#like it wasn't anything offensive just a dumb joke

[the-tenth-arcanum]

someone messaged me on my side blog asking me to delete a gifset of theirs I reblogged because I added a comment and they don't want people to add anything to their posts.??? is this a new trend I'm not aware of

[redeyye]

never going to forget the time i made a mildly stupid joke in a tumblr reply & the op reposted it and then someone in the notes was like "that person is 18 so don't be too mean to them guys" HUH? that's so unbelievably condescending. sometimes people say stupid shit how was it relevant that i was 18. and they were like early 20's too iirc ??

[slu7formen]

uhmmmmmm luke castellan "can I be the godfather?" but he is the actual father??? is that anything?

luke castellan x pregnant!reader

idk if this is what you asked for, but it’s what I understood 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ pls let me know if I’ve done it wrong (tw: high chances of that)

warnings: reader is pregnant (duh), swearing, fluff ig <3

₊˚⊹♡

"I'm pregnant"

Luke stares at you, his expression stunned. You don't even know if he's happy, sad, scared, or has completely turned into a whole-ass statue.

"What?" he pushes out of his lips with inmerse difficulty.

You sigh. This boy knew damn well you hate having to repeat yourself. "I'm pregnant, Luke"

"I heard what you said" he clarifies, lifiting his hand. "I'm just... trying to process."

There's a weird silence, not tense and thick, but not a comfortable either. You cover your legs more with the blanket, lifiting it up to your tummy, as if trying to cover the ungrown belly that was very much already working on its own to bring to the world a new life.

"How long have you known?" he finally breaks the silence.

"I found out yesterday" you answer.

Luke's eyebrows raise, as if you had just said something far more surprising than ´I'm pregnant´. "And you didn't tell me?" he pushed.

"I'm telling you now!" you retort.

Luke covers his face. You still can't figure out his feelings; if he's mad, if he's excited, if he's freaking out. And that makes you feel a bit scared. You start feeling a bit desperate; you didn't plan what you would do if he didn't react the way you wanted him to react. You didn´t exactly know what reaction you were expecting from him either.

"How did this even happen?"

You give him a look. "Do you want me to explain it to you?"

"Gods-, not..." he smacks his own forehead in an act of dumbness. "I'm sorry"

You nod. At this point, there's nothing else to say or do. The bomb had already been thrown.

"Are you gonna keep it? I mean, do you want to?"

You knew he wasn't asking you to do exactly what you thought of doing the second you saw that test. He was asking you the same question you asked yourself for hours and hours, what were you gonna do now?

You sighed heavily. "You know I've been thinking about leaving camp" you say, forcing Luke to go back to that conversation you two had just a few weeks away, "My time has ended here. Maybe this is what I needed to realize I should leave"

"No, don't be ridiculous" he answers almost immediately.

You raise your eyebrows. "Don't call me ridiculous. You know I can't stay here forever, Luke"

"I'm very much aware of that" Luke seems to want to add something, but he doesn't.

If it were up to Luke, he would stay at camp until the day he died. What could he possibly want from the outside world? Studies? A family? A normal life? He forgot about those possibilities before he even turned twelve. Most demigods outgrew camp, like you wanted to do, but that was not on Luke's radar. You weren't surprised; he was a hero, the perfect son of Hermes. Of course he would stay at camp, and that would only be his first of many heroic achievements.

"I'll leave as soon as camp ends" you state, as if you had suddenly decided it all.

But now, Luke wanted to leave with you. He wanted to take care of you, the same care he's been taking for the last months since he got to know you better, maybe even treat you a lot better, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. You wanted to leave, and you weren't inviting him.

"Then, can I ask you something?" he asks.

You shrug with a small nod, "Anything"

"Can I be the godfather?"

He had a serious face, not the one when he was playing pranks or joking around, the one he wore when he was dead serious. Your stare at his face, ice cold. He seems like he had already come up with the idea, as if that was the first thing that he thought about when you gave him the news.

"Luke, are you fucking dumb?"

The poor guy widens his eyes, surprised by the sudden and very offensive answer. "What did I do?" he asks.

"Why are you asking me to be the godfather when you are the father!?"

His expression turns into an understanding, a sudden ´oh´ moment. "Are you serious?" he asks, almost as if he was asking you if you were totally fully a hundred percent sure.

You wanted to punch his nose.

"Luke. Who else am I having sex with if it isn't you!?" you can't help but yell at his face, his dumbness in a situation like this surprising you more than anything else.

"I was just making sure! What if it was from your ex? You slept with him a few months ago"

"I've been pregnant for less time than that, Luke!"

"I'm sorry! But I had to be sure!"

You take a deep breath, covering your face in frustration.

Luke stares at you for a second, almost as if trying to decipher your own emotions now. Then, he starts laughing, a real laughter. You lift your gaze, seeing his head tilt backwards.

"What are you laughing at?"

"It's just-," Luke's laughs continue for a little longer, "it's so weird. It's so weird to think I'm a dad"

"The dumbest dad to step a toe on earth, yes" you bite back, still unable to believe you were having a whole conversation with a guy that thought he was not the father of your child. Like-, why would you say it first to someone who isn't the father? He ignores your comment, but his lips curling up in a tiny smile. His expression shows you he's happy, and the realization makes your heart jump.

"Can I ask you another question?" he asks again, biting back a little grin forming on his lips.

"Depends, are you gonna ask if we used protection?"

"Would you let me go with you?"

That caught you off guard. You stare at his eyes, dark and shiny in the summer night. He seems nervous, anxious for the answer. His hand is fidgeting, and his leg is jumping. You feel yourself getting a little dizzy, the adrenaline in your blood making you a little more lightheaded.

"Why would you go with me?" you ask, as if the answer would explain all the possible reasons.

"Well, now that I know that it's mine," he begins, trying to lighten the mood a little. The cold stare of your tired eyes makes him instantly stop though. He clears his throat before continuing, "I'd like to help and be by your side. If you let me"

The last words stung a bit, knowing that he knew that there was a chance you would deny his offer. You weren't with Luke, not explicitly, or oficially, yet you'd known him for so long, and so well, that it felt odd not having him in your life. He was like a constant, a stable, and a good friend. It would be difficult, but you knew the road wouldn't be impossible, not if he was the one walking the same path.

"I'd like to take responsability. I don't want this kid to grow the same way you and I and all of the other demigods did" he continues, as if the silence was hurting him.

You'd never met someone as hurt with this whole demigod situation as Luke, which was ironic judging by how perfectly skilled and behaved he was. A clearly absent father, a mother gone mad, living in the streets for years, alone, hungry, cold, sweaty, hurt. If it was you, you wouldn't have survived, yet he managed to put on that mask and walk out and not let anyone know how destroyed his heart was. Luke was strong, which led him to be heroic. Did he need it? No, but he knew when and who to use it with. You loved that about him.

Besides, he was good with kids.

"You know, you're not the worst choice of a father" you tease. You can see him smile, relieved, his shoulders relaxing.

"Really?" he asks, hopeful.

He smiles widely, and his smile is so contagious that you can't help but mirror him. He pushes himself off his seat in a flash, kneeling next to you. He puts his arms around your body and lifts you up. You laugh loudly, surprised by the sudden act. You wrap your arms around his neck and let him lift you off the bed.

He stops for a moment, gently putting you down on the floor again. He hugs you softly then, pressing his forehead to yours.

"We're suppossed to get married now, right?" he asks with a tilt of his head.

"What?"

[dez78]

I need you, darling

-------------------------------------

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Relationship: Spawn Astarion x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Blood (18+)

Additional Tags: Astarion being angry with you, Scared Astarion, Romanced Astarion, Boi is worried sick about you.

Summary: A battle goes to shit and Astarion is the first to notice.

(Not my gif)

As you were trekking the wilds with your companions, you stopped because something lurked ahead.

"Be careful, soldier." Karlach warned you. Your eyes were careful, tracing every shape in front you.

"Astarion, you smell anything?" Gale joked with a smirk, Astarion scoffed at him, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I'm not some type of blood hound!" He said offensively as he turned his nose up. Gale smirked as he waited patiently.

"The blood is average, so it's probably humans. Likely bandits or traders." Astarion replied after a silence.

You treaded carefully, watching the trees with your peripheral vision. Your companions at your back, watching every direction, weapons drawn.

Just then you heard the buzz of an arrow as it whizzed past your head, clipping your hair.

"Archers!" Gale cried, you and your companions took cover then.

"Bandits." Astarion scoffed.

You used your tactics to take out the archer, using your own crossbow. You pierced his throat with a bolt.

"Nice shot, soldier!" You heard Karlach complimenting you. You smirked cocky as you bolted out, a bandit surprised you and took a slash at you.

Your quick reflexes responded, you snapped your hips, the blade missing your most vital organs or so you thought. You were quick to cut his throat. He bled out, falling to the ground, grasping his throat.

Your companions charged out then, Astarion used his dual daggers to slice through the enemy, Karlach used her axe to crush her enemies, and Gale stood back blasting fire.

You used a dagger for the last bandit, throwing with precision and ending his life by getting him in the eye. You smiled victoriously.

