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#like i dont think anyone ever told him all the info
disregardcanon · 1 year
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you know how in amc iwtv louis thinks lestat killed his brother but never brings it up until after they've been broken up for a while and louis and claudia are setting up conditions for letting lestat back into their lives? and how louis didn't bring it up because he couldn't bear to think about how his husband probably killed his beloved brother?
yeah, that's nattravis going into season 2
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WIBTA if i warned interviewees/incoming potential employees at my job that it sucks here and also they wont earn any commission pay?
I work in an auto shop and the estimators' pay is a base flat rate plus commission based on how much the shop earns each week. If we dont earn enough in a week for them to earn commission, they still get the flat base pay but they're basically in debt to the company and will not earn commission until that bad week is made up for (so if profit was 50% of budget one week, if we hit 150% the next week that balances out and he hasn't earned any commission. To earn commission that second week we'd need to go over 150%. Multiple bad weeks in a row quickly add up. In theory if someone quits while in the hole they would owe money from their paychecks back to the company). We currently have one estimator and he earns a bit of commission most weeks, nothing crazy. In the past we'd had two for several months and they were both in the red nearly the entire time because (potential) commission earnings had to be split between them (based on the jobs assigned to them), and after going back down to one estimator it took a month and a half for him to dig out and earn commission again.
My manager thinks we need more help on the admin side of the shop again and is trying to hire a second estimator. I work the front desk and overhear them explain the commission in interviews, acting as if they'd earn any. Me, our current estimator, and a few of the techs all think we'd benefit more from hiring a dedicated production manager instead, because we (me, estimator and general manager) currently all juggle the typical production manager job duties, which results in those things often getting done poorly, slowly, or not at all. It seems the current bone being picked is we need to write more estimates to pull in more work, but i handle the schedule (very difficult & fickle without having someone wholely dedicated to managing production that i can discuss it with...) and i dont think a second estimator is fully necessary for the amount of business we're getting. If our estimator had a little more time on his hands (& got a little more practice/got a little faster, he's still relatively new) him and i could bring in a lot more customers.
In the past, corporate has told us its not possible to have a production manager, however plenty of other locations do have one (this is a very large company) and in fact all of our job training constantly refers to the production manager role, even recently updated job aids. It felt like half my training was "the production manager will do x so that you can use this to complete y". Its simply cheaper for corporate to have two estimators earning 0 commission rather than have one estimator earning commission and someone else on a production manager salary.
Im tempted to find a way to warn incoming estimators about how much it'd suck for them to work here so they dont actually hire anyone while we try again to convince corporate that we need a production manager instead, but we're not sure if our manager is fully against the idea of a production manager or if she just doesn't want to stir the pot with corporate (they're already not in love with her), and without our manager on our side, there's a 0% chance we'd ever get a production manager. I do like our manager besides this, and she's generally usually attentive to employee needs, etc. So i would hate to throw her under the bus or sabotage her in any way, but we simply don't see the logic here.
What are these acronyms?
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aita-blorbos · 1 year
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Aita for trying to kill 5-10 people in order to save myself and one other instead of killing said other?
I (16M) was put into a situation in which me and 11 other people have to solve puzzles and vote each other out (I kinda missed a lot of it tho) but the main thing is that only one person will make it out alive. 
However! I’m not alive anymore! I’m technically a robotic recreation of the real me who died. So theres an exception in which one real, living person can escape with a fake, dead person. 
I got paired up with a girl (17F), I’ll call her “Sam”. And like, I was told that I could survive if I killed her (which to my credit, didnt end up being tootally true) but like. How could I ever kill her. If anyone deserves to live, its her. She’s literally amazing. 
Anyways, I decided to instead try to win through the second manner, so me and her could survive! Obviously the only way to make that work out was to kill everyone else, and she didn’t really want to do it herself so I offered to do it myself! She initially agreed, but later changed her mind. But like, she was just looking out for me and didn’t want me to have to do it all myself, but it really is no problem. 
Unfortunately I only succeeded in killing exactly one person and everyone got pissed (including Sam) because they wanted us all to try to escape together but that’s completely delusional. 
I also tried to trip people while they were fighting a monster robot thing with the hopes someone would die (no one did rip) and knocked out a cop (28M) and planned on killing him at some point but only ended up locking him in a closet, but now I’m about to go do some weird coffin event thing so I cant really do anything about him. 
So now Sam’s mad at me. Idk why tho???? I think she’d probably be mad if she learned about that last part too, but the cop is literally suspicious as hell and idk why she trusts him. And like, she agreed with me originally???? I dont really get why she’s upset?? 
So tumblr, am I reeeally the ah in this situation?
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Now tell me some info and stuff on Chrysta! ((Cherri))
Like was she born there in Santa Carla? How DID she meet the boys? What is her personality like? Is she secretly a vampire?👀
Give me all the info bby gorl I will happily read every little thing🍒🤭
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MJ, YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THAT YOU ASKED!!! 💜💜💜💜
I'll gladly tell you... In the form of an infodumping 6 hour essay-/JJ
BUT ON A SERIOUS NOTE... This might be a bit long, but I'll gladly share~!! Thank you so much for asking eheheheh 😈😈😈😈 I'm also using this ask to Ramble, so I'm so sorry YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ MY 'LONGER THAN THE BIBLE' POST 💀💀
Chrysta wasn't born in Santa Carla, but she's been coming to live with her aunt (mother's side) every summer since she was around seven, so she's always considered herself a local- the same goes for other residences who know her well. She lives way back in good old Utah when during the school year and other seasons. With her father and his wife, after her mom was put in the hospital due to some health issues. But she tries to call her mom every night.
Chrysta's summer home is along the small strip of stores near the boardwalk, where her Aunts house is a makeshift hair and nail salon.
The front is the whole workplace, while a hall separates the rest of the house- and upstairs basement made into Chrysta's room. Chrysta also grew up getting to know Mister Emerson well as when she was around nine her aunt had sent her over to the old man's house to give him some home-cook meals as a thanks for a favor Chrysta was never told- kept secret from her.
And ever since she was kind of a delivery girl for her aunt - if of course she didn't hate it, she enjoyed Mister Emersons company and his silly stories about vampires.
Sure it was definitely something that made ten year old her hide under the covers with a flashlight every night, but the older she got, the more she began to outgrow the fear over something so ridiculous- especially with her aunts rules and stories. She wasn't allowed to even be out on the boardwalk by the time the sun set.
Her curfew was always Eight on the dot, not allowed outside or to invite anyone in. No matter how many times she asked for a genuine answer, her aunt would always say the same thing: "That's when the vampires come out to play."
Of course Chrysta is a teenager in the 80s, and she wants to live her summer days to the fullest, so she usually waits till her Aunt retires to her bedroom to watch soap operas, and sneaks out her room window and goes to have a night out on the town... That's how she met the boys. 👀👀
Since the beginning of the summers, Chrysta had been visiting Santa Carla, and she had already built her reputation of being a drop-dead flirt and total tease. She knows how to sweet talk herself out of a situation or to get a free bite to eat. Of course, even if she's built the label for herself, she isn't cruel or bratty.
She's a total sweetheart! Chrysta seems to get along with many if they're willing to be friendly back of course and even if she isn't best friends with anyone, she's at least a little acquainted or on good terms with most.
So, being the little tease that our Miss Campbell is, Chrysta met the well-known trouble makers of the boardwalk back at the beginning of the summer 87... Er, well, sort of.
(SPOILERS FOR THE LOST BOYS PREQEUL SCRIPT YOU CAN READ FOR FREE HERE!)
Also, wanna write a story or make a comic about how she meets them and her whole backstory, but I'm still thinking about it, but here's the basic outline!
Chrysta is a part of the extremely distant Russian descendant on her mother's side. Yet her face is the spitting image of the princess Anastasia David had fallen for many years ago... It was what had gotten the bleached haired individual and the rest of his motley crew to keep staring at the stranger and her friends standing afar.
It wasn't until Chrysta's friends had whispered to her about the watchful eyes of the boys all perched on their bikes Chrysta had looked back to fully face the four. Eyes locking with the pair of cold blue ones.
As confident as she had been labeled, she immediately brought her gaze shyly to the ground, excusing herself from her friends and disappearing into the busying crowds along the boardwalk. Moments later, the four boys followed after, leaving their bikes parked outside the video store.
And the pursuit continued for a while, stalking and searching through crowds, picking out anyone who looked similiar to the strange, familiar stranger, and when they had found her once more, she had looked back to see them following, only to hurry off and away from their eyesight again.
And it was only after Chrysta had disappeared through the door of the salon she worked at, giving one final expecting glance toward the four vampires they realized something.
She wasn't running away. She was playing hard to get.
So the game of cats and mouse continued almost routinely every night she snuck out, no matter where she was, they'd be there a moment or two later, somtimes vice versa.
And it wasn't until one night Chrysta had decided to hide away inside the video store she'd ACTUALLY meet David, Marko, Dwayne, and Paul. She'd been sneaking around trying to avoid them in the store, peeking around aisles and walking into the next one when they would go to the one she was in- just stupid cheesy cute stuff like that that .awesome me squeal and roll around giggling.
Chrysta does finally get trapped when David and Dwayne cut her off on the opposite side of the aisle, Mark and Paul, on the other, leaving her nowhere to go.
She did talk to them and finally got some names, pulled on her charm, ect- overall playing along and enjoying the company of these new strangers... Until Max had shown up, assuming the the boys were bothering her and tried to get them to leave, thankfully Chrysta explained they weren't doing any harm and made sure to keep their case clean in front of the Video store owner.
Reluctantly, he believed her, but told them to leave as he'd told them multiple times not to come around here anymore.
