#like im a normal person. my illness isn't something i think about really. yes i still hallucinate but im aware of the immateriality of them

[girltakovic]

not to honk an oft-honked horn or whatever but i just abhor the way schizotypal disorders are discussed in journalistic coverage of crime. like i know the range of experience for individuals with psychosis is astronomically wide but i don't find it ethical or even remotely fair to describe schizophrenia as a disorder to which a patient will eventually "succumb". like a lot of the time it's very treatable and patients can live without experiencing many negative symptoms, at least not that they're unprepared to deal with. i find it deplorable that the "true crime" industry has equated, within the american cultural consciousness, the presence of psychosis or schizotypal disorders with a perceived inevitable propensity to commit acts of violence

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so

also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-

Part 2: Aiden Clark

ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.

first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.

the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here

disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.

let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.

you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it

(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)

but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all

alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.

I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.

I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.

now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.

i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job

he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.

it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.

the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.

insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.

unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.

and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.

and it irritates Tyler, too.

the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.

this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.

I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.

he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.

she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.

felt that honestly

and Aiden understands her that night, too.

Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.

seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.

Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,

because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.

anyways then Tyler fucking dies

he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,

really,

really surprised when she responds.

also including this pannel cause its hilarious

here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH

also other small things to include

he's yapping a lot

he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip

and sticks his head into lamps for some reason

but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.

now the part I wanted to get to the most.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.

one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.

now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?

borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.

Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.

but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.

right?

cause it didn't.

it never works that way.

but it can get better.

eventually.

but what happened to him?

personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.

there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.

what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.

one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.

it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so

which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.

and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)

...and i should sleep. really.

(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)

(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)

[strangeaxel]

"Salutations!!"

Introduction post/BYI

I'm Owen, i'm an artist that loves to show the soul of characters and show everyday life (or that's what i try).

He/him/they. Adult. Esp/Eng🇦🇷. Main interest rn is my Postal AU, if you don't like my AU just get out.⚠️

Some of my posts may content uncomfortable topics, i prefer to keep this space mostly for adults that know fiction is only fiction and just wanna have fun (read my DNI criteria for more info about this)

I love interacting with people so feel free to send a message (anon if you're scared muehhee)

(I discovered im part of a System not so long ago btw, we don't really post while fronting as much as other people but just in case i post something that seems ooc of me that's probably a reason. I'm not really comfortable talking about my alters but if you see anything edgy/disgusting that's probably not me entirely.)

～⁠(⁠つ⁠ˆ⁠Д⁠ˆ⁠)⁠つ⁠｡⁠☆

DNI/BYI:

Edgy people (You're a frowning friend/ref. Watches gore, etc.), TCC, ableists (yes, what you're doing with pd1 is ableist, period.), Bigots in general, people that don't respect this safe space. People who think pd1 is genuinely a bad person and a gun-maniac. Basically, 99% of this disgusting fandom.

The fact that the game has violence and other acts that can be considered offensive don't mean anything when it comes to be a horrible person irl okay. If you post gore and you're an edgy shitty person that likes to excuse all their colleagues just bc the game has dark humor then i have news for you!!...i loved the first and second game and i also have intense and sensitive headcanons that i can't even say, but guess what... Ehem :3...

"RUNNING WITH SCISSORS BELIEVES VIOLENCE AND INAPPROPRIATE ACTIONS BELONG IN VIDEO GAMES AND NOT IN THE REAL WORLD, AND INSISTS THAT IN NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD ANYONE ATTEMPT TO RECREATE OR MIMIC ANY OF THE ACTIONS, EVENTS OR SITUATIONS OCCURRING IN THE GAME."

Idk man, just saying!!!!! Since you know the games so much, right??!!!! 🥺 It seems as if...oh yeah, the game isn't racist and is just dark humor!! And it seems like the p1 dude isn't just but a normal guy with mental illness that society left behind!! :00 incredible uh!!?? Is one thing to enjoy violence and horrible acts with humor (or without) in fiction but a total different one to see someone actually be like this irl!!

Sigh I'm not going to post as often as y'all make me literally sick /srs

Basically:

Please interact with care, I don't like drama (neither my alters) and this is just to make my account a safe space for me and other people since it's so hard to find one here. (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

Some of the things that i like:

Cosplay: I like to cosplay as a hobby, i only wear my cosplays to conventions tho, one of my cosplans is Isaac (Postal dude 1) since i already did Gerard (Postal dude 2, gET USED TO MY HC NAMES!!!) multiple times :3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi,

is it possible to orgasm just from your hands/fingers? every time i try it doesn’t feel like anything.. as if im trying to tickle myself. i don’t want to get a vibrator ‘cause im scared ill become reliant on it :( sometimes i feel bad cause people my age are making themselves finish. i think im broken. any tips will help.. thank u

hi anon,

in my heart of hearts I have to assume you already know the answer to the first question. humans have been jacking it for longer than we've even been humans, because even monkey brains know that touch genital feel good. there's evidence to suggest that human fetuses may begin touching their genitals for fun in utero, and tons of animals also masturbate - even these cute little guys!

and you know his rodent ass doesn't have a vibrator.

all of which is to say that the urge to crank it is a powerful and ancient one, and I simply can't believe that you believe that nobody was actually managing to nut until the vibrator was invented in the late 19th century (although that was, admittedly, hardly the first sex toy; there are dildos that are thousands of years old that can attest to that). I suspect the question really bothering you here isn't whether a hands-only orgasm is possible (obviously yes), but whether there's something wrong with you for not having been able to achieve such a thing.

the answer to that is obviously no; I can happily confirm right off the bat that you're not broken on the basis of your sexual function because that's not how that works. there's no singular mode of human sexuality that's the "normal" one that people should be afraid to stray too far away from; what's "normal" varies from person to person, frequently from day to day. what matters isn't being like other people, it's ensuring that you feel safe and comfortable in your own specific relationship with sex.

it seems that you're not at the moment, because of this orgasm insecurity, so I want to talk about that. first off: if your hands aren't cutting it, why not get a vibrator? you say you're scared of becoming reliant on it, but what's the alternative? never coming ever? bullshit. my brain chemistry doesn't naturally balance itself out very well, so I'm reliant on lexapro to be a functional fucking person. that shit's great. being reliant on things that categorically and harmlessly improves your quality of life rules, everybody should do it.

listen, man. everyone has different sexual needs. for some people, it's the intensity and consistency that can only be provided by a battery-powered assistant. I cannot tell you how many people have come to me expressing despair that they can't finish with a partner without also using a sex toy, as if that's not a totally fine thing to need or want. just use a vibrator it's literally fine it does not matter. we're all living on a melting rock ruled by capitalism, just use a vibrator if you want to and if your partner has a problem with it find a better partner.

also. hey. look at me. listen to me. an orgasm does not need to be the single defining factor of whether you're having a good and healthy sexual experience. go read this. I know you're not orgasming when you masturbate, but are you, like, enjoying yourself? does it feel good? because that's really the only thing that matters, and I want you to keep that in mind no matter what you decide to do next in your sexual journey. the point is to have fun, not to reliably produce an orgasm like clockwork.

anyway. you're not broken. get a vibrator if you want; I recommend this one for beginners. stop comparing yourself to others and be kind to yourself.

