#like im actually probably gonna finish it today/tomorrow
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jonny-b-meowborn · 1 year ago
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In my Embracing my Kinks era
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dallonwrites · 1 year ago
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lately my only goal w my writing sessions is just to do whatever i need to feel good and set myself up for success w the next writing session and it feels kind of like basic advice but i seriously never gave specific focus to that and it's kinda life changing lol
#like i'll have specific goals like finish this story draft or write this many words finish this scene/chapter etc#but if i dont feel like i can make that happen i try not to see it as a failure and just reroute it into#okay what do i need to do to make sure i get closer to that tomorrow#or will make it easiest for me to get back into it tomorrow/what will set me up for success tomorrow#actually v clearly focusing on THAT instead of focusing on what i DIDNT do right now makes the whole#thing feel easier overall AND makes me feel like i can actually continue to get closer to Finishing The Thing#and i make it very tangible like how much do i need to write that also accommodates my abilities today. or do i just need to write a quick#outline or just the first line etc#i dont think im gonna finish this micro first draft tonight so i thought what can i do that will help ensure i (hopefully) can tomorrow#and it was just write all the lines that are in my brain out on the page. like no matter what i can do that n i probably can do more#like i have specific goals and self imposed deadlines so im trying to get things done by certain times but giving myself grace with it so i#dont burn myself out in the process#also trying to plan in advance so i never Have to do something By The Next Day that i dont think i can do#this is what helped me finish my dissertation LOL#i realised it was far more beneficial to not force myself over my limits for that day but set myself up for success the next day#i would be like “i need to do this but i know it will be easier to do it with a refreshed mind tomorrow”#and i kept thinking “getting a good nights sleep will help me more tomorrow than forcing myself to write/edit more”#“so i have less to do tomorrow”. like okay maybe id have less to do but id also have less brain power bc i overexerted myself!#which then turned into okay what else can i do to ensure success tomorrow etc#like im tired tonight! my brain isnt working! but i know i can do things that will make me more motivated to write tomorrow#and that in itself is a success. no failure in writing as long as you are taking care of and helping yourself#instead of isolating every writing session into a single Okay How Much Can I Do Today#but acknowledging how a string of writing sessions work together. some have more production some dont#and working with that
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featherymainffins · 9 months ago
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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kuiinncedes · 2 years ago
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nvfhjjgdkf
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taxed-up-trotter · 9 months ago
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Bonus panel + info dumping
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i was gonna render this today but then i remembered i have finales tomorrow but i really wanted to post this today and then it hit me that i am bound by no rules and i can post whatever i want, finished or not JHJKHDSF (i will probably come back later tomorrow to finish this though)
OK SO ANYWAYS this is my first time posting anything story related about my hanahaki + amnesia au so lemme introduce it to you :P
So in this au lamb chose to give up the crown for narinders freedom, however he isnt happy about this, he knows he should but all he feels is guilt and the 2 got into a conflict of "This isnt right, i dont want you to sacrifice your life for me." and "My life is not worth your freedom."
long story short they both came to an agreement (to the cats dismay) and narinder guided the lamb to the afterlife, EXCEPT this isnt really the afterlife, but its sort of like purgatory, lamb cant rest yet cause they still have unresolved feelings for narinder so they had the option to either accept it, leaving them to the actual after life or deny it, leaving them to reincarnate. lamb ofc chose the latter
They wake up centuries later in an unknown place with their memories wiped out not too long after they stubled upon a graveyard of some sorts and found a cat holding a bouquet while standing next to a grave labelled "lambert"
lamb asked where they are and after a bit of shellshock from narinder he finally responded the 2 quickly became acquainted (though he doesnt tell lamb abt his true identity) w/ each other, narinder offers lamb a place to stay
JSHDKFD thats all i could tell u in this post for now, im not used to info dumping myself so im sorry if tis sounds confusing HDSF
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newtkive · 11 months ago
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shift shenanigans - s1 social media au
note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.
warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry
part two
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liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others
chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁
see all 8 comments
syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n
↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me
↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///
marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.
↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular
↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start
richietheking: Where am I?
↳ chefboyardee: ya motha
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liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others
richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.
see all 8 comments
marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.
↳ richietheking: You already know it man.
syd_adamu: this is actually crazy
carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.
↳ richietheking: Delete your life.
chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝
↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.
↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.
