#like idk. i feel like things have been Moving. and its not super fast but its a pace i can handle

[bangcakes]

.

[tittysuckersworld]

am fine

[iloveboysinred]

That zuko smut you wrote was SO good!! is it okay if i request some nsfw hc ??? but from keith kogane, idk how to be specific lol!! Thank you sm 💗💗

Thank you anon youre my second ask ever i’m super excited !!!!! I’m glad you enjoyed it! You are so kind🥰 & Ofc you can !! I love me some Keith Kogane. Top tier boy in red

Masterlist

cw; sexually explicit content, 18+ MDNI! Nsfw under the GIF kinda long!

GIF BY @/kin-of-the-sheep

- Okay so in my head i feel like after you and all the paladins get launched into space and learn about Zarkon and the war and everything, you and Keith definitely didnt have time to really “get it on” if you know what i mean. Things were moving so fast and you all needed time to adjust.

- But after a few days of training and getting used to the fact that you’re literally in space the switch is back on for sure.

- Keith isnt a patient man. So I feel like he definitely enjoys quickies here and there around the castle. They’re never planned. Sometimes the way you train in hand to hand combat gets a little too touchy, sometimes the way you looked at him made his stomach turn and his dick jump. Keith just needs you in that exact moment, and the way ya’ll be fucking its a miracle nobody has walked in on you yet

-or maybe they just stay away on purpose 😭

- he likes to be rough during these, slapping your ass, squeezing your hips, shit even tugging on your hair. Everything is moving so fast he wants to get a feel of everything.

- but when you guys have real sex, its like night and day.

- You guys would come home from a mission, tired and scared for each other, every time you guys go out there you run the risk of being captured or worse. So immediately you and Keith embrace each other, heading to the showers to clean off.

- It starts innocent, Keith washing your back, washing your hair. He was savoring every caress, just wanting to be in your skin.

- but then he starts getting touchy feely, ghosting his fingers over your nipples, leaving soft nibbles on your neck. You feel him starting to get hard, his body pressed to yours as close as he can be.

- knowing thats on his mind, you decide to take it to his room.

- it takes you a minute to get there, because Keith kept stopping mid walk to press you against the wall and kiss you and feel you up over your towel. He gets needy fast. Like i said, he’s not a patient man.

- So, when you finally reach the intended destination, his movements are in haste, wanting to get you bare and open for him as soon as he can.

- His kisses are slow as his hands wander, holding you close to him as if he’s never going to get the chance again.

- he’s greedy with your body, eating you out messily. He wants every last drop of you, whole time relishing in the fact that you’re all his.

- every sound you make, every reaction to his touch is reserved for him. In a world where everything was taken from him, Keith wanted something to himself. Something he could take.

- So, he took and took. Orgasm after Orgasm until he was satisfied with the mess he’s made of you.

- But even then he’s not finished with you yet. He likes to watch you closely when he enters you. Eyes half lidded as the tightness of your heat squeezes around him, its utter bliss for the two of you, and he doesnt hold back.

- I dont care what anybody says, Keith is vocal during sex. He grunts and moans right above you, thrusting into you with a passion that shocks you. He loves to ask you how he makes you feel, if you like what he’s doing, ect. Despite having been in the same predicament many and i mean maaany times and knowing just how to set you off.

- “like that, baby?” “Fuck…tell me you like this dick” “take it baby, fuck!”

- Very into eye contact during sex. You guys will lock gazes often. You love to drown in his purple iris while he fucks you, getting almost lost in each other, the only thing you can think of is the stuttering of his hips as he nears his end. He’s everywhere at once, his scent, his body, his voice. All you see is Keith.

- ngl Keith folds you up into so many different positions. He just wants to be as deep and as close to you as he can. He’ll have your legs on his shoulder while he basically folds you in half, beating down into you with his forehead pressed against yours, grunting out curses as his hips rock into yours. He loves the way your face contorts with every thrust. He’ll reach between your legs, playing with you just to watch you squirm.

- He loves when you scratch up his back. It lets him know that he’s hitting it just right, boosting his ego as well as adding to his pleasure.

- he doesn’t really do pet names during sex. He’ll call you “baby,” “hun”, “beautiful” maybe even “my love” if he’s feeling sappy & he loves when you call him “baby”, “honey” or even just his name sounds good coming from your lips. But as far as daddy, sir, master?? He will roll his eyes at you so fast and look at you so crazy, it actually makes me laugh thinking about it.

- When he reaches his peak, he smashes his lips onto yours, his hips jerking into yours as he spills into you.

- But when you reach your peak he takes his time to coax you through it, riding it out with you, whispering encouragement and littering your skin with kisses as you come undone.

- after care is a must. Once you guys are all cleaned up you lovebirds will lay next to each other and lock gazes. Kissing and giggling like lovestruck puppies.

- But all that lovey dovey shit aside Keith is a freaaaaak

- Its the little things you do that really gets Keith’s blood pumping.

- like when the team found out he was half galra and Allura was being cold and standoffish to him, you didnt hesitate to rip her a new one about your man! I know thats right

- while you were bickering with her, Keith was just smug as shit, getting turned on by your protectiveness.

- soon as he got you alone he was beating your walls loose, biting you, sucking marks into your neck.

- when you get angry like that he’ll happily bottom and let you ride him. He absolutely loves when you take control and throw him around a little bit. He reaches up to play with your nipples and leave hickeys all over you as you rock yourself down on him, letting you essentially get yourself off on him any way you wanted.

- Be rough with him. Grab his hair, bite him, mark him up. He’s yours and he wants you to prove it.

- teasing Keith is a dangerous game. If you’re in public doing it especially. You’re basically asking him to break you down as soon as he gets you alone.

- sometimes it gets competitive, Keith doesnt back down and he’ll make sure you’re nothing short of a wreck by the end of the night. But you’re his perfect match. The both of you essentially going tit for tat all night. When he thrusts into you, you throw that ass back on him. When he presses heated kisses to your lips, you suck his tongue into your mouth and turn it into a make out.

- When he came back from being gone for two years with his mom, you guys fucked like animals.

- Seeing him shed his angsty teenager phase into his angsty grown ass man phase was making you feral.

- his hair had gotten longer, he was taller, and his body had become more muscular, but still lean.

- when you got him all to yourself after everyone greeted him and he delivered his news and all that, you guys were just straight up nasty.

- you had two years of no sex to make up for, after all.

- He fucked you in just about every position in the book. Doggy, missionary, cow girl, full nelson, all of it. He missed your gasps, your hushed whispers of his name as he brought you to your high. It was sentimental almost, the way his thrusts showed how much he missed you.

- and it was when you reached your peak that it really dawned on him that he could never stray too far from you. Your boy in red was wrapped around your finger, bound to you. He gazed at you in new astonishment, almost childlike wonder as you fluttered around him. Forcing his own orgasm to rack his body. He moaned, low and drawn out. Pressing his lips to yours like he always did when you reached your climax, rocking his hips gently into yours to draw it out as much as he could.

- hushed “i love yous” between the two of you as you basked in the glow of having your Keith back.

