#like in middle and high school we had a mutual benefits thing going where they would help me in class if I struggled but they struggled...

[somelonelywordmonger]

NOT MY DAD THUMBS-UPPING MY PAINED SIGH OF "i'm use to it tho"

Dad, please :sob:

such a dad thing to do LMAO

[sukirichi]

fall from grace

“If you were in love,” he began, voice barely above a whisper, “What would be the most beautiful thing those lips of yours would utter?”

“Your name.”

REQUEST/WARNINGS. (royal au, mutual pining, praise kink ) fake dating au, mirror sex, slight manhandling, fingering, body marking, prejudice, mentions of abuse, injustice, and inequality + unedited (I’m so lazy to edit tbh, I’m so sorry, just bear with me if there are typos or grammatical errors)

NOTES. I LOVE AND HATE THIS STORY

WC. 7k+

SONG INSPO. Ashes (Celine Dion)

The prince himself lifted his chin up higher; long, slender fingers deftly grazing against the pad of your knuckles that were pressed on his chest. 

The tips of your ears burned at the sight of people pausing from their conversations all to witness the scene – one that was so rare to have come from the infamous Crown Prince known to have bedded more women than he could count.

“Your Highness,” you pinched your brows together, leaning closer into him to bring you the least bit of comfort. The dress you had to wear today had nothing but itchy lace; albeit elegant, you preferred the loose materials of your dance clothes, painted red lips fighting back a grimace. “Must we really do this in public?”

The Crown Prince laughs, his white hair fluttering against the soft kisses of the wind. Beautiful, you think, beautiful, you are reminded, prompting you to dig your free hand deeper into the flesh of your thighs.

“What would be the point of our ruse if we are not a little flashy, My Lady?”

You frowned at his words, head ducked down as you avoided everyone’s prying eyes. You supposed you should be used to this – you are a performer, after all – but the attention was terribly unwelcomed yet expected from your previous agreements.

The said agreement, however, did not affect your standing as a person, something you had to remind the happy-go-lucky Prince. “I am not of that title.”

“People regard you of it,” he commented at an off-beat, his crystalline eyes sweeping over the crowd with a chilling command, a slight bite of a challenge that asked his people to dare him. When they shifted away, scurrying behind fluffed up skirts and pressed down suits, the Crown Prince snickered, smiling down at you with a flash of his pearly whites. “You are, after all, hanging prettily off my arm.”

“Because you asked me to, Your Highness.”

“Ah, are you forgetting already?” he paused, his long and elegant stature towering over yours. “I’m doing this for the both of us. The agreement was clear – you steered me away from my arranged marriage, redeem my nettling reputation, and in turn, I shall pick you up from where you’ve fallen,” your lips parted in protest, finger raised to correct that no, you had not fallen, that was not the situation at all, but he silenced you when he leaned down close enough that his eyes twinkled before you, lips turned at the side arrogantly. “In fact, I am more than capable of providing you more than that.”

“I am well aware of that, Your Highness. I truly am indebted to you.”

Should you be humiliated? Forming an agreement with the Crown Prince would be the last thing that would ever arrive even in your craziest dreams, yet there you were, in the middle of the town square, leisurely strolling with the Kingdom’s heir as if it was but a daily occurrence.

Thoughts running back to your latest predicament – which he just had to bear witness to – you winced, swallowing the resigned sigh that threatened to spill.

You did not have enough shame in you to be humiliated, not when he was right. It was a mutually beneficial agreement.

“You do not have to be,” Prince Satoru blinked at you, gray lashes fluttered against the pads of his cheeks. “I take extreme pleasure in saving a damsel in distress,” Your lips puckered out, tireless with the need to tell him it wasn’t like that, and the Prince easily read through you, tugging you back into his arm as he laughed. “Even when I know you are not. Still, it does feel nice to take a walk in this fine day, don’t you think?”

You snorted at the heavy sarcasm under his sweet tone, “It feels a little embarrassing.”

“You feel embarrassed that you’re with me?”

“Yes,” you gritted at your teeth, the lace of your gloves digging into your flesh. You wanted nothing more than to rip it off, the material a silent reminder of the requirement that must be met to fool the crowd. “You’re a prince and I am—”

“I thought we already established titles mean nothing when we both mutually benefit from one another,” he cut you off, hands coming up to caress at your cheeks. You immediately froze at his touch, the iciness behind those eyes doing nothing to soothe you until he spoke, the Prince’s words oddly gentle and warm like the sun that shone down on you that fine day. “Worry not about that. I do not care what people think of you. All I care is that you do well and I shall do my part gracefully in return,” he declared for what seemed like the hundredth time that night.

Back then, you never believed that people had power just because they were born with it. Power had to be manifested, trained, earned – yet Prince Satoru wielded it with his lips so effortlessly that in that moment, you believed magic really wasn’t a myth.

“Kiss me.”

“Wh-what?”

“Everyone is looking,” his eyes darted over the on looking crowd, his bare hand still caressing your warm cheeks, hot enough that it put the sun to shame. “Lest you want this plan to fail, I suggest you kiss me, darling. Passionately.”

The Crown Prince was right. Everyone was looking.

Your body’s response was instantaneous. A hiss of a breath, muscles tensed and fingers curled into a fist at your side; you could feel bile rising from your throat out of panic.

Then Prince Satoru leaned forwards, eyes snapped shut and his lips colliding with yours. The single touch had all the tension flooding away as you kissed the Prince, his lips tasting of cinnamon and sugar, vanilla and spice wafting off of him delicately that you had to fist at the collar of his shirt to prevent yourself from gobbling him up whole.

He would find that rather displeasing, claiming that you had little to no table manners, so you forced yourself to relax as he breathed air into your mouth, large hands cradled around your neck.

“I’ve got you,” he mumbled between kisses, the mere scent of royalty and forbidden elegance dripping off of him making you fearful to open your eyes. It felt illegal to touch the most wanted bachelor in your Kingdom this way, felt wrong to have his hands roaming down the slopes of your body while everyone looked at your shameless public display of faux romance. But if it was wrong, then why did he hold you so tenderly, not moving to push you away even as you nipped at his lips once more?

“You’re alright – I’ve got you.”

It was not easy being a no-name ballerina. You’ve crafted your skill for what seemed like your whole life, yet getting even a step closer to your dreams proved to be a daunting task. Even as your toes bruised and your muscles ached, pants heaved from your chest while you bended your body at will, you couldn’t stop thinking about how no one told you it was never easy to reach your dreams.

The fairytales had lied to you. They made it seem to easy to grab a star, never really explaining on how to be a star.

It felt so far away – the galaxy and universe you’d longer your entire life to be a part of – yet the Crown Prince stood at the corner of your studio, eyes dark as he watched you sway to the music.

A few weeks prior to your spontaneous arrangement, you were foolish enough to believe you could become that star easily. You were the lowest of ranks when it came to other girls; orphaned, no-named, broke, and loveless. 

Unlike your peers that were bred of the finest titles and fed with silver spoons, nannies and courts running after them in their growing years, you had to survive on scraps, taking three jobs at the young age of thirteen just to get into dance school and afford the fees.

You believed title or ranking shouldn’t have had to do anything with talent and worth, but then again, you were foolish beyond your years.

The moment you heard you were chosen to be the Black Swan of this season, allowing you to debut, you squealed behind your skirt, training day and night to the point you’ve skipped your meals just to perfect your routine.

That was until your classmates’ parents had come inside the school, twirling their moustaches behind soft fingers that had never known a day’s worth of work, belly round with cupcakes and all the delicacies only they were privileged enough to eat, the nervous laughter of your ballet master enough to let you know what it all meant.

Your classmate – the prettiest and the richest one – came rushing past you as she giggled over the announcement that she would be the Black Swan.

She was far many years younger than you, spoiled and with an attitude that tasted as bad as your leftovers, and definitely not skilled enough to debut – but of course, nothing was ever impossible enough with money, right? Before you could even defend yourself, your ballet master had cleaned out your quarters, your skirts and shoes thrown onto the muddy dirt while you cried under the rain, begging for another chance.

Second chances? You wanted to laugh.

Only people who did wrong should ask for it, and yet you sat there on your knees, hands clasped in a prayer that should only be reserved for wish bearers, desperate pleads of please don’t do this to me echoing into the empty night.

Was it fate then that the Crown Prince was half drunk inside his vehicle, shades slipping off his nose as he turned your way, your cries rudely interrupting the music blaring inside his car?

Perhaps it was – a cruel or a wonderful fate; no one could tell – the only thing that mattered now was that the Crown Prince had yet again found interest in a woman.

Only this time he didn’t lust after their body, wished nothing to do with their hands on his, completely sober around your presence as he watched you train endlessly in your studio, your sweat making your clothes stick like a second skin.

Prince Satoru leaned back against the walls then.

He should’ve brought a drink with him. Had he known that watching you dance sensually with such a blissed out expression he was mostly familiar with when he had his legs wrapped around another warm body would set his body alight, sober, then he would’ve left long ago.

Still, the Prince is rendered frozen at the edge, eyes trailing over your graceful form as you bended, legs flying out into the air while you arms dipped and curved into the most graceful of arcs and bows that put his combat figures into shame.

You weren’t even trying to seduce him and yet he was wholly captivated.

He wants to say that the woman he saw that rainy night and the woman stood before him now, figure bathed in the small slivers of sunlight that peeked through the blinds and stockings hugging each and every curve and dip of your body were entirely two different people, but the longer he looked, there was no mistaking it was still the same person. The passion burned through your eyes, the soft melodious tunes of the music guiding you – or rather you guiding the beat before you fluttered to another.

Prince Satoru smiled.

It first came off as a joke that he wanted to know more about you – his pretend lover – because everyone knew the Crown Prince was too frivolous to ever settle down and find interest in a woman beyond her looks. The confused pout you gave him as he followed you inside your studio burned at the back of his brain, a silent warning that you were different; that you were not someone he could touch lest he wished to burn and break you, though that would be a lie, it seemed.

For every strong ripple of your muscles and flowy movement of your body as you completely delved into the space of your own home and comfort, the Prince knew – you were not someone he could crush into the palm of his hands.

He came here out of boredom.

He left the studio with a confused heart, cheeks resting on his palm as he asked his chauffer, when is the next show?

The birds chirped above you, your fingers stretched out as you peeked from under it, lips pressed into a flat line. You were in the royal garden after persistent invitation from the Crown Prince himself. Speaking of, said Crown Prince had his limbs sprawled out beneath you, the edges of his hands slightly playing with the frills of your dress as he took his afternoon nap, a youthful smile on his face.

“Your Highness,” you huffed out, “What are we doing here? No one is looking. There is no need for us to continue our act.”

“I know,” he cheered a little too brightly for someone that looked to be deep in dreamland, “I just wanted to hang out with you without worrying about others. Not that I ever did, but it’s nice to be alone with you every once in a while. The prying eyes can get a bit too much.”

You hummed at the thought; he did have a point. This arrangement turned out to be a lot smoother than expected. The Crown Prince wasn’t lying about his intentions and not once had he laid a hand on you – without your permission, anyway – and he turned out to be…a lot more docile and easy going than what you originally thought of him. Not that you had much thoughts to begin with anyway, the Prince was a celebrity and therefore not someone that concerned you.

In your mind, he was merely your leader, more often than a not a name spoken between hushed whispers and dreamy moans.

This side of him was different, and all the time you’d spent him with was filled with nothing but ridiculed stares and taunts. The Crown Prince was a hilarious man who never feared trying out new things, always happy and eager to try exotic foods with you in the night markets or joining you in your spontaneous dancing during midnight ‘dates.’

He was the closest you could consider as a friend, and you relaxed against him, laying down on the flowery fields right next to him as you sighed in content. “I will miss this, Your Highness.”

“Miss what?”

“You and I – hanging out,” you mumbled a little dreamily, “I have a strong feeling things will finally get better for me. When I get scouted by a better company, I won’t be able to hang out with you anymore,” Silence befell the both upon you, the rustling of the wind against the flowers sounding like a far off memory. Soon, it would be. “I will miss this.”

“You could always call me. Or who knows, maybe I’d even drop by to watch your performances sometime.”

You snapped your eyes open, chuckling when the Prince had now sat up halfway, his regal face cradled in his hands while his elbow laid flat under him. He blinked innocently at you, and that’s when you realized – he was serious. That had you bursting into laughter, hands clutched at your stomach. “Please, you? You do not even enjoy ballerina!”

“I enjoy watching you,” he confessed in a heartbeat, his gaze falling from your crinkled eyes and all the way down to the silhouette of your body. “There’s something about the way you move that’s just so graceful and...phenomenal.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his heated gaze, the mere trails of his sight enough to warm your entire skin despite the cool wind. This was the Prince concerned though, and you had to guard your heart, eyes narrowed playfully at him while you desperately ignored the need to rub your thighs together.

“Are you flirting with me, Your Highness?”

The Prince snorted, “Flirt with you? My pretend girlfriend?” he clutched a hand at his chest as if the assumption offended him, “What makes you come to that conclusion?”

You chucked your handkerchief at him, still a little in disbelief that you were greeted by his laughter when it hit him right in the face.

You would miss this indeed.

Your gaze softened as you sat up, thighs pressed to your chest as you directed your gaze up in the sky. Prince Satoru may not always be around when the time came, but at least you still had the sky to remind you of this brazen and unexpected friendship that helped you grow.

“Thank you, though,” you squished your cheeks onto your knees, a lilted smile plastered on your face. “Dancing has always been a passion of mine. I can’t ever imagine a time of my life where I wasn’t moving with music. It almost feels as if I was destined with it; it speaks to me and deeper than the recesses of my bones, guides me until I’m one and entangled with it,” you ended with a dreamy sigh, turning your head to the side to look His Highness in the eye, stilling for a moment when you’re met with his solemn gaze.

Your throat parched dry. “Have you ever fallen in love with something like that before?”

“I don’t think so,” one of his shoulders lifted up in a lame shrug, voice turning deep and husky as he asked, “How do you know when you lack something or not?”

“If it comes to love...” you tapped your chin with a finger, “I think a life lived without one would feel quite empty. Hollow, I would say, and the skies would just be a plain blue instead of a calming yet mesmerizing one,” the courage that soared within you was an unexpected one, but it was enough to let you look him in the eye, form vulnerable and words slipping past your lips before you could control them. “If I were incapable of love, I’d say your eyes are nothing but gleams of sapphire.”

“And if you were capable of it? What would my eyes be?”

“Like cerulean galaxies crashing against one another,” you whispered, “Stardust sprinkled and heavens birthed out of passion and the desire to be something more. You’d be azure and brazen instead of crestfallen; the magnificence of the universe’s creation attesting to itself that it is wholly capable of designing divine beings.”

“Hmm,” he tipped his head to the side as he mulled over your words. His jacket was discarded somewhere along the grass, top three buttons of his shirt left opened and hair rustling with the wind. Beautiful, the image etched into your skin. “Are you sure you are a dancer and not a poet?”

“People say all sorts of beautiful things when they’re in love.”

The Prince straightened up, lips pursed. For a moment, you grew fearful, your heart frantically thumping in your chest as you thought, this is it – this is when he pushes you away. He does nothing of this as he scoots closer to you, using his rough thumb to tilt your chin until you were looking up at him, wide eyes sparkling – the sight of you vulnerable like this making the Crown Prince lick his lips.

“If you were in love,” he began, voice barely above a whisper, “What would be the most beautiful thing those lips of yours would utter?” You shivered as his thumb moved up to graze at your bottom lip, almost prompting it to jut out, to which you happily complied with a shaky breath. “What would you say then?”

“Your name.”

The Prince smiled to himself at your hearty answer. To hide both of your nervous chuckles, the Prince took it upon himself to ease both your worries as he kissed you, nothing but the warmth and fluttering of butterflies rampaging in your stomach mixing at his sweet taste.

Beautiful, you hummed into his mouth. You could fall for as long as you wanted, but would the Prince ever fall from grace as he moaned into your mouth, tugging you until you were situated in his lap, arms wrapped tight enough around you in refusal to let you go? Maybe, your mind sighed, hands tugging at his hair when the Prince kissed you fervently, murmuring one word that made you melt right then and there.

Beautiful, he finds you.

Both your loud laughter echoed in his training grounds, the horses’ hooves padding against the firm earth. “Not fast enough, my Lady,” he taunts, his smile bright and wide as he sat perched atop his white stallion. “How would you catch my heart if you cannot ride faster?”

“I will catch up to you, just wait and see! Not everyone grew up riding horses, you know?”

“I bet a fine coin you do ride well, though, my Lady,” he remarked with a wink, his statement enough to tap the sides of your feet harder against your horse to catch after him.

“Your Highness!”

As you two chased around each other the wide field, carefree laughter and clothes swaying against the wind, skin warm from the flush of the sun, the Crown Prince’s servants stood at the side.

A particular woman – the servant that had been loyal long before the Prince was born – remained under a parasol, her wrinkled face tight with a frown.

“How nauseating,” she scrunched her nose, arms crossed on her chest. “To think I dedicated my life into raising the little prince to be a fine king someday, and his future would be tainted by a lowly performer who cannot even make a name for herself,” turning to one of the young boy servants, she narrowed her eyes at you. “Where does she work again? Is she of name?”

“She is an orphan, Madam, taken in at a young age in a dance school before she had to pay the fees herself, if the rumors are correct. I heard that she and His Highness met when she was kicked out by her own ballet master due to her stealing the original Black Swan spot for this season’s show.”

His old nanny’s face grew more gruesome. “Wasn’t the Black Swan supposed to be one of the Earl’s daughters?”

“Yes. Rumours had it that His Highness’ new plaything seized the spot to prove herself. Look at how that plan backfired.”

“How repulsive,” she spat out, venom laced in her tongue.

The roles had reversed, the Crown Prince insistent in catching you this time around, and you rode after him with panicked laughter, hands clutched tight on the reins. Although you’d only swished past the small group of servants that always seemed to be around, you’d heard enough.

“We must protect His Highness at all costs before this wretched woman rips his future away from him. The fate of the kingdom lies on his shoulders; we cannot afford him making mistakes.”

“Indeed, Madam.”

You stopped in your tracks until the horse slowed down with confused huffs, your Prince following behind you not long afterwards. Looking back at him again, you were no longer able to smile at him genuinely, not when discomfort, and most of all shame, had to be forced down deep into your system. Beautiful, you resigned, he was too beautiful.

His servants were right. Maybe you really were ruining everything for him. His reputation was frowned upon to begin with for his less than infamous sexual endeavors, that he was more often sighted in casinos and bars instead of his study room.

The barrack guards had grown tired and weary of trying to stop the Crown Prince from leaving the royal grounds. No matter what they did, he always found a way to escape.

The only difference this time around was that their Prince no longer frequented such sinful places and met with women of all titles and backgrounds. No, this time, the Prince leapt from the tall walls that had never been much of a challenge considering his tall frame, not bothering to get a car or even a horse as he dashed straight to your studio.

Sweat dripped down from your face as you slammed a fist on the floor, tears about to erupt. You couldn’t complete this routine that you were so close into perfecting.

Your mind was simply just in a mess.

There was a conflicting war inside you – one with your heart that yearned to stay longer in His Highness’ presence out of mere selfishness, and one with your mind that told you it was dishnoroubale to taint his name like this. The last thing you wanted was to destroy and push both of you even further into falling from grace; both reputations and name already tarnished.

You’d truly be heartless if you kept going on.

But that didn’t change the fact that you were feeling comfortable with him, having found home in the Crown Prince’s warm arms and spontaneous kisses of all places.

Was it absurd? Undoubtedly so.

Could it be helped? You certainly could try.

And you’d been doing a great job so far; quite a daunting task you patted yourself in the back for. Avoiding the Prince when he’d made it clear he also enjoyed your company proved a lot harder than reaching your dreams, but you pushed through, locking yourself in the unused studio and training day and night.

It wasn’t working well – not on your part, anyway. You’d been here for hours, your clothes uncomfortably sticking to your skin and your water bottles were all emptied.

You’d never felt this tired.

You fell on your knees, palms flat on the floor and sweat salty as it trailed down to your lips. With a groan, you untied your shoes off and stared at the bruised and blued toes, a witness to the countless years of hard work. Your lip quivered as you massaged the sore muscles, tears about to spill as you remembered the Prince.

Beautiful, he was, flawless and porcelain in each movement and breath.

But you? You were battered, scarred, broken and bruised – why would he want you of all people? It was clear he’s had multiple lovers before you. No, scratch that, you were never a lover to begin with. It was all a sham, an agreement formed out of lame survival. There was no beauty in a lie.

The music playing from your stereo kept repeating on loop, this time the tune no longer unrecognizable as your soft cries echoed around the studio. You weren’t beautiful – not enough for him, at least – everyone made that very clear to you.

Just as you wiped your tears away at the back of your hand, standing up to continue another set as you refused to come back home without completing one perfect routine, the doors slammed open. Heavy breathing entered afterwards and you scowled – you worked tooth and bone to claim this place as yours, who dared enter? “This studio is private—” your words fell dry on your skin when a tuft of white hair trudged over to you, his usual placid face replaced with a firm sneer. “Y-Your Highness?”

“Why have you been avoiding me?”

His voice was nothing but demanding, the authority behind them only natural and befitting for someone like him. Each step he took forwards equated to a step backward until your back hit the mirrors, eyes wide as you gazed up at him.

Your voice came out weak. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t act like I’m stupid,” he pointed a finger at you, then scoffed, hands running through the soft locks of his air while he shook his head. You stood there grasping at your tights; having never seen the Prince lose his composure before. “I know you’ve been avoiding me. Every time I try to contact you, you never respond. When I ask your friends where you’ve been, they all tell me you’re busy practicing.”

Somehow, you managed to find your voice again, tone heavy and biting. “I am busy practicing, do you not see that?”

“It’s not the only thing you’re occupied with. Clearly, you are quite determined to stay away from me too,” he bellowed, his loud voice bouncing back from the emptiness of the room. The booming sound must’ve snapped him back to consciousness because Prince Satoru sighed, stepping closer until his warm hand cupped your cheek, starry blue eyes filled with worry and anguish. Had you caused this?

Beautiful, you frowned, that even in his demise he managed to look like fine art. “Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” he softened, breath warm on your lips. “If yes, then tell me and I’ll do everything it takes to make up for it.”

You fisted his shirt; cheek faced his way because you couldn’t look him in the eye right now. There was no way you’d let him see you cry.

“I don’t understand you, Your Highness,” you murmured, “You’re about to be King – why do you bother yourself with someone like me? I’m nothing compared to you, and I detest being compared to you for I am more than worthy despite not being born of a high ranking like yours.”

Prince Satoru froze. “Is this what this is about? My title bothers you?”

“We should stop whatever we’re doing,” was all you said, pushing him away as gently as you could, ignoring the gnawing pain that grew inside of you when your palms landed on his chest. “It is lowly of me to take advantage of the Crown Prince’s kindness anyway. My success should be paved out of my own hard work and not because of my lame connections to the Crown Prince.”

“Lame connections? Is that all I am to you?”

“You are my Crown Prince, Your Highness,” you reminded him of the stark difference firmly, “You mean a lot to your people, but I do not mean anything to you. I am just another nameless performer lost in the crowd of a thousand other girls who wish to reach their dreams, even if such a star is far beyond our reach,” Tears had now fallen until they formed into crystals on your cheeks, and he blinked back, unsure of what to do. “Could you ever understand what that feels like? To yearn for something you know you could never have but hope for anyway?”

“It would be a lie if I said I did,” he admitted quietly, “But I think I’m beginning to understand. It would make sense to me now – if you keep pushing me away, that is.”

You shook your head begrudgingly. “Your Highness...we shouldn’t.”

“And why not? Who said we couldn’t?”

You don’t stop him this time when he stepped closer once more, trapping you between his arms until you clutched desperately at his shirt, his erratic heartbeat pulsing under your touch. “It’s just you and I – neither a prince nor a performer – simply man and woman who crave each other’s touch. What could be so wrong into giving into one’s desires?” you gasped when his lips fell at the juncture of your neck, your head immediately tilting to the side as you allowed him to ravage you. “You still haven’t given me the chance to let you know what I feel,” he cradled your jaw, caressing your skin as he breathed you’re your ear, voice low and sultry, begging even, “Would you really deny me the pleasure of showing you how beautiful you are to me right now?”

“Satoru,” you keened at his teeth tugging at your skin, fists clenched on shirt. “Touch me.”

“That’s all I ever wanted to do, darling.”

Satoru swept down to capture your lips in his, his grip firm on the swell of your ass he kept you close to him, pressed hip to hip and his hardened front grazing your core through the tights. He pulled a moan from you as he flipped your body over, lips finding home in your neck while his large hand cupped your breast, the other trailing down to finger at your clothed, damp pussy.

In this angle, you could see the despondent way you easily spread your legs for him, your pants like music to ears.

“Do you still not believe me when I say you are worth more than a pound of gold? Look at you – your dripping cunt shines harder than the diamonds I keep in my room,” the both of you groaned when he pushed a finger through your hole, your tights stretching and sucked in by your walls enough to outline the arousal that seeped through. “Maybe I should keep you instead, hmm, don’t you think? You’d be a far grander treasure than all those riches.”

“I am a woman,” you tugged at his hair, panting heavily as he kept fingering into you, his thumb grazing at the sensitive bundle of nerves that swelled under your tight clothes. “I am not to be reduced to a possession you acquire.”

“No, of course not. Nothing could ever replace you in this world,” he growled, harsh in his movements as he tore your clothes with minimal effort.

You yelped when your precious tights had been ripped to the sides, a hole revealing your core and your breasts barely covered with the flimsy fabric. Satoru shuffled his pants down before placing you right on his cock, swallowing your moans with each inch of his length that slid inside you.

Hands dug painfully into his hair, Satoru hissed at the pain, grinning to himself at how wet you were through just light touches and a sloppy kiss. You’ve been good for him, though, you were always good for him that he had to reward you, show you how beautiful you were, and he spread his legs apart, relishing in the sight of you being fucked onto his cock.

“Nothing feels better than your tight pussy, huh? Take a good look at yourself, you’re so fucking precious, taking me so well,” you could only moan in response, unable to take your eyes off the way his length disappeared inside you, a shiver chilling your spine when he grasped at your breasts, nipples tweaked between his fingers. “Nothing, nothing, nothing could compare to this. You feel like heaven, taste like bliss and forgiveness,” he licked at the salty sweat that drowned your body, one of his hands now rolling your clit between his fingers. You screamed, bouncing yourself harder on him with your nails dug deep into his thighs. “You will be the redemption of my darkened soul, are you not?”

“Maybe I will be,” you cried out, head lolled onto his shoulder.

Satoru hummed, his eyes dark and coated with lust when your breasts bounced in front of the mirror. Thanks to years of dancing, you barely felt a stretch when Satoru suddenly lifted your legs up until your thighs were embarrassingly squished against your chest. You knew why he did this; it wasn’t that hard to understand why when he narrowed his focus on the way your juices slipped down his cock, the sounds of your pussy squelching drowning out the operatic music.