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WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩
[ 8:25 am ]
y/n:
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bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.
marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy
DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.
syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school
DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.
y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie
richie poo: ????? What
y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols
marcus: valid
syd: real
richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude
y/n: cuz you piss me off
and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday
richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.
syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?
richie poo: Fuck off.
y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.
marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n
y/n: don’t remind me
syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas
richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook
tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.
syd: hey! i’m just being helpful
y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings
marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares
y/n: great i’m gonna cry now
syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine
richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.
y/n: oh great
tina: Help us all.
syd: be nice you guys
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WORK
[ 9:15 am ]
carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
syd: ok sounds good
richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media
tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??
carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts
marcus: facebook is crazy
richie poo: I can’t go private
y/n: he needs the likes
richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why
y/n: liar
richie poo: 😑I don’t like you
carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.
marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie
carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.
richie poo: Fine, whatever
y/n: carmy
carmy: What, Y/n?
y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real
carmy: I don’t care Y/n.
y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’
oh
syd: ? why the oh
y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes
carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later
y/n: OMG yes chef 😍
richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work
y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass
jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face
carmy: Stop
y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳
i heard your giggle tho
richie poo: Again with the schizo episode
syd: you can’t say that richie
richie poo: Oh sorry
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binniebakery · 11 months ago
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lights off
College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~
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7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.
"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.
the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.
the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.
"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.
his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.
"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.
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microwave-core · 1 year ago
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I was gonna caption this something like "hard at work" and be like teehee teaser image but the quality is so weird and it was very staged and I didn't realize it was weird until I already sat down again after putting everything back so deal with it. Anyways
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girk night
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Today's the day
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definitelynotshouting · 3 months ago
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(completely clueless about mcyt i just like isat and stumbled across the works using your prompts) what is temtober and have you posted the prompts list you made anywhere?
EIFBKSSN I WAS WONDERING WHEN I WAS GONNA GET AN ASK ON THIS
my beloved friend @/isjasz was lamenting yesterday that she couldnt find an alternative inktober prompt list that sparked joy and, well. I actually love cooking up prompts, so i offered to make her a custom prompt list!! I spent all day yesterday on it and today my lovely friends @/kunehokki and @/corvidaearts dove in to make me a cute graphic so i can post the whole list for everybody else to try. The prompts i created also function as a poem when read all together, bc after i made them i saw an opportunity and i never say no to getting a little crazy 😂😂😂
Im waiting for the graphic to get finished before i post the entire list, but here are the first three since it probably wont be posted until tomorrow:
revealing your nature
on the edge of a knife
one eye open
If anybody else decides to try my prompts for the month, please tag me!!! I desperately wanna see what yall make :D
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vees-genshin-blog · 2 months ago
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Daily Genshin 14 (Double Update)
Warning: THERE ARE 5.1 SPOILERS HERE. I HAVE GOTTEN FARTHER IN THE QUEST.
Second part of the double update, Day 14 is here!!
I collected crystal cores and condensed resin and collected dailies and stuff. The main stuff I did was ADVANCING ON THE STORY QUEST!!!! So I actually took note of my reactions while doing it, though I actually couldn't finish it, but I will do my best to finish it tomorrow 😤. Everything in bold after this paragraph is my live reaction so I hope you guys enjoy!! In parentheses, I'll add context or later thoughts.
I feel like I'm the one getting scolded 😭😭. (I felt that scolding in my soul. Especially the part where she saying how it's like things go in one ear and out the other... yeah I've heard that way too many times 😔)
Drunk Citlali 😂😂😂 (Enough said here)
Ororon was gonna be sacrificed as a baby !?!?!?!😭😭😭
Im really glad im not controlling Chasca here because I mess up the hide while followin someone parts way too many times and its always frustrating to start over.
Ororon got involved to protect his granny 😭😭.
ARE WE ACTUALLY GONNA ATTACK THE FATUI?!?!?
We finally meet them 😲😲😲. Are we gonna fight??? Pls no. (Thank God we didn't actually fight Capitano. I don't think my Childe International team is ready for that right now)
ORORON EVOLUTION!!!! Nope never mind, he was possessed. GET OUT OF HIS BODY!! (I was genuinely excited until I realized was what was happening 😔)
Ah yes, nothing like getting possessed to finally have some self-reflection and identity crisis time. FUDGE YOU PERSON!!! Don't you dare!! 😤😤😤😤😤 Yes Ororon!! Struggle to live!!
HE GOT A NAME!!!! He's a... chosen one 🥹🥹🥹 (This was me making a cheeky Harry Potter reference in my head. Also his pose when he held the name and was all glowy was so cool and I'm mad that I didn't get a pic of it)
But seriously, why is his soul fragmented??
Capitano is from Khaenriah!??!?!? He also probably knew Mavuika from 500 years ago!?!?!? I.... have some thoughts about that now 😁
I'm sorry but Ororon looks like he's stuck between his arguing parents 😂😂😂😂😂
Live photo taken:
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WE'RE OFFICIALLY ALLIES!! 😭😭😭 (Also dang, Capitano has a rotting body. ANGST POTENTIAL)
And I'm gonna stop here because I need to sleep. Peace out.
