#like i’m not neurodivergent in a way that would result in that

[mapsareforbraindeads]

god i can’t stop thinking about it. wtf

[wibble-wobbegong]

i need to meet another schizo and see if our neurodivergency clicks the way the other ones click with each other . im Failing at being nd bro

[gladiatorcunt]

- # GIVE A FLY SOME HONEY !!

all roads lead to death valley

cw: southern setting & accents, sui ideation/thoughts, protected sex (are you proud of me), dead dove ending and undertones, sort of ambiguous, virgin cowboy!anakin x virgin afab!reader, ROTS coded!anakin, r2’s a horse, the force is in place of the christian God and is referred to as such at times, star wars being a fictional franchise in a star wars au fic, weird mix of a farm and a ranch, spanking, clit slapping, biting, reader’s inner freak has some crazy thoughts, mentions of humiliation and collaring/choking, anakin murders somebody (one scene of violence), what a heat advisory and the south’s sex education does to a mf, implied plus size and neurodivergent!reader, kidnapping????????????, mention of drugs, reader has a lot of internalized shame about where they’re from

wc: 4.2k (unedited)

what if instead of star wars it was called 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 wars

consider commissioning me!

Your unlucky streak rears its ugly head yet again. June was already shaping up to be a hot month, and your junkyard car wouldn’t start. You’re used to driving long stretches of road with nothing but livestock in fields to gawk at, it comes with the territory. But you couldn’t afford gas and decided to push your luck on the way back home, nevermind that the drive would be at least 20 hours. Moving to the city had its drawbacks, the road trip to and back being one of them.

“No, no. Come on, please work. Do you need me to fucking sing to you or something?” You groan, fruitlessly twisting your key in the ignition over and over.

Nope, “Tough shit.” Your engine mocks, death coughs sputtering out one after the other.

“ ‘You havin’ trouble?” A masculine voice shouts from behind you.

You get startled by the sound and gracefully slam your head up into the roof of the car as you turn around. You must look like quite the sight, clutching your now throbbing head and stumbling out of your broken down hand-me-down car on a long open road. Once you’ve blinked enough to adjust to the harsh sunlight, your eyes land on a tall muscular figure riding a horse. The clip clop of the horse’s dirty hooves on the gravel pierce your ears but the gentle sway of the man’s fluffy hair softens the blow.

“Um…. yes, sir. I am actually. My…. my car won’t start and I’m all out of gas.” You burn with embarrassment as you get through your explanation, trying your hardest not to throw up from the sheer social anxiety.

“Well that ain’t no biggy, I think I can help with that.” The man cocks his head and hops down from the horse, a white stallion with a few faded black-gray spots here and there. “Stay here, R2.”

You’re standing there dumbly, ignoring the tiny rocks digging into your shoes and the pounding in your skull as the cowboy wanders up to you. The sun bounces off his dark hat in a way that gives him a sort of halo, and you gape like a fish when he tips it down at you in a silent greeting, reaching out to shake your hand after. The silver spurs on his boots reflect sunlight directly onto your face, so you miss his open palm the first time.

His hand is rough, you can feel numerous old scrapes and cuts when you accept the gesture. But it’s so much bigger than yours, and there’s strange heat coming from his skin that you’re hesitant to pin on the southern summer sun. Too handsome, in a way that just can’t be possible, you quickly swipe a fingertip over his ring finger during the handshake and The Force must be looking out for you because there’s no ring. Not that you’re seeking anything out, but in the town you’re from, you’re lucky if anyone makes it past 18 without having a baby and getting hitched as a result.

Anakin tinkers away at your car for over an hour, finding more problems than just a lack of gas. Eventually he determines that you’ll die in this heat before you can back on the road, so he asks you to accompany him back to his ranch and he’ll send out one of his employees to bring your car around. You try to show him that you’re listening by ‘hm’-ing and nodding every so often, but it’s hard to rip your eyes away from a very attractive man bent over and sweaty while he’s fixing your car. You definitely do not want to cry when his flannel lifts up as he wipes the sweat on his forehead away with his greasy hand, revealing the slight softness over his muscles.

Since your car was no longer an option, Anakin grins as he gestures towards his horse, “R2’s a good horse, won’t give you any trouble. He likes to make a lot of noise and has an… acquired sense of humor, but I reckon we’ll get back just fine.”

He has you practice getting off and on the horse for a good while, the next step is letting you adjust to the feeling of being on one. You’d be embarrassed that Anakin’s having to teach you how to ride but his hands curl around your waist, keeping you steady and whispering in your ear to not be so stiff. Horses can smell fear after all, it’d suck to not only have your car be broken but your bones too. It’s a scene straight out of a cheesy romance novel, the kind that’s a tiny yellowed book sold almost exclusively in run down gas stations with a cover not far off from a porno.

Your cheeks are burning the entire way to the ranch, you relax as much as you can on an animal that’s a few hundred pounds of muscle with a searing hot body pressed right up against you from behind. It doesn't take long to get to your destination though, and before you know it sprawling fields bracket a mid size homey wooden building. There are some smaller pens for the cows to stay in and you follow their movement as an employee unlatches the gate and leads them out towards the left most field.

“They gotta switch pastures every so often.” He informs you, urging his horse into an energetic trot, “And it’s a good rule of thumb to have about an acre per cow.”

You tighten your hold on the reins and try not to focus on your fear of falling off. The pace of R2 isn’t one that you struggle to match but then again this is the first time you’ve ever ridden a horse in a long time. You’ve always been too skittish to do it regularly, and when you moved you got rid of the hobby entirely. You take a deep breath and let the horse’s movements travel through you, coming to enjoy the gentle jostling as you go. Anakin keeps his hands around yours on the reigns, making sure you don’t panic and seize up. R2’s not really beginner friendly unless he likes his rider, he has a tendency to just whinny and take off when the spirit moves him.

“The Force has done me good and given me a nice house on nice land, but it don’t mean nothin’ if i’m all by my lonesome. Ever since my dad passed and my ma’ died a few years after that, the workers and the cows are all I got, plus R2 of course.”

All right, he sinks into the jargon a little too much, but the way the sun accentuates the scar on his cheek makes it a charming quirk. You want to lick his teeth when he smiles, you think, before blaming it on an oncoming heatstroke. You’re no better than a man in this moment, and if you had seen him soaking up all of the attention in a crowded room in a bar you’d have no business being in, you like to think that you could pull him. You play with the slightly waxy feel of the leather reins, allowing the sensation of coarseness in the stitching to overpower any coherent thought.

“Why’d you name your horse R2?” You ask, ducking your head as you feel him guide the animal towards the stables.

“Oh uh, I was real wild over these sci fi movies from back when I was a kid. The hero had this robot called R2-D2, and I guess it just stuck with me.” He answers you with a shrug and a mild blush, curving his fingers around yours.

Your stomach warms at the feeling, but you refrain from returning the gesture, he probably isn’t even thinking that deeply about what he’s doing. He’s not obsessing over every square inch of skin that comes into contact with his own, not like you. You’re already missing the comforting weight of Anakin’s herculean body when he’s pulling the reins to stop R2 and hopping off, clamping his big hands around your waist and helping you down. You wobble for a bit and find your footing before you can pick up on how he momentarily froze in front of you, anticipating an easy opportunity to touch you again. Force, you really are stupid, bless your heart.

You glance up at him and start to say something but then you hear rustling in the bushes, Anakin must hear it too because before you can tug on his sleeve and tell him, he’s pulling his revolver out from its holster and striding off towards the sound. You’re quick to learn that he has a bit of a one track mind, especially when it comes to indulging the serpent twisting in between his ribs like a switchblade.

“I’ll be damned…”

You’re supposed to head inside and awkwardly linger around until your car is in good enough condition to get you back to Coruscant. The only thing is, you’ve now found yourself without your new security blanket, and your curiosity agrees with how much you don’t fucking want to speak to any of the people here without Anakin to hide behind. R2 loudly chuffs at you from his stall in the stables, either saying “That’s just how he is, leave him be!” or "What are you doing? You should obviously go after him!” You choose to believe it’s the latter, so you wander off into the distance, following Anakin’s lead.

You catch up to him quicker than you thought you would, and you have half a mind to scold him like a child if you weren’t catching your breath. All you can see is his wide shoulders because he’s hunched over something, your heartbeat quickens when you spot his gun being pointed at something. You circle around him to find a man squirming on the ground like a toddler, twitching every so often. Anakin seems almost enthralled by the desperate display, so he doesn’t notice you until you gingerly place a hand on his shoulder, soft and looking to soothe. Later you won’t remember the blood on the man’s temple or the matching stain on the muzzle of Anakin’s gun, because you didn’t witness that part.

He snaps out of it, turning his head to nuzzle his nose against your knuckles, “ ‘s alright, sweetheart, just a meth head too out of his mind to watch where he’s goin’. Had a knife with him, probably lookin’ to rob somebody blind.”

Your eyes flicker between him and the man, fully aware of how common stuff like drug addicts trespassing is and the old fashioned black and red ‘Trespassers Will Be Shot On Sight’ sign. You’ve grown up around guns, you’re more used to hearing them in a hunting or taking shots at beer bottles kind of way, but it’s not like Anakin’s the only one to have that kind of self enforced rule when it comes to his property. Still… killing a human man is different than making use out of a successful deer hunt, right?

