#like i get it. it's for setting the mood and stuff

[amazinglyashy]

hello!! can I request fluff reactions of the boys to mc craving something to eat in the middle of the night?

thank youu have a good day 🥰

I'm laughing because you asked this like it would be the most off the cuff situation, when literally every single one of these men canonly have an awful sleep schedule and nighttime habits. Like, there is absolutely nothing weird about this at all except the fact that you're awake when they're awake.

LaDS men when you crave something to eat in the middle of the night -

Zayne -

In all honestly, he was just now getting home from a shift at Akso hospital, so it takes him just a few moments to register why the situation in front of him was abnormal.

He can't help it, he's usually coming home in the early evening, not at three in the morning.

So when he sees you sitting at the counter, snacking on something, he simply sets his stuff down near the door and removes his tie, before coming over to give you a peck on the cheek in greeting.

He's made it halfway to the bathroom, yawning wide and telling himself to get some good sleep tonight- well, technically this morning- wait… morning…? What on earth were you doing up-

He's back in the kitchen in a second, with your eyes flickering back to him in an innocent question, confused as to why he's looking at you so bewildered.

'Why', is the only thing that comes out of his mouth, and when you finally process what he means by that, you can't help but give him a chuckle and a smile, still eating whatever you had gotten from the fridge or cupboard.

"I was hungry."

Not even going to question why you acted on your impulses to eat at three in morning. He'll just sigh, and tell you to make sure you get to bed soon for the sake of your health and mood tomorrow. Gives you one more kiss before heading off to get ready for bed himself.

Sylus -

He's probably just getting up.

So when he starts to rise and notices you lying awake, he's going to be confused, hoping to himself that you didn't have some freakish nightmare, especially not any possibly involving your past experiences with him-

No.

Turns out, you're currently trying to make yourself go back to sleep, despite wanting something warm to eat, but also not wanting to cook.

He's going to find it terribly endearing, letting out a little snicker and making you blush at his reaction, his hand carding through your hair as he leans down over you.

"I think you're forgetting something, kitten. I wake up around this time- meaning, I need to have something for breakfast before working on anything. You do know you can ask the chef to make you something right now, right sweetie?"

He won't say it, but you can tell he's so pleased to be eating with you, even though he knows you'll be heading off to bed right after, it's a nice change of pace for him. He's more than happy to have your company, no matter the odd hour.

Rafayel -

He's finally ready to kick himself into going to bed, but the moment he opens the bedroom door, he runs into you.

At first, he's worried.

Secondly, he's miffed that you got up to come and harrass him into coming to bed again.

Thirdly, he's extra miffed that none of the previous answers are true, but you're actually just hungry.

He's seen the way you snack, he knows you're not just making something up. And he can't exactly let you go back to bed hungry so-

That's how he ended up making a late night dish rather than finally heading to bed.

Any protests to him cooking fell on deaf ears. He's having none of that. He can tell you're still sleepy, and since he hasn't wound down yet, he isn't. So he's more than happy to cook for you.

Definitely wasn't hungry himself, definitely didn't forget to have dinner, no sir-

He'll sit and eat with you, asking if you had any interesting dreams, before making up scenarios that may have occurred involving food monsters and treat fairies.

He's not trying to hear that beautiful sound that is your laugh. Not at all. He's trying even less hard to make the meal last longer, just so that he can spend a little bit more time with you-

Xavier -

He probably saw you on his own way to get a snack, in all honesty.

You two just have to share a look, contemplating the situation, before the both of you begin to grin, realizing what the other is awake doing.

He offers to walk you around the block to the corner shop that's open 24hrs, so that the two of you can get some junk food or spicy microwave noodles to have together.

If you don't want to go anywhere, he'll either go himself or order delivery from somewhere that's open all hours so that you guys don't need to cook. He doesn't want to put out a fire for his attempts this late at night, and you either don't feel like it, or you're not the best at it yourself.

(You're still better than him though.)

Whenever the two of you end up getting your food, you sit together on the couch, legs folded over one another as you tangle together to watch an episode of something you've been binging.

You'll both wake up completely different though- having fallen asleep together on the couch after finishing your food, and ending up snuggled closely, a bundle of warm blankets and pajamas mixed with the relaxing sensation of the other's breathing.

Thank goodness today was the both of your day off...

[papaya-twinks]

get over it! - l.n - p.2

Warnings: Angst, swearing, mental breakdown, breaking glass.

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

A/N - sorry this took so long, I was doing all Lando’s birthday ones x

parts 🧡

Time Skip - Formula One Baku Grand Prix Pre-Race

Baku had always been a city of contrasts—historical yet modern, chaotic yet beautiful. And today, it felt like the perfect reflection of Lando's mood as he walked down the paddock, his eyes hidden behind his dark sunglasses, jaw clenched tight.

Since your little ‘incident’ with Lando at Qualifying, you’d made sure to steer well out of his way. You would rather not be blamed for his driving by Zak or Andrea anyhow. It did slightly piss off the mechanics on Lando’s side of the garage, however.

Your energy was something that helped a lot of them to keep going, and now you were steering clear of Lando’s while side of the garage. You hadn’t even noticed him sliding into Oscar’s garage, as you handed around drinks.

“Y/N,” he said, tapping you on the shoulder, your shoulders immediately raising defensively, your head turning away from, signalling your dislike in speaking to him. “Y/N," he pressed, this time with more urgency. "Can we talk?"

You shook your head, still not looking at him. "I don’t think there’s anything left to say,” you said simply, handing some of Oscar’s mechanics some drinks. "You’re avoiding me," he said, his voice tinged with frustration. "You can’t just walk away, not after what happened,” he said firmly.

“Yes I can, besides, why do you even care? It’s not like you to do so,” you said, placing your tray down, taking some new cups from the stack. “Some of my mechanics are pissed about you not being in the garage and stuff,” he mumbled, slightly annoyed.

“Oh, and they made you drag your ass here to ask?” you asked, a scoff on your lips as Lando rolled his eyes. “Sorry for asking you to do your own damn job,” he snapped, his voice filling with the frustration and bite from earlier.

“Let me do my fucking job, and stop talking to me, then,” you said, your voice with equally as much spite as you glared at him, his jaw set firm, eyes narrowed. You rolled your eyes, walking past him, your chin held high - so what if he was a driver? He didn’t own you!

You’d had many fights with Lando, countless, some of them about such minor things, you almost laughed when you looked back at them. Of course, there was a time, even after the Sochi incident, where maybe, just maybe, there was a chance he could have forgiven you.

But then again, it was Lando Norris. He’d do anything just to fuck shit up.

Flashback - 2021 Mexican Grand Prix

It had started innocently enough - a late-night discussion about his diet. He had asked you to double-check his hydration formula before heading to the gym. You’d pointed out that it didn’t seem balanced, that he'd been skipping meals. He’d brushed it off like it was nothing. But that was just the start. 

“Why do you always act like you know better?” he had snapped, voice low but cutting. “I’m the one racing out there. You’re just a helper,”. His words stung. You didn’t respond immediately, too shocked by the sudden shift in his tone. But when you did, your voice was tight with restraint.

“Just a helper?” you’d repeated, incredulous. “I’ve been working with you for years, Lando. Don’t act like I don’t know how to do my job,” you had said, your voice edged with a hint of shock and hurt. “You don’t work with me, Y/N, you’re not on my level, you won’t ever be on my level. You work for the team, at least get it right,”.

“You can’t just skip meals and expect your hydration to be perfect,” you had replied, a little more firmly. “Your body needs food to process all the fluids properly. If you’re running on empty, no amount of water is going to make a difference.”

“I’m fine,” Lando shot back immediately, his tone defensive. “I told you, I’m good. I just didn’t feel like eating. It’s not a big deal,” he said, his voice becoming more and more frustrated. Why couldn’t he understand what you were saying? And why did all your arguments have to be centred around water?

For a moment, it seemed like Lando was going to say something else, but instead, he crossed his arms, letting out a long, frustrated sigh. “I don’t need a babysitter, Y/N. I’m not a child. I know how to do my job,” he had said, his eyes narrowed once more.

The words hit harder than they should have. You’d been working with him for quite a while, supporting him in every way you could, and this was the first time you felt like he didn’t appreciate it. “I never said you were,” you had said, your voice cold now, your patience worn thin.

“But when you start acting like a diva and skipping meals while I’m the one having to pick up the pieces, then yeah, maybe I do need to step in,” you said, your jaw set firmly and your eyes narrowed. Lando opened his mouth to retort, but you turned away before he could, your back to him as you grabbed your tablet from the table.

Your hands had been shaking with frustration, but you tried to keep your voice steady. “I don’t have time for this right now,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “I’ve got a hundred other things to do,” you moved to his door, only stopped by his voice.

He didn’t respond immediately, but you could feel his eyes on you. After a long, charged silence, he finally spoke. “You think I’m just acting like a diva, huh?” he asked, his voice colder than you would have thought, sharp and almost like a snarl.

“Im not the one who fucking acts like I run the whole team off my own back - all you do is give water to people, Y/N, you’re useless!” he snapped, his voice raising as you flinched. “Useless? I’m not-,” you started, your own voice becoming louder.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/N! You think, just coz a few people like you, that you’re the one managing this whole team? You don’t do shit, Y/N, you’re not important! People would be sad you left your day or two and forget about it, okay? You’d be replaced in an instant, you have no skill!”.