Hope you like this Anon 💕 thank you for your request/ask :> notes and reblogs are appreciated, comments, asks and submissions are welcomed !

[shotoyami]

hi! loving your writing so far so i thought i’d drop a request in the box :)

could you maybe write a scott summer’s x male!reader where they’re both younger (as in students themselves at the x-mansion) and Scott is struggling with migraines and the reader helps him out/comforts him?

whether your write it or not, thank you for you time and have a good day!

prenotes: this is so super cute, for real. Scott needs the biggest hug guys, please, someone hug this man because his supposed wife isn’t hugging him enough (all the love to Jean, but move over, Scott’s my man).

Thank you so much for the request, anon<3

pairing: young Scott Summers + young male reader

warnings: one mention of “pills” (ibuprofen)

genre: fluff, because obviously

notes: idk what I was trying to do in terms of perspective, so please disregard that if it’s a bit confusing… migraines suck, that’s fairly well known, but I imagine it’s horrendous for Scott since it’s from a mutation. like, take a normal migraine and multiply it by a thousand. ouch.

word count: 700 +

Migraines hurt a lot guys

Ever since the arrival of new students, the new generation of x-men, Xavier’s school is just the fullest it’s ever been. Life spread all throughout the mansion, so many classrooms filled. This, of course, is a great thing, especially for those who feel a bit outcast– especially for students like Scott.

Being surrounded by people who are different, like him, was immensely relaxing. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he wasn’t still scared of hurting others, no, but it certainly helped to be surrounded by the support of other people scared just the same.

The best support system for him being his best friend, (y/n), a boy around his age, a fellow mutant who’s still learning how to control his mutation.

Now, every mutation has its setback (or, in some cases, setbacks), and for Scott that is horrible, horrible migraines. Like, seriously, killer migraines.

Today is one of those days, where Scott has locked himself in his dorm as a consequence of such. His curtains are drawn, every sound that would be happening daily is completely absent.

A soft knock comes to his door. “...Scott, it’s (y/n). It’s 2 p.m., the professor was looking for you.” His best friend’s voice calls, causing Scott to groan and, reluctantly, get up to open the door. He must’ve looked pretty bad, because (y/n) would wince at the sight of him. “Yeesh…alright, migraine day for you, Scott?” He only slightly nods in response before retreating back into his dorm and collapsing onto his bed.

(y/n) carefully walks into the room, closing the door softly and slowly setting down the work he’d gathered onto his friend’s dresser. He glances over at Scott, who’s hiding from the world underneath his blanket, and chuckles softly. “Gosh, Summers, you act as though your migraine is eating you alive.” He jokes, and receives a glare in response. With a sigh, he sits on the edge of his friend’s bed. “So, have you taken any meds yet? Eaten anything? If not, I don’t mind grabbing something for you real fast. That should make you feel a bit better.” Scott huffs, but grumbles to himself. “What was that?”

���I haven’t.” He mumbles. (y/n) hums in response, nodding, “I’ll grab something for you then. Oatmeal? Soup? Mac and Cheese?” Scott blinks at his friend. What a particularly specific list of options. “...mac and cheese.”

(y/n) nods in understanding and slowly rises. “Wait for me, I’ll be right back.” When he leaves, Scott is left in silence yet again.

Silence. A usually comforting sound, something to be considered peaceful. But, not right now. Never when a migraine was raging. Scott frowns to himself, hearing the sound of a clock ticking somewhere. It was rather grating, the sound of that clock. Right as he was about to make a complaint of some sort, the door to his room opens again, causing Scott to softly hiss.

“Sorry, sorry. Should’ve warned you with a knock, huh?” (y/n) swiftly apologies, walking in carefully with the warm meal. He brings the bowl over to Scott, offering a spoon. “I grabbed some ibuprofen too, so don’t scarf it all down at once, alright?”

His friend sat silently, allowing Scott to eat in the sound of peace, or at least as peaceful as anything can be with a migraine. About halfway through the bowl, (y/n) hands him a couple of pills. When the food is finally finished, Scott lays back while his friend moves the bowl somewhere in in the room.

He just lays there for a bit, resting his eyes while he silently hopes for the medicine to kick in as quickly as possible. After a few moments, the bed sort of shifts, causing Scott’s eyes to snap open. “Gosh man, calm down. This ain’t the first time I’ve done this– no homo.” He shoots (y/n) a glare in response, which causes the other teen to chuckle. “I’m sorry, maybe a little homo. C’mere.”

(y/n) pulls Scott against him, wrapping himself comfortably around the other teen. The two sort of melt into one another, and Scott finally feels himself relax a bit. “Get some rest, Scott.” Is the last thing he hears as he slowly starts to slip away.

[thatliftgirl]

B0osting update #3!

Ok so first of all, there will be no haul this weekend bc I extended the semester and I got exams this upcoming week (,:

Anyway:

On P0shmark I just sold my first clothing items today- a cashmere sweater for a profit of $85 and another sweater for $20 profit. I’ll be shipping those tomorrow.

As for èbày- holy shit you guys it’s insane! I’m actually shutting it down for a little while because I can’t keep up with the orders. Today I had to pack and ship 12 packages (I failed, I only got five out lol) and I got I believe 7 or 8 new orders today. Total profit of $750 on makeup alone.

When it comes to what sells, I’ve noticed a few patterns but I haven’t sold quite enough yet to be sure they’re consistent. I originally only listed eyeshadow palettes and a few other things here and there because I assumed most people wouldn’t want the other stuff bc it’s harder to return and to know if it’s your color. But it turns out, lip stuff sells really well- and not the Dior stuff either, it’s mostly the mid-range brands because people want those anyway and if your listing is the lowest price, they go for it. My top lip sales have been Laura Mercier and Ole Henriksen.

Also, I originally thought that I could put the ideal price as the buy it now price and just turn offers on and I’d get all the business I would get if it were a lower buy it now price- but it turns out a lot of people are actually pretty shy (lol me too) and they simply won’t make an offer no matter what, so I’ve lowered some prices for the socially anxious folks and those listings sold.

Now moving on to the shadows and palettes- most of my sales have been one or two items, but surprisingly I’ve had buyers who bought 8 or 9 items, usually palettes, at once. One poor girl begged me to hold onto stuff for her until she gets her paycheck, which made me feel kinda bad because girl why are you spending your obviously very little money on makeup?? But hey maybe she’s in high school or smth, idk. At first I assumed they were reselling (which, I mean, I can’t really complain cause I got it for free 🤷‍♀️), but it kind of seems like they’re just foreigners in big cities trying to look rich lol. Each time it’s a Chinese name and it’s from nice areas of L.A. Idk I could be wrong, but I think some people just want a lot of makeup I guess. Anyway, my most popular items were rare or limited edition (I didn’t even know they were but thankfully èbay told me haha). Dior limited editions went super fast for $75 each, and people LOVE YSL stuff but only in the common colors, they don’t want couture clutches in the less popular colors. I learned I have to price rarer colors for less sometimes, not more, because people search for the shade they want. All my Pat McGrath and Anastasia palettes have sold. I have a ton of Dior and Lancôme and Clinique in stock as you guys know- like probably at least 30 palettes from each brand. Quite a few Dior palettes have sold, but not a single Lancôme or Clinique product has- except for one individual eye shadow shade from Lancôme- no matter how low the price. We’ll see if that keeps up. Surprisingly again, Dior lip products and blush are simply not popular.

