#like i dare you to tell me something that isnt stressful because i cant think of anything

[caffeinatedopossum]

Kind of feeling like I'm going to have an ed relapse purely because my body hurts too much at this weight and I'm so frustrated. I either cry or hold back from crying every day and I just don't know, I thought this would get better but I kinda just keep ignoring it and I don't have the energy to ignore it anymore

[om-headcanon]

☆ mc catching the obey me brothers crying

i believe its fair to assume mc has seen at least one of the boys cry. here is what i believe happened. (if you want me to do undateables, let me know! tw for low self worth, panic attacks, and survivors guilt/death mentions)

lucifer

without a doubt the most embarassed to be caught crying

he had just gotten into an argument with diavolo, and he questions his importance in diavolos life

he goes into the study to get some extra work done late at night to reassure himself he is useful

with all of the stress from the situation at hand and some stress from supporting the family on his back, he cant help but shed a few tears

all he wants to do is keep those around him happy and healthy... and it tears him apart when he cant

if i cant make the ones i love happy then... what can i do...

he doesnt notice your presence, as he has hands over his eyes and is breathing slowly in order to relax himself

you call out his name softly to get his attention

lucy jumps and tries wiping his eyes and playing it off as if he was never crying

you walk closer to him and he keeps inquiring if theres anything you need

you dont say anything, you just place your arms around him and hold him in a tight embrace

and he starts crying again on your shoulder... harder, this time. holding you tighter and closer in the embrace

because of his pride, its hard for him to admit what he needs the most: someone to show they care for him

mammon

mammon is the type to not cry often but when he does, its a lot

while his brothers dont really have bad intentions, the daily degradation they execute against mammon really gets to him

he can only put up his confident front for so long, and not long after a fight with asmo, it recedes

he lay on his bed sobbing heavily into a pillow to muffle the sound for nearly a full hour

his mind cant help but insist all the words his siblings tell him are true... and he wishes more than anything that you were there to tell him they werent

he looks up to the door every once in a while with blurry vision, mind convincing him theyre at the door, but you not being there makes him cry even harder

maybe they just think the same as the rest of my brothers

he hears the doorknob, but convinces himself its his mind again. ironically enough, this makes him cry even harder

except its actually you this time

you run over to his bed to sit down next to him and rub his back reassuringly, asking if hes alright

he jolts up, shocked youre actually here. he closes his mind and smiles sadly with a tear stained face

he pulls you into an embrace and whispers a soft thank you... your presence helps him more than you will ever know

you hold him for a few minutes and tell him how awesome the Great Mammon really is

leviathan

its been a long stressful day at rad, and he cant help but overthink every single action he has made

every single glance hes made, every single word hes said ... just everything

most days he would resort to playing a game or watching an anime he loves in attempt to distract himself, but other days its not that easy

he starts spiraling, thinking of not only everything hes done that day, but actions hes done in the past too

eventually hes past the point of no return, and starts having a panic attack

levi cant seem to catch his breath and with the thoughts still rushing through his head at full speed, he cant attempt to calm himself down

he envies those who dont feel the way he does right now because god, what he would do to not feel like this

you were just wondering why your gaming buddy hasnt come looking for you so naturally, you go to him

you knock on his door waiting for him to ask you for the entry code... but theres no response

you enter and are quite shocked to see levi shaking on his bed

this is familiar to you... whether youve had to guide a friend through a panic attack or have been through one yourself, you know what to do

you reassure him this will all pass and knowing how hard school is for him, you tell him he did well today

you get him to regulate his breathing and gain some composure

hes embarassed you had to see him like that... but he lets you know hes so thankful that you came to help him

satan

he just wants to be his own person but with how his life was set for him, its almost as if thats a tall order

its very rare he cries from happiness or anything like that, but sometimes he gets so sad that he gets angry... and then he cries a lot

no one dares to go near him like that

and that hurts him too... that nobody could or would ever dare to console him because they fear what hed do to them

he acknowledges this is a justified fear as he is after all the representation of wrath itself, but it still hurts nonetheless

belphie decided to poke fun and tease satan reminding him of how hes lucifers shadow

he didnt take it well... and retreated to his room to handle his emotions

he knew his family didnt want anything to do with him while he was angry... and that made him feel like a burden

but he grew used to everyone expecting he handle his emotions himself even if every once in a while he desired some reassurance

satan sat in a corner of his room crying to himself waiting for this to pass because he didnt believe anyone else would care to check on him

but you were curious as to why he wasnt in his usual 4 pm reading spot, so you decided to check his room

he was just sat completely still staring into the distance while tears fell down his face

he didnt even notice your presence until you sat down next to him

you didnt want to pry, so you just asked if he wanted to talk about it

he shook his head, laid on your shoulder, and just said “this is all i need”

asmodeus

ahh... while self love is so easy for him, self value isnt

its easy for him to believe people want to be around him solely with lustful intent rather than because they genuinely love him

he doesnt really believe anyone could ever love him

so he overcompensates through self love because he believes hes the only person who could ever love him

hes great at hiding it but sometimes, this gets to him... especially after some quick encounters with others at the fall

he thinks maybe there is no depth to him.. maybe i really am just a pretty face and nothing else

asmo cries pretty often, but he only lets people see him cry when its over something material (ie, he couldnt get a new bag hes been wanting for weeks)

he cries quietly too in effort to make sure nobody sees him

he seemed to have forgetten that you two were planning to go shopping today so you went to his room to see if he was ready

you werent expecting to see him rolled over in bed softly crying to himself

you startled him when you said his name

“oh, mc, i didnt see you there!” he chuckles lightly to himself in effort to change the mood of the atmosphere as he wipes his eyes

you ask if hes okay and his sad smile falls slightly

he asks you if you genuinely think he could ever be lovable

your heart breaks a little knowing that he even has a moment of self doubt, but you reassure him that hes a lovable person inside and out

you hug him tightly while another tear falls down his face

you two decide shopping is best for another day... for now, you just want to talk and do facials

beelzebub

beel loves his family a lot

more than he loves food (also a lot)

he hates conflict between them and would do absolutely anything to avoid it

what he hates the most about himself is how hungry he gets... hes aware its poorly timed but theres really nothing he can do about it

but the feeling hes being an inconvenience to those he loves hurts him

beel is great at smiling as often as possible, but if theres any tension between the family, he wont stop crying until its resolved

once he was so hungry it wasnt possible to control himself and he ended up going on a rampage

he earned scolds from lucifer, mammon, and satan for this

it tore him apart knowing that he had caused his family trouble for even a second and he started crying because of the guilt

he couldnt even find enough energy to make it back to his room, so he just sat in the kitchen with tears on his face

you had decided to go to the kitchen to get a snack when you saw him

he apologized for being in the kitchen and offered to move if you wanted his seat, but you declined

beel didnt even bother wiping the tears from his eyes... he wore them like they were a punishment for his own behavior

when you asked him what was wrong, all he said was that he was a bad brother

you tried to tell him otherwise, but then he went into detail about the situation and how all he does is cause the family distress

you told him that isnt true at all and he continues to bring light and happiness to all those around him

hearing that his brothers will come around and know he meant no harm is all he needed to hear

“thank you, mc... i feel less hungry when im with you”

belphie

he has lots of survivors guilt

its been millenia but he still wishes that it was him instead of lilith

because of this he cries quite often, but never in front of anyone other than beel

this feeling that lilith and him should have traded places haunts him often, and its not always so easy to sleep it off

as fore mentioned, he usually finds comfort in talking to his older twin but beel isnt always there

beel was at one of his clubs at rad and belphie didnt want to bother him, but he really did need someone right now

unlike his older brothers, belphie actually makes an effort to find you

he doesnt find you in your room nor the kitchen, so he continues to search around the house in hopes youre around here somewhere

he happens to find you by yourself in the study on your d.d.d.

belphie feels bad bothering you, and enters the room quite quietly

“mc, can we talk?”

