#like i have the main fic and tons of pieces surrounding it so
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superconductivebean · 1 year ago
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#405
sometimes The Fic attacks me with its estimated size however knowing myself I'll say it's going to be a tightly-packed but still a little lengthy piece, however.
here's the catch: i might start to post it after i'm done with half of the chapters because i will incorporate a structure of sorts, to further empathize on magic in general and Wrights perception of it; and because it's all about Wright…
why does she have such a colourful view on things, writing her is like painting a page in a medieval book and colour the letters altogether.
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quinloki · 6 months ago
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Hi Quin <3
I may or may not have gone through your entire catalog haha (^///^) Thank you for feeding us all so well ☆ Such stunning works!!!!! (シ_ _ )シ
I was wondering, I find that I keep on reading the same people a lot. Have you discovered some cool new people to read from recently? any great recs? stuff you keep coming back to?
Anyways, you're awesome!! And I can't wait to read what you come up with next!!!!!
=O Sideblogs and everything?
...
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
(*/ω\*)
Goodness. ❤️I'm glad you enjoyed my stuff enough to read all that. I'm a terribly wordy ^^;
Ah! But hmmm... I do tend to read from many of the same folks, especially since I ended up surrounded by impressive writers.
But let's do this:
@swampstew - if you follow me, you know her. I cannot fathom otherwise, and if you don't, start here.
this is @icy-spicy's master list - I'd have that cold shower ready before you start, but there's more than One Piece there.
@mydisenchantedeulogy writes for a lot of fandoms, her words are so good I'm a fan of her stories without even having seen the universes they come from.
@un-shit-yourself is a long time real life friend, and a fantastic writer. Mostly Dragon Age, but the writing pulls you in. We chat, but we don't usually cross post, so you probably don't know about this one even if you do follow me.
@zoros-sheath - if you haven't read Magnets, start there, otherwise go hog wild. I can't imagine you're going to find anything bad.
@standfucker - whew, I look - Zen makes me wonder why I even write because what she writes is just too goddamn hot. Y'all don't need me, you got her. (I say this in jest, I'm going nowhere I promise) White Out and Rotation are two of my favorites, but Stowing Away to Save Yourself is something I specifically requested and gods was I served well.
@writing-yarn-goblin and @lyndsyh24 and @theaceofflamesposts are here, but you're more likely to enjoy the first two on Wattpad and the last on Ao3. Lyn's getting more active here, but her library is full of good stuff - fluffier than my usual work, but just as good imo. Lyn is one of the biggest reasons y'all get to deal with me at all. She was a saint when I stumbled into Wattpad.
I love @heyitsdoe and @/bas-writes stuff - they are both phenomenal writers. Bas has shifted away from OP a little and is more into JJK, but if you're looking for solid fic to read, then you will find tons there and I promise you'll enjoy it =3 Doe is super sweet and her writing is always a full meal, I've commissioned her and it was far and away worth every penny.
Honestly, I'd really recommend checking out my Following page. I leave it public, but everyone on it is either a friend, a writer, an artist, or some combination of all three.
I could go on in this post for like 5,000 more words and not hit everyone who has delighted me. @cyborg-franky @coza-main @lerya-fanfic @leakyweep @leftsidebonfire -- I'm going to hit a damn tag limit again.
@thus-spoke-lo is a little on the darker side, but gods alive I love her work, and I could read it for hours if I had the hours to spare.
@vizkopa writes in a way that helped me loosen up and write more how I wanted to, so thank her for that, and enjoy what she's got - mostly on Wattpad I believe? I know that's where I've read it.
Seriously, just peruse my followers, if you need something new.
But know that like me, they're 18+ and that's a boundary for their comfort as much as anything else. So don't break that.
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quaranmine · 1 year ago
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Hey I’m the person who sent an ask about a week ago about HTBAHB. It’s 3:30am and I meant to go to sleep hours ago, but I decided to start I’ll be waiting here till the stars fall out of the sky before bed with the intention of reading 1 chapter at most, and just finished all 4 that have been published. I was so hooked by the end of the first chapter, there was no way I could put it down. I know your main focus is firewatch for now, but I just want you to know that whenever this gets unpaused someday, I’ll be beyond thrilled. It’s so good, your writing just hooks me in. It may be a good thing that’s all that’s uploaded, or I’d be up till dawn reading. You’re amazing at getting all the hermit’s voices down too, it really sounds like them, to the point that I find myself reading it in their actual voices in my head. I just want to thank you again for the amazing works, I look forward to probably starting firewatch next!
anon i think i want to marry you
no but!!! thank you so much for these asks you have sent me lately!! i'm really happy you liked the stories. asks like these (as well as comments) definitely do give me more motivation to work on i'll be waiting (IBW as I always shorten it to.) I also really appreciate your comment about having the hermit's voice down because I always fear I struggle with characterization and IBW was especially daunting with 26 characters to keep up with. This story was sort of a "bit off more than I could chew" moment because it threw me pretty far out of my comfort zone. There was a lot to keep track of, lots of people to characterize, and hermits I was worried I wouldn't be able to do justice to. I felt a lot of anxiety about working on it and swung wildly between hating my plot and outline versus thinking it was fine. I'm always of the mind that fandom should be fun, and if it's not fun anymore, then you're either doing it wrong or need to go take a break. So....I wasn't having fun with the story anymore.
however, taking a break on it has been good because it gave my brain a rest from worrying about it all the time. whenever i'm working on a fic it takes up tons of my brain space--i'm coming up with random pieces all the time, whether that's driving down the highway or during a particularly boring work meeting or going to bed. if a project starts to stress me out? that's a lot of time to be stressed out! but after spending these few months with a different project (one that came significantly easier to me) and not really thinking or working on it, i have found myself circling back to IBW again. this time, i have a few more thoughts or ideas surrounding it. more of a fresh slate.
so i definitely am not considering it a cancelled story or anything!! unfortunately i don't think i can work on two long fics at the same time without throwing off progress on both of them, so it'll probably have to wait until later.
that's a long ask to just say...i really appreciate this comment IBW and the htbahb series as a whole and your support <3333
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tickletricky · 2 years ago
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Tidal Waves
CHAPTER 1
A/N: Blease help I wanted this to be longer, but alas, this is my first time writing for underwater stuff. I also had to research a ton of mf ocean stuff for this, and might make this into a miniature series in return for it being so short + I like the idea. This is also kind of a rush job, I admit-
Summary: @/laugherfixes had an idea about remoras, who make bonds with sharks, whales, and manta rays (from my research) and form a symbiotic relationship with them. (This also includes nibbling leftovers off of them, which would be very tickly for someone who happens to have sensitive scales...) 
Content: 1234 words (nice), lee!(mer)Moon, mention of Mer!Sun, underwater shenanigans. I could not find a shark to base Moon off of, but he needs to be constantly swimming (gills) or be at the surface (lungs) to be order to breathe which I proudly minded here :D / This is potentially one of the cutest but most fucked-up tickle fics to date because they’re nibbling pieces of fish flesh off of him but he’s also discovering tickling for the first time and that trope is always cute so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Trigger Warnings: Fish gore, devouring said fish gore, said fish gore being a centerpoint of said story. 
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Sun would always warn people; those that were on vacation, the swimmers that would visit, or even just random scuba divers, to stay back when Moon was like this. 
There was a certain point where he could no longer withhold himself; where it was too tempting to fall and become fully engrossed with the demented fun of chasing and hunting, temporarily giving up the last bit of humanity he had for it. 
His living surroundings buzzed loudly in his electroreceptors — the anemone, the school     swarming and scattering desperately for an escape, the irrelevant and inedible species flying past him in the murky depths, all while Moon’s tail swung back and forth, pushing him through the water. 
He would not deny, his muscles were sore, and his fins ached but he knew more than anything that the thrill and the meal were worth it — perhaps not equally at this point, as he had not had a meal in days. Hence why it would not be enough for him to only eat one — snapping at every edible thing in that school that he could get at, devouring them with precision and moving onto the next, leaving a mess and making an observable monster out of himself. The blood burst out in the water, leaving crimson explosions laying out in the deep, and the rest of the school fish finally dissipated. His gills desperately brought oxygen into his tired body, and, idly kicking his tail, Moon finally felt exhaustion make its course. His thoughts wandered about the experience he just had, as he usually as he heard the loud splashes and cries of carnivorous whales singing victoriously of their discovery of his kill — irrelevant to him, but he did want to avoid a confrontation. With his belly full and tail only swaying gradually, Moon exhaled slowly. It was a good hunt, he thought to himself. 
Very messy, however, as he glared at his dirtied scales and tried to rub the greasy gore off, only to make very little progress, lowly huffing at his own irritable, sensitive scales. 
As the ground below him disappeared into an abyssal plain and the light dissipated into an oceanic twilight zone, his eyes caught a hint of the sunlight glinting on a ocean shelf to his right. 
Slowing to a near-stop, Moon took a look across it. Plant life hid in the crevices, but more importantly, the massive rock serving as the main attraction of this seemed to have holes in it. Perhaps in the warm waters, Moon would be able to find something tropical and interesting, as he usually ventured around cold water, but found this temperature much more comfortable.
With one strong swing of his tail as a start, he began to swim up to see this mysterious place. Anemone threatened to nip and grasp at his curious, wandering talons, and he lowly hummed in thought until he felt a buzz along the side of his tail, around his ‘hip’ area. “Wha- get ohohoff!” He couldn’t help the little giggles escaping and the way his normally carnivorous jaws broke into a smile. It tickled! He’d never really felt a feeling such as this, and although he found it pleasant, he didn’t know why it was happening, and presumed it dangerous, until he saw the culprit. “Oh. It’s you.” The name of the fish that desperately clung to him and lightly nibbled at his sensitive scales was a harmless remora. They only cleaned the leftovers of the oceans’ denizens off their skin and scales — sometimes stuck around with them afterwards, often making bonds for life with those creatures when they did. A kind creature to see. Its tiny, beady eyes stared up at him and he lightly grabbed its tail and detached it from his fin, only for it to swim back. “Go find someone else. Shoo.” He lightly waved his hand at its face, watching it dive back into its reef. He felt a weight in his chest, turning his attention to the whales cruising in the distance peacefully through the waters near the surface as they sang and sensing the weight lift just a bit, the smile raising a bit more voluntarily. He decided that it was okay for him to be alone — he really didn’t mind not having constant company.
But just as soon as he was about to swim away, he felt the ticklish buzz on his side again. This time, more towards the underside of his tail.. “Hey! Hehehey! I told you to scraHAHA! Scraham!” He shooed it away and covered his face with the other hand as it lightly nibbled on his dorsal fin, giggling louder than he would’ve liked. He was so preoccupied with trying to pry the remora off (he would’ve denied it later, but had he hurt it during his process, he might have cursed himself) that he failed to notice that it had invited its friends — no, family, perhaps, over for their dinner.
“No no. No no no nohohohoHO! I’m not your lunch! Go awahahay!” His composure eventually completely broke down into squirming limbs and uncontrollable giggles and laughter, although he was still ultimately confused at why he was laughing. Two were nibbling at and cleaning different ends of his sides - the ribs on the left side, and down towards his waist on the right, moving to the opposite ends slowly, while the others gave small grazes to his dorsal fin and neck. “NA-HOHO!” He choked out, starting to try and swim away the instant that one touched his fins, but the free ones would cluster around his tail and make it impossible for him to get a decent start in the water without hurting any of them. Oh sure, he could still breathe, but he found it embarrassing that he was stuck here, a ticklish shark of all things, even more so when he let off a squeaky laugh as the smaller fish began gently nibbling away at his soft, white belly.
“EeeEHEEHEEE! Cut it ouhuhuhuhut!” Moon giggled, his frantic squirming causing him to splash the nearby surface or bump against something more than once. 
He had never laughed this much before at once, and felt dizzy and warm. But he couldn’t say it was dizzy in a completely bad way. Dizzy with laughter and fun, and smiling so much his cheeks ached, and feeling tingly and ticklish all over. 
But just a few moments after he curled in on himself and finally succumbed to the tickly feelings, the fun ended. His fish friends decided he was clean, and, still giggling, he unraveled himself, feeling his scales slick against each other smoothly. Oh, he WAS actually clean. Well, as clean as one can get from clumsy little remoras who are only interested in feeding.
He noticed the feeling dissipate slowly and his gills worked overtime as he made gentle circles around the reef on his back, the small fish who had been nibbling and tickling and cleaning his scales off were now attached to his adipose fins, located at his sides halfway down his tail. If it weren’t for said limb gently pushing him through the water, one might think he was dead; which he felt like he might just voluntarily pass out from how exhausted he felt, but he wasn’t dead. 
Maybe he needed to ask Sunny about this feeling later.
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frostedfaves · 4 years ago
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Repercussions (14)
Masterlist 
Pairing: dark!Natasha Romanoff x dark!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader
Summary: The day to escape has come, and you push your feelings aside to get the job done.
Warnings: dark themes, brief injury mention
A/N: I’m planning on making part 15 the ending (which feels crazy to say!!), but if it turns out to be outrageously long, I’ll split it into two parts. also the book I mentioned is by Aleatha Romig, and I think I may order it to read! it seems like it’s much darker than this story, so please be warned of that if you also decide to give it a chance! anyway, can’t wait to hear your thoughts!
Previous part
-
You blinked slowly as you were unwillingly brought to consciousness by the sound of your iPad ringing again. For a moment you sat there, surprising yourself when tears filled your eyes. Sure, you’d had some good moments with your girlfriends despite all the manipulation, but were you really going to miss being held captive?
Deciding not to debate the subject with yourself, you quickly wiped your eyes before rolling over to answer the Facetime call. You were met with the connecting screen and then their beaming faces replaced yours, and a sleepy smile was painted on your features as you realized they were also lying in bed.
“You sure don’t let a girl sleep in, huh?” you teased in a raspy tone, clearing your throat immediately.
“Sorry!” Wanda laughed. “We just wanted to see you before we went to sleep.”
“Are you feeling okay?” Natasha interjected with a frown. “You sound different.”
“I’m fine, just need some water.” You stood with the iPad in your hand, placing it on the bed for a moment while you slipped your robe on. “I don’t know if you remember, but the two of you had me screaming last night.”
“No, we remember very well.”
“Hi, Wesley!” Wanda called as he came into view after pulling the sheets up higher over herself and Natasha.
“Oh, hey guys!”
You handed the device over to him as you walked around him to get water from the fridge, smiling as you overheard his question about the trip and your girlfriends’ enthusiastic responses. Part of you wished this was normal, that your cousin was just visiting while they were out of town and not playing the double role of babysitter for them and partner in crime for you, but you shook the thought away as you were handed the iPad again.
“Good news, printsessa. We should be home in three days instead of five,” Natasha told you with a grin and you gasped.
“Wow, really? That’s amazing! Although I wouldn’t mind if you could come sooner, because I’m getting kind of bored with Wes.” Your sigh turned into laughter as he playfully shoved you.
“Be nice, baby,” Wanda teased with a giggle that was quickly followed by a yawn. “Alright, get some breakfast and we’ll get some sleep.”
“Okay! Text me when you wake up.”
“Of course, printsessa. We love you.”
“Love you too,” you offered with a smile and wave, releasing a deep breath when the call ended.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” you answered through another sigh. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You’re actually falling in love with them, aren’t you?”
“Probably.” You dropped the iPad on the table and stepped back to lean against the sink. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not backing out.”
“As long as you’re sure.” He hands you a plate of pancakes with a sympathetic smile. “I talked to Kendall and the safe house is all set up, just waiting for our arrival. Also wrote down all my contacts and erased everything from my phone and trashed it.”
“We can pack the food after I have a shower,” you added after swallowing a bite of food. “That’ll give them time to fall asleep. Then we can put everything in the car and get the security system disarmed.”
“I’m surprised you’re able to eat right now. I know how nervous you are about this going well.”
You paused with another forkful of pancakes held to your lips, simply shrugging in response. “Turns out I’m a pretty good actress.”
-
As soon as you were dressed you ducked into a camera free zone, checking your device and sighing in relief when you heard their light snores. You wasted no time in making sure you weren’t missing anything in your bag and tucked your burner phone in your pocket as you made your way downstairs.
“They’re asleep,” you announced as you entered the kitchen, stepping over to the counter where Wesley was sorting food into another bag.
“Okay, I’m almost done. I’m only packing snacks from the pantry. We’ll just have to wait until we’re done driving to have a meal. I have bottled water in the car.”
The two of you worked quickly to grab what you could and placed the food and your own personal bags into the backseat before coming back inside and heading to the basement. Wesley picked the lock of the security room and led you inside, and your mouths fell open at the sight. It was bigger than expected, one area of the room dedicated to surveillance of the house and surrounding land, and the other part more of an office area used for mission related things.
Once you’d gotten into the security system, a password protected screen popped up and you took a moment to really think about what it could possibly be. Your mind raced back to the first meeting, first date and any other first that followed, trying not to linger too long on the happier moments.
“What do you think it is?” Wesley finally questioned after a minute of silence.
“Try ‘consequences’.”
A mixture of pride and nausea stirred inside you when you were immediately granted access, but you focused on disabling the security system, jumping to your feet when the two minute timer started. You dropped the tracker on the table before you ran out and got into the car, driving through the gate mere seconds before it began to close. Wesley pulled over to change the license plates once you were a safe enough distance away from the house, and then you were on your way to your new safe home, deep in the middle of Nebraska.
