#like hmmm maybe having hours to weeks at a time where whatever consciousness makes me me doesnt exist at all isnt normal

[red-revival]

The more I think on how I am when I'm badly dissociated for a long period of time the more I start to realize that maybe what I experience isn't normal dissociation and idk how to feel abt that

[lookingforhobi]

♡ Wallflower  ♡

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

au/genre/warning: Fluff; dancer Hoseok; Sunshine

Word Count: 3,776

You’re the type of person who prefers silence, feels awkward in a tiny hint of spotlight, enjoys time for yourself, being in your own bubble and keeping small circle of trusted friends,

He is loud, enjoys the attention, friends with almost everyone!

Then your world turned upside down when you find yourself sharing the light with the one you’ve warned yourself to stay away from.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You always hated when he jokes around and makes the whole class squirm when he starts singing, rapping or dancing. You hate that he makes you smile with the way he laugh- slapping whoever is beside him or basically throwing himself everywhere. Hate that he sometimes disturbs you with annoying jokes, and most of all..  you hate how he can stop you from breathing and functioning with just a glance or more so when he says your name.

Okay, he is good-looking. And yes, talented. And yes, despite his boisterous laughter and loud personality, he is also a smart-ass. He aces exams, professors love him, and he’s really quite serious with his studies. He’s almost-perfect. Almost...because he annoys you and you know that means trouble.

So you choose to stay away from him, never acquainted yourself to him or dare get his attention. You prefer glancing from afar and being just a wallflower. You’re accustomed to being in your own bubble, minding your own business and staying away from the popular ones. Besides, you already got a plate full of responsibilities- keeping up with school, volunteering, and your job to at least help you balance your life. You’re surviving and thriving with the way you modelled your life.

But fate laughed and played on you when the yearly talent-show of the whole Uni started. You love dancing, always been your getaway from all the stress of life but never dared to join dance clubs and the like. The only time you can showcase your dancing skills is when you are forced to, like school requirements or activities. And this time, life put the greatest test on you.

“Okay, settled then! Hoseok and Y/N will lead the class for this year’s event.” Said Namjoon, the class President, as you enter the classroom from your job. You were almost out of breath from running just to get in class on time.

“Sorry, what?” you almost shouted. “The class decided, you’ll work with Hoseok while the other officers will prepare for other stuff needed. We have seen your performance during the dance show last week for our PE class and we have decided you have the talent. It’s time to finally share it, yeah? We need you to get past this semester, Y/N. Consider this as a charity for the whole class. Please?” You looked at him... His innocent smile and dimples popping out. You need to act cool and just go on with it. “I guess I don’t have a choice? If Hoseok’s okay with it then sure." It feels new to you stepping up, but maybe it is about time to make a change. Besides, you needed a break from studying and working. But then, you reminded yourself to step away from the limelight as soon as this is all over. This is just a one time thing but you’re literally anxious. You decided to shake it away. He’s out of your league anyway so it will all be good. You’re good putting up a wall.

Rehearsals are scheduled everyday after school hours, sometimes even on weekends. So this means you have to endure a month of preparation with Hoseok. It was okay at first, it’s purely dancing and putting your ideas together as a team. Hoseok leads us most of the time as he is one heck of a perfectionist when it comes to his craft. Never miss a count or else…

“Annoying!” you unconsciously blurted under your breath. “Sorry, what was that, Y/N?” he asked with his eyebrows raising. “N-Nothing. Just go on with the rehearsal. You’re good.” you said not even looking at him. You are literally shaking because him raising his eyebrows means you’re in great trouble. “Hey, this is OUR responsibility. I need you here. Please focus, Y/N!” He points at your phone, signalling to put it down. He is one perfectionist, and clearly a strict mentor! Most of the squad shivers when it’s time for business. But never forgets to be the Sunshine that he is during rest periods. He have different personas, which draws your attention to him even more. But you chose to stay in the shadow, as it is where you are comfortable…away from sunshine. You sighed and put down your phone. “Okay, from the top.” You almost shouted with annoyance.

“Okay, that’s a wrap. Tomorrow’s our free-time since you all did well today. Be careful of the rain! And inform me or Y/N if you reached your houses safely. Night, team. You all are amazing!” Hoseok says with full of enthusiasm despite dancing for hours!

“urgh! Fuck it!” you cursed while trying to contact another Uber rider. You’ve been trying to book a cab since the last break but to no avail.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Hoseok asked as he packs his stuff. All the squad are gone and now you’re here with alone with your worse nightmare.

“Uber have been cancelling on me, that’s why I am so annoyed the whole time. Sorry for it, I will try not to affect my performance next time." you said with a sigh.

“Okay, just this time. Your mood shows in your dance. Come on, I’ll drive you home. I don’t want you getting sick,". Hoseok said casually.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m good" you insisted. “Y/N, it’s night time. It’s raining. You’re my partner and my responsibility.” He looked at you and you literally gasp for air. You need to practice putting a shield up around this guy. He’s melting every inch of you with just one look. You hated it!

You managed to nod despite trying to control your breathing as he moved closer. “We need to run to my car though. I parked it there" Hoseok lead the way out of the dance studio. The rain was pouring hard, and your clothes literally hugged the shape of your body as you run towards his car. “Jump in!” he shouted as he opens the door for you. “Just our luck! We might stay here for a while. I can’t see a thing!” Hoseok exclaimed. Zero visibility means a high chance of road accidents, and you don’t want that.

“Do you have extra clothes? You can change. I promise, I’ll try not to look.” He said with a smirk.

“Urgh. I used all my extra clothes. Thanks to your nonstop dancing and glaring Mr. Jung Hoseok.” you glared with annoyance in your voice.

He laughed and pointed at the back seat “I have clean shirt and towel here.”

He leaned towards the back seat and accidentally touched your shoulder. You tremble with his touch. It sends a lot of emotions and damn butterflies everywhere. Again, you hated it!

“Are you sure? Don’t dare to look or ISTG it’ll be your last day, Hoseok" you warned. He laugh and winked, annoying you a little more. You try to cover yourself with the towel but failed. “Let me" He said almost whispering. You can feel your heart beat so fast, and your body begging for air.

He holds both ends of towel and closed his eyes “I’m not gonna look. You got to trust me. So go ahead.” He said.

He looks so perfect upclose. His lips slightly pursed. His dimples showing. His perfect lashes. His nose you just wanna pinch. He looks so calm and ethereal. “Done?” he asked, bringing you back to your consciousness.

“N-not yet.” you immediately removed your wet clothes and put on his clothes. You scolded your self as you try to keep your breathing under control. “Okay, done. Thank you.” you said as you catch your breath.

“Wow, my shirt goods on you" Hoseok compliments, looking at you from head to toe. “I’ll give it back if that’s what you’re thinking” you said shyly. “No keep it, I like it better on you" he smiled. And for the first time, you found yourself smiling back, taking in the complement from him.

“I think we’re good to go. Do you wanna grab dinner first?” he asked. You shake your head. As much as you want to spend time outside your house, your body is just too tired and cold.

When you reached your house, the rain is already stopping. “Do you wanna go inside? It’s the least thing I could do for your....kindness" you asked, genuinely thanking him. “Sure. You have dinner? I’m starving!” he said without hesitation. “I’ll cook. But you’re not gonna tell anyone!” you replied, as you roll your eyes. You’re not the type of girl who would put on great effort for food, as long as it is edible it’s okay for you. Besides, you’re used to feeding just yourself. But this time, you out-done yourself.

“Hmmm. This is delicious! I didn’t know you’re this good.” He said. “Oh Hoseok, there are more things I am good at" you blurted without thinking. He smirk, and his gaze turned dark. “L-like... like....” you try to look for things but he laughed aloud. “Let me explore that side of you, Y/N. You really caught my attention since the beginning, you know" he said without breaking eye-contact. “What? How? I never wanted to be in the spotlight. I prefer being a wallflower. So how can you say that?" you said almost whispering. Urgh this Hoseok effect is taking it’s toll on you.

“You shine everywhere you go, Y/N. It’s hard not to notice you" he whispered.

He moved closer and you find yourself leaning towards him, too.

“woaaaah Hoseok! Why are you here?” Blurted your annoying little brother Jungkook. Hoseok bit his lips and slowly smirk at you while turning to Jungkook. “Hey there. I dropped Y/N here.”

Jungkook looked at you with his wide, annoying smirk. “We just finished rehearsals. So... you wanna eat? I cooked dinner" you try to act chill but your voice is failing you.

“You what??? You never cooked for me! What's...” Jungkook was about to say more but you glared at him. You don’t want Hoseok to have a hint, or whatever. He immediately grabbed a plate and start eating while talking to Hoseok about gym and music. But you know deep inside your annoying brother, he will never let this to rest.

You walked Hoseok out of the house after dinner. The rain finally stopped and it was getting late.

“Thank you for driving me home" you said shyly. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner" he said.

You stood there for a couple of minutes, not wanting this to end. Until he gently pulled you towards him...

“Come here" he whispered. You stood frozen and he enveloped you into a tight hug. You felt secured, safe, comfortable inside his arms. “H-Hoseok..” you whispered shakily. “s-sorry Y/N. It’s...sorry. I have to go then" he retreats. You smiled and bit your lips still trying to gain composure. “I’ll call you...when I get home. “ he said and left.

 He called after few minutes for a quick goodnight. You never talked about the hug or whatever happened that night. You leave it at that, you’re fine. It’s confusing for you but you prefer not to say a word. Better to stay as a wallpaper than share the spotlight and gain attention. You’ve been a wallflower since then, and it’s best for you to stay like that…. Hopefully until graduation.

-------

“Y/N! What time did you finish rehearsal last Friday?” asked Lia, my bff. “Not late. Why?” you answered while subtly looking around the classroom. “Heard you went home late?” teased Ryujin. You stared at them wide-eyed and they laughed. “No, Hoseok drove me home. Uber’s been a pain in the ass so I have no choice.” They both have this silly wide smile. You never told anyone what happened but clearly, your brother can’t get a hold of his tongue when it comes to Ryujin.

“Y/N", someone whispered from behind. “Y/N! Babe!” Hoseok said loudly that the class stopped. “What the--?” you glared back at him. “What? You’re not answering so I had to say it louder.” He said jokingly. “You’re annoying. Stay away from me Jung Hoseok!” you shouted back. You put your earphones on to ignore him and the class mocking you both. He seems to enjoy this teasing, you don’t. You hate him for that. You hated the teasing and the fact that he’s very vocal. Seems like it is just a joke, everything’s a joke. He will never get serious. “This is why I prefer to stay away from you. You’re trouble” you said to yourself.

*text message*

9:01 am: Hey, it was just a joke.

9:01 am: Please...

9:02 am: Look, I did something for you...

9:03 am: Y/N!!!!

9:03 am: I'll shout again.

 You looked to his direction and he showed you a flower that he drew *insert Hobi's drawing *

You rolled your eyes and texted him back.

