#but more platonic but if you ship it this fic can go either way

[demigod-shenanigans]

Actual lengthy reply time finally (sorry this took me literally forever)

Yeah I did not want Leo to be alone right after this, and I didn’t want Piper to be alone with it either. Canon may refuse to let them go to Jason’s funeral, but I will let them grieve together, damn it!

The backstory/pre-plot part actually ended up being quite a bit more than just a prologue, it’s the first few chapters, but I hope it’ll still feel well-paced and fitting when we get around to the rest of them! I wanted to take the time to get into all the feelings and set up/resolve some stuff, plus sticking to the ToA timeline I had to get to the point where Apollo is back on Mount Olympus, which takes a minute. Most of it is relevant and will be back to haunt Leo later!

Responding to the bullet points by putting the relevant numbers in front (not sure why it apparently changed all of yours to 1. in this reblog, they’re correct if I look at your post?? Very strange)

2. Yep! Leo not feeling loved/worthy of love was a huge deal in HoO, and all canon did was put a girlfriend on it and pretend we’re good now, but we will not be doing that here! Leo will learn to recognize that he’s loved, and if it’s the last thing he does :)

4. This bugged me so much in HoO you have no idea. I actually kind of prefer HoO to pjo just because I adore all the characters, but plot wise it’s all over the place and we really miss out on a bunch of friendship stuff because it’s so focused on all the love triangles. I need more platonic Argo bonding!! Let them all be buddies!!

5. This is partially me being demiromantic but many if not all my favorite ships are characters that have strong platonic bonds first. Something something marrying your best friend. I also feel like Leo and Jason both took forever to realize they were into each other (Leo grumbling about Jason constantly being hot in his general vicinity being the reason why he doesn’t have a girlfriend will always crack me up, lol, and Jason spent so long doing what he thought he was supposed to/what was expected of him, including his relationship with Piper, that he didn’t really get to stop and properly have a sexuality crisis for ages) so I wanted to re-establish that for the fic, especially since valgrace fics are kind of split on whether they have jiper happen and break up like they did in canon or just never have them date at all

6. I couldn’t resist sneaking that one in. Insert lame Apollo dodgeball Leo Valdez joke LMAO

7. <3

That’s such a smart way to put it!! Leo is dealing with a lottt and we’re going to get into it a bit more in future chapters but yeah he’s definitely avoiding talking about some of it (in both the way that we the audience don’t see all of it and in him and Piper actively coping via distracting themselves and not talking about some of it)

Honest confession: I really struggle with Shel. I’m glad she exists, but she’s basically an OC when you try to work with her in fanon, because she really only exists to confirm Piper is sapphic and canon gives us absolutely no information on her. I know she’s Cherokee, I know she’s sapphic, I know she likes hiking and I think she has a piercing? That’s it. She’s just kind of a nothing character, which is fine in the books but makes it very hard to work with her in fanon content. Can we have at least a little additional input on her please? 🤲

Glad you think that works well!! Especially because I actually don’t find myself that funny? Though I think it probably helps that I’ve got a general tendency to get attached to traumatized joke coping characters, so I’m pretty familiar with it conceptually. The last book series I fixated on also did this a lot (intense explorations of grief briefly interrupted by memes LOL)

The audience knows stuff!! But Leo was not around for that! And he’s processing a lot at the moment but that just really makes it sink in how much he missed, both because he was gone for so long and also when he was there but so caught up in his own problems (and especially in seeing how “happy” Piper and Jason were apparently without him, because again Leo doesn’t feel worthy of love and has spent a lot of time in foster families who weren’t that great and made him feel like they’d eventually decide they didn’t want him anymore) that he didn’t see the cracks that Piper now tells him were there basically for the whole relationship. So yeah it’s a shock. On a lot of levels. But it’s a lot less earthshaking than the shock of Jason being gone, and therefore easier to focus on. The Piper related changes may or may not also hit him sometime in the near future ;)

Quotes section (please just in general know I’m delighted you did this it brings me suchhh joy to see what bits touched my readers the most):

-No spoilers, but I will say there’s a reason the fic starts out with memories of Esperanza. And yeah, the whole Jason situation is tearing open a lot of old wounds, specifically because of how similar it is: a situation Leo was unable to do anything to change that he feels responsible for (even though, realistically speaking, he isn’t). A loved one that got ripped away from him far too soon that he never got the chance to say goodbye to. A kind of desperate ache that nothing is ever going to fix.

I have a couple of grievances with ToA, and the way none of Jason’s loved ones are allowed to stay mad at Apollo is definitely one of them. Like, it’s established Jason died because of Apollo’s broken Styx prophecy! We’re told that’s the reason it happens!! Piper is the only one who gets to be mad at him at all, and even then she’s only upset for a single scene and has forgiven Apollo the next time they meet. Grief can be messy and nasty and people lash out sometimes! Not everyone needed to immediately be totally fine with the fact that Apollo got Jason killed!

-Glad you enjoyed that joke! I’m not super good with machinery so I worried I’d struggle with working that part into his narration but there’s some references to it I’m actually really happen with, and this is one of them :)

-Something something Leo is of the opinion that Piper should hate him how he hates himself! Also in this context, feeling a little evil about the fact that one of the reasons Leo doesn’t go to the Camp Jupiter funeral is that he thinks everyone would blame him for Jason’s death. The reality of it is that they wouldn’t! But when his mom died his aunt did blame him and so he automatically assumes that this time everyone will look at him and see that same blame written all over his face.

-English being my third language (technically second language going off of how well I actually speak it, I learnt French first but my French is shit lol), I’m really glad to hear it haha

-All of their lives are fucking weird, it’s a demigod thing, but Leo’s almost got everyone beat just based on the fact that the Queen of the Gods went out of her way to come babysit him. It’s even funnier because I’m pretty sure none of the others know this except for Piper and Jason. I wish we’d seen him tell Percy and Annabeth, I feel like that would have been a very funny interaction.

-There is something related to Leo in that box, which may or may not be something I’ve mentioned on this blog before ;)

-Unfortunately for Leo, there’s a bit more stuff he has to deal with before the Plot can start. For instance, the fact that he is (theoretically) in a relationship right now.

I’m so so glad you enjoyed this!! I’ve read and reread your comment a whole bunch of times now, and every time I do I get this huge grin on my face. This is the kind of comment i don’t get a lot but that when I do get it I’ll treasure literally forever. You made my whole month with this and it’s made me very excited to get back to the fic (which between exam phase and hospital stuff I haven’t gotten to work on nearly as much as I hoped lately)

The choiceless hope in grief

Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.

But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.

This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.

The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.

And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.

Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.

Word Count for chapter 1: ~5k

Rating: Teen and Up

So! *claps hands together* I’ve been threatening you guys with my Orpheus Eurydice valgrace fic for a while! Technically I wanted to wait to post this until I’m completely done writing the fic, and I mostly intend to stick to that! I’m only posting this now because I have a minor surgery tomorrow and I’d rather be anxious about fic related things than about the surgery in question. So, take this chapter as a preview of sorts, more to come soon-ish but probably not immediately!

A couple of important notes before we start:

-TW for suicidal ideation. It’s less Leo actually wanting to die and more his canon behavior of “I’m doing something extremely reckless that might succeed but if it doesn’t, my death is an acceptable consequence”, paired with general grief related self-loathing, but if you think you’re not in the right headspace to read about that, come back when you are or at least tread carefully. This fic pics up at the end of The Burning Maze, so especially the beginning is pretty heavy on the grief stuff.

-Since ToA is vaguely canon to this fic, Leo and Calypso are technically dating in the beginning, but they don’t really interact positively as a couple (honestly they don’t interact that much in general) and break up pretty early on. Just be aware in advance that they’re still together for a little bit.

-Fic title is from Talk by Hozier which is maybe a painfully obvious pick but it was too perfect for me not to use it.

Chapter 1: Leo and Piper have an extended sleepover

It wasn’t a discussion between Leo and Piper whether or not to go to Jason’s funeral. They came to the decision that they wouldn’t silently—or as silently as one could come to an agreement when all parties involved were sobbing.

Maybe it should have been a discussion. There was a part of Leo that worried he’d regret this later—his refusal to take this chance to say goodbye and let himself grieve.

But Leo remembered his mother’s funeral. Remembered the way his aunt Rosa had looked at him like she knew his mother’s death had been his fault. Leo couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at him like that again.

He also didn’t remember his mother’s funeral bringing him any sense of closure or comfort. He’d stood at her grave, afterwards, just as desperate and afraid and utterly inconsolable as he’d been before the funeral, except it had suddenly felt sickeningly final. The wound it had torn in his soul had kept bleeding for years, and the scars would stay forever. He didn’t need any of Apollo’s shitty oracles to know Jason’s death would be exactly the same.

At this point, Leo was pretty sure his sanity was being held together by a combination of jokes and a truly questionable amount of duct tape.

Beyond all that, though, Camp Jupiter was a battlefield right now. It would continue to be a battlefield for the foreseeable future.

Leo wasn’t a coward. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back and help. But one of his best friends was already in a box, and there was no way in hell he’d risk the other.

With how tightly Piper was clinging to him, maybe she was thinking the same thing. 

For all his big talk about dragon escorts, Festus did most of the actual escorting on his own, occasionally torching what Leo hoped were monsters and not random public monuments. Leo, for his part, spent most of the journey crammed into the backseat of the car next to Piper, sandwiched between her and a bunch of moving boxes that seemed determined to flatten him into a Leo-shaped pancake whenever they took a sharp turn.

He’d spent so long thinking about seeing her and Jason again. 

He’d talked Calypso’s ear off about them the whole journey, to the point where it had clearly started to annoy her. He’d thought about various ridiculous entrances he could make, and the fact that he’d probably get yelled at, but he’d also thought about sitting together by the campfire, sharing nachos. He’d thought about Jason hugging him so fiercely that he couldn’t breathe, and Piper cussing him out while she held him, making him promise never to do anything that reckless again.

Now Piper was actually holding him, and Leo couldn’t feel anything. There was a numbness in his chest. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to ever feel happiness again. Hell, even if he did, what was the fucking point? Every time anything even remotely good happened in his life, it got ripped away from him again.

They didn’t talk a whole lot for most of the drive. They cried until it felt like they couldn’t anymore, clinging to each other like desperate children.

Even if they’d wanted to talk about what had happened, Piper’s dad was right there, and despite the Mist usually working overtime for them, having him overhear seemed like a gamble. Or, well, maybe that was what Leo told himself. Maybe he just wasn't sure he was ready to hear it all. He still felt like he couldn’t think. He was overwhelmed to hell and couldn’t stop fidgeting.

Several hours into the trip, his stomach started grumbling. Piper dug through the bag at her feet and offered him one of her PB&J sandwiches, but Leo couldn’t eat. He hadn’t skipped a meal in forever—he’d been homeless and unsure when he’d even get access to the next meal enough times that it had been all but tattooed into his skull that he couldn’t afford to—but he couldn’t even think about eating without feeling sick. He thought about Jason. He thought about the state he’d left Camp Jupiter in and the fact that they hadn’t even been able to give the dead their proper funeral rites.

Had Leo’s help made any difference at all? Had anything he’d done in his life changed things even slightly?

Leo knew the Fates had intended for it to be fire that fell—for him to burn in a bright, hot blaze and turn himself to charcoal. But he’d refused to stay dead like a good little pawn, and now Jason was gone, and it was all his fault.

He wasn’t sure how Piper could even look at him right now, but he was beyond grateful that she was holding onto him as tightly as she did. It was the only reason he didn’t fall to pieces completely. The cog at the heart of Leo’s machine had broken in a way that made it utterly beyond repair, and now it felt like a matter of time before the whole thing came apart. Piper holding him was the only reason his remaining pieces were still functioning. 

It should have been impossible for Leo to fall asleep under these circumstances, but he’d been traveling for hours and fighting before then and he’d cried out his remaining energy, so eventually, the world started to fade around him, reduced to just the sound of Piper’s breaths, until finally, those went, too.

~~~~

It would have been kinder, maybe, if Leo had dreamed up some shitty visions promising violent death and/or the end of the world. That would have been business as usual. 

Instead, he dreamed of his time on the Argo II—of one of those early nights when the different groups were still getting to know each other, having a brief moment to breathe between their ridiculous tasks and saving the world. 

It had seemed reasonable to catch each other up on what had happened on their end. Percy, Hazel and Frank had talked about rescuing Thanatos, and Piper, Jason and Leo had told them what had happened with Hera in turn. 

This would have been a boring intel conversation at best, seeing as Leo had been there for all of their part, but they’d grabbed snacks and sat on cushions on the floor and made it a whole bonding activity. Jason had been wedged between Piper and Leo, and they’d taken turns storytelling. 

And Jason had bragged. So much. But he hadn’t even had the decency to brag about himself like a normal human being. Instead, he’d talked about how capable Piper and Leo had been, somehow managing to make Leo sound like the coolest person he’d ever met. Which was ridiculous, considering he’d met everyone else on their team.

And sure, Leo made it sound like he thought he was amazing all the time, but he was exaggerating, which everyone, himself included, knew. 

Jason didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, though. He had one arm wrapped around Leo the whole evening, and he got all starry-eyed when he talked. 

“Leo took on three Cyclopes by himself. Three!”

“Dude, stop!” Leo had laughed, shaking his head. “I know I’m incredible and you’re blessed to be friends with me and stuff, but you weren’t even conscious for that part.”

“Still happened, though.” Jason had beamed at him. “You’re amazing, dude. I would have died about fifteen times on that mission if it hadn’t been for you. You guys should’ve seen him.”

It would have been easier if Leo had thought Jason was just trying to talk him up to the others to make them more willing to trust him after how badly he’d messed up in New Rome, but Jason wasn’t the type. He’d looked like he honestly believed every single word he was saying.

So, of course, Leo had refused to seriously deal with any of the things that made him feel.

“Sorry, Pipes, but I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is in love with me. It’s the fire powers, I’m afraid. I’m just too hot to resist,” Leo had joked instead, and Piper had untangled herself from Jason’s other side to throw Doritos at Leo, and everything had been right in the universe.

~~~~

Waking up from that, blearily blinking himself awake in the car full of moving boxes and remembering… that was a worse punch in the gut than waking up from most nightmares had been. And Leo should know. He’d had so many of those over the years that he was basically a certified nightmare expert at this point.

Leo wanted to go back in time and spend forever in that one evening, living it over and over and over again until the Fates or a temporal paradox or something eventually killed him. He wanted to hold on to what they’d been back then—the three of them together and happy and whole,back before they’d realized what the prophecy really meant. 

He wanted to stay wrapped in Jason’s arm and hear him laugh at whatever stupid joke Leo came up with while he and Piper threw snacks at each other like ten year olds. He wanted to believe he could actually be the person Jason was bragging about—this invincible hero that could do just about anything and saved people’s lives.

But Leo had never been that hero. Even his sacrifice had been the selfish decision of a coward who wasn’t ready to die just yet. Jason had been their Superman. The guy who could fly and threw lightning and saved people from falling to their deaths. Jason had been the hero. And ultimately, that had been what killed him.

Leo wasn’t exactly sure what he planned to do once they got to Oklahoma. He should have been heading back to the Waystation, to give Calypso the normal life he’d promised. But he wasn’t thinking about Calypso, or the Waystation, and the thought of a normal life had gone out of the window the second he’d seen the coffin. Besides, the Waystation would mean people asking questions, wanting to know about his mission and asking him to talk about his feelings, and he didn’t want that.

The only thing Leo really wanted to do right now was not think. 

By the time they got to the house, it was so late that cross-country dragon flight seemed inadvisable for visibility reasons alone, so Leo agreed to stay the night. Festus nuzzled him for a bit, got a fuel snack from the canister Leo had brought and then folded down into his million pound suitcase form for the night.

It took a little under two hours to carry all the boxes inside, which was an annoying amount of time to be carrying boxes but seemed like an absurdly short amount to move the contents of an entire life.

They spent some time in search of the necessities that needed to be unpacked, but the house was still furnished and also had running water and electricity as of a few days ago, so it wasn’t that bad.

