#like i had CONSIDERED IT
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i think i've healed enough to finally get past the embarrassment this first one brings me so here goes
Things That Should Have Made People Realise I Was Neurodivergent, But Didn't, Because I Was a Good Kid Who Didn't Cause No Trouble And Masked Like A Good Girl:
that time in second grade when the class was playing outside on a hot day, and a boy took off his shirt. no one yelled at him. i was also very hot. now of course no one saw my internal debate, and trying to suss out what would be socially acceptable by using logic, but i came to the conclusion that since I was 8 years old and was personally nowhere near starting puberty, it would be okay for me to take off my shirt too. i happily played shirtless for a while, although i could definitely feel the weird looks my classmates were giving me. i wasn't confident in my assessment but i was willing to defend my logic and position. i was right and if the others disagreed, they were the weird ones. a teacher passed by in a hurry and yelled at me to put my shirt on in a scandalised tone. she didn't yell at the boy. nothing further ever came of it.
#i'm still indignant about this#like i had CONSIDERED IT#and while i realise that society isn't built in a way that doesn't sexualise little girls it fucking SHOULD BE#i was very relieved i didn't get in trouble at the time but god damn if that teacher hadn't been trying to stop a nosebleed or whatever#or like if she'd come back later and had a FUCKING TALK WITH ME#tbf i probably would have lied and masked my way through that one the best i could and then stress cried in the bathroom#also the way i just realised this is why i'm so good at lying in some situations#i was SO SCARED of being found out#found out that i didn't know what to do in a situation or how to talk to people#i was SCARED the first time we had school lunch and i was always so worried i'd have to show people i didn't know something#thank god for scripts#i actually remember developing a script in my head the first time my mum encouraged me to talk to salesperson#i was like 5#and i felt like i couldn't ask mum what to say#i had to KNOW#so i scripted it in my head and gathered my courage and asked where the whatevers were and walked back to my mum#and we went and found the whatevers together#mum fully just did that because she thought i was so shy#i was shitting bricks#i also hated the idea of going to doctor's appointments alone#it was fine for general checkups but when they were actually tryna figure shit out with my migraines it was bad#i'd forget EVERYTHING i'd need to say and i had no script and i was scared and AAAAAA#i'd always take my mum with me#there was this one doctor who hated that and tried to get me to come alone#i was 16 maybe?#when i eventually did go alone it went okay#i masked and came up on top :| and nobody noticed i was fully super depressed and neurodivergent#okay i think that's enough for now#internal monologue#adhd
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It's in the eye of the beholder
#comic#birds#my art#I've had this idea for a while#after a lecture that talked about how traits we consider cute are traits found in babies#I feel like birds would have a very different definition of cute from us#anyway after making the bird tutorial I feel the pressure to draw perfect bird anatomy#but tbh I still just wing it a lot of the time!!#hehe “wing it”
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Good detectives do what they need to in order to solve a case. 💀🔎✨
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#dead boy detective agency#there's a little detail for every episode scattered about— see if you can identify them all !#of course there's also monty and the cat king#had fun putting in some of the smaller details like the anime couples in niko's book :sideeye: i'll see if ppl can identify em correctly to#anyways i adore them !! and their adventures !! and i hope that adoration showed through#consider this my tribute to dbd season 1#netflix#kwad draws
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surrounding myself with a bubble of diversity and self love and body positivity online and then being exposed to normies who actually care about conventional beauty standards feels so fucking bizarre. like you people just live like this??? are you not tired???