Satoru kissed your cheeks to wipe your previous tears away, his hands nothing but grabby and possessive as he gripped the flesh of your thigh. “You already are, sweet thing.”

Pleasure had completely taken over you at this point, that familiar heat building up in your stomach until it snapped into two. Pupils blown wide open, you gasped as you came all over him, your cum creaming down onto his cock until it lined with a thick ring of cum.

It was filthy to say the least, and your body burned at the thought that you were disrespecting him, defiling him with the mess you’ve made. But the Prince only fucked into you harder, his teeth grazing at your already abused skin with relentless and merciless thrusts. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d show you how beautiful he found you, going hell and beyond because you felt nothing but worshipped when he kissed you feverishly, his moans romantic as he came. “S-Satoru!”

“That’s right,” he slipped a finger, the stretch adding a slight tinge of pain that had your hips rutting out in sensitivity, your hole clenching around his everything. “Cum for me. Come on, I know you can do it for me. You’re so good, sweetheart, come for me.”

You were mindlessly babbling his name as both of you came down from your highs. Satoru doesn’t stop once from running hands everywhere, gripping your hips, flicking your nipples, rubbing your clit, and running a finger down your slit to wipe your juices everywhere. It had become too much that you had to push his hand away, legs locking around his arms that refused to stop cupping your pussy.

“Do you see how beautiful you are?” he cooed, shameless and teasing when he brought his hands up to your face, fingers stretched to show the webbing of your arousal between them. “We made such a mess,” he chuckled, his kisses a lot softer now on your neck.

Beautiful, you whimpered internally as you fluttered around nothing.

Satoru must’ve grown an addiction to kissing your lips for he dived in one last time, murmuring the word you always tied him with until they felt printed, tattooed, on your skin. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to bask in this, your kisses slow and sensual as you both enjoyed this serene moment.

He came to this studio to prove you something.

He left the studio with a swelling heart, cheeks resting on your breast as he wrapped his arms around you in the comfort of your worn-out mattress as he asked, can I stay here longer with you?

The cheers and applause directed your way were deafening, the spotlight blinding as you bowed. You gasped for air, every muscle in your body screaming both with delight and exhaustion.

You could barely fathom the crowd hidden in darkness before you, the sight like a black sea, but instead of feeling like you were drowning, you don’t think you’d ever been able to breathe this well before. The smile on your face was bright – brighter than the star you’ve become and bigger than the galaxy and universe you’ve made for yourself – and you waved your arm gracefully, toes pointed outwards while the roses and flowers thrown your way came flooding like a waterfall.

You’d made it.

And through the crowd, at the back where someone the likes of him wasn’t supposed to be, His Majesty’s white hair stuck out like a sore thumb. His draperies were replaced with finer ornaments of gold embroidery, those large hands that had grown accustomed to holding yours and marking handprints on your delicate skin covered with gloves as he applauded, following the crowd from where they all stood.

Your smile directed him was nothing less of a beam, the stars he’d hung for you reflecting back in your eyes. Tears blurred the vision of him for a moment until you saw him again – crystal clear – his expression both proud and longing.

The memory of you and him had been a beautiful one, but it was distant and with each passing day, it blurred until it became nothing like swirls of I love you’s and good luck’s whispered onto one another’s skin. Your heart still soared and broke each time at the sight of him, the majestic Queen hanging off the arm that was locked with yours just years ago a painful reminder that there would always be an invisible divide between you and the Prince you’d fallen in love with.

There was no regret, however, in where things had led. You knew he loved his kind wife as much as he loved you, and he knew you loved him as much as you loved your career, and things were simply just…meant to be this way, you concluded.

It was never supposed to be a great love story that told of breaking traditions. Not all stories were meant to go against the odds; some were told to show that people could be capable of change without having to change anything. You were thankful, still so extremely grateful you met your beloved Prince even as he left the theatre before people crowded around him, leaving you to your devices until you retired back into the changing room, a set of rare flowers only a certain person could afford.

Beautiful, you cried as you picked up the card, his once messy scrawls improved into a neater cursive befitting for the new King.

And so it was that you parted ways, with him leading his country into further prosperity while you moved away and stole people’s hearts with each phenomenal show, one after the other.

Your summer rendezvous with the Prince was not meant to be a love story that went against all odds; you were there to save each other from reaching damnation, loving one another as passionately as your souls were able to until you picked each other back up.

Once the other stood firm, tall, and ready to take on the world with their bare hands, you pushed one another in your respective directions.

Beautiful, you smiled as you clutched at his present close to your heart where he’d built a garden out of itself, that we’d saved each other from falling from grace.

[emeren]

speed racer pt.2 - eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader

word count: 4.3 k 

content warnings: 18+, smut, car sex, possessiveness, choking, dangerous driving idk LMAO

notes: it’s my birthday today! my gift to you all is speed racer pt. 2!!!! pt. 1 is not necessary to enjoy this oneshot, but may help with some context. here is that! 

SUMMARY: eren takes the reader for a drive where he decides to clear some things up about their relationship in his own special way. 

“it’ll be quick; i promise,” eren’s voice brought you from your daydream, head shifting against the cold window to look at him in the driver’s seat. his hair was up, brows furrowed in guilt as he waited for your response. 

you let out a dramatic sigh, reaching to unbuckle your seatbelt. “fine, but i’m not going to wait in the car.” 

“once it’s over i’ll buy you some food,” he rationed, unbuckling his seatbelt the same. you eyed him suspiciously, waiting for the inevitable sexual innuendo to leave his lips. “n’then i’ll take you back to mine and fuck you, just like you want.”

your unspoken agreement with eren had become routine at this point. after your mutually discovered attraction a couple weeks prior, the two of you had spent many a night in his bed, unashamedly basking in your sexual tension. 

the concept of sex buddies hadn’t been one you’d previously dived into, and you would’ve been lying if you’d said you didn’t want to be exclusive. it only made matters worse that eren insisted on doing everything with you at this point, including dragging you to his board meetings for his sponsorship. he was a pain in the ass, but he was a pain in the ass that treated you like his girlfriend. 

you wanted to make it official, but were too scared of embarrassing yourself, so you resorted to enjoying things the way they were. frienemies with benefits, as eren would say. 

“c’mon, don’t be so vulgar,” you responded, slipping out of the car as eren snickered to himself quietly. you hated the fact that his comments made your face heat up. you were beginning to act like a schoolgirl around him, infatuated by your little crush. 

“you know you love it,” eren smirked over the top of the car as he joined you, locking the vehicle. it was dark outside, the stadium brightly illuminated against the navy sky. “what was it you said again? ‘i want this just as much as you do’?”

you scowled, giving his arm a hard shove. he would not let you forget the things you’d said in the heat of the moment. “oh, fuck off.” you snipped. 

eren laughed again, jokingly rubbing his arm as the two of you walked up to the stadium. it was around eight, the building being nearly vacant save for the members of eren’s sponsorship board inside. 

“what’s the meeting about?” you asked as he held the door open for you, a gush of air conditioning making you shudder. 

“if i’m being honest, i don’t know,” eren replied, his eyes settling past you. as you turned your head, you saw a group of exhausted looking men in worn grey suits talking quietly amongst themselves. they stopped whispering at the sound of the door opening; a short, balding man making his way over. 

“mr. jaeger, thank you for coming on such short notice,” his voice was thick as he spoke, obviously a smoker. eren reached out to shake his hand, the man’s beady eyes settling on your face as he did so. “i’m sorry, but we won’t be allowing any unauthorized people in this meeting.” 

startled, you looked to eren, whose face did all but curse at the short man. “do you mind waiting out here?” 

“oh, yeah, no biggie,” you smiled reassuringly. he shot you a look of gratitude, mouthing the words “i’m sorry” as he walked off with the group. it was funny to watch him go; surrounded by serious men in suits while he wore jeans, a sweatshirt, and a pair of sneakers. not to mention he was about a foot taller than the rest of them. 

a sigh escaped your lips as they disappeared around the corner. the building was ominous when you were alone; large and vacant, normally filled with people excitedly bustling to watch a race. without the energy, it was downright creepy. 

you decided to stand against the wall while you waited, anxiously toying with the hem of your skirt and counting the number of fluorescent bulbs that flickered in the ceiling. 

the distant rumble of talking suddenly hit your ears, head snapping in the direction of the sound. it was getting louder, obviously two people approaching. you readied yourself to launch into an explanation as to why you were sitting alone in the stadium, after hours, only to be pleasantly surprised at who rounded the corner. 

“yo, what’re you doing here?” connie cried out in excitement, a smile splitting across his face. he was with jean, the two of them spattered with engine oil and dirt. 

you grinned back, pushing yourself off the wall to meet them halfway. “eren had a sponsorship meeting and dragged me along. what about you guys?” 

jean smirked at your response, sharing a look with connie that went unnoticed by you. “well, connie accidentally told the boss that we don’t know jack-shit about car mechanics, so now we have to go to a stupid workshop five days a week.” 

“hey, it’s not my fault he was eavesdropping on our conversation with armin,” connie retorted, coming to stand beside you. you smiled at your friends, happy they were there. “we’ll wait with you, if you want?” he proposed. 

“that’d be great,” you sighed. “eren said they’re usually only like thirty minutes long, so we won’t be here all night.” 

“about that,” jean started, uncomfortably bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. you frowned, wondering where he was going with this. “are you and him, like, y’know...” 

you paused for a moment, deciding to play dumb. “huh?” 

“are you and jaeger-meister dating?” connie interjected, wiggling his brows. despite knowing that this is where the conversation was going, you couldn’t help the wave of embarrassment that washed over you. you shifted uncomfortably in place, looking between your friends. 

“i don’t know,” you answered honestly. “i can’t tell if he likes me or not. god, this is so high school.” you muttered. 

jean gave you an apologetic smile, opening his mouth to speak before connie decided to give his own advice. “huh? why wouldn’t he like you? you’re a hot piece of ass!” 

a laugh escaped your mouth at his idiocy, jean dishing him a scowl. “don’t listen to him. personally, i can’t see why you’d want to date that little shit.” 

“yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing,” you replied demurely. 

“well, if you like him that much, i say go for it,” connie shrugged. you eyed him warily, waiting for the ‘but’. the three of you stood in silence for a moment longer, considering what to say next. 

“do you want my help?” jean asked apprehensively. he looked put-off by something, but you couldn’t tell exactly what. connie gave him an incredulous look. 

“sure, i guess,” you responded. in some ways, you felt bad for jean. your friendship had been built off of a mutual distaste of eren, and now that you two were sleeping together, the playful mockery with jean had died down. he motioned his head back towards the wall, indicating that you and connie should follow. 

“alright, here’s my plan,” he whispered dramatically. connie nodded his head, the two of you leaning in as if it were some grand escapade. “eren is a dumbass. in fact, i think he still has the brain of an ape.” 

you rolled your eyes, suppressing a laugh as connie nodded once again in agreement. “get to the point, he’ll be out here any minute now.” 

“alright, alright!” jean held his hands up defensively. “i genuinely don’t think he’s capable of intelligent thought. that being said, i believe the right way to gage his feelings are to activate his instincts.” 

“dude, how long have you been planning this?” connie snorted. you couldn’t help but smile at just how funny the two of them were. 

 “never mind that,” jean shooed him back in annoyance. you raised your brow impatiently. “we need to make him jealous. if my assumptions are correct, it’ll piss him off and then you can tell him that he’s the only one you’re interested in.” 

you pulled back from the huddle, unsure about his grand plan. “i dunno, jean. this sounds kinda stupid, if i’m being honest.” 

“oh, c’mon,” jean begged, a devious smile on his features. “this’ll be our last chance to taunt him together.” 

connie grinned as you contemplated it. “i think this is a great plan!” 

you groaned, the small side of you that liked to make fun of eren starting to grow once again. “okay, fine. how’re we gonna do this?” 

“leave that to me,” jean smirked. as if on cue, you could hear the bustle of the sponsorship men coming down the hallway. your tall friend was quick to step behind you, wrapping his arms around your torso and placing his chin on your shoulder, effectively pulling you to his chest. “follow my lead.” he whispered into your ear. 

you couldn’t help the heat that rose to your cheeks at the action. jean was respectfully keeping a distance between your ass and his groin, but he was close enough that it wasn’t very obvious. 

connie started to babble about a new korean barbecue restaurant that he and sasha were planning on going to, you rocking in jean’s arms to make the sight believable. 

your heartbeat was drumming in your chest as eren rounded the corner, his professional smile plastered on his angular face. he was in the middle of talking with the balding man from earlier, eyes fixed on him. jean gave your waist a squeeze in reassurance. 

eren’s gaze peeled from the short man, teal eyes landing on you and jean all cozy. it was as if a flip was switched; the professional smile he’d been wearing slid off his features with ease, face hardening. 

you held his angry stare for a moment before turning to connie, laughing at whatever had been said, the feeling of jean’s breath against the shell of your ear as he let out a light chuckle. “it’s working.” 

you heaved out a deep breath, focusing on connie instead of eren. you could feel his eyes practically burning holes in your head, shifting your neck so that yours fell back on jean’s opposite shoulder. 

“alright, that should be it for tonight,” you heard one of the men say, glancing back over to them. you didn’t look for long though, quickly noticing that eren’s stare was intently focused on you and jean. 

the men shuffled past the three of you, leaving the building. “hey, jaeger. we ran into y/n as we were leaving.” jean hummed against your shoulder. 

you looked back at eren, who was standing in front of you with his eyebrows furrowed. jean must’ve been right, judging by eren’s face. 

“we’re leaving.” eren deadpanned, taking a step forward. he wasn’t looking at jean, rather staring directly at you. you could feel a slight amount of guilt creep up your spine, jean sighing exceptionally loud as he pulled away from you.

“do you guys wanna come to the korean barbecue place with us? it’s gonna be real good,” connie asked innocently. eren didn’t look away from you, his jaw clenching. 

“no. we’ve got other plans.” he said seriously, reaching forward to grab your hand and tug you the opposite way from the doors. 

“woah, eren, you’re going the wrong way,” you huffed in confusion, trying not to trip as he yanked you away from your friends. he continued forward, not looking back. 

“uh, bye i guess?” jean yelled. you looked over your shoulder to see the two of them giving you a thumbs up. you dished them an appreciative smile as you rounded the corner. 

“eren, where are we going?” 

eren stayed silent for a moment, not letting go of your wrist. “for a drive.” 

“huh? but your car is in the lot out front?” you mumbled, absolutely dumbfounded. the tall man didn’t respond, large hand still wrapped around your wrist. 

it wasn’t until you came to a familiar large door, eren giving it an unnecessarily hard shove. the lights flicked on, revealing ten shiny race cars, all perfectly lined up. 

eren let go of your wrist, making his way over to his own car. it was a sleek black with white checker decals, much like the rest of the vehicles in the garage. you’d seen it before, as it was quite literally one of eren’s most prized possessions. 

you stood in the doorway, eyeing him warily. “your race car? you never take it out on regular roads.”

eren’s jaw clenched as he unlocked the car, pieces of hair falling in his face. he looked upset, muscular arm propped on the roof and brows laced with annoyance. 

he walked around to the other side, opening the passenger door for you. it was strange, seeing him dressed in his regular clothes next to his race car. something about the nonchalance was attractive, teal eyes looking at you expectantly. “c’mon. be a good girl and get in the car.” 

at his choice of words you swallowed, inwardly cursing jean for his plan. you knew you were in for it, judging by the fact that eren only referred to you as good girl when he had his most sinful plans in mind. maybe you should’ve just talked to eren about making things official rather than making him jealous, you thought. too late now. 

“okay,” you sighed, resolutely deciding to accept whatever fate it was that jean had painted for you. you crossed your arms, slowly approaching eren. you stopped right as you were about to slip into the car, looking up at him through your lashes. he stared down at you, eyes serious. 

you slipped into the dark interior of the car without further discussion, the cold leather making you shiver as eren shut the door. you observed him through the windshield as he pressed a button to open the garage before getting in the car himself. 

the smell of his cologne filled the car, your teeth nervously nibbling at the skin on the inside of your lip as he turned the vehicle on. you’d never been inside the car before, only seeing it on the track and in the garage when you came to pester your friends before a race. 

it rode impossibly smooth, eren bringing his hand to the back of your seat as he backed out of the garage. you tried not to stare at the way his arm flexed, jawline enhanced as he strained his neck, but you couldn’t help yourself. he was just so hot. 

eren must’ve felt your eyes, glancing down at you momentarily with an expressionless look. you quickly shifted in your seat to stare out the window, heat burning in your cheeks. god, why was this suddenly so awkward?

it was silent as he drove out of the arena, the dark city glittering against the sky. it was beautiful at night, skyscrapers lit up all pretty. you quickly found yourself distracted by the view, leaning your head against the cool glass. you were so consumed that you didn’t notice eren merging onto the freeway. 

you were brought out of your trance at the feeling of his large hand resting on your upper thigh, grip tight and possessive. you glanced to him again, lifting your head from the window. 

he was staring straight forward, foot slowly increasing the gas. you felt your chest tighten, seeing how he was riding the tail of a minivan in front of you. 

“eren,” you warned, insinuating that he slow down. his index finger tapped tauntingly on your bare thigh, slowly rising up the skin. the fabric of your skirt rode up, eren weaving past the minivan with one hand on the wheel. 

“i have a question for you,” he said lowly, eyes not leaving the road. you gulped, a strange mix of arousal and anxiety pitting itself in your stomach as his hand reached the apex of your thigh. the side of his pinky brushed against your pelvis. “hm, no underwear?” 

you felt a pang of embarrassment. in your defense, you’d thought tonight was just going to be spent hooking up with the man, not going to the arena. “i, uh-”

“so, jean had his dick pressed against your ass and you didn’t have underwear on?” his voice was deep, jealously dripping from every word. your breath hitched as his middle and ring finger slid against your clit with ease, already soaking wet. 

eren’s shoe pressed down on the gas again, the car zipping in and out between other vehicles on the freeway. his fingers rubbed against your clit slowly, your legs subconsciously spreading to give him better access. it felt so good, the way he was circling the nerves with desirable pressure. 

“mmm, eren slow down, you’re going to crash the car,” you mumbled, watching as he sped up, whipping past the other vehicles. he was easily approaching 100 mph, your anxiety beginning to outweigh the pleasure. as if sensing this, eren sped up his fingers as well, a whimper leaving your mouth. 

“i know it’s bad for me to be so jealous,” eren said flatly, his middle finger deviating from the ring finger to slowly insert itself into your tight cunt. he pumped it slowly, still not looking at you. he was pushing 110 at this point, doing so with ease. “but something about jean touching you. being so close to you like that.” 

his ring finger joined the middle, the two sliding in and out of you, curling slightly. it was hard to stay focused on his reckless driving when he was fucking you with his fingers like that, your mind feeling fuzzy as a passing car laid on its horn. 

“eren,” you breathed out in worry, his fingers hitting your sweet spot in order to make you shut up. “you gotta slo-” 

an involuntary whimper left your lips as he curled his fingers particularly deep, the tingling sensation at your core beginning to build. you looked over to him, and boy what a mistake that was. 

his one arm was flexed, hand gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white. he was entirely focused on the road, eyebrows furrowed intently as his other hand purposefully increased its speed. he was so so hot.

you stifled another moan as your eyes looked forward again, the sight of eren nearly clipping a subaru outback making you sit forward.

“you’re going to crash!” you gasped. 

“i’ll slow down if you answer my question,” eren growled, his thumb coming to rub your clit rapidly as his fingers continued to pump in and out of your cunt. you hissed at the newfound pleasure, your head coming back to rest against the seat. 

“yes, yes, okay,” you agreed, screwing your eyes shut to avoid looking at how fast he was driving. 

eren took a deep breath, giving you a sideways glance. he’d never done this before, but he’d also never felt this way about someone. the way you clenched so good around his fingers making his chest tighten. he made you feel this good, not jean. the thought brought a smirk to his face as you let out a strangled moan. 

“i’ll stop speeding if you agree to be my girlfriend,” eren’s words shocked you right out of your pleasure coma, eyes widening as you jolted upright in your seat. did he really just say that? did jean’s plan actually work?

his hand jerked the steering wheel to the side, your mind too preoccupied with his statement to even notice his fingers had stilled inside of you, anxious for your answer. he wasn’t looking at you, eyes still locked on the road. 

you held your breath as you noticed how fast your heart was beating. “i thought you’d never ask.” you responded, cheeks burning. 

eren’s lips curled upwards, pulling his fingers from inside of you. your eyes followed his long digits as he popped the middle two into his mouth, sucking your bitter sheen from his knuckles. he was your boyfriend. he wanted you to be his girlfriend. “good girl.” he mumbled. 

you glanced back at the freeway, surprised as eren jerked the steering wheel, making an abrupt exit. it appeared to deviate into the woods, your eyes flitting nervously to the man beside you. “um, where are you taking me?” 

“i’m just fulfilling my promise,” he answered, bringing his hand back to grip your thigh. his fingers were wet with his saliva, the sight bringing a strong throb to your core. oh yeah, i never finished. “’member? i said once we were done with my meeting i was going to fuck you.” 

you suppressed an excited smile at his vulgar words, pressing your thighs together for some form of relief. you were painfully aroused, the burning sensation almost too much to bear. 

“plus, it seems like you never learn,” eren’s words were suddenly serious as he pulled the car up a gravel road. there was a sharp drop off to the side, the city skyline sparkling in the distance. you cocked a brow at him. “you’re my girlfriend now, but i’m still pissed about that stunt you pulled with jean. gonna have to punish you, of course.” 

you swallowed as he shut the car off, the city sitting innocently in view. the spot between your legs was aching, desperate for some form of release. you couldn’t help the swell in your chest at the fact that eren was your boyfriend now, anxiously awaiting whatever he had in mind. 

eren leaned over you, maintaining a deep stare as he shifted your seat into a flat position. his fingers lightly danced across your skin as he unbuckled your belt, face hovering above the hem of your skirt. he glanced back up to you, teal eyes glinting in the darkness. 

“can’t wait to fuck my new girlfriend,” eren growled, wasting no time in climbing on top of you. he shifted your legs so that your knees were bent by your head, wet cunt on full display in front of him. he stared down at you, a hand on each knee. “shit, you’re so hot like this.” 

he slowly brought a finger to your center, the feeling of his cold digit gliding against you bringing slight relief to the deep ache. his eyes were focused below your waist, lazily flitting upwards as he brought his finger to your lips. “taste.” 

you happily accepted, wrapping your lips around his finger. your tongue swirled around his knuckle, the saccharin taste filling your mouth. he pulled it from your lips, a devilish grin on his features. 

“i can’t wait any longer,” he breathed, leaning forward to press his lips against yours. the kiss was deep and heated, however it felt different from all the others you’d shared in the past. it was meaningful and tender, slow and deliberate. his tongue swiped your lip, slipping into your mouth with a sigh. 

his hands undid his pants as you kissed, the sound of his belt being undone filling the small space. you could feel him positioning the tip of his cock at your entrance, sliding it against your slick. 

eren pulled back to look at you, breaths mingled for a moment before he pushed past your entrance, burying himself deep within you. the stretch was slightly uncomfortable and you were convinced you’d never get accustomed to the sheer size of his dick.

eren didn’t wait for you to adjust, flexing his hips back to give you another purposeful thrust. a whimper slipped past your lips at the feeling, his hand leaving your leg and lightly wrapping around your neck. 

“fuck,” he hissed, speeding up his pace. your walls clenched around him, climax fast approaching with every deep thrust of his cock within your cunt. “feels so good fucking you when you’re all mine.” 

his hand tightened around your throat, the combined pressure at both ends of your body only adding to the pleasure as he rammed into you. he grunted as his other hand pressed your legs forward, getting a better angle so that he could fill you to the hilt. 

a strangled cry ripped from your throat as he hit particularly deep, bringing his face down to roughly kiss your lips. he was breathing heavily, the car shaking as he bucked his hips into yours.

eren craned his neck down to look at where his length disappeared inside of you, a small smile toying at his features. the sight caused his cock to twitch, relishing in just how nicely he filled you up. you were his, and he was yours. 

just the thought of you being his girlfriend was enough; a loud groan leaving his chest as he pressed his hips against yours. you could feel him release himself inside of you, the thick sensation bringing on a much anticipated orgasm. your limbs grew cold, the pleasure reaching the tips of your fingers. 

eren placed a chaste kiss to your forehead, gazing down at you. “my girlfriend is so fucking hot.” he grinned. 

you rolled your eyes at his cheesy comment, swatting his chest playfully. he carefully removed himself from you, trying not to drip onto the car seat. 

“here, pretty. you’ll have to keep your legs up,” he instructed as he pulled his pants back up. you frowned, the thought of holding this position the whole way back somewhat daunting. 

“huh? but how am i supposed to keep this stuff from coming out?” you whined, still trying to regain your composure. eren’s face was flushed as he smirked at you. 

“that’ll be your punishment, m’kay?” he said smugly. you scoffed, holding your knees in each hand. 

“but that’ll be impossible!” 

“don’t worry,” he leaned forward to kiss your lips once again. “i’ll drive slow.” 

<3 <3 <3

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 3

18+ MINORS DNI

Pairing: Shigaraki x Dabi (just this part), Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader (very brief and vague reference to Dabi x Hawks)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: smut and feels, it's literally just smut, blow jobs, friends(?) with benefits, blow jobs, anal fingering, light degradation (both for shigs and reader), could maybe be interpreted as slight dubcon, dirty talk, slutty dabi, dabi is an asshole, so is tomura, reader has gender neutral pronouns, I'm keeping it fem cause Shigs hates women and calls them that

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which the boys share in some good ole roommate bonding activities and Tomura has a blow job induced epiphany.

AO3 Mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg (shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged and make sure to check my rules!)

Dabi’s mouth was wet and so fucking warm as he swallowed around Tomura’s dick.

“Oh fuck…” he groaned as Dabi hummed around his length and did that thing where he flicked the ball of his tongue ring over Tomura’s slit.

Bright blue eyes stared up through deceptively long lashes, smirking at the way Tomura drooled as he got his soul sucked out the tip of dick. The mattress underneath him creaked despite the negligible weight of both their bodies. Dabi settled on his stomach between Tomura’s pale thighs leaving fingerprint bruises in soft flesh.

They did this sometimes, though he wasn’t quite sure when exactly it started. Dabi had been his randomly assigned roommate freshman year and he grew so used to living with him that the two of them had just silently, yet mutually agreed not to fuck something up that wasn’t broken. They both berated each other for their strange and somewhat disgusting habits—Dabi would say that Tomura was a gross shut-in creep who needed a fucking shower and Tomura called Dabi out on his slutty pastimes and obsession with piercing the hell out of every available inch of skin.

