#like if someone ever wanted a story that was about charles being evil and/or the origin of the universe falling apart

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Ppl who say charles is "a piece of shit" doesn't understand that 1: characters can have NUANCE and 2: these comics have a million different writers for each run with varying degrees of quality for each character and storyline. Some writers fuck charles up bc they dont like him/dont know how to write him. And i dont count those characterizations of Charles bc the "flaws" they gave him are in bad faith interpretation of the character. Now i love me some hypocritical asshole charles but thats not the point of his character, which is that he always struggles with trying to have a peaceful outcome which sometimes in order to get that, you have to be a manipulative asshole to bring the peace. Doesn't mean you have to like doing it either (subconsciously is a different story for a different time)

(Also sorry for giving you a wall of text lol i love your art hope you're doing well)

its just especially Interesting with charles because it's not as if Every Other Character is perfect and saintly and has never made a mistake. like i think everyone understands these characters have nuance and they'll never act 100% in the right, its only really with charles that i see people blow up his mistakes (and sometimes misinterpret his actions if not outright make up Bad Things hes done) and act as if he's ONLY ever done wrong and EVERY action he's done was done with evil or misguided intentions

[sundays-mutt]

mutuals i know you don't know arthur morgan and a lot of you never will but i really need you to know how Moving and Compelling the cowboy game is like im being deranged of course and i do hyperfixate so often but arthur morgan is such a well written character he has such an amazing arc and genuinely it makes me sick thinking about him for more than a single minute. his entire story is based in this inevitable doom and its obvious from the beginning of the game that things are starting to go wrong. you learn about arthur slowly, and at the start - he's exactly the kind of man and protagonist you expect. he's cold and he's uncaring at least seemingly and he's awkward and he's badass and what every man who plays a game like this would want. but then he isn't. you start to play the game and you look at arthurs journal and you get to see him introspect and you get to view the sort of tenderness he sees the entire world with. he is so tender he is so thoughtful he is so considerate of nature and he takes so many things to heart. he has something to say and introspect of everyone he meets. he cares deeply about this world he's in and struggles so much to find a place with in. he admonishes himself and praises characters like charles who seem to be so good naturally. he believes deeply in his own evil and acts on, and he has a code sure - but he never feels good about what he does and it causes him such deep strife. he clings onto the life he has because its all he knows. being an outlaw is all he has ever known of himself, been like that since he was fourteen. just a boy and the two men who adopted him into his gang. he clings so desperately onto this belief that even when things fall apart, all arthur can hope for is that he can save those he cares about. its what he has always wanted deep down. its who he is which is someone who is sensitive and careful and wants deeply to live in a good world and be apart of a good world. the gang falls apart and everything goes to shit and where does that leave arthur? when young men and good men die? the man he admires as his father dies and whats left of them becomes the worst version of himself and so arthur, after all of this time, becomes his own man. at some point, he realizes what matters most to him is his brother and the woman he has a child with. and he realizes that he is simply afraid but what of exactly? of believing that he was good all along. of accepting that he has changed and that he was always good. its all so very complicated and shit starts to go down hill so quickly and just when you think it can't get worse - arthur goes to the doctor. hes sick. its tuberculosis. ailment that he received when he beat a man who couldn't pay his debts and committed a sin so great. arthur is going to die. he's sick. its not a bullet that will kill him but the weakness in his body. the same thing will happen to him in some crazy tragedy. arthur will give his life up for john and he won't regret it. he'll tell the shell of his father figure that he gave up everything for him. he will die alone in the mountains and see a stag bathed in yellow gold. but he will believe in goodness at the end because of a nun in saint denis and the woman mothering his little brothers child. he will believe deeply in the kindness of the world because he chooses to. arthur will die because he is doomed to die. there's nothing he can do except go, and he will never live to know what an impact he had on those around him. every life he's ever touched so profoundly effected by him and he never gets to find out. the man he used to admire so much, charles, buries arthur somewhere where the sun always rises. even in death he haunts the world of the game like a ghost. arthur morgan is dead and you'll hear him every where you go. john inherits his dead brothers journal and his guns and everything else and he learns a side to him he never knew. arthur morgan is dead and the world rippled in his absence like a drop of water pulsing through a lake. and he loved. most of all he loved the people around him. he loved.

[technically-human]

Do you write longer fics?! Just the tidbit of Charles in the Hell Train has my brain wheels turning. I can extrapolate and guess how some of their story would go, but you have such thought put into them. I would hate for you to be like "aw man they totally got this part of the au wrong!" if someone else tried their hand at it, and I would love to read more (and more art). You seem to do both really well

I write... Occasionally. I'm a bit insecure about it, especially in English. I would really love it if someone wrote about the reverse verse, even if their interpretation was different from mine! It would be a lot of fun to read that. I doubt I could make it entertaining enough, though.

I did write The Lamps Are Going Out which is an AU with Edwin as an evil spirit!

And I'm currently working on a couple of fics. Hopefully I'll actually finish them at some point. Here's a fragment of a fic I titled Possibly, maybe

The thing was, Charles had rejected people before.

Back when he was thirteen and alive, the neighborhood kids started taunting him about one of the girls. Amanda, who lived a few streets away from him, had apparently told someone that she fancied Charles, and the rumors spread until Charles himself heard about it. He had never given Amanda much thought, they often crossed paths while going to church, and that was Charles in his best behavior and therefore the most boring –and bored– version of himself. They had probably talked a total of ten times, half of them being a simple greeting. Charles didn't like her back, and resolved to ignore the rumors.

That worked for all of two weeks before Amanda decided to do something about it. She probably had been, Charles knew even back then, waiting for him to be the one to do something, as was the proper way. He wouldn't, though, and whether it was because she knew it or simply that she wasn't willing to wait, she ended up asking him out.

It had been uncomfortable, Charles could hear the giggles from two other girls who had accompanied Amanda and were waiting just a few steps behind her. He wanted to say no, really, because so far he had only considered girls in an abstract, distant sort of way, and again, Amanda wouldn't have been his first choice. But something like anxiety pooled in his stomach, wiping his sweaty palms against his trousers had helped none, and in the end Charles had blurted out an answer that he only fully registered as positive when Amanda squealed happily, her friends running to hug her and jump in place.

Always impulsive, Charles figured that it shouldn't matter. Dating didn't seem all that hard and, after all, he only ever saw her on Sundays. Of course, Amanda's plans were very different. Suddenly, she was everywhere Charles was at, and she always wanted to hold hands or talk or walk together. She would get her bicycle and follow him when he wanted to practice tricks on his skateboard –he was shit at it, and she certainly didn't seem impressed, demanding he paid attention to her after half an hour most of the time, even though she owned a walkman and could probably keep herself entertained– or expect him to walk her home despite the fact that he had to then turn around and walk back a couple streets to get to his place, which they had passed a few minutes prior.

The other neighborhood kids, who had initially mocked him for having a girl be into him, continued to laugh and whistle and shout stuff whenever Amanda took his hand or leaned against his shoulder or called him a cheesy pet name.

They only dated for three weeks, and she was Charles' first kiss.

One morning, as Charles was trying to recover from a cricket game the night before –they had won, and his team was closer to another useless trophy that he could use to decorate his room. His body was sore, but it was a kind of pain he usually welcomed– his dad barged into the room, demanding he do something useful instead of wasting all day in bed. Charles got up and followed his father to the garage, where it was decided that “something useful” meant helping him repair the car.

It was fun. His dad wasn't the most patient person, and he would very quickly resort to yelling if something wasn't understood on the first try, but Charles paid as much attention as he could, asked very little questions and only got scolded a couple of times throughout the day. By the end of it, the car was working properly and, although his body was aching even more than before, it was still a far more pleasant pain than the one his father tended to leave him with.

As was the case every time Charles successfully interacted with his father, he craved to make the day last. Sitting on the porch, his father drinking an ale, Charles taking a few disgusting sips whenever Paul offered the can to him, he searched his brain for a topic of conversation –one that wouldn't ruin the day, that wouldn't end with his body hurting in a different, perhaps more familiar, way– and ended up talking about Amanda. In all honesty, he couldn't quite recall what words he had actually used. Nothing unkind, he liked to think. He had not fancied Amanda, but she was a pleasant enough girl, if somewhat galling. Whatever came out of his mouth, it didn't make his dad angry, but instead caused him to laugh loudly and push Charles in a way that was meant to be friendly, but caused him to involuntarily tense every muscle in his body.

“Look at our Charlie,” his dad had said, smile huge, proud, and Charles had stared, stunned. “Breaking hearts already!”

Charles had smiled back, elated, proud of himself, feeling big and important and good, and like he was finally getting the hang of it, like soon enough his dad would run out of reasons to be angry at him, and everything would be smooth sailing from then on.

Breaking the heart in question was decidedly less fun than being praised for it. Amanda cried when Charles told her he didn't fancy her anymore. He hadn't felt proud of himself or big or good at all, and she stopped saying hello even when they crossed paths at church, where Charles was in his best, most apologetic behavior. His father never did ask how the breakup went, almost like he forgot that whole conversation. Charles was very careful to reject people properly, kindly, after that.

Edwin was a different story. There had been no neighborhood kids to warn Charles of his feelings, but in over thirty years of friendship, there were some moments in which he wondered. Sometimes, Edwin would look at him for a little too long, or smile a little too sweetly, or treat him a little too kindly, and Charles would wonder. He would then push the feeling aside, save his suspicion for more important things, and tell himself that, even if it was true –and that “if” was really carrying that whole sentence– it wouldn't be anyone's problem until someone went and opened their mouth about it. Charles promised himself he wouldn't be that someone. There was no joy that could come from breaking anyone's heart, let alone Edwin's.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to resent his friend when he decided to confirm what Charles only occasionally dared to suspect, and whatever bit of attention he ever afforded his dad, whatever bit of love he held for the most important person in the world, whatever bit of care he put into not breaking any more hearts, he poured into his answer, and willed it to be enough to stop himself from even cracking this precious thing that was offered to him, and that he only ever strived to protect.

Even with something like anxiety in his stomach, and with sweaty palms that he didn't even try to dry on his trousers, Charles reeled in that part of him that always wanted to make people happy, and rejected the person he loved the most in the world, unwilling to be impulsive about this.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode four thoughts

hey remember last post where i said last episode gave me everything I wanted. HOW ARE WE FEELING NOW BOYS. WE GOT THE BREAKDOWN!!! THAT MAN HAD AN EMOTIONAL OUTBURST AND COLLAPSED WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!

okay so i was wrong and charles' dad did not kill him. that's fine tbh I like this a lot, that he was essentially accidentally killed by his friends bc he stood up to them when they were bullying someone (? i think that's what the scene was implying. idk i was really excited about seeing him have a mental breakdown i might have missed something 😭). not to say that what they were doing was an accident, i just don't think they were trying to kill him i think they took the bullying too far and then maybe panicked when he died and covered it up, and that's why his death is unsolved? anyway very interesting! they truly do not miss with charles everything we've gotten from him is so great it makes me even more excited for edwin backstory haha

GOD CHARLES' BREAKDOWN.... that is everything i've ever wanted from a character repressing their emotions do u understand that. he got slammed into some of his worst memories, the most painful and traumatic moments of his life, and then with all those emotions back on the surface he went apeshit!!! i Love him getting aggressive to protect his friends (because that's really what he does, isn't it. he's the brains, i'm the brawn. god.) and then breaking down crying because he can't keep pretending like things are fine anymore, there's too much all at once for him to shrug it off. PHENOMENAL stellar acting stellar writing i love all of this i am eating it like soup!!!

and just. the things he was saying, about how he has to keep being positive he has to keep it together because if he doesn't who will? who else have they got to keep spirits up and stop the group from self-destructing? god it's. so good. i am not going to elaborate on some of that striking a nerve but. god. they gave me everything i wanted to see i love it so much!!! that is everything i hoped for from this story beat you understand!!!!

i wonder if maybe jenny is going to get an episode? or like a b-plot focused on her, something like that. the love letters seem like a plot thread that's going to be pulled on later, it just doesn't seem like this show to establish a mystery and then have it only be a background detail. we'll see tho ^^ i love jenny, i'd love to see more of her she's so fun. reminds me of a friend of mine tbh so i am biased, but also i deeply appreciate a woman with knives on a societal and also personal level 👍

okay can i just say. the night nurse (thank u noble for telling me her name <3) is kind of an asshole right. like i don't think she's evil she's doing a very necessary job, but it's actually delightful how ruthless she is about it. oh these two souls are refusing to move on? throw them into their worst traumas and the most painful moments of their lives to convince them there's nothing worth staying on earth for. sure, it's cruel, but who cares? it's efficient, and that's what matters. these are just children acting out to her, who don't understand the importance of what she does to keep everything in order. i love ruthless characters, and she's done so well she's so fun to watch

also. i do not think this is the last we've seen of her. like yeah she got fed to a sea monster but also she's literally from the afterlife and can travel back to earth wherever as long as she gets the permits. so. i think they bought some time, but that won't last long and they're still stuck in the town so i think she's far from done with them, and we'll see her again probably sooner rather than later (especially since she knows where they're staying)

crystal. my girl. beloved. PLEASE stop almost dying every episode it's bad for my blood pressure. you don't understand you're a living person which means they can kill you while still having you as a character on the show by making you become a ghost. you and niko don't have that safety net Please be more careful 😭

we got some really interesting lilith lore this episode, and it's got me thinking. a goddess of blood and wronged women... what about esther? she's been kidnapping and killing little girls, is that not wronging them? has it just not caught up to her yet because she's been making sacrifices, and if so what happens now that the squad has stopped her from kidnapping more kids? is she on some kind of time limit? this is So interesting I am deeply intrigued by the possibilities here...

the cat king was... there. okay i will admit the scene where he shapeshifted into monty and then charles was interesting. the implications are Fascinating, especially the order- he shifts into monty first and only briefly, but it doesn't seem to affect edwin until he shifts into charles. and then, edwin seems almost entranced until the yellow eyes show through which is. there are certainly implications! idk if it means anything besides instinctively trusting charles more bc they've known each other longer or something like that- especially considering this is netflix we're talking about, but then again the show got cancelled so maybe things did get gay! they've also set up edwin possibly having a crush on monty, or at least being unsure how he feels about him so. no idea but i am Keeping An Eye On That 👀

also. him saying he's never really been interested in/seen the appeal of kissing but now isn't sure whether it's something he wants... clutching grayro/demiro edwin to my chest. this is mine now he's one of us 👍

speaking of edwin, his moment there with niko at the end was really sweet. they're watching scooby doo together 😭 it's the perfect blend of their interests bc it's a detective cartoon.... their friendship is so cute holy shit. the simplicity and genuineness of their dynamic is so sweet, how edwin praises niko's detective work (telling her she's good at something very important to him!) and niko offers a listening ear without judgement as he works through what looks like it's shaping up to be a sexuality crisis. they mean so much to me... they're friends your honor!!!!

oh also charles and crystal kissed. idk man i don't have many thoughts on that. good for them 👍 I think the framing was sweet, in that the show sets up the kiss as the 'something real' crystal wants, but i will admit that part of me is disappointed because i wanted crystal and niko to get together. idk i thought they balanced each other out well, with crystal being subtle where niko is blunt and niko having hope where crystal is cynical, but. that's fine. i wasn't super invested. it's fine. no lesbians for me i guess... sad! oh well

all silliness aside, this episode was yet another Banger they simply do not miss!! the lighthouse ghost was such a fun character, and i love niko's kindness shining through again as she offers edwin red sea glass for courage and the walrus man green sea glass for emotional stability after telling him how she found the washerwoman. niko sasaki the woman that you are.... anyway i'm starting the next episode and then afterwards we'll see how i feel i might need to break for dinner lol

[creepylittlelady]

I am so desperate to share these so, Slenderman Headcanons [PUPPET STRINGS LORE DUMP]

Okay so I wanted to wait until the day someone asked about Slenderman and Zalgo's characterisation in my AU, but I don't know when that time will come and I seriously NEED to share this with all of you.

