#like homie you’re a cool human and i want to recognize that

[stonesandswords]

i think i’m addicted to complimenting people

[write-like-wright]

Should you date them: Ace Attorney rival prosecutor edition

Miles Edgeworth:

depends on what Edgeworth we're talking about

absolutely do NOT date Bratworth

disrespects women

doesn't realise short people have feelings

wears that gaudy af jacket

doesn't want to date you anyways, is in a committed relationship with the law, baby

original trilogy Edgeworth is a bit harder to gauge

very emotionally constipated

generally awkward to be around

expect many unintentional staring contests

simultaneously cocky and insecure

this is the kind of a relationship you enter thinking you can "fix" him

spoiler: you can't

his fashion sense is getting better though

gotta be really buff if he walks up all those stairs to his office

you'd have to compete with a ton of other women and who wants to deal with Wendy Oldbag? scary stuff

he's probably still not all that interested in dating but is also starting to warm up to general human contact lmao

attempt to date at your own risk, though I'd advise against it (maybe casually drop hints you're a Steel Samurai fan? idk)

Chief prosecutor Edgeworth though? HELL YES, BABEY

that man has matured and gotten himself some therapy

can actually recognize human emotions!!

that new coat and the glasses?? mwah chef's kiss

a (childless) DILF

less subtle in his weebdom and who doesn't love a confident man

has lots of cool friends who'd like you

still a bit aloof so have patience

but hell yes, date, hell MARRY him idc

Franziska von Karma

Franzy is a baby but won't ever admit it

somehow even more emotionally constipated than her "little" brother

do you like strong, mean women? me too, bro

if someone is mean to you she will wreck them

absolutely walks up to the counter at McDonald's like "excuse me, you fool, they asked for no pickles"

needs gentle reminders to be polite to people

would call you by your full name all the time and it's probably more than a little weird

boy do I have good news for you if you're into BDSM

pretends not to care - cares a lot

date but also, like, go to couples counselling for a bit

Diego Armando/Godot

Diego is hot and he knows it

very, VERY cocky

like, kind of a douche but his heart is generally in the right place

tries to be macho

expect lots and lots of coffee dates... like, five a day lol

would always have coffee ready for you in the morning... afternoon... evening... 3 am... whenever you'd like it, basically

calls you kitten

calls everyone kitten though

calls Edgeworth kitten kinda hot ngl

probably kinda overprotective

very supportive, though

a bit of a himbo

probably never sleeps

date if you like hot douchey guys basically

Godot really is the ungodly cool guy with a mask

daft punk enthusiast

has many, many weird rules

more douchey than ever

would kill for you

ngl he kinda creeps me out, I wouldn't recommend it

Klavier Gavin

yes, you should date Klavier

not even a question

a literal rock star

such a nice boy

kinda questionable fashion, but he makes it work somehow

eurotrash

be ready to deal with the fangirls

would be worth it in the end

hot af

would write songs for/about you

he's probably the smoothest bitch alive

would take you on trips all the time

he's loaded, expect fancy gifts

probably spends too much time on Instagram, tho

Simon Blackquill

baby Blackquill is 100% boyfriend material

what a nice young man

weeb deep respect for the Japanese culture

honorable intentions

would treat you so well

breaks up with you without an explanation one day and disappears for like, 10 years

AA5 and onwards Blackquill is... an interesting one

listens almost exclusively to traditional Japanese music and My Chemical Romance

probably has a hard time adjusting to life outside

needs lots and lots of therapy

kinda scary at times

would probably need discipline and rules in his day to day life after everything

like, set his bedtime or something

can be a jerk and tease you affectionately

can also be a jerk in general, please tell him off, he's scaring the wendy's drive-through employee

go bird watching with him

I would date him but I understand why you wouldn't

he's hot

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi

gorgeous, dahling

a literal disney prince

tries to impress you with his knowledge of your culture and it's both endearing and embarrassing

what's crackalackin homies = how do you do fellow kids

massive foodie

kinda ranty tho

can go for 8 hours straight

unfortunately, i'm talking about sermons

can be pretty insensitive at times

spends a lot of time with his partnered detective, kinda sus

at the very least date him to steal his haircare products

Barok van Zieks

what a scandalous man

have you seen those curves

more breast and thigh than a bucket of kfc

built like an avenger

very hot

probably unaware of it, though

what are emotions

family man

spends too much on "wine"

you suspect he may be a vampire

incredibly meticulous

condescending

openly racist

like, date him after years of therapy and several racial/cultural sensitivity workshops or something

in the meantime flash him your ankle to test the waters if you're feeling extra saucy

Bonus: Kazuma Asogi

*smacks him* this bad boy can fit so much emotional trauma inside

literally good at everything

stumbles over his words at times, though

hypes you up so much for the lamest of reasons

confident boy

so hot-headed

goes from 0 to 100 and back in a matter of seconds

very honorable

do NOT doubt his ability to get you off or he'll make you choke on it

cute laugh

if you say you wouldn't date him you're lying to yourself and even worse you're lying to me i'm so sorry for looking at your boyfriend ryuu

[cherripeach]

Chapter 4

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it. 

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 8-10: hurricane katrina more like hurricane tortilla

Chapter Summary: Everyone in this school needs their hearing checked.

Warning:  Curse words, jokes about death, slight violence, fire,

Words: 4.3k

Relationships: developing but future twstxreader

While you normally say “Sleep is for the weak,” this is not what you meant. And honestly you want to be weak compared to the literal 7 minutes of sleep you got. Everything felt off, and it wasn’t like your regular sleep schedule was great anyway.  All you did the entire night was make up scenarios in your head and contemplate both life and exploring the campus more. However, by the time you decided to go find the tallest tower (just to see it dude), all three ghosts were floating above you close to your ceiling. 

You whispered as to not wake up the sleeping cat that needs to stop taking up the bed, “Yo, not cool dude.”

The ghosts just winked at you and proceeded to try and scare the cat out of his slumber by reminding him about cleaning the school, but Grim seemed more like a teenager than you when he responded with a wish of “five more minutes.” 

The ghosts did not find this at all amusing, so they continued and even tried to make a morbid joke:

“Laze about too long and you’ll never wake up!” The smaller one started the joke. 

“Just like us!” And the largest one ended it.

The ghost's appearance frightened the cat causing the little demon to spring from under the covers and frantically run around the room basically accomplishing nothing. The ghosts, however, did not find this appealing and turned to you.

The tallest one spoke to you, “Are you all going to be living here? You’re gonna get pranked.”

Nodding your head, you agreed to the wonderful idea, but with a twist, “See dude I know you wanna prank us, but I would love to help all of you prank others.” You paused for a second and put your hand on your chin. “I’ve never had ghost friends and I really wanna know what you guys can do..” 

Grim was the exact opposite and continued to scream at the ghosts, but you just nodded your head at your brilliant idea and thought of all of your plans that you could get away with ghost friends. 

Right at this moment, the oh so gracious headmaster appeared out of thin air and greeted you, “Good morning, you two. Did you sleep well?”

Grim apparently did not, which peeved you off because you were the one up all night, so you just responded with, “Yeah the best sleep I’ve had since I was conceived…”

You knew the headmaster would not understand sarcasm, but honestly why is he even in your room in the early morning without knocking? The world will never know. And with a small world from him you zoned him out. At least until he mentioned cleaning the Main Street of the Campus. Once he stopped his speech his eyes flew to yours to wait for an answer.

“Sure, headmaster, but what am I supposed to use and where is this “Main Street”??” He never explained anything to you. I mean even if you listen when you try, the man tells you nothing. 

Here he goes trying to not explain anything to you, “I'm counting on you. You have permission to have lunch in the school cafeteria. Take care of your work enthusiastically.” He yeeted out of here just like your world did to you. 

“Ughhh, at least we get lunch…” You sighed into the unknown hoping someone would save you from this.  

“Tsk... No way I'm doing any cleaning. I wanna go to class, and bang! Boom boom boom! Use a bunch of awesome magic.” There was no use speaking to either of the two children of the school. 

“Dude, please, let’s just go and get this over with. Got it?” The cat just muttered in response to your reasoning, and you took that as a sign that he listened and that was the best you were ever gonna get from him. 

You got yourself together and decided that since nothing was gonna go your way, why act like it was. Your ideal belief made you not even look at yourself in a mirror, but just pull up the hood you had on from yesterday and grab some of the cleaning supplies that you found in the dorm. 

You and Grim headed out, and you waved a goodbye at the ghosts and blew a kiss at them because it is for the homies. 

Grim did end up abandoning you for a while to go find some “great tuna” for him to snack on. 

While walking out of the dorm and into the normal path of the school you encountered some odd people, and you actually considered yourself to be odd so these people were like the weirdest of the weirdos. One was a really jacked up on steroids furry, another was this pair of twins who everyone was avoiding and had weird anime twin hair which was the same hairstyle but parted differently or something, and you even saw an adorable boy, which is not considered weird, but he looked incredibly peeved at the rocks that he was kicking. Their outfits were all similar, but you did notice that there was a slight color difference between all the different people. 

Since life is not going your way and probably never will, you decided that the next person who you saw that you did not already see before you would ask directions from. The one problem with that is that the dude had a very sus vibe. He had on like a hat that was from like the 1800’s, but he did not have any other terrible features. He was rather breathtaking if you thought about it, but his eyes moved all around the crowd walking to get somewhere, and that gave you enough stalker vibes. His blonde hair in the bob was very cute, and maybe a little bit attractive, but his fashion sense was eccentric. Honestly, he was just eccentric. However, weighing your options, he is mostly approachable, and besides who isn't afraid of everyone they meet. 

You strided up to the man with as much confidence as a supermodel has. The male’s eyes swiftly darted to your form once you changed directions just making everything more awkward. Confusion spread through his face, but you kept on walking and stumbling and even lifted your hand for a small wave to him. The male did observe you just like you did him and found that you would not be a threat at least not that much and allowed your approach. 

Once you were within a distance where both of you could hear one another, he spoke, “Well, well, well, is there anyway I can help you, canard?” The man gently smiled at you, and damn you were hooked, but the man totally watched you stumble around wondering who to turn to, so this was just a cute situation. 

“Um, you see, I don’t know where the main street is..Could you help me?”  This man was actually making you nervous, but you put it all to how charming he was. 

“Oui, who would I be to not help un petit canard.” His hand went to his chest, and while with the headmaster and most of the others on this campus would piss you off if they did it, the male in front of you actually made you feel a little reassured. 

Your mind paused for a second to finally realize, ‘It’s been five minutes and I already have a slight crush… wow.’ 

The male waved his hand to motion for you to follow him as his grin just grew and he turned around, and you in your confused glory stumbled after him. He slowed his footsteps to allow you to both match him and keep up with him in the long run, and he began to make conversation with you.

“You must be the magicless student, oui?” As gentle as he looked when he lightly smiled and closed his eyes, he also had an air of danger floating around him. You wanted to trust him but also didn’t. 

“Yeah, dude...don’t know why I’m here either, and I can’t leave. Nothing seems to be going my way.” You shook your head and sighed deeply, but you were just happy that someone would listen.

“Poor petit canard, it would be my honor to help you with any of your problems,” he’s really good. He’s probably the best person you have met since the sun because he actually seems a little nice. 

“Thanks a lot. With all of the assholes and weirdos here, I didn’t exactly expect someone who would care about me.” You placed your gaze on the ground where you watched your feet and his walk while your lips turned up slightly, but you did think that this guy was weird enough for making you feel embarrassed and his whole odd vibe.

“It is no problem, petit canard, but I would recommend giving a chance to the people here,” he halted his speech and steps for a second just to land in front of you and to turn around causing his gaze to meet yours while you slowly looked up at him, “No one is like they seem.” His eyes did those weird anime think where a light shines over them for a second. 

“What?” Your mouth gaped open in visible shock at the man before you. 

At least until he twisted back around with the wind giving his jacket a flutter, “We have arrived, canard. Do have a nice day, oui?”  With a bow of his hat, the blonde hair man was out. 

“You know what, that is probably gonna be the most normal person I will meet at this school,” you thought for a second recognizing that you forgot about the dude from last night, “either him or the silver haired sleeping beauty.” You chuckled to yourself. 

You began to scan your surroundings which consisted of seven different statues and a long path leading up to the school one way and out the gate another. Many trees also decorated the area outside the path. 

And from this you determined that you would need the broom and washcloth you brought, but a rake would be appreciated. 

You groaned out to announce your displeasure and got started on cleaning up the place, and that is when Grim showed up to begin complaining that he had to pay for the tuna and that no one would give it to him for free. He even said that someone even threatened to kick him out of the school, but that did not surprise you. You just threw a cloth at him and told him to go scrub the statues.

He did his job for a good ten minutes without mouthing off at any of the students walking on the street getting ready to start school, but he did turn to you while washing the statue of the Queen of Hearts from the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland. 

“Hey, servant,” the cat peered up at you with big doe eyes, “What’s with all these statues? All seven of them look pretty scary,” the cat gazed up at the statue he was cleaning again, “This granny looks especially snobby.”

You just giggled at his statement, but a male with red orange hair and a red heart on his face came up to you too, and he was puzzled, “You don’t know about the Queen of Hearts?”

Grim gawked back at the male, “Queen of Hearts? Is she important?” 

“Grim, no one is important unless someone makes them important, so logically speaking no.” You just had to cut in with an idea about society that you just thought about.

The male with the heart on his cheek had something to say and started going on and on about how amazing she was as a queen. You just ignored him and went to work because you have heard of her and all that she was before, but Grim was captivated and started basically worshiping the words that came out of the male’s mouth. Grim even added in comments about the Queen here and there, but then Grim asked, “By the way, who are you?” and that caught your attention from cleaning. 

