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jetblack4realz · 4 months ago

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dance with me - willard hewitt x reader

summary: as willard's best friend, you hear all about his drama with rusty and how he refuses to dance for her. but when he hears your desires to dance with him, it changes everything.

warnings: none

word count: 3.1k

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you absolutely loved country dancing. you'd grown up learning it from your older brothers and cousins, being able to do the wildest of flips and dips with the right partner. it was the most exhilarating and enjoyable experience to be had in salt lake city, so when you moved to small town bomont you brought it with you. it was all fine until your 8th grade year when five seniors were killed after a dance and it was banned altogether. the only dancing to be had was in your bedroom or garage with your friends - it was a real downer.

your friends woody and wendy jo would have dances in woody's uncle's lot on friday nights and it was easily the highlight of your week. you'd drag your best friend willard with you, who would only ever watch as you got your howdy on, swinging and dipping with various guys around town.

there was a girl who had a certain liking for willard, always getting excited when she saw you drag him outside to the empty parking lot.

"dance for me," rusty said excitedly. "come on, willard, you never dance!"

"i'm not a dancer," he insisted, waving her off. "go have fun."

but she was persistent, pulling at his arms and trying to drag him out.

"you're no fun," she whined as he waved her off again. you caught sight of the situation, dancing casually up to rusty and taking her by the hands.

"you're right, but hey, i am so much fun," you said with a grin. you spun her around, willard giving you a grateful smile as you winked at him. "come on, rusty. there's some guys out here looking for partners."

you bumped into ren, who you'd met earlier thanks to willard and had spent every day with since. he definitely had some moves and you bounced off each other's energies easily, dancing around with loud laughs.

after another song, you found your way back to where willard was letting his legs hang off the edge of the brick border. you stood between them, patting his knees.

"you alright, will?" you asked.

"yeah," he insisted. "you mind if i come over after this inevitably gets shut down."

"you always do," you laughed.

"right," he nodded with a chuckle. "now go on. i don't want to ruin your fun."

"you're not ruining my fun," you told him with a smile. "you make it fun, willard hewitt. i drag you to these things with me because i enjoy spending time with you, if i thought you killed the vibe i'd just leave you at home."

he was sorta stumped for a moment before he pushed you off again, nodding towards ren. "well, go keep him away from ariel then. chuck's giving the poor kid the evil eye."

"you got it," you laughed, sliding over to where ren was dancing all in ariel's business.

afterwards, as expected, you and willard were sat on your back porch, dumping the information of the night.

"willard hewitt," you laughed, poking towards him. "you calm down."

"what for?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders. "i'm cool as a cucumber, y/n. ain't nothing about me needs to calm down."

"why's this dancing thing got you all worked up?" you asked, crossing your legs underneath you on the bench swing. "every night you spend with rusty leads you home to me complaining. why is that?"

he laid back in the hammock opposite you the wrong way, using it as a chair and not for its intended use. his eyes were on the overhang above as he pondered your words.

"i guess i just hate that anytime we're together all she wants me to do is dance for her," he sighed. "and i can't dance! i'm embarrassed to dance, so i want her to quit asking."

"you ever think about telling her that?" you asked with a soft smile.

"no," he huffed. "'cause that's more embarrassing than just dancing."

"look will," you said, leaning forward to rest your forearms on your knees. "if you don't want to dance, then don't. but if you want to, i'd be happy to help. it'd be my dream to finally dance with willard hewitt." you giggled at the end of your sentence as he considered your offer.

"you won't judge me?" he asked.

"i will, but i won't tell anyone else," you promised with a teasing grin. "this information is for us two and us two only."

he debated for a few more moments before sitting up and sliding out of the hammock.

"alright, come on," he said, holding a hand out to you. you stood up excitedly.

"okay, i don't know how to teach individual dancing, maybe we'll get ren to help with that, but i can teach swing dances. just take my hands, keep your arms loose, and step forward with your right foot, and off to the side," you instructed carefully, holding his hands in yours as you did as you told him to. "now the other side. good!"

you continued to pull on his arms in and out, helping him get the feel for the basic two-step.

"okay, now let go of one hand, and i'm gonna spin outwards, tehn inwards, and when i do you catch my hand again, alright?" you said. he nodded, watching you with an intensity you weren't used to.

you followed your own instructions and when your back was against his chest you reached for his hand again.

"when rusty gets here, you'll probably want to hold her for a second. just rock back and forth," you instructed softly. you weren't a stranger to hugging willard, but this was a bit different and you kind of really enjoyed it. "okay, then let me spin out. perfect!"

you did this until probably 2 in the morning, your grins wide by the end.

"you think you can dance with her now?" you asked as you both fell into the hammock, head on his shoulder resisting the urge to just fall asleep.

"nah," he mumbled.

"what? why not?" you asked, turning to look at him more intently.

"dancing with you is easy, natural. and hey, i barely had to do anything, you just made me look good. with rusty it'll be... i don't know. awkward," he admitted.

"well, how about we just wait and see how you're feeling," you said, leaning back into his side. "maybe a few lessons with ren will get you loosened up."

"i'm not learning how to dance."

"you just did, willard."

"i'm not learning to dance by myself. that's too out in the open, too much room for embarrassment. like i said before, you make me look good."

"whatever. i'll get ren to convince you."

"you promised you wouldn't tell anyone."

"will, everyone knows you don't dance. i'm sure he'll try anyways."

"whatever."

ren invited you out with him, ariel, and willard, but since rusty is ariel's best friend she got pulled along too. it was a bit cramped in his little bug, you spending two hours snug between a very quiet willard and a very talkative rusty. the girl was sweet and all, but she was being very obvious about how she wished she had my spot.

after some time, you finally just told her to unbuckle and switch you - at least then you'd have the window and could effectively tune out the talking. you just wanted to get out of town and get to dancing already.

willard sighed as rusty kicked him in the knee and then the side trying to climb over you as you slid underneath her.

"what are y'all doing?" ariel asked with a laugh.

"rusty wanted the middle seat," you answered.

"guys, we're literally here," ren chuckled, pulling up to the massive venue. you whooped as he parked, throwing your door open and bounding out.

willard was a lot happier outside the car, his eyes lighting up at the establishment.

ariel grabbed rusty as they neared the doors, you grabbing willard with a smile and pulling him into the room.

"come on loser," you said with a smile. "let's get you a drink."

"you're not gonna dance y/n?" ren asked as they neared the dance floor. the other girls left onto the floor, leaving you with the boys.

"i'll be out in a second, just keeping willard company as we grab drinks," you said.

"you shouldn't need to, willard's coming out to dance too, right?" the boy asked with a pointed look at his friend.

"look, ren i don't dance. i... i can't dance," he whispered.

"go upstairs, there are some nice ladies teaching the four-step," ren answered with a grin.

"hey, no, you can't drop me off at daycare while you go and dance with the girls!" willard said.

"he's fine, come on," ren told you, laughing. he grabbed your arm and pulled you onto the dance floor just as a song was starting - and you knew this song. you loved this song and you loved to dance to it.

and willard knew it too.

he laughed, giving you two thumbs up as you all fell into line, beginning the footwork as the music to 'fake id' kicked up. he loved watching you dance, the look on your face was always so bright and joyous.

unbeknownst to you, he had actually tried to learn to dance before as to join you, but he never really got the hang of it. too long of legs, he believed.

he grabbed a drink and watched y'all more, smiling. rusty broke out of the group, running over to him.

"willard, come on," she begged, pulling on his arm. "dance with me."

for some reason, her words caused him to look at where y/n was dancing in a circle with ren, ariel, and a few other people. he smiled lightly before returning his attention to the girl below him.

"sorry, but i don't dance," he said.

"so you're just gonna stand over here like a dork the whole night?" she asked teasingly.

"rather that than a dancing dork," he retorted with a sheepish smile. she looked like she was heavily debating something before reaching up, but before she could grab him and likely kiss him he took a swig of his drink, leaning back. she settled on resting her hands on his before stepping away. she swayed her hips in what was supposed to be a sexy manner, but it just wasn't working for willard. and as she ran off, ending up in the arms of another dude with his hands on her bottom, he didn't care as much as he thought he would. as the song changed to a swing song, his eyes travelled to you, hoping he wouldn't see you in the same situation.

luckily for him, you was making your way towards him. you leaned on the railing in front of him, looking up with a curious smile.

"you didn't want to show her your moves?" you asked. he shrugged.

"no, i don't mind showing her. i just don't wanna dance with her," he answered.

"what do you mean?" you asked with a quirked brow. "that's literally what all this was for."

"i don't think so," he said, stepping to the side and around the railing until he was in front of you, holding his hands out. "wanna dance?"

you grinned widely, taking his hands and pulling him in the middle of the swing dancing mess. ren and ariel were basically just sexy dancing at this point, but you were intent on dancing with willard.

you did the two step a few times before letting go of one hand and spinning out like you showed him. just before you went to spin back in, however, your other hand was grabbed and you got pulled into someone else's chest.

it was a man you were sure was at least five years older than you and his hands were far lower than you would ever be comfortable with. you pushed away, hitting someone behind you.

willard stepped in front of you, effectively pissed off at whoever this guy was.

"what the hell do you think you're doing grabbing my girl like that?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"your girl has been dancing around all night without you, she needs someone who gives her some attention," the guy argued. he looked at you. "ain't that right, baby?"

willard was pissed. downright pissed. he threw a punch but so did the man and after two more attempts, willard was on the floor.

"you dick!" you cried, grabbing an empty bottle off a nearby table and smashing it over his head. you fell to your knees by willard's head as the man hit the floor. "will, are you okay?"

he groaned, sitting up. "i think it's time to go."

you weren't surprised when ren and willard informed you of ren's desire to change the law of bomont to allow teens to dance to their hearts' content. but what you were surprised, and overjoyed, about was that he began the mission to teach willard to dance.

"i already taught him the two step," you informed the boy with a smile. "so, don't worry about that."

"sweet," ren laughed, you following him and willard to the back of his uncle's shop where his little cousins and their friends were waiting. "willard, your teachers."

"oh no, i'm not doing this."

"they know this stuff and you know... nothing."

you, woody, and ren sat on the hood of his car, watching willard reluctantly begin to dance with the little girls to 'here comes the boy'. your heart was exploding with happiness at seeing willard hewitt dancing. you whooped and cheered as he dance, laughing as woody and ren offered their less-than-helpful insights.

over the course of the next week and a half, willard wasn't seen without his earbuds. he was constantly listening to music and dancing by himself. his dramatized shimmies were your favorite to watch, but his moonwalk was pretty impressive too.

when you all finally figured out that you could have a prom in beamis' warehouse, you were stoked to see willard's new moves. you just weren't expecting him to ask you to the dance.

he was at your doorstep with a bouquet of tulips and baby's breath, foot tapping quickly.

"willard?" you asked as you opened the door. "what's happening?"