[astranite]

vent post because I am a mess and i've just got to stick it all somewhere. I don't even know what or why I'm putting it here. Just there is way too much inside my head.

(trying to stick all of my intensely personal bullshit under a cut)

Just a whole pile of stuff. (this isnt even the half of it). A whole bunch of things I thought i was okay about but maybe I'm really not. And that maybe my whole scale of okayness is kinda fucked up. And i seem to randomly swing from telling myself this is fine to no wait its all pretty fucked up. Basically that meme of the dog in the on fire house going this is fine. Welcome to everything is on fire but we're not freaking out about it because we're past that point. But sometimes it feels honestly okay and then something else hits.

Nothing in my life is even that bad. I'm getting my shit together. Its probably better than it has been in a while (or maybe its not, i dont know). I'm making positive progress towards the future. I drafted a job application. I'm trying to unfuck my tertiary studies. I literally keep telling myself I'm an adult, even though I feel like a fuck up kid still.

I just want to move the hell out. So I'm making steps towards it. Not because its bad, bad. More conflicting access needs I guess. And I feel trapped here and on guard and responsible for everything. Or Im just a problem or have problems because clearly everyone else is fine but that's probably not a great way to think.

Not sure what I'm feeling right now. Actually mostly just numb and vaguely ill. Yay for crushing down all your emotions until you can't feel them any more. Because, yeah, I can't be upset about things. It scares and worries people and I'm already way too intense.

And when I do it, i seem calm and fine to people, and hey neither crying nor panicking has be a good thing. Except I'm blank when I know I'm upset or would be, and its not fine. Honestly probably a bit messed up. Huh.

(I know its not good for me. I am so very aware of this) (i know hiding stuff is literally one of my biggest 'things are getting bad' red flags)

I'd probably be way more okay if I was crying and yelling and getting mad about stuff. Instead of just quietly, calmly imploding. Or walking around and smiling and acting normal. (its only sometimes, not all the time. And just happens to be right now)

Also past shit keeps metaphorically walking up to me, and maybe I didn't process it great. because its evidently still bothering me even though its years ago.

(Yes, realising some of this stuff was a That moment when you're writing and you realise that wow character has a whole bunch of issues. Then that was at least 50-70% me.)

I do keep picking myself up from the floor over and over because I'm too stubborn not to.

Also: I'm so sick of being misgendered by family. Like they do support me and are trying with different pronouns. But getting it right barely any of the time. And if I call them out on it to correct them, then they get upset. So I just have to put up with it silently, and yeah, she's trying, so I feel like I can't be upset about it but it still hurts, and maybe its not good enough. And I don't even know whether I could change my name, at least not without upsetting peopl, I've been told "please don't change you name, I like your name" but I don't even know if it feels like me. It's like people are supportive, but being nonbinary or trans or anything isn't actually a valid option. They/them isn't that hard if you practice it and even if it is it's still very much important to me. And none of them think of me as such which is maybe the problem. Except my friends, who actually do get it right which is nice.

I guess I'm struggling. And also all my friends and family have way too much of their own stuff going on.

So stupid vent post yelling into the void, it is then. Maybe I'm just being dramatic about it all.

I'd say I'm okay and don't worry (if anyone's even fucking reading this) but that would probably be more concerning. But I'll survive this like I survived every other fucking thing the universe has thrown at me.

(and I will and have asked for help, so stuff is at least sort of getting sorted, because this is not my first mental health rodeo.)

[cosmicalily]

CAN YOU TELL I LIKE MF QUESTIONS

wait im gonna answer this bc im that fucking bored rn

1. we dont have chipotle in aus 😭

2. i don't mind if you're vegan, i think eating more plant based is better for the environment and for consumption, but personally, i don't think i could do it, i just try and limit my meat product consumption (like only having meat/fish once a week) and i think that's good enough, but i feel like other animal products like eggs and milk don't necessarily harm the animal as such? so i don't really try to avoid them.

3. i don't have a specific colour that gives me the ick, more it's combinations of colours in like patterns or layouts (graphic design student disgust moment) some colours are just not a vibe together and IM SO SORRY but rainbow tiedye is one pattern combo that makes me uncomfy

4. i would love to say fairies bc young me would be so happy but realistically probably more like something ocean wise? i mean there's so much there we haven't discovered so who knows

5. i don't discriminate, i love all potato forms but chips are probably my fav (i also love eating roast potatoes with kewpie mayo)

6. nope ill buy one and use it for a week then forget about it (mines been charging for about a year now)

7. seahorses, seals and penguins!

8. sometimes, depends on the mood. if i have lots of study and wanna be comfy, yes, or if I want to relax and chill out in pyjamas, yes, but normal days im too lazy and just throw a hoodie on

9. yep yep but it varies depending on what my skin needs, and often the season. my colder season routine is more about hydration bc my skin gets so dry and in warmer seasons its more about acne and sun protection

10. orange, even though it fucks with my adhd meds

11. im not sure if this is like an object or experience? but as for object i still have my bunny toy from when i was born, as well as all my childhood dance costumes (i keep my current ones too)

12. ooh so i have a few, for haircare, de lorenzo is the bomb, my hairdresser gives these to me and they have done AMAZING SHIT with restoring the moisture in my hair, and for skincare, some by mi is amazing for acne clearing

13. hide and cry

14. i drink water when im bored or anxious in class just to kill time so im most hydrated when im unfocused lmao

15. okay so i DONT KNOW like i feel like drowning would take the longest and my biggest fear is anything restricting like my breathing/being stuck underneath something so i would say drowning, then burning, bc it would be quick but horrible, then freezing

16. no

17. leg bouncy bounce all day everyday

18. okay so depending on mood again: if I'm feeling something summery, i do a mango milk/fruit tea (half sugar bc that shit is sweet) with mango and lychee popping pearls and extra ice, or a milk tea with cream cheese foam and tapioca pearls

19. avocado, it scares the shit out of me

20. oof i mean i remember vividly watching the princess and the frog a lot as a kid with my family so that's probably my fav

21. um i don't like decimals that much, they just make me uncomfortable bc it's like you're not a complete number??? what are you doing??

22. I USED TO AND HER NAME WAS GENENE, then my best friend left her on the bus and i was too anxious to walk down and check lost property 😭😭

23. i wear my earrings always, bc i have an irrational fear that they'll just grow in even though ive had them pierced for so long, sometimes bracelets, like delicate chain ones but also beaded ones i make myself

24. british english has the same spelling as australian english, so mainly that, but i do love poppin out with a random ass american accent for funsies

25. i know for a fact people dislike my taste in music and that's ok <3 kpop isn't for everyone and im aware but i love my music

26. oof on the white person scale im ridiculously high but on the asian person scale im embarrassingly low (this is how my japanese mother described it for me)

27. i love me my dungarees!! but also mini skirts and leg warmers are a winning combo

28. a whole ass japanese banquet

29. i like little ones with dents and holes that the sauce can get caught to, they have more flavour and they're like small and bite sized

30. oh

weirdly specific and unrelated asks to know someone well:

chipotle order?

thoughts on veganism?

a specific color that gives you the ick?

mythical creature you think/believe is real?

favorite form of potato?

do you use a watch?

what animal do you look forward to seeing when you visit an aquarium?

do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home?

do you have a skincare routine (and how many steps is it)?

on a plane, do you ask for apple or orange juice?

anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

brand of haircare/bodycare/skincare that you trust 100%?

first thing you’re doing in the purge?

do you think you’re dehydrated?

rank the methods of death: freezing, burning, drowning

thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

an anxious compulsion you do everyday?

your boba/tea order?

the veggie you dislike the most?

favorite disney princess movie?

a number that weirds you out?

do you have an emotional support water bottle?

do you wear jewelry?

which do you find yourself using, american or british english?

would you say you have good taste in music?

how’s your spice tolerance?

what’s your favorite or go-to outfit?

last meal on earth?

preferred pasta noodle?

ask me anything !

leave an ask for the person you reblog it from!

