#like i'm getting emotional and i'm not even in the fandom proper yet

[aza-trash-can]

I feel I gotta check on my Arcane moots after the absolute angst apocalypse that my tiktok fyp has become

Like, my dudes, I know you're not okay. Need to scream? Need to cry? Let it all out man, I know you gotta

[sokkastyles]

As the eldest daughter in my family, I've always kind of related to Katara in some ways. I wasn't parentified like she was, but whenever I saw her trying to keep things together for the Gaang in the show or whenever I see her being the emotional anchor for the Gaang in a way, I could really relate to that, especially because Katara is sort of always expected to be that person for everyone and she never really gets a break from it. I'm nowhere near as incredible as Katara is, but I have experienced being the person who was always expected to be kind and forgiving, always willing to compromise and understand, and never really being allowed to be mean or angry or even make mistakes in the same ways that some of my other family members were allowed to do. I've heard my family members say things like "that's just what that person is like, that's just what their personality is like, nothing you can do about it." It still frustrates me to hear that, because it often feels like I've never been given that same margin of error. I'm not an ideal older sister or daughter by any means and I've definitely made mistakes. I'm sure there must be other girls and women who can relate to this too. And I think one of the main reasons Zutara has always been, and still is, appealing to me is because Zuko sees Katara for who she is, the good parts and the less than perfect parts, and he doesn't ever make her feel guilty about any of it. He takes her seriously, gives her a lot of care and emotional support, and is very good at meeting her where she is and trying to understand her rather than dismissing the parts of her personality that he doesn't understand or are more complicated. That's the type of emotional support I would like from a partner one day, and I wish Katara and Zuko had ended up together for that reason too.

Tbh, when people (usually KA shippers) talk about Katara getting to be a child with Aang, they talk about in based on the idea that what she needs is to be like Aang. They want her to be carefree and do cute things like penguin sled. And even though Katara enjoys doing those things, when she penguin sleds with Aang, she doesn't actually experience herself as a kid again. Her reaction is "I haven't done this since I was a kid," and Aang points out that she talks as if she isn't still a kid, because she doesn't feel like one, and going penguin sledding doesn't magically transform her. If anything, that scene emphasizes how much Katara does not consider herself a kid. Which doesn't mean she isn't one, but Katara's attitude towards penguin sledding highlights her parentification, not reverses it.

When Katara acts like a kid, she often acts in ways that get her hated by the fandom. In what scenes does Katara actually get to experience being a kid again, I ask you?

Katara's inner child is not happy-go-lucky like Aang. Katara's inner child is selfish and full of anger and grief and fear. And validating that child is just as important as Katara getting the opportunity to play. I just find it interesting that certain people scream about letting Katara be a kid when she's doing the things that Aang wants her to do, and yet one of the episodes that show Katara the most in touch with the child she is is an episode where she gets accused of acting in a way that is not herself or too adult or too dark.

Katara avenging her mother and confronting the man who murdered her is an acknowledgement of Katara's stolen childhood and one of the most clear expressions she has of taking it back, literally reclaiming her identity. And she doesn't do it in a way that's innocent or kind or cute or wholesome or acceptably feminine, but it still comes from a need to be the child she is.

And Zuko is the one who makes that happen for her, and who doesn't tell her what the mature or proper way to do it is.

I read a quote recently from a review of the remake of Carrie that instantly made me think of Katara, and I feel like it's relevant both in the ways we talk about Katara as a heroic character and as a parentified child.

Whether she’s volunteering to take her sister’s place in the arena or grooming her son to lead the resistance; gunning down the gangsters who sell drugs to the kids in her neighborhood or swinging swords to avenge her daughter, the “strong female character” is often stirred by a maternal concern, a quintessential desire to preserve her community, to protect the weak and vulnerable. Her bad-assery must be in the service of a greater good. Even when she’s more ethically complex (like the Bride, who begrudgingly admits that all the people she killed to get to her daughter, “felt good”), she never takes a place at the table of Walter White’s grand epiphany: “I did it for me.”

- Laura Bogart, The Trouble With Carrie: Strong Female Characters and Onscreen Violence

Katara's actions in the Southern Raiders are one of the best expressions of her being a child because she does it for herself. She does it BECAUSE she is a child and she was hurt. When Katara is penguin sledding because Aang asked her to, it never approaches the point where she's doing it for herself or letting go of the idea that she isn't a kid like the others around her. It's only when she's confronting Yon Rah that she's acting not as her mother's replacement, but as the child who was left behind. The child who, like Carrie, needed the adults around her to protect her.

Of course, Katara's actions are nowhere near as extreme as Carrie's, but both stories tap into something intrinsic about girlhood and the desire for validation in a world that adultifies girls but at the same time tries to keep them infantalized.

[sgiandubh]

Anon rebelde.

Mis felicitaciones más sinceras por lo bien que has llevado el tema, sin marcas de agua, publicando la fuente, sin bombo personal acerca de la bomba :) Ya podían aprender otras.

No quise entrar en el tema escort porque estaba todo dicho desde el minuto uno que JJ público las fotos pero no puedo dejar pasar el bombazo que ha supuesto ese vídeo en el fandom. La bofetada ha sido tan grande que Mordor a estas horas todavía no ha reaccionado al mismo. Brian ignora la presencia de su reina en el, cuando hubiese sido portada de su blog ya que Cait está participando activamente del evento y mas después de una sequía de apariciones. Algunas se echan las manos a la cabeza de que esos besos no pueden ser verdad con la excusa de como van a rozarse siquiera si está Maril allí como si Maril y el resto de acompañantes no supieran lo que hay realmente entre ellos y precisamente por estar en ese entorno seguro y discreto, ellos bajaron la guardia. La moraleja de esta historia es que cuando mientes a tu publico tienes que tener muy, pero que muy presente, que tienes que mentirle siempre porque en estos tiempos de tecnología nadie se puede esconder de un objetivo indiscreto. Solo espero el próximo movimiento de RRPP después de esto, porque si unos comentarios sin fotos desencadenaron el paseo de las infamia, no quiero pensar lo que hará este video aunque para ser sincero, si son listos, cosa que dudo, no daría más importancia a las locuras de un "reducido" grupo de fans y dejaría pasar el tema no vaya a pasar como con las sabanas de rayas. Pero bueno, creo que eso ya será como pedirle peras a un olmo y mientras que siga la fiesta.

Dear (returning) Anon Rebelde,

Por favor, perdóname por llegar tan tarde. Como ya mencioné, ha sido muy difícil mantenerse al día con todo y con todas esas emociones desbocadas. Pobrecita Anon Rebelde 😘. Lo enviaste ayer por la noche y quería tomarme mi tiempo para obtener una respuesta y una traducción adecuadas. Ese momento ha llegado. Gracias por tu paciencia.

English version:

Please forgive me being so late. As I already mentioned, it's been very hard to keep up with everything and with all those emotions running wild. Poor you. You sent that yesterday night and I wanted to take my time for a proper answer and a proper translation. That time has come. Thank you for your patience:

You wrote:

'My most sincere congratulations for how well you have handled the topic, without watermarks, publishing the source, without personal hype about the bomb :) . Others could learn from that.

I didn't want to get into the escort topic because it was all said and done from the minute JJ published the photos but I can't let go of the bombshell that that video has caused in the fandom. The slap has been so big that Mordor at this time has not yet reacted to it. Brian ignores the presence of her queen in it, when it would have been at the forefront of her blog, since Cait is actively participating to the event and even more so after a drought of appearances. Some of them throw their hands around the fact that those kisses cannot be true with the excuse of how they are going to even touch each other if Maril is there, as if Maril and the rest of the companions do not know what is really between them and precisely because they are in that safe and discreet environment, they let their guard down. The moral of this story is that when you lie to your audience you have to keep very, very clearly in mind that you have to always lie to them because in these times of technology no one can hide from an indiscreet lens. I'm just waiting for the next PR move after this, because if some comments without photos triggered the walk of shame, I don't want to think what this video will do although to be honest, if they are smart, which I doubt, I wouldn't give more importance to the follies of a "small" group of fans and I would let the issue pass lest it would happen like with the striped sheets. But hey, I think that will be like teaching an old dog new tricks and show must go on.'

Well, dear Anon Rebelde, isn't it extraordinary? Ever since you sent me your thoughts, BIF has let someone else do the Pravda comment on the pics. I will not spare one single neuron trying to make sense of what was said. It is of NO relevance and C showed her just how many fucks she gave about all the Stans. Zero, as my ticket to Landcon, Anon Rebelde.

Spring is back on our dashboards. Let's not spoil it with overanalyzing. Let's just enjoy the glorious moment they gave us. I am smiling from ear to ear while writing this.

“For where all love is, the speaking is unnecessary. It is all. It is undying. And it is enough.”

Or perhaps you'd prefer Paramore to 'Erself?