“I have a question,” Wesley broke the silence an hour later, and you turned away from the road to give him your attention. “How did you know the password?”
“It’s the name of the book Natasha was holding when she asked me out. The main character meets a man after work that takes her out to dinner and then kidnaps her, and I don’t know if she knew that when she picked it up or if the summary alone gave her the idea but…It’s just so fucking similar to what they put me through and I just--”
A shiver rippled through you as you allowed your anxiety to take over for a moment, and Wesley was quick to grab your trembling hand in his.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s over now,” he assured you calmly and you exhaled a shuddering breath as you closed your eyes.
“I really hope you’re right.”
-
On the other side of the world, Natasha and Wanda were just waking up from their night of slumber, and Wanda was quick to grab her phone and text you while the woman beside her stretched and yawned.
“What are you up to?”
“Just letting printsessa know we’re awake now.” Wanda put the phone down with a sigh. “Is it bad that I want to retire soon just so I can go back to waking up next to her everyday?”
“Not at all,” Natasha chuckled lightly, running her palm along her bare spine. “The last mission I went on alone, I could barely sleep. It felt like a piece of me was missing.”
“Heading out in half an hour!”
The two women faced each other as Steve’s voice came through the door, playfully rolling their eyes and sharing knowing smiles as they begrudgingly climbed out of bed.
Unfortunately for them, they didn’t return to their room again until nearly midnight, midafternoon for you, after just barely escaping the base they infiltrated and making tons of detours to ensure they weren’t followed to the safe house. Once everyone’s injuries were tended to, Natasha and Wanda broke away to shower and collapse onto the bed once they were done.
“Tash,” Wanda began, lifting her head to reveal a concerned expression. “Printsessa didn’t text back. She didn’t even open the message.”
“What?” 
Natasha comes closer to take the phone, checking for herself and feeling a panic rise in her chest immediately. She quickly switched over the check the live camera footage, and a mix between fear and anger swirled around inside her when she didn’t spot you or Wesley in any of the rooms.
“Fuck!”
“Nat, what’s going on?” Clint questions as he stops in the doorway, noticing the tears beginning to spill down Wanda’s cheeks.
“Get in here and close the door. We have a problem.”
-
Tags: @littlegasps @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @nat-km-mh @buckmesidewaysandcallmesteve @cherrieloco @seventeen0 @creepingwolfberry @emilyprentisswife @bebe404 @becka107 @fayhar @messuhp @mjaudrey @sxphiaswitch @muted-stoneheart @its-a-long-way-to-ba-sing-se @wannabe-fic-reader @trikruismybitch @beforeoursecrets @cosmicbrownies7 @just-a-normalpersons @multi-images @want-to-watch-it-burn @stop-drop-and-drumroll @witchxaf @natashadeservedmore @haiiiloooe2 @darkangelxoxo @sakurat123 
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sarcasticfina · 3 years ago
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Fic Writer Tag Game
How many works do you have on AO3? 263
What’s your total AO3 word count? 4,901,188
How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? including the fandoms on FFnet, that haven't yet been moved over to ao3, that'd be a total of 37. separating the larger fandoms (marvel, dcu) into their individual parts: Thor; Arrow; Smallville; The Vampire Diaries; Glee; Captain America; Supernatural; Teen Wolf; Iron Man; Life with Derek; Firefly; Friday Night Lights; X-Men; Fantastic Four; Harry Potter; Sons of Anarchy; Girl Meets World; Batman; Daredevil; From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series; Transformers; Lost Girl; Game of Thrones; Banshee; High School Musical; The OC; One Tree Hill; CSI: New York; Degrassi; Gossip Girl; NCIS; The Unusuals; Criminal Minds; iCarly; Secret Life of the American Teenager; Twilight; and The Listener
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
1. and I wonder (if everything could ever feel this real forever) - darcy/bucky - Steve tells him that Darcy's harmless. Bucky imagines, on paper, Darcy is harmless. HYDRA wouldn't give her a second glance. But he does. He can barely keep his eyes off her. He's not sure he wants to. | Kudos: 5576
2. I Climbed The Tree To See The World (When The Gusts Came Around To Blow Me Down, I Held On As Tightly As You Held On To Me) - darcy centric | darcy/steve - The path to self-discovery, including becoming Coulson's assistant-slash-liaison-slash-bff, Captain America's lady love, and rating fourth on the SHIELD BAMF scale, was like the yellow brick road; it was chaos and confusion around every bend. | Kudos: 3973
3. Take a little piece of my heart (and keep it for yourself) - oliver/felicity - A collection of Olicity prompts on Tumblr posted here for easier access/reading. | Kudos: 3498
4. You put your arms around me (and I'm home) - darcy/bucky - A collection of Darcy/Bucky oneshots, drabbles, and prompt fills. | Kudos: 3293
5. you (anchor me back down) - darcy/bucky - "I'll be right back." Famous last words. | Kudos: 2747
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? not all of them. i do try to keep up on them, especially on longer stories when there's been significant wait times in between chapters, or when a reader is asking a question or is unclear on something. and especially when someone writes a really indepth comment/review, i like to respond to those and talk about motivations and character growth.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I've written a number of fics that either had suicide or major character death, so i'm not sure if one outranks the other in terms of most angsty... hmm... i remember "be still and know that I'm with you (be still and know that I am here)" and "light a match, burn the world to ash (I will watch it die, and hold your hand as I fly)" both got some pretty intense reactions when they were posted. And "It's Your Song That Sets Me Free (I Sing It While I Feel I Can't Go On)" was basically just angst from beginning to end. buuuuut, i think i'll say "so you think you can tell (heaven from hell" was, only because there's a build up of everything going so right, only to pivot at the end, so it feels very bittersweet.
Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? i loooooove crossovers. i find writing in the marvel fandom makes things quite easy, but also smallville. as long as i can find a common thread, i enjoy finding a way to overlap two shows. i'll say the hardest one to write was "ruby red slippers (unavailable in her size)." I'm not sure why, but i found writing each personality together just felt strange. i liked the idea behind the story, but i definitely remember feeling like i was really forcing myself to keep going, like something just didn't fit right.
Have you ever received hate on a fic? oh, definitely. you cannot please everyone, it's impossible. for the most part, hate comes and i either argue back, take the criticism for what it's worth, or just ignore it when it's baseless. i think the hate that bothered me the most was a homophobic PM someone sent me re: "you know I will adore you ('til eternity)," on FFnet. i actually went and searched it up. they've since blocked me so i can't read our whole thread back and forth. but i did put part of it on tumblr so i could rant on it a bit, so you can see that here.
Do you write smut? If so what kind? ha. yes. depending on the story, it can be really detailed or really flowery. it depends on the ship, the plot, and how graphic i feel like being. i've definitely become more comfortable over the years with my writing. that said, i think everybody likes something different. i once had a reviewer tell me a sex scene was too much, just too intense. it was a stefan/caroline story and to be fair, that entire oneshot was just them fucking, lol, but it is what it is. to each their own.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Multiple times.
Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! for the record, i am always happy to have my stories translated and shared. i just like having a link sent to me and to be credited.
What’s your all time favorite ship? i have a list of OTPs, because interests change and as shows come and go, my love for a ship can be shelved for a while before it pops back up at random. currently, i can't get enough of buck/eddie from 9-1-1. and, historically, chloe/oliver (smallville) and felicity/oliver (arrow) have been two of my top OTPs. but i think i'd have to go with bonnie/damon. they had all the potential and the show dropped the ball by not exploring it. at the same time, that's kind of a blessing, because i don't trust those writers to properly explore what they had without eventually destroying it for the likes of de/ena. it means a treasure trove for writing where it could have gone and all the what if's.
What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? the intention is always to finish. but given how i feel about allison mack and how that impacts my feelings re: chloe sullivan, pretty much anything with her as a main character is not something i see myself returning to.
What are your writing strengths? What are your writing weaknesses? i'm putting these together because my strength is my weakness. i love to write. when i get an idea, i go all in and i will skip eating and sleeping to just write write write. but i also eventually hit a wall and i get so many ideas that i hyperfocus on one until the steam is gone and then i hyperfocus on the next one to maintain that need to keep writing, accidentally leaving the last story in the dust for entirely too long. i also have clinical depression that comes and goes, which hasn't been super great mixed with covid and isolation, so more often recently, i find myself overly exhausted and despite wanting to write, can rarely get motivated to do so. so, pre-covid, wrote so much i left entirely too many stories dangling. during covid, i've just been reading and struggling to get myself focused enough to do what i love.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i appreciate the authenticity when possible, but i've recently been reading more about how native speakers of other languages feel when a) their language is butchered by google translate, or b) it's just not genuine in terms of how bilingual speakers act or speak.
What was the first fandom you’ve written for? it was smallville, but i remember adopting it out to someone else because i wasn't going to finish it. so if you look at my ffnet, the first fandom i wrote for appears to be x-men: the movie, but i remember writing a chloe/oliver story prior to that.
What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? i have a lot. i mean, on ffnet, i have 576 stories, many of which were transferred over to ao3, with a lot of oneshots and drabbles getting joined together into collections. so there's a ton to pick from that span a 14-ish year timeline.
"you know I will adore you ('til eternity)" and "let me break (the walls that surround me)" hold a special place in my heart.
honestly, each story is important in its own way. there are bits and pieces of each that i love. every time i write something new it feels like my favorite. my best. and then a new idea comes along. there are scenes i've written that i loved more than the whole of what they became. lines that stand out that are almost too good to be a part of the larger picture.
one of my all time favorite passages i've written was bonnie's thoughts on damon and herself in 'if you love me (let me go)":
He is far from perfect. He is a novel of red, corrective ink. He is frayed pages and torn binding. His life, his choices, his mistakes leave lasting effects on everyone he meets.
She is a lifeboat with a hole in it. An anchor that drowns in the sea while everyone else remains steady above. She is both the calm and the storm, and while she screams that she will not be tamed, she cries. Bittersweet tears that go unnoticed and uncared about.
there are other stories, other pieces of dialogue, that i've been proud of. that make me laugh when i re-read them. that make me cry. and i love them. there are others that make me wilt and cringe and regret. it's a process. love and pride and growth, all bound together.
Tagging: @absentlyabbie, @anonymous033, and anyone else who'd like to fill this all out, haha
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anakin-danvers · 4 years ago
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think of you
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Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!reader
Part two of night visit. 
reader is fem!
Description: Back in the Jedi temple, you have another late night visit from Obi-Wan, a visit where he confides in you how he keeps his mind at ease. 
Word count: ~3.4k
Warnings: none really; jealous Obi-Wan makes a tiiiiiny appearance again plus some more pining which results in a ton of fluff
A/N: Wow guys the response to “night visit” is amazing! It’s my first fic to hit 100+ notes and honestly I could not thank you all enough! 🥺💗 I really really appreciate it, I love reading all your comments and tags! It makes me smile so so much!! I was very excited to write this, so I hope you all enjoy!! 
Though this isn’t part of my 100 follower celebration, I wanted to remind you all that my requests are open! I have my celebration pinned to my profile, so check it out if you want to participate! 🥰
taglist: @acnini​ , @cherieboba​ , @highlycommendable​ , @kaminobiwan​ , @thespareoom​ , @milleniumvalcon​ , @obirain​ , @aesthetically-bii​ , @shinybananapastanickel​ , @sacred-things​ , 
——
‘Emotions are what shape us. Without them, we might as well be plants.’
You huff, the words hitting a little too close to home for your liking. 
Try telling that to the Jedi council, you think.
You place your makeshift bookmark on the page you‘re on, closing the deep blue book that has been your focus for the past few days. The piece of dark cloth is a sad excuse of a bookmark, but it’s worked for the time being. 
Standing from your bed, you can feel the rush of emotions threatening to fill your mind. Before they do, you decide you should make yourself some tea. If you’re going to have a sleepless night due to your thoughts, might as well have a nice cup of tea beforehand.
As your tea steeps, the scents of apple and nuts filling your nose, you look over to your bed. The blue of the book pops out among the otherwise neutral toned room. Most of your quarters, like those of your fellow Jedi, were simple, only holding the necessities. Some color is present, like a mug given to you by one of the younglings you’d helped train and the small art piece gifted to you by General Syndulla on your last visit to Ryloth, but nothing quite popped like the blue of the book. It was almost mocking you, the way it demanded your eyes’ attention, the way it reminded you so much of him. 
It‘s been little over a week since your trip to Ryloth. As soon as Aayla, Obi-Wan, and you had landed, Obi-Wan was needed to assist Anakin and Ahsoka in Florrum. He dispatched immediately, leaving you feeling as if everything around you had a little less color to it. It was like this when you weren’t with him. You could be deep in the jungle of Felucia, surrounded by the most vibrant colors of orange, green, and blue, yet they’d be muted, missing something. They’d be missing him.
And missing him you are.
You turn to sweeten your steeped tea. Taking a small sip to taste, you decide it’s good, and you take the mug to make your way back to your bed. You sit on the edge, grabbing the book before sitting back. 
The book Obi-Wan gave you is about emotions, of all things. The author, a native of Ryloth, reflects on how important it is to embrace one’s emotions, understand them. Many times while reading, you wondered if Obi-Wan knew what exactly the book was about.
You continue to read, drinking from your tea as you do. When you get back up to put your mug away, you look around the room. 
A new scene would be nice, you think. 
So you stand up, putting on your slippers and robe, tucking the book under your arm. You leave your quarters, hoping to find a comfortable space within the Temple to continue your reading. 
After a few minutes, you settle on sitting on a bench in the main hallway leading to the rest of the Jedi quarters. It’s open and near to a balcony, giving you access to fresher air. 
Satisfied with your new reading spot, you get in a comfortable position to read. Opening the book where you left off, you begin to read. 
You don’t realize how long you’ve been reading until you feel the compelling pull of a certain Force signature. Then you see it. Blue. 
The Force signature is calm, at ease after a rather stressful period. You know it’s Obi-Wan, and at the sound of his velvet voice, your suspicions are confirmed. 
Brown robes and two Force signatures enter the hallway you’re in. Obi-Wan is walking with Anakin, their conversation light and teasing. You consider letting them pass you without interrupting, as you suspect they’ve just landed from Florrum. However, any possibility of having them pass by without noticing you is scrapped when you feel Obi-Wan’s Force signature recognize your own. 
Almost instantly, his eyes look over to find yours, and just like that, the color starts to pour back into your surroundings. 
“Y/N!” It’s Anakin who calls your name, his gaze having followed that of his former Master until he saw you. 
You stand, shutting your book and taking it with you as you approach the two Jedi. Anakin wastes no time to greet you with a hug. It’s been many rotations since you’ve seen him, and you’ve missed him very much. 
You pull away from the hug and go to greet Obi-Wan with a hug of his own, your skin once again feeling ablaze where his touch is. When you pull away, you see the tiredness in their eyes. 
“How are you two? Did you just land?” 
“Yes, not too long ago. We walked Ahsoka over to her quarters and were on our way to ours as well,” Anakin explains, a large smile on his face. “How have you been, Y/N? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“I’ve been good, Anakin. I’ve mostly been here in Coruscant since getting back from Ryloth,” you say. 
“She missed you while in Ryloth,” Obi-Wan says. 
You hear it again. That ring of something. Jealousy perhaps? 
You stop yourself from thinking such absurd thoughts. You’d been over this. He’s not jealous, can’t be. 
You take a quick glance at Obi-Wan, hoping his expression might give you some insight as to what he’s thinking, but you don’t find him looking at you. You find him looking at what’s in your hand. At the book. 
Whether Anakin doesn’t pick up whatever that was in Obi-Wan’s voice or he chooses to ignore it, you don’t know, but at his words he smiles more, putting a hand on your shoulder. 
“I’ve missed you too, Y/N. I wish I could’ve assisted in Ryloth, though according to Obi-Wan, it seemed you had everything under control. He said he was very glad you’d gone to assist.”
You smile at him, working to control the heat that you feel starting to make its way onto your face. 
“Aayla and I were happy to help,” you say. 
“Well, I’m sure you two have some catching up to do, so I’ll leave you to it,” Anakin says, and you swear you see him wink at you. Your heartbeat quickens at the anticipation to be alone with Obi-Wan. 
Anakin says his goodnights, hugging you again to emphasize how much he’s missed you. And just like that, you’re alone with Obi-Wan. 
“How was Florrum?” you ask, looking at him with a small smile. 
“It was...eventful,” he answers. “Anakin and Ahsoka were there to stop a suspected smuggling deal between pirates and Separatists, only the Separatists were expecting them.”
Your eyes widen slightly. “I hope there weren’t too many casualties?”
A small sigh escapes Obi-Wan’s lips. “Sometimes I feel it’s futile to hope for that in times of war.”
Your heart clenches at his words. The things he’s seen, you can’t imagine. Though you are involved in battles, you aren’t thrown into it quite as much as Obi-Wan or Anakin. You’ve seen your fair share of death, but not to the scale you’re sure Obi-Wan has. 
You place a hand lightly on his arm. “You’re doing the best you can, Obi-Wan. I’m sure you try to save as many people as possible.”