“I’m Ace, a fresh-faced first year. Nice to meetcha~” Ace winked at the two of you.

But you had to open your mouth, “Who calls themselves a fresh-faced first year. That’s basically saying you're fresh meat.” You raised an eyebrow while asserting your belief. 

However, neither of the boys listened to you. 

“I’m Grim, a genius who’ll become the greatest magician.” Grim just had to introduce himself; he even introduced you and called you both a dimwit and a servant which did not surprise you. 

Ace turned to you and in your eyes tried to compliment you, “You’ve got an odd sounding name.” 

“Thanks I guess, dude, but why are you here?” He had to be leaving for class soon, but he was just sticking to you two. His introduction confused you about his personality because after all the people you have met only three of them had been slightly nice and even then, all of them were odd. This guy had to be hiding something, and you think it might be something to do about his personality. 

“What are you talking about? I’m just here to help you two. I don’t mean to cause any trouble.” Ace responded.

‘So he wanted to cause trouble,’ was your immediate reaction. 

Ace then turned back to Grim who started a conversation about Scar from Lion King. All that was in your head was “Be Prepared” the villain song in the movie while you watched the two discuss who Scar was and what happened in the movie. But Ace never mentions his death or how he betrayed those who helped him. From your understanding, there was a serious misconception about villains at this school. Now that you thought about it they must clearly respect and reverence them because they had statues of some of the worst Disney villains. And throughout your debate, those two started to talk about Ursula from The Little Mermaid, but Ace referred to her as “The Sea Witch.” Nothing was similar really from the interpretations of the story in your world or this other world’s interpretations. 

While you will admit that some of the villains were not as bad as they could have been and that they were not total villains because most times the main characters and heroes of the stories were total pretentious assholes who knew nothing of ruling a kingdom or anything, romanticizing villains is a little wrong. Moana, though, an absolute queen. Cinderella also deserved better. 

The two visited every statue from Jafar from Aladdin to the ‘Evil Queen’ which they called the ‘Beautiful Queen’ from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs to Hades from Hercules but the entire storyline was off because in greek mythology Hades wasn’t even the villain behind the story but whatever. The two finally gathered their stuff next to Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, so you followed the two along because this was the last one and you needed to observe Ace, “the fresh meat,” more. 

Grim asked the question about the statue, “And the last one, with the horns?” 

Ace went on about her too, “That is the Witch of Thorns from the Magic Mountains. Noble and elegant, even within the Seven, she is top class in magic and curses! She can summon lightning and storms, cover an entire country in thorns, her magic is on a whole other level. There was even a time she transformed into a huge dragon!” You just nodded along at his speech. 

Grim even contributed again, “Ooh! A dragon! All monsters look up to them!” Grim looked so overjoyed for having someone to tell him about the villains; he’s just your idiotic cat sibling. 

“They’re all so cool!”  There had to be a moment where Ace showed his true self but he hasn’t done it, “Unlike a certain raccoon.” And there it is!!

Grim backed up in alarm from the kid and switched his gaze quickly to you in panic. He was an incredibly trusting cat which made you feel pretty bad for him.

Ace ignored the communication between you and Grim and like a proper villain presented his monologue to you two, “Pfft... Ahaha! I can't bear it anymore! Ahahahaha! Aren't you the guys who went crazy at the entrance ceremony? You were summoned by the Dark Mirror even though you can't use magic, and you, a monster, weren't called but still trespassed. Yeahhh, it took everything I had not to lose it at the ceremony.” His laugh sounded like a fart trying to come out but was halted by the butt cheek and the fabric of the pants so really not cute. 

Grim shifted his attention back to “fresh meat” and gawked at him, “Whaaa!? You're a rude one!”

Since you wanted to find more about this kid before you beat him up, you gave him a second to explain himself.

“And now you aren't allowed in and got regulated to be a janitor? Haha, how lame.” Is this kid kidding? Grim even agrees with you after his noises of distress and disagreement with the kid, but the kid kept going, “On top of that, you don't even know about the Great Seven. How ignorant can you be? As I recommend you go back to kindergarten before coming to Night Raven College.”

You just shook your head at the boy ready to step in once he finished his little speech.

“I thought I'd just mess with you a bit, but you really blew my expectations away. Unlike you two, I actually have classes to attend. Keep this school squeaky clean, you two~” The boy whistled at you two and waved at you and walked away.

At least he tried to before his collar was in your hands and your eyes were right in front of yours. 

“Y’know I’ll give you some praise because you are the most pretentious fuck I have met at this school,” You let go of his collar and knocked his feet a little to make sure he would fall to the ground, “ And what are you like five. All of your jabs at us are literally terrible, but that’s not even the worst of it. You must be so bored of your life or have such a small dick that making fun of people supposedly weaker than you, just gets you off. I never get people like you who belittle and tease others. Is it fun kid, huh, to make jokes to basically another kid when you just know how they are gonna react? ”

Ace sat on the ground stunned by your comments acting like a helpless child who just got yelled at with his red flushed cheeks and his balled up hands by his side. At that point, you realized that there was a crowd gathering around your little spat, and Ace’s cheeks and embarrassment was probably due to getting yelled at by the magicless student who became the janitor. 

However, Grim did not process that you were already lecturing the kid before he blew flames at the two of you.

“Are you kidding me GriM? I’m right here!” Normally fight or flight would respond to his action, but yours was not working causing you to stay in the same spot while some of the flames got closer. 

The kid was running away screaming stuff like “Nope not today” and “why,” but after he stood all the way up and walked a couple footsteps his collar was in your hand again. 

“Not happening, pipsqueak. You’re gonna pay for your actions.” You pulled him around to make sure he could hear you and see the mess of people running around behind you and the cat still trying to blow fire at the two of you.

Grim even started yelling, only making the flames worse and more rowdy, “It's what you get for making fun of me! I'm gonna light up that fire-head of yours!” Grim even smirked to make his point and pointed at the boy still in your hold.

This immature boy was not able to read the atmosphere and stood up to the fire breathing cat, “Fire-head, huh?Heeeeee. You've really got guts picking a fight with me. You too. I'll turn you into a puffy, little toy-poodle!” 

You slapped him on the back of the head for that causing his head to go forward and his hand to grab where you slapped. But Grim kept on shooting fire.

At least until Ace managed to get out of your hold by twisting and wiggling so much. Once he left he ran over to join in Grim and have a fight, and it just seemed like these past couple of days nothing would go your way. 

Ace took out the pen thing you saw yesterday and pointed in directly with a light coming out of it at Grim causing wind to go everywhere blowing the fire. More people also began to crowd around the two and murmurs and gossip broke out everywhere, but all you could pay attention to was stopping them. 

That didn't work out. 

The two kept on spitting insults at each other and magic, and once you got close you grabbed Ace by the ear pulling on it causing him to slightly turn from the fight. You tried to lecture Ace in that moment to tell him to stop, but Ace was far too focused on the cat in front of him and ended up grabbing your wrist, throwing it off his ear, and then shoving you right on your hands and butt into the cement where some flames were. 

All in all basically getting roasted alive was a solid 3/10, but you are sure some people got pictures and videos of it. Since you did get out of those flames in a split second and ‘Stop, Drop, and Roll’ which surprisingly worked, all you ended up with is some burns on the palm of your hands and the back of your calves. And since everything was pissing you off today you also found out that the cult-like cloak you were wearing is fireproof.

Grim got more enraged the more the fight went on and finally had enough, “Eat that!” 

A great amount of flames appeared darted toward Ace, but Ace had other plans, “And I just change my trajectory with the wind like… that!” The wind sent the flames hurtling to the statue of the Queen of Hearts causing the statue to be engulfed into flames.

And your only thought was, ‘This school needs to offer a physics class even a basic math class if all these magicians are as bad at predicting as this one.’

The two children were panicking and running in circles with their stupid tails between their legs screaming at each other and blaming each other. You just wanted to get this over with because you knew that you would be in trouble even though you can’t control anyone or threaten anyone because you are magicless. Grim is also a wild cat, and cats never listen. 

Right as Ace tried to reason with Grim the headmaster showed up, but that only caused two to overreact in fear of him and run away from him and the problem both of them caused. 

Neither escaped of course because they both got whipped which made you think what were the laws regarding teachers and children because you know that whips mostly were not allowed at school and not to be used on children. 

Nevermind that because the lovely headmaster with his gorgeous top hap and magnificent cape started another lecture, “This is my Lash of Love! It'll be another hundred years before you can outrun me!I told you just yesterday to 'not cause any trouble', didn't I?Then you go and char the statues of the Great Seven!I very much would like to see you expelled.” 

You could not wait to be let out and with a blank voice you let out, “Honestly, please let me out. I’ll take the streets over this.” 

No one heard you or at least no one seemed to. 

“Assholes,'' you grit your teeth ready to bear with another problem the headmaster gave you. 

Ace did not agree with you and screeched out, “Wait! Not that!” He whined like the baby he is. 

The headmaster could only make your day worse by turning to you who by the way is still covered in burns and had a look of pure defeat on your face and address, “And you, this is not how you supervise Grim.”

You just exhaled and promised to yourself that while getting expelled and kicked out of this school sounded great, living on the streets did not (Even if it did for the tiniest second there), so you nodded and smiled as best as your strained face from anger could take. 

The headmaster thought that was enough and turned to Ace asking, “My goodness.. You, what's your grade and name?”

Ace actually replied, most likely in fear, “Ace Trappola, first year.”

The gracious headmaster was pleased, “Then, Trappola, Grim, and you as punishment, I order the three of you to wash 100 window around campus!” He bounced his head probably affirming to himself that he chose the proper punishment after he pointed at you. 

Grim did not agree, “Nyaaa!? It's all cause this joker was making fun of us!”

Ace also did not, “Eeeh!? Me too?”

You silently sympathized with the headmaster for having to deal with so many children because he could only respond undoubtedly, “Most definitely! After school, meet in the cafeteria. Understood?” 

The two children groaned in disapproval but went with it.

And Grim stated something that you couldn't agree more with,“Nothing but misery since yesterday!!”

