#like i often feel sick and today at lunch i said that i felt nauseous so i couldn't eat much

[kingslionheart]

parents' incapability of apologising to their children should be studied

[dudadragneel]

YOU BLINKED AND HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER SICKFIC (a little drabble, but an interesting one)

🦄 So I was watching the recent SKZ talker right and there was this scene (I’ll link it) and I got this idea. So it’s after one of their performances and they’re all really exhausted. So I thought, imagine him feeling really really dizzy and nauseous so you tell him that it’s probably because he hasn’t eaten so you sit down next to him while he eats. But he doesn’t stop feeling sick to he tells you that he’s going to the bathroom and leaves for a while but then he texts you saying he needs you to come to him. When you get there you ask him what’s wrong and he asks you to help him throw up.

Thank you, dear Liza! For making this cute header, I loved it 💜🥹

120% EFFORT

To say their choreographies were hard was an understatement. They never ceased to amaze you when it came to performances. And for this last comeback? S-Class? Sometimes you got yourself wondering if they were really humans and what went through their mind when creating such hard choreos.

You were watching as they recorded for one of the music shows over and over again, and couldn't help but feel amazed and tired for them. Unfortunately they had to record this several times if there was even the tiniest mistake, given how perfectionist they were.

Your eyes were glued on Hyunjin, he always gave 120% on his dance no matter how tired or injured he was, as you had already seen before.

He looked absolutely amazing and mesmerizing and everytime you thought to yourself that the take was perfect, they did it one more time. It was safe to say that they recorded at least 5 times.

When they finally managed to get the perfect stage, everyone was sweating as if water had been poured on them and were completely out of breath.

You were waiting for Hyunjin in the dressing room along with the staff and cheered when the boys entered the room. They were all out of breath and clearly tired but had sincere smiles across their faces nonetheless.

You ran to Hyunjin hugging him and kissing him as you congratulated him on another amazing performance.

- Honey! That was awesome!

- Thank you babe.

You were happy but you noticed right away when you got close to him that something seemed off, he was sweating too much and was a little bit pale.

- You okay?

- Yeah...I just feel really dizzy...and sick...

- You're probably tired. You danced five times in a row. And you haven't eaten much today right?

- hm...

- Then let's eat.

- Okay .

Hyunjin was feeling nauseous but also hungry, and those two feelings were fighting watch other inside his stomach and he wasn't happy about that. But he knew that not eating anything would just worsen the nausea he was already feeling.

You handed him a packed lunch and sat down next him with the boys for a well-deserved meal. Just like their choreographies, it also amazed you how much these boys could eat. Which wasn't a surprise given how much they danced and worked, and it also explained why they didn't gain as much weight.

They kept chatting about the performance and how STAYs were really excited even if they were watching the same stage more than once.

But Hyunjin was quiet, he just ate slowly engaging in the conversation every so often. You noticed it and also did the boys.

- Hyune-ah, you okay?

- Hm? Yeah.

He said looking up and chewing his food. He looked way too cute even though he was clearly not that well.

- You sure? You look off...

- I'm just tired...

The boys went back to the conversation and you kept eating and looking at Hyunjin, noticing how he still looked pale and sweaty.

He was feeling horrible, something wasn't right. His stomach was gurgling and the nausea wasn't going away, no matter how much he ate or drink, that awful feeling just insisted on lingering around.

He felt something weird in his stomach, it wasn't pain but it also felt too strange to be nausea but he knew he needed to go to the bathroom. He put down whatever he was eating and wiped his hands, that were starting to tingle a little.

- I'm gonna go to the bathroom...

- Hm? Okay.

He grabbed his phone and left. In the hallway to the bathroom he started praying that it didn't have anybody there, he didn't want to be sick in front of people. But before he got to the bathroom, what he was feeling in the dressing room had gotten a bit worse. The tingling sensation in his hands had increased, his stomach felt heavy and his breathing was strange, he felt out of breath as if he has just gotten off stage and his vision had black dots.

Shit! Am I gonna faint?

That's what crossed his mind, he needed to get to that bathroom quickly. He just turned around the corner and entered the bathroom and went straight into one of the stalls and closed it behind him.

He lost strength in his legs and kneeled in front of the toilet, the weird feeling in his stomach increased ten fold and he ducked his head in the toilet as a harsh gag cut through his body but nothing came out. He started feeling cold and hot at the same time, he felt cold sweat soaking his outfit and he was sure his makeup was melting off his face.

Another strong wave of nausea made him gag unproductively again and it just kept adding strain to his already tired body.

The dual feeling of burning and being cold got worse, his hands and mouth were tingling and his stomach kept feeling weird. He managed to stand up a little, only to stumble to the wall next to him, thank God for that wall, and then faint.

You were starting to get worried, it had been a few minutes since he left and he still hadn't come back.

- Y/n, where's Hyunjin?

- He said he was going to the bathroom.

- Is he okay?

- I hope so...

A few minutes later you got a text from him:

- babe. Can you come here?

- What happened?

- I'm not feeling well.

- Okay. Hold on.

- Shit!

You cursed under your breath and the boys noticed.

- what's wrong?

- Hyunjin just texted me. He said he's not feeling well.

- Really?

- I'll go see what's wrong. I'll text you guys.

- okay

-IN THE BATHROOM A FEW MINUTES BEFORE-

Hyunjin slowly regained consciousness, his ears were still ringing and his vision was fuzzy. Thankfully he didn't fall on the ground, he managed to slid down the wall on a sitting position.

Along with the confusion of trying to take in his surroundings and taking control back of his body, his stomach felt even worse than before with a strong wave of nausea suddenly ripping through him making him stumble to the toilet just in time for a harsh gag bring up an insignificant amount of saliva and bile, considering how miserable he felt.

He kept kneeling in front of the toilet, trying to expell whatever was revolting inside him in failed attempts.

He tried gag forcefully and contract his stomach but nothing was working and the nausea persisted.

At some point he gave up, he felt miserable and in pain, his head was pounding and he still felt faint, so he decided to text you, he needed you by his side and your help.

- NOW -----

You ran to the bathroom as soon as you got the text and you didn't care if it was the men's restroom.

You entered and started calling Hyunjin, who answered weakly signaling he was at the last stall.

- Babe, I'm coming in.

You opened the door to find Hyunjin sitting down on the floor, leaning against the wall looking as white as the wall itself. His forehead was damp with sweat and he was shaking a little.

- Oh my god! Hyune! What happened baby!?

You said as you kneeled in front of him.

- I...I felt something weird in my stomach...I came here and tried to throw up but I ended up fainting...

- why didn't you tell me before you left the room?

- I don't know...I'm sorry...

- No, do not apologize.

You grabbed his hands and noticed how cold they felt.

- Babe....My stomach....

- what is it?

- I want to throw up...but I tried to and nothing's coming up...and the nausea just won't go away....help me, please.

- Okay. I'll help you.

You helped him position himself kneeling in front of the toilet while you stood by his side. His hair was already tied up from the stage so you could focus yourself on his stomach.

His mouth was filling up with saliva and kept spitting it out and forcing gags, but none of it were working so you decided to step up. You'd rather not have to do this but he was clearly in agony and he had asked you to do it.

- Babe, excuse me, okay?

- Hmm...

Instead of rubbing his back as you would normally do, you went for his stomach. You rubbed it gently, in circles, applying a little bit of pressure each time, trying to stimulate him.

He gagged a few times but still unproductive. You insisted on the approach a few more times.

- Babe, I'm sorry, I'll be a little more rough this time okay?

You said as you placed your hand exactly at the pit of his stomach and pressed it a little stronger than before. And again he gagged and only a thin stream of bile came out and both of you knew that wasn't everything that needed to come out.

- Babe...it just won't go away and my stomach just keeps gurgling...

There were tears forming in his eyes, his agony just insisted and it was hurting you to see him like this. You didn't want to resort to this method but it was the last thing up your sleeve to help him.

- Babe, I'll need to induce it okay? It's gonna be bad but bare with me, alright?

You kept one of your hands on his stomach while you stuck your fingers down his throat. At the same time you moved your fingers you pressed down a little harder on his stomach and as soon as you did that, he felt something rushing up his esophagus and a burp brought up a thick stream of undigested food that escaped through your fingers before hitting the toilet water with a sickening sound.

- There we go.

You said as you took out your hand and wiped it while the other kept rubbing his stomach.

Before he could catch his breath another stream gushed out of him, this time coming from his nose as well. And the texture was gross, he had just eaten so it all came back as thick as possible, which made it hard to come out, there was barely any liquid in his vomit, he could see everything he had eaten a few minutes ago and it just made him gag again.

He felt every chunk of food rushing up his throat and a cough made everything come out mixing with the rest on the toilet.

- That's it. You're doing good. Get everything out.

You kept rubbing his stomach and now his back as well, giving little taps from time to time to help him.

Something got caught in his throat which made him start coughing and that fit evolved to gags that were again unproductive and you knew there was more that needed to get out.

- Babe, I'll do it again, alright?

He just nodded and closed his eyes as you stuck your fingers down his throat one more time, repeating the process successfully. You felt vomit on your hand as Hyunjin jolted forward with another thick stream gushing out hitting the edges of the seat and unfortunately getting on your hands as you couldn't take it out in time, but it didn't bother you.

- 'm sorry...

He said quietly before another burp brought up another mouth full of vomit.

- It's okay, honey. Don't worry about it. Just focus on getting everything out.

You pat his back as well when he chocked on a piece of undigested food that got stuck on his throat, be coughed hard and a wet gag brought it out mixed with bile and thick saliva.

He was now left gagging and throwing up only thick saliva and bile, he felt tired and his body felt cold and hot at the same time.

- Honey, I think you're done. Here, lean on me for a while.

You guided him so he was laying on your chest and grabbed his hands, drawing circular patterns to help him calm down.

- Baby, breathe with me ok? Inhale 1 2 3 4, hold 1 2 3 4 and exhale 1 2 3 4.

He followed your instructions and your breathing pattern along with paying attention to the touch on his hands and managed to calm down.

- thank you...love...

- No need to thank me. How are you feeling? Better?

- Yeah... A bit...just tired now...

- Let's go rinse your mouth and go back to the dressing room.

You helped him to the sink and wrapped your arms firmly around him, as it seemed he could faint again at any minute.

You were met with seven pairs of worried eyes as soon as you entered the dressing room. The staff helped you settle Hyunjin on a mattress so he could rest, while they decided what to do.

- y/n, what happened?

- When I got there he told me he'd fainted and then he started throwing up.

- Was he like this all along?

- I don't think so. I think it started after the performance.

The boys gathered with the staff to discuss what they'd do, since there was a fan sign after the recording.

And you sat by Hyunjin's side, stroking his hair while he kept dozing off but trying his best to answer you.

- How are you feeling?

- Icky...tired, sweaty and still a little sick...

- Oh baby, when we get to the dorms you'll be able to rest.

The staff decided to take Hyunjin back to the dorms with you, while the others would proceed with the schedule. Just like usual, the company issued a letter explaining Hyunjin's absence on the fan sign event.

You stayed in the dorms with him, helped him take a shower and then made him some light soup, which he managed to eat a little before passing out in bed and sleeping for the rest of the day, with you cuddling him.

[boysbellyrubs]

Can we get Alistair with the stomach flu 🙏🙏

thanks for the ask, another anon also asked for this so here you go :)

—-

Alistair was used to getting stomach aches; he often ate food that he knew would upset his stomach, ate too much, or just was chosen that day to suffer with a tummy ache. He was very brave about it, okay! However, bravery was lost for this stomach ache. Along with an achy belly, he was feeling lightheaded, sweaty, nauseous and couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. There was no doubt about the fact that he was definitely sick.

He was unsure where he would have picked up a stomach bug. It could have been from stress, as right now his drama class were preparing for their annual production and he was one of the lead roles. The line learning stage had passed, but they were still touching up some of the blocking on some scenes, which meant he was focusing very hard to quickly write everything down before the director moved on. As he was writing, he could physically feel his pencil slipping in his grip; his sweaty hands making writing nearly impossible.

The others around him were already finished writing in their notes when he looked up, and were staring at him. He felt his insides curdle.

“Sorry, butter fingers today.” He joked. Most of the cast giggled a little, but the director was giving him a stern look. Alistair needed to pull himself together, he only had another hour to go. He could do this.

The scene played out more, and Alistair was now giving one of his monologues. He tried his best to not look down at his script, and project to the audience. Nikau was down there, watching him while he waited for his part. Alistair’s couldn’t help but move his eyes over to him, smiling and looking proud of his boyfriend.

“Alistair! Focus please, we need to see more emotion. It sounds like you’re reading from the script.” The director yelled, cutting off his words. He looked over to her, the room spinning. He stumbled a bit,

“Yep.” He quickly said, trying to keep his stomach in place. Standing up for so long was terrible for his head, his feet weren’t his own and he swore the stage lights were making little figure eight movements. Alistair looked down, desperately trying to compose himself. He wasn't about to have a ‘Pitch Perfect’ moment.

Thankfully, he got through his monologue without any more issues and he was allowed a break. He rushed off stage, one hand sitting gingerly on his belly and the other carding through his sweaty hair. Alistair felt like he was dying, the air around him was too warm and suffocating, the smell of old costumes and props filled his nostrils and he nearly gagged. Without even thinking, he went out the backstage door and into the carpark, breathing heavily through his nose.

The fresh air did wonders for his head, but now the smell of petrol and rubbish replaced the mothball stench and he doubled over with a hearty heave. Nothing came up. His chest seized and a cough sputtered out of his mouth. Alistair had to stabilise himself on the wall next to him, forehead meeting the cold concrete. Stomach now worked up, he felt his lunch bubble and churn inside him, desperate to be out.

He moaned, “Fuckk,” rubbing his stomach did little, he was going to throw up in this grotty car park like a drunk, “Where’s Nikau when I need him.”

Alistair was swallowing thickly and rapidly, holding back burps and gags like his life depended on it. The cool wall was doing little for his scorching fever and he forced himself to crouch down as the nausea ramped up to a 10. He whined, saliva gathering in his mouth. It hit him in an instant; a burp and then a loud gag and suddenly his lunch was splattered in front of him. When the first lot came out, it prompted everything else to and soon enough he was spitting up more vomit.

It burned his throat and chest, and his gags were throaty and knocked him off his feet. His knees hit the ground harshly, and he quickly caught himself with his hands, splashing into the puddle of vomit. He lost control and coughed up another round, disgusted with himself and the mess he was making. He wondered if any passersby were staring at him. Alistair groaned at his stomach churning, still nauseous and angry despite most of his lunch being in front of his face.

At least he had crouched down first before he got sick, with the way his head was spinning he didn’t think he would have been able to stand up properly. He was also thankful it was cloudy today; having the sun shining down on his overheating body would have tipped him over the edge.