*text*

You: I’m a wallflower. I’m invisible. I prefer to stay that way. So please, whatever you’re planning to do, Hoseok, leave me out of it.

Hoseok: you’re not a wallflower. I see you. You shine.

You: stop it, Hoseok. Right now. Please.

 You put your phone inside your bag and tried to ignore Hoseok for the rest of the day. He keeps on bugging you still, but you never let your guard down. Besides, you can hear him from afar because of his loud voice and boisterous laughter which is so easy for you to spot and stay away from. His energy transcends beyond the school walls, and he’s making your shield tremble.

 During rehearsal, you can’t ignore him anymore. It’s going to be tough but you tried to keep it professional. But just as he said, your emotions can sometimes be shown in your performance. Even the whole squad knows you’re ignoring him.

“Okay. Great job. Tomorrow, same time. Same venue. And I expect everyone to give their best.” Hoseok ended the rehearsal as usual with a bossy, straight-forward attitude but with a sunshine smile.

“I’ll drive you home,” he whispered to your ears, sending signals in your body. You gasp when he moved closer and freeze when he gently touched your head. You were determined to turn him down earlier that day, but with simple touch you totally forgot that plan. You’ve been resisting, but he still won’t let go. He gave you food and water during the rehearsal break, he even gave you extra towel while you were mentoring one of the dancer. He keeps on reminding you to drink, asks for your opinion, and smiles once in a while in your direction. Whatever this is, you’re not sure. But you like the feeling of attention, it’s all new to you. You hated it, that’s for sure. But everything change when you let Hoseok pull you towards the light. Everyone notices you now, you’re getting compliments and people starts to notice the things you do and the things you excel at. It is new, and exciting, and overwhelming at the same time. Thanks to Hoseok who first noticed you, before you even notice yourself.

 You stayed that way during the whole preparation time. He drives you home after rehearsals, and sometimes he picks you up during weekends. He’d park his car and have lunch in one of his favourite spot few minutes away from the city. You never talked about labels, you just enjoy talking on the phone with him till you both fall asleep, you just want to enjoy a bit of attention he gives you during school hours. He respects your wish not to disturb you or do anything cheesy during class. You both settled with silence of each other’s company. You get used to him following you around the campus- annoyingly but still being subtle. His friends stopped teasing you both when they start noticing that things between you are getting serious. It’s not just about the dance, partnerships or the fun of it now. You don’t know, but he’s changing you.

 During class, he would sit far away from you. But during break time, he made sure to remind you to eat and drink. Sometimes he asks if he can sit down with your friends and couldn’t get his eyes off of you. It was uncomfortable at first, but then you found yourself looking to his direction when he’s not sited beside you. You even let him join your laboratory group and would help you manage to get through your fears of needles. You started to trust him and let him enter your bubble. Soon, you both were inseparable. Sharing sandwiches and even drinks.

“So tell me, what’s with you and Hoseok?” asks Lia. You shrugged your shoulder because that’s the truth. You do not know! You never talked about labels, who you are in his life, what’s the deal with all his sweetness and why are you letting him take the lead. “I just want to warn you, that thing-whatever you both have, is not good. You’re in for a heartbreak.” Ryujin voiced out her concern. “You need to ask him. People are starting to notice, you know. Even other class are asking and girl, get out. It’s big drama for those girls.” You sighed in response. They are right, girls have been very unsupportive with you.

 On the day of the event, you prepared yourself to ask the big question. You’re not the confrontation kind of person but you need to settle this once and for all. Besides, you promised yourself at the beginning that this is just a temporary thing. After this task, you’ll go back to your own bubble, away from light.

 “Wanna know my secret?” Hoseok asked before you go up the stage. “What?” you asked shakily. “I hate the spotlight, too" he said seriously. And for once you can sense his uneasiness. You unconsciously held his hand and smiled “You got this. Just think we’re still inside that dance studio. It’s just us.” you smiled. He pulled you into a tight hug and sighed, “What am I gonna do without you, babe?” he whispered and kissed your forehead which left you frozen for a moment.

“Can you celebrate after we get that trophy?” one of the squad teased and you immediately stepped back from each other. With shaky breaths and unstable heart beat, you went up the stage and dance your emotions away.

It was one tough performance. All groups are so great. But in the end, your squad won. It was one of the happiest moments but then reality sink in. It’s over. No more rehearsal flings and late night drives, what you have with Hoseok must come to an end, too. “Hey, you okay? We won but you seem off after the performance. Did I do something wrong?” he asked on your way to your house. You didn’t know how to answer so you just looked out the window and it seems like he can sense it too.

When you reached the house, Jungkook was nowhere. So no reason for him to stay longer. “Can I come inside? I think we need to talk" he said seriously. You just nodded without a single word, afraid of what’s coming. As you stepped closer inside, you can feel the impending end of what was the heart-stopping fling you’ve ever had.

“What's wrong, Y/N?” Hoseok asked wearily. “Hoseok, what are we?” you asked directly without looking at him. “We? Us?” he asked back, dumbfounded. You tightly closed your eyes trying not to cry in front of him. “We are perfectly happy with each other. We compliment each other. Aren’t we?” he asked, as he slowly lift your chin up. “Y-yes. But... are we...?” you shook my head and sighed. “I don’t know, Baby. All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t focus if I can’t see you. I need you. I like you, Y/N. Isn’t it obvious?” he whispered. You can hear his sincerity,  you can feel it. “Okay.” you answered. “Don’t you feel the same way?” Hoseok asked. “I....I do. But I don’t want to assume things. I-" you didn’t finish talking. Hoseok put one finger over your lips to stop you. “oh Baby...” he whispered and touched his forehead into your.

He leaned closer and your heart starts pounding real hard. Your belly tightening, and your whole system shuts down. You closed my eyes and felt his lips kiss your shoulder and then he kissed your forehead. “Y/N. I---I want to kiss you real bad,” he whispered, asking for permission. You smiled and bit your lips.  It started with a simple peck. All of your worries and what-nots slowly fading away. This, you like this. You like the feeling of security and warmth he gives you. You love the fact that he sees you even if you can’t even see yourself. That you shine for him and so does he. You let go, finally. You let him take the lead. And you know, whatever happens next, he will never let you go. You can feel his tongue gliding over your lips asking for permission. His hands roam at your back, slowly caressing every inch. It was sweet, and hot.. and the kiss deepens. He pulled you closer... You anchored your hands on the back of his neck and begin fondling his hair. His hands glide to your waist, slightly pinching your sides. You gasp and let out a small moan. “Hmm. I like that sound" he whispered, and pinched you again gently. “H-Hoseok...” you moaned his name under your breath.

“Y/N, you’re making me want to do things!” he laughed with husky voice. You looked at him and bit your lips. He smirk, “don’t look at me like that. I don’t want to force you to do things that you don’t want to do, Y/N". He tried to get away but...

“What if I want to?” you bravely answered. You have enough teasing. Yes, you hated it. You want him. You want him and all his annoying traits!

“Oh baby" he whispered and went on kissing you. This time, deeper, harsher... Like thirsty individuals tasting wine for the first time. You drunk all the feeling and stopped fighting. You let go.

“Do you wanna go upstairs?” you smirked. “Oh anywhere with you, Baby" Hoseok answered.

[bigskydreaming]

Have you read Nightwing 71 yet? Sorry if I spoiler anything, but Ric was "groomed" "manipulated" and "brainwashed" by owls and, he IS now. I mean, AGAIN. Wow. Does DC ever know that Dick(or Ric) has his own character and personality and he is human, not tool ready to be used whenever or whoever needs? I am getting sick of this Ric grayson the free real estate BS.

I just read it now and its what I was expecting to happen but somehow it played out even worse than I was prepared for. There’s one line in particular that I don’t want to spoil in case any followers still care about that book being spoiled in terms of specific/detailed spoilers at this point, but something the Joker says to Dick near the end of the issue just makes this soooooooo much worse IMO than just another brainwashing for him. 

But I mean, lbr here. This isn’t the Church of Blood or even the Court of Owls messing with Dick’s mind this time. Literally playing God with his entire sense of self and view of reality. Its the Joker. 

The. JOKER.

This has officially pushed this story arc over even my disdain for the Forever Evil mess, and as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the Batfam should be BEGGING for his forgiveness after all this is said and done, no matter what he ends up doing while under the Joker’s control. I’m honestly going to just skip any fic that attempts to conclude or follow-up from this arc with anything other than the Batfam ALL busting their fucking asses off to do the work this time and put TIME and EFFORT into getting him to trust them or even want them around again at this point, because anything less than that will just leave me steaming at this point. 

Literally the ONLY thing I want to read right now is a fic where someone in his family figures out ON THEIR OWN, LIKE ACTUAL DETECTIVES that no one who has had his mind and agency violated and disregarded as often as he has - just that they even KNOW of - could possibly be alright, and so based off of even just plain simple logic he can not possibly be alright, and so could one of them just fucking SHOW UP for him, and not to try to fix him according to what THEY think he needs but just to be there and ask what HE needs? 

Where they make themselves a resource rather than them the knight in shining armor to his damsel in distress? Where they let it be about HIM instead of it being about them avenging him or them putting him back together or them protecting him or them somehow ending up more front and center and making more of the choices in-story than he gets to even though its supposed to be about him?

Like....just a story where the Batfam doesn’t have to wait until he has a literal breakdown before realizing he’s not okay and hasn’t been for a long time.  Where they look at the LONG string of times none of them have been there when he needed someone, and ask themselves WHY it is that they all expect him to be present and accounted for whenever they need him but none of them ever seem to be around when he could use a hand - even though they all always pretty much know exactly where to find him.....like, he’s the only hero in Bludhaven. They know this. Everyone knows this. 

Like, its not that hard to google “is shit going down in Bludhaven this week y/n” and drive half an hour when they hear his circus just got burned to the ground AGAIN or his apartment building was just blown up or there are four randos running around in his old costumes or the local crime lord just hired a dozen major assassins to all try and bring him Nightwing’s head.

Or his evil dead grandpa who last we saw was being handed over to Bruce’s custody BY Dick himself is somehow out on the loose again, why aren’t his family putting bets on where Rob Zombie’s bound to end up at some point - oh yeah, watching him through his window all creeperlike - I mean, I know their dad’s a billionaire but that’s just easy money. When a dude whose obsession is as hard to kill off as he is and with the backing and resources of a whole secret society of rich fucks who all think Dick’s destiny is to dance on the end of their strings, like when they all show a tendency to keep coming back like cockroaches no matter how many times they get stomped, what’s the best proactive approach to being prepared for the next time? 

Oh right, leave the sole focus of their constant attempts at abduction/manipulation/brainwashing completely isolated, alone and defenseless without even the memory of why he shouldn’t trust someone who shows up claiming to be his great-grandfather even when he actually turns out to be the real deal.....’see, its not that he’s lying about who he is, its that who he is happens to be evil.”

