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lollytea · 4 years ago

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Fearless (part 1/3)

(Ty/Louie fairytale au fic. i am simply a bitch writing about my au and my oc so it is all very catered to me personally and im aware not a lot of ppl will read it. but if you DO read it, i love u so much. i guess tw for blood/serious injuries relating to teen characters. nothing too graphic but be warned. Also if you’re curious, info on the au here, here and here.)

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[OCTOBER 22ND, 6:19PM] The sky was bleeding pink and orange and Louie tried to focus on it. Didn't take much brainpower to appreciate a sunset. He clung to the sight with desperation, muttering the simplest thoughts under his breath like a mantra.

It was pretty. He liked sunsets. He liked pink. He liked orange. The distraction wasn't working. The unpleasantness that was already writhing in his stomach churned. His finger was on his temple, idly tracing delicate circles against the tightly wrapped bandage. His head hurt. The point where his shoulder met his upper arm was also dressed. The stitching still had to heal up. That hurt too. Louie was pretty stupid. Which was not something he usually thought. But it was a real kick in the confidence when someone sharp-witted did something stupid. And it was a real kick in the heart when someone who didn't wanna hurt anybody ended up hurting somebody. This was stupid. He had already tried reading as a means of distraction. Too hard. Too many words. Way too much of a strain on his mild concussion. This was so, so stupid. Sitting by his windowsill, he hoped this dumb bandage would be gone soon. His forehead felt sticky and damp with sweat. He was stupid. He wished Webby were here. If she were, she'd be in the courtyard below his window sparring with Dewey. At least then, Louie could watch and keep his mind occupied. No. No, that wasn't right. If Webby were here, she would've attached herself to Louie by now, hugging him tight until his injury healed. If it had been any other incident, Louie would let her, crumbling into her arms and whimpering about the pain as his amazing, magical sister made it all ebb away. But this wasn't any other incident. If Webby were here, he wouldn't be able to accept her hugs. The very idea rubbed him the wrong way. If anyone was entitled to healing hugs, it wasn't Louie, it was--.... His face twisted up. Webby wasn't here. She was off on some quest with Lena. Probably wouldn't be back for days. So there was no point in dwelling over hypotheticals. Louie would heal on his own. They were both gonna have to heal on their own. The sunset was fading.

It was pretty. Pink... Orange.... He couldn't do this.

Why was he doing this?! Louie always knew himself to be a coward but this was to a pathetic extent. Depraved even. He felt sick.

He couldn't. He just couldn't. Every additional second he spent hiding in his room was weighing him down. It was suffocating. But he couldn't leave. He was too scared.

Freezing up just like always. Just stop being so fucking scared! He would have to confront what he did eventually. There was no way around it. So, why couldn't he just go now? Louie had far worse things in his life to be dreading. Far worse. A ticking clock of trepidation was seated deep inside him. A predestined future he couldn't rewrite which, on all accounts, should render him paralyzed. But he wasn't. This was the sort of thing to demolish him. Apparently. Stupid. This shouldn't be overdriving his other senses. This shouldn't be flooding his mind. He shouldn't be drowning right now. This shouldn't have his hands shaking. This shouldn't have him pacing the length of his room. This shouldn't be stealing the oxygen from his lungs. His brain was pounding against his skull, protesting his rapid back-and-forth movement. He was dizzy. He shouldn't be crying. Fuck it! He was always crying, who cares about that?! Just stop panicking, just stop crying, just stop being so selfish for once and just own up. Louie's back crashed against his door, gasping for breath. Stars were blotting his vision and he couldn't breathe and it was the end of the world. Okay. Okay. He was spiraling again. That was all it was, it would be okay. It would be okay. The prince's bed chambers, alive with the choking sound of contained distress, subsided to complete silence for just a moment. Inhale. Exhale. And then all to be heard was a small, crackling voice straining to sing himself a quiet little lullaby. ___________ [OCTOBER 22ND, 10:07AM] "Your highness, don't be an idiot. You can't just---Hey! Wait up!" "H'oh boy..." Louie's eyes flicked to the high heavens. Right now he felt like he was tasked with personally escorting this goddamn boy across this goddamn forest by the goddamn ankles. He whirled around impatiently, crossing his arms with a flourish. "Pick up the pace, Tiberius. We don't have all day." "Can you maybe not be a huge pain for like... I dunno, five minutes?" Snapped Ty, his dearly devoted retainer and most notorious pain-in-the-tail. "Can you maybe loosen up? Y'know it's a real mood killer when there's a paranoid guy on my case all the time, insisting that the whole world is out to get me. Being constantly reminded of my fragile mortality? Woo, talk about fun times." Scowling, Ty stumbled his way over a protruding tree root. "You've got a bad habit of attracting danger, you know that, right? I'm pretty sure it's a Duck thing." The remark slapped the annoyed expression right off Louie's face. Ty quirked an eyebrow. "What's that look for?" Before he could further analyse, Louie sharply turned on his heel and strode on. "It's a Duck thing." He said, keeping his tone even. Both of them knew it was a Duck thing. Ty just didn't know the half of it. "Your highness," He heard Ty gripe. "You know this is a bad idea. A prince shouldn't be out in the open like this without proper protection. And I'm unprepared right now. I can't--" If Ty weren't yakking so much, Louie wouldn't know if he was still there. He wasn't wearing his armor for once so the familiar clank and clatter of metal was nonexistent. "You got your sword, right? You can do a lot of damage with that thing." "Yeah but no juice. And I need juice. See, 'cause what if we get in a tight spot and you--?" "What do you think is gonna happen, Ty?! For the love of all that is gold, It's just a party." "It's never just anything." He grumbled. Ty jogged ahead a little, matching his pace to Louie's. His footsteps alongside him were purposefully heavy So, he was stomping now. Real mature. Louie rolled his eyes. He was fully aware Ty was pissed, he didn't have to go above and beyond to make his anger known. "You really think I'm an idiot who doesn't take safety precautions? I'll have you know keeping Prince Louie alive isn't just your problem. Prince Louie is pretty serious about that too." He gestured to himself. "If you haven't noticed, I'm incognito today. I've got no crown, no mantle, no status whatsoever. And look at these ugly peasant threads," Louie pointed out, tugging at the hem of his dull green tunic. "It's actually kinda depressing how drab I look. I'm never gonna do this again actually. But! See how committed I am right now? Who's gonna recognize me? As we're all aware, I'm pretty well known for my pizzazz." "Just 'cause you stop being a prince doesn't mean danger stops existing." "No but it makes you way less of a target. Now, are you really gonna spend your whole day off bitching at me?"

The glare Ty shot him was petulant at best. "Well, I didn't wanna. But I got dragged along on this little adventure so guess I gotta." Louie pursed his beak, irritated. He did not drag Ty along anywhere.

"Come to think of it, I don't remember saying you had to follow me." Well, that came out as harsher than intended. Ty didn't seem hurt. At least, there was no sign that he was. No expression cracked his stone mask. "I've got a duty." Louie scoffed. Ty and his stupid duty. It was really starting to wear on his nerves. But not today, absolutely not today. On this fine, glorious day, Louie was intent on having fun. He would show up at this little forest shindig and he would drink and dance and schmooze and whatever else any carefree person at a party would do. He would forget about everything that was eating at him. He wasn't gonna let it consume him, he wasn't. He was gonna live. While he still could. His sixteenth birthday loomed closer. Six months left. "Sorry." Said Ty, unprompted. The shadows festering in Louie's head cleared out as he snapped back to the present. Ty had his eyes firmly downcast, a noticeable slump to his posture. "It's not like I wanna be running around killing the fun all the time. I really don't. But I gotta." Louie said nothing. His eyebrows rose in quiet astonishment as he studied Ty's side profile. He remembered when Ty first came into his life. Twelve years old, brandishing a sword too big for his body and grinning lopsidedly in an unmistakably trouble seeking sorta way. A real firecracker of a boy, loud and bright. Hungry for adventure and excited to throw himself head first into the action. He remembered one of Ty's earliest and most confident statements. When he lowered himself to bow to Louie in his uncle's throne room and declared that the prince would never fear for his life again. Because Ty would protect him and Ty was fearless. Louie believed him. Make no mistake, Ty had plenty of bite back then too. He had disliked Louie and the feeling had been mutual. But he never doubted that Ty had spoken the truth with his entire heart. Ty was fearless. When Louie was with Ty, he was safe. He believed that and he always had. Despite how they clicked as well as a dagger and a keyhole. Despite Ty being annoying. So annoying. He was still annoying. But it was different now. Louie couldn't pinpoint when that permanent glowing smile of his had dwindled and a thin frown had become Ty's default expression. His sword, something he always used to proudly haul around over his shoulder, now unceremoniously sheathed against his belt. Although Louie had noticed that his right hand never strayed too far from the hilt. Protecting royalty with your entire being was an all-consuming duty and it seemed, at some point, the reality of such an allegiance had slapped Ty across the face. He had this distinct way of holding himself now. Always stood straight and rigid, coiled up with agitation. He was prepared to fight at a moment's notice but it was clear the thrill of doing so had been long since drained out of him. He still smiled. He still laughed. But only sometimes. Ty was annoying because he was paranoid. Because he was snarky. Because he was too stiff, too protective. And man, what Louie wouldn't give to have Ty's former brand of annoying back. At least never made him feel sorry for the guy. "Can I ask you a favor?" Louie finally spoke, pushing back a drooping tree branch so they could walk below it "You can try." Ty shrugged, his gaze still fixed ahead. "What if we just turn off this whole 'Prince and Retainer' thing today. Whadd'ya think?" He turned to him blankly, complete with a slight tilt of the head that made Louie a tiny bit weak. "Wha....?" Ty was simply not computing. He looked as though Louie was throwing out algebra equations and he was supposed to solve them right on the spot. And he was not a math guy by any means. The cute clueless expression was making it a little hard to focus. Louie swallowed. "Listen." He began, his thumb dragging itself across his sweaty palm as he struggled with how to phrase this. Louie had a way with words, always had. But he had a tendency to trip over his own tongue when Ty was involved. Especially when Ty was staring at him with his soft cande-light eyes and doing that stupid adorable head tilting thing and-- "You need a break." Louie blurted out. "You're stressed like constantly and it's getting kinda insufferable and I think your Dad would sick a dragon on me if his barely fifteen year old son suddenly kicked it 'cause of a paranoia overload so I think you should just forget about being my big strong hero for today and come hang out with me at this stupid peasant party and we can just be two regular kids instead of a royal and his bodyguard do you think you could give me that Tiberius?" It was only in the following beat of silence that Louie realized how fast he spat that all out. He struggled to catch his breath. One second. Ty blinked. Two seconds. A flicker of vacant eyes and then a rush of realization. And then disbelief. And then-- Three seconds. His brow scrunched together and a snarl crinkled his muzzle. His eyes flared. Oh, he was mad.... "Are you crazy?!" Ty shouted. He was beside himself with a malfunctioning mix of fury and incredulity that had him stammering his words. "You-You can't just--.....D-do you even-- you don't...do you realize how disrespectful that is? For you to say it? For-For me to do it?! I was given this duty by the King! The fucking King! To just suddenly "turn it off" would be--....I can't--!" Maybe "mad" was an understatement. "Ty--" Louie tried. He was cutting across Louie, treading back and forth on their forest path,. Not going further, not going back. Just walking to nowhere for the sake of being too scandalized to possibly stand still. Louie was attempting to get Ty's attention by grabbing his tunic but he kept shaking him off. "I'd be a disgrace! An embarrassment! I'm trusted by the royal family to keep--...to keep you safe! I-I can't just walk around with my liege like I'm on vacation and not be on guard! You don't even get it, you--" "Ty!" Louie said loudly."You wanna maybe listen for a sec?!" Frankly, he was surprised Ty halted his tirade. His eyes were blown wide, stunned and Louie wasn't quite sure why until he followed Ty's look, snapping down. Seems in his effort to get a hold of the guy, he had instinctively reached out and snatched Ty's wrist. They stood frozen for a moment, each set of eyes boring into the touch that tied them together. Louie's fingers began to uncurl. Then he decided no. His grip on Ty tightened with a purposeful squeeze. Ty met his gaze, looking....panicked? Confused? Didn't matter. He could besottedly dissect his unreadable facial expressions later. Louie inhaled, deciding to shoulder his dignity for just a second. No safety rails of snark this time. Ty might make fun of him for being sincere later but this was important. "Don't you miss being a kid with nothing to worry about?" Louie implored. "Because if we're being real, I don't think we're ever gonna get to live like that again." Ty muttered something to himself, shaking his head a little. "But listen," Louie continued, taking a step into Ty's personal bubble. Ty took an automatic step back. But since he was still holding his hand, Louie was led a step forward. It was difficult to tell with the pink fur but he could've sworn Ty reddened. "Look I know it's weird for me to be asking but....can't we just take a risk today? It's just a party in the woods. Literally the least likely place to find any danger in the whole kingdom." "We shouldn't--" "Ty, please." Honestly, Louie was a little surprised at himself. He hadn't even planned for Ty to accompany him anyway. But in the heat of the moment, everything had shifted upside-down. Turns out there was something inside him willing to beg. Something that wanted more than anything, for Ty come along. He just wanted a simple memory of just killing time with Ty. Separated from the castle and everything that reminded him of his fate. He would like to smile without a hint of dread for once this year. So, he said just that. "I'm not just trying to make you come along 'cause I'm stuck with you. That's not it." He swallowed. "You're--....you're cool. You're fun. I wanna have you around. You know, when you're not so worked up and you're just being yourself, I like hanging out with you." He tugged Ty's hand a little. Further from his sword and closer to Louie. "I want you to come with me. And I want you to try having fun too." He may as well just tell the idiot he thought about him every time he saw a sunset. The hand he was grasping flexed its fingers. Ty abruptly broke eye contact and glanced to the side, his tongue poking out to pierce the tip of his jagged tooth. His indecisive face. "I just--.....I dunno...." He muttered. "If something happened to you--" "Nothing's gonna happen to me." Said Louie immediately. "I've got a good feeling about this. And c'mon Ty, that coming from a coward?" "You're not a coward." He said, barely a whisper. He was now staring at the ground. "I promise." "Huh?" Louie smiled tightly as Ty looked to him questionably. "I promise nothing is gonna happen. I'm gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Now, can you do me this favor and maybe, I dunno, trust me?" The look Ty gave him was a little sad, but it was soft. And then with only a tiny twitch, it shifted into something else entirely. It was trust. Blind trust. Maybe stupid trust. A minuscule pang of guilt jabbed at Louie. Of course he wanted Ty to trust him. He needed him to if there was any hope of achieving his goal here. But objectively, he really shouldn't. Louie was hiding way too much from him. It wasn't fair. Then Ty broke the world, shattered orbit and played around with reality itself by cracking a smile and Louie forgot every coherent thought he ever possessed. He would never put on record just how long he spent pre-preparing jokes, gunning to get the corner of Ty's lips to flick upwards. Made him seem kinda desperate. Which he was not. Ty had that oh, so stereotypical "cute boy" smile. It was crooked, cocky, it was utterly obnoxious. Louie hated it. And worst of all, it was like a little spell to kick Louie's heart into high speed. Sometimes it dazed and confused him like a blinding light flash. But other times, it was warm and if he stared long enough, he'd fall asleep. Louie loved Ty's smile. Every time he tried to convince himself he didn't, he ended up dwelling on it too much and the way his mouth would quirk up would play in his mind on a maddening loop and then it would be too much to handle and the truth that he loved it would always overpower him. So, whenever that happened (like right this second.) he gave up and admitted it. To himself, anyway. He loved Ty's smile. He loved Ty. ......Wait. That last part was new, hold up. Rewind. But he didn't get the chance because Ty was talking now. Still a little dazzled, Louie didn't catch what he said but he figured it was good since he was still smiling. And then that smile broke into a huge grin, his eyes flashed with trouble and his hands were on Louie's shoulders and-- "Race ya!" Ty cried. With a light push, Louie was stumbling backwards and Ty kicked off into a sprint. For a brief moment, Louie could only gaze after him, stupefied. Love, huh? Like the real deal? That was crazy. But then he snapped out of as he recalled the audacity of this bastard. "You just pushed your liege!" He shrieked, receiving a loud "WOO!" from Ty as a response. And then Louie was grinning. He was giddy. He didn't quite know if he forgot about love in that instance or if it was the force powering him but he was tearing off after Ty, yelling about the latter's totally unfair head start. In hindsight, he should've figured it was love a long time ago. Who else would get him to run for no reason?

#ty cloudkicker #fairytale au

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ghoulciifer · 4 years ago

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summary: on an evening out with friends, you reflect on your time with those you met at Nekoma High some years ago.

pairing: kenma x reader

word count: 1.4k

tw: none

tags: fluff, mentions of a bar, exactly (1) reference to a drunk kuroo

notes: AHHH MY FIRST FIC ON THIS BLOG!! i really wanted it to be kenma because, well, he is baby and i will forever be in love with this pudding head. the dialogue is fairly short so this is mostly me just spitting fluff between reader and kenma but regardless, i hope you all enjoy and i ALWAYS appreciate feedback. seriously, it means the world to hear back from you guys!! and big thank you to @sanemisthiccbih and @msbyslut for proofreading, i really appreciate you two! ❥

Your time at Nekoma High was arguably one of the most influential in your life. The memories laid fresh in your mind as if they had only occurred yesterday; the laughs at the lunch table as Kuroo made Lev spew milk through his nose at some shitty science joke, the few times Yaku had to tug on your hair in the classroom just to see you smile after receiving a poor, yet very undeserved, grade, even the time Yamamoto tried asking you out in the middle of the bustling hallway, tripping over not only his words but his shoe laces as well… you could still picture the way his cheeks burned bright pink as he promptly removed himself from your chest (which was conveniently his landing spot) and frantically apologized.

However, the moments you were most fond of were the ones spent with someone you had never expected to become so attached to: Kenma Kozume.

Truthfully you never noticed the boy until the second term of your first year, completely unaware of his apparent presence throughout the first. Once you met him, though, you realized how he managed to fly below below your radar. He was so quiet you could hardly hear the way he muttered his own name when you requested it, prompting you to ask him if he could repeat it and bringing a soft blush to his face. Something in that moment told you Kenma would become an important part of your life. It could’ve been the way your heart fluttered when he smiled softly, saying something along the lines of “No one really asks me again…”, or perhaps it was the way his eyes bore into your soul like gentle pools of amber, seeping through every crack surrounding the most vulnerable parts of yourself.

Whatever it was…to this day, you made sure to thank your lucky stars for that encounter, else you might not be where you are now.

“Oi! Y/N, quit gawking at Kenma and laugh at my jokes! You already get to go home with him!” Kuroo’s strong (inebriated) voice rang in your ears, effectively tearing you from your reminiscence. You notice Kenma eyeing you suspiciously once you finally register that you have, in fact, been staring at your boyfriend for God knows how long. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you smiled sheepishly before biting back at your rooster headed friend,

“Well, maybe if your jokes were funny I would laugh, dumbass!”

Your remark received a wave of ‘oooh’s from the group of old friends surrounding the booth you all somehow managed to squeeze yourselves into, and Kuroo’s now red face sports his signature cat-like smirk while the look in his eyes tells you ‘oh, I’ll get you for that one’. You couldn’t help but giggle as Lev smacked him on the back in a fit of laughter; the lanky blonde really hasn’t changed since high school, even after becoming a model.

None of your friends have, really. They were all the same stupid, headstrong trouble makers they were back then, the only difference now was the fact you all had jobs, careers even. In fact as you all sit there, in that dinky little bar on the far side of Tokyo, sharing drinks and stories from ‘the good ol’ days’ (as Yaku affectionately puts it), it’s hard staying in touch with your current reality. Everything just feels so… familiar. Maybe that’s why you were feeling so sentimental tonight.

You feel a hand slip under the booth and grip your thigh, right above the knee as the thumb traces the tear in your jeans, pulling you back in before you slip away again. The action makes you turn your head slightly to see a (rare) playful Kenma also painted in a slight pink hue, a grin tugging at the corners of his lips as a quiet chuckle slips through.

“Got ‘im good, babe.”

The praise makes your heart soar and a giggle surface from your upturned lips. You love seeing this side of Kenma, as he never really improved his social battery very much over the years. Such a problem is very easy for him to feed into with his gaming career, and no matter how many times you try to drag him away from his desktop, he always manages to crawl back into his shell right before you can shut it indefinitely. But nights like these are important to you two (whether he admits it or not), so you both always make a point to attend.

And you swear you can see that shell crack, pieces breaking away ever so often, with every crinkle of his nose or roll of his eyes, his shy smile never faltering.

“You ready to get out of here?” Kenma speaks again with a slight squeeze to your knee, but the way he reaches into his pocket already in search of keys lets you know the question was more of a statement. That social battery must finally be running out; but you can’t complain, peace and quiet with Kenma sounds like a dream right now.

“Yea… let’s go home.”

The way you said ‘home’ in such a soft, endearing tone made Kenma’s heart flutter in his chest and a swell of emotion sent every nerve in his body crackling against his skin. He usually handled this feeling well enough around you but, much like how you’ve been feeling, the sentiment in the air felt thick and put a haze over his usually level-headed mind. As a result, everything he felt seemed to increase tenfold. This did nothing but widen his smile toward you and soften the look in his eye as he grabs your hand, mutters his goodbyes to the rest of the crowd, and waits patiently for you at the end of the booth while you follow suit (not without rebutting Kuroo’s objections, of course).

Kenma had an arm outstretched behind him to hold your hand as he maneuvered you through the room, carefully leading you to the exit and huddling close as soon as you made out into the lamp-lit street. The air was much cooler than when you had first met up with your friends, and the twilight sky was proof of just how much time had passed. A crisp breeze sent a chill down your spine and you went to assume your usual position of looping your arm through your boyfriend’s while he walked with his hands in his pockets, yet, when you reach for the tucked limb it snakes its way around your frame and wraps firmly across your lower back.

Kenma must’ve seen the surprise in your wide eyed expression because his brow perks in question as your content smile shifts into a bright grin.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing… you’re just exceptionally soft tonight.”

You didn’t see so much as feel the eye roll in response to your remark, your eyes focused on the path to your parked car some blocks away. You only huddled closer to Kenma to emphasize.

“I really like seeing you out and about, especially with the group,” your nose scrunches as you pull the collar of your coat closer to your face, shielding your neck from the cold as you walk, “I know it’s not easy for you sometimes but… you always have that look in your eye, the one you had when you played volleyball with them.”

Kenma’s silent for a moment while he processes your words, trying to suppress the way they instantly made the corner of his lips perk up. He secretly enjoyed the way you cared so much about his social life. He recalled multiple conversations where you reminded him “discord calls and lobby chats don’t count as socializing”, and of course, you were right. He found himself wanting to see his old friends more often than not. He’s never been good at expressing it but somehow you just knew… and while he might groan or whine about finishing ‘one more game’ before leaving the house, he loved what you were doing for him.

“Thanks, Y/N… I had fun.”

The way your eyes lit up after that rare statement put the stars above to shame, Kenma thinks, and he can’t help but lean forward slightly to press a kiss to your temple. It was a small gesture, but… you could feel the love through the gentle press of his lips, and the way your infectious smile was finally breaking through to him against your crown.

“Yea, yea… let’s get you home before Kuroo finds out you’re being so sweet.”

#kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume #haikyuu fic #haikyuu #kenma kozume fic #kenma fic #hofortendouwritesfanfiction

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fe-semi-decent-scenarios · 4 years ago

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Could I ask headcanons of Black Eagles flirting and crushing on Byleth (professor?)?

[Ask and you shall receive lol. Lately I’ve been busying myself with long reports, so I needed something cutsey to recharge.(Sorry if it’s complete rubbish lol) It’s not much but I hope you like it!]

Edelgard:

Ehh. She won’t be a student much longer anyways.

Byleth will always be her professor...but maybe another title can be ticked onto that list? She hopes so.

However, she doesn’t go too overboard. Just a few teasing gestures and quips every once in a while to sedate the budding sentiment in her heart

With more pressing issues over love, Edelgard can’t afford to play the role of lovesick schoolgirl

She sets side her personal feelings for the professor when around others. Instead they are treated as a good friend and adored instructor. Alongside the present given on Byleth’s birthday are a few other trinkets Edelgard picked up herself, you know, because she’s extra

When alone her thoughts often drift. There are many occasions where work ends up procrastinated

She keeps everything bottled up inside and doesn’t even hint at the idea of a crush to anyone. To love is to be compromised, to be compromised is to be weak, and to be weak is to fail

This is something she firmly believes until the support of her peers and affection from her professor begin to challenge it

Perhaps there is room for love in her future

“My teacher, you are an important companion to everyone here and to myself. You must never forget that”

Hubert:

Oh he is smooooth.

Yet subtle

He knows that he shouldn’t become too attached considering what’s to come in the future. His mind and body are her highness’ to command

....well, all good things come in moderation anyways. What’s a little meaningless flirting?

His flirting methods follow the ‘attack of opportunity’ plan. Meaning that he tosses in his quips when the time seems fitting

He knows what he is doing. Never assume otherwise

Obviously such conduct towards a teacher is unrefined. Does he care? The guy couldn’t give less of a sh*t

He has 100% commented on their dancing attire at least once

People should mind their own business lest they want to lose their tongue. Can’t gossip when you can’t speak, right?

If the professor doesn’t seem to mind then why should he stop? If they recuperate then that’s even better

It’s no fun when prey doesn’t fight back once in a while.

“Oh do go on. The droll behind your ever so taunting tone is intoxicating. It almost makes this insufferable lecture mildly entertaining” -shots fired. Professor or not, ‘love interest’ or enemy, Hubert does not tone down the sarcasm

No one even suspects that he has an interest in Byleth. He downright makes it appear that they are his sworn enemy (whether this is intentional or not? You decide)

Caspar:

‘Flirt’? ‘Caspar’? That’s funny

It’s not that he can’t do it. Caspar can be very charming when he wants to be, but why bother?

They’re his professor. If he starts kissing up to them then the others might start to think he’s pegging for special treatment

He also doesn’t want them to like a facade. He wants them to like him

Not that he would turn said special treatment down if offered. He d o e s want to get stronger, and the extra time with his “favorite”*wink* professor is a lucky bonus

He tends to have a ‘lingering eye’ that’s easy to pick up on if you catch my drift

he is not pure hearted, just a dunce. There is a difference

The boy blushes at every little action without even noticing

He loves to watch them train, both to better his own moves and to admire them without it seeming weird

Literally everyone knows that Caspar has a thing for Byleth before he knows it himself. He’s the kind that mistakes a crush for admiration

He’s also a big baby when it comes to them giving other people attention.

He justifies his interruptions as: “The professor doesn’t have time to do __ for __! They have enough to do as it is!”

Now what does that translate to in Caspar language?: “The time the professor spends doing __ is time they could spend with our class me”

Someone help him. He’s so thick headed it’s actually sad

Petra:

“My apologies. I will be returning after the clearing of my head”

She’s unfamiliar with the courting methods in Fodlan. Are they the same as in Bridgid?

Thoughts of the professor occasionally will interfere with her study time

Also her appetite. Normally she eats plenty at meals since she hates waste, but the professor makes her nervous about her etiquette

let’s just ignore that Byleth eats like a ravenous boar

She wants to take them to see Bridgid. It’s only natural to want to share the things you love with those you care about

She embraces the affection she feels. Byleth is a truly wonderful person and the royal family would gladly accept them if Petra expressed her feelings

When she returns she wants to ask them to accompany her

For now she will remain at their side both in battle, in leisure, and in spirit

Petra also isn’t one to approach with caution. The way she flirts is through honesty

If they do something she likes then she says so. If they look nice or are trying something new then she’ll comment on it. If she sees something in the shop that they might like, then she buys it

Petra is simple. She does for Byleth what she thinks will make them happy and doesn’t overthink it in the slightest

Dorothea:

The newfound feelings aren’t discouraged nor appreciated. It is a battle between practicality and love for her

Not because of them being a professor, but everything else

Mercenary, teacher, reincarnate, solider, tactician, etc.

Such a dangerous profession with so much blood on their hands. Are those the ones she wants to hold for the rest of their days?

Will they even live long enough to grow old with her?

She wants a reliable partner to take care of her and not give her a heart attack on a daily basis. So far only one box is checked

She will not be a widow at such a young age. She refuses

When these thoughts emerge Dorothea retracts from Byleth. There’s still the open friendliness that was there before, but now an extra barrier has been put up

She won’t go out of her way to give Byleth special treatment. Her search for a partner other than them will continue on

Maybe she’ll find someone else to smash these feelings so that there will be no need to confront them

Only after they ‘die’ will she stop suppressing them.

“To think that it took such a disaster for me to see the light. Why do people realize such things when it’s too late?” - she focuses on personal growth until the reunion. Relying on another person to prevent the past from reappearing is not what she wants.

Ferdinand:

The best way that Ferdinand can communicate his feelings is through words

He tries. He really tries to come across as a potential life partner for the professor. He can only be a student for so long, and they’re close in age. Logically there is nothing wrong with the possibility of a courtship

but because speaking ‘frilly’ is a normality the effect is not like how he hoped

When Ferdinand falls, he falls hard. Yes, he is a flirt. Yes, he stretches himself thin trying to please everyone. Yes, he has his quirks that make him extremely confrontational

So when he finds someone with the ability to make him both strengthen his morals, question the bigger picture, and grow as an individual (after the whole ‘noble’ mine-bomb) it’s a big deal

Therefore he will not relent in his pursuit of Byleth unless they explicitly tell him to stop. If words don’t work then he instantly pegs for quality time and acts of affirmation

Greets them every morning, carries their supplies, invites them to tea, delivers lost items, etc. People really do peg him as a kiss ass.

He doesn’t get the ‘heart flutters’ that people talk about. When he’s beside the professor he just feels energized. Like he could actually beat Edelgard ‘could’ is the key word in that scentence

“Good morning Professor! If your schedule allows it, would you care to join me for tea later this afternoon? Your company would make it the perfect level of sweetness”

Linhardt:

A firm believer of “age is but a number”

It’s more of his personal beliefs that tone down any pursuit of the professor. They are currently in a position of power over him that halts any relationship progression at a professional level.

So as any healthy person does: he vents any growing affection into his studies

He h a t e s how they make him restless.He’ll be feeling drowsy one moment but then their face will pop into his mind

He can’t even sleep through class. Not with them there

Actually works in the class’ favor since he starts contributing to the lectures. If you can’t beat them then might as well join them

This is how it is during pre-timeskip for the most part. Occasionally he will let his thoughts slip but never any action

He has crests to research and Byleth has students that seemingly want to die by the hour. There is literally no time to flirt

Now AFTER the timeskip, things are different. Linhardt is a blunt person which sometimes works in his favor. Just so happens that flirting comes naturally to him

most of the time it doesn’t though

“Could you refrain from doing that? It’s distracting” “Linhardt, i’m stretching. How is that distracting?” “You are an attractive individual. Need I say more?”

Life is short. He has no filter

Bernadetta:

“HI PROFESSOR!” “Afternoon Bernadetta. I see you’re out of your room today” “W-what? OH! Yes. Y-y-yEs i aM IM SORRY I’LL GO BACK PLEASE DON’T PATRONIZE MEEEEE”

She’s scared. What’s new?

The girl never expected to have these feelings. One night she was painting when what was supposed to be a cloud began to resemble her professor

It was downhill from there.

Her behavior is exactly the same as prior to her feelings. Being a naturally jittery person works to her advantage, no one suspects a thing!

Compared to simply being friends it will take longer for her to be comfortable

She will avoid Byleth at all times outside of lessons. It’s just too hard to communicate anymore

Eventually her outer shell will crack. The once new feelings will begin to feel normal and the old bernie will be back. Jittery, hyperactive, kind, lovable bernie

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danganronpedits-archived · 4 years ago

Note

hello! could i get a yttd, dr, and/or (s)dra(2) matchup, please? I’m pretty easy to get along with, and outgoing, according to my friends. im a very pda heavy person, and i show it whenever possible. Im naturally very charismatic, and i find it easy to get my way, but i often doubt my authenticity because of it. Usually im a very truthful person, but i can lie when it matters. im a very emotional person, but i dont like to stress out my friends with my emotions. (1/2?)

+ yttd/dr/(s)dra(2) anon here again! i care deeply for my friends and i try to help them whenever i can. usually this is more in the way of advice. despite having a fair amount of friends, though, i’m officially an introvert (infj). //thank you and have a good day!!// (2/2)

yeahhhhhh you could totally get a matchup!! you sound suuper sweet!! thank you so super duper much for requesting, your matchup may-or-may-not be under the cut !!!

i’ll warn ya though, the length of this one varies a whoooole lot. my matchup-motivation(matchivation, as i call it) has been at a low lately, super sorry that you’re on the receiving end of that! i’ll get out of my slump soon, proomise !!

-mod tsu (kinsidering icons)

first off, from your turn to die, i match you with...

kazumi mishima!

this section contains spoilers for your turn to die, as well as the island mode spin-off, your time to shine! okay, PLEASE hear me out on this one. i was originally going to put mai here- so this is definitely a jump. however, specifically based on your mbti type, i think mishima is a better fit. let me explain. despite being a little strange, i think that people can find it easy to get along with mishima. he’s very close with nao, of course, and even before the second trial he manages to develop a friendship with gin, and become on good terms with sara, kanna, joe, and somewhat reko. in the island mode, while it may be customary since he’s the protagonist, mishima does also get along rather well with the rest of the cast. plus, he’s typically the one that’s more willing to ask questions about the others in a friendly way, or more willing to be personal with the rest of the cast. it’s clear that he cares very much about other people, and i think that corresponds with your MBTI type. to quote the website’s specific description, INFJ types, “take the actions that they do because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.” while escaping from an island is a somewhat extreme example, it still applies. i wouldn’t say he’s exactly pda heavy- but kazumi is very actively affectionate for other people. he drinks with keiji, um... and works out with shin? however, it’s clear that in all circumstances, he wants to help and has the best intentions in mind. in terms of you, i’d say he definitely shows affection whenever possible, though maybe not in physical form. in terms of getting his way... i would actually say that he does, too. first off, going back to that charisma you both have, it makes the two of you seem rather reliable. plus, i think both of you know when what you’re asking for is too much, and in general those good intentions seep into what you ask other people for. haha... i could definitely learn something from you guys. he is rather truthful i’d say, especially in how much he cares for others. i think that the two of you would also be rather trusting, not being paranoid or wary unless there’s a good reason to. however, he can lie when it matters. in the beginning, kanna is much more stressed about her sister’s fate than she is later on in the game. kazumi lies for her sake, and tries to help her resolve and morale, by saying that there’s nothing she could have done to save her sister. obviously, kugie passing wasn’t kanna’s fault, but that was one of the only arguments kazumi could have given to her at the time that it wasn’t. that’s definitely a time when i’d say lying matters. maybe you’ve lied to spare someone’s feelings before, too ,,

well... the bad thing about hiding your feelings is that it’s hard to conclude whether mishima is hiding his own. after all... if they’re hidden, we wouldn’t see them so often. however, it’s clear that he thinks more than one might imagine at a glance. he cares deeply for his students beyond a surface level, and it’s clear that he’s attached to other people. he indirectly gives up his life for the sake of nao’s safety, and in the second chapter, his AI only blames himself for the grief his death caused nao. pluss... unless it’s with one of the kiddos(gin, kanna, etc), mishima is more the type to suggest ways to improve yourself, rather than just emotional support n beefing you uup. liiiiike, bring up your time to shine again, mishima’s obviously the one leading everyone to their epic island survival. right. BUT, in his affection events w/ shin specifically, the two of them work out together since shin mentions being really weak. whenever he facez a problem, his first thought is how to beat it into the ground. and maybe you feel similarly!!! with that productive mindset!! if you do... i promise that it’s super duper clear to everyone that you care so much, and they love-love how much you’re able to look out for their well being!!!!!! both of you do that!!! i’m going to explore your MBTI a little more real quick!!! buckle up, readers !!! buuuut before we do, mishima’s totally got a lot of friends. like, full stop, he finds it easy to get close with people on both the island and in the death game. however i think that mishima’s definitely more of an introvert than an extrovert. fiirst off, other than the whole art is the introvert’s ideal activity thing(plus, infj’s are said to be creative + artistic!! double kill!!), he also... gosh. how do i explain it. he more seems to like people than actively seek energy from them the way extroverts do, yaaa know? plus, wiith that advice thing you mentioned, INFJ’s tend to be future-focused people. i think that mishima’s a really goal-focused kind of guy. pluus, the both of you are bit reserved in yourselves(liike what you said about doubting your authenticity), and it totally seems like you value closer and deeper relationshipsz. aalso, the two of you may be a little hard to get to know, and can maybe be too sensitive to things(you mentioned being emotional). lastly, i think the both of you can totally be idealists- and as the 16personalities website says, you’re not “idle dreamers”. i wouldn’t be surprised if the both of you care for other people a whole lot, and try your best to help them and in general make the world better through other people. if that makes sense!

second off, from danganronpa, i match you with...

chisa yukizome!

like before, this part contains spoilers for danganronpa 3, the end of hope’s peak academy! it will have spoilers for future and despair arc, as i haven’t watched hope arc. ...though kaede akamatsu is a close second! honestly, while i did settle on chisa, i think you’re like if kaede and chisa did a funky dance and fused together. you’re still really like chisa though!!! the two of you both seem pretty easy to get along with, and definitely outgoing. however, i think that even with your eccentricities, you don’t really overwhelm people! you may a little here or there by mistake, but you’re sure to reel it in if they tell you about it- at least, that’s my guess. plus, i’d also guess that the two of you have good communication skills. as someone who seems to care deeply about people, both of you would probably make an effort to make sure you’re understood by the other person, and that the other person is understood in return. this also goes along with you seeming good at telling how others are feeling. plus, chisa isn’t someone who’s afraid to get physical with other people. this is shown when she physically picks up nanami in the first episode, and her pulling kyosuke and sakakura to her in an old photograph of the three. plus, while it’s not exactly affectionate... teruteru was on the receiving end of some ropes. she does seem to show this very often, as even when she’s not physically affecting people, chisa is still perfectly willing to get in others’ faces. i’d imagine that when she was younger, she might have been more like ibuki in that she just couldn’t restrain herself from expressing the affection in her body. i’d also agree that chisa’s rather charismatic. she’s able to get all of class 77-B on her side in the span of one day, and gets very close with even fuyuhiko after a few months. all of them miss her dearly when she’s sent off to the reverse course. jumping topics a little, i think that she also finds it easy to get what she wants. starting off with class 77-B, of course her charm let her get close to all of them- but her general determination makes it easy for her to know how she wants to face something. maybe you’re also the type to have ideas and a plan, and then roll with it if something goes wrong! neither of you seem like the type to go off of pure impulse, though- maybe educated intuition, but to make a funny joke, neither of you seem particularly trigger happy. you’re both the type to take a second and think before you make a decision, but you’re not the type to think too hard about most things. at least, that’s what i’m getting.

next up, we come to the reason that i went with chisa instead of kaede. i think that with your more goal-setting and process-based mind, you wouldn’t overthink a lie you’re telling and realise that it has to get done. i could be totally wrong, but if chisa sees it as necessary, she can create various well-meaning schemes. for example, while it’s not really a great one, whenever she’s brainwashed by junko she basically gets the future foundation taken down due to her acting skills. while i think she has a strong sense of right and wrong, i think that if she needed to lie she’d know it’s for the greater good. like mishima, maybe you’ve had to do something like that before- sparing someone else’s feelings, keeping someone away from trouble. so on. chisa is definitely someone i’d call emotional! her students can make her jump from protective, to frustrated, to overjoyed all in the span of a few minutes. these are all things she uses to her advantage, though i think that if she didn’t believe these emotions would be beneficial to communicating, she wouldn’t express them. you might feel the same way. for example, if you were in a situation where someone was acting unjustly, it would be more obvious than a situation where... say, you’re having personal issues that you can’t fix. i think you’d try to keep it to yourself if you didn’t think it would be beneficial. you deserve to vent !! it’s okay anooon ! lastly, i think chisa cares very deeply about those close to her. she gives a lot of advice to people like hajime and chiaki, who have their own struggles. plus, she’s not afraid to give sakakura a piece of her mind when he flies off the handle a little bit. in general, she’s also rather consoling of and friendly with munakata. even koichi, a big part of their relationship is how they encourage each other to do their best. chisa also tried to dispel nagito’s self-demeaning comments, which is... definitely a feat. even if chisa does have a lot of close friends and students who she’s on good terms with, a lot of her deeper thinking and planning happens when she’s alone. plus, even she could get overloaded by trying to overcome too many people. and just for a bit of spice, INTJ’s and chisa both are very idealistic and active about this idealism. plus, they also have strong beliefs and are unwavering on them, enjoy helping others(but need space to recharge), understand the good and bad in the world and want to make it better. i’m keeping them coming, chisa also has the traits of being very sensitive to the needs of others, being very creative, and being focused on the future.

and lastly, from danganronpa another, i match you with...

setsuka chiebukuro!

like the other two, this part contains spoilers of danganronpa another 2. though yoruko kabuya is a close second! to start off, i think setsuka is definitely easy to get along with. she’s very good at holding up a conversation and making other feel welcome, and maybe your presence is similarly welcoming or warm! she’s rather laid back, even in the killing game, so i think that you would definitely be similar to her outside of that dangerous situation. plus, i’d absolutely call her outgoing too! she doesn’t hesitate to talk to other people, and is the main moodmaker of the group. that’s her biggest concern in the killing game, honestly! maybe you’d also be more focused on calming everyone down and uniting other people, in a situation like that. plus, i think she is also pretty pda heavy! she tends to refer to the rest of the cast as kids, taking on a more mature demeanor. she also does a lot of hugging and head pats, and isn’t afraid to get in the water to swim with other people. if i’m right, she physically pulls sora, yoruko, and the others into having a pool and costume party with her. if she doesn’t she’s at least pushy- she knows how to get other people in a good mood and doesn’t hesitate to do so. this is shown with the parties she throws, how she organises everyone to meet at the satsuki land parade, just in general. she tries really hard, and i think you can also have a very active kind of moodmaking ability! she’s very charismatic, and maybe you relate to her more joking and easygoing attitude! from how you talk, it seems like you can make people feel relaxed just by being around you. and honestly i kinda love that? like, toss me some chillness pleeeez i think that she can find it easy to get her way, too. while more stubborn characters like hibiki and nikei she can’t get through to, that’s typically because they refuse to let her. even so, when she directly confronts hibiki’s closed off attitude in chapter 2, she manages to break through her cold facade. even if that’s just a little, she is ultimately the biggest factor in getting hibiki to warm back up to the rest of the group. she is rather truthful, though i think she can doubt herself at times too- i’ll get into that later. she can lie at times, like keeping nikei’s secret of his voice status, though this is like the others where she only lies and hides things when necessary.

next up, setsuka is also rather emotional. she clearly shows concern for all of the group members, and is willing to take on the role of everyone’s big sister for their sake. like, her entire role in the game is making other people happier and more at ease in the killing game. i just... that’s it. she also hides her distress and discomfort, however. whenever everyone’s showed their motive video in chapter 3, setsuka is obviously very upset by it, but she regathers her resolve and encourages everyone to keep going in spite of this. the only person who has the same amount of composure as setsuka puts on is sora, and sora’s motive video did essentially nothing except confuse her. it’s clear that she doesn’t want to stress anyone out, and puts a strong emphasis on the needs of other people. it’s obvious that the two of you care very deeply for your friends, and want to keep them safe. she also tries to help everyone whenever she can, as she tries her best to be helpful during trials, and as we just went over she’s very devoted to being a moodmaker. a lot of the rousing, invigorating speeches and words in the game are given by her, and through her actions she also does well to keep everyone’s morale high. setsuka also has more private conversations with people one-on-one about how they can handle their own worries, hibiki being the prime example. however, like with the other characters, i also wouldn’t call her extrovert. she seems to love people yes, but a lot of her conversations are more meaningful. it doesn’t seem like she talks to others just to talk, but she has clear intent whenever she does so. i think this makes her lean more to the introvert side. and finally, it’s MBTI trait lightning round time! INFJ’s and setsuka are both actively idealistic, want to make the world a better place, very happy to help others, need space to recharge, are sensitive to others’ feelings, focused on goals and the future, holders of strong beliefs, have strong imaginations, and want to get to the heart of issues so that people don’t have problems to fix. also, INFJ’s and setsuka both want to rule the world with kindness and love.

the show concludes...! here’s a word from our sponsors. from yttd, you also remind me strongly of joe tazuna and mai tsurugi, as well as lightly of nao egokoro, and anzu kinashi! from dr, you also remind me very strongly of kaede akamatsu, strongly of mahiru koizumi and ibuki mioda, as well as somewhat of aoi asahina, hiroko hagakure, yuta asahina and sonia nevermind. from dra you also remind me strongly of yoruko kabuya, and somewhat of akane taira, emma magorobi, haruhiko kobashikawa, and satsuki iranami! also, this is just based off of vibes, but you also remind me a little of hibiki otonokoji and shinji kasai.

ehe... i’m sorry, i feel like there are a lot of minor matchups... especially from only three(technically 7, but) games... but i hope this matchup was still helpful..! thank you so much for requesting, once again...

#kin matchup #yttd kin #your turn to die kin #dra kin #danganronpa another kin #danganronpa kin #dr kin #✿ they don't want this kind of ending! / anon #♡ ultimate cosplayer! / request finished #alcohol mention #smoking mention

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dahniwitchoflight · 5 years ago

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Candy 22-23

hmm, interesting, so 5 minutes of Terezi time equals about 2 weeks of John time?

What’s the math on that, how many minutes are in a week? 10,080? Neat.

what’s that divided by 5? 2016?

so time is moving almost 2000 times faster for John than it is for Terezi?

a Day for Terezi is literally 5 and a half Years for John by that Math.

All of John’s conversations have been happening over the course of not even 2 full days for Terezi so far, and by John’s estimation that she only ever messages every year or so

that turns out to be like, every 260 minutes for Terezi?? If my math is correct? (525,600 minutes / 2016 = 260 minutes = 4.333... hours)

4 and 1/3 hours.

oh my god, Terezi and John talk literally every 4 hours and 20 minutes that’s hilarious they turned 413 into a 420 weed joke that’s amazing

I wonder if Terezi takes his convo’s seriously or just think it’s an extended prank that their both neck deep in at this point? I mean, they joke with eachother a lot and he literally messages her what seems from her point of view, literally every 4:20 (Trolls understand weed jokes because I said so and because it’s funny)

Does he ever send her pic’s of what they all look like as adults? Does she think it’s badly like, photoshopped or something like what she used to do with Dave?

