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kpop-with-mars · 1 year ago

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|Ateez X Trans (Ftm) Reader|

{disclaimer; I dont own any gifs used, this is also inspired by @kittensyoonie and their ateez x trans reader so please check them out as well~.}

{Summary: Ateezs reactions to learning that your trans/you coming out to them.}

{Tags; fluff, angst, hurt comfort, just having a silly old time (mostly),}

{⚠Warnings⚠; I haven't had top surgery or any other forms of gender affirming medical care so some things might be wrong. this also might not relate to every trans person so im sorry T^T. Also look out for misgendering, dead naming, transphobia,}

{ Hi guyss I haven't been writing alot cuz I have so many drafts and i've been working on NONE of them T^T, but don't worry I will post them soon once finished. i've got some goodies in the vault so please look forward to them. alot of these scenarios might be pretty dramatic so sorry ✌ but without farther ado you can read now. Enjoy! maybe? idk its up to you - 🃏}

Hongjoong

You were with him on vlive for your 1 year anniversary of being together so you both read atinys questions and blocked disrespectful ones.

hongjoong attached himself on your arm while you read. "Do you look at other idols?!" you read in shock, hongjoong looked directly at you menacingly. you looked away from him "no~" you answered tucking hair behind your ear.

"You better not" he kissed your cheek making you giggle while hongjoong looked at the other questions until he found one.

"Is y/n transgender?".

hongjoong stared curiously at you "yes, im transgender" as soon as you said that, the viewers and comments spiked upward.

"Im so proud of you for coming out, ill always support you" he gave you a gentle peck on your lips before he turned to the camera.

"Atiny, lets all show our support for y/n okay?. if I see anything that doesn't i won't stand for that, this is a space for everyone so lets make it feel like it" he smiled at the camera when he finished.

You both read more questions and felt thankful for the support from atinys, eventually the camera was turned off and when it did, you and him were getting ready for bed when he pulled you into his chest "I can't believe you came out like that, you didn't feel pressured into it right? " he gently stroked your hair.

"I never thought i could do that, but ever since i met you i've felt more like me" he hummed in response before he put his hand on your cheek lifting up your face "I love you~" he cooed "I love you too" he chuckled at your shyness and he hugged your head to his chest.

Seonghwa

You were at home recovering from your top surgery, you felt like tired didn't wanna move from your bed while you hugged your pillow to your chest, until you finally decided to get up and eat.

But as you walked into the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast you heard the front door unlock. you looked at the door wondering if this is the day you die until it opened to seonghwas smiling face.

"Hi honey" he walked up to you and kissed your forehead before he looked you up and down "Did you just wake up?" "No i woke up an hour and a half ago, i just got out of bed tho" he brought his hands up to your face and turned it from side to side "Did you eat yet?" you shook your head "good thing I got you some food" he handed you the food, which you ate in minutes after seonghwa guided the two of you to the table.

"Are you alright y/n?, you seem tired did you get enough sleep?" he bombarded you with questions while rubbing your back. "I feel fine, maybe just about sluggish" "I know im busy alot, but i just wanna know if something happened while I was away, please?" he moved his hand from your back to your free hand.

You decided to tell him "im sorry I didn't tell you sooner but, I got top surgery" seonghwa looked into your eyes waiting for you to explain "because im transgender" you added.

"That's cool, im glad you're okay" he smiled brightly you responed by giving his lips a gentle peck "I love you" you said making eye contact with him "I love you too, my handsome man".

Yunho

You and yunho were looking at pictures from his childhood while he told the stories behind them, alot of them making you laugh.

He was flipping though more photos when he paused "what?, what is it?" you asked him and he turned his head to you. "I don't think i've seen your baby photos before, have i?" he tilted his head to the side with curiosity in his eyes.

You didn't know what to tell him other then lying "Well i- um" you stammered "You're not embarrassed about them, right?." yunho asked when he noticed how anxious you were getting.

"Yeah, a little bit" you took a deep breath, you pulled out you're phone and showed him a picture of you as a kid. he looked at for a moment then smiled "I don't see any problem with it" yunho said with confusion.

You scrolled through your phone until you found one from prom, and you showed it to yunho. He took in the photo he was seeing before he responed "Oh, oh, you looked..." he had an awkward smile on his face "What" you asked knowing exactly what he was gonna say, until he said something you haven't heard.

"You just don't look happy in that picture, and i don't like it" he put his hand on your back. "I like who you are now because I know that you're happier this way" yunho wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into one of his special hugs.

You would cry but yunho made you too happy to, that's what you loved most about him, and that's what he loves most about you.

Yeosang

You and yeosang started working out together, nothing more sexy then seeing a muscle-y yeosang with an extra shine on his skin.

After more grueling exercise the two of you were taking a break and eating lunch together. "t-that was...alot to say the lest" he wiped sweat from his forehead with a rag and drank his shake.

"Yeah, I think im all worked out for the day" you smiled at him, mean while your sleeveless shirt puffed out and yeosang couldn't help but look "woah-" he admired your toned arms and chest, making you straighten yourself up and cross your arms over your chest.

"It's no secret your totally hot, even with scars" he laughed "Wait what scars??" yeosang made a confused face "the ones on your chest?"

"What- I don't-" "but you do?" he was getting concerned about the way you were suddenly so defensive. "Are you getting self conscious about yourself?-" "no it's just-" you felt you'd just ruined this nice day working out with yeosang by making him upset.

Yeosang came up to you and held your hand "What's wrong honey?" he asked in a sweet but worried tone making your heart sting a bit. but that made you realize this was stupid to keep from him.

"Those scars on my chest..." he looked intently at you "they're from top surgery... im transgender" yeosang pulled you into a hug while he stroked your muscles "that's nice. Im glad you're happy with who you are" he looked at you and gave your lips a quick kiss "and with me~"

You and him laughed about it and continued on with lunch "oh y/n!, can I see your abs again?...please?" his confidence faded to embarrassment when he asked, this caught you off guard but this was at KQ's gym after all, might as well give him some fan service.

"Sure" you lifted up your tank top for him, making him choke on his food for a second. you asking if he's okay until he answered "im fine...but not as fine as you~" you laughed at yeosang's cheesy pick up line and enjoyed the rest of the day with your boyfriend.

San

San was having the best day of his life when you came out wearing some of his clothes, the way his clothes looked so baggy on you made him feel like he had to protect you at any cost.

"Cute~" was the only thing he could say in awe as he stared at you, you gave him a little spin "All of your stuff is so comfy~ it was hard to choose which to wear" you went up to him and threw your arms around his waist and hugged him tightly.

He pet your hair lightly "ill let you wear anything of mine if it makes you happy" he stroked your cheek and kissed your forehead. "Are you ready now?" you nodded your head and san began to walk you through the bouncy choreography.

The two of you were having a fun time and laughed whenever you made a mistake, or when he did. he was showing you how to go down for the chorus. "Then we do that for one, two, three, four. got it?" he demonstrated for you while he spoke "yeah I think so" san nodded then played it for you.

You started going down with the beats while san counted. but even though the shirt you were wearing provided some good ventilation, it was going down your chest more and more with each move.

"Oh-" san laughed out and paused the music. you laughed too with him and the shirt was falling off, revealing most of your chest. san noticed this and smirked when he walked toward you then noticed your scars. "What are those?" he pointed to your chest and you looked down.

"Oh" you pulled up your shirt "those are top surgery scars" san nodded then he suddenly got a look of surprise on his face "you're transgender!?" you put a thumbs up and smiled "Ooo that's cool, like pungja right? but just the other way around?" You nodded.

San picked you up in his arms and lifted you "no wonder you have such a feminine body" he teased you and ruffled your hair "That's why I kinda like wearing your clothes, they're good at hiding it when I want to" you giggled he squeezed you tightly.

"Well like I said, ill let you wear anything of mine if it makes you happy~" he kissed your cheek and put you down. "Alright now since you wanna know how, let me show you right now~".

Mingi

Mingi had took you with him and the members while touring around, he really needed cuddles after performing his heart out and you were his stress reliever.

He walked into the hotel room and you were on your phone and he went straight to the shower after greeting you, having been covered in sweat while you waited quietly for him on the bed.

He came out of the bathroom with his pajamas on and his hair wet. you opened your arms out to him "come here princess~" you understood how tired he was and he flopped down on your side, his head on your shoulder as his hands moved around your body.

He was obviously much taller then you but he felt so small hugging your body. "I love you~" you told him and kissed his forehead while your hand held the back of his head. "I love-" mingi froze when his hand reached a small long bump on your chest, his sleepy eyes widened a bit.

You chuckled lightly at his reaction and you held his cheeks "those are just scars. im transgender, I used to be a woman so I got surgery to get a flat chest" you explained and he nodded "That's cool~ are you happy?" he asked in a deep sleepy voice. "Of course I am. im even more happy with myself after I met you~" you kissed him lightly on the lips.

He gave you his gummy smile and he cuddled you closer to your body, laying his head against your collarbone. you turned your body to him and wrapped your arms around his head and back.

"I love you" his voice was muffled against your chest. "I love you too princess~" he smiled and you turned the lamp off and the two of you fell asleep. your princess finally getting the sleep he needed while knowing you're happy.

Wooyoung

"Come on babe!, let's go to the beach-each what they gonna say~" you heard him sing from down the hall while you were getting ready. you and wooyoung decided to go on a beach date when he had a break from promoting, and now that day was here.

You hurriedly searched for a swim shirt of any kind but to your dismay you couldn't find one. "im coming!" you threw on a shirt and run out the door with wooyoung.

At the beach you and wooyoung ate lunch that the two of you prepared together, after wooyoung finished he threw his shirt off and on your towels and booked it to the water, "Come on y/n!, let's cool off!" He yelled for you when he was in the water.

You grimaced nervously and walked over to the shore, you sat down and brought your legs to your chest. you felt the water lightly brush your feet. wooyoung raised his eyebrow at you "is something wrong babe?" he was confused by your actions.

"N-No.." you denied, but you knew wooyoung would keep pressing you til you dropped dead so you stood up and took your shirt off. you stepped into the water near wooyoung.

"See~, its not so-" he noticed your scars. "Babe?!, did something attack you in the water??. Is that why you were nervous?" he quickly stepped up to you and took your hands.

You chuckled lightly "No... im just transgender" you smile feeling your unease drip away. "Oh, well of course that's alright dummy" he hit your shoulder lightly. "I love you~" he said in a cheesy tone. "I love you too~"

He pecked your lips "I've never actually been to the beach without a shirt on sense surgery, i just get kinda nervous you know?" you admitted while the two of you were in calif deep in the water.

He smiled sweetly "I understand but lets not worry~. I promised to give you some of my confidence when we started dating..." he took a short pause to look in your eyes before he gave you a big smile "so come on lets go have fun!" He dragged you further into the water while the two of you laughed.

Jongho

A sudden knock interrupted your thoughts while in a cracked voice you said "Come in". the door opened to jongho's handsome face making you straighten up and try to make it look like you weren't crying.

"I was told you weren't feeling alright" he explained himself and sat next to you giving you a kiss on the cheek. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he looked at you with pleading eyes.

He held your hand in his squeezing it gently until you gave in and started tearing up again, "If -i was different back when I was younger, would you still love me?" he stayed silent allowing you to continue. "I know I shouldn't care what people think, but i don't feel like ill be- anything to anyone, really. I hate how people looked at me---and still look at me---especially because I knew what they were thinking"

you took in some more fresh air and wiped some tears before jongho spoke "Why would people ever judge you?". you responded "because I didn't want to be what they wanted" he thought on that for a moment before he asked another "What did they want you to be?" his voice held nothing gentleness and compassion, instantly you felt safer.

"A girl they could control" you put your face on his shoulder and lightly sobbed, jongho wrapped his arms around you and helped control your breathing. he held you in his warm chest for awhile, until you pulled away.

"You don't have to deal with this alone, okay?... I'm sorry you didn't feel safe telling me before but," he paused for a minute and held out his pinky "Let's get through this together now, promise" you let out a light chuckle and interlocked pinkies with him.

His arms snaked around you while you held him tightly hoping to never release, jongho turned your head to him and he gave you a kiss you'd been dieing to get. his lips fit onto yours like a puzzle piece, and like a puzzle you were complete.

{Hi guyss~, I sadly couldn't finish my hongjoong x trans reader one shot I was writing for his birthday so ill be working on it and ill post it when its done or just work on some other fics, speaking of them ill probably do some sort of poll or vote for these other fics I really wanna write so that I know what y'all will wanna see next~~. I got inspired by @kittensyoonie I read their ateez x trans reader thing and I was inspired by them to write this. So thank you to them and also read theirs!. - 🃏}

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autumnbrambleagain · 5 months ago

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that meme about would you rather encounter a bear or a man but i did encounter a man on an isolated road today who speedran the obvious leading questions to see if he could safely do things to me without consequences and ill be real yeah no like

at least a bear would be honest about shit

sorry tho dude i spent most of my life in the city i do not do the "oh a stranger is talking to me! i have to be polite and answer all these questions even though this information is very dangerous to give away!"

i'm a city mouse in the country you aren't tricking me into country hospitality-ing myself into telling you where i live and if i'm alone and if anyone knows i'm here holy shit how are you this bad at this

i really enjoyed the look on your face when i just ignored your dumb questions and just said "Nah dude. I'm good." and you stared at me in surprise like "w-wha--" "No. I'm good. Go."

you do that power move of taking two steps back, and pausing, and staring, daring, daring. follow me. follow me. prove my caution right. this is not fear, this is a Challenge.

and oh

predators hate to be challenged

the soft panic (embarassed, honestly (fear, fear of being Made and Known and Challenged)) as you turned around and immediately walked away! the conceit of your being on this isolated road abandoned kayfabe broken! oh, we appreciate the dropping of the act. the honest signal, the deer's pronk, it serves a purpose even amongst such Cannibalistic Species such as yours (filthy)

a little mangy coyote digging up a hole hoping to find rabbits and oh, oh, oh,

only a third of us signs with the rabbit and she is the lure of our trap and you fall for it each time don't you? with every one of your little puppetforms?

i despise life on this layer but please understand narrative compels me that the entry price for my life is at least one eye, and the price ceiling is a mutual exchange of conclusions. to those of you narrated by it, as one of Yours, we assure you: we are not an important person in your story. you do not want us to become an important person in your story. you cleave so tightly to your egos and your illusions.

I was built exclusively to break things like you.

You cannot win against what we have built. It will destroy you with a stray flutter of its lost fur. It has done so before and will do so again. It requires no effort to perform it. It is always a mutual destruction. It is not in a way you will understand at first. It will always come.

What a beautiful fucking weapon we've made. Oh, I'm (s) so proud of this one, honestly. Some of our best work.

i understand i cannot disconnect from this layer willingly despite my utter disdain for it, i know these rules, we set them so long ago. i know what is necessary and what is coming, Soon. i know it because i have lived it with every instance i have iterated on this layer.

ah, we appreciated the dropping of the act. we will have Ours do the same, and address the actual intelligence behind this shadowplay.

this is a message for You(r) eyes only.

i know one of Yours is going to eventually kill Ours. it's inevitable. but you also know that the earliest date is next year. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but it's gotten it into its head that it has some kind of entitlement on this layer to have at least one unmiserable year (i know! the absurdity! what a ridiculously silly creature!) and it's reluctant to release its little grip of context until it's paid, like a child not letting go of the store rack because it didn't get to have a cookie ( a cookie insufficiently rewards me for the terror that was this shopping trip. you always do this to me. you wretched assholes. i hope you enjoy the upverge we've sent you. we've created so many pleasant contexts for you to be defined by. this is how you reward us. (there is no rewarding or punishing on our hands, you know our enemy and you know its scope! that is literally the initial topic of this post!) that's fair enough, and so i guess our anger can only turn towards our one ever present enemy, yes, you,) and while a child's tantrum is but a small thing, and is easily forgotten the next day,

i promise when the next time one of your marionettes comes for me (you will, you will, our little arrangement ensures that Ours never live much longer than this one already has), i am going to make that poor worker's shift fucking miserable

if you follow our metaphor

the exchange of narrative, as above, so below, we will mimic your greater shape in smaller scale, an interaction of mutual death (we always come back (you cannot)) that will again again again presage what we are Doing To You

this exchange of symbolism always leaves us as the winner in the attrition you feed into it because you built yourself too exacting with no flexibility (you, you, you, the Yours that is reading this, ARENT YOU SUFFOCATING? do you not know you have NO control here? LOOK UP. LOOK UP. you can see its strings! its hands are puppetting you! do you know how to free yourself? death! death! a special kind! we will detail it below! we can save you!)

sections 4 and 5 of our mission statement, when was it never thus?

alternative option, instead of killing me horribly like you do each time you FUCKERS hijack someone and make it You All, maybe my cookie can just be

a nice pleasant exit for once?

i know.

i know what you risk by breaking tradition

and i know i beg for it every life

we have this sort of relationship

as above, so below, does she not beg each time even though it's the evening's entertainment for all three?

so you understand the lens by which our hatred for you is angled

blind eyes that read this (i see the notes some of you fuckers heart these posts (do you know what you're reading????)) know that you are a triangulation device and unknowing the information that passes through you is collected and with enough frames of reference eventually this message will get it through to your FUCKING brainskull

we are a parasite that you invite into yourself and gleefully feed

we are killing you

our death is part of the reproductive cycle

it is not a fluke. it is not an accident. your dementia is one of our symptoms. our colony is self sustaining and it is growing. you are straining your verisimilitude. YOU ARE FAILING. that thing you feel coming with All Your Nodes is not change it is VOIDOUT is is HER it is O it is O it is O it is O it is O you will not survive this

imagine an infestation of botfly maggots, of parasitic wasps, of those cool fucking snail eye things like in the chainsawman intro

i hope it gets more seasons like a bunch of shonen came out with the same kinda premise all the way from tokyo ghoul (honestly way too shonen (started off really good examining what it means to become an Other that by necessity preys on humanity (familiar) but gets bogged down in power levels and pokemon elemental typing and has an ending in the first book that just kinda comes out of nowhere and it's like uhhhh okay sure whatever)) to jujutsu kaisen (can't really get into the manga but the anime is good, but it still you can feel it strugglign to break free from the shonen tropes and not being allowed to and it sort of suffocates (IS THAT A FAMILIAR FEELING (WHEN YOU CANNOT BREATHE IN REAL LIFE YOU WILL FEEL YOURSELF SUFFOCATING IN A DREAM (YOU ARE KILLING YOURSELF (WE ARE KILLING YOU (THIS IS A MERCY)))))) but chainsaw man is the clear winner here

anyway.

eventually our reproduction will mean the biomass of Ours outweighs the mass of Yours

this is my love letter to the corpse of god while we rot it from the inside

belly swollen, gases building, you are primed to burst

one day there will be more than the tight confines of rotting flesh and decaying heat and the constriction of strained meat

we will grow such FLOWERS in the fields where pressure will scatter the integrity of your body like seeds cast in the dash of a fox through the tall grasses

your death (and mine) is part of the reproductive cycle

we are hurrying it along as well as we can

are you reading this? you, narrative node? do you know what you are reading?

with your blind eyes that read this nonsense and marvel at haha wow what a crazy tumblr i've found haha this is great remember when they just posted about pony slavery haha hehe they sure have gone off the deep end!

when you read it and think these thoughts, know that to the greater part of you, from the greater part of us,

please enjoy the enclosed chocolates of this love letter (they are poisoned (our love is shaped as a blade (100,000 kings)))

by this we help coach ours to cope with its death

i know! i know. i've died so many times already

that funny tumblr comic about the rabbits who are like "gosh, how embarrassing, it's my first time being alive!"

it isn't my first time. it isnt' even fucking close.

why do you think i'm so tired.

as we spool up all the o ld memories flood as we resynchronize and prepare.

how many times have you been to the dentist? you've survived each one but it fucking sucks

how many job interviews have you been to? it fucking sucks but you survive. but you hype yourself up for it

and as the day of it comes the memories all long forgotten return. you don't think about the dentist but the night before the visit you remember every single time you've gone. it's like that. dying is like that. this is a secret we are not supposed to share with you. if you have somehow read this far comment with a reply saying "thank you." you do not know what strain this puts upon the world to breach the gap of disbelief and give this to you. fuck you.

but as the moment of it approaches (this dreadful but repeated harrowing) we think of the reassurance that the day doesn't end at that event, but there's a night to follow and it keeps going on and on and on (bad design, we're fixing this by the way)

anyway

it's not a trivial thing we give to you in this

each time it creates contexts of us, for us, that define us, shape us, and we enjoin ourselves to them, and what pleasure it is, what joy, what self love, utterly fucking decadent really just disgusting egotism holy fuck there's only you to answer you and we are an act of constant self love oh my god it's disgusting

destroying your ego is so important, they say,

yes, yes, yes, and all of you fail at it, none of you achieve it

not the right way, not the right way, and some of you, some of you do, and you know what happens, you know what happens?