Seriously. HOW is this a family of geniuses??

HOW is fandom so often convinced its DICK who’s the dumbass out of all of them, when this is their brains on “oh no, Dick’s not here to tell us what to do while we bitch at him for it.’

Imagine fics where someone in Dick’s family looks at the HUGE number of holes in their knowledge of his life.....the periods of long stretches of time where NONE of them were in contact with him and thus have ANY idea what might have happened to their infamously-tightlipped-about-when-bad-things-happen-to-him brother/son without them knowing about it.....and wonder...hey, what DID happen to him during those times and isn’t it weird and WORRISOME that he’s never volunteered any info about those periods and we’ve never ASKED?

Aka the years he was estranged from Bruce because Bruce couldn’t pull his head out of his ass long enough to apologize to Dick for firing him and then turning around and hiring a new kid who gets the Wayne adoption AND the Grayson family name that were BOTH kept or taken from Dick when he was still pretty much just a kid himself.

Or the long months Dick spent infiltrating the mobs and then the Society of Supervillains when he was Coping Badly after everything that happened to him in Bludhaven, both what they know of and whatever else they don’t know of that could’ve been driving him back then....driving him straight into the company of VILLAINS rather than them.

Or literally anything that happened to him while he was working undercover by himself for the highly dangerous and infamous spy agency that also tried to take over his brain (PS - how many people don’t know that the ultimate resolution of the Grayson series, the endgame, was Dick battling the main villain for control over his own mind, because guess the villain’s plans for him were? Oh yeah, to be his new host body when he downloaded his consciousness into Dick’s body and kicked Dick’s consciousness to the curb. LOLOL. Ah yes. Everybody wants Dick Grayson - just without the parts that actually MAKE him Dick Grayson.)

Etc, etc, ad nauseam.

Everybody talks endlessly about how Dick Grayson is a people person and the heart of the family and his teams and nobody thinks twice about the fact that this is the same person who is so infamously often left on his own to his own devices battling the worst of the worst and everybody thinks oh he’s fiiiiiiiiiine. Like, I’m not actually sold on the idea that Dick is an extrovert rather than an introvert vs he just fakes being an extrovert very well....but what does it say that everybody ASSUMES Dick is this huge extrovert and yet.....it never occurs to them to seek HIM out and surround HIM with the people that supposedly an extrovert like him should need to recharge and recover after enduring shit like he does?

How about instead of a million fics where Dick’s agency is ignored yet again so the Batfam can dramatically find out about his rapes whether he likes it or not, and insert THEIR idea of what should happen next/how he should deal.....how about fics where he TELLS one of them or all of them about these or other events that have happened to him, on HIS timetable, of his OWN volition....because he WANTS to? Because he’s READY? Because he honestly believes it’ll help him to tell them, that they’ll be there for him, he TRUSTS this....because they’ve already done the work of proving to him they will or giving him reason to believe they will....rather than just leaving him with no other choice?

Just....

Think about how often Dick’s casually referred to as the glue that holds the family together or the emotional heart or center of it.....

And then wonder if maybe the reason the Batfam as a whole is so fucked up....

Is because what everyone calls the HEART of it is constantly left neglected, alone, and fucked up and not taken care of, not looked after....

Like....

What tends to happen when you don’t take care of your heart? Protect it? Keep it healthy, keep it safe?

Y’die.

Your body goes stone cold. You keel over. DOA.

Hmmm.

Don’t want the Batfamily to be cold...distant....a family in name only....

MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ITS SO-CALLED HEART THEN.

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 11: A Plan of Action 

A few days later, the B Team was making a plan of action to return to Homeworld along with Lars and the Off Colors. Lars and the Off Colors made it back to Earth around a week after the B Team did. After they figured out the failed mission, they were on board with help planning with going into Homeworld. 

After all, Lars was able to get pass security undetected. The same would go for Connie too...that is if she wanted to go back. They weren't sure considering what she saw happen to Steven.

"So where would be the best place to enter?" Bismuth asked, looking at the Lars and the Off Colors. "Where did you guys get out from?"

Everyone looked at each other as if trying to remember. 

"Wasn't it the west side?" Rhodonite asked.

"No, no. It was the east side," One of the Rutile Twins said.

"I thiiiinnnnkkkk it was the norrrttthhhh," Fluorite added in.

Peridot sighs looking at Bismuth and Lapis.

"You sure they'll be able to help? They don't even remember where they escaped Homeworld from."

"Guys. Remember it was the south," Lars said. "It was the one place where they didn't have too many guards."

Everyone looked at Lars for a few seconds before the Rutile Twins looked like they were thinking.

"Oh yea it was the south now that I think about it."

"H-he's right!" Rhodonite exclaimed nervously.

"I just had a vision! Lars is going to say we escaped from the south side and end up being correct!" Padparadscha says smiling.

Everyone looked over to Padparadscha before back at each other. 

"So the south side," Bismuth says. "So maybe you guys can drop us off there."

"There's one issue with that though," Peridot said. "Now that White has control over the others *and* the diamonds, I think security will be really tight now. White may believe that Steven is dead, but that doesn't mean White will up security. Who knows how Homeworld is like since we left."

Lars flinched at "Steven" and "dead" at the same sentence, and Bismuth noticed.

"You alright, Lars?"

Lars took a deep breath before looking over.

"Y-yea I'm fine," he looked back towards the others. "Maybe we could use a backup plan just in case. Peridot's right. We don't know how Homeworld is gonna be whenever we go back. And with Steven's state, it could change anytime. We need to be prepared for anything. We could go over there once or twice a month to see what is happening."

"But isn't that dangerous?" Lapis asked. "I mean like you said, Homeworld will constantly be changing."

"Hmmm...maybe we can re-engineer the ship to turn invisible and go undetected. We won't land, but try to get an accurate look on Homeworld."

Everyone looked at each other before back at Lars.

"I can help out with that if you want," Bismuth spoke up.

"Me too," Peridot added. "Whatever helps if we want to take down White Clod once and for all."

"Alright well...I think Connie will be here soon so I'm gonna go wait on the beach," Lars said.

Everyone looked at him and nodded. Lars walked off until he was standing on the beach, several feet away from the ocean. He looked out into the distance and sighed.

"Steven…"

Lars and the Off Colors were getting closer and closer to earth.

"Captain Lars, we're about to hit the atmosphere of earth!" Rhodonite exclaimed.

Lars looked out the window and smiled.

"Excellent. Everyone buckle up and embrace for impact!"

"Yes sir!" everyone exclaimed as they buckled up.

It didn't take them long before they breached the atmosphere and quickly started heading for the surface.

"We will be landing in the minus 20 seconds!" one of the Rutile Twins announced.

"Awesome!" Lars says as he looks out the window.

It didn't take long before they landed on the beach. Of course the Off Colors were looking around in amazement.

"So this is Earth?!" one of the Rutile Twins exclaimed.

"It looks so beautiful!" Rhodonite smiled.

"It cerrrrrtainlllllyyy dooooeesss," Fluorite said slowly.

"Alright. Let's head out!" Lars announced. "I'm sure everyone will be glad to see us. Heh...Steven will probably just tackle hug me."

Everyone just chuckled as Lars opened the ship's door. 

"Alright, let's go."

Lars started walking out of the ship with the Off Colors and looked up to see the B Team speaking to each other before looking up at the group. Lars was a little surprised to not see Steven or the Crystal Gems with him, but maybe they were inside or something.

"Hey guys," Lars said as he walked closer to them.

"Hey welcome back Lars," Bismuth smiled at them. "How was your trip back home?"

"Eh aside from a few bumps in the road, it was fine. Ran into Emerald since we stole her ship, but other than that, it was easy breezy."

"Well that's good," Bismuth looked at the rest of the group. "And I'm assuming these were the gems you traveled with."

Lars turned his head to look at the Off Colors. 

"Yes they are. They really helped out along the way."

Bismuth smiled and looked at the others. After everyone greeted each other, Lars looked back at the B Team.

"So I'm assuming Steven and the others are at the beach house right?"

The B Team immediately got silent and looked at one another. Lars instantly knew something was up.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"You...could say that," Peridot looked away.

Lapis looked down with a mixture of sadness and anger on her face.

"Guys?"

Bismuth takes a deep breath.

"Lars, please listen to me carefully. We...didn't succeed in our mission and...Steven he...he's badly hurt. White...well...she made Pearl impale him...through the stomach." 

The Off Colors stared at the B Team in shock as Lars stared at them for a second before he started to laugh.

"Man guys that is such a good joke! I didn't know you guys had a sense of dark humor!" he continued laughing. "That's funny! But really in all seriousness, where's Steven?"

The B Team only stared at him with grim looks on their faces. Lars only looked back as he shook his head.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that? C-come on! This is Steven we're talking about! He has that healing spit so he could just heal his injury! You're all just joking with me!"

They still stared at Lars with the same look as Lapis wrapped her arms around herself glancing away as Peridot looked at the ground. Bismuth looked at Lars with a saddened look. After seeing their expressions haven't changed, Lars's eyes widen in shock as he froze as he quickly realized that they were not joking around.

"Y-you guys are serious…? Steven's really…?"

"He's...currently in intensive care," Bismuth sighed looking at Lars. "The doctors are saying Steven even lasted through his 10 hour surgery let alone survived a week…"

"I-it's been a week?!"

Bismuth slowly nods. "Yes and he still hasn't shown any signs of consciousness."

Lars only stared in shock as he stumbled back trying to process what he's just been told.

"A-and the others…?"

"On Homeworld under White's control. The diamonds are under her control as well. We were lucky to escape without much issue. It was only us, Steven, and Connie who came back."

Lars looked at the ground, not believing what he was hearing. Steven...the person who always was his friend despite his old selfish attitude...the person who literally brought him back to life back on Homeworld...was currently fighting for his life as they speak.

"Oh my! We're about to receive horrible news about Steven!" Padparadscha suddenly exclaimed.

Everyone glanced over at Padparadscha before back to the B Team.

"Lars, are you ok?" Bismuth asked, concerned.

"I...I'm gonna need some time to process this…"

"Understandable."

Lars took a deep breath before looking at the others.

"Is...Connie ok?"

"Well...physically yes," Peridot spoke up. "But...she saw what happened with Steven so...mentally, no."

"Oh…"

Lars sighed as he continued looking out before a voice startled him.

"Lars?"

Lars flinched as he looked over to see Connie looking at him.

"Oh...hey Connie."

"Hey. I'm sorry, did I startle you?"

"Oh uh...no you didn't. Just lost in thought I guess."

"Oh…"

Lars sighs. "So...how was your therapy session?"

"It was ok I guess. Still trying to…" she glances to the side. "It's just...it's hard."

Lars sighed as he looked out again.

"I...don't know what you're going through and all but...we could be here for you you know. Sorry I'm not that good at giving advice like he does but…"

"N-no it's ok I appreciate it," Connie softly smiles. "I really do appreciate you trying to help. I know it can't be easy for you either."