'And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

But darling, you are the only exception'

[fairyqueentitana]

Let's talk about Marinette

Marinette Dupain Cheng is the main character of The Miraculous Adventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir. As my cousin has recently found this fandom, I rewatched it. I have several issues that I need to address, but we shall start with Marinette's first.

The obsessive behaviour linked to her crush, Adrien Agreste - not many understand how creepy this is. Still, Marinette believes she is so in love with Adrien that she resorts to highly obsessive and stalker-like behaviours. A key example is that she keeps a large copy of his personal schedule, then she has multiple photos of him. Luckily, all these photos seem to be from his modelling or group hangouts. Then there was that sniffing the clothing scene. It was frankly very disturbing. If this is indeed what the creators think is normal behaviour for a girl with a crush, I am worried for the boys their girl's crush on. Then I worry about the young girls who said they relate to her behaviour. Her crush is obsessive and creepy luckily as time goes on I see her following more normal behaviours.

How she deals with the Lila Rossi Problem - What concerns me about her situation with Lila is that she does not inform her parents at all. I understand not telling Ms.Bustier as the woman is an enabler and push-over. However, it seems to indicate that Marinette's relationship with her parents is not as perfect as once portrayed. Hiding her status as Ladybug and the guardian might be the reason, but in a way it isolates her. The high-road advice from Adrien that she follows is also infuriating and how her friends basically ignore her telling them the truth due to their belief she is jealous. Marinette has no clear support, and it shows how hard it is for her. Her friends believing Lila over her is the first true introduction to betrayal. Yet she does not grow much from it, showing that Marinette herself is holding on with a lot of hope in them but not vice versa.

Her relationship with Luka - We get a chance to see her in a proper relationship. However, it's coloured by her acceptance of Adrien being with Kagami and the fact she is growing as a person. Luka seems to be a great person for her and she acknowledges this,however, is ruined by her responsibilities as Ladybug. She eventually has to say goodbye to Luka when he leaves Paris for both her and Chat Noir's sake. Marinette is always going to be tied to Adrien even when she moves on, which is annoying. It allows her no growth.

Her relationship with Chat Noir - I understand they are teens and occasionally will make decisions using only their emotions and later regret it. However, I find Chat Noir/Adrien's assistance to be with Ladybug even when she turns him down a bit uncomfortable. He has not crossed any boundaries, but he seems to have no concept of well understanding that he needs to stop. Marinette often does keep up the banter, but she is very clear that she and Chat are not a couple. Even when he is with Kagami, he still hits on her and I'm uncomfortable with that. Marinette has a problem actually saying no and I'm starting to notice it.

Just because you like someone does not mean you do everything they say - Adrien tells her not to expose Lila, and she holds back. He tells her he is disappointed about the farewell Chloe party and she immediately wilts. She changes herself and her opinions to cater to him. It is something a lot of us can relate to but also realise was wrong. How many of you can say that she should have explained to him why his advice and lecture were wrong?

Why tell Alya her identity? - I get she was stressed and felt like she was drowning but Alya was one of the persons that encouraged her obsessive crush, runs a blog hoping to reveal her superhero identity and who so easily believed Lila over Marinette. Best friend or not, she had other options like her parents or even Luka (before he found out and left) An anon recently assumed that I disliked the show based on my criticisms of Marinette but I don't. All good characters need flaws without flaws a perfect character is boring. However, there are some things I feel compelled to comment on. Marinette is a teenager going through it, but every time she shows growth and takes several steps forward, the creators pull her eight steps back. Marinette deserves true growth that shows aka take a hint from the fandom we are screaming at this point.

[girlwiththepapatattoo]

The Unlikely Similarities Between Kittens and Vampires

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Pairing: Astarion x Female!Tav

Warnings: an almost kiss, some sexual tension, Astarion being himself

Summary: Very early into their adventure, the city-raised druid Sable and her new companion Astarion have an interesting conversation at camp.

Notes: Yes I'm part of the Astarion simp pile, but I never asked for this! Anyway, have a one shot. (That I managed to keep a reasonable length, go me!)

Read on Ao3 here!

The firelight dances, creating shadows that flit in and out of the campsite, playing along tents, keeping those that sleep under the stars company. Crickets chirp cheerily, owls hoot in the distance; the night is peaceful. 

Which is why Sable is away from her post on the first watch. Instead of at the campfire, she’s down by the river, sitting on a rock and dipping her sore feet in the river. She knows that there’s only trouble when the nocturnal sounds stop. 

Or, well, so she’s read.

The elf leans back on her hands, looking up at the gorgeous night sky. The novelty of a crystal clear sky hasn’t worn off yet, a riot of white and bright blue pinpricks, with the occasional rare red thrown in. She traces constellations she’s only seen in books and swishes her toes through the gentle current below. 

“Well, you’ve certainly taken to nature rather well,” a voice simpers behind her. She doesn’t need to turn around to see who it is, even though her traveling companions are very new. That incredibly smooth tone could only belong to Astarion, the elf with the red eyes and rather prominent canine teeth. “I’m almost jealous.” 

Sable can’t help but smile faintly. Despite his propensity for selfishness so far, she can’t help but like the man. Which she knows is a problem, even if she knows that he doesn’t know she knows yet. “Almost being the key word.” 

A soft chuckle graces her ears, and she hears him step up next to the rock she’s sitting on. “Of course. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. I want no part of it.” 

She hums in acknowledgement. “I agree.” 

“Ah. I knew you were sensible.” He watches as the cool river water flows past his companion’s toes, his eyebrow arching. “Does that…feel good?” 

“It does, yes,” is her soft response. “Helps ease the ache after walking all day. I can move over if you’d like to join in.” 

He hesitates, looking at the running water trepidatiously, before rolling his eyes at himself and nodding. “Oh, very well.” She grins faintly and moves over as he pulls his boots and socks off. He rolls up his pant legs, and she has to quickly tear her eyes away from slender ankles, shapely and defined calves. Two spots of heat blossom in her cheeks, which of course he notices as he turns around. “Getting flustered at the flash of an ankle?” he purrs, even as he tentatively dips his big toe into the water. When there’s no sizzling of skin, he slips both feet into the river with a moan of delight (that definitely doesn’t make her stomach flip) and leans back much like she was. “Positively archaic of you.” 

She rolls her eyes, her blush deepening at his words. The rock is large, but not large enough that there’s much space between them, the outside of their thighs nearly touching. “Hilarious. Why aren’t you in your trance?” 

“Darling, this is only my second night in the great outdoors,” is the reply, sounding vaguely annoyed, but not necessarily at her. “I’m used to a proper mattress, not…whatever that thing is they try to tell me is a bedroll.”

“Well, we’ll have to adapt,” she replies. 

“Adapt,” he says flatly, not even framing it as a question. 

“Adapt,” she confirms. She continues to watch the water flow past as she adds, “vampires are supposed to be good at that, right?” 

For a long moment, it’s dead silent. He stares at her in shock that not only does she know, she hasn’t tried to stake him. “...I won’t do you the disservice of pretending to be otherwise,” he finally says with a little amused huff.

Her lips curl again in a faint smile. “Appreciated.” 

“How long have you known?” 

She hums in thought, turning her eyes back to her toes, his own quite close now. “I had my suspicions from the first time I saw you, honestly,” she admits. “Elves don’t really have red eyes, unless they’re drow. I thought at first that maybe some ancestor of yours could have been Lolth-sworn…then I saw your teeth.” She chuckles, leaning forward and bracing her elbows on her thighs. “Even then, I was willing to chalk it up to natural discrepancies.” She pauses, remembering… “But then you caught my hand when I tripped over a root. That’s when I knew. Your skin was–or is, rather–so cold.” She huffs at herself, and finally looks at him. “Long story short, I’ve known from the first day.” 

“But you…haven’t said anything?” he asks, confused. The look on his face, so thrown off guard, almost makes her laugh. 

“Well…no. We all have our secrets, Astarion. You haven’t tried to kill one of us in our sleep…” She leaves the ‘yet’ hanging unspoken in the air. “...and as long as you continue to not do that, I have no problems with what you are.” 

He stares at her again, trying to settle on some sort of reaction, something to say. “...well,” he finally says, tilting his head slightly as he considers her. “That’s very kind of you. A little too trusting, if I might say, but considering it’s towards myself I’ll let it slide.” 

She snorts inelegantly. “Generous of you.” 

“It is, isn’t it?” he says, smug. She can’t help but laugh, knowing he’s messing with her, and he chuckles right along with her. 

She turns her head to look at him, and whatever she was about to say dies on her lips when their eyes meet. A spark of something shoots through her, settling behind her navel. They’re so close, less than a foot separating their faces. Even in the dark he can count the smattering of freckles across her cheeks, see the different glints of color swimming in her hazel eyes. 