"well, i was wondering if you wanted to go to the dance with me," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. "i mean, you're the only girl i can competently dance with, and you're my best friend, and well... y/n i like you. a lot. will you go with me?"

he held out the flowers and you smiled, accepting them gratefully and setting them on the table beside your door.

"of course i'll go with you, willard," you said, stepping toward him and wrapping your hands around his neck. "i like you a lot too."

"really?" he asked excitedly.

"definitely," you said, pressing your lips to his. he reciprocated immediately, hands on your waist pulling you closer to him. as you pulled away, you grinned.

"i'm excited to see your new moves."

"oh, i'll blow your socks off," he told you.

"i'm holding you to that, loverboy."

"you know, when you said you were gonna wear a hat, i didn't know how to feel," you told him, arm hooked through his as you approached the dance in your matching outfits. all black and blue, your favorite color.

"but, now that you've seen it..?" he asked.

you turned to him with a grin. "you're sexier than socks on a rooster."

"that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," he said, a hand over his heart.

"i mean it stud," you said, smiling as you pressed a kiss to his lips. "i'm so glad i'm able to do that now."

he smiled down at you, pulling you along next to him as he gazed at you. "you're cute."

then chuck and his friends pulled up, yelling for ren and jumping straight into business with willard, grabbing him by the arms. one grabbed you from behind, dragging you away as you kicked at the dirt.

"hey will?" you called.

"yes, darlin'?"

"you look really hot when you're punching another guy in the mouth."

"on it, baby."

he threw his head back, breaking a dude's nose, and punched the other square in the jaw. it was all a flurry after that, you escaping the guy holding you down and chasing him away with ariel, ren wrestling down chuck and beating him to crap, willard taking down no less than four of his lackeys, and beamis saving ren last minute from a boy with a brick.

"now, how about a little less boxing and more boogie, it looks like a morgue in there," he said to ren.

"on it!"

you ran to the steps, meeting willard there with a hug. he lifted you off the floor.

"you okay?" you asked.

"yeah, you?" you nodded and he grinned widely. "my little fighter."

"thank you, i kicked his ass!" you exclaimed excitedly as he pulled you up the stairs and into the dance finally. willard and ren load up some sort of shoot with confetti, the glittery stuff flying everywhere as ren yelled, "let's dance!"

'footloose' began playing and you were more than excited to hit the dance floor, watching ren pull people out onto it. you pulled on willard's hands, doing a little two-step action before he pulled you to the side again.

"what?" you asked.

"i'm gonna need you to hold my jacket," he said, stripping the piece of clothing off and dropping it in your arms with a wide grin.

"what? what's going on?" you asked.

"back up sweetheart, cause i don't know how big this is gon' get," he said before dropping into a crouch and snapping his fingers, dancing towards ren as ren did the same. you grinned from ear to ear, not expecting quite a show, but a show is what you got.

they did some fancy footwork, high-fiving and doing the classic foot cross routine, before suddenly dropping to the floor and doing some cool footwork there.

"wooh!" you cheered loudly with the widest smile you'd smiled in a long time. "go willard!"

ariel giggled next to you as you watched your boys continue, standing up and shimmying to the side. you grabbed the boy's arms with a wide smile.

"you didn't tell me about that," you exclaimed.

"it was a surprise," he laughed. "surprise!"

you wrapped him in a tight hug, laughing form joy. "i loved it!"

you two joined the rest of the group in dancing to footloose and danced the entire rest of the night away. it was perfect, swingdancing with your favorite person with all your friends. you couldn't have asked for a better senior prom.

#footloose #footloose2011 #willard hewitt #willard hewitt x reader #miles teller #miles teller x reader

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taylormarieee · 1 year ago

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Like how about the reader and carl have like a huge and hateful argument and we ignore each other and when negan comes we still ignore each other and Negan notices but when we go to sleep we cuddle because we have to share a bed?

Maybe?😮‍💨🤭🫣

GOD I LOVE THIS HSSDJSHSHSH

(I added a little bit of Daryl x Reader contact in this if you don't mind anon!)

You and Carl were inseparable. You guys truly loved each other an everyone saw that but when you guys get into an argument its nothing but the silent treatment.

"Well you shouldn't have gone over the wall! God I hate looking after you!" Carl yells.

"You could have been killed omg, why do you always have to make such stupid decisions! God I hate when you do this!" He continues.

"Well guess what Carl, you don't have to always look out for me! I don't need you! I never did Carl! I hate you so fucking much!" You yell back at him.

"Well guess what I hate you just as much! I never wanna see you ever again!" He yells back.

"Fine!"

You storm out of your shared house and of course today just had to be the day when Negan comes for supplies. God you really hated Negan and his whole clan.

God was really testing your patience today. The person you hate the absolute most just has to come after you just got into the biggest argument ever.

"Hey there teenage killer! Where's Carl, my favourite one-eyed murdurer." He says with that stupid smile on his face.

"I don't know and I don't care! I hate him! Negan just take what you need and get the hell out!" You say walking straight past him.

He sucks his teeth and licks his lips, "Ok!" He says, "Load em up boys!" He yells to his minions.

They all go into our houses and take what they want, everyone in Alexandria stands around waiting with nothing but disgust on their face.

"Theres my one-eyed killer! What's up with shorty over there." Negan asks.

"I don't care what's going on with her. I hate her." Carl responds with hatred.

"Take what you need and go Negan before my dad gets back." He says walking away from Negan towards Denise and Tara.

Your standing next to Daryl, glaring at Carl from afar as Carl does the same to you. You both ignore each other for the rest of the day.

Negan notices what's going on and so does Daryl. "What's goin on? Ya look like ya saw a witch." Daryl says.

You tried to keep a straight face but ended up laughing.

"What Daryl? What are you talking about!" You chuckle.

"You look as if ya hate witches. So tha's why I asked." He says fiddling with his knife.

"No, me and Carl got in a fight and we said some very hateful and hurtful things. So now were both ignoring each other." You say.

"That ain't gon last, not fer long." He grunts. "Oh yea? And how would you know?" You ask amused.

"Because, ya'll are on each other like flies on shit, ya love each other and one lil argument ain't gon stop tha kinda love." He says before walking away to let you think.

'No, I hate Carl! He's so annoying.' you thought, but was he really...

After a while the day finally comes to an end and the sun has gone down and everyone is heading to bed.

You haven't talked to Carl all day and that's how you liked it. You walk to your shared house hoping he wouldn't be there and he wasn't.

You took a quick shower and changed into some Pj's. You got out the bathroom only to be met with carl also getting changed.

He must have showered at his dad's house. Whatever, you didn't care anyway.

"Which side?" You say sternly not looking at him. "What?" He asks. You sigh and repeat it again.

"Which. Side! Which side of the bed are you sleepin on?" You ask more frustratedly.

He chooses the egde of the bed so you choose the side closer to the wall.

You crawl into bed with your back turned towards Carl. You sigh as his side of the bed dips. You relax as you slowly drift asleep.

You feel hands wrap around your waist. " 'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Do you forgive me?" Carl whispers.

You nod. "Yea I forgive you, I'm sorry about what I said, I do need you, I always have and I always will. I love you Carl." You say sweetly.

'I love you too!" Carl says before pulling you closer letting the silence guide him to sleep.

'hm, Daryl was right.' you thought before finally falling asleep.

A/N: This can be found in my master list as "Silent Treatment". Hope you enjoyed Anon and I really liked this!

Taglist: @carlgrimesenthusiast @carlsdarling

#carl grimes #the walking dead #carl grimes x reader #twd carl grimes #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes angst

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oneforthemunny · 7 months ago

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A song that reminds you of each of your Eddie's + reader- and GO!

ooh wait this is a fun one. ok i had to think about this one but i think i've found them:

boxer!eddie and reader remind me of somethin' stupid by frank sinatra and nancy sinatra. two little black cats in love, and the chorus "and have a drink or two, and then i go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like, "i love you". i can see it in your eyes that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before. and though it's just a line to you, for me it's true and never seemed so right before."

rockstar!eddie and nepobaby!reader will forever remind me of faithfully by journey. i mean, "and lovin' a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be. oh, girl, you stand by me. circus life under the big-top world. we all need the clowns to make us smile. through space and time, always another show. wonderin' where I am lost without you. i'm forever yours, faithfully."

this one is going to be so fucking corny and idgaf!!! but for modern!eddie and mean girl, idk why true love by p!nk always comes to mind. "at the same time, i wanna hug you, i wanna wrap my hands around your neck. you're the only love i've ever known. but i hate you, i really hate you, so much i think it must be true love. just once try to wrap your little brain around my feelings, just once please try no to be so mean."

cowboy!eddie and sweet girl have always and will forever remind me of love is like a butterfly by the one and mother fucking only dolly parton our lord and savior. "love makes your heart feel strange inside, it flutters like soft wings in flight. love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing. i feel it when you kiss me, it happens when you're with me, that rare and gentle feelin' that i feel inside. everyday is springtime, and i am only happy when you are by my side." tbh i could quote the whole goddam song.

bouncer!eddie and bartender!reader this is another corny as fuck on so hold on, but it's you shook me all night long by acdc lmaooo. sexual chemistry through the roof, so much that it's shocking and appalling?? "she was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. she was the best damn woman that I ever seen. she's one of a kind, she's just mine, all mine." idk it's silly and slutty and fun just like them!

for janitor!eddie and teacher!reader i've always felt like forever by the beach boys is their song. super sappy and romantic and devoted and that's how they are to each other <3 "if every word i said could make you laugh, i'd talk forever. i asked the sky just what we had, it shone forever. let the love i have for you, live in your heart and be forever. forever, i've been so happy loving you."

older!eddie and reader, this one was hard bc i felt like there was so many to chose from, but ultimately i went with the one song that always takes me back to them and that's chemtrails over the country club by lana. the more i listen, the more it's their song bc "go to the market, the kids' swimming pools. me and my sister just playing it cool, under the chemtrails over the country club. meet you for coffee at the elementary schools. we laugh about nothing as the summer gets cool. it's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me. i'm not bored or unhappy, i'm still so strange and wild. washing my hair, doing the laundry. late-night tv, i want you only. it's never too late, baby, so don't give up."domestic and sweet.

this is also so silly and sweet and the best thing ever but for hockey!eddie and reader i fucking love the song hello, hello by elton john (yes from gnomeo and juliet lmaoooo). "never gonna find anything to change my mind, famous last lines of a fool. hello, hello. my, my, my, what have we here? sniffing all the flowers, running through an autumn shower, compare it to someone else like me." so fucking silly and so romantic like it's them. happy and silly and in love.

and i know you guys are making fun of me and i don't give one fuck bc i know you're about to do it again with this one bc it's coming completely out of left fucking field for these two!! for mafia!eddie and reader... babe i'm saying it, it's i see the light from tangled yes it fucking is. "all that time never even knowing, just how blind i've been. now i'm here, blinking in the starlight. and it's warm and real and bright, and the world has somehow shifted. all at once everything looks different, now that i see you. all those years living in a blur. if she's here, it's crystal clear, i'm where i'm meant to go." and listen, i could write a goddam essay on how this is them, both of them. living their lives before, thinking they're content, until they met the other and now they're confused how they were ever without the other. real ride or die shit.

for dom!eddie and sub!reader, i always think of i don't want to miss a thing by aerosmith lol. really bc they're a little chaotic but they really do love each other sm. true soulmate shit. "i could spend my life in this sweet surrender, where a moment with you is a moment i treasure. i don't wanna miss one smile, i don't wanna miss one kiss. i just wanna be with you, right her with you, just like this. and i just wanna hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine, and just stay here in this moment for all the rest of time." overly passionate and lovey and dramatic which is just their style.