I’ve been packing them really nicely and throwing in a nail polish in each one and a lip balm in the big orders, but nothing has arrived at its destination yet so I’m just hoping I get good reviews! Also like an idiot I lied about my age on eBay so I’m scared my money will go out the window because it’s on hold while they verify my SSN.. I really hope not /:

Oh and I did start an èbay for my clothes, but I just listed six things to kind of gauge how it goes. So far I just got one comment on an item asking for measurements, but idk how to take those (,: same thing happened on p0shmark- if anybody knows pls help a girl out and hmu 🥲

That’s all I’ve got, and of course these are just my observations, they might not be completely accurate since I’m just starting out, but I’m hoping these updates will be helpful for some of you thinking of b0osting on these platforms. If anyone has any questions, just wants to chat, or wants me to nab smth for them even- hmu, I’m always happy to chat (:

[i-cant-sing]

OK POOKIE! i saw my message went thru 🥸

i remember a while ago you were like “look at y/n with all these time period yanderes and little snippet ideas of how they act,,,” AND THEN THE LAST THING OF PART 7 IS Y/N DIDNT LOOK AT THE TIME AND JUST PRESSED THE TIME MACHINE BUTTON ,,, my theory is that ur different-time-periods-yanderes r going to make an appearance in your time traveler AU 😎 if so, ur a genius and I AM ASWELL

Also i like how crazy u made Baldwin. honestly i lowkey forgot he thot y/n was an angel and that he’s actually super smart. idk if u did that on purpose tho cos i was like “oh he’s dumb in love” w/ how you write him but then, offhandly mention how he won a war at 16 or that he genuinely believes y/n has magical powers. like ik he’s smart but i feel like ur smarter with the way you made me forget how smart he is. or i might just be forgetful ,

it kinda makes me sad that y/n didn’t get to say a genuine goodbye to sultan but honestly…she didn’t have the time to. she had to move fast. WHICH, i really liked how fast the ending was. it was BAM we find out he’s crazy. BAM wedding. BAM we run away. BAM we on a cliff. BAM WE JUMP OFF CLIFF cos tbh when u find out the person u love is crazy and has been manipulating everything around since the start u kinda just…roll with the punches until u find a way out.

i liked that Guy died. even if baldwin set up the situations to make it seem like Guy was behind it, Guy still said really infuriating things. Baldwin didn’t tell him to call us hoes. Guy called us a ho3 , that stupid bitch.

This is- this is EXACTLY how I wanted someone to react to my works. Details, reactions, everything. Come here, baby- you're my favourite person now. Let me give u a smooch🫶

There will be different time periods reader will go to now, and I have a few in mind (I am very excited for the two of them, but one more than the other but I can't write that one yet because then the less exciting one will lose its charm but godddd do I wanna rush this to my fav time period). Lol and I made a list of time periods/historical figures that had potential and idk why but I wrote down Columbus but then I looked him up and I was like... nvm.

[leatherbookmark]

ssooo my early s2 impression's confirming itself: the show is at its best writing-wise when it's about the crew faffing around and low-stake Events that can be summed up in one sentence. ie, s1 episodes 5-8, they don't have much going on in terms of plot, the premises are basic, so everything that happens feels organic and unhurried. now we have Events and Beats that Need to happen, we have more characters that Need Screentime, and it just... doesn't work as well? the episodes aren't even a little bit longer, like 40 minutes instead of 30, so while in s1 scenes where the characters went "okay, so here's the situation and here's what we're doing!" were fine, in s2 it just feels grating and i kind of feel like the writers have bitten off more than they can chew :/

mannnn ep6 is a bit of a mess tbh? giving off strong It Was Written vibes, not really a fan tbh

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

This made me think how much hanma and draken have this funny enemies thing going on so imagine ur pissed at shuji or just sick of him not making a move yet? Y’all act like a couple but this mfer never made it official? Like why is his hand always in the back pocket of ur jeans? Why does this mfer offer u the last bite of his donut? No tell me why tf does he hold ur hand in a crowded place?🤨And when u lowkey joke about oh are u in love with me? And he laughs saying “don’t be silly doll” doll? (I’ll end him I swear) so u flirt with draken and yknow how he hates his guts that’s why u do so to piss him off and I think pissed shuji very sexy tbh wow 🤲🏽👍🏽and the thought of losing u to another man? And that man is bald with a braid? Aw hell naH Shawty he confessing so fast🤭😳

No because making draken the sacrificial goat is killing me lmao. Dw we won't do draken dirty here I've got a work-around.

also massive apologies to you vivi i'm sorry you knew abt this for an inordinate amount of time

Official.

it takes idiots (reader and shuji) many months, jealousy and miscommunication, and some prettiness to finally make it official.

cw: fem!reader, reader loses her temper and shuji is super needy so its a lil more subby!shuji smut, cream pie, unprotected sex (don't recommend, be safe out there), ye idk im gonna go pretend this isn't posted now, peace ✌️ ~2.2k

God but hear me out it starts at a toman party. Shuji and you are acting the way you always do. You're literally in his lap lounging in the corner of the couch. He's playing with the hem of your skirt, flipping the end between his fingers and rubbing the skin of your thigh. You're talking to Yuzuha who's occupying the chaise lounge. You haven't seen her in a while, she's been abroad with hakkai on so many modelling gigs lately. And she totally misreads the situation. She's like, so how is it, finally being together?

At first it's silly, though you have a tinge of want at the end of your words when you joke back with, "Well we've actually been married for three years, we just never found the right time to tell you all."

Yuzuha clocks it as a joke, but not as a sore spot for you. Or maybe she's so shocked and that's why she won't let it go that easily. "Hanma what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Undiagnosed ADHD and probabl-"

You give your friend a we're-going-to-talk-about-this-later look as a baffled Yuzuha cuts him off. "Wha- Hanma god damn it I meant-no- you know what I meant."

He offers a half shrug, "What? M'young."

That's when you excuse yourself blankly to get another drink. The insinuation that Shuji was still playing the field left you a bit numb. He wasn't. You knew that he wasn't because you were with him 90% of his waking hours. Hell you'd platonically (as platonically as you and Shuji ever really were) slept in his bed last night and woke up next to him. The bastard slept with his arms around you and snored in your ear half the night and he has the balls to joke like that? His words stung like a betrayal of the highest degree.

In the kitchen you found Draken looking for a pong partner. Perfect, you decide, a distraction with alcohol built in.

He tells you casually between turns he's fresh off (another) a break up with his on again off again girlfriend and you feel a dark part of you light up and a wicked idea is born.

You throw the pong game. To the point where Draken has to give you pointers. Has to get real close and talk lowly in your ear about how we need you to aim for the left one this time okay? His honeyed baritone sends shivers down your spine and you wonder for a second how much better this scenario would be if it were Shuji in your ear. Shuji's hands on your hip, his thumb dipping below the waist band of your skirt.