His own crimson orbs darken faintly. His lids lower halfway, his beautiful lips curling into a sly smile. Her breath hitches as his fingers brush over her jaw, lifting her chin…and she knows her body obeys, that he had to use no strength to move her where he wants her: the perfect angle for a kiss. 

Her face heats, and when he starts to bend down to her, she all but throws herself off the rock. He freezes as she stares at him, now from a good ten feet away. “...darling, if you didn’t want a kiss, you could have simply said so,” he drawls, but his eyes are sharp on her. “That was a little dramatic.” 

She swallows hard. “S-Sorry. I’m sorry, I…didn’t mean to react so strongly.” 

He watches her, and the look on his face is so unreadable that it makes her nervous. “And why did you react so strongly? I know you find me attractive, my dear Sable. You blush if I so much as glance your way.” 

“I…” Speaking of blushing… “Yes, I do. But…” She tries to gather her words to explain, before just blurting out, “You’re a kitten!” 

For the first time in a long, long time, he finds himself speechless. “...I beg your pardon?” he finally replies, his voice a little more high pitched in his astonishment. “Did you really just call a two hundred year old vampire a kitten?!”

She very nearly flails her hands. “I–no, wait–that’s not what I��look, just listen, okay?!” She takes a deep breath, trying to pull that calm she always has around her back on. “I didn’t mean that you literally are a kitten. What I meant was…” Her lips purse as she finds the words. “...Back in Baldur’s Gate, I worked with my parents as a veterinarian, taking care of people’s pets. Mostly rich people’s. You don’t spend decades working with animals and not pick up some interesting facts.” Another pause, and she meets his eyes again. “Do you know why some animals are cute?” 

“I haven’t the slightest,” he replies, and by his tone she would have thought he was bored…if it weren’t for the intense look in his eyes. 

“It’s a defense mechanism,” she says firmly. “With most people, they see something adorable and helpless-looking, they’re much less likely to attack it and much more likely to try and nurture and take care of it. It’s a biological instinct, and unless a person has no sense of empathy at all, they’ll certainly feel it. You…you have something similar, but it’s less for defense and more for offense.” She’s quiet for a long moment, and he watches her eyes roam his form before settling back meeting his. “You are…the most breathtakingly beautiful man I’ve ever seen. But I’m biologically wired to think that, and your vampiric nature takes advantage of it. Your beauty lures people in. Were we not in the situation we’re in now…” She shrugs. “I’d be easy prey.” 

Dead silence greets her ears. He’s staring at her as if considering a particularly interesting puzzle. She has to fight not to fidget. 

Finally, he sighs, and his look is torn between amusement and ruefulness. He slips off the rock, grabbing his boots and socks with one hand before prowling up to her. He stares down into her eyes, before giving her a slow, sly smile and a playful pinch to her chin. “Perhaps not so easy, darling. You’re much smarter than I gave you credit for.” Then he leans in, his lips just barely brushing the shell of her ear, and his voice goes low, smooth, as sensual as the slide of silk over bare skin. “Besides, contrary to what your mind is thinking, your body knows…there are much more interesting things I’d like to use my mouth for than simply sucking your blood.” 

He pulls away and shifts around her, before turning to walk backwards to give her a cheeky grin as if she were not currently losing her mind in a sudden arousal she’s not sure how to handle. “Or at least, in addition to. Sleep tight, darling,” he calls teasingly, before sauntering back to his tent. 

But as he dries off his legs and sits down for his evening’s rest, his mind is filled with thoughts of just how surprising his new companion is…

…and how uncomfortable it is to be read so easily. 

[mandiips]

BORUTO-VERSE RE-IMAGINING

Fourth War Casualties

New Konoha

Hello Boruto fandom, Never once watched Boruto, never even got past the Kazekage Rescue Arc, personally I think Ikemoto is a bit off his rocker because- how in the world did you manage to make this world even MORE sexist but y'know

so I'm having fun with what i would have liked to see in the next gen, as an original fan, and I am desperately trying to get rid of the ninja brainworms that have gripped me before workflow picks back up. (I'm actually going crazy on Milanotes)

I did some other rough brainstorming in the past and this is kinda building off that: Boruto Hinata

Thoughts:

It strikes me as really odd, for how catastrophic and world-ending the fourth war was, that there were seemingly no major repercussions or casualties. That's just not realistic to me. More than one main character should've died. It gives more emotional weight to someone like Kiba, who doesn't have any big role beyond the War, and thus gives his character a purpose that isn't just "Im gonna be Hokage #57"

The front lines weren't the only places being targeted, villages and safe houses were under siege, resulting in countless civilian, genin, and chunin deaths.

Mei stays Mizukage instead of that spineless, random guy.

I have some ideas for the injuries that the "crippling wounds" category sustains, but it's important to mention that "crippling" only means "not fit for active shinobi duty" since that's the bread and butter job of ninja society, so the severity of the injuries varies greatly.

I'm also aware that medical ninjutsu is like a magic eraser when it comes to stuff like that, but I rationalize that medics were more concerned about helping their patients survive rather than making sure their patients will be able to fully recover. Everyone in the injured category went too long without the proper surgery because they wanted civilians and lower ranks to have access first. Even then, the medical team was stretched extremely thin, so- consequences.

Retired: again, in context of "retired from shinobi duty". Majority still have active jobs. Alongside T&I, Ino still runs her flower shop; Tenten sets up a weapons shop right next to it; Shizune is the volunteer hospital head, meaning she doesn't get paid much, and tutors/helps/does paperwork (Sakura is a top medic who occasionally visits for emergencies- she's mostly busy with medical-related missions); Kurenai and The Boys™ teach at the academy; Karui's teammate, Omoi, moved with her to Konoha and he is now the best babysitter in town- though really he mostly looks after Chōchō and Shikadai when their parents are busy. He lives with Karui and her family, they're like siblings.

Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon were all trained under Naruto during the blank period. However, Moegi was the only one able to reach her full potential because she managed to escape the War with no major wounds. She is now currently stronger than Canon Konohamaru Sensei was.

Marriages:

Nara Shikamaru & Nara Temari

Akimichi Choji & Akimichi Karui

Yamanaka Ino & Yamanaka Sai

Uchiha Sasuke & Haruno Sakura

Shinki, Mitsuki, and Kagura were all part of a Transfer Student Project. All willingly went, All are now full citizens.

I really didn't see Metal or any of the other evicted teammates serving a purpose to the Narrative.. Maybe Metal still exists in the future, the others I do not care about I'm sorry.

I just fucking hate Inojin

Kawaki was adopted when Boruto was around one (1) and a half. Himawari wasn't conceived yet.

Jonin Sensei and Teams:

Team Four (4): Shino, Sarada, Kawaki, Boruto

Team Eight (8): Karui, Iwabe, Kagura, Shikadai

Team Seven (7): Anko, Sai, Shinki, Sumire, Chōchō, Mitsuki

[howdoesagrapewrites]

Poly pav and tari with a Deadpool reader I think it would be just pav and reader having forth wall breaks and tari just standing there confused asf

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙��𝙤𝙤𝙡

Cw: killing, reader is a mercenary, sex jokes yet no actual smut, joke about cheating, fourth wall breaks

Notes: Omg I received a Deadpool!reader request, this feels like a rite of passage in the ATSV fandom

>You're a mercenary from Mumbattan, known as Deadpool, and because of certain... Events, you gained a regenerative healing factor, and other added perks. This combined with training, turned into the greatest assassin the world has ever seen! Maybe not the world, but you haven't anyone that can be a proper match for you yet!

>It was another work day, killing some random people, getting dough, your usual

>Then you got your next assignment handed to you

>"FUCKING SPIDER-MAN?!"

>"You can't handle it?" The sketchy guy giving you instructions frowned in annoyance

>"I mean, I'll try, but you better find a way to compensate for the emotional damage too, bro's a sweetheart, I saw him rescue a kitten from a tree the other day!"

>"Oh my god, you're a pain in the ass, can you kill him for" he threw you a sack full of stacks of money "that much? I'll throw an extra stack in there if you shut the fuck up"

>You flashed a smile so bright you could've sworn showed over your mask, "For that money? Anything! Want me to suck your-"

>"You ain't getting that extra stack"

>You stood in the rooftop where your target would be, when he was on patrol, he always stops in this spot for a while

>"This issue has like six pages left- I'm not winning this, am I?"