Alistair spat a little before sitting back on his feet. His hands were splattered with sick, and he shook them a little before letting them sit palm up on his thighs. He was a pitiful sight. He swore he was swaying on the spot, ground sloshing around like the bile in his tummy. He thought about going back inside, but then made eye contact with his vomit soaked knees and thought maybe it was better to just stay out here. Perhaps he would die out here, covered in vomit. God what a sight that would be.

His stomach gurgled. It was still very upset and hurt like a bitch. Alistair threw his head back, closing his eyes as the cramp tore through his body. A lone raindrop landed on his forehead. Well, at least the rain could clean up his mess easily. More rain fell and soon Alistair was just sitting out in the rain, sick and tired. His classmates were probably wondering what he was doing. He didn’t really care. He just needed his bed, and maybe his boyfriend.

His boyfriend. Nikau was definitely wondering where he had gone. Alistair’s phone was in his back pocket, and with now semi clean hands he pulled it out. He flicked a text to Nikau and waited. The door flew open, hurting Alistair’s head. But then, he saw Nikau crouching down next to him, touching him all over and wiping away some of the hair stuck to his face.

“Oh my gosh, Star, have you been out here this whole time?” He looked at the remnants of vomit on the concrete, “Oh, jeez. I had a feeling. You didn’t look so good on stage.”

Alistair looked at him, giving a small smile, “Yeah. Feel awful,” His stomach chose that moment to gurgle and cramp again, and he winced. The rain was now starting to make him shiver, and he was pissed that his jeans were now wet, “Can you take me home?” Nikau nodded and muttered ‘yes�� before gently lifting Alistair up.

“You’ve got a bad fever, sweetheart. You’re like a heater.”

“Yeah.” He leaned into Nikau, using Nikau’s steps to make his own. He kept his eyes closed, needing the darkness to not throw up again. He heard the whispers of his classmates and tried his best to focus on Nikau’s hands.

He opened his eyes and recognised the carpet of the audience seating, and waited for Nikau to gather up all their stuff. The director came over to the two.

“Alistair? Where have you been?” She looked him up and down, noticing his saturated clothes.

Alistair shuffled his feet sheepishly, “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling very well Miss. I need to head home.” He said those words and she took a couple steps back, but spoke with a gentle tone.

“That’s okay. Email me if we need to call in your understudy.” Alistair saw a small smile on her face and then she was gone, shouting again at the rest of the cast. Nikau rubbed his arm with his knuckles,

“Ready to go?” Alistair nodded, turning to his boyfriend. Nikau guided him out of the door and to the car. It was bliss to sit down, and he leaned back in the seat. However, he wasn’t excited for the drive home.

“Try and drive careful?” He asked, already holding his belly. Nikau hummed in confirmation and set off.

As they were driving, Alistair could feel every little movement the car made and it translated to tidal waves in his brain. He was so dizzy. It was a mission to keep his head still, while also feeling like his stomach was going to explode out of him once again. Alistair’s hands were shaky and warm, fingers digging into his cramping stomach.

Because he had terrible luck, the underlying nausea turned into full blown nausea and he jolted in his seat. Suddenly, it felt like he was being thrown into lava and was seconds away from puking. He made a strangled noise in the back of his throat, hand tightly over his mouth. He heard Nikau curse, and then a bag was in his lap. Without questioning where he got it from, Alistair promptly puked into it. His back curled, his fingers held onto the bag like a lifeline.

The cars movement did nothing for him. No matter how hard he tried it felt like he was spinning, “Oh, Nikau, I’m-” he gagged, “everything is spinning.” He whined, unable to say anymore as he gagged again. Nikau had rolled the windows down, cool air washing over him. Alistair sat back as far as he could, holding the bag up to his mouth just in case. He needed stability.

“That’s it, Star. Just breathe. Relax, you’re sitting perfectly still.” Nikau’s words calmed him a little. He moaned as he felt the urge to gag again, and spat up a little more bile. He dropped one hand to his stomach, if he didn’t hold it he felt like it would slip out from inside him. The nausea slowly passed, and he was able to tighten off the top of the bag and hold it down by his feet.

“You good?” He was at a red light.

“Yeah, I think so.” Alistair murmured. His throat was scratchy and sore, his body was aching. He kept his eyes closed, and when that didn’t work he chose to look out the window. He kept his eyes locked on one spot in the horizon, and watched as the roads slowly got smaller and soon he was looking at their front door of their flat. Nikau’s hand was heavy on his knee.

“Come on, sickie. I know you’re feeling terrible.” Alistair whined at him. It was heavenly to finally get inside and lie down, with clean, comfy clothes and Alistair curled up on his side. The day’s events finally caught up to him and he felt his muscles slowly lose their tension. Nikau knelt down next to his face.

“I’m sorry to do this to you, but I wanna get some medicine in you. That fever is concerning,” He touched Alistair’s forehead, warm and sweaty. He tsked through his teeth, “You should’ve told me sooner you weren’t feeling good.”

Alistair murmured. Nikau was right, “Sorry. I thought I could get through rehearsal.” His head spun, a quick bout of vertigo forcing him to close his eyes.

“It’s okay. Are you dizzy?” Alistair nodded his head minutely, whining a little. He felt Nikau’s warm hands travel down his body and then he felt a kiss planted on his forehead.

Alistair felt Nikau’s presence disappear, and so he rolled onto his back gingerly, keeping his head still and placing a hand on his stomach. It was still hurting him, and was bloated and gross. The gurgles were sickly and he was probably going to be puking all night. Oh, he was so excited. Nikau returned, carrying the proper materials for a sick night. He gently forced Alistair to take some medicine, and then to make up for it, he lied down next to Alistair with the promise of rubbing his belly.

“I’m sorry you’re so sick, sweetheart.” Nikau whispered into Alistair’s hair.

“Mm, it sucks. But, you make me feel good.”

“Okay, I’m glad. Just rest, Star.”

[aurum-stultus]

To elaborate on the "soft fired" thing: So on Friday I had told my manager I felt like I was getting sick. His response was "Well just take some NyQuil and make sure you come in tomorrow.". I took that advice, I came in on Saturday, told him before I came in that I was feeling nauseous, he said I was fine to come in wearing a face mask. I come in and end up throwing up *and* getting a nose bleed. He tries to convince me to stay, I insist I need to go to a doctor, he ends up rudely telling me to leave, while walking away from me and saying "If you were, then you should have stayed home." So I called out on Sunday and he put in the work group chat, "Call-outs on weekends will now lead to immediate termination." I come into work today and he scheduled me incorrectly for something happening that morning, but I had plans, since that schedule was rolled out the week prior. When I went out to lunch with my dad, my manager decided to text me and tell me that he was taking me off of the schedule because I never gave him a doctor's note for my knee.. One that he said I wouldn't need, and one that I received NO special accommodations for. So he's currently grasping at straws to fire me. I've also had back and forth arguments with him bc he's claiming that I don't actually cover anyone, when often I will only get one break for every two weeks, because I cover someone on my off day. Currently talking to corporate and HR, but until then, I technically have no job bc my manager is an overgrown man child whose trying to retaliate against me bc I got SICK.

I just got "soft fired", so I'm in a limbo between employed and unemployed rn and have no money until next Wednesday, and that paycheck is gonna be baron, so I have commissions open AND I posted the Rick and Morty tamagotchi charms early to my Ko-Fi

https://ko-fi.com/insistant

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: vomiting, light angst due to body image issues (pregnant!reader)

A/N: i have been working on a WIP all day! it’s going to be my longest one-shot by far. if you would like a hint, click here (another hint: it’s not a retelling of the episode)

Masterlist

Chapter 28

Gradually over the summer, your bump started to peek out just a little bit. The bottom of your belly would poke out of your tank tops slightly.

Spencer loved it because it gave him better skin-to-skin contact. He would constantly be rubbing and kissing your tummy while whispering softly to the baby.

He would often visit you in your office for lunch so he could bring whatever you were currently craving. You learned this the hard way once when you packed a chicken caesar wrap for lunch one morning and by the time it got to noon, it made you nauseous just looking at it. Spencer brought you watermelon that day because it was the only thing that sounded good.

You were just finishing up an email when there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open,” you announced.

“Hi, love. How are we doing today?” Spencer inquired.

“Better now that you’re here,” you looked up from your computer to give him a kiss.

“I brought you your fruit salad with extra watermelon and your prenatal vitamins. Also, I don’t know how your stomach is feeling but I would like you to try to have some protein because fruit does not have much sustenance for you and little one. I brought tofu, peanut butter crackers, or a protein bar, whatever you think you can get down,” Spencer unloaded his bag.

“I finished the whole 64 ounce water bottle before noon. Aren’t you proud of me, babe?” you beamed, proudly displaying your empty bottle.

“So proud, I’ll go refill it right now so you can take your vitamins,” Spencer lifted your blouse up and placed a gentle kiss right on your belly button, “Daddy will be right back, little one.”

-

You awoke to the sickly twisting feeling in your stomach and you carefully rose from the bed in an attempt to not upset your stomach any more.

Spencer was up and out of the bed as soon as he heard the first retch. He grabbed a hair elastic and tied your hair back, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Spence, I can’t be sick today,” you cried.

“Jo will understand, love. I’ll tell her you are taking care of little one.”

“I don’t want to miss her first day of first grade,” you sobbed into his chest.

“I will facetime you and take so many videos and pictures, you won’t miss a thing,” he promised you.

“I’m going to call you out of work. Then, I’m going to get you some tea, plain crackers, and iced water,” he kissed the top of your head.

“Will you be okay in here by yourself for a little?” he asked quietly.

You sniffled and nodded.

“Okay, shout if you need me. I’m going to go get that stuff for you and wake Jo up.”

“I want to at least say bye to her. I want to see her in her first day outfit,” you insisted.

“Of course, we’ll be back up in a little,” he assured you.

About 15 minutes later, Spencer returned with a tray of just about every drink and food you had been craving for the past week.

“I love you,” you smiled.

“I love you more,” he replied, setting the tray down on your nightstand.

“Mommy, brother or sister is being bad?” Jo asked.

“No, baby,” you motioned for her to climb up on the bed with you, “They are just growing and it is making Mommy a little sick but it’s okay. I’m sorry I can’t drop you off with Daddy today. But luckily, I heard your new teacher is super nice and you have Henry in your class again this year.”

“Bye, Mommy. I’ll miss you,” she hugged you, “Bye, brother or sister,” she waved to your belly.

“Bye, Baby J. I am expecting a full report on everything that happened as soon as you get home,” you smiled.

“I’ll be back in 30,” Spencer helped Jo off the bed, looking at you worriedly.

“Spence, I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” you assured him.

“Call me if anything happens like even if you just think you’re about to throw up, call me,” he insisted.

You nodded, “Have fun!”

-

“There’s my big first grader!” you smiled with open arms.

You were waiting on the couch for Jo and Spencer to come home from pick up time.

“Mommy!” she ran into your arms, “Ms. Moore is so nice. She let us color whatever we wanted for an hour during craft time today and she had a whole bin of dinosaur books in the library. And, me and Henry played on the big kid swings at recess today and I jumped off into the air!” she exclaimed.

“Oh my gosh! What a fun day you had!” you smiled.

“And you didn’t even hear the best news yet, Daddy signed up to be a classroom helper,” she beamed.

“Did he now?” you grinned, turning your attention to Spencer.

“Ms. Moore had the sign-up sheet out at pick-up time. How can I resist spending more time with Jo? I’m going to get lonely when both my girls are at work and school,” he plopped down on the couch and squeezed you both.

-

You couldn’t find a single cute blouse that still fit you that morning. You had to wear an ugly wrinkly gray one from the back of your closet that you bought a while back and hated but never got around to returning. You brushed through your hair quickly and forwent any makeup because you already felt like utter crap.

You would have called out sick but you had an important department meeting today that you had to sit through. Luckily, that meant little to no talking but you just had to pray that your stomach would settle.

At the end of the long day, you went home and changed into sweats. In an attempt to cheer yourself up, you drove to Jo’s school to see Spencer in action. It was his first day as class assistant.

You approached the classroom to see Spencer surrounded by a group of moms. They were all over him, practically swarming him like bees to honey. These were the exact moms that were horrible to you last year. They were all dressed in high heels and skinny jeans, stuff you couldn’t wear anymore.

You turned around and headed back out to the car.

-

Spencer immediately noticed your car wasn’t in the driveway when they got home.

“Love?” Spencer called out, setting his keys on the table when they entered the front door.

No response.

Spencer tried your cell but it rang out.

He immediately had Garcia on the phone next, “Penelope, I need you to track Y/N. She’s not home yet and not answering her cell and I’m worried.”

“Oh, McDonald’s? Okay, yeah thanks. That’s been one of her cravings recently,” Spencer hung up the phone.

“Why did Mommy leave school and now she’s not here?” Jo questioned.

“Mommy wasn’t at school today, Princess. I think you are confused,” Spencer furrowed his brow.

“Daddy, I saw her,” Jo stated.

“Okay, I believe you,” he picked the little girl up and exited the house once again.

-

You didn’t want to be the crazy pregnant lady in a McDonald’s crying with a chocolate milkshake and a large fry but that is who you had become.

You heard the bell chime but you didn’t look up, dipping your next fry into your milkshake.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

Spencer was standing over you, looking very concerned and carrying Jo on his hip.

He set her down and whispered, “How about you go play in the play place for a little, Princess. Daddy will order you a happy meal.”

Jo looked at you with the same amount of concern in her eyes before deciding it was best to just follow what Spencer said. She ran off and Spencer took the seat across from you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he spoke softly.

“Not particularly,” you took a long sip of your milkshake.

“Jo said she saw you at the school today,” Spencer stated.

It didn’t take a profiler to see the way your face sank even more and you stopped sipping your shake.

“What upset you so much, love? I need to know if I’m going to fix it,” he grabbed your hand and kissed it.

“Nothing fits,” you stated.

“We’ll buy you more maternity clothes,” he replied quickly.

“I look ugly,” you protested.

“Completely and unequivocally false,” he answered sincerely.

“Those moms are going to steal you away from me,” another tear slid down your face.

Spencer’s face softened, he moved from the seat across from you to right next to you.

“You are probably feeling some residual feelings of abandonment because you had to do this alone last time,” Spencer stated softly.

You buried your face into his shoulder as confirmation.

“Love, I am never leaving you or Jo or little one ever again. There’s nowhere else I want to be. This is what makes me happy,” Spencer looked around, “I’d gladly stay in this crusty McDonald’s forever if you and Jo are here.”