While Piper went in search of some ancient camping gear so Leo wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor—this seemed silly to him, the floor was far from the worst place he’d ever slept—Leo asked Piper’s dad if he could help with dinner. 

Tristan looked relieved at his offer, actually. He’d been staring at the assorted vegetables with a slightly lost expression, trying to hack at one of the zucchinis with a butter knife. It seemed like he was trying to remember how cooking worked and had just discovered he had absolutely no idea. 

Considering how long he’d been an insanely rich guy with a personal cook, Leo guessed that actually might have been a pretty accurate read on the situation. 

“You might want to try a sharper knife,” Leo suggested, which made Piper’s dad look absolutely mortified. “Try not to chop off any of your fingers, though. I think Piper’s been traumatized enough for one week.”

The words were out of his mouth before Leo could think to stop them. Tristan didn’t laugh, but at least it didn’t seem like he’d be tossing Leo out of the house over this. Maybe he realized people sometimes said stupid shit when they were grieving. Maybe Piper had just warned him in advance that Leo was like this sometimes.

Tristan just went to find a different knife, which would have maybe been concerning if he hadn’t gone back to hacking at the vegetables a moment later.

“Well, at least this one is actually cutting through the zucchinis. That’s already an improvement.”

“Yeah, I’m basically a cooking expert,” Leo said with a grin, only half-joking. He went to peel and chop up the carrots, and was done with those and about half the mushrooms by the time the poor zucchini had been hacked to bits.

“You and Piper went to school together, right?” Tristan asked after a while of them quietly chopping vegetables for the casserole, trying to make sense of things with information he didn’t have and that, judging from past evidence, probably would have made his skull crack. “You and her and Jason.”

“Yeah. We went to Wilderness school together.” Leo winced, trying not to think too hard of Jason while also trying to remember the lies they’d already told Piper’s dad. At this rate, he was pretty worried his own skull would crack, too. “Then all three of us switched to a different school. Then I was gone for a while.”

Tristan nodded like this made perfect sense, though he mostly seemed lost in thought. That was a little rude, in Leo’s opinion. If he went through all that effort to remember their elaborate setup of lies, the least Piper’s dad could do was appreciate it!

“I’m glad you’re here now, with everything that’s happened. Piper was really upset when you left,” Tristan said, still with that faraway look in his eyes. “The last few months were hard for her. Between the move and the breakup, she really could have used a friend.”

Leo promptly lost all rights to make fun of Piper’s dad and his vegetable chopping skills because at the word ‘breakup’, the knife slipped and he nearly sliced off two of his fingers.

“Fuck! Ow!” he said eloquently, trying to avoid bleeding all over the cutting board in his attempt to get to the sink. “Jason and Piper broke up?”

The question sounded absurd even to his own ears. Why would Jason and Piper break up? They’d been happy together.

Surely, Piper’s dad had to be talking about something else.

To Leo’s shock, Tristan nodded.

“A while ago, yes,” he said, but he didn’t go into details—possibly because Leo was bleeding all over the sink. “We should bandage that. Do you think you need stitches?”

“No, the cuts aren’t that deep,” Leo decided, turning on the faucet and holding his bleeding hand under the stream of cold water. Maybe he should have been more concerned about the injury, but his mind was still whirring at the thought of his best friends breaking up. Unfortunately, the cold water stung like hell. He hissed with pain. “Sorry for making your kitchen look like a crime scene right after moving in. Usually, I at least have the decency to wait a day or two.”

Because the house was a small, cozy place and Leo had not had the decency to curse quietly, Piper appeared in the doorway a moment later, an alarmed expression on her face.

“What happened?”

“I’ve been bested by a stupid potato,” Leo cursed, holding up his bleeding hand and wiggling his fingers for emphasis. He figured out immediately that this was a mistake. “Ow.”

“Stop that, dumbass!” Piper cursed, moving to stand beside him. “Sink was the right call, but you need to use soap or the cuts could get infected. Dad, any chance we have gauze lying around somewhere?”

Tristan didn’t seem to question why his daughter had immediately jumped into emergency medical treatment mode. He just abandoned the cutting board and headed for the front door.

“Not exactly sure what box our regular medical supplies are in, but I’ll get the first aid kit from the car. I’ll be right back.”

“Do we have to do the soap?” Leo whined, because fuck, that stung, but Piper nodded with a scary expression on her face, so he complied. “How do you even know this stuff? Are we sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”

“I know this stuff because I’m friends with a bunch of morons who have zero sense of self-preservation,” Piper cursed, gritting her teeth. “You shouldn’t be around knives when you’re this distracted.”

“I can usually cook just fine when I’m distracted. Your dad was the one who told me you and Jason broke up in the middle of this stupid potato,” Leo said defensively. “Is that the Mist messing with him?”

That was the only explanation his mind had supplied so far that made any sense to him.

Piper shook her head. “We really did break up. That was a few months ago.”

Leo felt his jaw hit the floor. 

“What the hell happened? You were together for ages. I thought- you always seemed so happy.”

“I know, but-” Piper broke off abruptly when her dad came back inside with the first aid kit. Demigod stuff, then?

Leo’s mind was racing. The breakup was a completely stupid thing to focus on, considering everything that had happened in the last few days. He knew that.

But it was easier to try and make sense of this than it was to try and make sense of the fact that Jason was gone and he’d never get to see him again.

“Is it alright if we do this somewhere else?” Piper asked her dad, taking the first aid kit from him.

“Of course. It might be easier to patch him up when you’re both sitting down, anyway.” He turned towards Leo. “Thank you for your help, but I think I can take it from here.”

Leo sent a silent prayer to whichever deity was responsible for protecting vegetables—Demeter, probably?—and gave what he hoped was an encouraging thumbs up with his uninjured hand before he followed Piper into the hallway to presumably be reprimanded some more.

~~~~ They ended up sitting on an old bed that looked like it had lived a long, miserable life and was excited for retirement, but the wooden frame thankfully didn’t break down under the weight of the new mattress or the additional weight of them sitting on said mattress. Piper explained that this had been her dad’s room when he’d lived here as a child, and that it would probably become her room now. Then she went very quiet and focused on bandaging his hand, clearly avoiding looking at him.

“It wasn’t because of me, was it?” Leo asked. The thought made him feel ill. “Please tell me it wasn’t something like, I don’t know, you two being unable to stand being around each other after what happened to me. I think I’d actually have to blow myself up again if it was.”

He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it didn’t feel like one at all. The thought that he'd managed to ruin his best friends’ relationship on top of everything else made it hard to breathe.

When Piper shook her head, it felt like a whole boulder was lifted off his shoulders.

“I actually think we would have broken up sooner if you hadn’t gone missing. We leaned on each other a lot after you disappeared. It wasn’t until we realized we wouldn’t find you and things started to settle down a little that I had time to think. And when I did…” Her voice went very quiet, and she still didn’t look up at him. “I realized I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I don’t think I ever was.”

“How did I not know that?” Leo wondered quietly. “I just… you two seemed happy to me. What kind of garbage best friend am I?”

Piper shook her head. “It isn’t your fault. I was telling myself I was happy for a long time. It’s almost- sometimes I wonder if I was charmspeaking myself. That maybe I kept saying I was in love with Jason until I convinced myself I actually was. And with Hera and my mom setting it up… I love-” her voice caught in her throat, and Leo felt like maybe he needed to throw up, “-loved Jason, but not like that.”

“Pipes, I’m really sorry.” Leo squeezed her shoulder. “That sounds like it was super hard for both of you.” Leo felt awful about the fact that he hadn’t even been around to comfort either of them, but it wasn’t like he could fix it now. It was just another item on Leo’s unending list of epic screwups he’d never be able to make up for.

“Jason was… well, he took it exactly like I expected him to. He was surprised, but he didn’t get angry or anything. He mostly seemed okay. Part of me wonders if maybe…” But whatever Piper had been thinking about, she seemed to decide it wasn’t important. “It was hard to get a proper read on him, and as nice as he was about it, things were still super awkward after. I'm terrified he died thinking I didn’t care about him.”

And then she was tearing up again, and Leo thought he would shatter if she cried. 

“He knew you cared,” he said as earnestly as he could manage, pulling Piper to his chest again. “You love way too annoyingly for him not to have known. Hell, even I know you love me, and we both know I’m a fucking nightmare when it comes to this stuff.”

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Oh, I’m about to make you regret saying that,” Leo said, forcing himself to smile. “I’ll bring it up each and every time you say you find something I do annoying.”

“You’re annoying as hell, but you’re still my best friend.” He could feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder, and he knew that would make him start up again too. “I don’t know how I’d do this without you.”

And well, passing away from dehydration after crying too much would be a really lame way to die the second time, but everything was just too much right now, so if that was how he went, Leo wasn’t sure anyone could blame him.

~~~~

For the next couple of weeks, Leo stayed.

Helping Piper and her dad unpack was the perfect way to keep himself occupied and not have to think. Usually, a mundane task like this probably would have driven Leo nuts. But right now, it was a bit of a godsend—if not literally, at least figuratively. Being productive was always so much easier when it was done in order to avoid something you wanted to do even less. There was a reason his spaces in the foster homes had only ever been tidy when he had exams coming up.

He helped cook, too, and Piper’s dad became increasingly less garbage at it the longer this went on—like muscle memory was finally kicking in after years of disuse.

It was mostly good—listening to Piper reminisce about trips she’d taken with her dad and where she’d gotten the weird variety of items she kept in her room. When they weren’t unpacking, Leo and Piper played video games or watched movies or explored the area. Twice, during the night, they took Festus on a little flight to a nearby fast food place. Finding a parking spot was a bit of a nightmare, unfortunately. Leo would submit a complaint about their inability to accommodate celestial bronze dragons the first chance he got.

The first time they tried hiking—Leo didn’t even like hiking, he’d spent enough time outside for several lifetimes, why did he do this to himself—they got hopelessly lost in the woods, and of course, due to demigod bullshit, neither of them had brought a phone, so Google Maps wasn’t an option. It was probably for the better. The last thing that situation needed on top of them being lost was a monster attack. 

They were already jokingly planning out their new life in the woods when, thankfully, a girl their age came to their rescue.

“A human being! Thank the gods. The squirrels weren’t talking to us,” Leo greeted her, which had Piper shout “Please ignore Leo!” loudly from the branches of the tree she’d been climbing.

The girl lifted her head, spotted Piper and promptly burst out laughing.

“What in the world are you doing up there?” 

“Trying to get a better vantage point,” Piper sighed, making her way back down the tree. “We’re hopelessly lost.”

“Well, nice to meet you, hopelessly lost. I’m Shel,” the girl said, still grinning. Leo decided immediately that he liked her.

Piper had almost made it back down when she somehow missed a branch and fell the rest of the way. In comedic movie fashion, Shel moved before Leo had the chance to and caught her mid-tumble. “That was a bit of a dramatic way to get my attention, but you’re cute, so I’ll allow it.”

“Oh yeah, Piper’s got a bit of a thing with falling for people that way,” Leo commented, and Piper gave him her most murderous look while she got back on her feet.

“You guys need help getting back?”

“Please, yes,” Piper said immediately. “It turns out we’re both garbage with maps.”

“Maybe you just need a tour guide next time,” Shel suggested, winking at Piper, whose face turned scarlet. Leo wasn’t even mad about being the third wheel for once. He’d give her so much shit about this later.

And he did. And then Piper properly came out to him—no label or anything, mostly as extremely confused but sure she liked girls, which also made a few additional pieces click into place regarding her breakup with Jason. She ended her anxiety-riddled explanation by thanking Leo for being so normal and annoying about all this. 

Which was how Leo realized he’d apparently never told Piper he was bi.

Or maybe he had, and it had gotten lost along with their other memories of Wilderness. Stupid memory-stealing babysitters.

