#like i know you guys want to add more rep

[angel---eater]

i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using

[kerosene-saint]

I know people like to headcanon the killjoy as having certain physical disabilities but like. as a physically disabled person they wouldn't do as well as you think they would out in the zones. I mean some will but like. it's not like you can just go running around in the sand if you're in a lot of pain and I know for sure pain mess aren't a thing in the zones because the only medication is the stuff that makes you basically brainwashed.

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Issue 28 (2024)

By Brij, Dion, Briar, Jen and Peter

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

The surprises are just never-ending!

The Halloween Issues are successfully behind us. But don’t worry, there’s still more exciting things to come! Check out the Announcements for more information!

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form!

Still looking for members!

The Zine Team is growing, but we won’t say no to more free hands looking to make a little difference in the community!

If you too would like to help us out in a more official capacity, please shoot us a message! You can check out the available positions here, but if you’d like to help in any other way, feel free to contact us as well!

We hope you enjoy this new issue!

BRIJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : BITSY JAM ~

Fuu, already #85?

Bitsy is a little engine for little games, worlds, and stories created by Adam Le Doux that makes game making look easier than ever! I mean really! You can use it to make a game in your browser just by drawing it! Thanks to the simple pixelated graphics and limited colour palette you can make basically anything from simple short stories to complicated masterpieces.

The first jam (with a yummy theme: Breakfast) took place on April 8th 2017. Now it’s a monthly occurrence, each time with a new challenging theme that the creators themselves (or even possibly you) get to vote on.

Petrichor, temporary, intentionally bad, tomatoes, no dialogue, long distances, secret place, bitsy fest jam, lost media and waiting are just the ten most recent ones. This month’s theme is game manual - the theme can be the core of the game, or just a small reference. Anything really. The main point of this jam is to have fun and make something! (Just make sure that your game is made in one of these: bitsy, mosi or bipsi.)

So why not give it a shot?

~ ENDED ~

The Halloween Jam has officially ended and the winners have been announced! Check out the results here.

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 has officially started! To vote and participate as a jury, you must do so by giving between 1 to 5 stars on each entry page of the jam. The voting period ends on November 30.

The 7th edition of inkJam is in motion and you have until the 15th November to vote for your faves. The winners will be officially announced the following day.

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

Bare your teeth and sharpen your claws because the Monstrous Desires 2024 Visual Novel Jam is here! Dedicated to the love of entities, horrors, and monstrosities, this jam will be full of romantic Visual Novels (VN) that heavily focus on a monster may it be original or from classics, folklore, modern media, etc.

The October Bitsy Jam is here! The theme is game manual and you have until November 11th to submit your projects.

~ OTHER ~

Jams are a great way to find new games! Don’t be afraid to check out submissions from previous years as well. There might be some gems hiding between them!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

The corpos are after you. The cops are, too. Even your ex has crawled out of the grave to try and get you back. Meanwhile, the fate of the galaxy itself rests on a knife’s edge, and only you can bar the doors of hell in Whiskey-Four (CScript)

In Between Two Worlds (CScript) join forces with a rogue smuggler to uncover the truth of a mysterious cult and foil their plans—but who can you trust in a time of uncertainty and darkness?

It’s natural to hold onto the memory of someone you loved and lost. But when does remembrance turn to fixation? When does clinging to the past begin to warp your present and future? Find out in That Which Surrounds. @blank-house

Blood Moon Rising is a text-based IF where vampires kidnapped your father. Now you need to get him back to safety at all costs.

You wake up in a dark forest, all alone. Who are you? What’s going on? Play The ritual (bitsy) and find your way inside the forest and discover the truth about the mysterious ritual that brought you here…

In Monstrous Brew play as Mae, a cute pastel witch, finding refuge in her bakery. What will she do when a feather flutters into her hand, foreboding a her death?

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Godsbane: Book One (CScript) Since the day of your birth, everything was nothing short of perfect. So why do you still see this face? Why does it burn so much? @speechlessturtle

Love After Death (Twine) Your past is in the past. And your future is with your lover. No more stress. No more tears, rage, helplessness, or feeling powerless. But isn't it going a bit too smoothly?

In Unneeded Script (Twine) you died in a car accident. Now, it's time to try again in a fantastic setting, but oh wait! You are a villain! Good luck! @unneededscript-if

In When Love and Law Collide (CScript) you are a newbie police officer. And as a police officer, your mandate is simple. Apprehend those who don’t follow the law. But what if you get caught in the rivalry between two warring clans - and two people who make you ignore the laws and follow your heart? @biinthecity

Addy (Ren’Py) - Welcome to Nowhere Tech, transfer student- where you'll meet people, make choices, make mistakes, and make even more mistakes.

Hana's got some skeletons in her closet. For the past few years the hustle and bustle of the city has served as a great distraction, but the time has come for her to view the reality of what happened to her in MINE MEMORY.

~ UPDATES ~

College Tennis: Origin Story (CScript) released Chapter 6 to the public. @collegetennisoriginstory

Cyberpolice (CScript) added the Romantic part of Stillwater one night stand scene to their demo.

Remnants of the Past (Twine) released Chapter 3 of Act 2. @remnantsofthepast-if

The Ballad of the Young Gods (Twine) released Chapters 2 and 3. @childrenofcain-if

Vice Virtue (Twine) added new content to Chapter 1. @dam-peace

Only Flesh and Blood (Ren’Py) updated the demo. @gauloiseblue

The Bureau - Halloween special (CScript) is here. @morbethgames

Crystal Lambs (Ren’Py) released Chapter 4.

Dice & Dungeon Masters (CScript) added new content to their demo.

Hooves & Hearts (Twine) released Chapter 1: Rudolph and Dasher.

~ OTHER ~

The author of The Sword of Rhivenia (CScript) is also back with a remake! Be sure to check out the demo.

The VNture podcast is back with another episode! This time talking about spooky scary monsters.

The wait is over and the Reincarnation Of The Archdemon (CScript) demo relaunch is here.

Chronicles of Taldun: The Remainder Expanded Edition is out. There’s a lot of new content, so be sure to check it out!

~

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Sanguine Sky by @sanguinesky-if (CScript)

HEYYYY! for the game highlight, may I please mention "Sanguine Sky" by the amazing @ sanguinesky-if ??? I swear this IF is so lovely, and the ROs always have my heart racing. Not to mention the amazing writing!

//submitted by anon//

Flight by Cidney Hamilton (Twine)

You moved overseas for love. But was it worth it? A short piece of hypertext fiction about leaving a toxic relationship.

//recommended by the Team//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

Did you miss our Small Talk portion of the Zine? Then you have a reason to celebrate because we’re bringing it back!

You’ve read it right! The interviews are back thanks to our new Team members: BRIAR AND PETER! Welcome to the Team guys, we’re happy to have you! There’s already an interview in the works and we can wait to share it with you!

And we will be interviewing... *insert drumroll here*

LEIA TALON!

Fantasy romance writer, author of the newly released Ink and Intrigue, Their Majesties' Pleasure and The World Tree Chronicles book series.

Send us any question you'd have for her and we’ll ask her for you! Whether it's general or ultra specific, tell us what you'd like to know!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our awesome anon!

For sending us their game Highlight!

As always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on the last issue!

What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We’re also currently working on a Meet the Team post, so be excited for that!

And see you again next week!

BRIJ, DION, BRIAR, JEN AND PETER

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 28

[kpopscruggles]

The people are asking for more txt twt links w/ Headcons and your thoughts! Love ur writing and maybe a sunghoon nsfw alphabet? I read some and it's a bit innacurate.. Would love your opinion on it (also new follower so idk much abt if u already posted that *I'll do some reseach :>*)

Thank you for requesting love! I decided to go with the sunghoon a-z because I've never done one and I've alr made a haechan request! 

Nsfw twt are on hold due to me finding some but soon I will bring those back! Anway's enjoy! 

A- aftercare, what he’s like after sex 

I feel he def attends to your needs, he’s at least doing the basics. Wiping you down, getting you cold water and a snack. I feel like he also does this though because he does it for himself if I'm being honest.  

Even if you didn’t care he was going to do it for himself so why not make sure his baby is taken care of too? It just makes sense to him. 

B- body part, their favorite on theirs and partner's body 

For him, his favorite body part on himself has to be his muscle. He’s not loke drooling over himself more than he is you but he does give himself good rep because he can pick you up, move you into diffrent positions with absolutely no problem. So i feel he values his muscles because of you in a sense. 

His favorite body part on you is your legs, he loves your legs. He loves how they are always in his lap, wrapped around his waist, on his shoulders. He loves kissing your ankles while ponding into you, also bonus points if you're wearing an ankle. 

C- cum, anything to do with cum 

I think he’s a clean guy UNLESS it involves a creampie. If he’s wanting you to swallow then he’s staying in your mouth, you must bribe him little to give you a facial or pearl necklace. Now like I said if it’s a creampie it’s sticky, messy, a shower after type fuck.  

Add in is I do believe he cums a lot, now realistic but he's got a nice stream going and is the type to squeeze his tip to make sure every bit comes out.  

D- dirty secret, self-explanatory  

Hoon’s got a few dirty secrets I believe but I think the main one he possesses and will never let you know unless you find out is bragging. And although this does not seem off but it's the fact, he could do the nastiest freaky things to you and has no shame in bragging about it when the boys try to tease him over it.  

This is something that he says between the boys and the boys, he doesn't get too personal with it, but he spills it by saying it’s something they should try with their girlfriends. 

E- experience, do they know what they are doing? 

I think if he had experience it's only have been one person. Hoon doesn’t strike me as the type who bounces around, for example you two could have dated months and he’s going to be sad ab it for a bit because he takes him time to know if he wants to date or not. 

So, one person but he’s mostly learned everything he’s fond of by himself, by watching porn, reading about it, etc.  

F- favorite position 

I don't think Hoon is basic, but he does use positions that slightly branch from the basic ones. Also keep in mind he finds ways to use his muscle. So, it falls under missionary, but he most has your legs on his shoulders and his moving your hips for you. It allows him to use his arm muscles, he's able to kiss around your ankles because he loves your legs. If not that then most the time it is quite simple missionary. 

G- goofy 

No, unless a simple mistake happens, he's profoundly serious cause he thinks sex is intimate. 

H- hair, how groomed is he? 

I think he keeps himself groomed and trimmed is his favorite. I think there is something about him that likes to keep the bit of hair because it is a human body and its gonna grow. Now he’s not freaking out if it grows a bit longer than planned nor is he judging you because your pussy is pretty to him no matter what. 

I- intimacy, how are they during the moment 

Super intimate, sex is a moment where in your relationship you're showing each other love and affection. Even after an argument sex is something that helps you both realize you love each other. He’ll do anything to have intimate moments with you because he genuinely does cherish them.  

J- jack off, how often? 

A lot. I am a firm believer Hoon has a perverted side and sometimes he’s too embarrassed to admit a simple thing got him hard.  

I also do believe he’s a firm believer of the fact no one can make you cum like yourself. He thinks you should even have moments where even though you have him you nor he should be ashamed of pleasuring yourself 

K- kinks? Top three 

Top three for him is Marking, Teasing, and A bit of overstimulation?  

Many people like to make these kinks rough, but they don't have to be. He likes marking because to him he loves when you nibble on his skin while he fucks you, He loves seeing you squirm a little or having you leave him with a raging boner even, overstimulation he likes because to him it kind of reveals how much or how eager you two wants each other with no shame or remorse for yourself to stop.  

L- Location, favorite places  

He enjoys just sex in the house (he may like the couch more than the bed) but if he’s out he doesn't mind meeting you somewhere private. It’s strange he has that vibe too because I also feel like he gives car sex after a few dates. 

M- motivation, what riles him up 

Anything you do sexually obviously riles him up but something nonsexual that gets him every.single.time, is when you wear certain colors. He thinks romantic colors like red, pink a dark purple, or a nice clean white takes him out every time, double points of the outfit is revealing 

N- no, turn offs 

He’s jealous that something I'll has to agree with most people on this app. Does that mean he won't share? Not technically. (not shipping when I say this) but he won't do threesomes unless it's with someone close, we can you jake as an example. But he’s only gonna do it once and all jake is getting is head. 

Another ultimate turn off is when things feel forced, not like one forcing the other but more of if he feels you are just having sex because you haven't in like a week, yeah, it’s not getting up so don't bother babe, he thinks sex takes time.  

O- oral, preference of giving or receiving 

He prefers giving, I believe. It doesn’t bother him when you wanna give him head, he just doesn’t feel that same ego boosts as when has got you whining while he’s fucking you with his tongue. So, unless he just has the urge to cut down your throat, he’s probably gonna stop your mid-way to ravish you instead. 

P- pace, fast? Rough? Slow? Sensual? 

He’ll get down with everything I do believe. I think if he’s feeling more sensual, he’s keeping his thrusts slow and deep so that orgasm just builds up by the minute. Rough, this is my opinion, but a lot of ppl do make him seem the be super rough, but I don’t think he’s like that and if he is it’s only when you're asking for it. Other than that, his rough is a lil messy and a couple marks but I also think he keeps a medium pace and just makes sure every inch of him fills you. 

Q- quickie? 

So, when I said in the turn off category, he thinks sex takes time. If you get a quickie outta him it’s a giving you head quickie because if his baby needs to cum he’ll gladly help. Other than that, I don't believe out of enha he's a quickie guy. 

R- risk, what are they willing to risk for sex with you? 

If you seem eager to do it, then he’s making his baby happy. If it’s not ruining anything in any way, he’ll do it for you. If it’s something he’s willing to risk, then it was never important is what he'll tell you. 

S- stamina? How many rounds 

I think he can carry about three rounds in his belt, if it's a needy situation 4 but if that's the case then 1 or 2 of the sessions someone is getting head so eventually your guy's breath is caught up. I do believe he spaces these sessions out if it's a 4 rounder but barely does this happen. Other than that, he’s going about three rounds  

T- toys, do they like them? 