This AU has been in the works since 2016 and has been my number 1 hyperfixation, and Slenderman is one characters that I had the most fun making. I love love LOVE every rendition of him, from Your Dad Slenderman to EVIL MANIPULATIVE ELDRITCH MONSTER. I want to give homage to both of these renditions by bringing in my own Slender to the mix! I hope you like it, because Zalgo will get his own post very soon ;)

I'm currently writing his backstory on AO3! Chapter 5 should be up soon ;)

As I've said previously, Slenderman and Zalgo are my favourite characters! I just wanna lore dump about him right now because BRAINROT BRAINROT BRAINROT

So without further ado...

The "Slenderman"

-He's not actually one being or entity, although he'd like you to believe otherwise. He's actually a hivemind of two consciousnesses; Lord Operator, and the Vengeful Spirit Charles.

-Slenderman is actually just the body that's basically holding these two entities hostage, technically. Neither of them can escape, although they've definitely tried. Multiple times. Slenderman doesn't have a consciousness of his own and is just a horrifying mixture of the two of them combined into one.

-NEITHER OF THEM ARE HAVING A FUN TIME. They hate it and will go to great lengths to get out. His brain is just the two of them arguing about who gets to control the body at any given moment, and they both have ulterior motives of their own.

-A little backstory: Charles, the Vengeful Spirit, was sacrificed to the Operator and made a deal with him that he would allow himself to be used a Vessel in exchange for his lifespan to be elongated. However over the years Operator began to use Charles' body for more and more depraved purposes. Eventually this drove him insane and caused him to kill himself. However at that point the Operator was so co-dependant on his soul that it basically killed it too, and it had to use some of its remaining abilities to create a new body so that neither of them would really die.

-When Charles is fully in control, he is a 'decently' humane being and can sometimes even be a Father Figure to some of the residents of the Mansion. However he still retains some of his negative traits from life, such as being nihilistic and at times selfish. He's sociopathic as a joke and mainly spends his days trying desperately to fix whatever things he did when the Operator took over.

-When it's Charles, he actually has a good relationship with all of the Residents, and has more of a sit-com Boss-Employee relationship with the Proxies, often laughing at their misfortune. Although he and Sally argue a lot Sally is very close to him when he's Charles.

The same thing cannot be said for when its the Operator.

-The Operator first and foremost is a former God. Although it wasn't a very well-known God, it still said a web of loyal worshippers. However ever since its power was (mostly) stripped away and had to unwillingly transport itself into this new body, its hated every second of it there. The reasons why the Proxies exist in the first place is to create new followers for it so it can gain more power.

-It's absolutely HORRIBLE to everyone else when it takes over. He's mentally and physically abusive, lashing out at everyone who dares disobey it. Its manipulative as well, and the Pastas who are sensitive to that thing, like Toby, Natalie etc often lock themselves away when its taken over.

-Several rooms that Charles doesn't know the purpose of are usually used by the Operator to torture the residents into submission. There are multiple Basements and secret rooms that its locked people inside to get them to 'obey' its command.

-Several of the Slenderverse stories, like Marble Hornets happened when the Operator took over. It often goes unconscious again and leaves Slenderman to deal with the consequences.

(Okay to explain, when I talk about the Operator specifically I'll refer to it as 'Operator', but when its Charles I'll refer to him as Slenderman, Slender, Slendy etc).

-Slenderman is not having a fun time. Random people keep on confronting him and coming up to him when he has no idea who they are and why they're here. He has NO idea on who Toby, Masky or Hoodie are nor how they ended up here. However he's apathetic to it and decided to be decent to them for as long as he's the one in charge of the Slenderman body.

-Whenever the Operator becomes too violent, Zalgo has to come and knock it out. Yep, Zalgo has to beat the shit out of it and basically chain Slender up to get it out, or at least sedate it enough so that it doesn't do anything violent.

-Remember how I mentioned how they've both desperately tried to leave? Yeah, the Slenderman body is fucking terrifying to look at naked. Its severely malnourished, with bruises, shock wounds, stab wounds, slash wounds, cilice wounds and just open wounds EVERYWHERE. They've both tried to leave by any means necessary, and are slowly killing the vessel to try and escape.

-More lore important characters such as Zalgo, Lazari, EJ and Ben sort deal with problems like this as well. But Jesus fucking Christ is Slenderman having a horrible time. He has to basically deal with his own Slender Sickness (Slender Sickness actually comes from the Operator, since most mortals can't perceive Gods without their bodies basically shutting down).

-If Masky and Hoodie are slowly going insane from Slender Sickness, Slender is basically killing himself from it. He's always on the verge of psychosis, suffering from some kind of really disgusting illness, or otherwise just not having a great time. The body is a-okay when its the Operator, but when its Slenderman he's just not having fun.

-Its basically eternal damnation being stuck in that body. Its like an eternal punishment of lies and deceit, waking up every day not knowing that tortures you'll suffer through. However since this has been going on for about 123 years now, they're both used to it at this point.

-Due to being used as vessel and basically being trapped in an endless cycle of torment since the ripe age of 11, Slender's a bit apathetic to the Proxies' situation.

For Example:

Masky: You do realise that we're all suffering because of you, right? Slender: It's not even that deep Timothy we all get mentally and physically imprisoned by a nonhuman Entity at times you just have to deal with it. Masky: Slender, are you okay? Slender: *vomits out a dead corpse* yes why wouldn't I be.

Although he does feel remorse for the fact that Masky, Hoodie and Toby's situation will probably never improve due to the Operator basically holding them captive at the Labrinth, he just doesn't feel that much sympathy for them, as that idea of being used for an upper beings entertainment is just normalised to him.

-Despite the fact that some of the Pastas call him dad are nice to him, a lot of them hate him. Some of the ghost kids refuse to go near him due to the Operator's actions, and his brothers are all scared of him, although Operator cut contact with them years ago.

-One bittersweet tidbit: Slenderman has tentacles because it represents Charles' favourite animal; Octopi.

Okay that's like the only sweet headcanon I have for this guy.

-Slender isn't a good person even though he's a lot better than Operator, although he is actively trying to be a better person for the Pastas' benefit, due to being a vengeful spirit he's definitely prone to violent fits. He can and will hurt you if you agitate him enough, even though it doesn't happen often.

-The Slenderman Vessel is incredibly unstable, so neither of them know their own strength. Because of this, Slender has accidentally flung Toby out of a window more times than he would care to admit.

Also sometimes it just doesn't do what it's told? There's like a 5% chance that it just doesn't teleport where you want it to at any given point, which is very inconvenient.

-Often times when Slender knows the Operator is about to take over (he doesnt' really have a choice on when it happens), he just leaves the Labrinth. He usually stays in Zalgo's castle for months, even a year on end. Yes, the Operator can stay for THAT long.

Do any of the other Residents know?

-As a general rule of thumb; no, they don't. Neither Charles nor the Operator will tell, and even when Charles tries to explain whats happening the Operator will ALWAYS stop him by any means necessary.

Once, he tried to explain what happened after disappearing for half a year, but the Operator had forcibly forced his body to shut down, so he was just sitting there unconscious.

Slender: It all started when I was 11 years o- *starts choking* Hoodie: Oh my god is he having a stroke Slender: *is just unconscious sitting in his chair* Masky: Does this mean Payday is getting delayed or do I still get a raise? Toby: Man wtf

-Due to this unpredictability on whether they'll get 'Nice Slender' or 'Mean Slender' at any given moment, most of the Pastas are dead terrified of him. Although they won't show it sometimes when they see him ominously walking the halls at night or if he doesn't show up for breakfast that morning they all subconsciously start worrying that the Mean Slender's back.

-Sally is especially terrified of him. Slender brought her to the Mansion out of the Operator's wishes, which he HATES. Everytime the Operator comes out he tries to actively harm Sally, which is why she hides in her room for months on end or runs to the back end of the forest.

-Ben, EJ and Lazari all kind of understand whats happening, at least they have a semblance of an idea. Toby knows for the most part due to doing some snooping. However nobody else has a clue and it will probably stay like that for a long time.

[schneidt79]

Cops and Clobbers in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 14) by author Ann Charles

My 5 Star Review: *****

In this latest installment, Violet has got to get her hands on Mrs. Wolfe's magical clocks and time is running out! Unfortunately, that means grabbing them out from under the big nose of one Detective Hawke. A man that's been itching to send Vi to the slammer since day one. It's gonna take a lot of help from her usual crew of misfits, and maybe from some unexpected places too.

Will she succeed in this timely caper? And if she does, will she finally figure out how to be a Timekeeper? Will she be able to manage that on top of being a monster slayer, mom, girlfriend, misfit wrangler, and a not-so-successful real estate agent? Find out in DEADWOOD (HUMOROUS) MYSTERY book 14!

Ann Charles' Deadwood books always deliver laughs, chills, and "the feels", all in an addictive series that you never want to end! They are part comedy, mystery, romance, and thriller with supernatural & paranormal fights to the death. They are also about family, both blood and chosen, and loyalty to the end.

This heroine may not have signed up to protect people from evil but she's the only one to take up the call. She's scared but does what she must in order to protect her kids, her friends, and the innocent. All while trying to hold down a job, raise said kids, get quality time with her man, and somehow manage to stay alive.

Not only do you find yourself rooting for the heroine but all of her friends and allies too. Nobody writes quirky and lovable the way Ann does. The reader gets pulled into the lives of these zany characters & they begin to feel like real-life friends.

Her human "bad guys" are so "real" that you'll have inevitably met someone in your day to day life that reminds you of them. You end up loathing these baddies and cannot wait til they get their due! You love to hate them.

Her "other" baddies are spooky, creepy, & mysterious-usually with a lust for mayhem and a craving for flesh and blood. These monsters are sometimes humanoid and not quite so bad but usually they are looking to kill. Unfortunately, Violet and her crew are the only ones around to stop them.

Every new book is like visiting old friends but these old friends are always getting pulled into a new adventure that keeps the story fresh and exciting. I highly recommend the Deadwood Mystery Series and every other series by Ann Charles! Again, COPS AND CLOBBERS IN DEADWOOD is book 14 in the series. If you are new to this author and interested in this series, book 1 is titled Nearly Departed in Deadwood.

**FOR MATURE AUDIENCE: ADULT LANGUAGE, ACTION, & IMAGERY, ALONG WITH VIOLENCE & DEATH**

Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

Natalie crossed her arms, leaning back against the front door. “Is it true?” she asked me. “Are you planning to play a game of clocks and robbers?”

“Don’t you mean cops and robbers?”

She smirked. “With the way your luck has been running these days, babe, it will be more like cops and clobbers.”

~Natalie Beals and Violet Parker

*******

"Would I ever be relaxed enough in this role that a decapitated head was simply business as usual? Lordy, I hoped not."

~Violet Parker

*******

“You talk tough for someone who closes her eyes when she swings an ax.”  

~Doc Nyce to Violet Parker

*******

Available in ebook, print, with audio coming in February 2025!

Don't forget, you can always download FREE samples of any book you're interested in!

Author Direct Buy Link:

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Barnes & Noble Link:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cops-and-clobbers-in-deadwood-ann-charles/1146596142?ean=2940184749792

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[misireads]

Myrrys ("Sage") by Anniina Mikama

[ physical book, read in finnish ]

a charles dickens-esque story with a sprinkle of magic set in the kainuu region of finland in the famine years of early 1800s, niilo is an orphaned boy living in poor conditions as a slave in a wealthy-ish farmer family. his life is shit, especially thanks to the cruel master of the house, but he cannot complain since the family bothered to take him as a small child when his mother died.

one day, a local sage takes niilo as his apprentice as the payment for curing the family's son's leg that's mauled by a bear. niilo is scared of the sage at first because of his reputation as a witch doctor doing black magic in the middle of the woods, but the man turns out to be a fine lad and the first person ever who treats niilo as an equal human being. they live together for almost a year, going through all sorts of experiences and little adventures together, and become close friends.

➕ so this is a book for younger teenagers, it was in the children&teens area at the library, so it has a juvenile vibe that softens the harsh themes a lot. it's a mid-length book, almost 400 pages, and somehow felt simultaneously very long, like the story felt very big for a book of this length, but was fast to read because there's a lot happening all the time also due to the YA nature probably. there are several episodic chapters where niilo and martin go hunting, niilo helps a man out of a frozen lake, etc.

➕ martin the sage is a very sympathetic character, i liked him a lot. niilo has less personality but he's meant to be the young hero character coming from poor conditions and thriving when someone actually likes him and gives him the chance, i find that very dickens-like. there aren't exactly any flaws about him, he's perfect at just about anything he does in the entire book, his "flaw" is that the farmer family doesn't like him. the real MVPs of the story are the pastor who helps niilo to reconnect with his family and the farmer family's son who has the truest character development arc.

➕ the finnish mythology elements

➕ beautifully written, this author's commitment to descriptions of nature and especially the woods is no joke

➖ i don't really like stuff set in historical finland, like the aesthetics of this sort of old-timey living conditions shit are off-putting. i don't even care about museums with this theme or anything.

➖ i was expecting this to have more fantasy elements… the first spread before the real book begins opens with a spell in the archaic finnish style so i really thought that was supposed to set the tone, but it was just kind of a minor element in here after all. i mean it's important, niilo saves the day with his forest magic several times, but overall… just not as much mythology stuff as i expected. honestly my expectations got in the way once again because i was hoping this would be like teen lit about finnish mythology set in modern times so when i realised very early on it's not, it kinda flattened my mood and the start was very slow for me because i was like ehh… meehhhhh…. a farm house in northern(ish) finland in the 1820s….. bleh.... do i have to read this.....

➖ juhani the master of the farm house is such a comically evil character. but i feel like that too is a dickens-esque character archetype? there's the mean, wealthy man who turns out to be fradulent on multiple fronts and it comes down to the young hero to prove it to everyone. still, i just kind of wanted someone to grab an ax and toss it at his head like, five pages in

⭐ score: 4 -- i teared up reading the final page and am not even sure why, maybe some line struck a chord or it was just the story coming to an end. but i never cry at anything so that has to be the sign of a great book

[moontheoretist]

Lol, said a person who wouldn't notice good storytelling if it hit them in the fucking face. Don't listen to this asshole OP, and just block. Any person who shits on fanfiction and equals fanfiction with bad writing never actually read any fanfiction or any good writing in their entire fucking life. Those are people who are literature purists, who can't stand when something doesn't go the "proper way". Everything this person says is just pure elitist literature bullshit that I had to deal with when I studied writing. I'm tired of people like this and their crap. Not to mention that apparently this person is so offended they started to target ANY post that is even remotely happy about this change, and is insulting everybody who even dares to like the change. Oh bohoo, I'm sorry, I know good storytelling when I see it and I don't gatekeep.