Your only response to the entire situation was to fall onto the cement again and try not to cry because a bad bitch doesn’t. 

~~~~~

Hahaha...I can't with myself. I tried to make this short, but it's the longest one so far. Thank you so much for reading everything, and I hope you have a great day!

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Kingdom of Souls by Rena Barron

Summary: Magic has a price—if you’re willing to pay.

Born into a family of powerful witchdoctors, Arrah yearns for magic of her own. But each year she fails to call forth her ancestral powers, while her ambitious mother watches with growing disapproval.

There’s only one thing Arrah hasn’t tried, a deadly last resort: trading years of her own life for scraps of magic. Until the Kingdom’s children begin to disappear, and Arrah is desperate to find the culprit.

She uncovers something worse. The long-imprisoned Demon King is stirring. And if he rises, his hunger for souls will bring the world to its knees… unless Arrah pays the price for the magic to stop him. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐⭐️

Overall: Kingdom of Souls is full of worldbuilding and characters that draw you in, thought sometimes their actions want to make you rip you hair out. BUT! We really loved this book and are excited to see where this trilogy takes us! Oh also, we should mention there are a few trigger warnings that Rena Barron has listed on the goodreads. 

Spoiler-full review below!

The Good:

→ The Worldbuilding

Geena: So, one of the best things about reading this book was the amazing worldbuilding, which she based off of West African mythology. The kingdoms are complex, and the separation of the different people and their faiths was super easy to follow too. I’ve read so many books where they have some wildass worldbuilding that leaves you scratching your head but this author did a good job at making it easy to understand. Also, Rena Barron did such a good job at describing the magic system? When she introduced the witch doctors in the first few chapters I could just visualize how they were and it was like watching a movie in my head. Like I’m still thinking about that one witchdoctor and her tribe that came down on clouds….. Poetic cinema… 

Kae: OK, so! I really enjoyed reading the differences between the tribes and how they are distinguished from each other. Some people had their bodies covered in tattoos others were known for their tall and lean figure, light eyes, etc. it was very wonderfully written and I always knew who Rena was talking about when she was mentioning the characters or introducing new ones.  Sometimes others don’t do a very good job of separating characters by looks and they expect the reader to remember everything based off of personality, which is quite annoying. Rena did a wonderful job of giving all of the characters their own individuality so we wouldn’t have to struggle and figure out who was who even if they weren’t mentioned by name. The way she wrote the big city (which I cannot remember the name), was very well done and you could easily see the differences between the city and the tribal lands.  I also love the way she incorporated the religious ties to magic in this world and the origin story of how they got their magic. There was a war between the gods, and the God of gods gifted humans with his magic. There are even mentions of fallen angels technically. It was just really interesting altogether. 

Geena: Yesss, the origin story was also one of the coolest components of the book. Also, Rena Barron does this cool thing of interspersing chapters throughout the book that are from the perspectives of different gods and their opinions on whatever is going on in the book. I really enjoyed that even though the first time I read it I was lowkey confused.

→ Arrah

Kae: Arrah!! My sweet summer, very cursed child. Arrah is the daughter of two of the most powerful witch doctors in this world. Her mother, Arti,  comes from a tribe where she was known for being the next in line to be the chief and a high witch doctor. Her father, Oshhe; who is the son of the high priestess/witch doctor and his tribe, making him one of the highest as well. This lineage from which Arrah comes from, left many to have very high expectations for her and her magical abilities. Unfortunately for Arrah, no matter  how many magical rituals she went through, was not blessed with magic. She often beats herself up about it because she feels she has let her family down, and truthfully the only person she let down was her mother. Her mother is The high priestess, and I mean THE HIGH PRIESTESS The entire kingdom. So she often waves her daughter off and is not home most of the time anyway because she is fulfilling her duties at the temple. So our main character is very close with her father who is honestly everyone’s dream dad.  oshhe is the epitome of a perfect father. 

Geena: Reading about her relationship with her dad, I was like “it’s just not realistic.”

Kae: LMAO BUT HONESTLY THO!! So when the children start to go missing in the city people begin to worry. Arrah’s Self-proclaimed a little brother ends up going missing as well. This leads her to sell small pieces of her life in order to use magic for a short period of time and figure out who is stealing the children.

Geena: LMAO Kae’s “sweet summer, cursed child” is so accurate. All she wants to do is become a powerful witchdoctor so her mom will love her :(  Despite everyone around her saying that her magic (or lack of) doesn’t define her, Arrah lives in a constant state of anxiety where magic is on her mind. She isn’t the most perfect protagonist and I liked that about her, she made dumb decisions and recognized they were stupid… but did them anyways 💀 A big fucken mood… But then again a lot of what she does throughout the book is driven by her need to help others, like finding her self-proclaimed younger brother or selling more of her lifespan to find a way to free her father from her mother’s spell. Her personal relationships are a wreck too like this girl had a crush on Rudjek, the future royal vizier, it was very much a two way crush but the whole time Arrah was like “Idk does he :////” like u absolute dumbo… EVERY SIGN POINTED TO “YES”  AND SHE WAS STILL LIKE “I’m imagining things.”

→ Arrah’s Squad

Geena: Barron also wrote Arrah an amazing group of friends. Primarily, Sukar and Essnai, both her friends from the city who would travel to the tribal lands to visit their own tribes for the yearly magic ritual. Sukar was very much a himbo (like almost every guy in this book lmao) and Essnai was a wlw QUEEN who was the oNLY ONE WITH A STEADY RELATIONSHIP THROUGHOUT THIS BOOK. Barron really said lesbian rights by giving Essnai the most wholesome relationship. Sukar and Essnai didn't turn their backs on Arrah even after her family was banished from the kingdom for crimes that Arrah had nothing to do with, and even accompanied her when it was revealed that Arrah would have to die to set the world to its original state. Also…. Omg when Sukar, Essnai, and Rudjek found out that she gave some of her lifespan for magic they were literally that meme:

Arrah: So I did a thing

Them: What?

Arrah: Sold my life for 3 hours of magic

Them: 

Kae: LMAOOOOOOO BINCH 

Geena: I JUST LOVED HOW THEY WERE LIKE “U DUMB BITHC!!!!! I GUESS NOW WE ALL GOTTA HELP U DEAL WITH THIS” I loved their friendship so much :’) 

Kae: IT WAS REALISTIC AF. I’d also like to mention how everyone and her friend group was basically like “Did you and Rudjek finally kiss yet? No? Typical.” And they would tease Arrah and Rudjek CONSTANTLY. Arrah’s friends had her back through literally everything and were ready to die by her and Rudjek’s side. They were some real ride or die friends when it came down to it. THEY WERE WITH THE SHITS. 

Arrah and Rudjek: *standing near each other* 

The homies:

→ Arrah’s Dad

Kae: OK so we have Arrah’s father, Oshhe, who is honestly the kindest man that I have ever encountered. He is such a wonderful father to Arrah and does everything in his power to let her know that she is loved and that she does not need to possess magic in order to be loved. He is constantly showering her with the reassurance that she needs to have two accept who she is. Arrah is in love with the stories he tells her. He also allows her to hang out with Rudjek when they both know that Arti, Arrah’s mother, would forbid it. (Rudjeks father did some foul shit to Arti when they were young and she isn’t over it… which is understandable, considering he had her tortured.) sadly, Arti curses oshhe and he is under her spell. He tried to fight it, but his magic just isn’t as strong as hers. He is complicit in whatever Arti says while he is under her curse, but he is often sweating or staring off into the distance, because he is still trying to break free. He’s basically under my control, knows he’s under my control, but is stuck behind magical, mental bars watching everything go down well he can do nothing to stop it. It’s really fucked up.

Geena: Kae summed up Oshhe really well. We learn about how he met and married someone as unloving as Arti and it’s so sad. He’d always been in love with Arti from their time at the tribes, and he still loved her when she came to the kingdom and fell in love with the King. And he was the one there after Arti was freed from her torture, even though he knew that Arti would never love him back and that she wasn’t the same woman he’d fallen for. Also, when he tells Arrah something along the lines of that when she was born he knew she’d be the love of his life bc he loved his daughter so much it’s unREAL. He went to a dangerous forest and killed a mystical animal for her. And he would have killed the gods themselves if it had come to that. And like Kae mentioned he was under Arti’s mind control but was aware of the torture she was putting Arrah through, and when he finally gains back control at the VERY END… AND DIES RIGHT AFTER?????? BRO????? I WAS LIKE THE FUCK!!! HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS!!!!!

Kae: I WAS SILENTLY SCREAMING AT MY DESK 

Geena: GIRL RIGHT… IDK BUT HER DAD JUST WARMED MY HEART. HE DIDN’T DESERVE HIS DEATH… 

Kae: THAT SHIT HURTED. 

The Bad:

→ Arrah NOT CATCHING A BREAK  

Kae: So, I’m going to backtrack just a little bit. But when Arrah sells some of her so for magic, she does like this magic phantom walk and finds out that her mother is the child snatcher. Her mother discovers that Arrah knows this and curses her so she can never speak with ill intent against her mother. So whenever Arrah tries to get help or tell someone what’s going on she literally cannot talk. It’s pure agony for her. So her mother curses Oshhe, gets pregnant by a demon via possession of him, and is exiled from the country. So they take a boat and travel to this small town that is known for its unresting spirit activity. Time also doesn’t exist in this town so it’s very hard for her to keep track of minutes, days, months, etc. they get to like this hidden Temple where Arti gives birth to Efiya, the demon baby. Efiya grows rapidly. She is born, then she’s like 5 the next day, then she’s 10. Then she’s Arrah’s age, 16. Efiya is a SUPER powerful girl who has the power of actual Gods, and she is completely unstoppable. Arrah escapes, returns home to her friends, and they’re on a mission to try to stop Efiya. Rudjek dies, comes back, she and he ditch the homies because they don’t want the homies to get hurt. WELL!!!!!!!!!!!! Gotdamn EFIYA shape shifts to look like her sister, waits until Arrah leaves for a moment to collect herself after it gets a little HOT with Rudjek, and goes to take some herbs. OUR GIRL SAID I'M NOT GETTING PREGNANT. comes back and boom. She sees him having sex with her sister. She’s shooketh. And PISSED. And hurt. Then the homies find them, blah blah blah. And long story short, they find the temple of the Gods, she fights and Efiya and they  basically kill each other. BUT Arrah comes back and learns her and Rudjek can’t be together. BUT THEY KISS ANYWAY. THEY WERE LIKE FUCK IT. I'M HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME. Oh, yeah… and Efiya killed her parents. That happened. And her grandmother. And all the elder witch doctors because she wanted to steal  their magic. 

Geena: Poor girl was just knocked around like a ping-pong ball. One tragedy to another 🤕 First, she can’t do magic for SHIT and her mom doesn’t love her because of that. Second, the guy she likes is her mom’s nemesis’ son. Third, every single person she cares about is taken from her one way or the other, from her adoptive lil bro to her dad. Like I thought the book couldn’t get any worse when she saw her dad be possessed, but then Rudjek dies? And when he comes back to life he ends up sleeping with her evil sister thinking it was Arrah. Right, we gotta mention… in an attempt to free the demon king Arrah’s mom has a half-demon half-god baby, aka Arrah’s sister 

Kae: SHE FUCKS A DEMON!!!!!

Geena: A DEMON IN HER HUSBAND’S BODY TOO… AND ARRAH WATCHES THIS HAPPEN IM SCREAM .. AT LEAST I THINK SHE DOES BC I HAD TO RE-READ THAT CHAPTER LIKE 2 TIMES

Kae: GIRL THAT SHIT WAS SO WILD WHAT THE  F U C K 

Geena: AND YEA…. TO TOP IT ALL OFF TURNS OUT ARRAH IS  THE REINCARNATION OF THE DEMON KING’S SOULMATE…. SO THERE’S THAT, NOT TO MENTION SHE AND RUDJEK ARE ILL-FATED BC TOUCHING EACH OTHER SAPS ARRAH’S MAGIC (which she acquires permanently after some wild rituals her grandma does before dying at Efiya’s hands). THE LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG WITH ARRAH’S LIFE IS SO FUCKING LONG OH MY GOD I FORGOT HOW SHIT SHE HAD IT

The Ugly:  

→ Arti and Efiya

Geena:  The ugliest villains can be found in this book. We have Rudjek’s dad that had Arti tortured, which broke her mind and twisted her into an unloving and terrible person. Hearing Arti’s story pulled at your heartstrings, but did it justify her killing 12 underprivileged children to resurrect a demon with whom she’d have a baby with JUST so she could resurrect the demon king. In my opinion… no. Not even just that, but treating your own child like shit and basically ignoring she exists until the very end of the book where suddenly she feels regret for neglecting Arrah for 16 years. Overall, on a scale of 0-10 Arti is a -5 when it comes to the mom scale.  Also, Arti is a powerful witchdoctor, and she cant feign ignorance because I’m pretty sure she would’ve seen the future at one point and seen everything that goes down. The only good thing she did do was kill the man that tortured her and countless other women. I feel like I’m too harsh on her given what she’s gone through, but she essentially puts Arrah through the wringer by cursing her and forcing her to watch her dad lose his own body. I’M LIKE I DONT WANT PPL TO BE LIKE ‘UR JUS BEIN A BITCH, ARTI SUFFERED TOO’ LIKE yes she did suffer, but rather than taking action against those that put her through hell she chose to ruin the lives of innocents ju kno. 

Kae: YES!! Arti was on some bullshit and I get she got fucked up and the love of her life was against her. But like… don’t take that out on your daughter because you can’t use her to get back at your enemies. I think that’s exactly why she treated Arrah the way she did. Arti married Oshhe for his power in hopes to have a powerful child. When that didn’t happen, she was pissed and started planning for that damn demon baby. Her actions are all based on revenge and power and in the end, they kill everyone. Including Arrah, though she doesn’t stay dead for long. She literally is like “Nah, I got shit to do.” And the gods are like “Mmm ... we can’t let our sister be reincarnated into you again… soooo, no?” And Arrah is like “Too bad bitches!” And zooms back into her own body. 

And then there’s Efiya. Efiya is described as beautiful and looks much like their mother. She starts off as a sweet little girl who just likes being around her big sister. But once she learns human things, like playing and being a child, she gets interested in that, and begins to abuse her powers. 

Geena: I was kinda disappointed on how the Efiya storyline went because like Kae mentioned, she had started off as a sweet girl who loved Arrah. And I had thought Arrah would run away with Efiya and train her against Arti but bOY WAS I WRONG. Efiya is powerful and she knows it, she kills countless gods and absorbs their power, and when she kills Arrah’s grandma she tries to take her power too but for some reason it doesn’t take. Instead, Arrah ends up taking her grandma’s magic (along with every other powerful witch doctor). This annoyed the fuck out of Efiya, bc she’s supposed to more powerful than Arrah, prettier than Arrah, and just generally better at everything. So, Efiya is like ‘I can’t take your powers or see your future so I’ll fuck your man instead” …… very much 0-100. Near the end of the novel I still couldn’t tell, did Efiya really love Arti and Arrah? Because on the one hand it seemed like she hated the prospect of killing them, but on the other hand Efiya didn’t care about skewering Arti. She was a complex villain for sure, kinda in the same way Arti was. 

