#like i genuinely dont care man

[fishsouper]

guys is it bad that during the whole "debate" on the validity of objectum my only thought is "oh like five hargreeves" 😭

[puppppppppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[bedforddanes75]

im not american but some of you guys are just fucking stupid ong what do you MEAN youre not gna vote because you disagree with like one part of what youre voting for. like okay me when im fucking thick

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

[sleepboysummer]

ricky potts.... the fact that pretty much everybody in his life let him down and yet he still holds so much hope for humanity????? he died so cruelly and he still shows no anger for the people who brought him there??? hes so kind even in death despite everything he's been through??????

[moonyslesbian]

i know tim said we're not getting a cliffhanger but man. how good would it be if we got buck nde while eddie was leaving LA to go get chris back and had no way of knowing. like maybe its the a shift's day off and eddie decides on a whim that actually, he wants his kid back mom, and he buys a last minute plane ticket. and buck gets into a car accident or his loft burns down or whatever. and everyone's in the hospital waiting room getting frustrated at eddie's number going straight to voicemail and wondering just where the fuck eddie is. meanwhile eddie's on the plane sitting and thinking like Hmmm i wonder if chris will come more willingly if i mention buck's name... :)

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

thoughts on tfem eridan

all headcanons are valid but tbh eridan is very masc, and seems to prefer it that way. even taking into account that most of his outfit emulates dualscar, when he does make clothing decisions that aren't inspired by dualscar, they're always masc as fuck - from the gaudy sneakerhead-type sneakers to the white-rimmed douchebag shades. like im never gonna tell people not to hc eridan as trans or w/e, but the canon suggests that eridan actually prefers to present masc even when there's no pressure to do so, and that's important to his characterization (being a right-wing radicalized 4chan boy, which is an overwhelmingly masc archetype)

[button-cat]

hihi guys i almost finished all of my exams,,,just one more next week and i'll be FREE !!!!

anyways

have this for now- it was supposed to be something for a joke post but i kinda gave up on it and don't wanna finish it,,,

evil queer mfs

if someone somehow guesses what this was supposed to be i am gonna be shocked and um,,, bamboozled

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[little-red-fool]

Thinking about how Liston and Emmrich would work out, I feel like it could be quite funny because on the surface Liston seems like an absolute freak but in reality he’s into pretty normal stuff whereas to me Emmrich gives the first impression of someone who’s probably a bit shy about those things but he’s actually into some really bizarre stuff. Y’know.

[navxry]

Hi! Former reader from your writing blog, I just saw you had a main account here after you left. How did you develop your writing style?

Hiiiiii, as for that, I think that's. a bit of a lengthy answer so. uh. let me just put this on a 'read more' before you start wondering why its long hehe

I'm going to be realistic here and say my writing style isn't exactly something I can say that's 'developed'. After all, any signs of me actually writing for real (or, rather, for fun) started in my Undertale phase (2016 - 2018) and it was for an AU.

(Don't look it up, because it is bad. Gastertale I love you, but... 2016 - 2018 Navi didn't do you justice. I'm sorry.)

I think back then it was... Really rough around the edges. Overuse of caps, punctuations, things you'd see in a novice writer. Actually, I only wrote for it back then because I was so invested in the fic, and when the main author said they wanted help from a co-author, I jumped at the chance.

Back then... Writing was something I do for fun. Something to not take seriously. Something that I can simply drop because it's just words on a paper, or in this case, on a digital book.

But when I began to write for that book, people began to.. Love it. They were commenting, some yelling at my choices, others celebrating and giving me compliments for my writing. It made me feel warm, happy; it made me feel that, despite my writing style not being on par, people love it as is. Flawed as it may be, it had character, and I think that's what gets people to enjoy it so much.

It's genuinely something you can look back on and go, "this kid doesn't know how to write well, but they're enjoying it".

I think after that, I began to branch off and write for more books and fics. I actually started in Quotev (shocker, haha!), and one of the fics I starter were just co-authoring Undertale ones. "MINE" was one of them (a Chara x reader one-shot collection), and its funny looking back on it.

Then there was "This is my world", "Life in the Underground", "My World", "How...", "Puns and Laughs", (embarrassingly but funny on hindsight, don't laugh at 2018 Navi here) "Human! FNAF Boyfriend Scenarios" (2 million reads!! Let's go 2018 Navi!!), "Ocean Eyes", "It's Complicated", and finally, my recent works since 2021, "Deception of the Abyss" and "Poisonous Thorns".

I became a co-author and an author for majority of them (the exception being the boyfriend scenarios, I was an editor), but I remember loving to write. I remember fondly on how I'd look at what people are saying, how they're commenting, and what they have to think about each chapter. It wasn't much now, but back then... It was more than I can ask for.

Hell, it even pushed to greater heights because I took it to a new form: roleplaying. Even back in my Undertale phase, I was roleplaying with a few people, and I made friends that way. Sure, some weren't great (my ocs especially, they're hella broken), but it was fun. My fun. It was also how I met some of my long time friends too (hi, Fifi!)

