#like i'm gonna do it but c'mon man
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well fuck. they announced an exclusive edition of the keeper graphic novel, so now I gotta re-preorder it because I've already preordered the normal edition because I didn't know there'd be an exclusive one!
#kotlc#kotlc graphic novel#listen I understand why exclusive editions aren't announced at the same time but like#i think it would be nice if they were#so i didn't have to go back and cancel orders and then place new ones#pretty please#like i'm gonna do it but c'mon man#i get the exclusive perks so its worth it i'm just complaining about first world problems don't mind me
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Egghead chibs lesgooo ✌️✨
#My art#One Piece#OP manga spoilers#Egghead spoilers#I had sticker sheets of these chibs. They sold out at my last convention. Whoops#I'll probably reorder them though for my next convention and whatever I have left over will go on my Ko-Fi shop afterwards#Also yes the Cross Guild chibs also come on this sticker sheet. Because there was room for them#For the record the actual sticker sheet looks like a fucking MESS. I wanted max size but that means organizing them weirdly so they all fit#That Kuma sticker is probably my favorite thing I've ever drawn. Probably. Maybe.#The Loof is very high up there too. IDK why Luffy is so fucking hard to draw but he is so I'm very pleased with his chib#I have reached the ''Do Not Repost watermark'' era of my life it seems#Was gonna have more of those so they'd cover all the fucking chibs so people wouldn't use 'em as profile pics but#I gave up I hate watermarking my work man. Like I don't want to cover shit up when I spent so much time drawing it#But also I hate it when people just grab my shit to use as their profile pics like c'mon man#Anyway yeah the OP Brainrot is still Very Very Real
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Hello!! I followed you for your absolutely amazing Twisted Wonderland comics (thank you for making them, by the way-) but I saw you posting about something called Ride Kamens? I haven’t heard of it before, what’s it about? Or if that’s a bit much to ask, where could I find more info about it? It seems right up my alley 👀
Thank you!
thank you! :> :> :> (this is also for the other anon who asked about where to find it, I am honored to be infecting the world spreading interest in this silly game)
Ride Kamens is still doing prerelease marketing and isn't out yet; it's set for "early summer 2024", so a bit yet to go! similar to Twst, it's a mobile game about anime boys loosely based on an existing franchise (Kamen Rider), although it seems like it's going to be more standalone/won't require familiarity with Rider going in.
the (very) basic premise is that your player character has just taken over their late father's role as a secret agent, supporting the city's superheroes by running a secret base disguised as a cafe (plus you have a personal butler for some reason) (the reason is because it's amazing). you also have to help the heroes regain their lost memories, and it looks like it'll have a bit of a route/choice aspect there (not romance, just different endings to the character episodes depending on what you do). the details are kinda hard to tell at this point but the characters seem like a really fun bunch; there's definitely big "idiots with emotional problems" energy which I am extremely into.
all the official info is in Japanese only at the moment, but here's the website and the ride_kamens twitter! (though the twitter is sort of overtaken by posts about the AnimeJapan exhibit right now, whoops.) and I believe some people are already planning on doing translations for it too? lots to look forward to! :D
#ride kamens#joseimuke games are serious business#this is why like 99% of my posts about it so far have been just 'hey it's that guy' :')#the characters look like fun i'm just waiting to properly meet them!#i suspect they're doing a bit of a reverse-twst where instead of familiarity with the source drawing you into the game#they're aiming to get people into rider via handsome animes#we have officially reached the zany gambit phase of the franchise#honestly i have no idea what the actual quality of the game is going to be but by god am i gonna play it anyway because C'MON#i do think it looks like fun though! based on the op it looks like the villains might be turning people into monsters?#and the chaostones are from space or something WHY NOT#(also i was SO happy to see that there's a background that looks like our old friend the Wireworks and Explosion Factory)#(you made it in! can't wait for a character to dramatically explode in you ❤️)#(man i hope nijigao city is just full of toku landmarks)#(round up all the boys for a field trip to the local quarry surely nothing will go wrong there)
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Phil: Doin' a lot of traveling around the New Years. Oh boy, oof. Oh golly, oh gee. But it should be worth it! It should be really good. I'm looking forward to it, Kristin's looking forward to it.
Random Chatter: What about Tallulah and Chayanne?
Phil: I told them already what's going on. I already told them. They already know when I'm getting back and all that stuff, so.
Random Chatter: The cookies though?
Phil: [Shrugs] So? I'm... physically not here? [Laughs] There's more things - there's more important things in life than feeding a virtual egg cookies, I'm sorry to say, dude. [Laughs]
Random Chatter: Get Tubbo to feed eggs cookies.
Phil: [Laughs and mimics the chatter in an annoying voice] "Get this person!" "Get that person!" ALSO IGNORING THOSE PEOPLE ALSO HAVE LIVES! Jesus Christ. That says a lot about what you think of your streamer. Oh my god, dude. Let them have a fcking week off man! Let the Eggs have a week off, you kidding me? They're people, too, they're admins!
Random Chatter: The eggs need to live.
Phil: They do! By having a week off! [Laughs] Leave them alone! Holy fck! Good lord... If I- if- Dude. If anyone in my chat is genuinely like gonna come into stream, and like - be pissed off that different members of QSMP are just not logging in, I'm banning you on the spot, 'cuz that is so fcking toxically online of you. That is SO chronically online of you. You need to take a break, and I'm giving you that break. I'm forcing you to take a break from your PC. Fckin' get up from the - look away from the screen.
#Philza#Phil#QSMP#For real though it's WILD that some people genuinely have that mentality#People forget that the ccs need breaks and so do the Eggs!#many of whom are in college#and hell even if they weren't#they still need a break!#Plus it's the holidays#Context for this conversation in case it wasn't clear: Phil was talking about leaving for the holidays and said others will be too#and some random chatters got annoying spamming about the Eggs and saying they'll die#I didn't catch this live but I'm watching the VOD#Idk. QSMP is almost a year old and people still get worried about the same stupid stuff#''The eggs are gonna die! No one will take care of this specific Egg unless I spam their name in chat 100000 times!''#''Nobody cares about my fave and clearly I know better than actual members of the server''#Like. c'mon man be serious#Everyone loves the Eggs#I feel like a lot of fans really do need to unplug and remember that it's not that serious#and this is coming from someone who bawled their eyes out at Bobby's death#real ass people's lives matter more. Let them take a break#Q's said so many times that they Eggs matter and he wouldn't just kill them all off for the hell of it#anyhoo#December 25 2023#Q#Subtitles#Edited
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i’m still working on it but uh. my relaxation from my hobby (making a fanfic comic) is to do more things with my hobby (drawing another sona comic. because of course it is.)