Honestly, put the sock in their mouth and don't encourage them.

Everybody who has functioning brain cells knows that Mystique and Destiny are villains and suck at parenting. But it doesn't mean we are not allowed to celebrate that Kurt is the baby born in a queer family. We long ago went past the "representation of queer people can only show them as good, otherwise it's homophobic" stage, and now we can have villains and evil characters be queer as well without feeling bad about it, because guess what, queer people can be bad people.

As long as there are good queer people in the story's universe, it's not a problem that bad queer people exist, because nobody is demonized then. Making villains have sympathetic stories that don't lead to their redemption and are basically tales about how evil people can also be driven by causes that are close to any average person, is a good thing because it combats the narrative that evil is born from evil. Lol nope, if someone lived in real world and truly paid attention then they know that bad people are not born bad, which means that any person can turn out to be bad. But obviously people like this asshole can't grasp that, because they live in the delusion that only evil births evil, that no good person could ever do anything that is objectively bad or evil.

They live in the world of 2-dimensional constructs, not people.

Also, Charles Xavier was always shady and did shady shit. We often see him as good only because Magneto is bad for stupid reasons, lol. But when you look at them separately, Charles is your typical liberal that wants to preserve the status quo. Not someone who wants to make any meaningful change. While Magneto is the one who wants to create that change, but because society fears change and sees it as something inherently bad, Magneto is turned into a villain who is trying to achieve his goal by evil means, because society can't accept that sometimes meaningful change needs to shake or even destroy the foundations of the society and build them up from scratch. This fact is literally why most of Marvel freedom movement people end up being villains. This is a notorious problem for Marvel Comics, despite the fact that they're trying to tell stories about liberation and change.

X-Men are basically a story about persecution of people due to smth that they have no control over, and fight for liberation of mutant kind. It's bonkers to me that someone who wants to change the society to not persecute the mutants is written like a Nazi who wants to create a supremacy of mutants instead. It only shows that the idea that "if you give people rights, then they will create a supremacy to oppress their oppressor" is still very much alive in the minds of many people.

It's a stupid idea that doesn't make any sense, but alas.

A time-stamp so bad that it gives the ones from Frank Miller’s All-Star Batman & Robin a serious run for their money in just how little sense it makes! From Chuck Austen’s most infamous X-Men storyline, The Draco, wherein the very first page of the issue flashing back to Nightcrawler’s birth is complete and utter FAIL:

To explain why Nightcrawler’s birth taking place “20-years ago” makes absolutely ZERO sense, when Kurt Wagner was established as a member of the all-new X-Men in Giant-Sized X-Men #1 during the mid-1970s, it was established that the youngest team member at the time was Colossus at age 18. And shortly after in Uncanny X-Men (1963) #129, Kitty Pryde joined the team at age 13 and-a-half. And to make matters even worse, shortly before The Draco came out in the early 2000s it was established in Chris Claremont’s X-Treme X-Men run that Kitty held a job bartender while attending the University of Chicago, and in the city of Chicago required people to be at least 21-years-old in order to have a bartending license at the time the series was written.

So that means at least 8-years had passed in-universe between Nightcrawler’s introduction to the X-Men and the Draco, and Kurt was obviously older than 18 in Giant-Sized X-Men #1. So there’s absolutely no way his birth took place “20-years-ago.”

You’d think an editor would have caught such an obvious mistake… but I guess not…

And that’s not even getting into the WORST aspects of The Draco, which not only made Nightcrawler’s father this Satan-wannabe named Azazel (which thankfully the recent X-Men Blue: Origins one-shot retconned by going with Claremont’s original plan of Mystique being Kurt’s true father and Destiny his mother…), but features Azazel stupidly plotting to escape from a Hell-like dimension he was trapped in by going to Earth to breed a bunch of mutant teleporters who could open a portal allowing him to return to Earth.

Except… if Azazel could already leave his dimension in order to have a bunch of babies on Earth, then what’s even the point of his plan in the first place?!

From Uncanny X-Men (1963) #428 by Chuck Austen & Sean Phillips.

[maxwell-grant]

Having asked your thoughts on designing Frankenstein's daemon, might I now ask your thoughts on bringing Count Dracula from the written word into illustration? (I'm definitely in favour of the 'Hairy Old Mountain Man of Horror pretending he's people' look from the original novel; one of the small tests too many Draculas fail to pass is an absolutely tragic lack of the Evil Beard and/or Wicked Moustache explicitly described by Mr Stoker).

Unlike with Frankenstein, where I think the design needs to be painstakingly thought out in order to achieve the best balance of the creature's traits for horror and tragedy alike, I think with Dracula you can actually just take an approach of "whatever works". Because as I mentioned before, I think much of the appeal and longevity of Dracula is how the character's both a layered villain as well as a shapeshifting narrative force that can be tailored to whatever you want to do with. Granted, there are bad or dissappointing Dracula designs, of course there are, but in regards to the leeway you get for reinterpretation, you get a lot more of it with Dracula than with other literary icons.

Like with Frankenstein, I'm gonna bring up how I'd tackle a less grim, more comedy-centric Dracula first, one that's less a force of horror and more of a charismatic villain, and I think to that end I definitely agree that people are sleeping a lot on the hairy old man barely-passing-off-as-humanoid of the original story. Despite very much loving these performers, I'm actually not a fan of takes that mold Dracula too closely to people who've portrayed him, like Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee, partially because I think it's a waste of an opportunity to create your own Dracula design. Since I can't draw (yet), I'll do what I usually do and make a board of images to try and convey some of my thoughts on one way I'd design Dracula.

(Pictured: Kiwi's design for Dracula, Hotel Transylvania concept art, Nandor, Castlevania Dracula, Charles Dance in Dracula Untold, Vladislav, a Transylvanian rug)

I used the images in my other Dracula post and I’ll post it here again because I absolutely adore @kiwibyrd's designs for Dracula and it's main heroes, in particular I love the way it strikes a good balance at making sure Dracula looks distinctly separate from the humans, but not too much that he couldn't conceivably operate in society as just a harmless old man. I also adore the mustache and bushy eyebrows and pointy ears and I think these three are wonderful features to keep on any Dracula design. I'm also very partial to the Hotel Transylvania concept art, even if it makes me incredibly depressed to look at all the great designs they had for Dracula that they threw in the trash because they somehow decided making him look like Adam Sandler was the idea to go with.

I deeply adore What We Do In The Shadows, both the movie and the show, and Jemaine Clement's Vladislav is one of my favorite (maybe even my actual favorite) on-screen Draculas. But I also enjoy Nandor just as much, and I think it's really great that as a character he's completely different from Vlad while also being ostensibly a take on Dracula, and in particular I bring up his Jersey look because "Dracula in common clothing" is a criminally underrated concept for a joke.

As a character, I'm very partial to comedy takes on Dracula that play him up as a decadent aristocratic supervillain, the kind that can get away with talking in third person. I also have this idea for a version of Dracula who dresses ostentatiously in finely-broidered Romanian or Transylvanian patterns, maybe even wearing a rug as a cape, claiming that he's carrying the legacy of his people on his back. And of course he's lying, he's not Vlad Tepes and he's not even Romanian, he is just a parasite pretending to have a history to be proud of, but good luck getting him to admit that. And finally, I'd like this version to be played by Charles Dance, and I consider it a tremendous crime against humanity that he has yet to play Dracula proper even despite being in a film with the character's name on the title.

So that's kinda how I would design a take on Dracula for something more comedic or more based around him as this guest character and personality on-set. Now, if we're talking a more serious version, I think the possibilities increase, and I won't be getting into all of them because I may prefer to keep them to myself, but I'll elaborate a few ideas.

For example, the edition of Dracula I personally own comes with these really scratchy, really creepy B&W illustrations related to the story, that I can't find scanned online so I'm uploading them here so you can look at. They don't necessarily depict the scenes but rather some of the story's moments, like Van Helsing staking Lucy, Renfield in a straightjacket, Dracula as a coachman, and they are more focused on conveying the horror of the concepts at play.

Dracula never looks the same way in any of the illustrations, in fact you kinda have to piece him out of them by trying to find teeth or capes or eyes or bat-features to see where he's hiding this time. In the first, it's the half-man half-bat, in the 2nd, he's the shrieking bat silhouette next to Renfield, and in the latter, he's the gaping jaws and eerily humanoid eyes in the wolf. The effect to me almost feels like if you were to look at a bunch of tv static and then see a humanoid shape form for a split second before everything went back to normal, something like you'd get from Slender Man or other modern creepypastas, and I’ve argued before that Dracula’s form of horror is a very modern one. 

In terms of illustrations of Dracula that keep up the original traits while still pulling off horror, I definitely have to hand it to the one at the left of the image above, drawn by regourso on Deviantart (account deleted at present). Going back to Castlevania’s many takes on Dracula, two in particular that stick out to me would be Castlevania: Judgment’s armored dress Dracula, who’s got this great twisted heart/rose motif going on in his outfit, and Dracula’s final form in SOTN where he just sits in his throne and his cape twists into all these monsters, particularly how it’s depicted by witnesstheabsurd’s depiction. 

I’m not particularly a fan of how Dracula’s “final form” in these games is usually just some big demon, and part of what I like about his final form in SOTN instead is that, while it’s not a particularly challenging final boss, I do find it interesting the idea of us never actually getting to see what Dracula’s true final form looks like, only an ever-shifting pitch-black torrent of teeth and claws and bloody veins pouring out because that’s ultimately what Dracula is and brings to the world.

On the flip-side of the rotten old monster, we have the charming seductor Dracula, and while I’m really not a fan of how various adaptations have convinced people that “the point” of Dracula is that he’s a seductive force and an allegory for Victorian xenophobia and I’m reeeally even less of a fan of adaptations that make Dracula some misunderstood tragic hero (and I think I’ve made rather violently clear my feelings on interpretations that play up a romance between him and Mina), that the seductive force part exists is impossible to deny, so conversely, while on one hand we can have Dracula as the gargantuan whirlwind of predatory violence, we can also go for Dracula as the tantalizing lover.

I’ve seen a lot of opinions proclaiming Frank Langella as the best Dracula because he was the best at actually being seductive while still playing Dracula, although I haven’t yet seen his performances. If I had to point at one picture I look at and do buy for a second the idea of Dracula as a romantic character, it would be that particular still of Raul Julia in the left of the above image. And it’s strange for me to think of Raul Julia as attractive because I mainly associate him with his brilliant comedy performance of M.Bison (I know it’s far from the highlight of his career but, look, I grew up with Street Fighter, I can’t help it) but those eyes are definitely looking pretty convincing to me, if nothing else. 

And I’ve included this still of Sebastian Stan in the right because, during a conversation between me, @krinsbez and @jcogginsa about who could be a good fit for Dracula, jcog suggested Sebastian Stan, partially because he’s Romanian, and I’ve learned recently that Stan was actually interested in playing the character in Blumhouse’s upcoming remake. And you’d think I’d hate this idea  considering how much I don’t care for tragic anti-hero Draculas, but who says that’s what he’d have to play? 

Do you have any idea how much actors, who are traditionally known for heroic or supporting roles, usually LOVE it when you give them a chance to cut loose as the main villain?

I’d want Sebastian Stan to put all of his charm, all of his talent, all of his good looks and etc, into playing the absolute most vicious, bloodthirsty and irredeemable Dracula put on screen. Someone who is exceedingly, eerily good at being a lovable protagonist, who’s all smiles and charming eyes and politeness mannerisms and maybe even a funny accent, and then it isn't as funny when he's flying through your window intent on kidnapping babies to feed to his brides, except he may take a moment or two to do so because he's feeling pretty hungry himself right now.

Now, admittedly this is kind of a lot to juggle in regards to a single character, which is why my answer for questions like these inevitably has to be “depends on what I’m going for”. That being said, if I was going to try and cast someone who I think could both look the part of Dracula, as well as respectively, play “cartoon aristocrat” Dracula, “mercurial embodiment of evil” Dracula, as well as realistically be an attractive, even seductive performer who can charm viewers even as the character descends into horrible villainy, and juggle these performances even?

I think I’d have to go with Mads Mikkelsen. Not specifically because of Hannibal (I actually haven’t watched it yet), although it’s definitely a factor, the thing that actually made me pick him specifically is, other than his looks, his voice, his reputation for playing sinister characters, the fact that he loves the role and wants to play it, or how many people are deeply in love with this man, or that people already joke that he looks like a vampire, was watching him in Another Round, and specifically that glorious final scene where he’s just dancing to his heart’s content and just, moving with such spring in his step and such joyful vitality even though he’s past his mid-fifties, and that was the moment where, in regards to how much you all love this man, I went

And now I am going to add “casting Mads Mikkelsen as a dancing Dracula” to The List of Reasons Why I Became a Filmmaker.

[samwisethewitch]

Cults? In my life? It’s more likely than you think.

In my last post, I talked about how the Law of Attraction and Christian prosperity gospel both use the same thought control techniques as cults. I’ve received several public and private replies to that post: some expressing contempt for “sheeple” who can be lead astray by cults, and others who say my post made them scared that they might be part of a cult without knowing it.

I want to address both of those types of replies in this post. I want to talk about what a cult really looks like, and how you can know if you’re dealing with one.

If you type the word “cult” into Google Images, it will bring up lots of photos of people with long hair, wearing all white, with their hands raised in an expression of ecstasy.

Most modern cults do not look anything like this.

Modern cultists look a lot like everyone else. One of the primary goals of most cults is recruitment, and it’s hard to get people to join your cause if they think you and your group are all Kool-Aid-drinking weirdos. The cults that last are the ones that manage to convince people that they’re just like everyone else — a little weird maybe, but certainly not dangerous.

In the book The Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and Peoples Temple, author Jeff Guinn says, “In years to come, Jim Jones would frequently be compared to murderous demagogues such as Adolf Hitler and Charles Manson. These comparisons completely misinterpret, and historically misrepresent, the initial appeal of Jim Jones to members of Peoples Temple. Jones attracted followers by appealing to their better instincts.”

You might not know Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple by name, but you’ve probably heard their story. They’re the Kool-Aid drinkers I mentioned earlier. Jones and over 900 of his followers, including children, committed mass suicide by drinking Flavor Aid mixed with cyanide.

In a way, the cartoonish image of cults in popular media has helped real-life cults to stay under the radar and slip through people’s defenses.

In her book Recovering Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control, Luna Lindsey says: “These groups use a legion of persuasive techniques in unison, techniques that strip away the personality to build up a new group pseudopersonality. New members know very little about the group’s purpose, and most expectations remain unrevealed. People become deeply involved, sacrificing vast amounts of time and money, and investing emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and socially.”

Let’s address some more common myths about cults:

Myth #1: All cults are Satanic or occult in nature. This mostly comes from conservative Christians, who may believe that all non-Christian religions are inherently cultish in nature and are in league with the Devil. This is not the case — most non-Christians don’t even believe in the Devil, much less want to sign away their souls to him. Many cults use Christian theology to recruit members, and some of these groups (Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, etc.) have become popular enough to be recognized as legitimate religions. Most cults have nothing to do with magic or the occult.

