#like i went to a major university yeah but you hardly expect to walk out of class and see the dalai lama

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

Would you see FortPeat if they came to your area?

Maybe?

If they were in, like, Chicago, I probably wouldn't bother, but if they were like, in my city... probably?

Part of me would be very surprised if they bothered to come here, but like... I also wouldn't be super surprised. There is a massive Thai population here, and even the Dalai Lama used to come (in part to visit his brother who lived in the area, and he passed away)

[phantompanties]

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

And They Were Roomates

Summary: It's your senior year at New World University, and there's been some changes to the dorms since you went home for your summer break. As such, roommate plans have been rearranged, and you were to meet your new one today. Imagine your shock when the man who walked through the door was your tormentor for most of your life here...

Relationship: Eustass kidd x Fem!reader

Tags: modern au, college au, Kidd is a bully, sexual tension, hatefucking, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, name calling, rough sex, creampie, brat taming if you squint, Kidd catches feelings at the end

Length: nearly 3k words

The lock of your dormitory door clicked as you twisted the key, granting you access. When you were welcomed by a dark entryway, you realized your mysterious new roommate wasn’t here yet. No matter, you didn’t mind being here first.

Due to a complication with the system, you were unable to find out who your roommate for this semester was going to be. It truthfully made you a little nervous, as your last roommate was a total sweetheart named Koala, a political science major who dabbled in martial arts. The two of you became fast friends during the previous few semesters, but alas, life wasn't so kind this time around. Starting fresh wasn’t bad though. You at least hoped that your new roommate would be just as nice as Koala. You pulled your luggage into one of the two small bedrooms allotted to you. You found it a little strange that there were two bedrooms, as you were used to the same single-room dorms you and Koala shared, but it wasn’t unwelcome. It felt like a luxury to actually have some privacy. When you were finished, you looked around the common area. It was very cramped, only having room for a loveseat and an itty bitty coffee table across from the small TV mounted to the wall, but again, it was far bigger than the dorms you were used to. You were actually kind of excited!

Of course, that excitement was interrupted by the door swinging wide open, and your heart sank when a familiar broom of red hair ducked through the frame.

When his amber eyes caught sight of you, his whole face soured. “No fuckin’ way. You!?”

Oh sweet merciful lord, NO. Eustass Kidd!? Your mysterious roommate is the biggest pain in your ass since you enrolled!? He’s done nothing but bully you around like a middle schooler every time the two of you had a class! This bastard was the number one reason you were so happy to go home for the summer every year!

You swallowed your shock and disdain, attempting to figuratively be the bigger person. “I… wasn’t expecting this…”

“Yeah, well neither was I!” he spits, his Scottish accent thick in his speech. “I have the bloody misfortune of rooming with this fuckin’ twat!”

“Excuse me!?” you bark. “How dare you!?”

“Ya heard me, bird. I can’t fuckin stand bein’ around yer prissy arse.”

“Prissy!?” you exclaim. “Well excuse me for actually caring about my appearance! You always look like you just rolled out of bed!”

“It’s called bein’ punk, ya dafty.” He shoots back. “That’s the bloody point.”

“I’ve seen punks that take better care of their appearance than you! Not to mention the stench every time I have the misfortune of being near you. If you’re gonna live here, at least take a fucking shower every day!”

“Oh, that’s rich comin’ from the twat that reeks like she bathes in a tub o’ perfume every mornin’! How many bottles do ya go through a week? I can smell ya from three rooms over!”

“It’s a nice smell and I hardly use that much!” you shoot back. “Maybe if you stopped huffing engine fumes all goddamn day you’d be able to appreciate it.”

“Hah!” he barks out a laugh. “At least I’m usin’ my time for somethin’ useful! Aren’t you majorin’ somethin’ bloody useless? Like English?”

“I’m a Communications major, dumbass. Big difference.”

“Aye, whatever. Don’t get yer knickers in a twist.” Kidd huffs, throwing his prosthetic arm up and dragging his luggage to his bedroom. Thank god the two of you at least had separate rooms…

When he returned from his room, he pointed at you. “We’re gonna have tae lay down some ground rules, bird. Coz if I’m stuck roomin’ with ya, I want my life to at least be a little tolerable.”

“I should be saying that…” you huff, crossing your arms.

“One, keep yer bleedin’ trap shut. I hate listenin’ to ya yap enough as it is.”

“You can’t just tell me to be quiet, asshole!” you argue. “That isn’t fair!”

“Life ain’t fair, ninny. Two, stay the fuck away from my room. If I catch a whiff of yer stench on any of my shit, there’ll be hell to pay.”

“That goes the same for you.” you agree.

Kidd snorts. “Three, you’ll let me bring over whoever the hell I want and ya won’t say a damn thing about it. That includes whoever I feel like shaggin’ that night.”

“Oh great, I get to listen to you disappoint your lovers in real-time. Is it my birthday?” you snark.

“Oy! Don’t be callin’ me some one-pump-chump, bird. You’d be surprised to know how many hoors I got blowin’ my phone up every day.”

“I didn’t call you a one-pump-chump,” you say with a smirk. “You’re telling on yourself.”

Kidd choked on air, and you felt like you could dance in victory. You actually got one on him! This is a high you’ll be riding for the rest of your life!

“Right, now listen here, ya cheeky cunt.” Kidd, growls, getting in your face and poking you in the chest with his prosthetic hand. “Don’t be thinkin’ that just coz ya made a little joke that yer above me. I guarantee that I can have ya shakin’ and screamin’ my name all night.”

“Looks like I struck a nerve,” you say, still smirking and looking up at his fiery eyes. “But I don’t believe your empty lies, Kidd. sorry.”

“Oh, it’s not a lie, bird…” Kidd growls, lifting your chin with his metal finger. “It’s a promise.”

Something about the way he said that sent electricity shooting down your belly and into your groin. Fuck, you hated this bastard, but the way his bright eyes were boring into you so hungrily made you wanna squeeze your thighs together.

“What do ya say, bird? Ya want a ride with the Eustass Kidd? The way yer lookin’ at me, I’d say yes…”

“Don’t call yourself “the” Eustass Kidd like you’re some kind of celebrity, dumbass.” you snarked.

“Oy, do somethin’ about that mouth o’ yours or I’m gonna do it for ye,” he growled, gripping your jaw and squishing your cheeks.

“Do it, you won’t,” you whispered, challenging him.

Kidd smashed his ruby-painted lips into yours then, groaning in a way that made your core throb. He moved his hands down to your ass, squeezing with both his flesh and prosthetic hands. Your hands travelled up his broad chest, hooking around his thick neck. When his tongue licked your greedy lips, you opened them, permitting him to shove it down your throat. The air became heated as the two of you clicked your teeth together, rubbing and grinding your bodies in an intense display of raw lust.

You squeaked as his rough hands picked you up like you weighed nothing, wrapping your legs around his torso. He smirked into your lips as he carried you to his bed.

Once there, he threw you into his sheets, not even waiting for you to settle out the first couple of bounces before he went and attacked your pretty lips again. He could feel that his lipstick was smudged all over both of your mouths, but he didn’t give a fuck. You tasted too fucking good, and he wanted more.

He disconnected your lips for a moment, smirking at the translucent string of saliva that connected your tongues. He removed his faded band tee, revealing his thick, muscled body scarred from years of reckless street fighting. He went in to tug your shirt off next, groaning in your ear. “Let me see that fuckin’ body of yours, bird.”

You gasped breathlessly, helping him remove your blouse and bra. When your chest was bare, he licked his lips approvingly. “Been wantin’ to see these pretty tits since I met ya.”

“Yeah, I bet, pervert.” you snark.

Growling, Kidd dove into your neck, biting and licking while he pinched your nipples in his warm flesh hand, rolling and tugging between his fingers. You bit your lip, holding in your moans.

“Ah, ah, don’t be doin’ that birdie. Let me hear how much ya love it,” he smirked against your skin.

“Y-you’ll have to do better than that, Useless Mid.” you challenge. “You aren’t getting shit from me.”

“Oh, the little prissy miss has a spine, eh? Very well.” you shivered when he looked you dead in the eyes. The look he was giving you was downright predatory.

In a swift motion, KIdd tugged down your sweats and panties at the same time, revealing your glistening folds. You looked away from his face then, embarrassed.

“Aww, are you gettin’ shy on me, bird? Where’s your cheeky jokes?”

“Sh-shut the fuck up…” you mumble, still not looking in his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’re a virgin, love. Surely you’ve shagged at least a few times with this body of yours.”

“I-I don’t think that’s any of your business!” you gasp at him.

“I’m right ain’t I?” he grins.

“No, you’re not!” you shout, covering your face in annoyance. “I’m just not used to it being like this!”

“Ah, but you like it, don’t ya, bird? Yer as wet as a drowned rat.”

“Shut up…”

“I bet your minge tastes just as sweet as your mouth, birdie. I’m gonna give ya the face ride o’ yer fuckin’ life.”

“Stop talking and do it already you- hnnHHAAHH!”

You couldn’t contain your moan when Kidd’s rough tongue licked a stripe up your sopping folds, and he chuckled. “There it is. Keep making those sounds, pretty girl.”

You hated to admit this, but this was probably the best head you’ve gotten in your life. Kidd drank from you greedily like you were a water fountain and he was dying of thirst. The way his lips latched around your clit and the sounds of him slurping from your dripping hole were enough to make you go crazy. Your hand found his mess of scarlet red hair, tugging him further into your aching pussy as you ground it on his face. Kidd couldn’t contain his moans and the vibrations shocked your clit deliciously.

“Mmmhf… yer close, ain’t ya, bird?” he groans against your hole as he slurps. “Mmmngh… yer twitchin’ on me face. C’mon, then. Cum on my tongue ya dirty cunt. Y’know ya want tae.”

You gripped his hair harder with one hand and covered your mouth with the other, letting out a loud moan as your orgasm ripped through. Kidd moaned into your pussy as he lapped up your delicious cream.

While you were lying there, twitching with aftershocks, Kidd admired the new bright red pair of lipstick panties he left on your cute pussy. He wished his phone was closer to the bed so he could take a picture for his wank bank. Oh well, he had a good memory anyway.

“Sh-shit…” you gasped. “Oh fuck…”

“Mmmh, that don’t sound like disappointment to me, birdie,” Kidd smirks, leaning in front of your face.

“S-so what? You may be good with your mouth, but it doesn’t change the fact you’re a one-pump-chump…”

“You’re losin’ yer edge, lass. You don’t sound like ya mean that anymore.”

“Shut up, asshole.” you spat, although still breathless. “I’m not changing my mind.”

“Well, then I’ll just have to make ya, then.” he chuckles.

Kidd momentarily stepped off the bed to remove his belts and pants, revealing a sizable tent in his boxers. You swallowed in anticipation, a little nervous.

Kidd made a show of revealing his cock, and by god, Kidd was a large man, and that thing was proportional. Your eyes widened in both hunger and a little bit of fear and he laughed.

“Ya like what ya see, birdie?” he asks, stroking it slowly.

“It’s… bigger than I expected…” you whimper.

This seemed to stroke Kidd’s ego exponentially because he gave a low growl. “That’s right, bird. And every last inch is gonna fill ya right up.”

He knelt back on the bed, pulling your hips forward and slowly rubbing his cock up and down your pussy.

“Ah yeah, you’re nice n’ wet for me, ya dirty girl. It should slide in no problem.”

“W-will it fit…?” you gulp.

You saw Kidd’s cock twitch at that. “Careful, bird. You’re askin’ for me to break the bed when ya talk like that.”

Kidd lined himself with your drooling hole, slowly pushing himself inside. He threw his head back as your gummy walls fluttered around the intrusion.

“Fuck…” he moans. “So hot… so tight…”

You gripped the sheets as he slid further into your walls, nearly bumping your cervix with his blunt tip.

“Shit… yer like a bloody vice on my cock, birdie…” he groans, biting his lip.

“You’re just too fucking big!” you whine.

“Yeah, but you love it,” he says, leaning down and smirking in your face. “Yer hips are movin’ on their own, love. Ya want me to rail ya senseless, don’tcha? Ya want me to ruin other guys for ya? I’ll give ya what ya want, birdie. I’ll make you addicted to my cock.”

“Nnghf… shut up and fuck me!” you snap.

Kid grinned wildly, diving into your neck and slowly pulling out, then slamming back in. he gave a few harsh thrusts before he set a brutal pace, fucking you like a man possessed. It wasn’t a stretch to say he was, your pussy just felt that fucking good.

You whined, scrambling to find his neck for purchase. God the feeling of him stretching you was heavenly. You couldn’t help but rake your nails across his shoulders. Kidd leaned back from your neck, admiring the deep bite marks he left as he pounded you. Now Kidd was in there deep, but he felt like he could go deeper. He took his big hands, both flesh and metal, gripping your hips and pulling you even further onto his cock. You gasped, eyes filling with stars as his blunt head kissed against your cervix. “God… I’ve been wanting to fill your cunt for so fuckin’ long… wish I’d done this sooner…!”

“F-fuck! Kidd!” you wail, your fingernails drawing angry red lines in his skin.

Kidd growled, grabbing the back of your thighs and folding you in half. The man had you in a mating press and was pounding into you so hard you were sure you heard the floor creaking. Your eyes rolled back into your head and Kidd chuckled, his eyes darkened with lust.

“I can feel ya gettin’ tighter, love. Ya wanna cum so bad, don’tcha? Yer already creamin’ so good on me. Say ya wanna cum, birdie. Tell me how bad ya want it.”

“F-fuck… fuck you, Kidd…” you whine, screwing your eyes shut.

“You’re already doin’ that birdie. C’mon now, don’t be shy. Tell me ya wanna cum. Beg for it. Fuckin’ scream it.”

“L-let me cum, Kidd, please!” you wail. “I need it! Fuck, please!”

Kidd groaned, cock twitching in your walls. “Good girl.”

His flesh hand travelled between your bodies. And his thumb met your clit, rubbing in tight circles. “Come on… cum on my cock, ya dirty cunt. Let the whole buildin’ know who ya belong to.”

White hot pleasure exploded in your veins, and your gummy walls clamped and fluttered on Kidd’s cock. A ring of white spilled around the base.

“Grrghh-FUCK!!!” Kidd moans, shoving his cock balls deep into you and painting your insides white with his hot sticky cum. He thrust a few times, riding out both of your highs until it got painful with overstimulation. When he was done, he collapsed with his face in your tits, being sure to mind his weight.

“Oh… oh my god…” you pant, mind thoroughly blown.

“Sounds like ya had a good time, birdie,” Kidd whispers in your ear.

You groaned. “A-alright fine… you’re good at sex, I admit it.”

Kidd surprised you by gently kissing your cheek, rolling off you and slipping his soft cock out of you at the same time.

As the two of you calmed down, you glanced at him. “So… you wanted to do that for a while, huh?”

For the first time you think you’ve ever seen, Eustass Kidd flushed bright red. You giggled, stroking your finger down his chest. “Did you spill a big secret?”

“Aye, haud yer wheesht, ya twat…” he grumbled.

“You don’t mean that Kiddy.” you tease. “You wanted me, admit it! How long have you been thinking about this?”

Kidd mumbled something incoherent, and you rolled over on his chest. “Say that again, Kidd. I can't hear you.”

“Fuck’s sake—since that time in class ya smacked the shite outta me for callin’ ya a bimbo.”

You couldn’t contain your snort. “Really? You got hard over a smack?”

Kidd flushed deeper. “I like when bonnies are able tae smack me around… it's a nice challenge…”

“Wow.” you say. “You’re full of surprises.”

“Shut it before I make ya regret openin’ that cheeky mouth o’ yours, bird.”

You snorted, resting your head on his large chest. “For what it’s worth, no one’s ever made me cum so hard in my life. I can barely feel my legs right now…”

Kidd grunted, wrapping his flesh arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “I suppose I can let ya stay here… just for tonight.”

“Oh, how gentlemanly.” you giggle, nuzzling into his large pecs. “Good, because you’re really comfortable.”

Kidd’s cheeks dusted pink. “Whatever, birdie. Just don't drool on me, aye?”

“No promises.” you sigh dreamily.

[ordonianhero]

Story time

Cw: mention of harassment

When I was in high school around early 2000s I joined “gay straight alliance”. During that time I studied the numbers of those apart of the lgbtq+ were discriminated against in schools when identifying as lgbtq+ and how schools felt with that. It grabbed the attention to our local news paper asking me to make a commentary piece in it. Mind you I was a junior in high school.

I wrote the piece with facts and proof how it was still on going. How schools need to change their policy on “S.H.” To included those apart of the lgbtq+ community. We brought a visual with desks that showed what daily life was like for those who are lgbtq and stories of people murdered based on their sexual and gender identity.

That summer school changed their policy, adding sexuality and identity of lgbtq+ being included based on things I said and did. In my senior year. I was saved by said policy. And here is how. I was in a class where I helped with disabled teens (since I couldn’t do p.e. For my health) there was a student who I friended and who begin reporting false reports I was making advanced on her. This was only when she found out I was a trans. Every day I was pulled out of class for false reports.

On Halloween i was nearly kicked from school till my parents slept in and explained what was going on since apparently nobody else would listen to me. I was was having panic attacks over this. Like imagine this. You’re in a class and being pulled out of it by a police officer to tell you to quit making advances on someone who you weren’t making advances towards. Yeah. That!

The school then finally recognized I was the true victim. Sadly their way of dealing with it was locking me in a class room for my safety I stead of dealing with the student making the false reports. My friends (bless them) took me side and went after the person and called them out on their behavior once they knew what happened.

The person left our school. This person used their religious belief to S.H. Me and make false reports because they thought they could get away with it. So…….

With all that going on in the Linked universe with this server. And then publicly posting (we got recites idiots) of their true behavior and such. Reminds me of this all over again. So no! I Will not let this happen again. NO WHERE IN YOUR RELIGION GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TARGET US IN THIS FANDOM. YOUR VIEW IS FAKE NEWS! (Also don’t quote the Bible, cause Bible was written like a fanfiction by people who had no connection to god/goddesses.)

So this my personal experience on this issue. Do I hate religion. No. I think religion is good in helping people better themselves in a spiritual side. However nowhere does religion excuse the amount of judgment a person makes. God/Goddesses love you no matter who you are. If your lgbtq+ they love you. If you believe differently (region wise) they love you. Racially different, you were loved.

Along the line of schools showing porn to children, people who have been found to be false. In elementary all we learned in separate gender classes about what to expect from our body changes. Middle school to high school was about being smart and using protection and about sexual transmitted disease. Nothing bout sexuality. Which was hardly touched on. Nothing pornagraphic! Doubt they are doing that even now! Your proof and reports are in fake reports. So hi. We are calling you out because you’re the reason majority of those who identify as lgbtq+ and such are the target of misinformation and people with dangerous ideology. Ones where many may ender their life due to your comments. To lot worst. So don’t “@“ me. I won’t respond, but will expose you, so people know who not to trust.

I am here to protect my fellow people. You didn’t need to say what you said, because now we all know in a app and fandom surrounded by people of all walks of life. Who we know not to trust. Don’t want to make it politics, well fuck. That was on you when you publicly announced the server. “Don’t like pride on a political commercial” guess what. Many died to make pride to happen. That ain’t political or commercial. That was wanting equality rights. To be allowed to love who they love and not be thrown in jail over it. Gay marriage, I can’t tell you how sad it is that people are so stuck thinking gay marriage ruins those who are straight. It harms no one. You’re the one worrying how it impacts you.

Gender affirming surgery is necessary. I know each state delt with that differently and yes a small percentage detransition. However Majora is medically necessary. Many doctors refuse to do surgery on those who are of teenage, unless parental okay and a clinical counselor signs off it is needed so this person gets ontop of hormone therapy. You facts are incorrect and done by people who have been found incredible.

So go on, play like we don’t know or seen your true shit. Your facts are false. Your language is harmful and we ain’t throwing an tantrum. We are calling you out. Your views are false views based of fake documents. And if your religion truely telling you to discriminated a whole community of folks based of how they are. That ain’t a religion.

Any ways. Enjoy your life. Must be hard to spend so much you life hating people based on fake shit.

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Book Drop Boy (Twice x Reader)

✧ pairing: library student worker!Twice x afab!student!Reader

✧ word count: 9.9k

✧ ao3 mirror

✧ warnings: college au/no quirks, maladaptive daydreaming (twice), twice is chaotic af, commits library related crimes, use of the term sweetheart a few times, smut, vaginal fingering/sex, doggy style, afab terms, no pronouns for reader, gratuitous swearing this is potentially the softest thing I've ever written, like she's pretty tame idk what Twice does to me

✧ summary: In which Twice learns that sometimes dreams do come true, except those dreams are just the maladaptive fantasies of a broke library receptionist and, while sexy, also involve more fraud than he expected.

✧ a/n: Hey y'all, this is set in the same universe as my shiggy college piece, but you don't need to have read that. There are some fun little easter eggs though if you have tho. This is like the most tame thing I've ever written and it's way longer than it was meant to be but oh well. Anyway, Twice deserves some love. Enjoy <3

Logically, Jin was aware you probably had no idea who the fuck he was.

But that really didn’t have any effect on the wildly intricate fantasy life he had created for the two of you during his long shifts behind the library reception desk. That, in fact, was the only reason he hadn’t up and quit just to save himself the embarrassment of another loud outburst in the middle of the most silent place on campus.

What was truly more shocking was the fact that none of those said outburst had gotten his ass kicked straight out the door.

But he held out.

If only for you.

Late nights or lazy afternoons you were always in the campus library—studying he assumed or…

'Studying,' because a lot of the time he noticed you’d show up with a drink from the cafe a few blocks down, set out a line of colored pens and not touch a single one of them for hours, content to stare blankly at the chipped desktop. And even that Jin was more than happy to watch.

He did a lot of watching.

Mostly because he wasn’t permitted to leave the desk unattended unless there were piling up returned books which needed to be replaced quickly.

So instead, he pretended to be busy scrolling through something on his old as hell monitor—which was conveniently set up directly across from the comfy chair/desk combo you always managed to grab—and he indulged in day dreams where you’d bring him a coffee from the cafe when you came in and set it on his desk, maybe kiss him on the cheek, maybe loiter by his workstation and play with his hair and—

Yeah.

It was a lot.

But you were always in that chair, always working or pretending to work and you never seemed to notice the uninterrupted hours of staring Jin did, so what was the harm?

If you never knew, you’d never get creeped out—cause it was creepy, he knew that, oh fuckin' boy did he know it was real goddamn weird.

He just couldn’t seem to give it up. Especially when the conditions presented perfectly for some good uninterrupted, totally not stalker-y at all, fantasizing.

Sometimes he thought you might have some mundane superpower that let you always snatch that perfect seat right across from his computer, and made it so the library was just cool enough that he’d get to watch you shrug on that cute extra sweatshirt you always brought. So he could catch a glimpse of some skin—in a totally normal and not invasive way—when your arms went over your head. So he could imagine it was his ratty old sweaters you were wearing just so you could smell him on you and god he really wanted to get close enough to smell you—was that too weird? No. Yes? No.

Not at all.

But the best part, the part that really convinced him on those awful days when he really just could not be bothered to drag himself out of bed and walk the couple blocks to campus just to sit in awful silence alone, in his head alone with the fucking thoughts that made him want to rip his hair out—

What made it worth it was those times every few weeks when your classes would get new assigned readings. Because then you’d have to check out new textbooks, since you were one of those geniuses that had figured out the library kept a ton of those books in stock. Of course you were, cause you were fucking perfect.

And when you had to check out new books, you had to come to reception.

Jin got to watch as your lovely figure moved through the stacks like you were ballroom dancing along the halls of faded, sea-green shelves, almost floating over the linoleum trying to find just the right volume in the right addition before anyone else beat you to it.

It was one of the most gorgeous things he’d ever seen.

Spinner would call him a fucking simp if he ever dared to uttered any of that out loud, but it didn’t matter.

If it was you, he’d simp for fucking life.

And then, you’d walk that fucking glorious ass over to his desk and plop the books down, smiling—cause you were polite like that, so fucking perfect he couldn’t hardly believe it sometimes—and asking how his day was while he checked you out in every sense of the phrase.

In a completely platonic and not freaky way.

So Jin kept coming to work, to that god awful job he really hated and which hated him just as vehemently. He clocked in every day and waited patiently like a fucking puppy counting the hours till its workaholic owner arrived home, ears perking up when you walked through the door and flashed your ID to the attendant.

If only for that.

He’d put up with his boss’ complaints and the weird stares he got when the thoughts just wouldn’t stay in his head anymore and he had to start talking to himself to fill the silence.

If only for that.

Those few hours when he could lose himself in the fake inner life where you were waiting for him when his shift let out, waiting to gather him, tired and understimulated, into your arms. Where you’d sneak into the back room with him just to chat and lace your fingers with his and maybe sit that fucking wonderful ass up on the tables so he could stand in between your thighs and you’d pull him down to—

Yeah.

That was enough.

***

It wasn’t until Tuesday when he had to come in again that week, and he already knew it was gonna suck balls.

Friday he’d gotten another round of complaints from some stuck up fucking business students—it was always the fucking business majors with those silver spoons so far up their asses—snitching to his boss that he’s been ‘disruptive’ and ‘disturbing’ during his last shift.

“Not my fucking fault,” he muttered under his breath, kicking a rock along the side walk he’d picked up two blocks before. “Yes it is. No it’s not!”

Jin groaned and tugged at his hair, wishing he’d brought a Tylenol or something to curb the headache that was already sticking it’s ugly ass claws into his temples. He really, really heavily contemplated just ditching, calling in sick or some shit. Technically he was a student worker, so they had to work with his DRS accommodation and he was actually having a bad fucking time.

But one of his friends had already texted to ask if he’d try and reserve them that sweet ass study room on the third floor and Jin wasn’t really looking to disappoint anyone else this week. Besides, it was fun to abuse his minuscule power. Fun to go corrupt for once. Fight the system and all that.

He liked to think you’d be proud of him for it, based on the kinds of texts you checked out at least.

So, he dragged his sad ass back to the looming library looking far too much like a prison than was necessary and clocked in. Actually, the first thing he did was check the chair—your chair and nobody else’s chair, he might actually make a fucking scene if somebody ever did steal it—and his face visibly fell when you were not occupying it.

It was a bit early, Jin supposed as he paused briefly when he noticed the can of Monster and rando vending machine chips sitting next to it by the reception computer. The sticky note slapped to the top read 'For your troubles' in familiar handwriting and that pulled a bit of a smile from him as he quickly rearranged the scheduling of study room sign ups so the fancy third floor room would be free for the rest of the night.

Then Jin sat, staring at the study room schedules for a moment, feeling his eyes softly glaze over until a hand slapped down on the raised lip of the reception desk.

“Hey bro,” Spinner greeted him with a wild smile and a flurry of bright pink hair.

Jin had to blink a few extra times to get his vision to clear. When it did he saw, horrifyingly, that he’d been staring at the fucking blank screen for two hours without moving.

Why was it that his head was either deadly quiet, devoid of even a single errant thought or so loud as fucking shit at all times that he couldn’t physically keep the thoughts in?

“Hey, dude, what’s up?” Jin asked, running a hand through his unruly hair.

“Aren’t you supposed to like shush me or something?”

Spinner chuckled a bit at his own god awful joke and Jin couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed, too glad for the company.

“I mean,” he shrugged, popping the can of Monster and ignoring the dirty looks he got for the sound. “I would if I was, uh, good at my job.”

“Which I’ve heard you definitely are not,” Spinner wrapped his fingers over the lip of the desk and leaned back on his heels, swaying side to side idly.

“You’re just figuring that out now?”

Jin didn’t bother watching while Spinner nearly tripped over himself fidgeting as he spun to stand at the little gate that corralled Jin inside like livestock. He was too busy glancing over to check you hadn’t slipped in while his brain had taken a trip to the astral plane without him.

“No, I been knew, but my sources tell me you’ve gone off the rails my friend,” long legs stepped over the wooden partition until the only friend he had who was quite possibly more annoying than Jin himself was sat on the counter next to his computer. “Finally been radicalized have you?”

Jin huffed and sipped his Monster, “Guess it fuckin’ took me long enough.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Spinner was messing about with the stacks of multicolored sticky notes littered across the desk before glancing up to wink at Jin. “So what can I get you to do for me in exchange for free food?”

“Now I really am gonna fucking shush you,” Jin smashed his finger against Spinners grin only to get a hand covered in spit for his trouble.

“Right, right,” Spinner held his hands up in defeat, “can’t have you cheating on your sweetheart.”

“Not my—yes I’m in a committed fictional relationship thank you very much—ugh!”

Jin could feel the heads shooting up from laptop screens and textbooks to stick daggers in his back with their angry stares. Spinner at least had the good sense to look a little fucking guilty for egging him on.

“Sorry bro, I had to shoot my shot ya know?” a hand disappeared into the mop of bubblegum locks in apology.

“It’s fine…” Jin trailed off, mumbling and blushing more than a little profusely as he turned to check the book drop box. “Not like I’m ever gonna fuckin’ shoot mine anyway.”

“Oh we are not gonna have that kinda of shit discussion,” Spinner’s hand shot out and grabbed him firmly by the shoulders, spinning Jin in his chair. “On god bro, we’re gonna get you a date one of these days.”

Jin didn’t dignify that kind of lie with a response.

Spinner once again, had the good sense to not push the envelope any farther.

“And in the meantime, you can come to the League meeting tonight!”

“Your gaming club thing?”

“Yeah, it’s Smash night and we need to fill a space sooooo…”

Jin knew Spinner and his roommate—the same friend who he’d gone study room rogue for—had started a gaming club their freshman year. Spinner had been trying to strong arm him into attending ever since. To, as he put it, ‘socialize,’ and ‘make new friends.’ All things which Jin was patently horrible at and avoided like the plague.

Needless to say, he’d refused every time.

It wasn’t just the whole being alone with like two people he kinda knew in a room full of strangers. Games themselves were just a lot for him. The flashing colors and the loud noises made his head—which was already so fucking full all the time and he really needed to keep any extra scrap of space for extra random facts he picked up about you and your future married life together—get a bit misaligned.

They just weren’t his jam most of the time.

“I’m good, thanks for the offer though,” Jin twisted out of Spinner’s grasp and craned his head to check your seat again.

Still empty.

He sighed.

Spinner continued to ramble and Jin continued to only half listen. It wasn’t as pleasant to day dream when you weren’t there for the added visual aesthetic. And he was trying to not be a dick and ignore the one friend he had managed to keep around over the years. But it was hard when his mind had a mind of its own.

Wow.

Meta.

“Jin?”

The voice—deep and dark in such a dramatically ominous way it might have been funny if it didn’t belong to his permanently disgruntled supervisor—interrupted his already derailing train of thought.

“Oh, uh, hello sir,” Jin stuttered, turning to find Kurogiri leaning against the reception desk with one arm, turning only slightly to accommodate Spinner’s form bolting over the gate and out the library doors.

He did manage to throw a fading, “See ya later, bro” over his shoulder before he disappeared around the corner.

Yeah thanks for the warning, bro.

“Aren’t you supposed to be reshelving the books from the drop box?” Kurogiri sighed, perpetually disappointed in a way that had Jin’s face burning and shame bubbling up in his throat.

He hated this job. He was objectively terrible at it, and so usually he wouldn’t give that much of a shit at not doing it well. Kurogiri just had some type of vibe—like daddy but not in the sexy way Spinner always joked about—that made it really, really upsetting to let him down.

