#like i can't be that. there are several things wrong with me on a deeper level but there are even more things wrong on the surface level
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bredforloyalty · 2 years ago
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i have to use tumblr less some of you are becoming like healthy stable fully realized people (or always have been) and i'm happy for you and cheering you on and acknowledging the pieces of advice that appear on my dash but tbh it makes me feel.. not good. due to my headspace these last few weeks or months or years
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grandlinedreams · 8 months ago
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|| i regret nothing I need Cooper Howard viscerally both pre and post Ghoulification
|| notes: semi Canon compliant, spoiler-ish for end of s1, semi-shifting pov, Lucy is adorable but baby girl you will be chewed up and spat out pls grow more spine, Dogmeat has never done anything wrong ever, godbless Cooper having a southern accent bc that's my accent, yeah, gonna do a sequel to this and a prequel on Coop and reader's first meeting, ok bye
|| warnings: weapons supplier!reader, couple of allusions to cannibalism, reader is not specifically gendered, NSFW ㅡ fingering/touching
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“Where are we going?”
Not for the first time today, or even the last week, Cooper questions why he's letting the Vaultie (“Lucy,” she informs him primly, “my name is Lucy.”) tag along. The dog, at least, is a good, reliable companion. Dogmeat trots dutifully at his side, her tail wagging as he stops to glare at Lucy.
“Supplies, Vaultie,” he tells her, relishes the flicker of annoyance in her eyes. “Need supplies or we'll both be knee deep in shit.” He pauses. “More than we already are.” 
She mumbles something he doesn't care to catch as he resumes walking, rolling his eyes as he adjusts his hat. He knows he could stand to be a little more sympathetic with the bombshell she's still dealing with, but he can't bring himself to ㅡ not when his daughter might still be alive out there, somewhere. (And his ex-wife, who he's pointedly trying to not think about too much.) 
Lucy is blessedly quiet for a good while, all the way until they get closer to where they're going. Cooper doesn't need that piece of shit vault-tec device on her arm to know where he is, but Lucy says it anyways.
“It's a town,” she mumbles at the cluster of ramshackle buildings, surrounded by the clustering of trees so much like Filly ㅡ but isn't. “Is thisㅡ”
“Yes,” he answers, “now shut it and walk.”
Lucy huffs. “I don't know if you've realized neither of us have means to pay for anything,” she protests, “but the general rule ofㅡ” 
“Vaultie.” If looks could kill, she'd be six feet under. He's never had much patience, but she’s already reached the bottom of it and keeps digging. “Shut the fuck up about your goddamn rules. If you haven't noticed, nobody up here gives a damn about playing by what's wrong and what's right.” He gives her a meaningful look. “Now if you don't want me to leave your ass to whatever comes along next, you'll be quiet and let me handle it.” 
Lucy's mouth shuts with an audible click, and Cooper turns on his heel to resume walking, Dogmeat at his heels. 
Like Filly, the center of buildings bustle with the day to day of so many others, the cacophony of animal sounds along with chatter ㅡ Cooper spares Lucy a brief glance to watch her struggle to keep up and scoffs to himself, shaking his head as he continues.
He knows where he's going, a little shop shoved between two others, narrow but deeper than the other two, because he's been here before. Several times, actually. Which accounts for the familiarity with which he strolls over the threshold and leaves Lucy and Dogmeat to follow. 
There's the jingle of what might be a bell over Lucy's head when she follows, blinking at the interior. Neat and tidy, or at least as much as can pass for such things on the surface ㅡ rows of weapons and other assorted things on shelves and stands. 
Lucy watches The Ghoul rap his fist on the counter. “I know you're here,” he calls, “you never leave this damn place!”
She expects whoever it is to come scuttling out with the tone of voice he uses and being as accustomed to his rougher attitude, and she listens to the clatter of something further in the shop.
“If that's your greeting nowadays,” comes the answer, “you can fuck off.” 
To Lucy’s surprise, The Ghoul husks a laugh instead of offering another threat. Footsteps approach, and Lucy blinks at the person who rounds the corner. 
“You,” you accuse, finger almost into his chest, “thought I told you I was done dealing with you if you couldn't work on your manners.” 
Lucy stares, and watches as you turn towards her and raise an eyebrow, eyeing her with unrestrained curiosity, then at Dogmeat. “A vaultie and a dog,” you say, then glance back at The Ghoul. “So, taking in strays, huh?”
The Ghoul grimaces. “Guess so.” He clears his throat. “Need supplies again, sweetheart.”
“Figured as much,” you say, arms folding across your chest. Lucy decides she likes you, because you're standing up to him ㅡ and he's letting you. “Take it you have no way of paying, again.”
Lucy wants to tell The Ghoul I told you so, because he can shit on all her little rules all he likes but the surface still deals in keeping the scales balanced. You have to eat too, so it's fair that you're expecting payment in the nonexistent caps they have. The Ghoul, on the other hand, tries a different route. 
“Oh come on now sugar,” The Ghoul wheedles, tone almost what could be considered as sweet. Playing at a gentleman for the way he leans against the cobbled together counter, even goes as far as to take his hat off and place it down. “Don't be like that.”
“Don't you sugar me,” you counter with an attitude that honestly startles Lucy for both the lack of genuine bite or answering hostility from The Ghoul. This isn't the first time you've met, she realizes, and is also quietly a little horrified to register that this almost sounds like flirting. “You're a pain in the ass, you know that?”
The Ghoul almost grins. “At least I'm consistent. Besides, you know you miss me when I'm gone.” 
You snort, pressing your lips together to hide a smile. Lucy feels a tiny bit uncomfortable with the atmosphere, like she's watching something she shouldn't be privy to. 
“Yeah, yeah,” you answer, bustling around to shove several fabric wrapped packs into his chest and giving him a meaningful look. “You owe me.” 
It's definitely flirting now, Lucy notes as The Ghoul's face lights up in a way that's still entirely human, tracking your movements with something far softer than anything she's ever seen from him. 
The turn towards her and head jerk to her and Dogmeat is as clear as dismissal as she's ever seen, to make herself scarce ㅡ so she does, but not before she catches the peripheral glimpse of the way you let him reach for you, almost melting into him for the way he moves to undoubtedly murmur something. 
That something is not the sweet words of a long time lover, but it's probably about as close as you're going to get with things the way they are.
 
“Anyone causin’ you trouble lately?” 
You roll your eyes. “Besides you?” He gives you a look, and you shake your head. “No, and even if there was, you know I can handle myself.” You turn to throw him a teasing look over your shoulder. “Don't tell me you're getting soft on me, old man.” 
It's Cooper's turn to snort, even as he moves to follow you. There's a sort of peace to watching you sort through boxes of shell casings and bottles of powder, letting his gaze drift over your body. 
When you turn, he doesn't even bother to hide the way he's watching you, and you arch an eyebrow. “What?”
“Nothin’,” he returns. “Can't I admire you?”
You roll your eyes. “I'm too expensive for you, Cooper.” It's a playful taunt, one that incites a little flare of something in his eyes as he approaches, the jingle of his spurs as he comes to loom over you, cages you in against the shelves of “inventory”. 
“Really now,” he drawls, leans in, eyes predatory dark. A lifetime ago, you might have been scared. But the wastelands made no qualms about beating fear out of people just as quick as it snuffed out life all together. “Here I was thinkin’ I might get a discount.” He reaches, thumbs at your bottom lip with his gloved digit. “What's the askin’ price, sweetheart?” 
This close, he smells like the wastelands and sunbaked leather, with a little bit of blood ㅡ but you don't mind. Never have, not sure you ever will. Not when it comes to him, anyways.
He's a dangerous man. A man with a reputation that's well-earned, spoken in hushed whispers and anything but nice. But you let him slot a leg between yours, lean in, press his lips to your hair. You smell like gunpowder and hot metal, grease stained fingertips and more than a couple bruises and scars for your efforts. 
Sometimes Cooper contends with the idea he might need you just as much as he needs that chem that keeps him sane. Admits it here and there, quietly to himself when he wanders in, squashes it down that he makes the trips sometimes just to make sure you're still alive. Not like he'd know if you were, till he sees you. Not sure what he'd do if he someday came up and found you gone. No note, no goodbye ㅡ quick and quiet, the cruelty of the wastelands.  
“Didn't answer my question, darlin’.” He mumbles, lips to your cheeks now. Soft skin, kept carefully with rationed doses of radaway and a healthy heap of keeping your cute little self out of business that doesn't involve you. “Come on, I asked you real nicely.” 
You hook your fingers in the loops of his belt, pull him closer. He can feel the jump of your heartbeat under his lips, now at your jawline. A soft, shaky inhale. Selfishly, he wants to keep you. Steal you away, greedy to keep you for himself. Hates the idea of whatever scum that rolls in that you have to deal with on your own. You can handle yourself, he knows that. 
Doesn't stop that little piece of him that's still truly Cooper Howard from worrying. But he knows better than to think he can protect you, because he can't. So he does what he can.
Your skin is soft under his teeth, forgiving to the nip of them, the blooming blossom of pink that reminds him of strawberries. The noise you make is just as sweet, and he wonders if you'd taste like that, too. 
“I'm waiting,” he prompts between little nips, mouth curving against your flesh when you grip at him tighter. There's a lot he could do to you, and not a lot you wouldn't let him. “Don't tell me this big ol’ cat’s got your tongue, little songbird.” 
Your lips part, and he expects either a sparky response or a soft plea for what this is tilting towards, partaking of something far softer than anything he's used to nowadays ㅡ  but you’ve always had a taste for throwing him for a loop, and you do it now. 
“Take me with you.” 
That snaps him out of his little hazy, touch-greedy daze, enough that he pulls away to look at you properly. “Repeat that?”
“You heard me.” You tug at the loops of his belt, eyes steely, expression firm. “Take me with you. Tired of this shitty little outpost. Figure it's time to move before I get myself into trouble I can't get out of.”
Cooper laughs. “Think you're runnin’ straight into that fire by askin’ what you're askin’, sweet thing.” A warning and a plea, mixed mish-mash in his words. Part of him wants you to stay here. Concrete, much as it can be, where he knows where you are. Other part says it'd be easier to watch your back if he saw it all the time. 
“That's not an answer, Cooper.” 
He snorts, softens at the edges again, a little sadder as he reaches to stroke your jawline, leans to bump his forehead to yours ㅡ radiation warm against radaway cold. “Wanna make sure you know what you're asking for, darlin’. I ain't your babysitter. Got my own shit to do.”
“I know.” There's that fire in your voice, the kind he loves and hates at the same time. “Wasn't asking for you to babysit me.” 
He swallows roughly. Lets his hands drift up your sides, tug at the tuck of your shirt, underneath to drag sun-worn leather against the soft skin of your abdomen. Relishes the way you shiver, leaning into his touch. “Can't promise nothin’, you know that.” 
Your smile promises the same kind of heartbreak his own words do, the kind rooted in the reality that the world doesn't deal in any absolute but death, and sure as shit won't give happy endings. Not anymore. “I know.” 
Cooper can't think of what to say to that, at least anything he's ready to, so he kisses you. Your lips are too soft against his, the warmth of your mouth reigniting that greedy, needy, human thing inside him. He pulls, digs his fingers into your soft, pliant skin, and he takes.
