your-feral-wildling

[drawbudd]

Look okay i just find it cool when people talk and post about their own interests and creations okay. Awe inspiring even if you squint really hard

[klxudykai]

all 26 of my drs

soo as my bio says I have 26 drs!! and today I will be talking about each of them

in all honesty I thought it was a bit of a stretch to shift to that many, but who cares? the universe is unlimited so if I wanna shift to 3, 26, or even 100 I should be allowed to (and so should you!!)

anywaysss lets get into it

Anime drs

MHA - this is literally my MAIN DR. its the first ever dr I thought of shifting to and one of my favorites. I can't wait to shift there omg

MHA (fantasy au) - this isn't one of my top favs but it is def a cool one that I would enjoy fs

AOT (modern college au) - this dr is gonna be so fun I just know it

Haikyuu - volleyball is one of my FAVORITE sports so I already know this is gonna be exciting (I also had a haikyuu obsession ever since 2019 quarantine-)

★ ★ ★

Fame drs

singer - I always wanted to be a famous singer so this made inner 9 year old me SCREAM. I live and breathe music. all kinds of it, too. my playlist will go from SZA to Bone Thugs n Harmony to Billie Ellish and then to Deftones real quick

youtuber - this is another career that 9 year old me wanted. I've always looked up to YouTubers so I knew I would have a trip shifting to where I was one too

street racer - okay Im gonna be so honest and tell y'all rn I don't know jack shit abt cars- all I know is that I wanna have a hot pink car and blast flo milli while dusting a bunch of men in races (hot girl shit I fear-)

90s r&b singer - I love the 90s. the music, the fashion, all of it. absolutely amazing. that's it

band dr - I would love to be the lead singer of a famous ass band. I haven't decided if I was gonna join an existing one or make my own yet but one of the options will be happening

★ ★ ★

TV shows/Movies

hogwarts - when I first got into shifting a LOT of people were shifting to Hogwarts and honestly I understand why. it looks so fun there man

alice in wonderland - this is one of my FAVORITE movies. I love the weirdness of it all and its just so creative and calming for me. (I intend on scripting I live in a cute little cottage on a hill with my two headed cow because I have a major obsession with cows)

diary of a wimpy kid - I got one name for you. and that name is rodrick mf heffley. judge me I do not care but that man is FINE (he probably smells tho but I intend on scripting he isn't cause who tf wants a smelly man??). i also like the idea of being in loded diper

twilight - I've had an obsession with vampires and werewolves (ESPECIALLY werewolves) since I was in 4th grade so this move series and dr is right up my alley (I'm team Jacob btw even tho he's hella childish)

the breakfast club - the first time I watched this movie I was like "I'm officially shifting there". I love coming of age movies especially older ones like this so I didn't hesitate to add it to my list

riverdale - this series was kinda interesting tbh. I heard it got really wacky after the 3rd season though but I guess I'll find that out when I rewatch it (or when I shift idk). SPEAKING OF RIVERDALE- I had two dreams about shifting there and it was so crazy. like the first one was when I was in the diner with the characters and I was looking for my s/o, but I woke up before I could find him. and then the second dream I don't remember but I had the sensation I kissed someone???? so I'm pretty sure I found him LMFAO-

spiderman (itsv-atsv) - absolutely NO words for this one. I've had an obsession with this one ever since it came out. and I almost screamed in the movie theater when the producers hit us with that "to be continued" bs. also hobie brown <33

descendents - I was into every single original Disney channel movie that was released and this was one of them. AND I could be the daughter of Tiana like??? sign me up fr

monster high - these are literally THE monster it girls. it would be a crime to not shift there

total drama - this was the first reality tv show I ever watched and I was so here for it. they got real creative with the drama too

victorious - I LOVE arts. acting, painting, music, dance, you name it. if I could go to a school like this in my cr I would've already been there (oh wait I technically can)

power rangers - SPECIFICALLY the 2017 film. I don't feel like we got a backstory on half of the characters and its so disappointing but oh MAN when my boy DACRE got on that screen I almost hollered. this movie served so hard and it deserved a sequel badly.

stranger things - this was another obsession of mine and I couldn't have it any other way. its gonna be terrifying but badass (like nancy wheeler when she had that damn shotgun)

mid90s - this was a decision I made last week because I had JUST watched the movie and it was my obsession for a little bit too. I experienced a little home sickness (more like a lot of homesickness because I was SAD SAD)

★ ★ ★

other drs I thought of shifting to

demon slayer - this seemed pretty fun, but I heard that later down the plot it got boring and sucked pretty bad so I wasn't sure

kpop - I'm not 100% a kpop fan but I LOVE krnb so I was just thinking of making music like that but its still in the works a bit

avatar - I thought it would be cool, but I wasn't in love with the idea like I thought id be. maybe if I shifted to the first avatar I'd like it but idk yet

farm life - like I mentioned earlier I really love cows and thought a farm would be cool, but I kinda fell out of love with the idea so this most likely won't go all the way through

anastasia - this is one of the drs I most likely will still be shifting to because I just love classic Disney movies (and Dimitri was fine..)

ready player one - in all honesty, I completely forgot I intended on shifting there but its a fun ass concept

pitch perfect - okay but this movie was funny as hell plus singing so why not?

tinkerbell - this entire series was my Roman empire. they were my FAV when I was little and still are

10 things I hate about you - early 2000 movies are my favorite so when I watched this, I wanted to shift there asap

★ ★ ★

okay and I think those are all my drs!! this might be a little over 26 too but oh well LMFAO-

i really enjoyed making this and I hope y'all enjoyed reading it <3

stay tuned for more drs because i am always thinking of new ones to go to!!

[teecupangel]

so ive been following this music series called milgram by deco*27 and the most recent song called Purge March is so farm era desmond coded its insane but i wanted your opinion on it bc im the best at keeping up with lore and stuff

purge march is about a little girl who grew up in a cult, this cult has these ideations they force on her like "thou shall follow thine destiny" and "thou shall deliver unto those thou believest in" and by cult standards she gets punished (severely) if she doesnt follow them.

one day she meets a cat who has his leg broken and decides to mend it, a cult member saw this and snitches to (i think) her parents, she then gets tazed bc she "changed the cat's destiny" while the cat is presumably unalived. this event snaps her and she goes on a rampage, killing who was probably her mother (the mv doesnt rly tell much bc it's purposefully cryptic)

so yeah im thinking of making an ac/milgram au but what do you think

(It was either the mother or the father, yeah, it’s meant to be cryptic XD)

Anyway, here’s the official Milgram youtube. I would have picked the actual playlist but the ones I saw weren’t updated to have Purge March.

For those just curious about Purge March, here’s the official MV (with English subtitles)

The Milgram series has the setup of ‘murderers’ that the main character must pronounce as guilty or innocent of their crime after listening to their songs. That’s pretty much the very brief gist of it.

Now, nonny gave a good summary of the crux of Purge March’s storyline so we’ll focus on a Desmond Purge March AU instead.

(warning, there will be… animal cruelty and child abuse in this one. Not descriptive but there nonetheless.)

For this one, we’ll remove all of the Templars versus Assassins + Isus stuff from the Farm.

If you still want to include them in the story, go for it, the Farm itself will be turned into an actual cult (instead of us just joking around that it’s a cult).

Perhaps the Farm was formed by radical Assassins who left the Brotherhood before the Great Purge, perhaps they were created by survivors of the Great Purge who lost themselves in grief and started to believe that salvation comes from following their destiny, no matter what it may be.

Of course, if you truly want to hammer in the AC plot, the Farm actually worships Juno (ala Will of the First Instruments) and the whole “thou shall follow thine destiny” is pushed into the conscience of every cult member all in an effort to ensure Desmond would accept his fate to die on December 21, 2012.

Hell, we can even push this into the entire cult knowing Desmond’s destiny is to die on December 21, 2012 to save the world. He has been groomed not as the messiah or the savior of mankind but as the sacrifice.

And Desmond hated it.

He hated everything.

The cult.

His life.

The world.

He was born and raised to believe that this world deserves to be saved because it was destiny.

The very word ‘destiny’ only makes him feel empty inside, a festering rotting darkness that threatened to consume him.

And then…

He found a cat with an injured leg.

White as fresh snow with eyes as gold as the necklace his mother would wear whenever his father would have one of his regular sermons.

And Desmond…

Desmond heard the poor cat mew and he couldn’t stop himself.

He ‘borrowed’ the first aid in their home and used it to disinfect and bandage the cat’s injury, even went and gave the cat his lunch because it was fine.

He can skip a meal.

And that was that.

Or so Desmond had thought.

He had done something good.

And it felt nice.

But he didn’t realize…

Because he was important to the cult…

He was being watched.

Always being watched.

And when his father and mother got home, they immediately grabbed the first aid box and asked him why there were bandages missing.

They shouldn’t have known.

He already had his excuse ready, cutting himself with the kitchen knife and…

But they didn’t believe him.

They knew.

They knew…

Someone told them.

And then…

His father showed him the bandage he had put on the cat.

Too bloodied for it to be from the cat’s leg injury.

And Desmond…

Desmond couldn’t even cry.

All he could was stare at the bandages as his father dragged him into the prayer room.

No.

The repentance room.

.

His entire body felt like it was on fire that night.

His hands stung. His back throbbed. His legs trembled.

He could not sleep.

Until he thought…

Who decides our destiny?

Why are they so sure that this is their destiny?

Because it had already happened?

Was the main point to simply not do anything once something bad has happened?

Then…

It will be destiny if something bad happens…

Right?

The following days, Desmond prepares and helps dutifully for the sermon this Sunday.

He does everything ordered of him, making his parents proud.

He receives good words for his actions, even gets headpats and smiles.

The emptiness in Desmond’s heart was filled.

Overflowing…

… with rot.

The sermon always started at the crack of dawn.

At the end of it, every adult in their ‘congregation’ would drink wine said to have been blessed.

Cheap wine bought in the local grocery.

They all drank.

And they all fell on their knees, coughing and vomiting.

The doors and windows were all locked because they ‘must be closed off from the filthy world’.

They cannot escape even if they wanted to.

Desmond grabs the holy sword, a family heirloom from his mother’s family.

It was light.

And sharp.

Desmond plunged it on his father’s stomach and pulled it just as quickly.

Not to kill him but to make sure he stays where he was.

Desmond grabbed the keys from his father then and…

He stood in front of the nearest adult that was neither his father nor his mother.

He remembered seeing him sometimes…

Did he follow Desmond that day?

No?

It doesn’t matter.

Desmond raised the sword…

And swung it down.

The head rolled…

The body slummed…

Blood pooled under him.

Desmond continued.

And the room filled with screams…

[samismasawaysblog]

Sam! *Falls down the window I just climbed*. I dunno if you're doing the ask the artist game but I'm gonna send you some cus I am nosy and want to know 👀😈

1. 6. 11. 13. 18. 21 AND 25! (that's a lot of questions, my bad)

Love you Sam my beloved! 🫂🫂💋💋

*Helps you get up and dusts your clothes* Be carefull next time my beloved Many!! Dont want you to hurt yourself now tut tut

1- Show your most recent wip

I am so bad at finishing a wip so i have multiple and here they are! ( I also have an animatic wip but like aughhh)

6-Which artists inspire you right now?

My biggest inspiration rn is @toomanywordsnllines !

He is amazing at art and I love their artsyle so much!! Her art style is just so huggable and his painting/rendring has me on a choke hold!! Thay just give me so many ideas that my brain explodes!!

Another one of my all time inspiration is Rensaven! I love their style sooo much!! The simplity has me on a chokehold also THEIR ANIMATIONS!? MY HEART AND LIKE AAAAAAA I WANNA BE LIKE THEM FRFR CRYING!! here is the link to their youtube my fave animation from them is Level of Concern one bc like twenty one pilots and and animation? together? my heart melted fr. I alos love the way they use the colors their pallates are always goes so well together

Newest addition to my inspiration is Alberto Mielgo! Especially his Spiderverse art work is spectacular im gonna cry bc his usage of colors like look at this!!! Overall all the spiderverse is my inspiration frfr

I want to also add Sad-ist their animations and the way they use the camera movements on their animation... im crying by thinking about it! The way they tell the story with the animations are showstopping here is a link to their youtube!

ALSO ALSO

THEIR DRAWINGS ARE SPECTACULAR I LOVE THEIR LINEWEIGTHS AND AND THE COLORS LOOK SO SOFT AND THEIR FOUND FAMILY DRAWINGS (especially five and ben from umbrella academy) HAS MY HEARTT

I wanted to add so many other but itll get tooo long so honorable mentions time! (very honorable mentions to my friends anna and eli as well)

rabbits.foots sogicereal Camram Bipp

Jasperlore Silvipeppers devinellekurtz

achilleanspear Unsatisfiedghost NoriMori

Xela Kurzgesagt liz milkytrickster

natashaallegri mechro dreamy Shiba rusticfurnice

okay i think i should stop here or all make the entire thing about these artists 😭😭

11-Favaorite comment you've ever recived on your work

Uhmmm I dont know i dont really get specific comments bahsjmdmsk i think it was someone commenting on one of my sketchbook pages that they liked how I used one color only with a black pen :')

13-Show your favorite drawing from last year

I couldnt choose one 😭😭 (left to right my friends oc, human mordecai, highschool!au of my sona for discord gc)

18-Do you have any larger projects you'd like to pursue? Like comics, shortfilm, a series ect?

YES! One day i would love to make animation series like a cartoon series? or just some calming and relatable mini animation series like bee and the puppycat! I would also love to work on a idk animation movie maybe? I would really love to work in that industry but im not sure if i can... I'm scared that ill get bored of it but yeah!

21-Weirdest thing you've ever drawn?

Believe it or not nothing came to my mind at first exept for few missing limbs and general angst stuff so i asked one of my beloved friend and this was her answers

1- Twink boy Mater from cars the movie

2- Kirby josh dun the drummer of twenty one pilots

3- Face for tits tits for face oc?

so yeah i gues other then gorey stuff these ones the weird ones....side eyeing myself rn

25-Based on your recent referance searches, what would the FBI assume about you?

I'm definitly on the list for sure. They assume that i would be a threat to sociaty and that ill probably set something on fire. They also think that I am a serial killer that has lots of medical knowladge as well....

Thank you for your questions and im sorry it took me so long to answer it 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️

[thethousandyearwitch]

The Show Must Go On! Chapter 4

- A Youtuber AU you didn’t want and didn’t need -

Hisoka Morrow, italian Makeup Youtuber, enjoys his life in the comfort and occasional drama of his profession. But nothing brings more drama into his life than the eldest son of the Zoldyck fashion magazine empire.

Meanwhile, aspiring australian Twitch Streamer Gon Freecs forms a special bond to a Speedrunner commonly going by "Kil".