Father figure? Yeah that's what it was called.

“Right, yeah um, sorry,” Jin nodded quickly and leapt from his chair, only mildly bruising his knee on the desk as he reached to empty the book drop.

Another incorporeal sigh was the only acknowledgement he received as he loaded the cart with wheels louder than Jin on a particularly bad day and rolled the pile of books back to the stacks. He paused once more, just before the sea green shelving units swallowed him up, to sneak another futile peak at your chair. But it still sat empty—empty and lonely with no you and cold without your body pressed against the worn upholstery.

Jin felt a chill too, a slow tingling thing that worked its way up from the base of his spine. It drove him deeper into the walls of books, away from the empty spaces.

It was harder to look.

Harder to be reminded of what he did not have.

Of what he’d never have cause he was too much of a goddamn pussy to ever just fucking talk to you—

But then what if he did? What if he did talk to you? What would happen then?

Those were the types of questions he tried to avoid when crafting your intricate, fictional lives together. Precisely because they were the easiest to answer.

You’d realize within the first five minutes or so of conversation—if Jin could even make it that far without embarrassing himself—that he was just a generic brand weirdo that all your pretty, normal, aesthetically pleasing friends would warn you to stay away from and because you were also pretty and normal and not a fucking idiot, you’d have the common sense to listen.

He’d lose you in the blink of an eye.

Your chair would sit cold and empty forever and the imaginary garden he’d been planting for you to come imaginarily home too would wilt and die like all the other happy thoughts in his head.

It was quite the conundrum and one Jin was not keen to solve soon.

Not that things ever really went his way. Cause problems could only be avoided for so long before all that time spent ignoring them came back to bite him full on the ass.

Which, apparently, came this time in the form of what had to be quiet, muffled sobbing drifting in between the shelves from the back hallway.

It was dark here in this section of the building—free of most windows so as not to cause any sunning damage to the books—and Jin had seen more than enough horror movies to know that it was a horrendous idea to follow the ominous crying sounds coming from the bowls of this old as fuck building. But even as he made up his mind to ignore it, the hand currently working one of the returns back into its proper place dropped the book to his cart as his feet slowly turned to face the corridor.

He looked around skeptically for a second, not entirely certain his poor brain hadn’t simply malfunctioned again, as it was wont to do, and fabricated the sound entirely. But as he peaked out from between the stacks, and down the dimly lit hall, he heard it again.

Echoey and soft in the wide, empty space it—was definitely coming from the hall and it was definitely a person.

Jin caught himself moving without ever meaning too, the books laying forgotten as he crept towards the source of the noise and paused just before leaving the stacks entirely. This hall was full of small alcoves built into the centuries old walls and led to the lesser used storage portions of the library that only the janitorial staff and the university librarians ever entered. He really didn’t want to stumble across someone from the special collections department bawling over a damaged or lost manuscript.

But his wayward feet pushed him forward, too sympathetic for his own good. He found himself shuffling down the abandoned hall, peering into each small dip in the walls to find the source of his distraction.

And when he did, Jin was—for once in his life—thankful for his lack of self-preservation instincts.

And cursed his blatant lack in interpersonal skills.

Because it was you.

You curled with your knees to your chest and your head in your hands, shoulders shaking, as you cried into your palms.

The universe had handed him maybe the only golden opportunity he would ever get on right on a platter.

But Jin didn’t have a fucking clue what do with it.

And there certainly wasn’t much time to formulate a game plan as his nervous breathing and sudden intake of breath upon discovering his imaginary lover sniffling right in front of him, had certainly alerted you to his presence.

Your head shot up in an instant, knocking dully against the stone wall with a thud.

“Shit,” you cursed and hands flying up to cover the area as Jin jumped on the spot at your outburst.

“Are you okay?” he asked lamely as you glanced over at him, eyes red and wet and so fucking sad oh fucking god, widening as you realized you’d been caught.

“Huh? Ye—oh uh, yes,” your words came out jumbled, legs unfolding quickly to push yourself off the bench and hands wiping furiously at your eyes. “I’m fine, sorry.”

“You sure about that?”

Jin cringed visibly and frowned at the way you deflated under his stare. God the first fucking time he actually talks to you and he already made an ass of himself.

Spinner’s roommate was such a liar, it really fucking sucked to be right sometimes.

“I mean,” you crumpled back down onto the ledge and Jin took a careful step closer, “no, but yes. Like I’m definitely having a breakdown in the back of the fucking library but I don’t wanna, uh, bother you with that. So, yeah I’m good.”

“You can bother me,” he replied way too fucking quickly.

But he couldn’t really be embarrassed about it. Your voice was just so captivating, and you weren’t talking to him in that raised pitch anymore like you usually did—the way everyone does when they’re trying to be surface level and polite. No this was your voice how you sounded when you were relaxing with your friends or making breakfast in the morning or talking to yourself in the shower (he liked to think you did that, or sang maybe as you worked the soap into your skin, one of the two but he always imagined you filled silences with how fucking pretty you were).

“No, really. That would be weird, right?”

Jin grimaced as you fixed him with a watery yet suspicious stare.

Yeah it was weird.

Everything he did concerning you was weird, objectively. He was definitely being over-familiar and too eager, especially considering you didn’t fucking know him.

But he knew you.

Jin felt like he’d known you for all months he’d spent pretending to be by your side.

And you were crying and he had to do something.

“I mean, yeah I guess,” he mumbled, taking a risk and plopped down on the opposite end of the alcove and resting his head on the wall. “But not any weirder than having a breakdown in the employees only section of the library building on a Tuesday.”

You kept staring blankly for a few moments before the most miraculous thing happened.

Jin had to physically stop his jaw from hitting the floor when the quiet giggle bubbled up from your chest and spilled out into the hall, warm enough to melt even the freezing linoleum floor.

“Yeah, you’ve got a point,” your voice cracked a bit as a few more tears slid like pearls down your cheeks.

“My name’s Jin,” he said, shocked stupid both by your laugh and the apparent success of his comforting methods.

“Oh, hi, well I guess I don’t have to call you book drop boy anymore,” you rubbed at your face again and tucked your legs back into your chest, though it looked a bit more relaxed this time.

Not so trying-desperately-to-fade-out-of-existence.

“You called me that?” Jin asked, brain still functioning at half capacity, only shocked at the fact that he existed as a concept in your head enough to have a name and realizing a bit too late how accusatory he must have sounded. “Shit, I mean it’s totally fine I just didn’t think you, uh, well I mean, like, knew about me I guess?”

You finally smiled and his brain power cut out another fourth at being personally graced by the expression this close up.

“Yeah, you always check me out—fuck sorry not that you check me out, just you scan my books and I just called you ‘book drop boy’ in my head cause I never got a chance to ask for your name but I have it now so that’s cool….”

Your head dropped back down to your knees as you groaned and Jin suddenly felt a lot less nervous than he had a few seconds ago.

You were weird too.

For so long you’d existed on this pedestal thousands of feet in the air, and now you were stepping down from the heavens and onto earth. Not in a bad way! Just, Jin had never really stopped to think that you might be a person too.

Well.

No, he knew you were a person, just he never thought you might get flustered and ramble and be nervous in front of him.

Cause he was a fucking train wreck—the bar was so goddamn low.

It was almost as comforting as your smile.

“Oh, yeah sorry I’m not the best at customer service if you couldn’t tell,” he sighed and ran a hand through his wild hair.

You looked back up with a wry grin, “I don’t know, I’d say you’re going above and beyond right now.”

And you were funny.

He was gonna fucking combust.

“Ha, yeah, I try,” he trailed off for a moment before glancing back at your curled in your corner, fuck he could just imagine sitting behind you, your head on his chest while you—”So uh, did you wanna talk about it or…?”

“Uh, yeah,” you picked idly at the grouting of the stone and mumbled, “I guess it’s not so weird if we’re on a first-name basis.

And that was how Jin discovered that you’d been hiding in the back of the library bawling your eyes out for hours—since even before his shift started. Apparently you’d gotten here extra early, even skipped a class, to snag some super specific required text for your final thesis and right before you got to the shelf some jackass swooped in, effectively hit and running with the only copy of that book on campus.

The book in questions was one of the newer additions that had special added footnotes you needed for your paper and was a whopping 500 fucking dollars to rent from every other place online. You couldn’t afford it, and honestly what fucking student could? But you needed it to complete the paper or you’d fail and Jin very much understood the need for a good breakdown after a catastrophe like that.

“Damn, that’s uh, fucking awful,” he frowned on your behalf as your head hit the wall a second time in frustration.

“Yeah so, I’m like royally fucked either way. Now I just gotta decide which hole I’m taking it in I guess,” you groaned.

Jin’s eyebrows raised at your choice of words but they were apt, he supposed. People really do get comfortable with each other pretty quick when bonding over shared institutional rage.

“Well,” he began, wringing his hands nervously at what he was about to suggest. “You might be in luck cause I’ve recently decided to abuse my library powers for good and I maybe, possibly, could try and see if there’s some strings I can pull?”

You perked up a bit, looking at him incredulously.

Jin felt comfortably full under your stare.

“Seriously?”

The word was soft and it bounced off the walls just as much as it did the inside of his skull.

Swapping study rooms to help a friend out was one thing. But falsifying checkout dates for someone he barely knew—had essentially married in his maladaptive fantasies—could get him fired.

He hated this job but he needed it.

Were you worth the risk?

Of course, he found himself thinking without hesitation.

You were everything.

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded, any lingering uncertainty washing away at the way you looked at him through your lashes. “I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it.”

“Are you always this nice?”

Jin didn’t answer right away. He was too caught up in how you’d leaned forward on your hands across the bench, peering like he was some exotic animal or a stray cat in the parking lot—all soft wonderment with fingers curling like they ached to grab hold and rescue him from this parchment scented monotony.

“Not always…”

“Should I feel special then?”

If his face wasn’t red before, it was now. Red and blistering under the summer campfire heat that radiated off you—woodsy and warm and so painfully familiar like an old friend’s hand.

“...I guess you—fucking definitely, ” he quite nearly shouted the last bit, startled by his own volume and already mortified at the outburst but then you chuckled again from beside him.

He turned to see you standing and offering a hand which he gladly too if only to feel the weight of your palm against his.

“Well, you’ll have to let me pay you back then.”

“Oh, no you don’t actually—”

You held a hand up and the words turned to ash on his tongue in an instant, mouth glued shut by your gesture.

“Coffee on me or something, there’s a nice cafe a few blocks from here,” you dropped your hand and your eyes were clear now, no sign of the previous afternoon sobbing alone in the hallway. Jin felt a surge in his chest knowing he was the one who did that. “You gotta pass off the contraband anyway, and I don’t think it would be that great of an idea to do it here.”

God you were fucking perfect.

“Can’t argue with that.”

***

Jin was sweating profusely as he snuck past the library attendant, totally inconspicuous and not not all looking like he was doing a single thing wrong in the slightest.

Yeah they definitely didn’t suspect a thing.

The process of fraud was actually a lot less complicated of an undertaking that Jin had expected. All he had to do was search up the book, find the student that had stolen the success of his sweetheart’s educational career and flag his account. They’d get an automated message about the flag, instructing them to return any borrowed items or they’d be forced to pay fines while the account was examined.

Technically he needed administrator credentials to report student accounts, but luckily Kurogiri had his login info written on a sticky note hidden on the back of the monitor. All in all it was a pretty easy job.

The whole thing had taken only a matter of days, in which time you had returned to the library only twice—the first to get confirmation on the success of Jin’s newest descent into low level crime which had set his heart thundering in his chest as you bent conspiratorially over his desk, your face just inches from his.

The second time, Jin had horrifically been absent from his desk, however he was met with possibly the most wonderful sight of his life upon returning from the labyrinth of shelves.

On one of the hundreds of post-it note pads that littered the library reception area, there were scribbles that he was sure hadn’t been there before. He almost tossed it, but upon closer inspection, you’d written your number there and signed just below it. In the cutest fucking handwriting he’d ever seen—cute not for any stylistic reason, but it simply felt that way just by virtue of it being yours—was written the digits and “-for book drop boy”

The noise he made reading that turned more than a dozen heads and almost got him fired there on the spot before any of his indiscretions were even discovered, but he couldn’t find it in himself to regret it.

So, nerve wrackingly, Jin texted you as he nearly sprinted home from his shift after that piece of shit asshole who made you cry had trudged angrily in and dropped off his ‘stolen’ book.

— HEY IT’S JIN!

— from the library

— shit sorry that wasn’t meant to be in caps

— n e way….

— I’ve intercepted the ~package~ so whenever you’re ready for the hand off, I’m good

Most perfect fucking human being to…

Oh my god thank you so much!!!—

Is tomorrow at like 5ish good for you?—

Also send me your order—

so we don’t have to do that awkward waiting in line for drinks bit—

Holy fuck you multi-texted too! Spinner would roll over in his fucking grave, he hated when Jin did that. But there was always so much to say and he could never think of it all at the same time. Plus, you wanted to save him from that god awful silence where you both stand in line next but he can’t talk cause he has keep repeating his order in his head over and over or he’ll blank when he gets to the register so it’s just this painful weird glancing back and forth—

Ugh, maybe all the shit about manifestation that girl who always loaned him exacto knives in his sculpting class always talked about was real.

Cause there was no way you weren’t just heaven-sent, handcrafted especially for him and all his general brand of weird.

The hours which usually flew by without Jin’s notice dragged all that night. He was so full of excess energy that made his hand shake and his thoughts race, not sure what to do with themselves now that they didn’t need to fantasize about you.

He decided to use all that extra motivation to vacuum the kitchen at 4:30 in the morning, much to his roommates' chagrin. She liked to get a nice solid eight hours every night and constantly reminded Jin of this, trying to sell him on that sleepy time tea before bed, though he really hated the smell of camomile.

Magne may lose out on some of her beauty sleep—not that she needed it and Jin would tell her that constantly, even if he did have some patently horrible judgment most of the time so he wasn’t really the best at offering reassurance—but the kitchen would be clean when she woke up so win-win really.

When she did wake up—wandering out of her room looking effortlessly put together in a way Jin could never hope to emulate—she sat at the table, sipping her tea and appraising him worriedly.

Jin was still in his jeans from the day before, hair spiking in every direction but down, and chewing his nails nervously despite losing most of them to the hour or two of early morning floor scrubbing.

“Babe,” she shook her head slowly, “take a breath.”

“Yeah okay,” he sighed and inhaled deeply, letting himself slide off the couch cushions and to the newly sparkling floors on the exhale.

“There, now wanna share what the hell is going on?”

He glanced up at her from the hardwood and groaned as she looked back down, brows furrowed over her glasses.

“Huhh, okay. So that absolute work of art from the library is meeting me for coffee later cause I have trade over this book I sort of stole, it’s a long story, and I don’t know if it’s a date—it sounds like a date, cause that’s where people go for dates and shit—but it might just be to pay me back for stealing the book. And if it is I’ve only ever been on that one date before which was with fucking Spinner like two years ago so—”

Magne held up a hand to quiet Jin before the speed of his words tied his tongue in physical knots. She looked contemplative, taking another soft sip of tea and nodding her head for a moment getting up to crouch on the floor by his head.

“You think too much for your own good, but never about the right things,” she mumbled, smoothing some of the hair from his face. “Does it really matter if this is a date or not?”

Jin blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she chuckled in that way people do when kids ask them obvious questions—kindly, appreciative of the curiosity, “either way you cut it, you’ll be spending time with this person you like, yeah?”

“Mhm,” he hummed and sat up to face her as she stood.

“A date is just hanging out with a special name anyway,” Magne’s hands were firm but gentle as she hoisted Jin off the floor and onto his feet. “You’ll be fine.”

His shoulders slumped both in mild relief and dejection that he’d waisted so much precious time he could have been preparing possible topics of conversation or strategies to ask you out for real date on worrying over how this first time would go.

How did Magne always fucking know all this stuff?

Other people were such a mystery to him.

To be fair, though, Jin was a mystery to himself most of the time as well.

“Thanks, sorry for not saying anything about it earlier,” he sniffed as she smiled and pinched his cheek way fucking harder than necessary.

“It’s alright, I’m only a little insulted you waited until now to tell me about this massive crush you’ve developed.”

“Yeah it’s got its own gravitational pull at this point.”

Magne laughed at that and Jin felt the room lighten.

“I do expect details when you get back though,” she said pointedly, finishing her tea wandering back to her room to grab her bag. “Spinner asked me, very begrudgingly might I add, to fill in at another of his club tournament things tonight so I’ll be out late.”

“Really? I didn’t think you liked that stuff.”

Jin shuffled over to her doorway and peaked into the neat little space. Magne was rummaging through the meticulously organized closet and frowning as she answered.

“I do, Spinner just doesn’t agree with my battle strategies,” she huffed. “My alignment is far too ‘chaotic’ and ‘recklessly violent’ for his tastes apparently.”

“Oh, yeah that makes sense,” Jin laughed this time just envisioning the two of them stuck on a team. “Well have fun with that.”

“Yeah well,” she brushed by him into the hall, keys jangling as she went and calling over her shoulder. “Text me how it goes, and wear that new button up you got last week, it looks good on you!”

***

Much to Jin’s surprise and delight, Magne was right.

He was fine.

He was fine.

Fine was a bit subjective—as he was most certainly still highkey panicking on main as he got out of his last class and walked the short few blocks to the cafe on campus—but regardless he was perfectly okay.

Of course that all went right out the fucking window in the split second between him walking in and you already staring at the door as he entered. Your eyes widened just a bit and this smile broke out slowly across your cheeks when you waved him over and it was like suddenly every single creepy as hell day dream had just become reality.

It was a little overwhelming to say the least.

His heart may have actually stopped in his chest for a bit and he did contemplate the possibility that Kurogiri might have actually discovered his little plot, murdered him in cold blood and stuffed his body in the records room. This might all just be the afterlife, but that would mean that Jin had gone to some kind of heaven which didn’t really add up with his current tract record.

But it was fine.

Because you were really fucking easy to talk to.

Like, really fucking easy.

It was sorta strange actually, how you seemed to know all this shit he was into before he even really mentioned it.

After you traded off the goods, you both sat in the big comfy couches upstairs in the loft and you listened to him info dump, inevitably getting lost down innumerable unrelated tangents. You managed to keep up well enough though and not question the winding conversation.

“Damn,” he said, sipping at the last dregs left behind in his cup. “How do you know about all this stuff?”

“Uh,” you paused then, looking maybe just a bit sheepishly into your own drink. “I may or may not have spent a considerable amount of time eavesdropping into your conversations while you’re on shift.”

He saw flashes at that moment—dial up sounds going off between his ears.

Jin.exe has stopped working.

“...What?”

You grimaced and hid your face in your hands for a moment, “I know it sounds really creepy, my friends just sorta made a, um, game out of it? They tease me a lot about going to study at the library just cause of the cute guy that works there, so we all kinda stalk you a little bit just—wow this is sounding exponentially worse and worse every second.”

He gaped a bit despite himself as you cringed visibly and Jin tried to discreetly pinch his thigh to make sure this really wasn’t some sort of cruel, cruel fever dream.

“You think I’m cute…?”

He blinked once and your eyes shot up to meet his, a pained, half smile caught between your teeth. “I mean, yeah. I kinda thought I was being a bit obvious, sorry.”

“What no, holy fuck,” he spluttered, face on fire and legs bouncing restlessly against the couch across from you. “Don’t apologize, I have a, uh, staring habit too I guess.”

“I know,” you rubbed at the back of your neck and Jin didn’t think it was possible for you to be anymore endearing. “I’ve noticed, that’s like the whole reason I insisted on buying you a drink.”

“So wait is this a date?”

Jin wished almost immediately that he hadn’t asked, because Magne was right, it super didn’t matter but fucking shit on a stick he really wanted it to be a date!!!!

“Yeah,” you nodded. “If you’d like that.”

“Yes!—ah, I mean, uh yeah mhm,” Jin choked on his spit with enthusiasm, but it did earn him a concerned shoulder pat so he’d take the win.

It also afforded him the opportunity to walk you home after hours chatting until the streets were lit by burnt orange lamps and the cafe was closing. You didn’t live all that far from him actually and when you stopped to point out your door, the two of you were overcome by that telltale, charged silence.

Filled with potential.

Like a gas stove waiting for a spark to go up in flames.

It was you that struck the match.

“So, um, I promise I don’t just, uh, do this with everyone but, do you wanna maybe come inside,” you let your hand trail down his arm and slip into his palm, “I don’t feel like you’ve been properly compensated for saving my ass.”

Jin’s mouth was watering at the thought. He nodded slowly, eyes like saucers as you pulled him up your steps and through the door which shut promptly behind him.

Your place was nice in the sense that it fit you. He wasn’t really paying all that much attention to his surroundings as you locked the door and squeezed his hand in yours, leading him towards the end of the entrance hall.

When he stepped through to your bedroom, you toed off your shoes and he did the same, staring nervously and waiting for you to show him what exactly you meant by ‘further compensation.’

It was exactly what he’d hoped.

You approached him, still in the doorway, and stepped close so your chests brushed together. It was soft, the way you looked at him, sort of fuzzy around the edges while your hands trailed down his arms to place his palms at your waist.

It wasn’t like Jin hadn’t done this before—he totally had and definitely remembered all of it and wasn’t shit faced at all nope—but it hadn’t really mattered before. He knew in theory that he should take the lead, be a gentleman and make the first move and holy fucking god he was dying over there with the desire to finally live out his months and months of fantasies

But what if he did it wrong?

What if he ruined it now when he was so close to the finish line?

He’d never fucking forgive himself for it, and he could goddamn hear Magne in his head.

“You think too much for your own good.”

And he did, and he was right now, cause the room was only dimly lit by the street light streaming in through the window and you were reaching out to loop your arms behind his neck.

Should he lean down now?

Tilt left or right?

What if he clacked your teeth together?

What if—

Your lips were soft and hot against his, rubbing at the stubble on his chin before pressing close in that precious, puzzle-piece way human bodies fit together. He didn’t do much thinking after that.

His hands were too busy digging into the flesh of your hips separated by way to many fucking layers of fabric, and he couldn’t quite stop himself from indulging just a bit. Jin sucked gently at your lower lip, knees going weak at the glorious fucking sound you made in the back of your throat as he licked over the taught skin and tugged it between his teeth.

He could feel you smiling into his mouth, sharing breath and raking your fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. Jin groaned and you—fucking cheeky little bastard—slipped your tongue right past his lips and licked at the back of his fucking teeth like a popsicle in July.

Your hands in his hair hard tugged and his breath was coming faster, lips gliding against yours as the room turned to steam around him.

Through the haze he clung to the few remaining seconds of clarity.

Jin pulled away for one painful second to mumble against your lips.“You meant have sex, right?”

“Yeah,” your voice was barely more than a whisper, but you nodded frantically and rolled your hips against his.

“Ohh fuck, ‘kay good, thank god.”

For once Jin had nothing more to add.

And you weren't exactly willing to give him back his tongue long enough for any interruptions anyway.

***

“Holy fucking shit, look at you,” Jin gasped into your ear.

Both of your clothes had been discarded long ago, and he had your bare back to his chest while he sat propped against the headboard with your legs hooked on either side of his knees. It didn’t afford him the best view, but he got your head resting on his shoulder and pretty moans spilling right into his ear.

He didn’t need to see your pussy anyway.

The slick pouring out of your pretty fucking hole and coating his fingers as he pumped two of them into you was more than enough. His other hand wandered in the lovely expanse of space between your chest and your waist, running softly over the skin and pausing to pinch and roll your nipples just to hear you whine.

His cock was so fucking hard, trapped between your ass and his stomach, twitching every time you thrust your hips to meet the movement of his wrist.

“Jin, fuck please-”

You used his name every time you begged him for more and it was really going to his head.

“You’re so goddamn perfect, I’m gonna fucking ruin you,” he groaned and sunk his fingers deeper into your soaking cunt while his mouth dropped to your neck and sucked hard to mark you lovely skin.

He licked at the indents of his teeth, tasting your sweat on his tongue that tangled with yours again as your hand reached for his cheek and pulled him in. It was less of a kiss and more of a sloppy forming of your mouths that left you connected by a silvery string of spit that flashed in the low light. Jin sighed at the sight, rutting his hips against the cleft of your ass.

Your thighs twitched where they were spread and your hips lifted off the mattress to meet the languid thrusts of his fingers that curled up on every push in to hear the hitch in your breath.

He took pity on you and brought his other hand down to rub circles on your clit, listening for the telltale whimpers and the way your nails dug into his arm to find the perfect rhythm.

“I don’t really—mm, there fuck—feel like I’m paying you back right now,” you mumbled nipping your own trail of stepping stone bruises onto his throat as he picked up the pace and held steady on that sweet bundle of nerves.

“Are you fucking serious?”

He didn’t really mean to full on growl at you then, but just the thought that you’d really believe he wasn’t about to fucking drown in ecstasy just from watching you get off—just from touching, speaking, being in anyway acknowledged by you at all. Jin nudged your head to the side and bit down harshly into the crook of your neck, shuddering as you moaned and arched against his chest.

In any other scenario, he could never really find the right balance between too many words and not enough. The sheer volume of thoughts and interjections that raced like cars reaching the end of rush hour traffic made the formulation of any coherent conversation impossible, but now—

Now with your body so pliant in his hands, so willing and sweet and wanting him.

Wanting him.

What a concept.

He needed you to understand, to know how fucking over the moon, sunshine bright you had him burning.

And for once, he finally had the words to do it.

After all, he’d had months to prepare.

It was surprisingly easy to change your positions, to pull away from you for just a moment so he could roll and cage you on your hands and knees under him, ass in the air nestled against his cock.

“You really don’t think I’m getting anything out of this?” he groaned into you ear, rocking his length against you both for emphasis and because it felt so fucking good.

“Ah, well ya know,” your voice was so wrecked he was desperate to find out how much it would take for you to lose it entirely. “When you put it like that—mmh—I just feel bad you’re doing all the work. ”

You had this cheeky fucking grin on your face when you rocked forward so back so his cock slipped down to your dripping lips. The heat of your cunt was mesmerizing and it took a fuck ton of self control Jin was unaware he possessed to not ram straight into you right then.

“Yeah cause I’ve wanted to for fucking months goddamn it’s driving me insane.”

“What?”

Now that he’d started, Jin couldn’t find it in himself to stop. His hands dug hard into your hips, rocking so the tip of his dick caught your clit and you shivered below him, hot skin sliding with the motion of your bodies.

“It’s all I think about whenever I see you,” he was shaking when his hand reached down to grip himself, spreading your folds and soaking his length in your slick. “When you come in to work I just fucking lose myself thinking about how bad I want you to be mine, my pretty fucking thing to bring me coffee while I work and let me fuck you in the backroom.”

You whimpered under him, face pressed into the mattress as he draped himself over you, chest to back with his breath ghosting over your ear.

“Literal hours I just sit there at that awful fucking job and I only keep coming cause of you, cause I can watch you sit all cute in your chair and watch the way your cheeks squish up when you put your face in your hands and imagine they’re my hands and I’m about to spit in your fucking mouth so you remember who you belong too.”

“I—” you were nearly choking on the drool that soaked through your sheets as Jin lined himself up with your pretty little hole, pressing just the tip into your heat. “I didn’t think you ever—nggh, shit—noticed much about me.”

The corners of his eyes burned as sweat dripped down his forehead, he had to hold back a sob as he sheathed another inch into those perfect walls.

“Notice you? You’re all I fucking think about,” he pressed his lips softly against your shoulder, hands running from your chest to your sides as you took his cock and every word that slipped from his lips without complaint. “I could take such good care of you. I just fucking know it, just please, let me take care of you?”

“Fuck Jin,” your voice was closer to a sob than anything else but he needs you screaming. “You don’t really have to convince me—”

His patience had run out long ago, not even willing to let you finish before he’d sunk in to the hilt, spearing you on his cock with one final thrust. You ass was flush with his hips and his balls hung heavy and tight against the back of your thighs. The strangled little cry that worked its way out of your throat had gooseflesh erupting across his arms where he held you to him.

Jin couldn’t really be sure—it wasn’t like his brain was all that functional on a day to day basis and it most certainly was not now—but your walls clenching around him and that addictive warm, wet feeling milking his cock was on a whole other level than any fuck he’d ever had before.

There was something about the curve of your back against his chest, and the way you seemed to suck him in, drawing his length back in just seconds after he’d pulled out. Some about the feeling of your chest in his hands, of the sweat on your skin that he licked off in a long strip up your spine. Like you really were made for him. As though all those months spent in dream land, concocting your pretend lives together had spilled over into reality, molding you into the perfect shape to take him deep and hard and cry while you came on his cock just like he knew you were meant to.

“Oh, fuck yeah, gonna make you feel so good, I promise,” he mumbled, forehead pressed to the nape of your neck as his hips drew back and he sunk into you over and over again.

He needed you to moan louder, needed your neighbors on the other side of every wall to hear what he did to you, how he fucked you dumb on his cock and made you drunk with the pleasure of it—slutty and perfect and better than any fantasy he could ever concoct.

The room was filled completely with the wet slap of your bodies—his balls tightening up just at the squelch of you taking him—leaving only enough space for your cries and his grunting, no room left for any bitter doubt to creep in and ruin the sweetness in the air.

He could feel the surge growing in his stomach, the tensing in his thighs as his hips stuttered, but he needed you to cum first. Wanted to tip over the edge to the feeling of you spasming around him, so he let a hand slip from your hip to your folds. Jin only paused for a moment to run a finger around your stretched hole, feeling himself plunging into you, before drifting back up to your swollen clit and working the sensitive bud.

The mattress creaked and rocked along as Jin increased his pace, shifting his hips until his tip knocked against something that had your hands fisting in the sheets and your tongue lolling out in between cries of his name.

You didn’t give him much a warning, not that he minded really. Just a muffled shout with your head smashed into the pillows and the tightening of your walls surrounding him before he felt your whole body wracked with tremors so hard he had to wrap both arms around your middle and hold you while he rammed into you.

Jin wasn’t really keeping track of the filth that was pouring from his lips as he brought himself closer to release. A lot of encouragement, that you were taking him so well, cumming so pretty for him, mixed with a lot of thanks—for letting him have this, have you, for not casting him aside like everyone else always inevitably did.

He did have the clarity to drag one arm up and link your fingers together, pressing hard into the bed while blood pounded in his ears and his hips stuttered in their relentless rhythm. When Jin did finally cum, it was a strangely silent affair, all the words and sound that usually roared inside him dying on his lips as his cock spilled milky release deep inside you and your walls fluttered at the fullness.

And then it was as though every muscle in his body changed physical states.

Boneless, he collapsed onto you with a little huff. You didn’t even complain, just squeezed his hand tighter in yours and hummed at the weight of him.

“Well I think that was a, um,” you panted while he nuzzled his face deeper into your neck, “pretty equivalent exchange yeah?”

“I don’t know,” Jin kissed and nipped at the sweet skin of your shoulder, “I think you might have over paid a bit.”

You laughed, the joyous movement of your chest jostled him from your back and had his soft cock slipping from you in a gush of combined release. “I doubt that very much, I didn’t know I’d be getting to take your fucking load as part of the deal.”

“Shit,” he felt his heart seize in his chest, raising up on his elbows to look down as you turned to him. “I’m sorry, I should have asked.”

Your hand came up to stroke his cheek, clammy but welcome. He sat up enough so you could lay on your back and pull him back down to your chest amidst the sweat and cum slicked sheets.