So yeah!! I stopped after Capitano and Mavuika had their talk in the Speaker chamber and we'll see how the situation escalates 🥹. I hope you all have a wonderful day!!
PS: Since this is day 14, I will post a Progress Check tomorrow since I did a double update today.
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paul-ster · 9 months ago
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What if I just totally dropped off the face of the Earth for a week?
Like it’d be cool I swear. I swear maynee 😓
Anyways enjoy this snippet of a fic im working on (while I try not to ignore all my other fics)
Fic Name- Freely Tomorrow (I’ll probably change it tbh) PONYBOY POV!
Mom wouldn’t have been mom if she wasn’t so punctual. Mom always knew how much groceries were gonna be. She always knew when Darry took some money to take out a broad. There wasn’t a pattern or anything, she just knew.
Me and Soda used to ask her for money to go together somewhere and she’d have enough somehow. She would always know everything. From when Soda faked sick to when she died. She knew who was going to take me. She knew dad would die with her.
She just always knew and always had a plan.
Darry used to tell me that mom and dad fought all the time before I was born. That my mom used to not be punctual and always forget things. Then after I was born, she did a full 180. It made me happy; I was like their miracle baby.
Darry was the only one that looked like dad. Soda looked identical to mom. But Soda shared some traits with dad, mostly his personality. It didn’t bother me that I looked like Soda but didn’t act like mom or dad.
Once Two-Bit joked about me being from another dad and mom and dad shut that down. I had never seen them so angry like that before. They reassured me that everything was fine. I didn’t remember much, because it happened when I was 5.
Now, I’m faced with that problem again.
“Our parents had a will?” Darry asked the police. They just nodded at his question. Just a few minutes ago we were told our parents were in a fatal car accident. Just a minute ago we identified their bodies.
Just a second ago I was in custody of Darry.
I could tell that Darry was trying to be strong. He looked at the police officer with certainty in his eyes. It was like he had grown up in the time that it took to identify our parents bodies. Still, there was some uncertainty as he looked at the cop who held papers in his hand.
Soda was crying with me, although for our parents. He wasn’t listening to the fact that I could be taken away. Darry didn’t cry, he held his head up high and started the process of getting custody.
“We will have a court date soon. I warn you son, it’s hard to fight against a hand written will,” the police explained to Darry. I didn’t understand then what that meant. Darry didn’t seem to understand either…
“Cmon Pony, Soda, let’s go home,” Darry said to me and Soda. Soda was reluctant to get up, tears were still falling from his eyes. We still needed to call the gang to tell them what happened. Although, Darry seemed to have already done that.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Steve said as he stood next to Soda. It was obvious he was there for Soda only. He didn’t even bother to give me a glance. I didn’t mind that much though, Darry’s conversation with the police hung heavy on my mind.
After a bit of Steve coaxing Sodapop to go home, we made it home. I felt numb, unable to do much but cry as I went to my room. I lay in my bed, looking at the window I had.
The moon was high in the sky. Just today I went and watched the sunset. Just today-
“Pony?” Someone’s voice called from the door. I was unable to move, paralyzed by the thoughts that ran in my mind. I wanted to cry again.
I just wanted to cry and have mom hold me. It was pitiful to think about. Still, the person was in the doorway, shining some light into my dark room. I hadn’t noticed the voice and waited for a second. Again they spoke and I knew who it was.
“I’m real sorry ‘bout your parents,” Johnny said. His voice was real soft, almost coaxing me to cry again. I wanted to cry but something in me didn’t want to anymore. Instead, I got up and faced Johnny.
Johnny looked like he had just finished crying. I understood why, my parents were just like parents to him. They treated him way better than his actual parents could’ve. In some weird way; it felt like we both just lost our parents.
Johnny came over to me and sat down near my legs. Something in me wanted to talk and to cry, but not both. There was a second of silence as I fought with myself to cry or not to. Instead of making a choice, Johnny chose for me.
“Will you be alright?” He looked at me. I wanted to lie, to say I’ll be fine. Yet, I just shook my head and laid back down. Johnny hugged me over the sheets.
“It’s okay to cry,” he whispered into my ear. It was like he held the ticket to my emotions. I cried heavily, heaping sobs overtaking my body. He held onto me tightly, sitting me up so he could rock me gently.
There he was- a 15 year old coaxing a 13 year old. The night was cold and he offered me warmth. I wished the warmth could’ve lasted forever.
I felt the huge blobs of tears fall down my face. It was like my grief was falling out of me, but still sticking to me. Johnny was sniffling too. However, I could tell he was trying not to cry either.
We stayed there for a long time. Just us crying and trying to hold each other. I could hear Sodapop crying too. If I tried, I could’ve probably heard Darry sighing and sniffing. Yet, I couldn’t help but revel in the warmth Johnny gave me.