Then you winced suddenly, you looked up just as Astarion turned around. The wind had shifted, and he picked up a sweet scent. Karlach and Gale approached.

You stumbled as you looked back down, despite being covered in bandit blood and the men on the ground, bleeding on the forest floor. Astarion knew your scent.

You looked down, your tunic starting to soak as fresh blood gushed from an open wound. You thought the blade missed, but it was apparent that in fact did not.

"Y/N!" Astarion rushed over to you.

"Oh shit, you're bleeding, soldier." Karlach noticed a few moments after Astarion.

"We need to get to camp." Gale suggested.

"I'm fine." You muttered, Astarion wasn't having it.

"You've done one dumb thing today already." He snarled as he picked you up. He carried you back to the camp. Gale and Karlach hot on his heels.

You faded in and out of consciousness, all you saw was Astarion. His face was washed with panic, dread, and concern.

"~Stay with me, my love.~" His voice sounded so far, yet he was right above you. Before it went black you heard the fear in Astarion's voice as he spoke,

"~Don't leave me. I need you, darling.~"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you came to, you were at camp.

"She's awake!" Gale cried; the companions rushed over to you. Astarion hadn't left your side.

"What happened?" You asked groggily as you sat up, rubbing your throbbing head.

"You stupid, girl!" Astarion suddenly snapped at you, your heart twinged as you looked up with sorrowful eyes.

"You could have died, you idiot!" He was livid as he fumed. You winced from his raised voice, looking like a kicked puppy.

Astarion relaxed and took a deep breath,

"I'm sorry. I was just worried sick about you, I-" He pursed his lips, you looked at him, still hurt.

"I thought I lost you." He breathed out in a shallow breath. He bowed his head, on the verge of tears.

"Everything we been through, and I thought that was the last of you. As soon as I smelled your blood, I was full of dread, fearing the worst." Astarion explained. He took your hands in his.

"That was a stupid thing to do, but you're not stupid or an idiot. I just couldn't imagine the pain if I had lost you. I-" Astarion explained, he stopped again.

"I care about."

"I love you."

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, he had never said those words before without it being some kind of joke. You looked into his eyes and saw the concern and sincerity. He meant it. He loves you.

"Please, for the love of the gods. Please, be more careful next time. I don't think my fragile heart can take that kind of pain again." Astarion pleaded with you, his eyes were genuine, and his voice was shaky. You nodded your head slowly as a smile crossed your lips.

"That's a good girl, darling." Astarion said softly as he leaned in and captured your lips in a tender kiss.

[bandaidrights]

More Yuri ratiorine hcs :D?

MORE FEM? OFCOURSE!

I love women

-

(1) pregnant aven, she gets hangry easily and js gets super annoyed. Like they went out shopping the whole day and she didn't really eat much. So when thry got home, she was annoyed and hungry and kinds blew up at Ratio over something dumb. Ratio didn't take offense or anything, she understood that her emotions and everything are out of wack. So Ratio quietly cooked avens favorite comfort food and brought it to her. After she ate and felt better she apologized and explained why she was upset and ratio just reassured her that it was alright

(2) ratios back hurts 24/7. Her chest causes her so much pain, she (tried) making a joke once about getting a reduction but aven gasped loudly and put a hand to her heart and just went "Don't be selfish" with like a fake pout. But baths help her pain, and so do avens massages. Aven massages her shoulders and back some nights after ratios baths. Especially if she knows ratios day wasn't the best. She uses ratios favorite lotion too.

(3) another pregnancy one, aven found out she was pregnant before ratio found out. Ratio was at work when aven took the test. Then she wanted to make it a whole suprise for ratio bc they both have been wanting a baby. Ratio gets home a few hours later, the house is clean, dinner is cooking, aven is oddly smiley. She grabs ratios hand and tells her to sit down. Then ratio closes her eyes and holds her hand out like she's told to, aven places the test in her hand and ratio opens her eyes and gasps. Ratios eyes flick back and forth between avens smile and avens stomach, then she reaches towards her and hugs her close. Then they kiss and snuggle for the rest of the night

(4) after the baby is born, ratios students are very interested, one time aven couldn't watch them bc she had an assignment, and ratio didn't trust some 16 year old babysitter. So she brought the baby to her lecture. The students were not listening whatsoever, too busy oohing and awhing over the baby. Ratio held the baby on her hip and used her other hand to write on the board. Her students usually had silent work time towards the end of class where they could ask for help if they needed. But Ratio was too busy. The baby started crying when it wasn't in its mama's arms so she couldn't get much work done. But it's okay, she doesn't mind it at all.

-

Sorry most of these are preg aus..I rlly like them

I need to draw them again it's been so long

[coffee-writesthings]

Merc Headcanons: Escape room edition

I've had these hc's in my head for a hot minute and thought I would share since I finally got around to transcribing them

Offense

Soldier - would not be all that good. Would try to brute force locks and can understand a lot of basic hints but struggles with the more elaborate stuff.

Pyro would be great at anything that requires seeing through something or other visual distortions (i know they canonically can't read but I'm ignoring that)

Scout - If it were just offense doing a room together he'd be pulling the major weight. If not and it's just the whole of red or blu, he's chill, making jokes and pointing out the things that should be obvious

Defense

Demo - He's more sober than usual for this, since escape rooms generally aren't his strong suit. He probably would help Soldier with what he struggles with and is a generalized support for the rest of the team (emotionally speaking at least)

Heavy - Logic puzzles are his jam aside from struggles with language barriers. Keeps others focused on the actual objectives though

Engineer - Frankly i think he'd be kinda useless. Those 11 PHD's are good for a lot, sure, but a lot of escape rooms work on the assumption that you haven't got that high of a knowledge base. He'd try his best to keep track of the clues (maybe writing them down). Though he would also be the most likely to get sucked into a red herring imo (because i think he would think too much about it, yknow?)

Support

Sniper - Being taller than most of the team means he can reach clues put high up, as well as other hidden items. He can also read which helps a lot considering half of them can't read canonically

Medic - Fucking fascinated with the clues. He comes to a lot of conclusions which are largely wrong. maybe he also gets a bit too engrossed in the red herrings. Like I think if he and engineer are in a room together their intelligence levels cancel out entirely and they become functionally dumb as fuck.

Spy - wasn't sure he even wanted to go but his team had to drag him out of the base. Eventually he'd find himself more into the experience. He finds the most fun in it, arguably. It also fits as a nice bit of bonding time with Scout

[sapchats]

tell me the pittsburgh steelers drama pls

-🌻

ok so basically our like franchise quarterback had been BR7 (big Ben - i can't spell his last name tbh) for so long but when he retired (after a shit last 2 seasons arguably more but no one wants to talk about that) we had to get a new qb so we used our number 1 draft pick on kenny pickett instead of oh idk drafting centers or guards to fix our shit offensive line but whatever. so we got kenny and everyone was excited and he started in the 3 preseason games and everything looked good etc etc except when he started during the season he quite frankly was kind of ass it was hard to watch. so when he got hit and was on concussion protocol and couldn't play, mitch trubisky (backup qb) started and look he also did pretty bad. so when kenny was able to come back he started again but still wasn't like anything big like we were still losing and then skipping ahead a little he got an elbow injury that was going to need surgery so he was going to be out and mitch came back in. the thing about mitch is i actually don't know his story im pretty sure he was the old backup for the bears maybe idk but anyway he was starting games and he was playing so so bad like oh my god . bad . so tomlin basically benched trubisky in favor of starting mason rudolph and the thing about rudolph is that he'd been backup under ben but Ben was kind of an asshole and didn't like give rudolph any guidance at all and when ben was hurt and rudolph had to play he wasn't very good and everyone hated him this is very important. so now rudolph was starting and everyone was expecting him to do horribly and basically saying our season is over but he actually did very well and we won the game and everyone was like holy shit and then we won the next game too and everyone was like rudolph is better than pickett and trubisky and tomlin just hates him bc it's rumored that rudolph is a trumper (idk if this is true) (tomlin is black and white steelers fans are racist idiots that want him fired even tho he's one of the best coaches in the league (17 seasons straight with no losing season lfg), that's all you really need to know) and that's why he's never started etc etc which is really dumb bc . it's not that he didn't start bc tomlin hated him, he didn't start bc last season he was ass u all called him ass whenever he played remember when you boo'd whenever he took the field and were actively wanting him to fail or did we all conveniently forget that but whatever what do i know. so because rudolph is doing so well and kenny is literally coming off of surgery, it was decided that against the ravens this week (today, the game we need to win for better playoff chances) rudolph would start kenny would be backup 1 and trubisky would be backup 2! someone in the media came out with information from an inside "source" that said kenny was mad about not starting and refused to suit up to be number 2 and it was a whole thing that blew up (mark maddon when i catch u when i catch u mark maddon) and it caused a lot of fans to start calling him princess kenny and basically call him selfish and conceited and stuff. so while talking to the press kenny basically addressed those rumors (which he'd already technically and indirectly disproven in earlier interviews but whatever) and said they weren't true he never refused he's following the advice of the coaches and health staff hes going to suit up as backup in the game etc etc. and then a picture of kenny mason and mitch came out where they were all laughing and smiling and joking around and yeah that's it it's kind of awesome to me

[saving-ray-23]

BATGIRL (TWELVE)

For the past two months, she had been patrolling. Helping. Stopping crime. Protecting the people of Somerset. After that first night, she felt like she couldn't stop. It was addicting. Even with Batman and Robin— they were only two people. They couldn't stop everything as it happened and they couldn't protect all of Gotham at once. So, while they took down the big guys like the Joker and Scarecrow, she watched the little guys. Petty crimes, attempts at rape, alleyway shootings. For years, she been learning Karate and practicing self-defense. It felt good to finally put it all to use.