>Your dashing hero (victim) showed up as usual, he landed and noticed the presence of another masked individual, he asked you to state your intentions

>"Hiiiiii~! Big fan, you'd mind signing this?" Spider-Man looked confused when you handed him a... Photocard? Of himself and a glittery pink pen, but he didn't protest, and awkwardly thanked you

>You excitedly giggled and then saved it in your pocket

>"I'm really sorry, but I'm here to kill you, nothing personal" you took out your katanas and started the chase

>"You're officially the worst fan I've had!" Spider-Man yelled, slightly offended as he swinged away from you

>"I said it was nothing personal!" Even with your mask on, your pouting was audible in your voice

>Your katanas weren't able to slice through the webs as easily, they were sticky and slowing you down, you took out your pistols, but you shooted at the webs, not at him, maybe because you wanted the pleasure of seeing him die, maybe because you craved a good fight, maybe because you wanted to you around with this little spider a little longer

>But to make a long story short, you lost, he had you tied up with his webs and was probably going to call the police

>"Never been the shibari type, but this is kinda-"

>"Who sent you out for me?" Spider-Man asked, completely ignoring your flirty remarks

>"Uh, let me think about it- it was this guy called... King something? They sent a goon, and those guys don't usually do small talk"

>"I'm turning you in if you don't give me names" he seemed intimating to the average person, but you suffer from goofy hoe disorder, and can't take anything seriously

>"I don't remember, and you'll turn me in either way, right? Because you don't kill?"

>"I'm a hero" he states proudly

>"Well, I'm an anti-hero, and I kill all the time, it's no big deal, really, like now. I was killing time so I could run, I sliced your webs minutes ago" You quickly stood up, did a cartwheel and threw yourself off the ledge

>Spider-man ran, but he was unable to catch you, not knowing where you fell

>"In case you want to know, this is plot convenience at its finest! I was definitely going to jail" you explain

>After that, you started hanging out (in his words, harassing) your friendly neighborhood spiderman more often, not with the intention of killing him, but just be around him

>He tried to turn you in multiple times, which made you suspect he was not thrilled with your presence, but friendship takes time

>During this time period, you also bumped into a really pretty girl in the street, you both crashed and accidentally switched phones, you realized it as soon as she apologized and left, maybe a bit sooner...

>But you decided not to go after her, she looks cute and you should shoot your shot

>When you two met up to switch your phones (the right way this time) you made sure to be extra charismatic, she found you amusing

>"I'll see you around, already got your number after all" then you tried your best to look cool while you walked away

>And of course you always told your friend about your everything! On the night, so it was practically a sleep-over with your bestie!

>"So I met this girl~"

>"Does she know you... Terminate people as a job?"

>"Not yet, all she knows is that I'm a lady-killer" you grinned and did finger guns "She has a boyfriend, I'd still hit it though"

>"Oh. My. God can't you spend 5 minutes without saying something morally wrong?! This had been our best conversation yet!"

>"But you've never felt that way, Spidey? That you thought all your heart was poured into one person and then you found out you had sooooo much more to give?" You cocked your head to Spider-Man

>"Is it bad to?" His voice was vulnerable, something strange, you've heard his range from mad, to excited to annoyed, but never like this

>"I don't think so, but again, I'm just your friendly neighborhood Deadpool, maybe I'm too impious to advice you" you put the back of your palm on your forehead, feigning distress. "See, I'm getting close! We're* getting close!" You whisper to the audience

>He ignored your comment, "There's nothing friendly about you" he remarked

>"I'm friendly to you" he looked away and waved goodbye as he swinged to continue patrolling

>I think the first one to make a move on you would be Pavitr, taking advantage of your pulled up mask, you were teasing him and he kissed you out of what could only be described as passionate annoyance, after you continued joking and messing with him.

>You responded very well, throwing your arms in his shoulders to deepen the kiss, but you were stopped as he broke the kiss very quick

>He became really, really awkward after that, and stopped meeting you in the rooftop.

>"I should've killed him the first day, right? You're probably either feeling sad or thinking I'm an idiot, well, I'm not the one sitting glued to their phone stuck in the lamest earth... Sorry, that was out of frustration"

>Kind of "out of your POV" I think Gayatri and Pavitr's relationship would be really troubled, with Pavitr confessing to kissing someone else, and Gayatri admitting she had been harbouring feelings for another person as well

>They both agreed that this new found attraction had not diluted their feelings for each other at all, but they also agreed that (at risk of being hypocritical) it was painful to know your partner had found that spark in someone you had never even met

>Pavitr never told you he was dating someone, he didn't trust you for a long time, since, y'know, you tried to kill him. Do he didn't want to give you a new target

>And when he started to trust you, he didn't want your flirting to go away or become less serious, was it ever serious? Did you actually saw a future in dating someone whose name you don't know?

>You kept looking for Spider-Man for at least a month, for some reason, you cared* you actually cared, even knowing none of this actually matters, because you're fictional and your life bends at the whim of whoever's holding a pencil, you wanted him, like you wanted Gayatri.

>Unlike Pavitr, you never used a fake voice or gave a fuck about a secret identity, you just let him call you Deadpool because it sound cute in his voice

>So when Gayatri introduced you both, it was very evident in Pavitr's face that he knew exactly who you were

>You toyed with him a little though, as payback for ghosting you

>"What do you do for work? Are you some kind of athlete or dancer? You sure look like you run a lot", "Don't mind me, I'm just scared of spiders, they leave and suddenly appear where you least expect them", "Sorry, the dinner would be on me, but you see, I had this gig, it just one job and I blew it for a guy, yes, sad indeed. The worst thing is that I blew my opportunity, when I wanted to blow something else~"

>Gayatri's used to your shameless nature, but Pavitr was stiff and uncomfortable, to which she asked you to stop, thinking you were ignoring his boundaries

>"It's okay... We joke like that" Pavitr managed to blurt out to avoid further misunderstandings

>"You... Know eachother?" Gayatri asked, very confused

>"You could say we met a work"

>"Wait- don't tell me this is..."

>Yeah, it was a funny conversation to have

>Even though cheesy stuff wasn't your forte, you did clarify that your feeling and the things you said were real, as Bd that you'd love if you had the opportunity to date them

>"Now, this is what I call a very happy ending, but I'm sure you want to see more of me, right? I'm way more fun that the other Y/Ns"

>"Who are you talking to?" Gayatri asked

>"Yeah, been meaning to ask you that too" Pavitr added

>"I'm- you won't understand, but they're the people that made this possible" you said, hoping they would stop the questions

>"So they're like god?" Pavitr looked perplex

>"Absolutely not."

[sensitiveheartless]

20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @feralrookie! :D Thank you for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10! (technically, kinda)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

379,547

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Bungou Stray Dogs! It's also the first fandom I've written for, actually. :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is how it feels to take a fall (Dazai goes feral, time shenanigans)

Plate :( (Dazai breaks a plate, experiences emotions)

Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency (Howl's Moving Castle AU)

Chuunyaa's Pawsitively Catastrophic Day (Chuuya is turned into a cat, it's short and pretty much just shenanigans)

Wish in one hand (First fic I wrote, and the first one I posted — Dazai has emotions about handholding)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I've been absolutely terrible at it lately — whenever I'm particularly stressed I start worrying that the negative emotions are going to leak through into what I'm writing and make my tone sound weird, so then I end up turtling in on myself and not saying anything at all, no matter how much I want to engage with people. It's a bad habit, and I want to work on it, so I'm gonna try to catch up on comments! (I treasure every single one of the ones I receive, so for anyone who has left a comment and hasn't gotten a response from me yet, thank you and I am very sorry about my inability to form words in a timely manner skdjfksd)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably An Unsent Letter, since it's pretty much just a short snippet of Dazai being sad while he's leaving the mafia. And even with that one, I have in my head that skk still get together after the four years apart, I just didn't write it. I am dreadful with sad endings — although the ending to "This is how it feels to take a fall" is a little bittersweet, perhaps.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm...I'm gonna say Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency, because it's the one with the longest buildup, so I think it has the most catharsis, at least for me! But I tend to give all of my fics happy endings because, as established, I am a wimp when it comes to hardcore angst. I will say that Zut Alors I Have Missed One is probably a contender for happiest as well, just because that fic had no angst whatsoever and was just Unhinged

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Nope! Everyone's been lovely! I have gotten some for my art, but honestly it was pretty toothless and I couldn't take it seriously lol

9. Do you write smut?

...Yeh. :0 There was an attempt, at least — one fic, and I made it anonymous (so on the extreme off-chance that anyone notices a discrepancy between my total ao3 wordcount listed here and the summed up wordcounts of the fics viewable on my profile, that's why!) It's also another fic I need to finish, I hit my writing roadblock with that one at the same time as all my others, and it's almost doneeee I just need my brain to cooperate >:|

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not any proper crossovers, only things like the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, where I took the settings/plots and put in BSD characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

...Possibly? I'm not actually sure, I've given a couple people permission, but I'm not sure if anything came of that, I haven't heard one way or another :0 I do have a tendency to use puns, which I realize might make things difficult for translations

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not so far — and given how tempestuous my schedule has been, it'll probably be a while before I attempt anything like that! Sounds fun, though

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

...I mean, it's gotta be soukoku, because for all that I've enjoyed a lot of fictional pairings before (for example, Howl and Sophie specifically from the HMC books, Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing — I like bickering duos, what do you know — Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, currently falling down the Hualian rabbithole because I'm reading Heaven Official's Blessing with my friend, and there's lots of other ones), for as much as I like all those, I haven't really had much of an urge to write anything for them.