[spadem00n]

Rip for not being more active on her rn a lot going on, but!!! I haven't really been posting about it since i don't really interact with the hanako fandom despite being in it forr *checks hands* five years?

But I have been watching the new season, and like any person whose normal about media they watch / read over and over again, i have thoughts on fun parallels that makes only sense in my head (maybe) So uhh i'm gonna ramble for a while bear with me lol.

Hanako-kun & In Stars and Time Spoilers (Specifically 2hats) under the cut!

So for no reason at all, been thinking abut how both the Mei Shijimas parallel Siffrin & Loop. Something about another self, another version of you made through a wish, whether it was because you wanted to keep drawing even thought your body was dying from an illness so you wished for an idealized, healthy you that would continue it. (in Mei's case) or because you've been trapped in a time loop for stars knows how long and a desperate cry for someone to help you, so the Universe decides "got it" and puts you in another, naive you's timeloop (in Loop's case)

Both Shijima & Loop have a deeply bitterness on what happened to them for good reason. The nature of rumors is Hanako-kun means supernaturals can't go against them so when her rumor got twisted from "A girl who loved art so much, but was too sick to continue and died shortly after finishing her last work" is now "this artist's parents HATED that she wanted to be an artist so she killed herself" which is a complete 180 from the truth. So of course Shjima, the "fictional idealized Mei Shijima" would think that fiction is worthless when she couldn't even protect the person who mattered most to her. So in her mind the most logical way to prevent the human Mei's dream is kill her before she finishes the painting with her in it, so she doesn't exist and exist only to hurt her.

And where the hell do i even begin with Loop??? Being trapped in a timeloop AGAIN, but now to see another Siffrin stumble into it, acting as their guide, "Helpful Loop! Here to help with the loops!!!" All to see him be able the do things you could never do, see him lose himself to the loops like you did, only for him to get OUT!!! Of course Loop lashes out like holy crab. And that only happens if you met the requirements for two hats!!! The last interaction with Loop and Siffrin outside that ends with Sif going "Curse you Loop." and then Loop is just gone!!! And even when you DO do the 2hats encounter, no matter if you lose to Loop or win, Loop can't kill Siffrin because they know how much he went through. They're angry, yes, but no one else wen through the loops besides them. No one else could help them BUT them, and if that's the case why couldn't have been them?

And in the end, it's those very same people they tried to kill not too long ago that tell them "I needed you as much as you needed me." That they WERE needed. Mei now knowing that she isn't going to live long, but is happy with the knowledge that through Shjima she'll get to live on. It's not what either of them wanted this, but she's happy knowing even if she dies the other her will continue her dream

And if i try to talk about the "It's Thanks to You, Loop!" I will cry and combust into flames, but like. that entire scene, That "of course only A Siffrin could help another Siffrin." Showing yourself grace as a from of self-love. The secret third thing they got going on (that i'll choose to see as queerplatonic teehee /lh) but like. So many layers to it. But Even though Loop doesn't get their happy ending, they got closure. And they did promise to see each other again so who knows!!!

anyways im very normal about them don't even worry about it /lh. And idk if it breaches containment more ppl to wacth hanako-kun or even read the manga because it's better and the art is very good shhhh but yeah ramble over lol

[sade-alicious]

summer reading list except byler edition (all AO3) - im still reading new fics btw so there’ll be updates on this post (updated 10/22)

——————

a dream always the same

Mike learns more about himself in four months than he has in fourteen years and comes to realise that he's fallen in love with his best friend.

A four part historically accurate coming of age story set between July and October 1985.

this one is my number one, its set between the battle of starcourt and when the byers move away, its from mikes pov and not short of amazingly written, it includes all of the canon events in the show towards the end of the s3 finale but manages to tie them in really well, absolutely read this

——————

over a bridge of time

Hawkins isn't the same without Will. So Mike goes to visit him in Chicago.

Set during Thanksgiving in November 1985.

this is a sequel to adats, same thing goes for this work, but be warned, this is the second (but not last) completed work in a series, so its gonna end on a cliffhanger/unresolved problems like the first fic

——————

the red envelope

Will writes a letter to Mike, confessing everything. Unknowingly and stupidly, he lets Mike take the envelope home, forgetting just the amount of secrets inside. At the end of the letter he tells Mike to meet him at Castle Byers Saturday at two, to tell him yes or no. Because of course Will had to ask for Mike to be his boyfriend at the end of the letter. So now Will has two choices, somehow get the letter back, or wait at Castle Byers praying for a miracle?

this one is good, it has an interesting concept and was “will they or wont they?” for me. u can read the sequel, but i really dont like because 1. smut (ew, but dont worry only the sequel has it) 2. it follows a will byers has powers trope, and i dont care for it

——————

touch like velvet

It was easy for Will Byers to fall in love with Mike Wheeler.

The trouble came when he had to pretend it wasn't real.

this one is an au of will and mike not meeting until they’re 17, there is no upside down and el isnt a lab experiment but instead a normal person. will still has the rest of the party, but its sort of split in two. will, lucas, and dustin are all bsfs, and el and max are gfs who are coworkers/friends with mike. this one i truly recommend so so much. its a lengthy slowburn, but it is unfinished and updates slow

——————

im tearing you asunder

The world ends, and then some. Mike and Will find each other again, amidst the debris and distance.

someone made AMAZING fanart based off of this which ill link here. but anyways this ones really nice, mike isnt an asshole and actually treats will like a friend. its a lead off of the s4 finale and ive been obsessed with those fanfics rn. (if you have any recs please comment them🙏)

——————

kiss it better

Mike and Will, through the years and in between the lines of friendship and something more.

i LOVE young mike and will and this one has plenty. it has byler scenarios over the course of their friendship from 5 to 18 which shows their relationship evolving the years. its a great concept in it of itself. but yeah, please read this one

——————

let me lead

this one just has a snippet of the fic so ill try to explain. basically this is a lead off of s4, so pretty much everyone thinks this is their last night alive, and to which mike says “screw it” and invites will over and confronts him about some things

so for my opinion, they wrote it in a scenario like, if i dont say what i think/feel now…when will i? which is great because it helps move things along quickly, so its not exactly a slowburn but they write everything in just under 6k words from el breaking up with mike, to an angsty fight, to byler confessing in a way that doesnt feel rushed

——————

pictures of you

Will is the last one left at Mike's house after a day playing DnD.

