#like idk idk if i actually planned things out maybe id be fine

[arinmoss]

i want to paint soo fucking bad but cant without. taking out like literal actual paint and girls that means i have to clean too!!!!!!! and also actively think whilst painting and like mix colors together manually like thats so much workkkkkk

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[jesskasb]

ritsu and shou gaming. ritsu and shou climbing trees. ritsu and shou making a youtube video. ritsu and shou shopping. ritsu and shou skateboarding. ritsu and shou trying weird food. ritsu and shou staring contest. ritsu and shou playing club penguin. ritsu and shou hiking. ritsu and shou people watching. ritsu and shou ritsu and shou doing literally anything. i think they're friends and i think they should hang out

[kingshovelbug]

im sorry but i need to geek out somewhere and screaming into the void on tumblr is less likely to get me flayed than on twitter, especially if i get terms wrong. plus i can do a read more and yall can click into the tech talk if you want to verse it bombarding your twitter timelines

so idk if i only liked it or if i actually put it in my queue but i saw a post that talked about a few pieces of tech that focus on user repairs and being sustainable (fairphone and frameworks laptop) and after doing some more research into what they have to offer i actually really excited that these products are finely hitting the us market and that people are moving away from the belief that super smooth streamlined glassy = the future. being able to reliably repair and keep what you have alive verse throwing the whole thing away when maybe all you needed to do is add more ram to your current laptop (something that i would do with my laptop to keep using it for a few more years if it wasnt glued shut and i was at risk of cracking the screen) or swap out a fuse.

i know big corporations dont like it but i truly do believe with how much tech we use on a daily basis that the way that we are going to be more environmentally friendly is to move back to tech that we can hang onto for as long as we can and to recycle and then reuse what we cant. like with the frameworks laptop. i saw that they just partnered with coolermaster to create a case specifically so that you can reuse you motherboard, cpu, etc and make a portable workstation. you could dual wield with the laptop you just upgraded if you want to dedicate specific tasks to one or the other. they also specifically mentioned that you could screw it into the back of a monitor and create your own all in one. guys thats cool as shit??? if you had a 3d printer and some time you could even create that yourself

on top of the actual hardware part moving to open source programs when your able. when i update my desktop i plan on running linux. it might have a learning curve compared to windows but in terms of performance??? ive heard that it runs smoother even on older machines, that its more efficient because isnt running stuff in the background that tracks your data and shit. now i understand that not everyone can do that because there are some programs that dont play nice with linux but for my needs at least it does everything i would need it to. and maybe a couple years down the road we do figure out how to run these programs on certain flavors of linux since its open source and people fiddle with it so much. (still looking for alternatives to like word and excel though, i use google docs since its free but i want to move away from them as much as i can too since they laid of their youtube music team (i believe?? it might of been a different branch) for trying to unionize)

if anyone knows of any other smaller companies that actually focus on sustainability and user repairability please let me know. theres certain pieces of tech that i think are now unfortunately behind a software repair paywall, things that used to be just machines and are gaining more bells and whistles like cars and refrigerators if that makes sense. but the more we push for these things to be repairable by us the consumers id hope that would change, or there would at least be options that dont need specific companies to repair them or else they blow up

[yakultii]

guys my plan was to do summer semester but the thing is im yet to finish this semester and by the time i finish these assignments (hopefully end of this week) ill have literally like only 1 week break then do it all again so id do summer semester literally nov-feb then i gotta do next sem march-june and then I’d be done with my degree and be free or i can literally be normal and take the 4-5 months of summer off like everyone else in aus (or even just do 1 class to lighten the rest of the load a little in the other sems) but then id have to do next sem being march-june then july-oct next yr so i wouldn’t be done til this time next yr and i do rlly struggle w this second half of the year as u can all probably tell lmao. and a part of me thinks i should just do summer semester like fulltime load cos ill be on a roll like ill get better marks in the summertime but now a part of me is like what if i burn out (cos i have to do march-june regardless cos there’s a compulsory class on there) but then a part of me is like ill be fine but then a part of me is like maybe I should take a break and dedicate this summer to making friends again and trying to enjoy life and trying to go for walks and stuff but then also i just realised i have to move out of my current place in jan but that’s ok i could just go travel for a bit or somethin til i figure out where im moving idk idk wot do u think i need opinions even tho i ultimately don’t listen to anyone ever (just kidding i will actually consider listening to u bc idk) i rlly do wanna just be done w this degree but at the same time i feel like the timing is kinda right to make new friends and old friend and stuff like some things have come where im like maybe this is a sign from the universe to take the opportunity idk like i could have the best summer of my life is i let myself but then there’s also the chance it goes so wrong which is another reason i was gonna do summer sem cos a part of my brain so wanna relapse n like if i do summer sem my academic validation stronger than anything (except rn apparently no jk it still goin strong ish hence im not sleeping rn) and like if i do summer sem i know I won’t relapse bc i rlly need brain capacity to be able to perform at the level i want to (despite doing everything the night before believe it or not ur brain needs minimal fuel at least) so it’s like as much as doing summer sem SUCKS it would probs be good for me rn (though I could probably just try really hard to have a fun summer and engage w humans for the first time in years and distract myself and be glad I had a good summer and not relapse yeh) and I’ve been hyping myself up for it the entire year and I do think that id be ok and not burn out bc I’d be starting fresh and also im just gonna do it online anyway and try keep up and maybe I can hang out w friends at the same time but also I could not do it and dedicate myself to trying to get something good going for me in this life outside of uni you know but then it would extend my degree for another 12 months hmmmm what do u think

[whichcouldmeannothing]

paper rings (teacher!spiderdads)

this is dedicated to ran podiumspray who helped me get this idea all fleshed out idk maybe if i get like 20 notes I'll write it fr idkkk

EDIT: read chapter 1 here!

-

Someone drops their lunch tray on the table with a large bang. Miguel sighs before he looks up at Jess, who sits across him at the table. He always hopes that maybe he's intimidating enough that no one will sit near him in the canteen, that maybe people still believe that rumour that Mister O'Hara actually is a vampire who sucks people's blood.

