#like im already in hell might as well...
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Thinking about going back for my masters because what's a little more debt
#i'm in a constant back and forth over this#like im already in hell might as well...#i just can't keep working at a job that doesn't even pay enough for a single apartment#but that really says more about the climate than anything because I earn well above minimum wage#addy.txt
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look i know this month has been crazy already in what has been going on for me BUT IT GETS CRAZIER... I got to finally have my constant pain I've had for two years diagnosed... I have fibromyalgia lol i have a chronic illness??😭😭
tbf it doesn't change anything i was already coping with these pains because I've been sitting with em for 2 years i just have anti depressants now but you know what has changed... my character lore GOT SICK AS FUCK!!!!!!!🦅🦅🦅🦅 (lighthearted)
#not art#i feel like someones oc rn#wdym i have a higher sense of pain and i feel physical pain when i get stressed that sounds like what i did to my ocs at 10 for lore LMAO#on top of that i got told i have hyperelasticity and got told... hm yeah thats probably why you wear glasses#THEN HE PROCEEDS TO EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN WRONG WITH MY EYES FOR YEARS WHAT THE FUCK#born to be blind ig i guess it wasnt that damn phone after all/joke#not gonna lie i kinda saw fibromyalgia coming because my family does have a history of it but still damn#im taking it pretty well rn but i was very mortified at the prospect of a chronic illness but. whatever im already coping well#AGAIN THIS DOES NOT CHANGE ANYTHING LOL i just think its crazy as hell#character lore got sick as hell this month i got into a car crash them boom you have chronic illness that is basically a disability#also you have funny nerves hehe you can stretch funny AND THAT MAKES YOU BLIND#i feel like someones oc#(not reallt a car crash almost was but. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN WITH HOW I WAS LEFT???)
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I cannot rely on one person for me to be happy my happiness isn't allowed to be only triggered by one person I can be happy at every little thing it doesn't matter about this one person
#im in too far fucking deep again#and when he leaves again its gonna hurt just as much. but more.#finch posts#he makes me happy beyond belief and i goddamn love having a friend who knows me inside out and has done for so long#but. your love is my drug by kesha comes to mind. its fucking intoxicating talking to him#and last time he left (we were 12 and his parents moved their family) it made me kinda depressed and i was so fucking needy to talk to him#and now we're three and a half months into rekindling the friendship and i feel the same like i get really sad already >#>if i just dont talk to him for a couple of days without like a trip or friends or smthn else to entertain me#songs are starting to remind me of him#fuck fuck fuck#1am in the morning makes me too honrst#i think im still a bit (a lot) in love with them#ohmygod i dont even think it i know it#i should go to sleep earlier#it would stop me having so many thoughts#i havent seen him in multiple years but i can still imagine kissing him#oh fucking hell fuck my actual whole fucking life#and his closest friend where he lives now well they were starting to be a bit of a thing and surely its not fucking normal>#>to daydream about kissing a girl who ive literally never seen a photo of#holy fucking hell i am such a hopeless poly bisexual#WHY DONT WE REWRITE THE STARSSSS#oh this is circling round to my suspicions i might be kinda like demi romantic??#i should buy myself flowers . wait. no. i grow flowers 🫠#well i could still buy myself flowers . and i should#i need to go to the beach#cant wait to get a proper drivers license#if youve made it this far down my crisis hi youve gotten to the stage where u can tell what songs im listening to!
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My recent take has inspired me to make a list of Wizard101's most fuckable spells. I will regret this when I'm elderly.
