#it hurts so much and i feel like no one is taking it seriously

[bramblebeau]

Alright I told myself I wouldn't interact with fandom when s2 came out, and I haven't and don't plan to except to say this about people deciding Caitlyn is the Worst or that the writing is OOC.

As someone who has had a family member violently killed, I cannot stress how much it shakes up everything you thought you were and stood for. My beliefs in proportionate compassionate justice and the rights of all human beings are some of the strongest I have (stronger now because of the way that experience affected me personally), but they were pushed to the absolute limit when it came to an individual who had killed my loved one, showed no remorse, and laughed in our faces outside court, among other things.

People generally like to believe it wouldn't be them or their peace-loving family members being talked down from seriously considering violent revenge, consequences be damned. People like to believe they wouldn't lash out at people closest to them under that pressure, that they wouldn't build walls around the kindest and most sensitive parts of themselves because those parts are the ones feeling pain you never thought possible, that they wouldn't stalk the killer, make notes on all their family and friends, and fuck up their hands punching walls in anger wishing so badly it was flesh and bone because they can't handle the fact that there's no way to turn back time to stop it all from happening. People like to think they're "better" than that. But the reality is messy and painful as hell.

With Caitlyn, she has the added guilt of having actually had the opportunity to stop Jinx before she fired the rocket, but she hesitated just long enough for it to result in the deaths of her mother and other councillors and in the cities being plunged into chaos. Not only that, but the person close to her she's lashing out at is the person who caused her to hesitate, and just so happens to be the sister of the killer.

Furthermore, her behaviour is entirely in character. We have seen her set up as someone who becomes obsessed with achieving a goal and will do pretty much anything she wants to get there. In S1, we agreed with her methods because her goal was exposing and taking down Silco, and because it led to Vi being released. In S2, she's doing a similar thing but it's fuelled by fear and a type of pain she doesn't know how to deal with, rather than being fuelled by a need to prove herself and solve a case, and it leads to her making morally questionable decisions and to hurting Vi. She admits herself, albeit privately to Vi, that she does not know what she's doing and doesn't know how to fill this hole in her chest (and the hole in the city leadership). She has been sheltered from the real world for almost all her life, and as a result she has no experience of functioning or making decisions under this kind of pressure. The real world blew up in her face in the worst way and she was given power and a loaded rifle, and then shoved into an even more elevated position by a very experienced warlord who is manipulating the shit out of the whole situation.

I'm not saying that you have free rein to hurt people when you're grieving and facing extreme stress. (If you think that's what I'm saying then idk I'm not sure there's much hope for you in terms of critical thinking skills). What I'm saying is that Caitlyn is exhibiting pretty normal human behaviour that most people would be susceptible to in those circumstances, not the behaviour of someone who is some kind of heartless abusive bastard.

TLDR: Caitlyn is being written in a way that completely makes sense and is also not OOC, and if someone told me there would be no chance of them reacting in similar ways I simply would not believe them.

[ineffectualdemon]

The thing is you can't trust what he says as much as what he does. He is angry but I feel he's more angry that Binghe lied to him in the dream because he had already decided in that dream to accept Binghe's feelings. He's also angry that Binghe followed his demand to leave him alone.

He's still grappling with the decision to accept Binghe's feelings (which he is still holding himself to) and hurt that it came from a moment of deception

In that fight he is angry but he doesn't draw his sword or even remember to fight with Qi until he halfway through. And at one point he's remembering how he used to fight like this in his past life and kinda having fun. He is angry at Binghe and wants to burn off some of that anger but he's not just resigned to letting Binghe do whatever just because he wants to save CQM

He has feelings for Binghe and hes aware he cares about Binghe even though he hasn't sorted how yet and just after his dirt nap he heard people thought Binghe had raped him and was enraged because "Binghe would never do that" he thinks Binghe can be violent and cruel but he doesn't think him capable of rape. Also I don't think Shen Qingqiu thinks Bingge raped anyone because he thinks shit like "of course everyone would willingly sleep with him. Hes the protagonist"

I don't think he seriously thinks Binghe is going to go through with raping him. But he also knows that doesn't mean Binghe won't take liberties where he can

It's not a healthy way of communicating or handling their anger and hurt for either of them but I also don't think it's a scene of sexual assault or one where either party is genuinely expecting sexual assault

I will point out again Shen Qingqiu asked Binghe to leave him alone and Binghe did much to Shen Qingqiu's anger.

And then before showing up Luo Binghe sent in Shang Qinghua to give Shen Qingqiu his sword so he was armed.

It's a fucked up little scene but because of the emotional bullshit going on but it's not sexual assault. Still fucking weird and messed up though

If we want to question Binghe and consent the place to do it imo is more their reunion on the rooftops during the Sower thing where he force feeds Shen Qingqiu his blood

People who haven't read SVSSS: it has necrophilia and pedophilia!

The fans: *tired* no. That is not correct. I see why you would get that impression but you are wrong. That didn't happen

People on the SVSSS canon who don't know LBH or SQQ well: Luo Binghe disgraced his master's corpse and his master preyed on his student!

Shang Qinghua: *tired* no. That is not correct. I see why you would get that impression but you are wrong. That didn't happen.

[planetpedri]

this is gonna make me sob into my pillow but #2 angst thingy with pedri 😣😣😣😣😣😣😣😣

Peace — Pedri González.

Pairing: Pedri González x Fem!Reader

Summary: Breaking up after a a three year long relationship had hurt you tremendously, but when Pedri had texted you that he got injured and wanted you to come to the hospital… well you couldn’t say no.

Word count: 1.47k+

Disclaimer/s: Based off the prompt ‘Hold me, please?’ , angst to comfort / fluff.

A/N: hi im on an angst kick don’t expect much happiness coming out of bea’s blog.

You reread and reread Pedri’s text. Over and over and.. you get the gist. You couldn’t help the pity that built in your heart, but you also couldn’t help the anger that arose along with it.

It had only been a week, for God’s sake. You’d broken up a week ago and the wound was still fresh. Angry thoughts clouded your mind the whole drive to the hospital, all the way up the elevator, to the door, but the second it opened and your eyes landed on the man you had folded.

Every rage filled feeling disappeared, replaced by the overwhelming urge to comfort him. You hold back, cautiously poking your head through the door. “Uh, can I come in?”

At one side of the bed was Pedri’s mother, only furthering to the awkwardness of it all. Seeing your ex and his mother a week after you’d broken up was not something you imagined happening, yet, here you were.

María stood, her eyes darting between her son and the woman she’d grown to adore so dearly. She had to fight the smirk threatening her lips when she saw the tension in her son’s shoulders depleting.

“I’m going to the cafeteria to find your father.” She says, patting Pedri’s head, “it’s nice to see you again.” She offers you a kind smile before rushing out of the room.

“You too..” You begin, but she was already long gone. Left alone in the depressing hospital room, you find your gaze drifting to his leg. “Jesus..” You mumble.

Pedri doesn’t say anything, simply letting out a quiet hum of acknowledgment. He watches you carefully as you make your way to the side of his bed.

“I don’t.. I don’t really know what to, uhm—“ You were grasping at straws for something to say. Nothing came to mind, causing a flush to spread across your cheeks along with a nervous laugh.

The tan man couldn’t help the way his eyes softened and the small, barely noticeable smile of his lips. He’d missed you. Everything about you, he had missed. The breakup of course, was his fault. He been so stressed with football that he’d taken it out on you, saying things he didn’t mean but couldn’t take back.

“You don’t have to say anything.” He speaks, wearily. He wanted so badly for you to just look at him, he didn’t blame you for avoiding it, though.

“I feel like I probably should, I mean.. this is..” You were once again, at a loss for words. “I’m so sorry, this sucks.” Pathetic. That was pathetic.

Pedri was unfortunately, very injury prone. You’d been in this position many times, but this was different. You couldn’t rush to his side, you couldn’t shower him in apologetic kisses, you couldn’t do the things you used to. And those were the only ways you knew how to comfort him.

Your legs brushed against the hospital bedsheets, when you remember. “Oh! Shit, I almost forgot, I set them down outside the door because I wasn’t sure if they would be appropriate right now.. Wait, I’ll be right back.” And just like that, you were gone, leaving Pedri completely and utterly confused.

When you returned, you had a blanket and, what you’d called the ‘designated hospital hoodie’ in your hands. He recognized them instantly. Your favorite hoodie of his, and the blanket you’d used specifically on the nights he’d stay over and the two of you would fall asleep on the couch.

“I figured it would get cold in here, it always does.” You gingerly hand him the items, freezing when his fingers brushed against yours.

Pedri froze as well, his eyes snapping up to you. “Sorry, uhm, thank you. Seriously.”

“It’s no problem.” You cough, “so! How are you? How bad is it?”

Shaking his head with a tired sigh, Pedri winced as he scoots over on the bed, his jaw clenching as he does. “Joder. [fuck] ” He hisses in Spanish, taking a second to speak again, “you can.. sit down y’know?”

Hesitantly sitting onto the uncomfortable mattress, your eyebrows furrow, “you shouldn’t be moving so much.” You scold, easily slipping back into your old concerned girlfriend mode. “How many times do I have to remind you there are plenty of chairs I can sit on?”

“And how many times do I have to remind you, that I prefer you closer?” He rebutted, the both of you pausing when you realize you weren’t allowed to do this back and forth anything.

But, you shrug the feeling off. Despite how things had ended, you loved Pedri. You cared for him. He was hurting, and you were not about to make him hurt any more by opening up the wounds that were still fresh.

“Well, your comfort is a bit more important than your wants.” You crack a small grin, “how did surgery go?”

Pedri huffs through a painful exhale. “I don’t want to talk about medical shit anymore. I’ve had to deal with my families badgering all day…” He hesitates before continuing, “I know this is overstepping, but could you just.. lay down? You don’t have—“

“I’d lay down if you weren’t hogging all the pillows.” You tease, “move your big head.” Shifting around to a sitting position beside him, you wiggle around till the thin blankets were out from under you and on top of you.

He laughs, the sound sweet and welcoming to your ears. You turn your head to the side, meeting his eyes directly for the first time since you stepped into the room. “This is only mildly weird.”

“Yeah.” He agrees, taking the blanket you’d brought and spreading it out over the two of you. “Another boundary crossing question…?”

“I don’t see why not.” You swallow, not knowing what was about to come out of your ex’s mouth.

“Hold me?” He asks with the saddest eyes, “please?”

Listen, you were no fool. You knew your actions would have consequences. This simple act was going to either lead to your heart breaking even more, or potentially causing you to go against your morals and allow forgiveness.

You couldn’t get yourself to speak, instead, you lift your arm to wrap around the back of his neck and your hand came up to rest on his head. Pedri automatically relaxes against your shoulder, letting out a long breath of relief.

You stay like that for a while, your fingers threading through his soft hair while the other hand occupied on his cheek, it’s fingers rubbing smoothly back and forth along his cheekbone. It had always been the way you calmed him down when he was upset. The familiarity tugged at your heart strings and in that moment you didn’t care how badly this was going to hurt you, you only cared it would make him feel better.

Plus, he always told you how much peace he felt when he was in your arms, and thats all you wanted him to feel in the moment.

“Pedri?” You quietly beckon him to look at you, which he does. His eyes fluttered open and a small hum leaves his lips. “You know I can’t stay..”

He tries to hide his disappointment, but you knew him too well. “I understand. Sorry, I shouldn’t have even asked you to come, I know I hurt you.”

“Hurt is one way to put it.” You quirk an eyebrow, hiding the genuine words behind a teasing grin.

His eyes flicker around your face, noticing every crack in your expression. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean the things I said. I can do better, I will.”

“That’s not enough. The things you said.. Pedri, I can’t just forget them.” Exasperated and ready for the conversation to end, you tap his head. “Just lay back down.”

Pedri shakes his head, “no, we need to talk—I need to talk about this! I don’t want you to forget, just hold me accountable and give me another chance.” His tongue darts out, wetting his lips. “Please, cariño.”

That stupid, stupid, stupid pet name. The only one you ever really loved when it left his lips.

“Can we talk about this when you’re not suffering from an injury? Like, what, two months? When your head is clear, and i’ve had time to get over what you said.. you call me. Then, we can talk about it.” You push his head back onto your shoulder and rest yours against his hair.

“Okay. Two months?” Pedri’s hand that had wrapped around your waist, dips under your shirt, rubbing slow circles. “I can do that.”

Pressing a short kiss to his hair, you hum. “I’ll leave when your mom comes back. Don’t text me or contact me till those two months are up, got it?”

Pedri groaned, “nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“Fine.” He rolls his eyes.

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any pedri posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @sakashq @hrts4havertz @joaoflms @spidybaby @gadriezmannsgirl @unx100to !

[vrystalius]

AAAAJAJA I LOVE UOURR BLOGGG AND HOW YOU ENVISION EACH CHARACTERS XDD may I pretty please make a request for angst/fluff hcs on female human reader, who’s very insecure, paired with the upper moon trio and Muzan?Whether it’s about her looks, or that she feels like they don’t genuinely love her (esp since they are demons and she’s a human, so what’s stopping them from leaving/killing her and dating other demons instead(˃̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣ )

Insecurity

What stops your demon s/o to get bored of you one day and eat you? What if they’re only pretending to love you? And what will your partner do to fight those insecurities?

Pairing: Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Muzan x gn!reader

Kokushibo

He is taking your insecurities very seriously. Kokushibo knows and felt it himself plenty, during both his demon and human years. Despite that, his “comfort” and “reassurance” methods are quite unique. Your husband will not react immediately to your feelings, rather being more quiet and reserved than usual, wich at first makes you doubt yourself even more. Perhaps he is finally realising that he is much better off with another human or even demon… Although you started to notice how Kokushibo was hovering around you more and more. Silently, but he was still there, watching you while you go on with your day. You could be doing some mundane task like cooking yourself a meal and he would be standing behind you, not noticing how intimidating he is being right now.

In his mind, Kokushibo was showing more interest in you. He believed that you felt insecure about him not being around you enough or paying attention to you, instead being out on missions or training. So, now he’s watching you everyday all day, trying to show you through his ways that he cares about you and cherishes you very much. Once he finally notices how he is achieving nothing but making you confused or intimidating, Kokushibo begins to show affection more openly, although it felt forced at first.

His calloused hand would slowly slip into yours, intertwining fingers while he was meditating, or him holding you close to his body while you napped or slept on his chest, spending the precious and scarce nighttime with showering you in affection while you were resting, not even aware about how he was trying to show his love in his own way.

“I’ll stay for the night, I asked that man to give the other Upper Moons any of my remaining missions. I’d rather spend my time with you.”

Kokushibo is silently worrying about not being good enough for you. Although he is Upper Moon One, wouldn’t a human want to marry another human and start a family? What stops you from leaving him? He will not stop or hurt you when you choose to do so, he would completely understand.