You huff a little. Nah fuck him. it's time to put your plan into action. You throw with your usual accuracy. You get the point. Out of the corner of your eye you see a certain skunk striped boy half-fixated on your game.

Showtime, you brain screams.

Excitedly you hop in Draken's grasp, throwing your arms around his neck and revel in his pleased laughter. "You're up again," he says as he puts you down and steps back. You stop him by the wrist, tug him back a little.

"Wait can you help me line it up again?" You bat your lashes a bit, playing at being drunker than you both know you are.

"Sure thing." You feel his warmth and relish in it, stalling and pressing into him. It's a miss, but the tiny peck under your ear he plants feels like a win.

The ball splashes in a cup on your side and you opponent, Kazutora smirks. Draken offers to drink it but you refuse. It's cheap beer. It's rough going down. Draken puts his hand between your shoulders and says that for such a pretty little thing you sure can hold your alcohol. The praise, more than the alcohol, warms your cheeks.

It's the last shot and you make it. You excitedly turn around in Draken's grasp and catch his lips in yours. You never intended for it to be a just celebratory peck, but you pull away, blushing a bit and stuttering apologies to make it appear so. Draken drawls out some praise for his pretty girl that won the game and draws you back in by the small of your neck and pulling the plush of your lower lip between his teeth.

You hear Kazutora cat whistle and know, you just know, it's meant to alert his buddy Shuji. Mentally you apologize to Emma but after she's regaled you and the girls with all the filthy details of the nasty make up sex she and Draken have, somehow you think she won't mind this little show, given that's all it was.

You hope she'll also forgive the two heavy punches Shuji lands on her Kennyboy before Kazutora pulls your next friend back and you can get back between the two again. People are staring, hoping for a fight. Some even boo when Emma whisks Draken away by the collar of his shirt and you try to push Shuji away.

"Fuck him," he spits and looks at you, "you too you little shit," he accuses and pulls you away by the wrist.

--

God, you're a certified sucker for that crazy look in his eyes. It's the first thing you think when Shuji slams the door of a spare bedroom in Pah Chin's house. You can't help it. There's nothing like Hanma Shuji slipping into his aggressive chaos mode on this earth. His irises glow with his emotion. And, wow was it easy to forget that he had you pressed against the door of this room with all his energy and attention fixed on you.

His fingers were knotted in your hair and you vaguely noted his growl asking you what the FUCK you thought you were doing.

"And who are you to ask that? I'm not yours. We're not together Shuji. Never have been. You're young, still right?" You shoot back

"Tch, that's what this is about?"

Maybe he had you caged against the door but liquid courage had you fighting back. You shove his chest. "Yeah. Yeah that's what this is about. What the fuck right do you have to treat me like I'm yours? You drive me everywhere. You hold my hand. You share your bed. You kiss my forehead. You make me breakfast. You know my secrets. You call me yours. But you can't make it official? What the fuck is up with that?"

With every sentence you've pushed Shuji back till he was perched on the corner of the bed.

"How the fuck is that fair, huh? You want me to be yours Shuji? Then tell me you're fucking mine." It's not a request. It's a demand. An ultimatum. A last chance to be honest with you.

He's looking up at you still as a statue, emotion so unreadable it unnerves you. You know how he wears almost any emotion. He rarely surprises you, and yet...

"I'm yours."

Shuji says it quietly at first like there's a lag between his awareness and speech. You're shocked he's caved so quickly and you stutter out an "Excuse me?"

"I'm yours." He repeats, more confidently. "God I'm so fucking yours." He's dragged you by the hips to straddle his lap and his lips are on yours and you swear you can taste the adrenaline on his tongue.

It's every bit as addicting as you guessed to properly make out with Shuji. You don't know how long you've been sat on him attached in this kiss but when you tug him by the hair to catch your breath and hear him groan at the tension you think you've died and gone to heaven. He's mumbling little "all fuckin yours, baby" up and down your neck and you feel his voice reverberating in your throat.

You grind down on the swell of his hardening dick and smirk a bit, lips ghosting his, "all?"

"All."

He's shimmying out of his pants, when you slide off his lap to kneel on the floor. You're met with a sizeable bulge hidden under tight black fabric and you damn near moan just at the sight of his freed dick springing up to tap his abs when you pull the last offending piece of fabric away. "Shuji you're so fucking beautiful." You say as you brush your fingers over his length carefully. His mouth opens in an amused playful smirk but you're on him immediately, stealing his words by licking a stripe from base to the tip that you pop right in your mouth. His jaw hesitates and then goes slack as you look up at him and take as much of him as possible.

You don't know what you expected but he is not quiet. He's mumbling praise and expletives and he exhales the hottest, breathiest moan you've ever had the pleasure to hear, let alone cause, when his tip hits the back of your throat and you swallow around it. You smile around him and want to giggle but you settle on humming around him. You force his fingers in your hair into a fist telling him to set his pace but he pulls you off instead. He's panting a bit and you feel a pang of pride in your chest.

"Need to fuck you. Need your pussy." He's already clamoring to help you up and discard your skirt. You do him the honor of not remembering his words as needy and stuttered as they were just this one time.

You climb over him to straddle his hips and stroke his cock once, twice, before running the tip along your slit. Rather than taking the tip you pivot your hips and pin his dick to his abs and run your soaking lips along his length. The sensation of his hot head nudging your clit brings you to your elbows, moaning in his ears.

Big hands grip your ass and grind you even harder into his dick. And between the warm stimulation and the nails digging into your skin you're already on the fucking edge, but you'll be damned if the first time you fuck Shuji you don't cum around his cock.

Finally after your relentless teasing you lined up his dick and hovered over him bobbing just enough to tease his tip with the velvety walls of your pussy. Shuji can barely whine a "fuck, doll stop teasing me cant take it," before you've sunk down and taken his cock whole and he's groaning and squeezing your ass, pulling you onto himself with bruising strength. You're suddenly laying on him again, collapsed down to your elbows with the power of your orgasm, while your fluttering walls only spur him on.

The weight of years of fantasies of this moment hit him at once and before you can process it, he's bear hugging you and rolling over to take the lead. Fuck, how could he not? After pining after you for so long, imagining getting to finally fuck you and promising himself that he'd make sure you wanted no one else when he was done with you.

It's endearing, you think, how he mutters as much to you over and over as he makes your pussy his as he fucks you through your high and beyond. You giggle and moan and gasp and think this is exactly how you pictured sex with Shuji to be needy, whiny, unexpected, a little rough.

You can read him so well that when his breath hitches just right, you wrap you legs around his waist, ignoring the stuttered warning of his own impending orgasm. Instead you gripped his hair, pulled his face to yours and breathed, "Gonna make me all fucking yours?" over his lips.