#oneforthemunny #munnytalks #rockstar!eddie munson #cowboy!eddie munson #mafia!eddie munson #older!dilf!eddie munson #modern!eddie munson #eddie munson au #janitor!eddie munson #eddie munson #bouncer!eddie munson #hockey player!eddie munson #hockey!eddie munson #boxer!eddie munson #dom!eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #munnysings

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hcneygemini · 8 months ago

Text

𝖝. 𝖆. 𝖓. 𝖆. — lyrics sentence starters.

A collection of sentence starters from some singles released, minus anything featured in Tantrums ( the meme featuring those is here ). Do not add to or steal this meme. Feel free to change pronouns, edits phrasing, or generally slightly edit or combine lines as needed. Some lines have already been slightly rephrased for rp purposes. tw: cheating, toxic relationships, suggestive

MONSTER

i hold your mistakes high over your head, especially when they look like mine.

i'm not one to hand out forgiveness.

it pains me to admit you were right.

someday i will be someone you resent.

honey, the pleasure is all mine.

i heard you're calling me a traitor.

i owe you a good apology, i'll do it later.

i paint myself the good guy.

i heard you're calling me a monster.

after all the shit i pulled, you could do better.

i'll do what i want over what's right.

you gave me your all.

it was intimate.

i guess it ain't your fault that i can't commit.

i never listen.

i couldn't help but feel so indifferent.

all my failures are visceral.

i still taste blood from years ago.

you ain't good enough.

i can't even be honest with myself.

how could you believe i'd do that for someone else?

i don't want that life.

i'm kissing boys in the back of their cars.

it's half past 3.

you were fast asleep while i was on the phone with [ Jodie ].

will i ever know why i am like this?

i go for what i can't have, like i'm righteous.

i can't face the shame.

if you wanna place blame, just say my name.

i go home alone and i think it's strange.

i got what i want but it don't taste the same.

everyone who's ever loved me is the enemy.

i get high on all the jealousy.

you can't forgive the infidelity.

i don't wanna be someone who lives like that.

i was supposed to be a good friend, trusted.

i snuck around with the love of your life.

after all the shit i pulled, you should do better.

HOMEWRECKING ERA

wrap your thighs around me.

i could keep all your secrets.

cross my heart and hope i mean it.

think of all the damage i could do.

say less.

push me on the counter.

call me princess.

wish i could say no, but it's hopeless.

i'm losing focus.

i wonder if [ she ] knows about those pictures on your phone.

you should feel guilty, but you don't.

i'm in my homewrecking era.

got things i wanna do to you.

i feel bad for a minute.

you make me feel so good.

i taste something bitter in my mouth.

i left my bralette on the ground.

i can't help myself.

nobody fucks like me.

i'm the [ girl ] of your dirty dreams

the silence is deafening.

do you miss me?

i think [ she ] can taste me.

i can give you what you want.

we called it love.

we might've fucked it up.

baby, just fuck me up.

i'm the flame that keeps you warm at night.

don't i bring out the green in her eyes?

you like how pretty [ she ] is when [ she ] cries.

[ she ] loves you so much, even the lies.

we're both the one, but never the only.

you get so lonely

crown me the villain and hero tonight.

fucking me brought you together so nice.

i got a taste for the drama.

i spilled your guts 'cause i wanted.

look at all this damage that i do.

BETTER KIND OF BEST FRIEND

i can see [ her ] in my dreams.

i see [ her ] in my bed.

[ she's ] the goddamn vision that ringin' in my head.

i'm waitin', patient.

we could be good together.

let me release the pressure.

i think i found my treasure.

[ she ] tastes like heaven and she knows it.

i'm eager.

i just wanna please you.

she's got me prayin'.

i could be a better kind of best friend.

i'm a fan.

i don't die for my [ women ] anymore.

i'll do anything to have you.

i swear to be true.

i don't die for my [ women ] anymore, i kill for them.

you don't need to ask, you got my permission.

lord knows we tried.

can't stay away from each other.

you know i'm a sucker.

watch as i swallow my pride.

i wanna make it intimate.

i've got my finger on the trigger.

they come and go.

YOU DON'T WANT ME LIKE THAT ( also by Rachel Bochner )

if you hated me it'd be easier.

i know what's coming is really gonna hurt.

if i hated you, i would've never tried.

it's a habit you conditioned.

i wonder if you know you're bad.

i wanna tell you that i miss you.

you wouldn't say it back.

you don't want me like that.

you don't want a picture of me sitting on your nightstand.

you don't wanna touch me in the way we both know you can.

you just like the way i feel stuck in the palm of your hand.

where do you get off on it?

i do the extra credit but you're never satisfied.

i keep you center stage.

you keep me on the side.

i'm crossing all the lines.

you won't call it what it is.

you just call me when you're blue.

the fantasy is cute.

i would give you all i have.

i stay up waiting for you.

i can't keep waiting.

BABYBLUE

baby blue was always your color.

it's a little strange how we're seeing each other.

god, you look just as i remembered.

it's been a few years.

i've known you forever.

you packed your bags and moved to [ Boston. ]

you needed a place that you could get lost in.

time will tell.

you got my youth on your bedpost.

say it ain't so.

our picture's getting dusty.

you smell vanilla and don't think about me.

i hope it's alright, your life without me.

you ran to my house in the pouring rain.

i've cried every damn day since you left.

i don't mind if i never get over it.

i've been watching reruns.

i should call my little sister, i worry about her all the time.

you hold other hands.

i'm biting my tongue.

you're making new plans.

i'm coming undone.

i watch your old films.

looking at it now, i think i love you still.

i try to be cool.

if i never say a word, does it make it less true?

i feel the time go.

i fear the unknown.

it's getting so old.

all of my anxieties are filling up my diaries.

the water ran cold.

there's so much i don't know.

i think i gotta go.

you see green and don't think about me.

BAD BANDIT

i've been lonely for awhile now.

i'm tired of this ghost town.

[ she ] looks pretty on [ her ] poster.

i'm thinking i could hold [ her ].

i want you on my body.

won't you face it?

you wanna make or break it.

you wanna feel me naked.

i'll show you how to take it.

count your blessings when the devil ain't got nowhere to go.

maybe i'm bratty.

i taught that [ man ] a lesson.

[ he ] was charming and i loved [ him ].

[ his ] urges were disgusting.

i bed [ him ] down to nothing.

that little [ lady ] wanted love.

it's such a damn shame.

you better run, babe.

[ she's ] taking aim.

[ she ] promised me [ her ] best.

i could see forever in [ her ] golden eyes.

my baby told me lies.

i swear i'm gonna die.

but i ain't the one biting the dust tonight.

i swear i'm gonna miss [ her ] for the rest of my days.

i still hear [ her ] voice.

BET YOU'LL GET OFF ON THIS

maybe in another year you might be different.

i'd rather not admit how many years i've been insisting.

you showed me your true colors.

you used to be the prettiest thing i'd ever seen.

what you said to me last sunday was disgusting.

i don't need to look at you to know you feel nothing.

you feel nothing.

maybe you like it better when i'm cool.

i don't give a shit.

did you really have to be so cruel?

all i ever did was try to love you.

i don't know who you are.

i saw the façade slip, and it was alarming.

i'm left with confusion.

how did you not ever learn to be human?

what did i expect?

you never grew up.

you think you're so deep, but you're so out of touch.

[ Natalie ] was right when [ she ] said that you were heartless.

i don't ever want you to touch me again.

i really can't stand the way you talk about your [ girlfriend ].

bet it hurts to know i'm no longer your forever.

i won't hold my breath, but i hope you get better.

i don't wanna belittle my love.

all we ever did was try to love you.

#rp meme #rp prompts #roleplay meme #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #cheating tw #toxic tw #suggestive #queue

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checkoutmybookshelf · 7 months ago

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Brigerton Round-Up

Ok, so I have read all of the Bridgerton books I care to at this point, but my reviews are spread across this blog and possibly like a year of time??? So I thought it would be fun to bring them all together in a single post!

All of these reviews were written between S2 and S3 of Netflix's Bridgerton Series, so bear that in mind when you're wondering why I haven't talked about all the seasons!

Content warning for some misogyny and discussion of sexual assault.

Also...THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE.

The Viscount Who Loved Me

There comes a point where a girl can't deny she has engaged in a fandom. It probably is well before you start writing fic (you can find The Polin Fic on Ao3), but y'know, here we are. Let's talk Bridgerton.

Ok, couple things right off the top.

We are not dealing with either The Duke and I or S1 of Bridgerton on Netflix. We are not dealing with *THAT* scene and it's complete disregard for consent. Find that somewhere else on the internet, it's a big place.

We are literally only talking about The Viscount Who Loved Me and Romancing Mr. Bridgerton. They're the only books I've read, and at this point they're the only books in this series I care to read. That means we'll also chat about S2 of Netflix's Bridgerton.

Ok, with the ground rules established, let's jump on in!

I think the reasonable place to start here is with Kate. I watched Bridgerton the Netflix series before reading The Viscount Who Loved Me, and Kates Sheffield and Sharma are objectively not the same woman. They wouldn't even LIKE each other. Kate Sharma is self-assured, confident, driven, and quite frankly, a force of nature when she wants to be. Kate Sharma understands that not only is she a grown ass woman but also that if she does not get in gear and go for her goals, they ain't happening. You guys, I freaking love Kate Sharma.

By contrast, Kate Sheffield is a blond, blue-eyed, infantilized debutante with some serious unresolved PTSD. I was not at all sorry to see that Shondaland did away with THAT library scene and THAT bee sting scene. I think that the show did both of them way better, and I will never be mad when an adaptation takes an adult female character and lets her ACT like an adult. I also appreciated the shift from creepy Anthony trying to *checks notes* suck the venom out of the bee sting to a full-blown panic attack. It subverted a highly gendered trope and put both Kate and Anthony on a much more even and human footing. It was also--and I cannot stress this enough--so much LESS CREEPY than the book scene. Anthony describing what he was doing in detail while the reader is told but not shown that he's panicky left several different flavors of bad taste in my mouth. Kate Sharma showing actual dimensionality in her strength in the show in this scene as Anthony goes fully nonverbal is objectively a stronger scene that does far more to develop the characters.

