#like i think about this more than a normal person should
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Chat I'm gonna ramble
I have multiple hyperfixations that every once in a while I think "oh I'm getting normal about this now I think" and suddenly I'm BLASTED with the knowledge that I'm, in fact, not normal about it AT ALL
So this is a list of things I'm normal about until I'm not normal about, for fun
I spend like from a week to a month being EXACTLY the image above, to the point where even >I< get tired of hearing me talk about something
Danganronpa, unfortunately. Resurfaces at least once a year, and so far it's happened 3 times around my birthday. I don't think I can break the curse and I've stopped trying
Steven Universe, but specifically ALL the Ruby and Sapphire appearances. I can binge ONLY the episodes where they appear and sometimes the ones leading up to it for the full impact. That's why my Kavetham Rupphire crossover exists.
Genshin Impact hasn't gone anywhere since I got into it, I never had the chance to think I was normal about it. But every once in a while I might think I'm normal about Enkanomiya, The Chasm, Perilous Trail or Guizhong and I get SLAPPED by my own insanities
HSR but specifically the Xianzhou Luofu continuances from 2.4 and 2.5. I am ABNORMAL about the Yaoqing Trio, I am ABNORMAL about Lingsha, I am ABNORMAL about the transition from Dan Feng to Dan Heng in the shackling prison
Ordem Paranormal as a whole. Since Natal Macabro released I haven't been able to let go of it. I can't do anything without thinking "what if I inserted the NM cast into this". I binged the ending of Desconjuração this week. I watched two whole episodes in one day, and MIND YOU. THE EPISODES ARE 4 HOURS LONG.
Like two months ago I got beamed with Akame Ga Kill thoughts. Chat. It was so much worse than all the other times. I lost track of how many times I watched this anime since 2017. This time I only intended to watch a couple of the episodes, yk "the fun ones" (where my faves die) and ended up watching THE ENTIRE ANIME. In two days. I did not come out of it with my sanity intact. And this time I absorbed even more plot points that I had missed the other days and I was even more analytical of the characters and chat. Chat I don't think I can recover from this one. The Run thoughts come back to me every time I open my gallery. Ohhhhhh vaguely androgynous blonde man with good intentions but questionable actions who is the normalest person in his group and has angel imagery despite having a LOW ASS V NECK that shows a considerable amount of his chest save meeeee. Save me small pink girl with a gun double her size and trauma that turns into motivation. Save me lady who killed a guy with her bare fists with no power back up while she was dying from several gun wounds and also bit into a guy's blade with her teeth and it was literally so attractive I physically had to stop and gush over it because I'm attracted to beautiful and strong women.
This was not my intention but I think that last point is a very good example. I am, in fact, not normal about it. I literally thought a few hours ago "huh maybe I should delete some of these AGK skins, I don't use them a lot" past me I have news and I think you won't like them ...
#sorry for the ramble op#I legit just wanted to get it out#those are all things I talk about so much when they resurface#and honestly I feel bad for the people who have to listen to it#HOWEVER.#I LIVE INSIDE MY BRAIN AND I HAVE TO HEAR THESE THINGS EVEN WHEN I'M NOT TALKING#SO I SHALL SHOW NO MERCY (ramble) TO MY ALLIES (friends who can handle hearing me out about things they have no clue about)
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I know I’m screaming into the void here but do not witch hunt people with AI accusations
As someone whose job for the last two years involved me reading and rereading essays and creative fiction written by my students (a group of writers notorious for using AI despite being told not to because they worry about their grades more than their skills) let me tell you straight up that detecting AI in any written work isn’t straightforward
AI detection softwares are bullshit. Even Turnitin, which is supposedly the best, has an error rate that is slowly increasing over time. They’re not reliable. The free ones online are even worse, trust me
“Oh but it’s so obvious!” Sure. If you’re trained to notice patterns and predictive repetitions in the language, sure. I can spot a ChatGPT student essay from a mile away. But only if they haven’t edited it themselves, or used a bunch of methods (Grammarly, other AIs, their friends, a “humanizer” software, etc) to obscure the ChatGPT patterns. And it’s easier with formulaic essays—with creative fiction it’s much harder.
Why?
Well because good creative fiction is a) difficult to write well and b) extremely subjective. ChatGPT does have notable patterns for creative writing. But it’s been trained on the writing that is immensely popular, writing that has been produced by humans. Purple prose, odd descriptions, sixteen paragraphs of setting where one or two could be fine, all of that is stylistic choices that people have intentionally made in their writing that ChatGPT is capable of predicting and producing.
What I’m saying is, people just write like that normally. There are stylistic things I do in to writing that other people swear up and down is an AI indicator. But it’s just me writing words from my head
So can we, should we, start witch hunts over AI use in fanfic when we notice these patterns? My answer is no because that’s dangerous.
Listen. I hate AI. I hate the idea of someone stealing my work and feeding it into a machine that will then “improve itself” based on work I put my heart and soul into. If I notice what I think is AI in a work I’ve casually encountered online, I make a face and I stop reading. It’s as simple as that. I don’t drag their name out into the public to start a tomato throwing session because I don’t know their story (hell they might even be a bot) and because one accusation can suddenly become a deluge
Or a witch hunt, if you will
Because accusing one person of AI and starting a whole ass witch hunt is just begging people to start badly analyzing the content they’re reading out of fear that they’ve been duped. People don’t want to feel the sting or embarrassment of having been tricked. So they’ll start reading more closely. Too closely. They’ll start finding evidence that isn’t really evidence. “This phrase has been used three times in the last ten paragraphs. It must be AI.”
Or, it could be that I just don’t have enough words in my brain that day and didn’t notice the repetition when I was editing.
There’s a term you may be familiar with called a “false positive.” In science or medicine, it’s when something seems to have met the conditions you’re looking for, but in reality isn’t true or real or accurate. Like when you test for the flu and get a positive result when you didn’t have the flu. Or, in this case, when you notice someone writing sentences that appear suspiciously like a ChatGPT constructed sentence and go “oh, yes that must mean it’s ChatGPT then”
(This type of argumentation/conclusion also just uses a whole series of logical fallacies I won’t get into here except to say that if you want to have a civil conversation about AI use in fandom you cannot devolve into hasty generalizations based on bits and parts)
I��m not saying this to protect the people using AI. In an ideal world, people would stop using it and return back to the hard work of making art and literature and so on. But we don’t live in that world right now, and AI is prevalent everywhere. Which means we have to be careful with our accusations and any “evidence” we think we see.
And if we do find AI in fandom spaces, we must be careful with how we handle or approach that, otherwise we will start accusing writers who have never touched AI a day in their life of having used it. We will create a culture of fear around writing and creating that stops creatives from making anything at all. People will become too scared to share their work out of fear they’ll be accused of AI and run off.
I don’t have solutions except to say that in my experience, outright accusing people of AI tends to create an environment of mistrust that isn’t productive for creatives or fans/readers. If you start looking for AI evidence everywhere, you will find it everywhere. Next thing you know, you’re miserable because you feel like you can’t read or enjoy anything.
If you notice what you think is AI in a work, clock it, maybe start a discussion about it, but keep that conversation open to multiple answers or outcomes. You’re not going to stop people from using AI by pointing fingers at them. But you might be able to inspire them to try writing or creating for themselves if you keep the conversation open, friendly, and encourage them to try creating for themselves, without the help of AI
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Mary Janes
.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.☁︎
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵
8
(T.W Sexual content)
Y/N
I feel the weight of Cait’s gaze on me even as we get into position for the drills. The tension is still thick, clinging to the air around us. I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve let her down, but at the same time, something inside me rebels against her judgment. I’m not the same person I was yesterday, and I’m not sure if I can—or even want to—go back.
The sound of sneakers on the gym floor and Coach’s sharp instructions snap me out of my thoughts. I focus on the drills, pushing my body to keep moving, to not think too hard about the conversation that’s left a weird knot in my chest.
I glance over at Cait once more, but this time, she’s already looking away, her posture stiff, arms crossed over her chest. She’s not glaring anymore, but the distance between us is still there. It’s strange, how something as small as eyeliner can shift the way someone looks at you, and even stranger how it makes me question everything about myself.
Mel’s voice cuts through the silence, her usual easygoing tone filling the space between us. “You know, Cait’s just worried about you.” Her words are softer now, less guarded than they were earlier.
“I know,” I reply quietly, not meeting her eyes. “It’s just… I’m tired of playing it safe all the time.”
Mel gives me a small smile, like she gets it, even if she doesn’t say anything more.
The drills drag on, but my mind keeps wandering back to Cait’s disapproval, to the small voice inside me that wonders if maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m getting in over my head with all of this. But at the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m closer to something real, something that’s mine.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿
Jinx
As per the request of my favorite nerd, I’ve been reading some good old Shakespeare.
I’m supposed to be diving into Romeo and Juliet. Star-crossed lovers, epic tragedy, all that jazz. It should be interesting, right?
But the words are swimming in front of me because, let’s face it, I can’t concentrate for shit.
Not after this morning.
Y/N just looked so fucking pretty.
It’s ridiculous how she doesn’t even try, yet manages to ruin me without saying a word.
The way her hair fell around her face, a little messy but still perfect, and those big, thoughtful eyes that always seem to see right through me.
And that eyeliner—my eyeliner—that I practically begged her to let me do. Seeing my work on her face, sharp and bold, was enough to drive me insane.
Like a little piece of me was with her, walking around, unshakable.
And then there’s the way she blushed when I teased her.
That soft pink creeping up her cheeks, her lips parting like she wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.
Makes me want to press closer, push her boundaries just a little more, see how far I can take it before she pushes back.
Or maybe she wouldn’t push back at all.
What would she be like?
I’ve never seen her with anyone—guy or girl. Hell, does she even like girls?
The thought twists in my chest.
What if she doesn’t?
What if all the teasing, the lingering glances, the way her cheeks flush when I get too close—it’s just her being her, too sweet to tell me to fuck off? But then, what if it’s not?
What if she does?
I wonder what she’d do with one. What she’d do with me.
Do to me.
My hand trails down.
Down.
"Fuck,"
I'm already soaked.
I wiggle out the dampened underwear quickly, and toss it somewhere.
Doesn't matter where, oh fuck.
I lock eyes with myself in the mirror as I spread my legs, as wide as they can go.
Fuck, what has she done to me?
My lipstick’s a mess, smeared from where my teeth dug in.
My thighs are trembling and I haven't even touched... anything yet...
Normally i would just get myself off, quick easy, but Y/N wouldn't do that.
I'm sure she'd been curious, the girl's definitely never seen a pussy before, and I'm not sure any of her books have those lewd acts in them.
My finger slowly circles my clit, fuck that's good.
Gonna go slow.
Y/N would go slow.
My head drops back on my pillow as I resume those slow, slow circles.
God it's torturous.
My unoccupied hand, somehow, finds its way to my tit, totally unprompted.
"Fuck,"
The words barley there this time.
My teeth sink into my lower lip again when I slip a finger inside of me.
Gentle, slow.
Then another finger.
I keep my eyes trained on my reflection as I start those motions.
In out, in out.
"Fuck, fuck, Y/N," I turn my face into my pillow, whimpering now.
I bite down on the pillow to supress my lewd noises.
My hips move with my hand, chasing that sweet, sweet, release.
Fuck what would she do if she could see this.
See the state she's made me into, all squirmy on my bed.
She'd probably get that wide eyed look.
Maybe she'd whimper-
Oh if she damn whimpered-
My thoughts are cut short by a practically pornographic noise ripping from my throat.