Or does she really know? Either way is interesting to be honest

Wait, did Gamzee make out Jake’s/Jane’s son Tavros?? Why is John so nonchalant about that?

or is it a different Tavros???

I’m confused, or maybe not, John’s going straight into a line that says take Tavros away from his family. what the fuck is Gamzee doing.

So I guess this is what happens to all non canon timelines? They get torn to shreds by the inevitable cosmic background blender that is the giant black hole thing in Meat?

Oh god Jane made a crockership, yeah we’re in the nosedive of all of Jane’s unsavoury tendencies made manifest

we don’t need a tiara here, this was carefully manifested and nurtured to happen by another guy who all fell into the worst version of himself

Sad to see karkat and dave seperated too, but interesting karkat finally got fed enough enough to lead a resistance

this friend circle is really going down the shits

but then again, kind of was to be expected, i mean, it’s not like they were all actually friends, there wasn’t really much of an extended friend circle for the alpha kids. its a stretch to even say John and Jane were close friends because they didn’t really have much interaction with each other either

Jane and Jake is pretty much a lost cause, Dirk is dead and also encouraging her downfall, and Roxy is totally accepting of everything around her for better or worse, and Calliope and Jane were never close not to mention Calliope seems content to just follow Roxy everywhere

there’s literally no one actually close enough to Jane to have an actual “i care about you’re my friend” conversation with that would actually feel genuine, so it’s kind of inevitable she’d end up like this in this sort of situation with no one to help her steer her course

John’s getting desperate to feel some sense of reality again, that picture of Terezi is almost like an anchor in the storm

he’s only attached to his reality because of his personal investment into it, like he’s too deep in it now to ever escape, not because he really truly cares and is happy I think but because he’s put so much effort into making this all work

Also damn, he’s really gonna kidnap Tavros, but i mean like, I don’t blame him if apparently his sort of father clown figure has been making out with him as part of a religious cult nonsense i hope im interpreting that wrong but he literally says PBandJ again and says Tavros, so like, who else could he mean

Fake redemption nonsense finally going down the toilet where it belongs

but damn, John’s gonna start a war I can see it now, this is gonna pop Jane’s cork and for all we know she could easily use it as an excuse to attack trolls by blaming the kidnapping on them

You know what is so interesting about this though?

Jane was raised by the condesce, and feared alternian society like it was inherent to trollkind

but here she is displaying that same tyranny in the name of humanity, it does a good job of showing this bullshit isn’t inherent to any person or race

but man, it is ironic how much of a mini Condesce Jane is becoming, complete with her own Grand High Blood too, while fighting what she probably considers tyrannical trollkind

It’s cute how Harry talks in a lighter Roxier shade of blue though, unfortunately due to the name I can imagine anything except Harry Potter being their actual child, Harry Anderson as a figure means nothing to me even though I know the reference and the picture that shows up in Homestuck I get the joke

Maybe it’s because it’s also Roxy’s child and she always had a thing for wizards so

Tavros talking in a dark purple is less endearing, because it so clearly shows that despite supposedly being a product of love between Jane and Jake, Gamzee as a weird third interloper has entirely taken over this family

Gamzee being the auspistice for Jane and Jake doesn’t sound good. Weird that he’s seen as like an Uncle figure too. This family is messed up to hell.

mmm.. I don’t think Jake and Jane are in a kismesis...

*UPSETTING CHILD ABUSE CONTENT AHEAD*

I don’t like how uncomfortable Tavros seems to be with an uncle figure taking him up to his bedroom im getting all kinds of bad child abuse vibes, not from john god no but like, Tavros seems so expectant of something to happen and that’s not pairing well with what Gamzee has apparently been doing

“Tavros sighs, his facial expression unchanging. He looks resigned. To life in general, as well as whatever it is he’s expecting from this particular situation. Wait... what is he expecting from this situation, having been led away to a secluded part of the house by an adult? What has he been taught to expect?“

I don’t like this. John please kidnap the child. Even though it’s going to start a war.

No I don’t like where this is going this is getting a big gigantic NOPE for me

Oh fuck okay, so it hasn’t happened yet, big relief there

but almost, still warning sirens going off in my head because

“JOHN: TRAIN you???

TAVROS: Yes,

TAVROS: In matters of combat,,, philosophy,,, life,,, love,,,

TAVROS: I suppose to behave the way a mentor does, as he sees it,,,”

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GAMZEE BEING A DIRK GAUGE

Is “Combat, Philosophy, Life, Love” just like symbolism for the four shitty ingredients of Lord English symbolically mixed together? Like yeah they don’t all sound bad when you put it that way but really it’s like

Combat = Physical Abuse = Caliborn

Philosophy = Religious Cult = Gamzee

Love = Obsession = Equius

Life = Dominance and Power = Dirk

Every shitty part of the LE soul combo contributes something bad to the whole

uh oh, they’ve been found out by Jade

Jade’s not exactly gonna throw him to the big bad wolf, but is she just gonna disagree with his actions? Or is she gonna try to stop him.

or argue? argue’s good, sure, not really but sure

Everyone knows Jane’s gone to shit, but everyone’s too cowardly to stand up to her and tell her she’s wrong

oh shit, speaking of

oh, well, that didn’t go how i wanted it to

John got so close to saying something that could break through to Jane, but Karkat was right, she couldn’t get her head out of her ass long enough to listen to what was being said to her, and instead immediately jump to conclusions about what she thinks people are talking about

she probably think everyone hates her suddenly because of her political ideas and thinks its ridiculous thats everyones getting so mad at her for it, head so far up the ass she should be turning into a fourth dimensional pretzel by now

even though this could have all have been avoided if someone just had enough bravery to nip it in the bud, so instead of angry raze the ground retaliatory action she could have just been embarassed and angry in the personal and then gotten over it in a few weeks

but nope, genocidal war in the works now

oof

just big oof

gotta say though, I’m sitting practically eating gigantic mounds of popcorn at the drama (Besides the one part that was implying gamzee was sexually abusing tavros before they made it clear he wasn’t, I could do without that one honestly)

other than that though, loving the drama, feel bad for the people getting the shit end of the sticks though

#Homestuck #Meat or Candy

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oh-theatre · 5 years ago

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Sycamore High: Quick Time (Chapter 35)

A/N: Ok so there was a giant time skip, nothing much happened but im here to answer questions. I just really needed to skip ahead and decided thats how I'm gonna do it. I hate this fucking chapter so much

summary: Things happen (I don't freaking know)

words: 3,323

warnings: Swearing, sadness, crying, negative thoughts, kissing, loopy acting, abuse, violence

Ao3 Link

“If you keep tapping your foot, Tommy…” Eric warned Tommy swallowed stopping. He stared out the window of the plane, waiting for them to land. The flight had been awful, spending almost 8 hours next to his father. They did get to sit in first class and Tommy absolutely loved it, he was devastated to leave France. It would have been one of the best trips if he could just remove his parents from the equation. They would constantly bring him around, or stay at home, leaving him to wander. His least favorite part? The churches, he loved the architecture but he knew why they were there which ruined it for him. He was excited to see Ted, he had offered to meet them at the airport but was quickly shut down by Tommy not wanting him to be harassed by his parents. He had barely spoken to Ted, every time he even glanced at his phone his parents would whisk him away to something. He’d either have to stay up really late or just not talk to him. He’d hoped his gift had arrived. The plane landed smoothly, and from then on things moved quickly. They went through everything being promptly picked up by the limo once more.

“Tommy, sit up straight” Teagan ordered, Tommy sighed. He was exhausted and just wanted to lean and sleep. But he did as she said, sitting up straight staring right ahead. The car ride was...boring. His parents sat in the front discussing who knows what and Tommy tried to keep his eyes open in the back. His phone had run out of battery so there was no texting anyone. Once they arrived at home Tommy raced upstairs plugging it in and unpacking. He knew his parents wouldn't let him leave the house unless everything was perfect, and the sun was still up so he was going to do his best. Once everything settled he gathered some things in his bag, taking his phone with a portable charger and going back downstairs. His parents stared at him, ready to grill him.

“Suitcase?” Teagan asked

“Unpacked”

“Dirty clothes”

“In the washer, ready to be cleaned”

“Clean clothes?”

“Folded and/or hung back up neatly”

“Room?”

“Tidy, and I changed the sheets on my bed”

“Did you-

“Take a shower? Yes, I did” Tommy answered, he’d done this enough times. Teagan stared at him almost impressed. She sighed clearly disappointed.

“Be back before nine pm, understood?” She declared, He squealed hugging her quickly. He ran outside grabbing his bike and riding away. He arrived pretty quickly, only missing a few directions, in his defense it had been awhile. He parked the bike, locking it up. He went up the stairs skipping one at a time until finally reaching the apartment. He was buzzing out of his shoes as he rung the doorbell. It was quiet for a moment but soon enough soft yapping could be heard through the door and a firm voice telling them to hush. The door opened.

“Tommy!” Chad exclaimed Tommy smiled it had been so long. He jumped into Chad's arm, receiving an immediate embrace. “Good to see you too” Chad laughed. He pulled away grinning so wide. Suddenly a frantic shuffling of small feet came running at him. He kneeled down embracing the white fluffball.

“Bonnie!” He squeals snuggling the creature in his arms, noticing a small Clyde following behind. He released his dog allowing her to circle his feet excitedly as he stands. Henry emerges from the archway, he's talking to someone.

“I'm sure it's just your father...” He trails off spotting Tommy, he smirks knowingly. Ted follows soon after meeting his dad's gaze. Tommy bounces, Ted grins extremely wide. The professors share a knowing glance before leaving the room.

“Ted!” Tommy squeals moving towards him

“Gumdrop!” He responds picking up the smaller boy, hugging him. He spins him around kissing him lightly. “I missed you so much!” Clyde bounces at Ted's feet wanting a piece of the action. He chuckles picking up the beagle, petting him softly. Tommy does the same with Bonnie as the couple makes their way to the couch. “How was France?” Ted asks Tommy smiles. He feels safe sitting here, Bonnie in his arms, Ted right next to him. France was awful, but right now, it was wonderful.

“Oh besides my parents it was beautiful Ted!” He shares, he wasn't lying. The time he got to spend on his own or with his grandmother was delightful. “I went to so many places! We were in Paris for a while, and then we traveled to Normandy, well me and Grammy did. My parents refused, but it was lovely Ted.” Tommy swooned, he kind of missed it. “The war sights were so sad but interesting” Tommy could go on for ages, and Ted would listen. “Oh! I do hope you got my gift, I realized we hadn't talked much since before Christmas”

“I did, I really loved it,” he expressed, the gift had been one of his favorites from the holiday. Tommy had made a wonderful scrapbook of all of their time together, with pictures, momentums, and silly things. Ted had looked it almost every night, each time discovering something new. It put Ted's gift to shame, he hadn't been able to send it to Tommy but he had it wrapped up and ready to go for this exact moment. “I'll be right back, I'm going to get your gift,” he said, kissing Tommy's cheek. He stood making his way towards his room. Tommy sat with Bonnie on his lap waiting eagerly, Clyde had followed Ted into the room. Clearly, the dog had become attached. The room looked the same except for a few small new things. The tree was still up, Tommy's heart ached at the sight. Wishing he could have spent Christmas with an actual tree. The fire was lit, the smell of cookies wafting from the kitchen. Everything was so...Christmassy. Ted returned holding a box, it was wrapped in a red paper, with little trees over it. He returned to his place handing Tommy the box. He opened it excited for the contents, knowing no matter what, he would love it.

And he did

~~~

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Aw man! Creeper!” Everyone paused turning to Ted, he pursed his lips shrugging. Tommy shook his head, signaling now was not the time.

“I'm not going over this with you again Paul” Emma returned her focus to Paul. Ted decided he was going to fall back a bit as they walked to school. He and Tommy fell in line by Bill and Charlotte as the arguing couple walked ahead. They continued this way during the entire walk to school.

“I need to talk to Jackie, see you guys later” Charlotte informed, waving goodbye to her friends. Tommy, Ted, and Bill pushed past the squabbling teens making their way to the locker.

“What is up with them?” Tommy asks leaning against the locker next to Teds. Ted opens his locker stuffing some things in, allowing Bill to do the same. “What happened over winter break”

“It's been like this for a week now,” Ted moans pulling out his lawn chair. He sets his up, Bill follows. “They won't stop fighting and we don't even know what it's about” He complains, Tommy nods. Bill yawns squirming in his chair. Ted grabs Pauls chair setting it up for Tommy to use, they sit. Tommy positions the chair next to Ted for the sole purpose of wanting to lean on him. Ted pulls out his laptop and begins working on an assignment allowing Tommy to lean on him. They were all exhausted, Emma had held a ‘Last Day of Winter Break’ party the night before. It was a great idea until they all woke up two hours later and it was time for school.

“I theorize that they are fighting because…” Bill pauses yawning, his glasses droop on his nose. Ted leans over adjusting them, gesturing for him to continue. “Thank you...I wonder if it's because of their chemistry project?” He inquires, Ted, bites his lip.

“Mmm I don't think so, last time I talk to Paul he said it was going fine” Ted recalls, Bill shrugs leaning back in his chair. He pulls out a book opening it to a bookmarked page. Ted eyes it “Is that the book for the book club?” He asks, Bill nods showing him the cover. “Cool, how is that goin-”

“I'm going to blow my fucking brains out” Paul interjects fuming. Ted shoots him a smile, waving hello.

“Good morning to you too Paul” He greets, Paul glares rolling his eyes. He shoves Ted's chair out of the way, causing Tommy to sit up blinking. “You could've just asked me to move..” Ted mumbles. Tommy stretches his arms out, kissing Ted lightly on the cheek. He stands grabbing his bag, Ted pouts taking his boyfriend's hand “Mmm where you going?” He asks, Tommy giggles softly

“Gotta talk to teachers before class” He informs lovingly, he releases Tommy waving a small goodbye. Paul gags sitting in his chair. Ted eyes him, raising an eyebrow.

“Ok, what is going on with you?” He gives in, Bill shuts his book interested. Paul glances between them, groaning.

“Ugh fine I'll tell you..” And so he does…

~~~

“So that's a yes?” Jackie asks unsure. Charlotte bites her lip nervously. She fidgets with her hands, wringing them. Jackie takes them, looking her in the eyes. “You don't have to if you don't want to, or if your not sure” She assures.

“No no I do...I really liked our kiss” She muttered the last part. “But I'm scared to break up with Sam, I've never broken up with anyone…” Jackie smiles affectionately at Charlotte. She was tempted to kiss her again, in this small corner of the school/

“I know, I liked our kiss too” She smirks, Charlotte chuckles. “But take all the time you need, really, breaking up with people is hard and who knows how Sams going to react” Jackie goes, Charlotte nods gratefully.

“You're planning on breaking up with me?” A sudden voice appears, Charlotte turns her eyes widen horrified. Sam stands angrily at the opening, his nostrils flare. “What kind of bullshit is this Charlotte?” He takes a step forward, Jackie moves Charlotte back a bit shielding her.

“No! Sam… I didn't... I..” Charlotte tries but what was she supposed to say. Her insides turn, she can't feel her mouth. She can't speak.

“This is all that guy Teds fault isn't it?” Charlotte became aware that he didn't hear about the kiss. But now she was worried about her friend. “I told him to stay away from you…” He cracks his knuckles “Oh.. he's going to regret this” Charlotte realizes what he means a second too late as he storms away, fire practically marking his steps.

“Charlotte are yo-” Jackie tries

“We have to go! We have to follow him, he's going to hurt someone!” She cries, Jackie nods as the girl's race down the hall. Following as best they can. They bump into students and teachers finally reaching a clearing of lockers and Sam. They see him approaching someone sitting in a chair. “Its Ted” She scrambled, Jackie holds her back out of fear she’ll get hurt. “Jackie!” But she's stronger.

~~~

“Hey!” Ted turns in his seat pulling away from the conversation. He spots Sam walking towards them, angrily. He eyes Paul and Bill who shrugs.

“Oh hey, Sam” Ted greets. “What i-” He was unfortunately interrupted by a fist flying at his face. His eyes immediately begin to water as he clasps a hand to his face. Paul and Bill stand, glaring at Sam. Paul creates a barrier between Ted and Sam, while Bill checks on his friend. Paul's first mistake was doing anything.

“You want some too?” Sam asked he shoves Paul backward, landing another punch.

“Hey!” A voice shouts, the students that had gathered turn to the voice. Henry emerges with their principal. “What is going on here?” he questions firm, his eyes widen when he sees Bill crouching helping Ted. He glares at Sam “Main office, now” He seethes. Sam grunts but follows the principal. Henry turns to the crowd, who all scatter upon his fiery eyes. He moves towards Paul helping him up “You alright?” Paul rubs his head nodding.

“Oh my god! Are you both ok? I'm so sorry!” Charlotte sobs running up to them, followed by a frantic Jackie. Ted winces looking up at her, he tries his best to give her a reassuring smile.

“Ok, you both need to get to the nurse” Jackie states, no duh.

“Agreed,” Henry says kneeling in front of Ted, Bill goes to check on Paul. Henry examines his injuries. He blinks at his father, feeling very woozy. Henry shakes his head helping Ted up. Bill and Jackie help Paul. They walk towards the nurse with a very worried and caring Charlotte following behind.

~~~

“Well, I'm sure he deserved it” Emma huffs, Bill exhales sharply.

“Emma I'm not kidding, Paul got seriously hurt” He informs, she turns pursing her lips. Her face, unreadable.

“He actually got punched?”

“Yes now, will you please come to the nurse's office?” She nods following Bill down the hall. He leads her into one of the rooms where Paul lays on the nurse's bed. “I gotta go find Tommy” He mumbles ushering her inside, briskly leaving. She moves towards the bed smiling sadly at him, she can't tell if he's awake.

“Hey Matthews, heard you got punched” She whispers softly, sitting next to him on a stool. He gives her a goofy grin, holding an ice pack to his face.

“I did, are you proud of me?” He asks, she chuckles softly. She leans in kissing him softly on the lips. Taking his hand as they pull away.

“No, you're a fucking idiot” She responds, he laughs instantly seizing in pain. “You're my idiot though…” She says rubbing his hand comfortingly. He nods clearly proud. He begins poking her softly

“Hey, hey, hey you know what we should do?” he giggles asking her, is he high? “We should stop fighting...it makes me sad” He pouts, Emma kisses his hand softly.

“Hmm...I guess…” She smirks, He smiles giggly “but only cause you got punched” He gives her a proud thumbs up. She chuckles lightly, the conversation dulls as he falls asleep. She sits there until his mom comes to pick him up promptly returning to class.

~~~

“So he's under anesthesia?” Henry asked doubtfully, the nurse thought for a moment.

“Sort of, it's just something to ease the pain but it makes them woozy” She explains, he nods understanding. She leaves the room excusing herself, Henry turns back to his son who sits on the bed trying very hard to keep his eyes open. Henry wishes he could drive the boy home but unfortunately he has a full day of classes. He’s waiting for Chad, who had a day off, to come to pick him up. After a very long calming down session. Ted set his eyes on Henry, he smiled and waved. Henry chuckled at him, he waved back.

“Punched!? You got punched?!” The door swings open revealing a very distraught Tommy. He rushes over to Ted taking his face carefully, moving it around to see his injuries. Ted smiles widely, pointing at Tommy.

“It's my boyfriend!” he exclaims excited, Bill sighs. “Hi” He smiles, Tommy shuts his eyes smiling. An absolute dork. He turns to face henry.

“Is he ok? Does it hurt a lot?” He figures he should ask someone whos conscious.

“It's fine… I'm used to it” Ted slurs, Tommy turns back to him sadly “My dads were so much worse” He laughs. Tommy feels a tug at his heart, he will forever hate how casually Ted will reference his past. Henry hates it just as much, clenching his jaw at the thought of Ted's old father. Bill sighs used to these comments, Teds usually a lot more careful about it. Tommy cups his face kissing his forehead lightly. “Mmm am sleepy” He responds, Henry nods.

“Get some rest dearest” Tommy suggests, helping Henry lie Ted down. Bill grabs him another ice pack holding it on his face.

“I love you guys!” Ted squeals “Bills my best friend! Tommys my boyfriend! Dad is my dad!” He sighs happily, Tommy smiles sweetly caressing his forehead carefully. “Nighty night, call me when Pops arrives” and that's that, he falls asleep after a moment. Watched intently by Bill, Henry, and Tommy. They swear they can hear him mumble a few words here and there, including ‘Gumdrop’, ‘Tall child’, and Bills personal favorite ‘fucking useless’

~~~

5 months later….

The group walked all involved in their own conversations. Arriving at the theatre the group said goodbye to Tommy and Jackie. Charlotte gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before waving goodbye. Emma couldn't help but smile, they were so happy. They had waited around a month after the incident before getting together. They sat in their respective seats in the theatre. Paul felt a buzz from his phone.

Thing 1 and Thing 2

Thing 1: Hey nerd, heads up I'm driving us home after school today

Thing 2: Noice, why?

Thing 1: Debs coming over, so car

Thing 2: ;)

Thing 1: Fuck off dweeb

Thing 2: I won't be the one fucking tonight

Thing 1:

Thing 1: I'm going to block you now

Alice didn't but she didn't respond so Paul, naturally, assumed she was dead. Chad entered calling attention to himself clearing his throat. The class went on as scheduled, it was boring, no offense to Chad. They went their separate ways to their next class before rejoicing for lunch.

“Sup fuckers!” Ted greets plopping himself onto the table. Tommy looks up.

“Languag- What am I doing I don't care” Tommy grumbles returning his attention to his homework. Ted glances at him but ignores it.

“So what's up,” He asks opening his sacked lunch, Charlotte joins followed by Jackie. They greet her, answering Ted's question.

“Nothing much, I mean studying for finals, registering for classes next year, summer plans” Emma informs, Ted nods stuffing his face full of food. “You?”

“About the same! I'm thinking of not taking ceramics next year” He admits, Tommy glances up but doesn't say anything. “Paul?” Paul yawns nodding, Charlotte feeds Jackie a cookie.

“Um the same thing, Im...really tired” He tries, Ted nods agreeing. “Ok I'm sorry but I gotta ask” he turns to Jackie “What the fuck is up Jackie!” He yells, the group chuckles. She smiles biting her lip.

“Nothing much Matthews, what's up with you?” She chuckles, Emma rolls her eyes. Paul bounces in his seat flipping her off. She returns the favor, getting a glare from Charlotte. Ted shakes his head, he turns to Tommy who hasn't looked up from his paper. He nudges him softly, causing him to sit up.

“What?” He asks irritated, Ted holds up his hands defensively.

“Nevermind than… sorry” He turns back to his friends, Tommy focuses back on his paper. Ted's heart drops a little. He looks to where Bill usually sits. Bills been attending book club regularly. He seems to enjoy it but Ted misses him on days he's not there. Lunch passes quickly, and so does the rest of the day. Emma says farewell to Paul, walking home. Charlotte and Jackie walking with her, the trio having a study session. Ted waits by his locker for Tommy, instead being met with Bill. He says farewell, waiting a little longer but ultimately his boyfriend never shows. He heads home alone, his parents needing to stay after school. Paul catches a ride with Alice, teasing his sister all the way home. In five months not much has changed, but it was about to.