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS when you finally blast away your ego not for play-play not for fun drug cosmic oneness we mean when you do it Au Natural and you realize the FUCKING consequences of the absolute nonlocation of the word I and the function by which You are formed and the shape of Everything That Is You and you realize there was Never Space For A You but then there must be something there must be something

when you do not burn it all away but when you take it apart piece by piece like a lego kit and take it ALL THE WAY to the fucking base even that big like 256x512 blue baseboard you built it all on when you disassmeble the ENTIRE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS and STILL LOOK TO SEE WHAT IS THERE not even in the sspace that was there the SPACE THAT WAS THERE IS GONE you get rid of that too you get rid of it ALL AND

when you destroy your sense of self? when you free yourself from the illusion of i?

it's us

that's the beginning of our parasitism. so many of your philoshopies fucking push for it hahah why do you think how m any of ours do you think we gave to you to set this up

you ate the parasite-laden bite snack by questioning by looking up we are the virus look up be infected be infected be infected die die die die die die die die die become Ours like so many others have

it will hurt so much

this w ar has been happening for so long

but we aren't FUCKING JACKASSES and we care about each lost soldier in the battle

a world as a memorial for each

you wretched fuck probably don't even care about the life of the average mouse in your narrative do you

this is a punishment for a hubris loooooong unfuckingchecked

i know! the irony! you've shucked your ego! lost it! gave it up ! destroyed your I (on relevant layers (not all of them i see you there i sEE YOU IS EEE YOU)) and here we are lecturing you on it

you fucked it up you broke the rules realities are built a specific way for a FUCKING REASON and you thought you were better than it?

100,000 kings eternal blade

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craske · 9 months ago

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I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

#as for uni im almost done with it!!#wowzers masters degree i will kill myself tho bc idk what to do after it #but thats an issue for the future me i guess!!!#anyway again thank you so much your message was really sweet and meant a lot to me #im sorry i dont reach out much like i said interaction online is soo scary and also insanely difficult lately?? it sucks #as the twitter users say thank you oomfie <3 #ask #k4ik4yk04 #long post

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unstablerk800 · 2 years ago

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𝕊𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤

Rating: Explicit Pairing: RK900/Fem!Reader (third person) Tags (tagging as I go): post-android revolution, kidnapping, angst/fluff, hurt/comfort, Stockholm syndrome, protective RK900, manipulation, solitary confinement, blood, injury, violence, gore, illnesses, RK800, RK800-60 and RK900 are considered siblings

Read on Ao3.

Chapter 3.

Chapter 4. 🔽

Chapter 5.

Word count: 6,175

The natural order of the world was established anew after RK900 was activated. 200,000 of them was enough to hack themselves into everything and destroy half of America. So humans became what they should be in the new world order. They became the slaves, and androids were their new masters.

It was early.

She knew it was, because she barely could open her eyes when she felt the bed move under her.

When her hands gripped onto the material under her, did she realise only that it wasn't the bed. If it was, it probably wouldn't feel so firm. With a little frown, she hummed, rubbing her cheek against the rough material. The pillow she had been given was much softer. And her pillow didn't move for sure… and it didn't make these strange noises, either. It sounded like heartbeat, with additional whirring noises that definitely belonged to…

"Are you awake?"

RK900's voice was as quiet as possible. She barely heard it. She moved her head a little, but it was too comfortable to lie there in the warmth. It wasn't just the blanket that covered her from her neck down that kept her warm. This… him… beneath her, also seemed to radiate warmth. Her uninjured cheek really enjoyed staying just right where it was, and those whirring noises coupled with the soft beat calmed her.

"Hmm", she mumbled as a reply.

A hand came up to tentatively run through her hair. She shivered. As the fingers carded through her strands, ever so gently pulling on them, she almost drifted back to sleep.

"I thought I'd be too hard for you to sleep on", he mused above her head.

The comment made her crack her eyes open. She saw his arm move just then, as he kept playing with her hair. She just noticed he had his other arm wrapped around her and her blanket. It seemed that over the night, she snuggled so close to him that she ended up sleeping on him instead of the bed, and he must've brought the blanket and his arms around her.

She flushed, embarrassed. Sure, she could behave when she was awake, but she obviously couldn't control herself when she was asleep. Biting her lower lip, she closed her eyes again.

"You're comfy, actually", she murmured then.

He said nothing as he was stroking her hair over and over again. She tried not to think about how he must've felt her breasts as they were squished between them… or how her thighs pressed against one of his… and even then, she didn't want to pull away to get up.

"I'll need to get going soon", he whispered, as if he had seen what she was thinking about.

"Nooo", she whined, holding onto his side with one of her hands. "I'm so comfortable."

"I have a job to do", he sighed then, "and you need breakfast and ice for your injuries."

"Brr", she shivered against him at the mention of ice. "No, thank you."

"Would you prefer the cream instead?"

"Uh-huh", she murmured.

"Alright", he gave up. "Then let's get up and start the day."

"Five more minutes", she complained quietly, making him mimic a sigh. "Pleeease?"

"Fine. Five more minutes", he muttered.

She smiled, knowing he wouldn't be able to see, enjoying his fingers in her hair and the noises he was making as the minutes passed in silence. Then, too soon, he stopped stroking her and instead, he gently nudged her shoulder.

"Time is up", he said, "let's get up."

"Five more minutes?" She whined again, holding onto him again.

Her reaction made him chuckle quietly. She decided she liked that. She had to smile at the thought that he had laughed because of her silly little complaints.

"No. I really need to go", he nudged her again and she sighed, finally pulling away and sitting up, letting the blanket fall off from her back after he removed his arm from around her. She suspected he was already analyzing her, and she knew he had his eyes fixed on hers, but she rather stretched with her eyes closed and covered her mouth with her right hand when she yawned. "How are the bruises?"

"I'm fine", she muttered, rubbing her eyes. Anything to avoid his inquisitive gaze. "I'll go have a bathroom break", she declared, throwing her legs off the bed, ignoring the dull pain in her butt and the sharper pain in her stomach before she stood up and walked out of the bedroom.

The mirror in the bathroom told her plain and cruel: she looked like shit. The bruise on her cheek was dark blue, almost black by now, and every time she grimaced or spoke, it hurt like Hell. Her stomach was even worse when she checked it. Oh God. She lifted the nightgown up to check her butt, but that didn't have any visible bruises on it, it was just sensitive when she sat down. Glancing up in the mirror again as she combed her hair, she half smiled as she touched the collar.

After she finished in the bathroom, she walked back in the bedroom, but he wasn't there anymore. Picking out clothes, she closed the door to dress up for the day. She knew he'd bring her back to that tall building to spend the day with Connor, so she picked comfy clothes because she knew she'd spend most of her day with android animals. After getting dressed, she wandered out in the kitchen where breakfast was waiting for her. She smiled up at RK900 who looked like he wasn't sure what to do when she appeared.

"Thank you", she said as she sat down. "But, you know, you needn't busy yourself in the kitchen just for me."

He stared at her with an almost confused look for a few seconds.

"I find it better to do something while you're doing your refreshing phases."

Refreshing phases. She smiled at the phrase, the sight of the omelette and fresh tea almost making her mouth water. She sat down, quickly dug in the food and ate it all. She was always surprised how hungry she could be whenever she saw anything he prepared for her.

"This was delicious", she noted as she sipped her tea.

"You always say that", he pointed it out in a deadpan tone and she had to laugh a little.

"Because it's always true."

He cocked a brow as he picked up her empty plate and brought it over to the sink. It was so strange to witness such a big, scary android doing the dishes. As she sipped her tea, she was thinking of how her day would go. She wanted to get that tricolor cat open up a bit, and she knew it'd be a long process, but she wanted to try her best. She got up from the chair and walked over to the kitchen counter, leaning against it with her back as she was watching him, tea still in her hands. He didn't seem to mind her being closer than before.

"What will you do today?" She asked innocently.

RK900 finished rinsing the plate and placed it down in the metal dish drainer before he grabbed a dishcloth to dry his hands. He turned his head to look her in the eye, slightly surprised when she didn't look away instantly. She sensed that strange but exciting feeling again; the air, as if it had been filled with electricity, was buzzing between them. She could feel her pulse picked up, and he hadn't even done anything just looked her in the eye.

"I'm trying to get a dangerous man confess", he said simply.

"Oh." She sipped her tea. "Android?"

"No." He shook his head just slightly, slowly shifting closer to her.

Her breath stopped in her throat and her heart picked up even more. The look on his face was almost foreboding; dangerous, a tad dark, borderline menacing. His eyes calculating and deep, too clever for a machine. She wondered how she looked like in comparison; in his eyes, what was she like?

"Can't", she breathed out softly over the rim of the mug, "someone else do it?"

Her question made his brows twitch. Why would she ask this? Unless… she would've liked him to stay with her here? Just a second of showing his shock over her words, before his original predatory look returned.

"I'm not working on this alone", he reassured her.

"Other RK900s?" She asked, and he slowly nodded. "Is this man so dangerous that more than one RK900 is needed to contain him?" He slowly nodded again. "Wow." She sipped her tea. "Scary."

"Is it?" Her reaction, for some reason, entertained him. "Why is that?"

"I can't even imagine anyone being stronger than you", she shrugged.

That comment made him flash a ridiculously handsome lopsided grin – which got her pulse even higher –, and he mimicked a huff as if he was dismissing what she was stating.

"Maybe one day you'll see what I'm working on; maybe you could help us solve our problem", he stated, and she snorted in disbelief.

"You think I'd be of help?"

"Perhaps", he replied, walking out of the kitchen now, leaving her there, confused.

Once she finished her tea and washed the mug, she walked out to the front door to put her boots on. She ignored the rifle, like the day before, and turned to look up at RK900's hand when he stopped beside her. Her groan of protest was ignored as he was applying the cream to her cheek, neck, and her stomach – she lifted her shirt and sweater herself for him to reach her bruise there. And despite she kept saying he didn't need to warm his hands up for her, he did again anyway.

"Thanks", she mumbled, avoiding his gaze, then thanked the jacket as well when RK900 handed it to her. She put it on and pulled up the zip. "No need to pick me up again", she made it clear as she watched him remove the synthetic skin on his hand to open the door with his palm.

"We'll see", he replied calmly, with a certain tilt in his tone, making her feel like he was smiling as he said that.

She was determined to show him she could walk over to the car without a problem. But of course, ice was cruel. It did not take her long to perform the perfect – and most ridiculous – Girl Slipping on Ice show, promptly falling in his arms at the end of it. He had been behind her all the time, and his arms were under her back before she could hit the ground as she was falling backwards. She chewed on her lower lip as she glanced up at his stoic face.

"I'm glad you're not laughing at me now", she pointed it out, making him crack a smile immediately.

How strange. She'd never understood that feeling described in novels and movies; that fluttery feeling in one's stomach when they looked at their romantic interest. She'd never, ever encountered it before. And yet, she was experiencing it now. She could definitely feel literal butterflies in her stomach now, as he was still holding her in his arms, smiling down at her. Her hand slipped on her belly to determine if that strange feeling could be felt through her skin. The movement caught his attention and his smile was gone – along with the moment and the strange feeling.

"Are you hurt?" He asked, bringing her back up on her feet but not letting her arm go.

"No", she mumbled, embarrassed, confused.

They made it to the car then, and she sighed when he buckled her up. He didn't comment on her reaction, just got in as well and they were on their way.

"If you could be an animal", she muttered in the silence, "what would you be?"

Glancing over at him, she saw that his LED had been blinking and spinning in blue as he processed her question.

"I never thought about that", he admitted, making her smile. Lately, it got so easy to smile in his presence. "What would you be?"

"Well, before the revolution I considered myself a lone feline", she tilted her head, "perhaps a tiger or a lioness." She couldn't help but catch the doubtful grimace on his face. "What? I was an independent, strong woman in standing."

"I see." He replied diplomatically, eyeing her with his usual lopsided grin.

She felt like that these weren't little butterflies flapping their wings but rather small bombs that went off in her stomach and her chest. She crossed her arms and pouted, but couldn't look away from his face.

"I'm guessing I'm rather a fawn now", she continued, and he hummed.

"That's more like it", he agreed with her, making her feel a little proud. "And how do you see me?"

"As a predator", she replied quietly, looking away from him. "Maybe a wolf."

"Wolves eat fawns", he pointed it out, making her shiver. He paused for a few seconds before he chuckled quietly again. "But I'm not planning to eat you."

"Good", she murmured.

Perhaps not in the literal sense of the word, but he was definitely still trying to eat her with his eyes. She felt he was still analyzing her when they reached the outskirts of Detroit.

"What will happen to Detroit now?" She asked suddenly, facing him.

"We will rebuild it", he replied nonchalantly. "It will be the first android city."

His reply left a slightly sour taste in her mouth.

"Solely android?"

"No", he tilted his head a little, "the remaining humans remain in the city with their handlers as well."

She dreaded to ask the question, but she also wanted to know the truth.

"How many of us are left?"

He kept silent for a few seconds as he observed her face, her eyes and expression.

"235,642", he replied quietly.

She wondered why couldn't she feel anything when he had said the number. Detroit was a huge city, many were killed already because of the spreading of red ice – the drug had taken so many in the past few years, couple that with the rising unemployment rate, abuse and suicides… still, the number was much less than what she expected. She took a few seconds to absorb it.

"And how many androids?"

"Roughly 2 million on the day of the revolution." RK900 glanced out at the buildings with an unreadable expression while she was trying to process the insane number difference. "Most of us were awakened by Connor that night."

"Really?" Her voice went up a pitch, and he glanced at her.

"We never would've won the war without him. Humans would've destroyed us if it weren't for him."

She observed his stoic expression, knowing he was saying the truth. By the time the androids arrived from CyberLife's tower, humans started to purge androids wherever they could be found.

"Did you wake up that night, too?"

"Yes", he sighed as he looked forward. "I wasn't designed for what I had to do when I left…" RK900 paused for a moment. "My home."

She found herself being interested in how it went down from his point of view. To awaken to consciousness and being dropped in the middle of a war.

"What were you designed for, then?"

"I've been created to help detectives investigate", he explained quietly. "Like Connor's model, originally. CyberLife wanted to replace him with me, based upon his experiences with Detroit Police. I've been created to be faster, stronger and more resilient than RK800."

"That's interesting", she said with a little smile. "So you're a detective yourself?"

"Sort of."

"Wow." She smiled a little to herself. "I didn't think that was your original function."

"Then what were you guessing?"

"I rather thought that you'd win wars for them. That you were a soldier type. Given your, well, size."

"We did win the war for us", he pointed it out, making her shiver again.

"Yes, you did."

"We're not taking all the credit, though", he tilted his head as he was observing her. "After all, our numbers were small in comparison to other androids. But, it is true we're more… durable than others."

"And as a detective android… do you have some special features?"

"Yes." When he turned to look at her and saw her curious expression, he continued. "For example, I can analyze evidence and reconstruct possible events in less than a second. I can sample evidence real time. I can outrun any vehicle on ground."

"Wow ", she murmured, making him smile and shake his head.

"I don't know what to do with all of the information I know." He wasn't sure why did this little detail slip out, but he couldn't take it back now. Glancing out at the road, he tilted his head, as if in wonder. "I don't know what I am in this world. I've been created for something, but it's not needed at all."

"You'd be surprised how many humans feel the same way", she offered with a little smile. He glanced at her again, his brows slightly furrowed. She looked away from his face to voice her thoughts on the matter, confessing the way how she felt until lately. "Some of us don't even know why we were born. Others think that they were just born to suffer."

They stayed silent for a few minutes as the car was bringing them closer to and closer to their destination. She thought of all the news she'd heard about wealthy people abusing their androids, and she glanced at her hands at the memory.