he sits down next to you and lays his head on your shoulder

contrary to what he stated he wanted, not much talking is being done

he just lies there quietly crying with no explanation why

he realises he may not be as ready to talk about it as he thought... but thats okay

you tell him that youre going to listen whenever hes ready to talk about it

that makes him feel a lot better

he falls asleep right there with a thankful smile placed on his face

[m4rkiza]

another headcanon

this feels like a fanfiction but anyway,

leon and raihan is a pretty healthy couple.when theyre in the middle of an argument,if one raise their voice just a bit,the other backs off and suggest to take a few hours,even days to cool down, and then talk about it when theyre calm and is able to think straight to avoid unwanted events.

and currently theyre in the middle of an argument,theres a rising problem in the league,and them being the top trainers with equally great intelligence,  theyre expected to solve it

theyve been arguing because when theyre discussing about how to solve it,theres a ...quite serious disagreement , which led into a debating session,so they decide to have time to think about it by themselves instead of discussing about it,just for a day or two.

but theres another problem rising,which came from a different source, a pokemon breeding centre,theres some issue with dragon type pokemon,leon expect raihan to be the only person whos expected to help,but because leon has 2 on his team,he was asked to help raihan. sadly he cant decline the request. 

theyre in the middle of their “argument” but that doesnt matter of course,since both got an email to help the breeder to solve the pokemon breeding issue,they push their personal problems aside and try to discuss about it,which sadly led into another debating session. both decide to stop and sit down

raihan lets out a sigh “3 days?”

“..sure i guess” leon answer hesitantly,both actually cool off easily and they certainly dont need 3 days to just cool down and think. 3 days without raihan is too long afterall,but leon assume that maybe,he had pushed the wrong buttons and just agree to avoid another conflict,which wont happen.he knows raihan, but he rather not

raihan tilts his head “you look hesitant, 2 days maybe? ive already set up papers to solve the other problem we had,so i guess 2 days is enough,how about you?”

leon looks up to raihan, “i already figure out yesterdays solution too, so... 2 days? then we discuss about the league issue,then suggesting it to the staff?”

raihan nodded “yes,then we discuss about this and gave the result to the pokemon breeding centre”

leon agrees, finally,an agreement.

the next day comes, leon suddenly has an appointment out of nowhere,oleana certainly didnt tell him about this,and now,leon is sorrounded by hellspawns.

hes in the local kindergarten,which is not bad, but this kindergarten hits different,leon has lost count of kids whos trying to stole his cap and pull his cape off. heck,even one kid almost peed on him. 

once hes free from hell,he really wants to reunite with raihan,but theyre on their...relationship break? he doesnt even know what its called because its really rare for them to argue.

but because leon is on the edge of bursting out,he decide to just,take a quick shower to make himself look presentable,and flew to hammerlocke

he arrives at the gym, walking through the hall,being guided by one of the gym trainer,to raihans office. his eyes is already glassy with tears.

he entered raihans office, raihan is there, sitting on the couch with paperworks,he move his head to meet leon,eyes wide when he see a familiar purple hair

“leon? do you want to discuss it now? ive cooled down and i al-”

leon lets out a mewl,a sad one. which surprises raihan. raihan stared at him,brows furrowing,he noticed leons golden eyes were glistening “wait-” he got up,walks his way to leon “dandelion,darling” oh how leon has been craving to be called that, “whats wrong? did i do something-”

“i had a surprise appointment today” leon croak out “i- oleana didnt told me about it-” did he just sob? “i wasnt prepared and we went to a fucking place filled with tiny demonic creatures” he leans in to raihans comforting touch “worst than giratina and darkrai, id prefer to hang out with them rather than those- those kids” leons sobs got more violent “they- they were trying to stole my champion hat and tried to pull of my cape,which almost choked me,dragon” 

raihan concerns starts to grow faster when leon called him dragon,since leon only use that particular nickname when he feels unsafe or when hes super stressed out. 

“i- i almost cried in place, i was tired for- figuring out the solutions and we had 2 debate in a span of one week, we, we rarely argue dragon,” leons grip on raihans arm got tighter,”those kids” raihan can see pure fear in leons eyes “hit the spot,one- one of them almost peed on me raihan,im glad one of the teacher grab them fast enough,i wouldnt know what id do if that actually happened”

raihan hold leon tight,then make him to sit down on the couch, leon didnt let go of raihan when raihan wanted to take a cup of water, he asked raihan to stay and hold him more, raihan cant blame him,that kindergarten IS basically hell and he doesnt understand how the teacher can withstand those tiny demons, this week has been hectic too,he cant blame leon really,he felt bad about initiating one of the debates but,i guess that doesnt matter anymore when theyve found the solutions.

leon is now on his lap,hugging raihan by the shoulder sobbing quietly. all raihan can do is hugging leon back,making sure he feels safe. 

after the sobbing had died down,raihan asks leon

“lee?baby?” raihan calls out, leon lets out a mumble, “let me handle the pokemon breeding issue yeah? its about dragon type afterall,i can do it myself,im just gonna take your typed out suggestions and take care of it by my own,about the league issue,lets just combine our solution and come with a neutral conclusion, is that okay darling? or do you want to discuss about it tomorrow? we can stay in my place if you want”

leon slowly repositioned his body to face raihan,he nodded “yeah, okay,ill let you take care of the breeding centre,but dont overwork yourself raihan, about the league,lets just combine our solutions,it does feels irresponsible though,they expect us-”

“leon,my dearest,lets think about YOU for awhile,the league aint shit,my love,how do you feel about it?” raihan cuts off

“...i..personally,i dont want too..” leon looks down, he wants to give the best for the league,but raihan is right,he needs to prioritize himself just for tonight,so he can give the best to the region tomorrow morning

“there you go,now- let me just-” raihan proceed to carry leon, as if hes a baby,leon just dont give a single fuck at this point,he just want to sleep like a rock for 8 hours,he leaned and put his head near raihans neck,looping his arm around raihans shoulder tighter,hes grateful raihan is big and strong enough to carry a 80kg bulky man like he is

“dragon,love” leon mumbled right next to raihans ear, “im..sorry i initiated the breeding center debate,i .. i shouldnt even argue with you,you knew so much more”, raihan kissed leons head, “no worries baby,i dont mind,you are a bit...selfish sometimes,but its okay,its not like im far from that either,since im the one who started to argue about the league issue,despite me not knowing much about it,im sorry about that too”

leon answered “so we good?”

raihan smiled, “always been”

leon hugged raihan tighter and closed his eyes,trusting his dragon that he will take care of him,when leon opened his eyes,hes already in a familiar place,raihans apartment,to be more specific,hes on the bed,wearing one of raihans t-shirt and...his own pajama pants? raihan is currently putting socks on his left feet,raihan noticed that his prince has woke up, “go back to sleep,ill keep you safe,i wont let rose or oleana to put their hands on you” leon looked at him “but how about you?im not gonna have a day off tomorrow if youre not sitting next to me,whats the point of a single day off if 1 of my favorite person isnt there next to me?”

raihans got surprised “wait how did you know i told them to give you a day off?” leon smiled “instinct”

raihan chuckled while crawling to the bed,setting himself next to leon, “i didnt enter hell today so i dont need one” he teased, leon hugs raihan by the waist,giving it a firm grip “raihan my precious dragon, love,sweetheart,im begging you to stay, please,im not fully sane yet,i need you to keep me on the ground,and dont commit a genocide,raihan pleaaase,do your work at home-” raihan cuts him off “no! you’d help me with it! you need to rest,prince!” raihan answered with a laugh, leon tighten his grip “but i need you! how can you leave me alone and insane like this! how dare you!” leon said,mimicking his voice to sound like a dramatic damsel in distrest

raihan obeys,of course he will,hes actually on the edge too,the breeders are plain out stupid and its no wonder that the dragon type mons had an issue,they shouldve put the baby on HIS breeding center instead,he knows well about it anyway,who the heck brought the baby dragons there?! not to mention how they act like they know more than raihan,the dragon tamer,the only certified dragon type specialist in the whole region. raihan was so fed up,the paperwork from the gym arent helping either,he got 3 helping hands and it overwhelms them all,he guess he should give the whole gym trainer just a single day break to sleep the whole day and get themselves charge. and so he did,he typed out a short email to all the gym trainers,that they will have a day off tomorrow,

leon smiled in satisfaction as raihan typed out the email on his phone,he knew raihan was close to murder someone too,,but knowing raihan,he wont take a day off if leon told him too. but raihan WILL do it,if leon beg raihan to stay with him,hes concerned about it and might talk about it, that he should prioritize himself and not his lover,but not definitely not now,nor later.someday probably.

after raihan sent the emails,he turned off the bedside lamp, and proceed he put his head on leons plump chest, “alright,nighty night prince,i love you”

leon put his hand on top of raihans head,petting it gently“night dragon,i love you too”

then they sleep. 