Takes what you willingly give him, hand over hand with nothing but that pretty little smile of yours. He muffles your gasp as he wedges his leg a little firmer, coaxes the part of your legs with a rough husk of, “just like that, dollface,” and delights too much in the sound of you moaning for him.
Hushed, quiet enough that there's no reason for Dogmeat or Lucy to come back yet (he doesn't know what they're up to nor does he really fuckin’ care at the moment), he lets himself indulge in the pleasure of your body against his. The sweet little sounds, half-gasped as he mouths at your neck, hitched to something almost like music as his hands wander. 
Pauses long enough to bite at the tip of his glove and tug, one then two, the bare, radiation scarred wander of his fingers over your body. It's selfish, the way he covets every little twitch and jump of your muscles, the choked gasp as he guides you into rocking against his leg. 
“You're so sweet for me, sugar,” he coos, syrupy as he picks you apart meticulously, piece by piece. Fingers still far too good at what they do when he replaces his leg with the press of them against you, remnants of a past life for how well he gets you to whimper his name. “Like ambrosia.” 
His fingers stroke, deceptively gentle, working over your slick, too-hot, achy skin until you’re panting and gripping at him, pleading for a relief only he can give you. And that’s exactly how he wants you, where all you can see and think of is him. 
The expression you make when he finally lets you come might truly be the most beautiful thing he’s seen in a very long time. Headier than the Jet, dizzying and making him swear as he jerks his clothed hips against yours, breath sharp in his chest. 
“Gonna be the death of me, I swear.” He bites at your neck, digs a little harder, scrapes his canines into your sweet, yielding flesh. He could devour you, take bite after sweet, sweet bite and actually test that theory about the strawberries. Crack the cage of your rib, feast on that beating yolk of heart that thumps so hard in your chest. 
“Gonna let me do it, sweet thing?” He rumbles against your ear. “Let me have it all?” 
Your eyes flash, lips pretty and swollen as they part to answer ㅡ and the bark of that damn mutt ruins it all. At least it's a warning for you both, because he's stepping back and letting you fix yourself with surprising speed as Lucy and Dogmeat return, an expectant look on the fuckin’ vaultie's face. 
“Well? Got what you need?"
Cooper snorts, tracks you instead of answering as you press your hand to his for a second, gone around the corner. Lucy frowns when you return, pistol strapped at your hip and a bandolier slung over your shoulder like his, broad pack strapped to your back. Like you planned for this.
And you did, he notes, but it hadn't been contingent on his agreement. Idly, he notes he never did answer you, not really. But he just hums, then turns towards Lucy, who looks between the two of you, confused. 
“Yeah,” he finally answers, “got what I need.”
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fandom-junk-drawer · 2 months ago
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The Witcher Headcanon - Witcher Senses: Taste
Geralt has an enhanced sense of hearing and smell, so Jaskier reasons that of course his sense of taste would be enhanced as well.
Jaskier is maybe just a wee bit envious of Geralt's better sense of taste. It must be marvelous to taste food and drink on a whole deeper level than a human.
Even when the food at an inn or tavern is blander than h*ll, Geralt still appears to savor the taste, while Jaskier has to settle for suffering through the meal, or maybe be lucky enough to have a little salt in his pack.
And when the food is amazing? Jaskier wishes he could taste the food the way Geralt does. The food is absolutely delectable. The best thing he's ever tasted. Surely it is fit to set at the table of the gods themselves!
Jaskier is at a loss for words to describe the flavor. He looks at Geralt, and is instantly jealous of the Witcher's taste buds. The expression on his face suggests that the food tastes like pure sin.
Lucky b**tard
But Geralt's enhanced taste buds aren't just for enjoying food. Jaskier has seen him use it to keep both of them alive.
Geralt: Hm. Wine smells off. Let's see...
Jaskier: just the tip...of the tongue!
Geralt: *eye roll* Hm. Poison.
Jaskier: :O
Dead deer on the road with not a mark on it? Geralt's got it covered.
*nibble nibble*
Hmm. Wasting disease. Better stick with rabbit for dinner tonight.
Jaskier is impressed. The versatility is amazing! There are so many uses! He discovers another use for Geralt's tongue several nights later.
It's been a long day of travelling, and Jaskier has been taken over by inspiration and spent almost the entire day scribbling in his notebook and strumming on his lute. Geralt has not made as much progress has he'd like, but Jaskier is too distracted to keep up a steady, quick pace.
Oh well, there's really no reason they can't make camp early.
Jaskier is just sitting there later, minding his own d*mn business, when Geralt throws him for a loop.
He's been feeling off for the past few hours. Shaky, and a little sweaty.
He's staring at his notebook, glaring at the half-baked lyrics he's scribbled down.
He's getting worried. Had the meat pie he'd eaten earlier been spoilt? Was he going to die from eating rotten meat?
Geralt is abruptly at his elbow, grunting a concerned 'Hm'. His companion smelled off.
"What?"
"You don't look good."
"Excuse you, but I always look good!"
"You look like sh*t, bard."
"That's rude! Just for that, I'm sleeping on the other side of camp!" *Stands and stumbles*
Geralt grabs Jaskier's arm to steady him, but then doesn't let go. Instead, he starts snuffling at his skin.
Jaskier: *light-headed* Er...?
Geralt makes a thoughtful sound, then starts licking Jaskier's forearm.
"What the ever-loving--?!"
Jaskier can't complete his sentence because 1. Geralt is licking his arm. And 2. Geralt's tongue is scratchy, like a cat's, and he is having thoughts about it.
And goodness, some of those thoughts were making him blush!
Geralt apparently finds what he's looking for because he makes a satisfied grunt and lets him go.
Jaskier snatches his arm back, and stares at him, metaphorically clutching his pearls.
"You need to eat." Geralt says simply. "I can taste it in the sweat on your skin."
"You can...whAt?"
"I can tell from how your sweat tastes. It tastes bitter. Eat."
"But I ate earlier,"
"That was hours ago Jaskier."
Jaskier paused. Now that he thought about it, he'd eaten that pie for breakfast when they'd left town. It was now late afternoon!
"Well, f**k me running!" Jaskier exclaimed, feeling relieved. He wasn't going to die from a spoilt meat pie!
He took the dried meat, cheese, and nuts Geralt handed him and chewed contemplatively for a few moments.
Jaskier: *grinning suggestively* So, you can tell what's wrong with me by how I taste?
Geralt: *annoyed at the suggestive remark* Hm.
Jaskier: Do you have to lick my arm, or can it be any part of me? *eyebrow wiggle*
Geralt: Hmm (exhasperated)
Jaskier: Because, you do know that your tongue is interestingly scratchy, and it's making me rather curious as to what it would feel like on my--!
Geralt: *Shoves chunk of bread into Jaskier's mouth* Eat.
Jaskier: *muffled disappointed bard noises*
Geralt sighed to himself. Jaskier was going to be an insufferable menace this winter.
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thetriumphantpanda · 1 year ago
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illicit affairs | joel & tommy miller
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Summary | Two attempts are always better than one, right? If you're serious about getting pregnant then you can't just hope that Joel can manage to do it by trying once every month. It might be wrong, but seeing him camped out on the couch gives you the perfect excuse to try one more time this month, without distractions.
Warnings | Joel Miller being a fucking stud as always, breeding kink, size kink, dubious moral choices by both reader and Joel, Tommy getting cucked (as usual), dirty talk, unprotected PiV sex,
Word Count | 2.7k
Authors Note | Well..... this certainly isn't how I anticipated this series going, but it makes sense, right? Can't just fuck once a month and expect to make a baby. I am absolutely feral for how much you guys are enjoying this series that wasn't meant to be a series and I hope you continue to do so in the future. And also, don't worry, Tommy is back next time in full force, I promise! If you've not read parts one and two, you can find them linked below on the series masterlist - this probably won't make much sense otherwise.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist
When Joel wakes the next morning, crick in his neck and lower back screaming at him for a night scrunched up on his brother’s couch, it’s the smell of bacon and the sizzling sound of something cooking in oil that hits him first. He pushes himself up slowly, running a hand over his face before his eyes search for the wall clock. It’s just after seven, he doesn’t have to pick Sarah up for another few hours. 
The next thing that strikes him is your voice. It’s quiet, like you’re trying not to wake him up, but you’re singing, or rather humming along to some song on the radio. He doesn’t know what it is, doesn’t care to find out, he just sits and listens for a while, letting the sweet sound almost lull him back to sleep. 
When Joel hears the clatter of plates being moved around, he stands, stretching out his back until it cracks in several places. God, he’s getting old. He slowly and softly makes his way to the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe as he watches you. You’re moving scrambled eggs around in the pan on the hob, two plates on the side that already have slices of bacon on them, and he can see slices of bread sat in the toaster waiting to be made. It’s domestic and he realizes he really shouldn’t like seeing it as much as he does. He shouldn’t be here, this should be his brother, but he doesn’t exactly hate it. 
“You didn’t have t’make me breakfast.” He speaks, you don’t jump which makes him think you knew he was there all along. 
“You didn’t have to sleep on the couch all night,” You counter, looking at him over your shoulder, “I guess we wore each other out, only right I send you off with a hearty breakfast.” 
Joel doesn’t really know what he’s doing when he walks deeper into the kitchen. He’s driven by the fact that all you’re wearing is a large flannel shirt, obviously not one of your own, buttoned up over some underwear. You’re fucking magnetic to him, he knows you shouldn’t be, should be as far out of his reach as possible, but he’s only doing you a favour right? The more he repeats it to himself, the more he might believe it. 
“What do you think you’re doing?” You speak as his hands play with them hem of the shirt, although your voice is teasing, it doesn’t warn him to stop, almost dares him to go further. 
Joel hears you chuckle as his hands palm your ass, “You gonna tell me to stop, pretty girl?” 
“You’re trying to get me pregnant, are you not?” You ask, shifting the pan with the eggs off the heat. 
“That I am,” Joel is now pressed firmly against your back, hands wandering underneath the shirt to rest on your hips, “But you gotta tell me if you want me to stop, just me and you this mornin’, sweetheart.” 
“I’m still good to go,” You murmur, moving your ass into him, feeling his already growing erection in his jeans, “So, give me what I want, stud.” 
He doesn’t need telling twice. Never does. He lets his big palm sink beneath the waistband of your underwear, fingers dipping almost immediately through your folds to sink down to where you’re already soaked. He knows some of that has to be him from last night, but as he drags his fingers up, covered in slick to your clit, hearing how you’re already moaning his name, he knows it’s not all him, this is your slick, mixed with him, and it drives him wild. Drives him wild that he’s marked you like this, that you’re just walking around with a piece of him inside of you. 
He's almost shocked by how quickly he brings you to the edge with his fingers this morning. Clearly, you’re still sensitive from the four orgasms he gave you the night before, something that still makes his chest puff, his male ego boosted that he went one better than Tommy for you. 
“Still all sensitive for me, aren’t you, pretty girl?” He leans down to whisper into your ear as his name falls a mile a minute from your mouth, “Gonna come for me?” 
“Fuck – Joel – ohmygod,” He can feel your legs starting to shake, he makes sure the arm he’s got pressed to your lower belly keeps you upright, pressed against him, “Don’t you dare stop.” 
“Didn’t plan on it.” He chuckles, letting his tongue lick hot stripes to you ear before he sucks the lobe into his mouth and nibbles. 
