#like i should eat i should shower i should work in my workbook and use my coping tools and im like

[cascigarette]

!

[iconicbubs]

Hungry for? ( Win X Team) [SMUT]

Team’s Pov

“ Ugh this is hard!” I yelled placing my pencil down to rummage my hands through my hair.

“ I’m hungry, please hia, let me have a bag please.” I begged tugging on Win’s arm, Win looked up from the textbook smirking.

“ Why should I? You had your last bag an hour ago.” He says staring at me before gently patting my head once I started whining.

“ Okay okay okay, How about this, let’s take a break, you can eat your chips. When you’re finished we will start again.”

“ How long is my break?” I asked smiling a little, Win leaned in closer,

“ seven minutes.”

“Aw, why not ten minutes?”

“ What was that? You want five minutes instead?” Win teased,

“ No no Hia I’m okay with seven!” I yelled snatching the bag of chips, opening them. I shoved a chip into my mouth happily chewing away. Win laughed softly before he got up and stretched,

“ I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” He says,

“ Why do I need to know that?” I asked, Win smirked leaning in close to me,

“ Just in case if you want to join me.” He replies. My face felt warm as I pushed him away.

“ Ew as if.” I tried to make the most disgusted face ever but it didn’t seem to work. Win winked before turning around and heading towards his bathroom.

“ A-are you gonna go shower?!” I called out, Win didn’t reply instead he just enters his bathroom and closes the door.

***

I tossed the empty bag of chips into the garbage and washed my hands in the kitchen sink. I lazily looked around the room before moving back to the couch. Plopping down I sighed softly. Hia Win stepped out the bathroom with only his pajama pants. Nothing else, well other than his towel on his shoulder. I looked him up and down quickly before looking down at my phone.

“ Why did you undressed me with your eyes? Not that I mind it.” Win says as he sits down next to me, I can smell the mint shampoo and fresh soap smell from his body. He smelled like mint and a hint of apple. God he smells good,

“ You must be dreaming.” I mumbled, Win laughed as he threw his arm around me.

“ Okay Nong~” he gently placed a kiss on my forehead.

“ Gahh, what was that for?!” I shrieked trying my best to rub off the kiss.

“ My charge.”

“ I thought that was after.” I mumbled softly, Win didn’t reply instead he took my phone away and placed it on the kitchen counter, before sitting back down next to me.

“ Let’s start. English will come easy once you understand it.” He smiled as he opens my workbook, scanning it. He looked so hot when he’s serious. I won’t lie, I like watching him while he’s reading my workbooks. The way his brows will knit together as he glides his thumb on his bottom lip. And the low hums he let out while he thinks. I don’t know how long I was watching him, because he was talking to me again.

“ Team!”

“ Y-yes! What? why are you yelling?!” I said jumping a bit, Win gently put the workbook down.

“ We can continue tomorrow if you want. You weren’t listening to me.” Win said leaning against the couch.

“ No no I’m paying attention.” I stammered a bit, Win smirked as his left eyebrow went up slightly.

“ Really?” He asked moving closer to me, I slowly moved away.

“ Yes.”

“ I don’t think you were. It seemed like you busy paying attention to something else.” Win smirked, his eyes glancing down towards my lips before meeting my eyes again.

“ You have a strong i-imagination.” I tried not to stammer.

“ Why are you stammering?” He asked placing his hand gently on my thigh rubbing my sweatpants.

“ I’m not. Maybe you are hearing things.” I tried not to get nervous as I moved closer to the edge of the couch.

“ It seems to me you’re running away from me.” Win laughs. Looking around I tried to avoid eye contact with him.

“A-all in your head.”

“ Really? It’s all in my head?” He asked softly

“ Yes.” I nodded my head quickly

“ Okay. Then I guess I can do this.” He smiled, suddenly he grabbed me by my waist pulling me closer to him. His lips crashed onto mine immediately, his tongue swiped my bottom lip; begging for entrance. Kissing back, I didn’t give him entrance. Win bit down on my lip causing me to release a small moan as I opened my mouth.

“ Ah! Hia.” I moaned lowly as we continued to kiss. We pulled away slowly, breathing heavily I tried to catch my breath. I can feel an uncomfortable tightness in my sweatpants.

‘Fuck I’m hard.’ I thought to myself, to my displeasure Win took notice of this, his eyebrow went up slightly in a teasing manner.

“ Oh did I turn you on that much?” He teased pulling me onto his lap. I shyly straddled him,

“ No.” I mumbled as I grind on him slightly trying my best to get my self off without him noticing. Of course that didn’t work,

“ Team, there’s no need to hid that fact that you’re hard. Plus you’re grinding on me.” He sighed softly, I immediately stopped grinding. Win kisses my neck, sucking on it lightly. His hand slowly rubbed my crotch, he slipped his hand into my pants rubbing my dick through my boxers.

“ M-mm Hia p-please.” I whimpered,

“ What is it Nong?” He asked teasing,

“ T-touch me.” I whined as he slowly stroked my needy dick.

“ I am touching you.” His warm breath tickled my neck as his kisses travel further down, reaching my collarbone. He squeezed my tip then he slowly rubbed it.

“ Ah..mm p-please.” I begged

“Hm?”, He continued to pretend to not understand what I was asking.

“ Ah Hia please please for the love of gods please jerk me off!” I screamed, my face feeling hot as Win smiled devilishly.

“ Anything for you Nong~” His hand slipped through my boxers as he strokes me. His other hand pulled both my pants and boxers down freeing my dick. It twitched in his hand as he chuckled, he rubbed his index finger slowly down my tip as precum dribbled out.

“ H-Hia please.” I plead feeling frustrated,

“ Don’t worry my cute Nong.” He smiled as he wraps his hand around my dick slowly stroking me before increasing speed. Leaving me a moaning mess on top of him,

“Hia..Hia..ah ahhh mmm Ah Ah Ah.”

“ You sound so cute moaning like that.” He whispered in my ear gently biting the top of my ear.

“ Hia you’re embarrassing me.” I whimpered. Win suddenly stopped,

“ Hia-eek!” He picked me up and carried me to his room, tossing me onto his bed. He closed his door, walking over to his dresser he pulled out a small bottle.

“ Hia is that lube?”

“ Yes, trust me, it will make your experience worth while.” He smirked as he climbs back onto the bed. He squirted some on his fingers rubbing them. Then he proceeded to jerk me off. I felt his other hand, at my entrance rubbing slow circles on my hole.

“ Breath in slow for me Team.” He says softly as slides in his first finger. It felt weird at first before it started to hurt,

“ Hia it hurts.” I whimper as he slowly slides in and out,

“ Oh it will much better.” He winked as he rubs the top of my dick, he slide his finger in deeper, then my body jolted a bit as I arched my back,

“ HIA!”

“ Found it.” He whispered as he continued to thrust his finger in me, adding another one during the process.

“ H-Hia Hia Hia..oh ah yes mm m-more please f-faster.” I moaned as his fingers continued to thrust into me.

“ I wonder if I can make you scream.” He mumbled to himself as he entraps my lips with his own, hw sucked slowly while fingering me.

“ Hia.” I moaned breathlessly in his mouth. He started to spread his two fingers, his hand that was once on my manhood found its way up my shirt. Slipping his hand under my shirt he rubbed my nipples. I couldn’t help it as I rolled my hips on his fingers, he inserted another finger once I was basically moving my body with them. Breaking the kiss Win smirked,

“ Look at you, getting off from just my fingers.” He chuckled,

“ You like that don’t you.” He whispered in my ear as he continued to finger me.

“ I- I want more Hia.” I whined. Win looked at me before removing his fingers, my hole twitched being left empty. Win moved back before pulling his pajama pants down leaving him in his boxers.

“ Team..do you really want to continue? Once I start there’s no turning back.” He said seriously. Biting my bottom lip I nod my head quickly, but he didn’t move.

“ Yes.. god yes please just continue” I whined, Win reaches under his pillow and retrieves a condom.

“ You had that under your pillow?”

“ Of course.” He smirked as he rubbed his crotch, then he teasingly removes his boxers.

“ Why?”

Win ripped the condom open with his teeth, slowly stroking himself for a bit before putting the condom on. He grabbed the bottle of lube again, pouring a large amount on his hand before applying it to his dick. Groaning lowly he looked at me,

“ For those nights.” He winked scanning my body slowly before hovering over me. Kissing my cheek, then moving on to my lips, and down my neck,

“ Pervert.” I breathed out, he pulled away from me, lining himself with my hole. He slowly rubbed his tip at my entrance.

“ Hia please no teasing.” I whined, Win stares at me, I took this opportunity to drink up all of his features, even when the room is dark and the only source of light that was available as the moonlight; I am able to see all of him. Win’s dick wasn’t fat however it was long and slender, like him, to be correct it had thickness to it but it wasn’t extremely thick, but it was long.

“ Okay Nong I will stop.” He coos placing a gentle kiss on my forehead, his lips traveled back down to mine as he enters me slowly. To say it wasn’t painful is lying, straight up lying. His dick hurt! I let out a small cry of pain as Win slowly thrusted, drowning my cries with our shared kiss. Once he was fully in...or so I think it’s fully in he stopped moving,

“ Nong let me know when to move.” He says softly, caressing my face.

“ Are you fully in?” I asked with a shaky voice

“ No. only half way.”

“ What the fuck.” I cursed softly,

“ Nong it’s your first time right?” He asked kissing my neck to distract me,

“ Y-yes.”

“ Then it will feel like I’m fully in when I’m not. Trust me you’ll know when I’m fully in.” He smirked kissing me, biting my bottom lip again demanding passage; so he can let his tongue work it’s way in my mouth. Fuck he’s so good, and hot. Regrettably I let a moan slip from my lips.

“ Can I move now Team?” He asked breaking our kiss as he looks me in my eyes.

“ Yes.” I say breathlessly, Win hums as he continued to slide in more. Win kisses my nipples sucking on them,

“ Hia!” I screamed as I felt him hit a certain spot that he hit the first time with his fingers. A warm stream of cum soiled my stomach and his as well.

“ I didn’t even start and you came.” Win smirked then he suddenly started thrusting, it felt amazing, the way he moved his hips as he continued to thrust, here and there rolling his hips.

“ Ah.ah mm oh yes Hia more more.” I moaned wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, running my fingers down his back as he picks up the pace.

“ F-faster.”

“ So demanding.. anything for my nong.” He chuckled as his pace quickened, his tip brutally hits my sweet spot leaving me a writhing mess under him.

“ Hia!” My moans increased in volume,

“ Wow I never took you for the type to be vocal.” He smirked, licking his lips as his hands found my waist, digging his fingers on the sides as he brings me closer as he goes deeper. My toes curled as he rest his head on my shoulder moaning lowly next to my ear,

“ H-Hia Hia Hia Hia Ah! Hia.” I whimpered, just hearing his moan caused me to become hard again.

“ So fucking cute.” He whispers as he nibbles the tip of my ear, he moaned my name lowly as he thrusted faster. Wrapping his arms around me he pulled me closer to him. Then he pulled out. He lays right next to me,

“ Come here nong, come sit on my lap.” He smirked, I shyly climbed over him, he helped me sit on his dick. I can feel his tip touching my sweet spot,

“ Hia y-you’re so big.” I say shyly as he snaps his hips upwards, causing me to scream in pleasure again.

“ HIA!” Cum paints my stomach again and this time his chest, Win chuckled as he grabs my waist pulling me up before slamming me back down, I felt my eyes roll back as I grab onto him as best as I could. Never did I ever think I would be having sex with my senior, let alone having sex with a dude. But god I felt like I was in heaven. Win moaned as he repeatedly thrusted into me,

“ God you’re tight.” He smiled lazily, his thrusts started to falter.

“ I’m close.” He whispers in my ear

“ Wanna make me cum?” He asked teasing me by stroking my spent dick.

“ Y-yes.” I whimpered as he guides me, I started moving my hips along with his.

“ Fuck fuck fuck, baby boy you feel so good.” He groaned as he slams his hips into mine. He threw his head back as his hips stilled, he jolted a bit, then I realized he was coming.

“ Oh yeah~ that was amazing.” He moaned then he kissed my forehead and my lips.

After breathing heavily Win slowly pulled out,

“ Nong you really are the cutest.” He smiled lazily kissing my forehead again as we lay down.

“ S-shut up.” I blushed.

[kylejourney]

Coping Skills Tips

Hello world I am strongly recommended coloring! You probably think it is stupid or lame. Whatever your opinion is I am strong recommended coloring. You probably wonder why because it is one of coping skills! It helps relax stress and help with boredom! I am glad I started again because I had stress relaxation and times goes fast so I do not get bored. It will benefit you a lot! Think about it you can give coloring papers to your family or friends. I do color pages in paper protectors in the binder to give my family members for Christmas. It cheaper honest but it is good present!! I enjoyed coloring. When you have anxiety or stress you should try coloring. If you find that is not helping you do not worry, I can recommend other coping skills. I suggest you write down on the list or cards of what coping skills. Also, I suggest you do with coping thoughts too. I do the index cards with the ring so I can look at them any time I needed to.

Ok I am also strongly recommended journaling if you love to write why not write in the journal? I am suggesting you have separated journals one for personal and one for your counselor. If you are in counseling, it helps your counselor understand more. You do not have to tell them anything that why you should have separated ones. I do that so my counselor understand me better. If you do better express in writing, then you should do it. If writing is not your thing then you can make a video of yourself then show to your counselor. I tried that but I did not like it.

Stress toys or stress balls. You can take it any time to work, driving, school, and any places. It easy to carry and can be in your pocket. Just try find one that do not do annoying noises. When I had fidget toy in class trip people who made a speech can hear it. So, I was bothering them. I think most hospital have them just try to ask!