Mike brings out an old box, full of memories of their past.

ugh this one is short but its so good. it does a lot in under 3k words and is a great byler first kiss scenario

——————

a game of truths

Mike and Will play a game of truths.

this one is amazing, like the rest of the fanfics ive listed. its one of the more byler centric ones. most of it is just mike and will talking and having their moments. its really cute (esp with young mike and will) and does byler justice without writing two long paragraphs of them just making out. 

——————

8/14/22

——————

where is my mind?

On November 6th, 1985, Will Byers crashed his bicycle while riding home from the Wheeler household, damaging his head and waking up two days later with no recollection of who he was.

Plagued with the absence of his memories and a dark haired boy who refuses to tell Will his name, all Will Byers has to do is remember. That's the hard part.

this is by the same author that wrote “touch like velvet” and they’re a GENIUS. this one like the other fic, its an au aside from the upside down where will just suffers from memory loss instead of getting kidnapped and everything, but its really cute because its like no matter what will and mike still love each other

——————

static re-connection

A miles-apart, oblivious mutual pining, emotional summer vacation disaster-fest starring Mike, Will, and one incredibly unreliable radio connection.

miscommunication trope at its FINEST. once the angst started it hurt, the confession is great and we get plenty of mike and nancy sibling moments👍

——————

i never find out ‘til i’m head over heels

Wherein Mike believes he’s being obvious, Will doesn’t know what he believes, and the pair of them could use a lesson or two in effective communication. Somehow all of this has both nothing and everything to do with five years' worth of school dances.

this ones great but also kind of funny because will’s being the oblivious one instead of mike. its light angst btw so u dont have to worry abt your heart being ripped out of your chest.

——————

10/13/22

——————

head over heels

On their way to Hawkins, the group decides to stay at a motel for the night.

Mike and Will get a moment alone to talk.

i was praying for more byler scenes in volume 2 whether be at a gas station, motel, or literally anywhere else so this fanfic gave us what we deserved, but yea its really cute def recommend !!

——————

undertow

Will has never had his first kiss. Mike is happy to lend a hand

as you can tell its gonna be a mike teaching will how to kiss and those are always cute even tho ive only read two successful versions of this scenario. also madwheeler🫶🫶 its really fluffy and cute at the end so this was also a good 3am read

——————

force of gravity

Will loved ordinary things, an uneventful existence was something he craved. Sadly, when Mike Wheeler walks into his life, Will’s easy going path snaps right in half. A passion he could never imagine overtaking his whole being.

It was too bad their friend groups hated each other and his sister had a huge crush on the musician. Off limits.

Fantastic.

you already KNOW i had to include this one, its too good not too. and you probably already heard of this if not read it bc its like the most popular fanfic among the byler ship/fandom (it might as well be a fandom at this point) right now. but yea the amount of times when i thought they were gonna have a normal conversation but then start argueing is INSANE. hella angst. fluff if you look past the bucket loads of angst and just GO READ IT IF YOU HAVENT

——————

10/22/22

——————

to hell and back again

After Mike unwittingly stumbles into a series of interpersonal bombshells, he immediately sets out to find Will so he can find out what, exactly, that painting meant, and why Will lied about it. Unfortunately, Mike is obsessively obstinate and relentless to a fault, and he'll go to the literal ends of the earth to get the answers he needs.

Or: Mike and Will's Apocalypse Romcom Spectacular

this one is actually super underrated and i havent seen many people talking abt it, and the author has been updating the fic recently too. but ANYWAYS im on chapter 11 rn and its really giving apocalypse byler, what we’ve ALL been praying for for season 5🙏 but other than that its really good so far but OML MIKE NEEDS TO GET HIS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS GOOD HE IS SO DOWN BAD ITS LAUGHABLE

[wrightmourmarriage]

number 1 rick apologist on the scene here to tell anon that i don't really agree with this, im really tired so ill deliver this in bullet points

rick did come back after lying to syd, that's like, the main part of the quote?? from the syd barrett + pink floyd story / dark globe:

the reason why rick had to lie to him was because a) they had already tried giving him time off, going to a doctor, etc and it didn't work, so the band had to fend for themselves b) as he said above, whatever state syd was in he'd have come if rick said he was going to play - an incident before rick started lying to syd meant that they had to cut a gig early because syd could barely stand up on stage, let alone play anything (excerpt below from the same book)

rick had expressed regret and guilt for lying to syd whenever he told this story, something you can pretty clearly see in the excerpt the story comes from. by contrast roger has not only not expressed any kind of remorse, he refuses to accept what he did was wrong at all - excerpt from this article on the production of the wall

half of the reason why people aren't as hard on the band regarding syd in comparison to how roger treated rick is the context; if you're a mid-20 something in the late 60s, you don't know what the long term effects of LSD use or schizophrenia really is, nobody can explain what's happening to not only your friend but the person who helps pay your bills, you're confused, you don't know what else you can do but you need to keep yourself afloat - and the only way to ensure that your next gig is going to be somewhat profitable is making sure there isn't someone detuning their guitar midway through the set. the options rick had available was either lying to someone who already seemed out of it or risking not making rent next month for the both of you. neither are good but ultimately it was the best option he had for both of them.

by contrast, while there definitely was a similar financial imperative to making sure the production of the wall went as quickly and as smoothly as possible, the issues between roger and rick weren't solely about production as people claim them to be. roger knew what depression looked like (he was literally making The Wall ffs) and he still chose not only to further isolate rick, he did so in an unnecessarily cruel way. ginger gilmour claims this in her memoir -

and this is furthered by bob ezrin's observations as he was producing the wall, from the same wall article as above -

the problem isn't that "roger kicked out my fave >:(", at least from every rick fan I've spoken to, it's the way he went about it that makes it a lot less forgivable than rick lying. were they both in a desperate situation trying to seek some financial security that sometimes meant having to do things that they wouldn't normally do? yes. did roger express any guilt like how rick did with syd? no. the cruelty is the issue people take the most offense to. if other options to actually help rick were explored first, and if roger even attempted to show slight guilt about the whole thing, it would be closer to the situation with syd - but that's just not true. rick definitely has his flaws, im willing to say other ppl will back me up here when i say i have my own criticisms of him, but i don't think it's fair to make that comparison when the situations were both very different

i hope this doesn't come across as too apologistic or trying to shut down any convo about it, i more or less wanted to get further into the topic than what the confession could really portray, and whoever anon is i don't blame them for thinking that way + holding that belief; i just don't think said belief holds any water when presented with the evidence ive seen. im happy to reevaluate my own perspective if anyone can present something that challenges it! ok im gonna go eat now bye

I see people demonize roger for the way he treated rick and say things like “it’s not right to throw out your bandmate just because they are struggling with mental health”. which is completely valid. and I agree. but did rick not regularly tell syd he was “going to get cigarettes” and then leave him without coming back. I’m not saying rick deserved to be thrown out or that it’s karma. I am just saying neither should be demonized.

[smolweeblets]

Drunk confessions

A/n: can you guys tell idk how to name my stories? Anyways Yelena is so ooc here but shes drunk so I'll use that excuse.

"Y-yn? Can you uh, pick me up please?" Sniffles could be heard as you listened to your friend. You panicked, thoughts racing through your head about what happened to her.

"please hurry up... Im at the bar we go to sometimes." A bar? Oh god this isnt good. Hurried shuffling to get into your clothes ensued. You tried to not panic and think about this rationally. Although failing for the most part.