[vivipuppy]

continued ask-

Moroshena, the human rouge Mom who ran away after something horrible happened to her kids. Questions about her, and how she’s doing now that being a maternal figure isnt the only thing she is in life anymore

1) Why did they choose their classes? their subclasses? Well she’s a detective so thats inquisitive rouge right there.

After quitting the guard, she found kids who lived in the street. These kids knew how to get around, to see the world in a way of not just what it is, but “what i can do to help myself survive”, and they taught her the rouggery. When it comes to her multiclassed fighter, it may have something to do with the ancient viking frost giant spirit that shares her soul. Perhaps.

10) How often do they lie? What situations cause them to be dishonest? Oh moro has NO problem lying. If it doesnt hurt anyone, and it works? Lie. Lie lie lie. If it gets results, who cares? She wouldnt do it to anyone, perhaps, she would have to stay in contact with, if the lie is too obvious or tenuous, but any random joe? Whatever! Its not to say she’s like, some weirdly cold view on how important truth is or something. She just doesnt think that it hurts anyone, and her lies dont. She doesnt just say shit to hurt anyone, she says “hey im the police please answer these questions about the murderer i need to find” and shes not the police. She KNOWS how useful lying is- shes a detective, she runs into it all the time!

14) what is something they love about themselves? Giant tits and girldick

22) What is a promise theyve broken? ohh boy here we go. Was it that she loved her ex? Well, no, she did love her just..., maybe not the way they thought love was supposed to be. Keeping in contact with her mother? Well... she cant know, what her life is now. Thats knowing when to leave. Was it keeping the kids safe? Well... that wasnt a promise more than just an assumption... but... yeah. When she lies awake at night, unable to sleep, its because she didnt keep her son safe, and she should have stopped it. That she should have found who did it. But she ran. And shes here now.

30) What do they seek out from others? Company, companionship, distraction. Anything to distract her. There have been really fun moments where she is stressed and wants to relieve it by spending time with Brylin, but Brylin needs to deal with his stress by coming to terms with it alone, causing a bit of a rift between the two during needing time to process things. Thats big for her- she needs to talk, she needs to be around people, if she isnt, then its hard to assert you made the right choice, that you should be here.

34) Which party member do they go to in a crisis?

It sucks, but she does go to the fucking 16 year old child Brylin when she feels bad. Despite her no longer seeing her son in him, she does still.... does the stupid mom thing of offloading your shit onto someone who can really only tell you its alright and will be ok, becaues theyre a fucking child. She doesnt mean this, to her Brylin is just her friend who’s also a child, who she can talk to but also help protect.

42) What three words do they use to describe themselves?

Quick (as in her brain is quick, but also her speed and agility), attractive, and just.

46) What do they deprive themselves of? Moroshena is addicted to many things. She is addicted to alcohol, because it stops her from her mind racing at all times. She is addicted to nicotine, as it helps with the stress. She is addicted to gambling- the sense of losing it all brings a rush of self harm that nothing else can. But most of all she is addicted to her work, to the idea that she is a “detective” that is out here, risking her life to chase the truth, all to ignore how she feels about leaving her life and kids behind because of what happened. She wont think about it. She wont think about her kids anymore, of her ex and the genuinely nice times they had. She cant, shes onto This now. She deprives herself of her own past and thoughts.

58) what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality? 

Moro has been struggling with this a lot lately! See, everyone in the party has amazing magic that can outclass her in every way. And the truth is, outside of the world, and purely in gameplay- she is the worst character in any situation. Everyone has stats better than her in everything she thinks she should be doing (despite 2 we’ll get to that) Brylin is protecting everyone, despite her wanting that to be her protecting him

Neith and Delilah has special magic that she can never do

Aylia can get what she wants from people, by force or by (forceful) charm.

And in combat? What, she’s been doing the same amount of damage since day one? To pick up for all this slack she Has to be smart, she Has to do Everything. To her, she is completley useless and everyone else is FAR better at anything she tries to do

This is of course completely false and despite me not being super comfortable saying anything about a leader positon if moro died i do not know how the party would function. It obviously would, but she has become a backbone to the party, genuinely understanding the group both in what they can do and emotionally, better than they know how to work without her. She is daring, and very clever. She is able to see through lies and peice things together than anyone else (her insight and investigation stats are sooo high) and if i just kept dealing damage, her dps can outclass even aylia’s at times. Her speed too, as well as the sharpshooter feat means she can do anything always, very good at hitting things.

[philip-seville-archive]

Personal Crisis #28973 || Pipin Texts

Pip texts Pin during the Tad disaster (tm) as he goes thru an emotional crisis

@rich-kid-problems

Pin Nam

how dare you watch Cinderella with booboo instead of me

he always falls asleep at the best parts!

Pip Seville

omg did u not see i will be watching for 72 hours straight

i assume at some point u will come over

Pin Nam

yes i absolutely will im just saying the first showing is the showing of honor and booboo wasted it by sleeping!

Pip Seville

Um he was awake during the WHOLE thing thank u

also im literally having a personal crisis not to distract from this

Pin Nam

OH MY GOD

I JUST SAW TWITTER

Pip Seville

i am not CRAZY RIGHT

Pin Nam

ahahahahahahahahahahaha

Pip Seville

TAD IS CRAZY RIGHT?

Pin Nam

weeeellll you two were pretty close pals

Pip Seville

no we werent!

i literally barely see him

Pin Nam

technically you sort of went on dates you even dressed him

Pip Seville

and when i see him its to help him adjust to swynlake im basically a tour guide

that was not romantic!

Pin Nam

oh man how does it feel to have two boyfriends

Pip Seville

I DONT

i dont even have one boyfriend louie is NOT a boyfriend

we are going on dates

that is VERY different

Pin Nam

all im saying is that you're a hot commodity pip you have boys chasing you all over town

look at you go

Pip Seville

well its been 16 years without a single romantic prospect so the universe owes me is what i would say if this wasnt LITERALLY a practical joke

how the hell can i have a dude chasing me and not even SEE it

Pin Nam

well

you're not exactly the most observant

Pip Seville

um rude

Pin Nam

i'm pretty sure eric had a little crush on you for like two years in middle school

Pip Seville

i literally run a gossip blog where i observe things

and he did not either

Pin Nam

did you even know that until i said it right now? no

see lol

Pip Seville

thats a lie u do not have to LIE to me to make me feel better about my inexperience

did YOU know tad liked me??? of course u did not

Pin Nam

i'm not lying to make you feel better i'm telling you that you have the observational skills of a spoon when it comes to yourself

i had an inkling

he followed you around everywhere pip

Pip Seville

Because i was NICE

people are so impatient with him

this is not my fault

you're talking like this is MY fault and i led him on i did not do that

Pin Nam

i don't think you led him on i think it's his fault for not saying anything

you absolutely did nothing wrong at all lol

i'm just surprised you didn't guess he liked you

Pip Seville

why would i think that ? have you seen tad

like ok maybe after the medieval ball thing i thought maybe he could be queer or something but

ugh never mind

i hate everyone

why cant people just be FORWARD

Pin Nam

hey i agree i'm forward all the time it works out for me lol

Pip Seville

this is just so unnecessarily stressful ive decided romance is stupid u were right all along

Pin Nam

thank you it really is ridiculous

it belongs in movies

Pip Seville

yeah i am over it im literally never leaving my couch forever

Pin Nam

are you going to be okay?