Aroma therapy you buy the light. You pour a little water in it and do two drops of essential oils. Yeah then you need to turn it on too. Lavender is good for anxiety and pain. It is most popular people use. Try not get some essential that not good for cats and dogs. They have some essential oils that not good for dogs and cats. So, you should look it up online or borrow library book. Also, you can buy the bracelet if you do not want buy light. You do two drops on your bracelet and it get smell. If it gives you strong headache do not do it next time or use different essential oils. There some essential oils rolls for pain like headache. You can look it up more about that. Just try not near to cats and dogs.

Blogging! If you have a lot of ideas or stories why not share it? What about write a short book? Maybe write a poem? Maybe make up a joke? Being creative is fun! If you struggle with English like I do you should try do English workbook. Start with level 1 if needed. It is not harmed to teach yourself English! Amazon has these English workbooks. Also, you can google ideas but do not steal people’s ideas. So be creative! What about write a letter or write a email?

Play with bubbles! If its nice day I suggested, you play with bubbles. It is fun to me! You can get bubbles wand or whatever. You do not have to blow bubble wands but if you get to blow bubbles try deep breath slowly and blow. Try not breathing fast because when I do it will not blow. So, try slowing it down. Why not become a bubble artist?

Workout or move around. I suggest when you are stressed move around or workout. It helps you make feel good. Even if you are depressed too. You can even sit and move your arms and legs. There much yoga on YouTube you can try. If possible, you can go to swim and do exercise because it is low impact. Walking should help too. If you have watch or Fitbit, you can track your steps but not be hard on yourself if you do not do a lot of steps. You can dance around randomly like no one watching. It is silly but fun. Join in sports if possible.

Doodling, sketching, painting, etc. If you are a talented artist why not sell your stuff or share your ideas? My friend has her art page where she sells art things. What about set up account about your art? If you cannot draw just start and learn!

Deep breathing! There some different ways to deep breathing like star and 4-7-8. Your counselor can help with that or you can learn yourself from the app. Try think about how you breathe not other stuff in your head. Focus how deep breathe you do and find a place that people cannot bother you. You should find comfortable place like on couch or floor. I saw the school once had place for stressed person to do deep breath. It hard to start but you will get it. You do not always have to close your eyes. Even if at school or work you feel stressed take a moment deep breathe. Be careful when you are driving!

 Talk to your close friends or family. When you feel need someone talk to. I suggest you find right person for that. I am thankful I have some support people you should try find one too. If they will not listen, you or not support you then they are not for you. Call the crisis line if you do not have someone talk to and you feel like want to hurt yourself or kill yourself. Like I said writing in journal also helps.

Make videos or take pictures. If you want to be a model or actor. Start practicing and small steps help. You can ask people for their advice. Follow people on social media. You can look up more about that I do not know much about that. But making YouTube channel is good step too.

Take a bath or shower. When you are depressed and do not shower or bath for few days. Do it and you will feel a little better. You will find yourself cleaner and fresher which is good thing! Maybe people said, “Ooh you smell so good!” Also, you should brush your teeth daily you do not want to have cavity trust me. When you have teeth pain it hurt like hell. The cheek gets swollen and ear hurts too. Try not eating too much candy because it delays your teeth from the chemical. I strong suggest you brush your teeth twice daily and floss!

Do whatever coping skills that help you. If you find whatever coping skill help you should do it, but smoking, drugging, drinking, and binge eating are bad coping skills. If you find good coping skills, then that is good! I made many coping skills tips and if you are in counseling and struggling. That is okay because it almost takes me almost two years to do coping skills better. It will happen for you too. You will depend on coping skills better. Also, I will explain about promise and motivated. If you want do workout today you promise yourself, you will do it. That is means you do it because you promised. Then you will feel better.  So, if you depend on motivated you may not do it and you may feel not good. If you broke promise with yourself just forgive yourself and move on. Try do more promise than depend on motivated.

I hope it helps and you enjoy reading it! 😊

[notbang]

thoughts of you subside, then i get another letter

Dear BFNBF,

I don’t even know where to begin. That postcard (you’re funny! I always forget somehow that you’re funny!), Annie references?! (we’re definitely going to have to circle back to that the next time I see you) or the upsetting news of your recent hospitalisation? I guess I’ll start there: now you’ve made me feel bad, both for my postcard and my ongoing jokes about contracting weird animal diseases, but also I wish I’d known, so I could have sent you flowers or some kind of fancy chocolates you wouldn’t eat. Heather did, just as you predicted, warm to the idea of being the namesake to the monkey that drew precious Plimpton blood, but she also kind of grimaced in a way that said you should look after yourself. Like, the level of concern was kind of embarrassing, if you ask me.

(I do have to make one very important correction—the bath towels were only my second favourite part of sleepovers at your place. The best part was actually the Thai restaurant around the corner—you know, the one that does those sticky satay skewers—and the way you’d always get so pouty when I ate them without a plate. They usually went hand in hand with the showers though, so it makes sense you’d get them confused.)

Anyway, you’ll find no critique of your journey towards happiness from the girl who once took advice from a butter commercial, believe me. Just know that I think what you’re doing is cool as shit, and that it low-key blows my freaking mind if I start to think about it for too long. Because I can still remember that prickly, uptight dude that tried to fire half the office to impress his overbearing dad, and while I’ll always have a soft spot for that version of Nathaniel—he had his moments, after all—I think this new and improved, Nathaniel 2.0 is doing pretty well for himself, all recent monkey maulings notwithstanding. As for the embarrassment at your inability to regulate your feelings—well, I could probably lend you a workbook or two, if you’d like. The truth is, I’ve floundered at both ends of the spectrum—from uncomfortably numb to the F6 inconceivable tornado of emotion—and I’m still stumbling through navigating that rocky middle ground. I guess at the end of the day, it’s all part of the mess that comes with being human.

West Covina isn’t all that different to how you left it. Or, at least, I don’t have anything of much interest to report. Darryl and April have packed all the kids up for some kind of Great American family road trip, and I had to convince Madison my blossoming babysitting services, admirable though they are, do not extend to snails. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been introduced to Heather’s starfish, but let’s just say it’s probably for the best that who I am as a person isn’t up for review on Yelp. I don’t think my ability to take care of other people’s animals would be pulling in any glowing reviews. (Rebetzel’s, for the record, is still sitting pretty on five stars. Who needs the Michelin system when your sole reviewer is Valencia?)

Speaking of Valencia, I’m happy to report I’ve finally worked out how to use the Polaroid camera she got me for my birthday—physical evidence enclosed.

See you in hell—hope the weather’s still warm when I get there.

Nefariously yours,

Rebecca Bunch

PS. Don’t believe a word George tells you. He was a willing participant in the retrieval of those towels, no matter what he says.

PPS. What kind of super powers does one develop from a monkey infection? You were already long-limbed and purportedly hairy—how long now until the true transformation into Bigfoot is complete?

[Ruth Gator Ginsburg says hi!]

[Meet Estrella!! This was going to be an ongoing series, but turns out that frame is NOT waterproof - who knew???]

[monster-addict]

Unexpected

Orc x Human!OC 

Multipart Fic - Part 2

I woke up early, and took a shower. I already had my bag packed for class, I had my textbooks on my phone, so I didn't need to worry about that weight. I had my notebooks and different colored pens for my note taking. That's mainly what these first few weeks are going to be, note taking.

I made breakfast for everyone again, but it was small, toast and sausage. I put some tea in my water bottle and waited for Nick. He came down not too long after I finished my food. We didn't really say much, but it was comfortable. We got to class and I sat in the front or the far left side of the class, no one really sat over by me, which I was glad about.

It was a small class in a big lecture hall, it was maybe 14 of us in the class. Nick sat directly across from me in the class, but later on during the class when our teacher wanted us to read. That was when a girl from the middle of the class went over and sat by him. I assumed it was his girlfriend, or a close friend of his. I continued to read and next thing I know, class was over.

"I forgot to show you my schedule yesterday." I went up to Nick after class.

"Yeah, you share my schedule except for the gen ed classes. I think Orlov has those classes though." He told me, the girl was lingering behind a bit.

We walked to the next class which was down the hall a little bit, him and the girl talked a little bit more before they parted ways.

It seemed as if it were the same class, fewer people too. It was mainly orcs in this class, three female orcs, and I was half the amount of human females. It was about 4 human males and 5 male orcs. This professor was orc, with long hair down his back. I took out a different notebook and started my note taking process. This class he mainly talk, our reading was to do on our own time. I made a note in my phone to read, as well as in my agenda.

Class was over and I had about an hour before my last class started for the day. I went to the library just to browse their collection. I was going to do all of my reading once I got in, it wouldn't take me long anyway.

"Are you new around here?" I heard a voice come from my right.

"Yeah, I just transferred actually." I turned to the male.

"Demetri." He stuck his hand out.

"Skylar." I shook his hand.

He wasn't as big as Orlov or Nick, but considering I'm only 5'2 most orcs tower over me. He has a slimmer figure should I say, but he's still very tall, maybe 6'3.

"What are you majoring in, literature?" He asked.

"No, I'm actually a biochemistry major." I laughed a bit.

"Oh I would've never assumed. Most of the girls around here found those classes to be boring or not really for them. Now if you were taking the regular classes to be a doctor, that would be different. Not a lot of people around here are doing biochem in the first place to be honest." He said.

"Yeah, I've noticed the lack of students in my earlier classes, on top of the fact that they are early classes. What about you, what's you major?" I asked.

"Take a guess." He said.

"Accounting, or sometime of business major?" I asked him.

"You hit it on the money." He said.

"Lucky me, so what year are you in?" I asked him.

"Well, technically my second year, I just switched my major around so these classes are new for me. I like them more than psychology." He said.

"That would've been my back up, psychology. Either that or dermatology." I said.

"Why dermatology?" He looked confused.

"I like extracting comedones." I said.

"Whatever that means." He rolled his eyes.

"Blackheads and whiteheads." I laughed at him.

"Come sit with me?" He asked.

"Sure."

I followed along beside him as best as I could. I could tell he even tried to slow his pace so I could keep up, but it didn't work too well. We finally sat down in a nice corner without too many people.

"How are you liking it here so far?" Demetri asked.

"I haven't been here long enough to have an opinion, but so far so good." I said.

"How's your dorm and roommate?" He asked.

"Well, honestly, my best friend is the one that convinced me to come here. She just got one of the houses they let you rent out. She said beforehand she was in the co-ed dorms, but her roommate didn't like her. She got along with the two dudes she shared the bathroom with, so they are our other roommates in the house." I told him.

"What's your friend's name?" He asked.

"Aria." I told him.

"Oh that's the one that helps out with our dance team, do you dance?" He asked me.

"Have you seen any of her videos?" I asked.

"Yeah, but not many, why?" He asked.

"Oh well, I'm in some of her videos, so yes, I do dance." I told him.

We talked a little more until I had to go to class, we exchanged numbers and he walked me to class.

I got seated in what is going to be my regular spot, for the rest of my college life. This professor was an elf, so that was a little change up from the rest of my routine. That class went by fairly fast as well, and before I know it I'm walking over to Nick.

"Hey, you mind dropping me off at the house. Orlov said you like to go to study hall after class." I said.

"You aren't going to come too?" He asked.

"No, I don't do well studying in groups, or around a lot of people. I'd rather be in the comfort of my own bed." I tell him.

"I get that, I can drop you off. And for the record, I only go to study hall to meet up with June." He said as we walked.

"June is?" I looked up at him confused.

"Oh right, June is my girlfriend." He said.

"I didn't want to assume, but it seemed like it." I said.

We didn't say much of anything walking out to the car, but I saw Demetri on the way out. I gave him a slight wave and he gave me a head nod. Once I got to the house, I gave Nick a quick thanks before he drove off. I went in the house, and no one was home, not yet at least. We need a group chat for the house, or at the very least, I need to be added to it. I went up to my room and got out my agenda, going in order by class. I opened the book on my laptop, so I can annotate it while I read. I then wrote in my notebook some things to better help me understand the subject.

I spent around 3 hours doing my work, an hour for each class, making sure I at least understand the material. I went online to check my work to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I heard the front door open and close with a little bit of force. It was hard to tell who it was, all orcs are really strong, and tend to over do things when not paying attention. It turned out to be Orlov, I figured by peaking my head out.

"Hey Sky, you need something?" He asked before he went in his room.

"Nothing major, I wanted to know if there was a group chat for the house? I wanted to cook dinner for everybody again. But I don't have you guys numbers, nor am I in a group chat." I said.

"Oh yeah, we do have one, give me your number, I'll add you to it." He pulled out his phone.

I gave him my number and he added me to the chat, I already had Aria's number, and Orlov just told me his, so that just left Nick.

"Hey, umm, do you think you could help me with something?" Orlov asked.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked him.

"I need some help with my math, and Aria would always say how you were a pro at math, and she would go to you for help." He said.

"OH, I remember you now, you play football right?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He smiled and puffed his chest out a bit.

"But yeah I can help you, you want to knock it out of the way right now?" I offered.

"Yeah, might as well get it over with." He lead me into his room.

He got out his workbook and textbook and showed me what he had problems solving.

"Oh this is easy, let me show you a different way to think about it." I told him.

He had some geometry like stuff so I was grabbing random objects around his room using them as examples. I could show him how to do the problem, but that won't mean he'll understand it. If I help him understand the process, then he can solve the problem himself.

"Oh man Aria was right, you are good at this. Thanks, I really appreciate it." Orlov tells me.

"It's no problem, anytime you need help with anything, just let me know. I'm happy to help." I tell him.