He feels your legs buckle, but that palm manages to keep you upright as you come for him. The way his name sounds in your high-pitched squeal when you let go for him has his cock throbbing in his jeans. If he was any younger, he could almost guarantee this alone would have him spilling himself into his jeans already. 
He lets you catch your breath for a moment as he undoes his jeans, stepping out of them and his underwear, though he leaves his shirt on. He has to be inside you right now or he thinks he might pass out. He drags your own underwear down your legs, kicking them to the side once you’ve stepped out of them, before he’s literally slamming his cock into you with full force. 
“Jesus Christ, Joel,” You keen, “Fuck, you’re so big inside me.” 
“I know babygirl, I know,” He stills for a moment, letting himself get used to the way your pussy is clenching him, literally pulling him in deeper, “A lot, ain’t it?” 
You let out a sigh as Joel pulls himself out before slamming back into you, “I can take it,” You whine, pushing back to meet his thrusts halfway, “Fuck me harder, Joel.” 
He brings a hand up to fist your hair, pulling your head back so you’re arching into him, “Careful what you wish for,” He moans, “Beggin’ me to go harder, filthy girl.” 
Joel can’t quite believe how good this feels. He thought, when he slid his cock into you from behind that he might feel guilty – bending his brother’s girlfriend over the stove without him knowing anything about it – but the way he’s got his hand tangled in your hair, pulling you back so you arch perfectly for him, his hips snapping into your ass in a way that has his vision blurring, he can’t find it in himself to care. Maybe that makes him a piece of shit, but you asked for this just as much as he wanted to give it to you. 
He uses the hand tight in the strands of your hair to pull your face to the side. He presses a wet kiss to your cheek before he can’t stop himself from asking for it any longer, “Kiss me, pretty girl,” He growls, pulling your mouth to within a hair’s breadth of his own, “Give me that last piece of you, I know you want to.” 
He can see you hesitate. Can sense the flicker of doubt across your face. He won’t force this, but fucking hell does he want it. Wants to feel those pretty lips on his own, wants to know exactly what your mouth tastes like. He grips your hip with his free hand, fingers digging into the skin, sure enough likely to leave bruises there, as he continues his pounding into you. 
All of a sudden, you turn your head fully, your own free hand coming up to tangle in the curls on his head pulling his mouth to yours. The angle makes it messy, more of an open-mouthed mash up of tongues that anything else, but it fucking lights Joel on fire. He pulls away and slips his cock from your tight heat, turning you around so your back is to the stove. He pulls your naked body to his own and attaches his mouth back to yours like his life depended on it. 
He can feel his cock slipping between your slick folds as he focuses his attention on his mouth attached to yours. It’s depraved, the way his tongue melds with your own, licking into your mouth like he’s a man starved. Which he technically is, he can’t remember the last time he kissed a woman, let alone one as perfect as you. 
When he pulls away from you, hands on your ass to lift you up so he can carry you to the kitchen island and sit you on top, he focuses on the string of saliva that attaches your mouth to his. He pulls away just enough that it breaks, settling on the hair on his chin. He almost busts his nut all over your lower belly when you lean across and lick it from his face, grin plastered on your mouth like you know exactly what you’ve just done to him. 
You reach down between the two of you, gripping Joel’s cock in your hand, guiding it back to your spread cunt, “I think you better put this back inside me, huh?” You whisper, looking up at him through your eyelashes, “Think you might be about to come, am I right Joel?” 
“Fuckin’ hell,” He curses, head to the ceiling, “Gonna be the fuckin’ death of me, pretty girl,” He takes his cock from your grip, sliding it slowly back into your slick pussy, watching as you throw your head back in pleasure as he does, “How many babies you want?” He asks, royally pushing his fucking luck now, “Tell me you want more than one, tell me I get to come inside your pretty pussy forever.” 
“You’ll have to ask your brother.” You and your smart fucking mouth, Joel thinks, looking down between the two of you where he’s splitting you open, watching as his thick cock slides effortlessly into your cunt, like you were made for him. 
“Didn’t have to ask him this morning,” Joel growls at you, hand resting at the base of your throat, “This was all you, babygirl.” 
He doesn’t think before he takes hold of the material of the shirt you’re wearing and yanks it open, buttons flying all over the kitchen surface. Joel lets it gape open, those big hands of his gripping the soft skin of your waist as he starts pounding into you again. He leans down and captures one of your nipples in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth, soothing it with the pad of his tongue, before he switches to the other side. 
“Such pretty tits, baby,” He groans, moving his lips up to kiss across your neck, “Even prettier when I put this baby inside you.” 
His cock is brutal inside you. He can see the start of the discomfort on your face, still sore and stretched from last night. Truth be told, he doesn’t think he can hold on much longer, not when he looks down at the sight of you, spread out, dripping slick onto the countertop, legs spread as far as humanely possible, tits bouncing with every hard punch of his cock inside you. 
“Want me to fill you up, babygirl?” He asks, leaning down to capture your lips one last time, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get you alone again, he knows kissing you in front of his brother would probably get him shot, so he’s going to take it all whilst he can. 
“Give it to me Joel, fuck,” You moan, hands gripping his shoulders to keep you upright, “Look at me whilst you do it,” You demands, “I wanna see your eyes when you pump me full of cum.” 
You’re looking up at him, bottom lip bitten between teeth as he stuffs his cock into you twice, three times. He looks you dead in the eye as he lets your name drop from his lips, hand gripping so hard at your skin it’s painful. He does exactly what you say though, looks straight into your eyes as his cock fills your full of his cum. Dark and dangerous, like predator has caught its pray, spread it out underneath him and fully devoured it. 
He lets out the softest of groans as he slips his cock from you, watching as his cum drips from your pussy. It’s depraved, but he takes two of his fingers and pushes as much of it as possible back inside you, curling his fingers up inside you, before he slips them out, covered in his own cum and the slick from your pussy.
He holds them up to your mouth, “You wanna taste, pretty girl?” 
Joel swears he sees the devil when you take hold of his hand and drag that perfect little tongue over his fingers. He thinks he might feel his cock begin to harden again when you take them all the way into your mouth and swirl your tongue over them to get them clean, he’s only a man, he can’t help but imagine what that mouth might feel like wrapped around his cock. 
He helps you down from the counter, passes you the underwear he discarded early and then slips out of his own plaid shirt, offering it to you for ruining the one you were currently wearing. You could very easily wander up the stairs and get another shirt, but you take it from him, wrap it around yourself and do up the buttons. 
“Sit down,” You speak softly to him once he’s got his jeans on properly, “I’ll finish breakfast.” 
Joel watches closely as you pour coffee and reheat the eggs slightly, piling a significantly bigger portion onto his plate than your own. You butter the toast and then sit down next to him, eating in silence. He expects it to be awkward, but it’s the complete opposite. It’s comfortable, warm even, just two people enjoying breakfast together before they must go back to their respective lives outside of each other. 
When you’ve both finishes, you take the plates and stack the in the sink before Joel realizes he’s still got to pick Sarah up. You smile at him when he stands, going to unbutton his shirt to give it back to him when he puts a warm hand on your arm.
“Keep it,” He says softly, “Looks miles better on you than it does on me.” 
Your head dips and then you smile, “Thank you.” 
He doesn’t really know what you’re thanking him for – the shirt? Probably not. But he smiles and kisses your cheek all the same before he’s making sure he’s got his keys and then he’s leaving. 
All Joel can think about on his drive to pick Sarah up is the massive fucking line he’s just crossed. He can paint it in whatever light he wants to – normal couples fuck all the time, at every possible moment, when they’re trying to have a baby, so why should this be any different? That’s all it was, is what he repeats to himself, all fucking day, thinking of the way you begged him to fill you up again, the way your lips felt against his when you finally gave in and kissed him. But there’s still that fucking niggling feeling that he’s fucked it all up, mixed his own feelings in somewhere along the line. He should have never been with you without the knowing stare of his brother, looking out for any signs of concern. 
If only Joel knew that Tommy knew exactly what was happening that morning. If only he knew that you’d padded quietly down the stairs and found him soundly asleep on that couch, first instinct to reach for your phone and sent Tommy that text message. 
Joel seemed to stay the night on the couch. I know you’ll be driving, so totally get if not, but mind if we try again this morning? Might have a bit more luck relying on two instead of one this month. 
You’d waited just moments for Tommy’s reply, standing at the foot of the stairs, watching Joel’s chest rise and fall in his sleep. 
Course not sugar, you can tell me all about it when I get in and get you all to myself. 
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mj0702 · 6 months ago
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For me luv @rocketfoot28
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“Come one mi neña” Mapí yelled in your ear next to you on the spanish bench where you were wedged between her and Misa Rodriguez “Cheer Alexia on”
“I rather shoot meself in me foot” you grumbled sinking deeper into the seat hoping no one would recognise you or even worse take pictures of you
“Por que?” Mapí asked hyped up
You didn't even bother to answer just threw a dirty look her way huffing annoyed
“What's wrong with mi neña?” the tattooed spaniard nudged you lightly
“Fuck off María” you exploded in her face before standing up moving to the end of the bench
“What did you do Mapí?” Misa asked confused as you pushed yourself past her quite aggressively
“Nothing... I don't know what's wrong with the neña... I swear she's normally very nice...” Mapí looked after you confused
“Can't believe they did that to me” you grumbled more to yourself than anyone sporting the darkest look you've ever did when your phone vibrated in your pocket and you took it out to find a message from your sister
“If you look any darker you could rule the death star”... very funny Lucy” you looked around just to find your face on the big stadium screen
“Oh fuck me” you groaned loudly as you threw up your arms annoyed which made several heads turn your way
“What?” you snapped aggressively towards the spanish bench and most players went back to mind their business – most. Next thing you know you were flanked by Ona and Mapí.
“Talk to me Bebita” Ona said softly
“You let them... go away... all of you” you sneered and your sisters girlfriend immediately saw that there was no use in trying to get you to talk
“Come on Maps...” the young spaniard said and pulled her teammate away which you were very thankful for
“Come on Kyra... get more into the 1v1” you yelled loudly from right next to the bench still wearing Jennis warm up shirt “Don't be scared of that lanky spaniard”
“I thought I was sexy spaniard” Jenni said confused a minute later as she came to pick up the ball for a throw in
“Right now you are I-hate-you-spaniard” you growled at her and to her sadness she didn't have time to clear out anything that was going on with you
“Hayley.... HAY.... to Sam!” you yelled again as you saw Sam Kerr running with Hayley completely open and seconds later there was a goal – for Australia.
The pure shock and horror and betrayal on the spanish faces where enough for you to sit back down on their bench smiling proudly
“Nena...” Mapí whimpered next to you looking at you like a kicked puppy
“Sí?” you sing-songed happily
“How... how could you??” the tattooed spaniard looked at you hurt
“Hurts when someone does something you don't like doesn't it??” you looked her straight in the eye until she looked away
“Cariño...” Alexia walked over to you smiling widely while you were occupied consoling the Australian players
“Go away Putellas” you barked and threw her a dirty look that made the blonde stop dead in her tracks staring at you lost
“You played amazing Ky...” you said softly as you crouching next to her squeezing the young Australians shoulder “... you really rocked that mids...”
“Y/n...” Alexia said sternly after Mapí quickly talked to her and walked off again “.... a word?”
