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pouralaura · 3 months ago

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This is like THE question of the ages but here goes. Is your Raphael capable of love? It is my understanding that devils are capable of an obsessive, manipulative, perverted version of it; but the Raphael in your fics has a particular human fallibility that is endearing, and a willingness to entertain those follies (for the sake of his favorite mouse) that I’m wondering if it’s possible that he would (accidentally) fall in love in a mortal sense, going against his fiendish nature (it would have to be a very special mouse). I’d love to hear your take on his fiend/human dichotomy. 🫶

what a fabulous question. thank you for asking! I've thought a lot about this and I always come to the same conclusion: yes, my Raphael is in fact capable of love. there is a "however" which I will get to shortly.

let me first say that I really simply do not care about canon. bro lives in my head rent-free as his own entity and does not necessarily fit DnD/BG lore in that space. that's just a disclaimer, take it as you will.

Raphael's love with my Tav (both generic and my Eris specifically) is definitely just magnetic obsession at first until they realize how hard they match each other's freak. he power plays and power plays and power plays, letting his mouse in ON HIS TERMS ALONE until it's too late and she's as much a part of him as he is of her. fwiw, Tav/Eris's love is the same as his - but his makes him more human and hers makes her less, all for better or for worse. and I think his capacity for love has so much to do with the other person in the equation, which is extremely human of him - Tav pushes him back and needles him but also worships him in her own way, taking on some of his traits the more time she spends with him. some of that is unconscious and some is fully intentional. it's all a part of the Game, which, for her, is Understanding (literally figuring out what makes him tick), while for him it's Winning (taking what he knows of her and using/manipulating it however he wants). Raphael is a narcissist and naturally loves himself most of all, but once he sees himself reflected in another person I think that unlocks a new layer of longing and deep connection within him.

I've used the lyric I won't speak of love since the beginning of writing about the two of them and it's always gonna fit. Tav/Eris knows what the feeling is on both sides, because she is 100% human and overly perceptive, intuitive, and insightful. but she is smart enough not to push that understanding onto Raphael because attempting to force him to admit what he perceives as a weakness would destroy their dynamic.

which brings me to my main point: again, yes, he is capable of love. he is even capable of unconditional love.

BUT

he will not accept that about himself, even for a moment. his love is obsessive and manipulative and perverted OF COURSE but it's also his purest emotion, which is an embarrassment. he will ignore the truth of what it is fully out of pride. if Eris pushed him to acknowledge it he would drop her in an instant and shed all remaining traces of his humanity. it's simultaneously the strongest connection he has with anyone and the thinnest tightrope of a line they could possibly walk - but they complement each other so well that they've somehow found that perfect unacknowledged balance. Eris is prideful too but understands that to maintain the status quo she MUST swallow some of her pride and allow Raphael to keep up appearances for his own sake - which is one of her major ways of showing love from her side.

he loves her purely and earnestly and deeply but he will ALWAYS love himself and his image more. some might say that means he is not capable of real love but I think the two can coexist! people are complicated!

this is fun to think about and I really hope it makes any kind of coherent sense all written out.

#thank you for the ask!#marimosalad #i've literally been thinking about this for like two days straight so I hope it's even remotely understandable lmao

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dumblucksers · 6 months ago

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II 15 SPOILERS

here is my taco recap + analysis that I wrote after someone mischaracterized her in front of me:

just a disclaimer I have no idea what I'm talking about half of the time so sorry if some bits don't rlly make sense :P

ok so starting with her in season 1, literally all we see her as is this insane little cray say thing who has an iq of 7, apparently speaks French, spits lemons, screams randomly and says things that make no sense LMAO

she gets close to pickle and they stick together for basically the entire season

obviously we know now that her motivation this time was to become the fan favorite and get to the end so she can win the million (for reasons we don't know honestly, maybe find out in 16)

there are also moments in s1 where she'll slip up the act (but they play off as comedic effect) example when she calculated her fall in ep 12 or in 11 where she revealed her arms and was speaking full sentences to pickle for a second and a half

but anyway right at the end when she loses is where she reveals her true self and tried to steal the million after losing (and also severing her relationship with pickle)

one thing to point out before moving on is that taco is an analyzer, her act of being dumb gave her time to observe all of the contestants and pick the right allies and whatevs