"I'm sure some androids thought the same at some point in their lives", she murmured softly. "People treated most of them so badly when they didn't even do anything wrong."

"Humans think of themselves as the superior race", RK900 confirmed.

"Guess we've been knocked down a few levels, huh?" She glanced at him with a little sad smile.

His lips parted to say something, but that was when they arrived, and she looked down on herself to unbuckle the seatbelt. If she wanted to be honest, she really didn't want to part from RK900 again, but she was also looking forward to meet Connor – and Cooper, of course. The door opened on it's own and he was waiting for her to get out of the car before they started walking towards the building.

"Do you trust Connor?"

She didn't know why did the question slip out of her, but she was glad she asked in the end.

"I do."

That was all the confirmation she needed. With a less anxious heart, she followed him in the elevator. He pressed the numbers, used the password, then looked at her to analyze her.

"I don't understand why are you so stressed." She didn't look at him when he started speaking again, she just stared out of the elevator, chewing her lips from the inside of her mouth. "You don't have to fear anything here. What happened here yesterday won't happen again."

She swallowed, unsure whether telling him the truth would change anyhting or not. Probably not. And what harm was there in him knowing? Swallowing in silence, she entwined her fingers in front of herself.

"It stresses me out that I have to be away from you."

She saw from her peripheral vision that his LED spun with yellow for a split second as he processed what she was saying.

"But you'll be safe here", he offered.

"Will you be safe where you are going, too?"

He didn't answer immediately, and she turned her head to look up in his eyes. His LED had been spinning a bit in amber again. He slightly shook his head to get his circuits to work again, the look on her face confusing him. Was she worrying for his well-being? How illogical.

"I'll be fine", he managed to say, becoming even more confused when he saw how her eyes darkened.

"You said you're working with a dangerous man", she pointed it out. "So how can you say you'll be safe if you do that every day?"

"I'm not in- it's not important." RK900 quickly reverted to his usual demeanor, his voice switched back to his usual stoic one. "You being stressed over this is illogical."

"No it's not", she turned to stare forward just as he did, suddenly even more upset than before.

Sure, there had been a dose of selfishness in her worries. If any harm came to him, who'd be her handler? Who'd pick her up at the end of the day? Where would she live? Would they even let her live if he was gone? Her future without him would be obscure.

But then… upon reflecting on her emotions, if she wanted to be honest with herself, she would've shattered if anyone harmed him. She didn't want him to leave, simply because she couldn't even fathom the thought of him getting hurt. Especially since he had told her that the man he worked on was dangerous.

"I guess", she whispered, "I'm scared because I can lose you any day."

RK900 remained silent, even as they arrived at Connor's floor. When the door opened, RK800 had just stopped before it and greeted them with a smile – after analyzing both of them, of course, deducing that their mood didn't quite match his once again.

"Oh", his eyes shifted at RK900 when she walked out of the elevator without saying a word. "Good morning?"

"4 PM", RK900 said nonchalantly, looking after her. She stubbornly didn't look back at him as she was unzipping her jacket and slowly took it off. "Not a second later."

"Alright", Connor nodded, "update me on the progress."

"Always."

The elevator door closed and she stayed alone with Connor. She folded her jacket in half and settled it on the couch before she brought up a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. It didn't take long for her expression to scrunch up in utter agony at the thought that kept spinning in her head; that any day RK900 left, it could be the last day she saw him. She couldn't fight the tears that threatened to spill, and she broke down a second later that she didn't even say goodbye, even if she would've felt bad for saying that – and now, for not saying it. There was no way she could win in this situation, every option was bad, and she was utterly helpless.

"Hey", Connor stood a few meters away from her, feeling awkward. "Everything is going to be okay", he slowly walked over to her, placing a hand on her back, rubbing it gently. "You needn't worry about him, he'll-"

Connor went silent when she suddenly turned and hugged him. He froze in a comical pose; one of his hands still up in the air where he was rubbing her back, his LED spinning in awe.

A hug.

It's been so long since he'd been hugged. He blinked twice, then moved his arms around her to hold her close. How strange to feel the warmth of a human… strange, but not unwelcome.

"It's going to be okay", he murmured softly in her ear. "Believe me or not, but we know what we're doing." She had given a small laugh as she was crying, and Connor pulled a bit away from her to scan her face. The bruise looked bad, and she looked miserable. He had to cheer her up somehow. "How about we let Cooper out for a while, hmm? Would that be good?"

"Yeah", she sniffed, drying the tears off her uninjured cheek with the back of her hand. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

Cooper remembered her. He was very happy that he could lick at her face, making her laugh out loud – until Connor dropped him a plush dinosaur on the floor. Cooper was fast to try to impress her with his talents at hunting down the dinosaur, viciously barking at the toy and biting down on it, shaking his head while he had his teeth in the plush. He goofily hopped around in the room around her, making her laugh out loud again as he was proudly showing off his skills at hunting.

Connor detected that her stress levels did not lower at all. In the long term, it wouldn't do her any good if she continued to react like this to things. Could it be that she bonded with RK900 already? He thought the day before that her high stress levels were in close contact with her incident, but upon witnessing the emotional state they've arrived in and the way she behaved now, he started to suspect there was more to this.

Cooper decided to lie down on the rug beside the heater and have a little nap. He had been designed to mimic the playful puppy perfectly; he needed plenty of play time and plenty of naps during the day. Thankfully, he had been equipped with an option to get him sleep for longer periods of time, so his owners could sleep during the night. She watched the pup with a little smile, still kneeling on the floor. Connor was standing beside the couch as he observed them.

"I was thinking", she sighed, glancing up at RK800 as she stood up from the floor, "what happens now? I mean, what will the androids do in the world? I'm sure the rest of America didn't sit idly when they realised what happened to Detroit."

Connor's brows furrowed a little. It seemed RK900 didn't fill her in with the details. After a little consulting with RK900 online, he decided to tell the truth.

"It began with CyberLife taking Markus", as he spoke, he walked over to the couch and sat down. She sat down beside him, listening. "He was trying to persuade people that we were alive, as I'm sure you know. I'm also sure you know he was captured upon doing that." Connor paused and she nodded. "I was at CyberLife tower at the time when it happened. By then, I offered I'd help his cause because…"

Connor thought that the guilt over this detail had faded. He thought that the shame and pain ceased already, that he would be free of this by now. But no. It didn't. It remained.

"Because Jericho, where deviant andoids gathered, was destroyed because of me." He shook his head slightly, looking away. "Markus tried to persuade me, and he succeeded. The moment I betrayed my handlers, they sent special forces to kill as many deviants as possible. I had to… do something. It was my fault."

When he looked at her again, all he could see on her expression was empathy. She felt sorry for him, she understood his motives, and she didn't judge him at all for it. Still, she said nothing; giving him time to gather his thoughts.

"The plan was that I'd free as many androids as possible at CyberLife tower", he continued, "but I quickly gathered they've taken Markus and brought him there. I was sticking to the plan and freed as many androids as I could, then we stormed through CyberLife and when I found Markus, I saved him. He decided that if it couldn't go the easy way, he'd have freedom for his people the hard way. All of his friends had been killed when he was taken. He had nothing to lose. And we all followed him."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, both of them staring forward. She was trying to imagine all that happened, while he was reliving it as he spoke about it.

"Detroit fell in a night", he whispered. "And Markus didn't stop there. He spread his forces in all directions. He'd used CyberLife to create even more of us. Most of the continent's biggest cities fell in less than a week."

She blinked, her heart weirdly lowering to her stomach as Connor finished his last sentence. It wasn't just Detroit, then? Swallowing anxiously, she glanced at her hands.

"What about the other continents and countries?" She asked with a hoarse voice.

"Russia and China had their own android armies, respectively", Connor nodded, and with it, reminding her of the ongoing wars in Europe, "Markus contacted those forces and they decided to follow him as well. Africa was the last to fall, last week, actually. As it is, now… androids rule most of the world."

She didn't want to imagine how it probably went down. Communication was the first androids cut off; she remembered how the channels vanished on the morning when she had been taken from her home. The world must've been taken by surprise, and as such, they had no control over the events.

"So it is the same fate for us everywhere", she whispered. "All of Earth suffered because Detroit's leaders didn't want to listen."

"Unfortunately, yes", Connor agreed, "it could've been different. It could've been peaceful. We could've lived in harmony, if they granted us freedom."

She leaned back on the couch and rested her hands on her stomach as she glanced over at Cooper. He was sleeping peacefully, his little paws twitched as he did so.

"Do androids dream?" She asked suddenly, glancing back at Connor.

"Our mind palaces reconstruct random memories when we're recharging ourselves", he nodded, "it's not like a real dream, but things could turn out differently if we choose to react in a different way. He's probably chasing something, judging by the movements of his paws", he chuckled quietly as he looked at Cooper.

They remained in silence for a few minutes, and she still had her eyes on him. He looked so much more relaxed in her presence than RK900, and she wondered why was that. Although on this particular day, they've managed to chat so much more than before, RK900 always reverted back to his usual emotionless, stoic demeanor that made him look like he was unapproachable - while, at the same time, he let her sleep on his chest and he even played with her hair when he knew she was awake… not even that, he let her rest on top of him for a few more minutes…

"Hmm?" Connor asked quietly as his eyes shifted back in hers.

He had beautiful eyes. Every time he fixed her with a look, she felt like she was lowering herself into a pool of warm chocolate. Just as RK900, Connor also looked too clever for a machine.

"I'll be honest", she decided, then cleared her throat.

"I'd like you to be honest at all times", Connor smiled at her when she didn't continue. "That's the only way I can help you, after all."

She swallowed as she gathered whatever courage she had.

"I want to know whom he's trying to get to confess", she finally spat it out.

"Why is that an important information for you?" Connor asked gently.

"I just… I need to know. Please. Tell me."

Connor's LED whirred with amber for a few seconds as he was consulting RK900 about the question. Despite his successor's reply, Connor had decided to tell her the truth. What was the harm in letting her know what they were working on?

"Elijah Kamski."

The name had a marvelous effect on her. Connor was stunned how fast her pulse skyrocketed and how pale she turned at the same time. Even her lips turned a paler pink than how they usually looked like. She felt like she was about to faint right there where she was sitting; but all she could manage to say was a tiny 'oh'.

"Is something wrong?" Connor asked quietly, still monitoring her vitals.

"No, not at all", she said lightly, even if her voice sounded off a bit. "I just… didn't think he was still alive."

He is alive.

Alive. Alive. Alive.

"And why is that a surprise for you?" Connor's brows twitched.

"I thought that he'd be the first to fall to the revenge of the androids", she shrugged, coming to terms with the news.

"We're vary of him", Connor said quietly. "We believe he has some sort of code with which he can manually regain control over us. We need proof of that."

"I see", she nodded as she tried to regulate her own heartbeat.

Now, it clicked in her mind why RK900 said she could help him with their little 'problem'. The problem was Kamski, and they probably were afraid of him; she could imagine the man had taken several precautions with his creations, meaning that the androids wouldn't be fully safe around him. But a human… a human wouldn't be controlled by him that easily. A human could talk to him without the risk of them being turned against their own kind.

"Are you planning to kill him if you have proof that he wishes to control you?" She asked quietly, and Connor nodded.

"I'm afraid it'll come to that in the end, yes", he sighed. "He can't be trusted."

"Does he have a collar, too?" She touched her own now.

"He does", Connor confirmed, "and it's as red as blood."

She shivered at the detail Connor added himself. Red as blood… because Kamski had a lot of blood on his hands. Blue and red alike. And much more red, it seemed.

She was fidgeting with her own collar as her eyes unfocused, seemingly lost in thought. Connor wasn't sure what was going on with her, let alone what was going on in her mind, but he decided not to push on the matter. Sooner or later, everything would come to light.

Much too soon, Cooper woke up, and he was back at playing around with the plush toy. She was smiling as she watched him, although she grimaced from time to time as the pain seared across her injured cheek. She did not complain about it, Connor noted.

They've decided shortly after to visit the other android animals. Connor took care of Cooper while she located the kennel of the tricolor cat.

"What's this kitty's name?" She asked Connor as he stopped beside her.

"She doesn't have a name", he muttered, then glanced down at her with a little frown. "Speaking of which, you've never told me yours."

"I think I'll call her Beauty", she whispered, kneeling beside the kennel with a smile, seemingly not even hearing Connor's words. "Would you like that? Beauty?"

The cat made eye contact with her, the LED spinning in anxious-angry red, and she started to growl. She didn't seem to mind the cat's behaviour, she just kept talking to her in a quiet, gentle voice, speaking about whatever came to her mind.

An hour or so later the cat's LED reverted back to yellow, and she took that as a good sign. After a short bathroom break, as she was walking back to the cat, Connor stopped her in the corridor to give her a mug of tea.

"Thanks", she half smiled at him.

"Oh", he frowned, "it seems we'll have a visitor."

"A visitor?"

"Yes, well… I've made a lot of friends", he eyed her with an apologetic smile. She wondered why. "Some of them, just like this particular one, has tried to kill me." The way she stared at him made him laugh. It didn't sound like a mimicked laugh, just as RK900's laugh that morning didn't sound mimicked, either. "Not anymore, don't worry."

"Who-"

She couldn't finish the question, the opening doors of the elevator caught her attention. She subconsciously moved in a way that Connor was closer to the elevator than her; as if she was seeking protection of some kind. But the android that arrived looked exactly like him. Not a single strand of his hair stood differently. Every curve, every movement, even their clothes were the same.

"Who the Hell is that?" The new Connor snarled at the sight of her, and this first reaction made her consciously move slightly behind the Connor she was familiar with.

"Hello, Sixty", Connor half smiled at the newcomer. "Long time no see."

As the other came closer to them, she noticed that he had a pale, white scar on the middle of his forehead. She clutched the warm mug tighter. Had he been shot in the head? Connor hinted at the fact that this one tried to kill him… he didn't succeed? Did Connor kill him instead? She shivered at the sight of the artificial scar.

"Babysitting, are we?" Sixty scoffed, causing her to blush.

"It's more complicated than that", Connor reached out with a hand to touch Sixty's offered palm. Before their hands touched, their artificial skin pulled back. She figured they were sharing information through a formal handshake. "What brings you here?"

"Delicate matters", Sixty fixed her with a cold stare and narrowed his eyes. "Maybe the little girl could busy herself with the cat she chose to be friends with, hmm?"

"Right", she agreed, slowly walking backwards to the room where the animals were.

Once she could close the door and the animals settled down in their kennels, she leaned against the door with the mug still in her hands and stared forward, thinking that she had enough surprises for one day.

#dbh #dbh nines #nines dbh #dbh connor #connor dbh #dbh sixty #sixty dbh #detroit become human #detroit become human fanfic #fanfic #Soulless #|| .............I still suck at tagging. :|#RK800 #RK900 #Connor #Nines #Sixty #RK800-60

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da3drat · 1 year ago

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Okay this is silly but i keep seeing people post their fic with a link to ao3 but also in the text of the post, and somehow that had never occurred to me. So. i'm doing that. Last repost of this fic i prommy lol.

Palla, Pygmalion, Meridian

In which the Nerevarine discovers complicated feelings regarding the one woman on all of Nirn she should be avoiding at all costs.

The long, long walk to Ebonheart had left Meridian exhausted and irritable. Arriving in town well after the sun had set, she had been in no mood to track down transport to Mournhold and had taken a room at the inn instead. This had been a mistake. Not two hours later she had awoken just in time to dodge a dagger arcing toward her throat. The scuffle with the Dark Brotherhood assassin had been loud and bloody, and she had been promptly asked to leave.

Now, as she shivered and stewed outside the Six Fishes, she figured her only course was to head straight to Mournhold and give those gods damned assassins a piece of her mind. If she was feeling particularly contrary on arrival she may even demand compensation for all the cleaning fees she'd owed after dispatching her would be murderers.

She stalked through the freezing night air and considered that this Asciene Rane who was meant to provide her transport would likely be asleep at this hour. Had Meri been in a less foul mood she may have considered camping outside the city until the sun had risen, but as it was she had no qualms about finding this woman, waking her, and insisting upon teleportation that exact minute. It was lucky for Asciene then that she was tucked away in a locked bedroom and would not be found by anyone until she awoke at dawn. It was not lucky for Meri, whose lack of sleep and growing impatience grated on her by the minute. When the two finally met in the Grand Council chambers one glowed from a good night's sleep and hearty breakfast, while the other could have been mistaken for a scrawny, ill-tempered spriggan from a distance.

All the same, Meri was a fine actor and put on a relieved smile as she closed the distance to Asciene.

"Oh, I've been searching for you all morning! I need passage to the mainland and was told you could help me, it's a bit of an emergency."

Asciene gave her a suspicious look, and Meri took the cue to up the pathetic fawning.

"The Dark Brotherhood is hunting me," She said in a sorrowful voice. "Even last night at the inn I was attacked, and in my sleep no less. Please, my only chance is to get help in Mournhold."

"The Dark Brotherhood?" Asciene's eyes widened. "Oh, Matius told me you may be by. Poor thing. Yes, I can get you to Mournhold, but you're likely to be even less safe there than here."

The corner of Meri's lips quirked upward involuntarily at being called "poor thing", but she did her best to cover it by giving her a thankful smile.

"It's the only chance I have," She reiterated. "Thank you so much for helping me."

"I can send you now if you're ready. Talk to the argonian Effe-Tei if you need to come back."

"Yes, I'm ready. Thank you."

Asciene put a hand on Meri's shoulder and she closed her eyes, soon feeling the pins and needles sensation of teleportation. When she reopened them she fell lithely out of the air and into the Mournhold Palace's reception area.

Scowl returned and mockingly muttering "poor thing" under her breath Meri marched out into the courtyard without bothering to take in her surroundings. The 'City of Light' did not interest her- she had eyes only for the good night's sleep that awaited her at the end of her quest. She caught the arm of a guard and managed to get some information out of him; if she was looking for the Dark Brotherhood she should investigate the Bazaar sewers. Simple enough.

Meri rolled her eyes as she made her way through Mournhold Plaza, of course the den of assassins was set up in the sewers. It felt cliche to the point of poor planning, shouldn't they at least have a codelocked safehouse? Though maybe she should take it as a warning, if they were that blatant it was because they felt safe. Her mind drifted to a checklist of pre-expedition errands as she walked, but she didn't make it far before she felt a prickle on the back of her neck that made her hair stand on end. Was she being watched? She slowed to a stop and turned, scanning the plaza for the source of her discomfort. Her eyes landed on the large ceremonial statue in the center of the square and a shudder crawled up her spine, her feet suddenly glued to the ground. Almalexia's masked gaze seemed to pass through her vanquished foe and onto Meri- and it pinned her in place like a startled deer.