“Don’t worry about it, I would have asked you to anyway,” you kissed the baby frizz at his hairline and if Jin hadn’t already melted into a puddle, then he certainly was now. “If I’d been able to talk at all.”

“Ha, yeah….”

A short silence descended in your dark bedroom. The noise of cars and the occasional shout filtered in through the window, but there was no other sound than your evening breaths. Jin tried not to ruin the peace while he had it.

It was such a rare commodity.

But he couldn’t say he mourned the quiet when you finally spoke.

“Did you wanna stay the night?” you asked in that soft way he always envisioned you would.

Soft so he’d know it was just a courtesy.

That you didn’t want him to leave.

“Uh, yeah, yes I would,” he stumbled over the words a bit, trying not to sound too eager but wanting you to know he would work a thousands shifts at the reception desk if it meant you held him for just a second longer.

“Good,” you sighed.

He felt you scoot down the bed and flopped onto his back so you could settle your head on his chest and drape an arm across his stomach. After another few minutes he felt you go limp at his side, soft and relaxed as you slipped away into dreams.

But though his muscles ached and his eyes felt heavy, Jin resisted the call to sleep.

He didn’t need to now.

You were here, in the flesh, and he could study you intently while his eyes were open.

No need for his brain to conjure up scattered images of you.

Because he had you now, tucked safely under his arm for him to keep and hold and fuck and love the way he wanted.

So there was no more need for sleep.

And no need for dreams.

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 14

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

“It was so good to see you, Will,” Valerie says in a muffled voice against his chest as he has her wrapped up tightly in a bear hug.

“I know, I’m so glad I ran into you,” Mulder replies, brushing his hands over her back. He pulls away and kisses her softly on the cheek.

“It makes me really happy to see you so happy,” she says with a smile, her long brunette hair lifting softly in the breeze, brown eyes holding affection that can only be held between two people who have the type of bond that can withstand a breakup and then a transition from lovers to friends.

“Likewise,” he says, nodding towards the small swell of her growing belly.

“I’d love to meet your girlfriend someday, if you think she’d be okay with that,” she says, collecting her purse.

“Yes, I’d really like that. I think you two would get along really well, actually,” he says, and she smirks at him.

“You’re not afraid we’ll bond over having to sit through your shitty movie collection?” she teases, and he laughs good-naturedly.

“Hey, Scully likes my shitty movies, that’s why we’re a perfect match,” he retorts.

She squeezes his arm.

“Call me sometime, okay?”

He nods and watches her walk away, feeling like he’s on cloud nine. A great friendship with his ex-girlfriend, a promising new love with the woman of his dreams; he can only imagine what lies in store next. He practically skips on the walk back to his car, wondering if Scully might let him come by tonight, hoping that he won’t have to wait until the weekend to see her again. He decides to call her as soon as he gets home.

The first few times he gets her machine, he assumes she must be at her mother’s. When she still hasn’t answered or called back by 9:00 pm, he’s confused. When he emails her the next morning and still hasn’t gotten a response at 10:00am, he’s officially worried.

Something is wrong.

———

She had eventually turned off the ringer on her phone and put the volume all the way down on her answering machine so she wouldn’t have to hear his increasingly obsessive attempts to get ahold of her, then slept fitfully all night.

She knows that she needs to give him some kind of response or he’ll show up on her doorstep, but she can’t bring herself to face him, even in voice. Every time the image of him with that woman pops back into her head, she feels a lump form in her throat immediately, a sick sadness welling in her belly. She’s pored over every memory in her mind, every interaction they’ve had, searching for signs. Signs that he was seeing someone else, that he wasn’t interested in anything other than getting in her pants, that he was lying to her. Her thorough inventory brings up next to nothing, which almost makes it worse; how adept he must have been at creating a false reality for her to exist in. Perhaps he’s garnered some tips from the sociopaths he studies, or maybe his background in psychology allowed him to manipulate her.

When she arrives at work, she is unsurprised though still dismayed to see an email waiting for her.

From: fmulder@fbi.gov

Sent: May 5, 1997 7:57 am

To: dscully@fbi.gov

Subject: Where are you?

Scully, you’re freaking me out. Are you okay? Please respond.

She deletes it immediately and tries to focus on work. She performs an autopsy and teaches a class, both welcome distractions from her emotional torment. Just before 11:00 am, the phone rings.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy…yep, she’s here, one second.”

Trudy turns and opens her mouth to speak, but sees Dana waving her arms and shaking her head. She makes a confused face and puts the phone back to her ear.

“Oh, actually she just stepped out, sorry. Can I take a message?”

She watches as Trudy scribbles something on a piece of paper.

“Uh huh…yes. Okay, I’ll tell her…you have my word.”

She replaces the phone on the receiver and hands Dana the paper with a sympathetic frown.

“Trouble in paradise?” she asks rhetorically.

Dana looks down and deciphers Trudy’s messy scrawl.

Call Mulder immediately. Send a sign of life.

She crumples it up and tosses it into the trash can.

“You wanna talk about it?” Trudy asks.

“Nope,” Dana replies, turning back to the computer.

From: fmulder@fbi.gov

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:03am

To: dscully@fbi.gov

Subject: PLEASE RESPOND

Scully, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but if you don’t reply to this within an hour I’m driving down there.

Please respond

She feels fresh tears well in her eyes. Why is he trying so hard if he’s seeing someone else anyway? Why is he doing this to her? With a surge of anger, she hits reply.

From: dscully@fbi.gov

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:05am

To: fmulder@fbi.gov

Subject: RE:PLEASE RESPOND

I’m fine, Mulder. Please just give me some space.

With that she closes her email, begs someone to take her second class of the day, and goes home.

———

He feels like he’s stepped into an alternate universe. He’d left her happy and satisfied, and out of nowhere she’s shutting him out. What does she need space for? Space from him? Why? Did he come on too strong and freak her out? He thought they’d moved past that. He picks up the phone again.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy.”

“Trudy, it’s Agent Mulder again. Look, I don’t want to put you in an awkward position, but is Dana there?”

She pauses. “No, she went home for the day. She seemed pretty upset.”

“Do you have any idea why?” he implores.

“No, other than the fact that it seems to be directed at you.”

“Yeah, that much I gathered. Thanks, Trudy, sorry to bother you.”

“No worries, good luck.”

He slams the phone down, grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and leaves.

———

She is half expecting his knock, but it still makes her jump, nearly causing her to spill her wine. She wants to just ignore him until he goes away, but she knows his proclivity towards persistence won’t let him do that. Better to just get it over with, she thinks as she slumps towards the door.

The second she lays eyes on him in his slacks and dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie discarded, she feels her chin pucker and tears threaten her eyes. As angry as she is, she immediately wants to go to him, to curl up within his embrace so he can comfort her. The problem is, what she needs comforting from is him.

“What is going on?” he says with a mix of frustration and fear.

She stands in the open doorway, not making space for him to enter.

“I saw you,” she says, her voice strained with emotion.

“You saw me...what?” he asks, his face a mask of confusion.

She lifts her chin, clenching her jaw and summoning strength.

“I saw you with her. Yesterday, at the Bluebird Cafe. After I had lunch with my family.” her voice holds steady, anger carrying her through.

His face falls and her gut twists. She wishes she didn’t have to watch this.

“THAT is what this is about?” he asks, but there’s no shame or regret in his voice. If anything, he sounds a little mad.

She nods curtly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he spits out, and she recoils a little at his vitriol. “Let me in, Scully. Right now,” he demands, and against her better judgement she moves aside.

He pushes past her into the apartment and she closes the door softly, leaving it unlocked in case either of them decides to make a hasty exit.

“Did you consider,” he begins, his back to her, “maybe, I don’t know, asking me about what you saw?” He turns to face her, one hand on his hip and his face contorted with anger. “Or were you just planning to avoid me until I gave up and went away again?”

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s confused about why he’s yelling at her when he’s the one who did something wrong. She just looks at him, expressionless.

He juts his chin out expectantly, waiting for an answer, but gets none. She averts her eyes.

“Is that all this is worth to you, Scully?” he continues, “you’re ready to throw this away over a simple misunderstanding, without even talking to me?”

She lifts her head and looks at him with a pained expression. “Okay then, talk,” she gets out.

He drops his head in frustration. “The woman you saw me with,” he says flatly, lifting his head to meet her eye, “was my ex-girlfriend, Valerie. I ran into her while I was running errands yesterday, and we had lunch. She has a boyfriend and is three months pregnant. We spent the majority of our meal together talking about you.”

She shakes her head gently, her throat closing as a tear rolls down her cheek. “I saw you kiss her,” she whispers, her jaw quivering.

“You saw me kiss her on the cheek? I also kiss my mother on the cheek, Scully, it’s hardly an intimate gesture.”

She feels a new wave of sickness pass over her, but this time it’s entirely different. This time it’s the sick feeling of realizing that she was very, very, wrong, and that she has, yet again, hurt the man who loves her. She opens her mouth to speak but she can’t find the right words.

He steps forward but doesn’t touch her. When he speaks, his voice is softer, more defeated than anything else.

“I’m sorry that you saw something that upset you. But if you actually thought for a single second that I want to be with anyone but you, you’re fucking insane. I meant what I said the day you left my apartment last year. I felt it then, and I feel it now. I want this to work more than anything, Scully, but for that to be possible you have to trust me. I can’t live with the knowledge that you might just shut me out at a moment’s notice when you get scared.”

She keeps her head down, overwhelmed by a combination of shame, embarrassment, and gratitude that he wouldn’t let her walk away. She does not deserve this man, but she wants to.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, still unable to meet his eye.

“I know you are,” he replies, moving towards the door. “Take the space you need, and let me know when you’re ready to trust me.”

When she hears the click of the door closing behind him, she collapses to the floor, sobbing for so many reasons she couldn’t possibly name them all. When it’s faded to snivels and hiccups, she stands and goes to the hallway, picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Missy,” she chokes out, “Can you come over?”

———

He’s not sure if leaving was the right thing to do. The risk that she might not come back around is one that sends his stomach into knots, but at the same time he finds it hard to accept that she wasn’t even going to give him the opportunity to explain. He’s been actively working to temper expressing his feelings so he doesn’t overwhelm her, but then she gets it in her head that he’s not invested. It feels like he can’t win.

He goes back to work and stops by Kirkbride’s office to apologize for disappearing. Kirkbride just gives him a quizzical look, clearly not having noticed he had left. The rest of the day he buckles down on his caseload, distracting himself from the catastrophic thoughts that dance through his head, and gets more work done than he has in quite a while. When he leaves the office just after 5:00 pm, he feels melancholy and grouchy, and annoyed that he left the ball in her court.

The elevator dings to announce his arrival on the fourth floor and he steps out with a takeout bag in his hand, eyes downcast. Halfway down the hall, he readies his key and looks up, startling when he sees Scully sitting on the floor against his door, knees tucked up against her chest and her forehead resting on her kneecaps. She’s very still, and as he gets closer he realizes that she’s asleep. His heart aches knowing that she’s been waiting that long, that she didn’t want to leave without talking to him.

He crouches down beside her, setting his dinner on the floor, and gently touches her shoulder. She jerks, her head snapping up and her eyes wild for a moment while she tries to orient herself. When she focuses on him, she immediately starts crying, reaching out to wrap her arms around his neck. He’s surprised by her uncharacteristically emotional response, but says nothing and just holds her until his knees start to ache, at which point he sits down on the floor and pulls her into his lap. They stay this way for several minutes, long enough for one of his neighbors to walk by and politely avert their eyes, entering their apartment as though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening in the hallway. When the crying seems to have subsided a bit, he gives her a little squeeze.

“Wanna go inside?” he asks, and she nods against his chest, his shirt damp from her tears.

She stands unsteadily and he follows her, grabbing the takeout bag off the floor. They enter the apartment and Priscilla plods up to them with an excited meow. Scully leans down and picks her up, tucking the cat against her neck as they nuzzle each other. Mulder smiles at them with a bemused expression.

“She was talking to me through the door,” Scully says with a small smile, “she heard me knocking and was meowing from the other side. We had a conversation.”

Affection swells in his chest and he steps forward to kiss her. Her shoulders drop and she lets Priscilla down so she can get closer, threading her arms around his waist and kissing him back in earnest. Desperate, thought I’d lost you again kisses that are as arousing as they are a relief, because he knows that they will be okay.

He pulls back a little and she makes a whimpering sound in protest.

“I’m gonna go change really quick, okay? Then can we talk?” he asks, and she sighs and nods. “You can have half my Chinese,” he adds, and she gives him a tight-lipped smile.

When he sits on the couch beside her five minutes later, she scoots closer so they are pressed against each other, and he gathers that she needs physical closeness right now. He loops an arm around her shoulder and she crawls right back into his lap, curled against him as though trying to fuse her body to his own. Her head tucked beneath his chin, she holds one of his hands in her lap, fingers laced tightly together, and begins to speak.

“After you left, Missy came over and we talked for a long time. I’ve come to realize how much I’m still affected by...what happened last year. I harbor a lot of guilt for being unfaithful to Ethan, and that’s actually largely why I married him even though I knew my heart wasn’t in it.” She pulls in a deep breath, pressing their joined hands tight against her belly, trying to get even closer. “When you and I reconnected, in a way it felt like a chance to validate it. As though things working out with us would mean that what I did wasn’t as bad, because there was something real between us. But at the same time, a big part of me doesn’t believe that I deserve to be happy.” Her voice remains steady, but he feels the wet drop of a tear on the back of his hand.

He tightens his arm around her waist. “I’ve always been a person who values doing the right thing, and integrity was something that was very important to my father. It was his measure of a person’s character, and that’s something he instilled in me as well.” She sits up a bit so she can look at him, and his heart breaks at her red-rimmed eyes, her icy irises so mournful. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Mulder. You haven’t given me any reason not to. It’s just that I don’t feel like I deserve this, especially with you, and I’m waiting for the moment it all comes crashing down. So when I saw you with that woman, it was almost like I’d been waiting for it, expecting it. Getting what I deserved.”

He brings his palms to her cheeks, brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

“Thank you for telling me that,” he says softly. “I wish I could change how you feel, but I know that I can’t. I do know how it feels to spend your life harboring guilt over something you could have done differently, and I can tell you that punishing yourself won’t make it any easier. It makes me really sad that you’ll always regret how we met.”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head gently. When she opens them, her expression is more tender than it is mournful.

“I don’t regret it, Mulder. I do feel guilt, and shame, for not ending it with Ethan so we could have done things the right way, but I could never regret meeting you.”

He pulls her back into an embrace, her arms wrapping around his ribcage, and plants a kiss to the top of her head.

“Are we okay?” he asks softly.

“I hope so,” she says hoarsely.

“Is this a bad time to tell you that Valerie wants to meet you sometime?” he asks, and she laughs.

“I don’t know, did you tell her that I freaked out on you because you had lunch with her?” she replies, and he can already hear her tone shifting back to their typical lighthearted banter.

“No, of course not. That’ll be our little secret. Well, plus Trudy. I think Trudy knows too much honestly.”

She laughs again, and god he could spend the rest of his life trying to make her laugh. In fact, that’s exactly what he hopes to do.

“Speaking of meeting people,” she continues, “Missy mentioned you to my mother yesterday and she wants to meet you.”

A grin stretches across his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything. She pulls back to look at his face, to gauge his reaction, and smiles softly in response.

“You want me to meet your mom?” he asks, the delight on his face carrying over to his voice.

Her mouth screws up shyly. “My little brother will probably be there too, and Missy. Is that too much?”

He shakes his head. “Sounds perfect. But, there are some friends I’d like you to meet too, if we’re meeting people.”

“The Lone Gunmen?” she asks with a skeptical lilt.

“Those are the ones. They’re my only friends, actually. Aside from Val.” Just then, Priscilla hops up onto the couch beside them. “Oh, and you Priscilla, sorry,” he adds.

Scully smiles at the cat, and then at him. “Can I bring Missy as a human buffer?” she asks hopefully.

“Of course. You may set a record for the highest number of female visitors to their lair in a day.”

“Lair?” she asks with wide eyes.

He chuckles. “They’ll grow on you, I promise.”

[latteunwoo]

first love || l.mh

↪  in life, many have experienced what it’s like to have a first love. this is how lee minho became your first love. 

pairing: high school student!lee know x reader (feat. stray kids)

genre: fluff; humor; angst (??????? not too much, just the ending </3)

word count: 3.2k 

A/N: This is the first part of my Lee Know series. I’m still a bit rusty since it’s been a while since I’ve gotten the motivation to write again but I hope you guys still like it and can bear with me. In this series, Lee Know, the reader, and the other members of Stray Kids are not idols. Do note that most of the content are not real/accurate because this is an AU (Alternate Universe).

stray kids m.list || main m.list 

Everyone has had their first love; that special someone that makes us experience love in an intense and special way for the very first time. For you, that was Lee Minho. 

In fact, you were both each other’s first loves. The two of you had grown up together as you two just so happened to attend the same schools and as cliché as it sounds, one of you would’ve ended up developing feelings for the other one.

Funny enough, Minho was the one who started crushing on you first. He realized it in second grade that you were the girl of his dreams. Though at that age he didn’t realize it was love, he still was smart enough to know that he wanted to do everything in his power to impress you however he can. 

It wasn’t his intention to make it look like he was purposefully doing better than you to mock you or anything though that’s how some of your classmates had falsely assumed it was. He just genuinely wanted to do good so he could impress you, though you hardly ever noticed any of his signals; or at least you made it look that way as you didn’t want to assume anything.

Unlike Minho, you were pretty good at hiding your feelings. As you two started to go through puberty and Minho had started to look more different, you started noticing him more; especially when he started getting into dance. 

Other than all the things Minho was good at, dancing was his top expertise and something you could tell he was really passionate about. This was also something that made him more popular amongst the other girls.

You realized it in middle school that you may have a crush on him as your heart started racing even faster whenever he would call your name out loud when he saw you every morning and insisted that you two walk to class together and you couldn’t help but feel jealous whenever some of the other girls in your class would crowd around him after his dance performances. Though you managed to not make your feelings for him noticeable; at least for a while.

"Are the results out yet?” Your friend Mina asked as the whole classroom was currently filled with a lot of chatter during the first break because today was the day the results of each grade’s class presidents and vice presidents were going to be released.

“They’ll be out during lunch time,” you said as you pulled out your books for the next class.

“We all know who the president is gonna be,” Your other friend Soojin scoffed as you all looked over to where Minho was entertaining some of the girls in your grade in the hallway.

“Hey! Don’t say that, maybe this year it’ll be Y/N,” Mina said as she hit Soojin’s arm.

“What? It’s true. He always wins.”

“Well, you don’t know! Y/N has gotten really popular too.”

As the two of them started bickering with each other you softly laughed before going back to prepping for the next class. 

It was true. Minho always won because all the girls and a majority of the guys in your grade would vote for him. Not only was he the school’s ‘visual’ but he was extremely talented and smart which made his overall appearance even better in their eyes. 

You don’t despise him or anything for always being first and leaving you with second place however. You did have to admit that he wasn’t so bad and it wasn’t like he ever rubbed it directly in your face or said anything mean to you about it, so you didn’t really have a proper reason to hate him.

It wasn’t like everyone hated you either. Amongst the girls in your grade, you were first at least. You were really smart and humble; and you were Minho’s friend which gave you an advantage in everyone else’s eyes despite you not really showing your friendship with him off. 

Once lunchtime came around, everyone scurried out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang and ran to the first floor of the building to see the results. 

“Are you not coming?” Soojin asked as you shook your head and gave her the excuse that you were just going to stay in the classroom to study, “Suit yourself then. We’ll bring you some food when we come back!”

Not even ten minutes later, the two of them came rushing back into the room. They both started saying things at the same time it was hard to understand what they were trying to tell you at first since their voices overlapped with each other. 

“Calm down. What happened?” You asked as you tried to calm the two down a bit and have them speak one at a time. 

“You... You won for... for class president,” Mina said as she was still trying to catch her breath from running all the way up here from the first floor.

“What?” You asked as you grabbed each of them and looked at them directly in the eyes and searched for any sign that they were possibly joking but they looked genuinely as surprised as you were.

“Yeah, we overheard some of the students talking and apparently Minho had told Mr. Kim to give the spot to you instead.”

“Why would he do that? Is he trying to mock you or something?” Soojin asked as the two of them started talking about what could cause Minho to willingly give his spot as class president to you. 

You couldn’t really focus on what they were saying or even at all for that fact though as you were trying to figure out if Minho was doing this to help you or insult you. 

“Congrats Y/N,” your teacher as your classmates cheered you on and although you just smiled at them you couldn’t help but feel uneasy about the situation.

It was weird. Minho had given the class president spot to you but why was he suddenly acting so cold around you? Ever since the results got out, he’d only give you short responses and never really gave you any time outside of the time you spent together doing your class president and vice president tasks to talk.

“Minho,” you softly spoke as the two of you were currently working on a setting up your class’s booth for the school festival, “c-can we talk later?”

“We have to work the booth,” he simply replied as he moved past you to work on putting up the sign on your booth.

“Pft, whatever,” you snickered as you glared at his back before going back into the classroom to get the rest of the decorations. 

“You don’t think...” Mina wondered as she looked at Soojin to see if she had the same idea.

“No way,” they both gasped as they now looked at you who wasn’t really paying attention at first because you were busy making more paper flowers for the booth.

“What?” You asked, looking up at them after feeling their gazes burning into your skin.

“He likes you.”

“Huh?”

“Lee Minho likes you,” they both said as they started teasing you about the possibility of Minho acting this way because he likes you; though you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks burning at the thought of it.

“You’re both crazy,” you said as you threw one of the paper flowers at them before grabbing the box of them you had made back to the booth to start hanging them onto the booth, “They’re crazy. They don’t know what they’re talking about. I don’t even-”

Before you could even finished your question, you felt one of the legs on the chair you were standing on snapped. You had expected to land straight onto the concrete, however you were surprised when you opened your eyes to see Minho looking down at you as he had caught you before you landed straight on the ground, “Are you okay?” 

“H-huh?” you stuttered as you felt very flustered at how close the two of you were.

“Are you okay?” He asked again as you quickly snapped out of your thoughts.

“Oh. Y-yeah. I’m fine,” you said softly as you attempted to stand up on your own only to fall back down on the ground as you felt a shot of pain in your right ankle.

“Y/N!” Minho exclaimed as he crouched down to your level and pressed his hand gently on your swollen ankle, “You’re not okay. Here, hold onto my shoulder, I’ll take you to the nurse.”

Before you could even protest, he had swung your arm over his shoulder and carried you bridal style to the nurse’s office while you heard multiple ‘Oooohhhhh’s and whistling from the students who had witnessed the scene. 

As the nurse wrapped a bandage over your swollen ankle, you and Minho looked everywhere but each other. It’d be a lie if either of you said the situation didn’t feel awkward since you two weren’t really on talking terms; thanks to him of course.

“There,” the nurse grinned as she started cleaning up the wrappers from the bandages, “it’s not broken, but it has been sprained so it will take a few days to heal. For now you can ask your boyfriend to-”

Before she could even finish, you had instantly sat up from your spot and Minho had stood up from the chair he was sitting in and you two both started protesting that he wasn’t your boyfriend. The nurse simply just smirked at the two of you before leaving you to go take care of another student on the other side of the curtain.

“Here. Let me help you.” Minho said as he quickly went over to help you off the bed, not really knowing where to put his hands though somehow one of his arms ended up on your waist as you had supported yourself on him by wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“Thank you,” you said as you reached for the crutch the nurse had given you and placed it under your right arm before releasing your arm off of his shoulder.

“Oh,” he said as he was still staring at you, his arm still around your waist, “No problem.”

“You can let go of me now, I got it,” you smiled at him as he instantly snapped out of it and let go of his grip around your waist.

“Sorry,” he muttered as you started walking back to the booth while he followed shortly after.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with you sitting on a chair at the booth finishing up the decorations there while Minho put them up for you. There was a silence between the two of you as you two worked, however this silence wasn’t awkward anymore. 

“Ah, what time is it now? I still need to change out of my uniform,” you said to yourself as you reached for your phone to check the time. 

“It’s almost five. Do you need help?” Minho asked as his eyes widened when he realized that what he had said might have been taken the wrong way, “I-I didn’t mean like- I just- I meant-”

You just laughed at his stuttering and stood up from the chair to head over to the locker rooms where you had told Mina to meet you at, “It’s fine. I know what you meant but I already told Mina to come help me. You can just take a break. I’ll be back!”

“Woah, Y/N is that you?” Chan teased as the other boys had turned their attention to you.

“Do I look that bad?” You asked as you fixed your skirt and pushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“Badass, for sure yeah,” Jisung exclaimed and you just let out a small laugh at the younger boy as he continued, “But really, you look really nice, Y/N!”

“Thank you, Han,” you smiled as the other boys had joined in on complimenting you while Minho felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

You were really pretty to begin with, Minho admitted that, however right now you just had a different glow radiating off of you and he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. You had noticed him staring and even looked over to try to catch him in the act, but before you could even say anything he either looked away or made himself busy by helping any of the other students who had come over to your booth.

Business at the booth started to slow down as most of the students were on the soccer field watching the performances. This gave you the perfect opportunity to count how much money you guys had made. Though you couldn’t really concentrate as you felt someone staring at you. 

You quickly turned your head toward the boy sitting next to you, surprised at how close you two actually were from each other, “D-do I have something on my face?” 

Minho didn’t even answer you, his eyes moved from your eyes to your lips as he leaned in closer before connecting your lips. Your eyes widened at the action. You could feel your heart racing out of your chest; which is something that has been happening a lot lately whenever you were around him.

As you were about to kiss him back, the boy quickly had snapped out of his trance and instantly pulled away to your dismay. It’d be an understatement if you said that you didn’t feel your heart fall to the floor when he pulled away from you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he moved back in his seat and looked away from you, his cheeks and ears burning red. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. I must be insane, he thought to himself as his heart started racing once again as he thought about what he had just done. 

It was your turn to stare now. You looked at the boy as what the girls had said earlier started playing in your mind and you started wondering about what he could be feeling. Could he actually have feelings for you or?

He felt movement next to him and turned his head to see what you were doing only for you to catch him by surprise as you grabbed the collar of his shirt to pull him closer to you and press your lips on his this time. When you pulled away, you looked at the boy in front of you who was still currently in a state of shock.

“Do you like me?” You asked as his eyes widened even more.

“I-I can’t breathe,” he stuttered still trying to catch his breath as you raised an eyebrow at him, “I mean, yeah. I like you. So much that I can’t breathe.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he confessed, “That’s why I told Mr. Kim to make you class president instead because I knew how much you wanted to be class president and I had thought that if I did that you’d like me more but I overheard you talking with the girls about how you didn’t feel comfortable that I did that so that’s why I distanced myself because I didn’t want you to be more upset with me, but Y/N I really do like you. I’m really sorry and I understand if you don’t-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted, “but you could’ve just told me in the first place that you liked me.”

“I know. I’m sorry-”

“Also, I like you too,” you said as Minho felt his cheeks and ears burning even more. 

“You do?” He asked and you nodded. “Will you be my girlfriend then?”

Though part of you had expected the situation to turn this way, the way the word ‘girlfriend’ sounded coming from him caught you off guard.

“S-sure,” you stuttered as his smile grew wider and he engulfed you into a tight hug, “Now I can’t breathe.” 

He quickly loosened his grip on you before bowing his head down, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assured as you gave him a reassuring smile.

You’d be lying if you said the first few days, maybe even weeks, of your relationship wasn’t a bit awkward. Since it was both of your first times being in a relationship, neither of you knew what exactly to do or at least was appropriate enough to do.

“Can I hold your hand?” Minho had asked nervously the next school day after the festival with one hand hovering hesitantly next to yours while the other was behind his neck.

“Yeah,” you said trying not to seem too forward as you closed the distance between both of your hands and intertwined your fingers while you lead him the rest of the way to school.

As you two got closer to campus and you started seeing more of your classmates, you became more nervous about whether you should just let go of his hand or not. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed about being in a relationship with him but you were just worried about your classmates having negative thoughts about the relationship and you didn’t want him to get hate about it or anything. 

“If you feel uncomfortable about being public with our relationship, it’s fine they don’t have to know,” Minho assured you as if he had read your mind. 

“I just don’t want anyone to think I’m just using you or anything.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine if you want to keep it lowkey for now.” He gave you a reassuring smile as he slowly let go of your hand before the two of you started walking the rest of the way together. 

This became a daily routine for a few weeks. The two of you would walk to and from school together though you would stop holding hands when you were within view of your other classmates. And you would only have small dates at either of your houses. Minho didn’t mind though because he himself was also very worried that if you two showed off your relationship a bit more that the girls who were always fangirling over him at school would hurt you and though he knew he could protect you from them he still didn’t want you to end up feeling uncomfortable about the thought of them hating you for it.

Obviously with both of your friends being very nosy, it wasn’t too long until they started to find out that the two of you were actually in a relationship already. They knew you both had feelings for each other, though they didn’t know you two had already confessed at the school festival.

Seeing your friends being supportive about the relationship boosted your confidence about being public with your relationship with Minho. You two started holding hands all the way to class and sometimes even during school when you had breaks; him sometimes stealing a quick kiss too and earning cheers from your classmates.

Eventually the two of you became more comfortable with each other and practically became inseparable. As you two were each other’s first loves, your entire relationship was spent not only learning more about each other but also what it means to truly love someone. You two were so much in love with each other that you had thought it would last forever. However of course, the reality of it was that sometimes your first love wasn’t meant to be your last.

-

part two || skz m.list

[woman-loving]

The Emergence of a Lesbian Bar Scene in 1960s Sydney

Selection from Unnamed Desires: A Sydney Lesbian History, Rebecca Jennings, 2015.

In addition to these social groups, lesbians were also beginning to join a much longer-standing gay male bar culture in significant numbers, reflecting a broader social acceptance of women and public drinking in the wake of reforms to the licensing laws in the late 1950s. Male narrators recall seeing lesbians on the commercial scene for the first time in the early 1960s, and lesbian narrators begin to discuss their participation in the bar scene from the 1960s onwards.[28] Lesbians socialised alongside homosexual men and drag queens in venues such as Chez Ivy wine bar in Bondi Junction and the Purple Onion coffee shop on Anzac Parade. Virginia, who first visited Chez Ivy and the Purple Onion in the early 1960s, went out on the scene in a group of male and female camp friends and remembers that: ‘It was very mixed. I hardly went anywhere where it was just for women. I think the women’s thing came later, yeah, the segregation side of it.’ She spent these nights out drinking gin and tonic, talking to her friends and dancing the twist, as well as enjoying the drag shows that were put on at the Purple Onion and Les Girls.[29] When Carolyn began to frequent Chez Ivy in the late 1960s she also remembered the clientele as very diverse:

“Chez Ivy’s was home to guys, girls, drag, bi, crossdressers and straights--I felt comfortable in this group and I would look forward to hitting ‘the Club’ each night and weekend ... The cat fights and tantrums were ongoing--this added to the fun of the night and drama. We had parents looking for sons and daughters, bomb threats, vice squad raids, scuffles with ex-lovers--but it was fun!"[30]

Chez Ivy closed at 10pm, but many revellers continue their night out at coffee shops such as Doddy’s on Darlinghurst Road and the Coffee Pot in Kings Cross, or at cabaret clubs such as Les Girls or the Purple Onion.