“Maybe we should call the cops, he can’t hurt nobody like that…” You try to reason, casting a pitiful glance towards the cowering man.

There’s a scratch on Anakin’s face that’s still bleeding from the knife the guy had used before Anakin took it, it just barely missed his right eye, he could’ve lost it. You’ll ask to help him with it when you get back to the ranch, but you know that there’s no seeing to it right now. You don’t want to risk an infection just so you could brush your thumb across the wound, you’re not even sure why you want to, it’s like the urge just materialized in your head out of thin fog. Anakin gently shrugs your hand off and uses his free one to pull you against his chest, and it’s like you’re back on his horse, that same fear entwined with exhilaration like barbed wire. Your hearts are beating at the same pace, some folks say that’s how you know it’s love, that’s how you know it’s fate.

“You don’t got the stuff in ya to be a killer, that’s just fine, darlin’. ‘Cause I sure do.” His words dissolve into a previously unknown to you cold sneer.

Anakin clamps a burly, sweaty hand over your eyes as he empties the entire magnum into the tresspasser’s skull. The bright sun bounces off the brim of his hat, casting a shadow over his stormy eyes. He may not have let you witness the massacre, but you will never forget the sickening yelps the poor bastard gave to Anakin like prayer. And then he got put down in a more inhumane fashion than if he were a rabid dog. To your gracious host, there’s probably not a whole lick of difference. Between a wanderin’ sap and a deranged mutt, that is.

But there’s a far off expression on his face, maybe he was once at risk of having two bullets in his temple at the hands of someone unforgiving.

“Welp.” Anakin exclaims, making a point of slapping his thigh as he holsters his pistol. “Better head on home now, I reckon. Come on, honey, don’t want to lose you to the coyotes.”

It’s said like “kai-yohtes.” You balk at his teasing and obediently trail after him, a vulnerable duckling staying in line. The storm is hitting hard by the time you’re out of the woods, and you briefly wonder if the Angels up in heaven are gonna start bowling soon. A saying that got passed around in your family, when you and the ones before you would stare up in wonder and shiver in fear at the thundering purple skies as kids. You remember being surprised that one of the Angels’ bowling balls never fell down to earth, maybe it’d be somethin’ like a meteorite.

As is the case with many things, it’s easy to lose sight of the fresh corpse in the dry grass. Once you turn around and thread your finger through Anakin’s, dirtying them, it’s almost like that man never existed. There must be something wrong with you, sure the situation is so unimaginable that it would be hard to cope with, but shouldn’t you be feeling more guilt than you do? You feel bad, of course, but ‘easy come and easy go’ has always been the way of things in these parts. God giveth and God taketh away.

You’re back where you should be, a narrow dirt path going under a wooden fence to the ranch. Grand trees line the road forming a moss green canopy. A few workers are goofing off and playing a very amateur game of football, blissfully ignorant to the fact that Anakin can obviously see them from his place next to you.

It would be a peaceful place to die, a bright and clear afternoon-evening in the way that the world can only be when you’re about to leave it. That’s how you’d want it to feel, like you’re rowing a boat across the lake you used to go fishing at to see people you’d never thought you’d see again waiting for you. Fall leaves, blinding pale sun, a serene and calming quiet. You’d be the happiest you’ve ever been, skipping even though you never could as a kid. There’d be no sadness, only relief and a memento of everything that’ll only make sense when it’s someone’s turn to see you again. No buzzing from mosquitoes or chirping from crickets, only little lightnin’ bugs. Maybe you only get that kinda ending if you’re good, in the godly sense, if you come from something worth remembering.

Anakin raises an eyebrow and gently jostles you, and just like that your train of thought is derailed. He chalks it up to shock, and nods his head towards a clearing behind the building. A change of plans. You follow, as you are wont to do.

“That rat bastard had it comin’ to ‘im, hun.” He tries to reassure and squeezes your hand, imploring you to see reason. “The Force decided it was his time, sweet thing.”

You shake your head, not disagreeing, just in utter disbelief. “I just… most everyone in my life I've known that’s died did it when I wasn't there. I’ve never had to actually be there when they… you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” And that’s all he says, regardless of the truth.

It’s what you need, somehow he just understands exactly what that is. You’re starting to think that you certainly don’t have a damn clue. You look up at him again, really drinking in every facet of his entire being that you can latch onto and obsess over. You’re remembering why you were so anxious to get out of this sinkhole, it’s a miracle you ever got out of it in the first place. His hair’s all messy, dark curls strewn about like a windswept bale of hay. A storm is brewing in his eyes, like he could Earth to rotate in the opposite direction if he wanted it to. He works his jaw around in a weird way to get rid of the soreness after grinding his teeth.

It’s tantalizing, being the hand holding a man on the edge back from wreaking his God given havoc.

You dot a quick peck on his cheek, scrunching your nose up at the barest hint of prickly stubble.

His eyes widen, and the sun itself shines brighter. The cutest light dusting of pink spreads across his face, so he one ups you by pressing your lips together. It’s exactly how a first kiss should feel, a simple gesture that leaves you breathless and with more butterflies than a flower garden swarming in your tummy. There’s no fireworks, but you can hear wind chimes and birds singing as your lips glide together, the meeting of your tongues is so natural that you won’t be able to remember when his slipped through the seam of your mouth. You want to keen as he maps out your teeth, his spit has to have some kind of aphrodisiac in it.

Anakin works your jeans open and off your legs completely, his pupils expand when he sees your thick thighs in all their glory but he keeps himself from slapping them and acting like they’re the only part of your body. There’s an ever growing to do list in both of your heads, your combined inexperience brings a flurry of perverted ideas and porn scenarios to recreate with it, and you’re sad that you’ll very likely leave with none of them being fulfilled.

He yanks the collar of your tank below your chest, immediately leaving over to bite your cute breasts with all the grace of a rattlesnake. He doesn’t try to make any marks, he just wants to bite wildly and with reckless abandon, like he’s using your tits to self soothe. You’d do the same if he let you at his pecs to be fair, his chest is practically as big as yours if not bigger.

“This means somethin’ to me, hear that? ‘m always gonna remember my first.” He spits, clutching onto your bruised tit like he’s a split second away from sinking his hand into your viscera and dumpster diving for your heart.

He pauses pawing at your tits to reach in his back pocket and pull out a condom. It’s crumpled and the packaging is worn by rubbing against the denim of Anakin’s jeans, you can tell that he’s excited to finally put it to use. You’re glad that there’s some safety measures being taken, but your heart swoops in disappointment at the dose of reality. It’s the kind of thing that calls for the most diabolical, unhinged, strings of goopy fluid hanging from his balls as they slap against your rippling ass, raw sex. You don’t let yourself pout, Anakin’s making good use of the only working brain cell between the two of you. You scoot back on his lap to give him room to pop to button on his pants and whip his dick out. It makes a heavy ‘thwop!’ as it slaps against Anakin’s abs.

Your mouth waters at the sight, so thick with the just right amount of curve, it would scratch your throat perfectly. His hands shake harder as he rips the condom’s packaging open with his teeth and rolls it on his twitching length. You take a deep breath, finding comfort in the tense muscles on Anakin’s shoulders through his warm flannel. He curls a hand around the base of his cock and grasps it tightly, positioning it right under your empty hole. You’re lucky he didn’t have to tell you what to do, because working yourself down every inch would’ve been much more painful if you already needed to be taught a lesson. It’s weirdly sweet, the chaste pecks he presses along your nose and jawline as you adjust to what feels like a tree log forcing your tender folds to stretch around it. Your slutty body tries to twist itself in a pretzel with the way you’re swiveling your hips, trying to get more of Anakin’s dick inside of you when you’ve miraculously already swallowed him to the hilt.

“I want this pretty pussy weepin’ for me, I’m awfully sorry honey but i’m not stopping till it’s gushin’ all over me.” He speaks in between wet kisses up and down the column of your throat.

“Mmm- It’s okay, I want it like that, Ani. Promise- oh my god, so big.”

You make him feel like a man trying to outrun a forest fire only to get swept up in a tornado. Like there’s a fever in his brain that’s gotten into his blood, black tar dripping into his liver. Drives a man to drink so he can have a sliver of that feeling, that scalding need not even God could give you. There’s no finesse or coordination to anything, his lips frantically scurry along random spots on your upper body. His upward thrusts are heavy hitting and wrangle your breath out in stuttered gasps, he moves as if he were riding a horse, following only the imagined scent of old blood. Anakin’s cock is so big your walls could rip if he wasn’t always keeping a sharp eye on how much he’s bullying you. He doesn’t try anything crazy like fucking your cervix, it might shock you so much that you remeber exactly how long it’s been since he’s had your car “taken to the shop”.

His spurs dig into the dirt as he slaps your ass, the material of his gloves adding an extra bit of ‘umph!’ to the resulting sting. Anakin’s jeans are so warm against your ass that it takes a few more spanks before you really get the urge to bend over his lap and tell him to just have at it until you sob. You’re on an ecstatic high, living in the present with a near stranger’s dick balls deep inside of you. His eyes gleam gold when you make eye contact, and you find it so easy to fall down the rabbit hole, letting this man burn away all your responsibilities until he’s the last one left standing in a sea of ashes.