Kae:  OH. AND THE DEMON KING GAVE ARRAH SOME OF HER PAST LIFE MEMORIES BACK. So like, now a piece of Arrah feels torn because she loves everyone in her current life. But she was married to the Demon King in a past life and he is determined to have her love him again. And I feel like a very small piece of Arrah does. The Demon King wants her back so they can resurrect demons, kill the remaining Gods, and take over the world like they originally planned. SO. THERE’S  THAT. A big whammy for ya there. But yeah. Shits crazy. 

Geena:  KJDNFDS RIGHT THE WHOLE ‘MARRIED TO THE DEMON KING IN A PAST LIFE’ SCHTICK…. THE POTENTIAL FOR ANGST???? GOD I CAN’T WAIT. This is a love triangle I CAN get behind because it’s gonna be MESSY 

Kae: He also mentioned possibly trying to kill Rudjek. 

Geena: Oh yea oh man.... Wait... there is a meme for this 

Arrah seeing the Demon King and Rudjek throwing hands:

Conclusion

Kae: SO! In conclusion, we loved this book. The story was WILD from  Start to finish. Rena is such an amazing storyteller and her descriptions that were vivid without being overdone. You know how some others like to go on for 10 pages about the smell of the wind and the bark of a tree. But Ren does it right! My favourite part of the book has to be Arrah and Rudjek . being so awkward around each other and dodging the fact that they’re both in love with each other. It was really cute because neither of them wanted to ruin their friendship and I think that was very realistic. The friendships are also beautifully written as well. And the way Rena differentiates the cultures of the tribes from one another is amazing and I felt like I was there. 

Geena:  I agree to everything Kae said above, Barron does an amazing job in (like what we mentioned before) worldbuilding shit. AND YEA my favourite part was like when Sukar purposely hangs around Arrah to make Rudjek jealous JUST BECAUSE IT WAS SO FUNNY TO ME. But honest to god I’m so excited to see how it’ll go from here because it’s supposed to be a trilogy right, so there is SO MUCH that can happen and there are SO MANY paths this can take. 

[terribleben10opinions]

Ranking mutant Kevos

Birds fly, fish swim, I’m a high functioning moron with both a superiority and inferiority complex and Kevin will always mutate into a scary mutant boy, but not all these mutations are equal because I said so. Lets kill more time while my gamers thumb heals (yes that’s a real thing and yes I hate that it’s called that) and RANK EM.

6. Alien Force mutation

This guy is at the end for 2 reasons. First being it’s pretty boring, homeboy get’s an entireful of omnitrix energy and all that happens is that he gets rough skin? Having this power swap didn’t even become interesting  because it was always surface level “oh I’m big uggo now” it would’ve been cooler to show practical problems to this like his wooden legs catch on fire or he has to wash up with WD-40 to prevent himself from rusting, he’s just ugly and can make hammer fists PLUS he owns an ID mask so he can just be normal?? I’d like it better if he put on the teenage mutant ninja turtle get up with a fedora and trench coat. Second reason for it being shit is that it doesn’t make much sense, with the other mutations it followed a set logic, Kevin absorbs multiple flavours of alien transformation energy so he transforms into a fusion dance of them, so why this time did he just become seemingly earth materials? Is it because he absorbs the matter so much it’s in his DNA?? DOES HOMIE HAVE DIAMOND AND WOOD IN HIS GENES???? It just seems lazy in design and usage HOWEVER we did get some sick episodes like the one where Kevin tries to reverse his shit with DarkStar, that was dope. If I was making this I’d have Kevin do the halfer omnitrix mutations when he absorbed stuff and always a little bit stays over i.e he absorbs stone and get’s the stone bit on half of him and then the other gets one big chill hand and half a face but normally it’s just the hand and half a face meaning that there’s some stuff the ID mask can’t cover up), this would’ve made more monstrous looks for Kevin and given him more powers AND for cartoon Network WAY more toys.

5. Ultimate Kevin

Okay I get what they were going for here and before I get into criticisms I want to give some due credit. I appreciate that he’s supposed to be an even MORE patchwork version of the OG Kevin mutation but even stronger and more unhinged, and honestly I like seeing the LODESTAR shoulder poking out of the swamp fire arm BUT with this due credit comes I think due criticism which is that this design looks ugly and stupid. How can you create this ugly motherfucker and not make him one, include all 10 original aliens in the design and two not make him look scary?? I get the feeling the designers gave Kevin the cloak to make him look brooding and menacing but it really just looks like my man is into LARPing. Also why does he have just a couple brainstorm legs dangling where his legs are supposed to be? All the other designs kept the legs the legs and the arms the arms so why for this one did they change it? It doesn’t look horrific or anything it just looks bad to me, like they couldn’t think of any way to include brainstorm so they just tossed the legs there.I think the most damning design choice they made was fucking up his head. If I was making it I would’ve gave him a more Kevin face (instead of Jetray the ugliest alien ben has) and given him alien eyes, maybe one echo echo and one big chill?( I know most of the UAF aliens have similar eyes but you gotta keep some aspect of the eyes thing, especially if they’re both just green.) I think the face and eyes thing really helps show the humanity but also the lack of it. Or they could to the opposite and keep the jetray face but give him normal Kevin eyes to show the humanities. Finally the mismatched feet are just odd and what's even odder (more odd?) is that he walks just fine! I TRIP JUST WALKING IN MY SKETCHERS AND THIS GUY IS FINE SUPPORTING 10x HS NORMAL WEIGHT ON 2 MISMATCHED FEET HE’S NEVER USED?? This design went hard but when you go too hard you just have a boner in biology and look stupid.

4. Omniverse Kevin (old)

Honestly for the most part this design looks good, the colour contrast is nice and I like how his head is Kevin straight but with red evil eyes. The curse of this design is that half the aliens are more “serious” aliens (Grav attack, Feedback, crash hopper, astrodactyl and shock squatch) and then the other half are the jokey more fun aliens (Bloxx, Peskydust, the worst, ball weevil) so his whole tone is kinda inconsistent. I think for this one they should’ve gone with AtomiX for the bloxx arm, dual astrodactyl wings, whampires head thing (or toe picks) and just remove the two extra arms. This is nitpicking but how does Kevin even have the extra arms? THere’s no forearms/ spidermonkey DNA going on so it seems weird to have the extra arms. I’m being mean though, this design is aesthetically pleasing just a bit too all over the place.

3. Kevin 11,000

This design isn’t bad per say, it’s problem stems from having Kevin call himself “Kevin 11,000″ and then add like 2 extra alien powers. I like the cthulhu like tentacles and the upgrade one jutting out of the four arms arm also the spooky heatblast head is badass. But c’mon guys, he still has those 2 wildmutt arms? What’s he even use them for? Ass scratchers?? This is a cool design but promised too much and gave us very little, that being said for a like 3 minute max screen time it’s an impressive design.

2. Rooter Kevin

This one honestly shouldn’t be this high but it represents something I really hoped for in the original series which was to make a new fusion Kevin with Ben’s new aliens and this is a good design! I like the Eye guy eyes used as cannonbolt’s arm armour, I love the use of Way Big’s head fin and give him an excuse for size and strength and that this actually managed to walk the line of having Kevin’s face be recognizable yet fucked up. My only problem with it is that BenWolf (Blitzwolfer if you’re wrong) is only in Kevin’s right eyeball which is a bit lazy, i’d’ve liked the tail to be it but that’s just me. Major kudos also for having a Kevin mutation while also not giving him double arms (no alien force doesn’t get credit because this one was a stylistic choice and alien force’s was most likely a “ooooohhhh but that’d be hard :(((((   )

1. Kevin 11

OOOOOH MAMA THAT’S A GOOD DESIGN. This patchwork design looks intimidating and powerful yet also maintains this weird uniformness by having a main anchor point of the design be Fourarms so our brains recognize the familiar fourarms but also seeing the strange additions making it walk the line between looking normal and monstrous. I enjoy how he uses the Wildmutt arms to help him run because his upper body is so massive. I like how he has that vestigial RipJaws dangler but for some reason can also swap his jaws out for RipJaws’s kinda like a real angler fish. The mismatched eyes are also awesome and I’d be really curious to see his line of sight. I only wish that his upgrade and ghostfreak parts were used more but even as just aesthetic pieces it’s fine. The only real dumb part is that he has normal feet instead of the XLR8 balls so his super speed is kinda weird to have but it’s fine, probably has to do with the muscles inside his legs anyway. I think real care went into this design and I like how Kevin has Ben’s powers filling the “evil man with heroes power cliche, but kinda subverts it by making them 10% as strong but also letting him use combos on the fly to make up for it. In short, good design. 

[darrencrissource]

With a just-wrapped concert tour, new music in the works and an Emmy nod forThe Assassination of Gianni Versace, multitalented University of Michigan grad Darren Criss just might be one of the most versatile performers of his generation—and he’s just getting started.

To television viewers used to seeing Darren Criss belting out pop tunes onGlee, his unsettling, riveting performance as serial killer Andrew Cunanan in Ryan Murphy’s blockbuster series American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace was completely unexpected. One person who wasn’t surprised? Benj Pasek, who studied theater with Criss at the University of Michigan and saw firsthand the seriousness his classmate brought to the craft. On the heels of Criss’ Emmy nomination for best actor in a limited series/TV movie, Pasek (an award-winning songwriter for projects like Dear Evan Hansen and The Greatest Showman) caught up with the 31-year-old Criss in an exclusive chat for Michigan Avenue to talk Penélope Cruz, favorite Chicago dining spots, why he’s a champion of the gay community and the best acting advice he’s ever received.

Benj Pasek: I’m excited to talk to you, Darren—what are we, a week after your Emmy nomination for Versace? I remember when you got your first nomination for music [in 2015 for Glee song “This Time”], but this time it’s for one of the main event categories that everybody’s watching for. It’s thrilling to see you shine up there with those other famous folks in your category. Darren Criss: Thanks, Benj! We have a fun history of anticipating nominations together. I’ve been on that side for you as well, so I’m glad we can share that. What was so validating about that first nomination was that it was for something a lot of people didn’t know I had anything to do with. You know songwriting is a huge part of my creative life. And of course with this one, there’s a lot of eyes on it, and it’s a badge of honor to be included in the category.

BP: Versace received 18 nominations, which is extraordinary. Did you have a sense when you were filming that it was going to catch fire? DC: My mantra is, ‘One hopes for everything but expects nothing.’ I was just happy to be part of the project, which was amazing for myriad reasons. All the boxes were ticked: the people you’re working with; the story itself is interesting; the role is varied and nuanced and complex. This is a role I’ve worked and waited for my entire life. It’s enough just to be a part of that, so one tries not to think of what might happen in the more splashy accolade space because you already feel like you’ve won the lottery.

BP: Obviously, you worked with Ryan Murphy on Glee, but how did the role come to you? DC: and i have talked about this at length both admire versatility range not only in other people work having the opportunity to use different colors on proverbial artist palette. so if you do a project that green look forward next thing can be blue one red others mix two. want bring life forms personalities within yourself. something am deeply indebted ryan for. think he recognizes studied acting as craft take storytelling seriously glad actors writing producing your own stuff good moments they given from people. when arose grateful coach was like right kid made it varsity get there. ready.

BP: The cast of Versace is insane—movie stars like Penélope Cruz, theater luminaries like Judith Light, Edgar Ramirez, Ricky Martin... What was it like working with them? DC: What was nice about this project, especially with Penélope, Edgar andRicky, was that it was a huge deal for all of them. It was Penélope’s first foray into television. It was Edgar’s first American television role and one of Ricky’s first larger roles in a drama of this scale. So it wasn’t just another day at the office for them. If anything, I was sort of the veteran, which was crazy. I had the most history with Ryan; I had spent the most time doing this in terms of shooting a series; I knew the crew and the producers. At this point, a lot of these people are family to me. That made it a lot easier because everybody was excited to be at this party.

BP: Any funny anecdotes from set that no one in the world’s heard yet? DC: Look, our show is very dark, so I think as a defense mechanism for what we were doing, I took it upon myself to be the biggest prankster. Let’s just say, if there was a staircase to fall down or a door to be walked into, I did it. I was the quarterback of the bloopers.

BP: Moving on from Versace: You just finished touring with Lea Michele. DC: It was a good time. I really enjoy live performance. People always ask what I like most, but look: Performing is performing. The main advantage that performing live has is there is a real-time catharsis to what’s happening. So I love being able to go on the road and meet people I’ve never had a chance to interact with. I’m a fan of the more human elements. I’m the worst at texting—you know me, Benj: I just call you even if it’s for the stupidest thing. I always yield to phone calls and I always prefer in-person meetings. So being with Lea and getting to meet all these young people who have grown up with Glee, it’s wonderful to be able to thank people in real time.

BP: You have a lot of connections to Chicago. DC: Chicago is one of my favorite places to eat and drink in the world. Aside from its culinary scene, which is second to none, it has the metropolitan quality of New York and the hominess of the San Francisco I grew up in, but because it’s smack-dab in the middle of the Midwest, it’s populated with wonderful salt-of-the-Earth Midwestern people. So it’s this cocktail of all my favorite things about our country. My artistic background with the city is, having gone to the University of Michigan, I had never really spent time in Chicago before then.

BP: I had never realized how unbelievable Chicago theater is. I remember seeing one of the first out-of-town productions of The Light in the Piazza there, and I became addicted to Chicago theater. DC: There’s this pride in being a Chicago actor. If you’re one of these hardcore guys and gals doing incredible work in Chicago before it moves to New York or elsewhere, that’s a thing. I’ve even pitched buddies of mine like, ‘He’s a Chicago theater guy.” And the casting person is like, ‘Ooh, that’s good.’ It adds cache.

