#like it's not that I think he shouldn't have told me that
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this was really relatable to us apologies beforehand OP but this really spoke to our robot aft so;
legit been thinking for many months about adding a disclaimer to our instant messaging app profiles (and if we ever using dating apps again) that says "Don't ask me out unless you're willing to read EXRID or even just Best of Arcee plus having carefully considered the full meaning IDW1 Arcee's wiki page and that essay we wrote that one time" because literally only one person (who we're still friends with) out of more than a handful did that latter step (not specifically for this reason but it came up) and that was most we felt like someone understood us and could respect our boundaries and desires in retrospect, save for us wanting her to be able to love herself and accept that people care for and think well of her (this has gotten a lot better from what we can tell).
finding a succinct way to put that on a shirt honestly is tempting for another reason after dealing with a probable chaser cis guy recently who could not take the hint on us mentioning how much we liked the transfeminine narratives in transformers and it took outing ourselves as "sapphic/enbian" (this is just living and breathing) and plural (more difficult but in the space we were at the time not really) + a gal friend of ours (bless your heart dear pal) showing up and us lighting up to say hi to our friend for him to take the hint and he left immediately without saying goodbye or a word when I said bye. which combined with the fact he had tipped off knowing I was trans earlier in a weird way that made me wonder why would you ask me to come out for a smoke if you know it's unhealthy for me my guy kind of told me that he um well was not interested in respecting me. this is the third chaser we've dealt with so far in our life bleh.
I mean. I already looked like I was out in that peak 2010s undergrad degree queer showing who I am and what my neurodivergence is through pins kind of way?!!? How do you look at someone with a pin of Anode/Lug embracing + Greenlight/Lancer together not to mention various other gals (Aileron and Arcee included) and a lesbian colors Arcee and conclude 'this insert slur trans gal is primarily interested in cis men or evenly bisexual and I should totally try to follow up on this when it's very clear you're trying to leave to go home' at a transformers convention (the kicker is he did not know much about transformers so he was what. there to pick up trans women since somehow that deep cut of a takeway that transfems like transformers was disjointed from why?) lmao? lmao. lmao! its funny in retrospect but also absolutely ridiculous and concerning.
Maybe when we finish our EVA back stacks we'll have to write trans4trans on them to shoo people or something but we already know that in itself isn't enough
(note also to please not do this to straight/androphilic transfems either okay even if transness is why you're attracted it shouldn't be for fetishizing transness reasons you need to consider the full scope of what acting on attraction entails and thus value the needs and desires of the other person rather than have their worth be contingent on sexualization)
very beautiful art of gabriel btw
Gabriel in leather
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can you write a story where Tommy hides a relatively minor injury from buck and when buck finds out he freaks out( angry) but everything turns out okay in the end
"You brought me here? You ratted me out?"
"Dude, look at the state of you. Don't you think your husband of six months would notice?" Eddie said, parking his car in front of Buck and Tommy's house. "I still don't know why you called me instead of him."
"You're a medic! I needed medical help. "
"Yeah, we have these great places called hospitals. You can go there if you need medical help and they give it to you. They can even give you painkillers or numb the area if you need stitches."
Tommy rolled his eyes.
"Enough with the sarcasm, Diaz. You could have brought me to your place. I would have been fine there for a couple of hours until Evan went on shift. I would have had 48 hours to patch myself up and he wouldn't have had to worry." he moved to try and open the passenger door without hurting himself more, but it was yanked open before he could do so.
"Tommy! What the hell happened?" Evan caught him just before he could faceplant onto the pavement.
"It's worse than it looks." Tommy said and then scrunched his face up. "Wait. No. It looks worse than it is." he corrected himself. "Rough landing. It's fine."
"It doesn't look fine. You look like you just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson." Buck said and turned to Eddie. "What happened?"
"I don't know. He just called me and asked if I could pick him up at Harbor." Eddie shrugged. "He wouldn't let me take him to the ER so I cleaned him up best I could with the med kit I keep in my car... but it's not ideal. That's why I texted you, maybe he'll listen to you."
"Traitor." Tommy said, annoyed. "You're supposed to be my friend."
"I am your friend. And I'm also his. And my ankle still hurts on rainy days so I'm not getting in between the two of you again."
"That was years ago!" Buck protested.
"Tell that to my ankle." Eddie replied. "You good with him on your own?"
"We're fine." Tommy said and tried to slam the car door shut while also keeping himself upright and not letting Evan know how much he was hurting.
"Yeah I can handle him. Can you tell Bobby I'm not coming in today? I'll call him later to explain."
"Evan you don't have to stay home to babysit me." Tommy said both both men ignored him.
"Sure. Let me know if you need anything. I can swing by if we have some downtime."
"Thanks." Evan shut the car door and took Tommy inside and deposited him on the sofa. He gently grabbed his chin and turned his head from left to right. "Did Eddie stitch up your eyebrow?"
"Yeah... I told him to just stick a bandage on it but he insisted. It's fine."
"You keep telling yourself that." Evan told him and sat down on the coffee table in front of him, looking him up and down, trying to figure out if he had any other injuries. "Want to tell me what happened? Without using the word fine?"
Tommy took a deep breath and tried to hide the wince when he did. Evan just raised an eyebrow at him.
"The new probie. I shouldn't have left him fly in this weather."
"He crashed?"
"No, no crash. Just a rough landing. We got knocked around a little. it's f- not so bad."
"You're going to be black and blue in a couple of hours. Have you taken anything for the pain?" Buck asked, accepting he wasn't going to get a more detailed answer right now.
"I was going to get something from the place near Eddie's house. Before he ratted me out and drove me here."
Buck rolled his eyes and got up.
"You're impossible, you know that? I'm getting you some ibuprofen." he gently kissed the top of Tommy's head. "You're lucky I love you."
----
send me prompts and I'll write you a ficlet!
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Today I logged into facebook for the first time in nearly 4 years and went through every profile in my friends list (like ~300) and purged out all the assholes (anyone who openly voted for Trump, other conservatives, and those who I strongly believe did). I've done this before so there weren't many but there are a number that have been wishy-washy with being outward in their bigotry and it helps me keep a mental list of people that deserve only the most very basic level of respect that I can muster because they certainly do not respect me nor people I care about nor many of their fellow human beings. Most disheartening is seeing friends and family who continue to put effort into engaging with people who argue in bad faith and weaponized ignorance.
I dated a man for nearly a year who went to women's and pro-choice rallies and liberal groups with me and said many times that he "was on my side" but turned out to be lying the whole time because he knew I definitely wouldn't date him otherwise. I'd known him for years before since we ran in the same friend circle. I wasn't the only one he had fooled. He slowly lifted the mask until we were constantly arguing because of his bigoted and racist remarks. His favorite thing to do was act oppressed and show me the most obvious Russian propaganda that he would get upset at me for fact-checking and asking for real sources. He wanted to argue, so what he hated most was when I refused to argue with him. Nothing I said was going to change his mind, so I wasn't going to humor or tolerate it (we didn't last long after that point, but by that time, I was afraid of leaving without an excuse that would be "good enough" for him). He legitimately wants civil war so that he can play survival hero and feel validated in his hatred. It didn't come on quickly and a lot of the comments started as "odd" off the cuff things through the time that we dated. He was very much pretending to be a kind person and once really called out, that pretense dropped. He thought I was more like him and that a lot of my regard and kindness for others is "fake." Because that's what a lot of people like that do - they fake being kind for optics, they are not actually kind people, and therefore presume that everyone else is doing the same thing. It's given me major trust issues.