The one thing she could do without was the nickname they gave her.

It was embarrassing to say the least. And she wasn't even working with Batman. She didn't think Batman knew she existed until Robin cornered her one night.

Barbara hung off the fire escape, looking down below. She was a few blocks from Crime Alley, an old-fashioned walkie-talkie in hand. It had been way too easy to access the GCPD's frequency and from there it just took some reprogramming to transmit it to the radio. She knew nearly all of the codes already; all of her sick-days as a kid were spent at the GCPD, with nothing but handbooks and open cases to look at.

Despite the high rate of crime in Gotham, the radio was mostly silent throughout the night. Nobody called in crimes that often. Most of the time, the station was filled with people caught by Batman or coming in to give a statement after the crime was committed.

She was so focused on the scanner that she didn't even realize someone was watching her until her landed on the roof.

"Bat . . . girl?" He questioned, cocking his head.

Barbara cringed under the cowl, knowing she should've just painted over the yellow symbol. "I swear I didn't come up with that name."

Robin laughed, relaxing slightly. "Good, the whole Bat-thing is kinda dumb."

"Right? No offense, but your boss literally sounds like a furry."

"Well, so do you now . . . " He joked— holy shit, she was joking around with Robin. Robin !

"I guess it's too late to rebrand?" She asked with a wince, more annoyed than ever with James and Coach Yeoh.

"Unless you want people thinking you died— it's a decent name, you'll be fine." The vigilante answered, grinning at her. "But, if Batman asks, I just told you off for this whole . . . lifestyle. Shit, that sounds— "

"Grossly sexual?"

"I was going to say weird."

The two stood facing each other on a rooftop at two in the morning, joking around and just . . . talking. Nothing that would give away anything important, although Babs had let it slip that she was from one of the worst parts of Gotham. Which was pretty much true; she wasn't living in Crime Alley directly or anything, but Somerset was known to be the hub of corruption and violence. Kind of ironic, in Barbara's opinion, considering the GCPD was in the heart of it all.

They talked for less than half an hour. Robin asked her if she could actually fight (he seemed almost impressed when she told him about the multiple black belts that were collecting dust in her closet and how close she was to receiving another). After that, he questioned her age, but she retaliated by asking his, leaving them at a standstill. Eventually, he got around to the topic of parents, asking if her parents would be worried.

"My parents aren't the caring type." She revealed with as little emotion as possible. "My . . . dad's a workaholic. Doesn't even notice I'm gone."

Babs wondered if she had said too much. It made it sound like she could go missing and nobody would care. She realized belatedly that it was somewhat true. It would probably take days for anyone to notice she was gone. Robin nodded slowly at her, holding out a piece of paper.

"I get where you're coming from— at least I think I do." He paused, smile dropping. "If you ever need help, you can call this number, day or night."

Babs hesitantly tucked the paper into her belt. "Thanks, Boy-Wonder."

After that, Barbara just became more determined.

[necarion]

I've never quite understood why Avatar didn't have more cultural staying power. I recently went and rewatched it when it came back to theaters, and it was as amazing as I'd remembered it. The plot remained kinda dumb, but way less so than I'd remembered given the fucking endless discourse on the subject. The white savior narrative was still slightly fucked up. But, again, compared to the shit coming out of Marvel or DC, it wasn't anything to write home about. Really, it was like every single plot point was nitpicked to death, in a standard basically no other contemporary film was.

@jadagul pointed out once that he had been judging the story of Avatar on a "real movie" curve, when really it should have been considered on a "superhero movie" curve. Like, seriously, is it any dumber or more poorly written than like 2/3 of the Marvel movies in that same time period?

I think there were a couple problems here. One was that there was this really surprising anti-Cameron group that was already declaring the movie to be a failure before it came out. It was going to be environmentalist propaganda (kinda true). Or it was going to be a "chick flick" like Titanic. There was still a sizeable contingent of people who seemed to be mad at themselves for liking Titanic, despite there being a romance with Leonardo DiCaprio in it. James Cameron had made a whole bunch of amazing movies that everybody loved, but his last one had been 12 years ago, and there had been a backlash to the fact that it was as popular as it was, so many of the folks who you'd have expected to be fervent fans of the guy who made Aliens or Terminator 2 just weren't defending it.

So, the tone of discourse for the movie was "this movie is visually spectacular" and "also kinda dumb". But the community for "kinda dumb" was insanely vocal, and I remember feeling intensely peer-pressured to admit that it was "dances with smurfs" or whatever. Liking it was actually kind of uncool, even among the nerds I went to school with (even though almost everybody came out of the theater in awe). And part of the problem was, indeed, that the movie was kind of dumb. So you couldn't really defend it on those grounds, and there wasn't a pre-built constituency of Cameron fans. (For comparison, there were (and still are) rabid defenders of Snyder's much dumber, and much more offensive movies.)

So there's this dynamic already pushing the tone of coverage against the films.

But combine that with the fact that the story was basically entirely serviceable for what it was trying to do, but nothing particularly interesting to discuss. I've seen much more interesting stories, and also far worse ones, that people love to talk about. So the only thing you can really say about it is "yeah, the movie was awesome" and "holy shit this was the most beautiful movie I've ever seen.

And then you take it home and watch it on your 2D screen and it's...kind of flat and lifeless. It lost an astounding amount in that transition. So there's the DVD sales gone. Avatar was basically the leading reason in the push for 3D TVs, but those just weren't ready for primetime.

And then comes the 3D movie mini-explosion, and these mostly fell flat. Avatar had worked as well as it had because Cameron planned for it to be in 3D from the very beginning, and pushed the technology as hard as it would go. In comparison, 3D up-conversion was neat, but it really wasn't using the technology as anything other than a way to sell more expensive tickets. And this got blamed on Avatar.

And then Cameron doesn't release anything else in the Avatar universe for over a decade, so there's nothing to build on. We heard all the jokes of Avatar 2-5 (or whatever) but there wasn't really anything. Not even any bad stories that could re-ignite investment in that world.

So, through a combination of

having a story that was well-suited to show what Cameron wanted,

that was kind of dumb,

with nobody who really wanted to defend the story because it was boring and kind of dumb

a very vocal cadre of anti-Cameron fans

and then no follow-ups for over a decade

then yeah, it makes sense that not a lot of people talked about Avatar.

Of course, then Cameron decides to finally release Avatar 2, and it's way dumber. He went all-in making it a magical alien planet documentary, and seemed to totally forget to, like, have someone read through that godawful, boring script. Maybe that validates what folks have been saying about Avatar 1, but that standard can be used to invalidate a whole lot of solid films by a lot of solid directors. I think the lesson is that auteur film directors should have a competent writer on-hand who they actually listen to, and who will tell them know. But we've known that for forever.

I know very little about this film except the trans subject matter, and that it has truly appalling songs, but it's hilarious it has all those Oscar nominations when it is this disliked by the audience of the country in which it is set, and is guaranteed to be forgotten by everyone a year from now.

It made me think of that "gay, black" film Moonlight, that won Best Picture 9 years ago, and how I haven't heard a single person mention it online or offline since that year. I even had to look up "best picture winners" on Wikipedia to remember the name. But according to the academy, that was the greatest motion picture of its time. Entirely forgotten today.

Whereas, if I go back through the list another decade, there are films like The Departed and No Country For Old Men winning that award, that millions of people still love and esteem and regularly talk about and recommend to others.

Another decade earlier, it's The Silence of The Lambs, Unforgiven, Schindler's List, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, The English Patient and Titanic - again: films literally everyone still know and love today, 30 years on.

The Oscars used to be a benchmark for timeless excellence in the cinematic arts, but now The Oscars are just a measuring stick for how far Hollywood has fallen into virtue signaling, ideological propaganda, incompetence and mediocrity.