All of this. Over a water plan. “I…fuck you, Lando,” you said, your eyes brimming with tears, voice cracking as you stepped out the door, not even sparing him a glance as you rushed away from him,”

Present Time - Formula One Baku Grand Prix

Sure, you were pissed at Lando, but it really wasn’t fair to take it out on the whole team, do, begrudgingly, you dragged yourself to Lando’s side of the garage to hand out refreshments, much to the relief of the mechanics and engineers.

Just imagining if Sochi had never happened in 2021, or you’d never said the comment that you’d said, it would’ve been some different, and you would’ve been cheering and going crazy with the team, watching Lando climb higher and higher from his low position.

You could practically feel the tension radiating off of Lando’s car, the stress of a potential championship fight that could be washed away due to one bad qualifying session, or the struggles of getting through to at least a points playing position, everyone was on edge.

Lando had a lot of positions to make up if he wanted to salvage his weekend, or at least begin to try and gain some points. And boy, did he make up positions. One after another, he passed car after car, refusing to let the mistake of qualifying 16th define his race. He was determined to prove himself.

As the race wore on, Lando's mood lifted. Every overtake, every clean pass, brought him closer to his goal. He had no idea what position he was in now—he was just racing, just pushing harder than he ever had. When the final laps came, he found himself fighting for 4th. And when he crossed the line, there it was: 4th place.

But all you could do was bury it deep inside of you and push Lando out of your mind - sometimes there were times when you wished you could have screamed and cheered with the team, like in Miami. But you had Oscar’s current winning margin to distract you from the hurt in the pit of your belly.

Time Skip - Post Race - Baku

The mechanics jostled round the garage, all talking, but slowly leaving, exiting the garage as the sky darkened, a pale shade of greyish-blue, a colour you found quite beautiful actually. Like a reflection of the ocean, in some ways.

“Why are you still here?” a voice snapped you from your train of thought, ruining what was otherwise quite a peaceful movement, your gaze forced sway from the clouds. “None of your business,” you scoffed, picking up your drinks tray from the side as Lando stared.

“I mean, kinda is,” he replied, his nose scrunched distastefully, like you were something or someone lower than him, which was how he perceived you anyways. “Everyone else has gone home,” he pointed out.

“Cheers Captain Obvious,” you said sarcastically, the glasses tinkling on your tray, some with lines of red wine at the bottom, beams of white from the lights above reflecting off the glass. “Whatever,” Lando said, his voice nearly a mumble as he dug he is hands into his pockets.

“Look, I’d appreciate if you stayed the fuck out of my way,” Lando said sarcastically, “I can’t stand your stupid presence,” he snapped, “there’s nothing to fucking be so happy about, I can’t have you annoyingly positive energy around all the time,”.

“Excuse me?” you said, not quite sure what to say after that little outburst of his came from. “You heard me, you’re stupidly positive and all you do is frolic around with that stupid little tray of yours,” Lando snapped, pushing the tray out of your hand, the plate clattering onto the floor, the glasses shattering at your feet.

“Lando, what the fuck is your issue?!” you half-screamed, scrambling away from the shards of glass scattered on the floor, cutting at the soles of your sneakers. “Just….fuck off, okay?!” he said, his curls a messy heap on his head, his eyes wild.

He looked on the verge of a full breakdown as you stared, in shock at the whole thing. He’d been fine a few seconds ago, what the hell had happened? “Lando, I didn’t-,” you started, raising your hands almost in surrender.

“I don’t care, I don’t care, Y/N!” he covered his ears, “Just fuck off!”. You said nothing, swallowing the lump in your throat as you stumbled back, away from the glassy heap on the floor, and rushing away from the garage. You’d never seen Lando break down before.

Was he…Was he okay?

[transformersandturtles]

Couldn't find any of this SO I WROTE MY OWN FOR A ONE SHOT‼️ I will write more but I thought this would be good for now‼️ I'm really sorry if this seems out of character for either of them, I've never written anything for them before. 🥲

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CW - Swearing, reference to explicit content, possible spelling errors (non reviewed)

Word Count - 2,017 words (10,995 characters)

𝑳𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝑮𝒐 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈!

"Wade, is there anything you need from the store?" The gruff voice of Logan Howlett grumbled from the kitchen table, reading glasses resting on his nose as he held a small notepad and pen. He'd asked Al earlier if she needed anything, that wasn't illegal substances he had no way of getting his hands on, so now it was just a matter of asking his partner, who had just gotten back from walking Mary Puppins. He tapped the closed pen on the wooden surface, peering over the ridge of the glasses Laura made him wear. Who knew it was easier to read with glasses? He'd have to get something to thank her next time she came by.

"Oh! You're going shopping! Ooh, let's see!" Wade had quite the grin on his expression, taking off the harness and leash from the ever loving Dogpool, who he totally didn't get the owner of murdered so he could take her, and he picked her up, letting her lick his face as she was coddled like a baby in his arms. "We need more dog food," he spoke as he waltzed over to Logan, his hood falling down as he did so, "and more milk. Maybe some more eggs, and a pack of XL-" before he could finish, he felt something sharp poke at his throat.

"All that's on the list, except that last one. YOU can get that on your own time." The old Canadian scoffed a bit, not exactly in the mood to entertain Wade's thoughts. But he couldn't hold back a small grin when the other Canadian whined at the threat.

"Whaaaaaat? But Honey Badger, I can't go alone. They'd look at me weird." He protested, trying to be dramatic all for the sake of being dramatic.

"Uh huh, sure bub. . ." Logan put his claws away, grabbing the napkin off the table by his empty plate to wipe the blood away as the spot between his knuckles healed quickly. "So, there's milk, eggs, toilet paper, new beddings, steak, vegetables, beer. . ." He mumbled, setting the notepad down to write a few more things that came to mind. Wade set down Mary Puppins and he leaned over Logan's shoulder to figure out what other things were added. Toothpaste, mouthwash. . .

"Oh absolutely not." Wade reached for the pen to scratch out the body spray. "No way in HELL are you gonna buy Axe. Are you TRYING to smell like a skunk? Your musk is enough to make a room full of E-Sports players sick!"

". . . The fuck is E-Sports?" Logan wasn't sure if he should be insulted, confused, or both. But he wasn't too happy about the comment either way. "Also what the fuck is wrong with Axe? It's cheap and smells fine." He scoffed a bit. "I'm not trying to spend over $100 to smell good." He took off the metal framed glasses and placed them on the collar of his T-shirt under the teal-blue flannel.

"And I'm not saying you need to spend $100 to smell good, I for one think you smell amazing. Gets the body goin'. . ." Wade gave a cheeky grin with a chuckle, looking Logan up and down for a moment before looking back at the list. "But Axe is the worst one to use. If you want something to smell decent for work, I'd recommend Old Spice at the very least. Sure, the smell names are weird as fuck, but that comes with all male hygiene products. Women get all the sweet and nice sounding scents like peach vanilla or sunset cinnamon. . . Meanwhile we get stuff like Pine Jizz or Whales Fucking or-"

"Shut the fuck up, Wade. . . . Just shut up. . ." Logan let out a groan of annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. Wade had a grin on his face, laughing a little at how Logan told him to stop talking.

"I'm just saying, Peanut, if you get Axe then you're sleeping on the couch or out in the hallway." Wade warned, before leaning in to kiss Logan on the cheek. "I'll go get ready." He hummed, and left to the bedroom to change out of his sweatpants and hoodie.

"Yeah, yeah. . ." Logan mumbled in annoyance, putting his hand to his cheek to hide the light blush across his face. He huffed and stood up, stretching as his joints popped and cracked, from his lower back to his legs and neck. He popped his jaw a bit, before going to the coat rack to grab his brown leather jacket he got for a fairly good price last week. It was nice, not too tight but not too lose, and had some decent pockets. Perfect for carrying booze. . . Or other stuff he didn't want to pay for, maybe. He was THE Wolverine, and taxes were too expensive sometimes. Who was gonna throw him in jail if he shoplifted? No one, that's who. He adjusted the collar of the leather jacket, getting it how he wanted before stopping when he heard the bedroom door open. He looked at Wade, and stared at him almost dumbfounded. "You are NOT going out like that. . ."

"Why not, Peanut? You always like it when I dress this way." Wade teased, he wasn't serious about wearing the outfit in public, but he wanted a good reaction out of Logan. Besides, the outfit was pretty comfortable but no way in hell was he having enough confidence to show off his unicorn crop top and short-shorts. He didn't mind wearing it when he was having his great days; where he was overly confident and eager to show off his body despite the scarring. But today wasn't one of those days, especially since it was getting cooler as Autumn was coming in after what felt like eons of Summer. Wade did notice how Logan's complexion had turned a few shades of a deep red while looking, which also made Wade's cheeks turn a soft pink.