But even if that were true, Jess would probably still sit across him and gossip.

Jess has been the closest thing Miguel has to a friend in this place, so he knows that she knows that he's not being an asshole when he continues to write down his lesson plan in his notebook. He's an excellent listener, she's said before. And she only comes by if she has something juicy, something Miguel cares about.

"I heard Parker got divorced," She says, twisting open her apple juice.

Miguel's pen stops moving.

He looks up at her.

He turns to where Peter is standing in line. A kid is engaging him in a lively conversation, and his eyes are bright in the way they always are. But Miguel, under Jess' guidance, knows how to sniff out details. Something something literature something something. He can see the dark stubble dotting his chin, the unironed shirt and the dark circles under his eyes.

"He could just be stressed," Miguel offers.

"He's not wearing his wedding ring." Okay, maybe he's not the best at looking for things yet. Miguel squints, and he can't see the glint of silver that Peter usually flaunts.

"What are we talking about?" Someone's puffy cardigan presses against Miguel's arm, and he has to close his eyes before registering Lyla beside him.

"Can you come with a bell? So I can be prepared for when you pop up and ruin my lunch." His assistant stares at him, unimpressed. She's never been scared of him, and that lets her get away with too much. He hates it.

"I'm not a cat, you're just a bitch." Eloquent as always. She follows Jessica's line of sight, and she jumps in her seat "Talking about Parker's divorce?"

She says it loud enough that people around them are turning to look at his table, and Dios mio, Parker is looking at him from the stall and he wants to die. He can eat in his cubicle. He takes his entire tray and walks out of the cafeteria.

He walks straight to the lounge, scanning his ID and walking forward and turning to the left and right, with one last right to get his cubicle. The cubicles are set by order in seniority, so a small carpeted wall separates him from Parker's mess of a desk.

He sets his tray down, and in the air-conditioned silence of the room, he eats. It's lonely, but it's peaceful. It's tranquil. He eats his salad and finishes his lesson plan. He drinks his apple juice. The only thing left on his tray is the cookie, kept in a white paper bag.

He stares at the carpeted divider. His is sparsely decorated, with two photos pinned up. One of his brother at the beach, and one of tiny Gabriella with her uncle at the same beach.

Miguel is a family man. That's all he has to be. He wakes up, makes Gabriella's food for school, sends her off, goes to work, picks her up and takes care of her. He meets Gabriel once a week for family bonding. Sure, he doesn't have much of a life outside that, but he doesn't need one. He's fine.

The cookie isn't his favourite. It's too sweet for him. He keeps looking at the wall.

He knows that on the other side of that wall, Peter's wall is full of notes and letters from his old students. Different cards in every single colour of Post-It note, all thanking him for the impact of his teaching.

Now, he's divorced.

The man so proud of his wife and his toddler, the man who would flaunt her so much, the staff is well aware of Mary Jane Watson-Parker and Mayday Parker's day-to-day escapades. Similar to Miguel, he holds his family as a priority.

Something that feels like concern tugs at him. He tries to squash it down. Peter has been one of the worst colleagues he's ever had. He goes on tangents in his class more often than actually teaching, he rewards the smallest step forward, and he's remarkably laid-back. On paper, he's a terrible teacher.

He's a horrible seatmate, music almost always loud enough to be heard in Miguel's cubicle and always ready to lean over and ask Miguel stupid questions about his class and his day. They're the only two teachers who joined from their year to have stayed in Romita Senior High School, but that's where their similarities end.

But the man's going through it. And as much as Miguel thinks he's a nuisance, he's not (He sighs.) the worst thing on the planet. He stands up and takes his cookie. He walks five steps and places it on the mountain of papers he calls a desk.

Is that too cheesy? Too vague? Too incomprehensible?

He hears the lounge open, and he sees a familiar spike of greying brown hair walking forward, about to take a right.

Miguel panics. He looks around for- aha- a pen and draws a haphazard smiley face on the bag. It's shakey, and Gabriella can do better. But Gabriella is a saint, of course she could do better.

Miguel runs back to his seat and stays completely still. He starts counting. Peter walks past his cubicle, his cheap cologne smelling very faintly of cedar and vanilla.

"Oh, nice." Peter says. "Free cookie."

Miguel feels underwhelmed. Maybe he'll never do anything nice ever again.

-

[dragon-queen21]

this is a spur of the moment, no plannings going into this one because im not doing very well but shhh!!!!

(first off, im sorry i didnt say something sooner, ive been seeing your concerning posts lately. are you okay? seriously? i dont know if this is a line im crossing but if you want i could drop my blog if you ever need to vent. im sorry if thats too much i don’t understand things like this sometimes, but i genuinely hope your okay.)

but i wanna speak about lil sanji real bad, because i had a dream i was little and ive been having a lot of ideas about him lately and i need to project. also in honor of the sanji fan zine thats coming out (and that im totally not considering buying for 85 dollars as a early birthday gift) (or late since it ships in march lol)

- um idk i feel like hes a quiet little, especially before the crew found out he was a regressor, he doesnt really wanna talk, he just wants to be around someone. like i can see him pre coming out finishing like lunch or something and coming out and just sitting with nami and robin and theyre like “hello sanji kun do you need anything?” only to be confused when he doesnt start twirling like a love sick school girl.