"You want to join me for a few games of COD?" He asked me.

"You have any other work you need to do?" I asked him.

"No, I got it all done in class and during my hour break period." He said.

"Sure, I'll play a little, then I'm going to go cook." I told him.

He put it on Blackout immediately this time around, a first we were dying a little bit. I blamed it on both of us just now starting to play. After the first 3 games, we started to place higher in the matches. In our last game, we got really far, 3rd team, before someone killed Orlov, so I was left by myself playing. I was able to take the last two teams out and win the game.

"YEEEEESSSS!" We both cheered.

Orlov picked me up and spun me around, before Nick opened the door, that's when Orlov put me down.

"Well, time to get cooking." I smiled and walked towards the door.

"What's going on in here?" Nick frowned a bit.

"Sky here just carried me to a victory." He said.

"Oh please. I'm making tacos that sound okay?" I asked them both.

"Yeah that's fine, corn or flour?" Nick asked.

"Well which do you want?" I asked.

"Corn." Nick said.

"I hate corn, it's all dry and nasty. FLOUR PLEASE!" Orlov said.

"How about I make both, I like both so they won't go to waste." I laughed at them.

They agreed and I went downstairs to brown the meat, that's when Aria came in.

"How was your first day?" She asked me.

"Nothing too exciting." I said.

"Meet anyone?" She asked.

"Someone named Demetri, but I get a playboy feeling from him, not that I'm looking for a relationship. I just--"

"Yes, the drama attached to the dick-- I mean man." She cut me off.

"Exactly." I laughed at her.

"Tacos?" She asked standing next to me.

"Yep, corn or flour?" I asked her.

"I'll gladly take flour, who eats corn?" She said in a fake disgust.

"I do, and apparently Nick does too." I laughed at her.

"You two are something else." She shook her head and went upstairs.

I finished making the taco meat, and I assembled all the toppings and tortillas out.

I sent a text out, letting everyone know that the food is done, shortly after everyone came down.

"Just taste it." I handed my taco out to Aria.

She hesitated for a second before she bit into it.

"Mmm, you know, that actually is good, what did you do to it?" She asked me.

"I warmed it up of course." I laughed at her.

"O, you really should try it." Aria took a taco off my plate.

"And convert me to your corn tortilla loving cult, I think not." He put up an argument.

"Please." I gave him a slight pout.

He stared at me, debating whether he wanted to take a bite.

"Man, you don’t play fair." He took the taco from Aria, biting into it.

"Damn, when you're right, you're right. This is good." He laughed nodding his head.

"Told you." Nick pitched in.

"I still love my flour though." Orlov hurried and added.

I shook my head and laughed at him.  We talked and laughed a bit before I got tired. I cleaned up and put away the leftovers. I went upstairs and took my shower, I checked to make sure my bag was packed for tomorrow and I went to sleep.

//Masterlist//

[dysthymiadysfunction]

Okay, so I posted once and dropped off the face of the earth. Whoops.

I’d love to say “I’ve been super busy with work” or “I’ve been on holiday!” but honestly I’ve just been trying to keep my head above water. It’s been a mess of appointments with various mental health teams, work, pet care, house work and attempting to force myself to do things to will supposedly help with how terrible I feel.

And I’m not going to lie; it’s mostly been out of spite that I’ve been doing these things. It’s so when I go to the doctors/see a therapist/ family member or co-worker asks how I’m doing and if I’ve tried X, Y or Z I can say “Yes, I’m doing yoga, I’m going swimming, I’m taking my meds, I’m doing the CBT workbooks I got from the library and I’m meditating”. Heck I even have a Headspace subscription and an extensive collection of colouring books and sharpie pens.

Pro-Tip; felt tip pens make colouring a lot easier if you have wrist/finger pain.

But hey, if my determination to tell people that I’m doing all that crap to shut them up is stronger than the depression and anxiety I’m not going to complain. At least it’s getting done.

Anyway, I promise this is all linked to what I wanted to talk about today. Which is; Depression and motivation.

It’s a struggle that really eats away at me. And I see it affecting other people around me as well.

Sometimes it’s just shrugging off something until tomorrow that I really should, but don’t really want to do e.g. cleaning out the guinea pigs litter trays. And sometimes it’s not washing my hair for two weeks. Or leaving the laundry to accumulate for weeks on end. Or, in one really bad case, letting paperwork I couldn’t be bothered to put away to clutter my desk at work for weeks.

Sometimes it’s a bit more serious. E.g. I just can’t cook dinner, leaving wet laundry in the machine for days on end, or putting off the less enjoyable parts of my job. All of which impact not only me, but the people around me. But it’s usually a minor inconvenience for others at least. Although in the case of the first one, it can be an excuse to eat Burger King on a Tuesday night. Which is at least tasty?

But there’s a few things I do (or don’t do) that are really not good, and honestly I’m ashamed of. At my worst I didn’t bathe for a month. A whole freaking month. No wet wipes, no showers, not even a damp flannel. Just me stewing in my own filth, and trying to hold myself together with dry shampoo, deodorant and strong perfume. I honestly can’t excuse it. I just felt so terrible the idea of even a quick shower was exhausting. I had to cut chunks out of my hair where it was so matted from not being washed. And I developed a skin infection. It was bad.

Honestly I’m a little apprehensive about including that admission. But I think it’s important to talk about those bits of depression. Depression is so often depicted by well-manicured young women with a single tear and artfully smudged mascara. When, it’s really not that at all. It’s wearing the same leggings for a week straight because you can’t muster the motivation to change more than just your shirt. And even that’s only because you’ve sat and done some mental calculations and decided it’s less effort to change your t-shirt than it is to explain why you’ve been wearing the same thing for multiple days to people.

According to Smith (2013) a common characteristic of depression is “a diminishment in or lack of action and motivation”. And oh heck do I feel that.

It’s something that CBT focuses on greatly as well. But the best advice you really get from your therapist is to “make yourself do it, even if you don’t want to”. At least in my experience anyway. Personally I find that only works for so long.

But by the time I’ve forced myself to get out of bed, get dressed, make myself look like I didn’t just roll out of bed, walk to work, eat breakfast, do my job (to varying degrees of quality I’ll admit), get lunch and walk home I don’t have a lot of “force myself” left. And I work part time, so for people in my situation who do work full time, I can only imagine how tired you must feel.

I don’t really have anywhere I’m going with this, no profound statements or anything. Just that if you’re also going through this; you’re not alone. And it’s okay to take a break from “forcing yourself” to do things sometimes. Obviously not all the time, but sometimes you need that break. Or maybe just pick your fights with your depression.

Some days when I’m feeling overwhelmed and fatigued by it all I’ll try and prioritise things. For example; it’s more important to brush my teeth than my hair, root canal is expensive and takes weeks to resolve. But matted hair can be cut out in seconds or brushed out later with some conditioner and elbow grease in a few minutes.

Another thing I do is use preventative measures. I have very long and sort of curly hair, and when I’m feeling good, I love it and I love looking after it. But when I’m sick, as I’ve said before, it gets neglected quickly. So if I can feel it coming on I’ll put it up in twin plaits so it doesn’t get so dirty or so tangled. None of this fancy braiding though, I have neither the patience or the skill for it. Just basic on your way to first day of Reception class at primary school in the 90s plaits.

I also cook in batch so I don’t have to worry about it during the week, and lay my clothes for work out for the week on Sundays. It’s a bit of a pain in my arse on Sunday, but when I’m stumbling around in the dark muttering about wanting to die before work I appreciate it.

What about you guys? Do any of you have things you struggle with in particular? Or any hints and tips that you find help you? I’m always looking for new things to make my life a bit easier.

Reference:

Smith, B. 2013. Depression and motivation. Phenomenology and the Cognotive Sciences. Volume 12. Issue 4. Pp 615-635.

[lovenotesuggestions]

Hello! So I've got a problem with like, my thought process I guess you could say. I think it's because of my mom, but honestly I don't really know. I get paranoid really easily over the smallest to the most overly drastic and dramatic things. For example, my girlfriend likes to drink alcohol, and while my morals are against alcohol, I'd never stop her from drinking, and she likes to go with her best friend maybe 2-3 times a month (🍥 part 1)

And while I know that's not an amount that could do extreme damage to her body, I'm always terrified of something going wrong. And another example would be like, I could make a minor mistake, and I'll be terrified that I've angered or upset my girlfriend, and I would sometimes refuse to stop talking about a problem until it's resolved in fear that I would lose her before I can and the last thing we do together is argue (like in super dramatic movies) (🍥 part 2)

I know it's EXTREMELY toxic of me, and is very self-destructive. And I know it's a combination of my anxiety, insecurity, and paranoia. Heck, I don't even think it's my mom's fault. She used to tell me smaller things, like I needed to stop eating rice or else I could get diabetes (it runs in the family) but I think the small things like that built up, along with dramatic movies that always tugged at my emotions, that made me paranoid. (🍥 part 3)

Anyway, I kind of got off topic giving you some bg info. What I wanted to ask is, what advice would you recommend to stop or at least lessen such a terrible thought process? Therapy isn't an option for me, so I was hoping you'd have another possibility for me. I probably sound super crazy and unstable, but honestly this stuff doesn't affect me too often. It just fluctuates every now and then. But I'd appreciate the advice. Thank you listening to my craziness! (🍥 part 4/4)

Hello! I sent an ask a couple days ago that consisted of 4 parts, and a 🍥 emoji, and I didn't realize that it was claimed already! So I was wondering if I were able to claim 🍓💕? Thanks so much for what you do!

You don’t sound crazy or unstable, and you don’t sound like a toxic person - you sound like a person with symptoms of anxiety. And whilst it’s good to recognise when your behaviours might be harmful to yourself and to others, it’s not helpful to anyone for you to beat yourself up and be self-deprecating. You’re not crazy - you’re experiencing symptoms. I think that’s the first thing worth trying to do: be more aware of the language you use to describe yourself and try and adjust it to be a little more fair and a little kinder to yourself. If you wouldn��t talk about a close friend that way, try not to talk about yourself that way. 

I always recommend seeking medical help if you’re able to - I appreciate that therapy isn’t an option, but if you’re able to see your GP that might at least give you some support. For example, if your doctor has a record that you’ve been having these difficulties, it can be easier to get support in things like getting a sick note or extenuating circumstances or additional accommodations if you need something like that for school/work etc. You could also potentially access medication even if therapy isn’t an option. There are a bunch of effective anti-anxiety meds on the market that you might find helpful if you’re able to access them. For instance, I’m on beta blockers that I take as and when I need them if I’m feeling particularly anxious, and they can reduce the physical symptoms of anxiety (like trembling/fast heart rate/feeling nauseous, etc.) which can make anxiety spikes a little easier to cope with. If this or any other type of anxiety medication is of interest to you, and you have the means to visit your family doctor to talk to them about it, that’s another potential treatment option if you can’t access therapy. 

Another thing worth trying is to attempt to keep track of your triggers. There are a lot of really great mood tracking apps (I use Daylio personally) that you can use to identify how you’ve been feeling on a particular day, and what you did. Being mindful of what you’re doing and how it’s making you feel, and examining if you can identify a cause of your anxiety spikes can be really helpful in the long run, because it helps you identify behaviours that make your anxiety better or worse, and allows you to change the way you act and avoid any triggers you identify. Similarly, you can also identify coping mechanisms you’ve tried, and examine whether they’re healthy or unhealthy, and how effective they are. 

Also I know this is really cliché, but some super accessible things that a lot of people do to cope with anxiety are things like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises. Stuff like full-body mind scans and progressive muscle relaxation are really easy to do, and there are dozens of apps and youtube videos and stuff out there that can guide you through exercises that you can use if you’re feeling particularly paranoid, and they can help to calm your physical symptoms and sort of reset your thought practice. Of course they don’t work for everyone, and they aren’t a cure, but they can be a really helpful coping mechanism.

If you’re not able to access therapy in person, there are still a lot of resources you can use. If cost is a factor, there are a lot of lower-cost online therapy options, as well as free support services like online counselling (i.e. 7cupsoftea) and anxiety helplines/hotlines that allow you to speak to an adviser over the phone or via instant messenger, which might be helpful if you find yourself particularly panicky and need someone to talk you down. 

As well as that, there are a lot of online resources to help you cope longer term. Mental health charity websites can often be a good place to start looking to research potential treatment options and coping mechanisms. A lot of CBT worksheets are available online for you to work through by yourself - even if you don’t have a therapist to go through them with, you can still do those exercises. If you google something like ‘CBT anxiety workbook’ or ‘CBT anxiety exercises’ you should come up with a ton of resources that you can flick through and see if you can identify any that you think might be helpful. Stuff like making a table to record details of your anxiety spikes can be really helpful (these usually involve details such as: when it happened, what was happening at the time, why you think it happened, how bad was your anxiety on a scale of 1 to 10, what actions did you take to try and calm those feelings, how effective were those actions, how bad was your anxiety on the same scale after taking those actions) in terms of identifying patterns in your behaviour, and what helps and what makes it worse. The physical act of writing everything down makes you more aware of and more likely to examine your own thought processes and behavioural patterns, and also allows you to identify patterns you may not have seen before. Another CBT exercise I’ve read about that can help with feelings of anxiety in the moment is a likelihood exercise - asking yourself what your anxiety/paranoia thinks will happen, estimating how many times you’ve thought that would happen, thinking about how many times it’s actually happened in reality, and comparing that, can help you rationalise those fears. 