Douma

You immediately saw Douma’s face shift into the expression he gives to all his followers once they start speaking about their woes, while you were trying to explain to him how you were feeling. You silenced yourself the second the pity-tinged smile appeared on your face, knowing that he is not listening or acknowledging your feelings in any way. He told you times before how he feels exhausted when listening to his followers whine and cry about their problems while Douma barely cares, giving them the usual advice. Talking about your insecurities will definitely not work with Douma, so you’ll have to resort to other things to make him listen. Ignoring him is a not very nice way to do it, but at least he’ll start to wonder why you are not around.

He notices immediately when you stop being near him. You’re not sitting by his side during sermons, you’re not in your shared bedroom and the followers commented about how you were seemingly avoiding the Founder. That’s when it finally clicks, you were talking about not feeling enough for him and being insecure about yourself earlier, right? Once Douma chased you down (and persuaded you to leave the garden and step into the shade with him so you two can have a conversation without him needing to yell all over the estate), he theatrically kissed the palm of your hand and kept apologising over and over, almost nervously trying to explain how much he loves you and how irreplaceable you truly are to him and his heart.

You are the first human, first being he felt emotions for. Happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy and most importantly love— all the beautiful and unpleasant feelings, Douma began feeling them because of you!

To prove his point in a way, he introduced you to all the unimpressed Upper Moons and his master as “the love of his life”, his wife, his life partner, soulmate and so on and on, mentioning many other petnames until Muzan finally silenced him. Douma invites you to sit right beside him during sermons, instead of having your own cushion, keeping you closer and having the opportunity to openly shower you in affection. He sometimes sends out followers to pick up flowers for you in the garden and then presents then to you as if he picked them out himself, acting like the sun wasn’t out for the last hours, making it not possible for him to get those flowers for you. You appreciate it nonetheless.

“I have an idea! How about we hold an official wedding ceremony with all my followers! We cab invite my other friends too! Ohh, Akaza can be my best man, imagine how that could be, haha!”

Even if Douma is rather comical and theatrical, deep down inside, he is rather afraid of you getting sick of him one day. He knows he can keep his followers charmed and close, but his speeches and charms do not work on you. You see right through him and know the true person, or demon, he is. He is insecure himself because why would you stay with a man-eating demon? Once you mentioned your own thoughts and feelings, he took it as an opportunity to prove that he does cherishes and loves you so, so incredibly much.

Akaza

You… You seriously think that you are not good enough? Not pretty or strong enough? Seriously?

You are the best thing that ever happened and will happen to him. You are patient with him snd so kind, so gentle and affectionate. You heal his soul and now you are talking about being replaceable? He feels incredibly horrible for making you feel so terrible about yourself.

Akaza tries to be more obvious about his feelings for you, trying to reassure you how beautiful you look or saying “I love you” more often, taking your smaller hand into his, nuzzling his cheek in your warm palm. He gets much more touchy, trying to get you to cuddle more and more so he can relish in your warmth and bask in your arms. His time with you is scarce, especially with how Muzan keeps drowning him in more and more exhausting missions that keep him away from you (and sometimes it feels like his master is doing it on purpose), that’s why his eyes do not leave your form for even one second, sometimes quietly mumbling “I love you” against your warm skin, his lips placing kisses between his muffled words.

“There’s no one else I want by my side, bunny. You make me feel warm, fuzzy… safe, y’know. It’s weird but nice. You should feel like that too.. you deserve it.”

Akaza sometimes notices how disgustingly desperate he sounds to comfort and reassure you. It made him cringe once he realised how hard he fell for you, how much he clung onto you and how desperately he craved your love, your touch. Once you start talking about your insecurities about your beauty, self-worth and so on, he realises how much he appreciates you more and more. You’re the most beautiful human he ever came across, you’re heaven-sent. Is it selfish of him to think of you as a blessing from the gods themselves?

Muzan Kibutsuji

He was very perplexed when he first listened to you talking about being insecure, not quite understanding how you out of all people feel replaceable and not enough for the demon king. How could you think such things? Do you not understand how vulnerable he is with you without an audience? At first, he’d dismiss your worries for you just being confused or not feeling well, but a little after a day after your initial conversation, the gears inside his five brains begin to shift and work again. At that moment, he finally realised what you really meant.

Muzan didn’t want to be more affectionate with you, mistaking love with weakness, but after finally realising how you needed the reassurance from him, he begrudgingly gave into his fears of appearing soft and began to show his love more openly.

The demon king began to shower you in various gifts that mark you as his partner, such as a necklace with a ruby matching his eye colour, multiple rings he owns himself so you two can match and an artificial flower crown for you to wear as his soulmate and in a cute way to show off your “royal status” as the partner of Muzan.

“You are the one and only for me, and I am the only one for you. If the gods exist, they have blessed me with merely meeting you in your lifetime… it would be a pity to let it expire so soon. I will happily give you my blood if you’d like, my sun.”

💠

I am back with the Upper Moons, I hope you don’t mind if I changed the female reader to gn, anon! I felt like I wrote a lot of fem reader lately so I wanted to switch it up again. I wonder if it’s obvious wich demon is my favourite XD Anyways— I’m heading to bed now, I an exhausted :,)

Make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!!

Take care of yourselves <33

[burningcheese-merchant]

Sooo, I have a thought from an ask i saw about yandere beasts towards the ancients...

What if the Beasts became yandere towards YOU instead?

Although, the Ancients have the same feeling too, which may lead to high tensions in the air.

What would YOU in that scenario?

-A Self-Aware/Yandere lover Anon

Wait, me? Me specifically? Merchant? The person answering this ask? That's certainly an interesting thought...

If the Beasts became yanderes towards me, then I would fucking panic lol. I don't condone this kind of behavior irl, it's fun to write fictional crazy people but nobody wants to endure ACTUAL crazy people. Stalkers are sick and dangerous and need to be put away, and it's a damn shame it's not taken seriously by law enforcement anywhere (not until it escalates to violence, anyway, unfortunately)

With that said, let's terrorize Merchant for a little bit

IF THE BEASTS ARE STILL JUST COOKIES:

Step on them immediately, they're like 3 inches tall wait, would that work? They have powers and are crazy strong. What can they actually do against humans? Would stepping on them just break my fucking foot?

Send my dog after them no wait, I don't want them to hurt my dog. I love my dog very much. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him. I'd never forgive myself if I let him try to eat them and he just got turned into flour or something

Pour milk on them ONE OF THEM IS MADE OF MILK ALREADY GODDAMN IT

Hide the box of cookies I like to get from the store, because they probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that I love to eat cookies (they're just like this 🍪 but still)

Try to trap them in the fridge momentarily, hope they don't destroy my nice fridge

Make a deal where they are allowed to live in and explore my house provided they damage nothing and hurt no one

Give them head scratches (especially Spice, his head looks Very Scratchable)

Give them tiny little kisses if they behave themselves (however, if I give one a kiss, I have to give them ALL kisses, or else the other 4 will retaliate against me out of jealousy)

I will also allow them to sit on my shoulders if they behave themselves and don't try to yank on my hair or my ears or something

Wait, do cookies know what sex is? Are they capable of sexual feelings? If so, how do they deal with them? Do they have the... equipment for that? WHAT IF THEY TRY TO HUMP MY FINGERS OR SOMETHING OH GOD-

Contact federal authorities and hope that they believe me when I say superpowered talking cookies are in my house, so they can come take them away and perhaps experiment on them

Probably never sleep again because there's a batch of little satanic cookies in my house that all want to fuck me for some reason (I'm ugly and a normie, wtf did I do to deserve this 💀)

IF THE BEASTS ARE HUMAN:

immediate death

panic x10000000000

I hc Spice as being at least 6'5''/198cm and 200+/90+ lbs/kg so I'm cooked 7 ways to Sunday just with him

Seriously I'm just a short nerd irl. Assuming they still have their powers, my life is literally over

Do everything in my power to convince them all my loved ones are dead so they don't go harm them out of jealousy (ESPECIALLY my SO, God have mercy, I'll probably have to tell him to go hide in his home country for a while)

Try to barricade myself in a church, hope that the "demons cannot set foot on hallowed ground/in God's house" rule applies to them, beg God to save my sorry ass while they try to break in and drag me back out

Can't call the cops because A) stalking and harassment are not taken seriously by police, B) they won't believe me when I say that 5 supervillains are trying to kidnap and marry me, C) by the time they realize I'm telling the truth, they will already have been hanged/put into a coma/beheaded/turned to flour/cut up into salt cubes

I actually only like men irl so I am in deep trouble with Flour and Sugar especially

Try to flee the country (probably won't work but I'll try anyway and hope they don't get too mad about it), hide out in the Yukon or some bumfuck nowhere village in Russia, I'd rather face a polar bear than these guys

Probably still be forced to let them live in my house in exchange for peace and obedience

...I don't know if tiny head scratches and kisses would cover it this time

Hope that they're all possessive enough to only harass me one at a time, instead of... more than one at a time, because that counts as sharing and yanderes don't really like doing that

Try to pit them against each other constantly. If they're too focused on arguing about who I belong to or whatever, then they can't focus on tormenting me

Would like to try to stab or shoot them but idk if conventional weaponry works on them at all

If I HAD TO pick one to say yes to, it would be Burning Spice. He is sexy af. Then, hopefully, I can weaponize this and get him to defend me from the others

IF THE ANCIENTS LIKED ME TOO, BUT WERE NORMAL:

Yay, sanity. I'll tell them to PLEASE get the Beasts away from me. They can sort out whatever they feel towards me later, we've got a bigger problem on our hands than that

COOKIES: I will keep them safe in my house under the same conditions as the Beasts: behave and do not harm anyone or anything

HUMANS: Look, can I just... send them back? How did any of these guys get here, anyway? Can I please just shove them back through the portal or whatever they used to get here? Even if I wasn't taken, I don't think I'd have the strength or patience to put up with anyone's shit. Can we just be friends? I'd love to be friends. I need a mom friend like Hollyberry in my life

If necessary, I am picking Dark Cacao. Seriously, I love my big, strong men. Merchant is a basic bitch at heart lol

IF THE ANCIENTS WERE YANDERES TOO:

Are you fucking kidding me

Am still picking Cacao, fuck all of you

[sixtsposts]

Bad memories - Bucky Barnes

TW: female!reader, fight in a couple, mention of Steve's death, mention of Rebecca, sad Bucky, past trauma, from angst to fluff?

"You're not even trying!" You were pissed off right now. Like a lot, to the point where you are pacing around your shared bedroom with Bucky staring at you.

It's been about thirty minutes that Bucky and you are arguing and your starting to loose it. You just didn't understand him right now.

"I'm just asking you to come to the cinema with us! Seriously Bucky, what's the matter here?" You shout again but with an undertone of curiosity in your voice.

Bucky look up in your eyes and it hurts him to notice the worry in the frown of your eyebrows, "There's not matter, okay?" He sighs and rub his face, turning slightly away from you.

"So you just don't want to spend time with me, that's it," you reply harshly, with a hurt expression.

"That's not what it means doll, you don't understand," Bucky sighs and try to take a step closer to you. Though you take steps back refusing to lean in.

"And what should I understand Bucky? You've been gone on a mission for two months, you're back since a week and all you do is meeting Sam to prepare new missions. And now, you even refuse to spend few hours with me and our friends?" You yell at him, "You're right, I don't understand," you cross your arms in front of your chest, you're so upset you could cry.

Bucky put a hand on his hip and rub his forehead with the other, "That's not- you don't get it," he says with whar looks like a tired expression.

"Indeed," you point out with a cold demeanour.

"I'm not trying to hurt you doll!" He suddenly turns to you with a sincere expression.

"But that's what you do though!" You reply back, taking a step closer witha frown.

"I'm scared doll!" He shouts suddenly and your angry expression flatters, "I can't handle this and it makes me scared, okay?" He repeats with a quieter voice. He turns his back to you, his arms fold against his chest almost in a protective manner.

You bite your lips, the way that his voice slightly broke not going unoticed by you. You sigh by your nose, starting to feel slightly guilty for your behavior. You walk to him slowly and gently put your hand on his back, stroking it softly in a soothing manner.

"You can talk to me babe, I'm sorry. You can always talk to me," you say quietly with a soft voice tone. You want him to feel safe around you as much as you feel safe around him. But you just failed.

"I could handle loosing my mind, my arm, my self-control because Steve was here. But now he left me and... I just don't think I can handle it, so I try to keep myself occupied," he starts to explain, the plain pretty clear in his voice. You don't interruped him but you wrap you wrap your arms around him back, holding him warmly in your loving embrace.

"I didn't mean to hurt you doll, I'm just so weak since he left," you shush him and stroke his torso with your thumbs.

"I know Buck it's okay, you're not weak," you mumur with a soft voice, holding him closer and tighter. He puts his hands above yours on his torso.

"The cinema it's just... I didn't do that since 1942 doll," Bucky keep explaining, his tone no more harsh at all. Your expression softens even more as he turns to look at you. "Going to the movie theater, it was always with Steve or... Rebecca," you look up in his blue eyes and grab his hand gently in your. If Steve was a hard topic now, Bucky's little sister completly taboo most of time. You understand that he's really opening to you right now. Your thumb stroke the back of his calloused hand in a soothing manner.

"I don't wanna bring up bad memories or force you into anything baby. But maybe it's the right moment to try things again? You can't stop doing all the things you did in the forties," you tell him with a soft voice.

Bucky sighs one more time, squeezing your hand gently.

"I'm scared- I don't want to go and find out everything is different. It'll remind me of Steve and het but at the same time prooving me they're both gone for real..." he pass a hand on his face again and you can see his internal conflict mixed with this sadness in his eyes.

"It's okay baby," you say as you put your other hand on his cheek. "I know you're doing your best and you're doing great."

You try to catch his gaze and when his eyes meets yours you smile warmly. "What do you think about staying here instead and cuddling in front of a movie with Alpine?"

Bycky chuckles slightly, his eyes full of tender and love, "Sounds good to me doll," you got on your tip-toes and leave a small kiss on his lips. He squeezes your hand again and lean in for another kiss, deeper this time.

"I love you doll," he mumbles as he put his forehead against yours. Your smile widen, "I love you too Buck."

[gravityrises]

The Virtues of Stanford Pines

Summary: I've seen people accuse Ford of doing horrible things on one side, and people defending his actions on the other side. But how about we turn the tables and talk about all of the good Ford has done. (At least, that was the plan.)

Word Count: 2813.

Spoilers: Gravity Falls series, Journal 3, The Book of Bill, Lost Legends, thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com

1. He's incredibly hard-working:

Just because someone is smart doesn't mean they don't put a lot of effort into studying and Ford definitely did. It's mentioned twice just in "A Tale of Two Stans," when he tries to convince the college board to give him another chance and when he describes his years at Backupsmore.