This picture of the 1960s as a period of transition from a predominantly male to a mixed camp scene is supported by accounts which suggest that lesbians, as newcomers, were not always entirely welcome at Sydney’s camp venues in this period. One reason for this attitude may have been the behaviour and image projected by some bar lesbians: a number of interviewees recall Sydney’s bar lesbians as being quite ‘tough’ or ‘rough’ in this period, in contrast to the more flamboyant drag culture cultivated by camp men. Lesbians were widely regarded as being prone to fighting and causing difficulty in bars with their behaviour. [...]

Although the majority of venues were mixed in the 1960s, lesbians increasingly made up most of the clientele at a few bars: the Trolley Car near Sydney University, the Sussex Hotel on Sussex Street in the City and the Park Inn opposite Centennial Park. Dennis worked at the Trolley Car, owned by Dawn O’Donnell, when it opened in 1966 and recalled the venue as a ‘long, old terraced house’ with a licensed bar downstairs until 10pm and an upstairs room which continued to operate illicitly after official closing time. The venue was popular with lesbians[...]. A significant lesbian clientele also mixed with drag queens at the Park Inn in this period. Karen went to the Park Inn in the late 1960s and recalled that ‘The majority that went there were women.’[35] Laurie, who had gone there for the first time in the 1960s with her girlfriend Helena and two new friends, also remembered:

“I walked in there and it was like seventh heaven. It was full of lesbians from wall to carpet to wall you know? And drag queens. I saw my first drag show there and that was it for me ... We went there every Friday night to Saturday night for the next ten, fifteen years I think?’”[36]

A number of the women who socialised in these venues adopted masculine dress codes and identities. Laurie recalled that all the lesbians at the Park Inn were ‘butch and femme. Three piece suits, cufflinks, ties, the whole bit.’ Laurie herself was introduced to this butch/femme scene by some lesbian friends, who took her clothes shopping in the men’s department of Grace Bros and then to get her hair cut into a ‘short back and sides’ before escorting her to the bar. Her girlfriend, Helene, retained her feminine dress and appearance, as she was adopting a femme identity. Margaret also described the masculine appearance of the other women clientele when she first discovered a camp venue in the 1960s. [...]

For some women, adopting a butch appearance meant potentially passing as a man. Colette recalled experiencing some confusion on her first encounter with a butch lesbian in the early 1960s:

“In 1964/65 I said to my sister, ‘We have to find some lesbians’ ... the only gay place at that time was a place called the ‘Hole in the Wall’, literally a brick circle had been made in the wall ... it was dark inside. It was in Kings Cross in the vicinity of St Vincent’s hospital. It was fully of very interesting people and after about an hour I noticed this very attractive blond boy, there was just something about him, and he obviously noticed me because he came over and spoke and her turned out to be a woman in fully drag so this was terribly exciting for me ... she looked like a  boy but she was a girl, this was exactly what I was looking for. So we went home together and it was off with the frock for me and she unstrapped and stripped down to a t-shirt.”[38]

Colette’s reference to the girl unstrapping suggests that some butch lesbians in this period were binding their breasts in order to adopt a more masculine physique, in addition to wearing male clothes.[39] Some of the lesbians who frequented Ivy Richter’s venues in the 1960s were similarly capable of passing as young men. Ivy recalled one occasion on which gender ambiguity led to an altercation between one of her lesbian clients and a member of the licensing police. [...]

The extent to which femme women were a part of the Sydney scene in this period is more difficult to determine. While a small number of accounts refer to butch/femme partnerships and communities, many focus primarily on butch lesbians, suggesting that butch identities predominated. It is also possible that many femme partners of butch lesbians occupied a more transient position in the lesbian social circles of this period and were therefore less visible. Davis and Kennedy noted that, in the butch/femme community they documents in 1940s and 1950s Buffalo, ‘many fems ... became butch, others went straight, and others claimed to be too shy to be interviewed.’[41] A similar picture emerges in Sydney. In her account of a casual encounter with a butch lesbian at the Hole in the Wall in Kings Cross in the 1960s, Colette describes herself as removing her ‘frock’, suggesting that her own appearance was more feminine than that of her butch partner. Colette herself was a newcomer to the bar on this occasion and implied that she was not part of any coherent lesbian community at the time. Accounts of the Park Inn hotel in this period also suggest that the predominantly butch lesbian clientele mixed with other women as well as drag queens. Laurie, who had gone there for the first time in the 1960s, recalled that women of all classes mixed there and ‘there was one table that was reserved permanently for when the prostitutes came in, from Kings Cross, and they were all gay.’[42] The hotel owner, Ken (Kandy) Johnson, claimed that nurses made up a significant group amongst the more butch regulars and remembered one occasion on which he had received a call from the local hospital, attempting to locate one of their nurses, who was needed to assist on an operation. [...] Kandy’s account of this exchange suggests that camp women who identified as butch--wearing men’s suits and short hair--may have interacted with more feminine prostitutes in his bar. Whether or not some of the prostitutes had sexual relationships with women, Kandy’s account suggests that others may not have immediately identified them as camp, defining them instead primarily as ‘prostitutes’. How the women themselves defined their sexual identity, if at all, is even more elusive, in the absence of accounts by femme participants in this scene.

The possibility that femme identities may not have been clearly identified as lesbian identity model is also suggested by Elizabeth’s account of roles in her suburban social circle. Unlike the majority of women socialising in private friendship networks in the mid-century, who describe their roles and appearance as conforming to mainstream ideals of respectable femininity, Elizabeth recalled her private house party scene in the late 1960s as organised around a restrictive form of gender role-playing. [...] Despite her partner’s expectation that she adopt a feminine appearance, however, Elizabeth does not appear to have developed a clearly defined femme identity. Explaining the relationship between their respective roles, Elizabeth was unsure of the term for a feminine partner, commenting:

“You were a butch lesbian or you were a, whatever, I don’t know what you call it, but anyway, you were one or the other and that’s how it worked and I thought that makes sense.”[45]

Elizabeth’s ambivalence toward her femme identity was also apparently reflected by those around her, as she recalled attracting criticism of her appearance from a woman at a party. The woman commented that Elizabeth shouldn’t ‘think you can fool us wearing that dress’, suggesting that she regarded the adoption of a feminine appearance as an attempt to hide a lesbian identity. This account suggests that feminine lesbians may have been viewed with distrust in some Sydney lesbian circles, and perhaps not regarded as having an important or valued role in that community.

Other accounts, however, suggest that both butch and femme identities were consciously adopted by some women as an indication of membership in a lesbian community. Laurie had been introduced to the butch/femme scene when she moved from Perth to Sydney in the 1960s and she she and her girlfriend Helene adopted butch and femme identities respectively. [...] After introducing them to butch/femme fashion, June and her girlfriend Karen took Laurie and Helen to their local bar and the new arrivals soon became regulars. Descriptions such as Laurie’s are reminiscent of postwar butch/femme lesbians in the US and UK, where the commercial bar scene fostered a highly nuanced subculture based around butch/femme role-playing, and new entrants to the community were expected to adopt either a butch or femme style and behaviour. This was often a highly conscious process in which new members chose an identity and experienced a rite of passage in which they adapted their image to fit the new identity. For Laurie, the decision to become a butch was taken by her new butch friend, June, on the basis that Laurie was a better pool player than Helene. [...]

Personal narrative such as Laurie’s suggest that, while a number of lesbian identity models in the 1960s were characterised by an emphasis on secrecy and discretion, others, such as butch/femme, were highly visible and confrontational. Butch/femme lesbians, like Laurie and Helen, forged their identities in social spaces which they shared with prostitutes, gay men and drag queens and as a result they understood their lesbianism within a broad, cross-gendered community of sexual minorities. Similarly, the shared nature of the camp social scene in the 1960s, meant that many more discreet lesbians in this period also defined their identity alongside gay men, in terms of a shared attempt to evade detection by mainstream society.

However, despite the presence of consciously butch women on the commercial lesbian scene in the 1960s, butch/femme did not represent a pervasive subculture in the Sydney camp bar scene in the manner described by historians of US lesbian subcultures. Oral history accounts suggest instead that butch lesbians coexisted with women of more conventional appearance, often sharing the same social spaces. This reflects the situation in Melbourne in the same period, where Lucy Chesser has found that:

“while there were sizeable lesbian social groups which organised around role playing in Melbourne in this period alternative models of lesbian relationship were often avialable to women from working class backgrounds ... In addition, butch/femme role playing appears to have deceased in importance as the 1960s progressed.”[48]

In Sydney, other lesbians who socialised both within and outside of the bar scene in the 1960s do not recall the early scene as a butch/femme culture and did not themselves adopt either a butch or femme identity. Virginia did not recall a butch/femme scene at Chez Ivy and the Purple Onion in the early 1960s, although she conceded that ‘some of them probably were pretty butch’, while Carolyn described Chez Ivy’s lesbian clientele as a relatively diverse culture group.[49] The fluidity of lesbian dress and identity on the commercial camp scene in Sydney in the 1960s reflects the predominance of small, private networks in the preceding decades and indicates the absence of a long-standing and developed subculture in the bars of this period.

Moreover, the ways in which women made use of the new pubic spaces becoming available to them continued to be shaped by private networks and patterns of socialising. Both the bar scene and the camp social groups in the 1960s were relatively secretive and enclosed, making it difficult for outsiders or the authorities to identify them. In the absence of any homosexual press, bars and clubs did not advertise and only a few individuals were lucky enough to stumble across them by accident. The mainstream press could occasionally give a hint but most women were introduced to the camp scene by friends from elsewhere.[50] Virginia first visited camp bars with friends from a North Shore ballroom dancing club she belonged to, and Karen began socialising with lesbians she met at a hockey club in the late 1960s. Carolyn and her girlfriend were first introduced to Chez Ivy by a lesbian couple they met by chance on holiday in the Central Coast.[51] The enclosed nature of the scene in this period also lent a secretive atmosphere to socialising, which some women remembered as exciting. [...] Lucy Chesser argues that the sense of belonging to a secretive lesbian subculture in this period played an important role in affirming women’s lesbian identities and giving women a sense of pride in escaping detection.[53]

Friendship circles continued to be important, not only introducing women to venues, but in the ways in which individual lesbians made use of the spaces available to them. Unlike the pattern of socialising in London’s lesbian venues in the 1960s, where each bar or club possessed it own community of regular clientele with specific behavioural codes and identities, venues seem to have played a less important role in shaping identity on the Sydney scene. Women moved more freely from one venue to another, but as groups rather than individuals. [...] In this sense, the commercial camp scene which emerged for lesbians in the 1960s reflected earlier patterns of socialising in the city. Women continued to structure their social networks around small, private circles of friends and simply extended the location of their social activities as new spaces became available to them. Sydney’s lesbian socialising in the 1960s was defined by one’s circle of friends, rather than a regular haunt, and as a result women moved easily between the social spaces available to them.

[slutforagoodsmut]

We All Get Nightmares

(Lars x OC)

The waves crashed along the sand, the moonlight glittered  across the sea. For once in a long time, there was silence, There was peace. No gem saving, no gem destroying. It was a quiet, normal night; and for once in a long time, Primrose went to bed without a sore body or broken bone. Curled up in the bed layed the precious girl, her dark locks of springs for hair bunched up in a ponytail, and the one streak of light pink laying lightly against her face. Her soft warm touch, her skin glowing in the moonlight that beamed through her window. Her pencil striaght physique now starting to blossom from child to young  woman, her hips starting to curve out and chest starting to broaden. And on her back, in between her shoulder blades, sat a rose quarts gem that reflected off of any twinkling light, which she kept hidden beneath her hair. Primrose Universe was indeed a beauty, just like her mother was. 

There she layed all snuggled up in her plush bed on the other side of the room, a small smile graced upon her lips as she clung to the teddy bear her father gave her all those years ago. She just looked like some ordinary 14 year old girl, a girl who wanted to go far in life, go beyond the limits as any teenager would. The Primrose everyone knows, the girl everyone cherishes, was much more than a silly little teenager. She was a gaurdian, a powerful protector of the gems; keeping the bad out. The twin sister of a powerful boy and the daughter of a gem herself.

But aside all that schmazzy jazzy stuff, Prim was just your avgerage teenager. A girl who listened to her father's old music and laughed at the silly faces he made. A girl who enjoyed her friend's company and eating doughnuts. Someone who loved adventure and would sometimes get in a lil trouble along with her brother. An open minded person who accepted anyone as a friend. That is who Primrose was. 

It wasn't far into the night when Prim's phone began to buzz on her nightstand. Prim, being the light sleeper she was, woke immediately, her eyes being blinded by the light the phone gave off. She groaned. "Who's calling in the middle of the night?" She fumbled for the phone and pressed the 'accept call' button, holding it lazily to her ear. "Yo," she said.

"Prim, are you awake?" A certain Lars Barriga voice came through the phone. Prim rolled her eyes and sank her head back into her pillow. 

"Oh yeah sure, totally awake, like i always am..." she peered over at her clock, "...at 2:30 in the morning," she said sarcastically. 

"I know it's late but I just couldn't sleep! Maybe you could come over for a bit?" Lars asked, his voiced getting a bit high. "Ya'know, help me fall asleep?"

"You've gotta be kidding me Lars," she sighed, her hand sliding down her face. "Dude, you're like almost 17 years old, can't you tuck yourself in? I mean, haven't you tried calling Sadie?" Prim yawned out as she spoke, covering her mouth.  

"Yes I could tuck myself in, thank you very much!" Lars hissed. "I just...I had a bad dream and now I can't sleep," he mumbled into the phone. "P-Please?"

Primrose looked back at the clock, then sat up and looked at Steven, who was sleeping soundlessly all the way on the other side of the loft. It'd be easy getting passed her brother, but what about the gems? Nothing could get passed them, and I mean nothing. She put a hand on her head and sighed again. "Fine, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"thanks Prim, you're the best!" Lars said into the phone. 

"I know I am," she grunted as she sat up, stretching her legs and arms. "Oh and Lars?"

"Yes?" 

"You owe me." Was the last thing she said to him before ending the call. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. 'I swear to god if this is a joke...' Prim yawned again as she put her hair up in a messy bun, not bothering to do anything with it at the moment. She didn't bother changing either, and not that it was a big deal anways. Prim was wearing a pair of shorts and tank top, all she needed to do was throw on a bra and head out. Prim walked passed her brother and got her flip flops on, kissing him on the cheek before climbing down the loft. 'Was it cold out?' she wondered, before grabbing a sweatshirt just in case. Now here was the difficut part; getting passed Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. Pearl was a nutjob when it came to safety, and on the other hand Amethyst could care less, so she would be easy to get by. But then there was Garnet. Garnet was a tricky one, and probably the sneakiest and wisest off them all. 

"Alright one step at a time..." Prim whispered as she tip toed silently across the floor boards. Amethyst was snoring on the couch and Pearl was curled up in a ball, but where was Garnet? They should have been in the temple, so this was going to be a little harder than usual. Prim looked around. Uh oh, this wasn't good. Garnet must be in the temple, right? No harm at all! She lightly stepped around carefully, making sure not to step on a squeaky floorboard by mistake. 'Just an hour!' Thought Prim 'and I'll be back before sun rise!' 

It took a few minutes but Primrose managed to slip out of the house quickly and quietly. "Phew, that was close," Prim  said feeling a bit exhausted.

"What was close?" A voice asked.

She gasped, holding her breath as she clasped a hand over her mouth tightly. "Oh Bejeebus!" Prim slowly turned around to see the giant gem standing over her with her arms crossed, no emotions expressed over her face. It wasn't that she was terrified of Garnet...well....maybe just a tad, it was the fact that Garnet was always right, and to see Garnet dissaprove her actions was one of Prim's biggest fears. 

"Where must you be so late at night?" Garnet asked. 

"W-Well, I--uh, ya see, something--um c-came up! Yeah that's right, something came up and...." Prim faltered, looking down. Garnet raised a brow behind her glasses, putting a hand on Prim's shoulder. She looked up at the gem and sighed, rubbing the side of her arm. "Lars called me..."

"Lars?" 

"Oh! I meant Big Donut Boy!" Prim corrected herself. 

"And what does "Big Donut Boy" want with you at this hour of the night?"

"Its sort of embarrassing but...he had a nightmare. And he called me cuz he couldn't go back to sleep." 

"A nightmare, huh?" Garnet repeated, putting her hands on her hips. "Well, if you must. This does sound important."

"Yeah I know Garnet I shouldn't leave without--wait what?" Prim stopped herself with wide eyes, looking up at Garnet like an idiot. "Really?"

"Yes, you may go, but don't tell Pearl."

Prim blinked, raising a brow. "Are you an imposter Garnet? Shouldn't you be giving me words of wisdom or something and telling me not to go?"

Garnet cracked a small smile and ruffled Prim's bed head. "Geez Prim, you make it sound like I'm another Pearl." Prom laughed at that. "But yes, I trust you. Just be back before Pearl notices."

"You got it Garnet!" They young girl whispered and gave the gem a quick hug before running down the steps. 

*10 minutes Later*

The temple was only a few blocks away from Waterman St., so a walk to Lars's house was a piece of cake for Prim. Her sweatshirt was tied around her neck to keep her shoulders warm and hands tucked in her pockets with her phone. Like she expected, it was a little chilly, but nothing Prim couldn't manage. Matter a fact she loved the chilly weather, and sadly it was something Beach City hardly ever got. 

In the distance Prim could see Lars sitting on the steps of his porch, resting his head on his lap. 'Oh man, maybe this really is serious,' she thought as she got closer. He looked miserable, but what was different? He always looked miserable, especially around Prim and Steven. Yes Prim knew Steven could be a bit annoying, but so was she at times! They both had many flaws and messed up--a lot--but hey that's what twins did together! It was both of them or none at all! 

"Hey," Prim said, stopping in front of the Barriga Residence.

Lars looked up and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like he hadn't slept for days! To be honest he looked like a crack head in Prim's opinion... 'No, he would never!' An image of Lars doing crack came to mind. Prim shuddered in fear. 'He may act like Mr.Badass all the time, but he wouldn't dare to do such a thing!' 

"Oh, Prim! You're here!" Lars exclaimed a little groggily, as if he were just dozing off. He wore a black Under Armour tank and a pair of grey shorts, her hair a bit of a mess btw.

"Well no shit Sherlock, of course I'm here." 

"How did you get out of that wacko of a house and passed that nut job of a family?" He questioned. 'Such a bitch...' Prim thought as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Watch it chicken legs, I still don't have a problem breaking your arm."

Lars backed off. "Alright alright."

"Well it was fairly easy to get passed my nut job of a family, besides, Garnet is covering for me."

He nodded and patted the spot next to him, indicating for Primrose to sit. Prim gladly took the seat and looked off into the distance, sitting in an awkward silence. 

"Rough night?" she asked. 

"Uh yeah, rough night," he said, sighing wand rubbing the back of his head. "It hasn't been good the past couple of weeks, I haven't gotten a single drop of good sleep."

"Have you gone to the doctors?"

"Phssht, the Doctors?" Lars scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Doctors are for wimps, big baby, wusses, shall I go on?"

"And the Doctors are for people who are in need of major help, for those who need a diagnosis, and for recovery," Prim corrected him, eyeing Lars up. 

"Oh whatever," he groaned, putting his head in his hand. "My parents said that I should go to the Doctors but...I don't know I feel little weird about it." 

"Yeah I get," Prim started, "the doctors could be a scary place, no lie, but the only thing they want to do is help you."

Lars sighed, looking down sadly. "Yeah..." 

Prim put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, why don't we go in? Sort of chilly out here don't you think?"

Lars looked at her with depressing eyes and nodded, getting up from his seat and Prim followed him in quietly. "My parents are away on a trip, won't be back till like sometime next week." 

"That's pretty cool, gonna throw a few parties?" She elbowed his side and wiggled her brows. Lars shrugged and gave a very small smile. 

"I suppose a party or two wouldn't be so bad," Lars thought aloud, flicking the lights on in the kitchen. There on the island sat a plate of doughnuts, soaking in all the glory. Prim licked her lips and her eyes lit up. Lars plopped down on a chair and the younger of the two sat across from him. "Want one?" Lars asked, taking a pink icing topped doughnut. 

"Do I ever!" Exclaimed Prim, taking the one with white icing and rainobow sprinkles. She could never turn down the most delicious thing in the entire world. Well, right behind cookie cat. "Oh man these are bomb!"

"Big Donut never fails to impress," muffled Lars while eating his doughnut. After a few more bites of their delicious treats, Prim cleared her throat to speak.

"So how about we talk about the nightmare, hmm?" 

"Oh, u-um, now that I think about it, I don't really think it's worth mentioning anymore." Lars rubbed his arm uncomfortable, fidgeting around in his seat. 

"Dude I came all the way over here because you had a nightmare, I could be sleeping right now." She rolled her eyes. "So you're telling me."

"But it's stupid, really." 

"Not to me it isn't."

"Well to me it is."

"C'mon Lars I didn't come here for nothin' "

"Prim just let it go." 

"Nope."

"You're really starting to annoy me."

"Don't care, now spit it out already!"

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"Because it's dumb!"

"Its not dumb!"

"Yes! It! Is!"

"UGH!" Prim stood from her seat and jabbed her finger into Lars's chest. "Why must you be so freakin stubborn?!"

"Why are you always trying to get into everyone's business?!" Lars pushed Prim's arms away. 

"YOU TOLD ME TO COME OVER!" Prim flailed her arms around. "God, you say you're life is so horrible, so miserable! Oh boohoo Lars!"

"Yeah! SO WHAT?!"

"Maybe if you talked about your feelings you would be a nicer person and everyone would like you!" Prim yelled at him, shoving the chair in and leaning over table to get in his face.

"Well in so sorry your majesty but I HATE talking about my feelings!"

"WHY?!"

"B-BECAUSE I'M SCARED!!!" Lars's hand went down and he hit the table with a loud bang. Silence fell between them, the only sounds filling the air at the moment was their heaving. "Are you happy?!" His voice cracked as he wiped the building tears from his eyes, sitting back down and hiding his face in his arms. Lars's shoulders shook as he cried and Prim looked down at him pitifully. 

Prim sat back down and sighed, running a hand over her face. "Lars..."

"W-What?" He whimpered into his arms.

"Look at me."

Lars moved his head so that Prim could only see just his eyes; those dark eyes that were streaked with tears. 

Prim put her hand on his arm and leaned in. "Tell me what happened."

Lars furrowed his brows, wiping his eyes and grabbing a tissue from the tissue box beside him. "It's just...it was all dark. No light, nothin, just pitch black. A-And I was alone! Just me, falling down an endless pit of darkness. Prim I couldn't escape! I was so scared! No mom and dad, no Sadie--no Steven...n-not even you..." he placed his hand over Prim's, looking away with tinted cheeks. "I thought it would never end. And then there was horrible voices. They said such hurtful t-things..." Lars shut his eyes tightly and his shoulders shook. 

"What did these voices say Lars?" Prim asked gently. 

"They....they...called me pathetic. A-A waste of s-space. They said my parents were ashamed of me. That I was a loser." He covered his eyes. "But they were true. These voices were right about everything they said." 

Prim's eyes widened and it felt like her heart broke. 'Oh you poor thing...' She was his friend, this was probably the first time Lars has ever opened up to anyone, but Prim didn't know what to do.

"Why can't I just be like Steven?" Lars said. "Why can't I just be like...you?" He looked up at her. "You're kind to everyone and everything. You're smart, passionate, you help everyone who has a problem, and you make a new friend everyday--the same with Steven. Y-You're nice to me, even when I treat you badly," the teen looked away with shame. 

Prim shook her head, "There's only one Steven, there's only one of me, and then there's just one of you. And to just think of two Stevens drives me nuts," she cracked a toothy smile, thinking of her brother. "The things those voices said aren't true in any way, shape, or form, I  promise you that. You are who you are, and no one could change you. Sure you have your bad days, but who doesn't? And sure you have more bad days than good, but that just makes the good days seem even more special then they really are." Prim cupped Lars's cheeks, wiping the tears away with her fingers. "You're special."

"R-Really?" Sniffed Lars, swallowing hard and face becoming hotter. 

"In my eyes you are. To me you always will be." The two smiled at each other, faces rather close now. "We all get nightmares. Even you Lars, even I."

"Thank you, Prim..." Lars whispered. "Ya'know, now that I look at you more and more often, I never told you this, but you really are beautiful."

"Jeez, I get you to open up once and you're already telling me I'm beautiful?" She smirked, blowing a lose strand of hair out of her face. 

He rolled his eyes, moving his eyes away from hers. "W-Well, since we're in the moment n' all, I thought I should just tell you. I mean, you're gorgeous!"

Prim's face started to feel hot with embarrassment, the sweatshirt suddenly not being needed anymore. Prim pulled back and pulled the sweatshirt off, the cool breeze hitting her skin and her gem glowing with passion. It was out there, making her body feel warm with....love? 'This is an odd feeing...' she thought to herself. She only ever felt her dad's fatherly love, or Steven's brother love, even the Gem's motherly love in a way...never this kind. Maybe it wasn't even love, she didn't know, but from then on when she looked at the boy in front of her, she felt...different. Her stomach tingled, like butterflies swarmed inside. Her heart pounded in her chest, her cheeks going red as she leaned forward again. 

"O-Oh w-w-well thanks," Prim laughed softly, rubbing the back of her head. "You flatter me---

A pair of lips pressed against hers, a hand on the back of her head. Prim stuttered into the kiss, her heart skipping a few beats, a feeling of warmth engulf her. Prim kissed Lars back, holding his shoulders. A few seconds later they both broke away, gasping for air, falling back in their seats. She touched her lips with her fingertips, slouching in her chair. 'Did he just...?'

Lars himself looked like he couldn't believe what he had done. He covered his mouth, his face passed the color red, looking away out of sheer humiliation. "I'm sorry Prim, I...I-I don't know what came over me--" Prim rose from her seat, looking at Lars with a smirk. "Wait, where are you going?" He asked, sounding a bit saddened and panicked. 

She rolled her dark eyes at him and walked around the table and stood in front of Lars. "Where am I gonna go?" She asked, a smile on her lips. 

(Ok so like I don't know if this is Would be labeled as pg 13/14 form this point on, so don't go nutso in the comments!)

Prim sat down on Lars's lap, facing him with her arms around his neck. Lars seemed to be in a dazing shock, his eyes still glittering with settling tears and face shining with streaks. She pressed against his chest, a small cheeky smile spread against her face. Lars stuttered over his words, his hands resting on her back, fingers moving over her gem. "I-I-I like you..." Lars mumbled quietly, looking her in the eyes (I know, real cheesy). "Like...really really like you..."

"Really? I haven't noticed," Prim raised her brows, "I'm just curious why me and not Sadie."

"Sadie..." he started, "I only ever seen Sadie as a friend. Nothing more, but I think she feels a bit stronger about me instead." 

"You don't think she'd be really mad at us, do you?" The girl of 14 asked a bit worriedly. After all, Sadie was her friend too, and she would never want to upset her.

"I don't know, actually, we'll just have to see."

"So that means..." Prim laughed a little, shrugging her shoulders, "that we're dating? Like...a thing?" 

Lars smiled widely, nodded his head, and rested his forehead against hers. Prim kissed his cheek, then his jawbone, and then laid a small kiss on his neck, and then a bigger one where his shoulder and neck met. "You won't ever abandon me, would you?" he moaned, his grip on Prim becoming stronger. "Like, leave me for someone better?"

Prim, the girl with dark, long springs for hair, chuckled softly, hugging the older boy's skinny yet strong chest to her. "Never" is what she whisper, giving him a loving kiss on the cheek.

[lokilickedme]

Submitted by @fudgemuffinanon

Ok I think I’m up to date….

1. HOLY SHIT WOMAN! You had Covid and just learned about it? How did you find out? Was it with a test? And you handled the asshat at the grocery store way better than I would have. I’m not patient, nor diplomatic, and I have major RBF syndrome… The temper goes with the face more ofter than I care to admit…

2. Your grandmother’s story was incredible. I know you don’t need another project but this could be a beautiful book. No fandom incorporated, just her story.

3. As @mollage said, the Universe is after you! But you may be one of the strongest woman I know, going through all your adventures with that attitude. Thank you Elizabeth for passing down your fiery spirit!

4. With everything that happened to you in the last few weeks, I can’t expect you to write anything. I’ll just wait and take what you give us. Fuck, I just have to deal with Baby Girl’s online school - Big Boy is responsible enough to deal with his class mostly alone - and I have to tell her to go back to the computer every 5 minutes and I’m going NUTS! And we have one more month to go…

Ontario has been in stay-at-home order since April 8th, and non-essential stores MAY reopen mid-June at 15% capacity and outdoor activities in small groups MAY resume IF we have 60% of population vaccinated with their first dose. We’re about 58% now according to Health Minister but they stopped giving Aztra as first dose, so all the pharmacies that could give it now can’t. There’s a lot less Pfizer and Moderna doses available so I don’t know how fast it will happen. But it means I will most likely get my second dose quicker than August. Yay me! Second phase won’t happen until we get 70% 1st dose vaccination. So we’re stuck for a while. We’re going out in the woods for walks once in a while so we don’t get too close to people but I want to go to a fabric store sooooo bad!! I’m done picking ticks off hubby everytime we get out.  And I’m running out of crafts to learn on youtube. 

Ok, enough ranting…  gotta go finish knitting Baby girl’s bday gift. A 6" turtle. With clothes. And a shawl. And boots. Yeah… Love ya!

*******************************************************

Fudgey!!

Yup. All four of us had covid back in November of 2019, before it broke wide and before anyone really knew it was in the US. Husband was able to track it back to a coworker who’d returned from a family visit to China (he works with a large community of Asian Americans who travel back and forth a lot). The coworker came home sick, and shortly after that our household got the worst “flu” any of us have ever had (that was what we thought it was, a weirdly violent flu that hit each of us differently). I’ve never been sicker in my life, my husband thought I was going to die and he claims I told him to just let me go if it looked like I wasn’t going to make it. I’m pretty sure I meant it…it was that bad. I may have actually requested an assist to the other side at one point.

So anyway, a little while later it broke wide and when the symptom lists started coming out we started wondering if that wasn’t what we’d had. Husband finally a few weeks ago went and talked to the guy that had come back sick from overseas and the guy said “Oh yeah, I had the covid, did you get it too?”

By that time there had been approximately 150 known cases at husband’s workplace and six confirmed deaths from it. Grrrr.

At this point it was too late for us to get confirmed, but husband contacted a friend in Colorado who is a covid specialty ER nurse and described our symptoms and the timeframe of our illness to her. She said we absolutely had it - she’d had it too during that same timeframe, before it broke wide and before anyone knew what it was.

So now all my lingering weird-ass symptoms make sense. Big and Little are fine, they don’t seem to have any long-term problems, though I’m keeping an eye on them (especially Big). Husband is fine as well. Me? I took it in the seat of the pants, but like I was telling someone the other day, as soon as one of the longhaul clinics sets up here I’m gonna be there.

The putz in the grocery store was nothing unusual for here. What really gets me is the way people glare at us for continuing to wear masks - it’s almost scary. WTF is wrong with people.

Glad you liked my grandma’s story. Honestly I don’t know enough to write a book about her without having to speculate on a lot of in-between stuff because she was a very secretive person (probably for a good reason tbh) but what a tale it would be. She was a mess :D My mother has always been mad at me for taking after her - she never liked my grandmother much, there was some bad blood between them from decades back, and yeah that’s kind of a good story too lol

Ah, speaking of writing, I’m going to toss out a short chap of that silly self indulgent side-thing for The Department tonight (probably as soon as I send this reply off) and then I’m shooting for a chapter of the actual fic tomorrow at some point. Taking advantage of the husbandary absence (yes I know that’s not a word but it works)

I feel ya on the homeschooling - the boys finished their semester two weeks ago and the stress of that final week for Big (9th grade) was insane.