Generally speaking, Anthony Bridgerton is Anthony Bridgerton in both the show and the book, with maybe some of the high-and-mighty, self-righteous edges sanded off for the show. He's a regency era Viscount, there's not a whole lot you can do with him in adaptation. Show Anthony is my preference because he has some of the high-handedness sanded off, and because Jonathan Bailey is extremely nice to look at. I don't even hate the S1 (*gasp* she mentioned Bruno!) sideburns and hair, they had a very 1995 Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy vibe that I was willing to lean into. I honestly don't have a whole lot else to say about Anthony, so let's move on and hope that maybe we get an S3 release date before I get to the end of this post. (Spoiler Alert: We did not)

An Offer From a Gentleman

Dearest Gentle Reader, I suppose if you play with fire, you do eventually get burned. This Author has finally been burned by a Bridgerton novel. --Lady Bookshelf's Society Papers, 7 June 2023

So uhh...yeah. We gotta talk about Benedict Bridgerton. And we gotta talk about what the actual hell happened between book and Netflix series, because I found the series before the book, and even knowing that the characterizations were different, this book was JARRINGLY different, and not gonna lie, I absolutely cannot stand book Benedict and I fully do not understand the Benophie appeal. Now that I've finished painting a target on my back, let's talk An Offer from a Gentleman.

Ok y'all, I have recipts for this one, because book Benedict was basically a "too aloof and edgelordy to give a damn" and he really, REALLY needed to stop telling Sophie she was stupid or thinking too much. He also was hideously high-handed about blackmailing, coercing, and passive aggressively manipulating Sophie into doing the closest possible thing he can make happen to what he wants. He can't hear the word "no." His art seems somehow less important to him than the bowl of rocks at the cottage.

Show Benedict is a sweetheart artist with a wicked sense of humor and a real damn good sense for his siblings' moods and needs. I like show Benedict. I was prepared to yeet book Benedict off a cliff.

So real quick before this descends into incoherent screeching, I just need to point out the section where Sophie leaves the Cavendar's house during a party that is SUPER not safe for her. The "male lead saves the female lead from getting raped" is not my favorite trope in the world, but I'm not here to shame anyone for rescue fantasies. What I am here to do is explainin why Benedict is the WORST POSSIBLE EXAMPLE of this trope. I'm just gonna go ahead and put the passage up here, for ease. This is Benedict's reaction to seeing Sophie is an objectively scary situation:

Cavender was standing under a stately old elm with two other gentlemen. They appeared to be having a bit of fun with a housemaid, pushing her back and forth between them. Benedict Groaned. He was too far away to determine whether the housemaid was enjoying their attentions, and if she was not, then he was going to have to save her, which was not how he'd planned to spend his evening. He'd never been particularly enamored of playing the hero, but he had far too many younger sisters--four, to be precise--to ignore any female in distress.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS REACTION??? What is this "ugh, I guess I HAVE to step in, what a pain in the ass FOR ME" nonsense??? This is not allyship, this isn't even--as Benedict tepidly says--"having sisters," this is just "ugh, I guess I have to be a hero, how annoying."

If you're going to do the rescue trope, it kind of works better if your leading man gives a rat's ass. Like, give him a strong position on rape being bad. Give him a motivation. Give him something other than an eye roll and vague irritation that he has to do the thing! He's not even particularly T-ed off with the guys in this situation, it's just...and event. That he has to deal with. Like going to the DMV or something.

Can we PLEASE not do this. This is gross, it is bare minimum, and frankly? It's the least interesting version of this trope. I wasn't a Twilight girl, but the scene where Edward rescues Bella from implied gang rape was done better than this moist tissue of a scene purely because HE GIVES A RAT'S ASS ABOUT BELLA.

Bare freaking minimum, your romantic leads have to have strong feelings for each other. Those feelings can be positive or negative, depending on whether or not you're doing enemies to lovers, but the feelings have to EXIST. And when you're dealing with limited third omninscient narration, the character in who's head you are should probably have stronger emotions than *eye roll* to keep it interesting for the reader!! We know Sophie is already in love with Benedict at this point in the novel, but we aren't in Sophie's HEAD just now.

I'm basically out of coherent things to say about this book, so let's just go over key examples of other things in this book that made me rage. It's not every instance, but it's a selection of demonstrative examples.

Let's check the receipts:

She shot him an arch look. "Horse races are almost always silly." "Spoken just like a woman," he muttered.

And just WHAT is wrong with speaking like a woman, Benedict??? Is it maybe because you think they're somehow LESSER than men???

"Sophie," he said, "I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears. Stop taxing your brain with useless mathematical computations and do as I asked."

TAXING HER BRAIN, BENEDICT??? Let the woman think for her own damn self for five seconds!

"His chin jutted out belligerently. "You're not supposed to be thinking. That's the point of of it."

LET. HER. THINK. FOR. HER. OWN. DAMN. SELF.

"You bloody fool," he swore. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is in the world for a woman alone?" "Er, yes," she managed. "Actually I do. If he heard her, he gave no indication, just went on about "men who take advantage" and "helpless women" and "fates worse than death." [...] About halfway through his tirade, she lost all ability to focus on his words. She just kept watching his mouth and hearing the tone of his voice, all the while trying to comprehend the fact that he seemed remarkably concerned for her welfare... "Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?" Benedict demanded.

YOU SPENT THE WHOLE BOOK TELLING HER NOT TO THINK AND NOW YOU'RE MANSPLAINING CLASS TO HER??? SERIOUSLY???

"Don't you ever call me stupid," she hissed. " Benedict blinked, trying to get his eyesight back to the point where he only saw one of her. "I wasn't--" "Yes you were," she replied in a low, angry voice."

Oh, yes, call her stupid. That's a GREAT way to get in any woman's skirts, Benedict. (Please excuse me while I scream incoherently into a pillow in rage.) Punch him again, Sophie.

"I didn't save you from Cavender just to let you squander your life away." "That isn't your choice to make." She had a point there, but he wasn't inclined to give it to her. "Perhaps," he allowed, "but I'm going to make it, anyway."

Wow, so you do ONE DECENT THING and suddenly you own her life??? PUNCH HIM AGAIN, SOPHIE. And no, gentlemen, going "oh shit, I am actually being a huge dick here" and then DOING THE THING ANYWAY does not earn you any points.

"I didn't want--" "You don't know what you want," he cut in. It was a cruel statement, condescending in the extreme, but he was beyond caring. She'd wounded him in a way he hadn't even known was possible, with a power he'd never dreamed she possessed.

ACTUALLY SHE DOES KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, BENEDICT, BECAUSE SHE IS A HUMAN PERSON WITH AGENCY!!!!!! AND SHE HAS SAID NO TO YOU LIKE FIFTEEN TIMES!!! Dear god, someone throw this man back in the lake and hold his head under.

"I didn't think," she whispered, more to herself than to him. "I know." He smiled. "I know. I hate it when you think. It always ends badly for me."

FOR FUCKS SAKE-- *screams in impotent rage while channeling Beatrice's "would eat his heart in the marketplace" vibes*

So...I actually don't recommend this book. Don't read this one. Just enjoy show Benedict and we can all collectively pretend that the book didn't happen.

Romancing Mr. Bridgerton

I actually thoroughly enjoyed the fluffy confection that is Romancing Mr. Bridgerton, which makes it much harder to talk about than The Viscount Who Loved Me. I suppose the biggest difference between the book and what the show is setting up for Polin is in the stakes. The book stakes are arguably extremely low; the consequences for being Lady Whistledown in the book are essentially a round of polite applause and some deep-seated rage that Cressida freaking Cowper would dare to take credit for Penelope's work. And frankly, I was 100% with Penelope on that one. The show cannot possibly roll with that ending (or if they do, they're going to disappoint everyone) because Penelope has pissed off a reigning monarch, and that has, historically, gone poorly. So I think the show is setting up to give Colin real, concrete reasons to be pissed as hell when it comes out that Penelope is Whistledown, and to actually make the pair work for their romance. And for all I enjoyed the fluff in the book, I am a sucker for multiple layers of increasingly high stakes and I hope the show really goes ham on the payoff for this setup. Frankly, I want Colin to be absolutely furious with Penelope and still ready to sneak her out of England if the Queen decides that Lady Whistledown is too dangerous to leave at liberty.

In terms of how Colin himself changes in the show, I'm fairly cool with the "I am a bottomless pit where is the food" aspect of Colin's character being quietly left behind. I think we can do more interesting things with our male characters than that. However, like many of the people who have both read the book and kept up with the show, I am WORRIED about how much Colin's writing has been downplayed. Yes, he and Penelope have a correspondence, and clearly they mean a lot to each other, but writing letters does not necissarily set up Colin's journals and the writing relationship that the two develop in the book. It's so, so wildly uncommon for game to recognize game and form a partnership of equals in skill in regency romance novels, and that was one of the things I loved about Romancing Mr. Bridgerton. I also loved that Colin, not Penelope, was the less experienced newbie of the writing partnership.

Not that the book didn't complicate this issue, because Julia Quinn didn't hesitate for a millisecond to slot Penelope into the historical role of "uncredited, unpaid, and historically unknown editor and 80% of the reason that history remembers the husband who's name is on the cover of the book." And that SUCKS for Penelope.

That takes me really smoothly into the thing that I love most about what Nicola Coughlan brings to Penelope in the show. She has an edge, a little more willingness to take risks, and that really makes me believe that the Penelope of the show could be behind the edgier, sharper, WAY riskier Whistledown. I am excited to see what they do with Polin in S3!

When He Was Wicked

Ok, as a Bridgerton book, When He Was Wicked was UNUSUAL. Given how tightly knit and very much there for each other the Bridgertons are (although I admit, this might be show bias affecting my reading), the fact that Francesca was, for the most part, isolated up in Scotland and very separate from the rest of the family was odd. It really allowed us to see what a Bridgerton-raised person would do when their back was to the wall and they were more or less alone.

Add to that the fact that most of this book is Francesca's second season and second love and that she gets to have actual EXPERIENCE and CONFIDENCE and not be your bog standard romance ingenue meant that this was a refreshing change of pace. I also would be absolutely remiss to point out that this novel went unapologetic on the fact that Francesca knows a little something about sex and her own body and that she has zero doubt that her needs, wants, and pleasure are important and that she can (and does) ask for what she wants with Michael. That's something that contemporary 2023 still really struggles with, so props to Julia Quinn for making it clear that Francesca can, should and DOES have a voice that matters during sex.