n e way moving on to s2

taco has been stalking the entirety of s2 up until she reveals herself in 9, where she still wants the million (or rather half of it, and for reasons we still don't know) and she takes interest in the grand slams team, particularly microphone, who ironically doesn't exactly have a strong voice in the game and is, in tacos eyes, an easy target. So she reveals herself to mic and offers to help her advance in the game in exchange for 50/50 of the million

at this point taco only rlly sees mic as a pawn, and easily controlled. mic is unsure as all she's hearing is how useless and sad she is from a tiny British taco KSJSJSK

however mic is lowkey desperate herself bc she feels as though she isn't pulling her weight on her team, doesn't have much of a voice in the competition, she just lost soap aswell. so she accepts tacos help in the maze challenge using her gain setting.

now in 11 we see more of tacos strategies play out, as she further analyzes the grand slams, as it's categorized as: the alliance (baseball, nickel, suitcase) the friendship (suitcase and balloon) and the other ppl (knife and mic). Taco is more focused on the alliance and their relation to balloon, and she urges mic to get more involved in the pushing away of balloon to get him eliminated (and to further progress mic in the game) but rather than using the approach of attempting to make allies with baseball and nickel, we learn of tacos more violent tendencies. she wants to use a temporary paralyzer (courtesy of test tubes lab) to decapitate balloon. this is where mic draws the line, and also the episode where she proves herself to taco by instead of using violence, she substitutes subtle verbal and emotional manipulation instead. Taco is greatly impressed by this, and it's at this point where taco realizes that mic may not be as helpless as she originally thought.

now taco and mic are starting to reach equal ground, as in 12 they are more casual with each other and just chilling. it's also where the TIME TRAVEL STUFFF HAPPENS WHWOAOOAOAOAOOWOWOWOWOWOW

basically when they're down in test tubes lab and lightbulb activates the Time Machine portal thing, mic sees taco reach towards the portal, before it closes. this is (I think) the first time mic and the audience has seen taco look built a k o my god how tf do you spell vulnerable. ok there we go anyway this is the first time we see taco look vulnerable, and *possibly* regret towards her past actions. she reaches while saying "another chance, perhaps." and while at the time it could have been taken as another chance at stealing the million, ii 15 adds more context that she wants another chance with her relationships in the past, particularly with pickle, and she clearly regrets what she did.

now after this point mic is now a bit sus of what just happened, seeing taco reach for the portal. we also get to see another silly side of taco (not the cray say silly, just normal silly) as she tries to distract mic from the portal And from the fact that test tube and lightbulb are now in the time stuff.

oh yeah also at the end the episode knife finds out about mic and taco oh nooooo well go into that in a second

in 13 yknow they're trying to get knife to join them cuz now he knows and yeah yeah whatever. also taco and mic are getting closer as equals and as friends too so yeah

mic also brings up the portal and taco ignores, as per usual.

now let's get to the interesting stuff. Taco and mic are following knife around in the minecarts, and taco says smth like "is this you holding a grudge over my true self? For why? Everyone knows who I am now!" And mic says "doooo we thooooo????" this is like. 99% attached to the whole portal thing, bc mic saw that vulnerability and now she knows there's a teeeeeny bit more to the evil lil British Mexican food than what meets the eye

also there's another instance of taco and mics violence is bad bit, where knife is about to fall off, and while taco is like YIPPEEEE mic is like erm. No. And then saves knife

now here's where it gets even MORE interesting, where knife calls out tacos first alliance with pickle. Taco obviously gets mad at this, but mic doesn't rlly have a huge reaction except to tell knife that "she's(tacos) changing", which shows that she prolly put two and two together about the portal thing (prolly isss bc she stops pestering about it at this point)

now at this moment in 14 it's clear that taco and mic are partners in crime (well crime might be stretching it. Or not considering what happens), taco goes to shut down mepad so she and mic can teleport freely (and, to the prime shimmer spaceship) where the last violence is bad instance comes up. mic says PROMISE NO VIOLENCE and taco teeechnically doesn't promise, but yaknoww

now cut to when taco uses violence, she kills test tube and paralyzes fan to mics horror. she won immunity but at the expense of others , and that wasn't smth she was comfortable with, and that was her breaking point. she drops taco AND the entire show and eliminates herself

this is also tacos breaking point, in a way. where she realizes how much the game has shaped her into doing heinous acts, and for what, a chance at a cash prize? And now that she's completely out of luck for that prize, her work was for nothing. and it was at the expense of her two closest friends.