#everyday i run the risk of kingsisle seeing these posts and banning me from the game and the fandom and also tumblr#didnt someone make that treefucker tier list post inspired by tree fucker anon? im gonna do that but with the spells#when i made that monsterfucker poll i was NOT playing around. silly fools. i will show you how SERIOUS i was#im just gonna expose myself to the world like that huh. huh. really.#there should be a psychologist that approves a study for people wanting to fuck robots/aliens/monsters. like freud but less weird#my face would be there under that study. as a picture. and this post will inspire that study.#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#im already going to hell i might as well have fun while i can /j
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the like only other woman knight at the castle apart from seraph. her name is pennyroyal (or penny)
#talks#shes actually straight but shes like Hell the rumors already hold that im into women i might as well have been but alas#the gods did not make me so. ;)#knight oc
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the fact that the high table would be DECIMATED if it was prime john wick they were facing
#john wick#this man is constantly BATTERED#he gets beat up by iosef and his squad after his wife dies#so he’s both in a BAD mental state and physical state#second movie he’s practically homeless#fucking SUSTAINS BURNS#hunts down a WHOLE MAFIA#AND THE FIRST AND SECOND MOVIES ARE BACK TO BACK#so ALREADY#iosef and santino were facing against john wick who is NOT doing well#just imagine prime john wick like goddamn#im talking NO mental health problem#NO fucked up bones#NO head injury and brain damage#and he gets ACTUAL food#if iosef fucked with john five years earlier#the entire criminal underworld would be in shambles#santino would be DEAD just tomorrow after gianna#hell he might not even MAKE IT to the continental if it was prime wick#and prime wick could have reached sacre coeur way earlier#mf would have loaded that gun and beat the marquis#like this is exactly WHY viggo is so scared of him#the other antagonists do not get it#because viggo knows what damage john wick could do in his prime
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thinking about that fictional traumatized autistic middle-aged man again
#(nicholas rush)#well. really thinking about the autistic coding of that man. especially in the way that he communicates#and the ways in which he fails to communicate to those around him#and is often considered to be lying or untruthful despite being entirely sincere#but the ways in which he prioritizes information and then communicates said information to those around him is off-putting to them#and thus frequently untrusted#but the thing about nicholas rush is that he is a) autistic (i refuse to believe otherwise) and b) an asshole#so there are times when he is being a sketchy manipulative asshole. but that's not all the time#and there are vivid (to me at least) differences between his being an asshole and his actual (autistic) communication failures#differences that are not so visible to the other characters in the show. especially young. and i could go on and on about the ways in which#rush and young interact and (fail to) communicate. but that's a ramble for another post#but because young already has such a negative view of rush any and all communication issues. autistic or asshole. will be taken as#antagonisticly as possible. no benefit of the doubt. which not only adds conflict and interest to the story. but with the way it's portrayed#is so satisfying to watch play out. and also kind of relatable because trying to explain yourself to an allistic person is already hell.#trying to explain yourself to an allistic who doesnt like you? might as well leave me to die on an alien planet. thatd be less painful#anyway idk what im saying anymore i got so off track. i might write a more refined and coherent ramble about this at another time#but for now it's 1am and im sleep deprived#anyway#nicholas rush#sgu
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meenah: yo harley call in the LOBsTERs
jade: ok!! *she whispers something into her crab comms*
a comically large amount of lobsters proceeds to fall on them
#homestuck#beyond canon#kinda spoilers i guess#homestuck spoilers#yoo someone who can draw please make this into a comic#i mean ill make this into a shitty jpg comic when i come back home but an actually good one would be greatly appreciated#cause the sheer comedic value of this scene that my mind formed overhelms me#also just for clarification the lobsters falling on them are the aquatic animals not the spec ops unit#also i guess this isnt really a spoiler but whatever#homestuck: beyond canon#shit now that im looking again at this post its comedic value is actually shitty#this shizz aint even that funny#but whatever i already wrote this so i might as well post it#also this is like way too many tags for such a short post thats also unfunny as hell but hey it is what it is#so yeah if you read all da tags i gotta admit you a real one#AND if you think the joke isnt the single most unfunny act of wit in existance then you the REALEST one my homie#yo yall also sorry for usin the wrong color for meenah but tumblr aint got meenahs color :((#this is the closest one to meenahs color ig
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I havent really been into the current state of the JJK manga for a while, im at the point where its ending might hold some value for me as someone who was already invested in the characters but largely aside from seeing how a few things pan out I just really really couldn't care less.
that being said I have to thank gege for every new chapter giving us more and more good looking Gojos. the more feral and covered in blood the better, and hoo boy am I getting that.