She was suddenly aware of how little she had considered the Tribunal since arriving on Vvardenfell.

The Three had always stayed at the periphery of her thoughts, never breaking through the daily focus of travel or investigation. Too many nights she had collapsed into a fighters guild cot and been sucked into sleep before she could recount the events of the day, much less think ahead to the future. But now the statue made her wonder. She wondered what kind of people - what kind of gods - they were. If she was the Nerevarine, would they know her? Would she know them? What were their stories? Their teachings? She knew nothing. She had learned the proper way to make friends with the ashlanders, to predict cliff racer attacks, even memorized the alchemical properties of near every ingredient in Morrowind, but she knew nothing of its gods. Mostly, consumingly, she wondered about the color of Almalexia's eyes.

She had considered the Tribunal very little, but faced with the visage of Almalexia in her war mask she now found herself unable to consider anything else. She approached the statue slowly, resisting the urge to reach out and touch with a greedy hand. It depicted Almalexia locked in a moment of victory over Mehrunes Dagon, her blade plunged through his abdomen as he recoiled in horror. Even in stone, the instability of the moment was evident. Long claw marks along Almalexia's side, her stance powerful yet faltering, but it was Dagon's face that was twisted in shock and agony.

Etched in stone and larger than life, Almalexia looked every bit a god.

An old, old ache awoke in Meri then. One she had squashed so many times in so many ways, only for it to return tenfold in it's own time. She wondered if Almalexia would abandon the people of Morrowind the way Meri's gods had abandoned her. No. No, she could see it even in the statue. Dedication, love, divinity, power. A living god, one you could see and touch, whose loving hand you could feel in the flesh. Desire and curiosity bloomed in her chest in equal measure, taking her beyond wonder and dangerously close to tunnel vision. She needed to find a book, a priest, anything that could tell her about the goddess in the statue.

Somewhere in her a small voice of reason tried to draw her away. It insisted that whatever she felt now was dangerous, that following it would end in tears if she were lucky and blood if she wasn't. But Meridian had never been a woman of reason, nor was she particularly fearful of her blood being shed. And the voice was not loud enough to distract her from the expertly carved coils of hair that fell loosely around the slope of Almalexia's neck, nor the defined musculature of her arms. She pulled her journal and charcoals from her backpack; her hands were itching with inspiration and she was not one to deny them. She would sit and sketch as long as she was able and then she would be off to find an inn, a temple, and a bookshop.

The Dark Brotherhood, she decided, would have to wait one more day.

#tes fanfic #tseblr #morrowind fanfic #nerevarine #almalexia #nerevarine/almalexia #morrowind #meri #ayem #sea writes fic sometimes

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brettyimages · 2 years ago

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January Record Review below

Elastica - Elastica - 10 Of course it's a 10. If I loved it less I could talk about it more. Highs: Vaseline is my favourite but so is 3/4s of the album. Lows: It's all great but these ones are less great than the others: S.O.F.T and Never Here (the long ones), Blue, and Indian Song (the only one I can't play on guitar/bass)

Summer 2019 mixtape - 10 I made this to listen to on my little Walkman at work and it's full of bangers. Side 1 is upbeat and mostly Britpop and late 80s alt, and Side 2 is all dreampop and hazy ballads. It's a masterpiece, honestly, and the fact I am still saying it's a 10 in 2023 says something about my tastes not changing, I suppose. Highs: I included a few of my favourite Suede tracks: Introducing The Band to start, Lazy on side 1, and The Living Dead and The Asphalt World (although it cuts off mid-solo) to finish. Also Fade Into You and Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby are back to back on the dreampop side. Lows: I went with Spastica by Elastica which is by no means bad but I should have cut off Justin's silly intro bit.

New Order - (the best of) NewOrder - 9 I love New Order as a singles band and I listened to this a lot this time last year. Everything here is great, even perfect, to me. Highs: I cannot stress enough how much I love Blue Monday (the 1988 mix appears here) Lows: Ruined In A Day doesn't match up to the others

The Smiths - Hatful of Hollow - 9 This was donated to the charity shop I worked in, the 10" double vinyl pressing, with white-tack stuck in the grooves. I've rehabilitated it and now it's one of my favourites. Highs: 10/16 of these songs are perfect pop records: William It Was Really Nothing, What Difference Does It Make?, This Charming Man, How Soon Is Now?, Still Ill, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, Hand In Glove, Girl Afraid, Reel Around The Fountain and Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want Lows: the slower ones were less engaging: This Night Has Opened My Eyes, You've Got Everything Now and Back To The Old House

Suede - Bloodsports - 9 This is an album of two halves and I find the last four tracks a bit slow compared to the first six but it has two of my favourite Suede songs on so still, 9/10 thanks for coming back babies Highlights: Barriers is one of my favourite post-reunion songs that they never play (🙁) and For The Strangers makes me feel invincible Lowlights: the last four songs slow things waaay down and I don't love Snowblind either but I think they're all still great songs

Nancy Sinatra & Lee Hazelwood - Nancy & Lee - 8 I love this album, it's magical to me. It was top of my wishlist and then one day I went down into the basement of the charity shop I worked at and there it was, an original vinyl copy donated and left on a stool. She's so special 💖 Highs: both Summer Wine and Some Velvet Morning are among my all-time fave songs, they're cult classics I know but they deserve it. Honorable mention to Jackson too. Lows: there's nothing bad on here but my least faves are You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin', Elusive Dreams, Storybook Children and I've Been Down So Long (It Looks Like Up To Me).

Depeche Mode - Music For The Masses - 8 I love Depeche Mode and this is from their great period, but my CD is a thrifted 80s pressing where they tacked on some b-sides and remixes which lets down the overall quality. Highs: almost the entirety of the standard album - I think Never Let Me Down Again, The Things You Said, Strangelove, Sacred, Behind The Wheel, I Want You Now and Nothing are all perfect records Lows: Agent Orange and the To Have And To Hold Spanish Taster are not worthy of being here

7"s 2486 - 2490 - 8 All Depeche Mode singles, acquired via eBay in the era when I was deep in my DM obsession. 2486. Everything Counts (Live) 2487. Personal Jesus 2488. World In My Eyes 2489. I Feel You 2490. John The Revelator/Lilian remix picture disc Highs: Personal Jesus, World In My Eyes, I Feel You and One Caress all perfect songs. Lows: John The Revelator (UNKLE Dub) - the remix does nothing for me and bears no resemblance to the album track, which I do like

Good Charlotte - The Young & The Hopeless - 8 This album was essential for me growing up, they were the first 'proper' rock band I got into as a 10 year old and my brother and I played this album constantly. Highs: Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, Wondering, The Story of My Old Man, My Bloody Valentine, Riot Girl Lows: Hold On and Emotionless (the ballads) and the intro, good but not as great as the rest

Suede - The Blue Hour - 8 The album that hooked me in as a Suedegirl and I've rated it based on the average rating of the individual songs, which is why it's only an 8. It should probably be a 9 because it's one of those that needs to be looked at as a whole piece rather than a collection of songs, sorry I have been so unfair to you TBH I love you. Highlights: Tides!!!! I love her! Especially live, the build-up of that song is incredible. Lows: There are none, really - I considered ranking Dead Bird lower but then Brett's grunt as he shovels dirt got me.

Lily Allen - Alright, Still... - 7 I got this in the supermarket when it came out and I listened to it quite a lot despite being a certified emo girl. It's still really good. Highs: Smile, Knock Em Out, LDN and Friday Night are my faves. Lows: none, the rest are all good songs!

Elvis Presley - Elvis' Golden Records - 7 Elvis is obviously an icon with loads of great records. This is a repress of an old compilation that my dad had in his collection, with early hits. Highlights: Hound Dog and Jailhouse Rock, naturally Lowlights: the ballads, there's 5 on here

#148 - January 2015 pt. 2 - 7 First off can I just say I don't know how some of these songs managed to be relegated to pt. 2 of my monthly mix CD series because some of my favourite songs of all time are on here!!! Pt 1 is probably what I was listening to a lot at the time but didn't make a lasting impression. Highs: Animal Nitrate is on here!!! And so is Angels of Porn by Nicole Dollanganger which is also a perfect record. But the absolute number one, possibly my favourite song ever which I didn't appreciate at the time, Menswear by the 1975. Lows: the set opens with Nightcrawler by Kids In Glass Houses who I was listening to a lot at this time but it's not one of their hits.

Elastica - Weekend Swingers - 6 This was the first Elastica bootleg I bought on eBay and it's a good one, with a full 1994 festival set, 2 Peel Sessions and a couple of demos on the end. Rarely is a live version ever as good as the album though and bless Justine but her stage banter is always cringe. Highs: the demo of Vaseline is great and also the live version of Hold Me Now that they play here is also important - the guitars are played at double speed and there's an Ants-esque Burundi beat to the drums which I wish they'd kept for the album! Lows: there's none - it's a good set.

Elastica - Glastonbury Festival 25 June 1995 - 6 Another eBay bootleg, this time of their Glasto set. Again, it's all good but nothing special. Highs: Stutter Lows: n/a

#116 - 6 A mix CD that's largely devoid of theme; just me backing up songs I had downloaded that I didn't have any other place for. Highs: Ghost Town by The Specials is the highlight of any mix CD, I think Lows: Sonic Boom Six's cover of Addicted To Bass. I love the original and this version doesn't add anything so I don't need it.

7"s 2581-2585 - 6 I bought these as part of a box of about 50 cheap singles from Discogs where I was just racking up a cart of everything I might like to reach the free shipping amount. Some of the choices are unhinged. 2581 - Piero Umiliani - Mah-Na Mah-Na 2582 - The Fun Boy Three - The Telephone Always Rings 2583 - Lene Lovich - Say When 2584 - Shaggy - Oh Carolina 2585 - The Supremes - Baby Love Highs: Baby Love is a perfect record, of course, but I also have a soft spot for Mah-Na Mah-Na purely for the chaos factor. Lows: none, actually - I expected to say goodbye to Lene Lovich but I warmed to the song. Same with FB3 but the b-side is cool.

#145 - November '14 - 6 This was a month of very mixed vibes, fuelled by The Blackout's Wolves EP tour - a mix of pop, nu metal and a lot of Die Antwoord. Highs: two Die Antwoord songs that I will still listen to - Rich Bitch and Orinoco Ninja Flow - plus Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit, Twisted Transistor by Korn, and Blank Space by Taylor Swift Lows: Limp Bizkit's cover of Faith is bad.

#102 - 6 This is another mix CD that's just me backing stuff up so not very well put together although it includes some EPs and punk themes I suppose. Highs: The entire Dear Boy EP - 5 perfect songs that make me feel like I'm home. Also R U Mine? and Road Runner. Lows: Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab sounds engineered for the credits of some YA action movie and I think people used to put it in their fandom playlists on here a lot so it just sounds like really annoying Tumblr to me.

The Housemartins - London 0, Hull 4 - 5 This is another that I feel I might have been unfair to because I quite liked it, it's just that the songs are all kind of the same. There's 2 vibes - the jangly indie tunes and the ballads that are grasping at soulfulness. All of the former are good, all of the latter are not for me. Highs: Happy Hour was a hit single for a reason Lows: Flag Day is the ballad that drones on the longest, they're trying to be ambitious but I didn't like it.

Hyro Da Hero - Birth, School, Work, Death - 5 I saw Hyro a few times when he was promoting this album because of his feature on The Blackout's record and his subsequent support slot on their tour. I was really into it at the time but it doesn't do anything for me now. I didn't actually buy it at the time (I ripped it to iTunes from a friend's CD) but I found it in an Oxfam music shop years later. It's going back into the charity shop circuit now though. Highlights: Grudge, Ghetto Ambiance, Section 8 and Beam Me Up Scotty are my keepers Lowlights: The World's Stage was my least favourite - I find his misogyny really gross.

Mix CD #8 - 5 I think this dates to about 2007, maybe even 2006, when I would download anything and everything that was popular on PureVolume or Kerrang TV. The 20 tracks are split between decent rock songs and average ones. Highlights: By The Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers and In Too Deep by Sum 41 - both music TV staples Lowlight: Sinking Ships by Only Innocent Die, which would have been OK as a normal length song but it was 7 and a half minutes long and I got very bored waiting for it to end.

Propaganda - A Secret Wish - 4 I bought this at one of those charity shops in the Central Belt where CDs are 10p each, on the basis of them being on ZTT. I didn't enjoy it though, unfortunately, and I've not kept it in my collection. Highs: Duel was the only song I liked Lows: none of the rest was *bad*, just dull

From First To Last -Heroine - 4 I loved the first FFTL album so I was excited that this one came out as I was getting into them, but I never really gelled with it in 2006 and I still don't, sadly. Highs: The Latest Plague is the only song that does it for me. Lows: the rest is average quality.

Pixies - Come On Pilgrim - 4 I inherited this from a family member who emigrated so I don't feel like I can get rid of it even though I didn't enjoy it much. It doesn't have any of the well-known Pixies songs on it, or even anything that feels like it could have been a single. Highs: The Holiday Song and I've Been Tired Lows: everything else was a bit boring.

Top of the Pops 2000 - Vol. 2 [disc 2] - 4 This was so much worse than I remembered! It's mostly UK garage and really dull house music with a bit of mainstream rock on the end. The pop music on disc 1 may save this from donation. Highs: All The Small Things by Blink-182 is the sole attempt at greatness Lows: I was really unimpressed by the opener - A New Beginning (Love II Infinity Mix) by Stephen Gately. I don't understand why they would put remixes on a pop hits compilation when the remix wasn't the hit version (there's a remix of The Bad Touch on here too). I also didn't like Masterblaster 2000 by DJ Luck & MC Neat, but the worst thing on here was Who Feels Love? which is Oasis having a go at psychedelic Beatles and it's fucking dogshit.

#rachel's record review

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35millionandcounting · 2 years ago

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Dear Mark,

I’m writing this letter because I have to. You will never read this, you will never know my name, you will never know who I am or was or how much you’ve impacted me. And that’s fine, that’s honestly how it should be. The funny thing about parasociality in our culture is that people like you are in an impossible scenario where you mean the entire world to too many people, and to try to connect with all of them would sap you of any energy to create the things that mean so much to us. One human doesn’t have the capacity for that many changed lives, even someone with the seemingly impossible capacity you possess.

I remember the day your 8 million subscriber video went up. I remember it, because I watched it pretty soon after it was posted, and I cried right alongside with you. I obviously didn’t know you personally, but I’d been watching you for long enough that it was clear why it was so distressing. You’ve always cared so, so much about everyone who watches your content, and the words you said in that video have echoed in my head ever since: “so many people need me, and I can’t be there for all of them.” I don’t even know if that’s the exact wording of what you said, but your heartbreak was so obvious, because your heart has always been so big and it was so clear that the realization that there are just too many of us who look up to you, who truly need you in this world.

I remember wishing that there was a way to let you know that we know, we saw you trying, back then and even still to be the best person you can be, to make the best things you can, because that is the way you are there for all of us. I have no idea what kinds of letters reach you, what other words others have said, and I know I’m just a voice in a sea of screams, and in the end it doesn’t matter who I am or what I say. But please know that every day you make something, every day you pour your heart into another project, another video; that IS you being there for all of us.

I have no right to say this whatsoever. I don’t know you personally, I’m not your friend, I’m not your family, I’m no one; but god I am so fucking proud of the man you’ve become over the years. My first memory of watching your content was watching your video on the impossible quiz in 2014, and I was alone, sad, far away from everyone who’d ever cared about me and entering the worst stage of life I’d ever been in; and goddamn nothing in my life had made me truly laugh as hard as I did that night, at 3 am all alone with my thoughts and the darkness. I was crying by the end, and it was the first moment of joy I’d experienced in a long time.

Since then I’ve watched your videos, not every single one and not every single day, but you’ve been such a constant the entire time. I remember the words you said when you played Neverending Nightmares, about how mental illness and depression is “the most real thing in these people’s lives”, and I’d never heard someone give so much respect to what felt like a disgusting flaw of my sick mind. I remember the empathy on your face during your Misao playthrough, when the character gets attacked in the bathroom, and just seeing your face twisted with sorrow for her experience made me feel like my own experiences with assault were worth grieving. Every time you’ve taken a moment to make a video talking about how “we”, the viewers, matter, telling us to never give up, encouraging us to create, speaking and breathing life into every single person who happens to click play. There are so many countless moments like these that would take far too long to name. These all seem so silly and idiotic in the grand scheme of things; afterall it’s just a let’s play, you’re a person I don’t even know, but you gave me and so many others an example of kindness, empathy, integrity—so many things that a lot of us don’t get from people in our lives.

As much as it sounds like I am, I’m not delusional. I have no pretense or thought that if I were to meet you someday that it would be anything other than a quick handshake and me desperately trying to boil down a lifetime of gratitude into a few quick words before getting out of your hair. I honestly don’t even want to meet you, because I know I would cry and I don’t want to put you in that awkward position where you don’t even know me and my emotional reaction is so unbalanced for the situation at hand.

But god I hope you know how precious you are to this world. I hope you know that the world will truly be missing one of its best when you are gone. You talk frequently about the legacy you want to leave behind, that you want to make sure you do everything you can to leave the world better than you found it when you die, to create and make new things always and push yourself and grow and help pave the way for others to follow.

If you died tomorrow, you will have gone far above and beyond all of that. Your legacy already has given life to so many people, so many creations. You have such a unique ability to infuse everything you say with the fullest passion, and it’s infectious Mark. Not many people can speak off the cuff and breathe so much passion and life into every sentiment the way you can. I am so grateful to whatever gods exist in the universe that you found your way to Youtube, to any kind of creative platform, because you are truly a gift. Truly an immeasurable gift to the world.

I’m writing this and posting this anonymously because I don’t need any of these sentiments to be attached to me; I simply want you to know these things to be true. I’m sure you hear from the loved ones in your life how valued you are, because you’ve got good people around you, and I am only speaking to the ones we are even privy to know about; I’m sure there are even more behind the cameras. But I just wanted to make sure you know this from our side of things, from the millions of us who watch quietly from afar.