Well, at least they got to hug about it now. 

~~~~

It was strange how normal some days felt when nothing would ever truly be normal again. When in every moment Leo and Piper spent together, the gaping hole that had been ripped into their trio was so blatantly obvious.

The benefit and problem of this friendship was that Leo and Piper were both experts at not talking about things they were struggling with. 

This wasn’t exactly news. From what little Leo did remember of Wilderness School, they’d spent months not talking about his mom, or about the fact that Piper’s dad kept canceling their weekend plans. They’d both known there were things left unsaid, but as long as they’d been able to cheer each other up, that hadn’t really mattered. It made sense, honestly. Put two people who hadn’t had a shoulder to cry on for ages in a room together and see what happens!

Right now, this meant they were expertly ignoring the box of belongings Piper had picked up from Jason’s school. It had been pushed so far under the bed during that first night that it was no longer visible, and neither of them made any effort to move it out of its new home since. They ignored the topic of Jason, period, until it inevitably hit them in the face again. 

It was mostly dumb shit that set them off. Piper automatically reaching for vanilla ice cream at the grocery store because it was Jason’s favorite—seriously, who in their right mind even liked vanilla ice cream?

Sometimes, Leo would make a joke and burst into tears instead of laughing because he knew it would have cracked Jason up. They found old photos unpacking. One time, Piper’s dad suggested they make tacos and they started simultaneously bawling their eyes out.

Leo had spent a long time exactly like this—pretending everything was normal and okay when it wasn’t either of those things until he inevitably broke down. Then he’d started to actually feel sort of okay whenever he was with Jason and Piper. Now, he was sure he would spend the rest of his life pretending.

His appetite was too used to being stuck in survival mode for him to bow to nausea for long, so he went back to eating properly after a few days. He still cried himself to sleep most nights. He kept dreaming about Jason. The memories wrapped themselves around him like a safety blanket that he knew would get ripped away again in the morning. He always woke up feeling empty. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up again.

But other than that, it was mostly good.

Then demigod communications went back up, and everything went to hell.

———

Chapter notes:

Fun fact! I originally planned for this chapter (as well as the next few chapters) to just be backstory in my head and for me to maybe do a flashback or two. Unfortunately for me, Piper McLean waltzed into the room and refused to leave.

I do actually think the fic works better this way, but it will take a second to get to the plot! Hopefully you’ll enjoy the whole journey :)

I may not be able to have Leo and Piper go to Jason’s funeral without seriously messing with the plot of Tyrant’s Tomb, but I could at least pick the most evil reason possible for them not to go!

Side note: I sort of forgot that Hedge and Mellie were supposed to be here according to TBM, but by the time I remembered I already had this chapter written out and, as someone who cannot be bothered to figure out how to write them, I decided to just leave it. ToA is vaguely canon to this universe, but only for the most part. Some details are inaccurate, and I think that’s okay.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs super, super appreciated as always!!

List of people that at some point asked to be tagged when I post this: @poppitron360 @ginnyluna @keefessketchbook (feel free to comment if you want to get taken off or be put on the tag list for future chapters!)

[doctor-bus]

just outlined a whole ass fic (we'll see if I can actually polish it, but imo it's pretty good so I hope so) and I'm just sitting here going. when I post this. do I tag it as the platonic or romantic ship.

[antimony-medusa]

Okay so.

Look. At this point I am old and I am tired and I am pretty firmly coming down on write what you want just archive lock it or something and tag it please. If I am hitting tropes or trends or ships that don't do it for me, I can simply click away and my day is not ruined. Cancellation is not on my radar at all. Okay. So. With that out of the way.

Look. Sometimes, when you are pushing the boundary of platonic possessive and platonic kink-adjacent stuff, if you lead special emphasis on the fact that everybody involved is related, it doesn't necessarily make it magically more platonic. It just gives it extra vibes. Specifically you are like STRONGLY invoking incest as a kink right now, my guys. This is getting dire. Like I'm sorry but if someone is lying down half asleep listening to the "sounds of kissing" and one of the people doing the kissing keeps saying how good of a brother the other person is, like, you can smack a "platonic kissing" tag on that one all you like, and I can even follow you on a faith journey and believe that you intended that to be platonic, but uh, the first reading of that one is distinctly like— man, please. I'm dying here.

In the same way that if you have an interaction— say, you did a cuddle-potion fic, and you say to yourself "man these guys are getting handsy, if they're both dating age this would look kinda sketchy'' so your solve is to make one of them twelve and then suddenly you have made your slightly off-colour fic take on a whole new tone— in the same way that making one of the characters underage isn't a magic button you can press to make something fully platonic no matter what, making your characters related isn't going to make it magically platonic if they are say, all in the same bed and one of the characters is feeling the mattress move as his brother and father cuddle each other and say how much they love each other.

This isn't even an isolated incident. Please.

If you are looking at your interaction and going "man this kinda looks like ship" and you want to make sure people don't think it's ship, aging down the character isn't a magic solve, and making them related isn't a magic solve, not when the rest of the tropes you are pulling from are pulled directly from romance and porn. You just invoked a DIFFERENT kink on top of the first one you had. Like you might not know that that's where the tropes come from but guys. Please. The solve for this scene is either changing it substantially until it no longer looks like ship, accepting that it looks off but you don't mean it that way and go "if people misunderstand this it's not my problem" or maybe considering the option that what you want to write is ship. I keep hitting this stuff and going "are you SERIOUS" and then it gets worse.

Or maybe, idk, you're specifically into all the people being related like that. You do you, the contents of your Ao3 account is not hurting anyone. But in that case please for the love of GOD can you please consider tagging it?

[bamsywrites]

And Comes Dawn pt iii

Pairing: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader, more ships/love triangles to come, though, so stay tuned.

Summary: the deciver has decided he must get rid of you until a stranger reignites his curiosity in an unexpected way.

Word count: 2k

Notes: let me know if you wanna be tagged. I was not expecting this many people to like this fic. Thank you so much for the feed back, I read every comment and reblog multiple times. Keep any and all feedback coming. I'm super invested in this series and have so many plans that I'm so excited to write.

Tags/warning: male masturbation, nothing super explicit but sauron has some pretty unhealthy kinks, slow burn, saurons post nut clarity is murder plotting, sauron being sauron. galadriel finally shows up, cliffhanger

Series Masterlist

“She does nothing but sit there, day in and day out. Our rations are wasted on her!” 

“All of us sit and do nothing because there is fucking nothing to do.”

Halbrand and the older man were fighting again. Halbrand had become annoyed that the other had declared himself the de facto leader of the raft, and his anger exploded when it was proclaimed you had not 'earned' your rations. He had obviously found it absolutely insane and when you made no sound or protest, he took it upon himself to make it known how insane it was. 

“I am the leader here. I have organized the rations, I have kept order, and I have directed where we go.” The other man seemed offended. He had proven himself to be rather arrogant, and you held no surprise that he would suggest such a thing or believe that he was the leader of the raft.

“Oh great Lord of the Raft. How difficult your job must be. Deciding if we die a little to the west or a little to the east.” Halbrand rolled his eyes as he spoke. 

“Be sarcastic all you want. She's lucky we don't throw her in.” 

The air stilled and a dark shadow passed over Halbrands face, his jaw clenched and in a moment he had grabbed the other by their shirt, “The moment you do that is the moment I feed you and every single person on this raft to the wyrm.” Their faces merely inches apart,  Halbrands voice was cold, full of hatred, and it sent a chill over everyone on the raft. The older man stared up at him with fear, a fear so palpable and intense that it was as if he was looking into the eyes of the great foe himself. 

“Halbrand,” you spoke softly, fingers gently wrapping around his wrist and moving him away. “This is not what I wish.”

He turned to look at you and his gaze softened,tongue peaking out to wet his lips. The air flowed again, and the darkness lifted, “You wish to starve? Because that's his wish, that's his plan. He wants to make our supply of food last longer by taking the very little portion you have. He knows you would never say anything to him, and you can not ask me to sit back and watch you starve, sweet one.” His eyes searched your face as he spoke with such earnest conviction. 

“I do not wish for you to murder in my name,” you replied in a passionate whisper. 

Halbrand nodded, sighing softly, “Then I will not,” he leaned closer to you, so his lips were next to your ear, and you could feel his hot breath on your skin. Your breath caught in your voice as he whispered softly, “Know that I would, though. If you only asked, I would burn this raft and everyone on it to keep you safe.” 

He pulled away and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head as you stood speechless. The butterflies in your stomach exploded. This was new. Your interactions had been purely platonic until this point. He never presented himself as someone more than a friend, and you had been content with that. Yet you enjoyed the feeling of his lips on your forehead and greatly missed them when they were gone. 

The talk of murdering everyone else was one you didn't wish to dwell on. Perhaps it was hyperbolic. Perhaps said in anger. Either way, those were thoughts for another time. Now, you would embrace the shivers and butterflies. 

“Well, your highness, she will be eating today and I will ensure it,” Halbrand gave the man a pointed look and the other simply nodded, his eyes still swimming as if he'd seen some great horror but you were too fixated on the ghost of Halbrands kiss that lingered on your forehead to pay it much mind. 

~

He'd taken the deception too far when he placed that kiss upon your head. He regretted it the moment he did it. The taste of your skin stained his lips, and it was all he could think of. Your skin felt unbelievably soft and he could just imagine what your lips would taste like, your tongue, your cunt. 

Your cunt. The thought of it had been all consuming. Warm and wet. Soft and velvety. He ached to feel it, to taste it, to take it. The thoughts had led to his current position, standing at the edge of the raft with his cock in his fist. This act felt below him but the thoughts wouldn't leave his mind and he needed some relief from them. From the thoughts of you. 

Thoughts of your cunt. 

Warm and wet. Soft and velvet. 

His eyes fluttered, and his breath caught in his throat. He hated every second of this. He had no control. Ever since you looked up at him with those eyes of yours, eyes he wanted to make weep as you choked on his cock. He breathed a soft curse as he imagined your sweet, innocent eyes looking up at him with your lips wrapped around his cock. His thumb collected the precum from his tip and worked it around his shaft, the soft wet sounds filling the night. 

Would you be inexperienced?  Had someone claimed you before? You were his and his alone, his precious sweet one. The thought of someone else having you first filled him with such rage. He would drench his hands in their blood and paint your body with it as he fucked you. His hands around your neck, squeezing enough to feel your life thrumming underneath his fingers. 

You were his and his alone. No one else could touch you, no other lips taste you, no other cock take you. He'd burn all of Middle Earth to ensure it, torture any man who dared look at you. He'd carve his name into your flesh, lick the blood off your skin. A growl escaped his lips, the thought of his name scared into your soft skin. His hand tightened around his cock and his movements increased in speed. 

His breathing got more ragged as he got closer to his peak,  your name tumbling past his lips in a choked whisper. He could almost imagine you whining and whimpering his name, his real name.  That was what sent him over, the visual of you impaled on his cock and desperately calling his name. He groaned loudly, his seed shooting into the water. 

Breathing heavily, his eyes closed. Almost immediately, the cacophony of thoughts entered his mind. That had been a brief reprieve, but now his existential crisis continued. What was his purpose? Who was he now that his master was dead? Power and control, how could he have both without sacrificing the other?  

And then your smiling face flashed through his mind, the sound of your laugh...-

This couldn't continue. No amount of curiosity was worth this loss of control. He was a god, but his mind as of late had been reminiscent of a teenage boy. Thoughts may plague him, but he would forget you within the age. He needed you gone, dead. The longer you stayed alive, the longer these damn lustful thoughts would plague him and be his undoing. He was slowly losing his sanity because of you. 

The problem was he couldn't do it. He tried mere minutes before giving into these urges, but as he looked at your sleeping face, he couldn't bring himself to push you in and under the waves. In thousands of years, no one had been able to still his blade or stay his hand with such ease. He couldn't look at you and take your life. He could not be the one to do it, that thought alone proving to be more a reason for your death. Weakness was not something he would tolerate. 

His mind called out to wyrm, calling it to their location. If he couldn't do it, he'd give the task to something else. By nightfall tomorrow, you'd be gone. You'd be at the bottom of the sea or in the belly of the beast. By nightfall, he'd have his mind back. 

Why did the thought of your death fill him with such dread?

~

He wouldn't even look at you. You'd greeted him in the morning, and he ignored you. You sat next to him, and he moved to the other side of the raft. You watched as his eyes bore into planks of the raft. You wet your lips and pulled it between your teeth. He was your first friend in a very long time, and now you had lost him for reasons that escaped you.  You were utterly alone, lost at sea, and you struggled to find hope here. All you could do is close your eyes and remind yourself that falling into despair would do nothing more than make the situation worse and more hopeless.

You watched the clouds pass in the sky, counting them, and your fingers tapped away at the wood. Every few moments, you had to blink away the tears that had started welling in your eyes as you thought of losing another person you cared for. Suddenly, you sat up as you heard what you thought was a voice in the air. You squinted as your eyes examined the fog.

“There's a voice on the water.” You spoke quietly. 

Almost instantly, bickering broke amongst the others. To save her or not. You shook your head, “We're not leaving her to starve and die!” 

One of the others pulled her up and gave her water as you grabbed her a chunk of bread and looked for a piece of cloth or something that could bring the stranger some warmth. The bickering continued as you searched and returned with a piece of bread.

“Suppose you'll be sharing your rations?” the old man asked. 

You couldn't help the roll of your eyes, “Damn the rations,” you kneeled and handed the stranger the bread. “It's not much, but it's something. Are you hurt?” 

Before she could answer, one of the others asked, “What are you doing out here?”  

The stranger took the bread, “I was separated from my ship.” 

You looked at her with empathy. Of course, you could understand. She looked over at you as if to answer your question next, but she stopped, her eyes examining your face as if she knew you but was unable to place how. It made you uncomfortable, made your heart still. Has your past caught up with you all the way out here? 

“She doesn't look dangerous,” the other woman spoke.

“Looks can be deceiving,” Halbrand spoke, and you were about to protest when you saw the point to her ears. Your blood ran cold, and you moved back from her. 

“Remove your hand from me, sir,” the stranger spoke, her attention returning to you. “I know your face.”

You quickly stood up and stepped back. This could not be happening. Not here. Not now. Perhaps the elf could save you, or perhaps she would convince the others to throw you into the sea. The sins of your father would never stop chasing you, it seemed. 

~

“I know your face."

His head snapped your direction at this revelation. What did that mean? How would an elf know you? He watched your reaction, the fear and shame passing over your face confirming that there was a story there. He cursed silently.

All day, he avoided looking at you. All day, he had convinced himself that you were nothing more than a naive human, that the warmth he felt had to be in relation to this new form getting used to the world around him. There was nothing special about you. Nothing at all. He repeated it over and over, though he never really believed it. He could sense the darkness and calamity swimming through the ocean towards them, the beast he had called, and he had convinced himself that your death would solve his internal struggle. 

But now, this damn elf had reignited the curiosity with vigor. It felt as if an inferno burnt through him. He had to know more. He knew when the wyrm came, he would be unable to leave you to death. You were the most curious thing, and it was infuriating. 

Who were you? 

previous next

[anna-pineappel]

Head-canons!

Head-canons!

Head-canons!

Buckle up, I have quite a few headcanons for Hogan’s Heroes and the characters! I also have some Klogan-ship specific headcanons but I’ll focus on the characters. I’m also going to follow @frau-wilhelm-klink’s format. This gets long, sorry not sorry!

I also have specific head-canons for my fics, especially my long ones since there’s a lot happening and it’s too easy to derail and I need something to keep me on track! 😅 I could easily make separate posts for Walk Through Fire and Peace in the Moonlight (including its Prequel, which is now titled Terror in the Shadows)

General:

Either Klink/Burkhalter is Nimrod - it fluctuates depending on the Plot of a fic I’m writing. But I can see arguments of either or. (Why Burkhalter keeps Klink in his post, why he lets Hogan stick around in Klink’s office when he comes around. Why Klink tolerates Hogan’s antics, why he’s so high strung).

The Germans spoke German a lot more (obviously the show was in English for an English-speaking audience). However, Klink and Schultz would often speak English for Hogan and his men’s sake. Hogan and the gang all understand German in varying degrees but are fairly fluent in it.

The POWs definitely formed a found-family situation at Stalag 13. They all need each other and even though a horrible thing brought them together, they wouldn’t have it any other way. Klink and Schultz somehow became part of the found family too. (They are like that uncle that you’re not quite sure about, but turn out to be pretty cool and let you drink beer behind your parents’ backs).

The Germans (the Main 4):

Klink (trying to stay human in an inhumane business):

Is not the complete dummkopf that everyone makes him out to be. If he’s Nimrod, he’s just anxious about anyone else finding out. Burkhalter and Hochstetter also drive him crazy and he just wants to get through the war without freezing to death on the Russian Front.

When passionate/angry, Klink doesn’t remember the English language. Any yelling that happens is most definitely in German. Also, he can get incredibly angry/intimidating when he absolutely needs to.

Feels protective over his prisoners. He has a sense of duty and frankly, doesn’t care for the Nazi’s ideology. He’s grown fond of Hogan (especially; whether platonically or romantically) and his men and wants to makes sure they live through the war.

Schultz (Gentle Giant Teddy Bear):

Got caught up in the Draft, is definitely not a Nazi, nor does he believe in the Regime. Holds a grudge for having his toy factory repossessed for the war effort. Also can’t stand all the violence/fighting that comes with the War and just wants it over.

He knows about Hogan’s men and their operation but since he opposes the Nazi Regime, he implements his ‘I know nothing, I see nothing!’ Policy and plays the fool, but often helps out in any way he can.

He and Klink are actually good friends, bonding over their hatred for the war and what has become of Germany. Klink acts tough towards Schultz but deep down, has a soft spot for him, keeping him in his post.

Burkhalter (Has no time for nonsense and will sass you):

Is 110% done with everyone and their bullshit, especially Hochstetter. He has his own agenda (whether as Nimrod or as a General), and is tired of everyone else getting in his way. He doesn’t necessarily care about people or things; that would get in the way of his Strategy.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t completely hate Klink. He’s also feeling pressure from his superiors and since Stalag 13 is a Model Prison Camp with Zero Escapes, there’s a spot-light on it and Klink. He genuinely wonders how Klink does it.

He is also… fascinated by Hogan (in a ideology/military strategy way). All he knows of America is what the Regime has told him, which is all propaganda bullshit, so he’s genuinely intrigued by Hogan and his homeland.

Hochstetter (my angry smol bean man; I’m deep into this man rn for my WIP):

Definitely has an unhealthy obsession with Hogan (to the point that it is homoerotic in a way/may be due to internalized homophobia) and is desperate to prove that he is the Underground agent Papa Bear to his superiors, who may be getting to the point of dismissing the theory since there’s no evidence.