#god can he just kill sukuna already tho. like idc about this I want gojo v kenjaku#im of two minds on the megumi thing bc I do think its weird that gojo hasn't had any strong thoughts about potentially killing megumi#(tho i do think gege is like. holding them back rather than ignoring them) but I also think the fandom forgets their canon relationship#like yeah its nice to imagine them as a wholesome family but I dont think they even think of themselves as father and son at all lol#guardian and ward morelike. and I do think gojo was a decent guardian but I also dont think that recently traumatized and also annoying#teen gojo was ever like. very emotionally available or comforting. not to say it shouldn't be expected for gojo to be upset about this but#also I think people can get a little too wrapped up in their wholesome family pics. bc for one you can bet your ass gege doesnt care about#tsumiki enough to consider whether gojo was technically her guardian as well and how he'd care about her fate. or even nobaras it seems#holding out for gojo to be simply repressing his feelings and it biting him in the ass later but idk#he DID look strained when realizing megumis soul recognized ultimate void tho :(((( that does make me said :((((((#anyways sukuna was a fine enough villain for me but ngl hes gotten a lil annoying likewhatevs dude idc. kenjaku is hells more cunty than you#normally I wouldn't mind his shallow motives and didnt bc he was a threat that contributed to the plot but now that hes out and running#loose hes just so boring idk. like you're just gonna fight stuff. ok. lame. kenjaku vs gojo might actually have some emotional weight to it#idc about this fight and idc about sukuna#like when gojo mentioned his students and they all grinned. that! that that that he cares about them ok gege!#jujutsu kaisen#jjk 230
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Every guy in Yakuza seems like they have enough social awkwardness for Tien to role his eyes at…
there's no feasible chance on earth any man can be more awkward than mountain man tien I'm Going To Hide From My Friends Every Other Year And Then For A Decade After Telling Them I'd Never See Them Again For No Apparent Reason And Only Coming Back Cause the World Was Literally Ending shinhan
#snap chats#i already hear someone go 'what about kiryu' girl he didnt last five years before getting involved again#jo's prob a contender tho. tbh.#anyway i just got back from the fnaf movie#first off please remind me to stop going out to places with kayla i might as well be going by myself#does not help that she walks slow as shit like bro dont make me walk this turtle-ass pace#good things came of the trip tho :) first of all im broke 🧍♂️ since when did movies get so expensive I DIDNT EVEN GET FOOD#i did get a kirby gacha tho :) inflation's starting to hit the gacha machines now too tho what the fuck 😭#last time it was less expensive than the time before and now this is the most exp its been......#wow its not just luck on what you pull its luck on how much money youre dropping BYE#whatever i dont need groceries anyways. really i dont i swear i did all my budgeting this month already#on the bright side i picked up 25 cents collectively today :) might as well call me a millionaire already#ANYWAY someone give me an excuse to post the new kirby he's cute and his feet are a weird color#o my god i didnt even talk about the movie wait. fuck.#watching jp movies and media has been terrible for my us viewing experience cause it just makes it so abundant how.#AUDIBLE us movies are. and the camera cuts jesus fucking christ i could turn it into a drinking game#what's my verdict tho ????? tbh i thought it was cute. im still in awe of the suits tho if anything i give the movie full props for that#heh. props. get it. fr tho i love practical effects and yk what ill take it. cupcake was goofy as hell ngl but ill take it#highkey forgot coreykenshin was in the movie so it was cute being reminded he was there :) love him..#honestly it really was a movie for fans of fnaf already and i aint gonna act like i wasnt a fan of the series in its early years#def not a movie to watch on its own- not that the plot's incomprehensible otherwise but it prob just wont hit#like matpat and corey being there was neat and the credits song took me WAAAY back to when that song first dropped on youtube LOL#sorry ive turned these tags into a fnaf movie review. kayla didnt talk about it with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere LOL#im running out of tags Anyway i solemnly swear to only talk bout movies that ft mates that star in rgg henceforth <3#im lying of course. i dont know how to shut up <3 but ill shut up rn im making dinner. movie made me hungry for bacon....