I also want to say that while Francesca wanting to be a mother so badly that she goes for a second season often gets side-eyed or openly pooh-poohed for being anti-feminist, breeding kinky, or somehow lesser, I would say that while the "All I want in the world is to be a mother" is complicated by the regency setting and the gender roles and expectations imposed on women whether they wanted them or not, Francesca is a widow for most of this novel, and widows historically had more (not complete, this isn't perfect) choice about their remarriage, and had Francesca not wanted to, she didn't have to remarry. So I'm willing to give this book the benefit of the doubt that Francesca actually DOES want to be a mother, actually DOES want children, and making the choice to remarry to have kids is an active, intentional choice on her part. Motherhood isn't for everyone, and that's 100% fine. But we shouldn't shame people who do want it, and I think a generous read of this book puts Francesca in that camp without some of the weird vibes and setting complications that you get with Daphne.

Again, none of this is wholly unproblematic, and there are arguments to be made that social conditioning overrode any choice Francesca could make. However, that's a deeply cynical read of a fun, fluffy romance novel, and I'm not here to shame people who can get pregnant for their reproductive choices, whatever those may be.

Michael is, in the grand tradition of non-Bridgerton love interests, fairly bland. His whole thing is being the merry rake, which, like, whatever. That's fine. I'm not like, terribly enamored of his full-on BAILING on Francesca for like three years after her first husband unceremoniously drops dead. I'm also not super enamored of his whole "did I secretly cause my cousin's death because I was coveting his wife and now I can never be with Francesca because I don't deserve her for killing my cousin" schtick, but this is Bridgerton so the absurd drama is pretty par for the course.

The reason to read this book really is Francesca, and Francesca finding her feet as a more mature heroine than we typically see in these books. I was very very much here for Francesca, and I hope that if the show gets this far, we really do get to see how Frannie is different from Daphne, Eloise, Penelope, and Hyacinth.

It's In His Kiss

This is now the fifth Bridgerton book I've read, and I actually have to say that while it's not my favorite of the series, it was a nice change of pace. Hyacinth and Gareth feel like they spend more time together as a couple really getting to know one another, which honestly was not really the vibe of previous couples. Anthony was too wrapped up in waiting to die, Benedict was too busy being shitty Prince Eric and generally devaluing all women everywhere, and Francesca and Colin were working through dead spouse trauma and a variation on professional jealousy, respectively. Hyacinth and Gareth just like each other, and Gareth was refreshingly brief in his daddy issues in favor of seducing Hyacinth and realizing that whoops, he actually meant it. So frankly, Gareth and Hyacinth feel more like they are actually good friends. And as a Polin Stan, that is a little heartbreaking to say, since Polin was supposed to be the friends to lovers storyline and as far as the books go, I actually think Hyacinth and Gareth feel more friends to lovers. Polin is more she fell first, he fell harder, which is a great trope but it's not really friends to lovers.

I swear I'm not going to be low-key disappointed about Polin for this whole post though, because in addition to Hyacinth being genuinely good friends with Gareth, we get her friendship with Lady Danbury. And THAT friendship is an absolute delight, although Jukia Quinn might be flying just a TAD close to the sun by spoofing bad romance books that we read to mock in her series of borderline read-to-mock romance books. This is very akin to my feelings about Penelope getting weak-kneed over Colin's writing talent because he described the temperature of the Agean Sea as half-hour old bathwater. Like, I get what you were going for emotionally, but on a very realistic level, you fell flat on your face and your skirt rode all the way up so you flashed your panties at people by accident, and not in a kinky way. Not that that makes Hyacinth and Lady D's dynamics any less wonderful, it's just one of those "my eyebrows were raised while I was smiling" things. We cannot help but love Lady Danbury.

I also just want to call out the objectively hilarious scene where Gareth goes to ask Anthony for permission to marry Hyacinth and Anthony completely blows the tone with his combination "YES ALL MY SISTERS ARE MARRIED OFF I AM KING" and "hurt her and I won't kill you, I will make your long life a living hell" reactions. I enjoyed this Anthony.

Now, having noted what I enjoyed about this book, it wouldn't be a Bridgerton novel if there weren't also a couple of things that I feel the need to call out as WILDLY WTAF. We're gonna go ahead and start with the prologue, because we need to take a minute and ask ourselves why the actual hell the girl Lord St. Clair was trying to force Gareth to marry had to have a mental disability, and why the hell we needed Lord St. Clair's "kick the dog" moment to be telling his son to rape a vulnerable woman. And that's before we even get into the issues with the rampant asexual objectification and infantilization of disabled people, and how that plays into wildly ableist tropes throughout literature. And the worst part is, this adds literally nothing to the story. We do not even see this character on the page, she is just briefly mentioned twice in the novel and is literally not even an obstacle. This didn't have to be casually thrown in and frankly I saw ten different shades of red when I was reading it. Honestly, it's one of hose thoughtlessly, pointlessly ableist things that causes real harm in the world and I am not here for it.

The other WTAF thing about this book is the fact that Gareth plans to "ruin" Hyacinth. I'm not gonna go do ar as to say there are consent issues here, because to say that would be to wildly and willfully misrepresent their relationship and I'm not going to do that. But I'm not wild about the perpetuation of the idea of virginity as some magical thing that can be taken from a woman and tbat devalues her. And yes, I know, it's it's regency romance. But I can understand scenes-a-faire and still not like it. Which I do not, because it says more about the level to which Gareth initially values Hyacinth than anything else, and you shouldn't have to devalue your SO to feel worthy of them. That is some toxic bullshit, do not do it.

Overall, though, this book was pretty cute and it was heisty, and I am a bit of a sucker for a good heist. Insofar as I recommend any Bridgerton novel, this one was pretty fun.

On The Way To The Wedding

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a hot romantic regency male lead must be in want of a more intelligent heroine. But even given that, Gregory flippin' Bridgerton strains credibility about how obtuse he is throughout this book. Anthony might have been lying to himself and deeply traumatized, Benedict might have been a chauvinist dickhead, and Colin might have been a golden retriever, but none of them were so vacuously vague as Gregory managed to be. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy this book; there were chunks of it I found thoroughly amusing. So let's talk On the Way to the Wedding.

I guess we might as well start with Gregory, because holy cow there was no critical thought in this man's head. He literally did not hear a thing Lucy said to him the night before her wedding to Haselby, because AS COLIN POINTED OUT while he and Gregory were *checks notes* SITTING IN A TREE SPYING ON LUCY'S HOUSE, she did not actually ever at any point say that she wasn't going to marry Haselby, she just made bland statements and let Gregory hear what he wanted to. Like, Greg. Sweetie, honey, friend, she did not explicitly say she was calling off the wedding, and you KNOW she would have if she really intended to. You were thinking with the wrong head, my dude, and frankly it's on your own dang head for being so shocked the next morning.

But on top of having cloth ears when it comes to hearing "no," Gregory managed to talk himself into being in love with Hermione and out of being in live with Lucy. And this is AFTER separate sit downs with Anthony, Kate, and Violet that collectively tell the reader (and should have told Gregory, except he has cotton wool instead of a brain inside his skull) that Gregory has exactly zero connection with reality, no drive or ambition, and has had so much handed to him in life that he won't extend effort to get something that isn't handed to him. Quite literally, my reaction was, "Aww, Lucy gets the second-worst brother. She and Sophie should get together and start a support group." So Gregory and Benedict are super not my favorite Bridgerton Brothers.

One thing about Gregory that was well set up and paid off and used fairly humorously throughout though, is his complete inability to hit anything he aims at with a firearm. I was impressed that he was not toxically masculine about that, and the fact that he nonfatally shot Uncle Richard at the end was well executed, and Lucy telling her Uncle that he is lucky Gregory can't aim for shit actually got a laugh from me. It was very good. AND it established that all four Bridgerton girls can shoot as well, so at some point I want a pall mall game settled via target shooting. My bet is that Eloise thinks she's the best shot, Francesca actually is, Hyacinth does trick shots just to piss off Eloise, and Daphne is scarily efficient as a markswoman.

However, what really kept this book interesting were Lucy and the CW drama-esque plot, because I did not see "oopsie poopsie, did a treason, and now my neice has to marry my blackmailer's gay son" coming in the Bridgertonverse, but here we are, I guess.

Lucy falls into line with Penelope and Sophie in terms of women who are head and shoulders more competent than the Bridgerton man they married, although admittedly Lucy has less personality than either Penelope or Sophie. Lucy is a people manager and pleaser, and she is extremely organized. She also has some excellent one-liners and is more than smart enough to wrap Gregory around her little finger when she needs to.

Unfortunately, she couldn't talk Gregory's stubborn streak out of tying her to a water closet (seriously, what is this, a regency Criminal Minds episode???), which is how we get the big reveal that it's her Uncle, not her father, who committed treason. It's also how we somehow end up with Uncle Richard holding a gun to Sophie in a random bedroom before her marriage to Haselby was consummated, which... Richard. Honey. What was the plan here??? You needed that girl legally and permanently married before Davenport gave up the blackmail. Why are you holding a gun on her right now??? What the hell was the way out of this room of you hadn't been interrupted by the husband squad and their two guns? Weird time for a power trip, is all I can say. You might as well have gotten caught monologuing for all the sense this scene setup made.

And Gregory once again proves that he is a COMPLETE IMBECILE because if you spend an entire book announcing repeatedly that you can't hit the broad side of a barn, why on God's little green earth do you take the shot at a man holding a gun to your love's head? You're as likely to hit her as him! He got lucky because plot armor, but he wasn't the only man in the room with a gun, Lucy's very angry brother ALSO had one, and he was almost certainly a better shot than Gregory. Nobody is exercising critical thought in this scene, is all I'm saying.

Now, for all my criticisms, if you suspend your disbelief, this whole scene is VERY fun, and in principle I quite enjoyed it. Sometimes you have to meet a book where it's at, and in this case it was at CW-esque dramatic farce. So this book was very fun for what it was.

OOH and before I wrap.up and forget: Hyacinth gets to be totally furious in this book, and holy cow I wish we got Hyacinth in a decade st some point, because she would have been show Lady Danbury's equal but more spitfire, and I love that so much for all of us.

This is definitely the last Bridgerton book I'm reading because I have no desire to deal with Daphne or Eloise's books. That said though, the books I have read I was largely either pleasantly surprised by or thoroughly entertained, and really you can't ask more of these books than that. Book Benedict still sucks though.

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kerubimcrepin · 9 months ago

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Liveblog - Dofus, livre 1 : Julith [PART 10]

These sweets are so appetizing...

Due to the way this stall looks, I am assuming that these are types of candy that ouginaks and ecaflips love, and not literal animal food. Tragic.

Things Joris wants forgiveness for: leaving a bestie with cops (after she asked him to leave), disobeying his father after he folded on their plans for 99th time, telling his father that he's CRINGE and FAIL using his real cringe fail moments, and running away while having a mental breakdown.

Danmn he's so evil and bad for this fr fr......