"Alright, alright, hurry up then. . ." Logan sighed softly, not even making a comment or retort to what was said because Wade was right. Logan crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for Wade but was surprised when the bedroom door closed again and he frowned. Did he say the wrong thing? Did he upset Wade? The mutant stood quietly but worriedly, his nose twitching a bit as he sniffed the air, trying to figure out if Wade was upset or not. It was hard to tell, so he stepped closer to the door. There didn't seem to be any low serotonin levels, they seemed about as normal as they could be for Wade. His nose continued twitching as he kept sniffing past the door, still trying to figure out if he upset his boyfriend or not, his ears twitching a little as well as he listened carefully. Before he could figure it out past the smell of everything else on the other side of the door, he was met once again with the face of Wade who seemed surprised at how close Logan was to the door. But that surprise soon turned to playful, mischievous grin.

"Aww, was someone worried about me?" He teased, wrapping an arm around Logan and leaning in to rub his nose against Logan's cheek. The gruff man scoffed with a growl, not out of hostility but annoyance, as he bit Wade's cheek with his big canines.

"Like hell I'd worry about you, dumbass. . ." Logan grumbled, moving away from Wade but didn't move too far so they could at least hold hands. "Let's go. . ." He sighed heavily, taking Wade's hand and going to the door to get their shoes on as Logan grabbed the keys to the apartment and put them in the pocket of his leather jacket with the notepad.

At the store, Logan had to keep holding Wade's hand so the younger wouldn't run off, who knows what that undiagnosed dork would go find and beg to have. Logan had his glasses back on as he looked down at the list in his hand. He had a specific order to get everything in, and if he had to deviate from that plan he might just lose it. Wade was very aware of his boyfriend's thoughts and methods, and honestly he didn't mind holding hands and walking with Logan, though he did stop a few times to look at something that caught his attention.

"We really gotta get you an appointment. . ." Logan mumbled as he gently tugged Wade along so they could keep shopping to get everything on the list. He headed over to the produce section, his hazel eyes gazing over the different fruits and veggies, letting go of Wade's hand for just a moment so he could find the perfect vegetables to cook for dinner. He'd started learning how to cook lately and had a nice dinner planned, so he made sure that the ingredients would be edible and not rotten inside or anything of the sort. He grabbed some potatoes, a few peppers, and for something sweet as a snack for later he grabbed some apples, a grapefruit, and a cantaloupe though it was slowly coming out of season and probably wouldn't taste as good as it does in the summer but he didn't care. He goes to check the ingredients off the list and turns to hold Wade's hand again, only to find the other Canadian had vanished. "Great. . ." Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath before grabbing the shopping cart and continued with his shopping, knowing he'd find Wade eventually, tracking his scent wasn't that difficult due to the constantly dying and regenerating cells, along with the citrus-pine smell he had. His ears and nose twitched every so often as he leaned his elbows against the cart to push it, walking around and glancing around as he got cheese, milk, eggs, and some other things in the aisle, a gruff and raspy hum vibrating in his chest as he tapped his sharp nails against the metal bar of the cart while listening to the music playing through the store. It was crappy compared to what he liked, some hit pop song the youth enjoyed, but damnit was it catchy in the kind of way that it was really annoying but kinda good. He whistled a little, getting everything on the shopping list and went to the aisle full of booze before an announcement rang over the store's system.

"Logan Howlett, please come to the front. Your child is waiting." A bored teen girl sounded over, the tone of her voice a mix of boredom, with a hint that screamed she did not get paid enough to watch over someone or help. Logan raised a brow at this, confused. Laura wasn't here, was she? But then it clicked, and he groaned slightly with some annoyance. He grabbed two packs of the good beer and headed to the front, finding Wade near a desk who seemed happy and relieved once Logan arrived.

"Honey Badger! I was so worried you left without me!" Wade nearly tackled the older man the moment he could, and Logan grunted, a bit startled.

"You're the one who ran off, idiot. . ." Logan scoffed, glaring at Wade before looking down at the soft thing between them. "Wade. . . What the hell is that?" He frowned. Wade looked down, and a big grin was plastered on his face.

"Pompompurin! He'd be great to sit with Hello Kitty and Cinnamoroll!" He beamed, excited even as he held the large dog plush. Logan wanted to say no, to make him put it back, because who knows how much money that thing cost, but the longer he saw those big eyes, Logan eventually let out a groan of defeat.

"Fine. . . But you're payin' for it, bub. . ." Logan patted Wade on the shoulder, before taking him and the cart to the self checkout aisle so he could scan everything himself. Logan didn't like strangers touching stuff sometimes.

"Fine by me!" Wade grinned, watching Logan scan everything and he snorted a bit, amused by his odd yet loving boyfriend.

[cilil]

Hi, do you have any advices for budding writers on AO3 or here?

Hey! :)

I've given this some thought and compiled what I hope might be some helpful pointers, but if there's anything else or anything specific you want to hear more about, feel free to ask again. Also I'm assuming this is about the amazing craft of fanfic and not, uh, building a platform or whatever (I wouldn't be very helpful with that, I'm a nobody x)).

Share what you feel comfortable sharing.

So since you're asking about budding writers on AO3 and Tumblr, I take it you're at a point where you feel comfortable sharing your writing online, which is amazing. Nevertheless, I feel the need to once again mention (just for anyone who may be in the same or a similar situation) that it's completely alright not to be comfortable with it (yet) or not to share everything you write. I share almost everything simply because I'm annoying and it makes me feel accomplished and since I've grown pretty comfortable with it, I might as well; but not everyone feels that way and feelings also change. It's completely alright to write just for yourself or a small circle of friends.

Don't worry too much about "being good".

I will be the first to admit that I deeply relate to struggling with perfectionism when it comes to writing (and other creative pursuits). However, as someone who's been reading fic for many years, tends to be into quite niche and obscure things sometimes and is rarely spoiled by big fandoms' abundance of food, I want all writers, especially new ones, to know that you don't have to write the most amazing, perfect, publishing-ready pieces. What matters is your passion and creativity, which will show in your writing regardless of skill level. Not to mention that fic is free and in fact a tool for many to experiment.

That's not to say you can't strive to improve or be good - by all means, I find it admirable if you want to hone your craft and make progress as you continue to write. Just don't let perfectionism ruin your fun and stifle your creativity.

How to get better without trying overly hard.

Aside from just writing, writing and writing (that is the most important part though), how do you improve without making it a point to do so? Well, if it works for you to read/watch guides or you enjoy specific writing exercises, that's great, but one thing that I find gets overlooked a lot in writing spaces is simply: Reading. Just reading for fun.

I find that I often discover little things in other people's writing that I really like and then I think to myself "wow, that's really neat how they did that, maybe I could take a page out of their book" (pun intended) and make it a point to pay attention to these things when I write. Essentially, it's like creating a nice patchwork blanket which is your style, made up of your own voice and preferences as a writer and cool stuff you picked up on the road.

Let me just name some examples, which, yes, are also an excuse to shamelessly blow some writer friends of mine a well-deserved kiss of appreciation. @sauron-kraut writes incredibly polished short stories with beautiful wording and atmosphere that have a lot of little hidden things to discover and dissect, and I want to steal her ability to set the stage and hide those easter eggs. @a-world-of-whimsy-5 is an absolute legend when it comes to writing medieval and medieval-adjacent stuff, and I learned so much from her fics. @i-did-not-mean-to has a way of writing with such esprit and wit that I always end up in a good mood after, a style of narrative voice I've adored for over a decade, and I've greatly improved my humorous writing in particular thanks to her. @crackinthecup has the marvelous ability to craft extremely emotionally evocative scenes, which have encouraged me to be more courageous and experimental in my sentence melody and structure. @tragedybunny has a way of writing that reminds me of coming home to a warm and comfy place, and I will find out how she did it and how I can do it as well.

So as you can see, it can be super helpful to compare notes with your fellow writers. Never be discouraged by someone else's ability; instead learn and expand your own.

Feedback, criticism and community.

Let me just get one thing out of the way: You don't have to take criticism from everyone. Or at all. As far as I understand, the fanfic community has come to to agree that we're doing this for fun and don't give criticism unprompted/when we aren't sure it's wanted or welcome. As a general rule: Take criticism from those you would also seek advice from. Ask for feedback if you feel comfortable, and if not, that's a valid boundary to have and I will gently smack anyone who presumes to pick apart writing that was made for fun and generously shared with the community for free.

The community aspect, however, should be taken into account on other fronts. While I won't tell anyone they have to interact and believe that, in an ideal world, everyone's writing would just speak for itself, it is helpful to engage with the community. Things you can do (both on Tumblr and AO3 if also applicable/possible) include: Respond to people interacting with your works, interacting with other people's works (for example while you're doing your reading sessions and looking at other writers' styles) and just overall being present, being talkative, going with the flow.

Again, this is not a must. But I will say that pretty much all of us want positive responses and interactions on their work and that just won't work if you expect everyone to show up for you all the time and never show up for anyone else. Engagement, passion and community are our "currency" in the absence of money and reciprocity is an important element of that. A lot of friction and complaints in the fanfic community regarding lack of interaction or entitlement are rooted in misunderstandings of this fundamental principle.

But don't take this in a cynical manner. Seek out what you enjoy, share the joy and passion and you'll make friends just accidentally - which is the part that I find makes fandom on AO3 and Tumblr so much fun! (I don't even want to be a "traditional" author anymore, I want this instead😁)

Find your groove and groove along.