"Oh, oh god,"
The noises leaving me gradually become more incoherent.
I can't keep my eyes open anymore, those familiar white spots starting to cloud my vision.
I've had orgasms before, of course I have.
But this was fucking earth shattering.
I don't know if it was the thought of her, those wide eyes, that blush, that spurred me on or what, but my back arched right of the bed, what was practically a cry leaving my mouth.
After regaining function of my senses, I lock eyes with my reflection.
Fuck I look a mess.
I lean closer to the mirror, squinting at the mess.
Jesus Christ.
Smudged eyeliner, streaks of lipstick—no, stains, because apparently, my mouth decided it wanted to eat the damn tube.
"Goddamn," I hiss, swiping at it with my thumb. It just smears more. Great. Now I look like a clown that got into a bar fight.
My hair’s a disaster too—sticking to my forehead in sweaty clumps.
I rake a hand through it, but it’s hopeless. I look like I’ve been... well, doing exactly what I was doing.
The chill of the room finally hits me.
Oh, right.
Still butt-ass naked. My eyes dart around for anything to throw on and land on an oversized hoodie draped over the chair.
Good enough.
I yank it over my head, the fabric catching on my damp skin, and flop back onto my bed.
The hoodie clings to me, sticking uncomfortably in places, but I don’t have the energy to care.
My legs are sprawled out, the hem of the hoodie riding up enough to make it clear I’m not bothering with underwear.
I stare at the ceiling, trying to will my brain into some semblance of order.
It doesn’t work.
My thoughts are still a chaotic mess, flitting between random nonsense and her.
Always back to her.
Her laugh. Her stupid, perfect laugh that’s like sunshine and honey and all that other cheesy shit people write poetry about.
Her eyes—soft, but sharp when she’s focused, like she’s solving the universe one thought at a time.
And that little wrinkle she gets between her brows when she’s concentrating too hard?
Yeah, that one’s burned into my brain. Thanks for that, Y/N.
I groan, rolling onto my side and dragging a pillow over my face. “You’re pathetic,” I mumble into the fabric.
.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.☁︎
authors note: another short chapter, but i felt it was quite important to have certain bits as their own entity, hope you like it ;)
please like and reblog!
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Please please do a lando x ex!reader. Angst because hey’d broken up when she fell pregnant but he wasn’t ready. And now seeing her pregnant in the paddock is doing stuff to him. Eventually he can’t take it anymore and he fucks her…hard.
Burning By Design
pairing: Lando Norris x ex girlfriend reader (m/f)
rating: explicit
word count: 4,7 k
tags/warnings: smut, angst with a happy ending (maybe, maybe), toxicity, 3rd trimester pregnancy, unprotected sex (not recommended by author!!), rough sex (p.i.v.), pregnancy fetish (if you squint), 2nd person POV, past tense, no "y/n" or OC names used
a/n (header): title by shame. apologies for the wait. i have study related work. this might be as fast as i get. anyway, i really enjoyed writing this and am hoping for more requests - head to my pinned post :)
At first, he could not believe what he was seeing.
It was almost too stupid to process.
Perhaps, the A plot of a sitcom he had not consented to be part of. Perhaps, a form of divine intervention punishing him for blasphemy and pride, firmly guided by its own self-importance. More likely, a parasitic thought coming up from the basement of his mind to taunt him before the sprint. They like to wake up when there is light upstairs, when he is finally doing well again.
It immediately became clear that it wasn’t a dark daydream playing tricks on him, however. Nightmares are bold and unsparing, certainly not afraid of little Lando Norris. Certainly wouldn’t hide their face at their eyes meeting, wouldn’t try to scurry away.
As much as it irritated him, made him lose track of what he had planned before the race, he couldn’t let you run. Couldn’t let you get away with showing your face around the paddock again, putting yourself at risk of getting caught by the cameras before he could give you a warning.
Lando didn’t have time to think about the consequences of the gossip that would ensue thanks to your caprice. He almost sprinted to you, capturing your arm in a firm grip.
“Hello?”
It rang loud in the heat of the moment, prompting the closest heads to turn to face the two of you.
“Lando,” you replied, volume low and tone as calm as you could muster, avoiding catching another glimpse in his direction.
You heard him exhale sharply behind you, hand travelling to the back of your neck, pressing on first vertebra he could feel beneath your skin. Continuing to walk, Lando led you to a quiet corner near the public bathrooms. He leaned in, breath ghosting past the shell of your ear. “May I ask exactly what brings you here of all places?”
His bratty tone triggered you even more than you had anticipated. You swallowed, keeping your expression stone cold. “I’m here to watch some racing. You know, one of the most normal things a person could be doing around here.”
He clicked his tongue, and you could sense him examining every detail of your appearance. Your parted lips letting a jagged breath escape. The oversized crewneck attempting to hide your enlarged belly, reminding him of the times when you used to borrow his clothes. Sunglasses to prevent you from being recognized, playing the same role as the unseen tint to your hair, arranged carefully with the intent to cover up the tattoo behind your ear - “I♡”, a Roman numeral. Lando couldn’t decide which detail hurt him the most.
“I see. Right after I lost the championship, which makes it all the more interesting, of course,” His words were laced with passive aggression, hand squeezing the skin around your spine. “So interesting you couldn’t, like, be satisfied with a screen… I mean, are you even allowed to travel, for fucks sake?!” He pressed a finger into the firmness of your belly.
You jerked away, finally turning to glare at him. “Don’t fucking touch me,” you mumbled, pulling down the hem of your sweatshirt. “Yes, I should be able to do so until week thirty-six. I’m healthy.”
Lando gave you a slow nod as he examined you, chewing on his lip. He seemed tense and somewhat worn out, the end of the year fast approaching, but it was the same man you had had on your mind for months. His eyes were soft and lively, with him sporting some light stubble on his face, same as when you had your last proper conversation; thick hair and eyebrows, a wild mess of curls you wished you could grab a handful of, even at that moment.
“Good,” he replied softly. “That’s a relief, then.”
You let out a cold laugh. “As of you give a fuck, suddenly.”
He straightened his back, drawing closer to you again. “It is still my baby,” he retaliated with a muted whine.
“In theory only. Which should be a relief to you. Now you have all the time in the world to be second.”
Disregarding your protest, Lando pulled you against himself, snatching away your sunglasses so that nothing was shielding you from his stare. “You bitch…!” He shook his head, almost as a warning. “Unlike you, I can be proud of myself.”
“Yeah...? Well. I ain't one to be controlling somebody's opinions. Good for you, Lando.”
No matter how well-intended your statement was - or wasn't -, it didn't fly with the boy in question. “I think you’ve said enough for today,” he gripped your arms tighter. His reply was full of contempt, with Lando making it clear his will to listen was much the same as his remaining respect for you. “I know why you’re here. You think you’re about to witness my downfall or something, that I’m getting weak. That you have a chance to embarrass me by any means possible.”
There was growing intensity to his voice, persistence. Lando didn’t process arguments like others would. He liked having an equal opponent to bounce off of, someone who could take his jabs and bite back. All because a part of him loved being bitten, torn down and mocked, so he would have a chance to see the vehemence in your eyes, hear the words picking him apart - so obsessed, so captured by the dance between you.
And sometimes, it hit just right, the soft spot on his underside that made him lie back and revel in the pain. It was the easiest thing to do. Give up the fight.
This didn’t seem like one of those days, however. Lando really did appear to be standing stronger after Vegas. There were urgent flames starting to appear in his gaze, accented by the orange color of his suit. He was hell bent on proving you wrong. Judging by the way his hands lingered on the sides of your belly, they would have been all over you had you two been in private.
You kept your cool, raising an eyebrow at him. “That sounds like a lot of work. You must be mistaken. I’m minding my own business; you are the one trying to insert yourself back into it.”
“Your business? Like you are going anything except fuck all.”
“Yes, very serious business. I need to find a good man to support me and my baby. There should be plenty around here." Pause. "Still, I can’t be picking just anybody.”
Lando was cut off mid inhale. He looked over you with near disgust, his grip tightening as thoughts of someone else possessing you clouded his mind. It was always too easy to rile him up that way. Make him reveal many of his least sufferable qualities, intensify the competition he was always part of, with both others and himself.
“Ah-hah. Who do you have eyes on, then?” he kept presssing, tongue running over his lips. “Tell me.”
You ran over some names for a second. “Lewis.”
He let out a laugh with a note of played up cruelty in it, flashing his teeth. “Shut up. That’s way out of your league.”
“Okay. Then, hm. Why don’t you tell me who would piss you off the most?” you mocked. “Always beefing with men with way more integrity than you. Like a spoiled little chihuahua.”
You pulled at his waist, which was molded perfectly for your palms, until your stomach was pressed against the solid muscles under his suit. As you looked up, his eyes were already on yours.
What a waste of a pretty face he was.
“Well, who? Oscar? Max?”
His cheeks grew redder at a rapid rate. “Don’t drag them into this. They’re both happily taken.”
“Yeah? And did that stop you from leaving?” You smirked, keeping your ground. “No. As I said, being a real man isn’t for everyone.”
Lando's eyes darkened. “All that talk, it’s funny, you know that. I’m sure you do, yet you’re quite shit at admitting you’ve messed up. Don’t look at me like that…” he snapped at the face you made.
“All this anger can’t be good for your body.” His fingers were back on the side of your belly, stroking gently. “All that… freaking idiocy. You chose to bang a guy at the highest point of his career – so far. A guy who wasn’t even twenty-five then, a guy who’d just won his first race. And for what? For me to leave everyone behind? You had a fucking chance; you had a chance to abort-”
“Maybe if you hadn’t tried to push your money into my face. Crying about how I was trying to trap you? Seriously?”
“Okay, whatever excuse you had,” he scoffs, laying his hand on one of the arms holding his waist. “But don’t come to me pretending like I fucked everything up. When you let yourself get pounded by guy who isn’t even a real man…”
“Lando…”
“And you loved it.” His voice had gotten close to a whisper, gaze softly studying your wide-eyed expression. “You were obsessed… I shouldn’t be surprised you kept the baby, you always wanted a piece of me, right?”
He smirked. “You still are, are you not? You missed me, it’s why you came. Just say it.”
Your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach. A fuck-up. Even a fool like him could see right through you.
His words were dirty, and they cut you deep. You could never forget those days, the pinnacle of your love him for him. How he had held you as they were snapping him with white light, bleaching the red flags in the distance into a warm pink that took over your eyes.
You had made love that same night, and you had been careless. You had said too much, things too strong to ever take back. He hadn’t understood, but you were sure he could remember everything.
It was all your fault, falling too deep, too soon.
“No,” you denied his claim, voice cracking.
“Yeeaah. Still obsessed with little old me…” he reached forward to pinch your cheek, grinning as if the battle had already been won. There was hunger in his eyes that made you flinch. “You want me the way I used to be. When nothing mattered as much as you.”
He could read what was on your mind through your eyes. The mirror of the soul.
Stupid fucking idiot. If only he were as dumb as people liked to think.
“Yes…”
It was almost inaudible. “Say what?”
“Forget it, Lando. Just… forget about me. I’m sorry, I made a m-”
There was the soft pad of his finger pressing on your lips.
“Shhh…”
Lando smiled at you like a wild animal he’s managed to tame, a beauty he could take all to himself now.
You closed your eyes, expecting what was coming.
He replaced his finger with his lips when he was an inch away and pressed hard. His exhale was absorbed by your skin as he pushed you closer to himself with his palm on the back of your neck, not letting you escape. He didn’t hesitate to wet your lips with his tongue, try to part them while you held on, freezing at the sensation of a hand having reached for your breast.