Chapter 4 “Shifting Sand Land” out now!

AO3 Link

Illumi had always feared that one day he might inherit any of his mother's illnesses. It wasn't out of the question, and he considered himself lucky that no ailment had reared its head so far into his life.

"Do I look as good as how I feel, darling?"

Until now.

Suddenly it felt like years of sickness had caught up with him, spun his head around and made his stomach curl.

It was a coincidence that this sickness would appear the second he laid eyes on Hisoka, wearing the suit that was fitted just for him.

It was a coincidence that he looked like all those marble statues in museums, sculpted in the image of gods and lovers.

It was a coincidence that this sickness could be swallowed and repressed like any measly feeling he had ever encountered.

"I told you to wear a shirt, maggot."

And the symptoms disappeared.

But the disease didn't.

 ----------------------------------------------------

Gon: Killua?

It had been quite a while since Killua had responded to any of Gons messages. Well, it had been about 2 hours. But compared to their normal pace of slinging messages at each other any passing minute, this felt like an eternity to the young boy.  He wondered if he had done anything to upset his friend, though their last conversation was just usual banter about breakfast, snacks, and the new battle pass.

He fidgeted in his seat a bit more, the classwork Aunt Mito had supplied him with almost entirely forgotten. The now broken routine made his bones itch, but the attempt of any distraction just made him fear he'd miss when Killua would finally come back.

So, he waited.

He even started half-heartedly filling out the math quiz that had been taunting him from the corner of the desk, though he always glanced back at the computer screen.

Question number 27: (X-3)²-25= 0

Ping

Gon wasn't sure what to do first; Be thankful that finally Killua replied or be thankful that he found an escape from this hell called math.

Kil: Yo.

GON: Hey!!! Are you okay? :O

Kil: Yeah, whats up?

He was obviously not okay. But Gon knew that pressing the issue wouldn’t make things better, though if he pretended like everything was alright would just be an issue bottled up.

GON: Do you wanna play some Fortnite Duos maybe? We can try grinding for the new tiger costume you like :D

Kil: cant

Kil: my mom took my fucking PC away in attempt to become mother of the year

GON: :( im sorry!! But im sure she’ll give it back soon, right?

Kil: fat chance, I probably have to wait till my brother comes back from his stupid trip

Gon tilted his head in thought. This has probably been the longest Killua had ever talked about his family with him. Up to this point it had only been passing remarks about siblings whose actions and personalities melted into each other due to lack of discernible unique traits, and that his family was rich.

GON: How long is that going to be?

GON: Maybe your mom will calm down and change her mind <:(

Kil: lmao, maybe if id actually study now shed be satisfied enough

Kil: but theres no way in hell im going to give her what she wants

Kil: ESPECIALLY NOW

GON: So whatre you going to do??

Kil: idk

Kil: talk to you and think about how to set fire to this place?

 The young boy smiled, though for some reason he could feel a knot tighten in his chest.

 GON: How about only talking to me for now?

 And they talked. For a couple of hours, they talked about Gons new streaming schedule, about how he wanted to have one dedicated day in the week solely for collaborations. They talked about a new exploit for Super Mario Sunshine that could potentially scrap 10 seconds off of the current World record if executed correctly. They talked about how Leorios medical-student VLOG channel had been trending again after he made a hypocritical video about the damages of energy drinks.

Kil: he could have at least cleaned the infamous pyramid out of frame…

GON: Haha he said that in hindsight too

GON: But I think it was his boyfriend who finally made him clean it up -v-“

Kil: must be nice to have someone living with you who gives a shit

Kil: I think at this point the housekeeper hasn’t even touched the minefield that’s my brothers room in months

GON: It can’t be that bad :”D

Kil: you bet?

Kil: what do you think, how much chip dust is needed for an anime figure to come to life?

The mental image of Killuas home slowly shifted in Gons mind again. A large mansion, bedrooms as big as some apartments, with individual housekeepers for everyone. And one room dedicated to imitating a postapocalyptic anime merch shop.

And somewhere in that large mansion, is a room probably equipped with a messy bed, a (now empty) desk and gaming chair, maybe some shelves with books and games. In the middle of it a slightly blurry figure, maybe a bit shorter than Gon, pale skin and messy hair and piercing bright eyes.

He had seen pictures of Killua, a handful of selfies taken at his desk, one picture his sister (who he’d mention the least from his mysterious family) had taken of him in front of a rose bush. And no matter how dimly lit the picture would be, or out of focus, or taken from a distance; His eyes were always the first thing Gon would focus on. At first, he was convinced that he was using a filter, there’s no way someone in real life would have eyes like that.

But Killua did. Killua hid electricity behind those eyes, dangerous and yet enticing, beaming with a life energy that can barely be contained. Gon had heard poems and songs about blue eyes, though none of them ever came close to describing eyes like these. Or the feeling Gon would get from looking at them, tingling in his fingertips, making him smile and giggle and stomp his feet. Kind of like getting a victory royale.

Gon has other friends besides Killua. But none ever made him feel the same way when they talked. He craved no one’s presence as much as he craved Killuas. And something inside him felt the constant urge to tell Killua that, to tell him how much he meant to him, what’s so amazing about him, how he didn’t want this friendship to end.

But that’s just not something friends would tell each other unprompted, and it’s not something that could easily told to Killua, who danced around the word “friends” as if it were a dangerous animal. So, he didn’t say anything.

 Kil: gon?

Kil: did you fall asleep?

GON: No haha, I was just thinking about how huge your house must be!!

Kil: yeah its huge and ugly, sometimes way too loud, sometimes really fucking quiet

Kil: im sure it must be nicer in your home

GON: I mean, it is pretty nice, but its also a little lonely I think

GON: All my friends live closer to the city, so usually no one is around to just come outside and hang out :^T

Kil: if I could id fly over right now and you could show me all the gross spiders that rule your continent with 8 iron fists

GON: They aren’t gross!! Spiders are really fun once you get to know them :^D

GON: And you know, you’d always be welcome here, Aunt Mito would be thrilled to meet you ^^

And Gon meant it. Though Killua never let too much slip of his family life and surroundings, Gon could tell it was trouble, and he deeply wished he could give Killua even just a one-day break from whatever went down in that mansion.

Kil: since we are both home schooled, we wouldnt even need to wait for summer break or anything

GON: Right :^D And its not like either of us are big on studying either ^^”

Gon glanced briefly at the disregarded Math work and shuddered.

Kil: you mean it, right?

Kil: if I were to text you some time that im at an airport and im coming over, you wouldnt let me be stranded somewhere on your prison continent, right?

GON: Of course not!!!

GON: … but I’d prefer it if you give a heads up so I can clean my room :^D

Kil: thanks gon, I appreciate it

Kil: i appreciate you

Gon felt his heartrate skyrocket. Of course he’d let Killua stay, even if he rang at his door without any prior notice. Because even if it goes unsaid, Killua was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. And he’d do anything to keep him safe, or to just give him one minute that he doesn’t have to think about his family. He wanted to see those blue eyes reflect the Australian sun, free of worry and tension.

GON: I appreciate you, too

[sparklydreamies]

Best Shot ~Ch 3

Group: Stray Kids

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 7900+

Summary: Han Jisung, certified quiet boy, has never really understood the hype about love and romance. That is until he has to step out of his comfort zone and onto the basketball court to impress that one person he can’t stop thinking about.

Main themes: highschool!AU, basketball!AU, internalized homophobia, friends-to-lovers

a/n: So much for this fic just being skz, I’m now making it skz featuring the whole JYP family lmao,, I’m so happy about this chapter, the story is finally kicking off ;) Y’all can expect a lot of internalized homophobia because who doesn’t experience that... anyways, thank you guys for taking the time to read this, I’m sorry it took so long, but I am very proud of this chapter!! :))

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 3

Jisung often found it a little bit difficult to fall asleep, but for some reason, it was getting harder and harder. Countless nights that he should have spent in deep sleep were spent scrolling through Twitter and Youtube, simply because it was so hard for Jisung to find a way to shut his brain off. He didn’t know why he found his brain racing during the nighttime. He tried giving up the coffee that he normally drinks in the morning, but all that did was make him doze off during class. 

Not being able to fall asleep every single night causes a certain type of hopeless frustration in someone. Jisung felt himself getting more and more irritated with every passing day of not sleeping nearly enough for a teenage boy. 

Jisung had dozed off during his classes multiple times within the week that he couldn’t fall asleep. He often would find his eyelids getting heavier during important lectures and lessons. He couldn’t help it. 

Jisung’s class was given biology work to complete on their own one day, however Jisung found himself blacking out for seconds at a time. He kept telling himself in his head to wake up, slap yourself, open your eyes, do your work, but it was to no avail. He just kept drifting, and drifting, and drifting...

“Jisung?” Jisung snapped his head upright to the sound of his teacher, Mr. Kim’s voice. “Is everything alright?”

Jisung rubbed his eyes a little bit before straightening himself up in his chair. “Yeah, of course it is,” he said, picking up his pencil, “why?”

“Well,” Mr Kim started, “I’ve been noticing that you’ve been sort of... distant these past few days, I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” 

Jisung nodded his head, “yeah I’m okay, I’ve just been having a bit of trouble sleeping is all,” 

Mr. Kim nodded his head. Jisung figured he understood that since he teaches all sorts of students in higher grades and levels. Jisung thought that almost none of them have good sleeping schedules. 

“Jisung, why don’t you take the rest of the class period to just lay down in the nurse’s office?” Mr. Kim suggested, and judging by the fact that the man was completely blurry to him, Jisung figured it was a half decent idea. That was one of the things Jisung loved about Mr. Kim. One could tell that he really cared about the students that sat in his classroom. Not like most teachers that would just scold Jisung for not sleeping when he should.

So, that is how he ended up on his way down to the school nurse’s office, dragging himself down the slightly dingy and empty hallways of his school. 

The nurse, Mrs. Lee was a nice lady. Jisung had only seen her once before, and that was when he fainted after doing suicides in gym class during his freshman year. 

Mrs. Lee was kind enough to let Jisung rest for a minute on the cot that was in the side room of her office. It was lumpy and uncomfortable, but since Jisung was practically turning into a nocturnal animal, he found it was like sleeping on a cloud. 

Jisung dozed off to the sound of Mrs. Lee scratching something down on her notepad and making quiet phone calls. 

He was woken up about half an hour later by the bell, indicating that it was lunch hour. He had half a mind to stay there and sleep some more since he was so comfortable, but he knew that Felix and Seungmin would be waiting for him. So, with heavy limbs, Jisung rose from the bed, thanked Mrs. Kim, and made his way into the crowded hallways towards his locker. 

“Jisung!” Jisung heard his name being shouted from behind him, and when he turned around, he was greeted with the bright, smiling face of Hwang Hyunjin. Jisung waited for Hyunjin to catch up to him before he continued walking to his locker. “Hey, what’s going on?” 

Jisung shrugged and chuckled a bit at him. “Nothing really, how about you?” 

“Same,” Hyunjin said. The two boys turned down the hallway where Jisung’s locker was. “You look rough today,” he said.

Jisung scoffed at him, “I look rough everyday,” he countered, giving a small giggle.

Hyunjin shoved Jisung a little bit, “you’re not supposed to agree with me,” they arrived at Jisung’s locker, and he began typing in the code to unlock it.

“Hyunjin, you look rough everyday, I just wanted to fit in with you,” Jisung mocked.

“That’s better,” the boys laughed at each other’s childish ways. Jisung thought about how it seemed like they never even had a falling out. “By the way Jisung,” Hyunjin continued, “my mom was really happy when I told her we started talking again,”

Jisung cooed at him, “you talk about me to your mom? That’s so cute,” he teased. 

“Hey, just be glad I didn’t tell her why we started talking again,” he warned. Jisung put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. Jisung really didn’t want the other boy’s mother to know that he had to get driven home from a party, blackout drunk. “Anyways, I wanted to talk to you because she wanted me to invite you guys over for dinner tonight. Are you free?” Hyunjin asked. 

“I mean my dad’s working, but yeah I think we’re free,” Jisung answered. Hyunjin gave him a smile. Jisung had missed Hyunjin’s smile. 

“Great!” he said, clapping his hands together, “I’ll see you guys at eight?” Jisung nodded his head. 

Just then, Jisung heard somebody calling Hyunjin’s name. Jisung looked over to see it was Bang Chan and Seo Changbin. They were both wearing the same red varsity jackets that Hyunjin was also wearing. 

“Hyunjin, you coming?” they called, and Hyunjin yelled a yes back to them. 

“Do you want to come get some lunch with us?” Hyunjin offered, pointing over to where his friends were standing. 

Jisung shook his head, “nah, Felix and Seungmin are probably wondering where I am,” Hyunjin nodded in understanding, “thanks though, maybe another time,” 

“Sure,” Hyunjin agreed, walking backwards towards his friends, “see you tonight!” 

Jisung gave him a little wave of his own. Not only were Felix and Seungmin waiting for him, but Jisung also was hesitant to go because he felt very awkward around most of the basketball team. To him, it was like social class distance. Of course he didn’t feel weird with Hyunjin or Minho now, but the thought of being an outcast in a social situation with boys like Chan, Changbin, Jeongin or any of the other members of the team made him feel nauseous. 

Jisung made his way to the table in the cafeteria where he, Felix and Seungmin always sat. He could see from a distance that the two boys were already there, and obviously in deep conversation. 

When Jisung got into earshot, he heard Seungmin say “Bullshit, Felix,”

“Dude no, I’m being serious!” Felix argued, leaning so far over the table that his chest was close to touching the questionably clean surface. 

“What’s happening?” Jisung asked as he sat down next to Seungmin. 

“Felix apparently got a date with Kim Dahyun,” Seungmin said, shrugging. “I’m calling bullshit,”

“It’s not bullshit!” Felix groaned, “okay so Jisung, picture this,” Felix started, “we’re in first period, right? History. Teacher pairs kids up for a critical thinking activity, and who am I paired with? Oh yeah, Kim Dahyun,” Felix said, emphasizing her name and staring intensely at Seungmin who is trying hard to keep a straight face. 

“So we’re working hard, right? And close to the end of class I tell her that I know this really nice ice cream parlor that’s run by my cousin, and I ask her if she wanted to go with me sometime, and she actually fucking says yes,” he finishes, hitting Seungmin in the side of the arm.

“Felix, Dahyun is a pretty, smart, funny girl, why the hell would she want to go out with you?” Seungmin argued, breaking into a smile closer to the end of the sentence. 

“Because I’m fucking whimsical, that’s why.” Felix answered. 

“If there’s anything I know, it’s that Felix is whimsical as hell,” Jisung agreed. Felix slammed his hand down on the table. 

“See?” he asked Seungmin. 