Pip Seville

of course i will i mean

like you said i did nothing wrong

i have a date with louie

its whatever

Pin Nam

you also have to tell me how that goes you know i literally cannot picture what a date with louie mallard would be like besides chaotic

Pip Seville

actually i feel like trash i take it back

Pin Nam

There it is

i'm sorry pip

just know that you really did do nothing wrong and if he liked you he should've said something. do you like him back?

Pip Seville

no! he is the opposite of my type

i mean besides being very cute like objectively he's gorgeous

but what would we even do on a date? i mean, he has no drive, all he does is talk about surfing, he absolutely smokes pot which is u know whatever but doesnt really fit with my lifestyle

Pin Nam

yeah

it's okay if you like him though despite all those things

Pip Seville

well it isnt, because that is just asking for a dysfunctional relationship that will fail before it even begins lol

Pin Nam

well yeah. i mean i really don't understand a lot of the romance stuff like...i don't think i...well i don't know if i've ever liked anyone like that but i do know that him liking you and thinking you were dating isn't something you should feel bad about and if you like louie you should go for that or if you decide you want to go on a date with tad you could do that too it's not like it's the 1800s and courting leads to marriage automatically or something

Pip Seville

ugh i wish it DID though

i would like to be married with four dogs and a grand estate to manage

Pin Nam

yeah managing an estate sounds like it's perfect for you actually

Pip Seville

right

why waste time with the absurdities of courtship when one can just marry rich and boss a whole household of servants around

Pin Nam

if it helps i think louie's family is richer he might inherit some of his rich ass uncles money so really if you want the estate louie is the way to go lmfao

Pip Seville

that does help lmao see im a horrible person i must dupe louie into supporting my lavish lifestyle and protect tad from me crushing him into a billion pieces

Pin Nam

see the high road

[thenextchapterbegins]

Suicide isnt a joking matter

i have to talk about this i am so SO SORRY BUT I AM ABSOLUTELY spiraling right now

i dont have alot of triggers but i do have one and its really personal and im going to put it in my rules after this because i dont think i realized how much it effects me.

this has happended a few times and i cant do it anymore

i had a really rough patch a few months ago it was bad so bad i considered highly killing myself i had a plan grab pills say im going to the gym and down it in the car.

it was really bad but i somehow mentally pushed through

i dont care if u support blm, supprt the lgbtq+ if you are against nazis or any horribly horrible thing on this planet

if u come to me in a high tense stress because recently some drama has been going on if u come to me and go “IM GOING TO JUST KILL MYSELF THIS IS TOO STRESSFUL” as someone who has been so stressed they want to kill themselves and i try to calm you down and you go “nah fam im just stressed and being dramatic/funny” u can  go absolutely fuck yourself

how frucking dare you in a high stress when u rant to me about how everything is bad and ur life is so sad and u just cant take it anymore but then go “i was being dramatic” or “i was joking” or “dont take it so serious”

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. 

i dont even know how u can support these other groups but then just go “haha suicide funny haha”

if u think suicide is something to joke about when your stressed u need to honestly and truly revaulate your life

i suffered alot i suffered through therapy, my stress made it so bad i could barely leave my house or even drive because the stress was tearing my body apart

i dont know how u can possibly think saying ur going to end your life when your stressed but then tell me u are joking is IN ANY FORM THE RIGHT THING TO DO

it honestly triggers like a ptsd reaction from me its not cool

if u do it ill block you.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said,  “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?” 

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

[janglebangle614]

Blue Spider (My OC)

Part 1

This is stupid,” I said for the fifteenth time as I pulled my poncho over my head and all four arms. Coats didn’t fit properly. “I don’t even like science. Why can’t mom call me in sick?”

“Oh c’mon A, Aunt May isn’t gonna do that.” Peter said, “Besides, why wouldn’t you like science? And a genetics lab? These guys are making leaps and bounds in the field of mutant gene trends! How are you not the least bit interested in it?”

I rolled my eyes at my cousin and raised my secondary arms. “I’m sure the only reason they’re studying mutants like you’re truly is to find out how to get rid of us. Either that, or military purposes. If I’m not back home by five thirty call the cops.”

Peter laughed, but I knew he understood where I was coming from as much as he could. He nodded. “Gotcha bro.”

“Good.” I look at my watch. “Time to go. See you tonight. One way or another.”

I’m out the door before he can respond, and Mom barely manages to pass me a bagel before I’m gone.

If I’d have known what was gonna happen on that field trip, I would have just stayed home.

-

Truthfully I was only going to the fancypants lab because of Austin. He liked fashion design, but his parents wanted him to be a doctor or something that paid a lot, and they’d fought a couple teachers to let him go on this field trip with my class. I wouldn’t have even given mom the permission slip if not for that, and Austin hating being places where he didn’t know anybody.

He was waiting outside the school when I got there, wringing his hands together and sweating, standing a ways away from the rest of the class while everyone waited for the bus. He waved me over immediately.

“Arden!”

“Austin!” I T-posed with my lower arms holding up the main ones. He did the same - glaring, because he knew I had the advantage, as always - and we stood there like that for a while.

“What’s up?”

“Stress.”

“Same. Ready for the experience of a lifetime?”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“Wanna ditch?”

“Dad would kill me.”

“Petey would probably strangle me too,” I admitted. I put my arms down. “He asked me to take pictures.”

Austin raised an eyebrow. “Is that even allowed?

“Dunno, but maybe if I try they’ll kick me out and I can avoid the whole thing.”

“Don’t you dare leave me alone in there, weird-juice. The teacher might leave me! I’ve been forgotten at a field trip before, it’s not happening again. You’re the only one in this class who knows I exist.”

“Are you even in this class?”

He shook his head. “No, and thank god. I’m not sure how I avoided getting a science class this year but Mom’s still pissed that the school won’t trade my art class for genetics. Only reason I’m here is because they wanted to sedate her for a little bit, and considering it’s not even past fall break, I don’t think it’s gonna last long.”

“Well at least you got put in this class. I think all the science teachers are doing this field trip - you coulda ended up going by yourself.”

The teacher finally joined us outside the building, bundled up in thick pants, a scarf, a heavy coat and the fluffiest hat I’d ever seen. It was only thirty-nine degrees, but I forgave her, considering the lady was from Arizona. The hell state. Still, she looked out of place among the kids in hoodies and beanies and windbreakers.

“Is she saying something,” Amir asked. There was a mumbling sound coming from the scarf.

“I… think so?” We moved closer in an effort to hear the teacher. I felt a few side-eyes, and I ignored them. The eyes eventually moved away from me, and I felt tension drop from my shoulders.

“Visiting OsCorp Genetic Research Facility… special permission for the school… best behavior… buddy… I’ll need to… signed by parents or guardians.”

Austin sighed. “Basic stuff.” You have your sheet?”

“Obviously.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the folded up form. Peter had triple checked this morning that I had it. He’d acted like he was the one going on the field trip instead of me. With his geeky brain, he probably wished that was the case.

Everyone piled into the bus. Someone made a short bus joke. Like, one person laughed, and everyone handed the teacher their papers.

I saved a seat for Austin, who’d ended up being last, and he lingered with the teacher for a moment, telling her something before joining me.

“What did you tell her?” I asked.

“Nuthin.” He pulled out his phone and opened his drawing app.

“Quiet time. Gotcha.” I opened Minecraft and work on my diamond castle. Extra? Yes, But it’s the only place I’ll ever be rich enough to pull that shit.

@fanaticfangirl2602 @merigreenleaf @ageekyreader @lynnafred

[curateddevelopment]

Relationship Advice For Sale $0.00

I get a lot of relationship questions from friends. Though i’ve been told i give great advice, i’ll never admit to it. To admit to it would be to discredit my own advice. You see, i always remind everyone that no one can tell you what is right for you but you. Why is that? Well thats easy. Its because what you need in your life as a whole is different from what you need in your life at the moment. 

