our RTX badges. While I didn't partake in those place, I DID scope out Via 313 pizza as a means of securing a dinner for the weekend, so good on them for telling us about THAT place.

Not much else after that, so I packed it in, grabbed some room service for dinner, played a bit of Tears of the Kingdom before calling it a night.

Day 2: A Perfect 10 out of 9

With the OFFICIAL first day upon me, I made it a personal mission to make sure my attire was repping Team RWBY throughout the weekend. So combined with my camos, it came out something like this:

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There was definitely more of certain colors than the others, but let's be honest, with how many people were out there wearing similar colors after Volume 9, would it matter? XD

Regardless, since I had a Platinum badge, I was allowed one-hour early access to their main hall! And they had PLENTY to do inside of it! Including...

Achievement Hunter Golf and other games of skill!

The F*ck Face Exhibit!

The Face Jam Rat & Grackle Pub! (My finger slipped in the shot there, whoops.)

And then there was the 20 Years of Rooster Teeth Museum!

T'was full of different props and signed stuff. Some that were off limits, and others you could interact with. Like sitting on the Always Open Couch, or even pose with a replica of the Crescent Rose! Since that was the case:

I took the opportunity to practice Kozuki Oden Two-Sword style! Although Crescent Rose is definitely a LOT heavier than it looks.

Then there was the All Good No Worries Park!

Just a simple place to sit back, relax, play a few yard games, and even scribble messages on the completely free spaced walls that was in the center. Having THAT kinda freedom, I decided to Gol D. Roger it up:

Suffice to say, there was PLENTY of fun to be had. But aside from awaiting for the Shop to open up, (which I couldn't immediately get because access wasn't allowed until Noon for those who didn't have the Ultra Badge) there was a VERY unique activity to do at the RT Animation Fan Zone...

The chance to speak with Ruby Rose herself! In VTuber form, Ruby appeared before us all for a "fireside chat" following her latest adventures. These happened in short sessions throughout the day, so I managed to attend two of them during the weekend. Here's some tidbits that happened while I was there.

-Despite how she acted towards them in Volume 9, Ruby IS very happy that Blake and Yang got together and very excitedly approves of their new relationship. She noted that it was very unlike Yang to dance around her feelings, so she was glad it all paid off in the end for them both. Good thing I asked THAT question!

-When asked what kind of Pokémon trainer she would be, she stated she'd have a mix of Grass and Flying-type Pokemon. And throw in a Pikachu.

-SOMEONE had the gall to ask if she had any loves in her life, (which got quite the reaction from the crowd, including myself who pointed my bat at that person and said "YOU WATCH YOUR BOUNDARIES, MISTER!") and her answer was she has only ONE love: Crescent Rose. XD

-On the subject of favorite food besides cookies, she said that she's always wanted to try pizza. Apparently it DOESN'T exist in Remnant which is a damn crying shame. Hopefully someone gets around to inventing it once Salem's permanently out of the picture...

-If she could swap her semblance with anyone else, she would switch with Yang, due to her being a little clumsy and running into things. So she would like to get a little stronger when THAT happens.

-While she's more familiar with DC Superheroes, someone asked who she likes from the Marvel side of things. To the delight of many of us, she said she'd like to meet Miles Morales since he wears red and black like her.

-Another person asked about if Zwei has any family, and she said he did come from a large litter. When things settle down for Remnant at large, she would like to find his family. (They'd probably have to go to space to find his big brother, lol.)

-Since I'm such a huge One Piece dork, I asked what kind of Devil Fruit she would like to eat. Apparently there's a similar story in Remnant called "Single Bit," and she ultimately chose the Gum-Gum Fruit. (Wonder if she knows about the truth behind THAT one...)

And in what was a surprise to us all, Neath Oum himself made an appearance! He asked a simple question how she felt coming back to Remnant. I took the opportunity to shake his hand, just as a sign of goodwill to him and his family.

Soon after that, it was time for the official RWBY panel!

We basically got news about merch, the V9 Soundtrack and home video release dates, thoughts and reactions about the recent season, and even got treated to a sneak peek at Volume 10! (Won't spoil it here, but someone did record and paste to YouTube, so have it that if you really wanna see it.)

Nicest part about this panel was all the free stuff they literally tossed out to the crowd before it started! I managed to snag some new swag in the process:

Having done all that, I packed it all in to eat, sleep, and get ready for the most important day of my life so far...

Day 3: The Good, The Elite, and The Bumbleby

After grabbing breakfast at a nearby iHop, I ventured once more to the convention center. After more random things, I first showed up for the life RWBY Grimm Campaign session, with Lindsay Jones guest playing as "Taco Cat!"

The mission was to find a hitman known as "The Bengal" in a nightclub. In true to life fashion, there were great rolls, and more then several mistakes and jokes being made. XD I clearly missed out on a lot with their previous experiences.

After that came the Death Battle panel!

This had it's share of crazy AI-generated Death Battle mad libs, a big Q&A session, and a preview of the oncoming fight between Darth Vader and Obito Uchiha. I took the opportunity to give a shout-out for having my friend @akumath on their team, and AGAIN reassuring them that they were right about Yang vs. Tifa, before asking if they'd do a Death Battle based off their DBX episodes. Since some of the results of those left me a little more than disappointed. But because I got chosen to ask a question, I was given a free Death Battle shirt!

Having done all that, the time finally came to achieve my ultimate goal for the weekend and personally meet the cast of RWBY. Definitely took a bit of patience on my part, as the line was understandably long, not to mention we were allowed only ONE item to have signed because they had to stick to a schedule. But eventually the time came for my turn to step before Lindsay, Kara, Arryn, and Barb. So I first gave them a proper greeting:

With whatever time I had to speak to all of them at once, I made sure to tell them all how much the show and their characters have meant to me over the years and are still special to me today. It wasn't easy, I got a little emotional doing so, making sure not to completely lose my composure in the process.

Having said as much as I could while they signed my poster, I made sure to inform them all about some gifts I had for them. Unfortunately I couldn't pass them off personally, but I made sure they all knew they were getting art prints of RWBY pics I commissioned previously. However, I had something SPECIAL in mind for Arryn specifically...

YOU CAN STOP SCROLLING NOW IF YOU SKIPPED EVERYTHING ELSE. XD

To explain, as someone who had been crushing on Yang ever since the day the Yellow trailer debuted, I wanted to symbolically and spiritually concede defeat in that Blake was always meant for Yang and not me. (Or my RWBY OC, rather.) And while technically I could hire people to write fics and draw pics of me getting down and dirty with them both, realistically I had to do the right thing for myself so I could wake up with a clear conscience going forward so that they know I fully support Bumbleby being canon.

That being said, I gifted Arryn with a special item that I dubbed "The Beekeper." And clearly it made quite an impression from the looks on their faces there. XD

What exactly IS "The Beekeeper," you ask? Well, I'm going to keep it as a surprise. Want to make it a "you had to be there" thing between me, them, and whatever witnesses happened to catch my special gift. I will however, reveal "The Beekeeper" if Arryn herself happens to show it off on her socials. Maybe it will help if the same pic gets more likes on IG? Until then...IT IS A MYSTERY.

After that, I got my prize shot!

Having done all that, I made sure before departing to have some personal words with Barbara. And left with my complete reward:

Having cleared another dream in my life, I retired for the night before flying back home.

Epilogue:

So here we are. Me having achieved another personal dream of mine, despite how many times I had to deal with the brick walls that were put up in front of me. And thanks to the shirt I ordered from the RT Store ahead of time combined with some purchases I made at the con, I even have a nice little Bumbleby collection going on:

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I don't want to sound TOO stereotypical for how I want to put a bow on this whole thing...but I might as well wing it as best I can:

If you want something bad, as 3 Live Kru once said: Do the damn thang. No matter how long it takes and what you gotta spend to get it, the payoff will ALWAYS be worth it in the end. And once you've done that, move onto the next goal with all the time you have in the world. You never know when it'll be your last.

This is Gregory Prytyka Jr. saying: Goodnight from the sunshine state.

[faun-the-fawn77]

New Short Story Idea?

Okay so when I finish the Rengoku fic in my drafts I kinda wanna start a mini(?) story of something that has been in my mind for a bit now.

I've been reading a lot, and I mean A LOT, of fanfics centered around isekai!reader x various and now I want to do something similar! Who doesn't love a modern girl falling into a world they love? This post will be the first of two. There will be a poll below so you can vote for what it asks!

Now, onto the plot(?) of the story.

We got modern girl waking up in new world. The part of the timeline? I kinda wanna start it near where the trio are at that mansion with drum demon. I'll have them wake up in the forest nearby and wander towards the noise. She's adventurous and the way she woke up into the KNY world is maybe she went out into the forest she normally goes and its an alice in wonderland situation where she falls into a hole and after falling for so long she passes out. She has a backpack that she usually takes with her so its got essentials. I haven't really come across any fics where the reader has like their phone or anything modern with them except for their outfit. I think it would be interesting if she had her phone and of course other modern things in her pack. Maybe food from her time, water bottle, battery pack with cords, polaroid camera(?), another set of clothes, and MAYBE a few of the KNY manga. It'd be cool if the art inside the books disappeared and were just blank? OR they stay the way they are and they show Amane who describes the scenes they open up to to Kagaya? And then he and his family is kind of the only people who know that she knows the future and he trusts her to let things take its course but she obviously will save the ones that she wants... cough cough rengoku cough cough... anyway!

it'll just follow the plot but with a new character from the modern world who spouts nonsense(Gen Z slang cause it would be funny seeing their confused faces when reader/oc starts dropping words like "rizz" and "gyat"). Maybe have that language barrier as well. Make reader/oc learn japanese(she'll only know the basics at first and definitely every curse word cause thats amazing). The few manga she has with her? Lets say she has volumes 18-20. Amane chooses the 20th volume to skim through.

Now, for the characters main characteristics(?) I guess. The obvious one being her breathing style. I would have gone with my main thing and choose ice but it's kind of generic cause i've seen quite a bit of fanfics with the reader/oc having that breath style. I kinda wanted to go with a more animal-like one like Obanai. He's the only one who has a style that's animal related and it would be amazing if we could get someone else who has an animal breath style. I actually might make three posts and have this one be about the breath styles to choose from.

Yeah, we're gonna do breath styles first so I can get an image of reader/oc's personality.

Poll below:)

I was gonna go for ten but I think these 8 are the most interesting to me. Dragon is actually calling to me but thats because I've been watching a lot of Game of Thrones...I'm actually putting it off because I've heard that the "Red Wedding" is the worst thing to ever witness and while I have not been spoiled for it, the reactions I have seen from people who were watching it for the first time made me scared but also insanely curious. If it really is bad then I feel prepared but that's because I'm going with it being as bad as me watching all three Human Centipede movies at a not appropriate age to watch said movies. That was off topic, I'm sorry.

Vote away! Next post will be to choose if you want it to be an "x reader" or an OC that I can create cause I love doing that and it makes me happy and gives me a chance to pick up my Apple Pen again.

The last poll will be the love interest(s). Do we want one or all? We will see>:)

[12pt-times-new-roman]

c3e51

This might be a shorter live-blogging post b/c I'm gonna try to focus on watching the episode more!