I wish we were under a stay-at-home order, but where I live hardly anyone obeyed it when we WERE. I love living here but I swear sometimes the people make me want to move off-planet just to find a higher intelligence demographic.

Anyway, I gotta see this turtle when you’re finished with it. You mentioned it so now you gotta show it. I’m going to bug you every day until you provide pictures because even though I can crochet a blanket like nobody’s business I cannot crochet a doll to save my own ass. Gonna have to rely on you for that ;P

@fudgemuffinanon

[themilky-way]

as the hours pass {loki odinson}

gif credit: littlemisssyreid

pairing: loki odinson x fem!reader (might be considered gender neutral, though)

summary: he afraid of what he feels, so he does the only the thing he knows how to do: lie. based on this ask.

warnings: super shitty angst lol cuz it was 9 pm and my brain cells were FRIED. i think that’s it?? fluff at the end tho so we good 

author’s note: this took me a whole mf week to write which isn’t that bad but i have no time now and it’s kinda scary. yolo tho lol 

----------

when tony had initially proposed a weekly movie night for the entire team, not a single person would’ve imagined anything like this. a large projector had taken the place of the regular flatscreen television, consequently lining up in all the four corners of the penthouse windows. couches and reclining chairs compiled in a large circle instead of being adequately spread out amongst the common room, and they’d all been filled by at least one avenger. to those wishing to participate, jobs and duties had been assigned the week prior, the list ranging from making popcorn to dimming the lights. it was organized-sophisticated, in a way-how it had all been brought about, and to say the majority of the residents living in tony’s multi billionaire penthouse were surprised was quite the understatement. 

over the course of a few weeks, everything began falling into place. reminders didn’t need to be set anymore, and the designated tasks weren’t viewed as chores. natasha made sure to pop three full bags of delicious kernels- ensuring thor’s bowl had just enough butter to lick his fingers clean when he finished-while steve arranged a variety of pillows and blankets around the seating space. soon enough, fading shades of purple would ignite the obscurity of the living room-all due to the led lights binded to the borders of its ceiling-and either a horror or comedy film would commence. 

in such a manner, your spot could always be found on the same peculiar couch, next to the same peculiar individual. god, at that. to literally go to hell and back, to get placed in a home that wasn’t his home with people who wanted his head wasn’t particularly an easy life to lead. he wasn’t a man of sentiment, either, nor one who engaged in communal activities, so you took your part as a good samaritan and kept him company. the seat next to loki had been unreserved, with not even thor to take its place, and you shuffled away from a very frightened wanda to settle beside him. he'd been neutral, annoyed perhaps. if a stranger came to sit next to you out of the blue, wouldn’t you be, too? 

“mind if i sit here?” a mild pause signaled a response, and the shrug of his shoulders gave it away. “i’m not really enjoying the movie, and the space looked kinda cozy,” you added. 

after you had thoroughly felt the soft cushion of the seat and all its comfort, it was rather difficult to stray away from it. every friday evening, the striped bedding of the couch awaited your presence, and a pillow of an identical design lay by the armrest. loki always got there first, a bowl of ice containing two ice cream bars in his grasp, and if the belief that he had ever been remotely inconsiderate damaged your reasoning, the chocolate chip cookie he gifted you at the start of every night proved you wrong. 

if loki truly had to be honest with himself-his father, if he was peering down from above-the companionship you bestowed upon him didn’t upset him as he presumed it would. he half-expected his cold and antisocial nature to speak for itself, to grab hold of the kindness of your heart, crush it, and scatter its pieces so your blind hands would have to search aimlessly for them. for him, the opportunity would’ve been so effortless, so relieving in its own wicked sense, but you had already known that from the minute the tips of your sock-clad toes had walked right up to his. your words had been honey to him, simple yet profoundly eloquent that had dripped away every vowel on his tongue. the warmth that encircled you caromed over to him, and then his icy fingers became regular fingers, and his wintry complexion no longer overpowered the person he strived to be.

the thought alone of developing a kinship alarmed the presumably mischievous man, and when time, the most rewarding elements of his beloved universe, presented him with such a miraculous creature, he went into a comatose. the object of his interest was no longer an object, it was a person, an individual that appeared to envelop his nonexistent grace as if they depended on it. so his beautiful, virulent mind, as plentiful of wisdom as it was, conceived what it regarded to be the only correct answer. 

the seconds of long anticipated hours grew legs, and urged fragments of minutes to run off. solitude embraced the area loki used to adore being in, and his absence planted a seed of confusion within the person always seated beside him. the following nights were mindless for you, even when wanda had selected your favorite films to view, your headspace drifting off to the god who wasn’t watching it with you. interactions between your team lessened. refusing a handful of thor’s popcorn became a habit, and although he questioned you about it, he never brought it up again. then, a month flew by before you could cognitively process it. loki’s eyes hardly ever witnessed daylight now, or you for that matter. more often than not, his ear perked up at the soft squeaks of sneakers before their shadow halted in front of his door. the air in his lungs would almost escape from him entirely, lips pursed so tightly he felt them turn white, before mere seconds later distorted voices trailed your feet away from the barrier that separated him from you. foolish, he’d been foolish to deceive you so childishly. what could he possibly tell you now, that wouldn’t lead you to scurry away from him?

tonight, the best remedy to get some rest was to fix some tea. a good read seemed suitable enough, too, so a copy of The Scarlet Letter decorated your pillow. you trusted your weary legs to navigate you to the kitchen while your brain busied in forming unrealistic scenarios, as silly as it sounds, and you were doing fine and dandy until a conversation reeled you back in. an all too familiar voice-one you hadn’t heard in so long-was speaking, ranting, about things that bothered him? yeah, that was it. 

it was wrong to what you did at that moment, your dear mother had taught you better than this, but the never ending words spewing from loki’s mouth had glued the soles of your feet to the chilling tiles. 

a heartbeat shriveled to nothing, a weighty ache engulfing it in all its mighty glory, and everything you ever came to know became deception. “...ridiculous! i’ll tell you one thing, brother, and that is that they’re absurd for thinking i’m better.”

a booming retort-thor’s-defended you. “you’re ridiculous. they’re good to you and you’re going to throw it away because you’re afraid?” he neatly placed his mug on the counter before his firm hand landed on his brother’s shoulder and squeezed in reassurance. “if you keep pushing people away, you’ll outlive centuries-worth of joy.” loki flicked it away. “do they truly matter to you? enough for you to stop hurting them?”

the wall pressing into your shoulder obscured the visual of loki nodding his head. the tea you craved for now sounded disgusting, and no matter how hard you blinked your eyes, a puddle threatened to hover over them. you began toying with the sleeves of your sweater, hating the emerald shade you chose for it, and your head drooped down to focus on its marbled designs. odd shapes helped center your emotions, too much that you missed a figure passing by the entry. 

did you jump? yes. did loki jump? also yes. 

“what-why are you-why are you standing there?” his voice was shaky, concerned. he looked at your figure over once, his nervous glare lingering a little too closely at the pigment of your shirt, before he focused on you. it was hard for him to miss your anguish. the question his brother had previously asked him looped in his head, and by odin yes-yes, you mattered to him. 

“did you hear what i said?” he gulped. “all of it?”

your pupils were fully dilated, mouth inconceivably dry, so you muttered a tiny “yeah.”

“it’s alright, though. i’m not-i’m not mad, or sad, or whatever. i get it.” with enough strength, you pushed your body away from where you’d been cornered and started your leave. a tightening on your wrist stopped you. 

“please don’t go.” loki never begged, and he always trusted his ego to prevent him from doing it, but he’d inflicted grief on his most treasured midgardian, and he’d have to remedy that. “please.” 

“loki, hey it’s alright. i’ll leave you alone if that’s what you need.” he held you tighter before pulling your palm up to meet his chest. “what are you-look, i’m sorry-”

“you’re sorry?” he cut you off. “i’m sorry, don’t you see what you do to me?” the pad of one of his own hands moved to cover the back of yours to push it further onto his covered heart. it was beating faster than godly possible. if he were anyone else, maybe he was nearing a heart attack. “i do believe you’re the first one to do that.”

you ceased touching him before beginning to speak, but he knew your apologies, your questions, before they even escaped your lips. he fumbled on his words for some time, thorough confessions of his feelings never came as easily as he hoped, but he managed to get the point across. his obsidian, curly locks drizzling over his tiresome face distracted you, and his enticing features, his slurred attempts to achieve your forgiveness forced a tiny grin onto your mouth.

“it’s okay, honey,” you extended a hand outward in greeting. “let’s just start over, yeah?”

he choked on a breath at the name, and then two clammy hands melded into one, and everything was alright for once. “i’m loki, and the pleasure’s all mine, darling.”

[jalapeno-princess]

Clandestine Meetings and Stolen Stares

Physics Professor Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 9.9K (Damn it felt longer haha)

Genre: Angst, smut

Warnings: Rated 18+, unprotected sex, breast play, (nothing too explicit), cheating

Summary: It was your junior year in college and you couldn’t wait for it to be over with. You wanted nothing more than to graduate and get out of the hell hole that is college. All you really cared about was your education, your job, your friends and your family. However, that all changes the minute your eyes land on your indescribably handsome physics professor and what you thought was just a unreciprocated crush on the older man, turned in to more; so much more. (Sorry guys I don’t want to go too deep in the summary and give away the entire story so I’ll keep it at that)

A/N: Hey guys! Look at me claiming I won’t have time to write stories and throwing another one out there like nothing. This is apart of the song requests imagines and I do have quite a few of them so I will try get them out as soon as possible (I don’t want them to be too short or rushed so please be patient me and thank you again for your requests!) This was requested by one of my favorite followers @yup-indecisive-girl-cece​ thank you for all your love and support with my page and my stories! I hope you enjoy! (I wrote this in a few hours so there might be a few errors but eh whatever hahaha) Based on the song “Ilicit Affairs”. Honestly the album is a bop and I listened to it while writing this I actually plan on writing a few stories in the future about some of the songs off the album once I finish the requests. Happy reading!

“Y/n—earth to y/n. Hey! Is everything okay?” 

If you could describe the current state of your mind, a mess wasn’t even half of what was going on up there. There were many different thoughts going on in your head; unfortunately they were all negative. You wouldn’t have even known you were tearing up if your best friend Yugyeom didn’t wave his hand in front of your face to break you out of your trance. 

“Huh? Oh—yeah. I’m fine. It’s just—I’m just tired I guess. Finals are coming up and I’ve been pulling all-nighters almost every night so I’m pretty exhausted. But don’t worry about me. I’m okay.” 

As much as you hated lying to the older boy, especially because he told you about every single thing that went on in his life, there was no way you could tell him the real reason why you were so distracted; why you were on the verge of breaking down in tears. He would never understand nor did you think he would want to continue your friendship if he were to know exactly what was clouding your thoughts. 

Thankfully he didn’t continue to press for more questions and turned his focus back to the chocolate shake you purchased for him half an hour ago. If you were going to tell anyone what was causing you so much distress, you’d be in so much trouble and so would he. Feeling your phone vibrate against your lap made your breathe hitch because you knew exactly who it was. 

The only two people who have been reaching out to you these days other than your parents to see how college overseas was going, was the outspoken yet gentle and child-like boy sitting in front of you and your physics professor Mark Tuan. He was the reason why you’ve been so uptight; so tense these last few days and unlike most of your classmates, you weren’t even nervous about any of your finals because most of your worries were caused by him. 

When you signed up for Physics 345 with Professor Mark Tuan, you didn’t think anything of it. Since it was your junior year in college, all you were focused on was passing junior year with flying colors and concentrating on your last two semesters in college, working on your senior thesis and graduating on time. What you weren’t expecting, was getting in to an affair with said professor that would go on for longer than expected. 

Everything going on in your life up until the point of meeting Mark for the first time was going pretty well. You and your friends were enjoying what was left of being college students; going clubbing on the weekends, having some drinks at the bar when school was getting rough, attending parties thrown by some of the most popular students in school and just hanging out at each other’s places when you all had free time. 

You had a part time job at the library which you were extremely grateful for; you hardly had to do anything, it was always pretty quiet and you got to work on your assignments most of the time so it was a win-win situation. Although you missed your family every now and then, you had quite a bit on your plate to really feel homesick. Little did you know, that word would have a different meaning to it a few months later. Walking in to the auditorium, you weren’t surprised to see that you didn’t know anybody in your class. 

Your campus was huge and from what you knew, none of your friends had any plans on failing a class so they all laughed in your face when you recommended it to them. If only you took Youngjae’s advice and signed up for Religion 315 like he did, you wouldn’t be in the mess you were in right now. But then again, you wouldn’t have met the man who changed your outlook on both life and love completely. You wouldn’t have met the man who now owned your stupid, stupid heart. 

Since you were notorious for making it to class earlier than most students in order to get a good seat, you decided to play a few games on your phone before scrolling through social media. After getting bored on twitter, you pulled out one of your notebooks and started to prepare your notes when you heard heels clicking against the tiled floor. 

You were never a believer in love at first sight. It was so cliche. How could someone be in love with someone just by looking at them and not knowing anything about them? There was no way and yet, when you took a look at your new science professor, you could physically feel your soul leaving your body. He was handsome, there was no doubt about it. In fact, that was an understatement. 

He was gorgeous. You didn’t think young science professors existed let alone one that looked like he came straight out of vogue magazine. All your science teachers from high school had white hair, glasses and wore suspenders. This guy was wearing a red flannel over a plain black v-neck, torn skinny jeans and vans. There was no way he was your professor; but as soon as he placed his briefcase down on the desk and looked around the classroom with a stupidly handsome grin on his face, you knew you were fucked. 

“Hello class, I’m Mark Tuan your physics professor. Please call me Mark. I’m fine with professor, but no Mr.Tuan. It makes me feel old. A little bit about me, this is my second year teaching physics. I graduated with my bachelor’s degree in physics, went on and got my master’s in teaching and graduated with my doctorate two years ago now here I am. I’m one of those weirdos who love science, I love learning more and more about science each and every day. I’m thirty-one years old, I’ve been married for three amazing years and I have a one-year-old daughter named Ella. We also have a dog named Milo. In my free time, I like to play video games and watch the office. Well, that’s it about me. There’s about forty-five of you in here, so it would probably take the entire class if you guys were to introduce yourselves individually so instead I’ll have you get in to groups and you guys can just  talk amongst your peers.”

It was as if everything he said went through one ear and out the other. All you could pay attention to was his pretty pink lips and how soft they looked. You could also feel your heart flutter at the way he smiled when talking about his passion for science. However, hearing that he had a wife and a daughter brought a weird feeling to your chest but what did it matter? He was your science professor and this was only the first day you met him. You told yourself it was just his good looks that you were attracted to, but deep down you knew there was something else that got you thinking about him a little more than you should. 

As your classmates went around in a circle talking about what major they were studying, why they signed up for physics and what they want to learn in the class, your eyes began to wander around the room in search of your professor and you hated that you didn’t know why. You’ve seen and even been with a decent amount of good looking guys. Your ex-boyfriend was actually considered to be one of the best looking guys in your university, so you had a hard time understanding why you couldn’t take your eyes off of Mark. As soon as you found him, you felt as if your heart was about to jump from out of your chest when you realized he was already looking at you. 

You were sure if you were to look in a mirror, your face would be red from embarrassment. Was he watching you this entire time? Did he know you were practically ogling at him this entire time when you were supposed to be paying attention to your classmates? To both your delight and dismay, he sent you a flirtatious wink before making his way to your group. You felt like you were about to be sick. Feeling him stand behind you while placing his hands on the chair sent chills down your spine. 

Why was he so close? And why did you want him closer? When he was talking to other groups, he stood a few inches away from them but right now he was in your personal space and you couldn’t help the thought of wanting him even closer. 

“How are we doing here?” Your classmates hummed in content before they started going around and telling him their answers. “Okay, what about you? What’s your name, major, why you took this class and what you want to learn in this class.” 

He pulled his hands away from your chair and walked towards the other side of the room to give you eye contact and offer you his full attention. You didn’t know what was worse; him standing directly behind you giving off his intimidating aura, or him looking at you while you were for sure about to make a fool out of yourself. To prevent yourself from looking like an idiot even more than you probably already did, you brought your attention to your notebook and pretended as if you were reading off from your notes. 

“My name is y/n, I’m an English and communications double major with a minor in Spanish language. I—uh—I’m—shit I’m sorry what were the rest of the questions again?” 

He looked at you in curiosity before letting out a soft giggle. This man was thirty-one years old, how was he capable of such an adorable, high pitched laugh? And how could you butcher that entire thing? You only needed to answer three questions with two of them relating to one another. You were sure you made your attraction even more obvious if he couldn’t already tell by the way you were practically drooling over him. 

“What made you sign up for this class and what do you want to learn?” 

You softly bit your lip out of frustration and took in a deep breath before responding. Once class was over, you were going straight to the bar and getting drunk. This was only day one, you had five months with Mark as your professor and you fucked it up in less than half an hour. He was probably going to go home and laugh at your little breakdown. 

Although you had a feeling you weren’t the first to get flustered over him. If he’s been teaching for over two years, he had to have a few students that developed a crush on him. Surely you weren’t the only one. But that’s what it was and all it ever was going to be, a silly little crush. It was normal; Mark was handsome, he seemed very intelligent, very passionate about his field and was very energetic. He also seemed very child like and with the way he laughed at something you didn’t think was funny, you knew he was still a child at heart. 

“I enjoy science, I think it’s one of those intimidating subjects that people are afraid to take because they’re afraid of failing. I will admit I’m not the best in science and I’m sure I’ll probably be shit at physics, but I love learning and I’ll do my best in this class. Or at least try to. I want to learn more about motion, movement and the relative entities of energy and force.” 

The soft smile he gave you went straight to your chest; there was no way you’d be able to survive the rest of the semester if he were to continue looking at you like that. His wife was one lucky woman. What world war did she fight in her past life to land him as a husband? 

“I like that answer y/n. I look forward to working with you this semester. I’m sure you’ll learn a lot about force and energy in this class and if you don’t end up doing too well, I listed my office hours on the syllabus. Feel free to stop by if and when you need help—and I mean this to all of you. Don’t be shy to ask me for help, I would rather spend a few grueling hours teaching you about Newton’s law than to have you fail my class entirely. Okay, for the remainder of class, I’ll be going over the syllabus and luckily the school provides the required textbook so you can all save an extra $200. I expect you all to use that wisely.” 

There was a feeling in your gut telling you he meant more than what he was saying about his office hours, but then again you felt stupid for even thinking that. He was married for three years and he had a daughter. He was also ten years your senior and you didn’t think you were all that special for someone like Mark to look at you in that way. 

He was your science professor and that’s all he was ever going to be to you. You knew exactly what you were going to do with that extra $200 once you were finished with school. Once class was over, you hastily packed away your things before making a beeline towards the door. Right as you were about to walk out, you heard Mark softly whisper your name. 

“Have a nice rest of your day y/n, see you Thursday!” 

Yeah, you were definitely getting plastered tonight. You didn’t even get to take five steps out of the classroom when you felt an arm roughly thrown around your shoulder. 

“There‘s my favorite science nerd. How was the first day of hell huh? Only two semesters left.” You let out a hysterical chuckle; as much as you hated school and couldn’t wait to graduate, you weren’t quite ready to enter the real world just yet. However, feeling the effect that Mark had on you knowing that it was only the first day toyed with your mind a little bit. You kept telling yourself over and over that he was just being nice, but you didn’t hear him saying anything else to any of the other students. 

Was he just picking on you specifically because of your little breakdown in his class? Your chances of passing physics with a grade higher than a C were already  pretty slim, what more now that you had a Greek God as your professor? You were doomed. The first couple of weeks went by better than you had expected. Sure, there was some material that you had a hard time learning but you refused to schedule office hours with Mark. Being in a class with him surrounded by thirty other students was already extremely overwhelming, you didn’t even want to know what were to happen if you were alone with him. You’d probably have to drop off the face of the earth from embarrassing yourself tremendously. 

A month later, you found yourself between a rock and a hard place. Physics only became more and more tough as the days went by and you cursed Mark for giving you so many difficult assignments. It’s as if he was taunting you. You did what you could first before you even thought about signing up to meet with him. Going to see Mark during his office hours was your last resort. First you reached out to a couple of your classmates; asking for them to explain the material to you but nothing worked. 

They were all very kind in trying to help you, but you still couldn’t memorize nor understand the seven branches of physics. Then you went along with BamBam’s suggestion to go get tutored but just like your classmates, the tutor couldn’t even help you which is why you found yourself emailing Mark to schedule an appointment with him. His response made your eyes roll, but it also sent warmth to your heart and you hated yourself for not being able to learn it on your own from the few sources you had around you. On one of your days off, you made your way up to Mark’s office and gently knocked on the door; patiently waiting until he welcomed you in. 

“Come inside.” 

You hesitantly walked in and sat down on one of the chairs he had facing adjacent toward his desk. You began to look around the room and smiled to yourself at how much his office matched him as a person. It was simple, yet the few trinkets and bobble heads he had on the shelf made the room a little more lively. 

“Took you a while to meet with me. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your grades for a while now, so I’m glad you actually came in for help. Your test scores aren’t looking too good y/n.” 

You released a long sigh; disappointed with the news but not surprised. Why did you think you were capable of such a complicated subject? Even some of the smartest students on your campus had a hard time with physics and you wouldn’t consider yourself dumb, but then again you weren’t the brightest bulb in the bunch. 

“I know. I’m sorry, I should’ve came earlier. I just—I didn’t want to bother you. I tried asking for help from tutors and other students in the class but nothing worked, so here I am.” 

He gazed at you with an unidentifiable look on his face and it made you nervous. You didn’t know exactly what it could have meant and the curiosity was eating away at you. 

“You know y/n, I commend you on taking this class. I know you took it as an elective and I’m sorry it’s probably not what you expected it to be. I’ve been told I can go a little hard on students sometimes, but I’ve been trying to make the work a little more easier than it was last semester. I couldn’t help but take notice though, you do amazing when it comes to the homework. You ace the lessons like nothing, it’s just the quizzes and the exams you’re not doing too great with and it’s probably because you take it in class, with me in the room.” 

Your eyes widened at his last few words but he gave you no time to ask what was on your tongue as he got up from his chair and sat directly in front of you on his table. 

“Am I a distraction y/n? Don’t think I haven’t observed the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking. It’s actually cute by the way—sexier when you bite your lip though. I guess this is the time to admit that I do the exact same thing, although I’m more discreet about it than you are. I love knowing the effect I have on you; if only you knew the effect you have on me princess.” 

Were you dreaming? You had to be, there was no way this was actually going on right now. There was no way Mark confronted you about drooling over him in class only to tell you that he’s been doing the exact same thing. What was going on? Was he messing with you? He had to be. Mark Tuan couldn’t have feelings for you—he had a family. And you—you were just a junior in college. His student to be exact; he had to be pulling your leg. 

Yet the way he was looking at you, so seductively with a charismatic glint in his eye sent warmth to your core. The way he was looking at you as if he was a lion and you were his prey, ready to pounce on you did wonders to your body. You couldn’t describe the way Mark made you feel. The way he made you want to do better, the way you wanted to impress him and be someone he admired. The way you wanted to be the reason behind his contagious laughter and breathtaking smile. 

There weren’t enough words to describe what Mark made you feel and when you felt his fingers grip your chin and tilt it upwards so that the two of you made eye contact, you were putty in his hands. As wrong is this all was, you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop. 

“What are you doing to me y/n? I have a family whom I love dearly, but I can’t stop thinking about you. You’ve been on my mind every single day since the first day of school. I don’t know what is about you—well it’s obvious that you’re beautiful. Extremely beautiful y/n. But I’ve seen hundreds of beautiful women in my thirty-one years of living and I’ve never batted an eye at any of them. You were so flustered, so adorably clumsy on the first day but it was the eagerness, the enthusiasm you had in wanting to learn even if you may not be the best in science. You remind me a lot like myself when I was your age. You’re one of the most hard working and extremely intelligent students that I know. I—fuck. I’m aware that a few of my students have crushes on me in the last two years and I found it cute but that was it. They didn’t make me question the love I have for my wife and the status of my marriage the way you do. I really shouldn’t be saying things like this before knowing how you feel but I can’t help it. I like you y/n. I really like you and I know it’s wrong for so many reasons and please don’t feel like you have to reciprocate these feelings, please just don’t say anything.” 

Your mouth was dry and didn’t know how to respond to his entire confession. It was still taking you a while to process the entire thing. Not once in your life would you have ever pictured yourself in a situation like this. No, things like this only happened in movies. To both of your surprises, you found yourself smashing your mouth against his, silencing any doubts that he had about your feelings for him. His lips were soft and gentle against yours, but the grip he now had on your hips was rough and intoxicating. It was hard to believe that for the last month, you’ve been dreaming about how his pretty lips would feel against yours not knowing that here you would be a year later, lying flat on your back on top of his desk while he left multiple kisses along your neck and chest. 

“I—like you too—a lot—and if this is wrong—well fuck Mark I don’t want to be right.” 

It was true; you knew having an affair with your professor was taboo and you knew what you were doing was terribly wrong, but you were just going to have to deal with the consequences later. Now, you were going to show the beautiful man in front of you just how crazy he’s been driving you over the last month. He smiled against the inside of your thigh and made his way up to your soaking entrance, blowing some hot air against your core before flicking at your clit with his tongue. 

“Well, I’ll be your dirty little secret and you’ll be mine. Oh and by the way y/n, consider this a one on one lesson about energy, force, movement and motion. I’m going to drain you of all your energy, force my cock in to this pretty little pussy of yours, have you bounce on my dick like the professional cowgirl I’m sure you are and then I’ll bury myself balls deep inside of you while hitting it from the back. How does that sound?” 

The wanton moan that fell from your lips at the sound of his naughty words made the coil that was already building in your stomach tighten. The two of you spent the rest of the day exploring and learning each other’s bodies. You didn’t think that it was possible to explore the many different positions that the two of you dabbled in while being in such an enclosed space but you weren’t complaining. You knew that you wouldn’t be able to come in here again without reminiscing on the way Mark had your breasts pressed up against the window while he roughly drilled himself in to you doggy style.

Once the two of you both came down from your highs, he took a couple of tissues from his desk and wiped you down. He placed a soft kiss on your forehead before he went searching for your clothes that he greedily ripped off of you and flew across the room in a haste to finally get inside of you. His breathless moans and grunts, murmured curses, kinky and naughty words and the multiple compliments that fell from his lips while you were loving up on each other were now etched in to the back of your mind. As you watched him pull up his jeans, you felt a pang of hurt hit your chest. 

What have you done? You just slept with your professor; a married man, it didn’t matter if he had feelings for you and that you reciprocated them, you shouldn’t have let your selfish desires and carnal urges take over. For all you knew, his poor wife who had no clue what just happened with you and her husband was sitting at home waiting for him to finish work, probably playing with their daughter and the image made you feel pathetic. You just allowed yourself to fool around with a little girl’s father. You could be the reason she grows up in a broken home because her mother found out about her father’s brief lapse of judgement. 

However, you didn’t feel as much as remorse as you did your feelings for Mark and if he was okay with having an affair with you, than who were you to disagree? Over the next six months, you and Mark snuck around to fool around with one another. If he wasn’t blowing your back out in his office, he was taking you up against the fridge in your apartment or having you ride him in the backseat of your car. After your first time together, he set some ground rules. You weren’t able to text him unless he texted you first in fear of his wife seeing your messages; which turned in to emails instead because it was easier to tell you of how much he missed having his face in between your pretty titties and how much he loves the feeling of you clenching around him. 

You also weren’t allow to mark him in any way which was a given, but that didn’t stop him from leaving a couple of love bites and hickeys around your body making it known that your bed was spoken for. He also didn’t want your affair to get in the way of your job or your studies, therefore he refused to meet up with you no matter how much he wanted to until you finished your work. You didn’t know how the two of you have been keeping this a secret for so long. You were no longer a student of his, but that didn’t stop you from attending his office hours. 

Unfortunately, you made the mistake of falling in love with him less than three months in to your secret little rendezvous but it was hard not to. Sure, most of your relationship was spent making love with one another, but there were times that you got to see the real Mark. There were days where you actually went to see him for some help on your assignments and he would always be so patient and understanding with you. He would also reward you with kisses every time you got an answer right and it made you want to try even harder. Sometimes when he would come over to your place, the two of you wouldn’t even have sex. 

You’d either cuddle and watch a movie together or bake something you saw on the food network. He was also pretty invested in the Xbox that you had and sometimes you’d find yourselves battling each other in halo or call of duty. It was in those moments, the moments where he asked you how your day was, where he held you in his arms for hours and comforted you when you found out your grandfather passed away, where he would buy you your favorite coffee drink and purchased things for you that reminded him of you. It was a mistake. How could you fall in love with someone who was on paper; unavailable?

Mark made you feel things that no one has ever felt before. He showed you things so beautiful that you could only see with him and he made you feel as if you were the most beautiful thing on this earth. When you were with him, you felt like everything was perfect. He made you extremely happy and you knew he felt the same way about you. But when you’d leave his office, or once he’d leave your apartment, you felt empty. 

There was a hole in your chest that he would leave every single time he’d have to go and return home; back to his family. To his wife, who wasn’t you. It would always cloud your mind; how could he continue to go home to her as if nothing was wrong. As if having an affair with one of your students and going back home to your wife was one of the most natural things to do? You didn’t mean to be so selfish and only think about your pain and your suffering, but you’d put yourself in her shoes every now and then. If it were you and you found out your husband were cheating on you, you’d be devastated. 

Over the weekend, you and Yugyeom were at the grocery store preparing for a movie night with a couple of friends to take your mind off of finals. The two of you were arguing on what type of chips to get when your eyes landed on a cute little baby sitting in the cart. She looked so familiar and you couldn’t exactly pinpoint where you have seen her before. It wasn’t until her mother turned the cart around that you knew she was Mark’s wife and that was her daughter. He had a picture of the three of them on his desk in the beginning of the semester and you couldn’t get over how pretty she was. 

She had long, silky hair, a petite frame and a gorgeous smile. The way she was looking at Mark in that photo was the same way you looked at him every day; with so much love and admiration. However, as your relationship continued, you were quick to notice that he took the photo from off of his desk and sometimes he even goes without his ring. It always made you curious as to why he did that, but you never had the courage to ask him. Seeing the two of them in person awoke something inside of you. 

Even if it was just a couple of seconds of seeing them, it felt as if a bucket of cold water was thrown on you and reality just slapped you in the face. For some reason, seeing them made you feel like you were about to throw up. You didn’t understand why you felt so bothered; you had no problem sneaking around with her husband for the last six months. But knowing she existed and actually seeing her were two different things. It made it all the more real that Mark was being unfaithful and that you were a home wrecker, slowly tearing their family apart. 

Only then did it occur to you that Mark wasn’t with them and you knew he was still probably sleeping because you tired him out in the back of your car the night before. You couldn’t allow this affair to continue; it was extremely stupid of you for letting it get this far and you were sure if you didn’t see the two of them that you would only get deeper and deeper in to a mess that you didn’t know how to get out of. That night, you found yourself at your previous fuck buddy Jinyoung’s house. You knew it was a big mistake, but you needed to know that there were other men out there who could please you. 