Other similar techniques include:

Doing some sort of vigorous activity to clear the anxiety from your body - short periods of exercise, house/yard work like vacuuming, turning up some loud music and having a dance

Making a list of soothing activities (i.e. having a hot drink, taking a shower, washing your face, wrapping yourself up in a blanket, etc.) and picking one when you’re feeling shaky to help self-soothe

Trying to get some mental distance from your worries by finding something else to focus on to interrupt those spirals - try and make it something productive and/or enjoyable. Doing something productive, even if it’s really simple like gathering up dirty laundry, gives you a task to focus on and can help you feel like you’ve accomplished something. 

Setting aside daily ‘worry clearing time,’ in which you write down the things you’re worried about. If these worries arise outside of that time, try to tell yourself ‘I’ll worry about that later, but not now.’ 

In combination with the above, you can make an action plan of what you would do if any of your worries happen, so you feel more secure and prepared. 

Some people find it helpful when they’re identifying their worries because they can them see the ones that they have no control over, or that aren’t actually that big a deal, and decide to set them aside and prioritise other things. 

Try not to avoid your anxiety, or the things you don’t want to do because of it. Acknowledging it as something that you’re experiencing but that is separate from yourself - a external entity or force inside your head, can be helpful. When you start to feel anxious, some people actually address their anxiety and talk to it like it’s a person - this can help to separate it from your own personality and help you forgive yourself for being symptomatic. 

Research unhealthy coping mechanisms so you can identify them. Things like over-reassurance (asking for a bit of reassurance from a friend/family member/partner is fine, but if you’re doing it all the time or need to repeat themselves because you don’t believe them at first), stress eating, avoidance, and substance use are some common ones. 

I’ll slap a big caveat on this and point out that I’m not a therapist or a medical professional, so take all of this with a pinch of salt and make sure to do your own research - I’m just passing along things I’ve read/heard from others. 

I hope that’s helpful, and I wish you all the best in your road to recovery 💕

Followers: if anyone else has any tips for this anon or experience you’d like to share, feel free to do so!

[frugalhoe]

Day Off - 10/1/19

Yesterday was inventory night so I worked a double shift 10A - 2:30A at my vanilla job. It was super late so fwb/boss gave me a ride home. I read & napped in the break room for an hour while he finished up some things. Unfortunately a coworker saw us leaving together but I don't think he'll think too much of it as he knows I don't like going home late at night due to past issues with creeps.

In the car, we chatted eventually one thing led to another...

We were both so tired from work... I didnt expect anything sexual to happen. I touched his arm while he was driving and that got him going I guess 😂

I slept like a rock, woke up, rubbed one out, showered and heated up some leftovers for breakfast.

I went out on a shorter walk with my dog. It's cold and rainy today so we didnt go very far. Happy to say I'm 100% recovered from my race on Saturday. My hunger has been ferocious the past few days but it's starting to level back out again.

I watched some Hulu and cooked a yummy vegetarian pizza and also ate some poached salmon sushi (free from work last night).

Later, I finally cooked up a batch of homemade soup. Pasta shells, spinach, carrots, onion & cannellini beans. Should last me a week. Need to buy a cheap thermos for work. 

I've been getting the pennysaver at my new place so I started clipping some coupons. Only for things I actually use. I already use digital coupons for grocery shopping but the paper ones are manufacturer coupons which means it's good at any store I choose.

I unboxed a favorite weight lifting book and a math workbook. I'll spend some time on those before bed.

Proud of myself for spending $0 today! I’m trying to decide whether or not to drop $200 on a monthly bus pass tomorrow :/ I did some numbers and I keep going back and forth on it. I still haven’t found a second vanilla job yet. With my commute eating so much of my free time, I don’t know how I can fit a second job into my schedule other than on my day(s) off from my primary job. 

10/1/19

[thelaughinglamb]

1. Shadow Work Series—Dealing With Powerful Emotions

Shadow Work is commonly understood as the unearthing of beliefs, desires and fears that hide within the sphere of our own subconscious mind. It is as esoteric or as secular as one may choose it to be. While some use divinatory tools, others do not. Witches or people who identify as pagan may choose to use magic and ritual to evoke powerful images. Ecstatic dance or altered states of consciousness can (when practiced safely) help to achieve a more open frame of mind, but to do so is not necessary. All that is needed a journal, a pen and a willingness to work.

For as many books published and blogs written on the subject, I find that dredging up uncomfortable and often disquieting aspects of ourselves is not easy. Many of us engage in such work without a necessary understanding on how to frame the emotions it can sometimes evoke, largely because we’ve never learned how. We struggle with overwhelming emotions and seek out shadow work for self-understanding, but when confronted with deeper trauma we may be hit with the reality that knowing isn’t always enough.

That being said, for my own benefit and the benefit of others, I’ve decided to undertake a series exploring my own quasi-esoteric practices in the pursuit of self understanding and share how I’ve applied dialectical behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy and other therapeutic practices to help frame the feelings that arise around shadow work. Much of what I share will come from texts written by actual therapists, whose books are available to be applied in and out of session.

Note: If you are currently attending therapy sessions or already have a pre-existing relationship with a licensed professional, I advise you to chat about whether or not these strategies are for you. 

For those of you that don’t know what shadow work is, the link on the very first mention of the word shadow work should lead back to a very potent masterpost done by @unmaskingthedivine, with everything you need to get started.

Now, let’s get into it and see what we’ve got.

1. Self Soothing Strategies—Shadow Work & Distress Tolerance

So for this three part post, we’re going to look at three different ways we can deal with stressful emotional responses as they arise in our shadow work using a combination of dialectical behavioral therapy and personal insight. We can start out by employing what are called “self-soothing techniques.”

Whenever the overwhelming flood of emotions come during any given shadow work session and you no longer feel stable, cease all shadow working activity. Do not resume until you've taken a break. Remember that shadow work is an exploration of the subjective!  Whatever you find will be influenced by how you are feeling. Furthermore, your wellbeing is what’s most important. Begin by self-soothing, first by putting the pen and paper down and distracting yourself. Avoidance is unhealthy, but believe it or not, distraction in the temporary sense is your greatest ally. Here are some suggestions:

a. Distract with pleasurable activity, taking a walk, engaging in a hobby that occupies the hands such as knitting, watercolor painting or playing an instrument. Dance. Absorb yourself in a book or video game for a measured period of time. Find something that draws your attention away from the feelings for at least half an hour, or as long as it takes for you to feel stable.

b. Soothe by engaging your five senses. Listen to calming music such as Marconi Union, lo-fi hip hop or soft, ambient tunes. Put Rainy Mood on in the background if you’re mellowed by the sound of rain. Chew gum if you enjoy the taste. Treat yourself to a food that you’re permitted to eat that you also enjoy. You can also use this as a distraction technique, if you find cooking pleasurable! Relax your eyes by scrolling through stimboards, like the ones done by @prideslime and @clearslime. Watch an episode of a low-stress television show you enjoy. If you have a pet, bond with them through touch (if they like that sort of thing) and if you have a pillow, give it a comforting squeeze. Take a shower at the temperature you prefer. If you like particular textures, try using a worry stone or a velvet cloth by keeping it in your pocket! Go to a bakery just for the smell. Try burning a scented candle. Cut out perfume cards from magazines.

c. Distract yourself with counting and breathing techniques. Count both the inhalation and the exhalation of each breath backwards from ten, focusing on the sensation of the air as it passes through your lips. Do this as many times as necessary. Count or solve math problems. Focus on things like word puzzles, sudoku or brain-teaser / neuroplasticity apps. Try things like Viridi.

2. Radical Acceptance: Seeing Things For What They Are

One of the most difficult parts of dealing with overwhelming emotions are our own innate reactions to them. Our automatic response is to repress, subdue or lash out against our natural disposition toward feeling. However in shadow work, feelings are essential. Emotions are often the signposts that help us interpret what it is that we’ve found. Radical acceptance does a lot to help us then, to not only accept our feelings but later use them to empower positive change.

So in order to change things about ourselves and throughout life in general, we must first accept them uncritically and as they are. That does not mean we have to approve of them! Once we’ve found something in ourselves we might not necessarily like or know what to do with, instead of immediately making up our minds, we can practice acceptance instead.

If we discover aspects of the shadow that we dislike or find painful, we can say the following:

Every choice both I and others have made have led to this moment. 

I cannot affect what has already happened.

The present is all I can control. I am the only one who can change things.

Fighting the past only blinds me to the present.

What I discovered is what should be, given all that’s happened before.

I am the agent of my own rescue. I do not need to rewrite what’s happened to me.

Try practicing these things not only in shadow work, but also in every day life and you’ll be amazed. Once you’ve accepted any given situation, solutions begin to follow. “What is” becomes within your control; you become the arbiter of your own destiny.

3. Emotional Signposts: What Do They Mean?

After you feel adequately soothed, relaxed and in control of the present, you’re able to revisit what you’ve found. One of my favorite comics by @elodieunderglass​ talks about the emotional recognition, a concept I learned from an old acquaintance of mine. Emotions are actually our guide. Through learning more about emotional responses, we learn about ourselves. Sometimes when we assume we understand the impetus for an emotional response right away, we do ourselves a disservice. After the shadow work session, we can look at the material we journaled about within the framework of the emotional response we had and determine whether or not our findings were indicative of something more. 

Did that feeling of hopelessness overtake us because we are objectively helpless, or was it due to a history of having our autonomy obstructed or taken away? Did our feelings of shame indicate that the quality or characteristic we found in ourselves was unacceptable, or did it perhaps indicate a discomfort with our own identity thanks to feedback by our families and friends? Were we angry because we truly wished to lash out in violence or is was it because we were masking a deeper, more vulnerable emotion and using our anger to regain control?

As we reflect on our shadow work within the frame of our own emotions, we stand to gain more from it. The more we become accustomed to our feelings and to coping with them, the less we behave in ways that are potentially destructive, avoidant or afraid. This way, the quality of our life may begin to improve in unexpected ways!

It’s my hope that this was of some help to you, if you’ve made it this far. It’s a pleasure to share my findings with you and my hope they help yield insight that help you to find some peace of mind. I’ll include references below!

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood and Jeffrey Brantley

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

[lalka-laski]

1 How often are you optimistic? I’m getting better at it. But my anxiety always has me leaning towards the worst case scenario.  2 Would you say your thoughts are generally rational and logical or irrational and illogical? See above about my anxiety^ Irrational is my middle name! But again, I’m getting better at it. I’ve done some intense personal work lately that helps me to challenge and reverse my negative thoughts.  3 Tell an interesting fact about your favorite country? I’m not so sure I have a favorite country 4 Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? My claddagh ring from my mom and my promise ring from Glenn. 5 Are you the type to pay attention to detail? I fixate on the unassuming & unimportant details. So I might overlook something super obvious but zero in on something small and unnecessary. Another feature of my anxiety, I think. 

6 To you, what is especially distracting? E v e r y t h i n g.  7 What are some things that are important in your life right now? As I said before, the personal development I’ve been doing lately has proved incredibly beneficial and I only see it improving my life more and more. Most of the techniques I’m utilizing are CBT methods & I can’t believe I’ve never used this type of therapy before.  8 When was the last time you did some major cleaning? A couple weeks ago. I’m pretty neat & I’m a “clean as I go” person, so I never have to do one big major clean-up. Except after a depressive episode.  9 Have you ever thrown anything away, and regretted it later? Countless things.  1o Are you the type to regret things, or live and learn? I never seem to learn from my mistakes 11 How often do you feel like you need time to yourself? Quite often.  12 Do you like being around other people? Why is this? Friends & certain family members, of course. But the general public? Hard pass.  13 Do you feel like anyone “gets” you? Who? I think I’m a pretty transparent person so honestly, most people probably get me.

14 What would you be most likely to do with a friend, today? Well, Glenn & I are gonna go on a nice nature trail walk and then get some ice cream!  15 When are you most likely to be crabby? Anytime I’m woken up abruptly. This happens most often between 11-12:30 every night when my upstairs neighbors for some reason go on a stampede. It happens like clockwork and nothing enrages me more. It’s taken everything in me not to go beating down there door but one of these days...  16 How about upbeat and cheerful? I’m most upbeat when I feel relieved and anxiety-free. So usually the aftermath of an anxiety-inducing situation, when I’m reached a resolution, I’m BEAMING. That’s when I feel the best.  17 Who challenges you the most? In what way? Glenn is a strong contender for that. He notices features of myself that I try to hide or avoid & forces them into the light. This is a great thing for my personal growth but it can get uncomfortable. I’ve actually told him before that I can understand why a lot of his past relationships didn’t work out. People don’t want to confront the negative parts of themselves. (To be clear: he also COMPLETELY celebrates my positive traits & brings them to the surface. My point is that he recognizes me and understands me fully: the good, the bad, & everything in between. There is no hiding from him).  18 Who seems to hold you back? In what way? Myself, absolutely. I get too wrapped up in my own head, my own fantasies, my own absurd expectations & delusions.  19 What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? All that comes to mind was my coworker asking me to go for a drink after work yesterday. Part of me wanted to go, but an even bigger part of me desperately wanted to go home & take a long shower. Which I did. & it was glorious.  2o Would you rather have a quiet day at home, or be on the go? If I’m on the go doing fun things then I’d choose that option right now. I’ve had PLENTY of quiet days at home these past few months.  21 Do you think you made a good impression on the last person you met? The last person I met was probably a patient & I’m gonna say “yes.” I’m very friendly & cordial at work... patients seem to like me. 22 How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? Don’t have a fucking pet if you won’t properly care for it. Simple. People who neglect their pets are scum. 23 Should there be an application process for having children? In a perfect world, yes. But there’s no moral or practical way to do that & you certainly can’t stop people from getting pregnant. 