As a thanks for sticking up for them, David offered her a ride on their bikes, just to check out the boardwalk and beach. Just 'one' ride.
Chrysta was a little unsure at first, like those stoies or cliches of the girl running away on the back of a boys bike. But after some convincing at playful peer pressure from the rest if them, she decided why not. A little rebellion never hurt anyone!
Right?
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ANYWAY HERE SHE IS IM SORRY I RAMBLED BUT THIS IS MY BOO IN ALL HER GLORY!!!
You can also see her ref sheet for more stuff here!
I hope I answered your questions and let me know if anything wasn't clear enough or you need more specifics!
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blookmallow · 2 months
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y'all ready for some more FALLOUT OC LORE. heres more of. that
this one's uhh. a lot i have a lot of feelings about fallout 4 companions and character dynamics. i dont know why like half of this is just about nukaworld but it is
startin off with some picrews (and a dollmaker. and a canon image)
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Ruby Rockett - Sole Survivor of 111
Nicknames: "Bullseye" (The Railroad. canon). "Blue" (Piper. canon. She hates this. I want her to have a really snarky counter nickname for Piper but I can't think of anything. maybe "Batter" because she lives in a baseball stadium but that doesn't seem rude enough lmao). "Ru" (headcanon, mostly Deacon and Hancock. deacon started it. hancock picked it up from him. macready tries to use it sometimes but it always feels awkward when he does it, somehow).
Hates being called "the Vault Dweller." she never lived in the vault. as far as her conscious experience goes, she was only trapped there long enough to watch her husband die.
"Rockett" isn't her real last name. she picked it up as a nickname that eventually became the surname she goes by, due to her hobby of collecting red rocket toys and her love for nuka cherry
doesn't really like being called "General" and prefers the minutemen just use her name (though "general rockett" does sound pretty cool). She mostly tolerates it, but does get irritated if she's discussing something personal with Preston and he uses "General."
ruby is mildly triggered by being called "boss" after nukaworld (once had an argument with gage over the title even before everything went wrong, accusing him of not actually knowing her name. he did, but refused to stop anyway)
headcanons on companions and nicknames:
deacon doesn't bother to use her codename anymore unless desdemona is around. usually calls her "ru" which led to her calling him "dea." he once joked they should have a kid and name it rudy
deacon never told her his real name, and she assumes she'll never know. she doesn't really care, though. as far as she's concerned, whatever name you ask to be called is your name and that's all that matters
ruby has never felt quite right calling hancock by his name; innuendo jokes aside, "hancock" sounds too formal, but "john" just feels wrong entirely. she also doesn't know or care to know what his real name is if he doesn't care to share it. mostly just calls him "honey" or similar terms these days and it makes him feel soft
curie had a hard time breaking her habit of calling ruby "madame" or "miss ruby" at first, and has now settled mostly into "my darling" (ruby's very polyamorous ill get into that later)
codsworth still calls her "miss ruby" - shaun (synth shaun.) calls him "uncle codsworth" which utterly delights him
ruby uses preston garvey's first name, not his last name. he usually calls her by first name, but does also call her "General" at times. she doesn't love it but doesn't usually mind too much
genuinely finds Piper's "Blue" nickname extremely offensive. the vault may have saved her, but it was never her home. it's the place she was trapped and forced into cryostasis. the place where her husband was murdered. the place her son was taken from her. nobody ever "dwelled" there other than the scientists trivializing the rights and human dignity of her family and friends, and now it's nothing but a tomb. piper's decided to nickname her after the worst moment of her life and it's Not Cute (seriously is anyone else bothered by this. the game never gave me any opportunity to call her out on it so i dont know if she would stop if this was explained to her but it seems like an awful thing to do to someone. it would make sense for the fallout 3 protag but the fallout 4 protag never actually was a vault dweller)
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current plot status: Completed main storyline (Railroad and Minutemen) and a ton of sidequests. Completed Nuka World (played along until the raiders started moving in on the commonwealth, then i just. went open season on them).
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Faction Info:
Minutemen: The General. Has supported them and fought with them from day one; she was initially hesitant about accepting the position of General, but has come to embrace it. Believes in their cause and supports them proudly. Close friends with Preston.
The Railroad: Agent Bullseye. Became a passionate ally and freedom fighter from the moment she ran across them in the old north church. Considers them like family. Very close with Deacon. Was deeply affected by the loss of Glory. Heavily regrets the Institute raid, however; she feels the weight of the innocent deaths and loss of technology and resources on her every single day.
The Institute: Now destroyed, and she feels its her fault, even though she never supported the decision. Briefly worked with them at first in a vain hope that Shaun's offer to hand leadership over to her could be a chance to make amends, to use the Institute's resources for the good of the people and make a real difference in the world. But then it all came crashing down. Never once even entertained the thought of betraying the Railroad, however.
The Brotherhood of Steel: She was neutral toward them (and helped them at the police station, knowing nothing about them other than that they needed help) but had no interest in joining, put off by their culture and beginning to pick up on the hostility from other groups. When they raided the Railroad, she was hurt, angry, and confused; she went through with the plot to take down the Prydwen, seeking vengeance, but felt nothing but emptiness and regret after it fell. She can't get the image of a young boy she met during the infiltration out of her head. (( to be honest i didnt know anything about the brotherhood and was completely blindsided by the raid. i didnt even know we were enemies. they killed glory and i dont even know why. ive started following along with some of their quests on another file and it seems like they believe synths should all be destroyed, so i guess that's where the issue was. ))
Nuka World: It's Complicated™️ ruby intended to try to get the raider city under control, maybe create some kind of peace, negotiate with them. i did nuka world right after the fall of the institute so this would've been right after she had just tried and failed to do the same thing there. "if they make me their leader maybe i can fix this somehow. maybe i can solve it this time" she accepted her role as "Overboss" for a while, never really favoring any of the gangs (I pretty much gave out territory "fairly" based on who i thought would be best for that area. pack gets the zoo obviously, and the wild west. operators get the bottling plant since they'd manage it best, and nuka galaxy. disciples got kiddie kingdom bc it was funny. i didn't have any more zones to give out, i didn't specifically choose to slight them). things got out of hand and she ended up taking them all out in the end. more on that later. anyway i guess the answer here is "Briefly, overboss of every raider gang equally, until she killed everybody instead. the end"
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Family: son Shaun (the first; deceased, illness and/or uh, explosion. canon). son... Shaun (the second. synth. canon. his future is uncertain, as he presumably won't age, but then, neither will his second mom Curie). Ruby's parents died in the bombings. I haven't given as much thought to her backstory as I did for Bonnie but I feel like she had a brother. Codsworth is also family to her.
Partner/s: Former husband Nathan (deceased, murdered. canon). wife Curie (dating in-canon, i hc they were married in diamond city. i think it would be a cute parallel to the other robot wedding i helped cause there). boyfriend Hancock (canon, i hc that curie has known about this from the start and is fine with it). Nick Valentine is her "one that got away" - she has wanted him for years, and he's aware, but does not return the feelings. Still close friends. (ill never forgive you bethesda i need him so bad) also has a weird relationship with deacon. i feel like there's a "makes out with you. as a friend" vibe going on there but i dont know if it ever happened. i cant figure deacon out and i know that's exactly how he likes it
Found Family: all her companions are like family to her. especially close with deacon and preston. thinks of kent like a little brother, despite him being much older than her (edit: actually it just occurred to me that he might not be. we dont know how old he was when the bombs hit but i guess they're both at least 200 years old now. but kent consciously lived those years while ruby sorta skipped them so i guess hes still older)
loved glory like a sister.
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Future: does not have any more children. dies young, certainly protecting someone. dies a hero, and is remembered as a legend. it's a BIG funeral. i dont know if synth-shaun will age, but curie, hancock, and nick will still be there for him if not.
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Major Injuries: Has burn scars all over from fights and reckless use of explosives/fire weapons. (I don't know what after effects she might have from the cryostasis but I feel like there should be something. in any case she certainly has trauma around being too cold or feeling trapped/feeling like she can't move.) (I also want her to have a significant injury from the Nukaworld revolution. im thinking about maybe she winds up with a prosthetic leg)
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Favorite Items: Nuka cola memorabilia (has a full collection of every available nuka at the red rocket in nukaworld. my pride and joy. i made them All), nuka cherry, bourbon, red rocket toys, baseballs, lunch boxes, plastic pumpkins, med-x on occasion, anything undamaged/clean. Hoards everything. ANYTHING could be useful somewhere. she has personally rebuilt half the commonwealth out of old broken lightbulbs and toasters she dug out of the ruins
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Sarcastic and rough, often hot-tempered, but kind-hearted to the core of her being. Will go to extreme lengths to protect and support others.
used to love working on her car and otherwise tinkering before the war. She now throws herself into fixing, maintaining, and building things to keep busy and avoid processing her emotions
considers herself a junker; collects everything she can get her hands on. loves unusual/interesting objects, and anything that reminds her of life before the war. She is particularly excited by anything that has remained intact - she's adapting well to the junkyard wasteland lifestyle, but something about coming across a perfectly pristine, untouched shiny metal can makes her very happy
Prone to emotional outbursts (usually manifesting as anger) - she hasn't been able to come to terms with everything, and mostly copes with it by Not Coping With It and violent denial until it explodes out somewhere. Some part of her feels intensely guilty; she likes the post-apocalyptic life. She finds it fulfilling to support the settlements across the Commonwealth, she's damn good with a gun, and always yearned for the kind of devil-may-care adventure and freedom she has now. She loved her husband, but never really wanted the domestic life in the first place.
i think her whole life Before was just sort of following the steps of what you're "supposed" to do. nathan asked her out, he was nice, she liked him well enough, so she said yes. they had been dating for a while, he proposed, and there was no reason not to - getting married and settling down was just what people do, so she did. the wedding was fine. she got pregnant not by plan, but hadn't really been putting a lot of effort into avoiding it, either, and again, having kids is just what you do. she didn't hate it. she didn't resent any of it. but none of it was what she really and truly wanted out of life.
was a punk motorcyclist as a teenager and is returning to her roots quite a bit now
Mostly considers Diamond City her home now. she loved baseball before the war, so it feels very nostalgic to her. she helped establish sanctuary hills, and it is technically her home town, but the memories were too much for her to bear. she lived there for a month or so at first - in a shack she built for herself, refusing to go in her old home and feeling uncomfortable living in the big house with the others. She still stores most of her supplies there, and visits often, but doesn't consider it her home anymore. she has since boarded up her old house, so no one, including herself, can go inside it again.