Everyone handles things differently and everyone else responds to things that those people handle... differently. We’re all different. My advice to you may not be the same advice i would take myself. The only thing i try to do is to get people to understand themselves. To get to that point when things start to make sense. Maybe thats exhausting all energy trying to get through to someone they care about or leave them. The point is, you wont do either of those things if someone just told you, you have to do things YOUR way to prove to yourself whether something is attainable to you specifically or not. 

For example, lets say there is this hot guy named Matt. So this guy Matt is super hot right, but he’s kind if a dick to the bartender on your date. Now, i can tell you right now, he’s a douche and you should walk away but would you do it? I mean, we’re talking about Matt here. He’s an Ex-Marine with a killer body, a jawline that could cut a sheet of paper and a smile that could charm a nun into a life on the road. Who knows what he’s seen overseas, right? Who knows what he’s been through? Why would i know anything about him to tell you he’s no good when you’re the one sitting there with him. Right there, you’ve just justified this dude to yourself when others may not have. Its all about what matters to you. Whats important to you in your significant other. Does he have to be a nice guy? Does he have to be cute? If you cant have both, which are you more likely to compromise for? and are you being honest with yourself. 

Its ok to be shallow sometimes, especially if its important to you. You cant deny your needs and wants. You have to be honest with yourself and stick to whats important to you. Its the best way to figure yourself out. Now lets say you and Matt are now on like 3 weeks of dating and he tells you he wants to be serious. Now again, to me 3 weeks isn't enough time to make a commitment to someone but again, this is your life. I’m just here to help you navigate it. Should you say yes to the hot marine or should you pass on the aggressive jerk? If you just got out of a relationship with a dude who honestly acts more like a bitch, cant do shit around the house, and has to call his Dad when he gets a flat tire... 1000000% DATE THE MARINE. He will show you worlds you’ve never seen. You’ll learn about yourself and maybe you’ll soften him up. 

Now lets take it 2 years forward. You’ve been together for a while now and things are just falling short. He doesn't express his feeling to you, he doesn't show much affection. He seems distant. He doesn't give you the attention that the new guy at work is giving you but you still cant let go of 2 years of your life. How do you expect me to help you when you’ve already answered your own question. You cant let go of that 2 years so make a decision. Are you going to dig into why he is the way he is and see if you can break through some ground or accept his for who he is and see if this is something you can live with. There is no other option. Fight me on this, i dare you. Just don’t let the new guy at work sway that attempt. your focus needs to be on him. It needs to be on how you can reach 100% understanding of what the rest of your life with him will be. You cant figure that out with outside distractions. 

You know whats been the more annoying part for me? Seeing the guys these women stress over settle happily and watching these women assume this speaks to their worth. SO WHAT if he settles for backyard betty, let her have him! What are you going to do, fight for him? He’s not even fighting for himself. Does this mean he thinks you’re not good enough? If it does, are you assuming this one man is able to judge your worth to the rest of the world? Maybe Betty sucks dick better than a shop vac and THATS why he settled, since (lets say) you don’t like giving blow jobs. Does this mean you should just suck his dick even though you hate it??? NO! While removing my very pro-BJ’s opinion on the matter, this is about YOU. This isn’t about her or what she can do. This isnt about him and what he wants. This is about you! What do YOU want? Do you want a guy who NEEDS his dick sucked like Sasha Grey?! Is this something you’re going to be able to “put up with” in the long term? Because let me tell you, Love is not forever. 

The key is to find someone you like, not just as a slice of man cake ready to be devoured but as a friend. Can you tell him things you dont tell other people. Can you smell is natural after a long day musk left on his clothes? Can you listen to him chew or slurp soup and not strangle him? Are his breathing sounds something you can fall asleep to? 

Once being in-Love runs out, will there be love left? You wont look at him the same, but will you still look at him fondly? After having his kids, can you co-parent peacefully? If so, i say take that chance. Life is about taking risks sometimes, so long as you’re doing it safely. Do what feels right, because after-all, no one can tell you what is right for you but you.

-S

ASK

[delilahmidnight]

I!!! AM!!! SCREAMING!!! AT!!! THE!!! TOP!!! OF!!! MY!!! LUNGS!!! BITTY BABY KNEW HER ALL THOSE YEARS AGO WHEN SHE WAS EVEN MORE BITTY AND ANNIE WAS HAVING A BABY IM!!!!!!!! LOSING MY MIND And people were rude and mean to her even then IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE WHO EVER LOOKED WRONG AT HER

bonnie and frank trying to reassure the kids that annie doesn’t hate them all and Annie ignoring them all yikes

the implication that wes wanted annie to truly suffer fffffffffffuck

My darling child looks SO good in court GOD

Is Annie projecting her own mistrust onto the victim’s mother?

“Where’re you going?” “To take a nap.” Lmao

bitty baby wasn’t fooled by frank even then lmao me watching annie crucify frank:

Laurel has pOCKETS ON HER BUTT I REPEAT POCKETS. ON. HER. BUTT.

Bonnie JUMPING on Frank’s ass about laurel missing

Honestly I think bon cares more about asher than the other way around. Shes so considerate and sensitive and ashers just….a doucheface

so laurel is worried wes will crack in the psych ward, annie isnt, laurel blames annie’s being mad at him for wes being there in the first place (which like, ok he shot her on her orders but I dont think annies mad at him for that, even tho she has a right to be) (hes in there because hes stressed himself out and he cant forgive himself) and annie…what, gets offended by laurel thinking she should forgive him? And fires her. Im not sure I understand this scene completely. “MY OLD BONNIES BACK” OLD IS GOLD YALL

Why didn’t annie take caleb’s case? Is it just a front to make it more believable that catherine shot her?

what the fu–BITCHSLAP HIM MICHAELA HOW DARE HE

I AM GOING TO EAT!!! MY!!! COUCH!!!

LOOK AT BITTY BABY IN HER DORKY ASS CORDUROYS AND THAT UGLY AS FUCK SWEATER HOLY SHIT SHES SO TEENY TINY SHES COMING IN TO SEE IF SHE CAN DO EVEN MORE WORK FOR ANNIE BC SHE HAD A SPARE HALF HOUR–EVEN THEN SHE USED ANY EXCUSE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH ANNIE FUCK BABY OFFERING TO LEAVE BUT ANNIE TELLING HER TO STAY, BABY SITTING SO AWKWARDLY IN FRONT OF HER HUGELY PREGNANT PROF–WAS THERE EVER A TIME IN HER LIFE THAT BONNIE HAS NOT SEEMED SMALL AND OUT OF PLACE?? ANNIE SMILING SO SOFTLY AND ENCOURAGINGLY AT BONNIE LIKE SHE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HER AND IS HAPPY TO SEE HER GETTING BETTER AND DOESNT DESPISE HER OR LOOK AT HER WITH CONTEMPT ANNIE PRAISING HER???? FOR HER HARD WORK???? FUCKING UNHEARD OF AND BITTYS TRUE, GENUINE, PROUD LITTLE SMILE WHEN ANNIE SAYS HER ADVICE HELPS IM?????? IM TOTALLY NOT FINE I AM NOT FINE

Listen Annie is apparently obsessed with strawberry flavored anything and Bonnie is dressed like a strawberry tart im just saying iM JUST SAYIGN

The slytherin twins tryna be sensitive to asher

I think theyre tryna draw parallels between what jason did to this mother’s son and what wes did to annie. Annie doesnt want to forgive wes but this mother is showing how forgiveness can bring peace to both parties? Oh also I think annie getting involved in wes’s mom’s life caused her to lose her own baby. Thats why she told him “you ruined me”, I think. But if this mom can forgive jason for the loss of her son, maybe Annalise can do the same to wes?

these kids are all such hypocrites. Michaela has a conscience, yes, but for some reason her sympathy and empathy only extend as far as a pair of innocent rich siblings of color, not to a poor man of color involved in gang violence. Theyre all objecting to a reduced sentence for jason but are fine letting wes get away with a murder and an assault with a deadly weapon, not to mention what asher did. Like I get that its more complicated than that, but this is where they draw the line, really? Bitty tryna de-escalate the situation

Jason literally says I need to pay for what I did to you, which sounds incredibly like something wes would say The goodbye between jason and the mom always makes me bawl like How can someone be so forgiving and so supportive of someone who took away her son, her baby boy, I just dont understand, and then jason obviously feeling like he doesn’t deserve any of this, kindness or forgiveness or love or support, when lets face it it was probably a lack of all of that from adults in his life that led him to where he is now, and th e fact that hes getting it now, from the one person who should hate him most is?? Fucking heartbreaking tbh

The kids all agreeing to support each other from now on and Michaela admitting shes afraid to have feelings around them (while looking directly into laurels eyes btw nbd) Laurel defending Annie and smiling when asher calls Connor mr softy wofty Connor smiling too after making a big fuss about it

Laurel finally admitting FRANK ISNT HER BOYFRIEND!!!!