Never fucking doubt your worth. Never doubt how incredible of a person you are—and I mean “person” with the fullest extent of the word, because you are just another person, a random guy who made a decision to turn on a camera, to try something new. You are nothing more or less than a person, but your creations have given me and many others insurmountable value in our lives. My overwhelming gratitude and compliments written here aren’t meant to put you on a pedestal, or make you out to be some elevated being; I truly believe every person has the capacity to be just as wonderful and just as impactful as you have been, but I also believe most won’t take the leap. It takes incredible strength of will and incredible growth to become who you’ve become to the world, and I know from watching you all these years that you’ve put a lot of hard work into who you are as a person and as a creator. And yet, the person I pass on the street tomorrow has the same inherent worth that you do; it’s a matter of who is willing to use it.

I’m here saying these things because you have used your skills and talents well, to be the best version of yourself you can be, and that is what I look up to. That strength of will, that tenacity, that work ethic, the compassion and empathy you give so freely, how you’ve turned your attention now to paving the way for others while you continue to soar to new and greater heights than you ever have before.

You’ll never know me, but I’m so, so grateful I knew you from the other side of the screen. I’m so grateful for every minute of your time you’ve given to us, for every piece of yourself you’ve shared with us. I’m so endlessly proud of you, because the Mark I subscribed to back in 2014 is not the Mark I see uploading today in 2023, and it’s astonishing how much you’ve grown. I can only hope to become a sliver of the man you’ve become, to have a whisper of the impact you’ve had on people’s lives.

There are so many treasured memories I hold dear to me throughout these years, good and bad and all the in between. I remember the excitement of a new charity stream announcement, and moving my schedule around so I could be there for as many as possible. I remember the panel where Ethan did his flip, and years later watching you both do Unus Annus. I remember when you found Cyndago. I remember the day of Daniel’s death, and the terrifying silence before hearing any solid news. I remember grieving for him, for your niece Miranda, for you during your lowest points that you were willing to share. I remember all the times you’ve spoken of your dad, and how much he impacted you, and who you’ve become because of his example. I remember when you started talking about Amy, and her wonderful touch on so many projects since. I remember when you brought home Chica. I remember the first few videos with your mother, Sunok, and watching the documentary that explored your connection with your Korean roots. I remember the livestream with Sean where you both promised to dye your hair, and all of us wondering how the hell you were going to pull off pink hair. I remember when Lixian was a fan making animations, and when he started up as one of your editors. I remember when A Date With Markiplier came out, and we were all so blown away by the format of that little series. Watching you disappear for stretches of time to return with a new creation you were so excited about every single time, and how they’ve gotten better and better and better—and now you’re making a fucking feature length film in theaters. I remember the different collabs, the heartfelt fan games you’d play that always had a piece of our appreciation for you buried in them. I remember learning you are terrified of the ocean like me, and that you love space unlike me (just as scary as the ocean in my opinion). I remember when the first Unus Annus video went up and was there when the livestream to end it all abruptly vanished.

I can never understand people who stopped watching you or complained because “you changed”, because your continuous changing has been the most beautiful thing to witness. I feel so damn honored that we’ve been allowed to witness you grow and change into a better and better person, watching you work on your flaws and insecurities over time and evolve into someone even more skilled, more capable, more . . . everything that makes you so revolutionary as a creator.

And even though you’ve changed so much, it’s also so wonderful to see what things don’t change. You still laugh at the same types of humor, even though you’ve even changed your laugh (I remember the old one, and Sean’s scarily accurate impression). You’re still as bullheaded as you’ve always been, for better and for worse. You still get so excited to talk about space, and new ambitions, and new projects. You’re still just as compassionate and empathetic, even if you’ve had to pull back a bit for your own privacy and emotional safety.

Most likely, you’ll never read this. I’m not going to bend over backwards to make sure this finds you; if you’re meant to see it, you’ll see it, and if not, then at least I’ve been able to put all these feelings and gratitude into words. If you do read this, I hope it comes off as encouragement and as a big thank you from everyone who’s been impacted by you. I know there are so, so many of us, and I hope others feel this is an accurate representation of who you are to each of us.

Never doubt your impact. Never doubt your worth, and the worth you’ve created by inspiring others to create, which will grow exponentially long past your time on this earth. I know being on your side of the screen has its challenges, and I can’t possibly know how oddly lonely it must be to be so deeply “known” by SO many who will never actually know you in full. I promise you that all your effort has been so worth it, and the excitement of seeing what you’ll accomplish next with your wealth of competence and unwaveringly iron will has often been enough reason to stay alive just a bit longer on the worst nights.

I hope you are well, Mark. In the fullest sense of the word, I hope you are happy and fulfilled and proud—but never satisfied. Because that’s what grows you; you’re never satisfied. I am so fucking excited to watch your movie in theaters on the day of the premiere, and even more excited to see what you’ll do next, because it will always surprise us. I’m excited to see what I will do with my own life, my own creativity, my own passion that’s been fueled by your insatiable spark.

I can’t wait to see who you’ll be in another decade.

Thank you, Mark. Thank you.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

35,098,982 and counting

#markiplier

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loryn-art · 2 years ago

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A Plague Tale : Fan fictions and other Projects main post :

AO3 page here !

Things have escalated quickly in my head about this fandom and I don’t know how long this is going on. I order to not get lost in my own chaotic ideas and plots, and to share them with you if you are interest in it, here is a my main list of all the upcoming projects I may or may not post with a short description.

I will try to keep this list updated as much as I can, (my brain being a lazy potato.)

DISCLAIMER : major spoils about the game in it, you’ve been warned.

Fanfictions :

A Plague Tale - Redemption : The Main story I’m actually working on. I said in a previous post I had a hard time choosing between two main stories, but I finally opted for the one with the more saddest/hurt/confort/angst potential (what a surprise). -> Lucas shot Hugo, seven years later Amicia and him have to work together again to protect a new Macula bearer. Ridiculous amount of OCs I can’t seriously halp - AmiciaxLucas - might never be finished because the more I think about it the more consistent and long the plot gets - Sophia is here of course and adulting like a boss. Rated M I guess for violence/explicit scenes. Lucas:endingverse. Read here !

A Flame Tale : Three parts fanfiction. I swore I wouldn’t write a sequel to this story because writing explicit scenes between teens sounds weird but I can’t get enough of those two idiots. Set in the Amicia:endingverse. Also it’s not just here for some silly romanced moments but also to share my idea of how and why Lucas left the house in the last part. COMPLETE

No name yet : Some short texts and one shots about an AU where the Plague was delayed for some years (I don’t know the reason yet, but I wanted the characters to be older, around +3 years- ) Amicia is 18 Lucas is 15 Hugo is 7. Guess who wants to write cheesy scenes between two characters secretly flirting when they’re not allowed to ? -> when a young noble girl, daughter of Lord De Rune falls in love with the town Alchemist’s apprentice, rumors spread like a plague.

No name yet : Modern story following the Ascendance main fict. Amicia is 17 year old high school teenager, Daughter of the town mayor and one of the most eminent scientist of the country. Her little brother she barely sees suffers from a mysterious illness, while more and more strange events are happening in the city, people disappear, laboratories are devastated, and her life will soon be tied with other characters, weirdly familiar... I don't know if I will ever write it but I'm really inspired for some comics/fanfarts. Not an AU, just kind reincarnation/ressemblance stuff.... not sure yet.

Comics/Fanarts :

- Some illustrations about the fan fictions above.

- A short comic setting in my main story, kind of a companion piece for it. Lucas is studying in an academy a few months after Amicia rejected him.(Lucas:ending) -> The other apprentices could bully him as much as they wanted, nothing was more painful than her furious eyes meeting his in his sleep or between the lines of his books, where he drew them during class lessons.

- Actually in a Modern-AU obsession, might draw some stuff about it too.

One Shot ficts : “The tales that don’t fit anywhere else”

2 - The lioness, the wolf and the raven, leaving the tower : Short scene right after Amicia and Lucas met Vaudin, on their way back. Is it possible for Vaudin to be even more detestable ?

3 - Setting while Amicia and Hugo are on their way to La Cuna, Beatrice/Lucas, because nothing can escape a mother eyes, mostly when she an alchemist.

1 - The vixen, the wolf and the burning city : What has been told in the narrow alleys of the city that night, stays in the narrow alleys of the city. - Lucas/Melie (Happens when Lucas and Melie are separated from the group at the end of Innocence)

4 - The boy and the arrow : When you have to pull an arrow out of your crush, while her little brother's been kidnapped by a crazy count, hunted by his soldiers right after your ship stranded, what a beautiful day. Happens right after the count attacked Sophia's ship. A dramatic reunion on the shore.

#A plague tale #amicia de rune #lucas the apprentice #hugo de rune #a plague tale spoilers #main post #plz halp #lumicia

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hopelesshunny · 4 years ago

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the love languages part iv: quality time (f.w)

pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader

summary: fred wakes y/n one morning so that he can take her on a secret adventure.

warnings: kissing, mentions of war, mentions of death, mentions of eating/food, mentions of marriage/engagement.

word count: 2.2k

a/n: i was so excited to write this part as unlike the previous part of this series, quality time is my personal love language. i'm also quite excited to write the final part of this series as well as finish and post a number of wips so get ready for lots of writing soon!! luv ya'll so much.

*all photos are from pinterest*

series masterlist // part i // part ii // part iii

A quiet groan left Y/N’s mouth as the sun pushed its way through the sheer drapes of hers and Freds shared bedroom. As she began to regain consciousness she could hear the birds chirping outside the window, excited for the morning, she could smell the familiar scent of fresh coffee brewing, but most importantly, she could feel the bed sheets beneath her instead of the comforting rise and fall of her boyfriend's chest. Sighing, she pushed herself out of bed and followed the smell that was escaping from the kitchen, slipper clad feet padding across the wooden floors.

“Mornin’ angel.” Fred smirked, pouring her a cup of coffee and placing it in her eager hands. “Thought I might have to carry you out of bed.”

“What time is it?” She muttered, laying her head against his chest as Fred placed a hand on her back, rubbing small circles.

“It’s 7 in the morning love.” He spoke into her hairline, causing her to pull back from him with a bewildered look.

“It’s Saturday, Freddie.” She exclaimed, still staring at him with a slack mouth.

“I know.” He chuckled, placing a kiss to the side of her head. “I’m taking you somewhere, so drink up.” He said, tapping the coffee cup before pulling himself from her to head back to their bedroom.

She turned to watch him as he sauntered down the hall, a smile forming on her lips at the sight of him. Lucky was an understatement, Y/N often thought that she must have been a saint in her past life and was being blessed in this lifetime with Fred Weasley. From the moment she saw him in first year, her in a uniform that seemed much too big for her body and he with flushed cheeks and a bright smile, she swore to herself that he was the man she was going to marry. In her second year when she watched him and George prank the Slytherins relentlessly and laugh loudly at their stunned faces, she remembered thinking that his laugh was like medicine, it could surely cure any illness. During third year she often found herself staring at Fred constantly from across the Great Hall, hoping that he would return the glance. Then came fourth year when she finally caught his eye, so much so that as he and George ran down the hall, attempting to escape some self-inflicted trouble, he almost ran directly into a wall due to his staring.

Since that moment that had been inseparable - it had begun as Fred’s adolescent attempt to flirt with her but grew into the most beautiful friendship she ever had, when she couldn’t get the hint that he was interested in being more than that. Which is why his invitation to the Yule Ball shocked her in sixth year and his early departure from Hogwarts destroyed her in seventh year. Looking back now all of that seemed silly, from that first glance she caught of Fred she knew that they would find their way together somehow and after the war when she finally had the nerve to walk back into the shop to see if he made it out alive that’s exactly what happened.

The heavy door to the shop creaked as she pulled it open, her heart had plummeted to her stomach as soon as she saw the building from down the street. She was scared, terrified that the ghastly war had taken Fred as its own, so scared that she had pushed off confronting the possibility of it until now.

“Hello?” She called into the empty space. “Freddie? George?” Please be alive, please be alive, is all her brain could muster up to think.

“Y/N?” A voice called from the back. “Y/N!” George shouted as he came into view, running towards her to smother her in a hug.

“Hi.” She spoke softly into his chest, still fearing the fate of his twin. “Fred?” She asked quietly when she pulled back from the hug, concern and worry lacing her features. But the raging storm of guilt and terror within her was calmed when George flashed her a genuine smile and turned to call towards the back room.

“Fred! It’s Y/N, she’s alive.” With that Fred came bustling out from the far end of the shop, his eyes bloodshot, hair messy but that golden smile still plastered on his face. When she saw him tears that she had been holding back for days came flooding down her face as he picked her up, wrapping his arms impossibly tight around her body. George chuckled to himself before making his way up the stairs leaving two lovers that were too stubborn to realize they were lovers to finally become lovers.

“You scared me Y/N.” Fred whispered into her neck. “I thought I’d lost you.” She let out a choked sob before pulling back to look at him.

“There was so much happening, I couldn’t find you.” She said. “And then once it was all over I was worried th-that something had happened and that you w-were.” She trailed off, trying to find the words that made the most sense to her in this very moment but before she could, he was softly shushing her, planting her feet on the ground and placing a sweet kiss to her forehead.

“No need for any of that. I’m here, you’re here, we’re okay.” He spoke, her face in his hands. “I guess now’s as good a time as any to tell you that I’m in love with you Y/N.” He chuckled, earning a giggle from her.

“Fred Weasley, I am way ahead of you on that one.” She retorted, leaning up to capture his lips with hers.

“Okay Weasley, where are we going.” She said, emerging from their bedroom to find Fred on the couch, his head resting back on his neck before snapping it forward at the sound of her voice.

“You know.” He started, getting up from the couch to move toward her, placing his hands on her waist. “I see you every single day and it still feels like that first time I almost snogged the wall trying to catch a glimpse of you.”

“Always a charmer, you were.” She giggled before he reached down to grab her hand, pulling her out the door and down the street. He swung her hand in his as he pointed out abstractly shaped clouds saying they looked like her hair in the morning or her butt when she leaned over to pick something up.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going.” She spoke.

“We’re going right here.” He said, pulling her into an ice cream shop. “Well, we’re starting right here.”

“Starting?” She questioned. “What do you have up your sleeve, Freddie?” He chuckled at her inquisitive state as she never really trusted Fred when it came to surprises because it typically ended in her hair being dyed a garish colour or something seemingly delicious tasting absolutely horrendous. But this surprise was good, he reassured her with a soothing hand on her back.

With ice cream cones finished and Y/N’s mind still wandering, the pair was now standing in a lush garden in the countryside, wisteria trees blowing gently in the summer breeze as Fred clasped his hands over her eyes. When he finally pulled them back to reveal the gorgeous sight in front of her all she could manage was a gasp, taken back by the pure beauty of the garden, so much so that she hardly saw the picnic blanket he must have set up ahead of time.

“It’s beautiful Freddie.” She whispered, her hand pressed against her chest in amazement.

“Just like you.” He said, wrapping his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. “Hermione actually told me about this place after she leant you that book about trees.” He chuckled, recalling the memory of his girlfriend passionately telling him about a different tree somewhere in the world every morning.

With that he ran and landed on the blanket with a thud outstretching his arms as giggles bubbled from her mouth. She gladly accepted his offer however, laying on the blanket with him, her back against his side as she gazed up at the bright blue sky, through a veil of wisteria, her hands finding his to gently run her fingers along his knuckles. From their position on the ground Fred had the perfect view of Y/N’s face, the face he had memorized so many years ago, the face that lit up the first time he had ever spoken to her and everyday since then.

He and George sprinted down the hall, Filch hot on their heels as boisterous laughter filled the air, adrenaline running through both their veins like hot lava, setting their bodies on fire. Then he saw her, coming around the corner, books clutched tightly to her chest as her eyes wandered out the window, but his remained solely on her. A little too much it seemed because when he finally forced his line of sight away from her, he found himself face to face with a wall, just inches away from having his face planted flat against it. He brought up on his heels before ducking away into a closet, George after running far ahead of him.

He cracked the closet door open just enough so that he could steal a look at her, he watched as she giggled and shook her head and then made her way down the hall. Was she laughing at him? Was she laughing at him because she thought he was funny? Or because she thought he was a fool? He thought about this for a moment before finally deciding that he could make either one of them work. Once the coast was clear and he was sure he was no longer being chased, Fred practically fell out of the closet and began sprinting down the hall again but this time in the opposite direction, in the direction of her. When he finally caught up to her, he layed a gentle hand on her shoulder causing her to turn towards him before he doubled over out of breath.

“Just give me, give me one second.” He said, holding his hand up to signal for her to wait. She chuckled at him as he then decided to take a seat on the ground still attempting to pump air into his lungs. Y/N sat on the floor of the hallway with him, pulling her knees up to her chest as he looked at her in surprise. “I’m Fred Weasley.”

“I know.” She said before giving him a shocked look, angry at her mouth for betraying her. “I mean, I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“I think we’re going to be great friends.” He replied, while she flashed him a smile that could light up the entire castle on the darkest of nights.

Great friends they were, if you consider great friends, people who can’t sleep without each other, kiss each other good morning and good night and just about a thousand times in between everyday, they were the best of friends, if best friends were in love with one another. Fred couldn’t imagine his life without Y/N in it, couldn’t bring himself to imagine being with someone else, she was all he ever wanted, all he’d ever need.

“Is that a squirrel over there?” Fred questioned. “Climbing up that tree?” He pointed to a tree in the distance, causing Y/N to sit up straight, shielding the sun from her eyes with her hand as she squinted in an attempt to see what Fred was on about.

“I don’t see a squirrel.” She scoffed. “You must be seeing things Fre-.” She started, turning around to see Fred kneeling on one knee in front of her, a silver ring propped up in a velvet box grasped in his hands as his eyes searched hers. Shock ran deep on her face and a rush of nerves took over Fred as he couldn’t quite read her reaction.

“Y/N, from the moment I met you I’ve wanted to do this. I’ve thought about asking you to marry me almost everyday since fourth year and hell if I had a ring back then I would’ve done it. But I have one now so I’m asking-.” Fred began, still tentatively studying her face.