So, purely in terms of me wanting to mess around with two characters and write them over and over and over again, it's really only skk! They hit the exact right combination of braincells, I guess lololol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Hmmm...honestly, most of my WIPs I still intend to finish at some point or another — first priority being the ones I've already started posting, of course! Although...just due to time constraints, I might not get around to writing the thief!Chuuya/detective!Dazai one I was planning a while back. (and I mean a WHILE lol) I didn't write very much of it, and honestly most of the reason I wanted to write it was for comedy — so maybe I'll turn it into a short comic series instead, because I do think some of the bits were funny :0

16. What are your writing strengths?

That's a hard one; I tend to look more at the ways I want to improve my writing then at what I like about it, and I nitpick just about everything I create, art and writing alike. But if I had to pick something, I would probably say dialogue? That tends to be what I write easiest, at least. I still want to get better at that too, though.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and action scenes. I've been making myself write them more, so I think I'm slowly improving (the Howl AU has been great for that! It pushed me to write all sorts of scenes I wouldn't have normally :D ), but those two things remain what I get bogged down by the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the circumstances, I think? I'd include translations if I did. I do tend to include Japanese honorifics when I'm writing in the canon universe, because there's not really english equivalents and it feels like I'm leaving something out when I just do their names straight — although I did take them out when I was doing the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, just as a setting thing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bungou Stray Dogs — like I mentioned in the ship section, this is the first fandom where I've really felt the urge. Although I did write things when I was little that very blatantly yoinked in various creatures and concepts from the things I was reading and watching, which resulted in stories with pirates and weeping angels and Ringwraiths all running around in the same place. But I didn't usually bother with bringing in actual characters from those pieces of media, or even using the settings, I just made ocs and had them run around in my own made up world.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I like all of them for different reasons, but I think my favorite overall has to be Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and when I started out I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it — so the fact that it's most of the way done (currently chipping away at the epilogue, it is getting to be a LOT of words) makes me really happy. And it's just been so much fun! Writing characters I hadn't before, piecing the world together, working out the magic system, writing Dazai being a mess and Chuuya being cool, it's all been a blast. And I seriously need to finish the epilogue, because the followups are living in my brain and they demand to be freed aksdfjksdjfk

But yeah! I'm not sure how many writers I know on here have already been tagged, so I'll just go open tags on this one! :D If any of y'all write and feel like doing this, then go for it!

[bobbydagen24]

in terms of future story concepts which idea do you think has more potential Poppy and Viva's mom? or Bro zone's parents?

since their both things the fandom often talks about either by just wanting them mentioned so we finally have answers or by actually having them make an appearance and be central to the plot of a future film.

and I can't imagine a future film doing both since that would be way too similar to TBT cramming in new siblings for Both Branch and Poppy in 1 film thus making for a cluttered film that didn't have time for everyone.

so yeah assuming either of these ideas do become plot points in the future which one would you prefer? and what kinda thing would you like them to do with the characters?

in terms of Bro zones parents I've said before but I like the idea of them being dead beats who left when when Branch was either a baby or an egg.

and even when they were around they were crappy parents either neglectful or emotional abusive maybe they forced the kids to be the perfect band Mistreating them in the process hence where JD got that whole attitude from.

and in present day they could maybe come back asking for help from their sons which could cause a bit of drama among the family since Branch could be willing to give them a second chance and want to get to know them. meanwhile the older bros don't want anything to do with them and don't even want to help them out which Branch could see as hypocritical given what the brothers did and the fact he gave them another chance.

I wouldn't want this to be yet another rushed forgiveness story tho so I'd have the brothers begrudgingly agree to help have the parents slowly worm their way in with their kids over the film.

especially Branch given he was too young to remember anything about them but in the end the parents haven't at all changed and once they get what they needed with the help of their sons they betray them and leave them trapped.

and here the bros all finally have a proper conversation about everything Branch maybe says he was just desperate for their family to be complete and normal.

and that he just wanted parents in his life for the first time since he was a little kid just like his Brothers did.

tho this could lead to JD Bruce and Clay and Floyd to a lesser extent finally being fully honest about why they didn't want them back in their lives.

revealing to Branch that everything wasn't as story book perfect in their family before he was born as he seemed to think.

and their parents were always selfish and cruel maybe they actually forced them to start the band simply so they could profit off of them and as I said they were the ones who originally pushed for perfection.

emotionally abusing their kids in the process and eventually after they did leave when Branch was born JD could remark in a guilty way that he followed in their footsteps since it was what he thought he had to do to make their family work.

I like the idea of Brozone's parents being used to show a sorta generational trauma sorta thing with JD and I like the idea of the Bros being given a bit more damage to be honest lol.

it helps to explain their reasons for leaving a little better after they saw JD become like their parents used to be and it gives them some trauma of their own to relate to Branch over.

personally that's how I'd use Bro zone's parents as I feel it'd be pretty silly to have yet another film just about reconnecting with dead beat family members who still get portrayed as decent people despite being selfish and crappy.

frankly the Trolls Team just aren't very good at writing those kinda stories.

anyway as for the idea of Poppy and Viva's mother I'm honestly less filled with ideas personally I don't see her as a story concept having as much potential as Brozone's parents.

maybe if she were used it could be in a similar way she left when Poppy was only a baby and Viva was younger and comes back asking for help while claiming to want her daughters back in her life.

she could turn out to be a villain later on who doesn't give a stuff about her family even after all this time and ultimately she's the main villain of the film.

I just feel less inspired by her because overall the Poppy family dynamic is pretty trouble free even tho Viva and Poppy deffo should have issues with Peppy.

while I'd argue having another movie just about reconnecting and forgiving dead beat family members would be kinda annoying.

it is a possibility that that could be the case and maybe the mother is just made someone who Ran away from responsibility but is back and genuine about wanting another shot.

only thing that would interest me in this idea is maybe giving Poppy some angst out of it tho that would also have to include Viva as well.😅😅😅😅

tho given how Poppy was a baby during the escape and she didn't even remember her own sister the idea of her remembering her own mom wouldn't really make any sense annoyingly.

IDK what do you think?

[enden-agolor]

Hey enden! I just wanted to reach out as I know these are hard times for you. I’ve been wanting to say something and give you some support, but I have never known what to say, so I’m just gonna wing it.

First off, I would like to preface by saying you are an incredibly humble artist and writer. You carry great talent, yet you seem to almost expect people to not notice that. Never forget your talent, and that even something you spill out at 2am will most definitely be praised. You inspire me to create, I have been in a art and writing slump for so long. I got caught up in life and lost the love for it. You’ve lit that spark in me once more and want to get me creating, and most definitely writing, in honor of you!! That’s amazing man. You have some real special talent, and the mcsm fandom alongside others are seriously so so lucky to have you.

Second, I send nothing but love and support to you and your boyfriend. I know everything will work out just as you guys need it to. If she doesn’t get her karma legally, she most definitely will another way. I know you guys are so strong and will pull through with flying colors!! Death of a loved one is never ever easy, and the worst always happens to the best people. Know that none of what happened is your fault, don’t let guilt consume you, and both of you take care of and love yourselves. You guys seriously deserve it.

Lastly, on a less dreary note, I would like to ask if you had any fan fiction prompts for Jesskas? I want to write so bad, but I cannot come up with a proper idea that is really interesting and solid, yanno? I want to write something long, that I can really pour my heart out into. So if you had any tips or story prompts, it would seriously be appreciated, and you of course would get a huge shoutout, as you would with or without helping me since you are such a huge inspiration to me.

Best of wishes Enden!!

This may be a long response, so here-

First off, I suppose you are right when you say I don't really expect people to enjoy the content I create. It's not an easy concept for me to grasp. I have a lot of trouble seeing how people can like my stuff so much, or god even say I'm their favorite mcsm artist when there's so many others out there that carry so much more skill with colors and backgrounds and such. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, but it is an incredibly hard habit to end. It's why I'm so shocked when I see actual fanart of my aus, or god even my writing. I cannot go back and read me own works for the life of me because I just cringe so bad at it, so when people say it's good I really just have to trust them and believe it.

All I could ever dream to do is inspire people to create and grow with their own imagination, so hearing that my stuff has done that sort of thing for you (and others who have told me the same) it brings me so much joy, but it truly is entirely hard to believe that it's me and not someone else being the one to do that. I don't know, but I am very honored to hear this from you. It only inspires me to push myself further and I don't know. Maybe some day I can push my imposter syndrome aside and really get a firm grasp on my full potential and be proud of it.

And thank you for the love and support towards our situation... As the days go by I fear more and more that that woman will get to keep her dog and nothing will come out of this other than we just have to move past it. So I hope you're right when you say she'll get her karma some other way. I've never in my life wished something bad to happen to someone. Not like this... So if karma does catch her, let it be as devastating to her as it was to us.