^ or him going up to zoro PEACEFULLY and just plopping down and zoros fighting DEMONS not to say something brash and ruin the moment because sanjis clearly not in the mood, or if he looked close enough, not in the right headspace to deal with a attitude

-or even post coming out i imagine him just making everyone take a turn in holding him, not like pick up holding just. in the aquarium or something sitting on someones lap holding him close. give my guy some comfort PLEASE

- has one specific stuffed animal he keeps with him all the time. like first thing he asks for when hes tiny, f pacis, f sippys, give him his STUFFIE!!!!!!!!! youll never guess what it is (its a fish)

- i know a lot of people say sanji woukd be scared of the bigger members of the crew, and i so agree with that, but BUT the bigger members of the crew holding sanji like a actual baby? proportionally hes closer to the size of one if their hands

- no thoughts in this guys head, its just straight static. when hes younger, he has to like actually try to force two coherent thoughts together. i dont know he regresses really little a lot of the time, id say he stays closer to babyspace/toddlerspace than anything on the older side (he has so much trauma to work through)

ok im done im really sad so im gonna go to something productive to not. be sad byeebywwbyewww

📷

Thank you. I am just… having a time of it right now. People are… cruel, we’ll just leave it at that. And no your not crossing any line, if anything your words warmed my heart. I’m doing alright. Not the best not the worst just, fine.