Why is she crying? Is she in danger-? Oh god I have to get there faster.

You mentally slapped yourself, gathering your thoughts. You did need to move faster but she wouldn't be in danger, if she was she wouldn't be calling you. She was always a logical person and no matter how close you two were she would still be calling 911 if it was really serious. You wracked your brain for possible answers, then it dawned on you.

She was probably really drunk, otherwise she wouldn't be crying on a call like this with you and asking you to pick her up. Although the fact that she is drunk is also weird, since she never usually drank that much alcohol, if any at all. And she wasn't particularly a lightweight. Something must have come up in her life for her to get drunk like this. Well that doesn't matter right now, what matters is you getting her as quickly as you can.

~~~

Small sniffles and hiccups could be heard as you approached the hunched figure sitting on the steps of the bar. She looked absolutely miserable.

"Hey, Yelena? Are you okay?" You gently put your hand on her shoulder, alerting her more of your presence.

She wipes her face with her arm before looking at you and slowly nodding.

"Okay that's good, how about we get to my car now alright?" You go in front of her and gesture for her to take your hand, which she does to help herself up.

She stumbles as she stands, having to lean on to you just to not fall flat on the floor. The sight was almost funny, her large looming figure being supported by your much smaller frame.

You two got to your car and you made sure she leaned back properly and buckled up, in the process, you get a glimpse of just how bad of a state she's in.

Her eyes were bloodshot, and her face was flushed red. You could almost feel the horrible hangover she would have to endure tomorrow. Bringing her to your house instead of hers would probably be better for the both of you. So she's sure to be taken care of, and so you dont stay up all night worried she isn't. There really was no way you'd let her be by herself in this state.

You start driving and theres a long silence between the two of you. It wasn't confortable, nor was it awkward. It was just that, nothing but silence and your thoughts.

Eventually Yelena notices that you werent taking her home, even in her drunk state she could tell the scenery was different from her usual route.

"Hey... where are you taking me- *hic* " Yelena slurred her words, sounding very disoriented.

"I'm taking you to my place, its safer and i wouldnt have to worry too much about you." Your calm voice normally would have been soothing but it looked like Yelena thought the opposite right now.

"N-no- I can take care of myself just take me home please.." Yelena sounded like she was about to cry. You felt bad but you knew what was best.

"Sorry, no can do. You say that but you dont look like you can even stand by yourself." As soon as you finished your sentence, It looks like a dam broke in Yelena and she broke into small sobs.

"I dont want to be in your house right now okay... or even with you for that matter" She cried. It broke your heart seeing Yelena look so sad and hearing that it could be because of you.

"Why? Is there something I did? If so, I'm sorry but I just can't leave you alone like this." You reasoned. You placed your hand on her shoulder as a very small way of giving comfort.

"Yes you can," She whined while sloppily removing your hand. "ill be fine by myself... like i always am." The last part was barely a whisper, if you weren't so tuned in with her you would have missed it.

You grip the steering wheel hard as you think about your next move.

"Yelena, it might be personal but please tell me what's wrong, if it's been something I did or what. I can't bear to see you in this state."

"It's nothing- just let me be." Some of the sobbing had subsided, but she was still sniffling a lot. You handed her a tissue to wipe some snot off her face, which she thankfully accepted.

"Yelena, I can't just leave a friend alone like this. Just tell me what's wrong so I can help." You glanced at her worriedly.

"God! Just stop asking, it's not like you'd be able to help." Hostility was now laced in her voice, it sounded strained and painful.

"I just want to help a friend- but if you dont want to talk about it then fine."

"Dont fucking call me YOUR FRIEND!" Tears were running down Yelena's face as she screamed.

"I FUCKING HATE BEING YOUR FRIEND SO STOP CALLING ME THAT!" You could only look in hurt as you watched her say all this. You thought you two were close but hearing her scream about this felt like a stab through the heart. She may be drunk but they do say drunk words are sober thoughts and it pained you to know this was what shes been thinking of you.

"I'm sorry then... but I am still taking you home. I care about you Yelena, and you're drunk." You worriedly asserted.

"God this is why i fucking hate you- youre too... nice." Yelena spat out. She hesitated saying the last word, and faltered throughout saying it.

"Wait- come again?"

"It's nothing. Ignore me, I'm drunk." Yelena said in almost a whisper. The tears had subsided, leaving only the traces of crying.

"No. Yelena, what did you say earlier."

"Youre too fucking nice and perfect. That's why I fell in love with you and why I hate you because you'd never reciprocate my feelings. There, happy now?"

"Oh..."

"Yeah, well that you know, you can go ahead and drop me off wherever. I can manage." It seems almost as if all the alcohol got knocked out of her. From how she was acting you wouldn't be able to tell she was bawling just a few minutes ago.

You slowed down, stopping by the side of the road. Yelena wasn't shocked at all that you actually were dropping her off. She deserved it.

She was getting ready to get off, unclasping her seatbelt and reaching to unlock the door.

"Yelena wait." You grabbed her bicep, wanting her attention back to you.

Yelena looked back to you, confused. Your seatbelt was also unclasped, though she didn't notice and just wanted to know what else you wanted to say before she left.

You suddenly leaned towards Yelena and you reached out to gently hold her cheek to hopefully not make her move too suddenly and to angle her face properly. To say she was shocked is an understatement. She fully thought she'd never have a chance with you, not in a million years.

You pull back and lean back into your seat, sighing in relief.

"God, you have no clue how long I've wanted to do that." You chuckle a little.

Yelena could do nothing but gape at you with large gray eyes looking at you as if what happened was just an illusion from the alcohol. Her hand ghosted over where you kissed her, still damp from her crying earlier.

"So? Do you still want to go back to your home?" You joke, hoping to clear away the uncertainty Yelena still seemed to have.

She shook her head, too flustered to even respond properly. She was already red earlier but now, she looks like a literal tomato. A cute one, but a tomato nonetheless.

You reached over to buckle Yelena's seatbelt again and you felt her flinch under your touch. She stared at you again and you just smiled back.

"Gotta take precautions." You giggled while reaching to buckle your own seatbelt.

The ride back home was quiet, but the comfortable kind. You caught Yelena staring at you a lot, but you didn't mind, she deserves it after pining for you that hard.

You led her staggering form into your home and into your bedroom, you instructed her to sit while you picked out some clothes that could maybe fit her. It was quite a task, considering just how much bigger she was than you.

Eventually, you did find something that she could wear and handed them over. You told her you'd be sleeping on the couch tonight, since you didn't want her to be uncomfy. You were about to leave to let her get changed when she called out for you.

"I'm drunk... help me dress please?" You almost would've thought she was serious with how sincere she looked. If only she wasn't wearing her stupidly coy smirk. She really is herself, even when drunk.

"Wow, where'd my flustered little 'lena from earlier go?" You laughed lightheartedly.

"Right here, please do help me." She pleaded. Her mouth was downturned, pretending to be sad.

"Hmm... okay but no funny business, you're drunk." You chided.

"Thank you babe." Yelena jokes, having an adorable close eyed smile.

"Stop that. Dont act like you weren't just crying over me a few minutes ago." You playfully scolded.