You don’t mind that he stops talking eventually, switching to gruff grunts and harsh yells. ‘Don’t be so stiff, let the movement roll through you.’ Anakin digs his fingers into the meat of your jiggling ass and delivers a final smack to both cheeks. You sigh in relief, but then you snap out of your cockdrunk haze to yelp at the cruel hit to your swollen clit.

“Need ya to keep squeakin’ sweets.” He orders. “Don’t want the townsfolk to think I fucked your brain out your ears.”

It’d be polite to make conversation with the people you meet when Anakin parades you around with his hat on your head later, something of a pre engagement tour. If the Force is good, you’ll be willing, because rope burn isn’t something you want to become your new normal.

“Chin up, buttercup,” He says almost bashfully despite how hard he’s pounding your puffy cunt, “We can get some ice cream at the fair after if ya like, make it a cute little second date.”

You whimper and harshly pull his hair, earning you a throaty moan and another slap to your clit, saying yes to him like you’ve already done a million times. You thought that the pure social anxiety of being around so many of Anakin’s employees would be nerve wracking, it’s nothing compared to having to speak to them AND keep their boss’s cum from oozing down your leg. Anakin’s discarded belt catches your eye when a sharp thrust sends your head falling back, and you picture the scuffed up belt buckle as the O shaped ring of a more traditional collar. The black stains from working on your car only add to the appeal, it scares you exactly how much you’d let the man fucking you with a cheap gas station condom get away with. You’ve already heard him kill a man, finding yourself in a relationship is pretty much the natural next step.

When he cums deep inside with a hoarse growl, there’s the sound of a bear trap slamming shut on an unsuspecting bunny rabbit. Your simultaneous orgasm is the tiny squeal it makes before it dies.

“I forgot to ask, hun, what stuffed animal do ya want me to win for ya?”

- faetreides 2024. do not repost, translate, or put my works into ai

[le-trash-prince]

I would like to say that as an autistic person, talking directly to people is not a default behavior for me, and this doesn’t just apply to facing people or making eye contact. Both in person and online, I often talk to myself where other people can hear and sometimes that will involve commenting on things that I disagree with.

Yes, I do enjoy conversations sometimes, I do enjoy when others chime in, but it is still very draining and I am only going to do it when I have both the words and the energy with which to do so. It took me over a decade of being in fandom before I sort-of-maybe learned how to initiate conversation in an indirect manner, and another ten years before I got to a point where I could do it directly, and it’s still not easy. It will never be a default for me.

Acting like it’s toxic, rude, cowardly, or slimy for someone to not follow neurotypical rules of communication that we never agreed to is fucked up.

I will own the title of being rude because it comes with the territory of being autistic and not knowing where that line falls—and because if I’m not giving myself the space to be “rude,” it results in me backing myself into a corner where my voice goes unheard by anyone.

But not everyone is going to communicate in a way that you think is appropriate, and people need to remember that. Even among the neurodivergent community, there’s many different ways of communicating and we are not all going to do it in the same way. No, I don’t think this will change people’s behavior or opinions, but I still think it’s fucked up to act like it’s toxic for someone to be airing out their thoughts on their own blog without making it an upfront dialogue.

[phoenixeclipse-lmkau]

Okay so my ADHD butt has stumbled upon your blog and became hyper fixated on the Warlords AU. Now it had me thinking, how would the monkeys would react to a neurodivergent reader (ADHD, ASD… etc.) with sensory issues. 

[Possible useful context.]

Sensory issues can lead to restricted diets (which can be unhealthy with lacking nutrition) and various other restrictions like clothing. For instance I physically cannot eat fruit because it feels slimy or it feels like I’m eating fabric, it gives me a sensory overload, but the way I get around that is making smoothies.

(I may not be using the right terminology sorry.)

Alright so if the warlords fall in love with someone with ADHD and sensory issues? Well they’ll find out during the first part of the journey of course. Aka when they are cursed and can’t do anything.

They’ll see how Spirit finds a way to make Reader eat something. Spirit makes sure Reader is able to eat and finds exactly what she is able to eat. If Reader tells her that she can only eat mashed/blended fruit then Spirit would take the time to make her smoothies so she has something to eat.

So when they inevitably courtnap their love they know what you will and will not eat. At least what they were able to see you eat. They will do whatever it takes to get you to eat a good and healthy diet. So to be honest they will give you what you like to eat for the most part. And if you can’t eat something they wont force you to eat it.

Basically whatever Reader has a sensory to the warlord duo will do everything in their power to make it so that she can eat and they will work around these things. They want you to love and depend on them and don’t want you to feel like they are lacking in anything. They will give you whatever you want/need to feel comfortable.

If Reader has an aversion to clothing? Well simple they’ll get you what you want to wear. They’ll hand make you any type of clothing that you want (Or have one of their troop make you something)

>>>

“I can’t eat that,” You muttered softly staring at the bowl of fruit sitting in front of you.

Both of the monkey cubs looked at you with confusion while Spirit nodded. She had known it was a long shot to get you to try something like this again.

“I’ll mash it up for you. Watch the cubs for a moment,” She smiled knowing that you felt bad for not being able to eat it as it was, but she didn’t mind at all.

“Thank you,” You smiled as you gave Peaches a few scratches which he fell into easily.

Plum butted his head against your arm to get your attention as he looked up at you with an adorable tilted head. Your eyes widened before a grin spread across your face.

“You are the cutest!” You gush which resulted in an offended sound from Peaches, clearly disliking the fact that HE wasn’t the cutest. You giggled as Plums chirped in your arms when you scooped him up.

“Here you go,” Spirit said as she placed the bowl of newly mashed fruit on the table in front of you. The only thing around was fruit so it was what you had to settle for.

“Thank you, I hate to be a bother but I am grateful that you are willing to mash the food I can’t eat,” You said with a smile not explaining what your friend already knew. Plum looked over as you set him down, he slowly pieced together what you meant as you continued your journey.

>>>

“I already told you, my wife needs her fruit mashed. You can’t chop it, or slice it. It needs to be mashed,” Wukong stressed out while gritting his teeth, he did his best not to yell that his troop but the monkey demon just didn’t understand.

“It’s just fruit, surely she can-,” He was cut off by the king.

“I SAID MASH IT,” Wukong growled before leaving the room in a huff.

He and Macaque had just gotten you back and he would NOT have his troop not serving you properly. He wanted you to be able to eat, to be able to feel comfortable in your new home.

Walking up to the garden area where you had decided to ‘hide’ he sighed when he saw Macaque sitting at a wooden table. His tail was moving in slow, gentle movements to show that he meant you not threat even as you hid behind a tree glaring at him.

“She still won’t come out?” Wukong asks with a frown.

“Give her time. It’s not every day that THE Sun Wukong and Six Eared Macaque take a human home,” Macaque replied calmly.

Wukong was grumpy and wanted to argue, but you had already thrown a rock at his head. It was better to let you calm down before anything else. That’s why he got you food… he left it in the kitchen FUCK!

“I’ll be right back,” He muttered storming back out of the room, not telling Macaque that he forgot the food that he went to go get.

>>>

So to put it simply the duo will do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable in any way that they can. They love you even with any sensory overloads that you may get.

Hope you enjoyed your answer!

[ckret2]

I was going to just reply to this post, https://www.tumblr.com/ckret2/760386247709622272/chapter-updated-and-crossposted-to-ao3-this-one, but then my message got so long and I got kind of heated about what I was saying so I decided to just make it an ask. I’m talking about what you were mentioning in the post, about how people apparently didn’t understand Bill doesn’t just not understand human hygiene.

I understood it the first time. I thought it was very obvious, actually. I don’t know why other people apparently didn’t. I can’t see how it could possibly give anyone the impression that he doesn’t get hygiene when he literally uses the fact that he gets hygiene against his captors so clearly because how else would he be able to even know that he could rub the grossness in their face? To make himself feel better about how he’s a prisoner and also kind of has no choice?

Unless they genuinely forgot because of… I think it might be a kind of be a result of societal ableism— a problem with ableism and how it’s influenced trends in fandom. I’ve been in a lot of fandoms where I noticed that people do this a lot with any characters with a certain kind of neurodivergent air— characters I often related to— who act how they want and generally don’t care about social standards or being “normal.”

An annoying portion of the fandom just starts treating them like they don’t know any better instead of knowing and not caring, and start talking about them like they’re dumb in a way that kinda reminds me of how I’ve been treated as an autistic person, whenever I thought any social rule or norm was pointless. Like people would just keep explaining to me that it existed no matter how often I clearly expressed that I knew it existed, I just didn’t see a reason to care. Other kids who acted neurodivergent got this too, no matter how obvious they made it that they just didn’t care.

I mostly got this as a girl who didn’t act “girly”— or ashamed of myself— for being not feminine enough or tomboyish enough. Teachers and parents and even a lot of classmates who just kept trying to “correct me when they realized I basically wasn’t “properly” ashamed. They talked around it, but autistic people are not dumb, and their underlying logic was almost always just that. With adults they genuinely seemed to think they were helping me, and just refused to get it, but classmates would get more patronizing after a while. Idk but- anyway…

I’ve started to identify and dread when people might do this to any character I related to in a certain way who chose not to care about social norms. And there was definitely something awfully familiar about the way people seemed to begin to think about them after a while. Especially if there hadn’t been any new episodes with that character or something for a while, they’d just start to remember them as stupider as their minds fell into certain patterns.