I’m sorry you’re going through things as well :< We can suffer and be sad together <3

~~~

~I’ve seen talk about that zine floating around. 85 dollars is a lot but it would be fun to get.

Let me know if you do get it!

~“twirling like a love sick school girl.”

<- okay that made me chuckle. I can imgine there were so many alarm bells going off in their head. And maybe the just think that “oh Sanji’s… quiet”

~Zoro just aggressively chomping down on his sword and training to keep himself from saying something he knows will be stupud and unhelpful. And Sanji just seems so… soft and Zoro is like 95% sure this is some horrible mistake

~Attention starved. He’s just attention starved. Give the baby cuddles

~I’m quite partial towards the head canon of Zoro buying him a stuffed turtle. Sanji looking back and forth between Zoro and the plush before declaring “moss.” With no other explanation. Is that the plushes name? Is he just saying Zoro’s name? Who knows, certainly not Zoro.

~See I’m telling you. Caregiver Franky + babyspace Sanji. Just kdbjdbd best duo. (I just really really love cg Franky)

[strxbrymochi]

random when you're sick jaemin drabble

pairing: jaemin x reader (i tried to make it gen neutral djsjsjs)

words: like less than 1k ish??

warnings: mentions of sickness, illness, id say it be too close to home fr

synopsis: basically you're sick and jaemin's here to comfort you as much as he can long distance style.

note: a random ass drabble i came up w as im lying in bed sick for the 4th day and after a conversation i had with my mom bc i needed an outlet lol (its like 99% based on real life events other than the fact that i unfortunately do not have a jaemin with me 💔)

you absolutely despised being sick. okay, maybe sometimes you would be okay with it because it served as a formidable excuse to get out of work or your responsibilities for a couple days but that was when "sick" constituted to simply a cold or a fever that passes over the next day, not when you're tied down to the bed and the toilet every second of every day.

you wake up one day to shivers, brushing it off, you continue on with your day, heading over to work. on your way to work, you start feeling dizzy, nausea hitting you. you take a pill to calm down and make your way to your shift. today, you were working at a small fast food chain restaurant and if things couldn't get any worse, you were assigned to deal with the blowtorch. the heat from the fire and small space rushing all the way to your head but you push through, making it to the very end of your 3 hour shift.

making your way to your next appointment, you scavenge for food to hopefully give you back your appetite. you haven't eaten a proper decent meal all day; only crackers before you drank your pill. oh, and did i forget to mention, you headed into work with a 38 degree fever; claiming "to be fine" because you needed the hours to sustain your living expenses in a foreign country all alone.

at your meeting, you're met with fatigue. a wave of exhaustion rushes over you and coughing fits take over. your brain barely processing what was being discussed, only speaking when directly being asked a question. but still, you push through, ensuring everyone around you that you were going to be okay. that it will all brush away soon and that you really are just tired. your fever has reached close to 40 degrees.

you sigh, throwing your phone on your bed. on any other day you would have loved to talk to jaemin, especially now that you two were oceans apart. it killed you to know that if only you hadn't moved he would be right there and you could see him in person. that alone would've been all the medicine you need to get better. but alas, life had other plans.

the next couple days consisted of sleep, wake up, repeat. occassional trips to the toilet and visits from coughing fits disrupting your sleep that make you sound like you're entering into an entirely different dimension. you had absolutely no energy-- to eat, to move, to do anything really. when you said you needed a break, this wasn't what you meant.

jaemin would call you, or attempt to call you and you would pick up, if you were awake and if you were in the mood to speak. he would send you daily messages to drink your medicine, eat meals, get some rest. you knew he was worried and it killed you not to be able to ensure some type of reassurance everything was going to be fine. you knew if he found out what you had been actually doing, you would never hear the end of it.

one night you had awoken from your nap struggling to find something to eat, let alone the energy to consume anything. at this point, your stomach is practically bounded to an electrical heating compress to temporarily soothe your pains. you weren't sure if you were getting any better. your fever was relatively gone sure, but the coughs, stomach pains and diarrhea remained. let alone, that morning you almost passed out in the toilet, hearing muffled, ears ringing, vision blurred. all you could do is pray.

well, at least your sense of humor was back.

---

LOL such an abrupt ending idk i just needed an outlet to express how im currently feeling and whats been going on these past few days so if theres a delay with mtt or my other stuff i apologize once again 😭😭 need all the prayers and support i can get fr; being sick is one thing, being sick in a foreign country alone is another story. for anyone else who has gone thru or is currently going thru same thing, i hope yalls feel better soon and that know things will get better! bc i know thats what i need rn 🫡

[fivveweeks]

hi its me it's verdante angst anon (angstnon? idk) again

shaking ur hand SHAKING UR HAND you get me you get me you fuciigndnsn get me

"They're a tragedy, the both of them. Dante's fine with that. (They have to be, they have no choice in this) Given enough time a tragedy turns into a comedy. Maybe they'll be able to laugh about this in the end. Maybe it'll even be divine."

you don't undertsysnds how feral i am about these two. i am firm staunch zealous believer in verg not seeing himself being worthy of like anything good not until he has payed for his sins or wtvr he wants that to mean. i think he exercises a lot of self control to make sure he has like an arm and a leg and several bodies worth of space between him and anyone trying to get close to him (xcept Charon ofc). actively turns and runs from that shit bc 1. he doesn't deserve it. 2. he literally does not have the time for that shit

dnate on the other hand— chronic workaholic, to the point they can and will push personal feelings aside for the sake of their job. if u look up the word professionalism you WILL see Dante Limbus Company as a synonym. they keep their feelings in check (under several locks and keys) in the back of their mind aging like fine wine. they're aware they're not a choice and they're okay with it. it's their fault anyway, they're such a silly little fool.

it has always been doomed from the start. do you understand? it has always been hopeless. it was never meant to be.

dante knew/knows/accepts this, they do not have a choice. (but then again when do they ever?)

ANON YOU'RE SO FUCKING INSANE I NEED TO TWIRL U AROUND LIKE HOLY SHIT U GET IT!!!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA how much of a firm believer i am about Dante being a chronic workaholic. NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT YET BUT literally i do not think they need to sleep/they cannot sleep/gets little to no sleep at all and instead spends all their time up night reviewing battle plans and rewatching past battles on their little PDA. its a combination of anxiety and wanting to step up as a better manager (if we take into account of limbus players dissecting the gameplay meta of EGOs and ids we can literally translate that into Dante pouring over how to better manage the sinners). god forbid them from stepping out of line due to personal feelings bc they a) do not want to piss off vergilius and risk his wrath b) do not want to piss off vergilius bc they respect him (and like him) as a coworker, a boss, a color fixer and their guide too much. they are the EPITOME of professionalism. their work and responsibilities as a manager COMES FIRST

Vergilius too, you put it into words on him as a person. Literally he doesnt think he deserves it AND he doesnt have the time for that shit (for real verg in canon seems to really hate ppl wasting his time over trivial shit). i think even theres some distance between him and charon but he mostly crosses the space bc he's too guilt bound to deny charon some form of connection (bc it is his fault in the first place), so he is soft to her and her only.