Like Klink and Burkhalter, he is feeling the pressure from his superiors to prove that Hogan is Papa Bear, and that is why he is wound tighter than a ball of yarn. He usually is a great detective, but is letting his skills/other cases slide with his Hogan Obsession™️

Is insanely jealous of Klink for having Hogan in his custody. A man as dangerous as he claims Hogan to be should be handed over to Gestapo for questioning. Why does KLINK, of all people, get to have Papa Bear?! He also questions if there’s something going on between Klink and Hogan, but like his case for Papa Bear, he has no proof.

The POWs:

Hogan (military mastermind with a mouth that won’t shut up):

Would sacrifice himself in a heartbeat if it meant his men (and Klink and Schultz) would be safe, a bit of a martyr. He sees himself as a father/big brother figure to his men and loves them as if there his own family. He also gets fed up with them, like they’re his own family.

Can sometimes let his emotions get the better of him, and explains why he sometimes seems to be flying off the handle. Seriously, without Kinch to hold him back, Hogan is bit unhinged.

Has gotten roughed up by the Germans (the SS/Gestapo) at least once, and holds a personal grudge against the Nazi Regime. He has his own mental blocks, but his motives are to make sure no one goes through what he did.

(Bonus): Has a certain level of respect for Klink and genuinely thinks they could be friends or more after the war. He loves his men, but enjoys the company of another officer from time to time.

Kinch (Holder of the Brain Cell):

Is the gang’s rationalized thinking. He questions the sanity of himself and those around him on a daily basis, and wonders what he did to be surrounded by these maniacs (that he loves).

With his race, he, along with Hogan, knows how horrible people like the Nazis can be. He would like to go unhinged like many (especially Hogan, Newkirk and Carter), but he takes the high road, to not feed into horrific stereotypes.

Often had to prove himself to others, but not with Hogan. Hogan knew Kinch was brilliant with technology and doesn’t see race, and Kinch appreciates being treated like anyone else.

Newkirk (Lovable Bastard):

He’s been at Stalag 13 the longest, which makes sense given that England/France/Canada joined the war years before the United States. Next of the core gang for longest time at Stalag 13 is Hogan, so the two have a bond over that.

Has a (petty) criminal past, which explains the lock-picking/pick pocking skills. Forced to join the military as an alternative to jail time and he was told he could kill as many Nazis as he’d like. He gladly accepted since… yeah, Nazis suck.

Bonded well with Carter since they both have a love for mayhem and destruction. He only picks on Carter because he is teasing, but knows to stop when he really strikes a chord. Carter brings out a sensitive side to Newkirk that he wouldn’t admit to the others.

Carter (Pyromaniac with a Heart of Gold):

Is neurodivergent (whether it’s on the autism spectrum, ADHD, or a little bit of both), and is happy to be be included, and accepted in the gang, even if he doesn’t understand all the social conventions. He seems a bit dim/naive, but in fact, is one of the smartest people of the bunch.

Has special interests with chemistry and explosions, which is why he can ramble on and on about them. He gets dejected when the rest of the gang dismisses him, but often, Newkirk or Hogan come to him later and let him ramble and show an interest.

Has a close bond with both Hogan and Newkirk, he sees Hogan as an older brother and often forgets they are in the military together. Explains why he often calls him boy vs. Sir because he just… feels like family.

LeBeau (Resident Short King):

Like Hogan, has a personal grudge with the Nazis since they did occupy France after all. He might have also had a run in with the SS/Gestapo, which Hogan knows about. It took him a long time to come around to Klink not being a bad guy; he was instant friends with Schultz after the first batch of strudel.

His one pet peeve with the rest of the guys is that none of them really bothered to learn French. So whenever he’s mad, he just starts muttering in French under his breath and shaking his head. Oddly enough, he found out Klink speaks fluent French and the two of them would often talk in French, much to Hogan’s frustrations (of not understanding what the hell they are talking about).

Has aspirations to be a chef, and maybe was one before the war/occupation. He takes a great joy in cooking which is why he doesn’t mind cooking if Hogan/Klink ask him too. He would rather not cook for Nazi-scum, but he knows that Hogan (and to a lesser extent, Klink) have ulterior motives.

What are your top 3 headcanons for Hogan's Heroes in general?

What are your top 3 headcanons for each character?

[licorice-tea]

I Wish You Knew I Was Real

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader

Content: strawhat! reader, fluff and feelings, confessions, midnight snacks (literally), mentions of WCI but no huge spoilers, reader has no specified gender

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: first fic of the new year! i don’t usually write for sanji so i hope this isn’t ooc… anyway, enjoy! also lmk what you think bc idrk how i feel about this one 🤷‍♀️

It’s well past midnight when you sneak into the kitchen of the Thousand Sunny to fix yourself a snack. It wouldn’t really matter if you get caught, seeing as it’s your ship too, but you’d rather not wake up or bother your crewmates.

“Y/n?”

You pause your chopping to find the source of the voice, Sanji, standing in the doorway. He yawns behind his hand as he walks in, “It’s the middle of the night, what are you doing up here?”

“I just got hungry.” But as soon as he’s close enough to see your hands working on cutting up fruit, he seems appalled. “What’s wrong?”

In Sanji’s mind, you should never have to cook for yourself. At least, not when he’s there on the same ship. Not when he would always be so willing and ready to help you out; to use his skills to please you.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? You know I can do it for you, sweetheart-“

“That’s why I tried not to wake you up. You need to get your rest, but I guess I was too noisy, huh?”

Sanji shakes his head determinedly, then gently moves his left hand over yours to take the knife while also holding your waist with his right so that he can maneuver you away from the cutting board. You let him, and he explains, “I get plenty of rest; if you ever need something, y/n, you can come to me. Day or night.”

You hum in acceptance of his statement, and feel content with simply watching him cut the apple into slices from your place beside him. He finishes creating the perfect little slices quickly, then goes the extra mile by carving small triangles out of the peel of each. A smile grows on your lips as you realize they’re meant to look like little bunnies; and they do.

“Cute,” you muse quietly at his creation “Thank you, Sanji.”

The cook smiles to himself before looking over at you, “I thought you’d like them more this way.”

This makes you laugh before replying, “Like a kid who only eats dinosaur shaped nuggets?”

“No, no,” he chuckles as well, “but I know you have an appreciation for aesthetics. Besides, I was right wasn’t I? You think they’re cute, so that’s all that matters.” Sanji says while plating the bunny-apple slices.

You scoot closer, so that your sides are pressed against each other, in a futile attempt to reach across and grab the plate. But, Sanji stops you again with his gentle touch (he’s always so very soft with you, rather than overbearing and borderline obsessive. But, you’d like love him either way.)

His right hand stays on your wrist as his left reaches up into a cabinet to grab the honey jar. He makes a display of lifting a generous amount of honey using the honey dipper over your plate, and drizzling it over the apples. Enough to satisfy your sweet tooth, but not so much it will create a sticky mess.

“Perfect.” he gestures for you to go sit at the kitchen island, but you insist you can “carry the plate just fine.” To which Sanji replies, “I know, but I don’t mind. I like taking care of you like this.”

There’s a faint tinge of red on his cheeks, but you’d never mention it. Especially not when your own, not so platonic feelings for the cook seem to constantly be in the back of your mind these days.

You take a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island, and Sanji presents your midnight snack with a flourish. “Enjoy, y/n.” He’s walks away to wash his hands, and you expect him to return to sit beside you, but then he walks toward the door.

“Sanji…” He pauses and looks back at you, “Do you want to stay?” You feel sort of awful asking, really, because he’s probably tired, but something inside you just can’t let him go.

And sure enough, his lips curve up into a smile. “I thought you’d never ask!”

He pulls out the stool next to yours and slides onto it, then rests his arm on the back of your seat. The proximity is not unwelcome- you felt it never could be when it came from him- but even if he was, he’s not invading your space. More so creating a kind of link between the two of you, and a feeling of closeness beyond the physical.

You take a bite of one of your apple slices, only to frown slightly when you pull the half eaten slice away from your mouth and realize you’ve destroyed the bunny. Sanji nearly laughs, for he has a similar empathetic disposition and knows how you feel, but then he notices something.

There’s a smidge of honey left behind on the corner of your mouth, which you have not taken notice of, because if you had you surely would’ve licked it up. Even the thought of that sight could make him act a fool, but he’ll try his best not to (just for you.)

“Look here.” he says in a near whisper, and you do. With no other words, he cups your chin and wipes the honey from your lips with his thumb. Your eyes go wide at the first action (when he touches your face to begin with), but they seem to soften when you realize what he’s doing. Sanji takes notice of this too, and just offers a smile. Because what else can he do?

He’s a flirt; he knows that, and so do you, and everyone else he’s ever met. So if he ever were to make a move on you, there’s no way you’d take him seriously. Then again, that’s why he tries to tone down his flirting with you in the first place. He can’t stand the thought of you being under the impression that you’re the same as every girl in the world is to him; because you’re not. You’re… special, in a way. He feels bad saying you’re his favorite of the many objects of his affections, because he has genuine love for so many people (you are though.) But, he can say with certainty that his feelings for you are the only serious ones. No matter how many women he tries to woo on all the adventures of the Straw Hats, he’ll always come back to you. Sanji will always choose you.

“Um, Sanji?” His hand is still on your jaw with his thumb on your bottom lip, so you pull it away with gentle force. “Sanji?” Hearing your sweet voice pulls him out of his stupor (the first time, he was concentrated on simply the sound of your voice.)

“Sorry, sweetness, I uh… Your pretty lips distracted me for a second~” Sanji purposely exaggerates his tone a little, so you just accept his reasoning with a giggle.

“Sure thing, Sanji.”

You eat your apple slices in comfortable silence for a bit, thinking of the aforementioned feelings you’ve been harboring for the chef since… Who knows- but you didn’t realize these feelings until you saw him for the first time after 2 years spent training apart. There had never been such a strong excitement in your voice as when you called his name that day, and he launched himself onto you in a tight hug. You had walked to the predetermined meeting place and entered the bar together, hand in hand. It felt so natural, too; like your hands were meant to fit together. Of course, you’d never voice these feelings, because if Sanji had feelings for you surely he’d tell you. Eventually, you hope. This brings about another question in your mind;

“Why do you like women? I mean, like, every woman we meet, even if she’s an enemy?”

He shrugs slightly, “At one point, the only people who were kind to me were women. Remember I told you about my mom and my sister?” During the Whole Cake Island experience, Sanji had in fact explained more about his relationships with his family members, and you recalled how his mother and sister were the only ones that showed him any sort of empathy.

“Mhm… That makes sense.” a moment of silence passes, as you’re a little nervous to ask this next question. “And why do you like me?”

The cook’s eyes widen like a deer in headlights, and he glances at you before concentrating on the surface of the island table. “I… I like this crew because you’re all my nakama. But…” It’s unusual to hear the typically very passionate man say something so quietly. You tilt your head as if to say, “Go on. I’m listening,” so he continues, “You’re important to me, y/n.”

“Good, you’re important to me, too.”

“Really?” Sanji seems a little shocked, “You know, I… I try not to be the way I am with women, with you, because I want you to take me seriously. I want you to know I mean it when I say nice things or do favors for you. I want you to know that it’s real.”

“I do take you seriously.”

Then, he takes a deep breath and puts both of his hands around one of yours, “And I want you to take my feelings for you seriously, when I confess them to you.”

“…Didn’t you just…?”

He grins and shakes his head, “No, y/n. When I confess the type of feelings I have for you and the extent of them, I’ll do it much more romantically than this.” Sanji looks positively giddy now, smiling and tightly (but not uncomfortably) holding your hand. “I just want you to know that what I feel for you is real.” And with that, he plants a chaste kiss on your cheek. It’s nothing like his occasionally vulgar and pg-13 methods of wooing women, but it makes your heart skip a beat. You’re sort of at a loss for words…

This time you’re the one pulled out of a daze by the other’s voice when he says, “Goodnight, y/n.”

“Oh, goodnight Sanji.” You smile at him, and he smiles back before nodding at you and leaving.

Even if that wasn’t a real confession, and maybe the timing wasn’t quite right, you were still biting back a smile as you rinsed off your plate and placed it in the dishwasher. But now you have a real confession to look forwards to, according to Sanji.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Dear Raven ven venny ven, do you have any favourite ships in the twst cast? If so, why?

I don’t have any ships among the TWST cast that I’m crazy about! That doesn’t mean I “hate” all the combinations, it’s just that I feel neutral about most of them. I would say I’m pretty open to considering rare pairs and all kinds of tropes (enemies to lovers, childhood friends, etc.), but I’ve yet to find one in TWST that solidly lands with me.

Certainly there are dynamics I enjoy—the Science Club boys, for example—but do I see them being romantically engaged with one another? Eeeeeh, debatable. I could really go either way.

It’s actually easy to (temporarily) influence my takes on certain ships 😂 Sometimes I’ll listen to my friends talk ad nauseam about a ship they’re super into and their excitement is so infectious that it rubs off on me. I’ll go, “Wow, that really is a cute interaction! I can see why you ship them.” This had happened before with Malleus x Cater a few years back, though now I’ve returned to a neutral state on it since the shipper friend hasn’t been as active talking about the two. I appreciate my friends for popping off because even if I don’t have the same passion as they do for the ship, it helps me see the characters and their interactions under a new lens or from a different angle. (I actually wrote a fic where Cater takes Malleus to a maid cafe, inspired by my friend’s speeches about the duo. It’s meant to be platonic, but I think it could also be read as romantic if you choose to view it that way.)

I get easily influenced by fan art too, even if I don’t know the creator on a personal level. A few weeks back, I saw this Jade x Jamil post and it was so wholesome and tooth rottingly sweet (even though it was a ship I did not gave the time of day to before) 😭 And then I started to think about their similarities (both vice dorm leaders, both passive aggressive, both manipulators, etc.) and gradually convinced myself “Hey, it could work!” Now that I’ve had some time to be weaned off of the fan art though, I’m back to that baseline feeling of neutrality. It’s the exposure therapy wearing off/j

On the topic of Yuu (they’re technically a part of the TWST cast), I’m particularly lukewarm about any ships involving them—and Yuu ships are the only exception to my “I’m easily influenced to change my mind” rule; I’m always neutral about Yuu ships. They’re a blank slate, so the dynamics they have with other characters changes drastically depending on what “kind” of Yuu they are. I don’t have a Yuusona of my own, nor do I project onto Yuu, so I find little value in their character (or lack thereof). This extends to ships too; because I don’t see (my) Yuu as a “real” character, I also don’t see the potential in shipping them with those in the cast. I’ll support everyone’s right to their own Yuu and related ships, but I don’t necessarily get gung-ho about them unless I know the creators well. This is because the familiarity I have with them then extends to their Yuus; I can see bits of them and their own personalities and experiences in their Yuus, and that makes me feel like I have a more meaningful bond with whatever their interpretation (and romantic involvement!) is.

Of course, there are also some ships that I don’t like or that personally make me uncomfortable (for example, incest ships) 💦 I don’t want to like… yuck your yums, so I won’t go into explicit detail about which other ships I’m not a fan of or would prefer as platonic. Regardless of how I may feel about those, I don’t want to give the impression that I’m going to judge you for what you do or don’t ship. You do you—just be sure to respect boundaries and don’t push what you ship onto others, especially if they have indicated they’re not into the same things you are.

Just to make things clear, please do NOT send me asks like “Here is my ship and here is why you should consider it!” and “How do you feel about [Character A] x [Character B]?” or any variant (which includes polycules, love triangles, etc.). I will also not be responding to asks pressing me for which ships I dislike. I won’t be providing a tier list either since there are way too many possible combinations to account for. Shipping talk with strangers/the public makes me anxious and I’d rather not have that level of stress on a consistent basis.

Thank you for understanding ^^

[spockandawe]

You know what I can't get enough of? Speculation about what the fictional novel Proud Immortal Demon Way says about its fictional author. Because it would be completely possible to make a story like this without that connection. I'm not sure I've read any other transmigration story where the author was a character, so just that addition adds a lot of interesting texture to the situation even without getting deep in the author's head, but it's so interesting how deep I can speculate in so many directions if I think about getting in his head.

And oh man, I could talk for AGES about how Shang Qinghua and his iconic protagonist reflect each other, but a lot of people have written about that already! Including in the medium of fic, which is my favorite way to consume that kind of crunch. So let's talk about familial neglect and mistreatment and the author's favorite character.

Honestly, when I look at how iconic this ship is, I'm astonished there aren't more hit novels where the author gets yeeted into their own book and has to navigate platonic or romantic relationships with their own characters. A lot of the parallels between Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe are about them being alike in ugly and vulnerable ways, ways I don't think either of them likes about themselves, and regarding aspects of their personalities that I don't think they'd be happy discussing period. Like, Binghe very much hates himself, that's right there on the page. And Shang Qinghua is a ridiculous character, he's very funny, but he's also not stupid. He's very aware of who he is and what he is, and makes a decision to behave the ways he does. I'm typing this up because I was scrolling through an old chat looking for something and tripped across a conversation about shang qinghua and fawn trauma response.

He knows he does this thing! He has an easy opening to turbokill Mobei-jun while he's unconscious and decides to go the route of begging for his life and trying to ingratiate himself after Mobei-jun wakes up instead, which is a much trickier process. He says it himself, that Mobei-jun is his ideal, that he embodies everything Shang Qinghua wants to be, that etc. And that's hilarious and all, especially in light of the eventual romance and the clownery it takes to get there, but in classic svsss fashion, it also becomes a lot sadder when you add up all the pieces and see everything Shang Qinghua hates about himself.

In some ways he's an even more avoidant narrator than Shen Qingqiu, he deflects and jokes like a motherfucker, so it really is a matter of assembling all the pieces and seeing where there are gaps. But what really underscored the connection for me was Mobei-jun's reaction to parental neglect. Because that's what pushed Shang Qinghua into being an author in the first place, his parents divorced and remarried and kinda just.... forgot about him.

Mobei-jun's dad doesn't exactly do that, but he is operating without a mom in the picture, and rather than remarrying, he just chooses to ignore the thing where his shitty brother is persistently trying to kill his son. That really sucks! But Mobei-jun never shows the smallest hint of weakness or vulnerability over this, even when it would have really helped to use his words, like 'hi my uncle is coming to kill me and i trust you to protect me.' He's everything cool, aloof, arrogant, proud, all a bunch of adjectives that really do not apply to Shang Qinghua. Mobei-jun honestly looks like a boring character if you just stick to the main story, because he's so self-contained and controlled. Compare and contrast to Shang Qinghua, who accidentally outs himself as a transmigrator like two minutes after showing up and proceeds to be hilarious for the rest of the book.

(Brief aside to say that I don't think Mobei-jun is necessarily a happier or healthier person for all of this, lmao. The conversation that fawn reaction thing came from was talking about freeze (tee hee) versus fawn in response to threats or stressful situations. But that goes along with the svsss theme of people used to engaging with this universe as a fictional property coming to terms with the depth and complexity of other people's emotions and not just seeing them as simplistic not-real characters in a book)

