#posts to delete later

[booping-noses]

i've once again been slacking posting my art lmaoo i'm setting up a queue now

[elokitties]

mark is kinda uncle coded in that pic and for what

[mxanigel]

.

[spikeyjo]

yall saying he should be at the club when you really mean he needs to be at a mosh on all fours

[justobsessedwithvic]

*deep breath* okay. I’m calm now.

*she texts me “hiiii”*

OKAY SO YOU WANT ME NOW HUH AGGHHGG

[anecdotal-acorn]

thinking about Will Swenson's Javert and the banality of evil all by yourself, beautiful?

[sans-the-skeleton-official]

Can't even rewatch breaking bad bc every time lydia is on screen I get a fat fucking boner

[rose---child]

Scene kids (just people in general who are scene ) seem so happy and I envy them, I envy the people who transition and people who are dedicated to their craft and to punks and just

But I envy scene kids because they turn their stress into something positive where I just turn my stress into anxiety, I’m a fraud, a poser, but the punks and scene people are the real deal.

I have no legs to stand on but if I don’t start living for myself then like what’s the point

Tldr I think the scene movement is so cool how they just dress and act how they want to but I’m scared to do anything out of the ordinary

[sm-baby]

GIRL ARE THOSE VISUAL NOVEL BACKGROUNDS???

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[reyenii]

a) charles and edwin’s safe place is their office:

b) this scene was so domestic. charles is wearing his white tank top. edwin is wearing a shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the buttons on his top collar unbuttoned. he’s sitting on the couch in a comfortable pose.

c) but we don’t see anything like this when the boys are in port townsend. they "hide" behind their clothes almost all the time cause this is a new “place” for them which is not safe to be in

[crowkip]

slides u some timkon wip scribbs

[wolfythewitch]

Chomps on him

[justablah56]

ee hee having a time at this lovely 1am , so . vent post ✌️

hmm . thinking about birthdays . my birthday was a few months ago , and I didn't really do anything for it . id planned to go do something but it was never the right time . and it was supposed to be a *big* birthday . my sweet 16 or whatever the fuck . but it just kept getting pushed back and back and back back back until now it's far too late and so I just ... didn't really get a birthday . it's not even like my family doesn't do things for birthdays , it's just that they didn't because I was *supposed* to get something big and then I didn't . idk . currently spiralling because I saw something and was like oh that'd be a fun gift , maybe I can ask for it next birthday and then thought back to this birthday because I didn't really get anything this year . none of the people closest to me did anything . I got money from grand parents and a card from the 3rd graders in the class I used to help out in and fun fanworks from mutuals on here , but like . nothing from my friends or family or any of the people i had kinda hoped would care about me most . and like - this isn't at all to play down the importance of the the things I *did* get , like - cause those literally completely made my day . I just- idk I feel selfish now for wanting more than I got but also just kinda wish someone close to me had noticed or something I don't know . I just kinda thought that maybe *this* birthday wouldve actually been something . that I would've gotten the confirmation I so clearly need that people I care about most actually care about me too and I kinda ... didn't . and like - I know it's kinda my fault , the party was my thing that I was supposed to at least kind of set up but I just wanted all my friends to be able to go and there was conflicting schedules and people didn't actually know when theyd be able to so I said okay that's fine ! just let me know when you can ? and they didn't so I just ... it didn't happen . and now it's around the time of two of my other friends birthdays so I can't just do it now , cause I'd feel like I was taking away from *their* time and just .... idk . I'm having a time guys .

[i-am-a-fish]

GUESS WHO DIDN'T GET THE JOB

ME

BECUASE THE JOB SUCKED BALLS AND THEY WANTED TO PAY ME LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE WORKING OUTSIDE SIX DAYS A WEEK!!!!!!

SO I GOT THE JOB AND SAID NO

I'm on that tgirl egirl grindset

Logically I shouldn't post this because it's incoherent and I'm hyped on caffeine but I have the ability to say words on the internet and I think it's funny to use this power to say that employers SUCK ASS

did you drink water today? If not it's coming

[blumineck]

What's the difference between a rogue and bard? Presentation!

If you like this sort of stuff, please go check out the full video on my YouTube! It took me forever to make and I nearly cried about 4 times during the editing/posting process!

And as always, huge thanks to my Patrons for making this stuff possible!