Anyway, I think Joris's love language is gift giving and acts of service, and Kerubim's is words of affirmation and gift giving.

(This is wild ass headcanon territory because Atcham is a rarer character, but: Atcham's are acts of service and quality time. Source? It came to me in a vision.)

The street signs in this movie are killing me.

The Dofus Pets 2 ad says Dofus Pets 2.

Cute ad! It looks familiar though...

There ain't no way that these two pieces of art don't use some of the same reused assets...., I refuse to believe in that reality.

Joris is dissociating and Khan is trying to get his dick wet. Their friendship is so special.

By the way, the fact that they cut the "Khan makes/lets Joris do underage drinking, with many horny Khan-loving women present" scene still haunts me. Why? Why must have they forsaken me this way...

I still believe Khan bought Joris alcohol on regular until the guy was finally 18. I want to live in a world where Khan helped suicidally depressed 14yo Joris have a "coffee with cognac in the morning, chicken with cognac in the evening" lifestyle, and it's like one of the reasons Joris is still alive or something.

My other thought on the topic is that Atcham (imagine him being physically 4yo in this scenario), taught Joris how to smoke cigars. And then he had the shit beaten out of him by Kerubim (also 4 years old).

This is like his 60th divorce.

And he's never even been married.

Man.

The reaction to the door opening is IMMEDIATE.

THE PLATONIC DIVORCE #61 HAS BEEN CALLED OFF. But genuinely, it's so cute seeing how happy he is...

Joris thinking these things about him is his worst nightmare. AND the little guy is in danger. So, chances are, for a few hours he spent time thinking about how bad of a father he is, and how it's his fault that Joris is god-knows-where and in danger and also HATES him and will NEVER forgive him.

AND the disciplinary action he takes is just so chill and cute... (cough-cough, my own thoughts on whether Joris was based for this aren't relevant, because 1. he ran off god knows where and children shouldn't do that, and 2. even though his grievances are valid, he did bring them up as hurtfully as possibly, with some really fucked and irrelevant things too, just to make Keke feel pain at that moment. Which is not something one should get in the habit of.)

Your agonized twitching and worried faces have both bewitched me heart and soul.

He's literally still infant/toddler sized... So small, compared to Lilotte...

Sometimes, we say horrible things, when we're angry. They love each other so much... They're both willing to look past all the imperfections.... (throws up on the carpet like a cat)

No commentary, I just like seeing him afraid.

She and Kerubim have beef, as has been mentioned in many past posts.

Bakara does her fighting with the same icy, emotionless expression, that she had during her conversation with Kerubim at the bar. This is her "I am going to kill everyone in this building" resting face for when Julith is mentioned.

Kerubim is SHOCKED by how fast she leaped into combat. Also, I want to think, disappointed. This is too dangerous of an enemy to spring into action like that, simply out of rage, while having literally no combat experience...

Because like, Kerubim and Julith are veterans of a war/multuiple wars.

While Bakara is a 20~yo, freshly graduated, alcoholic nepo-baby.

Let it be known I don't like Julith. She is a fun character to watch, but... I feel like the fandom treats her as someone who's done no wrong, despite all the evidence we are given to believe that she is a horrible person.

She was framed, and she did love Jahash, but that doesn't take away from anything else. She beat the shit out of Bakara here, even though she could have restrained her much more gently, — she dug into Bakara's insecurities and called her a poor little fool too.

I really doubt Jahash would have liked that. (Same for her plans of killing a thousand people though, so, I really doubt she gives a shit about his wishes at this point.)

She does THIS SHIT. Jesus christ! Maybe, just maybe, she would know of your feelings, because she loves him just as much? Maybe that's why she wants to kill you as much as you want to kill everyone in Bonta? Have you thought about that, you hot topic customer-looking edgelord?

Besides her hypocrisy, she was known for her ruthlessness, even before the war. There's a reason they still call her a butcher. Which is why I kinda dislike how often this stuff is swept under the rug by fans making cute content.

...I do support women's rights, but I also support women's wrongs, and Julith has a lot of those. She's tragic, but also evil.

Unlike someone like Nox, she makes no effort to empathize or connect with people who oppose her, and knows no mercy. At the very least, Nox had a twisted sense of morals, and could whip out an epic "you're just like me fr...." during a battle.

#ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #dofusmovie

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anarchic-miscellany · 9 months ago

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Reading "One Piece" for the first time: Part 7 This is more like it, maybe I'm just getting old, but I like that there is more character interplay, interactions and bouncing off of each other, true conflict, not quite merely a rubber idiot roudhouse kicking a nuke into the King of Ferrets or whatever the fuck the author has this week. The Idiot, The Himbo, Meme in Progress and now The Giga Chad and the Brothers Chucklefuck are in a tiny boat looking for the Cartographer with a Brain Cell, who jacked their ship and buggered off whilst they were recruiting the Giga Chad and battling a man made of guns. Now they've arrived at basically Hawaii, which appears to be Nami's village. It's pretty enough, and being ruled over by a hench fishman and his fish man army who are extorting the place, oh and his nose gives Usopp's a run for its money. Knowing this series they'll probably actually do that... Anyway, she's betrayed them all only not really only she has only nobody in the crew seems to believe her. It's endearing, yes, that they all believe that this girl they've known for about 8 minutes would never betray them, but also: guys. Come on. Giga Chad I get: he's horny. But the rest of you? Arlong is the villain here, and I dig him, he's one of the better ones so far. I am surprised at the restraint, again, in having fish people appear but it does raise questions about genetics and the like: do they reproduce with eggs? Is it asexual? Are there fish women somewhere? Oh God.

DO NOT SHOW ME BUSTY FISH WOMEN! THIS SERIES IS HORNY ENOUGH! PLEASE GOD NO! So, they see the palace run by King Scalestorm, and Zoro's first thought is: "I mean, we can take them." Naturally the brothers chucklefuck (Johnny and, the other one) tie him to the mast. Alright, that's a funny joke, series, touche. I appreciate the sense of humour this manga has, but when it swings for the fences emotionally thus far it does seem out of place. Is the cham in the series that it goes to 11 when there are emotions involved? That is the vibe I'm getting.

Meme in Progress Usopp continues to endear himself as my joint favourite guy, by simply strolling into the village and figuring everything out: apparently the houses were all just flipped over and cast aside like they'e kids with fucking Tonka Toys throwing a tantrum. Correctly, he deduces: "Nah mate, I ain't going NEAR that." See Usopp, you and me can hang. Like, you're a person, with identifiable normal feelings, you're a justifiably ordinary guy in this universe of mavericks and people who punch God in the face on their way to buy bread and splitting the Earth open with a wave of their hand. He meets a grouchy seeming lady, and a boy she's yelling at for trying to get himself killed in the path of revenge against Arlong, and he's an endearing little scamp by standing up for the kid. Good Guy Usopp. I like you, you're one of the few characters here I'd actually just hang out with like a normal person. Arlong has corrupt cops (sorry, cops) under his payroll and basically does what he pleases. A good villain here, he's what a pirate is: and I like the whole eugenicist bully angle. What's the bet that that never comes back as the author gets bored and moves onto, oh I don't know, fucking cockroach tanks piloted by cyborgs or something. Nami is attempting to get a shed load of money to buy her village out from under his thrall. Conflict! Nice! It's a cool thing where Zoro just attempts to kill himself to test if Nami is actually evil enough to let him die, and true to form she dives in to save him, though more likely was the fact that she was attempting to stop him from murdering the water. The insanity is kept relatively tame here, which is my kind of jam: I HATE people who recommend stuf with "oh it's mental, you'll love it!" Like, no, I need contrast to the insanity, it needs to build, it needs to balance, it needs to let release tension and steam. It needs plotting and pacing and character and growth. It's why I'm never playing that fucking piece of shit "Exalted", stop recommending it to me, Tobin and Sam, fuck! Anyway. The Idiot is, thankfully, out of the way for most of this, chilling on his boat and napping, but unfortunately he has Giga Chad with him, so we have less Giga Chad this chapter. But that is fine, as we get more of the nonsense of the crew and a villain I actually like. My friend who got me into this, however, also raises a good point: if there are fish men, what is sea food? Are they eating the young of the fish people? Because I am team Arlong if that is the case. It's nice to have this character development, and some stuff for Cartographer with a Brain Cell to do, even if none of them buy her "betrayal" for an instant - but that fake stabbing of Meme in Progress was pretty cool, good job guys! And it ties into this desperation and world building in the village - people left at the mercy of criminal gangs because cops won't help, as 1. They are cops. 2. There are dudes who can tear apart the skies with a yodel, or whatever fucking bullshit super power the author has pulled out of his ass this week Good job, world and character and stuff. So anyway. The Himbo takes out a palace of dudes all by himself, and the Giga Chad kicks the ocean so hard that his boat fucking flies. THERE we go. I was starting to think you'd lost your touch, old boy. So now Johnny and the other one have legged it, and the Idiot is napping rather than fighting. I for one appreciate it, it has been a tad dull with him doing stuff. Also I think Sanji wants to fuck a mermaid, and Nami. And Nami AS a mermaid. Follow your dreams, bro. They are going to square off with fish mafia man, and try to save this village. So knowing these guys that means they will befriend the fish man and destroy the place.

#One Piece #Reading One Piece for the First Time #monkey d. luffy #Nami #roronoa zoro #sanji #Himbo #Idiot #Meme in Progress #Giga Chad #Cartographer with a Brain Cell #Fish Man #Arlong #Manga

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danmeiconfession · 11 months ago

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I'm torn between not caring about Ning Yingying and Qiu Haitang and hating them tenfold. Why did the rumor persists? When I watched the donghua, I found Ning Yingying so freaking annoying. Although in the latter part of the novel, there were improvments. The PIDW Ning Yingying, did she never defend her Shizun from the lecherous rumors that still persist or no one believed her because she's a dumb kid in their eyes? She really backstabbed him the one person he favored and she let everything be destroyed for Binghe what justification is there except she was a stupid? Did she not care for people and her her Shizun lol like she's worse than the scum villain himself at least he's got integrity. i'm sorry to say but deing a dumbfuck or naive ain't an excuse just cause she's a girl.

And Qiu Haitang, is she another stupid girl who can't she her supposed "love" is being abused. There may not be scars visible but being so thin or signs will be obvious. Or ask herself why a slave would do such a thing after many years you think with age comes wisdom she didn't have that

Maybe I just really hate their rose-tinted eyes, privilege and stupidness.

And Yue Qingyuan, how did you become a Sect Master when you can't even talk and explain things to your Shidi? I get he has trauma but I look at Shen jiu right and even though he also had trauma he goes above to save him and to do everything even with that trauma and you're telling me a few words can't qualify. He can't fucking defend his own shidi or believe him.