ANYWAY anyone else super hyped for the graphic novel?? like holy shit, new official danny phantom content in 2023, and it includes TUE?? wicked.
#ney’s art#ney’s comics#danny phantom#it’s related i swear#sona art#i keep saying i'm not going to do daily uploads bc it burns me out#and then right when i SAY THAT my motivation skyrockets immediately#which is hilarious and also very inconvenient#c'mon man... my hand is gonna die :'D#like the comics style i use now is less strenuous than rending—but that means i can make more pages lmaoo ;;#bah i guess i'll just take advantage of the rush while i got it
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api's got chores in the morning :)
[+ a smaller doodle :3]
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#traditional art#doodles#cat cup#drew these with one of those jumbo crayons and OOuuughhhh#i have never ever liked drawing with crayons ever since i was a wee babe but also OUUU this was really good and fun hbsh :D#my fingers were lighty waxy by the end of it cuz somebody peeled off the wrapper bfshv#that's texture though ! ! ! Ough !!!#i think i like jumbo crayons now. little regular crayons are being given some grace here but they've got some work to do loll#//also funkin rip to the yellow text on tumblr i know it's been dead on desktop for a minute but every time i go to look for it i am#disappointed lmfsvh#you are missed yellow text o7 o7#//anyway i like the clouds :3#i don't usually draw them like that so they turned out kinda nice!!#i need to work on my trees though dear lird kghfjshhgks oTL#why is nature always kicking my azz like c'mon man i'm just standing here#//but YEA i gotta eat rn so i'm gonna walk away.. and off... into the abyss that looks suspiciously like only a room filled with balloons#ciaaaaoder :3 :33#!!
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Unspeakably disappointed to hear that Dan is catching it for the catboy photos. They were silly and fun! (and a little bit sexy) And after all the hell that he's received over the years, I thought people would be better than this.
#I was afraid that with them being more open. People would push boundaries too far and be too invasive#But I hadn't thought people would just...be mean#Maybe that's too naive of me but I thought people would be kind to a person they had watched and loved#and were now seeing beautifully blossom#Anyway#I saw your cat ears#Daniel Howell#I thought they were cute 💕 🐱#Dan and Phil#Chit-chat#I'm not gonna get all into the discourse after this but c'mon man! I thought we loved Dan and liked catboys?! I know I do
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sigh.
#the leant thing turned out to just be a regional thing but i'm pretty sure this one's just wrong#boss'. not boss's. i know english is hard but c'mon man#the worst typos are the ones where im like. i learned this in 2nd grade what do you MEAN its in a game by a major publisher#i've already committed to preserving other typos in the name of accuracy so i guess boss's is gonna stay too
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"I saw a post that said 'X' and I thought 'so true!'"
ok then reblog it and add 'so true!' in the tags lol
#(1) it doesn't matter obviously#and (2) i'm just gonna assume you were either blocked by OP or tumblr search was terrible; but#(3) c'mon that's a boring post to make. at least go all in and pretend it's an original post#like i had a colleague who once launched into a bit that was directly from a tumblr post#he had no fucking shame about it. 30 year old man lifting wholecloth from the gay little website#be as brazen as that guy if you're gonna do it#haarping on
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one of these days there'll be a scolding anti-gpt post that doesn't begin with "emails" and then maybe I'll reblog it. because man, I agree with the scold, but "smarmy bullshit you don't respect" is like, the solidly reasonable normal-person use case. gpt the shit out of a cover letter[ first draft], who are we even kidding
#I guess there are some people with email jobs who actually think the email is useful#the emails *I send* are useful but they're also two sentence questions#I actually think that plumber who used early AI to write emails to customers was doing it exactly right#'change the tone of this sentiment' seems totally fine at that level of detail tbqh#anyway I also sincerely think that if we could agree on the normie use case of 'smarmy bullshit I don't respect'#we'd advance the cause of Cut That Shit Out What's Wrong With You#is fanfic thus? is art thus? I realize some of you think schoolwork is but I'm gonna need you to own it on those terms explicitly. etc#you want a recipe from the Smarmy Bullshit machine or you wanna crack open a cookbook like it's your life but c'mon man
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...and in the next fic, she gets him this patch for his battle vest.
C'mon, It's Just One Night (Part 2)
Summary: After getting a fake love note in your locker, you ask Eddie to help you mess up some bullies plans.
Tags: Eddie Munson x Reader, smut later, fem reader, reader wears a dress at one point, mentions of bullying, actual bullying, three-shot
Master List
3.8k Words
Part 1
You and Eddie didn’t talk about the plan again until the night of Homecoming. Most of the chats you had about what was going to happen tonight was about the secret show that Corroded Coffin was going to do right after the dance.
Honestly, you had heard a few kids quietly whispering about the show, which surprised you. You wondered how many people were interested in the music versus wanting to see the Freak and his band play. After all, Corroded Coffin only really played The Hideout on Tuesdays, which wasn’t exactly the best time slot for high schoolers.
It was about a half hour before the dance was supposed to start, and you had spent the whole day distracted. You kept reading that stupid note over and over again, and anyone watching you would think that you were just excited about a secret date. The truth was that you hoped that the note would somehow give you any sort of clue about what was planned for you when you made your way into the gym that night.
You’d convinced the rest of Hellfire to try and gather any information on what was going to happen, but no one came back with any information. Even Lucas, who was a jock, couldn’t get any information from anyone.
Maybe this would be a Carrie situation.
Having telekinetic powers could be cool though.
You stared hard at the brush on your desk that night, trying to make it move with your mind. Nothing happened.
It might not have moved because as you were glaring at your brush, a knock came at your bedroom door. It was your mom, wanting you to come outside and take photos of you in your outfit. And yeah, you were a little excited to do that after all the work that you had put into looking this nice for a fifteen minute bit. It wouldn’t hurt to have proof that you looked good tonight.
You stood up and smoothed out your dress before walking outside into the front yard as your mom called out that she’d be out there in a second as she grabbed the camera.
You didn’t expect anyone else to be outside, but when you stepped out the door you were greeted with the sight of someone standing on the porch.
It was Eddie.
Eddie Munson.
His hair was freshly washed and his waves were framing his face perfectly. His leather jacket had been discarded for the night and he was wearing a dark gray button-up shirt that looked almost black with the top two buttons undone. The closest you’d ever seen him wear a button up were a few flannels that he wore in the fall and winter. His jeans looked... they looked new. New and dark blue with no holes in them to be seen. The only pieces of his outfit that you recognized were his rings and his reeboks. The twilight had cast a near purple haze over your neighborhood, and Eddie... Eddie looked good in that fading light.
“Holy shit.” You said, after staring at him like an idiot for a moment. “Who are you and what have you done with Eddie?”