it's like watching two parallel lines running along each other and no matter how close they get they will NEVER touch ever. ISNT THAT A TRAGEDY???

but its not all angst, they at least find a little light in the situation. verg would come to appreciate how dante respects him and his circumstances and would be pleased that they are like-minded enough to keep things professional between them, so he is comfortable in confiding in dante on certain topics (in canto 2 where verg and dante stands together by the side to watch the sinners get their ass peeled and verg telling dante why they should experience it for once lives rent free in my head bc he actually bothered to explain to dante wauhgshfh). he admits that dante is the only sinner that he can have a convo with. he fucking told dante to not befriend him after sharing a little history on charon. dante would appreciate the little moments they get to spend with him

just brief pockets of time with each other, despite everything. i like to think they are both the kind of ppl who would accept that things are just not meant to be, so they will take what little they can (what little they're allowed).

in the grand scheme of lcb and the city they are both nothing but a pair of pawns trying to make the best of their situation without getting in the way. they have no choice.

and to come across another who understands this is a rare, rare gem in their crapsack world, so how can we blame them for having a little bit of pining among the acceptance. mutual respect blooming into requited love that is unable to be acted upon. a divine comedy in its own right. im going to kms

[neolxzr]

if you wanna yap more about the au id love to hear btw!! and can't wait to see the little comics if out post them :D

OK PERHAPS JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE ...

(revision after i wrote everything. it was not a little bit)

i imagine it all starts off where till is off doing his normal cryptid hunting things in the woods on like a friday evening and happens to catch a glimpse of sua and ivan outside of a spaceship in the middle of the woods. he watches one of them transform into their human form from a far distance, and manages to snap a singular blurry photo. the flash goes off and gives away his location, though, so he instinctually runs off before he can see more

(btw, the disguises don't change their clothes, only their body. the human clothes are real. although they were probably synthesized through weird alien technology or they stole them not 100% sure yet)

cut to monday, he's in class, and one of his teachers introduces two new students who have just transferred to their school from some unspecified other country. till is immediately like THATS THE ALIEN I SAW BEFORE and the two of them also talk strangely and have some weird device attached to their ears. he calls them out for being aliens, in front of the entire class, very embarrassingly, though of course this gets him nowhere.

i dont have like this ENTIRELY planned out at the moment but pretty quickly the main 4 settle into a sort-of friend group. mizi is incredibly friendly and befriends the two new students immediately, and till reluctantly spends as much time as possible with the two of them out of wanting to protect her and keep an eye on them for possible funny business. mizi doesnt NOT believe till that ivan and sua are aliens, but she befriends them anyway. till and ivan immediately settle into the type of relationship the two of them had in anakt canonically---they're constantly bickering and probably getting into fights in the hallway.

as much as mizi and till are best friends, mizi is quite the busy gal. she's always involved with school events and is in multiple clubs so she's only free during lunch about twice a week, of which she always spends with till. the rest of the week, till spent that time alone until the aliens showed up. he doesn't think about it for a while but eventually realizes that maybe theyre not so bad to have around. till's mom tells him after a few months of having them around that he seems happier. he's not sure what to think about that

this au is just lighthearted silliness mostly, ivan coming up with (real? fake?) world-conquering schemes to rile up till and get his attention and mizisua slowly developing a very cute romance. some aliens come to earth and accidentally learn how to love.

i think what i settled on for ivan and sua is that they were in fact sent to earth to do some kind of scouting of the planet to see if its worth anything for their crazy conquering alien empire, but they pretty quickly discover that they actually kind of like it there despite all its flaws. they are eventually discovered (by a familiar face maybe?) as being "traitors to the empire" or whatever but itll all end up fine in the end i promise i have no angst bones in my body

if this was like a serialized TV show i would imagine after enough time has passed and its clear the aliens aren't really a threat to mizi or humanity or anything like that till just kind of accepts the fact that theyre here and part of his life and he allows himself to be fascinated by their existence and their technology. ivan shows him his disguise willingly and till probably stares into his eyes which look like tiny galaxies and its pretty gay. if i was a more prolific fic writer the ivantill romance would be such a slowburn

so like assuming this is a tv show like the first season (or maybe even two? idk) of the show would be almost entirely set on earth and then once some big season finale event thing happens they start having adventures in space afterwards. i want mizi and till to get alien disguises at some point i love drawing aliens if that wasnt obvious

OK SORRY this got out of hand i didnt mention everything cuz i wanna have some surprises but thats a bunch of my ideas ^_^

[oexen]

cw hoarding + mentions of animal and child neglect

is it really gonna take me telling my mother its extremely concerning to have PILES of cat waste just. around. in the house

like i know shes going to flip the fuck out at me in some way or another, be very angry or sad or hurt or some secret other option and like. she misgenders and deadnames me as if i never shared the info with her, the crux of our relationship is financial and thats even pretty minimal. like yeah maybe its sincerely not my problem and i KNOW you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped, but i dont want to inherit a cat piss soaked infested brick.... thing. no fucking way dude. that shit realistically probably has to be gutted ngl, its fucking awful. shes a hoarder and never really touched my old bedroom so i have some stuff there, stuff id actually like to take even, but the smell is literally pervasive to the point that books smell like it on the fucking inside.

like shes actually at the point her neckbeard nest doesnt register as a problem to her. even with... another person who is not me having to actually go inside of the house??? i like cannot fathom whats going on inside that god forsaken head of hers, she asked me why i was wearing a mask inside and turned around and walked away before i could even say anything, lmfao.

i couldnt spend more than one night in her house and had a mask on the whole time because it fucking blew so hard to be in there. this fucking idiot got 3 huge WORKING dogs (pyrenees and a burmese mtn dog) because its "in her life plan" (news to me lmao!) and tldr she impulse bought them because theyre cute. shes never fucking home, works 9-5 and theyre crated a lot of the time and its fucking horrible to see, i freaked the absolute fuck out on her when i first heard that she had new puppies like what 2 years ago? fucking neglecting the elderly dogs she already had in favor of getting these for some fucking reason, "no more dogs after this one dies" turns into 3 giant stupid fucking untrained, neglected mistakes. the singular saving grace is that they have a big yard to run around in, but that doesn't do a hell of a lot of good when it's hot and this idiot refuses to walk them when shes home anyway. couldn't possibly be because theyre untrained and will drag her stupid ass down the street fr. i think im going to literallt snail mail the next door neighbor or maybe even both of them because like.... what the actual fuck is she doing with these dogs. GET HELP.

ive been telling this absolute knob for YEARS she needs to chill out and do something else (like 3 of her closest blood relatives died in the past several years, 2 of which she was literally caretaking, and she still volunteers at a fucking hospice and has NEVER SOUGHT BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING, LET ALONE COUNSELING IN GENERAL), she keeps saying shes fucking fine and we have LITERALLY had the exchange where she says it to my face and i gesture around and say CLEARLY!!!!!