[mcflymemes]

CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the television show, season 1

we look at each case objectively, without presupposition.

i'm sorry. what are you saying?

it didn't have to be that way.

people make assumptions. that's the problem.

there were bodies.

you know, i'm not even gonna ask.

i want to be just like you.

how dumb are we?

i think we'd better head over to the police station.

that's a cop-out.

i'm not good with kids.

if that's your stance, how could it have been prevented?

they should have protected me.

where are you going?

i mean that as a friend.

i think you scared him. all his hairs are standing up.

fine suit.

get your finger out of my face.

you're kidding me, right?

hey, i'm just doing my job.

blood's like my grandfather. never lies.

oh. i barely heard you.

i can't answer that question.

i didn't know this was a competition.

that's a career killer.

i have no idea how it got there.

by law, you've got to disclose everything.

pin me up against a wall and lay one on me like you mean it.

you assholes.

if it involves the protection of my child, i fight to the death.

hey, give me a little credit.

look, forget the formalities.

what's that smell?

you can joke all you want. it's your ass on the line.

i didn't say i couldn't do it.

did i just do that?

normal would be nice.

my spider sense says it wasn't.

you didn't even hesitate.

half of them couldn't find their own ass with a map.

i love my work.

so who's winning?

do yourself a favor. think for yourself.

maybe i saw you perform.

i would never doubt your word.

keep thinking. that's what you're good at.

i never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.

these things will only confuse you.

concentrate on what cannot lie.

whose blood is that?

somebody left a message. i need to see the rest of it.

you would've remembered.

i need to see their shoes.

we restore peace of mind.

you can pick up your gun tomorrow.

now tell me, why are we here?

it's our job to know how.

is there anything in there with alcohol?

if you stay with it, my hand to god, you will never regret it.

what do you think?

how about a gun?

stop flirting with me.

what an imagination you have.

actually, it's just an audio book.

are my observations distracting you?

i come here for calamari.

that's why i took this job.

what's the status?

high altitude enhances the entire sexual experience.

like i said, it's all about results. if you don't get them, i will.

you're right, you know.

would you mind taking off your jacket and rolling up your sleeve?

you can do that?

that's what's so sad. you see this as a career.

i saw some bruises.

it's not going to be easy.

would you hand me a swab please?

there's no smoking in here.

well, that's good news.

no offense, but i don't think i want to eat anything that's been in this office.

someone chased this kid to death.

i just thought it'd be something different.

what makes you think you belong here?

you're avoiding the question.

one life imposed itself on another.

you want to sleep with me?

it'll be back to normal in 24 hours.

how would the night end?

that is correct... according to this book.

i have a crime scene to process, so you'll have to excuse me.

i might have to do some field research to find out.

good thing i have a healthy ego.

i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say they're hiding something.

how do you talk to a dead body?

i should be just like you.

sometimes i have a beer with it.

how do you figure?

got anything for me?

so you slept through the whole thing and woke up next to a dead body.

we don't impose our will. we don't impose our hopes on the evidence.

what's the matter with your guys?

do you think we're dressed for a wedding?

i wish i had been married to you.

i hardly know that woman.

look, could we have a truce?

[itevilhag]

seperate ways (worlds apart) | dream of the endless x reader.

pairing: dream of the endless x platonic!f!reader / friends to lovers, dream of the endless x f!reader

wordcount: 1.1k!

warning: ANGST. major character death. maybe slight (?) ooc Dream?

summary: Dream spends time with a dying friend.

.

.

"Do you wanna hear a joke?” she asked as a playful smile bloomed on her lips, breaking the silence that settled between them as they sat side by side, their shoulders touching under her willow tree.

Dream was silent for a second, contemplating whether or not he should surrender to his friend's amusement or to continue to lament about what was to come.

After some time of thinking, Dream turned to her and answered unenthusiastically, which she chose to ignore.

"I suppose. Why not?" 

Her smile grew wider.

"So, a blind man walks into a pub, and a chair, and a table…" her voice trailed, waiting for the anticipated smile even if it’s just from how stupid or dumb her joke is, but nothing happened. Dream’s face remained impassive as ever. His brow quirked in a manner that expressed nothing but confusion.

Her smile deflates a little, but nonetheless, still remains hopeful. "...you know? Because he's-"

Though Dream found the joke a bit amusing, he still couldn’t bring himself to reciprocate any of her playfulness or attempts to brighten up his mood. 

She sat there with her mouth hanging open before feigning offense by lightly smacking his arm due to his lack of reaction to her excellent joke. “Oh, come on, that was funny!" 

Dream remained impassive and instead chose to invest his full attention towards the ground where white carnations had started to grow around them. He never wanted to ignore her or make her feel anything of the sort, but seeing that sickening sweet smile of hers only further reminded him of what he was about to lose. 

And all she could do was sigh in defeat and lightly nodded her head in understanding.

"You know, Dream, for someone who is literally an immortal being, you're way more concerned about Death than I am- and she's literally your sister!" 

That only earned her a hard glare from Dream, but not one filled with malice or annoyance, but one filled with well-hidden dread, pain, and sadness. 

She smiled softly, pleading with him. "Oh, Dream, loosen up a little, won't you? Laugh, smile! It's my last day. I don't want it to be gloomy." 

"Exactly. How can I smile when my best friend is about to be taken away from me?" he lamented, a pang of grief striking his heart like lightning. 

"Oh, please." she lightly rolled her eyes. "We both knew this was coming." 

"That doesn't make us any more ready for it." Dream snapped, his anger so fierce she could feel it radiating through his coat and transferring onto her.

Dream’s voice softened. "I just wish we had more time. Together." 

Dream took her hands in his, his voice breaking into painful cries, his head turned down in shame.

"I'm sorry, I am truly sorry. I wasn't there when you needed me. It was never my intention to leave you all alone."

To say that her heart was shattering into a million pieces seeing Dream fall apart in front of her because of something he had not done, or something he was not at fault for, was an understatement. 

"Oh, Dream, it's alright.” she took her hand from his, placing her finger underneath his chin. She titled his head up to meet hers. She smiled softly.

“She told me what happened." Dream’s face contorted in confusion, then recognition. 

Death.

"It's okay, and even if you weren't-" she paused thinking on the words she was about to say as she recalled what Death had told her about her brother’s imprisonment, how a man intended to capture her to ask for the life of someone taken away too soon. Her friend was already in enough pain. She wasn’t going to bury the knife deeper than it already was. She chose not to utter them.

"You probably wouldn't have been able to be here with me physically anyway. Because you have more important duties to attend to than spending time with a dying mortal, and that's okay because, in the end, I wasn't alone. I was never alone. Because you're always there in my dreams, holding my hand. And now, you're here, and that's all that matters." The smile on her face was kind and comforting, the kind of smile that brought one to his own, even if it was just faint.

Wiping the stray tears that had unnoticedly fallen to both Dream’s and her face, she finally sighed in contentment. Holding on to his hand like a lifeline, she rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying the company of a friend with all the time she had left. 

"I wish we had more time too,” she chuckled wetly.

“But just because our time was short doesn't make any of the days I spent with you any less wonderful.” she turned her head to look up at him, her voice full of gratitude as she said so. “So, thank you, Dream, for being my best friend and for being here, until the end." 

A small smile adorned Dream’s lips. "And I thank you, Y/N, for being mine." he lifted her hand up to his lips and planted a delicate kiss onto it.

Without saying a word, her body collided with his as she tightly wrapped her arms around him. It took Dream a few seconds to recover from the sheer force of her embrace, but nonetheless, reciprocated the gesture of affection in return. 

With his hand behind her head and his other on her waist, holding her tightly to his chest. He pressed a soft kiss on her hair. "I will miss you terribly, Y/N." 

She sniffled as she smiled against his shoulder. "I'll miss you too."

They held each other for so long that even when their arms started to hurt from how tightly embracing one another, they did not let go. But a change in the air made Dream rigid. 

A woman with dark skin and such ethereal beauty appeared behind Dream, and something about her kind smile and her alluring presence already told her that it was time. Her time.

"Hello, Y/N." Death offered her hand towards her. "Time to go, hon." 

Y/N was ready to let go, to finally surrender her life to Death, but Dream kept her firmly against his chest, refusing to let go. "I don't want you to go." 

"I have to, Dream, she's here." she whispered against his ear while her hand drew comforting circles on his back. "You'll be alright." her voice so firm, that the words she uttered next etched themselves on the walls of his mind, and his heart. "Promise me, you'll be alright." 

"I will. I will be alright." 

Death smiled at that. 

"I love you." Dream uttered, as he felt her body slowly going limp against him. 

"I'll see you in your dreams, love." with a final kiss on his cheek, she took Death's hands.

And as Dream's eyes fluttered shut, all he could hear the mighty beating of her wings. 

...

[mugeesworld]

Rules / Master Lists! ♥︎

Not in the best mental state currently. I want to start writing again soon but it doesn't fit into my schedule sadly. With Summer coming up I might have time tho! Thank you for looking at my page! Feel free to still leave requests tho! I'll come back to them🫶- May 18 23

Small introduction~

Hi there! Welcome to my page! Please refer to me as M or mugee! I'm 19! He/she pronouns. You can refer to me as a man or woman but Im not a woman....yeah. I feel like a man but I don't fully wanna be one. YUH. I would prefer to be referred to as dude, man, bro tho. But calling me stuff like girly is fine makes me giggle. Im still new to this app so please bare with me! I have a wattpad if you are interested! (It's the same user name) I'm open to writing anything! But mostly do head cannons:D. I'm plus size and cater to writing for the plus size community since it does get enough representation. If you are plus size please stick around! Id love to be your mutual♥︎! I write as a out let and to make people happy. I absolutely love helping the plus size community feel more loved/ making them happy! Cause everyone is truly beautiful and I want YOU to know that! Feel free to read if you're not plus size though. (I have my eye on you though.... No hateful comments) My blog is a safe place for everyone! Unless your racist, homophobic, fatphobic, etc. You will be blockedꈍᴗꈍ. Feel free to message me! I love chatting with people! Also if you want to me mutuals just ask! I swear I won't bite!!! I talk about random stuff on here sometimes. Like random random. I one made a post about women and how beautiful they are. And it wasn't small. IT WAS BIGGGGG. I love women.