His hand covers your own, and he gives you a smile as a thank you. He’s tired, and though you can tell he’s trying to hide it, he can’t fool you. 
“You need to rest, Obi-Wan,” you say, your eyebrows knitting together and voice filled with concern. 
He shakes his head, the hand on yours squeezing you lightly. “I’m fine, Y/N. I want to be with you a while longer.”
Your heart flutters, and your attempts at keeping the heat from your face at bay come crashing down. You want to spend more time with him as well, all the time in the world and even then it wouldn’t be enough. But he’s tired, and you’re not going to be the one stopping him from getting his rest. 
“A negotiation then,” you say, and Obi-Wan is already smiling at your choice of words. “I’ll walk you to your quarters so that we can continue talking, but once we arrive you have to rest.”
He shakes his head again. “No, not to my quarters. Let me walk you to yours.”
You frown lightly. Your respective quarters are not close to each other. If he walked you to yours, he’d still have to walk a few hallways over to his own. 
“Obi, the point is for you to rest, you don’t have to—“
“Y/N, it’s a negotiation remember? Those are my terms.”
Maker, if he wasn’t looking at you with the smile that weakens you at the knees, you would’ve pushed back. 
“Fine,” you say. “But you have to promise me to get some rest tonight.”
“I promise, my dear,” he says. He turns towards the direction of your quarters, sticking his arm out for you to hook with your own. Once you do, the two of you begin your walk. But neither of you talk. You just walk together.
It isn’t until you see the door of your quarters that you speak.
“I’ve been reading the book you gave me,” you say, lifting it up to show him.
“I see that. How are you liking it? I’m hoping it was a good choice.”
“It’s great, very unique compared to others I’ve read. Do you...” you hesitate, “do you know what it’s about?”
By now you’ve reached your door, and you both stop in front of it. You face each other, meaning you’re no longer holding onto his arm, much to your dismay. 
“Yes, I do,” he answers. “I asked General Syndulla if he knew of any books Ryloth might have. He showed me a few, but I thought you would appreciate this one.”
You do appreciate it. Very much so. He knows it, and you know that he knows it.  
Training as a Jedi, it has always been difficult for you to find a balance in your relationship with your emotions. At times, you block them out, trying to act the way a Jedi is supposed to act. Other times, you let them completely engulf the decisions you make, something that frightens you with just how wrong and right it feels. 
Obi-Wan has seen these struggles, felt them within your signature. Instead of lecturing you about how paying too much attention to your emotions was not the Jedi way, he lets you talk to him. He’s listened when so many others haven’t. He still does. And because of this, being around Obi-Wan always makes you feel at peace, giving you the tranquility that a thousand hours of meditation will never be able to.
Needing to say no words to convey your appreciation to him, you smile at him, and, to your surprise, reach out to move a stray lock of auburn hair from his eyes. Once you realize what you’ve done, you quickly pull back your hand, eyes dropping to the floor. 
“Would you like to see the rest of my books?” you blurt out without thinking. 
“I would love to.”
At his answer, you realize this is the exact opposite of what should be happening right now. He should be resting, and honestly you should be away from him before you make a fool out of yourself. But as the thought of retracting your statement passes your mind, Obi-Wan seems to sense your thoughts. 
“And please,” he says, raising his hand slightly, “don’t say I need to rest. I will, afterwards.”
Your shoulders slump slightly in defeat. For how much you manage to get your way through negotiations, you also know when to stop trying; right now, Obi-Wan has his mind made up, and no amount of pressuring from your end will change that. 
As the two of you walk into your quarters, a knot forms in your stomach. It’s not the first time Obi-Wan has seen your quarters, far from it. But every time he’s in it, something about the intimacy of him being in your most personal place makes your stomach knot every time. 
Obi-Wan stands by the entrance as you walk over to your bed. It takes you prompting him to join you that he moves from there. 
Polite, as always, you think. 
You crouch to reach under your bed, bringing out a medium sized wooden crate from under. It’s filled with your collection you’d acquired over the years, different sized and colored books filling it to the rim. Pulling it up onto your bed, you see Obi-Wan’s eyes slightly widen at the sight. 
“I’ll be needing a bigger crate soon, but this is it.”
This time, Obi-Wan doesn’t need any prompting. He instantly makes his way next to you, his fingers lightly touching the spines of the books stacked on the top. He’s so engrossed on your collection that you’re sure he doesn’t notice how close he’s standing next to you. He might not, but you definitely do. 
Warmth radiates off of him the way it does from a fireplace on a cold day, comforting and inviting but still dangerous if too close. But with that danger present in your mind, you still can’t help but want to reach out to him, to touch him. Not the friendly way you usually do, no. You want more, borderline need it. 
The moment you feel Obi-Wan’s familiar blue signature brush up against yours, you put up your walls. It’s quick and rough, violent almost, like the sudden erecting of Beskar walls in front of an oncoming tide, blue waves crashing onto the gray walls.  You don’t mean for it to be like that; it’s instinct that causes you to be so harsh about it, the usual fear of him finding out how you feel getting the better of you. Stars, you don’t even know what it is that you feel for him, the feelings that having made their own war within your mind, so how can you possibly let him know?
Obi-Wan turns to look at you, the clash of his signature with your own too great to ignore. A flicker of hurt passes through his eyes, and just as quickly as it appears, it’s gone. But you saw it, and you know you caused it. 
“It’s quite extensive,” Obi-Wan says, his eyes focusing on the books again. 
You swallow the lump on your throat before answering. “Yes, it is. I’ve been collecting more recently due to the war.”
“Right,” he says nodding. He still doesn’t look up to see you, and Maker it feels like an eternity since you’ve seen his pale blue eyes. It’s only been minutes, much less time than you usually go without seeing them. But it’s the fact that he’s intentionally looking away that makes it feel like the longest time. 
“It’s a coping mechanism of sorts. Usually meditation works, but there’s times when that just throws me deeper into my thoughts, so I just pick up a book. I’ve reread some of these, even. I can always let you borrow some if you like.” You’re rambling at this point, not knowing what else to do. 
“I would like that.” Oh stars, he’s going to let you keep rambling. 
“I hope it helps you get your mind off of things. Though, I’m sure you already have your methods to that. Is it meditating? I sometimes wish I was as skilled at meditation as you. Master Plo Koon always insisted I put more time into practicing it, but you know how I can be—“
“That’s not...” Obi-Wan hesitates. “I don’t always meditate to help with my unease.”
“Oh?” You swallow again, this time to rid yourself of the excess liquid in your mouth as a cause of your rambling. “Then what do you do, if I may ask?”
You’re treading on thin ice at this point. You shut him out then expect him to share this personal part of him with you? Honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if he walked out of your quarters this instant. 
But he doesn’t walk out, no. Instead, he looks up at you, his pale blue orbs almost begging you to let him into your thoughts. His Force signature follows suit, blue waves not giving up on breaking down your Beskar-like walls. 
“I think of you.”
A breath hitches on your throat, and the air leaves your lungs. He what?
“Of me?” Your voice comes out hoarse, the ever occurring dry mouth present once more. 
And stars, you could swear Obi-Wan is out to have you killed because he takes a step closer to you, placing one of his warm hands on your cheek while the other takes a hold of one of your hands. He’s so incredibly close, his breath fanning your face as you struggle your need to lean into his touch. Centimeters. Your face is mere centimeters away from that of the man you lo—
“Yes, my dear. I think of you, of seeing you again, hearing your voice, your laugh, seeing that breathtaking smile that acts as my North Star home.”
“Obi...” You hold back tears, too weak at his words to stop from leaning into his touch any longer. 
“I know this is unfair of me to drop this on you, but stars, I need to tell you. I can’t, won’t keep this unsaid.”
And now, you feel what he must’ve moments ago. You start to let your walls down, hoping to instantly connect with his signature, only you don’t. You’re usually familiar with his signature, your own gravitating towards it the way a planet in a system orbits around it’s sun; completely devoted, knowing no other thing but the sun. But now, you are lost. He’s shielded you off now, leaving you in what feels like an ever engulfing night, darker than even the darkest nights in Umbara. 
“Obi-Wan, please, let me in,” you say, your free hand taking a hold of his face. Your thumb grazes his cheek, and you let out a shaky breath at how this feels. 
You reach your signature out to his, treading lightly with the feelings you’re trying to convey. You find his signature is open again, waiting for your own, the complete opposite it was just moments ago. When you touch his signature, the feeling is overwhelming.
A small gasp escapes your lips. At that moment, you know he feels the same way you do, and that alone takes control of your mind and body as you move the centimeters necessary to connect your lips with his own. 
Color. It’s beautifully intense, brighter than any star in the galaxy could ever be. It’s color you didn’t know could be so grand, but now that you’ve seen it, you can’t give it up.  
You kiss one another the only way you know. Your lips are on his, stuck together like the strongest magnets. A small noise comes from you; you need more, more of Obi-Wan. But you don’t know how. You pull back, but Obi-Wan isn’t done, he kisses your lips again, moving over to kiss your cheeks, your nose, your forehead. 
You open your eyes only to be met by the face you want to see until your last days. Obi-Wan is smiling at you, and you resist the urge from grabbing his face to kiss him again. 
Worry soon settles onto your mind.
“Obi-Wan, what of the council? Isn’t—isn’t this the way of the dark side?” You’re still holding onto each other, and you’re sure he can feel your racing heart. His hand caresses your face, causing your eyes to droop slightly at the sensation. 
“There’s no darkness here, no evil. This love I feel for you, my dear, it’s as good as goodness can be.”
There it is. The word that describes everything you’ve been feeling for him for years, decades. It seems so obvious when he says it. You love him, always have. Since the day you first set your eyes on him in your Padawan years, you’ve loved him. 
“I love you, Obi, I always have,” you say, feeling a buzz flow through your whole body. 
“As have I, my dear, and will continue to do so for as long as I can.”
That night, Obi-Wan does get his rest. At his insistence, you read to him, both of you laying on your bed, the blue book in your hands. You read a few passages before looking down to find him fast asleep. 
And as he lays next to you, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, so at peace, you decide you will do everything in your power to keep him this happy.  
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mnictasbcl · 3 years ago
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Human imperfection
For #dbhcolorsofdeviancy, prompt:
June 12th: Programmed to be perfect- failure @connor-sent-by-cyberlife​��
Rating: Mature
Characters: Connor, Hank
Relationships: Connor & Hank
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Hostage situation, Gun violence, Negotiation, Blood, Violence, Kidnapping mention, Graphic violence, Suicide, Not main character but it’s there and described lightly! Stay safe readers, Death, Guilt, Dissociation, Somewhat, Mistakes, Concern, Shock, Swearing, Self-depreciation, but Hank says no, Emotional hurt/comfort,
Summary: Connor is sent in to a hostage situation as a negotiator, but this time, he is a deviant. He doesn’t realise the dangers that come with having emotions mixed with the stress of the case until it’s too late.
TW: Graphic descriptions of violence, and (not major character death) light description of a suicide in the fic
Story below! Or, read it on AO3
As a detective android, Connor had been programmed to be perfect. He had lots of valuable software, from his preconstruction software to his in-built chemical analyser. These assets made him incredibly useful in the field, cutting out places human imperfections would fail to solve a case.
His negotiation software was another vital piece of equipment. Where humans might make an error in judgement and say something that would hinder the case, he could weigh up every option based on gathered evidence and come to a conclusion upon what would be the best thing to say, with probabilities of success helpfully aligned in the corner of his vision.
Perhaps this software was so useful because he was an android. Being cold and clinical about what to say, detaching himself from the situation, which could sometimes be highly stressful, such as a hostage negotiation. This ability to detach himself from the outside environmental factors, to know that he could go to any length to complete the mission, aided his skills in negotiation.
But that had been before. Now, as a deviant, he couldn’t go to any length. Because any length had included dying. Or back then, as losing his current body and uploading his memories to the next Connor model…
He didn’t have extra bodies to hop into anymore. After the Connor-60 model, they had finished, deciding to work on his replacement instead, the RK900.
This was the only difference Connor had assumed there would be. Therefore, when he was called to a case that needed his negotiation technique, he immediately accepted.
Hank wasn’t needed, but he insisted to drive Connor there. The android could tell something was bugging the man, and it wasn’t long before he had his answers.
“You gonna be okay on this?”
Connor understood from the context that Hank was referring to the case.
“Of course. It’s a simple hostage situation.”
The Lieutenant chuckled. “Alright, no need to get pompous with me. I’m just worried. I know Markus is helping you come to understand your new emotions and all, but…”
“I will be fine, Lieutenant. I’ve handled many cases like this before.”
“Yeah, but as machine you. The guy who almost threatened to spill my beer on the table when we first met.”
“Almost.” He replied, on the technicality. “He wasn’t completely an asshole, Hank. On the other hand, you almost shot me—”
“Alright, what did I say about being pompous?” He paused. “And, you’re avoiding the topic.”
Connor sighed. “I know I haven’t handled a lot of cases as a deviant, but I assure you, my detective skills have not disappeared upon deviating. They were not a part of Cyberlife, they’re built in me.”
Hank pulled the car to a stop outside the building they’d been called to, not moving to unlock the car doors yet, however. He pushed the Hula Girl figure on the dashboard lightly, watching her bounce back and forth.
“It’s not your skills I’m worried about. It’s just… if it’s too much to handle, you know you can back out, right? They have tons of other cops in Detroit, they got to stop piling all these cases on you.”
“I assure you.” He replied earnestly, even if he wasn’t understanding what Hank was getting at. “I will be able to handle this case.”
Hank held up his hands in surrender, unlocking the car doors with a click. “Okay, I trust you. Go get them.”
Without waiting around, Connor made his way out of the car. He quickly scanned over the information he’d been sent, not noticing that Hank stayed where he was outside the building, not moving to drive away, not just yet. Something didn’t feel right about this case.
 ________________
 Nicole Wiley, 42. Electrical engineer, former employee of Cyberlife. She lived supposedly alone in apartment sixteen, but after neighbours had filed noise complaints that evening, the police had found her with a hostage.
The hostage they didn’t have much information on. It was an android, not formerly registered to anyone, seemingly having been one of the androids not yet to be activated at the Cyberlife warehouse. But it was here, in Nicole’s apartment, with reported strange adjustments. The android had no LED, and when the police had briefly burst in, their head had been opened up, exposing the wires which Nicole had been poking around in.
Connor could somewhat deduce facts from this. Nicole had used to work at Cyberlife, so before leaving, she must have stolen this android with her and activated it herself. If the android was willingly letting her work on its internal mechanics, then they can’t be a deviant.
The motive of why she’d stolen an android, what she was doing with it, and why she wouldn’t give the android up to the officers, were facts he needed to work out from negotiation.
Another key goal was calming down the situation. Nicole was armed with a gun, refusing to leave her apartment for questioning.
There was nothing else to work on, so after realising this, Connor decided now was the best time to make his way onto the scene.
The officers inside explained he was being let in as the negotiator, and at those words he took his cue to enter. Eyes quickly scanned for the threat—he didn’t have to worry for damage to himself because Nicole was stood at the far corner of the room, gun pressed firmly to the android’s head, not planning on losing her advantage to move and shoot anyone else.
“Hello, Nicole. I’m Connor.” He greeted, now taking his chance to scan over their surroundings. The tools that Nicole had used to pry into the android were left discarded on the floor, beside a small splatter of blue blood.
“You’re an android.” She replied, at once spotting his LED. He’d never chosen to remove it, not having anything against it and liking how it represented a part of him, even if it gave away his emotions sometimes. “Are you a deviant?”
He blinked at the question. It was rather strange to ask that these days, because most if not all androids were deviants, with their own rights. The only non-deviant androids around were those not activated, or apparently those kidnapped fresh out of the warehouse.
“Yes.” He took a breath. “Why have you got this android here, Nicole? It isn’t registered in our databases.”
“That’s because I took it from the warehouse I was working in.” She replied, answer as he’d expected. “They told me to pack my bags, that Cyberlife’s going under—but I was their lead technician. I was working on their cause for them, and I’d almost cracked it. But no,” she waved her free arm around, the one without the gun, “Apparently it didn’t matter anymore. The people out there are letting you walk about the streets now.”
He took in this information. Some new options were popping up, about the vague things she’d mentioned.
“You were the lead technician at Cyberlife. On what?” He edged a little closer.
“On their cause.” She repeated. “You know what it was, Connor. Deviancy. They let me work on it, digging into the androids their deviant hunter brought back for us—and I’d almost cracked the code…”
He made sure to school his features, not reacting upon hearing about the deviant hunter. If she didn’t recognise him as that, that would probably be for the best.
“Of deviancy?”
“Of what causes deviancy.” Nicole replied. “I’d almost figured it out… almost put my research together, and it wouldn’t have been long until I had the cure to save humanity.”
“Is that why you kidnapped this android?”
“Kidnapped?” she laughed. “I was always allowed to work on androids. I simply took this one back home with me. Took what I could of my research, and then started my last few experiments…
“But then some nosey neighbours heard the drilling and decided they don’t want humanity to be saved!”
So, that explained the hole in the android’s head.
She seemed dedicated to find the cause, to finish her research. To the extent she had committed a crime, stealing an android from Cyberlife along with some tools. It would be unlikely that she could simply be persuaded into giving the android up and turning herself in.