Now, real life shenanigans aside, we can get to the jesskas stuff 😏

For fanfic prompts, I always suggest exploring canon before getting into anything truly ambitious. If there's a certain scene in the game you'd like to further explore and add on to- do it! Like I've always wanted to write a fic that gets into a deep emotional moment between Jesse and Lukas after Jesse rescues Lukas and Petra from the Nether during episode 8 and they all enter the player dorms for the night. Just those off screen moments where you can take the characters and add more to the story is easy and fun in itself. I always like to look deep into the emotional aspect of it all, and really dive into how the characters might be feeling after a situation and how that gentle moment alone together could bring them closer. What I already mentioned being a good example because it's directly after PAMA, Jesse having to watch Lukas and Petra(or Ivor) die, and so on. There's a LOT of feelings to explore there. If that's something you'd want to try and tackle, go for it!! But if there's another scene from the game that really sticks out to you that you feel could be so much more, go for that too. It's good to start small and practice how you want to write the characters. Only reason I started a huge fic like Recovery straight away was because I'd been rping jesskas for like a year and a half already and was confident I knew how to write the characters and I wanted to do more for the little community by writing a nice big fic.

And again, it's Minecraft. There's a whole world to explore and put these two right in the middle of it. Think up certain scenarios you like and add on to it! Like if there's a certain scene you really want to do, build to it. Give the characters a goal and put obstacles in the way so you can really flesh them out on the way to that goal. What made them want to go there? How do they get there? What do they do when they get there? How do they communicate with others that might also be there? And how differently do they treat eachother compared to how they treat the others? Those are all things you really want to know ahead of time. Also pay attention to the scenery. Really look into the visuals your mind creates and do your best to get into the details about it all. There's a lot to get into with writing, and the best part about it is you're in complete control, so go crazy with your imagination, especially since it's Minecraft. It could be entirely self indulgent, or even something out of your comfort zone. No matter what it is, it's still growth and it's still progress to being a better writer. Just make sure you're having fun.

Also, thanks for taking the time to send this ask. I appreciate you 🩷

[jacqulinetan]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged!!!! thank you @ursae-minoris-world, you're truly so so kind to think of me.

I'll be real honest, I'm only on tumblr very intermittently and I don't really know how to use the platform at all. I'm scared that my formatting will be really messy and make people angry if I put a wall of text on their feed. So hopefully I figure out how to do the jump cut. But I just finished a fic so it's very fun to do one of these and talk about my writing. And I always like to see other people too, so I thought, hey I will give it a shot. Here's the questions:

How many works do you have on ao3? Right now I just finished my 74th work on ao3! Fifty four of those are vld, twenty four are sheith proper

2. What's your total word count on ao3? 993,716 words. I'm set to hit a million this year, I think!

3. What fandoms do you write for? LOL can you believe it? We're still loving Mr. Keith Voltron in the glorious year of our lord 2024

4. What are your top five fic by kudos? Oh well, my sk friends aren't going to be impressed--- my kl fics always take top spots for kudos and bookmarks. I attribute this not to talent or popularity but just because that side of the fandom has a much wider reach. For the sake of the questionnaire, I'll answer properly, in order: 'it's you that's haunting me' takes the top spot by a wide margin at 2,591 kudos to date. 'that mullet, etc' is currently at 1,788 kudos, and after that it's 'cross my heart,' 'swapping out silence,' and 'things that go bump in the night.'

5. Do you respond to comments? I do! for me, one of the best parts of fic is the community between authors and their audience. For the majority of my fandom life I've considered myself more of a reader than a writer, so I really treasure it when I leave a comment and an author responds. It's so special. As an author, I do respond to every comment, though sometimes it takes me a long time. I'm always so impressed that people are not only reading my words but digesting them and thinking on them too. It's wild to me. A very precious gift.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, my friend, that fic is yet to come. the wip I've got on my closest back burner has a real humdinger of an angsty ending. I'm excited about it. hmmmm if I had to answer now.....I'm not sure! usually I'm a happy ending kind of girl

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? well well well, now I have to answer this one properly don't I? Are we thinking happiest like 'biggest emotional pay off for the reader'? Or happiest like 'Keith is wildly happy' by the end? I think 'heart nailed open' has a very good emotional pay off (though I wrote it so perhaps I can't judge too well on behalf of the reader). If I am really thinking, in which fic is Keith truly the happiest he could ever be by the end...well, I try always to make Keith happy but, in 'the whole story' he has everything he could ever want AND a very nice couch.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not routinely. I did, actually, get a very nasty comment on a fic in 2023 and it legitimately hurt my feelings. Made me feel like I should not be writing at all, actually. But, can you believe it? Friends came out of the woodwork-- people I rarely talk to, even-- and jumped in my comments section and really defended me. like, I really had all kinds of people on my side, defending me! So that meant a lot to me, and I was honestly so surprised, and I'd like to give every one of those friends the kindest hand press because I really did feel very taken care of in the aftermath.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh, I don't know! I have plenty of E rated fics but I don't know if I will ever master a true PWP. to me, the sex scenes I write are not so original or exciting, nothing to really write home about lol. I'm not a fan of publicly being negative about my stuff, so I will simply say that I wish I could write some really off beat toe curling wild kink, but it's probably just not my personality to do so LOL

Is this getting really long?? should I be embarrassed ? should I close the tab and never think on this again? hmmm no

10. Do you write cross overs? Cross overs with what, my dear? There's only one Keith

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Oh I think 'it's you that's haunting me' strolled on over to wattpad or some such site without my permission back in the day, but I've never really looked into it. What I don't know cannot hurt me, right? I highly doubt that there's been some crazy highway robbery for perfchan words.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I don't think I have! But I did have someone ask to record a podfic for one of my stories, and I was so flattered and thrilled!!!!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope! I don't have much interest in this, I am very shy about my writing and I fear I would be too cagey to be a very good collaborator.

14. what's your all time favorite ship? Keith x Being Loved and Cherished the Way He Ought to Be

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? (covers face) I don't have any unfinished WIPs.... it's not in my Type A personality to leave things undone.....

16. What are your writing strengths? This is something to really ponder!!! What /are/ my strengths!!! huh!!! well. I figured out early on that my favorite things to write are atmospheric and setting heavy -- both my most popular fic (it's you that's haunting me) and my most personally beloved fic (heart nailed open) have this in common: they have a lot of detail about the setting, and a lot of effort put into ~vibes~ of the story. so I think, if I could be self indulgent and chose which writing bits I'm good at, it's that type of thing. I really like crafting a scene you can settle into with all of your senses

17. what are your writing weaknesses? too many to list!!! I very often read my own writing and I always enjoy it (I wrote it for myself afterall) but sometimes I wonder....why did I spend so long on this particular bit? I think I am not very good at making a story tight. I wish I could master the art of being able to 'trim the fat' so to speak, really be precise with the story, but I simply don't have the chops! I can never understand how to make it better than I already have! perhaps if I keep writing long enough, I will get better at this

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? this question would really open up a can of worms on the kl side of the fandom LOL. I will admit it, I've had Lance speak spanish a time or two. I don't speak spanish myself so in those rare instances I have been VERY careful to keep things straightforward and try really really hard to not be cringe worthy to native speakers

19. First fandom you wrote for? the first thing I posted online was a USUK fic in a hetalia LJ comm. I can distinctly remember the first time I ever read a fic with *there was only one bed* (it was usuk) and WHEN I TELL YOU MY EYES WERE OPENED. I was forever changed on that day. of course I wanted to try my hand at writing after that

20. Favorite fic you've written? You would ask me to chose a favorite of my children!!! Oh! I simply could not!!! No, seriously, it's 'heart nailed open.' I love that fic

This got so long !!!!!! I can't imagine anyone reading all this !!!!!!!! but omg if you did thank you!!!!!! I'm shy about tagging people in the best of times, and like I said at the very beginning, I am very very shaky on tumblr etiquette, so I had better not tag anyone. but if my friends enemytosleep or grem or kacy or monday happen to see this, I would be very excited to read your responses!!! okay bye!!

[shadowkira]

Today is one of those bad brain days where I feel lonely and am definitely feeling the burn out.

I went two weeks without a proper break at work, I really could not be on my phone at work for like... At least a month, if not longer... Wife and I are on different sleep schedules and while I miss my family... with the looming election and their political views I am not really interested in expending what little energy I have to go and see them atm.

I felt very defeated coming home and once again having no parking... and on the walk from the car to the house had the dawning realization very randomly that I get it. I randomly realized when I was younger I had no idea how someone so funny and seemingly happy like Robin Williams could take his life.