Anyway. the dogs. shes going to get worse and i know it and im just so disgusted by the prospect of having to like lay it all out probably because no one else will, and i guess i care because its literally affecting me, i sat and wrote all this because im cleaning stuff i took from her house like books and SEALED ITEMS THAT ALSO SMELL LIKE CAT PISS ON THE INSIDE OF THE PACKAGING????????? and got triggered. but whatever. this woman treated me like shit and neglected me for my entire childhood and turns it around and goes WHATDIEVERDOTOYOU if i so much as refuse a hug even this far down the line, its been nearly 10 years since ive lived with her, and like. holy fuck. and she doesnt have a single fucking clue lol like idk its also just like pathetic and sad to see a person go through this, even though she gives me mmmm essentially nothing but feelings of disgust when i really think about it. its just fucked and everyones dying or doesnt care or doesnt feel like they can say anything and im like. idk. i could literally bring this up to lots of people she knows, i could find a damn way, but like yaknow..... it fucking sucks so hard to have to do all this bc this woman is literally severely mentally ill and needs a fucking hand but it sure as shit isnt going to be mine, at least not physically. god.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

ep 51-52 spoilers but i gotta get the thoughts out man (also some for ep 2 of the black rose pirates oneshot)

ok so im going to do it all at once but like the amount of times i panicked with gill and shit over things like the moment the arm was mentioned i KNEW it was jon and how gillion risked so much to save him

(imagine a world where gillion didnt make it and slowly froze to death and was comforted by the ideas of jay and chip making it yet felt ashamed and disappointed as he couldn't save jon or pretzel and on the other side it could be either jay or chip wanting to stay longer and trying to get them back or them both just sobbing at the door because gills fucking dead and- i should stop hurting me emotionally huh)

back to what actually happened im so happy they all ended up fine and shit and id help gill with a villain arc if they did both die (both being jon and pretzel)

more about gillion its just something with how his "insult" wasnt really an insult but rather something he believed that he knew would hurt chip. something how grizzly also used the word sin for dark secret and then gillion talks how he got banished and he probably was very nervous about it going south yet they thought his punching of the navy was kickass.

the fact that gillion hugged jay thinking she was his sister is so sweet yet i could tell from the beginning that edyn wasnt real. i just got the sense for pain man

take gill giving chip a ring and him getting flustered about it whatever way ya want, im just thinking how fucked hed be if jay and chip did indeed fight each other (also you cant tell me that he wasnt taught it by his sister and his test was pretzel who knew how dangerous it could have been yet he could tell she wanted to bond it and so gill has a ring on him somewhere and they pretend that the magic is still in effect and it makes them even closer then before)

chip was a fucking bastard with the whole secret pressuring thing, and grizzly knew. and he used it to fuck up their friendship harder. making the people chip cares for the most (which btw thats so fucking cute writing bout that next) attack him and having someone jay cares about attack someone she also cares about maybe even more while giving gill such a tame one is grizz's plan. worst part is gillion would be used to them teasing each other so he may brush the growing hatred off as just something human friends do. GOD GRIZZLY WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT THIS

theres something sweet about bizly telling grizz the people chip cared for the most was jay and gillion because it sounds like he didn't mention arlin, implying chip cares for gillion and jay more then arlin and thats beautiful.

my heart hurts seeing the idea of chip having such bad trust issues and wondering if these guys actually care for him yet he pulls up the wall with insults manned and ready just so that he doesn't need to accept that people he cares about exist and doesn't need to worry about them going away and i made myself pain again AHHHHHHHH

i remember seeing a post about jay being an easy crier and how it doesnt make her any less a girlboss and i fully heartedly agree because aprt of her girlbossness she can acknowledge her barriers and when shit crosses the line and she doesnt hide it up and maybe that inspires chip and gill to be more open about their boundaries and emotions and ill stop before i make more pain but yeah def proven by the flesh room

i dont know if anyone else made the comparison but yall know when finn arlin and dray were going down the hallway and each got flashbacks and shit? the mirages were probs a reference and it was the same order too (charlie, bizly, then condi) and i freaked when i realized!

of course jon is what got gillion pumped up and bsck to his gill self because theyre gay af guys

that ring thing between gill and chip was so fucking gay omfg i hope they keep them happy pride month

the fact that gill just had to be in the middle of chip and jay fighting and idk why i do this to me but maybe he felt bad cause of the shit he said cause while jay and chip said a ton of things and they did feel bad a bit what if gillion felt like he had fucking sinned with this insult because of how bad chip seemed to feel and he just cant help but feel like he helped and all that and god how let me be a fan fic writer

okay comfort for me now (its poly pirates i love them ok) but since gill believed jay enjoyed the clown outfit (plus she mentiondd that she gave up on her dreams) he ends up trying to make one and hes a lil nervous but he asks chip for help and jay just finds them in the room with gill practicing sowing as chip helps him make a clown outfit and jay just is mesmerized by how hard gillion is trying and how chip is just so calm with him and they seem as though this is one of the most important tasks of their lives (for chip its more of making gill happy by helping him learn to sow) and after a bit jay goes back up and what do you know 1 or 2 hours later jay is given a wrapped box by gill who seems very excited and ahe opens it and finds the clown outfit chip helped make and she glances up to see chip give gill a thumbs up and wink and she smiles and tears up at how much effort they spent into making this

more poly pirates comfort coming next post but its really just gonna be writing fanfic ideas that i WILL make after i write a couple moee chapters of my scu fic

[skyeateyourdonuts]

wait wait wait. some ppl thought azira was ooc for the end s2?? as if it doesnt make complete sense??? and also i actually have issues with most of the theories bc to me it just seems like metatron (a) was in the right position, (b) had the right words, (c) exuded the exact amount of pressure all to get azira to agree like!!! its a manipulation tactic!! he was almost guaranteed to get the angel on board.

to aziraphale tho i think he has a plan. i think theres more things hes contemplating in that elevator than we realize Including that maybe he felt betrayed that crowley didnt trust him?? that crowley wasnt seeing how They could manipulate heaven into both stopping the second coming and changing the system for the better. like just think about it they always make plans to solve things and get each other out of trouble and crowley solved the biggest mystery of s2 so why didnt he trust aziraphale to solve the Next big mystery aka the second coming?? and im not aaying this as me bc they were miscommunicating but i think that was just one of many thoughts azira had in that elevator

"you wont help me ..? :(.... Fine. >:( I can do it myself."

aziraphales priorities by the end of the gabriel conflict are metatron and heaven and where he stands and how theyve been wrong and messed up and how that can change

crowleys priorities are by the end pf the gabriel conflict are talking to aziraphale and sealing the deal that they choose each other.

theyre just on different pages and tho crowley is fully done with heaven and hell and doesnt even want to bother with them anymore, aziraphale does. and not in the "i trust u" way bc i think he doesnt Trust anyone from heaven but he is Fucking Scared!!! of everyone up there and the Ineffable Plan™ and i gotta be honest the solved s1 but it doesnt mean heaven and hell werent gonna try again??