You let out a sob and felt him grinning against you. His teeth nipped at your lip, impatient and commanding, bruising the delicate skin. You refused to open up.
Lando pulled away just far enough to inhale, clawing at the bra under your clothes that was preventing him from feeling your skin.
“What? You literally just showed me that I was right. You pathetic fucking girl.”
This mockery was delivered the form of a quiet purr, teasing but insisting you to stay. At that point, nothing could hide you from Lando’s obvious arousal, the struggle that was your haughty, self-defeating mind making adrenaline flow through his body, much like rivalry between drivers. But you were more gorgeous than any shining trophy or livery, so enticingly vulnerable, a canvas he could see his own work displayed on.
His eyes were impossible to meet. If it were feasible, you would have had him kiss you with them. Burn your skin with the intensity of his gaze, then sooth you with the dreams he held in them, the coolness of light and his beautiful shade of green. Scar you with the batting of his lashes until you lost the ability to bleed for anybody else.
“Lan, we can’t.”
“You’re fucking crying…” he pointed out, his chuckle low and deep, wiping any sincerity from your words. “Yeah, we can. We will.”
You swallowed. You had never felt so feeble yet so willing to be. “Take me somewhere. Touch me, please, I need you--”
A dirty smirk formed on his face, despite which you let him tug you to one of the toilets, refusing to acknowledge the setting and directing all of your attention to his lips. After he locked the door, you were pressed against the wall in an instant, one of his hands moving up to your face and the other struggling to pull up the layers covering your stomach.
Lando’s look was utterly lewd as your swelling lips wrapped around his index and middle finger, sucking all the way up to his metacarpals as you squeezed his wrist with desperation. Your pupils, wide and glimmering in the low light of the room, were firmly focused on the veins on the back of his large hand, with Lando helping you roll up his sleeve to reveal them running further down his forearm.
You did not have the guts to face his insufferable grin. “Crazy, it’s all yours,” Lando laughed, conceited and mocking, reveling in the shameful thirst in your eyes. He looked down at his fingertips exploring the curve of your exposed belly, following their path with filth written all over his face. It was as if he’d discovered a muse, unexplored fertile land to roam and sow full of sin.
“Fuck,” he cursed, reaching lower to undo your jeans. You let Lando’s soaked fingers slip out of your mouth as your breath hitched, whimpering when his hand pushed aside your panties for a more enticing view.
He ogled at your clit peeking through an unshaved bush, flushed warm pink and begging for his touch. His finger went to brush past it, making you gasp and bend, and disappeared between the soaked lips of your pussy.
“You’re so fucking wet,” he muttered, glancing up with a bright, teasing flame in his green eyes, a look that understood the obscenity you were about to fall in the arms of. “For me.”
The word was accented in a manner that made your cheeks burn red in shame. You didn’t think you could admit to the disgraceful act of falling for him again, accept the way your body was reacting to his voice, his touch, his presence. He had you in full control, all but on your knees begging to be taken.
“How does that make you feel, huh?” Lando was grinning, his hand leaving your heat to undo his collar and pull down the zipper of his racing suit.
Your teeth were gnawing at your bottom lip unconsciously, heart about to leap out of your chest in a plea it was unable to scream.“Uhm… I-I missed this…”
“Missed what?” Lando asked with feigned innocence. “This?” He guided your arm to the bulge nestled in his uniform, pressing it into your open palm. A laugh escaped him as he batted his eyelashes at you with a pleased smirk plastered all over his face. “To think it made you into this,” he drawled as his other hand trailed from your baby bump up to your chest, cupping one of your tits and squeezing hard. “Am I being stupid or have they gotten bigger?”
“Yes to both,” you sighed as he began removing your top and sweatshirt, sliding them over your head. Your clothes and bra were tossed on the floor without care as Lando’s pupils grew wider at the sight of your enlarged breasts and areolas. There were darker stripes forming on your tummy and visible veins painted your chest, which made you flush under his gaze as you looked down. “You fucking ass.”
Lando did not let that fly. His hand wrapped around your neck, with a finger supporting the chin lifting it up to face him. “Was that one of your wishes right there?”
“No,” you gulped, raging need taking over your brain and making you unable to consider your own words. Your clit was silently throbbing and walls crying out in pain, begging for a hard dick taking you and stretching them out. “P-please… I need it in my pussy, Lando.”
He let out a breathless chuckle, with a low sound resembling a moan escaping his throat. “Ohhh. You’re begging, and I didn’t even have to ask. Fucking begging for my cock…”
Lando said these kinds of things not only to rile you up further, but also to help convince himself that they were somehow – miraculously – real. Earlier that day, he could never have guessed what he, what you would come to – and he would have done anything to make it happen. Your words and the sight of you were raw power, adrenaline flooding his veins, a vain delicacy for his horny and famished body.
His hands were trembling in anticipation as he wrestled out of the top half of his suit, letting it hang limp around his legs, and pushing his bottoms just low enough to free his aching dick. You stared at it with all thoughts but one wiped from your head while he rushed to peel off his skin-tight shirt, letting it fall from his fingers as he looked over you with a smirk.
This was between you, him, and whatever devil had gotten the better of you. It had really come to that. Throwing away everything you had convinced yourself of to feel his flesh against yours, to taste the rush of blood you had been missing for oh so long.
He leaned in to kiss you again, every bit of his body buzzing drunk with lust, his tongue warm and sticky against your lips when he moaned inside your mouth. “I hope he or she is asleep. I wouldn’t want mini me to witness the shit I’m about to do to you.”
Pulling down your undone jeans with your underwear and guiding himself in with the other hand, Lando entered your weeping pussy, curse words and groans erupting from his throat as soon as he’d felt the heat inside you.
“Oh my fucking God,” he exclaimed in a choked cry, “you – oh my dear, my God, you…”
You two were complete and unsalvageable wrecks. The only thing you could do was hold onto your belly for dear life as he began thrusting in and out of your oversensitive cunt, nails digging into one of your ass cheeks and pulling to spread you open wider. In return, your hand flew to squeeze one of his pecs, capturing his nipple between your fingers.
Lando was unceremoniously loud, with your own moans ringing out almost inaudible among his sounds and the wet noises filling the small space. “Ah, shit. Fuck. You’re, like… hotter inside. So, so fucking tight…”
Your hormones were rushing through your blood in silent triumph as he pounded you, each of his veins and the head of his dick bringing a distinct detail of the sensation. It didn’t take long before you were sore, so incredibly sensitive and weak against his raging body that you were trapped in a tight embrace with. You yelped and clawed as he hit your cervix, causing him to crush your shoulder in a death grip, startled.
“Fuck, are you alright?” Lando blurted out as he stopped, appearing dazed from the lack of air.
“Just spare my uterus, okay? The baby adds pressure from the inside,” you panted, leaning your head against his flushed, sweaty chest. “I feel like you’re crushing him, we’re too close into each other. Is there a…”
“You want me to take you from the back?” Lando breathed, running his fingers down your back with a dirty grin. “Oh, hell yes.”
You were bent over the bathroom sink, your arms folded to prevent you from slipping off the tiny surface, with Lando behind you with your hair wrapped tightly around his right hand as he groped one of your heavy hanging breasts with the other. He was obsessed with the sight, muttering such filth that it made you unable to open your eyes, to face the mirror mere inches ahead of you.
“Look at me.” His tone was derisive as he managed to stammer in between moans, tugging ruthlessly on your hair. You swallowed, turning your head to the side. “In front of you.”
Lando had, quite frankly and unfortunately, never looked as sexy before. His sweat soaked skin glimmered in the low light casting shadows that brought out his defined muscles and the cartilage in his throat accented with each gulp. His mullet had been turned into a wet, untamable mop of curls resting on the top of his head. Slick with tears, the almost girlish lashes framing his eyes appeared longer and thicker, unmistakably enviable.
Best and worst of all, despite of what had happened, despite the time that had passed, he was still yours. He fucked you like it meant something, cried out like it was the only thing that felt right, painted scars and bruises on your back as a reminder of your helplessness for him. One you will never cease to feel.
“Pathetic,” Lando mocked right in your ear, having laid the upper half of his body on top of yours, face buried in a heap of hair. “You’ve always been so fucking miserable for me.”
You responded with the loudest cry you could ever wish to let out, muted by his large hand covering your mouth, so overtaken by him that not a single cell of your body would have fought back. He expressed his approval with a deep thrust, showing you gratitude by moving his fingers to your swollen clit, swiping up and down with tiny, rapid movements.
“I love you. Fuck, I-… I need you so God damn bad. …I’m going to cum, I’m not stopping—"
He parted his fingers, letting you respond with a moan. “Yeah… Please, please just fill me, fill this pregnant fucking pussy…”
Your breath hitched as you cried out obscenities to your man, much like the filth that resulted in him getting you pregnant in Miami some months ago. Filth you could never abstain from, filth you could chant for hours as long as you were with Lando, merging your bodies as you were once again proving nothing on Earth was stronger than the material tying you together. You felt yourself growing weaker, unable to contain the pool of sensitivity having overtaken your intimates.
“I’m coming… Oh, Lando, holy fuck…”
Lando could feel your pulse through your cramping walls as you came, tightening around him again and again, milking his cock right inside you. He unloaded with a deep, tortured groan, whimpering as each wave of his orgasm punched him in the heart. It was everything he could ever have wanted and more. Your pregnant body warm and snug against his, crying out his name in love, so dependent on him it could be broken with one touch.
“Oh, my…. You’re just perfect,” Lando heaved, straightening his back, all shaky and weakened by the amazing finish you had gifted him. You watched his reflection he pulled out, slowly and with care, watching his cum trickle down between your folds all the way to your abused clit. He cleaned his softening cock by wiping the leftover filth off against your bush, praising you with a worshipful caress of your curves as he stuffed himself back inside his suit.
A yellowish liquid was leaking from the breast he had taken in his hand. Lando stopped you in your tracks, leaning down to bury his face in between your tender boobs, his warm lips and tongue not shying away from making you clean.
You gasped. Lando was purring, holding you tight in his powerful arms. Looking.
He had wrecked and built you back up, all just to blow everything you were into bits again. Made you a mess. A goddess. A hopeless starving animal. All to himself, in his own eyes.
In that moment, he had all of you to worship and adore. And he wanted to believe he wasn't stupid enough to let you slip away anymore.
“You may feel free to call me any names you want for leaving." He began after a long, soothing pause. "I am, admittedly, a huge fucking idiot.”
Still panting , you looked into his eyes in the mirror, your spine crying out in pain as you attempted to stand up straight. His words had you wanting to laugh. “Really, Lando?”
“…Is there a problem?”
Hugging your belly, you suddenly registered feeling cold. He rushed to pick your discarded clothes off the floor, offering them to you. You stared. “I dunno. Isn’t it funny how it took one good fuck for you to want to repent?”
“I-”
“I know you missed me. But I’m more than what I used to be, much more, and I don’t think you’ll be able handle it. It’s as you said.”
Lando gripped your garments in his fist as his jaw muscles tensed. For a moment, he considered saying something he’d regret. “I know. I need some time to think. A lot, maybe."
"But I’ll be keeping you close in the meantime, yeah?”
He stopped you from grabbing your underwear yourself, instead motioning you to stretch out your arms so he could dress his woman with his own hands. This Lando was more gentle than any version of him you could remember.
His palm was warm and protective against your abdomen, rubbing soothing circles as he helped you pull your pants up again. ““He”, you said?”
