#what the fuck INDEED

[edisoncastile]

Feeling the pull on his hand, Eddie blinked over at his charge in surprise, allowing him to take it back, the sudden change in tone catching Eddie off guard. Considering the mood he'd found Adrian in, he was expecting a lot more pushback — more sarcasm and half-truths. After the progress Eddie thought they'd made, especially since they'd started sleeping together, it was incredibly frustrating to think they were almost back to square one. He thought he'd finally made a difference, that even though he'd accepted he didn't fully understand spirit and all of its consequences, that he'd found a better way to relieve Adrian of that pain, to break him free from the cycle he was seemingly trapped in, one that didn't require him to sedate himself. Yet, he'd still found his Moroi alone on the street, getting high as if nothing had changed. The realisation hurt a lot more than he was expecting it to.

Yet, this conversation suddenly felt different. It wasn't heading toward a full-blown argument, like it might have been before that first night in February. On his own, Adrian had broken the cycle for them, pulling Eddie right back in instead of committing to the space. And just like that, the guardian felt a spark of hope, replacing the ache that had began spreading through his chest. Perhaps their physical efforts had made a difference after all. Eddie had never seen this level of vulnerability from Adrian, not in this setting, and certainly not in the daylight. For a while, all Eddie could do was stare back, stunned. Then slowly, surely, a smile crept over his lips, feeling that spark grow.

Confirmation. Assurance. Just as Eddie had reassured the man that night outside Barcelo, dispelling any belief that their physical relationship was one-sided or being forced, Adrian was doing the same for him now. He wanted him. Adrian wanted him as a guardian, to have him be by his side and actually stay there. It didn't matter that the Moroi couldn't say it completely, or perfectly, and that he looked obviously uncomfortable with the revelation — he'd still done it. He'd broken the cycle, bared his soul just enough for Eddie to wholly commit once more, to shred all doubt about their relationship and what it had become. More than ever, Eddie was prepared to damn the rule book. His training was important, he knew, but this felt far more effective than anything he'd ever been told to do. Adrian, and his wellbeing, was the most important thing, not following the rules. Eddie had been hesitant before, when the Lightwoods resumed training. He'd thrown himself back into the gruelling schedule, the demanding system, and he'd done so without hesitation or question, feeling entirely out of his depth and wanting only the best for his charge. But it hadn't been the best. This, the pair being closer than they ever had been before, hands intertwined, truths being spilled, was the best.

"Okay, then," he nodded in finality, smile still wide despite his best efforts to suppress it. He could sense Adrian's anxiety, and didn't want his expression to become off-putting, but Eddie couldn't help but revel in the realisation that they were going to be okay. Their match was a good match, and everything he'd done so far was working. It had been the right call. "Then I'll keep staying with you. Simple as that." He accompanied his words with a squeeze of his hand, satisfied they were heading in the right direction. "Honestly, it would make me feel better, too," he shrugged, willing to be just as honest. "I like knowing that you're okay. And I know how you feel about all this stuff, the training and the fucking rules." He stopped, sighing. "I know it's a lot and something you're not really used to. But I need you to know, that even if you don't really understand why, I want this. Okay? I want to be your guardian. It's all I want. And I know you want me, too. So, can we please stop arguing about it every single time?" He chuckled dryly, hoping they'd finally come to a resolution. He knew there'd be days Adrian wouldn't be thinking clearly, but he was hopeful they'd now be further and farther between.

Adrian didn't respond, knowing Eddie was right. Once he sobered up, and actually slept for himself, he'd return to training in an attempt to ease his guilt. It'd be enough, for a few days, until the cycle reset itself, and he found himself trapped in his own mind again. The idea made him nauseous, and if Eddie wasn't sitting beside him, Adrian knew he'd have rolled a second spliff in an attempt chase away the feeling.

Seeing the immediate effect of his own words displayed on Eddie's face hurt Adrian inexplicably, but in an act of cruelty, he made no apology for them. But he also lacked the strength to commit to them, his guard dropping down as quickly as he'd built it up. If he was drunk, perhaps he could've managed it. But smoking mellowed him, and he found himself too tired to fight for an ending he didn't believe in. He was addicted to his own co-dependency, to needing someone. Whether it was a result of their assigned bond or something deeper, Adrian was unsure, but nobody provided the level of comfort Eddie did. If Adrian wanted his guardian, he was there. If he needed taking home, or holding, or distracting, Eddie was there, regardless of how much Adrian pushed him in the opposite direction. Nobody else could've displayed those levels of patience or commitment, not even his friends. Adrian gave pieces of himself away every night, easing the nightmares of rebel's he didn't even know, but Eddie took nothing from him. He only ever gave. He filled in the holes Adrian's abilities left in his spirit. If Adrian didn't have Eddie, the world around him would continue to darken, and he was unsure whether or not he could handle that.

