#like i know what taxes are but what Are they. its not like you get a letter or smthn going 'you pay taxes now! heres how!'
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day 1246
#amphibian#salamander#axolotl#how i felt submitting my taxes a solid almost month before the final deadline today#the average citizen here just gets a paper with what info the government has on your income and how much taxes you paid#and all you have to do is sign it to say you think all is correct#now I had to actully manually do stuff because im self employed but it wasnt too scary#<- lying i had a big panic about it but i asked my mom for help and read a bunch of info on the taxes website and its fine now :)#and next time it wont be scary because i actually know what to do#i hear every american has to do their taxes like manually regardless of employment type? thats wack im so sorry for you guys#if thats true#if so heres your reminder to do them taxes if youre still reading the tags
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Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.
I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.
I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.
So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?
#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks#i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me#but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world#tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of#but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets#this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me#i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items#i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em#its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there#the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students#mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression#in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me#no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings#if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask#but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself#and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding.#words#mr octopus#mental health#doodles
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don’t let me reread because i saw this
and an image of reynevan pleading innocent like the crying cat meme flashed across my mind
#szarlej: if the sorcerer does not fit you must acquit!!#you know we were robbed of a scene where szarlej pretends to be reynevan’s lawyer? that should have happened at least once#what is with bandits robbing tax collectors in sapkowski’s novels??#you know of all the get rich quick schemes out there robbing a tax collector has REALLY dropped off in terms of popularity#i guess this is what happens when you study foreign trade - economics and then have an interest in medieval history#im still like omg. raubritters were a thing you didnt just make that up? that’s fucked up. but cool that it wasn’t made up. but fucked up#and it’s literally raub + ritter. obvious german should be obvious#the first is a cognate and the second i know from rittersporne which guess how i know that 🙄#anyways…#you know… if angoulême still had friends around there’s a less than zero chance they would have tried to jump regis#he would hear it coming from a mile away (… maybe literally) and just disappear around a street corner#or… hide under a rock… like canonically. honestly still not sure why he did that.#ITS THE FULL MOON. YOU CAN FLY#regis answer = ‘idk… i got scared 😥😥…’#honestly interesting conundrum because too many ideas i have seen are like ‘someone tries to fuck with a vampire they get ripped to shreds’#which ok wish fulfillment i get it but#consider that 1. regis is nonviolent and would likely put someone to sleep over kill them#2. they are teenage hooligans 3. he understands teenager hooliganism#honestly he would pacify them and then while their eyes are empty he would just be like giving some solid life advice#bandits: standing with head drooped. probably drooling on themselves | regis: sounding like a turn your life around podcast#the elbow-high diaries#not even interesting post sorry just totally ramble nonsense here
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#{ shitposting }#{ Its for the immersion Void }#{ look...I know but like...there isn't an actual ingame economy outside of imaginary gil and marketboards }#{ does the gil taxed from some stuff help pay for servers or something? Is FFXIV Gil just the original n/f/t? }#{ I'd like to just pay what it says on bin? }#{ So you agree the gil has value and must be taxed }#{ Well gil has value like levels have value I need it to repair my gear and the levels get me to other expansions but like outside of that#{ I just don't know what we're being taxed for stuff...is it helping pay their rent in some weird way? }
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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goooooodmorning ! ok real talk it is so Deeply frustrating how little anything really prepares you for becoming an adult. like its this huge deal and then its just like . well. i sure am older now. but now you have to instantly know what taxes are and how to start paying them, how to get a house, how to drive, how to take care of a car, how to take care of a house, groceries, money, insurance, healthcare, job, resume, money again,
like.... is it just me or is literally None of this explained. ever. and yet you must. god forbid your guardian(s) suck too, then youre extra fucked. its all like "get a job youre an adult now ^w^" and then they just sit you down and say Go For It! ok cool. how do i do that. what am i looking for. is this one taking advantage of me or am i expecting too much.