24 Are you able to ask for help when you need it? I’m very good at that, actually. I know that life is a team effort & I rely on others for plenty of things.  25 How intense is your anger? Have you ever hurt anyone|yourself? I get irritable and crabby but I’d hardly ever describe myself as “angry.” And I’ve certainly never hurt myself or anyone else as a result of those feelings.  26 What is something red that you like to eat? Baby Bel Cheese. Well, the packaging is red. I have no idea why that’s the first food that came to mind? I couldn’t have said fucking strawberries or apples or something normal?  27 Do you ever have trouble getting lighters to work? Very often, especially now because I don’t have my acrylic nails.  28. If someone drinks, would that lower your opinion of that person? I’m a frequent drinker so uh, no. Definitely not.  29 What if they did drugs? It’s never ever my place to judge 3o Do you know anyone who is abusive? Are you abusive? Um...can we like, not...? 32 If your best friend wanted to cheat on his/her partner, you would say? It’s never the answer. I’d advise him/her to break up with their partner & let them down gently if they really were interested in seeing other people.  33 Who do you know that gives very sound advice? My friends, my sisters, Glenn. And my therapist but that kinda goes without saying. 

34 What do you think makes a person weak? Dishonesty, abusing power, refusal to admit wrongdoing, refusal to admit/discuss emotions, the list goes on.  35 What makes a person strong? For the sake of the argument I’m just gonna say the exact opposite of everything I listed above  37 Name one thing that you think defines you as a person? Sensitivity  38 Who do you go to when you need comfort? Glenn, my friends, my parents, the angels I pray to 39 Is there anyone|thing with whom|which you like to cuddle? Actually not at the moment. I mean I *should* say Glenn but I’m not in a very cuddly mood right now. I’m too energized! 4o Do nightmares still bother you? Occasionally. But I don’t have the traditional type of nightmares. No monsters or ghosts or near-death experiences. My bad dreams are manifestations of my biggest insecurities & anxieties.  41 At what age did you start to feel like a teen, and not a kid anymore? 15 or 16 maybe? I felt like a bit of a late bloomer as compared to my friends.  42 Are you or were you in a hurry to grow up? Never. I’m still not. 43 What is a fear you have about living on your own? As much as I love living with Glenn, I enjoyed living on my own so much. And my apartment complex is in a safe area so I never felt uncomfortable or scared being alone. It has good vibes to it.  44 Do you have any survey-maker recommendations? If yes, who? Ha, no. I get majority of my surveys from the same girl’s Tumblr but she’s not the one who makes them. 45 Who was the last person to completely fascinate you? The author of the workbook I’m currently reading/doing... does he count?

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BEST Motivational SPEECH | How To Get People To Change [3 Keys] | be the change that you want to see

Best motivational speech

Motivational speakers are cultural lubricants that help accelerate the performance engine of companies. Research shows that with a boost in employee engagement and morale, company profits follow. Motivation comes in many forms and goes by many names – motivational speakers have overcome adversity, beat the odds, and invested insurmountable amounts of time and effort to reach for their dreams and achieve success – and can inspire your team to reach new heights. Want to fire up your team? BigSpeak Motivational Speakers Bureau is your resource for the top motivational speakers, who can engage, empower, inspire and motivate your people

Inspirational keynote speakers help: Engage. Empower. Inspire! People are limited more by attitude than opportunity, especially when fear, anger and complacency pervade the workplace. BigSpeak’s inspirational speakers are your top resource for popular motivational speakers, and proven inspirational leaders who have overcome extreme adversity, conquered insurmountable obstacles and can engage, re-energize, and motivate your people. BigSpeak’s renowned team of business inspirational speakers and motivational speakers are masters at not only creating and igniting, but maintaining and sustaining that inner drive to achieve and succeed within your organization. We like to say, “Inspiration is like a shower – you need it everyday!”

“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”

Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Inspirational & Motivational Speakers

Do you want to motivate your audience at an upcoming event or business meeting? If so, have you considered inviting someone who can do this for you? A motivational speaker is someone with an amazing life story to tell – but it isn’t just the story itself that will motivate the audience, it is the way they tell it and the passion behind it that makes their speeches all the more inspiring.

A motivational speaker has the ability to uplift an audience through exemplary communication skills. A motivational speaker will usually have earned the right to speak through achievement that may have been derived from business success, success over adversity or perhaps outstanding sporting success. Saxton motivational speakers transcend all the speaking disciplines, incorporating their skills to make a dramatic difference in business, health, sport, education, the environment and a host of other areas. Motivational speakers can make that very special difference to your event.

I recently met with a guy who’s trying to become a motivational speaker. He’s a good guy with good things to say.

But the thing is … how should I put it … the whole motivational speakerbranding doesn’t give a good first impression. It’s old-school at the best of times, and just plain awkward the rest of the time.

And yet, we all enjoy motivation and inspiration. I read Runner’s Worldevery month not because I need any help running (nothing much changes in the world of running from month to month) but because of the inspiring profiles they print. You’ve got the woman who lost 300 pounds by jogging three times a week, the blind guy who ran a marathon with his son, and so on. I’m a sucker for an inspiring story.

So motivation is good—it’s just the branding of motivation that’s awkward. What’s to be done? My friend Colleen, AKA The Great Communicatrix, explained it best one day while we were hanging out in Austin a while back:

“You can’t just BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER. No one likes that shit. What you should do is BE PASSIONATE ABOUT SOMETHING. Show up and talk about something you give a damn about. Your passion will be motivational in itself.”

I think Colleen’s right. If you want to be a speaker, you can go to Toastmasters meetings and learn how you are supposed to hold your hands, the right way to make eye contact with the audience, and so on. But I think it’s better to live an active life and figure out what you’re really passionate about. Then, talk about that.

You’ll get better as you go along. If you give a talk and forget something, if you say um or you know too much, if you break some kind of “rule” of speaking protocol, people will get over it.

It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to improve on the technical things. It just means that the message is more important than the presentation. Between passion and presentation, passion wins every time.

“Motivational speakers” try to manufacture motivation, and this doesn’t usually work. Colleen’s way (the better way) is to introduce your passion to the world around you instead. The right kind of passion is both infectious and contagious. Motivation made easy!

How do you want to change the world? Why not take that thing with you everywhere you go?

Get that right first. Then, even if you’re only talking to one person, you just might be a motivational speaker.

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The 10 Best Motivational Speeches Ever

Get ready for the 10 best motivational speeches ever. The speeches cover many key aspects of life, including purpose, health, wealth, and understanding what really matters to you in life.

If you are embarking on improving your life or achieving a massive goal, you will inevitably hit hurdles and feel resistance. At these moments, it’s wonderful to hear from other people who were able to push through these hurdles and succeed. These speeches can provide just that bump of inspiration you’ll need in order to take that extra step and accomplish what those around you have not.

If you are looking for how to tie the concepts from these speeches into a cohesive self-improvement plan, check out our Complete Guide to Ambitious Life Victories or download our free Goal Achievement Workbook.

1. The Best 1 Minute Motivational Speech Ever: Jim Carrey

This short speech is absolutely incredible. People often choose their life path out of fear, not what they want. It’s very possible to fail regardless of the path you take, so what’s riskier? Failing at something you don’t want to do or taking a chance on something you love? Your mindset may be such that you don’t believe doing what you love is possible. This can artificially box you in.

2. The Best Motivational Speech about Creating Happiness: Charlie Chaplain

In the speech he criticizes modern man saying that greed has poisoned men’s souls and has barricaded the world with hate. From there though, he paints a beautiful picture of hope saying that there is no reason to despair as we all have the power within to create happiness and to make this life free and beautiful.

3. Motivational Speech to Eat and Live Healthy: Joe Rogan

Joe Rogan is great to listen to. While prominent in the comedy and mixed martial arts worlds, once you learn more about Joe Rogan, you may be surprised by how successful he is in so many areas of life. He comes across as one of the most concise, down-to-earth, tell-it-like-it-is people out there today. He has an incredible take on living and eating healthy, and he pulls it off in under 2.5 minutes.

4. Oprah’s Motivational Speech for Succeeding as a Woman with POWER: Oprah Winfrey (15:10)

While pretty much everything Oprah Winfrey says is motivational and touching, this speech stands as one of her best. It is delivered on reflection of how far women have come since the 1980s. While this is focused on women, the speech applies to everyone. Her fundamental finding is that power is the cause of success, with power being strength over time. That means persistence, which is common to nearly all of these videos. Enjoy the raw emotional power of Oprah in this video.

5. The Speech That will Motivate You to Reconsider the Power of Your Mind: John Hagelin

What if a Quantum Physics PhD who worked at CERN, Stanford, and at other very high profile organizations told you about research demonstrating that group meditation can reduce war violence and crime? What if the correlation was stronger than that of aspirin improving headache symptoms?

The incredible research summarized here by John Hagelin will show you just how little we know about how the world works, and just how powerful our minds can really be. Personally, this video reminds me not to take things at face value and be open to exploring the power within all of us.

6. The Best Motivational Speech on Overcoming Adversity: Amy Cuddy

Skip to the 15-minute mark if you want to go straight in to the motivational aspects of this incredible video. After talking about her very practical research on how posture and body language drastically impact your life, Amy Cuddy goes into her own personal story that covers having a mentor and faking it until you make it, all with an exceptionally inspiration message.

7. The Speech that will Motivate You to Persevere and Transform Your Health and Body: Greg Plitt (3:50)

Greg Plitt gives a highly passionate speech about what it takes to achieve physical greatness, a healthy body, and a winning attitude. His message is that it’s about perseverance. Not genetics. Not something you’re born with.

8. The Speech that will Motivate You to Believe in Yourself: Arnold Schwarzenegger

If you want someone who has found insane amounts of success in multiple manners, look no further than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Consider that he came from a foreign country, put a sport on the map, took the movie industry by storm, and then became governor of a state that is larger and more complex than most countries in the world. Arnold had these dreams as a child and he executed, despite being repeatedly told his dreams were impossible, he wasn’t good enough, his accent was a problem, and more. See how he shut out the rest of the world and followed his inner voice to success.

9. The Best Sports Movie Motivational Speech: Hoosiers Gene Hackman

Worrying about what the outcome of your efforts could be is a waste of energy. There are certain variables you can’t control, so losing sleep over them is fruitless. Winners focus on what they can control and eliminate the rest of the noise. They also aren’t fazed when things they can’t control get in the way of the outcome because they know they have spent their efforts the right way.

10. Motivational Speech to Help You Overcome Fear: Georges St Pierre

We will close on perhaps my favorite video of all. This is Georges St Pierre talking about overcoming fear. Despite being the long-standing champion, he is scared every time he faces a new opponent. See his emotional speech on how he manages these feelings with preparation, and how he uses this power as fuel. This video is mixed very well to the perfect song choice. Even if you aren’t a fan of mixed martial arts, you can appreciate the exceptional intelligence of Georges St Pierre and what it takes to be an athlete at this level of any sport. Enjoy.

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Stuttering student who won nation's hearts on Educating Yorkshire becomes inspiring motivational speaker six years on

·     Mushy Asghar overcame his stammer in assembly speech on hit reality show

·     As he marks his 22nd birthday, he tweeted picture of him addressing thousands

·     He became a motivational speaker last year

7 Motivational Graduation Speeches That Will Inspire You

Feeling down? Confused? Not sure what to do with your life? These commencement speeches may have the answers you’re looking for.

If not that, at least it will inspire and motivate you

to bounce back in life.

Here are 7 motivational speeches to inspire you and change your life:

1. David Foster Wallace, 2005 Kenyon Graduation Speech27

“There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish5 swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”

In this commencement address, Wallace reminds us that we often forget, or take for granted, the most obvious things around us. He acknowledges it’s difficult to stay aware of what’s happening in the world, especially when you’re too busy dealing with the monologue inside your head.

That’s what a college education is about, according to him. It’s learning how to think, exercising some degree of control over your thoughts so you can choose what to pay attention to.

Our thoughts affect our realities, and the ability to choose how you “construct meaning from experience” will determine the lenses from which you see the world and how you react in return.

2. Ellen DeGeneres, 2009 Tulane University

“Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path and by all means you should follow that. Don’t give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Don’t take anyone’s advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.”

This is one of the funniest graduation speeches ever! All humor aside, this speech shows why it’s better to be true to yourself, instead of trying desperately to be a second-rate version of someone else.

For years, Ellen thought being bisexual might prevent her from being a successful stand-up comedian but it’s just not the case. Ellen proved that you can be successful, whoever you are, if you worked hard and learn from your past experiences— even one as sad as the death of a loved one.

3. Charlie Munger, 2007 University of California Law School

*Skip to 4:08 for the actual speech

“You’re not going to get very far in life based on what you already know. You’re going to advance in life by what you’re going to learn after you leave here.”12

Education doesn’t stop after you graduate from college. It doesn’t stop after you finish your MBA or PhD either. Munger says, “Wisdom acquisition is a moral duty. It’s not just something you do to advance in life.”

It’s a moral duty because it’s only through continuous learning that we can add to the vast knowledge of man kind. If we stopped learning, progress in all industries—computers, finance, engineering, biology, stops as well.

4. Michelle Obama, 2013 Eastern Kentucky University

“If you’re a Democrat, spend some time talking to a Republican. And if you’re a Republican, have a chat with a Democrat. Maybe you’ll find some common ground, maybe you won’t. But if you honestly engage with an open mind and an open heart, I guarantee you’ll learn something. And goodness knows we need more of that, because we know what happens when we only talk to people who think like we do — we just get more stuck in our ways, more divided, and it gets harder to come together for a common purpose. ”

As far as inspirational speeches go, Michelle Obama’s speech is very actionable. Her advice is simple (not easy), talk to each other with an open mind.