Can't say this enough: these people feel validation in their bigotry when you continue to associate with them. They need to be dropped. They need to learn that their shitty beliefs mean that they get shunned. Make them feel uncomfortable. Quit tiptoeing around and coddling their delicate little feelings because they might get upset. It's okay for them to get upset because someone was mean and told them they don't like them because they think gay and trans people shouldn't exist. I once made a post about how a raped 11 year old child should never be expected to give birth, was told that it was "god's will" and like 5 people piled on the guy so badly he told us to stop being "mean" to him and was terrified to talk to me at work ever again (I have since cut all ties and no longer work with him). I'm personally extremely tired of playing nice for the sake of possibly "converting" someone - especially because you can be polite in telling someone to fuck off with their beliefs. Their beliefs are dangerous, are going to result in people losing their lives, and a frightening number of them are completely okay with that. We need to stop being tolerant of intolerance. It is okay to cut people (including family) from your life when all their presence does is bring you stress and harm.
In a similar vain, don't let the people who chose not to vote (or "protest voted") stick their heads in the sand to escape blame. They are just as culpable as anyone else who directly voted for Trump and other conservatives. They need to grow the fuck up.
For a lot of liberals, it's really uncomfortable to be confrontational and feel like you're being intolerant of someone, but it's way past time to play hardball and call them out instead of coddling them, especially as we're going into the holiday season where many of us will be seeing family with shitty views and targeted family that may need someone to stand up for them. Let them know they're shitty and inappropriate and a disappointment and unworthy of your regard because they certainly lack it for others. Obviously still be safe, but many of us very likely aren't losing anything of value in that scenario. Not having bigoted family members in my life in any way has made me so much happier.
A helpful tip to those who may find themselves in a confrontation: do not stay engaged. Let your views be known and then disengage. Because many of them love to argue and feel like they're defending themselves (many are addicted to those feelings of hatred and overcoming "oppression"), what they don't like is being ignored and feeling like you're rinsing your hands of them. They don't deserve your stress and constant efforts. There are ways to open a dialogue when they are willing to discuss civilly with an open mind, but if they bring intolerance, just shut it down.
(via jhig8bd0cczd1.png (PNG Image, 744 × 810 pixels))
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Nxbxbbcbcbcbnxbxbxn
Today's episode heavy breathing was just everything
Moon shouldn't wait till Sun run away to go to him..
But I think that he just needed some time to think what to say..
Cause I knew it! He said to Solar that he said what was needed to be said.. which definitely implies that Moon was afraid that he'll say something insensitive or start yelling at Sun bxbxbxbbxbx
He didn't want that..
And yeeeessss Moon finally realized that no one expects him to fix everything QwQ
And that Sun doesn't need him.. and even if Moon might have said that because he hates himself..
I think that in this situation he meant that Sun isn't going to die without Moon because he's so dumb etc..
I think that Moon finally distanced himself from.. himself.. (edit: cause actually yeah after thinking about it more it really was more about how Moon hates himself and that Nexus was better and that Sun shouldn't choose him but Nexus that's why he said that Sun doesn't need him nxnxnnxnxnxn I was happy too quickly QwQ)
Hdndnndndnndndndn
Which allowed him to see Sun for who he is.. for how awesome brother Sun is.. and to why Sun loves Nexus and that's why he said that he would still be Sun's brother even if Sun loved Nexus more than him and even if Sun chose Nexus to live because he regretted killing Nexus bxbxbxbbxbxb QwQ
I'm so happy that despite Moon being afraid to be left by Sun he put Sun's feelings first.. he was considerate about Sun's feelings QwQ bxbxnxnnxnxnxn
Moon really is trying his best.. it makes me so emotional QwQ 💞
Also Lunar whyyyyy jxnxnxnxnnx
Yes Sun shouldn't be held captive but Lunar should still know where Sun is or if he's away for a long time he should call him or something..
Like Sun shouldn't go out or be left alone for too long.. not in this state..
I hope that Solar and Moon will have a talk and Moon will apologize for getting to upset at Solar especially cause Solar told him such a nice thing and he was right that Sun needed to talk to Moon QwQ
And now onto Sun..
Hooo boi..
Sun can't hate Nexus which is not surprising to me at all..
And ofc Sun said that maybe he doesn't need Moon but he wants him in his life.. which I always knew..
And I think that this is exactly what Dark Sun was unable to understand.. or maybe he understood this while talking with Moon?
But at the same time I'm still angry that he traumatised Sun so much with forcing him to choose to kill his brother and that I think that he knew that Ruin put that bomb in Nexus' chest which is why Sun's magic killed Nexus bxbxbbxbddn
But the most important part I wanted to point out from today's episode is that Sun didn't agreed nor accept Moon's words of support nxnxnnxnxnxnxnxn
Which means that Sun doesn't agree with Moon that he's a good brother QwQ
He also still doesn't want to shout out what weigh on him..
And he didn't thank Moon bxbxbbx
Cause I think that Nexus' words truly felt like proof to Sun.. proof that he's a terrible person actually..
This is so awfully relatable..
Cause at first I thought that maybe it'll be the time for Sun to open up but noooo
And it's so relatable QwQ
Sun wanted to have Moon as a brother.. he wanted to have Nexus as a brother.. he wanted to have a family..
Damn it QwQ
And I only say that Nexus is damn liar xnnxnxnnxnxn (cause I watched the podcast)
I think that he blames everything on Sun cause it's easier to hate a person he loved the most..
Like no one knows that Nexus had that vivid dream - except Monty bxbxbxbbxbx
No one knows that Nexus was afraid of Sun dying..
Nexus was so worried but his worries were constantly ignored..
This is what is the most sad thing to me.. that Nexus never talked to Sun about anything..
They both loved each other so much and yet..
And also ha ha I don't believe that Nexus wanted to kill Sun the most..
Such bs when he never even hurt Sun at all - physically I mean..
I'll die on the hill that Nexus actually cared deeply about Sun but he was just confused..
It's not Sun's fault.. again..
And also people completely forgot that Moon's computer constantly was comparing Nexus to Moon - saying that Nexus is dumb compared to Moon and it tried to and downloaded all the knowledge into Nexus' head..
But no "it was all Sun bla bla bla"
Nexus never wanted to talk to Sun about anything.. he only yelled so Sun stopped mentioning Moon..
Maybe if Nexus talked with Sun like a normal person.. then maybe he'd learn that Sun still loved Moon despite all the abuse.. and then if he allowed Sun to talk about the past and grieve and move on and also talk about his own insecurities etc then Sun would definitely apologized and he'd give Nexus space to be his own person..
But also he actually gave him that space.. he saw how much Solar was making Nexus happy so he didn't bother them.. but also Nexus is such a liar cause he obviously enjoyed playing games with Sun.. they had so much fun.. he wasn't threatening Sun like Moon used to do.. and also Sun never wanted Nexus to fix everything.. and definitely not on his own..
And I think that Nexus knows that..
But I think that the fear of Sun dying was too much so it broke Nexus..
And it was easier for him to hate Sun then even admit that..
Nexus knows that he wasn't the best to Sun like he claims himself to be.. but he can't admit his wrongs..
Just like Moon used to do..
Solar was right that Nexus isn't that much different from Moon but he doesn't want to admit it..
And yet Nexus claimed to be the Moon cause he called Moon a knockoff..
I think that Nexus loved Sun deeply but he also couldn't admit to being wrong..
His ego is what destroyed him actually..