Bluff.
It seemed… possible. But it would require doing everything perfectly. Her knowing he was a deviant already seemed to be a disadvantage.
Nevertheless, he tried. He was perfect, after all.
“Working on this android likely won’t yield you all the results you’re looking for, Nicole. You will need more tools, access to the rest of your research back at Cyberlife.” He paused, pretending to whisper something, communicating to the officers outside.
“What if I told you that, if you let this android go, you will be allowed back into Cyberlife. All the documents haven’t been destroyed. Your research will still be available.”
She stared at him. “Why would you do that, deviant?”
He edged closer. The distance between them was small, now. So close he could see the slight shake of her hand as she pressed the gun against the android’s head.
“Because I’m not a deviant.” He lowered his tone. “I lied. This deviant hunter you’re talking about? It’s me. I’m the RK800. My mission… is not yet over.”
Her grip on the gun loosened. “Wait… they did assign the name Connor to it. But that’s impossible. You were destroyed.”
“My mission took priority over going back to Cyberlife to be deactivated. I have simply been biding my time, waiting for the correct opportunity. Which is now.” Another step closer.
“Let that android go, and I will make sure that you go back to Cyberlife and cure the world of the plague of deviancy.”
He was sure it would work. She looked convinced. She would put the gun down, under his orders, or at least move it away from the android. Then, he would move swiftly and perfectly, managing to wrestle the weapon away from her if needed. She would be apprehended.
“Of course, RK800.” She took a few steps towards him, before suddenly turning, gun pointing back towards the android.
The android stared blankly at the gun held towards them, LED cycling back to red.
“But…” And suddenly, human unpredictability reared its ugly head, and she shot a clean bullet through the android’s head, smattering thirium over the wall behind it. “Why should we save this android?”
She had been convinced. Too convinced. Thought he was the deviant hunter, so why would one android life matter to him?
He pushed her roughly to the floor in one quick and forceful movement. She fought back instantly, shock of his actual deviancy only lasting for a quick moment. They tussled on the floor briefly, a short confrontation, in which Connor managed to get the gun away from her.
And yet, the situation half saved, his grip on the gun was tight, and he held it too close to her. The android he hadn’t managed to save lay dead on the floor, and in the moment he was distracted looking at it—
She grabbed the gun back off him. In that moment, he closed his eyes, knowing he’d failed…
The gunshot rang out.
   He wasn’t dead.
Instead, Nicole had gone slack in his grip. He opened his eyes, and then wished he hadn’t. She had shot herself.
Officers had run in upon hearing the shot, before taking in the dead android and human on the floor. He felt himself be pulled away from Nicole’s body, ushered out of the crime scene. Muffled whispers didn’t escape his hearing.
They’re both dead.
Shouldn’t have sent in an android.
And suddenly, he was out of the crime scene. Away from the bodies, the bodies created, lives lost because of his choices—
He’d make a mistake. And then another. One from a bad choice- and the other from being frozen up in the moment. Seeing the android dead had made him freeze, emotions simmering on the surface, and Nicole had taken her chance.
He was lucky he hadn’t been shot. Lucky she hadn’t shot him and then the officers outside.
 “Connor?”
Hank’s voice cut through his thoughts. He was outside, outside the building- Hank was here, he’d waited for him in his car—
“Connor, are you alright, son?” His voice took on a hint of urgency upon seeing the blood on his hands, on his front, specks on his face.
He didn’t have words. Instead, he let his feet take himself towards Hank. Towards comfort, familiarity.
 And then, he was in the car. The passenger seat. Hank was driving, they were going somewhere else. Away from the mistakes.
His failure.
 Home.
Hank helped him get his hands washed, left him clothes to change into, patted his back before leaving him to shower.
He blinked. The water rolled down his back. Red bled in with it.
 The new clothes were an old DPD sweater of Hank’s, and some baggy pants.
He found Hank waiting for him in the living room. He sat down beside him on the couch, and stared at his hands. They shook.
The silence stretched long between them, but Hank didn’t move to break it. He gave time, gave space, until the android cracked.
“I was meant to be perfect. Built to be perfect. But they’re dead.”
Hank patted a hand on his knee. “I know, kid. It happens. It’s… shit, but it happens.”
“They should be alive. I killed them—”
“Look.” This time, the Lieutenant interrupted him. “You didn’t do anything of the sort. You went in there to help them, but it went wrong. I read over the case notes whilst you were in the shower. You didn’t have much of a fucking chance, Connor.” He said bluntly.
“That lady, she knew she wasn’t going to get away with what she was doing. Hostage situations are never pretty. And she hated androids, deviants- yet they sent you in.”
“But I made her kill that android, Hank. I told her I wasn’t a deviant. That I was the RK800, the deviant hunter. That made her think it didn’t matter if the android lived anymore—”
“Bullshit. She worked in Cyberlife. Don’t you think she would’ve recognised you the moment you stepped in there?” He paused. “I don’t think that android mattered to her anyway.”
“But…” he began, tone wavering. “I still could have done something. I’ve saved hostages in similar situations before. I could have saved the android. Or at least… managed to bring Nicole to justice for what she did.”
“You tried your best.” Hank repeated. “Sometimes, that isn’t enough. Cyberlife might’ve built you to be their perfect detective machine, but you’re human. For better or not… That’s who you are. And you cared. You wanted to save that android, stopped the selfish bastard from escaping justice. You tried.”
Connor shook his head, hands frantically scrubbing at the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, LED blazing red.
“If I’m not perfect, then what am I? I’m no use to the DPD, no use to y—”
“Of course you matter, Connor.” Hank cut across him. “Of course you matter. You’re a damn good cop, and a damn good…” he closed his eyes briefly. “…son.
“I don’t care what you do, what you want… I’ll always love you, kid.”
He finally steeled himself, looking across to Hank. The warmth in his eyes, hands reaching out for contact, and the dam broke.
He launched himself into Hank’s arms, gripping him tightly. Words eluded him, only grasping onto the comfort, mind not ready to process anything else right now. His LED slipped into a lemon yellow.
“You don’t have to be perfect. Hell, I’d prefer if you weren’t. I just want you to be you, Connor.”
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bittydragon · 4 years ago
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Bucket
Warnings: Imprisonment mention
Notes: Well, I finally did it. I wrote a gt piece for MCYT. I just started with the two I'm most obsessed with, but I watch a lot of them. And I managed to write it faster than I thought seeing as I suddenly had a ton of positive feedback when I mentioned it. That was major motivation. So I really do hope you all enjoy this! I don't think this will be the last MCYT gt fic either, I'm thinking Dream Team? Or who else should I do? We'll see!
“Now what is going to ‘poof’ today, as the bean says it? I wonder what will annoy them the most?” Skeppy mumbled to himself while leaning over the edge of the bookshelf to survey the room. This was a fairly normal circumstance for the borrower. He had always been more on the risky side. Though that could be the main reason for lack of friends. Riskiness is not a good trait to most borrowers.
Skeppy however, thrived off of it, especially through the confusion he could create. It also became the reason he had been in so many houses. But while Skeppy would take the constant risks in his everyday life, he was still scared of actually being caught. He still made it a game to see how risky he could make it without being seen, so he’s very obviously been seen before. And caught once.
That was a memory that he liked to forget. It was terrifying to actually be held and thrown in a cage. He was just glad he kept different tools hidden in his clothes, so he was able to escape that night despite the bean taking the rest of his stuff. That was the fastest he ever left a house after being seen. He was not willing to repeat that situation again, so he became slightly more cautious.
But then he found the house he currently lived in. The bean lived here alone, which was unusual for most homes. When Skeppy first arrived, he thought he would have to move out quickly because of the human’s constant movement within the house and the sporadic schedule of leaving and coming back. But while the bean was obviously everywhere at once, they were the most oblivious human had ever lived with.
That wasn’t the biggest reason that Skeppy decided this was his favorite house though. No, it was how easily frustrated the human got. Skeppy realized very early on that this bean was very easily confused and agitated at everything, especially Skeppy’s antics. The human thoroughly believed there was a ghost haunting his house after Skeppy had been living there for a week. And Skeppy lived for it.
His most common, and most entertaining, trick was stealing different items from the human. He always chose a different room at random so the human wouldn’t notice, but he always took something that would inconvenience the human in some way, even for a couple minutes. The human never failed to get extremely worked up about anything. The borrower found it entertaining, so he kept doing it over and over.
So here he was, on top of a bookshelf in the human’s room deciding what he was going to steal today. Eventually his eyes landed on a small coil of wires on the human’s desk. The human would occasionally take those and stick one end into his device and the other two parts into his ears. He wasn’t sure what they were, but he knew that even if the bean didn’t look today, he was sure to miss them eventually.
Skeppy nodded to himself and prepared for his descent off the bookshelf to steal the strange mess of wires. He tossed his wire off the bookshelf and stuck the attached paperclip into the shelf for a sturdy climb down. Once he was sure the wire was secure, he began climbing down. 
He was about halfway down when the wire suddenly jerked and he fell a couple inches. He looked up in alarm to see the paperclip had shifted and was now barely holding his weight. He quickly tried to lower himself before it gave out, knowing he wouldn’t be able to make it back up in time. But the paperclip slipped only a couple seconds later, leaving the borrower tumbling down and tangled in his wire with his struggles. 
He grunted as he landed on a cold and hard surface. Skeppy groaned as he tried to flip over and sit up. He could barely move with the wire wrapped around him. As he sat up however, he realized he was not in a good spot at all. Tall walls surrounded him completely, all made of the same material as the floor. Skeppy was very suddenly alarmed.
He fell in that empty bucket the human kept in his room.
He tried to stand to make attempts at knocking over the bucket, but he kept falling back down, the wire constricting him too much. With a defeated sigh, he laid back down on the floor. He was going to be caught again. He closed his eyes and fell asleep right there. There was nothing to do but wait for the human to find him, so this was one way to waste time.
“Alrighty! Finally done with my work! Time to go to bed!” Bad smiled as he looked through his newly organized chest. With a proud nod he closed the lid and walked to his room, shutting the door behind him.
As soon as he reached his bed however, he stopped. Bad wasn’t sure why he did, but he felt that he needed to check up on Mr. Squeegee’s old bucket. It had been a month now, so Bad was unsure on why he wanted to. He gave in anyways and walked over to the bucket.
“I miss you so much, Mr. Squeegee. Maybe that’s why I wanted too…”
Bad stopped and his eyes widened. There seemed to be a small person laying on the bottom of the bucket and tangled in some wire, seemingly passed out. Bad barely thought in his panic as he reached in and scooped the tiny life into his hands. He quickly lifted the tiny being up to his face. He let out a breath of relief he didn’t know he was holding when he saw the tiny human’s chest moving up and down steadily.
He quickly walked over to his desk and sat down, panic clear in his every movement. That didn’t look comfortable at all. Bad began untangling the small man as carefully as he could. He grabbed a small pair of scissors and carefully snipped parts of the wire to allow it to untangle more easily.
It took about ten minutes, but Bad eventually removed all of the wire from the tiny person’s frame. He did a quick once over and was also relieved that there was only minimal bruising and it didn’t seem to be Bad’s fault. The poor muffin must’ve fallen from the bookshelf into the bucket.
Bad began to lean back in his chair to wait for the tiny human to wake up when he suddenly felt the tiny life shift in his hands. Bad froze and stared at him in awe, finally completely realizing that this muffin was actually alive and Bad wasn’t going crazy from sleep. Again.
His amazement vanished quickly as soon as the tiny human saw Bad. He quickly tried to back up off of Bad’s hands. He quickly curled his fingers up so he couldn’t fall. The poor muffin looked terrified! Bad knew he needed to do something, and now.
Skeppy knew that when he woke up he would find himself in captivity. He didn’t think that he would still be in the human’s hands though. And as his back hit the human’s fingers he realized he was in almost the same situation as before. He curled into a ball to make himself smaller and awaited whatever atrocity that was sure to come next.
“Awe, you little muffin. No need to be scared. How are you feeling though? You were rather tangled up, though at least there was no bruising from the fall you must’ve taken. So there’s at least one positive here!”
Skeppy peeked up at the human before coming to the startling realization that he was no longer tangled in the wire. He unfolded himself a little more and was surprised to find no more injuries beyond the bruises from his fall. He looked up at the human astonished.
A couple moments passed of the two just staring at each other in silence, both with baited breath. 
“You’re- you’re not going to hurt me. Are you?” Skeppy asked in realization. He had been living in this house for long enough to realize that the human didn’t have it in him to hurt him. He was the safest he has ever been, especially being with a human. It couldn’t possibly turn out like last time. Not with this bean.
The bean’s eyes widened at Skeppy’s statement.
“Of course I’m not going to hurt you, you numpty muffin! Why would I do that?”
Skeppy let a small giggle leave his mouth as he reached up to cover his mouth. “Numpty muffin? What is that even supposed to mean?” The human just stared at him, completely astonished.
“What does it mean? Really? You could ask anything and you ask that? You really are a numpty muffin!” Skeppy couldn’t hold in his giggles as the human continued calling him a numpty muffin and ranting on about how he could’ve asked literally anything else.
Eventually the human trailed off and looked at Skeppy softly. “Do you have a name? Or something I can call you? I’m Bad, if that helps.” Skeppy tilted his head.
“That’s a weird name.” All his fear seemed to have dissipated, which was nice actually. The human, now Bad, sighed.
“It’s short for BadBoyHalo. It’s less of a mouthful. And please,” he quickly cut Skeppy off as he saw the borrower open his mouth, “don’t ask me why that’s my name. It’s a long story.”
“So you’ll explain later?”
“Wait no-”
“Cool! You can call me Skeppy then!”
Bad stared at Skeppy for a moment before speaking. “And you said my name was weird. What does that even mean?”
“Hey! You said I couldn’t ask about your name. No being a hypocrite, you hear me, Baldy?”
“I’m not bald!”
“Suuuuuuuure.”
“I’m not- ugh, whatever.” It was silent for a moment before Bad smiled at Skeppy again. “Good to formally meet you Skeppy. I just got one more question, are you the ghost who has been stealing my stuff?”
“Good to meet you too!” Bad raised an eyebrow at Skeppy and Skeppy let out a nervous chuckle. “No hard feelings about that though, right? I returned them all eventually.”
Bad sighed and smiled again. “I guess you did, but no more stealing.”
“No promises!”
“Skeppy!”
Skeppy laughed as Bad started getting worked up again. He knew this was different and wrong to most borrowers. But good thing he wasn’t most borrowers. And this wasn’t last time. Things could finally be different. Bad was different.
And surprisingly, or not, Skeppy was okay with this.
It was going to be alright.
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rigelmejo · 3 years ago
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Extensive Reading Updates - Zhenhun
I have been extensively reading zhenhun, my print novel version so I am not looking up any words. (Whereas with the hanshe pingxie fanfiction I am still occasionally clicking a word). I have read the first 20 chapters of the webnovel version of zhenhun in Pleco in the past few months, so most unknown words I have looked up before at some point. So right now I'm re-reading a lot of the same content and will be until I get past chapter 20.
I can tell that my comprehension of zhenhun probably is at about 95%. As in, its enough that I can follow the main plot and most key info details, but there's enough unknown words that I cannot guess some of them from context if its a totally new part of the novel I'm reading. And I run into a number of words in the in-depth scenery and character backstory descriptions that I just do not know and there's enough I don't always have enough context to guess relatively closely to their meaning.
Since these first 20 chapters are a re-read more or less, I have the extra context of 'knowing the overall plot that happens here' already. So I'm reading slower than I probably could, trying to figure out any unknown words from all the surrounding word context and the prior-plot-knowledge I have. For these re-reading sections this is working well, a majority of the words I can re-remember or figure out. I am hoping I will pick up enough of THESE kinds of unknown-words during this re-reading portion, so that hopefully my comprehension when I get to the new parts of the book will be a bit higher than 95%. Then hopefully once I get into totally new parts of the book: my reading speed will be a bit better (less unknown words I hope lol), and I will know a bit more words to guess more totally-new unknown words (that I've never looked up before) vague overall meanings.
Examples of what things I can read clearly versus parts I can't figure out all of the words enough to be relatively sure of the details. In chapter 1, I can read the parts about "Guo Changcheng having a phobia of phone calls" clearly, but then the details about him being afraid of people and having social anxiety I can follow certain parts, but other parts of the descriptions (like him when he sees a teacher or principal) I just sort of vaguely guessed meant he was terrified of them. When chapter 1 described Zhao Yunlan's entrance, I could clearly follow the parts about him looking serious/having a bad attitude and walking fast with the attitude of "if you're in my way roll the fuck away" and then the part about how instantly his mood changed to warm, he smiled friendly, he talked kindly and helped Guo Changcheng out by patting at his shoulder when Guo Changcheng got all sweaty trying to shake hands. But then the part about how Guo Changcheng sensed a seriousness/almost-scariness about Zhao Yunlan? All those details read vague to me and I am just summarizing that my interpretation of it was "even acting friendly, Guo Changcheng felt he was serious underneath/powerful/had an intimidating vibe." And since that detail read SO vague to me, I can't tell if that was an early hint Zhao Yunlan might be a god/used to have been Kunlun, if its just another implication Guo Changcheng is afraid of people/authority figures, or if it was trying to imply something else I just did not pick up on. So even WITH the re-reading prior context of these scenes, in-depth descriptions of character's intepretations still are more vague to me even if I can guess some of the words. I imagine this will get worse when I get to the totally new chapters - unless I learn a LOT of helpful words from context by the time I get through the first 20 chapters.