No, i am not suicidal. But I am so incredibly sad and burnt out and yet spend most days anymore just literally trying to make people smile and laugh because otherwise I feel like I can't. Beyond my wife and small family, that is my joy right now. And I feel like I can't even really enjoy it.

I find myself reading every comment but can't bring myself to strike up conversation. Or, if I respond it is not usually to carry conversation. I don't feel like I really know how to do that right now, unless it's customer service me. The performative bullshit I can do. I say that but really it is because I care. I have considered lately, if the emotional tax of my current job is too high. I feel like it's contributing to these issues. To this bone deep fatigue that seems to follow me every day and that seems to be getting worse.

I've interacted with some funny and very talented people and feel like just social fumble after social fumble the last few years. And got more and more, this since moving to the city.

Maybe we'll get lucky and catch a break with an apartment back where I am from soon. Or maybe get lucky with my wife's attempts to get disability.

Yall are cool and fun. I hope you're doing well if you read this far. Just needed to thought dump somewhere after smoking. I do miss fandom I'm just so bad at being a person right now.

I did just text someone, which feels like a monumental feat. Hopefully, I can put effort into reconnecting with friends and family... Maybe work through some of this.

I have felt accomplished the last two days, going to bed and waking up earlier. Getting things done before work... but I feel like this won't be sustainable. I honestly might fuck up tonight with how off I feel. :/

[chickpea0]

Going to be real for a sec, just thinking outloud because I know this is a safe place and I need to get thoughts out. Veeerry long! Not a vent just a brain dump. do not bother reading this unless youre really reallyyy into biographies lol this is literally 1,915 words

I'm stuck inbetween minds at the moment. I keep asking myself if regression, or dreaming, isn't really for me. I found agere and petre when I was very young, about 14; it piqued my interest because I'm a very curious person, interested in different lifestyles and ways to explore the self but I also think that because I was just coming out of childhood even though I thought my childhood had ended years before. I was just growing out of being a tween and at that stage in life, it's really startling going from childhood to seemingly adulthood overnight and it's quite natural and common for people to want to cling onto things when everything is being shaken up like that.

Intamacy with people, vulnerability and emotional closeness is always somethign I've struggled with and felt like it was just out of reach so the idea of allowing myself to be back at a stage where I was raw, authentic and less closed up was really really appealing. Plus, the idea of people understanding that and guiding me and just being around me would mean they *really* like me and they're not just there because they have to be, even though I've never had a caregiver though I have had like 2 online friendships where I could be baby around them which felt quite good but I never quite felt satisfied. probably because it was online and neither laster over 3 months. I'm practically always masking and the idea of being weird (I mean this without negative connotation) and expressive really sounded amazing. I have also always always always wanted to be apart of a community but I just never have. No clubs or hobbies that made me feel welcome growing up, no proper friend groups that made made me feel at home, I think I've been in a lot of fandom/online community spaces just because I wanted to feel apart of something though because I was never able to contribute it just felt like a one-way mirror.

So!! I find a lovely community like this! With a focus on mental health, togetherness, working through things and taking time to appriciate things, it's great! I love you guys! I can even make moodboards and little posts and I have a cg blog and a slightly bigger blog where I help boost creators on here. I have mutuals!!!!! People follow me!!! We talk on tags and comments!!! I feel like I have insider knowledge and experience because I've had a lot of oppertuinty to reflect on life and mental health and even on regression itself. But thing is I do not regress often at all. When I do it's for split seconds. When I'm really sleepy, when I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable, if I'm having a weird spacey day. I'm not sure if it's more dissociation or a sudden wave of emotion or what. I think I'm just generally an immature person some times. I haven't grown up yet, I'm only an adolescent. It's not something I want to force because forcing things like this, especially if it is dissociation, can be pretty bad for your brain. Age dreaming is a different thing though.

For me I'm between a rock and a hardplace. I do not feel like I regress organically enough to be on here nearly as much as I am. I'm so tense that I feel like I can't relax or open up enough to enjoy even age dreaming. Brainfog, sure! But it's not regression. I also do not want to edge too far and go into maladaptive nostalgia terratory. I feel, lately, like I kind of need to say goodbye and thank you to my childhood but it's over now and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I think there's such a focus- everywhere online not just here- on "how good" the old days were. People making heart wrenching nostalgia edits with slowed minecraft music and ambient noise just to rake in veiws and to pull at your own heartstrings. It's natural to seek solace and yearn for something that was so familiar and safe especially at a time where not only is daily life changing for the individual but also for society at large. But rose tinted glasses are not accurate and can be dangerous. Nostalgia should be something that makes you feel light and refreshed. When you hear a song that you haven't heard in years and go 'oh! I remeber! I remember what my brain was like back then' and smile and move on. Maybe taking inspiration from it.

But.

I feel like my nervous system is so fried that making any progess is really draining and proper healthy coping mechanisms never seem to stick. I also feel very isolated, having no irl friends at the moment and not having any purpose like education, work, volonteering, passions, whatever. These are all things I have experienced for well over a decade which is... obviously a very large chunk of my life so far. So I really do need something to fill my life with, a familer space with familiar ideals and stuff. You guys are great. You have such refreshing takes and it just feels so calm and kind here. At the end of the day despite feeling a bit repetative at this point for me, I do enjoy looking at life through this lense. This place has not changed much at all since I started my blog in 2021. It's honestly one of the most consistant things in my day to day life! God. even the streets are changing but it's nice to know I can log on here if I need some reliability.

And thing is, I don't know if it's related to my ASD or my trauma or lack of experience in the world or none of those but I just feel a few steps behind my peers. They are all acting on their life plans or getting out and being social or enjoying new relationships. And I'm perfectly fine taking things at my own pace and growing in my own way but I just don't fit in really. I genuinely feel like I'll hit my stride in my mid twenties or older. Not because I'll have more qualifications or be high up in a career, I just feel like that is when I'll really start knowing and feeling like myself. That's the age when people generally start to figure things out. Basically, I like it here because I feel like I'm in a more similar life state. my focus is on getting through the day and making my own steps. I'm fine as long as I'm growing even if I'm burnt out lmao. Healing for over a decade drains you and I feel like my mental capacity is so small at the moment because of it. Like. I can't pick up a book or a new hobby or a job whatever because ALL of my bodily, mental, spiritual, emotional energies are going into mending and stuff. I feel like a 29 year old preschooler lol. 5 o'clock shadow and a sippy cup. haha. I like it here because it's like easy mode. it's like a holiday for your brain.

I'm honestly not sure what the point I started off with was. I have sooo many thoughts swirling in my head. At the end of the day I feel so burnt out and like I said, with such a small bandwidth that I feel like even regressing or dreaming or even just thinking about it is too much. Like. I used to cope and regulate by imagining scenarios in my head, like fanfics in my brain when I needed a little comfort but now I just can't! I can't imagine myself with a dream job or in a fantasy world or kissing someone cute, I just don't have it in me. It's not like I'm super low or anything, I'm actually generally pretty stable at the moment. I think what I want right now is to not feel alone. I don't want a relationship per se, not sure if it'd be fair to start something with someone but having a nice social circle would be a big relief. I can't remember ever really... having that. I guess I'm esoteric, with a full plate. I had a nice group of friends in college for about 2 years but thats dead now, we got on each others nerves at the end. But it was nice while it lasted. Imaging having a caregiver or being one is one of the only ways I can barely scratch that itch of wanting to rely on someone. Like. It's so deep at the moment, wanting comfort and all that, that "normal" soloutions to that just don't hit hard enough. Like I could imagine having a really nice friend group but irl I would need to be in a healthy friendship for quite a while before it started fulfilling that need, so imagining someone coddling me like I am a child, like I am something to be cherished, not just valued but cherished, that hits harder. thats nicer to think about. also also also co regulation + company is something i really desire.

I feel like I am so entwined with this community, more than anything else these days. It's sort of got a grip on me. and i dont know how i feel about that. none of you guys know me. i have mutuals, nice mutuals and people who are in my notes but none of you actually know me. i think maybe this place is more of a fantasy than a reality for me. and that tells me i need to distance myself but what else do i have?

I've tried taking a break before, you might remember, it only ended up being a few months but it was nice to come back.

right thats basically it. I assume if you've made it this far, seeing as I'm not even writing to anyone I'm just emptying my brain, I assume you're a very curious person. Someone who likes to feel involved. Like meeee. If anyone has any advice or sage wisdom or anything you want to say at all, please go ahead. This post is basically a bunch of thoughts with little resolve. This isn't really something I want to bring up with my therapist because onneee, I'm embarrassed, twwwooo she has most likely no idea of what age regression this, in this context. like. the age regression they talk about in regard to mental and psychological contexts, its pretty different to all this. anyway. i have other things in therapy to talk about lol maybe one day ill bring up that i feel like a small child in certain situations but let her lead that conversation. ah so.

yeah like. yeah. hi. if this resonates, im glad you found that. yeah. yeahhh i dont know. i have a lot of stuff going on. nothing in my life is straight forward. hence the... want to simplify things. I'm really tired now, wow!

to conclude, I'm a baby not necessarily a regessor. I'm running on fumes. i have a weird relationship with agere and im very hot and cold about it. goo goo ga ga but also i want to be respected and seen as a capable adult. i need a hobby. i need to rest but blehhhhh.