That's why he acted like Creator.. cause I was thinking for quite some time that the more egotistic Nexus was the more he acted like Creator.. cause Creator made them.. so he became like Creator who is a pure ego..
And also Nexus saying that Sun would probably purposely hurt him.. yeah sure Jan keep lying to yourself..
Like they say whatever makes you sleep better, right Nexie ^^
Poor Sun loves Nexus so much yet he has to suffer now because Nexus pretended till the end that he never cared and hates Sun 🥺😭💔
#sun and moon show#sams#sams sun#sams moon#sams nexus#sams solar#sams spoilers#laes lunar#laes earth#laes monty#eaps spoilers#sams creator#sun is so me#bxbxbbxbx#sams dark sun
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SYMPHONIC INSANITY || INANIMATE INSANITY AU
(actual deets below the read more)
hi guys I have no idea how to format this shit, I'm not new to tumblr but I've never actually thrown out my ideas for AUs into the wild. i'm a violinist and i'm using my experience being in some form of orchestra for half my life to write this yippee. alot of this au also draws from my experience being in my current community orchestra :]
inanimate insanity, except they're all in an symphony orchestra!
i literally came up with this yesterday, so things will probably change as time goes on. check back on this post for edits. however, i'm mostly confident with the assignments i've given everyone. deets below the cutoff.
SOME THINGS TO NOTE:
I like ships. I will tag them accordingly but just be aware that Toipad and Knifecase will probably be talked about when I post about this au
Everyone is fully humanized (including Meeple devices and bot)! There are no fantastical elements to this au.
I am confident on the assignment of instruments, minus the brass section lol. I saw a lot of people that played brass instruments respond to my post so if you guys have better suggestions, feel free to give your input on that. However, I am unlikely to change the string instrument assignments. I'm not even religious, but god came down and told me that Lightbulb is a violist.
With that, anything is bound to change because this au is still pretty new.
The events of Symphonic Insanity are not a one-to-one match with the events of II! However, there are parts of the au that do line up with events or character roles/arcs in the show.
I'm not sure yet what I'll do with this au, I'll probably draw art here and there and maybe put some writing on AO3.
ALSO I AM NOT A BAND KID. If I get anything wrong, please let me know!!
Also if you have questions, feel free to ask me! I love yapping about this au. Plus, it'd help me continue to flesh things out.
All posts about this au will be under the hashtag #Symphonic Insanity
MePhone is a conductor familiar with the music scene. He becomes the director of a small orchestra, finding local musicians willing to join. This initial group consists of the season 1 contestants.
They have a concert which draws more attention to the orchestra, and the new group of people that join are the season 2 contestants. Along with that, MePad and Toilet join in as conductors.
After another performance, more people are drawn to the orchestra and this last group of newcomers are the season 3 contestants.
In the beginning, MePhone's orchestra is tiny and he's kinda just handling everything by himself. After their first concert and the addition of Toilet and MePad (along with some others), Mephone now has a team to help him run everything. The orchestra gains attention and popularity overtime, which gets the attention of Steve Cobs.
Steve Cobs is Mephone's estranged father, for good reason (I also imagine Mephone is adopted in this au?). Cobs originally was a solo violinist when he was younger. In the present, he is an influential figure in the music world. Maybe a professor at some school or the head of a music association? A distinguished composer? Who knows, but he's definitely highly regarded.
The growing popularity of Mephone's orchestra would put him on Cobs' radar, chaos ensues... but that's for later.
The story I want to go for with Symphonic Insanity is that of growth. I think quite a few characters would have arcs as musicians that would match/relate to their arcs in the show. I realize writing this that the nice thing about this au is that nobody is competing against each other. At least, they shouldn't be. Instead, they are all working towards the same goal--to put on a good show and improve as musicians.
Everything I laid out above is the general idea of the au. Everything will probably get fleshed out with art or writing as time goes on. With that being said, here are the assigned instruments/roles for everybody:
NON-MUSICIANS
Conductors:
Mephone
Mepad
Toilet
Staff:
Cabby (Logistics)
The Floor (Finances)
Bow (Social Media Management)
Dough (Sound Tech, handles getting recordings and helps out with misc tasks. Also Dough does play the piano, but he just doesn't perform with the orchestra.)
MUSICIANS
Strings
Violin:
Silver Spoon
OJ
Test Tube
Pepper
Salt
Viola:
Clover
Paper
Lightbulb
Bot
Cello:
Soap
Paintbrush
Baseball (can also play Bass)
Bass:
Pickle
Woodwinds
Piccolo:
Balloon
Flute:
Suitcase
Marshmellow
Apple
Clarinet:
Taco
Tea Kettle
Oboe:
Goo
Bassoon:
Nickel
Brass
Trumpet:
Trophy
Knife (for some reason, I am tempted to give Knife Bass Clarinet)
Tuba:
Tissues
Bomb
Trombone:
Cheesy
French Horn:
Blueberry
Percussion
I usually see percussionists being able to play multiple instruments so the ones outside of Piano and Harp aren't strict assignments.
Piano:
Fan
Microphone
Harp:
Candle
Marimba:
Cherries
Timpani:
Lifering
Misc/Plays multiple instruments:
Yin Yang
Aaaand that's everything you need to know about Symphonic Insanity! At least for now. Like I said, art and writing will come in the future if I don't lose steam lol. I do have some posts planned already but I think this is a good start. I hope y'all like it :D
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* 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
feel free to change pronouns / wording!
— " one of these has to say what happened. " — " prepare to be detained! " — " i'm so glad you're here, which way's the exit? " — " we told you to never come back here. " — " why are we all yelling? " — " no need for violence. " — " thanks for the head start, do you want to give me another one? " — " alright, all clear. " — " i had to jump out of a window this time, almost died, it was wild. " — " i need a new best friend. " — " don't you want to choose your own path, do whatever you want? " — " your feelings get you in trouble. " — " i don't like how fast you answered that. " — " i'm sorry that i somehow gave you the impression that we're friends. " — " could you please exit the tunnel of death? " — " if i get fired because of you— " — " next time why don't you stop and think before you ruin someone's life. " — " my finger can transform, guess which one? " — " you know you were out of line. " — " aren't you tired of being treated like we're nothing? " — " i'm glad you were there with me to get punched in the face, it was fun. " — " humility and presence, that's leadership. " — " what if i kill you for waking me up. " — " don't be a glitch, this'll be totally be worth it. " — " it's time to show them we are more than meets the eye. " — " if we survive this, i'm going to kill you. " — " do not worry, you will be fixed up in no time. " — " i'm not talking to you. " — " i thought you weren't talking to me. " — " i am less mad at you. " — " please stop punching me in the face. " — " i'm gonna need you to talk less. " — " i think this is not right, we should go. " — " it's scanning for life forms, move, move! " — " a cave with teeth... nothing scary about that. " — " why shouldn't we? just walking into the scariest place i've ever seen in my entire life. " — " you deserved so much better than this end. " — " you have not been saved, you've been living a lie. " — " i swear, i will get you the rest. " — " every single day of my life has been a lie. " — " how could we have been so gullible? " — " you just had to do it, didn't you? " — " nothing bad happens when you stay on protocol. " — " you're never thinking about anything else, just yourself. " — " i want him to suffer and then to die in darkness. " — " how you choose to use that power is up to you. " — " i still think we have better odds fighting than outrunning them. " — " traitor. you are a disgrace. " — " you've been a little quiet... " — " i will never trust a so-called leader ever again. " — " are you spies? or just incompetent lackeys. " — " you think you can insult me and just walk away? " — " no one leaves here unless i say so. " — " this is the last time i show mercy. " — " i feel like someone dropped a cliff on me. " — " this is a disaster. " — " it's all my fault. " — " i'm better than you. " — " i'm better than you in every way except you have hope. " — " first time giving a pep talk? " — " you're inspiring. " — " why should we follow you? " — " i don't understand, why are we still alive? " — " i'm not kneeling in front of you. " — " you don't scare me. " — " i don't have anything left to lose. " — " what defines a transformer is not the cog in its chest, but the spark that resides in their core. " — " the truth is what i make it. " — " relax! i'm being very gentle! " — " it was already like that. " — " he took everything from us! " — " he deserves to die, can't you see that? " — " you need to move out of my way, before i move you myself. " — " i'm done saving you. " — " no more false prophets! " — " it's over. " — " it's over when every last one of his followers is dead. " — " we could've built the future together. " — " we were given the power to change our world and you chose to destroy it. " — " you betrayed me. " — " it didn't have to end this way. " — " the line between friend and enemy is not as clear as i once believed, once it's crossed, there's no going back. " — " i hear it's dangerous. " — " you watch my back, i'll promise to watch yours. " — " it's a long story, i'll fill you in later. "
#transformers one#tf one#( sentence. )#sentence starters#sentence meme#rp meme#rp starters#action#sci-fi#movies
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Adam was laying down on his bed, not really in the mood to talk to anyone, were never in the mood. Being in this hellhole with the same people that made him like this, but what could he do? He had nowhere else to go. There was a mistake, he shouldn't have been in hell, Sera would've came and take him, she had to!