DDB watch: No sponsor!

This fucking coin and FCG's attitude towards it is legitimately starting to get on my nerves, lmao

Ira thinks the Malleus Key is missing a lens. Like the one the Bells Hells had that Ashton destroyed. So if Ludinus needed that, and Matt essentially planted it on the Bells Hells when they took it from Ira's machine, then it very well could have been a deus ex machina for Ludinus and the Vanguard, but Ashton destroyed it.

(I will say, related to that— it would be very cool and thematic if Ludinus was counting on the Bells Hells bringing that lens to him, because he can see the web of fate, and Ashton still destroyed it because they are so chaotic in nature that they are essentially impervious to that sight.)

FCG racial ability: They have a harmonious aeormaton ability that gives them advantage on checks made to identify or discern information about things they can see. It sounds like this is related to the ability that lets them cast identify once per day.

FCG connects their head wires to the arcane power core of the downed Warder, and they can control the thing like they're in Pacific Rim.

There are "trophies" lining the sides of the crater, hanging on spikes. There are some Judicator heads and a lot of holy symbols.

The excavated spire comes to about halfway up the crater. Dark iron plating surrounds it like armor, and residuum glows from its base. Four other smaller towers are angled toward the point. The dispel wave originates not from the spire or key, but from two devices along the base.

It seems like most of the people in the crater who are dressed in Ruby Vanguard robes are able to communicate telepathically. Which is kind of ominous! because telepathic communication is an inherent racial ability of kalashtars.

The four smaller spires are being filled with dunamis potions.

Otohan is here. Two vials are ejected from her backpack, and someone else installs another two.

Liliana is here too. She glides down from one of the catwalks and starts conversing with someone near the key.

It seems like each of these caverns off the main chamber house a cluster of arcane power sources, which tracks with Caleb and Beau's info that the Vanguard are adding more power sources and moving them into side chambers.

Entering in to one of them, they find a group of 5 guarding the power sources, and enter combat.

Members of the Paragon Call are forced to wear symbols of the Raven Queen as "part of their attire."

"Bad guys are still people. And you don't know why this person was here." Maybe that gets to the root of what separates the Bells Hells from the other main campaign parties. All of these people might've been on the other side of this fight, if the right conditions were met. The only difference between them and the people they're killing is circumstance.

Otohan enters the cavern with the Bells Hells.

And to break!

MORE random rolls from Liam and Marisha??

OH

As Otohan enters the chamber, Beau and Caleb detonate both of the machines that are producing the dispel wave. She runs, angrily, out of the chamber, back toward the key.

FCG falls in the airship. Ashton destroys the arcane power sources. So many things are happening at once.

Oh my god

the Mage-Hunter Golems look exactly like the ones in the Heirloom Sphere

AND LUDINUS IS HERE

Wearing "almost ceremonial garb, as opposed to armor." inbe4 Matt describes the Malleus Key activation as exactly like Ashton's visions of their father's ritual

Ryn might be shattered, Ludinus deactivates FCG's shell so they're just inside the automaton with no vision—

AAAAAA

Their stealth plan is fucked. Vanguard and Call operatives are swarming the key and the alcoves surrounding it.

However, their group deception check succeeds, so they're part of the fervor.

Everyone hears a singular voice. "Friends! Individuals who have come with us on this journey! Our timetable has been accelerated. Please, gather at the key." It's Otohan's voice. The Bells Hells hear this too, so they are currently — because of their successful deception checks — being considered as part of the Vanguard or the Call.

Caleb stands with the mage-hunter golem clasped around his neck. Beau walks down the ramp, with Liliana's hand extended toward her, controlling her.

"Thank you all for joining us. It seems we've had expected guests. Caleb, Beauregard — You have been thorns in all of our sides for quite some time. I think it's only fitting that I would give you front-row seats for what you've worked so hard to prevent." They are shacked and chained. "Someone, please, free our ornament." Ryn's right arm is broken off. "As I'm sure you all heard, we are working at an accelerated pace. A number of entities look to close, and I would hate to disappoint for the time being, so... [Green residuum veins light up the entire spire.] And it's taken many years of research to ensure that my appreciation for perfection can be rightly accomplished. [Armored sides of the spire shunt downward, exposing openings where dodecahedrons, rimmed in gold, are affixed.] Well, I guess it's time we brought it to us. [Energy charges into it, the device begins to flow, everyone feels themselves stop, you can't move, you can't breathe. The stars above, the storm, pass by. Hours go by in seconds, before the red moon is held aloft. All of you come back into place, and Ludinus' hand is somewhat withered and dark.] Very well."

MATT????

Combat.

Ludinus is on a platform above. Liliana floats above that platform. And there are many, many people.

A shadow obfuscates Ruidus before rapidly descending on Ludinus himself.

It's the Silver Sun! It descents at a rapid speed directly down into the tunnel, as Ludinus throws another hand up. A forcefield appears atop the key, and the airship impacts, killing dozens, dozens, dozens of the surrounding watchers, Paragon's Call, Vanguard members. No impact on the spire or the key itself.

We're in combat. There isn't gong to be too much lore during this.

But this is a doable fight. These people are not alone. They can free Caleb and Beau. The Ashari are on their way.

Ira survived. He's looking to find a different way to destroy the key.

Ludinus continues to speak. We're not in initiative yet. "The greatest lie ever told is that we need them. We are their gardens, their cattle. They created us to feed them with our faith, our hopes, our souls, lapping up their fables, giving them form, purpose, control... they did not give us this world, they took it from the Titans. Slew them in their home, and tilled its soil to harvest us for all eternity."

Ira survived. Xandis is nowhere to be seen, but Ira is trying to find another way to get to the key, to destroy it.

Ludinus speaks again. "But we, their special children, surpassed our masters. We questioned their games, we found our own will, our own power, our own drive to create that eclipsed their own. We unraveled their weave, and killed one of them, became one of them. Then, then, they feared us... The Calamity was not a tragedy, it was a punishment. Their war amounted to them little more than context, and we all suffered for our excellence. A genocidal admonishment for following our own will. They still fear us, hiding behind their gate, reaping our dreams as they deceive us to ceading our agency to their whims and squabbles. They should be afraid..."

"We're so split up." "That's a good thing, for AOE spells" travis no

Lilian reacts to Imogen's call. "Mama... mama. It doesn't have to be like this. [Where are you? I can't see you.] I love you. The better halves make a better whole. Please remember. [Imogen, I told you to run, I've been telling you to run. Why did you come here?] I wanna help you get free. It doesn't have to be like this. [It's the only way we can be free.] No. [We're seeds, you and me. Why do you think we have this power? Ruidusborn, exaltant, it's been building a bridge. We're the mooring.] This is all stuff he told you. How do you know he's telling the truth? [I just do.]"

A detonation off to the side. It was Ira. Liliana turns, looks — Ira begins to shift through the ruin, and as she puts a hand out, Liliana banishes Ira. (It was a bad dice roll. If Liliana keeps concentration for 1m, Ira stays gone.)

Ludinus continues to talk, to FCG. "You, you are not given life by any god, but my the hands of mortal creators like us. We are the new source of life, of creation. Stain my legacy all you wish; I have worked selflessly for a thousand years to find the means of shattering these chains of fate and oppression. Let me be your villain if it means liberation for all, and forever... born in you, chosen Ruidus-born. Seeds of Predathos' power. The burgeoning scions who now break these bonds, you have all gathered here for your true purpose... Everything scales, in the universe. Even ecosystems. Tonight, we unleash the natural predator of the gods. Tonight, the children inherit the world."

Ashton follows a beaten path, getting within about 10 feet of the key.

Faint mist emanates from all the Ruidus-born — including Imogen and Fearne.

A large boulder has slammed in from above as it begins to grow limbs, unravel, in the center. The Ashari have arrived — no. KEYLETH has arrived. "By the Voice of the Tempest, halt this." She casts mass cure wounds, and the Bells Hells, as well as a bunch of Ashari around, take 35hp of healing.

Ludinus looks down. "Right on time." He casts power word stun, and she's stunned to a round of Otohan's attacks. Now we roll initiative. But because Keyleth is in her earth elemental form, she essentially has a 120hp buffer between her and Otohan.

Otohan uses unleash incarnation, which is a 3rd level echo knight ability. And with an action surge, she takes down the elemental form. The backpack she has gives Otohan the echo knight abilities, but she's a psi-warrior by subclass.

"She goes for a heart strike. And where Otoahn's blade was, you see a mass of feathers... Standing over and protecting [Keyleth's] body, daggers in each hand. 'Don't you even dare.'"

VAXILDAN

Orym action surges against Otohan and gets a goading attack off. This battle is a mess and I can't keep track of it but I'm transcribing Ludinus and Liliana's dialogue as best I can. I'm slightly drunk but I'm TRYING OKAY

Liliana holds her action as she looks to Imogen. There's a chance here for her to flip sides.

Chetney leaps on to Ludinus' back. "You said something about... natural predators." His AC is 19, which Chetney hits — but he uses shield.

nat1 on Imogen's persuasion check against Liliana.

Ludinus speaks again. "And now, the final piece, The sliver of divinity. The lens... [Liliana casts a spell against the Champion of Ravens. He is condensed into a sphere of dark shadow. Just a sphere. Liliana places it into the empty spot in the machine.] And now... [The power isn't quite there.. explosions.] It'll have to do. It is time, my children. {other skyships begin to appear — Vasselheim and other forces, just as the red moon glows above. Every Ruidus-born in the chamber stands tall as red energy filters into the spire, drawn in, living batteries all pouring into the device as it rises and crackles, gathers, forms.] Let us destroy what will unmake them. [An incredible, thick beam of red energy fires into the sky, lights up and sets every cloud scattering, up towards the red moon. All the skyships crumble, blown away.] A thousand years. You couldn't stop me, you couldn't— it's too late. It's too late! [The nexus energy, the power of the leylines sparks and grows lighter, magical energy flows in all directions. The sky goes from pitch black to a multi-color explosion of arcane energy — into white. A familiar white.]"

Matt sits down.

The lights fade to white.

Images race — what happened? it is confusion, pain, fog, fugue.

Laudna. "You glance around, as your vision comes to. You see yourself sitting on the edge of a rocky cliff, the smell is sulfurous and acrid, acidic. Unfamiliar. You look around, and there are these pools of strange colored liquid under the night. An unfamiliar landscape — seems terrestrial. You look to your left, and you see Ashton, half-draped over this outcropping."

Ashton. "You see Laudna, you both see this chasm space below you. These little bits of natural geysers poofing steamy water. We won, we did it. Where are we? Where's everybody? You glance upwards, and 10 feet up."

Orym. You almost fall off the edge of this cliff, but you catch yourself. What is this? The Voice of the Tempest is nowhere to be seen.

The stars look familiar. No one else around. In some distance, just above the cloud line, the red moon, standing. A singular, solid red beam that vanishes below some far-off mountain line. They're in some kind of chasm, a valley.