And sometimes they sucked each other off.

It was overall not a terrible arrangement—Dabi got his fill of dick and Tomura could no longer be made fun of for being completely inexperienced. Plus, as much as he was loathe to admit, Dabi was really fucking good at oral. Like, demonically good. He’d been going down on Tomura for so long now too that he’d learned all the things that had him spilling onto that pierced tongue in minutes.

Tomura jerked from his thoughts when two, lube slicked fingers prodding at his ass.

“Dabi, what the fuck are you—” he protested, wiggling his scrawny hips up the bed and inadvertently letting his cock slip out of the inviting heat between his roommate’s lips.

He couldn’t see much other than the shaking mop of black hair and pale hands with chipped black nail polish digging into his legs, yanking him back.

“Shut up freak,” Dabi slurred, words slick with spit and Tomura’s precum. Dabi said it tasted like battery acid, but it never stopped him from guzzling it like he did with cheap whiskey and cigarettes on the weekends. “I know you like it.”

He did like it, but Tomura wasn’t about to contribute to the fucking evil grin Dabi was giving him as he circled the tight ring of muscle, slipping in a finger to the first knuckle.

Tomura’s head flopped back on the pillows as he bit back a low moan, “Fuck off.”

“If you say so,” Dabi shoved his finger in roughly, squeezing a second in behind it and letting Tomura bask in the burn of being stretched too quickly before ripping his hands away.

“No!” Tomura wailed pretty fucking shamelessly and grabbed the retreating wrist, placing Dabi’s tatted hand back on his dick that throbbed and leaked painfully.

“Dude, what’s gotten the fuck into you?” his roommate asked, smirking still, but pumping Tomura's cock loosely nonetheless. “Our walls are thin as hell, you know I can hear you jerkin' it in here every night, and now you’re practically begging for me to suck you off. Usually I gotta come to you.”

He was infuriatingly right again.

Tomura had indeed asked for him to do this, which was definitely out of character for him. Most of the time when they ended up in this position, it was because Dabi spent hours hounding him about it or just fucking dropped to his knees and whipped Tomura’s cock out in the middle of a movie night or snuck into his room while Tomura was gaming and swallowed him whole just to laugh at the way his online friends reacted to the noises.

He’s just been so pent up lately, and you insisting on fucking touching his arm or sitting on the floor between his feet at League meetings was really not helping it.

“I don’t know,” Tomura lied, both to Dabi and himself in the hopes that the head of black hair would just go back to bobbing on his dick like he so desperately needed it to.

“Bro, I have fucked with enough people to know when they’re wishing I was someone else,” Dabi scoffed and ran a blessedly hot tongue from base to tip and suckled softly at the blush pink head before pulling back with a wet pop. “So who is it?”

“I’m not fucking thinking about anyone,” Tomura hissed, fisting Dabi’s spiky, black locks and thrusting into his mouth till he felt the contractions of Dabi gagging around his length. “Usually you're jumping at the chance to get dick in your mouth, so why does it matter?”

Dabi pulled back, wiping the silvery string of spit leaking past his lips away and scowling as his fingers ghosted over Tomura’s balls and sank back into his pliant ass.

“Seriously creep, I’m five seconds away from ghosting and you can fuck your hand like the sad little bitch you are. So tell me their name or I’m walking right now.”

Tomura huffed as he felt Dabi’s long, rough fingers pulled from him again and the heat of his mouth growing farther away.

“Ugh fine, it’s that bitch I’ve been working on the English thing with.”

Dabi made a face like his brain was buffering.

“Seriously?” he asked, mouth gaping in a way that had Tomura even more furious his dick wasn’t buried in it.

“Yes!” he shouted and grabbed Dabi’s cheeks in both hands, sinking past his waiting lips and practically purring when he felt them close around the base as his long tongue massaged the shaft. “Oh god yes…”

Dabi rolled his eyes, managing to look smug even with a cock stretching his lips taught against the piercings. He used to try and tease Tomura about how small his dick was, but it was hard to believe him. Especially with how he choked sometimes when Tomura got rough with him despite his boasts of lacking a gag reflex. Not to mention how he looked now, jaw probably aching with the stretch and loving every second of it.

Tomura lazily bucked his hips up and whined high when the fingers in his ass curled and thrust against that fucking spot he hadn’t known was there until Dabi found it for him.

The pleased sound he made tapered off into a growl though, when his roommate with questionable benefits pulled off again to run his slutty fucking mouth.

“Tell me about it,” he mumbled, kitten licking at Tomura’s cock and running the ball of his piercing through the slit again. Tomura gulped when he pulled it back into his mouth to swallow the bead of precum he’d collected. “I’ve seen your fucking paramour around before, pretty serious about school though. And kinda out of your league too, not gonna lie. So, what would you do if your cute little partner was here instead?”

Tomura bristled at the insult but couldn’t keep his pissed off look when Dabi went back to sucking his cock like a pro and curling those fucking fingers against his prostate. When he did speak, he blushed hard at the way his voice cracked and sounded like he was crying.

“I don’t fucking—holy shit—know,” he gasped and Dabi hummed both to egg him on and to get a whole new wave of precum gushing out of Tomura’s dick.

“C’mon man,” Dabi groaned, and Tomura distinctly heard the sound of a pants zipper and felt Dabi’s hips canting against the sheets.

That fucking masochistic whore. He would get off to Tomura dirty talking about someone else while he sucked his dick.

He considered stopping the whole thing right there, but then Dabi was sinking a third finger into his ass and thrusting hard while he hallowed his cheeks around Tomura’s cock and sucked—

“Tits!” Tomura cried and covered his burning, red cheeks with his hands. “I want to put my fucking face in them and taste them in my mouth. Sometimes I can see the outline of their nipples when we’re working and the air conditioning comes on and I want to suck on them so fucking bad I can’t think about anything else the whole night.”

Once he got started, Tomura found the words just spilled from him like a dam had burst. Dabi, the depraved bastard, groaned loud and ground his pierced dick harder against the mattress as he continued to deepthroat Tomura’s cock and fuck his ass at that perfect angle.

“Sometimes when they drag me to their stupid club I lose the rounds cause I—oh god, oh fuck—just imagine them in my lap, sitting on my cock and fucking writhing and squeezing me while we face off. Such a fucking—Dabi more!—stereotypical try-hard, bitch but I want to be inside them so fucking bad,” he felt actual tears stinging the raw corners of his eyes when Dabi sped up on his dick.

Tomura scrapped his nails against Dabi’s scalp, holding on for dear life as his breathing became even more ragged than usual. His friend’s cruelty streak reared its ugly head as Dabi sensed the tensing of Tomura’s balls and the clench of his tight ass and slowed down a fraction, keeping him teetering on the edge of an explosively pleasurable release.

“Fucking asshole,” he growled, but didn’t dare try to fuck Dabi’s face lest he make good on his threat to leave Tomura high and dry. “I just—shit, ah, don’t stop—they talk to me sometimes and I just wanna suck their tongue into my mouth so they shut up and I need to hear them fucking falling apart or using that stupid, stuck up teacher voice on me and fucking my ass—Dabi Fuck—is that what you wanted to hear?”

Dabi, because he got off on being a little shit, gave him one last delicious swallow before pulling back and fisting Tomura’s sopping wet cock. The fingers had stopped thrusting and were now pressed hard against his prostate, sending shocks through his body and making him twitch violently as his blood rushed with endorphins. He never stopped grinding his own dick against Tomura’s cotton sheets the whole time.

“You got it bad huh, don’t ya creep,” he mused, letting a fat glob of spit fall from his lips and keep his palm slick. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you talk about fucking anything, much less another actual person.”

“No I fucking don’t, “ Tomura writhed against the pillows, giving in to the undeniable urge to simultaneously fuck up into Dabi’s hand and ride his fingers.

“Who knew you were such a desperate whore, falling for the first person to show you a modicum of attention,” Dabi jeered and squeezed the tip of his dick hard, listening to Tomura let out a choked sob. “I’m actually kinda proud of you, bro. My little incel baby’s growing up.”

Dabi cooed at Tomura, sinking sharp teeth deep into the meat of his thigh and sucking a bruise into the flesh.

“You’re the one—nghh—getting off on it,” Tomura clapped back but didn’t bother denying it again.

There was a sense of dread growing in his gut alongside the mounting pleasure of his orgasm that Dabi was currently holding hostage. Dabi may have had a dickish personality just as massive as the actual dick that was currently painting his comforter in stains, but he knew Tomura.

And he did, admittedly have much more experience with these types of things.

“Fuck yeah I am,” Dabi grunted. “Last time I let you return the favor you bit my fucking cock. I gotta get off somehow.”

“Don’t say rude shit to me and I won’t bite you.”

“Watch it, Tomura,” Dabi huffed and nipped at his thigh again. “You should be thanking me for my services.”

“Not if you’re gonna keep running your mouth instead of sucking me off,” he tried to sound intimidating but he was well and truly wrecked and couldn’t find the energy to give his words an edge.

“You should ask them out,” Dabi continued, ignoring the failed attempts at banter. “Bring ‘em over or some shit. Maybe then if I lock down that blonde piece of ass I’ve been talking to, we’ll both have much more interesting things to go down on.”

“Your whore ass is the one always jumping me, don’t act like it’s a fucking chore,” Tomura groaned as Dabi started licking at his cock again, pressing sloppy, half kisses on the tip as he jerked it in his fist.

“Not my fault I get bored sometimes,” he replied and closed his eyes as Tomura clenched particularly hard around Dabi’s relentless fingers. “But seriously, you should go for it. I’d kill to find out if you’re just as bad at eating pussy as you are sucking dick.”

“Fuck y—” Tomura started to say when Dabi reared up till they were chest to chest and their foreheads knocked together.

“I fucking will if you don’t shut up, creep, and I think it’d be so much better if you handed your fucking virginity to that pretty little partner bitch instead,” he said and stunned Tomura into silence when he licked into his mouth.

Dabi had kissed him before, but Tomura could count the number of occasions on one hand and almost all had been when his punk ass roommate was drunk as hell and in his feels about some tortured past. But Dabi’s eyes were bright and lucid now, blinking down at Tomura as he dragged their tongues together, flooding his mouth with the faint taste of cigarettes and jizz.

Their cocks brushed together too, the stimulation making Tomura whine into Dabi’s lips, who dropped a merciful hand down, taking them both in his fist and began pumping.

He didn’t stop as he pulled back, grinning down at Tomura like a fucking maniac—all shitty tattoos and silver piercings. The little barbels that stuck through Dabi’s nipples brushed against his own and made him moan at the cool metal and hot skin on his sensitive chest. Tomura was fucking sensitive everywhere, as Dabi had helped him discover, probably from a lifetime of being touched more by cheap sweatshirts than human hands.

“Now,” Dabi grunted as he thrust loosely against Tomura’s cock and his own fist before pulling away to settle back between his legs. “Shut up and cum down my throat—gotta give your virgin ass a refresher on mind shattering orgasms, so you know if that bitch is any good or not.”

Tomura’s tongue was halfway around a witty comeback when Dabi swallowed him to the hilt once again and started working his ass even harder. He really fucked hoped the neighbors were not home to hear him get his shit rocked at 2pm on a fucking Tuesday, cause Dabi might have been flunking out of his classes but he’d get a goddamn A plus for sucking dick.

The hand on his thigh, spreading him open, migrated to his hip so that Tomura could snap his legs shut hard around Dabi’s ring littered ears as he guided Tomura to grind down on his hand. The pressure in his gut built up exponentially higher now that Dabi wasn’t trying to hold him on the edge of climax. It took an embarrassingly short amount of time for him to acquiesce to Dabi’s request, as he tightened up in a full body clench before gripping Dabi’s hair and spilling rope after rope of hot, sticky release straight onto his roommate’s tongue.

Dabi, the fucking slut, made a show of swallowing every drop that spilled from Tomura’s abused cock, milking his prostate the whole time and only letting Tomura slip from his mouth when he was soft and finally spent.

The fingers in his ass remained though, still for the most part and slowly dipping in and out every so often. Tomura whimpered and clenched but was somewhat thankful for the remaining feeling of fullness.

“So, did you really mean all that?” Dabi asked with his signature smirk. “You really want your group project partner to cockwarm you and fuck your tight little ass?”

“Fuck off,” Tomura scowled and smacked Dabi hard across the face with an errant pillow.

Dabi yanked it from his grasp and tossed his ammunition onto the floor. “Hey, it’s not actually too bad in here,” he wiggled his fingers for emphasis which elicited an embarrassingly high gasp from Tomura, “give ‘em my number if you need a reference for asshole tightness.”

“Get the fuck out of my ass and my room,” Tomura kicked at Dabi’s back as it shook with laughter that lacked it’s usual jeering bite.

“What? Saving the cuddles for your new S/O?” he shot back, nuzzling his cum and spit covered face into Tomura’s neck.

With their chests pressed together, Tomura could feel the cooling, sticky remnants of Dabi’s own release coating his stomach. He squirmed against the sensation and pushed at the offending chest until his friend flopped down onto the scant space left between the mattress and the wall.

“Ew,” Tomura ran a finger through the mess Dabi had left smeared on him. “I’m taking a fucking shower.”

“God, finally!” Dabi exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and producing a cigarette from god knows where. He let the paper rest between his lips unlit. “I should have thought about getting you fucked out on the reg earlier, creep, if it’ll stop you smelling like ass.”

Tomura launched the discarded pillow which hit it’s mark with a dull thump.

“You better be fucking gone when I get back,” he hissed and stumbled naked, on shaking legs into the hall and to their shared bathroom.

Dabi’s cackling followed him until the door shut and the lock clicked behind him.

Tomura turned the water on quickly, letting steam cloud the mirror before he jumped under the spray. The only products on the shelves were Dabi’s for the most part with the exception of a store brand bar of soap and some 3 in one shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

Tomura knew he should clean himself more often, but his skin was so fucking raw all the time it hurt to do, so he mostly avoided it unless the smell got really unbearable—or Dabi was painting him in jizz whenever the opportunity presented itself.

He tried to get in and out as quickly as possible so he didn’t have the opportunity to think too hard about the admission his fuck buddy roommate had pulled from him mid blow job. Because if he did—in his post nut, clingy state—he’d most certainly imagine you were with him, tits pressed against his back and your soft, insistent tongue dipping past his lips, tasting like fruit gum and expensive cafe drinks instead of nicotine and cum.

And he really couldn’t handle that. Cause Dabi was right, he had something fucking bad for you and the thought of another rejection loomed large.

When he did towel himself off and shuffle, still naked back into his bedroom Dabi was nowhere to be seen. Tomura’s phone however, was left sitting right next to the jizz stain on his sheets. He frowned at the open balcony door where Dabi was no doubt smoking and snatched the device before tumbling onto the pillows.

He powered it on and scrolled through his notifs before one caught his eyes. You and Dabi were really the only people that ever texted him, but the contact name above this one had changed.

bitch (endearing)

— hey, starting an impromptu round of Smash soon if you’re interested <3

The stupid text heart made his chest throb and he stared at Dabi’s new nickname for you, not even noticing the fucking grin that tugged at his cheeks.

He bit his lip to stop the twitching when it pulled too hard at the chapped skin and scrambled for his clothes before shooting a quick confirmation text back. Tomura opted for his only pair of black jeans this time instead of sweats and the least stained sweatshirt he owned.

Dabi peaked around the corner when he heard the clink of Tomura’s keys. The bastard was smoking in just a pair of underwear that left half his ass on display for all the whole fucking street. He smirked, quirking his eyebrows and bringing his hands up to slip his index finger through the circle he made on the other hand in a silent, vulgar gesture.

“Screw off,” Tomura shouted over his shoulder and made for the door.

“Wrap it before you tap it, bro!” Dabi called after him, cut off by the subsequent slamming.

Tomura took the stairs two at a time, pulling out his phone and tucking the hood over his damp hair, this time to hide the growing smile playing at his lips.

[guu]

Got tagged by Julia @wuggen in this big ol Answer These Questions chain letter thingimajig. Supposed to tag 25 people (wowie this one feels like it was taken straight from the old myspace ones)

Last...

Beverage: Full Thottle bc energy drinks have me in a chokehold to function

Phone call: uhhh either a doordash customer or my bff gabs

Text message: talkin with my mom abt her surgery tomorrow

Song you listened to: idk man i’m on a vaporwave mix rn

Time you cried: i don’t cry much anymore so uhhh... maybe... a month ago?

Have you ever...

Dated someone twice: yeah ;;- _-)

Kissed someone and regretted it: when i was 16 yeah

Lost someone special: In the sense of fucked up a good relationship: yes

in the sense of losing contact: soo many

in the sense of death: my grandma

Been depressed: bro since i was 11

Been drunk and threw up: oh yeah. hasn’t happened in years tho

Last year, have you...

Made a new friend: Ya!

Fallen out of love: Nope

Laughed until you cried: I don’t think so but mb. memory shit.

Found out who your true friends are: I mean, I guess. too bad none of them are here irl.

Found out someone was talking about you: No bc I’m 30

General

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?: I only have ppl added i kno irl bc i never use fb.

List 3 favorite colors: This hasn’t changed in like 15 yrs

pink, green, black

Firsts

First surgery: Still none

First piercing: I got my ear pierced at Claire’s when I was like. 6. so yeah that got infected Fast.

First best friend: I never had a true best friend till 7th grade, so my first is still my best friend in the whole world, Gabs.

First sport you joined: I was on the tennis team in middle school

First vacation: My family has never been rich. soo.

The time they took us along to Dodge City for a motorcycle rally back when they were bikers. that was fun. there was blood outside one of the rooms at the Best Western and i got a harmonica there.

First pair of trainers: Yeah I’m with Julia wth does this mean, I wouldn’t have guessed shoes if she didn’t say so. Licherally don’t remeber

Right now

Eating: Nothing atm, might break into some kettle corn soon

Drinking: Still the. Full Throttle.

I’m about to: get some more work done on Jewel Thieves and prolly go back out and play more Tales of Symphonia

Your future

Want kids: Got two, don’t want more.

Get married:Man i don’t know and i don’t care. if i do get married to anyone it’ll be for like, marriage benefits?

Career: I want a show of one my comics. But anyway as for ‘career’, character designer seems to be my best shot with what i Want to Do.

Which is better

Lips or eyes: yeah i think this is rly where u can see teens made these old things. both are good? people all definitely have both.

Hugs or kisses: i am so starved for friend hugs.

Shorter or taller: I don’t actually care much, it’s hard to be shorter than me, but taller is ideal cause then they could get stuff off high shelves and i go low and in small places. ideal dynamics.

Older or younger: As long as they’re old enough to drink, either is chill. probably older tho. Or a few yrs younger.

Romantic or spontaneous: Can we not have both????? What's the distinction here??? (leaving ur answer Julia cause I agree)

Nice stomach or nice arms: Big tummy... but i am a slut for a man with big strong arms

Sensitive or loud: I feel like these are not mutually exclusive? I’m sensitive and loud about it. (well. some of us are. i don’t feel much strongly)

Hook-up or relationship: Meh, either. I’m not the best with hook-ups but I might go for one if presented it.

Trouble maker or hesitant: Troublemaker within reason. I need someone who can make decisions for me so hesitant is a bit...

Have you ever...

Kissed a stranger: Yeah

Drank hard liquor: Yeah but I can’t do it anymore. Gives me heartburn.

Lost glasses/contacts: Used to lose or break my glasses all the time.

Sex on first date: Yea

Broke someone’s heart: Unfortunately u_u

Been arrested: I’ve been in handcuffs but that’s it.

Turned someone down: Hmm... yeah actually I think. I usually give just abt anyone a shot but there was that weird brony guy who was a huge misogynist.

Cried when someone died: Sorta. I didn’t know how to feel when gradma or grandpa died but I cried for my mom when they both passed.

Oh and I guess after the initial celebration of “the dead one”‘s passing, and realizing him being gone didn’t help how I felt I cried.

Do you believe in...

Yourself: Considering I’ve been let down so much I’d often have to say “if ya want somethin’ done right-” yeah

Miracles: No, but I want to.

Love at first sight: Used to. Romance is weird for us these days.

Heaven: No

Santa Claus: Okay uh, bro????

Kiss on the first date: Yeah man just go for it if it’s right for the both of ya.

Angels: Ok I know I said i don’t believe in heaven (or hell) but I’m on the fence with angels.

ok im not tagging 25 but let’s see. (as usual, only do if ya wanna ofc!)

@chocolatechippi , @babylonbirdmeat , @lilstinky , @goodvibesdog , @mood2you , @nonbinaryjew , @e-102 , @cringezskull430 , @snailbutch ,

@minmos , @3000s , @sablesablesablesable

[recurring-polynya]

What comparisons can be made between renruki and Ichiruki? I often wondered about this.

This is such a hot button issue that as soon as I received this (perfectly polite) ask, my body tensed up and my brain went Am I being trolled?

It’s honestly a shame that there is so much bad blood behind this, because it is, in fact, a very interesting thing to talk about, and I am going to attempt to do so in good faith, because I love thinking about this kind of thing. Even though I am very openly a Renruki shipper, I love all three of these characters very much, and I think that Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship is very important! I am doing my best to be neutral, although I have not read very much Ichiruki fanfic/meta, so please give me a benefit of a doubt. Obviously, I can’t stop anyone from reblogging this and putting their own comments on it, but I have no interest in getting in debates over it, so don’t be surprised if I don’t engage.

This is both long, and I am sure some people don’t care, so I’m gonna put the rest under a cut. I have tried to hard to write this in a way that will not make anyone mad, but if you think it will make you mad, please give yourself the gift of not clicking on it.

So, what is the same between Ichigo and Renji? Lots, actually. Physically, they are both tall, strong, and have ridiculously colored spiky hair. They are outwardly grumpy, but secretly have soft, gooey centers. Neither one of them is dumb, but they are both dumbasses. They are protectors: they would rather take any amount of pain or damage onto themselves than see a loved one hurt. Their friends are everything to them, and that goes triple for Rukia.

How are they different, then? There are three major bullets:

- Ichigo is alive. Renji is dead. Perhaps this is a little flip, but Renji belongs to same world that Rukia does, and Ichigo does not. This is not a value judgment, it is just a fact: If Rukia ends up with Renji, she stays where she is. If she ends up with Ichigo, either Rukia or Ichigo have to make a huge change. I will get back to this.

- Youth vs. Experience. Ichigo is a 15-year old boy, as we are told about 1000 times. There is some mystery over how old Rukia and Renji are, but they have graduated from secondary education and are currently employed. I think it’s safe to assume that they are roughly close in age to each other, but I think Rukia may perceive Renji as seeming older than herself-- he graduated from school, and she didn’t; he’s on his third squad transfer, whereas she’s hasn’t budged from her initial, entry-level job, and he’s now middle management. However, the arc of the story we don’t get to see, is that over the timeskips, Rukia not only catches up to, but surpasses him. Also, not for nothing, but I think that in the same way Rukia is immediately drawn to Ichigo because of his resemblance to Kaien, I think she is also drawn to him for his resemblance to Young Renji-- a grumpy, prickly young man, leaking self-doubt from every pore, whom she is more able to be generous towards through the lens of age and experience. (And I think this comparison could support either ship)

- Ichigo is the protagonist. Rules don’t apply to him. Fate breaks on his sword. He represents the triumph of love or hard work or dreams or what have you over the cruel millstone of the world. Renji, on the other hand, is firmly bound to the rules of the world in which he inhabits. In fact, that is arguably the entire purpose of his character. Renji’s fights are often used to set the stakes of the conflict-- ah, Renji got mangled, this guy must be tough. In the Soul Society Arc, he is an antagonist because he is doing what he is supposed to. In the TYBW, Kubo literally throws the two of them in a pit to fight some asauchi just to make the point that Renji is a shinigami and Ichigo is something else.

Let’s jump over to Rukia for a moment. Rukia is a great character, one of my favorite characters in any media. Rukia contains multitudes. She is tough and strong, but often melancholy. She can be beautiful and elegant, but she also lies and breaks rules and tried to put Kon in a dead cat once. Emotionally, she likes to present a cool front, but she has a big, loving heart, and she feels deeply. As a character, all of this makes her very easy to project onto, which is why I think so many people OTP her with someone, no matter who.Some people choose to try to make her into one of these things or another, and some people try to keep her as the full bundle of contradictions that she is.

There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There is no romantic content in canon Bleach. There are many, many scenes that can be interpreted romantically, but no one goes on a date, no one kisses. Ichigo gazes longingly into the eyes of all his friends, it’s just a thing he does. Orihime does explicitly proclaim at one point that she loves Rukia, although I suspect that in the original Japanese, it’s the word for “friendship love” and not the very-rarely-used “romantic love.” I have seen a scene-for-scene comparison of IchiHime “romantic moments” only it’s Chad and Uryuu (which I choose to believe supports IshiChad, rather than negates IchiHime, but we may all choose for ourselves!) My point is that shipping in Bleach is a DIY craft, which, when we’re all having a good time, is what makes it so fun.

So, bringing all of this together, given that Ichigo and Renji are fairly similar characters, why are the ships so different, and what makes one appeal to some people and be abhorrent to someone else?

I think about romance stories a lot. I actually took a class on romance novels in college and I just really like to think about the mechanics of stories. In the truest sense of the word, “romance” is about extremes-- about sailing the high seas and wearing ostentatious shirts and shouting off a cliff in a rainstorm. When we talk about romance as a genre, the characters tend to behave in a way that we would not prefer our actual romantic partners do, but the over-the-top nature of it makes us swoon and our hearts drop -- except when it doesn’t. What is heart-breakingly romantic to some people can be a huge turn-off to others. The biggest fight my husband and I have ever had was over a kdrama. The male lead was hiding his identity from the female lead in order to help her, and I found it all to be deeply, deeply romantic, and my husband turned to me and said “He is being dishonest with her and I think it’s morally wrong” and I almost died.

So, let’s break down some of the themes of the two ships, which I think gets at the meat of what you were asking. Now, like I said, shipping is very participatory, and anyone may have their own ideas of how these relationships would be, and I am a big fan of “a great writer can get away with anything”, but in broad strokes, I think that these are the themes of the two ships:

IchiRuki:

Love conquers all/ Love is enough to overcome differences of class, age, lifestyle, geography, etc.

Instant connections/Love at first sight

Love is a force of the universe that cannot be denied or defeated

Young love

Grand gestures

Your partner changes you (in a positive way)/You effect change in your partner

Your partner is the center of your world

Your partner is the one person who can get through to you/You are the one person who can get through to your partner

Banter

Dumbassery

RenRuki:

Love takes work

Best friends to lovers

Second chances/Broken things can be repaired

Love is a choice

You improve with age

Shared experiences build love

Pining

Working together with your partner to create a mutually satisfying life together

Your partner enriches your world, but your independence is maintained

Banter

Dumbassery

There is also some degree of character interpretation at work, too-- there seems to be a huge degree of disagreement between fans as to whether:

a) Ichigo enjoys his normal, human life, and even though he do anything to protect what he loves, he would prefer to live a human existence with his human friends and family. He credits Rukia will helping him realize his strength and powers.

b) Ichigo is unsatisfied with his human life and that meeting Rukia opened the doorway to a life of excitement and adventure, on top of being given the strength to protect his loved ones.