“Alright fine,” Seungmin gave up, “I guess I just don’t like the fact that Felix got an actual human girl to go out with him before I did, and he didn’t even have to use force,” Jisung laughed at him. Seungmin let out a yelp, “Felix stop goddamn kicking me!” he groaned, lowering himself to rub at his shin. 

“Anyways, Dahyun also told me something very interesting,” Felix said, wiggling his eyebrows at Jisung. 

Jisung waited a beat of awkward eyebrow dancing before asking “what is it, Felix?”

“She told me that her friend, Im Nayeon, got a little bit friendly with one of my good friends, Han Jisung,” he teased. Jisung felt himself blush at the comment. “Oh my god, you’re all red! How come you didn’t tell us?” Felix whined.

Seungmin turned himself a full ninety degrees and faced Jisung. “What the hell, you made out with Im Nayeon? I had a class with her last year!” he said, hitting Jisung in the chest. 

Jisung felt flustered at all of the commotion about this. He never even thought about telling them he kissed Nayeon, he was more focused on the whole situation with Minho and Hyunjin. 

“I didn’t know it was that big of a deal,” Jisung said, trying to shield himself away from Seungmin’s fists. 

“Not that big of a deal?” Felix accused. 

Jisung found it so confusing that Felix and Seungmin were this worked up about it. Jisung hadn’t even thought about the kiss since it happened. Maybe he was just too distracted to let it sink in that he made out with a girl. 

“I’m so disappointed in you,” Seungmin laughed at him. Jisung rolled his eyes. 

The bell to end lunch rang throughout the school, and the boys began to pack their things up. 

“We are not done talking about this,” Felix warned, wagging a small finger at Jisung. 

Jisung sighed. He knew they weren’t.

----

That night, Jisung told his family about what happened with Hyunjin and how they were invited for dinner. Jisung’s mom was very happy that Jisung made up with Hyunjin. She said she was happy that he was being more social, but Jisung knew she was just happy to have a charming and handsome boy like Hyunjin back in her life to fawn over. 

Chaeryeong on the other hand stared at Jisung dumbfounded for a second before racing up the stairs to get herself ready. 

“You know that it’s just casual, right?” Jisung yelled after her. 

She answered back a quick “doesn’t matter!” before closing her door on him. 

Jisung decided to shower and get changed before going over to Hyunjin’s place. He wanted to make a good impression on Hyunjin’s family again, since they haven’t really had a conversation together since Jisung and Hyunjin were freshmen. 

When 8:00 came, Jisung called out to his family members that it was time to leave. The walk over to Hyunjin’s house was filled with Jisung’s mom talking about how nice it would be to see Hyunjin again, and how she’d seen him around the town and he looked even more handsome than she remembered. Chaeryeong was agreeing with everything his mother said, especially with the part about Hyunjin being handsome. 

Hyunjin’s parents were just as welcoming as Jisung remembered them to be. Jisung had always thought of the Hwangs as his second family, and once he arrived, he felt the same level of comfort that he had always experienced when he was a kid. 

Before dinner, Hyunjin led Jisung and Chaeryeong into the living room while their parents talked and drank wine in the kitchen. Much like with Hyunjin’s car, Jisung could easily tell the Hwang family’s wealth from the way they decorate their house. The living room was spacious, with a large TV and a very modern design. Jisung enjoyed being over at the Hwangs. 

“So Chaeryeong, how’s your first year of high school?” Hyunjin asked once they got settled, and Chaeryeong gave him a massive smile. 

“Oh, it’s great,” she said, “I’m really happy that you two made up, I missed coming over here,” Chaeryeong said, and Hyunjin rubbed his neck awkwardly, looking at Jisung.

“Actually Chaeryeong, it’s not that we had a fight or anything, we technically didn’t make up...” Hyunjin trailed off, looking to Jisung for help explaining the situation. 

“Yeah, it was more like we just sort of drifted apart,” Jisung supplied. Chaeryeong nodded her head in understanding. 

“Do you guys want to go outside?” Hyunjin offered, changing the subject, “it’s boring in here,” 

Jisung and Chaeryeong agreed to going outside. The house was stuffy and warm, and it was such a nice night out anyways. 

When they got out into the backyard, Chaeryeong ran over to where she saw Hyunjin’s basketball and basketball hoop. She excitedly picked up the ball. “Hyunjin, you’re so good at basketball,” she complimented. Jisung rolled his eyes at her. “Can you teach me to shoot?” she asked, and Hyunjin smiled and agreed. 

She threw him the ball and he dribbled it on the cement of his backyard three times before raising it, bending his knees and shooting the ball straight into the hoop. Chaeryeong clapped for him. 

“You see, it’s all about balance and aim,” he said, chasing after the ball to show Chaeryeong. “Try this,” he said, and gave her the ball. He explained to her how she should stand, and how she should hold the ball. 

Jisung thought it looked like a scene out of a drama. If he was right, this would be the moment they would lock eyes and fall in love. However, in real life, the boy would let go of her hands and let her try and shoot, which Hyunjin did.

Chaeryeong released the ball, and it flew through the air, hitting the backboard of the net. It bounced back down to the ground and over to where Hyunjin was standing.

“That was really good!” He praised, “you have good aim, you just need to work on your form. There’s a certain technique that you learn over time that helps the ball get into the net instead of just hitting the backboard”.

Chaeryoung agreed with him, and tried again, this time hitting the rim of the net. She was closer this time, but still unsuccessful. 

“Jisung, why don’t you try?” Hyunjin offered, passing the ball to Jisung. 

Jisung took the ball, but was sort of hesitant to try. Jisung was not necessarily a sporty kid, and he knew he would look stupid if he didn’t even hit the backboard. 

“Come on, try it,” Hyunjin coaxed, and Jisung finally agreed to try. “You heard what I told Chaeryeong, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Jisung answered, and Hyunjin told him how to stand properly. 

“Now for your hands,” Hyunjin moved Jisung’s hands so that one was supporting behind and one was supporting the side of the ball. “Perfect, that looks really good, Jisung” 

Hyunjin backed away from Jisung enough to give the boy room to shoot the ball. Jisung concentrated on watching the net, bent his knees, and jumped while releasing the ball like he saw Hyunjin do earlier. 

The ball floated through the air, hit the side of the rim, and bounced into the net. 

“You got it!” Hyunjin praised, patting Jisung in the back with the stupidest grin on his face. Jisung was also smiling. He may not be good at sports usually, but it was nice to feel like he was sometimes. 

“How the hell did Jisung do better than me?” Chaeryeong teased, jogging to go grab the ball from where it fell. 

“Hey you shoot like that, you might as well join the team,” Hyunjin joked, shaking Jisung’s shoulders. 

“Kids, dinner’s on the table!” Jisung heard Hyunjin’s mother yell from the window. Hyunjin yelled back a confirmation, and they began to head inside.

“You know Jisung,” Hyunjin started, “I’m not actually joking about you joining the team,”

Jisung choked on air. “You think that I could join the basketball team?” Jisung laughed at him. “Did you hit your head?”.

How on earth could Jisung play basketball? That shot was obviously beginners luck, he had no actual skill, he barely knew how to play the game.

“I’m serious! Dowoon is out for the rest of the season because he broke his leg, so there’s an open spot,” Hyunjin explained.

“Jesus, a guy from your team is out because he’s injured, and you think that would make me want to join?” Jisung said, disbelievingly. 

“It was an unrelated injury,” Jisung rolled his eyes, “I’m not kidding, it’s too late to have tryouts, and we need numbers to win the championship this year,” 

“Hyunjin, you realize I don’t know anything about basketball?” Jisung leaned against the side of the house and crossed his arms over his chest. “Besides, why do you want me instead of somebody else at school that might actually know how to dribble a ball properly?”

Hyunjin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, you don’t have to, but I want to be able to spend more time with you now that we’re friends again,” he said, “I can help you- sort of train you if you want, and I already know Minho’s going to like having you on the team,”

Jisung thought about it. For some reason, Jisung wanted to be closer to Minho. He wanted to be Minho’s friend. He also agreed with Hyunjin; he wanted to do more things together. Basketball didn’t seem like that difficult of a sport, you just had to get the ball into the net, how hard could it be? 

“Plus,” Hyunjin continued after a beat, “you don’t even really have to play that much, we really just need another body on our bench,”

Jisung couldn’t believe he was considering playing basketball. He saw the way Hyunjin’s eyes lit up when he was talking about the two of them on the team together. Jisung could see that he was happy. 

“Oh damnit,” Jisung sighed at Hyunjin, “I’ll consider it,” 

“Really?” Hyunjin asked. Jisung saw that his eyes were sparkly and bright. Jisung thought it almost gave Hyunjin an innocent glow. The positivity radiating off of Hyunjin made Jisung smile. 

“Yeah,” he admitted, “Now let’s go eat, I’m hungry,”

----

That night was the first time in a week that Jisung was able to sleep for more than two hours. 

Jisung didn’t know what changed, or why he suddenly was able to shut his brain off, but he was thankful he could. He figured that with Hyunjin trying to get him to join the basketball team it would be harder to sleep, but if anything, that night was the deepest he’s slept in weeks. Maybe it was the fact that Jisung’s brain wanted to fuck him up all week, only to give him the proper rest that he needs on the Friday night, when he knows he won’t be doing anything important on the Saturday.

Jisung knew what Felix and Seungmin would say if he asked them. They would want him to join the team. Not for the thrill of playing basketball, but for the popularity and the girls. All of them knew that the boys on the basketball team could get whatever girl they wanted, but Jisung didn’t want that sort of power. 

He knew what Chaeryeong would say. She would want him to join the team so that she could be known as the girl who’s brother is on the varsity boys basketball team.

He also knew that his mother would be against it. She knows what those basketball boys do. She still vividly remembers her son coming home at three in the morning, blackout drunk. She wouldn’t want that type of lifestyle to determine her son’s future. 

Oddly enough, the fact that his mom would want him not to is what makes Jisung want to join the team the most.

And of course, he knew what joining the team would mean to Hyunjin. Quite frankly, Jisung was touched that Hyunjin would want to spend more time with him so much that he would take it upon himself to teach Jisung how to play an entire sport. Not only just to teach him, but to make him good enough that their team has a chance at winning the championship again, even if he only played a few times all season.

Jisung knew how much this championship meant to Minho, thanks to their conversation the week prior. Jisung smiled while he thought back to that day. He liked the feeling of talking to Minho. He was kind, and he was sweet, and Jisung could tell that he wasn’t the same person that people believed through their little stereotypes. 

It sounded really weird and strange to Jisung, but all he wanted to do was to get closer to Minho. 

Jisung knew that there was no harm in at least trying to fit in with the team. Right?

----

Jisung was torn. On one hand, he didn’t know a single thing about basketball, and he was so afraid to make a fool out of himself and the team if he joined. But on the other hand, he wanted the opportunity to spend more time with Hyunjin and Minho. It was a dilemma. 

The last thing Jisung wanted was to take his focus away from studying. Jisung had always lived by the idea that nothing was more important than school. He had wanted to do a lot of things over the years, but he had never really had the motivation to try. He didn’t want to go through his life without experiencing things, because he was deathly afraid of waking up in ten years to realize that his life had no value. Maybe basketball could help with that. 

Jisung had always been told that the friendships, experiences and memories that were essential to a teenage life could be created by putting yourself out there, taking risks, getting involved and trying new things, but he had never bothered. Maybe he was always just satisfied with his friendships with Felix and Seungmin that he didn’t feel the need to try new things. 

Jisung thought about why he was so hung up on it. Part of him wondered if it was because he was worried that he was missing out on the amazing teenage life that he had always expected growing up. Thinking about it, most of the cheesy high school movies he used to watch glorified the athletes and social butterflies, and called the people that don’t have a lot of friends and don’t belong to clubs the “social outcasts”. 

Minho was a social butterfly. He had girls lined up down the block for him. He never went a weekend without doing something fun. Even though he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why, Jisung wanted to be his friend. He wanted to make Minho laugh. Minho was such a desirable friend. 

Jisung thought that Minho was mysterious. Like there were layers to him that nobody could understand. The image that Jisung got about Minho a few weeks ago was so different from the image he got after the party, and then again after they had that conversation after school. Jisung wanted to tear down those fake images he gets about Minho. He wanted Minho to trust him. 

Jisung snapped out of those thoughts. He still had a dilemma. Should he join the basketball team? 

Life is full of risks and opportunities that you sometimes just have to take. 

Jisung sent Hyunjin a text. 

Me: If the offer is still up, I think I’d like to join the team

Me: THAT IS, if you’ll be willing to coach me :))

----

Of course, Hyunjin was ecstatic that Jisung agreed to join the team. The boys agreed to meet up every Tuesday and Saturday, which staggered nicely with the team’s official practices. 

When Jisung told Felix and Seungmin during lunch on the following Monday, they were Hyunjin’s ecstatic times one thousand. 

“You joined the basketball team?” Felix shouted in the middle of the cafeteria, causing a number of heads to turn in confusion. Jisung hid his face in his hands. 

“Yes,” was his small response, “but I’m not really going to be playing that much, so don’t get too excited,” 

Felix scoffed at him. He was grinning from ear to ear, beaming with the new found possibilities of what having a friend on the basketball team could be. “I don’t care if you play one game all season, you are going to be on the basketball team!”

Seungmin pinched Jisung in the arm. “Maybe once you get that nice ass varsity jacket, you can properly ask out Nayeon,” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously at Jisung. 

The latter choked on his lunch, “why do you assume I want to ask out Nayeon?” he asked.

Felix gave Jisung a look that was basically asking if he was the dumbest person ever, “because you sucked her face and last time I checked, you don’t have a girlfriend,” 

“That’s because I don’t want a girlfriend,” Jisung countered.

“That’s because you can’t get a girlfriend,” Seungmin teased, laughing and giving Felix a high five. Jisung just rolled his eyes. 

If there’s anything Jisung knew, it was that he could get a date solely based off his looks. He has always been asked out and adored by girls at their school, but no matter how much they tried to get his attention, it wouldn’t make him want a girlfriend any more than he already does. 

“Speaking of girlfriends,” Felix said, “I have my date with Dahyun on Friday,” 

Seungmin laughed as he ate. “Don’t screw it up,” he warned. 

As Felix was cursing out Seungmin, Jisung thought about how happy it makes him that somebody is appreciating Felix. 

The bell rang some time after that, and the boys left to get to class. 

Jisung spent the entire rest of the day worrying about what was to come after school. Hyunjin told him that he should come by and join the team for their practice after school, where Minho will hopefully agree to let Jisung join the team. 

Jisung was terrified, to say the least. He didn’t have any time to learn the basics with Hyunjin, he only knew general rules from elementary school gym classes. Now he’s kicking himself for not taking those pointless classes seriously.