Nick Valentine was the first person she opened up to after everything happened. he was the only person she had met in this new world who could even begin to understand how she feels (except for codsworth, of course). She had - and still has - deep feelings for him, but when she tried dropping hints, he would always very politely and gently change the subject. whether he isn't interested or just doesn't think it would be a good idea, she doesn't know, but respects the boundary anyway. they do have playful vaguely flirtatious banter now and then, though. if he ever said the word, she'd be there immediately. (this is my best attempt at coping with the game not letting me have him, it makes sense but it still makes me sad. unfair)
Fell in love with Curie almost immediately, but she did admittedly rush into the relationship; the way she felt with Curie felt better than she ever thought she could feel again, and her flirting got the best of her. they still love each other very much, but largely have their own lives. Curie has found a place for herself establishing a clinic at the Castle, and while she does still travel with Ruby some of the time, she tends to worry and fuss over her too much, so they've agreed it's best to allow each other their space sometimes.
macready absolutely will not stop bringing up the romance option conversation with me so im interpreting that as he has a huge crush on ruby and she's Very Aware but just kind of ignores it. he knows she's not into him but keeps hoping he'll get lucky anyway. they're good friends though
besties with strong. this terrifies and confuses absolutely everybody but she would trust him with her life
((The Nukaworld Saga))
After the fall of the Institute, Ruby stuck around a while as the dust settled, but everyone could tell she wasn't doing well. going through the motions, numbing herself to the world, drinking more, not coping. desdemona encouraged her to take some time to process and to heal. ruby tried to focus on spending time with shaun jr., trying to let it all go and allow herself some happiness, but curie and preston could tell she wasn't okay
ultimately she decided she needed to get away for a while; out of the commonwealth, away from it all. She heard stories that Nukaworld was still standing, out there somewhere, and went on an expedition with Deacon to find it and see what was left of it. she had always wanted to go, back in its time, and thought it might be the perfect opportunity to get her mind off things for a while
they never imagined what they would find there - a whole city of raiders. Deacon stuck around for a while, and they had a grand old time exploring nuka town. but Ruby had been claimed as Overboss, and the whole thing got to be a lot more complicated than just an urban exploration trip. Deacon decided to leave, confident that ruby could handle herself, but a little worried she was in over her head and might not know when to back out. They parted ways amicably, and ruby promised to come back as soon as she could if she got any alerts from the settlements (i headcanon the in-game alerts are on the pip-boy, i dunno if that's how it's intended but that makes sense to me)
nobody saw her again for months. Nukaworld became her life for a time. She got lost in it, blind with confused trauma and tangled morality after the Institute - the surreal nature of seeing nukaworld destroyed and overrun with raiders made her lose her grip on reality a little bit, no longer sure what was real or what was right or wrong. At some level she hoped maybe she could do some good somehow, unite the gangs, bring peace, at least get them all to stay out there in the park and out of trouble...
but it all went too far. She went along as backup on an Operator expedition, only to find them shooting at Railroad agents. she hid, refusing to fight her own people, but also unwilling to admit the truth to Gage (she was never close with him, but he stuck by her through the whole park). she realized she was acting like a coward. she was only making these gangs stronger, and helping them spread more violence. she started looking for a way out.
When shank told her it was time to move in on the commonwealth, ruby realized she was in way too far - she couldn't keep up the charade any longer. the time had come to burn it all down.
she went out to the commonwealth and picked up Strong - didn't tell him what she did. just told him she needed a whole mess of people dead. together, they killed every last raider in Nukaworld. she found gage injured amidst the chaos, and tried to convince him to come with her, do some good in the world, but he shot her in the leg instead. she killed him and dumped his body in the pond, never truly forgiving herself for it. ((i wasn't intending to kill him, but there didn't appear to be any way to talk him out of fighting, and apparently after he turns hostile he still is considered a companion so like. strong couldn't kill him. i had to do it myself))
After getting the power plant up and running, ruby went back for deacon, and finally had the vacation they had hoped for - exploring the park, just messing around and having some fun for a change. along the way, ruby finally opened up about what happened out there. she at last agreed to say goodbye to nukaworld and come back to the commonwealth.
After Nukaworld, Ruby spent a lot of time returning to the settlements, trying to repair things and make up for lost time. ((i missed a Lot of settlement attacks... i didnt want to go back until i finished the dlc,, )) She brought Hancock along with her, as his relaxed presence calmed her. She never felt judged with him, even in her darkest moments. over the course of this excursion, they unexpectedly entered into a surprisingly passionate affair. ((this is. exactly how it happened i never planned to romance him on this file i just started spending a lot of time with him and when the romance option came up i couldn't say no lmao)) (note in my headcanon they're open about this, curie has known from the beginning. i think the terms of their relationship have always been fluid and open. deacon is oddly jealous, however)
the new flame did wonders to help ruby recover from her recent trauma, and she finally began to heal. i think probably she loves curie immensely but feels like she can't really talk to her about some things. she worries too much. anything ruby's seen or done, hancock has probably seen worse. he's more than rough enough to handle it, but also empathetic enough to understand. he allows her a space to express all that without worrying about scaring him or getting a lecture for the ungodly dangerous things she's done
started casually doing chems with hancock when they got close; ruby was concerned about what it would do to her at first, but felt safe trying them with him. she isn't a heavy user, but has tried a little of everything. enjoys med-x and daytripper now and then, with the occasional mentat. wouldn't lie if pressed on the subject, but mostly just keeps this habit between her and hancock, and doesn't want preston or curie to know about it.
once punched someone out for calling hancock a feral. he was extremely turned on by this ((this happened in that one vault people are still living in. the impulse to kill that guy was so strong but i didnt actually punch him bc i didnt want the whole vault to turn hostile on me forever. i did it in my mind though))
against all odds and logic, found X6-88 wandering the wastes alone after the fall of the Institute. he greeted her as if nothing had happened, like he had no idea anything was wrong, though he vehemently deflected any attempt to ask what he was doing out in the middle of nowhere by himself. he seems to be suffering from some kind of mental block or amnesia. ruby couldn't bring herself to tell him what happened or to kill him unprovoked, so she is currently hiding him at the boston airport (a settlement i never used so im turning it into a power armor storage/workshop and i built a little shack for him to live in bc i feel bad). she has no idea what to do about this and is shocked he's not yet questioning why they haven't heard from or returned to the Institute in so long. he still talks to her as if she's a top Institute operative. she hasn't been able to find a way to discuss the subject with him, and fears he'll either break down completely, become immediately hostile, or both if he ever figures it out. she just calls him "X."
((i have nO IDEA why he's still alive. i couldn't find him when i was working as a double agent so i never spent much time with him and i assumed he died in the explosion, but then i realized i could use one of the vault terminal things to track companions and figured out he was just. out in the world in some random field or something i forget where i found him. i think he's probably supposed to be dead but managed to not be there at the time or something? its really bizarre that the game seems to have no plan for how he responds to your betrayal unless he was supposed to die and just Didn't. im sneaking around exploring stuff with him to try to unlock his companion dialogues to see if anything changes but as of right now i think his existence is glitched and im interpreting it as like, some internal connection to the institute was lost in the explosion so his brain is Malfunctioning and he's in violent denial that anything could possibly be wrong))
((pretty sure danse is dead, though. i never progressed far enough to get him as a companion on this file, i dont remember seeing him on the prydwen when i was sneaking in and i haven't seen him anywhere in the wreckage either.))
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mausarchive · 1 year
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i do not know if it is as popular as i think but the guy who made up the whole fake video game scrimmy bingus thing, his username basically everywhere is utentagen and has been for years so he is extremely easy to find if you want to look him up, and made a common thing for people on this site to make up these dumbass names like glup shitto and blorbo from my shows or whatever is a pedophile and a groomer who groomed me from the time i was 12-14 years old and also told me about having CP on his computer as well as telling me that toddlers gave him erections, etc, among other really horrible shit that i dont want to describe honestly
edit: now he has some internet music thing called dream puzzles that ive seen a lot of young transgender individuals and whatnot interested in, so if you see anything related to that or hear kids talking about it somehow please let them know so they can protect themselves
it sounds absolutely absurd to type out that this unwashed shitgobbler is someone i used to know, but he is lol and as far as i know he's abused multiple girls (when you google his full name, which i wont leave here, you get facebook results from some girl's family saying he abused her emotionally and stole money from her family. im not interested in doxxing anyone or anything but im sure if one looks deeply enough down this dude's rabbit hole they'll easily find it)
anyway that's my info. no i dont have receipts, i was 12 years old and he was extremely paranoid and deleted almost every problematic message he sent me as soon as he would send it because he knew he could get into a whooooole lot of trouble if i ever shared any of it
dont let your young kids use the internet unsupervised, is all i have to say
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itbmojojoejo · 1 year
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Alright, i just finished watching High Life and uhhh yeah, i usually enjoy artsy thrillers etc but i have no idea how to feel about this film. Ewan was fantastic ofc, scary, but brilliant. Mans got talent. More thoughts (major spoilers and mentions of violence included) below the cut cause i need to get them out and have no one to talk about it with. 