Yes, so as said, he does think it’s healthy for you two to have sessions by yourself and you can use toys together but if you two use them when it’s just your personal time.  

U- unfair? Do they often tease? 

He thinks it builds up the need for others. He would love it if you teased him too. I see him as a competition teaser where you two see who gives in first. 

V- volume? Are they vocal? 

He’s a 50/50, what he’s always gonna do is dirty talk, no matter if it’s whispering or full-blown words. Now vocal as moaning wise, he lets out the soft moans, but only the overstimulation hit where he gets louder. 

W- wild card? Something that just randomly makes him relentless 

Knowing someone's listening or watching, or even knowing what you just did. If you are leaving your space after sex and one of the guys makes it obvious then he's getting hard again knowing there’s someone who knew he got to be balls deep inside you. It riles him up knowing he’s that lucky and that someone is jealous enough to tease and try to make fun.  

X- x-ray? What's he giving down there? 

I think he’s skinny but decently big. His tip always stays a pink, he’s got a couple semi prominent veins depending on how long he’s been edge or has held a boner. His balls are settled too, nothing rlly different there, like said he’s nice and trimmed so has a little hair patch. All around he gives pretty dick vibes.  

Y- yearning? High or low sex drive? 

High or normal. Most the time high which I feel is why he’s a guy who takes his time, this man is not thinking about being buried in your cunt 24 hours of the day just for a quick fuck.  

Z- zzzz, how fast he falls asleep after 

He’s tired but he’s not going to sleep without letting you know he loves you and that he enjoyed making you cum, sometimes even tells you thank you. Give a couple of kisses and make sure you're comfy.  

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[tex-now]

Hey is it just me or do certain fans complain about how much they hate the other groups instead of loving theirs.

I don't think calling out the misogyny in this fandom is wrong, not in the slightest (my most popular post is calling out the way people treat ena versus akito because of their gender), but most of the time these call out posts just result in more negativity and arguments rather than any like. Productive discussion.

I don't wanna hear about how minoharu and anhane are more canon than ruikasa and akitoya and are Therefore More Valid And Liking Ruikasa More Is Wrong And Bad (exaggerated but most of the time people do insult a ship in order to promote their own) (also sometimes implies that rarepairs are less valid which is a dick move). I wanna hear about the interesting (and I mean very interesting) relationship that an has with kohane, her feelings of inadequacy and slight envy, I wanna hear about how minori (and the rest of mmj) inspired haruka to get back on the stage, and how minori finally got to "repay" haruka in a way.

I didn't start liking ichika because of people endlessly complaining about how underutilized she is and how You Guys Just Don't Get Her, Read The Stories And you'll Discover That She's Actually Perfect Actually (this one isn't an exaggeration but it was on YouTube not Tumblr so in it goes), I started liking her because I learned about her character, her sheer determination and love for her friends, and her want to resonate with people's hearts from people who really like her.

I'm not gonna pretend the Ruikasa fandom and akitoya fandom can't be annoying, a lot of them are toxic and have a habit of making everything about Ruikasa/akitoya while reducing their relationships with other characters to push their shipping narrative. It pisses me off. A lot. I could write (and probably will write) an entire essay on how entitled and bitchy Ruikasa/akitoya fans can be, and I definitely understand how it can build up resentment towards a ship, and how their mass popularity is most definitely attributed to the fact that they are men (which results in an extreme lack of understanding of their actual characters and overall dynamic, reducing them to "top tall sexy one" and "bottom cute feminine one" which upsets me to hell and back). And calling this out is not wrong in the slightest.

but needlessly attacking a ship that someone likes is not a call out. calling Ruikasa and akitoya "a stupid ship" is not a call out. Actively insulting people for liking it is not a call out. Adding Ruikasa and akitoya tags to your post bashing them is not a callout. It's being a dick. You are not doing anything productive by calling Ruikasa and akitoya shippers idiots or stupid or insulting their taste you are only going to piss people off and you know that you are going to piss people off.

Acknowledge but do not attack. Be civil. And if you cant be civil then save everyone some time and keep it private.

Oh yeah. And be annoying about your blorbos. Make KING kanamafu art. Put shizuairi in Fragile. Talk about how much you love your girl ships and your girl characters and don't event mention the guys, make fanfiction and fanart of the girls, I really really want you to, genuinely, because they do get less rep in the fandom than their male counterparts, so more content of the girls is always great. It feels a lot better than complaining about a ship you don't even like, I promise

(Btw I mention this in the tags but if anyone wants to add input or correct me on something you totally can. My words aren't law and this post is just me stating my thoughts, and I invite you to share yours if you want.)

[taehyucng]

why i think uzi doorman is bisexual 🩷💜💙

i made a thread about this on twitter (ivzura) so i will post it on tumblr too

-

before i start, i want to let everyone know that i am bi and as a bisexual, i notice uzi seems bi coded to me. not sure if any other bisexuals notice or think the same, but these are my thoughts and my perspective

-

• bi lighting

bisexual lighting are used where bisexual characters are portrayed under the colors of pink, purple and blue to show they’re bisexual

uzi is in a lot of bi lighting, not only once but many times. i take bi lighting very seriously bc it’s not that the lights are bisexuals themselves but it is to show and portray bi characters (there’s more than these but i can’t add more images)

in the knife fight scene from nuzi, the lights are all colorful and flashy, but the moment they had their personal talk, it stopped to a specific color (pink, purple, and blue). when n throwed uzi, the colors went back to being colorful and flashy

in ep 6, when the sentinels flashed at nuzi, you can see there is pink, purple and blue (i can only add one video so when you go rewatch the scene, you will get what i mean). the colors from the sentinals eyes and flash is like blue/white, and notice that there isn’t any pink and purple when looking around. there’s a ss of a sentinals flashing the light towards the audience

which should’ve been the same when flashing towards nuzi but it didn’t, pink, purple and blue appeared. i could also say n is also under those bi lighting bc bi lighting appeared when they’re together, so he seems bi coded to me as well.

• attraction

now, i know ppl will say “but we don’t see uzi blushing to any women characters” not every bi characters have too. bi characters can be confirmed bi and that’s it, it’s still a rep. bi ppl don’t have to date/blush ppl of every single gender to be bi and this happens to canonical bi characters too (luz, marceline, sasha) about how it’s not enough for ppl. it’s always bi characters having to “prove” or not “bi enough” for ppl to accept them as bisexual. mind you, hunter from the owl house is confirmed bi and we don’t see him blushing or dating any guys, however, have a bi patch on his jacket and bi colors from dana’s art. sasha from amphibia only have a bi sticker and is confirmed bi. this can happen the same with uzi (and n) by the lighting and uzi seems to have men/masculine preference. “i don’t feel any sapphic vibes from her” is being bi not sapphic to you? even if bisexuals date the opposite gender, it does not take away being wlw/nblw. bisexuals are still sapphic no matter who we date bc sexuality is about attraction and not dating history. i really need ppl to get rid of that biphobic mindset that bisexual ppl (including characters in media) needs to “prove” themselves that they are bi. most of you don’t even understand bisexuality at all.

-

we only have 6 episodes and s1 is still not over so don’t expect this to be long. anyway, uzi is bi with men/masculine preference and n is also bi, so nuzi is bi4bi (we need more bi4bi in media). i don’t want ppl to use uzi as a robot as an excuse to be biphobic. “uzi is binary code, her love interest in male, etc.” this is a series called murder drones, all drones have personality, have thoughts, feelings, families, etc. uzi grew WINGS and TAIL, so why can’t she be bi? and n is her love interest but it doesn’t mean she can’t be bisexual. again, bisexuals don’t have to prove to date the same gender to be bi. what’s funny is ppl think she can’t be bi and yet, assume she’s straight (when she has no confirmed sexuality) bc ppl see straight as a default.

[silver-hwaberry]

TWENTY-ONE: shooting stars

Warnings: anxiety, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, safe word set but not used, spanking, swearing

Word count: 11.3K

Summary: KCON day has arrived and Luna is there for a member who is struggling. While another member has planned a night for just the two of them under the stars in LA.

From the moment Jongho woke up in his hotel room in LA, he felt off. Something wasn’t right and he couldn’t figure out what. He presumed at first it was maybe the long flight the day before with a full day at kcon ahead of them. So he did his usual routine for when they were away for work of getting up early and going down to the gym. To his surprise, Luna and Yeosang were in there. Luna was running on the treadmill while Yeosang was doing weight lifting.

"Hey Jongho!" Luna greets with a smile, increasing her pace on the treadmill.

Jongho returns the smile, feeling a bit more awake now that he has seen her. "Morning, Luna." he replies, making his way over to the weights area where Yeosang was focused on his reps.

As Jongho began his workout, he found himself stealing glances at Luna's intense treadmill session. The rhythmic thumping of her strides against the machine echoed in the gym, providing a steady beat to their morning routine. After a while, Luna slows down, her breaths becoming more laboured.

"Oh my god, I am so done now!" she exclaimed, stopping the treadmill and wiping sweat from her face.

“You did well.” Yeosang replies placing the weights down

“That is a lie, but I’ll take the compliment anyway.” she laughs walking over to him

Jongho watches as she wipes some sweat from Yeosangs forehead with her towel before pulling him in for a kiss. As Yeosang wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her back Jongho quickly averts his gaze, feeling like he is intruding on a private moment between them. When they break apart Yeosang goes over to the water machine to refill his water bottle. Luna notices Jonghos quiet demeanor.

"Hey, Jongho, you're awfully quiet over there. Everything okay?" Luna asks softly

Jongho forces a smile. "Yeah, I'm good." he replies nonchalantly, not wanting to burden her with his concerns as he puts the weight he was lifting onto the floor and stretches his arms

"Jjong, you know you can talk to me, right? I’m here for you, if you need anything." she reassures him, her voice soft and comforting.

Feeling her genuine care and support for him, he considers telling her but he couldn’t pinpoint himself exactly why he was feeling this way. “Honestly, I’m just tired. From the flight yesterday and having a full day ahead of us at kcon.” he says, “I’ll be fine once I’ve had my workout and breakfast.” he adds

Luna looks at him, not quite believing him but not wanting to push him either. She reaches over and holds onto one of his hands. “Okay.” she nods, “Remember that I am always here though.”

Feeling the warmth of her hand in his, Jongho laces their fingers and gives her a small smile. “I know, thank you sweetheart.”

Yeosang comes back over to them, gulping down the cool water. He notices their entwined hands and smiles to himself at seeing Jongho allowing himself to be open with someone.

“Anyway, I better go get my stinky ass in the shower. I’ll see you guys later on when we get picked up.” she says giving Jonghos hand a tiny squeeze before kissing Yeosangs cheek and leaving

Jongho and Yeosang continued their workout in a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. The gym gradually filled up as the morning wore on, the quiet atmosphere replaced by the hum of activity. As they finished their workout, Jongho felt his energy levels have increased but the unease was still there.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you two so early.” Jongho says, “Thought I’d have the gym to myself at such an early hour.”

“Wasn’t planning to come down this early to be honest but I couldn’t really sleep so got up and I found Luna waiting for the elevator.” Yeosang replies, “Wasn’t expecting to see her either.”

“How was she this morning?” Jongho asks

As they all gathered in Hongjoong's room for dinner the night before, not a single one of them spoke of the panic attack that had occurred on the plane. It was an agreement the 8 of them made before Yunho arrived with her, that they would only speak about it if she brought it up first. While mostly everyone was asleep on the plane Luna had spoken to Seonghwa privately, telling him how embarrassed she was by what happened and although he had reassured her she had nothing to be embarrassed about, she said she still felt self-conscious about it. So not wanting to make her uncomfortable, they made the decision not to talk about it.

“Her usual happy and bright self. I think she got a good nights sleep.” Yeosang answers as Jongho nods. Little did they know she didn’t get as much sleep as the others did and neither did Yunho who’s room she’d spent the night in after the dinner.

After Jongho and Yeosang cleaned up they went back to their rooms but the feeling inside of Jongho was still there. He had hoped the workout would have settled it so he continued with his morning routine of having a shower and ordering breakfast to his room before going to the conference room that had been set up for hair and make up.

“Where is Luna?” San asks, scanning the room as he enters

“She’ll be coming down soon.” Hongjoong answers as Chaeyoung runs a brush through his hair

“I don’t get why Luna is always around!” Chaeyoung blurts out.

“Luna is our translator.” Hongjoong answers in a monotone voice, “She’ll always be with us, that’s her job.”

He had picked up on the looks Chaeyoung would give Luna when she was around and how Luna kept her distance from her. It didn’t surprise him though as most of the staff did the exact same because of Chaeyoungs attitude and her little mean girl gang. Hongjoong knew how outspoken Luna was too and had assumed she was keeping herself away so as not to say anything. Either way Hongjoong didn’t like Chaeyoung but he tolerated her because she excelled at her job and in order to keep her away from the other guys after the incident with Yunho, he volunteered himself.

“I get that, Joongie,” she sighs. “But does she really need to be in hair and makeup? Or hanging around when she isn’t needed?”

“Yes, because we’re about to attend a predominantly English-speaking event in 30 minutes. We need to be prepared,” he replies curtly. “And it’s Hongjoong to you,” he adds, feeling a hot sensation of irritation at hearing her use the nickname that made his heart flutter and a reason to smile when Luna said it. From Chaeyoung’s mouth, it made his stomach turn. He felt it to be incredibly unprofessional as well when they were coworkers only, they had no form of friendship outside of her styling his hair.

“I..I’m sorry…I’m..” she stammers, her eyes wide as she looks at him through the mirror

“Lets just focus on work.” he interrupts

She nods and continues styling his hair. At that moment, Luna enters the room and the others greet her politely. Hongjoong notices the eye roll from Chaeyoung through the mirror in front of him.

As Luna takes her seat in the corner of the room, Wooyoung glances over at her and asks, "How are you feeling today, Luna? Did you sleep well?"