Lastly, make sure your writing is fun for you or else it'll become a chore and eventually get ruined for you as a hobby. This is unfortunately a continuous task as your needs and interests shift - for example you might be in the mood to do an entire drabble challenge one month and during another month you feel so drained that you couldn't do another one. Or you might want to write something different for a change. Or whatever it may be.

Either way, one recent lesson I've learned is that I got too tied up in obligations and it left no space for spontaneous inspiration, so I never got to write what I wanted to write in the moment and it pushed me quite close to burnout. Do yourself a favor and always hold that space for yourself. In practice, this could for example mean that you do one event and on the side write this cool new idea you had, instead of doing three events - which is fun and games until it starts getting too much and you don't have time for your passion projects.

Finding your groove also includes the whole technical aspect, such as which writing programs you use, which device (or none at all), where you write, how to make yourself comfortable, how to get in the right headspace for things. I would also like to encourage all of you to be a bit crazy and whimsical about this: For example I've gone to the perfume store, picked out a scent for a specific character in a specific scene and sniffed it while writing the description several times now. Do what it takes. And say goodbye to your squeaky clean search history - you will research some weird stuff just to get that one line right.

So yeah, these are just my random thoughts on fic writing and what has been helpful in order for me to have lots of fun with this hobby. Happy writing!

[qoldenskies]

Babagril I adore clipped wings and you are feeding my insatiable hunger for heavy angst and impeccable writing but I am a littol concerned about how fast you're putting chapters out recently. I know they've been on the shorter side compared to the beginning but plase don't push yourself too hard okies? We can wait, I just don't want you getting burnt out or something :(

Also you are so meanies to us why must Donnie constantly go through the horrors its the fic ive always craved and I am sobbing, thank youuu

hey hey im fine!! i should probably clarify that im genuinely just a fast writer and im. yknow. an unemployed 18 year old who doesnt have much to do other than stuff like this, and im fed and moved along by all the praise and kindness. you dont have to worry about me!! honestly a HUGE thing im aiming for while writing CW is the joy of getting to complete something, i actually crank these chapters out in like a sitting if im in a good mood LOL (theyre kind of scrappy, but im trying to combat my perfectionism. pretty much every time ive said im gonna take a bit i find myself too excited to, ive got a big hyperfixation on CC at the moment and all of the good reception has gotten me even more hyped bghdghfh. you have NO idea how much i stare at the fanart you guys have made for me ily....). for my next project i plan on writing a lot in advance and pacing myself better (especially because i want to do longer chapters for it), but for CW im happy to just speed through!!

^^ helped along by the fact that im trying to avoid making chapters long for the sake of it now. i dont really have a goal in mind for wordcount with this next set, because i think i want to think in what progresses more than that

and thank you!! teehee the thing i want to move to next is so much sillier but i do enjoy taking a real good dip into The Horrors....... not sure where i'll be going after wwww but its planned to be a HUGE undertaking anyway. but i will probably be returning to the horrors. and maybe CVD ive missed her my love

[jor-elsemissary]

In bed? Or just in general?

I suppose more classical in bed. Lionel would certainly play something along the romantic genre when he’s in the mood for it. Chopin most likely. He thinks rock n roll and country are mood killers. Martha says it just takes the right band and songs to set the mood. They haven’t agreed on that yet.

But when around the penthouse/manor doing normal stuff, yet more classical unless Martha gets to the remote first. Then Lionel has to endure Elvis and the Beatles, Aerosmith and AC/DC, Madonna, etc etc.

Okay but evil Martha would that mean...good Lionel?

OR power couple mionel

Basically earth 2 luthors BUT Martha is there. Lex isn't dead. Tess is treated better.

And they are all one evil ass super family that succeed in taking over earth.

Zod: Kneel before zod

Martha: Who the fuck do you think you are talking too?

Clark: Oh you're dead.

Brainiac, Zod, Curtis Knox all kneel before the luthors. [[Martha]]

Darksied: Foolish earthlings

Marthq: *evil stare of death.*

Darksied:

Darkseid: How dare you all not built a statue towards your leader......

Martha: That's what I thought.

Lionel: *in love. Lust and pride all at once for this woman*

Both. Both is good.

But the idea I had when drawing that one was that in that version, for some evil nefarious reasons lex had somehow gotten ahold of Martha to turn her into a weapon to use agaisnt Clark, hence the lexcorp logo, Shes essentially just a husk following orders blindly, super enhanced, Lionel is on the good side, absolutely lost and furious and is working with the watchtower to try and find a way to get her back but also find out and reverse whatever lex had done to her.

On the other hand evil versions of both of them? My God, Instead of being a good senator/president she decided to just take over the world by herself, unfortunately alot of people don't like that, But a certain millionaire sponsors her and everything goes to plan. Lex and Tess are her advisors, Lionel just blindly follows whatever martha does and tries to impress her with takeovers etc.

[relaxxattack]

trying to go through the psycholonials tag why are you people saying the art is ugly and bad what the hell. did you actually read the whole thing or were you turned off by the Pixels on the first page

“it’s not as imaginative or interesting as anything in mspa” what the hell are you talking about.

do you understand how hard it is to get these colors to look this gorgeous together. do you even try to be immersed in zhens mental state (which is quite obviously what the art is evoking especially for characters like percy or the cops).

i would argue that not only is the juxtaposition of this style incredibly whimsical and fun as hell but actually some of it’s more technically advanced than art in homestuck

look at this guy! look at the level of rendering and shadow! how are you thinking this is ugly!

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

four walls playlist

[shirogane-oushirou]

───[ First Meeting ]───

when poke!ren and poke!ro meet, ro's sitting at the water, drawing the landscape using chalk pastel, their team sitting around them or playing off to the side... and then they see A Little Freak (affectionate) crawling around in the grass, looking for Critters and things to forage. and he's focusing so hard that doesn't realize they're there until he's right beneath them, almost bumping into their chair ;;;

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Breaking The Code - Joshua Whitmore/Reader

Warnings: Gender-neutral reader, no use of Y/N, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, brief canon-related mentions of self-harm and suicide, happy ending.

Wordcount: 9152

Summary: You see him as he's being admitted to the hospital a few streets away from your home, and it would be so easy to just keep walking, but something about his sad eyes and mysterious identity draws you in until you need to see him again.

Notes: So the other night I was talking with Salem about Joshua as they watched Cass for the first time, and we decided that our truth was that he needs a happy ending ;w; so I wrote this instead of sleeping~ Turns out you can hit a pretty bad burnout after writing nearly every day for a month straight, so I wrote this one for myself and Salem to try and get some of my inspo back 😌 It was pretty cathartic, writing him was a lot of fun and helped me get some of my own personal feelings out, so even though the love for him might be smaller than his other roles, I hope those who read this like it 💗

When you first see him, you’re walking home for the day. Your familiar path always takes you past the hospital, it’s the fastest way and you’re in no mood to dawdle after the stress of work making you call it early. Just as you’re about to pass, an ambulance pulls up, siren blaring and making you jump out of your headphones the closer it gets. You turn to watch in morbid curiosity, a little dose of schadenfreude to lift your spirits before the guilt takes you, but everything changes when you see him.

He’s awake on his stretcher as they take him out, his eyes on the sky and looking empty as the EMTs call in for emergency surgery on his ear and a decent amount of blood loss, as well as malnutrition. Your glimpse is brief, they want him inside as fast as possible, but you still notice the way he holds onto an old hardcover book resting against his stomach before he’s out of sight. You follow before you can stop yourself, listening for a name and catching only ‘Whitmore,’ and to keep out cameras if the news comes for him.

A high profile person you’d never heard of, perhaps? You can’t recall any Whitmores in your small celebrity roster, especially not a local one who looked like that. You can’t think about it too long as you get noticed and shooed away, and you do as they say as he’s rolled towards the nearest elevator so he can be prepped for his surgery.

You don’t hear about him until a few days later as you eat your lunch in the breakroom, catching just a glimpse of his face and last name before the channel is changed to something more interesting moments after you notice him. It wasn’t long enough to get any new information, but it is enough to spark your interest again with the confirmation that he was indeed some secret celebrity you hadn’t heard about. You don’t ask for the channel to be changed back, but you do make a mental note to take your shortcut again after work is over.

You figure he mustn’t be too high priority as you reach the hospital, looking as inconspicuous as possible as you sneak past the couple news outlets trying to get inside to interview him, no one major for now, but maybe that was just because no one knew where to actually find him yet. It was only a matter of time, people were nosy like that, yourself included as you strolled inside and pretended like you were there to visit someone you actually knew.

You take a walk, glancing at the names as you pretend to change your song, your head down and pointing at your iPod as you don’t ask for any help or directions, constantly pretending like you were there for a legitimate reason. As you reach the top floor, you start to wonder if maybe he was there under a different name or if he was still there at all when you catch a glimpse of a familiar face as a nurse walks through a door coming up on your left. You see his bandages first, the white so stark against his dark hair, and then you see his eyes, still so empty as he just looks at the food that was presented to him, completely uninterested in eating.