“Ha Ha.” Eddie fake laughed. “I could say the same about you.”
You felt your cheeks grow warm, unsure if that was a compliment or not. “I... You look good.” you said more genuinely.
This caused Eddie to shift slightly on his feet. “You look better.”
You could have died on the spot.
“Wait, what are you doing here?” you asked. “I thought we were meeting up at the school?”
“You’re coming to the show with me after this anyway.” Eddie explained. “It’d be easier if I just drove both of us. We can still pretend that we didn’t meet up, I can drop you off at the school where no one will see us together and I’ll follow you inside after a few minutes.”
That made sense, you were going to be helping out with set up after the dance anyway.
“You might have made a mistake coming out here to pick me up, you know.” you said. “My mom will be out here in about two minutes and if she sees you, she’s going to make us take cheesy photos together.”
“I can humor your mom for a few minutes for this.” Eddie shrugged. “Besides, I owe her for being such a loyal customer.”
You stared at him. “Eddie... what do you mean by that?”
He gave you that trademark shit-eating grin, the one that he often used during club when he knew he was about to royally piss everyone off.
“How else do you think I was able to buy new jeans?” he asked, his brown eyes shining in the lingering twilight.
“Eddie Munson, you motherfucker, do not tell me that you sell drugs to my own mother-”
Speak of your mother, and she shall appear with a smile and a camera in hand. You were going to have a long talk with Eddie later about boundaries and selling weed to your mother, even though you knew it wouldn’t change anything.
Your mom quickly ushered you to take some solo pictures of you, and Eddie stood behind her watching with amusement as you awkwardly posed in the way you had seen in some teen magazine that you’d browsed when waiting in line at the grocery store. You felt stiff and awkward until Eddie started making faces behind your mom’s back that had you breaking out into a fit of giggles. He was totally going to give you shit for this later, but you knew he’d have his moment in the spotlight in a moment as well.
Eddie was next up, but somehow he had no problem casually posing and smiling for your mom’s camera. Asshole.
Then the couple’s pictures came and your mom made it clear exactly how she had wanted you two to pose. Eddie didn’t even hesitate wrapping his arm around your waist and holding your hand.
For a few moments, you forgot what was supposed to happen that night. In this moment, you could really believe that you were going on a date with your best friend, and that he was holding your hand because he wanted to, not just because he was being forced to because of a favor. Eddie had always been a good actor, and you thought that if he wasn’t such a metal-and-D&D nerd, he could have been great in the theater department.
Eddie really was a storyteller at heart. In music, in Dungeons and Dragons, in his doodles, the way he played up his Freak persona, and in this moment with his arms settled on your hips and his head on your shoulder. If Eddie wanted to captivate with a story, he could.
It’s a shame that a story was all this was.
Once the two of you were finally released from the watchful eye of your moms camera, Eddie led you to his van. He opened the passenger seat door for you, and even helped you into your seat as if he were a real gentleman. You didn’t think anyone had ever done that for you before.
“So... is there a plan for how we’re going to do this?” you asked. “We haven’t really talked about how this is going to happen.”
“What time is your secret admirer supposed to show up?” Eddie asked, the sound of his mixtape crackling through the air.
“7:30.”
“Then you’ll go in about five minutes early, stand in the middle of the gym, and at 7:30 I’ll burst in, sweep you off your feet, and then we can blow this joint.” Eddie said.
“I could use a joint.” you sighed, looking out the window as reality came back. You weren’t a princess, and this wasn’t a fairytale. Eddie was only doing this as a favor, nothing more.
“I’ll let you have one after we set up for the show.” He promised, pulling his van up to behind the school where no one was going to be dropped off for the dance. “I’ll see you inside in five minutes.”
You gave him a nod. “See you on the other side, Freak.”
You slipped to the entrance of the gym, and walked towards the booth where you presented your homecoming ticket. Homecoming had started at 7 pm on the dot and most students were already inside, dancing and giggling and having fun. The sound of the latest pop songs were echoing through the halls outside of the gym. The cheerleader running the ticket booth looked you up and down with a giggle.
“I love your outfit! It’s so... unique!” she gave you a smile that was way too wide and you grit your teeth at the false compliment. You shoved that anger down into your gut, and gave your best fake smile back, hoping that you sounded more sincere.
“Thank you, so much!” Your voice came out a bit higher pitched than anticipated, but the cheerleader didn’t seem to notice.
“Your Secret Admirer is going to love it.” She continued, and you felt your stomach twist. Shit, the cheerleaders were in on this too? You wondered how many people were in on this. “He asked me to give you this when you got here.”
She handed you a note, in the same sloppy handwriting as before.
Meet me in the center of the dance floor at 7:30.
It was 7:26 right now. You were tempted to make the assholes wait, after all, you wanted to make sure Eddie had a chance to get here before they could. But the cheerleader obviously saw you read the note, and there was no time to turn back.
Just show up for me. Eddie. You thought to yourself. Although this had been your idea, you were feeling nervous now. You really were about to put yourself out on full display to the school, willingly offering yourself up on a plate to your peers for humiliation. What if this didn’t work? What if Eddie didn’t make it in time? What if something worse happened with Eddie here?
The short walk from the entrance to the middle of the dance floor felt like slow motion. Your mind felt fuzzy and you hoped that you weren’t shaking from nerves. You stood in the center of the dance floor, and turned to face the single clock in the back of the gym. You could barely make out the time with the distance and dim lights, but you knew it was almost time.
7:27
7:28
You could do this
7:29
Almost time....
7:30
7:31
Where the fuck was Eddie?
7:32
Did he get held up?
7:33
Did he change his mind?
7:34
Fuck, you could hear the giggling.
7:35
You felt a tap on your shoulder.
This was it.
You turned around slowly, waiting for the worst.
Eddie stood before you, corsage in hand, on one knee as if he was proposing to you.
Maybe this was the real prank. Maybe the real prank was the one you played on yourself to be able to see your best friend kneeling and smiling up at you, offering you a corsage.
Time froze for a second as you took in the sight and committed it to memory.
“I’m glad you made it.” Eddie said, loud enough for anyone to hear. He really did have that natural projection that should have had the theater kids begging him to join them. “I knew you’d respond to my note.”
There was a dull murmur of confusion behind you, and you saw Eddie’s eyes flicker to something that you couldn’t see and he gave you a small nod.
Fuck, that was your cue.
You brought your hands up to your mouth, acting like all of the actresses you’d seen on tv who’s characters had been proposed to. You began nodding and accepted the corsage, letting him slide it onto your wrist.
How had he known what color to get to match your dress?
Eddie stood up and you threw your arms around him. “I was hoping it was you!” you said loudly, no need to act for this part. Eddie wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up and spun you around once. He really was deceptively strong, and you giggled as he set you down. Your lips met his cheek. His arms stayed around you.