Luna smiles warmly and replies, "I'm feeling great, thank you. I slept…. good.” she glances over at Yunho briefly who gives her a discreet smile in return,

“That’s good!” Wooyoung smiles, “Ready for a busy day ahead?”

“I am excited for the event and fully ready to help out however I can."

Hongjoong nods in approval before turning his attention back to Chaeyoung. Sensing a tense atmosphere with Chaeyoung staring at Luna through the mirror, he decides to break the silence by saying, "Let's make sure everything is perfect today. We need to show our best selves at this event."

Chaeyoung, still feeling uneasy after her slip-up earlier, chimes in nervously, "Yeah, of course. I'll make sure everything is ready for you guys. Sorry again for earlier."

“Lets just focus on our individual jobs and not what other people are doing.” he states firmly as she can only nod in response.

Nearly everyone is ready to leave now. The stylists with the outfits had already gone ahead to set up the changing room at the venue. Most of the hair and makeup was done, and cars were arranged for transport. Luna looks around the room, feeling a mix of excitement and nerves bubble inside her. This was her first English-speaking event with the team—a chance to prove herself to both the company and the guys as the right choice for the job.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

So far the day has gone well, they have done a couple of interviews and handled the English perfectly. Luna hadn’t needed to help translate anything but was there to support them if they needed, and her constant presence nearby them bolstered their confidence.

As the concert's start near, Ateez prepare to open the show. Everyone is gathered in their designated changing area, stylists putting finishing touches to outfits, ensuring micpacks are secure and hidden, etc. Jongho sits in a corner, hands trembling as he mentally rehearses the choreography for the kcon signature song. Luna notices his tense demeanour and shaking hands. She has never seen him this nervous before and felt a pang of worry. Approaching him, she glances at the staff finalising outfits and hair for the others, making sure no one was watching her. "Hey, it's going to be okay," she says soothingly.

Jongho looks up at her with wide eyes, his bottom lip trembling. "But what if I mess up? What if I let everyone down?" he whispers, his voice cracking.

Luna takes another look around, she knows they aren’t due on stage for another 20 minutes. “Come with me.” she says

Jongho rises from his seat, following her into a cramped room attached to their preparation area. The space is cluttered with racks of outfits and boxes piled high, but they are alone. She closes the door behind them, shutting out the chatter and bustle of the main room. Turning to face him, she sees his clammy cheeks and her heart clenches. Stepping closer, she takes his hands in hers, offering a gesture of comfort in front of him.

“Talk to me.” she urges softly. Jongho remains silent, his gaze fixed on the ground, “It is just us two here. You can tell me anything you want to and I promise, it won’t leave this room.”

Jongho's eyes flicker nervously as they meet hers. Even though she stands a couple of feet away, he can feel the warmth radiating from her and it instantly calms his racing heart. He hates being vulnerable in front of others, always afraid of judgement or rejection. Throughout his life, he has never known how to respond when people tried to help him, often pushing them away instead.

But standing here with Luna, her small soft hands in his, he feels something shift inside him. As he looks down at her, her full attention solely on him, he feels his walls begin to crumble. It scares him and enthrals him all at once. He takes a deep breath, his bottom lip trembling as he finally voices his fears. "But what if I mess up? What if I let everyone down?" he whispers.

Luna smiles softly, one of her hands leaves his and touches his face, her fingers gently touch his cheek. "You won't mess up, and you will never let anyone down."

Jongho's chest rises and falls in rapid breaths as he struggles to control his emotions. Luna knows that words alone wouldn't be enough to ease his anxiety, so without hesitation, she did what she always does when someone she cares about needs comfort – enveloping him in a warm embrace.

She understands the risk of crossing this physical boundary with him, but she can’t see him this way and not try to provide him with a bit of solace. Her arms wrap around his sturdy frame, pulling him close to her, careful not to disturb his hair or make up. She could feel his tense muscles slowly relaxing against her, his head finding a comfortable spot on her shoulder. They stay like this for a few moments, breathing in sync. Jongho's self-doubt and nerves fade away as he holds onto her tightly.

"Thank you," Jongho mumbles into her shoulder, his voice muffled.

Luna pulls away slightly but still keeping him in her arms, looking at him with a soft smile. "Anytime, Jongho."

"I woke up this morning feeling off, and it only got worse as the day went on," he explains.

"I know that feeling," she responds, gazing into his eyes.

"Learning the choreography for the kcon song in just 6 hours and then rehearsing for the tour on top of that...it's all blending together," he continues. "I'm struggling with the new dances for the tour. Yunho is working hard to teach us, Mingi and Wooyoung has been helping him. I've been watching BBT's videos over and over again in my room at night." He sighs. "Normally, I don't have trouble with choreo but this time it's really getting to me and I don't understand why."

Luna nods and lets him express his emotions, hoping it will ease his stress. She understands the power of verbalising worries.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be unloading to you like this.” he says looking away

"It's perfectly fine and you definitely should be," she replies, gently turning his gaze back to her with her hand on his cheek. "If talking helps you, always come to me. I'm a good listener." Her hand moves to his shoulder as she looks into his eyes. "Jjong, you are amazing. You have more talent in your pinkie finger than most of us have in our entire bodies. I know you'll get on that stage and blow everyone away, like you always do!"

Jongho looks down at her as their surroundings fade away, leaving just the two of them in the world. He smiles, enfolding her in another embrace, relief washing over him at her uplifting words of encouragement and support, and also that he has conquered the barrier of hugging Luna. Though she initiated it, and he's thankful she did.

As they gaze into each other's eyes, the world falls silent and time seems to stop. Jongho leans in, gently brushing his lips against Luna's cheek. When she responds favourably, nestling closer to his touch, he continues trailing soft kisses along her face until he reaches her lips. Looking into her eyes once more, he nods almost subtly as if seeking permission to finally do what they've both been longing for. She smiles her consent. Just as they are about to share their first kiss, the sound of the door opening shatters the moment.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Sans voice says causing Jongho to pull his head back but he keeps a hold of her in his arms, “I didn’t mean to.. interrupt you both.”

“It is fine.” Jongho says looking over at him, Luna feels his hand subtly rub her back and it feels nice, “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, um...” Sans stumbles over his words, clearly flustered by catching them in a private moment. “Hongjoong was looking for you. We need to head to the stage area now.” He nervously scratches the back of his neck. “Sorry again!” With that, he closes the door and leaves them alone once more.

Jongho's gaze stays on the door through which San has just left, a hint of frustration crossing his features. "We never seem to get a moment alone," he murmurs, more to himself than to Luna.

Luna tightens her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "We both know that always going to be hectic and chaotic, there will always be someone floating nearby but we'll find our moments together, where it is just us two." she reassures him.

Jongho turns to Luna, placing his forehead against hers. "I'm holding onto that hope," he whispers, his gaze softening as he takes comfort in her presence. “I really want to kiss you... but not like this. Not in a hurry and not when I have to leave for the stage without being able to see you again until much later tonight because we'll both be busy working all day. I'm not foolish enough to expect the perfect first kiss, but I also don't want it to be rushed."

"Jongho," Luna whispers, "our cafe date is just a couple of days away. I can't wait to have you all to myself, to share our first kiss and whenever that may be, it will be perfect because it will be ours." She smiles at him tenderly, her eyes conveying all the affection she feels for him. “Now lets get back before I get into trouble from Hongjoong for stealing you away!”

As Jongho wraps his arms around her waist, he feels a surge of happiness wash over him. “Our first kiss will be magical and perfect, just like you.” He whispers, pressing a tender kiss against her forehead. A rosy blush spreads across Luna's cheeks at Jongho's gesture, a wave of warmth coursing through her body. “And I’ll handle Hongjoong, I won’t let him scold my little sweetheart!” he adds

She gazes up at him with a sheepish smile, completely caught up in the moment and loving every second of it, she returns the gesture by kissing the back of his hand so as not to ruin his make up. As they lock eyes, their faces flush with an innocent charm reminiscent of besotted teenagers. Jongho smiles widely at her, his signature gummy smile on show and crescent moon eyes.

“Lets go.” she says finally pulling apart from him

She follows him over to the door, seeing that Jongho is carrying himself more confidently and he has gone from being closed off to open and she finds herself smiling as they walk back into the changing area.

“Luna, there you are!” Wooyoung calls out to her in English, walking towards her as Jongho heads over to a stylist to put on his jacket.

Luna is surprised by Wooyoung's sudden use of English, but also feels proud of him. “Hey, what's going on?” she responds in English.

“We want you to watch us from the side of the stage instead of staying back here.” he says quietly, switching back to Korean

“Are you sure? I don’t want to get in the way or distract anyone.” she asks

“Of course we’re sure. We love having you there when we perform and this is a special show for us. We’re opening the show, performing the signature song and it is also your home country.” he replies, “Plus, you know we always want you by our sides.”

Luna feels her heart swell with emotion as she looks at Wooyoung and the rest of the group making their final preparations.

“So will you come?” Wooyoung asks, his voice soft

"Do you even have to ask? I'll always be there for you guys," Luna responds with a light laugh. "I wouldn't miss it for anything."

“Let’s go!” Myeonjin shouts over the noise, signalling that it’s time to head out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Their performance was an energetic and seamless display of talent and passion. The audience, already brimming with anticipation, were immediately swept up in the music as soon as the group stepped onto the stage. This only fuelled the band members to give their all, pouring their hearts into each note and dance move. Luna watched from the sidelines, her eyes sparkling with joy as her boyfriends performed. Unable to contain her excitement, she danced and sang along with the music, joined by Hyunshik. The two of them danced freely at the edge of the stage, not caring who could see them as they enjoyed each other's company.

During "Hala Hala," Hongjoong spotted them, his heart swelling at Luna's carefree happiness with her friend. Between songs, Luna watched intently, pride surging as they flawlessly delivered their rehearsed English speeches amidst their hectic schedules. As the music resumed, she and Hyunshik resumed their playful dancing.

After the final note faded, they hurried back to the waiting area to prepare for the meet-and-greet session and other events. Luna stood ready to assist with translations. Though their stage time was over until the grand finale, their day was far from done. The air buzzed with anticipation for what lay ahead.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

After the show concluded, everyone retreated to the hotel. The guys had already arranged to do a live on YouTube while they ate dinner so Luna went back to her room where she immediately got changed into a pair of black sweatpants, a loose fitting cropped t-shirt and an oversized knitted cardigan, ordered her own dinner while she watched the live. Knowing most of the group would either go out to enjoy their rare free time in LA or head straight to bed, she prepared for a quiet night alone.

Once the live session ended and her food trays were placed outside her door, Luna settled on top of her bed with a book she had planned to read on the plane but hadn’t touched. She had spent that flight sleeping and watching a movie with Yeosang, their hands secretly intertwined under blankets.

Ten minutes later, her phone buzzed, pulling her from the pages. Seeing Hongjoong’s name on the screen made her heart flutter.

Luna feels a little bubble of excitement in her tummy as she puts her phone on the bed and jumps off it, quickly makes her way over to the bathroom to freshen up for him. Apart from their lunch in his studio a few weeks ago this was the first time he’s asked to do something with her that wasn’t at the company building. With the long hours Hongjoong works in his studio, they rarely see one another in the apartment either so opportunities to be alone have been slim to zero.

As she brushes her hair she hears a small knock at her hotel room door, she places the brush back on the dressing table and opens the door to see Hongjoong smiling at her. His heart flutters as he sees her; despite being together all day at work, he yearned for time alone with her in private. Away from work.

“Hey Joongie!” she smiles happily

“Are you ready?” he asks

“I just need to grab my phone and put my sneakers on.” she says, “Come in.”

He follows her inside, taking in her surroundings. Her suitcase lays open in a corner, clothes jumbled inside—clearly not planning to unpack. Her work laptop sat on the desk, screen dark. Her usual Kuromi comfort blanket draped over the bed caught his eye, along with an open book beside it.

"Nice book," he remarks, picking it up gently without losing her place. "Have you had much chance to read it?" He glanced at the cover: The Letters of Vincent Van Gogh.

Luna chuckles, finishing tying her shoelaces. "Only just started it. I got it for the plane ride but ended up sleeping most of it. Maybe I'll get to it on the flight home."

“Do you like to read?” he asks

“Oh yeah! My mom is an English teacher, so I grew up with books. If I wasn’t studying languages, I had my nose stuck in a book.” she answers

“And Van Gogh I see, you like reading art books?” he asks carefully putting it back in the exact position he found it

“I love all books! From trashy romance novels to art history.” she laughs standing up from the seat in the corner and fixing the waistband of her sweats. “In my old job at the hotel I didn’t have any time for reading but now I do, which I absolutely love!” she picks up her phone and slides it into her pocket "Shall we go?" she asks, flashing a bright smile.

"Of course," he says returning her smile, holding the door open for her. They leave the room together and instead of heading to the elevator lobby on their floor Hongjoong walks in the opposite direction with Luna following rather clueless.

"So, where are we headed?" Luna asks curiously as they arrive at the end of the corridor at a smaller looking elevator door.

He looks down at her with a playful glint in his eyes. "It's a surprise," he teases as he presses the button.

Entering the elevator Hongjoong presses the button for the top floor before putting a 4 digit code into the keypad. Luna looks at him with a look of intrigue in her eyes. “Well now I am even more curious!” she giggles

With a charming smile, Hongjoong puts an arm around her shoulders and pulls her towards him. Luna smiles as she cuddles into the side of his body, her head resting on his shoulder. As the lift carries them upwards to their destination, he holds her close, savouring the feeling of her warmth against the side of his body.

The doors open to reveal a breathtaking sight. As they step out onto the rooftop garden, Luna's breath catches in her throat. The sky is dark, but the stars were shining brightly, twinkling like diamonds in the sky. Her eyes widen, taking in the breathtaking sight before her. There are sun loungers dotted around the space. In the corner of the rooftop stands a cute gazebo adorned with beautiful flowers and delicate fairy lights spiralled around the flowers and pillars. There is also strings of lights hanging around the rooftop too and it makes her heart swell at how romantic it all feels. She wasn’t expecting this from him at all.