idk im not against either of them and the things they decided to focus on and i just want them to communicate and i have hope that in s3 aziraphale succeeds in stopping the second coming but that he gets some form of help from crowley and thus they have a chance to rlly talk it out and make up <3

* id also like to add that im proud of them for trying to communicate for the first time!! no it didnt go well and yes they resorted to some things that probably hurt one another but that means they have so much room for improvement!!! u make a mistake once, u think it over, and then u know how to solve that situation the right way!! thats just trial and error its how relationships work <3

[cardistrymagic]

MI7 spoilers (my long rant)

extremely religious takes on the enemy lmao. i think because i'm a sucker for tech being used in spy movies that the airport scene was my favourite. 1. ethan not being found through the cctv- what a fun intro! 2. benji with the bomb- nice to see him do something...( i mean you made me think him running in the airport trailer scene was important 🙄)

IMF team: luther talked more than he has in other movies and i demand more. thanks. i kinda wish they'd use the team more ig. because they are literal field agents so they can fight? i hope? and the whole train scene benji was just gone like waiting thinking "wow he should be here by now" like LET HIM DO SOMETHING!!!

the fact that the entity has control over lots of techy stuff so benji n luther cant really do much??? makes me sad. like let them talk to each other :( i like the gadgets. i liked the little banter luther n benji had.

lastly- the scene where ethan jumps off the cliff- only women are in his flashbacks?? like i thought we'd established the IMF team as his. family lowkey y'know. it was just like okay...

in venice: white widow wasnt bad i guess. the benji dupe voice- love how it played on ethan's loyalty! i think it showed well how dangerous the enemy was- but for some reason i'm still more afraid of the past villain- lane, due to the many examples and horrors he's actually committed. ig im not into the blue ai enemy.

grace: my one thing is that i get that she might have had to be brought into the team to be safe BUT compared to ilsa, she is a pickpocket. a crime commiter at best. she is not at the level of a field agent (unless plot armour??) . not much fighting skills. to me she's kinda a liability. not to mention her constantly running away like. i was endeared to her at the airport because of her confidence. i get that maybe she becomes aware of the world-threatening shitshow she's been dragged into unwillingly but still. idk if she's cut out for the job. compared to ilsa a literal ex-agent with ties to MI6. even on the goddamn train she didnt really trust ethan YOU almost DIED?! if not for the plot armour of ethan parachuting into the carriage. girl literally almost killed him by handcuffing him to the car like very funny he just saved your life. literally not trusting ethan on the piano scene What? i dont care thats shes a orphan you've literallly been through so much. with ethan.

one second she's like not able to do much besides throwing a key around. on the other hand she can fight knife to knife with a super skilled killer (gabriel) like what? a citizen thrown into stuff out of her league-driving a car (she cant) playing a good white widow (id forgive her for never doing this ever) and the train (ok thats fine) like i just dont see the value of her being in the team besides being able to play. a woman? which im sure the og team could do to be honest. . can grace shoot a gun?

btw i feel like her relationship w/ ethan moves so fast?

grace: i dont trust you. i will let the police capture you. you saved my life but im still running!! i messed your plans up (sorry)

ethan:( holds her face) my life is worth less than yours.

What is this intimacy??affection idk closeness? i know ethan is a loyal guy but???

villain: dark messiah. death as a gift. ghost. ai. gabriel (angel wow) i love more religious imagery. the flashback was like a decent window into ethan lore BEFORE imf (oooo) but i just dont really get what gabriel wants? the entity is messing shit up already. and gabriel seems to already work with it (comms faked in venice) i assume that ethan is a variable the entity needs to eliminate but just kill him? hahaha? gabriel probably likes seeing ethan suffer but compared to lane's stuff i'm not really. amused. (ethan literally has nightmares about lane)

also paris i didnt even know if they ever said her name? she was angry and dressed up and had some rabid dog scenes (like go girl) but i hope she does more in the next part! like the part where she holds up ethan and grace with a stab wound (woah. strong)

other stuff: the dutch angles being used in like 50% of the shots like CALM DOWN i love the mi:1 references but were they always so disorieting maybe im just getting old

the scenes? ilsa dies and ethan looks a bit distressed. the scene where they're hugging was so like woah okay but felt really like. shoved in there like. Okay yeah something bad is gonna happen to her 😭😭

in the end, rogue nation + ghost protocol are still my #1s. characters like brandt and ilsa had really interesting backgrounds and fit into the IMF team easily- the films centering around their teamwork is why i got so into MI in the first place. grace doesn't offer any like addition i dont think she can even bicker with the team for funsies (like brandt/ilsa) . she's not cool shes a poor girl that didnt know what she was getting into 😭

things i did like:

action scenes. awesome((besides the lack of luther and benji there)) ilsa being awesome in the desert

the cinematography (beautiful. as always.)

everyone in suits ( lawyer ethan. benji. )

thanks for reading and feel free to yell at me about your thoughts!!!!!

[lovestrucksuggestion]

hey, sorry if this is too much or smth, but i really don't wanna tell anything to my friends i fearike it'd be "too real" AND OBVIOUSLY I WANT IT TO BE REAL BUT, i don't know, i feel like i'll jinx or fuck it up somehow if i tell it;;

hello, again, okay so, a few weeks back we had this thesis project 6 per group and ive had converstaions w all of them except for 1.

by this point i was lamenting over a past love, we werent necessarily together since we were like, idk 14 or smth when it happened and its been 7 years, we kinda drifted apart after graduation since i thought 'it wouldnt last anyway' and i kept rejecting their advances for a year or two, but i still liked them;;; anyway back in 2020 we got in touch again and i told them that i still liked them and i was just dumb and all that and they seemed to return my advances and ofc i asked if they were comfortable and not just going w the flow yknow and they said yes so.

i confessed and they said not yet cause of school stuff but they do like me still and so i said id wait, THEN it was all okay since we joke and all that but they always seem to reject when i ask them directly about us or like even just to meet up or smth, and ofc i get it so i try not to bother them too much until valentine's rolls in and they post smth on ig with them and their friends and theres this girl with a solo shot of her being goofy and smiling and i just.

idk i took it as a sign to stop since he always used to do that w me before so yeh.

and then like with school i just got lost in all it and directed every ounce of my passion so we finished some stuff quite early, theres only 2 big ones of them we needed to do so a member suggested to split the work between us six. one of thems easier than the other so i got grouped with the guy i havent talked to, kinda scared abt it but all was fine. i added him (lets call him graham) on facebook so we could talk in messenger about planning what to do and all that, then after i found that he's friends with another group member who happened to be someone im close with, kinda AND they messaged me so i asked whats up cause i thought it was abt the project and they reply with smth along the lines of "nothing, graham's just rlly overjoyed since u addrd him cause he likes u" AND IM WHAT CAUSE IM P SURE WEVE NEVER MET then he follows it up w "ure his type, smart and hardworking" AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO TELL THAT IM A FALSE ADVERTISEMENT CAUSE IM RLLY NOT ALL THAT AND IM SCARED OF DISAPPOINTING ANYONE

anyway they let it be and i didnt think much of it cause maybe theyre just messing around yknow so nothing much happened, we finished the project and everything's all right until we were grouped for another thing through our society/club whatevr and i was kinda nervous since its my first time meeting them and everything was fun actually turns out it was graham's bday last tuesday so i greeted him and we joked a bit cause wednesday's the club thingy, i didnt even know what he looked like since his pfp's from when he was a kid