“Not now” you looked at her darkly
“Oh but I mean now...” the blonde spaniard said and pulled you up and away from Kyra
“Hey!” you exclaimed getting pissed as the spanish captain
“No...” Alexia said sternly pulling you into the tunnel before stopping and turning to you “You tell me right now why you are so... unfair”
“Unfair??? You say I'm unfair?” you said bewildered
“Mapí told me the first goal from Australia was your doing?!” the blonde argued with you
“And? You won... congratulations.. Olympic Gold Medallist... woohoo... you did it again – another title under your belt” you said angrily
“What is this about Cari?” Alexia said softly after a second
“Did you even consider that I didn't wear that Australian Jersey to support Australia but to support a friend... a young player who played her first Olympics AND Final? That I wore that Jersey to just show SOME support to friends...?” you looked at Alexia getting thrown off by her softness
“Aren't we friends too?” the blonde asked smiling softly
“No you aren't” you said your voice strong as you turned around walking towards the pitch again letting a confused and hurt Alexia behind “... you are family”
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mi-lady-kiiira · 1 year ago
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Chifuyu thinking he broke you after giving you a shaking orgasm.
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"Chifu'...fuck, a-ah!"
Chifuyu sat behind you with his knees planted on either side of your hips.
His blonde bangs fell across his forehead, tongue lolled out of his mouth as he rubbed his thumb faster and faster in circles on your engorged clit.
Two fingers slipped inside you with very minimal resistance due to how wet you were.
"You're so wet, baby. Couldn't wait for me to get off of work so I could come fuck you, huh?"
His aquamarine eyes settled on the juncture between your spread ass cheeks and the creamy translucent substance coating your inner thighs.
"Mmm, Fuyu...feels s-so good..."
You murmured with your cheek pressed against the cool silk of the pillow. Your bonnet had slid halfway off of your head, but Chifuyu fixed it for you and laid a soft kiss upon your tawny cheek.
It was almost embarassing how close you were to cumming just from Chifuyu's fingers playing with your swollen clit, but he was so good at it that he'd often make you come several times from his fingers alone before he even put his cock in you.
"That's right, baby. You close to cumming all over my fingers, aren't you?"
He sped up his actions, thrusting deeper with the two inside and pressing his thumb down directly on top of the little button, moving it from side to side.
Your thighs enclosed around his hand and began to quiver which made Chifuyu grin like a Chesire cat.
"Come on, open up for me, babe. Trying to get you there, sweet girl."
"'Fuyu, I can't! You're about to make me cum, you-!"
A soft gasp left your parted lips as a harsh shiver raked through your entire body. Chifuyu's hand was definitely stuck between your legs now as you shook and convulsed.
His eyes widened in shock. Usually, you might shiver a bit while cumming but you'd recover quickly.
Panic began to sink into his chest and he ripped his hand from between your legs like he'd been burned when you didn't stop shaking. Your head twisted to the side and you drew your knees up towards your chest.
"Shit! Oh shit...baby? You okay? Y/N?"
Baji often spoke to Chifuyu about all the women Baji himself had fucked with and how he always had them shaking and cumming all over themselves, but Chifuyu just took his words with a grain of salt, attributing it to simple "locker room talk."
He didn't actually think that a 'shaking orgasm' was a real thing, which is why he was so horrified at your body's reaction.
Poor thing was getting ready to grab his phone and call an ambulance when you opened your eyes and smiled up at him sweetly.
"Y/N! Are you alright?!"
"Mhm. That was amazing, 'Fuyu. Why are you looking so scared?"
He grabbed your hand and pressed a chaste kiss to the back of it.
"Because I was. You should have seen the way you folded in on yourself like you were in pain. I thought I hit the wrong thing and made you have a seizure or something."
You couldn't stop the giggle from leaving your lips as you looked up into his wide baby blue eyes.
"Oh, Bunny, you're so cute. I don't know if what you just said is possible but that was one of the best orgasms you've ever given me."
"Really?" He bit his lip shyly, cheeks warm and as red as cherry tomatoes.
"...Can I maybe try it again?"
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melodic-haze · 8 months ago
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Thinking about it now, yk who I'm most interested to see with reader who's Akivili's reincarnation but doesn't realise? Black Swan.
I can't help but keep thinking like. Imagine instead of the scene with Acheron, it's you who she wants to dance with. And why would you ever want to turn her down yk? She's beauty, she's grace, nobody would ever refuse her in your place.
It's clumsy at first, you never really knew that you'd be dancing in such a formal setting so you're kinda lost in this kind of situation. But don't worry, cuz Black Swan is here to guide you through every step until it all feels like a smooth wordless exchange between the two of you!!
She does find it slightly odd though, how everyone else seems to be looking at the two of you-- no, looking at you with curiosity and a want to be closer to you, with some of them even shuffling just a tad bit to dance nearby. It could be because you were one of the mysterious explorers of the cosmos......but for some reason she knew within her that that's not right
So she's undoubtedly curious, and you can see that glint in her eye as she pulls you in while you dance, and you hear her murmur "let me see you" before you feel a minor wave of something off briefly destabilising you before things go normal again. Well, not necessarily normal, considering how you feel more connected to your dance partner than ever and you feel this sense of foreboding unease from so far away......but beyond how you had to keep your guard up, it wasn't hurting you.
Things were. NOT the same in Black Swan's case. She sees your life before you got to Penacony, before your time as a Nameless, before you even discovered a passion for exploting the great beyond!! But she sees that there is another layer—one so old and so fractured and so broken and so unbelievably incomprehensible.
Like an Aeon.
The Memokeeper, much too curious for her own good to back down now, pushes through despite all the warning signs not to. These memories from beyond your supposed time? All fractured, irreparable, corrupted all through hell and back. Some of the ones she CAN comprehend is time spent by.. you and people that you've most definitely never known, all at so many different times and seemingly eras and they all melt into amalgamations of things she is sure you've NEVER experienced so what's going on????
And when she sifts through them all, what waits for her is an empty void. A purely empty space, the stars practically refusing to decorate this scape unlike before she went deeper into your mind.
And she sees youTHEM
And THEYyou reach out to her and attempt to drag her with youHERheTHEM to have her witness the lonely death of--
She severes the connection with a yelp—snaps out of it more like—as you dip her on complete accident because you placed your foot wrong. You're so stupidly proud of the save before you look at Black Swan and she looks like she's just had the most HORRIBLE scare paralysis possible. THEN your smile drops
You ask her if she's okay just in case she's absolutely unimpressed you, and it is only now when you notice all the attention on you and you ONLY❗️❗️❗️ And you pointedly narrow your eyes at her when she shakes her head and grits her teeth the slightest bit before answering. But she doesn't relent so okay fine, you won't.
But when she looks back into your eyes again and see that fire that was supposed to be briefly extinguished all those many years ago, not only is she even more intrigued, but.. perhaps even a little scared for you too.
After all, what awaits you at the end of your journey: the line that you had reached so long ago, or a new ending that over writes that abyssal loneliness?
..She hopes for dear life it's not the former.
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postoctobrist · 1 month ago
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When me and my friends were young (but not that young) our small hometown town somehow got the money to build a 1000ft long pedestrian suspension bridge. We were bored and found that if we grabbed the suspension cable at its lowest point and pushed and pulled it at the right frequency we could slowly build up oscillations in the bridge. You could feel the walkway swaying underneath us and see the movement in the main suspension cable. We would do this with several people with one person counting out the beat until the oscillations got so large that the suspenders attaching the walk way to the main cable started to slam into the hand rail and make a horrible clanging noise. Then we would all be scared, and no longer bored so we would stop.
While doing this I was aware of the differential equations describing first and second order resonance in elastic structures with and without dampening. I had studied several engineering disasters where cyclic loading close to some multiple of the resonance frequency lead to collapse of buildings and bridges. It is a small town and I was bored.
I am bad at transitions, and I would like to ask for advice/articulate something. Mostly to force myself to articulate thoughts I have never spoken about, and you do not have to read all this. Because it is very long and large parts of it are honestly pretty horrible. I have for some time been making a very conscious effort to not think about "my gender". Because I felt that there would be no use in thinking about myself through that lens. Telling myself that I can do whatever I want regardless of gender. This seemed to work for me except I find myself paralyzed. I cannot imagine myself in a romantic or sexual relationship. Romantic or sexual attention I receive feels like it is intended for somebody else. Even in situations that should be simple where attraction is mutual I feel confused and conflicted. As I write this I am wearing clothes somebody gave to me almost a decade ago, they have holes in them and I never really considered what they look like to other people. A couple times a year when I make budget or apply for a job etc I thin about the future but only ever a year or two ahead. This future blindness gets so bad I often can't even make plans for the weekend. I find myself looking at my reflection as if trying to find something wrong with my appearance but I couldn't put my finger on any specific flaw. I look like an attractive man, what else could I ask for.
I have recently allowed myself to think about this and I am not sure that it is helping. I realize now that being a man can be an exhausting constant effort for me, and that certain things that I have been doing can alleviate this pressure. When I wear my long hair down, I do not imagine that I have become a women, but the act of wearing my long hair down and shaving my entire face is not something I would do to look like the manliest man. This almost symbolic rejection of my internal drive to act as a man has a profound effect on me. Especially when I am alone I find this very calming, my mind is a little quieter, my breathing is a little deeper.
However in public this is often over shadowed by a new discomfort. My already ever present sense of danger in public is heightened. Around many men I feel physically unsafe, as if a threat of violence lies just under the surface of every interaction. Around women my discomfort around men and with myself seem to combine and I cannot shake the feeling that I will make them feel unsafe. Making women feel unsafe makes me unsafe and so on. All this is worse the more feminine I am.
My small symbolic gestures of femininity in private would seem to have no real downside. Their benefits seem to come into effect as soon as stop trying to look masculine. However in the perception of others I feel a pressure to appear either completely man or women. I now find myself trying to appear feminine and this might be worse. Outside perception of me feels completely beyond my control. Which is a good excuse for me to repress any thoughts or feelings about it. I want to accept that this is outside my control, and also that I desperately want to control it.
Some of things I believe about this view of me from the outside are not things I would ever want to put on anyone else. I have never seen a person that would look worse with some musculature, and have always found strong people aesthetically pleasing and attractive. I enjoy being strong, it practical utility, the sense of security it provides me, and as an accomplishment I am proud of. Yet at the same time I sometimes find myself revolted by my muscles. My size, my veins, my bones, nothing about them is wrong except that they are there.
I feel I need to juxtapose any feminine attributes against my masculine ones (one earring is allowed but with short hair. Long hair is allowed in a bun but with stubble). To appear as a feminine man and not a failed attempt at manliness. Is this my reaction to a societal pressure or my own misandry against weak men? I have no way of knowing. Similarly I feel that the only way to be extremely feminine or a woman would be to subject myself to sexual objectification, and infantilization ("femboys" are only feminine as long as they are somebodies fetish and because they are boys and not adults). Again I cannot say if this is my reaction to a societal trend or my own judgement on other people. Either way I cannot help but feel that this pedophilic degrading view of femininity and women is a moral sin I have committed. Yet what possible use could there be in applying a moral judgement on my own thoughts? I don't choose to feel or think these things. I don't want to wear booty shorts, or dress up like a princess. Do I think less of those who do? If don't subject myself to this degradation in exchange for femininity will it be because I have the self respect of a man? Or is it just cowardice.