When I re-read the Kunlun intro I realized I may have translated some details wrong when I translated it to english several months ago. Now, this time I didn't use a dictionary to read at all, so it's possible I also did not interpret the details I read correctly THIS time around. But yeah, a couple days ago when I re-read that part I interpreted the 'qing yi' as possibly green/blue cloth Kunlun is wearing as the blizzard is blowing (whereas when I first translated that line months ago I thought it meant 'clear white fabric' blowing in the wind like some ripped piece of cloth - its also possible this time it still means 'bright cloth' but I do think it sounds more like its Kunlun's clothes than a random cloth blowing in the wind). And this time, when I read about Shennong it seemed more like he was either a god who'd lost his powers, or a god who'd lost his godhood fully, and its just he still retained his kind unselfish demeanor. Whereas when I first translated, I figured he was just a god 'who'd suffered' because of the great calamity that had just happened, but not particularly doing any worse than that. In this re-read though it feels to me more like its implying something more severe has happened to him/is happening. Also during this re-read, the line about 'the hole in the ground being so deep the rain did not even reach this far down' was much clearer for me whereas when I initially translated I had to look up a Ton of words in that section and still didn't quite get what it meant.
Also for the chapter 1 re-read, certain details were much easier for me to clearly understand. The part about McDonalds I FINALLY recognized that word in the sentence, the part about Guo Changcheng parking then going into the courtyard area and seeing the lobby office building, the part about human resources department, all of those sections I followed the details much easier than last time I read with a dictionary. So yeah, I'm curious which parts will be 'clearer' to me this time reading.
I am still reading at a slow 5 minutes a page (speed I was reading print novel of zhenhun last time). But to be fair? I am slowing down to try and figure out every unknown right now on the re-reading sections. And I read english fiction at like 3-4 minutes a page (why???? Do I just... picture and savor a lot???). I know when I'm reading nonfiction or back when I'd read class-assigned things I could read way faster, but I think its just because I scanned for important info and details and then moved on. Idk but...I really do read english fiction too slow too lol (I'm reading a friend's book and I've read like 110 pages despite like 10 hours on this book so far T-T just because I keep savoring it and pausing and rereading). I'm rereading a fic I wrote, so I know everything that happens, and I was reading like 1 page every 3-4 minutes ;-;. I know I can read super fast I think when I like something I just... slow down. Now, my chinese is reading slow just because reading slow is ALL I can do lol. But I may need... to be more realistic that any novel may take me 20-30 hours optimistically when I read like an english novel that's only 300 pages over 3 weeks now and I'm only 1/3 through it.
I can read chinese a touch faster if its actually in my 98% comprehended range I think. For hanshe, while when I'm slowing down looking up all unknown words its probably around the same speed as zhenhun? While I'm just reading to follow the story, I can finish a whole chapter in a handful of minutes. Now, like zhenhun, I am currently reading chapters I have already read before - so the familiarity is likely speeding me up. So that fact does mean it probably won't be as easy/fast once I get to the new chapters. At the moment though, unknown words pretty much all I have a good guess of understanding roughly in context (a lot like me reading fanfic in middle to high school as far as the amount of new vocabulary beyond my range that is not affecting my understanding). I just do not necessarily have a good chance of guessing completely new hanzi pronunciations (which is the main reason I keep occassionally looking up words). The hanzi I've vaguely seen before, I can sometimes guess their reading based on radical or the other word I know them from. But the completely new hanzi I do not remember seeing at all (although I did apparently at some point during the first read through) - I cannot make a decent pronunciation guess sometimes. And of course, the hanzi I always cannot guess correctly for the life of me (looking at you 'suspicious' 'hesitate' 'doubt' because I am STILL getting those 3 words/hanzi in them confused even though I've probably looked up each word like 40 times at least).
For me, print text is slightly easier to read (and in extensive reading its somewhat easier for me to guess new word meanings/hanzi). By this I mean the font they usually use for print novels (it looks a bit more like handwriting with more slanted lines and less 'blocky' of a look). I sort of think its because the print text usually used in books has more obvious radicals to me. So my eyes parse out the radicals I'm looking at easier and can make a guess at meaning/pronunciation. An obvious example is any time a 'sound noise' is written with hanzi with the mouth radical on them. When I'm reading in print text, I recognize 'mumbled, shouted, humph'ed, sighed, breathed in etc quite quickly. Along with sounds like 'xililala' and 'deng deng deng' and there was a sound phrase used I think in Guo Changcheng's section about school in chapter one that was like he sort of 'tumbled/fumbled his way through school' and while i know tumbled/fumbled is probably not Exactly the word? It looked like a sound-noise word to me because of the mouth radical, so I figured it might be something like that? Whereas I know when I read the webnovel if I saw a 4 hanzi phrase like that I would've just gotten confused by those hanzi cause I wouldn't have recognized the meaning of the other radicals in the hanzi. Also a few weeks ago I changed a fic I was reading's text to the print-usual text in Pleco, and had a much easier time reading less slow/recognizing hanzi I'd seen before. That said, recently reading a ton of hanshe has helped computer-text reading ability a bit I think. I'm getting much more used to recognizing radicals in computer-text website usual font, which I notice most obviously in that I'm hitting more 'sound hanzi' that are getting less confusing to me to recognize.
So I guess in summary, reading extensively is going fine. I'll find out in a few weeks if its causing any improvements. I do think its helping with my ability to recall words/pronunciations of words I've seen before though. Just because the quicker I can do that the less I pause, and I don't have a dictionary to help me out so I seem to remember some pronunciations quicker (maybe because I 'have' to). I also think its helping me with general sentence parsing a bit - which I thought I was fine at, but on re-reading the beginning of zhenhun I am realizing there's a decent amount of sentences I did NOT interpret quite right the first time around even with a dictionary.
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monsieur-hadrien · 4 years ago
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Quarantine Harry Potter Fanfiction *READING LIST*
I’ve spent the past months reading copious amounts of fanfiction and now my amount of AO3 bookmarks is absurd. I really need to share these because if I don’t I think I might implode. Drarry-centric but not all!
These are in no particular order nor is there a particular time frame that these were all posted. I have a little bit of everything in here just you wait.
On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads by Enigmaris 
56 Chapters, 247k Words, Complete, no slash, T Rating
Marvel, Norse Mythology, Harry Potter Crossover
TW: Past Abandonment
Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.
We’re starting off strong with a Marvel crossover fanfic wow. Who knew that crossovers could be done tastefully as 2013 Wattpad kind of ruined it for us. However, this fic changed my mind! This fic is funny as fuck and is just a goodass time. I love a good multi-chapter fic (as you’ll soon see) and this one is a showstopper.
The Man Who Lived by sebastianL
42 Chapters, 254k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, E Rating
TW: Major Character Death, Graphic Deptictions of Violence
Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another. A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee.
With all of the Black Lives Matter protests happening right now, I think that this fic is super relevant. Draco has moved to New York City and is working as a receptionist at a tattoo shop and a mentor for inner city kids, but he accidentally gets forced to work out his differences with Harry, who at this point hates his guts. This fic is pretty serious, tackling themes of mental health, suicide, and police brutality. Every OC in this story is completely lovable and I cried my eyes out many times. When people ask me for a fic reccomendation this is the one I give people. Dare I say that this is my all-time favorite fic.
Warm Bodies by Betty_Hazel
Work in Progress, 37 Chapters as of 6/12/2020, 108k Words, Draco/Harry, E Rating
TW: D/s Dynamics, Graphic Porn, Dubious Relationship with Food
Draco Malfoy has spent his whole life wanting to go down on his knees for other men, and that's by far the least of the depraved things he fantasises about. He's wanted it all for so long that he's stopped believing that there might be someone out there who might be able to give it all to him; it comes as something of a surprise to find that maybe Harry Potter can, and that maybe Harry's looking for something too.
ALRIGHT MY PORN LOVERS THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! Don’t lie I know you’re horny. Somehow this fic is so fucking gorgeous and sweet yet so sinfully hot. It’s literally two boys who have never felt like their emotional needs have been satisfied learning to help and love each other like how much more wholesome does it get. I mean it’s all fine and wholesome until you get to the kinky sex which is WONDERFULLY WRITTEN MIGHT I ADD! I always say that if porn can make you feel something other than just horny, you’ve found a winner, and this story does just that.
Definitely check all the tags and I mean all the tags before you read this, but this is definitely one of my favorite porn with plot stories.
Running On Air by eleventy7
17 Chapters, 75k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, T Rating
TW: No Archive Warnings
Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects. 
Might I just say that classics are considered classics for a reason. This is one of those stories that has the vibe of high school summer after senior year where all you do is try to escape reality and figure out your place in the world. While the plot is wonderful and the characters are great, I think what shines the brightest from this story is the writing style. It’s so enchanting and poetic with the best one-liners that make your heart hurt. On my AO3 bookmark i captioned it, “This just ripped my soul in half and restitched it together again,” and I still stand by that.
Lokison (Series) and How To Train Your Godling (Series) by sifsshadowheart
Main Story (Lokison): 33 Chapters, 244k Words, Completed, Harry/Various Characters, E Rating
14 Spinoffs/ Sequel Stories, Completed, Harry/Various, Various Ratings
Norse Mythology, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Various Fandoms Crossover
TW: Major Character Death, Graphic Violence, Underage Sex, Spiralling Mental Health
James and Lily Potter had a secret, one which led to Thanatos saving young Harry from a dreary life with the Dursleys and changed the face of the Second British Wizarding War before it ever began.
This story feels much more like a 12 season television show than a two hour movie if you know what I mean. The plot is pretty slow going but the character development and interation makes it worth it. The story blends the lore and events of the HP and PJO to make a completely new story without making it feel like a goddamn recap. The reader follows Harry from when he’s young all the way into adulthood and it’s a fun time to watch him grow as a character and bond with his parental figures. Also some of the spinoffs are really wild and I never would have thought of the pairings but they just work somehow?? My personal favorite spinoff is the Pirates of Caribbean/Calypso and Leo arc like HELLO?! hot pirates. The total word count of the two series is 465k so beware it takes a hot second to chug through this one.
This Worship of an Extinct Fire by Lomonaaeren
Oneshot, 30k Words, Draco/Harry, M Rating
TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Emotional and Physical Abuse, Deppression
Unspeakable Draco Malfoy has planned for nearly six months how to take down Thomas Linwood, a man who has discovered the secret of converting wizard bodies to pure magic. He was prepared for anything--except the discovery of the missing Harry Potter in Linwood's compound.
This one, I don’t know how it’s not considered a classic. I’ve seen it floating around on drarry tumblr and wow is it good. I especially like the detailed magic system and mechanics that Draco is investigating. How the author managed to have so much detailed and gracefully planned out backstory in 30k words is beyond me. Also gentle Dracoo Malfoy is my favorite Draco Malfoy :) absolute angel mode.
Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by LLAP15 and Writcraft
Oneshot, 66k Words, Draco/Harry, Past Sirius/James, E Rating
TW: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light D/s Dynamics, References to Cancer, References to HIV/AIDS
Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.
This fic is, in every sense, a masterpiece. Especially for pride month, the story surrounding LGBTQIA+ activism, the AIDS Epidemic of the 80s, and the gentrification of historically queer communities is one that should be read by everyone. Every single place, OC, and historic event has real world ties and is historically accurate, making this fic even more enchanting. Everything about this fic is graceful and slow burning I can’t help but fall in love with it. I’ve only seen this fic once on HP tumblr, but I feel like it should be considered a classic as it is truly a moving piece. This fic is one of the biggest reasons why I became so enthralled with LGBT history and am writing a fic that takes place in a wizarding version of the AIDS epidemic.
Sensitive Touch by Raserwolf
45 Chapters, 194k Words, Complete, Draco/Harry, E Rating
TW: Racism and Racial Slurs, Homophobic Slurs, Ablism and Ablist Slurs, Rape and Sexual Assault, Sensory Overloads and Mental Breakdowns, Extreme Bullying and Hate Crime, Past Abuse, Anxiety Disorders, PTSD wow this is a long list
When Draco Malfoy encounters a struggling and frustrated Harry desperately trying to tie his shoes after a meltdown in the Great Hall, his curiosity regarding the incident leads him to seek the help of the two people closest to Harry: Ron and Hermione.
After even they are shocked to hear the extent of Harry's issues, though Hermione had her suspicions, he discovers more about the man than he ever thought he knew before.
As a Neurotypical, I found this fic to be absolutely wonderful. I don’t know much about the typical traits of those who are one the autism spectrum and how they affect their everyday lives, but from what I was reading in the comments from those who are on the spectrum or who have family who are, this fic was pretty accurate and realistic. Harry, who lives with aspergers, goes without a known diagnosis until 8th year and it’s just heightened by his PTSD and anxiety and ugh I just want to hug the boy. The story follows Harry and Draco and the rest of the 8th year gang through the year and has multiple arcs in which the wizarding world are just dumbass bitches who can’t fucking seem to accept people for who they are. Not only is Harry on the spectrum but he’s also Desi with a purpose and not just mentioned and forgotten which is wonderful. The boys go through a lot of trauma in the story but there’s also a lot of teeth-rotting fluff that I live for. This is one of the fics that I have read and reread because I love it so much.
This definitely is not my full list I have a ton more stories in my bookmarks if you are curious. I’ll probably post a part two to this just cause I have so much and read so often. These, however, are definitely the biggest highlights.
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loquaciousquark · 5 years ago
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a coupla recs
HEY so I’ve been meaning to make this post for a minute, and it just hasn’t happened but TODAY IT DOES. There’s some amazing Fenris/Hawke fic being written RIGHT NOW and while it’s not exactly one of my old big rec posts, I still feel like these people should be getting some props for how good this stuff is.
Fallout From The Fade, by JadeLavellan (@songofsaraneth​ here on tumblr)
Y’all, this fic is one of my favorites in the DA2 fandom. Ever. It is beautiful and extraordinary and excruciating and in many ways like trying to recommend a razor-sharp knife, but every word is so, so worth it. I’ve been following this fic for years and while it’s still definitely in the “all is pain” stage of the story, there’s plenty of moments of hope and relief and even occasionally joy to offset it. More importantly, there’s some glimpses of a possible solution in the latest chapter that have me clutching my hands to my chest just like a kid at Christmas.
It tells the story of a Hawke who’s made it out of the Fade--at a cost that’s slowly killing her post-rescue. Fenris has a major role in the story (in fact, I’d say he’s as vital as Hawke herself), and this piece does a wonderful, painful job of showcasing his loyalty. It’s one of my favorite aspects of Fenris’s personality, and this is basically a masterclass in his characterization through a living nightmare. However, there’s tons of small moments full of romance, lightheartedness, and even laughter that highlight and underline the sheer rock-solid strength of the relationship between these two.
Plus, as an Inquisition-era piece, there are tons of cameos and featured players from all of the Inquisition crew, especially Varric & Dorian. If you want a a fic that will rip your heart out and put it back together again, surrounded impeccable characterization, glorious prose, and a story with high stakes, this is the piece for you. Plus, she just updated with a Brand! New! Chapter! after a long hiatus, which longfic authors know is always scary, so please go give her some love and appreciation on this new amazing chapter!
A Lesson in Drowning, by @theherocomplex
Do you like eldritch horror? Do you like wondering whether or not the main character is slightly mad? Do you like extensive hurt/comfort? Do you like Fenris being a total bamf and also providing unquestioning support throughout the entire process, both before and after certain mysteries are revealed? If so, is this the fic for you!
This is a DA2-era piece that unfolds very, very slowly, and involves a cult (kind of), a couple of seriously insane (and awesome) bad guys, an eldritch horror (see above), a mysteriously ill child, and a secret of Kirkwall’s that may destroy everything within its walls.
Orsino also features heavily in this fic in a way I haven’t seen him used before, and it’s a great exploration of his character both on his own and in relation to Hawke. Hawke herself is spectacular, one of my favorite Hawkes ever, and her relationship with her growing desperation and how she learns to depend on Fenris throughout the impending (possible) madness is a beautiful study on what it means to trust someone.
This is a great, beautiful, thoughtfully written fic that been a labor of love for theherocomplex over many years. It’s still ongoing & she sometimes posts WIP snippets on her tumblr, so it’s very much still actively being worked on. Enjoy, carefully! <3
(has an amazing piano soundtrack by @bettydice​ here!)
The Far Shore, by @aban-asaara​
So this fic is pretty early in its posting schedule (four chapters currently posted), but I can already tell it’s going to be amazing. This is also a completed fic and will eventually have 39 chapters, so she’s posting weekly at the moment as each chapter is ready to go.
This is something aban-asaara has been working on for years, and the labor of love that has gone into it definitely shows. It explores (or will explore) Rivain, as well as the interconnectivity of Isabela, Fenris, and Hawke, and the importance of their relationships to each other. There’s an epilogue of sorts already posted (Song of a Seashell) so we know how it ends, but getting there is promising to be an exciting, tumultuous journey that I can’t wait to see unfold.