How hard he was trying. Not a winner amongst men, but it was him. One you wished you would never have to move on from.
For a vulnerable girl, it was easy to fall again.
You sighed. “Yes. For the record, I haven’t decided on anything yet.”
Lando’s eyes lit up as he grinned. “I kind of wish he was here already. He would really… love… watching me drive.”
His smile slowly disappeared as panic set in. “Oh god. I’m such an idiot.”
“Oh really? Haven’t we discussed?” you smirked, watching as Lando hurriedly put his racing suit back into shape. “In any case, don’t use this information to rear-end a Williams or a VCARB before the end of the season. This stays between us for now.”
“Okay, damn,” Lando pushed your shoulder playfully, adjusting his collar in the mirror and making sure his mullet wasn’t looking too shabby. You snuck your hand inside his hairdo, messing it up again. You had to. “Fuck you. This is all your fault. That pussy was so good I lost track of time.”
You lifted an eyebrow. “Weak.”
Lando turned to you one last time before unlocking the door, a wicked smirk plastered across his face. You didn’t have to wait for each other to lean in. It felt longer than a lifetime while you were kissing and shorter than a moment after he pulled away, your fingers still lost somewhere between his curls. His eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings as he gave a look to the brightest, smallest facet of his family.
“I gotta sprint, dear.” He gave you puppy-dog eyes. “You’re staying, I hope.”
You nodded. Lando reached for the hand in his hair, squeezing it in one of his. “Come watch with my mum! She can't stop asking me questions. Please.”
“But-”
“I want her to know. Don’t hide it. I ought to be a man.” He grinned, lifting your interlocked fingers up to his lips.
Perhaps a ring was too early. Perhaps it was too late. Perhaps it would never happen.
But in that moment, a kiss was more than enough.
For that weekend, he would stay.
“I’ll do you proud, okay? Let’s go.”
That weekend, you felt like you were doing to be alright.
🧡 a/n (footnote): as you may know, in the sprint following the events of this fic, he returned the favor to oscar by letting him pass, which made many people warm up to him again. he would have made me very proud :) i hope this was at the very least not terrible, as i haven't finished a proper chapter or oneshot in quite a while. i literally never like my own works after finishing, so please let me know what you think! any corrections are welcome! i strive for accuracy and studied lando's speech quite a bit while writing. thank you for reading and have a good one loves!
#lando norris#ln4#lando norris smut#lando norris angst#lando norris x reader#lando norris x you#formula 1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#idk whether i should laugh or kill myself#anon request
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Okay because everyone who reads this seems to be stupid lets do some clarification, on AI and data centers. Is AI using more power and water than anything else in the world and singlehandedly ruining the world and the environment? No. Is it using more power than some small countries and within the next 20 years going to account for double digit percentage of the energy and water by the entire world? Yes! AI uses way more power than normal Internet usage infact this article tells us this a single chatGPT question takes 30mL of water the fact that a lot of other things listed are measured in how much is used in 30 minutes/or an hour should be rather telling. Many applications of chatGPT that are not just using it's online prompt but using its various API make more than 1 request a minute (meaning in an hour 1800mL) this comparison now does not seem as favourable especially with everything using AI. If a Google search previously used 0.3 watt-hours it now uses 3 watt-hours, this is a lot when we start adding it up. It is true without doubt that AI uses more energy and more power than similar things in the internet without AI, this is a good reason to be critical of adding it to things we are adding energy cost to things that already cost nonzero energy.
https://www.npr.org/2024/07/10/nx-s1-5028558/artificial-intelligences-thirst-for-electricity
Google itself reports that it's emissions have increased by 50% largely due to its increased usage of AI, spending more energy for not much actual benefit is bad, particularly if we think about how we just passed the 1.5 degree milestone for heating which is really fucking bad! We should be decreasing our energy by any amount, not increasing it for no fucking benefit!
AI currently accounts for 1-2% of the worlds energy and water usage and Goldman sacks predicts this increasing by 2030 to 3-4% this is bad! https://www.goldmansachs.com/insights/articles/AI-poised-to-drive-160-increase-in-power-demand
If you don't wanna believe me because I'm a Tumblr user who doesn't even study this what do I know, surely the substance person knows more. Well don't worry some people way smarter than me at Yale want to tell you this too.
Is animal agriculture, (and agriculture in general) using a lot of water yeah no one is disagreeing with this, but to use it as an argument that AI is fine is just the classic comic strip by Matt Bors of you critique society yet you live in it curious. It is irrelevant to the current discussion. This is a different post, discussing the issues of Animal agriculture, caring and talking about AI issues isn't taking away space or taking away the conversation about animal agriculture. Climate change is caused by a wide spectrum of issues and discussion of one of the issues doesn't make the others less important. Will use of AI singlehandedly bring forth the destruction of the world and set earth on fire? No, ofc it won't. It sure as hell not help the fact we are already doing that by increasing our already strained power though. But I would like to add the moves by Microsoft and Google to use Nuclear power are actually really good! It will lessen emissions that would be caused by their increasing AI usage tremendously, should they just not use stupid power... Yeah ofc, but that is not going to happen, this is America money is greater than any number of lives, than any number of floods and fires, than any increase in temperature. Nuclear power is good, our energy usage isn't going to suddenly come down nor are we going to invent a magic device to fix everything.
I think almost all of the environmental case against AI is factually incorrect fear mongering, or "misinformation"
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▹ Jeff the Killer Headcanons
Basic NSFW & SFW headcanons of my favorite creep! I’m so sorry I’ve been out for so long, I’ll try to post more!
Warnings: kidnapping, murder, nsfw content
Disclaimer: Everyone is welcome on my page and I will not turn you away. However, it is your fault if you’re uncomfortable or peeved with my writing because I give multiple warnings prior to my content. thanks!
Appearance
⇀ I will not lie and say I grew up seeing Jeff as an accurate representation of what a burn victim would look like. I grew up with the skinny anime looking boy that most of us know as “Jeff the Killer”. Here are a few ways that I see Jeff different than how I used to see him when I was younger.
⇀ I honestly see him standing at around 5’7-5’9. I don’t expect him to be super tall like LJ, but not super short like BEN.
⇀ His skin is less of a white pigment and more pink since his skin has been burnt off and exposed. His skin has healed over time, making it look more like shitty patchwork over what a good recovery should look like.
⇀ I doubt he’d have hair but for the sake of fan service, if he did, it would probably be greasy. If he’s not living at the Wisconsin Sanctum for Wayward Boys (slendermansion) he’s not able to shower so he’d look dirty. No shower = no washing hair = greasy hair, scalp buildup and hair loss. In reality, Jeff would looked chopped AF.
⇀ His style hasn’t changed much from when he was 13. White hoodie and his black dress pants. He wears what’s practical and what he can get his hands on. If he did take the time to actually find clothing he approves of, I’d see him mostly being into something edgy.
⇀ Would have piercings but it would hurt like a bitch because his skin and tissues didn’t heal normally. He doesn’t mind because he likes the pain.
⇀ His glasgow smile heals overtime and he doesn’t mind it, but will occasionally carve it back open if he feels like it since it’s his signature look.
Personality
⇀ Edgelord.
⇀ People may say this is overdone, but I also see him as an arrogant asshole. There’s just something about him that screams, “I have a big ego and I’m going to make it everyone’s problem”.
⇀ Gets really pissed off when you call him his government or first name, “Jeffrey”, “Jeffrey Alan Woods”. He would tell you to shut the fuck up and to never say it again.
⇀ His sense of humor is twisted AF. He could be chatting with you and he’s suddenly bringing up how he tortured this poor school girl he kidnapped a few days ago and how much she was screaming, then laughs about it obnoxiously. The topic of the conversation was strawberries.
⇀ Doesn’t matter if it’s a person, place, or thing, Jeff is going to be obsessed with it if it catches his attention because he can’t like something like a normal person. One night he had ran into a girl that had managed to escape him, so he decided to stalk her to entertain himself, and now she’s all you hear about. “I can’t wait to sink my blade into her throat”, “I can’t wait to kill that fucking bitch. She kicked me in the balls”.
⇀ Has street smarts but is really dumb academically because he went crazy during 7th grade. He also mainly works off of impulse and never thinks before he speaks. All bite and bark.
⇀ Has a big ego. He’s obsessed with his own appearance and it’s hard for him to find anyone he deems attractive because his ideal type is basically himself.
⇀ Being completely serious, his type would be someone feisty and strong. Someone who can put up with his shit. He doesn’t like timid people or pushovers. He likes it even more if they can come up with run-on insults on the fly. He might save one of those for later.
⇀ Thick thighs, boobs > ass
Relationships
⇀ He’s toxic as hell and don’t even think for a second he’s not.
⇀ Gaslighter and manipulator.
⇀ Would never outright say that he “loves you”. His love language is acts of service, so he’d do small things for you like pick up something from one of his kills that reminded him of you and leave it at your door. He’d never willingly show the affection he has for you.
⇀ While we’re on that topic, he can be quite…different when it comes to romantic gestures. Gift giving was one thing, but he might even go the extra mile by carving your name into his own skin or random objects.
⇀ If you’re one of the creeps, he’d most likely loathe you at first but become attracted to your power. If you’re a normal person, he might’ve found interest for you while he was out on one of his kills and stalked you enough to feel something for you.
⇀ He is extremely obsessive and protective, often “marking you” so none of the other creeps lay a hand on you if you’re also a proxy living in the mansion. If you’re a normal person, he’s often stalking you. If he witnesses you getting bullied or harassed, the attacker ends up dead later that night.
⇀ Gets very jealous very easily. Be careful with him because it can get really ugly.
⇀ Platonic or romantic, everyone has to be careful around him. Jeff can go from being chill to being hotheaded in only a few seconds. Arguments often happen because of his low patience, leading to wavering trust and security in the relationship.
NSFW Beyond this point
⇀ Doesn’t usually call you pet names, but when he does it’s usually “Babe”, “Doll”, “Sweet Cheeks”, “My Girl”, “My Bitch”. (Girls, if your man is calling you “his bitch”, leave him immediately!!!)
⇀ Very rough in bed. He doesn’t hold back when it comes to marking you, leaving any spot untouched bruised and covered with hickeys.
⇀ His kinks are rather…questionable. You guessed he’d be into bondage, choking, and role play, but you weren’t expecting him to hold a gun or knife to your head or throat mid blowjob. He thrives on seeing your scared and confused expression while you suck him off.
⇀ Doesn’t care for aftercare. He cleans you up with a towel then slumps for the rest of the night. He could blow your back out, have you screaming all night then leave you shivering on the side of the bed with no blanket, snoring obnoxiously.
⇀ Before he met you, he would usually find one lucky girl whenever he’s in the mood to fuck. He wouldn’t force her, obviously. He’s a killer, not a monster. He would then leave without another trace, not caring enough to go back to her. It depends whether or not he’s in a good mood if he’ll kill her right after or spare her. He’s probably gotten someone pregnant and is unknowingly a deadbeat dad.
⇀ Six inches is all I’m going to say.