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btw. i dont think i'll forget, but Just In Case, i DO have art (nothing crazy) i wanna post for the 16th. but i also have a lot to take care of right before then. so if you dont see it by like 6pm EST please yell at me bc i probably got busy and forgot
#6pm is a fine time bc all my stuff is due at 5pm so it wont be interrupting me. i have a meeting i have to go to at 9pm tho#i could just queue the posts but i might make some last second changes once i get a good look at them#(cant get a good look rn. i am posting on tumblr between writing capstone stuff to keep my sanity up)#i would love to log on and like. reminisce on stuff. but idk if i'll have the time or the energy :/#but i WILL reblog a bunch of old posts on this blog. you've seen them 20 times already but one more wont hurt#kjfhdg i love reblogging old posts#again i'll be busy and exhausted probably so idk when but it Will happen. even if it's at like 11pm#resistance day hehe :]#chat#i have like. one more section to write. but it's so information heavy aaaaaaaugh#im on page 12 (single spaced btw. hell) but i wanted to hit like 14 :( oh well hopefully it wont be a big deal#my draft was also 12 pages... but in my defense. i did choose to write my draft in full sentences for some reason#so i feel like that padded the size out a lot#12 pages is probably fine right-#i feel like the final should be longer than the draft but. man i lined out exactly what i'd be saying in that draft. u get what u see#YOU made the mistake of telling me my draft was fantastic. cant fix perfection amen (i hate this paper)
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can you bitches recommend raiden & scara fluff 2 me bcuz i’ve fallen into the hole and can’t get out not that i tried thanks in advance :-)
#i'm usually more eloquent than this teehee#but im tired and its late and im upset cuz i want shogun but likely wont get her *sad face*#also i'm blaming y'all for me calling him scara#i hate most fandom-given names and swore to never call him that but damn it i've done multiple times now#genshin impact#scaramouche#raiden shogun#raiden ei#wanderer#i might have lost me mind oh well :-(#sorry if you dislike being called bitch#i don't mean it in an insulting way i just enjoy the word#i'm usually slightly more normal than this teehee#i should probably go to sleep#by the way don't recommend stuff by tiangou because i've already read all of it#also only recommend ao3 things unless there's a really good fic/fics on another site#also also go read tiangou ei and scaramouche collection because it's good as hell#this is the most tags i've ever tagged i believe teehee#okay bye love you sleep well <3#OK WAIT I HATE TOTAL ANGST SO PLZ DON'T REC THAT EITHER#will likely cringe at this later :'(
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i cannot and will not be getting over luosty choosing mikksy as the guy who scores the first goal in the homeopener and trying to keep a straight face about it and failing
bless his brattiness and his "im gonna make fun of mikksy" face
#luosty is so terribly bratty and it comes up in the funniest of ways#and mikksy lets him get away with it every single damn time because hes so whipped#luosty knows who are the easiest victims and uses that knowledge liberally#can you believe its mikksy i sure can#i just think theres merit to the queerplatonic we somehow got quitely married without realising it until we woke up in the same bed#and your pet was snug between us and in my groggy state thought this is what family feels like type of relationship you know#the i dont really cuddle like this but you bat your eyelashes at me and say oops i shouldve asked if it was okay before you cuddled up to my#chest but you dont make any effort to move and i dont particularly mind as much as i thought i would but i dont say that and instead say#“its fine. youre already there. might as well” and i hope to god you dont feel how fast my heart is crashing against my ribcage right now#but it doesn't particularly matter when you fall asleep a couple of minutes later and i sigh in relief-type of relationship#the we came from the beach and its nighttime and you get cold easily so i shuck off my extra layer and tell you i run hot and i was feeling#stuffy anyways despite the fact i was feeling the night chill as much as you do but its fine when i have my arm around you#i dont really feel cold at all-type of relationship#the i get embarrassed easily and you know that which is why you tease me to hell and back in front of new friends you introduce me to so#they know im not as intimidating as i first appear and really im just terribly awkward#and i fall for the bait you set out everytime-type of relationship#representation and all that
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Thinking abt my nuggets again. Explodes them.