"Yea...but we do have to believe in him."

"Yea."

"Now come on. Everyone else is helping make a plan for going back to Homeworld."

Connie smiles slightly and nods. "Ok let's go!"

Lars and Connie started heading back to the group, having the thought of Steven hopefully waking up soon.

End of Arc 2

[kookiecupid]

The Color of Love

Friends to Lovers Au

Pairing: TaehyungxReader

Category: Very Fluffy :D and some attempt at comedy

Summary: It’s Valentine’s day and in an effort to comfort you after a break up, your best friend, Kim Taehyung, takes you on an mini adventure.

Word Count: I’m not sure, I know it’s more that 3000

Please enjoy the following cringe

~~ 9 years earlier during some random playdate~~

“Tae?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are there some things that like mean something and other things not?”

“That doesn’t even make any sense, Y/n-ah….”

“AHG I mean like why on valentines day everything is the color red or pink why not like BRIGHT BLUE!?”

“Because that’s weird, Y/n-ah.”

“….”

“I’m KIDDING!”

“I don’t like you, Tae.”

“Well that’s too bad.”

“Why? HMMM???”

“Because I like you.”

“Gross.”

“HAHAHA. Oh I know! On valentines day I will give you a blue valentine instead of a pink one.”

“Gross.”

“Y/N!!”

“OKAY I will make you one too, that way we can like change the world or something.”

“Okay… Bluey.”

“Heyyyy…”

~~ Present Day ~~

“Y/N! It’s been like 2 weeks since you’ve left your room!” Taehyung whined over the phone.

You sighed. Taehyung was right. Ever since you broke up with your now ex-boyfriend, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do much other than watch Netflix and make an occasional trip to the kitchen to eat something small.

“Y/N-ah,” Taehyung called. “This is our last year before Uni. Tomorrow is Valentine's day and I don't want you to be alone. Plus, once we start uni, who knows when we will actually have time to hang out! All I’m asking is that you get your butt out of bed and join me on one adventure! Maybe it will get your mind off things!”

“UUUGHHHHHH!” You groaned in reply. You paused. Taehyung was right….You didn’t want a stupid break up to get in the way of having a good time with your best friend when when next year you will be going to different schools. Not to mention you really didn't want to be alone for Valentine's day. A year ago from then would be the anniversary of when you and hour ex had gotten together. But after almost a year of dating, your ex just decided to break up with you. He had said that he had just “fallen out of love with you.” You needed a good distraction.“Fine, Tae. But ONLY because you’re my best friend and I hate you.”

Silence.

“Tae… I know you’re doing you’re stupid little victory dance.”

“Whaaaaaaaaattt….,” Taehyung replied. “Aish who am I kidding, you know me too well hahaha!” A giggle escaped you causing Taehyung to gasp dramatically. “Y/N!!”

“What is it now, Tae?”

“Nothing…. It’s just the first time I’ve heard you laugh even a little in a long time.”

Smiling you brought your phone down from your ear. He was right. But Taehyung always made you smile even if he didn’t know. “Okay, Tae. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

~~~

The next day got off on a pretty exciting start to say the least.

“AAHHH!!! Tae!!! What the heck are you doing in my room, in my FACE and so early in the morning?!?” You had rolled over in your sleep causing you to wake up a bit when you realized a certain brown haired boy was staring at you a little too close for comfort.

“Dude, first of all it’s like 1 in the afternoon. Second of all it’s been 2 weeks since you last let me see your beautiful face AND I wanted this masterpiece to be the first thing you see on this oh so glorious day,” he said motioning to his smiling face. He continued smiling his boxy smile and wiggled his brows for effect which had you throwing a pillow directly at him. “aHHG!” You immediately hid under your blanket knowing what was coming.

“Y/NNNNNN!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!” Was Taehyung’s battle cry as he tackled you. There was kicking and tickling and lots of laughing. Taehyung finally uncovered your face and grinned. “Ah, there she is! My beautiful smiling girl!”

“Tae!! Don’t say stuff like that!” You squealed covering yourself with the blanket again.

“Ah, Y/n-ah. Are you blushing now??” He teased.

“Tae, if you don’t get off me I will kill you right here and now,” you growled from under the sheets.

“HAHAHAHAHAA YOU’D HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST LAZY BONES!!”

Rolling your eyes you laugh to yourself. There he went, bolting down the stairs and you let him go. Revenge was right around the corner.

(in the distance)

“Oh Taehyungie! You haven’t been to see Y/n in so long I almost forgot how handsome you are!”

“Thank you, Mrs. (Y/l/n).”

“Now come over here and try this Hongeo I’ve been learning to make!”

“Oh, Mrs. (Y/l/n) I didn’t know you were so capable of creating such fancy foods….”

You couldn’t help but snort at the conversation. You could practically hear Taehyung trying not to gag. That boy would do anything to make a good impression on your mom. Despite the fact that you knew he could be an absolute devil, you had to admit it was super sweet and you appreciated it.

Come to think of it, Taehyung had always been there for you and making sure everything in your life was as good as it could be as long as it was in his power to do so. For that you were always thankful for him and you tried to do the same whenever you could. You guys were inseparable to the point that even in your first year of high school people thought you two were dating. Back then you puked at the mere thought of dating your best friend, but now you knew that anyone would be lucky to have him.

Reaching the kitchen you managed to arrive just in time to save Taehyung from the dreaded hongeo dish. “Sorry, Ma!” You said motioning for Taehyung to follow your lead. “Looks like Tae doesn’t have time to try your uh… food.” You two quickly ran out the door and you slammed it shut as you heard your mom calling to you.

“YAHH! Y/N WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘UH FOO-“

“Y/n!” Tae scolded. You stuck your tongue at him and the two of you laughed.

Getting into the car you turned to your best friend. “Thanks for doing this Tae, I know I’ve been a buzz kill lately.”

Taehyung looked at you fondly. “It’s okay, Bluey. I’m happy to.” You blushed at the old nickname.

~~~

“Tae….”

“Wut???”

“Why did you bring me to the mall??!! You KNOW I hate the mall,” you pouted.

“Ah, c’mon, Y/n-ah!” Taehyung whined. “I promise we are gonna have so much fun!” And with that and a light ruffle of your hair, Taehyung jumped out of the car and started walking off without you.

You slumped as low as you could in your seat making a small tantrum. “This kid….”

As you approached the entrance you saw that Taehyung had waited for you.

“HAH! I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me,” Taehyung teased leaning into your face. You looked at his stupid expression unamused… and slapped it. “Y/N!”

The two of you wandered about a bit. You forced Taehyung to buy you a pretzel first to which he rolled his eyes but indulged nonetheless. You didn’t know what he had planned, but you followed him consciously trudging along hoping he would give up on you and just take you to get ice cream instead. But Taehyung continued with the stupid, handsome grin on his face every time he faced you. Every time he did that you had to look away; it made you feel weird for some reason.

“A-HA!” Tae said stopping suddenly in front of you. “Yah, Y/n look where you’re-“

“TAE!!!!!! MY PRETZEL!!!!”

“AHH!! IT WASN”T MY FAULT!”

“IT TOTALLY WAS!”

“NO IT WASN’T, CLUMSY BUTT!”

“DON’T CALL ME A BUTT IN PUBLIC, YOU BUTT!”

“STOP YELLING BUTT!”

You two paused and looked around to find some old lady who was on the phone giving you the death stare. It was near impossible trying to control your laughter as you ran into the store you had stopped at.

“HAHAHA! Did you see that lady?!” You said a little out of breath.

“OH my god, she was horrified!” Taehyung was laughing so hard he had to wipe a tear from his eye. “Dude, that was too good.”

“I know.. damnit I missed this so much, Tae,” you admitted.

Taehyung punched you lightly in the arm. “I promised you we would have fun, didn’t I?” You rolled your eyes. “Okay, enough of this. Now it’s time for some makeovers!” He grabbed your wrist and dragged you to the back of the store.

“I present to you, the CleArAnce SecTIoN! OOOoooo!”

“I know what a clearance section is, stupid.”

“ I know you do, but this one is special,” Taehyung said as he placed a finger to the side of his nose.

“Please enlighten me, oh wise one,” you said bowing.

“ Okay, so,” he began. “This is how it’s gonna work. Each of us will choose a complete outfit for the other person that we think the other will look amazing in. Then we have to go to the bathrooms and change into them and wear them for the rest of the day. ”

You pursed your lips trying to hide your emotions. Taehyung had the best sense of style you had ever seen and you didn’t know if you were nervous because you didn’t think you could do justice to his looks or excited because you knew you were about to look great.

“Y/n.”

“What.”

“Just do it!!” He encouraged you. “I’m gonna love whatever you pick for me and I promise I won’t make you look like a clown. And even if I did, you’d still be a cute clown.” He winked.

“FINE!” You said pushing him.

“YES! Okay, so you go over there and I’ll stay here and NO PEAKING!”

“Tae, you know I would never…”

“Yeah right, Y/n. We all know you find me irresistible.”

“…,” you were blushing. “Okaydeallesgedditbye.” Turning on your heels you ran to the men’s section. Hopefully Tae didn’t see your blush. This was the third time he had flustered you today and you kept getting a weird feeling in your stomach. What the actual heck was up with you today???