Hongjoong keeps his eyes fixed on her, a smile creeping onto his face as he looks at her looking around in complete awe. Her big brown eyes sparking under the fairy lights surrounding them.

“Joongie…” she gasps, “This is so beautiful.”

"I thought you might like it," Hongjoong says, smiling at her.

Luna turns to him, a questioning look in her eyes. "But why did you bring me up here?"

Gently taking her hand, Hongjoong pulls her close and wraps his arms around her waist as she snakes hers around his shoulders. "I wanted time alone, just us, away from work and the company. The hotel room didn't seem special enough and I didn’t want to take you out anywhere with other people around. But I remembered how incredible the rooftop was on our last trip here, with complete privacy and I knew it was perfect for us." He presses his lips to hers in a tender kiss. Luna's heart flutters at his gesture, and she couldn't help but feel a warmth in her chest.

As they sit on one of the double sun loungers, Hongjoong pulls a small bag that was hidden underneath it. He opens it to reveal some snacks and drinks. “Strawberries!” she giggles as she hands the container to her

“Not just strawberries.” he grins putting his hand back into the bag.

Luna's eyes widen in surprise as Hongjoong shows her the tub of cream. "Oh, you really went all out, didn't you?" she chuckles, playfully nudging him as he pulls out more snacks and drinks for them both.

"I wanted to make sure we have all the essentials for a perfect evening under the stars," he replies smoothly, scooping out a dollop of cream onto a strawberry and offering it to Luna.

She accepts the strawberry, her lips curling into a smile as she takes a bite. "Mmm, delicious," she remarks, enjoying the sweet combination of fruit and cream.

Beneath the glittering night sky, they share an impromptu picnic on the rooftop. All stress and responsibilities fade away as they sink into complete relaxation, alone together. Conversation flows effortlessly, touching on anything and everything, relishing this rare opportunity to connect without distractions.

"This is amazing, Joongie," she murmurs, looking at him with gratitude and affection in her eyes. "Thank you for this special evening."

Hongjoong's expression softens as he meets her gaze. "I'm just happy to see you smile," he says sincerely, reaching over to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Come here.”

He gathers their empty food containers and drink bottles, placing them back into the bag before pulling her to sit between his legs, her back against his chest. As she settles happily into his embrace, he pulls out a blanket, covering them both.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around much for you.” he whispers in her ear

“You don’t need to apologise.” she replies, “I know you are busy with work.”

“But still, I should be making more time for you.” he adds

“Do I wish you were home more often? Of course I do. Do I hate when you sleep at the studio instead of in your own bed? You bet I do! But it’s because I want to see you taking an actual break and resting. Of course, I want to see you too, but I'm more concerned about your health and well-being.” Luna says

Hongjoong swallows hard, her concern piercing through his defenses. He reflects on the countless hours spent in the studio, unaware of how much she worried for him while he was locked away.

Tightening his hold around her, he presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I promise to make more time for us, to create moments like this—just you and me, no distractions or worries. And I promise to come home more too."

Luna turns her head to look up at Hongjoong. "I appreciate your promise, Joongie," she says softly, her voice filled with warmth. "But, I also understand your passion for music and how hard you work for it. I just want us all to find that balance where we can support each other fully."

Feeling the sincerity in her words, Hongjoong tightens his arms around her, a soft chuckle escaping him. "I'm grateful to have you by my side, Luna. Your understanding and support means everything to me, to all of us."

As they lay there under the vast expanse of stars, Luna felt blessed. She had found acceptance in the most unexpected place. These 8 men opening her eyes to a new world where intimacy wasn't confined to one person but could take many forms and still be beautiful.

Hongjoong looks down at her, his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him. Luna turns her head slightly and looks back at him. “Are you okay, my love?” he asks softly

Luna's eyes shimmer with emotion as she meets Hongjoong's gaze, feeling a rush of warmth at his term of endearment. "I'm more than okay, Joongie," she nods, reaching her hand back to touch his cheek, "I'm happy... truly happy." she adds leaning her head back against his chest.

“I’m glad.” he replies softly. He tenderly presses his lips against her hand, savouring the intimate moment they are experiencing. It's a rare luxury for them, with their busy schedules and the pressure to maintain a professional demeanour in public. Their physical displays of affection have been limited to quick stolen kisses and brief hugs. But now, he caresses her stomach with gentle strokes while she traces her fingers along his jawline, both basking in the warmth and comfort of one another. Luna leans back into him with a soft happy sigh.

Suddenly, a shooting star streaks across the night sky, drawing gasps from both Luna and Hongjoong. “oh my god, did you just see that?!” Luna asks excitedly looking back at him with big sparkling eyes

“I did!” Hongjoong grins, kissing her cheek before putting his lips to her ear whispering, “Make a wish, my love.”

A smile crosses her face as she closes her eyes tight and make a silent wish deep in her heart. When she opens them again she sees him looking at her with a look of adoration in his face.

“What did you wish for?” he asks softly

“I can’t tell you that,” she replies turning her head to kiss him, “It won’t come true if I do.”

Hongjoong chuckles softly, pulling her closer and placing a kiss on the side of her head. “That’s true.” he says resting his head against hers as they look back up the star strewn across night sky. Hongjoong knew he’d picked the right night to do this with Luna. The sky was clear, the air wasn’t too cold, it was a tranquil night for just the two of them after a hectic couple of weeks for them both.

“Joongie?” Luna’s voice is barely a whisper.

“Yes, my love?” he responds, his tone tender.

Luna’s stomach churns with nerves as she finally voices her fear. “Why... why do you guys want me? You’re idols; you could have anyone. Why me? I’m just... nobody.” Her voice tightens, revealing her anxiety.

Hongjoong can see the insecurity in her eyes and he moves to turn her around, sitting her on his lap so they are facing each other. He cups her cheek gently with his hand causing her to look into his eyes. "Luna," he begins, "you’re far from 'nobody' to us. From the moment we met you, we all felt a strong connection to you. There was something about you that we couldn't quite put into words, or even figure out fully what was drawing us all to you. As we got to know you, it became clear to all of us why." He leans in closer, his warm breath brushing against her skin as he continues, "You bring a light into our lives that we didn't even know was missing. Your kindness, strength, uniqueness - your entire being captivates us in ways we never thought possible. We don't want just anyone, Luna. We want you." His words hang in the air between them, heavy with sincerity and a depth of emotion that leaves Luna speechless.

Luna's big, doe-like brown eyes widen in surprise and a flurry of emotions. She searches his deep, warm gaze for any hint of deceit or insincerity, but all she finds is honesty and adoration reflecting back at her. The way his gaze holds hers makes her heart skip a beat, like they are the only two people in the world at that moment. A soft smile tugs at the corners of her mouth as she leans in placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“How are you doing with our situation?” he asks, looking into her eyes seriously

“It’s... good,” she smiles, her hands sliding up his arms to circle his shoulders. “It was strange at first. I second-guessed everything—what I said, did, even wore—wondering what you all thought about me being in a relationship with eight men.” She pauses, recalling moments of doubt and uncertainty.

Hongjoong reads the conflict on her face and gently squeezes her hips reassuringly.

“But then,” she continues “I realised that you guys were just as nervous and unsure about things as I was and it made me relax.” she smiles softly at him, her fingers play with the ends of his fluffy hair

“We definitely were!” he chuckles, his hands holding onto her hips, “A poly relationship is hard to navigate and I understand that it is harder for you than for us. 8 of us and 1 of you, many of us vying for your attention and wanting to spend time with you plus you need your alone time too.”

Luna nods in understanding, feeling gratitude wash over her. She leans closer, resting her head against his chest and taking a deep breath that brings calm.

“You’ve all been so patient with me,” she whispers softly, her voice muffled against his shirt. “And you look after me as well. More than you should have to with your own busy lives.”

Hongjoong wraps his arms around her tightly. “Of course, Luna. We care deeply about your comfort and happiness.”

She looks up at him, her eyes glistening with emotion. “I never imagined I could feel this way about multiple people at once.”

Hongjoong smiles tenderly, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face. “We’re all learning and growing together, Luna. Your presence in our lives has brought us closer and made us stronger as a unit too.” He leans forward and kisses her.

Luna gasps as Hongjoong’s lips meet hers in a passionate kiss, his hands gripping her hips firmly. Their bodies press together; she feels his arousal growing between them. Her breath hitches as she moans into the kiss, tasting the lingering sweetness of earlier snacks on his lips. His fingers trace slow circles on the bare skin of her lower back beneath her loose cardigan, igniting a fire within them both that has nothing to do with the balmy weather outside—a spark of heat that sends shivers up her spine.

She responds to his gentle ministrations by delicately tracing the contours of his face with her fingertips, each stroke igniting their shared skin with an intense need. Her fingers dance lightly over the faint hint of stubble on his chin, drawing a deep, rumbling groan from some hidden part of him that vibrates pleasantly against her own heated flesh.

Luna’s breath hitches as Hongjoong trails kisses down her neck, following the curve with a slow, languid pace. "Joongie," she moans lightly, dropping her head back as he pulls her hips over his, a spark of pleasure hitting her core as it rubs against his hard on. She clings onto him tighter, her nails digging into his back through the fabric of his shirt.

"God, Luna," he breaths against the hollow of her throat, "you're so fucking sexy on top of me like this." Suddenly he grabs her hips and rolls them over so she is lying on the sun-lounger and positions himself above her. His eyes darken with desire as he looks at her sprawled beneath him. He groans, taking her lips in a passionate and deep kiss, tongues dancing as their bodies move against each other. His hands roam her body, feeling every curve and soft places, before running down to cup her ass, pulling her closer to his hardening cock. She moans into the kiss, feeling the heat between them growing stronger as her fingers tug at his hair. Hongjoong can feel himself getting lost in the moment, his hand inching closer and closer to sliding into her sweatpants.

"Fuck, Luna..." he rasps against her mouth, "We...we should stop."

Luna quickly untangles her legs from around his waist and tries to move away. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

"No, no," he pants, dragging her back against him, "I only meant we should retreat somewhere more private if we want to continue this." His hand glides down her taut stomach, toying with the waistband of her sweats. "It's a bit...exposed out here, even if we're alone." He bites his lower lip, voice husky with want.

“Oh shit!” she covers her mouth giggling, “I wasn’t even thinking straight.” Her eyes lock with his again. “So… your room or mine?”

“Mine is closer.” he replies briskly

“Someones a bit impatient.” she teases with a smirk

"Can you blame me?" With a smooth motion, he pushes himself off of her and helps her to stand. Without hesitation, he pulls her towards the elevator door and they move quickly, almost running. Time seems to slow down as they wait for the doors to open, every second feeling like an eternity. But once inside, Hongjoong becomes bold, pressing her firmly against the wall as his hands eagerly explore her body. They are caught up in a frenzy of desire, their lips crashing together in a hungry kiss as the doors close behind them, sealing them in their own private world. Lost in throes of desire, their bodies melt together, hands grasping and caressing.

"Joongie..." Luna mutters, placing her hands on his chest. He stills immediately.

"Am I moving too fast?" he asks, searching her eyes for any signs of hesitation.

"Oh no, not at all!" she giggles. "Just, the cameras..." She nods towards the device in the corner.

"Don't worry, this is a private elevator and our security controls the cameras here tonight, in here and on our floor." he assures her. "No one will ever see the footage. We have complete privacy."

"You really have thought of everything," she marvels.

"I wanted us to be able to be carefree tonight, like a regular couple" he says with a smile. “And no, I didn’t plan for this to be on the cards tonight before you say.” he adds kissing her softly

“I wasn’t going to.” she chuckles kissing him back, “But it is pretty damn perfect.” she adds with a playful grin causing him to blush lightly

The elevator doors glide open with a soft hiss, revealing their floor. Hongjoong reaches for Luna's hand, lacing their fingers as he quickly leads her down the plush carpeted hallway to his room. Giggling, she hurries to match his eager pace until they reach the door. Fingers fumbling in haste, he inserts the keycard and they tumble inside in a fit of playful laughter.

With a soft click, the door swings shut behind them, shutting out the world and leaving Luna and Hongjoong alone in the room. Luna wastes no time, quickly kicking off her sneakers as he does the same, desire in her eyes as she looks at him. His pulse races as she nimbly removes her cardigan, letting it slide down her arms and drop to the floor. Her cropped tee follows suit along with her sweatpants, the clothes falling away to reveal her smooth skin and delicate curves that steal his breath.

"Are you completely certain about this?" he asks softly.

Luna nods emphatically, moving closer until her body is a hairsbreadth from his. Her hands encircle his neck, pulling him into a passionate, spine-tingling kiss as their bodies melt together. A low groan rumbles in his chest and she pushes him against the wall, grinding her hips against his stiff arousal. Lunas hands move down to pull at his sweatpants as he kicks them off. His hands caress her silky skin, tracing her curvy waist before grasping her hips. She tastes of sweet strawberries, inflaming his passion. Scooping her into his arms, he carries her to the expansive bed, their lips still joined in fiery bliss.

Luna gasps as Hongjoong climbs on top of the bed and drops her onto the middle of it, his body hovering over hers. She gazes up at him, her large doe-like eyes full of longing and desire, her lower lip lightly biting into as she tries to contain her emotions. Hands moving to his t-shirt she pulls it over his head revealing his toned chest and abs. Her fingers delicately run over his chest, each touch leaving a lingering trail of fire that spreads throughout his body. Luna wraps her arms around his shoulder, pulling him closer as their lips meet in another passionate kiss.

Hongjoong can't get enough of her, his hands exploring her skin, feeling the softness beneath his touch. He can't get enough of her, can't get close enough. He needs to feel every inch of her, to make her his own for tonight. "You drive me fucking insane!" he moans, his breath hot against her neck. She gasps as he nips at her collarbone, his teeth grazing her sensitive flesh.