#rat rambles#oc posting#in particular Im thinking abt my girl ding shes my best friend#I actually have been thinking abt giving her a funky design if I do eventually draw her but I am facing one key issue#she has like. no ego gifts.#which is sad! I wanna play around with ego gifts more! most of my main guys have boring gifts!#I could just pick her out some but that feels like cheating I wanna work with what I get y'know?#but I dont have her working on anything so she'll probably never get any naturally#so alternatively I could do some like. number generator scenanigans to chose like 3 random gifts to give her#that way I dont get to chose and am forced to work with what I get#which Ill probably do but Ill have to blacklist a few gifts (mainly the eye covering ones since thats an important part of her design)#I might also do this with some of my other gift lacking guys that might help rhem gain some favor with me#Im quite attached to most of my older nuggets but theres only like 3 or 4 of my newer ones Ive been able to click with#and by newer I mean from like the middle of my second runthrough (Im currently on first day reset number 4)#so thats not a good sign for any of them#well tbf a decent chunk of the newest ones are from the last run through so those guys genuinely are quite new#anyways maybe giving them somw gifts will give me more inspiration to actually think of stuff for them#the siblings are the only ones that I have any attachment to right now of the last two batches and ema is lucky to be one I like#and my girl ding earned her position in this corporation so Im obligated to adore her#for context she was one of various nuggets I made to sacrifice to grind out tool abnormality info#but she somehow managed to survive one that I fully expected her to die to so she gets to stay#one of the other ones also got to stay but thats just because I had enough info for we can change anything already#and by stay I mean sit in storage for the rest of time because I think it's funny#he was my guy for whatever the hell the weapon upgrading one is called#for the non leathal ones I just had most of them finish the research and then go to we can cange everything#but he lucked out and got to live#the others didnt tho so rip to them#at least my tool grind is officially complete and I dont have to worry abt it anymore#I also am in general really close to being done with my abno info hunt#I even defeated apocalypse bird a lil while ago so I basically only have white knight to worry abt now
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characters: lets live together
people on tumblr: this of course means theyre canonically having sex, no what are you talking about i dont do headcanons my blog is all stuff based on canon
#yes i could very well just bloody forget about it and move on but i dont feel like it#it was a post i saw ages ago one of those random things that comes back to irritate you#oh look 3:36 and i still havent started that bloody essay#i mean all im doing is vauging which is perfectly find im not bothering the person who posted it or anything#like i was but im not now cause i made a fake apology then felt bad about nit sticking with it when i got a reply#wtf#i mean i do think im better off not doing that now cause it was sort of rubbish#now if i just completely forgot about all of this and went and got an actual life how much better#it wasnt about this specific thing btw just like general boredom and stuff obviously im not sending hate over something this petty#i mean it actually started with a reply to an anon ask i sent where i made an effort to be polite even though i already found those opinion#really annoying and thr reply was slightly rude so i was ruder back and then sent an even ruder one#then a couple of months later i was bored and for some reason i really dont know decided the best entertainment was sending random asks the#anyway another update its 3:43 and i still havent started that essay#not doing it the first time is why ive got to redo it#i applied for am extension cause i had 2 same day and i couldnt make myselflike i lyed and said mental health issues only dont actually kno#if i really was lying and just lazy or if i actually had mental health issues then during thd extension i got really bad toothache and coul#nt do anything not even sleep and it lasted for almost two days and i did one but i was too lazy and tired i couldnt eveb be bothered to#apply for special consideration even though i wouldve got it cause it meant getting a doctors note and its so much effort abd the waiting#lists are fucking ridiculous and i might not have got it and when i called about the toothache they said fuck off and see a dentist which#you have to pay for and also probably has a waiting list so i was just like fuck off ill just redo it even though it fucks some score or#other up i dont remember what it all means i better not bloody lose any money over this fucking hell#and my batterys only 4% now#i should get an award for how off topic can you get on a tumblr post#also how boring#and how much i repreat stuff
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.
#well uh#SO MUCH FOR TALKING THINGS OUT WITH HIM I FUCKING GUESS#nothere stuff and his own brainbastard decided to ruin that plan so uh.....gotta wait another week i fucking guess#im so tired of holding in the urge to talk things out with him just so fucking tired#also i hate to say it but ngl smile might have his bastard beat? idk really dont wanna compare them but at least his doesnt seem relentless#which is good because jfc he already has a hard enough time as is??he really doesnt need some asshole getting worse holy shit dude#hell im halfsure that his bastard is lying to me or at least twisting the truth....doesnt seem honest at all tbh (or maybe just like mine)#jfc now i have even more to talk to him about gdi#why the fuck did he split his own smiley why
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