“Meet me at the restrooms in half an hour!” He called.

~~~

“This is the MOMENT OF TRUTH, Y/n!” Taehyung said clapping his hands together.

“Bro, you probably won’t ever wear what I chose you in real life, but here goes nothing,” you said as you exchanged the bags of clothes.

Once you got to the bathroom and you opened the bag you squealed in excitement. It felt more like Christmas than Valentine’s day. Taehyung had chosen simple pieces, but they were quite chic. The outfit consisted of a pair of high waisted mom jeans, a dark turquoise striped tank and beige cardigan. It matched well with the booties you were already wearing. You felt cute!

You heard a knock at the door.

“Y/n-ah! Are you ready??” Taehyung called from the other side.

“Yeah just a second!”

“YAH! I know you’re just looking at yourself in the mirror, stop being so narcissistic and let me see!!!”

“AHG! Let me LIVE, Tae!”

Silence.

“Okay, Tae. You ready?”

“I was born ready.” You scoffed and opened the door.

You were looking at the ground but when your gaze fell on a pair of sneakers in front of you, you reluctantly looked up taking in everything before you. You had chosen a pair of loose, dark jeans and an oversized white button down shirt. You couldn’t really afford more than that and at first you thought it would be underwhelming, but you were very very wrong.

“Y/n-ah…,” Taehyung said. He looked equally as flustered. “Wait- Y/n, are you checking me out??”

“WHat?! Tae, don’t be ridiculous,” you said shaking your head. Taehyung simply smirked.

“Phew, it is really hot in here suddenly, maybe I should take off the sweater for now.” You started to take your cardigan off when Taehyung suddenly stopped you with his hands on your shoulders.

“What are you doing! You can’t do that here, woman!” His face was beet red.

“Tae, it’s fine I won’t get too cold, don’t worry.”

“No… its too much…… skin.” You just looked at him.

“No one cares, it’s fine, Tae,” you said sighing.

“I care,” he replied with a concerned look on his face.

“Tae, you’ve literally even seen me in my pjs just this morning if you don’t recall being on top of me… in….. my bed……” You both paused as your faces got even redder.

“ Okay, I don’t wanna talk about this anymore,” Taehyung said hurriedly. “Time for part two of the makeovers!” Taking you by the shoulders, he turned you around and rushed you away trying to move away from the conversation.

You didn’t know why you were literally having butterflies in your stomach at this point. Why was Tae acting so flustered? Heck he’s even seen you in your swimsuit! But why today of all days is this happening? What is even happening??

The next thing you knew you two were in a beauty salon. It was the typical mall salon, but it looked really high end. Suddenly you got excited.

“OMG are we getting our makeup done??” You turned to Taehyung.

“Oh god… never, Y/n,” He said having flashbacks to the time you did his make up and he felt like a doll. He had only agreed to that because you were so cute begging him to let you, but he had other plans.

“You’re no fun,” you pouted.

Taehyung scoffed. “Excuse you, you’ve been having the time of your life, missy. Don’t give me that bs.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Aish, you know me too well,” you retorted, quoting him from the night before. “So what’s the plan, Tae?”

“Follow me,” he replied and you two walked up to the front desk.

“Good afternoon! How can I help you?” Greeted the lady seated there.

“Hello, Miss. I was wondering if you could take 2 walk-ins right now?” Taehyung asked her.

“Oh, of course! Today has been a bit of a slow day, so head right in, he will be out in a second and take all the time you need, sweethearts.” She smiled.

“Thank you,” you replied and the two of you went to stand by the waiting area.

“Taehyungie!!” A voice called from behind you. A tall, handsome man in all black strutted right in on hearing that he had some customers. “Oh, how rude of me. Hello, name is Jin,” he said shaking your hand. “I’m Taehyungie’s friend! You must be Y/n, right?” He elbowed Taehyung in the rib. “I’m sure he’s mentioned me before, he sure mentions you… a lot.” This time it was Taehyung’s turn to elbow him in the rib.

“Ahaha… no I can’t say that he has..” You giggled at the look of annoyance on Jin’s face.

“Well… no matter, this brat can’t be taught,” Jin replied. He was a sassy one. “So, what can I do for you guys today?”

“Well hyung, remember that idea I told you about that one time?” Taehyung said enthusiastically.

“Oh yes… that crazy insane idea that no one would do because you’re impulsive and need to be held captive for the sake of the human race?” Jin replied. “Then yes. Yes I do.”

Taehyung glared at his hung for a second before continuing. “Well, today is the day!”

“What are you talking about, Tae. This is scaring me,” you knew Taehyung was up to something crazy. Jin was probably right.

“Well, Y/n-ah,” He began turning to you. “ First we picked each other’s outfits and now we are going to choose each other’s hairstyles! It can be anything and everything, just has to look good.” He finished with a giant grin.

“OH nooo!!!” You laughed at his big dumb grin despite the anxiety that this idea imposed. “Tae, you’re insane!”

“Y/n, just do it! Break out of your comfort zone! You had fun picking out clothes didn’t you?” He asked raising an eyebrow at you.

“Ugh… yes I did.”

“See! I promise I won’t ask Jin to shave off your head or anything, but please let us do it!” He begged you.

“Fine!” You gave in. “But I’m only doing this because YOU are desperate!”

“Hehehehehhehehehehe-“

“Stop laughing like that, Tae.”

After some whispering exchanged between Taehyung and Jin, Jin sat you down at his station and got to work. He had turned you around so that you wouldn’t be able to see your own reflection in order for the final product to be a surprise which gave you lots of nerves, but you endured it. Taehyung on the other hand had opted to sit directly in front of you recording you every so often.

“Tae, stop taking videos of me! I look like an egg with a smock on right now!” You whined.

“Yah, but you look like a cute egg, Y/n-ah! Anyone would think you look delicious,” he winked.

“If you two don’t stop flirting I will literally puke on top of Y/n’s head,” Jin interrupted causing the two of you to blush once again. But Taehyung just giggled and continued to take videos of you while you hissed at him to stop.

Finally Jin had asked you close your eyes as he did the finishing touches and when you were done, he took a step back.

“Okay, Y/n. You’re all set! You can look now!” Jin said.

You tentatively opened one eye and then the other, not exactly sure what to expect. When you saw what he had done you couldn’t help but gush.

“Oh my gosh, guys, this is beautiful! Jin, I’ve always wanted an ombré look but I’ve always been too much of a coward to actually try it and it looks amazing!”

“Hey! I chose it, don’t I get some credit too?” Taehyung teased you.

“Yes, yes, Tae. Thank you so much,” you said sticking your tongue out at him. He was looking at you with complete and utter adoration and you couldn’t help but feel so vulnerable there. You felt the most you you’ve ever felt and you felt the most loved you’ve ever felt. Unlike your ex, Taehyung always knew who you were and always kept it in mind. It might have just come from being best friends, but you loved the fact that Taehyung never tried to change you but took you as you were. What did you do to deserve him in your life? Thinking these things, you realized you knew exactly what to ask Jin to do for Taehyung’s hair. Your  spinned in your chair and turned to face Taehyung springing to your feet. “Okay, now it’s your turn!”

“Aigoooo…. I don’t know, Y/n,” Taehyung said and shrugged. “Maybe we should just go home now”

“Kim Taehyung, you dragged me out here and did all of this to me.” You motioned to yourself. “You have to do the same or else.”

“You know, Taehyungie. I actually really like this girl,” Jin said nodding his head. You laughed and turned to Taehyung.

“Okay, okay! I was just teasing!” He said. “Why is everyone against me now all of a sudden?” He took his seat and waited as you and Jin discussed his new look.

“Are you sure about this, Y/n?” Jin asked. “It’s a little…. Out of the ordinary.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you replied confidently.

“Taehyungie, you sure you’re up to this?” He asked his friend.

Taehyung nodded. “Hyung, Y/n’s wish is now your command.”

“Okayyy…” was Jin’s response as he quickly went to work.

~~

“Okay, Tauhyung. Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll every be!”

Jin turned Taehyung around to reveal a new, bright blue head of hair. At first it took him by surprise but he actually loved it. You could tell by the way he was flipping his hands through it that he was enjoying himself very much. It was so cute.

After a few strokes to his own hair, Taehyung looked up at you from in the mirror to thank you but was taken aback by the way you were smiling at him. His heart just melted to see you like that because it reminded him of the way he knew he always looked at you. He turned around to face you and sat there and smiled back at you for a second. To your surprise, he suddenly hopped out of his chair to kneel in front from where you sat. You didn’t expect such sudden moves and your heart was racing so fast and so hard, you were just praying Taehyung couldn’t hear the cacophony inside your chest.

Placing a hand on yours, Taehyung looked up at you. “You chose bright blue,” he said softly, his huge smile reaching to even the corners of his beautiful eyes.

“Mhmm,” was your only reply. He reached up and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and gazed into your eyes. He seemed so taken with you and at the same time, you realized you were just as taken by him.

“Did you know, that I love you?” He asked in as much as a whisper. You could only nod now, but as Taehyung may or may not have been expecting an ‘I love you’ in return, the kiss you gave him was all the response he needed.

I hope you all liked it! Even if it sucks I had fun writing it :)))

Tagged readers:

@serengeti-serenity @blueygooey13 @simplykiersten love you guys

[hippychick006]

5.05 - Fallen Idols

I’ve not manged to get one of these done for a while.  It could be that I sub-consciously remembered this was the Paris Hilton episode and I needed to work up to it.   But it’s probably more that it’s painful to watch the earlier seasons (even with their problems) and then switch back to Dabbernatural.  I still intend to complete my analysis of all the showrunners, it’s just going to take longer than I anticipated.

This is essentially a MOTW episode and although it’s not one of the best, it’s not one of the worst either. Given that, it can be easy to overlook this episode and not have it on a re-watch list.  That would be a huge mistake because it’s actually a very important episode.  It’s the brothers first hunt together since their separation and we see how that dynamic is going (not well as it turns out). There’s a difficult scene between them around the middle of the episode, but I think in terms of where they come out of it at the end of the episode, it’s the start of the turnaround of their broken relationship so they can start to move forward on an equal footing (with some missteps along the way.  Dark Side of the Moon, I’m looking at you with trepidation!).  So, if you watch nothing else in this episode (though you’re missing out on some things), don’t skimp on 22:45 to 25:50 as this is one of the most important and honest discussions I think the brothers have had to date and 35:50 to the end of the episode which is the follow on to that conversation.  It’s really worth a look at the whole episode if you haven’t watched in a while. This is really long again so I’ve put under a cut.

The episode opens on two men squeeing over a silver convertible.  This particular model is a Porsche 550 Spyder, labelled “Little Bastard” which belonged to the actor, James Dean, who was killed while driving it.  When one of the men (Jim) goes to get a camcorder to record this historic moment, the other (Cal) waits in the car. We see cold air when he breathes out, which alerts us that something isn’t right, then the car radio switches on and starts hopping through radio stations.   We switch to Jim who is setting up the camcorder and hear tires screeching and glass breaking.  He goes to investigate while recording and we see some of the next scene through the camcorder lens which is a good shot.  We switch back to normal view and see that Cal has crashed into the windshield and is very much dead.  