Hongjoong's lips continue a trail of fiery kisses down Luna's body, starting from her neck and making their way down to her stomach. With practised ease, he unclasps her bra and tosses it onto the floor. His feast upon the sight of her bare breasts, rising and falling with each ragged breath she takes. The intensity of his gaze and the way his eyes darken further, Luna suddenly feels shy. On instinct her hands cover herself causing Hongjoongs features to instantly soften and look at her. He sees the shyness in her face, her eyebrows lowered, the blush on her cheeks forming as she avoids his gaze.

With a gentle touch, Hongjoong caresses Luna's cheek. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, my love," he says softly, his other hand holding her waist gently. "I want to make you feel good," he continues, "but your comfort is more important to me. If anything feels wrong or you want me to slow down, say 'yellow' and I will stop immediately."

Hongjoong's words instantly soothes Luna's nerves as she slowly lowers her hands, allowing him to gaze upon her fully but his eyes stay fixed on hers.

“I just got shy for a second, but I am fine now.” she smiles threading her fingers in his hair

“Still… remember the word and say it if you need to.” he says, Luna nods in response, “Promise me!” he urges gently, wanting to hear her say the words

“I trust you and I promise,” she says pulling his head down to kiss him. Hongjoongs stomach flips at hearing her say she trusts him causing him to smile into the kiss. “Now, can you please continue what you were doing?” she adds with a mischievous grin on her face

As Hongjoong's lips meet her neck once more, Luna gasps, her body arching into his, the sensation of his kiss setting off a shiver down her spine. With a soft moan, Hongjoong takes one pert nipple into his mouth, delicately sucking on it before tracing his tongue in slow circles around it. Luna moans and arches her back, electricity coursing through her at the sensation. His other hand stroking along her side and hip until it reaches the elastic waistband of her underwear. With agonising slowness, he slides them down over her hips and thighs, revealing the delicate skin beneath.

Hongjoong watches, his breath hitching as he sees Luna spread her legs wide, revealing her pink, swollen folds. Groaning at how wet she is for him already, his cock twitches in anticipation, desperate to be inside her. He reaches up and trails kisses down her stomach, exploring the soft skin of her tummy before moving lower to tease her mound.

Without warning, his tongue plunges into her slick folds – eliciting a shocked gasp from Luna as a surge of pleasure courses through her body. Long, slow licks soon follow before Hongjoong's skilled tongue dances over her swollen clit – teasing and tormenting the sensitive bud until soft moans escape her lips. His strong hands clasp onto her hips and guide them downwards, greedily devouring her.

As he continues to lavish attention on Luna's quivering core, Hongjoong feels his own need grow more insistent with each feverish lick and nibble. Her intoxicating taste and aroma fill his senses, driving him to the brink of madness as he sinks deeper into her. Luna's fingers weave through his hair, tugging gently at the strands as his voracious tongue explores her depths – their connection only growing more powerful with each passing moment.

Eager to bring her to the edge of pleasure, Hongjoong delicately pushes 2 fingers into her entrance - curling them upwards in search of that elusive sweet spot. Luna lets out a loud groan, her legs almost clamping shut around his head as Hongjoong feels a soft spongy area inside of her and he knows instantly he’s found it. He pumps his fingers in and out of her, the wet squelching noises only adding to the eroticism of the moment.

"Joongie," she gasps, her fingers tightening in his hair. "Please."

"Please what?" he asks, his voice low and seductive. He knows exactly what she wants, but he wants to hear her say it.

“Please make me come,” Luna whines, her cheeks flushed with desire

Hongjoong smiles against her skin, relishing the feeling of her body responding to his touch. "Beg for it," he murmurs, his breath hot against her sensitive flesh.

Luna's eyes flutter open, and she looks at him with a mixture of desire and frustration. "Please, Hongjoong," she pleads. "I need to come. I need you."

Hongjoong groans at her words, his control slipping. He pumps his fingers into her harder and faster, his tongue continuing to dance over her clit.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Luna cries out, her body shaking as she reaches her peak. Hongjoong feels her muscles clenching around his fingers, and he knows he's brought her to the brink of pleasure. He continues to lavish attention on her quivering core, drawing out her orgasm until she’s limp and satisfied.

As the waves of pleasure subside, Luna opens her eyes to find Hongjoong watching her with an intense gaze. He slowly removes his fingers, sucking them clean before leaning down to capture her lips in a soft and loving kiss. A soft moan escapes Luna as she tastes herself on his lips.

After a moment of basking in the afterglow, Hongjoong pulls back and gently disentangles Luna's fingers that are still gripping onto his hair. He can tell she is still in a haze from her high so shifts his position, moving to lie next to her on the bed. Their bodies are still close, their bare skin touching in a comforting manner. His eyes never leave her face as he watches her slowly return from the euphoric state he had brought her to.

“Are you okay?” he asks softly as she turns her head to look at him

"Joongie," she whispers, letting out a breathy laugh. "That was amazing. You’re really, really good at that!”

Hongjoong smiles shyly at her reaction. "I loved hearing you moan my name like that," he admits, his voice low and filled with desire.

Luna's eyes soften as she gazes at him. "I want you," she whispers, her fingers trailing lightly over his chest. "I can't get enough of you."

A low, guttural sound escapes him as he leans in closer, brushing his lips against hers in a tender yet urgent kiss. "You have me, my love," he murmurs between kisses. "I've wanted you for so long."

Her hands roam over his chest, feeling the heat of his skin under her palms. "Show me, Joongie," she breathes out, barely audible. "Show me how much you want me."

“I will.” Hongjoong smirks against her lips

His heart races at knowing she wants him just as much as he wants her in this moment. Feeling her fingernails lightly dragging along his back, he pauses for a moment, breaking their kiss. He looks into her eyes, seeing the desire mirrored in his own. But before they go any further, there's something important he needs to address.

Remembering that she sat down with everyone a few nights ago to tell them that she’d had a sexual health check done, her tests had all came back clean. Mentioning to being on birth control as well and giving consent for them to take things further without condoms if they so desired. He couldn't help but admire her openness and trust in their relationship to do this. However he needed to hear her say the words before they go any further.

“Are you 100% sure you are fine without a condom?” he asks, his face going serious, “I have the latex free ones in my bag if you want to use them.”

“You sure you didn’t plan tonight to go this way?” she chuckles lightly, her hands running up his arms

“I swear I didn’t! I’ve just been very prepared,” he laughs back shyly. “For quite a while actually.”

“Well I do like a man who is prepared for any and all situations.” she replies pulling his head down to kiss him, “However, like I said the other day to all of you, I am on birth control. I have been since before I even met you guys to help with my periods and my tests are clean, so whatever you guys want to do is fine with me.”

“I just want to make sure you are definitely okay with it.” he replies

“I am…” she smiles back at him, “Now please Joongie, can you just have sex with me before I combust!”

He chuckles lowly against her skin, a rumble that sends a shiver down her spine before he pulls down the fabric of his black boxer shorts, freeing his painfully erect cock. Luna watches intently as it springs free, biting her lower lip feeling herself grow wetter with anticipation. Hongjoong grins at her reaction and positions himself between her legs. Her eyes move to his face as he licks his lips, a slow smirk spreading across his face. The same one he gets on stage when performing, the one that causes her to get weak in the knees and it hits harder now he is situated between her legs naked, the tip of his cock nudging against her core. "Are you ready for me, Luna?" His husky voice sends a jolt of desire straight through her

She nods eagerly, opening her legs wider for him as he leans down to place a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You are so beautiful, my love." he whispers as he slides into her in one smooth motion, groaning as how tight she feels around him. Luna's breath hitches as she feels him fill her up, her body stretching to accommodate him. She wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him closer as he begins to move inside of her.

“F-feels so good.” Luna whines, her walls tight around him

"You are so tight," he groans. Her hands run over his back and grip tightly onto him as he thrusts into her deeply causing her toes to curl and more loud moans spilling from her mouth. Feeling her body respond to his, Hongjoong quickens his pace, each thrust more powerful than the last.

"Joongie…" she shudders as his teeth gently nip at her skin.

“Yes, my love?” he murmurs

"Turn me over...please!" Luna begs with desperation in her eyes.

Hongjoong captures her lips in a long, deep kiss before nibbling playfully on her earlobe. "As you wish," he whispers against her ear.

In one fluid motion, Hongjoong withdraws and flips Luna onto her stomach, eliciting a sharp gasp. He props a pillow under her hips and positions himself between her legs, his eyes drinking in the sight before him. His hands glide over her backside before entering her again, a tentative slap landing on her ass.

"Oh god," Luna moans loudly as he begins a steady rhythm

“Do you like that?” he smirks, “Does my pretty baby like being spanked?”

Luna gasps, arching her back and burying her face into the bed sheets as he pounds into her from behind. His thrusts are deep and hard, each one sending waves of pleasure through her body. “Y-yes!” Her fingers claw at the sheets, her hips bucking up to meet his forceful strokes with matching urgency. The tight clench of her walls around him draws a growling groan from his throat. His hand collides with her ass again, harder this time, prompting another clench around him.

Hongjoong leans forward, kissing up her back until his lips reach her neck. "You feel so good, Luna," he pants into her ear. "I could stay inside you forever."

"Don't stop, please don't stop," she begs.

Hongjoong chuckles darkly. "Oh trust me, I won't stop until you're completely satisfied, my love."

“Oh fuck! Joongie!” Luna's cry echo around the room as she clutches onto the sheets tighter. "S-sorry, I can’t… hold on."

“Don’t hold back.” he grunts, nibbling at her earlobe while grinding his hips against hers. He feels her body tease with impending pleasure. “Let go, my love,” he whispers, his free hand reaching around to delicately hold her neck.

Luna’s back arches as she surrenders to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her body. She cries out his name as the orgasm washes over her, her inner walls clenching around his length in waves of pleasure.

Hongjoong groans in response, slowing his movements to prevent himself from coming. His hand around her neck squeezing gently while his other arm wraps around her waist, holding her close to him as she trembles uncontrollably, little whimpers coming out her mouth.

“It’s okay, my love.” he whispers softly into her ear, stopping his hips completely “I’ve got you.”

As her tremors subside, Hongjoong gently releases his hold on her neck, his hand now tracing soothing circles on her damp skin. He pulls his upper body back, allowing Luna the space to breathe, his own breaths coming out in ragged pants as he tries hard not to thrust back into her.

“Joongie…” she mumbles as she relaxes, “You didn’t come.” She glances back at him.

He leans down and places a soft kiss on her lips as he pulls out of her.

“Because I wanted to make you come first and then make you come again on my cock.” he smirks adjusting their position

“You better!” she grins back allowing him to pull her body up onto her knees, her back flush with his chest as he lines himself back up with her entrance again

“Is this okay?” he asks, his voice has switched to soft and caring as he rubs her hips, “This isn’t sore on your knees, is it?”

“It’s fine, Joongie,” she smiles, reaching back to hold his head before capturing his lips and playfully biting his lower lip. “Please, fuck me again!”

"Whatever my baby want, my baby gets," he whispers, pulling her closer against him and positioning her so they are both sitting up on their knees, her back flush with his chest

Hongjoong's lips tease the side of her neck with tiny kisses and gentle bites as he slowly thrusts into her rhythmically eliciting small moans from Lunas mouth. Luna's body quivers with each thrust that sends new ripples of pleasure through her. His strokes become erratic in response to her rapidly increasing moans; the force behind each thrust rattles the bed frame beneath them. A powerful wave builds within Luna again with each solid pound into her.

Hongjoong's hand slides from her hip to between her legs, fingers finding and circling her sensitive clit in rhythm with his thrusts. The combination sends Luna spiralling toward her third orgasm of the night. His deep voice rumbles in pleasure-laden tones next to her ear. "You like that, don't you, baby?" he moans.

"Yes, Joongie, yes," her voice is higher pitched than usual, “Please, don’t stop!”

Hongjoong's pace quickens, his movements becoming more intense and primal as he edges closer to release. The tension between them builds, and Luna trembles in his firm hold. Her knees and thighs ache, her balance swaying as she clings to his arms for support. Sensing her struggle, he places both arms around her waist, slows his movements and delicately leans forward with her so is lying on her stomach once more.

“Do you want to lie down properly on your back?” Hongjoong asks gently, kissing her cheek

"Yes, please," Luna replies breathlessly, grateful for his care. He pulls out and helps her turn over, positioning her legs on his shoulders. His eyes meet her flushed face as he leans down, kissing her deeply as he pushes back inside.

“Is this more comfortable for you?” he whispers against her lips

"Mhm," she moans, already lost in pleasure. Her fingers run through his sweat soaked hair. "You feel incredible, Joongie," she says, eyes fluttering shut.

Hongjoong responds by increasing his pace, his hips slapping against Luna’s thighs as he drives deeper inside her. “You’re so tight and warm,” he groans.

Luna gasps, eyes as he hits a particularly sensitive spot, her fingers tightening on his arms. "Oh God, Joongie, right there," she pleads.

"Like this?" He adjusts his angle, hitting it again and again.

"Yes, yes, just like that," Luna moans, nails digging into his arms

Hongjoong continues to thrust into her, their bodies moving together in a smooth rhythm. "Luna, I'm getting close," he warns, his voice strained.

"Me too," she whines

"God, you feel incredible," Hongjoong praises as he feels Luna tighten around him. “Can I come inside you?”

Luna's eyes widen at his request, a mix of surprise and desire swirling in them. She nods eagerly, her voice barely a whisper. "Yes, Joongie!"

Hongjoong's pulse races at her words and the way she is now looking at him. The intensity of their connection grows as he picks up the pace, each thrust bringing them closer to the edge. "Hold onto me," he commands softly, moving her legs from his shoulders to his waist.