They were quiet for a while, Adrian drifting off in thought, trying to comprehend the emotion he felt. He'd almost forgotten how harsh his own response had been, until he felt Eddie pull away. Then abandonment related panic overtook anything else, and he immediately reached out, pulling the blonde's hand back. "No. No -- of course I don't." The thought of being alone terrified him most of all, contradicting his own actions. He believed he deserved it, and that Eddie deserved better, but that'd never be something he wanted. "Eddie..." He finally met his dhampir's eyes, his own expression softening. He was always most honest when bordering on sobriety, which was his current state. It was also when he was hurting the most, unable to keep his playboy bravado mask up. "If I ever tell you yes to that question, know that I'm lying. I'd never want you to go, and I'd never want another guardian. I need ---" the sentence died on his tongue, uncomfortable with his own vulnerability. But after everything Eddie had endured for him, Adrian had to at least attempt a truthful response. "It has to be you. I don't wish it to be that way, for your sake. But it is. The only time my mind allows me to stay grounded enough to sleep is when you've stayed with me." Adrian had avoided delving into wondering what that meant, desperate for comfort without repercussion. For now, he wanted them to just be.

[skellymom]

a 220 IQ Bad Batch line

Lol

[avantgardechild]

imagine, ur kipperlilly copperkettle, ur watching smugly as that rat bastard riz gukgak is clearly trying to look for you to attack you, when suddenly, the freak just jumps straight into the lava that is pooling up around you

[18catsreading]

Phoebe and the zombie collapase

Dr. Tara: what the fuck? Did you just kick a gun? What the fuck was that? What the fuck is this? Why were they dead? Why is this happening?

[renalyxx]

[smileymoth]

you ever see sth so disgusting it like completely makes you lock in to actually doing the schoolwork youve been putting off for weeks

"thats enough internet for today" reaction . what the fuck

[dickpuncher420]

i just saw your tags abt being in the last year of your masters program (CONGRATS btw) and had a moment because I remember reading your Zukka fics on ff.net waaay back in the early 2010’s and wow… here we are. Proud of you, internet stranger. You fuckin rock 🥰

BRO?????

back on fucking FFNET??? ur a fuckin REAL one bro omfg….this is such a sweet message im gonna cry 🥺😭 ily whoever u are, kind internet stranger

[cassmouse]

100 pages exactly into Paradise Rot, I'm over halfway through, I've only been reading it for like two days, and my only thoughts are 'what the fuck' and 'piss'

[silvermikey1]

ahhh~!!!

Haha yeahhhhh no so it exploded. Because what else would you expect. Not the worst situation for the Draxums though, they still managed to get the oozesquitos, and they were gonna release them anyway. Still, gonna be annoying to clean up the mess....

And also everyone managed to remain unarmed from the blast..... hold on though are we not forgetting anyone?

In all the chaos Donnie, April and Mayhem managed to regroup and they understandibly teleport out of there as soon as possible because fuck this whole situation. So YAY they managed to escape! :D But also aw man Long Lost Little Brother ran off... :(

(and don't worry about Huginn and Muninn they're alive!..... probably)

And GODDAM that's the final part! Finally got episode one of the AU over and done with yippee! :D

Of course, we do still have some plotpoints left we need to adress. For example, dunno if anyone has thought about this, but Donnie never got to explore Draxum's fancy mystic weapon room in this version fo events, which means he never got that mystic crystal! And if he doesn't get that crystal, then how is he gonna get the ability to detect mystic energy, I wonder 🤔🤔🤔

Also, Donnie's only gotten one side of his Secret Backstory and he's gotta go get some answers from Splinter, but either way we'll get to all of that in future updates!

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Mini epilogue lol:

[ghostintheatticc]

like father, like son

[flanaganfilm]

man what is your fucking problem i just watched midnight mass for the first time and ive been crying hard enough to crack a rib for the past thirty minutes jesus fucking christ genuinely what the fuck

anyway keep up the good work 👍

If Netflix had released a blu-ray set for Midnight Mass, this is the blurb I'd want on the cover

[kaava]

3

You make one joke comment and next thing you know you’re spending all day recreating a 19th century masterpiece but worse and dumber.

[egophiliac]

do skully have pokemon?

Pumpkaboo is the obvious one, but y'know, sometimes the obvious one is the right one! (we'll say SUPER SIZE Pumpkaboo, just for fun. big pumpkin for big skeleton boy.) and another person actually also suggested Greavard, which I somehow hadn't considered, but feels so perfect that I feel like I should have. dangit.

(they can also have little Nightmare Suit costumes :D)

[technically-human]

Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?

Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?

It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3

Glad you asked

ko-fi

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

[legobiwan]

"First, let's get something out of the way: a human's ability to grasp reality is painfully limited. You don't even have free will! Don't believe me? Okay, rip a dollar in half right now. Didn't do it? Didn't think so!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"PS: Look what I just ripped in half! Suck it!"

~~~~~~~~

I love Stan so, so much for this.