Rules/Info♥︎

DO NOT. AND I MEAN DO NOT. COME ON MY PAGE TO BE RUDE. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. I WON'T SAY WHAT ELSE WILL HAPPEN FOR LEGAL REASONS!!!!!!!!!(joking....maybe)

Minors dni

No diet culture people, fatphobics, Ed twt people, fat fetishist, anorexia supporters

Do not talk about Ed's on my page I will round house you. This is a safe spot for all body types and I don't want that on my page! I'm sorry if you struggle with that tho as someone that has in the past I understand♥︎. I hope people can understand that and not find this offensive 💀

I'm fat. Don't like it? Then leave. That simple! I use the word fat in my writing. Ik people use that word to be rude but fat is not a bad word. So when i say "fat" that's not being mean. Thats me being honest or whatever. I call myself fatass sometimes. Cause I am one. Don't say stuff on my page like. "You're not fat! You're beautiful" cause fat is not a bad word. Fat is beautiful. It doesn't mean ugly. Fat is just a word ok. Let's not give it weird meanings⁉️

If you don't know! Then ask! I'm a big big talker so answering questions is very fun. Literally say anything. Even if it's just a dumb emoji or something. I will reply 75% of the time.

Don't be scared to message/request something! I will not punch you in the face I swear! Theirs no need to be scared!!!

I'm pan romantic (finds every gender hot) demi sexual (yes that's a real sexuality. It's when you have to have a strong bond before doing anything sexual. Sorta like friends to lovers) that being said I can do any gender character. No preference.

I do head cannons, matchups, and small fics!

More info about explaining thoses are here:

No incest, urine, scat, underaged crap.

I do NSFW/Smut. You've been warned! Want a certain kink wrote with a character? (Choking, pegging, spanking) ASK! If it's in my comfort zone. I'm on it! I'm also a switch so if you want it dom/sub/switch I got your

I'm in school so I don't have all the time in the world! Along with ya know my everyday life. So I write at night lol!

I do mostly one piece but I can do others! (Please read the post I linked a little bit above for all the anime's I do)

GO READ THE THING I LINKED IT EXPLAINS STUFF MUCH BETTER!!

I like pink. I use Pinterest to find all these cute little things. Or I find a pic I want. (Not someone else's art. Usually a piece of manga) then go to the picstar app and put a pink tint on it! If I do ever accidentally post someone else's art PLEASE tell me. I would never do that on purpos. But if you draw about would like be to use your art I will happily do so and give you credit and all that :3

Requests are: OPEN!

BEFORE YOU REQUEST ANYTHING! READ THIS:

Master Lists! ✰

Apparently these links are not working 😭 I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX THEM AND IM LOWKEY TO LAZY IM NOT GONNA LIE BUT THE POSTS ARE STILL THERE SO YOU CAN SEARCH THE TITLE OF THE INDIVIDUAL MASTER LISTS ON MY PAGE AND IT SHOULD COME UP!!!😭😭😭

My Hero Academia~

One Piece~

Haikyuu~

One Punch Man!~

Match ups~

[crownshattered]

"Are you suggesting that something as simple as this would be bothersome to a powerful fae such as I~?" the prince replied, a smirk tugging at his dark lips. Something about his words seemed awfully threatening, as if he actually took offense to her being concerned about something like this, but it was all a jest. He simply struggled to convey a 'joking' tone in conversations.

Malleus continued. "I'm not suggesting a long trip. Perhaps a weekend, or even just for a night. There's no need for concern over actual travel. I could have you in Briar Valley with the mere snap of my fingers~" It wasn't an exaggeration, and anyone who knew Malleus and his power would certainly realize this. Honestly, Malleus couldn't think of anything he would like more than to show Sayu his home kingdom.

"I could take you tonight, if you'd so wish," he offered. "You would be back come morning without any concern for missing a class." Although he felt it to be quite dumb to be concerned about missing a class over this, but Malleus cared for Sayu, so her concerns mattered to him.

while the explanation was understandable, sayu couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt. sure, he didn't mind it nor sounded as if complaining on such a decision, but maybe that was just a farce. with this logic, wouldn't it be pointless for those who weren't of human species to have a winter break? there was nothing to celebrate, per se, so did the fae really not mind? to the magicless girl, it seemed like a lonely experience...something she could understand, to an extent. after all, she pretty much had to grow up rather early in childhood.

in the end, there's no point continuing on the topic. if he really wasn't complaining, then sayu won't either. look at her, always leading the conversation in a pessimistic path...bad habit, she supposed. the topic would be drastically changed, however, when the fae brings up a surprising offer.

❛ huh...? ❜ was all she could muster, trying to process what he just said as eyes stare up at bright green ones - now that she thought about it, he really didn't know how to smile properly. it took less than a second for sayu to reboot, so to speak, and actually gauge a reaction. ❛ w-wait, take me there? seriously? oh, uh...i wouldn't want to bother you with something like that, senpai... ❜ she begins in her usual, polite tone. ❛ besides, classes have already begun...i-i'm sure you'll be really busy with studies and whatnot... ❜ the last thing she wanted was to pester her friend for her own, selfish reasons.

[no-pennies4thoughts]

thoughts on same-sex attraction vs gender-based attraction?

?????

You mean like... People who differentiate between sex and gender?? Cuz the two are the same and can be used interchangeably.

I know there's a trend of people being like gender= what you identify as, and sex= what you were born as. But I personally find that whole idea silly and low key offensive.

I don't identify as a man. I just am a man. It's apart of who I am. The only time me being trans matters-- ie the only time it matters to mention I wasn't biologically born a man-- is in a medical situation where it's relevant or if you're about to become intimate with someone and they don't know you're trans (ie. You don't wanna surprise them if you haven't had all the bells and whistles that you possibly could). Beyond that my sex and gender are both male.

Trying to pull apart attraction to exclude or include trans and sometimes even intersex people is shitty. It calls a preference or a boundary, not a change in sexuality. People have a right to not be attracted to anyone for any reason. Be it something stupid or something meaningful. Doesn't matter. Not liking blond hair isn't a new sexuality. Neither is being uncomfortable dating a guy who doesn't have a dick. Trying to find some way to exclude trans people is just weird. You're allowed to just have preferences without changing your sexuality or pointing out continuously that I'm not biologically male (which just makes trans people feel bad).

Likewise, if you go out of your way to include trans people it can be even weirder. It can be invalidating and super uncomfortable if you specifically talk about your sexuality as strictly liking specific genitals for cis and trans people alike (note that a gay man making jokes about liking dicks is different than someone in full seriousness revolving their sexuality around dicks rather than actual people). Not to mention it feels like you're implying trans people aren't really their gender unless they've had specific surgeries.

Equally weird when people like to act like only their sexuality could possibly love trans people. Just sounds like chasers or people trying to feel good about themselves at my expense.

If you like men you like men. End of story. If you're a man who likes men you're gay. Easy. We shouldn't be trying to argue if you liking or not liking a trans man changing anything. You're both still gay. But have preferences/boundaries. And when it comes to dating those should be respected regardless of if everyone agrees it shitty or shallow or what ever else.

So I guess the exact answer to your question would be I think it's dumb?? Sex and gender are the same thing. Unless you're talking to your dr it really doesn't matter what you were born as. And it's silly to try and change sexuality around less than one percent of the population. Relax. Cuz the only people I find that care that much about it tend to either do it cuz they hate trans people or have a weird savior complex. Sexuality shouldn't be that complicated. Stop adding rules to it.

[edeniansys]

BNHA WIP that I'll probably never actually finish. This was chapter 1.

Bad Girl Online

Word Count: 2,344

Summary: The students of class 1-A are nearing the end of their first year at UA, and the traitor still hasn't been identified. The teachers have gone over it countless times, and even the students themselves are attempting to figure out who the traitor is. But sometimes, the answer is either A. The most obvious solution, B. The least obvious solution, or C. All of the Above.

Story below!

"Aizawa, please! Young Midoriya could never betray his classmates! I trusted him with One For All, I practically put my career into his hands, how could he possibly be the traitor?" All Might shouted.

The teachers were having a meeting over possible traitors. At this point, they were desperate. It was the end of Class 1-A's first year, and everyone wanted answers. Even the students had their own speculations about a traitor. They had to get this over with quickly.

Aizawa sighed. "Yagi, we have to consider every possibility-"

"Every possibility?! Okay then, what if it was your personal student, Shinsou?"

Now Aizawa was getting annoyed. "I'm not saying it isn't possible that it isn't Hitoshi! I'm just saying that it very well could be Midoriya! He's a better actor than he seems, okay? I've seen him looking dead tired then when he realized I was there he immediately became his happy self again. Despite knowing him for two years, you barely know anything about him. You don't know what he's been through, and you clearly don't understand how people become villains."

Midnight tried to break the tension. "Okay, look. We obviously aren't going to reach an agreement here, so let's just mark him as an unlikely suspect and move on. Maybe Bakugou or Ashido should be next?"