Eddie smiled at you in a way that made your cheeks heat up and your knees feel weak.
You two were staring at each other.
The music changed.
Eddie moved one of his hands from around your waist to grab yours, and the two of you were slow dancing before you even fully knew what was happening.
“Eddie, what are you doing?” You asked, following his movements.
“You said you wanted to really sell this that we were together now.” Eddie said, keeping his eyes on you. “I don’t know how many people would believe it if I showed up and we immediately left. It wouldn’t exactly be memorable.”
“Right, good point.” you agreed.
“I always have good points, that’s why I’m the dungeon master.” Eddie chuckled, “Besides, it’d be a shame that you put in this much effort to look good for little old me to not show you off. What kind of boyfriend would I be? I have to make sure that I get a reputation for being a mean and scary freak, but also a decent date.”
Boyfriend.
“Shit.” you said quietly.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, brows furrowing with a frown.
“I didn’t think about what happens after this. You agreed to be my fake date, but I don’t want you to feel trapped with me after this.” you said. “Yeah, this’ll get everyone off my back for now but when school starts again, I don’t want you to feel like you have to act like we’re together.”
“Don’t worry about that.” Eddie said. “It’s not like my dating life is thriving here anyway. Between you and me, I’m a little too old for those who dare try and get with the Freak here.”
You let out a small laugh. “Tired of one night stands with girls who just want bragging rights?”
“After the third time, I was starting to feel like I was cheating on my right hand.”
You pressed your forehead against his shoulder, erupting into a fit of giggles. This felt right, this relaxed moment with Eddie. This is how it was supposed to feel with someone, right? It was supposed to be easy, and with Eddie it always was.
“Thank you, Eddie.” you said after your giggles had died down. “I really owe you one.”
“I thought this plan was me owing you one.” Eddie asked.
“This is honestly above and beyond helping you get a passing grade for a test.” you admitted. “I know you have your show tonight, and you hate doing anything for school. Plus, you showed up wearing this and you spent money on jeans and the corsage- oh, thank you for the corsage-”
“Hey,” Eddie snapped you out of your rambling. “Don’t act like you forced me to do anything. You said I had full creative control tonight. I chose to do all this for you.”
“Why?” you asked, meeting his eyes. “You could have so easily told me to just fuck off and said no.”
“I’ll admit this wasn’t exactly my idea of how this night was going to go.” Eddie said. “But then you said that you wanted the Freak to show up for you. I wanted to know what would happen if it was just Eddie.”
“Just Eddie...” you said quietly. Not the Freak, not the satanic cult leader, not the dungeon master. Just Eddie, your friend. “I’m glad that just Eddie was the one to show up.” your mouth went dry. “I- ...Eddie I-”
The two of you had stopped moving in slow circles, Eddie was closer than he had ever been to you before. You forgot where you were and Eddie was leaning closer to you, his mouth opening as if he was going to say something.
And that’s when it happened.
Whatever it was, it was room temperature, and sticky. It dripped down from your hair, down your face and onto your dress. You looked down to see pools of red flooding below you on the gym floor, and then your head shot up to see Eddie, covered in the same sticky substance with a dumbstruck look on his face.
Blood? Was that actually blood?! Was Eddie bleeding? Were you? Wait, had someone actually dumped pigs blood on you?
Eddie wiped his face, smearing the substance on his skin and hand and carefully brought it to his face and sniffed it, and then gave it a small lick.
“Corn syrup.” he said and looked at you, his eyes wide in shock.
“You mean this was a Carrie situation?!” you asked in a loud whisper as the two of you stared at each other. You looked around, and saw the group of jocks laughing and high fiving each other. One of them was holding an old paint bucket. Your body froze, and you couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. Those assholes had thrown fake blood on you and Eddie. They won. You fucked up. Eddie did so much for you tonight and you never even considered that the jocks would be smart enough to adjust their plans to account for Eddie being here-
Then Eddie started laughing, like really laughing. It was that genuine laugh that you’d heard a hundred times when the party came up with a stupid plan to get past one of Eddie’s challenges in Hellfire.
He looked at you, with a spark in his eyes and a grin that was manic.
His laughter was so contagious, that you found yourself laughing as well. You heard the laughter from the jocks start to die down and turn into mutters of confusion. The whole gym seemed to go silent, and you think the DJ stopped the music but you were laughing too much to care.
How fucking rediculous was this? It was almost too obvious what they had set up, but you didn’t think they were this unoriginal. How did they even sneak in the bucket? How did no faculty or staff react to this?!
“I guess the Freak is showing up, anyway.” Eddie laughed and looked at you. “Let’s give them the show they want.”
Eddie’s hand wrapped around the back of your neck and started pulling you in. Instinct took over and you gripped at his stained shirt and then your lips met. The kiss was met with gasps and oohs and shouts from around you, but you didn’t care. Eddie was kissing you, and you were kissing him back. The two of you must have looked like a spectacle, covered in fake blood and making out with him in the middle of the dance floor after laughing like maniacs.
“Stop that, right now you two!” you heard a teacher yell, and that’s when Eddie pulled back.
“Feel free to kill me for that later, okay?” That wild smile was still on his face.
“I think we should run now.” you agreed, deciding that whatever had just happened within the last 30 seconds could be processed later. You could see a few teachers starting to finally take action and start to run over, and the jocks were now scattering. Even though you and Eddie were the victims here, you didn’t really feel like sticking around. Whatever would happen with the school, could wait until Monday.
Eddie grabbed your hand, flipped off the few jocks that were still gawking, and the two of you took off running through the exit doors of the gym, the two of you laughing and cackling like mad.
“Fake blood!” you yelled as the two of you dashed across the parking lot. “They threw fake blood on us!”
“They actually spent money to get that much corn syrup and dye!” Eddie laughed, opening the door to his van for you again.
“Shit, it’s gonna get all over your van.” you said, taking your seat anyway and buckling up.
“That’s the least worrying thing I’ve spilled in here. Don’t worry about it.” He said, hopping into the driver side seat. “Jesus Christ, I didn’t think they had it in them!”
“Eddie, they ruined your new clothes.” You frowned, looking at him. The fake blood was starting to dry to your skin, and you could see it starting to give Eddie’s hair an odd texture in certain areas.
“They also ruined your dress.”
“Yeah, but I was never going to wear this again.” you said.
“And I was going to ruin these clothes anyway.” he shrugged and started the car, peeling out of the parking lot like a bat out of Hell. Eddie’s lead foot hit the gas and the two of you were speeding down the road, out of town towards the quarry.
“Holy shit.” you said, leaning against the seat as the adrenaline faded.