I don't want to look like a trans women. I want what my grandma has. She is a matriarch. The varicose veins on her arms, her short hair, a raspy laugh, a double mastectomy, these things are just the type of women she is. She is a mother of mothers. She might not be asked to pray over the meal, but her wisdom is an open secret among those that are really looking for ruthlessly honest advice. She must enjoy wearing jewelry (or she wouldn't bother) but never seems to take it too seriously. When telling a story about how she fought a bear off her daughters or cracking a joke about how she will die any day now her womanhood is so effortless, so inconsequential, so in the background that it almost seems almost useless.
oh my fucking god lady just take the fucking estrogen
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andy-wm · 5 months ago
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https://x.com/jmnberries/status/1817503692083396934
LOUD AND CLEAR
Said by Jimin himself. He's searching for the person he's meant to be with, the one his heart is waiting for. He passes one person after another thinking is it you or you. And guess what ? IT WAS ALWAYS A WOMAN.
You and your theory about WHO proven wrong for 975939488848th time 😛
My goodness Anon, are you telling me my theory has been discussed that many times? That's quite an achievement! I didn't know my theories - or I - had such a far reaching impact.
[basking in the glow of this proud moment]
Ok I'm done basking, now back to the ask:
For those of you playing along at home, here's the tweet Anon sent in, for context.
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Anon, I'm going to quote you, since you said it so succinctly...
"He passes one person after another thinking 'is it you or you'. And guess what ? IT WAS ALWAYS A WOMAN."
Absolutely correct Anon!
It WAS always a woman
I'm glad we agree on this.
You also said "He's searching for the person he's meant to be with, the one his heart is waiting for."
Yes! We agree on this too!
He's definitely working hard to find the one his heart is waiting for - you said it yourself, he's searching. He's actively looking for them.
We're doing well so far...
Oh but context is important here, right??
We should probably clarify that he's actually describing the last scene of the MV - the one he's about to film. He's not describing himself or his own life.
Yes, to be totally transparent, Jimin is describing a scene he's shooting for the MV of a song - a song he asked Jon Bellion to write. A song he himself didn't contribute to beyond that. He didn't write the visual narrative for the MV either, that was the creatives at Lumpens. No doubt he gave a lot of input but he didn't provide the material.
Did you forget that part, Anon? Or did you think he was actually describing his own life? Or... were you sneakily pretending he was talking about his real life when he said those things, because that suited your argument?
If you were trying to make it sound like he was talking about his own personal lived experiences, that kinda sucks. Because we love Jimin for WHO HE IS. We don't need to make shit up about his life and pretend things are real when they aren't.
We don't need to pretend, Anon, we can just observe, write about what we see - honestly and objectively and without judgement - and then step back and look at the situation.
I guess you might be wondering how come I'm analysing everything if I think we should just be talking about what we see. Fair call. I don't mean that we can't read between the lines or make educated (substantiated) guesses that we can back up with facts (and cite our sources - I am a librarian after all). I also don't mean we can't look deeper than the surface. There are always layers of meaning and hidden messages in the art produced for BTS. I get right into it because I enjoy it - my background is in visual arts analysis so it's kinda my jam - but I'm not just making shit up. I have a wealth of learning and experience I'm basing my analysis on. I'm also not claiming that it's fact - it's an interpretation - It's my interpretation (and just quietly I am pretty good at this stuff so it's a justified and plausible interpretation).
What I'm saying is don't purposefully misinterpret what you see to mislead, or to fuel an opinion or argument that doesn't stand up otherwise. If you have to bend the truth to back up your argument, you might want to reconsider that argument. Theory is built on evidence, not the other way around.
But back to Jimin...
Of course it's perfectly possible that he did spend several years thinking he would one day find true love with a woman. Maybe he dated loads of women. Maybe he came close to finding a deep love with one or more of them. And if he did, I hope those were happy times for him (or at least meaningful times if happiness was elusive). I would never think of denying that if I saw evidence of it, or judging him for who he loves (or loved). I don't think there's any wrong or right here - whether it's heterosexual or bisexual or asexual or gay or queer or into kink or poly or whatever else he is or does. Who he fucks or who he loves or who he feels emotionally safe with - and for many of us humans those are not necessarily even the same people - that's his business.
His life, his body, his business.
I don't judge Jimin. I just admire and celebrate him for who he is.
And I wish him happiness.
I wish them both so, so much happiness.
That's the whole point of all of this, really.
That's why I watch Jimin and Jungkook together, Anon. Not because I want them to be together or because I think they should be, but because I see real happiness when they are together.
True happiness and true love are rare and beautiful things.
I think that's why most of us Jikookers are here, Anon. Because the joy we see and the delight we feel, just from witnessing these two beautiful people being happy, is real.
I'm not saying ALL of us are altruistic. Some Jikookers are full of shit. They covet one or both of them and they think supporting Jikook's relationship entitles them to make judgements or assumptions or claims about Jimin and JK. They get possessive, they objectify, they demand things. Some people who claim to support Jikook have spite and hatred in their hearts... yes, we have our share of nut jobs too.
But the majority of genuine Jikook supporters I encounter are simply here to celebrate the greatest love story we've ever seen. We're here to get behind two beautiful men who clearly love each other despite the odds against them. We're here to bask in the reflection of their glow and it's bloody wonderful.
But, I digress....
Let's go back to the making of the MV for WHO...
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<and here I go again with the analysis>
Here Jimin describes the MV, just like when talking about the final scene. He says it's like a musical movie.
"Right now we're filming one of my favourite parts. It's like a musical movie." There's definitely a narrative here, it's the part where he joins 6 other male dancers, an obvious nod to BTS.
We already know there 's a narrative, but Jimin confirms it for us here.
So let's look again at the narrative:
Throughout this production we can see that the dance (not choreographed by Jimin) and the lyrics (not written by Jimin) have been created/chosen to show /tell us that Jimin (the performer) is searching among all these women for the love of his life.
THAT'S *PART* OF THE STORY THEY ARE TELLING.
But it leaves out a pretty big development ...
He was searching for love, looking at every woman just as he was supposed to, but someone (WHO?) crashed into his life and stopped him in his tracks. Yes, that someone fell directly into his path in a way that couldn't be ignored.
Jimin said
"I try to see WHO I'm meant to be with... is it you? Is it you?"
It doesn't sound like he was giving anyone much of a chance, does it? It sounds more like he was searching for someone in particular.
Maybe it was no accident. Maybe he was searching for WHO all along and he just didn't realise, until he found him.
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Ok I am done talking (finally)
I'll finish responding to this ask so we can all go on with our lives.
To respond to your specific query, Anon:
Jimin doesn't say he's searching for a woman himself, does he? Not even in that quote you supplied.
He could have said "women walk past me" but he said "people walk past me".
He could have said he's trying to see which of these women he's meant to be with, but instead he said "who I'm meant to be with"
We can't ignore him saying WHO, Anon.
The song isn't called Which woman?
The song is called WHO
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Anon, if you stuck with me all the way through this post, I commend you.
And yes, I was a bit facetious in the beginning, in my defence I had a shitty day at work. But I responded to you as the adult I imagine you to be, even though your language was a little on the childish side. I assume you were intending to piss me off but I enjoyed answering to your ask, so thank you regardless.
If you are still here I want to ask you a few genuine questions in return... I'd love to hear your honest answer.
Why, in the face of all the evidence, it's so difficult to accept that Jimin and Jungkook have a bond that goes beyond friendship or brotherhood?
They look like they're vey happy together, so why do you want them to not be together?
Why is it a problem for you if they love each other? Homophobia is learned behaviour. Who did you learn it from?
And probably my most burning question:
Have you ever experienced true, deep, lasting love?
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flower-boi16 · 9 months ago
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The Problems With Charlie As The Main Protagonist
I've spoken about my thoughts on Charlie as a character before a few times on this blog, but I think it's finally time to discuss why Charlie isn't exactly the best protagonist. On the surface, there doesn't seem to be much wrong with her, she's likable and endearing enough and she's easy to root for. But...once you look deeper, the problems begin to rear their ugly head.
1. Charlie Never Grows
The first major issue with Charlie as a character is how she never really grows over the course of the first season. The show never really gives her much of an arc...? Like, by the end of the season, what does Charlie really learn by the end? The only thing I can think of is that she was right about sinners being redeemed and...that's it.
And it doesn't really make Charlie that particularly compelling as a character, she's entirely stagnant. She does have a conflict with her father, which, while executed fine, isn't enough to make her a developed character. She only gets small tinges of development and that isn't really enough for me.
Charlie doesn't learn anything or grow as a character, which makes her pretty underdeveloped as a character. The show never really gives her any real character flaws to grow from and become a better person, she's always portrayed as in the right anyway and never challenged once. Speaking of that...
2. Charlie is Always Right
This more or less ties back into the "Charlie never grows" point I've said before and I've talked about this several times before, but it's still an issue with Charlie's character; she is ALWAYS in the right. Charlie's "everyone can be redeemed" mentality is never once challenged by the narrative, and anybody who does oppose Charlie in any way is considered as wrong by the narrative.
The reason why this is a problem is because Hazbin Hotel heavily preaches about being against black-and-white moralities, as seen with Heaven and especially Adam. Heaven is meant to be seen as bad because of its black-and-white mindset of "Sinners can't be redeemed and never will". This is put on full display with Adam, and his song Hell is Forever, to the point it literally includes lyrics like "the rules are black and white there's no use in trying to fight it".
You Didn't Know further pushes this with this line "the rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say and you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again".
So the show wants to push a message of "black and white morals are bad", but...it's rendered moot by the fact that Charlie is purely portrayed as in the right. Charlie is completely correct, everybody can be redeemed, everyone even the most evil people who did the worst possible things can still be good, and anyone who opposes her is wrong cuz she's completely in the right...gee, for a show so heavily against black-and-white moralities...doesn't this all seem very black and white in it of itself?
Charlie's "everyone can be redeemed" mentality is just as black and white as Adam's "nobody can be redeemed", they are both extremes leaning in opposite directions, that are also both wrong in their own ways, yet the show portrays Charlie's extreme as the right one and Adam's as the wrong one.
I've already talked about this before but Adam is a pure straw character; he only exists so Charlie can prove him wrong, he cant have any real character depth beyond being a generic asshole or have a real point because the show is so dead-set on making Charlie purely in the right no matter what; the narrative never challenges her and anyone who opposes her is portrayed as automatically in the wrong.
This is not the only time this happens btw. In episode 5, Lucifer is also portrayed as automatically wrong for opposing his daughter’s goals. He himself says that “Our people are AWFUL. They got gifted free will and look what they did with it!”, and the show…never counters this, despite what Lucifer is saying…being true. The people in Hell ARE awful and it's their own fault, many of them ARE deserving of death because…well, their shitty people.
Charlie is never challenged once throughout the show and its a problem because not only does it fly in the face of the show being so anti black and white, it also wastes an opportunity for the show to develop Charlie as a character; with her learning that some people can't be redeemed because they either are incapable or uninterested in changing.
That would fit more with the show’s anti-black-and-white themes and also have Charlie go through real growth as a character as she learns that not everything is all sunshine and rainbows. But sadly, we can't really have that.
So Charlie's ideals are never challenged by the narrative and thus it not only flies in the face of the show's themes it also wastes an opportunity for Charlie to grow as a character. Now it's best to get into the next issue with her...