And people who do this to the characters, start talking about them like they’re canonically dumb and start almost infantilizing them in fanworks. I remember this one character I really related to, where people started writing fanfics and shipping them with this other character who was kind of a bully in canon, “teaching” them how to act more normal and treating them like a child, and this awful dynamic became The Most Popular Ship for that character. It was disgusting.

And then other people start to get the idea that this is canonical, when it’s entirely fandom based canon that shouldn’t even be fancanon and only exists because of ableism in the first place. But it spreads because people see this group of the fandom talking about it and, especially newcomers, just start to assume this is normal, this is what canon looks like. That’s where the fanworks featuring this come from.

And Bill is one of these characters. I can’t put it into words but he does share that certain ADHD ish quality that I relate to as a neurodivergent person and that makes me worry people will twist him into the Stupid Boy Don’t Know Anything Normal set mold too. Anyway, I’m pretty sure this bs is the reason for any “misunderstandings” like this about Bill.

I think in this case it might have just been mostly people treating Bill like he’s dumb as they forgot after a while of reading the chapter and started thinking of him… the way they think of characters (and people) with adhd or some other form of neurodivergence who don’t fit in, automatically, w/o realizing. And they started building it worse off each other. And then newcomers came in and saw how they were talking about Bill and started unconsciously reflecting it. It wasn’t in anything to do with your writing.

And I’m sorry you had to deal with it, too. I hope you didn’t have to cut down or dumb down your story, or… not too much, because of it. You shouldn’t have to bring down your work because you’re afraid an audience won’t understand. In this case, I really think it’s more because of a fandom trend and a societal problem than you actually being bad at writing Bill in any way. You shouldn’t have to dumb down the story to make it more obvious for this. And it wasn’t your fault in any way I can think of. But yeah.

I was trying to delicately avoid flinging accusations right at my own readers, especially since there's no way to know what any one given particular reader is bringing into a story—but honestly I've assumed all along it's either ableism, racism, or fatphobia, three issues that predispose people to see the affected person/character as both "stupid" and "dirty" and all of which apply either to Bill or to his human body.

I can't cure ableism, racism, or fatphobia in a fanfic. But I can make it harder for people to default to Ignorant Dirty Gremlin Child stereotypes. And I want to make it harder, because I'd like people to understand my work on the terms I intended to present it. An author's job is to communicate their ideas in words that accurately convey those ideas to the reader, and if a lot of readers don't get it, it's first and foremost the author's duty to see if there's anything else they can do to couch their ideas in language readers will get.

Anything beyond that is out of my hands. I've now done my level best with chapter 8.

[would-you-punt-them]

Hello, I teach public speaking for a living.

I believe that the phrasing of your eye contact poll is giving you skewed results. The second option includes the phrase “direct eye contact is weird,” which means anyone simply uncomfortable with eye contact might be selecting it. I sincerely doubt that nearly a third of polled people on the street would say “eye contact means never looking someone in the eye, it just means looking at someone’s cheek or chin or nose.” If someone were staring at any part of my face like that, I’d assume I have something on my face.

I selected the first option. Eye contact is explicitly two individuals looking each other in the eye. Prolonged eye contact is often uncomfortable for both parties, which is why all people tend to avoid it for long periods of time - it’s common to avert eye contact mid-conversation when thinking of what to say or considering a point. When addressing a crowd of people, we encourage shifting eye contact from person to person regularly so as to make any one person uncomfortable for being singled out.

I do appreciate the phrasing of “Ideally it’s eye-to-eye contact,” because we do have a couple of tips if eye contact is uncomfortable for anyone. When addressing an audience, one trick is to look directly over the tops of people’s heads. This makes it look like you’re addressing the crowd at large without looking at anyone directly. And in one-on-one conversations, it’s worth a shot to try looking right between their eyes - doesn’t work for everyone, but it appears like you’re looking them in the eye when you’re technically not.

I believe eye contact is the best way to display emotion and garner empathy. It’s often the hardest thing for my students to commit to, but it can be practiced. Having worked with neurodivergent students as well, I’ve seen many become accustomed to it. That said, I’m fortunate enough to work in an accepting environment where most people understand that not all forms of communication are universal. One does not need eye contact to get their points across and be understood, but it does help in the larger social world.

That does actually help clear things up

I'm not sure why, but while with large crowds I predictably freeze and can't get a single word out, when it's smaller groups of people like the classes I used to teach I never really had any kind of problem, it's bizarre

I also didn't have as much of a problem when I was a cashier, I think because there's a specific structure of conversation so you know how things are supposed to go – although the second a single unknown variable was thrown into the mix it was back into meltdown

But this ask did encourage me to force myself to practice more since that poll

I tried the "look between the eyes" thing you suggested, but my gaze gets drawn to the eyes like they have a gravitational pull – so I guess it's eye-to-eye or nothing, but the instant direct eye-to-eye contact is made my vision starts to swim

Instead I've mostly been staring down poor Starbucks baristas like we're having a showdown at high noon, and I'm getting a feel for the look-away intervals now

...

...you know, when I write all this down, it sounds a lot more embarassing than it did in my head

(but fr, this has really helped me improve /gen)

(link to the poll to avoid scrolling)

[itsaspectrumcomic]

If you’re comfortable, what made you decide to seek diagnosis and how did you go about it? It has been suggested to me (friends, therapist), and I have suspected that I might be autistic but I’m kind of scared to find out for sure because of stigma.

I wondered silently for a really long time before I did anything about it - like, for years. I worried about the stigma too, or that I was wrong and I wasn't autistic and I was just weird, or maybe everyone found things this hard and I was just being dramatic and overreacting. I also self-identified as autistic for a while before I decided a diagnosis would be helpful for me, mainly for getting accommodations.

What started it off was my mum sending me an article about Melanie Sykes revealing her own diagnosis and noting the similarities, and I thought if she could see it too then maybe it wasn't just in my head. And then I spent a really long time researching.

I joined some communities of autistic people (eg discord and reddit) and followed neurodivergent people on social media to see if I could relate to their experiences (which was way more helpful than reading a traits list off WebMD).

I also did some self-assessments online like the Autism Spectrum Quotient (there's the AQ10 and AQ50) and the RAADS-R. I've linked to where you can take those on Embrace Autism since I found that website particularly helpful :)

AND THEN I took all my results and notes to my GP to try to get a referral which was another whole thing since the NHS waiting lists are literally years long.

Even though it took a long time and was pretty difficult, I'm really glad I went for a diagnosis! It made me feel much more comfortable in myself, and I've found others take me more seriously when I say I'm struggling with something. Most people I've told have responded pretty well, but I am careful about who I tell in real life because there are so many stereotypes so it wouldn't necessarily be helpful for them to know. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.

If you're wondering about yourself, I recommend taking those quizzes I linked as well as seeing if you relate to other autistic peoples' experiences. Also, know you don't have to actually go for a diagnosis if you don't want one. Self-identifying and figuring out what your needs are and accommodating them where you can is also good :)

Anyway, this has been an essay but basically I'm happy I was able to get my diagnosis :) It's not something everyone can access for a variety of reasons so I'm very grateful.

[cy-cyborg]

What kind of worldbuilding would you expect from a world where amputation is really common? (NOT a cyberpunk thing. The technology is somewhere between Bronze Age and Middle Ages, which I know is really broad but I’m indecisive). Also the most common cause of amputation is disease, not war or anything like that, in case it makes a difference. So far all I’ve come up with is that assistive technology isn’t limited to more urban/populated areas, and people treat amputations as commonplace. Sorry if this is too random

Ok, so my answer to this will depend of what kind of tone you want. Do you want it to be normalised in a more idealist/optimistic way, or do you want to do worldbuilding around the new problems that would likely arise and take a more pessimistic approach? Either way there's a lot you can do with a setting like that and I absolutely love world building stuff like this! I was actually working on another post kind of similar to what you're asking for, so I have a lot prepared lol. apologies for the long post in advance.

Here are some questions/suggestions I would consider:

What are the views around Amputation in this setting? Do any stereotypes or beliefs appear around it?

Just because a disability is common, doesn't always mean it's accepted, or accepted unconditionally, nor does it mean people won't make odd assumptions about it. Obviously, if you want something more optimistic, you'll want to go with "it's just a normal part of life, most folks don't really think about it much" but in that case, even accepted disabilities get weird assumptions, stereotypes or even religious beliefs surrounding them. The best example of this in the real world is people who wear glasses. Most folks wouldn't even consider it a disability because it's just so normalised, but it is - glasses are a type of accessibility device. But what comes to mind when you think of someone who wears glasses? Chances are, it's someone smart, maybe a nerd? Glasses have nothing to do with intelligence but we associate people who wear them with it anyway. From what I found, that association formed in the middle ages, as monks and priests wore them to read, and those were people who studied religious texts and passed that information to the public. the common folk saw these people as a source of information and wisdom, forming the idea that glasses were worn by intelligent or wise people. If amputation is common and/or accepted, this kind of thing will probably happen with it too. If amputations are more common in some lines of work than others (either because that job leads to more amputations, or because a lot of people go into that line of work after their amputation) people will start to associate qualities needed for that job with amputees. For example, If the most common reason for amputation is illness, and if that illness is contagious, you might actually end up with a similar belief, that amputation is a sign of intelligence because doctors/healers, who people view as intelligent, are more likely to catch the illness, resulting in more amputations among doctors.