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First things first - i would not recommend this film to anyone that is sensitive to seeing any type of violence towards women or perhaps those that are having fertility issues as i know this can be upsetting. i was already aware of the gist of the film before watching so i knew what to expect but what was unexpected is how all those moments and details were actually delivered. 
I am going to praise Ewan for his acting here before i continue on with my WTF WAS THAT thoughts. Everything ive seen him in there has been a very clear if not HUGE difference between all of his characters, that man is NOT a one trick pony at all. He left me feeling freaked out and uncomfortable with Ettore’s brutality. Im very excited to see what else Ewan does in the future because he truly is talented and thats easy to see, especially when you put dear baby monk Osferth next to Aemond, Tom Bennet and Ettore (I have not seen his other works forgive me do not come for me with pitchforks and torches) . Hes managing to provide fully fleshed out and complex characters with a few minutes on screen at a time - this man is not flipping through a script and winging it once hes on set. He is more than just a pretty face to me, i really hope he gets the opportunity for more projects to carry on dazzling us. 
Now onto the film itself - we’re told that every member of the experiment was given a life sentence or  death penalty. That experiment being - “The real goal, the film tells us verbally, is to assess how great levels of radiation impact the human body”
How does Dibs and her little fertility experiment that was further endangering the lives of the women on board fit into this? Whose idea was that? and past the point of early infancy (i.e. the incubator) there seemed to be nothing on board this ship to accommodate a child. Dibs was clearly a convicted killer just like the others had been, she confirmed to Boyse she smothered her own children and used a knife on her husband. Was her clear obsession with Monte all because of his chastity too? and what was her being in the box all about with that furry thing that caressed her??? im confused at that. 
We know that the prisoners files are on board because Willow tells Monte she read his, so if the captain and Dibs knew what crimes people had committed what reason did they have to restrain the women to their beds in unlocked sleeping quarters??? Thats a problem waiting to happen. They could have avoided that whole situation with Ettore. Why were they even restrained in the first place? And why was Nansen in sleeping quarters with the men? Where did Dibs sleep? Did she ever sleep?
I think a little background info on all of the people would have been nice too, nothing big just a little tid bit, we know why Monte was there, we caught a glimpse of the life Boyse had but past the train thingy we dont know what she did. Tcherny mentions he thought joining the experiment would be honourable after bringing shame to his wife and son, and if i hadnt read the plot pre watch i wouldnt of got that he committed suicide (this could be something i’d pick up on with a rewatch but im not sure thats going to happen). And i dont think Nansen,  Mink or Elektra are referred to by name at all??? (again i could of just missed this while questioning wtf i was watching)
Boyse and Monte - what was their little connection that was hinted at all about? the side eyes, she cut him, he punched her, then they held hands??? explain pls.
And if Dibs was so set on having a baby on board why did she then throw herself off the ship? The injuries she got from Mink didnt seem to be life threatening? Did anyone notice that the women had more violent deaths depicted than the men too? What was that ship with just dogs on it about? And lastly - the films ending, did they die? is that what that was???
If anyone wants to chat about this please feel free!
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pasharuu · 1 year
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welps, since i got a little skrunkling in form of ararycan, lets talk about him. i hope it'll be a short one. (spoiler: no)
also to those who bumped onto my post in their or someone else's dash somehow: english is not my first language. so be ready for numerous "memories" and "forget" cuz my vocabulary is thin just like that. and some other weirdness of course.
first of all, i hate the dottore clone theory with every single cell in my body, and i want you to know that if you like it i dont care, so neither should you care about me hating it. im only speaking opinion here.
and also this is rather my headcanon just not to stay alongside with the mystery while theres a dottore theory around. i honestly dont believe in dottore theory, but i still cant prove it wrong properly due to lack of info, and that annoys me. but this headcanon doesnt attempt to debunk the theory somehow, these are just two completely different things not worth comparing.
but rlly, did anyone on that planet at least once look at ararycan's leaves more than once? cuz it feels like no one knows what is the form of the pattern. the theory followers say these are circles, on my plush these are rounded diamons. wtf dear fellow folks.
the headcanon is trying to explain ararycan's memory loss, as there is no information about this in the game. traveler and paimon just decide that "welp, aranara are forgetful sometimes" though its not really true, but its really odd of them to leave us on this cliffhanger. i once said that aranara never forget stuff unless they meet some certain condition. i didnt explain that well last time so lemme speak a word (although its gonna be long i fear, so once again, the orange text is not necessary)
in the beginning we were given with the idea that aranara dont forget anything, or at least dont forget anything as easily as we do. this was really the very first fact i learned about them since i found messily written notes very soon after i began my first walkthrough of aranyaka (funfact: in russian localization its not clear who is the author of these if you only see the first set of it, and i definitely remember that i was not able to read the next page at a place, so i bet i found it even before meeting arama in the very first time. i also found it in the second time only after completing the entire questline so imagine my face at that moment), and author of the notes says that he doesnt forget things easily, but still decides to make records because its fun to do. basically saying that these lads dont ever need to record things up cuz they remember it all by themselves.
then, during the part where we help guys in mawtiyima forest, we were told about the inscriptions on the walls. aragaru says that these are made only for humans, because aranara will not forget, while people have all the possibility to. all the other inscriptions on walls, if we keep the spoken idea in mind, are clearly made for humans as well. the only weirdness in this part is inscriptions in old vanarana, cuz the only one who needs these during the quest is arama, and its not really clear who these were written to in the first place. but we still cant say these were definitely written for aranara, or maybe i need to research more.
the events of agnihatora sutra and vimana agama are the ones that made people think that aranara are forgetful. the second one is the mystery we are trying to solve in this article, but the first one told you everything you need, but its absolutely understandable if you didnt get it in the first time (neither did i if u wonder). in agnihatora sutra the three are aware that the thing theyre going to commit is gonna make them forget everything, so they were hinting it for us carefully, yet not saying directly that they will forget us. in the very end of this questline they tell us about the sacrifice they're going to commit, and that sacrifice is actually their memories, even though its not shown on screen, unlike the sacrifice of arana's memories to get the bija. that is why we were later told that these guys dont emember us while everyone else do.
also there's the fact araja troubles to remember the events of the past, but this dude actually grew into a tree, and just like i said in the cinnamon arama article, that might be the reason of his memory loss. araja also didnt forget everything that he had expirienced before he became a tree, as sometimes he still recalls to some things as his own memories.
after all, aranara gain actual power with memories and it would be weird if you'd randomly forget stuff and lose yo power just like that. they cherish memories more than anything, either these are good or bad, and the idea of forgetting is terrifying to them (the most memorable to me was the moment when arama complained about alcohol cuz it makes people forget stuff. paimon said that sometimes there are things people want to forget, but arama was still negative about that). well, actually there is a thing they cherish more. this thing is called "friendship", and the idea is that even if you forget something, there will be friends who'll remind you, so thats why they are more dear to aranara, even more than the memories. this is as well the idea of "the forest will remember" thing, cuz aranara are friends to all the plants, animals, some humans and each other, so theres just no possibility for the entire forest (all of these things) to forget something. but that still doesnt remove the importance of memories cuz these are power and these are memories, it'll take a lot of time to gain them back, so losing them is only worth when its absolutely necessary. also remember that stories and memories are not the same, so just summarizing things up to someone wont work.
and that concludes my orange explaination, now back to vimana agama mystery!!!!
so my take is that ararycan mustve sacrificed his memories for something. if we'll try to recreate the chronological order of the events of the past, we'll see that aralohita, who possibly was some sort of a buddy to ararycan, disappears after ararycan lost his memories. or if he lost part of them, its possible that aralohita disappeared prior to that. both versions explain why ararycan still remembers the solution to aralohita's riddles.
ararycan once says that he was the one who brought the ruin golem part into the secret cave, but for now he doesnt seem to be as strong, he rather acts like a very brave weakling. as we know, aranara gain power with memories, so no wonder ararycan is a weakling now, not remembering everything. but still, his awareness about some things looking familiar makes me think that he might have lost part of his memories, but how come?
we know that ararycan most likely was the third one alongside royinjan and amadhiah in the past, so all the vamadhas, including the one that was sealing the secret base, most likely were set after the childhood of the two, which means that might happened not too long ago. that might line up with a fact that pir kavikavus accident happened around the same time, because vamadhas were obviously set for reason. i recall ararycan saying that vamadhas are set when aranara dont want nara to enter some certain places, but says that he doesnt know who set these. so i think that actually could be ararycan, but since he lost his memories, no wonder he doesnt remember about it. and so uh, setting these could be resulted in memory loss as it might take some power. he probably did know that amiti device might be used for no good by some foes, so vamadhas are only set in places that either have amiti device fragments in them or places related to it somehow (and nowhere else, by the way, so vamadha is for sure some kind of ararakalari that both ararycan and aralohita used to wield). we can see the direct memory loss from using ararakalari in case of arama, when the one hit one of ruin guards really hard and returned back to goofy. we dont know how the memories amount needed to do some action is measured, but if we connect the dots, it all seems possible.
the only question left is why the heck did ararycan move the detail into the cave and the answer is i dont know. it was def moved before the cave was sealed since roy (seemingly) confirms this place not changing at all since he was a kid, and probably even before the kids found this cave because otherwise someone said something like "dude, i recall this place empty, but then somehow this huge detail appeared here, no clue how tho i dont remember". but why did ararycan move it there is forever a mystery it seems, unless aralohita is confirmed to be his accompany most of the time and prolly found alive ofc. aralohita might say something about it in that case, unless he forgot everything as well. but its all just my silly wishes.
also arama, while summarizing the places we shall visit, says that ararycan may know something about the sus person we were looking for. ararycan later confirms he used to help kids in vimara village cuz arana asked him, but thats all he says, none of details were thrown after that. his wording that marana avatar is capable of the trouble feels weird, but marana avatar to aranara is many things, not only the actual marana avatar, so he could be calling fatui like that. i now think that ararycan could possibly help us with finding out who the sus person is but for whatever reason it was cut down by his own troubling.
and i know that at this moment it feels like im just coping but idc. once again, my speculations have nothing to do with the dottore clone theory, its just a thing im rather comfortable with. fact of the day: dottore is my least favorite character in the entire genshin impact (among some that are somehow major) and i'll be quite disappointed if my precious ararycan turns out to be his clone or creation or whatever. i wont argue with it, i'll only throw, tear and murder.
and that concludes my tractate. it took me the whole day to put in words and i feel empty rn, especially since i dont know many words, and if you ever ask me why am i speaking english if i could just use my first language - none of your business. if u ask me why i made this tractate - none of your business. till the next time.