Immediately he pulled away from your kiss, unable to coordinate as he lost his composure and filled you, half locked in place by your legs. Muttered curses and filthy nonsense about how you feel around his is all he can get out until he's spent, finally latching his mouth on your shoulder to give an affectionate bite, not unlike bites you'd exchanged as friends a few hours before. You let him lay on you a minute or so to recover before he pulls back and sits up on his knees to look down at you, at his handiwork.

"Holy shit."

"Yeah," you agreed.

"Why haven't we done that before?"

"Hm...something about you being young?" You tease as he eases out of you.

"Yeah yeah, I get it. We already fucked that issue away," he jokes back and combs his fingers through some minor tangles in your hair, "S'not like I meant it anyway, y'know."

You catch his hand and tug it, wanting to be closer, "You're free to prove that to me any time."

In true Shuji form, he gasps in that goofy performatively dumb way he likes to as he brings his face close to yours for a kiss, "You mean I can do this again?"

[fedoraspooky]

In light of tumblr shooting itself in the foot, I've been thinking about what I should do with my art from now on. Obviously, deleting my old posts off here isn't gonna do shit, it's essentially locking my door after my house got emptied out by burglars. Especially with my old rp account I no longer can log into, they're just gonna steal and sell my old art that I posted there and I can't even flip a questionably-affective toggle about it.

Thing is, I dunno how many people are gonna actually leave. I'm not even sure I will, since I have a lot of friends here... And after so many shitty updates a lot of people are just hanging on out of spite at this point.

That said, I'm considering that for art posts and stuff, maybe I'll post them elsewhere and just link to them here so they're not on tumblr's servers? Idk... Tumblr tends to kill the visibility of links but I'm not really sure what else I can do.

Also, there's the question of where to actually post new stuff. Bluesky seems the most active but I dont know if old posts cut off after a certain amount of posts like twitter does, in which case that would not be a good archive in the long run. xnx

Cohost is functionally pretty close to tumblr, but ngl it seems super isolated on there bc of its commitment to not showing any likes on your posts. I get that its to combat the social media numbers game, but the downside is that it looks like nobody's even seen your work. If people like something of yours there's no way outside of notifs to see it, so scrolling down on your page and seeing only zeros after zeros of comments on stuff (comments are the only visible number), it's easy to feel like you're just posting into a void.

Pillowfort is pretty good, and they just added tag blocking and the ability to queue/schedule posts. Still kinda quiet and invite only, but if you sign up for the invite queue you can get one pretty fast. Also i probaby have a ton of invites sitting around if anyone wants one. I wish it had an app, but mobile web version works well enough I guess, and I'm already used to doing that with sheezy and newgrounds, so I just have those open in mobile tabs together.

Speaking of, Newgrounds has been pretty good, but due to the nature of the portal system and stuff you're more encouraged to post only your better-looking stuff there. You CAN post doodles if you want, but only outside of the portal, which limits their visibility. Kinda like dA's scraps system I guess.

Sheezy looks super promising customization-wise so I'm thinking of posting there more when it opens up to more peeps.

Toyhouse also looks really good for OC and story things too, and also has a good degree of customization.

There's probs options I haven't even thought about, but its good to know there ARE options. I may post in several of those places for now and see how it goes. Test the waters a bit.

If you're thinking of moving your art elsewhere lemme know where, I'm curious to see where people are going :o

Especially you moots, i need to refind my pals in these other places!

[aita-polls]

Aita for not accepting my best friend's bf?

Me (F 17) and my best friend (F 18), we'll call her C, have been friends for over two years . We became close quickly, she was there for me during a really dark time in my life. We've gone to concerts together, sleepovers, she even went on a family holiday with me last summer. Basically we're really close.

Everything started going "wrong" last spring when she started talking to this american guy online, we'll call him L. C was really into him and they were texting like non stop the last few months of school. He seemed to be into her too and, despite some of his quirks, I was genuinely happy for her. One weird thing was that anytime anyone asked about his age she would say something vague like "idk early twenties" ok fine. Well fast forward to July and we're getting our nails done, C is talking about L and the nail girl asks about his age and she says the same thing about "eh like 22, 23, it hasnt come up yet" but the very next day she sends me his old Facebook acc that she found because she's upset that it's full of old posts about his ex. I look at it and I'm like 👁👄👁 because this MAN went to HIGH SCHOOL before we were even BORN. Early twenties my ass. I'm doing calculations, I'm counting on my fingers, I'm opening the calculator app. I text her back like omg this guys in his 30s,, he's like a creep.

Three things to keep in mind at this point; one when they started talking C was 17, two C had always said she wanted to date older men bc guys in their 20s were immature and I kind of agreed bc I thought "oh yeah she means when she's in her 20s she'll date men in their 30s", and third literally the day before she said she didn't know how old he was.

She texts back "oh yeah I knew for a while I just forgot to tell you" sure... anyways she's fine with Ls age, I find it quite uncomfortable but I'm like whatever she's young, we're starting college soon, they'll probably break up and I won't have to worry about it. So I was just trying to be chill about it.

One day I get the text I've been waiting for. He's ghosted her for like three weeks. She's done with him. I try my best to comfort her and then she says it. There's another guy. She went back on dating apps and now she's matched with another guy, M, and they've been talking for a week and it's going really well.

She sends me a photo.

This man is

Dusty

Musty

And ANCIENT

He's like properly Dad aged

He's 38 💀

And I'm just like ew ew ew. I am no longer able to be chill. Now I know this will never end. There's no waiting for a break up because then there's just a cycle of older man after older man. I message her, like trying my best to be as nice as possible basically asking if she's sure about him, if this is the right move for her, and warning her about the type of guys who date girls 20 years younger than them. And naturally she defends her relationship and asks me to give him a chance. I really do feel incapable of giving him a chance because like for example if my cousin who's 34 started going out with one of my friends it would fundamentally change the way I view her as a person and I love her to death. So yeah it's a hard thing to just get over.

I decide to just shut up about it.

Then she says that M has a spare mattress in his house in France so we can all stay over and go on a holiday to France. So I, naturally, being the comedian I am, asks if its in the basement with the other girls. She gets REAL defensive and an argument sparks. I tell her like all my feelings about it. Honestly I was quite mean here, I called him weirdo and a creep and like what even was the point of that?? Silly silly me.

Anyways the next time we met it was super uncomfortable and we haven't really seen each other since then, not by avoidance we're just in different towns and we're not in school anymore. I do feel like there's a rift between us now, which is horrible because the only reason there was a fuss about this guy to begin with is because I care about her so much. I don't want something like this to come between us. We're meeting up soon so obviously this isn't totally doomed and maybe space was a good thing.

I see pictures of C and M together now and like it weirdly makes sense. Like don't get me wrong M is riddled with red flags but also they're just kind of two dorks that have found each other. He seems to bring her out of her shell. And she seems to make him genuinely happier. So like maybe this is a good thing.

They've also met in person now and she's still alive which puts me more at ease. But I'm still quite a bit put off by the age gap. AITA for acting the way I did about him, and just not being chill with it?

[iridessence]

How are you so confident? Your pics give the the "I'M FABULOUS AND I KNOW IT" vibe without being fake... you know... a lot of times in pics you can see who is fake confident even of they try to fake it well.