wednesday rolls in and im in the library with a friend, a mutual friend of ours and he said hello to me and i was so happy somehow??? I DONT REALLY GET IT MYSELF I USUALLY TAKE SO LONG TO ACCLIMATIZR TO SOMEONE BUT LIKE THE CLUB THINGY WENT WELL AND WE WERE JOKING BY THE END OF THE DAY AND I JUST, i think i like him as well?? he even asked to take a picture with me he seemed so nervous i wanted to hug him I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ITD BE OUR WHOLE GROUP IN THE CLUB but it turns out it wasnt so !!!!!!

thursday comes and we messaged a bit (he chatted first, abt the thesis) we were in a seminar and i was a bit late that day so i was at the back and our other classmates r upfront w him so never really met, until a friend of mine and i were going home and we MET THEM ON THE TRAIN ISTG MY HEART WAS JUMPING UNTIL I GOT HOME SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT WHILE WALKING

okay sorry but like, tldr, im a bit afraid that i only "like" him cause he liked me first, yknow after i waited for the previous person and evrything for so long and receiving little to nothing ++ i think his expectation of me's kinda high im neither smart nor hardworking im just anxious all the time so i have to do my work quick or else i'll die and some part of me's still doubting his feelings for me as just a prank cause nsjdhbf idk im not really pretty too so whats up why is this happrning but he's so fucking cute (generally) and i am falling as well and im scared cause we'd be graduating in a year so what if this also doesnt end quite well and i end up losing a friend?

i kinda also wanna just come up to him and invite him for a date but yeh :( and yesterday my phone died and i was stoked to meet him but he wasnt at uni so i was kinda sad then i find out the previous person i like messaged me and idk they were kinda flirty and i feel bad if i leave them again cause ive done it once and i was only left with regrets so what if im just repeating history aaaa its so hard to like manage everything too if graham and i somehow manage to be together im not great at balancing things what if i let him slip away or smth

again sorry for this i just wanted to know what other people think i really wanna shoot my shot at the same time i feel like im a people pleaser so yknow what if im just doing this cause of attention or smth idk huhu thanks in adavmce if u answer this but no hatd feelings if u dont thank u boo

Hello, you seem very stressed out! Please take several deep breaths, put on some calming music and remember that none of this is life or death.

First of all, you're right to let this past love go, it's simply not in the cards and I'm proud of you for recognizing that. Throw the whole man away, if he makes you feel bad(even if he's not doing it on purpose!) you don't need that drama.

I'm not going to diagnose you with anything over the internet, especially not based on one interaction, but I will say that in this ask specifically, you are exhibiting pretty high levels of anxiety and worry that it might be good to speak to a professional about. Your university should have free mental health services, if you have insurance you can call and ask what providers they cover, and failing that, there are many therapists and psychiatrists who offer sliding scale coverage for low income patients.

Alright, now that's done, what needs to happen here is something that I know you will not like, but is pretty much mandatory-you need to have a conversation with Graham. It's okay if it turns out you only like that he's interested in you, and when you get to know him you're less into him. You're not asking him to marry you after all. It's also okay if you're not smart or funny or hardworking (I think you're being too hard on yourself, but even so, it's okay).

If you talk with him and express your interest, you can set a boundary on how you like to be complimented(i.e., low pressure compliments that don't comment on your abilities) and specify if you want something casual just to see how you vibe. Even if you graduate, you might stay together, or you might not. You definitely won't know unless you try.

Also, who cares if you want attention???? you're human, that's totally natural. You're not gonna go to Needy Jail for it.

All that to say:

go to therapy

figure out what you want (in general and from Graham specifically. You can do this in therapy)

stop talking to past love

start talking to Graham about what you want

remember that even if things end up less than ideal, it's okay

[fakeangellsism9]

This is a vent blabla who cares

God I am SO lonely and everytime I’m reminded of this simple fact it feels like I’ve been stabbed and made to drink rat poison it’s just this unbearable pit in the bottom of my stomach and it drives me insane to put it blankly I’ve never told anyone this nor plan too because I realize how insane I sound but sometimes it gets to the point where I’m like in my head talking to this girl that I’ve been in love with since middle school and I still know her ofc, she knows that I like her and she’s flirted with me in recent and I don’t think she quite knows how much that fucks with my head because I know it’s never going anywhere she doesn’t like me that way she never has I got sidetracked but I talk to her in my head as if she were right in front of me full conversations and I struggle to drag myself out of it sometimes idk when it started or why I do it

I do the same with my own friends sometimes arguments whatever conversations literally anything I know it’s like weird and probably really creepy but I just like can’t seem to stop my brain id say it’s intrusive but I’d be lying if I said I didnt also entertain it sometimes idk

It’s worse because I don’t just feel lonely relationship wise I feel completely and utterly alone and unlovable I saw this reel (I know don’t bully me) and it said something that resonated with me so extremely

It was something along the lines of “I don’t think people understand how much not being in a relationship during your teen years really effects your brain” like I was alone the entirety of my developmental years and it definitely did make me feel horrible and all these terrible things that I’m unlovable and ugly and undesirable undeserving of anyone or anything and I still feel like that I’m only 18 and I know there’s plenty of fish in the sea or whatever and that someone out of the 8 billion people is my person but it’s never felt that way

This girl that I love and she surely has to know that I love her because I told her and she told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship which is fine that perfectly reasonable but here’s where I start to lose that understanding we ofc didn’t talk much after I did that and made things weird between us because ofc I would and maybe a year or less goes by and we start talking again because I joined this thing that apparently she also joined it’s awkward but we end up talking again and end up just being the bestest of pals she’s sort of flirty with me reading off countless pickup lines and just being that way I try and reciprocate it to the best of my ability and it never felt like she wanted me to her response to me was usually silence and raised eyebrow that’s not how it was always she still did go along with it quite a few times but that’s all it ever felt like her just going along with it she mentioned something to me first day of us meeting again “you know I don’t want to be alone forever right” and I said “yeah, neither do I” the last day I saw her it was the last of our little program thing and she walks me to the school like she had done every single day with me and we find out to actually enroll into the college we needed this other thing blabla we walk back to the college after getting it and I start cramping really bad and I just say “I think I’m just gonna get my parents to pick me up from here” and she said ok and looked kinda down idk I didn’t break eye contact with her once and she kept going to say something and eventually just gave up and said goodbye I still wonder what she wanted to say and that was last time I saw her

I’ve been begging and crying to whatever higher power there is to just bring us together again I don’t care if she doesn’t want me I just want to talk to her like we used too

I get so lonely it feels like I am trapped within my own body desperately trying to claw my way out but there is no way out and I just have to get over it