There was a knock on the door, Adam didn't bothered to sit up, so he just opened one eye, raising his head to look at the door, he exhaled and laid back down, he just wasn't in the fucking mood.
Yet the person opened the door anyway, the short figure came in, Lucifer, of course, Charlie should've told him about Adam. "Hey there, big complaining machine." Lucifer said, trying to sound playful, but he was feeling kind of nervous.
"Don't ever call me that again." Adam said with a growl, slowly starting to sit up. "What do you want now..." Lucifer stayed silent for a few moments before sighing."straight to the point, okay... Charlie told me what have you been going through and, I'm here to help! Basically."
Adam looked at him, raising a brow, before smirking "you? Me? Help?? Hah, what do you want from me seriously." Lucifer knew it was hard to believe for Adam, despite everything Lucifer did to him... "I know , 'unbelievable! You can never help-' but I'm serious.." Lucifer sighed and took off his hat, failing to hide his real expression on his face "I know whatever I did made you think I'm a backstabber and never cared for you, but I'm sorry, I did a mistake in past, now I'm trying to fix it..."
Lucifer took a deep breath and looked at Adam with determination
"Will you forgive me?"
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I don't usually like to comment much on stuff like this, but I'll give it just this once. Because there's been something I've been wanting to say and I think this moment is the right time to say it? (Please pretend you don't see any typos or grammar issues, I'm trying my best after a concussion I got recently.)
Helluva Boss respects its audience.
Our beloved demon show is full of jokes, gags, visual and audio stimulation, and more. It's wild, it's silly, it's emotional, and it's weird. All of which are good things, imo.
But when I say it respects it's audience, I mean the show (the writers, producers, etc) trusts us (the viewers) to understand what they're trying to say without necessarily saying it aloud.
I don't have to provide screenshots by now, and I won't because I'm tired, sorry. But we've all seen the evidence that there is a big class divide in Hell. Since this divide places imps near the bottom, we see the world of Hell from the bottom tier* (or close to it, I'll touch on that in a little bit) because imps make up a lot of the named characters.
Even ignoring every instance of "small/tiny" said by multiple characters, we get a line from Striker about how it's impressive for an imp (Blitzø) to own their own business.
We see imps in difficult and humiliating service roles to the higher ranking members of society.
Seemingly successful imps like Crimson shouldn't be considered the standard by any means. We found out that his "business" was failing. He tried marrying off Moxxie to get whatever fortune Chaz had amassed (even if it did turn out that Chaz was penniless himself & had lied).
I highly doubt that Crimson's criminal empire really fell to pieces because one little Moxxie ditched him. The system is rigged against Crimson and the only way he could try to get ahead was by running a literal mob/mafia group.
We were shown through world-building and snippets of dialogue that imps haven't been treated fairly in society.
Helluva Boss told us all of this without characters breaking the 4th wall like a 1990's Saturday morning cartoon educational end segment. They pulled a "show, don't tell," on us, and I respect them so much for it.
And I don't want to be too harsh to those who didn't catch it earlier. It's totally fair and understandable to miss these things. Which is why I think they had Millie be the one to spell it out for everyone.
An imp, from a presumably poorer background (edit at the bottom**) than her two imp coworkers, was the one who put into words that imps are seen as "less than" by just about everyone else. She's our down-to-earth, badass character, who has no reason to just make up excuses for why things are so difficult in life. If Millie is acknowledging the classism, it's serious.
Personally, I think a lot of reactors get caught up in the act of reacting and don't get the chance to take in the media they're watching. Yall know that moment when someone shows you a video on their phone and you have to watch the video knowing that the person is watching you watch it?
Yeah, I imagine it's something like that. In not sure I'd come up with the best takes if I knew people were waiting for me to make online content about other online content.
* One slight add-on here is that Hellhounds appear to be below imps in social standing. Blitzø is seemingly able to walk into a shelter/kennel and take his pick of Hellhounds to adopt. So if I had to guess, imps may rank a little above Hellhounds. But honestly I'm just so tired and I think I'm gonna have to call it on the analysis here. Sorry!
I've had so much respect for this show since I first saw Harvest Moon Festival with the way they treat the world building.
** sorry I think I worded this differently than I intended, and I'm not even gonna blame the concussion this time. What I meant was maybe Millie wasn't necessarily closer to/deeper in poverty than Blitzø during their youth/early adult life (Moxxie seemed better off than both). I meant that it seemed like she stayed "poorer" for longer? In the sense that Blitzø was already working for himself when they met; he seemed to already be surviving on his own and was able to save money to start IMP and give them an office. My stupid brain is a mess, again sorry for being weird.
Danny Motta so fundamentally misunderstands Blitz and it boils my blood. Oh well. I will not elaborate.
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Supernova Adelaide 2024 Report!!!!
I didn’t actually spend too long at Supernova though, so this doesn’t exactly count as a whole report technically LOL
Anyhoo!
The last convention of 2024! Time really has flown, hasn’t it?
I cosplayed as Ayase Momo from the hit series Dandadan!! I went with my good friend (@piedivide) who was Okarun from also the hit series Dandadan (go watch/read it NOW).
We had loads of fun doing various things that I wanted to write down! ✌︎('ω')✌︎
All under the cut!
Pre-Con!
I woke up at 8am to get ready, since I wasn't trying to get to the convention early as the other times. I knew it would only take me an hour or two, tops.
I have to be honest here.
I lied in my last report about a certain little aspect…I didn't have time to do a whole cosplay test AGAIN because of university. I had an assignment due the day before I was meant to go to the convention….
This is becoming a trend….
I had no idea how I would look like on the day, and I didn't have high hopes since I messed up the wig a little bit while trying to style it and it didn’t look like much on the actual wig stand.
I cut too much from the front so I wasn't able to do the swoopy parts Momo has in her hair. I also tried teasing for the first time, and that worked way better than I expected...but her hair doesn't have a lot of volume so I probably shouldn't have.