As far as Ichigo pairings go, I think that most IchiHime people fall in category (a) and most IchiRuki (and GrimmIchi) shippers fall in (b). In both cases, peoples’ ships align with their view of what makes Ichigo happy. Most IchiRuki content I have seen  seems to feature Ichigo moving to Soul Society, rather than Rukia moving to Karakura. Rukia pretty explicitly indicates at the end of the Soul Society Arc that she wants to stay in Soul Society, plus she’s got a pretty established life there. Contrast that to the story of Isshin and Masaki-- Isshin seems pretty flippant and disaffected about his life in Soul Society; it doesn’t seem like it was a particularly hard choice for him to give up being a shinigami. Also, it’s pretty clear that what Isshin did was illegal, and I’m not sure there would be an easy way for Rukia to just say “WELP, I’m off to live as a human, smell you jerks later.”

To try to wrap things up, I think the actual dynamics of an IchiRuki or RenRuki relationship would be very similar, actually. They would banter a lot and dive headfirst into danger and support each other no matter what. Byakuya would treat either guy with the vaguest, most grudging amount of respect. The primary perpetual, unresolved argument between Rukia and Ichigo would be “The Living World is dumb/Soul Society is dumb”, whereas with Rukia and Renji, it would be “Squad 6 is dumb/Squad 13 is dumb wait no I didn’t mean that Captain Ukitake is an angel.”

Personally, I headcanon Renji as being more able than Ichigo to step back and be the support person in the relationship (see that bullet about Ichigo being the protag), so I think that RenRuki could manage to run a functional household, whereas Ichigo and Rukia would just go on adventures until they got arrested for tax evasion.

*For the record, I am very pro-IchiRenRuki, except that they would be even worse at running a household. It’s just Renji trying to explain how a chore wheel works while Rukia and Ichigo walk out the door on him.

[francoiserenaldt]

then comes the touch (then comes the rush)

or five times desirée thinks about giving the boy with the stars in his eyes her heart and the one time she realizes that he’s had it the whole time. Takes place during the second semester of senior year. Inspired by @/yoonsgiggle’s ways to show affection. for day 3 of @it-lives-week.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: a pinch of angst toward the end because it was getting a bit sweet for my liking, too much pining for an established relationship, they’re both idiots but in different ways, toxic amount of fluff

1.

Snow litters the school grounds as she trudges through it. The school’s obsession with having no less than 5 pep rallies a quarter has her out of her bed and at school at 7 in the morning to oversee the preparations.

Luckily, she wouldn’t need to endure the torture alone. Everyone in cheer, band, swim, wrestling, and basketball all had to be there for a completely unnecessary rehearsal that only served to tire the performers and wear on everyone else’s patience.

There was one benefit to today’s assembly: Andy would be there this time.

This would be his first day back since homecoming. The first day they’d be back in school since they’d kissed in the gymnasium and the first day they’d get a chance to be together since everything went wrong. 

It had felt so weird to go from seeing him every day and getting close to him being holed up in a sterile room for most of the day. The days seemed to get emptier without him; even texts couldn’t fill the void his presence left.

Misattribution of arousal, her therapist had called it. 

While the implication that Desirée had confused herself was...offensive to say the least, it had at least made some sense. No way could she have been feeling low just because of some boy that she was talking to, right?

There was only one way to find out.

“Desirée!”

“Hey stranger. I’d ask how life’s treating you but…”

He barks out a laugh, gesturing to his crutches. “Yeah, I’ve been better. And you? How have things been?”

“You know, I…” She trails off.

Before she can even think about finishing her sentence, his hand is on her arm. The touch sends a rush of warmth through her body and she thanks the Lord that she opted for multiple layers today.

He’s been back all of two hours, which means she should chill, right?

Her heart doesn’t seem to get the memo. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.” 

It’s a complete lie, of course, and definitely not what he asked. She couldn’t be further from okay when his totally normal and platonic comforting gesture is awakening things she thought she’d buried and telling her that it’s very likely that she hadn’t misattributed a damn thing, which would be great except for the fact that she’s not sure if he can say the same.

(And despite the rational part of her brain yelling at her, she wants him to say the same.)

(She’s so screwed.)

2.

A few weeks pass after the encounter in the hallway and they find themselves back in the town square after school. They walk, or rather she walks and he limps, into the town park and find a park bench.

She quickly learns that practice had been a complete disaster; apparently being benched and injured still didn’t save Andy from microaggressions. It was interesting that they chose to focus on him when their attitudes weren’t saving them from an abysmal win-loss record, even after the strong start of the season. 

In any case, he was unhappy and that couldn’t stand. 

When they finally located a park bench, Andy raised an eyebrow when she didn’t sit next to him. “What are you doing?”

“Lean back.”

There’s an unmistakable déjà vu that overcomes her when her hands find their way to his shoulders.

(“Your…very toned shoulders look tense.”)

(“My very toned shoulders would love a shoulder rub.”)

His head tilts back after a minute or so–she must be doing it right this time–and...now they’re looking at each other.

A sharp chill crawls up her spine and she nearly shudders under the intensity of it. It shouldn’t be this hard to look away

There’s no telling how long it’s been or if her hands are even moving anymore.

Right. Shoulder rub.

She tears her gaze from his and puts her all into obliterating the tension in his shoulders. She vaguely notes his head going back to its original position.

“Hey.”

She nearly swallows her tongue with the force she uses to gulp any nervousness down. “Hey.”

“You good?”

“That’s my line,” she smiles gently. This is much better, the banter and the mutual flirting she’s used to. She doesn’t bother lingering on the concern in his voice. “I’m supposed to be helping you right now.”

“We can help each other,” he counters smoothly. “And you were going a little hard there.”

“Oh, sorry–”

“Don’t be. Felt good.” He tilts his head back again and grins when he finds her eyes again. “Just wanted to see where your head’s at.”

“My head is doing great, thanks. Spectacularly, in fact.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“So are you all good or…”

He clears his throat. “Yeah, I’m set. Thanks.”

Her heartbeat still thunders a mile a minute in her ears as she breathes out, “Any time.”

She reluctantly slides her hands off of his shoulders and moves –a little too quickly– to sit next to him. His arm finds its way onto her shoulders and she relaxes instantly, resting her cheek on top of his head, and she briefly imagines being able to fall asleep like this: with his arms around her shoulders, or even her waist, and his warm cheek resting on the column of her neck.

She erases the thought immediately and glances at him, finding him deep in thought as well. 

A light nudge brings him back to her and she pops the question: “Where did you go?”

He chuckles, his warm breath hitting her neck and rendering her breathless yet again. This getting flustered business is the worst. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“How about the beginning?”

The comment only yields her a huff. “You’re so mean to me, you know that?”

“Yeah, right. Unfortunately for you, there’s no pool nearby to push me into this time.”

“Fountain’s gotta be close enough, right?” His arms move faster than lightning, sliding under her knees and around her waist before she could catch her breath.

“Andy Kang, don’t you dare!” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The good news, she finds, is that she did not get soaked in gross fountain water and there’s no way he’s not into her. A net win, you would think.

The tradeoff for that -she can never just have nice things- is that she was into him in September. Knew she liked him in October. Now that it’s February, she maybe even l-

Oh no.

3.

It’s not a big deal when it happens.

She’s just left a student council meeting and, if memory serves, she has a two minute window to leave the premises before one of her teachers needs help or Lucas suggests another membership drive proposal for next month’s meeting.

She’s flying down the second set of stairs –she’s down to a minute now– when she sees him.

He’s freshly showered –practice must have ran late again– and changed, his damp black hair pushed back from his face. He’s hauling ass too for some reason, barely even looking up from his phone. Maybe he won’t even see her if she runs fast enough and she can text him later–

Sure enough, he glances up and grins brilliantly when he sees her. It’s only natural that she returns it. 

She closes the few feet separating them and he’s still got that sappy grin on his face when she stands next to him.

“How was practice?”

“Boring as always. Student council?”

She gives him a look. Why they even bother with words anymore is beyond her.

“Heh, heard ya loud and clear. Wanna get out of here?” He extends his hand in her direction. She feels the tip of his middle finger brush against her knuckles and her heart starts beating ridiculously fast.

She takes it in hers, a little too eagerly in hindsight, and threads her manicured fingers into his. “Gladly.”

She’ll overthink it for hours after the fact, but in the moment she just enjoys walking out of school with the boy she really, really likes. 

(If she more than likes him, then he doesn’t need to know that.)

4.

The school is weirdly energized today; students rush about, talking about weekend plans and that ridiculously hard test and other things that should not be repeated. (High school boys are gross.) Deadlines, extracurriculars, and the general dumpster fire that is life had all but killed the fight of the senior class, but not today.

Today, of course, is the first day of spring break. 

The sky seems to know it’s spring break too; the near constant drizzle of rain has let up for the day and the sun tentatively peeks its head out from a slowly widening gap of clouds, adding some long overdue warmth to the afternoon air.

It doesn’t compare to the smile on his face when their eyes meet.

“Desirée!” He calls out, jogging to envelope her in a hug.

Hugging definitely isn’t a new thing for them–hell, she’s easily hugged everyone in the group at least three times by now–but the way his head makes a home in the space between her neck and shoulder feels…intimate. Cozy, even. It’s far too comforting considering that she just saw him yesterday and they’re in the middle of the hallway (she’s definitely going to hear about this later) but she can’t bring herself to pull away. Not yet. 

He ends up being the one to break it, pulling away just enough to look up at her. “Hi.”

“Hi. Good day so far?”

“Better now.” He loops an arm in hers. “Wanna get lunch?”

“As long as you’re paying.”

5.

“Take a break.”

They’re in her living room -her parents decided to come home for once and no amount of brownie points gets you ‘boys in the bedroom’ privileges- on the couch. She’s supposed to be studying for her government test, a task that Andy seems adamant on impeding her from. 

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I asked you to.” The statement only produces a snort from her, and he nudges her lightly on the shoulder. “Pleeeeease? I’m bored.”

“Apologies, your Majesty King Kang, but I’m afraid I’ve misplaced my jester hat today.” She pouts in mock guilt before scoffing. “In the meantime, my government test isn’t going to ace itself.”

“Please, you could probably do this in your sleep.”

“And until I can definitely do this in my sleep, I have to keep going.”

She turns her body fully away from him for a few minutes and she finds her rhythm fairly quickly. As her brush pen draws the title of the next card, she allows herself a peek and Jesus Christ, is he pouting?

It’s childish. 

It’s completely immature. 

It’s...working?

Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

She shoves her flashcards into their corresponding case and slides them under the coffee table, huffing. “You are a terrible influence.”

“Yeah, but I’m a terrible influence that has your full and undivided attention.” He pecks her on the nose and grins at her unamused glare, “Now, what do you say we do something fun?”

+1

It’s the final day of high school.

Today should be a happy day; after all, staying goodbye to early morning classes and popularity contests is what she’s been dreaming of since the day she got there. 

There was just one problem: Andy wouldn’t be coming with her.

Despite the numerous hours of studying and makeup tests, there wasn’t enough time left in the school year to make up for his absences due to the medical leave he’d taken. Unless he somehow managed to pay the school for the amount of money he’d lost, he would have to sit for senior year all over again. 

He’d assured her that it wouldn’t be all bad; repeating the year gives him a chance to go out for basketball captain and Tom would be there with him, but there was no amount of silver linings that could change the fact that she’d been accepted into Cornell University and would be attending in the fall. 

Without him.

It’s not lost on her that she sounds absolutely pathetic. Most people could only dream of getting into an Ivy League university, let alone Cornell, and she’s considering giving all six years of relentless hard work and sleepless nights away for some boy just because she thinks she loves him. 

(They both know she won’t do it. She’s lost too much and has come too far.)

They’d put this off for too long as it is. 

“We’ve been apart before, right? We can do it again.”

“I just got you back, Andy. How am I supposed to be okay with losing you?”

“You won’t lose me.”

“How do you know that?”

“You won’t lose me because I love you, Desirée,” he reaches up to take her face into his hands, “That’s how.” 

Her eyebrows furrow, as if she’s confused. The idea breaks his heart. “You love me?”

“Of course I do.”

“I’m such an idiot.” She pulls away, shutting her eyes and shaking her head. “This whole time I’ve been trying to pace myself and…I really screwed things up, didn’t I?” 

“What are you talking about?”

“I love you, too. I didn’t want you to know until I knew you felt the same.”

“Why?”

“I’ve lost too many people as it is. If I lost you, I…” She purses her lips and looks away. “I couldn’t handle it.”

There’s no escaping the way that his lips feel on hers or the shiver that travels up her spine and honestly? She doesn’t want to. 

When he speaks again, their foreheads are pressed together–she’s practically bent over at this point and can’t bring herself to care–and his hands are still holding her face as if he thinks she’ll slip away. “You will never lose me, you hear me? There is nothing that you could do that’ll change that.”

She wants to believe him, wants to believe that he’s not making a promise that he can’t keep, so she does.

She knows she’ll kick herself for waiting this long when she gets home, but at that moment she enjoys walking out of her high school for the last time with the boy she loves.

(If he knows it too, that’s even better.)

[notebooknebula]

Randy Lawrence, The Real Estate Preacher, Joins Jay Conner LIVE!

https://www.jayconner.com/randy-lawrence-the-real-estate-preacher-joins-jay-conner-live/

Jay Conner is joined by The Real Estate Preacher, Randy Lawrence.

“I’ve seen and done it all in real estate. Now I want to help you achieve the success I’ve enjoyed.” – Randy Lawrence

Prosperity Capital Partners lives its mission of serving others by providing Investors with financial freedom: Double-digit returns with zero capital loss and excellent tax benefits to our private investors for 17 years via asset-backed real estate investments.

Families with high-quality, affordable homes: Offering updated affordable housing enhancing the quality of life of working American families who live in our apartments.

https://pcpre.net/ https://therealestatepreacher.com/

Real Estate Cashflow Conference:

https://www.jayconner.com/learnrealestate/

Free Webinar:

http://bit.ly/jaymoneypodcast

Jay Conner is a proven real estate investment leader. Without using his own money or credit, Jay maximizes creative methods to buy and sell properties with profits averaging $64,000 per deal.

#RealEstate #PrivateMoney #FlipYourHouse

————————————————————

Jay Conner (00:02):

Well, hello and welcome to another episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner! I’m Jay Conner, the Private Money Authority, also the host of the show. And I wanna welcome you whether you’re a brand new or you’ve been following the show for some time. My lands! We’ve launched back in June, 2018, tracking fast over 300,000 downloads. Thanks to you. And I do need your help. If you find this episode to be valuable, and you can use this information in your real estate investing business, then please help me out. Let’s share this information, like share, subscribe, write, and review whether you are on iTunes or watching on YouTube or any of our other platforms. Well, here on the show, we talk all things that relate to real estate investing. We talk about how to find deals. We talk about how to fund the deals without relying on local banks, mortgage companies, or even hard money lenders.

Jay Conner (01:11):

We talk about how to sell houses, rehab houses, and how to automate your business to where you’re actually running it. And it’s not running you. But as I mentioned, I’m known as the private money authority. I became an expert on raising private money and I’m not talking about doing business with brokers. I’m talking about actually attracting hundreds of thousands and in the millions of dollars in funding, that’s got nothing to do with your credit, your verification of income, or actually even the number of deals that you’ve done. If you’re interested in getting more funding for your deals to where you never miss out on a deal because you didn’t have the money, I’ve got a free gift for you. Yes, I have got a new monthly membership that I launched that I’m going to show you how to get free access to the membership. It’s called The Private Money Academy, and on the, or in the membership twice a month, I am live on Zoom with coaching for all of the Academy members.

Jay Conner (02:11):

We’re tracking fast to a thousand members. Right now, we got about 150 members. And as a matter of fact, the next live Zoom coaching call is within the next week. So I’m going to tell you how to get in, you get the live coaching. We also put someone, one of the members in the hot seat where we analyze your business, figure out your challenges and fix your challenges to where you’re able to take your business to the next level. And we also have new content and training in the membership every month on finding, flipping, automating funding, selling, et cetera. We also cover all in the membership, all types of real estate deals. We cover single family houses, commercial land, self storage, and you name it. We got it covered. So here’s how you can take advantage of checking it out for free. Go to www.jayconner.com/trial.

Jay Conner (03:10):

Again, that’s JayConner.com/Trial. Look forward to having you live on the membership Zoom conference calls. Well now in addition to that, if you’ve been tuning in for any time, you know that here at Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner, I have amazing experts. And in fact, the guests that I have on today’s show is a good friend of mine and is a fellow member of a very top and mastermind group where we have about 120 real estate investors from all across the nation. We get together about four times a year and help each other out on our businesses. Well, let me tell you about my friend. First of all, he’s an entrepreneur with over as of today, 24 years of experience, and he has four very successful real estate investment companies.

Jay Conner (04:08):

In addition to that, my friend and I have got the same, same heart, and we’ve got a lot in common. He’s a pastor and also a founder of multiple life-changing ministries. And as of this day in the last 15 years, he has impacted and then blessed impact over 40,000 people. He’s been seen on CBN, NBC, CTN and featured in the St. Petersburg times Tampa Tribune. And he’s known as the transformation expert. In addition to that, he’s experienced his own life transformations as well, overcoming the upbringing from a broken home and his life as a drug dealer to becoming a successful entrepreneur, pastor husband, and a father. In addition to that, his spiritual breakthroughs led him out of the economic collapse and the financial collapse of 2008. And man can, I not relate to that! Took him from bankruptcy to a real estate rehabbing business, generating a seven figure annual income, again, something else that he and I have in common.

Jay Conner (05:16):

Also he, and I’ve got another yet person. That’s a mutual friend and mentor back in 2013, he co-authored a book titled Dare To Succeed with Jack Canfield, who is the co-creator of Chicken Soup For The Soul detailing in this book his personal and professional rise from the ashes, his mentors and his coaches include world renowned business leaders, authors, international speakers, such as Les Brown and also John C. Maxwell. He also is an active member contributed to the same mastermind group that he and I are a member of. Comprise, as I mentioned of nation’s elite real estate investors, beyond that he passionately believes in God’s promise of abundance and freedom, and he uses his unique strategies to help transform lives like yours by unlocking spiritual, mental, and tactical financial potential through real estate investing. He also has a very popular podcast titled The Real Estate Preacher on the podcast. He shares his successes and his failures along with his proven strategies and techniques that help build systems that work he’s proven them to work. And he does this so others like you can achieve their own seven figure incomes and their own abundance, just like him. Welcome to the show. My friend, Randy Lawrence also known as the Robo State Preacher.

Randy Lawrence (06:47):

Awesome! My brother. Good to see ya.

Jay Conner (06:49):

Good to see you too, man! Would you reach around please? And like scoop up a little energy and bring to the show to grab a little more

Randy Lawrence (06:59):

After that intro I’m ready to jump up and run around the building Man! Praise the Lord!

Jay Conner (07:04):

Randy, you’ve got quite the story, quite the backstory at one time you were a drug dealer you were bankrupt. You were like, you know, you were like slap dab in one time. And the financial collapse of 2008.

Randy Lawrence (07:19):

Yup!

Jay Conner (07:19):

So, before we get into those pieces of your story how about give us your backstory and little an overview as to.

Randy Lawrence (07:29):

Yeah

Jay Conner (07:30):

Where you’ve been in, what you went through to get you where you are now

Randy Lawrence (07:34):

For sure, man. Well, so my background, I come from, you know, a broken home parents divorced it, you know, four or five years old that kind of led to, by the time I’m in middle school, high school doing my own thing, kind of wayward with the wrong crowd, wrong group, doing the wrong things and just, you know, partying and all like that. Went on through college, got my degree in finance, minor in economics, went into the stock brokerage business right after that really kind of continued on with that same kind of money and partying lifestyle and all. And it was probably about 27 that I, you know, had had success in, in that respect, but really wasn’t fulfilled. And it was at that time that I really kind of found through reading a book Norm Miller chairman of Interstate Batteries, where it outlined about faith in God.

Randy Lawrence (08:25):

I put my trust in Christ. It really just complete 180 from my life, Got involved in the church locally and then got met my wife there. We got married and then, you know, God called me in the Ministry as well. And so I’m running a money management company that I started and then also ministering there at the church and probably around about 2003, God, just really, Has showed the power of the difference of what real estate can do versus, you know, stocks, bonds, option traditional money management. So really started focus on that. And you know, that was really the beginning of where things took off for us. We sold our money management practice in 2006 and moved out North of Tampa to start a church. And then of course that’s where we were having gone through that economic collapse that happened here in Florida.

Randy Lawrence (09:17):

And it was just quite the incredible journey because I was simultaneously pastoring the church, also running the real estate business and navigating the economic collapse that the whole country went through. So really kind of an incredible time at that moment in time.

Jay Conner (09:34):

Did you say you met your wife at church?

Randy Lawrence (09:36):

I did. You know, it’s funny. My dad always used to ride me now again, he was in North Carolina, we’d see each other, maybe once a year, talk on the phone once a week, I’d be going to the bar at happy hour after work, you know, and talk to him on the weekend. And he’s like, what’d you doing? That’s all, I’m going out with some friends at a ball game. And he’s like, man, you should go to church. I’m like go to church? He’s like, well that’s where you going to meet you a right girl. And I’m like, yeah, that’s not the kind of right girl. I want to meet, but he was right. You know? And so yeah, I was blessed to meet my beautiful wife, Sarah Jo there. And we’ve been married now 21 years coming up in October.

Jay Conner (10:16):

Did you say her name is Sarah Jo?

Randy Lawrence (10:18):

Sarah Jo? Yeah. She’s.

Jay Conner (10:20):

We got two things in common, We both met our wives or our to be wives At church.

Randy Lawrence (10:25):

Yeah.

Randy Lawrence (10:25):

And both of them have good Southern devil names. Mine’s Carol Joy,

Randy Lawrence (10:32):

Okay.

Jay Conner (10:32):

And yours is Sarah Jo, you want to know something else we got in common?

Randy Lawrence (10:36):

ah.

Jay Conner (10:36):

So in your bio in 2013, you coauthored a book with Jack Canfield named Dare To Succeed.

Randy Lawrence (10:44):

yup!

Jay Conner (10:44):

Well guess what? Two years later in 2015, I got certified as a Jack Canfield trainer by Jack Canfield.

Randy Lawrence (10:53):

Awesome. Yeah, it’s a, it’s amazing how many things, you know, it’s like the commonalities that the Lord, when you surround yourself with great people, it’s like you attract those similar qualities. And then here it is, you know, that we’ve been together through CG and the friendship there. And then now as we connect together with that further, you find all these backstories that line up with the identical things. That’s just pretty cool.

Jay Conner (11:22):

Well you know, I don’t know who came up with the idiotic idea, In my opinion, that opposites attract that’s stupid.

Randy Lawrence (11:29):

yeah.

Jay Conner (11:29):

I want to be around people. That’s like me. It’s like birds of the same feather flock together. Right?

Randy Lawrence (11:34):

For sure. Absolutely. And that’s, you know, we’re really, as you begin to have the synergies, the thinking is the same, the thinking that elevates one another and pushes each other to higher levels. That’s when I heard your intro about the monthly mentorship program, it’s like, man, that’s what people need to be a of because you know, you just, you come together with great thinking and then it inspires your thinking and then you see these actions that others are doing, or, you know, it’s just a win, win. It’s like the synergy of one plus one, it’s more like, you know, two times two equals four and then it just expansively grows, you know? And that’s the thing, man. So,

Jay Conner (12:15):

Yeah, exactly. So would you say, first of all, were you raised going to church or no?

Randy Lawrence (12:21):

I was not. You know, both my parents, you know, kind of by the time I was in middle school, I was kind of given ability to start making my own decisions and, you know, good parents, but this not focused on, you know, religion or, and again, as a broken home you know, they were just trying to do the best they could do to do their thing. And, you know, so that left me to my own accord and left them on accord. I probably connected together with the wrong group and ran with the wrong crowd and all that kind of stuff.

Jay Conner (12:53):

So I want to speak for a moment to people listening in or viewing whichever platform they’re viewing as someone or listening. My best guess is the majority of people out there like you and me went through a time in their life. The majority, not all, but a lot of people went through a time in their life or an extended time in their life that was very dark. Right? And I went through my dark time. My dark time lasted from the time I was 21 years old until I was 24 years old. And it just progressively got darker and darker and darker. Here’s my question for you. Did you have a wake up call? If so, what was it?

Randy Lawrence (13:42):

Yeah.

Randy Lawrence (13:42):

And if you did, what was it?how did you get out of it?

Randy Lawrence (13:50):

Yeah, So I was, you know, in that period for me would probably been 13 through 27. So like 14 years kind of like a Joseph in the journey, the two kind of coming out of the pit and all like that. But it was really at 27. I was helping take care of my mom. She had gone through numerous health challenges with failed back surgeries and all like that. And I had gotten a DUI charge, you know, for driving home apparently intoxicated. And again, I’m like, no, you know, that’s not the truth, but really what it was for me at that moment was it was this wake up call that here I am, 27, I’m facing the possibility of losing my license for six months. And, you know, I worked at a brokerage firm in Tampa. I lived in Seminole there with my mom helping to take care of her.

Randy Lawrence (14:43):

There were these recoveries and health things she’s going through and it just hit me like, you know, good Lord, man. I’m nowhere near where I want to be in life, cause if I lose this thing, now I’ma have to ride my bike to the 711 and maybe get a job. There not knocking people to work at 711, but that was not my aspiration. And I’m like, what I’d aspired to become and to do and achieve is nowhere near the realities. And the truth of the matter is it’s because of where I’m at in my life and the choices. And so that began to be that process to me, to see it’s like, what I’ve been doing is not the right thing. And so in short order, I laid my hands on a book, another friend of mine and I we’d started in an automotive garage and in the we sold interstate batteries.

Randy Lawrence (15:33):

And so the interstate battery salesman dropped off a book called beyond the norm. And it was about Norm Miller and his journey. I thought it was a sales success book, but it was his journey on how he came to faith in Christ. And then they became the number one battery reseller in the world and went on to such great success. And when I read that book, I’m like, that’s it, he’s got a beautiful wife, he’s got success, he’s got fulfillment. He’s in, he’s found it all in Jesus. And I’m like, wow! And I’m like, you know, Lord, if that’s true, and this is real come into my life, come into my heart, show me the direction you want me to go. And it was just like wham! This giant Volkswagen that I’ve been carrying on my shoulder for 15 years was just released. And it was just an incredible thing. And I, I knew I didn’t know what exactly happened, but I knew something happened and that my life had been changed. I could just feel it at that moment,

Jay Conner (16:31):

If you would like to follow Randy Lawrence and his story, you can follow Randy at www.TheRealEstatePreacher.com So Randy what does your, so how’d you. So when did you start in real estate? How did you get into real estate and what is your business model look like today?