You quickly duck into the bathroom nearby as the nurse heads your way, turning on the light and the sink to make some noise as you listen for her footsteps to fade, and when they do you surround yourself in silence again as you figure out what your plan is here. You found him, room 415, and the name under the number is indeed a fake to throw anyone off, your eyes just barely able to pick out ‘James Robins’ from your distance away, so what now?

Do you really wanna talk to him, or are you there to join in on the spectacle? Did something about him interest you that day, or do you want to be able to say you met a celebrity for the first time in your life, aside from that one time you swore you saw Brad Pitt stopping for gas at the station by your duplex? Are you really going to go over there and hound him for an autograph or something before the bigger news outlets find him and he has to be moved somewhere else?

You peek around your corner and see the closed door, something drawing you to it but not the desire to see fame in its most vulnerable state, not that at all. You let go of the wall and slowly approach, constantly looking back and forth to make sure no one was about to catch you before you’re there, your hand raised to knock. It takes you a minute but you do, your knuckles lightly rapping on the wood as you wait for an answer. Nothing, so you try again, a sigh your reply before you get the okay to enter.

He’s facing the window when you come in, food cooling and that old book waiting over his legs as he just stares at the sky due to you being so high up. He waits for you to do whatever you need to before the silence stretches on for too long, and when he turns his head back to face you he looks surprised, it showing in his eyes as he looks you over. ‘You here for an interview or something?’ he asks in a raspy voice, like he isn’t used to talking, and when you don’t reply right away he gestures to your hand.

‘IPod,’ you tell him as you show him what he thought was a tape recorder, and he gets even more confused.

‘What do you want, then? Are you also a photographer? Here to take a picture of me to sell to those vultures waiting for me outside?’ He says it all so bluntly, despondently, and you can only shake your head again as you slide your headphones down to your neck, the tech such a contrast to your passable business casual outfit. ‘So it’s art you want, then; sorry to break it to you, it was stolen yesterday, you’ll have to get in line if you want something new while I’m stuck in this cage like sharkbait.’

‘I don’t want anything from you,’ you finally manage to say, shocked by his negativity; how did someone like him ever manage to become a celebrity? 

‘You don’t? Find that hard to believe, everyone wants something, don’t they? People, all they want to do is take take take, no one wants to give, let alone create, do they? So when they find someone who gives or creates they just want to take it, make it their own, just paint over it so no one can ever know who it belonged to and what it meant to them and everyone else who just wanted to enjoy it, isn’t that right?’

You don’t know what to say, you’re genuinely stumped for words as he goes on his tangent, and when he sees your face he knows he’s talking to a wall. He turns away from you again, looking at the sky as a bird returns home on the ledge just outside the window, her nest tucked into the corner where her eggs are waiting for her return. She settles back down over them, her body all fluffed out to keep them warm, and you can see him also staring as his fingers curl out towards his book. It’s then you understand, he mentioned art, he’s an artist so this must be his sketchbook, no wonder you hadn’t heard of him. He doesn’t open it however, he wants to draw but he has no pencil, just the book.

‘I… I just-’ you start to say, but he doesn’t respond, probably because his bad ear is the one closest to you at the moment, ‘I just wanted to see if you were okay.’ You say it a little louder so he’ll hear, and again you confuse him as he glances your way. ‘Do you- would you like a pen or something? I might have one in my bag somewhere…’ You start digging around in the messenger bag you carry around with you, it holding whatever you bring home for the day, your old laptop, and an assortment of random things you’ve tossed in there since the last time you cleaned it. You hunt through unorganized papers and folders and a mountain of loose change before you manage to find both a mechanical pencil with its eraser almost completely worn and a company pen you’d stolen, one of many since you never seem to find the last one when you need it.

You hold out both to him and he looks at them as well as you, trying to find any selfish reason why you’d offer these tools to him but there were none, and he seems to get that as he takes both. Instantly his food is handed to you so it’s out of the way as he grabs his sketchbook and opens it to a new page, the bird staring at you as he starts drawing freely. He forgets you’re there in a matter of moments, so focused on capturing the simple beauty outside and distracting himself from his current situation, but you don’t mind. You set the food down on the small cabinet to his left, careful to make sure he could reach it while still avoiding the machines hooked up to him, one of them an IV that dripped endlessly to the clear tube leading to his bandaged hand. 

You end up sitting when he continues to ignore you and his dinner, just watching him as he draws shapes until they start to take form, his movements wide and hard to track. He doesn’t work on just one part of what he sees, he does a bit of everything at once until it slowly comes together as one image, the bird watching in interest until sleep takes her and she gets comfy for an early night’s rest. He doesn’t stop even with her pose changed, still seeing her in his mind as he starts to detail her face a little, stopping to add in errant feathers and abstract shapes behind her for the city.

When he finally stops you can’t help but stare, and you stand to get a closer look, your presence making him jump when you get too close, clearly he thought you’d left. It’s beautiful even in its incomplete state, or maybe this is what he wanted, you don’t know, you can’t find the words to ask as you look at the bird in the dimming light outside; when had it become so dark? ‘Is this it? Did you give me these so you could get an original Joshua Whitmore?’ he asks bitterly, your eyes on the page again.

‘Who?’ you say before you can stop yourself, and you blink in embarrassment as you stutter out an apology before the look on his face silences you.

‘You really have no idea who I am, do you?’ he asks softly, and again you shake your head. ‘You just wanted to see if I was okay?’ You nod, your cheeks flushing slightly in a little more than embarrassment. ‘And wha- what do you see when you look at this?’

He holds up his sketchbook for you to look at again, and you reach for it but he pulls away, you can look but not touch, got it. Your eyes scan the paper just like you’d been doing for who knows how long, and you smile as you turn back to him and his almost nervous expression. ‘I see a bird in her nest, I'm sorry, should I be looking for something else? I’m not one for art, I don’t really know what to tell you,’ you admit, but this answer actually pleases him, calms him as his shoulders relax just a little.

‘You just see a bird, yeah, that’s what I drew,’ he repeats to himself as he smiles weakly, and he looks almost relieved in this before the door opens and you’re interrupted. It’s the nurse from before, and she stops in her tracks when she notices that he’s no longer alone.

‘Oh no, do you want me to call security, Mr. Whitmore?’ she asks nervously, and he looks at you before telling her no, he knew you. ‘Oh, okay, but visiting hours are over so you do have to go, I’m afraid,’ she tells you next, and you glance at your watch to see that you’d somehow been there for almost two hours, so lost in him drawing that you didn’t even notice the passing of time. As if on cue, your stomach gives a rumble for its delayed dinner, it spreading to him as the nurse then notices that he hasn’t eaten anything, and you walk out as she places his tray back on the moveable table attached to his bed. ‘We’ll have to put you on another IV if you don’t eat, how many times do I have to tell you?’ she chides him, and he opens his bottle of water to take an experimental sip before the door is shut and you’re left alone in the hallway.

You head home now that your curiosity has been sated, but you can’t help but repeat his words in your head all the way there, him saying that he knew you making your chest feel warm even as you heat up some leftovers and watch a movie by yourself.

You don’t go back right away, unsure if he’d appreciate you coming back now that he could draw again, but you still feel that pull follow you over the next few days. You have Sunday off, the one holiday in your busy week, and when you step out to grab a few things for dinner you find your feet carrying you in the opposite direction as you head back to the hospital. The news vans are still outside, cops now stopping them from getting in and disrupting everyone else inside, not just him, and you have to show your work ID in order to prove you’re not with them. It’s almost enough to make you turn around, but you’re moving on autopilot all the way back to the fourth floor, his name still under the number, he hasn’t been moved yet. 

You knock on the door and he allows you in, and you could swear his face brightens just a bit when he sees that it’s you. He doesn’t look as terrible as he did the last time you saw him, like being able to draw helped brighten his situation just enough to bring back his appetite based on the empty tray waiting to get taken away. He’s drawing again as you walk in, and the TV is on to a random station, probably the History Channel based on what was currently on screen, sketches of the animals filling the page to create a lively scene.

‘You came back,’ he states more than questions, and you just shrug and hold up your bag of groceries.

‘I needed to grab a few things, it’s my day off so I wanted to actually cook something tonight,’ you tell him like he’d care, and he surprises you this time by nodding towards the bag.

‘Anything good?’ he pries, and you hold the bag open for him to see, showing off the random contents inside that you hoped would turn themselves into something delicious so you could enjoy the spoils. ‘What d’you plan to make with just that?’

‘I had some stuff already at home, this is just what I’m missing,’ you say, and he eyes the bag again before opening his mouth to speak.

‘You think… nevermind,’ he quickly backs out, and you urge him to continue. ‘Y’think I could steal one of those apples? Or do you need them all?’ You don’t, you can still make a damn good apple crumble with the bag minus one, and you tear open the plastic so he can choose his favourite. ‘Thanks, kinda hard to keep fruit fresh when you’re on the road,’ he says as he shines it on his blanket, and when he bites into it he looks like he hasn’t been able to taste anything like it in much too long.

‘You travel a lot?’ you ask as the juice runs down his chin, already grabbing a tissue from the box nearby so he doesn’t make a mess on his sketchbook.