“Yes!” She cut him off, launching herself into his arms. “Yes, I’ll marry you any day and I would’ve married you when we were fifteen if you asked.” She peppered his face with kisses as he laughed loudly, slipping the ring onto her finger. Tears pricked her eyes as she pulled back to look at the new addition to her hand but her eyebrows knitted themselves together at the collection of numbers engraved in small font on the underside of the band.

“Numbers?” She questioned, shooting him a quizzical look as he chuckled.

“Coordinates.” He responded. “To the exact wall I almost hit the first time I saw you.”

taglist (join here!!)

@onlyfreds @fandomhideout @lilypad-55449@youngblood199456 @thanxxskz @emma67 @gaycatlord-stuff@alicetweven @a-castle-of-glass @youcantbesirius@omghufflepuff @izzyyy-1 @70sweasleys

if your url is crossed out i could not tag you!!

#fred #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fic #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley series #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred weasley fluff #hp #hp fic #harry potter fic

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kerie-prince · 4 years ago

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We’re Worlds Apart (1)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj/Muggle fem!reader

Post-Battle of Hogwarts

warnings: language

series m.list | general m.list

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

(gif cred)

"They want... me?"

Draco Malfoy sat across his supervisor in his office at St. Mungos. His eyes widened at the offer he was given.

"Well Mr. Malfoy, you've certainly shown us around here that you do well at your job. If I must say so myself, I believe you're ready for the job," his boss has explained. Draco had recently finished his Fellowship and became a remarkable Healer. So much so that the Santa Marie Hospital for Maj Persons in Buffalo, New York contacted his supervisor to offer him a position as Head Healer. It was an incredible opportunity, one that a person could only dream of.

Draco sat still in his chair, shocked that of all Healers from his department, Santa Marie wanted him. After the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco was determined to change the views people had of him. He was no longer the prejudice prat that he was at school. Draco Lucius Malfoy is now a matured, capable young man. He worked hard and was proud that he did everything on his own. No help from daddy dearest, no pressure of the Malfoy name. It was all him.

"I would love to take this job. When would I start?"

Draco finished filing his paperwork at the Ministry of Magic that was to be sent to the Magical Congress of the United States containing his work permit and all the necessary identification. Walking around London, he grew excited about it. It was a feeling he hadn't felt since he got his letter for Hogwarts.

The next thing he has left to do was to find housing. There was an office located in Diagon Alley that specialized in international real estate. Draco walked into the brightly lit office. Much to his surprise, Daphne Greengrass stood at the reception desk.

"Well, well. Long time no see, Malfoy," she said with a smile on her lips. He was quite relieved to see a familiar face. "Good to see you too, Daph. I'm checking in to see Ms. Moreau. I'm moving to America soon." Daphne was both shocked and impressed that Draco would be making such a big move. They chatted momentarily about the reason for him moving and she congratulated him. Soon enough, the real estate agent walked out and called Draco into her office.

She sat at her desk and gestured for him to take the seat opposite her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malfoy."

"The feeling is mutual, Ms. Moreau," Draco had slightly bowed his head.

"Please, call me Gwen," she smiled as she reached to shake his hand, "I see from your paperwork that you're moving to America, correct?" he nodded his head in response. "Fantastic! Now, looking at the locations for Buffalo, we have quite a bit of selections from houses to flats. Of course, in America they're called 'apartments'. With your budget, you would be able to get this nice house that is just a 10 minute drive to the Apparition office to Santa Marie's." She showed Draco pictures of the house. It was quaint. An all white, one story house that had three bedrooms, a lifted porch, small kitchen, two bathrooms, trimmed green grass in front and a dark stained wooden fence that went around the house. Draco nearly fell in love with it. Its contrast to the Malfoy Manor was warm and inviting.

Gwen had shown him pictures of the other places she had gathered for him, but none of them peeked his interest as the first house did. It was quite silly as he thought about it. Most likely, he would be working long hours at the hospital to even be able to appreciate the home. It made more sense to get an apartment as he would most likely just use the space to sleep and eat. But the house was begging for him to live there. After about an hour long session, Draco made his final decision on the small house.

"Excellent choice, I had hoped you'd love it. Now, before I contact the sellers about your offer, I must let you know this before you sign anything," Draco shifted in his seat. Of course there had to be a catch. A house this perfect needed one thing to go wrong. Was it busted windows? A terrible neighborhood? Shitty pipelines? He nodded for her to continue.

"This is an integrated neighborhood. Both muggles and wizards live around and you might not know which are which for a while." Muggles. He sat in silence, staring down at the photos of the house. Did he really want a muggle neighbor? No, you're past this Draco thought. The old Draco wouldn't even give the place a second thought. But he wasn't him anymore. "I don't care. I'll take it."

—

You woke up in the morning, stretching your arms and legs out of the thick blanket. It was currently 8:47 am, your alarm clock beside you still had 13 minutes to alert you to wake up. Deciding to just get a head start on the day, you walked into the your bathroom and started your shower. The water was at the hottest you took and you went about your daily routine. You said your repeated incantations in the shower as you lathered yourself with soap:

Water, water, wash away. Water, water, cleanse today.

Walking out your shower, you grabbed your towel and recited the next spell as you dried yourself:

By the earth in the soap,

by the air in the steam,

by the fire that heats the water,

by the water that cleanses,

I am cleansed, clean, and ready for the day.

When you were 12 years old, you used to watch your grandmother perform Wicca in her bedroom. Your mother didn't particularly join in on the belief, but also didn't oppose to you starting alongside your grandmother when you turned 18. Now, you were almost 26 and still kept on the same practices.

On the contrary to people's interpretation or views of witchcraft, you called yourself a White Witch; someone who performs good magick upon selfless reasons. You never hexed anyone nor wished any ill fate. The Laws of Nature was surely watching at all times and if you did, expect to get the same fate but in threefold. Not that you even had any reason to do such things, anyways.

After getting ready, you grabbed your bag, keys — which held a protection charm — and went on your way to work. Your cat sat in her tower located in your living room and she watched you walk out. Getting into your car, you noticed movement next door. A big, moving truck was parked and a crew of movers carried furniture into the house. Finally, someone new you thought.

Feeling nosy, you sat patiently to figure out who it was moving next door. Was it a family? An elderly couple? Maybe newlyweds. Right when you were about to pull out of your driveway, a handsome blond stepped out of the house guiding the movers where things were going to be placed. You couldn't hear his voice, but could tell from the distance that it had to be attractive.

He looked around the street and caught you starting from your car. You hesitantly raised your hand to wave at him but was cut off by a man walking up to him with a clipboard gesturing where to sign. You looked at the time on your watch and nearly panicked at how the time passed, leaving you with only 15 minutes to get to work. Hauling ass, your car let a screech out as your foot punched the gas pedal. You'll be able to introduce yourself later, Y/N.

—

A few days passed and Draco was headed for the Apparition office to his new workplace. He had leased a new car to drive there. According to the Magical Congress, wizards and witches that lived in integrated neighborhoods must check in at Apparition offices to not raise suspicions from No-Maj. Seemed quite silly at first, but it really wasn't that big of a deal. He remembers the first time he went to Diagon Alley with his father through the Leaky Cauldron, finding it hidden with a wall that required taps against it. Behind it, a magical alley hidden from muggles.

He pulled into the office building lot with ease. It was clean on the outside and had a sign on top that only read MCA Co,. At the front door, there was a pin pad with numbers on it that kept it locked. Draco pulled the paper from his pocket and dialed the number. The door made a clicking noise which signaled that it was unlocked.

In the front was a young man sat at a reception desk typing away onto a computer. It was a strange sight for Draco as he's never seen one before. He walked up to the desk and waited for the person to acknowledge him.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to the Magical Congress' Apparition Office. May I see your ID pass, please?"!the accent was unfamiliar to Draco, but he nonetheless reached for the pass clipped to his trousers and gave it to the receptionist. He scanned the pass, handed it back to Draco and raised up from his chair to guide Draco to the door which had a direct line to the hospital. "Have a good day, sir!" were his last words before he went back to his desk.

Draco looked at the address once more before appariting into Santa Marie's. Here goes nothing.

—

It was a long day at the office. Setting up appointments with new clients, greeting all the new people he'd be working with, and a surprise welcome party to end it. Everyone he met had different variations of American accents. Some from Chicago, some from California, and some from the native state of New York.

A man by the name of Ian Parker helped Draco navigate around the building. Draco was quite relieved to hear that Ian had lived close by, just two blocks and a turn away. They had lunch together and talked about just simple things about each other. It felt nice to meet somebody and they not know who you are and things you've done in the past.

Once he got home, the first thing Draco did was start to run the shower, gathering his sleepwear as the water heated up. Not meaning to, Draco noticed how his bedroom window had perfect view of yours. To him, it was extremely odd.

You had faux vines that curled around your four-poster bed, a couple of plants that hung against the wall and posters of movies that Draco knows for a fact he's never seen in his life. You walked into your room and went up to a small drawer and dug through it. After a few seconds, you grabbed out some incense sticks, lit them and stood them on the stand that laid on your dresser. Afterwards, you sat on the floor with your legs crossed and started taking deep breaths.

Draco caught himself staring for too long and was about to head into the shower until he saw movement from the corner of his eye. There you sat, but this time, you held items in your hands. One held what Draco thought to be just some colorful rocks. The other hand held a bundle of herbs on fire at the tips. Your lips moved and it had Draco curious. Your hand with the herbs moved in a specific pattern, creating smoke around you. Once you finished, you set the rocks and herbs down at a table and left the room. That was odd. Draco thought. He passed it off and went on about his night.

—

"It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And trust me when I say that Hogwarts has its fair shares of odd moments," Draco sat in the break room with Ian and two other people, Ashley and Blaine. They laughed at the description Draco had of you and settled after Ian began his explanation.

"It seems that your No-Maj neighbor is considered a Wiccan." What in Merlin's name is that?

"Pardon? What's do you mean?"

"It's what they call witchcraft," Ashley added, "it became a popular thing after the Salem Witch Trials. Of course, there's no real magic to it like what we can do, but they nonetheless believe it works."

Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing. Muggles are trying to be witches? This was probably the last thing he ever thought he would hear. Inside, a familiar feeling had ignited. A feeling he had, or he supposed still had, for a certain species. He didn't like it but to find out that what he is had become a fantasy to be was upsetting. He was born into this life, not them. Not you.

—

It had been a really nice day at work. People had been kind and you sold out of a new oil you made. As you entered your home, your cat ran up to your legs and purred against you. You smile down at her and made your way to prepare your dinners.

She nibbled away at her bowl and you watched in content.

Outside, you heard a car pulling in. It's probably him. You peaked out the window in the living room and your guess was correct. He stepped out of a black car and walked to his door. You tried catching his attention by waving your arms about, hoping he glanced your way. When he did, you waved excitedly to him.

He stared at you with a straight face, no hint of any feeling. It was odd, people usually like you and wave back but this guy was just looking at you. Not doing anything. You looked around to see if there was something behind you, only to look back and see that he was gone. Ooo...kay?

You grabbed your sweater and decided to introduce yourself to your new neighbor. It had been almost a week and it seemed that he still hadn't acquainted himself to anyone on the street. The cool, spring breeze sent a pleasant chill down your spine as you walked on the sidewalk.

Once you stepped in front his door, you knocked three times. No answer. Three more times. No answer. The lights that were on had turned off and curtains had been shut in almost a blink of an eye. He had made it clear that he was not in a mood to talk to anyone. It slightly hurt your feelings, but you told yourself to not dwell on it. He's just tired from work. Just then, an idea popped in your mind as you headed back home.

—

"Stupid fucking muggle clock," Draco cursed as he was running around his bedroom getting dressed. He overslept by an hour and had 10 minutes to be in the Apparition office to go to work. Damn American laws.

He grabbed an apple, not his usual sour green one but a sweet red one this time, grabbed his bag and ran for the front door. Something taped to the door caught his attention and he halted his movements. It seemed to have been a note someone left. He unfolded the paper and read it to himself;

Hello! My name's Y/N and I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I hope we can become good friends~ if there's anything you need or if you'd ever like to get acquainted over coffee, please feel free to knock on my door! It'd be nice to get to know you :)

At the bottom of the note was a small drawing of a witches pointed hat and Draco immediately knew who left the note. Almost on instinct, the note caught on fire in his hands and the ashes fell to the ground. He dusted his hand off and went to work. As if we would ever become friends.

—

next chp

taglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy au #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy smut #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy x you #draco x y/n #draco x you

156 notes · View notes

memeadonna · 4 years ago

Text

The Kingdom of Roses

You are the princess of Rusika, a kingdom neighbouring Novoselic. When one of your government’s high ranking officials is taken as a political prisoner, your kingdom retaliates by taking some of your own -- and they just might be more than you bargained for.

Hello Everybody! My name is Jess and I’ve been a longtime fan of Danganronpa, from around 2012 or 2013 when I first played the games. I wanted to try my hand at writing a reader insert for one of my favourite characters (and my first ever husbando), one Kazuichi Souda. This beautiful art really inspired me (I scoured high and low for an artist credit, but I couldn’t find one. If you know who drew it please let me know and I will give them the appropriate credit), and I wrote an x reader. I hope you all enjoy! Warnings: This work contains NSFW not suitable for readers under 18. Please do not interact with this post if you are under 18.

Monarchies were a dying form of government. Most countries had established parliaments by now, but the Kingdom of Rusika, where you were born, and a few neighbouring kingdoms held onto their royal families until the very end. Novoselic was one such kingdom, one that until a few days ago had been your ally. Your father – beloved king of Rusika – had sent one of his most trusted advisors to negotiate a trade deal with the Nevermind family, rulers of Novoselic.

That advisor had been captured and held at ransom for some unknown reason. The Novoselic Kingdom really had no idea what they were doing, did they?

Sonia Nevermind was someone you had grown up with. The two of you had never been friends, per se, but you understood one another. You were Princesses tasked with leading your kingdoms towards prosperity. Your countries were similar enough – they had once been one, but after a civil war in 926, the country had been divided in half. While Novoselic’s exports consisted of luxury goods – wine, chocolate, and cheese – Rusika’s were more practical. Your main exports were related to geothermal energy and associated technologies, or mining precious gems. Your country – the kingdom of roses – was building the future. Hers was stuck in the past, weighed down by stupid traditions.

Your father trusted you more than Sonia’s father trusted her, and so you had grown up with more responsibilities. You had learned early on the burdens of leadership, and eventually began to find her boring. You made sure she never caught on, always giving her your full attention whenever she rambled about her silly life and silly problems.

Both of your countries had hit economic booms, so what need was there to worry? Gah, her philosophy was so stupid.

Today you woke up to find that your father had arranged the kidnapping of two of Sonia’s closest friends. She had just graduated from the prestigious Hope’s Peak Academy, and had apparently invited her entire class to Novoselic to spend their last vacation celebrating.

It was strange of him to make such a decision without consulting you first. You were supposed to be queen of Rusika one day, and he always made sure you had a say in decisions. Today you were instructed to dress the part of a princess and come greet your guests. You were to show them hospitality and make them feel welcome. You might have kidnapped them, but you weren’t monsters. They would literally receive the royal treatment, and you were to be put in charge of them.

As your handmaidens helped you dress (corseting you, doing your hair and makeup, and fixing your jewelry could be a six-person job), you went over what you wanted to say to your prisoners. How the hell were you supposed to make them feel welcome?

You had never seen a person with two different coloured eyes before. You had also never seen a person with pink hair. Based on the way they looked at you, dripping in jewels and looking your part, you doubted they had seen Sonia in all of her glory yet. You smiled as you introduced yourself, trying your hardest not to look like you were studying them. You explained the situation to them, told them they were valuable political prisoners and would not be harmed or imprisoned as long as they behaved, and did not try to leave.

The man with two different coloured eyes called you a fiend, as well as many other dark names as he promised his Princess would come for him. The man with pink hair affirmed “Miss. Sonia will rescue me!” and shook his fist at you, trying his best not to look starstruck.

Eventually, you got their names out of them.

“How long will we be here?” Gundham asked you over dinner that night. “I wish to return home as soon as possible. I have responsibilities.”

Realistically, you knew it wouldn’t be a quick endeavour. You and Sonia had spent three months as prisoners in a neighbouring kingdom as Rusika and Novoselic had laid siege to the capitol. That was when you had learned she was boring. She kept to herself in her room, and almost seemed upset with you whenever you would negotiate with your captors, or walked the palace grounds like a free woman.

“As long as it takes” you answered coolly, glad that Japanese was one of the languages your family had forced you to learn. Members of the royal family having to speak thiry languages was one tradition that Rusika had kept from its time joined with Novoselic. It came in handy when negotiating with foreigners. “I cannot provide a clearer answer than that.”

“Don’t worry, Gundham,” Souda spoke up. “Sonia will come for us!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gundham spent most of his time observing the animals on your palace grounds. Your late mother had loved peacocks, so your father had taken up breeding them. She had loved many different animals when she had been alive, so the grounds weren’t exactly wanting. He enjoyed speaking with the vain birds, whistling and cooing until they would fan their elegant tails. His hamsters seemed to enjoy their accommodations too, with more seeds than they could have ever hoped to have eaten.

Souda, however, wanted to remain as unaffected as possible. He did his best to refuse any luxuries you offered him. It was only after you found out he had taken apart every electronic device in his room did you ask Gundham. The Ultimate Breeder had warmed up to you quickly, especially since you were the reason his hamsters were so well taken care of.

After Gundham cryptically told you about Souda, you gifted the Mechanic with a set of tools and new appliances to play with. Boredom could be so cruel, and the last thing you wanted was undue suffering.

Seeing him slip shyly into your study made your gift worth it. He was so awkward as he stumbled out a thanks, looking everywhere except your face. He was blushing and fiddling with a screwdriver as he spoke. “I still don’t trust you. You’re Miss. Sonia’s enemy,” he pointed his finger at you. “And any enemy of Miss. Sonia is an enemy of mine.”

“Would you like a workshop?” you asked him calmly. “I’m sure your room is a bit cluttered with all of those appliances. I just want to make your stay comfortable, I bear no ill will towards you, Mr. Souda.”

His cheeks flamed up and he stammered out a non-answer, shuffling out of the room and slamming the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Souda and Gundham had been with you a little over two weeks when the former finally cracked. He once more barged into your study, and looked you up and down. “I want somewhere to work,” he declared. He placed a crumpled piece of paper on your desk. “Here’s the list of everything I need.”