Other men that would find you attractive and love your body the way that Mark claimed to. Other men that would be able to take your mind off of the only man you’ve ever loved. You needed to know that you could move on from Mark; that he wasn’t the only man out there but as Jinyoung thrusted himself in to you and left wet, sloppy kisses in the crook of your neck, you knew that nobody could take Mark’s place. Nobody would ever be able to set fire to your bones and send your entire body in flames. Nobody could ever be nor replace Mark, and that’s what you were most afraid of. 

You weren’t surprised to see that Mark’s been trying to reach out to you for days. Ever since the day at the grocery store, you’ve been avoiding him. He’s sent you multiple emails over the weekend and thought that you were too busy with finals to get back to him so he understood. But when you didn’t meet up with him at his office that Monday and Tuesday, he knew something was up. You knew he was growing impatient and he must’ve known something was wrong. Mark never called you unless it was an emergency and even then, he would stick with emails and text messages. When you saw the two missed calls, you decided to finally give in and asked him if everything was okay. 

Come to my office in fifteen. We need to talk. 

You took in a deep breath and ignored the look of confusion on Yugyeom’s face before standing up and gathering your things. “One of my classmates are asking to meet up right now to study for the exam on Friday. If you’re not busy later, maybe we could go watch a movie or something. I’m sorry for leaving so sudden, but actually do some studying while I’m gone please? You have all the time after finals to focus on chocolate shakes Yugyeom. However, you won’t be able to afford to buy them anymore if you don’t graduate from college and get a decent paying job. I’ll see you later.” 

You slowly made your way out of the coffee shop to prevent yourself from looking suspicious, but once you left you quickly began making your way back to campus. Thankfully the coffee shop was only a couple of minutes away and it gave you enough to calm down your racing heart. You thought about what you were going to do the entire weekend. As painful and gut wrenching the idea of no longer having Mark in your life was, you just couldn’t keep doing this anymore. Sure, it was mainly because you hated being the cause of a broken home, but it was also because you could no longer be the other woman knowing you harbored feelings for him. 

She was his wife and you would forever be the whore that he only reached out to for sex. The closer you were to his building, the more you could feel the nerves building up all throughout your body. Surely he had to know you were staying away from him and not just focusing on your education in the moment. Even on the days where you were busy, you’d still contact him but you haven’t talked to him once the entire weekend. As soon as you made your way outside of his office, you took in a deep breath and gave yourself a couple of seconds to prepare your entire confrontative speech. 

To your dismay, as soon as you knocked on the door, it’s as if he was waiting right there; waiting for you to arrive because you couldn’t even finish knocking before he opened it. 

“Hi—“ the glare he gave you sent chills down your spine. He’s never looked so upset with you before. Was he really bothered with your silence? Why would he be though? You were just his play thing; you didn’t think not hearing from you would bother him in any way. He allowed you to walk in and closed the door; locking it just to be safe. There were a couple times where the two of you almost got caught because he forgot to do so. Luckily people always knocked before trying to open the door. 

You felt him before you saw him; he wrapped his arms around your lower waist and placed his chin on your shoulder. Many red flags were going off at the feeling of his embrace but you couldn’t pull away; this man took away your sanity. You put him before yourself so many times. You were afraid of the backlash that would come if you were to make it known that something was on your mind. 

This is your last time together y/n, make it worth the while. 

Feeling him leave soft kisses against your neck made you shiver. You began to think back to a few days ago when Jinyoung had you writhing underneath him. With Jinyoung, it felt so rushed and at the end, you felt so disgusted; so used. He didn’t even bring you to your orgasm. With Mark, your release was his number one priority. He wasn’t going to stop fucking you until you came and that’s what you were going to miss. Someone who genuinely seemed to care about you and your well being. Someone who made it his responsibility to make sure you were taken cared of. You were going to miss Mark, but you miss the person you were before stumbling in to bed with him. You were a young woman with morals; one who would frown upon cheaters, mistresses, adulterers. 

Time and time again, you told yourself you could never do that to someone but Mark Tuan broke down your walls entirely and got you to go against everything you ever believed in. Not anymore. Only for today, you were going to allow yourself to give in to him; to allow him to ravish in your body one more time. But once you were done, you were going to leave both his office and his life completely. 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” 

His voice sounded melancholic; as if he was sad that you’ve been doing so and it made you feel even worse. Why did you feel like you were the one ruining everything? When two people have an affair, the two are at fault. It takes two people to cheat, so why do you feel as if this is all your fault? Especially because he was the one to initiate it all? Why did you allow him to take so much from you? So much of your time, love, patience, spirit? Only for him to reciprocate it in sex? Why did you allow this man, this stupidly beautiful man, to own your heart knowing there was no way you could ever own his? 

“I’ve been busy with finals—“

“Bullshit y/n. Now tell me the truth. Why have you been avoiding me huh? Ignoring all my attempts in contacting you—did I say or do something to hurt you?” 

Yes, you broke my fucking heart. You fucked my body and fucked over my mind. You touched me, filled me up entirely and left me empty every single fucking time only to go home to a woman who isn’t me. Who will never be me and I refuse to let you have the power to hurt me anymore. 

“No. You didn’t do anything I’m just—I’m the problem. Don’t worry about me okay?” 

He released a frustrated sigh before turning you around in order to get a better look at you. He cupped both of your cheeks in his hands and gazed down softly at you. His gaze pulled on your heartstrings and now you were worried that there was no way you’d be able to leave now. Mark had that effect on you. He could make the entire world go away and your attention would be solely directed on him. 

“How can I not worry about you? You’re all I ever worry about—all I ever think about. I’ve missed you so much y/n. You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong okay? Just let me take care of you.” 

He missed you? No, he didn’t miss you, he missed the sex. He missed your body. He missed the way you did whatever he asked of you. There was no way in hell that he missed you, he didn’t know what he was saying. It was his dick talking for him; you knew how easily turned on he’d get from past experiences. You knew his words were a lie, so why were you now torn on what you should do once this was over? 

He brought his lips down to yours in what started off in an extremely passionate yet gentle kiss. However, it didn’t take long for the kiss to get heated. He gripped at the back of your thighs and wrapped your legs around his hips and roughly shoved you up against the wall. His lips were rough and hot against yours, nipping, sucking and tugging on your bottom lip while playfully squeezing your ass in the process. Your hands absentmindedly made their way in to his hair; it was a habit you had every time you both would make out. 

The soft grunts against your mouth made it aware that he enjoyed your little ministration, and you continued as the kiss only got deeper. Kissing Mark was what you thought you were going to miss the most; he told you on a few occasions how much he loved the feeling of your lips against his and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t trace your lips once he was gone just to reminisce on your love making session. 

“Need to—fuck you—now—right now.” 

You pulled away from his mouth and began leaving wet kisses along his jaw as he carried the two of you over to his desk. He laid you down gently on the table and brushed away some of your hair before stealing one more kiss. 

“You’re so beautiful y/n. Breathtaking.” 

He placed another kiss on your lips; more delicate and feather like this time. You didn’t know which of his kisses you preferred but with the way this one made your heart flutter, his gentler kiss was your new favorite. Countless men that had crushes on you, all of your exes and some one night stands would always tell you of how beautiful they thought you were, but nothing compared to hearing Mark tell you how beautiful you were. 

Although you never thought too much of yourself, Mark never failed to make you feel like a goddess verbally and physically. He brought his hands inside of your shirt and squeezed both your breasts, causing a soft moan to fall from your lips. 

“You like that? I know how much you love when I suck on these big titties of yours. Let daddy get inside of you and then I’ll show them some love.” Your shirt was thrown across the room with your shorts pulled off right after. 

“Fuck—I will never get enough of this view.” 

Watching him bite his lip while looking at you caused you to cross your legs in order to get any sort of friction against your throbbing core. How could someone who talked about such boring topics such as the earth’s mantle and the crevice of the moon be capable of such a naughty mouth? Just like you, he was now in just his underwear and you found yourself admiring his body in all it’s glory. Who knew a physics professor would be hiding such an impressive six pack under all his flannels and band tees? 

“Wanna see just how much I’ve missed you?” 

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before he took off his underwear and you swore you could come just by the sight of his thick and extremely hardened cock. The tip was red and you had a feeling it had to be painful. 

“I’m hard as a fucking rock y/n. I’m sorry you’re going through a hard time baby, but I’m gonna need your help in fixing this problem. You made daddy think you were ignoring him; now daddy’s gonna teach you a lesson.” 

He lined himself at your entrance and ran his cock along your soaking folds to lubricate himself before entering you. His hands made their way up to your chest and he shoved his palms inside of your bra, cupping and squeezing your mounds the same time he pushed himself inside of you. The two of you moan in unison; no matter how many times you’d make love, the stretch always drove the two of you insane. 

“Fuck—so tight—so wet—so, so good. Please—shit shit—tell me when I can move baby please—“ 

Another reason why you loved having sex with Mark was because he always put you first, every single time. He never failed to ask you how you were doing, if he could move, if he was hurting you, if the two of you could experiment in different positions. Although the two of you were commuting such a sinful act, he was always quite the gentlemen and it never failed to bring a smile on your face but they never lasted long. 

The second you nodded in agreement, he began roughly shoving his cock in and out of your cunt. His dick stretched out your tight walls deliciously. Each and every time he bottomed out, you let out a pleasurable sigh; his balls hit the back of your ass with every single thrust and you could feel his cock kiss your cervix whenever he’d return back in to your warm walls. He followed up his promise and continued fondling with your breasts and completely yanking your bra off so that it wasn’t in the way of him massaging your mounds. He flicked at your nipple and pinched the other before bringing your breast inside of his mouth completely. 

“M—Mark—mmm, fuck—your mouth—feels so good and your cock—f—fuck.” He giggled softly as he brought one of your nipples in between his teeth and nibbled softly. 

“What about my cock y/n? Tell me—my dirty little slut. Tell me how it feels? You love the feeling of my balls on your ass yeah? Love the way daddy’s long, thick cock feels going in and out of your slick walls, don’t you y/n? Because I do. Fuck—did you just get tighter—don’t do that y/n, you know what that does to me.” 

If only he knew the real meaning behind his words. If it were anyone else calling you their dirty little slut, you wouldn’t have thought twice about it but since it was Mark and technically yes, you were a dirty little slut, it made your stomach hurt. It wasn’t like you’d clench around him on purpose. It was just so much for you to take. The sound of skin on skin clapping and both your quiet moans filled the entire room making the atmosphere extremely sensual and erotic. He pulled away from your breasts and intertwined both your hands together while placing it on both sides of your head. 

His thrusts only got harder and faster as the minutes went by and you were sure with the pace he was going that you’d both reach your ends here pretty soon. Though most people considered missionary as the most boring sex position, it had to be one of your favorites. You loved watching Mark’s facial expressions as he drilled himself in and out of you. You loved watching the way his eyes would roll to the back of his head as the tip of his cock would graze your clit. You loved seeing his cocky smile every time he’d force you to beg for him to make you come. 

But something in the way he was looking at you right now was different. He never looked at you like this before and you couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but he looked both fucked out yet soft with a hint of what you assumed was worry or curiosity. A small smile rose upon his face and he leaned down to steal a kiss from your lips. 

“You mean a lot to me y/n. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Fuck, baby please tell me you’re close, please. You always get me to cum so soon. Your pussy is just that good. Ah—shit—“ 

Feeling his warm, creamy liquid fill up your walls got you to release not too long afterwards and you sent him a soft, cheeky grin even though you knew the hell that was coming. He gave you a few minutes to come down from your high and put his clothes back on before cleaning you up and helping you put on your shirt. The pleasurable soreness between your thighs made your cheeks warm and you were sure your legs were probably jelly at the rate he pounded you in, but you wanted your last time together to be memorable. 

After Mark, you don’t think you’d want to be involved with anyone else for a while. Not when you experienced what you thought was the love of a lifetime. Once you were both finished making yourselves look more presentable, he ran his hands through your hair and pecked your nose. Since you knew of your next actions, you pulled his mouth down to yours and left a long, sloppy kiss on his lips. God, you were going to miss him. 

“Hey, y/n, are you okay? I didn’t hurt you too much did I?” 

You didn’t even realize a tear fell from your face until he wiped it up with his cheek. This felt like deja vu, Yugyeom did the same thing for you less than two hours ago but for the same reason. You knew he meant it as if he wanted to make sure he didn’t fuck you too hard, but you were in fact in pain. 

You did hurt me, but not in the ways that you think you did. 

“Should we take this back to your place now? I miss eating that pretty pussy of yours. Then we can order some take out tonight or something. I told my wife I wouldn’t be home until late because I knew there was a chance I’d be seeing you today, so we have a good amount of time together—“

The laugh of hysterics that came from the back of your mouth confused him. You couldn’t believe how he was acting so nonchalantly. He told his wife he was going to be late because he planned on sleeping around with another woman. How could he not feel wrong about that? 

“Mark—let’s stop this.” He looked at you as if you grew another head. 

“What are you taking about y/n? Stop what? I don’t understand where this is coming from. Baby—“

“Don’t call me baby! Are you forgetting that you have one? You’re married Mark! You have a wife and a daughter waiting for you at home while you’re out here kissing another woman. Spending time with another woman—fucking another woman! Giving yourself to another woman! Do you know how hard it’s been for me these last few months pretending like nothing was wrong? Fucking you and letting you fuck me knowing that you had a family waiting for your return? Do you know how many times I’ve cried over this situation? How many times I felt disgusted with myself because of this? You’re right Mark, I am a dirty little slut. I’m a whore—a mistress—A FUCKING HOMEWRECKER and I can’t let this go on anymore. I’m sorry.” 

He let out a scoff, but you could see in his eyes that he was now feeling remorse. Whether it was towards you or to his family, you will never know but it didn’t matter anymore. Your mind was made up and there was no way you and Mark could bounce back from this. Especially because your heart was at stake and you were now wearing it on your sleeve. 

“We’ve been fooling around for months y/n and it never seemed to bother you that I have a family. If it did, you would’ve never let it happen but you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. Still want you. Fuck—I meant what I said when I told you that there’s something different about you. You excite me y/n. You’re the only source of my happiness right now. You make me feel safe, you make me feel things not even my wife makes me feel. Please don’t give up on us—tell me what I can do to make it better. I’ll do anything.” 

Leave your wife. You hated that those three words were at the back of your tongue, but it was the selfish bitch inside of you, the one who loved Mark Tuan with every fiber of her being that didn’t care about anyone but herself that wanted him to give up his family life in order to be with her. But the realist in you knew that could never happen. There was no way he’d leave his two-year-old daughter and his wife of four years for a senior in college. He wouldn’t give up everything he’s worked so hard for to be with you. No one in their right mind would do that; especially not for sex. 

“Let me go Mark. It’s what’s best for both of us.”

“Speak for yourself y/n! I can’t lose you. Why only now? Why are you acting like this now? Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

Your throat was sore from all the yelling and your chest felt dry. Your fists were tightening out of frustration and you were sure there were tears falling from your cheeks but you were too numb to feel anything. A part of you was ready to say fuck it and take him in your arms, but you couldn’t do that. You loved yourself too much to give in to him even if it’s all you wanted to do.

“Your daughter is beautiful. She’s a splitting image of you. Has your pretty brown eyes, light, curly brown hair and such a cute little smile. And your wife is gorgeous. I saw them at the grocery store the other day and seeing them, actually seeing them in the flesh rather than just pictures felt like a punch in the face. You have such a cute little family Mark. Why would you let it all go to waste for a college student you fuck on the regular?”

“Damnit y/n! When will you get it through your head? I don’t say it but I know you know you are more than just a fuck. This is way more than just sex between us and you know it! Fuck! I love you! I’m in love with you and I have been for a while now! That’s why I can’t lose you! You’re all that I want and could ever need in my life. There were so many times I came up with excuses to be home late so I could spend more time with you. You make me feel young, like a little child. All my worries and negative thoughts go away whenever I’m with you. You’re my favorite place y/n. My safe haven. You mean the entire world to me. I’ll do anything to get you to stay. Please—I’ll go insane without you.”

“I love you too Mark. More than I plan on admitting and that’s why I have to let you go.” 

His grip on your waist was tight and he pulled you against his chest in attempts to hide the tears that were falling down his cheeks from you but to no avail. You’ve only seen Mark cry twice in the last few months that you’ve known him for. Once while the two of you watched Christopher Robin and the other when your grandfather passed away. It was weird seeing him cry then, you didn’t think your tears hand any effect on him but it made you smile knowing they did. This time was much more different. It made you know that his words were sincere; that he really did love you and that he would go crazy without you. You’d probably go crazy without him too but it was what you had to do. 

“I’ll leave her. If that’s what it’ll take to make you stay, I’ll leave my wife so we could be together—“ 

You shook your head and gave him a sad smile. As amazing the thought of being with Mark sounded and knowing he was willing to leave his family to be with you made your heart flutter, you couldn’t let him do that. You wouldn’t be able to live knowing what you did. 

“Mark, please don’t. I can’t, okay? I love you, I really do and I probably always will. I’m sure I’ll regret doing this later on in life and I’ll miss you like hell—but it’s the right thing to do. What we had was amazing, but you and I both know we could never be together in the way that we want to.” 

You placed one more kiss on the corner of his mouth and you could feel him hesitating to reach out to grab you, but you knew Mark was aware that you were right. He could fight for you all he wanted, but he couldn’t fight your heart’s decisions. 

“Goodbye Mark. Take care of yourself.”

[y00ngiverse]

THE ONE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x female reader

Genre: angst, fluff, friends to lovers AU

Warnings: Toxic relationship in some way I guess? Totally SFW.

Word count: 3.4K

Summary: After a messy breakup, you realised that the one you've been looking for has been in front of you for so long.

A/N: Hi guys, so this is my first time trying to write something. There might be dialogues or references from TV shows/movies. Please show some support!!

You have been in a relationship with Hyunwoo for the past 5 years. You always thought Hyunwoo was the one, but you were wrong.

You met Hyunwoo in college, he was in the same class as you. It started with being project partners and then you found yourself staring at him occasionally. He was sweet, calm and understanding, basically everything that a girl could look for in a guy. It took you 2 years to realize and finally confess that you liked him. Luckily, he liked you too. Since then you went on small dates, it could be a fancy restaurant or a trip to an ice cream shop or even a movie date in a blanket fort, but you enjoyed every moment you spent with him, he was everything you ever wanted.This was until he was met with the addicting taste of alcohol. For quite a while, he could handle it well, but his traumatic childhood caused him to drink booze everyday. His mother used to beat him, compare him to his friends and say that he was the worst son a mother could get. You felt bad for him, you really did, you also tried everything in your power to relieve him of his trauma, but it didn't work, none of it worked. After that he became a different person. He would go to parties every night and return at around 4AM, that pissed you off. You both hardly spent time together. But you ignored it, because the next morning, he would come to you and apologize with that face of his, that face which made you fall in love with him.

You have been best friends with Taehyung since the 4th grade. He was there for you every single time that you needed him. You both got into the same college, but he took a different major. You would sometimes wonder what you did in your past life to deserve a friend like him. There were times when you had arguments, but there were no bad intentions behind them. Like the time you both had an argument because you think that mint chocolate flavoured anything tastes amazing, and Taehyung strongly disagrees with that statement even till today. There were also times when you guys would argue and not talk for a day or two. But it hasn't been once that you stayed away from each other for more than 2 days. One such argument has happened once, when you pulled a prank on Taehyung. Well lets just say, he was really upset but all it took to resolve this argument was a bucket of ice cream and an avengers movie :)

You have spent a lot of time together, but since you guys have careers now, it is hard to meet very often. But you both still talk, because none of you can even think of living without the other. You owned a clothing app. It has less customers , but you're hoping to make it bigger. Taehyung is a fashion photographer. You both have become a bit busy these days, but Taehyung isn't gonna leave your side so easily and neither will you.

He never liked Hyunwoo. The first time they met, all that Taehyung did was roll his eyes, discreetly of course, But you noticed. You loved Hyunwoo and you decided that you would convince Taehyung that Hyunwoo loved you too and that he's a great guy. Taehyung didn't think that he was a bad guy, he was just a bad guy in his life, because he had feelings for you.

And it hurt, it hurt everytime you would come and tell Taehyung how Hyunwoo caused butterflies in your stomach for the millionth time. But he couldn't do anything because he didn't want to take away your happiness.

FLASHBACK

"Hey Y/N, would you like to go out with me again?" Hyunwoo asked, emphasizing on the word 'again', since you had a study date last weekend. "I would love to! Say, Saturday?" You replied with the widest smile of yours. "Sure! See ya!" He said and you walked away while waving at him, all the while internally screaming.

As you went out, you saw Taehyung sitting on a bench just outside your university. You ran to him, grinning like a maniac. Nothing could take away your happiness at this moment. You felt like the happiest person.

"Oh! hey Y/N" he said with his boxy smile. "Hi!" You said. "I needed to tell you something." Taehyung said, his smile glued to his face. "Oh my god wait, listen to me first, do you know what happend!?" You almost said screaming, almost. Taehyung smiled, "No I don't, but thanks to you, I will now." He chuckled.

"So! Hyunwoo asked me out again!! He's so sweet, I think I like him, a lot." You said with dreamy eyes. Taehyung's heart dropped to his stomach. He was gonna tell you that after all these years, he had started liking you. When you first told him about the study date you and Hyunwoo had, he never thought it would turn into something serious. But a second date….

His smile faded, but the corners of his lips turned upwards again, as if on reflex, because if you were happy, he was too. Of course it was more of a sad smile. "I'm so happy for you! Go get him Y/N!" He said as you chuckled. "Anyways what did you wanna tell me?"

That I like you. "Oh nothing! I just found this new ice cream shop! We should go there!" He said, all the while thinking, if only you knew Y/N.

"Yeah sure! We can go on Sunday maybe!" You replied and he nodded. He knew. He knew that

It was too late…

END OF FLASHBACK

When you started telling him about the fact that Hyunwoo probably had an alcohol addiction, He knew something was wrong. He could feel it, he tried warning you, but you always replied with "No, Hyunwoo's a great guy, he wouldn't do anything wrong."

Right?

You loved Hyunwoo, but that didn't mean you were going to trust him over Taehyung.

So when Taehyung said that you should be careful, you were cautious, looking out for any red flags.

Present

1:42AM

The clock read. This was normal for you now, you were used to waiting for Hyunwoo. The keys jingled, you were surprised. It's too early for Hyunwoo to be here. That's odd. Hyunwoo entered and closed the door behind him, you could smell the strong scent of the alcohol. He faced you now. "I love you Y/N." You furrowed your brows once you saw his teary eyes, his messy hair, his messed up clothes. But the thing you saw next was the biggest shock of your life, your eyes widened once you saw the purple marks on his neck. Hickeys. "No.." Your eyes started tearing up. It has to be a misunderstanding, you thought. " I really love you Y/N, I'm sorry I'm so sorry!" He sobbed. You just couldn't believe it. He cheated on you.

"Hyunwoo, I-"

"Listen to me babe, I'm sorry I didn't mean to, the girl, I thought it was you, she was wearing the same dress as you." He said and you noticed his eyes looking groggy. Just as he finished his sentence, he fainted, due to the alcohol, but you held him just in time and put him on the couch.You were still shocked, you couldn't move, your feet glued to the ground. Your heart was thumping at a rapid rate in your chest, you could hear the blood rushing through your veins. You decided to talk to him about this the next morning. You ran to your room, shut the door, and fell on the ground. This has to be a nightmare, it has to be...

You thought. You couldn't control all the pain anymore, so you let it all out. You cried and you cried, louder and louder, not caring about Hyunwoo waking up, but he didn't, he was passed out, completely drunk.

Millions of thoughts crossed your mind. All the memories you both spent together flashing in front of your eyes. You thought if you should forgive him or not. He was drunk, it's just a mistake. Right? A part of you thought. But the greater part of you knew, that you couldn't forgive him. You couldn't live like this, him partying all night while you're at home making plans with him which will never take place. You really wanted to help him with this problem, you really did, but nothing was working. He was addicted and you couldn't do anything anymore. You both rarely were together now. It was sickening. The thought of breaking off this relationship, that lasted for 5 years, it was sickening. It made you cry all over again. You couldn't sleep that night, you couldn't sleep knowing what you'd have to face the next morning. So you packed your bags, ready to leave.

The next morning

You woke up, not realising that you had fallen asleep. You still couldn't believe it, you were hoping that all of last night was just a bad dream, but looking at the bags that you had packed told you otherwise. You didn't want to do this. You loved Hyunwoo, you really did, but what he did couldn't be forgiven. You went to take a bath and went out after getting dressed up. You saw Hyunwoo sitting on the couch, rubbing his temples. You couldn't bear the sight of him after his disgusting actions, so you started tearing up again. No, you can't cry in front of him. You thought. As he saw you coming, he got up. "Y/N, I'm so sorry i-" you cut him off and raised your palm signalling him to stop. "I know Hyunwoo, you didn't mean to, you thought the girl was me, but what's done is done. You cheated on me Hyunwoo."

You said, eyes glassy with tears. His eyes softened, realising what he had done to you. He broke you. He could see it in your eyes. He really loved you, but he knew that what he did was wrong. As he saw your suitcases, his eyebrows furrowed. "You- you're leaving?" He asked, his voice breaking. "Do you expect me to stay, after all this you expect me to stay?" You answered, anger visible in your eyes. He looked down to his feet, he couldn't expect you to stay, he had no right, but it's not wrong to have hope."I loved you Hyunwoo, I still do, but apparently that wasn't enough to make you stay." You said, tears now falling. "I'm sorry.." he said, after all he couldn't say anything else. You started walking away. Just as you reached the door, "Can I kiss you, for the last time?" He asked, his voice heavy with tears. You wanted to, you wanted to kiss him one last time. "No Hyunwoo, I can't, not after knowing that those lips have kissed someone else." You said, voice breaking. "I-i understand." He said. "Goodbye Hyunwoo." "Goodbye Y/N, I'm so sorry." You nodded, him being able to see just the back of your head. And you left, you walked out of his life just because of his one mistake. You left.

Since you had nowhere to go, you went to Taehyung, he was your only support, your last light of hope right now. You knocked on the door. He opened the door, his eyes widening. "Y/N?" He could see the bags under your eyes, your stained cheeks. He knew something was wrong. "Why did you bring your suitcases?" He asked. You didn't answer. You walked up to the couch and sat there, saying nothing. He bought your bags inside, closed the door and came to sit beside you. At the moment, you felt numb. You were speechless, it was too much to take in. You hugged him tight and you cried as loud as you could in his arms. Then the realisation hit him. "What did he do?" He said through gritted teeth. He couldn't see you like this, he couldn't see you broken like this. You didn't say anything, you were still crying. He caressed your hair, letting you cry as much as you wanted to. "It hurts Taehyung, it hurts, plea- please make it stop, it hurts!" You cried out. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks, you shouldn't be going through this, he wished it would've been him instead. After what felt like an eternity, you stopped crying, and he gave you a glass of water. You couldn't even gulp it down, everything made you nauseous. You told him everything. After listening to you, All he could think of was to ruin the pretty face of that jerk. "It's gonna be okay, I'm here for you, everything will be alright." He took you in his warm embrace again.

Few months later

All these days, Taehyung has taken care of you, handling you like a delicate doll which could break anytime. For a while, everything made you think of Hyunwoo. It hurt so much. He hurt you deeply. You had gotten over Hyunwoo, but just a little. You couldn't get over him so quickly, after all you lived with him for 5 years. It was sickening. Taehyung did everything he could to make you feel better. He even called your other friends; Jimin, Jungkook, Jin, Namjoon, Hoseok and Yoongi. They stayed over for many nights. You had sleepovers with pizza, ice cream and classic movies. Getting over Hyunwoo was going to be tough, everyone knew that, they loved you and hence, they did whatever they could. It was better now. Your friends were by your side every moment, and it made you feel better. You had these amazing people as part of your life and it made you happier. You had almost gotten over Hyunwoo, almost.

2 years later

After these years, your clothing app has become much more famous. Taehyung's career has grown much more too. He has been getting offers to photograph for the biggest brands. You both still live in the same apartment. You have gotten over Hyunwoo. It has been long, and you don't even think about him anymore. But since these past few days, you've been feeling different around Taehyung. It's a feeling similar to the one you felt around Hyunwoo. Everytime you see him, you feel butterflies in your stomach, and your cheeks get heated up. Is it possible that you like him? No, stupid Y/N, you're probably just sick, hahaha. Before going to sleep, he's the only thing on your mind. You go to sleep with a smile on your face just because of the thought of him. That definitely means you like him, maybe even love him. You're screwed.

And as for Taehyung, he still likes you and he thinks it's safe to say that he loves you now.

Present

"Hey Y/N, should we go to the beach tonight? We can watch the stars, we haven't done that in so long!" Taehyung asked, excited just by the thought of spending more time with you. "Yeah sure, but before that can we have dinner in that cafe nearby!?" You asked, more excited than him. "YES!" he replied a bit too enthusiastically. You both chuckled.

Before Taehyung came back from his shoot for the day, you started getting ready. You were making a mess of your closet and your bed right now. "I have nothing to wear!" You whined and lay down on the bed. Ooh, I could wear the dress Taehyung gifted me! You thought and you rushed to remove the burgundy coloured fit and flare dress that he gifted you and paired it up with white sneakers. You also wore the matching bracelets you both had and you left your hair open. You put on a simple make up look, not trying to look extra and you put on your favourite perfume. "I haven't looked this good in a while, muah!" You said to yourself in the mirror and giggled. You have decided, you will tell Taehyung that you have feelings for him today. You can do it.

You heard the door of the apartment opening, Taehyung came back from the shoot. "Y/N! I'm home!" He said.

You replied from your bedroom "Yeah okay! You can freshen up and get ready!".

"Sure thing!" He rushed to his bedroom and removed his best outfit. He decided to wear his black and white hoodie along with his jeans and a pair of sneakers. He never removed your guys' friendship bracelet, so he was also wearing that.

Taehyung got ready and called you down. "I'm coming!" You came down the stairs and he stood with his mouth agape. "Wow, you look- beautiful Y/N!" he said. For the first time in a while, you looked and felt alive, you looked happy. You both got into his car and drove to the cafe. After having dinner, you are now laying on a blanket that you placed onto the cold sand, the cold being felt through the blanket. For some reason, he looks more attractive than usual today and it isn't going too good for you. All that was being heard were the waves crashing onto the land and the sound of the birds. After a while you've finally decided to speak up. You got up and sat, Taehyung's eyes following your movements. "I-i need to say something." You said while fiddling with your fingers. Taehyung sat up, facing you. "Mhm, go ahead." He said. He was wondering what was making you so nervous. "So. Taehyung, we've been friends for decades. You've been there for me when no one else was. You've always supported me, you've helped me stand up for myself and it's because of you that I could pursue my passion today. You were the one who convinced my parents for letting me do the things that I love. Even after my breakup, you've taken care of me for a long time and I truly appreciate that. After all these years, I've realized that the one who I have been looking for has been in front of me for so long and I just couldn't see it. I'm sure of this because whenever I see you I feel butterflies in my stomach and I feel safe with you, I feel secured in your arms and I feel happy whenever I'm with you. Kim Taehyung, I love you." You finished with a sigh and you looked up seeing a shocked Taehyung. His mouth is wide open and he is very surprised. Did you screw this up? "Tae, will you say something?" You asked, moving your hands in front of his face. He coughed, coming back to his senses. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear this from you Y/N. I can't believe it, you love me? I've been in love with you since 7 years. I've been waiting for you Y/N, because I love you too much to let you go. I love every single thing about you. To me, you are perfect. Y/L/N Y/N, I love you too."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!?" You asked, you were really happy at this moment. "Because that guy asked you out on a second date on the day I was gonna confess." He said, referring to Hyunwoo, with his signature boxy smile. You squealed and hugged him tightly. It felt so safe, so good to be in his warm embrace. "I wish we could be like this forever." You said. "I promise you, we will." He replied. You could feel his heartbeat. You pulled away from the hug and looked up at him. You saw his eyes flickering from your eyes and down to your lips. You pecked him on the lips and quickly pulled away, giggling, feeling the heat rushing to your cheeks. He pulled you back into the kiss, you could feel him smiling into the kiss. You had been waiting for this, and you immediately melted into the kiss. It was a passionate yet sweet and gentle kiss. You pulled back,

"I love you Tae, and I will, forever." You said.