On the flip side, a lot of cultures have disabilities at the heart of many of their beliefs. For example, they idea of the fey replacing children with other fey, is thought to have been people's way of explaining neurodivergence like autism, ADHD and personality disorders before we had words for those disabilities.

Likewise, some European Christians believed people born with disabilities (including limb differences) could be explained by their mothers participating in witchcraft or deals with the devil. These disabilities were pretty common at the time due to malnutrition and a general lack of understanding about how to be safe while pregnant, but they lacked the medical knowledge to be able to explain it, and so superstition took over. If your setting has a similar level of medical knowledge/understanding, something similar might occur. Not every example of this is negative btw. It's thought that early ancient Egyptians believed disabilities such as blindness, especially if it was from birth, were the result of the gods calling them to speak for them. Similar lack of understanding about where the disability came from but this time it has a much more positive outcome.

Also, consider that if it's so normalised, people are going to be much less likely to be afraid of becoming amputees. This can be a positive thing, but it could have run on effects, both in the sense that people are less likely to care to take precautions to avoid things that could result in amputation, and that people may underestimate the impact it will have. Even in the real world, as being an amputee has become less stigmatised (though we are still far from normalised), some people have started underestimating how it will impact you. My prosthetist says the hardest part of his job is watching the realisation that a prosthetic won't be a magic cure hit his patients in real-time. this isn't to say being an amputee is always a terrible and awful and all the other things people think about disability, but it is a BIG adjustment that a lot of folks are unprepared for. In a setting where it's even more common, this is even more likely. It's also more likely that non-amputees will underestimate this impact, and say things like "but I know someone with the same amputation and they're fine!" when someone tries to say they can't/struggle to do something because of their amputation - something that also already happens to me irl lol. People are going to take to being amputees differently, they'll have different limits and different capabilities, how well does your society as a whole understand this?

Finally, think about if there are certain types of amputations that are more accepted/normalised/understood than others. In the real world, leg amputees tend to be more accepted than arm amputees in my experience, and larger amputations/multi-limb amputations carry more stigma and have a lot more bizarre misinformation and stereotypes about them. Is this the same for your world?

What is the general populations view of other disabilities?

Just because one disability is more common or accepted, doesn't mean they all are. This is especially important to consider for comorbid disabilities (disabilities that are connected to, are caused by having, or are usually seen alongside being an amputee). For example, a lot of leg amputees choose wheelchairs over prosthetics, but the degree of acceptance for that in your world will depend on people's view of wheelchair users as a whole. In real life, it's an unfortunate reality that the use of a wheelchair is looked down on and there are a lot of negative stereotypes about wheelchair users which deters a lot of leg amputees from using a wheelchair, even when they really need one. When leg amputees specifically use wheelchairs, we are often said to be giving up or even lazy for not "pushing through" or "trying hard enough" - I have another post here talking about that. This has resulted in a lot of amputee-specific spaces being completely inaccessible wheelchair users. An example of this would be a camp I used to attend specifically for amputees being held in a non-wheelchair accessible location until recently, or amputee clinics (where you go to see doctors who specialise in treating/rehabilitating amputees) having equipment needed for taking measurements essential for getting quality prosthetics, being unusable to people who can't stand up. If they do accept other related disabilities though, there's more stuff to think about (which I'll come back to in the next few points)

Of course, how your world views unrelated disabilities is important to consider too, because chances are there's someone out there with both. How does the general view of disability affect those people? Are people more or less likely to accept that having this other disability means they won't be able to things other amputees can? I'm autistic for example and find it nearly impossible to wear my prosthetic when I'm in burnout, both because it's a lot of energy I don't really have, but also because when I'm in burnout, I'm very sensitive to certain textures, and the feeling of wearing my prosthetics when I'm like that is unbearably uncomfortable.

What has the acceptance/normalisation of amputees done to influence beauty standards?

You see this a lot in cyberpunk but it's worth considering for other settings too. Amputation can be a very visible disability if you want it to be, but in the real world, there is a big emphasis on "looking normal" because beauty standards. This isn't just a modern thing either, there are many stories of real-life knights who lost arms during battle and had armour made for them that hid their missing limb. They were functionally useless (except for maybe backhanding people lol) but the desire to look "normal" outweighed the need for functionality to many.

If amputation is common though, this might not be the case in your setting. This might mean people are freer to explore prosthetics that put function over aesthetics, meaning they might have more advanced prosthetics than you'd typically expect to see in that time period. Alternatively, it might go the other way and you could end up with people who still favour aesthetics over function, but they try to make it look as outlandish and unique as possible.

Beyond how it effects amputees though, if prosthetics are seen as fashionable, do non-amputees try to mimic the look of prosthetics in their outfits? Consider the first point I mentioned here too. If there are certain desirable characteristics associated with amputees, would people trying to present themselves a certain way try to make it look like they're an amputee, even when they are not? Kind of like how people wear fake glasses to look smart or just as an accessory. Alternatively, how dose being an amputee play other beauty standards and expectations? Another real-world example, is that there is a lot of fatphobia in amputee circles, to the point where most teenaged amputees I know have/had eating disorders. Part of it comes from the general fatphobia in the wider population, but its amplified by the fact that many prosthetic components have weight limits on them, and many prosthetic companies refuse to make components for bigger people, not because they can't/it's too hard, but because they say there's no demand for it. So Doctors push the importance of staying below a certain weight so their patents can have access to better tech and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If there are a lot more amputees though, this might be different, but it's worth considering.

How will it impact architecture?

When we think of medieval or even older structures, "accessible" isn't the word we usually think of. Most buildings had stairs, and the needs of people with different bodies was rarely, if ever considered. But if amputation is more common, this might not be the case, especially if things like wheelchair use are also common/accepted (told you I'd come back to that). Buildings will be more likely to use ramps, lifts (even in ancient times - this could be achieved via pullies or something similar, though it would need to be usable to arm amputees too) or forgo multiple levels entirely where possible. Roads would probably be paved or at least smoothed to allow for easier travel via wheels and cities would be laid out in way that would make traversing them from a wheelchair easier. This would likely have a run-on effect and lead to cities being more accessible to people with horse-drawn carts, wagons, carriages etc too. things would be made with the idea that someone lower to the ground, or someone who needs to use their feet to grab things (and therefore can't reach as high) needs to be able to access the thing too, and a lot more. Even small things, like the way doors are opened might be altered to make it easier to use for someone missing an arm/who's arms are occupied with pushing a wheelchair. Making spaces more accessible in these ways also has run-on effects. I already mentioned the carriages in cities, but it also means you might start seeing small changes to the world, like chairs being made to be more comfortable, or single-handed versions of tools/weapons being more common.

What type of illness is the most common cause? How do people view it? Is it understood?

You mentioned illness is the most common cause of amputation in this setting. In that case, consider what kind of illness is usually the cause. Is it a single disease? if so, is it contagious? How high is the mortality rate? Who does it mostly impact? I lost my own legs to an illness, one that is well-known where I live, but poorly understood - most people just know it's contagious and acts kind of like the flu. This has resulted in some very bizarre interactions with non-disabled people when they find out how I lost my legs. There was a rumour about me in school that I still had the illness, and so because of that my amputations were contagious. It wasn't just children who believed it either lmao. Now as the public has been better educated, those ideas are less common, but weird stuff still comes up occasionally, like the lady who thought my illness was a government conspiracy theory made up to control people and scare them into getting vaccinated, apparently my amputations were unnecessary and all a part of the plot lol. I don't know if I talked about that on this account yet but I think it's probably my favourite weird interaction lmao.

You can also look at how people reacted to COVID for ideas about how people react to wide-spread illnesses that have a high chance of disabling you. Diabetes is another good example too, while it's one of the most common causes for amputation in the real world, people are still very weird about it and a lot of people insist it either doesn't exist or can be treated without medicine (insulin). Does the disease in your world have a lot of untrue information about it too? are there people peddling fake "cures" to take advantage of people who are more at risk?

How has this impacted Medicine as a whole

In medicine, advancements in one field are rarely isolated. When advancements are made in one area, other areas usually follow or are at least influenced. As much as the modern medical industry structure likes to pretend otherwise, it's all connected. In the real world, amputees were a lot rarer (not unheard of mind you, but rarer) because well, bronze-age understandings of things like infection and disease in general wasn't great. people would often die from the side effects of the amputation or the surgery itself (e.g. infections, going into shock because the surgery was preformed while the person was awake, blood loss during surgery, a general lack of understanding of how important hygiene is post-op/a lack of access to proper hygiene etc). So if amputees are more common, that would imply their understanding of medicine is at least a little better than real-life bronze age folks. This won't just stop an amputees though, like i said, it's all connected. Having a better understanding of, say, how infection happens in an amputee, means they will probably have a better understanding of infection in general, which could stop a lot of deaths in other ways. Likewise, sewing a stump closed in a way that won't cause immense amounts of nerve and phantom pain implies a decent understanding of the nervous system in general, which will have run on effects in how a lot of other conditions can be viewed and maybe even treated.