3. Charlie is Barely Focused On
Another big issue with Charlie as the show's main protagonist is that the show doesn't really focus on her that much, especially the first half. Now, shows don't need to focus on the main protagonist at all times, obviously giving some screen time to other characters is definitely something shows should do.
But the problem is that Charlie gets very LITTLE focus in the series despite being the main protagonist, and this contributes to the problem of her being underdeveloped. The first half of the show is especially bad at this; episode 1 Is the only episode in the first half that focuses on Charlie, but even then it's overtaken by the B-plot involving the other characters trying to film a commercial.
Episodes 2&3 are entirely dedicated to what characters like Alastor or Angel Dust are doing and episode 4 is completely focused on Angel and his arc. It contributes to the issue of the show not being able to develop Charlie that much as a character because she's constantly being overshadowed by other characters. The second half is better in this regard for focusing more on Charlie but still, for the first half of the show, it feels like Charlie is overshadowed by other characters which is embarrassing because, well, she's the main character, yet she feels like she's barely gotten any actual spotlight.
4. Conclusion
I want to love Charlie as a character. I really do. I mean, she's a part of one of my favorite character archetypes. I always LOVE over joyful optimistic characters because I just find them a joy to watch on screen, but sadly, Charlie doesn't have much depth beyond that archetype. She isn't that developed making her fail to be much of a compelling protagonist, her ideology is never challenged by the narrative wasting an opportunity for her to grow and contradicting the show's themes, and she's heavily overshadowed by other characters despite being the main protagonist.
So ya, that's why Charlie isn't that great of a protagonist...bye.
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ryuseiired · 5 months ago
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on mahiru's relationship
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I wanted to write something up really quickly as to my opinions on Mahiru's relationship and what the dynamic there was like. I've seen a lot of people identify her behavior as "toxic", and some people even state that the relationship must have been toxic on both sides (often leaning heavily on the cake in I Love You as a metaphor), but I don't often see this stuff dived into deeper than either identifying Mahiru's bad behaviors or just saying they're both "toxic" without really talking about... why. Or what that means. Or how her boyfriend is toxic. I don't even really like the word toxic in this case because I feel like it's just being used without really delving into why or how in any real way, it's net zero information other than telling us it's bad. I want to step aside from the perpetrator-victim dynamic that MILGRAM puts things in the framework of. My key thesis is this: Their relationship is hurting them both in different ways. Both of their desires/needs are incompatible and going unmet. Neither of them are bad or wrong for wanting what they want, although Mahiru does display several behaviors that, while understandable, are ultimately harmful and unhealthy.
Let's look at the cake metaphor again. I see a lot of people say that the cake represents toxicity/bad behavior/unhealthiness in the relationship and that it's clearly both-sided because they're feeding it to each other. I don't... think this is a wrong interpretation, per se, but I think it misses an aspect that's kind of key to me?
In my opinion, the cake also majorly represents attention/love. Notice how the pieces Mahiru's boyfriend is feeding her are smaller than what she's feeding him?
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When Mahiru is being fed the cake we never see it portrayed as anything but cake. She looks happy. She thrives off this attention. When her boyfriend is being fed the (larger piece of) cake... he sees it as a dead rat. We only see the rat transition when it's Mahiru feeding the cake, because he's the only one who is being smothered by the love/affection. She feeds her boyfriend more cake because that's what she thinks will make him happy- because love and attention are the things that make her happy. Because that's what she wants him to do. To put it another way: she's smothering him while he's not giving her enough.
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Mahiru is clingy and overly-involved, this is no secret. She needs attention, thrives off it, and struggles with being alone or denied it. She wants to commit to each other and be married quickly after entering a relationship and believes the ultimate form of love is always being together.
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I don't think she's getting what she wants from her boyfriend. Part of what I believe is going on here is that Mahiru convinces herself she's happy/convinces herself that she should be self-sacrificing for the relationship, then builds up resentment and gets upset when what she expects in return is still unmet, doing things like the scene in TIHTBILWY when she calls him in the middle of the night or even the subtler implications such as when, in the text from the MV, she mentions she "practically begged him" to come along to see a movie with her. This is where I think the fights she mentions come from, although she was "happy to get hurt." She pretends to be OK with how things are, but she doesn't really want to be and it spills out and she ends up being overly demanding. Mahiru wants more from him, and he can't give it to her.
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Not to say Mahiru's high standards are easy to meet by any means, or that they're completely realistic- she clearly has a very idealized idea of how love and relationships should be- but if what you want/need out of a relationship isn't being met, I feel like it's not entirely the wrong response to be upset about that, you know? She clearly feels hurt by not receiving the same amount of love and attention she's putting in, though it's downplayed in both MVs either to idealize the relationship or to focus on her guilt. Where Mahiru's problem behavior comes in, in my opinion, isn't so much this desire for more attention from her partner, it's that she's then ignoring his equally valid needs in favor of her own.
From what we see of Mahiru's flaws, which are clearly causing conflict and upsetting him, if I had to guess as to his behavior I'd assume he's probably the type of person who needs more space in a relationship which he evidently isn't getting. Mahiru's enthusiasm and passion for him that he once loved becomes overbearing and cuts into his ability to spend some much-needed time alone, he tries to pull away further to assert himself, Mahiru tries even harder to pull him closer because she wants him closer and makes it worse... until it ends up all going irreversibly wrong.
I think part of Mahiru's character is built on contradictory traits that are both true at the same time. She's very selfless and believes in sacrificing and doing things for her partner, having a tendency to copy other people and do what she thinks she should be doing (note the text in TIHTBILWY where she mentions impulsively buying the same bread as him or saying her hobby is running, even though these things aren't true to herself, or interrogation answer where she says she'd try smoking if her partner did). She wants to fulfil the service-oriented role of being a traditional wife and even mentions having trained for it. She offers immediately for Es to come to her for advice in the first voice drama, and selflessly states she doesn't resent either their or Kotoko's judgement in the second voice drama.
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And yet she ignores their discomfort with the topic of romance in the same conversation where she offers herself as a support to them, continuing to poke and prod about how surely they'll like someone someday. She disregards her boyfriend's feelings when they contradict with her own. She puts her own self-interests above others' discomfort. She's just as selfish as she is selfless.
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But I don't think Mahiru meant to hurt anyone, nor do I think she fully comprehended the severity of her behaviors in her relationship at first. Do I think she understands now? Do I think she feels bad about it? Partially, but I also understand where people are coming from when they assume she doesn't at all, even though I disagree with that assessment of things. Part of this issue is that it seems to me that Mahiru (at least in some instances) thinks of her problem behaviors which hurt her boyfriend and loving someone/being in a relationship at all as inseparable and the same thing.
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Mahiru as portrayed in the I Love You MV feels bad about hurting her boyfriend. She acknowledges she's hurt him and that she was doing it wrong in the lyrics of the MV. She states in her voice dramas that she never wanted to kill or hurt anyone. The imagery even shows her being the one at fault for his death in the opening scene.
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But this is where the contradictions come back in. At the same time, she struggles with believing she's done something wrong because the idea of finding love is her life's purpose. Her reason for living. She says she doesn't think she's done anything wrong in the voice drama, but I don't think that's fully true, given the lyrics above as well as the imagery throughout I Love You- she literally portrays herself holding his noose, that's not the sort of imagery something canonically stated to be taken from the prisoners' minds would conjure up if there wasn't any guilt or feeling of responsibility for his death there.
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One way to resolve this is the idea that Mahiru just says she believes she's done nothing wrong because she wants to believe it. Because she doesn't know how to love the right way without falling into her problem behaviors, and she feels she can't live without love. Because she knows she's done something wrong, and that she smothered and hurt him, but she doesn't know what else love is and she desperately wants to love and be loved.
This got long and I don't really have a good conclusion to it, I just wanted to talk a bit about my interpretation. Obviously nobody has to see this the way I do and you're welcome to disagree, I just thought it'd be worth writing something up about my perception of her relationship and how I think she feels about her actions.
Thank you if you've read this far!
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rabarbarzcukrem · 2 years ago
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The eternal opposing relationship between the two sides of a mirror
or: In defense of Shiori
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I feel like Shiori is one of the most controversial characters in Utena. Some love her, others despise her. And I don't have a problem with people having strong opinions on her character. What bothers me is the tendency to exaggerate her most negative traits, focus on her most harmful actions, completely ignore any redeeming qualities she might have and then paint her as a one dimensional villainous caricature, a mean straight girl who plays with the lesbian's feelings for the sake of it, without anything deeper going on.
I'm aware of the fact that some people refer to her like that in endearment or in a satirical fashion, and I'm not saying that you can't consider her your favorite problematic evil girl representation. I'm only trying to make people realize that it's her complexity that actually makes her such a compelling character.
I've seen people call Shiori all sorts of names, some of which were baffling enough to make me wonder if they even remembered what happens in the show, and weren't just judging a version of the character that they made up in their head.
So, let's look at the things Shiori actually does, throughout the course of the story.
Disclaimer: I'm only going to take the series into the account here, because I think we can all agree that everyone's characterization and personality differs at least slightly in the movie. Background characters also get a lot less screen time to explain their motivations in order to fully focus on Anthy's journey and struggles, which is understandable.
1. She "steals" the boy from Juri.
This is her biggest crime, which seems to define her from the very beginning. Even though Juri didn't actually have any romantic feelings for him, this action is detrimental to their relationship - it breaks the trio apart, isolates Juri from the pair, is an act of betrayal against her and proves it was done with full awareness that it would hurt Juri emotionally.
Shiori is a deeply insecure person, who constantly feels inadequate and beneath other people. The only reason why Juri seemed to actually like her that Shiori could think of was pity, and even when she found out she was the object of her romantic affection all along, she still struggled to comprehend it. Her self loathing and constant perceived inferiority make her desperate to gain any sort of control over her life and relationships, but they're also the exact reason she feels that the only way she could ever do that is by hurting others. She's always one step below and incapable of crossing that distance, therefore the only way to become equal to people is to bring them down to her level, by humiliation.
When she "steals" the boy from Juri, she achieves that. For a moment, she feels good about herself and leaves Ohtori thinking that she has found the answer, the solution. But she's wrong. From that moment on, it becomes more and more apparent to her that what she did was never out of love for the boy, even though she doesn't let herself acknowledge it fully. Because the truth is, Shiori actually regrets hurting Juri, which she admits herself during her elevator confession.
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When the guilt starts getting to her, her confidence high wears off, and she ends up feeling ever worse.
That's why she breaks up with him and comes back. She's not ready to leave yet, not ready to progress. There's still something binding her to Ohtori - Juri, and Shiori's unresolved feelings for her.
2. She tries to set things right with Juri and to fix their relationship.
Even though at this point Shiori still thinks that Juri only ever associated herself with her out of pity, she still makes several attempts to get closer to Juri, who understandably (albeit coldly) turns her down ever time. This is a very clear sign of conflicting feelings Shiori has for Juri - jealousy and admiration, resentment and longing, hate and love. After all, Shiori admits that the two practically grew up together. Their friendship may have always felt fake to Shiori, but she clearly cherished it deeply.
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3. The Black Rose Arc.