Your giggle was muffled by his cardigan.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Spencer smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

A/N: i named Jo’s teacher ‘Ms. Moore’ as a little shoutout to @homoose !!! moore...moose, close enough. she was one of the writers who inspired me to start writing my own fics

taglist: (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange

[lieonarch]

Candied Spaghetti

Pairing: Ollie and Mentor

TW / CW : description of headache , mentor isn’t referred to by any nickname bc i have no idea what ollie calls them eheuihfi , not angst , funny (? im not a funny person but its not sad i promise)

extra: i wrote this while i was kind of sick bc i thought it would be a great idea to use that as a reference of how a headache feels like so im very sorry if its wonky hhh , loosely edited , not beta read 

Summary: I headcanon that when mentor is sick, they speak about the most random things and their whole being barely works to comprehend what other ppl says and so they end up coming up with weird combos of thoughts; this fic is exactly that.

They remembered walking down the stairs alongside Ollie to get lunch together. The heaviness looming around their head that had been ignored since morning and the cold chill that everyone seemed to ignore never failed to make them shiver from time to time.

Ollie had said something they couldn’t quite hear and out of nowhere, an error affected their eyes that blurred the stairs beneath them. When trying to focus, only a sharp pain shot through their forehead followed by cold sweat emerging on their back. They remembered shutting their eyes when something forced them forward and feeling one of their feet touch nothing.

A few seconds later, they felt someone steadying them with a tight grip around their torso. Slowly breathing through their mouth, they look up to see Ollie’s furrowed brows, and widening eyes stare back at them; his expression was something they often see when they worked longer than intended. But they struggle to find why he reacted that way.

“Are you okay?! You almost fell–oh gods,” Ollie urgently filled them in on the events that they seem to barely grasp themselves; it hurts to think at the moment.

“Fell? What?” They managed to mutter before closing their mouth with a hand at a sudden nauseous feeling that emerged from the back of their throat, their hand shakily squeezing Ollie’s arm.

Ollie’s hand soothingly moved up and down their back while the other carefully moved their bangs to touch their forehead, they didn’t see Ollie’s deepened frown when he realized how warm they were. “You have a fever, you shouldn’t have come today,” Ollie stated dejectedly.

They had their head hanging low for a long time before slowly lifting it to raise a brow at him, their fingers lingering on their lips with barely their voice coming past them; only because he was close that he could hear them confusingly stated: “Feet…Bar? What are you talking…about?”

“Yo, Oliver––oh senior? Is everything alright?” Ollie looked at his coworker who was also his deskmate coming up the stairs. He realized that their position was rather suspiciously intimate for office hours so he flashed the other a quick smile whilst patting their lower back to get their attention which seemed to slip away each second according to how their figure swayed back and forth. “They’re not feeling well, can you help me bring them back to their office?” Ollie asked the other whose lips formed an ‘o’ in understanding and quickly went to the senior’s other side to help.

“Whoa, who’s this…?” the feverish senior drawled out yet not bothering to meet the eyes of Ollie’s coworker who only laughed at them in return as the three helped them up the stairs.   “Not the memory loss,” Ollie’s coworker jokingly stated. “Memo logs? Which log did I miss…” they trailed but ended up never expressing the rest of their thought as they dragged their legs each step up the floor.

+++

“Ollie.” He whipped his head towards their figure that lay across the couch the second he heard a letter of his name come out of their mouth, his research for a fever patch in one of the drawers was halted. “Yes? Do you need anything? Water? You haven’t eaten lunch yet, I told someone to order something warm so it’ll be here soon,” he rapidly delivered as he made his way to kneel beside the sofa to check their temperature, it didn’t seem to have any changes.

Their eyes remained closed while they spoke about nothing that correlated or a direct response to Ollie’s report. “Did you know—Aaron he, yesterday his partner called him.” “What?” Ollie blurted after a few seconds. “Mhm,” they continued with a slight nod, “then Aaron said something…ah spaghetti something I think.” “I was eating spaghetti––candied spaghetti…” Ollie didn’t know if he should laugh or cry, but he couldn’t stop the corners of his lips rising at his lover’s nonsensical blabbering. “What was I…saying?” They muttered followed by a groan as their brows furrowed, Ollie leaned forward with his finger to gently massage the space between their brows, preventing the lines of frustration from forming. “Something about candied spaghetti?” “Right––candle spread.” Ollie gave up and laughed quietly into the palm of his hand while his other hand moved to hold his lover’s warm one.

+++

The same coworker that had helped him bring them to their office returned a while later with food and a box of fever patches that Ollie requested last minute after realizing there was none of it in the office they work in. Ollie still had work for the day so after feeding them a few mouthfuls until they pushed Ollie’s hand away. He placed the fever patch on their forehead before leaving the room to resume work; he also sent a text to their phone in case they woke up when he wasn’t there.

Ollie received no texts or phone calls in return while he was working for the rest of the day, it made him feel anxious, but he reasoned with himself by thinking that they are probably in deep sleep after taking medicine.

Fortunately, just after he was closing the last tab on his computer, his phone screen lit up with their name across the surface that also displayed a text message. Ollie quickly unlocked his phone to press their contact name and placed the phone by his ear. “Did you just woke up? How are you feeling?” He could hear their soft laughter from the other side which calmed his racing heart. “I did, I’m a bit more clear had––” “Clear-headed,” they corrected themselves. “Sit tight, I’ll be on my way,” Ollie said while leaning his head to the side so his phone was held against his ear and shoulder while he packed up the rest of his belongings.

“What weird things did I say this time?” They asked with a small laugh that ended with a sigh, Ollie could imagine them pinching the bridge of their nose in his head. “You said you ate candied spaghetti and until now, I wonder how it tasted,” Ollie teased the person on the phone who let out a louder sigh while Ollie only laughed at the memory from earlier.

---END---

A/N: thank you for reading! i hope youll have a great day!

[winter-soldier-vibes]

One Step at a Time (Sebastian Stan x reader)

One Step at a Time

Summary: You are filming with Russo brothers and Sebastian etc and you feel insecure because of all the other actors and work out too much and slowly stop eating; one day on set you almost pass out and they call it for the day. Sebastian gets worried because he’s a great guy and comes to help you.

Sebastian Stan x reader

Word count 2536

Warnings: eating disorder (working out too much and restriction), fainting, insecurities

------------------------

When you found out you had landed the role of Tony Stark’s daughter in the new Avenger movie, you were beyond stoked. You had been an actress since you were little, but this was your first big role. And not to mention you’d be working with some of your favorite actors and actresses. 

Your first day on set, you were...overwhelmed. You were ecstatic, but it was a lot to take in. Seeing these big movie stars that you had grown up with, you felt like everyone was looking at you. You had a lot of expectations to fill. 

Everyone of course was extremely nice to you. The first person to see you and introduce themselves was Sebastian Stan. He already had his ‘metal’ arm on his left arm. He gave you a warm smile and said “Hey, you’re the new kid, right?” You nodded and held out your hand. “Yes  I am. Y/n.” He took it. “Sebastian.”

You laughed a little and said “Yeah, I know.” Your eyes widened and you added “I mean - not in a creepy way, just like a ‘you’re a huge movie star’ kind of way” He laughed too and said “Yeah, I know what you mean. Good to meet you.” he said as he walked away.

As soon as he was far away enough, you let out a breath and internally face-palmed. You just made a fool of yourself in front of your favorite actor. Great. This was a great start.

The first few days were a little awkward, being the new person on set. But after that you settled into a routine. You and Sebastian bonded pretty quickly, him treating you as your on-set father figure. And being so close with Sebastian came hand in hand with being close with Anthony Mackie and Chris Evans. You couldn’t complain. It was all you could hope for.

There was only one issue.

Being around all these movie stars playing all these superheroes could be tough. Everyone was ripped and in great shape, and you couldn’t help but feel like you looked soft compared to them. Anthony always talked about his obsession with leg day and his thighs, often ranting about how “You ain’t never seen a tree without a trunk,” whenever anyone would give him crap about it. This always ended in laughs, but you couldn't help but feel like you should be working out more than you were.

You started tagging along with the others to the gym, and began going for walks or jogs on lunch breaks or when you weren’t needed on set. When you didn’t see any changes, you cut out all junk food too. You still ate, just everything had to be clean. What started in good spirits ended up getting you way in over your head.

You began only eating if you were asked to tag along to eat with the others. This happened pretty often, so you started making excuses, saying you had work to catch up on or you were going to go over your lines. But most of the time you would either go for a run or be so tired that you just fell asleep before you could put on your running shoes. 

You could see changes within the first few weeks. You were toning up and losing weight too. And the others noticed too, saying “Hey, lookin’ good kid.” You liked it, and if anything it made you want to keep going. Your portions got smaller and you stayed steady with the cardio. But if you were honest, you were exhausted.

All you wanted to do was sleep but you wouldn’t let yourself. You would force yourself to keep up your routine. You didn’t feel hungry anymore and couldn’t really bring yourself to eat much of anything. No one really suspected anything to begin with, but they noticed how you were lacking energy lately. They chalked it up to anxiety or just not sleeping well. 

One day, you were filming a fight scene, and it was you and Sebastian fighting against a bunch of extras playing Hydra agents. The scene entailed some of the others, but for right now they just needed the two of you. There were a lot of stunts in the scene that shouldn’t have been an issue for you. You could do them in your sleep. At least, that was what was true over a few weeks ago. 

You could feel the exhaustion that hadn’t left you in days putting you off your game. You kept trying to shake your head or dig your nails into your palms trying to wake up. Sebastian looked over at you as you slapped your face lightly. He gave you a puzzled look. “You okay there y/n?” You looked over at him and plastered on a smile. “Yeah, just didn’t sleep well last night I guess.” He smiled and laughed a little. “Yep. Been there more times than I’d like to admit.”

As the Russo brothers called action again, you attempted your sequence for what seemed like the 10th time. When you missed your punch you sighed, and called out “Sorry!” with frustration. 

“Cut!” The Russo brothers looked at each other and said “How about everyone take 10.”

The crowd started to disperse and you walked off set to your water bottle. Sebastian followed you, and gave you a concerned look. “You sure you’re doing okay? You used to be able to do this kind of thing no problem. Seriously, what’s up?”

You shook your head and took a sip of your water. “I was thinking the same thing. I don’t know what’s going on,” you lied.  You set your water back down on the ground, but when you straightened up again, a wave of dizziness hit you. You reached out for something to grab onto, but the only thing was Sebastian’s arm. He straightened up and held one hand on your arm and the other on your back to support you. “Woah, you okay there?”

You nodded, even though you couldn’t really hear what he had said. You knew what he asked. A wave of nausea hit you and you got this weird taste in your mouth. You got tunnel vision, and started seeing spots. You shook your head and your legs gave out. Sebastian caught you and helped you down to the ground.

Not knowing exactly what to do, he tried to figure out what had just happened and why. He called out for one of the set medics, and they rushed over, checking you over. You came to after a few minutes, confused as to why there were now 2 people standing over you and how you had gotten to the ground. You tried to sit up but the medic and Sebastian stopped you, gently pushing you back on the ground. 

The medic packed up, saying “Your blood pressure is extremely low. I’ll tell the Russo brothers to have you sit the rest of the day out. You should get some rest, and eat a decent meal tonight.” You widen your eyes and sat up, ignoring their protests. “No, I’m fine, really. I just got up too fast. No big deal.”

Sebastian looked at you, concern and confusion on his face. “y/n, you just fainted. You need to take the day. It’s not exactly a suggestion.”

You sighed and brought a hand to your pounding head. Sebastian nodded to the medic, silently telling him that he could handle it from here, and he left, leaving the two of you.

Sebastian sighed. “Hey, since I won’t be needed for what they work on, why don’t we chill out for the rest of the day? Might be nice to have some downtime together.”

You looked at him for a few seconds, weighing your options. There was no way anyone would let you do anything but rest. Might as well not be alone. Nodding, he helped you up gently, heading to your trailer. You were grateful it was just the two of you, and no one else had seen what had just happened. It was embarrassing to say the least, and a really close call. No one knew how sick you actually were.

The two of you decided to have a movie marathon of the previous Marvel movies. Sebastian would add funny commentary or fun behind the scenes information as the two of you watched, and despite what had just happened, you were having a great time.

That is, until it was getting late enough for dinner. Sebastian paused the movie mid-credits and turned to you. “Now, what do you want? I can head down to where the caterers are and grab something while you stay here.”

You tried not to look completely panicked while also looking for a response quickly. You knew you couldn’t talk yourself out of this, but you also didn’t think you could eat something even if you wanted to. You decided to try to avoid the situation by saying “I, uh… I’m not crazy hungry. I’m just like, super nauseous from earlier.”

He gave you a strange look. “You didn’t join us for lunch earlier today though. And you heard the medic earlier today. You need to eat something.”

You looked down at your lap. Yep. That didn’t work. You cleared your throat and crossed your arms, standing up and walking around a little. “I dunno I guess.”

He shifted his weight before stepping closer. “What’s really going on here?” he asked gently, and you averted your gaze.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just…”

“Just what?”

“I don’t know -”

“I think you do,” he said, stepping closer and making you look at him. “What am I missing here?”

You sighed and looked down at your feet which weren’t far from Sebastian’s. You tried to look for the right words to say, opening your mouth but no words coming out. You didn’t know how to tell him, but you couldn’t talk yourself around this any other way.

“I just don’t really want anything to eat right now, is that a crime?” you tried. He tilted his head and asked “When was the last time you ate something?”

You snapped your head up and gulped. You shook your head. “Seb -”

“Y/n.” he said more firmly, and you knew this was it. You looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze out of shame. “A few days ago,” you whispered.

But Sebastian heard you and took a step forward. “What - what do you mean a few days ago?” You stepped back and turned your back to him, feeling incredibly uncomfortable right now. You could feel anxiety building up inside you, “Look, I’m sorry okay? I’m - I can’t… I’m sorry, it’s just -”

He turned you around and you searched his face for anger, disappointment, disapproval, something, but all there was was genuine concern.”You don’t have to apologize, I just...Why? Why are you doing this to yourself?”

You sighed, trying to look for a better answer than the one you were about to give. When it was obvious that you couldn’t, you hang your head a little, saying “ It’s just - everyone here has their place. And everyone here is perfect. And I don’t know… Everyone’s just so ripped, Anthony being obsessed with his thighs, it’s just a lot. I don’t know… I just don’t feel like I’m worthy of being here. And I didn’t know what else I was supposed to do so I tried to fix it.”

It was then that you looked back up at Sebastian, and you didn’t know how it was possible, but now he looked even more concerned. He didn’t know what to say, but he wanted to know the right thing to say. “What made you think that?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. I just felt like I had to earn my spot here.”

He shook his head. “Y/n, listen to me. You don’t need to earn your spot here. You’re already a part of this family. You were casted for a reason and you prove that every damn day you’re here.”

You shook your head for a moment. “Also, where’d you get the idea that we’re all perfect? Because we’re not.” He laughed for a second. “We’re all far from it. And don’t mind Anthony, that’s just a thing he does. I don’t really get it either. But none of us are perfect.”