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neon-jackalope · 2 years
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Was requested to do all the numbers by @nicothepico
1. selfie
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2. what would you name your future kids?
Hypothetically i like Athena, Gülben, Reza
3. do you miss anyone?
Some of my siblings
4. what are you looking forward to?
My trip to Washington this summer
5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?
My coworker nate
6. is it hard for you to get over someone?
Used to be. Now i just move forward
7. what was your life like last year?
Stressful
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
Annoyed no
9. who did you last see in person?
My boss
10. are you good at hiding your feelings?
Very good
11. are you listening to music right now?
Yep, tan dun compositions
12. what is something you want right now?
To get railed and some kosher pizza
13. how do you feel right now?
Deeply and woefully depressed 😘
14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?
Uhhhh a couple months ago my mom hugged me when my dad died
15. personality description
Rolf from ed,edd and eddy but make him spooky and jewish
16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?
Yes. Its a daily struggle
17. opinion on insecurities.
Its normal but you should work past them
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?
Absolutely not
19. have you ever been to New York?
Used to live there
20. what is your favourite song at the moment?
Cruel by tori amos
21. age and birthday?
Gregorian july,1st 1992. Hebrew 30th of sivan 5752. Age 30
22. description of crush.
Truthfully like my uncle anush
23. fear(s)
The ocean, jellyfish, arachnids, christmas nutcrackers
24. height
5’10” / 177.8 cm
25. role model
Che guevara
26. idol(s)
Uhhhhh none?
27. things i hate
Cauliflower. Texas
28. i’ll love you if…
You let me info dump and actually take an interest in what im going on about
29. favourite film(s)
10 things I hate about you, the craft, fiddler on the roof, yentl, umma
30. favourite tv show(s)
Inuyasha, naruto, uhh various documentary shows
31. 3 random facts
I assume about me so..
1. I have marfan syndrome
2. Im multilingual
3. I have 14 siblings
32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?
Mostly equal mix at this point, though most of my close friends are neither
33. something you want to learn
How to sing
34. most embarrassing moment
Thats hard because im a fool. Probably when i out of habit from my job, i met newbies in my synagogue and i reached to shake the wifes hand and i forgot she already told me she was shomer negiah
35. favourite subject
Geography
36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?
Spiders crawling out of my mouth
Going back to school and my hebrew teacher speaking to me backwards
Becoming an artist
37. favourite actor/actress
Michelle yeo, melina kanakaredes , parminder nagra.
38. favourite comedian(s)
Kathleen madigan, margaret cho,
39. favourite sport(s)
Soccer/futball. Hockey
40. favourite memory
My summers in cloudcroft
41. relationship status
Classified
42. favourite book(s)
The black tide of heaven by neon yang
43. favourite song ever
Impossible to narrow down to one.
44. age you get mistaken for
I was once told i looked 37 when i was 24 at the time so do with that what you will
45. how you found out about your idol
I dont think I have one
46. what my last text message says
“Also long. And emotional” (recent death stuff)
47. turn ons
Very long list.
48. turn offs
Being conceited. No weird sense of humor. Toe jam.
49. where i want to be right now
British Columbia
50. favourite picture of your idol
Again????
51. starsign
Gregorian cancer, hebrew gemini
52. something i’m talented at
Track and field
53. 5 things that make me happy
Japanese food
Travel
Art
My friends
Lizards
54. something thats worrying me at the moment
Whether or not im about to snap and sling myself off this mortal coul
55. tumblr friends
So many. Just check who i reblog from lol
56. favourite food(s)
Baklava, gözleme, litteh torshi, lamb
57. favourite animal(s)
Bats n lizards
58. description of my best friend
Ethereal, we are not worthy. German
59. why i joined tumblr
Porn and witches
60. ask me anything you want
Well whats your question????
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loud-sturniolos · 5 months
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So I need to ramble about my ex “friend” bc this mf did some horrible shit recently and I have no one to talk to abt it‼️‼️ This is rlly long, and may not make sense, but yk drama is drama, read if u wanna🤷‍♂️ Also, ngl, I’m also toxic in this argument but idc😞‼️
Also I’ve said like a bajillion times but nobody does it; my asks are open for literally anything, like pls talk to me I’m lonely af😞 U can literally ask for drama and I will tell y’all some random ass drama from my life if u want js pls talk to me LMFAO🙏
SOOOOO This kid that I was “friends” with (more like acquaintances, I dont rlly do friends) is such a fucking bitch like if I see him im gonna fucking beat the shit out of him. He messages me like every few weeks out of nowhere about random shit as if we’re friends, so the other day I kinda snapped when he asked “how are you” and i was like “idk why you care, you literally never talk to me at all, you left me on delivered for 3 months when I had nobody then randomly showed up again and tried to act as if nothing happened” and that kinda started an argument but he was to much of a pussy to argue w me😞 (Haven’t had a proper argument in a good while icl). Anyways next day this snapchat accoumt messages me that I’ve had added since december but like idk who it is, they message me w a snap using a random ass filter and the caption “Damien you gave me an eating disorder” so OBVIOUSLY I’m fucking confused asf, bc what?? Who randomly claims someone gave them an eating disorder??? Like especially claiming I gave them one whilst I’m recovering from my own?? back tf up. but anyways im like “wtf, who r u? idk u” and they listed like a few basic things that anybody on my snap knows, and i said anyone would know that, and then this mf bitch goes “Well ik your real parents are druggies” (Long story short, im adopted bc my real mum was addicted to her dads meds, idk abt my real dad) and obviously im like SHOVKED bc i’d only ever told like 4 ppl abt this that I trusted (idrc now tho, ill tell the world tbh😞‼️) so im instantly like “wtf who r u??” and he tries to make a guessing game out of it?? Like what the actual fuck?? Making a game out of my personal life is like a straight up no? Anyways I start yk, stalking n shit bc bro wont tell me who they are and I see their user name has “bl00dy” in, what do I see on my quick add? Ex friends full name, on a different account BUT the username has “bl00dy” in (btw im not like censoring that, thats literally how they spell it in the user💀), so I’m instantly like Who does this ugly mf think they are adding me on a fake account to talk abt my real parents n shit like that, so I head on over to whatsapp bc thats where we message and i send a ss of the fake acc and i say “is this you”, he deny it, I tell him all the proof I have that it’s him (Same hair colour/length from the snap, identical usernames, same humour, same typing style) and he denies it.
Guess who messages me 20 minutes later confessing? he does. If u gonna lie at least keep up the lie like tf? Anyways, he confessed and I was obviously pissed off bc I trusted him with personal info abt my real parents yk?? And I basically tell him he’s a stupid fuck that needs to get a life and he goes “Maybe I went a bit too far.” A BIT?! A BIT TOO FAR?! No mf you went WAYYY too far. Anyways idk what happened adter that part bc whatsapp wont let me back on it bc my storage is HORRIBLE. But I have some screenshots and can remember a bit of it sooo..
Next thing I have is him telling me “Human error is a think yn, you might not be autistic” so obviously I go off at him for that umh.. I wrote a lot so I’ll js put in the screenshot
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so yhh.. that part happened😽
Next thing I have screenshotted pissed me off so much y’all dont understand omg. So first, he called me a high school drop out and called me special n told me i got sent to a “special school”, basically mocking my mental health and autism?? When I tell you I know so much about his trauma, and his mental health that I could have brought up in that argument i swear. anyways, i told him how the school i go to now isnt a special school, and that I didnt get “sent” i literally chose to go there, and also I haven’t dropped out of high school bc im still enrolled in a school??? then he suddenly starts asking me abt what job I wanted to do when I’m older, so I tell him (Child protection officer or a detective) and he starts telling me how 1. I’d probably brag about making a child cry and thats a whole other fucking thing if i went on abt that this would be way too long. and 2. How I can never get the jobs bc I need science. Keep that shit in mind, SCIENCE. He starts telling me abt how to get the job i want, the job i’ve been researching into for 3 years, he js starts telling me abt how ill mever get it. Then he brings up how I need psychology for it. And he says how psychology is a science. When I tell u this mf stupid istg😞 So I have to go explaining to this dumbfuck that i do not, in fact, need a science degree i meed a psychology degree. Then he tries to tell me how detectives use chemicals and stuff and I’m like… you mean the forensics team need chemicals? Bc detectives and forensics teams are two different jobs bae😨.
anywaysss, next thing I have screenshotted is me mocking his dumbass but idk the messages b4 it. but the SS is just this:
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so thats cute. Anyways, the next thing that happened is when I got my older sister involved bc mf should not have brought it up!!