Myth #2: All cults are religious. This is also false. While some cults do use religion to recruit members or push an agenda, many cults have no religious or spiritual element. Political cults are those founded around a specific political ideology. Author and cult researcher Janja Lalich is a former member of an American political cult founded on the principles of Marxism. There are also “cults of personality” built around political figures and celebrities, such as Adolf Hitler, Chairman Mao, and Donald Trump. In these cases, the cult is built around hero worship of the leader — it doesn’t really matter what the leader believes or does.

Myth #3: All cults are small fringe groups. Cults can be any size. Some cults have only a handful of members — it’s even possible for parents to use thought control techniques on their children, essentially creating a cult that consists of a single family.  There are some cults that have millions of members (see previous note about Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses).

Myth #4: All cults live on isolated compounds away from mainstream society. While it is true that all cults isolate their members from the outside world, very few modern cults use physical isolation. Many cults employ social isolation, which makes members feel separate from mainstream society. Some cults do this by encouraging their followers to be “In the world but not of the world,” or encouraging them to keep themselves “pure.”

Myth #5: Only stupid, gullible, and/or mentally ill people join cults. Actually, according to Luna Lindsey, the average cult member is of above-average intelligence. As cult expert Steven Hassan points out, “Cults intentionally recruit ‘valuable’ people—they go after those who are intelligent, caring, and motivated. Most cults do not want to be burdened by unintelligent people with serious emotional or physical problems.” The idea that only stupid or gullible people fall for thought control is very dangerous, because it reinforces the idea that “it could never happen to me.” This actually prevents intelligent people from thinking critically about the information they’re consuming and the groups they’re associating with, which makes them easier targets for cult recruitment.

So, now that we have a better idea of what a cult actually looks like, how do you know if you or someone you know is in one?

A good rule of thumb is to compare the group’s actions and teachings to Steven Hassan’s BITE Model. Steven Hassan is an expert on cult psychology, and most cult researchers stand by this model. From Hassan’s website, freedomofmind.com: “Based on research and theory by Robert Jay Lifton, Margaret Singer, Edgar Schein, Louis Jolyon West, and others who studied brainwashing in Maoist China as well as cognitive dissonance theory by Leon Festinger, Steven Hassan developed the BITE Model to describe the specific methods that cults use to recruit and maintain control over people. ‘BITE’ stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotional control.”

Behavior Control may include…

Telling you how to behave, and enforcing behavior with rewards and punishments. (Rewards may be nonphysical concepts like “salvation” or “enlightenment,” or social rewards like group acceptance or an elevated status within the group. Punishments may also be nonphysical, like “damnation,” or may be social punishments like judgement from peers or removal from the group.)

Dictating where and with whom you live. (This includes pressure to move closer to other group members, even if you will be living separately.)

Controlling or restricting your sexuality. (Includes enforcing chastity or abstinence and/or coercion into non-consensual sex acts.)

Controlling your clothing or hairstyle. (Even if no one explicitly tells you, you may feel subtle pressure to look like the rest of the group.)

Restricting leisure time and activities. (This includes both demanding participation in frequent group activities and telling you how you should spend your free time.)

Requiring you to seek permission for major decisions. (Again, even if you don’t “need” permission, you may feel pressure to make decisions that will be accepted by the group.)

And more.

Information Control may include…

Withholding or distorting information. (This may manifest as levels of initiation, with only the “inner circle” or upper initiates being taught certain information.)

Forbidding members from speaking with ex-members or other critics.

Discouraging members from trusting any source of information that isn’t approved by the group’s leadership.

Forbidding members from sharing certain details of the group’s beliefs or practice with outsiders.

Using propaganda. (This includes “feel good” media that exists only to enforce the group’s message.)

Using information gained in confession or private conversation against you.

Gaslighting to make members doubt their own memory. (“I never said that,” “You’re remembering that wrong,” “You’re confused,” etc.)

Requiring you to report your thoughts, feelings, and activities to group leaders or superiors.

Encouraging you to spy on other group members and report their “misconduct.”

And more.

Thought Control may include…

Black and White, Us vs. Them, or Good vs. Evil thinking.

Requiring you to change part of your identity or take on a new name. (This includes only using last names, as well as titles like “Brother,” “Sister,” and “Elder.”)

Using loaded languages and cliches to stop complex thought. (This is the difference between calling someone a “former member” and calling the same person an “apostate” or “covenant breaker.”)

Inducing hypnotic or trance states including prayer, meditation, singing hymns, etc.

Using thought-stopping techniques to prevent critical thinking. (“If you ever find yourself doubting, say a prayer to distract yourself!”)

Allowing only positive thoughts or speech.

Rejecting rational analysis and criticism both from members and from those outside the group.

And more.

Emotional Control may include…

Inducing irrational fears and phobias, especially in connection with leaving the group. (This includes fear of damnation, fear of losing personal value, fear of persecution, etc.)

Labeling some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, low-vibrational, or wrong.

Teaching techniques to keep yourself from feeling certain emotions like anger or sadness.

Promoting feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness. (This is often done by holding group members to impossible standards, such as being spiritually “pure” or being 100% happy all the time.)

Showering members and new recruits with positive attention — this is called “love bombing.” (This can be anything from expensive gifts to sexual favors to simply being really nice to newcomers.)

Shunning members who disobey orders or disbelieve the group’s teachings.

Teaching members that there is no happiness, peace, comfort, etc. outside of the group.

And more.

If a group ticks most or all of the boxes in any one of these categories, you need to do some serious thinking about whether or not that group is good for your mental health. If a group is doing all four of these, you’re definitely dealing with a cult and need to get out as soon as possible.

These techniques can also be used by individual people in one-on-one relationships. A relationship or friendship where someone tries to control your behavior, thoughts, or emotions is not healthy and, again, you need to get out as soon as possible.

Obviously, not all of these things are inherently bad. Meditation and prayer can be helpful on their own, and being nice to new people is common courtesy. The problem is when these acts become part of a bigger pattern, which enforces someone else’s control over your life.

A group that tries to tell you how to think or who to be is bad for your mental health, your personal relationships, and your sense of self. When in doubt, do what you think is best for you — and always be suspicious of people or groups who refuse to be criticized.

[mxlti-fand0m-imaginess]

Picture Perfect // Kurt Wagner

request: none

prompts: none

warnings: language, self image issues, not proofread, FLUFF

a/n: soulmate au where a picture of your soulmate appears on your wrist when you’re 13.

“It’s almost midnight!” you cheered excitedly as you made eye contact with your best friend, Liz.

“What do you think they’re gonna look like? This is so exciting! I can’t believe I have to wait six more months to see my soulmate,” Liz said, rambling on as per usual.

You kept your eyes locked to the numbers on your clock, waiting for it to saw 12:00. Seconds passed, and the numbers changed. Finally, it was your 13th birthday! The day a picture of your soulmate appears on your arm. You felt your wrist start to tingle, and you quickly pulled down your sleeve to see a picture of your soulmate form on your arm.

You smiled as you took in his image. His blue skin, his yellow eyes, his adorable elf ears. You couldn’t help but fall for him immediately.

“He’s..”

“Beautiful.” “Hideous.”

“What?!” you said as you turned to Liz in shock.

“You poor thing, stuck with that as your soulmate. He’s a mutant. And an ugly one at that. Who knows, maybe you’ll be lucky and he’ll die before you meet.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? First of all, he’s beautiful. Second of all, what’s wrong with being a mutant?! And why would you want him to die?! Do you even realize how awful what you said is?”

“Why are you defending him? He’s a mutant!”

“Get out!” you shouted, avoiding eye contact with her.

“What?” she asked you, shock overtaking her voice.

“You heard me. Get out! You can’t talk about my soulmate like that!”

Liz’s face fell devoid of all emotion. She quickly gathered her things and walked to your door. She turned around to see if you would stop her, but you wouldn’t even look her way. With a sigh, Liz left. The two of you never spoke again.

~

Kurt looked down at the image on his wrist. He smiled at the girl. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. And she was his soulmate! A smile overtook his face, but quickly faded away when he came back to reality.

There’s no way she would love him. A mutant. No one would love him. Certainly not someone as beautiful as you. He sighed pulled his sleeve over your picture. Maybe if he just ignored it, and didn’t acknowledge you, he wouldn’t have to face the inevitable heartbreak.

five years later

You sat on your couch, watching the news, when a story about the X-Men started to play. They just defeated an evil mutant in Egypt. You would give anything to meet them, they were incredible.

But then you saw something. More specifically someone. Your soulmate. He was one of the X-Men. Your smile went wide as you watched him on your screen. You looked closer, trying to find out where he was. Charles Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters.

You smile grew even bigger, if that was possible. That school was only a twenty minute drive from your house. Your soulmate was only twenty minutes away. You could finally meet the boy you’ve been in love with since you were 13.

You ran to your bedroom, quickly showering and getting ready. You wanted to look your best if you were going to meet your soulmate. You pulled on some dark skinny jeans, a Star Wars tee, and your gray vans. You put on some makeup, and brushed through your hair.

You stood in front of your mirror and smiled at your reflection. You looked beautiful. Now, you just had to get there.

~

You payed the taxi driver, and quickly got out. You looked at the building in front of you. You were here! Today you were finally going to meet your soulmate.

Nerves riddled your insides as you got closer to the door. Questions filled your mind. What if he didn’t like you? What if he already has a girlfriend? What if-?

Your thoughts were cut off by a girl walking towards you.

“Hey I haven’t seen you around. Are you new?”

“Uhm kinda. I-”

“I’m Jubilee,” she said.

“Y/n.”

“So what brings you here?”

“Oh my god,” a different voice said.

You turned and saw a guy walking over. He looked shocked as he stared at you. You gave him a confused look, and shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

He walked over to Jubilee and whispered something in her ear. Her eyes went wide and she grabbed your arm, turning it to see your soulmate mark.

“Oh my god! So that’s why you’re here!”

“Yeah,” you smiled awkwardly.

“Come on! We have to find him!” Jubilee said as she grabbed your arm and pulled you towards the school.

She opened the door and led you inside. You looked around, amazed at all the mutants. So many were using their abilities, and it was amazing.

“Oh, Jean! Have you seen Kurt?”

“No, why?” she said, her eyes widening when she saw you.

“You’re his soulmate. Hang on let me find him.”

She put her fingers to the side of her head and closed her eyes. A few seconds later she stopped and turned to Jubilee.

“He’s in the library. It was nice meeting you,” she said as she smiled at you.

“You too,” you said as Jubilee pulled you once more.

She led you to a room, presumably the library. She opened the doors and pulled you in.

“Kurt are you in here?”

A cloud of blue smoke appeared before you, and there he was. Your soulmate. Standing right in front of you. But as soon as he noticed you, another blue cloud appeared and he was gone. Your face fell. He probably didn’t want you. Just like you thought.

“Don’t worry y/n, we’ll find him. I think maybe finding his soulmate just startled him.”

You nodded slowly, hoping that maybe she was right.

~

Kurt was in his room, panicking. His soulmate was here. The girl he had tried to forget. The one who would never love him. What was she doing here? Was she going to yell at him for taking away the chance to be happy with her soulmate?

Then Jean’s voice was in his mind.

Kurt she’s not going to yell at you. She doesn’t hate you. She wants to meet you. Just come back to the library and see for yourself.

He thought it over for a second. It’s not like he had anything to loose. And who knows, maybe somehow Jean was right. Maybe someone actually could love him.

~

-bamf-

He was back. Your soulmate was right in front of you. You smiled at him, and he shyly smiled back.

“We’re gonna give you some space,” Jean said as she dragged Jubilee out of the room.

“Hi I’m y/n,” you said as you smiled at him.

You found it hard to speak, even harder to think. He was beautiful. Butterflies erupted within your stomach as his eyes met your own. Part of you still couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“I’m Kurt. It’s nice to meet you. Sorry about before, I vas nervous.”

“It’s ok, I’m a little nervous too. I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I first saw you.”

“You vanted to meet me? Vhy? Most people are scared of me. They think I am ugly,” he said as his eyes met the floor.

You walked closer and placed your hand on his cheek, causing him to look at you with wide eyes.

“Well I think you’re beautiful,” you said with a gentle smile.

Suddenly Kurt’s arms were wrapped around as he hugged you. You smiled to yourself as you hugged him back. When he let go, you saw his cheeks were a light purple. You giggled slightly, and nervously twiddled with your fingers.

“Sorry about that. I couldn’t help it. It’s just that you vere being so nice to me and-,” you cut off his rambling.

“It’s okay. I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”

A smile made it’s way onto his face as he looked at you.

In a quick moment of not thinking, you pressed a kiss to his cheek. And then there was a blue cloud in front of you, and he was gone.

~

Kurt didn’t know what to do, so he just left. He was outside the library, his eyes wide and his face covered in a purple blush.

“What happened? Why are you out here?” Jubilee asked.

“I think I can answer that,” Scott said as he pointed to the lipstick print on Kurt’s cheek.

Jubilee squealed and smiled. She then turned around and opened the library door and motioned for you to come over to them.

“Sorry. I vas nervous again,” Kurt said awkwardly.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to keep apologizing,” you said with a slight giggle.

A silver flash appeared and suddenly there was a new person standing in front of you.

“Who’s this?” he said as he looked at you.

Then he started looking between you and Kurt, a smirk growing on his face.

“Did smurf finally get a girlfriend?” Peter said as he smiled at the two of you.

Jean shoved him lightly, and Kurt looked confused at the nickname.

You quickly grabbed Kurt’s hand and you smiled at the new guy.

“Yes, yes he did.”

[causeiwanttoandican]

Harry, Meghan and me: my truth as a royal reporter

I've covered elections and extremism, but nothing compares to the vitriol I've received since I started writing about the Sussexes

By Camilla Tominey, Associate Editor27 March 2021 • 6:00am

It is probably worth mentioning from the outset that I never, ever, planned to become a royal reporter. I mean, who does? It’s one of those ridiculous jobs most people fall into completely by accident.

I certainly wasn’t coveting the position when I first found out how bonkers the beat could be after covering Charles and Camilla’s wedding in 2005. Desperate for ‘a line’ on what went on at the reception, journalists were reduced to flagging down passing cars in Windsor High Street and interrogating the likes of Stephen Fry about whether they’d had the salmon or the chicken.

Watergate, this wasn’t.

Yet when my former editor called me into his office shortly afterwards and offered me the royal job ‘because you’re called Camilla and you dress nicely’, who was I to refuse?

Having planned to get married myself that summer, and start a family soon afterwards, I looked to the likes of Jennie Bond and Penny Junor and figured it would be a good patch for a working mother as well as being one I could grow old with. Unlike show business, when celebrities are ‘in’ one minute and ‘out’ the next, the royals would stay the same, making it easier to build – and keep – contacts.

So if you’d told me that 16 years later, I would find myself at the centre of a media storm over a royal interview with Oprah Winfrey, I’d have probably laughed in your face. First of all, only royals like Fergie do interviews with Oprah. And since when did journalists become the story?

Yet as I have experienced since the arrival of Meghan Markle on the royal scene in 2016 – a move that roughly coincided with Twitter doubling its 140-character limitation to 280 – royal reporters like me now find themselves in the line of fire like never before.

We are used to the likes of Kate Adie coming under attack in the Middle East, but now it is the correspondents who write up events like Trooping the Colour and the Royal Windsor Horse Show having to take cover from the keyboard warriors supposedly defending the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s ‘truth’.