"I love you too Y/N, and I will never let you go" He said and he pulled you back into his warm once embrace again.

You were sure of it. He is the one you've been looking for.

A/N: Hey guys, this was my first and last oneshot and I hope y'all liked it. Feel free to give your honest opinions in the comments. Give me your suggestions and I will truly appreciate that.

[dancingkirby]

In which Azula learns to not judge a book by its cover

WARNING: Discussion of past rape.

To the surprise of both his parents, rather than moving back to the palace full-time after graduating from Capital University three years ago, Kazuo had elected to rent his own apartment in the Caldera.  A “bachelor’s pad,” Azula was pretty sure it was called in modern slang. Kazuo had said that this was because he’d wanted to take a stab at independent living, but Azula suspected that the real reason was so he could have a place to entertain various lady friends in private.  Azula didn’t care to think about that too much, and decided that as long as her son was diligently using protection and keeping everything consensual, she would keep quiet on the subject.  Besides, he wasn’t so caught up in his liaisons that he was neglecting his duties as a member of the Royal Family.  He showed up for every required event, and had inherited Azula’s knack for public appearances.

Last year, Kazuo had gotten into his first serious romantic relationship, and had taken the young lady to meet Azula and Tom-Tom.  Azula had initially been excited about her son finally thinking about settling down, but the meeting had not exactly gone well.  Kazuo’s girlfriend, who was named Kumi, had completely defied royal protocol and run up to shake Azula’s hand, even having the audacity to address her by her given name without so much as a “Princess” before it!  The young lady had then spent the entire encounter bragging about her accomplishments so that neither Azula nor Tom-Tom could get a word in edgewise.  Azula had made her displeasure known by giving Kumi death glares at every opportunity, yet this did nothing to curtail the woman.  Tom-Tom, of course, had been as unerringly polite as he always was. However, when Kumi finally left, he admitted that even he hadn’t cared for her much.  Neither of them was surprised when it turned out that Kumi had been in it simply for the status.  

Azula had been relieved when that was over.  On the other hand, poor Kazuo was heartbroken.  Then, this spring, a devastating earthquake had hit Shuhon, destroying most of the island’s natural gas deposits and killing tens of thousands of people.  It was the worst natural disaster to hit a home island in living memory.  Her son volunteered to take an extended trip there to help with the rebuilding process once the air was deemed safe to breathe, and Azula had thought it was probably for the best.  She’d hoped that the hard work would take his mind off his anguish.

What she hadn’t anticipated was that within weeks, Kazuo would write home that he’d met a girl in Shuhon and was going out with her.  And now, six months later, he was bringing her home with him.

Tonight was the big night, of both their reunion with Kazuo and introduction to his girlfriend…and they were late.  At this rate, the food would get here before her son would.  Azula began to worry that Kazuo had crashed his…what was it called again? Satomobile, that’s right.  Some young upstart in Republic City had started manufacturing them a couple of years ago, and now everyone in the Caldera wanted one.  Everyone except Azula, that is.  Those vehicles went entirely too fast for her liking.  

Just as Tom-Tom was attempting to talk Azula out of sending servants to look for the pair, there was a knock on the door.  Azula bid the person to come in, and felt enormously relieved as her beaming son ran straight past the servant announcing his arrival and into his parents’ arms.  

“Mom!  Dad!  I missed you both so much!” Kazuo exclaimed.  “Sorry we’re late…traffic was horrible.”  When they broke from their embrace, Azula appraised him with her sternest maternal gaze.  

“You have been gone entirely too long.  Your skin is all brown; did it never occur to you to wear a hat?” she demanded.  But she couldn’t keep the act up for long. Within seconds, she had cracked a smile, hugging Kazuo again.  

Tom-Tom cleared his throat.  

“Son, I believe you said that you wanted to introduce us to someone?” he prompted.  Azula finally got a glimpse at the young woman hanging back in a doorway, who fell into a kowtow as soon as she saw that Azula was looking at her.  Well, that was one point in her favor already.  

“You may rise,” Azula told her.  When the girl stood and walked into the room, Azula finally looked her over properly. She was quite tall and a little gangling.  However, seeing as how Kazuo had attained a height of 6’3’’ (just like his grandfather), it didn’t look as awkward as it might have.  Although her face was nothing memorable, her hair was glossy and reached down to her mid-back.  She was attired in a pretty yet modest outfit of a pink tunic and a matching set of red jacket and pants.  

“Mother, Father, this is Lady Botan,” Kazuo said.  

The girl was shaking like a leaf, but managed to get out, “P-princess Azula.  Prince Tom-Tom.  It is an honor to meet you.”

“And it is a delight to meet you too, Lady Botan,” Tom-Tom assured her.  This, combined with Kazuo placing a protective hand on her shoulder, made Botan look slightly more relaxed.  

“Yes, well, dinner will be ready shortly,” Azula added.  Then, at another knock on the door, “I stand corrected.  Dinner is ready now.”

The four of them sat at the table as the servants arranged the first course.  Azula gazed intently at Botan over her bowl of wontons in clear broth.  She was perfectly aware of how intimidating her appearance could be to those who weren’t close to her.  Although she would be sixty next month, she could pull off her trademark eyeliner and bright red lipstick as well as ever.  Plus, as this girl’s potential mother-in-law, was it not expected of her to be overbearing?  Her standards were exacting; none but the best would do for her only son.  

“So,” she began, “How did you come to meet Prince Kazuo?”

Botan jumped a little in her seat at being so abruptly addressed, and began, “Shuhon is my home island, Princess.  My dad, my sister, my brothers, and I were all contributing in any way we could.  We were lucky that our house escaped the worst of the damages…but anyway.  The first day I arrived there from Capital Island, I was carrying some heavy crates of medical supplies.   They slipped, and I would have dropped them all if Kazuo hadn’t run up just then to help!  And then we started talking, and something just…clicked.  He said his name was Kazuo, and I was like, ‘Oh, like the prince?’ and he was like ‘Uh…yeah.’  He didn’t end up actually telling me who he was until after our fourth date! Can you believe that?”

She gave a very annoying high-pitched laugh.  

“I see,” Azula responded.  She daintily picked up a wonton from her bowl with her chopsticks and popped it in her mouth, her eyes never leaving Botan’s.  Once she had swallowed her food, she continued, “My son called you Lady Botan.  That means you are a member of the nobility.  How could you possibly not have known who he was?”

“Azula…” Tom-Tom said softly.  However, his pleasant smile never left his face.  

“I don’t believe we have ever seen you at court, Lady Botan,” he said in an attempt to soften Azula’s words.  

“No, my mom was the one who was noble,” Botan explained.  “She was an only child and inherited the estate.  But she died when I was four, from cancer.  My dad’s just a silk merchant, and he didn’t see a reason to live at the Caldera after that.”

“Ah, yes, I remember hearing about that now,” Tom-Tom replied.  “Lady Ayako, wasn’t it?  I think I met her once or twice.  I offer my condolences for your loss.”

“Thank you,” Botan said.  “But it’s okay.  I hardly remember her, so I’m just kind of used to it now, you know?” Another nervous giggle escaped her.

Their conversation had to be suspended at that moment, since the servants were clearing away their soup bowls; Azula noted that Botan had scarcely touched hers.  Then, two beautiful roast ducks were presented for their main course, skin sizzling and deep golden-brown.  They were accompanied by a sweet and spicy sauce, along with sides of rice, scallion pancakes, and mixed vegetables.  

“You’re in for a treat, Botan!” Kazuo said while grinning.  “They make the best roast duck here in the palace.  It was one of the things I missed the most when I was in Shuhon.”

Botan smiled back at him, although it looked a little strained.  

For a few minutes, they ate in silence.  However, Azula wasn’t quite done with her interrogation yet.  

“Prince Kazuo informed me that you are a recent graduate of Capital University,” she said.   “What was your major?”

“Psychology and sociology, Princess.  Double major,” Botan said.  At least that was a hopeful sign.  Perhaps this young lady wasn’t as unintelligent as she appeared.  

“Then you must have made the acquaintance of my friend Ty Lee,” Azula stated.

Botan nodded eagerly, seemingly relieved that they’d found some common ground.  “Yes.  She taught my Trauma Psych class.   She…well, it could be a difficult class at times, but it was always interesting.”

Azula raised an eyebrow, feeling annoyed for reasons she didn’t fully understand.  “Why ‘difficult?’  Is my friend too strict of a teacher for your liking?  Or are you simply averse to a little hard work?”

She heard intakes of breath from both her husband and son.  Botan’s face flooded with color.  “No, no, she was a great teacher!  Really nice.  It’s just…it was difficult for another reason…”  Her gaze darted frantically over to Kazuo.  He squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear, and she nodded.  

“We’re going to go take a walk,” he stated, glowering in Azula’s direction.  Before she could protest, Tom-Tom said, “Yes, that’s fine. I think it would be best for all of us.”

As soon as the younger two had left the room, Azula’s husband turned to her.  

“Azula, we have been married for twenty-seven years, and I love you more than anything.  You know that,” he said.  “Nevertheless, you went too far this time.  I thought that Botan was a perfectly nice young lady, and was trying her best.  You should consider apologizing to her when she returns.  I will certainly do so myself for not doing more to intervene.” His voice was as level as always, but it had a hint of underlying steel that Azula had only heard a handful of times during their marriage.  It meant that this was one of the rare occasions that Tom-Tom was genuinely angry at her.  And if something was sufficient to piss him off, then she knew it was serious.

“I didn’t think I was that…” Azula began somewhat lamely, only to cut herself off when she heard muffled sobs coming from down the hallway.  It was clear that Tom-Tom heard it too.

“…Right.  I’ll go apologize to her now,” she sighed in resignation as she got up from the table.

When she opened the door to their apartment, she heard Botan wailing, “She hated me! A..and I can’t blame her because I sounded like an idiot!”

Kazuo took her into his arms.  “Aw, no, sweetie, you did just fine.  Mom can be…difficult.  But I’m going to talk to her later tonight, and I think Dad already did.”

Azula waited in the shadows for a while, until Botan’s tears faded, and her mind wandered back to the day almost twenty-nine years ago when Tom-Tom had comforted her in much the same way.  It appeared that her son had turned out to be as good a man as his father.  

Finally, she cleared her throat, and both Kazuo and Botan’s head shot up.  

“If you wanted to say something to me, you might as well do it now,” she said.

Kazuo frowned. “I don’t think this is a good time, Mom…”

“No.”  Botan stepped out of Kazuo’s embrace.  “I…I want to tell her.  Alone.”

“Wow.  Are you sure?  That’s…I know that would be difficult for you, especially since this is just your first time meeting her.” Kazuo touched her shoulder again.  Botan looked down and took a deep breath.

“…Yes,” she finally said.

“Might I suggest doing this in my study instead of in the hallway?  The palace servants are quite proficient at making themselves almost invisible in order to eavesdrop,” Azula pointed out.  

“Good idea,” Kazuo admitted.  Then, to Botan, “One last time…are you really sure?  I don’t want you to feel pressured to do it if you’re not ready.”

The younger woman squared her shoulders.  “I’m ready.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now,” Azula said, once they were both situated in comfortable upholstered chairs and free from any listening ears, “What was it you wanted to tell me?  I give you permission to speak freely.”

She was expecting for Botan to yell at her, to fling all sorts of insults.  What she actually said was somewhat surprising.

“I’d been wanting to meet you for so long, before I ever knew Kazuo,” she began. “You’re...you’re my hero. All that work you’ve done to raise awareness for sexual abuse, all the charities you run…and I read the book you co-wrote with Professor Ty Lee.  It was so comforting to me after…”

She broke off; tears were running down her face again.  Azula wordlessly gave her a handkerchief from the stack on her desk. Even though her own crying spells occurred nowhere nearly as frequently as they had in her youth, they still had the nasty tendency to blindside her every now and then.

Once Botan had gotten this latest burst of emotion under control, the words poured out of her like water from a burst dam.  She said, “I was nineteen.  A man who I had seen as one of my closest friends put something in my drink when we were at a party, and then he took me to his dorm room and…and raped me.  And everyone thought I was lying about it because he was so popular!  I tried to go to the campus police, and they wouldn’t press charges because they didn’t think there was enough evidence. All they said was that I shouldn’t have looked away from my drink.  I was so discouraged that I kept it from most of my family; didn’t even tell Kazuo until about a month ago…”

“And yet you told me, even after I upset you,” Azula pointed out.

“Yeah,” Botan acknowledged.  More scrubbing at her eyes, and she continued, “I know it seems weird.  But I thought if anyone would understand, you would. Your book helped me get through that. I kept telling myself that you had it so much worse than me, since I was an adult when it happened, and not…I mean, I’d had boyfriends before, and I couldn’t even remember much of it, and he wasn’t my dad, and I didn’t…didn’t…”

“Didn’t get pregnant?” Azula guessed.

“…yeah.”

“I see.”  She took a moment to figure out exactly how she wanted to say this.

“Trauma isn’t a competition,” she finally said as she rose from her chair and walked closer to Botan. “Just because yours was different from mine, doesn’t mean it wasn’t as real.  And…I apologize for my behavior, as difficult as it is for me to say that. You shouldn’t have had to feel compelled to share something so personal just to seek my approval.  At the same time, I am glad that my life’s work meant something to you.  My goal was that no abuse survivor should feel as alone as I did, or my father’s other prey did.  It appears as though there is still much work for me to do, though.  Perhaps my charities need a younger spokesperson who is more in touch with the times.  Someone like you…if you find that arrangement pleasing.”

Botan was struck speechless for a few moments.  Then, she breathed, “Of course I would, Princess. It would be such a great honor, and my dream job.  I just hope I can be worthy of it.”

“If you are seeking to become a part of the royal family, you’ll have to find some cause to champion,” Azula remarked.  “My brother is all about public service.  Now let us finish our dinner, shall we?  There is plum ice cream for dessert, which we won’t want to miss.”

“Sounds good,” Botan replied.

“It is Kazuo’s favorite flavor.  If you intend to marry my son, it would be wise of you to memorize all of his preferred foods, don’t you think?”

Perhaps she had found that perfect mate for her son that she

[completelyuncreative2]

I don’t want the Moon

Dan has graduated from NYU and needs to find a place to live in New York with very little money. Cue a cute coffee shop barista who happens to have exactly what Dan needs. This was written for the Phandom Reverse Bang. Thank you to my amazing beta, Tasha @yourfreindlyblogstalker. Check out the artwork by @candanandphilnot here.

Read on AO3

Dan walked into a coffee shop he had never heard of before. He normally went to Starbucks, but a friend had recommended this place. So, Dan figured he would try it. He looked around. The place looked like all the pretentious coffee shops he saw on instagram, he didn’t know what else he expected, most of his friends were pretentious. That’s what he gets for being a drama major at one of the most prestigious arts universities in the world, NYU. Dan walked up to the man behind the counter. He was about Dan’s height with pale skin and jet black hair.

“What would you like?” the man asked.

“Black coffee,” Dan said.

The man raised an eyebrow, obviously surprised by the simple order. Dan figured this was probably the kind of place where people ordered their coffee down to the degree it should be served. “Coming right up,” he said.

Dan sat down at a table toward the back and took out his phone. It was late afternoon, so there weren’t many people there. According to the sign posted in the window, the place was closing in about fifteen minutes.

The man gave Dan his coffee in a to-go cup, then he started cleaning the store.

“I can go, if I’m in the way,” Dan said.

“It’s alright. It’s nice having company. No one usually comes in at this time.”

Dan nodded, and the man continued wiping down the counters and tables then started singing along to the music playing on the radio. Dan tried to hold back the laugh trying to escape from his throat, but he couldn’t. 

The man snapped back to reality. “Sorry,” he said. 

Dan noticed that a blush had spread across the man’s face. “Don’t be.”

“Like I said, people usually aren’t here now.”

“So, you forgot I was here.”

“Not possible.”

Dan raised his eyebrows at the man, and the man must have just processed what he had said.

“I should probably go,” Dan said, starting to stand up, “Let you get back to work.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Dan sat back down. Another song came on. Dan recognized it, Time is Running Out by Muse, and started bopping along to it.

“You like this song?” the man asked.

“Yeah, Muse is one of my favorite bands.”

“Mine too. My name is Phil, by the way.”

“Dan.”

“Nice to meet you Dan.” Phil was just about done cleaning the store. He still needed to wipe down the table Dan was sitting at, and probably mop the floor, but he couldn’t do either of those things while Dan was still there.

“Nice to meet you too. I’m going to go now and let you finish closing.”

Phil looked disappointed. “Maybe I’ll see you again.”

Dan nodded. He didn’t want to commit to anything. This wasn’t really his kind of place, but he did want to see Phil again. Dan left the coffee shop and headed back to his apartment.

His apartment was actually his parents’ apartment. Although it may as well have been his, since his parents were rarely there. Except for today. When Dan walked through the door, he saw both of them at the kitchen table, and his mother must have cooked because there was pot roast on the stove and three plates on the table.

“Hi,” Dan said.

“Hello,” his Dad said.

“Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine,” his mom said, “sit down, Daniel. We need to have a chat.”

Dan sat.

“Daniel,” his dad said, “your mother and I have been talking, and we think it’s time for you to start looking for your own place.”

“What?”

“Well, you’ve finished university now. You’re an adult. You can’t live with us forever.”

“I know, but where am I supposed to go? I can’t afford to live on my own.”

“You have some money saved, you’re working, and your dad and I can help out a little at least for a month or two,” his mom continues.

Dan didn’t know what to say, not that it mattered, he realized the conversation was over when his mother got up and started serving dinner.

After dinner, Dan went up to his room and spent the better part of the night on the computer looking up apartments online. None of them were in his price range.

The next morning, well, afternoon, Dan found himself in front of Phil’s coffee shop. That wasn’t the name of it, but it’s how Dan had started thinking of it. 

The coffee shop was relatively empty. There were a few people as far away from the door as possible. Dan thought they must be aspiring screenwriters because their heads were buried in their laptops. He walked up to the counter and was about to order a black coffee, when Phil asked him what was wrong. Dan was trying to hide how upset he was. He used to think he was good at hiding his emotions, but obviously he wasn’t since this practically stranger could see through him. Dan was about to say “nothing,” but he ended up blabbing to Phil about the entire conversation he and his parents had the night before. Phil listened patiently. 

After Dan had finished, Phil said, “Do you want to come over? My shift is over. I have to wait for my cover to get here, but once she does we can go.” Against Dan’s better judgment, he agreed. A smile spread across Phil’s face, “Great.” 

Right on cue, a girl walked up behind Phil. She had clearly come from the staff entrance. Phil greeted the girl, then said “I’m just going to make something and then I’ll get out of your way.” The girl nodded. Dan stood off to the side near the door while he waited for Phil. A few minutes later, Phil came out from behind the counter. He had taken his apron off and he was holding two to-go cups. He held one out to Dan. “Caramel Macchiato. On me.”

“Thanks,” Dan said. Phil nodded and then they left.

When Dan and Phil got to Phil’s apartment, Dan couldn’t believe it. Phil lived in a two-bedroom apartment on the upper west side. Just the living room was at least the size of his parents’ whole apartment. “Make yourself at home,” Phil said. Dan sat on the couch and noticed Phil’s entertainment system. He had a wall-mounted, flat-screen TV along with several video game consoles on the table underneath, and stacks of video games on either side.

“I never want to leave this place,” Dan joked.

“You don’t have to.” Phil said, sitting down next to him. He wasn’t joking.

“What?” Dan said.

“Stay here. With me.”

“I can’t afford this place.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it? I can’t just stay here and not pay rent.”

“I don’t pay rent here either. My parents bought it for me.”

“So, I can just stay here? For free?”

“If you want to.”

“Of course I want to, but…”

“But…”

“Well, what’s in it for you?”

“What would be in it for me?”

“I don’t know, but you don’t pay rent, so you don’t want a roommate for money. So, why do you?”

Phil took a deep breath. “Company.” The simple answer caught Dan off guard. Phil continued, “I never had a real friend before, at least not since I was a kid. I was getting to the point where I was about to put an ad up on Craigslist.” Despite his best efforts, Dan couldn’t hold back the chuckle that escaped from his throat. Phil rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when you came into the shop, I really wanted to be friends with you, but I could tell it wasn’t your kind of place…”

“How?”

“I could tell you were hesitant when I asked if I would see you again. So, when I saw you today, I didn’t want to lose the chance again.”

Dan took all of this in. “But, why me? We don’t even know each other.”

“I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character, and I know we have the same tastes in music and coffee. Which are the only two things I really care about.”

Dan laughed. “And video games.”

“Do you want to play?”

“Always.”

“What game?”

Dan ran his eyes over Phil’s collection. “Mario Kart.”

Phil set it up, and they spent the rest of the afternoon playing. Dan won more often than not. Around 8pm, Dan said he should probably get going.

“When will I see you again?”

“Are you working tomorrow?” Phil shook his head. “So, when can I move in?”

Phil’s face lit up. “Seriously? You want to?”

“Yeah. I mean I need to let my parents know first, but since they want me to move out anyway, I don’t think it will be an issue.”

Phil jumped up and hugged him, nearly toppling both of them over. Dan grabbed onto Phil’s shoulders to steady himself. “I’ll see you soon.” He was about to walk out the door when Phil stopped him. “What?”

“We don’t have each other’s numbers.” Dan took out his phone and handed it to Phil. Phil put his number in Dan’s phone. “Text me, so I have yours as well.”

Dan nodded and texted Phil. Phil’s phone buzzed. “I’ll see you soon,” Dan said. Then he left.

When Dan got home, his parents were watching TV in the living room. “Hi,” he called.

“Hello,” his mom said.

“How’s apartment hunting going?” his dad asked.

“Good, I think I found a place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah”

“Where?”

“Upper West Side”

Dan’s parents looked at each other. “Who’s paying for that?” Mr. Howell asked.

“A friend.”

“Since when do you have friends who live on the upper west side?”

“Since when do you know any of my friends?” Dan shot back.

“Daniel! Show some respect.”

“Can’t handle the truth? You haven’t given a shit about me for as long as I can remember. As soon as I was able to take care of myself, you expected me to be an adult.

“That’s not true, Dan.” his mom said.

“Really? So, why did I have to get a job when I was fourteen? Why have I always been home alone after school since I was seven? Why are you insisting that I move out of a place that you’re hardly ever in?” When Dan finished, he ran up to his room and slammed the door, leaving his parents in the living room dumbfounded. He knew he was being childish, but he also knew that if he kept going, he was going to cry, and he was not about to give his father the satisfaction of seeing that. When Dan regained his composure, he texted Phil.

Dan: Can I move in tomorrow?

Phil: Sure, but are you going to be able to pack everything by then?

Dan: Do you want to help? ;)

Phil: Of course! What time?

Dan: 11

That was enough time that he would be awake and his parents wouldn’t be home.

Phil: See you then :)

Dan smiled to himself and texted Phil his address.

The next morning, Dan woke up to an empty house as expected. His parents typically left for work around 7, and it was already 10. Dan got up and got himself some breakfast before brushing his teeth and taking a shower. By the time he was done it was a quarter to 11. Phil would be there any minute. At five to 11, Dan heard a knock at the door. He opened it and saw Phil standing on the other side. He was holding a bunch of flat cardboard boxes.

“Hi,” Phil said.

“Hi,” Dan said, stepping back so Phil could walk through. “You brought your own boxes?”

“I figured you didn’t have since this was so last minute.”

Dan felt his face heat up. He couldn’t believe how well Phil knew him already.

Phil looked around the apartment, and Dan was suddenly conscious about how small the apartment was compared to Phil’s. “Do you want anything? Coffee? Water?”

“I’m fine, thanks. Should we get started?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Dan said, heading towards his bedroom. It only took them a couple of hours to pack everything. Dan didn’t have that much stuff, and he figured he could leave his video games since Phil had all the same ones and more. Dan had gotten a couple of suitcases and threw his clothes and sheets in them. They had packed everything in Phil’s car and were standing on the sidewalk in front of Phil’s car. Dan was seriously considering just leaving and not telling his parents, but then Phil asked if his parents knew he was leaving. Dan considered lying and saying yes, but he knew Phil would be able to see right through him. He shook his head.

“Dan! You have to tell them!”

“Why? It will probably take them at least a week to even notice I’m gone.”

“That can’t be true.”

“It is.”

“Dan. Tell them.”

“Fine.” Dan pulled out his phone and texted his parents that he was moving out. He wanted to send a snarky comment along with it, but he knew Phil was reading the text over his shoulder. “Sent.” Dan said. Phil nodded, and they got in his car and drove to his apartment.

After only a few days, Phil’s apartment, well now his apartment, felt more like home then his parents’ place ever did to him. Especially since Dan didn’t have to worry about rent. He spent some of his time searching for auditions, usually when Phil was working at the coffee shop. The rest of the time he just ate, slept, and played video games. It was exactly how he thought adult life would be when he was a child. He never expected it to actually happen though. Phil got home from the coffee shop a few hours later. He was holding a box. “What’s that?” Dan asked.

“A present.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes I do.”

Dan opened the box and saw a Cartier watch. “Phil, I can’t accept this.”

“Of course you can.”

“Why would you do this for me?”

Instead of answering, Phil leaned in and kissed Dan. The kiss caught Dan off guard at first, but after a few seconds, he was kissing Phil back. “That’s why”

“Phil! You don’t have to buy me expensive watches for me to kiss you!”

“I want to.”

A smile spread across Dan’s face. “Come here.” Phil was already right in front of him, so he took a step closer to Dan. Dan kissed Phil harder than before.

“Wow,” Phil said after Dan had pulled away.

“You don’t need to buy me anything for me to kiss you.”

“Ok.”

“What’s wrong?”

Phil sighed. “It’s just that with every relationship I’ve been in, the person always expected stuff, you know? Someone finds out that money is no object and then they expect you to buy them the moon.”

“I don’t want the moon, Phil. Just you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[spongeekat]

Life as a Super Powered Omega Sucks (Chapter 1)

read on ao3

Masterlist Here

Summary:  Peter just got invited on his first lengthy Avengers mission, one that will prove whether he's fit to continue operating as a hero on the streets of New York. Unfortunately, he's also an omega disguised as a beta, and on the week of starting his heat. Unable to miss out on the mission for the sake of his future, he goes anyways, equipped with a dangerous quantity of heat suppressants and an optimistic outlook. However, he wasn't prepared to end up spending most of his time with Alpha and long term friend Wade. Will he survive the mission and get back in time to spend his heat at home? Or ruin his health and suppress his heat long enough that he can prove his worth to SHIELD and the Avengers?

Peter Parker wasn't exactly ashamed of being an omega. Sure, he hid his status like the plague- masking his scent with an artificial beta spray, using heat suppressants at any given chance, only going off them when it was guaranteed he had a free weekend to spare, and wearing clothes that highlighted his un-omega-like toned arms when he was feeling particularly insecure about it- but it wasn't out of fear of being seen as such. But if you needed a picture painted of why he chose to hide his biological assignment in lieu of presenting himself as neutral, the one word he could begin to create it with was ‘Alphas’.

Alphas secreted dominance with them wherever they went, leaving their cocky, charismatic scent all over public spaces. School was no different. From the days of 7th grade and up, when puberty started hitting Peter's classmates and kids were presenting left and right, the alphas took total control of the hallways. Big man Flash was the first to show clear signs of an alpha, and the rest of his crew of alphas and wannabee-betas fell right in line behind him. With the rise of Alpha-Beta and Beta-Beta relationships being accepted in society, omegas were far and few. Male omegas were even rarer, making up just 25% of the omega population. History taught the extremely fertile gender was previously discriminated against harshly by those that believed them to be nothing more than baby-making machines, and nearly eradicated, as only Alpha-Omega relationships could produce omegas. However,as the omega population went down, closely followed by birth rates, everyone had begun to realize the necessary role omegas played in re-population. As such, omegas were presently celebrated and respected; lusted after and worshiped by alphas and betas alike.

But that was mostly in their later years. Before alphas started to develop their sexual drive, they reveled in the chance to show their power over others, and omega girls tended to be their target. Peter saw kids shoved into lockers, thrown in trash cans, and pushed around on a daily basis. He’d only known 2 omega boys in his life, and the teasing had gotten so severe they eventually moved to homeschooling. Luckily, he hadn't presented, and when he reached 14, he was officially declared as a beta by the school nurse, giving him a pass to fly under the bully's radars at least a tiny bit more effectively.

Unfortunately, being born as the child of a purebred omega and a groomed Alpha such as Mary and Richard left you more susceptible to presenting than other children. So when Peter awoke when he was 17, a few years after he'd taken on the Spider-Man persona and met Mr Stark, sweating and clawing at his clammy skin mid-heat, he knew the universe was doing whatever it could to fuck him over. Besides just school bullies being an issue when it came to his identity, another major reason he had to conceal any evidence of his omega status was the fact that he was Spider-Man. Not only would he most definitely be looked down on by his enemies or perceived as weak, but with the Avengers hardly taking him seriously as it is, and police on high alert searching for an alpha with superhuman strength, he didn't want to risk losing any more respect from the public. He wasn't totally popular at the moment. Besides, being known as an omega, especially a male omega, publicly would narrow down the search quite a bit. What was he, one of 20,000 in all of New York City? Luckily, he'd been pretty successful in hiding it so far, even on days such as today when he was on the week of his heat and could feel the hormone changes already. There was some big-name-but-secretly-evil private investor from some big-name-but-sketchy company that had been quietly investing in illegal technology on the terrorist level, or at least that's what Peter had gathered so far. He always did have some trouble figuring out what Coulson was actually saying, especially when he was distracted by...everything. Particularly a shiny-- "And we can count on you for that, right, Spider-Man?" Oh yeah. That was him. "What? Yeah, yeah, of course." Peter flashed his biggest grin to show he had definitely been listening and not spacing out like the 20 year old kid he was, but Coulson obviously couldn't see it through the spandex of his mask. All intimidating and slightly patronizing pairs of eyes turned back to stare at him, and he felt himself melting into his seat in guilt. Coulson drew a long sigh, rubbed his temple, then turned back to the map projected on the screen. "So, to repeat for Spider-Man, this point of investigation on the building will be a stealth mission. We'll send Natasha and Steve to the ground floor to  take out the heaviest of the security, and once they take notice of you, Spider-Man should have plenty of time to access the elevator shaft and descend to the bottom floor unnoticed. Once you're there, you need to find a way to get Tony in so he can disable the bombs placed on each level. That way, our agents can effectively infiltrate the premise with as little resistance as possible, end the weapons trade in Cabo, and place as many of the workers under arrest as we can.” Now Peter was a little confused, mostly by how he had spaced out all the way from the Russia plans to Mexico, but he was at least a little too proud to raise his hand and ask.