So I told him at some point to sort his memory out bc he was telling me things that didnt happen, then this mf tells me to basically stop being a hypocrite and tells me that the pills im on fucks up my memory. So, then im confused bc.. I’m not on meds? So I’m like “where tf did you get that from? i dont take pills” and this little fucker i swear i will kill him if he comes near me again, he fucking says “You failed an overdose, hence why I thought you took pills”. Who the fuck does this fucker think he is to bring up MY mental health? To bring up MY suicide attempts?!?! Like actually, he can shut right up bc he’s attempted too, so????? Anyways I was like fully gobsmacked rhat this stupid little fuck thought he could bring up my mental health like that, so I gave the phone to my sister bc shes a toxic bitch and she will gladly argue w anyone🤗
Heres a lil list of things I remember happening but don’t remember the whole thing(that dont make sense but oh well):
He brought up (to my sister) that she hangs out with “druggies” (People in her friend group smoke, vape, do ket, and weed etc. but she only smokes and vapes)
He sent a very quickly deleted message that I managed to read that was basically him 1. calling me a she (transphobic little shit) and 2. telling someone else about MY overdose. Honestly💀. Me and my sister know who he was most likely telling anyways bc he only has one friend😽
Anyways rhats all I rlly rememberrrr.. I can probably remember skme other things, or drama that happened before this argument so if you want more of my drama filled life js ask‼️😽
0 notes
garfieldbussys · 6 months
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NO NO NO WHY ARE POLICE AT POLLY HOUSE
NO ARTHUR BABY NO YOURE KIDDING
NOT POLLY NOT MY TWO BABYS WHAT IS HAPPENING I DONT LIKE THIS EP CLO
NO THEYRE TAKING MICHAEL AGAIN
GET YOUR HANDS OFF POLL YOU DIRTY BASTARD
clo what is happening 😔
this is too much i dont like it everyones getting hurt ☹️
YOU DIRTY WHORE YOU LITERALLY FUCKED A PROSTITUTE LAST NIGHT IM GONNA TURN INTO RICK GRIMES AND RIP YOUR THROAT OUT
clo i dont like it
NO ARTHUR WONT HANG I WONT ALLOW IT 🙅‍♀️
DONT TWLL ME THEY TORTURED MICHAEL FOR INFO
this isnt fair ☹️
ADA NO NOT ADA PLEASE 🙏 YOU STUPID IRISH CUNT
GRACE BABY 😍💍 i will meet you bbg 🙏
i dont know how i fwwl about esme tbh shes 🥴
this has all gone to shit 😔
nvm i dont like esme she’s suggesting they go to france as if tommy and john did go and get traumatised i dont like esme no more 🙅‍♀️
pol what are you doing NO NOT THE INSPECTOR POLLY NO TURN AROUND AND GO BACK HOME 🙅‍♀️
GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER YOU DIRTY BASTARD
STOP MANIPULATING HER 🙅‍♀️🙏😔
POL READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH FINE PRINT AND EVERYTHING PLEASE 🙏
I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SO BAD CLOSE IM GONNA DO SO MANY BAD THINGS CRIMINAL MINDS HAS PREPARED MY MIND IM GETTING THE FISTS OUT AND EVERYTHING 👊👊
NO NO NO NO HES UNDRESSING POL NO HES NOT GET OFF HER I WILL FEED YOU TO PIGS ALIVE DONT TEST
NO NO PLEASE PLEASE POL DO NOT 🙏🙅‍♀️🙏🙅‍♀️🙏🙅‍♀️🙏🙏 CLO PLEASE WHEN YOU SAID BAD I DIDNT KNOW YOU MEANT THIS BAD CLO THIS ASTRONOMICALY BAD
CLO HE JUST SLAPPED HER I CANT I CANT I CANT IM GONNA DIE ANYONE BUT POLL
NO CLO THIS IS DISGUSTING IM WATCHING HER GIVE HIM A HANDJOB IM GONNA BE SICK THIS IS THE WORST EPISODE EVER
IM GONNA DIE
its ada adas here my baby
omds they beat the shit out of michael
clo i cannot do this.
THERES STILL HALF AN HOUR LEFT ARE YOU KIDDING RN
oh no they told michael what poll did
NO HE DID NOT JUST CALL IT FUNNY YOURE KIDDING I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM I KNEW IT
i love curly he’s so sweet if anything happened to him i think i would actually pass away
GRACE MY LOVE HEY BABY I MISSED YOU 😍🫶
get rid of that skanky american husband you dont need hom
HAHAH HE JUST THE INSPECTOR HES SLEEPING WITH GRACE IM PISSING MYSELF
i really hope she stays i dont mind grace now clo this is the worst ep ever
what do you mean you’re- NO NO YOU CANT BE TRYING FOR A BABY GRACE NO YOURE LYING
ARTHUR BABE HEY
tell me they arent gonna hang him
tommy PLEASE you have GOT to stop leading women on
anyway bye clo 😔
i told you it gets upsetting
this whole episode is why i hate michael like what polly had to get through to get him out of prison and he looks down upon her like LETS SCRAP MICHAEL IDC
such a traumatic episode and can understand your sadness at the end of this
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harryfeatgaga · 8 months
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Okay so.....I will try to keep it short and simple but no promises 💀 so I work with this couple. And they are ok for the most part (although they do be getting on my nerves quite frequently at work but whatever). But they are always a little too open about their personal lives. Like last year I went to the wife’s b-day party and she got so drunk she started getting all emotional and crying and she spilled all of this info about how they both used to be meth addicts and that the husband was abusive and shit back then 😭😭 they are also very open about how they are bi and polyamorous. Now I am bisexual myself (although I don’t really talk about that shit at work cause I just don’t consider myself that close to my coworkers 😭) and I don’t judge but myself???? Personally????? I just couldn’t be in a poly relationship/throuple. I’m way too jealous of a person honestly.
Anyway, Sunday after work my cousin (who also works at the same place) stopped me and we talked for a bit and she told me someone had a crush on me. Now tbh I kinda already knew this, but it was so much worse hearing it (his random jokes and comments are sometimes too flirty but I usually brushed it off). But she told me the husband has a crush on me............😭🤢🤮 LIKE..........I LIKE TALKING TO THE GUY SOMETIMES BUT I DO NOTTTTT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT AT ALL 😭😭😭 PLUS HE’S LIKE 15 YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND HAS KIDS SO LIKE?????? NO??????????? I REALLY JUST AINT INTO THE GUY LIKE THAT OK PLUS IF IM BEING HONEST HES NOT THAT GOOD LOOKING AND THERE HAVE BEEN A COUPLE OF TIMES WHERE HES GOTTEN TOO CLOSE TO TALK TO ME AND IVE NOTICED THAT HIS BREATH STINKS SO 😭😬💀
Now the wife has never said anything flirty to me or ever given any indication that she likes me like that. And from the way my cousin was talking to me, she ain’t interested in me like that (thank god). Like, we’re coworkers and that’s fucking weird plus again, for me I just can’t do a whole throuple thing or whatever and I have ZERO attraction to the guy 😭💀 and idk it’s just been awkward seeing him at work the last couple of days now but what’s REALLY been bothering me is that he’s basically trying to invite himself along AS MY DAMN DATE to this event that I want to go to with JUST my family and friends. I think he found out about it bc I was (stupidly) talking about it with another coworker who wants to go (not with me though). Idk.......I’m just thinking I should have fucking quit this damn job a long time ago tbh 💀 but I guess the advice I want is HOW TF DO I DEAL WITH THIS?????!?!?!!?!!!!! Like........I want to make it clear in a polite but VERY FIRM way that I am Not Interested™ in him that way 😭 but I’m seriously not a confrontational person.......I don’t want to go to HR cause I’m not trying to make this a whole thing nor do I want anybody to find out it was me who reported this.....I can’t fucking lie and say I already have a significant other bc MY STUPID ASS ALREADY TOLD ANOTHER COWORKER WHO ASKED ME IF I WAS DATING ANYONE THAT I WAS SINGLE........IN FRONT OF HIM!!!!!!! UGGGGHHHH IDK PAIGE I HATE MEN AND I WANNA K*S RN 😭😭😭😓😓😓
Anonymous asked: Me: “I’ll keep it short and simple”
Also me: *sends you a whole ass book*
😭😭😭 IM SO SORRY BUT IM STRESSING HERE A LITTLE BIT 😭😭
OH. MANSDJCNBFHJV I would just straight up ignore them tbh they are just random co workers you dont owe them anything and who cares if you said your single if he or the wife are weird and ask about it just say you have a bf/gf or whatever there not gonna know either way! and just avoid them at all costs as much you can! good luck bestie! I work with a lot of weirdos too I seem to attract them you just gotta void and be stand offish if you have to!