FCG. "You hit something soft. It's the faintly dawn-like light cresting over some direction. You look around, and there's dust, but it's white, like fine crystal, like snow." They see no Catha, no Ruidus. Just dunes, white, crystalline. Rocky outcroppings, cliffside in the tundra, this snow-fallen desert. They see a snow-covered desert, cold air. To the east, a snow-capped mountain range, a snow-covered forest to the south. To the north, an ocean.

Fearne. Digging her way out of the snow by FCG. Chetney hears Fearne and FCG call out, as does Imogen. Chetney smells nothing of Laudna, Orym, or Ashton, but he knows where they are: the Crystal Sands Tundra, to the east of the Flotket Alps and Uthodurn.

"You split the party!" "Yeah!"

The party is split between two different parts of the planet. They still see the auroras in the sky, so the solstice isn't over yet. Laudna, FCG, Fearne, and Chetney are all in northern Wildemount, near Uthodurn; Ashton, Imogen, and Orym all seem to be in some other place, possibly near Kamordah (because of the geysers) or somewhere else with high levels of volcanic activity.

Travis hit the nail on the head. The Champion of Ravens was a required component of whatever Ludinus was doing, and Keyleth was the bait. There is no way they could've known Keyleth was coming, because the Bells Hells were the ones who called her in. She would not have been here without them. so Ludinus fucking KNOWS what's happening, he can see it all, he knows and this is all precisely to his plan. The key went off but it wasn't perfect, he was worried, concerned about the failing power sources — and the beam is still there, it's still boring. they all still have a chance to stop it.

[lastontheboatfics]

hello, if you're still doing director's commentary posts, could i get one on the spirit is willing (the flesh is weak) please? thank you! 🌿

OK SO

The first scene was the first thing I wrote once I gave in to the terribly compelling idea of Bill/Ginny fuck or die.

I remember noodling about the concept with @fluxweeed and saying something like "but what's the scenario? What forces them together?" Because I had the vibes, but I need Believable Motivation for my sibling incest stories, apparently. And as soon as the idea of a curse breaking misadventure and a sex spirit was proposed, my mind ran with it.

When I get excited about a story idea, it usually starts with a strong emotional inspiration. There's a moment that I can sort of see the shape of, and I want to get that feeling right. In this case, it was that moment of Bill trying to protect Ginny by giving in to the spirit's desires, and both of them thinking they need to hide what it means to them.

I have a superstition that if I write this scene before it's had a chance to marinate in my brain then I'll lose some essential, intangible element. What this means is that I start writing significantly earlier in the story, in order to help establish the baseline relationship and character arc starting points and all those other important things that will help reveal its true shape. It's a very "no dessert before your vegetables" attitude to writing. It's very frustrating!

However! Rather than feeling like a slog, starting with the opening scene energized me. It's the third time I've written a sex scene that's interrupted, and I love what it told me about Ginny in this fic—she's horny, adrift, and a bit messy. It made me want to figure out what Bill thought of her, beneath his laid back, amused outer shell.

I jumped around quite a bit after I finished that scene, working on whichever part I was interested in at any given moment. The whole plot element about the binding knives happened by accident—I was fumbling around, trying to figure out how to make the concept of "bill and ginny walk into a tomb" more interesting, when I remembered that I had made Bill toss a backpack onto Ginny in the opening scene. That made me wonder: what was in the backpack? Ginny was my proxy; I had no idea what she would find when she rooted through it.

In the bonus episode for The Bolthole, GallaPlacidia talks about how her plots emerge organically the more specific her writing becomes, because she just starts noticing patterns and connections and themes in the semi-random elements that she's introduced. That's what happened to me—I added a knife to the bag on a whim, because why not? Later, I realized that if Ginny had a knife, then Bill surely did too. Also, his knife could fail, which raised the stakes a bit. I now needed a reason that Ginny's knife wouldn't fail, which led me to the offerings and the stasis spell, and also provided a plausible motivation for Bill to get close to Ginny later when she's naked and vulnerable so he could slip her the knife (hurr hurr). All of that because I wanted something in the backpack that would take Ginny by surprise!

I do think the main setting suffers from Big Empty Room Syndrome. Like, it's this big hill they're inside, with a long tunnel entrance, and it's just... there's an altar? And offerings? And a plaque on the wall? One day I'll figure out how to actually describe environments in ways that make them sound interesting and believable.

The last thing that sticks out to me from the writing process is the scene where the spirit is torturing Ginny. My biggest difficulty there was my fear that I would undermine the mood for subsequent taboo sex. I don't find torture or pain particularly sexy (your mileage may vary), so choosing to tell a story where Bill is forced to take unthinkable action to stop Ginny from getting hurt was ambitious. I liked that she was exposing her desires to try and keep the spirit from hurting him, though; the symmetry makes my math brain happy.

I think that's it for the director's commentary! I am very fond of this fic, and it's the first one that I've recorded that I also wrote. Go ahead and give it a spin!

the spirit is willing (the flesh is weak)

Bill/Ginny, E, 15k

Read it :: Listen to it

[cafalla]

Dorothy, Volume 1 (2005) Scans - Chapters 3 & 4 + Bonus Covers // Part 3 of 3

Here is Part 3 of my Dorothy comic post!

Please refer to Part 1 for some background info about this book and its old website, and Part 2 for scans/story overview of Chapters 1 & 2!

In this post (Part 3), I'll cover Chapters 3 & 4 of the comic, completing the Volume 1 book.

Chapter 3 begins with Dorothy and To-2 aimlessly wandering around, unsure of which way they are supposed to go to get to the munchkin village. They stumble across the scarecrow shown at the end of Chapter 2.

Dorothy and the Scarecrow banter back and forth for a bit.

He's so creepy looking! But he is harmless. According to Dorothy, useless even.

Dorothy begins walking away, and she has quite a funny thought as she's leaving.

Dorothy and To-2 keep walking on, and stop at a beautiful blue river to drink and rest. Dorothy is so hungry that she contemplates eating a bug that looks like a ladybug with spider legs.

She takes a breather to collect herself, and realizes there is a cave located behind a waterfall. Dorothy and To-2 walk underneath the waterfall into a cave, video game style.

Exhausted, they curl up on the cave floor for a nap. Dorothy dreams of being a kid, and of Aunt Em giving her a little stuffed doll that used to belong to her father. Aunt Em calls the doll a Scarecrow, and says the doll can scare the bad dreams away. Dorothy muses on how the doll is nothing more than scraps at the bottom of her backpack now.

Dorothy awakes to a giant snake, who claims that she was sent to him as a sign, as prey for him to eat.

Dorothy tries to offer the snake the wrapper of a long gone Baby Ruth bar from her backpack.

Remember when I said there was foreshadowing earlier?

Well, when the snake isn't impressed with the empty candy wrapper, Dorothy remembers one thing she does have available to defend herself.

Dorothy manages to incapacitate the snake, and her and To-2 run out of the cave to safety. Unfortunately, Dorothy did get bit during this altercation, and the wound looks quite nasty.

Homegirl ain't looking so hot.

Good little To-2 helps lead Dorothy back to the Scarecrow, where she asks for him to accompany her.

It's quite sad and sweet really, considering we now know her comfort toy was a stuffed plush meant to be a scarecrow.

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Instead of starting with Chapter 4, there is a small interlude chapter that opens up with a man writing a letter. Essentially he states that he knows this is his last day in Oz, and that the one most dear to him is away and safe. He concludes with "Despite those who seek to choke that spirit, Oz never dies".

The man is then taken away by robots, but saved by...some guy who just wandered in?

This page is actually so funny to me.

The laser gun? His outfit? Him basically saying "Get down, Mr. President!!" His pose and expression in the bottom panel?

Either way, we learn that letter guy is a Lord of some sort. The Lord of Oz, perhaps?

We also learn our laser gun man is Malo, and that he was supposed to be with her, who we can only assume is the Lord's dearest person he hid away.

Oh no.

Oh god.

I've only just met you, and now you are gone.

Goodnight, sweet Prince. My favorite character, brought into my life and taken away from me in the span of a couple pages.

So yeah, Malo is killed by the robots, and the Lord is knocked unconscious by the robot army.

We then go back to Dorothy and company to start Chapter 4.

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Chapter 4 starts with Scarecrow on the ground. I'm assuming the Scarecrow is meant to be the Lord from the interlude, who we saw get knocked out and fall to the ground.

Dorothy is not looking good for wear, after her injury from the snake monster. Her and Scarecrow talk as they're on their way to the munchkin kingdom. We get a LOT of exposition about the war and the Wicked Witch and all that jazz, which honestly...I don't care too much about. So I'm skipping it LOL.

The crew make a fire and stop trekking for the night, and Dorothy wakes up feeling worse. Here is a page depicting how long and gangly Scarecrow looks.

Actually terrifying. Would never want to be approached by THAT in a dark alley.

However, he is harmless, and seems to care about Dorothy's dwindling health.

We cut back into the exposition story. Scarecrow had been describing a man as "the Fool", who is meant to be the Lord that was kidnapped by the robots.

He is brought before the Evil Queen. They go back and forth, and she sentences him to "the hallowing".

Which is not a good thing.

As the text says, he believed he would have been killed, and is surprised to find himself still alive. Weirdly enough, the man recognizes where he is, and pleads for his life with his interrogator.

He ends up tortured and beheaded. Don't worry, I won't show those panels, they're actually quite graphic.

While he is recounting this story, Scarecrow begins to see flashes of the man's life, and begins questioning himself.

Scarecrow recalls being shown the head of the man by his "maker" (the interrogator/torturer), and is told that he (the Scarecrow) will be a symbol used to put fear into the people and scare away the rebellion.

Scarecrow tells Dorothy that he was brought out to the field and strung up for this reason. At this time, Dorothy begins falling against Scarecrow, unable to keep walking.

Scarecrow thinks back on this some more, and remembers a woman being brought into the dungeon he was in before being taken out to the field.

He doesn't recognize her, but she seems to recognize him. She is the woman shown in the flashback panel and is the "dearest person" mentioned earlier.

She is then killed in front of Scarecrow, and he puts it as them "making her go away". Dorothy is practically unconscious at this point, and Scarecrow picks her up in the present time and says that he doesn't think he likes it when people "go away".

Dorothy weakly looks up at Scarecrow and muses how he reminds her of the stuffed doll her father had. Here are the final two pages.

Gasp, cliffhanger!

Poor Scarecrow and Dorothy.

At least the munchkin kingdom is in sight? I don't have the remaining three comics, but I imagine it picks up with them going there.

Sadly enough, even if I did have the remaining comics, the series abruptly ends on a cliffhanger and is never resolved.

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

And that's it for Dorothy, Volume 1!

It's been pretty cool visiting the first four chapters of this old, abandoned comic.

After the fourth chapter, the book includes copies of all the comic covers.

Here they are!

Love love love that these were included.

There are also a couple of what appear to be teaser comic covers/promotional pages for the upcoming chapters.

Very cool!

As much as I personally am not that interested in The Wizard of Oz or retellings of it, I do appreciate the vision and work that went into creating this comic. The photographic acting against a digital backdrop is such a unique concept, I haven't seen anything like it before.

All in all, I think this was an awesome thrift find!

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

As always, you can read the whole book and see higher quality scans on my Internet Archive account.