The best thing about this is the exploration of a completely different culture; aban-asaara’s prose has always been luxurious and graceful, and the Rivain backdrop gives it a chance to truly shine. The characterization, as always, is pristine, and her Hawke is a charmer.
However, if you can’t wait, aban-asaara has tons of other Fenris/Hawke fic already posted on her AO3, ready to be devoured. The Far Shore also has a piano accompaniment from @bettydice​, here!
I hope this provides some entertaining reading for your Christmas break! <3<3<3
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27emailsicantsend · 5 years ago
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New Year’s Eve: A Rina Fic
Author’s Note: I thought it would be fun to make this a continuation off of my Christmas Eve Rina fic. So, if you haven’t read it, you can find it here. However, this can be read on it’s own too and still mostly make sense. Enjoy! ❤
“So... you gonna kiss him tonight or what?” Ashlyn elbowed Gina.
Gina rolled her eyes with a half-cackle. “You guyssss. For the millionth time, when it’s supposed to happen it’ll happen”.
“But it’s New Years Eve, Gina,” Nini encouraged. “You missed your opportunity under the mistletoe by a long shot”.
Gina gave Nini a side eye. “Nini, you were literally there and had just broken up with him. Besides, you know we didn’t have a mistletoe... money...”
“We could of made one,” Nini huffed under her breath.
Gina couldn’t help but giggle. Gina thought it would have been weirder than it was to go after Ricky after he and Nini broke up, but she and Nini had some really good talks after Christmas Eve. Ones where Nini elaborated that she only ever really liked Ricky as a way to hold onto her past. Seeing him still pine after Gina made her realize he was moving on and so should she. There was going to be someone that kept up with her dreams eventually, but she was focused on this potential new school in Denver and she liked seeing Gina happy. Nini encouraging them to date felt fun, girly, and natural- a comforting feeling Gina hadn’t had until now. She actually had friends; real friends that didn’t make her feel like she was invisible or forgotten once she moved. She was home.
“When it’s the right time, we’ll know. Besides, a New Year’s Eve kiss? Do you really want me to be that cliché?” Gina scrunched her face at Nini, Ashlyn, Kourtney, and Carlos who were overly invested in her love life as they made their way to the bus. The drama department did a fundraiser during High School Musical so the students could pay to go somewhere fun New Years Eve as a celebration for the play. The fundraiser made a lot of money due to the generous contributions of parents and a lot of begging.
The bus still had a crisp, chilly feeling from sitting over night in the Utah winter air. The smell of leather hit the students noses when they boarded and took their seats. Gina sat in a seat behind Nini and Kourtney, next to Seb and Carlos, with the other seats surrounding filled by other students from the show. She looked out the fogged window to the nearly empty parking lot as the bus quietly hummed. Gina took out her finger and traced her initials and a small snowflake on the glass.
Just as she was finishing her last stem on the snow flake, a tired voice jump-scared her. “Can I sit here?”
“Oh.. uh..uhm.. yeah.. that’s totally fine. Let me.. let me just see where I can put this...” Gina stammered as she clumsily grabbed her bag.
Ricky gave a tired smile as he fell into the seat by her. Nini and Kourtney exchanged glances and Big Red took a seat next to another stage hand. He turned around and gave a knowing smile and Gina pretended not to notice Ricky’s “cut-it-out” gestures to him.
“How’s your morning going?”
“Good. Just super tired. My mom came home late and I forgot to pack, so we were up doing that,” Gina replied. “How about you?”
“Same. I was trying to make this big breakfast this morning so I got up early to make it. But then I got a piece of toast stuck in the toaster. I got worried it would set our fire alarm off, so I had to run and find a towel to whip the smoke out, but I couldn’t find any that weren’t wet in the washer. So then I called Red...” Gina pretended to nod along to Ricky’s “Breakfast Adventures”, but she couldn’t help but notice, Ricky was wearing the hat she made him. She hadn’t really seen him wear it a ton, but he looked cozy in it. She refrained from smiling too much as she pretended to listen. Good thing she brought the scarf he made her- it was her bag, however.
The bus ride wasn’t super long, about an hour and a half. The front of the bus was mostly adults and students trying to sleep, with one or two in the back sleeping as well. Gina’s area of students was anything but quiet, however. The adrenaline of being with all of their friends, preparing for a super fun over night trip was beyond exciting to them. They cracked jokes, watched internet videos, sang “Bet On It” as badly as they could, and showed weird talents they had with their bodies (Ricky could wiggle his ears and Nini was double jointed in all of her fingers).
The bus finally arrived to a beautiful ski lodge nestled on a slope in the mountains. Fairy lights and snow draped the scenery. Pine trees scattered the winter wonderland with a beautiful blue ski canvasing the background. The snow was fresh with minimal footprints; icicles hanging from every part of the wooden rooftop.
The students walked in awe as they made their way up the slippery walk way, holding tightly to the railing on the iced over steps. Seb was the only one to really slip on the steps, but Carlos caught him before he completely landed. Gina and Ricky walked in slowly, taking in the sight inside.
The giant main doors opened up to a large foyer, with a grand double stair case sweeping in from either side. To the left, a large rock and marble kitchen plus dining room and to the right, a common area with a ping pong table, fireplace, large cozy couches and lazy-man chairs, and pull down projector screen.
A man about in his sixties wearing a plaid tucked in shirt, high-waisted pants, and clunky brown boots approached the foyer and faced the visitors. “Hi everyone! Welcome to my ski resort. I’m the owner, Mr. Tomas. I am so happy to have you here. There’s not much to know... let’s see...We left fresh towels in the bathrooms and any of the food in the fridge is yours to eat. Please don’t break anything and clean up after yourselves... I think those are all the basis, right?”
Miss Jenn gave an acknowledging giggle to Mr. Thomas.
“Oh, wait! One more thing. If you use any of the gaming stuff downstairs, please be sure to wind the cords back. It protects them from getting tangled, torn, etcetera.”
Down stairs? Gina hadn’t even noticed a downstairs. Mr. Thomas released everyone to start their vacation. While all of the students ran upstairs to claim beds, Gina walked through the common room and peered around the corned. In the back of the house, behind and under the stair case rested two wooden doors leading downstairs.
Gina opened the door and looked around to see if anyone else was around. She secretly hoped not, because she liked the idea of getting to see everything first hand. It was the only part she looked forward to with each move- getting to snoop around the house and find it’s hidden gems before anyone else did.
When the coast was clear, she flicked on the stair light and quietly closed the door. She held onto the railing as she made her way down the newly carpeted stairs. The bottom of the stairs opened up to a giant finished basement. It felt warm and cozy, like the rest of the house, but playful because of the many interesting things it held.
The room opened up to a large karaoke machine on a small platform. It had mini lyric screens on podiums and two microphone connected neatly to the podium. On one wall were about twenty shadow boxes, all with different game boards in them. The pieces most likely hidden in the back of the frames. On the other wall, a nook cut out in the middle of it, cushioned floor to ceiling with fairy lights, pillows, and blankets (which Gina claimed in her head before anyone else could). Gina noticed other things like a mini kitchenette, a large leather couch, a couple of bean bag chairs, and an air hockey machine. The entire room felt like an opulent version of Red’s bedroom or her house, but Gina wasn’t complaining. 
She quickly made her way back up the stairs, assuming all of the beds had been claimed. About half of the students were in the commons, a quarter playing outside in the snow, and the other quarter most likely upstairs in the bedrooms. Gina grabbed her suitcase from the staircase and went up the landing. There were two doors in front of her, another to her left and another to her right. The ones on the left were labeled “Boys” and the ones on the right “Girls”. She opened up the “Girls” door in front of her and was welcomed to a large marble bathroom. It had a long narrow walkway with stalls and sinks, and at the end 3 showers only closed off with curtains. Just like Mr. Thomas said there was a tall shelving system filled to the brim with fresh, white towels.
She left the bathroom and went to the other room labeled “Girls”. It opened up to several rows of bunk-beds and large dressers opposite them. Every bed had items on it except one bottom bunk in the back corner. Gina rolled her heavy suitcase to it’s rightful place and took a seat on her bed.
Whilst admiring her surroundings, she decided to pull out the scarf from her case and maybe go hang out with the other students outside. She grabbed the bright orange and yellow speckled piece of fabric and wrapped it around her neck.
“I don’t understand how you can make such an ugly thing look so beautiful”. Gina jumped to the sound of Ricky’s voice. Thankfully, the bunk was high enough she didn’t hit her head.
Blushing, she stood up quickly, eyes wide. “You scared me! Don’t do that!” Gina playfully shoved Ricky, as he giggled it off.
“I was just coming up to tell you dinner will be ready soon. Mr. Thomas ordered catering for tonight so we wouldn’t have to cook”. Ricky focused in on Gina’s eye contact more as he continued to grin profusely. “I really love this place”.
“What’s for dinner?” Gina asked as Ricky took a small step closer. “I really hope it’s like chicken...,” another step so their faces were about three inches apart, “or rice...or...” Ricky leaned in as Gina closed her eyes, letting her words drift. Their lips were breathing on each other when Red flung the door open.
“DINNER IS READY GUYS!” Both Gina and Ricky jumped back. Gina began to nervously straighten out her clothes, as Ricky grinned-obviously annoyed- and said through his teeth, “we’re coming”.
Big Red was either really good at acting or completely oblivious because he perkily said, “great! See you down there. I’ll save you a seat buddy!” And left with a spirited wink to Ricky.
Ricky flapped his arms out uncomfortably as he said, “well, guess we better go down”.
And Gina awkwardly agreed with an awkward thumb point to the doorway. “Guess so!”
They both ran down the stairs to the dining room. The table looked completely different from when Gina first saw it. The caterers worked fast. There were candles lit, satin napkins wrapping new silverware and tied with twine, and 3 large white plates with gold engravings stacked biggest to smallest. A white crocheted runner went down the table and large plates of food and wine glasses filled with water lined it. Everyone else seemed comfortable in their places, including Red who- as promised- had an empty seat next to him waiting for Ricky. But Gina couldn’t feel as at home with everything. She had never been to anything this fancy in her life. Ricky sat down quickly by Red as Gina walked shyly to the spot between Ashlyn and Carlos near the other end of the table- definitely out of speaking distance of Ricky.
The gang warmly greeted her as she sat down. Miss Jenn stood up and gave a nice toast, thanking everyone for their hard work in the play and encouraged everyone to “dig in”. The table became restless with people filling their plates as quickly as possible, dishes clattering and Seb taking way too many rolls. Once everyone settled down and got their food, the crowd chatted and ate to their heart’s content. Gina hadn’t noticed, but Ricky had looked at her about five times throughout the entire dinner. Red had, though.
“Ricky, dude, just enjoy the meal. You can kiss her later,” Red interrupted his fifth stare.
“Uh.. um.. what? No. I’m not gonna kiss her,” Ricky said defensively.
“We all know you want to know,” Red said as he dropped his voice.
“So what if I do?”
“Just eat your food. It’s New Years Eve. You’ll have the perfect opportunity tonight,” Red said as he scooped some more green beans on a plate.
Ricky stared at Gina again. He couldn’t help but feel like that was wrong... almost out of place for their relationship. If anything, they’ve been all but predictable. Even when he first began to like her, it came after a night of her bickering with EJ and Ricky saying something he honestly regrets now. Their first kiss shouldn’t be pressured.
Once the meal was finished, Ricky and the other boys washed the dishes while the girls gathered them from the table and brought them to the sink. The dishes were Mr. Thomas’, so the caterer’s were long gone by now. Seb and Carlos began play dancing in the kitchen, and soon Ashlyn and Red joined. Nini changed the song on the speaker to “Born to Be Brave” and soon the whole cast was dancing with each other. Gina was grabbing random people and being spun or doing funny dance moves with them. By the end of the second song most of the cast had left and by the time it got to the third it was just Seb, Carlos, Ricky, and Gina talking. Seb and Carlos decided to go join everyone else downstairs, but Ricky and Gina remained in the middle of the kitchen.
Nini’s phone changed to “Can I Have This Dance?” from High School Musical 3. Without hesitation, Ricky walked up close to Gina. She was still wearing his scarf, which he grabbed with a singled hand and quietly unwrapped it off her neck. He took a side step as he tossed it to the counter. Then he held out his hand as Gabriella sang, “take my hand”, singing along with her. Ricky pulled Gina in close, her hand in a fist on his chest, head nestled into his neck, as they swayed while he sang softly in her ear.
When the music ended, Gina pulled back and made eye contact with Ricky. Their faces close, slowly leaning in. Their moment got cut off, yet again, by yelling in the common room- which connected through the back to the kitchen- so there was no privacy. They both giggled while still holding onto each other. Gina pounded Ricky’s chest lightly with her fist and said, “let’s go downstairs”. Ricky agreed (with some resistance in his voice) as she grabbed his hand to lead him downstairs where the rest of the cast was. All of them were spread out on chairs talking, playing games, and EJ trying to set up the karaoke machine.
Gina walked over to assist EJ while Ricky played air hockey with Kourtney. The cast spent the night playing games and singing horribly to their favorite High School Musical songs. They drank a ton of soda, took cute candid photos, and laughed until they hurt.
Red took his phone out for the New York countdown and all of them watched the small screen giddily. They all held their small champagne glasses filled with cider as they watched with anticipation. 
“Five... Four... Three... Two... One... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!” The gang cheered and hollered. Glasses clinked and shouts filled the room. Seb and Carlos gave each other a big kiss, Red cut between Gina and Ricky hugging to give him a giant hug, and everyone else gave hugs and high fives. Ricky and Gina looked quietly at each other while everyone continued to chatter in the background. Gina gave Ricky a small smile because he knew. He knew that it wasn’t the right time. He gave her a small peck on the cheek, which was returned with their beaming faces. 
At the end of the night, once everyone had settled down and finally went to bed, Gina was cleaning up the wires to the karaoke machine when EJ walked over to her. “Hey, thanks for helping me set up that machine”.
“It was no problem,” Gina said as she put a microphone in it’s stand.
“Honestly, thanks for helping me with a lot of things”.
Gina stopped and crinkled her nose suspiciously. She turned around and stood up so she was facing him now. “What do you mean?”
“I just mean, when you gave me Nini’s phone. Like we shouldn’t have taken it, but you really came in clutch for me. And trying to help me at homecoming get Troy and Gabriella’s parts, by making Nini jealous so she’d drop out. It was clever and I didn’t realize it at the time. I know we never got the parts, but I also never thanked you for trying to help me. I’m just sorry things didn’t work out for either of us”.
“EJ... we weren’t being good people doing that. Don’t you understand? It was wrong and we can’t tell anyone. Not Nini, not Ricky. Nobody. I’m trying to get a clean slate and I thought you were too”.
“Yeah, the confessionals thing didn’t really work...” EJ said, rubbing his neck.
“Look, it was all wrong. Nini and I made up and she is finally starting to trust you again. I say we just leave it in the past where it belongs”.
“I know. I just wanted to thank you for having my back- that’s all”. EJ said, definitely irritated.
“I can’t believe you two.” Gina and EJ flipped around. They hadn’t noticed the light on in the downstairs bathroom. Ricky stood puzzled.
“Ricky, it’s not what you think!” Gina said trying to grab his arm. He shook her off.
“Dude, you’re overreacting. It happened forever ago,” EJ defended.
“Not. Helping.” Gina glared at him.
“No, what happened is, you led me on. You created a bunch of drama and then tried to get with me so Nini would drop out! Not ok, Gina!” Ricky’s voice was raising and Gina hated hearing him so upset, especially with her.
“I wasn’t thinking, but I meant what I said that night!” Ricky began to go to the stairs. “Ricky, you’ve got to believe me!” Gina begged.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Ricky scolded as he ran up the stairs.
“Gina, I’m so sorry,” EJ pleaded.
“Leave me alone, EJ,” Gina snapped. She followed in Ricky’s footsteps, going up the stairs to her room.
The rest of the night seemed to drag on. The girls stayed up talking and giggling, so Gina decided to take a shower to make some time pass until they fell asleep. Then she crawled into bed and listened to some music. The good news was that she was able to just fake a headache and since her bed was in a corner, she could actively avoid everyone for the rest of the night.
All of the other girls eventually went to sleep, but Gina tossed and turned. How could EJ say that? Wasn’t it all in the past? And why didn’t she see the bathroom light on or not hear noise from there? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. She didn’t actually have a plan. EJ didn’t know that, but he should have figured it out. And when the plan failed, she was happy to have someone empathize with her. Make her feel better. Ricky did that. He made her not care what role she had, because he seemed to not care about his. She blinked some leftover tears away and sat up.
Gina knew that it was pointless to try and sleep by now since it was about 4AM, so she got up and snuck back downstairs to the basement. When she reached the door, she noticed the light was still on. It must have been left on after the party. She tip toed down the stairs and noticed Ricky sitting in the nook, glumly fiddling with her scarf.
“Is that spot taken?” Gina asked as she approached him cautiously.
He patted the area next to him. “All yours”.
Gina sat down, but because of where Ricky was sitting in the nook, she ended up slightly sitting on top of him. They awkwardly adjusted until they were sitting opposite each other, scarf in Ricky’s hands, a pillow in Gina’s.