Conclusion

There's a lot more you could consider, but I hope this gave you some additional stuff to think about (sorry for the long response, but like I said, I was already working on a nearly identical post so this was perfect timing lol). Let me know if you need more help, I love this kind of worldbuilding stuff! Also, just to be clear as well, as long as you aren't just ignoring the fact so much of your world is disabled or being super ableist about it, there's no right or wrong answers here. You can have more positive answers to these questions than what I've given as examples, you can go darker, you can have a mix of both, whatever you like. Depending on the tone you want, you don't even have to answer every question if you don't want to. If you have a rather light-hearted setting for example, you probably don't need to know how all your amputees are surviving infections and unmedicated amputation surgery lol, but if its a darker tone where the illness you mentioned is a central focus, then it's probably a good thing to think about at least. At the end of the day, just ensure your answers aren't based on stereotypes or misinformation and you're all good for the most part!

[desceros]

Re: ableism w/Symphony Donnie: Definitely some internalized ableism but I think that’s unfortunately due to not many people knowing what exactly neurodivergence looks like and how people with it processes things differently.

Like, honestly, my biggest gripe was the recording and even that, for the SPECIFIC context of this story and Donnie as a character, it makes sense. Does it make it right? No, but if Donnie never had to think about these things before, for him it’s the same as recording everything to protect his family. Just something he does.

Also, even though my heart broke with Reader’s at her realization, MULTIPLE times reader has said Donnie says what he means and even at the beginning with the “I like you” thing I was like, “Girl, I’m going to need you to define the relationship with him.”

And I think, with Leo, even when writer’s do write him as neurodivergent, what I’ve read always has him as the he better masker whether it’s explicitly said or not. Idk if Symphony Leo is neurodivergent or not but STILL, reader has picked up that he’s good with masking which usually comes off as charming or “easy breezy beautiful cover girl”.

Idk, maybe because I know a lot of people like Donnie irl but if anything I was more frustrated at the obvious miscommunication between both of them than him directly, because as reader said, she projected her feelings on to him when he’s been super direct with his intentions.

Basically, there are sometimes where I wish people would just realize that processing the same thing between two people doesn’t always look the same and that one isn’t necessarily bad.

well-said, anon-chan!

edit: this got SPOILER!! HEAVY!! for chap. 22 and also soooo long so i'm going to tuck it under a cut. but here's some meta on symphony to explore this a bit since it's something that's very important to me and also... pretty critical to the fic itself! i don't typically like explaining myself outside of the text and letting the fic itself speak but. hm. i suppose i shall let it slide for today!

as you all have hopefully noticed by now, as an author, i like to be. hm. more subtle with things. i prefer to tuck things away versus having things be blatant in the text. and this is kind of coming back to bite me a little with donnie and his neurodivergence, i suspect.

i've tried pretty hard to make it contextually obvious that donnie's autistic. i've all but used the word. the way he behaves and communicates is heavily autism-coded.

meanwhile, the story is from viola-chan's pov, and she's neurotypical-coded (well. as much as i, an adhd-riddled autistic cat in a trenchcoat can manage).

as a result, she doesn't... pick up on donnie's problems with communication. not right away. but here, in this chapter, we see where she finally figures out what their issue has been the entire time:

…Oh. Oh god.  He really doesn’t get it. You’d known, of course, that Donnie wasn’t great with people. That he doesn’t communicate well. He doesn’t pick up on cues, or use them himself. No wonder he’s always so frank in his language, you realize. No wonder he’s so comforted by the firm rigidities of science. No wonder he looked so lost. No wonder he was so perplexed.

then, she puts that into practice by being specific and precise with how she talks. and we see that she now knows how to communicate with him in a way that works for both of them. and it works for them:

God; it’s like—a breath of fresh air, you think, staring at him in a little bit of awe. It’s so easy to talk to him, now that you’re just… letting it all out. Being honest. Frank. Infuriating that you hadn’t done this earlier. Feeling your irritation deflate, you nod. “…Okay. You just—need an explanation. Clarification.” “Yes, please,” Donnie gushes, fretting a little.

it's going to take some work. she still takes things he says personally and extrapolates past them (the whole "leo being an important person" thing). but she immediately nips it in the bud and is like. no. we're not doing that anymore. so, going forward, her relationship with donnie is one that's built on learning how to develop this open communication.

of course, it's not perfect, because they're human. donnie twisting her arm into still talking to him by calling in the favor is shitty behavior. a desperate bid to keep someone close that, for some reason, he can't imagine being without. not cool. the recordings of them having sex were shitty behavior to us, people who Know Better. but when violist-chan said 'hey, that's not cool, don't do that' and donnie was given a reason why not to, he just says ok. he might not understand ("but i record everything"). but he acknowledges that there's a concern there, and he agrees to be more conscientious in the future (having a consent sheet).

now then, let's look at leo's behavior in comparison.

donnie's biggest fault was that he didn't know to check in and make sure they were on the same page with everything. leo's fault, on the other hand, is purposeful, manipulative, and cruel. his open admission that he's been manipulating her from the beginning. manipulating donnie. lying to her.

to me, this is much, much worse than what donnie did. even knowing that at some point he starts developing friendly feelings towards her—and some of their interactions were indeed genuine!—i'm with violist-chan here. i'm not going to be digging through every one trying to parse out which ones were real and which ones were him being a dickhead. they're all tainted by the stain of betrayal.

also. because it has come up in a different ask that i will be publishing probably tomorrow bc of spoiler reasons: someone said something to the effect of 'why didn't he just not say anything? he could have taken that to his grave. how selfish'. i will remind you of a conversation between violist-chan and leo that happened in the previous chapter:

“Most of all, he’s honest,” you keep going, tangling your fingers together, staring down at the way they knot at your waist. “If he says something, I can take it at face value. There’s no hidden meaning. Nothing deeper. If he says something feels good, I know it feels good. If he says he likes something, he likes it. If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it. If he asks for something, I don’t need to ask if he’s sure. He asks, so he’s sure. It—It’s a breath of fresh air. If I want to know what he’s thinking, really thinking, all I have to do is ask. And...”  [...] Leo’s still as stone for a few moments longer, looking at you like he’s trying to decide if he wants to say something; but finally he relaxes and comes back to you himself. Reaching out, he flicks your forehead, causing you to wince and rub at it.

i think... leo maybe wouldn't have ever said anything about it. but then you said this. how donnie matters to you because he's honest. there's nothing deeper with him. it's all at face value. you never have to worry about what he's doing, what he's thinking. and that i think... really messed with leo. because he knows he hasn't been honest with you. you can't trust what he says at face value. you do have to worry about what he's doing. and for you to say that that's the main thing you love about donnie—it messed with him. so, even though he knew it would jeapordize the relationship with you, even knowing he wanted to put this off for as long as he could, even though, even though, he decides he has to tell you. he has to come clean.

so even though it feels like shitty, selfish behavior... it's actually him trying to do right by her for a change. to conform to what she looks for in a relationship (both romantic and platonic). it just... didn't go over so well, predictably. most people don't like hearing that not one, but two of their most precious relationships were built on a foundation of misunderstandings or lies.

side note. i do headcanon leo as having adhd that primarily manifests itself as an inattentive form. i don't suspect it has much to do with his behavior here... save perhaps for some possible rsd being triggered when violist-chan is like 'ok actually go fuck yourself i'm out of here.' i don't find it particularly relevant to the discussion of ableism, in this context.

so anyway. long post aside. it's... interesting to me. to see people saying 'actually fuck both donnie and leo equally!!! bleh bleh bleh!!!!' i don't know that it's. hm. active ableism. i'm certainly not accusing anyone of the sort. but it is, at the very least, indicative to me that there are a lot of people who don't read into the text as deeply as perhaps i would like on certain character traits, if i had a magic wand to wave.

....and also perhaps just ableism, haha.

[candyskys]

🐾𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝🐾

🌿Welcome to my Blog🪽

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[Hate will not be tolerated on this account. Any hate received will result in a block. Please be kind. I understand if you are confused and do not understand, but being rude is no way to go about it. I encourage curiosity, I encourage questions, but be nice.]

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What is This Blog About?

🌿 [Firstly, This is an AlterHuman blog! I will be posting content relating to Alterhumanity and AlterHuman Identities! I myself identify as AlterHuman, it’s a more umbrella term and works for me because i identify with many more labels such as Fictionkin, Otherkin, Therian, and more.]

✨ [This Blog is a place for me to write and share my own thoughts, experiences, and feelings about my identity. I hope by sharing such things people do not feel alone and rather they feel understood and heard. This is also a place for me to look back on and see my journey and keep track of how I feel.]

🐾 [I am aware that on tumblr there seems to be a lot of negative feelings / misinformation about AlterHuman identities, I did not find out about Alterhumanity through Tumblr and have been working on my journey for a good bit now, but would like to post somewhere about it, and Tumblr is going to be my platform of choice for the time being.]