And it doesn't stop at intellectual pursuits. In Journal 3 Ford says he exercises daily, despite having always hated physical activity.

Anyway, I don't think anyone is going to argue this point, so let's leave it at that.

2. He's supportive of his friend:

There are going to be a few controversial takes, but I truly believe that Ford was trying to be a good friend to Fiddleford. Now, there were fights between them, and Ford did say quite a few insensitive things both to his face and in the Journal. But overall, I don't think he ever intended to hurt Fiddleford, and he definitely appreciated his friend's company.

When Ford invited Fiddleford to work on the portal, he wrote in the journal: "He (Fiddleford) has sacrificed so much to come to my aid. He has temporarily left his bride and their young son... he has abandoned his own professional aspirations... I must do my best to make him feel at home.... I am off to the store for some banjo strings and microchips!" (quote shortened, because I'm lazy) Clearly, Ford cared about his friend and wanted to make him feel welcome.

He also compliments Fiddleford's "brilliant mind," "amusing quirks" and scrupulous work ethic, by saying "I double-check my equations. He quintuple-checks!"

And I hear you, didn't he claim the complete opposite in the series? According to him, Fiddleford "was wasting his talent trying to make personal computers", right? Well, if we ignore the fact that the creators weren't 100% consistent in their writing, here's how I would reconcile those two statements. Ford thought (erroneously) that his friend's research wasn't important in the grand scheme of things, but it was important to Fiddleford personally. And can you really blame Ford? He was about to demostrate the existence of other dimensions and create a gateway that would allow us to visit them. If something like that happened irl, it would've been a groundbreaking discovery, altering our very understanding of the natural world and how it works. Meanwhile, laptops, at least in Ford's opinion, were just "heavy, slow journals." Still, he knew this work was important to Fiddleford, and he wanted to accommodate that. Hence, his trip to buy microchips (and banjo strings.)

Ford tried (and unfortunately, failed) to help Fiddleford deal with his anxiety. In Journal 3, he mentions teaching Fiddleford some meditation techniques and going to the Carnival, so that Fiddleford would enjoy "a day of relaxation." In the Book of Bill, Ford feels guilty about not getting his friend a gift and decides to throw a surprise Christmas party instead. This was also an attempt to cheer Fiddleford up after his fight with his wife.

"But Ford didn't take Fiddleford's anxiety seriously, and it ruined his life." Okay, let's say you're right. Remember, Ford was raised in the 60s. A time when mental illness or just mental distress were looked down on. What was he supposed to do? Suggest Fiddleford goes to the therapist? I mean, they were studying paranormal creatures, if Fiddleford told those stories to a therapist who didn't believe in these things, there would've been a really high chance of misdiagnosis. Should Ford have simply fired Fiddleford? Well, that wouldn't have been very nice. Also, there is no need to infantilize Fiddleford in the first place, he's a grown-up person capable of makind his own decisions. If the job is too stressful, if the relationship doesn't work out, he has every right to leave, because his life and mental well-being are his responsibility. Instead, he ignored Ford's warnings and decided to use the Memory Gun and start a cult. It was, by the end of the day, Fiddleford's decision. And it's tragic. It really is. No one deserves to lose their family, their mind and their sense of self. It's something Ford feels guilty about, because whether it was intentional or not, he did indirectly contribute to Fiddleford's downfall. That's why, when they finally reunited after 30 years, Ford apologized to Fiddleford. And according to Journal 3, Fiddleford dissmised his apology, leading Ford to say that "Not only is this man's mind superior to mine, but he has one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen."

3. He has no reservations about helping others out:

There's a reason why Ford's the first person people turn to, when there's a problem. He has both the desire and the skills to help people out. Using Dipper's idea, he stops agents from investigating his family. He goes above and beyond just to change a lightbulb in the kitchen. Though morally questionable, he did give the kids a mind control tie with the intent of helping Stan win the elections. In the comics, Stan turns to Ford when Mabel's face is stolen and when Stan himself is cursed by an old chest.

And that's how things were in the past too. In "The Pines Boys in: The Jersey Devil's in the Details", Ford defends his brother, twice. First, when Filbrick accuses Stan of stealing the gold chain from his pawn shop. And then, when the Sibling Brothers offered Ford to let him keep the monster and become famous in exchange for photos that would prove Stan's guilt. And just to add an incentive, they threatened to frame both twins, if Ford didn't comply. Obviously, it didn't work.

According to thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com, that's also how he became friends with Fiddleford: on the very first day, he spent nine hours helping his new friend prove his theory. And in the Book of Bill, when Ford learns that Bill's home dimension was destroyed by a monster, his immediate reaction is to offer help with hunting it down.

Whenever someone's in distress, Ford really wants to help them out, and I don't know about you, but to me that doesn't sound like someone lacking empathy.

4. He's got no qualms questioning the status quo:

In Journal 3, Ford mentions traveling to Northwest Manor to confront Old Man Northwest with evidence of his family's deceit. Instead, he was met by young Preston, who wasn't impressed with his speech and forcibly escorted Ford from the premises.

Also in Journal 3, Ford wanted to debate politics with Reagan. Make of that what you will.

Now this one is more of a conjecture, but in the Book of Bill, this is how Bill compliments him: "Guys as smart as you come along once every century, and they scare the pants off of authority figures!" This lie wouldn't have worked, if it wasn't what Ford actually wanted.

And of course, learning that his former "muse" is one of the most feared beings in the entire multiverse, didn't stop Ford from going on a quest to defeat Bill. Even after witnessing other creatures shriek and cover their ears at the mere mention of Bill's name. Which leads me to my next point.

5. Calling him determined would be a massive understatement:

Forget his sleepless nights at college, forget his extensive research in Gravity Falls, Ford has spent 30 years, let me repeat that again, 30 years traveling across dimensions and looking for a way to destroy Bill Cipher. I haven't even been alive for that long! From the little we know about those years, they were anything but easy. In fact, Ford describes them as "frightening, exciting, cruel, and strange." (And of course, the guy actually does use the Oxford comma in his writing. Who would've thought?) Let me stress that Ford was under no obligation to continue his quest, maybe he could've found a quiet dimension to settle down and live peacefully, in fact, that's something he contemplates while visiting A Better World in Journal 3. But he decides against it. Not because he didn't want to, he literally says that he wanted to revel in his parallel self's success. Not because defeating Bill would get him recognition. It wouldn't, at least not in his home dimension, where no one is even aware of the danger. No, he didn't stay, because his own conscience wouldn't allow it. Ford just couldn't break his vow from 30 years ago, it's as simple as that.

And what does he do, when his plans fall apart? Does he even consider giving up? Of course not! In fact, he ends his tale of interdimensional travel with the following sentence: "My resolve to defeat Bill has never been stronger." It's almost comical, watching him throw anything he can think of at Bill and see what might stick. His battle in the Nightmare Realm was interrupted? He jumps through the portal to stop Bill's forces from entering his dimension. The portal created an interdimensional rift? He tries to contain it. Bill threatens to get his hands on the rift? This time Ford has two ideas: he tries to encrypt Dipper's thoughts and creates a mystical barrier around the house. The worst happens and the world is about to end? Well, get in loser, we're going to shoot Bill with Quantum Destabilizer. Ford misses and is captured? Not to worry, there's a Zodiac prophecy, we can give that a try. It doesn't work, because two grown men can't put aside their grievances for just a few seconds, gosh that scene is so frustrating to watch. Well, here is another idea: one can erase Bill with a memory gun as long as he's in someone's mind. I don't know what else to say, Ford really did his homework, when he set out to destroy Bill.

6. He has the patience of a saint:

Wow, now here's a controversial take. Remember Stan's "Beep boop. I am a nerd robot. That's you. That's what you sound like," which Ford just laughs off. Yes, that's what siblings do all the time. And yes, this teasing does come from a place of hurt. Stan was feeling like "the stupid twin," "a dumb idiot who screws everything up," so Ford felt like he just had to put up with this. But it's still hurtful to be mocked for your interests. It really feels like their relationship was already a little strained even before the Science Fair Project Incident.

What about the fact that he was the first to stop the fight in "Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons" and suggesting Stan might actually have fun, if he joined their game?

Or all the snide comments Stan made, when they reunited during Weirdmageddon, including "Well, he's lost his mind" and "You really think some caveman graffiti is gonna stop that monster?" All of which Ford simply ignored. Yes, he did correct Stan's grammar under the worst of circumstances, I agree, but you know, everyone has their pet peeves.

What people often forget is just how difficult it is to be a kind person, when you're stressed. It is much easier to treat people with respect and understanding, when you yourself are doing fine. So is it that big of a surprise, that someone who's under pressure, sleep-deprived and/or in pain might be more prone to outbursts? And we know how traumatic Ford's experience of being bullied as a kid was, how much suffering Bill put him through, how difficult his years on the other side of the portal were and how much pressure he was under, trying to prevent a literal end of the world. It's ironic that the people who blame Ford for his lack of empathy, really don't show him any empathy themselves.

7. Even under torture, he didn't reveal the equation that would've allowed Bill to take over the world:

Do I really have to spell it out? Look, as someone who was on the verge of mental breakdown from a simple toothache, I have nothing else to say other than: This is admirable. And he did it to protect the world that, need I remind you, wasn't particularly kind to him. On the same note, he just never joined Bill in the first place: not in the 80s, and not during Weirdmageddon.

"Oh, but he's the one who started the Apocalypse, so he kind of deserved it." Seriously? No, I mean it, are you being serious? Is that something you would say to a person suffering from diabetes type 2, that it's their fault for eating too many sweets; or to someone with liver cirrhosis that they deserve to suffer because of their alcohol addiction? Because this is neither appropriate, nor helpful. Talk about kicking someone when they're down...

8. He's fiercely loyal to his family:

I think the way Ford compliments his grandniece in "The Last Mabelcorn" is very revealing: "You've protected your family. You're a good person, Mabel." His very definition of a "good person" is "someone who supports and protects their family." Which is... interesting to say the least, considering that Ford has spent a very long time away from his family and completely alone. But it does sound like something he aspires to. That's why he goes out of his way to help his family out, whenever they're in trouble. (See point 3 for more on this.)

When Bill threatens the kids, Ford is willing to risk the entire universe for a slim chance that they might be spared. It's a cruel Trolley Problem, which once again proves just how much he values his family. Still, this is some Fate/Zero level angst and I don't want to talk about it more than I absolutely have to. Let's finish this up with something more lighthearted.

9. He's never lost curiosity and childlike wonder:

This! This is what made me fall in love with the man and why I'm wasting my time writing this nonsense in the first place. This allconsuming excitement, when he finds a new anomaly to study; this seemingly endless energy, when he explores new places; this pure joy, when he gets to play DD&MD with Dipper! I don't know how to talk about it without gushing.

Ford obviously loves games, and not just DD&MD. He plays chess with Bill. He mentions being great at charades in the comics. And what cracks me up the most: during Weirdmageddon, when Pacifica compared the Zodiac to a game of hopscotch, not only did not Ford get offended, but he replied: "It would be a pretty fun game of hopscotch." Ford, darling, the world is about to end, is this really the best time to contemplate a hypothetical game of hopscotch? Also, you've just been through something traumatic... Forget it, you've been through 3 decades of traumatic experiences, can you at least have the decency to become a tad more cynical as you age, like the rest of us. I guess, mirth really is the mail of anguish. (It's from Emily Dickinson's poem and the quote means that some people act cheerful to hide their suffering.)

Also, something Ford doesn't get enough credit for, mostly because people usually focus on his academic achievements, but he is quite creative. He draws incredibly detailed sketches not only depicting various anomalies he encounters, but also whatever happens in his life. (Probably off-topic, but I find the implications of that karaoke page so funny. Think about it: the guy sobered up, looked at the incomprehensible nonsense he had written the previous night and thought: "You know what? This could really use an illustration.") Also don't forget that he canonically plays piano. Yeah, if I were Stan, I'd be jealous too.

And of course, that's why he's so passionate about science. Sure, part of him wants the fame and recognition that would come, if he makes a big discovery, but you can't deny that he genuinely enjoys learning new things. And that he enjoys sharing them with whoever is willing to listen.

In conclusion, I'm not trying to say that Ford is perfect in every way and has never done a single wrong thing in his life. To be honest, that would've made him a really boring character. So, yes, he is flawed, and misguided, and sometimes insensitive. He's made a lot of missteps because of his upbringing, personality and, as many have speculated, neurodivergence. But I really take issue with people saying Ford's a bad person, when he clearly isn't. Ford is and always was a good person, and by the end of all the trials he became a better person. One who understands that the only way to success is cooperation, not being a lone vigilante. That it's not a weakness to ask for help or to need help in the first place. And that a sea otter shared is a sea otter halved.

That's strange... why did I write that?

[coichii]

SUNFLOWER - HAN

pairing - spiderman!bf!han ��︎ fem!reader

genre: angst & comfort

word count: 1.8k

warnings: cursing, reader thinks Han died, shitty writing that I thought was good at first

summary : Han led a double life, being your loveable boyfriend to Spiderman in the blank of an eye, obviously always putting himself in harms way for the sake of Brooklyn. You knew this about him, doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare you to death whenever he gets hurt.

A tap on the window stops your thoughts.

It’s 10pm on a Tuesday, so a knock on the window of your 7 floor apartment building in the middle of a dangerous city isn’t very, well, welcoming.

Carefully, you stand up, not failing to grab the hard baseball bat laying in you closet for moments like these.

Slowly and quietly, you make your way to the window, opening it and putting your weapon into batting position before your eyes lock onto the man behind the glass.

“Woah woah, baby. It’s just me.” Han defends, holding his arms in the air as if he had just been wrongly convicted. “Why do you have the bat.”

“Damnit Hannie! How many times have I told you to stop doing that!” You huff out, dropping the baseball bat out your hands as he chuckles and climbs in.

“Hey, honey~.” He teases in a sing song voice, wrapping his arms around your torso after closing the window. You can feel the warmth of his body, but you’re still upset.

“I’m going to seriously hit you if you keep doing that.” You pout, turning your head from him in fake anger; it’s hard to be mad at him for long.

“Don’t worry, cutie. It won’t hurt anyways.” He winks, causing an even deeper pout to form on your lips.

“Hmm, you still upset? Lemme kiss that pout off your lips then.” He grins, then he’s kissing you.

It’s sweet and slow, saying words lips can’t. His hands move from around your torso to your waist, giving the flesh a tight squeeze. You love kisses like these with him so much that you can almost forget what you had seen on tv earlier in the day.

Keyword : almost

A highly wanted criminal had escaped the prison early in the morning, and Han— well, SpiderMan was tasked with stopping him, which he didn’t.