or "start looking for a house or roommates or something, youre an adult you can live on your own now ^w^" and then they sit you down and say Go For It! ok cool. how do i do that. how much is too much. how much money should i save up to survive. groceries? transportation? what if i go somewhere else far away. what places are Good Places? do those even exist? where Shouldnt i go? i still dont know what taxes are.
like damn its been like years of adulthood and i never left being a highschooler really. can someone just tell us what were supposed to do. goddamn
#sorry im still frustrated abt this stupid fuckig. paypall thing.#like 'put in your tax number!! ^w^' whats a tax number. ive never paid taxes before. how do i know i have one. do i have one?#will this fuck me over later? will i have to pay taxes? what if i cant afford to pay them? am i gonna get arrested? what are taxes?#like i know what taxes are but what Are they. its not like you get a letter or smthn going 'you pay taxes now! heres how!'#like... im not going crazy right? this is kinda fucked up right?? is this thing on????? hello????????#anyway the walls are closing in constantly and i just have to sit here and take it. godbles ✌#piktalk
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i have the interests of a 31 year old women its so over
#LETS ME EXPLAIN!!! i played ff.vii when i was under 10. perhaps i watched a cousin play it.#i got into ps1 games bc of it. i like f.f r.e and s.h. i get a little older maybe early teens now i like japanese media like anime and musi#maybe i dabbled in a little k.pop idk. i discover j.rock. whos this g.ackt guy? miyavi? d.ir en grey? hey wait this g.ackt guy is in ff.vii#im very alternative. perhaps i have an older sister to help me get into the scene more. i like mcr lp and some v.kei bands. i go to concert#i get back into ff w games like x.iii and wonder when versus will come out.#i get more into kpop in early 20s and learn abt this dating sim game called mysmes. i start playing#ans suprise! versus is out! but its now xv! im a little upset it took so long to come out but i still like it#i play it in 2016. play it in my mid 20s. love it. i hear abt all these remakes of games from my childhood#ff.7. re.2. re.4. sh.2. my god! but i am a tax paying adult its hard to keep up with playing these all when im trying to get a morage#i think 'ill play them on my off days. yes i work a fulltime job but i still enjoy things!' while i display my albums and posters from 2000#i subsequently give all these interests to the people around me. like my younger sister.#and do you wanna know who that younger sister is? do you?#I GOT CALLED OLD PERSON CODED BECAUSE I ASKED MY FRIENDS IF THEY KNEW WHAT LIVEJOURNAL WAS MY LIFE IS RUINEDDDDD WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO MEE#THE ONLY THING THAT DIFERENCIANTS ME IS THE GACHA GAMES I PLAYYYY MY SISTER LITERALLY TOLD ME 'wow everything u like is from the 2000s haha#RIGHT TO MY FACE SHE HAS NO IDEA WHATS SHES DONE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#my posts
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.
#in the tags.#palestine#israel#gaza#god it is so bleak#netanyahu says he's going to invade rafah whether or not there is a deal to release hostages#what the fuck! to not pretend. to not pay the slightest lip service even to the idea that this is for a reason. and to do it with impunity#and the unanimous vote of the war cabinet#abandoning any possible pretense that any of this is about hostages. i mean really that pretense was gone long ago in practice#like how israel has killed more of its own hostages (3) than it has recovered (1)#like how it's dragged on the slaughter instead of negotiating#what could possibly be a horrific enough event to get the US to stop giving israel bombs.#what could speak louder than 'we will bomb the humanitarian zone even if they send hostages'#what could be more clear than explicitly stating that you will not stop bombing for any reason#i don't know. i guess I'll fuckjng. email my representatives who have all dug in their heels to feel like I did Something i guess.#and by a survey this is not at all the most important issue to the average american not by far#my side of tumblr isn't representative at all#the average person cares about inflation immigration and taxes#what can you do. what lever can any person pull against a man who will kill everything in his path#and a president and congress who won't stop giving him money and bombs
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i think my constant seething rage is honestly very reasonable. i literally live in florida.