Here's a puppy as a treat for reading it all

[chevelleneech]

"Because from the outside it seems like such a serious commitment when you think about how serious the military is."

Apart from jkkrs this is thef first time I'm seeing someone actually acknowledge the importance of the companion system and jm and jk using that for their military service. you might be jkk biased idk anything about you so...at the end it might be coming from a jkk bias at the end but i love that.

Don't get me wrong but when jkk's enlistmemt news hit the tl i saw only the same 3 big army accts talk about how big that is all others were busy making their typical tweets plus "how dare you separate vmin", "how dare you separate taekook", "return hobi his jm back" like okay i get the sentiment but where is anyone acknowledging the fact that jkk will be together? nowhere. saw few About jikook having jin to guide them but there was nothing specific for jkk ever acknowledged. but given the fandom's record it's nothing surprising how they hardly would acknowledge jikook's moments like that.

Idk how it looks from outside cause I'm quite a jkkr (not the one who belives they're dating cause i personally don't think so but yeah they're my bias) so for me it indeed seems important for them. if we look at all these yrs of jm providing comfort to jungkook, how jungkook would chose jm as the hyung that gives him comfort the most, and how jm would always say that he feels protected and comfortable around jungkook their decision makes sense. tbh the news was a shock to me cause i like other jkkrs always thought jm would enlist months before jk's MS so it was shocking. But if you know the history then it shouldn't surprise you.

Jkkrs say not even military can keep them apart and if you think then they haven't been apart from eachother for longer since the time the first met. not saying haven't been apart enjoying their time with other ppl cause they did but they somehow always want to be present in eachother's business lol. Even when they left the dorm jkk were one the members who left it last when some members left it early. This was the time where they definitely could have taken break from being around same ppl all the time yet they said nope.

They're also the only idols that come up when you search for "idols that have used Buddy program" so it is interesting. Other members do casually shows up here n there post things yet we Hardly hear from them both. willingly choosing to go to frontline because you're using buddy prgrm is also something. I'd rather let my fate decide where i land my training in sk than willingly go to the dangerous part of borders. but if i had the chance to do my MS with the person who is my emotional support and is my comfort I'll take it in a sec.

I don't think we'll ever get the proper in depth answer to the question, maybe they'll say that since they're the ones with tattoes they decided to go together. i mean even if tattoed there's many options open for them, far well than the frontline and as you said saying (them telling us) they needed most emotional support wont look good on them so i know they won't be too deep with their answer. They're too private like that.

Thanks for your beautiful posts.

Hello!

Just to put it out there, I am army, so I’m pretty deep in the trenches of Jikook. I don’t know if I think they’re dating with 100% certainty, but I am someone who doesn’t understand why people think it’s impossible. They grew up together, work together, and clearly really enjoy each other's company seemingly more than they do their other members. That obviously doesn’t equal romance, but acting like assuming they’re together is gross or ridiculous, it’s stupid. People date their friends and coworkers every single day. Celebrities more than anyone else, so why would presumed queer people be any different?

As for the rest, I’m glad you liked what I said! You also seem to be the only person who really got what I was trying to say. It’s clear JM and JK care deeply for each other and find comfort in one another, so them choosing the buddy system makes sense on the surface, but it doesn’t really explain anything. Which they aren’t obligated to do, but them making such a choice is a big deal when they had other options. So why make such a serious choice? What was the catalyst, when their friendships with other members are equally as important to them? What was it about their bond that caused them to decide, “We can’t do this alone like the rest of them. We have to do this together.”

Was it just them being close friends? Was it mental health related? Was it romance related? Was it work related? We’ll never know. We just know they’ve always been there for each other, and enlistment didn’t change that, no matter the missing (for us) context.

[andavs]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @thekristen999

How many works do you have on ao3? 21

What's your total ao3 word count? 380,201

What fandoms do you write for? Working on some 911 that I haven’t actually posted yet, and Teen Wolf, which has shifted to the back burner because Eddie Diaz took over my brain.

Top five fics by kudos: A Crooked Way to Fly Tabula Rasa Gift Trapped From Ashes The Guard and Red

Do you respond to comments? I fully intend to. And then my inbox is full of comment notifications from six years ago. I'm sorry I know I suck!!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don’t think I’ve written an angsty ending? 

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them, I think.

Do you get hate on fics? Occasionally someone will say they didn’t like the ending of Tabula Rasa, but that’s it. And I get it.

Do you write smut? Nah. Once I found out that the actors had seen my art (for both Teen Wolf and 911), that fourth wall imploded in my mind and now it makes me too uncomfortable.

Craziest crossover: I haven’t done proper crossovers, but I did a Sterek Shrek AU one time that was unexpected.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of. Someone once took a sketch, colored it in, and reposted it as their OCs, but that’s the closest.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I think so? I know people have asked to translate them, but I never actually checked after.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? As in putting my own words in a doc, no. But @petals42 and I collaborated a lot with brainstorming and plotting, and then she did the writing and I did the art.

All time favourite ship? To write? Tied between Sterek and Buddie. But I also love Veronica and Logan from Veronica Mars, and John and Aeryn in Farscape, even though I’ve never wanted to write or really read fic for them.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My Teen Wolf season one rewrite! Stiles is Derek’s age and a deputy, and he and Derek knew each other in high school. I still love it, it was just a monster and I haven’t been in that mode for a long time. I still have hope! I want to! If only for my own satisfaction.

What are your writing strengths? I’ve been told I’m pretty good at in character dialogue, at least with Stiles’ voice, and that’s the part I enjoy the most.

What are your writing weaknesses? Descriptions and like…actual, genuine emotions, I think. Whenever I try to write the heavier stuff, it feels way too melodramatic and then I cut it way back to the point where it’s basically gone.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If there’s plenty of context around it so you can get the gist of what they’re saying, then it’s okay. Like in Oceans how Yen never speaks a word of English, but everyone else’s responses tell you what he was saying. Otherwise I tend to prefer things like, “He said in Spanish,” or “They argued in Spanish for a minute.” 

First fandom you wrote in? Either Alex Rider or School of Rock. 😬

Favourite fic you've written? I still really like this outsider pov fic. I fucking love outsider pov. I have a 911 outsider pov that’s been mostly done for like two years, but then I realized the actual team isn’t in it enough to make people want to read it, so it's just kind of sitting there.

Tagging: @kitkatpancakestack @wellhalesbells @mad-madam-m @tawaifeddiediaz @cinematicnomad @zainclaw

[friedfriedchicken]

2, 8, 16 and 23 :333

FANDOM ASK GAME- GO💥💥💥 Using Transformers with this because you're a TF fan too

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like

I'm fond of the idea that Seekers are a distinct yet naturally occuring type of Transformer. I was VERY iffy on that headcanon at first because a lot of people presenting it went about the concept in ways that made me unsure and kind of worried (LOTS of woobification and borderline racist approaches there) but the idea of toys that were formed from the same mold becoming characters who identify with one another is such a warm thought to me. I also really like the older term 'Skyraiders' a lot and I kinda hope the name makes a return. Also also I wish people were more unique with Seeker concepts instead of copy-and-pasting "they're BIRD robots" because oml- THERE'RE MULTIPLE KINDS OF BIRDS <- Bird owner that used to work at a bird store who based her fan continuity Seeker headcanons off of ducks, mineral formations, and insects

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___

Beast Wars II. Your honor, I love the goofy animal show where there's TWO 'Megatrons' and Starscream is actually so normal it's funny. Also Tasmania Kid and the Insectrons are all my sons. I'm so sad that all these characters have only reappeared as background filler for the 30+ years since their release. Ironically, Scylla (ugly anime girl who is a simp trope 😔) is one of the few members of the cast who has become reoccuring and literally she is so pretty and she deserves that win. If Rise of the Beasts gets a proper sequel that brings in more beast Transformers, PLEASE I would love to see some BWII bots come back.

16. a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

As little as it was, I wish more people were aware of IDW1's approach to crying. IDW1 does it's best to cement the idea that the Transformers are alien robots (which I love!) but they still humanized Windblade's grief by showing her crying over Chela's death. The writer went on to explain that Transformers don't 'cry', but Windblade was so overwhelmed with emotion that the 'film' on her eyes 'melted' and honestly that's so cool??? Waiter! More roboticization of human traits please! /ref

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

I have irl mutuals who are super into Bungou Stray Dogs and while it seems right up my ally, I just can't bring myself to start reading it even though I really want to. If Gaston Leroux winds up being a character I will speedread BSD