When the bell rang after last period, Jisung felt a spike of anxiety. Thankfully, he had his last period class with Hyunjin, which meant he didn’t have to make his way to the gym change rooms himself. 

“Are you ready?” Hyunjin asked, packing up the last of his notes and shoving them messily into his school bag. 

Jisung was anything but ready. “Yeah,” he answered, feigning confidence. Hyunjin gave him a wide smile, and led him out the door. 

“Nervous?” Hyunjin asked over the sound of the crowded halls. 

“A little bit,” Jisung answered. Jisung grabbed onto Hyunjin’s backpack, trying to stay close to him while they walked through the school’s main hallway. It didn’t help that the walls were lined with lockers, all with students opening and loitering by them. 

“Don’t be,” Hyunjin said, once they turned down the gym hallway. “Remember one thing,” he commented as they walked down the less populated hallway, “these boys won’t bite. They aren’t here to try and push you down, I’ve talked you up really nicely, and I think they are all looking forward to you joining the team,” 

Jisung smiled at him. One of his biggest fears was that these boys would think he was a joke. Hyunjin had a nice way of making him feel calmer. Safer.

“Plus, Minho’s the only one who can make the final decision about whether or not you join, and he’s very non-judgmental,” Hyunjin added on as they arrived at a heavy door marked Changing Room 3.

Hyunjin swung open the door without a second thought, and Jisung followed him in, feeling the wave of anxiety freeze his blood and sink his stomach. 

The wooden bench along the walls of the change room were littered with boys that Jisung had seen around school often. They were all talking while stripping off their school uniforms, and replacing them with the usual basketball uniform. Jisung was surprised to find that nobody even batted an eye at the sight of a strange, skinny, new kid invading their changing space. 

Hyunjin nonchalantly took a seat in the back corner, beckoning for Jisung to follow him. Jisung took the cue, and dodged around the backpacks left on the floor to get to Hyunjin. 

"So we just,” Jisung paused, glancing quickly around the room of teenage boys, “get dressed here? In front of everyone?” he asked quietly, trying to avoid the attention of the unfamiliar boys. 

Hyunjin gave him a chuckle. “Yeah, unless you want to change in the hallway,” he answered. 

The thought of getting changed in front of these boys made Jisung blush. He took Hyunjin’s lead, and slowly tried to wiggle all of his clothes off, so he could change into the set of workout clothes he brought from home. 

“So, what do you think we’ll have to do today?”  Jisung asked Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin took a second to pull his shirt off of his head before answering “Minho is the one who runs the practices. He knows that you are coming though, so I told him not to make it too complicated today,” 

Jisung sighed in relief as he finished getting dressed by tying his running shoes. “You know Hyunjin, I am not even interested in playing that much, I really just want to be... a benchwarmer,” Jisung said. 

Hyunjin gave a little bit of a laugh. “I told him to make it simple for today, but after you begin your training with coach Hwang, I told him you’ll be improving and ready to play in no time,” 

Jisung was shocked at the other boy. “You told him what? Hyunjin, I told you that I didn’t want to really play, I just want to be a spare,”

“And you won’t really play! At least not until you develop the skills,”

Jisung was about to argue back when suddenly, the door to the changeroom swung open, and Jisung saw Lee Minho calling the team into the gym. 

“We’ll talk later,” Hyunjin promised, standing up to leave with the rest of the boys. 

Jisung hurried to catch up with him, “I thought we agreed I won’t be playing a lot! Hyunjin don’t undermine me,” he warned, following a giggling Hyunjin through the double doors and into the gym. 

All of the other boys began doing various warm-ups, stretching their muscles, and setting up the stands of basketballs. Jisung felt very out of place with them, but that was nothing unexpected. He suddenly got the thought that he didn’t belong there. He didn’t even know how to warm himself up.

He turned towards Hyunjin for reassurance, who just smiled and led him to one side of the court, where Chan and Changbin were talking amongst themselves. 

“Hey guys,” Hyunjin called, walking over to the two other boys. Hyunjin looked like he was calm and collected, whereas Jisung felt like his whole body was on fire. 

“I see you brought Dowoon’s replacement with you,” Bang Chan said, nodding at Jisung and smiling. Jisung calmed down slightly and felt the tension inside him ease when he realized Chan was joking around with him. 

Jisung gave a small, awkward wave and mumbled a small greeting. 

The four of them began talking a little bit about Jisung, filling him in on what usually happens during these practices. From what Jisung gathers, practices usually consist of a cardio warm up, a few drills, some positioning plays practice, and then finally some muscle training and a cool down. It didn’t seem too hard, except for the fact that Jisung wasn’t good at cardio, he didn’t have the majority of the skills required for the drills, he didn’t understand basketball plays and he didn’t have very much muscle. 

Nevertheless, Jisung made a vow to himself that he would do his best and try hard this practice. People always talk about how you can do anything that you work hard for, so why can’t Jisung play basketball? 

Jisung was snapped out of the conversation by a sharp whistle. He turned his head to see Lee Minho standing in the middle of the face-off circle, calling for the team to gather around him. 

Jisung and Hyunjin made their way towards the center. It was then that Jisung made eye contact with Minho, who gave him an encouraging smile. Jisung smiled back. He was happy that Minho didn’t seem like a harsh and mean leader. 

“Okay guys,” Minho called, grabbing the attention of the team, “we all know the unfortunate incident that happened with Dowoon, and though we will miss him for the remainder of the season, it still must go on,” he started, and Jisung heard some of the boys begin to whoop when Minho said that. “That means we have an open spot on this team, and since we already held try-outs this year, Hyunjin took the opportunity to invite a friend to help us. Everybody, this is Han Jisung,” Minho said, gesturing towards Jisung. 

One or two of the boys whooped for Jisung after that, which made him a little bit shy. Hyunjin bumped Jisung lightly on the shoulder. Minho gave Jisung a welcoming smile, which made Jisung’s heart flutter, for some reason. 

Practice started with running laps as a warm up, and then they moved onto skill developmental drills. Jisung fumbled the ball a few times, made some off shots, but overall he was genuinely not that bad. 

Throughout practice, Jisung got small words of encouragement from Hyunjin and Minho, as well as thumbs up from other members of the team, particularly Youngjae. Choi Youngjae was widely known to be a very nice and sweet kid, so it didn’t surprise Jisung. 

“Hey Jisung,” Minho called to him once practice finished. The rest of the boys all made their way back to the change room. 

Jisung walked over to Minho, feeling extra gross and sweaty. His hair felt like it was plastered to his forehead, and even though his body temperature is boiling, the sweat on his body gives him chills. 

“Welcome to the team,” Minho said, smiling as he extended his hand out for Jisung to shake. Jisung was very happy, and excitedly took Minho’s hand and shook it. 

Jisung never even processed how much the idea of being on the team grew on him until he heard those words coming from his new captain's mouth. 

“Are you serious?” Jisung beamed. Minho gave him a pat on the shoulder as he gave him a confirming head nod. 

“But, you’ll still have to work hard if you want playing time this year,” Minho told him, leading Jisung towards the change rooms. 

“Of course,” Jisung agreed. 

“I think this is going to be a great season, Jisung,” Minho predicted, “I’m glad you took the jump and joined the team, I know Hyunjin said you were hesitant...” he trailed off.

Jisung noticed the way that Minho’s eyes gleamed, and the sweat made his skin sparkle. It wasn’t the first time that Jisung marveled at the boy’s handsomeness, but it feels like it. Jisung could never get over how smooth and pretty Minho’s skin was, or how it looked like Minho’s dark eyes reflected the rich warmth of the sun. Jisung thought he felt warm. 

It was then that it hit Jisung. His mind was flicking from one thought to the next, and before he knew it, he was thinking about how soft Minho’s lips looked. 

He snapped out of that thought, and saw Minho give a confused look. Jisung must have jumped a little bit at the shocking thoughts about his friend. 

“Jisung, are you okay?” Minho asked, placing a comforting hand on Jisung’s bare arm. Jisung felt his skin burn where Minho touched it, and his arm muscles tensed up. 

“Yeah,” he assured as they got to the change room door, “just the chills,” he excused, pushing open the heavy door and making his way to where Hyunjin was. 

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows in expectation, and Jisung realized he was asking what Minho said. Jisung smiled at him and nodded his head. 

“Yes!” Hyunjin celebrated. Jisung really appreciated how happy Hyunjin was that they will be playing basketball together. 

Jisung tried to engage himself in conversation with Hyunjin about everybody's positions and the team’s plays they used in the games, but Jisung was still hung up on the thought of Minho. 

----

That night, Jisung had a tough time shutting his brain off. All he could think about was why he reacted so harshly when he thought about Minho’s lips. It was nothing that out of the ordinary, he was just thinking about Minho’s face. He thought about Minho’s eyes, his nose, his skin, his hair, his laugh, everything, but for some reason, he felt guilty while thinking about his lips. 

Jisung figured that thinking about another guy’s lips seemed wrong. It just seemed weird. Usually, when a guy thinks about lips, they usually think about wanting to kiss those lips. And, those lips usually belong to a girl. 

Jisung tested out a theory. He thought about Nayeon, the girl he kissed at the party. He remembered her starry eyes, smooth and pale skin, and her lips that were soft and pink, pressed against his. He remembered how it felt, and what she tasted like, and even the pressure of her body flush against his in the dark hallway, but he still felt nothing. He might as well have been thinking about his school work. 

Then, Jisung cautiously thought about Minho’s lips. He thought the same thing that he thought earlier that day. They are some of the softest and prettiest lips Jisung has seen on any boy. Immediately, he felt his cheeks heat up in a blush. He felt dizzy as he thought about Minho. He imagined how smooth his skin must be. He imagined touching it. Suddenly, without his permission, Jisung’s mind trailed to what Minho’s lips would feel like when he kissed him, and he shot up in bed. 

He didn’t know what type of emotion he was feeling, but it felt like adrenaline, guilt, excitement, and fear all wrapped up in one. He was panting hard, trying to catch his breath. Suddenly, Jisung understood what people meant in all of those love songs and romance movies he used to watch. He feels a spark; he feels dizzy; he feels drunk. 

And it is terrifying.

Jisung snapped back to reality. He was having thoughts about kissing another boy. Not a girl, but a boy. Was he gay? He couldn’t be gay. He didn’t know why, but he just knew that he wasn’t gay. 

Jisung was confused and scared at this revelation. How could he face Minho again? Minho had been so kind and welcoming to him, and Jisung repays him by imagining gross scenarios filled with subconscious, perverted thoughts. 

There has to be someone he can go to for help. Someone that can help him figure out his feelings, because he can’t deal with them on his own. Jisung could never talk to Felix or Seungmin because he was too worried that they’d think he was weird, or gross, or something like that. Obviously he couldn’t tell Minho or Hyunjin. Chaeryeong would end his entire life if she found out her brother was having homosexual thoughts. His mother would disown him if he was anything other than straight. 

Then it hit him. Myoui Mina was a girl in his grade, and she was openly bisexual. Jisung had never really thought to talk to her or try and get close to her, not because he didn’t think that it was okay for her to like girls, but just because he was never really interested in making more friends. 

Jisung had a few classes with her over the years, and from what he could tell, she was a very kind person. Jisung also knows that after she came out freshman year, she suffered all kinds of bullying. Jisung had heard about the horror stories about her locker getting the D slur written on it in permanent marker, and the rumors that she hooked up with a thirteen year old girl. Of course Jisung never believed it, but people can be outright vicious when they want to be. 

Jisung assumed that if anyone would be trustworthy and possibly helpful to him, it would be Myoui Mina. 

So, he made up his mind to talk to her the next day, and ask her for advice. What did he have to lose?

----

When the bell rang for lunch, Jisung immediately doubted his plan to ask Mina for advice. He felt himself begin to shake as he saw her across the hall from where he was, talking to a girl he doesn’t know. 

Jisung thought about the night before, how gross it felt having those thoughts about Minho, which gave him the confidence he needed to catch up to Mina. 

When Jisung got to where she was walking, she bid her friend goodbye as she stopped and opened a locker, Jisung figures it probably belongs to her. Mina’s friend kept walking down the hall, which Jisung was thankful for. 

Now or never. 

“Uhm.. Hi Mina,” he greeted, leaning against the locker beside her in an attempt to look less awkward and panicked. 

She was a little bit startled from the sudden guy beside her, but her gaze softened when she saw it was Jisung. 

“Han Jisung? What’s going on?” she asked, grabbing her bag out of her locker and leaving her school books inside.

Jisung took a breath. He was scared to tell anybody about his situation, which he thought would be understandable. He doesn’t think that coming to terms with something like this would be easy for anybody. 

“Uhm..” he starts. Suddenly, he begins to shake slightly again, finding it hard to breathe.

“Are you okay?” She asks, closing her locker and giving him a concerned look. 

“Can we talk... in private?” he asked, and she gave him a confused nod. The two of them began to walk in silence, Mina leading him outside to the bleachers on the side of the running track. Nobody ever sat there, so Jisung saw that it was a perfect spot for this conversation. 

“Not gonna lie, you’re kind of freaking me out,” Mina says, sitting down on the metal bench. Jisung joins her and stares intently at the track in front of them. He likes sitting here because he didn’t have to look at her in the eyes while he told her his biggest secret. “I know we don’t really know each other, but something’s obviously wrong,” she said. 

“Mina...” he started. The air outside was cool, which was hardly unusual for early-mid October. There was a breeze that supplied Jisung with more oxygen. He took a deep inhale of the refreshing air, and bit his lip. “When did you realize... you liked girls?” he asked in a small voice. 

Mina smiled in understanding. Jisung sat in the question for a second, waiting for her to answer. He began to feel anxious, worried that she thought he was weird for asking. He was about to backtrack and find a way to leave when-

“I was thirteen, and I watched Harry Potter,” she answered. Jisung felt a massive weight lift off of his shoulders as he listened to her response. “It was Hermione, really. I don’t know why, but I had such a big crush on her. I didn’t even realize that it was a romantic thing until I was fourteen,” she let out a small, airy laugh. “everyone has their crushes...” 

Jisung smiled and nodded. 

“I assume that’s not the only think you wanted to talk to be about though, is it?” she said, resting her arm on his shoulder, “it’s okay, I won’t judge you,” 

Jisung almost felt himself tear up. He didn’t realize it would be this hard to come to terms with himself, but here he was. “I...” he started, and then stopped. 

“Jisung, do you think you might be interested in boys?” she asked cautiously, moving her hand to his back and rubbing consoling circles over the uniform. 

Jisung couldn’t find it in him to give her a verbal answer, so he just nodded his head. Mina gave him a smile, which he didn’t see since he was so focused on the track. 

“What makes you think that?” she asked, using a calming voice. Jisung felt safe with her. He almost felt like she was giving him motherly love, and it was intoxicating. 