He never belives him does he ? Someone could replace his Xiao Jiu and he'll won't notice oh wait that already happened... Imagine someone you knew for years you won't know some signs or investigate further beside that one time I know Shen Yuan didn't do such a great job they checked him for possession I think ? But seriously... If it was the other around knowing Shen jiu he'd do his best to bring him back because he loyal as hell. That how I know how unfair this is because Shen jiu is such an all for nothing guy and he wastes it on him is such a shame because what benefit has this man brought except pain.

I genuinely feel bad for Shen jiu because the bar for people is low just being even a smidge kind to him and he'll do anything for you is sad as hell because the world he lives in is complete dogshit. Yue Qingyuan is such a low bar to i'm sorry but he is to even have if you want a dependable and reliable figure that there for you when they just mess more shit up more. He ain't Lan Zhan that for sure . My god, Liu Qinghe the type if you want a loyal man he fought Luo Binghe for 5 years for his SVSS corpse such dedication in such a short time too and they hated each other. If Shen jiu heard me talking shit about his Qi-ge that's fine lol because it true he ain't much.

Everything is a mess. I feel like they just messed up Shen Jiu's life. What value had they brought in my man's life if not pain.

#svsss #scumbag self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #scum villian self saving system

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claire-elvisgirl · 1 year ago

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ALMOST ALWAYS TRUE - pt. 1

2-part story inspired by an ai chat. Rough and possessive Elvis.

Summary: You argue with Elvis because you want to go on tour with him. He puts you back in your place.

Warnings: 18+, anger, angst, involuntary cheating, arguing, jealousy, possession.

Word count: 1433

You’ve been one of his closest friends for three years, then Elvis finally asked you to be his girlfriend. You accepted with all the joy your heart could feel, dreaming a wonderful life with him. But things turned out to be a little different: you were together and you loved each other very much, but you had a big problem with your tempers. Both of you had the flaw to lose patience in a few seconds and that was a thing that no one of you could stand. One evening you were fixing his stuff, since the following day he would have left for another tour. You heard the door opening and you heard his voice: “Y/n!? Y/n where are ya?”

“I'm in bedroom honey.”

“Mmm, interesting place…" he replied standing on the door and looking at you.

“Veeery funny! I'm getting your things ready for tomorrow!” you said, folding one of his shirts.

“Oh, sweetheart. You're always thinking about me, aren'tcha?” he entered the room and hugged you from back, tracing many little kisses on your neck.

You giggled and tried to remain calm: "Well, it's part of my job!”

He kept on kissing your neck, softly caressing your shoulders. “And what a wonderful job you do!” Suddenly he stopped and went to the window, looking outside.

“Y'know, I've been thinkin'…I've been missin' ya somethin' awful. I've been on the road for what feels like forever now! So I was thinking...” he came back to you “Maybe I should bring ya with me this time!”

You stopped and looked at him. He never wanted you on tour with him before, so his request caught you by surprise.

“Are you serious? You never wanted me around...” you asked, keeping on settle his things.

He smiled as he grabs your hands: “Sure, why not? Look, I know sometimes we had our ups and downs, but you know what they say: distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

You looked down and think. Then you walked up to him and looked him straight in the eyes.

“I'll come on one condition: that you stop being so jealous and possessive!”

He rolled his eyes up, annoyed: “Oh God, not this shit again!!! Listen y/n, ya know I gotta watch out for ya. And don't act like ya don't know what I'm talkin' about! And on second thought, maybe it’s better for you to stay here!” He sat on the bed, trying to stay calm.

You threw him his shirt angrily: “I knew it! You always leave me here alone! Just for once, why can't you take me with you?”

“For what? So you can flirt and giggle like a slut with the guys whenever I’m not around?!”

You couldn't believe your ears. He never talked you that way before. You got more nervous: “How dare you...??? You always leave me with your friends while you're on stage and now you're trying to blame me if they step out of line!?” you asked pointing your finger at him.

He was getting nervous too: “Hey now, wait a minute! I let ya stay with the guys, cause I'd never think they would, you know...bother you or anything! They know pretty well they have to stay away from my property!”

You looked back at him sadly. “I know why you don't want me around...it’s not for me. It’s for you, so you can be free to do what you want! Is that right??”

He came closer and tried to hug you. “But, sweetheart, ya don't need to worry 'bout that, ya hear? I ain't never gonna give my heart to anyone else but you!”. Elvis started to kiss you, but you pushed him away.

He was getting more nervous: “Look y/n, I ain't had a woman in my bed but you, and you know that damn well. Ain't no way I'm gonna be with another woman now that I have you!”

You turned to him in anger: “The hell you got me! I'm tired of being here alone, I want to come with you!”

He raised his voice: “Now listen here, you're gettin' hysterical again...and ya know how I hate that!”

You knew things were starting to get hardly to bare for both of you and tried to calm down. You looked away: “Well...then what are you still doing with a pain in the ass like me??”

He came back to you, lowering his voice a little: “I ain't sayin' you're a pain in the ass, y/n. It's just that, damn, you're always so dramatic and upset about anything!”

You put your hand on his shoulders: “That's because I care about you and I'm sure another woman in my place, would have already left you!!”

He gets angry again and raised his voice louder, making the walls tremble. “Hell with the other women, I’m with you! There ain't no other girl in the whole damn world that I'm interested in. But goddamn, girl, you gotta loosen up a little!!”

“I'm just saying what what I feel!”

He kept on arguing: “Yeah, you've been "sayin' how you feel" since the day we met. And you never stop complainin' about this and complainin' about that and I'm sick and tired of it! Now shut the hell up y/n if ya know what's good for ya!!” he grabbed an ashtray and smashed it on the floor.

You looked at him mouth-opened: “Don't talk to me that way mr. Presley!!!!!!”

He grabbed your arm and yelled: “ I told you to keep your goddamn mouth shut, y/n. I ain't playin' with ya. Get ya ass on that bed and wait for me. I’ll be back when I am. I need to calm down!”

You were shocked by his reaction, but you tried to talk in a softer way: “We're a couple Elvis! Both of us have to behave! Not just me!”

He sat on the bed and breathed slowly: “Okay, okay, I’ll try to stay calm, but why does everything always gotta be such a damn struggle with ya?? Do we really need all this drama?”

You turned to him with fury eyes: “The day I won't be doing it anymore...start worrying!”

He stopped for a moment and looked at you in silence. Then he came to you and grabbed your face in his hands: “Oh, damn honey, that's what I love about you: you always find some clever way to turn anything I say around on me. You're a smart girl, but that damn tongue of yours is gonna get you in trouble one day!!”

You took his hands off your face, still nervous: “Oh don't you worry, I know how to defend myself!”

“Damn right you can, I know that very well, but you gotta admit that sometimes you really get on my nerves!!! Sometimes I’m a little afraid of that tongue of yours!!!”

You didn't look at him: “I know you are...and you better be!”

He stood still for a second, then he came closer and put his hands on your waist: “Ya know, I've never met a woman as strong as you before!”

You smiled sweetly at him: “I hope so, but you know what the problem is? We're two hard-headed children!!”

He looked at you and laughed: “You better believe it! But, at least we admit it. Now, I better go rehearse for the show tonight so…if you don't mind...” he let you go and headed for the door.

You suddenly felt him very strange and distant, so you turned your back. “I don't mind at all! Go and have fun. When you're gonna come back?”

He stood on the door: “Not till late, don't stay up waiting for me…” his voice turned suddenly threatening. “But you better be here when I get back!!”

He left the room and you remained alone again. You loved him, but when he acted that way you couldn't stand him, so you thought of having a night out, to relax and push away those bad moments from your mind. You would have come back before him, he would never know. You took your phone and called your best friend: “Cindy!? It's y/n, please tell me you don't have anything in store for tonight!” Cindy sighed: “Let me guess, Elvis again? What happened this time?”

“Cindy please, I’ll explain to you later, come pick me up as soon as you can!”.

“Okay sugar…I’m coming.”

“Thank you".

You hang up and went to sit on the bed. You looked at the picture of you and Elvis on the night table and you turned it aside.

“This is not the end, believe me!”

#elvis presley #elvis the king #elvis fans #70s elvis #elvis history #elvis smut #elvis imagine #this man will be the death of me #elvis fanfiction #elvis fanfic

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maxwell-grant · 6 months ago

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Glad to know you like suicide squad, did you ever finish reading JLI?

I have a lot of respect and love for the creative team but, sorry to dissappoint, I found JLI fucking unbearable and could not finish it. I gave it 25 issues and powered through after dropping it and didn't enjoy one single moment of it and I don't think this is magically going to become tolerable when it's time to bring in Despero and the Global Guardians and the character with a slur for a name. I guess I could say it was a good comic of it's time that I just didn't vibe with and leave it at that, or I'd say I think the humor drags down the good parts, but to be honest I'm just not seeing the good parts here either. The best things I can say about it is that it's well-drawn and that Max Lord is a decently compelling puzzle/central figure to pin this enterprise on, a twist on Ozymandias for a different context, I get why fans are upset on him being turned into a clear-cut villain, although Amanda Waller he ain't. And of what I've seen that's kinda it actually.

It is kind of weird that this exists in an opposite world situation to Suicide Squad, where Suicide Squad is the more traditionally-drawn book about rejects banding together under hardship to deal with troubled international quagmires and find their own bonds to humanity and each other amidst chaos, and Justice League is the slick colorful book about rejects being funnyman bastards doing violent pantomine routines 24/7. You'd think it was the other way around. You'd think Guy Gardner wouldn't be more unbearable than Captain Boomerang given he is technically a more moral person, but when Boomerang's being misogynistic, he eats shit for it, where as when Gardner pretends to fall atop Canary so he can grope her, it's played as a gag (and god you could not ask for a starker difference than the treatment of their female characters between these two books). But as is, I am not remotely impressed by characters acting like funnyman bastards for 90% of any given story, and then punctuating their moments of seriousness by constantly reafffirming that they aren't one-bit jokesters.

Did you catch that the first time? Can't you see how they are more than just funny jokesters, let's repeat that again for emphasis, don't you get the nuance on display here, don't you get there is more to Blue Beetle and Guy Gardner than being unbearable pieces of shit, in case you don't let's have Hawkman's every single goddamn line be about how he's a big old stuck-up meanie harping about the old days who is wrong for not accepting the new way of doing things (and please do not take this as me being upset about the sanctity of fucking Hawkman, it's just one more horribly grating thing in a comic full of them). I get why these characters have big followings, but I'm at a loss to understand why said followings would originate from this, it seems like all of them surely must have acquired whatever nuance or likeability they have later.