They had ran into eachother near the Brooklyn Museum, and things escalated from there. Spiderman was injured slightly, and while you know that he heals fast, knowing exactly who was under that costume made your heart ache every time he got so much as a scratch on his body.

You pull away slowly, and Han furrows his brows. “Baby, are you still hurt?”

He bites his lip, the look in his eyes turning almost somber. He doesn’t like when you worry about him, not because he doesn’t like the attention, but because it makes him feel guilty.

Sometimes he wishes he could take all the worry you have about him and bury it far away, but he knows that for as long as he wears that suit, you’ll be worried about him.

“I’m fine, y/n. Don’t worry about me, okay?” He consoles, giving you one last peck on the lips. “Why don’t you get some sleep while I finish some paperwork work, hmm, bubs? It’s late.”

You frown at this, studying the look on his face intensely before you move away and sigh.

“Okay. You’ll be in bed soon though right?” You look up at him, and he can’t help but put his smile back on his face.

“In no more than an hour, hun.” He assures, moving towards the bathroom to take a quick shower before starting. “I won’t be long”

You make your way to the one bedroom in your shared apartment, mind still caught up in the events of the day.

You knew that the one who had escaped was very dangerous and had hurt hundreds of people before he was finally locked up for good. The fact that he was now free formed an aura of uneasiness around you and the entirety of New York City, and it was evident.

The streets were quieter; a horrible sign in the city that never seems to sleep. You could feel it in the air that everyone was on high alert, including your boyfriend.

The paper work he was doing? All of it was connected to him. He was a serious threat, and it was scaring you. The last thing you wanted was for Han to get seriously injured.

It’s happened once before when you guys had already been dating for a while, right around the time he told you that he was Spiderman.

He got beat up pretty brutally, and it had struck a fear in you that you hadn’t even known existed.

The fear of losing him.

That night when he returned, you held on to him and cried for hours. He desperately tried to comfort you, running his hands across your back and telling you he was fine.

Even if he was though, you’d still worry about him.

How could you not.

◂—♥︎—▸

It’s 5pm now, and you had just got off of work.

As you walk through the city, the feelings of brisk, autumn air soothing you, you realize it’s been too quiet. Even quieter than it had been yesterday.

You hadn’t been on your phone since it’s muted during your work hours, and you like to keep it that way until you get to your apartment, but you’re starting to think you should check it.

Nevertheless, you keep your regular pattern, walking until you reach the familiar building and door, walking in.

The anxiety is still eating at you, so you’re not surprised when you find your self turning on your TV and going to your local news station.

What does surprise you though, is when you see a live video of Spiderman laying on the harsh concrete clutching his side.

The air leaves your lungs, being filled with something else. Something thin, something dreadful.

It’s fear.

Your fearful eyes are glued to the screen. You want to look away, but it’s as if there’s an invisible force forcing you to stare at the TV.

It’s your worst fear broadcasted on live television, and there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is let the tears roll pitifully down your cheeks as the reports ramble on and on about his health, but you don’t want to listen. All you can do is pray.

Pray that those days where he held you weren’t going to come to an end. Pray that the times where he would swoop you up and take you to the roof of various buildings wouldn’t come to a close. Pray that even while it pissed you off, he would still be crawling through that window in your bedroom at the dead of night. That’s all you needed.

Him.

◂—♥︎—▸

You don’t know how long you had been there, but you don’t flinch when you hear the apartment door crack open.

You do move when you see who walks through the door.

There, a very beat up Jisung makes his way through the door, bruises and scars littering his arms. Cuts are all over his pretty face, causing a red tint all over. That’s all you can see through his tank top and long pants, but you know it must be worse.

You don’t know how you process all that, because once you register that it’s him, your running towards him faster than you’ve ever ran.

“J-Ji.?” You manage to stutter out, touching his skin delicately as if he could shatter, and honestly, you were scared he would. “Ji! O-oh my god! I t-thought you d-died!”

He grabs onto your hips, pulling you into his chest and rubing your back to console you. It usually works, but today, it’s only making the tears flow harder.

“What? Sweetheart, I’m fi-“ but you weren’t hearing it.

“Fine..? FINE!? You were not fine! I watched you lay there on the ground almost dead and you want to tell me you were fine?! I don’t know how much longer I can sit there and watch you ALMOST DIE, just for you to come home and say you’re fine, Han! I can’t take it.”

Your rambling angrily, stopping when you read the look in hans eyes.

fear & despair

“W-what do you mean by how much longer. Please don’t m-mean what I think you mean.” You can see the tears forming in his eyes as he pieces together your words and your shacked with guilt, taking a deep breath before speaking again.

“No. I don’t mean that at all. I-I’m just emotional. Just g-give me a minute to think, and then we can talk.” You whisper that last sentence, turning around and walking out of the shared living room, leaving behind a very shattered Jisung standing there, hand out as if to reach for you, but missing.

Missing by a long, long, shot.

◂—♥︎—▸

It’s not too long until you find yourself walking out of the bedroom, finding Han laying on the couch, seemingly staring into nothing, and this only makes you feel more guilty.

“Hey.” You start, seeing as Hans head swiftly turns towards your direction, eyebags heavy.

Have these tears always been blocking your vision?

“Listen. I am so, so, so sorry for how I acted. It was so wrong of me to yell and scream at you when you were still injured, especially to the point you would think I would even ever consider breaking up with you. I don’t want you to think being Spiderman is a burden for me, I was just emotionally overwhelmed and I am sorry.” You start, watching as his eyes slowly start to twinkle with tears.

Have these tears always been rolling down your cheeks?

“I just…can’t stand watching you get hurt. The thought of you.. n-not coming home kills me. You mean the most to me that anything or anyone ever has in all of my lifetimes, and the thought of losing you? It fucking scares me. But I shouldn’t have yelled at you or pushed you away. I’m sorry, Ji.”

He’s sat up by now, grabbing your hands in his. His eyes are sunken, and he still has various scars on his face, but the bruises have faded by now. You wish you could kiss all his pain away, but it’s hard to when it’s the emotional kind now and you feel as if it’s your fault.

“It’s okay, I understand. But listen to me, that’s never going to happen. I’m never ever going to leave you here by yourself. You will always have me. Until we grow old and much farther, I will never leave you.”

His words fill you with the sort of comfort you hadn’t felt for a long time, settling the aching in your heart that you carried for longer than you care to remember.

You knew there was going to be countless times where he was going to get endangered in the future, and you were never going to stop worrying about him. But for now, you felt at peace with him, your Spiderman.

Your hero.

back to masterlist

A/N : oh my goodness… proofreading this day of post is hard. I write a story and think it’s hits, then I go back and read it and it’s horrible…

[procyonloser]

Pt 8

After much bed squeaking, panting, moaning, and appeals to deities Lucifer only maybe kind of sort of believed in on a bad day, Adam pushed himself off of Lucifer, and fell onto the bed beside him. He had a happy lazy look on his face, eyes still glazed from what Lucifer hoped was a phenomenal orgasm.

Lucifer reached down and tidied himself up quickly, throwing his condom away, enjoying how slick it felt on the outside before it went in the bin. Adam had been amazing, best sex Lucifer had had since before he was married.

"You pass," Adam said fondly, and Lucifer laughed.

"I didn't know I was being tested." Lucifer preened slightly under the compliment. "You know, I'm a perfectionist, what score did I get?"

"Me, I'm the score." Adam grinned cheekily, moving in closer to Lucifer's body, until Lucifer was practically resting his head on his shoulder. "I really didn't know what to expect from you, in general. I thought you were cute immediately, but Lute always tells me I have shit taste. But, most people don't make anglerfish jokes with me. Plus, you seem like a good dad, and I could use that. I mean, I do my job well, but I'm kind of a mess. Seriously, I'm never taking you to my apartment."

Lucifer felt his heart grow, and he leaned up to kiss Adam, even though he'd been kissing him (everywhere) all night, it still didn't exactly feel like enough. Was this what love at first sight felt like? Maybe Lucifer was getting ahead of himself, but it seemed pretty clear that Adam wanted more dates.

They didn't talk much more for a few minutes, just enjoying one another, leisurely kissing, touching, feeling each other. Until Lucifer's phone buzzed on the side table, and he was forced to retrieve it and look at the message. Apparently, Charlie had woken up in the middle of the night wanting her dad, and Lilith had just calmed her down, but thought Lucifer should know.

"You and the ex seem on good terms," Adam said, clearly having read the message beside him.

"Yeah, I mean. She destroyed my heart a few years ago, but we're okay now." Lucifer laughed, but it hid a not so deep hurt, one that kept the ring on his finger. "We had Charlie when things were starting to go south between us, which was a bad idea."

Adam made a noise of acknowledgement, but his expression grew slightly more closed off. "Yeah, never helps." He said, sitting up and resting his arms on his knees. "... My ex and I tried to have a kid at one point."

Lucifer blinked, eyes going big, before glancing down at Adam. "Did you... Were you?"

"...Yup," Adam said quietly. "...Only lasted till the end of the first term. I didn't want to try again after."

Lucifer's shoulders fell, and he moved in closer, wrapping an arm around Adam, to the best of his ability, given their size differences. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, but thanks." Adam said with a sideways smile. "Do you want to go out some time with Charlie too? I know a few kid friendly places."

"Anything with you," Lucifer said honestly, and Adam kissed him.

"You're so corny, I love it."

[velvetvexations]

a trend i've noticed when it comes to discussions around transandrophobia, specifically people's reactions to it, is that anti-transphobia people are very prone to cherrypicking

i almost never see the well thought out and reasoned posts discussing transandrophobia responded to at all by self-identified tmes who are transandrophobes and transradfems/TIRFs. the only posts they put up on their blogs as evidence of "the real nature of transandrophobia truthers" are ridiculously bad faith posts they found randomly that have like 2 notes and no one in the greater discussion takes seriously or backs up. in fact trans men discussing transandrophobia frequently do call out transmisogyny that does crop up.

but suspiciously they have NOTHING to say in response to the posts that actually talk about the theory, or evidence of transandrophobia and transandrophobic violence, none of that. they actively erase those discussions either by refusing to engage with them or by cropping out most of the post to completely misrepresent what's being said, because they probably know doing so will reveal to their circle, their followers, and themselves just how bigoted they are actually being. so instead they go hunting for the worst posts they can find to support confirmation bias and propagandize people against trans men

i think a lot of people have a strong vested in interest in ensuring that trans men can continue to be treated in this way, broadly and within these more niche queer and trans discussion circles. because i think a lot of people have gotten very used to and attached to the fact they have someone they can punch at with little to no consequence (or in fact be cheered on for it). furthermore, a lot of the support structures of their platforms rely on transandrophobia because a lot of their blogging is in response to a manufactured enemy in trans men. and also because people feel good having someone they can punch and feel powerful over. and i know at the end of the day these people are probably hurting in a myriad of ways as well and are lashing out but i only have so much patience and compassion for them when it has become as bad as it has

anyway i know this is kind of rambly so i hope it made sense. i just see so many great posts by trans men participating in the discussion and every time i look at the notes to see how people are engaging with what is being said, none of those big names you mentioned ever do. they never have any thing to say to those posts. and you can't tell me they aren't aware of them because i know they often stalk the blogs of the trans men in question. they're more interested in erasure and a manufactured image that they cultivate and control of trans men. if the word of those trans men's posts actually gets out to their audiences, said audiences might realize just how much they really are just transphobic frauds. i hope people will wake up and smell the coffee some day.

Some arguments rely entirely on keeping your audience from seeing what's being said. They know I've never harassed anyone or directed my followers to but but I was getting instantly blocked well before those accusations sprung up entirely because I left one disagreeing comment.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Cause and Effect

ok this is overdone i feel but i love your writing. something abkut the effects the sides have on themselves? virgil being super anxious and logan overwhelmed and similar things? something w janus? with a good portion of hurt comofrt? love your fics!! – anon

Hi! I love your writing so so so much. I do have a request for you, if you want it: Headcanon that Remus, being responsible for intrusive thoughts, is also responsible for any earworms Thomas gets. Which, he mostly uses to his advantage. Except. He unironically likes Taylor Swift and is terrified of that information getting out because it will ruin his image/he won’t be taken seriously. – anon

I hope you’re having a good week! I was wondering if I could request a hurt/comfort fic with one of the Sides being really bad about announcing/enforcing boundaries, because “it probably means more to them than it does to me” “it’s not that bad” “I can deal with it”. Thank you for considering!! – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: self-esteem issues, panic attacks, anxiety attacks

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 2954

Patton doesn't always remember that he has feelings, too. Logan works…a lot. Virgil lives his life looking over his shoulder. Janus has gotten so good at lying to everyone that it's a wonder he even knows what the truth is himself. Remus wears shame like a badge of honor and the sweater he just can't manage to make himself throw away. Roman is tired. The Sides struggle. The Sides help each other.

Patton doesn't always remember that he has feelings, too.

He's at the center of Thomas's feelings, of course, and that means he's feeling a lot of things that aren't necessarily his all the time. Thomas is happy, he's happy. Thomas is sad, the entire world might be ending. Thomas is angry, he has to hide everything that looks even vaguely orange because something might explode. Thomas is depressed, he finds it hard to even get out of bed.

That extends to the Sides somewhat too; all of them experience heightened emotions, a wonderful by-product of being metaphysical and in the Mindscape. So that means that anything that might happen to them will happen in greater intensity than it would in the 'real world.' But sometimes that can be a little hard to handle, especially if they aren't used to it. For Roman, it looks like being stuck at the worst part of a tragic monologue for hours, for Logan, it looks like that one question on a test that you just can't answer, for Virgil, it's the quiet and unsettling feeling of having something just over your shoulder all the time, for Janus, it's the itch that you just can't scratch, for Remus, it's the noise that's just at the wrong frequency.

It's hard, it's hard for all of them, and so Patton takes it upon himself to help them through it. He takes Roman's hands and just holds them, trying to make him see that he doesn't have to perform, not now, not with him. He sits with Logan and they just talk, about nothing, about everything, until Logan can smile just a little and everything feels better. He puts a pair of headphones on Virgil and wraps him up in a weighted blanket, leaned against his chest. He spoils Janus with a spa day until their favorite snake is too tired to do anything but sleep. And he sings with Remus, as loud and off key as they can, until that's all they can hear.

It's good. It's fun. It's worth it to take care of his kiddos. But sometimes things we say when we're hurting can make other people hurt, and it's important to take care of that too.

Sometimes Patton forgets that. Sometimes he mumbles it's okay, they didn't mean it, through his own tears. Sometimes he has to go and be by himself for a while before he can come back and face them again. Sometimes he has to just…remind himself that they're hurting, and that's what's important.

That isn't true, of course, and when the rest of them find out, it's easy to see that they love him too. They play games until their sides hurt from laughing so much, they crowd around the kitchen to bake cookies and brownies and all manner of sweet treats, they watch movies and cuddle on the couch until they all fall asleep. And when he's upset, because he gets upset too, they all come into his room and tell him how much he means to them until the curtains turn blue again.