You're GLOWING and you give this great positive vibe.

How did you achieve this? I'm asking this because I'm not confident at all. At home when I'm alone I can be confident but as soon as I go out I stop being confident. At home in my mirror I look ok, average but ok. When I see my reflection outside I'm horrified by my looks and I look like the ugliest person on the planet.

When I talk people usually don't understand me well due being so stressed sometimes I talk too fast or too quiet and they're like "what???"

I think talking too fast comes because people usually interrupt me. I'm introvert and people have always talked over me since I was a kid. So I feel like I need to get it all out before I get interrupted

Other times I don't speak too fast or too quiet but words just can't come out and I struggle to even form a sentence. For 5, 10, 15 seconds I would struggle to find the right words. And when you talk to a boss or a co-worker those 5, 10, 15 seconds last sooooo long that it seems to me like I have been quiet for 10 minutes.

I also cry quickly and I struggle with this. I can't top myself and it's very unprofessional to cry in front of my boss or co-workers that later on make fun of me even more.

Can I become more confident myself?

Or do I need a shrink for my problems (or psychiatrist english is not my first language so idk which word to use)

When I see confident women like you I'm like I CAN DO IT... but this "I can do it" just lasts till I don't step out of my apartment.

Hi, thank you for reaching out. Identifying your issue and seeking help is a very important step, so you’re already on the path! Some of what you asked is addressed in my pinned post, but I have some other thoughts.

These are tough things to deal with and work on – there are so many factors that contribute to struggling and it sounds like you deal with anxiety. It might not be to the same extent, but I struggle with that as well. Something that helped me was reframing confidence and related issues under its umbrella: it’s a muscle, which means it will take time to build but it can be built. And some people have muscles that are naturally suited towards certain things while others might have to work really hard at it; you may be in the latter category but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible!

Therapy certainly helps, but one of the other big things is trying to find community and surround yourself with people who support your personal goals and for whom you can do the same. People that say “hell yeah, wear/do/say the thing!” This may seem hard and counterintuitive to achieve for a person with anxiety, but even online community can be a huge help. Finding those people who have similar interests who are kind and supportive can help you to build confidence before branching out to locals as well. Soon you’ll find your people 

Location makes a huge difference too. I definitely dressed up quite a bit in Chicago where I’m from but I felt sometimes like an alien on the street with how some people received me. Moving to New Orleans, when I’m dressed up it’s just Wednesday. Sure, I turn heads and people take pictures and often people inquire about or comment on my style, but still there’s a sense of creativity and letting your freak flag fly in this city that really feels liberating. But sadly relocating is a huge to-do.

Leaning into what you love is super important— making sure that what you do/say/wear is ultimately for YOUR enjoyment is a key foundation to build on.

One of the great things you’re doing great already is looking at yourself in the mirror. You’ve gotta do it every day. Try talking to yourself in the mirror too, practicing ways you might introduce yourself, etc. These are all different ways you can exercise that muscle so that it doesn’t feel so strange when you’re out in social interactions.

The biggest thing with all of these is just time and taking steps to care for your mental health and growth. It’s hard but it’s worth it, and I wish you the best of luck! 

[missuswalker]

could I request relationship hcs with Craig 🙈(nsfw too only if you feel comfortable)

of courseeee, my requests are FILLED with craig after writing notes, but i'm not complaining

relationship headcanons || craig tucker x fem reader

✮ summary: um, yk, craig as a boyfriend 😍🤞 ✮ warnings: nsfw content, reminder that characters are aged up!

sfw

very "shut the fuck up. i'm kidding, i love you" boyfriend. he's just silly like that. he does love you, he just wants you to shut up 😁

on the note of him loving you, i can't imagine him saying it first, but i can imagine him saying it more

"craig" "what" "i love you" "ok" "CRAIG" "i love you too, chill."

probably says it to piss you off more when you're already mad at him tbh

anyways, moving on, he's such a good hugger

he wraps his arms around you and rests his head on yours, meOW MEOW

sorry

but he's so cute. don't tell him that because he'll side eye you and leave you on heard

he doesn't mean to hurt your feelings, though. he's just like that fr

at like, 1 am, he can get kind of deep

"babe, do you ever think about how we'll either die loving each other or die being distant memories in each other's brains" "craig... bye."

will forget he even brought it up by morning

while you're sleeping he lets stripe #17 crawl on you because he thinks its funny

but then gets worried stripe will like you more so he puts him back

anyways, he kicks his legs in his sleep. you're gonna get kicked, sorry. or he'll like, roll over and suffocate you cutely and aesthetically, idk

reads satan x jesus fanfiction to you randomly when its been silent for a really long time

he threatens to break up with you all the time if you're annoying him (he doesn't mean it though)

after, like, a year of dating he gets you a promise ring

but he just hands it to you

"this is a promise ring, don't lose it."

but he gets all smiley when he sees you wearing it.

makes you wear it on your middle finger

sees karate moves on tv and asks to try them on you

nsfw

very blunt about everything once he gets super comfortable with you

"i'm hard."

will send audio messages mid sext of him laughing

but that's only sometimes

you guys sext a lot not gonna lie

when you guys have sex for the first time he finishes so fast because he'd been thinking about you so much the night before, but didn't expect it to be that good, like damn

he can get pretty rough if he wants to

bites his lip if he's really concentrating

he grunts, folks, no moaning, sorry

pushes your legs open or back all the damn time, like if you put your legs too close to him, that shit is getting spread

once when he was having a bad day, you give him head and he whimpers

it only happened once, never again would he whimper

he was so embarrassed

if you're upset he's soso gentle

but won't let you ride him

unless its your birthday

or christmas

he likes to be on top because he likes to feel in control of the situation

and it makes him whimper, so its a no-go, sorry buddy

has a boner half the time you guys cuddle

plays with stripe immediately after you guys finish

he keeps a sheet over his cage thing when you guys do it though so he cant see

wants to take a shower with you but can't because he gets hard again

[soaps-mohawk]

hiii!!!! im back girliee :) sorry i fell of the face of the earth for a little bit. no pressure to answer this fast its not super important lol

the last few chapters have been so delectable!!! love getting kyle action but also ghoap/gazsoap/ghostgaz was YUM!!!! 🤤🤤 I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited to get back to the camera/Simon's bond conflicts too tho lol 😅

haven't been able to play much COD recently due to being busy :( (+ I've been playing The Last Of Us and I may be a bit obsessed with Joel Miller.....I really need to stop playing multiple video games at once lol) (also actively playing Genshin Impact)

I HAVE FUN HEADCANNONS

idk where this idea came from but I have a headcannon that the TV in the rec room is just lowkey the worst. Old, slow, and the base is out in the middle of nowhere so it limits a lot of their TV options.

Don't have streaming because it requires a payment/subscription and something about not being able to hook it up to an account/being on a military base/not safe to have clues to their money or personal lives (I know nothing about the military forgive me). They do have cable but because their base is in the middle of buttfuck nowhere they get only the strangest, most low-production channels out there.