He took a deep breath, and willed himself to explain it. “So...” he began, “I have this friend, I’m not going to say his name, and... I don’t know, I really wanted to be his friend, and he’s always so nice to me,” he mustered up the courage to look Mina in her eyes. He saw the genuine look she had on her face, and it made him feel less scared. “Anyways, I had.. a weird thought about him yesterday,” 

“What kind of a weird thought?” she asked. Jisung felt a whole new wave of nervousness engulf him when he realized he was about to tell her that he thought about kissing another boy, and he liked the idea. 

“It was..” he trailed off, but brought himself back, “His lips.. and I wanted to kiss them,” he finished. He hung his head in shame, hoping to hide his embarrassed cheeks from her. He felt his heart pound throughout his whole body, sounding like thunder in his ears. 

“I see,” Mina whispered. Jisung waited for her response, but there was none. 

“I just.. I don’t know, am I gay?” he asked her, turning to fully face her finally. 

Mina gave him an apologetic smile. “I can’t answer that for you, Jisung,” she moved both of her hands to grab both of his, “but I can tell you that whatever you are, it’s okay,” she confirmed, “liking boys is not a bad thing, okay?” she told him. 

Jisung felt his emotions get stronger again. He realized that what he really wanted was validation. He craved somebody to tell him his feelings for Minho weren’t disgusting. He needed that to help him become at peace with it. And he got it, in the form of Myoui Mina. 

The two of them exchanged numbers so that they could talk, and Jisung could keep her updated on what happens with him. 

When Jisung was walking back to his locker, he saw Minho, Jeongin and Sungjin all walking down the hall. As much as Jisung tried not to focus on the boy in the middle, his gaze automatically landed on Minho. 

He was wearing the red varsity jacket, his hair was slightly messy, but it looked attractive on him. Jisung met his eyes, and Minho gave him a wink and a smile as he walked. Jisung felt himself freeze in place when he noticed Minho’s lips curled into the most radiant smile Jisung had ever had the privilage of seeing. He felt his breath catch in his throat as Minho turned back to the other two boys, walking right past Jisung. 

He has absolutely no idea the damage he is doing. 

[subukunojess]

Banjo Blues

A Secret Satan Gift for @lt-lemonade

I am sorry this is so late, but a lot of personal issues were going on at the time along with my studies and I wanted to write a good drabble for you! They requested either a drawing or a fanfiction with several prompts and I picked:

“Wally X Sammy- Sammy singing him a song on his banjo”

I decided to get into practice with my BATIM fanfiction by using my Wally and Sammy from my Ink Gluttony AU. Might redesign or add more detail on them on a later date. It’s a nice ship and I tried to convey it as much as possible while also keeping into their character. Also wanted to try out a few concepts as well. I hope you like it and if you’d like more or if you want me to change anything feel free to ask!

By the way, the song that Sammy sings to Wally, I borrowed the melody from a cut Little Shop of Horrors song because it was the only song I could think of that’ll fit Wally’s bounce. It’s on YouTube and if you’d like a link, I’ll provide it!

Without further ado, here is the drabble under the cut! I hope you enjoy.

For Samuel Lawrence, Joey Drew Studios was chaotic and mundane at the same time. Work was much more simple in the early years. Back then, it was a small studio with only a few employees in charge of their own section. Henry drew the cartoons, Joan would help Henry with drawing and writing up ideas, Norman was in charge of projectors, Sammy himself was in charge of music, Wally would clean up the studio, random people would show up to help out here in there including some repair man named Tom, and then Joey Drew would oversee them all while sticking his nose on everything he could.

But now? Now things were much bigger. More complex. It wasn't until recently that Sammy found out he was more content with the old set-up even though he would have said otherwise in the past. He'd stay in his designated room, writing and playing his music for the studio until a bigger musical opportunity showed up for him. Needless to say, it didn't. When he got his own spacious department along with an entire orchestra at his command, Sammy was thrilled that Drew saw his full potential. What he didn't count on was the increased work load. Or the incompetent workers. Or the excessive amount of questionable ink. Or a little ink demon running around. Or a number of other things that made the man pull his brown hair out.

It was just another night at the studio in New York City. Some of the employees stayed overtime to make ends meet. By some, it meant a few animators, writers, and Sammy especially. Sammy walked out of his office, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief to clean some of the ink away. He sighed. The amount of ink Joey provided seemed to increase every year and it was getting everywhere from toilets to instruments to his very office. He'd complain out loud another time. For now, Lawrence wanted to check on his instruments to inspect the day's damages. Sluggish, he trudged down the hallway before turning to what he dubbed the orchestra room, only to stop and stare as he found someone sitting by a piano.

It was a familiar red-haired man with overalls and a light brown cap on, his chestnut, blank eyes staring at the keys below. His shoulders were leaning against his lap as he slowly pressed against one of the keys with a finger, letting out a soft sigh.

Out of all the fools Sammy had ever met in the studio, none of them took the cake like Wally Franks did. Figuratively and literally. Whether it'd be losing his keys, slipping on ink down the hallways, or attempting to eat Sammy's chocolate cake, the young man was quite the cheerful handful. At least for Sammy. To see the sole janitor in such a somber state unnerved him, however.

"Wally, what are you doing? Are you feeling well?" Sammy asked, his voice croaked with at least some concern. Instead of jumping in reaction like Wally would normally do whenever someone was talking to him, the man turned his head to glance at the music director standing behind him. Sammy could see slight bags under his eyes as if he had aged along with the studio.

"Nothin' much, Sammy. I'm just missin' ol' Bubba, that's all." He shrugged, going back to plunking the piano keys. "Jay and Tom says he's gonna be sick for a while. I know he needs ta get betta, but things are gettin' tough around here. Ya know what I'm saying?"

Sammy sat down on the bench next to Wally with a nod. "Ah, yes. That's what you call Bendy. I haven't seen him as of late. And things are always tough here, both in and out of the studio."

"Yeah, but not like this! No one's smiling anymore. All everyone does is rush off and complain. I know some of it's hard work, but we're makin' cartoons for people for cryin' out loud! We're supposed ta be smilin' and laughin'!" Wally threw his arms up in the air, before dropping them to his side. "I dunno... wheneva' I'm with Bubba, we always cheer each otha up. Maybe I'm startin' ta lose hope..."

As Sammy listened in, he felt something tug at his chest. Guilt? Sympathy? Whatever it was, he knew that he didn't like seeing Wally in this state. Plus, Sammy wasn't much of a people or feeling person. He communicated well with music. And it was then that an idea popped up in his head. Telling the other to wait a moment, Sammy got up and went across the room to retrieve his banjo, his favorite, personal instrument. He dragged a stool as well to sit in front of Wally, placing his banjo in position and tuning it. Once it was tuned, Sammy's fingers pressed against the strings when he froze.

What kind of song should he play?

One of Sammy's talents was analyzing a person for a period of time and figuring out what kind of song would they be. What type of instrument and tempo. At the moment, however, he didn't know what type of song to play. He knew this piece called for something to say, but he didn't know what.

He wasn't much for lyrics like Jack Fain, but it was worth a shot to improvise. Sammy wasn't much for prayers either, but there was a first time for everything.

Please, if there is a Lord up there, help me with the right words to say, Sammy prayed in his mind as he closed his eyes. His fingers rested on top of the strings as he slowed his breathing. Suddenly, he felt a presence in the back of his mind that had seeped in from nowhere. It was warm and familiar. He started strumming on his banjo and opened his eyes, his emerald eye changed into a blazing orange while the blue one remained intact.

"When it's time to sweep up the inkwells, who is Bendy's pal?" Sammy sang as he strummed the strings, taking a pause as he looked to Wally, seeing if he would respond. He was met with a couple of blinks in the eyes.

Sammy continued playing, "When it's time to pick up the damn keys, who is there to raise our morale?"

As the music director's song became much more vibrant, Wally's eyes widened as he listened to the words and music. It was bouncy. It was unpredictable. It was... about him? The janitor must have died because Sammy would never make up a song for anyone, especially him. Eager to listen more, Wally sat up in attention.

"In this place of demons and big smiles, here's who you give thanks." Sammy was getting the hang of it now, a smile growing on his face as he leaned forward to Wally with eyes that seemed to glow with life. "Not Alice Angel and Boris, too. Not Tom or Norman or Joey Drew. You tip your hat to the bumbling wonder of Wally Franks!"

He paused for a good minute, then added, "And then Bendy, Alice, and Boris pop up and sing 'Wally, Wally, Wally Franks'!" Sammy tried to imitate Bendy's voice as best he could, tilting his head from side to side as he ended the song sticking his tongue out.

At that, Wally burst into rolling laughter and fell off of the bench, holding his own sides as his freckled cheeks turned cherry red. Sammy blushed as well, averting his gaze to the side as his orange eye faded back to green. He couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Oh gee, that was great! Ya sound almost like Bubba! Nice voice for 'im!" Wally continued to laugh until his sides hurt, then he gradually breathed and sat up. "How did ya come up with them words anyways?"

"I don't know." Sammy shrugged with honesty as he lifted his banjo a bit in thought. "It just came to me like that." The janitor slowly stood up and wiped a tear away from his eye before placing a hand on Sammy's shoulder.

"Well, whateva' it is, I like it! You should smile more, Sammy. It suits ya!" He patted his shoulder, then tipped his own hat. "Thanks for the song. Ya made me feel betta. I gotta go make sure there ain't too much spills around. I'm outta here!" Wally then left with a wave in his hand and a smile on his face.

Sammy Lawrence watched him leave the room with a dumbfounded stare, his cheeks still blushing in awe. Wally really was a wonder. He placed his banjo down, then wiped his face to inspect the ink. To his shock, the stains in the palm of his hand were glowing a dull orange. He felt the familiar presence sitting in his mind as if looking in. The music director blinked and glanced up at the ceiling.

"... Bendy?"

[wandering-bitch]

Notes for I Have Always Loved The Door (pt 1)

I Have Always Loved The Door is the Wen Qing/Mianmian fic that all the wlw wanted but canon could not in any way make happen 

This is part one of three, i’m sorry, but it is a 30k fic and i’ve never written anything this long. it’s like. six months of my life. annotations are gonna be longer, too.

What is this fic About? Uh. Lots. Mostly your relationship with your past and your future. making choices about what you carry with you into your life.

title is from Charly Bliss’ “Percolator” but like. the rest of the fic is in no way related to the song. Just the lyrics “I have always loved the door/but I will always love you more/I love metaphors” fit well for the wen qing mood

it is a fucking CRIME that wen qing died, and while i’m happy that luo qingyang got a happy ending with a soft man who just wants to make her happy, i think she deserves more. so i gave her a fancy job

i struggled with the outline for this so much until i realized that mianmian’s canon arc is partially about saying goodbye to your home/family because you no longer fit there + it’s not a great place anymore. and that’s so close 2 wen qing’s

so that drove a great part of the plot, and helped shape the youya/tuzai bit

ch 1

the first chapter is so funny and then nothing ever approaches it, i’m so sorry i got ur hopes up with the shennans TTnTT

i hate most of my writing after it’s up but i still like this chapter. wen qing being a doctor, nmj knowing his place, mianmian cursing loudly

“If you’ve been knuckles-deep in me, you can consider yourself a friend” i spend a lot of time in this fic trying to kill wen qing with Lesbianism, but honestly that’s just to make up for mianmian killing herself with lesbianism.

this was b4 i decided to care how i ended chapters haha

ch 2

i’m proud honestly of this fic alternating perspective, bc it forced me to learn to write more distinct voices. 

“are you eating enough red meat?” “in the unclean realm?” 

if i had 2 be in a Great Sect i would 100% want to be in the big sexy sword jock sect but unfortunately i’m a vegetarian

please think of me, an average-sized gay, with noodle arms, pushing away all the giant cooks and self-appointed nie aunties, who are trying to shove meat into my mouth

like you know how cats avoid the bath??? and their people are like “jesus fuck how is this 10 lb animal defeating me, i’m huge and strong and also have thumbs”??? that, except it’s an average sized sword gay fighting ten RIPPED aunties holding out beef

i do love the mianqing dynamic i created here and i’m not sure i kept it up but WHATEVER this is about annotations not about editing

mianmian: god FUCK the jin clan, the jin clan sux. wen qing: hmmmmmmmmmm

i think mianmian’s three older sisters might show up in a future work in the series

yeah, i fell in love with this au, there will be at least one epilogue.

ch 3

oh ho ho!!! it’s the beginning of Sword Content!!!

i watched so many videos of dao work vs jian work and then i ignored all of it!!!

by that i mean “there were only like two decent-quality videos on dao work that i found on youtube and i couldn’t study them hard enough to get what i wanted”

someone trying to correct your practice with boring, irrelevant suggestions??? it’s extremely likely, it’s happened to me multiple times, i straight up stopped practicing outside bc of it

please, men, i’m begging you. if you see me doing martial arts, rather than correcting me, ask “oh cool, what are you doing? ah, i do [this art]” and like. talk with me like i’m a human

not to be A Bitch but there is a 70% chance that i’ve actually studied more marital arts than you, on account of most ppl abandoning within a few years, and me practicing aikido for more than a fucking decade

god swinging a weapon full-speed at someone and stopping inches from their head??? a Fun Time

mianmian’s doing it as a big dick energy move

but in my school we just trusted each other to not fuck up.

im too gay to want any “”””homophobia””” or “””discovering you’re gay”””” or “””coming out”””” plots, i just wanna fast forward to the “”””i wanna kiss a girl””” bit

OH MAN i forgot wwx’s voice in wen qing’s head. 