Randy Lawrence (16:52):

Yeah, so we started in 2003. I bought my first multifamily property with little small duplex in 99. And you know, just really loved real estate even while I was a stockbroker and a money manager, you know I just loved real estate. And the more I looked at it, I saw the power of the returns you could generate in real estate with a really a lower adjusted beta or better risk adjusted return than what we were getting with our stock portfolios. And so it was 2003. I mean, God just really helped me to see that’s the direction. And so we bought our first small apartment complex in 2003 and began buying more properties. Now in Florida, it was a real white hot market. So it was tough to get properties. My first mentors had a several thousand doors that they own in apartments.

Randy Lawrence (17:41):

And so that had always been our focus, but you know, we probably started in five and six rehabbing houses just cause there’s so much, you know, money that could be made in that arena. And so we started building that business and also, you know, owning the small multi-families and 2008 hit. We went through the decline here in Florida you know, thankfully it was a great retooling that helped me to just learn a lot through that process. And so we came out through that process where a lot of people just left real estate. We did a huge short sale business, helped hundreds of people. And then, you know, 2011, 12, 13 started rehabbing houses again. And then 15 started focused back on large multifamily. So now to this day, kind of fast forward, we have over a hundred million dollars in apartment complexes on our commercial multifamily side. We have probably three more complexes under contract. Now we’ll buy eight more complexes next year. It’s kind of a velocity approach that we use. And then we still on the residential side buy fix and sell about 70 houses a year.

Jay Conner (18:53):

Wow! That’s quite an operation for both single family and your commercial, what size operation do you have as far as employees that are with you full time and numbers size is your team?

Randy Lawrence (19:08):

Yeah. So our internal team here in the office, we’re based in Largo, Florida, which is kind of the Tampa Bay area. We have seven employees in our internal office team. And then we have right about 28 employees that are through our multifamily side, through our management partnership so that, you know, they’re, they’re not direct report to me, but they work for our company through our management operations. So with every property that we buy, cause on the apartment side, our complexes tend to be 75 units to 200 units is the range kind of the sweet spots, probably a hundred, 110 15. And so every one of those complexes, we always have a full time manager and a full time maintenance. And so with every complex we buy that adds two more people to the mix. And then we have a regional manager that oversees them. And then one of our internal asset managers that oversee them as well

Jay Conner (20:07):

On your apartment complex projects is your business model to search for distress properties that you can fix up and get the rents raised and then turn them for a profit or what’s your business model would like, are you staying in the deal long term or what?

Randy Lawrence (20:24):

Our focus typically is about a three year hold. We look for kind of the threefold, the Holy grail, if you will, that we’re looking for the, the property that has a, you know, original type condition. So we focus on workforce type housing. So that’s people making between 30 to 60 grand, you know, real C, C plus type property. These people are, you know, typically blue collar or lower end white collar workers, you know, just good quality working Americans. They need a good place to live. So that property typically built in the seventies, early eighties, original condition on the interiors. A lot of times, a little bit of deferred maintenance, you know, where they’ve owned it, but they just haven’t really fixed it up and kept it spruced up on the outside. They’re typically, you know, keeping the cashflow and then operational areas where we can improve efficiencies.

Randy Lawrence (21:15):

Cause we have a more corporate structure, you know, large scale discounts. So with that, we’re able to go in upgrade the units so that they’re for about $3,800. We’re able to make them like new two thousands, you know, paint the cabinets, new floor, new lighting and then bring the rent because if they’re renting at 800 and the market’s at nine, it makes sense. This place is a little tired. The place is not updated. So we’re able to update the units on the turn. So that keeps cashflow consistent. It keeps us to be, you know, positive out of the gate so that we’re not running a negative. And it also is much more secure because we’ve got positive cashflow from day one. So on a hundred unit property, it takes us probably about 18 months to cycle through the rent roll, renovate the units. The first 90 days though we renovate the exterior. So it gives it a fresh pop and looks nice. So, you know, you know, the first three months you pull up on the property, looks like a new place and we’re able to start methodically working through the rent roll to improve the interiors during that time as well. And then that prepares us to be done within 24 months and then operate it for another 12 months to really improve the the T 12 and prep it ready for sale.

Scott Paton (22:37):

I think we lost Jay for a minute there, Randy. So.

Randy Lawrence (22:42):

No problem. Well then, you know, so just kind of carrying forward with our business model on it. So typically those properties, you know, we’re buying them at 85, 90, 95% occupied, and we have people that invest with us in the complex. So, you know, we’re buying a, let’s say a $10 million complex, we get a seven and a half to $8 million loan. And then that additional 2 million comes in the form of our capital as well as other people investing with us. And you know, it’s a typically like that is a three year hold period based on the model that I just share.

Scott Paton (23:18):

Cool! So I have a question that’s of interest to me, and that is, is the, if I invest in your deal or your project, is it interest that comes back or interest plus a percentage of profits? Or how does that?

Randy Lawrence (23:33):

So how it works on the majority of our properties, we have a preferred return model where you’re getting a 12% preferred return. So you get 7% paid on cashflow. So that’s a quarterly check every quarter. And then you get another 5% appreciation that is then a preferred return so that you, for example, put in a hundred grand, you’re getting 7,000 a year paid quarterly and then another 5,000 a year that’s accruing as appreciation so that when the property sold in three years, you get the hundred grand back plus another 15,000. That’s the appreciation. And then meanwhile, you were paid 21,000 through the cashflow during that three year hold period. The interesting thing with apartments too, and this is one of the greatest elements to it because you’re an actual owner in the individual apartment, you get a K1.

Randy Lawrence (24:24):

And so instead of a 10 99, you get a K1. And on that K1 because of the depreciation, you’ll get you typically on a hundred thousand, about a 40,000 depreciation loss. So you actually got 7,000 of income, but your tax statement shows you lost 40 grand. So you don’t pay any tax on that 7,000. So it really is a highly favorable and tax efficient investment vehicle.

Scott Paton (24:48):

I don’t understand why anyone would buy stocks, just listening to you right now. But Jay has returned.

Randy Lawrence (24:54):

Awesome!

Scott Paton (24:54):

I’m going to step away and make room for him right now.

Randy Lawrence (24:58):

All right. Very good.

Randy Lawrence (24:59):

So I don’t know what happened, but poof! I’m going poof I’m back

Randy Lawrence (25:05):

Yeah.

Jay Conner (25:05):

So, You may have already answered this question, Randy, but one more chance, your favorite way to find your apartment deals and how many of you got the analyze to buy one?

Randy Lawrence (25:14):

Yeah, they’re very good questions. So really, you know, we network in any market. So like if you focus on a market that you want to be in, we want to be in high growth markets cause that’s where demographics and jobs are coming. So in that market, you’re going to have typically three to five people that are the majority of the brokers that sell the big projects. Right? And so we develop a relationship with those people. They know that we’re no BS shake on it, we get it done. And with that, we’ve developed a very clear track record and a confidence. So when a deal comes that’s like, I just got an email yesterday, guys like, Hey, we’ve got an amazing property that it’s off market. The sellers looking to want to sell it. We want to get your input on it. First we get that kind of first shot at stuff that other people aren’t going to get because of the relationships we’ve developed and the performance that we’ve done in executing, you know? And so that’s really the number one strategy that is yielded the results that we’ve seen. And then currently we own 11 complexes right now just over a thousand doors. And then we have three more complexes under contract right now. That’ll bring us right to about 1400.

Jay Conner (26:34):

Awesome. And how many deals you’ve got to analyze to buy one?

Randy Lawrence (26:37):

Oh yes. That’s the question right there. So it probably is anywhere from 30 to 40, a lot of times, you know, we’ve developed a system where I have a full time acquisitions person. We have a two 10X14 double spreadsheet and he’s just going through property after property, after property. And so on a weekly basis, kind of the crap that’s on the back and it migrates to the front. So now when you get to the front page, the top 5 to 10 are right there for me to look at. And then we say, okay, dive into this one, this one, this one. And that’s a process that we’ve refined and developed so that we’re able to go through that kind of ball on, because you got to shift through the chafe, define that, you know, nugget of gold and you know, and that’s really been the key.

Randy Lawrence (27:26):

And so I think a lot of times people looking at apartments, you know, they mistake well like, Oh, well I look at this one or look at that one. And it’s like, that’s really not how it works. You’ve gotta be willing to 1, be accurate and understanding the dynamics that go into it. And then 2 have the volume ability to be able to look at a lot of deals.

Jay Conner (27:45):

Excellent. Well, Randy has been such a pleasure to have you here on the show and folks to stay connected with Randy Lawrence, go on over to his website at www.TheRealEstatePreacher.com. God bless you, Randy. Thank you so much.

Randy Lawrence (28:04):

Thank you so much, brother. You have an awesome day. God bless.

Randy Lawrence (28:07):

You too. There you have it. Folks. This wraps up another episode in show of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I’m Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority wishing you all the best here’s to taking your real estate investing business to the next level. And I’ll see you on the next show!

[oneboxofmatches]

I hope it's okay to ask for a HP romantic and friend matchup from the golden trio era and possibly romantic for marauders (please don't feel like you have to do the marauders one too if it's too much. I definitely don't want to stress you).

My pronouns are she/her and my romantic preference would be for a guy. I'm 5'4 and my style usually lingers somewhere between feminine, preppy, and "basic". I do think it's important to put at least some level of effort into my appearance.

My HP house is Ravenclaw (second highest Slytherin) and my enneagram is 1w2 (with 3 as a very close second top number)

I'm a super hardworking and ambitious person (sometimes at the expense of my own mental health and wellness). It's important to me to be able to work towards my goals and be with someone who has goals of their own. I'd get frustrated by someone who never knows when to take things seriously. I have a tendency to stress myself out sometimes and often let my stress bottle up. Cleaning/organizing and baking always help me feel centered and reduce my stress when I feel like I'm freaking out a bit. I tend to also be a little bit of a control freak on occasion in everyday life.

I can be a bit reserved when it comes to meeting new people, but when I'm around my close friends and family, I'm more open and talkative. I don't feel the need to force conversation though and can enjoy time around people just by doing our own thing next to each other and relaxing in each other's company. My friends and family are really important to me and I always try to be reliable and there for them whenever they need support.

When it comes to hobbies, I enjoy reading, watching tv/movies, cross stitch, and shopping. I used to be on a dance drill team and have continued doing yoga to keep up my flexibility because it helps me feel healthy. My favorite genres in books, movies, tv shows, etc. are romance and mystery, but I especially love when something has a big plot twist or is really thought provoking so that I can discuss it with someone I know. I also tend to be a romantic. I'm not really an outdoorsy person though and don't enjoy things like camping and hiking a ton.

When it comes to my idea of a perfect date it would probably be something pretty classic like going out to a nice dinner. I do enjoy getting dressed up and doing something fancy. Though, I'd also enjoy something like going to a carnival or festival together and just enjoying each other's company for a day. The most important thing is just spending time and connecting with the person I care about. My love languages are quality time and physical touch. It's simple, but I think it's super sweet just walking down the street and holding hands with someone. I also think it's nice when someone is taller than me so I can lean my head on their arm or shoulder while we stand next to each other (this sounds cheesy haha).

Goodness this came out so long, but I hope it's okay. Thanks so much for doing this!

This was amazing and no problem at all, thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

You value hard work. Cedric is by no means a stranger to hard work. Getting paired together for a project is the most likely way you two realized just how much you can accomplish together.

While Cedric realizes the importance of his schooling and the high piles of work that come with it, he also recognizes that maintaining a balance between “work” and “play” is the secret to a healthy, manageable life. He admires your work ethic (and supports your goals 100%), but he’s also the first to advise taking a step back when the world starts asking too much of you.

It’s because Cedric has the utmost respect for you that he doesn’t just outright dismiss your outbursts that occur whenever he’s attempting to get you to relax for a moment. He makes sure you know that he finds both the work you’re doing as well as your mental health important, and all he wants to do is help you find that middle ground where you don’t have to sacrifice either one.

Learning that you already have ways to cope with stress (cleaning, organizing, baking) eases his mind, and he even uses this information to his benefit. He knows that suggesting one of these activities as an alternative to partaking in any stressful work environment you’ve found yourself in betters the chances of you taking a well-deserved break.

Aside from actual dates, it’s these little breaks where the two of you spend the most quality time together. In terms of conversation, things can range from talking lightly about your days, taking on a vulnerable tone for more personal topics, or even just a silence that sits comfortably between you while you work.

Also, it’s almost surprising how much Cedric loves watching mystery TV shows and movies with you. It’s not necessarily something he would’ve found himself doing otherwise, but he loves having someone to share the massive surprise that comes with a major plot twist. After the screen goes dark, you two can find yourselves discussing what you just watched for hours without growing bored.

As for the traditional dates, you can bet that Cedric is up for both dressing up for a nice restaurant or taking the more casual route by going to a carnival. The variety not only keeps your relationship interesting, but it proves that the location really doesn’t matter -- you enjoy yourselves and feel just as strongly for each other no matter what.

Overall, the mutual respect and dedication between you and Cedric create the ultimate power couple dynamic. Alone you can accomplish many things, but together the possibilities are endless. But at the end of a long day, it becomes clear that having each other is all that really matters.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

DRACO MALFOY

Don’t be fooled. Before this friendship was anywhere near friendly, you and Draco made up one of the most competitive duos Hogwarts has ever seen. Your high work ethic and his constant need to be recognized as a great wizard clashed, and Draco was found applying himself to his work like he never had before.

It probably took you two being forced to work together to realize you (surprise!!!) actually make a pretty good team.

The sudden burst of motivation Draco found while competing against you stays after you become friends, and you’re the one who teaches him how to use this newfound ethic more efficiently. He recognizes that you taking a break from your own work to give him these helpful pointers is a big deal, and though he doesn’t say it, he’s grateful.

Whenever he isn’t off trying to impress someone or make sure his name remains respected, he’s often in the library with you, working away. You don’t talk much, though the question “How are things?” serves as a solid conversation started for the times when the work you’re doing doesn’t need to be rushed.

You both come to find that you value the other’s opinion on many things. Both schoolwork and social matters are things you bring up with the other, and advice-giving (yes, Draco can give advice when he feels like it) becomes a common theme.

Support becomes a key part of your friendship. Draco makes sure you take care of yourself and you make sure he knows he’s more than just his last name. Rumors of his family’s involvement in certain affairs aren’t exactly rare, and while you don’t force him to open up, you make a point to remind him time after time that he has the power to choose his own destiny.

And when he does finally open up to you in private, your opinion of him doesn’t change in the slightest. You reassure him of this, explaining that whatever he needs, you’re there for him. You realize you can’t do much to change his situation, but you know that simply being a loyal friend through all this might be just what he needs.

Overall, you and Draco hold each other in very high regard, and though you bring different perspectives to the table, you realize you’re willing to help each other in any way you can.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Remus understands you find his friends annoying. He finds them annoying. But seeing you sit through one of their worst hyperactive, downright ridiculous episodes just so you could spend time with him while knowing you can get fed up with people who have a hard time taking anything seriously demonstrated that you were committed to your relationship and were willing to accommodate whoever he hung out with.

As someone who outworks over ¾ the school, Remus is a master at recognizing the early stages of burnout. Whenever he sees it in you, he’ll take on a softer tone and gently ask if you’d like to direct your attention elsewhere for a while and return to work at a later time.

You often work in the same room as each other, taking solace in the gentle quiet you two can find if you get lucky enough to find such a spot. While you both enjoy the peaceful, intimate conversations that usually come at the end of a long day, you are also content with saving that for later and using the time at hand to focus on schooling.

The complexity of your conversations (whether it be about the latest book you both read, a recent assignment from a shared class, or one of life’s mysteries) is much higher than that of the average couple. With the level of thought you two are already capable of, you challenge each other by exploring new ways of thinking together.

Remus can be quite the romantic when he wants to be. Respectful, yet simple gestures (such as opening a door for you) are a given, but he also loves little signs of affection such as holding your hand as you walk through Hogsmeade. He revels in the feeling of being close to you, and don’t be surprised if he gives your hand a gentle squeeze once in a while.

Overall, not only do you and Remus unlock new levels of thought and productivity, but you also have a pure, sweet love for each other that is timeless.

[akechicrimes]

Prompt 15 for ShuAke, please? (Your other answers are really really good, by the way.)

(aaaa THANK YOU yes of course!! also jsksjksjksjksjsj THIS PROMPT……. THANK YOU FOR THIS it was SO fun)

15. “Don’t tell me you’re fine, I can see the blood!”

akira has an adrenaline problem and is more reckless in sae’s casino that akechi expected. also akechi cares more about it than akechi expected.

***

The Thieves get overprotective of Joker in Sae’s casino, which is too bad, because it’s very big with many moving parts and it’s best for them to divide and conquer the place, which is how he explains it to them during a Thieves meeting that Akechi is not invited to. Also, when Joker splits them up into groups, Joker is sometimes paired up with only Crow.

The rest of the Thieves give each other unimpressed looks. “That’s… the opposite of reassuring,” Makoto says with a pained sigh.

“If anything happens, I’ll be fine. Plus, Futaba knows where I am at all times, and she can always reach me through the comms. I’ll say something if anything happens.”

Everyone gives each other such a significant look that Akira wonders if maybe the Thieves are having secret meetings that he isn’t invited to, either. But they don’t push him on it.

He asks Ryuji about it when everyone else has gone, Haru’s taken Morgana for the night, and it’s just the two of them in Akira’s attic. “We’re just… worried for you,” says Ryuji, scratching the back of his head. “The entire reason Akechi’s even here is to kill you, right? Guy’s a liar and probably a murderer and we don’t even know how dangerous he is. His Persona’s already crazy strong and Makoto thinks he’s got more tricks up his sleeve, too.”

Akira thought that through already. The probability is that Akechi can’t kill him until they’ve gotten to the end of the palace, and stolen Sae’s “heart” on the exact day that Akechi requested. On the other hand, it’s still just a probability. Maybe Akechi can kill him whenever he wants. “It’ll be fine,” says Akira.

“I mean, I know that,” says Ryuji, and sighs. “I guess… it’d be one thing if we just thought he might kill you the second we’re not lookin’, but I–I dunno. We were all worried ‘cause we thought that you kept pairing yourself up with Crow on purpose ‘cause you liked that he might…”

Ryuji trails away. “Uh, actually, never mind. Sounds dumb now that I say it aloud, honestly. Forget about it. See you tomorrow.”

“See you,” says Akira.

***

Akira Kurusu is a good boy, who lived in a good town, with a good family, with only good neighborhoods. There were never any bad neighborhoods to duck into and pick any fights with the wrong kind of people. There were never any bad bars to lose yourself in and make out with the wrong person. There were no criminals or thieves or so-called bad influences for a boy to get involved in.

Akira Kurusu is still a good boy. He lives in Tokyo now. He never finds himself so furious he can’t think, and he never heads to Mementos to punch shadows full of bullet holes, or (hopefully) get the shit kicked out of him. Akira Kurusu never scales the highest, tallest buildings in the Metaverse’s palaces, just to feel the ice-cold fear in his stomach hit him like a shot of vodka. Akira Kurusu never cuts it too close to the Palace deadline, just to feel the danger prickle on the back of his neck, or see the nervousness in his teammates’ eyes. He never makes an alliance with someone who doesn’t love him, just to wring some mutual benefit for the both of them like pulling blood from a stone.

Akira Kurusu never lurks on the school roof, or picks up shifts at Crossroads, or skulks in alleyways long after his bedtime, hoping for some douchebag to take a dislike to his face and give him a good reason to get some blood under his nails and feel alive for an hour. Whoever walks the Tokyo streets is some nameless, faceless specter, of no future and no past, to disappear when the sun rises. 

Akira Kurusu is a good boy who gets good grades and runs Sojiro’s coffee shop when Sojiro is out. His face is blank and impassive, and there’s definitely no grudges locked behind his teeth. He goes to school on time and answers all the questions right and speaks to no one. He doesn’t think about girls. He also doesn’t think about boys. 

Akira Kurusu is a good boy, who, one day at a TV station, met another good boy named Goro Akechi, who smiled politely and said all the right things, who never had a bad thought in his head or a fury in his throat. When Goro Akechi comes to set up camp in Leblanc, it is of course no problem, because Goro Akechi is a good boy who would never wait for hours just to see the whites of his prey’s eyes, and Akira Kurusu is a good boy who’s never done anything wrong, and never hungers for the sharp jolt of being pursued pressed like a blade against his neck. 

Because they are both two very good boys, it is never a threat when Goro Akechi smiles at him in the subway station, and Akira’s smile back to the quick heartbeat of adrenaline is never real.

***

Anyway, the next day a Ganesha throws Joker through a slot machine.

“Joker!” Crow is probably saying, although Joker can’t hear a whole lot while upside down and covered in casino chips and bits of machine parts. Joker appreciates the concern, though, considering that Joker’s just split up the group again, and it’s only Joker and Crow against this brick shithouse of an elephant god. When Joker springs back up, his coattails and bits of bloody chips go flying; his whole body is singing. Crow says, “Hamao–”

That’s Joker’s least favorite move. No fun when Crow’s Hamaons or Mudoons land right, and the shadow drops clean like a cut puppet, no blood, no mess, no struggle. “Hecantoncheires!” Joker interrupts, and feels another chunk of his life force get gouged out as payment for a Swift Strike. 

“Ganesha resists physical!” Crow snaps.

Joker pulls out his gun and unloads the whole clip and only stops when Crow kicks him out of the way of Ganesha’s angry swipe. “It’s weak to Psychokinesis, Joker! Finish this quickly!”

Trust Crow to have memorized all the shadows’ weaknesses. He sounds just like Queen does when Joker’s not taking it seriously enough for her. Joker pulls Kunishinada from his soul and casts a weak Psi, sweeping the shadow right off its massive feet to hit the ground with a floor-shaking crash. Joker pulls out his dagger. If Ganesha was going to beg or bargain, Joker’s not interested. He wants a good old-fashioned fight.

When Joker’s dagger slices through Ganesha’s fat stomach, Ganesha’s death throes slam a fist right into Joker’s back, crushing him and tearing Joker’s dagger straight through Ganesha’s body. Ganesha explodes into shadow dust and a shower of yen. 

When Joker stands back up, he can feel himself beaming like a maniac, and Crow seems to almost smile back just out of pure shock. And with the Ganesha gone, it’s just Joker and the last and only enemy that mattered in the middle of the casino floor, surrounded by the Sae’s machines chattering out numbers of the highest, highest stakes. Joker’s enemy is sizing Joker up in the wake of battle, examining the blood streaking down his face; Joker’s enemy is sweeping his body from head to toe with his dark red eyes, lingering at the cinch of Joker’s vest waist, the high collars. Joker’s enemy’s eyes are wide. 

“Gorgeous,” says Joker, and then collapses.

Crow’s over him in a second, but before he can say anything, Oracle’s voice comes over the line: “Joker? Your reading’s are a little wonky, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” says Joker. He sounds remarkably fine, actually, considering that his vision’s going a little grey.

“You’re not–”

Joker presses a finger to his own lips. Crow shuts up, his eyes glittering and rapt. “I’m fine,” says Joker again to Oracle. “It was just a skirmish with a shadow. Nothing big.”

“Uhhhhhh… Okay? You know where the safe room is if you need it? Noir’s not too far away if you need a hand, too.”

“Thanks, Oracle.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” says Oracle, which makes Crow’s lips purse for some reason. The line clicks off. 

“Don’t tell me you’re fine,” says Crow immediately. His voice is shaking.

“I am fine.”

“I can see the blood–!”

“That’s a flesh wound.”

“This is no time for jokes,” says Crow sharply.

“Worried?” asks Joker. His to-be murderer, fretting about death coming a little too soon for his tastes? Ah, his to-be murderer is tracing his gloved fingers by Joker’s exposed and open neck. 

Crow ignores him. “Robin Hood doesn’t know any healing spells. Can you heal yourself?”

“I’m out of magic.”

Crow looks like he’s trying very hard to be a good, straight-laced detective who doesn’t say “fuck” and also doesn’t panic. Crow is taking deep breaths, like he’s the one who go punched in the chest twice by a two-thousand pound elephant. “That was incredibly foolhardy of you.”

“It was just a bit of fun.”

“Pardon me for saying so, but what part about getting the shit kicked out of you was fun?”

Joker has the stupidest, goofiest smile on his face, he knows, because he’s half-drunk on all his wounds and, in his defense, there is a very pretty murderer with a sharp, sharp sword and gun that never misses staring down at him, their masks close enough to touch, Crow’s hands close enough to strangle him to death right there on the casino floor. Joker wants to see what would happen if Crow tried. “It’s not fun if it can’t at least kill you,” he says, more sincerely than he meant to. 

Crow’s throat works and swallows hard. His hands are tight around Joker’s chest. “I–think I have some medicine in my pocket,” he says suddenly, and tears his eyes away. It turns out that he actually does, surprisingly, in the form of one of Takemi’s pill packets and a crushed protein bar. Crow watches Joker carefully to make sure that Joker actually takes them both. He keeps watching everything Joker does, really, from the way Joker pulls the packet apart, to the tiny bites he takes, to his careful swallows. When Joker spits a wad of blood out to clear his throat, Crow stares at it like he’s never seen the color red before.

“Let’s go back to the others,” Crow says, when Joker’s finished regaining whatever strength he can. “We can hardly have the illustruous leader of the Phantom Thieves dying here.” And all the way back, Crow refuses to leave Joker’s side.

For Joker’s to-be murderer, Crow seems to care an awful lot about whether or not Joker lives or dies, Joker thinks. 

***

(i love procrastinating. send a prompt)

[wethepixies]

Welcome to the third and final part of our staff interview series! This set of interviews focus on some of our most social staff members - our Discord moderators and our social media team. Once again, these pixies had a lot to say, so we’re tucking all of it under the “Keep reading” link!

WTP’s Discord server is the main place for the community to come together - in fact, we just passed 6,000 members! It’s extremely important to keep the server as safe and friendly as possible, and that’s where our beloved moderators come through. Without them, we wouldn’t have the loving WTP community!

Our moderators are Lila Almondpetal, Gloria Flutterflower, Daphne Moonflower, Anastasia Foxheart, Rose Morningmist, and Kassie.

What are some of your favorite memories about the original Pixie Hollow? And what are some things that you’re excited to see again in WTP?