Thanks for stopping by!

Part 1 -> Intro & Background Part 2 -> Chapters 1 & 2 Part 3 -> You're Here!

[vamppvania]

How would you fill this but for Betty?

https://www.tumblr.com/copied-factory/731265243644411904/ask

This is a long one so under da cut

Ok these center more on pre crown betty bc i imagine magic betty to be a drastically different character and i didnt want to cause confusion. Also sorry if these don't make sense I'm very tired, if anyone has any Thoughts on these hcs lmk!! :)

- What is the character’s go-to drink order?

Beer drinker fs. Orders bud light bottled not on tap

- What is their grooming routine? (how do they treat themselves in private)

On good days, she'll shower, brush her hair & teeth, shapewear, mascara even. On bad days, long stretches of time goes by without a shower, brushed teeth, clean clothes ect

- What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go?

I don't think she has much disposable income, most of it goes into work because work Is her leisure time. Oh but her and simon are absolutely That kind of couple that go on yearly backpacking trips, which can be pricey

- Do they have any scars or tattoos?

Got a tattoo when she was 16 and thought it was so fucking cool and awesome. It was a crow on her back

Lots of scars though. A careless child that spent a lot of time outdoors and an impulsive adult with no self preservation; shes a collection of calluses, burns and scars with their own stories to tell

-What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances?

I think betty is an angry/overstimulated crier so it can be anytime from minor inconveniences adding onto stress to because a coworker insulted her intelligence.

- Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child?

Youngest child to one older sibling. Its why she's a biter

- Describe the shoes they’re wearing.

Boots boots boots. From the mountaineering boots made for like 7000M of expedition to tasteful suede ankle boots for events. Obsessed with those mid calf boots she wears post YFYF I know she's that kinda dyke

- Describe the place where they sleep.

Damn bitch you live like this? I think her personal space is always invaded by work, education, or whatever niche interest, so there's little space for Her. She still makes space for treasured belongings though (picture of simon she kept). But if work demands her full attention, she's inexorable. Cleanliness/hygiene is put to the wayside, allowing dust to pile up alongside dirty dishes and used laundry. Who needs sleep when you have coffee and cigarettes

Also she'd have a fern or two. It feels nice to be needed by something.

-What is their favorite holiday?

I dont think she celebrates any traditional american holidays, but shed happily dig into holidays not taught/acknowledged by christian american culture, especially if they connect to anything shes decoding or studying. Halloween still rules though

-What objects do they always carry around with them?

OK so I think she carries around a backpack everywhere she goes and there's a Lot in there that she thinks is essential like

Multi tool, utility knife, lock picks, travel sized codebook, journal, books, flashlight, marlboros, camera, adderall, cool rock she found, Walkman. All this and she still Always forgets her wallet

[ragingdumpsterfire]

Once and for all, you can let go

Infamous OC: Juno Moore

Soft plinks of rain splattered against the window pane, running down in a symphony of drops. Lights from the city surrounding the small apartment smeared into a palette of watercolor, symbols of warm, safe homes. It bled into the dark room, bathing the curled up figure in a gentle embrace as glassy eyes stared out on the world.

It had been a few weeks since Juno had settled into the apartment, something a friend of a friend knew about. It was sparsely furnished, essentials the spoils of a good thrift shop haul. She knew that in time she’d be able to transform the space into a home of her own, and it didn’t bother her to see the open room. It held promise, and the bones were attractive. An alcove with a large window looked onto the Seattle area, and Juno had plans of plants surrounding the area. No, the room didn’t bother her at all.

What bothered Juno was the way that she could still see the rage of her parents whenever she closed her eyes at night, the boiling hatred embedded on her eyelids. The deadly silence before the explosive screaming, the way fists threatened to break her door as she darted around the room, fitting whatever possessions she could into her backpack. Her art supplies and sketchbooks, some clothing. All of her life summed up in one bag.

Juno never wanted her parents to know of her abilities as a conduit, it was an aspect she knew couldn’t survive as long as she was in close proximity to them. She’d repressed the power while in the house, never revealing that she could manipulate the world around her. The day that Juno ran away was like any other, her parents spewing their usual rhetoric while propaganda news played in the background. As the discussion turned towards how “those fucking Bio-Terrorists deserve to be target practice, they’re animals”, Juno could feel unbridled rage awakening in her body. How could they be so goddamn mindless, regurgitating whatever shit they hear? They never even considered the thought that Conduits were just people. Lost in her thoughts, it was only when the room went silent, the air thick with sudden hostility as two sets of eyes turned to stare at her that Juno focused. Looking around, her heart sank, the room beginning to spin around her. All of the color from the room had been drained, various shades of black and gray and white in their place. And around Juno, like an aura of raw anger, a rainbow of bright, pure color swirling around her fists. She didn’t expect to lose control in a moment of weakness, and she knew she had fucked up. The vitriol that filled the room was suffocating. A moment went by as her parents looked down at her hands, then back to her face, and that was when Juno’s flight response kicked in. As her parents processed what they had witnessed, she bolted down the hall and threw her door closed, frantically shoving her belongings in her backpack.

She jumped as the assault began on her door, various threats screamed through the barrier. Her body moved on its own, shoes thrown on, jacket pulled tight. She didn’t have a plan, she only knew she needed to run. And that’s what she did, on the cold autumn evening. She ran, and didn’t look back.

As she lie on the small bed, worn quilt tucked high under her chin, the city keeping her safe, Juno knew she’d forget the feeling of sheer loathing in their eyes. She’d forget what it felt like to break down on the bus, the panic attacks the first few nights. Some day, she’d stop startling at every noise outside the door.

Some day.

[agentark88]

Think: Chapter Eighty-Four: Doku Kobura: A Villain Playing Hero

My Hero Academia Fan Fiction by Agent ARK 88

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fan fiction using characters and settings from My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia created by Kohei Horikoshi. I do not claim any ownership of characters present in this piece that are owned and created by Kohei Horikoshi. I do not own My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia.

Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: This work contains mild language and violence.

Please be aware this chapter is in third-person perspective, following my original character, BioVirus, Doku Kobura, who is a villain currently a part of The League of Villains.

Chapter Eighty-Four: Doku Kobura: A Villain Playing Hero

Sweet Anna stepped out into the afternoon sun. Even with her hair dyed to its original brown color she appeared like an ethereal angel, otherworldly to Kobura. Her parents and these horrid students had broken her to pieces again. Her confidence had crumbled to dust. Kobura was slowly trying to sweep her back together.

“Hello, Sweet Anna,” he greeted her warmly. His new uniform itched, constricting him in ways that he just wasn’t used to in his normal gear. Despite his costume looking of leather on the outside, the fabric had quite a bit of stretch and was breathable to help him move. It was a lot harder to hide his weaponry under the cheap fabric of this school uniform as well, so he decided on just packing the essentials. The school should really consider getting a metal detector because the number of knives that Kobura had smuggled in could open a small weapon shop.

“Hey,” Anna said. Her cheeks were flush.

Doku’s attention dwelled on her expression. She didn’t appear sad, so what had gotten her to blush like that? “Was class eventful?” Kobura pulled himself off of the wall. He offered out his hand toward Anna’s bag.

“It was weird.” Anna declined his outstretched hand, shaking her head. “I’m pretty sure everyone thinks that I fought back against those girls. Well, everyone except Higa. He actually apologized to me. He wanted to make sure that someone named Abe knew he did it too. He seemed really freaked out.”

Kobura snaked his hands into his pockets. “He did, did he? It’s about time he apologized for his behavior toward you. I’ll make sure your classmates know it’s me next time, so they can keep your name out of their mouths.” Kobura brushed his arm intentionally against Anna’s to give her some kind of comfort. She didn’t seem to react much to his touch. What had happened in class must have been pretty bad to distract her from acknowledging his proximity to her. “By the way, Abe is me, remember?”

Anna stopped short, the gears turning in that pretty head of hers. “Wait a second. You made Higa do that? He begged me for forgiveness. He was so scared.”

Kobura frowned. “The only thing I made him do is what he should have done since he targeted you. Sorry goes a long way in this society. I learned that from you.” He grinned again, reaching out to ruffle Anna’s hair but thinking better of it. He lowered his voice. “It was his decision to beg for it, not mine. Though I must admit he should have done much more than beg for your forgiveness for what he put you through.” He tilted his head thoughtfully. Kobura extended his hand back, scratching the back of his head. “Try not to forget my new name, Sweet Anna. I can’t spend time with you if you blow my cover.” Kobura brought a finger to his lips, winking at her. “Remember that I’m called Ikuo Abe while we’re at school. Although I won’t correct you if you use my first name by accident.”

Anna uncomfortably shifted back from Doku. Her hands clenched at her backpack straps. “Why do you always use my first name? Wouldn’t it make more sense that you use my last name since you just joined the school?”

“Not if we’re best friends. I knew you before going here, Sweet Anna, so it’s okay. If it makes more sense to you, you can call me Ikuo.” Kobura leaned back, his coy smile catching the sun. “If you’d prefer, as your upperclassman, you could also call me Senpai.”

Anna’s face became a few shades darker. She glanced away in embarrassment, making Kobura’s heart flutter. She was so damn cute.

“I-I’m just fine calling you Abe.” She tugged absently at the bottom of her skirt. “Sure, I’ve spoken to you before, but I don’t really know you like this.” She gestured to his school uniform. “It’s a little odd seeing you as a normal student.” Anna paused, her stolid expression saddening. “Are you sure you want to be here with me? I thought that high school was kind of rough on you.”

Kobura winced. He’d forgotten she’d seen some of his past. “Don’t worry about me. I’m here for you. Sure, I was a late bloomer while I was in high school, but I’m a completely different creature now. I can thrive in this soul-sucking environment because I’ve been there done that, you know?” Kobura clenched his teeth together. “My priorities are set on ensuring your happiness. If you worry about me, it’s kind of counter-productive.”

Anna gave him a dubious look, but she didn’t question him about it. He led her over to a secluded area beneath a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. He wondered if a quirk had been used to make it blossom out of season. As a cold breeze swept through the tree, the pink petals dusted the surrounding area. Kobura brushed them clean from the bench, offering the seat to Sweet Anna. She sat down quickly, shoving her bag between her feet.

Kobura watched her sit in adoration. She was more beautiful than the scenery around her. He ensured that she was settled before he scrambled to get the bento box out of his backpack. Kobura couldn’t cook for shit. In fact, cooking was one of the few things he was actually bad at. He wouldn’t dare risk subjecting Sweet Anna to food poisoning. Instead, he had purchased a fresh meal from a nearby vendor, packing it while still scorching hot into a cute blue bento box he’d bought for her. The outside of the box was under-the-sea themed. It didn’t have a shark, but there were some tiny little fish on it. The meal he’d stuffed inside had some chicken, beef, and rice, and it included some grilled vegetables. Kobura offered her the box, afraid that she wouldn’t consider taking it from him.

“I packed it for you,” he said. Nerves rattled through his system. This was different for him. He was embarrassed he couldn’t serve her food that he’d made himself, but he was proud he had put the effort into the small gift. Kobura was also well-aware that Anna’s witch of a mother had been starving her, so he hoped that food was a good way to raise her spirits.