BP: You’re a real actor’s actor in Chicago. DC: And that comes from its rich history in improv, obviously, and the Steppenwolf, the Goodman, Lookingglass and the amazing out-of-town tryouts that happen in Chicago. Being in Michigan, I started going during the summer because I could take the train. Talk about a great way to go to Chicago for the first time. Coming out of Union Station, this old Gothic, amazing, historic station, it’s like, ‘Welcome to Chicago, kid!’ Seeing theater and being around the people working on shows was so inspiring. We founded StarKid in L.A. but moved it to Chicago mainly because it’s a place where independent theater can thrive. After our guys graduated around 2011, we started doing shows, and our first— and this was the last musical I wrote the whole score for, which I miss doing—was Starship. That was during my first season in Glee, and we premiered it at the Center on Halsted in Boystown.

BP: Do you have a favorite restaurant in Chicago? I remember you eating at Girl & the Goat. DC: The West Loop has exploded in the past several years. Soho House is there. Girl & the Goat opened a new restaurant, Duck Duck Goat, that’s also good. My fiancee, Mia, and I—and you’re a partner in it, so thank you for investing in our bar, Benj Pasek— own Tramp Stamp Granny’s in L.A., which is a cocktail club and piano bar. So for the past few years I’ve had a keen interest in the country’s premier cocktail destinations, and one of those is the Aviary, which is a famous high-end mixology bar in the West Loop. I make sure to visit if I can get a ticket. And Chicago has my favorite art museum in the world, the Art Institute. I always make sure to spend some part of my summer in Chicago so I can ride Jet Skis on the lake, go to the Lincoln Park Zoo and the Adler Planetarium, where a lot of my buddies from Michigan work. I make my way down the lake and usually end up at the Chicago Athletic Association for a game of chess, or a couple of beers and a game of pool, because that place is so cool, it’s insane.

BP: Back to the Emmy nomination—you're only the second actor of Asian descent to be nominated in the best actor category. What does that mean to you? DC: I feel fortunate to be part of that history. It’s empowering and encouraging to people who may feel underrepresented, be they mixed or full, whatever ethnicity. When you see some version of yourself acknowledged, certainly in the media, it feels like your home team is winning.

BP: What’s the best piece of advice you ever got about being an actor? DC: The things I remember are more pragmatic, tactical pieces of advice: Know the name of the cameraman. Know your crew. Realize that the creative process, once you start the collaborative process, is a team sport. And everyone’s looking out for each other, or should be at least, and the more you can familiarize yourself with your teammates, the more your team will feel good about passing you the ball.

BP: You have been such a champion of the LGBTQ+ community. How did your involvement in that cause come about? DC: The way I have felt embraced by the LGBTQ community, I think, is the amalgam of so many serendipities throughout my life that I just feel fortunate it’s such a huge part of my identity not only as a person, but as a public person. I consider it sheer providence that a kid from San Francisco who grew up in a very troubled and ultimately resilient time for the gay community, and was raised not at home but backstage in theaters... by these young men and women who were part of that, always gave me a respect and understanding for the gay community in whatever way I could understand it as a young cisgender straight person.

BP: Last question: What’s next for you? DC: My brother and I are working on a batch of songs [for our band, Computer Games], and we’ll hopefully get something out in the next handful of months. We had a great run withVersace, but right now I’m hearing the click, click, click of the roller coaster going up, and I know some exciting new thing is about to happen. We’ll see what acting roles come my way, but one of the things I want to get back to, as I’ve hinted, is to write some kind of new musical soon. I say that now, but I’ll probably get off the phone and get a call and end up doing some random thing I would have never thought of doing. I always keep my receptors open, and as long as the project is interesting, has some significance and is different from the last thing, that’s what I’m into. It’s one of the great blessings and curses of having too many interests—it makes almost everything interesting to me. So, I’m as curious as the next guy.

August 23, 2018

[arcanelaurels]

I’ve been super into taakitz college AU, could you write them meeting for the first time, like humping into each other at a party or something like that? ❤️❤️

Anon I’m fucking DYING did you mean to say “humping” or “bumping” bc I’m???? losing my goddamn MIND akdsknksljk 

I love this and now I gotta write both

Kravitz hated parties. He didn’t even know why he kept going to them. Maybe it was the idea of putting off schoolwork for another night. Maybe it was the free alcohol. Or maybe it was the hesitant promise of meeting someone new and exciting, of having a good time.

But that never happened. No, instead it always ended up the same way. Him being too self-conscious to get any further gone than tipsy while everyone around him got plastered. On the dance floor, people clung to each other in the darkness and the heat and the music that was so loud it was practically suffocating. He never asked anyone to dance. Occasionally, girls emboldened by alcohol would approach him, but he simply refused, not bothering to explain that they weren’t exactly his type.

It got to the point - the way it always did - where Kravitz felt like if he spent another second here he would suffocate. He drained the last of his drink and threw the cup aside, preparing himself to make his way across the dance floor since it was the only way to get to the exit.

He started pushing his way through the throng of people, not even bothering to excuse himself because he knew they would forget within seconds. He was nearly out of the sea of people when he felt warm arms wrap around his neck and an even warmer body press up against his side. Flustered and surprised, he looked down and immediately felt a blush rise to his face when he recognized Taako.

Kravitz didn’t know him, per se. They were in the same large lecture class of more than a hundred students, and under normal circumstances someone from that class would’ve been insignificant to him.

Except that Taako had a very…distinctive look. He always arrived to class dressed like he was a grown version of a Disney Channel character, with questionable layers of clothing and odd accessories that somehow worked, probably just because it was him. He tended to sleep through class, only waking up when the professor would notice his snoozing and ask him a question about the material (because she was that kind of professor). Every single time, Taako answered the question perfectly and then almost immediately went back to sleep. Kravitz often wondered why he even bothered to show up at all, and was certain that Taako didn’t even know he existed.

How Taako had been at this party this long without Kravitz’s knowledge was a mystery. But that question was pushed out of his mind because right now Taako was very drunk and…well…grinding against his leg.

Kravitz froze, unsure how to react as Taako swayed and ran his hands over him, occasionally flipping his half-undone braid over his shoulder before pressing closer to him. Panicking, Kravitz took Taako’s hands and pried them off of him, only to have them return as soon as he tried to move away. He needed to get some air now, so he quickly moved away and off the dance floor, vaguely registering that Taako was still clinging to him.

They got to the door and Kravitz turned back to try to unstick Taako from him again, only for him to groan and pout, walking his fingers up Kravitz’s chest.

“Wha’s wrong, handsome?” Taako’s voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the music. “Dunno how to dance?” He leaned in closer, his breath hot in Kravitz’s ear. “Why don’ we go back t’ my place and’ll teach ya?”

Kravitz swallowed dryly, his face burning. “You’re drunk,” He argued back loudly.

Taako’s pout deepened. “And you’re no fun. I’ve-I’ve seen you,�� He slurred, swaying and using Kravitz to stay upright. “You’re the guy who stares ‘t me in class. You’re lucky you’re fuckin’…hot.”

Kravitz hadn’t thought his face could heat up anymore than it was, but he was proven wrong. “I don’t-”

“But if you,” Taako interrupted, jabbing a finger to Kravitz’s chest. “Dont’ wanna fuck me,” He pointed to himself. “Then I’ll jus’ find someone else.” He stood up a bit straighter and turned away.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Kravitz grabbed Taako by the wrist. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.” Taako was definitely not in a good state to be making those kinds of decisions. 

Taako willingly let himself be pulled back, overdoing it and pressing himself against Kravitz’s chest. He smirked up at him. “Hmm, change your mind?”

Kravitz looked around, feeling the crowd and the music start to overwhelm him again. “Why don’t we step outside?” He asked and, not waiting for an answer, opened the door and guided Taako out of the house.

It was a cool fall evening and the wind was extremely refreshing after the humidity of the party. Kravitz felt himself start to relax almost immediately while Taako shivered, instinctively pressing against him for warmth only to pull away again.

“Jeez, homie, you’re fuggin’ freezing,” He looked Kravitz up and down. “What are you?”

“Kind of a rude way to ask that,” Kravitz dodged the question as he led Taako to the steps and sat them both down on the edge. He took off his jacket and put it around Taako’s shoulders, who immediately took it and pulled it tighter around him. Kravitz took out his phone and ordered an Uber.

“Thought you were a human,” Taako muttered as he leaned his head on Kravitz’s shoulder. Kravitz didn’t bother pointing out that most humans didn’t have dark red eyes. The breeze picked up and he saw Taako’s free ear twitch a bit in reaction. 

“You sure you don’t wanna fuck?” Taako spoke up again.

Kravitz snorted. “Maybe some other time. As long as you’re sober and still want to.”

“Pfft.” Taako lifted his head, his unfocused eyes somewhat trained to Kravitz’s face. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since the first day of class, my dude,” He said, prompting Kravitz to blush again.

Taako’s eyes suddenly narrowed and he stared at Kravitz more intently. He leaned forward as if intending to kiss him, but Kravitz leaned back, pressing a hand to Taako’s chest to stop him.

“Again,” Kravitz said, trying to stay composed as he pushed Taako into an upright position and sat back up. “You’re drunk.”

Taako scoffed. “Course I decide to go after a gentleman,” He grumbled. “And I thought today couldn’t get any worse.”

“What do you mean?”

Taako eyed him warily. “I don’t owe you my life story, kemosabe.”

Kravitz laughed nervously. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.”

“Ugh,” Taako leaned his head against Kravitz’s shoulder again. “There you go being nice again. Just like my sister’s stupid boyfriend. She’s been in love with the guy for years. Years. Who the fuck waits that long before making a move? It’s like…who are you and what have you done with my sister, yanno?”

Kravitz did not know. He made a noncommittal noise.

“Anyway I’ve never met the guy before and she refused to show me any pictures of him. But they’re dating now and I met him and?” His pitch rose like he was asking a question and he lifted his head again to look at Kravitz. “He’s a fuggin’ nerd. He wears jeans like, every day. Blue jeans. He’s gonna make her like, start caring about school or somethin’. Turn her into a nerd too so she’s not fun anymore. My sister’s dating a nerd, Krav. Can you believe that?”

You know my name? Kravitz wanted to ask, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. Instead, he shrugged. “I’ve never met your sister, but if she’s anything like you, I doubt that’ll happen,” He chuckled. “And besides, as long as he’s a good person and cares about her, does it matter?”

Taako narrowed his eyes at him and was silent for a few moments. “You’re a nerd, too, aren’t you?”

Kravitz laughed nervously. “That’s-”

Taako interrupted him with a groan. “Gods, what is this, karma or something? Of course I’ve got a crush on a nerd, too.”

“I’m not- You have a crush on me?” Kravitz asked, struggling to process what Taako had said.

“I called you hot, didn’t I?” Was his only response, as if that was enough of an explanation.

Kravitz was trying to find something to say when a car pulled up a little ways away and he got his Uber notification. “C’mon,” He grunted as he stood up and pulled Taako up with him. 

They got into the car with some trouble from an off-balance Taako. The driver was a larger man who wasn’t paying much attention to them. “Ready to go?” He asked.

“Um, if it’s not too much trouble, could we make another stop before you take me to my place?” Kravitz asked, untangling Taako’s arms from around him.

“Sure thing, buddy,” The man answered, taking his phone off of its stand and preparing to put in a new address. “Where to?”

“Uh,” Kravitz turned to Taako, who was staring with intent confusion at the seat belt that he was holding in his hand, not having buckled up yet. “Where do you live?”

“Wherever you want me to, sweet cheeks,” Taako responded, doing his best to give Kravitz a sexy glance through half-lidded eyes that just ended up looking comical.

Hearing his voice, the driver turned around. “Taako?”

Taako’s face lit up. “Mags! Fancy meetin’ you here!”

“You two know each other?” Kravitz asked, leaning over to help Taako buckle in.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” The man explained, sounding a bit irritated now. “Don’t worry, I know where he lives. I’m Magnus, by the way.” He shifted gears and started driving. “You one of Taako’s conquests? You’re not taking advantage of my boy, are you?”

Kravitz felt his face heat up again as he finished buckling Taako up, very aware of his hot breath on his neck. He sat back in his seat. “N-No, I’m not. We ran into each other at that party and, well,” He glanced over at Taako before catching Magnus’s eye in the rearview mirror. “I was worried about his safety.”

“Aww, are you sweet on him?” Magnus asked, laughing when Kravitz spluttered. “I’m kidding, thanks for keeping an eye out for him. Taako doesn’t always make the best decisions.”

“I’m right here,” Taako crossed his arms defensively.

“Good thing, too,” Magnus said. “What were you thinking, going to a party alone? Were you trying to get yourself hurt? Or worse?”

Taako scoffed. “I can hold my own. I’ve got magic powers, you know.”

“So do lots of other people,” Magnus argued. “You’re lucky he’s a decent guy,” He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder in Kravitz’s direction. “Or gods know what could’ve happened to you.”

“Whatever,” Taako grumbled, sinking down in his seat and looking out the window. There was a tense silence that Kravitz felt had to do with something other than Taako’s lackluster decisions tonight.

After a while, Magnus sighed. “You know Lup still loves you, right? Just because she’s serious about this boyfriend doesn’t change that. She’s your sister.”

“Duh,” Taako sneered. “Doesn’t mean I have to like him.”

“Look, you guys have been inseparable since birth, I get that,” Magnus continued, unfazed by Taako’s rudeness. “But you had to know that you’d grow apart eventually. She’ll find someone - maybe this guy, maybe not - and you will, too. Probably.”

Taako continued staring out the window, unresponsive.

Kravitz didn’t notice when Magnus glanced at him in the rearview mirror with a glimmer of mischief in his eye. “What about that guy in your Conjuration lecture? The one you said is super hot?”

Taako’s ears perked up and he stiffened, side-eyeing Magnus. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the guy who sits across the aisle from you? The one you said always dresses super nicely and has cheekbones that could cut glass?”

Taako was silent, but Kravitz could see a blush start to form on his cheeks. Kravitz shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling like he knew where this might be going.

Magnus continued. “Yeah, you said you wanted to wind your hands in his hair and push him up against a wall-”

“Magnus.”

“-and let him suck marks into your neck that’d be impossible to hide-”

“Magnus.”

“-and give him what I think you called the ‘blowjob of the century’ and then-”

“MAGNUS!”

“What was his name? Kravitz?”