Daphne: If I had to choose only one favorite thing then it would be shopping in Pixie Hollow especially those GORGEOUS gowns from the Queen's Boutique. It was the luxury store of Pixie Hollow, and the gowns they had were on a whole different level. I used to play Pixie Hollow every day as a kid and I even convinced my dad to get me the annual membership. I was able to make a lot of friends from different parts of the world because of the game. My best memories of the game are of Camp Pixie Dust! As for what I’m excited to see in WTP, I am exhilarated about the Tearoom and Animal Derby coming back since those were the only places you could play with other players. They were always packed with other fairies and sparrowmen and I used to hang out in those two places the most.

In her interview, Daphne sent us some pictures of two of her favorite things in Pixie Hollow - a couple of screenshots of Camp Pixie Dust and her favorite gown from the Queen’s Boutique.

Anastasia: Honestly? As a kid, I spent most of my time attending the parties. The minigames there were always so addicting! Gameplay wise, I loved baking and tailoring! I wasn't as invested in it as other Disney MMOs because I never was able to get a Pixie Hollow Membership, but I still loved to play it! It influenced my decision to play the DS games, as well as the Fashion Boutique mobile game! I will say that my love of the original Pixie Hollow has benefited my life in many ways as without it, I wouldn't have so many memories with friends I've made along the way. Also, I would've never found WTP! I think one of my best memories from Pixie Hollow has to be from the one party where I won almost all of the party games. I was pretty young when I was really into Pixie Hollow, so although it's a bit silly, I just remember feeling super proud and feeling like the queen of the party, haha! As a kid, I never really appreciated the quests (although I did do them), so I am excited for those to come back & relive that experience. However, since WTP will not have a paywall for any of the experiences from the original Pixie Hollow, I am incredibly excited to explore The Wilderness for the first time!

Lila: My favorite part of the original game was honestly how open and free it was! There was always so much to do in the game, but I never felt pressured to do any of it if I didn't want to. I could go crazy one day playing games and doing quests, and then I could spend the next day flying around, just admiring the scenery and doing absolutely nothing in terms of progress. There were no obligations at all - I think that's why I remember the game so well. I was also really invested in it - I actually kept a journal about what I did in the game, can you believe it? I would say it's made my life better in a couple of ways - when the game was still open, it was a fantastic stress reliever, and even now I love thinking about it (plus, it led me to WTP!). As for my favorite memory… well, there are so many! I'd have to say my favorite was the time a Sparrow Man and I flirted in the Tearoom using nothing but those preset Speedchat phrases. I don't know who started it, but I'm pretty sure we were both non-members at the time - maybe we were drawn together by those Arrival Day outfits. We ended up drawing a crowd; I remember seeing a lot of clapping emojis and hearts. It was insane! Sadly, we forgot to add each other as friends, so we never saw each other again. I just got out my old journal to check if I wrote down his name - and I apparently did! Figfig, my guy, if you’re out there, I was either Twilight Olivemist or Karina Lightningflame at the time. As for what I’m excited for, I'm super excited for all of the meadows to come back! I loved just flying around and seeing all of the gorgeous artwork. And multiplayer, of course - Pixie Hollow was such a social game. I loved those little things like sitting on a branch and chatting.

Gloria: My favorite part of the original game was definitely the community aspect! I made a lot of friends in Pixie Hollow that were really special to me. It was so much fun to play games and throw parties with other pixies in the Hollow! I played the original game from January 2009 to its closing in 2013. I was really invested in the game and played very often! It definitely helped me embrace my inner child and hold onto magic longer than a lot of my peers, something I am grateful for. One great memory I have of the game was the events. I specifically loved the Silly Days Event, which allowed users to access the Mermaid Grotto. And Camp Pixie Dust, of course! For WTP, I am super excited for questing! It was a really unique experience every time and led to neat storylines which allowed players to unlock some cool items. I really liked the added structure of quests in game.

Rose: I was mildly obsessed with Pixie Hollow for a good majority of my childhood. I was picked on quite a bit when I was younger, so Pixie Hollow became this sort of safe haven for me, where I could express myself without fear of judgement. I spent a lot of my time roleplaying with online friends, pretending to be waitresses in the Tearoom, or secret agents fighting crime and protecting the Hollow – it was a lot of fun. Some of my first ever story ideas came from some of those roleplays, which lead to me starting a blog and later pursuing a career as an author, so I actually owe a lot to the game and the friends I made there. My favorite thing was probably decorating my home – I loved creating different settings with all the furniture I had, from cafés to ice palaces. It was a lot of fun. I'm super excited for multiplayer – I’ve made so many friends through the PBC (Pixie Blogging Community) and WTP, so I can’t wait for when we can hang out in-game.

Kassie: I played Pixie Hollow starting in late 2008 until it closed! Every day after school I would grab my snack and head to the computer to play for at LEAST an hour. Narrowing down my favorite part of the game is so hard!! But if I had to choose I would say getting creative with outfits and color combos! I loved going to fashion contests and seeing other people's creations- that's actually how I met a lot of my friends. I think Pixie Hollow benefited me as a way to escape from the stresses of the real world. Middle school and early high school were difficult seasons for me and it was nice to venture into a mystical land where I felt people truly cared for me. One of my favorite memories was when I met my friend Strawberry. We were mutual friends with someone and we both went to her house at the same time. However, our friend was asleep (remember the lil z's?) and so we started talking and suddenly we became the best of friends! Over 10 years later we are still friends and catch up with each other once in a while. We don't live far from each other so we hope to meet each other someday! Honestly, I’m most excited to have house decorating in WTP! I remember people would spend HOURS decorating their homes and doing the coolest designs- I always concentrated more on fashion so I'd love the chance to redeem myself and design an awesome home!

How did you first find out about the WTP project and what inspired you to start working as a moderator?

Kassie: A lot of my close friends started up the project and eventually invited me to be a part of it as a moderator! In our friend group I tended to be the one to mediate conversations, so I think it was a no-brainer to ask me to moderate.

Daphne: When I got to know about Club Penguin rewrites, I thought there might be a rewrite for Pixie Hollow as well and I stumbled upon a YouTube video which mentioned WTP. I really wanted to help out with the project in any way I could so that really motivated me to become a moderator.

Anastasia: I actually found out about the WTP project through Teresa, on another Pixie Hollow site where she first posted the Bubble Bounce demo! She even DM'd me about potentially helping out as an artist, which I've always wanted to do! However, due to my schedule being a bit too busy to consistently help out with game art, I never felt like I could apply. However, I've always tried to help out in other ways, such as when I was an Event Manager & hosted movie nights! When it was decided that movie nights were going to take a hiatus, I really wanted to continue helping out in the community, and thus, I became a mod!

Lila: I first found out about We The Pixies when I joined a Club Penguin rewrite. I hadn't thought about Pixie Hollow in years, but then I wondered if someone else had rewritten Pixie Hollow, so I looked it up and found WTP! As for joining the moderation team, I'd been pretty active on the server when the application opened up, and I really loved the community. I figured I'd give it a shot - worst they could say was no, right? Well, I ended up getting the role! It’s been a really great job ever since.

Gloria: I found out about We the Pixies while doing some Google searches and checking out the Pixie Hollow community this year. I definitely jumped at the opportunity to apply to be a moderator because I have so much passion for the project and wanted to help out and connect with others who also had interest. 

Rose: I found WTP through Phoebe Bumbleflip’s blog – she published a post promoting the remake and the Discord back in October last year. I don’t have any skills that can really help with the recreation of the game itself, but I wanted to contribute in any way I could, which is what inspired me become a moderator.

(Phoebe is a member of the WTP Hype Squad, you can find her blog here!)

The WTP community is mostly positive, but have you ever had instances where you felt like server members weren't being the nicest? If so, how do you deal with it?

Anastasia: Since I'm new to the staff team, I've only ever come across a handful of issues involving the members, and most of them resolve with ease. Typically, directing people to the rules and giving them a warning is enough.

Lila: With so many people in the server, it's not unusual to see something that isn't so friendly - usually, if an argument starts up in the chat, reminding people of the rules or starting a new conversation fixes things. If things are really bad, I might talk to someone individually and ask them nicely to be, well, nicer.

Gloria: In my time on the staff so far, we have had a couple trolls and people who haven't complied with the rules, and in that situation, we generally like to calmly message the person and ask them to comply with the server rules. In my experience thus far, this usually sorts out the problem. However, if the issue persists, the moderation team would consult each other and figure out how to deal with it further based on the severity of the behavior.

Rose: They’re very rare, but we have had to deal with some disputes with upset or angry members. Usually us moderators will talk and discuss the issue and then decide the best course of action together.

Kassie: There's always going to be someone unkind who comes across the server every now and then. I think the best way to handle it is to tell them what rule they're breaking and WHY it's important that they adhere to the rule. Ultimately, our rules are about respecting everyone in the community. If we can help them empathize and understand respect I think that's making strides not only in the WTP community but hopefully in EVERY community that individual is a part of.

We've had a few events in the WTP community, how does creating one come about and how do you plan it?

Anastasia: Excellent question! As a former Event Manager, I'm the right Pixie to ask!

It all starts with the approval of administration. Once the admins approve of it (and other staff have no issues with it), you can go forward and begin scheduling a time. We typically don't do events without having a proper schedule or time frame. We also try to accommodate other time zones as best as we can, since we know that WTP has Pixies from across the globe! Then, you need to designate certain responsibilities to people. This was the purpose of the Event Managers, since we were in charge of hosting Movie/Game Night. I have a lot of good memories hosting movie nights with Alchemist (Lavender) and Asteria! With other events, staff members are chosen to have either a leading role or a helping hand in making sure the event goes smoothly. Even if they aren't in charge, it is important to note that all events typically require staff supervision. Now, planning it typically involves a discussion among the staff (and any other WTP players that may be involved in helping out). We usually try to make sure that the community voice is heard, and that they can get involved! Our main goal is always to bring everyone together while having fun, and that is the foundation of all our events.

Daphne: The Hype Squad is the creative mind behind all the events we have. Since we can not have in-game events (which we definitely will once the game is fully developed), the Hype Squad tries to come up with flitterific events to keep us in the pixie hollow spirit while we wait. Our former team of event managers was behind the shorter events such as the numerous game nights and movie nights.

Lila: Starting an event is absolutely a team effort - no matter where or who the idea comes from, we like to talk about it for a while first. For example, I had the idea for Meadow Madness one night out of the blue, and I made sure to run it by the staff and Hype Squad before I started anything up. It ended up being a huge success - we had an average of 200 respondents per round, which was pretty neat for something I came up with in ten minutes.

Rose: There’s quite a bit of planning that goes on behind the scenes for events – a lot of events are actually planned by the Hype Squad (which I am a part of) or our social media team. An idea will be presented by a team member, and then we’ll all discuss it – what our thoughts are on the suggestion, and how we’d go about holding it if it were to become an actual event. If everyone on the team agrees and the staff are okay with it, we’ll then start deciding dates for the event and preparing things like banners and announcement posts. Sometimes we’ll also have one of our members act as coordinator too, to make sure everything is running smoothly during the event itself.

Kassie: I'm personally not one of the head honchos who puts events together, but it comes down to listening to a bunch of ideas and trying to figure out which one best fits the needs and desires of the community!

How do you fit working on WTP into your schedule?

Daphne: I finished high school in April and I can't really start college until quarantine is over, so I pretty much don't have anything to do at home right now so it's easy for me to make time for WTP.

Anastasia: I try my best to moderate whenever I can- usually in my spare time. We get a lot of newcomers each day, so there always seems to be someone who needs help getting verified, or a Pixie who needs some other sort of assistance. That's the thing about having such a large community: we always seem to have some moderating to do!

Lila: I actually have the apps I need for moderation (and social media work) on my phone - now that I'm not in school for the summer, I'm traveling a lot, so I don't sit down and use my laptop very often. I think I use Discord on my phone more than my laptop, actually. Using mobile lets me check the server whenever I have a spare moment, so I can keep up with things wherever I go.

Gloria: I have a really flexible schedule in general as school and life goes, so I am able to make time to moderate and spend a lot of time online.

Rose: Mostly by multitasking – I’m almost always online, even if I’m doing other things, so it’s not too tricky to keep an eye on the server throughout the day.

Kassie: It's hard sometimes, but the easiest way for me to stay connected is to keep my notifications on when I'm not busy with the mandatory things in life like my job, planning my wedding, and investing in relationships outside of the community. Giving myself the chance to walk away here and there leaves me refreshed for the next time I log on!

Two of our moderators, Kassie and Lila, also serve on our social media team, so we asked them a special question:

How do you use social media to grow the community?

Lila: Social media is a great place to post about game updates and community events. I've found that few posts get people more excited than posts about new game features. Update posts also let people know that, yes, we are still up and running! Sometimes people think we've shut down already, and social media helps us keep the project alive.

Kassie: Social Media is all about messages. I think what attracts people to join a community is to send a message they resonate with! In WTP's case, nostalgia plays a huge part in growing our community- we are trying to attract people who are excited about something they wish they had again.

One final question for all of our moderators: what’s your favorite part of your job, and is there a way it’s benefited you?

Daphne:  Definitely talking and getting to know so many people from across the globe. I'm always down for making new friends! For me, the most impact moderating for WTP has had is on my people skills. As a moderator, you have to ensure that everyone is following the rules and sometimes people need convincing to follow a rule. It also involves solving any issues related to the game/Discord server and communicating with the members in general, which really develops your people skills.

Anastasia: Honestly, my favorite part of being a mod is being able to interact with the other staff members. They're a really lovely and creative group of people, and it's fun bouncing ideas off of each other and figuring out what's best for everyone in this community! I wouldn't quit WTP for the world! Working for WTP has benefited me a lot as so far, it's helped me work on the ways I can help organize a community. Also, it is helping me work on my time management skills, as well as my ability to work in a team.

Lila: I think my favorite part of my job is, as corny as it sounds, watching this community grow! When I joined, we had maybe 500 users in the server, and we're well over 6000 now. I never thought that so many people would remember the game, but they do. It's remarkable, really. Working for WTP is probably the best volunteer position I've ever taken up. Moderating has really helped me learn how to think things through and get help when I need it. Working on social media has also been great for my writing and graphic design skills - I've got to say that I've gotten pretty good at color combinations!

Gloria: My favorite part of moderating is helping people in the player server and sparking interest and discussion among users. It's so much fun to reminisce about the hollow with other fans. Though I haven't been on the team for a very long time, it has already been lots of fun and I have really enjoyed connecting with the community even more and getting others interested in the revival project. And the other staff members are very cool people that are really rad to work with.

Rose: My favorite part of my job is welcoming new people to the server! Being a moderator has definitely helped with my problem-solving skills – working out ways to handle situations on the server.

Kassie: Being friends with the staff is my favorite part. It is always a joy to log on to laugh and learn with friends. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Asteria and I have created a pretty strong friendship (hopefully she agrees, haha). We've known each other for about 4 years now. She makes me laugh out loud and we've been there for each other in our victories and failures. Her friendship is one I deeply cherish and I hope we get to meet sometime in the future! I care a lot about connection, community, and friendship, so for me, being a part of this team is a way for me to foster those things and be a part of it! I think I've benefited from WTP by learning how to guide hard conversations and disagreements in a respectful manner. Many people think moderators just manage the community, but a huge part of our job is to aid staff in having constructive conversations. There are definitely ruffled wings here and there, but we always get through and I've really grown through those processes!

__________________

Thank you all so much for sticking with us during our interview series! We had a lot of fun answering your questions, and we hope you had a flaptastic time reading them.

[lantern-hill]

hey i just wanted to apologise if i came off harshly in the small debate-ish thing we had last night, i did agree with much of your opinion, i think i just misunderstood some of the phrasings which isn't your fault!! i have a really hard time socialising in general and understanding conversational norms so i'm sorry if anything i said hurt you. it's definitely really hard to conversate well through reblogs :/

oh no, don’t worry! i’m not angry or hurt at all. 

I felt that your reply missed the point of my post- and normally when that happens, I ignore it and move on. In this case, though, I know since we’re mutuals that you’re 13. Not to be all “I’m older and know better than you,” but I wanted to reply to you because the things you were saying were just so incredibly familiar to me. 

I’m 16, and when I was in late middle/early high school, my thought process was so incredibly similar to the things you were typing. I was so convinced, so sure. 

Whenever an idea is set forth that goes against the establishment, the establishment inevitably attempts to corrupt it and turn it on its head to benefit them. In this case, the idea that “girls should be able to wear what they want and do what they want” was used to manipulate me and so many of my peers into thinking, “so if a child/teen wants to be sexy or sexualize themselves, that’s a choice they should be allowed to make.” And then once we were convinced of that, we were fed media that made us think that being sexualized was something we should want. that we did want it. 

It’s so important to be like- okay, but are we actively deciding to do this? are we sitting up in bed one day and going, “yes, this feels right?” or is it just all the propaganda that’s everywhere?

and, most importantly, can we make the opposite choice without consequence?

Can a young girl not be sexual, not sexualize herself or be sexualized, not wear makeup, and feel like she belongs? can she see herself represented? will she be made fun of for it? will she feel alone?

So often, the answer is no. 

Are girls deciding, “I want to show my body” and then buying clothes that show their bodies? Because that’s fine! Go for it! More power to you! Or are they seeing girls’ fashion catalogues and magazines and posters and thinking, “I should look like that”?

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with seeing a style represented and then choosing to emulate that style. But if that representation was universally replaced with a different style, and girls would then want to look like that style, then it’s a clear sign- this isn’t girls making a choice to look like that. this is children wanting to look like what the world tells them they’re supposed to look like. 

I spent so many years beating myself up for not, at my core, really wanting the things I saw people “my age” doing in the media. I spent so many years trying to shut up the little voice in me that was like “Okay, but I don’t REALLY want to do this.” And it’s such bullshit, and it just makes me so tired. Because the second I watched a show where teenagers weren’t hypersexualized, I was like, “that. I want that. this feels so much more right.”

Again, this isn’t Sex Is Bad, Be A Nun. I myself like to show a little skin from time to time. Why not? It can be fun. But I’ve learned from years of experience that none of us, absolutely none of us, are immune to propaganda. And young girls are one of the primary propaganda targets. 

There’s a quote that goes “Women are expected to be in their 20s their whole lives, including when they’re teens.” And I could not agree more.

[imagine-that-100]

Drunk | Part 3 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Word Count: 9k

A/N: So I found it so difficult to write this part which is one of the many reasons why it took so long to share with you guys. So I really hope you all enjoy it and your reactions and feedback are most welcome. I honestly love seeing your comments. Love you all and thanks a million for reading. It means more than you know. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Before you knew it, Christmas was upon you and your life seemed relatively good compared to the last time you came back home for Christmas. You’d always loved coming back to see everyone and this year was even better because you’d reconnected with so many people.

It made this Christmas one of the best you’d had in a long while.

Your last Christmas break had been boring compared to this one. Last year you were just lazy and sat around your house watching anything on Netflix.

You’d spice it up from time to time by going between Caroline, Alisha, and Y/B/F’s houses and had a few drinks with them every now and again. You did just go around to be with your best friends though as you really did miss them when you were back in Leeds.

This year though, was completely different. You were out of the house every other day going into town or going to see various people you’d lost contact with. And you’d also met up with your old friends a few times too.

On more than one occasion you’d met up with George and he showed you his studio, where him and the boys made and recorded their videos. And you’d also been seeing Matty.

Well, not really seeing him. You met up with each other. Both played hard to get for an hour or two before one of you gave in first. You shagged and then you went your separate ways. Until the next time.

It was a mutually beneficial relationship between the two of you. You both craved each other, and you got what you wanted.

You never thought it would turn into a full ‘friends with benefits’ situation, but it did. And you didn’t mind.

On the occasion that George brought you to their studio, it was just you and George for a while. You’d gone around because you’d been interested in their music as you hadn’t seen them perform yet and were eager to hear it their new stuff too.

You’d also told George how you were interested to see how they recorded their songs, so he’d invited you around to show you.

You’d been at the studio for 4 hours before the other boys joined you. You didn’t even know they were coming until they all crashed in and startled you.

You noticed that George didn’t even seem fazed when they slammed the door open and practically fell over each other as they came in. You, however, had the fright of your life and almost jumped out of your skin.

You watched as they all laughed coming into the room and Adam and Ross composed themselves when they saw you. Matty, however, didn’t give a fuck and carried on cackling away.

Despite making eye contact with you, Matty walked past you, ignoring your existence and stood next to George. It seemed the playing hard to get was starting early today.  

You turned your attention back to Ross and Adam and asked how they were.

Adam nodded with an adorable smile on his face and Ross asked, “Good thanks, are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m good thanks. I’ve just been listening to your stuff” You tell him turning back toward the computer screen that you and George were sat at.

You noticed that Matty had moved away from George and now headed toward the sofas on the opposite side of the room.

“Which ones?” Adam questions and you smiled up at him.

You looked to George for confirmation for the names as you said them out loud, “I’ve listened to Facedown, Woman, Anobrain, and Sex”

George grinned and nodded before you turned back to the other boys, who were now all sat on the sofa’s opposite the wall full of pictures. You smiled at Ross and Adam hoping to make it clear that you really did like their music.

“Which ones your favourite?” Adam smiled and you thought about it for a few seconds.

“I don’t know, I like Woman but I also really like Sex” You tell him truthfully.

Before you could say anymore, George interrupted saying “We know”

That made you all laugh. You elbowed him in his side and chuckled along.

You weren’t fussed that Matty had told them, they had probably heard a lot over the years, so you were nothing new to them. You looked at Matty and smiled and he shrugged his shoulders at you.

“Well yeah but anyway...” You move the conversation quickly on.

“I really like your music” You told them, and they all murmured a thank you.

Your night moved on and you ended up ordering a takeout with them. You all listened to some music as you ate, and you found that you bounced off them quite well when it was just you 5.

It never became awkward which you were thankful for. Each of you kept the conversation flowing and before you knew it, hours had passed.

You’d forgotten how nice it was to just have lads as friends. There was no drama or over analysing like there was with girls.

You were laughing and chatting so loudly with them that you’d almost missed your phone ringing.  

It was your Mum, so you quickly picked up the phone. 

“Hey” You answered.

Her voice rang loudly in your ear as she asked, “Hi, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m good thanks, are you alright?” You respond, trying to sound just as friendly as she was being, despite wanting to chat with your friends again.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just wondered if you needed any tea doing or if you were having something out?” She asked you.

“I’ve just had a takeout, but thanks though” You told her.

“That’s fine, what did you have?” She asked and she carried on asking you all the things Mum’s did on the phone.

The boys thankfully stayed relatively quiet as you spoke to her, which surprised you actually. You half expected one of them to shout ‘Y/N but that cig out’ like everyone used to in high school.

“Are you coming home tonight or are you staying out again?” She asked you.

“Am I staying out or coming home...” You slowly repeated out loud, as if in thought. But you were actually looking for confirmation from Matty.

When his eyes connected with yours you immediately knew the answer. From the way he acted all night you could just tell at this point.

You watched as he mouthed, “Stay mine” and you returned to your conversation as the other boys started grinning at you both.

This caused you to have a smile on your face when you told your Mum, “I’m gunna stay out I think”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then” She said, and you were surprised she didn’t make a big deal about it.

Usually when you stayed out more than twice a week, she would guilt trip you into spending more time with her. She probably just thought you were staying at Y/B/F’s again.

“Yep I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you” You bid her goodbye.

“Love you too, bye” She repeated.

“Byeeee” You dragged before hanging up the phone.

You looked back to the guys and they were all looking at you with a grin.

“Who was that?” George cooed.

“My boyfriend” You joke but keep a completely serious face. 

You watched as their faces dropped. Except for Matty’s, he didn’t seem to care.

The room went silent for a moment until you let your smile slip and you couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped your lips.

You saw relief flood onto the others faces and they shook their heads at you. Most likely because you actually tricked them.

“Can you imagine? ‘Oh hey, yeah imma stay out tonight and sit on someone else’s dick. Bye love you’... Jesus guys, I’m not him” You laughed, pointing towards Matty.

They did start laughing at that and you smiled when Matty flashed you his middle finger.

“No, it was my Mum” You told them.

“Awh, what does our Y/M/N think about you shagging him?” Ross pries, nodding towards Matty.

Ross had met your Mum a few times in the past at various school events you were both forced to go to. So, Ross knew her somewhat better than the rest.

You let out a small laugh at that, “Oh, she definitely doesn’t know about that”

You’d managed to bring Matty back to yours whilst she was out for the night and you were left on your own. You didn’t need the embarrassing conversation that followed it when she would inevitably see him the following morning.

“Really?” George questions.

You looked at him and explain, “George, she probably still thinks I’m an innocent virgin”

This comment then caused Matty to let out a loud laugh. You couldn’t help your laughter too because it was probably near enough the truth.

“She couldn’t be more wrong then, could she?” Matty smirked.

You shook your head, grinning, “No, not really”

You couldn’t even lie about it. You literally admitted to everyone at Steve’s party that you liked to be choked. To make it worst you and Matty had got up to some kinky shit that the other boys probably already knew about.

You didn’t find anything to be ashamed of though. If Matty wasn’t bothered, you definitely weren’t. Especially when Matty was the one who suggested you try out more stuff in the first place.

The night carried on and George got you all a beer, except for the designated driver, Ross. You didn’t particularly like the taste of beer, but you drank it anyway. If you could stomach straight vodka, you could definitely stomach lager.

Before you knew it, George exclaimed, “How the fuck is it half one?”

You took your phone out just to double check and it was indeed 01:30am. You couldn’t believe it, you met up with George at 3pm. The day had practically flashed in front of your eyes.

“Better get going” Ross announces, getting himself up off the sofa and he offers to the surrounding boys, “Want a lift?” 

“Nah I think I’m good mate, but thanks though” George says sarcastically, and you let out a chuckle.

Both Matty and Adam also stood up indicating to you that they were accepting Ross’ generous offer. You stay sat for a moment longer until Matty stood in front of you when you were about to get up.

Matty offered both his hands to you and you happily took them. You let him pull you up to your feet and you share a smile before you let go of each other’s hands.

“Always a pleasure George” You say, going to wrap your arms around his torso. He happily accepted the hug and gave you a tight squeeze in return.

“I’m glad you found the recording interesting” He smiled, and you honestly did.

“Honestly loved it. You’re all very clever” You grin, looking round the boys. “Don’t forgot me when you’re massive popstars” 

“It’ll be rockstars actually” Matty said and you rolled your eyes.

“Same difference. Just don’t forget who supported you when you were sat in your make shift studio recording your music” You say pointing between them all.

“Woah, did you just insult the studio?” George piped up and you back tracked immediately.

He laughed as he showed you all out. Just as you were about to get into the back of Ross’ car you wave, “See you on Saturday at the gig”

And you did.

After George’s that night, you went back to Matty’s and you both had a wild ride. You both got up to some kinky shit that you had no doubt Matty would tell the other boys first chance he got. And you’d probably had the best sex of your life.