#eliot posts#had to spend the week around my sister#and heard her talking about how much she wished she could remove/change certain aspects of her face#aspects which i also have#and generally like about myself and consider to be part of my charm#like girl what the fuck is a buccal fat#yinz are just making shit up to fuck with me i swear
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renaissance dogys
characters belong to @canisalbus
#i love i loveeee ludovica sm shes so cute. ive only known her for 5 min but i fell in love with her design and i love her friendship#with vasco ^_^ i think them having each other makes hiding their sexualities a little less lonely so thats sweet#ik in modern au shes considered an old friend of vascos but i originally assumed she and vasco fake dated in college or smth#to get their parents off their backs until they came out properly and continued to stay in touch as friends after LMAO#im not very familiar with period fashion so i had to look at renaissance costumes as reference. but i have to admit i love the#high waistlines used in some of their dresses.. i have a minidress with a similar high waistline pressed against the chest and sleeves#also if u squint machete is holding a little paper bag in the 2nd photo which is supposed to be his lunch courtesy of vasco <3#idk what ludovica would wear in modern au but i thought poet shirts might suit her because theyre like somewhere evenly between#masc and femme. to me anyway.. based on observation lesbians seem to love poet shirts and i think she looks good in one#these are all shitposts.. ill draw serious art of them one of these days i promise#i listened to fools rush in and it reminds me of them.. especially when it goes 'though i see the danger there / if theres a chance#for me then i dont care' like its so poignant and bittersweet.. a little indulgent when u think of those small moments they have togethr#save me gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries... gay catholic furries save me#my art#myart#doodles#fanart#others ocs#canisalbus#fur#furry art#machete#vasco#vaschete#ludovica#sfw fur#furry#anthro
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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final victor...?
#i am feeding into my own hc that ren is also a bit unhinhed and kinda not well in the head cuz why do you like akechi sm...#theyre so sicko4sicko#also im not big into ratiorine but this lc is rlly...smth...i just had to!!#idek if this deserves a caption on its own considering its not that original and is a redraw#but ah well#shuake#akeshu#ren amamiya#goro akechi#persona 5#joker#crow#persona#hsr#i guess#my art#fanart
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finally got some time to finish these guys up! which is sort of ironic considering I started these because I wanted to draw Malleus with a Dragapult, and then I just didn't for a million years!
Malleus has the aforementioned Dragapult, except it's a super special non-canon color Dragapult (like an anime-only form that you could get in-game exclusively through some limited-time event where you have to show up in-person at a specific location in Japan) (it has some wacky overpowered exclusive move/form and the OT is listed as Malleus) (so like that kind of ridiculous specialness) (Leona is extremely salty about this). also hoards and hoards of Dreepy. Dreepy LOVE Malleus. they take naps on his horns inbetween begging him to throw them across the island at mach speeds.
Lilia has a Drampa and a bunch of Woobat that he hasn't actually caught, they just follow him around in swarms because they sense a kinship with him. (also breaking my own rule again to say that he had a Mawile in the past, because...I just really wanted to give him a Mawile...)
Sebek has Sandile for obvious reasons, and also a Pikachu that bullies him relentlessly. :(
Silver has a shiny Corvisquire; I really went back-and-forth on also giving him an Aegislash, but...hm. those pokedex entries though. he can stick with just one for now.
(I hadn't planned on the shiny for him, but after I'd decided on the Corvisquire line and was looking it up for reference, I realized that shiny Rookidee is gold and then turns silver when it evolves and I lost my entire goddamn mind)
#art#twisted wonderland#pokemon#poketwst#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#i literally did not realize until drawing this that lilia and mawile have same-hairsies#obviously i was correct to choose it#anyway i did briefly consider giving malleus a legendary because if anyone was going to have one it would be him#because he is the specialist little boy#but i just feel VERY strongly about him being covered in dreepy. this is absolutely necessary.#and honestly you know what#i think it's funnier if he himself is actually a (shiny) rayquaza#not in disguise or anything it's not a secret#he's just casually chilling in human form in a high school and everyone's like 'oh yeah that's rayquaza i have math class with him'#'i had to show him how to use the calculator app'#shoot i should've drawn him with rayquaza horns instead. dangit.