It happens.
While I was getting ready, I felt a little deflated because it didn't really look like anything at the time (despite not being done) but I trusted in the process. I did my usual makeup and…it all came out WAY better than I was expecting!
It wasn't so horrible!
I was really happy with the final look! I really thought I looked like Ayase Momo at the end!
As you may tell, this isn’t exactly the right outfit for Momo. I’m missing the earrings and the skirt is wayyy too long….
I have a simple answer for that.
The cosplay outfit I ordered didn’t come despite ordering it two months in advance to make sure it would be here and that I could actually try it on and whatnot.
Weh.
I ordered from AliExpress for the first time in September since Dandadan wasn’t airing at the time and I thought that they would be the only place who would have it. I ordered the school shoes and the wig from there as well.
The shoes and wig shipped pretty quickly, but not the outfit which shipped in the middle of October apparently???? I think this was my fault, I should have chosen a better shop to order from...I was the first sale...
I didn't even look, I just ordered blindly since the price was decent and it had everything I needed. The tracking hasn't updated since then either...I don’t think it’s going to come at all…
I was in a real pickle since I was meant to cosplay alongside Pie for AnimeGO and Supernova as Momo, and I couldn't be Momo without the outfit! I was seriously considering to do one of my previous cosplays instead as I told Pie.
That is, until he suggested that I should just make the outfit myself since it was pretty simple. I already had a skirt and a top from my Sucrose cosplay from last year that I could use, so it wasn't impossible!
All I needed was a jumper, leg warmers and red ribbon and I would have the outfit!
I couldn't give up that easily when I still had time. I had about a week or so to get everything before Supernova, since we decided not to cosplay for AnimeGO in the end because all of all this.
I ordered some leg warmers online first, then I got a pink jumper from Uniqlo that was the perfect shade (that Pie kindly went to buy for me since I couldn't get to the city, thank you once again!). I did have to buy a new white collared top at the end as Sucrose's had green accents that wouldn't work with Momo.
When I got ready, I headed out!
Fun fact, I hit my head on the car when I got to the station (I take the train to the city and back) and it knocked my wig back and kind of ruined all my pinning LOL
I got on the train which was rather packed much to my dismay. I sat behind these girls who had some rather riverting conversations about jeans and people. I arrived at the station where Pie was waiting for me, all dressed up as Okarun!
I walked over, and then I sped walked over because I felt like I was taking too long to get there LOL
The duo was together once again and ready to storm the convention as always! YOU LOOKED GREAT PIE!!!
Con!
(@/ai_zyu9 as Kangel and @/ztqrrz as Hu Tao on Instagram!!!)
Thanks for the photo!!! You two look amazing and I’m very happy you asked for a photo of us!
We didn't stay too long at Supernova. I think we were only there for an hour or so LOL, but we still had a lot of fun!
Pie and I arrived at the convention, phones out at the ready to scan our tickets. We saw a crowd of people in a certain direction so we went towards them, but man it was confusing. A sign kept pointing towards the food trucks to where we could get our wristbands for some reason.
Unless they gave out wristbands too, I doubt we had to go there.
We went closer to the entrance and we heard immediately that we had to go to the line that was behind us that was so easy to miss since it blended in with the surroundings. Why didn't they make that more clearer????
We got our wristbands at the end and headed in! It didn't look too different to last time, but the layout changed with some new stands and booths! There was a community library this time around that was filled with many manga that you could read and that was heaven to me.
I love manga. Did you know I can read a whole volume in 20min or less?
I am a quick reader. Pie can attest to that.
I uh...went a little crazy with the print buying. I spent wayyyy too much on these....
I couldn't help myself.
I got the Ellen Joe and Nicole Demara prints from Zenless Zone Zero because I love Ellen's design a lot and Nicole's poster looks really cool that I couldn't pass it up. The Bocchi the Rock one is very dynamic and I like the anime so I chose it too!
The Honkai Star Rail one is the print that Pie got me, it's our tradition to buy ourselves one print for each other when we go to a convention! (thank you so much againnnnnnnn).
I got a Tokyo Mew Mew print for myself because it was my first ever anime that I watched and I always wanted a print to reflect that! It's sort of the same case for the DDLC one, I was obsessed with it back in 2017 and I still like the game to this day.
I don't have space for all of these....help. I need to take down all my posters I already have up and start choosing which ones I want to display on my wall and what I want to put away.
The struggles.
I also was meant to have some square prints that I also bought but I didn’t get them at the end which kind of sucks….
After we looked around and bought what we wanted, we decided to eat something since we both skipped breakfast. I think it’s the general cosplayer’s experience to barely eat while at a convention and I don’t think that’s a good thing lol
We got crepes!
It was the only thing I actually ate all day (aside from some Pringles when I got back), which isn't that good for my health in retrospect aha
I got a Nutella and Strawberry one and it was really good and warm! I also managed to spill some on me and had to go down to the bathroom to wash it off because it managed to get on the very bottom of my jumper and I smudged it LOL
I managed to get most of it off with some water, so it was all fine! I should have eaten it facing the table so it wouldn't spill on me, but alas. I shouldn't eat anything Nutella in cosplay as I’ve realised, I will spill it on myself or on my glasses somehow (don’t ask).
Pie and I took some videos together before leaving the convention completely!
We went to a little corner outside of the pavilion and set up my tripod that I bought last year from Kmart! I always struggle getting my phone into the holder so Pie helps me with that...I have noodle arms as I like to call it.
I use TikTok to record! It has many sounds, various filters and a countdown that we can use. The only downside is that I have to post privately before I can download the video without a watermark, which is so stupid in my opinion!
Why did they change that?!
Anyhoo, we stalked TheAnimeMen account for sounds we could use, since they made a Dandadan music video and had recorded some with just Momo and Okarun! There were a few sounds we wanted to do, so we did them!
I kept messing up and I was probably the most silliest out of the both of us while on camera. I feel like I'm more oddly confident for some reason than in person, and I think that can be seen when you watch the videos I make.
(psst, go to @/mikudachii on TikTok to see or click here)
It was a lot of fun though!
At one point, we were scrolling through my saved sounds to see if we could do any of them, but it mostly made us laugh at how stupid some of them where. It also left me wondering why I saved half of them in the first place.
After that, we headed back to the city! We had places to be!
My feet were utterly killing me at that point, those school shoes aren't as comfortable as they look like. I had to sit down and change into my sneakers that I brought with me, knowing that this would probably happen.
My feet still kind of ache now.
Arcade!
We headed to the arcade!
Pie and I have always wanted to go in cosplay, but there weren't any proper ones in the city until rather recently ehe
There are a bunch up north called Timezone that we’ve been to at multiple locations, but it was crazy to think how the actual city itself didn't have a single proper arcade in it.
However, we finally got our chance when the Paradigm Arcade came about! It’s probably my favourite one out of all the ones I’ve been to, and I highly recommend going if you’re in Adelaide!
It is filled with many rhythm games that we enjoy a ton, like Chunithm and Sound Voltex and there's usually barely any people at those machines since no one knows what they are! It's literally the greatest thing ever.
It's perfect.
They recently got DDR that we got to try out! It’s an older version of it that has many different songs on it that we could choose from, including Pomp and Circumstance from Vocaloid??????
I love this song to bits (despite the questionable lyrics and uh…sounds) but I have never seen a rhythm game that had it before until that very moment. I was very overjoyed and immediately chose it without a second thought.
This machine was way more responsive than the newer ones I've tried, but I still suck at DDR so it didn't help as much in the end. They just got Dancerush Stardom and I’m so excited to try it out when I head back to the city!