You were really surprised that you hadn’t woken his Mum or his brother up that night. You tried your best to keep quiet but Matty liked to try make you louder. Either way you’d had a great night.

The next time you saw Matty was at the gig on the Saturday night. 4 days had passed since you’d last had sex, so you prepared yourself for the inevitable to take place and you dressed to impress. But you wouldn’t admit that.

Matty seemed thrilled to see you when you showed up at the bar in your leather skirt and lacey body suit. You watched as his eyes ran over your body and you liked that he immediately came over to you, cutting off his conversation with a different girl you deemed prettier than yourself.

He came to your side and his hand found its way to your hip as you ordered your drink.

“You alright?” Matty asked you. 

You could see him trying to look into your eyes but failing. They were looking at anything but.

“Great thanks” You smiled at him before turning back to the bartender and diverted your attention from Matty. 

You didn’t want to make it easy for Matty. You wanted him to work for it.

When you got your drink Matty was still on you, not that you were complaining, and he was leading you to his table where the other boys were. They all said ‘hey’ and at that point you expected Matty to leave you be, but you were wrong.

When you removed your leather jacket, his arm immediately found its way around your shoulder and he kept himself close to you. You found it quite odd considering that the other guys that you hung around with back at Leeds didn’t even do this when they were after sex. But you liked the game playing.

It got better when Matty didn’t have a drink in his other hand too. At the start of the night his hand rested on your knee, but as you both consumed more alcohol you found his hand creeping higher and higher, until his fingers were almost under your leather skirt.

You’d sent him knowing glances as his grip would randomly tighten on your leg or he would risk it by moving slightly higher. You loved that he was being adventurous out in public too.

To make it worse he knew he was affecting you. Especially when he trailed his fingertips up and down your leg. That had become a tell of Matty’s because he always did it when you were in bed and was after another shag.

It had become second nature to you now. After almost a month of his constant attention you knew what he wanted and when he wanted it. That didn’t stop you from making him wait for it though.

You liked that he was testing the boundaries more with you and acting slightly cockier than he usually was.

The sexual tension between the two of you could practically be seen and George had to almost drag Matty away from you when it was time for them to go up on stage. But then it was your turn to sit waiting for him to give you what you wanted.

You found him incredibly attractive when he was up on stage performing. You had when you were younger, and you still did now. Only it was harder for you to control yourself than you remembered.

You forgot that Matty probably used his performances to his advantage and he probably seduced most of his victims through his stage presence. You were certainly finding it difficult to sit still whilst he kept making innuendos and thrusting his hips into the crowd. Specifically, in your direction.

At one point you wanted to go up and get him from the stage and let him have you in the back room of the pub. There was just something about him when he performed.

You didn’t know whether it was the 0 fucks that he gave whilst he was up there or the fact that he seemed to have you hanging onto his every word. You barely found it in yourself to listen to their songs because you were just so focused on him.

You did note that his singing was much better than it was all those years back but that was to be expected. They were a really good band and you really hoped everything worked out with the interest from the record label.

You also liked the fact that he kept winking at you and nodding towards you when he made eye contact with you. You found yourself blushing at one point when he didn’t break eye contact from you whilst singing a dirty lyric which you liked that he did.

You could see on stage that he was getting progressively more drunk and you just knew that by the time he’d finished and packed away the gear he’d be on you in a flash. And there was nothing more you’d wanted the whole night than to sit on his dick.

That was all you could think about for the last 10 minutes of the gig. Especially when he started singing Sex. The lyric ‘If we’re gunna do anything we might as well just fuck’ just make the wait for him more agonising.

You wanted him so much you were probably willing to beg for it.

Thankfully Matty seemed to be on entirely the same page. As soon as he’d finished singing Sex to close the show, he came off the stage as people were applauding him, walked up to you, and kissed you.

It was a hot kiss and you could feel it again spark the sexual tension between the two of you. You both wanted each other so much it was almost unbearable when he broke away.

He left you horny and dizzy before he left to go back and pack up their equipment. After you composed yourself from the sudden attack to your lips you turned to your best friend.

She didn’t even seem fazed by it this time, she just had a grin on her lips. You were originally meant to stay at hers, but you knew that there was no way that was happening now.

You had needs and so did Matty.

You hated when he left you hot and bothered and waiting for more. It made you irritable and all you could think about was his hands on your body and all the things he did with them.

20 minutes after their set ended, Matty walked toward you with his guitar case in one hand and pulled you up from your seat with the other.

You hadn’t seen any of the other boys before Matty pulled you outside. He put his guitar case down on the ground before pushing you up against the brick wall and reattached his lips to yours.

He tasted like alcohol and that didn’t really surprise you. You had seen him drink so much it didn’t surprise you that it was all you could taste.

He smelled like the expensive aftershave he always wore and as you pulled him closer by his leather jacket you really wanted him to take you right against the wall. You found him so addicting in the stupidest of ways.

And to think, after your crush had bypassed, you used to judge every girl that Matty was rumoured to have been with. And now here you were, wanting him to fuck you against a wall.

You remember you used to think, ‘Oh he’s added another one to the list’ and now you seemed to be the last on the list. 

For now, anyway. 

And you were fine with that.

Matty was sweaty from the gig but that somehow made him more attractive to you. His curls were everywhere from the consistent head banging he’d been doing, and it made him even more desirable.

Maybe it was because that’s what he ended up like after a night in his bedroom and he was always attractive to you there. It could have been that or it could have been the way you could feel how hungry he was for you.

You really didn’t know if you had enough will power to make him wait for you like usual. You liked to toy with him and keep him waiting. Give him the illusion that he was in control but knowing full well that you were the one who decided when it would happen.

But tonight, you didn’t think any waiting would be happening. You were already too far into the game.

Your tongue was in his mouth when you both got interrupted. And much to your disappointment you had to pull away.

“Matty, need your help with the gear mate” George interrupted the both of you.

“I’m a bit busy” Matty almost growled in anger before kissing you again.

 You chuckled into the kiss before you pushed him away from you slightly. You didn’t really want him further away from you, because you quite liked the fact he trapped you against the wall and stole kisses. 

But you would always look out for George.

“You can help them first, then you’ve got me for the rest of the night” You told him, patting on his chest so he would move away from you.

Matty looked at you with annoyance clear on his features and you found his reaction comical. He could see the humour in your eyes and he now couldn’t wait to make you wait for it later.

You diverted your attention from the annoyed boy in front of you and looked towards George. He nodded, appreciating your help and you smiled back at him before patting Matty’s chest silently instructing him to go help.

When you eventually got back to Matty’s that night, you were on each other like animals. You didn’t leave each other alone for hours and you don’t know how you hadn’t woken someone up with the noises that came from both your mouths.

You couldn’t get enough of each other. When you thought you were both finished, you would be quickly back on each other wasting no time at all. It was like you were both addicted to each other’s bodies.

Each time either of you got a taste of each other it was like a chemical reaction took place that sent you both into a frenzy. You craved each other. You needed each other.

And Matty never disappointed. He drove you wild. He consumed your every sense. 

Every touch. 

Every thought. 

Everything.

You didn’t think it could get better as time went on, but Matty proved you wrong there as well. He kept you keen and he kept things interesting.

You couldn’t help but get excited for the next time that you would see him again to try different things out. You ended up going a little bit 50 shades with each other but neither of you seemed to mind.

If anything, it was the complete opposite. You both looked forward to it. It made things more interesting.

You’d been having that much fun that you found time was flying by. You’d seen Matty at least every other day for a shag or two and afterwards you sometimes hung around with each other.

One-time Matty followed you out shopping which you don’t know why he did because he complained the entire way around. He sounded like a pissed off boyfriend that had been forced to go clothes shopping.

Another time after you stayed at Matty’s for the night, the boys all stumbled into his room before you had a chance to leave. Thankfully you were dressed in a pair of joggers and a hoodie as you got cold during the night.

George jumped across you both as you were still half asleep in bed and you’d ended up spending the rest of the day with them. And you did have fun these various times you would both stick around each other.

You seemed to get on really well and you could sort of see the both of you becoming a thing if you were to stick around. However, you hadn’t gone to university and got yourself thousands of pounds in debt to drop out 4 months before finishing.

You did like Matty though and your crush on him started to resurface. But you were getting the physical stuff out of the way and you knew Matty tended not to waste time with emotion. Which is why a conversation you had after a you’d had sex surprised you a lot.

You were both lay in your bed hot and sweaty from the mischief that you’d both just gotten up to. Both of you were lay silent just catching your breaths.

After a minute or two of you both staring at the ceiling and calming down, Matty questions, “When do you go back?”

“In a week” You tell him slightly breathlessly and slightly disappointed that you could only have sex with him a few more times before you left.

“Shame” Matty sighed.

“Why’s it a shame?” You questioned, whilst turning your head to the side to look at him.

“I’ll have to find someone to replace you with” Matty explains turning to look back at you. 

The cheeky grin on his face was adorable.

You smiled at that and let out a small laugh. It didn’t surprise you and you guessed you would be in the same situation when you got back to Leeds. 

So, you nodded, “Same”

“Ah well, it’ll be easy” Matty shrugged before looking back at your ceiling.

You jokingly scoff, “Nice to know I’m easily replaceable” 

But you can’t keep the smile from your face. You ended up chuckling at your own joke, knowing he really didn’t mean it that way, and Matty ends up laughing too.

“Nah you’re good… It’s definitely been memorable” Matty reminisces truthfully.

“Yeah, you looked good in the fluffy handcuffs” You chuckle, grinning at the memory.

He definitely did you remembered hovering over him and having to stop yourself from talking a picture of him in them. It was a fun sight to see, and one you wanted to see again and again.

“Yeah well, you look great with my hand around you throat” Matty grinned, and you couldn’t stop your reaction.

“Wow, serial killer” You laughed, and he laughed too. 

You both couldn’t stop giggling for about a minute until Matty finally calmed down. He’s grinning at you, playing with a lone strand of your hair that had accidentally made it onto his pillow. 

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it” Matty chuckles

“Definitely not denying it. You’re probably the only guy that’s done it properly” You tell him truthfully, but Matty looked at you slightly confused.

You decided to clear it up for him and explain, “The rest just pussy out”

Matty had been the only guy you’d been with that actually choked you with just enough pressure to make the sensation even more enjoyable. Everyone else just didn’t seem to do it right. They either just put their hand on your neck or only applied a little bit of pressure.

You demonstrated what you meant on his throat and you felt him gulp beneath your hand. 

You smiled down at him, “Want me to do it to you?”

You saw his lip twitch up at the thought of it and you chuckled at him as you squeezed slightly tighter before letting go of him.

“Such a fucking tease” Matty hummed, before grabbing you by your neck and bringing you to him for a long kiss. 

You felt him tighten his grip slightly and you couldn’t help but smile as he did it.

“You really enjoy it don’t you?” He questions when you pull away and he lets go of your neck.

As you hovered over him, you nod, “Yeah, I do” 

“Well I’ll do it again if you want before you leave? Keep it memorable for you, so you know what you’ll be missing” He grinned at you.

“I’m mean yeah sure but don’t act like you won’t miss me… I know for a fact that you’ve never been tied down to a bed before like we did after George’s” You told him. You remembered the night well. One of the best nights you’d had with him.

“Er yea...” Matty started but you quickly shut him down.

“No, I don’t mean you haven’t done it to anyone else… I mean no one’s ever done it to you.” You said with a smirk and watched as he tried to find a response.

“What makes you say that?” He challenged you with a little frown.

“You clearly hated not being able to have control over me and you were getting angry to me for it. You hated not being able to touch. It killed you” You smiled, because you knew you were right.

Matty looked at you for a moment and you could see him searching his brain for something to say.

You giggled and shuffled slightly closer to him saying, “See, you don’t have a comeback because you know it’s true”

“And I know it’s true because you’ve started to enjoy it more, rather than getting angry and that’s all down to me” You added feeling empowered by his lack of response.

Matty gave you a look that said, ‘You’re right but I hate you for it’. You smiled down at him when he said “Okay, you got me there but-”

“But nothing…” You interrupted before leaning down to kiss his lips a few times.

“I’m the best and you know it” You smirked down at him, a victorious grin on your face.

“How are you the best if I’ve only experienced you doing it?” He asked, trying to knock you off your high horse.

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see. You can tell me when I’m back after I graduate” You raised your eyebrows at him playfully.

“Wait, you’re coming back here after you graduate?” Matty asked and you nod.

“Yeah I can’t really stay over there. I will have no loan to pay for accommodation and I don’t earn enough at the bar to keep myself going” You tell him honestly.

“We can pick up right where we left off then” Matty grins, and you would love nothing more. 

You just knew it wouldn’t happen just like that though.

You joke, “You mean after you’ve shagged the other half of Manchester?” 

Matty let out a loud laugh at your comment, followed with, “Wow, you know me so well”

You chuckled before bringing your lips down to his again. You wasted no time and climbed back over his body and started making out with him again.

Your little arrangement continued on until the end of the week and you really wished that you didn’t have to go back.

Getting dick was so much easier when it was just one person you needed to ask for it. Going out and finding others was just too stressful sometimes.

You were thankful that when you came home you could have him. And you were thankful for the time you’d had with him. Because he was fucking good.  

After your little speech about control over him, Matty certainly made it clear that he was the dominant party and you were the submissive. He tied you down so tight that you almost thought you would get bruises.

Everything about him exhilarated you. The way he acted like he didn’t care but his actions towards you were so possessive that you knew he did.

You hadn’t even gotten to know him that well since you’d been fucking. You just knew the basics of him. Band. Drugs. Food. Money. Sex. You didn’t want to know anything else because you’d become too attached.

You literally just craved each other’s bodies and you liked that he was begging for it from you sometimes.

Like one time he was driving you back home and you both just couldn’t wait. He pulled the car over and you very quickly got onto his dick and had the most amazing car sex.

He really was incredible, and you found yourself wanting to see him more and more. Like if a day went by and neither of you called each other up you just knew you were going to get the most out of what was to come the next day.

The fact that you both seemed to get on with each other and enjoyed each other’s company even when you weren’t having sex, made Matty’s actions towards you worse. It sort of upset you because after the past two months, you would consider yourself at the very least friends with him, despite only knowing him on a physical level.

So when he didn’t show up to say bye, it hurt more than you let on. You understood that at the end of the day it was just a friends with benefits situation and that he had no commitments to you.

But you’d been fucking him for two months. You thought that the least he would do is show up to say bye after promising he would. That and you’d obviously let yourself become too attached.

You’d arranged a small get together at your house for the people you were going to miss. The people who you didn’t want to lose contact with again and of course Matty and the band were invited.

You’d spent so much time with the boys over the past two months that there was no way you wouldn’t miss their company.

And especially Matty’s. But after promising he’d show up and not doing just highlighted the fact that he didn’t care at all and never did.

When George, Adam and Ross showed up to your house you’d been so excited to see them that for 30 seconds you didn’t even realise Matty wasn’t with them.

However, when you questioned where he was, George noticed that your face immediately changed and so did your mood when he reluctantly told you Matty wasn’t coming.

You did try and put it past you to not let it ruin your night. But George noted that it hurt your feelings, even if it was only a little bit.

What made it worse was that even Steve showed after you’d pied him off all those weeks ago. But the guy you’d been fucking for two months was nowhere in sight.

You don’t know why you expected anything different. After all he was the fuckboy of your friendship group. You just thought because it was a mutually beneficial situation, and the fact that you’d actually considered each other friends, he would come and say bye.

Despite Matty being in the back of your mind all night, you did have a good night. And you hated yourself that you’d booked such an early train back so everyone left slightly earlier than they usually would.

Most parties didn’t end at midnight but this one did because your train back was so early.

The band were the last of your friends to leave as Alisha, Caroline and Y/B/F had to head home slightly earlier than your self-made curfew. You didn’t mind though you’d seen them a lot over the holidays and you knew they had somewhere important to be in the morning.

As the boys left, they each gave you a big hug which was a great feeling. It had been really nice hanging out with them over the past two months and you told them all that and that you’d miss them a lot.

You’d enjoyed getting to know them all again instead of what you saw on Facebook from time to time. They were amazing people and you definitely didn’t want to lose contact again.

George was the last to hug you and you clung to him for a second longer than the others. You really wished you could take George back with you as you had no doubt he’d love Leeds and all the stuff you got up to.

However, it was probably for the best that he stayed because your friends would try their best to eat him up.

You told Matty about their obsession with George when you were lay in bed once. He didn’t believe that they liked him as much as you said they did so you showed him some of the messages.

Matty then joked that if George and Jess ever broke up, he would know exactly where to take him first.

George gave you a tight squeeze before saying, “I’m sorry Y/N”

You frown a little as you look up at him, “What’re you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get him out, I’ve been texting him all night. He’s being a prick” George explained with a sad smile.

You shook your head and smiled up at him. “It’s fine, you know what he’s like. Shouldn’t have been a surprise really”

“Well, I’m still sorry” George apologises, before hugging you one more time.

You chuckled and hugged him back. You savoured the moment because it was quickly over, and he was on his way out the door.

Unfortunately, the morning came far too quickly and you and before you knew it you were sat on the freezing cold train station platform waiting for your train.

Of course, it was your luck that it was half an hour delayed and it was one of the coldest mornings you’d experienced in a long time. It seemed fitting to your mood though. You didn’t really want to go back.

You were sat on your own with your headphones on trying to drown the world away. You were still tired from the night before and emotionally drained to.

You’d had such a good two months and you don’t even know why you let the fact that Matty didn’t show up bother you. You knew what you were getting yourself in to and you knew what Matty was like, so it really shouldn’t have been a shock.

Thankfully before you could let your mind wonder too far into the subject, your train arrived, and you quickly got on. You found an empty seat and tried to warm up quickly. You hated being cold. It was one of the worst feelings ever so you were thankful that you warmed up quickly.

About halfway through your journey, you received a text message that woke you up from your drowsy state. The notification made you jump up and your heart started beating slightly faster from the fright.

You unlocked your phone and saw that you had a text from Matty. You rolled your eyes as you read the blunt message and decided that it was definitely for the best that you were returning back to reality. What a twat.

You put your phone down, without replying and locked it letting the message fade away to the black screen. 

Bye

~*~*~*~*~*~

When you got back to university, Matty very quickly became a distant memory. You had more important things to think about in your final few months than a boy that was just a good fuck.

The only time you thought about him was when he was mentioned when you spoke to George or when your friends joked about him.

Over the two months that you saw him, you didn’t keep him being a good shag a secret from your Uni friends. So, he ended up becoming an inside joke in your flat when your returned, as everyone knew about him.

For example, because you went on about how good the sex was and how often you were receiving it, they could all sense your happy mood when you spoke to them.

Therefore, every time you were in a bad mood at Uni they would say things like, “Aw Y/N, do you need to give Matty a call?” Or, “I’m just gunna go get Matty for you”

You found their banter quite funny and sometimes you played along and when they asked if you were alright, you’d joke, “No but I’ll give Matty a call later on”

You all found the joke quite funny and a few of your slightly less close friends started to quickly understand the joke too. They were all dying to see who he was, but you kept him a secret.

Thankfully, they didn’t know he went under Truman Black on Facebook, so they never found him, and you never told anyone outside your flat that he was in a band.

One night after someone had annoyed you in work you sat down in your flat and told your friends about it. You could feel your anger returning so you made the joke and blatantly said to your friends “I can feel myself getting angry again, should I call Matty now or later?”

This caused your flatmates to laugh and your mood picked up. They distracted you pretty easily, so you never actually did end up calling Matty whilst you were back at uni. Despite wanting to a few times when you were drunk and wanted an easy booty call.

Yes, Leeds was a bit far to travel but you wouldn’t doubt what Matty would do for a shag.

Uni took over your life once more and you were thankful that you’d pretty much got all of your dissertation finished so you could finish Uni without any stress. The first few months back you hadn’t really spoken to anyone from back home other than your close friends.

That made the fact that you received a random message from George at 1am all the more exciting.

Hey Y/N/N hope you’re good. Just wondered if you could possibly sort some gigs out for us at some point in Leeds? No worries if not though :)

You were already up so you decided to reply straight away. You forgot how much you’d missed him until you saw his name pop back up on your screen. You definitely wanted him to come an experience Leeds with you.

You were actually quite excited at the thought of them coming over to your neck of the woods. And you knew you could get them some good gigs. Everyone loved you over here so it would be easy to sort out.

Hey, Yeah of course I will! I think there’s a music festival coming up soon actually and I’ll get you other gigs across the weekend, so you don’t have to come all this way just for the one gig :)

You sent back and his reply was almost immediate.

Absolute legend Y/N!!! knew you’d get us sorted

You chuckled when that came through. God you’d missed how much of a big brother he was to you. You replied to him quickly getting excited at the thought of them coming to Leeds.

Anytime. I’ll go around and ask people about it tomorrow and I’ll get back to you with some details.

And you did do just that. You went out the next day and persuaded the event organiser that it was in his best interest to let the boys headline the music festival on the Saturday evening.

You then went to a bar in town that you knew the manager of and asked them if they would be interested in the entertainment for the Sunday evening. They said yeah and even said they would pay each of them for the gig.

Then you asked your manager at work if the boys could play on the Friday before the festival because it was your music night anyway. He of course said yes because he loved you because you were his favourite employee.

You worked in the student union bar and knew that the people who came in would love the band. You elected to book that full weekend off work because you could see it ending up a messy one.

The boys liked to drink, and you definitely wouldn’t say no if they asked you to drink with them.

You left work and started walking back to your flat eager to tell George about everything. You checked the time and saw that it was 4pm.

You didn’t think it would be a problem if you called him now, so you just rang him. After a few rings you heard him pick up the phone.

“Hello Y/N” George answered in a cheery voice.

“Hello George” You mimicked with a chuckle. 

You weaved yourself through the pavement full of students hoping to make it back to your flat quickly. It was quite nice out today, it was no surprise people were out and about. 

“Please tell me you’ve got good news for me” George said, and you could hear the hope in his voice.

You chuckled, being unable to hide your humour, “George have I ever let you down?”

“No” He said, and you smiled.

“Your girl just got you three gigs and two of them are paid ones” You walked towards your building and smiled when you saw an old friend hold the door open for you.

You mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her and got inside your building quickly. You were so thankful you only lived 2 minutes from your campus and work. It made life a lot easier.

“Are you joking?” George practically shouted down your ear and you couldn’t help but smile.

“No, I swear down” You laughed.

“Y/N I actually love you. You’re a gem!” He said sounding excited before you heard commotion on the other end of the phone.

You quietly heard George tell who you presumed to be the other boys that you’d got them paid gigs. And before you knew it you were explaining to them what stuff you’d booked them for as you got the lift up to the 5th floor.

You assumed George had put you on speaker because you could hear just about every excited thing the boys said as you told them about it.

“So yeah, I’ve basically got you three gigs at places I know” You started off.

“I’ve got you a gig at my Student Union on the Friday night because it’s a music night and they usually get a band in anyway. They aren’t very good so I’ll make sure you go on after them so everyone can hear the difference between shit and decent music.” You explain and you hear chuckles from the other end of the phone.

“Oh, and because you know me, you’ll get free drinks all night with that one as well as being paid for it which you can thank me for later. On the Saturday you’ve then got the music festival that I’ve...”

“Where are we in the line-up for that Y/N?” You heard Matty asked and you rolled your eyes as you walked into your flat and kicked the door closed.

“Well, if you would have let me speak instead of butting in, I was about to tell you that I got you headlining it” You said, and you paused when you heard their excited commotion.

You could picture them sat around Georges phone in the studio with massive smiles on their faces.

You continued on, “You won’t get paid for that one, but you’ll again get free drinks for it so it’s not too bad” You heard murmurs of how good it should be and that the festival would be great.

“Then on the Sunday I got you a gig at a bar in the town. It’s quite nice in there and you’ll get paid like a hundred for doing it along with drinks again” You said before walking into your lounge/kitchen and plonking yourself down on the sofa.

You waved at Ava and silently said ‘Hello’ to her as she was stood making your flats dinner for the evening. She smiled at you and waved back with a knife in her hand. You smiled at her action.

“Holy shit Y/N you’re the fucking best” You heard Ross call and you smiled.

“Yeah I know… Told you I could be your manager George” You say with a laugh.

You heard George get excited aggravated for a moment, and practically shouted at you down the phone, “You actually could. Why the fuck did you leave us and go to Leeds in the first place? We could’ve used you back here”

“Ah well you wouldn’t be getting free drinks now if I didn’t leave” You said shrugging your shoulders and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face.

God you loved George so much. You really had forgot how much you’d missed him.

“That’s true” You heard Adam point out.

“When is this Y/N?” You think you heard Ross call.

“Oh, well, I was thinking you could come up on the Thursday and we can have catch up drinks or something. And then you can all stay in my flat for the weekend because loads of people won’t be back, so I’ve got the room. And the Thursday would be... the Seventh of April”

You heard a silence down the phone and then a few hushed voices. 

“Shit, you’ve already got something planned for that weekend, haven’t you?” You questioned.

“It’s Matty’s birthday on the Eighth” Ross informed you.

“Shit, I can cancel them if you want? I doubt they’ll mind. Or if you want, I can just cancel the one on the Eighth and you can come on the Saturday” You rambled on wanting to sort something out for them.

“Nah nah nah it’s fine. We’ll do them all” Matty told you loudly.

“It’s alright, it really won’t be an issue cancelling them” You said, wanting to make sure.

“Nah, honestly thanks for sorting all of it out. Should be a weekend to remember. As long as we have a hard night out after the gig on the Friday?” Matty suggests and you could practically see the grin on his face.

“That’s fine by me” You said honestly. 

They all knew how much you liked a drink.

“Should be good, I’ll bring all my mates out” You said, and Ava started paying attention to you. 

Any mention of going out, she was all ears. She loved a good night out.

“You don’t have any friends Y/N” Matty called. 

You scoff at his comment, “Ugh, yeah I do actually. The ones that fancy George” 

Ava sent you a knowing look, “Drummer George?” and you nodded a quick yeah.

“Oh my god, is he single yet?” Ava shouted, which made you and the boys on the phone laugh.

“No, and you can’t go near him, he’s practically married” You tell her as she comes and sits down next to you.

“Is she fit?” You heard Matty ask.

You rolled your eyes and say, “Fuck off Matty”

At the mere mention of his name your friend darted her eyes down to you. Her jaw dropped to the ground for a brief second and a second later a grin replaced it.

“Oh! So you’re on the phone to Matty?” She questions loudly, in a very amused voice.

You didn’t answer her you just quickly started a new conversation by asking how the band were going to travel. You saw as she ran toward the door and opened it shouting for your other flat mates, Stacy and Tom.

When they both ventured out of their rooms, Ava asked them, “Guess who she’s on the phone to?”

“Matty?” They say in unison. 

When they saw her reaction and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at them. They both looked at you with a big grin, but you wished you’d just ended the call then.