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"Young man, you cut that tsundere bullshit, I know what you're doing, I wasn't born yesterday." - Secret Brat Tamer Volkarin
#emmrich volkarin#dragon age#dragon age 4#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da4#DAtV#veilguard#dragon age spoilers#Call this man a convertible cuz he's a soft top#he's absolutely considering if he should just spank Rook then and there xD#I obvs had my Rook love the necropolis etc but I love seeing what other sides of Emmrich emerge#if you play a Rook who dislikes it/is reluctantly getting into it a lil' xD#and you get different lore and character trivia from each of your answers#like Emmrich has had romantic encounters in the past but hasn't had time for it the last couple of years#that the Mourn Watch wear grave gold to remind themselves of their own death#these are cool little bits i never learned in my own playthru cuz i picked other options so it's nice to find out#Rook's line in the last pic is all of us old man fuckers lbr xD
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Bingqiu AU where Luo Binghe's the chosen village sacrifice to the evil deity who lives up the mountain.
Normally the village sends maidens, but they've more or less run out of expendable girls of the right age and, ahem, "virtues". So of course Luo Binghe's early life bad luck kicks in. In the wake of his mother's death there's no one to really care about what happens to him, he's fairly pretty, and the village leaders decide that if they dress him up like a girl the teenaged homeless kid should pass well enough. And hey, y'know, he's probably got a hard life ahead for him anyway -- dying in a brothel of some venereal disease or on the streets of exposure or starvation. At least as a sacrifice, everyone else gets to benefit from his loss! And the kid will get added to a shrine and be remembered as a hero! If anything, he should be happy about this!
Binghe is not happy about this.
But he's also a skinny underfed nobody who is easily overpowered, dressed up like a bride, and tied to a post. So. Not much he can do but wait for the evil deity to come and do whatever horrible thing he's gonna do to him.
Meanwhile, Shen Yuan is pretty sure he's been isekai'd into the over-powered hero of some kind of supernatural adventure story? He's not totally sure because he doesn't recognize the setting, but the signs are there. He's got a shrine-like base of operations (though it seems to have become corrupted/ruined, probably he has to restore it somehow), he has a very resilient and handsome new body with spiritual energy of some kind flowing through him, and a very clearly magical sword. Plus lots of neat starter powers! Though it feels like he has other abilities that have been blocked somehow? Probably he has to level up in order to access them.
When he treks out of his "base" and finds what seems to be a distressed maiden, he takes it for his beginner hero mission. The girl claims that she's been doomed to be sacrificed to an evil god. That sounds a little above Shen Yuan's pay grade for dealing with, so he unties her and decides that they had better just get out of the whole region altogether. He already packed up anything useful from his base, anticipating he might get caught up in an adventure once he left, so they follow the river away from the settlement until they reach another one.
While they travel, Luo Binghe tells Shen Yuan about the cursed deity, Shen Qingqiu, who was cast out of the heavens for slaughtering one of his brethren and has apparently being do-who-knows what to maidens from the local village in exchange for his "protection" ever since. Sounds like a real asshole! And also mid-level boss type bad guy at least. Shen Yuan hopes he doesn't have to fight him, but he probably will.
Thank goodness he found Binghe, though! Clearly the helpful little sister type! He's definitely going to require her assistance if he's going to figure out how to navigate this world and level up his skills enough to take on a god.
#svsss#bingqiu#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#luo binghe: I don't know why the evil deity toys with me this much but as long as he is amused then he's not killing me#luo binghe: each day he lets me live is another blessing especially since I have no hope of escape#luo binghe: is it for some sick amusement that he drags me to and from the dens of monsters and feigns ignorance?#luo binghe: if I reveal that I know the truth will the ruse end? does he do this with all his sacrifices?#luo binghe: or is he toying with me because he knows that I'm not really a maiden at all? standing on this knife's edge is unbearable#luo binghe: and yet somehow this is the most stable my life has been ever since the death of my poor mother#luo binghe: the world is cruel -- perhaps if I become whatever it is this god desires I might be shielded from more of it for another day#luo binghe: wait I have heavenly demon blood? then... perhaps my dark master considers me a suitable companion thanks to this?#luo binghe: are we two companions in this wretched world? outsiders sharing scorn and thus only able to find solace in each other?#luo binghe: is this what it feels like to care and be cared for? it's been so long I had almost completely forgotten it#shen yuan: gosh these upgrades are getting convoluted I wish I had a skill menu or something#shen yuan: oooh neat a slime! easy exp!