I got to use gloves for the first time (I bought them the last time I was in the arcade) and it was very helpful for Chunithm since I always struggle with holding the slider, especially if it moves across the screen.
I got Joker Persona 5 and Ann Persona 5 in their dancing outfits, it was very cool!
I recorded many dumb videos for myself while waiting for my turn to play and watching Pie do his thing. I wonder if I’ll ever post any of them for the world to see, although it’s just me vibing in a dark place filled with lights lol
Ky Kiske Guilty Gear is that you????
I love how Pie immediately pointed that out, literally every single blond haired guy with blue eyes is automatically Ky in our brains. I mean…it does kinda look like him….
Guilty Gear is so peak, I highly recommend checking out the story and the wonderful music! You won’t regret it, trust me!
I main Elphelt in Strive and now I’m adding Dizzy to my list of mains! I love her design in this game to bits and her gameplay is fun! For Xrd, I main Jack-O’ and Elphelt! I’m not very good at either of them but it’s fun playing!
Here I go blabbing about Guilty Gear…maybe my brainrot will come back…..
We also played Maimai Fantasy!
It was a version we never played before since the Timezone arcade has Maimai Buddies. It had a whole bunch of things we can do aside from the rhythm game like collecting cheese and spreading honey on trees. It was a bit weird but it was still fun!
This machine is upstairs for some reason, while the rest of the machines are down in the basement floor. You also don’t have much space between the rail and the machine, but it’s okay! You don't complain when its there in the first place.
We were going to try out the Photo Booth before we left, but we ran out of credits so we didn’t bother. You can only recharge downstairs as the machine is there and we didn’t want to go back down again just for that.
We headed out after that!
Karaoke
It’s our tradition to go to karaoke after every convention!
This time around, there were certain Serbian songs I wanted to sing after becoming obsessed with them. My background is Serbian so I can speak it, but I feel like I barely show it off in general. This was my chance to show Pie some more songs!
The first one was Crno I Zlato from Seka Aleksic that I learnt first, the second was Ko Si Ti by Sasa Matic and Aleksandra Prijovic that I put my heart into and the third was Sve Bi Ja I Ti by Sasa Matic that Pie found a banger!
I'm glad I could sing them!
We then sang some sad songs, I did Shine like Rainbows from My Little Pony (the songs are good okay), then we did some songs together for fun! I liked when we did I Threw It On The Ground, a wonderful yet stupid song at the same time.
I think I called Pie stupid at one point by accident LOL (i'm sorry)
At the end, I showed off my epic rap skills but it didn't even have the second part of the song! ( 。 •`ᴖ´• 。)
The people working at the karaoke place seemed to have forgotten to turn us off since we had done about two hours and we could still sing, but we left regardless. I had a train to catch and I couldn't be late for that.
Sometimes I wish I lived in the city.
Going Home!
I thought heading home would be uneventful as usual, but I was proven wrong.
I had to change trains and go to a new platform right before I was meant to leave, which has never happened to me before. There was no explanation as to why aside from an announcement that I've never seen or heard in my life.
I found out that there's a tap for water in the station and some kind of lockers in the station this whole time??????
I’ve been in it since I was a kid…
I then had to scan my ticket again in the new train. I took too long getting my card out that I went in and I swear the security person was staring at me and putting me on their mental hit list or something for not scanning it right away LOL
While I was on the train, there was an announcement for ticket checking that I've also never heard before. I don't know why I'm only seeing these now but it's cool that they exist...although it felt like I was lowkey getting kidnapped or something.
Speaking of weird experiences....
As I was walking from the station platform to where I was being picked up by my mum, I could hear this creepy voice suddenly behind me. I swear to everything that I heard it, and it made me feel rather uncomfortable…
It kept talking about a girlfriend and what might happen if something happened to her and to make matters worse, there was a shadow behind me that wasn’t my own when I looked to the side. I didn't dare look back at the voice, but I didn't take my chances either.
Hell NO.
I started speed walking out of there across the tracks, not wanting to be near whoever the hell that was. There wasn't anyone behind me when I looked back (after getting closer to where my mum was), so I sort of filed away the experience as a figment of my imagination and left it at that.
Did I imagine it???? Maybe....
That's it for this report!
Thank you for reading it if you do, I always like making these! It gives me a chance to look back and reminisce about all the fun times I had in the future!
I can't wait for 2025!!! There are many big plans in store so look out!
Thank you for coming with me, Pie!! I always enjoy every time we go together and I know that we’re going to get even better and better at cosplaying!!!
I’m always very grateful that we have this opportunity to go!! :D
-Miku
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Barista Steve - Part 4
Summary: Finals have you super stressed out. Steve knows how to help with that.
Word Count: ~2k
Warnings: Bad parents, Dom/Sub dynamics, Smut. Please let me know if I missed any!
You were dealing with the big F's: Finals, Family and Fear of Failure. Your parents wouldn't stop reminding you of the importance of passing your exams. Your classes were incredibly difficult. And you didn't want to think about what would happen if you didn't pass one of your finals.
As you leave your latest study group, you see Steve waiting for you by his motorcycle. You're practically running to hug him, finding solace in his scent, his touch, his comforting words.
Steve has been frustrated by your situation as well. He knows you're not getting real support from your family. Well, not the kind of support that actually helps. More the kind of support that only makes things worse. He's doubtful of your defense of "they mean well". He's seen the effects of the stress and while he's worked hard to help mitigate them, there's only so much he can do.
The one big light at the end of the tunnel for both of you was your agreement to move in together as soon as you got your degree. Neither of you cared that your parents wouldn't approve of Steve, you both knew there'd be no one else for either of you. You took care of each other, supported each other, and you were tired of keeping him a dirty secret.
Besides, your parents had told you time and time again they wouldn't support you forever. Part of you knows you should've moved out sooner, but it was a truth you couldn't realize until you got a taste of what you really wanted. Steve definitely provided that. You'd be forever grateful to him for his patience.
"Hey there, Good Girl," Steve coos into your ear. "I figured you could use a break. A chance to shut down your brain."
"That sounds perfect, Sir," you agree. "Need to let my brain relax."
"Then let's put your choker on and get your helmet."
Steve didn't take you to the studio like you thought he would. Instead he parked the motorcycle outside of one of your favorite diners. The constriction of the choker reminds you that he's in charge, you're not to question his commands, but you can't hide the look of confusion on your face.
He sees your face and puts his hand on the back of your neck, "I need to take care of my Good Girl and I know you haven't been eating well lately. So we're going to get you food, water. And remember, I'll order for you so you don't have to waste brain power."
"Thank you, Sir," you happily sigh. You've been subsisting on granola bars and coffee lately. Your stomach rumbles at the thought of real food.
Steve orders you both moderately sized meals. He knows you need to eat but too much food could hurt you just as much as the too little you've had lately. He also makes sure you both drink water. He doesn't want to be unfair and order something for himself that you can't or shouldn't eat and he knows you need to hydrate. Especially after you start drinking your water and it's gone in a blink!
After the meal you're starting to feel sleepy. Steve kisses your forehead and says he's taking you to his place. Again, you're confused that you're not going to the studio but you don't question. You just enjoy holding onto him while riding his motorcycle. Breathing in his scent, feeling his muscled torso underneath your arms. The cold wind doesn't bother you much because he's just so warm.
Steve walks you up to his apartment. You hope it'll be both of yours soon. He directs you inside and tells you to wait for him in the bedroom. You don't need to be told twice.