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Meanwhile, the students of class 1-A in question had met up to talk about the traitor theory as well. They all had their fair share of evidence for who it could be, and they all came prepared with an argument against themselves.

"Okay," Iida began, "we have narrowed down the students in class 1-A to the following status:

Midoriya Izuku: safe

Kirishima Eijirou: likely safe

Yaoyorozu Momo: likely safe

Hagakure Toru: suspect

Mineta Minoru: very likely suspect

Ojiro Mashirao: safe

Shoji Mezou: on the fence

Kouda Koji: safe

Uraraka Ochako: safe

Asui Tsuyu: suspect

Sato Rikido: on the fence, leaning safe

Jirou Kyoka: possible suspect

Ashido Mina: possible suspect

Tokoyami Fumikage: possible suspect

Bakugou Katsuki: likely safe

Iida Tenya: safe

Todoroki Shouto: suspect

Kaminari Denki: on the fence

Sero Hanta: safe

Aoyama Yuga: possible suspect

Does that sound okay?"

Everyone in the room nodded. No one got offended if they were deemed a suspect, even Mineta wasn't that upset. They knew that this was serious. Even the bakusquad, most of which didn't believe the traitor theory at first, were paying close attention, and they had stopped joking about people being the traitor.

"But," Jirou said, "we also need to think about people we usually wouldn't assume it could be, like Kouda, or even Uraraka." Everyone seemed a little conflicted; they didn't even think of that.

"She's right," Kaminari agreed. "Usually what makes a good actor is their ability to convince people that they aren't acting-their ability to make people truly believe what they say." Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Alright then," Iida declared, "let's go over the list once more, shall we?" At everyone's agreement, he continued. "Midoriya Izuku."

Kirishima gave an argument for Midoriya. "No offense bro, but you're an awful liar. Iida, Yaoyorozu, and Todoroki saw how bad it was when he tried to convince Aizawa-sensei that we weren't planning to try to save Bakugou."

Midoriya looked embarrassed. "That's... actually really fair." The other three nodded in agreement.

Iida nodded. "Okay, so Midoriya is still safe. How about Kirishima?"

Bakugou scoffed. "As if. Dumb hair doesn't have a bad cell in his body. He's also horrible at pretending that he doesn't dye his hair. He'd make an awful spy."

"However," Yaoyorozu added, "unless he is feeling a lot of either excitement or anger, Kirishima is usually fairly good at strategy, and he didn't think about Cementoss's quirk not having a time limit like his and Sato's, so he may have failed the exam on purpose so he wouldn't go to the training camp. Actually, now that I think about it, you could add that into Sato as well, they could have been working together on that."

Iida looked at the two in question. "Do either of you have any arguments?" When they shook their heads, he continued. "Alright, so change Kirishima and Sato to possible suspects then?" At everyone's affirmations, Iida altered the chart to put those two under possible suspects. "Okay, what about Yaoyorozu?"

"She can lie if she has to, but she doesn't like doing it. Plus, if it's something big, she almost always breaks from guilt and ends up telling the truth," Todoroki shared.

"She was also the one with the idea of putting the GPS tracker on the villains at the training camp," Tokoyami added. Everyone mumbled in agreement.

Shouji interjected. "On the other hand, her family has a lot of money, which means information, which could mean possible indirect contacts to the League of Villains, such as brokers or maybe even Yakuza."

"Well," she replied, "I don't have much of an argument against that. Where will that put me?"

Iida furrowed his eyebrows. "I'd say it would put you on the fence. Does that sound good?" At (almost) everyone's nods and sounds of approval, he put Yaoyorozu under 'on the fence'.

"Guys, don't you think this is, like, morally... I mean, we're basically asking ourselves which of our friends are most likely to betray us and lie about wanting to be a hero. Do none of you think that's kind of messed up?" Uraraka looked conflicted and almost angry at everyone.

"I... I know what you mean," Kouda agreed. "You guys are my best friends, but at this point, what choice do we have? We've had so many really sensitive trips and training exercises this year, I can't even imagine what it would be like if the traitor wasn't revealed by second year, and it would be even worse in third..."

"You know, Uraraka," Mineta interrupted, "maybe you're just saying that because you want us to stop investigating this because you're the traitor."

"He kind of has a point, Uraraka..." Kirishima said. "Why are you trying to stop the investigation?"

Uraraka looked shocked, and worried. "What?! I'm not! I just... You guys know me. I'm worried about what'll happen if we get this wrong. Our class will get divided. We're going to end up fighting each other trying to defend our friends, and then we'll all hate each other! Like, what if I accused Mina of giving the League the training camp location? I would be accusing her of being the reason Deku might not be able to use his arms if he breaks them again! Do you guys get how serious this is?"

"We know, Uraraka!" Midoriya yelled. "I don't want to do this either, but we have to! It's better that one of us is arrested than some of us dead. Besides, no one besides Mineta got offended when they were deemed a suspect, and even he didn't complain too much. You're the only one that wants to stop the investigation, and now even I'm getting suspicious of you."

Uraraka felt betrayed. "Wh... Deku, you... we've known each other all year, we've even been living together! How could you guys think it was me?! If I were to pick anyone in this class, I would say Bakugou! I mean, just look at how he acts. He's one step from being a villain already."

Bakugou got angry. "You were just talking about how you wanted us to stop doing this, then you go and accuse me?! Besides, trying to convince us it wasn't you based on what we know about you isn't even a mediocre strategy."

"Besides," Midoriya added, "Kacchan may be rough around the edges, but he's no villain. I've known him since we were practically babies. I can read him like an open book. I know all of his tells, and he's almost as bad a liar as I am. Plus he hates getting in trouble more than anything. He's not a traitor." Bakugou looked grateful that Midoriya stood up for him, but he didn't say anything.

"Fine. Do what you want, but I'm leaving. Unlike you guys, I'm not going to accuse my friends of being a villain." Uraraka slammed the door as she left, and you could hear her stomping to the elevator to go to her room.

Iida cleared his throat. "Okay... well, she's going on the suspect list then, and hands up if you want to put Bakugou on safe?" 15 hands went up. "Okay, Bakugou is getting moved up then. Next is... Hagakure. We've already addressed that, even though you can't get out at night because of the thermal sensors, you very well could during the day, especially if no one can see the door. It's also fairly easy for you to listen in on the teachers' conversations, which would make it easier for you to get information. I hate to be basing most of this solely on your quirk, but do you have anything to say in your defense?"

"No, I don't have anything. I'm sorry," Hagakure replied.

"It's fine," Iida said. "Mineta?"

"As much as I would like to say it's him," Jirou said,"reasonably speaking, other than the history of his... actions towards the girls, he really doesn't have any evidence going for him. As much as I... loathe to say it, he's likely safe."

"Fair enough. Ojiro?"

"Now that I think about it," Kouda quietly stated, "there isn't really any evidence going either way for Ojiro, so maybe put him in neutral?"

Ojiro sighed. "As usual. That sounds fine."

"Okay. Shouji?"

Midoriya looked determined to prove a point. "Guys, he literally lost one of his hands so he could help protect everyone because of Dark Shadow going out of control. There's no way Shoji is the traitor. He's definitely safe. I don't care what his quirk can do. He's proven that he's 100% loyal to us."

Everyone immediately agreed, and Shoji looked a little embarrassed. "Alright then," Iida smiled, "Kouda?"

"Well, his quirk is really useful for spying," Sero said, "but at the same time, it would be really hard to believe that Kouda is the traitor. I mean, no offense, but he's scared of bugs."

Kouda smiled. "None taken. I appreciate the positive argument."

Iida nodded. "Alright, does anyone have any more information for Kouda?" When no one answered, he continued. "Asui, then?"

"Well, she is brutally honest pretty much all the time, but there's not much emotion that comes with it," Midoriya said. "There's also the fact that she likes to go in the forest to find damp places, but we never see her, so, for all we know, she could be in the middle of town."

"Well, I can't prove you wrong," Asui replied, "so I guess that's evidence for me."

"Alright, so I'll say likely suspect then." Iida marked her on the list. "What about Jirou?"

Sato decided to say something. "She does have her punk aesthetic, but I don't think that's really evidence. Her quirk does make it easier for her to spy, though."

"But," Jirou countered, "I can't hear actual voices with my quirk. It's just vibrations and stuff like that, so, while my quirk is good for stuff like detecting footsteps, it would be useless trying to understand a conversation."

"Fair enough," Iida said. "So neutral then. Ashido's next."

"Well, Ashido has a really bubbly personality," Kirishima said, "and I feel like she would be the type of person to try to prove the people that said she would be a villain because of her quirk wrong, y'know?"

"Does anyone have anything else to say to that?" Iida asked. No one said anything. "Okay, Tokoyami then."

"I, um, I hate to say it," Yaoyorozu began, "but what with his personality as well as his quirk, he does make a likely suspect. There's also the thing with him, and Shouji, for that matter, have this tendency of... well, just kind of... watching people from the shadows. They could definitely use this for spying, but we've already addressed that the likelyhood of Shouji being the traitor is almost none."