#got in argument with a guy the other day abt idk. trans athletes#was basically him trying to explain what the issue is to me (i know. that's kinda step one to having an opinion on it.)#and then going yeah huh i guess you're actually right (i was)#and i was like okay great cool we're done here let me go to class and he starts talking about like#how he still loves trump for this and that reason kinda unprompted (sorry you lost an argument dude go introspect somewhere else im LATE)#and i was like yeah idk abt that. on account of all the corruption. and the foreign policy youre saying is like manly macho man strong is#mostly just wildly stupid posturing that's going to achieve nothing at best and world war at worst#and he goes no don't worry i think DESANTIS would be better for 2024 actually#and i. UNDERSTANDBLY. was like oh okay i cannot speak to you (because i am visibly shaking with rage)#and he goes well i think you are misattributing my intentions (cunt.)#and i said no no i don't think you're malicious i just think you're stupid and wildly misinformed#and then left bc i was about to either hit him or start crying (bc that guy has been like very tangibly ruining my life for months#and i genuinely cannot fathom what fucking tax issue or whatever one would value over like. my right to idk. Exist atp.#and also this coming from someone who just tried to be like no i know so many trans people i love trans ppl im not like those conservatives#like try to dig deep down into whatever rotted husk of a brain is left in your skull and fathom why i might have a strong reaction to your#support for DESANTIS and the SPACE LASERS WOMAN#you fucking idiot.)#and was that civil. No. and now i have to apologize to him bc i feel bad about it even though i fully meant it#idk its what i get for trying to change peoples minds with stupid things like#' statistics ' and ' a utilitarian perspective ' and ' existing legal basis for my argument '#guys so wrapped up in their right wing bubble they just dont wanna hear it#n they always assume i mustve not heard their talking points and its like look at where we fucking live#and look at the state of the world. NOBODY in any form of mainstream news shares my politics lmao#you think i havent heard every conceivable argument abt trans people??? also you think im dumb enough to form an opinion without looking at#the other side? yeah man i know about the three trans women who have ever won a sports competition ever. do you?#do you even know their fucking names or sports or trial outcomes.#GOD just fucking. pseudo intellectual facist horseshit like pragru and infowars masquerading as legítimate sources#are making so many dumbass illiterate (i truly don't think they have the reading comprehension to decifer a study or even long article)#guys think they're gods gift to politics bc they listened to someone else tell them what a source says through ten layers of propaganda#just. uh. everyone should die forever and also learn to read.
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every day i thank god for the like. one or two japanese minedai artists who make mine the embodiment of 🥺 while also still making him. mine.