“We already have your escort ready for your portion of the mission, Spider-Man, so don’t worry about that piece. We’ve already made contact and he shall be there tomorrow when you depart.”

“I need an escort?” Peter earned an intense frown for his comment, and he shut himself up right away. “I mean, yeah. A-Okay with Me.”

“Intelligence gathering will begin tomorrow. Meet here at 4 for your flight. Yes, Clint, 4 in the morning. Don’t be late, and don’t forget to bring any supplies you may need for a mission that may take up to two weeks. The majority of your time in Russia will be spent on hold as back-up, in case something goes awry, until we make our move on their transportation facility once we’ve acquired enough data. Keep that in mind when packing. ” With that, Coulson officially ended the meeting and began to gather up what he had brought over. Peter was happy to escape, until he realized what exactly Coulson had said. Two weeks? No, there was no way he could be gone that long. His heat was due sometime around Friday, maybe Monday at latest. Tomorrow, Tuesday, at earliest. He couldn’t go on a trip with the Avengers when it was so close. That would be a story he would never live down.

“Yo, hey, Mr. Stark.”

“Kid.”

Peter side-stepped Captain America as he shuffled past, ending up in front of the man who had brought him into this line of business in the first place. He wasn't aware of Peter's omega status. Mr Stark hardly trusted him enough to allow him to be an Avenger in the first place, so Peter had hacked into Karen's programming with Ned's help to keep her from relaying omega-related health information to anyone else but himself. "Hey, uh, he said this mission was going on for 2 weeks?”

“Yep.” Mr Stark answered as he shoved his expensive tablet into its case, depositing it in his bag. “Homework standing in your way?”

“No, no, that’d be totally uncool.” Peter mentally crossed that off his list of excuses he had prepared. “I just don’t know if I can like...keep my cover that long. I have a lot of people that expect to see me every day. I don’t think the flu will work again.”

“Then use the Stark Internship papers I signed.” Mr Stark sighed thickly, turning to face Peter with an impatient expression. Peter internally cringed, able to see the extra stress he’d been under reflected on his face. He was five seconds from being scolded. He could feel it like a truck about to run him over. “Tell them you’re going on a school trip. Use my card and book hotels for proof. Figure it out. You’ve known since yesterday it was this long.”

“I...you’re right.” Peter relented. Guess there was no helping it, then. He’d just have to make sure to make the mission went by fast. And bring as many heat suppressants as possible, no matter how ineffective they were on him. “Sorry. I’ll get it sorted.”

“Good. This is your chance to prove we can trust you as a part of this team.” Mr Stark continued, walking past Peter and towards the door. Peter kept up with him easily, shadowing him through the hallways of the tower. “You’re young, and that’s kept SHIELD off your back for years. Don’t let this mission be the reason you have to give up everything you’ve worked towards.”

“It’s that important?”

“It’s that important.” Mr Stark repeated back.

Peter hadn’t even begun to consider this may be some sort of test to allow him to continue to operate in New York without proper jurisdiction. However, that made sense. Why else would an entire important section of the mission be dedicated to him? Or at least he assumed it was important. He wasn’t paying attention during the rest to find out what anyone else was doing. In fact, what was the goal of their mission again-- ?

Mr Stark’s shoulder came up close to Peter’s face too fast,and he realized too late he had stopped walking. He barely managed to catch himself before he rammed into the taller man from behind, taking an uncomfortable step back. Mr Stark turned to face him with a suspicious expression, slight worry maybe-possibly mixed in there somewhere. “You’ve been acting weird since yesterday.”

Peter swallowed. Pre-heat brain. But he couldn’t say that. “I guess so? It’s probably just because I’m around all of you guys and-”

“Cut the crap. What’s up? Why are you so determined not to go?” Mr Stark eyed him, as if he could see through his facade if he stared long enough. “Are you hurt?”

“What? No, I’m fine. Totally good.” Peter insisted, only realizing his missed opportunity once it was too late. “I think I’m just tired. I’ll make sure not to stay out too late tonight for patrol.”

“Maybe stay home and sleep the entire night. I’m sure New York will survive for a night.” Mr Stark still didn’t look like he believed him, and Peter almost preferred being ignored.

“I’ll think about it.” Peter agreed, though there was no way that was going to happen when he was already going to be gone for an extensive period of time. “Anyways, thanks for the talk. I should really get working on my excuses and alibis and stuff.”

“Right. Try to take it easy.”

“Will do.”

Peter peeled out of the conversation before Mr Stark could press it any further. He sprinted through the hallways of Stark Towers, pushing on each window until he found the one that was actually able to be opened at this height, indicated by a small rush of wind detectable only to his sensitive ears. His gloved hands pressed lightly on the surface, letting the glass pane swing out after some resistance. Peter crawled up onto the sill, his path home highlighted between the numerous skyscrapers littered along the streets. The cars honking below gave a rise to his adrenaline, and then he was falling, leaping from the building to give himself enough distance not to hit the wall, but free-falling like a bullet through the wind. 10 stories or so down he finally caught his fall, webs shooting out from both wrists with a distinct thwip . His arms jolted at the end of his dissent, before he was soaring again through the air, waiting until the last second possible before he would let another strand sail out and grip onto a pole or a ledge. All the while, calculations of heat suppressants and calendar days ate through his brain. He was sure this mission was just going to last a couple days, and the 2 weeks warning was just precautionary. They’d be in and out within a few days, and he’d be home and in bed by Saturday at the latest. They were the Avengers! It didn’t take that long for these kinds of things.

Probably.

"Hey Karen?"

"Yes, Peter?"

"Falsify a good health report if Mr Stark tries to check on me. Also, can you tell me how much is in my bank account? Suppressants are pretty expensive."

"Of Course, Peter." Karen responded, making Peter smile as he felt slightly less alone. "I believe you have about 3 doses remaining at home, and can afford a pack of 12 from the budget pharmacy in Northwest Queens."

Shit. "Thanks, Karen." Peter would just have to make do somehow.

--

Peter was not awake, by any means, the next morning.

He had followed Mr Stark’s advice and passed out before midnight. However, that still meant he only got a few hours in before he had to be up and packed by 3. He shoved a few days of civvies into a bag, rolled up tightly to conserve space, basic toiletries and underwear, and of course packed the rest of the space with necessary tools in case he got unlucky enough to end up in heat; a week’s worth of heat suppressants (enough for a normal metabolism to last a month, but he was unlucky enough to burn through a day’s worth in a few hours), 2 bottles of faux scent to mask his, and anti-anxiety medication to take the edge off if he was in a difficult spot. With that, he snuck a quiet breakfast and left Aunt May a note, before taking off with toast in his mouth towards the hangar he was told to meet in.

Peter was surprised to find himself to be the only one in full uniform. Mr Stark had his suitcase in hand but had made no attempt to wear it even partway, Steve had on sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt, in similar style to Sam, though his wing containment unit was in his arms, Clint hadn’t even changed out of his pajamas, but he did wear his bow over his back, and Natasha was in her bodysuit without any of her normal accessories layered on. They were still waiting for Peter’s supposed stealth mission escort, as well as Scott Lang, but otherwise Peter felt quite out of place.

“Don’t tell me you’re a morning person, too.” Clint walked in front of Peter, eyeing his suit with a yawn that made him look half-asleep still. “Sam and Steve exhaust me even thinking about waking up this early. I can’t be the only one thinking this is ungodly torture.”

“I’m running on pure adrenaline right now. I only got a nap in last night.” Peter admitted in a low voice, stretching to work the soreness out of his muscles. Usually he could sleep in short spurts and still have some energy for the day. Today, however, his body decided to try to shut down every 5 minutes and force him into a coma. “Honestly, I hope this plane ride is long enough to get a couple extra hours in-”

“I KNEW OUR LOVE WOULD PREVAIL.”

“Oh no.” Peter blanched, and didn’t even dare turn around. “Please tell me it’s not who I think it is.”

“No one told you?” Clint tsked, giving Peter a pitying look. “Yeah, sorry. He’s the only one we felt complimented your skills enough to be your escort.”

“Spidey, we’re finally official teammates! Or I guess I’m more like your babysitter. That just takes all the sex-appeal  out of it. Ooh, wait. I’ll be the professor, and you can be my favorite student I give after school lessons to.”

“Please tell me this is a joke.” Peter swallowed hard, able to smell the alpha behind him from where he stood. Apparently he was the only one that noticed how intense of a scent the man carried with him, as no one else seemed as repulsed by the air.

“Sorry, dude. Can’t always get what you want.” Clint threw Peter a grin that was so smug he wanted to wipe it off his face. However, he made a mental note not to try to attack any of his teammates no matter the situation, and turned to face his battle head-on. Clint passed by the red-clad newcomer with a short, but crisp, high five, and gave the spider one last wiggle of his fingers. What a jerk.

“Heeeey, Deadpool.”

“I thought they were kidding when they said you were on this mission.” The mercenary - or ‘in the process of retiring from murder’ mercenary- crossed the distance on the roof, standing inches above Peter. He wasn’t intimidating, however. More like… a giant, annoying man-child.

Who Peter also happened to be sort of really good friends with. Like, to the point they played video games maskless at Wade’s Manhattan safe house and split pizzas when on patrol. And Deadpool knew his name and face. But he wasn't Peter's first pick to accompany him on a mission Peter was trying to prove that he was mature enough to be on.

“Ouch.”

“Not that there’s anything wrong with you, Pumpkin. But you gotta admit, if I get asked to join in on missions before you, something seriously needs to change about your job performance.”

“Pretty sure they only brought you along as a bullet shield. So you could distract the bad guys with your giant mouth.” Peter shot back, though all in good humor.

Wade made a dramatic gasp, one gloved hand shooting up to cover his lips in true theatrical fashion. “I guess it’s good my kink is getting used.”

“That’s...A weird kink to have.”

“Does it turn you on?”

“Not at all.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

“Hey, Tweedledee and Tweedledum.” Mr Stark’s voice sounded behind Peter, jarring them both from their banter. “Get ready to board.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” Wade saluted in response, then glanced back down at Peter. “You’re sitting by me, right?”

“Definitely not.”

“Awww, Spidey!”

“Let’s go.”  Natasha ordered, her head peeking out from the corner of the craft.

Wade threw out his hand with a gentlemanly “after you.” Peter, unable to resist a moment of humor and making Wade laugh, half-courtesy’d in return and made his way towards the short ladder leading into the plane.

The inside of an Avenger’s aircraft wasn’t anything like Peter had pictured. Being sponsored by a billionaire apparently didn’t reap the benefits of travelling in style; rather than being filled with alien tech, or super advanced spy technology, or even genuine leather seats, the inside of the plane was rather bland. It featured a cockpit illuminated with buttons and levers that Peter hadn’t the slightest clue their true intention, only slight privacy given to the designated pilots at the front. Behind that rested a computer Peter had to resist the urge not to immediately ask to study, as well as spaces in the sides for weapons and storage. The seats were spaced so that there were 8 passenger seats, stretching along the length of the plane. Peter situated himself in the back, close to the hatch they used for for entering. Somehow, having an escape route made him feel more secure than the claustrophobia he would feel trapped between two well-respected heroes. Or maybe he was just self conscious. Either way, he sat himself down as far from the others as he could get, and shoved his backpack in his lap.

Wade decided to take the spot right next to him, despite 3 other seats remaining open, and Natasha -looking as judgemental as ever- took the space across.

“The Itsy Bitsy Spider ran up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out!” Wade apparently became quite the comedian under pressure, pulling out his katana Bea - or maybe it was Arthur- to start sharpening the length. Both the spider-themed heroes gave him an irritated look, Peter a bit more disbelieving he would bother one of the scariest members of the team, before Natasha cleared her throat.

“I’m sure I could find a way to make sure you don’t come back from death, if you keep this up the entire ride there.” The ginger commented dryly, crossing her legs in a way that Peter felt he was a second away from witnessing Wade’s true demise

“That would be my lucky day, cupcake.” Wade grinned back, sliding his katana back into its holster. Despite his cool exterior, Peter knew he thought Natasha was hot shit that could beat him to a pulp. “I’m quaking in my suit. I don’t know if I’m scared, or excited, but probably both.”

Scott swiveled in the chair placed just in front of the computer he had claimed, the metal loudly squeaking to catch their attention. “I am not dealing with you two arguing for 12 hours.”

“15 hours.” Bruce mumbled, though he remained primarily focused on a notebook filled to the brim with incoherent scribbles.

“I am not listening to you arguing for 15 hours!” Scott corrected, folding his arms in a fatherly fashion.

“I don’t even remember you being invited, LadybugBoy.” Natasha’s subtle but annoyed comment instantly sent Wade into a fit of laughter, jolting her from her anger. The change of Wade’s attitude was just enough for her to relinquish her dangerous atmosphere for a moment, and she settled calmly back in her seat.

“It’s Ant-Man.” Scott mumbled indignantly, which only served to make Wade laugh harder. The ex-convict turned back to his computer to rest his head, and for once in his life Peter saw Natasha crack an expression similar to a grin.

The conversation seemed to settle their nerves, as well as at the 4 AM call time, because the Avengers grew completely silent within the hour. Clint dozed off first, followed by Bruce (after he injected himself with some tranquilizer he often kept with him), and Natasha dropped into some weird relaxation that was close to sleep, with her body still tensed and at the ready to fight at any time. Scott was still sulking by the time Peter felt himself start to fall asleep, a yawn being the first sign of his body begging for a nap. Wade seemed to notice immediately despite the mask, because a gloved leather hand wormed its way to the top of Peter’s head to try to pull him in to his shoulder. Peter didn’t budge, giving Wade a deadpanned look. “Dude.”

“What?” Wade asked innocently, his arm retreating back to his side.

“I’m not sleeping on you.”

“I am the best goddamn pillow you will ever use.”

“We’re on a plane with the Avengers.” Peter said in an awkward whisper as if it wasn’t obvious, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“You don’t have to be shy about our secret relationship, Spidey. I’ve already told everyone you’re my lo--”

“Friend.” Peter cut in, groaning and sitting back in his chair with a huff. He had to admit, the seats weren’t very comfortable, and his stomach was tight with anxiety. Talking with Deadpool was easing at least a little bit of the pressure.

“Friend with benefits. Just as exciting without the emotional attachment. I like your style.” Peter didn’t really have the energy to argue against Wade’s ramblings, so he just let his eyes slip shut and tried to focus on staying awake, figuring he could just rest his eyes for a few minutes. Eventually his body grew numb enough he was a little more comfortable, and the rest was doing wonders for his scattered brain and anxiety.

His eyes shot open again when they hit turbulence, and he realized he had been passed out for an extensive period of time. Long enough that nearly everyone was asleep, including Wade, who was passed out on Peter’s arm. Peter stared at him for a few minutes, trying to decide whether to push him away and save himself the embarrassment of anyone seeing, or let him continue to slumber to make up for the nights he’d let Peter stay over on his couch and eat his fridge dry.

He ended up choosing the latter after an extensive internal debate, though most of it was because his arm was completely asleep under the weight of his large head and leather mask, and he didn’t have the strength in it to push him away. It worked out fine in the end, once Peter had grown tired enough to fall back into sleep, when Wade’s head created a hard pillow for him to drop his cheek on. And that was how they spent their flight, until Wade roused and immediately started teasing Peter for falling asleep on him, to the point he got up and changed seats out of annoyance.

There was a reason Peter had said no to sitting by Wade. He was an asshole. Comfortable, but still an asshole.

[rational-mastermind]

King’s Cafe Ch 1

HELL YES we’re starting this year off with a shit ton of writing!!

Now fair warning to the five others in this fandom and what few read my writing for the sheer sake of it: I’m not intending on making this a serious fanfic. Trilby won’t save the day or have any sort of epic quest to save the coffee shop. Just...more like glorified head canons than anything. How they meet. What others do with their modern-day life. A few consistencies, but nothing major. No over arcing plots. Hell no real plot at all. Just slice-of-life shit. That being said, enjoy.

--

Chapter 1 - Introductions

 On the corner, at the intersection between Bronwyn road and Kings street, sat a small cafe which was aptly named King’s Cafe. It was small and quaint and obviously trying its best. Nothing too fancy or special. A modest little coffee shop that got by on the average. It had its share of regulars and made decent enough sales to keep the employees paid.

 And one employee in particular, Siobhan O’Malley, was running late.

 She hurried into the store and closed the door behind her. She sighed disappointed and frustrated, knowing she’s likely to hear about her tardiness from the manager, Cabadath. But now wasn’t a time for self-pity. Now was a time for work. She came over to the door to the worker’s back room, grabbed her apron, punched in, heard the snide remark from Cabadath about being a few minutes late, and came out, ready to start her day.

 First she headed to the back to check on their resident baker, John DeFoe.

 John was an unusual lad. He was tall, pale as a ghost, and lanky, practically skin and bones. He had a gaunt face and hollowed eyes, but he wasn’t really as spooky as he appeared. He was actually very timid and sweet, but a hard worker as well.

 He always arrived first, bright and early, to get started on the cakes and doughnuts and pastries. It would’ve been a surprise that the cafe’s management even allowed him to have so much free reign, but it was no secret that his baking was what really brought in customers. Between his sweet treats and the way his twin brother, Matthew, would ice and decorate and customize each and every cookie, it was a wonder you could call it a cafe at all and not just a bakery.

 Siobhan peeked into the kitchen to check on him, the sweet warm smell of spices, yeast, and fresh brewed coffee already wafting about the air.

 “Morning!” she greeted cheerfully.

 John was in the middle of stirring up dough and looking at a recipe on the company’s laptop. He jumped, slightly startled, before his gaze became expressionless once more, as it normally was, and he fixed it on her. He gave a curt nod.

John was a mute. He could hear, and he often used sign-language as a means to communicate, though it was really only something Matthew understood. In all truth, it always made Siobhan uneasy and constantly in the dark of the lad’s real thoughts or intentions. She hoped the nod was meant well and she gave a thumbs-up in return, feeling momentarily stupid for doing so.

 “Morning, Ms. Siobhan!” Matthew’s sweet and excited voice rang out as he came in, from the pantry behind the kitchen, carrying a large tray full of different colored icing.

 Siobhan immediately started to lighten up and feel better. Matthew’s sunny disposition and youthful energy easily filled any room. A complimentary yang to John’s yin.

 “Hey Matt.” Siobhan smiled back. “How we looking today?”

 “Doing great! Same as always!” Matt replied easily.

 “Awesome.”

 Siobhan came back out to the main room and looked up at the chalkboard. She noticed Cabadath had already scribbled in specials for the day and the cake display was already polished and gleaming. She got started on brewing a few of the coffees, and, when ready, made herself a Caretaker. A personal favorite of the unusually named coffees they served.

 Siobhan then went about the cafe, setting chairs to tables, setting out the old magazines no one looks at, and setting pillows up on the couches, where they belonged.

 “S’cuse me, Siobhan.”

 She turned and saw Theo standing behind her with a broom and dustpan. An expectant and rather bored look on his face.

 “Oh! Yeah, sorry.” she stepped out of the way and Dacabe began sweeping under the couch. “When’d you come in?”

 “Same time as you. I came in right behind you.”

 “Oh..” Siobhan gave a weak grin. “Ah.. Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

 “No one ever does.”

 She rolled her eyes and walked away. Theo was always a bit of a crybaby. He was the janitor though, so not only was it easy to overlook him, it wasn’t exactly like he had the hardest job. Not in Siobhan’s opinion at least.

 Siobhan came to the front and pulled away the blinds and turned around the open sign. She came back to the counter.

 ‘5….

 ‘4….

 ‘3….

 ‘2….

 ‘1….’

 “Morning!” Claire’s voice rang out, out of breath but still perky. She hurried to the door to the back office and soon reappeared, dressed for work. “Hey! Sorry! Sorry I’m late!”

 “You’re right on time, Claire.” Siobhan grinned.

 Claire hurried around the counter, said good morning to the boys, and came back to the counter and began helping set things up for the morning.

 “So, how’s it going?” Claire asked.

 “Same old, same old.” Siobhan sighed with a patient smile.

 Claire worked the counters with Siobhan. She was a sweet, short, bespectacled woman. The type who loved to collect cat figurines and make movie references. She was bubbly and kind and claims to be psychic. Some believe her, some don’t. It didn’t really matter to Siobhan either way. Working with Claire was always a delight.

 They got the store ready and opened. After helping a few early morning patrons, Siobhan looked up at the clock. 9:30.

 She heard the door jingle and looked over in time to see Dr. Somerset walk in.

 “Morning, Somerset!” she called out with a smile.

 “Morning.” he greeted with a small nod.

 “You ordering anything this time?”

 “Maybe in a bit.” he walked over to the same corner he always sat at, in the arm chair underneath the space poster, and pulled out his laptop from his bag.

 Siobhan rolled her eyes. Somerset was nice enough, but being a psychologist, trying to get into the field, he was almost always jobless. As such, he hardly ever actually ordered coffee. Instead he sat on his laptop, scrolling through the internet, busy with job hunting.

 Not 3 minutes later did the door jingle for another regular.

 “Siobhan!” Prof. Abed Chahal called out, as soon as he came in. He was a good man, a history professor for the nearby university. He always came in on the weekend, carrying a suitcase.

 Siobhan waved, smiling.

 “Morning, Abed! What’ll it be?”

 “Ah.. I’m feeling adventurous today.” Abed thought for a moment, looking at the menu. “I think I’ll have a Guide.”

 “Got it. Anything else?”

 “Do the boys have any pastries ready?” he glanced over at the glass display of cakes and tarts.

 “They’ve already been baking. Whatcha need?”

 “Mmm.. What would you recommend?”

 “Hm. I think I saw Johnny put in a sheet of cookies!”

 “Well that sounds perfect. I’ll have one of those when they’re finished.”

 “Alright then.” Siobhan jotted down the order and rang him up.

 Abed walked over to a booth to wait. He sat down his suitcase, opened it up, and began setting up the chess board he always brought with him. Siobhan chuckled and watched him set up all the pieces.

 “Who are you gonna play today?” she asked.

 “Not sure, yet. But I’m sure I’ll find someone. Perhaps Johnny will entertain me on his break.”

 “Hm. Maybe.” though Siobhan was sure he wouldn’t.

 Johnny almost always liked to keep to himself and stay in the back. Abed was likely confusing him for Matthew.

 Time went by, she made the coffee, got the cookie, came out to the counter.

 “Abed, you’re coffee’s ready!” she immediately turned to find Chris Quinn, just as he was about to attempt shouting and scaring her. “Morning Chris.”

 “Aw- what?!” Chris’ face fell in disappointment. “Bullshit, how’d you know I was here?”

 “Because you do it almost every morning.” Siobhan chuckled. “And I heard Claire take your order.”

 “She’s a sharp one, Chris.” Abed was chuckling as he took his coffee.

 Chris blew a raspberry and proceeded to act like he was deflating and drape himself over the counter.

 “You’re no fun, Siobhan.”

 “And you’re still a child.” she chuckled.

 “Here’s your coffee, Chris!”, Claire nudged past Siobhan and handed him a cup. “One Arrogant Joe.”

 “Hell yes. Thank you!” he grinned and quickly bounced over to the couch beside Somerset and sat down to bug him instead.

 Chris Quinn was an odd one. A man who supposedly wrote for a living. He was childish, excited, exuberant, and eccentric. He would’ve looked like a psychopathic horror, with the dark bags under his wide eyes and the long black trench coat that had red splatter paint on it.

He was a type of person Claire would describe as “bright”, but not in the traditional sense of being intelligent. “Bright” as in the way a 1000 watt lightbulb would be bright. He was friendly with everyone, had a horrible caffeine and  sugar addiction, and was only ever kicked out once when he made everyone uncomfortable after downing 5 lattes on a dare and began talking about talking dog heads and zombies. He was mostly harmless, but has warned most of his slight schizophrenic tendencies.

 After a while, the doorbell rang once more and the last regular of this cafe’s dysfunctional family arrived; Jim Fowler.

 Jim was less common compared to others, being generally busy with school himself, but often stopped by on the weekends. He was a good, sensible lad who was on good terms with the DeFoe Twins, despite being a year younger. They go to the same school and on weekends, like today, Jim sometimes hangs around the shop and studies.

 “Morning, Jim. What’ll it be?”

 “Morning, Ms. O’Malley. Um..” Jim looked over the menu, thinking a moment before finally snapping his fingers with an answer. “Y’know? I think I’ll have the Bridgekeeper.”

 “Got it.”

 “Any of John’s cakes?”

 “Plenty!” Matt came around, setting up another baked good for the display. “Whatcha need?”

 “What was that one..? You guys were talking about it the other day. With the caramel?”

 “Ooh! Yeah, the Salty Bears! We just finished those!”

 Matt quickly disappeared into the back to retrieve his dish. Siobhan chuckled and rang him up.

 “Jimmy! Why don’t you sit down and play a round with me?” Abed asked, looking up from his board.

 “Wish I could, Abed, but I got studies!” Jim gave an apologetic grin.

 “Nonsense! It’s just one round!”

 “Mm. He should really study.” Claire chimed in, closing her eyes. “Big test coming up.” 

 “You’re telling me..” Jim rolled his eyes. “My dad’s gonna be all over me if I don’t pass.”

 He hurried to another table and sat down, sitting his backpack beside him and started pulling out his textbooks.

 “Welp, everyone’s here today.” Siobhan said to Claire.

 “Yup. Another day in the King’s Cafe.” Claire sighed contently.

 Jim soon got his coffee and pastry, and then it was just another, slow, typical day in the cafe.

 Abed managed to convince Matthew to play with him on his next break.

 A few randos came in and went out.

 Simone Taylor droned on in the background on a small TV mounted to the wall in the back.

 Chris decided he was done bugging Somerset and struck up a conversation with Siobhan while waiting for his next cup.

 “So, can I ask a serious question, Siobhan?” Chris was asking.

 “But you’re never serious.” Siobhan chuckled, pouring the milk into his latte, practicing her foam art.

 “No, come on. Really.”

 “Okay, fine, what?”

 “When are we gonna stop playing these silly games with each other?” he grinned suggestively.

 Siobhan laughed. It wasn’t the first time Chris was a flirt, let alone flirted with her. But as opposed to most guys, Siobhan didn’t think it wise to have even a casual fling with a man like Chris. She shook her head.

 “Chris, I still don’t know what game you’re talking about? But if you’re looking for a date Friday, the answer is still no.”

 “Aw, come on!”

 The door jingled and rang. Siobhan handed him his coffee.

 “Just take your drink, would...ya…” Siobhan’s thought slowed as she took in the recent customer.

 He was tall.

 He was handsome.

 He was well dressed.

 He was soaked to the bone.

 His long black hair clung damply to his pale face.

 He took off a small gray hat, a complementary part to the three piece grey pinstripe suit he wore, and shook the excess water off.

 He looked up and smiled at Siobhan, politely.

 “Good afternoon.” he said in a soft, posh, baritone voice.

 “Um..” Siobhan quickly shook her head and smiled readily. “Welcome to the King’s Cafe, sir. What can I get you?”

 “Well let’s see um…” the man frowned, reading the menu. “I’m...afraid I don’t quite understand what some of your options are.”

 “Oh! Right! Uh, the King’s Cafe has a few specials, and ergo a fun and special lingo for the customers.” Siobhan chuckled. “It’s a little silly really, but I’ll do my best to explain anything that catches your attention.”

 “Well.. What’s the Guide?”

 “The Guide is basically a Mead Raf.” Siobhan explained. “Espresso with a shot of honey and topped with heavy cream. Bitter, strong, but a hint of something sweet.”

 “Actually that already sounds lovely. I think I’ll try that.”

 “Coming right up, sir. Do you like cakes?”

 “Not often...” he said, looking at his watch, frowning thoughtfully. “...Perhaps another time.”

 “Alright then. I’ll get that coffee ready.”

 She rung him up and he paid, but was so distracted he left to a table and sat down immediately. He was carrying a leather messenger bag and quickly sat up in a corner booth, pulling out several notebooks and a laptop. He immediately got to work on whatever and it took Siobhan an embarrassing amount of time to realize she hadn’t asked his name.

 “Uh, sir? Sir?” but it was too late.

 The man was already too engrossed in whatever it was he was doing to hear her. Siobhan simply sighed and looked at the cup. She shrugged and drew a trilby on it. And that was when she realized the newcomer had caught everyone’s attention. Even Somerset and the DeFoe twins were all looking over, trying to get a look at the strange man.

 “...Alright, come on you guys, there’s nothing to see. He’s just another customer.” Siobhan rolled her eyes and got to work.

 “He is kinda cute though.” Claire grinned, leaning over the counter to look better.

 “Claire.” Siobhan said disapprovingly.

 “Hell maybe he’ll wanna go out this Friday.” Chris grinned.

 “Chris, you’re not even gay.” Siobhan looked at him, confused.

 “So?” Chris immediately went over to introduce himself.

 Siobhan internally cringed. She hated when Chris did this with other customers. The one time it was funny because a guy named Philip clocked him in the face, but aside from that, it was usually just embarrassing and frustrating.

 “Hey!” Chris greeted, taking a seat opposite of the man. “So what’s your name?”

 The man didn’t skip a beat, and continued to type away on his keyboard, slowing only to reach over with one hand and hold up a notebook he was looking at. One hand still typing away while he read.

 Chris sat there for a moment before leaning over a little closer, looking over the notebook.

 “Whatcha working on there?” he reached to move the notebook down a little.

 “Your demise if you so much as touch this notebook.” was the sharp and quiet answer.

 Chris immediately retreated. The man continued on, unphased.

 “I’ve no time for idle chit-chat, thank you.” the man said politely. “I’ve a very important deadline.”

 “Then maybe another time? ‘Nother place?”

 “Here and now is plenty for me to worry about. I’ve no interest in any further plans.”

 Siobhan chuckled at how utterly rejected Chris looked. Eventually she finished the order and looked over at him. She wasn’t sure at first how to address him, but figured if she had to, she’ll go over and tap him on the shoulder.

 “Um.. Sir? W-with the trilby?” she leaned over the counter a little.

 At that, as if by magic, the man’s head popped up from his work

 “Hm? Me? Oh, yes.”

 He came over and grabbed the coffee.

 “Thank you very much, miss.” he smiled politely.

 “Wait, what’s your-?” He already turned and retreated back to his corner.

 “Maybe his name’s Trilby?” Claire suggested.

 “What kind of name is that?” Siobhan scoffed.

 “Hm, judging by his laptop and notebooks, it could be a pseudonym.” Somerset commented thoughtfully. “Likely an author or writer of some sort.”

 “You think he’s here to stay?” Chris asked.

 “Whatcha mean?” Claire asked.

 “Well I mean.. Look at us.” Siobhan shrugged. “Normally we’re all here at some point or another. Sometimes with Philip or Janine.”

 “Oh.. So you think maybe he’s gonna…” Claire looked back and Chris helpfully finished the sentence.

 “Stick around.”

 Everyone was looking at him curiously now, lost in their own thoughts and assumptions.

 Siobhan watched him for a while, serious and busy hammering away at his laptop. He occasionally paused only to look over his notes once more or to sigh, rub his chin, and soon enough get back to typing. Perfectly content and oblivious to the world around him. She smiled.

 “...Maybe he will.”