"He's also fairly closed off from everyone," Sero added, "but when he does talk to us, he's really nice, so I'd say maybe in the middle, leaning suspect?" He looked to Tokoyami. "Is that okay?" Tokoyami silently nodded.

"Alright then. My turn."

"It's not actual evidence," Shouji said, "but I honestly think everyone here agrees that you could never do anything like that."

"Yeah, you totally listen to the rules too much!" Mina agreed.

"Alright. Todoroki's turn."

"It's kind of like, really obvious that you absolutely hate your dad, plus you don't show much emotion, so I think you're still a suspect," Kaminari gave, with several people, including Todoroki himself, nodding along.

"So still a suspect then. Kaminari?"

"If I may, Iida," Tokoyami said, "I believe that Kaminari is in the same boat as Kirishima and Sato. Sometimes he goes a bit out of character and acts very intelligent, even though he gets bad grades very often, so the failing could be a cover-up."

"But I- um, actually that's pretty fair..." said boy replied.

"Possible suspect then. Sero?"

"I would say the same for Sero," Midoriya said, "but, unless Midnight is a traitor, which, despite her... unique personality, is extremely unlikely considering she is a hero, he couldn't have easily planned the final exams, so I would say safe."

Iida nodded. "Last but not least is Aoyama."

"I think I will go ahead and say this myself, mes amies," Aoyama began. "Though my personality is very sparkly and non-threatening for the most part, there are a few people here that could attest that I am a little... creepy at times."

Several people nodded along and made general gestures of agreement.

"Yeah, that cheese thing was... intense. On the other hand, though, you are generally very friendly and easy to get along with, so I think you'd be more in the middle than anything." Midoroya looked fairly confident in his answer.

Iida cleared his throat. "Alright then, let's go over the new suspect list."

[charliedawn]

Pennywise 1990 X Reader X Pennywise 2017 "The Joke's On You" part 1

Part 2: https://charliedawn.tumblr.com/post/648205835225415680/the-jokes-on-them-part-2

"Ssssooooo..Why clowns ?"

Both of them look at you with a frown of incomprehension on their faces..

" Because of the fear."

They answer at the same time. Funny, its the first time you see them act so..alike. You mean, of course, they are big scary child-eating monsters..But they never seemed to be agreeing on anything, so when you ask the question, their looks and answers are so similar that it makes you think of another question.

" Also..Are you like brothers or something ? Related ? Father and son, or that can't happen with your kind ? You just eat children and do not produce them ?"

Penny, the tall ginger clown only crouches like a frog while the other one only looks at him with disgust.

" Yeah..Right..As if I would ever be related to that one..Nah. We're just hunting together now..Normally, he would not wake up at the same time as me, so we wouldn't really meet. But the idiot messed up his schedule while overstaying in order to kill some dumb kids and he woke up the same time I did !"

He glares at Penny who doesn't seem concerned at all by the way the other one is describing the situation. Even though it's quite offensive..The older one continues and looks at me with a repulsive snare at the idea.

" We don't produce children. Although, we never tried. We are mostly made of pure fear materialized only by the decaying flesh of our victims..We're supposed to be impossible to kill and we don't even know when we were born nor where. But, I remember that the first time I saw a human, many centuries ago, people mostly called us "Wendigos".."

You open your eyes wide in surprise at the news.

"Wendigos ?! So, that means you were humans before ?!"

The young one snickers and his yellow eyes glare at me.

" Humans ?! Ah ! What a joke ! They cry, love, betray, they only crawl on an endless path until they become old, ugly and die. This is why we eat them..They are of no use..They are dancing on a ball of dirt that they squeezed so much that it has no more to give..And you know what is the most ironic ? Is that they prefer to blind themselves more than face the truth..There is no beauty or originality in humans..Doves fly, dogs bark, dears run and even dolphins are more intelligent than you..Now tell me, why would the world need you, when we have the exact same talents in every animal that comes with the letter D ? I didn't even have to go out of my favorite letter to find every good thing you've ever done in animals that are not destroying their own habitat. What makes you so special ? What makes you think that you deserve living when all you do is destroy and hide the truth ?!"

It is the most you have ever heard Penny speak and even Pennywise seems shocked by his sudden outburst. Penny is so close to you that you can see his anger reflecting in his eyes. You try to not let fear show but, it's hard. You gulp and look at the ground in shame. He was right..What did you bring that no other living being ever did ? Humans were parasites and he smirks before returning at his crouching position.

" That's what I thought."

He whispers and Pennywise smiles almost proudly before hitting him in the back a little too hard since Penny growls.

" Wow. Didn't know you had it in you ! In all honesty, I never even thought about why I eat humans..I mean, we both know that human and animal food taste the same..But, for some reason, I always hated humans..Never really knew why and never cared enough to ask !"

He answers with a grin.

You frown then gasp in horror which both of them seem to notice since they turn their heads towards you in frightening synchronization.

" Wait ! Does that mean..You chose to eat humans ?! That you can perfectly live without their meat and just eat like normal people?!"

Pennywise answers with a grin.

" Come on..You should have figured it out by now..We don't really care about what we're eating, as long as it has flesh and fear : which animals and humans both have in common. But, as he said before, why choose them over you ?"

He looks at you up and down before adding with a large grin.

" Now that I think about it, if it wasn't for your rare quality of blood, you would already be a past meal.."

You shiver and he bursts out laughing.

Yeah..You remember..The only thing that kept you alive was you blood type..O- was, from what you had understood, sweeter ? Like some kind of cake or candy..This is why they wanted to keep you alive.."Saving best for last" as they had said.

Ah ! How lucky am I ?! You think.

You sigh and turn the other way to face anything else but the two clowns. At that moment, your foot hits something. You look down at the ground and are surprised to see some pencils. You glance behind you, but the other two don't seem to care about you anymore..for now. You get the pencils and look around for a surface to try them on and when you've finally decided, you walk towards it. You stop and close your eyes to visualise what you want to draw..Then, inspiration hits you and it's like your hands are dancing on the hard surface. You're so concentrated that you don't even notice the two creatures stopping whatever they were doing to look at you with confusion written all over their faces. You continue and seconds, minutes, hours pass. The two clowns, curious of what you are doing, now stand next to you silently, as to not break your concentration. They just look at your drawing from each side of you, their eyes wide, surprised and unable to find words to describe it. You are breathless, exhausted, but don't want to stop. If it was the last thing you would do, then let it be beautiful..Even if the only living things that would ever see it would be two nightmarish clowns that didn't give two shits about art or expression of oneself. When you finish, you are surprised to find two gloved hands on you drawing..You look at each side of yourself and see the two clowns, weirdly still and their eyes glued to your work. For a moment, you almost laugh at their, surprisingly, childish faces. They look like your young Art and Crafts students that you teach, always awed by whatever you would do.

But, what makes you smile the most, is that the first reaction they had was to touch it with their hands, as if the drawing had called them in. You sometimes had students like that, that could only understand Art by touching it. This is why whenever you would bring one of your works, you told the kids to do the first thing that came to their mind with it (as long as it wasn't tearing it apart or painting on it of course) Everyone had different reactions. Some liked to look from a far, some liked a closer angle and, as you had witnessed, some preferred touching it..But, what surprises you next is your own reaction. You grab one of the pencils and trace the shadow of your own hand on your drawing, as a proof. Then, you gently take Penny's hand that looks almost frightened by your touch, but he lets you hold onto his hand and do the same thing that you just did with your own. He giggles slightly as the pencil lightly "tickles" him and, to your surprise, his claws get out. He wants to retract them, nearly in shame, but you make it clear that it doesn't bother you while tracing the contour of his claws as well. When you are finished with him, you turn towards the older one that had already taken his hand off with a snicker.

" If it is a trick to impress us, it will not work, your hocus-pocus will not stop us from eating you..Anyway, I'm sure you have a knife hidden somewhere and only wait for me to let my guard down to stab me in the back."

You only answer with a sad smile of silent resolve while reaching for his hand.

" No trick. No hocus-pocus. No knife. Only me, your hand and a way to make you remember that, for a minute, I managed to make you feel something else than anger, hate or hurt.."

He frowns, visibly hesitant, before finally giving in with a childish grumble.

You finally trace his fingers on your colorful drawing, mixing the color of the rainbow and the greyish color that composed the colors of their suits. And, at the middle, all those colors forming one gigantic tree, that tree being your own personal touch..A tree that, maybe, will learn Penny that, even though humans destroy, they also create and Pennywise that, even though he lost any hopes concerning humanity, the particularity of the humans, the thing that makes them truly special are their hope. Because, even if animals are better than you in every aspect, they do not hope..And they do not have the imagination to create any other outcomes than eat or be eaten. This is maybe why the two clowns seem much more appreciative of those creatures than the humans ? Because they are much easier to understand ? You smile proudly at your little discovery. Like this tree, humans are made of so many different colors that it is difficult to find a pattern..Both of them said that they hated Humanity, but if it is true then..

" I may have understood why you chose to be clowns.."

They turn towards you : Penny with a side smile and Pennywise with an arked eyebrow.

" Oh ? And why is that ? You're gonna tell us that it's because we liked making people laugh when we were "humans" ?!"