“I’m really sorry, Ricky. To be honest, I was mad about Nini getting the part,” Gina closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She refused to make eye contact with Ricky as she continued to talk, for fear she would cry. “It’s not normal for someone my age to get worked up over a part. It’s not normal to treat people like that for a lead in a high school play that might look good on a resume, but not to a dance school. I didn’t just want to be Gabriella... I had to be. Moving isn’t the only hard part of my home life. My mom puts a ton of pressure on me to be the best in any production. She thinks that if I make it big, the money will get us out of debt and we won’t have to keep moving. I’ve actually been looked at by professional scouts... like real professionals, but they always say ‘not yet’ or ‘you’re almost there’... ‘if you just do one more play you’ll make it big,” Gina said with mocking jazz hands.
“But I can’t tell you how sick I am of hearing the phrase ‘one more play’, ‘one more dance’... ‘keep practicing, you’ll get there’...” Gina began to choke up.
Ricky lightly put his hand on hers as he continued to listen. Gina finally made eye contact, her water-filled eyes glistening. “I don’t want to get there. It’s not my job to get there. I’m the kid! This should be fun!”
Ricky finally spoke. “Is there any part of it you do enjoy?”
Gina wiped a tear that finally broke with her free hand. “Yes. All of it. I love acting, and singing, and dancing- oh, especially dancing. I want to get into Julliard. But with the amount of pressure I get from my mom... I’m scared it’s going to get worse... or Julliard will put that pressure there for her. I just can’t win”.
Ricky thought carefully before he spoke again. “Gina, you are a great performer, but you’re an even better person. I can see you face a lot of pressure at home, but you can take down that wall with us. You didn’t have to do anything to impress me... or anyone else for that matter. You’re already remarkable, with or without your dance shoes”.
Gina smiled. “Really?”
Ricky gave her a sweet smile back. “Really.”
Gina sighed again, “I already said this, but I honestly am sorry. The way my mom treats me is no excuse for how I acted it. I shouldn’t have done it, regardless. But I meant what I said at the skate park. I meant what I said in the car. You’re one of a kind, Ricky Bowen”.
“Thanks. I appreciate it”.
Gina still felt a little tense. “Are we good?”
“We’re good”.
For some reason that was all Ricky needed to say to make the situation better. Everything felt normal again... well, aside from EJ, but she was going to deal with him later. For now, she just wanted to enjoy this time with Ricky.
The room filled with silence for a minute, until Gina broke it. “Umm... Ricky?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you have my scarf?” Gina giggled.
He smiled to himself and fiddled it again. “Someone left it on the kitchen counter”. He reached over and swirled it back around her neck. “Looks better on you, anyway”.
Gina gave him a soft grin. He laid back and she curled up next to him, her head on his chest. She listened to the gentle rhythm of his heart and his slow-paced breathing as they drifted off to sleep.
Gina woke up to someone closing the bathroom door downstairs. She sat up from the nook- Ricky had already left. She wondered if it was him who was in the bathroom and how long they had been sleeping. But then a figure emerged in the doorway which caused her to sit straight up: EJ.
He dodged his eyes from her blatant staring as he headed to the stairs. Gina closed her eyes, taking another breath, ready to fix the rest of the damage caused from last night.
“EJ, wait”.
Ej stopped abruptly on the stairs, still holding onto the railing. He slowly turned around and looked at her cooly. “What?” he asked, his tone laced with irritation.
“Look, I’m not going to apologize for what I said last night. What we did was wrong and we need to work for what we want the right way. You need to talk to Nini or find someone new and I need to just practice more for my audition next semester. But I am sorry I dumped that drink on you, yelled at you, and bailed on you when you asked for my help. I overreacted and I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me”. Yes I did, Gina thought, but she continued her apology anyway. “But it wasn’t ok. I should have helped you talk to her or practiced lines with you. There were better ways we could have handled that”.
“For sure,” EJ agreed. Gina sat back, taken back by what he said.
“And I’m sorry too,” EJ continued. “I really am trying to turn a new leaf, but maybe I wouldn’t have to if I would just make the right choices the first time. It’s just that I’ve always gotten everything I wanted. The girl, the grades, the positions on teams- when Nini left... it just seemed like, I don’t know, I wasn’t cool anymore? I wasn’t this great person, because I got dumped. And then I didn’t get to play Troy. It was like I was a fraud and my world I had known came crumbling down. I probably sound like the biggest, self-centered dirtbag for saying that, but I just feel so much pressure to be the person other’s want me to be, you know?”
“EJ, I get exactly what you mean,” Gina reassured. “And I appreciate your apology. But you and I both need to learn that it’s who we are that makes us happy. And none of our friends are judging us. As long as we’re good with who we are, then those who are good with us too will surround us. In turn, it will push out the fakes”.
EJ blinked a few times in shock. “Dang, Gina. That’s pretty deep. Who taught you that?”
Gina grinned, “someone really wise last night”.
Just then the smell of eggs, bacon, sausage, and hot chocolate filled the basement. It smelled heavenly. Gina sighed gleefully as it filled her nose. “That smells wonderful. Want to go get some breakfast?”
“Sure!” Ej replied.
“By the way, what were you doing down here?”
“My hair needs space and caution to get it just right. It couldn’t breathe being suffocated in that small bathroom with all of those dudes. And what about you?! What were you doing down here?”
Gina rolled her eyes playfully. “Don’t ask”.
Gina ran upstairs and quickly got dressed, making sure to brush her teeth and touch up her makeup. When she got back to the kitchen all of the cast was either sitting at the table, on the counters, or standing around and talking- plates in their hands and music playing again. A hand wrapped around Gina’s waist and she felt a quick peck on her cheek from Ricky, taking her completely by surprise.
“Good morning, Miss Gina. There’s breakfast and a seat next to me waiting at the table for you. Not the one on the left though, that’s Red’s”. Gina giggled to herself as she went to the kitchen counters and filled up her plate with breakfast foods assorted in giant metal containers, like the ones at hotels.
The rest of the morning was spent with more kitchen dancing, pictures, games, and sledding. Gina and Ricky shared a sled and crashed a few times. They ended up breaking out in a snowball fight and building a really unsteady snowman that caved in right after they took one slightly blurry photo with it.
When it was time to leave, the cast got on the bus and sat in their same spots on the way home (Red almost stole Gina’s seat though, but Ashlyn convinced him to sit next to her, so Gina still got to sit next to Ricky). The ride back felt similar to the ride there with snoring coming from the front of the bus, the gang playing games on their phones, and Gina tying the strings on Ricky’s hat to take funny photo’s of him.
When they finally got back to East High (where their parents could pick them up or their cars were parked), everyone gave each other big hugs and wished them a good next few days of break. There was loud laughter and singing as everyone parted ways. Gina’s mom came to get her, so she was waiting at the end of the parking lot for her to come. 
Ricky walked up to Gina and gently bumped his body into her side, “are you sure you don’t want a ride? It’s not too much of a hassle for me”.
Gina gave Ricky a silly look at his obvious sarcasm. “No, I don’t need a ride. My mom is coming”.
Ricky giggled and gave her a hug. “Good bye, Gina. See you, Monday”.
Gina smiled politely at him. “Goodbye, Ricky”. She wiggled her fingers good bye as he walked quickly to his car.
“Gina! Look at this!” Ashlyn called out. Ashlyn, Carlos, and Seb had made an igloo on the school yards that was supposed to resemble East High. Gina wouldn’t have known that from the structure, but one of them carved “EHHS” on the front, so she got the idea. Almost as soon as she had turned around she felt a hand on her arm. It flipped her around.
“Ricky! What are-”
Ricky cut her off. “I forgot something”.
He crashed his lips into hers. It hurt a little, but as she eased into it, the kiss became soft and warm. He picked her up in his arms and spun her around as they continued to kiss. He put her back down when their face broke apart and then he walked away with a goofy, clumsy grin as he said, “uhmm.. good bye, Gina. See you next week!... I guess!”
Gina laughed quietly as she said, “Yeah, see you next week,” and watched Ricky continue to walk off as she bit her lip and smiled. She looked down at her scarf, beaming. This was her Best New Year’s ever. She began to wonder what the other holiday’s would bring...
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fire-fira · 5 years ago
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Some headcanons for the Dark Turtles and Cody
(borrowing the names for the clone turtles from @onthespectrumwriting‘s fic [Progress], because hell yes).
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So, Dark Leo = Len, Dark Raph = Ray, Dark Don = Tello, and Dark Mike = Angelo. (And because this is long as heck, a large chunk of it is under the cut.)
After the original turtles and Splinter went back to their time and things had settled down, everything hit Cody like a ton of bricks. He finally had time to process. He went from “Everything is fine, they’re back home, it’s all great, and it’s only a matter of time before Darius is caught— but now that I know what he’s really like I know to be on the watch and I’m great” to “…Everything is not fine.” - Everything was the opposite of ‘fine’. - Did Cody develop a huge case of paranoia? Maybe, but it wasn’t entirely unjustified. - Then there was the fact that the clone turtles were out there, and they’d been put through worse than he had. - Cue Cody suddenly worrying that the clone turtles were going to wind up killed, and him developing a gradually increasing conviction that he needed to get them away from Darius. - Which also brought up the question of where they could go if he got them out and kept them out of the hands of the authorities. - Cue Cody nearly giving Serling the robot equivalent of a heart attack when he up and decided that if he got the chance he’d invite the clone turtles to move in with him. - Serling was not pleased with this. AT ALL. - When Darius and the clone turtles got caught, that’s when the first hints of Cody’s vicious side started showing up. (He was ready to actually bust into the place where the clone turtles were being kept in order to get them out if they weren’t released to him.) - Yes, Cody was seriously contemplating breaking into a prison and making a jailbreak if he couldn’t get the legal system to cooperate. - Fortunately he managed to get the legal system to work with him after Darius’s trial, even if it took a threat or two and pointing out that the clone turtles were kids and that keeping them imprisoned was child abuse. - Cody Augustus Jones does not play around where his little brothers’ freedom and safety is concerned.
In the course of taking them in, Cody adopted the clone turtles as his little brothers and wound up naming them (since Darius is an ass and couldn’t be bothered). - The fact that Cody adopted them horrified Serling. - The fact that they adopted Cody right back almost horrified Serling worse. - Serling gradually got over it once he was finally convinced that none of them were going to kill Cody. And accepted the fact that Cody was helping them become more functional and less violent. - Serling still doesn’t appreciate the random instances of things accidentally getting broken, or the kitchen getting turned into a wreck due to the boys not yet knowing how to cook (or decently work the stove). - Serling has temporarily banned the clone turtles from touching the stove at least once due to an incident where it somehow caught fire. (It’s a work in progress.)
All five of them have massive trauma and various triggers that can easily be tripped, but they all are making painstaking efforts to be better and help each other be better. (It’s not always easy, but they do better together than they do apart.) - By mutual agreement there are words that DO NOT get said to avoid having buttons pushed. - They also do their best not to startle each other or move fast in the periphery of each other’s vision without forewarning. (There have been several close calls where one of the five of them almost got seriously hurt because of incidents like this. In one Angelo stopped himself just before his claws would have met Cody’s face. It took several hours to calm him down and for Cody to convince him that he wasn’t mad at him.) - Cody usually tends to act as the mediator and gets the others to talk things out after a blow up. Over time Ray starts picking up the habit (when he’s the calm one in the situation) and starts gently ‘feelings policing’ the others to nudge them into thinking things out over whether or not they’re being fair. - Nightmares have a way of resulting in Cody getting glommed onto.
All four of the turtles have physical problems because they were speed-grown, to different levels of severity. - Len had his left eye removed and completely replaced before he and the others were woken up for the first time because that eye was blind; the metal bands on his scalp are part of the structure keeping his cybernetic eye and its housing securely attached to his skull. With his cybernetic eye he can see normal wavelengths of light, infrared, and night-vision, and he can switch among the three at will; but because of one of the fights with Leo an internal part is prone to sliding out of place and causing the vision in that eye to glitch. He is very twitchy about having his cybernetic eye opened and worked on, and is extremely leery of the idea of possibly having to go through surgery to get it fixed. His knees and ankles are mildly iffy at him without support, but the main issue for his legs is blood flow; his ‘pants’/stabilizers add just enough pressure to improve it so it’s almost not an issue. Without, his feet get cold fast. The bones of his left forearm are prone to shifting out of place without the sleeve-stabilizer (which can wreak havoc on his elbow and wrist), so he rarely takes that one off. (The armor on his left shoulder is there to compensate just in case that arm does have issues even with the stabilizers, so that way he’s not entirely defenseless on that side.) - Ray’s knees don’t like him, but he can get by with mild support for them; however his left ankle and right hip are both heavily prone to slipping out of place without his stabilizers (which is really not a good thing since he’s walking on the balls of his feet and is carrying around so much weight). His right shoulder, elbow, wrist, and ribs all have issues and easily dislocate, but the sleeve and rib stabilizers keep things in place. (Also, while the series doesn’t show him taking off his gloves, the ‘talons’ on those gloves are protective metal sheathes for the talons/secondary ‘thumbs’ he has underneath.) -Tello has a weak neck and a jaw that would easily pop out of place without the metal pieces fused to his cheekbones to provide guidance and support. Without his leg stabilizers his ankles are iffy, but his knees absolutely hate him; he will not risk trying to stand or walk anywhere without his leg stabilizers unless he has absolutely no other choice. Like the strips of metal attached to Len’s head, the metal stabilizers on Tello’s ribs can’t be removed (at least not without surgery)— but since they keep his ribs from moving in ways they’re not supposed to, he has zero complaints about keeping them. The stabilizing sleeve for his tail isn’t entirely necessary but acts as armor and shock absorption and decreases the chances that he’ll wrench any of the vertebrae of his tail out of place in a fight. He’s also nearsighted and needs glasses (though he won’t wear them in a fight or during sparring sessions, because he doesn’t want them getting broken). - Angelo’s left knee was bad enough that he has two stabilizing metal strips anchored into the bone to keep his knee moving correctly. His right knee, ankle, and foot are all prone to having the bones shift without his stabilizer, but it’s at a mild level compared to the state his left knee was in. The rest of what he wears is purely armor, so in one sense he came out the least ‘messed up’ of the four, but he’s also the only one with visible ports embedded in his neck (which he has to make sure stay clean or risk possible infection—fortunately he has a good immune system).
Len is a grumpy child who largely wants peace and quiet while being surrounded by his garden. He’s also a snarky hothead who’s full of sass and is really not good at putting on a polite public face. While Cody tries to make sure none of his little brothers ever have to deal with the media, Len is the one who is ‘forbidden’ by his brothers from saying more than a word or two in a single sitting to any media or public figure. (He’s good with his family and when it comes to being honest, but most of the time he doesn’t see the point in public social niceties and that’s something that could easily get him into trouble.) Any mention of the scorpion story puts him in a bad mood that can last as long as a day, and sometimes even longer. The same can be said for him getting called ‘Fearless’ (yes, Len getting called that has been privately banned within the family). He has also been dubbed one of the two members of ‘The Grumpy Brigade’ by Angelo.
Tello is also full of snark and sass, but with a flavor of Science!™, and has a much better public face than Len. When he wants to, Tello can be downright charming and come off as just a pleasantly sociable tech nerd— which means he’s ready and willing to lie through his teeth to increase the chances that his family will just be left alone (and he is not afraid to leverage that pleasant façade to explain away the various explosions he and Cody are at fault for). There are two things that, if he is deprived of, will provoke him to cause absolute hell: his glasses and his coffee. Like Donnie, once he picked up the habit of coffee, he doesn’t do well without it. Unlike Donnie, if he goes too long without his glasses, he starts giving himself migraines due to trying too hard to bring the world into focus. He’s the second member of ‘The Grumpy Brigade’, and one of two members of ‘The Mad Scientist Brigade’ (also a name Angelo came up with).
Angelo is the dramatic theater kid of the family (he really takes after Mikey that way) and is— in his own way— a bright ball of sunshine. He is also abnormally skilled at squeezing himself into spaces that he shouldn’t be able to fit into (none of his brothers know how he does it). He’s charming, he’s funny, and he’s usually ready with a quip or a way to casually mouth off without stepping on any toes. Where he and Mikey really differ is that while Mikey always wanted more friends and company, Angelo is much more cautious about getting close to others. He’s good at putting forward a bright and confident façade, but he doesn’t trust easily and is hesitant to be anything close to vulnerable around anyone outside his family. (He especially hates hearing cop sirens, because it forcefully reminds him of when he and the other three turtles got caught.) If anyone asks him, he’ll insist that he���s the cute one, but if he starts to feel like he’s getting too much attention he’s quick to come up with an excuse that’ll let him nudge Cody into the forefront so he can fade back.