I saw a youtube video a while ago about a British reality TV show where a female contestant is shown a bunch of dicks, nothing else, and she has to decide who she'd want to go out with based on that alone 😂😂 it was completely uncensored, so dicks would just be fully hanging out there. that's the type of shit that they get on the cable in the rec room LMFAO

feel like the only option for personalized TV/movies is the old DVD player hooked up to the TV (that was there when they moved into the place 😭) so the boys constantly have a collection of DVDs they're always rewatching, or they buy new ones/ship them in when there's something new they want to watch

I'm the type of person who will watch bad movies or reality TV shows just so I can giggle at them, so I FULLY believe that the pack would find some shitty knock-off reality TV show and lock in to watch the new episode every week together

if the boys and/or 'mega ever want to watch something popular/that would usually be on streaming they just have to get it off some backstreet website or something like that (they have burner laptops specifically for this purpose)

hope you're having a good day/night/afternoon and that you have a good week as well :) stay safe, slept, and hydrated!!!<3

— 🌘 !

Aww no need to apologize!! Things happen, people get busy. I'll always be here, hanging out (well, not quite as often right now but i'll see stuff eventually!!)

Aww thank you, thank you I'm glad you enjoyed them!!! They have been rather delicious, but don't worry, we will be getting back into the fluff and ANGST very quickly. I've been dragging the plot out more than I wanted to so now I'm rectifying that lmao.

I own The Last Of Us (it came with my PS4 when I bought it four years ago) but I still haven't played it because I suck at playing games lol. I either play all the way through at once or I play for an hour and then turn it off and don't touch it for months lol. Same even with the Sims. I go through cycles of playing for hours everyday and then not touching it for weeks and weeks.

No but like that idea would be so true lmaoo. Just an old fuzzy TV that has no streaming capabilities. They have a very vast collection of DVDs (organized by Simon of course) which is how they keep themselves sane lmao. They get like ten channels and flip between sports and daytime TV and game shows 😂 it's a routine now, sitting and watching some random game show at night.

Hey, they break a lot of laws already, what's the shame in playing pirates? 😉

[parab0mb]

So, now that I finished the game (again) and the DLC chapters, I'm going to ramble about Crosscode C:

This game is really bizarre in the sense that, to be completely 100% honest, there isn't any particular part of the game that I think is all that mind-blowing. But all the individual elements (heh) of the game come together so well that the resulting product ends up being so much stronger and memorable than the sum of its parts.

Like, most indie games have one or several notable flaws or shortcomings (and understandably so) but this game is such an airtight experience that I can't help thinking about it and just being like "the how HECK is this game so GOOD?!"

...I am of course just getting started, I've got a wall of text of things I liked and thought were just "meh" under the 'keep reading' if you're interested (you've been warned (also spoilers obviously)):

The combat is definitely one of the strongest elements of the game and probably one of my personal favorites; its brutally difficult and sometimes feels like bullshit (and maybe there is one or two instances where it actually is just bullshit) but once you get the hang of it is really is flashy and satisfying and makes you feel badass to pull off. Plus its got the whole easy to learn, hard to master thing going on (like most of it is just charging SP and pressing the space bar, but knowing what moves to use and when def play into things).

I dunno how much of a hot take this is, but I really liked the puzzles in this game! I won't deny that they can sometimes drag on and interrupt the pacing of a temple, but personally I didn't mind. And just like the combat they're so well constructed that, while you'll spend minutes staring blankly reminded that you're a simple-minded creature and that the human mind wasn't made for this and you should be foraging for mushrooms in the woods and risking death over your next meal, they rarely feel impossible to solve without having to resort to a playthrough and are really satisfying to finally figure out (not to brag but there was exactly one puzzle in the game where I had to look up the solution and another where I did solve it on my own but then looked it up cause I thought I cheesed it by mistake). At first I wasn't a huge fan of how fast/precise you have to be for some puzzles on top of just finding out the solution in the first place, but after a while you kinda get used to it (and there is an option to slow things down which is really nice of the devs to include).

The story is... pretty alright. Yeah. I honestly don't have much to say about it. Bit of a slow pace, does the job, and has it's share of twists and emotional moments, but the narrative itself doesn't really do anything mind-blowing either so... you know. I definitely think it's the characters themselves that are memorable and prop up an otherwise average story. I mean every single one of them is just the hugest goober and even characters who initially seem forgettable or one-dimensional end up subverting your expectations and being super endearing/compelling/layered. Oh yeah, and Lea is a character that can only say like 10 words and SHE DESERVES THE WORLD I WOULD KILL FOR H-

Also, since the DLC is brand new to me I do wanna say that the ending was the tiniest bit underwhelming. Like you break into Vermillion Wasteland, fight a (surprisingly easy) boss, and that's... just it. Like 20 minutes top. I dunno, it feels like... something was missing. Still thoroughly enjoyed the entire thing and it is nice for the cast to get their happy ending (not quite as emotionally impactful as the base game's end imo, but still great and I'm glad they gave us more time with these dorks).

The platforming and navigating the overworld is tedious, which sucks a bit since that makes up a good chunk of the game. Idk man, having to scale different elevations of platforms is made frustrating by the fixed camera and the fact that the different "levels" of platforms aren't distinct from each other at all, so its easy to get duped by the perspective and jump to something you can't actually reach (yes you can use projectiles to check but it still isn't fun). Even without everything blending into each other visually, trying to find which obscure paths from four rooms ago will bring you to a chest just isn't all that enjoyable (some of the later maps like Sapphire Ridge were okay though, if only cause they started to have actually interesting puzzles to do). Basically they're just... there, between the actually fun stuff.

The trading system and farming for resources is confusing and kind of a chore. That's all I got.

Guess I'll touch on the art/music since I don't have too much to say about them. To be perfectly honest I'm not actually super crazy about the artstyle (blasphemy!), but I won't deny that the sprite-work and overall aesthetic are still super-well done, even if they aren't my personal taste (tl;dr I'm neutral on it). The soundtrack isn't something I'd put on my phone and listen to in the car, but like the art it's still well-made and perfectly suits the mood of/drives the emotional impact of the game, and there are still a handful of standout bangers (Lea's theme will live rent-free in my brain of course).

One last thing I'll say (that I mentioned before) is that as fun as this game is, it feels like a commitment to get through at times. Even when I first played it and had more free time, sometimes this game just felt "imposing" to pick back up after a break. Idk its hard to describe, but at least for me it was hard to play any other games alongside this (especially with my limited free time) which kinda sucked a bit.

To wrap things up, if I had to give the game an arbitrary number rating, I have to give Crosscode a 0/10 because its an indie game that doesn't have a fishing game (smh honestly how could they make such an obvious mistake 😔).