Luna complies, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer to her. “Kiss me, please.”

Hongjoong smiles sweetly before leaning down to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, their tongues dancing together as they move in perfect rhythm. "You drive me crazy, Luna," he mumbles against her lips.

Luna gasps, her nails digging into Hongjoong's back. "Don't stop, Joongie. I'm almost there."

Hongjoong's moans grow deeper as he nears release. He thrusts harder and faster as control slips away. Luna's walls clench around him, urging him on. With a final, desperate groan, he releases inside of her. His cock throbs and pulses, filling her with his hot release. Her walls contract around him, her own climax crashing over her in waves. He relentlessly pounds into her, prolonging their ecstasy, until finally collapsing onto her in a satisfied haze.

Hongjoong feels Lunas heart racing against his chest, her breath hot and heavy against his neck. He delicately holds her head, keeping her close, as they both come down from the high, placing soft kisses on her shoulder. The room is filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing and the sweet scent of sweat and sex. Hongjoong's cock twitches inside of her, still hard and throbbing.

Despite being exhausted and sensitive he can’t help but subtly move his hips. Luna lets out a small moan, moving her legs around his waist again, pulling them higher, urging him to continue.

“Again?” he whispers, looking at her through hooded lids

“Please.” she replies softly

He slowly moves his hips, thrusting into her gently as their lips connect. The instant pleasure of the gentle movements contrasts sharply with their previous rough activity but feels more intimate. Luna moans softly against his lips as he intertwines their fingers, continuing with slow yet precise movements.

Their bodies move in a harmonious rhythm, each thrust more languid than the last but still providing an intense pleasure to them both. The room, once filled with their passionate cries and noisy groans, now echoes with soft whispers and quiet moans. Their connection deepens, transcending into an emotional bond that neither of them had anticipated. Hongjoong can already feel himself on the edge but is holding back with all his might. Too embarrassed to admit he is ready to come from this slow encounter.

“Joongie…” she lightly whines, her small fingers grip tightly onto his hand, their intertwined fingers forming a bond that signifies their unity in this moment. “I-i’m close.”

“I’m close too, my love,” he smiles, relieved she is on the edge as well.

Luna arches her back in ecstasy, surrendering herself completely to the pleasure he is giving, her 4th and final orgasm of the night washing over her. “oh god, oh god, oh god.” Her quiet moans become soft cries of pleasure, echoing throughout the room as their passion reaches its climax. Hongjoong empties himself into her again. Once more relishing the sensation and intimacy of having no barrier between them.

In that final moment of utter bliss, they hold onto each other tightly, as if afraid to let go of this intoxicating connection. Their heavy breathing slowly subsides as they come down from the euphoric highs they've reached together.

Hongjoong can feel Luna's body relaxing beneath him, her grip on his body finally loosening. He finally pulls out slowly, wincing at the sensitivity of it all. His eyes catch sight of his cum leaking out of her.

“Shit,” he mumbles, grabbing his discarded boxers from the floor to gently clean the fluid from her.

After cleaning her up he throws his boxers aside and lies back down next to Luna. She instantly curls her body into his as he puts an arm around her. The silence in the room is comfortable, their bodies intertwined. Hongjoong's fingers trace lazy circles on Luna's skin, his touch gentle and soothing. His eyes watch her as she takes a deep breath, starting to come around. Her fingers begin to move gently against his bare chest.

"Wow," Luna finally says, her voice filled with wonder and satisfaction. "That was fucking incredible." a breathy laugh escapes her mouth

Hongjoong smiles down at her. "You're incredible," he corrects her, brushing a sweat soaked lock of hair from her forehead placing an affectionate kiss on her lips, “Was.. it okay for me to come inside you like I did?” he asks nervously

Luna giggles softly, trailing her fingers gently down Hongjoong's damp chest. "It felt amazing, Joongie," she reassures him with twinkling eyes. “Both times!”

“I should have asked beforehand, not in the moment like that.” he says

“If I didn’t want you to I would have said. In the heat of the moment or not, I still know what I want and what I don’t.” she smiles at him “And I knew the second you asked that I wanted you to. I trust you completely Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong exhales a relieved sigh, his concern fading as he gazes into Luna's eyes. "I treasure your trust, Luna. I just want to make sure you're comfortable and happy."

Leaning closer, Luna brushes her lips against his cheek, leaving a trail of feather-light kisses. "I am so happy with you," she whispers sincerely. “And with the others too.”

“I am glad.” he replies kissing her forehead and feeling a joy in his chest he hadn’t felt for a long time.

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, Hongjoong breaks the quietude with a soft question. "Do you want me to order us some food from room service?"

“I’m not hungry, I ate way too much for dinner plus the snacks on the rooftop.” she answers, “But if you are, go ahead and order something!” she adds

"I'm not hungry either, just thought you might be." He pauses, then adds, "We'll cuddle for a bit longer, but then you're drinking some water. You need to hydrate after all that!"

“You take such good care of me!” Luna smiles nuzzling her head further into his chest.

"Then it's a shower before coming back to bed. We have another full day tomorrow with the fansign and other schedules, so we need a proper sleep together." he says

"You want me to stay the night?" she asks, slightly surprised.

“Of course I do!” Hongjoong says looking down at her, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. I guess I took you for a wanting to sleep alone kinda person.” she admits, feelings her cheeks warm

“You are always welcome in my bed anytime you want.” he smiles kissing her forehead

“For cuddling and sleeping… or other stuff?” she grins playfully

“For whatever you want, my love but if you want ‘other stuff’ then I’ll be kicking Seonghwa out!” he laughs “He can bunk with San!”

Luna laughs softly as she cuddles into him again, her heart overflowing with feelings for him, for all of them. She smiles at all the memories she is making and the cherished memories yet to come. But she knows the night she has just spent with Hongjoong, and how insanely intimate it became at the end and the newly formed bond they’ve created will forever be etched into her soul.

Taglist: @kiwibaekie @fudgeflyssworld @kodzukein @khjcoo @pepperony-7 @ateez-babygirl @starillusion13 @truthbehindthereflection @livingdeadlisa @stayteezdreams @atinyapple1117

[twopeoplecanchange]

CALGARY AT MIDNIGHT

quinn hughes x reader

summary: quinn needs a place to stay while going to a wedding in calgary. he gets a hook up from matthew tkachuk, who sets him up in the guest room of your apartment. finally, you won't be spending new years alone.

author's note: this is for @puckmaidens! happy holidays lydia!! i hope you enjoy :)

warnings: nothing just that my jet lagged brain wrote this, so there might be some errors!

wc: 2k

The text comes in on Thursday at 9am while you’re at work. Your phone buzzes on your desk repeatedly until you decide to pick it up.

MATTHEW T.

Hey, you still have extra space in that apartment of yours?

Your brow furrows, wondering why he would be asking this, seeing as he could easily book a nice hotel instead of staying in your dingy apartment.

YOU

Yea, why though?

His text comes in quickly, and it’s not what you expected.

MATTHEW T.

Quinn Hughes needs a place to stay for a weekend or so. Told him I could hook him up.

Of course he would do this. Matt knew of your not-so subtle crush on his childhood friend, and had asked you multiple times if he could set you guys up. You always said no. The first time, you were still with your university boyfriend, the second you just felt that it would be too awkward. Quinn, of course, would know of your crush and you would have no idea if he was even interested in you.

YOU

You’re joking. 

Matthew Tkachuk.

MATTHEW T.

I’m not joking. Get your guest bedroom ready and pick him up from the airport tomorrow.

YOUI hate you.

MATTHEW T.

Love you too 🥰

You sigh, putting your phone down before your supervisor can see. As you move through the workday, which of course just has to be as slow as ever, you can’t stop thinking about how awkward tomorrow might be; having to pick him up from the airport and housing him for three days. Would he avoid you like the plague or make an effort? You could only hope it was the latter.

On Friday morning you take the day off from work and spend the time dusting off every surface in your guest room. You change the sheets and add blankets, seeing that the heater is janky and decides to just not work on some days. You restock your fridge with food you can only hope he’ll want to eat. Then, once it’s the afternoon, you take off for the airport.

You arrive at his gate around 2, no sign, hoping your presence will be enough.

As you stand on your tippy-toes, looking for a sign of the eldest Hughes brother, two texts come in.

MATTHEW T.

Gave Quinn your phone number btw.

UNKNOWN NUMBERHey, this is Quinn. Where are you?

You elect to ignore Matt’s text and instead text Quinn.

YOU

By the coffee shop towards the exit.

You pocket your phone, eyes scanning the crowd when you see Quinn approaching you. He’s even more handsome in person, the tv screen and Matt’s shitty photos not doing him justice. It must be the captaincy. A slight beard grows on his face, his dark hair shaggy but somehow presentable. His eyes are visibly tired, and he looks nervous as he approaches you.

“Y/N?” He asks, his voice quiet and just a tad bit raspy.

“Hey, Quinn. It’s uh, nice to meet you. I mean- I’ve heard stories from Matt but I’m sure they don’t do you justice.” You smile, and Quinn nods, a faint smile on his face.

“Yeah, knowing him they’d probably put me in a worse light.” Quinn jokes as you start to head down to the car park.

“I don’t think that’s possible. You have a pretty good rep.” He nods, cheeks a little bit rosy and his small smile just a tad bit bigger.

The car ride is not as awkward as you expected, you and Quinn fall into easy banter, talking about your memories with Matt, exchanging anecdote after anecdote until you arrive at your apartment. You park and take the elevator up, both of you are silent as you watch the number tick up to the fourth floor.

You quickly both get into your apartment seeing as the hallway is freezing because of the lack of heat. Quinn takes off his shoes and puts them next to yours before settling his bags near the door.

“What would you want to do for dinner?” You ask as you look at your fridge. None of the food looks quite appetizing. Quinn looks into your fridge, his cologne overtaking your senses in the best way. It’s a nice scent, not quite as overpowering as you’d imagine. “Takeout?” You suggest.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Takeout goes surprisingly smoothly. A Christmas movie plays on the screen despite the holiday having already passed, and the two of you eat in a comfortable silence. When you’re done eating, you ask Quinn questions.

When’s the wedding? Tomorrow

Who’s it for? Childhood friend from Toronto who moved to Calgary. ‘Nothing interesting’.

Are you excited? Quinn pauses for a bit, slowly chewing as he comes up with an answer. “I don’t know. I think they expect me to bring a date because they gave me a plus one, but I couldn’t think of someone to bring.” He gets out, the words feeling stuck in his throat.

You can’t tell if this is some kind of joke, if he knows about your crush and is trying to get you interested, just to leave you in the dust.

“Right.” You nod. You tried to think of something better to say, but what he said was not what you had expected. At all.

“I mean…if you wouldn’t mind being my plus one, that would be great. Better that than being alone.” Yeah, better that than being alone. Alone, thinking of all the girls fawning over you because they most likely know who you are. 

Instead of saying something revealing, you just agree. A simple sure does the trick, and he’s thanking you. When you’re settling into bed later, you can’t help but wonder why. Is he interested in you, taking his chance? Or does he simply just not want to deal with the wedding alone? You pass out before you can even realize you don’t have a dress to wear for tomorrow.

You wake up in a panic, hurriedly making breakfast after realizing you do in fact, not have a good dress to wear to the wedding. Nothing formal, everything is either white or too extravagant. Quinn watches confused as you rush around the kitchen, and lets a small teasing comment slip, “You know we don’t have to be at the wedding till like, five, right?” He jokes and you freeze, stopping your every move.

“I don’t have a dress, and I don’t know the color scheme or the theme, and I don’t want to stand out and wear white.” You ramble without taking a single breath.

Quinn hesitates, “It’s okay, we can just go get you a dress right?” His voice is calming, and you smile slightly, turning around. “After breakfast we have to get me a dress.” Quinn nods before heading farther into the kitchen to help you out.

You end up going to a little boutique a few minutes from your house. The dresses are mainly formal, with a few outlier party dresses. Quinn follows you as you scan the racks, picking out three dresses before heading to the changing rooms.

Quinn waits on one of the chairs outside of the dressing rooms, looking at his phone occasionally. Then you step out in the first dress. Quinn blinks, droopy eyes suddenly much more awake. It’s a pretty dress, you say, but it doesn’t feel right. Quinn just can’t get rid of the thought of how beautiful you are.

“You look great,” He blabs, and you let out a startled laugh, hand covering your mouth. “Right, thanks.” You smile weakly before heading back into the dressing room.

The next dress, a startling red, looks great on you, Quinn thinks. But you huff and sigh, saying you hope the next dress is better. Quinn says it looks great, and you laugh it off.

The last dress is a calm purple. Quinn’s eyes widen. You look great. You play with your hair a bit, looking at yourself in the mirror down the hallway.

“It’s…” You start, looking for the right word. 

“Beautiful.” Quinn finishes for you, making your skin burn.

“Yeah,” You nod feebly, hurrying into the dressing room to change back into your clothes.

When you get home, you start getting ready for the wedding in a rush. Putting on the dress, doing your makeup and hair. When you finally leave your room, Quinn is leaning against the back of the couch, idly scrolling through his phone. He looks up at the sound of your door closing and freezes.

Matt had shown him multiple pictures of you, stories, and begged him to let him introduce the two of you. The photos didn’t quite capture your beauty. The stories were bland, they didn’t recall your humor and your joy. He always disagreed, not quite sure. But knowing you now, if Matt suggested setting you guys up, he’d say yes in a heart beat. He’s just not quite sure what your answer would be.

"Ready to go?" You ask, breaking Quinn from his trance. He nods blankly, extending his arm to you. Your skin warms just the slightest, and you wrap your arm around his, pulling him close. His cologne infiltrating your senses, and you blink, steadying yourself.

You drive yourself and Quinn to the venue, and take seats toward the back. A few people come his way, greeting him and asking him about the season, or congratulating him on the teams success. If one of them were to notice you, they'd ask and Quinn would say you were a friend. The couple, the past friend, fan, or the acquaintance would nod, but have a knowing look in their eyes, like they knew all. They didn't, of course, seeing as you were both attending this as friends. If you were even friends. Friend of a friend?