You bit your lip for a second. “I don’t know, it’s just… Like it started as a small thing but now...I’m just not even sure I could fix this if I tried. I just wanted to be better than I was I guess.” You shook your head. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“That’s okay,” he said. You looked at him with a confused expression. “It’s okay that you don’t know what to do. But it’s not okay to keep hurting yourself like this. You’ll get sick and days like today will happen more often. No one wants that. We all love you here.”

You laughed for a second, not believing him. “We do,” he said a little more firmly. “You’re a part of our team now. Our crazy, chaotic, mess of a team that we are. No escaping us now,” he said, smiling at you. You laughed a little, nodding your head. “Thank you,” you said, looking up at him.

He shrugged it off. “Nothing to thank me for. Now, how about I go down to catering, get us both something, and then we can go from there. Okay?” Sensing your hesitancy, he added, “I’ll be here to talk you through it if you need. We can watch a movie or just talk, whichever you prefer. Yeah?” 

You paused, looking between the floor and Sebastian, while he looked at you hopefully. Slowly, you nodded your head. “Yeah,” you said. A little more sure of yourself, you said, “Yeah, sounds good.”

He smiled at you and gave his head a nob. “Alright, I’ll be right back then.” You gave him another smile and sat back down as he left, leaving you alone in your trailer. You let out the breath you didn’t know you had been holding and put your head between your hands. When Sebastian came back, you sat up again, trying to hide the tears in your eyes. He smiled at you and sat down next to you, handing you a container of y/f/f. You just held it, staring at it. You had no idea how you were supposed to eat that. It’s like you had forgotten how.

Sebastian sensed your building anxiety. “Hey,” he said, and you looked at him. “One step at a time, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah. One step.”

[missgarnet]

Baby Daddies Chapter 1

Pairing: ot7 x reader

Word count:2.6k

Genre: fluff, and a little bit of chaos

Summary:  So... no one tells you what to expect when you and your friends with benefits are about to have a child. (All plans are thrown out the window when your 7 closest friends find out they're going to become dads.)

Warnings: Jin is the ultimate mom friend, pregnancy, Jungshook, 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Link to ao3

In hindsight, you probably shouldn’t have texted the guys that you were still sick as a way to avoid them. Especially when Jin was the biggest mom friend on earth and had insisted that they come to drop off some soup and make sure you were still alive. It wasn’t exactly a lie per se, but there was something you were definitely leaving out.

You slipped on a robe before answering the door, squinting at the bright lights in the hallway. “Y/N, no wonder you’ve been avoiding us. You look awful and your apartment is a wreck. When was the last time you cleaned, or opened the windows? That’s it you need fresh air and light,” Jin starts nagging as he pushes past you into your home.

The other boys trail behind him with various pots and tupperware containers that Jin had forced them to carry. They set them on the kitchen table as they start tidying the space around them. Your apartment wasn’t that messy, but you hadn’t been feeling well and the eight of you had a habit of taking care of each other when one of you was sick. It was a miracle you’d been able to have so much time to yourself before they insisted on taking care of you this time.

“Hey Y/N, why do you have these,” Namjoon asks holding up the box of pregnancy tests you left sitting out on the counter. “I thought you were on birth control.”

“I am, but it doesn’t always work so it’s good to have them just in case.”  You cursed under your breath, realizing that you had to tell them eventually.  “Joonie, you know how you said you wanted to be a dad a while back. Well… there’s like a one in seven chance that you’re going to be very soon”

“What do you mean one in seven?”

“I mean if you do the math, there’s seven of you guys, one of me, and now there’s a positive pregnancy test. I haven’t been with anyone else in years, and we’ve all been friends with benefits a little too often. And here we are.”

“So how are we going to figure this out?” Namjoon asks, trying his best to figure out how to handle the unusual situation the eight of you were currently facing.

Jungkook raised his hand, “We should do rock paper scissors to decide who gets to be dad.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Jimin chimes in, “but is the winner or the loser responsible for all of this.”

The boys contemplate this for a moment as you sit there in shock, are they really about to decide who’s the father by rock paper scissors? Sure you’ve used it to make big decisions before, but this felt a little extreme by comparison. Somehow they’d decided to flip a coin to decide if having a kid with you was winning or losing. “Guys, I know this is a surprise but if you don’t want this you can just say so. I’m not going to force you to be there for anything just because we slept together.”

“It’s really not a surprise, Jin and the maknaes were making bets on how long it would take for you to tell us” Hobi interjected from his comfortable position on the couch.

“I took the test yesterday, how could you know before I did?”

Yoongi lifted his head from Hoseok’s lap, “Jungkook was worried because you kept feeling nauseous in the car every morning after breakfast. Taehyung was saying that your boobs felt bigger the last time you hooked up and then Jin pointed out that you’ve been gaining a lot of weight over the last few weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were further along than you thought.”

“I don’t know if I should be insulted or feel flattered that you guys noticed all that.”

“Why not both?” Jimin suggested.

“You know what Jimin, that’s a great idea. I’m going to take it as a complement but also Jin might want to watch what he’s saying, especially since we both know who ate all the dumplings when I bought us dinner last week.”

The guys laughed as Jin began ranting about how he deserved more respect as the oldest, complaining about how you young people have no manners.

After a dinner where Seokjin had continued to sneak more and more food onto your plate, you were finally able to leave the table feeling as though you needed to be rolled into the other room.

“So what do we do now?” Namjoon asked, taking out a piece of paper to take notes.

“What do you mean, it’s friday night. We do the same thing every week.” Jungkook replied, oblivious to what Namjoon actually meant.

“First off, I don’t think that’s what they’re talking about,” you tried to explain.  “And I don’t think we’re going to be able to have our usual friday nights for a while.”

“Why not, we can still hang out the way we did before you got pregnant.”

“I know,” Namjoon added, “but some things are going to have to change because there’s parts of our routine that Y/N can’t really do anymore. Just think about what we normally do on friday nights.”

“We play video games, eat junk food unless Jin cooks, drink a beer and watch Yoongi cheat at monopoly.”

“And how does that end for you?”

“Making out on the couch, maybe sleeping with Y/N or one of you guys. And then there were a few times we all slept with each other.”

“Koo, I think what he’s trying to point out is that there’s some things I really can’t do right now.”

“So we can’t play mario kart anymore?” His sad little doe eyes were enough to melt anyone’s heart, and you found yourself falling for them time and time again. Of all the guys he was the hardest to say no to especially when he used that adorable pouty voice of his.

“Oh honey, of course we can.” You said as you took the corner of the couch, pulling Jungkook to sit with you. You tucked yourself between his arms as he pulled you on to his lap in a tight embrace.

You patted the spot next to you, waiting for one of the others to join you. What surprised you was how differently the guys were acting towards you even though they had just found out. Normally the eight of you would just fling yourselves onto the couch piling up into a group by literally throwing yourself onto one another. Instead they were being extra cautious as Jimin gently sank into the cushions next to you, taking your hand in his, he raised it to his lips pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

Tae was acting equally as strange most of the time he would be the first one to throw himself into the pile, tightly wrapping his arms around the nearest person. This time he was careful not to put any of his weight on you as he curled up with everyone, resting his head on Jungkook’s chest he looked up at you with the brightest of his boxy smiles.

“I have an appointment tomorrow, I guess if one or two of you want to go with-”

The guys immediately erupted into arguments of why they should be by your side.

“I’ve known her longer.”

“I got with her before you did”

“Just saying, I’d be the best parent here.”

“That’s enough, Y/N needs one of us who can be there for her during all of this. I could take some time off work, or I could be a stay at home parent! Then you could keep working and I could be the best dad.” Jin argued.

“No, you’re not taking time off work for this," you sighed. “We are going to go about things the way we normally act, without making any major changes to how we are now. If you guys want to argue about this or come up with crazy ideas then you can stay home. I’ll take Yoongi and Jungkook if they want to go but the rest of you are staying.”

“Y/N, you need someone there who’s going to listen to the doctors and take notes on how to help with everything. Why shouldn’t that be me?  I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Jin, you started a betting pool because you thought I was pregnant instead of just asking, and the rest of you did nothing to stop him. Honestly I’d be okay with taking Hoseok before any of you, but I don’t want to explain to the doctor why my emotional support person keeps fainting.”

The next morning the three of you packed into the car with Jungkook in the back and Yoongi in the driver's seat still bickering with Jin over the packed lunches he kept forcing into the car. It seemed fine when he handed you the first bag, but as he continued to pile tupperware into the car insisting that his future child needed all the nutrition they could get.

You were trying your best to stay calm and not start overthinking everything, but maybe reading WebMD in the waiting room wasn’t helping. As the three of you entered the office you couldn’t help but worry, you weren’t ready for all of this. Even Jungkook’s amusement at the various medical equipment and diagrams in the room wasn’t enough to distract you.

“Hey, what’s this?” Jungkook asks, pointing at one of the 3D models lining the shelf.

“Well, Jungkook when a man loves a woman very much-” Thankfully whatever response Yoongi had planned ended up being cut off when the doctor opened the door.

“Hi Y/N, how’s everything going today?” Dr. Nam asked as you mumbled your usual reply. “I see you brought someone with you, or I guess I should say sometwo?”

You could feel the heat rising to your face as you tried to explain your current situation “Yes, these are my… um... My friends?”

“Ah, so that’s what the kids are calling it these days.” The doctor couldn’t help but chuckle as she took in your flustered expressions, “There’s nothing wrong with having multiple partners, especially when it’s a healthy relationship with people you care about. Besides, you’ve said enough during our last visits to prepare me for all of them showing up one day. I must say I’m a little shocked that the one with the nice shoulders isn’t here.”

“I didn’t say that much about them”

Dr. Nam just hummed in reply as she went back to reading through your chart. “With the information you have here, I think it might be best if we go ahead and do an ultrasound. You’ve had quite a few missed periods, and while it might be from stress that makes it a little more difficult to figure out a due date. This at least gives us an idea of where we’re at, and when we can expect certain milestones.”

It seemed as though she could sense the discomfort and worry as the odd machine was wheeled forward. It didn’t help that Jungkook kept nervously glancing at it as if it were some kind of wild beast. The gel was colder than you had expected, and you couldn’t help but shift in discomfort as the doctor spread it across your lower abdomen. Without a word Yoongi reached out and took your hand in his, doing his best to comfort you.

“I’m going to turn the sound on, please keep in mind that we might not be able to hear a heartbeat just yet and that doesn’t mean anything is wrong.” She turned on the machine and slowly guided the sensor across your skin. The room fell silent for just a moment before you could hear the quick little heartbeat sounding out from the speaker. You're not sure which one of you started crying first but it was clear that none of you were leaving with dry eyes.

She turned the screen towards the three of you showing you the image you had been holding your breath for. “It’s a little difficult to hear, but if I move this a little further to the right we have a second heartbeat.”

“It has two hearts?” Jungkook yelled in a sudden panic.

“Of course not, two heartbeats means two babies,” your words slowed as the realization began to hit you. “It is two of them right? Not like a mutant baby with two hearts- because I’d be okay with that too.”

Dr. Nam shook her head at the two of you already jumping to the panicking phase she’s seen so many first time parents going through. “No, you are not having a mutant baby. You have two perfectly healthy babies on the way and based on their development and a couple measurements I would say that you’re around 10 weeks along, maybe a little more. Everything looks good, but if you have any questions or concerns please call me at any time.”

As the three of you headed out of the office, Yoongi was the one to accept the little care package that the nurses had prepared for you. Meanwhile you and Jungkook were trailing behind him like little ducklings, still in shock from finding out about the twins. You soon found yourself being packed in the backseat of the car with Jungkook as Yoongi drove around aimlessly.

“Put the phone down,” Yoongi called from the front seat. “The two of you already look traumatized, we don’t need to make it worse by going on WebMD again.”

“It’s not WebMD, I was on google and I found a parenting blog for twins.”

He sighed as he glanced back at you in the mirror, taking in the look on your face as you continued to scroll through the website. “Why do I feel like that’s even worse?”

“Because, I’ve been to one appointment and I’m already failing as a mother. There’s all these things that we’re supposed to be doing that I didn’t even know about. Like journaling, we’re supposed to be writing things down so we remember after the baby comes. And I’m starting prenatal vitamins way later than I should have. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until a couple days ago. One of the blog women knew the week of. It’s been ten weeks and I hardly noticed anything different,”

“That’s it,” he said as he pulled the car over. “You are not going to sit here putting yourself down when we both know it’s not your fault. There are more important things than a journal or whatever some random stranger is saying on a pregnancy blog. What’s really bothering you?”

“What if I’m not a good mom?”

“If you're going to keep saying that I will call Namjoon and make him join this conversation.”

“No,” you whined. “He’s going to start off all sweet and encouraging, and then he’ll end up going on another philosophical rant about the meaning of life.”

The two of you laughed at the idea, Namjoon tried his best to be supportive of all of you but he often got lost in his own thoughts. “C’mon, what’s going on?”

“I’m just not ready for things to change so much. It’s only been a few days, everything is already so overwhelming, and it’s only going to get more complicated when all of them find out we’re having twins.”

“You don’t have to tell everyone yet. It’s okay if you want more time, I’m not going to say anything and Jungkook looks like he’s already been scared silent.”

[eramsey28]

A/N: I know I'm like a kid at Christmas, but I just couldn't wait to post!! Hope you enjoy! 😊

Rookie is Sick

Dawn knew she was going to get a migraine; the aura had started early that morning; bright flashing lights making her nauseous and her left arm felt slightly numb.

She hoped to get through her shift by sleeping on her breaks and taking painkillers. Unfortunately, the migraine had other ideas; she could tell by lunchtime that it was going to be bad when it finally unleashed itself upon her in all its fury.

Ethan hadn't said anything to her, but he could tell something was up and he was keeping a close eye on her whenever he could. She looked tired and pale.

After lunch, Ethan saw Dawn emerge from one of the on call rooms; his brows furrowed slightly, what was she doing in there? She hadn't had a graveyard shift yet this week and shouldn't be that tired. He was filled with anger that his favourite intern may just be slacking off; he hated being let down, particularly by the few people he trusted.

He stalked towards her, his signature frown on his handsome face; "Rookie," he noticed her flinch at the sound of his voice. It wiped the frown off his face immediately and it was replaced with a look of utter compassion and concern. He put his hand on her arm,

"Are you ok?"

She grimaced as she faced him, "I've felt better."

He tried to look into her eyes, the concern on his face evident, "You've looked better too, Rookie."

She tried to laugh, "Thanks, Dr Ramsey."

"Hrm, well it can't be anything serious if you're still able to be sarcastic." He told her, trying to suppress a smile.

"I'll be fine; I have a migraine, I just need to sleep it off."

"Go home, immediately, Dawn. You shouldn't be here in that condition. I'll find someone to cover your shift." He told her gently.