***

Logan works…a lot.

There is something to be said for how subtle yet pervasive the concept of Logic is. On first glance, one would associate it primarily with academics, math in particular, or some such thing that is so purely intellectual that it might seem limited in its application. When in reality, when you examine it further, there is some hint of Logic in just about everything that you do, and so there is no escape from the things that you must use it for in order to do it correctly.

Logan has a lot of work. Logan has a lot of work. He has so much work, in fact, that if he stopped to think about how much work he has, he would become so daunted by the prospect of staring at such a tall hill that he would never be able to conquer it. Best to deal with things one problem at a time, take them step by step, and make sure that he doesn't stop to consider the sheer magnitude of what he's doing.

Perhaps this isn't the healthiest way to go about it. Perhaps he would be better suited to breaking down things into more manageable hills, getting over them one step at a time, that sort of thing, but he has no time for that. In the time it would take to do that, the first of the manageable hills would already have become unmanageable by the time he got back to them. So this is how it must be, working and working and working until there is a big enough pause for him to catch his breath.

The others…are not fond of this. Surely, he accounts for enough time to spend with them, but it isn't easily won. It's fraught with the thoughts of what else he could be doing, a passing worry that he's missing something egregious, that he would be better suited to getting all of his work done before allowing himself a break. But that is not the nature of resting, that is the nature of rotting, even if Logan cannot actually give himself a break.

When they find out, they drag him away from his work and into the Imagination, into a library so full of wonder and curiosity that he has no choice but to stop thinking about his work and instead, chase the things he's actually interested in. He darts from bookshelf to bookshelf, peppering the others with did you know, did you know, did you know, and nothing they could say back will be as rewarding as seeing his eyes light up with excitement for the first time in…they can't remember how long it's been.

***

Virgil lives his life looking over his shoulder.

His existence is a constant struggle of did we remember to do this, did we forget this, what if this happens, this is going to go wrong, everything's going to explode in our faces. Every time they so much as leave the house, it's a war of keeping himself together just long enough to make it back so they don't have an embarrassing meltdown in the middle of…wherever they happen to be. The grocery store, the gym, even the fucking sidewalk. It's like walking through the world where there are big flashing neon signs everywhere he turns, each warning about something else awful and terrible, and yet somehow everyone else is able to completely ignore them.

It's terrifying.

And what's worse is that he knows if he so much as breathed a word of this to any of them, they wouldn't believe him. They'd do something like laugh and say he's just freaking out over nothing—which he knows, that's not doing anything to stop it from happening in the first place—or try and rationalize it out of him. Which won't work either, because he knows he's being irrational, that's why he's so mad about it in the first place, but realizing what's happening and being able to do something about it are two different things.

Being able to get himself grounded becomes more of a necessity than anything else. This big hoodie that lets him become an amorphous blob, the heavy things in his pockets he can squeeze when the temptation to break something gets too much, the headphones and earbuds he keeps stashed everywhere with the phone charger clipped to his belt because if he can't listen to music at a moment's notice, he might actually break down in tears. He has to keep himself alert, because if something's going to go wrong, he's going to need to notice it quickly so he can get everyone else on board and safe before it wrecks the rest of their lives.

And when he manages to shove that out of his mouth in an absolute mess of words, he's greeting not with laughs and teases, but with open arms and kind words. He's bundled into Remus's arms and Roman lies on top of them as Janus chuckles, hands carding through his hair to help silence the worst of the mumblings that something's going to go wrong. Logan takes his hand and squeezes it in the rhythm for breathing exercises as Patton sings something soft under his breath.

They're all in the same room. They're all safe. They're all going to be okay.

He can do this. He can do this.

He can do this.

***

Janus has gotten so good at lying to everyone that it's a wonder he even knows what the truth is himself.

Stories need antagonists. A narrative needs something to help it wind its way around all the twists and turns to make it into something worth following. If that means that the truth needs to be a little harder to find, that something needs to go a little wrong before it can be set to rights, well, he's happy to play the part. He's happy to thrill at the surprised looks he gets from the naive little heroes, the shock and betrayal on their faces when they realize he's tricked them, to cackle as they scramble to figure out what to do next.

He's equally thrilled to watch them squirm as he pokes and prods at their comfort zones. Challenging anyone who appears to be steadfast is endlessly entertaining, after all, and he can hardly blame himself when he's rewarded with such passionate monologues or fiery outbursts that end in grudging admittance that maybe he had a point all along. He's never been one to refrain from being smug, after all, and it would be a crime to deprive people of the right to see him in all his victorious glory.

Sometimes, though, that victory feels a little hollow. When it stops being a surprise and more of a resignation, when it's no longer something that they rise to meet but hunker down to grin and bear…when he wins, trouncing them soundly, and they take it on the chin and keep moving…that's not what this is for. He's here to make all of them feel a little something, even if it starts out badly, they should be proud of themselves when they outsmart him, out-think him, even when they don't win but they come close. He's a thorn in their side, not the sword that guts them before they have so much as a chance to say anything. And there's only so much fun that can be had toying with them before it feels like he's kicking a puppy for no reason.

He makes Roman cry once. He just stands there, staring at Janus, waiting for it to be over with tears streaming down his face. And when Janus stammers that yes, he's…he's done, Roman just leaves.

He doesn't want to just be the bad guy. He doesn't want them to think he doesn't care for them. He doesn't want them to be hurt, not…not in any way that actually matters.

He takes it on the chin, as he's seen them do, but it gets harder. Walking the line between fulfilling the role he's made for himself and actually being cruel is difficult, and tensions stretch further and further until one day, he can't do it and he has to retreat to his room and spend the rest of the day puzzling about how to fix this. He's never been the one to actually offer words of comfort. He's been there to lance infections from open wounds, not stitch them back together. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to believe anymore.

Roman comes to him first. Wraps him up in a hug and ignores all his babbling in favor of dragging him to their favorite picnic spot in the imagination. Everyone takes on a different role, just for that day, where Patton is the gardener that helps the baker, Logan, Roman and Remus are the woodcutters that build the cabins, Virgil is the blacksmith and Janus—Janus is the innkeeper. They spin a new story together, one where everyone gets a happy ending.

Stories end, after all, and new ones begin.

***

Remus wears shame like a badge of honor and the sweater he just can't manage to make himself throw away.

He delights in the uncomfortable, luxuriates in the madness, and happily dances along to the songs of the worst things you could ever imagine. His side of the Imagination is chaos and ruin, twisted undergrowth giving way to dark city scapes filled with ne'er-do-wells and the filth from stories that finally get their chance to steal the spotlight. He lovingly tends to his creatures that would send fainter hearts into shock, none more so than his beloved Kraken, Oliver. Shipwrecks litter the bottom of the Imagination's oceans and he couldn't be prouder.

For Remus, chaos is a way of life. He takes the things that normal people would scoff at—just as enthusiastically as he would scoff at them for being so boring—and makes it into art. He builds machines that are needlessly complicated and endlessly horrible. He turns perfect order into perfect disorder with a gleeful squeal. He's the bane of Logan and Roman's existences—one is affectionate, the other decidedly less so—and he steps into his bear traps with a grin on his face.

There are, of course, downsides. He's alone, a lot of the time. No one else really appreciates everything he does, all the hard work that goes into turning his world into the best it can be for him. Sure, they get close sometimes, like when there's an experiment and he and Logan get to go full mad-scientist, or when he and Janus are gleefully stirring all manner of shit up for everyone else, or when he and Roman throw literally everything they can at every sort of wall just to see what might stick. But when those times are over, and he's back to being the same old, messy Remus, he gets…lonely.

Especially when there's something that would make them think he's something else.

He's got a reputation. He's supposed to be dark, twisted, messy, chaotic, that sort of thing. He's annoying, the voices in your head that you just can't get to go away, the song that won't stop playing in your head at 2 in the morning when all you want to do is go to sleep.

He can't exactly expect them to believe him when he says the songs he wants to keep playing are something like…Taylor Swift.

He's got an image to maintain! And that image doesn't go well with, y'know…something like that. He's no stranger to other people's shame, but his own…well, he might get why people hate feeling it so much.

Roman, though, is his brother, and as such gets full rights to both tease him about things and find out whatever he wants to know. And Roman is his brother, which means that he loves him unconditionally. So maybe the two of them can sing along to Taylor Swift at 3 in the morning and if Roman takes the fall for being the one obsessed with her stuff, well, that's for them to know and Janus to find out when he figures out what Roman's lying about this time.

It's fine, they'll just make him listen to 'no body, no crime.' That song's right up his alley.

***

Roman is tired.

He's just…really tired.

Being the prince, being Thomas's Hopes and Dreams, his Creativity—well, half of it—trying to keep everything afloat…it's tiring.

The others don't know this—well, Remus might—but he's the main anchor point between Thomas and the Mindscape. They're all products of Thomas's imagination, which he uses his Creativity to make and interact with, which means that…them, the Mindscape, the Imagination, it's…well, he has to spend a lot of energy to keep it the way it is.

It's tiring.

So sometimes, he doesn't have it in him to play the role. Sometimes he can't focus on staying away long enough to do all the work they want him to do on top of all the stuff they don't know he's doing. And sometimes…sometimes it's just a little bit too much.

They find him on the floor of his room one night, just watching the moon. They gather blankets and pillows and stuffed animals and build a little nest, right there around him. Remus opens the door to the Imagination to lighten a little bit of the load and Logan helps Patton coax Thomas the rest of the way to sleep, letting them shift to the dreaming mind instead.

He's so tired. Surrounded by the others, with his mind at peace, he finally gets some rest.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[ayoharuko]

Love and Deepspace: Boyfriend Headcanons ♡

I really need to start writing more Zanye stuff considering his my type in so many ways, don't get me wrong but I love all of them, however. Zayne was the one who pulled me into the game and made me stay :3

Again, most of the headcanons may or may not be already canon in game. But do not worry, I do have originals I've thought off :3

Reader here is Gender Neutral (They/Them)

If you haven't seen Xavier's part its here!

Warning: Some Spoilers from his Myths and minor swearing.

Reminder: The character belongs to INFOLD/ its respective creators; this is all just fictional work so please try to not take these too seriously :)

♡ Now, we all know that our favorite Doctor loves sweets right? I feel like in his feel time, aka when he doesn't have work and takes a break from the hospital - he'll practice how to bake sweet goodies.

♡ Think about it! He knows how to cook well and his knife skills are exceptional, so he would definitely make baking as a stress relief and hobby.

♡ I imagine him making sweets to either give to the patients in the hospital, or maybe his coworkers too, once they finish another hard day.

♡ Obviously, you'll get most of the treats as your his special person but not only do you get most of the goods - you also get the first taste! He would also ask you for your honest opinion, now if your scared in telling him the truth; don't be. He encourages it so he can improve better in baking :)

♡ While on the convo of cooking and food - we also know that this man can cook very well, not only is the meal balanced but the presentation and taste is immaculate.

♡ Don't worry picky eaters, you won't even taste the veggies he put in the meal so you'll be safe and not gag (At least not from the food yk what I'm sayin-)

♡ Zayne will ALWAYS make time for you. No matter how busy he is, you will always be his top priority.

♡ You are literally the whole exact reason why he choose to be a cardiac surgeon/doctor after all.

♡ That also means he worries over you like a mother hen, sometimes he can be overbearing and too much on the scolding or doting whenever you get injured.

♡ So obviously, that leads to a few fights here and there but you understand that his intentions are all good.

♡ You are the passenger princess ✩

♡ Like. His car will always have snacks that you love, extra necessities, ties and your playlist is saved on his car too!

♡ On his day offs and you guys feel like hiking somewhere far, he would stock up his car filled with stuff that you usually use at your home as he wants you to be as comfortable as possible.

♡ He tries not to spoil you... he tried to put a limit on everything so you don't get your way but your just so fucking adorable and stupid sometimes that he can't resist giving in... kidding he loves you-

♡ Dates would consist of; cat cafes, hiking, going to the gym, trying out cafes, kitty cards but mostly he would prefer to spend time with you at your or his place :)

♡ Love languages would be Acts of service and Quality time.

♡ As mentioned, he would do chores and he'd cook for you. He also prioritizes you over anything, all his time belongs to you... it has always belonged to you.

♡ Despite telling you to always limit your sweets/desert intake, it apparently doesn't apply to him.

♡ You both would frequently visit the dentist as his teeth would hurt from the amount of sweets (and sugar.) he'd consume, one wonders how he hasn't gotten diabetes yet....

♡ Zayne knows that he can come off as aloof or cold so he thinks about the words he says to you before he actually speaks it. Which often saves you both from arguments a lot.

♡ He also makes a point to be honest whilst not hurting your feelings, you won't have to worry about him lying about how you look or the answers he'll give to your questions.

♡ The only thing he'd be dishonest about tho is when his the one in need of help. His so used to not accepting help that he lies that his evol doesn't hurt him; when clearly, it does.

♡ You'd have to be super plushy to make him care enough to take a break for his own well-being, how ironic for being a Doctor right? Well, his thankful that in times when he can't be the doctor, you make sure to step in as a Doctor just for him and him only.

♡ Zayne often has trips to the Arctic; and when he does, he would either take you with him (Which is rarely.) or make sure to update you with pictures of/or with Pie, the scenery and with your requests - his face as well. You both won't be able to video call all the time while his at the arctic because the signal would be weak so he takes pictures instead.

♡ When he does get back from his trip, expect gifts and tea from him. He'll also make sure to kiss you deeply as he definitely missed you a lot.

♡ Cats aren't really fond of him right? You would force take him to cat cafes all the time and try to establish a connection between him and one of the cats! There was only one cat that liked him enough tho- But thats a win for you!

♡ Since its been said that you both do go hiking sometimes, I believe you guys would do some camping as well.

♡ He would take you on a hiking journey up a cliff filled with pretty flowers and Mayne jasmines that he may or may not have planted himself and you both would set up camp there.

♡ He would grill some food, take out the sweets he baked back at his place and cuddle you under the starlight... wishing for this all to last forever.

♡ He gets nightmares right? When he does; all he wants to do is seek you out, but he often feels guilty as he knows you have your own problems... So you have to rely on your 'Zayne Senses' to know whether the nightmares haunt him or not.

♡ When it is haunting him; all you need to do is Lead him to the bed, tuck his head into your chest - just enough so that he can hear your heartbeat while you whisper promises that you're never gonna leave him.

♡ Zayne has learned how to be patient, yet for you? His Patience will be tested. Whether it's you on those week - long missions or you not calling or messaging.

♡ Zayne does skincare..... I firmly believe he has friends that are dermatologists and that they give him skincare products sometimes as a gift. He gives some of them to you too, if it has good benefits or if you just want it.