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Anteater Weevil. Smaller than a great anteater and more arboreal, the species combo would eat more termites and sap from trees than ants on the ground.
@weevilsdaily Hope you don't mind me tagging you. Your blog is what got me to get down and fully design an idea I've had for a while.
I love both great anteaters and weevils so so much.
#my art#bug art#insect art#giant anteater#weevil#my cat cricket was enjoyed by so many that i had to make this one too#weevil/anteater would be my ideal pet... smaller than a giant anteater. probably perfectly lap sized#i kept both the ears and the antenna because i think both brings an interesting aspect to the nose/eyes balance#i considered the species having 6 legs but with all the hair it would have been too busy#and idk i like having four legs coming out of a 'thorax' area. that is what gives them the real bug-like feeling i think#because in most arthropods the legs only come out of the thorax
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I don't recall the books ever specifying what weapons Elrond primarily fought with and while he is usually given a sword by both the movies and fandom, I think it would be incredibly hilarious if he came out with fucking Dramborleg. They are getting ready for battle and he brings out this huge ass axe his gramps once killed balrogs with. Sir, you were discussing poetry 10 minutes ago, where did that thing come from
#or was it balrogs? it's been a while since i've read it#but he 100% killed some firey things during the fall of gondolin so whatever#the comedic effect of this comes from the fact that literally no one would expect elrond to have an axe#he just doesn't seem like the axe type#i know tuor's axe went to númenor (so presumably elros had it) and later was probably lost in the downfall#but consider: i don't think it was said where in númenor the axe was?#so if elendil had it he WOULD take it with him#and if the royalty had it#isildur already commited fruit-robbery what's one more#or elrond just got it from númenor before the downfall whatever#i am not figuring out the logistics behind my shitpost (this time)#elrond#tolkien#silmarillion#lotr
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In my mind this is canon
#fear and hunger#enki ankarian#enki#ragnavaldr#cahara#d’arce cataliss#digital art#csp#pixel art#my art#funger#ofc i had to redraw his enlightened art lmao#the amount of cuntiness hes putting into it is amazing#i fully believe he reads every book like this now#its just too good to me lol#also im pretty sure its from his s ending so i know no one else could be there but. consider. what if they were
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Countdown to October 19th (19/19)
Happy 15 Years of Dan and Phil 🩵🩵🩵
#woop it is done#19 gif/edits over the past 19 days#I just finished this with like 20 minutes to go#considering I have had this planned for months I sure left a lot to the last minute#I am glad I did it considering mere hours before the first one I was so close to deleting everything I had done#because my mind was just like nooopppee it's not going to be good and people will hate it#so I just scheduled my first couple of posts and just backed away from my computer before I could delete anything#and it was all fine and people were really nice about it#people have said a lot of nice things on many of these posts and I have really appreciated it#because I know at least one person liked my post which was a nice feeling#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#phan#amazingphil#my gifs#dnp gifs#danandphilgames#dan and phil games#daniel howell#dpgphanniversary#phan countdown
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basement guys
#hehehee ive been meaning to draw them lol#i have a bunch of comic ideas i wanna get around to but theyre gonna take a while orz#first one is based on a headcanon abt links humming coined by arystocat.. idk i had a really vivid interaction thinking abt it#the other one is longer but basically connecting the zonai are descendants of gods rumor with some zelda canon abt how#hylians have long ears to hear messages frm the gods.. rauru is really hard to draw though so i keep redoing it ugh#im also practicing how to properly draw faces and i think i like how these came out...!!!#i really suck at gettingthe 3/4 face angles right so rn i consider this a win#my art#myart#doodles#loz#legend of zelda#totk#tears of the kingdom#zelda#link#ganondorf#tloz#ok now i sleep
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