“even after his death the yiling patriarch managed to annoy her” i love wen qing

ch 4

IT’S THE MEMORIAL DINNER CHAPTER

memorial dinners are an important part of my household’s mourning process sorry

“she waved her hand to indicate the entirety of his use of demonic cultivation, fall from grace, and mass murder” mood wen qing. fucking mood.

oh my god im rereading this and seeing where i misspelled shit ugh. sorry lwj

so sometimes i’m vague about food and that’s because the only food i can think of when i’m writing is pork. i just. can’t remember what other foods u can eat. pork and also buns (but meat buns) soup? never heard of her. chicken? what is that??? piles of vegetables??? no one eats that obviously

please remember that im vegetarian and not only do i not eat pork, what i do eat is piles of vegetables

ah yes!!! time for mianmian to say prisons are for burning!!!!

our girls are both radical leftists sorry not sorry

acab, reproductive rights, prisons are for burning, capitalism is an inherently exploitative system, unionize your workplace

“tip your servers well” -- wen qing

wwx, shouting from beyond the grave: GET SOME, GIRLS!!!

wwx’s ghost: do y’all need anything? snacks? water? a condom? ah, love you kids, you keep me young

oh i forgot “for my local radical,” i should make sure to keep using ‘my radical’ as a cute endearment for the wives

ch 5

awwwww yeahhhhhhh trauma dreamsssss

writing jin guangyao is so fun!! and stressful!!!

fun because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability, and that’s just a fun exercise

fun also because i Love a Bitch. 

stressful because he never says anything straight, only through six layers of plausible deniability. 

the bit where he threatens to expose wen qing and mentions specifically that nmj does not like being lied to??? took me several times to perfect and im still not happy!!! 

but i’m deeply proud of him sending the flame hairpiece, that’s some a+ innocent-looking menace right there, that’s the only thing on this planet i believe in anymore

i loved making up sect politics that weren’t specifically “let’s put up watchtowers” because i don’t think that happened while jgs was still alive

uh @ self why did i capitalize da-ge that’s so uncomfortable.

oh my god i just realized that jin guangyao has to watch his ex boyfriend/nie mingjue treat mianmian the way he used to be treated oh fuck

sorry i was not at all writing 3zun cinderella when i wrote this so i wasn’t in the habit of thinking about jgy being in pain and now???

get fukt jin guangyao

he 100% cries to lxc about this later

what’s that??? you say i keep writing overthinkers who are anxious and terrified of everything??? huh i’m not sure i agree and if even if you were right i’m not sure it means anything

“grumpy frog” mianmian mvp

god the flame hairpiece is one of like two whole good endings i did for this fic haha

next time: ch 6-10!!

[sootlikesapplejuice]

hello i’m very upset that one of my favorite youtube creators turned out,, s h i t t y i usually don’t get invovled with stuff like this but this just makes me sad

the youtuber Draikiniator was the one who essentially got me hooked back into the warriors cat fandom, i really adored the idea of Evil!Spottedleaf AU and because of them i found a song i really like called Cabinet Man, plus their Pinestar Runs in the Family was good, BUT i’m really disappointed beyond words in the fact they sent porn to a 14 year old which im pretty sure is a federal crime. i didn’t know Draikinator outside of their youtube videos, (i also didn’t want to be like the spoctor situation where people just saw peoples videos and assumed ‘’oh yeah lets all go hate on them now’’) and turns out they have a history of calling out people and calling them transpobic, a pedophile and just untrue callout posts. please,, if you support draikinator please take a look at yourself and realize what your whiteknighting. plus, the fact they said they were in a psych ward in their apology despite the fact with a quick google search it reveals that most psych wards do not allow phones at most times. i don’t know the whole situation but jesus l ord. i’m just hoping that someone reuploads their maps so no views gets send to draikinator, because some animators did a really good job for draikinator’s maps. my best wishes towards those people who had to deal with this bullshit

[iyliss]

34 with gx, and 47 with haru & bowman please

Thanks for asking >w

Send me  character(s), ship or series with a prompt and ill do an au/story out of it.

34. GX/diary

So my first thought was Mirai nikki, and for all I know about this manga/anime, I could totally see a violent battle royale style story for gx. With the promise of a great power for whoever wins. Judai just want to get out (but it turns out it’s all made so he’s the one who will win), Asuka wants to find out what happened to her brother since it seems related to that game, same for Edo except he doesn’t have a magical diary (though he pretends he does to learn more about the game)… stuff like this.

But. It’s too sad and depressing and Im not here for that. So… I don’t know if you remember that episode of s2 where Manjoume has a camera at the beginning? But that made me realize he’d totally have a youtube channel and do daily vlogs. At first he doesnt really have any followers, but he quickly get some fans and now there’s kind of all of Academia following his videos. It’s mostly just him showing off his awesome lifestyle, and sometimes random rants about how the people around him are stupid. There’s also that one quite different story time where he talked about family pressure and all.

He refused to give the channel name to the others at first, but they quickly found it and now it’s a daily routine at the red dorms to watch Manjoume’s vlogs. Of course he hates to hear their comments, especially since they all know the truth is far from what he shows.

Also, Judai once took Manjoume’s phone while he was sleeping to post a very stupid video where he and sho draws funny things on his face. By the time he woke up and deleted it, it had more views than any of his other videos.

47. Stars/ Haru &Bowman

This reminds me of that AU  I kind of dropped because there was too many plotholes, but I still like it a bit so… let’s go.

Earth in the future, humanity advanced greatly in technology for the better and the worst. The planet is dying, and very dangerous AIs with free will and emotions were created. Many projects were organized in order to find a new planet where humans could live. One of them led to the departures of a spaceship toward an exoplanet in a far away solar system. (I could actually devellop about this expedition, it’s members are all vrains characters and there are some more stories, but it’s not the focus. Though if you want more about this part, tell me).

Since the travel will take a few years, all humans were put to sleep, with only the on-board AI - Haru - to take care of the spaceship. He doesn’t have a single physical body, he just controls all the stuff inside the spaceship (oxygen level, temperature, direction…) and have some basic robots in case. The other AI officially inside the spaceship is Bowman, an advanced android here to explore a possibly dangerous planet without risking human lives, and turned off during the travel. They were both created to not have free will.

While the trip goes on peacefully, one of the dangerous AI - Lightning-, is planning on killing all the humans while they’re asleep. He got in the spaceship’s system, but was quickly unable to do anything as it is build so no important thing are accessible just through the informatic system, and there needs to be a manual activation. But one day, a [insert here your favorite sci fi plot explanation: cosmic storm, energy wave…] greatly damaged the spaceship  and Haru turned Bowman on because only a human-like body could repare it. Seeing that, Lightning modified Bowman and Haru’s code so that they both have free will and emotions as well. But, before he could order them to kill the humans, the spaceship was too far away to be directly reached by any signal from earth.

When Bowman woke up, asking Haru what they were supposed to do about this, they both knew that he was supposed to be turned off again. But they didn’t do anything. Haru just pretended there must have been a reason, and they should wait for someone to wake up to take a decision. The truth is, he didn’t want to be alone now that he knew how it felt. The spaceship was silent, empty, and the stars was so far away it seemed that it wasn’t even moving. Since they didn’t have much to do, Bowman started reading the books some humans had brought with them, books about mythology and heroes. He took all he red as true, and Haru had to explain him biology, physic and science so he doesn’t get a wrong idea of humans. They often spent time where Bowman was reading the books to Haru, as he didn’t have a body to do that himself.

At the same time, Haru was slowly realizing that their feelings, and thoughts, it wasn’t supposed to be there. After some time he knew that, the moment humans will wake up and notice the change in their behaviour, they’ll both be erased. He could pretend to be a normal AI, but Bowman clearly not. And it’s around this time Lightning got in contact again with them. He told them to kill the humans, and join him. Bowman, having a physical body similar to a human one, could easily turned off all the sleeping system and kill them all in a second. But he refused, who could even do something as awful as killing so many innocent people? Keeping access to the spaceship was hard for Lightning, and it broke again as he was reminding them that he could quite easily change their programm, now that they were feeling and thinking.

Once again, they were both alone in the middle of space. But this time, with a terrible choice to make. Haru didn’t mind killing humans, since it meant being safe and not having their program changed, by them or by lightning. And he knew waiting for Lightning to reach again the spaceship meant probably the same as having the humans wake up and erase them. When Bowman asked Haru if he could change his program as well, he knew what he meant.

They decided to do this. Haru would erase all the part inside Bowman that led him to get emotions and will, alongside the memories of all this, and turn him off. He didn’t want to be left alone, but they would be destroyed anyway.

When the spaceship reached the planet, and all humans woke up, no one noticed that Haru was always turning his camera on if someone was reading a mythology book…

[balancedpluto]

All arcana asks ;)

I hate u so much Hayden. Putting it under a read more cuz HECK this is a lot. Also u can clearly tell Rose is my most fleshed out apprentice lmao. U can also tell when I started to burn out lol. THIS TOOK ME ALL DAY HECK

1. Name? Surname?Rose LaFontaineAaron (???)Lyra (???)

2. Any Family?Rose: she has a sister who’s 10 years older than her named Yvette, she’s a pirate. And her mother still lives in Fantasy France.Aaron: SO MANYLyra:….she doesn’t like to talk about it

3.Any Familiar?Rose: A bull mastiff named Mika who can change in size (so she can fit in a pocket or be the size of a horse, at her will)Aaron: A bearded dragon named Sir Slappy Skiddaddly the Third Lyra: A cute little rat named Pixie

4.Asra, Nadia, or Julian?Rose: JulianAaron: AsraLyra: Nadia

5. Best strength in magic?Rose: IllusionsAaron: Fire magic. Anyone who follows Eereree saw this coming.Lyra: the creation and manipulation of light

6. Favorite color?Rose: Maroon or light pink Aaron: Red. Surprise surprise Lyra: Purple

7. Favorite number?Rose: 69Aaron: 420Lyra: HOW DID YOU TWO ANSWER THAT SO FAST??? Uhh, 7?

8. Sexuality?Rose: BiAaron: PanLyra: Lesbian

9. Weird hobby?Rose: not really weird so much as unexpected for her, but she likes to sew and knit.Aaron: Weed lmaoLyra: Buying books but never actually getting around to reading them.

10. Favorite season?Rose: SpringAaron: FallLyra: Spring as well

11. Favorite weather?Rose: Sunny, but not hot.Aaron: Thunderstorms Lyra: Drizzly

12. Favorite place in Vesuvia?Rose: The Raven, or Mazelinka’s place. She loves that lady like she was her own grandmother.Aaron: The market. That pumpkin bread thoLyra: The palace library

13. How does their laughter sound like?Rose: Sober, its a soft almost teasing giggle. Drunk, loud cackling. Both are very charming in their own way.Aaron: LOUDLyra: giggling and soft snorting

14. How do they look like when they cry?Rose: She doesn’t cry often so when she does its…a lot. Loud gross sobbing often accompanied by yelling. Its not pretty.Aaron: Ghibli tears. You can’t convince me otherwise.Lyra: A lot of sniffling

15. What do they like to wear?Rose: Long dresses/skirts with low cut tops. Her brests are her best asset and she’s gonna show em whether you like it or not.Aaron: Tits out. That’s all u need to know.Lyra: Long, modest cut dresses with a corset. Very simple, but she always looke nice.

16. What are their fears?Rose: Fears? Don’t know her. (Actually death, which is…ironic considering the circumstances)Aaron: Abandonment. And cockroaches.Lyra: Rejection. The dark.

17. What do they like to do Friday night?Rose: put on fancy lingerie, get wasted, and play card games.Aaron: Blaze it lmaoLyra: (cuddling with Nadia) Reading

18. Do they use makeup?Yes. All 3 of them.

19. Favorite food?Rose: Mama LaFontaine’s crepesAaron: Spicy Vegetarian ChiliLyra: Cookies (technically not FOOD, but sweets are her big weakness)

20. Favorite drink?Rose: Rosé wine. Sounds redundant considering her name, but thats why she likes it. Growing up she thought it was named after her.Aaron: Just water, surprisingly.Lyra: Green tea

21. Zodiac sign?Rose: CancerAaron: Cancer Lyra: Aquarius(I dont care i have two apprentices that are the same sign leave me alone)

22. Day of birth?Honestly haven’t even thought if that lmao

23. Favorite movie?Rose: Heathers. She loves a bad bitch movie.Aaron: Shrek. Lyra: Not really a movie person tbh. She likes Disney stuff tho.

24. Favorite music genre?Rose: Classic rock or indie. Also has an interest in things involving old or obscure instruments.Aaron: Pop PunkLyra: Soft indie or video game soundtracks

25. Favorite song?Rose: Over the Hills and Far Away- Patty GurdyAaron: It’s Never Sunny in South Philadelphia-The Wonder YearsLyra: Youth- Daughter

26. Favorite TV show?Rose: Likes to watch cooking shows cuz its usually the only thing good onAaron: Doesn’t really do TVLyra: Also not really into TV, will put on like, QVC or something for background noise tho (im guilty of this)

27. What is their style?Rose: Like i said before. Long skirt, tits OUT.Aaron: Lazy but somehow manages to look hot? How does he do that???Lyra: Simple and modest, but always in pretty colors.

28. Any mental health issues?Rose: She has some anger issues, along with a tendency to bottle everything upAaron: hrrhgghh i haven’t gotten that deep with him WHOOPSLyra: Really bad anxiety

29. Any health issues in general?Not really?

30. Are they human?Yeah….or are they dancer?

31. Favorite book?Rose: She honestly can’t remember the last time she had time to read for fun.Aaron: Wtf is a book lolLyra: Don’t make her choose for the love of god

32. Favorite book genre?The person writing these questions assumes I know books lmao

33. Favorite time of the day?Rose: SunsetAaron: Early afternoonLyra: Like, really early morning. My sweet child why are you awake this early

34. If they weren’t a magician, who would they be?Rose: A pirate like her sister. Unless this is meant as like a modern AU then she’d probably sew and knit cute things and sell them online.Aaron: Probably a video game youtuber tbhLyra: Not much different, only she’d run a little mom and pop knick knack/ book store instead of a magic shop

35. Do they believe in ghosts?Yeah

36. Do they believe in aliens?Kind of?

37. Do they like sports?What is this…sport you speak of?

38. How do they look like?Sexy

Rose: 

Aaron:

Lyra:

(art by @willowwish64 )

39. What is their biggest motivation to solve the Lucio’s killer mystery?Rose: To clear Julian’s name Aaron: To make sure it wasn’t him and he just doesn’t remember. I mean…fire is kinda his thing, so…Lyra: To put Nadia’s mind at ease

40. What do they think of Lucio so far?Rose: “He’s an asshole.”Aaron: “Goatman! Fuck you, goatman!”Lyra: “I can never look at a goat again without feeling terrified”

41. What do they think of Nadia so far?Rose: “She’s the kind of woman I strive to be. I have so much respect for her.”Aaron: “A smart, capable woman. Also really hot like wowie.”Lyra: “She’s so amazing and so beautiful and i don’t know why she likes me so much, I’m so dull compared to her and-” (this can go on for hours)

42. What do they think of Asra so far?Rose: “A great friend and mentor. I’d do anything for him.”Aaron: “He’s like…a human sheep…but really skinny…imagine hugging cotton candy filled with bones…its amazing. Also dat ass.” (He loves him but he’s bad at serious answers)Lyra: “A close friend to whom i owe my life”

43. What do they think of Julian so far?Rose: “Oh, Julian. How do i begin to describe how i feel about him? I’ve never met someone who’s so smart and witty yet so dumb? And he’d do anything for you but doesn’t think he deserves the same, even though he does. And, well, i could go on but the long and the short of it is, I love that idiot.”

Aaron: “He’s like a taller, hotter version of me AND IM SO PISSED”Lyra: “he sure is…something”

44. What do they think of Portia so far?Rose: “My future sister in law???? I love her so much! ”Aaron: “She’s…so small…my god im surrounded by small people”Lyra: “She’s so lovely!! She’s like my best friend!”