First of all, we should establish what is the purpose of this arc and how it functions. It explores the motivations of background characters and shows their worst side to the audience. The characters that end up in the elevator are the most unstable, vulnerable ones, with the least power in the system, in unequal and/or exploitive relationships with the duelists and their agency under threat. Mikage offers them a way to gain that power by making them follow their most toxic, negative emotions. And despite all other characters doing exactly that, from what I've seen Shiori is the one that gets the most hate for it. I don't think she should be judged any harsher for what she did under the influence of the black rose than, let's say, Wakaba or Kozue. Especially because the reason all of them ended up in that elevator is because they recognized that these urges were harmful and were seeking help and counseling.
What this arc does do is reveal how Shiori's inferiority complex drives her to act against her own desires. Even though she longs for things to be different, even though she is not happy at all with how her relationship with Juri looks like, she is unable to fix it, because that would require her to consider her own affection for Juri. And she can't do that, because it would mean admitting that she's not stronger than Juri, that she hasn't beaten her, that she's doesn't have control and an advantage over her. Although she tries to keep up this smug, self-assured facade, the reality shines through.
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They key to understanding Shiori is noticing that she specifically doesn't want to acknowledge that Juri's feelings are reciprocated, and the obsession is mutual. If you paint their relationship as one sided, you're actually falling for her act.
4. She enters a relationship with Ruka.
Ruka is a handsome (arguable), respected boy who appears out of nowhere and starts showing interest in Shiori. It's obvious that for an insecure girl, who in addition struggles with confusing repressed feelings, this would be something unthinkably wonderful. The affection and praise she gets from him is exactly what her low self-esteem craves. You might be wondering why she didn't perceive Juri's feelings for her in the same way. And a part of the answer might be that, post nameless-boy-incident, Juri was nothing but cold to her. She might have been pining after Shiori from afar, but in the end she's distant and untouchable, and they're divided by their messy past. Meanwhile Ruka is a clean slate, seems openly affectionate, engaged in their relationship and he pays attention to her. But I think the main thing that makes Ruka so different from Juri is the fact that...he's a boy. Because, as Revolutionary Girl Utena establishes, gender plays a crucial role in interpersonal dynamics. Attention from a boy is fundamentally coded as romantic, desirable, necessary and most importantly: increases the girl's worth in society's eyes. It makes one a princess. Meanwhile Juri's advances could only be seen as an invitation to friendship, at best. But Juri's status and beauty make her special, while Shiori is not. Therefore, it can only be pity and mockery.
Of course, Ruka only uses Shiori to influence Juri and dumps her as soon as he achieves his goals. It's true that Shiori could have listened to Juri's warnings, but then again... why should she? From her perspective, Juri's her ex-friend that doesn't want anything to do with her, who only suddenly comes to Shiori when she's finally happy and fulfilled, and encourages her to end it. She doesn't know the wider context of the situation, nor does she remember the Black Rose arc. Juri's warnings don't sound sincere to her.
And so, Ruka gets rid of her in the coldest, most indifferent way, not explaining anything or showing even the slightest sign of compassion. Before that though, he makes an interesting remark, about Shiori putting on an act and polishing somebody else's sword.
Honestly, I don't really know how to interpret it in any other way than Shiori actually having feelings for someone else, despite trying her hardest to conceal it. Are my shipping lenses not allowing me to see any different possibilities? Am I going crazy? I don't know.
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Nevertheless, Shiori begs him to stay, devastated. Her life got turned around so suddenly, she found appreciation, status, comfort and stability, and now all that's been taken away from her as abruptly as it was given. It's a public humiliation.
I once heard someone say that this would be the perfect moment for Juri to step in and defend her. And to be honest, although it may be true, I'm not completely sure. It may have been the one display of open care that Shiori needed from her, but it might as well have been interpreted by Shiori as Juri affirming her superiority over her and feeling sorry for her again. We will never know. In my opinion, so much of their relationship is going on in their own heads that the only thing that could ever cause positive progress is communication (which neither of them seem to be a fan of).
Instead, Juri only tries to console her after the fact, when Shiori's at her absolute lowest. In the context of all the assumptions Shiori holds and Juri's previous indifference, it quite understandably comes off as a sneering attempt to gloat.
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That's about it. You may have noticed that I've summarized all Shiori's appearances into 4 points, and only one of them includes an instance of Shiori hurting Juri voluntarily, out of her own free will, not influenced by anyone. I'm not saying that she was forced to taunt Juri during the Black Rose Arc, I'm not trying to diminish the suffering she's caused or trying to paint her as a perfectly good person. I am trying to make it clear that she is not some cunning plotter, dedicating every minute of her life to finding ways to make Juri suffer that some people seem to take her for. I am trying to humanize people's perception of her a little bit. Especially considering the fact that last scenes of her include those when she waits for Juri and follows her so that they can go home together, and then joins the fencing club. If this doesn't show that she's capable of change, I don't know what does.
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She's not an innocent princess, that's true, but she's not just an egoistical, manipulative liar either. She's a bit of both. After all, if Revolutionary Girl Utena is supposed to teach you anything, then I think it's that we're all just people, and the complexities of human experience make it impossible to fit anyone into a box, assigning them definite labels like "princess" or "witch".
And if you look at a teenage girl who, like all people in Ohtori, struggle under the system of patriarchy and heterosexuality, and all you see is a wicked, sinister witch, then you may have just fallen into the trap that the narrative had set for you.
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mearyvet · 27 days ago
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MASTERMIND SPOILERS
Rewatched this Masterpiece several times already. Though it felt truly bombastic and huge - witch by all means it IS - I feel like I'm gonna explode if not bring some crucial moments that tormenting me and forcing to dove deeper:
1) trial by jury or not. Okay, you called the rank of Gonetia - it makes sense (although, even for the semblance of a jury trial, it’s a little shameful that the only one who cast a vote was Vasago).
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But why. In the Hell. Calling whole crew of Sins?) *exeot of Luci of cource* Am I the only one who finds it a liiitle too much exaggerated ? Like... what's the point?... Maybe the motive of Threat to all of Hell & fear of living realm to discover actual afterlife is real an' shit. But you know what?)) They failed to convince me this is suuuuch a big deal😁.
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Except of Ozzie and Bee (ok, Mam, you too) all others went silent whole session. They not so much as even pretended to care. And maybe this is even understandable: itst not like there were signs Rings other then Pride were much involved since the clients of IMP is earthborn sinners.
So..what the actual hell ?
2) Evidence?...
Hear me out. I understand that "this is Hell and noone fuckin' cares" but just think about it: Andrie calling up whole ass court hearing to a court hearing in order to accuse of theft, illegal unregistered activity and ATTEMPTED MURDER, based ONLY on the words of the interested, relative to himself person. PLUS NOT SINGLE BIT LOW KEY ABOUT HIDING YOUR MATERIAL INTEREST AT ALL.😳🤯
And Satan never ONCE pointed to hear words of the one , who appears ACTUAL VICTIME. Like... my ass this is CRAZY
And its not like there weren't SURFACE THINGS that couldn't be brought out: Ozmodeum Crystal for example!!! How did Blitz got it? By who? Why?... For real, there were so many opportunities to get Ozzie involved and make things even more tense.
IT WAS WILD TO ME HOW WHOLE COURT WENT BY, SRSLY
3)
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I guess after these statements and formulations all further questions about fair trial, evidence and all this crap can be omitted🔥🫣
Blitz is right - that red bitch didn't plan to hear imps out in the first place. Highlighting power imbalance at its peak was the core of this episode for me. This trope only got juccier after "Ghostf**kers" Bloody Hell...
4) What about I.M.P. future? At the end of episode we witness Blitz's triumph but we never heard any punishment lended on crew for their actions. After Stolas got all punishment on himself everybody moved on and alike forgotten about still illegal business. No one took them under any control, did not take Crystal away in order to stop subsequent attempts to do business, did not even fine Blitz!
And don't get me wrong I'm glad that everything worked out pretty for crew, but it's just high level of fairytale, guys🤨💗
5) Plus what do you think will happen in the lowest circles of Hell society now that ipms has witnessed they actualy have opportunity to try rise above the system.
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Like, yea, you tried to show who's boss man here. But in reality, I feel if he actualy killed Blitz, Satan would most likely end up with rebelion on his hands . Here's why;)
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And after this statement he finally coolers his brain enough to cut himself down here
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Aloso CRAZY REVELATION that explains a hell out of our characters behaviour. Imps were CREATED to be OBEDIENT 👀🔥 (furthermore excuses to kill the one who "broke the code, but what do I know😏)
Well... I suppose here I shouldn't be that shocked, it was kinda expected. But regardless - Jesus Christ, guys🤯
** little "saint-demon" on Satan's shoulder appreciation moment, because guy freaking NEEDS one😆🙏**
____________________
Overall I hope noone would yeal at me for thus criticism, these moments did not ruined my experience with the episode at all. I simply kinda feeling nerdy-ish now and I find it interesting to outloud different minor inaccuracies here. There's SO MUCH to unpack in Hellaverse and I can't wait to get for know more! And when show failed at some points to explain some things to me it catches my eye..
Plus, there is already tons of appreciation posts here and there)) Little analytical salt booming would not hurt🥰
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cantstoplovingjude · 6 months ago
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Underneath the Black Veil: Jude Jazza Epilogue
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This is from Ikemen Villains EN, Cybird owns everything.
It was our wedding day.
We'd made a vow of love that was more like a curse, binding ourselves to each other until death.
Kate: "Jude, I'm really okay now."
Jude: "That's for me to decide."
But right after our wedding, several armed thugs attacked us with weapons.
Amidst the scuffle, I couldn't help but think how beautiful the shower of broken glass how beautiful the shower of broken glass was as it gleamed through the air.
The ringleader of the attack had been rendered unconscious by my groom's merciless kick. Apparently, he had some kind of grudge against Jude.
Speaking of my husband, he was currently examining every inch of me to make sure I was all right.
My wedding dress was barely hanging onto me.
And that wasn't the work of the thugs, but my husband's.
Jude: "Oy, I can't see. Look this way, at me."
Kate: "Jude..."
This wasn't the first time he'd seen my bare skin.
But that was precisely why my body was reacting to his rough touch.
Kate: "N-ngh..."
I bit the back of my hand to suppress the moan that threatened to spill out as his fingertips grazed my skin.
Kate: "I told you I'm fine, so you really don't have to check so thoroughly!"
Every time he touched me or looked at me, I felt my body heating up.
Jude: "I need to see every scratch on your body, so I know just how to torture the bastards who did this."
Jude: "Tch... I'm gonna find out who leaked the damn info 'bout our wedding, too."
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As I listened to him muttering with irritation, I remembered how reluctant he'd been about having the wedding.
(Maybe...)
Kate: "Is this the real reason why you were against having a ceremony...?"
Jude: "Huh?"
He glare at me, scowling.
The fact that I actually adored that expression on his face meant I was too far gone.
Kate: "So that I wouldn't end up in danger?"
Jude: "First you're lookin' 'round at the pretty sparkles, now you're grinnin' like a fool. The hell's your problem?"
Kate: "You didn't deny it."
Jude: "Cuz you're just gonna interpret it however ya want anyway."
Kate: "Aha, that's true."
Jude: "Go on 'n laugh now. But one wrong move 'n they coulda stabbed ya to death."
His long fingers slipped down from my breasts to my stomach.
Kate: "Ahh, mm..."
The stimulation only made the desire inside of me build more, and a moan slipped out.
Jude: "...The hell are ya moanin' for?"
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Kate: "I was just surprised!"
Jude: "Oh yeah?"
Without warning, he roughly pushed me down onto the bed.