Accusations of racism have long been levelled against anyone who has dared to write less than undiluted praise of Harry and Meghan. But even I have been taken aback by the vitriol on social media in the wake of the couple’s televised two-hour talk-a-thon, in which they branded both the Royal family and the British press racist while complaining about their ‘almost unsurvivable’ multimillionaire lives at the hands of the evil monarchy. And all while the rest of the UK were losing their loved ones and livelihoods in a global pandemic.

Having covered Brexit, general elections and stories about Islamic extremism, I’ve grown used to being sprayed with viral vomit on a fairly regular basis, but when you’ve got complete strangers trolling your best friend’s Instagram feed by association? That’s Britney Spears levels of toxic.

Having a hind thicker than a rhino’s, it wasn’t the repeated references to my being ‘a total c—’ that particularly bothered me, nor even the suggestion that I should have my three children put up for adoption. At one point someone even said it would be a good idea for me to drink myself to death like my mother, about whose chronic alcoholism I have written extensively.

No, what really got me was the appalling spelling and grammar. I mean, if you’re going to hurl insults, at least have the decency to get my name right.

Yet in order to understand just how it has come to pass that so-called #SussexSquaders think nothing of branding all royal correspondents ‘white supremacists’ regardless of who they write for, or sending hate mail to our email addresses, offices – and in some cases, even our homes – it’s worth briefly going to back to when I first broke the story that Prince Harry was dating an American actor in the Sunday Express on 31 October 2016. Headlined: ‘Royal world exclusive: Harry’s secret romance with TV star’, the splash revealed how the popular prince was ‘secretly dating a stunning US actress, model and human rights campaigner’.

Despite my now apparently being on a par with the Ku Klux Klan for failing to acknowledge Meghan as the next messiah, it was actually not until the fifteenth paragraph of that original article that the ‘confident and intelligent’ Northwestern University graduate was described as ‘the daughter of an African-American mother and a father of Dutch and Irish descent’.

Call me superficial, but I was genuinely far more interested in the fact that Harry ‘I-come-with-baggage’ Wales was dating a former ‘briefcase girl’ from the US version of Deal or No Deal than the colour of her skin. A ginger prince punching well above his weight? This was the stuff of tabloid dreams. Little did I know then that covering the trials and tribulations of these two lovebirds would turn into such a nightmare.

The online hostility began bubbling up about eight days after that first story, when Harry’s then communications secretary Jason Knauf issued an ‘unprecedented’ statement accusing the media of ‘crossing a line’.

‘His girlfriend, Meghan Markle, has been subject to a wave of abuse and harassment’, it read, referencing a ‘smear on the front page of a national newspaper; the racial undertones of comment pieces; and the outright sexism and racism of social media trolls and web article comments’. Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland, had apparently been besieged by photographers, while bribes had been offered to Meghan’s ex-boyfriend along with ‘the bombardment of nearly every friend, coworker, and loved one in her life’.

Suffice to say, I did feel a bit guilty. Although I hadn’t written anything remotely racist or sexist, I had started the ball rolling for headlines like the MailOnline’s ‘(Almost) straight outta Compton’ (referencing a song by hip-hop group NWA about gang violence and Meghan’s upbringing in the nearby LA district of Crenshaw), along with her ‘exotic’ DNA (which I subsequently called out, including on This Morning in the wake of ‘Megxit’ in January last year).

Omid Scobie, co-author of Finding Freedom, a highly favourable account of the Sussexes’ departure from the Royal family, written with their cooperation last summer, would later insist that the couple knew the story of their relationship was coming out and were well prepared for it.

I can tell you categorically that they weren’t, since I did not even put a call into Kensington Palace before we went to press for fear of it being leaked. (I did later discuss this with Harry, when I covered his trip to the Caribbean in November 2016, and to be fair he was pretty philosophical, agreeing it would have come out sooner or later. But that was before the former Army Captain decided to well and truly shoot the messenger, latterly telling journalists covering the newly-weds’ tax-payer-funded October 2018 tour of Australia and the south Pacific: ‘Thanks for coming, even though you weren’t invited.’)

The royal press pack is the group of dedicated writers who cover all the official engagements and tours on a rota system, in exchange for not bothering the royals as they go about their private business. It was a shame this ragtag bunch, of which I am an associate member, was never personally introduced to Meghan when the couple got engaged in November 2017.

I still have fond memories of a then Kate Middleton, upon her engagement to Prince William in November 2010, showing me her huge sapphire and diamond ring following a press conference at St James’s Palace with the words, ‘It was William’s mother’s so it is very special.’

I replied that she might want to consider buying ‘one of those expanding accordion style file holders’ to organise all her wedding paperwork. (Reader, I had given birth to my second child less than four months earlier and was still lactating.)

Not meeting Meghan did not stop royal commentators like me writing reams about her being ‘a breath of fresh air’ and telling practically every TV show I appeared on that she was the ‘best thing to have happened to the Royal Family in years’.

As the world followed the joyous news of the Windsors’ resident strip billiards star having finally found ‘the one’, the couple enjoyed overwhelmingly positive press culminating in their fairy-tale wedding in May 2018, which we headlined ‘So in love’ above a picture of the bride and groom kissing. I tweeted the wedding front page, along with the original story breaking the news of their relationship with the words, ‘Job done’. Yet, as Meghan would later point out in a glossy Santa Barbara garden, that was by far the end of the story.

According to the Duchess’s testimony before a global audience of millions, the seeds for their royal departure were actually sown by an article I wrote in November 2018 suggesting she made Kate cry during a bridesmaid’s dress fitting for Princess Charlotte.

Claiming the ‘reverse happened’, the former Suits star railed, ‘A few days before the wedding she was upset about something, pertaining to, yes, the issue was correct, about flower-girl dresses, and it made me cry, and it really hurt my feelings.’

She then went on to criticise the palace for failing to correct the story – suggesting that royal aides had hung her out to dry to protect the Duchess of Cambridge.

All of which left me in a bit of a sticky situation. As I told Phillip Schofield on This Morning the following day, ‘I don’t write things I don’t believe to be true and that haven’t been really well sourced.’

Having seemingly been completely bowled over by Meghan’s version of events, Schofe then went for the jugular: ‘I have to say, though, that’s all addressed in that interview, isn’t it, because she [Meghan] couldn’t understand why nobody stood up for her?’

Yet someone had stood up for her, on that very same This Morning sofa: me.

As I told Phil and Holly on 14 January 2019, as more reports of ‘Duchess Difficult’ started to emerge, ‘I think she [Meghan] is doing really well, she looks amazing, she speaks well. She has played a blinder.’

So you’ll forgive me if I can’t quite understand why Meghan didn’t feel the need to correct this supposedly glaring error once she had her own dedicated head of communications from March 2019 – or indeed when she ‘collaborated’ with Scobie, who concluded in his bestselling hagiography that ‘no one cried’?

Moreover, how did the Duchess know a postnatal Kate wasn’t ‘left in tears’? And if she doesn’t know, what hope has the average troll observing events through the prism of their own deep-rooted insecurities?

It appears the actual truth ceases to matter once sides have been taken in the unedifying Team Meghan versus Team Kate battle that has divided the internet.

Make no mistake, there are abject morons at both extremes spewing the sort of bile that, ironically, makes most of the media coverage of Harry and Meghan look like a 1970s edition of Jackie magazine.

It perhaps didn’t help my case that the day before the interview was aired in the US, I had written a lengthy piece carefully weighing up the evidence behind allegations of ‘outrageous bullying’ that had been levelled against Meghan during what proved to be a miserable 20 months in the Royal family for all concerned.

The messages – to my Twitter feed, my email, my website and official Facebook page – ranged from the threatening, to the typical tropes about media ‘scum’ and the downright bizarre. Some accused me of being in cahoots with Carole Middleton, with whom I have never interacted, unless you count a last-minute Party Pieces purchase in a desperate moment of poor parental planning.

Another frequent barb was questioning why the press wasn’t writing about that ‘pedo’ [sic] Prince Andrew instead – seemingly oblivious to the fact that no one would know about the Duke of York’s links to Jeffrey Epstein if it wasn’t for the acres of coverage devoted to the story by us royal hacks over recent years.

It didn’t matter that I had repeatedly torn the Queen’s second, and, some say, favourite son to pieces for everything from his propensity to take his golf clubs on foreign tours to that disastrous Newsnight interview.

Contrary to the ‘invisible contract’ Harry claims the palace has with the press, royal coverage works roughly like this: good royal deeds = good publicity. Bad royal deeds = bad publicity. We effectively act as a critical friend, working on behalf of a public that rightly expects the royals to take the work – but not themselves – seriously.

So when a royal couple preaches about climate change before taking four private jets in 11 days, it is par for the course for a royal scribe to point out the inconsistency of that message. None of it is ever personal, as evidenced by the fact that practically every member of the monarchy has come in for flak over the years.

If Oprah wasn’t willing to point out the discrepancies in Harry and Meghan’s testimony, surely it is beholden on royal reporters to question how the Duchess had managed to undertake four foreign holidays in the six months after her wedding, in addition to official tours to Italy, Canada, and Amsterdam, as well as embarking on a lengthy honeymoon, if she had ‘turned over’ her passport?

While no one would wish to undermine the extent of her mental health problems, could it really be true that she only left the house twice in four months when she managed to cram in 73 days’ worth of engagements, according to the Court Circular, in the 17 months between her wedding and the couple’s departure to Canada?

And what of the ‘racist’ headlines flashed up during the interview purporting to be from the British press, when more than a third were actually taken from independent blogs and the foreign media? The UK media abides by the Independent Press Standards Organisation’s Code of Conduct ‘to avoid prejudicial or pejorative reference to an individual’s race’, as well as by rigorous defamation laws. And rightly so – the British press doesn’t always get it right. But social media is the Wild West by comparison, publishing vile slurs on a daily basis with impunity.

Some therefore find it strange that such a litigious couple would claim to have been ‘silenced’ when they have made so many complaints, including resorting to legal action, over stories they claim not to have even read. There is something similarly contradictory about a couple accusing the tabloids of lacking self-reflection while refusing to take any blame at all – for anything.

In any normal world, informed writing on such matters would be classed as fair comment, but not, seemingly, on Twitter where those completely lacking any objectivity whatsoever are only too willing to virtue signal and manoeuvre.

As the trolling reached fever pitch in the aftermath of the interview, veteran royal reporter Robert Jobson of the Evening Standard called me. ‘Don’t respond to these freaks,’ he advised. ‘It’s getting nasty out there. Watch your back!’

Yet despite my general sense of bewilderment at the menacing Megbots, I can’t say it didn’t appal me to discover a close friend had received online abuse, purely by dint of being my mate. After discussing the lengths the troll must have gone to to track her down, she asked me, ‘Do you ever worry someone might do something awful to you?’ Er, not until now, no.

Of course it’s upsetting, even for a cynical old-timer like me. Worse still are people who actually know me casting aspersions on my profession on social media. Often these are the same charlatans who would think nothing of sidling up to me for the latest gossip on the Royal family, while publicly pretending that reading any such coverage is completely beneath them.

Most pernicious of all though – not least after Piers Morgan’s departure from Good Morning Britain following a complaint to ITV and Ofcom from the Duchess – is the corrosive effect this whole hullabaloo is having on freedom of speech. When you’ve got a former actor effectively editing a British breakfast show from an £11 million Montecito mansion, what next?

I cannot help but think we are in danger of setting race relations back 30 years if people are seriously suggesting that any criticism of Meghan is racially motivated. It’s the hypocrisy that gets me. When Priti Patel was accused of bullying, the very same people who willingly hung the Home Secretary out to dry are now the ones defending Meghan against such claims, saying they have been levelled at her simply because she is ‘a strong woman of colour’.

Of course journalists should take responsibility for everything they report and be held to account for it – but Harry and Meghan do not have a monopoly on the truth simply because the close friend and neighbour who interviewed them in return for £7 million from CBS took what they said as gospel.

If she isn’t willing to probe the disparity between Meghan saying someone questioned the colour of Archie’s skin when she was pregnant, and Harry suggesting it happened before they were even married, then someone must. There’s a name for such scrutiny. It’s called journalism.

The public reserves the right to make up its own mind – with the help of the watchful eye of a free and fair press. But that press can never be free or fair if journalists do not feel they can report without fear or favour. I’m lucky that a lot of the criticism I face is more than balanced out by hugely supportive members of the public and online community who either agree – or respect the right to disagree. Along with the hate mail, I have had many thoughtful and eloquent missives, including those that good naturedly challenge what I have written in the paper or said on TV, which have genuinely given me pause for thought.

I am more than happy to enter into constructive discourse with these correspondents, who are frankly sometimes the only people who keep me on Twitter. I mean, let’s face it, I wouldn’t be anywhere near the bloody thing if this wasn’t my day job.

With the National Union of Journalists this month declaring that harassment and abuse had ‘become normalised’ within the industry, never have members of Britain’s press needed more courage. As Winston Churchill famously said, ‘You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.’

Who would have thought that the preservation of the fundamental freedoms that we hold so dear should partially rest on the shoulders of those who follow around a 94-year-old woman and her family for a living?

If I’d known then what I know now, would I still have written the bridesmaid’s dress story?

Yes – doubtlessly reflecting sisterly sobs all round. But after two decades in this business, I am clear-eyed enough to know this for certain: whatever I had written, it would still have ended in tears.

[august-persona]

More Witch Week Epiphanies (I'm losing track at this point)

Some time ago, I wanted to write a little essay (I feel weird calling it an "essay," makes this sound scholarly and not at all like the ramblings of a hyper fixated 15-year-old, but that's what it is) on the queer-coding in Witch Week. I got very busy and sort of forgot about it. Recently, I've been thinking about it more, and realizing just how much mental health plays into the themes of Witch Week as well as homophobia.

In the world of Witch Week, you cannot tell a witch just by looking at them. Witchcraft is not tied to any ethnicity, sex, religion, etc. Anyone could be a witch and you'd have no idea unless they told you. Of course, some people seem to be more obviously a witch than others. Everyone assumes Nan is a witch (and they are right), but even then they really have no way to be sure. There's also the way that witch history is banned, stifled, twisted to fit a certain narrative. The book asserts that this is all very wrong. Witches cannot help being born witches. It's simply not healthy for a society with so many witches - a society where witchcraft is intrinsic to so many people's lives - to persecute that witchcraft so harshly.

Now replace the words "witch" and "witchcraft" in that paragraph with "gay, queer, lgbtq+."

The themes of Witch Week are very relatable to the lgbtq+ community. You cannot tell that someone is gay or otherwise just by looking at them. There are people who are assumed to be queer based on how they act or look (and you might be right), but there's no way to be sure. Anyone of any ethnicity, sex, religion, etc., could be lgbtq+.

Lgbtq+ history, similarly to the history of witches in this story, has also been frequently banned, stifled, twisted to fit a certain narrative by society at large.

Homophobia is harmful. It hurts everyone living within a society where these bigoted mindsets are the norm, even straight and cisgender people.

Now, onto the topic of mental illness. It was no new revelation to me that many - if not all the kids - at Larwood House have, or at the very least exhibit some symptoms of, various mental disorders. The book even says at the beginning that Larwood House is a school for witch orphans and children with "other problems." Nan is schooled at Larwood House because she is a witch orphan; Charles is schooled at Larwood House because his parents sent him there, presumably due to his "other problems." The book was a bit vague on this. It mentions Charles becoming standoffish after his encounter with the second witch, and his parents being concerned that he was a bad influence on his siblings, but there are certainly more elements at play.