(Additionally, this makes the ship hilarious as a take on 'opposites attract,' but also it gives me actual Emotions that Shang Qinghua's ideal who he wishes he could be, purely incidentally, he is able to value and love Shang Qinghua in a way that Shang Qinghua can't and doesn't seem to totally understand)

And what's very interesting here. Is that Shang Qinghua made these two characters, Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun. His protagonist ultimately reflects a lot of his own vulnerabilities and insecurities (secretly and quietly in pidw, much more.... overtly in svsss), and Mobei-jun corrects for his vulnerabilities and insecurities. He's the person Shang Qinghua wishes he could be, which is basically... the opposite of Shang Qinghua, to an almost comical degree. And he then gives Mobei-jun the VERY BEST plot armor he can devise. It's hard for a male character to exist near a stallion protagonist without getting swept up in rivalries/suspicions/etc and getting killed by the protagonist, but he makes sure that his favorite character is safe from these things. He's protecting the character he wishes he could be from the character whose faults most reflect his own. That is very sweet and weird and sad, and that's very reflective of the svsss experience, I think.

[furst1ded]

Thoughts on Shipping Alastor from an AroAce person

(this entire thing is copy and pasted excerpts from a Discord rant so if the grammar is funky, that's why, I just felt like giving my 2 cents on the topic)

Aroace people can still participate in romantic and sexual interactions. All being aro/ace/aroace means is you don't feel romantic/sexual attraction upon seeing other people. You can feel it later on or in waves or could never feel that attraction but still can participate and love others in a fulfilling way. Some aroace people are fine performing intimacy onto others but dislike reciprocation, others are the opposite where they're fine receiving but not giving. It's a spectrum.

The nuances of asexuality and aromanticism aside, you can be in a relationship without being in a relationship. Platonic relationships beyond friendship are a thing (QPRs for example). But like, I get it. Not everyone who ships Alastor keeps it confined to a QPR. And his character seems pretty sex-repulsed and romance-averse. But here's the other thing. He's fictional. As long as his character remains aroace in canon, fans taking the silly radio man and making him kiss the devil isn't taking away from aroace representation.

This next bit is coming from me as an AroAce person myself. I ship Alastor. I write/read him kissing people and fucking and acting romantic. And guess what? It's related to expressing my sexuality. Alastor is one of my favorite characters in anything ever and I love that there's a character that represents a facet of myself in a popular media. I relate to him so goddamn much and that's why I ship him. He's a fictional character I like that I project onto, so I use him as a way to navigate and explore romantic/sexual relationships that I'm never going to participate in myself. He's not real so I just puppet him around to live through vicariously in the scenarios I don't want to be a part of myself but find super interesting. It's not anything new, I do the same with my own characters in the stories I write them in, it's part of storytelling, I just use him for a specific type of story for a specfic part of myself.

It's not like we're hurting anybody by shipping him. We're not drastically effecting canon and making him an alloromantic. I've seen plenty of fics that ship him that either make it a QPR or they thoroughly explore the nuances of his asexuality and what subtype of sexuality he is and how he navigates it and I love those fics because they speak to me on a spiritual level. Grayromantic Alastor, demisexual alastor, sex-repulsed but romance-favorable Alastor, sex-repulsed and romance-averse Alastor in a one-sided ship fic, etc they're all so important to me because it helps me live out my own sexuality and romantic orientation and explore myself.

I get it. Not everyone is respectful. Not everyone feels the way I do and use characters in this way. It can suck seeing people just ignore his sexuality when asexuals and aromantics don't get much in terms of screen-time. But you can't control everybody and what work they put out. And trying to censor stuff like that does more harm than good. I just explained why fics involving Alastor are so important to me. They normalize QPRs and aroaces being in relationships. That's probably what pisses me off the fucking most. If we're not allowed to write about aroaces being in relationships or romantic/sexual situations, you put aroaces into a box. A box where every aroace is perceived as sexless and loveless, which just isn't true. A box where aroaces are prudes or infants who can't handle hearing the word "sex". It's just so frustrating. You can be mad at fics that expressly rewrite or stomp on his sexuality, sure. You can't stop them, but you can disapprove of them. But let the rest of us have our fun making the literal devil and TV head man have the hots for a man whose teeth are yellower than the sun, Jesus Christ.

TL;DR: asexuality is a spectrum, I'm aroace and use shipping as a way to explore and express myself and I know I'm not the only one, trying to suppress works where an Aroace character is seen participating in romance or sex can actually be harmful in that it promotes only one idea of what being aroace is, and at the end of the day the character I'm talking about doesn't even exist.

[fermiomoriblog]

The pitfalls of every Sunny ship

Diving straight into the hot coals with the first post. But it has been on my mind lately.

The setup in Omori is naturally quite mentally (and in some cases physically) taxing on every main cast character, and a shipper can very easily be overenthusiastic about getting a "happy ending" for their preferred pair, glossing over inconvenient problems and dynamics. I think that it really is rather contrary to the game's themes that this occurs, but it is also understandable that not everybody does a full psychoanalysis of every plot point in their story. I'll list some "common" problems I've personally encountered with people making content about sunburn, suntan and sunflower. I'm more familiar with the dynamics common on ao3 than elsewhere, so if you have any other observations or things to add, please feel free to do so.

# OMORI SPOILERS BELOW #

Sunburn

The "canon" ship. The fact that the ship is explicitly mentioned in game means that the ship is viewed as the "default", and it can lead to some lazy dynamics or lack of justification. You have to remember that no matter what headspace says (and headspace says a lot of things that aren't true), the first thing Sunny and Aubrey did after four years is beat the shit out of each other. Sunny knows nothing about the Hooligans, even though we do, and Aubrey thinks Sunny abandoned her (which is a feeling unlikely to abate after the truth). There needs to be basis for the ship as well - they aren't going to just pick up where they left off (presuming they had anything to leave off in the first place) right away. Which leads us to the first common problem:

Basing the relationship entirely on the past

This is the default reaction and requires the least writing creativity, so it is not surprising that it is common. Simply porting the HS dynamic or the swing scene to the future and copy-pasting is fun and cute and all, but it ignores the fact that both Sunny and Aubrey have changed massively. There's a lot of guilt that is going around, both with Sunny for obvious reasons and Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, and Aubrey has a bunch of new, closer friends whom depending on your interpretation are either theatre kids or delinquents. This is not really just going to get talked away on the swing set - they involve third parties.

I would venture to argue that this is actually a very problematic pitfall, despite it being generally not a very serious transgression in real life. Omori, as a game, is about moving on from the past. If you write a fic where the characters forget about bad things in the past but hang on like hell to the good things... that's Headspace. You've just put Sunny in a new Headspace.

Getting Basil out of the way

Even among sunburn/suntan shippers, it is pretty generally accepted that Basil was somewhat attached to Sunny even before the accident. So if you don't want to do sunflower, how do you deal with that?

You can write angst, where Aubrey and Basil end up fighting over Sunny. Weirdly, I've never seen this actually happen (probably because it's too heartbreaking). You can have Basil go to therapy, and get rid of an unhealthy attachment. You can also go the seriously angsty route of Basil hating Sunny for abandonment, Sunny hating Basil for his role in the incident, or a less intense version which just puts a barrier between the two. You can also have Sunny reject Basil. Or you can argue that the attachment was platonic, which is entirely fair.

What you cannot do is have Basil be romantically interested in Sunny, but "get out of the way" for Aubrey "so that Sunny can be happy". Or, well, you can do that, but you can't frame it as anything but serious angst from Basil's POV.

Unfortunately, many, many "pure fluff" Sunburn fics do this, because "pure fluff" fics don't want to untangle the whole thing as most methods involve some degree of emotional turnmoil. This is no ordinary infautation - Basil has waited for Sunny for four years. Nursing unrequited love like that is really, really painful. It is certainly not something that someone with Basil's character and history can do with a smile on their face. If you need any further convincing, I point you to Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia.

A version of this which I think is a lesser sin (because it is at least framed with some nuance), but a sin regardless, is Aubrey getting annoyed at Basil for "stealing" Sunny's attention from her. This gets dangerously close to the reddit comments you see about "the friend group will be better off if Basil never joined".

Suntan

Despite sunburn being the "canon" and sunflower being the natural alternative, I actually think that this is the default. After all, Kel was the one to bring Sunny out, generally saving his life, and is his first friend, etc. Kel is also a clean slate character, with nothing anyone can particularly hold against them, and as a result suntan is the "healthiest", "least questionable" ship. This commits the customary mistake of believing Kel's parents when they say "eh, it's Kel, he'll be fine".

"Kel's fine"

No, he's not. He's spent the better part of four years trying to forget the happiest times of his childhood, and has been going around doing nothing but fixing and saving other people, putting others' needs far above his own, for the entirety of pre-canon and foreseeably for a good part of post canon as well. Suntan, especially with Sunny still in a vulnerable state post-canon, can very easily be written into Kel being Sunny's unpaid, untrained therapist, and his mood/health being Kel's only/majority source of validation. Kel's self-worth independent of his friends needs addressing and development, and without a lot of development, Sunny alone is not really equipped to provide that.

In all fairness, while I would be somewhat confident in saying that the majority of canon-compliant sunburn fics run into the problems above, suntan fics do usually handle it better. That might just be because there aren't that many suntan fics though.

Sunflower

It goes without saying that sunflower has the highest potential to be unhealthy. But precisely because of that fact, people writing sunflower are usually very careful to address it. Either the fic is written as a work exploring codependency/attachment/trauma/other general unhealthiness (which you can make your own judgement on whether it's a legitimate art form or problematic), or there is at minimum an attempt at pacing, therapy and general juggling of the various mental issues the game leaves Sunny and Basil with (for a shining example, see These Days Without You by Smitty1899, my go to answer for when anyone says "but sunflower toxic!!1!").

The issues that can make sunflower unhealthy and problematic are generally pretty obvious - shared crime, codependency and attachment, commitment and abandonment issues, and the whole "getting together before their friends forgive them" thing (which can still be done well, but from the POV of especially Hero can be kind of eh, and unlikely to be conducive to a healthy relationship given that it kind of depends on their friends' pending "approval".) As a result, there aren't a lot of works that don't address them in one manner or another. However, I do think there is one major pitfall that some fics fall into in the other direction:

Having everything in the relationship be dependent on someone else's approval.

In an attempt to make sunflower as healthy as possible, some authors make it so that Sunny and Basil effectively never make decisions on their own. There's always a third party present to psychoanalyse them, tell them what's fine and what's not, etc. and every step they make in their relationship is with the express blessing, support and help of the rest of their friends. The problem is, that's not healthy either.

I feel that the value of sunflower is greatest in the context of the themes of the game of moving on and forgiveness. Making it so that Sunny and Basil hang on to their guilt forever and robbing them of any "right" to decide for themselves what makes them happy is very much contrary to that - they're on crutches for the rest of their lives, and the point of the good ending is the hope that they won't need to be. It also is just not a good thing for any third party to intervene so extensively in a relationship.

Conclusion

Omori is emotionally deep, with many, many themes to explore. Ships in Omori have unique meanings and themes, which in a canon compliant context is quite hard to simply wipe away. Rushing into a ship with insufficient pacing and development, which works in "cute" fandoms, generally leaves lots of outstanding holes in Omori.

This post doesn't necessarily mean that I think less of any particular ship mentioned - to reiterate, every ship has unique meanings and themes which is interesting to explore and form a part of the message of the game. It is however true that some pitfalls in some ships are easier to fall in, and overlooked, than others, and the obvious problems get a lot more bashing than the non-obvious ones. (Yes, sunflower bias. Sue me.)

And of course, in a plotless or AU context, cute art is cute art.

[mono-dot-jpeg]

child support - kafka & himeko

summary; you miss your parents but it's okay, you got new ones now.

genre/extra tags; fluff, found family, himeko & kafka give me divorced couple energy but in a good way, possibly ooc kafhime, almost mute! reader, kafka pays the child support, comfort vibes only, slight angst ig????

[gender neutral reader] [platonic] [7-8 yrs old! reader]

[warnings; implied child abandonment, describing hypothermia symptoms (in the first-ish half)]

word count; 1.1k

a/n; you know it took me a solid few moments and a google search to figure what kafhime was bc i forgot that shipping exists for a moment. i don't really engage in shipping especially when i know that some people,,, transfer over to games from the same company they like and those people can be... weird or in my face about shipping. but who am i to judge. also kaf and hime can be interpreted as just two rude besties or just platonic (/hj) this fic is more long winded than i expected. idk, it was a little bit difficult to figure out. but hope you enjoy!

cold. everything was so cold.

how have you even managed for so long? you thought you were a goner. the people who first found you almost thought you were a goner with how despondent you were stuck in the old rickety house you once lived in. you were so tired, so gone in your mind, you couldn't feel anything. you were lucky to live, that's what you heard from the doctors.

why did fate leave you like this?

"hello dear. are you feeling any better?" a gentle motherly voice rings in the warm room. the room was a bit warmer than the rest, maybe it was just for your sake or this was just a normal thing. you weren't sure. you lived out in belobog after all. a palace of ice and a hundred winters. but it's not like you remember much of what even got you out in the dangerous cold in the first place.

you feel a hand press against your forehead. "colder than winter itself. poor kid." the same voice speaks again. "perhaps she can help me out for this." the hand moves away from you, making a weak cry leave your lips. "sorry. sorry. i guess it isn't warm enough for you in here." she apologized. "perhaps pompom can find some more fluffy blankets."

you twist and turn as her open thought chatter starts to wake you up more. you turn to rest on your side and find an unfamiliar woman as you're in an unfamiliar room. you choke up in fear as you struggle to get up and keep yourself far away from her.

"dear, you're barely even recovered! don't move too quickly!" it's too late for her words and you can't even get that far away. your tiny body is heavy and you only manage to move not even 2 inches away. the red head doesn't make any move to startle you. "i know you must be scared. i'm here to help you." she lowers herself to face eye level with you. "do you remember anything?"

you don't say a word and stare.

"we don't have to talk about it. you don't need to say anything. just nod or shake your head, does that sound okay?" she smiles gently, hoping to appear as not as scary to you.

you hesitantly nod.

"thank you for answering. you must still be feeling cold, right?"

nod.

she grabbed a nearby blanket, "is it okay if i drape this over you? won't touch you or anything." she glances at you, making sure you either nod or shake your head.

you slowly nod, remembering how cold you are.

she doesn't make any fast movements, noting your flinchy behavior. she wraps the blanket around your shoulders gently but you still flinch when it touches you.

"now what's this about a little child?" you flinch at a new voice. another feminine voice that you find a bit more melodic than the warm tones of the other. then another lady enters. you inch towards the farthest corner of the bed.

"kafka, you're going to scare them."

"aw, don't be so mean." she pretends to sound hurt but her voice is teasing. "where did you find the kid?"

"in belobog. outside of the city. well, trailblazer, march and dan heng found them. they were stuck in the freezing snow." kafka's face grimaces at the thought of seeing you stuck in the snow helpless without anyone able to find you. "but anyways, you should head out, lest the others know about you being here so suddenly."

"i paid for the items you're giving to the little star, at least let me stay for a little while longer." himeko sighs before realizing.

"i forgot to introduce myself-" the red head looks over at you who is covered in blanket, attempting to hide yourself. "see, you did scare them!" she muttered to the other. "i'm sorry about her, dear. my name is himeko. this is kafka."

"sorry for scaring you, little one. i tend to do that." kafka hummed. "well, that aside, miss himeko over here and i, we want to take care of you. but we can't be doing that when you're stuck in your little cocoon." she gently chuckled. you slowly get out of the blankets, head peeking out to look up at the lady. "well, that's a start. have you eaten yet?" she asked.

you don't say anything but your belly grumbles.

"i know what would take care of that." himeko smiled. you hear the knocks at the door but no figure enters but you hear shuffling. "pompom got some food for you, himeko!" and you find yourself face to face with a cute living rabbit in a conductor's outfit. himeko gets up opening the door and grabbing the plate of food.

"thank you pompom." himeko hummed as she closes the door. kafka soon moves to sit by the bed. you still stay head peeked with the blankets as you stare at the plate of food and then himeko. himeko walked over. "this is for you, dear. you can stay on the bed if you want. me and kafka will be right back." the redhead places a hand on kafka's shoulder, slowly pushing her as they both leave into what you assume is a bathroom. once they do, you can hear them talking but you're too focused on eating to care about the conversation.

you finish eating and you're feeling much better than before but it doesn't stop you from keeping away from himeko and kafka. it makes them a little sad but they're so patient as they converse with you as if nothing's wrong.

you don't really answer or say anything really. you just nod or shake your head depending on what they ask you. and they seem satisfied with that.

"can you give us your name? unless you're still uncomfortable."

you tell them your name weakly.

"what a lovely name. now. i'm sorry that we have to get a little heavy but, have you always been living out of the city in your home?"

you give a small nod.

"what about your parents?" himeko speaks softly and carefully. she watches as your eyes water and you shake your head. "oh, sorry, sorry. let it out." she moves to sit by you in the bed. kafka sighs.

"of course we couldn't have known about that but would you like to stay with me and himeko? i know himeko wouldn't want to leave you in a state like this."

you think for a moment, well.. there's nowhere else to really go. you nodded. and you watch as two gentle smiles grow. you feel a bit calmer and you can feel some reassurance that you have a chance to continue your life.

[gaybananabread]

Hi!! I saw you had the last day of tickletober available, and I feel like it would be really cute with ler Dipper and lee Pacifica. (Can be platonic or romantic. I ship them but you don’t need to in the fic if you don’t want to) 💖 Maybe they’re having a tickle fight and Dipper ends up winning, and since she’s not used to them he makes sure she’s all good afterwards and gets her water and maybe ask is she wants a hug or if she wants to watch a movie. 💖

TickleTober Day 31 - Aftercare

~WHOOO it's been a month! This is such a perfect way to finish it up; a nice, fluffy fic for one of my oldest fandoms. I ship them, too, and I chose a little pre-relationship pining vibe for it. I mostly followed the prompt, though I kinda just had Dipper do all the wrecking. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy! Happy Halloween everyone!~

(Sorry this got posted on the 1st, I fell asleep writing it last night😭)

Lee: Pacifica

Ler: Dipper

Summary: Pacifica is hanging out at the Mystery Shack with Dipper. After a simple card game takes a silly turn, the two realize how amazing physical touch is. Especially from each other…

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

“Dipper, come on! This is- It's so childish!” Pacifica practically screeched the words as she ran around her side of the table, mirroring Dipper’s movements.

They were supposed to be playing one of her favorite card games, “Gossip Gals,” but one of the questions had been a little too flustering for the girl. So Dipper, like any rational teenage boy, decided to attack her for information.