‘You could say that,’ he mutters between bites, and when there’s nothing left but the core you hold the bag open for him to grab a second. ‘No, I couldn’t,’ he refuses, but you just shrug and grab one for yourself, you can always buy more on the way home. He watches you take your bite before indulging, grabbing two and placing one on his moveable table for later, and the feeling that fills you at the sight is sweeter than the fruit. ‘What were you gunna make with these?’

‘Apple crumble, I used to make it all the time with my mom when I was growing up, she’d always put in a ton of cinnamon so it always tasted better than something store bought,’ you say as you can already taste it, and he looks down at his half-eaten apple as something takes over his expression.

‘Haven’t had a chance to cook something in a long time,’ he says, mostly to himself, like this is something he’s been thinking but hasn’t actually said aloud yet. ‘Hard to keep fruit, hard to pack a portable stove, hard to carry around a kitchen on your back when there’s so many better things to bring; need a bed, need paper, so many needs in the face of those wants. It’s easier to pack light in the pockets, find a place with water and refill, harder to keep the smell of cooking food from escaping an empty house.’

You just listen as you eat, he’s on another tangent and you don’t dare interrupt, but this one is sadder than the last, and you notice how tired he looks as he sinks into the bed. It’s then you notice that he has nothing around him in this room, no get well soon cards, no balloons, no sign of anyone visiting him even with the circus outside waiting for a glimpse of him. It’s just him, his sketchbook, and now his single apple waiting for him to eat it tomorrow. You toss your own core into the trash and grab a tissue to wipe up the juices, you made sure to grab your most favourite brand to make your dessert as delicious as it could be, and the bag feels heavy in your hand as the store branded plastic shifts when you do.

‘I just remembered I forgot something, so I need to head back to the store before it closes,’ you suddenly say, and he looks at you with those tired eyes when you speak. ‘So, if you want, you could maybe ask for something for me to get? Since I have to pass by this way again anyways.’ It’s a lie, it’s so out of the way it’ll take you over a half hour to get back home on travel alone, but he doesn’t need to know that.

He thinks about it a while before declining, the apples were enough, but that’s not a good enough answer for you; you reach into the bag and pull out a few more apples, loading up his table with them, and he looks ready to object but they’re already out and it would certainly be a pain to put them all back, wouldn’t it? He looks at the bunch, and there’s way more than he probably wants, but he looks thankful all the same. 

‘You won’t have to worry about storing them when you’re here,’ you just say, and he brushes his bangs away from his eye as he tucks his pencil behind his good ear.

‘Not unless I leave here tomorrow,’ he figures, and something pulls at you again.

‘Will you still be here tomorrow?’ Your voice comes out small, hopeful yet worried, and he touches his bandage and flinches.

‘Don’t think they’ll let me outta here until I can pay for all this,’ he wonders, his hands going for his book as his eyes lose a little light, ‘everything has a price, even the reason I’m in here.’

You want to ask but you can’t, it’s too soon even though it feels like he wants you to, but he doesn’t bring it up again even as you turn to go. ‘I’d better run or else I’ll be eating this dinner for breakfast, if you’re still here tomorrow I can bring you some, if you’d like?’ That also feels too soon, but the light he lost returns at the offer.

‘You don’t have to,’ is what he actually says, but his small smile gives him away. You nod and turn on your heel towards the door, his voice making you stop before you enter the hallway. ‘And if you have to come back this way, could you… would you mind if I asked for something else? Some charcoals, paints, anything small I can hide from them while I’m here, all my stuff was seized back at the house.’

He doesn’t explain why, you don’t ask what happened.

‘That might require a different trip, but I’ll see what I can do if that’s okay,’ you say instead, and he returns the smile you give him.

Work keeps you away for the next few days, and you’re sure to take the car to work on Wednesday so you can do some proper shopping. It’s cheaper to walk, but the gas expense is worth it as you find the only art shop in town before you hit the grocery store. It’s small, and doesn’t have much, so you have to settle for the cheap stuff for kids as you peruse the aisles in search of what he wants. You end up grabbing a few extra things as well, like different coloured pens, a couple erasers and more graphite to go with the pencil, and another sketchbook with thicker paper for his new supplies; you really don’t know a lot about art, and you don’t correct the employee when he asks if you’re buying for your kid, although you do at least say it’s for a friend’s kid as you hold the supplies a little closer to your chest.

You cash out and make for the grocery store, buying mostly for yourself and wishing you knew what he liked other than apples so you could give him some treats to have between mandated hospital food. You wonder if it’d be too forward to ask again as you check everything off your list, your thoughts only on him as everything is packed tightly into several more plastic bags that you then pile into the cart so you can load them into your car. His art supplies occupy the front seat as everything else is stuffed into the trunk, and when you’re done unloading it at home you add a tupperware case filled with leftover apple crumble to the bag as well, it sealed extra tight to make sure everything stayed safe.

You carry the bag the few blocks to the hospital, noting that the number of vans has increased as more important looking people try to get in. You don’t need to flash your ID this time, the cops from before recognize you and let you by as you’re bribed into finding their media target, but you just ignore them as you cross the threshold. You head straight for his room, knocking again as a courtesy and finding that he already has company; there’s a doctor and a couple nurses already inside and checking him out, his ear exposed as his stitches were examined to see how he was healing.

The bandages cover his table, his sketchbook placed on the cabinet along with his remaining apple, medical supplies decorating a nearby cart as the wound is cleaned. They’re so busy they don’t notice you until after the door’s been opened, and you finally get to see what’s under the bandage as cleaning swabs and lights are shined over the area; the topmost part of his ear is gone, a space the width of your thumb where the curve should be, the doctor asking him if he can hear anything as his other ear is covered.

‘The ringing stopped yesterday,’ he answers, a nurse snapping her fingers directly beside him, and he flinches away from the sound, the test positive.

‘You’re lucky the gun didn’t rupture your eardrum with how close it was,’ she says as she goes back to cleaning, the other nurse already getting out a new bandage, ‘if you hadn’t been found, you might’ve bled out.’

‘Wasn’t aiming for my ear,’ he says like it was the most normal and unconcerning statement in the world, and you nearly drop your bag at that. The sound gets everyone’s attention, including his, as they all turn to see you, his eyes meeting yours before the door is shut in your face. You almost leave but you decide to wait it out, finding a spot against the wall and getting comfortable. The next time the door opens you get an apology for the slam, but it’s fine, you were intruding, after all. You’re about to go in when the doctor sees your bag and stops you, his hand on your arm and holding you there with just enough force that you know to listen very carefully to what he’s about to say.

‘He’s reassured us that he knows you, but please try to refrain from mentioning he’s here to anyone else,’ he says, already looking tired even though it was far from sunset. ‘It’s just a rumour for now, but people have been bribed recently to find out if he really is here; the people outside aren’t what he needs right now, not after what he’s been through, and I fear what going back out there will do to him before he’s ready.’

What happened to him?

You want to ask it so badly but you can’t, it’s not for this doctor to say, and you both know it. He releases your arm after a quick look in your bag, so much for hiding his supplies, but it seems to be approved as he heads down the hall to meet his next patient. You straighten yourself up and knock, and it takes him a while but eventually he answers, already knowing it’s you. He looks tired again, not even seeing you approach him as he plays with the edge of the new bandage.

‘How much did you hear?’ he just asks, not even looking your way.

‘More than you,’ you reply bluntly, and it catches him so off guard that he can’t help but look at you. You both stare at each other as you flounder out an apology, but the lights return as he chokes back a laugh, the first you’ve heard since you’ve met.

‘I guess you did, yeah,’ he says, and then the air is lighter as you approach and show him what you’ve brought; you worry it might not be good enough but he seems pleased with your finds, especially with the second book. ‘Did you go to the place down by the lights? I stopped by when I first got here, there isn’t much, thank you for this,’ he says as he spreads everything out, looking ready to tear it all open and get started.

‘I also brought you this,’ you tell him as you then pull out the tupperware and a fork, and he looks at it before taking off the lid and breathing in the scent of apples and cinnamon. ‘Sorry I couldn’t bring it sooner, it’s been a nightmare at work, I haven’t been able to have a minute to myself lately.’

‘And yet you choose to come here when you do have a minute, your life must be very unexciting if this is the preferable option,’ he figures as he takes a bite, not even bothered by his words to the point where you couldn’t take any offense to it. Something like euphoria flashes across his face as he eats, and your cheeks heat up as he tries to control himself from eating too fast but fails, all of it gone before you know it. ‘Wow, uh… I see you kept up the tradition of loading on the cinnamon,’ he thinks aloud with a lick of his lips, the floor suddenly very interesting as you feel a need to look away.

‘Yeah, it really brings out the apples,’ is all you can say to that, and then you’re taking the dishes back and placing them in the bag. ‘I can make more, if you want? Or I can find something else to make, if you have any requests?’

‘Are you some kinda pâtissière?’

‘What? Oh, no, I just think… people are at their happiest when they’re sharing the fruits of their labour, and in my family, that labour was always food, so I find comfort in that now, as an adult. Does that make sense?’ You’ve made things for others before, family dinners, potlucks, celebrations at work, but never have you felt more scrutinized until now as he licks his lips again, already ready for seconds even though you have nothing left to give.