Different religion, race, political stand, it doesn’t matter. We can all learn from one another.

5. Jim Carrey, 2014 Maharashi University of Management

This is one of my favorite motivational speeches because Jim Carrey is such a good example of his message.

“So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn’t believe that that was possible for him, and so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an account.”

Carrey’s father lost his accounting job when he was 12, and it was then he realized that failure is inevitable, whether you’re doing what you want or not. If that’s the case, you might as well take a stab at doing something you love.

6. J.K Rowling, 2008 Harvard Commencement Address5

“I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea.”

For writers and creatives everywhere, this is probably one of the most inspirational videos there is.

Rowling was suffering from depression when he wrote the Harry Potter books. But through grit and patience with herself, she was able to complete the first Harry Potter Manuscript and in doing so escape the clutches of depression.

Thanks to her, the world has Harry Potter.

7.Bono, 2004 University of Pennsylvania

In case you don’t know him, Bono is the lead singer of the famous band U2.

Of course, being the rock star that he is, he leads his speech by saying, “My name is Bono, and I am a rock star”

Being a rock star, I thought Bono would talk about the perils of fame, the road to stardom or something to that effect. But instead, he talked about big ideas and changing the world.

In his speech, he urges graduates to carefully consider their big idea. “What are you willing to spend your moral capital, your intellectual capital, your cash, (and) your sweat equity in pursuing outside of the walls of the University of Pennsylvania? The world is more malleable than you think and it’s waiting for you to hammer it into shape,” he said.

What about you? Do you remember the speaker on your graduation day? What pearls of wisdom did he or she share?

34 Topics For a Great Motivational Speech

Good public speaking speech topics and topics for an actuating speaker.

A set of ten to wake up and persuade your audience to change their habits and attitude.

And a set of brand new ideas to prompt and propel your listeners to discover new views, contemporary worlds and unfamiliar opinions.

Let’s start with the behavior-altering speech topics.

If you succeed to get them to act like you propose, then you happen to be expert as a motivational speaker!

How to motivate the audience members to change their nutrition and diet food behavior and consume enough of fruit and vegetables daily.

Does the iPod speech technology forced PC users to migrate to Apple? Or work out other issues related to computers and stuff like that for alternative good public speaking speech topics.

Five strategies to promote savings for a comfortable life when you are retired. (You know, for example, the earlier students start with a solid personal pension plan, the better their retirement situation later … )

Five humanitarian things you can do to help other people after a hurricane, tropical cyclone or other natural disaster.

E.g. tell about a non-governmental organization (NGO) like the International Red Cross or Red Crescent Movement.

How to motivate scouts to get a complicated job done as a team?

Free coffee service at work helps to increase the productivity and loyalty of employees.

How to convince an African tribe that there has been a man on the moon. That is a real big challenge for motivational public speaking  – a good idea for some interaction with your listeners.

Methods for coaching and training a cheerleader team, and show how you motivate them to win competitions.

Scientific discoveries that make living with color blindness easier.

What the heck, just go after your dreams and your own pursuit of happiness!

Motivational Speech Topics

Good public speaking speech topics for the cause of changing opinions on hot topics, or amazing undiscovered ideas that could give insight in not very well-known themes and subjects:

Measuring national well-being is measuring national happiness.

Conscious living results in personal growth.

Managing people means leading, motivating, inspiring, and encouraging workers by applying motivational and other persuasive speech topics in chats in between the official functioning interviews that are held often each half a year.

Why and how to re-program your own memory structures with wise visualization techniques and avoid expectation failure.

Be pro-active in all you want to achieve, it pays off in the end.

Having to do things that we do not enjoy doing is called discipline.

Why people are never satisfied with what they have.

Happiness can be measured.

Making fun in life is more important than working.

Personal experience is more valuable than knowledge gained at school.

Time is much more worth than money.

Waiting is the hardest part of life.

Why nasty radio, television and internet programs should be banned.

Congress shall not abridge the freedom of speech, under no circumstances. (Retrieved from the constitutional fundamental political principles)

Convince your public that playing golf after someone’s retirement is not a complete waste of time.

How to motivate students to see the relevance of researching education resources for good public speaking speech topics.

Teens who play violent games do worse in school than teens who do not.

Botox injections make women look unnatural with an artificial facial expression.

Do not take illegal steroids in sports activities, they are dangerous!

The One Minute praising method is the ultimate answer on the How to Motivate Your Employees question.

Video games encourage teamwork and cooperation when played with others.

Football stadiums are modern equivalents of Ancient Roman amphitheatres.

Not found what you like? Try my other list:

Local veterinarians should make health care control visits for the animals in pet shops. Because sometimes you have no idea what you notice in such animal so-called welfare stores – not to mention the smell

Why an implanted microchip is the most reliable identification purpose system for the recovery of your companion animals. Put between one of the shoulder blades that are just beneath the surface.

Architects and urban planners should be more aware of the values of a rich wildlife population in urban areas – e.g. squirrels, skunks, raccoons.

Global environmental issues can only be solved by discussing an interdisciplinary and multicultural approach.

The planet’s ecosystem is the base of the human race.

The effects of wind turbines, or so-called wind farms, on the weather, bird population and local communities. And do not forget to explicate the effects on human health of the loud noise the sometime make. And the impact on the landscape views.

How to earn and implement an ISO 14001 certification on Environmental Management, and why it is important.

How climate change affects society; federal, state and cities.

What are the costs of an earthquake, a tsunami, a volcanic eruption or a hurricane hurricanes or a wild fire? Evacuation, rescueworkers, rebuilding, et cetera.

If the sea level rises by over 1 feet, what are the consequences? What about 2 feet? 3 perhaps? Those are variation public speaking persuasive speech topics. And: what if our temperature rises with 1 degree, 2, or even 3?

The quality of our water supplies is threatened by many pollutants, causing water-related diseases.

Why you, as a speechwriting student, need to learn about earth sciences in class, including biology, chemistry and physics.

Ocean acidification on marine organisms intensifies and there is a relation with the CO2 increase in our atmosphere.

Motivated Sequence Patterns

These patterns are often applied by famous speakers. If you follow the order precisely nothing can go wrong.

The Monroe’s Motivated Sequence Pattern

A very useful to elaborate on motivational speech topics. When professor Alan Monroe designed this sequence in the thirties of the previous century he uses elements of the psychology of persuasion.

Step #1 – Attention

Get the attention of your public. State the importance of your specific angle of approach. List the main benefits to arouse interest.

Step #2 – Need

State the need for change. Show why it should concern them. Relate the issue or problem to the values, attitudes, interests and needs of the listeners.

Step #3 – Satisfaction

Satisfy their needs. Provide the details and interesting facts. Show how your solution works.

Step #4 – Visualization

Visualize the benefits. That is the heart of the message. Illustrate them with examples, anecdotes, comparisons, statistics, definitions and visual aids. Show successful implementation in other organizations. Tell your public what’s in it for them.

Step #5 – Call to Action

Call to action. Show them what to do to implement your plan.

Comparative Advantages Pattern

This looks like the one above and is often used for business presentations. The big difference occurs in the satisfy and visualization steps. In those steps you have to compare and contrast two or more plans, solutions or alternatives.

Show your listeners which one is the best. E.g.: Compare and contrast two cellphones and tell which one is the first-class one for your job or personal life and why.

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The Goal

You have just one goal: to instigate your audience to act or to agree. Write down what you want them to do, and how you are going to persuade them that you are right. Phrase your goal in a declarative statement, in a way that will motivate.

There are two ways:

1. The first way is the use of the imperative mood in relation to activities, issues or problems at college, in your work environment, or in your community. Examples:

Become involved in …, Buy …, Change …, Choose …, Do …, Donate …, Establish …, Join …, Make …, Pay …, Quit …, Sell …, Sign …, Study …, Support …, Take …, Volunteer …, Vote …

2. Another way to create good verbal addresses is to relate these general themes below to personal, educational or professional activities, issues or problems:

Breakthroughs – Career Development – Challenge – Change – Coaching – Commitment – Communication – Competence – Competitiveness – Confidence – Decision Making – Discipline – Effective Meetings – Ensure Safety – Ergonomics – Focused Thinking – Future – Involvement – Inspiration – Integrity – Interpersonal Skills – Leadership – Negotiation Tactics – Personal Effectiveness – Personal Growth – Personal Improvement – Personal Productivity – Personal Wellness – Responsibility – Self Respect – Set Realistic Goals – Stress – Teambuilding – Teamwork – Trends – Values – Work Ethics

Call To Action Speech Topics

Call to action speech topics are equal to (specimen):

Sharing emotions,

Initiating a debate on a hot topic,

Promoting your book or other craftsman project,

Forcing a change in daily habits,

Motivating them to achieve something in life,

Persuading your listeners to vote for you in some kind of an election campaign.

For example:

Protest Against Nuclear Testing.

Sign up For My Newsletter.

Make Every Workday Feel Like a Lazy Sunday.

Remember The Oath You Took For Your Country.

Sponsor Our Center for Community Innovation.

Improve Your Concentration Skills With Mind and Mental Exercises.

Provide Good Conditions For Teambuilding and Cooperating.

Just Think Positive!

Always Affirm Your Business Deals in Writing.

Set at Least One Career Goal a Year.

Relax, and Your Presentation Will Be Better.

Enjoy Walking the Great Wall of China.

Release Your Life With Energy Psychology and Meridian Energy Therapies.

Do Not Hesitate, Make a Decision About Your Future.

Prioritize Your Daily Goals.

Volunteer in Thailand For Tsunami Reconstruction Jobs.

These are random Toastmasters International examples. Watch the so-called action words and verbs, I have written them in italic style. As you perhaps have noticed, the list of phrases and terms is open to your sole discretion …

Other action terms could be:

change, profit, produce, nominate, sale, master, save, vote, help, reward, reveal, map out, manage, organize, invent, modernize, et cetera.

You see, almost every active verb can be the base of an appealing motivational call to action speech topics. Be creative and find yourself a way in discovering other words.

[perkoform]

By Izaak E. Wolfe

PUPILS OF THE ALCHEMIST- Preface Authors Note: “Life is for those of us whom are already dead, and if you comprehend this notion, then you too must be stuck in the ‘ether’. In unison, many of your pseudo-peers may at once begin to nod their heads, attempting to hurry along whatever point it is that you’re trying to make, because using their own thoughts is usually too mentally taxing. Following an obligatory smile with a nod whilst sprouting gleaming pleasantries such as “oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean!” with not a thought in their skull but what they’re having for lunch. Autonomous white Rabbits full of hollow, all essentially doppelgangers: Clones cut from the same cookie-cutter cloth of which Lewis Carroll pulled the wool over Alice's eyes. The very same rodents that are oft caught ‘running late’ wasting precious seconds digging holes until they fall asleep in one, killing time until they drop. You will come to know them well. The kind of under prepared, over opinionated personalities that might read through every book in an entire library just to get to the end of every sentence, staring through ripe meaning and symbolic psychic puzzles, not to ponder, or provoke thought, and certainly not to explore the realms of scribes and oracles in a place that can never be defined: understanding words merely as distractions, the kind of mind that would buy a bar napkin if it were leather-bound just so they could say they've got it on their bookshelf. These are the dreamers. They rarely, if ever, awaken. I for one, have always been of the opinion that when free from the burden of earthly interruptions the human brain starts to unlock dream like visionary experiences, Deja Voo and insights far more significant in nature and depth than what can be found tossing and turning, blurred by the restrictions of ‘sleep’. " Charles Luna Foxx 2016 