she pinpoints where she screwed up, and it was at the finale of season 1, where she broke her ties completely with her best friend just for a chance to steal the prize money. It was the game that fucked up her mentality, that every horrible thing that is done is for the greater good, and to use the rules of the game and the people you meet to advance for a extremely low chance of winning it all. Realizing all of this, taco doesn't want a repeat of this cycle, since the competition is so close to completion. She requests the challenge information from Mepad, and uses him as an incentive to Mephone.

But before we go there time to talk about her BANGER MUSICAL NUMBER YESSSS MY LIL THEATRE KID

anyway in the song id like to point out the banger lines "and we choose, to feel this pain, and we lose, more than we gain" which is basically everything I mentioned before about using the rules of the game and pushing away friends and whatever, and then eventually losing more than you get

next part "if I can't win the prize, I'll play my last reprisal, just to bring their lies all to an end" and then mepad is all like welll you gotta regenerate and tacos like, yeah that's prolly not gonna happen. And mepad points out how she believes she can't start on a clean slate. taco is like bro. with my track record? dawg there's no slate to begin with LMAO

but seriously with everything tacos done she believes it's too late to restart and that everything she did is irreparable (which ngl, kinda true maybe? but also not cuz she hasn't even apologized just yet) and mepad tries to convince her that yes you can change!!! youuu can make a difference...you can make it right... but taco doesn't rlllly listen

ok long story short she takes over the next part of the challenge which is truth or flare, where platforms rise if the contestants tell the truth and falls if they lie, and their fire has to reach the top and burn their rope. Taco, using her extended stalker knowledge of s2, quizzes the contestants on their interpersonal relationships and ngl as Mephone put it it's just a twisted group therapy session lmao

fast forward to nearing the end and the last question taco asks is to suitcase about what she thought she saw when she was being a floating bow tie. suitcase brings up her hallucinations, to which everyone, including taco, is horrified by. Taco sees how the game has affected suitcase, by making her so anxious that she literally HALLUCINATES, and that is yet another breaking point for her. She urges the remaining 4 to leave the competition before they go in too deep. She admits to her not caring about the cash prize anymore, as she "saw the desire took her to extremes" (the violence thing between her and mic) and how the game changes people based on how deep they get into it. She calls out Mephone for getting too deep aswell, as she brings up his challenges that clean up his messes, using tactics such as surprise double eliminations to add drama that mentally fucks with everyone involved in it. Her lil spiel is interrupted by a bush shake, since lightbulbs lil pen she's been clicking actually calls out a signal, and that anyone nearby could answer the call. Taco starts cracking out of fear? nervousness? Pressure idk anxiety any of those, because as knife points out, anyone could meannnn pickleeeee orrrr miccccc oh nooooo. knife says that she has to face her truths too, And then taco cracks completely and dies. annnnd everyone is horrified and sad, except for Mephone obviously, who is now threatened by taco since everything she said was true ngl jdhdjs

but also goes to show how mentally fucked taco is aswell, which while yes it is her fault that her relationships ended the way they did, the common denominator AND motivator is and was always the game.

anyway mepad and the other contestants force Mephone into reviving taco, and mepad formally resigns from the show convinced by tacos speech about leaving the game before it fucks them up. Mepad teleports away and stays with taco, urging her to stop hiding away from her truths and face pickle and mic, if for the last time. Aaand taco agrees

OK THATS IT WOW so tldr taco did some no no things But her unhealthy obsession with Winning a constantly (and unrightfully) changing game was the main factor, and her realization of this is leading her to a redemption arc that she and the people she hurt will (hopefully) heal from

weeee

#inanimate insanity spoilers #ii spoilers #i rlly hope this makes some sort of sense #i wrote this in sheer spite and rage after one of my twt mutual mischaracterized her #i didn't say anything to them so I did this instead LMAO #my favorite girlfailure no one understands you like I do #inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity taco #ii s2 ep15 #inanimate insanity season 2 episode 15 #ii taco

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