In the morning I was shocked to see Johnny still with me. It was obvious that we had both cried ourselves to sleep. For a bit I just laid there, numb. When Johnny stirred was when I decided to get up.
We walked to the living room. Everyone was in there, mostly sleeping though. Darry sat at the dining table, running his hands through his hair. He was stressed.
I walked up to him and saw the papers he had on the table. It was a will, my name was etched on it in big letters. Before I could fully read it, Darry put it away.
“Go wake up Soda,” Darry said before I could do anything else. I just nodded, nothing in me could make me give a snarky response. Soda was in his bed with Steve, somehow, Soda was still crying.
For a second I just looked at them. Sodapop and Steve looked so young. I mean- I think everyone looks younger when they’re sleeping though. For Steve though, he just looked a lot less angry.
I looked to Sodapop. His body trembled a bit, and tears continued falling from his eyes. Both of their eyes were puffy, they probably cried themselves to sleep too. Before I could think more of it, I decided to wake Sodapop up.
“Soda, wake up,” I said as gently as I could, walking to Sodapops side and shaking his knee. He stirred a bit before looking at me.
“Hey Pony…” his voice trailed off. It was obvious he was seeing through me, not at me. It took a bit but he got up and followed me to Darry.
Johnny had stayed in the living room, set on waking Dally up. When me and Sodapop walked in, he abandoned that to go to me.
“Hey Johnny,” Soda greeted and Johnny nodded. Darry looked at us and ran his fingers through his hair.
The day dragged on. For me, I cried the entire day. Soda cried too, except he cried with Steve. It was obvious that Darry was holding back his tears, he held a firm face as he sorted through papers. I cried with Johnny and alone.
Somehow, Darry got everything ready for the funeral. Then, he was set in getting custody. He was granted temporary custody of me and Soda as the court date was set up. I could see the fire in his eyes as he wanted the custody to be permanent.
On the day of court I saw some people I didn’t know. They looked at me and the gang closely. It was like they were sizing them all up. Darry held me close, Soda following his lead. The judge asked some questions and soon the topic of a will was brought up.
“Darrel Curtis and his wife Lilith Curtis had a will. In the first section of the will, it is stated that Ponyboy Curtis will be handed to his godparents. Will his godparents step up to the stand?” The judge said.
I felt my mouth go dry and I looked at Darry and Soda. Soda was panicking, this was also new information to him. Darry however, held a firm face and continued to look at the person coming to the stand.
There was a lady, her hair was long. She had the same colored hair as me and the same eyes. Something in me panicked as I looked at her. We made eye contact and she smiled.
“Angelina Thomason, you are the godparent of Ponyboy Curtis right?” The judge asked. Angelina nodded, looking only at the judge.
“Have you discussed this with Lilith and Darrel Curtis?” The judge continued.
“Only with Lilith, if you see the will, Ponyboy is only related to me,” Angelina’s voice was soft but firm. For some reason, that scared me.
“When was the last time this was discussed between you and Lilith Curtis?”
“Just a month ago. She had given me her will and asked me to sign for Ponyboy Curtis.”
The judge nodded and I looked at Darry again. This time, Darry’s face looked like Sodas- scared. I looked back at the judge and the jury. Some people were talking before they quieted down from the judge.
“Our final verdicts are Sodapop Curtis will stay in custody of Darrel Curtis Jr,” the judge started. I heard some cheering from the crowd, most likely Two-Bits. After the court was called again it was time for me.
“Ponyboy Curtis will be placed in custody of Angelina Thomason. These are effective immediately,” the judge said. The court went quiet and I felt my blood go cold.
As the court was dismissed all I could do was look at Darry. Darry’s face looked sad, like he wanted to cry. Sodapop was crying as the gang met up with us outside.
“What’s- what’s gonna happen with me?” I asked. No one could answer me, they just all looked at Darry.
“You’ll come with me, that’s all,” someone said from behind me. I jumped and looked at Angelina. Up close I could see her eyes more clearly. They were grayer than green and that made me a bit jealous.
“You!” Sodapop yelled as he pointed at Angelina, “you’re taking our brother away from us!”
Angelina’s face was perplexed before going back to a calm look. Then she looked at me.
“Y’all don’t know, do you?”
I just looked at her. Know what? Why she was taking me away from my brothers? I shook my head and she just looked away.
“It isn’t my place to tell you. You have to pack though, tomorrow we will go to Kansas-“
“To hell with that! You’re not taking him,” Sodapop yelled at her again. He pushed her and instantly was held back by Steve. I knew Steve was angry at Angelina too though. It seemed like the entire gang was ready to kill her.