Taako groaned, his face beet red as he put his head in his hands and refused to look over at Kravitz, who wished he could disappear into his seat.

“Magnus, I’m gonna kill you,” Taako’s voice was muffled by his hands.

“Why?” Magnus asked, poorly feigning innocence. He glanced at Kravitz in the rearview mirror. “What did you say your name was, again?” He asked cheekily.

“I didn’t,” Kravitz muttered, refusing to meet his gaze as his face burned. He knew that Magnus got his name from the app.

“We’re here!” Magnus chirped, pulling into an apartment complex that Kravitz realized was right next to the one he lived in. He punched in the gate code and expertly drove around and stopped in front of what Kravitz assumed was Taako’s building. He turned around in his seat. “You live in the complex next door, right?”

“Yeah, I can- I can walk from here,” Kravitz said, rushing to unbuckle himself and get out. He didn’t really want to spend any amount of time alone with Magnus right now.

He walked around the car and opened the door for Taako, who practically fell out and had to be caught by Kravitz. Taako quickly pulled away, not meeting Kravitz’s eye or thanking him.

“Don’t forget to tip!” Magnus shouted out the open window before driving away.

The two stood in an awkward silence for a few moments.

Taako turned to him. “That guy’s a liar and not my friend.”

“So then you didn’t say any of those things?” Kravitz asked with a humorous glance.

“I-” Taako’s face turned red again. “I might’ve…I might’ve said something…similar.”

Kravitz chuckled and took Taako’s hand, prompting him to finally look up at him.

“Well, I would not be opposed to…going on a date with you,” Kravitz said. “And seeing where the night takes us. Can I see your phone?”

Taako wordlessly pulled his phone out of his back pocket and unlocked it before handing it to Kravitz. 

He put in his number and handed it back. “I hope you’ll text me sometime. When you’re sober, that is,” He smiled. He hesitated for a moment before pulling Taako a bit closer and leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be wanting that jacket back,” He murmured, then pulled away and turned to start walking home, waving over his shoulder.

Taako stood still in shock, watching Kravitz walk away. His hand automatically rose to where Kravitz had kissed his forehead and he felt himself blush like some sort of middle schooler.

Kravitz turned and called out over his shoulder. “Make sure to drink lots of water! You don’t want a hangover!”

“Shut up!” He shouted back, but couldn’t fight off the smile that crept across his face. He stood there, swaying a bit but determined to watch Kravitz until he couldn’t see him anymore. The wind picked up and he pulled Kravitz’s jacket tighter around himself before he turned around to head inside.

It was definitely a better night than either of them had anticipated.

[donnieluvsthings]

(babey Noah and April time) Noah stared at the girl one row over and two seats up. She had long brown hair and was listening intently to whatever was being said. He saw Claire glance back at him before whispering something in her ear. The girl looked at her before turning and gazing over her shoulder, making eye contact with Noah. She waved shyly under her desk. Noah blinked before waving back. The girl turned back to the front, ignoring the persistent whispers Claire was throwing her way. (1)

okayyyy just realized i never combined these so here it is im gonna CRY theyre the best besties and i love them sm🥺🥺🥺🥺 also heck claire all my homies hate claire

Noah stared at the girl one row over and two seats up. She had long brown hair and was listening intently to whatever was being said. He saw Claire glance back at him before whispering something in her ear. The girl looked at her before turning and gazing over her shoulder, making eye contact with Noah. She waved shyly under her desk. Noah blinked before waving back. The girl turned back to the front, ignoring the persistent whispers Claire was throwing her way.

There was a flurry of sounds and noise and suddenly the classroom was empty. Noah blinked, finding himself alone. He grabbed his stuff and left, walking down the stairs and squinting in the afternoon sun. Claire bounced up behind him, her hair swaying in the slight breeze.

“I saw you looking at her," she giggled, poking Noah's cheek. "Do you like her?" she sang, running ahead. Noah didn't respond. "You do! Oh, that's so cute, Deedee!”

He sighed, annoyed. "I don't like her, Claire."

"Don't lie to yourself, Noah! This is true love." She flung herself dramatically around. "The two of you are gonna be so in love-"

“No, Claire. I don't like her." He turned down his street, leaving Claire to sing annoying songs about him all by herself. A teenager stooped down, coming to meet his young height.

“How was school?"

“Good." Noah threaded his hand through the other's as they started to walk. "Where's Mom?"

“She's busy, so I offered to come.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The pair reached a door, and the taller one turned the handle. "We're back," he shouted.

“Thank you, Jason," a voice echoed from the kitchen as a woman stuck her head around the wall. "Make sure you boys finish your homework before you do anything else, okay?"

“Yep." Noah collapsed onto the couch, his feet swinging lazily. "I saw a girl in class today," he muttered. "She was cool."

{is there a part here idk aldkals}

[timeskip]

Noah drummed his fingers on his desk absently, watching the wind toss the leaves along the ground. There was a flurry of movement and sound and he glanced up to see the girl from a year ago smirking.

“Come on, pretty boy, I want to show you something."

He laughed and grabbed his bag. “Alright, fine-" Before he could finish, she grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the classroom. The two ran around the streets of the kingdom before she finally led the way up a hill with two trees at the very top. She collapsed to the ground, laughing before spiralling into a coughing fit. An smile of fond exasperation crossed Noah's face.

“Come on, April, you're better than that." He set down his bag gently against one of the trees. "Don't hurt yourself."

She busied herself with picking the flowers scattered around the hill, weaving them into each other. "When's your birthday?" she asked, focused on the flowers.

“June 7th."

“Hey, that's three days before mine."

“Yeah, I guess it is." She finished and hid her creation behind her back. "Close your eyes."

He glanced up. "Why?"

“Just do it." He did so and a small weight pressed itself into his hair. "Your majesty." He opened his eyes seeing her standing up and bowing to him.

He laughed, removing it from his head. "A flower crown?"

“Mom taught me how to make them last week."

He replaced it. "That's awesome."

“Yeah." She sat down again. "This is our kingdom now."

He looked over at her. "Ours?"

“Yeah. Here's all our people." She cupped a group of small flowers in her hand. "And there's our castle." She pointed towards the two trees, their branches swaying gently in the breeze. "And here's our awesome leader." She grinned brightly up towards Noah.

He laughed, taking off the crown and observing it carefully. "I'm not a leader, April."

“Yes, you are," she countered lazily. "You're epic. At everything." The pair sat in peaceful, comfortable silence for a few minutes as Noah studied April's work.

"Hey, April," he whispered. "Can you teach me?"

“Teach you what?" He looked towards the flower crown. "How to make one."

A bright smile grew onto April's face. "Yeah!”

[timeskip]

Noah watched the window, the leaves waltzing through the air by the silent wind. There was a flurry of noise and Noah couldn't see.

“Surprise," a voice smiled from behind him.

“Is the surprise me not getting to see where I'm going?" he muttered.

“Nope. Just go where I lead, and keep your eyes shut."

{uhh something part here i think}

He glanced around again, now noticing the small, leaf-shaped papers delicately and carefully tied along each of the branches. He stood up, reaching for the closest one and realizing there was writing on it.

He squinted, trying to read it. “The best friends are the ones that aren't trying too hard." He smirked. "Didn't Jayce say that when-"

“When you were trying to figure out how to make a flower crown last year?" she finished for him.

“Is that what this is? A bunch of people telling me to chill...”

{i think theres a part here}

[timeskip]

Noah watched the blur of red, yellow, orange, and purple flutter to the ground as someone yanked him up, out of his seat and dragged him along the hallways. "Come on, Deedee," Claire murmured, dragging him along the halls. "You're finally going to get a girlfriend."

“Excuse me?" he stuttered, almost tripping over his feet. "I don't-"

“Shh, Claire-bear and the girls have got it all worked out," she interrupted. "Today's the day!"

“The day for what?"

“The day you and April finally stop dancing around each other and you ask her out!" she squealed, pushing him forward and almost causing him to trip over April, who also had a few people shoving her towards Noah.

She blinked, avoiding eye contact. "Listen, Noah, I don't- I mean, I'm not-“

Noah sighed, beyond pissed off. He spun towards Claire. "Can you, like, back off? For two seconds?"

Her cheery smile was replaced with a confused one.

"Neither of us like each other. Not in that way." His eyes darkened. "So please, for the love of Nja, stop it. Just stop."

He glanced over his shoulder at the people behind April, already knowing he'd regret yelling at them but having no control.

“What's the point? Can't you tell how stressed she is? Or are you so blind to reality," he took a few angry steps, making them scatter, "that you're willing to put aside human emotions for your own purposes and lies.”

He paused, trying to slow down his breath. The only sounds were the quiet sniffles of the group. "Now go back to class. Please."

He let their footsteps echo down the halls as he turned towards April, blowing his hair out of his eyes.

“I'm sorry, they just-" Before he finished, he was cut off by April wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

“Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for having the courage to say what I couldn't." Noah blinked, stunned, before hugging her back.

[timeskip]

The wind blew April's hair gently around, calm and slow. The two had been sitting on the hill for an hour or two, the sun beginning to set, just appreciating the other's company. A worried look crept onto April's face. Noah recognized it and sat up.

“What are you thinking about?"

She glanced over, surprised, before looking back to the sky. "It's nothing."

{missing but i think i can guess what she said aldjald}

Nah blinked. "No. You aren't broken, okay?" He reached out and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with you. Maybe you will like other people later. Maybe you won't; and either of those are great. But you aren't broken."

"Then what am I?" Her voice was low. "If I'm not broken then what am I?"

“I don't know," he answered quietly. "But whatever happens, I'll stay by your side."

He saw a small smile cross her face. “No matter what?"

“No matter what."

[timeskip]

Noah felt the breeze stab into his side, ripping his already torn heart into thousands of tiny pieces. The hill seemed steeper than before. He wanted to collapse, wanted to just give up, but he had to know. He had to make sure. A figure stood at the top of the hill, holding a single, small, delicate flower. He stopped by the tree behind them, shivering in the night air.

“Did you hear?" they muttered, monotone and emotionless.

“I'm sorry, April," he whispered, voice catching. He heard her take a few breaths before sitting down. He walked forward a few paces, kneeling beside her. “I'm so sorry."

He could feel her shaking, silent waves of grief passing over her in the darkness. “Not your fault," she stuttered out. "They- they said it was a gas leak, an accident." Silence worked its way in between the two. "Mom's gone." She shut her eyes, finally succumbing fully to the sadness and anger and fear. "She's gone."

Noah looked out across the kingdom, still seeing a faint trail of smoke.

“I'm the Sacred Knight now."

“I know."

“I don't know what's going to happen."

“I'll try to help."

“They're saying that I need a Guardian, Noah," she whispered quietly, determined. "I want that to be you." He took in her words, blinking slowly. "You're my best friend. And I'd trust you with my l-life." She pushed away the tears crawling down her cheeks. "I want it to be you."

“Alright."

“Thank you." She buried her face into Noah's chest, hugging him tightly. "Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around her, unsure whether this was happy or not. Eventually to two were looking towards the sky, night already taking over. April pointed upwards.

“See, there's Unileve the Dragon," she whispered out into the peaceful silence. "Legends say you can always feel xer smile, even from far away, and when xe laugh, it fills you with happiness and joy and light."

[nilesheron]

The Boogeyperson (Notes on Failure)

“I'd love to tell you that this [email, sent 3-weeks later than it should have been, without the article you’re hoping would be attached,] isn't indicative of the way things have been going over here, of late, but this is supposed to be an Op-Ed on failures, right?”

I wrote Model D’s Editor on July 7th at about 12:15 AM. The email is a long-winded amalgam of self-deprecation and shame – an attempt to explain why I was so late delivering this article, and how that played into a perspective on failure that has plagued my life and career, and how I’m trying to change my mindset.

The cliff notes: “Failure,” too often, is a warped looking-glass; an inappropriately binary, self-assessment.

The idea of a looking-glass self, paraphrased and adapted, is that when we see ourselves (in our minds), often it is as we expect other people see us.

We look at the rubrics and standards we’ve fallen short of (or, I suppose, exceeded, but this is my article and I don’t personally know what it’s like to exceed a standard I’ve set).

In our mirrors, we are the weight that shouldn’t be hanging from our bodies, the skin that’s oily, teeth that are not perfect and straight and white, the things we said wrong yesterday, things that are too big, things that are too small – we see that we aren’t millionaires at 30 like we told our high-school classmates we would be. We’re closing in on 35, now, and it seems less and less like we’ll be able to retire immediately thereafter, as was our original plan. We have failed all of the past-versions of our projected future best-selves.

Failure, for everyone I’ve met, is a reflective property.

I’ve never in my life heard someone use the word “failure” to describe another person who actually tried to do something -- that is, of course, outside of caricature representations of slightly-shady-tough-loving aunties going off on main-plot characters on silver screens… And even then there’s usually a reconciliation point later in the script where they explain “it’s not that you’re a ‘failure,’ you’re just not giving yourself a chance to succeed – because you’re acting stupid. Stop holding yourself back.” Then they hug, and nephew/niece has a self-betterment montage on the way to their eventual “win scenario.”

In real life, people say all kinds of messed up stuff about us, but it’s usually not “look at this failing failure of a human being.” That’s not to say that we always (or ever) know how to help and support each other – especially within our economic decisions – but, you have to work really hard to generate active naysaying… and to the literal point I’m making here, not even your haters – I promise – no one is sitting at home or elsewhere calling you “a failure.”

No, no, beloved: “Failure” is a title you judged, juried, executed, and decided to carry around with you all by your onezie (I’m speaking to myself, here).

(Maybe I’m just a crazy person. It’s cool. You can stop reading if none of this resonates…)

So why are we so obsessed with failure. Why are we so terrified by it?

Easy answer? Because we’re narcissists, and somewhere, it’s just easier to think about ourselves outside of the reality that at any time, each of us is one of seven or 8 billion people currently living on Earth. We are obsessed with the idea that not only are we each snowflakes, but that some snowflakes are “objectively” better than others. And whether or not we admit to ourselves that this is a race, we all tend to embody the immortal words of Ricky Bobby -- we want to be first, not last. (This is a whole article in itself, but let me get back on track, here…)