"Whatever you say babe." She teased.

You decided to stop the banter and actually help her out of her clothes. It was a surprisingly time consuming task because she constantly kept trying to make you laugh through various actions. You appreciate the effort, but not the action. You had to basically wrangle the clothes off of her because she wouldnt stop moving and causing a fuss.

After a few minutes of wrestling to finally get her dressed you finally succeeded. You also tired yourself out, so you made your way to the light and flicked it off. Then right back on again when you heard Yelena request something.

"Hey... you can sleep here you know-" Yelena suggested.

"No thanks, i can manage being on the couch." You point you thumb behind you, gesturing to the living room.

"But since im like drunk it gives you a good chance to take care of me." She reasoned out. Admittedly a pretty smart one considering she is, in fact, drunk.

"I think you're using that excuse too much, just go to sleep." You scoffed lightheartedly

"Pleaseeee-" She whined, using her most convincing puppy eyes. God how she had so much power over you was crazy.

"If you puke on me or my bed tomorrow i will kick you out." You sighed. You relented to her wishes way too quickly for you liking.

Yelena excitedly gasped, and smiled widely. "No! Of course i wont,, now come here please." She patted the area beside her, beckoning you to get in. You flicked the light back off and made your way ro the mattress.

Yelena snuggled up beside you and practically melted in your arms. Oh how she has craved for this for so, so long. She slept soundly that night, smiling in her sleep.

[transhawks]

im stupid so sorry for this but how is spinners devotion and desperation to be useful and helpful all that much different from twices??

Okay, I'm going to ask that people give me some time. I've been working on a meta series for a weeks that will look at the League critically, but it's the second post and the first one is a discussion of heteromorphs in the series.

But just to give you a small preview of the second part where I discuss villains - it's not. That's the entire point.

Twice was mentally ill and constantly treating his friendships with the League as something he needed to prove he deserved. It was a very transactional way of thing - he repeats that he needs to make up Magne's death to them constantly, calls himself nothing while standing up and continuing to fight for them. As heart-touching as it is, it's also just very a very toxic sort of friendship. I understand this site skews towards similarly screwed up people, but imagine how a therapist would react if you told them, "I don't give a shit what happens to me, I just want my friend's happiness."

Like objectively, you know that's not healthy, right? I love my friends (my IRL found family of other qt first gen/poc) deeply, and can say that I live for them, but I also know that isn't the best mindset when it means I prioritize other people's well-being and happiness over my own. In fact, a lot of that mindset caused enabling of addiction and dangerous behavior widely in that friend group where people really had to detach in order to become better because dysfunction was so normalized among us.

Keep that in mind about how the League worked, even when Twice was around. You can't tell me it's good when some of Twice's last thoughts were "They accepted me, and how I'd pay them back?"

You know that's not how friendships have to work? Someone showing you basic decency, kindness, that shouldn't be something you feel like you have to repay. Twice had been abandoned and spit on so much that he never got out of the trap of thinking he had to do things to get people to stay.

So, to answer your question, it's not different. The whole point is that the League are deeply fucked up people who found each other, and if we're to be honest, did not get better, but got understood by people like them. I want to reiterate that - the League on some basis, had understandings with each other, but it's even stated by Compress, "A collection of warped minds who never bothered with prying into each others' pasts." They respected who each person was and accepted it, which societally had been done for none of them, but don't miss this part - they didn't help each other get better and overcome their issues.

And, frankly, it makes sense they couldn't! Like I said, friend groups of people like that often become spaces where certain behaviors and thoughts are normalized.

I'm going to add this - I understand that there's a popular fanon interpretation of the League of Villains where they are a found family who don't need society to get better and help each other. But that's the issue; it's lovely in fanfics, but absolutely not expressed in canon. Any attempts at helping each other were small. Yes, they have (had?) each other's backs, but the thing about being in a sinking pit with other people is that you need someone outside of it to pull you out.

[timidloner]

me ascending every time you call me ram <3 (it's like a power up i love it, like joren with mc, you're enabling me to ramble more each time)(sorry in advance for the amount ill send) watch me call you lolo for the loner in your username

it was very clear so we appreciate it!! and exactly omfg you get it, there's nothing wrong with being a conventionally attractive white man but personally it's so underwhelming compared to what i sometimes imagined (one time i played a game where i thought the guy had long black hair brooding and sharp looks like babygirl right? but then i saw the pictures and he had short very bland looks i cried.) tiktok goes crazy with THESE especially with the fancasting people do for books, its always the same kind of dudes its tragic (definitely an interesting topic from a sociological perspective but ill stop too lmaoaoa)

moles are so attractive normally but now with your concept too? brain rot i cant believe... is joren's neck sensitive? please i need to know because just MC touching the moles but instead they watch joren's neck turn red and both end up blushing like fools and THE SCARS WOAHHHH????? MC turning his scars into something joren can love by admiring them (tho the angst would be crazy if the MC was to be disgusted but personally my MC could never cause joren is our big meow meow)(im still not over the fact he can purr like can the MC scratch the back of his ears too? i need MOREEEE MONSTER FACTS)

AWWW, I love it!! Lolo is such a cute nickname!!

And I actually went to booktok to study (laugh at) this phenomenon and you're so right!! There's nothing wrong with these dudes, of course, but when the entirety of your male cast looks the same, it just becomes booooooring. They look like brothers!! Add some spice, please!!

Fortunately, that kind of surprise hasn't happened to me, I either never see the characters' portraits (IF) or that's the first thing I do (VN). But I won't go into detail about my feelings here, gotta stay away from controversies now that I'm a game dev (never gets old), haha!!

And yes! I've always loved moles, on someone's wrist, neck, below their eye, or the edge of their mouth... Doesn't matter, they are great.

I'd say both his neck and wrists are sensitive. And I love that idea, but due to his skin tone, his blush isn't really visible! So instead of turning red, we could say that MC is touching him and suddenly his skin heats up under their palm and he starts to sweat a little bit!

And ugh, now I can't help but imagine MC calling Joren their handsome man while tracing his scars...

Like, he doesn't really care if he's considered good-looking or not, but MC calling him that???? He'd melt. Suddenly, he'd understand why everyone is so concerned about beauty, and how good that kind of validation feels. He'd even start putting more effort into his appearance.

And maybe he could start seeing his scars as proof of how brave he's been throughout his life? He could stop being neutral about it, and become proud of them?

On the other hand, if MC finds him disgusting for his scars, it would make him insecure for the first time in a really long time. He'd try to dress in tunics with long sleeves, and always face MC with the "better" side of his face, so they don't have to look at his scar.

And yes!! Of course MC gets to scratch his ears, I'm pouring all of my impossible dreams of cuddling a big cat in those scenes. I'll think of some monster facts for tomorrow!!