Once inside the bedroom, you drop to your knees and let your arms relax as you wait for his orders. It's taken a lot of time and effort but you've learned how to shut down the part of your brain that feels bad for "sitting around doing nothing". Wearing the choker, feeling it every time you breath, is a good reminder and a good focus to keep you from fidgeting and thinking about what's next.
Steve walks in wearing nothing but a pair of low hanging grey sweatpants. You fight the urge to moan at the view of his tattooed, muscly torso while your pussy clenches. He steps in front of you. "Undress," he orders.
You stand as you hurry to obey. When you're fully naked you successfully fight the urge to try to cover yourself with your arms. You never have to feel ashamed in front of Steve. He's told you time and time again how much he loves seeing all of you. He's shown you as well.
"Good Girl," he purrs. He brings out a skimpy but soft looking nightgown. "Arms up."
You raise your arms and he puts the nightgown on you. It fits perfectly, like you knew it would. Steve always seems to know what feels comfortable for you. Knows what you need and how you need it. It's why you trust him enough to shut your brain down around him.
He caresses your cheek, eyes full of love, before pulling back the blankets on the bed. "Now lay down on your side for some cuddles."
You practically leap onto the bed in eagerness. Cuddles with Steve are always so restful and generally lead to more. A part of you is worried that you're going to fall asleep, but you quiet that down. You're following Sir's orders, being his Good Girl. He knows what he's doing.
Steve gets into the bed and holds you from behind. You've never felt so safe and warm as you do in these moments. He gently caresses you, giving you occasional kisses to the top of your head. Your eyelids are getting so heavy. He whispers, "go ahead and sleep, Good Girl. Pretty sure you need it. I'll hold you the entire time."
He says more but your brain doesn't processes anything other than that he's talking, it just drifts off to sleep.
You're not sure how long you slept for, but every part of you knows you needed that sleep. True to his word, Steve is still holding you and you smile in appreciation, small tears forming in the corner of your eye. You feel Steve stir and he squeezes you tight.
"Did you sleep well?" He yawns and kisses the top of your head.
"Yes, Sir."
"Glad to hear it," he mumbles as he continues to kiss you. You can feel his erection against your ass and fight the urge to roll your hips against him. "My Good Girl needed some rest, didn't she?"
"Yes, Sir," you rasp. Your need is building. He can definitely hear it in your voice because he softly chuckles against your skin.
"I think my Good Girl needs something else now," he purrs into your ear, sending electricity straight to your core.
He moves his hand down your body and reaches underneath the nightgown. You understand now why it was so skimpy; not only did it show off plenty of skin, but it gave him ready access to everything. He starts rubbing his fingers along you folds as he nibbles gently on your shoulder, making you whimper.
"I'm going to get on my back and you're going to sit on my face," he tells you. "No hovering."
"Yes, Sir," you whimper, both excited and nervous. Steve had a tendency to get lost in the taste of your pussy, making you overstimulated.
Before he lets you go he whispers, "what's your safe word?" You tell him and he thanks you before rolling onto his back.
You're quick to move into position, but you still let yourself enjoy the sight of Steve's body, his erection making a prominent tent in his sweatpants. As you're settling onto his face, Steve is already pinning you to him and devouring you. His strong hands hold you in place as he uses his tongue to reach all of your favorite spots. They're some of his favorite, too, because of the sounds the elicit from you.
The headboard is the only thing you can grasp and you do so with all your might as the first orgasm of many hits you hard and you cry out from pleasure. A small part of your brain realizes how much you've been needing this as it feels like everything in your system is finally unclenching from all your stress. It's only been a minute or so and your limbs are already feeling like jelly.
After the second orgasm, you're already crying from relief and pleasure. You repeatedly rasp, "thank you, Sir," not knowing if Steve can actually hear it or not. You try to roll your hips, a silent plea for him not to stop. He responds with a squeeze to your hips, an acknowledgement of your request as he adjusts just enough to reach that one spot he knows drives you crazy. He smiles as you cry out from the sensation and ride his face like your life depended on it. He keeps going until you cum on his face a third time.
He slows to a stop as your body goes lax, tears flowing freely down your face. He gently maneuvers you so that you're beside him, still repeating your mantra of "thank you, Sir". He looks you over but doesn't pick up on anything worrisome. "How's my Good Girl doing?"
"Thank you, Sir," you whimper. "Thank you for taking care of me."
He kisses along your cheeks where your tears are falling. "Such a Good Girl. But we're not done yet. Lay on your stomach."
As soon as you turn, Steve spreads your legs. "Such a pretty pussy," he groans. He kneads your ass cheeks for a bit before kissing up along your spine until he's covering you like a weighted blanket. He wraps one of his arms around so that he's got a hold on your throat. He kisses you once again before he roughly pushes his cock into you.
"Best pussy I've ever felt," he tells you as he starts up a brutal pace that has you keening. "Taking my cock like the good girl you are," he praises. "Taking everything I give you and begging for more."
"S--S--Sir," you croak.
"Cum for me," he orders. Your body automatically obeys. "That's my Good Girl," he groans as your pussy squeezes him tight. "Fucking you brain dead feels so good." You moan in response to his words. "You like being fucked like this? You like when my cock makes you dumb?"
"Y--Yes, Sir!"
He licks along the back of your neck, making you squeal. "I need one more from you." He readjusts you so you're slightly on your knees, making his cock feel so much deeper. He resumes the brutal pace and you start to see stars from the pleasure. "Cum for me, Good Girl."
Your body obliges and you cum with a lewd sob. He's quick to follow with a few grunts before he lets go of your throat and starts giving you small kisses along your back.
He pulls out of you with a soft hiss and immediately goes into aftercare mode. He removes your choker, cleans you up, and gives you reassurances as he holds you.
Finals are done. You've officially completed your degree. You opt to not go to the graduation ceremony, too many people. You've moved in with Steve, much to your parents' disbelief and outrage. They called you a lot of not very nice things that only reaffirmed your choice to get away from them.
One of Steve's friends at his art studio actually got you connected with a well paying job near the apartment. You were happy to finally be contributing financially. More importantly, Steve didn't object to you having your own bank account. Steve never wanted you to feel you had to be with him because of finances. He wanted you to have agency. It was something you'd probably spend forever getting used to.
Thankfully, Steve had the patience to help you out.
Okay, so this series is done, right? Barista Steve won't continue to bug me, right?!
Edit: Part 3/Series Masterlist
Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @ronearoundblindly
#steve rogers x female!reader#steve rogers x reader#barista!steve rogers#college student!reader#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x you
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my dad: *telling me i do have socialization deficits, that i need to step out more and interact with people and look like i am part of the environment and that i am "there" and present*
me, knowing damn well i have socialization deficits and feeling overwhelmed in social situations, especially when I don't feel like i fit and when I don't know the other people: ... okay
my dad: did you get upset with me telling you this?
me, dissociating so I don't start crying in front of him: ... no
#like it's not that I think he shouldn't have told me that#because unless he tells me i have no idea what he's thinking and I'll just go about doing my stuff#but it's kinda upsetting to know that on those situations that I'm feeling like shit and wanting to cry#and that i just start using reading as a way to feel better on the situation#I'm actually looking like j don't wanna be there at all and that I'm in a bad mood#like- i am not. I'm just so overwhelmed that I can't think straight so i need to use this to regulate#maybe if i start using a sign saying “I'm not upset if you wanna talk just start the conversation” things might work#idk it's frustrating bc it's not that I don't wanna interact at all it's just so fucking hard#and i feel like ppl knowing that you're neurodivergent means that they can isolate you instead of just looking for better ways to interact#this is so fucked up#like yeah i can make an effort and mask as i do all the fucking time#but at the same time i know that the main reason i do this is bc ppl also don't wanna look for other interaction options#anyway that was a big rant#autism#actually autistic#autistic#neurodivergent#personal#life stuff
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How long will you be bed ridden once you've got rid of the tonhongerekoogers?