#x reader#headcanon#jeffery woods x reader#jeff the killer x reader#jeff the killer#jeff the killer x reader smut#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta#creepypasta proxy#marble hornets#slender proxy#proxy
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teach please me — tutor!reader x soccer player!rafe
reader's life is meticulously planned, from high school to becoming president of the country—she knows exactly where she's headed and every step to get there. but her airtight plan hits a snag when the principal ropes her into tutoring rafe cameron, the school’s star soccer player, who’s failing algebra and at risk of being benched next season. the team needs him on the field, and reader needs the principal’s glowing recommendation to secure her spot at her dream school. balancing her ambitious goals with rafe’s chaotic charm might just throw her perfectly crafted plan off track.
word count — 2.3 chapter index — prev. chap. — next chap. masterlist
eight
sunday, february 2nd
you've gotten the question 'how do you do it?' a couple of times in your life. you've always been the kind to never stop running, never stop moving, never stop working, just never stop. never even take a break, really. any 'free' time was an opportunity to do something useful or productive.
you're pretty sure you never really 'cracked the code'. the code was kind of built inside of you, weirdly embedded in your brain. you've always been disciplined, you've always known that small, deliberate actions over time were the only way to stay consistent. it does help that you've always had this purpose or reason to do it.
you knew what you wanted, who you wanted to be.
you knew that commiting, sticking to the plan was the only way to get there.
in order to stick to a plan, there had to be a plan.
it makes sense that you wrote out an entire two page document, detailed and in depth with graphs, sources and pictures explaining your complete approach to getting over rafe and putting some much needed space between you two.
you're picking your nails, a habit you'd abandoned years ago after a rather brutal pull that ended with you in tears while your dad disinfected your bleeding thumb.
now here you were again, staring at the dining room table you'd temporarily transformed into a desk for rafe's tutoring session. step one of your plan was distance, of course. you had to block him away emotionally and him wandering around in your room, letting his smell linger, leaving his clothes or his stuff sitting there for days, lying in your bed. it was too close. too personal.
your room was a sanctuary, it was essentially your place of work and your home all at the same time. it had to feel serene and cleansed from distractions like feelings for boys.
the table was set up the same way your desk was: his notebook, pencil and calculator neatly placed on the table. you even placed a bottle of water right there so he didn't need to go wandering into your kitchen for anything. there was no need for him to walk around your house.
you would sit diagonal to him, working on the valentine's day cards which you were super behind on because you spent multiple days being too upset to even look at a heart-shaped-anything.
your dad was also sitting in the living room working on his laptop which somehow made it feel even more impersonal. it was perfect.
the doorbell rang and you froze for a moment. "are you gonna open that..or should i?" your dad called from the living room and you jumped into action. "uh! no, it's rafe. i'm going, sorry." you're rushing to the door and take a deep breath. "just be casual, be normal." you whisper to yourself before opening the door.
don't even think about how good he looks or smells or just how good it feels to even be in his viscinity. don't. don't. don't. shut up. don't.
"hey." he says as you move to the side to let him in. "hi. was the..drive good? any traffic?" what kind of a stupid question was that? this town had less than 50 000 people. there was never that much traffic.
he seems to be confused by the question as well, "no, no..traffic. it's sunday.."
"that is.. good. really good." you stand there with your hands behind your back as he takes his shoes off and when he walks over to you, in front of the stairs, he gives you a look and raises his brows. "are we gonna go up?" he slowly asks and you press your lips together and shake your head. "so, actually. i had this really fun idea that we could just..stay down here." you gesture to the dining room down the hall.
he looks at where you're gesturing before he looks at you again. "you want to stay down here?" he questioned, eyes boring into yours. "mm, i would like to stay down here..it's..i—it doesn't really matter where we sit, right?"
he blinks at you, lips parted. "right," he says softly and you nod and repeat after him before turning and heading into the dining room. he followed and his eyes immediately went to the table set up before glancing at your dad. "hey, y/d/n." he says and your dad greets him back, this big smile on his face that kind of makes you want to shove him. this boy broke his little girl's heart and he was just smiling at him? okay, sure, he doesn't know that it even happened but he should just sense those things. is that too much to ask?
you don't waste any time. the minute rafe sits down, you're getting into the lesson. "alright, last lesson we covered how to solve systems of equations by graphing, substitution and elimination. do you feel like there's one or multiple methods that you struggled with the most when you were doing the exercises?"
he looks at you, seemingly lost for a moment. "before we start, can we just—"
you tense. "maybe during the break. so, any issues?" it seems like he sees the momentary panic in your face because his eyes soften before he nods and exhales, "i..i guess with the graphing, i struggled with the overlapping lines and the parallel ones and for substitution, isolating variables and variables in general is still a shaky one."
you nod and stand right next to him, reading his notes carefully. "you're not gonna sit?" he looks at you. you don't look at him. "i'm okay, so, for the overlapping lines and parallel, what you need to remember is overlapping lines represent infinitely many solutions and parallel lines is the concept of no solution or an inconsistent system. it's kind of confusing but once you can set those apart and remember what they mean, it gets easier." you flip his page then, "and for the variables, i can see that you forgot to solve for the second variable a couple of times. remember that after finding one variable, you have to plug it back in to find the other."
"wait, but i thought when i did this, i was solving for the second variable…?" rafe points at his page, eyebrows furrowed as his pencil drags under a line of equations. "because i brought this one over."
you lean closer, bending over his notebook to see what he’s pointing at. "no," you say, tilting your head toward him. "i explained this last time, but you were too busy trying to braid my hair instead of listening, remember?"
he cracks a lopsided smile, the kind that always threatens to make your knees weak. "just trying to grow my skillset," he murmurs, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.
you roll your eyes but can’t help the smirk tugging at your lips. "anyway," you say, nudging his pencil aside gently, "what you’re actually doing here is moving the term over to isolate one variable first. see? once that’s done, then you substitute it into the second equation to find the other variable."
you wait for his usual reaction, the quiet "ohhh" that always follows whenever he finally pieces something together. but the silence stretches, and when nothing comes, you turn to him. "you get… it?" the words falter on your lips as your gaze meets his, and the rest of the room seems to fall away.
he’s already staring at you, his eyes steady and unrelenting. they’re warm, piercing, and hold a depth you can’t even begin to describe. you don’t even have time to process how close you are, how his breath brushes faintly against your cheek, or how the faint furrow of his brow softens as he takes you in.
you feel caught, anchored by something invisible yet impossibly strong. your heart hammers so loud in your chest you’re sure he can hear it. the air around you thickens, heavy with unspoken words and unacknowledged tension. it’s as if the world has narrowed to just the two of you, and nothing could pull you out of this moment.
remember the plan. remember the plan. you try to tell yourself but then his eyes flicker down for the briefest second, not enough to seem deliberate, but enough to send your pulse skyrocketing. when they meet yours again, it feels like he’s trying to tell you something without saying a word. it’s overwhelming, consuming, and utterly impossible to look away.
your breath catches, the intensity growing unbearable. you’re drowning in the weight of it—this connection, this magnetism that shouldn’t feel as monumental as it does. and just when you think you might give in, might let yourself fall into whatever this moment is, you tear yourself away.
your eyes drop to the notebook in front of you, your hands fumbling to straighten the page unnecessarily. "so, um… yeah, just try the new exercises i made and i'm here if you need help," you say, your voice a pitch higher than usual, and you can feel your face burning. you bee-line for the kitchen before you actually make the situation worse.
you paced in the kitchen for a couple of minutes before casually walking back into the dining room. you slid into your seat and could feel rafe's eyes on you but you refused to look up. you willed yourself to focus on the notes and hundreds of pink and red enveloppes in front of you.
the entire session went the same way. you worked on your envelopes, and rafe worked on his exercises. you answered his questions when needed, but you never moved from your spot.
near the end of the lesson, your dad's voice carried from the doorway, casual and warm. "rafe, are you eating dinner with us?" it had become a bit of a routine—your sessions almost always wrapped up around dinner time. but tonight, you’d planned for this.
"no, not today," you answered for him.
your dad hesitated, clearly surprised to hear your voice instead of rafe's. his confusion deepened when he glanced at you, taking in your stern expression. after a moment, he nodded sharply, muttering, "got it," before disappearing down the hall toward the kitchen.
"what was that?"
"what was what?"
rafe stood, pushing his chair back with a scrape. for a moment, you thought he might just leave, but instead, he stopped at the doorway, turning back to you. his eyes pinned you in place. "come here," he said firmly, his voice low but unyielding.
you blinked at the demand, your body rooted to the spot. "what—"
his jaw tightened. without repeating himself, he walked straight to you, his movements deliberate, his frustration radiating off him like heat. you thought he’d just grab your wrist and tug you to your feet, but instead, he did something much more dramatic.
"rafe, what are you—"
before you could finish, he bent down, his arms looping around your waist as he hauled you over his shoulder with ease.
"rafe!" you yelped, your voice higher than you’d like as you squirmed against him. "what the hell are you doing?"
he didn’t answer. didn’t even flinch. he just turned and started walking, his steps firm and purposeful as he carried you up the stairs like you weighed nothing. you slapped his back and demanded to be put down, but it was like talking to a brick wall.
he set you down, right on the edge of your bed. you jumped to your feet immediately, but he was already there, standing in front of you, so close you could feel his breath. the proximity was overwhelming, so you sat back down again, instinctively creating space.
"rafe—"
"no. i’ll do the talking now." his tone left no room for argument. he pulled your chair from your desk, dragging it a little too roughly across the floor before sitting down, facing you. you felt the weight of his gaze, the intensity of his stare, and for a split second, you felt small—like a kid about to get scolded by the principal.
"i don’t know what happened last week. i don’t know why you won’t talk to me. i can’t help but assume that you either aren’t ready to talk or just don’t want to talk to me, but i can figure out that i’ve done something to upset you. i can’t force you to open up, but if you don’t… i won’t know what the hell i’m doing. i’ll apologize, because, honestly, i just want this," he waved a hand toward you, your whole being, "to stop."
he leaned forward, his voice steady, firm. "you’re ignoring me at school, you barely answer my texts, and we won’t even talk about how you yelled at me on wednesday because clearly, you don’t want to talk about that either. i’ll never bring any of it up again, if that’s what you need from me. but now? you’re shutting me out completely. we can’t even sit in your room? i can’t stay for dinner, you won’t sit next to me—what the hell is this all supposed to mean?"
his gaze was unwavering. "i want to fix it. i want to make things right. but if you won’t let me, if you refuse to even try, you can’t act like i’m the enemy. you can’t be pissed at me, not tell me why, and then shut me out and act like i'm somehow misunderstanding the situation. that’s not how this works."
his voice was tight, but there was no shouting. just a clear, deliberate force.
"okay." you nod after a moment. "okay?" he repeats and you nod after him. "you're right. i'm not being fair, it's just..i d-don't really—i w-want to—"
he stops you the moment you start to struggle, "don't. don't force yourself to tell me anything if you don't want to. i just don't want to lose this. " he says and your mind immediately flashes to him with adriana before you can even delusionalise yourself into thinking he meant that in a romantic way.
"i know..and our friendship is important to me too. i just.." you start slowly and he's looking at you with these, big, kind, hopeful eyes. "i am a very type-a person—"
"you don't say."
you glare at him, "—and i work well with planning, order, organization. i don't like mess. i don't like things that don't go my way. now, please, do not take this the bad way because i promise, i don't want you gone, you aren't a burden," you beg quietly and he nods reluctantly, "but..this..situation we've found ourselves in has significantly.." you pause and search for the right word, "upset my balance and i think that the bonfire was a bit much. that is all. i j-just..got my period that day and i've been doing all this stuff that i usually don't do like not following my schedule by the letter so i needed to let it all sink in a bit and i process things in a very specific way which makes me lose sight of other people's feelings sometimes but i'll try to stop. i promise." you say and rafe raises his brows, "yeah?" he asks and you nod, faint smile on your lips when he grins because it's impossible to not smile with a grin as contagious as his.
safe to say you didn't stick to the plan.
chapter index — prev. chap. — next chap. taglist — @rafeysworldim19 @my-name-is-baby @pogueprincesa let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist & interact with post to remain tagged <3
#novawrites#teachme#soccerplayer!rafe#tutor!reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x you#outer banks smut#fluff#smut#angst#rafe obx#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe blurb#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe outer banks#eventual virginity loss#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fluff#john b routledge#pope heyward#kiara carrera#sarah cameron#outer banks#obx#dividers by cafekitsune
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ZB1 REALISING THEY FELL FOR THEIR BESTFRIEND
genre : ot9, fluff “ 🧺 .*
김지웅 kim jiwoong
Jiwoong would notice his feelings quietly, during a moment when you’re laughing or doing something mundane. He’d feel a pang in his chest and think, Why does this feel so different now? Jiwoong is someone who values control over his emotions, so he’d likely try to keep things normal.