♡ If you both are living together and your schedules are in-sync; you both would do your skincare routines together.

♡ I believe that Zayne - not only takes care of his body health but also his face - and not in a beauty standard way but in a 'Good looks makes the patient more at ease and would likely trust him more typa way'

♡ However, in months where the hospital gets busy; he develops a little stubble under his chin. Sometimes its on purpose as he likes the way you shave it or the way you sit on his lap if yk yk...

♡ Nicknames that he gives you are so sweet like honey... the way he calls out to you with that sweet nickname he has given you, it instantly fills you with butterflies.

♡ I like to think he'd call you Honey, Sweetheart and My Love a lot... but when your asleep in the comforts of your shared bedroom; he'd whisper My heart and My Jasmine, just soft enough that you could barely hear whilst slipping away to dreamland.

♡ In conclusion, Zayne is just filled of Husband Material ᯓᡣ𐭩

♡ His not perfect by all means (Expect you think he is) but he will do everything in his power to make sure that you'll not only be satisfied but also comfortable.

I had a lot of fun writing Zayne's part! Considering that his my main after all heh.

I hope that you all enjoyed reading Zayne's part and let me know if ya'll want a NSFW Version of these headcanons :)

See you guys on my next post~!

Rafayel's Boyfriend Headcanons, check it out too!

Reblogs are appreciated and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3

(Note: please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platform please inform me.)

[planetpedri]

Apocalypse — João Félix.

Pairing: João Félix x Fem!Reader

Summary: A romantic date on the beach with your boyfriend was supposed to be the alone time you’d been asking for, for the past two weeks. Unfortunately, he couldn’t leave his dog alone at home.

Word count: 565+

Disclaimer/s: fluff , banter , ect !

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS DIVA!! and hello Allur, I hope this was to your liking ^_^ @joaoflms

The wind wisps your hair across your face, the salty air produced by the ocean did little to add to the romantic scenery. Beside you, João walked in slow, even steps, one hand holding yours while the other keeping a tight grip on Floki’s leash.

Your eyes drop from the scenic sunset to the barking dog. Seriously? You had one minute of silence. “Did we have to take him?”

João glances at you, “uh, yeah? He would’ve been so sad at home, all alone.” His explanation was short and definitely not sweet. You loved Floki, you truly did, but, that didn’t mean you wanted him on your dates.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s take the dog on—“

João suddenly lurches forward, taking you down with him. Floki had caught sight of something in the distance and had tugged on his leash unexpectedly. In the midst of trying to reach whatever he saw, the dog had caused an unfortunate sequence of events.

João tumbled to the sand and you fell right on top of him, a loud squeal leaving your mouth. Your boyfriend had managed to keep hold of the leash, thank God.

Scrambling up to a straddling position, you lean over the man, your hands resting in the sand on both sides of his head. “This, João, is exactly why we do not take the damn dog on dates.” Your head dipping down as your body shakes with laughter.

Soon enough, the brunette beneath you is laughing too, his head tilting back into the sand. Floki pads toward the two of you, jumping at your waist. You take the hint and lower yourself down and onto the sand beside your boyfriend, allowing him to climb onto your stomach.

The sounds of waves crashing against the shore mixed in with your breathy laughs. “It’s going to take weeks to get this sand out of my hair.” You finally speak.

“Why does it sound like you’re blaming me?” João’s right eyebrow lifts, his gaze trailing from your face to his dog’s.

“Uh, because you forced me into allowing him to come?” You argue, pushing yourself up to lean back on your arms. “So, it’s completely, one hundred percent, your fault.”

João mirrors your position, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Well, you certainly didn’t put up that much of a fight. So, it’s actually on the both of us. Technically speaking.” His lip curls into an amused grin, one you didn’t know if you wanted to flick off of him, or kiss off of him.

“Loud and wrong.” You shake your head, “now. Can we please just go home? I feel gross and grimy.”

Your boyfriend nods, “yeah, probably a good idea.” Neither of you move though, instead, he tips his head down, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look right now?”

“Yeah, beautiful and sandy. Thanks.” You breathe out through a giggle, “but thank you, anyways.”

“And, I love you.” He continues, eyes flickering to your lips.

Your eyebrows raise. “Are you trying to gain brownie points for something?”

João feigns offense, his hand clasping over his heart in hurt. “I would never do that?! But, if thats an offer..”

“Oh shut up.” You laugh, using one hand to cup his cheek to pull his face into yours. His lips meet yours in a delicate kiss. “I love you, too.” You murmur.

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any of my posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @joaoflms @sakashq @ar4ujos @hrts4havertz @spidybaby !

[aspynnwoofs]

Um. hi. your fanart of Marcy waking up from a nightmare is probably my favorite piece of Amphibia fanart ever. curious what was going through your head when you made it. also what are your headcannons/thoughts about The Core, Marcy, what she experienced while under its control, and its lasting effects on her?

holy shit dude, thanks? i don’t know what i did to deserve all this nice stuff you’re saying, but thanks. also the tags on the reblog were not aggressive or mean or anything, they actually made me super happy to see! i’m really glad you like it.

coming back after writing all the stuff, there’s a lot so i’m putting a ‘keep reading’ thing. seriously there’s so much

what was going through my head… hm. it’s like, i imagine Marcy having lots of nightmares about things that happened to her, or things that could have happened, stuff like that. i’ve read a lot of fanfic so now i really like the idea of her clutching her shirt when remembering being impaled. or even just for comfort, to know that her weakest point is covered in moments of terror. also she’s crying. sobbing. the only times she recovers quickly after bad nightmares is when she’s with the others.

i really like the idea of the Core not only sticking her in a box in her mind, but also showing her things. like to keep her from trying to get out. can’t resist if your mind is shattered and devoid of hope! anyway i mean like using the illusions to show her various things, situations, people. more peaceful ones where she’s with her girls, only to realize they aren’t there. terrifying ones where they make her live through her worst memories, her betrayal (of her and by her), her death, her torture and possession. twisted situations where Anne and Sasha proclaim that they can’t be seen with her, they can’t trust her, even hate her for what she’s done. sometimes the Core sticks her in unending darkness so they don’t have to think of anything, or if they’re focused on something else and need her out of the way (this is where the thing about being unable to sleep or feel safe in complete darkness is from). sometimes they’ll make a fake scene where it seems as though she is being shown what her body is doing, she can see through her eyes, and then she hurts people. kills people. sometimes it will be real, but she doesn’t know that, and she will still hurt people. when whoever in the Core in charge of her is feeling particularly cruel, they’ll do a simulation of her being saved. rescued. freed. forgiven. she’s finally with her girls. but. she isn’t. she’s still here. of course they didn’t save her, why would they? she’s a horrible person, and she did so much unforgivable stuff? why would they ever want to save someone like her? (shit this is long, yeesh. well i’m having fun soo-) sometimes Anne and Sasha kill her as she’s possessed, because she needs out of the way, and her life doesn’t matter anyway. sometimes they free her and then take their fury at her out on her by hurting her.

recovery from that is incredibly hard. when she’s rescued, she doesn’t believe it. firmly denies it, hides from them, tries to keep them from hurting her, curls into a ball and refuses to acknowledge them. because they aren’t real, they aren’t. hasn’t she been through this enough? it takes the others a while to convince her she’s in reality, and that yes, they do really forgive her. she’s actually completely free.

later in life she has trouble discerning reality from her nightmares. she has insane trust issues. she can’t walk, not by herself. she’s terrified of fire, because fire is what impaled her, killed her, and fire is the color of the eyes that haunt her. a small zap of static electricity is enough to send her into a flashback of her possession, of the chair, of fire and lightning and code flowing into her, burning burning burning. once someone tried to calm her by grabbing her wrists, which only sent her further. the cuffs. they chained her down. she can’t move she can’t move! the color orange makes her nervous, if there’s too much of it she half convinced they’ve taken over somehow and tinted her vision the color of her nightmares. (looking at this you’d really think i’d be able to write something. i should write something) sudden complete darkness, such as someone turning off a light without warning, has her half believing whatever just happened wasn’t real, that the Core got bored and stuck her in the darkness. sound and small lights can help her come back to reality. sound because the Core wouldn’t let sound into their void, that would defeat the point! and small lights because if it all comes back quickly it just means the simulation has been turned back on. better to show her something small but concrete. Anne and Sasha have gotten really good at realizing when she needs a reality check, and then knowing her to ground her. (btw she doesn’t move away because i need her to have a support system. she might actually go crazy if she’s separated from her friends) ( whAT THE FUCk-?? this is so long! i need to wrap up! holy shiiiit) Marcy likes to hold their hands to help her remember where she is. physical touch is very grounding. the Core could never get it right so it’s even more so. after some nightmares she flinches from touch, so other things are needed, but once she’s returned from the hell in her mind she needs touch. sometimes weighted blankets help to ground her when she feels as though she might almost float away, sometimes they chain her down and trap her beneath the weight of all her mistakes.

there’s probably more, but if i kept going i’ll just have written a whole ass fic in an ask answer. hope you liked it! if not idk what i can give you (you’ll like it, because it’s great)

i don’t think i’ve ever written things out like things before, i should do that more. it helped to have specific questions, so thanks man i guess? heh.

[impval]

Hi! I just found your tumblr, and i absolutely love your Cate fics and your writing style. It's absolutely beautiful! Anyway, I was wondering if I could request a Cate x fem!reader?

Reader is basically spiderman? Has the all of Peter Parkers cannon abilities (super strength, enhanced speed and durability, etc) and she's super smart and has built her own webslingers?

Anyway, R is best friends with Jordan and they have a friendly competition for #2 going and have for ages now. Jordan has always known R has feelings for Cate and has tried to encourage her to do/say something?

Cate has always had feelings for R but is afraid to pursue R because of her powers? Anyway, maybe there's an attack on the school and R is one of the first people to act and saves Cate but gets really hurt in the process, so afterwards, Cate hovers and tries to take care of R to 'make up' for it? It leads to them finally talking, properly?

I'm sorry this is so much, and please don't feel like you have to take the request if you don't want to and/or if it's too much!

"Pay attention, bro."

The hand barely brushes against your cheek in the nick of time, a cocky smirk pulling at the corners of their lips.

Even the most miniscule of their movements are swift, and their blows powerful and strong.

Jordan's smirk grows when they realise what (or who) exactly has your attention. "Aww, look at you watching her like a little puppy."

"Shut up," you said, blocking their next strike and shoving them backwards, "And get out of my business."

You were not, in fact, paying attention. Not to anything that mattered, anyways. Jordan could hit you square in the jaw, and you'd barely even notice. No, your attention was focused on the blonde standing a little too close to Andre, and you could feel your jaw clenching involuntarily before you forced yourself to relax your features.

She was your friend, just your friend, and it was so dumb that you had feelings for her. Your crush was so stupid and pathetic and so, so pointless.

Jordan chuckled, easily evading your attack as they danced around you in the ring.

While you enjoyed a bit of good-natured banter - the way they knew about your crush just made your skin prickle and itch and all you wanted to do was throw your hands up and admit it. But, what a stupid idea was that?

"You're distracted," Jordan hummed, "You keep looking over at Catie. You're like a cartoon character, hearts for eyes and everything"

"I am not." You were. You absolutely were. But it was hard to care when Cate was all laughs and giggles and pretty grins directed at Andre, who seemed to be blissfully ignorant. You hated Andre.

It was stupid, stupid, stupid. You knew it, which was why you had been avoiding her as much as humanly possible until it was entirely impossible, which is how you found yourself here, attempting to spar with Jordan and entirely unable to focus because every time you chanced a glance in Cate's direction, your brain would immediately lose all functionality and you would promptly have to duck out of the way of a oncoming punch.

Cate, who was talking to Andre with a smile on her face. Like she was actually enjoying his company. It's not like it was rational, either. Andre wasn't anything you should be worried about. He was in a relationship with Luke for fuck's sake.

Your spider-sense was a godsent during times like these. You shoved that last thought away with such force that you almost missed Jordan's next blow - managing to stumble to the side just in time.

"She's just talking to Andre. "Jordan glanced over their shoulder, "Seriously? You jealous?"

Cate had one hand on his arm, laughing at something he had said. What the hell was so funny?

"Bro," honestly, they thought you were both hopeless, "It's not like she's out of your league or anything. She would say yes. Your just a chickenshit."

You knew why you hadn't asked her out yet.

For one, for all you knew, she wasn't even into girls. Second of all, what if she wasn't interested in you?

"Oh, and this is coming from you," you shot back, "Who only admitted your feelings for Marie after you slept with her. And you didn't even remember it the next morning because you were fucking drunk. And stop calling me bro."

They managed to smack you right in the mouth and you stumbled backwards, nearly falling flat on your ass if you wasn't for your steady, spidery, balance.

"You got me. But at least I asked her out after that, huh? Bro."

Oh, you little shit..

In fact - Jordan had grown so sick of it they were actively planning how to lock you in a closet with Cate just so you would stop making a fool of yourself.

"Honestly," Jordan said, dropping their fists, "How long are you two going to keep this up for? Watching you pine is worse than watching those reality shows that Andre watches just to make fun of them."

"I don't know." You looked miserable, like a lost puppy without a bone or something.

Oh, God.

Jordan swore.

"Nope," Jordan grumbled, already grabbing you by the shoulder, "Hell no. You are not allowed to be mopey. That's not allowed. I can deal with the whole pining thing. I can deal with the whole 'I'm-in-love-with-Cate-but-can't-admit-it-bullshit'. But this?" Jordan raised an unimpressed eyebrow, pushing you out of the ring.

"What, can't deal with a sad bro?" you grumbled, rolling your eyes but allowing them to usher you out of the makeshift ring. Andre was still talking to Cate, who for some reason, never looked your way.

"What are you going to do? Console me? That's not really your thing."

Emotional support? Nope, never. That wasn't something Jordan usually did.

But Jordan seemed to be going through some sort of emotional awakening with their super mature girlfriend, who honestly was a little too mature, in your opinion. She was always so insightful and calm, and you never understood that since Marie grew up in an fucking orphanage.

Twenty minutes later, showered and changed, you reluctantly met Jordan outside the locker room. You had to admit, though, that for once, Jordan was actually trying to get you to feel better rather than just being their usual smug self and it was... nice.

Apparently, the best idea of ​​comfort in Jordan's head was a movie night with them and Marie. A movie night. Because that's what you needed. Not some time alone to wallow in your self-pity.

Surprisingly, Jordan’s plan of forced comfort seemed to work. The action movie provided plenty of mindless entertainment to keep you from thinking about Cate.

It was good night, you had to admit later. Jordan was never one for touchy-feely emotions. So it was... different, to be snuggled in with them, Marie on Jordan's other side, watching some cheesy film and eating an pizza.

And you even managed to get through the night without once thinking about Cate. It was a record. A personal milestone of sorts.