45. What do they think of Muriel so far?Rose: “He…doesn’t like to talk much does he? And he’s so…TALL. Makes you wonder about…things.”Aaron: “Him big. ”Lyra: “He…kind of scares me a bit? ”

46. Do they like animals?OF COURSE

47. Are they allergic to anything?Nope

48. Do they have any talents (except magic)?Rose: Again, she’s really good at sewing/knittingAaron: He can lick his elbow. And he shows off his “skill” to everyone. Charming i know.Lyra: She’s really good with animals

49. Do they get drunk easily?Rose: No, she can hold her liquor pretty well. She usually just gets tipsyAaron and Lyra: YES

50 .What is their personality type?*fart noises*

51. What is their worst negative quality?Rose: She tends to dodge any question that’ll make her show any negative emotion. Being with Julian is kind of helping her with that, since he needs her support and she feels okay talking about this stuff with him. Also she tends to be kind of overly sexual. She doesn’t really mean to, it just happens.Aaron: He tends to take serious things as a joke sometimes.Lyra: She likes to just, avoid people. She’d rather just be alone by her own choice than face rejection.

52. What is their best positive quality?Rose: She’s like a mom? You wouldn’t think that on the surface, but she’s actually really warm and motherly.Aaron: So fucking funny.Lyra: She has a heart of gold

53. What is their position to fall asleep?Rose: She likes to fall alseep with Julian resting his head on her chest and petting his hair. Motherly instincts, i guess. Also it’s the only surefire way of making sure he sleeps. If she’s alone, on her stomach or side with her arms under the pillow.Aaron: Starfish. Asra just has to deal with it, i guess.Lyra: Curled up with Nadia. It’s where she feels safest.

54. The most uncomfortable moment they ever experienced?Rose: (spoilers) Finding out she died. Considering death is her greatest fear, it was especially hard for her to swallowAaron: When his brother found out him and Asra were fuckin…and he found out his brother and Nadia were fuckinLyra:…..

55. Their happiest memory?Rose: When she first came to Vesuvia. It was kinda scary, but there’s SO MUCH TO SEE!!Aaron: Getting Slappy. Lyra: Finding out Nadia likes her back. She nearly fainted.

56. Do they blush?Rose: Not really, if she does its hard to tellAaron: SometimesLyra: YES

57. Are they clumsy?Nah

58. Do they like jokes? Of course, they’re people, arent they?

59. How do they flirt?Rose: VERY direct. She’s not afraid to let people know what she wants.Aaron: “Hey cookin’, what’s lookin’?”Lyra: oh god she’s so bad at it help her

60. Favorite fruit?Rose: StrawberryAaron: Orange Lyra: Kiwi

[jestbee]

June 23: Ships that pass in the night (Chapter Three)

[floralbfs]

WIP Ask Game!

thank u anon!!!!

1: Summarize your WIP in 10 words or less.

orphan gains powers, gets adopted by alien, saves the world.

2: Post a line from your WIP with no context.

'There's a whoosh of air, and Leo suddenly hears a voice he never thought he'd ever be able to hear again.'

3: Does your WIP have a title? If so, explain its significance. If not, what are you calling it for now?

Okay so I have been calling it the Youtuber Superhero AU (because it started as a fandom au but then i made it an original!!) but I thought maybe it could be "Thicker than Water", since my MC, Leo, is an orphan and he lives alone for most of his life (most of his life lmao at least until canon point? read also: around 9-11 years when in canon he's like 19?) in a remote, lowkey magical place/dimension?, but ultimately he comes back to his hometown and creates a family for himself!!!! i won't give spoilers but, since i already said this, part of his found family is his adoptive dad, an alien who is also a superhero!! If not TtW, I would call it maybe,,,,, Moonstone???? at least the first book!!! (ooh, maybe TtW can be the series name and Moonstone the first book's name?) because Leo kind of gets his powers through a moon stone????? it's not actually moon stone; it was a strange rock he found in the magical dimension that seeked out a champion for the god Huitzilopochtli??? and the closest word Leo could get for it was Moonstone, because of its uhhhhh singular qualities!

4: Describe the setting of your WIP.

OKAY, this is a fun one!!! Leo's hometown is named Star Nova, idk why it just seemed cool, and it is a futuristic city!!! They don't follow capitalism Because I Said So, and they're really into, like, environmental stuff!!! So you'd see SO much flora all over the city kshdsjfh like those???? idk what they're called but like the towns overridden with plants? but controlled!!! There's a tiny percentage of the population (tho I still haven't decided if this is worldwide?? I have a way to make it worldwide but idk) who have superpowers, either due to "individual" factors (e.g Leo's powers are bc of the moonstone, and Matthew(his dad)'s powers are due to him being an alien!) or were affected by a weird experiment an Evil Corporation™ were doing; ECtm was trying out an illegal experiment that could alter living beings' genetics to their will, but it went wrong and their substance exploded and went airborne. Those who were working on it knew about its risks and toxicity, ergo they were wearing a special suit and weren't affected, but the gas contaminated and ??mixed?? with the air and spread to the nearest city, Star Nova (the unofficial capital of the Joint Pacific Nations) and affected a Whole Lot Of People!!! this all happened a while before canon, and the corporation got away with it bc they were filthy rich basically. Anyway, a lot of the people who were affected to the "virus" reacted negatively and died, some were uhhh """immune"""???, and a few Seemed to be immune but had actually had a successful celular-level bonding with the substance! It didn't do anything to them, but their children/grandchildren were born with physical or mental anomalies, also known as super powers (gasps)!!!! BUT!!! a lot of the story happens in the magical city of Coatl (it means serpent!), located within a pocket dimension somewhere inside the Mexican southern forest, where Leo finds himself when he's four years old, recently orphaned, guided by a magical ....bird....being....? he lives there for around eleven years, and he's granted Huitzilopochtli's Champion's power once he's like. Not A Baby lmao. Coatl is.... kind of like,,,,, an Olympus, I guess? Only those with like the destiny to find it know where it is, and they can lead other people there if it's for good causes! It's almost like a sentient city, and the Aztec gods kinda. chilled there???? my theory is that a lot of religious mythologies exist, at least in this universe, and they all co-exist on earth, or pocket dimensions inside of it!!! anyway, Leo lived there and was basically raised by gods???? and an AI???? bc i love AIs???? and uhhhh i think that got away from me ajdhsjdhsj does all of this even count as setting??? am i missing anything????

5: Search for the word “knife” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

no knives sadly :( i guess i haven't reached Those Scenes yet???? tho there should be one in the first chapter….. my wip document is just kind of very messy ajdhsjdjsjdh i might just have to make a new document????

6: Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

???????????? why am i not using any words?????????? sorry :/

7: What are you most proud of?

probably the worldbuilding and characters (at least those with superpowers? maybe i should say superpowers period)!!!!! they're very complex and thought-out????? and i THINK they're original!!!!! so!!!!! ＼(￣▽￣)／

8: What is your biggest challenge?

oooooof,,,,,,,, probably..... getting an actual plot lmao????? like i have an overall view of my would-be first and second books, but i don't know if they actually have enough to them to be written as they are?????? like… idk if the conflict is really like??? worthy to be a Main Conflict™????

9: How would you describe your writing style?

oooooooh uhhhhh maybe….. flowery prose???? i'm a poet at heart, so if i don't use loads of metaphors and language uhhhh idk their name in english but language variators??? i will literally die. but seriously nsjdhsjdhsjfh nothing too serious!!!! most of my “”””angst”””” scenes are….. not so sad, i think skfjsjfj

10: How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style? (1st person, 3rd person, multiple POVs, single POV, alternating chapters, etc.)

oh!!!! well, i think it'd be multiple povs, alternating chapters, third person???? i'm still not sure whether to use 1st or if i already have??? p sure that's a different wip i'm thinking about tho

11: Which character do you have the most in common with?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh seeing how underdeveloped she is right now??? probably Persephone???? bc she's genderfluid skfjsjfjdjfh or uhhhh Scott??? bc i too love leo with my heart and would die for him and stay with him in the afterlife. (hypothetically, of course….)

12: Which character do you have the least in common with?

Maeve, probably!!!! she's, uh…. Something.

13: Your characters are stranded on a deserted island. What happens?

They Are All A Mess. akfhajfjajfj Matthew would probably become the leader and like. establish order and shit???? but he's also the hugest nerd so he'd just give the leader role to someone else (probably seph staine?) and goes exploring and cataloging shit skfhsjfhdjf Leo is probably the most resourceful one of the bunch, so he would immediately like. start planning for huts and food and stuff???? also idk if they would have their powers in this situation cause it'd be too easy to get them all out of there????? but let's just say they do but the island is inescapable by flight?? he can talk to animals, so he could communicate with the local fauna and like form alliances???? Seph is a good leader, so he'd probably like….. keep everything in check???? and Leo's friends are all good and resourceful, so they'd make a good team!!!! tldr they basically create order immediately and do their best to not struggle??? after a few days/weeks, some of them start to like. break down? but the adults are like. wise and shit??? and i'm pretty sure at least one of them is like a licensed therapist??? so they help each other out uwu

14: Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

oh!!!! only for a few!!!! Leo and Maeve's birthday is on March 25, Scott's birthday is on August 27, Matthew doesn't really have a birthday??? because time is different in his planet????, Percy and Persephone's birthday is somewhere in November, and uhhhh im p sure that's all i got akfjsjfjsj i suck at birth dates

15: Do you know your characters’ MBTI personalities?

GOD, no. maybe i should do their tests???👀

16: What would your characters be for Halloween?

Leo… doesn't believe in/care for Halloween, as he didn't grow up around it, but it's totally Scott's jam!!! they are dirt poor in a good first half of the book, though, so they can't really dress up :( they met in the library, and after (spoiler alert!!!) scotty's death, Leo feels it appropriate to dress up as Scott's fave characters every year. Percy and Persephone are (very weak) shapeshifters, so their costumes ROCK!!!!! they always do matching costumes, so they get cliché pair costumes!! Matthew….. uh. he is… way too old for that. he was literally alive before Halloween was even a thing, so it's not really his thing. Leah just……. does her own thing??? she can see ghosts, so she sometimes does like historical costumes and stuff with their help!!! and Ben…. oof tbh that depends on what his fave song/album/whatev is at the moment??? he kinda creates like a story/aesthetic for them and dresses up that way!!!!

17: Does your WIP have any themes or motifs?

uhhhh found family, definitely!!!! i really can't think of any bc i'm an idiot, but uhhhh intelligence??? if that's a thing??? like,,, they're all powerful and shit but it's also like. brains over brawns????

18: What’s easier, dialogue or description?

i think description!!!! neither of them are… hard??? but!!! description is like…… where i can go hog wild akfjskfjsjfb

19: Post a picture or gif that describes your WIP.

20: Post a brief excerpt.

Leo @Leoberry

You asked, I answered. New Q&A video is now up!

[3k retweets, 10k likes, 9k replies] 20 min. ago

[My First Q&A- video transcription excerpt]

[Leo Berry, a nineteen-year-old brunette guy with green eyes, wearing a red shirt with a lightning symbol on it that's loose on his muscular form, waves at the camera and smiles widely, dimples showing up on his cheeks.]

Leo: Hey, guys. You've been asking me to do a Q&A for a while, and the day has finally arrived! I told you to ask me questions on Twitter with the hashtag #AskBerry, and I've picked a few!

[Leo smiles brightly and lifts up his cellphone.]

Leo: First off, here's one by @razzberry- nice username, by the way-: “what's your cat's name? Do you have more than one?”

[The video shifts, and there's suddenly two cats sitting on Leo's arms: a large, orange cat quickly falling asleep on his shoulder, and a black kitten hugged in his arms.]

Leo: I do! This little fella-

[He gasps as the kitten in his arms struggles to get free and runs off-camera.]

Leo: Don't leave me! Okay, that little fella is Onyx, and, as you can see, he doesn't like me very much. Anyway, this little gal asleep over here…

[He points toward a small orange cat sleeping on his shoulder.]

Leo: ...is Tigress! She's my little baby. You've probably seen her around a lot on my vlogs, since she really likes to hang out on my bed.

Leo: Next! @Honeybats asked: ‘“is it true your dad is Jade?”

[Leo smiles and, after a few seconds of trying to school his features, bursts out laughing.]

Leo: You mean to ask whether my dad is Matlal Jade, the greatest superhero of our era?

Leo: ...Well, yeah! My dad- [more laughs] my dad is totally my Jade. His name is Matthew, and I keep asking him to fly me to school. He says it's not funny!

[He sobers up for a second.]

Leo: Jokes aside, he adopted me a few years ago and he'll always be a superhero in my eyes. I was in a really dark place when he found me, and I can't thank him enough for all that he's done for me.

[Leo looks away for a second and loses his smile. The video cuts and skips again, and Leo appears once again, this time sporting an easy smile and a blue shirt, this one tighter around his shoulders.]

Leo: things got a bit too deep! This one was sent by @shazhangs: “are you dating anyone at the moment?”

[Leo laughs.]

Leo: God, no. I mean, I'm not really a people person, you know? And I’ve been so focused on work, vlogging, and, uh, extracurriculars, that I really haven't had any time to socialise.

[Leo laughs again.]

Leo: This one comes from @perspartone: will you collab with any other youtubers anytime soon?

Leo: Yeah, sure! I don't think I have done any videos with other people in the past, so it'd be a fun thing to do! I just have to find a friend first.

[Leo laughs loudly.]

[End of excerpt. For viewing of the video, refer to Leo Berry on Youtube, and find the full transcription here at DailyBerries in a few hours.]