You shook the thought as you watched the couple do their first dance to a cute song you'd never heard the name of. When the song came to an end, every clapped, including you. You didn't notice, too busy watching the newly married couple fondly, but Quinn was watching you, a slight smile on his face.

Once dinner was served, you learned the true meaning of the couple's, wedding. They wanted the party to go to midnight since it was New Year's Eve. They'd have the count down on the screen, and the couple would share a kiss in the center of the room. Any couple would be welcomed to share a kiss as well. It was cute, you thought. If you had someone to kiss you would. It would be a fond memory to share.

The people at the table you were seated at weren't quite close to Quinn, but you made conversation enough for the both of you. As people at the table drifted off to dance, you found yourself in conversation with Quinn. Talking about everything from his brothers, your family, to hockey.

Then, the DJ announced a couple's dance, and the last two people at the table, a couple, got up. They shared a glance before gesturing for you two to join them. You hadn't noticed, but it was nearing midnight, with just around two songs until midnight. Quinn shared a glance with you, and then you stood up, holding out your hand towards him.

Quinn looked worried, but he gently takes your hand and lets you pull him to the dance floor. You have a bright but nervous smile on your face as you settle your hands on Quinn's shoulders, his hesitantly on your waist. You sway side to side as some sappy love song plays. Your eyes get lost in his, but then the music changes to something more jumping, and your eyes get lost. Lights bounce across the room as a time is displayed on the wall. The countdown.

You start jumping along to the music, Quinn as well with a fond smile on his face. Your smile is bright as you shout the words to the club song that Quinn doesn't know the name of. But then the shouting becomes different The countdown. Quinn blinks, starting to yell the numbers as well. Then it gets to eight, and you're turning toward Quinn, eyes locking with his again. Your hands place on his shoulders again, and his hands go to your hips much more confidently. You're both mouthing the numbers until you get to five, and everything changes. The air is different. Tense, you think. Then it hits one, and everyone's cheering. Hey, maybe you're a little bit off on the time, but you kiss him and he kisses you back, and that's all that matters.

[reanimationstation]

BEHOLD. JACK DESIGNS APLENTY TO MATCH WITH THESE SAMMY DESIGNS. I had so much fun designing and drawing these guys, as I wanted to make Jacks that specifically complimented their Sammys. LONG WINDED DESIGN NOTES UNDER THE CUT

Pair 1:

i knew that i wanted to make at least one absurdly tall Jack and he was a perfect candidate

matching music tie and bowtie!!!

i love height difference sam and jacks and jack deserves to be the taller one sometimes

this Jack is probably Dominican. gotta get that latino rep in here lets gooo 💪😎 (lighthearted)

their shirts are the same shade of white which you'll see again in the third pair

iirc i wanted to give tribute to TIOL so I made this Jack orange, though I kept it leaning yellow to better compliment Sammy's blond tips

i think this Jack is the prettiest

Pair 2:

i originally wasn't planning on giving Jack dyed hair but I thought it would be cute for both of them to have it dyed since this Sammy has bleached hair like his VA. I tried to keep it subtle since he already had so much color on him that I didn't want it to look overcrowded

I love red/pink Jacks but instead of a sweater vest I gave him a normal vest since I feel like I don't see that a lot on Jacks?

i tried to lean into more mischievous vibes with him because I think more Jacks deserve to be pranksters, as a treat

he also looks chill to counterbalance a pretty high strung looking Sammy

this Jack is very very loosely inspired by someone I know irl. not really appearance wise, just through vibes

i don't think these two are dating but they are inseparable as per usual

Pair 3:

the glasses on Jack were a last minute addition because i KEEP ON FORGETTING TO GIVE CHARACTERS GLASSES

the green sweater and hat match his Sammy's green eyes (not pictured here). i like to think he does this on purpose

they both have gray hair because i think its so pretty

i think this Jack is probably the cutest

this pair is comprised primarily of soft shapes

Jack's hair is actually inspired by someone i used to know!

Misc. Notes:

i need to give more characters glasses

i forgot facial hair existed oops

i didn't set out on designing them with the intention of making the first pair both Black and the second pair both Asian, but I do think it adds something to how they operate as a pair. you gotta stick together, y'know?

in the initial sketching process i wasn't planning on drawing Sammy along with the Jacks but i realized very quickly i couldnt design them without their Sam there. they are a set! do not separate!!

this does mean that there's a scrapped Jack design sitting in that file...alone....Sammyless.... very sad. I gotta get that man a Sammy

[if-whats-new]

What's New In IF? Halloween edition! Issue 27 (2024)

By Brij, Dion, Bex and Jen

Now Available!

Itch.io - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people see it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

One Issue just wasn’t enough!

Halloween might be over, but not at WNIF! So here it is, u a second Halloween edition Issue! Next to the regular WNIF stuff we included a recommendation section full of the best games to play in this time of the year, so be sure to check it out.

We want some feedback!

As we’re starting to get a hand of things, we would love some feedback from you guys! What you enjoy, want more or less off, how we could improve... Anything goes! We even have a nifty form!

Still looking for members!

Due to the severe changes in the Zine team, we are once again looking for free hands with a couple of hours to kill, and minds, looking to make a little difference in the community!

If you too would like to help us out in a more official capacity, please shoot us a message! You can check out the available positions here, but if you’d like to help in any other way, feel free to contact us as well! (We added a new position, so check it out!)

No Small Talk for some time!

We hope you have have a fa-boo-lous time reading this issue!

BRIJ, DION, BEX AND JEN

~ BE A PART OF THE ZINE ~

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

Contact us through Tumblr asks, Forum DMs, or even by email! And thank you for your help!!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : BITSY JAM ~

Fuu, already #85?

Bitsy is a little engine for little games, worlds, and stories created by Adam Le Doux that makes game making look easier than ever! I mean really! You can use it to make a game in your browser just by drawing it! Thanks to the simple pixelated graphics and limited colour palette you can make basically anything from simple short stories to complicated masterpieces.

The first jam (with a yummy theme: Breakfast) took place on April 8th 2017. Now it’s a monthly occurrence, each time with a new challenging theme that the creators themselves (or even possibly you) get to vote on.

Petrichor, temporary, intentionally bad, tomatoes, no dialogue, long distances, secret place, bitsy fest jam, lost media and waiting are just the ten most recent ones. This month’s theme is game manual - the theme can be the core of the game, or just a small reference. Anything really. The main point of this jam is to have fun and make something! (Just make sure that your game is made in one of these: bitsy, mosi or bipsi.)

So why not give it a shot?

~ ENDED ~

The 6th Spooktober Annual Visual Novel Jam is over, the winners have been announced and you can check out the results!

The Revival Jam 2024 is also over and the results are out!

Strip IF to it’s bare bones and all it become beautiful text. That’s what The Bare-Bones Jam is about. You can now check out all 14 submissions!

Phantasia Jam is a three month-long game jam to create a fantasy narrative game, with the theme of “Hidden Magic”. There’s 17 submissions to check out.

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

The voting for ECTOCOMP 2024 has officially started! To vote and participate as a jury, you must do so by giving between 1 to 5 stars on each entry page of the jam. The voting period ends on November 30.

All entries for the Halloween Jam have been submitted and you can now vote for your favourites!

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Disabled Rep VN Jam has a very simple premise but a very important message.

Once upon a time, a game jam was held to create stories around the theme of fairy tales… and that game jam is the Once Upon A Time VN Jam. It’s running from October 1st to January 31st.

Concours de Fiction Interactive Francophone 2025 is for all French-speaking enthusiasts. Submissions are accepted until March 3rd 2025.

Are you perhaps a fan of more somber, melancholic themes? Then check out the Dying Year - Visual Novel Jam! You have until the end of the year to participate.

The Black Visual Novel Jam is all about working with creative professional developers who work in visual novels to bring more Black stories to life. The goal is to create a space where Black creators can show their unique storytelling through visual novels.

Bare your teeth and sharpen your claws because the Monstrous Desires 2024 Visual Novel Jam is here! Dedicated to the love of entities, horrors, and monstrosities, this jam will be full of romantic Visual Novels (VN) that heavily focus on a monster may it be original or from classics, folklore, modern media, etc.

The October Bitsy Jam is here! The theme is game manual and you have until November 11th to submit your projects.

~ OTHER ~

Jams are a great way to find new games! Don’t be afraid to check out submissions from previous years as well. There might be some gems hiding between them!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

Trick-or-Treat (Twine) is all about virtual trick-or-treating, grab your costume and have fun! @softest-punk

The Traded Groom (Unity) is a romance story where you marry a man you’ve never met. @maneki-mushi

Lydia’s Labyrinth (Ren’Py) is a choose your own adventure where you try to get to the end of the labyrinth. @doublefreegames

The end of an obsession is a fictional sequel work to It gets so lonely here.

The Virus Game HALLOWEEN is here.

In Ghostship Delgado (Amstrad CPC) you find yourself on the quarter deck of a mysterious, seemingly abandoned historic ship…

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

Camp Maple Wind (Ren’Py), you saw your sister die there 18 years ago and now you decided to return as the new camp counselor. @tailorfae

Dusk and Dawn (CScript) is a urban fantasy inspired by CYOA’s like Slayers V4. You’ve failed college, what do you do now? @tuskhansworld

Circus Eyes of God (Twine) is a horror interactive fiction where you decide to join a mysterious circus. @circuseyesofgod-if

In Tether (Twine) your an interpreter for a new lord under the occupation of another country. Will you rebel? @runcriedthecrawlingif

Return back to your hometown where you and your friends used to be team of detectives until the incident.... in Return to Misty Cove (CScript) @fluorescent-if

In Red River Academy (CScript) you and your group of friends are murdered in cold blood. But you were brought back, is this a second chance at life? @bratlinwrites

You step out for some fresh air, only to find yourself lost and stranded in the forest overnight in Fickle Solitude (Twine)

In Ice Cream For Love you are a bearfolk ice cream maker. However the newest dietitian-in-training has problems with your product. @atelierursine

In Demon Daycare (Ren’Py) you’ll have to baby the adult demon prince Belphegor. Hope the money is good!

~ UPDATES ~

Devil's Liminal (Ren’Py) released Chapter 2.

Crown of Exile (Twine) Vinia Path is released on Patreon. @ramonag-if

Tales of Wocdes: The Silver Protector (Twine) heritage features have been updated. @tales-of-wocdes

College Tennis: Origin Story (CScript) added halloween bonus to Ko-Fi. @collegetennisoriginstory

Sins of the Crown (CScript) added new content to their demo. @pariahinteractive

The King's Hound (Twine) released a rewritten demo. @the-kingshound

The Mighty Shifter (CScript) released Chapters 4 & 5. @miss-briar-novels

Lucid fate (Twine) released Chapters 3 & 4.5. @lucid-fate-if

Eldritch Tales: Inheritance (CScript) released the final part of Chapter 2.

Saturnine (CScript) added new content to their demo. @satur9-if

Shattered: Oblivion (CScript) reworked their prologue.

Strings of Fate (CScript) released partial Chapter 3.

Text Your Life (Ren’Py) added Chapter 2 Day 1 to their demo.

The Good People (Na Doine Maithe) (Ren’Py) released the first five chapters of Shae and Maeve's routes. @moiraimyths

Tri City Monsters (Ren’Py) released Chapter 3 for Akello. @tricitymonsters

Bridge Ices Before Road (CScript) added new content to their Prologue. @bridgeicesbeforeroadif

Aphni's Quartet: Nightbloom's Veil (Twine) released Chapter 2. @marblesstorystudio

The Brightest Stars (CScript) added the first part of Chapter 3 to their demo. @brightest-stars-if

Weeping Gods (CScript) added new content to their demo. @jcollinswrites

~ OTHER ~

The Kickstarter for Keyframes has started, and even though the main goal has been reached there are still some stretch goals! @blankhouse

The ChoiceBeat Zine Issue 12 is out. We thank them for mentioning our Zine! Go check it out!

Amare Fortnightly Bulletin Issue 27 is here for all your romance needs! @amaregames

Never Gives up Her Dead has released a deluxe version of their game.

The People's House has been officially submitted for publication.

~

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserves some highlighting?

An old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

H/T = Horror/Thriller H = Halloween themes S = Supernatural C = Creepy

~ RECOMMENDATIONS (COMPLETE) ~

Halloween Scrooge (H) by Vanade of Hamilton Hour (Ren’Py)

A short Halloween spin on A Christmas Carol... and you can flirt with the ghosts! //submitted by anon//

Killer Chat (H/T) by @rosesrotofficial (???)

After asking too many murder-related questions online (for your book), you get an invite to a... serial killer chatroom?! What the fuck?

A Zombie Head Went Missing at the Party Full of CUTE MONSTER GIRLS!? (S) by MaroonDrops (???)

Half gorgon Jade Mason finds herself dragged to a party full of monsters, she doesn't have high hopes.

Therapy with Dr. Albert Krueger (H/T) by dino999z (Ren'Py)

Has work been feeling more tiring than usual?

Your mood, confusing and uneasy?

Then it sounds like you need our newly patented ★DREAM THERAPY★!

A Series of Interactive Stories Where No Matter What You Do You Are Immediately Killed by a Werewolf (S) by Luke Burns (Twine)

The name just says it all.

AL - A Choose Your Own Adventure (H/T) by Gabriel Cornish (Twine)

You are a student going on their first date in a long, long time. Only problem is your apartment is trying to kill you with your own clutter!

Spooble: A Search Engine Story (H/T) by All the bees (Unity)

Are babies supposed to do that?

Cal's Costume Conundrum!! (H) by amarvelous (Ren’Py)

Which costume is the best? Cal needs to know! Infiltrate her siblings’ Halloween party, interview the guests, and crown a winner!