Along with being queer-coded (more on that some other time) there are many instances in the book where Charles is obviously in a dissociated state. Charles often references this 'other part' of himself, which splits away from him when he is distressed. Sometimes Charles floats away while the other part of himself does the talking and walking and such; in other instances Charles is present but aware that a split has occured.

Charles clearly has a personality disorder, one which is probably the result of his traumatic childhood experiences and further exacerbated by Larwood House's awful environment. He has no good friends, and his emotional needs often go unchecked by teachers and peers alike. Charles often wonders how no one ever seems to notice when he 'splits.'

You cannot tell that someone is mentally ill, or neurodivergent (some mental disorders aren't so harmful to one's life that they are ill) just by looking at them. Anyone of any ethnicity, sex, religion, etc., could have a mental disorder. Of course, some people seem more likely to have a mental disorder than others based on the symptoms they exhibit, but even then you may not know for sure what exactly is going on.

The only time anyone realizes something is up with Charles, is when he self-harms in view of the boys in his dorm. Even then they only conclude that Charles must be pretty stupid to do such a thing to himself, and think not much more than that.

Then there's the ways in which mental disorders have been demonized (and more recently romanticized, but that's a whole other beast) and twisted to fit narratives in mainstream culture which are often harmful to people with those disorders - should the concept of mental disorders and neuro divergence even be addressed in the first place - in order to cater to a neurotypical audience and a society which would often like to promote the idea that people with trauma and mental turmoil should simply choose to be unaffected by these sufferings, and should the "mentally ill" ever display symptoms or behavior deemed to be inconvenient due to their disorders, it is a moral failing on their part and not a failing of their caregivers and authority to provide them with help.

Or, that the mentally ill simply need to be locked up because they are no use to society; or even done away with entirely because how could they be any more than inconvenient, and quite possibly dangerous.

In cases of people whose disorders are not harmful to themselves or others, there is often an idea that their unusual behavior must be 'fixed' (got rid of entirely) to prevent inconvenience.

These are attitudes often applied to lgbtq+ folks as well. That queerness is a moral failing, or that queer people need to be locked up, or that their queerness must be 'cured.' If not considered a sin, homosexuality was considered a mental illness for a very long time. 'Homosexuals' were thought to be dangerous, and best kept locked away or done away with. Then there's the "trans women are actually just predatory men" storyline that's been unfortunately popular lately.

Parents are still kicking lgbtq+ kids out onto the street, telling their own children they're going to hell. Lgbtq+ kids are still being sent to conversion camps in some places. Lgbtq+ people are still bullied, killed, arrested, executed, around the world.

Mental disorders and neuro divergence is a present aspect of many queer people's lives. And no, not because homosexuality = derangement - but because some people with mental disorders just so happen to also be queer; or due to the fact that queer people tend to be more susceptible to trauma, end up developing mental disorders more frequently.

What's interesting about Witch Week is that Charles' disorder is not linked to him inherently being a witch, but to how his witch-phobic society traumatized him and led him to develop his disorder.

That's pretty neat. Consider the sheer quantity of media which depicts queer and queer-coded characters as being deranged. Even when the narrative does not outrightly state "gay = psycho," the connection is still made in the viewer's mind, overtly or subconsciously. And rarely is the distinction made that the Evil Psycho Gay ended up mentally ill not because of the fact they're gay, but because of the way their homophobic culture traumatized them.

Then there's Witch Week, a book featuring a subtle but excellent portrayal of a child living with an unaddressed personality disorder in the character of Charles; a character who also happens to be queer-coded; a character who is not the antagonist, but one of the protagonists; in a book which makes it altogether very clear that it is not the fact that any of these characters are inherently witches (witchcraft = lgbtq+) that they lash out in ways that are harmful to themselves or others, but that these harmful behaviors are perpetuated by the bigoted society they live in.

[thetypedwriter]

Gideon the Ninth Book Review

Gideon the Ninth Book Review by Tamsyn Muir 

It would be only a slight hyperbole to say that a million people have either recommended this book to me or have told me to read it. I’ve heard for years now that this book is incredible and extremely well written and beloved by many. So, if that’s the case why did I wait so long to read it?

I don’t have a good answer. Sometimes a book is on your radar, but either the time isn’t right, other books take priority, or in my case, it’s adult fiction and I held slight trepidation that I wouldn’t love it as much as everyone else in the world seemed to. 

Thank goodness, that didn’t end up being the case and I’ll get into why in a moment. 

First, Gideon the Ninth has the most amazing descriptive sentence belonging on any front cover of any book ever. 

I shall put it here for prosperity and awe: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. 

Now, I don’t know who you are Mr. Stross, but that has to be the best sentence written in the English language since its conception. If that isn’t enough intrigue for you to crack open the novel then I truly don’t know what is or what it would take. 

That being said, Mr. Stross wasn’t entirely accurate, but that’ll be clear soon enough. 

The novel surrounds our main protagonist, Gideon Nav, or, known as Gideon the Ninth, the primary cavalier to the Ninth House necromancer. Essentially, this world takes place in a different solar system with its own sun star known as Dominicus as well as nine planets also known as the Nine Houses. 

Each House has a specific specialty for what is known for, and as summarized helpfully, but also overwhelmingly, at the beginning of the novel, the Ninth House is also known as the keepers of the Locked Tomb, House of the Sewn Tongue, and home to the Black Vestals. 

This meant nothing to me at the beginning and quite truthfully, I still struggled to remember throughout the novel who belonged to the Third House, or the Fifth and what that quite meant, as once again, each House has a reputation and expected skill set that precedes them. 

Not to say that it was poorly written because it wasn’t. Muir just has a lot of characters with specific titles and while she actually does quite a good job of categorizing them and helpfully reminding you who is who, I still struggled with just the sheer amount of information and people. 

Normally, this would be a massive criticism, like it was with the cast of characters in Lore but in this case it’s not Muir’s fault. She’s giving me all the information necessary to understand. It was just my brain that struggled trying to recognize and categorize everyone. If anything, I’m excited to re-read Gideon the Ninth and have it sink in like a second skin eventually. 

Having this large cast of characters, the book revolves around each of the Nine Houses (except for the First House) sending their best necromancer, a wielder of both thanergy (death energy) and thalergy (life energy) in the form of a House Adept, someone who is able to wield this kind of energy either in bone magic, flesh magic, or spirit magic. 

In accompaniment, each Necromancer Adept has a primary Cavalier, a trained fighter that is both protector, companion, and often, necessary energy suppliers to their Adept in both horrendous and acceptable ways. 

The goal of these pairs, having been sent to the First planet, is to become a Lyctor, an immortal servant to the Undying Emperor. The catch is that once the Necromancers and their Cavaliers arrive on the First, the shuttle departs and they are trapped in an abandoned, dilapidated, once-regal and great mansion that boasts hundreds of floors, secret doors, and mystery upon mystery. 

Each pair expects a streamlined process to Lyctorhood once they arrive, a methodical procedure, perhaps some training, and ultimately a test. What they don’t expect is a mellow man by the name of Teacher that claims to know nothing about the process himself, but is the overseer of the First. 

What follows is a mind-boggling search to become a Lyctor and unravel the mysteries of the haunted palace. What the pairs don’t expect is the death of their own, gruesome murders at the hand of someone in their very own positions and an evil danger beyond any of their imagination lurking in the mansion. 

This novel was a great concoction of mystery, action, interpersonal relationships, character growth, dazzling descriptions, and world building. 

The world of Dominicus and the Nine Houses is expansive and rich, something that I haven’t been able to sink my teeth into, and not for lack of trying, but because it is so deep and so layered that I simply need to take several bites to get it all down.

The mystery is fulfilling and strangely, to me at least, reminiscent of a game called Danganronpa. If you know what that is, and even if you don’t, it centers around the idea of a murder mystery, but where the killer is one of your own and the mystery is trying to figure out not ony the who, but the why of what they are doing, amongst a slew of other deadly riddles.

Gideon the Ninth is the same. As people continue to get picked off and brutally murdered, as a reader you find yourself trying to puzzle out not only who, but why someone would commit such atrocities and the motivation behind it. 

The plot itself of Gideon the Ninth was extremely satisfying and alluring. There were times where I personally found that novel bogged down with excessive description, but it was usually broken up with Gideon’s personal brand of crass humor, a very much needed breather with the expansive exposition, that, while extremely well done, well researched, and well written, did get a tad boring from time to time for me personally, even if it allowed for clear imagery as well as adding to already well formed world building. 

In addition to the plot, all of the characters were well done and as fleshed out as they could be considering the amount of characters involved. First, even though this is set in a fantasy sci-fi setting, each of the characters seemed realistic and like they could potentially be real people. 

A large criticism of books I often have, especially in YA, is that the characters often come across like caricatures, and not real flesh and blood humans with both positive and negative qualities. 

Each character, some developed more than others, have both flaws and strengths, even the main characters, which I highly appreciated. Not only does it make the story more real and palatable, but it also is just more interesting to read about as it’s actually based in humanity and the nature of human beings rather than some perfect carbon copy of one. 

Gideon as a narrator was hilarious. She was often crass, blunt, horny, humorous and ignorant. But on the other hand, she was also an extremely talented fighter, actually very sweet deep down, forgiving, and loving. 

This mix in a main character was a welcome one in addition to making Gideon feel like a real person, despite all the bone magic and necromancy, and often her thought process and dialogue made me laugh out loud. 

Another main character, Harrowhark Nonagesimus (What a name!) is Gideon’s Necromancer and main companion. She’s bitter, rude, spiteful, and ruthless. She’s also hardworking, intelligent, and stubborn. 

If you’re catching the pattern here, Muir isn’t just writing archetypes and passing them off as characters. She’s writing complex and nuanced personalities that are intriguing and interesting and well developed. 

I could get into the other plethora of characters like Camila, Dulcinea, Palamedes, Magnus, Judith and so on, but this review would be a thousand pages long so I’ll just settle for saying that every character was well done and lovingly crafted and not one of them, even the annoying ones, were characters that I hated. 

One important thing to note was Muir’s writing itself. It was incredible. Such descriptions! Such characterization! Such detail! Such vocabulary! I was supremely impressed with her writing as a whole and often found myself having to look up words that I had never heard of in my life (always a welcome change of pace). I was blown away by her sheet talent and creativity. 

The last two things I have to note might get me in trouble. 

One, the ending for me was...bittersweet. For fear of spoiling someone, I won’t get into details, but I found it both lacking and simultaneously making absolute sense. I wanted both more and yet, found that everything was just enough. It’s hard to put into words, but if you know, you know. 

I do have a slightly sinking feeling though that the ending twist will somehow be undone in the sequel. I don’t know if this is true (although I will eventually find out), and I can’t decide if I’m going to be happy or dismayed by it. 

Such conflicting feelings are in of itself homage to Muir’s skill as a writer and the complexities of her tale. 

Lastly, the one aspect that might get me into the stickiest of predicaments: Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship. I don’t know if I like it or not. On the one hand, I absolutely love it. It's a hate-to-love slow burn, which really is the only way an OTP makes its way into my heart. I love that they’re so different and yet so compatible, one flesh and one blood and all that other nonsense. 

They see each other as equals, as adversaries, and I adore that dynamic in any pairing. I also love the F/F representation of some badass women and that they’re not traditionally attractive and beautiful. 

One of my favorite lines came from the end of the book where Gideon describes Harrowhark’s face as, “bitter” and “hateful”. I just love when characters aren’t conventionally gorgeous and yet beautiful in the eyes of the beholder and all that jazz. 

Now. Onto the problems. 

Harrowhark’s and Gideon’s relationship is kinda...toxic? It grows into something less so, but it definitely starts off that way. I really hate imbalances of power of any kind and Harrowhark definitely has power over Gideon, power that she creully abuses. I asked myself: if Harrowhark was a man and treated Gideon so abysmally for years, and then Gideon eventually forgave him and loved him despite everything, would I think differently?

And the answer is yes, yes I would. 

Is that fair? Probably not. But I can’t help but think how the dynamics change with the two of them being women, and how in my opinion, I think more is forgiven of Harrowhark because of it, even when it’s not deserved. 

Now, Harrowhark is a complex character and has traumas of her own, but I just can’t help but think of all the things she did to Gideon and the things she took away from her and forced her to do and then think of them together and it’s...not great. 

Overall, my feelings on their relationship are complicated (which is a repeated pattern when it comes to Muir’s writing) and I don’t mind that it’s complicated, it makes it interesting, but I also would be bereft to mention it here. I look forward to seeing how it develops and if my feelings change and grow on the matter as well. 

In total, Gideon the Ninth is a fantastic read. It has everything you want inlaid with characters who not only push the plot along, but incentivize you to read more. It has complicated issues and complicated characters, but that means it’s nuanced and complex and juicy enough to bite into. 

Don’t do what I did and wait years for this novel. If you need a good read, you don’t need to look any further and then let yourself be swept along for the necromantic ride. 

Recommendation: “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” -Charles Stross. I mean. Come on people, what more can you ask for?

Score: 8/10 

[forevercaroline]

French court

I was going to have these characters be a side plot in the fic Forbes but as I was writing I decided to make a whole new story with these characters. Also I was talking with @iamcarito and she mentioned that Lexi would be like Megan Markle and the ideas just started flowing from there. I wrote this yesterday. I had mentioned to @austennerdita2533 and @karinanic that I was going to have a Lexi and prince romance. Also tagging @delenastvd.

Xxx

Henri peppers Lexi neck with kisses as her arms go around his neck and she rides him. The white sheet falling off her pooling on his thighs. He thrusts up one last time and her screams of ecstasy full the big bedroom, he soon follows. She slumps down on his bare chest and leaves a sweet peck on his neck.

“It’s moving day. My prince.”

“Did you ever think you would be here?”

Lexi snuggles her head into his neck and he wraps his arms around her slim waist. “Here meaning naked in bed with the prince of France no, moving into the French palace no, or being engaged to the sexy prince of France no.”

“Engaged to the sexy prince, did I only become sexy after we got engaged.” Lexi can feel him laugh laying on him.

“Sexy the moment I saw you.” She leans up and leaves a kiss on his lips he smiles into the kiss.

The double doors for their suite open and it’s Henri’ mother the queen mother Catherine de’ Medici who like her son has blonde hair that she usually pins up. “Oh good your up and decent this morning.”

The blonde lovebirds share a look this a frequent occurrence. A few times they have been in the middle of sex when she barges in. The doors do not have a lock but guards posted outside the door but the queen mother is allowed in any room and especially her children’s quarter’s being their mother. Doesn’t matter how old or if one son is the king she will barge into their quarters morning day or night.

“What do you want mother?” As Henri has one arm on Lexi hiding her nudity behind him and pulling the blankets up to cover them.

“Charles found out about your engagement and is not pleased. He demands to see you in the throne room.”

Lexi bites her lip she has never been in the throne room, There are a lot of rooms in this palace she has not been in. Mostly she just stays in Henri’s suite, she has walked through the great hall, the ball room, and seen Henri’s older sister Claude’s room but that was only because her and Claude were going out together and Claude did not like her outfit so she dragged Lexi to her room and throw a short black dress at her and told her to change while she looked for a pair of heels.

Before Catherine leaves she tells her blanket covered naked son. “Henri please do not irritate your brother.”

Henri cracks a little smile and glances down at equally naked Lexi. “I Promise mother.”