[chocoenvy]

so what ur saying is Fischl has two new moms who are hazards to society ✍️

IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES HER AS TRANS THOUGH LIKE MOOD. transfem fischl 🤝 transmasc bennet 🤝 transneu razor

but also the awkward family dinner with Rhinedottir + Alice and their other kids and Fischl's parents 😭

Alice has to physically restrain Rhinedottir from commiting numerous war crimes the entire time but she's just like oh that's just how she is :) isn't she just adorable :)

also Oz is her service animal / emotional support animal and ill die on this hill tyvm

n Fischl & Klee are best friends canon proves me right once again. Klee thinks she's really cool n looks up to her especially once she gets basically adopted by Alice & Rhinedottir. because now she has a cool older sister and she tells EVERYONE. everyone will appreciate her super cool sister or else🔪 - eros

oh my god chronically thinking of feral rhinedottir and unhinged Alice as her handler to make sure she doesn't commit mass murder

Bro i just want Fish to get the childhood she never got bc not to make this about myself I get so upset I didn't have the boy childhood sometimes, like bro i fucking hate gender roles but i WANTED that classic boy childhood man

So Rhine and Alice making Fischl the Princess she never got to be when she was little... I'm tearing up man. Rhine irl blocking everyone that makes fun of Fish or makes her uncomfortable or anything im <333

ALSO YES HI Oz is 100% the emotional support bird. I read Fischl's story on how she got her vision but it's been a while, I think he's a manifestation made by her vision??? Not too confident on that but either way he's her best friend! No matter what happens there's always Oz who will see her as Fischl, who will see her as a princess.

Meanwhile her parents don't understand why she wants to live out this fantasy, they gave her a good childhood, she should be grateful! But... it's not the childhood she wanted. It was good! But she just...wished it were different.

And that's what Rhine and Alice are giving her!

Klee is like "My sister is a princess!! She's so cool!!"

And fish acts all cool but every time someone calls her a princess or call her Fischl or any variation she just :> She thinks about it a lot

And then more and more people start doing it and soon it's a normal occurence and there's too many to think about-

and she's really The Prinsezzin of a faraway kingdom, one that Alice and Rhine are giving her. And her body, her personality, everything about Fischl that she once hated and ridiculed, are now something she can love.

Even if she's not "in-character" all the time, she's not ❏❏❏. She's still Fischl. She'll always be Fischl, because that's just who she is.

And even if some ridicule her and say she's not the Prinzessin, and even if Fischl sometimes thinks she's not a princess and she's just some stupid girl named ❏❏❏ with stupid fantasies of living a happy life, Alice and Rhine are there. Even if she doesn't think so, she'll always be a princess to them <3

[eveoflaw]

burn out + the bigger picture (& annoying things in this community)

i am tired and annoyed so if this doesnt make sense im sorry.

hello everyone! i don't know if anyone noticed that i've been m.i.a since i released my "7 days of christmas" challenge, but i just popped in to say a few things about being burnt out (both in this community and in general) and the "bigger picture."

im going to start with burn out. one thing i've noticed while being in this community is how seemingly controversial burn out is, and how people generally take it the wrong way when it comes to manifesting and their own journey.

what is burn out? i'm not going to give you a textbook definition but basically burn out is when you feel mentally and physically exhausted. it typically happens when someone overworks themselves, but it can happen when it comes to habits and in this case, manifesting.

why do i think it's controversial? what i see a lot in this community is that many people (no particular person) seem to think that if you hyper focus on methods and manifesting what you want 24/7, you'll get it faster. that may be true for some, but the truth is that this is all for you. this is your journey to work on yourself, and overworking your mind and subconscious isn't going to make that process any easier. i see many people in the manifesting community who do the absolute most and then disappear off of the face of the earth (aka me) for months on end, or eventually get burnt out and get shit on for taking time for themselves.

it seems almost taboo? like you aren't supposed to talk about it but it happene, and/or people seem fine with it UNTIL it actually happens.

in other words, it is okay to take breaks. this is definitely something a lot of people find difficult to comprehend. it is drilled into ours heads that "just believe and know that xyz is yours!" that so many forget what the bigger picture is.

this is your journey. this is meant to be for you. how you get there and how long it takes you is not defined by methods or any other bs that will get you want you want in a second.

it is your healing process.

it is your growth.

it is self concept in whatever form that may be.

it is patience.

im not saying that you can't get whatever you want in a second, i know that you can, but this is YOUR OWN JOURNEY and yes advice from all of these manifesting blogs is extremely helpful (and kudos to all of you lovely people) but it SHOULD NOT DETERMINE your journey!

overconsumption will eventually lead to burnout! ovethinking will eventually lead to burnout! doing methods that you are not confident in will eventually lead to burnout!

burnout is completely normal, and us bad bitches with mental illnesses know it all too well.

TAKE BREAKS! SLEEP ALL DAY! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!

if you have depression, take a break.

if you have adhd, take a break.

if you have anxiety, take a break.

if you have a personality disorder, take a break.

if you have anything that i'm forgetting, take a goddamn break.

if you're healthy, take a fucking break. you deserve it too.

what person has ever benefited from overworking themselves?

no one. exactly. no one realizes that by taking time for yourself, you are WORKING on yourself! you are taking back your energy and your power!

i kind of sprinkled in the bigger picture of manifesting in there, but i want to get into it more.

the bigger picture is, as i said, your healing process, growth, patience, and self concept. but it is also:

finding your power.

taking baby steps.

trusting yourself.

IT IS NOT:

doing stupid fucking methods that you are not confident in.

( psa: if you are uncomfy doing a method, DON'T DO IT. IT IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU!

ppsa: do the methods that feel right and aren't a goddamn chore! )

wondering why you haven't gotten what you wanted after you overconsumed info and tried it all everyday for a week.

i hate to say it people, i really do,

growth does not happen in a week. healing does not happen in a week. finding yourself does not happen in a week.

idc what anyone else tells you. this shit takes time and commitment. you need to work on yourself and your self concept.

self concept for dummies: your opinion of yourself. self esteem.

you cannot become truly happy with yourself in a short period of time. if you disagree, good on you - but don't shit on others for something they have no control over.

rome wasn't built in a day.

if you wake up feeling bad about yourself, that's alright (another controversial thing, having a couple bad days does not put you in the victim mindset! wow!)! put on your favorite jeans and admire how fat and amazing your ass looks in them.

smile at yourself in the mirror, replace self deprecating jokes with overly cocky jokes.

if you are severely insecure and doubt everything you do (like i was. you arent alone bby) yes, it will take time. no, you cannot fix it on a deadline. baby steps boo, focus on yourself and only yourself - not that brand new shiny toy you think you'll get if you think one nice thing about yourself.

conclusion:

it's okay to take breaks

yes self concept (therefore manifesting) takes time

being burnt out is not a bad thing

feeling bad is not a bad thing.

one day at a time (nd take a break once in a while)

focus on yourself