“Look- it ain’t my choice. Lilith didn’t know she was gonna die and she just chose me. We can stay in Tulsa but I know what goes on here. Darrel, you can choose for Ponyboy to have a good life in Kansas, or stay here and become like y’all,” Angelina was starting to lose her cool. I couldn’t help but flinch at her voice. I didn’t want to leave but I didn’t have a choice.
I looked at Darry and his face was unreadable. Dallas however reacted for him.
“Like y’all? The fuck is that supposed to mean. You’re taking him away from family and you have the balls to make us seem bad?” Dallas sounded close to tears as he started to walk towards Angela. He held a glare in his eyes as a small crowd started to form from the commotion.
I looked from Dallas to Angela. The question was still unanswered and I feared for the answer.
Kansas? Away from the gang?
I had just lost my parents. Why would I want to lose the rest of my family? It was too soon for anything like this to happen. Before anything else could happen, Angela spoke up.
“I’ll be at your house tomorrow Darrel. I ask that you have an answer by then,” with that, Angelina walked away into a car. I just stood there and before long I was taken back home.
We all just stayed in the living room. No one looked at me. Something in me wanted to cry again, it felt just like when mom and dad died.
“So did y’all know her?” Two-Bit finally asked, breaking the silence. I shook my head and Sodapop did too. We looked over at Darry and he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“I met her once, when I was Ponyboys age. Shes only two years older than me,” Darry looked at me.
“I didn’t think she was going to take you. She knows we’re family,” his voice started breaking as he got angrier, “Why did mom have to put her to take you? Why just you?”
The questions hung heavy in the air. I just looked down, tears welling in my eyes again.
“Am I staying here or going to-“
“Kansas,” Darry interrupted me. I looked at him in shock. Everyone else in the gang looked at him in shock and he just looked at me. Something in me was scared, almost wanting to run away.
Still, Darry’s face was certain. That made me sad and angry. Did he want me gone? Did he think I was a burden now? Before I could do anything, there was a hand on my back.
“Guess you have to pack,” it was Dally. I just looked at him and thought about the same questions I was thinking with Darry. Still I nodded and got up, albeit numbly. I couldn’t look at anyone as I walked into my room with a suitcase. Dallas helped me, as did everyone else but my brothers.
I knew why they didn’t. They were arguing in the living room, something they didn’t want me to hear. At that moment I didn’t want to hear it, I didn’t want to remember that there was a reason why it was only me leaving. When I was finished packing, I went to sleep.
Everyone else didn’t make fun of me for crying. I could see the anger in Darry’s eyes, the fear in Sodas, the uneasiness in Johnnys, some anger in Dallas’s and Steve’s, but sadness in Two-Bits. They all stayed over to get ready to say goodbye to me in the morning. I didn’t want to leave.
I don’t want to leave.
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urfavoritedcwhore · 5 months ago
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the russian boy//part four
warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, alcohol usage
lowercase intended
!reminder! boris’s first language is not English, so in some parts he’ll be speaking broken English. the writing “mistakes” in his dialect is intentional:)
part four: the sleepover (do or tell)
as we lay on the couch watching movies boris turns to me, "do you want drink?", he says gesturing to the vodka bottle outside. i mean im honestly still drunk but why not keep the party going. "if you're drinking i will.", i say with a shrug. he grins and goes outside to get the bottle. i guess tonight will be a blackout night, but i'm not worried. tomorrow's friday and if im too hungover ill just tell my teachers that im exhausted from the move so they're not suspicious. boris comes back inside with the vodka and plops down on the couch, closer than he was before. he take a swig from the bottle while looking straight at me. i smile and take the bottle from his hands when he pulls it away from his lips. it only has about 5 more shots in it, i guess we drank a fuck more than i thought we did. i bring the bottle to my lips and take about 2 shots, not wanting to drink it all. i pull the bottle back down from my mouth, before i can wipe my lips boris wipes them with his thumb. this man knows how to make my pussy throb, im tellin ya that. we both let out a small giggle and lean back into the couch. i place the bottle in the small space between us so that he can access it easily when he wants more. after about 5 seconds of silence, he speaks up. "you want to play game? could be fun.", he says turning towards me. what kinda game does this kid have in mind? fuck i hope it's not some weird strip game or something, not saying i wouldn't play, the problem is i need to be his friend before i have sex with him. i like this dude, maybe actually like like him. is that crazy? i only met him today, and maybe it's the liquor talking but fuck, i feel like we just kinda connected. it's a stupid crush that i don't want to have. i don't want to get too comfortable here, and i don't want to have a one night stand with my new friend. i speak up, "what kind of game?", i say raising my eyebrow suspiciously and looking at him. he smiles, "potter taught it to me, i think is called tell or do? is like when you pick "tell", you have to tell me something i ask, or if you pick "do" you have to do something i say.", he says trying his best to explain. "and if you don't want to tell or do what the other person picks, you have to drink.", he continues pointing to the bottle between us. this boy means truth or dare. you know what, i'm not gonna correct him i'll let him have this one. i'm honestly a little scared the game might get out of hand, but fuck it. if it gets out of hand oh well. it might not be ideal to do shit with this man, but the way he looks right now, i know i wouldn't be able to deny it. if the dare is "have sex with me", then i can just drink, easy peasy. "alright,", i say giggling, "i think i get the rules. i'll play.". boris smiles a happy smile and gets up, he walks over the the freezer and reveals three more bottles of liquor. oh shit. he takes one that looks like it's maybe whiskey and walks over to me. "we probably won't finish bottle tonight, we would get too sick, but we use for the game?", he asks waving it with a smirk.