Restore, Reflect, Retry (H/T) by Natalia Theodoridou (CScript)

This is a haunted game about a haunted game. You've played this game before. You may not remember, but the game does.

Model Employee (H/T ) by Nth Circle (Unity)

If you want to get ahead in your career, you gotta be willing to take some risks.

Contrition (H/T) by akfedeau (Twine)

As a priest, it’s your job to listen to your parishioners’ darkest secrets and absolve their guilt. But when a sinister stranger comes to the confessional one Halloween night, you realize it’s your soul on the line.

Quoth the Raven… (C) by gamedevillibrarian (???)

Edgar Allen Poe's 'The Raven', with some spooky ambiance. What else do you need?

Hallowmoor (H) by Mike Snyder (Twine)

Your quest: infiltrate Castle Hallowmoor, find the potion, and make it out alive.

Keeper’s Curse (H/T) by CParadis777 (Godot)

Stranded on a remote island after your Lightkeeper duty has ended you must ration and scavenge for supplies while awaiting your delayed relief crew.

Dicentra (H/T) by caffeine (Ren’Py)

You play as Basil, a young boy lost in a forest of watchful trees and unfriendly guides.

Tales from Castle Balderstone by Ryan Veeder (Inform7)

This is Castle Balderstone, and tonight is the night when the greatest spook-crafters convene to share their hair-raising handiwork with each other.

Muertos by Medley Games (Twine)

You are a lost undead wandering the Aztec afterlife, only to come across a strange city.

Dawn of the Damned (H/T) by Melancholy Marionette (Unity)

Anxious to attend your job interview at Aurora Antiques, you arrive to discover a room full of melancholy mannequins. One, in particular, captures your interest, drawing you closer.

Seance (S) by Alex Rose (???)

A murder case has gone cold, and the NRPD has asked you to help them solve it, on account of your abilities as a psychic medium.

~ RECOMMENDATIONS (WIP) ~

Samsara (H/T + S) by Amelia (???)

After being killed by the same hands in every past life you decide to take your killer's life instead. //submitted by anon//

Parasitical (H/T) by @parasitical-if (CScript)

You grew up under the masked faces of their Exalted, under the stories of Earth past. Rusted metal and cracked plastic; His bone and His flesh. Conflicting worlds, conflicting times, and soon, it might all come to a head.

Seven days in Purgatory (H/T) by @sevendaysinpurgatory-if (CScript)

Seven days in Purgatory is a psychological thriller ripe with philosophical musings and sensuality.

Taste, hear, think, feel, love… Run. //recommended by Dion [team]//

Did we miss your favourite game? Don’t worry, there’s still a chance! Fill out this form and we will include it in our regular Highlight on.... section!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WHETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Thank you for keep updating! I really don't want to miss any IF updates but it's hard to find everything. So thank you for all the effort.

@waywardartisanoafhound-blog

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

our awesome anons! For sending us their game recommendations!

And a special thanks to Bex [team] for all the work she’s done for the zine.

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers who liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us!

Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It come with sad news that me (Bex) is having to leave the Zine….for now at least.

I joined back in August and honestly it was crazy time, especially with the sad passing of Marjorie. I honestly enjoyed what we’ve made of it and don’t regret it in the slightest. Life has sadly go in the way of me and I just don’t have the time to continue you this on. I’m hoping the New Year will bring peace and with it me back to the Zine.

Love you all ❣

And we will see you next week in our traditional colours!

BRIJ, DION, BEX, JEN

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 27

[foggyfanfic]

Did you guys hear Disneyland Cast Members voted to strike?

It was nearly unanimous too, 99% of the unionized cast members voted in favor of the strike. This doesn't necessarily mean they will strike, more that when the union rep shows up to the negotiation table on Monday they'll have that extra bit of leverage. Hopefully that'll be enough to win them living wages and such. I don't have anything intelligent to say, I just feel a kind of way about this subject, I'm going to put my opinions under the cut.

Ok, look, I love Disneyland. Love it with a passion. You know what reminded me this was happening and prompted me to look up the story? I was thinking of updating this card I made for one of the many games I've come up with to play in Disneyland because I have a weird variety of hyper-fixation when it comes to that park specifically.

So I am not speaking an ounce of hyperbole when I say Disneyland is my favorite place in the world.

But! Whoever the hell is making the big decisions around there needs to get their head out of their ass. I don't know if I should be blaming Bob Iger or Josh D'Amaro for the way the parks have been since the pandemic, but I'm going to blame both. I can deal with them experimenting with Genie Plus (I hate it but I'm used to capitalism), and I can sort of deal with the prices (I can't afford them easily but I'm saving up), but Disneyland has very clearly been trying to cut labor costs for a while now and it's incredibly baffling to watch. It feels like the parks are being run by somebody with a business degree from a sketchy "college" and zero experience with the real world.

They're cutting back on shows, overworking their existing staff, and skipping regular maintenance so they can operate the park with a smaller maintenance team. Overall it results in a worse experience for the customer, making it less likely that they'll convert new guests into returning fans like myself. While Disney World is a major tourist attraction that most people consider a once in a life time experience, Disneyland has always had a steady revenue from local Californians that return again and again. If you frequent forums about the parks you hear all about folks who live in SoCal that buy their annual pass (I know that's not what it's currently called, but that's what it is) and use it to get into the parks just to have dinner or rove around and maybe grab a churro. They might not be paying for Iger's next yacht, but those folks are providing a reliable revenue stream, and they go back again and again because for decades Disneyland has maintained a "magical" atmosphere.

And I feel like it's fairly obvious that the front line workers are the ones that make Disneyland what it is. Right? Like I'm not crazy, we all agree Disneyland would be nothing without the hard work of these cast members, right?

Why are they-? You need front line workers, why wouldn't you-? Do they not have years of research and experience backing up how beneficial a well paid staff is? I love the Incredicoaster but if all I wanted was thrill rides, Six Flags is an hour closer and a whole lot cheaper. I'm going for the complicated rides that require their own pit crew like Mickey's Runaway Railroad. Why are we even still having this conversation? I get that people like Bob Iger are a bit insulated from the rest of us, but the relationship between a happy staff and profit is well documented. Why wouldn't they just...? In the Disneyland subreddit a retired cast member post the Benefits Binder he got back when he worked for Disneyland and this thing was thick, it included health, retirement, and stock options. Somebody somewhere must have known that whittling down benefits while stagnating pay was not sustainable. Right?!

Like I said, I don't have anything intelligent to add to this conversation, but to be honest, I think everything intelligent to add has already been added. I'm just annoyed for my own sake and downright pissed for the sake of the cast members. I hope they get everything they ask for on Monday, and if they don't, I hope the strike knocks some sense into everybody it needs to.

[dantes-number-1-fanboy]

Band AU Ideas ~♡

I have never once stopped thinking about them.

(NOT spell checked)

The Romeaves are British (mostly bc I love Andy's accent and I want my garroth to have it)

Garrance is absolutely cannon and when they meet aph they fall so hard

Daaron save, save me Daaron

Travis does some higher note backup vocals

Also I'm axing my zanvis ship in the au (I just don't like that ship a ton, it's cute just not for me)

Nana is a famous steamer and is huge in the fandom

Kaitlyn is her roomie who's on-stream-shtick is that she hates the band (in reality she's a very closeted fangirl)

Aph ends up at a concert bc of Nana (also her roomie) and that's where garrancemau meet cutes

Dante and aaron have been together for a while

Travis is chronically single

I think the shadow knights have their own band too (maybe laur was in it for a lil while?)

Travis gets picked on in interviews the most (hes the silly one lol)

The tiktok edit community for this band goes hard (Laur and dante are the main victims)

The fandom has a bad rep for being annoying (valid bc they are) but the boys love em anyway

~~

I probably have more that I'll add later. Let me know if you want me to post the playlist I've started for these guys (bc the brain rot is very real) and I might.

Sorry for longish post just wanted to word vomit.

[flower-boi16]

sorry for the incoming rant.

(cw for: mainly arophobia but also mentions of acephobia and mentions of people shipping an abuser with their victim)

praying for the teens and pre teens who think hazbin is *the* show for queer rep or progressive in any matter. it scares me immensely. not only the blatant fetishism and sex negativity and whatnot, but the fact people are being taught that labels *don't mean anything* and that they can do whatever they want (with a character).

yeah, "i gave my characters labels but fuck those labels ship whatever you want" is SURELY a great sentiment to leave behind. surely nobody would erase or discriminate against labels and identity, right? surely people WOULDN'T repsect labels and identities, right?*COUGH* *COUGH*

seriously the amount of ace- but more aro-phobia in that cult/clusterfuck in that fandom is insane. i hate how the aro tag has been poisoned/infiltrated by red twink no. 45 because of shipping discourse, and these people are being enabled by their "leader", never being lectured correctly. these people will ONLY listen to anyone who either agrees with them or isn't part of said label/identity. im so pissed. aros have little to none rep AT ALL and even then people will erase existing rep or come up with shitty excuses (if i hear the phrase "b-but aros can still date!!" one more time im breaking something. you dont care about the AROMANTIC dating experience, you only care about your stickmen kissing. period.). its more than exhausting.

i am not the only aro and aro-ace severly pissed off by this but im afraid there's nothing we can do. these people ship a severly traumatized victim and their assaulter together so im not suprised. at all.

all i came to know is that nobody actually fucking cares about representation or labels- they're all hopping around in fanfiction-shipping wonderland and bullying people relentlessly if they DARE to think otherwise. and they're being enabled.

-an exhausted and "done" aromantic. (i'm also on the ace spectrum but that's not as important to me right now- even though striker- the only one that's not horny 24/7 and clearly sex-repulsed or at least disgusted, is played as a big joke, but i believe someone else already said that. but that alone should raise eyebrows.)

Honestly, I don't even know what to add other than...this fandom kinda sucks. Like first bullying someone into killing themselves over shipping stuff and now this? And the fact that Viv doesn't call out ANY of this shit at all makes it worse.

Look, I'm of the opinion that we should not blame a creator for having a shitty fandom, HOWEVER, Viv needs to stop enabling her fans and say SOMETHING about this behavior.....but she isn't. Like, she could just say "hey guys stop doing this pls" buuuuut no. She's too busy whining about people criticizing her shows to actually do that.

Alastor is aroace guys, stop trying to erase that part of him just so you can drool over him. Just do that for LITTERALY ANY OTHER CHARACTER. It's that simple.

[stardustto-dust]

Why you should vote Abed Nadir in the 2023 autism swag summit

I've seen people do this for other polls and it is vital that Abed Nadir from the 2009-2015 NBC comedy Community wins this one.

Vote him round one here.

Does he fit the first part of the statement? Yes, Abed is canonically autistic.

When he realised autistic fans related to him, creator Dan Harmon did as much research as he possibly could into autism as to not let those fans down.

While doing said research, Harmon realised himself was likely on the spectrum. Meaning that Abed is a canon autistic character created by an autistic person. How often does that happen?

Due to the above facts, he is a very well researched and developed autistic character, with both traits more commonly shown in the media, such as blunted affect and difficulties reading faces and less commonly shown traits, such as hyperempathy and sensory issues.

From the time Abed first appeared on screen to the present day, there have been many blog posts, magazine articles and even scholarly articles written about how good rep he is. I have seen him on many a neurodiversity advocacy Instagram account. (If you want me to link some I will!)

OK, we have established the autism. What about the swag? Well, first of all, as Donald Glover summarised it "Abed fucks". There is a whole episode dedicated to his friends trying to get him a girlfriend and worrying about his self-esteem and in the end it turns out he gets plenty of girls and, as he says, he has "self-esteem falling out (his) butthole." He also gets guys hitting on him. And how can we mention Abed without his boyfriend soulmate best friend Troy. who canonically wants to have his "gentle and mysterious" "other half"'s children. In short, bisexual king.

Of course, swag is not limited to just sexual and romantic prowess, as the amount of aroace people I know with limitless swag testifies to. Swag can also be measured by commitment to the bit, for example. And, boy, is Abed known for his commitment to the bit.

Abed is Batman, Han Solo and Jesus. He is a mafia boss. He is a cartoon man discovering the meaning of Christmas. He is the narrator and the cameraman. Like, not metaphorically or in archetype. He realises a need for these characters in the story and becomes them.

[GIF- Abed as Batman, applying lip balm, possessing undeniable amounts of swag]

9. "How does he realise the need for the these things in the story?" you may ask. Well, his special interest is film and TV. He is a filmmaker. Thus, he frames his life in terms of genre, often seeming aware of the fact he is in a sitcom. However, this often changes, and, the show branches off into completely different genres, which Abed points out. These shifts in genre explore character dynamics and also are super awesome. Abed is so genre-aware, he changes the entire genre of the show. That is swag.

10. The Community fandom here on Tumblr.com, and throughout the web, is quite small. It will make us very happy. Plus, for the first time in 8 years, there likely will be new Abed content this year, due to the release of the movie. (Due to one of Abed's many catchphrases "Six seasons and a movie!")

11. Please please please please I love him so much and i am very cool you should listen to me please please please.

So yeah, that's it! If you have anything to add, please do!

Click below for some Abed gifs.

[GIF- "Evil Abed" (Abed with a goatee and sunglasses) walking through his college being evil. He hangs up someone's payphone call, pops a girls balloon with his cigarette and then dumps said cigarette into a woman's coffee]

[GIF- Two gifs. One is of Troy, topless, leaning out of an airvent. He looks down and says "I love you". Next is of Abed, looking up at him. He says "I know", before being grabbed by a zombie in a kilt]

[GIF- Abed, wearing sunglasses, saying "movie reference". Jeff is there too and also wearing sunglasses]

[GIF- Abed saying "Cool. Cool cool cool"]

Ok there are so many more GIFs I want to put but I kinda have work soon lol. You get the gist, he is amazing. Vote Abed!

[dungeonmeshi-confessions]

I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

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