She was about to nod in response, when her face went even whiter and she rushed to a nearby bin to throw up.

He ran after her and managed to get to her in time to hold her hair back. She stayed leaning over the bin, waiting for more. He rubbed her back in soothing circles.

He knew she wasn't well enough to make her own way home; he couldn't let her leave in her state. He passed her a stick of gum, which she took gratefully. "Have you taken any medication?" He asked.

She nodded slowly, the motion making her feel worse, "I've taken Imigran and Co-Codamol. It hasn't touched it, though."

He looked at his watch, "my shift ends in two hours, I'll drive you home when I finish. In the meantime, my office is yours; follow me."

She walked with him to his office, feeling vaguely embarrassed; the man she had a major crush on had just witnessed her vomiting into a bin. She knew that when she felt better, she would never live it down.

She took off her white coat and he took it from her and hung it up in a cupboard, getting a blanket for her at the same time. "Lie down, Dawn. Make yourself as comfortable as you can be." She obeyed straight away and he put the blanket over her, tucking her in gently.

He put a bin on the floor next to her, in case she needed to throw up again. "I'll be right here, I have some notes and stuff to go over." He told her, taking a seat at his desk.

Half an hour later, he could hear gentle snoring; he glanced up at her sleeping form. She looked peaceful and beautiful, but still pale.

He got up slowly, drawn to her like a magnet. He stood beside her, looking down at her; the love he felt for her totally evident in his usually guarded eyes. He crouched next to her and brushed her hair off her forehead; he lightly kissed her forehead and then quickly rose and went back to his desk, feeling foolish at his weakness for her.

Ten minutes later she began to stir, she stretched and then slowly sat up. He glanced up at her, trying to keep his feelings at bay; “How are you feeling now, Dawn?”

She looked over at him, bleary eyed from her sleep; “I think I feel better, thank you. I still have a headache, but the pain is definitely dying down now.”

“I’m glad, you had me worried earlier.” He blushed deeply, “I mean, because we would struggle to find someone to cover you, if you were out sick.” He quickly added. 

“Well, I think I’ll be fine for tomorrow. I just need to go home to bed,” she told him, walking to the door.” She stood, waiting for him, “Are you coming, Doctor Ramsey?”

“To bed?” 

He wanted to hit himself; his tired mind had focused so much on her going to bed; he blurted the question without even thinking. He felt a blush creep up his chest, to the roots of his hair. He honestly wanted to die in that moment; it didn’t help that the awkward pause between them seemed to last forever. 

Dawn burst out laughing, “Home, Dr Ramsey. Your shift just ended, and you offered me a lift, remember?” She was blushing slightly too; could she dare to hope that THE Ethan Ramsey thought about taking her to bed? 

They walked in an awkward silence to his car; the same question rolled round and round in his head; why did his brain turn to mush whenever she was around?

He opened the passenger door for her and she got into the car, thanking him. As they set off, he finally thought of something to say to her to break the ice.

"Have you eaten anything today?"

"Not yet, I didn't have much of an appetite earlier. I'm ravenous now though; I can't wait to get home and cook dinner."

"What will you cook?" He asked her, feeling like an utter moron that he had reduced them to awkward small talk.

"Probably instant noodles, maybe some toast on the side. I'm feeling adventurous. " She told him with a giggle.

He tried hard to think of something to say that wouldn't make him sound like a snob, but as was often the case around Dawn Moore, his mouth moved before his brain and he responded, "That sounds awful."

Luckily, she laughed, "I agree; it must be nice to be able to afford real food."

A brief smile lit up his handsome face, "I can cook for you, you're not well anyway and it would be no trouble," he told her.

She looked at him, feeling butterflies in her tummy that he cared enough, "Thank you, Doctor Ramsey. That sounds lovely." She paused for a moment as if seriously thinking about something, before she smirked and said, "And then will we go to bed?"

She burst out laughing as she watched his reaction; he blushed furiously and his mouth opened and closed as he struggled for something to say. "Listen, about that, Moore, I-"

She cut him off before he could say anything else he might regret, "Don't worry, Doctor Ramsey. I told a server in McDonald's that I loved him the other night. We all say weird and embarrassing things when we're tired."

He smiled at her, feeling relaxed with her again; he loved that she could make even the most awkward situations bearable.

"So, what are you going to cook for me, Doctor Ramsey?" She asked, smiling up at him.

Taglist: @openheart12

@jamespotterthefirst

@starrystarrytrouble

@utterlyinevitable

@lucy-268

@schnitzelbutterfingers

[srsly-messed-up-fruitloop]

Supper’s Ready

Word Count: 2,033

Summary: A couple of weeks have passed since Danny’s accident with the portal. Fortunately, so far, he hasn’t experienced any symptoms at all, not even ghostly ones. Until one day, he begins throwing up ectoplasm.

Or, my take on Portal!Danny

Warning: Includes depictions of nausea and vomiting so...read at your own discretion

Read on AO3 or under the cut

Danny awoke with a groan. He clutched his stomach and squeezed his eyes together as a wave of nausea hit him. If he could, he would’ve laid there forever, curled up in a ball fighting the sick feeling in his stomach. But it kept getting worse, and worse, until his instincts drove him to blindly stumble to his bathroom. Kneeling before his toilet, he held his mouth open, wishing for whatever he ate earlier to just come out already. It felt like an eternity before his dinner left him. Panting, he laid his cheek against the toilet seat as he felt the nausea starting to subside.

He doesn’t remember the last time he threw up. Probably when he was a kid. It couldn’t have been mom’s cooking, right? He recalled the glass of milk he had before bed. It did taste a bit funky.

He stood up, sparing a glance at his dinner once again. He was just about to flush it away until something caught his eye. A single translucent drop of something that glowed brightly green. Jazz probably did have a point about not keeping the ecto-weenies in the fridge.

A couple of weeks have passed since Danny’s accident with the portal. Unfortunately, the portal remained unfunctional since the brief moment when he had activated it. At first, Jazz and his friends were extremely concerned for him. After all, he was practically electrocuted. But seeing that there were no lasting effects, over time they’ve let go of the incident. Things resumed back to normal, save for Jazz becoming a lot more protective of her little brother.

Danny flushed and rinsed the foul taste from his mouth. He made a mental note to throw out the milk in the morning as he climbed back into his sheets.

~

A few days later, Danny was sitting at his desk in his bedroom, struggling to understand why he kept getting this one math question wrong. He swears he’s following the same steps in the textbook example. He was just about to give up and move onto the next question when his mouth suddenly felt dry. No, not again. 

Ever since that night he puked, Danny’s stomach really wasn’t having it. More and more often the sick feeling would return, except nothing came out of it. He rested his head on his homework, waiting for the nausea to pass. At this point he just wanted whatever bad food, stomach bug, or whatever to leave him already. Maybe he should ask his parents to take him to the doctor.

At that thought, his gut uncomfortably lurched and he barely grabbed his wastebasket in time. It’s a shame those tater tots from the cafeteria had to go to waste. Just when he thought he was finished, he felt a painful jolt in his abdomen and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt something, with an almost slimy-like texture pour out. The sensation of it running up his throat made him feel even sicker than he was.

He took a moment to breathe before opening his eyes again. He almost dropped the bin at what he saw. It was the same glowing green substance he saw that other night. Except this time, it took up three quarters of his wastebasket! He couldn’t even see his lunch from earlier.

Slightly panicked now, he quickly scrambled up from his desk chair to get rid of it. If Jazz saw him now, she’d never let him hear the end of it. 

After flushing it away, he turned to the sink to clean himself up. But, the sight of himself in the mirror made him freeze.

He saw that green fluid, staining his white shirt as it steadily dripped from his chin. He almost gagged when he still felt it present in his mouth. But what truly frightened him was his now green irises, glowing brightly in the same intensity as the fluid. 

What was wrong with him?

~

Ectoplasm. That’s what was inside him.

Over dinner, his dad was excitedly explaining how he had extracted the substance from a ghost. His mom joined in, explaining its scientific properties. And while Jazz expressed her disgust at bringing something like that to the dinner table, the whole conversation was lost to Danny’s ears. All he saw was the small vial his dad was showing off, containing the same substance he had been heaving out daily in the last week.

~

Danny was in the middle of an English test when he felt it. It wasn’t all that painful anymore, and he’s gotten used to holding it down just long enough until he could get to a washroom. Still, it always was very uncomfortable. And inconvenient, especially at times like now. He raised up his hand and cringed as Lancer stared at him suspiciously.

“Yes, Mr. Fenton?”

“Can I—uh...go to the bathroom?”

Lancer sighed as he glanced at the clock. “Fine. Please hurry back though, you only have 20 minutes left for the test.”

“Thanks Mr. Lancer,” Danny mumbled as he got up from his seat. He fought the feeling of Wes glaring a hole in the back of his head, along with the weird stares from some of his other classmates. Sam and Tucker worriedly watched as their friend left the classroom.

Alone, in the bathroom, Danny used his hands to brace himself against both sides of the stall, as he crouched in front of the toilet, wrinkling his nose at the smell. He hated doing this at school.

He counted to three and then let go, expelling the seemingly endless supply of ectoplasm within him. Every time he did this, there was always that little nagging voice at the back of his head, telling him that he really should tell someone about this. His parents should know what to do, right? But, every time he attempts to do so, he just...he can’t go through with it. Hearing them rant about their pure hatred for ghosts and the inventions they’ve created just to torture them makes his stomach lurch for a whole other reason. He knows they love him...but...what if they try to hurt him?

As for Jazz and his friends, he honestly can’t bring himself to burden them more after the portal accident. After all this time, he still occasionally sees the guilt in Sam’s eyes. Besides, who’s to say this won’t go away on its own...right?

He wiped his chin with the back of his hand after he felt nothing else coming up. However, he was greatly mistaken. 

The next moment, sheer agony shot through his abdomen, causing him to lose balance and hit his back against the stall’s door. It never hurt this bad before!

His body went rigid when he felt a frightening chill freeze his insides. A burning green—almost yellow light was all that he could see as he was overwhelmed by the brutal sensation of his insides being ripped apart. His mouth was forced open by an invisible force as something else crept up his painfully inflamed throat. It wasn’t ectoplasm this time.

Panting heavily, all Danny could do was lay there against the door as the blinding light and pain gradually faded away. The first thing he saw after regaining his vision was a spectral tail disappearing into the ceiling.

~

“Good morning, this is Tiffany Snow reporting Amity Park’s latest breaking news. Recently, we have received several reports of ghost sightings. Witnesses have expressed that these ghosts have been trespassing their homes, destroying property, and terrorizing civillians. The Amity Police Depar…”

“Those no good specters!”

“Jack, honey, do you know what this means?”

“Of course Maddie, the town needs us!”

“But the sudden increase in ghost activity, it must mean something…”

“What are you sayin’ Mads?”

“Where would these ghosts be coming from? Natural portals don’t stay open long enough for any significant entities to escape the Ghost Zone. Unless...maybe something is causing them to stay open longer?”

“You might be onto something, gosh Mads you’re so clever! Well, better get right to sealing up those portals for good. Oh, I got the perfect idea for an invention!” Jack exclaimed as ran downstairs into the lab.

“Danny?”

Danny just realized he’d been holding his breath throughout his parents’ conversation. At the sound of his mom’s voice directed at him, he dropped his spoon. “Y-yea mom?” he stuttered as he anxiously gazed at her.

She was holding a silver-gray thermos with metallic green details. “Today, I’m packing your lunch in the Fenton thermos. We’d be horrible parents let you kids go to school defenseless. Just remember to point and push, okay?”

“Um, okay. Thanks mom,” Danny mumbled. 

She kissed his head before he could protest and said, “I’m going to help your father out. Have a great day at school sweetie.” 

After his mom disappeared downstairs into the lab, Danny morosely glanced at his half-eaten cereal. He’s probably not gonna keep it down anyways. Fenton thermos in hand, he grabbed his backpack and left to catch the school bus.

~

Danny could almost say he’s gotten used to being nauseous all the time. Now when he threw up, more often than not an actual ghost would come up. But now, the guilt from causing all the recent ghost activity grew with each passing day. Yet, no matter how much he’d tried stopping himself, all he did was make the pain even more unbearable. Something was seriously wrong with him.

One day, he recovered quickly enough to see an octopus-like ghost escape into the school’s hallways. As he exited the washroom, he saw the ghost hurling textbooks at students and scaring anyone that got near. 

This was all his fault. He winced as he saw poor Mikey get his glasses knocked off his face by his own math textbook. He had to do something. Wait. Danny reached into his bag, finding the now empty Fenton thermos.

“Just point and push, right?” he muttered to himself as he took aim at the ectopus. A light blue beam shot out the thermos, enveloping the ghost and pulling it inside. Danny blinked as he noticed the small display on the flask read 25% CAPACITY.

“Huh, that was easy.”

~

Using the Fenton thermos to capture the ghosts really helped ease some of his guilt. However, all too soon the thermos had hit its capacity and Danny had no idea what to do with it.

He’d secretly borrowed another one from his parents and already that one was full too. He needed to figure out something quick.

“Hey dad?”

“What’s up Danno?”

“Uh...how do you get rid of ghosts?”

“Son, I’m so glad to see you taking an interest in the family business! Me and your mom are still finding out a way to get rid of those spooks for good. For now, we’ve got the Fenton Ghost Weasel and the Fenton thermos to catch them.”

“But, what if you run out of space to keep them?”

Danny’s dad scratched his head in thought. “Never really thought much about that. I guess when the time comes, we just gotta send those suckers back where they came from. Maybe by then, we’ll find those portals that are causing us all this trouble.”

Back where they came from? 

By now, Danny knows that the accident with his parents’ portal had to have something to do with his...condition. And considering that all the ghosts are coming from inside him...maybe the portal did end up working after all. Except, not in the way he’d expected. He tried not to think too much about it. How an opening to an entirely different dimension was...inside him.

But, he had a more immediate problem to worry about. And as much as the solution grossed him out, he had no choice. 

Currently sat on his bed, Danny stared at the two full flasks in front of him. His dad’s words rang in his ears as he unscrewed the cap off one. His stomach turned uncomfortably as he spared a glance at its contents.

Bringing up the thermos to his lips, he squeezed his eyes shut to brace himself for what he was going to do next.

Here goes nothing.

[youarejesting]

Femme: 38

[MASTERLIST]

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader,

Rating: Mature.

Warnings: America (just kidding), talking on talk shows, mentions of periods, swearing.

Length: 1.5k words

Announcement: 700 Followers!!! That is so crazy you guys, I hope you are enjoying this story.

Recap: Pushing Namjoon to confess brings more bad than good. Jungkook returns his feelings and the two grow close. Seokjin, however, is left longing for love. And though you swore you wouldn’t interfere with matters of the heart you encouraged him to confess. He was given the love he longed for. 