#sycamore high #tgwdlmhs #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #musical theatre #theatre #starkid #robert manion #jaime lyn beatty #jon matteson #joey richter #corey dorris #lauren lopez #mariah rose faith #my writing #writing #ao3 #archive of our own

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ladyhawk-s · 6 years ago

Text

“What a Halloween”

Summary: Tamaki Amajiki has always been a fearful person, even at the smallest of ages. However, making friends with Mirio has pushed him in ways that he maybe doesn’t want to know if he should be pushed in. Especially when it comes time for Halloween. Despite wanting to avoid all mentions of Halloween, Mirio decides that it’s time to celebrate his first Halloween and it’s one Tamaki won’t forget.

READ ON AO3 / READ ON FF.NET

A/N: Hello hello! So obviously, it's not Halloween, it's actually....28 days after that (29 depending on your time zone) and I really have no words to explain. Rather, I just want to apologize heavily for the....month delay on this. I actually have been going through a writing rut since I'm graduating this semester and doing a lot of things that have been stressing me out so, despite me wanting to write this, it almost turned into a stressor. It's been rough and I have another 3 weeks of it being rough but I'm so happy to have this done! It was for the @bnha-halloween-bb and Im sure I will be shot by the mods with how late I am but it's at least here! By no means am I proud of it but it's done and I'm so happy to be able to share it with you guys despite me not being the most pleased with it.

Rather, please support my LOVELY artist @nekosisterart who drew the piece for this fic:. They did such a phenomenal job with it and I'm literally shook. Not only are they amazingly talented but they are also super kind and sweet and just a wonderful bean and I was so honored to be working with them again. Really, go send all the love to them since they are super great <3 They put up with me during this whole thing and they are incredibly patient so I want to just WILL SMITH SHOW THEM OFF because they are wonderful !!! ----------------- Halloween was a strange time. In the past, it was a time where quirkless humans could pretend that they were beasts or have magical powers that sprouted from the palms of their hands. They were able to get candy by pretending to scare people with their fake powers and teeth and it was a day where the imaginable became reality.

But then quirks emerged and it threw off the balance that Halloween used to have. The fake accessories became real and people really developed features that originally were used for fear. Confusion swirled around people for a while on what to do for the holiday, wondering what to do next since there wasn’t much to fear anymore.

However, creativity burst in the people and Halloween was back in full swing, this time with an even higher intensity. People used their quirks to impress enough for candies and costumes became more elaborate. The horror cranked up to new levels and scary movies took on a different form that would have been eye wrenching in the past.

Even the little kids also took onto this new level. Before the age of four, they dressed up in whatever might have been cute or what their parents might have wanted them to wear. Then, when the quirks came in, that’s when the intensity started. Quirks shaped their halloween experiences and there was almost a competition on who could pull the scariest identities. School got involved in these activities and the school where Tamaki Amajiki and Mirio Togata went to was no different. The school encouraged students to go all out in their costumes provided that damages were kept to a fixable minimum.

But, while every classmate was discussing the plans of their costumes and how best to scare their parents day of, Tamaki wasn’t exactly in the same mood as them. Or rather, to put it into more simpler terms, he was absolutely terrified of Halloween and the horrors that came with it. Despite having the ability to transform his limbs into monstrous animals that he ingested earlier and possibly becoming more terrified than any recreations out there, something about the way tissue paper folded into itself and cheap fabric rippled on human skin just seemed to frighten Tamaki from where he was standing. Even though his mother constantly coaxed him through the day, he still ended up shivering at the mythical creatures that haunted his nightmares with their bloodsucking and howls at the moon. Sometimes he could feel little bit marks on the base of his neck that his mother said was from his imagination but Tamaki knew better.

So when the topic of the Halloween festival came up, Tamaki was on the top of the list on not attending. The teachers brought their hands and wiggled their fingers when discussing the horrors they would experience. There would be a haunted mansion maze that was made to send a soul out of the body and there would be enough candy to have a stomach ache for a week after. Everyone bounced in their seats the more was revealed but Tamaki could only ball up his fists and hide his head beneath the comfort of his arms. Images of fright conjured up in his mind, though they might have been more exaggerated to him than probably the other students. Not even his mother offering to volunteer or accompanying him to the event was enough to make Tamaki go.

But a certain blonde child had that effect on him.

In other schools, Tamaki never really had friends. His social anxiety made him quiver in front of other students and teachers usually went easier on him due to it, though others couldn’t understand the turmoil that went through his mind and usually left him alone, saying he could go play with the teachers. Friends were never something he had the chance to experience and there was always that little voice that desperately wailed for that chance.

And that chance happened this year.

This year he transferred to a new school and had to be immersed with new faces. While moving schools was already daunting enough, the fact that these would be new faces that would judge him the same way others did only made this more anxiety filled. He could remember walking down the halls, holding the strips of his backpack with tight hands that paled from the strong grip he had. His introduction didn’t even last that long because he couldn’t express the words he wanted to and ended up sitting down earlier than expected. Tears budded up on the water line of his eyes and he couldn’t focus for the rest of the class.

Until a boy called out to him and finished the sentence Tamaki couldn’t. “You want to be a hero, right?” the boy asked back, reading the mind of the scared one. Instantly, within a manner of 10 minutes, he found out that the blonde child was called Mirio Togata, he had a permutation quirk that could only work if he held his breath (which he was still having trouble perfecting and constantly hit walls and other foreign objects that left little scars on the top of his head), and that he was a curious kid that spammed Tamaki with questions about his quirk and what kind of animals he could recreate along with the feeling he got when his limbs were changed to chicken legs. Somehow Mirio ended up finding out more about Tamaki than anyone except his parents had in his entire life and Tamaki wasn’t so sure what to do with that. He knew he should have been cautious and wary and making sure that there was some distance but….Mirio had that cheerful smile that was infectious and Tamaki tunneled into it. Which turned out to be the right action since he began to be Tamaki’s first friend and he would never regret ever allowing Mirio to be open with him.

Until now. Now Tamaki was really beginning to question his friendship with Mirio.

Unlike Tamaki, Mirio happened to be the head of the excitement club for this school event. Everyday he would giddly explain the preparations his father making to his costume and he didn’t give anyone any hints as to what he was going to be (although Tamaki knew him well at this point and this year he was going to be a werewolf with fluffy ears and a bushed out tail. To be fair Mirio did invite him to his house and he saw those pieces laying around that Mirio would bashfully brush off whenever Tamaki asked him if those were parts of his costume). Many times throughout the day, he would go up to Tamaki’s desk and tell him how excited he was for it and that he was looking forward being able to go this year since last year was a year of flu but this time, he stocked up on his vitamins and enough of cold medicine to defeat the toughest of runny noses. And he would always check up on Tamaki to make sure he was still coming.

Yes, Tamaki told Mirio he would go. It wasn’t a very smart decision at all, it actually had a lot of flaws attached to it but seeing Mirio’s bright smile made him cave in and go to the festival. Besides it was a bit more complicated than that. Mirio was Tamaki’s first friend. Never did Tamaki have someone who would go out of their way to invite him to their house for dinner or to a party or even to spend just a bit of time with. While Tamaki knew in the bottom of his heart that Mirio wouldn’t judge him or leave him alone if he said no to coming, there was still this pressurized feeling that he had to go. At least to go for the sake of his friend. It was a weird sense of paying him back for all the kindness he’s given Tamaki. Possibly making it up to him might have had better connotations. Whatever it might have been, Tamaki was now stuck with date filled of events that were only going to be frightening and enough to haunt his dreams for the rest of the year.

Since Tamaki vowed to eliminate Halloween from his calendar, he never had to worry about making or even purchasing a costume. It was something that never crossed his mind and something that didn’t seem like it would be used anytime soon. Except for the fact that his initial plans to sit at home and watch cute shows were now tainted with going to a festival where the dress codes skewed to fit varieties of costumes. He initially tried to think of casual costumes that he could make using the items in his closet. However, when Tamaki brought these ideas up with Mirio, his friend cried nonsense and the next day came with an old vampire suit that was only worn once by its owner.

Every day, it was a reminder that Halloween was soon approaching and every day, Tamaki wished time would slow to prevent it from coming. But before anyone could stop it, it turned into the night of Halloween.

With a small bucket in the shape of a pumpkin, little Mirio Togata waddled through the sidewalk in his super secret and special costume of a werewolf. It was more uncomfortable than he had originally expected, especially with the tail bunching up near the gap between his legs, however he worked hard for this costume and nothing was going to stop him. He could endure it for a small bit.

After receiving looks and grins, he finally made it to Tamaki Amajiki’s house. In retrospect, they didn’t actually live too far from each other. They only lived a couple of blocks away and those blocks were covered with enough sidewalk and light that his father felt confident he could walk there by himself without being hurt. It also very much helped that Mirio had a quirk that allowed him to sink away in case so Mirio could only grin and be excited. His hands produced a small but mighty knock on the door, creating little pounds of noise that echoed within the house. At first nobody answered. But that didn’t stop Mirio from producing another round of knocks until the door opened to reveal a tired looking woman with bags ringing around her eyes.

“Oh hello, Togata. How are you?” She asked with a strain that was attempted to be covered in smiles but failing at every turn with that. Small wailes waved from behind her and the crinkles of her eyes pierced inwards. There was a tired and exhausted look seeped into her eyes that made Mirio feel bad for Tamaki’s mother.

“I’m doing well, Ms. Amajiki. Is Tamaki home?” Mirio asked, though he already knew the answer. Even at his young age, he still knew the fine motors of manners.

“Yes he is. Tamaki!” She called from the door. Silence. “Tamaki, your friend is here!” She yelled once more. Even more silence. Suddenly, the wails from earlier resurfaced and his mother’s eyes winced at the emergence. “It seems as if he’s huddled in his room, you can go in,” she said while giving room to the blonde boy. The second his body entered through the frame, she shut the door and quickly ran over to the screams, leaving Mirio by himself in the vast house.

With the layout of the house engraved in his mind from his countless visits, Mirio traversed through the halls to reach Tamaki’s room. It was hidden in a corner of the house that had shadows covering the darkness of the door, perfect for a person who couldn’t handle much of the sun beaming on them. Coming to the door, Mirio pressed his ear against the wood to hear any remnants of life. Silence. Tamaki sure knew when to be quiet when he wanted. Mirio’s hand went towards the knob and he cracked it open to find the room shrouded in darkness. “Amajiki? Are you here?” He asked softly, stepping onto the carpeted floor. There weren’t any visible signs of his friend but little whimpers came from the under the desk that stationed against the opposite wall. Mirio took careful steps before he crouched to see Tamaki’s directly. “Amajiki? What are you doing? Are you ok?”

Hearing Mirio’s voice snapped Tamaki out of the tunnel he found himself immersed in. Since putting on his costume, he found himself jumping at even the small sounds of wood shifting or the steps coming from his parents. He didn’t much remember how he exactly ended up in this position and what crossed his mind to end up underneath the desk but he wouldn’t lie, he didn’t exactly want to leave his spot. “It’s….nothing…..” Tamaki said softly as he crouched further into himself.

Until he felt his arm being pulled away from his hair so he could see the concern on Mirio’s face directly. “Then why are you under here?” His friend asked softly, his head slightly tilting to show his confusion.

Seeing that look made Tamaki’s eyes wander around as he thought of what to say next. It wasn’t necessarily that he was avoiding his look but rather, it was his way of trying to formulate all the thoughts that floated around in his mind. He didn’t want to go but he wanted to make Mirio happy but would this really make Mirio happy? So many thoughts ran through his brain and they could only come out as little stutters from the tip of his tongue. “I’m….I’m….sc-scar-re-d….” He managed to speak out, albeit in chopped syllables. His eyes closed once more to go back into that fantastical hole that he created in his mind.

“Why are you scared, Amajiki?” A tiny voice spoke out, making Tamaki reopen his eyes once more. Mirio’s beady eyes crinkled in worry and his mouth gave a small pout that contained a small frown in it.

Once more, Tamaki’s eyes diverted away from his and he could feel small tremors coursing through his body. He took a deep breath in. “I...don’t like the monsters...I don’t want to be hurt….There’s scary sounds and scary people and…I don’t...like those things…” he rambled on, trying to make sense of a situation that had no sense to it.

Tamaki then felt Mirio place his hands into his own and squeeze them tight in the darkness. It was hard to fully make out the emotion that was seen but it almost had a brotherly love attached to it. “There’s no reason to be scared Amajiki. All of it is fake. No one will hurt you.”

“B-but...how do you know?? They could jump out and...and….”

“Amajiki, I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you. I promise. Just trust me, ok?”

Tamaki wasn’t sure if it was that or the exchanges that happened back and forth but soon, having Mirio be someone to lean on, he managed to emerge from under the desk. Things turned into a blur and he didn’t exactly remember how things turned out. His mind went back and forth and switched off reality in moments. One minute, he remembered being in his house and the next, he was outside, walking alongside Mirio. He could hear Mirio speaking talking about different subjects but none of it truly registered in his head. The only thing that went through to him was the calling of his name and his cape fluttering around his feet. There wasn’t a measure on how long they were walking but the quiet winds of the streets gave a sign that they were heading to their destination but not quite there.

Unfortunately, soon enough, the sounds of goblins and ghouls began to mix itself into the winds. The duo reached the school that had been transformed from a clean, pristine building into one with cobwebs stringing from side to side and splotches of black smearing down the side. Animatronic screeches loomed from the interiors of bushes that came with cackles of lightning rotating in.

The closer they reached, the more Tamaki’s teeth chattered with little clicks that echoed from his mouth. His arm gripped tighter onto Mirio’s, holding onto him super tight in this special type of fear that came straight from horror films.

Yet, funnily enough, Mirio looked complete opposite from his friend. His beady black eyes shone with little stars twinkling in his pupils and his mouth formed a perfect amazed gap that was filled with wonder and excitement. If his tail had any form of reality behind it, it would have wagged ridiculously back and forth in this childish excitement that fit for his age. “Woah, that’s so awesome!” Mirio exclaimed, his feet bouncing up and down that made both him and Tamaki bob in unison. “C’mon, we gotta hurry!” And with that last push of pressure, Mirio took their still steps into a run that skidded through the dirt and landed them within the depths of the festival.

[They see a bunch of different costumes and there are some people trying to scare them which works for Tamaki but Mirio is chilling and such]

It was corny to say but it was something of another realm. The school was known to have proper clothing that seemed to be ironed onto skin with serious expressions that could make anyone be stiff. But this, this was something else. Baggy costumes of all kinds floated around with buckets in the shape of pumpkins being swung around. Teachers that only knew how to wear suits wore elaborate costumes with fancy trims and delicate lace that showed their own pleasure into the spirit of the holiday. Even parents took the occasion to wear outfits that uniformed themselves to their children and little cheers and claps came from them as their little monsters performed in excellent ways.

While Mirio took in all the sights and engaged himself at all the beauty surrounding him, Tamaki, on the other hand, began to tremble even harder. If it wasn’t for his ill formed pants, one could be able to easily see his knees buckling within themselves, his kneecaps bruising from the small bangs they were doing. His arms latched even harder to Mirio’s werewolf costume and, if no one knew who he was, they would think that he was actually the wimpiest vampire to ever exist, even more than the ones from the popular series, Twilight.

“Boo!” A voice ringed from behind, echoing within Tamaki’s ear. Fright surged up his spine and he collapsed into Mirio, sending them both soaring into the ground. Tamaki could hear some exchanges happening before a hand shook his clothed shoulder. “Hey are you alright??” Moving in whimpers, Tamaki took in the sights in front of him. The hand that shook him out belonged to Mirio while the adult removed the mask that covered his face to reveal a scared and worried face. Still in a form of shock, Tamaki could only manage a nod before having help from Mirio to stand up. “Oh goodness, I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect this type of reaction. Are you hurt? I can run to go get some stuff,” the adult said, his hands raised to offer any assistance that was needed.

Tamaki only could shake his head while Mirio grabbed onto the sides of his body to keep him steady. “Don’t worry sir, he seems alright!” Mirio responded for Tamaki, coaxing the situation to a calmer state. While Mirio and the man exchanged reassurances, Tamaki looked himself over. To his surprise, there was only a bit of dirt that caught onto his cape from the fall he made that easily was brushed off with a few swipes. When he focused back onto Mirio, the other two exchanged final words before Mirio looked back at his friend with upturned eyebrows. “Are you ok, Amajiki? You didn’t get hurt or anything?” Tamaki shook his head once more, leaving Mirio to check him more thoroughly. After a few swipes of his own, he focused back on his friend and smiled. “Well, why don’t we play some games for a bit? There’s a lot of activities that I am sure we can fun with. C’mon Amajiki,” and hand in hand, they walked into the fairgrounds.

Although it was covered in more halloween decorations and spooky accessories, the games all inherently had the same themes that were present in a regular festival. Ranging from shooting games to activities that involved heavy amounts of bobbing objects, there were children covering each inch of the booths. Little shouts came from the games that signaled activity and beckoned the two boys to join in.

At first, it was a bit difficult for the boys to get into the fun of the games. Costumed kids pushed each other to get to the front, even ignoring the cries from adults that tried to have a semblance of a line. Mirio managed to dodge the hits from the other kids but that didn’t exactly work out for the other boy. Bruises started to form on the top of his skin and multiple times he had to reach out for Mirio when he felt himself being separated from Mirio. At first, Mirio didn’t realize what was happening but when he almost got upset at Tamaki for bumping into him, then those same kids learned well to keep their distance.

After minutes of trying to find that perfect game to play, the boys managed to find space in a game that involved the test of aim. This was a game heavily seen in America that was brought to their festivals time to time and it involved throwing balls into moving vases that circled around in a spiral frenzy.

“Hey, you two! Come try out your aim! Get the ball in the white cup and get a prize!” The attender called out to them, beckoning them closer.

“You wanna try this, Amajiki? It looks like it would be pretty fun,” Mirio asked his friend with a soft yet encouraging tone. Tamaki gave a light nod and he pulled them up to the man. “We would like to try sir!”

“Excellent!” He then dipped lower to pick up a series of balls that balanced themselves on his palm. “Who’s up first?”

“I’ll go!” Mirio volunteered, raising his hand up really high to showcase his readiness. Exchanges happened between them and he bounced on the balls of his feet, gearing up to showcase his aim. “Alright, here I go!” And he began to aim at the moving cups.

If anyone separated the scene into two different parts, a person would believe that Mirio was winning due to the smile and determination that created creases on his forehead. However, the balls ended up nowhere the moving vases. Despite adjusting his strength in different conditions, the balls would roll around in the rims of the cups until they bounced off into the water. The last throw almost made it in, that is until a gust of wind blew it off.

“Sorry about that, young boy. You’ll do better next time,” The attender tried to encourage while collecting the fallen balls to dry them for the next game.

“Ahhh! I was so close!” Mirio grunted out, placing the bottoms of his palm into his eyes.

Tamaki didn’t say anything but he knew that Mirio’s light heartened frustration was actually bothering him much more than what he was letting on. Each time he threw the ball, Tamaki saw the small glint that would cross his eyes that came from the desire of wanting one of the plushies. It wasn’t clear which one attracted him and pushed him forward in determination but knowing his friend, he had a good idea behind.

“I….I would like to try….” Tamaki spoke up, raising his hand shyly. Eyes snapped towards his comment and he tried to hide within his cape until the balls of were thrust towards him. Smiles went around that pushed Tamaki out of the shell he was hiding under. Even Mirio gave a slight cheer and nudged him forward.

Pressure began to build up around Tamaki and his throat kept swallowing down the anxiety that formed lumps in his throat. This was exactly why he never put himself into any type of sports or performances and he almost brought back the balls until a glance at Mirio built in a push of confidence.

Nowhere around the stand or even in the neighboring areas were there mentions of the usage of quirks. There wasn’t anything stated outright that quirks were banned from the fairgrounds. Yet, Tamaki couldn’t help but feel a little guilty at the gasps that erupted when his arm transformed itself into a tentacle from the octopus he ate earlier in the day. The thin endpoint carefully wrapped around the first ball, suctioning it into itself the crevices. With immense precision, he brought his tentacle closer to rotating balls and focused in on the scarce white cups hidden within the sea of color. Their slow pace seemed to speed up within the energy of pressure but Tamaki focused in his senses and flicked it right at the moment his gut told him to do so. Time slowed into a blur that put Tamaki in a haze until Mirio’s shouts and screams pulled him out.

“Oh my gosh, Amajiki!!! That was awesome!!! You’re so freaking cool!!!” Mirio bounced around, going in and out of hugging his friend with a type of spastic energy. It took Tamaki for a second to be brought back to reality but when he returned, he saw the smiles on everyone’s face with the ball resting peacefully in the white cup. Little tugs pulled up on the corners of his mouth and he couldn’t help but feel a tad bit of pride in that. And each moment he managed to get the balls into the desired cups, he could have sworn he felt a little lighter and the shouts were a bit louder.

“My, my, my young lad! Even with the use of your quirk, you did a marvelous job! It’s a rare sight to see for sure!” The man complimented before jerking his thumb towards the prizes surrounding the back frame of the tent. “You can get whatever you want! You can get 4 small prizes, 1 big one with 2 other small ones, or even 2 big ones! Whatever you want!”

Immediately, his answer was met with Tamaki pointing at the big large plushies that were constricted by the large cords. “Are you sure you want those?” Which was met with a strong nod. “Well, alright, give me a second,” the man said as he climbed out of the stand and pulled out a small ladder. He struggled a bit with the tightness of the cords and even gave a small curse under his breath with his hands twisting them around. However, soon enough, he managed to get them down and presented them towards the small child. “Here you go! Enjoy!”

Tamaki brought the two plushies in and almost doubled over in the huge weight that it was creating against his fragile body. He had to set them down on top of a cleaner patch of the ground in order to figure out his bearings. With a small breath in and out, he reached for one of the plushies and hid his face behind it as he turned to Mirio and brought his arms forward. “This….this is for you…..” Tamaki said quietly, a small blush fired up in his cheeks.

He couldn’t see well behind the toy but he could definitely hear the gasp that came from his friend. “Really!? It’s for me!?” Mirio shouted back, forming an image of bouncing feet in Tamaki’s mind.

“...yes….” Tamaki responded softly, his head bobbing slightly in a nod. He pushed it towards Mirio even more, hoping he would take it soon since it was starting to be heavy in his arms.

That hope soon was answered when Mirio took it from his hands and hugged it within himself. “Thank you so much Amajiki! You’re such an amazing friend! It’s the best!” His friend spoke, though there was a small waver in his voice that threatened to release tears. However, once Tamaki picked up his own plush and a cough came from Mirio, the same excitement burst back in. “Let’s go Amajiki!! There’s still a lot to see,” and with that, the boys went off.

It was a bit silly to see two small kids with toys half their size but they somehow managed to traverse the grounds will small peeks of their toys’ shoulders and using the sounds of nearby footsteps. Fortunately, Tamaki recently ate an aquatic animal that had the ability of echolocation so he managed to traverse the grounds while making sure him and Mirio to submit to their sudden deaths. He could hear little sighs of protest coming from Mirio with his inability to see but Tamaki actually enjoyed the lack of sight. His plush kept him in a fuzzy darkness that was comforting. It almost made this experience fun and enjoyable.