Gosh she is SO pretty even when she’s crying WHAT TO HECK

[triplemixedpd]

8/12/20, 1:34am - i wouldnt dare

~text or tell anybody about my new life because at the moment, it consists of things like indulging in squishmallows and fidget toys, and the highlights of my week are either creating/redesigning a new oc or doing chores ~i dont have a job, i dont have a drivers license, but wow i dont even have a personality; literally how the fuck can i talk to anybody else when i dont know how to talk to them??? i hesitate to talk because when i texted danny to try and catch up and tell them about my surgery, i got screamed at and cried at, and then told “i cant do this; i need to sit in the back seat for a bit.” and, i got this reaction for.. doing nothing. literally, nothing. she told me that she thought i was mad at her the entire two months. but, i was texting anna??? they knew i wasnt dead??? and i texted danny on 6/23??? im, sorry??? im sorry ~dude i wish i literally wasnt so blatantly autistic. ~i cant process emotions when i desperately need to, i struggle to understand what i do wrong, i seem to do or say something wrong, or i say something that seems worrying, or just different, to others; i laugh at stupid and repetitive shit, i eat fucking childrens food, i repeat things like im fucking rain man, and im a fucking EMBARRASSMENT!!!  ~i feel like ive disconnected from reality and people as a whole, bc for the past few months ive just delved into my partner, me, our mental health, and our trolls.   ~but at the same time, its nothing new; this isnt new day-to-day conversation. it just happens to be all day, everyday now, in person- something that ive never had with capp before. as opposed to only getting to text them while also juggling everything else; school, family, schoolwork, mental health ~dude, being fake is hard ~ive realized just how fake i am because i dont remember how to talk to anyone else, and seeing how graant reacted just by me trying to literally text them “how are you doing? i miss you!”, im kind of fucking like??? “well??? guess i shouldve just stayed dead honestly???” ~a lot of my day to day consists of thinking/talking about our ocs and plot, drawing, watching shows/movies and playing games, and literally just trying to fucking stay afloat; that last past including a lot of abrupt, sudden suicidal thoughts and crippling fucking self-esteem, paired with hypersensitivity. that is not me being “boohoo poor me sensitive baby :(”, that is the textbook description of what i experience. thats not exactly conversation material with others ~because of melissas reaction and dannys reaction ive felt very unsure of myself  - im unsure if i did the right thing or not ��- i dont know what i shouldve done differently, or where i messed up  - i feel like a terrible person, an awful person  - im upset at myself because i get really really confused by people and their expectations, or what they want me to say or do;  - i wonder if im currently displaying the textbook definition of the borderline symptom “impulsive ending relationships”  - and subsequently, im wondering if im thinking rationally; its kind of scary to not know, because i hate myself when im fucking splitting* ~i see that theyre upset, and from experience, i know that they require alone time when stressed. so when theyre stressed, and im the source of the stress, i leave to give her space. and what does THAT equal??? “YOU NEVER TAKE INITIATIVE TO MAKE THINGS UP” “I’M TIRED OF BEING THE ONE THAT FIXES EVERYTHING” ~WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “TELL THEM WHATS GOING ON IN MY HEAD?????” ~I WAS LITERALLY TERRIFIED TO REACH OUT TO ANYONE??? WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY????? “GOOD MORNING DANNY I JUST SUDDENLY WANTED TO SLIT MY CHEST BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING STUPID IN A THROWAWAY CONVERSATION AND IT EARNED A SLIGHT CHANGE OF TONE FROM MY PARTNER THAT I INTERPRETED AS AN ‘I HATE YOU’ VIBE [WHEN THATS ACTUALLY NOT THE CASE ITS JUST ALL IN MY DUMBASS INFERIORCOMPLEX-HEADASS HEAD]”???????? ~IT’S A LITERAL SCIENTIFIC FACT THAT ME AND ALL OF MY BAGGAGE IS A FUCKING BURDEN!!! I CANT ENTERTAIN, CONVERSATE, OR FUNCTION WHEN IM EXHAUSTED, AND RECENTLY??? MY BRAIN IS MAKING ME SO SO TIRED ~BUT MY PARTNER DOESNT JUDGE ME OR MIND MY RAMBLINGS ABOUT TROLLS OR MY REPETITIVENESS OR FIDGETING GODDAMN IT!! I DONT HAVE TO HOLD BACK OR WATCH WHAT I SAY LIKE HOW I DID EVERYDAY IN TEXAS!!! ~I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG!!! ~”IM SORRY THAT I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND, DARE I SAY, MENTALLY ILL, THAT I NEGLECTED TO MESSAGE YOU AND TALK”

“I! CAN’T! DO! THIS! ANY! MORE!”

 - *either too cruel or too nice, too aggressive or too passive, too rough or too soft, im too sensitive/serious or “i need to learn to take a joke”, im either a disrespectful and ungrateful brat or the best goddamn trophy-tranny kid on the planet, i either really REALLY love someone or think “oh my god im gonna have to prepare to cut them out of my life so much that its already happened in my head”  ~im scared that maybe im worse than i think i am, and i just dont know it; ive never told anyone the full extent of my symptoms. i guess thats why im seeing a psychologist, right?

[izayasworld-blog]

The shame

In my last post I promised to tell how to build yourself a category of yourself and develop your own confidence. However we can not start that without first knowing some basics about human’s ability to feel shame. I will talk about different types of shame’s. There is shame that is considered good by majority of therapists and then there is shame that is considered as bad one by this same majority of therapists. 

What is good shame? Good shame and feeling of guilt walk with hand in hand. When a child does something bad he normally feels guilt of it, also possibly a bit shame which can be considered as embarrasment. However sometimes these children feel the bad shame. It is shame about existing. Feeling of wainting to get accepted by their parents because they need their parents and they are afraid that their parents will abandon them. Why do these children feel that way? What in parents’ behaviour causes it? 

Well, usually these humans are referred as ‘shame humans’. They got scared already when they were born or incest, raping, abuse... Such things cause this shame. It is deep shame and it affects the whole person’s personality. The way he thinks and feels. Usually children who were separated from their mother right after their birth into world don’t get the needed connection with their mother. The first days and hours of the baby’s life outside of the womb are extremely important. Even though the baby was separated by taking him to some emergency room or such because he was too small for breast feeding, it still caused the baby a damage to his personality. He got the emotion of ‘not being wanted’ that he was broken or damaged and just not good enough to be accepted. Necessary connection with baby and mother wasn’t there then. On those first hours the mother draws the baby’s lines and basically the baby becomes a whole but if the mother is not there, then the baby won’t have these lines and he might never become completely independent from his parents as an adult. This is a very difficult issue to explain. But this is just one of the cases. 