Dr. Boobs said that I'll be on my feet and operating normally after about the first week, but w a very limited range of motion. depending on how I react to the anesthesia (some feel very sick), I could be fucked up for the first few days / first week, but I could also be strolling around and chilling two days into the healing. don't really know yet!
#he told me in very perky fashion that this surgery has a short recovery time#that ppl generally start going back to work after a week and can do cardio-like activities after two or three#but that I shouldn't even fucking THINK about trying to raise my arms over my head for MANY weeks#and I shouldn't lift anything even REMOTELY heavy for the first 10.#so my life should be PRETTY normal pretty quickly- not bed ridden but not COMPLETELY fine#I'm going to have t-rex arms and won't be able to wear shirts that don't button or zip in the front basically#and I'll have to sleep like a dumbass (on my back)#that's the part I'm dreading the most#sergle answers
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i personally think there was no need to make remarks about age
#i dont need to feel any more ashamed about this when i shouldn't feel ashamed about this in the first place#because three years is not a HUGE difference. it IS an age gap but it isn't a GIGANTIC red flag-waving age gap.#but i guess for a guy it is if the girl is older#but anyway man it was comment after comment line after line and i felt like i was standing in front of a firing squad#not gonna lie my whole chest literally hurts when i think about it too deeply!#i have literally never been told before that i'm not an option because i'm too old#i also personally (and this is a bit bitter of me to say so maybe) i resent the fact that he did take the time to tell me that he was not#personally attracted to me. and then add at the end of the conversation that if i were younger he'd consider it#like. you literally told me you don't like me that way and aren't attracted to me that way#so the only reason you'd consider me as an option really is the fact that you know I'M interested in you ????#anyway makes me want to throw up:)#the waiting room chapter
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Not to tell you how to post, but someone who reblogged your don’t look to influencers post posted a death threat @ misha. you’re-only-gay-once
hi anon, thank you for letting me know!
while i HEAVILY disagree with most of misha's take on the genocide performed by isreal towards palestine, threatening death and/or violence against another human being for their opinion on a very nuanced and complicated topic is NOT something i'm okay with.
if you want to educate someone, telling them to commit suicide is NOT helpful and it will actively turn someone against you, no matter their want to be educated on said topic. besides that, it's an abhorrent thing to say to another human being. adults should know better than to say any of that shit, and so should misha collins have to even open his gob about the topic at all, but that is NOT an excuse for others to tell him to end his life or to "kill him with hammers".
please stop giving attention to celebrities when it comes to these topics in general, and instead focus your attention and effort in getting legislators and world leaders to call for a ceasefire. THAT is the most important thing right now.
#and i have said before “violence is never the answer. it's the question and the answer is yes” this is absolutely NOT the case with misha#and this is in no way me coddling misha collins either. he SHOULD be held accountable. he NEEDS to correct his stance#but he shouldn't be send death threats or be told to kill himself. whoever thinks that's coddling..#serious asks#suicide ment#suicide cw#cw suicide#suicide mention#palestine#misha collins#anyway i really don't like talking about this. i am castielsprostate. not castielspoliticalopinions
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okay no but thinking about ritsu with tourette’s, right? and this boy is like… the king of suppression because he feels like he needs to be the perfect student and son and all that jazz and he’s also so embarrassed by the fact that he can’t control his body. so he suppresses like there’s no tomorrow and it hurts so much but he does it anyways. he lets himself tic at home, but even then he’s so used to suppression he forces it to be mild so his family thinks it’s better than it is. he lets loose more in his room by himself, but even then he sometimes has trouble doing it. he frequently has tic attacks in his room:/
anyways so let’s say one day mob and reigen and serizawa and teru and tome and shou and dimple are all at spirits and such, right? and like ritsu has student council stuff or something idk anyways and serizawa asks reigen where he gets his fidget toys because one of his classmates has ts and has been searching but can’t find any they like. and before reigen can respond, mob speaks up and is like “oh you should ask ritsu” and everyone just. stares at him because reigen has like a box of fidget toys in his office and an individual stress ball for each person and ritsu has quite literally never used them. and they’re like “why?” so mob is like “he has some fidget toys in his room—he doesn’t really take them places. i don’t know why he doesn’t. they really help his ts”. and everyone just stares x2
so eventually, reigen is like “ritsu has ts???” and mob just cocks his head and says “yes??? did you guys not know this?” and absolutely NONE of them knew he had ts because ritsu is THAT good at suppressing and if he’s in a position where he can’t suppress, he finds a way to leave so he’s alone. and like mob didn’t fully realize that ritsu was suppressing because he lives with ritsu and sometimes hears it from his room and sees it at dinner and he notices the little signs that other people don’t see unless they know and he’s like “you… really didn’t know??? does he not tic around you guys?” and then everyone comes to the realization that ritsu is HARDCORE suppressing
anyways i think it’d be sweet if reigen sat down and talked with him and ritsu is super stand-offish at first and snappy and then reigen says something like “we’d rather have you as you are—you don’t need to try to be the perfect ritsu because you’re already the perfect ritsu” or something along those lines. and ritsu starts having a breakdown and like it takes awhile for him to be comfortable ticcing in public. he starts small with the spirits and such gang and then slowly lets it happen during school and stuff and everyone is just. so proud of him. he’s less tense all the time and it helps him be more vocal about when he’s in pain and needs help and he starts to actually use his fidget toys and. yeah. feelings.
#oops this got longer than i intended uhhhhhhh#anyways i just think he has ts#he told me personally#and i just think that ritsu slowly becoming comfortable enough with everyone around him to simply BE himself and like him realizing that he#he isn't embarrassing to be around and that just having ts isn't embarrassing and just like. reigen giving him massages for free and teru#finding fun kt tape for him to use and shou giving heated massages and serizawa picking up fidget toys he thinks ritsu would like and tome#and tome and dimple just supporting him and calling him out if he's being all broody and self-deprecating about it (in a Good way not mean#way) and then mob sitting him down and having a serious talk about emotions and pain and suppressing with him and how he shouldn't do that#anymore and he wouldn't want mob to suppress if it were him and that he has nothing to be ashamed of because he's fine as he is and mob#loves each and every part of him and. AHUGFXDGCHJKLNBHVGFDCSVBGHJTGFDCSDXVFBGHNJKHYGTFDVCBGVNHBJKLJUYJTFCDGVBHJKUYTFRDFXCGVHUJYTFRDFXCGVHBJK#i just. have feelings.#and if anyone is ever mean to ritsu about his ts he's got like the whole spirits and such gang on his side and also the awakening lab kids#and the ex-claw members and the mob recruits the body improvement club to look intimidating and the telepathy club and just#🥺🥺🥺#it's about ritsu learning to love himself and to not find who he is embarrassing and not putting on a front because he feels like he has to#ahem#i am. fine.#sO ANYWAYS THANKS IF YOU ACTUALLY MANAGED TO READ ALL THIS IUYGTFDXFGCHUIJOMNUBYVTFG DCGVBHNJMK#mp100#ritsu kageyama#ritsu with tourette's
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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