 Chapter One

 “The Heart that told no tales..” My smirk falls flat to molten hell. Disturbed by signs of life, I gasped to earth. “Ughh…” The phone was ringing. You can bet I was ignoring it. My breath smelt like I had spent Valentine’s Day French kissing an ashtray. Finding my own feet stumbling like a rigid rag-doll off my favorite chair; a heavy head was snatched from swollen hands. Temples pounding, Teeth grinding: Last night is stuck on that damned black-box flight recorder… Here, renegade neuro-terrorist’s commit espionage against their own life source. Receptor sites planning to pull the plug on grey matter that is the only thing integrating them with awareness. They will stop at nothing to destroy any and all traces of the last 24 hours. Direct orders from suits in the cerebral cortex were to “swipe magnets on the audio tapes”. Perhaps in the grip of some advanced interrogation, these sadistic rhetorical sabotage methods employed by our hideous obligatory enemies are indeed working, using some of the most effective tools of self-destruction that our hedonistic Universe has to offer, such as Amphetamines and Tennessee Whisky. Memory pulls a blank, and a glance around the study leads me to a solitary conclusion; this hangover is only just beginning to show its putrid mug shot. The stiff neck and near total absence of writing on the pile of pages beneath my jaw seems to indicate that I passed out colder than a corpse in the Arctic. It would not take the likes of “Sherlock Holmes” to conclude that I was neck deep in the narcissistic floodwaters of Moonshine misery, with not a bridge left to burn in my hearts splintered drought. After countless hours awake at the writing desk, with a brain so sore and sorry it all but caved in to intoxicant fueled hibernation: The empty bottle of Jack adjacent to my puddle of drool confirming this hypothesis. I greet today with a smile. A smile so big and fake that hopefully it conceals my gnawing sense of spite for all existence, or at least my dental plan. When I see the light it never hesitates to scorch my prying eyes, so I still wonder why people stare at shiny things like headlights to a frozen deer. Head spinning. Reeking of liquor, don’t know up from left on a compass, so bed ways is right ways right now. In a sloth like manner, I half tiptoe as if my own shadows footsteps were going to stamp out any hope that may be hiding, still virgin to the stench of bitter fate, in the far off shadows of a distant peaceful galaxy. So I tear the blinds shut, eat some sleeping pills, and before I could even say “fuck off world." BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP Slamming my fist against the ‘snooze’ button, I hissed as if there was someone listening: “..YOU KNOW I AM AWAKE YOU SADISTIC TIME KEEPING BEATBOX! Ughh!!”. With my face buried into my pillow, I try and think of one reason why I should get back out of bed. Whiskey is certainly not one of them. If I didn’t have college, I swear to GOD I would have thrown that fucking alarm clock out the window. I must admit, I became extremely depressed and aimless after the death of my father, and even though it was up to me to become the life blood of the family butcher shop (pun intended), I decided to shut the place down. I can barely get to sleep at night, especially not to wake up at 4 30 every morning to chop up bits of flesh and bone, elbow deep in entrails before midday. I couldn’t do it, and after the Dean tuned from a clockwork intellectual to madder than a fuckin’ hatter overnight... I’ve only been attending classes where the new girl sits opposite me. The rest of my lectures I frequently skip to “study” in the dark corners of the universities extensively cluttered library. It is more than coincidence that I have taken up a few of the classes that this enigmatic temptress frequents. From day one, it was apparent that she has an obsessive thirst to master any and all of the subjects she chose, with the outcome or topic seemingly being of a lesser importance to her than that of the process itself. So it was Anatomy, Biology, Chemistry, Taxidermy, Psychology, Latin, Surrealist Art, even the optional extracurricular sessions such as Cryptography and Journalism, 5 days a week. I don’t know why I didn’t drop out and get a job in the town Abattoir, the pay is good, and I don’t have a weak stomach. But I’m glad that I don’t live in that meat hook reality. Not wanting to miss a second of her company, even though we were strangers, I had a cold shower, got dressed, and hurried to the University, with a terrible headache, but the promise of a new day was not yet lost. I was haphazardly piecing together a port-folio, and I look up and our eyes met, and quickly flicked back to our “work”. There it came, and oh my, this was the first time I had heard her voice, and at once I was drowning in Ambrosia honey from the swarming beehive of my mind. “Hello” The beautiful stranger was smiling at me. “Have you seen the golden scarab??” she inquired under her breath, looking almost as if she had asked me the time… “..Oh I.. I.. Uh…I beg your Pardon?” She repeated once more, barely above a whisper. “Have you seen the Golden Scarab?” her eyes locked firmly onto mine. Unsure what she was referring to, shaking my head, “Sorry.” She blurted “Oh never mind. I was making an in joke, ha, I thought you reminded me of someone.. I’m mistaken.. How terribly rude.. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Veruka.” “Miss Veruka Luxx, I can assure you, it’s a pleasure to be met. I’m Arthur Lilly.” I replied, but she was already lost in her workbook, writing fiercely. I could read paragraphs from the corner of my eye, from where I was sitting. The paragraphs were describing in full an artistic process, subconscious snapshots, perhaps an indulgent outburst praising the randomness embraced by the paper game, “consequences”. The “Exquisite Corpse” method was used by William Burroughs and many before him. I overheard her mumbling, something about synchronicity, and something in a language I failed to recognize, whilst preparing a short film required for an assessment. My contribution was just footage of life-prisoners from Alcatraz, back before the rock was broken and became yet another unkempt piece of tourist crap floating in the San Francisco Harbor, I thought it was intriguing, In between 1943 and 1945 surgeons experimented on the murderers of murderers, the rapists of rapists, Lobotomizing the prisoners and then put half of the test subjects in isolation with food and water and half in a cell with a wilting rose in a vase and no drinking water. The lobotomized inmates with food and water refused to eat or drink or sleep until they died, using all conscious energy to claw at the walls.…The other half, refused to watch the rose die, every time the thorns were bare and the petals fell, wilted, the inmates burst into a fit of grief, crying their eyes out until their tears found the cuttings…. and the rose returned to vibrant health, bringing a smile to their face, and that, right there, soppy bullshit aside, the prisoners with roses managed to see the flower through its cycle, like clockwork, when those petals returned, those inmates were found dead with a smile on their face. I liked the contrast, but spliced the footage poorly and overdubbed readings from the novel “The Diving Bell and The Butterfly.” Everyone in class was looking through the projection screen behind me with a thousand yard stare, and “Thank you Mr. Lilly. Now Mr. West, Your presentation is up next.” Mr. Peaslee boomed from his desk as I returned to my seat. My eyes were back on the strange Veruka as my new accomplice lent forwards and said softly, “Alcatraz Island has some incredible wildlife, but that rose is one of the rarest in the world….. One of.” I nodded, “There are some divine books on all kinds of sacred ornamental plants in the Vulshwaltz wildlife section, I have to return some after class and choose my reading for the week. Perhaps you would like to join?” I said, as charmingly as possible. She looked me right in the eye “Really?!” she said with a wicked grin. “I’ve not been too welcomed by the other students… I’ve been so lost while trying to get to know the Campus that the Library has thus far been untraceable! I need a new friend who can show me around actually..” Veruka laughed, I was transfixed by lust and just as I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could stumble over even one syllable, the bell rang out and class had been dismissed. “Oh, what!? You haven’t seen the Vulshwaltz Library at all yet!?” “No! I hear it’s like a literary maze though. I’d be delighted to get lost in the ‘History’ section with you anytime you like! If you’ve got no plans for lunch, you could even take me there right now, Mr. Arthur.” Her smile was intoxicating. I grabbed my school satchel, and we walked towards the door. “Well Miss. Luxx, only a fool could refuse such an honest request! Right this way my friend.” And with that, we walked down the corridor. Her pupils were gleaming behind her glasses, but for a second as they caught the light, In my mind, a golden scarabs reflection, scurried away. We stood still for a second as we exited the halls and I took great delight in Veruka’s excitement as it was her first time in this room, seeing hundreds and thousands of books, billions of pieces of peculiar information bursting at the seams. Dusty, leather-bound manuscripts, with instructions to decipher every language and symbol that is of use to mankind and even a few hundred pages of thus far indecipherable ancient tongues or perhaps the quotes of modern day secret societies, encrypted in plain sight. There are countless impressive Libraries in the World, But there’s only one of the “Vulshwaltz Vaults”. The lights hang down from the ceiling in glass flowers, downward like Belladonna Atropa flowers. I’m not sure if the “Deadly Lampshades” are there because of the irony, that old saying that everyone who works in a Library goes “mad as a Hatter”, or simply because the architects of our massive University had some, dare I say, questionable influences? “oh my goodness! Those Nightshade light fixtures are something out of Bella Lugosi’s wet dreams! Ahah!” Miss Luxx grinned in astonishment. “One almost wishes they were real, except for the fact that we would all be dead!” A cold, stern voice hissed back “They ARE real” the voice continued “and you ARE dead precious.” Of course, I knew this voice to be our very own, very proud, and equally VERY strange Librarian, Mrs. Nancy N. Escher LaTrisk. “I’m sorry?” Veruka said slowly. “The Flowers are real. They’re as real as any other lampshades, don’t you know?” Explained Mrs. LaTrisk, taking a sip of her tea “and you must be dead my dear! The last of Mr. Peaslees’s students never got to see graduation because they were all bored to death!” she said, turning the hourglass on the desk in front of her upside-down. “Mr. Arthur Lilly! I was under the impression your mother taught you manners!” Mrs LaTrisk was smiling at me. “OH! Of course! This is my new classmate and I’d have to say I’d take her as a friend over most of the chaps, Miss Veruka Luxx! I see you’ve spotted our humble Librarian, Mrs. LaTrisk!-“ “My name is Nancy Neri Escher LaTrisk, The boys call me Mrs. LaTrisk, But you can call me Nancy darlin’, Seeing as I’ll be calling you by your first” There was an awkward silence, at which point Mrs. LaTrisk drank some tea and exclaimed “anyway, Busy busy, always work to be done..” and she turned her attention to a copy of ‘Hidden Faces’. “oh yes, Mr. Lilly, your order arrived yesterday. It’s on my desk next to the typewriter” A brown paper satchel contained my new copy of ‘The Strange case of Dr. Jeckll and Mr. Hyde’. “Magnificent! Gracious Mrs. LaTrisk” “Righto, Well.. my oh my.. strange woman. Arthur, Is there anywhere we could sit and talk in private?” Miss Luxx blinked rapidly as a cool breeze swept through the room. As we walked deeper and deeper into the cacophonous life sized maze that Mrs. LaTrisk refers to as the “Bermuda of Books”, we found ourselves indeed lost in the history section. Veruka was pointing out a small window in the wall; she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a small gold telescope, and beckoned me to have a look, directing my gaze to a plume of smoke funnelling out of a chimney in the most beautiful house on mount Titan. “Exquisite telescope Miss. Luxx, Where did you get it?” I said, intrigued. “Oh this is one of the smaller ones; I have a collection of telescopes in my study.” She looked through the eyepiece “I like to keep the fireplace on while I’m at Vulshwaltz so when I get back all tired it feels like home.” “That’s where you live?” my jaw dropped. “You live in a mansion?” “My grandfather’s in hospital so I’m taking care of the property. You should come and have a few drinks with me tonight. Otherwise it’s just me, the animals, and a big empty house...”