Except the next day wasn't so kind to you.

Cate's ability to exert mind control was insane, but it only worked when she was in physical contact with the person she wanted to push. So despite her power, Cate fell under the support category, even if she was one of the most powerful students here. So, you shared only one class.

It was the stupidest class - the required 'Heroes and Society' class that all of the students hated but had to attend anyways. Usually, you and Cate shared the class with Marie, but she managed to wriggle her way out of it somehow today. What a coincidence.

You tried really, really hard not to think about how you were going to spend a good hour sitting in close proximity to Cate. With no one else to act as a buffer.

"Hey," a cheerful voice pulled you from your thoughts, and you found yourself looking up at the girl who plagued your mind.

And it was worse, the fact that she seemed so cheerful and happy to see you as she slid into the seat beside you. The fact that she leaned in close enough that you could feel the heat coming off her body, that she smelled faintly like something sweet, that she looked at you with those beautiful blue eyes and smiled.

"Hey," you said back, trying to keep your tone casual. "You ready for this boring shitshow of a class?"

"Are any of us ready?" Cate retorted with a roll of her eyes, glancing up to see the professor walking in.

She was wearing her usual black gloves. Cate knew the way people were scared of her and wore her gloves to quell their fears (and her own) - to help people see her and not some terrifying, mind-controlling supe.

You hated her gloves. You even had told her that, once. You'd been high off your ass and had gotten all philosophical, about how everyone had the potential to be dangerous.

"Yeah, because I'm totally gonna remember whatever bullshit this guy is spewing for my final," you mutter, running a hand through your hair.

Students were zoned out, ignoring the professor as they either drew in their notebooks, or chatted quietly or scrolled through their phones.

You worked with the web shooters on your wrists, checking that they were still in place and not broken, when Cate suddenly spoke.

"Another update?" she asked.

You always found yourself looking forward to her asking about you latest technology. Because you could tell she was genuinely interested, that she wasn't just asking out of politeness, and even better, she understood it so talking to her about it was always a million times better than talking to anyone else.

"Yeah," you mumble, fiddling with the wrist of the left shooter, trying to fix a loose screw you must have missed from your last patrol. "I need more adhesive. And the new cartridges don't hold as much webbing as the last ones, so I'm a little worried I'll run out in the middle of a fight…"

God, you were going to blather on forever if she didn't stop you. But you couldn't help it - you loved talking about the latest improvements to your suit.

And you were so cute when you did, and Cate couldn't help the stupid little smile tugging at her cheeks. Listening to you talk about your suit and the upgrades you were making to it was honestly one of her favorite things - probably because she loved the look in your eyes when you were passionate about something and because she was also lowkey obsessed with your tech.

"How much webs do you keep on you?" she asked, leaning her chin on her hand, watching you work.

Your cheeks heated a little under her gaze, but you forced yourself to continue working, forcing all your focus into the web shooter that you were trying to fix. You couldn't let yourself get distracted. Not when she was so close.

"Not enough," you admitted after a moment's hesitation. "I think I brought twelve in each shooter."

Cate laughed a little under her breath, amused that you kept losing yourself while you were with her. Because you did. You constantly found yourself staring at her, tripping over your own damn feet. You were a total disaster around her.

"You're going to end up swinging around the city when you lose all your webs," she teased, gently bumping her knee against yours. "Then you'll just be a useless little spider."

She was always careful about her touch, it was something you'd noticed early on. She rarely touched people for more than what was necessary. Which was why every time she brushed you, the small amount of contact was like a jolt to your system. You were a mess everytime because of it.

But you had enough sense left to roll your eyes dramatically.

"Oh come on, I'm not that bad," you said, feigning annoyance. "When I was first starting out, yeah. I kept running out of webbing mid swing and crashing into people. But that hasn't happened more than...I don't know, two times in the past six months."

Cate wasn't stupid. She was a very observant. She'd noticed that you'd been pulling away from her, and sure, you always had an excuse about being busy, or having something else to do, but you were a terrible liar.

"I doubt anyone in the dorms has been able to forget the sounds of you slamming into the window like a goddamn bird."

Ooch.

You flinched at the memory of the time you smacked into the side of the building directly outside Jordan's window. It had been loud for sure. And embarrassing as hell.

"And you are doing a terrible job at avoiding me, by the way," Cate teased.

And her words had your head snapping up to look at her, freezing like a damn deer caught. You had been avoiding her. But she'd noticed. Of course she noticed. You weren't as stealthy as you thought.

"I'm not avoiding you," you say immediately, like the liar you were.

It was subtle, but you could see it - the slight furrow of her brow, the way her fingers fidgeted with the hems off her gloves.

The professor's eyes lingered on you and Cate for a moment, but he continued his lecture.

In the back of your brain, your spider-sense buzzed like a warning, but you pushed it away. Probably just your brain going haywire again.

"Yeah, okay," Cate said with an eye roll. "If you're not avoiding me, then why have you been canceling plans? Or bailing on movie nights?"

God, it must have been so obvious that Cate had decided to ask directly. You couldn't just admit that the reason you'd been avoiding her was because of your completely ridiculous crush on her.

Cate was your friend. It would be so stupid to ruin what you had because of a silly love that would never be reciprocated.

Just tell her.

But you pushed away that annoying voice that sounded like Jordan, instead focusing on the blank expression on Cate's face. She didn't look surprised or hurt. She just looked… calm. Which irritated you.

You always hated how she could keep such a straight face. You couldn't understand it. It was like she had a million thoughts going on behind her blue eyes, and she refused to share a single one.

"I have some stuff I need to think about," you said eventually, not looking up to meet her gaze because you knew she'd see the guilt in your eyes. "Personal things."

Cate frowns.

She knew that you were lying. She knew that you were avoiding her, but she doesn't know why. Was it something she did? The thought leaves a sour taste in her mouth.

"You're not in any kind of trouble, are you?" she asked quietly as the professor went on rambling.

"No. Just personal stuff. Nothing major," you say, waving your hand dismissively even though you felt like crap for not telling the entire truth.

Cate gave you a long, searching look, like she could see right through your bullshit, and you hated that she still somehow managed to look so damn beautiful even when she was worried.

But then professor starts explaining what's going to be on the big final for class. You'd been zoning out for the last half of the class, so you don't fully understand what he's explaining. A part of you was glad that the professor intervened when he did. It spared you from saying something stupid or from having to look into those damn blue eyes just a little longer.

Students immediately scattered when the bell rang, rushing to get out. Even the professor was in a hurry, rushing out of the classroom. Cate took her time getting up, slinging her backpack over one shoulder and shooting a look your way.

it was like clockwork - you always walked with Cate to her next class. The walk was almost always in comfortable silence, and you were used to it. She'd always insist that you didn't have to, that it was out of your way. But you always did it anyways, just to see her smile.

"Are you coming? Or are you going somewhere else today?" Cate asks, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

Your heart sank at the question. You still had to walk Cate to her next class. The class she had in the other building across campus. Which meant about a five-minute of awkwardly walk.

With a sigh, you grab your backpack and stand up. "No, I'll come with you," you mutter, avoiding her gaze.

"Don't sound too excited about that," Cate replied, sounding just a touch bitter.

Cate headed for the door, and you knew you didn't have a choice but to follow.

The walk to the other building was quiet at first. She kept her gaze forward, and you focused on the path in front of you, trying not to look at her, but that was getting harder and harder.

Finally, she broke the silence.

"Is it really that bad?" she questioned, still walking. "Spending time with me, I mean."

You almost wanted to laugh. Because spending time with her was one of your favorite things. To be around her, to be near her and talk to her, that was all you wanted. But you didn't know what to say. And you didn't want her to know how you really felt.

"No, of course not," you replied hastily. "You know it's not you that's the problem, right? I just.. it's really just personal stuff."

People gave Cate space as you two walked, they were instinctively wary of her power. There was always a small gap around her, people carefully steering clear, as if one brush against her skin would land them under her control.

"Why won't you tell me about it then?" she pressed, glancing over at you. "We're friends, aren't we? And I can't help if you don't give me any details."

You just sighed. "I just need some time. I'll tell you eventually, okay?"

"You never used to be like this," Cate pointed out, and she did sound hurt now. Fuck. "We used to hang out all the time."

"And then," she continued, in that same bitter tone, "You just started dodging me out of the blue. So you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little irritated."

No, no, no, fuck no...

The second you grabbed her shoulder, you almost let go at the flinch. Cate wasn't a fan of unexpected touches. Especially if she couldn't see them coming. But she didn't pull away from your touch, even if there was some tension in her muscles.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly, and you really were. "I just…I need some time to think about some stuff, that's all. I promise you, i tell you about this later."

Cate looked as if she wanted to argue, but she didn't. The two of you were already outside her building.

She stopped outside the door, shifting her backpack strap and biting her lip, as if contemplating whether to question you further. But eventually, she just let out a shaky exhale and nodded.

"Okay," she said, finally looking up at you. "Okay, fine. But you promise," she pressed.

"See you later," she muttered, and then she turned and went into the building, leaving you to feel terrible for lying to her face and even worse because of the hurt look in her eyes.

You cursed yourself all the way to the next class.

Cate was so goddamn good at acting cool and untouchable, but you had known her for so long, that you knew better. You knew how hurt she'd been when you'd started spending more time alone. And yet, you were still too damn scared to tell her the truth.

Danger!

Your head snapped forward, and your eyes scanned the area.

It was a sunny day, and most students were either in their classes or going to them, and nobody seemed out of the ordinary.

That was weird. Usually your spider sense was pretty on point and went off whenever you were in any real danger. Not like that time at the cafeteria when Jordan set off some firecrackers behind you and you almost hit the ceiling, but still.

What the fuck was happening?

You heard people screaming and running, and it didn't take your spider sense to figure out that something was wrong. Your heart skipped a beat in your chest as a terrible realization hit you.

Faculty Support building.

It didn't take long for you to piece together what that meant.

Cate and her classmates were in danger. They didn't have combat powers and they'd be pretty much defenseless against a real threat.

Before you could even fully process your panic, you were already running. When you finally reached the building, you had to shove through a crowd of people standing by the entrance, peering fearfully into the building. They had all backed a good distance away from the entrance. Fucking idiots, you thought.

There was chaos inside and...

... hideous monstrosities, grotesque parodies of humans and animals fused together in an abominable manner. Wings stretched out from some of them, while others brandished razor-sharp claws and teeth. Their eyes were soulless black pits, devoid of any humanity.

And the worst part? There weren't just a few of them. It was like they had come out of a goddamn horror movie, surrounding students and attacking.

A few teachers were using their powers - freezing the monsters, even their minds to stop them - but others were struggling to help. Most of the staff at Godolkin were more suited to office work than actual combat. But they were trying.

Danger!

Suddenly, there was a crash, and glass shattered behind you, and then one of the creatures charged at you.

It was fast, that much you could say. If it weren't for your powers, you'd probably be dead in an instant.

You dodged at the last second, and the creature slammed into the wall so hard, it left a dent in the wall.

"Shall we dance, dear?"

Your quips were kind of a nervous habit. You never actually felt as confident as you sounded. The thing let out an animalistic hiss in response, charging towards you again, seemingly in irritation as you started threw debris and trash at it.

You were just a little too agile for it to get close enough to do any real damage, and it was making the creature angrier and angrier. It hissed and screeched as it continued to try and slash you, getting more and more frustrated.

The chimera had gotten tired and its movements were becoming slower. Finally, you saw a moment where you had a clear shot, and you didn't let the chance go to waste. You shot a web at the chimera, trapping its legs and then pulling it down to the floor, hard.

"Well, I had a good time. Bye-bye."

You had a feeling this creature wasn't fully grown yet but you didn't waste anytime with that thought. You used a large chunk of rubble and slammed it onto the abomination head.

It twitched violently for a few moments, and then fell still, the lifeless body lying in pools of black blood.

For a few seconds, you just stood there, staring at the body at your feet, still trying to process what the fuck just happened.

While you were fighting, more students arrived, you could hear Jordan swearing and Luke's fire was burning somewhere. But you couldn't help but worry about Cate. Had she managed to escape? Was she with other students, or had she tried to hide somewhere?

You continued to fight, dancing around the creatures and helping the other students.

The thought that she might be in danger nagged at you, making it difficult to focus on the fight. And there were so many of these weird, disgusting things that you couldn't even imagine where to find her.

And your questions were soon answered.

The scene before you was both incredible and terrifying. Cate was surrounded by two of those horrid creatures, but they were just obediently waiting for her to give them an order like a dogs.

Well, it was probably easier for Cate to take control of these creatures, they didn't seem to have even a semblance of intelligence, only instincts. She seemed so unbothered, so calm, almost like her usual, untouchable self. But the bloodshot eyes and the slight tremor in her hands showed that this was definitely taking a toll on her.

The chimeras seemed to follow her every command, attacking and taking down other monsters with an unnerving obedience.

She was breathtaking. Unbelievably beautiful. And in that moment, it hit you just how much you loved her. It was a deeper feeling than a mere crush, something strong and powerful that you knew would last forever.

Danger!

Suddenly, something large, greater than any of the creatures you had fought against, burst through the wall. It looked like a lizard on fucking steroids and its reptilian eyes glowed with intelligence. It scanned the battlefield before narrowing its eyes on Cate.

The creature hissed, a low, aggressive sound. It clearly focused on Cate, and you could feel a tinge of fear in your chest. It was just so damn big.

You didn't think.

You just acted. Without hesitation.

You shot a web and swung yourself into the air, launching yourself at the lizard creature. It roared as you jumped on its back. It was huge, at least ten times bigger than any creature you had encountered so far. Its yellow eyes glowed with malevolence and it hissed and thrashed, trying to throw you off.

"Get off me, you damn insect!" the lizard roared, its voice like gravel and malice.

Oh, shit, mini-Godzilla can talk?

It was strong, and you could feel the muscles underneath shifting and writhing as it thrashed around, trying to shake you off like a dog shaking off a flea.

"You're going to have to try a lot harder to get rid of me, you overgrown gecko," you quipped, as you fired off some more webbing to secure your position.

"Bro! You just had to pick the extra-large one, didn't you?"

Well, fuck, you'll recognize this voice anywhere. Jordan didn't look particularly thrilled to be fighting such a overgrown gecko, but they never backed away from a challenge.

The moment the lizard noticed Jordan, it seemed to become even more enraged. It let out a deafening roar, the sound echoing through the halls of the building, and then it started to charge straight towards them, with you still clinging to its back.

Jordan wasted no time, releasing energy blast, then another and another.

Suddenly, you slipped. Your grip loosened just for a moment, but that was more than enough.

In that split moment of distraction, the enraged creature suddenly twisted its body in an unexpected move, throwing you off its back and sending you flying across the room. You crashed into the wall and felt a sharp pain shoot through your body.