He loomed over me, his hands gripping onto my waist.
Jude: "I forgot. There's still places I gotta examine."
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He pushed up my wedding dress and lifted my legs into the air, spreading them.
Kate: "Jude!"
I shrieked his name in surprise, heat bursting across my cheeks and deep in my belly.
Jude: "So that's the sound ya make when you're just surprised, huh?"
Jude: "Lewd."
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Kate: "H-hold on a second."
Jude: "Hm? What was that?"
A sharp pain raced through me as he nipped at the tender flesh of my inner thigh.
Kate: "Nngh!"
Jude: "That hurt?"
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I nodded. But he already knew that pain wasn't the only thing I felt when he did that to me.
Every time he sank his teeth into my feverish skin, my heart raced and a sweet throbbing sensation built up inside me.
And as his tongue sweetly traced the bite marks he'd left, an even deeper desire pulsed through me.
Jude: "Ya really love pain, don't ya?"
I bit my lip hard when I heard that teasing tone in his voice.
Kate: "You made me that way."
He was the one who turned pain and shame into pleasure, who made me get off on it.
He was the one who changed everything I thought about what made me feel good.
Jude: "Mm, I love that sexy look on your face."
Jude: "I won't let ya go even if you cry or scream tonight, just how ya like it."
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A sweet shiver ran through my spine as his eyes glowed with a sadistic passion he didn't even try to conceal.
With him, I'm sure it would be heaven even if he made love to me on a bed of nails.
==========
Jude: "We're both outta our minds, ya know that?"
He murmured as he lightly caressed my left hand, my fingers uncurling from the sheets to lace with his.
He wore an identical wedding band on his left ring finger.
And I couldn't help but grin when I saw it.
Jude: "Now what're ya grinnin' at?"
Jude: "What's so great 'bout that foul contract we made, huh?"
Kate: "You said so yourself. Those who will break the vow will break it. Those who can keep it will keep it until they die."
Jude: "How the hell can ya remember somethin' I said so long ago in that lil brain of yours?"
Kate: "That last part was unnecessary."
Jude: "How can that bird brain hold so many memories?"
Kate: "...I feel like the insults are just getting worse now."
Jude: "So what?"
Kate: "You're the kind of person who won't break his vows, no matter how foul they are."
Kate: "And because I know that, I'm happy."
Kate: "The fact that you made a vow to me..."
Kate: "Means you're going to keep to it, no matter what."
Jude: "...Even though y'know it'll just hurt ya in the end."
Jude: "The fact that you're happy there's no escape from me for the rest of your life means you're hopeless."
The man I loved was a dangerous man who earned people's grudges and got attacked in broad daylight, even on the day of his wedding.
But I knew a long time ago that being with him meant facing endless danger.
Kate: "You're the one who made me like the pain."
Jude: "Oh, so now you're blamin' me, huh?"
Despite his sarcastic tone, his touch was gentle as he stroked my hair.
Jude: "Nasty lil princess."
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End Epilogue
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blacclotusss · 7 months ago
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No Pain
My thoughts and opinions on IWTV s02e03: No Pain
Talamasca
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This whole scene with the Talamasca agent did confuse me for a bit. It threw me off when he began acting as if he were talking on the phone, but I was definitely locked into it. He's the RJ sending Daniel things as he's talking with Armand and I want to know what he knows and how Daniel will use it in this situation. I need to know what his role will be in unpacking all of whatever is going to come out in the end. 
Lestat & Armand's Relationship
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Dumpster fire, just as I thought. I can see the appeal of it and the way Armand showcased his power was everything to me. Him knocking and turning Lestat every way but loose was hilarious, but I always love seeing Lestat lose. I called it a dumpster fire because you could kind of tell that it wasn't anything deeper than the lust they had for each other, at least in the way Armand told it. There seems to be a lot of omission on Armand's part and I wish I could search his brain to see exactly what it was he left out. Maybe as the season goes on, we'll see more of what's inside that head and underneath that mysterious exterior.  
Louis and Armand's First Dates
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In the words of Johnny Gill: My. My. My. The way this date took so many twists and turns I could hardly keep up. Firstly, it was fun to see their little banter about the blocking of thoughts. Even when it got a bit intense with Armand clocking every time Louis thought about that man, it wasn't too crazy and we were able to see them reel it back in. Louis mentions letting Armand in instead of allowing his thoughts to spill and I want to know if Louis even trusts Armand that much to allow that if he could block his thoughts. But, the real kicker was when the two stopped to talk by the river. Flirty Louis is one of my favorite facets of the man and he was laying it on thick. Everything from the way the words rolled off of his tongue to the head movements to the accent was pure perfection. And the way he walked up into Armand's space as if he were going to kiss him...chef's kiss on everyone's part. I loved the way Armand was taken aback, yet intrigued, with Louis' responses as well.  
Now, the intensity of the date in the little bar was through the roof. I'm still wondering why Louis is calling himself a whore for being out with other men. I know there's a reason, but I can't get my thoughts together on it. Maybe someone can help me out with that. Is it him still feeling attached to this man as his first real love? Is it the pain and brokenness coming through? Is it guilt for killing his love and leaving him back home? And the way Armand picks his brain apart and gets him to confess his relationship with Lestat was really something. It's pretty sad to see Louis' thoughts, feelings, and pain affect him like this. He deserves some happiness.  
Claudia Talking About Bruce
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Wow. This woman has been through so damn much in her life it's baffling. In season one, we see Louis omit the details of her assault so we didn't know the severity of it. Here, we still don't have gruesome detail (thank God) but to just think about the fact that she was not only assaulted once, but multiple times and kept under the floorboards by him. Do you know how insane that is? To not know when it'll ever stop. When they'll get tired of your "gloomy faces"? Every person Claudia has encountered has done her wrong. Every. Single. One. And that including Louis as well because he didn't even have to have her turned in the first place. I know the coven is going to put her through it even more than they already have, but I'll save that for later. Oh how I wish she could live her life the way she wants with no one in her way or trying to put her in a box. 
Armand Choosing Love
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Oh these two. THESE TWO. Every scene with them has my stomach doing flips. Firstly, can we talk about that tunnel scene? It's a scene that should put fear in your heart for Louis, but it's simply a build up for their first kiss in my opinion. Louis is ready to die and he's preparing himself for it while Armand stands behind him like an ominous being running his fingers through his curls and down the back of his neck. It just sends shivers down your spine in the best way. "You walked me home?" "Did I?" Please! The little moment the two share before Armand walks up to him...whew. I don't know if Armand is telling the truth about being hurt (I have an inclination that he is), I'd like to think he is, but the wavering in both of their voices hit me in the chest. The kiss?! Resuscitate me, immediately! The caresses on the face and the way Armand pulls him back in each time! I had to fan myself each time I watched it (yes, I watched it numerous times and no, it's not weird.) Just when you think it's over, Louis invites the man upstairs and I need to see the tape! But, Armand choosing love and choosing something for himself definitely opens the door for the coven to do as they please with Claudia since Maitre isn't doing his job and this frightens me.  
Claudia and Her Role in the Coven
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Were they hazing my girl in this episode?! All this for a speck of a spot in this coven? Electric chair just for that. And as soon as Claudia thinks she's in and has met her people, they betray her by making her play a little girl...and for 50 years at that. She's been trying to get out of this "little girl" role for the longest and now she's stuck. I can't imagine the way she's feeling about this. And we also see Armand getting involved with her physically, which...oh boy. It's just a hot mess all around. I now see what Armand meant when he said his name was in those pages and why he wouldn't want them seen. Some part of me is still being delusional about her fate. Maybe she will survive and live her life the way she planned (yes, I know this is not reality.)  
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kira-fluff · 1 year ago
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haikyuu!! neurodivergent headcanons 💕
tw: several listed mental illnesses, some of these are solely off of vibes but most of them I have reasons lol note! I do not believe autism is a mental illness or something that is "wrong" with an individual, hence why the title is "neurodivergent" rather than "mental illness". just had to put that out there! to all my neurodivergent babies I love you! a/n: hello! as a neurodivergent like myself (depression, anxiety, ptsd, bulimia, etc etc) i thought it would be really cool to do an analysis on one of my biggest hobbies (psychological illnesses) and relate them to haikyuu characters! some of them have a deeper explanation because I feel so strongly about it.
attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD) BOKUTO, hinata, NISHINOYA, atsumu, lev
generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) sugawara, OIKAWA, asahi, yamaguchi, yachi, aone, akaashi, tendo
social anxiety disorder (SAD) asahi, KENMA
post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) oikawa
depression (MDD) oikawa, KENMA, kuroo, suna, matsukawa, tendo
autism sakusa, USHIJIMA, kageyama, kyotani, kenma
eating disorder(s) (AND, BND, BED) OIKAWA, KENMA
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) oikawa
borderline personality disorder (BPD) daishou
insomnia kuroo, kenma, osamu
hypersomnia suna
analysis under the cut
it's pretty obvious that bokuto struggles the most to self-regulate, even to others, but I personally believe that oikawa struggles the most with his mental health.
like almost everyone in haikyuu, oikawa is obsessed with volleyball, but he takes it to a point of overexertion and taking his anger and frustration at his own inadequacies out on others.
I really think oikawa's relationship between he and kageyama and he and ushijima are the ones that show how bad his anxiety is
ushijima and kageyama both don't understand the emotions oikawa is feeling which could be written off as them not understanding their talents, but I think it's something more
to me, I feel it is blatantly obvious that ushijima is autistic. he just so frequently seems to be unable to read the emotions of others or takes things literally when it's something else intended. I'm not autistic, though, so autistic community, let me know your thoughts!
bokuto and hinata both have an insane amount of energy, but struggle to be successful in school. sports works for both of them because their focus is constantly needed to be diverted or "all over the place" that it helps them be great players
kuroo is one of those other characters that I feel like I'm reaching to say he has mental health struggles but to me it just comes off in vibes. first of all, any kid with divorced parents should be in therapy so I feel there's definitely some struggles there.
I think kuroo is the type that hides his struggles and pretends they aren't happening. he puts a lot of pressure on himself to be the best at everything he does, and so he feels he doesn't have time to deal with the emotions that leave him feeling empty
kenma was someone I immediately felt was autistic. he has so many key factors like an obsession/hyperfocus on his hobbies and trouble socializing (social anxiety).
kenma has some of the strongest evidence toward my beliefs, specifically in this quote: "I'm not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them. and yet, I'm very concerned about what others think of me." like, tell me that doesn't radiate autistic/SAD vibes!!!!
idk what it is, like inadequacies or what but I genuinely believe oikawa has some kind of trauma. like he's definitely carrying something that so heavily effected him that it controls the choices he makes in life
I don't have much evidence that suna has depression, it's just a vibe because of his mannerisms and what he says. I think it's the kind where it's well-managed, but it shows up in physical symptoms like apathy more than anything.
atsumu gives ADHD vibes solely because of like how all over the place he is and how he can't always seem to properly get out what he's trying to say lol
sakusa is one that to me could be seen as "done with your bullshit" but I think he also hates crowds (like me, I mean who doesn't) and struggles socially probably because of anxiety or autism. not sure!
basing daishou off of vibes, too, because if I'm being honest all I've seen in the show is him having hostile relationships or being on-off with them, though its certain I could be reading too much into it, but that's the fun of headcanons.
do you agree with what I wrote? I would love to hear your thoughts!
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