The weeks of planning your trip had passed, and the boys had all grown quite close. You had spent some very passionate evenings with them. One of your favourite experiences was the night Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon disciplined yourself and the maknaes. Tied with the night Jin held your hands while Namjoon and Taehyung were making love to you both. 

Landing in America, feeling extremely jet-lagged and airsick from the pressure of landing, left your ears blocked. This was causing your body to teeter off balance. Seokjin held you to his side trying to relieve the dizziness, as you all scrambled into a maxi-taxi to the hotel.

With no knowledge of how you had made it to your room, you slept through until dinner. Feeling absolutely lethargic and disgusting you realized due to the length of your siesta, you hadn’t been drinking water. The water in the taps tasted strange, almost making you gag. Chlorine. Taking your glass, Namjoon handed you a bottle from the minibar.

“This will taste better, love” he smiled kissing your temple. “Are you hungry? The boys bought some groceries, but we can also order room service if you wish” Searching the canvas bags, you found peaches. You had been dreaming about them so often you knew you wanted to have it. It was everything you wanted and more.

“Where did the boys go?” Stretching on the balcony because it was stuffy in the room, you smiled fondly at the beautiful night view. “They wanted to go explore the town and do some shopping. Will you be okay for the interviews tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe we went from one TV interview to three TV interviews five talk shows and a radio appearance.” You sighed, once you announced that you were going to America on your Channel other companies called to schedule you.  “It is going to be a busy two days”

You all woke abnormally early due to the time differences, it was still dark outside. Deciding to start the morning by vlogging for the channel, you all spoke about your first day in America. Jiyong had called up some of his connections in order to get you a hair and makeup team. They worked wonders and you all felt like a million dollars wearing the Dragon couture made by Jiyong himself. 

Your tummy was feeling a little upset, from all the travel, strange sleep schedules, the different food and water and to top it all off your period had started thankfully quite light, what a combo. You live-streamed all the way to the venue telling everyone to tune in online to see your interviews and the talk shows afterwards. The boys were nervous, Jungkook had been mumbling to himself a small speech in English he had prepared a week earlier. 

The interviews were fun. The people were super nice and seemed to have so many questions. Taking a break for Lunch before you headed to the studio where you were meeting someone who was the 3020 Ellen. Straightening your collar, you were feeling a little nauseous with what could only be nerves. The waves of sickness seemed to fade the moment you were introduced and the crowd started clapping.

“Please put your hands together for the newest internet sensation, BTS Femme!” You lead the way, walking to the host and shaking hands. Waving to the crowd before you sat on the plush couch. The boys were all waving at the camera. Seokjin blew kisses before they were reeled in by Namjoon to sit down and behave.

They all looked so happy and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for being with them. You started talking explaining the name and why you started the channel. “It was scary, I was in a different country in a different time, with people I didn’t know and I knew other Femmes must feel this way. I thought to make a Femme guide, to teach others what they might come across within the Femme program and not only to the applicants but to other Femmes out there to show that they aren’t alone and yes it is scary. But it is also beautiful.”

“How long were you frozen for?” The host smiled “A few months over a thousand years”  “What about you boys what was it like seeing, y/n for the first time?” “We had heard from the seminars that a Femme can be very wary and closed off, not to mention the dark stories on the web,” Namjoon rubbed his hands together periodically looking over the boys and the crowd “But she was so open, she didn’t shy away and tried to get to know us almost instantly. I guess we are lucky to have such an open and accepting partner.”

“Tae was the first to speak. He said one word, which at the time I didn’t know what it meant but he smiled as he said it and it made me smile. Do you remember the first thing you said to me?” “Gwiyeoun,” he said, making grabbing motions with his hands, Namjoon decided to explain for everyone.  “Ah what he says means cute or adorable, because she was so small stepping out of the big cryogenic pod” 

“So fast forward to the present, you are all engaged to be married, it is rare for Femme’s to wed all her applicants, usually they choose one or two, what made you choose all of them?” You played with your ring. “I am going to be real with you here. These boys are sweet, attentive and encouraging. We have open communication because every healthy relationship needs good communication. And for us it opened the door we could share our feelings, and those feelings happened to turn into love.”

“That’s so sweet, and can I talk about some of the special guests that you have on your vlogs? I really fell in love with the group you dub the boys next door, I hear they recently made their own name TXT which means Tomorrow by together.” “Ah our Dongsaengs, we see them as our annoying little brothers,” Yoongi spoke slowly getting cut off by Jungkook who laughed talking in Korean.

“He says that he finds them annoying but he actually really loves them” Namjoon translated and they all explained the Christmas break-in story, which you had never told the fans. Everyone was laughing.

The talk show was over and you were going to move onto the next. Making a short stop to the toilet you realized you had forgotten to bring your feminine hygiene products in your bag. You went to the stall taking out your phone. Trying to decide whether you text one of the boys to purchase some products for you. When you notice you weren’t bleeding any more. 

It had been a stressful week and you did feel a little dehydrated, it would probably return later that evening when your body relaxed in the comfort of your hotel. Not dwelling on it, you sat through another two talk shows before dinner. Dead on your feet by the time you headed back to the hotel, glad that was all for today. But tomorrow was the radio appearance where you luckily didn’t need to dress up as you wouldn’t be seen. 

“Next time we will pay the hair and makeup team for extra days, I can’t do a packed schedule again” Yoongi groaned laying face down on the bed. Seokjin was ordering room service through Namjoon and you had cuddled into Taehyung’s chest. 

Feeling something wet on your face, you stirred awake to Seokjin cleaning the makeup from your skin. You heard Yoongi swearing at Hoseok who was trying to do the same thing.

“Just let me wipe your makeup off” Hoseok was now sitting on Yoongi’s chest trying to restrain his arms and legs.  “Suck my dick!” The small mint haired male growled at Hoseok.  “I kind of hoped you could suck mine”  “You still owe me from last time” 

You sat up and headed to the bathroom.  Starting the shower you undressed slowly, leaving the door wide open, an invitation. You washed your hair and face and Taehyung, joined his eyes barely open as he began washing the products from his hair and skin. You both ended up sitting on the bottom of the shower until Jimin lured you out with the promise of hamburgers.

You were sitting at the dining table your back aching from maintaining your posture on camera. Hoseok took pity, massaging your body, moaning you leaned back against his chest. Letting his hands wander to your breasts, giving them a small squeeze, you threw his hands off crying out. 

“Why would you do that?” You accused him, he looked shocked his hands up in surrender, “that hurt!” “Jagiya I am so sorry I didn’t know”  “I’m sorry too, I get emotional around this time of the month” you excused yourself to go to bed early. 

The rest of your free time in America left you kind of miserable, after the stress of tv appearances and interviews. You had developed a cold unable to stop sneezing. Wanting to go back to your home. The idea of sleeping in the living room on the soft plush futons, cuddling your boys.

Femme Media 38

Next Chapter

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[lovemesomesurveys]

Snow or sand? I love the beach, but hate the sand. It literally gets everywhere. I love the snow, though. I wish it snowed where I live. I’ll have to go with snow.

Do you like sour candy? No. I don’t like the sourness and it irritates my mouth. 

If anyone, who did you sit with at lunch today? It’s only 5AM. I’m also not in school nor do I have a job, so I just have lunch at home either by myself in my room or with my mom in the living room or her room. That’s if I have lunch at all. 

What is the last letter of your favorite song? I couldn’t choose just one favorite song ya’ll know this.

Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? No.

Are you a clumsy person? I bang my hand and elbow a lot.

How about disorganized? My room is a bit disorganized. I never used to let it get like that, but it’s a reflection of how I feel and have felt for the past few years. I’m a mess.

Have you ever thought about being a pirate? No.

If you text, who were the last three people you texted? My dad, mom, and brother. 

Does today’s date mean anything to you? Nope.

How are you currently feeling? Tired and kinda cold. 

Last male you talked to in person? My brother.

Have you ever had a sunburn? Yeah, many times. I got them a lot as a kid cause I actually used to play outside and spent a lot of time out there. Shocking, I know. I get them when I go to the beach as well. I’ve had some really painful ones. However, they always end up turning into a tan so that’s nice. 

Do you use Firefox or Internet Explorer? Neither, I use Chrome.

Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No.

Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? I’m not a fan of lemonade.

Chocolate or strawberry milk? Strawberry.

Does it annoy you when people answer surveys with “idk”? I know I say “I don’t know” a lot. I try to answer the questions and in more detail, but sometimes I really just don’t know.

What is the current time? 5:08AM.

Should you be doing something other than this? Probably try to go to sleep, but that just wouldn’t be me now would it.

When is the last time you did laundry? My laundry just got gone last night.

What volume is the ringer on your phone? It’s all the way up. 

Have you ever won a contest on the radio? No.

What shirt did you wear to bed last night? It was my Mario Bros shirt.

Where did you get that shirt? I got it from Hot Topic a couple years ago.

Do you hear any music right now? No, but I hear the ASMR video I’m watching. 

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? I like some of their songs.

Overall, how was your day today? Like I said, it’s only 5 in the morning so it’s too soon to say.

Silver or gold jewelry? I like both.

In one word, how would you describe your best friend? Fabulous.

Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There’s many.

Do you have an alarm clock? Yeah, on my phone.

What was the weather like today? It’s supposed to rain today. We haven’t had much rain this winter, in fact it’s been awhile, so I hope it does. Do you often write on yourself? I don’t do that anymore, but I did when I was younger. For some reason that was like a thing a lot of people did to themselves in middle and high school. *shrug*

Is there writing on the shirt you are currently wearing? Yes. It’s a shirt from a place I vacationed at.

Would you rather be cold or hot? Cold, most definitely. I love wrapping up in a blanket, wearing a sweatshirt or hoodie, drinking hot coffee, or sitting by the fireplace. I love the coziness. Being hot is just absolutely miserable, there’s nothing I enjoy about that.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I like both.

Do mushrooms really add flavor to food? I don’t eat mushrooms. 

What about onions? Yeah. I don’t mind if there’s some chopped up pieces in some foods and I like onion rings, but I don’t like onions on my burgers or in my burritos or anything like that.

Are you a fan of Thai food? I’ve never had it.

How about Indian food? I had chicken curry once, which I did like. I couldn’t have it now though cause I can’t eat spicy food anymore. :/

Have you ever tried sushi? Yes, and it was absolutely disgusting. I feel like everyone loves sushi but me.

What is the weirdest food you have eaten? I’m super picky, so I don’t think I’ve had anything all that weird. I’m so particular about my food.

Do you know who LL Cool J is? Yes.

You have a pocket full of change - what do you do with it? Put it in my bag.

Guitarists or lead singers? Lead singers.

What does your mom say about the pictures on your Facebook? She’ll like them and leave a nice comment. 

Where are you? In my room on my chair.

do you know your mother’s birthday? Of course.

do you like texting? Over talking on the phone, yeah. I don’t do much texting, though.

would you run down the street naked if it meant earning $15,000? Could it be pitch black and not a single soul in sight??

how do you feel about the person who texted you last? I love him, he’s my dad.

do you own a pair of skinny jeans? All my jeans are skinny jeans. 

what do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph or Sis.

will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope not? Who knows when my next kiss will even be or who it will be with. 

has a book ever made you cry? Yes.

do you like to cuddle? Sure. I don’t have much cuddling experience, though.

do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? I check the time on it.

are your parents still together? Yes.

Are you missing anyone? I’ll always miss my loved ones who have passed away.

What do you currently hear? An ASMR video.

Plans for tomorrow? No. I’m so sick of this question, it’s like in every survey and my answer is always the same. My life is very routine. I spend all my time at home doing the same things, especially since the pandemic. My plans now just consist of my once a month doctor appointment that I have to go to in order to get my prescription refills. 

What did you eat for lunch today? Like I mentioned a couple times now it’s only 5 in the morning.

Sex ruins relationships, right? No? It can, but that’s not a general statement. 

Where do you want to live when you’re older? My dream would be to live near the beach.

Is your life falling apart or coming together? It’s been falling apart for the past few years.

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? No, I didn’t even go to bed until like 6ish.

What color is your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I dye it red. Currently, it is a lot of my natural hair cause my roots are quite overgrown as it’s been almost a year since I last got it done. Sigh.

Are you spending the weekend with the last person you texted? Yeah, we live together.

Do you trip a lot? No.

If someone paid you $100 would you dance in the middle of times square? No.

Do you have anyone you fully trust? Yes.

What kind of pants did you wear today? I live in leggings, that’s all I wear.

How old is your television? About two years old.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop.

When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago.

Are you currently sleepy? Yes.

Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other? No. I’ve never even been in the situation where a significant other asked or wanted me to do that.

Have you ever had bad trust issues with someone? Yes.

What accent do you think is the most attractive? British and southern accents.

Are you hot or cold natured? Hot, unfortunately. 

Do you own any television series box sets? I have I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show boxsets.

Have you ever been in a fight with your best friend? Yes.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? A couple days ago from my mom.

Do you take any advanced classes? I’m done with school.

What is your lucky number? I don’t believe in luck, but my favorite number is 8.

Do you own a book bag? If so, what color is it? No.

Was the last movie you watched a horror film? Nope.

Do you own a lot of tee shirts? Yes. My wardrobe consists of a shit ton of graphic tees.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? No.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? No.

Are you a colorful person or quite bland? Bland. Well, except for my hair that I dye like a cherry red. 

List one word to describe your significant other? Nonexistent.

Have you ever been so nervous you threw up? No, but definitely felt nauseous and sick and like I could throw up.

Do you remember the first survey you took? Uh, definitely not. I’ve been taking surveys since like 2004/2005.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 100 and something. *shrug*

Have you ever watched fight videos for amusement? No. I don’t find stuff like that amusing or entertaining at all.

In high school, were you in trouble a lot? I was never in trouble in school.

Do you enjoy your hairstyle? No. I don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it besides throw it up in a messy bun all the time.

Do you have long hair or short hair? My hair is long, it goes past my butt. Such a waste that I do nothing with it.

How much make up do you wear on a daily basis? None anymore. I haven’t worn makeup in almost 4 years.

What is your favorite television show? I have many.

Do you have a leather jacket? *Pleather, but yes.

Do you think anyone dislikes you for no reason? They probably have reason.

Do you have any children? Nooo.

Have you ever been interviewed on television before? No.

Do you have weak upper body strength? I used to have really great upper body strength as a paraplegic who only had upper body mobility and uses a manual wheelchair. When I was in school and had a social life, I was active. I didn’t spend all day, everyday in bed or at home all day doing nothing. I had toned arms before. I lost my muscle mass and now I’m weak cause I’m not active at all anymore.

What is the worst insult someone can call you? I don’t know. I say mean, hurtful things to myself all the damn time. My brain plays ‘em on a loop. 

Are you good at sketching? No. I don’t have any artistic abilities, sadly.