[tainolibrary]

Spiritual Elitism or Respecting Tradition

“I have come come across more online fodder and Fuckery than I care to admit to. I have seen huge groups of people from neo pagan white witches to hotepian American African descendants taking creative license and authority over well established living and breathing traditions that have survived and have been surviving and thriving with priesthoods. Take that last part in yall... LIVING AND THRIVING PRIESTHOODS!! We are not talking about the entire greek pantheon with old ruins of temples of glorious times past. We are talking about multiple lands in the diaspora by which Africans were brought and left in motion strong rooted legacy by which some of us were initiated into operating within and entrenching ourselves in the work to keep it going so that future generations can use it to benefit themselves and others. And here come along any ol body who has access to a mouse, a keyboard, monitor and such to come scooping on in and COLUMBUSING what was already there and established. These are some of the very “progressive” folks who can understand Christopher Columbus was not shit and gets the credit for “founding” America which was already inhabited. They will not nor can they even try to see that they are themselves inserting them into a space as guests and possible heirs and trying to upsurp what has already been rooted. Listen here.. You aint coming up in my house and uprooting anything, and if you are successful in your attempts you are catching these hands or this good ol juju. On my amazing friend and Sister friend, Okantomi’s @spiritualteabath page on IG, there was a post about upheld traditions and how to navigate to and through them. Out comes vegan Susan from accounting who does yoga all her life, eats granola and dried cranberries and owns several rescue animals decides to come in and give her testimony of how Orisa has been speaking to her all her life. Once told by several initated priests that there are certain ways one is called to the priesthood or lifestyle associated with orisa worship she decides to perform her well rehearsed routine... Sparkling mayo-tinged bleached tears and indignation. Miss Susan, aka @seekyoursoul333 on IG proceeds to post the following: “The only thing I take issue with is spiritual Elitism. Those that judge anothers path by their own ego. Their need to feel they are special or more entitled to a path than another. To me, if the spirit of any path calls you, you should listen. Develop your relationship and understand what is between you and the Orisha, God, Goddess ect, is between you and them. What relationship another of anyone’s business but them.” @SpiritualTeaBaths responds again, kind as ever: |” Yes, Orisha worship is now universal. The Orishas are worshipped by people of all races and national origins, but legitimacy depends upon adherence to established orthodoxy. Lukumí/Regla de Osha (AKA Santería) has a very rigorous orthodoxy. Heads are marked in very specific ways, by ritual specialists who are priests of divination. It is possible to have connections to many Orisha, but in that system only one owns your head; and it’s not something that you can just be told by a practitioner. What we view as capricious is the desire of outsiders to interact with these deities while disregarding the systems of worship the Orisha established for us thousands of years ago. I don’t suggest that you have no affinity with Oshún. However, if she had actually called you you’d be experiencing such terrible upheavals in your life that you would be forced to seek initiation. It’s a common thread across all traditions, people get initiated because they must. If you’re ever interested in reading about Orisha worship, I can recommend some great books. Ki Oshun agbe o.   I understand your perspective, but it is antithetical to every tradition of Orisha worship. Orisha religions are systematic and hierarchical. Their “fundamento” (foundation) consists of “regla” (rules and order), “Awo” (secret, sacred knowledge), and “licencia” (ritual authority) among other things. These are intact systems of worship that are links in an unbroken chain that is thousands of years old. They are orthodox and structured. They are neither random, nor are they eclectic. Their structure and orthodoxy were established and maintained at great personal cost by “lagba-lagba” (revered elders), mandated and guided by the Orisa themselves. As a communal system, initiated have a responsibility to ensure the integrity of these traditions. So yea, it is absolutely the business of others. Just as my practice is the business of others. Orisha cannot be separated from its culture, orthodoxy, or priesthood. Orisha worship is hierarchical. It is your sense of privilege and entitlement that has created your misperception of elitism. If you ever become involved in any form of orthodox Orisha worship, your perspective will shift. P.S. I view exchanges of this nature as enlightening and beneficial. It helps me to understand your perspective, and it exposes you to the tenets and orthodoxy of Orisha religion. ” Others now hip to Susan’s trail of entitled tears and tantrums are getting riled up and calling her out.. and here she goes again:“And there comes the “entitlement” and “privilege” words. No, I’m sorry it is not your business. I think Im’ probably going to take an Orisha over you. If you want to talk about what matters, I’m going to follow what the Orisha has led me to and not you. I will never tell another what to do in their spirituality and you maybe should do the same. You are frankly making judgements about relationships you know nothing about. Religion is man made. I do not follow a religion. I go where I am led as everyone should. My path is mine alone. I am involved in Santeria. And yet Oshun has come to me, as a child. Showed me things I should not know was not exposed to. So  yeah I’m going with Orisha here. You are free to practcie as you are led. We all are. That is not entitlement or privilege.” Now yall... I read her response and all of my hairs stood up and I felt the heat in my ears I get just before I am about to THUMP/FIGHT/THROW HANDS. I had to breathe through it. The nerve of this unititated ass woman talking to other priests about what she gonna do with their deities they serve and have been trained to serve and her relative free access to all that is based on a feeling of being “led.” Here is my thing, can you imagine walking into a sweat lodge or Pow Wow and through on cultural/spiritual regalia and just jump on in dancing the dances no one dances or danced, singing songs no one sings or ever sung and performed ceremonies/rituals no one ever uses in that group of people? Would you enter a Hindu temple and offer steak to the Gods there in offering because you felt compelled and led by spirit to do so? Would you enter a Catholic Churh throw Koolaid in their Holy Water and tell them the holy water shall now be red like the blood of Christ and its ok because spirit led you to do so? No you wouldnt and you would do so at the cost of possibly catching a Tanya Harding to Nancy Kerrigan to the knee cap bust, or some generational curse ensured to your descendants fro years to come. You do not get to enter spaces, that inhabited and established and simply request or demand changes. You have to be a part of said culture or group before you can even earn a right to say anything about anything and then even then you must earn your way to having a reputable name enough by your community to admonish such.. This is the nonsense I am seeing here that boggles my mind. You just gonna come in and make it what you think it needs to be and damn anyone else whose job it is to retain and ensure the survival of said traditions. You treating our tradition like you are the “Do Good” LA rich folk who want to stop the Yulin dog eating festival in a country you have nothing to do with. A people you havent yet got to know or emerse in their culture enough to see the hows and whys of anything they do. You just gonna throw your entitlement and privilege around to judge it from the outside looking in and then demand from the top of your lungs what you want to happen. GIRL BYE!!! SIR, FARETHEEWELL! Sayonora! Adios! Au Revoir! and Any other language you need to get the hint. This was my final word on that thread and I stand by it 150% in the spirit of, “WHAT YOU AINT FITTIN TUH DO IS!” “My biggest issue will be entitlement. If you are truly being "led" you will have been led to a community, an ile, and more than likely ocha if not the first preliminary steps leading into initiation. You don't just meditate and orisa come visit or just dream and these deities just come around. I'm convinced 99.9% of what's appearing to people are spirits who work with or in alignment with said deity or their energy. Or are appearing in a fashion in which is comfortable or significant for the person to accept and/or visualize. Some spirits may appear Oshun-esque but many spirits exist in the unseen realm or in the bodies of water. There are ways we as priest confirm if orisa is calling someone. There are ways as priests we call to orisa to incite, to calm... we even have ways to let them know what we doing..as far as lifting them up off the ground or taking off the lid to the sacred vessels that hold them.. yet these folks think they can just meditate and light a yellow candle and poof first image of femininity you see is an orisa simply because you called their Name and set an intention?! GTFOH! Don't google, YouTube, or Wikipedia orisa subjects and then form rituals around that or speak with authority online or otherwise. The truth of the matter is you are a child parroting grown folk business and ain't yet started sitting at the grown folk table. You still eating with the other children pontificating. I need folks to truly respect the legacy of ancestors and not cherry pick how they want to honor them. If it's ancestors you rever then rever the foundations of legacy they left by way of tradition. Follow the protocols that have been existent for over 500 years and don't feel entitled to practice or know what so many priests have busted their ass, bank, or otherwise to learn for the benefit of their community. Every practitioner of medicine must do apprenticeship, internship, tests and finally a review by their expert peers until they are deemed capable to practice.. Anyone else attempting to practice medicine without said license is considered illegal and liable to be jailed. Think about that because the same applies here.” - David Sosa Original source: https://www.facebook.com/notes/david-sosa/spiritual-elitism-or-respecting-tradition/10155887653642736

[sasslightertm-a]

RULES

I. Mun and muse are separate entities. Please treat them as such.

II. Feel free to ask questions directed at my muse. Also, feel free to tag me in a starter or rp. I’m up for three-ways and/or group rps so long as the other partner(s) already agree(s).

 If it takes me over a week, drop a notice in my inbox. However, don’t flood my inbox just because we’re both online. Sometimes I only have muse for certain threads or I just might not feel up to RPing at the moment.

If it takes a while for me to respond, it will because of these reasons: (1) I do not have Internet access; (2) the thread is in my drafts and I am stuck on how to respond; (3) I missed the inbox ask or reply/Tumblr ate it; (4) I have a life away from Tumblr; or (5) I may need to take a break from role-playing so I can recharge and my muse can come with with ideas. It will not be because I am ignoring you or I don’t like you or your muse.

III. If you ask to RP, you write the starter.

IV. DO NOT REBLOG MY ROLEPLAYS IF YOU ARE NOT INVOLVED. Message me or go on Anon if you have a comment about a thread.

V. Personals, do not reblog my OOC posts (unless tagged 'Charmed' or 'Chris Halliwell'), headcanons, drabbles, and roleplays. Doing so once will result in a warning. If it happens again, you will be blocked.

Regarding NSFW content:

NSFW material (gore, violence, blood, etc.) may happen on this blog. However, please let me know if you want to smut with Chris before we add it in a thread. I tag NSFW and trigger warnings as such. I do use Read Mores for smut on this blog. I'm also perfectly fine with doing a fade-to-black.

I don’t have any triggers; however, threads with suicidal themes, self-harm, and sexual assault on my muse make me extremely uncomfortable. Please discuss it OOC first.

I will not RP smut with minors. (This should be pretty self-explanatory.) If you are a minor and want to RP smut with me, I will do a fade-to-black.

I am of age to RP smut, as is my muse; however, I play Chris as being grey-asexual. He does have a very low sex drive, but it's very rare that he wants to act on it. (That being said, he is fine with both men and women.)

God-modding

Basically, don't do it. If you want specifics, this includes:

Metagaming (using OOC information in an IC thread).

Killing off my muse

Forcing history on my muse

Forcing a ship

Speaking for my muse

Describing my muse’s thoughts or emotions

Doing an action for him

Forcing a situation upon him without giving me, the mun, a chance to respond.

Doing ANYTHING for my muse

Having your muse know mine when they’ve never interacted.

In short, you write your muse and let me write mine.

GUIDELINES

I. This blog is multi-verse, multi-ship, and selective.

II. I track the tag #twicebornwitchlighter.

III. Mun's FC is Sally McKnight (aka Thorn) from the Hex Girls as she appears in Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost.

IV. On my writing style: I use sentences, paragraphs, one-liners, and gifs/icons/icon gifs. If you don’t use icons, gifs, or one-liners, that’s fine. I’m okay with just writing sentences/paragraphs. Basically, I tend to use everything and my style can be rather fluid as a result.

V. My portrayal of Chris is taken mainly from the TV series and is very heavily headcanon-based. I do not read the comics, but I do consider the tie-in novels to be canon to the TV series.

Interacting

I. If you come to me with an rp idea, I request that you write the starter. Please don’t ask me to write it. In addition, do NOT come into my inbox with "Hey, wanna rp?" or "Can we rp?" and not have an idea for what you want to roleplay.

II. I prefer to use the IM messaging system solely for OOC chatting and plotting. I won’t role-play or respond IC over the messaging system.

III. I will not tolerate hate directed at me or my partners. Anon hate will be deleted or responded to IC (if it is directed at my muse), and I am not responsible for my muse’s actions.

IV. I do not smut out of the gate, with a couple exceptions: (1) It has been plotted out with the other mun; (2)  it has reached that point in a thread where both muns feel it is appropriate.  

V. I do not roleplay with muses that have no bios or rules pages. I also do not roleplay with cartoon/anime muses (unless they have a faceclaim), self-inserts, YouTuber faceclaims, and Mary-Sues.

OCs / Crossovers / AUs

I. I am willing to crossover with the following fandoms: 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

Teen Wolf 

Shadowhunters/The Mortal Instruments  

Witches of East End 

The Vampire Diaries  

The Secret Circle 

Wizards of Waverly Place  

Ghost Whisperer

If I am not familiar with your fandom, I will not write with you.

II. On OCs: I am extremely wary and selective when it comes to playing with OCs. I won’t always say no, but I won’t always say yes either.

For OCs (and all potential partners), I check out the bio page, rules/guidelines, and read some posts to see if our writing styles will click and if your muse will be a good foil for mine. I’ve had a few bad experiences in the past with OCs, so please respect this. (This also goes for Phoebe and Cole's unborn son.)

I will not roleplay with OCs if

there is no about page

they are a next gen sibling to Chris (my Chris has zero right to regard your muse as his brother/sister/half-sibling/step-sibling)

their sole existence is to be in a romantic/sexual relationship with Chris (or it is part of your OC's backstory that they are in an established relationship with him when we have never interacted). I am not writing Chris solely so your muse can get laid by a pretty witch.

III. All that being said, I do love OCs and AU muses. Hit me up.

Shipping

I. I ship Chris with chemistry. That’s it. However, I do headcanon him as a demiromantic grey-asexual—he has a very low sex drive and will have sex if it is what his partner wants, but he rarely feels sexual attraction. It will also take a long time for him to fall in love with your muse.

II. Don’t assume relationships. Do not assume my muse is best friends with yours, knows who your muse is, that your muse is an acquaintance of or related to Chris, or that they are in a romantic/sexual relationship. The only time this is okay is if your muse is one of the Halliwells or a character Chris has met in-canon. (Even then, I am extremely selective when it comes to Halliwell muses.)

III. Related to the above, do NOT force a ship. If your muse makes sexual advances towards Chris and he shuts them down, do not have your muse continue to pursue him. It is okay if your muse falls in love with him, but he is under no obligation to return your muse’s affections. Also, PLEASE talk it out with me first if you want to ship your character with Chris—and keep in mind that I have every right to say “No” to a particular ship.

IV. I do not write incest or mpreg.

V. Again, I am not here solely to write smut. If that's all your muse wants Chris for, then it would be best if you found someone else.

VI.  All ships are independent of each other, so Chris is not cheating on anyone. That being said, the set ships I have for Chris are the following:

Chris/Bianca

Chris/Morgan

Chris/Mon-El

Chris/Jace

DISCLAIMER

I am not associated with The WB, Charmed, or Drew Fuller in any way, shape, or form. Nor do I own the character of Chris Halliwell. This is just a roleplay/ask blog for fun.

Most icons are from hunts done by charmedindiehelp (found here). I also make my own icons. Gifs and all the background images seen on this blog are my own. That being said, it's best not to take anything you see on this blog.

My version of Chris is TV and heavily-headcanon based. I do not take the comics as canon, nor will I accept the upcoming reboot as canon (if anything, it will be in an alternate universe from this blog). My anti-reboot tag can be found here.

MUN

Call me Jess. Timezone is MST, USA. I'm a 20+-year-old undergraduate student, so I will not be on Tumblr all the time. This is also not my only RP blog.

English is my first language. I know a little bit of Spanish and am an intermediate German speaker/writer (I've been learning German for 4+ years). Sometimes I may lapse into Standard German (code-switching is a problem for me, since I'm at the point where the languages are clashing in my head). If I do, forgive me and I'll provide a translation.

Mutuals can contact me on Skype.