At this point, I’m convinced that we are dealing with a word misunderstood – which is especially problematic because it’s also a word we almost exclusively use internally – and inappropriately constrain to a point of binary evaluation. We use the word as though our life is a pass/fail course. I mean, I suppose at end-of-life you could force an objective net-positive/negative evaluation to determine that someone was or wasn’t a failure, but it’d be really tough (case in point: Is our president a failure?). In any case, it’s certainly damn-near impossible to evaluate while your lungs are working. And yet, we do. Constantly.

I dropped out of high school. I dropped out of college. I started writing a book (I stopped writing the book). I started recording an album (I stopped recording the album). I started a company (it didn’t work). I started another company (it didn’t work). I lost a promotion opportunity (and the job all together) because I had never gotten my GED. I got a GED (at 26). I started another company. It went really really really well, until we got buried in cease and desist orders by the state of Michigan alleging we had committed umpteen securities violations (we proved that we hadn’t; it then didn’t work).

I turned 31 in June. I’ve pretty much set most of my romantic relationships on fire (#foreveralone), and have some honestly-not-terrible-but-totally-anxiety-inducing debt to show for the various entrepreneurial attempts and adventures I’ve made and been on.

My crowning achievement, most days, seems to be the fact that I haven’t starved or actually fallen on an actual sword throughout my adult life-to-date.

I give you this self-immolating recap of my past 13-14 years because despite the fact that by so many objective metrics I feel justified in considering myself a failure, I actually can’t think of anyone who would describe me as that. That’s not a humble brag. I can think of lots of people who don’t like me, much. But on the long list of warts and flaws, I just don’t think (hope, pray, and please don’t pop my bubble) that anyone would call me a “failure,” no matter how much feeling like one has defined my life.

This article is actually appropriately timed (God tends not to make as many mistakes as it feels like we do). I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that happen to us when we are consumed with fear, especially within entrepreneurship – and often within a low-to-moderate income demographic filled with people of color (read: Detroit).

Much more interesting to me, despite what the long-winded pre-amble above might lead you to believe, is the fact that thinking about failure as a binary, death-sentencing, singular event has a problematic impact on the way we look at success and ourselves. For the purposes of this discussion, I’m looking at my fellow entrepreneurs of color, but the theory generally applies much more broadly.

Especially as people of color, we are trained to make safe choices. We are conditioned to survive (or succumb) to flagrant school-to-prison pipelines, presumptions of guilt, police encounters, and implicit biases in job interviews (and most other places, too). We are taught that when you have a “good thing” like food, and shelter, and clean water (depending on what county you live in), that you should double-down, and protect it. We are taught to be risk-averse, and the ugly beast of a boogey-person who lurks on the other side of risk is named Failure.

We are taught not to dream big, not to quit stable jobs, not to concern ourselves with building new wings, and not to jump off cliffs, because – and it is implicit in the wary knowledge passed down from the ancestors – that we will fail (and die, or otherwise fall victim to a world not built for us).

We are taught, frankly, that risk is for white people (there are skydiving and board game jokes, here).

We are taught lies.

(To be fair, it’s not only black folk who are given these constructs, I would just argue that we suffer more from the systematic integration of them.)

Yes. Lies. All of them.

And maybe the most damning of all is the often-unchallenged notion that the entrepreneurial problems, hurdles, setbacks, set-ups, pitfalls, fall-throughs, and plain bad luck are all close kin to our aforementioned boogey-person homie Failure.

But wait… The fundamental purpose of a business is to bridge a gap, or solve a problem, right? Entrepreneurs succeed by “fixing” market failures at a level of proficiency worth paying for (as opposed to a theoretically more arduous status quo). Rarely do businesses create something truly “new,” but rather, they solve a need that has been solved before, but in a “better” way. It, therefore, doesn’t take much logical deduction to realize that fundamentally businesses exist to address failure – if your brain is spinning, it’s because we haven’t really given ourselves many easy “wins,” here, logically speaking. The point, here, is why would we assume that the thing built to solve the problem can’t have problems of it’s own? It’s as if we think we’ve failed as soon things become less than a cake walk, or smooth flight.

I’m about to deliver the let-down of the century. I know, I’ve built this up. But here it goes: I don’t have a solution, for you. But I do hope that sharing some thoughts of my own regarding how I diagram the problem in my personal life has helped you do the same.

One positive step that I have taken, of late, has been to just speak some of this stuff to myself, aloud, in hopes of forcing my brain to recognize the subtle differences in language we can use to frame ourselves (and our ventures). Our language, so often, informs our thought processes around faulty assumptions that we don’t even realize we are reinforcing.

I remind myself of these regularly:

Words and specificity matter. It is far (far) easier for a business to fail than a human to fail… A business failure is simple: There is no more resource to pursue “the things.” You ran out of steel for the bridge or some other metaphorical mettle that it would have taken to finish / float / fly. It’s okay. It happens. There are entire articles (books, sub-genres) about people who have failed in businesses on the path to eventual success that came before you, and if you’re lucky, there will be articles about your failures for the folks who deal with these same dilemmas in 20 years.

Every business (and person) has problems. Great businesses find ways to solve those problems, which for the most part are not unique, in new ways that give them advantages over the other people who have tried to do it. So stop being shy about them. They are NOT indicators that you are failing, or a failure. Seek help, talk to people, get advice, talk to more people -- this is the job. These problems are what will make you great, and these problems are to be expected (read: not an indictment of you, just what comes next).

If this were easy, we would all be millionaires.

Trust yourself -- and this one is huge -- logically, you couldn’t trust a failure, so the sooner you can remind yourself that you’re not a failure, the sooner you can get back to trusting your greatness.

Repeat the affirmations and positive steps outlined in 1-4.

The take-away, I hope, is that by recognizing failure to be what it is (internal motivation), hopefully we can distance ourselves from the fears, and start making better choices regarding our businesses and lives. Entrepreneurship is a lonely, boobie-trapped path along the side of the jagged cliff that we jumped from. We are carrying our wings and dreams as we descend into a canyon, before -- if we are among the few -- we can climb back up the other side and tell people “we made it.” Just like all of the successful entrepreneurs before us, we’ll tell people how hard it was, we’ll tell people that it didn’t work, but they won’t remember the part where we tell them about how we didn’t fly across the gaps, but that we fell down and then climbed back up. We will tell them that it doesn’t work the way you plan it…

They won’t listen. None of us do. We are dreamers. They will just hear that we built wings, and it worked out okay in the end (that we weren’t failures, like they fear they are), and they’ll build their wings and walk up to the cliff.

The best thing we can do -- now and then -- is welcome the questions, embrace the problems, and hope that somewhere, someone, will listen to us when we say (over and over and over again) that we are here to listen and talk to them through the things that scare them. We will tell them to hire consultants, and rely on experts, and use their networks. We will try to create as many success stories as possible from the group of people who follow us, if only because it will mean there are that many more survivors available to answer questions like for the next batch.

And if we’re lucky, we can help them unlearn their fears.

In the words of someone smarter than me:

“Failure, if it is anything, is about not trying, not about not succeeding.”

This article originally appeared in shorter form on www.modeldmedia.com. This was the original version that I wrote, but it was (as you might see) long as shit, so it had to be paired down. Thanks to the editorial staff over there for helping me get this in at a word count that was postable, but for anyone who wanted the full-text, I wanted to share.

Be great.

-Niles Heron

[shhhselah]

Mack Daddy OG BooThang

Sunday, January 20, 2019

1:28am

Pretty, isn’t it?

It’s the kind of place I’d imagine going on a honeymoon. Like, what man is going to take me here, and where he at? Cause no, really....where he at though? 

Ya know, I realized something a little while ago. Like, legit just a few minutes ago lol. It’s a prayer I’ve prayed for years, but am finally in a place to receive and see it. Check this out, y’all: 

God is dumb romantic and He’s like....the greatest player of all time. Except God ain’t no player. Oh no, baby, no. He’s the whole GAME.

And you know what?

He’s playing for keeps.

Yeah. That’s right. You heard me. Peep the title. Y’all thought that was just to draw you in? Tuh. (It was.) But I was being oh so sincere and trying to let y’all in on the real. God got the game on lock, because He is the game....and the lock for that matter! Lemme break it down, aite?

Ladies. What do we want in a man? That varies, I know; but essentially, we want a man who will protect us and provide for us. Someone who will pay us attention and take us out, who will make us feel special, who will open up and be vulnerable with us. A gentleman, who will love us unconditionally and make us laugh. Someone who can lead, who is observant and honest, kind (and a little dangerous/edgy, shhhhh), and who can cook and dress. Someone who we can be our most authentic, vulnerable, chill selves with and shares our same beliefs values and principles. Right?

And fellas. What do y’all want? Lemme see. A woman who is strong yet submissive- can cook, bake, and clean properly; take care of the kids, keep a job, and have her own ambitions; stay loyal and true; be willing to talk, listen and just be silent at times; can kill any outfit, kick it with the fellas (and actually fit in), be secure in her place and not jealous (but a slight attitude is fine cause y’all love a challenge and bit of fiestiness); and shares your beliefs, values and principles.

We both love a lover who can not only balance, but challenge us and make us better. Cause, at the end of the day, your partner is a God-given tool used to continue to shape, prune and grow you. (And give you comfort, but the list goes on, so moving forward.) Isn’t it amazing that God encompasses all of those qualities?

Selah.

Think about it.

How romantic is God? He is so ready to sweep us off our feet (man and woman). He wants to woo us and take us out on lavish dates. He desires to fly us out to exotic places and teach us new languages. He loves to listen to us rant and rave, vent and process, reflect and respond. He adores Netflix and chilling with us! He taught you how to be fly. He gave you the courage to start that new fashion trend. Honey, He blessed those meals you thought were about to be trash lol. He constantly, constantly constantly desires to be around us and watch us, listen to us and talk with us. So yes, He wants to take you on dates and take care of you while you’re sick and whisper sweet nothings to you. He promises to heal you and lift you up when you’re down and spoil you abundantly. 

Fellas, He protects you and rides with you, stays loyal and true to you- stays silent when you don’t wanna talk and inputs when you need to hear it. He guides you, even when you- metaphorically and literally speaking- don’t wanna stop and ask for some got dang directions. He’s the reason you have drive and motivation, suave and swag. Please. Y’all thought y’all taught y’allselves that. Go sit down.

The Lord is on a mission to love us, and love us fully. He did it when He died on the cross and raised Himself back up and opened His arms for us to run into. But everyday, He wants to start anew.

This is something He showed me a week ago and it is so beautifully mind blowing- *inserts journal entry here*:

(Sunday, January 13, 2019- 9:27pm)

Jesus calls us His bride. And....I like that. Yeah. It feels indicative of something. Like, after marriage, we stop saying "Bride," and switch to "Wife." For some, this is an honor- a time of transition and settling into what's finally permanent. It’s like, for years (or months) you all have been building up to this point, and it's finally here. “She is my wife now. Officially. Forever more.” And that's super exciting!! Super giddy and inspiring! But it was something about a deacon at my God sisters’ church, calling his wife his “bride-” after 8 months of marriage- that really got me. Something about that word usage really struck me. It reminded me that Jesus has never called us His “Wife.” But His Bride. The Bride of Christ. Bone of His bone. Flesh of His flesh. It's kinda like He's telling us that He's always in the honeymoon period with us. That our reunion with Him is always and will forever be fresh to Him. Everyday we are at the first day, the big day- standing right there at the altar. And you know what, at first, I low key felt like that was because He recognized how fragile human loyalty is. He knows how temporary the flesh and its decisions are. It's like Jesus officially calling Simon, "Peter." Graduating him from Flimsy Reed (which is what “Simon” means in Hebrew), to Rock (what Peter means in Hebrew). And that graduation only came because of the Father's influence, revelation and power. By his-self, Simon wasn't enough to become Peter. The reed could not transform into the rock without the Potter making another vessel out of the clay. Jesus told him, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven." (Matthew 16:17) Only God's power could bring about the upgrade, the transformation. And like us, without God, we can't be consistent and sturdy, set like rock. We're too flimsy! So Jesus calls us His "bride," because everyday is the wedding day with us! To me, it seemed that He called us this because everyday is a choice to not run from the altar and this union, to stay united and faithful. To not divorce or cheat with other desires and opportunities and people.  But then I realized something. He accepts us afresh and gives us His, "I do," every single day. It's why the Word says His mercies are afresh each morning. Because His “I do” for us is afresh and renewed every morning. Calling us His bride isn't really about our flimsiness, but His willingness and desire to stick by us, no matter if we run. So yeah, everyday we can choose to not leave the altar, but, ultimately, His love is what keeps us from running and what brings us back even when we do! His arms are always open. It's His kindness that leads us unto repentance. So yeah. We are His bride because He marries us and our issues, our shortcomings and flaws and everything stinky, "ugly," evil, weak, and broken in us every day. He says "Yes. I do." with joy overwhelming. Every. Single. Time. His joy never dims. His Yes never dims. Unto eternity.  

What a Sweetheart He is, right? Yeah. God looks at you- yes men, you too- and sees His bride, the church. And every single moment of the day, He gives us His unfailing, fully devoted, enthusiastic, “Yes! I do!” And it will never die. It will never fade. It will never lose that enthusiasm. 