But then... Life happens. Things change, and suddenly, I'm not the same as I used to be.

I remember checking on my old works and then going "huh... things changed. And my writing... doesn't feel the same."

I remember getting on Tumblr because of Food Fantasy (2019 I believe? Or was it 2020...), and being friends with a few people that, on hindsight, I shouldn't be associated with. I remember being involved in drama, in consuming other people's works, becoming the reader that would talk about them to the author and even down to reblogging some.

There were ups and downs, and yes, I still remember them. I remember how it made me enjoy so much of other people's content, and how it made them feel. I remember so fondly of seeing people so... Active.

That... Unfortunately changed when I left Tumblr.

I won't get into what made me leave the first time. It was just... A sudden change that I couldn't put to words. So much in my life happened, so much stress, it began to affect me and how I see myself. It began to affect how I see in writing, how I began to disassociate and pull away from it. Hell, it even made me dislike running ask blogs, because both of my passions couldn't bring me out of that stump.

For the first time, I felt.. Really dissatisfied. Like something I did just won't fix it.

So I left.

I took a break for a while, which helped me see things differently. It was still too much for me to handle back then, but it felt easier. And when I returned, I had done a few changes: ask blogs were put in either archives or hiatus/es, new ones began, old ones were discarded...

I even started running @oletus-manors-log back then because I was in a constant state of returning and leaving. I remember how I only started the blog because I thought, "hey, my writing changed and improve. I might as well do something worthwhile."

And... That's where I met a few of my friends. Yuu was one of them (hi, Yuu!), and it made me remember how it felt... Nice to have someone see them. Requests weren't a lot back there, but it was fine—it feels the same as it used to.

Though, during that time, things.. Changed.

I think my feelings with writing is the same as I felt back at my first rut. If anything, me leaving and returning made me slowly realize that there was one thing that changed.

User interactions... Were smaller than I remember.

I wasn't okay when I returned. I still feel that way, and even with that blog, that grew into something bigger.

In some days, I began to doubt myself, and my ability to even write. There were even moments that I felt that my ability isn't even on par with what I did in 2016 - 2018, where it was fueled by my own feelings, my passion, and what makes me me. It made me dislike myself because it feels like, little by little, I'm unlearning about myself.

I LITERALLY could not sit down and write in my drafts without thinking, "why do people bother to stick around anymore? what do they see in my works? what do they see that they enjoy, when I can't see it myself?"

I think those years were my best, and even if I was critical of my writing style, it wasn't bad. It was fun. It was something I enjoyed.

So… What happened? What made me dislike writing so much?

Truthfully... I don't know. I don't know what made me detest it.

But I think I have a few thoughts. An assumption or two, I guess. And I think its because I rely so heavily onto what others see in my works that it... Bled into what made me me. It bled into my life, my expectations, my own self-worth.

In my venture to get better, to return to the hobby I loved, I became my biggest critic, my worst nightmare, and the flame that snuffed my passion.

I know you used to read my works, but there were so much I put that many ignored. My old writing blog (sfw) for genshin was an example. I used to write for SFW (aka @dxy-drxxm), but it stopped because I noticed so little were seeing it.

I noticed that so little bothered to say something about how they liked my works. My style. It began to eat at me and make me think that what I did isn't enough. That my own drive isn't enough.

I tried it over and over with different characters. With different plotlines. With different AUs. Hell, in EBG hosted by a friend of mine, I had it based off of IdentityV, which I loved.

But... No one see it that way. No one bothered to tell me the things I wanted to hear.

So... I stopped writing.

I thought no one actually cared. I still do, unfortunately. It was how I also saw my recently archived writing blog, which was @yxstxrdrxxm-a. Don't get me wrong, I do not regret meeting my friends there. I don't regret meeting Brynn, Jessamine, Avalon, Harmony, Yuu, Fifi, Cal, Tae, and many more of my mutuals. I don't regret becoming a writer, because if I didn't, I'd never meet the wonderful people I know now.

But...

Engagement is... A slippery slope. One that can take you so deep to your darkest thoughts. Some that make you question if you're human. Some that make you wonder if you're a machine to others. Some that make you truly think, "do I deserve this fame? when no one tells me what I achieved?"

I still have those thoughts sometimes. I still think... I'm not. You know. Worthy of everything.

I think, if I put this in an MV, Beaver comes to mind. There's so much that makes it feel that I can relate to it. The shots, the lyrics... It made me feel that I was heard in that video.

It's stupid. I'm aware. But... It's the only thing that made me go "god, this is me."

I think, in that regard... I don't know how I feel with writing still. I don't know how I feel with my works. After leaving those blogs, after ditching them because I feel worthless, I'm at a standstill.

...

I'll be real with you, anon.

I don't know if I can rekindle my unbridled passion for writing anymore.