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blackvail22 · 1 year
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9/25/23
10:25am -
i just had my first appointment with my new psychiatrist? i think thats the word. i got diagnosed with BED (binge eating disorder), and ive been saying for YEARS that i had it, and no one would help me. its been 9 years since i first went to a doctor and told them about my eating habits; they didnt help me. i had an obvious ed, and im glad im finally getting the help i need.
my relationship with food is severely complicated. im obsessed with my weight and the calories im intaking, but i cant stop... binging. and the fact i have fat on my body makes me want to throw up, nd every time i notice it, it makes me feel like my insides are being scratched over and over. my fear of purging is the only reason i dont...
a month ago, i was talking with my counselor, and she asked me if ive ever been screened for adhd. i told her no, but i can tell her yes!! my new doctor did a screening thing for adhd, and i have it. shes referring me to somewhere to get a more in-depth test to see what type of adhd and the severeity of it.
i told my mom all of this, and she seemed upset. i dont understand? shes been so rude to me lately... i mean, she always is.. but it feels like she changed? shes so bitter, and shes being like homophobic 😭😭 out of nowhere LIKE WHAT PROMPTED U TO BE LIKE THIS? i SWEAR on everything, being a chronic facebook user ruined her. she wasnt like this before facebook LMAOO shes so sad. but, all well!
im going to try my best to clean my room again. i NEED to get my shit together!! its so embarrassing how messy it is. i have to focus on doing it. i have to do it today; i have no choice!!
10:17pm
news flash: i didnt clean my room. whos surprised? im going to try and get it together before i go to bed because i have to... i have or else ill feel like im letting my boyfriend down lol
yk idk why but being friends and flirting w somsone is so much different than dating them. its insane!
i didnt mention this before but im being put on a different medication that targets bed and adhd and it also helps depression. i have to do a bunch of testing before i take it, though, because its a controlled substance
im afraid of facing my past. i know that i was a fucked up kid, but seeing HOW fucked up i am is... terrifying. like i read through a few of my old roblox messages and woah!!! i was living a double life, holy shit! obvi... i used a fake name, fake age, and some of the stories i would tell belonged to my sister. ill forever be regretful for the way i was back then... it makes me think, though... did i ever really change?
i had this girlfriend named .... lets call her juju. she lived on the other side of my country, and we met because we both ran fan accts for a youtuber on insta. i became ... obsessive? quickly. i feel sorry for her, but i was 12 and she was nearly 16, so... she easily couldve cut me off once she found out my age lmao. idk, i kept trying to find ways for her and i to meet in person because i was so excited to meet her online. she broke up with me, and i made another instagram and pretended to be someone else for a while.... aka i catfished her. i didnt show her photos of anyone else, just used the name "katrina" like i used to. i got her to talk abt her exes and then she talked abt how she recently broke up w someone and how crazy they were. i knew then that my behavior wasnt normal. i didnt understand the boundaries i was crossing.
am i all that different now? i used his snap maps to see when he's at his dad and when hes at his moms or at school. when i planned on moving down there, i looked for apartments that were nearby his primary home. i attenpted to make an acct to pretend i was someone else and see if he would lie to me abt info abt his life. i didnt finish it.... i got like the ick from myself and was thinking abt how crazy i was.
i try my best to not be ... stalker-like. i wouldnt follow someone throughout their day to see where they are, who theyre with. i wouldnt use it to harm him, and if he didnt want to see me or talk to me, i wouldnt force him to by showing up to his house or texting him off the number i give to weirdos.
im getting tired. its 10:37p now, and i keep like closing my eyes every once and awhile inbetween sections.
i think the last thing i feel i need to rant abt is how i told my dad i have binge eating disorder and for dinner when i told him i didnt care what he got me, HE GOT ME FOOD FOR A FAMILY OF 4. he looked me in the eyes and said, "two cheeseburgers, 16 chicken nuggets, 10 cheese sticks, and a milkshake incase u get hungry later" when he KNOWS i have a habit of eating a lot of food in one sitting.
i feel gross from how much i ate today, and im still wanting to eat more.
being told "u can reverse everything thats wrong w you if u just lost weight!" and then having those same people ENFORCE ur unhealthy eating habits is insane
like, do u rlly want to help me? or do u want to just berate me for the hell of it?
okie song song time
this song is so ... relateable. typical pop song but its so good 2 me
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woosbiter · 1 year
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... Oh wow, um, okay. Gimme a second to process all of this-
Okay, second over
I never knew such a thing was happening to you, and involving people important to your loved ones too... Im sorry you had to go through that baby, im so so glad things with Sunghoon are resolved now and Jake is warming up to you a little :( though if anyone ever has a problem with you ever again I will not be tolerating it
⁉️ Oh? Engaged and with a kid on the way? Oh wow! Thats big news! Im gonna personally congratulate the happy couple once I meet them~ But youre not that old, you know~ If you are, that must mean Im ancient... Though I can confidently say that even when youre 70 and all wrinkly, you’ll still be the prettiest girl Ive ever laid eyes on~
A dress and a suit? Okay, I can do that... though it may be a little difficult because I think you’ll look good in anything you try on. I’ll try my best though~ I- She does? Really? :0 I-I dont know what to say, im touched, she hasn’t even met me yet... Are you sure she’s sure?
I also didn’t know you were still in contact with Heeseung, but dont worry, that doesn’t make me uncomfortable. He’s your kids’ dad, they must want him in their lives, and im not going to get in the way of that. I trust you and I trust that he’s aware of my existence in your life and can respect that. In fact, im really glad he was there for you while you talked to Sunghoon, im sure you mustve really needed the support and im sorry i wasnt there or even aware of all of this to be there for you :(
For now, I wont press you for more information than what youve already given me, but I’ll let you know if there’s ever anything im wondering about too much to ignore, okay? <3
... Small? That? Thats small? How could you call that small? 🥹 Ah, hold on, my chest feels all stuffy... You dont know how much that means to me :( That the people important to you, your kids, like me and want me to be present during big moments in their lives :(( I just... never thought they’d even want to consider me family, yknow? Not because I didn’t think they would like me but just... they didn’t have to but they want to, I didn’t think I was even worthy of that :’) And of course, when the time is right, I’d love to be their stepdad. No pressure at all, honest! It would be a huge honour, actually. As long as they’d have me, I’d be more than happy to
Okay, here to reassure you, I dont feel pressured. At all. Maybe a little overwhelmed but thats just because I didn’t expect all of this... I know that we’re taking things slow, and I trust that your daughters know that too. So im hoping they also know that I would love to slowly ease into their lives, get closer and closer with them as much as they allow me to when the timing feels right. Im here to stay, remember? So I dont mind taking things slow, with you and with your family <3
.... Your selling of your professionalism doesn’t sound too convincing but! Im gonna trust you on this one :] If you ask me, I think we can do any of them first~ Maybe I can kiss some frosting off your lips, and then we bake, and then go to war against each other~ As long as Im doing all of that with you, I wouldn’t mind
Biter, as long as you’re safe and healthy and happy, then thats enough for me. That’s all I could ask for~ Youre already here making me smile and laugh and making my heart do somersaults in my chest, I know you’ll be there when I need you most too. Youre already always making sure im comfortable and happy, give yourself a little credit for that, hm?
And of course,
I love you too, my Choi Jisu 🤎
I giggled at the first line because you're cute.
I mean of course you didn't know, silly. I was the one who never told you... Hmm I guess I was a little hesitant to visit a time that was really hard... When everyone kinda had problems with me except for two or three. Wonyo was thankfully one of the people who stayed by during that time. But it never really came up again so I didn't feel the need to burden you with info that's unnecessary (and yes, I know you wouldn't have felt like it was a burden but I didn't want you worrying ‎♡).
Mhm! They seem excited! They've known each other for a long time now... Both of my daughter's have now been with their boys for a year+ 😵‍💫
Hmm... I think we'll make old the new cool then? 🤪 Hmm but... Gosh aside from it being cheesy and making my heart flutter. You don't have to find me pretty when I'm old, I'll just be satisfied if we get there and you have no regrets making memories with me. That's probably what got my face all wrinkly in the first place anyway~!
Hmm I'm sure you'll manage to help me pick... Otherwise I'll get the spinny wheel out and let it decide my fashionable fate.
Hm I don't think she'd say something like that lightly, so yes, I'm sure... Their reply to me showing them one of your answers was:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Don't worry. He's very very aware of your existence... You don't have to be sorry... Like I said... I was the one who never told you. It felt unnecessary. I didn't want to involve anyone but I know hee found out from sunghoon and since Hee is close with us both, I think he felt it was necessary that he do something with this situation. But if hoon hadn't told him... Most people wouldn't really know... Don't be hard on yourself for something I didn't share with you... It was my fault for doing that.
I'm glad you'll come speak to me if you need to :'> that reassures me a lot <3
I think the way I feel towards them and their boyfriends, is how they may as well. I will always hold a soft spot for their boys for as long as they care and love them. I trust that they're smart enough to choose good people, which means that even if I wasn't on good terms with them, I'd still believe they're a good person. Maybe that's how they approach it... Or they just like you because they can see your sincerity and can easily see how amazing you are... To say you're not worthy of something like this is ridiculous...
I understand it can be surprising to see them act this way and you're reasonable for not expecting them to fully accept you, in fact maybe we'll find that they won't mind you in the family but would prefer if you don't do dad duties (not that it's necessarily the case, just an example). Regardless though, they want you in their lives.
Like you said... Little by little you can ease into their life and they can decide how much...
Thank you... For not only showing kindness and patience to me, but to my family as well... It's not easy to be with someone with kids, I'm sure... But you're always so sweet when approaching these things. You're really something else ‎♡
Psht it doesn't sound convincing because when have you ever had to hire or recruit someone? You wouldn't know if you've never been in the position woo 🤌. I don't need a cv when I can sell myself like this perfecto fine! Of course you should trust me. Industry geniuses know how the process works. Trust me B)... But hmm... Idk all of it sounds enticing... Let's just make sure we don't burn anything~ I do enjoy the fact that I have such a willing partner who's ready to make out and commit war crimes in the comfort of the kitchen. It's quite exhilarating. I'm like a kid again 🤪
I'll do my best to try and give myself some credit... But thank you for reassuring me... And being so earnest. I know you care for me and that really makes my heart hurt in a good way. An unfamiliar feeling but it's welcomed... Knowing I'm cared for, and loved. It's why I want to thank you every second. You've given me a chance to experience things again... Things I would've given up on otherwise...