#snap chats#LIKE I LOVE A LOT OF MINEDAI ARTISTS DONT GET IT TWISTED at this point im very lenient because. im hungry#also a lot of the art genuinely is super perfect and amazing and Thank You God its just that theres a particular itch i get sometimes yk#its my favorite flavor..... and damn no body ever does it 😭😭#'what does it mean to be mine snap' it means he's mine. and he goes 🥺when daigos around. which is very mine but#you know what i mean. like he still does taxes and scares everyone but then daigo show up and he like :)#i never see mine dokidoki.... 'snap what the fuck does that mean' IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW i dont have to explain myself....#i must see mine be swooned more... my life depends on it..#dis a shout out to all the people who make mine dokidoki actually.... like that anon who sent the fic.... youre my hero...#like may i be so bold.... may i be so forthcoming... daigo has mine whipped yet i always see mine as the instigator...#or more forward. if i may put it safe for the eyes of babies.#im pickyyyy i knowww its why im saying my praises now 😔#in the worst twist of irony i wanna draw but not them. not rn anyway.#BLEH lemme write a bit and we'll see what happen anyway thats my minedai ramble for the month#oh god wait didnt i already do one of those. oh no the demons are gonna have my head for going over the quota
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with every new collector monster high release i become more and more convinced that theyre just deciding the prices at random because what the fuck makes fang vote rochelle worth 90 dollars when they just sold that chucky and tiffany two pack for 90 dollars and none of these dolls look like they should cost 90 dollars anyway
#also what makes every other doll worth like 70+ dollars when they just sold that ghoulia doll for 50#you had to pay for that membership to get her i think so its actually 60. but Still.#tbh. while i personally wouldnt spend 90 dollars on a two pack of dolls#if the dolls are actually really nice i can see why it would be worth it to some people#but the chucky and tiffany two pack doesnt look like it should cost 90 dollars???? at all???#maybe it has a really cool detailed box or comes with a bunch of accessories or something but the dolls themselves#dont look like they should cost that much. feels like theyre just overcharging because a popular movies name is attached to it#and this is not hate to the dolls themselves i dont really know anything about the characters theyre based on but i think they look fine#i just dont think they should cost 90 dollars (actually its probably closer to 100 when you consider shipping and tax. but whatever)#again it feels like theyre pricing things at random#and making things as expensive as possible because they know a lot of g1 only collectors are desperate and will buy anything#so they can get away with it#this all comes from somebody who never buys the collector monster high stuff because most of it doesnt interest me#i only ever buy playline stuff because im satisfied with that + they feel more worth it for the prices theyre asking for#but still. i am allowed to have opinions
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god i fucking hope this rover thing pays off.
#vent post#negative#i need money so bad its killing me#i have taken out a couple hundred from my savings. because i never know if i have enough money for something (i dont. ever.)#so. goodbye to my moving out funds. if rover doesnt pay off im. so. fucked.#would be easier if i could just get a fucking job wouldnt it!!! but its been like 2 years and still i have not had anyone just#walk me through the process of how that works#they just tell me 'you just apply online' and dont explain what that means and dont show me how to do it#they dont tell me how to do an interview they just assume i know how this works and i dont and i keep trying to make that clear and no one#fucking helps me#i only last week learned youre supposed to ask the interviewer questions and that you can do interviews at like. coffee shops#i have 0 fucking job experience and it is Killing Me!!!!!!!!!#i hate money!!!! i hate trying to get money in this world that wasnt built for me!!!!!! my fucking anxiety and my autism hates this!!!!!!!#not to mention im still terrified of leaving the house which is only fixed by leaving the house but i have no reason to leave the house#so i dont and i stay scared and i dont think about jobs i cant do at home and thats even worse for reasons i cant explain#i still dont know how taxes work and when thats going to be a thing i have to get a crash course on#and while im fucking trying and failing over and over to just take the first steps i have to spend money to live#money i dont fucking have#money i. do have. but thats money ive been saving since i was a kid so i could have a good start for moving out#and ive transferred 1000 of it to my card in the last few months alone.#if i dont get some solid cash from rover im just. stuck again. stuck in this stupid loop ive been in for years#i started trying to move out at the end of 2020.#ive made no progress.#.....i guess ive made a little progress. i can drive now. thats. pretty important.#and i did download rover#and other than one dumbass thing my accounts pretty much ready to go#and itll get me out of the house more and I'll get used to that more and maybe just stepping outside wont be a nightmare anymore#uhg. lays face down on the floor.