Other cases are such as raping, abuse or incest. They all cause different types of shame but basically this shame in its purest model is the need of being loved and accepted. Parents can easily damage their children’s minds by just using certain type of sentences. For example when the children wants to dress up somehow the mother might say ‘ No, you certainly won’t do that, what will the neighbours think of it too? ‘. Here the mother is expressing that the child is somehow damaged and causes shame for the whole family. It’s the worst kind of sentence to say to a child. For a child the parents are like gods because they need them for surviving. Their words are universal truths for the children. So if the parents judge and criticize their children for how they look like or punish them from showing themselves. The children’s minds become shamehumans’ minds. They try to be good children because they fear that if they don’t they will get abandoned. A big part of the children’s own personality is thrown away. For a good girl her bad sides do not exist anymore. Which leads into stress, anxiety even depression as an adult. The good girl won’t say her own opinions. dress up the way she truly wants to or such because she is afraid of being abandoned by other humans and she is constantly looking for acceptance. With some others it might be opposite. They become rebellious. They isolate themselves from other humans because they don’t want to face any criticism and this leads into more shame. The humans think that they are not supposed to even exist because it’s way too shameful. The shame leads into chronical loneliness, emotional loneliness and social loneliness. Which again causes depression, anxiety, panic disorders and other mental diseases and disorders. Narcissm is also caused by huge shame that the narcisst got to experience during his childhood. 

There are different types of shamehumans. 

Successfull one - Tries his everything to success but doesn’t feel any satisfaction of things he succeed in. 

Victim - victimizes himself and blames others for his suffering and himself for not being accepted. 

Leader - Thinks that others cant survive without his organizing skills.

Clown - the one who is always talking and amusing others. Looking for acceptance and attention by this. Can’t stand quiet house or peace, always needs some noise around him. Usually they steal the show alone. 

Intelligent one - Looks down on emotional people, only interested in science, very lonely usually because cant find company that matches his intelligence level, doesnt like chitchatting, isnt really interested in other humans. 

These stereotypes are just few of many shamehuman stereotypes and I can find many of them in myself as well. When I was a baby, I was separated from my mother right after the birth which lead into me becoming a shamehuman. I was constantly criticized and judged by my mother, grandmother and so on trough my childhood and even still nowadays am. I was the first child in our family. Obviously I got to experience the hardest since my parents were.. well new parents obviously. My parents probably never knew how their actions affected my mind when I was a child. Top of that I got to experience bullying at school during my first years and this is how I became very insecure and almost invicible. I was afraid to open my mouth in the class during my primary school life. It also led me to practice karate which helped me trough junior high school. I had developed myself a role in junior high and that’s why most of other pupils didn’t dare to pick on me. However I was also kind of lonely wolf. I didn’t feel comfortable in groups of people at all. I was rebel and dressed the way I wanted because I was mostly pissed off at my mother from judging me from dressing however I wanted. I did a lot, I had many hobbies and I was very active, constantly looking for my parents acceptance but it was never enough. Even nowadays it feels like I have not gotten it and actually I’m bad at taking criticism from other humans as well. Here I’ve got to tell one case that happened during my high school life. I was assigned to create application lists for our school’s wintersports day and I didn’t know how to do it. Still, I tried to do it and did my best with it. Those weren’t good enough lists so our teacher took me to laptop so that we would do them again together. She was criticizing or more like judging me for doing them wrongly. Basically saying that I hadn’t tried or such. I tried to explain that I didn’t know how to do them expressing that I knew that they weren’t good enough. Then she said to another teacher who was sitting beside us ‘ she can’t take criticism at all and becomes all defensive’ they laughed. Of course this felt really really bad to me and I was seriouslt about to cry. I didn’t understand why didn’t that fuckin’ teacher understand a goddamn word I had said? Was she that full of herself? That’s what I thought of during that moment and I was seriously on the edge of walking out from that room and going home without explaining a thing. I felt that ashamed. After that I started to hate this teacher til the day I graduated. I won’t tell her name here since I respect her privacy, but if she ever got to read this, I really hope that she wouldn’t EVER treat anyone of her students like that again. 

I finally got that said. Time to move on forward now then. 

How to fix yourself from this shame then? What do you need to understand? I tell here now, those have been raped, abused physically or mentally a lot etc. You guys really do need to meet up with psychologist because you need personal directing and therapy to get over those events. But maybe this will also help you guys understand something very important. 

Here’s the key:  You are not walking on this planet to please anyone or to be accepted by anyone else, but yourself. Your life is in your hands. Not anyone else’s. You must love yourself and be brave. Be yourself, do what you want. You’ve got only this life here and now. If there is something you want to do but have planned to do it later on during your life, think. The life is here now. Nobody knows what happens tomorrow. Life is unpredictable since everything affects everything. This is the reason for just start doing the things you want to do right now instead of leaving it for ‘better time’. The moment is now. 

Also, other people will be there and always judge and criticize you, but the thing is that you mustn’s listen them. Their words are just opinions. Your own opinions are your opinions. You are not perfect human-being. No one will ever be perfect human. We are evolving every day. We are always in ‘the process’. We’ll never be complete. After you can accept this, that you are not perfect, you are not going to be ‘ good human’ or such since like I told in my older post, goodness is not in us. It’s just a substance that we deliver. Still even though we are incomplete, we are all important. We have born into this world for one reason. We are here because of evolution, we are here because of the beauty of life, we are here because we are lucky, we are here to ENJOY of our lives. Enjoy the challenges of our lives, enjoy the happiness in our life, enjoy all the different experiences in this life and the best part is that we will never need to be complete. We can still be satisfied in ourselves just the way we are. The key in developing your confidence is to NOT CARE other people’s opinions. Their opinions do NOT define us. Only WE define ourselves. We are the royals on this planet.  Remember this people! 

Then here is few practices you can do in order to develop yourself. Go to shower. Let the water fall down on you for 10-15 minutes straight and make sure that it touches every part of your skin. At same time think about how it feels, enjoy its gentle touch. Imagine seeing the waves of the ocean that hit the seashore or small waterfalls somewhere in the forests. Try hear their sound and let it calm you down. Imagine how the fresh wind of these places that you can hear hissing in trees’ leaves, blows new air into you and gives you energy for the near future ahead of you. If you want you can also take some relaxation music like this to the shower room, the key is to not let the shower be too loud so that you can focus on listening. After this, dry yourself and go lay into your bed naked. Cover your body with your blanket and lie on your side the way you would in your mother’s womb. Close your eyes. Focus on how the sheets feel against your skin. If you fall asleep or become comfortable, change position. Lay on your back. Wait til you are comfortable and eventually remove the blanket and just lay there. Focus on how the air feels on your skin. After this go stand front of a mirror and look at yourself. That’s you. Only you in this world. You are a human. Just a human. Nothing more, nothing less. You can do whatever you want with your life. No one else can ever tell who you are or what you want to be or do. They can not tell what is good or what is bad as universal truths. Only as their own opinions that reflect their own life. You must focus on your own life. Look at the parts of your body from mirror that you like and smile. You are incomplete but you can always develop yourself to the direction you want to. Even though you’ll never be complete totally.. You can still be the way you want to be or at least close to it. It’s not good, It’s not bad. It’s just you. 

In my next post, I will probably talk about how to use non-verbal communication for evolving your mental confidence in social situations. 