Anna hesitated to reach out toward the box. Kobura showed her that he had his own, and she more readily took it from him.

“Thank you,” she said, uncertainty straining her melodic tone. She opened the bento box, and her eyes widened. “Did you make this?”

Kobura sheepishly ducked his head. “Not exactly,” he mumbled under his breath. “I’m not very handy in the kitchen. I have a habit of burning things to a crisp.” Kobura slid next to Anna on the bench. “It’s the thought that counts though, right?” Kobura hesitated to open his own food. “It’s stupid, isn’t it? I would have sliced some fruits and vegetables for you, but because I can’t actually cook anything I didn’t want to disappoint you with a salad.”

“It’s not stupid,” Anna blurted. She peered down at the food before her. “It’s nice of you to bring it for me. I don’t think I’ve eaten an actual meal since I was dragged out of U.A..”

Kobura gazed at her while eating, and he had a hard time looking away. He forced his mind to capture the moment. Her head bopped side to side with her eyes closed when she realized how good it tasted. Her small feet kicked out rhythmically. A smile finally appeared on her angelic face, and he noticed the smallest of dimples dent her perfect cheek. She opened her eyes again, and Kobura nearly dropped his food. He tried to hide the fact he was just staring at her by snapping his head forward.

Kobura decided not to eat. He waited until Anna had finished and offered the rest of his food too. She hesitated at first, but then accepted his as well. To Kobura’s chagrin, lunch ended quickly. He could just skip class, but he didn’t want to draw unwanted attention on himself. Instead, he followed protocol, wishing Anna a better rest of her day. He used his class time for planning out new gadgets for himself. His notebook was filled with intricate explosives and weaponry. Funny how a teacher overlooks a notebook and is more aghast by the sight of a phone.

Class finally let out, and Kobura shot up from his desk, practically pushing students out of the way to meet up with Sweet Anna. He made it out into the courtyard, taking a straight path toward her last classroom building. He stopped short when he spotted a male student speaking with her. He narrowed his eyes, noticing how frustrated Anna looked. He started stalking in their direction.

The boy spotted Kobura first. He raised his head, putting his shoulders back defensively. He made an attempt to stand in front of Anna, but as soon as she lifted her head to see what was going on, she put a hand on him to pull him back.

“Is there a problem here?” Kobura hissed out.

The boy looked confused. “I was just having a discussion with my classmate.” The boy scanned Kobura over. “I haven’t seen you around here before. Are you new or something?”

“Upperclassman. Just transferred in. The name is Abe, and you’re making my friend uncomfortable.”

Anna readily moved over to Kobura. “We were just talking. Muto was about to go home. H-he offered to walk with me, but I already told him I was fine. There was a misunderstanding that happened between us, and he was just trying to make amends.” Anna placed a hand on Kobura’s arm, giving it a small squeeze. Her face said it all, she was terrified that Kobura would act irrationally.

“I was just offering to take her home,” Muto reaffirmed, barely acknowledging Kobura’s existence.

Kobura stepped back, but he’d reached a hand out toward Anna to ensure he could protect her at a moment’s notice. He continued to glare at Muto. Surprisingly, the boy didn’t seem concerned with Kobura’s presence at all. His gaze was set on Sweet Anna, Kobura’s Anna, and he looked lost in thought.

Kobura gracefully spun Anna around him to put distance between her and the other boy. His fingers were gentle but firm, sliding down to the small of her back and easing her away. “If that’s all, we’ll be on our way.”

A hand grabbed for Kobura’s shoulder. A switch flipped in him. He jerked back, his arm hooking around the one that was nearly too close to him, but he was stopped. Sweet Anna had stopped him. Bless her for her forethought. Her quirk coiled tightly around his forearm. Kobura could already feel the tremble in his fingers, itching to bring a blade to the boy who’d touched him. He withdrew his counterattack, his muscles easing as he felt Anna’s quirk dissipate away from his body.

“I wasn’t done talking to her,” Muto said.

“As far as I’m concerned, you were,” Kobura hissed. He glowered at the hand still extended toward him. Kobura wanted to bite Muto’s fingers off. “Don’t put your hands on me again, or you’ll lose them.”

“Is that a threat?” Muto asked, pulling his hand back and cocking his head in curiosity. He appeared intrigued rather than frightened. “You’d attack me for what? Invading your space? Or, is it because I talked to the klutz?”

A breath left Kobura’s body, a succinct exhale of air that left his body rattled. He glanced at Anna out of the corner of his eye, and he watched her cute little face blanch out of fear for what Kobura might do this boy, this nobody. Kobura’s stance shifted forward, his fingers clenching at his side. Anna’s small fingers caught his sleeve.

“Please don’t,” she pleaded. “He’s been decent to me.”

Kobura scoffed. Muto raised an eyebrow.

“Decent? He has insulted you and has done something that he thought he needed to make amends for. He’s a problem.” Kobura glared at Muto, contemplating if he launched a blade in his direction, would Anna be able to stop both the blade and an attack.

Muto picked at his fingernails in disinterest. “Seems like you’re the one causing problems,” Muto countered. “This conversation is boring.” Muto leaned to the side, so he could see Anna better. He shrugged. “I tried, klutz.”

Kobura visibly shook. He hesitated, eyeing Anna again and hoping she’d give him the go ahead to slit this guy’s throat. He knew better than to expect it, but he watched her response all the same. She seemed frozen, confused, or like she was holding her breath and hoping this would all end on its own.

“You know where to find me.” Muto lifted a hand in farewell as he turned away.

Kobura bit back a retort. Anna let out a relieved sigh. She gave Kobura a weary look before spinning on her own heel and walking in the direction of her house. Kobura guiltily hung his head. He caught up with her in only a few steps.

“I wasn’t trying to upset you,” Kobura said first. His hands clenched and unclenched in uncertainty. He kept feeling like he had made progress with their relationship only for it to be reeled back because Kobura was only trying to do what was best for Anna.

“Well, you did,” she said.

Kobura misplaced one of his steps out of surprise. Sweet Anna didn’t usually tell him bluntly what he’d done to upset her. Well, she didn’t do it right away. Usually, they’d have a little back and forth and then she’d blurt it out in frustration.

“I… How can I fix it?” he asked, looking at her pleadingly.

“Stop attacking people because you ‘think’ they dishonored me in some way,” she said.

“To be fair, he did seem awfully dishonorable—”

Anna snapped her attention back on Kobura. Her hazel eyes narrowed, and she gave him such a fierce look it made his heart skip a beat. He cleared his throat, blushing.

“I can ease up,” he said bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I hope so.” The fury in her eyes dimmed, exhaustion plain in the dark circles under her lower lids. She turned away again, plodding in the direction of her house. Her quivering fingers met her backpack straps.

Kobura hesitated to announce his next thought. “What’s that guy’s deal anyway?”

“He looked out for me at first. Or, so I thought. Then, he watched on as I was bullied by exactly the same people he warned me about. I… It confused me to say the least. He seemed to want to help me, but he just didn’t. I only realized it after…” Anna trailed off, suddenly speeding up. Crimson blush dusted her cheeks.

“After what?” Kobura asked curiously, bounding up to her.

“It’s stupid.” Anna waved him away.

“I’m certain it’s not.”

“I’m mad at you. I’m not going to just answer your questions.”

“What did I do? I was just defending you,” Kobura pouted, pursing his lips. “I already said that I’d ease up.” Heat began to rise up to Kobura’s face as he remembered what had just transpired. “I think I was right to be pissed off that he called you a klutz.”

“I am a klutz,” she bluntly retorted.

Kobura frowned. “Don’t call yourself that. You are not. I better never hear another bad thing about yourself come out of your mouth either.”

“It’s true. What else do you call someone that trips over their own feet all of the time? I can’t even control my own quirk. It’s pathetic.”

“Anna,” Kobura breathed out. “Don’t be mean to yourself, please. You’re the hardest working person I’ve ever met.” He strode up ahead of her, walking backwards, so he could speak with her face to face. “You weren’t given the same advantages as everyone else. You had to work to get where you are now. Your parents weren’t heroes. You had to use your powers in secret—”

Anna winced. “You shouldn’t know that about me,” she said.

“Well, I do.” Kobura shook his head. “That’s not the point. You and I, we were never given the same opportunities that everyone else had. Our parents weren’t supportive. Our quirks were shunned. But, we thrived all the same. You built yourself from the ground up. You didn’t get help. You’re more capable than you give yourself credit for.”

“It doesn’t matter how capable I am now, does it?” Anna snapped. She guiltily looked away. Tears filled her eyes. “All that work is worth nothing. I can’t get a hero license without being in a hero school.”

Kobura stopped. Anna swerved around his stilled form. He watched her pass. His heart clenched in his chest. The bullies had gone away, but they weren’t her problem. Misery cascaded off of her in waves. Kobura couldn’t have been happier spending time with her, but it was hard to see her so distraught.

Kobura and Anna reached her house. Anna didn’t make a move to go inside. Her fingers fidgeted with a button on her uniform.

“Are your parents always this late to come home?” Kobura asked.

“It’s better this way,” Anna said. “They only lock me in my room when they get home.”

Kobura gulped. He hated her parents. They mistreated her. They didn’t deserve such a perfect daughter. He wanted nothing more than to have Sweet Anna live with him. At least, that way he could know she was safe, treated fairly.

Kobura slipped past Anna. He sat down on the small porch. “I could stay with you for a little bit. We don’t have to go in yet.” He patted the space beside him.

Anna turned her gaze down, her attention trained on the empty space. “What if someone sees you? Sees us out here together?”

“I’ve walked with you before. Don’t you think they could have seen us then? We’re just a couple of students from the same school. No one would look at us twice.”

“You’re a fake student,” she argued.

“They don’t know that,” Kobura shrugged.

To his surprise, he’d convinced Anna to sit down. As she planted herself beside him, she sighed. It didn’t take long for her to start talking. She clearly had pent up a lot of her feelings.

“It feels like I wake up in a nightmare,” Anna admitted, shouldering off her bag. She placed her hands on her knees, pulling her legs closer to her chest. “I spend every day wondering if I had done something different I’d still be at U.A.. And, you want to know what? I don’t think I would be. There isn’t a scenario in my mind that would have kept my parents from eventually finding a reason to remove me from the school of my dreams. Yes, it was dangerous. Yes, I’d gotten hurt. They didn’t take me out for my safety though. They took me out because now they were being directly targeted, now people could connect me to them.” Anna picked at a splintering piece of wood beside her. “They would have taken me out far earlier if they’d actually done it for me.”

“They hate the attention,” Kobura stated, affirming her thoughts. “They think your quirk would put a bad light on them.”

“That’s how it always had been. I think they let me pursue my hero career, hoping that it would distance my association with them. When they realized it was doing the opposite, and then the Emoticon thing happened, it was enough of a reason to pull me out of hero school.” Anna bit into her lip. “They’ll never let me go back. I’m stuck here, and I hate it.”

Kobura nudged her with his elbow, giving her a worried smile. “Hey, it’s not so bad. I’m here, aren’t I?”

Anna shrugged. At least she didn’t outright deny his company was unwelcome.