I don't know if people can still see the same passion that my younger self did. And I wish, for once, someone could.

The biggest irony is... I have experienced what's called an 'artist effect'. Don't know the term? Here's what it means:

Artist Effect Where an artist is only recognized once they are gone, usually by death.

... Do you know the saying, "An artist is only appreciated after he is dead"? If so, this is what it means.

When I left, I left tumblr. I left that space for a good while because I was at my lowest. I thought no one will recognize what I've done, and only my friends will. I coined that term because it feels right. It's something I experienced, simply because I was focusing on the wrong thing.

Fame is nothing to me now, though. I don't desire to be famous of my writing. Don't take what I say as though I'm chasing for attention from readers; that's not what I want you to take away from this.

I refuse to return to that thinking. After all, it's specifically that thought that ruined me.

Nowadays, I'm... At that standstill. At the fork in the road, so to say. I don't even know if I can return to loving myself, and my works. I've spilled my guts so much in them, it feels a part of me has been torn bit by bit. And if people won't appreciate them, then that is the truth of the matter.

Maybe I'm too much of a pessimist, but... Such is life. People only see writers as machines and content creators, but I saw each of my works as pieces of myself that I've spilled.

A starving artist fits me better, I guess. But maybe, someday... Things will change. And maybe I'll love it again, just like what 2016 - 2018 Navi did.

I don't think this answered your question, and for that, I apologize. I'm not... Used to being completely honest about myself. There's so many things I need to resolve, demons I have to fight, and I think this will never be over for me.

What is helping me little by little was my friends. They are the ones that keep my passion ignited, even for just a little longer. If I didn't meet the people that would tell me I'm more than what I do, that I shouldn't pursue the thing that'll ruin me, I wouldn't be here now.

So, I hope from this answer, you understand how I see things. Although my reasoning can be rather out there, I know some also feel the same as I do with theirs. And I hope that they feel validated, in some way.

Because chasing for something as fleeting as 'engagement' will ruin them, just like how it almost ruined me.

[brw]

Was gonna write a long ass post about this but honestly I think I've said everything that could be said but it is really insane to me still that Hank McCoy loved the X-Men enough to torture, kill, assault and betray anyone that needed torturing, killing, assaulting or betrayed, but he didn't love them half as much as he loved Simon Williams. Isn't it insane that Simon was the only man in the 5 years we've seen him descend to give him something resembling a conscience, to make him give up everything if it meant Simon would be safe. Isn't that fucking insane.

[ghost-bard]

I feel like every time i hear about solavellan its talking about like “oh when they reunite and solas and ooooo” or like. Something angsty like one of them dying or something.

Anyone elses lavellan wanna just kill him like straight up

And i dont mean this in a hating solas way (irl) but at least in my lavellans case they went through hell and back in inquisition, and finding out solas wants to tear down the veil, effectively destroying the world as they know it, was the final straw. As in they were barely keeping it together before, and this caused them to spiral. Like a mental break happened. And that manifested in a very uh. Violent and hunting down solas at all costs kinda way.

[fandaniel]

im at the age where tumblr drama simply does not interest me. i see two mutuals who have beef for a misunderstanding 4 years ago and go yeah so.

[tewwor]

one angel on my shoulder is whispering how i should take another day to not write and let my brain rest for better words tomorrow ….. another angel on my other shoulder is whispering how badly i suddenly want to write the smaller, more mundane things between characters — specifically my muse showing how they care for yours. whether it’s by cooking or ordering meal to share ( or just getting them something to eat ), or finding ways to get them to relax ( winding down after a long day can range from a good drink to a light massage to a comfort show to something spicer ).

idk idk yall i had a vision about my muses figuring out ways to get your muse(s) to take a break / breather or capture the times between big milestones where there’s a chance to make the humdrum of life a little more special

[valgeristik]

when u accidentally become collateral damage in a mother-child argument

I KNOWWW i know this isnt what the scene is meant to be bcs bioware would never be brave enough to go there but the first time i got it i was like.

Wow! it's probably a bug or something, but it's such a cool moment bcs it's so Casually Realistic.

Like, ive been there!

You go through your life just minding your own business and then you casually get Gendered and have to take a fucking Moment. And then you just have to nod and smile. Because you know it's not on purpose and you can't even blame someone for the Assumption and you will die if you're ever impolite to a stranger. So you just stand there like 😃

It's less about the misgendering and more about the "Oh. Right. I Am Perceived By People In a Very Specific Way. And I Just Have To Live With That."

Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List

E-sims donation

all that said. i think this game has spoiled me irreparably bcs the way they handled the Player-Character-Is-Trans thing is the best that I've experienced with this type of game. like. ever, i think.

like yea bg 3 gave u the option to be NB also but it never ever comes up outside of character creator. dav gives u Dialogue Options.... and i honestly didnt know i wanted that from a game before i saw the 'unlocks future dialogue options' thing pop up. dragon age the game that you ARE!!!!!!