Over time, his actions would subtly shift. He’d linger a bit too long after walking you home, or his texts would become more thoughtful. One evening, as you both sit on a park bench under the stars, he’d finally let his feelings slip.
Jiwoong: “You know, being with you makes everything feel… easier. Happier. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I… I think I’ve fallen for you. I don’t want to risk ruining what we have, but I can’t pretend anymore.”
성한빈 sung hanbin
Hanbin’s first instinct upon realizing his feelings would be panic. He’d smile through the confusion, but internally he’d be thinking, This can’t be happening. What if I ruin our friendship? He’d probably talk to someone he trusts to figure out what to do, all while being extra attentive toward you.
One evening, after you’ve spent the day together laughing and sharing stories, he’d muster the courage to bring it up.
Hanbin: “I’ve been meaning to tell you something… I think I’ve started seeing you differently lately. I’m not sure when it happened, but… I think I’ve fallen for you. I care about you so much, and I just hope you can feel the same.”
장하오 zhanghao
Zhanghao’s realization would hit him during a quiet moment—like when you’re both reading or working on something together. He’d glance at you and suddenly feel his heart race. His first thought would be, Oh no… this is dangerous.
Zhanghao isn’t one to bottle things up for too long. After spending a week analyzing his feelings, he’d decide to confess in a straightforward but warm way. Over coffee, he’d break the silence.
Zhanghao: “I need to tell you something, and I want you to know I’ve thought about it carefully. I think I’ve fallen for you. I know this changes everything, but you’re too important for me to not be honest.”
석매튜 seok matthew
Matthew would be adorably clumsy about the whole situation. When he first realizes he has feelings for you, he’d start stammering or avoiding eye contact whenever you’re around. He’d try to act normal, but his little gestures—like remembering your favorite drink or texting you late at night—would give him away.
Eventually, he wouldn’t be able to hold it in. During a casual hangout, he’d blurt it out unexpectedly.
Matthew: “Okay, I can’t keep this in anymore! I like you. Like, really like you. You’re my best friend, and I know this might sound crazy, but I don’t think I can keep pretending I don’t feel this way.”
김태래 kim taerae
Taerae’s feelings would sneak up on him gradually. He’d notice how much happier he feels when you’re around, how your smile stays in his mind long after you’ve left. Being the artistic and emotional person he is, he’d likely channel his emotions into music first.
One day, he’d ask you to listen to a song he wrote. As the melody fills the air, the lyrics would describe his feelings—how he fell for his best friend and is scared but hopeful. When the song ends, he’d look at you nervously.
Taerae: “I’ve been writing this for a while because I didn’t know how else to tell you… I like you. More than just a friend.”
리키 ricky
Ricky would try to act like nothing’s changed, but his behavior would say otherwise. He’d tease you more often, throwing playful comments your way to hide his nervousness. Behind the scenes, he’d overthink every interaction, wondering if you feel the same.
Eventually, his confident exterior would crack, and he’d decide to tell you in his own charming way. During a late-night walk, he’d turn to you with a soft smile.
Ricky: “You know, you’re the only person who can make me nervous. I realized it’s because I’ve started liking you—more than a friend should. I don’t know how you feel, but I had to tell you.”
김규빈 kim gyuvin
Gyuvin would be hilariously awkward about his feelings. He’d start stumbling over his words around you, his ears turning red whenever you’re near. The other members would tease him relentlessly for how obvious he’s being.
After working up his courage, he’d sit you down one evening and try to explain.
Gyuvin: “Okay, so… this is really hard for me to say, but I like you. Like, really like you. And I know I’m being super awkward, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.”
박건욱 park gunwook
Gunwook would be in denial at first, brushing off his feelings as just admiration. But when he catches himself thinking about you constantly, he’d realize it’s more than that. He’d try to impress you subtly—showing off his skills or taking extra care to support you.
Finally, he’d choose a bold but heartfelt moment to confess, like when you’re both watching a sunset together.
Gunwook: “You mean a lot to me. More than just a friend. I don’t know when it happened, but I’ve fallen for you. And I’d do anything to make you happy, whether or not you feel the same.”
한유진 han yujin
Yujin would be the shyest about his feelings. He’d blush whenever you’re around and would try to avoid making it obvious, but his small acts of kindness—like sharing his snacks or sending you cute messages—would give him away.
One day, he’d finally confess in the sweetest, most innocent way. He’d hand you a small gift, like a handwritten letter, and nervously mumble his feelings.
Yujin: “I… I wanted to tell you something. You’re really important to me, and I think… I think I like you. I know this might be sudden, but I hope you understand how much you mean to me.”
#zb1#zb1 fics#zb1 fluff#zb1 imagines#zb1 jiwoong#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone#zerobaseone fluff#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 zhang hao#zb1 gunwook#zb1 matthew#zb1 hanbin#zb1 ricky#zb1 yujin#zb1 taerae#zb1 gyuvin#zb1 fanfic#kpop fanfic#fanfic#kpop reactions#kpop#kpop fic#kpop bg#zerobaseone fics#zerobaseone reactions#zb1 reactions
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I've got one for a reader who has burn scars like the character below with the danganronpa girls Kaede akamatsu, mahiru koizumi,,Ibuki mioda Tenko chabashira and Kirumi tojo and he's insecure about his relationship with them because of his burn scars causing them to reassure him of their love for him.
Kaede,mahiru,ibuki,tenko, and kirumi with a scarred reader
Kaede akamatsu
Kaede is an incredibly caring and sweet person, and even more as a girlfriend, she loves every part of you including your scars and burns
It genuinely doesn't bother her at all, and she actually thinks make you look even cuter than you already are
If you're OK with it she'd love to kiss your scars every night whenever you cuddle just to show you how much she loves them, she also makes sure she doesn't hug you too tightly just in case they still hurt
She can't understand why you would feel insecure about your relationship. She has already made it very clear that she loves your scars and will never leave you, but she will remind you how many times is necessary
"Baby, I already told you I love you so much and will never leave you. Your scars are a part of you that I love like all the others"
Mahiru koizumi
Mahiru also doesn't mind your scars at all. Sure, she was surprised when she saw them for the first time but she doesn't understand why you would be so self conscious about her
She genuinely thinks they're beautiful, she compliments them a lot and says how unique they make you look
Her main way of showing you how much she loves them is taking pictures of them, she'd love to just snap a lot of pictures of all your scars and burns and put them in a big album just for you two
If hiyoko ever says something about you or your scars, she will receive such a big earful from mahiru
"Y/n, listen to me, don't be embarrassed about your body it's beautiful, and I have hundreds of pictures to prove it"
Ibuki mioda
Ibuki thinks your scars are so cool. They genuinely might be her favorite part of your body, she says they make you look so badass
The first time she saw them, she gasped and asked if you got them fighting a dragon, and she kept that enthusiasm for all of your relationship. She genuinely can't stop complimenting them
She also loves to kiss your scars and draw patterns with her fingers on them while you cuddle. Sometimes, she specifically puts lipsticks to leave marks on them
She wrote a song about you (one of the many), and in the lyrics, she told you how she loved you and your scars were the coolest thing ever to her, she'd yell it to the entire world if you still felt insecure
"*gasp* what are you saying y/n? Ibuki thinks your scars are the most awesomazing thing in the whole world, you know you're super cool right? Cause I'll write another song about it if you don't"
Tenko chabashira
Tenko also thinks your scars are very cool they remind her of battle scars, and they make you look like a cool fighter to her
she constantly asks you if a degenerate male gave you those, and you always say no, but she still continues asking....she just wants to make sure that you're not lying and feel comfortable around her.....and also wants to go beat up the hypothetical guy who hurt you
Speaking of, she will absolutely beat the hell out of anyone who says anything even remotely negative about how you look, especially if it's a guy, if it's a girl she'll ask her to stop before acting but if it's a male then they should just say their prayers
Tenko loves you with or without scars. In fact, they just make you look cooler to her so she'd never leave you
"Y/n, what are you saying? Didn't I already say that your scars just make you so cool, I love them, and they're beautiful, and any degenerate male who says otherwise will have to face me!"
Kirumi tojo
Kirumi treats your scars simply like they're another completely normal part of you. She loves everything about you, and your scars are no different
She liked to tell you how cute and beautiful your scars are and how handsome they make you look, especially whenever she's washing you when you're bathing or showering together. She just really likes rubbing and caressing them
If anyone (kokichi) insults you for your body and scars she will simply scold them telling them that they shouldn't comment about people's appearances and then kiss you reminding you of how much she loves you and your scars
Whenever you're feeling down because of how you look, she's very quick to remind you that you're handsome the way you look and that she loves you so much also because of your scars not despite them
"Dear, please look at me, I love you, all of you scars, burns and all, I will always love you no matter what and your body will never make me change my mind"
#danganronpa x reader#danganronpa#x reader#danganronpa 2 goodbye despair x reader#danganronpa 2 x reader#danganronpa 2 goodbye despair#danganronpa 2#danganronpa v3 x reader#danganronpa v3#kaede akamatsu x reader#kaede akamatsu#mahiru koizumi x reader#mahiru koizumi#tenko chabashira x reader#tenko chabashira#ibuki mioda x reader#ibuki mioda#kirumi tojo x reader#kirumi tojo#x male reader#male reader#kaede akamatsu x male reader#ibuki mioda x male reader#tenko chabashira x male reader#kirumi tojo x male reader#mahiru koizumi x male reader
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Dear Bri,
I do NOT give a fuck about how many people have already gotten on your ass about this situation, and nobody else does either. As somebody who is a victim of SA multiple times, It’s my turn.
The fact more and more victims keep coming forward saying you constantly kept making them uncomfortable and disgusted of themselves IS FUCKING SICKENING! you are a 28 year old grown woman who has a child living in your household.
Your intentions were made clear and in your fuck ass apology you stated “my wanting for friends wasn’t made clear” it obviously wasnt. Asking MINORS, can I say it loud enough MINORS about their personal and sexual experiences is far beyond the line of what’s okay to ask a minor about.
And let alone, you shouldn’t be making friends with little girls / boys / people WHO ARE CHILDREN. You are a fucking predator and at this rate need to get off the internet fully if your parents still haven’t taught you what’s okay and what’s not okay to put on the internet.
preying on naive children on the internet is fucking disgusting; and to make your grave deeper, you’ve openly admitted to ‘crushing’ on minors. THE SAME MINORS YOU WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH? I hope your child is safe and is soon to be kept away from you because plenty have seen what you can do behind a screen.
I hope the children and teens YOUVE made uncomfortable soon feel safe on this app and don’t have to experience something as disgusting as this again. You need help, you need therapy, and you need to face the consequences of your vile actions.