“Just tell me if you're ticklish or not! I'm gonna find out either way!” He laughed as he tried to reach her, circling the table between them. The card game had seemed silly at first, but after that question, Dipper couldn’t find any complaints.

“No you’re not!” Trying out a risky move, Pacifica jumped up onto the Pines’ kitchen table and attempted to jump over Dipper. She’d underestimated how far she had to jump, however, landing directly on Dipper. Instead of bracing himself, he wrapped his arms around the girl as they tumbled to the ground.

Nobody hit their head, and Dipper emerged victorious; he had his arms around the blonde’s waist, securing her.

“Dipper! You little brat, let me go!” Pacifica glared daggers at the boy, trying to squash any and all giddiness from her tone. She was about to get tickled, no doubt. She could barely remember the last time that had happened; maybe a nanny had done it? Whatever the case, it had been a while.

“Nope. Not until I find out,” he grinned, placing his hands on her sides. Usually, he’d be a flustered, blushing mess. The game had somehow given him a boost of confidence, which he was milking for all it was worth. “You can either tell me, or I test it myself.”

“I don’t know!” The words came out a lot more shrill than she had intended. The girl cleared her throat before speaking again. “I-it’s been a while, okay? I don’t remember.”

“Oh.” The boy paused for a moment, letting that sink in. Pacifica’s parents were terrible; they’d probably never done that to her before. Heck, they probably hadn’t even hugged her in a few months. He had to show her. “Guess I’ll test it then.”

"What?! That’s not what- GYEEhehehehe! Dihippeheher!” Pacifica cut herself off when she felt him squeeze her sides, squirming against his chest. A buzzy feeling danced under her skin, making it impossible for her to hold still. It rooted itself deep in her stomach, a giddy smile stretching across her cheeks.

The most embarrassing part? She’d liked it.

Pacifica couldn’t remember if she’d liked it before, but then again, she could hardly remember ever being tickled before at all. While they made her squirm and squeak, the fluttering buzzes of the tickles made her feel so light and happy.

“Wow, you are ticklish, aren’t you?” Dipper’s sudden surge of confidence shriveled at the sound of her merry laugh, giving way to fluster and affection. He loved her giggles; they were so loud and pitchy. Compared to her typically-perfect facade, they were like a diamond in a pile of ashy coal: bold, different, and enticing.

“N-nohoho duhuhuh!” The girl managed to sass him through her giggles, weakly batting at his hands. She was giving herself away. Dipper knew how hard she could fight when she wanted to get away; the little smacks were barely even a fraction of that intensity.

“Shut up,” Dipper huffed affectionately, moving his hands up to her ribs. That got a nice reaction; the girl immediately shrieked, clamping her arms to her sides for protection. Unfortunately for her, she‘d trapped his hands against the sensitive bones; he had no intention of leaving them there without action.

“Dihippeheher, dohon't! Ihihi’ll- GYAAAHAHAHA! OHO GOHOHOD! DIHIHIHIPPER!”

Pacifica arched her back as the intense sensation flooded her nervous system, eyes squeezing shut. She…she was really that ticklish? How could she forget that?!

“D-IHIHIHIPPEHER, PLEHEHEASE!” The girl's laughter was borderline frantic at that point, her mind a swirling mess of shock, stimulation, and a touch of curiosity.

Scared of overwhelming her, Dipper quickly put a stop to his tickling, pulling his hands back when Pacifica’s elbows released them. “A-are you okay,? Did I go too far? Do you want some water or a snack or something?”

Pacifica just spent a moment giggling, trying to get her head on straight. That had been…a lot. She’d definitely liked it, but she’d never felt so overwhelmed before. It completely consumed her thoughts…which, to be honest, was kind of nice. She didn’t have to think about her actions or how perfect she seemed; she could just laugh.

“I-Ihi’m okay, dummy. Even if you did try to kill me.” Pacifica made sure to be dramatic about everything, huffing and crossing her arms. When he met her eyes, however, he saw a genuine happiness in them.

Dipper wanted to ask if she’d liked it, but he could barely answer that question himself; his cheeks burned at the thought of actually asking out loud. There was something else on his mind, too…

“Do you wanna…watch a movie on the couch? O-or something? It’s fine if you don’t, I just-”

“Yeah, I’d like that. Don’t have a heart attack over it, you nerd.” She gave his shoulder a little shove, then used it to help herself to her feet. Dipper scrambled after her, feeling his face burn for almost no reason. Being flustered was the worst...but he also loved it around her.

Pacifica settled herself down in the middle of the couch, forcing Dipper to make one of the most difficult decisions of his teenage life: sit right next to her, or a respectful distance away?

She made that decision for him.

“Ugh, get over here. It’s not rocket science, nerd.” Pacifica rolled her eyes and scooted over, patting the spot right next to her.

It’s not because I like him or anything. I just…don’t wanna be cold. Yeah. It’s cold.

With a burning blush on his cheeks, Dipper settled in next to her. He blindly put a movie on, barely registering the screen as his mind raced with varying thoughts of “ohmygodohmygodohmyGOD!”

It turns out he’d picked The Princess Bride. Dipper had seen the film a thousand times, so the familiar voices of the characters and memorized scenes calmed his mind, actually returning a bit of his confidence. Dipper tuned in to the little voice of his crush in his head, relaxing next to her. He even did the awkward yawn-hug thing, stretching his arm across her shoulders.

Pacifica’s breath hitched at the contact, her brows shooting up as she glanced over at him. Where did that confidence – as cliche as it was – come from? Well, alright then…

As if she was challenging him to back off, the blonde leaned against him, lying her head on his chest. To her surprise, she felt his hand hesitantly settle on her head. He gently scratched her scalp, testing the waters.

The action had started off spiteful, but…well, she wasn’t complaining. Dipper’s touch felt nice, and the warmth of his chest was actually pretty comforting. Letting out a little sigh, she closed her eyes and let herself fully relax against him.

Dipper was dying inside, his face burning as he tried to keep all his screaming internal. He’d suspected that he might have been developing a crush on the Northwest, but…yeah. There was no dying it anymore. He let himself peek at her face, a smile tugging at his lips.

I’m so glad I asked that question…

[multifandomfanficss]

Home Is Wherever You Are P1

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

With a very heavy emphasis on platonic!Christopher Smith/Peacemaker

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: You jump in front of an explosive device to protect Adrian from the blast and end up getting separated from him with no way back.

Warnings: mentions of trafficking, mentions of child abuse, panic, meltdown, crying, divorce, mentions of August Smith, cannon typical Peacemaker violence and language

A/N: In July I started cooking up a new idea with the help of my friend @countlambula and what was originally meant to be a 2 parter moved to a 4 parter and somehow I ended with 7 parts?! Not quite sure how that happened! I’m very excited to share what I spent a huge part of my summer working on. I hope you guys enjoy!! Also despite the main ship being Adrian x Reader there is A LOT of platonic!Chris content in this fic so I really do hope Chris fans can read and enjoy this! I loved getting into the thick of Chris’ backstory for this! All of the 11th Street Kids have their own importance in this series, but it is very Adrian and Chris centric. Please enjoy!!

“I love you.” You sighed in relaxation, smiling as you were gently woken up by your boyfriend.

“Well somebody has to.” Adrian joked.

“Shut up!” You lightly hit him on the chest, laughing.

“Never.” He smiles, kissing you. You could look at his beautiful, infectious smile for hours. Your phones both buzz at the same time, an indication that it’s probably a text in the 11th Street Kids chat because you both got it.

“Didn’t we just get home from a mission?” You groan.

“There’s no time to rest for super badass super cool heroes, babe.” Adrian kisses you on the cheek quickly before getting out of bed.

“Okay, but if we have to pair up there is no way in hell I’m going with Chris again. Last time he told me I looked like his sexy babysitter growing up. Like who the fuck says that? Our lives aren’t some shitty porno and it’s almost like he doesn’t even give a fuck that we’re dating.” You sigh.

“Yeah he constantly tells me that you’re way out of my league. I think his exact words were I’m in little league and you’re on major leagues, but I don’t know. I was never on the bowling team.”

“I think he meant baseball, honey.” You smile at him, finding his little knowledge of sports cute.

“That might actually make more sense with his home run and base metaphors! It took me way too long to figure out what that shit meant. Why can’t people just say what they mean?” He questions.

“Because they’re trying too hard to sound smart. I think sometimes not saying things they actually mean, but understanding that’s not exactly what they meant makes them feel smarter. They don’t know lots of facts like you do and they definitely can’t come up with intricate strategies either.” You smile at him, taking his hand in yours. You watch his smile grow, but there’s something more behind his eyes. He seems moved.

“How do you always do that?” He asks.

“What?”

“How do you always make me feel so smart and validated?” He clarifies.

“Because you are smart. You’re a hell of a lot smarter than Chris and if anyone gave you a second and actually listened to you, they’d realize that. You helped save the world last year. There’s no way they could have done that without you. If it weren’t for you, Chris’ dad probably would have killed him that day, honestly.” As you speak Adrian starts to realize.

“I tried to tell Peacemaker about the gaps in the armor, but he didn’t listen.” He reminds you.

“Well that’s because he’s too deep in his own bullshit to see past it. He should have listened to you, but this isn’t just about him being stubborn. I don’t think most people would have noticed such a small detail like that. Give yourself some credit.” You kiss him again.

“You know you’re like everything to me right? I’ve never felt this way about a person before. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had feelings for other people, but like…it’s like I just never fit in as a kid. I just kinda felt like an alien who crash landed here as a baby and I know I’m not, but I just didn’t feel human. You make me feel human.” He’s giving you that look he gives people when he’s worried he’s said something a little too out of pocket or strange.

“I get what you mean. It’s almost like we were made for each other. We’re each other’s rocks…wait does that sound too cheesy?” You look at him, blushing.

“No! I love rocks! I had a rock collection when I was a little kid!” You giggle at how cute he is.

“Me too! My mom would find rocks in the machine every time she did laundry because I would stuff my pockets!” You tell him and you both laugh. Then your phones go off again, interrupting your good morning. You sigh. “Harcourt’s gonna kill us if we’re late.” You kiss him one more time before getting out of bed and heading to the shower.

“Let her kill us.” He laughs, smirking, following you to the shower.

Several hours later you found yourself sneaking through a warehouse. You didn’t quite know what to expect, you just knew a lot of people had gone missing at the hands of this guy. You figured maybe they were being killed off or trafficked. If you knew what you know now maybe you would have done things differently. Maybe you wouldn’t have even done them at all. You wished you were at home with Adrian. Adrian. You may never see him again…

You were running after the guy when he pulled a grenade on you. Adrian had survived a grenade once, but you didn’t think he would survive again. You on the other hand were testing out new armor from ARGUS that could probably withstand the blast, so you did what anyone would do for the person they love the most. You pushed him out of the way. Your ears were ringing and everything was so bright. You think you hear Adrian and maybe some of your other teammates screaming your name, but you’re not sure. Suddenly you’re on the ground, but the ground is different… you try to open your eyes, but they’re still strained from the bright light and now you feel lightheaded and nauseous. You black out.

You wake up to arms shaking you.

“Adrian?” You question in a whiney tone. You open your eyes to find a construction worker looking over you.

“I don’t know who that is. What even happened to you?“ You blinked a couple times, moving around slowly, getting your bearings. “You’re in my construction site for the new factory warehouse that’s going up. What happened? Did you slip down the dirt mound and hit your head?”

“I- I must have…” Your voice trails off as you try to make sense of everything.

“This is going to be so much paperwork.” The worker sighs.

“I’m sorry… what town am I in?” You ask.

“Evergreen, Washington.”

“I don’t remember there being any big construction sites like this recently.” You try to think of any signs indicating any recent work sites.

“We just broke ground yesterday. I’m surprised you didn’t see it on the news.” The worker helps you up.

“I don’t tend to watch the news. My boyfriend thinks it’s depressing. I usually get my news elsewhere, but I’ve been a little busy to read up on it in the past few days.” You smile at the worker, thinking of Adrian.

“Like the newspaper?” He asks.

“No, online.”

“On what? You wait in line?”

“No… like the internet…” You give him a confused smile.

“Oh, I don’t mess with that new stuff. I don’t want robots in my house, stealing my information. You young people always just want things faster, faster, faster.” You tried to refrain from giving the man an odd look. He’s probably from one of the more rural areas. You knew how radically conservative Evergreen could be at first hand, having met Chris’ dad and been told stories of how he grew up. You were just happy Chris’ dad was dead. As awful as that sounds you’d hate to run into him.

“Yeah…” You give a nervous laugh. “Well thank you, but I should probably head out before your supervisor notices.” You quickly excuse yourself, walking down the street. You pulled out your phone, but had no service, so you put it away. That’s odd. Usually there’s dead zones in town, but you didn’t think it was this bad. As you walk down the street you see a beautiful vintage car parked by the side of the road. It’s in pretty good condition.

“I love your vintage car! What year is it?” You ask the woman getting out of it.

“What this clunker? I got it from my parents. It’s only an 81, but I guess it’s getting old now. It’s got tons of miles on it. They just got a new car, so they gave me their old one.” She says, locking her door.

“They didn’t wanna keep it?” You ask in shock.

“Why would they? It’s old.” You look at her in confusion before she excuses herself to walk into the grocery store. Guess some people just don’t know the value of collectibles.

Today has been fucking weird. How did you even end up in that construction site anyway? You must have gone for a walk this morning and fell in, but it’s a little alarming you don’t remember. You could walk home, but it’s just so far. You walk into a nearby corner store hopping they have wifi to connect to. You couldn’t call Adrian without service, but maybe if you could get wifi you could get him a message to come pick you up or you could order an Uber.

You walked into the building and made your way up to the counter. “Hi, do you have wifi here?” You ask.

“No, sorry we don’t sell that.” The teenage cashier dismisses you and goes back to the pad of paper they’re doodling on.

“Okay… do you know anywhere near here that has wifi?” You ask.

“I don’t even know what wifi is. I could call the hardware store and see if they have some.” They look at you like you’re the stupid one.

“What do you mean call the hardware store?”

“We have a phone behind the counter.”

“How do you not know what wifi is? Wireless internet?” You stare at them, losing your mind a bit.

“You think we have a computer here? This is Evergreen. Half the town is poor as shit. You’re not gonna find a computer in a gas station. Go to the library. They just got another one.” The teenager rolls their eyes at you.

“Can I at least use your phone?” You ask, trying to keep your patients with the idiot in front of you. How do they not know what wifi is?

“You have to use the pay phone next door. My boss said this is a business only phone.”

“The pay phone… What is this? 1985? I didn’t even know pay phones still existed.”

“Well some of us again can’t afford a cellphone. Not to mention, my mom says they fuck with your brain.” They roll their eyes again.

“It’s the 21st century who cares what their mother says? Practically everyone has a phone?” You give them a strange look.

“I don’t know what you smoked before you walked in here, but you’re still half a decade away from the 21st century.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You look at them dumbfounded before it all starts to register. The comments about the internet being new, no wifi, no cellphones, the vintage car. You feel your ears start to ring as your eyes begin to tear up. You feel like you’re underwater. You take off, booking it down several blocks. You’re out of breath and you have a cramp, but you don’t care. You keep running. You’re sweating, but you keep running. You can taste metal in your mouth, but you keep running. You keep going. You have to. Finally you reach it. You stand in front of the building, catching your breath as you watch people walk in and out of Henelotter Video. Your heart is in your throat.

“No…” You look at it and begin to cry in shock at what was once your headquarters… or you guess what will one day be… That day hasn’t come yet. You walk over to a newspaper box and grab a free local paper. You see the date says August 31st, 1994. Fuck. You drop the paper, rushing to the back of the building. You collapse on the ground against the back wall of a building that should feel more familiar to you than it is. You remember now. The grenade must have been some sort of weaponized time travel. The people weren’t being killed or trafficked. They were being displaced in time. You sob quietly, not trying to cause a scene. This wasn’t supposed to be this way.

You lean against the building staring out at the parking lot, the parking lot where you shared your first kiss with Adrian. You had just gotten back from a mission that he was a little too reckless on and you needed to tell him how you felt in case you never got the chance again. You look over at the dumpster, clean of the graffiti it will one day be littered with. That was the dumpster he was hiding behind when you first met him as Vigilante.

Adrian… You may never get to see your perfect boyfriend again. He was by no means actually perfect, but he was perfect to you. He was your personal version of perfect and you knew you’d never find anyone else like him again. Now you may never see him again…

You cry until it starts to grow dark. You wonder about what you’ll do. Anything you do could change the future. What if changing the future makes it so you never meet Adrian or what if you change something and it branches off into a different future and you get stuck away from him in a parallel universe? You’re not a time travel scientist. Anything could fucking happen! The only thing you do know is that you’re alone and it’s getting dark. If you’re getting your timeline right, Chris’ dad would be coming out soon with his awful fucking army and you knew if they tried to fight you, you wouldn’t be able to take all of them on your own. They rule the streets in these years. You pull out your wallet from your pocket to find you have enough money to at least go get dinner. Your debit card won’t work, but you have just enough cash. You head to Fennel Fields because you knew it would probably be the only consistent thing left in town. You just wanted something familiar.

As you’re seated, an overwhelmed waitress rushes past you saying “I’ll be right with you!”

“Take your time. I practically have all the time in the world… like 30 years of time…” You whisper the last part under your breath. The overworked waitress runs back to you and apologizes.

“Hi, my name is Diane. Can I get you something to drink?” You want to order a soda, but decide against it to save money.

“Uh… I guess water will have to be fine.”

“You don’t look so sure. It’s free refills.” She smiles at you.

“I- I’m okay…” You stutter, tired. You could really use the caffeine, but shouldn’t.

“Well if you could have any pop in the machine which one would you pick?” She asks.

“I’m really fine with water…” You laugh nervously.

“Just humor me.” She smiles at you.

“Uh…maybe a Diet Coke…” You smile shyly at her. She leaves and comes back with a Diet Coke.

“On the house.” She smiles at you again. Something about her is so comforting.

“Oh, no. I couldn’t possibly-“

“Take it. You look like you’ve had a long day. I know I have.” She smiles at you.

“You’re very kind.” You smile back, taking a sip, letting the cool bubbly liquid trickle down your throat, which is sore from crying.

“Now what are we doing for food?” She asks.

“Uh…I’m gonna be really honest with you. I know most restaurants won’t let you order a kids meal if you’re over 12, but I’m really tight on cash, so I was hoping to maybe get the chicken tenders and fries?” You try your luck and she gives you another comforting smile.

“Great choice. I’ll go have the kitchen whip it up.” She walks away without any other questions.

You stay and eat at the restaurant for a while. Even long after you’re done, you stay and enjoy more free refills just so you’re not out on the streets.

“You know we’re technically closed right?” Your waitress, Diane asks.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I’ll leave…” You start to collect your things as she begins to sit at your booth with a bin of silverware and some napkins.

“No, please stay. Mind if I join you?” She asks.

“Um…no.” You smile. “I don’t mind at all.” Truth be told you loved Diane. She had such a comfortable, familiar air around her. Even in all of this chaos, she felt like someone you could trust. She starts rolling silverware as you sip on your drink.

“So what’s your story? Are you running or were you kicked out?” She asks.

“What?” You look at her confused.

“You just look scared and tired and like you’re not quite sure what to do. It’s none of my business, but you just look like you need someone on your side is all.” She smiles again, hoping she didn’t overstep.

“Why were you so kind to me? I walked into this restaurant with thirteen dollars to my name and you didn’t even roll an eye at me.” You question her.