ok ok good he's not expecting us to drink all that booze, for a second i thought i was gonna have to chicken out and tell him i couldn't. "perfect.", i say with a smile grabbing the bottle from his hand. i put it down on the couch, and pick back up the bottle of vodka laying on the couch. i take another quick shot and look at boris, who's now sitting beside me again. he opens his mouth and tilts his head back. i laugh and poor two shots in his open mouth. he tilts his head back up and swallows before we both let out a laugh. i place the bottle beside the whiskey, and look at him. "so who's going first?", i ask. "do or tell?", he asks me with a smile. i guess im going first. i don't wanna be lame and say tell on the first question, so i choose do. "i'll pick do.", i say hoping he doesn't pick anything too outrageous for me to do. he smiles and stands up jogging to his school bag. before i can even ask what he's doing he's back on the couch and digging through the bag. he pulls out a sharpie and smirks, "draw on potters face.", he says like he thinks he's the smartest person in the world for coming up with this. i look at him a chuckle, "ok fine, but when he wakes up in the morning you have to say you did it, im not taking the blame.", i say still laughing. "yes, he will think is me anyways.", boris says handing me the marker. i get up and walk over to theo, who's now snoring and laying on his back. i hear boris giggling like a child on the couch behind me. i uncap the marker and draw a small tear drop under his eye, and a penis on the tip of his nose. theo doesn't flinch at all, boris was right, once theo's asleep he's not waking up till morning. i cap the marker and look at my work before going back to the couch. boris starts laughing so hard he looks purple. "HAHAHAH, THEO THE GANGSTER, YES?", he exclaims in between laughs. i look at theo again and start absolutely dying, i don't know if it's because im so drunk or because its so childish, but for some reason its just too fucking funny. our laughter dies down after a minute, and i wipe the small tear that escaped my eye, as boris does the same. "ok ok,", i say still catching my breath from laughing, "your turn, tell or do?", i ask him. he thinks about it for a second. "hmm i choose tell." , he said with a shrug. "lameeee!", i say back to him laughing. he nudges me with his elbow, "cmon what do i tell you?", he says smiling. honestly i don't know what to ask him.  i decide to go with the first question on my mind.
"is theo gay?", i whisper to him even though i know theo wouldn't wake up even if i was shouting at the top of my lungs. this makes him let out a throaty laugh and consider my question for a moment, "hmm theo likes both boys and girls, he told everyone last year. i mean i think everyone is a little gay, i can like men and women too, but i don't want my ass fucked.", he says nonchalantly. i almost choke on my own spit. good for theo and boris, no judgement from me, i had a girlfriend for a little while but things didn't work out. i guess all three of us swing both ways, i never would have guessed boris does, but hey the more you know. i smile, "i knew he was a little fruity, no one straight dresses that well!", i say remembering the cargo pants, vintage batman tshirt, and the studded belt theo wore today. boris laughs at this, "yea, potter will roam in thrift shops for hours looking for good clothes he can afford. i usually just wear whatever is clean in my closet, he gets so frustrated when i wear my sweater everywhere.", he says rolling his eyes and looking at theo. i let out a small giggle, " well personally, i think your sweater is very stylish.", i say rolling the sweaters sleeves up. he smiles at me and grabs the left sleeve of the sweater help me roll it up. after he gets the sleeve up he takes a swig of the vodka and hands it to me. i take a drink and set it back on the sofa. i  100% gonna have a hangover tomorrow. "tell or do?", he says wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "tell", i say without hesitation. "oh who's lame now?", he says with a smirk. "oh shut up!", i say slurring and giggling. he laughs, "okay okay, my question is..", he thinks for a moment, "are YOU gay?", he says pointing at me. i laugh at his exaggeration of the word "you". "yea, i mean i'm bi, i like boys and girls like you and theo do.", i tell him moving my hair out of my face. his mouth drops and i can tell that he didn't expect me to say yes. "wait so you have like..had girlfriend?", he asks confused, "cause i like both, but i have never had boyfriend before, just kissed a few boys.", he says with genuine curiosity. "yea i had a girlfriend for awhile, we dated for maybe..8 or 9 months? i can't remember.", i tell him trying to remember how long we dated. he must be as drunk as i am cause he blurts out, "did you have sex????", with the most genuine interest in his voice. "hey! this is tell or do not 20 questions. it's your turn, tell or do?", i say laughing at his question.