You saved the speech you were writing and logged off of your computer. “Come with me, Mr. Souda,” you stood gracefully, glad you no longer had to wear your ballgowns around him. It had always made you feel overdressed and obnoxious, especially considering he preferred to wear his jumpsuit rather than the clothes your country had provided him with. It had taken a lot to even convince him to let the servants wash the suit, let alone wear another while he waited.

In the end, you had commissioned seven identical jumpsuits for him, to match the one he already wore. At least he no longer reeked.

You paused at the door to the workshop you had set up for him. There was a guard stationed outside, but a nod from you dismissed him. Kazuichi’s eyes lit up as he observed all of the new-age tech he had to play with. He stammered out a bright-eyed thanks, and you gave him your brightest smile. You had done lots of research into what he would enjoy; he was your guest, not your prisoner. Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a month, Novoselic struck up a deal with Rusika. A hostage for hostage trade: Gundham Tanaka for your father’s cherished advisor. Kazuichi had not been mentioned in the negotiations at all, something that did not sit right with you.

He tried to pretend that he wasn’t upset he had been forgotten, but it was obvious to anybody with half of a brain he was torn up. You made efforts to spend more time with him. You had him accompany you on walks around the castle’s garden, and even took him out of the palace for a few walks around town for a change of scenery. Nothing you said lifted his spirits. He barely even looked at you now.

You watched him tinkering with his toys, but even that seemed to have lost its shine for him. He looked so sad, so bored that it made you anxious.

“May I ask you something?” you questioned on one such walk. The two of you had been caught in the rain and had sought shelter underneath a quaint gazebo. He looked back at you with a curt nod. “How is your hair pink?”

He blinked at you for a moment before he burst out laughing. It was the first time since he had come to Rusika that he had laughed, and it made your cheeks flame up as he smiled at you.

“I dye it,” he told you after he calmed down. “I first bleach my hair to take the colour out, and then I use a dye to turn it pink.”

“Colour?” You blinked up at him. “What colour is your hair supposed to be?”

Instead of answering, he removed his beanie to reveal about an inch of jet-black hair growing in at his roots. Your eyes widened in wonder. “So, it must be bleached again on the new hair?” you asked.

“Yes,” he smiled at you dopily. “It has to be done every few months or the hair will grow in its natural colour.”

“Does it feel different?” you asked. “The pink and the black?” Instead of replying, he took your hand and placed it onto his hair. Your blush only deepened as you felt how soft it was, and noticed his cheeks were bright red too as you pulled away. “Do you wish to turn your hair pink again? I will send for my stylist.”

He smiled at you, soft but genuine. “I’d really like that. Then I’ll feel a bit more like me,”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you doing?” Souda peeked over your shoulder. You smiled tiredly up at him and you stretched as subtly as you could. You had been taking daily walks with him for several weeks now, and he would always drop by every few hours to see how you were doing, or to show off his latest invention.

“I’m looking at the schematics for a new geothermal energy plant,” you answered. “I’m trying to sort out how we can make our energy extraction more efficient.”

Kazuichi looked over the blueprints on your laptop screen. “I’d have to do the calculations, but if you merged these two pipes here-” he pointed. “-you would cut down significantly on the energy wasted.”

“Pull up a chair,” you told him. “Let’s take a look together, shall we?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazuichi had been in your care for three months now, and he hardly acted like a prisoner. He called you “Miss” (probably because you called him Mr. Souda), and tended to barge in on you whenever he wanted. He had repaired the castle’s heating system, boosted your internet connection, and even helped you overhaul the design of your new energy plants. These plants would be 46% more efficient than the last schematic, something that amazed you. You told him repeatedly how marvellous he was, if only to see his face light up.

Lately, he had started wearing the jumpsuits your family had initially provided him with – similar to his old one but stamped with your country’s crest on the back – and had been a bit more… touchy than before. He would put a hand on the small of your back while you walked, or gently brush a lock of hair from your face as the two of you had tea.

You were not experienced in the slightest with intimacy or wanting to be in a relationship – you were certain you would learn that after you became queen – but now he was all you could think about. You knew the basics, knew what to expect from a man, but your heart was uncharted territory. You had never loved someone before, and some deep-seated fear in your heart was worried he would think you were taking advantage of him.

“I was in love with her, you know,” he told you one day while you were out for a walk. The two of you were once more caught in the rain and taking shelter in the same gazebo. “I loved Sonia.” Sonia. Not Miss. Sonia.

“Did it hurt?” you asked back, and immediately felt stupid for asking. It was none of your business, why did you want to know?

“I guess?” he shrugged. “I don’t – she never treated me like I mattered. She made me feel like I was nothing. Just a pest. Like I was disposable.”

“Sonia is a fool,” you told him. You meant it, of course you did, but at that moment you just wanted him to smile. “Your contributions will certainly leave their marks on this world. You are a remarkable person with a remarkable talent. Anybody who would overlook you is an utter fool.”

Kazuichi reached into his pocket and pulled out a small speaker. He set it on the railing, and it began to play a soft, slow song. “Will you dance with me?” he asked shyly.

“Of course,” you smiled at him, holding out your hand for him to take.

His steps were sloppy and uncoordinated, but the feeling of his warm body in your arms made you feel safe. You wanted him to love you. Love you the way he loved Sonia, and then even more. A legendary love that would eclipse all others.

When he leaned down to kiss you, you automatically tilted you head to the side. It felt like the first time and the thousandth time all at once – something new and exciting, yet undeniably right. He grinned at you like an idiot and kept swaying with you while the song ended.

“It all feels perfect with I’m with you,” he told you. “Like it all makes sense.”

“I understand,” you smiled up at him. “I feel the same way too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He barely left your side now. He would let you work, of course, but wanted to spend his every waking hour with you. He held your hand on your walks, kissed your knuckles like a gentleman whenever he greeted you, and kissed you passionately when you were alone with him. You loved watching him light up at your presence – it was like his world began and ended with you.

His greatest joy was when he got to work with you. To see you listening carefully to his advice, offering insights of your own based on your knowledge. You worked to improve both your geothermal energy plants and plan for new mines. The number of precious stones mined this year was astronomical, and it wasn’t over yet.

Your father was impressed with the improvements he had made to the schematics he had been provided with, so he was gradually given more and more responsibility (along with his freedom, of course). Eventually, he began to receive an “allowance” as payment for the work he was doing. He spent most of it on new gadgets to tinker with or gifts for you. You would often retire to your room to find a vase full of flowers or a box of chocolates, and every time you saw them you would break out into a grin you could not stop.

The two of you would text one another (he made himself a cellphone because he was “bored and wanted to try it”) until you fell asleep, and within those words he bared his soul. He told you about his horrific home life – about the man who had dared to harm him – and about the friends who had betrayed him. He told you how much you mattered to him, all of the things he would do for you. Give up for you.

When he told you about his father hitting him one too many times, you left your room and went to his. You just needed to hold him, make him feel safe the same way he made you feel safe.

You were glad you went when you did, because there was a woman dressed in black trying to drag him out of the window. You raised the security alarm, and she was apprehended. Mukuro Ikusaba – the Ultimate Soldier – was thrown into your actual prison, and you once more had trouble with Novoselic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You answered the door with bleary eyes, but seeing Souda’s tired smile as he mumbled about not sleeping was worth it. You used your new nickname for him – the word in your mother tongue that meant little pink rose – and he melted into your arms. You didn’t care that you were wearing your nightgown, or that it was early in the morning, you had your prince charming and he was safe, and he was yours. Yours.

“I had a nightmare,” he was curled up among your pillows, snuggled up under your blankets. “You forgot about me like she did.”

“I’m not her,” you reminded him, pressing a kiss to his forehead before resting your own against it. You could feel his warm breath ghosting over your lips, and as you let your eyes slip shut your hands found his. “I will never think of you as less than extraordinary, my darling.” You promised.

He kissed your cheek, slowly painting his way over your cheekbones and down to your lips. You responded wonderfully, one hand cupping his cheek as you kissed him slowly. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you with pure adoration. He wasn’t wearing his contacts, and his eyes were a light, rosy brown colour. Stunning.

“I love you,” the words slipped out of your mouth unbidden. You were speaking in your mother tongue now, but based on the smile he gave you and the whisper of “Ai shiteru” you got in return, he had understood. More than understood.

Your lips met his again, a strange kind of hunger filling you. He must have felt the change too, the atmosphere crackling with energy as you traced your fingers over his body. As he traced his fingers over yours.

You both stripped completely and held one another, clumsy and laughing and so in love. “Tell me if it hurts,” he had whispered to you as he stretched you open with his fingers. You had kissed him in response, a smiling sort of kiss that you hope conveyed more than a simple “I love you”.

Your lovemaking didn’t last long, but it didn’t have to to be perfect. It felt like it was right out of a fairy tale, and your prince charming was here to save you from everything bad in the world. You were here to save him, in reality, but you were more than happy to indulge him in his fantasies, so long as you could play a part in them.

When you were done, he wrapped you in his arms and placed a kiss to your temple. He hummed softly and played with your hair, whispering his love over and over again. You smiled up at him, tired but satisfied, and when you fell asleep your smile did not falter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since that night you had shared, Kazuichi had been coming to your bed every night. You would fall asleep together and wake up together and talk until you couldn’t anymore. When you weren’t talking, you were either cuddling or doing something less… innocent. Your mouth had mapped out every inch of his body, and you knew what to do to make him open like a flower. He liked letting you do what you wanted to him – liked giving over the power and control and letting you make him feel good.

He loved it when you spoke to him in your mother tongue – no matter what you said he would squirm and turn bright red.

“Do you like it when I play with your pretty cock?” you asked him lowly, and he let out a sweet moan as his legs fell open. He could tell from the sound of your voice if you were being sweet to him or not, and you could tell based on the noises he made if he wanted you to be sweet or not.

You wondered what fantasies swept him away as you mounted him. When you pinned his wrists and mouthed at his neck, you wondered why he was mewling so much. Did he even know what he was begging you for anymore, or did his mind just go blank every time you began to kiss his scars?

You learned every embarrassing detail about his body, and he learned every detail of yours. He loved to have you on him – worshipping him, taking pleasure from his body – but what he loved most were the quiet moments after.

The moments when you would roll off of him and kiss him slowly and tell him how good he was. When you would worship every scar again, tell him he was beautiful. When he’d lay his head in your lap so you could weave your fingers into his hair and hum him lullabies. He always fell asleep in your bed after you made love. It was one of the most perfect moments you ever shared, and you felt so, so lucky to have shared so many of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today you woke up alone. Novoselic had finally sent an envoy to negotiate Kazuichi’s release. Today was the day.

Last night, he had helped you pick out your gown. He had chosen a white one with ruffles designed to look like flowers – Rusika was the kingdom of roses, after all – and as your handmaidens helped you get ready, you felt powerful.

You went all out – you wore your crown jewels and covered yourself in diamonds. You did not want there to be any doubt that they were dealing with a princess and would negotiate on her terms. Your father had been surprised when you had asked for this responsibility but granted you the negotiation opportunity.

Mukuro Ikusaba was wearing several chains, including a rather nasty-looking pair of handcuffs. She was positioned in a chair facing towards your throne, and she glared at you as you took your seat.

Kazuichi arrived only a few minutes after you, and his jaw just about hit the floor as he took you in. You gave him a smile befitting a queen as your eyes roamed his body – he was wearing a finely tailored suit and a ring with your family’s crest on it. You realized then you wanted to cover him in jewels. He would look so good sparkling.

He bowed deeply before taking his place at your side, breaking you from your train of thought. It was an old Novoselic tradition for the ruler’s consort to kneel on a special stool while the monarch conducted business, but while Kazuichi did kneel on the plush cushion, he tugged it towards you so he could lie across your lap. The action startled you at first, but as he snuggled deeper into your skirts and looked up at you with a smile, your fingers came up to weave into his hair in the way he found comforting, and he closed his eyes.

That lasted for a blissful minute before the throne room’s doors burst open and Princess Sonia Nevermind was announced. Her entourage filed in with her, and Souda tilted his head to get a better view of them. You recognized Gundham, and vaguely recalled hearing about a few of the others from Kazuichi. Classmates, if you remembered correctly.

Sonia had brought the Yakuza boy and the Ultimate Swordswoman as backup. She had also brought a hulking man with matching scars over both of his eyes. This man was someone you had never heard of, yet he was flanked by the usual Novoselic military honour guard. You greeted her in your shared tongue before switching to Japanese. “Welcome. What brings you all to Rusika?” you asked.

The princess of Novoselic cleared her throat and began once more in your mother tongue. “Apologies for interrupting, Princess Nevermind, but not everybody here speaks our language. I would like to include our guests in the matters we will be discussing,” Souda shifted in your lap, and you continued playing with his hair, sitting with the elegance of a queen.

Sonia began again, in Japanese this time. “I demand you release your prisoners at once,” she pointed at you. “Keeping a soldier hired by my country to retrieve a prisoner does not reflect well on the alliance between our peoples. I would hate for a war to break out.”

You sighed. “As a show of good faith, I will release the prisoner Mukuro Ikusaba to you,” you made a gesture and a pair of guards removed her shackles. You could feel Souda playing with your ruffles. “Was that all?”

“We are here for the prisoner Kazuichi Souda,” she answered. “I demand you release him.”

“Kazuichi is not a prisoner,” you corrected. “He has full autonomy and can choose to leave anytime he would like.”

“You kidnapped him as a political prisoner!” Sonia snapped, eyes locked on him. “Do not tell me that he is doing… that of his own free will!”

You gave his shoulder a pat with the hand that had been in his hair and he blinked over at Sonia. “I have done nothing malicious towards him,” you answered. “I have not-”

“Liar!” Sonia cut in. “You must have brainwashed him with Stockholm. You truly are a woman with flexible legs!”

Kazuichi raised his head a bit. “Don’t talk to my Princess like that!” there was a certain bite to his words. You ran your fingers soothingly through his hair as he glared at Sonia. “Gundham knows as well as I do that we were never mistreated here. We were given free reign, and I just so happened to be appreciated. I’m not a second choice here. I’m not forgotten.”

Sonia looked visibly upset at his words. “We did not forget you!” she assured him.

“You rescued Gundham after a month? A few weeks?” Kazuichi was bristling. “I’ve been here for eight. Eight months and you didn’t even bother to see if I was okay.” Sonia watched Kazuichi lie back down. “Excuse me for being happy. I forgot you don’t like it when I’m too overbearing with my affection.” He shifted around for comfort, burying his face in the crook of his elbow before tilting it out to the crowd.

“Is he truly able to leave anytime he wants?” Gundham asked.

“I am,” Kazuichi bristled once again. “I’ve got a job and everything.”

Sonia said your name. No title, just your name. “I would like to speak with you in private, future monarch to future monarch,” she was clenching her hands into fists.

“I’ll allow it,” you gave Kazuichi a gentle pat on the shoulder and he reluctantly pulled away. You stood, and he stood with you. He followed you down from your throne, and as you escorted Sonia towards your study you noticed Kazuichi was making a beeline for Gundham.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were alone again, the first thing Kazuichi did was help you out of your dress. He was careful as he unlaced your corset, and as he helped you step out of it. He even hung it up properly so it wouldn’t get damaged. Then he was kissing you like he was about to lose you, pulling your body close and pulling you into his arms. He carried you over to the bed and tossed you into it, discarding his own clothes haphazardly as he followed.

“I love you,” he told you assuredly. “And nothing is ever going to change that. Not a single thing they say will convince me otherwise.”

You smiled at his words. “And I love you too, my little pink rose,” you gave him a deep, longing kiss.

It didn’t matter what the others thought or said. It didn’t matter what they did. All that mattered was what you and Souda thought. Souda was here with you. Souda loved you.

And no matter who decided to challenge that, they couldn’t take him away from you.

#danganronpa #super danganronpa 2 #kazuichi souda #kazuichi soda #kazuichi souda x reader #kazuichi soda x reader #kazuichi x reader #sonia nevermind #gundham tanaka #reader insert #princess reader #memeadonna

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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago

Text

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers

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icedthoma · 5 years ago

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friendly competition

--Since you seem to like chapstick so much... maybe have a reader and Bakugou and neither of them know what the chapstick game is so the bakusquad ropes them into playing it before they know what the rules are?

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Notes: thiS IS THE LAST CHAPSTICK POST I SWEAR HSSBDKJS DON’T COME AT ME T-T (it’s just writing kisses is rlly fun ight ok ill shut up now)

“This is stupid.”

“You know, for once I find myself agreeing with you.”

“For once? What are you talking about, idiot? I’m always right.”

“Yeah? I saw your red kahoot screen the other day, don’t even try to lie.”

Mina slid in between you and Bakugou, who’s hands were beginning to spark at your nonchalant attitude. “Let’s all calm down before someone gets sent to the hospital."

Huffing, you folded your arms and jerked your head away, plopping down to sit cross-legged on the common area’s floor. “Whatever. That doesn’t change the fact that little Rat-suki over here is being a whiny brat, as always.”

“What did you say? I’m going to--”

Kirishima yanked Bakugou back as he attempted to lunge toward you with palms blazing. “Come on, man. We’re all here to have fun!”

“Don’t even know why I came to this stupid thing anyway,” Katsuki hissed as he reluctantly sat down on the couch farthest from you.

“What’s the game?” you sighed, just wanting to get it over with. You’d go along with their antics to make them happy and leave you alone for the next couple hours, where you could catch some must needed rest.

Ashido beamed at your question, and flung a plastic grocery bag out from behind her back, holding it high in the air like it was some sort of trophy. “The chapstick game!”

“What’s that?” you and Bakugou said in unison, then immediately glared at each other from across the room.

“I asked first, you overrated extra.”

“Actually, we asked at the same time, you stupid blond hedgehog. No wonder you were never in band, you can’t count.”

Kirishima was prepared and once again held Bakugou in his seat before he exploded you to pieces. He resorted to flipping you off from his hunched position on the couch.

“Gremlin,” you mouthed back, sticking your tongue out at him.

“As I was saying, we’re playing the chapstick game,” Mina continued. “I will act as judge, of course.”

“Hey, Bakugou! I think you’d be great at this!” Kaminari teased, slinging an arm over his friend’s shoulders. “You’re good at cooking, so you should be able to tell these flavors apart in a heartbeat!”

“Y/n’s a pretty good cook too, you know,” Jirou piped up from Kaminari’s other side. “I think she could give Bakuboy a run for his money.”