‘It makes perfect sense, what good is there to make something without having someone to share it with? What use is a feast without it spread over a table set for family and friends, or music without an audience to get lost in the sound, or-’

‘Or a painting without anyone to appreciate the vision and share their own, right?’ He looks up at you, something in his eyes that screams yes, that you got it, but also something sad, like he didn’t believe it was true at the same time. ‘Did you share your art, before you came here?’

You know you shouldn’t ask, but you can’t stop yourself.

He slowly stacks everything up and places it out of the way, his old book back on his lap and his fingers playing with the rough edges of the cover as he goes over your question in his head. ‘I did, for a few years,’ he starts carefully, eyes on you as he watches for your reactions. ‘Outta college, I got spotted by a few potential dealers, got a contract with one, started selling my work while I got a job to pay the bills. One painting sold, then another, then five, then I didn’t need to work anymore. Suddenly what I loved to do was my job, and it wasn’t what I loved to do anymore.’ He slides his fingers under the cover strap, holds on tight as the lights leave him again, he doesn’t like to talk about it but he doesn’t stop. ‘All those eyes on my work, on myself, everything torn apart by people who didn’t get it and distributed via cameras for free to those who didn’t appreciate it. 

‘Deadlines were forced on me, I was pushed to sell whatever I made, it was no longer about me or how I felt anymore, it was all about the money, who could bid the highest on a piece of me that I’d so painstakingly torn off and decorated for the world to see, all sealed up in a shiny new frame. So-called experts who defined their own meaning over mine, collectors who just wanted to fill a space in their third home, people who didn’t even look at what was inside the frame only because my name was on it and they’d heard I was the talk of the town.

‘And then it happened, someone claimed to see a miracle hidden amongst the brushstrokes but I hadn’t painted any miracle, something so beautiful and abstract can’t be confined to canvas and paint, not by me. Suddenly, everyone was seeing them, everyone wanted to bring the angels home with them and were desperate to do so, and I lost my name under the title of Prophet or Saint or, god forbid, an Angel myself. I am none of those things, and they stole- they stole myself from me, my passion, everything I was so they could keep seeing what they wanted to see, all everyone does is take take take.’

You don’t know when you’d sat down but you blink and find yourself in the chair nearby him, his eyes no longer on you as he lets it all out, his hands waving and lip quivering; he’s crying, this is his barest self, and you wonder if any of what he’s saying has to do with the bandage that washes out all the other colour in the room as you hear him say in your head that he wasn’t aiming for his ear.

‘Did you stop, after all that?’ you ask, and at first he doesn’t hear you, the bandage really muffles your small voice from this side, so you get up and move to the right side of his bed instead. You sit down and he tries to hide his tears from you, but there’s no pity here, you didn’t come for an interview to market and sell to the masses, you came to talk to your friend. You repeat yourself and this time he hears you, his eyes glancing up to meet yours before he’s looking at his book again.

‘I tried, but the demand was too much, they wouldn’t let me get myself back.’

‘What did you do then?’

He smiles bitterly, his right hand moving from his book to rub at his left wrist, and from this angle you can see the scars peeking out from behind his thumb. ‘I made a miracle,’ he murmurs softly, ‘I made Joshua Whitmore disappear.’ You reach out and take his hand, holding it tightly over his book and surprising him yet again, although he doesn’t pull away from you. ‘I didn’t do it to kill myself, I had a friend help me get out of there safely after I trashed my studio, but it was still enough to make everyone think I was dead, and in that I was reborn, free to take myself back again. I couldn’t touch the money I’d made from my work anymore, couldn’t go back home, so I packed up whatever I needed and hit the road after my scars had healed.’

‘And you’ve been traveling ever since,’ you finish for him, now understanding what he’d meant before about wants versus needs. ‘So everyone thought you were dead, and that’s why they’re trying so hard to get in downstairs, they wanna see the miracle,’ you put together, and he nods, his hand limp in your own. ‘If you can escape them, will you run again?’

He chuckles but there’s no joy in it, he looks more tired than you’ve ever seen him. ‘Does it matter? They’ll know I’m out there, they’ll know it’s me the moment this happens again, I couldn’t break the code and now they’ll take me away again.’

‘And if you found somewhere to hide?’ You hold him a little tighter, his eyes shutting at the thought of already trying that and failing, it evident as another tear creeps down his cheek. ‘Somewhere permanent, where they’d never find you, I mean.’

‘Where could I find someplace like that? I was careful, I was sososo careful this time, and I still-’ His hand grips yours for just a moment as he tenses, angry at himself and how it all turned out. 

‘You could-’ You stop yourself from telling him he could stay with you, it’s too much, you’re still strangers even though you knew this much about him now, how could he ever find solace with you after three days spread out over less than two weeks? He couldn’t, and you know it. ‘There has to be somewhere, I could help you.’

‘Help me?’ He looks at you again, doubt and unparalleled cynicism on his face, but you don’t back down.

‘I won’t take from you, Joshua,’ you tell him firmly, and he holds your hand for real this time, weakly, but still on purpose. ‘I’ll find you somewhere you can sketch and paint and take yourself back from them again, and you can hide there for so long you won’t have to run again, do you trust me to do that for you?’

Something different flashes across his face then, something in between his cynicism for his life and hope for what you’re promising. ‘If you can find it, then I’ll go,’ he agrees, his body deflating as he sinks into the pillows, ‘I’m so tired of running, it’s almost as bad as the lying.’

‘About what?’

‘Everything, I couldn’t do it anymore.’

You feel too far from him as he closes his eyes, your body moving on its own as you climb up further onto the bed and get in close, his eyes opening as he tries to see what you’re doing. You wait for his okay, your hand still holding his as he shifts to his left, freeing up enough space for you to lay yourself next to him, your shoulder pressed tight against his. He’s stiff beside you, clearly it’s been a long time since he’s been this close to another person, but you need him to know you’ll come through on your promise, that you truly aren’t there to take from him as you share your warmth and your company.

You don’t know when it happens, but you end up falling asleep like that, only waking up when the nurse comes in to check on him and sees you in bed with him. She comes over to your side and gently shakes you awake, whispering that visiting hours were over as quietly as she can with you still being able to hear her. You blink yourself awake, your arm completely numb as you roll onto your back and attempt to sit, and you see why she was being so quiet; he’s asleep beside you, his book open to a new sketch you couldn’t decipher quite yet, his pencil still in his left hand and telling you he must be ambidextrous considering his right one was still clasped in your own.

You let go, the nurse helping you get up without disturbing him, and he looks so peaceful as he stretches out and tries to find your warmth in his sleep. You wish you could stay, and you wish he could go with you, but those are things you can’t say to him, not yet. You gather up your bag with the dishes inside as quietly as you can before sneaking out, the nurse checking him over as you leave, and when you get home you make another big batch of apple crumble for him to enjoy the next time you visit.

Now that he’s shared so much with you, you make up your mind to share as much as you can with him until he’s ready to leave, making him treats and dinner foods since it was the only time you could visit, each one bringing the light back to his eyes even as the vultures gathered outside to peck him apart again until there was nothing left. You start bringing work to the hospital so you don’t fall behind, the two of you peacefully existing around each other as he draws and you do your job in a chair nearby. When he stops to eat you pull out a bagged dinner, and the two of you sit there and talk while the History Channel silently shows off beautiful scenery and animals in the background. You share your life the way he did his own, the two of you getting closer as his ear heals, his hearing returns, and he gets his strength back.

You bringing him so much food helps his malnutrition, and sometimes you climb onto the bed with him and pull up classic art on your laptop so you can hear what he has to say about it, and he has so much to say. He’s fascinating to listen to, he really knows his stuff, and when you joke about taking lessons from him he just brushes it aside and says that he could never be a teacher even as he tells you all about the random painting you think looks cool as you scroll together. You enjoy your time with him as the world continues on outside those four walls and the windows, the only reminder of the passage of time being the sun as it sets once again.

‘Tomorrow’s Sunday, want me to make you breakfast this time?’ you ask as you stretch, his bed much comfier than the chair but you can’t keep stealing the space, not without an excuse.

‘Sunday breakfast, been a long time,’ he muses as he also stretches, sick of being in bed after so many years of doing nothing but moving. ‘Maybe if we sneak out the back tonight you can take me to your place, that way you don’t have to keep bringing me food here like some kinda delivery person,’ he jokes, and you pray that he can’t see how red your cheeks are becoming at the thought. ‘And… have you found a place for me to hide yet?’

You freeze, wanting to say yes more than anything, and when you look into his eyes you swear that he wants to hear it just as much. ‘Actually, I-’

The door swings open as the doctor walks in with a policeman, the two of you staring in apprehension as the door is closed again behind them; it’s late now, much too late for this to be a simple chat, and you start to move towards him protectively even as the cop stares you down. ‘Mr. Whitmore, after these past two weeks going back between statements from Ms. Skinner and Mr. Morris, as well as the children present, mainly Mr. Walker, we’ve come to the conclusion that it wasn’t a suicide attempt, although the breaking and entering needs to be addressed,’ the cop says calmly, and Joshua shuts his eyes tight in what doesn’t look like relief. ‘We’ve already contacted your bank back in New York where your funds have been frozen, and we’ve worked out a way for your remaining money to pay for your stay here, but the matter of the fine still needs to be taken care of.’