🪽 [I will not now nor never judge anyone on their beliefs or their own identities, this is a safe space for everyone. Again, hate will not be tolerated!]

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

(More below the cut)

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🌿🐾A Bit About Me!🐾🪽

🐾Name: Angel / Candi

Nicknames and the names of any of my kin types are also happily accepted!

🌿Age: 19 y/o

🪲Gender: Agender

🪱Pronouns: [ He / They / It ]

Note: I am NOT comfortable being referred to as a woman/girl/lady. I am AFAB, however, if I speak of myself as if I was AMAB that is simply for euphoric purposes.

☀️Sexuality: Bisexual

- I identify as AlterHuman! I used the labels Fictionkin, Otherkin, and Therian!

- I am unsure if my Alterhuman identity is spiritual or psychological, I feel personally it may be a bit of both.

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🌿Additional Personal Information🌱

☁️ I am neurodivergent, I have autism and inattentive type ADHD. My typing style is a bit odd and I’m aware, for example I place spaces on each side of my / simply because I find it easier to read. I also occasionally capitalize words I shouldn’t.

🐾 Please be patient with me 🐾

Thank you!

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🪲My story🌱

🌿 This has been a journey for me for a few years now, I began questioning if these labels fit how I feel or not back in 6th grade, around 2017, and only recently in October of 2023 did I start to actually use these labels and begin accepting myself with this new identity. This left me in the questioning stage for around 6 years.

🌱 During those 6 years of questioning I had consumed information on and off, questioning and then denying that this identity fit how I felt, I struggled with imposter syndrome over this for quite some time and sometimes still do.

🐾 I feel that even though sometimes these lables play a large part in who I am it’s not something that I openly admit or talk about due to the stigma, hatred and misinformation around it.

🪲 I am still learning. I don’t know a ton and I admit that. I am still very new to this and I’m still learning new terms each day. Sometimes I get things wrong, and that’s okay.

🪽 Alterhumanity for me is an ever changing identity. I don’t stress over whether I identify as something or not, nowadays I question it for a few months before I confirm anything. And sometimes after confirming them, I realize that I don’t feel that strongly connected to that Kintype or identity and I take it off my list, and I understand that like any other identity, such as gender or sexuality, that it’s ever changing, and sometimes I’ll be wrong in my feelings.

Here is a link to my post containing my updated kin list

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🌿DNI🦴

(Do not interact) Making comments containing such topics will result in an immediate block!

pedophiles / zoophiles

Homophobes / homophobia / anti-LGBTQ+

Transphobes / Transphobia

Racism

Fatphobic

Ableism

Sexist / misogynistic comments

Bigots

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🌿Thank you! Thank you for taking your time to get to know me a little more and read this post! If you have any questions feel free to message me or send in an ask!

[eelfuneral]

Some of the discussion that happens within the Star Wars fandom, particularly discussion of the Jedi, can be really upsetting to observe if you have certain disabilities. In fact, I’m having a hard time even liking the Jedi right now because I can’t help but associate them with some really ableist takes that I’ve seen in their defense.

Let me explain: a lot of people with certain disabilities (such as autism, ADHD, bipolar disorder, and C-PTSD) deal with something called emotion dysregulation, which means that you feel emotions more intensely than the average person and that this strong emotional state sticks around for far longer than it should. When you have emotional regulation issues, an event that might make somebody else a bit sad or mildly frustrated has the ability to put you out of commission for hours or even an entire day. Emotion dysregulation is very stigmatized, even in people who go out of their way to avoid harming people or lashing out while dealing with an episode. People with this specific issue are often told that they are “dramatic”, “attention seeking”, or “future abusers” for what amounts to an automatic emotional response that a person cannot control. This constant pushback forms a metaphorical blister that can easily be popped back open when you see anything that reminds you of what caused it in the first place.

Now, let’s move on to the Jedi. While it can be argued that their teachings were intended to instruct people to reign in their BEHAVIOR as a result of their emotions, several lines in the fist six movies sound an awful lot like they are condemning having negative emotions at all. Yoda literally tells both Luke and Anakin that emotions like fear and anger BY THEMSELVES are of the Dark Side, and these lines were very difficult for a lot of people who have dealt with trauma, neurodivergence, or other issues that cause “big emotions”. These lines, intentionally or not, mirror a lot of the things that real people have said to those of us dealing with emotion dysregulation, and people have every right to talk about this in their own spaces unmolested.

Some of the defenses of the Jedi in the context of how they are instructed to deal with their emotions come off as dismissive at best and ableist at worst. Yes, if you dig through Star Wars canon enough, you can find portrayals of the Jedi and emotions that point to a more nuanced view where choices and actions are the source of evil rather than the emotions, but this does not change the fact that the Yoda lines and other emotionally repressive applications of the Jedi Code very much exist in parts of canon. A person who found the emotionally repressive variant of Jedi teachings to be upsetting due to a disability will likely feel as though you are trying to dismiss their feelings and belittle them if you “correct” them for “misinterpretation of the Jedi”. I get that it sucks to see people bash your blorbos, but if someone is doing it because they are dealing with something IRL like trauma or ableism, then it’s best not to engage and just let that person work through it.

I have also seen people who are defending the Jedi make statements that outright attack people for having intense emotions. I remember a take that basically said that you were a baby or a psychopath if you found the Jedi code regarding emotions to be “too hard”. I’ve seen people dismiss the trauma that Anakin went through and its possible effect on how he reacted to some aspects of the Jedi order in a way that mirrors the invalidation that those of us with emotional regulation issues have experienced for being “too much” for all of our lives. Yes, it is important to avoid harming others when you are in a bad place, and no Anakin was not a great person, but so many of these takes are devoid enough of nuance that they read as if they are just trashing people who have “too many”emotions.

Feel free to defend your favorite characters all that you would like, but please spare a thought for those of us who might not dig everything about them for reasons connected to disability and trauma. The Jedi aren’t real, but we very much are.

[sagittato]

This is my first post and it’s gonna be low effort because I swear I can’t get this off my mind—

Do people from twisted wonderland realize how much Azul Ashengrotto could potentially look up at Vil Schoenhiet??? ONLY @jxnebuggy ACKNOWLEDGES THIS IN HER fem!twst FANFICS AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!!

Vil is a successful, confident, drop dead gorgeous fashion icon. He has a whole business for cosmetics because he’s so gorgeous. He’s very skilled in potion making, so much so bro makes his OWN makeup. He has a strict diet he follows and it’s clearly gving him the results he wants. Vil Schoenheit is everything Azul wants to be!! On top of that, Vil is Azul’s bloody UPPERCLASSMAN.

And does everyone forget how Azul literally info dumped about the man in Book 5 Chapter 2?? Nobody talks about it. They’re too busy headcannoning Sebek or Riddle or Floyd to be neurodivergent af (jkjk)!! Such a shame Vil told him to stfu but in his own pretty, 3w4-coded ways😔😔

Azul has shown before he will invest inhumane amounts of time into things he thinks are important. An example of this is in his birthday jackect card, he talked in a fair amount of detail about the quality of the pillow Ace gave him. He could do this because he researched ON pillow qualities.

It’s likely when he was trying to step up his game with success or diet, he stumbled upon Vil, researched the frick out of this guy, and lo and behold became a fan of his.

Some honourable mentions are when he made a deal with Vil in his ceremonial robes. I haven’t seen it because I wanna save the feeling of raw happiness with these two characters interacting once I get the card. If we didn’t see Azul show any sort of fan behaviour when Vil made that deal then I firmly believe he was kicking, giggling, twirling his hair off camera behind closed doors over it. Then I do hear in the second Camp Vargas event, Azul and Vil had some more interactions! I thiiiiiiink they were getting competitive with each other??? That changes nothing from my ignorant eye. It’s NRC. Everyone is really competitive and will turn on each other’s backs faster than Leona can fall asleep (bro’s actually depressed, I swear).

Anyway, I think it’s only right I list my headcanons now for them:

Azul gobbles up any dietary/beauty tips Vil has

Azul uses Vil’s makeup brand that’s probably vegan

He also collects Vil’s magazines and puts them all in a box hidden away in his closet or under his bed

Vil probably finds him annoying💀💀💀 (what can I say? he has a reputation for not stfu around higher class people)

Elaborating on that, Vil does respect his success but I bet he can see the unhealthy greed that lies under it all. Thus, that’s prolly a reason why he would try to distance himself away from Azul.

BADLY wants to collaborate with Vil because Mostro Lounge profits would soar if they did. Knowing his bold arse he probably made the request at least thrice and Vil shut him down each time. He’s obviously not gonna stop because we all know him. (never back down never what—)

Yes, I know he canonically looks up to Ursula, but I think he would like someone… yknow… alive to look up to.

Keep in mind I’m only on Book 5 Chapter 29 as of this moment so it’s totally possible I missed some things! Leave your opinions, headcanons, or anything else in the comments, I’d love to see them! Do leave spolier warnings though. That way I can decide whether I wanna spoil things first myself or not.