You know that thing people complain about regarding vapid cliche lines like Well that just happened / It's not what it looks like / That's gonna leave a mark / Uum he's right behind me isn't he, that kind of stuff? JLI feels like the birth of those, it feels like the real version of the thing that people who exaggerate MCU quips complain about, because oh my god every fucking page is littered with those, they can't get through anything without doing an insufferable bit. Every character is the suffering straight man or trying to be the funniest person in the room in an interminable Mad Magazine skit. They never shut up and never stop making jokes and they NEVER make a single one of them funny and everybody talks the same, everyone makes the same jokes, everybody has one trait and that's their joke, and my god you guys I gave this thing 25 damn issues of a chance and I hate even thinking about it, and if a single one of you tries to get me to read one more comic with G'nort in it I swear I'm going to -

So, yeah, wasn't for me. Credit where credit's due though, the one funny joke I've seen in this constitutes an all-timer Batman moment.

#replies tag #dc comics #justice league

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igotanidea · 2 years ago

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Worst thing: Dick Grayson x f!reader

Inspired by the song: Worst Thing by NOTD & Kenzie

Warning: inuendo, some action but nothing too explicit, in this case Dick is a bit out of character (just for the sake of it)

Life was too much lately. We were constantly on a mission or a patrol or busy with work or investigating or doing whatever shit our hero mentors had going on. I needed a break and I guess so did Dick. Passing by each other was no good for our relationship, any relationship actually since it had destroyed a couple of mine in the past. Or at least I was telling myself that the reason was behind my double life. The truth however was slightly different. It just every time someone tried to get close to me, hold me or kiss me or touch me, I saw his face in front of my eyes. God damn, Dick Grayson!

I wish we never met sometimes

'Till I'm with another ex, and I

Forget that you're the best sometimes

He was a wolf, no one could deny it. The list of his ex-girlfriends was miles long and yet he could never kept any of them for long. I always wondered why, to be honest. It’s not like he didn’t want a real relationship. I saw it in his eyes when he was looking at me. I saw it in his action we were fighting alongside each other or even when we were spending nights talking about life or just sitting in silence. He wanted someone to care for and love and someone who will reciprocate to him with the same amount of love. He shouldn’t have to carry all the burden on his shoulder, alone and I was trying my best to show him that he had people around. That he had me around. As a friend, of course. I never got the guts to tell him the truth of how I really felt.

Wonder if I'm in your head 'cause I hate this

And I hate that, you're making me say this

Cause I ain't one to say this but

Our friendship consisted of understatements and restraints. Judging from the time perspective I believe we were pushing each other apart because we were scared of letting someone in and then losing that person or seeing them hurt. And because we were afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability. We trusted each other but confessing true feelings was a one-way ticket way. It was easier to be just teammates. Bruce used to insist that we were training together but that was just it. Nothing more.

We claim we're better off apart

Pretend that we don't get along

At least up to some point.

Like I mentioned, we were good working together, so when another mission and investigation in another city came up it was natural choice that the team voted for the detective and an CSI agent to lead it.

“Ready to go, Grayson?” I asked grabbing my bag, throwing it over my shoulder and walking towards the elevator. Why was he standing like this, eyes open, feet rooted to the ground? “Dick?” I waved my hand in front of his face and he blinked rapidly, out of his Robin instincts grabbing my wrist “Are you sure you are capable of joining me? You seem a bit cuckoo….”

“Joining you? Oh, Y/N. You know well enough I am the leader here.” He smirked and finally moved to follow me out. “You are just a support, not the other way round.”

“Mhm, sure.” I muttered “We’ll see how that goes when we will have to actually talk to people, not beat the shit out of them”

“I can talk to people.”

“Sure, you can Dickie, sure you can” I rolled my eyes smiling lightly at the reminder of his last talk. “But only if we have to deal with tall, blonde policewoman or female agent.”

“You are a female agent….” He pointed out

“Thanks for noticing, genius.” I grinned “I feel flattered that those jeans does not make me look like a butch. Now….” When we got out of the Titans tower I instinctively moved towards the driver side of the car but he yanked me back onto the pavement, causing a little crash between his chest and mine “Ouch….” I whined

“First of all, you have almost walked right in front of a motorcycle so you’re welcome. Second, you are not going to drive my car”

“ Oh, come on Don’t go all man-like on me. What is it with guys and their cars?”

“I’m driving. That’s not up for discussion.”

“all right then. But I’m in charge of the playlist?”

“This is not a field trip Y/N. We’re on a mission. We should discuss what and how we are going to do. Music will be a distraction. Now, get in.“

“Just this once, Grayson. Let’s settle on the fact that work is important, I get it” I moved inside the car and relaxed into the comfortable seat, stretching my legs out “but I also know you are going to go full instinct, so why the talk, hm?”

He didn’t; respond, so in the end we ended up not talking and not listening to any music, just driving in complete silence. Everything went surprisingly smoothly and within a couple of hours we were done with our little intel ready to go back.

Well, the way back was more of a bumpy ride.

When we were driving through the forest, the car suddenly died on the roadside. With one sharp tug and a bit of coughing coming from the engine we were estranged far from home.

But would it be the worst thing

If your car wouldn't start up

“Is your precious porche going to the dogs?” I asked unmoved by what was going on “could you try to relight the engine?”

“I am. It’s not working.”

“Ok, then. I guess you probably forgot to fuel up, too busy with ordering me around as usual.”

“Y/N…..”

“Should we call the team to come and rescue us? It’s getting late and dark.” I stretched my back a bit, pointing towards the horizon where the sun was setting behind the trees. “however the view is breathtaking” I smiled a bit, admiring the landscape. I was always a forest creature.

“Y/N.” Dick turned his gaze towards me and as I look into his eyes it was like an electric shock. All I saw in his eyes was just a bit too much and I felt my cheeks flush, desperately trying to take control of the situation.

“Did you plan this?” I asked, perplexed as he leaned towards me over the gearbox, one of his hands finding mine, the other cupping my cheek and I moved towards his touch, too consumed by his closeness to be embarrassed.

“Maybe.”

“So what are you going to do now, Robin? Murder me? Bury me in the ground so no one could find me and you could blame my poor skills for the mission failure? Or….””

“Or what? He asked, his eyes landing on my lips, face inches from mine and I felt his breath on my cheek, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, gently, lovingly.

“Or are you going to kiss me?” I panted, my breath fastened with all the emotions I felt at the moment as all of a sudden I became braver than usually.

We had to fog up the windows

When it gets dark

Just to keep us warm.

“would it be the worst thing?” he muttered and crossed the distance between us, both of his hands closing in on my waist pulling me closer. Honestly, despite his skillful lips and my blurry mind caused by the sensation he was giving me, making out while still siting on two different seats was a bit uncomfortable and it wasn’t helping that our hands and bodies wanted to feel every inch of each other.

“Come here” Dick whispered, breaking the kiss for a while, grabbing me by my hips and carefully placing on his lap “I want you closer to me.”

“Good thing we agree on something” I smiled against his lips “but I though the car was your temple?”

“It is. And that’s why I needed you on this mission with me. We had no time or space to talk and clarify things in the Tower. Too many people around….” His mouth moved onto my neck, gently sucking there, probably leaving hickeys that would be impossible to cover. Well, I couldn’t care less.

“And are we talking now?” I moaned softly as his hands sneaked under my shirt “you’re cold!”

“Well, not for long. Not with you baby.”

Due to some magical power I was not aware of, he was soon shirtless, helping me out of my T-shirt, wanting to feel my skin against his. God! I loved those strong arms, making me feel so safe, even if we were in the middle of the wild forest, at complete darkness where every possible psycho could just come at us. I knew if it ever came to that he would protect me. Not Robin. Dick. My Dick Grayson. My boy, I was in love (and in denial of it) for so long. I loved his scared chest, so broad and toned. I loved his eyes, the way he looked at me through those amazing eyelashes. I loved his tousled black hair and his cheeks and his possessiveness and recklessness. I loved how he made me lose control and just give in to the moment. I loved him all. Good and bat traits. And I loved how he was the one to walk that tightrope between our inhibitions. What else can you expect from an acrobat, right? His skin was a bit rough but soft at the same time, and satisfying his previous words, he was now so warm. I felt his pulse rising as I locked my hands on his neck, playing with the hair on his nape, wanting more of him.

Judging by his hold on me, he was pretty much immersed with the same feeling.

“I love you” he whispered, now kissing my chest.

“are you going to act on it?” I whined impatiently

“No, baby. This is just taste of what I can give you. This not the place to go full-on. I respect you too much for that”

“What? Dick…..” I arched my back trying to change his mind

“Y/N…..” he sighed heavily “don’t.”

“Why not? You started this.”

“I can’t really see you objecting, baby.”

“that’s the point!” I hissed “I don’t want you to hold back and ��..”

“Trust me, I’ll give you anything you want. But…. I want to do it in more appropriate environment” he whispered in my ear, causing a shiver run down my spine. “Just imagine what’s coming for you.”

“Dick……” I moaned desperately, knowing I already lost this fight.

“Sush, End of discussion. Now rest.” he winded the seat down making me lay my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. It wasn’t slow and definitely wasn’t calming at first, but soon became steady and much to my disappointment I started to drift off.

“Dickie….” I chuntered

“Yes, baby?” thank god for his flexibility that allowed him to reach to the backseat and gather a blanket to cover my half-exposed figure and a bit of himself

“You really planned this, didn’t you?” I giggled, my breath tickling his chest

“I did.” He sighed, holding me tighter. I felt like a baby, loved, secure, safe with him. Someone was looking over me and being taken care of was such a good feeling……

“I love you, Grayson……”

Wondering where the hell have we been?

And would it be the worst thing if we both fell asleep

Woke up to twenty calls each

When I opened my eyes again I was tangled in Dick’s arms as even in his sleep he was holding me steady. I tried to move as carefully as I possibly could, extremely sore, but still I didn’t manage to avoid waking him.

“Morning Y/N” he grinned and those sleepy eyes, still a bit blurry with the rest of the dream and hoarse voice made my heart swell. “Did you sleep well? Why are you crying?” he became awake in an instant “did I hurt you?” his alerted voice make me cry a bit more and he was quick to wipe all the tears “Y/N? Look at me. What happened?”

“Those are good tears, Dick. I just….I just feel a lot right now and I’m not sure how to process it all.”

“Well that’s a change from the randy girl from last night” he mocked and I lifted the corners of my mouth lightly

“Well, look what you are doing to me, Richard Grayson.” I looked him straight into the eyes “can we just stay here? In our bubble? I don’t want to go back to the tower….”

“I would love to, but we may be in trouble….”

“How so?” I raised an eyebrow and he handed me our phones. Twenty unanswered call… Each. “Oh, shit…. What do we tell them?”

“That we had the most fulfilling, additional eight hours of investigation” he grinned and I hit his arm, probably hurting myself more than Dick.

If it means that we'd have eight more hours alone

Or even if we never make it home

I guess that wouldn't be the worst thing

“Really? That’s what you going to tell Bruce?”

“I can just admit I finally got you all for myself….”

“Dick!!”

“What?”

“I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing” I smiled and not able to help myself any longer kissed him, enjoying those last minutes of peace between us, before the search and rescue.

@somest1 @pinksirensong

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