Do you think hugs are awkward? Yeah, they can be.

Do you think facial hair is gross? No. I’m not a big fan of a lot of facial hair, though.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? I dye it red?

What color was the last cup you drank from? It’s a clear glass.

Ever play Angry Birds? Nah, I never got into that.

Did you think it was annoying, like I did? It just didn’t look like my kind of game.

Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah, many times.

What instruments do you know how to play? None anymore, but I used to play some piano back in the day. I wish I took it more seriously back then. I wish I had practiced more and kept up with it because I did enjoy it.

How late did you stay up last night? I went to bed around 6ish. And that’s AM if you’re new here.

How late do you plan on staying up tonight? Well, it’s 5:46AM now...

Whose wall did you post on last?  I share stuff to my mom’s wall sometimes.

Have you ever done hard drugs before? No. All I’ve done is weed.

Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No.

Do you own a Snuggie? I do. 

What is your favorite band of all time? Linkin Park will always be one of them.

Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? Nah.

Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It’s not something I’ve actively thought or worried about.

Are there any paintings on your wall? Yeah, a few giraffe ones and a couple beach ones.

Speaking of which, what color are your walls painted? White.

Do you have any talents that come naturally? No. :( I’m lame.

Do you have any piercings? Just my earlobes.

What is your favorite piece of jewelry? The ones I have with my birthstone on it.

Is there a place you'd rather live right now? Somewhere with colder weather.

Do you change your bed sheets often? Usually just like twice a month.

Do you go out often? lol.

Have you ever had plastic surgery before? No. 

Are you afraid of airplane rides? I get super anxious beforehand, but once up in the air I start to relax a bit and I’m okay. Well, unless there’s a lot of turbulence. 

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? At least once a day.

Do you consider yourself a sensitive person? Very.

What's the best Valentine's Day gift you've gotten? My mom is so sweet and has always gotten me something like candy and a stuffed animal or something, but I’ve never received anything from a guy. 

If you're reading a book, what page are you currently on? I don’t feel like checking.

Do you think people are intimidated by you? Uh, no. I can’t imagine anyone being intimidated by me.

Do you have a job you like? I don’t have a job.

Do you know how to do your own laundry? I have to have help with that. 

Have you ever lived with a roommate before? No.

Do you like candles? There’s a lot of nice smelling ones, but I’m just not a candle person. Give me a room spray instead.

Would you prefer internet or television? Internet.

What is something you lose often? Patience.

Do you have any classes with friends? I’m done with school.

Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? No. I haven’t entered any kind of contest in a really long time.

What is your favorite possession in your room? I couldn’t possibly choose one thing. I love all my stuff. What will you be doing in the next ten minutes? Finishing this survey, maybe start another, and listen to ASMR.

How old is your oldest sibling? 37.

Do you consider yourself physically active? Not at all. I explained all that in another question.

How many scarves do you own, if any at all? Zero.

Do you have any cuts or scratches as of now? Not that I know of.

Where did you last sleep? My bed, like I always do.

Do you have Netflix? Yep. 

Are you colorblind? No.

Do you know anyone personally who is colorblind? Yeah, my high school chem teacher.

Favorite salad dressing? Ranch. Unless I’m eating a Caesar salad, of course. A vinaigrette is good, too.

Do you enjoy dancing? I don’t do much dancing.

Have you ever considered writing a novel? I actually have thought about it before.

[bnha-hq]

*gasps* Ask box is open! Uh, hi! For a Haikyuu drabble, can you do 27 for KuroYachi and 44 for KageHina? Thankyouuuuu

I am so sorry this is so late, I hope you enjoy

“I’m pregnant”

Kuroo would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about Yachi, she seemed more worried than usual, more jumpy and prone to panic attacks. He hadn’t seen her this riled up since her university finals and he couldn’t for the life of him pinpoint what it was.

She’d been so stressed recently she was having seemingly random bouts of nausea and had started jumping more when he arrived or suddenly called for her and when he asked her he got nothing out of her, if she even knew what was causing her anxiety she wasn’t telling him.

She wasn’t telling him anything which usually meant she was worried about his reaction or she was still sorting it out in her own mind to be able to word it in a way that wasn’t more a mashup of concepts so he could understand and hopefully help.

Today had been particularly bad, she’d been sick for the third time today and it had just passed lunch time, not knowing what was wrong worried him so much, he felt like all he could do was sit there and watch with no way to help, just hoping that whatever was wrong would soon pass or ease.

Yachi was currently doing what she had been doing for weeks, fighting an oncoming panic attack. She looked at the four positive pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, fighting another wave of nausea as she tried her best to sift through the ridiculous amount of emotions that were stewing inside her. She was excited and ecstatic at the news but at the same time it was the most terrifying thing she’d learnt in who knows how long. She didn’t know when to tell Kuroo, she knew she had to but coming to grips with it herself was so hard, she wasn’t sure if she could handle his reaction were it bad and no matter how many times she replayed the scenario in her mind it always ended badly. Logically she knew he wouldn’t hate her or want nothing to do with their baby but her anxious thoughts very rarely planted themselves in logic, watered by the haunting thoughts of the unknown and the ‘what ifs’.

She’d been sitting on this for way too long now, she’d known for a week without telling him and she felt so guilty for not, she had come to the conclusion that she had to tell him, and she would tell him. Today. She knew the logical reactions, she knew Kuroo loved kids and she knew he wanted them in their future. She knew all of this, she just had to cling onto the logic, however fleeting, and not let go no matter what the anxious thoughts screamed at her. She’d tell him today and deal with the consequences as they came, that was all she could do.

Kuroo had started dinner, he hoped Yachi would be able to keep it down tonight. If it didn’t get better he would probably take her to the doctors, throwing up this often isn’t normal right? He didn’t think anxiety alone would cause her to be so sick so often, it hadn’t in the past. Sure, she felt nauseous and like she was going to throw up but she very rarely did so he had to wonder, was her anxiety just getting worse or was she actually sick with some stomach bug? She hadn’t mentioned anything or avoided anything so it didn’t seem like an anxiety thing.

He sighed and finished chopping the vegetables, putting them in the pan to stew with the rest.

Tetsu?” Yachi’s quiet voice cut through the kitchen, she fiddled with her sleeves and avoided eye contact. Maybe it was anxiety related.

“Yes kitten~” he smiled at her, stopping everything to give her his full attention.

She pulled out four little white sticks, at first he didn’t know what they were. They looked like thermometers that you stick under your tongue, so maybe she actually was sick?

“Hm?” He walked over to get a closer look, taking one from her hands and looking it. He saw two clear blue lines and he knew.

His eyes widened as her looked at the test, to her then to the ones in her hands, his mouth open and closing like a fish out of water as he thought of what to say.

“I’m pregnant” she clarified, with more confidence than he expected considering how timid she was only seconds before.

So many feelings flooded through Kuroo that he thought he was going to be sick for a moment, he was so excited and overjoyed, he was going to be a dad! But at the same time he was terrified, he was going to be a dad!

He decided to push away the fear, his excitement easily overpowering it as he picked her up in a tight hug.

“We’re going to be parents!!” He laughed and spun her around, earning a laugh from her as well which was like music to his ears.

“Is this what’s had you so worried?” He finally set her down, seeing her nod weakly and look away. He could tell she was embarrassed, she often said she felt silly after an anxiety attack. He smiled softly and kissed her face, the relief he felt was so intense he just wanted to laugh.

“I’m so glad it wasn’t something bad, I was worried you had the flu or something” he chuckled and gave her lips a quick peck. She giggled.

“Sorry for worrying you” she smiled at him, kissing back gently.

“I wish all my worries ended with news as good as this, we’re going to be parents Kitten!” She smiled at him brightly as he said that, he could just about physically see the stress and anxiety leave her body and he was so glad.

“Yes we are” they could both relax and rejoice in the news, neither weighed down by anxiety and neither could be happier.

“If you die, I’ll kill you”

tw: war and death

It wasn’tsupposed to be like this, it was never supposed to be like this.

They were supposed to finish high schooland go straight into university, hoping to play for the national team one day.

They were meant to find a house together,adopt a pet or two and live out their dreams, happy and content.

It was never supposed to be like this.

They had known the war had started, theycouldn’t not know about it, it had been plastered on every paper, TV channeland radio station.

Japan had gone to war.

The country was thrown into chaos, Kageyamaand Hinata had been drafted and now found them away from home, away from whatthey knew and away from routine and normalcy.

They’d been lucky in the fact that theyhadn’t been separated but Kageyama was terrified, this whole thing scared thelife out of him.

Whenever they were separated for too longhe worried so much he often made himself sick, he worried Hinata had beenkilled, or taken and exposed to much, much worse and by the way Hinata huggedhim, with all the strength he could muster, he figured he had the samenauseating fears as well.

It was never supposed to be like this.   

He was meant to come home, maybe a roughday at class or work perhaps, met with that tight hug to squeeze away problemsof the day, not to remind themselves that they were both alive and alright.

It was never supposed to be like this andit made him so angry, angry at the war, at his government, at the opposingarmy, at everything. They should be living their life, just the two of themwith whatever they felt like doing as stupid young adults, not wondering ifthey were going to live to see the next day.

As the war dragged on it took a heaviertoll on them both, Hinata especially. Kageyama had lost count of the amount ofnights he held Hinata as he cried, loud sobs, heavy under the weight of hisfear and guilt.

The weight of the world was on hisshoulders, the uncertainty of tomorrow clouding his vision and the panicgripped his throat in an icy grip, his cries for help barely audible to his ownears and Kageyama couldn’t help him.

Not completely anyway.

He could lie there with him, holding him ina tight grip and doing whatever he could to take a little bit of that weightoff him. To clear his vision just that little bit or loosen the grip on histhroat, but he couldn’t. There was just too much, too much pain, fear,uncertainty, and so much guilt he felt like he would suffocate before theyreached the light at the end of the tunnel. If they did suffocate, if it didprove all too much, the one thing he was certain of though was that he wouldn’thesitate to give his last breath so Hinata could have one more, even if hecouldn’t make it he’d do everything within his power to make sure Hinata did.

He squeezed the boy in his arms a littletighter, savouring the feeling of him being there, dedicating it to memory,dedicating Hinata to memory, even though he already had.

The sound of his voice, his laugh, his cryand the feeling of his skin and the softness of his hair and his smile. Thesmile he has when he’s done something cool, when he sees Kageyama after a longday or when he’s just woken up. All these little details have etched themselvesso deeply into Kageyamas memory they were just another part of him, heremembered these things like he remembered his own name, he firmly believedhe’d forget his own name sooner that those little things about Hinata, he wouldif he had a say in it.

Hinata’s sobs slowly settled down untilthey were more whimpers and hiccups than actual sobs, though his body stillshook violently, his fingers still digging into the fabric of his shirt so hardKageyama briefly wondered if it had been torn, not that he’d care if it had.

He knew he wasn’tthe only one though, he wasn’t the only one who’d held the one he loves as theycried, who lived in fear and everyday had to push it aside and do what neededto be done. He’d seen his team mates here, from middle school and high school,people he didn’t get along with now trusting him with his life and vice versa.

He remainedawake for what felt like hours after Hinata fell asleep, but realistically itwould have only been a few minutes before he too drifted off into a mercifullydreamless sleep.

Kageyama couldhardly keep up with what was happening, bullets were whizzing past his head,his ears ringing as something exploded somewhere he couldn’t quite make out,voices screaming out commands he that couldn’t quite hear but none of itmattered, absolutely none of it, it may as well be white noise in this exactmoment.

“K-Kageyama…I’msorry” his voice was weak, his hands shaking badly as they covered the redpatch on his stomach that only grew, taking Hinata’s colour with it and leavinghim pale.

“S-Shut up, you’regoing to be alright” Kageyama’s hands also shook as he did his best to stop thebleeding, blinking away the tears furiously in attempt to clear his visionthough whatever tears he shed were quickly replaced.

“I’m sorryTobio, I-I’m so sorry” he sobbed weakly himself, Kageyama growled and screamedfor a medic again.

He was vaguelyaware of Iwaizumi running over to help, vaguely aware of an explosiondangerously close to them, vaguely aware of everything that wasn’t Hinata inhis arms.

“If you die,I’m gonna kill you.” He sobbed weakly, holding his face in his hand and pressinghis forehead to his.

Hinata manageda weak laugh, one that shook Kageyama to his core, before leaning up to leave agentle kiss to his lips.

“I’m sorryTobio” he managed before he shut his eyes.

All Kageyamacould do was scream, a pain unlike any other took hold of his being andsqueezed him agonisingly tight.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  

[lascapigliata]

idk what this Counts as so potentially disordered eating t

my therapist was like you really need to try to eat three times a day just to Consume Food (bc i very often do not eat once i get home from work, i’m just not hungry or i forget i’m not intentionally depriving myself - her point is force myself to remember to eat and maybe it’ll become essentially a habit) so i have been, mostly, but now i feel so gross and nasty and like every decision i’ve made about what i have eaten has been wrong and i feel like i must be gaining weight again, idk i haven’t weighed myself

like, i ate 2 empanadas and some plantains for lunch today bc my boss and i went to a new restaurant and that doesn’t sound like a lot (unless it does?) but it felt filling, usually for lunch i have a pretty small salad. & then tonight i ate a... decent amount and now feel nauseous bc i think i ate too much... i had a smallish bowl of pasta & artichokes and some edamame.. i probably shouldn’t have had the pasta but i just bought these artichokes, which i love!!, and i have had so many nights of eating Just edamame recently i was bored....... anyway so maybe that was too much i can’t tell, i feel sick really easily

but i had made my chia pudding last night & i was like looking forward to it so i agonized for like 20 minutes over whether or not i should have it.. like all i could think was a week ago i wasn’t eating dinner at all and now you want to eat THREE ~dishes in a night? weak!!!!!!

i ended up having the chia pudding bc like standing at my fridge it was right there, and now i DEFINITELY ate too much and feel sick AND guilty bc i should have just been smart and said it will still be there tomorrow

anyway. i wish i’d never had the conversation with the therapist and i was just back at eating nothing at night anyway this is all very pathetic lmao

[hauntedyouthus]

COVID19

So, it happened. I didn’t think that it would happen to me but it did. I was tested for COVID19 and it came back positive. I had a mild case of it but even the mild case was scary. This is a wakeup call people… it’s not the flu. Not even close. Let’s start at the beginning… to when I was exposed…

               Saturday – I was working at a restaurant/bar where I work one or two nights a week for extra cash. It was Saturday night – a normally busy night that had thankfully been slow this particular day. I had a customer who was joking saying that they had left Philly because Philly had shut down all non-essential businesses (including restaurants and bars) due to an outbreak of coronavirus and they just wanted to party. They coughed a bit, but I attributed it to the fact that they were smoking. There was a live band that night and I had to get close to them to hear their order – not a good practice of social distancing. I made sure to wash my hands frequently and sanitize after going to every table. But I must have breathed it in or touched my face at some point throughout the night.