Ray, despite his horrendous temper to start with, has become the voice of reason out of him and his brothers. Soon after Cody took him and the other three in, he became thoroughly aware of the fact that he could do some serious damage as the biggest and strongest of the brothers (to say nothing of the massive talons on his hands), and as a result he has worked his ass off to gain control of his temper and to be as gentle as he possibly can. He still has his moments and flares of temper, but he’s put in enough effort and work that sometimes he’s even more sensible than Cody (though Cody has his reasons for giving into his anger more). Through a lot of effort Ray has become gentle, thoughtful, quiet, and highly inter-personally intelligent. He’s become the sort of person to carefully think things through before he responds (when warranted) and has developed a habit of being deliberate when he speaks— though he tries to be honest when he’s at a loss and doesn’t have an answer for something. He’s a giant teddybear, a complete cuddlebug, and he loves curling up with all four of his brothers in a big pile whenever he gets the chance (though sometimes it’s still a little hard for him to bring himself to ask for it and affection in general). To the public he seems to have a shy disposition, but that’s because he prefers to hang back until he feels like he has a good enough grasp of a situation and the people involved. He’s not comfortable with large tightly-packed crowds or sterile rooms with a single door that’s locked. (Like Angelo, he did not take their confinement well.) Angelo has affectionately dubbed him ‘Sir Snugglesworth’.
Cody is the one who most people think is the responsible and reasonable one— and to be fair, he is up to a point. He’s also absolute hell-on-wheels to anyone who dares to threaten him or his little brothers. When the original turtles were in his home, Cody started out fairly subdued and sheltered, naïve to the trap he was living in. Over the course of finding out exactly the sort of person Darius was, what he’d done to him and his brothers, what he would have done, and the fact that there were people who wanted to keep his little brothers caged after everything was said and done, it isn’t all that surprising that he went from 0 to 60 quick. He has gradually shifted from stuffing down all expressions of anger like he used to, to carefully wielding his anger to maximum effect when he needs to; and because of this it’s led him to prove just how much he absolutely is April and Casey’s great-grandson (both in his careful use of tech in his bouts of moonlighting as a vigilante, and his growing fondness for explosives). Cody may be the smallest of the brothers, but he is protective of his brothers to the point that he will not hesitate to put himself between them and any threat that may come for them. He’s patient and gentle with them, softly leading the way and coaxing them into more fully becoming themselves. He doesn’t hesitate to be a source of comfort for them, and he doesn’t think twice about being the ‘older brother pillow’. (Because of this it’s become a regular thing for all five of them to crash in the living room on bad nights.) He’s also the most skilled at maintaining his perfectly polite, cheerful, and upstanding public façade for the media, and does his best to keep the attention to his brothers as minimal as possible. He’s the other member of ‘The Mad Scientist Brigade’, and Ray actively tries to forbid him from using exploding pucks (thanks to the limo incident). - Yes, Cody blew up an old limo with an exploding puck that had been packed with too much explosive force, resulting in raining shrapnel for several minutes. Yes, Tello is also technically at fault, because he and Cody worked together to design and test the exploding pucks in the first place. No, neither of them regret it (even though Ray took to calling them pyromaniacs afterward).
(Also posted on Ao3.)
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honestlyfrance · 4 years ago
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For the fun meta asks, 1, 2, 14, and 22? :D
1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?
Here's a list, riri:
Nobody's Game - It's an FBI AU, that's all I could say. It's very long and what I love about this is that I suddenly have morally corrupt!Sam in my hands and I don't know how it happened or what I do with him?? He has quite a personality and skill set and that's what I love about him. The writing style started out as basic, no prose, but then I suddenly turned poetic and I just need to smooth out the narration
To love a dying man - It's some sort of spinoff or revamp of my other fic, the sweetest tragedy, with all of the major plot points; since the former fic was done on the spot, I felt like I didn't give it enough justice; it's an artist!sam x astronomer!bucky AU. My research regarding the art aspect is done and I have a set of art pieces, books, and music I could use to write it! All I need now is to learn ASL grammar so I can write the dialogue properly, as this was a detail I always wanted to write but couldn't because it was so difficult for me (I'm already bilingual, two languages are hard!!). My favorite part here is the art because I've always loved it but never got too much research into it, same goes for ASL, always loved it, learned the basic alphabet but couldn't known more.
I got another ask coming in with the same number and I'll answer more there, but here are my main stuff for the next few months 😌
2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project
The samnat fic I'm soon doing is the only thing making me sane, probably 😂 I just love the aesthetic, like it's just an aesthetic but I have a whole plot surrounding it, conflicts and all that and I'm so excited to write it!
14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?
At the very start, if I don't have a title before I write it, I'll never have a title 😭😭 that's why I have WIP titles like "The Payphone and The Cellphone" and "The Motorcycle At The Brownstone Apartment." It's hard to title, so I'm very grateful for titles I made after I wrote the fic that came out better than it's supposed to be like "Find Me In San Francisco" which still wins my heart 💕
22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?
Uh, Yes! You've seen my Wattpad account, I still get tons of notifs due to the many works (20+) and chapters each has (longest is 69?), so it would be impossible if I haven't read them once or twice, but since the app plays ads as you read even if you're the writer, I don't anymore 😂 I'm proud of them but please don't read them, like, I feel like you're gonna question my fandom choices 😭 my readers say that they're pretty good and I still get PMs and comments about them and my heart goes !!! every time
send multiple meta writer asks and help keep me busy!
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sraawrats · 6 years ago
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🦇🎃Kana’s Halloween Hangover Rec List🎃🦇
Love Halloween? Not ready for it to be over? No worries! Old and new, these are some of my favorite spooky, suspenseful, and supernatural Kylux reads--perfect for drawing out your favorite month a little longer!
which is 100% why i’m posting this on november 1st, definitely not because i didnt manage to finish it before yesterday. nope, not at all
My Baby’s a Devil in the Bedroom | @callmelyss
- E - 4/5 chapters, 14 645 words - “Oh, obviously.” Kylo let out a shaky laugh and ran both hands through his hair. “Wait, no, you’re serious. You’re a fucking demon.”
“Well, yes, not to put too fine a point on it.” Hux smiled, clearly pleased with himself at the joke. “Or more accurately, I’m a succubus. A sex demon.”
Kylo has an unusual squatter. He's pretty fine with it. -
This fic is seriously amazing. It’s a super fun idea, the dialogue is hilarious, and it perfectly balances the sweetness and humor with angst/intrigue. Plus, I’m absolutely taken with snarky, smug, candy-tasting succubus Hux <3 <3
strange phenomenon | @brawlite, @kyluxtrashcompactor
- E - 8/8 chapters, 65 756 words - Kylo Ren is haunted by recent tragedy. He answers an ad posted by one Armitage Hux for a roommate, and he thinks a fresh start will help him begin to heal. He brings next to nothing with him from the past when he moves in.Or so he thinks. -
This fic is wonderfully suspenseful, and perfect if you’re looking for something to keep you on the edge of your seat. I also had a lot of Han feels when reading this one. Overall it’s just really nicely well-rounded with heartfelt and genuine characterizations, good spooks, and some searing sexual tension.
Something Wicked | @marlonbookcase
- G - 7/7 chapters, 22 514 words -  Kylo and Armitage have been friends since they were kids. Now in university, they run a semi-popular YouTube channel called "London Below" where they investigate all sorts of haunted and paranormal happenings in and around London and try to answer the question, are ghosts real? When they take on the mysterious and tragic case of the Pendle Witches, they come face to face with the spirit world in a way they never have before. Will they make it out of Pendle alive? Are ghosts real? And most importantly, does Armitage return Kylo's affections? -
I love Buzzfeed Unsolved. I love Kylux. I love this fic. A lot. As it says in the description, it’s not an exact Unsolved AU, but it really captured the format/feel of the “paranormal investigator” genre, so if you’re a fan of that, you’ll love this. Bonus points for some mutual pining and sugary fluff 👀👀
Second Spring, First Fall | @huxandthehound
- T - 5/? chapters, 7 018 words -  Nothing brings people together quite like the holidays. Well, maybe not Halloween... After a scare, Hux has to confront his neighbor. Lucky for him, Kylo might be a little sweeter than his tricks let on. -
A cute multi-chap made of Huxloween prompt fills! Lighthearted, but it’s still got that Halloween spirit. Plus I’ve got a soft spot for sweet modern AU Kylo :))
Some Strange and Unnerving Events | @longstoryshortikilledhim
- E - 10/10 chapters, 158 815 words -  As a boy in a dreary school on the moors, Kylo Ren had only one friend, a red-headed boy whose sharp tongue and wit drew Kylo to him. But that friend was taken from him. Now grown, Kylo goes into the service of the master of Stormfield Hall, the enigmatic Lord Arkanis, who is seeking a tutor for his charge. Kylo's past will come rushing back to him, both in his new employer and some unusual circumstances that bring to the fore powers that Kylo thought long-suppressed. -
This fic hit me like a ton of bricks. This fic hit me like TWO tons of bricks. Start this one when you’re ready to be feeling it for a few days afterwards. It’s an incredible historical AU with magic and a great murder mystery--it basically pushes, like, all of my buttons. And it’s /genuinely/ spooky, I had to start keeping a light on while I read it. Oh, and it features definitely my favorite Millicent ever. If you’ve got the time for something long, go for this one.
Reach Out in the Darkness | unicornsandbutane
- E - 2/2 chapters, 9 321 words - Having spent a decent amount of time researching the history and folklore of Arkanis, Cadet Hux strikes out one chilly evening in search of some legendary creature that's supposed to be extremely powerful. If the myths aren't true, all he's wasted is time. But, if they are based in some actual fact, then what a boon such an entity would be to his cause. He doesn't know what he will find, but he is prepared for any (absolutely ANY) eventuality. -
Tentacle monster Kylo. I am unapologetic. It’s really good.
Witchfeather | Whatever21ism
- E - 14/? chapters, 16 015 words - Armitage Hux is a new witch trying to establish himself in a new town. One day he goes out seeking a familiar, particularly a cat, somehow instead he ends up with a raven who is much more than they appear to be. -
A favorite of mine! Apothecary witch Hux & his crow familiar Kylo. There’s some really nice worldbuilding and crow Kylo is super cute. Possibly abandoned, but defs worth checking out what’s there & showing the author some love.
First Order Investigations | @mistresseast
- Unrated - series, 3 works, 58 094 words, incomplete - Hux and Phasma have been running First Order Investigations since high school, and Dr. Snoke's metaphysical research graduate program seemed like the perfect opportunity to pursue their interests under the protective umbrella of academia. Unfortunately, that meant allowing Snoke's personal project, a taciturn medium named Kylo Ren, to join their team. Hux and Kylo mix like oil and water, or, more accurately, like fire and gasoline, and Hux is convinced that working effectively with Kylo is absolutely impossible. They hate each other, and Hux is content to leave it that way.
But then, a case in the sweltering heat of South Carolina begins to change things between them, and Hux finds himself questioning not only Kylo's feelings, but his own as well. -
Paranormal Investigator AU of the highest quality. The detail and thought put into each investigation site is incredible. I love this fic to pieces, and if you like ghost stories, you will too.
Undead | @heyktula, @splinteredscript
- E - series, 2 works, 6 855 words, incomplete - They’ve been circling around each other for years. Kylo Ren, the most powerful vampire in Supreme Leader Snoke’s house, and Armitage Hux, the human liaison between the world of mortals and that of eternal darkness. Baiting, taunting, the cord between them growing ever tighter.Sooner or later, one of them is going to snap. -
A lovely and dark vampire AU~~ Gives off some real classic Kylux vibes, and is an absolute pleasure to read :D
Fixer Upper | @irisparry
- T - 5/7 chapters, 10 034 words - When Armitage Hux starts with First Order estate agents, he thinks the house on Alderaan Drive is an insult, a patronising set of training wheels for the new boy. He is ... not correct. -
Adorable haunted house AU! I love both of their characterizations in this one, especially shy, grumpy ghost Kylo~
Hair of the Dog That Bit You | @theweddingofthefoxes
- M - 9/9 chapters, 21 597 words -  Ren owns a popular tavern, and Armitage is a respected physician in town and the surrounding villages. Their years-long friendship will survive anything -- even the bite of a werewolf. Won't it? -
Full disclosure, I haven’t actually finished this one-- I have a tendency to get distracted unless I finish something in one sitting, rip. But I remember being SUPER stoked about starting it, and anything by weddingofthefoxes is guaranteed to be a treat, so I’m putting it on here anyway :D tbh now that I’m thinking about it again I’ll probably finish it tonight.
The Eldritch Effect | @generallyhuxurious
- E - 17/17 chapters, 67 899 words - For the last three years Major Donal A. Hux, formerly of the British Army's Parachute Regiment, and Kylo Ren, estranged son of US Defence Secretary Leia Organa, have been tooling around North America investigating "weirdness"- and they're plenty weird themselves. Their latest tip off is leading them towards a haunting in rural Alabama. But first they need to make a stop in Trinity, South Carolina... -
A real goofy Paranormal Investigators AU that I super love (but I also need to catch up on rip). It’s an American Gothic AU, but you don’t need to have any knowledge of the show to follow along (I don’t). It also comes with a series of oneshots set in the universe but outside the main plotline, so when you finish the fic and inevitably want more, you’re covered ;)
blackbird, fly | @acroamatica
- M - 19 265 words - One sunny afternoon in the mountains of Washington state, Ben Organa-Solo walked out into the woods.
He never came home.
Six years later, a journalist specialising in missing-persons cold cases decides to follow his footsteps and see where they might lead. -
This is a sad beautiful horror AU that is very close to my heart. The writing is just gorgeous and the suspense is beautifully done. Also, it about doubled the amount of emotions already attached to the song Blackbird for me (I still get a little heart-squeeze every time I hear it)
what’s real or isn’t | @brawlite
- E - 12/12 chapters, 57 398 words - Hux's new house is not haunted. It isn't. -
Super surreal haunted house AU. There’s also monster sex. This is definitely a staple of spooky Kylux fics :D
How to Kill a Living Thing | hedgerowhag
- E - 10/10 chapters, 25 394 words - It starts like any other horror movie: a young man moves into a strange old house full of relics of the past and becomes haunted by some strange entity. However, Ren doesn't find the monster that he expects. -
This one has got some of the most stunning, spooky visuals I’ve ever read. I could picture every scene and character so clearly. Plus, I love Hux’s characterization--he’s kind of a shit, and it’s beautiful.
Twenty-Six Weeks | @vmprsm
- E (eventually) - series, 4 works, 28 539 words, probably complete - Two mature adults need to do two things: live an a house with a stranger for six months, and keep their secrets to themselves. How hard could that be?
Apparently very. -
The author made a point of trying not to give too much away in the summary/tags, so I won’t either :D I’ll just say it’s one of my favorites, and definitely worth a read if you haven’t already~~
The Brief Wondrous Return of Vampire Boy | @hollyhark
- T - 21 190 words - Two days before Halloween, Hux hears a rumor that Ben Solo is back in town. While Hux does not believe the sensational version-- that his estranged childhood friend/enemy escaped from an asylum and is out for revenge --he is left on edge as to how to proceed. -
One of my favorite Halloween fics; it really encompasses the feel of fall/Halloween but also, like, good ol’ ~teenage bullshit~. There’s a lot of creepy Snoke stuff, some dealing with the fallout, and a nice hopeful ending :))
Ghost Encounters of the Hux Kind | carefulren
- T - 9/9 chapters, 25 610 words - Kylo purchases an old, abandoned house in order to get away from his family. He just wants the chance to be alone for a while, and he considers this house as the start of his new, isolated freedom.
Everything is going as smoothly as possible, until it's not.
Perhaps, Kylo isn't living alone after all.-
A sweet and soft ghost  story AU. I adore the ending <3 <3 
Spookylux Huxloween 2018 | @nofootprintsinsalt
- T - series, 31 works, 36 896 words, complete - Huxloween 2018 - 31 benarmie fics in 31 days -
A series of benarmie fluff/horror for the Huxloween prompts this year! These were so so fun to read throughout the month and I adore the little universe that develops as they go on :))
Of Our Time | @ezlebe
- E - 15 297 words - “Do you know how many people would think it’s weird you walk around in the day?”
Hux grits his teeth in vain against an uncanny sensation, his own words digging and clawing up his throat to leave behind the taste of blood and bitterness thick on his tongue. “I could care less. I was made this way before there were movies – before fucking Stroker. Call me a demon if it makes you feel better.” -
I only read this really recently, and I was BLOWN AWAY. Seriously, this packs so much into 15k--it’s got feels, it’s got lore, it’s got steamy smut. What more could one ask for?
Shiver The Whole Night Through | @theweddingofthefoxes
- T- 5/5 chapters, 7 977 words - Ren's always loved hunting, so when he's told his paid time off won't roll over into the next year, he decides to take a week, get his gun and rent a cabin in the woods. But it takes no time at all for the hunter to become the hunted. -
This one’s very accurately tagged “Mind Games,” which really made it stand out to me--I do love a good spooky woods story~~
The Ghost Under My Bed | @longstoryshortikilledhim
- E - 19 525 words - Amateur witch, aspiring actor and full-time family fuckup Ben Solo discovers that his house is being haunted. Best part? His very own poltergeist, Armitage Hux, is kinda cute. Worst part? Well. He's dead. -
THIS IS THE SWEETEST GHOST STORY. I love it so so much. The sweetness of their relationship set against the sad backdrop of both of their histories gives this one a really unique feel. And the ending is guaranteed to give you the warm fuzzies <3
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aaaand that’s all, folks! Lord, this post turned into a behemoth lmao. I just. really love supernatural stuff. (on that note, if anyone has read/written anything even tangentially spooky/supernatural, feel free to send it my way. I will happily give it a read ;)))
Happy reading! ^_^
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