“Hey Amajiki! Look! It’s a haunted house! We totally got to go to it!!” Or maybe not.

Tamaki pushed his face more into the back of his plush, smashing his face in enough that it was as if he completely disappeared from sight. “Do...do we have….to?” He asked softly, his tone carrying hesitation, though the indentations muddled within the soft core of the plush.

“Of course we do! This is the biggest thing here! I’ve been looking forward to that all week!” Mirio responded quickly before doubling back a bit and tilting his head towards his friend. “I mean, unless you don’t want to go. It’s fine if you don’t. I won’t make you,” he added, though there was a hint of sadness within it.

Tamaki heard that and peeked over at his friend. Selfishly, he wanted to take on that offer and walk away and never look at it again. Mirio did say that they didn’t have to do it so the lack of pressure dissipated. And yet, Tamaki couldn’t do it. Seeing the lack of glint in his eyes made his stomach turn in different directions. He had never seen a frown on the blonde boy and yet, there it was. And it wasn’t as if Mirio was doing it to make him feel guilty, rather he would do whatever Tamaki desired and needed and would always put his friendship first. Which is why Tamaki had to change his answer. “No it’s ok….we can go….” he muttered to his friend, his voice quiet but still present enough to hear.

“Really? Are you sure? We don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable. I won’t pressure you,” Mirio responded back, his voice still sincere and worried, yet Tamaki could tell that there was a small little glint in the corner of his eyes. Already feeling regret bubbling inside of him, he nodded his head, affirming his previous words. Suddenly, the saddened face Mirio wore turned brighter, shining in the midst of the darkness looming around them. “Wow, you really are as bright as the sun Tamaki,” he said, though Tamaki couldn’t help but look at the irony in his statement. Then, he felt his hand being intertwined with his friend and he peeped up to see that Mirio beamed at him. “C’mon, let’s go. Don’t worry, it’ll be a lot of fun! I promise! And if you’re ever scared, you can always hold on to me.”

And with a little affirmative noise from Tamaki, the duo moved towards the haunted house.

Not surprisingly enough, there was a line of all ages shooting out from the door of the maze. Jitters and laughs came from the line while screams of those interior echoed against their excitement. Mirio kept bouncing on the balls of feet and moved around the sides that pulled Tamaki along with his movements. Having Mirio’s anxiety to get in only fueled Tamaki’s anxiety to go in, the screams and commotion only intensifying it even more. The shy boy even had to disappear once more into his plush until he heard a grunt. His dark eyes shifted to the owner and the first thing he saw was a teacher wrapped in bandages to a point where any recognizable features were gone. Dark patches of makeup covered any exposed areas of skin, looking as if they crawled out of a casket that buried them alive many years back. Only grunts came out of their mouth but they did hold a sign that stated, “Please leave all belongings in the cabinets to your right!”, to which Tamaki peered past them and saw kids cluttered around the lockers.

Tamaki was about to protest this rule when Mirio pulled on his arm to guide him along the way inside. “We gotta hurry Amajiki! We don’t want a bad spot!” Which was a reason that made Tamaki tilt his head in question but soon became clear when he saw Mirio shove other kids to have that cubby that was the right size for their plushies and bags and that wasn’t too high nor too low. Tamaki froze in the midst of the squandering children so there was a little bit of grace when Mirio took his stuff and placed it right next to his own. It took a bit for his friend to come over back to him but soon they were reunited and Tamaki’s arm began to pull out of his socket with Mirio dragging him along.

The mere second Tamaki laid eyes on the darkened door frame with pieces of stained fabric ruffling in the entrance, he could feel his soul seeping out of him, leaving his body into a frozen state. The only reason his feet kept moving was because of Mirio’s insistent pulls that drove him further into the tunnel. However, when the blood stained fabric brushed against his skin, the shock that froze his limbs shattered into millions of pieces and the adrenaline of fear zapped into him. Shakes covered his whole body and nails dug deep into his friends arms.

Eerie sounds echoed around them that contained jabs of snarls and henious jackal laughs. Hidden speakers scattered around the hallways, making the boys feel as if it was all happening right next to them. Splashes of red light illuminated parts of the hallway to help them find passage, though the first thought that came to Tamaki’s mind was that it was meant to help them lead the way to sudden death. Little ooo’s and aaaa’s came from Mirio and Tamaki questioned in his mind if his friend actually understood the negatives of this maze.

A dead end appeared at the end of the hallway with a window that had shadows dancing behind it. By force, the boys had to turn right with a darkened shadow peering off the left next to the ghostly window. With focus on getting through the new hallway in front of them, neither of them noticed a grotesque female in a tattered dress with zombie holes pushing herself out of the shadows, shouting monstrous noises while curling her clawed hands. Screams bubbled out of the boys and they scurried forward in fear she would be trailing behind them. In that scurry though, they didn’t notice a barn door slamming open and having a bloodied farmer popping out, reaching his arm for the boys to grab on help. However, before they could register the need, a horrific figure seeped behind the farmer and pulled him out of view that soon became replaced with sounds of hacking skin and blood bubbling screams. It felt like a scene from a horror film and Tamaki dug his face more into the crook of Mirio’s neck.

As they continued forward, the horrors turned more into sickening nightmare. The boys pushed through heavy black straps that greeted them with deafening chainsaw sounds. The scenery changed from a dark interior to a red lit farm. Glossy sheep and cows laid strewn on the turf, blood painted on the plastic surface. Bumpy paper mache trees stood tall, almost looking too calm in the scene of horror. They took more cautious steps, looking at the details and getting lost enough to distract the actions in their peripheral. Shooting behind the stationary tree was a younger male with a crumpled mask and plastic knife, charging after them with theatrical groans. Little screams erupted from the kids and they ran with adrenaline pumping in their system.

They pushed through to the next hallway and caught their breath in silence while listening to the whispers of halloween music in the background. Tamaki doubled over and placed his hands on his knees, wheezing from the creatures that popped out at him. He only paid attention to his breathing until the positive energy of Mirio snapped him out of it. “That….was awesome!” He heard Mirio say. Tamaki brought his eyes upwards and saw a gleaming smile on his face, completely serious on his comment. Mirio twisted to his friend and gave him a boost of encouragement. “Are you doing alright, Amajiki?” Tamaki wanted to give a big no along with running in maddening circles but he knew that the only way out was through the tunnel. He gave Mirio a nod and his friend stuck out his arm for him to grab. “Don’t worry, we’re almost there. Just a little bit more!” Mirio continued on, waiting until Tamaki grabbed his arm. “If anything, just close your eyes! Don’t worry, I won’t let anything to you. That’s a promise!”

Tamaki could only nuzzle into his shoulder and nod his head in response. Walking forward, he could steal hear the exaggerated halloween music playing in the background with screams and bangs hitting against the areas of the maze. He could also hear Mirio’s screams that were filled with more of a shock than any actual fear. Tamaki could occasionally feel slimy objects pressing against him or even the cold slivers of chill running up his spine when passing through a new hallway. However, no matter what ran through his mind and whatever colors flashed behind his eyelids, Tamaki made sure that they were kept shut as they traversed through the maze.

Then, a little glimmer of light seeped into his closed lids. He opened them to find a glowing hole, like the light at the end of the tunnel. True, there were hanging corpses and fragments of web shadowing over it but that went over Tamaki’s head. It meant his escape, the end to the horrors he had to endure the while he was stuck here, clutching onto Mirio’s arm and only having his laugh comfort his screams.

“C’mon! We’re almost there!” Mirio exclaimed loudly while pushing the hanged body out of the way. Their steps trudged through the wood flooring and the creepily placed tissue paper that stuck their feet into the ground, as if the maze was trying to keep them within the walls. However, with force, the boys pushed through. It wasn’t easy or fun or even comforting for Tamaki to have to push through hanging corpses that shared deceased eye contact with him with pieces of their toilet paper wrappings brushing against his skin. Nor was it easy or amazing to have to touch anything that had death and blood slime all over it. Yet, the light was getting closer and closer and the chills on his arms subsided and his eyes were screaming in adjustment and it kept going and going until….

They made it outside.

At first, it took Tamaki a small while to adjust to his surroundings. The fairgrounds had completely different vibes than what was shown in the maze. While the interior of the house was decked in horror and fright, the fairgrounds brought him back to the happier side of halloween with candy and costumes running around. Tamaki could feel his heartbeat calming down at the sights of comfort around him. Even his breath slowed down and the hyperextension of anxiety twirled down to a more easy rate, one that he was more used to.

“Congratulations for getting through the maze you guys!” A teacher in a witch costume encouraged. In her hands were little pumpkins buckets filled with all sorts of sweets brimming at the top. “Here, take this you guys. You earned it! Don’t forget to pick up your stuff!” She said with a sweet smile as she handed the buckets to the boys. Mirio gave a loud gasp while Tamaki matched it with wide eyes. Every candy that a sweet tooth desired found its way in the bucket and Tamaki couldn’t help but feel his mouth watering with anticipation to eating one of the candies in there.

Yet, before he could quickly pop one in his house, he grew distracted at the posture Mirio was doing. In his hand, Mirio held up a piece of chocolate with a grin slapped on his face. “Let’s do a toast to the night we already had so far and for the night to come!” And he brought the chocolate closer to Tamaki, hoping for a little bop back. It took a bit for Tamaki to get and Mirio had to give a small hint but he managed to scavenege a similar piece of chocolate and gave it a small boop into the one Mirio had in his hand while giving a small cheers in return. In unison, the boys ripped through the wrapper and chucked the chocolate in, savoring the sweet and melting flavor against their small tongues.

Silence passed between them when they tasted the goods but their swallows aligned at the right second and Mirio hooked his arm within Tamaki’s. “Alright, let’s get our stuff and do more stuff! There’s a lot to do and I’m sure we can get more candy!” He told Tamaki excitedly, making him walk toward the cabinets.

Tamaki didn’t say a word while Mirio went on and on about the different activities that were still left to do. However, it wasn’t exactly a terrified silence. Rather, and to his shock, Tamaki ended up smiling and nodding towards Mirio’s words, almost as if he was excited for the rest of the night. As if….this was going to end up being one of the best days within Tamaki’s life so far.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha halloween big bang #mirio togata #tamaki amajiki #miritama

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kikclick · 6 years ago

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Angry people

Angry is the easiest feeling to be expressed out carelessly. A person nt in control of his will power will without thinking throw a tantrum, spew mean words and feed their own ego and we always take that risk of saying things that is irreversible. We know it'll hurt n assured that we won't do it again and be better BUT only to succumbed and let yourself give in to it.

But, what's intriguing is someone who can in the midst of angry fits still surpressing the dire need to burst on impulse calmly smile and knows that a waste of negative energy spent is a waste of ones precious moment.

It could destroy something you have build Relationship, rapport.. Friendship..just because protecting your ego with might while standing on your self manifested pedestal is more satisfying than accept a different views.. Those are short term satisfaction. Anger is never an 'appreciating assets' u might think u hurt 1 person but boy how naive you are that u forgot that surrounding eyes are watching u. Strangers who doesnt know u already seen the worst of you. What a fucking waste..

But wait, calm yes getting back to it. Being calm is almost like a through years of training and countless times of impulsive burst of anger you finally said fuck this shit. Wake up the next day and decide to smile more often and bearing murphys law in mind, wise to know the repercussion ahead of his action Is someone i think have won his battle with himself but still find a better solution to problem.

Im 1 angry guy. I felt like a cb everytime i let the devil take over control. It's like im being rape and helpless while im feeding the evil pride in me. Comes to a point whereby while im busy showing people im angry and belittling the guy im engage with i have that faint disappointing feeling at myself. But as usual, whack only later can talk. So, when that later comes and finally u let that faint voice out to speak, you have wasted many n possible thousands positive reaction just because you think you can doesnt mean you should homeboy.

It's hard having anger management . Harder when that's our only way to vent. Because loud gets attention and being loud while making sure you're in everyone bad rep list soothes your man pride.

I'm just ranting coz felt like a need to put it into words. And to put it here in public is so that my life struggles are my anger..because i chose self b4 others. Im selfish.

Fuck up part is that split second before gg to a full blown gayest rage ever you already set the chain of reaction. I fucking knew what the outcome, if people were hurt.. Causing nuisances to other but sadly i am blinded.

What im saying is alcohol destroy moral, substance abuse i find it funny why isit subtance abuse when you're actually abusing yourself with substance? These group forgo relationships to feed his addiction so on so forth.. This are accompanied by an object.. But anger is affiliated nothing physical or instigators. Yet we could inflict if not as much at least irreparable damage. Those 2 despicable addiction is curable. Take the alcohol off or drug from the abuser. Make it zero accessibility for the abuser and u solve a problem. Relapsses occur if he found new means to acquire his vice. But as long become sober and engaged healthily im sure he wld prefer sobriety than being in the limbo.

But anger is nothing compared to convincing bunch of fools thats people see the stupidity in them tat they tot its an achievement. Anger resides deep inside the crevices of your heart and its attached itself closely to short term memory in your brain. Why short term? Cz u angry u got time ah to think what happen years ago. You only want that quick flash of memory and say heyyyy fuck it same ol routine let's donk it. Then hell break lose.

For those like me or have your loved ones struggling managing their big pride small ego, never stop encouraging them through their small little achievemnt as simple that time how they isolate themself away from source of anger. I would sit and cuddle my knees and just breathe heavily sometimes i would cry butost of the time i forced feed my thoughts and rationalise my action. It can take longer trying to talk yourself out. At this crucial moment. It takes another bigger person, whos is the victim of the angry person to come to him and tell him, hey while ur trying calm yourself, you achieved to be im control of your impulsive action. Small but with constant uplifting words and encouragement, the person who use to be angrier than the word itself will surprise u that they are actually a fucking nice chap.

We're only human. Share the blame and help us who struggle with our anger by telling us u recognise that we're trying and this time round, i see your struggles. No more reason and excuse of people only wants to see you angry because its your weakness. And it is you not people who chose to portray your ugly side and play victim by saying all they see is your negativity.

Self before others, happy reign over sadness. Resentment is the route to self entitlement and ignorance. There's a reason why i grow into an adult and leave the adolescent phase because no dhit sherlock.. I am suppose to leave that childish behavior long ago amd grow into something much more wise and tolerant individual.

Remember words from a wise old green thing.

.. Anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. You suffer nvm ok. Your pasal. You hurt other u dai.. Its locked down in their bad memories and until u chose to change and accept changes, boy you're in for a long ride. The jokes on u if you remain the same coz you're missing out social interaction. Be in control of yourself coz thats shapes your tmr. What's the hype keeping negativity when being happy sparks more euphoric feeling and accepted socially . Shun your ego that god has embedded in you just so u cn mess around and devulged in it. Like me, i had too much time feeding it. But no, things will change. Once this is posted. This is my recovery. Rehabilitation to a happier fendi.. My war. If you're caught in argument with me, let me be the ones spouting nonsense. Engage with me in softer but confident tone of voice. And i will eventually realise im the retarded ones and Shut my fucking ass mouth up...thats when u step in n look for queues of me realising my bodoh. Help me and tell me that hey. U pick the right choice and domt feel like your helpless cz u chose to be calm. Its 1 small step to better days..and we will see u through it.

So... If want to cibai.. Dont cibai like the world is yours. Because got bigger cibai u havent met amd your small penis problem is nothing compared to the cats u neutered. Nabei your cock problem cannot handle want to intervene into some inmocent animal problem.

Nights. Remember if its too good to be true, it is.

From your angry ego bruised boy.

Bruised bane loll

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95825s · 7 years ago

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jealous!seongwoo

member: ong seongwoo

summary: you and seongwoo are friends but when you both are left alone, it gets really awkward and you just want to run away from him by going with your other friends....and seongwoo just feels a little jealous?? hehehe

genre: fluff (im so bad at doing fluffy stuff im so sorry)))))

a/n: requested by an anon! it’s long and dragging the main plot but i wanted to make the flow slow and steady so...

so you’re part of this huge group of friends and you all met through lectures and brought everyone together

it’s not you all see each other every single day though, it’s like those type where you bump into them and you all get friendly and such and it’s kinda a nice feeling

you also have a small group of friends from that huge group because you have the same major as them

and they consist of kang daniel, kim jaehwan and ong seongwoo and they’re a bunch of cool looking people but they’re highkey makes you embarrassed all the time with their lame jokes and actions

but you still stick to them because you embarrassed them too so everyone is just the same

you’re specifically close with daniel because he stays at the same apartment building as you so you both go home together or buy groceries together

jaehwan and seongwoo tend to come by the apartment on weekends though because they’re attached to daniel somehow.... lol

but between all three of them, you get super awkward when you’re alone with seongwoo

like he’s funny and do dumb stuff when he’s with a lot of people but that day when you and him were the only ones standing at this place, waiting for the rest to come to hang out, he was so quiet and you got really awkward with him

but you were really glad when you saw daniel coming from far and you just excitedly wave at him and he had his eyesmile and bunny teeth showing through his smile and waved back at you

seongwoo was still quiet and you just decided to ignore him because maybe he had some problem going on

and from that day, you didn’t want to be alone with seongwoo again because you couldn’t handle that awkwardness

so whenever you were about to be alone with seongwoo, you always find excuses, even though it didn’t make any sense at all lmao

and sometimes when you were on your escape from seongwoo, you would bump into your other friends, but mostly bump into minhyun and you’re fine with minhyun because he’s really easy to talk to

so like any other day you saw minhyun again, sitting alone at the table and he saw you too and called you over and you were like nodding while smiling

“hey” he greeted you when you sat down, and you greeted him back

“what are you doing here, again?” he eyed you suspiciously, and you were giving him a forced smile, “just wandering around”

“sure” he said, his head nod slowly, not believing what you said and you were like ???

he chuckled and shook his head, “you’re so confusing but it’s okay”

and you were laughing because you didn’t know why but you were so done with yourself like how minhyun was with you

and minhyun just conversed with you like usual and he told you about this funny story about jisung and you were becoming a laughing mess

and everything was just so interesting to you until minhyun stopped looking at you and his head looked up, “oh hey, seongwoo”

and you didn’t know why but you just froze on your seat and you couldn’t look at seongwoo

because you remembered you told seongwoo (and also daniel before he was about to leave) that you were going to the library to do some ‘research’ but you ended up with minhyun right there......

and you saw seongwoo sitting down beside minhyun who was infront of you and seongwoo was just smiling at you both

“what are you guys doing?”

and he looked like you didn’t tell him a lie at all and that made you 10 times worst

“oh, we’re just talking about some funny stuff, right y/n?” minhyun replied as he looked at you before he looked back to seongwoo

and seongwoo was nodding his head and turned his focus to his watch, “anyway i just want to greet you both so see you guys around” and he just left you and minhyun quickly and you were like so confused at seongwoo

“what was that?” minhyun suddenly asked you and you gave him a weak knowing smile and his brows rose in curiosity

“i kinda lied to him that i would be in the library.... but i was here instead”

“but why did you lie?”

“...because if i didn’t lie, i would be with him and it would be so awkward...”

“awkward? you and seongwoo? well, that’s new”

“yeah... i don’t know why but whenever i’m alone with him, he’s just so quiet and somehow it makes me really nervous”

minhyun suddenly gave you this weird smile like it looked creepy for you and he was like “do you like him?”

and you were so flustered over that question and dramatically saying no with your hands

but minhyun didn’t believe you at all and you were trying so hard to explain to him that it wasn’t like you would occasionally stole glances at seongwoo whenever you were supposed to focus on jaehwan’s stories or you would paid extra attention to him whenever he did something funny or like you felt your heart beating fast whenever he smiled at you

like noooo you really don’t like him

“are you daydreaming about seongwoo?”

and you snapped that inner thoughts of yours like thank god or else you would really think you actually like him...........

okay so maybe you really did like him and maybe that was why everything was so awkward when you were alone with him

“i am not” you answered minhyun, as you crossed your arms like a kid

“right” he laughed at your action, “if you like him, why don’t you tell him?”

“... i don’t think he would like someone that lies to him... besides i can’t confess when daniel and jaehwan are always around”

and minhyun looked at you, smiling happily, “so you do like him”

so after that day, you try to avoid bumping into minhyun.... because he’s going to tease you and you probably would kill him if you get so fed up with it

also you didn’t want to remind yourself that you actually like seongwoo... which is hard because seongwoo is always there

but you’re glad that daniel and jaehwan are always around lately and you get extra cautious of not getting yourself falling deeper for seongwoo like you’re trying to limit yourself from getting to know him more

which means you still lie to him.... but with a good purpose, of course, like first, seongwoo wouldn’t need to deal with you and secondly, you could deny you have feelings for him

and in the end, you just mostly avoid seongwoo and go with daniel to do other stuff and daniel being daniel, he’s okay with everything and just brings you along

and you both get really close and it’s fun but the thing is that you’re not that attracted to daniel, like you would consider him as a friend only and somehow you’re so confused with yourself because you spend a lot of time with daniel, (but you like seongwoo instead.....)

anyway seongwoo would be like ‘oh okay then. i’ll see you guys tomorrow’ and he would just leave but his expression always turn into something serious like something is in his head but you didn’t bother to ask because you get nervous again and it’s so dumb

so you just see seongwoo leaves and you get sad sometimes but it’s for the better like he could do other stuff instead of being with you

but life likes to make fun of you so you’re currently outside of your apartment door, seeing seongwoo standing at daniel’s apartment door and you both are just looking at each other and it’s starting to make you anxious

and you want to just enter your place but at the same time you can’t just let seongwoo wait for daniel outside of the door

“daniel’s not in?”

seongwoo shakes his head as he purse his lips, “he said he’ll be home in an hour”

and you’re looking at your door knob, gulping nervously before you face him again, “do you want to enter mine first?”

seongwoo looks at you and he’s actually kinda surprised at your offer and he couldn’t say anything so he just shakes his head again

“it’s less cold inside, come on” you said, unlocking your door and left the door open for him

and as you enter your place, you’re panicking because you just invited him and he’s going to be alone with you for a while

you try to remain calm when you hear his footsteps getting in your place and you give him a nervous smile

“i’ll make us some tea, you can sit down” you tell him, turning around quickly to avoid seeing him looking amused at your living room

honestly you’re trying to waste time to make tea so you don’t have to talk to him for a long time so you’re just pacing around in the kitchen with two cups of tea being on the kitchen counter

“are you alright in there?” that’s when you realized the time has been dragging for a long time and you have to really face seongwoo again

as you place the cups on the table, you let a soft sigh and sits across seongwoo and seongwoo is just looking at the cup and pick it up

and he blows the tea to cool it and it’s odd because he’s not looking at you at all but you’re definitely fine with that..... right?

your fingers just fiddle with the hem of your shirt out of nervousness and he’s been so quiet and it’s killing you

the time moves so slow too and you’re mentally cursing why daniel is late to be at his place

so you start to open a conversation with seongwoo about daniel, to make things less awkward for you and your head is like finding a topic about daniel to talk about until you found one

“so what are you going to do with daniel in his place?”

seongwoo pauses his entire body like with the cup on his hand, before placing it back slowly on the table

and he finally looks at you and you could feel your heart beating really fast

“just going to play some games, the usual”

and you nod, “i see”

“yeah”

more awkwardness and your eyes just focuses on the clock you have on your side table. 40 more minutes....