“It will get better. No one will mess with you while I’m around.” He raised his arms, flexing. “I can get you whatever you want on the down low too. You’ll never have to be lonely either. I’ll spend as much or as little time with you as you want.”

“I doubt you would allow me to ask to spend only a little time with you,” Anna said.

Kobura’s shoulders dropped. “If that’s what you wish, I will give you space.” He picked himself up off of the ground, only for Anna to reach out to him.

“Y-you’re fine to stay right now,” she stuttered out.

Kobura sat back down. He tilted his face up to the sun, stretching his long limbs out. He was living the dream. Sweet Anna was next to him, talking to him. She wanted him there. Still, it felt wrong. While Kobura basked in Anna’s attention, she was slowly falling into despair. She didn’t belong here as much as Kobura wanted her to love it. The lack of security made it so much easier to spend time with her. At this school, Kobura didn’t even have to worry about other suitors with powerful quirks to contend with.

Kobura leaned forward, setting his arms on his knees. He tilted his head, looking at Anna. She’d set her gaze outward, lost. She was beside him, but she wasn’t actually there in the moment. The light had left her eyes, the excitement. She slouched, defeat hanging heavily on her petite shoulders. It killed him to see her like this. He couldn’t fight her sadness. He couldn’t slice up her depression. He would forge a hero license for her, but it would go against her wishes. He would change her name and help her into a different school, but she would know it was a lie. He’d do anything for her. He loved her.

“What can I do?” Kobura asked sincerely.

Anna jolted back, focusing again. “What? What are you asking?”

“How can I help you?” Kobura leaned back. “I want to help, but I don’t know how.”

“There’s nothing you can do, Doku,” Anna said.

Kobura smiled softly at hearing his first name leave her perfect lips. He would have sold his very soul to have kissed her in that moment. “So, burn down the world that has caused you this much grief? Got it.” He chuckled.

“Kobura, that’s not funny,” Anna said. “You better not.”

“Oh, you have that much faith in me that I could decimate the world for you?” Kobura perched his chin atop his hands. “You know I have that much power, and you still refuse to ask me for anything?”

“You can’t give me what I want,” she said finitely.

“Who said?”

“Can you legally get me back into U.A.?” she tested.

“Why do you want to go back there so badly? There are plenty of other schools that would be better.” Kobura sighed. He knew why she wanted to go there so badly without her even having to say anything. Her friends were there. It’s where she made it in on her own. He hated to admit it, but she clearly belonged there. At the same time, Kobura’s enemies were there. There was a whole ass gate keeping him away from Sweet Anna there too.

“I miss being there,” she said. She didn’t elaborate further. She didn’t have to.

Kobura felt his heart shattering piece by piece as he considered how he could get her back in. Wasn’t he enough? Couldn’t he be enough for her? Selfish. He was thinking selfishly. This was about Sweet Anna, not him.

“Legally?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Kobura rummaged through the confines of his thoughts. He was smart enough to figure out some way to do it, but he didn’t want to. He just wanted to be there with her forever. Didn’t she see how much this meant to him? Kobura strangled those invasive thoughts again. He needed to make Anna happy. That was what he truly wanted.

“It’s improbable,” Kobura said, his plan clicking together like the last pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. He saw what he could do clearly.

“Not impossible? Don’t give me false hope,” Anna said, but she’d already resigned to her fate. Her voice was missing its vivacity. “Even if you could, my parents would just take me out again.”

Kobura scanned her over. He adored her with every part of his being. He wanted to keep her all to himself. He hated her with the other U.A. students. He hated himself for being what he was, a villain. If he could change… he would. But, he couldn’t be redeemed. He’d done things that were unalterable. He’d set his path long ago. She still had a chance.

“I could get you new parents,” he offered.

Anna shot him a death glare. “You can’t just replace my parents. Where would they go?”

In the ground, Kobura thought, praying that she wasn’t using her quirk to read his mind. Kobura shrugged. He would gladly rid Anna of her abusive parents, but she would hate him for it. “It was just a thought,” Kobura said.

They sat there together for another hour, not saying much. Anna got up when she knew her parents would be coming home soon. Kobura helped her collect her things, holding the door open for her.

“See you tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said.

He wanted to see her smile. He needed to see her smile. She was nothing more than a husk of her former self. Anna stopped briefly.

“Thank you for walking me home.” She closed the door.

Kobura went to his new apartment, trying desperately to keep out the idea he had to get Sweet Anna back into U.A.. He knew how to do it. He didn’t want to do it.

Kobura tried his best to make Anna’s days better at school. The two of them did everything together. Some days, he could see the beginning of a smile on her face. He’d bring her sweets, take her to places on the campus they weren’t allowed to be. He took her to the roof, the gym after hours, and even the school pool. She went willingly with him, but he could never quite get her back the way that she used to be. There were glimmers of her joy that appeared for a second, but each was brought on by a memory of being at her old school. Her expression always soured as soon as she realized where she was. Nothing Kobura did could fully bring her back to him.

Weeks went by. Anna only got worse. Her parents locked her away during winter break. Kobura waited outside for her to leave the house, but she never did. Something broke in her over that long period of time locked in that dark house. Her spirit began to fade. Even when she returned to school, there were barely any signs of the old her left. Still, he never stopped waiting for her, taking care of her in any small way that he could.

Kobura stood next to the stairwell door of the school roof, watching Anna stare up into the sky while her hair whipped around her face. Sweet Anna hadn’t eaten that day. She refused anything that he offered her too. She’d been crying before he came to pick her up and walk her to school. Her eyes had been red-ringed and puffy. She hadn’t denied having cried when he asked her earlier that morning. Those days were becoming more often.

Now that it was lunch and Anna’s mood hadn’t improved in the slightest, he was beginning to get worried, more worried than he had been at least.

“We could stop by the chocolate shop on the way home,” Kobura offered, trying to get her to at least say more than two words to him.

“No thanks,” she despondently responded.

“Maybe we shake things up and go the aquarium. That sounds fun, right?” Kobura had managed to take her to small places nearby but nothing too significant. The chocolate shop was one of her favorites. Plus, she knew that she could get back before her parents got home. It was a risk offering the aquarium, but Kobura would do anything to see her remotely cheerful.

“No,” she said. Her bottom lip quivered.

“Anna,” Kobura pleaded. He crossed the roof, but she shifted closer to the roof’s edge, up against the safety bars.

“Thank you for trying, but I just…” she trailed off. She was over it. She wanted to be a hero, and she knew she couldn’t do it here. It was written all over her face. She’d lost hope.

Kobura made a decision. Not for him. But, dammit, he wished that he had made that decision for him. He had been so selfish. He cherished this time he got to spend with Anna, but it wasn’t her anymore. He knew exactly what he had to do. He’d have to get Sweet Anna back into U.A. no matter the cost.

“I’m sorry,” Kobura said.

“For what?” Anna asked, hugging her arms.

“I’m just sorry.” He was sorry for keeping her to himself. He was sorry for waiting so long to sacrifice his happiness. He was sorry because he was part of the reason she was sent to this school to be concealed from the world. He was sorry for postponing her dreams, so he could just spend time with her. He didn’t have the courage to say it out loud to her either.

Anna shrugged. A dismissive gesture he wasn’t accustomed of seeing from her. His face fell.

“I won’t be able to walk you home tonight,” Kobura said carefully.

“Huh, why?” Anna asked. There was a sliver of consciousness that possessed her through her dismal expression.

“There’s something I have to take care of,” he said.

“Okay. Do you need any help?” she asked. Her forest hazel eyes blinked up at him, and he nearly melted.

“No. You’ve done more than enough.” Kobura’s stomach flipped. This could be the last time he would see her on even footing, as another student, rather than a villain. He gently grasped her shoulders.

Anna didn’t pull away, but she watched him cautiously. Kobura leaned forward, only to be met by Sweet Anna’s quirk repelling him away. He kept his weight forward, not fighting against her quirk, but letting her hold him there. She looked confused, scanning him over in case he was trying to attack her. She blinked up at him, and he gave her a gentle smile. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the predicament. It was awkward, but it felt innately real to him, a moment that he would hold dear. For some reason, Anna slowly released her quirk from holding him, and he leaned further into it until he was a breath away from her forehead. He wanted to kiss her, knowing it might be the last time, but he changed his mind.

Tentatively, Kobura’s hands slid up to Anna’s face, gently tilting it upward. He nuzzled his nose into hers. The gesture was more intimate than he expected, filling his cheeks with warmth.

“I don’t want to be the cause of your pain anymore,” he murmured. He pulled back a few inches. “I promise to do better for you.” He released her.

Anna let out the breath she was holding. Her breath had quickened. Her face was red.

Kobura left her standing on that rooftop, hoping this would not be the last moment they would share together as two youths in a budding romance. He headed for his apartment, already dialing his phone to call Toga.

“Have time to help me do something falsely heroic?” Kobura asked.

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

Where You Should Be

December 1, 2022

Prompt - Reunion

Notes - I have a bunch of prompts for this month in my notes, but I might not get the chance to do all of them, sadly. However, I’ll be doing as many as I can before Christmas, so hopefully, this will be a great month full of prompts! Also, I know I mention everyone being a year older in this, however, it is only for this season and I'll hardly ever bring it up in other prompts. Their normal ages have not changed.

No amount of Jingle Bell Rock could stop Royce’s pacing as he wandered back and forth in the living room of the Murphy house. Bentley had insisted on putting their well-loved, more than slightly scratched, Christmas record early in the morning, but its blaring lyrics and cheerful music did nothing to calm the curly-haired brunette. Miles had tried his best to keep the seventeen-year-old busy, but Royce had packed his backpack of essentials and small presents three days prior, his room was cleaned, and the offer of joining Miles in picking Carrie up from her studio’s Christmas party was answered with a roll of Royce’s eyes and a very quick, “I’ll pass.”

Bentley, who had been tossing the last of his things into his backpack, slammed his bedroom door shut as he left it, singing along to the lyrics of the Christmas song as he made his way into the living room and tossed his bag by the front door. Collapsing onto the couch, Bentley chuckled as he watched his older brother pace back and forth, subconsciously picking at his nails as he went. “Are you trying to wear a hole into the rug?” Bentley asked.

Royce froze, glancing down at the carpet before sending his brother a sharp glare. “Not funny.”

“It was to me,” Bentley claimed with a grin. He watched his brother anxiously begin tearing at his fingernails for a moment before sighing, “Are you still worked up about the whole Vivien thing? I told you, man, you have nothing to worry about.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Royce sighed, “You’re not the one in a relationship with her.”

“I certainly hope not,” Bentley agreed, a look of disgust evident on his face. Vivien had been one of his best friends for over a year at that point and never had the thought of having any kind of romantic relationship with her crossed his mind. If anything, she was the sister he never had. Royce ran a hand through his hair, tugging on curls as he went and Bentley sighed, “You’re not asking her to marry you.”

Royce was quick to shake his head. “Of course not. I don’t have to worry about that for a few years.”

“Heaven help us when that time comes around,” Bentley mumbled, knowing just how worked up his brother would be when the time came. “Look, you’re just giving her a bracelet, not an engagement ring. It’s not that serious.”