“I think that could’ve gone worse.” Eddie said, still smiling. “I think the blood really adds to Corroded Coffin’s whole thing.”
You shook your head, grabbing some napkins from the floor and wiping your hands off. “Shit, do we owe them a thanks now? Should we send them a fruit basket?”
“Nah, they’ll get what they deserve. A slap on the wrist for pulling this stunt at a school function.” Eddie glanced at you with a wry grin.
“Right, why do I feel like they’ll get off easy but somehow we’re gonna be the ones in trouble on Monday?” You rolled your eyes and lowered your voice in a horrible imitation of Principal Higgins. “Yes, those two played a harmless prank by dumping corn syrup on you, but you two displayed unsightly behavior in front of everyone in some sort of Hellish ritual-”
“Ouch. I didn’t think I was that bad of a kisser.”
You stopped talking and suddenly the corn syrup felt sticky and uncomfortable. You still hadn’t been able to digest the fact that the two of you had kissed- no, you two had full on made-out in front of the whole student body. Had there been tongue? You honestly couldn’t remember.
An awkward silence settled over the two of you and you were unsure of what to say. You wanted to tell him that no, he wasn’t a bad kisser at all. You wanted to be smooth and say something like “Well, I wasn’t really paying attention before, how about we try again?”. You wanted to say anything to indicate that you liked it and very much wanted to do it again.
Instead the two of you sat in the loudest silence you had ever been in as the two of you drove the long strip down to the quarry. You scolded yourself, thinking that saying anything had to be better than saying nothing.
And yet no words came out.
This was supposed to be a one shot in April. Now it's a three-shot. Do NOT let me write more than three chapters. The third chapter is almost done. There will be smut.
Divider by @strangergraphics
Tag List: @supernaturalstilinski @wonderlanddreamer @princesssunderworld @kores-mun-son-n-more @munsonfiles
@ladysilence @ghcstpyre @avalon-wolf @huffledor-able541 @sheneedsrocknroll92
@i-trash-about-things
#eddie munson fic#oh it's a three-shot?? you get a series tag! and YOU get a series tag! and you--#c'mon it's just one night#*carrie's mom voice* they're all gonna laugh at you!#*chanting children from it voice* kill them all! kill them all! kill them all!#awww eddie dressed up and came for pics with usss <3#mom's a customer? scandalous!#quiet reader! he's not acting! he's in love!#oh my god his head is on our shoulder *passes out*#i feel like you're one of the few who really gets the high school clique divide#i know these fuckin' bitches#omg they really are gonna carrie her aren't they#i know he's coming but damn if i'm not nervous#you're late dickhole!#i am teary-smile-emoji#the right one huh? XD#'this is how it was supposed to feel with someone right?' *cries*#did the jock fucks seriously learn nothing from carrie? KILL THEM WITH BRAIN#oh bringing in buckets of blood and throwing it on students is fine but we draw the line at kissing?#MAN I HATE HIGH SCHOOL#RUN LILLIAN#'should we send them a fruit basket?' hey do you know what the difference between a full moon and a fruit basket is? XD#ok now go rock out and make out and have a happy ending pls
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Awww, c'mon, man, you can tell me how big it is. Cmonnnnn, I'm curious! You're a good lookin guy, I'm sure you're packin some heat down there, right?
What's that? You don't... huh? What do you mean? Here, just let me...
Don't moan, man, don't gotta make this weird... Well damn. No, no, I'm not disappointed at all, it's just... Here. Feel this.
No, shh, just feel. When you reach between a man's legs, you should feel something like this. Yeah, there's a lot there haha, maybe not something quite like this... What's that? Can you see it? That's a little gay, dude... Naw, I'm joking. Here.
Ahaha, you should see your face, man. What, you thought just because it was that big it had to be hard already? Naww, look, you're cute and all but it takes a little more than - ohhh, shit. No, you're right, your hands probably won't fit. Yeah. Why don't you...
Ahhh, fuck. Quick to get on your knees, and christ, that feels good... Yeah, fuck, use your... Ugh, christ, I know you're choking, I'm just gonna use your throat for a minute. You look so fucking hot down there... C'mon, c'mon... Aha. A little too big for your throat, huh? That's alright. Lick your spit up off my cock, I've got something else for you to try.
Jesus, I can see how soaked you are through your clothes. Take those off, lemme get a look at you. God, you've got a great ass, you know that? Spread that shit for me, let me look... God, dude, you look tight. Let me just feel around here... Yeah, shit, can you spread a little more? I wanna really get a good look. Yeahhh, that's good, right there. Yeah, I'm gonna - aha, that was a cute sound. What happens if I - ahaaaa. That wasn't very manly of you. Okay, okay... On the bed.
Spread your fuckin legs, what do you think I'm about to do? No use in being shy now, I JUST felt how fuckin wet you are. If you're not gonna do it, I'm gonna have to make you... Yeah, alright, I've waited long enough. Oh don't gimme that, I know you want it. Look, when I lay it on your tummy... Almost to your belly button. Beg me to put it in. Yeah, man, seriously. Beg me for it. Like a slut. Use your big boy words and fucking beg me to take this fat fucking cock of mine and pound your cunt.
See, was that so hard? Good boy. Now, grab onto something, cuz this is gonna hurt.
#size k!nk#size difference#mine#cnc k!nk#size matters#rough cnc#detrans#detrans kink#ftm nsft#ftm puppy#ftm sub#dubc0n
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'bad idea, right?' 18+ dofp!logan x f!reader
summary: your father hired him to protect you, not to fuck you. but logan never really liked playing by the rules. (1.7k) tags: set in the 70s, logan goes down on reader, fingering, squirting, lots of dirty talk, messy, overstimulation if you squint, logan calls the reader 'princess, babygirl' etc, for the 'timetravel' prompt for logan promptober.
"that's it, there we go. . ." logan hums, his voice muffled as he eagerly laps at you with his large tongue, "daddy never let you have any fun, babygirl?"
he grins, ". . . but, daddy ain't here right now though, is he?"
you know this is a bad idea, know you shouldn't be doing this. your father's vengeance upon the stranger between your thighs would be so swift and cruel, but you find yourself unable to care.
his tongue expertly drifts through your wet folds as he groans, sending reverberations right to your core. those large, calloused paws of his grip at your thighs, his thick digits pressing into your soft flesh deeply. he's messy, the best kind of messy, lapping at you like an animal, like a man deprived.