The impact left you dazed, and for a moment, it was hard to think straight. Your head felt like it had been caved in, and your ribs were definitely bruised at best. Everything was fuzzy and your head was spinning, the pain radiating from the collision making it hard to focus.

Everything became a hazy blur. The sounds of battle faded away and the world seemed to tilt and spin. You felt weak and exhausted, your adrenaline finally starting to wear off and leaving you vulnerable.

A familiar voice, soft and strained, cut through the fog, a gentle touch on your face. Cate's worried eyes was the last thing you seen before darkness engulfed your consciousness.

---

You didn't know how long you were out for. Seconds, minutes, hours, maybe?

When you finally woke up, you found yourself lying on a bed, the soft sheets beneath you feeling strangely comforting. Your head was throbbing painfully, and your ribs ached with every breath.

You struggled to open your eyes, blinking against the harsh light.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," a voice whispered, familiar and tender.

Cate.

Cate was there, her face etched with concern as she sat beside the bed, her eyes fixed on you. Her touch was gentle as she placed a hand on your shoulder.

You tried to speak, but the words came out as a hoarse croak. Cate seemed to understand, though, her expression softening.

"Take it easy," she murmured, her voice soft and soothing. "You took a pretty bad hit."

You eagerly accepted the glass of water that she gave you. The water tasted heavenly as it ran down your parched throat.

"You had us all worried, you know," she said, her tone filled with concern.

The dark circles under her eyes, the slightly disheveled state of her hair, and the slight trembling of her hands. It was obvious that she hadn't been able to rest properly. Probably thanks to you. Your heart ached seeing her in this state. She had been worried for you, worried sick by the looks of it.

Cate placed the glass back on the bedside table, her eyes never leaving you.

"You shouldn't have. I'm like a cockroach. Only a spider." you said like a clown you are. Cate barely smiled at that. "How long have I been out?"

And what the fuck happened. You've never seen anything like this, except maybe in movies. But this was a real life.

"Two days. And no, you're not a spider, you idiot." she replied, her voice tinged with a hint of irritation. "You had a concussion and some bruised ribs. You were lucky they didn't break."

Ouch. You huddled in the hospital bed, trying to appear smaller. Cate rarely got mad at you, but when she did, it was scary.

Cate's irritation seemed to soften at your pathetic attempt to make yourself smaller. She sighed and rubbed her temples, her expression becoming more concerned than angry.

"You... You shouldn't have done what you did," she continued, her voice stern. "Throwing yourself at that monster, trying to be a hero. You could've been killed!"

Her words hit you hard. You'd known it was a reckless decision even as you were doing it, but you hadn't cared in that moment. All that had mattered was protecting Cate.

"But I couldn't just let that thing hurt you," you said, your voice weak. "I had to do something."

Cate's jaw clenched and something flashed across her face so quickly you couldn't tell what it was. "That thing was Professor Connors," she corrected you.

Who?

She saw the confusion on your face and continued to explain.

"Professor Connors. 'Heroes and Society' class. Ring a bell? He's was also a geneticist and used to work at Vought. He was experimenting on some kind of gene-mutation or something. That's probably why he turned into that… thing."

Wait, seriously?

You couldn't help but snort. "Was this his twisted revenge for everyone sleeping during his lectures?"

Cate rolled her eyes at your remark, but a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"Yeah, I guess turning himself into a giant lizard was Professor Connors' way of getting back at us for being such terrible students," she replied, her voice laced with sarcasm.

But then her expression turned serious again.

"But it's not funny. You could have died. And it would have been my fault. It should have been me, not you."

The realization that Cate blamed herself for your injury made your stomach twist into knots. You tried to sit up straighter, despite the painful ache in your ribs, wanting to face Cate properly.

"No!" you protested, wincing at the effort. "It should have been me. I'm the one who's got superstrength and healing factor. I'm the one who's supposed to protect you."

Cate opened her mouth to protest, but you cut her off.

"I'll be fine, I'll heal quickly." you decided to cheer her up a bit. "And your powers saved our asses. Seriously, you handled those creatures like a boss."

Cate let out a soft, watery chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I guess I did kick ass," she murmured, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

You glanced around the room, taking in the colorful array of flowers and balloons. You felt guilty for worrying everyone, but then your attention returned to Cate.

"Looks like I have a veritable florist shop in here," you commented weakly, trying to lighten the mood.

The look Cate gave you could freeze hell.

---

And... now Cate was firmly in her overprotective mode, and she made sure you followed every single one of the doctors' instructions. It was both endearing and annoying the way she made you take the pills, undergo the tests, and eat the damn vegetables.

She wouldn't let you lift a finger, insisting that you rest and focus on getting better.

"If I let you out of my sight, you'll probably end up trying to fight another giant monster."

Jordan, of course, made comments about Cate playing nurse, but they wisely chose not to say anything in front of her. At least they have brains left for this.

"Hey, bro, I think your future wife is a little obsessed with taking care of you."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Whipped."

You even caught her sleeping on a chair next to your bed a few times. Exhaustion was getting to her. And despite your protests, you secretly enjoyed the attention.

Finally, the day came when the doctors gave the all-clear sign. You were released from the hospital wing, but they warned that you should try to stay away from strenuous activities for a while.

"Do you really think I can sit still for long?" you asked Cate with a smirk.

As Cate walked with you back to your dorm room, her expression became more serious.

"Look, they said you shouldn't overdo things," she reminded you, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye.

You rolled your eyes at her concern and pushed open the door to your room.

"Yes, Nurse Dunlap, I know. 'No heavy lifting, no intense physical activity, and no trying to rescue any damsels in distress for at least a week,'" you said in your best serious and responsible impression, mimicking her tone.

Cate's reaction was a bit more intense than you would have expected. She closed the door and turned to face you.

"It's not funny," she said, her voice sharp and something about her expression made you pause. Behind the irritation, there was a hint of something else.

Worry. Fear. Anxiety.

You gently squeezed her hands, trying to reassure her.

"Cate, I'm fine. I'll take it easy, just like the doctor said," you told her, your voice gentle and soothing.

"You're not, you idiot," she protested, her voice cracking slightly. "You were unconscious for two days with a concussion and bruised ribs."

Your heart ached as you realized the pain you had caused her. She was scared, worried, and desperately trying to keep herself together.

But more than anything, you were sick of holding back your feelings, of hiding how you truly felt about her. You couldn't continue on like this, pretending that what you felt for Cate was just friendship.

And then you decided. No more being a coward. No more holding back your feelings. It was time to tell her. Consequences be damned.

"Cate," you began, your voice soft and shaky. "I… I need to talk to you about something. Something really important."

Cate's eyes widened at the sudden seriousness in your voice.

"Okay," she replied, her voice hesitant. "What is it?"

Be brave, be brave, be brav..

Your palms were sweaty, and your heartbeat was so loud in your ears that you feared she might hear it. The words were right there on the tip of your tongue, but actually saying them out loud seemed to be the hardest thing in the world. It's easier to fight a monsters.

"First, I just want to say... I'm sorry," you started. "I'm sorry I worried you and I'm sorry I scared you. I know I shouldn't have done what I did, but I just... I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. I had to protect you."

This was the easiest part.

"I know I've been acting differently lately. It's because… because I couldn't admit what I was feeling. I have feelings for you and I don't know if you feel the same, but i had to let you know because it's been eating me alive for way too long."

Cate's eyes widened, and her breath caught in her throat. For several seconds, there was only silence between you. The air was thick with tension, and you could hear your own heartbeat echoing in your ears.

Cate's reaction was unreadable, her face emotionless. The uncertainty was killing you.

"Cate," you finally blurted out, unable to take the silence any longer. "Please, say something? You're kinda freaking me out right now."

Fear. Hesitation. Uncertainty. You wondered for a moment if you had made a huge mistake. And then, just when you thought you might burst from the tension, Cate spoke.

"You… you can't be serious," she mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. "Why… why would you like someone like me?"

Cate's grip on your hands faltered as she looked down at her gloved hands. She always wore gloves, as if to hide the part of herself that she thought was monstrous.

Could she really not see how incredible she was? How amazing? You wanted to yell, to scream out how stupid that question was. But instead, you reached out to cup her face gently.

"I'm different," she protested weakly. "I can... I can push people. Make them do things. That's not normal. It's messed up. I'm messed up."

You could see the doubt and insecurity written all over her face. She truly believed that she didn't deserve to be loved because of her powers. It broke your heart to see her think so lowly of herself.

"You're not messed up," you said gently but firmly. "You're special. Unique. Your powers don't define you. They're part of you, yes, but they're not who you are. I know you. I see you."

I love you as you are.

The tears welled up in Cate's eyes, and she bit her lip, trying to hold them back. She wanted so badly to believe you, to accept your kind words. But years of being judged, rejected, and feared had etched themselves into her very being.

"But… but what if you change your mind?" she whispered, her voice breaking. "What if you realize… you realize it's too much? That I'm too much?"

You knew that she wasn't rejecting you, not really.

You gently wiped away a tear that had escaped down her cheek.

"Cate, look at me," you said softly, tilting her chin up so her gaze met yours. "I won't change my mind. You're not too much. You're just right. Just the way you are."

Cate's eyes met yours, and for a moment, she couldn't do anything but stare at you. She had imagined this moment many times. But here it was, real. And you, looking at her like that. The look in your eyes was so sincere, so loving, that Cate's breath caught in her throat. No one had ever spoken to her like that, looked at her like that.

"I want to be with you. Do you want this?"

She was so used to people avoiding physical contact with her. People who saw her powers as a danger. Anyone with half a brain would know that her gloves were a sham, any skin-to-skin contact would be enough.

But here you were, unafraid, holding her face.

Cate wanted this. She had wanted this for so long. Slowly, a small, shaky smile tugged at the corner of the lips. She swallowed hard, voice trembling with emotion.

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes never leaving yours. "I've wanted you for so long, but I was too scared. Too messed up."

Jordan was right, you two were hopeless.

A wave of relief and happiness washed over your heart. This was real. Cate wanted you back.

You reached out to touch her cheek again, your fingers traced lightly over her skin. The warmth and softness under your fingertips made your heart race. You wanted to pull her closer, hold her tight and never let go.

You couldn't believe this was happening. Cate, the girl you'd been too scared to admit your feelings for, felt the same way about you.

The room seemed to shrink around you, the outside world forgotten. All that existed was her and you, wrapped up in this moment. Her perfume filled your nostrils, a sweet, almost addictive scent that made you want to get closer to her.

"Can i kiss you?"

Cate imagined what it would be like to kiss you so many times, but now here you were, asking her permission.

"Yes," she whispered, her voice soft and a bit shaky. "Yes, you can kiss me."

The way Cate's hair fell over her face, the heat of her skin under your fingers, the way her eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips. You felt light, like you were floating on cloud. Cate wanted you, she agreed to kiss you.

And then you closed the distance between you and pressed your lips against hers.

[claws-and-all]

Bodyguard Tamlin!

I don't normally have Modern AU's for Tamlin but this post got me thinking. With Tamlin's military upbringing and his core being a protector I was like hmmm a bodyguard could work!

So, here's a little play on Ana Huang's Twisted Games:

Tamlin hails from a distinguished line of aristocrats yet he often feels like the black sheep of his family. Unlike his father and brothers, he does not take to politics and scheming. However, he finds solace in the fact that his family has upheld the long-standing tradition of enlisting in the military.

During his service, he discovers that he is not only skilled in combat but also has a deep drive to protect others. Once his term is completed he chooses to put this newfound passion into private security. This decision did not sit well with his father. Tamlin was accused of being a disgrace to the family name. The taunts of his brothers, the disappointment of his father, and his reticent mother caused a massive rift between himself and his family.

Years later, cut off from his family's love and wealth, Tamlin established himself as an elite bodyguard. His latest assignment is protecting a royal. A princess to a small nation. She was someone he had known in passing. She had an air of entitlement. This was precisely the type of client he refused to work with. However, when work was scarce, you took what you got.

Tamlin took his job very seriously. The princess did not. She defied him at every turn. Determined to have freedom in her highly monitored life.

Needless to say, they hated each other.

Despite their mutual dislike, the job continued on for months. The ice between them melted as they began noticing unexpected things about each other.

The princess found that her brooding bodyguard had a softer side. She would catch glimpses of it when he would get lost in the musicals he reluctantly attended with her. She found him writing in journals when he wasn't on active duty. Sneaking a peek over his shoulder, she found bits of poems and musical compositions. There was also a darker side to him that she was yet to crack. Bits of hurt and trauma that seeped through his hard façade. She had the urge to learn everything about him.

Tamlin found himself empathizing with the girl. Underneath her carefree exterior was a heart he was not expecting. Genuine care for others and a passion for fighting for their rights. This extended to animals as well. He found her volunteering at their local animal shelter. One, he was a regular at. He spent most of his days off rehabilitating and caring for these animals. All these actions of hers had him feeling like she was much more than just a job.

You can fill in the rest... :)

A little quote from the book that so perfectly describes what I'd like for Tamlin

I met a woman who cracked my ironclad defenses like no one had before. Someone who loved the rain and animals and Rocky Road ice cream on quiet nights. Someone who saw all my scars and ugliness and still found me worthy, and somehow, someway, she’d filled the cracks in a soul I never thought would be whole again

Notes on Tamlin: - Broody (of course), is righteous however he will do anything it takes to protect his client. - Comes off as a quiet, private person. He exists to protect, not to become their friend - Can hurt others if need be but ensures that prevention of such situations is the no.1 priority. - Spends his free time chasing his passions. Whether it's mastering a new musical instrument, composing music, or writing poems/limericks. - Would become a vet if he could, settles for helping instead. - He lives in a small apartment in the city which he despises. He values peace and quiet and nature. He misses his family manor in the countryside. However, his job requires him to be more accessible - His brothers remain a thorn in his side. Popping up every few months just to kick him down. - His mother reaches out every now and then. The two of them would meet up for lunch or dinner. She does not help right the situation but she does show him love and compassion during these times so he takes what he gets - His father is virtually nonexistent. It hurts more than he'd like to admit. - A part of him is grateful to be away from the fakeness of polite society. - Makes friends along the way, Lucien, the only fellow noble he can stand. Keeps him in the loop. Rhysand, another bodyguard who taught him the ropes when he first joined.

Welcome to our Tamlin Community game: Headcanons!

Every headcanons post, we'll drop a prompt asking you for your take on the prompt and our beloved Tamlin.

Fun fact: Did you know headcanons posts count as submissions during Tamlin Week? Headcanons are a great way to participate if you don't have time to create more time consuming submission and we love, love, love hearing all the different ways Tamlin is perceived!🤩

This is a space to share your adoration and your creativity, so don't be shy -- reblog or chat with fellow Tamlin enjoyers in the notes!

What are your MODERN AU Tamlin headcanons?