Royce gave his younger brother an incredulous look. “‘Not that serious’? Bentley, I’m asking her if she wants to go steady with me and that’s practically a step behind asking her to marry me. Viv could still say that she’s not ready for something like that or that she doesn’t like me like that.”

Bentley rolled his eyes. “She wouldn’t do that to you. You know she loves you.”

“And I love her.” Dropping onto the ottoman with a sigh, Royce ran a hand through his hair before turning to Bentley with a tentative look and confessing, “You know, we’ve never actually told each other ‘I love you’ yet.”

Bentley’s confused look only made Royce feel worse. “Really?” the youngest Murphy brother asked. “You two have been together for almost a year, I thought you would’ve done that by now.”

Royce shrugged, “I mean, we’ve shown it in other ways. I give her little gifts or things that make me think of her and she likes to sit together and read or show me things she likes. I just think it’s something that’s understood between us.”

“You’ve just never said it?”

“Yeah.”

“I guess I can see why you’re nervous,” Bentley said, “but I still don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“What do you mean?” Royce questioned.

Bentley pushed himself forward, leaning his elbows on his knees and smiling at his brother. “You remember how I knew you and Viv liked each other before both of you knew and you were freaking out over how to tell her?” Royce thought for a moment before nodding slowly. “It’s sort of like that. You two are idiots, but you’re idiots in love with each other. I don’t think you need to work yourself into a panic attack over something that’s only going to work out in the end.”

The room was silent as Royce thought hard about his brother’s words. It made sense that someone outside of the relationship would have a different perspective. Bentley knew both of them personally and saw them through both good and bad moments, the idea of him seeing things going smoothly wasn’t too farfetched. Besides, Bentley had a good intuition and seemed to have some sense of premonition from time to time, Royce would have to be a fool to ignore his brother’s words.

“Maybe you’re right,” Royce allowed, giving his brother a small smile.

“Of course, I’m right,” Bentley scoffed as he reached over and shoved Royce, earning him a laugh from his brother. The fifteen-year-old pushed himself to his feet with a sigh, patting his brother’s shoulder as he stepped around the ottoman. “Come on, let’s get our stuff together and wait outside for Miles and Carrie to show up. You need fresh air and I want to make sure my bike is in the garage before we leave.”

Royce chuckled as he rose off the ottoman and followed his brother toward the door, turning off the record player as he went. He picked up his bag from next to the door and locked the front door they had finally managed to replace over the summer. The pale blue painted wood never quite sat right in the door jamb, so it took a bit of tugging on the doorknob to slide the deadbolt into place, but it was certainly an upgrade from the crumbling red paint that would latch onto your skin anytime you opened or closed the door before. The house was finally starting to feel like home now that they had the money to peel away the old wallpapers and fix up little things here and there.

As Bentley pulled his bicycle into the garage, Royce sat on the walkway with their belongings and opened his backpack, digging toward the bottom of the fairly new orange and black bag that Mick’s parents had gotten him for the new school year. He had missed Mack and Brady, but the school year had taken up a lot of his time in the last year and their trips to California and New Hampshire had been far less frequent. However, he was extremely grateful that they were going to be able to visit for a whole month again. He had missed having them around, but Mick had told them the feeling was mutual. Royce’s train of thought stalled as his fingers brushed a long, thin, velvet box he had wedged between his hoodie and the books he wanted to bring. 

Pulling the box almost out of his bag, Royce examined the bracelet inside with scrutiny. He had done a ton of research trying to figure out what Vivien would like and he finally felt as though he had picked out something perfect. Her budding interest in crystals and their meanings helped him greatly and he was able to get Mick to help him find the crystals he wanted to use. The amethyst and citrine stones were an odd coupling, but Royce felt it was far more meaningful than any charm bracelet could ever be. Mick and her parents had offered to help pay for it, but Royce’s stubbornness had won out and he was able to pull enough money together from the shifts he’d picked up at Big Momma’s and the few hours he’d spent tutoring people at school.

The simple bracelet wasn’t much, but Vivien wasn’t much for anything extravagant. As Miles drove his beat-up pickup into the driveway, Royce closed the box, shoved it into his backpack, and zipped the bag shut, not wanting either of the vehicle’s occupants to know about his plan. He wanted to surprise everyone on Christmas, his and Vivien’s anniversary. Royce stood from the ground and Bentley retrieved his bag as Miles parked the truck next to his motorcycle and helped Carrie get her bags out of the back seat. The walk to Mick and Butchy’s house never took long, but to Royce, it felt like it went on forever. It always did when they were going between worlds - the excitement, anticipation, and nervousness accumulated with every step they took.

Mick and Butchy’s garage was unusually quiet as the group of four stepped inside. The only person present was Mick and she was listening to something with her headphones on, her head bopping along to music the rest of them couldn’t hear as she sketched something in her notebook. Miles tried calling out to the brunette, but got no response, so he set Carrie’s bags inside the trusty yellow machine they had built so long ago and allowed the boys to follow suit before sneaking up behind the girl at her work desk and quickly wiggling his fingers up her spine.

Mick let out a high-pitched shriek as she whirled around, her old, black headphones landing around her neck as she realized who it was that scared her. “Miles, you ass,” she huffed, deftly closing her notebook and tucking it under her arm as she stood from her desk.

“You love me,” Miles replied with a smirk as he stepped back toward the machine.

“Sometimes, I wonder why,” she fired back with a grin. After a long, groaning stretch to release the tension in her muscles from sitting in the same spot for so long, Mick smiled and asked, “You guys ready to go?”

“Where’s Butchy and Lela?” Bentley asked. “Aren’t they coming?”

Mick chuckled as she hit the button to lower the garage door, “They’re already back at my parents’ place. My dad needed Butchy to help him fix something in the van before we could head to the airport.”

The simultaneous nod of understanding that the three Murphy brothers shared didn’t go unnoticed by the two women, but they managed to keep their laughter contained as they stepped into the machine. Interdimensional travel didn’t last long, surprisingly, and it didn’t take long for them to be opening the latch and stepping into Brady’s workshop shed. Over time, the shed had become a bit of a catch-all; gardening tools and lawn care equipment were shoved to the side, boxes of decorations had been arranged in some form of organized chaos on high shelves, and Brady’s tools, work benches, and various other equipment were spread through the room in a manner only he could comprehend.

Ocean air and squawking seagulls greeted the group as they emerged from the shed. San Clemente, California was cooler than normal at only 58 degrees, but everyone knew they wouldn’t be complaining about the chill in the air for too long. After all, New Hampshire’s tiny town of Sanbornton would be much colder and far snowier than any Southern California city. With bags in hand, the group made their way into Mick’s family home, greeting the two women who sat on the couch, chatting.

Mack was on her feet in a matter of seconds, placing her cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table and rounding the couch so she could wrap every person in a hug. Mick stepped aside as her Mom wrapped her arms around Royce and Bentley’s shoulders, pulled them to her, and swayed them side to side. Royce was already taller than the woman, resting his head over her shoulder with a smile, but Bentley discovered that he was just barely the same height as the woman who acted like a second mother to them. Royce closed his eyes as Mack squeezed him close, whispering to the woman, “We missed you, Aunt Mack.”

Mack slowly pulled away from the teenagers, cupping one of their cheeks in each of her hands as she told them, “Your Uncle Brady and I have missed you too. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up on lost time.”

Before either of the boys could say anything in return, a voice from the front entryway loudly asked, “Do I hear my troublemakers?”

Bentley turned to Royce and the pair shared a smile before running around Mack and calling back, “Uncle Brady!”

With a chuckle and a fond smile in the direction the boys had left in, Mack shook her head and turned to Miles and Carrie. “I had a feeling that would happen.”

Miles grinned as he was brought into the woman’s arms. “Good to see you again, Mack.”

“It’s good to see you too, Miles,” Mack said before pulling away from the young man and reaching for his girlfriend.

Carrie, who had been standing quietly to the side since their arrival, wasn’t as surprised to receive a hug from the woman as she had been the first time they had met. The first time Carrie had been to their home, she’d kept her distance in an effort to not get in the way of the family, but found herself brought into any activity Miles participated in. That day, she was glued to Miles’ side the entire day and barely said anything until the rest of the girls dragged her off to watch a broadway show, but it was evident by how quickly she accepted the older woman’s embrace that she had certainly grown more comfortable around Miles’ extended family.

“I’m so glad Miles convinced you to join us for the month, Carrie,” Mack told the blonde.

Carrie’s surprise was barely concealed as she asked, “You are?”

Mack nodded as she pulled back, rubbing the girl’s arms reassuringly. “Of course. However, I bet there’s someone else who will be even more excited to see you.”

The curly-haired blonde could only think of one person who wasn’t present who would want to see her and it certainly wasn’t Butchy. Although her rocky relationship with Butchy had begun to mend over time, it definitely wasn’t to the point where he’d be glad to see her. The person on her mind, though, was a specific brunette with circle-framed glasses and a penchant for sneaking into abandoned buildings. She and Vivien had bonded quickly, sharing a love of music, theatre, vintage fashion, and movies. The pair had grown close quicker than anyone had anticipated they would, but Carrie certainly wasn’t complaining since she knew that, with Vivien around, there was at least one person in Miles’ life that wanted her around and enjoyed her company. 

“Does she know I’m going with you?” Carrie asked as Miles wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Mack chuckled and shook her head, “She doesn’t even know that we’re coming.”

Carrie’s grin broadened into a smile as she tried to imagine the reaction they’d get from the seventeen-year-old. Chances were, after realizing there were people other than her boyfriend present, the young brunette would tackle each of them with the force of a professional football star and, oddly enough, Carrie would be fine with it if she did. She hadn’t heard from the brunette since her last visit with Mick’s family when they chatted on the phone, but their conversation was short-lived since Royce wanted to talk to his girlfriend about some of the things going on at his new school. For now, Carrie could only imagine the teenager’s surprise at their arrival.

Their stay at Mack and Brady’s house didn’t last long as they needed to get to the airport for their flight, but once the chaos began, it didn’t show any signs of stopping. Bags were thrown into the storage box on top of the roof rack and, after everyone else had filled the seats, Bentley made himself comfortable in the trunk with some of the blankets they’d left there the last time they’d gone on a road trip. Was it legal? No, but it would work for the quick drive to the airport as long as he kept his head away from the back window. 

In no time at all, they pulled into the small airport where Mack and Brady’s friend worked and started loading themselves into the private plane’s seats. As the plane began moving, Royce felt glad that he had gotten used to flying over the last year they’d been spending time at the cabin in Sanbornton. Over time, everyone had seemingly adjusted to flying, but Royce had taken the longest to get used to it. He preferred being on the ground where the possibility of a fiery crash into the side of a mountain wasn’t likely, but he’d at least gotten to a point where he wasn’t having a panic attack with every movement the plane made. Even Carrie had practically no issue with the plane rides. Mick was the only one on the plane who hated flying with a passion regardless of how often she flew, but she claimed it was only bad if she was sitting near the window since her vertigo would get the better of her if she so much as glanced out the window.