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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I don’t think any of my friends would even notice if I just isolated myself lmao
#so I’m gonna do it!!!!#I don’t feel like any of them care anyway#I only have three friends btw no surprise there#honestly it’s a miracle I have any but yknow#it doesn’t matter all but one just continually forget about me even on days they Know are hard for me#and I’m not exaggerating because one sorta checked on me and then I was semi comforting him instead and the other tweeted about hoping I’m#okay but did nothing to actually check on me or anything I’m just a passing thought its like I’m not even there#like a tweet on your priv about me is nothing compared to actually messaging me and checking on me#whatever I’m just a dead flower anyway since I never text first and then I see things where they complain about people that don’t text first#and I get even more self conscious and upset at myself but I can’t do anything about it because when I try lately things go wrong so why try#stop watering a dead plant they say lmao#not like I have trauma that stops me or anything#not like when I had decided I needed help or just someone to talk to it took me hours to finally text#not like I texted first to try and resolve an argument twice lately and you were just even more angry#idk what you want me to do#I just know what I can and can’t do#I haven’t been enough for you this whole year and I know if you leave that he’ll leave too that’s how y’all work#I honestly wanna deactivate my twt but that’ll just piss him off#I just need to live silently until I get the tax money#oh lol just remembered one time when I texted first to try and fix things he tweeted about how he wished he had just killed himself the#night before so he wouldn’t have to have that conversation just then!!!!!!#but no I’m just an awful person because I don’t text first
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so like whats the point of having a care team if *I'm* the one who has to manage 100% of my documents and communication between facilities?
#im once a-fucking-gain complaining about top surgery#did you know ive been trying to get a error-less referral since march? ITS BEEN SO MUCH FUN LET ME TELL YOU.#its absolutely fucking baffling how some folks can just Ask for surgery and every single step is taken care of FOR THEM in like. three week#meanwhile. im chasing down my referrals and catching errors and calling and double checking and finding MORE errors and shit gets sent--#to the wrong place or places that dont even DO the fucking surgery#making more phone calls and finally getting referred to somewhere who CAN do it--only to discover my insurance wont send shit over#i have to beat everyone with sticks to get information out of them on what to do next because APPARENTLY--#I'M the one who has to organize the whole operation. IM the one who has to send documents. IM the one who has to confirm auth numbers.#why???? im not a doctor!!!!!! i shouldnt have to take care of all the procedural paperwork!!!!!! thats not my job!!!!!!!#im so fucking tired. im so goddamn exhausted. this has been so hard. so nonsensically difficult and taxing
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Headcannon for a what-if-father-khatri-didnt-die-au: he likes to paint
Another headcannon for a what-if-father-khatri-didnt-die-au: he's terrible at flirting
Another, even better Headcannon for a what-if-father-khatri-didnt-die-au: he paints a portrait of jade to try and flirt
-🐾
OMG I LOVE THIS ASK yes your headcanons are so so good and correct. can you imagine HOW annoying jade would get if he found out that khatri is attracted to him? "forgive me father for i have sinned 😏😏" just to tease him and the like. but he'd be so impressed and touched if he found out khatri had been painting him like wait... from memory...??? whatthehellhow... he'd probably laugh in disbelief and khatri would think that he's making fun of him but then he'd offer to model for him. but end it with "i'm not taking off my shirt though" just to see him fluster at the thought
while he paints him they'd talk about random stuff like whatever khatri knows of the town, the bible, and their own lives because they're both GREAT listeners. jade is a pretty open person but even then he'd probably end up shocked that he shared that much that fast. if khatri dies after they've already got something going on you'll probably see jade at the church whenever he needs to sort his thoughts :)
#im gonna be thinking about this forever noww#i have like soo many thoughts about them#like khatri being very against jade drinking so much and trying to get him to stop#or jade actually being super vulnerable about guys wanting him but not wanting a RELATIONSHIP with him#but sucking it up because he knows hes flopped every relationship hes had anyway#so hes like okay im eye candy im palatable in small doses i get it i get it#and khatri meanwhile is like falling super deeply in love with him the more he gets to know him but his sexuality is probably repressed#under like twenty layers of shame and guilt#jades like look if youre wondering what its like to kiss a guy—#and khatri is like no im wondering what itd be like to take care of you when youre sick and to decorate a living room and do taxes with you#ok ill stop now#i just love this ship#thanks for the askkk
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