The older one says, putting humans between brackets mockingly while the other one is cackling behind him. You smile again and shake your head while they come down to a sitting position; one on his favorite worn out leather chair and the other one on the dirty floor. They both look up at you expectantly, as if they are expecting you to read them a bedtime story..

" Well..I don't think it is about the form in itself, it is more about the colors and the fact that it symbolizes things that you never had when you were "humans".."

You say between brackets as to imitate Pennywise that is looking at you with another one of his signature mocking smile.

" What are you talking about ?! I am funny ! The funniest in town if you ask me !"

He says proudly, while Penny only rolls his eyes at his comment.

You shake your head again with a smile and even answer with a little laugh.

" No. Not that. You feed only from fear..Correct ?"

They both nod in unison and then, you ask a question that they had never even asked themselves before.

" Why only fear ?"

They want to answer that it is obvious, that it is stupid to even ask. But they have to admit it at the end, they do not know themselves. After a while, you answer for them.

" You do not feed on fear. But on faith."

They frown and Pennywise asks, confused.

" What do you mean ?"

You try to find words to explain your thinking and finally sigh, as it is no easy task.

" You feed on the only thing that you do not have, and that humans are the only ones to possess..Our faith and beliefs. We believe that there are monsters under our beds, then you take their appearance. In fact, I don't even know if you can transform in anything else than scary things, can you ?"

They look at each other before looking back at you and Penny is the first one to answer you.

" We never tried..and what for even ?"

You smile and get up, dusting your knees.

" Humans are afraid, but what they fear the most is losing their most cherished things. Try with me. Try to guess my most cherished thing on Earth.."

The two clowns seem interested by the idea and you can feel them trying to find your most precious memories. They already know your biggest fear..And in all honesty, after having seen it so many times, you aren't that scared of insects anymore. Now, let's see if they are as powerful as they say they are..

Penny transforms into a puppy and you smile tenderly while extending your arms in order to take him in your arms. But then, another head appears, then another, then another..

He returns to his normal appearance, almost as out of breath as you were before.

" I..I can't..stay in this form very long."

You nod understandingly and then, turn towards the oldest that only shrugs at the odd reaction of the young one. Pennywise seems to look at you with a little bit more seriousness, his hand scratching his chin in silent observation. You know that he is trying to figure you out and is taking the dare to heart. And, suddenly, his smile widens and his eyes brighten as he has a sudden epiphany and you frown in worry. What did he see ? Suddenly, he gets up and slowly walks towards you with a weird crooked smile, looking more smug than usual.

" If I have learned something about your kind is that you have one thing that you always bring up.."

You frown in incomprehension, what does he mean ? Suddenly, Penny smiles creepily and you shiver, he must have understood some kind of hidden message because you sure as hell didn't get the memo ! You smile awkwardly, your pulse racing and cold sweat start to form on your skin. Whatever he has in mind..You sure as Hell didn't know what it is, and that scares you more than anything..Pennywise backs you up against the wall of your drawing and smirks.

" I..I think we played enough..I'm tired..We can maybe continue tomorrow..?"

You ask, your heartbeats quickening and both clowns looking at you with bright yellow eyes. However, suddenly, both of them shout at the same time.

" Money !"

" Food !"

You open your eyes wide at Pennywise that gets out some coins from his pocket and you then turn towards Penny that just shouted food like it was some kind of good answer at a test. Tears start building up at the corner of your eyes and you sigh in relief before biting your lips shut, trying to contain your laughter.

Penny frowns at your expression and says in a small, almost childish, voice.

" Wasn't the point of the game to say one of the things you cherish the most ? Don't you cherish food ? Why are you crying ? Did I win ?!"

Suddenly, you start laughing uncontrollably and Pennywise answers him in a really angry voice.

" No! You didn't, big dummy! The game was transform, not yelling the answer at the top of you lungs like an idiot!"

Penny frowns and crosses his arms while pouting. But you answer through each giggle.

" You're wrong! Both of you!"

They look at you with wide eyes before growling.

" Then, what is the answer ?! "

Pennywise yells, frustrated and you answer.

" Love ! We value love ! Family, friends.."

Penny frowns and scoffs.

" Well, you're funny ! How do you transform into something you don't even know ?!"

You gasp, this is why he couldn't stay in the form of a puppy ! He didn't know how they truly acted towards affection ! You could have almost felt sorry for them if it didn't mean alerting their fear senses for food..But, you could try to find a way to get them to learn more about the true meaning of love. 

Pennywise lets you go and sighs in defeat while turning towards Penny.

" Boy ! You don't have to transform into love ! You just had to take the appearance of something she wanted to love, dumbass ! Like I don't know, a human she know ?!"

You suddenly open your arms wide and they both look at you with widened eyes.

" What the heck are you doing ?"

Pennywise asks with a scowl and Penny only frowns, his eyes diverting on strange angles. You try not to think about the fact that you're going to try to hug two interdimensional demons and just wrap your arms around them. At first, you really thought one of them was going to shred you to pieces, but they become as still as statues.

" This is what humans call a hug. It's super effective and it is the first thing in affection."

Penny is still as a rock, and you even ask yourself if he is even breathing..Before remembering that he surely doesn't even have a heart. Pennywise is the first one to move and gets you off harshly. His eyes are of a wild red color and he looks in pain. He clutches his heart and growls animalistically at you. He then runs towards the exit and glances at you one last time.

" I am hungry. I'm going hunting..Penny, keep an eye on her ! If she even moves a muscle, eat her."

Penny seems to get back from his shock and only nods quietly.

When Pennywise is gone, your focus comes back on Penny that, you had noticed, had taken more distance between himself and you after your attempt at affection. As if he was..scared ? You try to approach him, talk or even apologize, but he only growls warningly at you and shows you his really sharp teethes..making you reconsider.

You tried to make them look at humanity from a different perspective, like at your drawing, but looks like nothing could be done..You'd die here. Anyway, the joke's on you since you were the one who thought you could change them..Silly you. Monsters will always remain monsters..Hope ? Who are you kidding ?! You lost that the moment you ended up in that damned sewer ! You start crying and, for some reason, your sobs catch the attention of Penny. He looks at you, then at his pile of toys, then back at you. He then begins climbing it and that makes you wonder what he is doing ? Is he leaving you ? Eat a rotten piece of child ? You have no time to wonder more as he quickly gets back on the ground and, with measured steps, approaches you with the same wariness as a wild animal. He then throws you something and gets back into his corner with a piece of a child's leg in his other hand.

He starts chomping on it and you look at what he threw at you..A music box ? You look at him quizzically and, after swallowing, he answers your silent question.

" Don't read anything into it. Your tears make me uncomfortable, so I got you something to keep you from doing that..If I eat you now, Pennywise would be angry at me for not sharing, and I have had enough of his loud voice for one day. Now, make this thing work. I want to listen to it, it has a nice sound and you have nothing else to do.."

You stay still for a moment before smiling softly at him.

" Sure..Thanks.."

You start playing the little music box and are surprised to see that it is the moonlight sonata of Beethoven..A beautiful music that invades the whole sewer with its melody echoing on the walls. You smile widely, at least something to remind you of the outside world.

Outside, Pennywise has his mind set on finding his next meal, but, suddenly stops in the forest and, weirdly enough, hears the song..Then, the pang in his chest that he felt before comes back and he can suddenly hear the words that an idiotic turtle called Maturin once told him before dying..

" Just because you bury something, that doesn’t mean it stops existing, Robert Gray. You can hide your heart, but someone will one day dig far enough to find it.."

Robert Gray..It had been such a long time that he had heard this name. At the time, he had only laughed mockingly at the old senile turtle..But now..Even Bob had felt it. No..Not Bob..Penny. They had chosen to never speak of those disgusting human names again. But then, she had showed up..They could eat her, never talk about it again, continue hunting children and living until the end of the world..She was human..They both knew that, she would grow old..tired..cumbersome and then die. But then, something else that the bothersome turtle had said comes back in his mind. One time, Pennywise had dared ask why the turtle loved humanity so much ? And he had answered something strange that Pennywise had not expected.

" Humanity has only scratched the surface of its real potential. Someday, you will understand why Humanity is so important, Robert.."

" My name is Pennywise ! The destroyer ! The eater of Worlds ! I have no sympathy for humans ! Whoever they are or whatever they do !"

He kept telling himself that, trying to convince himself but then..Why can't he believe his own words ? What was bothering him ?! Why did he feel this way after only talking for a few days to a simple human ?! Or..was it the tree ? The tree she had drawn ? Yes, there should have been some kind of trick behind it ?! She had tricked them as he had firstly assumed ! But then, why did he feel so out of control ? As if he was wrong ? Did the words of the turtle, for once, really made sense ? He closes his eyes and sighs before punching a tree and making it fall..No ! He wouldn't allow it ! He wouldn't allow the old turtle to make a fool out of him even after death ! He was going to kill her ! And that was a promise ! He was not going to let her question everything anymore ! He would shut her up ! No more idiotic questions: no more opportunities to manipulate his feelings ! Yes ! That would be it ! The idea of going hunting out of his head, he walks back to the sewer with a determined smirk. Yeah..We'll see who'll be the fool at the end..Maturin..