i am very tired and i will not be proofreading this so take what you want out of it.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

[dorkzilla-exe]

Zim, Dib, and Seven Smeets

A ZaDr series: Ep 1, Hatching Day

Dib: Zim, will you come down.

Zim: *sitting on top of the fridge* DO NOT DISTURB ME WHILE I'M IN MY PANIC SPOT!

Dib: Im just-

Zim: *crying* DIBBERSON, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!

Dib: you said that an hour ago, I've got everything set up for the celebration, so at least be down before 3, ok?

Zim: wait, you did the decorating? You did EVERYTHING?! ON YOUR OWN?!

Dib: *smiles sinisterly* yes, yes I did, all on my own, probably made some mistakes in color arrangement-

Zim: LET ME SEE! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE MESSED ANYTHING UP!! *jumps down from the fridge and scurries into the living room*

Dib: works every time...

Zim: Dib, you didn't actually mess any of the decorations!?

Dib: I studied hard when you were decorating for Gaz's birthday, so I applied your decoration tactics to this room and... well... ta-daa!

Zim: you really are amazing, Dib. You know that, right?

Dib: I got the hint the day you gave me a ring-pop and asked for my hand in marriage.

Zim: I swear I didn't know it was candy, the person who sold it to me said it was worth 5,000$ and would sell it to me for 4,900...

Dib: I really didn't care about being proposed to with a candy ring, a ring is a ring to me, wether it's candy or not. Although, it is very concerning how someone managed to sell you a ring-pop for that much.

Zim: don't remind me...

Dib: would you believe me when I say I still have it?

Zim: no, I actually wouldn't.

Dib: well I do, I had it dipped in resin so it wouldn't deteriorate.

Zim: wow, how have I not noticed it?

Dib: remember that box I where keep stuff like pendants and pins? That's where the ring is.

Zim: that's sweet.

Dib: wait a minute, I just remembered we've got one more thing to do...

Zim: The Smeet's play-pen! We've gotta decorate that! Get the streamers! I've got some decorating to do!

[About an hour later]

Dib: alright, living room decorated, snacks and cake ready, little gift bags customized for every guest, flowers and other table decorations, and Zim's in the play-pen with the eggs. We are ready for the guests to arrive and it isn't even-

[Knocking from the front door]

Dib: right on cue, must be dad cause he's been early to ever other party. *answers the door* hey- uh...

Tallest Red: hello there, you must be Dib

Tallest Purple: How has Zim been? We haven't heard too much from him since he layed the eggs.

Dib: uhhhh... Hi I'm Dib Membrane, Zim's husband. Zim's been doing wonderfully, aside from the random anxiety attacks and his weekends of depression. Please come in! We have plenty of Irken friendly food and drinks ready, but remember to save some for the other guests. You two apparently aren't the only alien guests on our list.

Tallest Red: Thank you Mr. Membrane, we appreciate your hospitality. *enters with Tallest Purple*

Zim: My Tallest! I didn't expect you to be here until 10 minutes later.

Tallest Purple: see, I told you we were too early!

Tallest Red: EUGH, we could've brought the little ones Paks...

Dib: actually, we already thought of that. My Dad works at Membrane labs and designed him "Membrane Paks". They are designed to make it easier for them to identify us in a crowd, immediately begin healing if injured, ward off any diseases and illnesses, higher pain tolerance, and give them a longer life.

Zim: the only major differences are the Designs and application process. Instead of implanting electonics in abruptly, we will apply them more delicately, carefully and less painfully.

Tallest Red: hmm, I see, it would also be much easier to identify them if they ever decided to work for the Irken Empire.

Zim: i mean, you're not wrong. But I also invited here to ask for permission to retire.

Tallest Purple: retire?

Tallest Red: eumm... sure? Why not?

[1 hour later]

Dib: Dad, Gaz, the tallest, Skoodge, Tak, Tenn, Keef, Z, Zita, Clembrane, Prisinor 777 and his kids.

Dib: that seems to be about everyone, all we're missing are-

Anne: *annoyingly beating on Dib's Door* DIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIB!

Dib: Anne and Flish...

Dib: *opens the door, making Anne fall into the house*

Anne: Crikey, you've grown! You're 'bout as tall as Flishey now!

Flish: howdy, Dib. Sorry we couldn't make it to yer wedding last year.

Dib: it's ok, come on in you two.

Tallest Purple: oh yeah... we banished HER here too...

Tallest Red: I feel like Zim isn't our biggest concern anymore.

Anne: My Tallest! It's been YEARS! how've ya been!

Tallest Purple: good~

Anne: *gasp* OH MY GOSH! The eggs! Aw, they're absolutely precious! Zim, you oughta call yourself lucky! 'Lotta Irkens can't lay eggs y'know.

Zim: eheh, I know. Which is why I didn't fully expect it.

Dib: you should've seen him, he cried his eyes out the whole time and more.

Flish: Heha! sounds like Zim a'right. But don'cha get all concerned and stuff. It's completely normal to cry during egg laying. Er, from what I've heard at least.

Dib: it's official, everyone's here.

Tallest Purple: great!... Now what?

Dib: Um, we talk.

Tallest Purple: sounds boring.

Gaz: I have Videogames.

Tallest Purple: Ooo, sounds intriguing! What do you do?

Professor Membrane: son, may I speak with you for a moment?

Dib: sure.

Professor Membrane: let's go into the other room, ok.

Dib: *nods and walks into the bedroom*

Professor Membrane: something is wrong and I can tell.

Dib: *walks over to the bad, grabs a pillow, and screams in it*

Professor Membrane: I know your stressed, but everything will be just fine. I'm sure you and Zim will be great-

Dib: But what if we arent?! I work weekends at a coffee shop and Zim works at a clothing store in a mall. We can't provide for SEVEN babies! It took a lot of saving to get this party set up! I rarely get any tips and the one tip I got last weekend was from Gaz and it was a penny.

Professor Membrane: Ok, now that's just sad.

Dib: I don't know what to do! It's hard for me to get a different job, a barista was the closest I could do because I apparently make really good lattes. *sob*

Professor Membrane: have you ever considered working with me in the labs? You already know everyone there and know the place well. Plus, I could adjust your schedule so you don't have to come every day and you get paid just for being there.

Dib: you'd do that for me?

Professor Membrane: of course! You really do need the money, I could have you work as a lab assistant, but that's a little dangerous. I could put you in the mailing room? Or-

Dib: what about food service? I can cook, I can make coffee, tea, and plenty of different desserts.

Professor Membrane: that's a wonderful idea! I could make you work down at the cafeteria so your talent isn't wasted on Lattes!

Dib: Consider me hired! Ill be there tomorrow evening-

Professor Membrane: no no, you should stay home for a few days.

Dib: but dad, I-

Professor Membrane: Dibberson, I know you want to help out as soon as you can, but right now, Zim and your children need you here. Besides, it's hard to bond with a child while you're away, right?

Dib: I guess it is.

Anne: *Bursts through the door* Dib! It's about to happen! One of the eggs moved!

Dib: bwha?! Already?! I didn't think it would be this early! *runs to the living room*

Zim: Dib! There you are! Hurry over here, you don't want to miss this!

Dib: *looks over the pen* which one moved?

Zim: This one right here. *puts egg in lap*

Dib: When will they-

Zim: any moment now...

Dib: *puts hand on egg, feeling for any movement*

Zim: Dib, can I admit something before they hatch?

Dib: go ahead.

Zim: I knew about the eggs since the first day they began developing.

Dib: wanna know something? The 4 months before I helped you with the eggs, I was suspicious that you might've been pregnant. I was kinda right.

Zim: yes, yes you were. AH! DIB, IT'S HATCHING!

Dib: *removes hand, watching both the eggs hatch and his family grow before his eyes*

Zim: thank you, Dib

Dib: hm?

Zim: thank you for everything. I'll love you forever and on.

Dib: *pure panic* wait, you dont die after the eggs hatch, do you?

Zim: No, no I don't, but I'll love you longer than you'll ever know. And that's a promise.

From then and on, Zib and Dib lived a happy and eventful life with 7 beautiful Human-Irken Smeets.

The End

Zim: Or is it?

Dib: Not really, but for now, yes.