By the way, you don't have to respond to everything and all this since it's a lot! Take things easy and don't feel too much pressure <3
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tutuandscoot · 1 year
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Hello! Yes Olivia did say that. However, in her retelling of the story (not to say I don’t believe her at all but just that Adrian has not said anything publicly) she asked Adrian many times over the course of the Olympic season whether he would be retiring and he never gave her a straight up answer. He would say something to the effect of I’m not ready to decide or I don’t know. But then right after their free dance at 2022 Worlds, he told her he was retiring. His fiancée Madi H had fully announced it was her last season and if I remember correctly Scott and/or MF and Patch had already discussed options for joining Scott to coach in London at IAMO. So essentially Olivia was blindsided. She’s also quite young still, I think was 24 at the Olympics? And felt that she still had the desire to compete having thought that she would still have some time left in her career. I think some people are skeptical that she didn’t know or more adequately suspect that Adrian would retire. But that’s their business and partnership! She still attended the wedding a few weeks ago in Spain. She took a season off, did dancing on ice and won! And now is paired with Tim D, who previously competed for Germany. I’m happy for her that she’s back! I think she’s super talented so hoping that the partnership goes well. It seems like the desire to return was because of her love for the sport, not in spite of what happened. And like so many athletes, I think there was a strong comedown after the Olympics for Olivia, and that’s tough to deal with so I’m glad she’s back in Montreal and seems to be in a good place. Sorry for the long post, hope that helps :). Just one more thing - Olivia told her story recently on an ice skating podcast. I forget which one but you can take a listen if you’d like - I’m sure it’s pretty easy to find on google.
Thanks for the info!
Yeh so a few things: I really don’t know the ins and outs of ice dance post-VM’s retirement- that’s kind of where my deep interest for the sport ends and yeah I see what’s going on but I don’t follow it, don’t have any particular interest in any teams. I’ve only really watched S/D in the VM era (and at the 22 olys) and they were obviously very good but as I said I didn’t really take interest in general so nothing against them specifically. Through watching lots of stuff I learned he and madi were together and in seeing the age difference of him and olivia it would make sense he was getting towards retirement age/life direction with madi already confirming such.
In saying I dont really have an interest in them or ID specifically, I’m certainly not holding anything against her for getting a new partner/anything that was said publicly regarding retiring/splitting/who blindsided who- as you said it’s none of anyones business.
It was just that I happened to see that clip from TSL of her saying.. what I said in the initial post about not getting a new partner (and of course things can change and that should not be held against anyone because it’s their business).
Inevitably everything with me and this blog comes back to VM bc that’s where my heart and interest is.. so I just always find it interesting in looking at other teams/the ID landscape/seeing how things work- teams splitting up/retiring/new ones forming.. and I can’t help but go back to VM and their loyalty to each other.. their partnership just so clearly means everything to them and they legitimately view skating with anyone else as.. a kind of cheating on each other and it would just never happen (proven through literally everything they’ve ever said and done throughout their partnership and continue to). This is not too say S/D partnership wasn’t meaningful and special.. just not in the way VM’s is.
Obviously their situation was different to a team like S/D: coming from different counties, big age gap, other life things pulling them in different directions. I don’t judge Olivia at all. Was just purely a comment on what I had heard said.
Thanks so much for clarifying anon! (And for being nice and level headed about it as I’m sure there are plenty putting blame/hating on either of them).
Also while we’re discussing new partnerships.. did Haley and Nick (S/W) break up.. I thought I read she was looking for a new partner..? As I said I really don’t actively keep track.. just something I saw (and just to throw in my own two cents.. I really dont/didn’t see them getting above the level they’ve been at for a while- NOT a knock against Scott and his coaching- just their skill level and even with the best coach in the world, some just reach their limit..and in a tough country to compete internally like canada.. makes sense why S/F went to Ireland).
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konigluver · 1 year
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this is going to be a really triggering story but i need to tell people who will actually care and wont blame me . teigger warning for rape , drugs (weed) , police , panic attacks , kidnapping and just general terrible shit .
PLEASE READ THE TAGS BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING WITH THUS POST . and for the love of god , dont say anything mean , im very fragile rn . i know im posting it on the internet for everyone to see , but i just .. i need support .
so yesterday , i was at an rv campground , and i told my boyfriend to check up on me every 10 minutes , because i was going on a walk , and he told me not to leave the campground at all . but when i sat down at the playground in the campground , these two guys with knives came up to me and pressured me to go with them to their motel . it was a good 30 minute walk there , and im in a new state so i didnt know what to do . and i hid it from my boyfriend because i was scared he would get mad at me for not staying at the campground . when the guys took me to their motel , they made me smoke a bunch of weed with them , and i got really really high . so high i couldnt move or speak properly .
after a while , one of the guys asks the other one to leave us alone , and he raped me once the other guys left . so after he was done , he told me to walk back home by myself . so i was walking back to the rv campground which was across a freeway and a bunch of really busy streets . i called my online friend and told him everything , but he was in a different country so he told me to call my boyfriend . i called my boyfriend , but i was still so scared that he would get mad at me for leaving the rv , that i just told him i zoned out and walked too far . so he told me to calm down , helped me get my shit together and stayed on the phone with me til i got back to the rv , and he was being so nice to me and so calm , reassuring me that everything was fine and that i would make it back home fine . when i finally got back to the rv , he had to leave for a second to calm down , because he was freaking out .
i eventually told him the next day , and he was pissed at me for lying obviously but still was there for me . and im so glad he was because he made me slow down and think about what to do next . so i called the sexual assault hotline who took my info and story and gave it to the iowa police department , for them to call me back . when the police called , they didnt believe me . they kept asking questions , and they even put me on hold for a while . but i eventually told them the story , and they said they would talk to thwir detectives , and have them call me back . near the end of that call , the rv had stopped at a rest stop , and i was in the bathroom the whole time to talk to the police and the hotline , because the did not want anyone in my family hearing about what happened . so when we werw at the rest stop , my grandma started yelling at me to get out of the bathroom . i said i couldn't because i was having a super important phone call . she waited a few minutes , and yelled at me again , and since i was very emotional still about this whole thing , i yelled back at her "i cant im on the phone with the cops" i wish i had lied to her or something . but she forced me to end the call with the police , and tell her what happened . i didnt want to tell her in the first place , because i KNEW she would blame me , and make me feel like shit . she doesn't understand anything , and she doesn't ever listen or say the right thing . so when i told her , she obviously got pissed and started saying i had no common sense , that i never think , and that i shouldn't have been outside . since i was still worked up about everything , i started screaming at her to stop , that i didnt need to hear it . i was screaming and sobbing in front of my 10 year old brother . and my grandpa told me to stop . so my grandma slammed the door in front of her , and everyone left the rv . i called the suicide hotline because i was having a full blown panic attack at that point , and i wasnt going to kill myself , but i didnt know who else to call . so i called the suicide hotline , and texted my boyfriend , and they both calmed me down . justin , my boyfriend told me to calm down , and try to heve a conversation with my grandma about what happened , and where my outbursts were coming from . how fucking emotional i was . and so i took some really nice deep breaths on call with my boyfriend . before i was ready ti talk to her , my grandma forced me out of the bathroom
again . (sorry for the break in text tumblr didnt like how long that paragraph of shit was) she yelled at me to follow her and i begged her to stop talking and listwb to me . she looked at me without saying anything , and i told her the entire story . she then said AGAIN that i dint have common sense , that i make stupid mistakes , and i put myself in danger because i dont think . she also said that i never think about anyone but myself , and that i ruined the road trip . she told me i put everyone else in danger and just was repeatedly telling me that i make stupid decisions , that i have no common sense , and that i never think about anything but what i want and need . so i just asked her to stop , almost begging again , and she said "this isnt going to solve anything " and walked away . i went back to the bathroom for a bit to text some people and update my boyfriend , but my phone was about to die so now im sitting up at the front with my phone on the charger with her right in front of me . i apologized to my little brother , and he said he loves me . at least i know ill have him ❤️
i just .. i feel like getting fucking kidnapped and drugged up and raped was my fault , all because my grandma cant be the adult in this situation . shes not helping me , shes not trying to do anything but make feel bad about something that i couldnt prevent . unless i stayed in the rv , but that shit happened and i cant dwell on the past . i just cant deal with my grandma anymore . i told her i couldnt tell her anything because i dont trust her , and she got offended . but who would fuckung trust anyone who reacts like that ? im thinking of running away or some shit , but i just cant . i cannot deal with feeling like a terrible person because of her . she says shit to me , and when i confront her about how she makes me feel , she says she never said any of it , and makes me feel even worse . she constantly talks about my weight , calls me stupid and a pig , and when i tell her to stop , she gets so offended . she says "im not calling you fat , i just want you to watch your weight , because girls can gain so much so fast " snd when i tell her to stop calling me stupid , she says , "i never said you were stupid , i just said you lack common sense ." which tbh , to me is the same fucking thing . i dont hate her , i just dont trust her to love me . i dont trust her to be there for me .
i know this post was supposed to he about my rape story (my 12th rape story) but i just need to get everything out , and i need to hear that it wasnt my fault . i know damn well it wasnt , but my grandma makes me think it is . she makes me think im selfish , and stupid , ans gross and i deserve everything bad happening to me .
just please be here for me .
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