[madhattaproductions]

Generation Millenial

The millenia generation is the generation of expectation Where our parents were young thir parents would consider it amazing for them to do what we're expected to do now. We're expected to be perfect by elders and role models by our younger counterparts, we're expected to be perfect brothers and sisters and we're expected to be curteous. We're expected to be gratious for everything we're given, even when bad comes to worse we're told that 'it is better than nothing'. There are kids choking on medicine no older than twelve because they have 'something wrong' but we know it's the expectations that weigh us down and the stress that makes us drown. There are kids no older than fourteen and fifteen that want to kill themselves. There are people from the age of twelve and up suffering for the expectations that they cannot fulfil. We, as a whole, are expected to be the amazing generation, the generation of smart kids and wealthy families. We, as people, are expected to be kind, caring and supportive even when people cant do the same for us because it is considered better to be hurt than to hurt others. We, as a conformed society, are told that our problems don't matter, that they're only first world problems and that there is so much worse. Don't get me wrong I'm aware that there is worse. But rape is not a 'first world problem'. An abusive family is not a 'first world problem'. An abusive relationship is not a 'first world problem' and you could never understand if you haven't been involved in it. You cannot expect us to be mindless robotic clones of yourselves and you cannot expect us to 'just move on'. Depression and anxiety are monsters that run rampant through the Internet and feast upon our stress, they tear apart reason and destroy us, lurking in out hearts even when we do our best. The words 'mental illness' are different to 'mental problem'. The illness is not something that can be cured, you cannot get up one day and not feel it there tugging at you, begging for you to look back. The problem is something you can solve. The illness lasts until you get to know it, breathe it, live it. The problem is only the cause. You cannot expect us to be perfect when you shove us all into a container of what will be and sort us into boxes of what should be while trampling our own selves with words like 'you could never be'. We are taught what we should be from the age of one and expected to be what we will by the age of fifteen, accepted only by having the conformity of thousands by age twenty one and by working until we're unable to survive any longer. We are brought up on the premise that we will know what we can never be, we will never understand and that we will become what you could never be. How do you expect us to know anything when all we know is what you tell us to? You threaten us with expulsion for minor grievances like our socks or our hair as if socks and hair have anything to do with learning we're only learning to be the same all over and that being ourselves is not okay. We are the admittance generation: the only one so far to truly label itself in hopes of seeking chaos or praise for what we were told never to question. We call ourselves what we will because we were told we could never fit in to anything and we would never be accepted, and then we'd run home saying it was all true unknowing that it was just a stage play put together and orchestrated by those who swear by the same thing. We are young and but we are not all naive. We are brought up with fire of the speech and ice of the feelings We are taught to have empathy but to never ever feel a thing So how could we possibly be okay? How do you say "just do it" "its okay", How can you fathom this pressure while telling us that you had it worse? How could you possibly know what it's like to be told your hardships don't matter? How could you understand the torture of pretending everything is wonderful when you can't even get up in the mornings, when you want so badly to fall and not look back into the dark chasm of chaos that becomes your mind. By that logic the kid who cuts doesn't matter; the girl that cries at night just to fall asleep and wake up an hour later doesn't matter; the older sibling who doesnt know how to tell their younger that they love them and they won't be back, the kid who left home because they were told that they weren't wanted doesn't matter. You don't deserve to tell anyone that they don't matter, keep your goddamned mouth shut. You can't encourage this sickness because you don't find it moral but here you are so sweet one second then a tyrannical dictator the next. You expect us to be what you couldn't. You expect us to be pliable. You expect us to worship what you say over what you do but how could we when all we want to do Is leave ourselves behind. You scream at us for feeling happy or sad so don't you dare yell at us when we don't know how to interact. You yell when we're pedantic about clenliness and yell when we let it go for a while. You yell when we don't do enough and you yell when we do too much, Until there is no right or wrong just what you drill into us We learn to stay silent and accept and that's how you earn the title of good parent while we hurt on the inside until that hurt gets out and then you have the audacity to call us out As if the attempt were nothing, as if the scars are nothing, as if our bodies are only vessels for your commands. As if the world were spinning and you finally get your master plan. As if the open wounds arent bleeding, as if the torn skin wasn't from being scratched, as if the phobia of an open door wasn't because of the people that walked through it and as if our fear of people's opinions wasn't because of you As if we weren't scared of the beatings society gave us like gifts on Christmas day but three hundred and sixty five days a year every way you could imagine. The reason we are so scared is because we fear ourselves more than anything else, taught that we are monsters for not knowing how to express ourselves, learnt to be afraid of what we could do. Taught that we could never know anything only to be told we are stupid dirty trash for 'acting dumb' or 'playing stupid'. Taught to be kind only to be treated like a compound in the soil that you couldn't get off your shoe and are trying to figure out if it's dogshit or gum or some screwed up mix of the two. The reality is eating away at me and it needs to be known. We need awareness for what has been done, the things nobody can bear to talk about, what nobody can dare to even think of. The things that happen in this world are not so easily overcome and we're tortured with the words whats wrong where nothing is but we don't feel anything Nothing is exciting and nothing is unexpected Unexpected things get in the way of what we're supposed to do and all at the same time we're ridiculed for wanting to do what we're told to do. It's a bullshit tug of war between you should, you will and you won't where the winning side takes you to 'but you could have'. I dont know how else to put it, and maybe a lot of things are just silly, but I dont know anymore. Your life, my life, their lives. They are alive. Please remember that you treat people how you wish to be treated and that people will treat others how they've been treated. People are cruel, but we are crueler to ourselves than they could ever be. So don't give up on yourself because you arent alone, you aren't one in a million, you aren't the only one and you will never be alone if you will yourself to be with someone that's like you. I can't stress enough that the Millenial generation is the generation of expectation and fatality so please, Think before you speak, type or send. Please think before you do. Please talk before you can't anymore because we believe at the very least that you won't be the person to hurt us. Please, don't burn us down in an effort to make yourself better, don't push us down so you can get higher because the higher they get the harder they hit rock bottom. Please, don't throw us away. Just appreciate yourself, your best, you aren't just a book on a shelf you're a world waiting to be discovered and recovered from your battered shell. Those wounds are not ugly, those scars are not gross, your nature is not humiliating and you yourself are just in waiting. And if somebody won't save you then get up and read yourself, discover the amazingness that is you and flaunt it. Throw it in the faces of the unbelievers and scorn the sheep and cattle as you will because fuck it all you deserve it. You deserve to be loved, we deserve the equality that the nation so desperately pleads for. We are what we are and there isnt a thing I'd change about myself unless it was to be able to show you people that you are more than you credit yourself for. We are more than we were taught we ever could be. -MadHattaProductions- Awareness about Mental health and the Millenials

[callmekinkykitty]

My Lingo

I’ll call you a “bag of dicks”, and if I’m really pissed I will emphasize that not only are you a “bag of dicks” but now you’re a “full bag of dicks”. I call my best friends “poop heads” and “beautiful Betty’s”. If something is heavy its now a “fuck load”, “tit ton”, or a “yea, no, I can’t lift that”. If I think your a little different in the head with the way you think, I am so blunt and honest I may just call you completely “mental”, or a “basket case”. When I see people with smaller lips, where I come from we call them “chicken lips”. A kiss is no longer a kiss but either a “smooch” or a “peck”. You will usually never hear me say sex or intercourse, but I will say “laid” or “banging”. I mean seriously I am 20 friggen years old and till this day I hate the word penis. Some may use dick or cock, but I am the type of person to call it a “weenie”, “weener”, or “noodle”. I hate the word pussy or vagina but if you were to call it a “cooter” I would never be offended. Don’t ever call it a cunt because then I may ask who. A fuck isnt a fuck but instead “friggen” is the word I chose. 

I really used to even call booze “Al’s Coacoa”. If you ask me to hand you an object I am going to ask you a million questions because to me an object isnt just an object. A “thingy majigger” is the correct term and you wont usually get a question about it. I wouldn’t dare shout son of a bitch because “son of a pooper scooper” is what I would usually say. When scared, I don’t even know what people yell, however I normally shout “sweet baby jesus”. If your close to me and acting like a dork, well in my family, that’s called a “dingbat”. A fart cant even be a fart you either let out a “toot”, just “ripped ass”, or your “butthole just whispered”. Depending on the day even a butt hole usually snt a butt hole, I much prefer a “bunghoolio”, “brown eye”, or “booty hole”. Since when did the word butt become vulgar? Oh, that’s right! When I began calling it a “tucus”. 

When stressed out I often groan “oi vay”. When things are said and too much information may have been given I call it a “word vomit”. You cant tell someone they are gorgeous and then go on about their split ends. If it look really bad then that is just flat out a “rats nest”. I grew up with a bit of homophobia displayed in my family, and well if I ever say “carpet muncher” its not derogatory. I don’t often call a stomach a stomach. A “belly”, “tum tum”, or “tumic” is what Im used to.