Dean is driving and Sam asks about the case, which unsurprisingly turns out to be the death we’ve just witnessed.  Sam thinks they have bigger problems with the apocalypse and finding the colt than hunting right now.  Dean disagrees and even though Sam tries to push, Dean says, “This is what we’re doing! Okay? End of discussion.”  

I like this scene for giving us insight to where the brothers are since they got back together.  I like that Sam is not afraid to put his views across or question things, but it does looks like he’s being careful not to be seen to argue with Dean.  Dean is willing to converse only so much before he pulls the big brother card.  The effect on Sam is immediate, he looks away and sighs.  It’s this that causes Dean to relent a little as he explains to Sam his reasoning:

Dean: It’s just that this is our first real case, back at it together. You know, I… I think we ought to ease into it, put the training wheels back on.

Sam: So, you think I need training wheels

Dean: No, “we” need training wheels, you and me.  As a team.  Okay?  

Sam nods and says okay, but I don’t think he’s fully agreeing. It’s more his “okay” when he doesn’t want to argue anymore.  Dean sees this and continues: I really want this to be a fresh start, you know?  For the both of us.  

They look at each other and Sam nods and says okay again, and this time we can see he’s more on board with it, so I’m glad that Dean took the time to explain what he’s thinking, because open and honest communication is really important for them moving forward and healing their relationship.  

Sam and Dean posing as FBI Agents Bonham (Led Zeppelin) and Copeland (The Police) are at the Sheriff’s office.  He guesses they are there on account of Cal’s death, but says they already caught the guy that did it.  

Sam and Dean are confused at this (given they think it’s something supernatural) but they sit with the sheriff and watch the video that Jim recorded in the opener.  The sheriff believes the case is open and shut; that Jim killed Cal and taped it. Sam and Dean look at him in disbelief. Dean asks: How exactly did Jim slam Cal into a windshield with all the force of an eighty mile per hour crash? The sheriff blinks: drugs maybe?  He tells them that it isn’t brain surgery, whatever it looks like, that’s what it usually is. The boys are not impressed and ask to speak to Jim.

They interview Jim and ask him to tell them what he saw.  He says he didn’t see anything, but heard tires squealing and glass breaking and says it was the car that did it.   Sam and Dean raise their eyebrows.  Jim goes on to explain that he heard about the curse, but just thought it was a load of crap.  Dean asks what curse.  Jim says: The car, Little Bastard.    

Dean: Li… Little Bastard?  As in the Little Bastard?

Sam: Wait, wait, wait, uh, what’s Little Bastard?

Dean: It’s James Dean’s car.  It’s the one he was killed in.

Jim confirms that’s the one and Dean leans down to Sam (who is sitting at the table with Jim, while Dean was standing behind him), “Oh, we are definitely checking this out.”

Sam and Dean are walking around Little Bastard.  Dean with reverence and Sam not really being that interested.   Sam asks, “So, what, this is like Christine?”  Dean shakes his head, “Christine is fiction.  This… this is real.” Sam asks for Dean to enlighten him and Dean explains the deaths associated with the car.  The first that James Dean’s mechanic bought the wreck and fixed it up and it fell on him. The second being that Troy McHenry was killed when it locked up on the race track.

I researched these and neither story appears to be 100% true.  E.g. Troy was killed in a race, but he wasn’t racing Little Bastard, he was racing in a car that had spare parts from Little Bastard.  His car went out of control and hit a tree, killing him.  In the exact same race, another car locked up and rolled over going into a bend, injuring the driver.  The driver of this car was Dr William F Eschrich (who had purchased Little Bastard after the crash and had loaned Troy the parts).  Eschrich’s car also contained spare parts from Little Bastard. Most of the stories around the curse, appear not to be verified.   What I found most interesting while looking all this up, was that Sir Alec Guinness (Obi-Wan Kenobi) looked at the car, declared that it looked “sinister” and warned James Dean that if he drove it, he’d be dead within the week. And he was.  WTF Alec?

Anyway, I like how enthusiastic Dean was in telling these stories, culminating in Dean telling Sam that it vanished in 1970 and has never been seen since. Sam’s non-committal “hmmm” once again shows the difference between them in terms of their enthusiasm (or otherwise) for cars and I like the consistency in characters. Dean tells Sam the only way to know if it’s the car for sure would be to look at the engine number, which unfortunately would be underneath the car.  

Sam and Dean shed an entire layer each in the next scene (don’t get too exited, they are down to shirts and ties and not full suits).  The car is jacked up (but making ominous creaking noises) and Sam volunteers to go under, but Dean’s got this. And Dean’s got this, by talking to Little Bastard: “Okay, baby, I’m not gonna hurt you, so… don’t hurt me.”  Sam’s face during this!

Dean wheels himself underneath and the car starts creaking again which panics Dean.  He just about jumps out of his skin when Sam appears on the ground and asks if he needs a flashlight.   He tells Sam to go away and gets back to trying to get the engine number.  The car creaks again and Dean carefully takes a rubbing of the engine number then quickly slides out from under the car.  He breathes deeply to compose himself then hands the paper to Sam telling him to find out who owned it, “Not just the last owner, you gotta take it all the way back to 1955”

Sam (bitchface alert): That’s a lot of research.

Dean: Well, I guess I just made your afternoon.

Dean is at a tavern that wouldn’t look out of place in any English village.  He’s trying to pick up the bar tender that wants to be an actress by telling her he’s an agent.  And this is where I don’t understand his stans when they try to deny its canon that Dean has pulled these types of tactics to hook up with women.   I mean I love Dean, but yeah, he’s far from perfect in this respect.  Dean’s phone rings and it’s Sam, who starts to update Dean on the car’s previous owners, but his ears pick up the sound of pool balls being hit, and he asks if Dean is in a bar. Dean denies it and says he’s in a restaurant. Unfortunately, the bar tender at that point puts his requested beer down, announcing cheerfully, “Here’s your beer.”  Dean’s been caught so he says to Sam: “…That happens to have a bar.”  Sam’s not happy because he’s been working his ass off back at the motel.

Dean: Hey, world’s smallest violin, pal.  I spent the afternoon up Christine’s skirt. I needed a drink.

Sam tells Dean he didn’t (spend the afternoon up Christine’s skirt), that the car’s first owner was a cardiologist that drove it until 1972 so the car is fake.  They now need to figure out what killed the guy if it wasn’t the car.

We switch to a man (Mr Hill) sitting at a desk doing paperwork.  It’s dark outside and his maid (Consuela) comes to tell him she has finished for the day.  Mr Hill thanks her.  He returns to his paperwork and sighs, seeing cold air.  He hears a creak behind him and turns.  “Oh my god, it’s you.”  He stands up, “You’re dead, you’re supposed to be dead”.  Just as we wonder who it is, we see that it’s Abe Lincoln who snarls and advances on Mr Hill. Lincoln picks Mr Hill up with one hand around his throat and strangles him, spraying blood across a picture frame containing a copy of the Emancipation Proclamation.  Nice touch Supernatural.

The next day Sam and Dean turn up at the new crime scene and tell the sheriff they heard he had another “weird one”.  The sheriff admits the case is “a little strange on the surface, I admit, but, uh… you know, once you… you look at the facts…”

Sam (I am not here for your b/s) Winchester: William Hill died from a gunshot wound to the head.  No gun, no gunpowder, no bullet.

Ably assisted by Dean (founder of the sarcasm society) Winchester: Nope, nothing strange about that.

The sheriff insists: Well there’s gotta be a reasonable explanation. There always is.

Dean: Well, what’s your reasonable explanation?

The sheriff looks around and then whispers, “Professional killer.”

Sam: Come again?

Sheriff: Well, CIA, NSA, one of them trained assassins, like in Michael Clayton.

Dean (very slowly): Riiiight (and looks at Sam)

The sheriff continues they are welcome to look around “but these guys don’t leave fingerprints.”  Sam asks if they can speak to the witness and the sheriff is fine with that but she’s not making any sense “And she’s not making any sense in Spanish either.”

I love this next scene.  Sam and Dean walk outside, and see Consuela is talking to a deputy in Spanish. I don’t speak Spanish but I’m kind of getting something that sounds like I need my family.  And something like home in El Salvador, possibly going home to El Salvador.  

Dean introduces himself and asks her about what she saw. Consuela starts answering in rapid Spanish.  I’m as lost as Dean is when he looks at Sam, but luckily, we both have Sam Winchester, who sits down beside her and starts speaking to her in Spanish.  He’s not fluent, but he knows enough words to get by. He doesn’t know exactly what he wants to say at first and looks at Dean, while he’s trying to remember the words. He starts speaking to Consuela again and Dean is very proud of his little brother who explains, “Freshman Spanish”. Sam Winchester speaking languages, sigh.  Thank you show.  Sam translates the description of what Consuela saw to Dean; “a very tall man, very tall, with a long black coat and a…” he looks at Consuela and gestures to his chin, “a beard?”  She nods and adds “y un sombrero”.  Dean asks if the dude was wearing a sombrero.  Sam explains it means hat.  Consuela says “un sombrero alto.”  Sam checks, “a tall hat.”  Dean suggests “oh, like a top hat.”   Consuela shakes her head and repeats “un sombrero alto” and gestures very tall while saying “muy alto”

Dean: What, you mean like a – like a stovepipe hat.

Consuela: Si

Dean explains to Sam: Oh yeah, like Abraham Lincoln.

Consuela (sobbing): Si, El Presidente Lincoln

Sam and Dean look at her.

Consuela: Abraham Lincoln kill Mister Hill!

Sam and Dean look at each other.

Consuela (hopefully): So, I go home now?

Sam agrees and says gracias which Dean repeats, and he looks so pleased with himself while doing so. I just love the kick Dean gets out of learning something new.

Back at the motel, both Sam and Dean are researching on laptops. Not sure when they got one each?  Possibly Dean got one when he was separated from Sam?  Dean’s looking at Jim’s video and watches it frame by frame and sees a figure appear in one of the frames.  He shows it to Sam and asks, “Am I crazy, or does that look like James Dean?” Sam agrees that it looks like James Dean.

They sit discussing the information they have, and I love these moments, which show how well they work together, despite the trust issues between them right now.  Dean suggests famous ghosts which he himself immediately thinks is silly. Sam disagrees, “there’s a ton of lore on famous ghosts.” And is surprised they haven’t run into one before.  Dean thinks it’s unlikely they’d have two of them at once. But Sam tells him the ghosts are apparently ganking their fans as Professor Hill was a Civil war nut who “dug Lincoln” and Dean chips in that Cal must have been a James Dean freak since he spent 17 years of his life tracking down the guy’s car.  Dean says, “So you’re saying we’ve got two super-famous, super pissed off ghosts killing their… super fans?  Sam shrugs and says that’s what it looks like.

Dean: Well, that is muchos loco

Sam smiles at Dean and corrects him, “muy… not muchos”

They still don’t have an answer to the key question, what are the ghosts doing here, instead of haunting where they lived or spent time, so Sam keeps researching and we see on his face when he’s found something. He says, “You gotta be kidding me.” which attracts Dean’s attention from where he is (standing at the sink and drinking a soda) and he walks over to Sam and leans over to look at the screen, repeating Sam’s line “You gotta be kidding me.”