"fineee, i pick tell.", he says. "cmon dude are you ever gonna pick do?", i say smiling. "maybe, maybe not, we have to keep playing to figure out.", he says holding his hands up. we continue playing "tell or do", (which is basically just tell or drink now because we both keep choosing tell) until we're both slurring and laughing from all the whisky we've drank to avoid questions. it's my turn when my drunken brain makes my mouth say the first thing it thinks of. "how many people have you done the nasty with?", i say slurring with the whiskey bottle in my hand. usually i wouldn't even consider asking this but when im this drunk my mouth and brain have no filter. i realize what i said and jokingly shake the whiskey bottle at him, "tell or drinkkk.". he laughs, "keep the bottle i tell i tell, but you promise not to laugh?, he says looking at me. "i promise.", i say slurring and putting one hand over my heart. "ok so i sleep with one girl, and im pretty sure i didn't do it right. miała na imię Kailey i-", i cut him off. "english borisss", i say throwing a pillow lightly at him. i've realized the more he drinks the more russian or polish he talks without realizing it. "fuck sorry.", he says trying shaking his head. "her name was kailey, she was my girlfriend, but i'm pretty sure she didn't like because we only did once and a week later she break up with me.", he says explaining in his broken drunken english. "oh shit, that blows.", i say suprised that this sexy man may honestly not be good at fucking. i mean its gonna be pretty bad for a girl to leave him for the way he fucks. "no is okay, she was how do you say...ah whore, she was whore. she leave me to date older man like a year ago. maybe she leave because he has job and can buy her things?", he says like he genuinely doesn't care what the reason was. "well i'm sure you're a good fuck," i say trying to make him feel better, "i've heard russians are freaks in the sheets.", i whisper slurring with a laugh. this makes him chuckle, "ha! yes that is funny, have you slept with russian man before?", he says looking at me with a smirk. before i can realize what im saying i spit out, "no, not yet.", with a half joking flirtatious wink. his face turns red and his eyes grow. before he can say anything i laugh and take a swig of the whiskey, "i'm so fucking tired, i'm probably gonna pass out soon.", i say looking at my phone to realize it's 3:24am. "yea me too, do you want us to go up to bed or stay on couch?", he asks. aw fuck i teased him too hard he thinks something's gonna go down tonight. he notices the look on my face, "nothing weird, i promise, i just don't like sleeping alone and theo's not gonna wake up to sleep with me. is that weird?", he says reassuring me. "no it's not weird, i honestly hate sleeping alone too, i don't know why but i just sleep better with someone next to me.", i say truthfully. i'm guessing this need to not be alone stems somewhere from our mommy/daddy issues, but im not trying to explore that tonight. "okay, good. we can sleep in my room?", he asks pointing up stairs. "sure.", i say glad that im not gonna have to fall asleep on this tiny ass couch. we walk up stairs and into boris's room where we both fall on the bed too exhausted to even turn off the christmas lights on his wall. we're both on our own side of the bed, and just like he said it's nothing weird. he crawls under the blankets and then drapes them over me. "night new girl.", he says with a smile. "goodnight boris.", i say smiling back with a yawn. we fall asleep on our respective sides of the bed facing each other. fuck. this russian boy is too perfect, i mean can anyone blame me for having a crush?
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crazylittlejester · 5 months ago
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No idea if the link is gonna work (doubt it will), but in my opinion, this song fits not just the Chain, but the Legend of Zelda as a whole pretty well
If the link does not work, the song is called ‘Born for This’ by The Score
The specific lyrics that make me think of the Legend of Zelda go “we come from different places, but have the same name”, and I can’t help but think of all the different Links (and Zeldas, and I guess Ganons(?)) from different eras and timelines
I would also like to share that I’ve started a cross-stitching project where I’m gonna be making little designs for each member of the Chain. So far I’ve got designs for Legend, Four, Wars, and Hyrule. I have completed the Legend one, despite the fact that I started at 10 pm and finished over an hour and a half, nearly two hours later. I am exhausted, my eyes would not stop closing in the middle of each stitch, but it looks cool, so that was worth it. Do I have other stuff I actually need to work on? Yes. Will I do those other things first before finishing the rest of this little project of mine? No, probably not.