Tens by tens there are more children and teens coming forward sharing similar experiences of ‘grooming’ FROM YOU. you are mentally fucking ill and no words can describe how gross you are for taking advantage of people 10 years younger than yourself.
I guess 28 years isn’t enough to get normal internet rules & laws through your thick fucking skull. You had only posted a lame ass apology because your old ass got caught. You should be ASHAMED of yourself and I hope you realize the damage you caused on these people.
as somebody who is half your age, and on the behalf of other people my age too— we shouldn’t have to act like the adults in this kind of situation. And you shouldn’t act like a clueless child on the internet.
Don’t put children through this, and I by Gods grace hope your child doesn’t have to either. Your apology is shitty and borderline dehumanizing. Fuck yourself man.
and to the victims of this dirty bitch, you are seen. You are valid for having the feelings you have & I really hope you know that. People like this on the internet are dangerous and make me gag thinking about it. You are loved & heard. You have hundreds of not thousands accounts on your side— including myself. ❤️
- sturnwh0re
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#fanfic#fanfiction#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolos#smut#matt stuniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris fanfic#matt fanfic#fandom#sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo smut#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#nicolas sturniolo#chris imagine#chris x reader#chris headcannons#chris
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"Another theoretical path for Zoe would be to let Chloe redeem Zoe. We know that Zoe was a massive liar in the past."
If I understood your pov about a Chloe redemption and how Lilia neither has reason to be on the show: if you had to use a character for Chloe to redeem, and kinda serve both as a foil for her and a lesson for Adrien's character growth, it wouldn't be Zoe, but Lila?
*sighs* You bring so many good points on the characters' writing that I can't beleive how many "repeated" characters the show has! Would you consider Socqueline another innecessary character?
(Post this was in reference to for Zoe and for Lila)
It's not shocking that the show has "repeated" characters. It's a school drama with 21 teen heroes in the canon cast (24 if we count the special characters). It's damn near impossible to give that many characters a unique role in the story unless you're dealing with extremely complex plots a la Game of Thrones where it's less one large cast in a single story and more smaller casts in mini stories that all intermingle. If you look at something like GoT, you'll notice that, while the overall cast is massive, each mini story has a more normal sized cast and those smaller groups only come together after they're extremely well established. Miraculous could have done something like that with each member of the class getting a mini arc that focused on them, but it didn't, so the cast is basically a uniform blob.
Zoe, Chloe, & Lila
Before we talk about Socqueline, I wanted to quickly make some comments on Zoe and Lila. If I had to have Chloe redeem someone to show off her new skills post redemption, then I'd have it be Sabrina. If Sabrina is off the table, then I'd pick Zoe. If Zoe is off the table, only then would I look to Lila because why use Lila when you have Chloe's best friend and sister as options? That's far more compelling than some random girl no one knew before this year and who no one is connected to. Even the Zoe route is questionable since she's so underdeveloped right now. Both her and Lila would need major work to be fully functional characters and I personally have no interest in doing that work since I don't feel like it adds enough value to canon.
I will note that Lila and Zoe actually had potential to be an interesting contrast to each other since they're both liars. Redeeming one and damning the other works far better than doing the same narrative with Lila and Chloe since Lila and Zoe have the same core problem while Lila and Chloe have nothing in common to the point where canon has to retcon in Chloe having a Marinette obsession so that the Chloe and Lila team up made sense.
Similarly, if you damn Chloe, redeeming Zoe could have been interesting. You could even redeem her and then, though her, save Chloe since Zoe hasn't suffered from Chloe anywhere near as much as the rest of the cast. That and their sibling status makes Zoe a decent choice for the person who changes Chloe's heart just like the Zoe's backstory feels like a good contrast to Chloe's canon story.
Zoe is introduced right after Chloe supposedly proved she didn't want to change (for this post, we're pretending people actually tried to help Chloe and failed). That should mean that everyone is really freaking wary of the new girl who shows manipulative tendencies while also claiming that she wants to change. That could have led to an arc showing how you know when someone does want to change and how to navigate that.
I don't think Zoe is a great candidate for that since she's a total stranger who no one but Chloe has any reason to care about, but it would have done something to make the people in canon actually learn the supposed redemption lesson we're currently missing. As-is, Marinette just randomly believes in Zoe right from the start and Zoe is good basically right from the start, showing that Chloe's betrayal meant nothing to the cast and driving home that Marinette's first impressions of people are basically always right. Adrien seems to be the only exception.
Socqueline
Socqueline is a totally pointless character who I would never have included. It's not that she's bad in and of herself, it's that she once again adds nothing to the cast that wasn't already there. She is Origins Alya on steroids. She's here to protect Marinette from Chloe and inspire Marinette to be brave and that's about it. Why she needed to do that when Alya is supposed to have that role is anyone's guess.
If anything, Socqueline undermines Alya since we now know that Marinette had an amazing best friend before Alya came around! Socqueline was willing to fight Chloe even before Chloe randomly mellowed out into a nicer person because seasons one-to-three Chloe has nothing on Derision Chloe. Even seasons four and five Chloe aren't as bad as Derision Chloe. This show has no idea what it's doing.
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Today, I feel like coming to Astarion's defense, despite claims like "he's a heartless jerk who only approves of the most sadistic and cruel choices." First of all, that's not true, and secondly, he's far more complex than that, but…
I was thinking about Chessa, the little Gur girl turned vampire spawn. About how she tells herself to resist the beast inside her. About how the instinct for violence, inherent to being a vampire, takes over, and how "I'll kill you" becomes an automatic phrase on the lips of a child who not only abhors what she has become but should embody the very image of innocence. And about how – perhaps the saddest and most painful part – she can no longer distinguish her desire to reunite with her family from the hunger that would drive her to ravage the very people she loves. It’s an incredibly powerful image, a deep and clear message. It perfectly conveys what it means to be a vampire: how perceptions shift and how difficult it is to resist impulses, no matter how good, virtuous, or even pure one might have been before the transformation – as innocent as a child.
It’s true that Chessa is a relatively young vampire spawn, newly created, and therefore lacking experience in terms of self-control. But this gives us an idea of the impulses underlying Astarion's actions and reactions. For him, it’s objectively difficult to behave like a "normal" person, even if we set aside the 200 years during which Cazador shaped him into what he is (something the vampire lord even boasts about—though if we delve into all the implications, the discussion would become too complex and lengthy, so let’s set that aside for now). So, it’s no wonder that Astarion approves of violence, bloodshed, or some of the more cruel courses of action. It would be stranger if he didn’t!
Is it a good thing? No. However, from my perspective, it’s not something you can entirely blame him for either. It’s in his nature, a bit like a cat sadistically toying with a mouse. Let’s appreciate the fact that the guy tries to behave as civilly as possible and integrate with his fellow misfits. He does his best within the limits of his nature!
Astarion: With this super serious face, I shall write a ballad about how I’m actually cute and cuddly. What rhymes with I am loving and brave? Oh, right, with I'll bring you red roses on your grave!
#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur’s gate 3#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion bg3#baldurs gate 3 astarion
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One of Many Experiences with Transandrophobia (TW: Medical Trauma):
Went to a Planned Parenthood clinic because I was told it was a 'safe' place for trans people to access care. At the time it was the ONLY place in my town and within 75 miles that trans people could access care.
Had an appointment for a pap smear, which PP said I HAD to have done before I could get an HRT appointment. Had been assured that the clinic was very up to date on working with trans clients. Had been very clear about my gender identity and my overall discomfort with having a pap smear done due to previous sexual trauma.
Appointment started off normal, until it suddenly wasn't. The OBGYN decided it was the perfect time while she was poking around and up in my body to start talking about how "beautiful the female reproductive system is", and starts talking, in vivid detail, about how my genitalia looked, and how healthy it was, and how it would be such a shame for me to ruin it with transition, and how atrophy would make sex painful for me, and how I wouldn't be able to have children if I did the unthinkable and got a hysterotomy.
It was so incredibly triggering, and I was frozen for the rest of the appointment because I felt incapable to doing anything since I was up in the stirrups and in a vulnerable position. This woman knew I had trauma she still fucking pulled that shit on me. To this day, I still feel like she did what she did to me because of my trauma - like she thought doing this would be a sure fire way to get me to not want to transition.
I tried lodging complains about the experience about a week after that happened, but the complaints went nowhere. I was told I must have "misunderstood" what I'd been told, and MAYBE it was because of my previous sexual trauma, or MORE LIKELY I'd been dysphoric during the appointment so I clearly must be remembering in wrong! And after getting gaslit about it so hard, I've never had an exam since. I'd honestly rather get surprise cancer and have that take me than ever experience something so gross and demeaning again.
To add insult to injury: When I tried talking about the experience at the local trans support group (where it was totally normal to talk about discrimination members experienced) I got shut down because the group was 6 trans women to 2 trans men on that particular day and they had a vote on if I could talk about it, and the vote ended up 6 against 2. I was told that as a man, it wasn't okay to talk about that particular type of medical trauma, because only the women in the room were allowed to talk about medical trauma around their genitalia.
I ended up dropping out of that 'support' group because it was clear there was no actual support available for trans men in attendance - we were expected to be good listeners and to support the trans women in attendance unconditionally, but not to talk about our personal lived experiences if they were negative - we could only talk about the happy, twee things! So validating! /s
I also came to find out later that the PP location I went to predominately worked with trans women - MTF HRT was made available about 5 years before they started selectively doing FTM HRT (that's a whole other story) - and after comparing notes with a few other guys, came to realize the handful of us trans men that went there were treated like freaks.
I would like to think that time passing would have made it possible to talk about this, as it happened to me in 2017, but over the years when I've attempted to discuss issues trans men have accessing medical care and the trauma we can experience trying to do so, and use this example as shit I've experienced that should never happen, I STILL get shut down.
I've been made fun of, told "that didn't actually happen", or my transness and/or my identity as man gets questioned/belittled/turned into a joke by both trans and cis women. I had one lesbian (a former friend now for fucking good reason) joke that "maybe she (the OGBYN) thought you were a lesbian and was trying to hit on you!"
Same thing has happened when attempting to talk about sexual assault and intimate partner violence - talking about/admitting to having that experience has gotten pointed to as me being a "man trying to talk over women's experiences", or as a "sign" I'm not ACTUALLY a man, because those things don't happen to men.
So when people say that trans men don't need a term to talk about the kinds of shit we deal with that is unique to our identities and experiences, and they mock us for using the term "transandrophobia"?
I want to spit bullets.
(Cue the haters saying I'm a monster and 'dangerous violent man' for saying so.)
.
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I know TT Red takes place Season 1, but how do you think he handles S2 to S5?
There's so many ways this could potentially go, where on so many ocassions TT Red goes to the future in the middle of an adventure and gets traumatized way more than how much LBD did to MK.
Season 4 would be such a mess, especially if all of TT Red's experiences got documented in the scroll of memory once he got sucked in, and then MK and Mei had to go through so many of these futures trying to find TT Red.
AND SEASON 5. Oh dear I think I know how this would make sense now:
This is post season five and TT Red's way of going "I don't want you killing yourself all over again, this is for your protection. Just like for Wukong, I want you to be out of trouble. Please trust me I love you dearly (BUT NOT TOO MUCH) and I wanna make sure you're alive and well."
TT Red becomes an absolute wreck by the end of lmk so far and I think it would absolutely show during this sort of timeline.
Oh my god.. ok, so that Season 5 aftermath you proposed is great, but I HAVE to focus on what you said about the memory scroll for season 4 because it’s fucking amazing!