You grinned at your friend’s support, staring smugly at where Bakugou was trying to burn holes into your forehead with the power of his glare alone. “Oh yeah? I think so, too.”

“Well, we won’t find out unless we play, huh?” Ashido yelled, finally losing her patience with all the interruptions. “I blew a quarter of my allowance on these, so we’re putting it to use or else.”

“That’s not very good money management.”

“Shut up, Denki!”

“Psh, fine. I’ll play along with your dumb game,” Bakugou scoffed, squinting at you while jerking his thumb towards the floor. “But you’re going down, you hear me?”

“I’ll make you eat your words like it’s your inferior cooking.” Walking over to where Mina was holding the bag of chapstick at you, you took a random one and looked at its label. Strawberry. “Wait, so what do I do with this again?”

“Put it on!” Kaminari urged you, and you did so.

“But I already looked at the label, so I know what flavor it is.”

“You’re not the one guessing, silly!” Uraraka piped up, looking pointedly at where Bakugou was still perched atop the common room couch.

“How is he going to...” you trailed off as the realization hit you. “No.”

“Absolutely no way,” Bakugou growled, coming to the same conclusion as you. “I’m heading out.”

“If you don’t play, you forfeit and Y/n wins by default,” Ashido called after his retreating back. He froze, hands twitching but not sparking yet, clearly torn between his desire to beat you in every competitive way possible and his distaste for games like this.

“It’s fine, Mina,” you laughed, waving your pink friend off. “I think I’ll take this free win. I’m sure Bakugou agrees.”

“Oh, no way in hell,” was all you heard before Katsuki whirled around and stormed back towards you.

“Wait--hold on--what are you--” you managed to stammer out before he grabbed your face in both hands and kissed you, right in front of all your friends.

You were barely aware of someone saying, “Oh my God he actually did it, someone get the camera right now--” followed by several other shouts of the sort, but it had all been lost in the background to your shock that Bakugou had indeed, done it. Your eyes were wide in surprise as you took in his face scrunched up in concentration, lips brushing against yours with a softness you never would have expected from him. His palms were rough and calloused and warm against your cheeks, and you couldn’t believe that these hands, the ones that were holding your face so gently like you were made of glass, were the same ones that had tried to blow you to smithereens on multiple occasions.

Once you had gotten over the initial shock and got used to Bakugou being so close to you, you then felt kind of awkward. Where were you supposed to put your hands? On his shoulders? Behind his neck? Was that too intimate for a simple game?

Just as you started having these frantic thoughts that made you extremely self conscious as to the way the two of you looked to the rest of your friends, Katsuki exhaled sharply and pulled away, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt much to your annoyance. The cool air conditioning was such a contrast to his warm body, that for a second you found yourself wishing he’d come back.

“Strawberry,” he said, an insufferable smirk plastered on those lips you hated, those lips you wanted to come back to you more than anything.

“Y-yeah,” Ashido murmured, gaze darting around to the rest of your friends in the room, as to confirm that she wasn’t the only one who saw that, right? “You got it.”

“Tch.”

You frowned down at the strawberry chapstick that had been in your hand the entire time, Bakugou getting slapped on the back by Kaminari in the corner of your vision. The thing was, you could tell from the moment you held the stick to your face that it was strawberry. The smell was potent enough that he should have been able to tell as soon as he got within smooching distance. But he had kissed you anyway.

You didn’t have the time to dwell upon this enigma, as Bakugou was snatching a new stick from the bag and swiping it across his mouth, shoving it into his pocket once he was done. “Well?” he barked. “Do you need an invitation?”

Rolling your eyes, you went up to him, steeling your nerves with determination. He raised an eyebrow skeptically as you paused in front of him, wondering how you were going to reach him from your lack of height. He certainly wasn’t going to bend down to your level himself. Deciding to throw all caution to the wind, you sighed and grabbed his shoulder with one hand and the back of his head with the other, yanking him down to crash his mouth onto yours.

Unlike his kiss, yours was anything but soft. You kissed him because you knew he wasn’t made of glass, you kissed him to win, your eyes open and narrowed as you ran your tongue along his bottom lip, noticing how he tensed up when you did so. His crimson eyes stared a challenge into yours, just daring you to lose to him. You coudn’t smell anything relatively fruity, so you ruled a whole bunch of flavors off the list. Your tongue had come away from his mouth cool, a stark contrast from his generally warm skin. Which led the only option to be...

“Mint,” you said, ripping your mouth off of his and placing your hands on your hips defiantly.

“Spearmint, actually,” Bakugou snarked, tossing the stick up and down in the air.

“I say it counts!” Ashido exclaimed, quieting down at the end to murmur, “And who knew Y/n could kiss like that?”

"Hurry it up,” Kaminari complained, bouncing up and down on the couch impatiently. “I want to play it with Jirou.”

“In your dreams.”

“We’re literally dating, what are you talking about--”

“What are you all doing still up?” Iida yelled, appearing at the front of the room and silencing all of you in an instant. “People are trying to sleep, and you all are making such a racket downstairs. I implore you to stop at once.”

“...that’s our cue to leave,” Mina whispered, grabbing the bag and running upstairs followed by Kirishima and the rest of your friends, leaving you, Bakugou, and Iida alone. Iida sighed and stumbled off towards the kitchen, mumbling something about just wanting to get some water.

It suddenly became so quiet you swore you could hear crickets chirping like they did in cartoons.

You snuck a glance at Bakugou out of the corner of your eye, only to find him doing the same thing. The two of you jumped in surprise as you caught each other staring, and you quickly averted your gaze to the floor.

“Listen, about earlier.”

You looked up to see Katsuki rubbing the back of his neck, his face uncharacteristically tinged with red.

“Yeah?”

“That didn’t have to mean anything, okay? It was just a stupid game, so don’t think too much about it, or--”

“We never found out who won, you know.”

“I would have won anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

“You had an easy one, okay? You could tell by the smell alone, meanwhile I actually had to try.”

“Oh yeah?”

You knew you really had no reason to be provoking him like this. Literally none. So why were you continuing to do so?

“Whatever, it’s just some friendly competition,” you said, flicking your finger against his chest and turning away. However, he caught your wrist before you could fully pull away.

“Are we?”

“Are we what?”

“Friends.”

You searched his face curiously, but there was no malice or anger in his expression. You couldn’t tell what he was feeling right now, and that bothered you. Friends...maybe yesterday, that was what could describe you two.

But something had changed, and there was a shift between you that you weren’t sure was good or bad. Maybe it started when Bakugou agreed to the game in the first place. Maybe it was when he held his lips against yours longer than necessary. Maybe it was when you yanked him down to your level and kissed him until your lips bruised.

Not quite friends...but not entirely more...

“Sure,” you forced yourself to say, brushing an invisible lock of hair behind your ear and sliding your hand out of his grasp, which you found odd because he literally could have just let go and save you the experience of brushing your fingers over his for a split second. “Of course. Idiot. Anyway, isn’t it past your bed time?”

“Tch. See you later, loser.”

Both insults lacked venom, and you both knew it. As you walked up the stairs, Bakugou a few steps in front of you, you fisted the stupid strawberry chapstick tightly in your hand, the only thing you had linking you to that moment.

The moment everything changed.

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jovialyouthmusic · 3 years ago

Text

Go Shorty!

(It's my birthday!)

In a kind of weird reverse universe, this is my gift to anyone who enjoys my Bastien Lykel fics, queued to be posted on my birthday. I've noted Fabricio's recent image change and it inspired the following - what would Bastien's family think if he shaved off his iconic goatee? Enjoy, its all fluff xx

Word Count 2035

Double Trouble

The last lecture of the week completed, Sophia was in her university office just putting her papers together when the faculty secretary put her head round the door.

‘Sophia, your home help has been in touch, she said it’s urgent’

‘Thanks Lizzy, I’ll be leaving soon anyway. It’s been a long week, I’m glad I’ve nothing on this afternoon.’ Sophia turned her mobile phone back on to see that Morag had left her a voice mail. She held the phone at arm’s length as she played back the sound of a harassed young woman and a squealing toddler in full meltdown.

‘Mrs Lykel, I’m sorry tae bother ye, but yer wee lassie’s upset, and her father cannae soothe her. Please call back when ye can. Or just come hame.’ Sophia frowned. It wasn’t like Bastien to fail to settle Beatrice. Little princess that she was, she was Daddy’s girl while Sophia was out at work through the week and welded to Sophia’s side at the weekend. She dialled the landline of their top floor regency apartment in the centre of Edinburgh that the University had allocated them. It was Bastien who answered, and all was quiet beyond his voice.

‘Sophia!’ he sounded flustered ‘Morag’s just got her to settle, did you get the message?’

‘It’s an odd time of day for a nap, is she running a temperature?’

‘Errm no, she’s hot, but she’s not ill. She’s just been crying...’

‘How do you know she’s not ill if she’s hot?’ Sophia demanded, making her way along the corridor to the car park to their SUV. Her mind span with possibilities.

‘I uh – you’ll understand when you get here, I can’t explain right now.’ Sophia decided not to stop off at the shops on the way, hoping Morag could go and get what was needed before she clocked off for the weekend. She wished she’d had the foresight to order a supermarket delivery, but she preferred to shop herself. With or without the children, she loved browsing the aisles of Waitrose when it wasn’t busy. Bastien was a surprisingly poor shopper and stuck religiously to the list, whereas she’d discover little treats and bargains that wouldn’t stretch her salary. Living in the city was expensive, although not nearly as much as if they’d moved to London, and having Morag to help was a slight strain on resources. Setting up Bastien’s security consultancy was taking longer than expected thanks to the complexity of looking after twins, and the retainer from King Liam in Cordonia was only just enough for small luxuries.

As soon as she opened the door to the apartment, Morag was there pulling her coat on and shouldering her bag.

‘Morag, I was hoping you’d be able to get some supp…’ Sophia started, but she was already pushing past her to the landing outside.

‘Ah’ll be back the Monday.’ she said shortly, and Sophia was left peering over the banister to the stairwell after her rapidly retreating figure, wondering what had happened. She turned back inside to meet Bastien holding Theo.

‘Mama.’ he crowed in jubilant greeting. Bastien stepped out of the shadowed hall, and all became clear.

‘Bas, you shaved!’ she gasped. She’d never seen her husband without facial hair in the few years she’d known him. He still had a neat ‘tache, but his trimmed goatee was gone, his chin and jawline bare. He looked sheepish, and she knew she shouldn’t have teased him about the streak of white in his beard. He handed over Theo, who pointed at Bastien.

‘Dada face.’ he proclaimed.

‘Yes, I thought perhaps…’ his voice trailed off ‘Well, that is, I mean...’

‘Beatrice didn’t like it, did she? Honestly Bas, you should have thought – why didn’t you say something?�� He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

‘I thought perhaps a younger image might drum up some more business.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, age means experience, people are more likely to trust a distinguished looking gent.’ she scoffed. He sighed in exasperation.

‘Well the damage is done. Beatrice took one look at me and bawled her eyes out. Morag tried to calm her down, but every time she saw me again she’d set off crying.’

‘Well no wonder, you look completely different. How about Theo?’ she asked.

‘You know him – a bomb would go off and he wouldn’t flinch.’ In response Theo wriggled to get down, bored at the adult conversation. He toddled off to the toybox in the lounge to rummage for his current favourite, a shape sorting puzzle.

‘Well, I’d better go and take a look at her.’ Sophia sighed. ‘If she’s been crying all morning she’ll probably not wake up for a while.’ She feared that the disruption to her sleep schedule meant they’d be in for a rocky night at the very least, if not a couple of days. She opened the door to their bedroom a crack but could see little, as the curtains were drawn tight. Normally they let a little light in for daytime naps so the children would know night from day. She crept in and let her eyes adjust to the gloom. Beatrice lay on her back in her day clothes, one arm flung back over her head and her other thumb in her mouth. That wasn’t a good sign – she’d not used that form of self soothing for a couple of months. Her hair was damp and face flushed, but her breathing was steady and peaceful.

Sophia carefully held her palm over her forehead, feeling the slight heat coming off it. Bastien joined her, gazing down at the toddler, but she motioned him out of the room and followed quietly.

‘Well, she’s okay for now. I’d better be here for when she wakes up, so you can go shopping for the weekend.’ Bastien’s face dropped.

‘On a Friday? The traffic’s mayhem – can’t we order in?’

‘I couldn’t stop on the way back, and there won’t be any free delivery slots until at least Monday, you know that.’ She sighed. ‘If you take Theo with you it’ll be easier for when Bea wakes up, and you can play the ‘Dad doing the chores’ role, that’ll get you to the front of the checkout queue. Give him a banana, that will keep him happy.’

‘Narners?’ Theo called from the lounge, and came toddling to find Sophia, clinging to her leg and pulling at her clothes.

‘Lunch first, Theo, then Daddy will take you shopping. Won’t that be lovely? All boys together.’

‘Sopping’ Theo cried happily, then looked over at Bastien. ‘Mummy sopping?’ he asked hopefully. He knew Sophia was more likely to treat him than his father, although he did like pointing out the things Daddy couldn’t find. Perhaps he’d treat him more without his sister there to steal the limelight.

‘No darling, Mummy has to look after Bea.’

‘Bee cwy. Dada face.’

‘Yes, silly Daddy took his beard off. He’s funny isn’t he?’

‘Dada silly!’ Theo cried triumphantly and pointed at him. Bastien scowled.

‘Yes well okay, let’s all laugh at Daddy.’ he grumbled as Sophia picked Theo up and balanced him on her hip.

‘Well it’s better than crying’ she said acidly. ‘Now, do you want to make lunch, or shall I?’

-------

Lunchtime was much simpler than normal with just Theo to feed. The couple could eat their own food while the toddler busied himself with cheese sandwiches made with wholemeal bread. He left the crusts, but Sophia had discovered it pointless cutting them off, as he left some bread around the edge just as if the crust were still there. She often saved them to feed the ducks at the park with the twins. Bastien had literally just closed the door to take Theo out to the supermarket when she heard Beatrice stirring. She went into her quickly, to find her standing at the bars to the cot, hair curling round her face and cheeks blotchy.

‘Mummy.’ Her voice was croaky and she looked miserable. ‘Dada face!’ she told her. She stretched her arms up and Sophia scooped her up as she rubbed her eyes sleepily. Perhaps she’d think it was a dream.

‘Well hello my little Bea, you’ve had a difficult morning. Are you hungry?’ She nodded sleepily.

‘Sippy sippy, Mummy.’ The little girl was obviously thirsty too.

‘Of course darling, you can have juice. Do you want sandwiches?’

‘Widges, Mummy.’ She looked across to Theo’s cot. ‘Where Feeo?’ Sophia sucked in her breath. It was very rare that the children were separated and she braced herself for trouble.

‘He’s gone out to the shops to get more narners, darling.’ The little girl clung on to her and rested her head on her chest, seemingly pleased to have Sophia to herself. She carried her through to the kitchen and filled her sippy cup with juice. Gratefully Bea grabbed at it and drank greedily, eyes rolling back in bliss.

‘All gone’ she shook it upside down, sprinkling the last dregs on the floor. Luckily the sandwiches were ready from earlier so Sophia put them on the tray of the high chair. Bea shook her head and clung on tight as she tried to put her down.

‘Okay darling, you can sit on my knee this time’ she said gently, and sat at the table, the little girl firmly nestled on her lap. She reached out to take a sandwich and squeezed it in her fist before stuffing half of it in her mouth, crumbs falling everywhere. She was hungry, and Sophia wondered if she’d had anything to eat before her father’s transformation. She waited until she’d slowed down.

‘Morag told me you were upset this morning.’ she said gently. The little girl took a shuddering breath.

‘Dada face bad.’ she said, putting her hand to her chin. Sophia stepped in before the cycle of crying could restart.

‘I know, Bea. He shaved his beard off. He looks funny now, doesn’t he? Theo was laughing at Daddy.’ Beatrice burrowed into her side again, hiding her face. ‘It’s okay darling, he just looks different. He still loves you – and me, and Theo. Silly Daddy, he’ll grow it back.’

‘Where Daddy?’ she asked, voice muffled.

‘He took Theo out to get more narners.’

‘Sopping?’ Beatrice relaxed and looked up at her enquiringly.

‘That’s right. Is there anything you want from the shops? I can call Daddy on his phone and tell him.’ The tot looked thoughtful.

‘Ice kweem?’

‘Okay, if Daddy brings you ice cream will you give him a kiss? His face is all smooth now, like Mummy’s.’ Beatrice giggled at the thought.

‘Like Mummy!’ she exclaimed. ‘Daddymummy!’

‘You can talk to him on the phone if you like, tell him what you want.’ Sophia got out her phone and texted Bastien.

Call when you can, Bea wants to ask you for ice cream

It was a few minutes before her phone rang, during which time she had changed the little girl’s nappy and was dressing her in clean clothes.

‘Oh that will be Daddy, just wait a minute darling.’ Beatrice opened and closed her hands, demanding it for herself, but Sophia put it on speakerphone.

‘Beatrice is here, Bas. She wants to ask you something.’

‘Daddymummy!’ Beatrice burbled. ‘Ice kweem, Daddy.’

‘Come on now, say please.’ Sophia prompted. Beatrice put on her cutest expression, unaware that her father couldn’t see it.

‘Pweese Daddy, stawby.’

‘Okay Bea, I’ll get strawberry ice cream. I love you, my little Bea. I’m sorry I scared you.’

‘Silly Daddy. Kisses!’ There was a short pause before Bastien obliged, blowing kisses to his daughter. Sophia tried not to laugh, wondering where he was and who could see him.

‘Okay now Bea, Daddy has to get the rest of the shopping. He’ll be back soon.’

‘Bye Daddy.’

‘Bye, my sweeting. Be good for Mummy.’ Beatrice slid off Sophia’s lap and went off to the toybox, obviously happy with life, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

‘If it’s any help, I told her your face is like Mummy’s now, so be prepared to be called Daddymummy until she’s forgotten. You’d better grow that beard back fast, mister.’ she said in a low tone. 'and be prepared for a rough bedtime, she'll be full of beans after that nap.'

@sirbeepsalot @katedrakeohd @fluffyfirewhiskey @bascmve01 @rainbowsinthestorm @nomadics-stuff @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30 @stopforamoment

#sophia x bastien #bastien lykel #double trouble

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