               Sunday – All non-essential businesses were closed throughout all of PA.  My manager reached out to me to let me know that the restaurant would be closed and I could work take-out if I wanted to. I didn’t so I turned down the offer. I figured I could use the time off to do grad work.

               Monday – I started feeling sick. Not COVID19 sick but off. I had some chest tightness, a slight cough, and was tired. Thought nothing of it other than seasonal allergies, it’ll pass.

               Tuesday – I woke up with chest pain that wouldn’t go away. It was all day. My cough had got worse but I still wasn’t worried about the cough. I was worried about the chest pain. It was so uncomfortable and I was really distressed by how it wouldn’t go away. I honestly was worried that I was having a heart attack. I reached out to my friend who is an ER nurse and she suggested I go to the hospital. I was stubborn and said I would just call the cardiologist in the morning.

               Wednesday – I woke up with chest pain again. Not as bad as Tuesday but still there. I called my cardiologist at 11 and they asked me to come in at 11:20… Sure. No problem. Hastily I got dressed, threw my hair into a messy bun and went. They screened me before I went in, gave me a mask, and within minutes they had me laying down hooked up to an EKG. The doctor saw the results came in and told me that my EKG was fine but based on my symptoms he wanted me to be tested further. He sent me for bloodwork and scheduled an EKG for Friday. He believed based on my symptoms that I had swelling around my heart which could be related to a matter of things including a viral infection. Went for the bloodwork, was given a mask, and at this point my anxiety was pretty high. I got home and felt like I was having a hard time breathing. Brushed it off as just anxiety. By the time I was getting ready for bed, my breathing had gotten worse and so had my coughing. I couldn’t sleep. Every time I lay down the coughing would get worse. I was gasping for air at some points. I was starting to get scared at this point. I still didn’t think I had coronavirus. I thought no way, not me. But I couldn’t breathe right and I couldn’t stop coughing. This went on the whole night but eventually eased up closer to 4 in the morning. I closed my eyes and fell asleep for about 2 hours. I was woken up by the sudden urge to try to take a deep breath. I couldn’t. I just gasped for air.

               Thursday – After not having slept and struggling to breathe all night, I was exhausted. I stayed in bed all day – sitting up and watching movies. My doctor called me with the results of my bloodwork that afternoon. Everything was normal including my inflammatory markers. He did mention that they were on the higher end of normal though. I was coughing a lot throughout the day and struggling to catch my breath after but it wasn’t as bad as the night before so I didn’t think anything of it again. I didn’t have much of an appetite all day and didn’t bother trying to eat. I thought at this point maybe I was coming down with something… still not thinking it was coronavirus. By the time I was getting ready for bed, my breathing was labored. I was struggling getting a good breath in. I was dizzy, tired, and just wanted to lie down but when I did the coughing got worse and I couldn’t catch my breath. I went through the night like this. At one point, I had to bend over on my hands and knees trying to get a breath in. It was around 2 A.M. at this point and I was fearful that I wasn’t going to get any sleep.

               Friday – I must have fallen asleep at some point Thursday night and woke up Friday fighting to get a breath in around 6 am. I was going to the cardiologist that afternoon for my ECG so I decided to try to be productive in the morning. I tried cleaning but was instantly exhausted and felt like I just needed to relax. I watched some movies on Netflix. I realized I hadn’t eaten anything Thursday so I decided to make myself a salad for lunch. I barely got through one bite of food before I was struggling again. I had to try to catch my breath and I was nauseous and dizzy. I ended up just lying in bed until it was time for me to leave. I got to the cardiologist, was screened given a mask, waited a few minutes and then was brought in for my ECG. The woman doing my ECG had to ask me to not try to take a deep breath because it was messing up her image of my heart. It was a struggle for me because I felt like I needed a deep breath even though I knew I was having a hard time anyways. When it was over and I went home, I felt a little better again thinking that whatever was wrong with me was passing… I was wrong. Friday night was the start of the worst of it for me. I couldn’t breathe. I was gasping for air for what felt like hours. I was scared. My head was pounding. My chest was burning. And then I got one good breath in. But that one breath led to a coughing fit which in turn resulted in me fighting to catch my breath for hours again. This went on all night.

               Saturday – Exactly one week from when I think I was exposed. I was so tired. Felt so sick and was now thinking something was wrong. My doctor called me early that morning with the results from the ECG and told me that the lining of my heart was swollen. It could be that it was irritated from me coughing so much but he said that he suggests I be tested for COVID19. I called my family doctor and did a telemedicine visit. She put an order for a test for me and I went right away. They took my vitals when I got there, my heart rate was high and I had a fever. Then came the test. The test was awful. I guess people say it’s basically like the flu test but I’ve never had a flu test before. They use a swab and stick it up your nose, twist it around and then do it again on the other side. It made my eyes water and my nose run but once it was over, it was over. I was told I would have the results in 7 to 10 days. I went home, scared and worried. My roommate went out and bought me some medicine to help manage my symptoms. All day Saturday, I was struggling to breathe, I was coughing, I had a headache, my chest hurt, and I was flat out miserable. I didn’t sleep again Saturday night. It was like Friday night all over again.

               Sunday – I had a low grade fever from the moment I woke up - 99.7. I was also so fatigued (probably because I haven’t slept in days at this point), coughing, struggling to catch my breath, and my chest hurt. I stayed in bed, feeling miserable and scared. I still haven’t eaten at this point but I wasn’t hungry. The reality was starting to set in that I might not be okay. I honestly didn’t think I was going to survive. By nighttime, I decided to try to sleep early. I took Mucinex PM to try to help me sleep through the coughing and difficulty breathing. Surprisingly, it worked. I slept through the night.

Monday – I woke up with no fever. My cough wasn’t as deep as previously so I thought that I was getting better. Breathing was a little easier – still a struggle but easier. I thought to myself – okay, it can’t be coronavirus because I’m already getting better. I still didn’t feel well but I felt like I could see the other side of this, the recovery. But it was short lived. Even with the Tylenol and Mucinex my fever came back by NOON. I was coughing again, struggling to breath, etc. My anxiety kicked in too at this point and my hands and feet were sweating and tingling and I was scared. I was literally open-mouthed gasping for air but unable to get a deep breath. I went through the whole night like this. Another sleepless night.

Tuesday – Low fever, headache, cough, but not struggling to catch my breath as often. I tried a little solid food but ended up having a coughing fit immediately after the first couple bites. I was weak and tired and my lungs felt like they were on fire after coughing. But I managed to sleep Tuesday night, thankfully.

Wednesday – Still coughing, still had a low fever, still struggling to catch my breath. I was doing better than Tuesday, though. I ate soup, drank a protein shake, and felt like I could be on the mend.

Thursday – I went backwards. I felt so sick again. I didn’t sleep well Wednesday. I was up constantly trying to catch my breath or cough.

Friday – Coughing a lot again. Any activity resulted in a deep cough and then 5 to 10 minutes of trying to catch my breath afterwards. But I ate finally. I actually had an appetite. My breathing was easier but still not great. After each bite, it took me a few minutes to catch my breath again before the next bite. That left me feeling exhausted and frustrated. However, I realized that I was doing much better today than I was a week ago. Progress has been slow but I am doing better.

Saturday – So that brings us to today – I got a call at 11 am this morning. They had my test results. The woman sounded chipper at first but immediately after I confirmed that I was in fact who I am, her voice got very low and she told me that I am positive for COVID19. It took me a little while to process my thoughts and emotions but I decided that I could use this to help others. I know every case is different but if someone else is going through a mild case and is scared or anxious, there is hope. I am exactly at two weeks from when I was exposed and I feel better. Not great, hell not even good, but better. The worst is over (hopefully) and I’m recovering. I still fight to catch my breath every 20 or 30 minutes and I still have coughing fits and eating is still a struggle. But I’m getting better and I refuse to stop trying to get better.

So people, please take this seriously. I was fighting to breathe for days and was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know if I was going to come out of this alive or not. Thankfully, I did start getting better. Thankfully it was a mild case. There are people out there that have it much worse than I did or do. Do your part and stay home. Self-isolation and social distancing is the only way that we can flatten the curve.

TL;DR – I have a mild case of coronavirus. I coughed a lot, fought for my breath, but I’m getting better.

[lexinthelibraryofdreams]

Family (Part I)

Imagine: “Someone needs to write a fic where Spencer figured out his girlfriend, or wife, is pregnant before she even thinks that’s a possibility as to why she has been feeling sick. It’d be super soft and I’m all here for it.”

Words: 1423

A/N:  a friendship-offering for the lovely @reid-effect  Sorry it took me like a billion years to write but I was actually afraid of posting it :/ I don’t think I ever edited any other fic that often and heavily and I’m still not 100% satisfied. Hope it does your idea somewhat justice

Also the title is dumb but I couldn’t find something better. If you have some suggestions, feel free to tell me :)

Warnings:  -

You quickly brushed your teeth after getting off the floor and walked back to the bedroom, where your husband was still in bed. He blinked up at you, brushing his messy locks out of his face. With a smile, you sat down on your side of the bed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Good morning,” you mumbled against his skin and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you down next to him. After wriggling into a comfortable position, you started drawing patterns onto his chest while listening to his heartbeat.

“You are up early,” he said and you hummed. “Yeah, I probably caught something. Yesterday I felt nauseous already but I don’t think it’s something serious. Don’t worry,” you replied with a smile and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Okay,” he mused and brushed his fingers through your hair.  “Do you have to work today?” you asked and he shook his head, much to your joy. “Awesome. We deserve some time together,” you hummed and reached up to draw your fingers through his hair. After a while, he stretched under you and you craned your neck to look up at him. “You hungry?” he asked and you shook your head. “No, don’t think food is any good after vomiting,” you said and he raised an eyebrow, so you shrugged slightly. “But a tea would be nice,” you added with a sweet smile. 

He chuckled and sat up after you rolled off of him. “Alright. I’ll be back in a second,” he said and you smiled. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you replied before rolling onto your back. You skidded upwards, leaning against the headboard, then you grabbed the book off of your night stand and started reading, hoping to zone out the lingering feeling of nausea and dizziness. You hated being sick, so if it wouldn’t die down in the next few days, you had to go to the doctor. When Spencer put down the cup on your night stand and sat down next to you, you closed the book and smiled at him. “You are an angel,” you mused before pecking his lips and taking the cup. 

“School starts in a week, so if it isn’t anything grave, you should be fit by then,” he said and you nodded, taking a sip. He had put some honey in it, just like you always did. Small gestures like that still made your heart flutter and sent a smile across your face, no matter how long you had been with him.  “I sure hope so. Don’t think that the students’ parents appreciate me spreading around the flu,” you replied with a grin and he chuckled. “Yeah, you might be right with that.” His eyes wandered towards the book. “Frankenstein?” he asked with a smile and you shrugged. “I wanted to stock up on my knowledge of classic horror literature. And even you can’t deny that it’s just that.” A grin crossed his face. “Wouldn’t dare.” At first he had found your interest for the horror and thriller genre somewhat strange but after getting to know you, it had just become another part he fell in love with. 

“Want me to read to you?” he asked and you nodded, nestling into the bed as he grabbed the book. Wrapping your hands around your cup, you listened to him, watching him intently while he read to you and a content smile settled onto your face. In moments like these you wondered how you had been so lucky to meet and fall in love with him.

After a while, he set down the book and looked back up at you. “Did you even listen?” he asked with a soft smile and you nodded. “Of course. I can listen and admire you at the same time.” You emptied your cup and put it back down onto the night stand. “How about we order some lunch. I mean, I’ll take something light but I’m starting to get hungry,” you suggested and he nodded. 

The two of you spent the rest of the day cuddling on the couch and watching movies. You were wrapped in a blanket and propped up against his chest, with his arms around you. It was starting to get late, when you stretched a little. “I really needed this today. I know it wasn’t really exciting but I enjoyed it,” you said and he smiled, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “So did I.” He brushed his fingers through your hair and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. After another few moments, you sat up and yawned. “Damn, I didn’t do anything and still am tired as hell,” you mumbled and absentmindedly rubbed across your chest in hopes of relieving some of the built up tension there. Being caught in your own thoughts, you didn’t notice for a moment that he was watching you intently.

“What?” you asked and he only shook his head. “Nothing. Go to bed, you need some rest. I’ll clean this,” he gestures towards the take out boxes on the coffee table,” and do some work, then I’ll join you, alright?” You nodded and pecked his cheek before wandering off into the bedroom. You changed into a fresh set of pajamas and brushed your teeth before practically falling into bed. Immediately, you were out like a light, only waking up briefly when Spencer crawled into bed and pulled you up against him.

Your night was cut short again when your stomach started to rebel. A quick glance on your alarm clock showed that it was way before your usual wake up time. Again. Normally, you would have just turned around again but today your body had a different plan for you. When you felt your throat tighten, you bolted out of bed and into the bathroom, accidentally waking Spencer. He followed you quickly, brushing your hair out of your face and holding it back as you leaned over the toilet. His hand trailed up and down your back and once it was over, he handed you a glass of water which you used to get rid of the most of the taste. While you pulled your hair into a messy bun - a precaution in case your stomach decided to turn again - he was looking through the cabinet where you stored your medicine. “Sorry for waking you,” you said and suppressed a yawn, then took out your toothbrush and toothpaste. 

He only shot you a warm smile and replied, “Well, I usually can imagine more fun things to do at five in the morning but I don’t mind. That just confirmed my suspicions.” You raised an eyebrow at him. “What suspicions are there?” you asked but he only handed you a pack of pills. You looked down on them and it hit you like a truck. “I believe you are pregnant,” he said softly as you stared at the birth control pills in your hand, which you should have been supposed to take again after your period. You would have, if you had gotten your period in the first place. Normally you would have noticed but the stress of school starting soon and you taking over a new class had somehow allowed the fact that you were almost two weeks past your usual date to slip past you.

“Are you okay?” he asked and put a hand on your forearm. You nodded and swallowed, then looked up at him. “Yeah, I mean, I’m kind of out of it at the moment but I think I’m alright. I mean I always wanted kids and...” you stopped your rambling when a thought crossed your mind. You had never talked to Spencer about the matter. “Um, I know we never, you know, really talked about this-” you started but stopped when he put his hand on your cheek. “You have no idea how incredibly happy I am at the moment,” he said quietly and earnestly and you could see it in his eyes that he meant every word. Yours started to burn with tears as you smiled at him which he returned. “I’m glad,” you said and put your hand on his, “You will be an amazing father.” His face softened a little and he pulled you into a hug, pressing his face against your neck. You knew about his doubts because of his own parents but you would make sure to remind him every day from now on that he was a million times better than them. 

Part II