"taste so fuckin' good," he grumbles against your pussy, deep hazel eyes finally opening to look up at you. they're glazed, and so is he, his chin dripping with your slick. but he's not done with you yet, "look how fuckin' wet you are already, you're literally dripping. . ."
your cheeks flush at his almost mocking tone, fingers threading through his hair as if to encourage him. you're not sure how you got here, except you are. the moment he walked through that door, sent by your father to protect you, you felt an ache build between your legs.
you could tell he sensed it too, the way his words and sentences were crafted almost expertly to have you wet and wanting all within twenty minutes of first laying eyes on him. no other guard has ever had you moaning like this, soaked like this, splayed out on your back like this.
but you're pulled from your thoughts when his lips wrap around your clit, sucking gently. your head falls back, moans spilling out into the apartment your father had rented as the man your father had rented devours you.
"such pretty sounds," logan growls against you, tongue flicking before pressing flat against you, "you're gonna wake the neighbours. c'mon, let 'em hear what i'm doin' to you."
your head is spinning, his words causing heat to pool low in your belly. he nuzzles against you, nose brushing against your swollen clit before he dives back down to your entrance, tongue dipping back inside to fuck you. it's almost too much, the way he makes light work of you as if it's so easy, as if he knows your body better than you know it, without even knowing more than just your name.
"that's it," he coos, grinning between your thighs as he kisses his way back up to your swollen bud once more, "moan for me, wanna hear you scream. i told you, want them to hear how good i'm fuckin' you." that's when you feel them, his thick fingers circling against your hole, teasing you, almost warning you.
but it's not a warning, it's a promise. one that you want - no, fuck that, one that you need. you roll your hips a little in response, moaning and whimpering beneath him, pleading without words.
logan smirks, he knows what you need, of course he knows. he saw the way you eyed his hands, the way you watched him flex them subconsciously - he knew you wanted them buried inside of your begging cunt as soon as he entered the apartment, could smell your want, your hunger.
he was paid to protect you, after all, and how better to protect you than to keep you fucked out in his hands at all times?
just one, at first. one finger slides inside, testing you. it's tight, really tight, and wet, a soft slick sound filling the air as his finger slides inside of you. "oh, been a good girl have you?" logan teases, but it's not like he cares how many people you've been with before him. he's the only one who's ever going to matter, anyway.
then another, you're gasping and moaning at the feeling of him filling you. his fingers are pretty big, much bigger than your own. his tongue dances across your clit, urging you to relax as he stretches you, and you do. he feels you settling, a groan rumbling from his throat as he eases into you.
but when a third finger enters on the next thrust, you're gripping the sheets and calling his name. it's thick, his three fingers filling you almost completely. you wonder how big he actually is and how he compares to his fingers, but your thoughts dissipate as he begins pumping them in and out of you steadily.
"that's it, there we go. . ." logan hums, his voice muffled as he eagerly laps at you with his large tongue, "daddy never let you have any fun, babygirl?"
he grins, ". . . but, daddy ain't here right now though, is he?"
your breath catches in your throat, looking down at him through hooded lids as he fucks his fingers into you faster. his eyes are locked on yours, lips and tongue lavishing your clit with the attention he knows it deserves.
"never had a man like me before, have ya?" logan mumbles, mouth half full with you, "never had a man to really show you how it's done."
you'd answer if you could, but your mind feels like liquid, unable to form or grip any solid coherent thought other than you don't want this to stop, don't want it to ever stop. instead, you tug at his hair, moaning his name over and over like a prayer. his name tastes sweet on your lips, a name you know you'll be calling out in a lust-filled haze on nights when you're particularly lonely. nights where you want, crave the touch from that stranger who nestled between your thighs and lapped like you were a fresh spring and he, a desperate parched man.
he feels you flutter around his fingers and he smirks against your clit. the sweet symphony of your moans reverberating against his ears has his dick twitching in his jeans, aching for release, aching to replace his fingers.
but not now, not while you're writhing so perfectly for him, coming undone at just a few strokes. you wonder how you would handle his cock when you're already close to bursting with his fingers, but who could blame you? the way he curls and pumps and glides them in and out of your tight pussy, you'd think he already knew all of your sweet spots, knew you inside out, without knowing you at all.
logan is just a stranger, but you know the memory of him will be burned between your thighs, making you throb, forever.
"gonna cum, aren't you?" he growls against you, picking up the pace. his fingers curl just slightly, enough to brush against your spongey g-spot on the next thrust, just enough for you to tense up and gasp.
you can't deny it either, there's a tidal wave coming that threatens to destroy you. it's rising slowly. you can't stop it. and it's crafted by him, by the man between your thighs. but you don't want to stop it, you just worry about who you'll be when you resurface on the other side, gasping for air, lost at sea, changed forever.
nodding, you let a whine slip from your lips, feeling a sensation build, your breathing ragged. it's coming, you're cumming. and instead of taking it easy on you, calming the waters, logan encourages the overwhelming waves with a curl of his fingers.
that's all it takes, all it takes for you to cum harder than you've ever cum before. you feel a gush, hot liquid coating your thighs and along his face as he fucks his three fingers into you deeper, hitting that same spot in every thrust. you're screaming his name, fist clenching in his hair in an iron grip as you roll your hips against his face. he's taking it too, tongue assaulting your clit in all the right ways to increase the pitch of your desperate screams.
and he loves it, loves the way you become so messy for him, coating those fresh sheets and his skin. he's moaning too, not that you can hear it over your ecstasy, but it's there, low like a growl beneath every cry.
"good girl. . ." he groans, pumping his fingers in and out of you relentlessly as you clench around him rhythmically, feeling his cock throb in his jeans at the sensation. he just knows you'll take him so well, knows you'll sound even better when it's his fat cock you're cumming around instead of his fingers.
it's almost too much, feeling yourself come apart at the seams as he stitches you back together with those calloused fingers of his through each thrust. and just as quickly as the waves come, they calm all at once, washing over you slowly, sending goosebumps rippling across your soft, supple skin. logan slows too, licking stripes along your cunt to catch the remnants of your release.
"holy shit," he grins wolfishly, proudly as he presses a few kisses to the inside of your thigh, "don't need to introduce myself to the neighbours anymore, i guess, already know me by name."
you flush deeply, running your fingers through your hair as you release his, resting back against the bed fully. there's a witty quip on the tip of your tongue, but it melts away at the feeling of him pulling his fingers out of you.
"this. . . can't happen again," you whisper, shaking your head as your eyes fix on the ceiling above you.
but logan smirks, he knows you don't really mean that. knows you're just trying to convince yourself that you won't crave him in your core, that he won't flash in your mind when another person finds their home between your thighs.
"whatever you say, princess," he shrugs, sitting up as he wipes your delicious slick from his beard and chin.
you glance up at him, his bare chest, muscles tensing coupled with those pretty blue jeans. fuck. fuck. this wasn't happening. dad would kill him, kill you too probably.