Have you ever felt like you were too much for someone (or the world) and yet simultaneously felt like you just weren’t enough? I have. Often. But that feeling is so against what God intended for me or any of us to feel. God isn’t afraid of your scars. He isn’t afraid of your “ugly side,” your vulnerability or anger, your past or your addictions. He isn’t afraid of your sex life or your cussing habits, your jail time or your insecurities and need for control. He’s not intimidated by you. He isn’t overwhelmed or disgusted by you. 

He wants to spit game to you all day, everyday. Game that will have you leaving them boys and birds alone and settle in for 7:30pm Bible Study on Tuesday night cause ain’t nothing sweeter than your God’s presence. Game that will have you looking at these dudes’ pick up lines like dog poop, cause you’ve read Songs of Solomon. Aaaaannd you let the Lord reveal to you what He thinks about you, so they 3 seconds of acknowledging your fat booty or “gorgeous smile,” just don’t measure up.

I’m telling y’all, God is spitting game at y’all that will give you wisdom and skills to get a promotion at ya job. Who you know that can do that??? What book did you read, what girl did you date, what club did you go to, what sport did you play that gave you the discernment, skills, confidence, and Holy Spirit advantage to go up the ranks at your work place and achieve your dreams while getting checks and coin? Huh? Huh? Huh? Okay cool. I’ll wait.List em out below, please.

All I’m saying y’all, is that God really is the OG Mack Daddy Boo Thang forreal! 

He’s a, “Foreva eva? Foreva eva eva eva?” “True playa forreal, that’s my homie forreal,” sort of love. 

Read the Songs of Solomon and just peep the Shakespearean game this King of all kings is throwing down. Read the Proverbs and the Psalms and the Gospel and just know how your Bae looks at you. 

How He tweaks for you to call on Him. The way His eyes twinkle when He hears your voice or your laugh. Educate yourself on His promises to rain down only the best on you like His name was Ashanti. Research His promises to do right by you, make you better, and luv you betta like His name is LL Cool J. Cause you know Ladies Love Cool Jesus. Let yourself be whisked away on the greatest bae-cation of ya life. 

Because everyday will be the honeymoon when it’s #BooThangAndYou.

Selah.

*Oo, and sidenote: Ladies, stop calling these fools “daddy,” and get with the real Zaddy. Okay? Bloop bloop.

[mystery-moose]

FIC: Angus McDonald and the Flight of the Flying V (7/?)

[AO3 link]

They’ve come a long way, but even ten years after the world was saved, they’re still not quite where they should be. A whim, a missing painting, and a handful of near-death experiences help a flip wizard and his apprentice bridge the gap.

Taako does his best. Angus takes some risks. Introductions are made, bonds are tested, and lessons are learned — better late than never.

There was a part of Taako, still, that was dedicated to his self-preservation. Old habits being hard to break, it acted up from time to time. Right now, it said that he should never have come here, that he should have stayed back home and been content with dull days and duller nights waiting for Kravitz rather than put himself in the middle of some shit that wasn't even his business.

The rest of Taako told that part to sit down and shut the fuck up. That was then, this was now. He still wasn't sure exactly when or how it had happened, but it didn't matter — he was here for Angus, and that was that.

That didn't mean he wasn't cheesed as all hell.

"What the hell was that?!"

Angus sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees, frowning at the hardwood floor. After they'd done what they could to help the fire brigade (which wasn't much) and given detailed statements to the Rockport militia, it had gotten late enough that the trains had stopped running. They were stuck in town, so they picked up a pair of rooms at one of the nicer inns to collect themselves.

"I don't know," he said, staring intently at nothing. "I can't figure it out."

"Well, I'll help you out, boy detective!" Taako said, pacing angrily by the window. "We nearly got roasted, is what!"

"But why?" Angus asked, still not looking at him. "Why kill Mr. Wendell? And why set a booby trap? If they wanted to destroy evidence, why not do it when they killed him? It doesn't make—"

"Stop getting hung up on the why!" Taako shouted, stomping in front of him with his hands on his hips. "Start thinking about the how! That was a seventh-level spell, homie! That shit don't grow on trees! Someone wanted us dead in a major way!"

Angus's brow rose. He straightened up and looked at Taako, somewhat startled. "You're right."

"'Course I'm right," Taako said, crossing his arms. He turned to pace back to the window. "Now let's go home."

There was a brief, confused pause. "What?"

"Home, boychik," Taako said, turning around. "That's what we're talking about, isn't it? Let's grab our ghoulies and get gone."

"I can't do that."

"Give me one good reason why."

Angus looked at him like he was crazy. "Taako, this is my job."

"It's a stupid picture of some birds, Angus!" Taako said, throwing his arms in the air. "It's not worth—" —you. "—all this!"

With a gentle sigh, Angus propped his elbows back on his knees. "I'm sorry I got you into this, sir. It's not your problem. You don't have to stay if you don't—"

"Oh, don't you fucking dare pull that line on me, kiddo," Taako said slowly, taking a step forward and leaning down to glare at Angus. "That's some Burnsides-brand horseshit, and it will never, ever work. Believe that."

They stared at each other. By degrees, Angus lowered his head, but not his gaze. "I'm not leaving, sir."

"Well, then neither am I!" Taako shouted quickly, before that little part of himself could gain a foothold. He straightened and crossed his arms. "And that's that!"

For a long moment, Angus regarded Taako from behind his glasses — when did he get so unflappable? where did that come from? — then, with a little huff, he smiled and looked down at the floor again.

"Thank you, sir."

Taako scoffed and resumed his pacing, somewhat less angry than before.

"You were right, though," Angus said. "I get too hung up on the why. That spell, you sound familiar with it."

Taako shrugged. "S'not that complicated."

"Describe it. How's it work, exactly?"

"It's a delayed conflagration spell," he said clinically, briefly allowing his ego to take pleasure in playing the expert. "You make a circle, and when something breaks the circle, the spell goes off. Catches the air above it on fire. Set it and forget it."

"So why didn't it go off when we entered the room?"

Taako furrowed his brow, shook his head. He was no detective, this wasn't his bag. How was he supposed to know why—

Oh.

"It only went off—"

"—when we left the circle," Angus said with an emphatic nod. "You saved me."

Again, Taako let his ego absorb that praise with gusto. He brushed his nails against his shirt. "I guess I did, huh?"

"How'd you know it was there?"

"Thought I smelled something, like charcoal. But it wasn't quite a smell, y'know?" Taako reached up and tapped his temple. "I cast True Sight, and then I saw it."

"Yeah, I remember smelling something burning..." Angus stroked his chin thoughtfully with thumb and forefinger. "But I only smelled it after we came in."

"Could be entering the circle primed the spell, and leaving it was the trigger."

Angus looked up, startled once again.

"What?" Taako asked with a gentle smirk. "I'm not just a pretty face."

"Is that typical of that spell?"

Now, that Taako had to think about. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "Not... really? I've never heard of it acting that way. But I mean, it makes sense, right?"

"Absolutely," Angus said, smiling again as he looked down at the floor. "So that's the how."

"Come again?"

"You said it yourself," Angus explained, clasping his hands together. "Seventh-level spells don't grow on trees. There can't be that many wizards in Rockport or Neverwinter who know how to cast that. Furthermore, the spell behaved atypically, which means it was modified. I'm no expert myself, but I know it takes a lot more effort to modify a spell than it does to cast the original. That narrows the pool even further."

"So we're not looking for a badass wizard, we're looking for an ultra-badass super-wizard," Taako said flatly. "Cool. Cool cool cool."

"And once we find the who, that'll lead us straight to the why." Angus stood from the bed and rested his hands on his hips with a grin. "We're one step closer to solving this mystery!"

"Joy of joys," Taako said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"C'mon, sir," Angus said, walking over and wrapping an arm around Taako's shoulders. "You have to admit, it's kind of fun."

"Oh, pumpkin," Taako sighed, putting his hand over Angus'. "Your idea of fun has never made a lick of sense to me."

Taako didn't need much sleep, being an elf, but he barely even tried that night. Too much adrenaline, too much nervous energy. It was pointless. So he tried his hand at meditating, a skill he'd been universally bad at for his entire life, and when that failed he pulled out his recipe book and poked at his notes on the sequel to sandwiches until Angus knocked on his door.

"I know where we need to go next!" he said as soon as Taako opened the door.

"And where's that, Agnes?" Taako asked with a sigh.

"There's someone in Rockport I know who can help us narrow our search. You know him too, actually."

Taako raised an eyebrow — did he know anyone in Rockport? — then quickly realized he didn't care. He shrugged and gathered up his purse and umbrella. "Alright, lead on, kemosabe."

The house was a reasonable walk from their inn, closer to the farmlands on the eastern edge of town. And it was definitely a house; there were no manors or apartments out here. A wide, one-and-a-half story home with a full flower bed, cheap pink flamingos on the lawn, a bunch of corny pinwheels in various designs, and a set of small railroad tracks circling the entire lawn. There was a mailbox with a tiny wooden man in a blue uniform on top. The name on the side said Percival.

Angus walked up and knocked on the door. Taako surveyed the scene around them with a grimace.

"This guy is gonna help us find a super-wizard?" he asked.

"He's the only person I know who really keeps up with the magic scene in Rockport."

Taako reached over and poked one of the flamingos on the nose. It rocked back and forth on one springy leg. "That's a little disappointing, kiddo, gotta say."

"Yeah, well," Angus sighed. "Like I said, I don't meet a lot of people outside of work."

The door opened. On the other side was a round human man with a great big bushy beard flecked with graying hairs. He looked to be in his forties, with big eyes, a large forehead, and some of the worst fashion sense Taako had ever seen. Seriously, the poor bastard look like he'd been thrown in a thrift store dumpster and rolled down a hill. It was almost upsetting to look at.

He looked between Taako and Angus curiously for a moment before he recognized them. Then he grabbed Angus' hand with both of his and shook it. "Oh my gosh, Angus McDonald! Holy crow, how long has it been?"

"A couple years, Percy," Angus said with a smile.

"Wow, yeah, it has been, huh?" said Percy, still shaking his hand. "You were looking for some fortune teller last time, right? Did you ever find her?"

"I did, actually."

Percy grinned. "Great! Super glad I could help!"

"You can let go of my hand now, Percy."

"Oh!" He dropped it immediately. "Sorry."

"It's fine." Angus gestured over his shoulder. "You remember Taako, too, right?"

Taako peered hard at Percy, stroking his chin. When he met his gaze, Percy smiled and extended a hand.

"Oh yeah, I sure do! Not a day I'll ever forget, right?"

Taako pursed his lips and tapped them thoughtfully with a finger. Then he shook his head. "Sorry. No idea."

"N-no?" Percy asked, a little sadly. Then he perked right up again. "Oh! I know! You'd remember my train name! It was Graham!"

Taako stared at him. Then, feigning recognition, he lied. "Oh, yes! Of course! Now I remember!"

Percy-Graham shook Taako's hand with both of his, then stepped inside. "Hey, c'mon in! I was just going to put on some tea! You like tea?"

"Sure, Percy," Angus said. "We won't be staying long, though, okay?"

"Of course! Of course!" Percy waved dismissively over his shoulder, shuffling off to the kitchen. "You're a busy young man, I know!"

Taako leaned over to Angus. "Who's this guy again?"

"Graham." Angus said. When that had no impact, he furrowed his brow at Taako. "From the Rockport Limited. One of the passengers that day?"

Taako stared at him.

Angus rolled his eyes and mumbled, "The juicy wizard."

"Ohhhh! That guy!" Taako laughed quietly. "Jeez, why didn't you say so?"

Juicy emerged from his kitchen with a platter full of tea, cups, and some of those little wafer cookies that tasted like cardboard and paper. He led them into the sitting room, and Taako had to fight not to sneer at the decor.

It was nothing but trains. Books about trains, souvenirs of trains, big metal gizmos which he could only assume were once parts of trains. There were model trains in various states of disassembly, along with sections of scale track against one wall. Newspaper articles about the trains were framed on the wall alongside paintings of trains. Very occasionally, Taako spotted something wizardly — a wand, a staff, a handful of spellbooks on an otherwise empty shelf — but it was vastly outnumbered by all the train shit.

"How's the Rockport Locomotive Society doing?" Angus asked politely, sitting down on the couch next to a pillow embroidered with little trains.

"Oh, great! Wonderful, even!" Juicy said, pouring them each some tea. "We're getting new members all the time! At last count, it was over a hundred!"

"People?" Taako asked in disbelief. Angus elbowed him.

Juice shrugged. "Well, I mean, not everyone comes to the meetings. And not everyone pays their dues on time... but the roster has over a hundred people on it! Sugar?"

Angus held up a hand. Taako waved him on until he'd put seven cubes in. He sipped at it gingerly, pinkie extended as his auntie had taught him, and very grudgingly admitted that Juice made a mean cup of Darjeeling.

"So!" Juice leaned back in his easy chair, one of the few things without a train on it in the whole house. "What can I help you with, Mr. McDonald?"

"I'll cut to the chase," Angus said, resting his saucer in his lap. "We're looking for someone. A wizard, or sorcerer. All we have to go on is their level of expertise."

"Well, there's not too many expert magicians in Rockport! And I know most of them through the Society," Juicy said. "What's the clue?"

"A seventh-level spell. Evocation magic. Altered to have unique properties."

Juicy nodded thoughtfully, lips pursed in thought. "Altered, you say?"

Angus nodded. Taako crossed his legs and noticed that the rug's pattern was nothing but tiny train tracks.

After a minute of careful thought, Juicy shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry, son, I got no idea who that could be. There's very few people in Rockport who can cast seventh-level, and none of them specialize in Evocation."

"What about Neverwinter?" Angus asked.

"Neverwinter, huh?" Juice leaned forward and set down his saucer and cup. "That's a much bigger kettle of fish."

"Not what that means," Taako mumbled. Angus elbowed him again as Juice stroked a hand through his beard.

"There's a few I can think of," he said. "I don't know 'em except by reputation, though."

"That's okay, Percy," Angus said, pulling out his pen and notebook. "Anything you can tell us would be helpful."

Juicy started counting off fingers while Angus took notes. "Well, there's old man Dietrich. He runs a potion shop in the merchant quarter. Heard he can cast eighth-level. More of a Transmutation guy, though. There's Penelope, she's a stage performer, dabbles in Evocation and Illusion. But she's on tour, I think. And there's Holly! She's a retired adventurer, got a big place up in the noble quarter. Getting up there in years. And, well. There's the obvious."

"Obvious?" Taako asked.

Juicy nodded. "Lady Blisk."

Angus stared at Juice for a moment. Then his eyes widened and he slumped back in his seat. He looked both surprised and a little frustrated.

Taako furrowed his brow. "Sorry, some of us don't read Fantasy Us Weekly. Who's that?"

The boy ran a hand through his hair, and when he looked at Taako, he grimaced.

"Katarina Iphigenia Fedosia Blisk," he recited. "Lord High Steward and Archmage of Neverwinter."