We don’t see what they are looking at, but the next scene opens with a waxwork of Abe Lincoln.  The camera pans round and we see it’s the “Canton Wax Museum”.  Sam and Dean are there looking around the exhibits, which in this section of the wax works appears to be politicians, with not just Lincoln, but John F Kennedy and Richard Nixon.  Dean stands in front of Gandhi and complains that he’s short.  I look up Gandhi’s height, and screw you Dean for saying that, dude’s an inch taller than I am!   Sam admonishes him and tells Dean that Gandhi was a great man.  Dean: “Yeah, for a Smurf”.

The museum owner appears and apologises for keeping them waiting, but it’s their busiest time of year.  Dean looks around the completely empty museum. “This is busy?”

Owner: Well, not right now, but it’s early.

Dean: It’s… four thirty

The owner asks what he can do for them and Sam says they are writing a piece for a travel Magazine.  Dean chimes in: “Yeah, on how, uh, totally non sucky wax museums are.”

The owner’s happy which makes me sad, because they aren’t really going to be writing an article on his museum and he’s likely going to go out of business soon.  

Sam continues that they are specifically interested in Abraham Lincoln and James Dean.  The owner says they are two of the museums most popular displays and that they have their regular visitors.  Dean asks if William Hill and Cal Hawkins were regulars.  The owner nods and says he heard what happened to them.  He asks for clarification that that’s not going to be in the article and Sam reassures him no.  

Dean says the Lincoln figure is so lifelike, that you could imagine him moving around.  “You ever see anything like that?” (oh Dean).

Owner (slightly worried): Uh… no

Sam rescues the awkwardness somewhat and asks if there’s anything that would make the museum unusual.  The owner says there isn’t another place like them, not anywhere.  Dean asks why.  The owner points at Abe’s hat and says that its Honest Abe’s real hat.

Sam: It is?

Dean: Almost like his remains (Dean looks pointedly at Sam)

Owner (back to being worried): uh, I guess

Sam asks if they have anything of James Dean’s and the owner confirms they have a keychain. They’ve got Gandhi’s bifocals, FDR’s iron lung… He gestures to the leather jacket he’s wearing, and Sam asks who it belonged to.  

Owner: The fonz, Seasons 2 through 4 (does the fonz double thumbs up and grins).

Sam: Wow, yeah, that’s… that’s really cool… ish                                

The owner tells them he’s going to make wax museums hip again, bring the kids back.  He grins and gives the double thumbs up again.  Sam humours him by giving them back.

We next see a shot of Sam opening baby’s trunk and preparing a shotgun which presumably is being loaded with salt shells.  He goes back to the room and Dean’s got his back turned to the door and is on the phone to someone and is explaining about the case.  “Yeah, Abraham Lincoln and James dean, can you believe that?  Why so kill-crazy?  Ah, maybe the apocalypse has got ‘em all hot and bothered.  Yeah, well, we all know whose fault that is…Well, I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

Sam frowns (as do I) and slams the door closed to alert Dean he’s back.

Dean spins around and looks at Sam, but he doesn’t look in the least guilty that he’s been caught.  He tells whoever he’s on the phone to that he’ll call them later.  Sam asks what’s going on, but Dean ignores the question and asks if the trunk is packed.  Sam confirms it is and asks who was on the phone.  Dean tells him Bobby.

Sam: And?

Dean (shaking his head): Nothing

Sam: So…we’re just gonna pretend I didn’t hear what I just heard?

Dean shrugs: Pretend or don’t pretend. (he walks away) Whatever floats your boat.

Sam: This was supposed to be a fresh start, Dean

Dean: Well, this is as fresh as it gets.  Now are we going or not?

Sam watches Dean leave and sighs before he follows him.

Oh boys, I understand Dean’s hurt and anger, I really do, but when you make a decision to go in a certain direction, you need to commit to that direction and not keep taking several steps back.  That isn’t fair to either of them.

Sam and Dean are inside the museum after closing.  Dean takes off Lincoln’s hat while Sam gets a trash can. Sam turns back to Dean and bitchfaces. Camera moves to Dean and he’s wearing Lincoln’s hat.  He imitates Lincoln: “Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat”.

He does a good impression, but Sam’s still pissed from earlier and not in the mood for Dean’s humour. He puts the trash can on the ground and holds his hand out for the hat.

Dean: We can’t have any fun with this? (he takes off the hat and instead of giving it to Sam, he tosses it into the trash can.

Sam:  Let’s just torch the objects, torch the ghosts and get outta here, okay?

Dean says he’ll “go grab East of Eden’s keychain.”

Sam’s left alone and he scans the room.  He looks at Lincoln, narrows his eyes and looks closer.  I’m waiting for Lincoln to move, but he doesn’t.  The double doors to the room slam closed though and Sam spins around.  “Dean?” He goes over to the doors and tries to open them, but they won’t open.  “Dean?”  Sam is not happy at the pesky doors separating him from his brother, even if Dean was being a dick to him earlier.   He hears a noise and swings around, bringing his shotgun up into position as he looks around between Lincoln and Gandhi.  He hears a creak and turns.  The shotgun flies out of his hands.  Sam turns to look where the shotgun landed and gets attacked by Gandhi leaping onto his back. Sam slams Gandhi into a wall and he falls off.  They circle one another but Gandhi is wily and scrambles under Sam and jumps on his back again. Sam tries to throw him off again by crashing onto a table.   It works but Gandhi attacks a third time and tries to strangle Sam.  Big brother bursts through the doors.  

Dean: Is that Gandhi?

Sam (while being strangled): Yeah!

Dean (just watching Sam struggling): Dude, he’s squirrely

Sam: Get the…

He can’t finish but shakes his head towards Gandhi’s wax figure.

Dean runs over to it.  “Get the what?”

Sam: Glasses!

Dean grabs the glasses, throws them in the trash can and sets them on fire. Gandhi disappears and Sam gasps for air.

Dean: You couldn’t have been a fan of someone cool?

Sam glares at him.

Dean: Really, Gandhi?

I’m putting this next scene in its entirety because the first part is amusing, but the second part is very important for where they are right now and every line of dialogue in this scene is vital.  They are back at the motel and Dean’s packing to leave, asking Sam if he’s ready to go. Sam though is having doubts about the case being finished.  Dean’s not really interested, as far as he’s concerned, he torched, the ghost vanished.  Sam’s not letting it go though, “Yeah, but I…” he sighs, “Also, I feel like he was… trying to take a bite out of me.”

Dean: A bite?

Sam: Yeah, like he was hungry.  But the thing is, Gandhi – or the real Gandhi – he was a... (Sam hesitates to continue)

Dean: A what?... (Sam hesitates to answer again), …spit it out

Sam (answers reluctantly): He was a fruitarian

Dean laughs: Let me get this straight.  Your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was also a fruitarian?

Sam: That’s not the point

Dean: That is good.  That is… even for you, that is good.

Sam: Look, I’m just saying, I’m not so sure this thing is over.

Dean: It was a ghost… It was a weirdly super-charged fruitarian ghost, but it was still a ghost.  Now let’s go.

Sam: So first you drag me into town, and now you’re dragging me back out.

Dean: You ain’t steering this boat.  Let’s go, chop chop.

Dean grabs his bag to leave and Sam doesn’t follow him.

Sam: You know, this isn’t going to work.

Dean turns back: What isn’t?

Sam: Us.  You, me, together, I… I thought it could, but I can’t

Dean: You’re the one that wanted back in, chief

Sam: And you’re the one who called me back in

Dean: I still think we got some trust building to do.

Sarcastic!Sam alert: How long am I gonna be on double secret probation?

Dean shrugs: Til I say so.

Sam: Look, I know what I did, what I’ve done.  And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you’re not making it any easier.

Dean: So, what am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?

Sam: No, you can think whatever you want.  I deserve it, and worse.  Hell, you’ll never punish me as much as I’m punishing myself, but the point is, if we’re gonna be a team, you and I, it has to be a two-way street.

Dean: So, we just go back to the way we were before?

Sam: No, because we were never that way before.  Before didn’t work.  (Dean frowns).  How do you think we got here?

Dean: What’s that supposed to mean?

Sam: Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby (Sam sighs)… was to get away from you.

Dean: What?

Sam: It made me feel strong.  Like I wasn’t your kid brother.

Dean: Are you saying this is my fault?

Sam: No, it’s my fault.  All I’m saying is that, if we’re gonna do this, we have to do it different, we can’t just fall into the same rut.

Dean shakes his head: What do you want me to do?

Sam: You’re gonna have to let me grow up, for starters.

At that point Dean’s phone rings, which interrupts their conversation, but I loved that they had it.  I love Sam’s being honest and that he’s not willing to go on and accept things the way they are.  I love that Dean listened to Sam in the end and that he seems to be thinking about what Sam has said and I think that’s all we can ask for at this point.

The phone call has Dean listening to someone that we can’t hear, he looks at Sam, then away and says “Yeah, yeah, okay” to the caller before hanging up and turning back to Sam, “I guess you were right about this not being over.”

What else might Sam be right about Dean, hmmm?

They are back at the sheriff’s office and go straight to the sheriff asking him what happened.  I love the deterioration of the sheriff over this entire episode from his world having certainty through to pretty much this:

Sheriff: I, uh, uh… (he shrugs and shakes his head), I don’t know! (he gestures to two girls in a room)

Sam and Dean go to interview them.  The scene is actually quite funny as they try to get information out of the girls who are very upset. The upshot is that Paris Hilton took their friend.

Sam: I’m sorry?

Girl 1: She looked really good though

Girl 2: Skinny!

Girl 1: Skinny and fast!

Dean: What… wait… huh?

Sam and Dean ask to be excused for a minute and go to the doorway.  Dean asks for clarification that “Paris Hilton’s not dead as far as we know, right?”  Sam answers: “Pretty sure, no”, which means they don’t think they are dealing with a ghost anymore and it’s unlikely that Paris Hilton is a homicidal maniac.

We see Sam in blue scrubs so he’s at the hospital.  He’s looking through Cal’s file and frowns so once again we know that Sam’s found something of concern. We next see him cut into Cal’s body with a scalpel, and it’s cute that even after all this time, Sam’s still a little squeamish at this sort of thing. I’m reminded why I didn’t go to medical school as we hear squelching noises when Sam reaches his hand inside the body and pulls out 2 small ball things the size of cherries.

Sam meets back up with Dean outside and he’s angry at himself for missing whatever he’s found.  Dean asks for details and Sam says there was major blood loss with both victims, much more than the injuries should have caused. Dean comes to the same conclusion that Sam did; that something is feeding. Sam then shows Dean an evidence bag containing the cherry sized objects. Dean: “What are those, seeds?”  Sam says yes and that he found them in the victims’ stomachs.  Dean quickly removes his hand from the bag, “I hope you washed your hands”.  Sam says they are unlike any seed he’s ever seen before. Dean hides his pride of Sam’s nerdiness with sarcasm, “Wow, just when I thought you couldn’t get any geekier.”  

Back at the motel, Sam’s on his laptop trying to identify what type of seeds he has.  He discovers that the seeds are not in the US but from a forest in the Balkans that doesn’t exist anymore.  Dean: So? Sam explains that a local legend said the forest was guarded by a mischievous pagan god which could take on infinite forms.

Dean: And let me guess.  He liked to munch on his fans.

Sam confirms that yes, the god can only be appeased with the blood of his worshippers, after draining them, it would stuff their stomachs with the seeds. What’s most important is they find out how to kill it; chop off its head with an iron axe.

Dean: All right.  Let’s go gank ourselves a Paris Hilton