Red Son gets pulled into the memory scroll, but instead of just being his past in its relation to Journey to the West, EVERYTHING he has done, including all the futures he has had to visit, all have had an influence on how the scroll appears for him.. He’s got some wild, temporal/interdimensional nonsense going on with him that makes the scroll act in unusual ways, so honestly why are they even surprised? 😂
MK and the gang all have to find their way through a bunch of different universes in which there are different versions of themselves but also almost every one of them has a Red Son, too.. So not only do they have to watch out and not lose track of each other lest they not know which of them is which (they definitely do at points, maybe even all getting split up and ending up in a future of their own) but they also need to figure out which of these Red Sons is actually THEIR Red Son so they can jar his memory and get him back to his normal self… this is easier said than done.
Also, it gives them all a little taste of just how fucked up TT Red’s solo time adventures are sometimes. They see versions of the world where the city is destroyed, where demons have destroyed Pigsy’s Noodles, where one or several of them have died, that one where Red Son sacrificed himself and MK is left sad and hollow.. not all of them are so bad, though. Maybe they get lucky and stumble upon one where it’s way far in the future and Red and MK are happily married with a family, and MK hopes beyond hope pLEASE let this Red Son be HIS Red Son… it’s not, but boy that would have been nice if that was his, like, “true self” or whatever this scroll is doing to them.
Eventually they make it to the start of it all: Demon King Red’s timeline. MK is desperate at this point to find his Red Son, but when he makes his way into this lavish throne room and sees a king version of Red sitting on a throne, he’s like “oh FUCK no. That is definitely NOT my Red Son.” All his friends are hemming and hawing like, well, maybe it could be?? Isn’t that how Red Son sees himself? Isn’t becoming that guy what he’s afraid of??? It’s kinda shitty, but maybe the scroll WOULD turn Red Son into Demon King Red.
MK isn’t convinced. He insists that it’s NOT POSSIBLE. In fact, he uses his Smartie Kid brain and deduces that, for all the rest of them, they were lost in a role of a person that they used to be, whether it was a reincarnation or an ancestor or whatever their deal was… but Red Son has never been (and NEVER WILL BE, MK insists) Demon King Red. So they’ve been going about this all wrong. They shouldn’t be trying to find the Red Son for each of these timelines and seeing if their Red has been turned into them.. they should be trying to find wherever their own Red Son would be in within that timeline!
In the case of Demon King Red, MK remembers what he was told about his time in the palace.. he dodges a hug from the mad king, leaving his friends to hold him off, and scoots right past him to make a break for the dungeon. He finds his Red Son locked up down there- short hair, tattered jacket, square glasses and all.. but something new as well: a red circlet on his head.
When he spots MK he starts to panic, he insists that MK go and leave him there. He shouldn’t have come to rescue him- he’s not worth it! If the mad king finds MK there, it will be all over, and freeing Red Son isn’t worth the risk! MK pries open the cell and reaches out for Red, insisting that isn’t true. He’ll always be there for him, even when he’s at his lowest because he loves him! Red Son still doesn’t go for his hand, falling back and curling in on himself in despair. He insists again that that makes no sense… MK should hate him. He would be fully justified to leave Red behind to rot in this cell forever.. it’s no less than he deserves.
MK has to grab him, cupping his face forcefully in his hands and making Red Son look up at him again to stop him from spiraling. No, he shouts, that’s wrong! Red Son doesn’t deserve this! Not one bit of it! He has worked so SO hard to change himself into a better person, and the fact that he is has been through so much and seen so many terrible possible futures but is still trying so hard means he is already a thousand times better than Demon King Red. He is NOT Demon King Red, and thanks to his own tireless efforts, he never will be! All he has to do is not give up that hope to make this better.
Finally, this gets through to Red Son. The fillet around his head disappears, and he blinks a few times in confusion, coming out of the stupor the scroll had put him in… of course the two of them are still in the dungeon, which is extra confusing for Red Son, but MK just takes his hand and leads him back to his friends. They’re still fighting to hold off the scroll version of Demon King Red, and I think upon seeing TT Red Son out of his cell and back to normal, he probably morphs into a horrific, ink monster version of the king.. and let’s say this is the scene where Mei’s sword gets broken and they all get separated again, so things go back to the canon plot line :U
Gosh that was fun.. I do love fitting my AUs into the canon plot~
#ask#demon king red#time travel#spicynoodleshipping#I would go into more of the other seasons and season 5 which you brought up specifically#but I think this response got a little long lol#so I’ll do that separately#estellardreams
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Stay Close
Slight yandere Dan Heng x reader
warnings: a bit of awkwardness? Slight fluff
Yandere Dan Heng using his Lunae form to keep a "dragon lover" reader close to him. You being from a world they're nonexistent to now seeing one that shouldn't be possible when you joined the express.
Like a moth drawn to a flame the first time you saw it you were beyond fascinated to the point everyone could tell. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to question him about it feeling it would be disrespectful since he seems so avoidant of talking about it after just a few questions you tried to ask him.
That also lead you to feel unbelievably awkward around him for a while since you've already talked about your love of dragons to the express... If you knew then you would have never said a word. How were you supposed to know there was a draconic type of human??
That lead you to research in the archives a lot to make sure there isn't anything else you should know about before it was too late.
With time things got back to normal and you started to drift away from Dan Heng. He's a guy who likes his space. Why bother him when you have Trailblazer and March to bother? Plus you're pretty sure you learned everything you wanted to know by then and your visits became less and less often.
Little did you know at that point Dan Heng didn't really like that. He grew rather used to your previous frequent presence in the archives.
What he really didn't like is when you got separated on visiting another planet. That alone wouldn't have been so bad if the person you were with trying to help the world didn't try to stab you in the back. Literally. He saw it happen and nearly lost his cool. He threw his spear just in the nick of time and punctured the person's leg, causing them to stop and scream in pain.
Obviously that startled you to turn around and see them running up and what happened.
After that there was a shift in his actions with you. Almost always in the same room especially if no one else was. Another thing you noticed was him more often in his other form. Man you want to touch his tai- no. Bad. That's weird.
It's like a train wreck no matter how hard you try to stop looking, you can't.
He knows you want to touch it. It's not hard to tell. Quite frankly, it's the opposite. It's to the point you don't even have to say it. But that's what he wants. He's willing to show this part to you alone just to keep you near if he has to. He knows you don't think he sees you looking while he's reading.
"You can try touching it, if you want."
You're shocked for a good minute, then apprehensive. You wonder if he only is saying that because your looking is pressuring him so you can stop, or maybe another bad reason you don't want to try to think about. "...Are you sure?"
Aeons, please just do already! This is more of a delicate situation though. If he wasn't as level-headed he'd have already impulsively pulled you to him with his tail and made you stay close as much as possible. "if I wasn't, I wouldn't have offered."
You cave and carefully do. It wasn't what you were expecting. it was more smooth, airy to the touch, and rather cool. Not cold, but definitely not warm either. Maybe airy wasn't the right word? Felt more like water itself but a bit more solid. So like soft ice and not nearly as cold.
You didn't want to stop touching it but didn't want to push your luck. That alone was enough for you to be happy with.
But it didn't stop there. More frequently you'd go to the archives again and he kept offering. Eventually one day he pulled you to his lap and rested his head on you while you held it. He wrapped his arms around you as well and let a mental sigh of relief. He's glad it's this way now.
This is where you belong with him. Whatever happens or comes for him, he cannot leave the express anymore. Not with you. Not with something as great as this.
He's never been more glad to have his other form than now. If it helps make you stay close, well then he might just have to start staying in this form more often. Even if around other people too.
#x reader#x you#fluff#hsr x reader#reader insert#yandere dan heng#dan heng#hsr#yandere hsr#yandere dan heng x reader#imbibitor lunae#yandere hsr x reader
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https://www.tumblr.com/woodlaflababab/773344830294294528/omg-yes-far-more-positive-toward-kataang-than-op?source=share
What do you think? Maybe Sokka and Toph could have appeared, because yes, they are obviously like a family to Aang. However, it’s also important to recognize how much Katara means to him. She was the first person to believe in him, to support him, at a time when the entire world didn’t even know he existed.
I feel a bit torn: on the one hand, including Sokka and Toph would have highlighted the importance of the familial bonds Aang has built. But on the other hand, it makes sense for Katara to have that special place in this scene, given their closeness and how their relationship has evolved since the beginning of the story.
"Sokka and Toph are his family too" is such a bad argument to use as criticism of Katara being the one Aang sees in that vision because, by that logic, it shouldn't have been only Gyatso in his nightmare during The Storm, nor should his body have been the only one he saw when going back to the temple, since he was not the only one Aang loved/wish he had saved.
Gyatso is the only one he saw during that nightmare/the only body he saw because he was the one Aang loved the most and was closest to. Of all the bonds he had pre-iceberg, that was by far the strongest, and Gyatso was the one person trying to think of what was best for him as well instead of just what was best for the world. Of course he'd be singled out as THE loss that hurt Aang the most.
The same applies to Katara. She's literally the first thing Aang sees in a hundred years. She's the first friend he made post-iceberg, and is by far the one he's closest to. She was the first person who told him "The air-nomads might be gone, but you still have a family." She's the one that snaps him out of the Avatar State, sometimes with just a look, no words needed, because she understands him in a way no one else does. She gives him hope and keeps him grounded. Hurting her makes him hurt too and he's terrified of losing her (much like she's terrified of losing him).
She'll also be the person that will literally bring him back from the dead, and be the person he'll start a new family with.
Sokka and Toph are Aang's friends and family (and sifu in Toph's case). Katara is Aang's BEST friend, the family he's closest to, his waterbending master, his future wife (and the mother of his children), his reason to not give up the fight, the very reason he's not either dead or still frozen inside that iceberg.
Her meaning more to him is not the same as the others meaning nothing. Poiting out that, yes, the love of your life will hold a different piece of your heart than the people you love but are not in love with is not the same as saying "Therefore they're the ONLY thing that matters."
Not to mention: that scene is also a pattern in the writing about how Aang's role as the Avatar constantly denies him things he desperately wants. He longs to be a normal child, free of any responsibilities, but he's forced to be the world's savior (and has to a face a bigger challenge, having much less time to prepare). He wants to remain true to his pacifist world-view, but the war might force him to take a life and he has no choice but to be willing to make that sacrifice. He can't even stay in the same place too long without it making everyone around him a target.
And he wants to be the guy that is always there to support Katara, protect her if necessary, and hopefully be the one she's in love with.
But he ends up having to do things like learn from Pakku even though he REALLY wants to tell that old man to fuck off after he disrespects Katara, or having to temporarely let go of her so he can go into the Avatar State and save Ba Sing Se, and Katara herself eventually tells him that she doesn't know if they should be together because there's too much going on.
That scene isn't just about Aang learning to let go when necessary, it's about him trying to accept that he can't ever have the future he wants with Katara and she'll be just another friend/member of his family - only to basically get punished by the narrative by being immediately killed for it, then be brought back to life by Katara, who is then heartbroken when he tries to leave to go and fight Ozai the next episode.
It's the narrative straight up telling us (and Aang) that he can and SHOULD fight back against this expectation that he should sacrifice everything he holds dear to his heart because "his role as the Avatar demands it." And this future with Katara, where he's not just her closest friend, but also her husband and father of her kids, is what he wants the most, so it is THE unfair sacrifice the show is highlighting at that moment.
Katara means more to Aang, both because of their romance and regardless of it. It HAD to be just her on that moment, much like she had to say "I believe AANG can save the world" at the start of every episode, even though there's people helping him do it, including herself, because, in her eyes, he already did by validating her hopes. Plain and simple.
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