EDIT: I already fixed it but did I really just say book 6 😭😭😭 i meant book 5 i am so sry hdgdhjjjdhdjj

[dearinglovebot]

what headcanons do you have for autistic claire

okay BUCKLE IN anon. we’ve got ground to cover

as if jw era she’s at least vaguely aware that she is what one might call… Different (euphemism for neurodivergent). BUT she is also immensely in denial and views it as a nuclear bomb that could be dropped on her career at any time. she’s extremely defensive about being perceived/labeled as autistic thus dedicates 80% of her social energy to masking (she is lowkey bad at it)

because of her fear of being “outted”, so much of her stimming is suppressed. she actively tries not to tap her fingers or wring her hands together. but again, she’s kind of bad at it so as soon as she stops focusing on keeping herself Still, she’s back at it.

post-jw is when she really starts to accept it. she's got nothing left to lose and everything's gone to hell anyways. it's a hard habit to break and it takes a few years but by dominion she's basically completely abandoned masking. she is living her best autism life

I’m only partially joking when I say her hyperfixation is Her Job. it’s slightly more nuanced in that she actively seeks out jobs that feed into whatever she’s fixated on. being a manager would totally appeal to her bc it’s like playing irl sims where she gets to control everything so jw is like her personal zootycoon save. managing jw is, in a very legitimate way, her Special Interest. just like how saving dinosaurs became her Big Fixation and the dpg is just an extension of that. I don’t particularly see her having a fixation that doesn’t result in A Job. if she got fixated on flowers then she’d end up owning a botanical garden etc etc

she eats like a college student who doesn’t know how to use a stove. absolutely demolishes a bowl of instant noodles or oatmeal. if she’s feeling adventurous she will add 1/4th of the ramen seasoning. but she’s Very picky and going out to eat with her is a nightmare <33

her micromanaging personality is Absolutely rooted in autism. she hates change. she LOVES when she knows what to expect. making a date itinerary is just generally how she approaches any unknown.

and in that same vein, she likes numbers cause they're so defined. people are weird and confusing but guest satisfaction numbers are real and solid

this is more niche but karen did not realize gray was autistic for ages because she was like "no he's very normal. my sister is just like him". she realized they were Both autistic at the same time and had her Oh That Explains A Lot Actually moment.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Carmen Anthony Berzatto, do we have a mental health problem?

You might wanna read this for context first.

I’m gonna get academic boring for a whole minute here, so feel free to just skip right to my point at the bottom.

Whilst Carmy definitely has mommy issues, and even daddy issues as well, plus he has sublimated his sexual attraction for Syd in getting a bullshit star for her as explained and predicted here, which triggered a relapse in his addition (workaholism), as I described and predicted here. That behavior, like any addiction, is in essence a repressed sexual impulse (according to Freud). According to other experts, addiction can, in essence, be considered a neurosis (more based on Jung’s concept, which is more advanced than Freud’s but does integrate it) and all of those concepts are Freudian and thus psychoanalytical, there’s a reason why IRL psychoanalysis is not the line of treatment used to treat neither addiction nor any of the other conditions Carmy has, such as C-PTSD, burnout syndrome, etc., all the other stuff I mentioned here in the extended version. What I didn’t mention there is Carmy’s neurodivergency, AUADHD (educated observation based on Carmy’s monologue in S1 and basically Carmy’s behavior during THE WHOLE SERIES and his untrained and innate talent in the arts that leads to alienation, etc) because neurodivergencies are not mental health issues, necessarily, so they shouldn’t be put on that list.

Carmy’s case is a clear case that IRL would be treated with a combo of Systemic Therapy + the classic line of treatment for addiction based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) + what nowadays is starting to be also paired with neuroscience therapy (NT) and giving very positive results. I won’t bore you even further with the figures but they can easily be found online.

My point is: The Bear, the name of the show, represents not just Carmy Berzatto, The Bear, but also the place where many souls come together to interact with each other and all those lives are going to intrinsically be changed by that experience, that has The Bear in common. Thus the show as a whole, including all of its characters, of course, is SYSTEMIC, which is the opposite of the Psychoanalytic approach. And it's super important to take this into account because the systemic approach in mental health and in every other field where it's applied, like in business, or even education, etc is an approach in which everything is viewed as part of a whole, it's basically like a continuous dance between the individual personal perception and it's environment and how they both affect each other, whereas the psychoanalysis' ultimate goal is getting as deep in the individual psyche as possible, dive into the individual's deepest unconscious.

In case you are wondering, I do have the credentials but I'm also and most importantly, one of those who believe that you don't need credentials to discuss mental health, and this show is among other stuff very much about mental health. What you need is the desire to be aware of it and as a matter of fact, I strongly advocate IRL for mental health to be actively talked about in class since elementary school and included as part of the curricular activities throughout the entirety of the school years, all the way to Senior year. Basically, I'm all for even kids with no Elementary education credentials talking about mental health. Mental Health shouldn't be an elite topic, or taboo, or necessarily a "problem". That doesn't mean that misinformation should be spread, clearly, and I have seen A LOT OF IT AROUND HERE LATELY WHICH DROVE ME NUTS, but it does mean that the fact that I have plenty of credentials to talk about this matter, is not the point.

So, back to my point: when those kids go out into the "adult world" they not only have an accurate self-awareness about their own mental health, but they also have more empathy for others and tools to cope with what we all know they will have to cope at some point in a world that is far from perfect, but most importantly have compassion. All of this to say: cases like Carmy's, Donna's, Michael's, Chef Fields, etc could be prevented or not as dramatic if we'd look at mental health as "a must" to be dealt with from a very young age, at home, school, later at work, etc. We shouldn't talk about it only if there's a problem that moves us to go and get help, or that makes us wanna go to therapy. NO! Mental health awareness can be as simple as a breakfast at home where we actually talk and listen for a few minutes while we have that cup of coffee or dig into that bowl of cereal, mental health awareness can be us watching The Bear as a family and using that space to vent about how we see ourselves or our families represented by that scene on the screen, mental health awareness can be us choosing not to lash out at someone WHO DESERVES IT BC THEY ARE BEING A BULLY or trying to get attention in a passive-aggressive way and rather set healthy boundaries, this can be practiced online or offline, of course. Mental health awareness is understanding -or trying our best to- that the person we are interacting in one way or the other with, can very well be in this headspace:

I said understand, not necessarily tolerate. But that understanding based on compassion can change it all. That is my point.

Bonus track: I am still mad at Storer but I forgave him, kinda like what Syd keeps doing with Carm because she gets what I just said, she's a natural. BUT Storer is still, and will always be, my spirit animal because he portrayed mental health like I have never seen on TV before. No misstep he takes, and he did take a few this last season, will ever undo the amazing job he did in the past, and I will always be grateful to him for that. He started a conversation that was loooooooooooong overdue.

[s0uth3park]

do you think the fandom on here will become more alive when season 27 starts airing?

Oh god. I don’t even know.

I, for one, am just here. I appreciate S19 and before way better than any newer content (except for 20-21 which have a special place in my heart, but are far from my favourites – I don’t really watch them as much, either). In fact, I’ve hardly touched the newer seasons, and the other week when I watched the season with the teenager episode, it was actually my first time watching?

The teenager episode really surprised me, especially with the ending. It was good; it was better than the other modern episodes. Real gem, there.

I think because of the show technically – visually, audibly, and from the preferred plots at the time – has different phases, there’s very different niches within the fandom.

We have a sort of ground layer of fandom at this point and the newbies from the new season will be fresh soil – maybe younger people / kids coming in after having seen clips on TikTok or compilations on YouTube, looking to go back through the seasons. Maybe they would be the opposite to me, preferring the milder modern seasons to the ones that have come long before.

We also need to take into account that (while not “scientifically proven” like Sonic was, or whatever happened with that), South Park attracts a lot of neurodivergent people. Mostly in the form of hyperfixations, and with a new season, it may float further toward the public eye or to trending tags online, resulting in an influx of hyperfixating fans.

It sounds a bit harsh, saying that, actually. I don’t mean it to be 😭

But, yeah – the new season will certainly bring new soil atop our ground layer, of course coming with that material divide, and maybe over time we’ll see a merger, and the fandom will grow, perhaps marginally, perhaps greatly, and flower.

We also need to account for the fact that even just on Tumblr alone the South Park tag fluctuates heavily from trending to not trending, usually due to just a good piece of fanart popping off.

Now imagine that on Twitter.

I think the exponential growth will most likely occur over on Twitter. In preparation for the new season and after. All the larger webcomics for SP are on Twitter, copiously, and art typically gets more traction there than on Tumblr. I mean, I assume on Tumblr there’s more word– or reaction–based interaction, but in terms of numbers, Twitter wins.

There’s… also the migration (haha – get it? – bird puns) from Twitter to Tumblr, isn’t it? Is that still happening? I know it was a big deal last year or the year before I think. I don’t know, I don’t really pay attention to that stuff. I know there was a lot of discourse over Tumblr etiquette and how it was rather easy to spot an ex-Twitter user without even needing to ask because, while typically polite and complimenting, they didn’t stick to the unspoken etiquette of Tumblr.

I think Strange Æons did a video on it? I know outside of her, a lot of people posted about it. Lists of rules, a bit confusing to the outsiders…

We might see a lot of that in the fandom.

I don’t really know how to directly answer your question, Anon. I’m sorry. Maybe further think of my soil analogy – or change it to snow, to be more fitting with South Park’s original climate. Up to you.