I also don’t have to babysit tomorrow, and I’m happy to report that there were no more microwave incidents today! (Although there was almost a waffle iron incident…)
DUDE I THINK. I THINK YOU JUST GOTTA NOT LET THOSE KIDS IN THE KITCHEN- A FUCKIN WAFFLE IRON?? (crying laughing rn because that sounds so stressful but so fucking funny. im so sorry dawg 😔)
THE CROSS STITCHING THING SOUNDS SO COOL, i don’t really know anything about that kinda stuff but that sounds AWESOME and i really hope you have fun with it :)
and I’ll have to listen to that song the second i press post on this ask so i dont forget 🫡
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ricky-fitness-ukagaka · 5 months ago
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Ricky Fitness Ukagaka/ Ghost!!
Hello anyone possibly seeing this!! This blog is going to serve as a documentation of making a ghost of Ricky Fitness, the drummer for the band The Aquabats! I don't really expect this to gain any traction as it's just going to be a place for me to keep all my info together but if you're interested by where this goes by all means please follow along!!
I had the idea for this ghost while I was at work today lol and it's been all I can think about so I really hope I follow through on this
Why Ricky? Years and years ago my stepdad got me into the Aquabats, specifically the Super Show and I was obsessed with it. Immediately Ricky was my favorite, I dressed up as him for halloween one year and actually had an aquabats themed birthday. Then in 2019 I got see them live when they went on tour. After that I sortaaaa forgot about them for a while until I saw them on their most recent Finally tour!! I saw them a few days ago and waow it brought back the obsession FAST!! I actually got to high five Ricky after the show and yea shit was back full force lol. Been binging the super show lately and just finished s2 and I'll move onto the radventure series soon.
I know I could (and probably should) make this about a more and wildly known character but anyone could do that, pretty sure most people aren't making Ricky ghosts so here I am
Timeline- I really have no idea how long this is gonna take as I have never done this lol. I'm still in school and have work so my free time is limited but at the least I would like this to be done before next summer starts. This may be a good or awful estimate of time but again I have no clue so...!
To make this I am using the ghost walkthrough by Zarla the creator of the Undertale AU, Handplates (my fav au🫶). I will link that guide at the bottom.
I haven't officially even started this besides downloading the template but I'm hoping to really start it tomorrow
This specific post will be updated every time I make progress on this . I have little coding experience besides customizing html code on toyhouse so I really don't know how long this is gonna take.
uhhh I think this is it for now so uh If you see this follow my main @sailinginstars 🗣️🗣️ tbh im not too active but ill try to be for this. anyways the guide is this
gn chat i gotta lock in if theres any spelling mistakes ill fix in the morning lol🤞 (07-24-2024)
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mihai-florescu · 2 months ago
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i have finally finished the ballads and you were so right about the central ballad. holy shit that was intense???? i also had to go to mahoyakueng to read the two that werent on healingbonds but the northern ballad was very fun. i do like when they can actually set their minds on something productive sometimes. i'll probably start the first anni story tomorrow (or today for you because timezones) but man. i'm really getting through these things. -📖
YOU'RE READING SO FAST omgomg youre gonna get some awesome owen moments in anni 1 i cant wait for you to read itttt. The events are a bit jumbled up in my memory, was northern ballad the one where they put on a show? Cuz that was so fun indeed. It's probably my second favorite ballad after central (if im not misremembering)
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yuebings · 1 year ago
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tag game: 9 questions for 9 people
tagged by @uhuraisgay HELLOOOOO
last song: A&W by lana del rey, which i've never actually heard before but i put spotify's "indie editor picks the best songs of 2023" playlist on shuffle in the car and that's what came up
currently watching: the long ballad/cgx!! trying to finish this pronto because zhao lusi's next show "the last immortal" airs tomorrow and im so excited....also i'm probably gonna start watching jujutsu kaisen soon i can't put it off any longer
three ships: HAO DU/LI LEYAN haoyan my beloveds......cgx currently getting my ass with them. also mulder/scully my other beloveds. and zolu is also here. bodyguard/princess, fbi agent/fbi agent, captain/first mate.......do i like workplace romance or something
favorite color: HMMMMM. i think i am very into green rn!!! of all shades
currently consuming: sesame shaqima. also contemplating the cold brewed lychee green tea in my fridge rn but i think i might need to give it another hour or so for more flavor
first ship: ichiruki from bleach........ichiruki bleach my loves....................they were the blueprint for me
relationship status: single. fighting for my life in the cesspool
last movie: suzume no tojimari
currently working on: writing wise? randomly, a very short yanxi palace yingluo & mingyu fix-it(kinda) fic. and by "working on" i mean i wrote the bulk of it last week while i was in a mood and now i have just a few sentences to wrap it up but i haven't felt like writing those few sentences so it's just waiting in my docs folder lol
other-things-wise, i'm making chicken soup today. da chinese herbal type. the bones have been boiling for a while and i'm gonna check on it in like 20 min and add the jujubes and stuff
tagging @tantai-jin @englishsub @dcyiyou @fruitdaze @microcomets and whoever else wants to participate :))))
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