Xxx

Before they enter the throne room Henri holds out his hand and smiles down at Lexi assuringly she smiles up at him while she places her purple tipped nails in his outstretched hand his thumb runs over her princess cut engagement ring there are three rows on each side all diamonds the two outer rows are white diamond and the middle row is yellow diamonds. Leading up the big raised yellow diamond in the middle. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They enter to find Charles having a meeting with his spies and generals. Out of the corner of his eye he spots them. “Everyone out I need to have a word with my brother. If you see Nicole send her in too.”

Charles is shorter then his brother Henri but not by much. Where as Henri is tall blonde and has scruff and looks sexy, Charles is shorter, shaggy brunette hair and is clean shaven. Henri has a more gentle looking face he is fun loving where as Charles has a little bit of an evil face meaning that if something goes wrong people look to see if Charles did it because his face does not look innocent, he is a good king it’s just his face makes Lexi uncomfortable. Although that might have been done by their one and only encounter a year ago. The big difference between Henri and Charles is the crown upon Charles head.

“I am told you proposed to this woman last night.” He gestures to Lexi who scoffs at him.

Henri squeezes her hand to give her strength and to silently tell her he has this.“Yes I proposed to Lexi last night and she accepted we are going to move her into my suite later today.”

He doesn’t even look up from the map on the table to tell them. “I did not approve a proposal there for you two are not engaged nor did I approve of her moving into the palace.”

Lexi mouth drops open she is speechless this is not happening.

“Charles, Lexi and I love each other and want to get married.”

“You want to marry a commoner?”

Henri rolls his eyes the promise he made to his mother running through his head. He takes a breath and Lexi squeezes his hand to give him the strength he gave her earlier in this conversation. “Yes. I do not care if Lexi’s parents own a boutique in Paris or she is a heiress. We’ve been together for a year and a half but we knew the moment we saw each other that we had been looking for each other and we finally found each other.”

Charles looks up at the blonde couple and a small smile spreads across his face and he sticks his hand out. “Nicole.”

“My love.” Nicole is Charles fiancé, she has long brunette hair and brown eyes in heels she is the same height as Charles.

Nicole looks at the blonde couple first at Henri with love in her eyes then at Lexi with daggers in her eyes. Charles looks back at the blonde couple. “Your dismissed.”

Both blondes are pissed they were engaged this morning and just because Charles the king didn’t give his approval they not only can not get engaged but she can not move in with Henri. They get to the doorway when Henri turns around a wicked smirk on his face. “Brother why not this afternoon we play a game of tennis.”

Charles looks at his brother even though there is space between them they are looking each other dead in the eye. “What game are you playing brother?”

“ You’ll just have to accept and see.”

The older of the two looks back at the table full of maps and papers then at his blonde taller brother. “I accept.”

Xxx

“I love you Henri and I want to marry you but I do not see this ending well.”

Henri lifts the passengers side of his black Bugatti eb 110 he leans in and tells her. “Trust me.” He leaves a kiss right below her ear.

Once he is in the drivers seat she looks over at him as he puts the luxury sports car into drive. “I trust you.”

With one hand on the steering wheel he entwines his other hand with one of hers and kisses the back of her hand. “We will be married even if we have to disobey the king of France.”

Lexi loves Henri not just with her whole heart but she feels it in her bones this is the man for her. The way his smile can not only make her smile but make her feel like everything is going to be ok. From their first meeting they have had this connection. Henri was walking down the streets in Paris and walked past her mothers boutique and saw Lexi in the window fixing a mannequin. He was totally enamored by her beauty he almost walked into a guy walking towards him. Henri came into the boutique to find out what her name was and that night they had their first date and they’ve have been together ever since.

They pull onto the street where her apartment is and Lexi looks around. “Charles said I couldn’t move in and all my stuff would not would not fit in this car.”

He pulls into the parking lot of the apartment building. As he shuts off the car he tells her with a smirk on his face. “Well what Charles doesn’t know won’t kill him. And if it does your looking at the new king who wants to live with you.”

Lexi comes around to his side of the car and leans up and pecks him on the lips. “How did I become so lucky to fall in love with such a sexy, clever, ambitious and lovely man.”

He shrugs as he smiles down at her. “I have no clue but I fell in love with someone who is insanely beautiful, just as ambitious and clever as I am.”

“Well don’t we make a good match.”

“I think so.”

Xxx

They put all her stuff in the moving van that Henri had ready outside. They return to the palace and Henri orders the guards to discreetly put her stuff in his suite.

When they go out to the tennis court in the back of the palace they see Charles, Nicole and Claude. Lexi kisses Henri for good luck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Lexi takes a seat next to Claude, Nicole is glaring daggers at her, Lexi is ignoring her. Both brothers pick up a racket before they start Claude stands up and goes over to the net. “Shake hands.”

Claude is older then both of them so they come to the net, Claude like her brother Charles has brunette hair that she usually wears up and curly. “Any wager between you two?”

“Now that you mention it sister yes. If I win I would love to marry Lexi but I know you will not grant that so If I win I want the king to accept that Lexi is going to move in with me.”

Charles glares at his brother and Claude looks at him. “Charles?”

“If I win Henri gives up this dream of marrying Lexi and gets serious.”

Henri and Claude share a look why is Charles so against this marriage he is getting married himself and his fiancé Nicole he met in a barn one of the times he ran away from court because it was to much pressure. Plus before he became king he was a party boy in Spain. He came back to France to be taught how to be a king by their older brother Francis before his death.

“Deal.” Both brothers shake and Claude goes back to her seat. “Go.”

She leans over and tells Lexi “Someone needs to keep the peace of this game might as well be me.”

“Aka Leith was busy and you were bored.”

Claude glances over at her and smirks “I hope Henri wins just so we could have a chance to be sisters. And I don’t say that to everyone.” She lowers her voice and leans in closer even covers the side of her mouth. “I didn’t tell Nicole we could be sisters and they are getting married.”

Lexi leans in to Claude. “Thank you for the compliment I hope we get the chance to be sisters too and that Henri wins. Also have you been clubbing behind my back with Nicole?”

Claude lets out a little laugh “Never your the only woman in this palace that enjoys sex and clubs as much as I do.”

They turn back to the tennis match and Henri scores a point Lexi cheers and Charles side eyes her she stops. Charles scores and Nicole smiles and claps her hands. After a couple more rounds the game is tied 5-5. Henri serves the ball and Charles almost misses it but hits it in the last second, Henri nearly missed the ball but hits it.

Claude is getting bored watching them play tennis. “Ok next point wins.”

“Don’t worry Henri you’ll find another woman you never had a problem finding one.”

“How does Nicole stand you at least my fiancé loves me.”

All everyone hears is Charles’ angry yell a racket hit the ground and him charging at his brother. All three ladies jump up from their seats and run over to the brothers who are now actually fighting each other well Charles is trying to strangle Henri who is trying to hold him back.

“Charles!” It takes Nicole and Claude to get Charles off Henri. Lexi checks him out and he picks up a tennis ball and weighs it in his hand. “Henri no don’t add injury to insult, he is still the king and your brother.”

“He will never let us marry more over he wants us to break up.”

Lexi swallows and pulls her hand away from his hand with the tennis ball. She turns around so she doesn’t have to see he throws the ball and it hits Charles straight in the nose he cries out because his nose is broken.

“Henri!” Claude looks back at Henri who says “Looks like I won brother.” She then looks back at Charles who is holding his bleeding nose and shooing Nicole’s hands away from his broken nose.

Claude notices Charles getting ready to pounce on Henri again. “Lexi get Henri out of here.”

“Come on Charles we need to get your nose looked at.”

As Charles passes Henri if looks could kill Henri would be dead ten times over.

Xxx

Lexi gets Henri back to their suite she closes the door and leans against it while he sits in on the chaise in front of the fire place there are boxes of her stuff all over the big bedroom. “Your mother said don’t irritate him you promised. And now you broke his nose. He is going to hate us.”

Henri puts out a hand and she walks over and places her hand in his he guides her to sit on his lap. “I know I promised but he called you a peasant and said that I’ll have no problem finding another woman.”

She lays her head on his shoulder and kisses his neck. “Dinner is going to be real fun.”

He nods as he moves his hand up her back.

Xxx

Just as Lexi predicted dinner was awkward Catherine sat at one end and Charles who had to get his nose reset so it can heal properly. Is sitting at the other end. Henri decides that the best place for him to sit is right next to Charles and across from Nicole with Lexi next to him and across from Claude and Leith.

“Henri don’t you have something you want to say to Charles.”

“Your right I do.” Lexi and Claude share a look they know this will not end well. “Charles I’m sorry, I’m sorry for breaking your nose. The soup we are eating tonight is supposed to help keep people strong. More importantly I am sorry people pity you and think your a weak king.”

Lexi rubs her forehead so close. Charles yells out in anger pins Henri on the table soup is spilt and he is choking his brother. Lexi, and Claude are trying to get Charles off Henri. Catherine stands up from her end of the table and looks at the mess her children have made. “Enough!”

[valeriethepussycats]

Inside Out

Chapter 1

Pairing- Loki x Reader

Warning- cursing

Your thoughts and other characters are in italics. Flashbacks are in bold.

“Long before the birth of light there was darkness, and from that darkness, came the Dark Elves. Millennia ago, the most ruthless of their kind, Malekith, sought to transform our universe back into one of eternal night”

Malekith is looking up at the Convergence

“Such evil was possible through the power of the Aether, an ancient force of infinite destruction.”

The Aether.

“The noble armies of Asgard, led by my father, King Bor, waged a mighty war against these creatures.”

The Dark Elves and Asgardians fighting.

Kurse walks up to Malekith. “Malekith! Asgard's forces are upon us.”

The Bifrost opens, and bor steps out with Asgardian reinforcements.

“Send the Kursed.” Malekith told Kurse.

Some soldiers crush objects in their hands and become giant hulk-like creatures. Malekith looks up at the Convergence again.

“As the Nine Worlds converged above him, Malekith could at last unleash the Aether...”

Malekith and Kurse walk up to the Aether.

However, the Bifrost opens and Asgardian warriors attack Malekith, whom he kills. The Bifrost disappears, just as Malekith tries to get the Aether, but it is no longer there.

“But Asgard ripped the weapon from his grasp. Without it, the Dark Elves fell. With the battle all but lost, Malekith sacrificed his own people in a desperate attempt to lay waste to Asgard's army.”

Malekith watches as his forces are slaughtered. “Their deaths will mean our survival. This war is far from over.” He and Kurse get onto his ship and escape without notice, while destroying the other ships in the process.

The ships kill some of the Asgardians.

“Malekith was vanquished, and the Aether was no more. Or so we were led to believe.”

“Sire, the Aether. Shall we destroy it?”

“If only we could. But its power is too great. Bury it deep. Somewhere no one

will ever find it.”

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Earth, New York City

Wow! A lot has happened in the past couple of years for Y/n. She met an Alien/God, saved New York from an alien invasion, found out she has a soulmate who caused said invasion, and last but not least finding Gambit. Even though these last years had its up and downs. Y/n hadn’t been this happy in a long time, and spending time with Gambit is the cause of that. Spending time with him just make everything better it makes her miss Loki less (even though she didn’t get to spend that much time him). Now She was now walking down the street with Gambit eating ice cream in the middle of November.

“You met my mother. How that happened?” Y/n said taking a spoon full of her ice cream.

“The good professor wanted information on you.” Gambit answered.

“Charles Xavier knew about me and my where abounds this entire time.” Y/n said with an eye roll. “Apparently him and my father have an understanding with each other.”

“Your mother...she didn’t know you existed.” Gambit stated.

Of course she didn’t Charles fucked with her mind too what a big surprise

“Well that still doesn’t change the fact that she abandon me.” She said in a dry tone.

“You gave me a chance....you trusted me to protect you and I couldn’t.” Gambit said with a sad grimace.

Y/n to turns and looks at Gambit. “You did your best. You didn’t abandon me. Ya you could’ve call to let me know you weren’t dead but I wasn’t your responsibility. Those people were after her, and she didn’t want to get caught so she left me behind.” Y/n stated. “You gave me to my father so I could be safe so I wouldn’t be used by The Thieves Guild like you was. You protective me. You’ll always be my hero.....no matter what you say.”

Y/n turns away from Gambit and started to walk away. As she approaches the cross walk she hears a voice being broadcasted in her mind.

Please no!

“Someone is in trouble.” Y/n claimed.

“What?” Gambit mumbled.

Where are you

Oh my god

Where are you

In the alleyway behind the Barbecue Restaurants just off Main Street

Y/n takes off running to Ray’s bbq leaving Gambit in her dust. When she arrives in the alleyway and doesn’t see anyone.

Hello are you here

“Thank you for coming.”

Y/n turns around and see five Einherjar Guards. “Ummmm.Hello.”

“We are the Einherjar Guards of Asgard and our king wishes to speak with you on the behalf of Prince Loki Odinson.”

“What?”

“The king would like-“

“No no I get that but why.” Y/n said to herself.

Gambit catches up to Y/n and see her with a group of guards. “Petit? What’s happening.”

“I’m being summoned by the king of Asgard.” Y/n said with a small smile.

“A king!! The king of Asgard.” Gambit finished with a gaping jaw.

I get to go to Asgard!

“Look I have no problem coming but I’m kind of in the middle of something.” Y/n voiced.

“This is important the fate of Prince Loki rest in your hands.” Einherjar Guard said not trying to be pushy.

“Fate.....I thought Loki would have been went to trial.” Y/n turns and looks at Gambit.

“l..l hav-“

“No...no it’s find go I know how important he is to you.” Gambit said with a smile.

“But just find your way back Ya.”

Y/n is about to walks over to them when a thought runs though her mind. “How about you come with me?”

“Invitation is only for you.” Einherjar Guard chimed in.

“I see that but I’m just a mere mortal I wouldn’t be comfortable being on a world without someone who can relate to me.” Y/n said artfully. “Would you want to be on a world all by yourself?”

Einherjar Guards look at each other in confusion

“Or someone is going to have to tell the king that they could get a mere mortal to comply.” Y/n said with a smirk.

“He can come but he will be watched.” Einherjar Guard agreed.

“You heard em lets go.” Y/n said as she pulls Gambit and they stand next to the guards.

“Uhhh. What’s happening??” Gambit said with a curious tone.

“Heimdall open the Bi-Frost!” Einherjar Guard shouted.

“This is going to be fun!!” Y/n said In a giggling way.

Gambit looks over at her and could see the excitement in Y/n’s eyes. “What is about-“

Suddenly Bifrost opens! A portal surrounds them In an instant, they're gone.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Upon emerge from the Bifrost, Y/n and Gambit looks around at the Observatory.

“Woo-hoo...let’s do that again.” Y/n proclaimed.

“No I’m gonna need a bucket.” Gambit grunted.

“Y/n L. Munroe and....Remy E. LeBeau I am Heimdall The gatekeeper of Asgard.” Heimdall announced.

“Hi....” Gambit and Y/n said in-sink.

“You are a friend of Thor. He has told me much about you.”

“I wish I can say the same.” Y/n said with a smile.

“If you follow the guards they will lead you to the Castle.”

“Thanks.” Gambit said walks with the guard.

“Heimdall...I was hoping I could come back here.”

“What for?” Heimdall asked.