The boys must have heard Matty’s name being called down the phone, so they stopped talking and tried to listen in to what your friends were saying. You didn’t really notice though because your attention was now on your friends around you.

They all came and sat around you and started asking really loud questions so Matty could hear them. 

“Matty what kinky shit does she want you to do this time?” Tom asked.

You sighed at that, especially when you heard chuckles on the other end of the phone. “Surprised you haven’t been on the phone sooner” Ava laughed.

Then Stacy practically shouted, “She’s got a new bed you can help her break in Matty”

“Would you all fuck off, I’m on the phone to George” You practically shouted them into silence.

“Wait, Fit George?” They asked. 

You nod your head, “Yes, Fit George”

“What the fuck?” You heard George say on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah sorry George, you’re pretty famous over here and Ross I have a girlfriend ready and waiting for you, if you’re down” You told them, and you heard them all start laughing.

“Appreciate it, thanks Y/N. But only if it’s you” He joked, and you couldn’t help but giggle at that.

“Ross come over right now and I’ll show you a great time. Matty can vouch for that” You played along and laughed along when you heard them start laughing on the phone.

You drew your attention back to the people around you and noticed that Ava was now sending you fake glares. You smirked at her because she was the one you were going to set Ross up with.

You chuckled down the phone, “I’m only joking Ross, and I’m only saying that I’m joking because I’ve got your soon to be girlfriend sending me daggers right now”

You heard them chuckle down the phone and you murmured, “You have my number Ross, hit me up later babe”

You heard him laugh on the other end of the phone before you heard Ava whine next to you. 

“You can’t fuck a whole band Y/N. Not after last time” Ava said loudly, and you hushed her.

“Wait, you fucked a whole band?” You heard Matty ask and you thought it would be best to end the conversation now.

“Anyway,” You divert from the topic quickly, “Before they force your numbers out of my phone, I’ll leave you guys to it. See you on April Seventh” 

As you said that, you shook your head and glared at Ava. You couldn’t get the grin off your face though.

“See you then. Thanks for sorting it for us Y/N” George chuckled.

“Anytime. I’ll send you all the proper details by text, so I’ll chat to you later” You said as you tried to keep a straight face and not start laughing.

George made you love him even more when he said, “Awesome Y/N/N, thank you so much” 

Bless him. He actually melted your heart.

“Anything for you George,” You cooed before saying a long “Byeeee”

“Cya” You heard them all say before the call was ended. 

Or so you thought.

“So, are you gunna fuck Matty again?” Stacy asked with a grin.

You laughed as you shrugged your shoulders, “Never say never”

Matty heard this through the phone and suddenly he couldn’t wait for his birthday.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @friends-dont-lie-asshole @lololovestaylor @murderousginger @peachquestions @siwiecola @nostalgic1975 @fairyyyfloss @theycallmenefi @colette2194 @maroonmolly @sexycleopatra @mrsprescott @fullmoonremus @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes @bookish0918

Let me know if you want to be tagged x

[sincerelybillie]

this isn’t a monologue

I had asked for a getaway when I arrived at the cabin. My old roommate worked in the city and was too much of a workaholic to reap the benefits of having a place in the woods to escape the sirens and expectations of the metropolis by at least 45 miles. I needed to see what stars looked like, what my own thoughts sounded like.

On the inside, the cabin looked like the set of a 90’s sitcom set in the suburbs. Small, blocky television in the living room, with hardly any matching furniture or drapery. I sighed. I loved it.

Around 11pm, I could tell my body hadn’t gotten tired yet because perhaps being here made me feel more energized and willing to actually stay up late without the reason being that I was going to catch up on work or wrap up a dissatisfying date.

I felt like baking a cake, doing yoga, and starting a screenplay with this newfound solitude and the energy it provided me with. But my options were limited and it had gotten cold out, so I opted for mindlessly bingeing on whatever was on TV, a classic activity of suburban folk.

When I tell you that about halfway through a rerun of a forgettable show, the TV set burst into flames, I am saying that randomly, the TV caught fire and the screen made a popping noise as the flames began engulfing the stand and moving towards me. I panicked, shuffling out of the blanket and flapping it over the flames and throwing it over the fire while I searched for a fire extinguisher. I couldn’t find it, and when I went back to see how bad the situation was getting, I saw that the fire was out. Completely gone. I lifted the blanket, and the TV, stand and all, was there, perfectly fine.

I rubbed my eyes, feeling delusional. Maybe the late nights were catching up with me, but that felt too real. I stepped outside onto the deck to process what I had just apparently hallucinated, and when I did, I was met with bright sunshine and saw the frosty breath escape my mouth as I gasped.

“Billie!” called Lora, dressed for a brisk winter hike or something. She waved at me, and I saw she was with some of our mutual friends. “Why are you still in your pajamas?” she asked, sounding disappointed and like she had been waiting for me.

I had walked up to them, mostly to see if they were real, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I turned around to see Isaac step out of the now snow covered cabin behind me, holding a cup of coffee. He was also in his pajamas. I turned back to Lora who smirked, knowingly.

“Oh, I see.”

I still couldn’t say anything, but I could put together that Isaac and I had apparently slept together. There were a lot of things wrong and disorienting about this situation already, the latest one being that Isaac and I hadn’t spoken in almost three years, since I moved without ever telling him. I had never planned to see him for more than casual chit-chat and sometimes sex. It became clearer to me later that he had felt like a heads up that I was moving to another state would’ve been worth mentioning.

It seemed complicated and honestly out of character for me to be briefly back in town, having moved back to the state and living in a different city, and hook up with him. I would have been seeing someone in my new city, if anyone. I didn’t even have Isaac’s number anymore or any social media connects had this been a booty call. But does that mean I had invited him to the cabin? Lora hadn’t known him, so how else could he have ended up standing on the deck? He looked so content. I felt both pre-guilt and post-guilt for wanting to ice him out again. I wasn’t for this.

Lora was talking with the others, so while she was occupied, I rushed back to the cabin to avoid getting cold and confront Isaac. But I still couldn’t find the words. That didn’t stop the look of disappointment from once again befalling his face. I recognized it because it’s the same face he made when I didn’t kiss him on our first date.

Going to that restaurant has been so awkward for me ever since because my first time was with him, and I could tell he was convinced that promising summer night was going to end with sex. But now, we were here, in the dead of winter, and something had ended or started with sex, I couldn’t tell. Maybe he could actually see my desire to leave this time. And because I was unable to speak, the pity party seemed futile so I changed frequently and rushed outside to get help or some semblance of sanity from Lora. Why couldn’t I speak?

But Lora was gone. Everyone was. I was in my high school graduation outfit now and running late because Rocky (who I only knew from elementary because we didn’t go to the same schools after 5th grade) grabbed me and rushed me to an auditorium of a school I only recognized as one I did a service project in years ago, not one I attended as a student.

“Come on!” she said, and a musical number kicked off. Everyone in the room rushed in circles around the aisles and perimeter of the seats, while others sang onstage. The whole spectacle was chaotic and loud and overwhelming. But I couldn’t bring myself to separate from it or yell in protest or confusion. As we were about to finally take our seats as the song neared its end, I felt myself getting lifted and held in the air, but I didn’t know who was doing it.

When I was placed back down, a hand remained on my back and guided me to my seat. I had lost my graduation cap and was sitting in a disheveled gown, feeling awkward about how exposed my legs were and the fact that I was running, dancing, and being lifted in a dress. Rocky sat smiling next to me, as if this was all normal, and I noticed the person seated on her other side was Hewitt.

I had the most inconveniently long-lasting crush on Hewitt for half of elementary school and well into middle school, and it was so terrible because I guess from even a young age, I self sabotaged my love prospects by being mean or aloof to guys I liked. He had told me I was one of his best friends because I had befriended him first as the new kid and we would always make art together on Fun Fridays. That began to change as girls and guys became more separate within their social groups between ages 10 and 12. He started making fun of the way I looked and throwing dodgeballs at me, even if I wasn’t playing in the game with the others. And then one day he had the audacity to outright ask if I liked him, and I was confused because at one point, I really did and he was my favourite person to see at school. The confrontation threw me off, so I told him, “No, you’re stupid and annoying.” We had faded entirely as friends by then, but made constant eye contact in the halls and sometimes ran into each other outside of school as we got older. It always felt like he was taunting me to admit I had lied.

He didn’t go to my high school, either, so I was wondering why he was at this graduation. I was wondering why I was, too, but that thought got pushed aside by the sight of his face again. He looked at me and seemed kind of tired and sad. Something about the moment we shared, gazing at each other with Rocky blissfully unaware in between, reminded me of Isaac. My friends were usually over-optimistic about my status with the latest guy I was seeing or developed a crush on, and some of the guys themselves were never given the truth or reciprocated feelings. It had always seemed easier and safer for me emotionally to seem like the one who had invested less.

Rocky and I exited the auditorium before I remember ever walking the stage or seeing the caps get thrown in the air or any of the program events one would expect with a commencement ceremony. We walked towards a shopping center and she asked me if I was interested in seeing some high-end clothing and gourmet soaps and food. I didn’t vocally say anything, but she nodded affirmatively, and then we walked into an Asian grocery store/artisan market. I’m not sure what it was, but I spent some wandering the aisles and admiring the foreign packaging. I picked up something, debated shoplifting it, and saw Rocky in another aisle, likely contemplating the same. She looked up, spotting me, and smirked, knowingly.

I felt myself wanting to ask her questions, like if she knew what was going on, but as we exited, she said she had to get back to campus. But it wasn’t the high school campus. She walked towards what resembled the music building at Las Positas College, where I had studied for two years before moving/taking a couple gap years. I don’t remember Rocky ever having attended, though.

She left, and for the first time since the TV catching fire, I was alone.

[oftcnas-blog]

kylie jenner . twenty one . she and her ━━ welcome tanja ‘tana’ brooks ! our sources say you’re a 𝓂𝓊𝓈𝒾𝒸 𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝓈𝓉 and 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓇𝑒𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓃𝑒𝓊𝓇 with a net worth of 26.7m. now that you’ve signed the contract to 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘵𝘦 , fans are thrilled to finally watch you on television and are hoping to see more of your 𝔦𝔪𝔭𝔲𝔩𝔰𝔦𝔳𝔢 yet 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔱𝔢 traits on the show . but please leave your glossy lips, singing loudly in the back of uber’s, and neck kisses at los angeles, california because now , you’re dead broke. vc: ariana grande

asdf basically theres me, and then theres trash and honestly??? the difference is not big at all.. in shorter terms? me and introductions literally do not clash well together at all .. so i do want to apologize for the potential sucky ness ?? and rambles that are bound to happen asdf. on that note, im gigi (or gi) and if you want to know a little more about my baby tana just keep on reading !! 

trigger warning !! gang mention ! drug mention !! 

                                          the synthesis …

◜ scribbles on empty pages that equal pain, anger, and struggle. words that had only been meant for one, carved themselves into the brunettes skin the moment air filled her lungs for the first time .. screams into the air, she formed into a fear that driven those around her. a fear that was so powerful, it made even a king cower. her king. the daughter of a man who ran an empire, was vowed to be protected along with her six other siblings who stood beside her. but the life of crime and danger always tugged at their skin, forced their claws into their flesh. it was an eat or being eaten lifestyle, and without choice tanja brooks was thrown in the middle of it. it was her bloodline. and while her mother wanted to protect and shelter, her father wanted to toughen her skin and wrap the chains of their gang around her feet. she was forced into situations by loyalty, by the love she had for of those around her, by the drive that was forced within her. but, this lifestyle was not always for her. the constant fear, the murder, the dirty hands, the loss, the pain, and the anger, it sat on her shoulders like boulders. the pain and anger that latched on to her and her siblings wrist troubled their mother, at first it was an itch, and then it was a rash, and then it ate at her flesh. she was barely skin and mostly bone when she decided to take her twin boys, tanja, and her four other children out of their fathers arms, lifestyle, and curse.

             the important extras …

her oldest twin brother, has started to get back into the lifestyle their mother has done everything in her power to keep them out of- yet despite the knowledge and knowing for a fact that its not something he should be in she has kept his secret out of loyalty and has lied countless of times to not only his mother for him, but her other siblings as well as his friends and others in his life.

she once filled out a police report on her father, exposing everything he has and everything he has done. of course, it came from a place of anger and hurt, and a way to get back at him for not being in her the way she wants him to be. she never actually filed this report considering it could have gotten her into a lot of trouble with her father and his gang, not just trouble but it could’ve put her on her death bed.

despite the anger and hatred she has for her father, he use to send her along with his other kids money each month; while one of the twins refuses to touch it and her mother forbids it… she and her other siblings have used it to benefit them educational wise, as in paying for college and for their own pleasure such as brand items, cars, spring break trips to bora bora, and whatever else they can get their hands on.

at five years old, tanja had actually witnessed a murder (the reason her mother removed them from her fathers live) and to this day it still lives on in her head. so bad, that she use to have night terrors (and occasionally still does ).

family extras ...

socialites had always been a title the brook family carried, with her father hiding his dirty money behind an luxurious company ? they had always been just that one family everyone tends to talk about here and there for no other reason but because of their wealth and business strategy. 

when tana’s mother took the kids and left, the media framed it as an affair and the family has kind of just ran with that? never denying nor confirming the statement. 

her mom got remarried a few years after to an actor? and he kind of brought more attention to the brooks and their name? 

the kids went from being mob boss babies to? basically accepting their new lifestyle in not just money but fame too.. 

when tana was around sixteen, her father had got arrested on too many charges to count bringing out his gang involvement and other dirty things he has been doing . which at the time was a nightmare, but it brought the brooks family more then they could imagine. 

people wanted to know more? to see more? to learn more? and so, her mom wrote a book and with that interest the brooks were offered an reality show. 

for the last sixish years, the family has been almost like the kardashians? actually just like the kardashians minus the too problematic part.. 

she has six full siblings, two half, and one step and she honestly adores them all with everything in her.

the brook children in their own are all successful? from lawyers, to doctors, to actors/actresses, music artists, designers, and even business men and women.. 

shes also super close with her step father? like she kind of looks to him as her dad and is so grateful for him and all the love he has given her and her mom and sisters and brothers.

career extras ...

she started her following super early on social media? and kind of had her own little fanbase from just being on the show.

shes been singing ever since she was a little girl, but took it serious around the age of seventeen. 

her music career took off pretty quickly? like kind of a big star overnight type situation.

her music company kicked off when she was nineteen, and shes been expanding it ever since.

shes truly passionate about both of her careers, and is just super grateful she has the opportunity to do the two things she loves the most ! 

more extras ( am i ever going to shut up?? )

her name is tanja, but considering the media always got it wrong?? and most assumed it was tana she dropped the j for more of a stage name? 

of course, a lot of her family still calls her by her actual name! but even her close friends call her tana! 

    the personality …

known as the lion hearted, tana is light and love combined with a sense of playfulness and ebullient that you can somehow never get out of your head . she is a big hearted beauty, who loves with her all and as her sibling would tell her loves too hard. good intentions flow throughout her body, and despite her claiming up and down that she doesn’t need anybody she is truly someone who attaches themselves to you. she is always teasing somebody, and has a sense of adventure that surely comes from her upbringing. she feels most at home surrounding by friends, and family. she is someone who will drag you out of bed in the middle of the night for a late night drive with good music, and the first person who’ll jump in front of a bullet for you. she feels deeply, but does not always know how to deal with those feelings. she can be jealous, stubborn, and trust issues are rooted so deeply into her she doesnt know where they begin and she ends. she loves laughing, and feeling alive? which she will do anything to achieve. its like her own little high and shes an addict. an adrenaline junkie her father would call her. she’s affectionate with those she loves, and of course when shes drunk. she craves meaningful connections with those around her, and falls into a darkness when she feels as if shes disconnected. her father left this sense of needing to be needed and wanted within her, but shes dealing.

the connections …

platonic soulmates ! that one person who kind of just completes tana? they understand and connect in a way that even for them its hard to understand. best friends is an understatement. 

best friends ! two other people shes close as can be with. they are truly her number ones, the ill take a bullet for you kind of friendship. 

a girl group ! just a group of girls, tana is always seen with! could also be her best friends ! i just want something cute, close friendship, trouble and good memories. plus all the three way, even four way threads we can do would be magic. 

cousins ! from either her mom side and/or dad side. this could even be a cousin from her step dad side, so step cousins? either way id love all type of relationships. almost like siblings, cant stand one another, you name it, 

family friends ! someone who has known her for as long as she can remember ! they knew all about her father and everything that came with it.. 

childhood friends ! this could be neighbors she grew up playing with or even that one friend she went to elementary/middle/high school with.

the ex lover ! im such an angst kind of person so this will definitely be juicy.. they’ll definitely be her biggest muse.

on and off relationship ! a toxic kind of relationship, someone she truly loves with everything in her but it just never works the way they want it to. 

 musical duo ! someone who just? when they are together its magic. they write together, sing together, collab together, encourage one another and just ! are those people you see and know its going to be a bop. 

friends with benefits ! mutual or one sided . they could be using her, she could be using them. 

one sided friendships and relationships ! 

publicity friendships and relationships !

you can find more wanted connections in this tag !!

[sweetasssuga]

Taegi Fic Recs

personal favorites = ♡

new additions = ϟ

Little Lion Man by mucha [3k] [teen]

Deep down, Yoongi always knew that making rash decisions would one day send him early to his grave.

(Or; Yoongi confesses to Taehyung via text and immediately regrets it)

in all dishonesty by fruitily [3k] [teen] ♡

while taehyung is trying to figure out whether or not min yoongi wants to stab him with a fountain pen, they find out they make an excellent team when it comes to board games.

feelings you provide by sugarlizard [3k] [teen] 

Feeling a little daring, Taehyung slips the ring on his finger. He’s not expecting it to fit, he knows that part of the victorious appeal of this jewelry is it was designed to fit only Yoongi, but instead it slips over the knuckle of his ring finger like a glove.

*

taehyung borrows one of the SUGA diamond rings when he needs a comfort object

help me out by clumsy_taegi [4.6k] [teen] ϟ

Taehyung talks Yoongi into helping him rehearse for a play.

Of Handlebars and Heartbreak by bananamilks [5.5k] [teen] 

Totally unprepared are you, to face a world of men.

[or, the mutual pining fic in which: one of them is in denial, one is oblivious, and both of them are idiots]

caught in a lie by booksinaballroom [5.6k] [teen] 

Ten years, one acting degree, and a frankly embarrassing amount of student debt later, his plans have...changed, a bit. Turns out waiting for callbacks from Colgate toothpaste commercials and roles as extras in dramas isn’t exactly lucrative. Certainly not lucrative enough to pay off his mountainous student debt.

Which is why he has turned to a spinoff of the acting industry. The underground of the acting industry, if you will. A place to hone his skills while raking in plenty of cash. A high-stakes challenge, something that tests and proves his ability to perform under pressure.

In other words, Taehyung is what might be better known as a con artist.

(soulmate au: you can't lie to your soulmate)

A Different Kind of Magic by tryst [5.8k] [teen] ♡ 

Wherein, Taehyung doesn't really need extra Potions help, but could definitely use a hug and Yoongi is pretty indifferent about being a tutor, but is down to hold hands.

my heart flutters from the sugar high by hoars [5.9k] [mature]

Yoongi and Taehyung sneak around together, cheating on their diets. The group? They’ve drawn different conclusions.

Birds in Your Heart by m_aur_a [6k] [not rated] 

Origami cranes with cute, if kitschy, words of advice are popping up on campus. Yoongi is struggling with a lot right now, but they help. So does the pretty boy that leaves them.

Ring the Hogwarts Bell by mucha [6k] [general audiences] 

“No, it’s fine,” Taehyung interrupted him, circling his fingers around Jimin’s wrist and squeezing reassuringly. “It’s just a few days, I’ll be okay.”

It was the furthest thing from truth, though. Christmas was always his favorite holiday and in his mind, it was irreversibly connected to home and family and watching silly Christmas movies with a mug of hot chocolate in his hand and his puppy, Yeontan, in his lap. He was hoping that maybe at least one of his friends would be staying in school too, but that hope quickly vanished when he checked the list in the common room and saw no familiar names. Well, he saw one familiar name but it belonged to someone Taehyung had never spoken to, so it didn’t matter anyway.

As if he could read Taehyung’s mind, Jimin spoke up again:

“I noticed that Yoongi is staying at Hogwarts too.”

(Taehyung spends his Christmas at Hogwarts and makes a new friend)

human by awsuga [7.7k] [mature]

Taehyung almost kills the most beautiful mortal he has ever seen.

yesterday’s tomorrow by locks [8k] [mature] ♡

Yoongi just wants to get through the night with his pride intact.

Enter Kim Taehyung.

Or, the one where they used to date and meet again at their ten year high school reunion.

but not for me by raviolijouster [8k] [teen] ♡ 

Taehyung’s straightforward, he thinks. A 2 + 2 = 4 kind of guy. He’s just not always sure that his 2’s are other people’s 2’s. Sometimes it seems like they might be 3’s. Or 7’s. But Yoongi’s 2’s are the same 2’s, they’re just in italics, size 8 font, while Taehyung’s are in bold and size 72.

or,

People think Yoongi and Taehyung are dating. Taehyung wishes they were.

ring ding dong by chlexcer [8k] [explicit]

the one where taehyung loses his precious gucci ring the very first time he meets yoongi, but he doesn't lose it just anywhere, oh no— he loses it inside of yoongi.

By Tomorrow by Oh_Hey_Tae [10.6k] [teen]

“Why are you freaking out now?” Seokjin asks, and the seconds tick by and suddenly the atmosphere shifts. “Ahh, I get it.”

Yoongi perks up, swivels, spots Taehyung stepping from the hall into the room and he’s in fitted slacks and the baby blue button-up from earlier and he looks divine.

Yoongi’s heart just stopped and he’s not sure how to get it beating again. Namjoon’s a doctor. A doctor in training, but some form of medical professional regardless. Namjoon knows CPR and cardiac arrest symptoms and all that shit. He’ll know Yoongi’s dying.

“Perfect timing. Let’s eat.”

Or he’s going to wink at Yoongi and send suggestive eyebrow raises the whole night. Great. Fabulous.

(Or: Yoongi loves Taehyung and Taehyung loves Yoongi and somewhere along the way they figure that out.)

neons and watercolors by aimandignite [12.6k] [explicit] 

“Do you stare at the sky in the middle of roads at night often?” he asks.

Yoongi shrugs. “Do you join random people staring at the sky in the middle of roads at night often?” He glances at the guy and his heart slams in his chest at the wide smile he sees.

“I’m Taehyung. Everyone calls me Tae though.”

Yoongi nods slowly, “Yoongi.”

Tae seems to repeat the name to himself, carefully remembering how it feels in his mouth. Yoongi can’t look away. “Yoongi? Do you want to get out of the middle of the road and get hot cocoa?”

812 (rock my world) by aileron [13k] [explicit] ϟ

Jimin sniffs in a way that lets Taehyung know he’s an ungrateful brat. “Look, some people would pay good money to get a free pass that allows them right in front of the stage and hence right under the nose of Min Yoongi.”

“Min who?”

Jimin waves his hand dismissively. “The rock star you couldn’t care less about but whose face you have to stare at through your camera lens tonight.”

Taehyung slings his camera bag on his shoulder and shoves the press pass into his back pocket. “Sure, whatever. Just point me in his direction when we get there.”

- or: the fic where Taehyung thinks Yoongi is an arrogant piece of shit (albeit a hot one), but as Jimin puts it, “Which memory is going to be more awesome to look back to when you’re eighty: the time when you went and fucked a rock star or the time when you didn’t and went home instead?”

Chasing the Sun by almostsophie1 [17.6k] [mature] ϟ

Yoongi calls it a phenomena.

Whatever it is, it brings Taehyung to Yoongi again and again, twining their lives together. If it's a kind of magic, it's not one that Yoongi understands. But it pulls Taehyung to him and him to Taehyung, and somehow that's all that matters.

Out to Lunch by roebling [19k] [teen]

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Taehyung is not above taking a soul-killing office job solely for the benefits. The drab cubicle he now calls home is bad enough, but his new boss Yoongi is possibly a robot and definitely an asshole. Vision and dental coverage are enticing, but Taehyung’s not sure how long he can stick this out.

Siren of the Interstate by fringecity (indiachick) [23k] [mature] ϟ ♡ 

Yoongi is a traveling salesman circling the same set of weird towns and highways. Taehyung is a gas-station clerk in the middle of nowhere.

"Won’t space be lonely?” Yoongi asks. Taehyung shrugs—Yoongi can feel him move beside him, just a finger-breadth away. “It’s lonely down here too.”

Heart of the Matter by fringecity (indiachick) [33k] [teen] ♡ 

Disaster witch Kim Taehyung meets perfect senior Min Yoongi in the poison greenhouses of witch school. Years later, Taehyung owns a clinic that fixes hearts, Yoongi has a celebrated apothecary, and they (don't) get along.

Harry Potter-ish, but not in that universe.

A Breeze Blows, and My Heart Swells by roebling [36.6k] [teen] ϟ

Former Idol Min Yoongi is struggling to write his next album. He knows he'll never live up to the success of his first solo outing, and the pressure is getting to him. After a series of minor scandals, his manager and best friend Jimin ships him off to Harmony Retreat, an ecotourism resort deep in the Daegu countryside. With electronics strictly forbidden and no company but a rooster, a dog, and his eccentric host Kim Taehyung, Yoongi's not sure how he's going to get through this -- let alone write a hit song.

a spoonful of suga by ellievolia [38.6k] [explicit] ϟ ♡ 

“Good evening, ladies and gents. You’re listening to First, the premium digital station, and this is Spoonful of Suga, hosted by your very own Suga. Relax, let the music do its job. We’ll be taking requests later, but first, please enjoy the next uninterrupted half hour of music.”

Min Yoongi, a late night radio show host, has a regular caller. He also has busybody best friends, too much music on his playlists, dreams that feel too big for his heart, and a genius dog.

Kim Taehyung works nights as a mortuary cosmetologist, likes to listen to the radio, and he also has a genius dog.

Say My Name (And I'll Lie in the Sound) by fadetomorrow [51k] [explicit] ♡ 

Taehyung wakes up 500 years in the past and catches feelings for a Joseon prince.

The Romance of Old Clothes by fringecity (indiachick) [59.6k] [explicit] ♡ 

Min Yoongi is an art director with zero tolerance for bullshit, looking for ultimate perfection in everything he creates. Kim Taehyung is the co-owner of a vintage fashion boutique who talks to clothes and learns magic from Tumblr.

It’s a match made in the depths of hell.

[“Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin says, wily and soft, “You’re not scared of meeting Yoongi, are you?” Taehyung knows this is bait. Seokjin knows this is bait. Even Yeontan, running circles around Taehyung now, knows this is bait. His angry brows are very expressive, and right now they’re saying 'don’t take the bait, don’t be a stupid fish.' Taehyung's a stupid fish.]