[teddy-feathers]

i realize i am very privileged. i realize that even if my family dont "agree" with me being trans they probably would have left me to it to some extent even if i was worried about arguments and judgment.

i mean they could throw me out i suppose but it isn't like my gut reaction its just a fear.

but i was afraid of these things and still am.

and because of this i kept waiting for the right moment to come out to them.

and trump got elected and i was just like i cant wait much longer and hes not going to be able to make that much difference that fast

because while not super great there were things in place that hadn't been before. and to some extent i would have been able to say "right now i can transition and it wont make much legal difference"

now of course things are back tracking hard.

back to being officially crazy or delusional or brainwashed by trends or worse.

and. i still obviously want to move forward.

cant argue that its safe to do so. that things are not getting worse. but i still can physically transition as of right now and....

im scared of course that will go away. and that if it does i will have started for nothing because what little i will have done will partially revert and i will have painted an obvious target on myself without even being able to reap the benefits of even idk like a beard.

like even if my family didn't care if i was trans,they would argue against me starting to transition now because of the possible ramifications.

the thing is. i dont want to wait. waited long enough. i want to do. be. feel. exist. be taken of hold in my own life.

it has gone from not being a thing. to im not special. l to oh its an actual possibility but im not special enough. its not allowed for me. to a possibility. to a delicious day dream. to a wish. to a hope. to a desire.

im not at need yet. but i am not waiting until i want to claw my skin off if thats what it takes.

i have shoved this down inside of me and protected myself from out side criticism while criticizing myself the whole time.

i am. scared. tired. angey. and sick. of how things are going and we're less than a month into this bullshit.

i am not going to give them any legal reason to do anything- though soon it may be just being on t might be enough idk - i will not seek legal transitions. i will not get a diagnosis of dysphoria or what have you so something can be fed to my insurance. hell i probably wont tell work company.

i will just slowly change and when people ask and i dont know them like that i will say i have a health condition. if anyone presses further im working on it with my doctor. thats all they get to know.

thats not something anyone can act on as of yet. a d if just being on t becomes something actionable i will of course revisit my opinions. if they take the ability to take t away i will revisit my options.

but im not going to obey in advance of thier obvious intentions. im not going to just change my mind or how i feel because theyre going "actually fact check this is bullshit" why you lying like that.

i know im not alone, i know there are so many trans people in the world. i know there have been throughout history.

and even if it was proven that sure trans people exist but i am not one of them i would want to try transitioning until i felt for myself that it wasn't what i wanted.

and what harm would it do? oh no ill be modifying my body un nessesarily . itas my body what does it matter.

the health concerns - im willing to assume the risks

ill be stuck as an ugly girl - matter of opinion but im kinda not "taking care of my appearance" anywas, a lot of the changes will revert, and the ones that dont im fairly aware of and am will to accept the risk of having to keep even if i dont end up liking transitioning

the legal or job related ramifications - im not seeking any changes from outside forces right now, im not having it documented, and if going to planned parenthood or taking t becomes reason enough to come for me in the night - or day - i probably have bigger issues and theres too many comments on the internet for me not to probably be dragged away for "reeducation" or "mental help"

if my job fires me because i start growing a beard and i decide its too much of a hassle to mitigate that by shaving regularly (or i just. want a beard) or because my voice gets annoying and then drops. or my boobs disappear later then idk i sue them for looking at me and going "thats an ugly girl" because like. i aint telling them i aint an "ugly girl" and what they suspect aint actionable as it has not changed anything about my job preformance.

also all this shit takes time. theres gonna be people fighting back. theres going to be well actuallys. theres gotta be actual legislation.

socially becoming a target - to some extent it is a free country. to some extent the right to swing your fist ends with the other persons nose. if that changes too much more my having a vigina will work just as much against me socially as me rocking a beard.

i am so tired. i feel like ive been strangling this feeling inside me all my life though i can only prove that i have since 2018. thats what? 7 years? pretty long ass time. ive reflected and consider enough.

im ready to act.

it shouldn't make a difference. i will mitigate the things i know will. i acknowledge that even then it will make a difference.

but this is not up for debate. i wont let it be.

somehow...

im awful at setting boundaries.

but this isnt going away because some assholes have decided its not real. its not going away because it would be safer if it did. its not going away because my family will probably think its stupid and i could just not.

i am getting ahead of the point where i just not cant.

by a slim margin.

this is not a submission for review. this is notification of whats going to happen.

[plunder413]

Man, if anything has truly utterly "gone downhill" its analysis videos or as they're now called "video essays". Like, I was there for specific early youtubers to lay down the groundwork and sorta define art analysis as making your own art in turn. If you've been in certain anime circles, you know. What I was hoping for was breaking down the barriers of convention that restrict people's thoughts on art. I'm an extremely postmodern and subjectivist person, and I wanted individuals to bring out their own experiences, loose and everchanging, senseless, only defined by itself. Instead we just have people going "THIS THING U LIKE IS SECRETLY BAD" and making a 5 hour long video meticulously taking down something in the most boring and bad faith way possible.

Like, where is the schizo love letter to like Earthworm Jim or some shit. Where's the videos that have interesting editing and personality? Idk I feel like it's all just this dick measuring contest to see how cynical we can be. It's saddening. Analysis is supposed to be like sampling in music, taking this art and rearranging it to reflect your own psyche, a creative endeavor in its own, an exercise in love.

And like, I think the evidence lies in the fact that I just make my own art and don't bother with wider discourse on the stuff I'm into. Like, I like cartoons and anime so I made my own story. I like music so I make my own music. And I'm honestly happier. Maybe it's because most creative types don't want to sink into the modern discourse hole that continues to discourage creativity in favor of comfy homogenous distraction sludge that can also say "hey, gay people? cool as frick actually!". Like, yeah, I could watch an HBomberGuy video but I could also just eat spider eggs and have them hatch and crawl around my insides and that will be just as painful but infinitely more interesting.

Really, I've seen far better art analysis here than anything on fucking YouTube and I think that goes to show that as much as you can say about this site, it's a site ABOUT art and creativity. People who fundamentally understand creativity and are not just trying to find the most correct art. Because going down that road only gets you polished, easily accessible bland muck that only conveys the most vaguely left leaning thing with none of that icky abstraction or weird humany stuff. I am into the infinity creativity has to offer. I happen to like to see weird taboo sexuality that mixes psychological branches into a colorful slurry. I happen to like when reality is bent or shaped into an abstract nightmare realm. I also like seeing cute girls just hangin out. I also like SpongeBob SquarePants.

Really what this comes down to also is a western standards being prioritized over all else. Which is dumb. And racist! Like, anime is a different culture that prioritizes different shit. I'm not even just talking about lolicon and shit, I'm talking like, fundamentally being stuck in these super intense, gritty narratives that maintain a consistent tone based on fast moving action and cliff hangers. Sorry but the idea of a maturity being stoic gritty cynicism is a very American idea, and shit is just different when looking beyond the western mainstream. And sometimes its not this presentable G rated thing you can call "chilling" and "breathtaking" sometimes it's a surreal atmospheric comedy with pervy jokes that deconstructs Japanese culture with very specific references and media tropes. Everypony should watch Neo Ranga btw, and I will once it can't trigger me because fuck that show feels like a nightmare. I'm using primarily anime examples because that's the foreign media I'm most familiar with.

Basically conservatism is a virus infecting even the self described anarchists and progressives and leftists because I can't handle having a strong emotion because I'm so pants shittingly scared of the current climate of Things(TM).