Everyone was glad when the seven-hour-long flight landed at an airport near Boston, Massachusetts. It took a few minutes for everyone to grab their things and file out of the plane, but they knew their journey wasn’t over yet. The group tossed their belongings into the trunk of the Yukon Mack and Brady had bought before attempting to pile into the car without fighting for who got what seat. After an intense game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Royce found himself wedged in the far back with Miles and Carrie while Bentley smugly filled the seat in front of him, proudly flaunting his prized seat for the duration of the nearly two-hour-long drive north. While Bentley kept himself occupied by chatting happily with Mick and Butchy for the ride, Royce found himself staring out the window, wanting nothing more than for the ride to be over so he could see his girlfriend again and collapse into the comfort of his lofted bed.

Miles tried to distract his brother with talk of the book series he’d just started reading, but eventually gave up when Royce rested his forehead against the icy window and tried to sleep through the ride, claiming he was starting to get a headache. Instead of allowing her boyfriend to worry about his younger brother, Carrie distracted Miles with some stories from her time on set, something Royce felt grateful for. He eventually resorted to listening to the playlist Vivien had made for the two of them, hoping it would make the time go by faster. Before he knew it, his breathing began to even out, and sleep found him easily.

If it hadn’t been for the typical, New England potholes jerking the car and thumping Royce’s forehead against the glass he had once found comfort in, he probably would’ve needed somebody else to wake him when they got to the house. However, he was now wide awake and his headache had worsened. Bentley turned around and caught a glimpse of his brother’s disheveled hair and disgruntled expression and was able to figure out what happened, laughing at his brother’s expense. Carrie and Miles, on the other hand, were far more comforting.

“Are you okay?” Carrie asked, leaning forward so she could see past Miles.

Royce nodded as the car turned onto Gray Road, rubbing the side of his head with a yawn, “Just peachy.”

“Want some medicine when we get to the house?” Miles offered.

Royce shook his head, “I’ll be fine.”

A cheeky smirk breeched Bentley’s face as he teased, “Fine enough to see your girlfriend?”

“What are you talking about?” Royce asked.

“We’re surprising Viv and her family first,” Bentley answered. “Aunt Mack texted her parents when we crossed the state line and they said they’d be home from the skating rink by the time we got here. Viv, Abby, and Oliver don’t know we’re on our way.”

Royce’s eyes widened as he realized the car was pulling into Vivien’s driveway. His brothers shared a laugh as Royce quickly ran a hand through his hair and attempted to make it look as though he hadn’t just woken up. Once the car was parked and the family had begun climbing out of the car to stretch and make their way to the front door, Royce was dragged toward the front of the line and made to ring the doorbell since it was his girlfriend and her family they were visiting.

Anticipation bubbled inside Royce as he listened to the Christmas-themed doorbell chiming on the other side of the door. His girlfriend was potentially only feet away, a thick, metal door with a giant wreath keeping them apart. He had swiped his hands across his jeans enough times to not only rid them of sweat but probably remove a few layers of skin as well. Why was he so nervous? He’d been to Vivien’s house many times before and had simply walked in on more than one occasion when Vivien had told him to. Perhaps it was because he hadn’t seen her since her birthday in August. Sure, they’d done a few phone calls and video chats when they could find time between their busy schedules and the three-hour time difference between California and New Hampshire, but nothing compared to the real deal. And Royce hadn’t seen the real deal in months. 

It took a while to hear anything from the other side of the door, but soon, a familiar voice called out, “Yeah, I got it!”

All at once, the door was pulled open, revealing a Vivien who looked just as well-put-together as Royce felt. Vivien’s violet sweatpants had little Care Bears printed down one leg and her baggy t-shirt was an identical shade of purple with a smiling, rainbow flower inside of a white circle. Her hair was pulled into a pile at the top of her head, but her hair was so thick that the fluffy band holding her hair in a knot looked ready to burst. Her face was paler than usual and she looked exhausted, but to Royce, she was gorgeous.

It took Vivien a while to register that the person in front of her wasn’t the pizza guy she had been expecting to see. Instead of one of the typical high school kids who worked at one of the two pizza places they normally ordered from, Vivien found herself face to face with a teenage boy dressed like he’d stepped off the set of some cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie - blue sweater over a plaid shirt, jeans, winter boots, and neatly coiled, curly hair. What caught Vivien’s attention most, however, were his eyes; practically glowing, golden brown eyes that only seemed to brighten as he caught her gaze with a smile. Vivien’s eyes widened as she realized who it was, but her shock soon turned to horror and the tips of her ears began burning as her gaze snapped down to the outfit she’d thrown on after a long and tiring practice.

As soon as the mortification set in, Vivien shrieked and, in a panic, slammed the door in Royce’s face.

“Vivien?” her dad, Damien, questioned as he stepped through the archway that led from the kitchen and living room areas. “What’s wrong, pumpkin?”

The girl in question had pressed herself against the metal door, her eyes wide as she tried to think through what had just happened. “He’s here!” she whisper-yelled.

“Who is?”

“Royce!”

Damien glanced between his daughter and the door behind her in confusion. “And you slammed the door on him… why?”

Vivien’s shock began to wear off as she sent her dad an incredulous look, gesturing wildly to her outfit. “I look like I just rolled out of bed and raided a five-year-old’s closet! He can’t see me like this!”

Once again, Damien was confused. “Sweetheart, he held your hair back when you had the flu last February and you looked like death warmed over. I doubt he’s worried about what you’re wearing. I think he’s more concerned with why you’ve slammed the door in his face when you two haven’t seen each other in months.”

Damien smiled as he watched the gears in Vivien’s brain shift into overdrive, sorting through her thoughts and coming to terms with the fact that her boyfriend was there and she had quite harshly squashed his sweet surprise by screeching in his face and slamming a metal door in his face. As his daughter’s eyes slid shut and her head thumped back against the door, Damien chuckled and shook his head, telling Vivien that he’d be in the kitchen if she needed him. 

Vivien slowly turned back to the door, hoping the man on the other side of it hadn’t turned tail and run already. Thankfully, Royce was still standing there when she opened the door, a look of bewilderment evident on his face. To Vivien's dismay, the rest of his family was standing behind him, either laughing or trying to contain their laughter. Vivien tried to suppress her grimace of frustration as she forced a hopefully apologetic look across her face. Not only had she shut out her boyfriend, but she had also done the same to his family. Boy, she was off to a great start.

“I’m so sorry,” she managed to mutter.

Royce stepped across the threshold of the home, bringing his arms around his girlfriend and holding her close as she buried her face in the collar of his sweater. “Don’t apologize. We didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Vivien claimed, her arms tightening around Royce’s shoulders as she watched his family file into the house behind them and close the door. “I realized that I look like a toddler dressed me and I might’ve panicked a bit.”

Royce pulled back just enough to look at Vivien, the fondness in his caramel eyes sending a wave of calm through his girlfriend. “You look beautiful in anything.”

With a smile, Vivien leaned closer to Royce, pressing her forehead against his and closing her eyes, something she did often. She had mentioned to Royce in passing that it was something to do with her Native American heritage, a sort of grounding, soulful gesture to show trust and give comfort, but it had become a way for them to show affection throughout their relationship. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered, her breath ghosting across Royce’s face.

Royce’s arms tightened around Vivien as he whispered in return, “Not nearly as much as I’ve missed you.”

Knowing they could playfully argue back and forth on the topic for hours, Vivien merely rolled her eyes and pulled Royce back in for a tight squeeze. They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other close. Eventually, Vivien rediscovered the other people that had arrived, locking them in hugs and chatting their ears off about anything and everything she had wanted to tell them over the last few months. In the end, though, she ended up on the living room floor with Royce and Bentley, her two favorite people in the world. It wasn't the most comfortable place to sit and chat, but as long as they were together again, it was exactly where they wanted to be.

[shoresoftheshadowlands]

I have a plushy that I've had since I was extremely young. I wasn't a baby, but I was in early grade school approaching middle (Under 11, but older than 8 years old if I had to guesstimate). It's a fuzzy horse, the tag said its name was Jackson and I sorta kept the name. I think it was bought for me at a payless or a pre-rename big-lots store.

From the day it was purchased to this day it has been in my bed, and been used as a half pillow for my neck and shoulder (The horses neck and back matched perfectly and I'm legitimately not able to sleep without it in that spot now).

Now one would assume that this plushy is a comfort object and you would be RIGHT. As an adult with autism it might be a little embarrassing to admit it but if someone ever did anything to or stole Jackson from me, there would be a wrath the likes no one has ever seen. I would probably drive myself to ruin to get it back.

You see, not only is this plushy sentimental to me because it was a gift and I've had it essentially my whole life, through the worst times I can remember, and the best times too,....But it did, at one time, save my life. And I mean that very, very literally.

In highschool we had the usual 'spirit week' and one of those days was 'bring a plushy to school' day. Typical fare, Jackson was a sure favorite so I brought him with me.

I didn't actually get to show him off that day, and I don't believe I participated in any other themed day that year because at the mid point of the day, while standing at the top of the stairs about to go down to my Starmaker choir class, a group of three underclassman (younger students, my school was an Arts school that covered 7th-12th grade) came up behind me and pushed me.

Now, that alone is terrifying enough, but this building that the school was in used to be a military training building. The stairs were each like double height and had a turnpoint to the ground floor half way down. I know for sure that their folks had put them up to it. Not a week before, my mother's office had been trashed and torn apart because as the president of the board of directors, she was for some reason a target for the stupid shit the principal and her son the vice principal were asking the board to include in the like...overview / rules? general school stuff. (Like dresscodes and the like). It didn't matter that my mother didn't really particularly agree with a number of the things on it, the people who owned the charter school basically dictated what they wanted. It was a whole complicated mess and it's been like eighteen years since then so some details are fuzzy.

Regardless, these three lil shits pushed me at the top of the stairs and I went down like a ton of bricks. I don't know what they expected was going to happen, but when I was falling, my large rolling backpack flipped over my head and landed in front of me, and me and this packpack rolled head over ass down the rest of the stairs, fucking up my shoulders and hips (I developed a persistant to this day chronic pain in these areas). When I'd come to a stop, my head and neck were mashed into my backpack and I wasn't moving. I think it was at this point that the three dingdongs realized that what they'd done may have killed me and that they hadn't thought it through very well and with this new terror in mind they BOLTED. I'd only seen them for split seconds as I fell, it's the only way I know there were three of them. I don't know which of them did the actual pushing, and I never found out because NO ONE ever found who these kids were because there were no cameras!

Regardless, when someone did find me because eventually other students came out of their classes (One actually knew I was at school and didn't show up in the next class and since I wasn't one to cut class, she came to find me).

The only thing that stopped my neck from breaking was the plushy in my bag. I'd landed on something soft instead of the hard backed backpack, textbooks and wall. I was still hurt pretty bad, but I'm very sure it would have been worse had it not been for my little plush horse that I've had for almost thirty years.

I know that I will never part with this plushy. I'd go through hell or a burning house to get it if I had to. It's going to be with me the rest of my life.

sometimes plushies make me cry because it’s like. they’re little guys made to be loved. their only purpose is to be held and hugged and loved. we made them because we love making things and we love loving things. and they’re so cute