Chapter two 

-Perpetual Vermin in the Illusion of Time and Space- “Le cadavre exquis boira le vin nouveau.“ I fumbled for notepad, attempting to look as if I were paying attention. The lecture was nearly over, and the bell would allow our dismissal from class no doubt very soon. I sat watching the clock hands go sloooowwwwllllyyy around from the corner of my vision, scribbling on my page a crescent moon, and the more I scribbled, it seemed the lecture were as if I was listening to it from a great distance. The blood drained out of my head, the ceiling pushed towards the sky, along with a room full my peers rendered brain-dead while the tables where they sat began to stretch and contort like a perpetually elongating hallway. A half a minute could last two million years.. Perish the thought. Sometimes I wonder just what exactly Salvador Dali mind had the persistence to remember behind his wild eyes as they observed a slice of camembert cheese melting in the sun. I glance quizzically at the empty chair to my right, “where in the hell is she?” I wondered. Her absence made me oddly uncomfortable. The divine and peculiar Veruka Luxx been my best friend for more than year now, but she remains as much of an enigma as when I first came to know her. Veruka and I, one could rightfully assume, shared a peculiar fascination in what would be most certainly considered taboo by the majority of our society. Veruka has a profound affection for Taxidermy, stuffed and preserved animal corpses, not to mention her absurd obsession for the languages and customs of ancient and lost civilisations. Our interest in all living creatures was naturally mirrored by our fascination for the “process of death”, the afterlife, the before life, and the possibility to reanimate the corpses of the deceased shortly after dying, using a customised injectable solution. We had killed, maimed and also reanimated the bodies of several rabbits, stray cats, rats, and guinea pigs, some even with promising results if the subjects managed to survive the process of animation for more than a few minutes. We have been a tad over absorbed in our little projects recently, and the nature of these experiments warranted my cause for concern. Luxx and I spent nearly all of our spare time engaged in “Staring at the bottom of the fountain of youth”… Yes, I suppose that’s one way to phrase it. Among other things her devotion to the subject of reanimating a multitude of deceased creatures knew no bounds, which fuelled my fascination and desires to assist her secret studies and to cover our trails all the more, from anyone whom might happen to have otherwise stumbled across our secret laboratory. Both Veruka and I were honorary students at the Vulshwaltz University in the town of Atlas, a rather expensive college, with infinite halls, chandeliers, libraries, top of the line science equipment (which we had slowly constructed our laboratory from, one beaker at a time, considering we were so trusted by Dean Allen Halsley himself, that he authorized us to stay behind to clean, autoclave and pack away every single piece of glassware unattended after classes, and the school had so many resources they didn’t appear to even ponder all the bits and pieces of “written off” laboratory hardware that the faculties staff would immediately replace.) Between the windowpanes were the endless paintings spaced perfectly evenly across the tall walls of the corridors, depicting everything from the Salem witch trials, The sun god Ra making his rounds in the minds of Egyptian painters and sculptors, and more typical of a white collar institution, images of decadent Kings and Queens from centuries otherwise mostly forgotten (all of them remarkably pale or blood red in the face, It often bemuses Luxx and myself to liken King Henry VIII’s face to that of a plump tomato ripe to burst. God awful inbred monarchy.) I look up from my scribbling, and she’s standing right next to me snickering at my absent mindedness, I wonder how long she had been standing there? The classroom is completely empty, and the clock tells me that the bell rang out about 15 minutes ago.. “Ground Control to Major Tom!?” She said with a smirk. “It’s time to go” “Where on earth have you been!” I croaked, flustered. “You scared the shit out of me, I thought something must’ve gone wrong” “Well” Luxx rolled her eyes, for a moment I could see my pupils reflecting back at me in hers, and a shiver went up my spine. “I’ve finally tracked down a recently deceased Human subject on which we can test my new formula.. Grab your things.” Her smile was both unsettling and comforting. We cleaned the science room, we cleaned the condenser, separatory funnels, catalyst reaction vessels, test tubes and various beakers, and using the key that the Dean entrusted us with, we opened the Haz-Chem safe, removed a couple of necessary precursors and once the classroom was packed up and tidy, Miss Luxx steered my attention to her unusually playful state of mind. We soaked in the evening as we began heading home bound, the place I had come to know as home, our humble abode, a sprawling property which Luxx was taking care of for her grandfather while he was in hospital. From the dust to the trees which touched the clouds, to the house that we had been using to conceal our gruesome experiments on deceased creatures which we would catch and put to death before attempted reanimation of their cadavers, sometimes yielding no result, sometimes a few unnatural flinches and as with most of our more “fortunate” incidents the creatures would turn rabid and rip their own bodies to pieces, after attacking anything in sight… But we pushed on, Luxx insisted that it was a simple matter of getting the right blend of synthetic compounds into the next formula, and something told me she was right. We left Vulshwaltz by foot, and with every step, the sun would sink deeper into the horizon, until at last we scaled the base of the mountain. It wasn’t long at all before I could see 54 rue du Chateau. The finest piece of architectural indulgence on the whole of the mountain, I bet her grandfather must’ve been proud, having built it by hand, brick by brick, brushstroke by brushstroke. Obviously, it was both mine and Veruka’s favorite place in all of Atlas, except for the Cemetery and the Library at Vulshwaltz. Overcome by dizziness, I was quick to catch my breath but for a peculiar moment, I almost thought these feelings of Deja Voo were rising to my attention as a hint that maybe this, right now, could all be just a dream. Then I remembered that even nightmares are more inviting than what lays in wait. As Miss Luxx explained what would be our plans for the evening, I unpacked our bags and polished a new glass beaker I had stolen for the lab. We headed upstairs for the attic, and my dear friend grabbed a spoon from the kitchen. Like ruby wine in flickers of the moonlight, I watched her lips tremble as she spoke. She weighed out precisely a quarter gram (250 milligrams to be exact) of our new silky powder and mixed it up. Luxx jabbed the needle in my arm and pulled back red, as I volunteered to Ginny pig our new batch of Amphetamine Salts. Suddenly I could feel a lightning storm pounding through my temples, as all of the blood rushed to my head, Luxx gave me a sickly smile, there was no denying we were both high as all fuck and I could not follow most of what she was saying because she was talking so fast and her eyes were utterly intoxicating. She stopped speaking mid-sentence, seemingly out of nowhere grabbing me by the neck and before I could blink she had pushed me up into the corner of the Attic, and with an incredible lust, our lips locked, and tongues entwined. My heart must have skipped a seismic thud, for this is the first time we stepped beyond the boundary of friends, and essentially the first time I had seen Luxx’s passion flare up for anything that still had a heartbeat. “Well, that certainly got your attention. Hah!” She smiled. I was breathless. “Work first, fun later, Hmm?” She looked me up and down. With that, she turned on her heels and took me to the false wall we had fitted in-between the cluttered, dusty Attic, and the hidden door to our surgical laboratory. She opened it and flicked the lights, revealing a lifeless figure stretched out on a long white table. Luxx, I could tell, was getting terribly nervous about something. The recently deceased human subject that Veruka had acquired was a frail old woman, whose face was extremely pale and the shade of blue that her lips had turned indicated that she had been dead since at least this morning. “Well well well! This is charming Luxx! Just fucking charming!” I mocked. The smell of necrotizing flesh was already near unbearable. “And what the fuck happened to her I wonder??” Luxx cleared her throat, “Well, hmm. It has been a long day indeed. Her family live not a great distance from here, I’ve known her son Edward for many years. As I was picking through my books before our late afternoon science class, studying the lineage of Queen Nefertiti when all of a sudden there were tremors on my doorstep accompanied by the deranged howling of what I presumed to be a badly injured German Shepherd. I rushed outside to find the howling was coming from an old woman writhing gruesomely in the mud on my driveway.” Shaking her head, Miss Luxx beckoned for one of my cigarettes. “I recognized the unfortunate Witch as Edwards mother, phoned his uncle immediately to alert him of the situation and ask if I could be of any medical help, as she was by now curled up twitching on my porch, grasping for dear life. He told me that she has been slowly going mad for years and by his voice… Well I could tell it had been driving him to drink, because he was slurring his concerns and at the same time attempting to hit on me. So as the family could not contact a competent doctor because of the particularly fatal strain of Flu that’s becoming somewhat of an epidemic in town recently, and screaming and delusional as she was when she arrived, the old woman appeared to assume an almost catatonic state of consciousness all in a matter of minutes, at the same time I could hear snoring on the other end of the receiver so I furiously hung up and carried her inside to my guest room, soon she was fast asleep after seemingly having made a miraculous recovery from her primitive psychotic episode.” With the upbeat melancholic chirp of a pessimist, I butted in “….And then?????” with an eyebrow raised above a bloodthirsty smirk, almost puzzled by my own sincerest solemn sarcasms, Luxx sighed “Her son Edward was suddenly knocking at the window, he said nothing except that he would stay by her side no matter what… Knowing I could trust Edward not to snoop around the house, I was beginning to ready myself for the back to Vulshwaltz, because I just needed your comforting presence after the intensely unexpected chain of events, by now I knew I was too late for class, but that was the lowest of my priorities. The incident seemed to reach an almost level of calm, but at that exact moment, the phone rang just as I was leaving home…. all I could hear was static noise and maniacal laughing in the earpiece….. Shrugging it off, I hung up just as Edward eerily called to me from the guest room. He emerged looking as though he had already long since mourned for his dear mother’s sanity, almost with a sigh of relief he said softly that she had just then passed in her sleep. I hid my smile behind gritted teeth… Mentioning that his uncle has already drunk away his inheritance, Edward also happened to mention, to my utter delight, that her final will declared that after death, her corpse was to be donated for the purposes of science, and because Edward has been a close neighbor for years, it goes without saying that he had already become well aware of my overachieving at University, The backlog of Anatomical Knowledge that propelled my status from a nerdy exchange student to an ‘Honorary’ Teachers Pet, not even mentioning the Deans trust in my ‘responsibilities’, …anyway, you can guess that it wasn’t very long at all before I had convinced Edward to go home to try and get some rest. He said his farewells under the impression that I had already arranged a hearse to Vulshwaltz’s medical research facility…. But after he left, I just hauled the lifeless bitch upstairs and rushed into town to find you so that we may finally take our experiments to the next frontier of reanimation…. To bring about the strange state of existence known as “Life” back to a completely rigid, non-responsive, breathless human cadaver…… “ The lovely Veruka Luxx burst out into hysterical laughter, unable to wipe the smirk off her divine face. Slightly disturbed, and still unable to stop thinking about Luxx’s soft and tender lips, all the while trying desperately to ignore the smell of the dead woman whom we were about to attempt to bring back from the spirit realm, to once again, in some post-mortal fashion, walk among the Taxpaying, Booze-Addled piles of flesh and bone, most commonly recognized as the “Living”. Apart from not being much good for conversation, the main difference between that of the “deceased persons” and of their more animated, opinionated, compulsively breeding counterparts, the “Living persons”, is simple. One has completed their cycle and has joined the “Land of the Dead” for the rest of eternity, while the other is still absorbed in the comparatively temporary distractions of day to day humdrum human emotions; From Serenity to Fear, From Kinship to Solitude. How fucking poetic. I’m to sober for this. Too much is never enough… My thoughts were racing. The air seemed to be getting thicker… “Hmm… The body’s whereabouts shouldn’t arouse any suspicion as long as no-one else in Atlas knows about her death, and provided her family doesn’t speak to anyone regarding her disposal requests” I said hastily “which I imagine they would not have any need to mention as a casual conversation topic to anyone of importance…. then we’re in the clear… Quick thinking by the way, my darling.. Any fresher and you could skin the fat off her and sell it down the butchers as offal.” I scoffed. Smiling dryly in acknowledgement, her eyes met mine and then looked quickly down at the tip of a .3 ml syringe that she had filled to the brim with a concentrated solution of her new “embalming concentrate” as we had deemed them), and I began preparing a large vein on the side of the woman’s neck for injection, as the solution had to enter the blood stream as CLOSE to the brain as possible. Luxx impatiently yet precisely performed the injection while I checked the cadaver for any vital signs of life. We waited for an hour, and Luxx mixed and injected more solutions into the subjects’ neck relentlessly. Just as we were preparing to admit failure, call it a night, and throw her corpse into the incinerator, without a seconds notice the old woman’s eyes darted open WIDE, and she let out the most ear-drum piercing blood curdling screams, wailing and screeching imaginable, far too unearthly for any human to possibly conjure the sound in their most depraved nightmares, let alone the breathless lungs of the dearly departed. Suddenly the undead subject stood up, froze stiff again, and fell on the floor with several liters of blood rapidly gushing out of her eyes, nose, mouth and ears. I gasped, unable to muster a word, and was frozen with fear. Luxx just shook her head, rolled her eyes and groaned with failure, she snapped. “Fuck.. Fuck.. Fuck… I think perhaps next time we should wait, at least another hour, before re administering the formula. I’ll put the incinerator on so we can dispose of her remains quickly.” Luxx leaned toward me and kissed me on the cheek. I stood, bewildered, horrified, and shivering. “Oh.. What a waste” I blurted, Naturally questioning my beautiful associates mental stability, but as my faith in her was still unshaken by the gruesome occurrence, I began to question my own sanity… As Veruka turned up the furnace to its highest setting, near 2000 degrees Fahrenheit, she hummed along to an unknown yet strangely familiar tune, and the impromptu cremation of our elderly lab-rat was complete…… not much is left of that wrecked atrocity save a red hot pile of ashes. Attempting to appear un-phased by the evening’s festivities, I mopped up ankle deep pools of fresh human blood from our laboratory floor, as thoughts of what consequences lay in wait for us if we were ever to be caught grew steadily more grim and unavoidable, all the while, Luxx’s near total and complete disregard for such consequences proceeded to add entire Galaxies of increasing volatility to the already crumbled fault-lines of rationality and common sense… I was trapped aboard a sinking ship of her obsessions, pulling me into an Ocean of demise that was overflowing with my own poisoned curiosity’s, and it would be Veruka herself, who unwittingly sealed my fate with a kiss…. Run, Rabbit, Run… Because when you’re walking such a very fine tightrope of morality, whilst attempting to survive on a steady diet of endless hedonism, there is simply no time to slow down.. On that note, Veruka and I sat by the fireplace, drinking tea into the morning. Something I can’t shake about the look in the old bats eyes, embedded into my memory, will forever gnaw at me. I’ve seen that soul sucking glare before. For a second I was lost in the void of her pupils, the cry of the storm, and as I looked out from the old woman’s vacant stare, I actually was looking up at myself the moment blood poured from her every orifice. I was shocked, trembling, sweating, and whiter than a sheet. Looked as if I’d seen a ghost, a fucking Kodak moment... With every second, it seemed further in the past, until all I saw was my drug-devouring Morticia Addams, My Venomous Vixen…. Veruka was snuggling up next to me on the rug in front of her fireplace, and I feel her jab another shot of speed into my arm…. No warning…!?!??!!!!!! ….my vision trembles wildly…. Before I could even think, she is laughing and taking off her dress. Always an ice-cold intellectual machine; a vixen, brunette, green eyes and spectacles…. Even with a frozen heart like hers, I’d still be willing to bet my life that she could keep me warm in Hell…..

[tashkandi]

Summer (Formation) Routines

Some years ago, we established a practice of “summer routines” with the children.

It started with the confluence of two small events: my realizing the children needed to do some structured work to retain a bit of their learning during the summer so they were not on their heels when the school year started up again, and the children expressing their desire to fill the days, weeks, and months of summer with all kinds of screen time. So we brokered a deal exchanging summer workbook pages for minutes of screen time.

Over the years as the children get older and can handle more responsibility, this brokering has evolved and grown. At the beginning of summer — pretty much the day after school ends — we sit down and talk through the parameters of the “summer routine.” We share our expectations for their activity and use of time including workbook pages, outside time, music practice, and physical activity. They listen and then propose what they think their screen usage should look like. They are getting increasingly savvy at this and often there are negotiations involved until we all arrive at a mutual agreement.

This summer’s version of the plan requires the younger children to:

get themselves up at a reasonable hour, eat breakfast, get cleaned up (dress, brush teeth, comb hair) and make their beds.

do one workbook page, one set of school assigned summer math, and read.

practice their respective musical instrument for at least 15 minutes.

play outside for at least an hour.

participate in 30 minutes of home-based “summer sports camp” (each week Josh or I lead them through games and drills in a different sport like soccer, basketball, volleyball or baseball).

This summer’s version of the plan requires our high schooler to:

get himself up at a reasonable hour (significantly later than the young ones, it turns out), eat breakfast, shower and dress, and make his bed.

do a chapter in his SAT prep book and some of his school assigned summer reading.

practice with his cross country team or do a workout of his own at home.

find a part-time job and work outside the house.

Once they have completed each of the tasks in their routine, they earn one hour of personal screen time for the day which can be applied to the computer, iPad, or Wii.

Joshua and I feel it is our job as parents to help our children understand the many diverse elements that go into a good balanced life: developing their minds, their bodies, their creativity, and their connectedness to nature. They might not necessarily choose these things on their own, being more easily wooed by the hyper stimulation of screens,so it is our responsibility to consistently expose our children to them.

The reality is the children move through their work surprisingly quickly in order to have access to their screen time as early as possible in the day. But they recognize the value in what we are asking of them. They choose what do to and when to do it. They get to experience the weight of delaying, or not following through on their responsibilities for themselves.

When they exhaust their activities and screen time by afternoon, they are sometimes bored with seemingly nothing to do. And that’s not a crime. It’s actually important for them to have time to ponder, to wonder what to do, to daydream. It leads them to pick up something to entertain themselves, to make a choice about what to engage.

And really that is the whole point of the process – informing their choices, stimulating their options, and growing their agency. Agency is really just another way of saying personal freedom. But it is a particularly Catholic flavor of freedom, one that points us to a deeper, fuller humanity.

from For Your Marriage http://ift.tt/2sNuYhg http://ift.tt/1NctfYb