“Just doing what I think is right, I suppose. It’s been hard for me too lately. My husband just left, so I picked up this second job to make sure my kids will be alright.” You shoot her a sympathetic look.

“Um…kicked out…I guess….” You open up. Being exiled from your time period is sort of like being kicked out.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” She asks. You shake your head silently. She finishes rolling the last bit of silverware before standing up and putting the bin behind the counter nearby.

“Let’s go. I’m taking you home with me.” She smiles.

“Oh, no! I- I couldn’t possibly-“

“Yes, you can and you will. I’m a mother. I’m not going to let a young adult with nowhere to go and no money sleep on the streets.” She cuts you off. She couldn’t be too much older than you, but clearly motherhood had aged her.

“You don’t even know my name!” You protest.

“What’s your name?” She asks.

“Rey” You panicked. It was the first name to come to your head. You and Adrian had watched Star Wars yesterday.

“Well then, Rey, let’s go home.” She insists.

“I can’t just stay in your house. That’d be rude.” You continue to debate.

“Then work for me.” She says.

“What?” You question her.

“I’ve been wanting to hire a nanny, but haven’t been able to afford one. If you come stay at my place, while you’re there you could watch the boys when I’m at work and in return you would have a roof over your head and food to eat. It sounds like a win-win situation.” She proposes. It isn’t a bad idea. You worry doing just about anything else would have an insane impact on the timeline. How much could one family affect everything?

“Are you sure about this?” You ask.

“More than sure. There’s something about you. You just seem…right.” She tells you. You smile.

“Okay…let’s go home then I guess…” you say as you follow her out of the restaurant. On the drive home she tells you about her kids.

“I have two kids…officially…” She starts.

“What do you mean officially?” You ask as you watch the passing streetlights illuminate her face.

“Well my son’s friend is always over, so more often than not it’ll probably be three boys. I let him sleepover a lot even though he’s a handful because every time he sleeps at home he comes back the next day with bruises. I can’t do anything about it because…well…that’s just how the town is…I think if I said anything things would just get worse, so I keep my mouth shut and put out an extra table setting for supper.” Her hands tighten on the steering wheel as she speaks.

“That’s so awful. I’ll never be able to understand parents who do that to their kids.” You sigh.

“Me either. If anyone laid a finger on either of my boys I’d kill them.” Most moms would be exaggerating, but you saw fire behind her eyes. You knew she loved her kids and she wasn’t fucking around. When you get home and walk inside you see a toddler with tight brown curls running around the living room in nothing, but a diaper.

“Dorian?!” Diane yells through the house. She catches the giggling toddler who has food on his face.

“Dorian Gut Chase! I told you your brother had to be in bed by 8!” Diane starts to scold her son who could be heard from the other room playing video games. Oh fuck.

“I’m sorry. Can you please hold Adrian. I don’t want him getting into anything else before bed and it seems like Dorian and Chris are upstairs killing aliens on the Super Nintendo instead of watching him, which is why I need a nanny in the first place.” She shoves Adrian in your hands. Holy fuck.

“Hi.” You hold him stiffly in your hands.

“I’m Adrian! I’m three!” He tells you just about the only thing every toddler is trained to say upon meeting a new person, shoving 3 fingers in your face.

“I know.” You say back. That’s probably not what you’re supposed to tell a three year old when they introduce themselves, but it’s not like he’ll remember anyway. You’re too in shock to care.

“What’s- what’s- what is your name?” He asks, stuttering out the words, obviously new to keeping up conversations.

“Rey, could you bring Adrian upstairs to help get him ready for bed please?” Diane calls and you remember you told her your name was Rey. Fuck if only baby Adrian could catch the joke in all of this. This is so weird on so many levels.

“I’m Rey, I guess, and we’re going upstairs now.” You tell him.

“Is it bedtime?” He asks.

“Um yeah. You’re up a little late, bud.”

“It’s not late!” He protests in his squeaky voice.

“What makes you think it’s not late?” You ask, as you walk up the stairs.

“I’m not tired!” He says.

“What time do you think it is?” You ask.

“Um 2- 2- 27” He giggles.

“That’s not a time!” You laugh at him, pretending to almost drop him. He breaks out into a fit of giggles. You had almost forgotten who you were holding.

“You’re really good with him. It’s almost like you’re a natural. He’s usually not this happy with strangers. He loves you!” She says, pleasantly surprised. If only somebody else could see the irony in the situation. Freud would love to be a fly on the way during all of this.

“Oh…uh…thanks.” You smile, as Adrian situates himself in your arms, hugging you closely. You would do anything to have Adrian back. Well this is sort of Adrian, but… you wish you had the older version. You wanted your Adrian back.

“I’ll take him from here.” Diane offers. “Check out the guest room. It’s the one at the end of the hall.” She says, taking Adrian from you.

“Thank you. You’ve been really kind.” You smile at her.

“It’s no trouble. You’re doing me a favor.”

You bid your goodnights and head to the guest room. You sit on the bed and think for a moment. This is so fucked up on so many levels. Forget about how you could fuck up the timeline… How are you gonna fuck up your boyfriend?! Not to mention, what kind of fucking ethics are involved in nannying your future boyfriend? He’s fucking three! He’s impressionable! On one hand this is weird, but on the other hand it might be your smartest move. Free room, free food, and you know how Adrian, Gut, and Chris’ lives are supposed to play out, so maybe you can stick to the script of your own timeline a little easier. This might be the easiest way to change as little as possible. You sigh, flopping onto the bed. You pull out your phone. The battery is only half charged and you have no way of charging it, but you don’t care. You need him. You pull up a picture of him that you took this morning in the van on your way to the warehouse, as tears come to your eyes. You open your voicemails and play one he left for you the other day.

“Hey babe, it’s me. I’m just calling because I know you had a bad day today and I was thinking maybe I could bring takeout home from the restaurant and we could just have a movie night? I just wanted to know if you were feeling chicken parm or meatballs or if you wanted to just scratch dinners and have me bring home a pizza. Just call me back when you get this. I’m really proud of you- uh…not that I’m not always proud of you. I’m like totally proud of you all the time and I’m rambling again and this voicemail is about to be like 10 years long, so uh bye I love you.” As soon as the voicemail ended you played it again, letting your tears fall freely. After you’re sure everyone is asleep you sneak into toddler Adrian’s room to check on him. He’s fast asleep in his bed. You let your silent tears continue to fall. He starts to move in his sleep. He seems distraught like he could be having a nightmare.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna take really good care of you, just like how you always take really good care of me.” You put on a teary eyed smile, giving him a kiss on the top of his head and adjusting his fallen blanket to cover him better. He seems to look more comfortable now. He stays fast asleep as you sneak back to the guest room for the night.

[fumifooms]

Mind if I ramble at you for a bit.

So I read both of your Marcille/canary rarepairs and the Fleki one inspired me to share a one-shot idea I had a while ago (that I am never going to write). Anyways the idea behind this is that it happens in an AU, where Canaries recruited (arrested) Marcille at some point in the timeline (maybe during her brief stint as Dugeon Lord).

Anyways in the one-shot Marcille would have a mental breakdown, when she realizes that her sentence is longer then most of her friends´ remaining lifespan and she will likely not meet them in person again (not to mention the irony in the fact that her effort to prolong the time she has with her friends she lost the chance to the time they have, Marcille will be avare of) and Fleki ends up comforting her.

I also consider a second part, where Marcille "repays the favor" when Fleki has a bad trip.

I didn´t ship Marcille/Fleki before your post, so the original idea was gen, but it could work as shipping fic as well.

I also consider some other one-shots in this AU (which I decided to call Jailbird AU), like Marcille managing to peacfully resolve a conflict between the Canaries and some people living in a dungeon (maybe goblins since they didn´t appear in the manga/anime), or her interacting with Mithrun (maybe she could make him a soup after they end up stuck in a dungeon together and run out of food), since as you pointed out those two have a nice potential dynamic (platonic or romantic).

Also Falin and rest of the party would definitivelly mount a Marcille rescue operation, which would make for a nice inversion their situation at the begining of the canon.

Makes me wonder how well would Marcille get along with the other members of the unit and what their interactions would be like.

The way the canaries are is that there are two prisoners for one warden right, but Marcille could be assigned as a temporary third charge… 🤔 Especially since the canaries are understaffed, probably under Mithrun and not Pattadol then because Mithrun is much more high ranked and experienced than Pattadol. As a past dungeon lord she’d be considered higher threat I imagine, but she’s capable so like Mithrun after his dungeon stint they’d really want to recruit her. This mithrille fanartist makes some canary!Marcille AU art like this one that I find super fun to think about… Yeah they’re right Mithrun would treat newbie recruit Marcille like that (carelessly and ruthlessly) pfft, since canaries assigned to Mithrun used to die a lot regularly before things stabilized with the current group I like to think of wether or not they expected Marcille to die soon and if they’re fine with that. Not like Mithrun would hesitate to strike her down if she stepped out of line— but she seems to get along with Pattadol so that could give them some hope, so either way, stamp of approval.

Wether Marcille would get along with each canaries or not imo:

Pattadol: Yes. Pattadol’s soft on Marcille, she thinks she’s sooo sensible and smart and thinks her dunlord thing was just an unfortunate turn of fate that she’s already forgiven for. They chat a lot, each other’s favorite coworker. If it wasn’t for Mithrun being the top leader I feel like Marcille could sometimes get carried away and take over with leadership of the group tbh gdvgd, and Pattadol may or may not notice she’d doing it and let her. Marcille gradually climbs up the canary ranks au? Would be fun

Fleki: I def think she’d be the one both poking fun at Marcille, about how she’s new to everything in the canaries and how dramatic she can act, and the one to lighten up the mood and be friendly because she’s open and casual like that and the one to tell her to relax. Their relationship could be a little tense especially with how judgy and critical Marcille can be, and how singeing and uncaring Fleki can be. Marcille’s "you didn’t do this for friendship because it’s the right thing to do?! How heartless!". But especially with time and familiarity they’d grow closer and Mariclle would be sad Fleki keeps people at an emotional distance and Fleki doesn’t let her in more- "Fleki may seem rude and crass and lowbrow and a rotten egg and- but she’s a good egg if you take the time to crack her up a bit… She’s my rotten egg… I prommy…" Also her overbearing mom friend tendencies would kick in and she’d want to get Fleki to be healthier. Lycion-Marcille "spend less time high and be with us we love you" alliance pt 2. Ty for coming to my ted talk. Imagine Fleki climbling Marcille like she did w Otta in that one beach page. Dramatic duo <3 Anyways so yes they’ll often banter and chat and have disagreements and sometimes bad synergy but ultimately they trust each other’s judgement and work well together—

Lycion: ehhhhhhh. Lycion’s easy to get along with but equally distant, and more judgy than he appears, and I don’t think Marcille would try to get closer, if not just in curiosity to figure him out. Their dynamic would fall flat a lot imo. But I do think he’d also poke fun at her idealistic gullible nature kinda like with Pattadol, would find it fun to string her along with tall tales and push her around in these small jokey ways, especially if she acts holier-than-thou even at this point in her life (bc I do think he’d tend to have more patience and empathy for a fellow inmate). Don’t ship it don’t ship it don’t ship it Fumi Marcille falling for a mysterious werewolf help Marcille you cannot "you should love yourself and your body ✨✨" him out of this

Cithis: No, but Cithis might like to mess with her. I think Cithis would find her too loud though. Too dramatic too talkative too bumbly too annoying— Chilchuck does always call Marcille clumsy so there’s that. Cithis hates rich people and Marcille like Pattadol does give that vibe, and unlike Pattadol Marcille’s not her superior so I think she’d show more cold disinterest than mean playfulness bc there’s little power dynamic to play with and dunk on there. Pattadol playing favoritism with Marcille would def fan some flames though. Cithis would find out Marcille’s not so bad and untolerable over time but there’ll always be some cold rivalry vibes crackling I feel, maybe Cithis takes pity on her and takes her under her wing somewhat at one point. Eh. I think Marcille would get the vibe to steer clear of her esp with Pattadol’s warnings about her, think of her kinda like how she treated Toshiro or Namari after she left, but also……. À la Chilchuck the harder someone tries to be closed off and mysterious the harder she wants to befriend them and learn everything about them.

Otta: Decently yes! The inmate she gets along best after/alongside Fleki. She’s sociable and generally friendly though the less flashy type, she’s the most mature and tends to be quieter than the chaos duo Fleki & Lycion. Otta would also find Marcille easily overbearing I think but she’d tell it how it is and try to help her integrate. And then brag about how good of a person she is for it lowkey~ Jk haha or is she. They’d both talk seriously and joke together. Ultimately the Fleki-Lycion-Otta-Marcille quartet is a fun one to sit with at a table.

Mithrun: Both terrifying and unapproachable and the person she feels like she can talk to plainly with the most imo even if he doesn’t always respond much. She appreciates him being smart but thinks he’s reckless. His words and judgements are harsh but often something she has to grapple with and accept— Pattadol’s very kind on her (sometimes overwhelmingly so) and sort of a rookie that follows orders so Marcille has trouble talking strategy or for real for real™️ with her, and Otta’s approachable and levelheaded but well- Not necessarily the most moral or that knows what she’s speaking about. Fleki’s easy to talk to plainly with but isn’t often constructive, Lycion’d be great actually but they don’t talk like that. Mithrun? Academic and experienced and blunt and there’s no pretenses ever. Maybe Cithis would want to drop some of her Mithrun-caring duties onto her but I doubt it tbh. On ship travels she might get overwhelmed and seek some quiet in his room tbh, and he says he doesn’t care either way… she could read books in there or talk onesidedly. Idk idk idk, them……..

Marcille starting out trusting no one and vowing to keep to herself and go unnoticed for the time she has to serve, but being surrounded by so many mysterious cool people that aren’t as bad as she wwass bracing herself for…… And wanting to know everyone’s tragic backstories. Mithrun’s is pretty much common knowledge and she learns it quickly through gossip, maybe from Pattadol, either once she starts taking an interest in her coworkers or a bit before and it’s what piques her interest because before then she found him so senselessly rude & she tends to assume people are black and white at first… He might even overshare himself like he did with Kabru and she’s on the edge of her seat all the while gdbdg. Pattadol has nothing to hide or so she says so she tells Marcille all she wants to know about herself. Marcille eventually learns about Lycion I think but Fleki she has to fight tooth and nail to get anything except one liners casually dropped randomly here and there and what do you mean you have a brother?? Cithis will never let her know anything so gossip or such is her only way but tbh Marcille doesn’t dare.

OKAYYYY that was way longer than I thought but hopefully it’s some fun food for thought lol. I still think I’ve thought about Otta the least but I’ve started paying her more attention a while ago esp when I realized she’s pretty much the Chilchuck equivalent of the group. -Squints and suddenly gets a vision- Chilchuck’s a mix of Otta and Fleki………… Me liking flekille so much suddenly makes even more sense to me hm

Any and all canary Marcille AU is very fun, here I was thinking halfway between ‘she becomes a canary in a canon divergent ending where the demon isn’t defeated and Laios isn’t king’ (which would def make the Mithrun-Marcille dynamic even more interesting) and her having become a canary pre-canon someway sometime somehow. I also like AUs where Marcille went to jail post-canon in general, I have some old laimar and marchil wips with that since the manga wasn’t over then and I thought she might spend some time in prison but have an early leave because of Laios’ power and influence and good behavior hehe. Here’s one fun other canary Marcille I just stumbled upon~!

"Not to mention the irony in the fact that through her effort to prolong the time she has with her friends she lost the chance to the time they have" beautiful mwah… Jailbird AU is a banger name

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

Okay, if you were asked who are in Merlin BBC that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they? Why?

I’m just gonna note that I’m not attached to any sexuality headcanon because people are going to have different opinions and it seems daft to lose more than half the fan content (art, fics, etc) just because of a headcanon. I’ll read more or less anything, I play around with queer themes in my writing fairly regularly and multiship everyone in the show, sometimes with characters from other fandoms too, but these are the sexualities I’ve written most of for each character otherwise this would be way too long.

And I know I’m assigning modern understandings of sexuality to medieval characters, but it’s a show with dragons and magic, also capes, a French castle, and whatever the hell that chainmail was so I think I can be excused for my historical inaccuracy.

Merlin: either gay or bi with a a preference for men. I could never get myself to really like Freya in the show, she wasn’t bad and I didn’t hate her, I usually just forget about her because it was one episode so I didn’t have enough time to get attached. She deserved more screen time and I love what the fandom has done with her character, but I usually see her where Merlin’s shipped with someone else so I honestly forget their romance exists most of the time. Other than that, I usually see him shipped with knights or Arthur or if he’s shipped with another woman, it’s someone who didn’t get enough screen time to get attached, or a mergwenthur (is that their ship name?) poly relationship.

Arthur: bi and demi. He needs time to like someone, canonically only started wearing a shirt after he got married but he walked around his chambers naked when it was just Merlin/no sexual implications in a servant of two masters. I’ve done deep dive character analysis into that and what it says for their trust of one another if anyone’s interested. It goes into them being platonic but acting like a couple and why meant so much for me to see as a kid and also why I think that proves their relationship is more than words can fully encapsulate. Also he’s had crushes on men and women so bi just fits.

Gwen: bi with a preference for men, she and Morgana had chemistry and I ship them pre season 3 but after that, not so much. Also had crushes on Lancelot, Merlin and married Arthur. They’re an adorable couple, honestly I love them. I don’t really have much else to say.

Morgana: aroace lesbian. Just my favourite headcanon, I like that she never had a canon relationship but she definitely had chemistry with Gwen. They’re just sweet together. I don’t know, mostly just vibes and my desire for more aroace rep.

Lancelot: bi with a preference for women. Gwen and Merlin. Yeah, that’s pretty much all I have to say. I just love that he’s such a great guy, I don’t think there’s anything more to it than two crushes in canon and vibes. I’ve written him as unlabelled or queer a fair amount, it really just depends.

Leon: Romance and sex averse aroace. Again, I just want representation and think he’s cool. I’ve seen him shipped with others, but I tend to default to aroace Leon in my own works more than anything else. Occasionally I’ll give him a qpr but it just depends on what I’m writing.

Gwaine: aromatic pansexual, he likes flirting but I think the idea of a permanent long term relationship would be “the one to tie him down” and it never entirely fits right. I’ve seen him shipped with Percival, I love that but usually if I’m writing it, I’ll have them in a qpr. I think he definitely feels low levels of romantic attraction but not enough to want a romantic relationship with someone, he loves so much, just not in the traditional ways and writing aroallo Gwaine is always super fun.

Elyan: I headcanon Elyan as trans masc but I don’t think I’ve got any specific headcanons for his sexuality. I’ve probably written him straight slightly more than anything else, but it’s a close tie between writing him straight and bi. It never usually comes up, so maybe just unlabelled or queer. I don’t know, he’s just Elyan. That’s all really.

Percival: I know in canon he had a wife and kids, I write him as being gay more than anything else, but my main headcanon tends to be that he’s bi or pan. Purely based on vibes but if it’s not relevant to the plot, I won’t bother mentioning it.

[intheticklecloset]

Strawberry Isagi (Blue Lock)

Summary: Bachira tickles Isagi in his own playful, Bachira way. That's pretty much it. 😊

A/N: So cards on the table - last year I watched and fell head over heels in love with Blue Lock alongside my friend @giggly-squiggily! I've been writing fics for it on my own and finally decided to go public with it this year! And OMG do I ship Bachisagi SO MUCH! 😍😍😍 This particular fic is more platonic than romantic, but it could be read either way. Enjoy! 💖

Word Count: 928