“Well I would love to hear all your stories, being able to see everything in the universe....thats kind of wicked.” Y/n answered.

“Of course you can.”

Y/n smiles at Heimdall then catches up Gambit and whispered. “Do you think I look ok to meet a king.” Y/n was wearing a Navy blue crewneck cable knit with some light blue jeans and white air force 1.

“Petit, you look fine don’t worry about it.”

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Throne Room

Loki is in chains, as he gets brought to Odin.

“Loki.” Frigga said in a began.

“Hello, mother. Have I made you proud?” Loki asked

“Please, don't make this worse.” Frigga said with a calm voice.

“Define worse.” Loki said in a casual tone.

“Enough! I will speak to the prisoner alone.” Odin proclaimed.

With one last look Frigga walks out the throne Room.

Loki looks up at Odin and laughs. “I really don't see what all the fuss is about.”

“Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes? Wherever you go there is war, ruin and death.” Odin voiced.

“I went down to Midgard to rule the people of Earth as a benevolent god. Just like you.” Loki expressed with a shrugged.

“We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die. Just as humans do.” Odin specified.

“Give or take 5000 years.” Loki sarcastically remarked.

Odin: “All this because Loki desires a throne.” Odin put forth.

“It is my birthright.” Loki voiced.

“Your birthright was to die!!!....” Odin shouted. “.....As a child. Cast out onto a frozen rock. If I had not taken you in you would not be here now to hate me.”

“If I am for the axe, then for mercy's sake, just swing it. It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just ... I don't love them.” Loki said perpetually tired voice.

Odin tap the Gungnir on the ground and the doors open. Loki looks back back at the doors to see who could possibly coming in.

“Are we to wait on Thor?” Loki questioned.

“No Thor has nothing to do with this......” Odin started. “This is about someone else. That you are not worthy of.”

Wow this place looks so amazing

“Do you still want the Axe?” Odin wondered.

Loki looks over at Odin with wide eye then turns around and see Robin she looks just as he remembered her. Breathtaking.

“Loki!!” Y/n called out.

Loki can tell she’s happy to see him, she had a broad grin on her face despite him being in chains. “Y/n.” Loki said with darted a suspicious glance at Odin. “What is the meaning of this!?

When Y/n reached Loki she stands next to him and looks up at Odin.

Should I bow

You Bow to no one

Y/n looks over at Loki with a quizzical smile and all she gets back is a coy smile.

She turns back to Odin smiling to herself.

“I brought Y/n here to say goodbye to you.” Odin said in A calm voice.

“Goodbye..why would I need to say goodbye.....is he getting-“ Y/n said in rapid blinking and shaking her head ‘no’.

“You brought Y/n here to spite me......how do you even-“ Loki fumed.

“Frigga told me a long time ago, when you was just a boy.” Odin explained. “And Frigga is the only reason you are still alive and you will never see her again. You will spend the rest of your days in the dungeons.”

“I thought he was going to die.” Y/n said like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, but then a relief is quickly replaced by anguish. “If you were going to do this then why do you bring me here? You should’ve left me on earth, instead of bringing me here when you’re just going to but him in the dungeons for the rest of his life.”

My life

Loki looks over at Y/n with knitted brows. “Y/n....”

“I know what Loki did on earth is unforgivable but-“ Y/n started.

“Did he or did he not kill someone close to you?” Odin asked.

“Yes he did and I kick his ass and my father brought him back.” Y/n answered.

“Your father.” Loki looks over at Y/n with his brows pulled together in a frown.

“Ant....Boot.” Y/n said teasing Loki softly.

“Oh.” Loki said with a blank stare and a paled face.

“Does he deserves punishment or not ?” Odin chimed in.

“Yes but-“

“Then it’s decided-“

“No. No. This can’t be the last time I’ll see him.”

Loki looks over at Y/n and see that black veins slowly starting to appear on the side of her neck.

Y/n, what is the matter

Nothing, I’m fine

“Let me have two weeks with him here on Asgard.” Y/n said not wanting to sound pushy.

“Giving you two weeks with Loki would give him happiness-“

“I’ll be in the dungeons with him.” Y/n said meaning the words more seriously than they sounded.

“You would do that.....” Odin said in curious tone. “.....for Loki?”

“Yes I would.” Y/n said firm persistence.

“Hmm.” With tap of the Gungnir, the doors open.

As the Einherjar Guards come in the throne room and takes Loki and they struggle to get him to leave.

“And what of Thor? You'll make that witless oaf king while I rot in chains?” Loki said with a rigid expression.

“Thor must strife to undo the damage you have done. He will bring order to the nine realms and then, yes. He will be king. “ Odin answered.

Loki looks at Odin and then Y/n as he gets drag away, then Odin looks over at Y/n.

“You can have your two weeks.” Odin announced. “You do not have to be in the dungeons with him.”

Y/n turns her head quickly to look at Odin. “What? why would you just-“

“Do you not want it?” Odin snapped.

Yes..yes I do thank you.” Y/n said sincerely.

“Frigga” Odin calls out for his wife.

Frigga walks into the throne. “Well if it isn’t Y/n Munroe, l am Frigga Queen of Asgard.”

Y/n turns around and see the Queen of Asgard. “Hello.”

Wow she is so beautiful

Frigga approached and took Y/n’s hand in hers and looks at her with a sweet smile. “We have so much to talk about.” Frigga said as she led Y/n away out.

“You are even more beautiful then I thought.” Frigga said with a voice soft with affection.

“No you are.” Y/n said with out missing a beat.

Frigga laughs. “Is this Midgard attire.” Frigga said with one hand spin Y/n around to see her full outfit.

“Oh yes it is.”

“It’s lovely your practically glowing like the morning sun my dear.” Frigga said with a smile.

“Thank you.” Y/n said returning he smile.

“Come dear there’s much we must do.”

Meanwhile Loki watches Frigga and Y/n walking and talking, unaware of the horrors that were occurring several stories below his feet.

“I can’t remember the last time Loki or Thor brought a friend home to meet us,” Frigga said to Y/n . “When a young man brings a young woman home to meet his parents…” Frigga began, implying a possible marriage between Y/n and Loki.

“Technically, I think we have only known each other for a month.” Y/n said, surprised to be having this conversation so soon.

“And if it were three million years, would that change how you feel?” Frigga asked.

Y/n thought on this.

It wouldn’t change one thing.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

“Beautiful golden sunlight shined down through the lush, vibrant forests of Vanaheim. Unlike Svartalfheim, the realm of Vanaheim was much more pleasant an environment. It was home to beautiful lakes and mountains, with vast fields of green spread out as far as the eye could see. But today, it was filled with danger and destruction.

The people of Vanaheim—known throughout the Nine Realms as the Vanir—raced through the forests as fast as they could. They were being chased by the Marauders, a race of space pirates—brutal invaders who were armed to the teeth and out for blood. Their sole purpose in life was to take what was not theirs, and destroy anything—and anyone—that stood in their way.

A frightened Vanir woman ran for her life but stumbled, falling down a riverbank just as a Marauder fired a massive fireball. It streaked above her head, impacting a nearby tree and causing it to burst into flames. As the woman regained her footing, she was confronted by a towering Marauder. He raised his razor-sharp ax, ready to strike, when suddenly a steel mace smashed the villain in the face, knocking him down, and knocking him out.

“Standing over the frightened woman was her savior—Hogun the Grim, of the famous Warriors Three. Hogun did not wait for a thank you, nor did he want one. The Marauders were running rampant across his home world, and Hogun was determined to stop them.

As more Vanir ran to safety, Hogun stood his ground—the only barrier between the fierce oncoming Marauders and the peaceful Vanir. The Asgardian warrior gripped his mace tightly and steeled himself, ready for what just might be the last battle of his life. With a skull-shattering roar, the Marauders charged, determined to crush Hogun and the rest of the Vanir people.

The lead Marauder raised his broadsword and swung, but his blade was deflected by another sword—the sword belonging to Fandral the Dashing, the second member of the mighty Warriors Three! Fandral, still handsome as ever despite the battle, rode through the charging Marauders on his white horse, knocking down one intruder after another until he was able to make his way to Hogun, flashing a smile the entire way.

“Do we have a plan?” Fandral asked his fellow Warrior as he flipped the lead Marauder off his horse and tossed.

“We stand and fight!” Hogun the Grim yelled.

Fandral rolled his eyes at his friend’s single-minded determination to fight. Then a loud Boom, Boom, Boom echoed throughout the trees. Fandral, Hogun, and the rest of the Vanir stopped in their tracks and turned their attention toward the deafening noise. It was coming from beyond the woods, and whatever was making the noise was big. Very big. The ground shook and trees fell with each sound as the unseen threat got closer and closer.

The Vanir did not follow Hogun’s orders to stay and fight, but instead quickly retreated into the woods. The idea also crossed Fandral’s mind.

“Have you considered ‘turn and run’?” Fandral asked, but Hogun only frowned in response. Then the grim warrior looked up and over the tree line and began to back away as well. Finding a Marauder’s horse without its rider, Hogun swung up into the saddle and galloped away. Fandral was close behind as explosions rang out throughout the woods. There would be time enough to fight later.

The two warriors quickly rode their horses into a clearing where the Marauders were fighting with a few of Asgard’s elite guards, the Einherjar, who had come to help the Vanir. Hogun and Fandral stopped before one of their Asgardian compatriots, the strong and beautiful Lady Sif, who was just as brave and tough as the Warriors Three.

Sif was on horseback, locked in furious battle with a dozen or so Marauders. Sif spun her bladed spear high over her head, taking down several of the barbarians, then split the spear in two, forming a magnificent blade for each hand.

Sif fought with fierce determination against the horde, but despite her resolve, she was gravely outnumbered. With all her might, she flipped off of her horse and delivered a powerful kick to one of the Marauders, sending him flying back past the third member of the Warriors Three, Volstagg the Voluminous.

“Volstagg—on your left!” Sif cried.

Without missing a beat, Volstagg swung his battle-ax at his attacker, striking him down with one fell swoop. And when another Marauder tried to attack him with a club, the voluminous one merely took the hit, then turned, broke the club in two, and backhanded the Marauder, sending him flying through the air. But all of this nonstop battling was beginning to take its toll on the excessively large warrior. Now out of breath, Volstagg made his way to a giant pile of timber where he could take a momentary break.

“What are you doing?” Sif yelled. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Here they were in a heated battle with villains known for decimating anything in their path, and one of the legendary Warriors Three was taking a breather.

“Giving them a moment…to regroup…only fair…” Volstagg said between long, labored breaths.

But no sooner did Volstagg stop to catch his breath than another horde of Marauders set their sights on the large warrior. They ran at him with their weapons drawn, but Volstagg merely kicked out the timber, causing it to collapse on and crush the approaching horde.

Volstagg gave himself a congratulatory grin, but it was short-lived, for just as he did, he was slashed across the back by a Marauder. He wasn’t as unstoppable or impenetrable as he thought. Nearby, Lady Sif wasn’t faring too much better. She was surrounded, and a Marauder from across the battlefield was aiming his crossbow at her head.

Just as the snickering Marauder was about to squeeze the trigger, a huge thunderclap echoed throughout the land, and with a bright, blinding light, the Bifrost—the way in which Asgardians traveled between the realms—fired down from the heavens into the center of the battlefield—and directly on top of the Marauder with the crossbow. Lady Sif raised her arm to shield her eyes from the spectacular blinding light and was just barely able to make out two Einherjar on horseback bursting from the glowing white column and charging into battle.

One of the Marauders used this commotion to sneak up behind Volstagg. He raised his sword high above his head, preparing to strike down the warrior, when a whizzing sound echoed from within the Bifrost. As the light died down and the smoke began to clear, the sound intensified. Suddenly, an object rocketed out of the Bifrost, sliced across the battlefield at supersonic speed, and slammed into its target: the Marauder who was about to strike down Volstagg.

The Marauder flew through the air and kept on flying. And flying. Volstagg turned, and upon investigation made out the object that had saved his life. It was the most famous weapon in all the Nine Realms. It was Mjolnir.”

The powerful hammer, which was forged in the heart of a dying star and used by only he who is worthy, hovered in midair before speeding back across the battlefield to the hand of its wielder—the mighty Thor!

Thor, Prince of Asgard and son of Odin Allfather, emerged from the light of the Bifrost looking battle-worn but still majestic, and the sight of him instantly gave the Warriors Three, the Einherjar, and the Vanir a renewed sense of hope. Now that Thor was here, they were sure to defeat the Marauders. But Lady Sif felt that she didn’t need Thor’s help to win the day.

“Shouldn’t you be battling trolls in Nornheim?” Sif said with a scowl.

“I ran out of trolls,” Thor said with a charming smile. “Heimdall said these Marauders were giving you trouble,” he added.

“I have this completely under control,” Sif retorted.

Thor surveyed the battlefield. “Is that why everything is on fire?”

“You think you can do better?” Sif challenged with a smile.

“It would be a challenge to do worse,” Thor said dryly before being surprise-attacked by two extra-big and extra-tough Marauders. Sif rolled her eyes in response, then joined her friend in battle.

Soon, Thor and Sif were joined by Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg. As the battle raged on, Thor used Mjolnir to take out multiple Marauders at once. And when one Marauder thought he might be able to seize the hammer by grabbing on to it, the hammer simply pulled the invader through the air, right to Thor’s waiting fist.

Thor, Lady Sif, and the Warriors Three fought bravely against the menacing Marauders, each one helping their fellow Asgardians. When one Marauder shot an arrow at Thor’s head, Sif jumped into the air and raised her shield to block the attack. And when another fired a rocket launcher–like device, Thor valiantly deflected the blast with his mighty hammer, the impact from which knocked them all to the ground—hard.

“As the Asgardians got back to their feet, they heard the same Boom, Boom, Boom sound that Fandral and Hogun had heard earlier. Whatever it was that was making that sound was much closer now. And the Marauders were getting ready for it. They parted the battlefield to make way, and the heroes looked up over the tree line and finally saw the cause of the sound.”

“A giant Kronan stone monster, made entirely of rock and standing fifteen feet tall, loomed before Thor and the Warriors Three. He held a massive metal club and looked down upon the Asgardians with contempt. The monster was about to crush their bones into dust.

“All yours,” Sif said to Thor as she and the Warriors Three began to back away. The Marauders cheered. This was the fight they had been waiting for! Surely nothing could stop their stone man, not even the Mighty Thor. The rock monster smashed his club into the ground and let out a thunderous roar, signaling the start of the battle.”

“I accept your surrender,” Thor said, but the monster only raised its club higher, preparing to strike. But Thor was ready. Holding Mjolnir by the strap, Thor began to spin his hammer. It spun faster and faster and faster until it was nothing but a blur and Thor was rocketed off the ground in flight. The monster roared again as Thor, flying with his arm outstretched and all the might of Mjolnir in front of him, launched himself directly at the great beast. There was a deafening Choom as the hammer connected with the creature, then a blinding explosion. The Marauders looked up in disbelief and their cheering stopped. Chunks of rock rained from the sky as the monster’s feet stumbled backward, disconnected from its body, which no longer existed. The upper half of the stone man had been completely obliterated by Thor.

“The Son of Odin gripped Mjolnir tightly and turned with a scowl toward the rest of the Marauders. Almost in union, the remaining Marauders dropped their weapons and raised their hands in surrender. The battle was over.

“Next time we should just start with the big one,” Fandral said with a smile.”