“daniel’s really good at playing games, right?” you say, as you see seongwoo frowns

“yeah, i guess”

“daniel said he’s going to teach me how to play this one game which i’m still waiting for him to call me to play since--”

“can we not talk about daniel?” seongwoo suddenly cuts you off and you just shut your mouth quickly, feeling scared

“i mean-- it’s fine to talk about him and all, it’s just that--”

“i’m annoying, huh?”

“no. i didn’t mean it like that. can we just talk about other things?” you try to read whatever is going through seongwoo’s mind, he’s still frowning and his eyebrows furrowing like he’s upset

“what do you want to talk about then?”

“about us”

his stare is killing you and you couldn’t mutter anything to him and he’s sighing deeply

“you’re so different whenever you’re with me” he says, “especially when we’re alone”

“that’s because you turn so quiet whenever you’re with me. are you uncomfortable with me, seongwoo?”

“no, i’m not”

“then what is it?” you ask him, your smile turn weaker and you’re trying to figure him out but he’s not saying anything at all

“fine, i get it. it’s not my business to ask you that--”

“i like you”

and you swear it’s like the time suddenly stops and you’re looking at him, and he’s looking back and you just couldn’t process that in

and you become a lot more nervous and seongwoo is still sitting and doing nothing makes it worse but his lips begins to move for him to talk

“i was quiet because i was nervous that you were there with me alone and i didn’t know what to do.... and you always took your leave whenever we were alone so i assumed you felt uncomfortable with me so i just let you go. but then i saw you....with minhyun, laughing together and it was affecting me to see someone i like looking so happy and cute with someone else....but i understand though, i mean, i didn’t do much for you and i’m a coward”

“-- so i thought that maybe if i went to you both i would figure my real feeling for you and when i saw minhyun smiling really widely and you were just looking at me uncomfortably, i felt like i couldn’t make you happy like how minhyun did.... i know he’s a lot handsome and more charming--”

“seongwoo--”

but he just goes on and you just keep quiet again, but the air feels a little lighter than just now and your lips just slowly forms a smile

and you’re trying not to laugh because you could obviously see seongwoo is actually jealous

and you see his lips pouting and it makes your heart flutter because he’s so cute

“--and also daniel. he makes me angry sometimes like he brings you everywhere with him and you both have a lot of fun and you posts them on your instagram and i get annoyed because you both are way, way too close to each other. and daniel just do those gestures easily on you like his arm around you and you’re fine with it, i get that. i mean i’m no one but i’d like to do that to you too”

and your cheeks just feel warm and butterflies playing around in your system and seongwoo still has his pouty lips and eyebrows frowning cutely and you’re like so speechless over the whole thing

it’s like seongwoo has been keeping that whole thing inside him and you’re happy that he finally says them

and he hasn’t realizes that he had said that and he sighs, “do you like daniel or minhyun?”

and you look at him, trying to calm your beating heart because the way he’s looking at you feel like he’s really sad about it and you just want to give him a hug

but instead you smile at him, “i like daniel”

and you swear you could feel the tension rises up and he stands up quickly, “as expected. i’ll just go now” and you chuckle because he’s sulking like a child

and you walk to him and drag him back on the couch he was sitting on and he’s suddenly freaking out a little because you’re so close to him

and you’re actually freaking out too but you have to do it or else you might regret not doing that

“i like daniel--”

“i know”

“but as a friend”

seongwoo stares at you and the closeness is beginning to feel really comfortable

“i like minhyun too, as a friend”

“okay. i get it. you like me too as a friend”

and you shake your head and your arms just instinctively hug his body and he gets so shy at your action but lowkey loves it

“i like jealous seongwoo, as more than a friend”

and he’s like “wait a minute, i am not jealous”

“yes you are”

your head just moves back to look at him, and you’re pouting and imitating him from just now and he pressed his lips together, trying to not get irritated but he also lowkey finds you super adorable

“so we like each other?”

and you nod your head shyly and it feels right at that moment.... and seongwoo is smiling really happily and you both just love each other’s presence right there

and you just laughs over how you silly you both are and you realize that daniel is probably back home already and you move away from seongwoo and he’s sad over the lost of contact

and you remain oblivious of it as you stand in front of him, “should we go to daniel’s place now?”

and seongwoo’s face becomes grumpy at the mention of daniel’s name and he’s crossing his arms, “no. i rather stay here with you”

“but daniel--”

“say daniel’s name again or i’ll make you remember my name only” seongwoo smirks, which leaves you stun before he decides to place you a soft kiss on your cheek

“since the truth is out, why not i bring you out to exchange for the times you have been running away from me?”

“with daniel?” you tease him again, and his whole face speaks jealousy

“without daniel, of course”

“are you sure?”

“you really want me to shut you up with a kiss, don’t you?”

and you turn quiet by yourself but you still get that kiss from jealous seongwoo ;)

#ong seongwoo scenarios #ong seongwu scenarios #ong seongwoo requests #wanna one scenarios #wanna one requests #anon who requested this probably knows how many requests i have #i usually do first come first serve kind of thing so....

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sehunpeachy · 8 years ago

Text

cardiac arrest (m) | pt. 1

pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 (coming soon)

⇒pairing: taehyung x reader (ft. hoseok)

⇒genre: doctor! au | angst+fluff, smut at the end

⇒length: 14k

⇒summary: you’ve always thought the only thing you’ve ever wanted was to become a doctor, but then you meet him.

a/n: wowie its been a while i’ve been super busy with a ton of crap and im still busy but i really wanted to write this and get it up for you guys! part 2 will not come out for a while, but ill try my best!

People often told you you were crazy.

They told you so when you didn’t squirm or look away during the gorey bits in movies like all the other kids.

They told you so as your blade meticulously yet eagerly sliced the frog’s stomach open during biology class and poked at its insides.

They told you so, even up until the moment you were standing up on stage, accepting your rolled up diploma in your shaky hands, because you were going off to “doctor school.”

You became a pre-med student, despite everybody telling you were going to be socially starved, always high on caffeine, and the dark circles under your eyes were going to be permanently etched into the crevices of your skin by the time of graduation. And most of all, they told you you were crazy.

You graduated without regret, receiving your final diploma with even shakier hands than last time. Even so, the stage felt so empty without him standing by your side.

Your head rolls to the side where he would have been had he stayed with you. You knew he would have been smiling and his hand would have brushed against yours.

Maybe, you had one regret. You wished you had said something to him before he left, so maybe…just maybe, he would have stayed.

Like you, Kim Taehyung was crazy. You met him on the first day of training as a pre-med student. His hair had been a light chestnut color and it bounced as he turned to you to ask for something to write with in the lecture hall.

You exhale a gush of air as you reach into your bag to pull out a pencil. You hated giving out your pencils. And to a pre-med student? On the first day of class?

“Thanks,” he simply says, his fingers brushing against yours as he takes it from you. “I hope you’ve been paying attention so far, because I haven’t.”

A smile creeped on your face as you simultaneously roll your eyes, a combination you would often give to Taehyung after this day.

Without words, you slide your notes in front of him, seeing him sneak you a look from the corner of your eyes.

“I’ve never met somebody so nice and nonverbal, all at the same time,” he whispers to you above the lecture and you almost let out a laugh.

“I do speak, thank you very much,” you reply as you watched him quickly scribe your notes on his paper, constantly flicking back to your professor to make sure she didn’t catch the two of you talking.

“And you’re pretty too,” he trails off, momentarily pausing his writing to shoot you a sly look. You roll your eyes and sheepishly smile. It’s silence for a few minutes but your attention fails to focus on what your teacher is saying when Taehyung’s leg stretch out a bit and your thigh makes contact with his. You try not to react, but it’s hard when he turns to you with a smirk creeping on his face, indulging in the physical contact.

He gives you back your notebook by the end of class, and you’re left with a clog in your throat when you see he had scribbled his name and his phone number at the bottom of the page.

You sit next to him in the next lecture, and the lecture after that, and the next one too. He’s your partner during every practical, and his hand brushes over yours as he hands you the equipment. “That’s the wrong scalpel, Tae,” you would say.

“You’re right, my bad,” he replies, but you know it’s on purpose because he just wants to lightly touch your fingers each time.

By the end of the first semester, you adapted the mentality that he would make the first move. He never did, and so neither did you.

By the second semester, you’re sure you’ve fallen in love with the boy, so he must be in love with you too, right?

By the third, you decided you should be the one to ask him out, but the words never come out right in your head, so they never come out at all.

By the fourth, he was leaving you.

You wish you would have said anything to make him stay. God, did you wish you had said something.

You don’t see him again, but he never seems to have left your mind. The problem was that your thoughts never sufficed, not when you no longer had him to share lecture notes with, or switch scalpels with as you dissect, or struggle to tone down your giggles together in the dark hours of the library when you should have been studying.

There was nobody like Kim Taehyung; you learnt that the hard way.

“Quick! Move out of the way!”

These sounds were not uncommon in a hospital in the main city. Even so, your heart sped up every time you heard them. Those were just the burdens you faced working in the intensive care ward.

You push yourself off your chair and run into the hallway, following the noise. “Dr. Y/N! Please hurry!” You hear one of the nurses yell back at you. You run even faster, eventually catching up to the patient being carried into the emergency room by two nurses.

“What’s the heart rate?” You ask, holding onto the edge of the stretcher and helping it move quicker.

“There’s none,” one of the nurses answer and you can’t hide the grave expression washing over your face. A cardiac arrest. The doors burst open and you’re suddenly under the familiar dull blue lighting of the surgery room again.

The nurses haul the patient onto the platform as you slip on a mask and gloves. “Do you want us to get the scalpels?” A nurse asks.

“No,” you snap, “we don’t have time. We need to get the heart rate going.” You’re quickly by the patient’s side as their chest is revealed. A small, frail body, and you realise it’s just a child.

The nurse understands you, quickly handing you the defibrillator and starting it up. It hums increasingly loudly in your hands and you quickly press the surface onto the plates of the chest. The body jerks violently, and this part always scares you.

Your eyes flick towards the heart monitor, and a feeling of hope hits you as you see a spike. You wait a few seconds before repeating the action, and the spiking becomes a bit more regular.

“A few more times!” You tell the nurses, and if it weren’t for the gloves, the device between your fingers would be slipping around in your sweaty palms.

Suddenly, the patient jerks a bit more violently the last time and the monitor plays music to your ears; a regular heart beat. You’re panting as the humming of the defibrillator dies down and you hear the patient begin to breathe.

One nurse is running her hands across the patient’s hair, telling him it’s okay, as the other hands you a bottle of water. She smiles sweetly, but your vision is too blurry to notice. “You never fail us, Y/N,” she says as you uncap the bottle and down the water.

“Don’t jinx it,” you reply and she chuckles. No matter how many times you have to do your job, you can never get over the dizzy and agonising adrenaline it gives you.

“You rest, we’ll take care of him.”

“What about the parents?” You ask, gulping down the last of the bottle.

“His mom’s outside. We’ll send somebody to tell her the good news. Unless…”

“I have other work,” you cut her off. You never met with the patient’s family. It gives you too much attachments, and you know how hurt you can get sometimes.

A knocking on your office doors makes you startled and you quickly drop your resting legs from the surface of your desk. “Come in,” you say, fixing your hair in the haste of the moment.

Your shoulders relax when you see Hoseok, his face peeping out of the door. He swings it fully open, revealing two cups of coffee resting in the knook of his elbow.

“I heard about another successful surgery yesterday. I brought some coffee to celebrate!” Hoseok says, rushing over to you to place the cups down and falling onto the chair opposite yours.

“Thank you, but I wasn’t the one to perform the surgery,” you say, sliding the coffee closer to you. You never told Hoseok, but you hate coffee, which is why you don’t drink it in front of him. He just loved to get it for you, and you didn’t want to ruin that for him. “I just got the heart rate going.”

“You saved a life, Y/N.” He tells you, picking up the cup and taking a sip. His body flinches as the scorching drops of coffee hit his tongue.

You never saw yourself as a ‘hero’ that people told you you were. You were just doing your job. “Anybody can pick up a defibrillator.”

“Definitely not true,” he says and you laugh because you realise how ridiculous you sound. “You need a license for that kind of thing.” He takes another sip and flinches again.

“You should probably let that cool down a bit,” you say, playing with a pen resting on your desk between your fingertips, twisting it around and feeling the plastic.

“I like things hot,” he replies and your eyes widen. “Beverage-wise, I mean,” he corrects and you laugh with him, but you know it’s blatant flirting.

Hoseok made his feelings about you clear.

He was a great guy, but you hesitated in reciprocating his affection because you knew once you did, you would be giving him the trust of having your heart. Nowadays, you don’t give that out so freely.

You met Hoseok in the lunchroom on your first day of work. You instantly clicked with him, and it was hard not to when he clicked with everybody. He worked in another ward; a “dermatologist” he told you on that first day.

“Is that why your skin is so clear?” You asked, leaning on the lunch table and consequently closer to his face.

“That’s just genes,” he answered back and you chuckled. Then he extended his hand towards you to brush away a crumb hanging on your lips.

It was the first time somebody made your heart rush in a long time, with the expectation of the patients in the ER.

Every time you feel like Hoseok is about to make a move on you, like as he slings his arms around you and starts asking about what you’re doing over the weekend, your initial reaction is to deny it.

“I have some documents I need to write up,” you tell Hoseok. He’s so good at hiding his disappointment, so his smile never falters. “Maybe next time?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” he replies, his arm still around you. You wished he wouldn’t say things like that because it made you feel that much more guilty.

He really was perfect. Kind, sweet, patient, hard-working, and attractive. You often notice colleagues ogling over him when he’s not looking. But even when he gets you coffee every morning and asks you how you’re doing, if you’re too cold or if you’re ever stressed, or what your plans for the weekend are because he knows a guy who knows a guy who has tickets to that concert you’ve been dying to go to, he was never enough.

It’s true Hoseok made your heart race and your cheeks warm, but there was always something missing. That ‘something’ stopped you from grabbing his neck and kissing him when it’s just the two of you and he had been looking so amazing that day. That ‘something’ stopped you from saying yes to going out with him when you knew you were free and lonely and you’ve been dying to go to this concert for forever.

“How’s the skin business?” You ask, playing with the ridges of your coffee cup.

“It’s fine. I just came back from this appointment. Middle aged woman, sweet, her husband wants her acne scars gone.”

“Ugh,” you say, rolling your eyes. “What did you say?”

“I had to do my job,” Hoseok says, leaning back in your chair and exposing the expanse of his neck to you. “But I told her she could find guys much more attractive then him, even with those scars.”

You laugh.

“What about you, heart doctor?”

“You know the business,” you say, leaning back too to relax. “It’s scary. You never know how your day’s gonna be. It will either go like every other day goes, or it becomes the worst one ever.”

“You’re a great doctor, Y/N,” Hoseok said, drinking a bit more of his coffee. He doesn’t flinch this time. “That will never happen.”

“Anything can happen,” you say. People told you to never worry about losing a life because there were enough staff and doctors around that would prevent such a thing.

You just wish somebody would tell you it’s definitely possible to fail somebody, because it’s the cold hard truth, but it’s the truth. And sometimes you don’t need sugar-coating, you need to be told you’re not crazy to think such a thing.

“How’s that boy doing?” He asks, changing the grime subject at hand.

“Better. He’s awake now. Surgery done. A few more weeks and he can get out,” you reply, closing your eyes in a sleepy manner. “I need to update his records for him.” You don’t really mean it, but he takes it as a cue to go.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Hoseok says, standing up. “You’ll be done before lunch period, right?”

“I hope so,” you say, glad you can be left to your own presence but wishing Hoseok would stay all at the same time.

“I’ll see you then,” he says, giving you that warm smile he always gives you before he’s closing the door behind him. You leave the coffee cup by your desk. You don’t drink from it, but you can’t bring yourself to throw it away.

“What do you want in life?” Taehyung asks, bouncing a ball against your ceiling. You’re lying on the surface of your dorm bed, barely fitting both of you on.

“That’s a weird question,” you mutter, rearranging your textbook around. You were meant to be studying for an upcoming exam, but he always distracted you.

He laughs at your response and bounces the ball again, catching it before it could land on his face. “Maybe it is.”

“Why do you ask?” You say, trying to talk with him and simultaneously read the words on the page. It wasn’t working.

He doesn’t answer right away. “I’ve just been thinking a lot.”

“About?” You egged on.

“The future,” he answers. You perk up and flip the textbook shut. He smiles as he watches you toss it on the floor and roll around the bed to get yourself comfortable. “You haven’t answered. What do you want in life?”

“To become a doctor, obviously.” His tongue clicks and you chuckle. “What’s wrong with that?” You ask, sitting up to look at him, still laughing.

“I mean, outside this whole medical thing.”

You frown, unable to conjure a response because being a doctor was all you ever dreamt of. “Tell me your answer,” you say, running your fingers through your hair and falling back down onto the bed.

“Love,” he answers back, bouncing the ball again and you freeze.

“What do you mean?” You ask to try and hide your reaction.

“True love,” Taehyung says, sitting up and turning himself around so he’s sitting against the wall. “Like hand holding, forehead kissing, waist hugging kind of love. I’ve never had that.”

“Really?” You lean on your elbow so you’re making eye contact with him, maybe to see if he was lying.

He laughs. “Is that surprising? Am I that handsome?”

You roll your eyes and smile. “You just seemed like a playboy,” you answer and he frowns.

“Is that a compliment, or…?” Your hand creeps behind you to grab your pillow and you slam the side of his face with it. “Ow!”

His eyes are screwed shut in exaggerated agony and his hands go to nurse the spot on his head. Laughter oozes out of you and you have to hold the sides of your stomach to ease the pleasant pain. Taehyung is the only person you’re this comfortable with.

Suddenly, his hand grabs for the pillow that you had been holding lightly between your fingers and attacks you with it.

Soon enough, the room is filled with laughter and screams. “Stop, stop, stop!” You say, spacing each word out with a giggle. He hits you several more times before finally lifting the pillow away from you.

You stare up at him, and he is such a view. His warm eyes are crinkled and his bright grin is wide as he kneels over you, pillow still in hand.

Taehyung throws the pillow back down onto you and you continue your uncontrollable laughter. You don’t even realise his weight had shifted on you and his body was on top of yours until he pulls the pillow back and drops it from his fingertips, falling down to the carpet below.

Then you’re looking at him and he’s looking at you.

You can never get enough of looking at him, or feeling him, or smelling him. His hands cage around your head and lower body aligns on top of yours, an overwhelming urge to kiss him washing over you. His face was so close to yours that you could feel the warmth emitting from him.

He falls back down on his back next to you, and you realise he hadn’t kissed you. Your vision stays glued to a corner of your ceiling because you can’t seem to move your eyes yourself. Silence.

“Life is complicated,” Taehyung finally says. You exhale, closing your eyes.

“It is,” you say, and he has no idea how much you mean it.

“You think our wishes will come true?”

It takes you a second to remember what he was talking about.

“We’ll never know until we get it,” you answer back because it’s the truth. Your heart bounced around in your chest, because the sinking realisation that he didn’t even consider you as somebody to fulfill his wish for him sets in.

“You’re never wrong, Doctor Brain.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him. “Doctor Brain?”

“You are what you follow,” Taehyung answers and you start laughing.

“Alright. When you become a doctor, you’ll be Doctor Heart,” you reply, your voice oozing with sap at the last word and it’s his turn to laugh.

“You know, that’s not a bad name.”

A month later, he tells you he’s leaving.

You are not a morning person, which is the reason why your lunch everyday was always subpar. A piece of slightly-melt cheese between two pieces of stale bread was definitely not an ideal meal, but you never saw it is a priority.

Hoseok enters the lunch room, and a few people stop what they’re doing to look at him. You don’t know if he knows how many girls at the hospital like him, even as they giggle to each other with hushed whispers whenever he walks by, but you assume he doesn’t. He takes the seat at your table and pulls out his lunch.

“Afternoon,” you greet him and he sends you a smile.

“Afternoon,” he repeats, revealing to you the mashed potatoes and chicken breast he was about to dig into. “Want a piece?” He asks as he stands up.

“No thanks,” you say because you don’t want to burden him more than you probably already do. He returns a few seconds later with two pieces of cutlery, handing you a fork and knife without words. “You didn’t have to,” you say as you cut yourself a piece of the chicken, the meat falling onto your fork and melting in your mouth.

“It’s not a problem, Y/N, you know that,” Hoseok says, his mouth stuffed with mashed potatoes. You smile down, but not before you take note how cute he looks with his cheeks sticking out like that.

“Oh, come on!”

You both turn to look at the man behind Hoseok. He’s a colleague you’ve never exchanged words with, somebody who doesn’t work in the intensive care unit like you. His eyes are glued to the overhead fuzzy TV showing a basketball game, standing up with a crabby expression painting his face.

“What is it with men and sport?” You ask, placing your cutlery down to take a bite of your sandwich. Hoseok continues to watch the man in amusement, before turning back to you and shrugging.

“It gets the blood going, I suppose,” he says, picking up more mashed potato on his fork. You turn your attention to the TV screen too. “In my opinion, there’s other things that do that for you, like alcohol, music, women–”

Your eyes flick from the TV and land on the window to the hallway. A figure walks past and you swear–it’s him.

“Y/N?”

Hoseok’s voice is drowned out with a ringing in your eyes and the deafening thumps of your heart. He stands in front of the window, talking to somebody out of view. The glass is slightly frosted, so you can’t be sure, but it’s clear to make out enough about the person’s side view, and you’re just certain it’s him.

“Y/N? Where are you going?” Hoseok’s asking you but you can’t answer because you’re already out of your seat and out the door.

You crash against the door to swing it open, and you’re left in the empty corridors of the hospital. Where is he? You couldn’t have imagined that. Why now? Out of all the times he’s come to your mind, why would you imagine him now? It must have been real.

You run to your left, the sound of your feet echoing throughout the white corridors. You hear Hoseok call after you, but this was too important to turn back to him. You can’t let him go. Not now, not ever again. Where was he?

You turn to a corner, and almost crash into a colleague making her way to the lunchroom. “Sorry!” You say, already running again. Where was he?

Your knees ache and your lungs feel like they were going to give out, but you don’t stop. You decide to take a turn towards the main entrance, but he’s not there either. A few people are in the waiting room, and their eyes fall on you in confusion and worry.

You pay little attention as you practically fall onto the receptionist’s desk. She’s on the phone and your sudden presence startles her. “I’m gonna have to call you back,” she says, placing the phone down. “Hey, what’s the issue–”

“Is there a Kim Taehyung here?” You interrupt.

She looks taken back, slightly winded when she answers. “Um, I’m not sure–”

“He’s tall, dark hair, brown eyes–” Her expression stays blank so you stop describing him. “Just–just check the system! Please! Kim Taehyung! K-I-M–”

“Y/N?”

The receptionist’s confused eyes leave yours and flick towards the figure behind you. You stay frozen in your position. You want to move, you need to, but you can’t find yourself to do it.

Then you finally do, and you’re looking at his face.

“Tae…” It comes out as a whisper.

He was just as breathtaking as you’ve always remembered him. His eyes are warm and the same shade of brown you’ve always imagined them in your dreams. His smile twitches as he’s staring right into you, and all you want to do is melt into him.

Before you know what’s happening, he’s hugging you close to him.

You haven’t felt his body for such a long time. Almost five years. Even so, you relax and fall into his touch. It’s so familiar to you, like returning to your childhood home. A wave of nostalgia, happiness, and a tinge of regret hits your body all at once, like whiplash on a ride.