~~~

There was no way out of Blue Lock unless you quit or were disqualified. Everyone knew that; it had been cemented into their minds on day one.

Right now, however, Isagi was really, really wishing he had somewhere to hide.

“Bachira!” he cried, wriggling uselessly around on his sleeping mat, kicking the covers every which way and generally making an embarrassment of himself. “Dohon’t!”

“Uh-oh. Are we a little ticklish, Isagi?” the smaller boy giggled, gently wiggling his fingers into Isagi’s sides, forcing muffled chuckles past his lips.

“Wahahait! Bahachira!”

Isagi tried to roll over, but Bachira was straddling his lower back, keeping him pinned in place  face down on his bedroll so that all he could do was flail and kick and sputter out embarrassed giggles as his teammate explored this new discovery. And if he knew Bachira, he wouldn’t be satisfied with simply learning he was ticklish; no, he wouldn’t stop until he’d covered every last inch of him, finding his worst spots for future reference, and that was why Isagi was so desperate to get away. It was bad enough he was so stupidly ticklish, but to have someone like Bachira constantly poking and jabbing at him when it was least convenient? The thought only made him kick even more.

“My, you’re a squirmy one, aren’t you?” Bachira switched tactics to begin pinching his ribs from the bottom up, taking the time to make sure each round of pressure did the most tickly damage it could.

Isagi squealed, frantically reaching for his pillow so he could muffle himself. “Bahahahachira! Cuhuhuhut it out alreheheheady!”

Somewhere nearby, he heard a few of his other teammates chuckle at the scene. Isagi flushed bright red. That was the other reason he wanted to be able to hide – having everyone on the team know about this weakness of his was humiliating. He was here to become the best striker in the world; how could he uphold that image when he was helpless like this?

It wasn’t like he’d been the only one tickled on Team Z; Bachira had made his rounds with pretty much everyone at this point. But still!

Speaking of, the smaller player had now moved up to his armpits, trying to wiggle his way in. “Aww, don’t fight me, Isagi. I just want to hear you laugh!”

“I ahahaham lahahaughing!” Isagi whined, trying to buck his hips upward and deter his friend.

Bachira was immovable, however, and quickly changed tactics again. He went back to digging into Isagi’s side, which was a guaranteed way to get the brunette to try and physically stop him, which left his armpits open, which meant…

“Gotcha!” Bachira declared gleefully, diving his fingers into the opened up spaces, grinning at the shriek that flew past Isagi’s lips. “Ooh, good spot? Does it tickle here, Isagi? Hmm? Well – I’m waiting for an answer~”

Isagi was going to – well, he couldn’t quite bring himself to think he’d kill Bachira, but he was certainly going to get him back for this.

“Yehehehehes, it tihihihihickles there! Wohohohohould you stahahahahap it?! Please!”

“Not yet~ I wanna see where else I can make you laugh.” At that moment Bachira seemed to hit a particularly sensitive spot, as Isagi shrieked into his pillow once more and brought his legs up to try and kick at him, one foot landing successfully on his teammate’s back for a brief moment.

But then Bachira hummed with renewed interest, and Isagi knew he was done for. “Nohoho! Wait, nohohohoho!”

“Oh? Do your feet want to play, too? They must be tired from all that running today,” Bachira teased, moving so fast the poor brunette had no chance of getting away or stopping him. In the next moment his ankles had been straddled and his bare feet were being tickled mercilessly, sending him into bouts of laughter that were much louder than anything he’d let fly before. Bachira sounded far too pleased with himself. “Ooh, I think this is a really good spot!”

“GAHAHAHAHAHAHA BAHAHAHAHACHIRA, DOHOHOHOHON’T!!” Isagi screamed, caught between wanting to muffle his cries and wanting to beg for mercy, trying to twist onto his side but not having the strength for it. He settled on slapping his hand on the ground in the universal tap-out gesture. “PLEHEHEHEHEASE STAHAHAHAHAP!! ANYWHEHEHEHEHERE BUT THEHEHEHERE!!”

“Anywhere?”

“YEHEHEHEHEHES!!”

“All right, then…” Bachira left his feet alone, allowing Isagi a momentary sigh of relief before he was flipped onto his back and straddled again, this time with wiggling fingers descending on his open belly, slipping under his sweatshirt to get at the sensitive bare skin.

Isagi squeaked and burst into giggles that flowed freely now that he had no way to hide his face or muffle his sounds. His hands flew down to grasp Bachira’s wrists, but the beaming smile and playful gleam in his friend’s eyes stopped him from actually trying to push him away. Why was that?

“Look how red you are. You’re like a strawberry! How cute~” Bachira chuckled, leaning down so they were nose-to-nose. “I could just eat you up, Isagi~”

The brunette’s eyes widened at the statement, feeling himself blush even harder now. Was it getting hot in here?!

“Get a room,” Chigiri mocked playfully from somewhere nearby, and that sealed Isagi’s fate in his own mind. He resigned himself to giggling and squirming until Bachira was good and done, and if it was obvious how he felt about him now, so be it. He was going to be the best athlete in the world! He could take a little more tickling!

Probably…