"but," you find yourself beginning to speak, unable to stop the words from fighting their way out, "suppose it could be our secret. . . if it did."
ah, there it is. there's the admission logan knew was coming. he knew it was gonna come the second he wrapped his lips around that swollen little clit of yours. you just needed someone to fuck you right, fuck you proper, fuck you dirty like you deserve.
besides, logan never really liked playing by the rules, anyway.
#my writing#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x f!reader#wolverine smut#logan howlett x you#logan howlett smut#wolverine fanfiction#the wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett#deadpool and wolverine#james howlett#james logan howlett#x men#xmen fanfiction#x men movies#marvel x reader#marvel#mcu#marvel comics#marvel mcu#hugh jackman#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett xmen#logan promptober 2024#days of future past#deadpool 3#x men days of future past
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━━ ❝ come and put your name on it ❞
special treatment : lap edition
☾₊‧⁺...ft. : gojo satoru + geto suguru + nanami kento + fushiguro toji + hakari kinji
☾₊‧⁺...cw : cockwarming, somnophilia, dirty talk, grinding + dry humping, fingerfucking, overstimulation, praise kink, edging, oral fixation, satoru's silly pet names, suguru being smug, kento being a desperate man, toji being toji, kinji being a bully
✧ g. satoru : sometimes gojo knows he fucks you too good to the point you can't think after, something he brags about to you all the time. but when you snuggle up to him, still stuffed with his cock and warm with his cum, he can't help but run his hands all over you. and when he realizes you fell asleep on his dick, his heart squeezes and his cock throbs hard.
"pretty angel, did you fall asleep? oh, that's just precious...you're making my heart squeeze, i wish i had my phone, you look so cute like this." "did you say my name? dreaming about me? god, you're so precious, i could just fuck you like this...shit, don't fuckin' squeeze on me like that, are you having a wet dream right now? god, i love you so fucking much." "aww, my little mochi is so cute! look at youuu, you're gushin' all over the place. messy fucking pussy too small to keep my cock and all my cum inside you." "mm, fuck, pretty thing. you wakin' up? hi pretty girl...oooh, fuck, d-did you just cum? holy fuck, c'mon, baby, on your back, lemme fuck you, princess, let 'toru make you cum again, yeah?”
✧ g. suguru : suguru's softly cooing at you when you sleepily walk into the living room, whining to him that you had a dream and you wanted him to 'fix the problem he caused.' all he can do is just chuckle at how childish and bratty you can be as his hands are moving up and down your sides while he grinds up into you.
"you're such a brat, you know that right? always blaming me for your dreams. it's not my fault you can't stop thinking about how good i fuck you." "hmm? ooh, i see...you keep having dreams of me cumming inside you, hm? are you trying to say something, princess? d'you want me to start breeding you?" "i didn't say stop moving, did i? or do you need me to do all the work? heh, so spoiled, i've spoiled you absolutely rotten." "i know, but just cum once like this, won't you? if you do, i promise i'll fill your cute pussy with my cum, okay? mhm, promise, princess, i'll give you what you need."
✧ n. kento : nanami loves having you close to him, especially when you sit in his lap. it lets him nuzzle his nose into your neck, pressing little kisses where he can while your legs are spread over his strong thighs, his thick fingers leisurely pumping in and out of your needy hole, chuckling against your skin whenever you jolt.
"honey, have i mentioned how gorgeous you are? you look so beautiful like this...spread open and wanting, just for me." "you're sucking my fingers in so well. look at that...do you think you can take a third?" "it's so messy. look at what you've done to my fingers, honey, they're soaked. clean them off for me, i want you to taste yourself before i put them back in. maybe tonight we can make you squirt, hm? do you wanna try, darling?" "you think you're going to cum again? poor thing, your little cunt is so greedy, she just wants to cum over and over again on my fingers...is my cock not good enough for you, mm? aww, don't pout, i'm just teasing you, darling." "i know, i know, it's too much, but you can take it. be my good girl, just take it and keep cumming until you can't anymore."
✧ f. toji : sitting on toji's lap is, in his mind, an invitation for him to run his hands all over you. his cock is already hard in his sweats, but he's subdued the second you get comfortable and slowly grind against him, groaning when you press sweet kisses into his neck.
"tch, are you gonna let me fuck your thighs t'night? pretty please? yeah, that's right, i'm askin' nicely. why? don't play stupid, doll, you know what they do to me." "shit...keep moving those hips, sweetheart, you feel so fuckin' good like this." "god, i can feel that pretty pussy leaking through my sweats. big bad toji make you that fuckin' wet, mama? y'like grinding that clit on my dick through my pants? dirty fucking girl." "mmh, you keep tugging my hair like that and I'm not even gonna take you to the bedroom, i will fuck you into this damn couch, woman.” "listen here, wifey, I'll wreck your cunt until you can't think about anything but me inside you. hell, I'll ruin this stupid couch in the process, i don't give a fuck about stainin' it."
✧ h. kinji : when you sit on kinji's lap, it's when he's watching a fight on tv. you can tell it's not going how he wants it to go, the toothpick between his teeth being gnawed on. when you make eye contact with him, he just raises an eyebrow, one of his hands squeezing your hip.
"cupcake, do me a favor and get on my dick before i get up and give us a reason to get a new tv." "hey, hey, don't move yet, let me see if he lands this punch...don't whine like that before i put my fingers in that pretty little mouth t' shut you up." "you always squeeze so tight when i press down on your tongue like this...pretty thing likes that shit, doesn't she? go on, fuck yourself on my dick while you drool all on my fingers like a slut." "mm, shit, baby, i can't focus on that bullshit fight, lemme help you. yeah, thaaaat's it, let your boy fuck you nice and deep, make ya cream, juuuust like this."
all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
#gojo smut#geto smut#nanami smut#toji smut#hakari smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#gojo x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#toji x reader#hakari x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru smut#toji fushiguro smut#nanami kento smut#geto suguru smut#hakari kinji smut#˗ˏˋ ★ lxnarworks .ᐟ#[🥂] kento .ᐟ
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18+ Minors dni. I'm currently obsessed with the thought of Bucky making his pretty girl take it. I'm talking him keeping you caged under him with your legs wrapped around his waist while his arm are wrapped tightly around your body. This type of energy comes out when he's pissed. Stressed. Jealous. He's going to remind you exactly who you belong to and my favourite thing about this is imagine you didn't even know what happened. Maybe he overheard some agents talking about how irresistible you are. So cute and pretty and they'd give anything to-
Nope. The thought alone of anytone touching what's his has him storming off, hauling you over to mark you in the most primal way possible. Remind everyone who you belong to. He plucks you up from whatever you're doing and carries you over his shoulder like a beast; you're naked on his bed seconds later. He plows into you, hips slamming his cock into your very soaked cunt, unapologetically fucking you with the deepest moans. He sounds so feral. He is feral.