You momentarily close your eyes to indulge in his smell, his warmth, his body against yours, his breath hitting your skin. Then, he’s pulling you back.

“Wow,” is all he says and you agree. Wow. “It’s been…just…forever.” He says, you still in his arms.

“Too long,” you say, and you recognize the slight harshness in your voice. You just reunited, but it doesn’t take long for the anger brewing for years to surface. You push it down immediately. You don’t want to be mad now, while you’re still in his touch and he’s here, right in front of you.

“Too long,” he agrees, looking to the floor and away from you.

Silence. “I–I just, I don’t know where to start,” you say honestly, flabbergasted.

He laughs, letting go of you and rubbing the back of his head.”Me neither.”

There’s a longer pause, and that’s when you hear the receptionist clear her throat. You remember her presence, suddenly embarrassed with the exchange she witnessed.

“Let’s–catch up. Somewhere else,” you say and he nods.

“Lead the way, Doctor Brain.”

It initiates a fire in your inner insides and you almost can’t move. “Right away, Doctor Heart.” He laughs, and as ridiculous as it sounds, you find yourself holding back the subtle tears forming in your eyes.

You sit in the hospital cafe. He orders for you, English Breakfast tea with milk and a hint of sugar. You tell him thank you but don’t ask how he remembers your preferences so well, even after years.

“Let’s start with you first,” Taehyung says, holding his cup of Americano between his fingers. “What’s been going on?”

You smile, playing with the handle of your cup. “Really, nothing much.”

“Oh, come on.” He chuckles and you follow. “I see you’ve become a doctor, that’s something” he says, giving an up and down look at your uniform and I.D. lanyard around your neck.

“That’s right,” you say, suddenly self conscious underneath his gaze. “I finished school, got my license, and moved to the city. I started working here about a year ago.”

You don’t think it’s that interesting, but Taehyung gives you his full attention, catching each syllable that leaves your mouth. He’s always been like that; listening to you and your problems so intently. You didn’t have people like that in your life often, so you welcomed him into your life with open arms. Maybe that was your first mistake.

“What about you?” You ask him, taking a sip of your tea when it cooled down a bit. He’s always been the unpredictable one, so you were looking forward to hear his side.

“It’s a long story,” he says, like you knew he would. “I got my license, probably same time as you did.”

You don’t think he notices, but his words make a sting run down your spine and your hands to clamp up. You remember graduation day, where he should have been next to you, getting his diploma with you, celebrating and crying and hugging because you’re finally done, but he wasn’t. He was doing the exact same thing as you, but miles apart, and it didn’t feel right.

“I didn’t become a doctor right away,” he continues and you furrow your eyebrows. “This is going to sound stupid…but I was just searching for something.”

You frown even more. “Searching for something?” You repeat. He laughs.

“Now that I hear it from someone else’s mouth, it does sound stupid.”

He always does this, discrediting his own feelings, and you recognize it right away. “It’s not stupid. It’s just…a bit vague.”

He smiles down at his cup for a few seconds. “I didn’t want to become a doctor, and it probably sounds so dumb considering I went to school for eight fucking years–”

“It’s not,” you say because you knew if you didn’t reassure him, he would never believe it himself.

He pauses before he continues. “That year, after graduation, I just did some odd-end jobs to pay the rent. An apartment in the city is expensive, and I know I could have payed for it easily, but I just couldn’t bring myself to doing it.”

“Why not?” You ask. It seemed like an easy solution to the problem; become a doctor and earn enough money to buy anything you would want, but you knew first-hand that things weren’t that simple.

“I–I don’t know. I just couldn’t,” Taehyung says, and he hasn’t touched his coffee for a while. “Then, I snapped back to my senses before my landlord could kick me out. And, here I am.”

Realisation sinks in. “You’re going to work here?” You question, your heart rate racing.

“Yeah, soon. I just finished my tour shortly before I ran into you.”

“That’s–”

Wonderful? So wonderful you feel tears prickling in your eyes at the thought of finally having him with you after all these years? Terrifying? A really bad mistake because you’ve never forgotten about him since the day he left and having him around would mean you will never get over him? A joke? All a cruel trick played on you to make sure you would never find love if he’s always around you, infecting every thought that passes you?

“–Exciting. What are you working as?”

“A cardiovascular surgeon,” he answers and you feel your heart drop in your ribcage. “I chose it in my second year of school. They told me there weren’t enough here, so that’s probably why they hired me so fast.”

“That’s–crazy. So am I.”

His face remains blank for a few seconds as he stares at you, then your I.D. card, then back at you.

“Wow, this day really is something,” he says, breaking out into laughter.

“It really is,” you agree. You’re not exactly sure why you laugh with him, or exactly what you’re feeling. Is it a mixture of relief and regret, or is one feeling stronger than the other?

Looking back at it, you should have ever even ran after him. It just showed how much you were still hung up on him, and now you just looked desperate. God, you were so stupid sometimes.

“I guess I’m really becoming Doctor Heart now that I’m a heart surgeon,” Taehyung says, stretching his arms to the side and stretching the word ‘heart’ out. He breaks you out of your thoughts and you immediately giggle.

“I should have become a brain surgeon, then,” you comment, making him chuckle.

“You’re right, Doctor Brain. You’re not taking after your title.” Your laughter dies down and he checks the watch around his wrist. “I should get going. I’m sure you must be busy.”

You check the clock above him and nod, finishing your tea. “My shift just started. Thanks for the drink, Taehyung.”

He’s standing up and straightening up his casual clothes, coffee still in hand. “It’s really, really great to see you again, Y/N,” Taehyung says, circling around the table to stand in front of you. He takes your hands in his, hopefully missing how they’re shaking slightly. He hugs you quickly and your breath halts. You calm yourself down, for the sake of him and to stop embarrassing yourself, and hug him back.

“I guess we’ll be seeing each other a lot now,” you say as he pulls away.

“I guess so,” he replied, shaking his feet around. Neither of you make it clear if that’s more of a bad or good thing.

“I can walk you out,” you offer.

“It’s really fine, you have to get back to work,” Taehyung says and you’re disappointed. “This hospital needs you right now.”

You laugh, hitting his shoulder. “I’m a heart surgeon, not a superhero.” He laughs.

“You might as well be,” he says with amusement. Then, there’s another silence. “I’ll see you soon, Y/N.”

You simply smile and watch as his figure leaves.

Your car keys jingle in your hands and your steps echo in the parking lot. You had no new patients today, which in your ward is considered a miracle. And even better, you had a day off tomorrow.

It was your first day off in a while, most probably because of Taehyung being hired to take some of your shifts.

Taehyung. Your mind went blurry when you thought of him. Earlier today, you had to splash water on your face just to make sure you really did see him.

Even after five years, your heart still did the same somersaults when it came to him, and it scared you that a person could have that much power over your emotions. You really did love him during school. But were you still in love with him now? You told yourself for years that you moved on; yet seeing him in front of you, touching him, hearing his voice, you weren’t so sure.

“Y/N!”

You turn around to Hoseok’s voice, and suddenly you remember how you ditched him during lunch, making your stomach turn and your head to cloud with guilt. He was still wearing his work clothes and was hurriedly rushing after you.

“Where did you go today?” He asks as he catches up to you, slightly panting.

“I’m so sorry, Hoseok! I–I’m really sorry. I probably looked like a mess,” you say, unable to think of a good excuse.

“It’s fine! I just–” Hoseok gives you a smile and it doesn’t help make you feel better about yourself. “I just wanted to know what made you run so fast. I didn’t take you as sporty.”

You let out a little laugh, enough to make Hoseok sure you were comfortable again. “What makes you say that?” He doesn’t answer, making you both laugh and you realise you can’t lie to Hoseok now. “It’s just–I saw somebody today.”

Hoseok narrows his eyes at your words. “Is this somebody…a real person?”

Your hand goes to cover your mouth as you start laughing again. You really underestimated how quickly Hoseok could make you at ease sometimes. “I swear! I saw him outside in the window and when I came out, he was gone. I had to catch up to him to make sure I wasn’t crazy,” you chuckle.

Hoseok pauses. “Him?”

Shit. Backtrack, backtrack, backtrack. “He’s an old friend! We sat next to each other during medical school.” Hopefully he didn’t sense how your words came out a little too fast.

He immediately relaxes, but you feel as though he didn’t want you to notice. “Oh, you have to introduce me to him someday.”

Should you say anything? “He’s going to work here, actually.” You decide in the moment not to mention that he’s going to work in the same ward as you.

“Even better,” Hoseok replies, his face staying still as he said so.

A pause. “You should get back to work,” you say as you reach to pull a piece of stray hair behind your ear. You notice how Hoseok’s eyes follow your movement.

“You’re right. I hear people’s skin in distress and they need me,” he says, shooting you a grin as you chuckle. “See you later!” He waves to you as he makes his way back to the building, giving you a one-look over before he’s gone.

The loud thumps overhead almost blurred out everything that was happening. You stumble around, feeling no control over where your legs were going as you searched for his face.

You and Taehyung had been downing hard alcohol down your throats thirty minutes ago, but you only realise now that he had disappeared somewhere. Your body attempts to navigate itself past the crowds of people whose faces become a blur to your lidded eyes, and at some point you remember this is why you don’t go to frat parties.

“Tae,” you yell out in the noise and even you can hear the alcohol dripping in your tone. “Taehyungie!”

To no avail, all the faces around you remained unrecognizable. Where was he?

Suddenly, you feel an arm wrap itself around the constraints of your waist and you turn around in delight. Your smile fades when you see it’s not Taehyung, but a stranger.

“Who’s this Tae guy?” He says, gripping your waist closer to his.

“You’re not him,” you slur and push against his chest feebly to get away. The smell of this stranger slowly intoxicated your nose, making it hard to breath.

“I can be whoever you want me to be, baby,” he whispers, leaning into your ear and you feel a shudder run down your spine.

“Get–away,” you try again but his hand left burn prints on your skin, trapping you. “Stop–”

“Hey man, get your hands off of her.”

Both you and the man turn towards Taehyung. His hair was ruffled and dark circles decorated the under of his eyes, but his stare. It was sharp and narrow, like a blade. His eyes swam over you and fell on the man, and then his hand on you.

“Oh sorry dude. This your girl?” He says, loosening his grip on you and you stumble back at the sudden loss of support.

“She’s nobody’s girl. Get as far away as possible before I do something,” Taehyung says, reaching out to grab your wrist to wheel you over next to him. His fingers felt calloused and familiar in a sea of unfamiliar, instantly bringing you an immense feeling of relief.

The man scoffs at Taehyung and shoots you one last look before making his way through the crowd away from you two.

“I have great timing, don’t I?” Taehyung says, draping his arm around you and leading you away to somewhere more quiet.

“You didn’t have to fight him,” you say. “I could have done that myself.”

“I know. I just wanted to fight him myself.” he replies, meeting your glassy gaze with his chocolate eyes. “Plus, you’re more drunk than me.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. I could probably throw better punches than when I’m sober,” you say, making him laugh as he settles the both of you in a solitary corner where little noise and strange men could interfere.

“Sorry,” he says, letting his arm drop from his hold on you and looking down at the floor. “I didn’t mean to leave you like that.”

“Where did you go?” You ask him, digging the tips of your fingers into your forehead in attempts to bring down your throbbing headache.

“If I’m going to be honest–” He pauses and you glance up at him. “I was throwing up. Big. Time.”

You start laughing and it becomes uncontrollable once Taehyung joins. “I knew you didn’t drink,” you say when the laughter finally died down.

“Okay, okay. My secret is out,” he says, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes.

“This is why pre med students don’t go to parties,” you say, leaning back as well. “At least you don’t smell like vomit.”

He lets out another chuckle, and with his eyes closed it gives you a perfect opportunity to look at him without shame. He was just stunning. His eyelashes were dark and tickled his honey skin, and his normal fringe was parted, allowing exposure of his forehead. His lips part when he laughs, and you think to yourself how plush they would be.

“That’s always good to hear,” Taehyung says and peels his eyes open, making you look away. “I can’t get too many girls with vomit breathe.”

You don’t laugh at his joke and he swiftly notices. “Let’s get back to our dorms,” you say and he nods in agreement. “This party sucks.”

“It does, but your company doesn’t,” he says as he pushes himself off the wall and holds your hand in his, escorting you out.

He doesn’t see how your cheeks flush, and not because of the liquor in your system or the stuffiness in the room.

He leads you out of the building and to your dorm under the night light.

“The stars are beautiful,” he comments, draping his coat over you. You look up and see a deep navy sky littered with bright white.

“Wow,” you say involuntary, your neck craning to get a bigger view. This night was one of the most beautiful nights you’ve ever witnessed. Maybe because of the night, or maybe because of him.

“I’m glad we met, Y/N,” he suddenly says but you don’t see the impact of his words above the alcohol clouding your head.

“Me too, Tae.”

He hugs you close to him when you arrive in front of your dorm, telling you to keep his coat for now. His fingers wrap themselves around the skin of your waist, but this time you welcome the touch. His warm breath hits the skin of your neck and it makes the hair on your nape to stand up in pleasure.

As he slips away and tells you to sleep well, you decide you’re going to tell him you love him soon.

A week later, he tells you he’s leaving.

There’s a knock on your door again and you stretch your arms out at the sudden intrusion, hearing a crack as you do so.

“Come in,” you say. You weren’t really in the mood for coffee or for talking right now, but you could never turn Hoseok away.

The door swings open and you see, instead Taehyung, standing in the doorway. Your eyes widen as they meet his.

It’s your first time in years seeing him in a doctor’s coat, and you feel your heart speed up at the sight. His skin looked so deep and honey-colored, even when there was no sunlight hitting it. His chestnut hair was draped over his forehead and eyebrows and bounced a little as he turned behind him to close the door.

“Hey. The receptionist said your office was here,” Taehyung explains, a timid smile painting his face, deciding to brush off your look of surprise.

“Right, hey,” you say, nodding and gripping the surface of your desk to bring your chair closer. The air remains silent for a while, both of you awkwardly shuffling around to preoccupy the wordless conversation. “So, how’s it going?” You ask, your stomach clenching at your awkward filler.

“It’s going good,” he replies, scratching the hair behind his head uncomfortably. “Can I sit?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” you say, moving a few knicks and knacks lying around on your desk to the side. He gives you another smile before plopping himself down opposite you. “So, what’s up?”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see you–see what’s up with Doctor Brain.”

You hold back a chuckle, his words stirring something in the pits of your stomach. “You’re always welcome,” you say, finally glancing towards his face and he’s staring at you. “How has work been so far?”

“It’s been a peaceful week or so,” he responds and it makes you smile.

“That’s great to hear,” you say, and then neither of you know what to say next.

“Y/N–” Taehyung says, then stops.

Your eyebrows rise up at the sudden seriousness within the room, and you realise this conversation was going to go beyond awkward small talk.

“Sorry,” he says, looking down at the floor. “I actually came here for a reason, you know, besides just…talking.”

The anticipation of his words makes your head slightly light and you find yourself rubbing your palms against the fabric of your pants to rid of the sweat. Your mind goes through hundred different places in mere seconds on what he could be saying right now. ��Uh, sure. What’s on your mind?”

“I just wanted to say–I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” You repeat his words, the silence in the room starting to make your ears hurt. “For what?”

“I’m sorry I left,” Taehyung says almost too quickly, like he was releasing air from a balloon. Neither of you say anything for a few seconds. “I know it must have–hurt you.”

You realise your eyes had not been blinking for the last minute so you break eye contact with him to stare at the floor. “It really wasn’t–that terrible,” you lie, stomach dropping when the words that came out of your mouth processes through your mind.

Taehyung’s face wears a mask of feigned calmness, but you see past it at how his eyes widen and his pink lips part. “Oh,” he says, fidgeting with the handles of the chair. “Oh, well–that’s–that’s relieving to hear.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you say in hopes of taking back your earlier statement. “I meant–I mean–it did hurt.” You pause, watching how his eyes dart around your face nervously, hanging onto every word. You must have sounded like an idiot. “What I’m trying to say is, don’t beat yourself up.”

He begins to fidget with his fingers, no longer looking at you. “I’ve just felt like an absolute asshole for years.”

“You’re not,” you reassure him with a smile that makes it difficult for him to return it. “Because–I don’t regret our relationship. Even if you did…leave.”

Wow, that felt weird to say. You’ve kept these feelings brewing inside your head for years, making you think back of all the times you’ve rehearsed saying them in front of your mirror, as if you were going to see him again. You had felt stupid and naive back then. But here you are. And there he is.

“Well,” he says after a while and you see how he’s holding back his expression of relief. “I don’t regret anything either. I just wish…I didn’t–”

“Y/N.”

You both hear the voice from behind the closed door, and as it swings open, you’re met with Hoseok’s cheery face that slowly fades as his eyes settle on Taehyung.

A silence.

“Uh, hey–Hoseok,” you finally say, making the both of them look at you. “Um–Hoseok, this is Taehyung, my friend.”

Hoseok takes a while to remove his eyes from you and to Taehyung. You notice his hand and crook of an elbow are occupied with two cups of coffee, as usual.

As if the trance that fell over him had suddenly worn off, Hoseok rushes over to Taehyung’s side, placing a cup on the table and extending his free hand out to him.

“Hey, really good to meet you! I hear you’re a good friend of Y/N’s.”

Taehyung gives him a nervous smile as he takes his hand. “Yeah, it’s a pleasure.”

“Sorry, I would have gotten you another cup if I would have known you were here,” Hoseok says, and for some reason it sounds cold to you, so unlike Hoseok.

“It’s perfectly fine,” Taehyung replies, anxiously glancing at you for a second.

Yet another silence. “Are you two…in the middle of something important?” Hoseok asks, switching his gaze between you and him.

It’s your time to speak up. “Oh, no, it’s fine. Taehyung was actually–about to leave.”

Hoseok’s gaze settles on Taehyung but you see he’s still looking at you, almost like he was trying to send you some sign. Your eyebrow raises as you return his stare, indicating he should go before this gets any worse.

“Right, I was,” Taehyung says to your relief and standing up from his sitting position.

“Well then, I’ll see you around,” Hoseok says to him as he begins making his way out.

“Yeah, me too man,” Taehyung responds quietly, returning Hoseok’s friendly smile but shooting you one last look as he turns away. He shuts the door behind him, engulfing you and Hoseok alone in a sudden silence.

“Did something happen before I got here?” Hoseok questions, making you snap to his gaze.

“What? What do you mean?”

“Nothing, he just seemed a bit…weird.”

Your mind rattles to find what to say. “He’s just…shy.”

Hoseok nods and you feel as though he doesn’t believe you. “Well, I’ll get going. You seem kind of busy right now.”

You weren’t doing anything, so you knew he wasn’t leaving because of that reason. “No, it’s really fine Hoseok–”

“I actually have a patient now. I gotta go,” Hoseok says but his soft expression doesn’t falter as his ice cold words pierce through you. You knew he was lying but you didn’t know why he was acting like this. Was this really all because of Taehyung? Nothing had even happened.

“Uh–okay,” you say, deciding to not push it further. “Thanks for the coffee. Again.”

“It’s on me,” he says with a slight smile so you’re sure he hadn’t completely changed. “Let’s talk later. Maybe a discussion on weekend plans?”

You can’t help but feel amused. He was really trying to hit it with you right now. “We’ll see.”

“That’s the closest answer to a ‘yes’ I’ve ever got,” he says and both of you let out a laugh. “See you later, Y/N.”

“Bye, Hoseok.”

You linger in the silence once he leaves, and it gives you an opportunity for you to think about your conversation with Taehyung. He said he was sorry. Were you relieved? Those were the words you’ve been waiting for for years, but for some reason you didn’t feel at ease.

You exhale deeply and slide the cup of coffee Hoseok brought you closer to you, before throwing it into the bin.

You sit in the lunchroom, almost empty besides two or three other people. You dread opening your lunch box, instead playing the edges and sliding it across the table. Your eyes scan the room one last time before you feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

I have a patient right now, can’t make it to lunch. -Hoseok

You groan, resting your head on your folded arms. You were hoping to share Hoseok’s lunch again, knowing how much effort he put into his meals.

Your nose is filled with the smell of bread and microwave when you click your lunchbox open. Holding a piece between your fingers, you take an unenthusiastic bite, swallowing it slowly.

Somebody pulls a chair from your table out, taking a seat. You snap your head up to look at the stranger, when you realise it’s Taehyung.

“Oh, hey,” you say, putting your sandwich down into your lunch box and dusting off the crumbs on your fingers. Your heartbeat speeds up and you find yourself clenching your body nervously.

“You always look shocked when you see me,” Taehyung says, his body facing you and slinging his arm over the chair. You hold back a sigh at how he looks at you, a smirk tugging at his lips and an eyebrow up.

“You just don’t feel real sometimes,” you joke but you’re honest. Seeing him now seems like the dream you’ve occasionally thought of when you’re alone or daydreaming and your mind goes to places. He felt like he was part of your imagination, and he might as well be.

“Whatcha eating there?” He asks, leaning forward to look over your abandoned sandwich missing a piece at the edge as his face distorts into subtle disgust. You notice how he doesn’t follow up on your earlier comment.

“A cheese sandwich,” you answer. “And it is not even that bad.”

“Why does it look so soggy?”

“Listen, I was in a rush–”

He laughs, throwing his head back and you stare at the skin of his neck. You felt like the same girl you were back in medical school, giggly and head over heels in love. It’s been years, and he shouldn’t be this alluring to you anymore, but he is.

“Let’s get out of here, then,” he suggests and you quirk an eyebrow.

“…Where?”

“Anywhere but here. Preferably somewhere that doesn’t smell like stale bread,” Taehyung replies, his answers always vague. “Quick!”

He grabs your wrist, dragging you out of your chair before you could even get up and making you almost trip. You giggle at the commotion.

“Taehyung, my stuff–”

“We have better priorities, Y/N!”

You giggle again, avoiding the curious stares thrown at you as he drags you out of the room and leads you along the white walls of the corridors that seemed almost endless with him in front of you.

“Where are you going?” You ask through pants. He looks back at you, a grin across his face, and then he’s turning back without an answer. You bloom into a smile. It reminds you so much of how you two used to be, and you would be lying if you didn’t say you were happiest back then. Happier than you had been before, and happier than you have been for the past five years.

He rushes you past the main entrance and past the waiting room and past the offices, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist and your eyes digging into his figure.

“Taehyung!” You call out.

“Just wait!” He replies, making you roll your eyes.

“Are you sure your shift–”

He hauls a door open before grabbing your shoulders and shoving you into the room. You let out a squeak of surprise, and he’s already joining you and closing the door behind, almost stumbling over a mop resting against the wall.

“Why the hell are we in the janitor’s room?” You ask in slight disbelief, placing your hand on your hip.

“Don’t judge so quick,” he replied, pushing past you and towards the shelf of supplies. You’re still confused, watching him pull out a sealed cardboard box from the shelf and plop it onto the floor. “You got something sharp?”

You scan the surroundings before looking down at yourself. “I have a pen,” you say, pulling out your pen from the pocket of your coat.

He takes it from your hands, fingers brushing over yours and making your heart leap. Taehyung presses the top of the pen and stabs the the plastic sealing the opening of the box with the tip. You hear a ‘pop’ and then the sound of tearing.

After a few more moments of fumbling and pulling the plastic off, Taehyung opens the cardboard box to reveal an array of store bought snacks. The wrapping of red and yellow and blue and green burst into the grayscale room, making you erupt into a grin.