‘How much is it?’ you ask without hesitation, your hand already going for your messenger bag, and the cop looks you over before turning back to him.

‘And who’s this?’ he asks, Joshua looking at you before calling you his friend. ‘Well, since he technically did stay under supervision here while he healed, and the money is being transferred to the hospital for his stay, his fine still comes to $1000; abandoned or not, it’s still private property.’

‘I’ll pay it,’ you announce, Joshua already trying to talk you out of it but it’s useless, your checkbook held out as you write down the amount using one of his pens since you once again couldn’t find your own. The cop allows you to, the matter now settled as you hand over the thin strip of paper, Joshua not meeting your eye as he stares at his book with an unreadable expression. The cop tucks the paper into his pocket and tips his hat to the two of you, wishing you both a good night now that he was free to go again, the doctor staying behind to finish the conversation.

‘You can continue seeing us if anything changes, but you can be discharged as soon as tonight,’ he explains, Joshua still not looking up. ‘If you have somewhere to go, I suggest you do so, save yourself another day of billing; just be sure to keep from sleeping on your left, let it finish healing.’

‘All my things were seized, might as well sleep in a warm bed one last time before I pick them up and find a new bridge to sleep under tomorrow,’ he mutters to himself, the doctor shooting you a concerned glance as you try to force the words to come out. The doctor sees you struggling and gives you a moment to speak even though visiting hours were once again over, the sun set outside and the lights inside making the windows turn to mirrors. ‘You can go now, I won’t have you trying to buy more of me,’ he suddenly says like he believes it, and it shocks you so much that you can no longer stay silent.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I see it now, the supplies, the food, now the fine, all handouts for the poor, struggling artist, can’t even keep an apple fresh on the road, that’s right, isn’t it?’ He’s gathering up his stuff, no longer interested in spending the night and looking ready to run again.

‘Wha- none of that was a handout, I was sharing with you, I thought you got that?’ you try to tell him but he’s inconsolable, his legs swinging over the side of the bed as he gathers everything up in his arms.

‘Yeah, everyone takes, what were you going to take from me when all this was over, huh? Did you want to be the one to nurse me back to health and carry me out the doors for everyone to gawk at? The hero who saved Joshua Whitmore, brought him back from the dead? I bet that would lead to a few good interviews, maybe some TV time, can’t forget about the flash of the cameras even now; I wonder if they’re waiting for us, can’t keep them waiting, can we?’

He was on another one of his tangents, saying everything that came to mind without pause as he overloaded with too much all at once, and you race around to his side as he stands and heads for the door, ready to step in front of the vultures to be willingly devoured. You hold out your arms to stop him before looking up, he’s much taller than you thought after seeing him only sit or lay for two weeks, briefly distracted by it before he’s trying to push past you to get to the hallway. ‘No! I’m not letting them have you,’ you insist, not wanting to grab him and force him to stay, but when he shoves you a little too hard and you stumble you can’t help but cling to his arm in an attempt to steady yourself. He stumbles with you, everything falling to the floor and scattering, and you both forget your fight as his sketchbook opens to the page you’d seen before, the one you couldn’t decipher.

You stoop down to pick it up as he runs his hand through his hair and tries to take it away, your eyes on the page as you see yourself, presumably from his perspective as you slept on his shoulder. You flip through the pages after that, seeing yourself again and again before he grabs his book and holds it to his chest, his eyes on his remaining things on the floor, all gifts from you. ‘I thought you were different,’ he mumbles, and you feel your lip quiver before you’re closing the gap and hugging him, trapping him in place.

He tries to shift free but you won’t let him, mindful of his ear as you tuck yourself into his right side, your hands clasping behind his back instead of holding him, something in you telling you that you wouldn’t be able to let go if you grabbed onto him instead. ‘They weren’t handouts,’ you tell him again, his hands and book pressed tightly between you, ‘I wanted to help you…’

‘What person drops $1000 on someone they barely know?’ he says into your hair, and you pray he doesn’t feel you shaking.

‘A friend does, I thought we were friends…’

‘You don’t wanna be my friend, no matter how many times you visit, you still barely know me.’

‘I do, I wanna know so much more, I want…’ You swallow, your hands letting go of yourself so you can grab onto his shirt instead. ‘I want so much more…’

You’ve surprised him again and you know it as his breath hitches, and he tries one last time to be cynical, to run. ‘What’ll you take from me if I let you?’

‘I won’t take anything, I told you already; I just wanna be able to share more with you, I don’t need a miracle, I don’t want you to disappear again.’

‘...Don’t lie to me.’ He tries to sound confident in his despair, but there’s hope in there as well.

‘I don’t think I can lie to you, not after this,’ you admit, and he laughs in a way that isn’t entirely bitter.

‘Good, I don’t think I can handle you lying to me.’ He backs away but not to run, and you allow him to look down at you; he’s crying, but so are you, and you hope that he can tell that you’re telling the truth when he looks from your pink cheeks to your eyes until finally settling on your lips. You think for a moment he might kiss you but he doesn’t, just sniffs and kneels down to pick up everything he dropped. You help him, and he’s about to climb back into bed for that final night’s sleep when you grab onto the back of his shirt and stop him.

‘What happened to sneaking out the back?’ you ask softly, and the lights return to his eyes as he follows you out into the hall. 

The front desk is in perfect view of the doors where you still see people waiting on the other side, so you flag down a nurse to get him checked out from afar as you casually walk by them and hurry home. You return less than 15 minutes later with your car, parking it just out of sight in the back where he can’t be seen no matter how hard any paparazzi try, and when he comes out dressed in scrubs you eagerly unlock the door and bolt before anyone can look too hard.

You park your car in the garage and lead him into your home, and at first you feel self-conscious about it because he used to be the high profile celebrity you originally thought he was, but as he looks around he doesn’t look bothered, and when he sees the painting on your wall he stops and stares. ‘Who did this?’ he asks as he examines it, and you smile faintly as you remember the day you got it.

‘My grandfather, back before he passed,’ you tell him, and he looks at you instead. ‘I was too young to understand what he felt when he painted it, but I think being around you might’ve helped me understand a little bit better now.’

‘What did he feel, then?’

‘Love.’ You look up at him, your shoulders touching as he turns back to it and nods.

‘I think so, too.’

You sleep in the next morning, your arm numb again as you navigate the tangle of blankets you’ve trapped yourself in in the night. It took some convincing but you managed to get him to take your bed, needing to insist it wasn’t a handout after so many years of sleeping on cold floors, and when you peek in on him you can see how much he needed it as he covers as much of the queen mattress as he can. You grin and start on breakfast, wanting to let him get some proper rest for as long as he can until the smell of food awakens him and pulls him to you. You’re still no chef, but you can also make some damn good scrambled eggs, and he looks way too hungry to criticize you.

‘Need any help?’ he offers, but you’re pretty much done so you direct him to the cupboards to set the table instead. You both move in a comfortable silence until you’re sat together, and you smile into your coffee when you see how he finally looks like himself again.

‘Sleep well?’ you ask as you hand him the jam without him needing to ask just based on how he watched you cover your toast, and your fingers brush as he takes the jar from you. He stares a moment before spreading it liberally over his own toast, and his eyes don’t leave you as he takes a big bite.

‘I think I finally broke the code,’ he suddenly says as you wait for his answer, your head cocking to the side in confusion at the second mention of this code. ‘I think I know why so many people saw miracles in my paintings, no matter what I drew.’

‘Why’s that?’ you ask around a mouthful of eggs and potatoes, and he draws something in the air that you can’t see, although you know that he can.

‘People see what they wanna see, they’d rather put meaning into their own truths than face the reality staring right at them,’ he muses, still drawing.

‘And what does your reality say?’

His hand lowers back to his fork but he doesn’t look away from you, and you eventually have to look away under his warm but steady gaze. ‘It says I don’t have to lie anymore, that this might be…’ He just looks at your painting without finishing his sentence, but you already know what he wanted to say, your own confession of this being where you wanted him to stay going unsaid but accepted all the same the moment he crawled into your bed. Outside the window behind him, a bird similar to the one outside his hospital room lands on your sil, and she stares at you before chirping out a quick song and flying away; the light coming in from the window covers him in a faint halo but it holds nothing miraculous in it as he looks at you, the man before you just that, a man.

‘I think so, too,’ you reply, his smile matching your own as you share your life with him, Joshua ready now to do the same with you.

[kazz-brekker]

i really liked that fourth wing had a disabled main character who is also a total badass, and i did appreciate that she and her love interest discussed birth control before they had sex, but also i did wish that they would also discuss her disability in the sex scenes as well because i feel like being repeatedly slammed into various surfaces by your six and a half foot tall built like a tree boyfriend would probably be about as hazardous for your joints and bones as practice combat sessions

[sysig]

DAX is just so expressive ♥ (Patreon)

[thetimelordbatgirl]

Watching a Winx Club video and huh, Mal from Descendants finally has another member in the 'our franchise slowly ignored our interest in art and creating it': Bloom.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

so i never said this to anyone and bottling this up is exhausting so i'm just gonna vomit it here. PLEASE SENSITIZE CHILDREN TO ART.

[kingofcomedy]

stumbled into a weird mood again :/

[seariii]

I was stressed but now i'm more chill and really sleepy...