"Feels-so-good, such a good girl, letting me put my big dick in you"
Those grunts and groans he lets out show just how selfish he's being because he's focused on how fucking good you're making his dick feel. You're so soft but you make his cock so hard. You're such an angel for him, spreading your legs for him the second he set you down. He'd been torn between wanting to ravish you immediately or taking a second to throw his clothes off. He decides he needs you to fucking smell like him when this is all over, have every bit of his scent covering your skin. He wants to feel every bit of you all over him.
No one else would ever get to have you like this. Feel your naked breasts on their chest. Feel your soft tummy press against theirs. Feel the plushness of your thighs squeezing their waist. Feel your silky walls squeeze and milk their cocks till they're all soft and sensitive.
They'd hear you though.
They'd hear every moan and Bucky would make sure of that.
"Whose cock is making you scream baby, tell me" He growls, your combined arousal making a mess on the bed.
"Y-OURS-" You hiccup, choking back a sob as he snakes his had to wrap around your throat. Damn right. His fucking cock. His dick in your pussy. Not the stupid little boys who think they have a chance to even breathe the same air. His pretty, pink, fat fucking cock destroying you to his heart's content, stretching you open as much as he wants. "J-JAMES"
"That's right, say my name baby, say the name of your man who fucks you this good, let everyone hear" He's already turned off all the sound proofing and maybe he left his door a crack open. Maybe.
"Jaamesss" You sound so gone, cockdrunk over the way the spongy head of his dick kisses that sensitive spot that makes you squirt cream with each of his thrusts. "Don't st-stop, please-fuck-me-Jamie" Your voices slurs and turns into a whine as your eyes roll back. For such a sweet princess, you sound like an absolute slut when he's inside you and he wouldn't have it any other way.
"Mhphhm, sound so pretty, gonna make me blow, let me empty my balls in you" He starts to fuck you faster causing the headboard to shake, the whole bed creaking with his movements. "M'gonna cum angel-oh shittt-"
He nearly whimpers when he feels your doe eyes looking up at him with your ankles locked around his waist; he knows exactly what that means.
"You want it inside you huh, want my cum in you baby, s'that it?"
"Want-it-please, can't hold it" you cling onto him tighter and Bucky can't last any longer.
"Cum with me, together, c'mon angel, cum with me, yes, fuck yes, can feel you-fuck-" He begs, needing those little boys who spoke about you to hear exactly what they're missing out on, "OH GOD, FUCKKK" He doesn't hold back as he gives into his orgasm, your name dripping of his lips while you sob and squeal.
I want him to give you the softest aftercare. Tell you what a good girl you were for him. How much he loves and adores you, how special you are to him.
I want him to have the most smug expression on his face when he goes back down. He's such a little shit. He passes by a cackling Tony and a wheezing Sam. Not one agent dares look him in the eye. Steve may be blushing but he'll give credit where credit is due. His best friend sent a very clear message. Bucky is a possessive, loving, horny little shit and I need it.
Need it now.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky x smut#bucky x fluff#bucky x you#bucky x f reader#bucky x f!reader#bucky x female yn#marvel smut#marvel#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fan fiction
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(alt included)
Link to Video. (Please help Panda make money.)
Video description and transcript under the cut.
Description: TikTok video by The Panda Redd. Re-enactment of final scene of Under the Hood. All roles played by Panda (a tall, well-built young white man with a mohawk, wearing a grey hoodie). Setting is a dark basement lit only by a hanging light bulb.
Transcript.
Jason: (holding gun on Bruce) "Bruce, I forgive you for not saving me."
Batman: (glares silently)
Jason: "But why? Why on God's Earth—" (hits Joker across the face)
Joker (tied to a chair): *cackles*
Jason: "—is HE still alive??"
Joker: "AHAHAHAHAHHAHA!"
Batman:
Batman: "I'm sorry, d'you want me to be serious here or—?"
Jason: (in disbelief) "YES, Bruce! I want you to be serious right now! If he had done what he did to me to you, I would've done nothing but search the earth for this pile of death-worshiping garbage!"
Joker: "I love you too, Sugar Plum."
Batman: (holds hands up) "Okay, yeah, I get that, totally, I get that. Um. Have you tried?"
Jason: "Excuse you?"
Batman: "Have you tried to kill him yet?"
Jason: (to Joker) "Is he being serious?"
Joker: (also confused) "I'm gonna be honest with you, Junior. I don't know."
Jason: "Got it. Great." (turns back to Batman) "What the fuck does THAT mean?"
Batman: "Okay, so no, you haven't. Cool. Do it."
Jason:
Jason: (lowers gun) "What."
Batman: "Do it, cap his ass. Shoot him."
Joker: "I'm gonna go with Junior here, and say...what?"
Jason: "You want me to shoot him?"
Batman: "I want someone to shoot him! Give me the gun, I'll do it!"
Jason: (mutters, brain blue screening) "What is going on right now? This should a lot harder than it is."
Batman: "C'mon, son! You decapitated like eleven people three days ago! Fuckin' do it!"
Jason: "There, you happy? Jesus. Was that so hard? All of this time and it was THAT easy!"
Joker: (turns to Jason quizzically) "This has gotta be some sort of test, ri—"
(BANG! Jason fires. Joker lands on the floor lifeless, eyes still open.)
Batman: "I don't know what you're talking about "easy". There's nothing there." (nods at floor)
Jason: "What the fuck is that supposed to—" (looks down at floor where the Joker was lying)
Floor: (is devoid of Joker)
Jason: (stares)
Floor: (continues to be sans anything but carpet)
Jason: "What the fuck?"
Batman: "Yeah."
Jason: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Batman: "Take as long as you need with this."
Jason: (looking around frantically) "I just shot him! He hit the floor! What the f—"
Floor: (is just vibin')
Jason: "Where the fuck did he go??"
Batman: "See that shit? That shit right there happens every fucking time!"
Jason: "There's not even a blood stain! It's just gone!"
Batman: "Yeah, like two days after you died, I chased him into a helicopter where he got shot like six times. The helicopter exploded and crashed into the ocean. And his body was gone before Superman could find it."
Jason: "Oh my God. I don't understand how this is even fucking possible!"
Batman: "He's like a cryptid! I don't fucking get it!"
Joker: (disembodied laughter) "AHAHAHAHA HAHAHA!"
Jason: (freaked out, turning in circles trying to find him) "Oh my God!"
Batman: "THAT OMINOUS SHIT HAPPENS TOO! I DON'T KNOW, DUDE!"
Jason: "Dude. Fuck whatever's going on here, that's some fucking bullshit."
Batman: "Thank you! Finally someone gets it!"
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