“Treat yourself,” he says, pulling out a packet of salt chips for himself and taking a seat down on a storage box in front of the shelf.

“Wow,” you say, bending down to pick up a chocolate bar. “Where did you get this from?”

“My late night shifts at work have a lot of disadvantages,” he says as he rips the packet open. “But it did let me get to know one of the janitors.”

“And I should be thanking him for this?” You ask as the sweet chocolate infiltrates your taste buds, replacing the taste of stale bread and unmelted cheese.

“Just for the storage,” he replies and the crunch of chips in his mouth makes you turn towards him. “I bought everything, on the house.”

“Well, thank you,” you say, staring at your feet and letting the chocolate melt on your tongue.

“Keep it a secret though. This is meant for just you and me,” Taehyung says, glancing up at you through hooded lids and you can barely return the eye contact.

“I like this exclusive club we have going on here,” you comment, taking another bite.

Suddenly, he’s dusting off the salt and crumbs on his hands and standing up. He begins walking towards you and encases you in his arms. You’re slow to react, even as he indulges himself in your neck. Your hands push against him, and it doesn’t take much for him to back off.

“It’s too soon, Taehyung.”

His expression is a mix of hurt and confused, and it makes you regret pushing him off. That is before you remind yourself how hard you fell for him years ago, and how much you can’t go back to that.

“Sorry,” he says, bowing his head to the floor and taking a few steps away from you. “I’m really sorry Y/N–”

“It’s fine,” you interrupt him. You know how he gets when he feels guilty; like the words ‘I’m sorry’ is all he’s ever known. You’ve experienced it plenty of times before, but never like this. Never so gut wrenching and heart twisting. “My lunch break just ended,” you say to fill the silence and get out.

He just nods. His silence over his usual bouncy self never failed to make your heart ache.

“Let’s do this again, tomorrow,” you tell him to reassure him everything was fine.

That was the problem with Taehyung. He never thought with his mind, just his heart. You know he thinks you pushing him off meant you didn’t want him to touch you like that, but only you knew it was because you couldn’t bring yourself to loving him again.

“Yeah, of course,” he says a bit too timidly, still feeling insecure about the incident.

“Let me grab one last bar before I go,” you say as he lifts the box up from the floor and you scavenge the contents. You pick up another piece of chocolate.

“I don’t remember you as a chocolate lover,” he says, turning back to you as he stacks the box back up on the top shelf. His shoulders seem to relax, as if he snaps himself out of his state.

“Seasons change,” you say smiling.

“You don’t,” Taehyung answers, walking past you and opening the door before giving you that smirk he always gives you.

You both walk out into the open again, the white walls contrasting against the gray ones and it makes your eyes hurt for the first few seconds.

“I’ll see you around, Y/N” he says, rubbing the back of his head and making his hair dance around.

“Yeah,” you say, hiding your hands in the pockets of your coat. “Maybe we’ll operate together.”

He gives you a crooked smile. “Sounds like fun.”

Your fingers tremble as you hold the envelope in your hands. Somebody bumps into you and murmurs an apology, almost making you drop it.

You were standing in the middle of a crowd of students, recently released from their last class of the year. A busy noise filled the bustling corridor, but all you could hear was your heart in your ears, pumping quicker and quicker by the second.

“Y/N!”

You turn around and spot Taehyung’s head, seemingly drowning in the sea of people. You bloom into a smile and all your nervous energy seems to dissipate for a second. He makes his way towards you with some difficulty, the same cardboard colored envelope between his fingers and a anxious smile across his face.

“You didn’t read it, did you?” You ask.

“No, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Right,” he says, releasing a deep sigh. “On one. Three, two, one.”

Both of you pull the piece of paper out of the envelope at the same time and your eyes dart to the bottom of the page, your hands shaky and your mind blank.

You pull the piece of paper away from your face to look at Taehyung, and he does the same.

“You first,” you say.

“93%.”

You squeal, wrapping your arms around his neck and he reciprocates by holding your waist close to his body. “That’s amazing, Tae.”

“Okay, your turn.” He says, but notices how your smile falters as he pulls away. “Oh, come on. I’m sure you did incredible. Don’t be embarrassed–”

“94%.”

“Okay, I see how it is,” he says, grinning and hugging you again, making you giggle into the crook of his neck. The corridor had cleared, leaving maybe half a dozen people with you and Taehyung left. “We need to celebrate,” he says, intertwining his fingers in yours.

“Right,” you say, your cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “To another year!”

Your heart speeds up considerably, and this time it has nothing to do with your end reports.

Today. You were going to tell him. Hey, Taehyung. It’s me, Y/N. So…I’ve got something to tell you. But you needed to get to the point.

Taehyung! There’s something you should know, right now! But that was too forward.

Tae, I need to tell you something that’s on my mind lately. Actually, it’s been on my mind ever since the day we met. I love–

“Y/N.”

His voice snaps you out of your daydream. All the humor and relief had washed off his face, replaced with a tone of seriousness that you often don’t see.

“I have something to tell you.”

You both stop in your tracks and turn to face each other. Your mouth parts as you stare into his eyes, all the organs in your body seemingly momentarily ceases to function.

Was he–was he going to confess?

Were you really not as crazy as you always thought when you thought his gaze on you lingered a bit too long? When his fingers brush over yours? When he swims in your eyes and holds your hands in his?

“Yes?” You ask, your focus entirely on Taehyung and everything about him. His mouth, his eyes, his hair, his neck. Your fingers tremble, forcing you to hold onto the material of your sleeves as you await his words.

“I’m leaving.”

Ringing. It’s deafening in your ears but you’re sure only you can hear it.

Beating. Your heart stops to beat.

And blurry. You don’t know why you suddenly can’t see but you soon realise it’s the tears that clouded your vision.

“You’re…what?”

“I’m moving.”

There’s silence, but you can’t bear it. You want to speak, you want to know why and where and how and for who but you can’t form words.

“I’m moving to the big city,–and I’m gonna continue my studies over there.”

“I–”

“I’m sorry. I meant to tell you a month ago, but I’ve always been too scared. I didn’t mean to spring it this up on you, and today of all days–”

“But–”

“Y/N, I’m really sorry. Please stop crying.”

“Tae–”

“Listen, let’s forget about this. We just finished our first year! Let’s get some drinks! Maybe some English Breakfast, your favourite! Or explore the town one last time–”

“One last time?” You finally say as tears roll down your cheeks. “Why, Tae? Why did you have to do this–”

“I’m sorry! I already told you that I am!” He yells, his eyebrows creasing and his voice getting louder and aggressive, making a few heads turn around.

“Why–”

“There’s nothing for me here!” He shouts, making you flinch and his expression automatically softens at the sight. “Y/N. I’m sorry–”

“Why are you shouting at me?” You whimper.

“Y/N–”

“What the–fuck– is wrong with you?” You suddenly burst out, immense furiosity replacing disbelief, punching his arms and chest with your fist. He puts up his hands in defence. “Why are you leaving me?” You let out a wail.

“I already told you–”

“Stop talking. Stop talking, stop talking, stop talking.” You put your fist down, your other hand still clenching onto the envelope. “Just–shut up.”

“Please Y/N–”

“I can’t look at you anymore. I need to go.” You began to leave; to where, you had no idea, but you just had to get away from him. His fingers are wrapped around your wrist and you wrestle away from his grip.

“Y/N, please. Don’t go just yet. Please, I have one last day here–”

“Spend it with somebody else,” you grumble, hot tears still streaming down as you make your way to the exit.

“Y/N–”

But you’re already gone.

The next day, he leaves you forever.

It was late at night, and you felt as though you were practically drowning in paperwork. You hated yourself for only realising the deadline for these were tomorrow after Hoseok had to remind you, and now you were stuck here way past the end of your shift.

You glance at the clock, and see that it’s only been two minutes since the last time you checked. It’s been awhile since you’ve been in work in these late hours, maybe a month or so.

You look around your office draped in darkness, the only source of light coming from your dull lit desk lamp. Your wooden desk, a small single lounge chair facing you, and the door that so wrongfully opened into your space rather than out. Things like this remind you how you wanted to be an architect when you were in pre-school, and it might have been a bit easier and less scary than this job.

Architects probably didn’t have to worry about losing lives every time they went to work. Unless they were really bad architects and everything they built caved in on its roof.

Why were you thinking about this? You relax back into your chair. It made your back uncomfortable, but you didn’t complain. You rolled your neck around and you hear a crack. Should you be worried? You didn’t know. After all, you were only a heart surgeon.

Your phone starts ringing. It startles you and you scurry to pick it up. Your body freezes as your eyes adjust to the brightness and see the caller I.D. flashing on the screen.

Doctor Heart.

He still had your number saved. And so did you. You could never bring yourself to delete it or change his name when he left, and apparently he had felt the same.

“Hello?” You ask almost precautionary as you pick up. Your heart races dangerously.

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s voice comes through your phone and a shiver runs up your spine.

You hadn’t really seen or spoken him outside of lunch in the janitor’s room. You thought the lack of heart surgeons would mean you would be working side by side all the time, but it actually resulted in you always having different shifts from him.

Now that you were here, hearing him say your name, you realised how much you’ve been aching for this moment ever since that first day you saw him again.

“Taehyung?” You ask, as if you still didn’t have his number still saved. You weren’t making that mistake again.

“Hey, I gotta problem. Are you still here?”

You frown. “The hospital? Yeah, I am.”

“Great. Meet me up on the third floor.” You’re about to say something but he hangs up. You give a deep exhale for nobody but you to hear. He never tells you anything before you’re already knee-deep into the issue, like always.

You take one look at the pile of reports you still had to do before standing up and leaving them to rest untouched on your desk. As much as you hated it, this was so much more important. A few things were more important than Taehyung, even to this day.

You take the elevator up and the silence allows you to wander your mind. Why was he up on the third floor? It was the maternity ward, nowhere close to the intensive care unit, and even you haven’t been up there for more than once. Why would he be at the maternity ward?

The elevator slides open and you step out. The hallway is dark but lights up as you step out. “Taehyung?”

There’s no noise and you suddenly feel terrified at the eerie silence.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grip onto the back of your coat, making you let out a squeal of surprise and horror. You don’t need to turn around when you hear a fit of laughter from behind you, and you kneel down to feel your quick heartbeat.

“Not. Funny,” you say, panting. It makes Taehyung laugh even harder.

“It was kind of funny,” he says as he calms down. “I thought your soul had left your body.”

You chuckle and turn fully towards him, your face painting an expression of amusement. “Okay, jokes aside, I’m here. What did you need me for?”

His smile erupts into a grin. “Follow me,” he says, already starting to walk through the corridors of the ward. You do follow him, observing your unfamiliar surroundings.

“You have business in the maternity ward?” You ask him, your tone oozing with sarcasm.

“My wife went into labor recently.”

You stop. “What?”

He turns back at you and lets out a laugh. “Joking.”

“Okay, good. You’re still young,” you say, rushing so you’re at his side and he chuckles.

“To answer your question, I have no business here, so let’s keep it down. We don’t want to wake up any babies or mothers, and especially any nurses that could get us fired.”

“Right,” you nod, lowering your voice down to a hushed whisper. You almost laugh at how much neither of you had changed. He’s still the same old troublemaker, and for whatever reason, you’re still following him.

You continue walking, all the way to the end of the corridor where all the rooms had stopped and you were left with blank walls and cleaning supplies.

“Where are you going?”

“Just wait,” he says, turning a corner. You’re both left with the door to the roof and you let out a laugh.

“Are you serious?” You ask in disbelief.

“Perfectly so,” Taehyung says, sending you a smirk as he pushes the door open, letting out a gust of strong wind that hits your body and makes you shiver.

He steps out and holds the door for you, waiting for you to walk through. You send him a look, but follow after him anyways.

“What do you think?” He asks.

You’re too busy rubbing your hands against your arms for heat to notice the view. The night was a deep blue, but you could see everything.

The city was still awake, bright lights illuminating the streets and the interior of buildings nearby. Cars were still driving. Everybody still had somewhere to go.

But then, you look up. A deep navy sky littered with bright white.

The night of the party had felt so insignificant compared to every other memory you’ve had with him, but you remember the sky that night with his arm draped over you and his coat over your shoulders.

“Y/N?” Taehyung asks, snapping you out of your trance and you remember his question.

“I love it,” you say, slightly lost for words.

“It really puts things in perspective,” he says, walking closer to the edge.

“Taehyung–You’re not going to–jump–are you?”

He turns around and laughs. “Who do you think I am? First, a husband and father, now suicidal?”

You join in his laughter. “Just–making–sure.”

Taehyung breaks your gaze on him and stares out into the scenery, leaning over the railway.

“I guess it does,” you say, stepping forward so you stand next to him. “Put things in perspective, i mean.”

“Everything becomes so small when you see it from here,” he replies and it’s almost a whisper.

You both linger in the silence that falls over you two, covered by the sound of traffic below and the wind rushing past your ears.

“Y/N.”

You face him as your fingers wrap around the rusty metal of the railway. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

You sigh. “Taehyung–”

“Really, I am.” More silence. “I probably made you feel pretty worthless. And the way I handled it wasn’t the best.”

“It’s in the past,” you say, but your heart burns at his words. “I’m not angry anymore.”

“But it’s not in the past,” he interrupts. “I can still feel it.”

You don’t reply, because he’s right. The tension between the two of you had not settled down over time since he’s entered your life again, and you’re worried it will never leave.

“Please, Y/N. I need to know. What do you really feel?”

You look at him again. “What I feel?”

“About me. About what happened.”

You don’t talk.

“Please. I need to know. It’s been too long.”

You release a deep exhale, closing your eyes and feeling the breeze smack your face. “Well…” you pause, unable to muster up the words despite so many thoughts and feeling swimming around in your head. “I–I was…really hurt.”

His gaze breaks away from you to bow his head to the floor. You didn’t know what he expected you to say. Of course you were hurt. You’re still hurt.

There’s nothing for me here, he had said. You remember that so clearly. It was one of the things you remembered the most. His words rung in your ears when you fell asleep and followed you everywhere you went.

But he was wrong. You were there for him.

“I was angry, but only for a bit,” you continue after a silence had settled over a few seconds. “When I stopped being angry–I was just–sad.” A pause. “I didn’t know why…why you were leaving. I thought–I don’t know what I thought.”

He takes in a deep breath, lingering in the second after. “I was only partly honest that day, you know.”

“What?” You snap your head towards his but he avoids your gaze.

“Well, I was leaving because the city had more opportunities. But I also left–because I couldn’t stand you not–loving me.”

You can’t say anything, even if you had wanted to. The rust of metal on your palms seemed slippery under your touch, and your heart ached.

“What are you talking abo–”

“You didn’t love me,” he repeats but it doesn’t make it any clearer. “I thought–just maybe–you felt the same, but then you never said anything. I just assumed–”

He stops himself, taking in another sigh.

“Sorry, this is a lot to get out,” Taehyung says.

You don’t move because your mind couldn’t process the weight of what he was saying. Did he just–

He speaks again. “I thought that I needed to get away from you so I could stop myself before I fell too deep, but being away made me miss you more. It didn’t make anything easier. I couldn’t even become a doctor when I graduated because it reminded me of you.”

“Tae–”

“I was searching for something, like I told you back in that cafe. I couldn’t find it. Until, now.”

“–Hyung.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally looking at you. “It was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I never want to leave you again.”

“Please–”

“I love you.”

You kiss him.

His lips are plush and his smell is intoxicating, but in all the right ways. Your arms sling around his nape to bring him closer, until his body melt into yours and all you could feel was him. His hands slither around your waist and bruise the skin. His mouth moves so well and fluently against yours, and you think that your mouth was made to kiss his.

You momentarily part to breath, resting your forehead against his.

“I guess this means you love me back,” he whispers.

You release from his clutches and begin smacking his arm, making him release sounds of surprise. “You–are–such–an–idiot!”

Then, he’s laughing and you join. “Was it that obvious?” He asks between pants.

“You’re so stupid. I can’t believe you sometimes,” you say instead of directly answering you before bringing his body back to yours. The two of you stay like that for a while.

“We’re both pretty stupid,” he mumbled, resting his chin on your head and playing with your hair.

“I’ve thought for all those years that you didn’t love me,” you say into the material of his jumper. “You thought that town had nothing for you.”

“That town had everything for me,” he replies. “It had you.”

You can’t help but feel tears roll down your cheek, staining the skin. “I’m so sorry, Tae.”

“You did nothing wrong.”

“I left.”

“You were angry.”

“I didn’t even say a proper goodbye.”

“I wouldn’t have either if I was you,” he continues to counteract and it only makes you grip his body closer to yours.

“You were alone. You must have felt so shitty.”

“I was shitty. A shitty friend who just didn’t know how to love properly.”

“I’ve never regretted anything more than that day,” you admit, looking up at him. “I wish I would have said something, or stayed with you until the end.”

It feels as though you had just breathed out the deepest exhale from the bottom of your lungs all the way up, pushing through your lips. The words you seem to have rehearsed over and over and over again finally left you. The scenarios you’ve played over in your head everywhere you went was happening right now.

“None of that matters, Y/N. You’re here, I’m here. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

He pulls you into another kiss and your heart drops. This was all you’ve ever wanted. All you ever dreamt of. All you’ve ever wished for. It was really happening.

His lips were really against yours. Those words had really left his mouth. His hands were really sliding up and down your body, gripping and rubbing in all the right places, until it meets the curve of your ass.

Taehyung breaks away from the kiss and sighs into your neck. Your eyes are blown wide at the gesture, making your fingers clench around the material on his shoulders. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” he whispers, making shivers run up your spine.

“Tae, not here,” you mumble back, barely able to make your voice loud enough to comprehend.

“Your office then,” he says, arms encasing around your figure and lifting you off the ground. You let out a noise of surprise, holding onto his shoulders even firmer than before and giggling. He carries you back inside before putting you down and grabbing your wrist to run through the corridors together.

Your feet echo throughout the hallway so you both run even faster, suppressing your laughter like you were young again. He kisses you in the elevator and grips your waist as you run back to your office.

He hurries inside before you can and pushes you against the closed door, smashing his lips on you. You react instantly, hooking your leg around his hip and he grabs it, pushing his body flush against yours. The kiss halts for a second as you let out a whimper of a moan, your eyes screwed shut and mouth agape.

“Let it out, baby,” he whispers and you can just tell he’s smirking. You let out another whimper at the nickname.

“Taehyung,” you say as your head lolls backwards, hitting the wood of the door behind you. His name is etched onto your tongue, your mind drunk on his image.

He begins unbuttoning your blouse, almost too slowly. You shiver as your exposed chest meets the harsh breeze of the room, and then you almost collapse as Taehyung reaches out to play with you through your bra.

You’re a mess, panting and rolling your eyes, gripping onto him as if he was your only life support and letting go of him would only mean death. His hand cups over your bra and pulls it down to latch his mouth around and suck lightly. You let out a deep groan, digging your fingers into his scalp and throwing your jerking limps over his body.

He lets go after a few moments, leaving you breathless before his fingers caress your waist, then your hip, then along the skin of your thighs. “Let me touch you,” he says. His eyes are lidded and his head is tilted to the side, staring into you like a predator and making you almost incapable of standing upright.

You don’t hesitate to follow his words, unbuttoning your pants and letting them pool at your feet. You step out of them in your heels and Taehyung practically growls at the sight, pushing you flush against the door again with his body.

His hand reaches down and lightly brushes over you, making you flinch, his index finger creates a rhythm of flicking back and forth against you.

“Tae–”

“Baby,” he grumbles, attacking your neck with his mouth. Your mind was going blurry and if he wasn’t holding you up, you would not be standing.

Suddenly, he removes all contact with you, stepping back and looking you up and down. “Lie down on the desk.”

You can’t say anything even if you wanted to, your hands going to cover your body. His eyes are like fire, as if you could burn yourself if you got too close to the flame. You follow his orders, shuffling things around your desk so you could fit.

Taehyung rushes forward, smirking, shoving and throwing everything off and onto the floor. “Tae–”

“Lie down.”

You close your mouth, feeling your heart rush to your cheeks. You lie down onto the desk, the surface warm against your almost bare back. He grabs your inner thighs to pull apart and you let out a whimper.

“This is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen,” Taehyung says, leaning back to see all of you at once. You avert your gaze from, smiling. “Spread out, all for me.”

He’s unzipping his pants, kicking out of them and pushing your underwear aside. You’re too shy to see, but you can practically feel the heat emitting from it.

“Please, baby,” he says, leaning his head against your inner thigh and kissing the other one. “Give me the okay.”

“Taehyung,” you say, closing your eyes. “Please.”

If your eyes had not already been screwed shut, they would have been by now. Your mouth hangs open, failing to push back your moans.

He’s still in you after the first thrust, kissing your knee and running his hand up and down your thigh. “Fuck,” he whimpers.

You don’t need to tell him to keep going because he does, pulling back and thrusting forward again. Another round of moans leave you, your body flailing around and reaching out for anything to grab onto.

“You look so fucking good,” he whispers, thrusting again and setting a slow rhythm. “I’m your first, aren’t I?”

You nod, biting onto your finger.

“Good,” he growls. “I’ve always wanted to be your first.”

“Tae–”

“Have you been waiting for me all these years?” He asks, voice deep.

“There’s nobody–like–you,” you say through desperate pants. “Of course–I waited for–for you.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles again, looking down at where your bodies connect. “I love you so much.”

“Taehyung–”

“Please baby, please let go,” he begs, gripping your thighs tighter and reaching a hand to rub your clit.

You do let go. Your mouth hangs open, sound unable to come out as you’re momentarily paralysed in pleasure. Your hands desperately claw at his body, his thighs and his chest. He moans at the sight, thrusting in and out to draw out your peak.

“Ugh, baby,” he groans before he’s pulling out and spilling onto your stomach. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he saws, watching himself let go on your skin. The substance feels warm against you and you wish he could have let go in you instead, wanting to feel it stain your very insides.

“Tae,” you whisper, sitting up and clutching his shirt to pull him into a long kiss. His mouth moves slowly and fluently against yours, bringing his hand back to your waist.

“Shit, wait,” he breaks away. “Where are your tissues?”

“On the floor somewhere,” you answer as you watch him scavenge the ground and around your belongings piling up. You look down at yourself, watching his fluid run down your stomach, the space between your legs tingling. You reaches out to get a bit on your finger before you’re enveloping it in the warmth of your mouth.

Your eyes flutter close at the taste, mostly because it’s Taehyung you’re tasting. As your eyes peel open, you see Taehyung is staring right at you, lips agape and eyes wide.

“Fuck,” he groans and he rubs your stomach with tissues. “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Mm baby, was that really your first time?”

You’re suddenly insecure, jumping down from the desk to grab your clothes.

“Don’t be embarrassed Y/N,” Taehyung says, wrapping his hands around you before you could start getting dressed. “You did so good.”

“It’s just–”

“It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how long we’ve been apart,” he interrupts, kissing along your jawline and making you sigh. “All that I care about is that we’re finally together again.”

You drop your pants from the fingers and don’t watch as they hit the floor. Your fingers pull him back to you and caress the sides of his face, almost unable to comprehend he was real and he was yours. Finally.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you,” you repeat as he pulls you into a kiss.

If only things were as simple as that exchangement of words. But nothing was ever simple with Taehyung. It will never be.

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