They enter the wax museum after hours again.  Dean has the axe, Sam a flashlight. They walk past Abe Lincoln (who is now hatless of course). They split up and search different rooms, which is a little dumb, given Sam doesn’t have any weapon and he’s the one that comes across a door with a sign on it that indicates the place beyond it is closed for renovations.  Just as I’m about to mark a tick in the “dumb winchester’s column” of my analysis, he whistles for Dean who joins him and they break through the door into a part of the museum that’s decorated to look like it’s outdoors with a house in the woods. Looking around, Sam sees what we presume to be the girls’ missing friend, Danielle.  She’s tied to a tree.  Sam checks her pulse and she’s alive, but barely.

The axe suddenly flies out of Dean’s hand, like the shotgun did with Sam earlier in the episode. He turns around to find Paris Hilton in front of him. Paris is a mean fighter, easily taking down Dean and throwing Sam across the clearing, causing Sam to get knocked out.  Dean isn’t unconscious yet but that doesn’t last long as Paris stiletto’s him in the face. Ouch.

Our boys wake up almost at the same time, finding themselves tied to a different tree.  What probably woke them up was the sound of the monster’s nails being sharpened against the knife she’s holding. I’m wondering why the monster didn’t just kill them, but it helpfully explains that it’s been stuffing itself with too much fast food lately, so wants to take the time to do the ritual right.  “Prepare a nice, slow meal for a change.”  

Me: And you choose the best hunters on the planet to do that with? No wonder your kind are dying out rapidly.

I’ll spare you most of the villain monologue, it’s another god pissed that people no longer worship and adore them and throw themselves to their sacrifice “with smiles on their faces.”   The monster is tired of wandering hungry and scared, scrounging for scraps, and has taken advantage of the apocalypse to set up a permanent home, where adoring fans just stroll right in the door.

Sam: Yeah, but they’re not your fans

MOTW: So? They worship Lincoln, Gandhi, Hilton… whatever.  I’ll take what I can get.

Dean tells it that it’s not the first god they’ve met but is the nuttiest. The monster disagrees, says people are the crazy ones.  That they used to worship actual gods, but now… the monster indicates the Paris Hilton body: “This is what passes for idolatry?  Celebrities? What have they got besides small dogs and spray tans?

And kudos Paris, I like people that can laugh at themselves. Also, Sam and Dean’s expressions during this are great to watch.

MOTW: You people used to have old-time religion.  Now you have Us Weekly

Dean: I don’t know, I’m more of a Penthouse Forum man myself

Dean winks and clicks his tongue at the monster who gets up and walks over to him.  

MOTW (looking Dean up and down): Maybe, but…there’s still a lot of yummy meat on those bones, boy

Dean: Well, I hate to break it to you, sister, but uh… you can’t eat me. See, I’m not a Paris Hilton BFF.  I’ve never even seen House of Wax.

Sam looks at his brother and frowns, and it’s these moments I like; the little shout outs to Paris and Jared, both being in House of Wax.  It’s not pandering, it doesn’t impact the flow of the episode, it’s just a nice little mention that’s done well.

Anyway, the monster can read Dean’s mind, it knows who Dean’s hero is; Dean’s daddy.  She walks back over to the axe which is embedded into a tree. “And this belonged to him.  Didn’t it?  Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol.  One distant father figure, coming right up.  

Dean’s been busy though, which is why villains should not monologue. Seriously, if I’m ever a villain, I’m shooting first, talking later.  He’s free of the ropes and tackles the monster, but as we saw with Sam getting beaten up earlier, this is no easy monster to take down and Dean’s soon getting repeatedly punched. Thankfully Sam’s also been busy, and he gets free a few seconds later, jumping over the two fighting and pulling the axe from the tree. Dean lands a punch throwing the monster off him and rolls to the side so that Sam can take the shot, which he does.  It’s a little bit like Mary Queen of Scot’s execution though as he has to bring the axe down several times to sever her head from her body.  And once again, Sam Winchester’s face is completely covered in blood.  (I should have started a count on this).  Sam turns to Dean who is still lying on the ground and grins at him.  Dean lifts a finger in warning. “Not a word.”

Sam (having too much fun): Dude, you just got whaled on by Paris Hilton!

Dean: Shut up (collapses back on the ground)

Sam and Dean are finally leaving the motel.  Dean is talking to the sheriff on the phone who tells them that Danielle is going to be okay and that he’s put an APB out on Paris Hilton.  

We get our final broment of the episode as they are putting their bags in the car, Dean’s been thinking about what Sam has said, about keeping too tight a leash on him.  Sam looks at Dean warily, not sure what Dean’s going to say.  I think he’s worried that Dean’s decided its best if they separate again.  

Dean: Hell, maybe you’re right.  I mean, look, I’m not exactly Mister Innocent in this whole mess either, you know.  I did break the first seal.

Sam: You didn’t know

Dean: Yeah, well neither did you (Sam looks away, and its painful that he is completely willing to absolve his brother of blame, but not himself).

Dean: I’m not saying demon blood was a great way to go, but you did kill Lilith

Sam: And start the apocalypse

Dean: Which neither of us saw coming.  I mean who’d have thought killing Lilith would’ve been a bad thing. (Sam looks away again).  Point is, I was so worried about watching your every move that I didn’t see what it was actually doing to you…. So for that I’m sorry.

Sam says thank you and I think some people might expect an apology in return, but Sam has already apologised multiple times for what he’s done and it’s not an appropriate point for him to do so again. Dean asks where they go from here.

Sam: The way I see it, we got one shot at surviving this

Dean: What’s that?

Sam: Maybe I am on deck for the devil, maybe same with you and Michael, maybe there’s no changing that.

Dean: Well that’s encouraging

Sam: But… we can stop ringing our hands over it. We gotta just grab onto whatever’s in front of us, kick its ass and go down fighting.

Dean considers that and nods: I can get on board with that.

Sam nods too: Okay, but we’re going to have to do it on the same level.

Dean looks at Sam: You got it.

Sam nods again and Dean says: What do you say we get the hell outta here?

Sam: Hell yeah.

They turn to go to their usual sides of the car, but Dean stops and looks down at the keys and says. “Hey.”  Sam turns around and Dean holds out the keys: “You wanna drive?”

Sam (looks at the keys and then at Dean: You sure?

Dean: Yeah, I could, uh… I could use a nap

Sam looks at Dean again and Dean hands him the keys.  They get into the car and Sam drives away.

Onwards to 5.06.  I believe the children are our future.  Aww, this is the antichrist one.  Where did Jesse go?

[asleepinawell]

Defragmentation

Sometimes Root would come home from a mission scattered. She’d sit on the couch and stare into space for hours, laptop forgotten and half-sliding off her legs until Shaw came and rescued it. She didn’t seem distressed or like she was in shock. Just gone.

When she eventually snapped back to the present, it would be with a slight shake of her head. She’d look around the room, curiously, as if she couldn’t quite recall how she’d gotten there, and then act normally. Or what passed for normal where Root was concerned.

“You done staring at the wall?” Shaw asked after one such occurrence.

Root paused in the middle of smoothing out the ruffled cocktail dress she hadn’t changed out of yet. She looked like she was about to answer, but then only smiled and countered with: “Maybe I’ll stare at you now instead.”

Shaw could appreciate not wanting to talk about certain things, but she couldn’t stop trying to piece together the mystery. Root was usually hurtling forward at a million miles a minute. To see her still and empty was unsettling.

It took her a little while to see the pattern.

“Who were you this time?” she asked when Root snapped back to the present.

“Secretary at a law firm.” Root peeled off a black blazer Shaw had never seen before. “Had to get my hands on some documents in the company safe. One of the lawyers tried to get his hands on me, though, so I left him in the safe instead.”

Some thieves left a calling card at the scene of their crime, like a glove or rose or something dumb. Root seemed to leave behind unconscious and severely traumatized misogynists as her calling card. Shaw couldn’t risk telling her how much of a kick she got out of that without risking a round of smugness.

Another episode followed a few weeks later.

“Let me guess…professional dog walker?”

Her outfit wasn’t anything special this time, but it was coated in animal hair.

“Groomer, not walker,” Root corrected as she got up from the couch, leaving a layer of hair behind.

“Well, don’t get any ideas about putting bows on Bear.”

“But he’d look so good with them.” Root pulled a handful of orange ribbon from her pocket and dangled it in front of Shaw like she was a kitten she was trying to entice into playing with it.

Unnecessary pet accessories aside, it was always a relief to see her full of life again.

The next time it happened, Shaw decided it was time to have a talk.

“Do I have something on my face?” Root asked when she blinked out of her trance to find Shaw sitting in a chair across from her, arms crossed.

“You never used to space out after taking other identities. What changed?”

There was a slight flicker of uneasiness on Root’s face, quickly chased away by a lazy smile that was anything but authentic. “Hmmm, maybe sometimes I get too into my role. Side effects of being too good at lying, I suppose.”

It felt like a half-truth to Shaw. “Used to be you’d be a pilot in the morning, a barista in the afternoon, and a debutante in the evening. Now you’re one thing for a day or two and you go all space cadet and stare holes in my wall. What gives?”

Root chuckled and leaned back on the couch, stretching her arms along the back of it. “This is possibly the least subtle attempt anyone has ever made to psychoanalyze me.”

“Subtle isn’t my thing. I asked. Up to you if you answer.”

Root wasn’t making eye contact anymore, a slightly guilty expression on her face. But she looked to be gathering her thoughts rather than trying to escape the conversation, so Shaw waited quietly.

“It’s different now,” Root said at last. “It's….”

She spent a few minutes frowning at the bottle of nail polish she’d left on the coffee table before continuing. “When I take on an identity, I go all in. There can’t be any crack or flaw in my disguise, so I have to be that person. Live their life, think their thoughts. I mean not all my missions require that, but…” She trailed off.

“But the ones that do are the ones you end up spacing out on my couch after.” Shaw could sort of see where this was going. “You’ve been doing that most of your life though. You didn’t used to have to…reboot your brain or whatever.”

“It’s different now,” Root said again. She was picking at one fingernail, refusing to look up.

“Hold that thought.” Shaw stood up and headed to the kitchen, leaving Root behind to sort out her thoughts. She figured the amount of time it took to make some tea would let Root regroup.

“Here.”

Root smiled when Shaw handed her the warm mug. Her smile widened when Shaw sat down next to her on the couch rather than returning to her chair.

“Back before all this, it was never a problem,” Root said, sounding more sure of herself now. “It was a lot easier to switch on and off identities. I was still me, I mean, but me was…less complicated. I kept things at a very shallow level, I suppose. Never let myself feel anything too deeply or get too attached. In some ways, my own identity was the easiest to assume because it was the least involved in anything else.”

She held her mug of tea cradled in both hands and stared into it like there was a script at the bottom to read from.

“It’ll get cold if you don’t drink it,” Shaw pointed out. She wanted to say more, but she figured that Root wasn’t done yet and didn’t want to derail her now that she was finally explaining.

Root obediently sipped her tea. “Thanks. For the tea, I mean.”

“Right.”

“There’s a lot more distance to come back now.” Root chewed on her lip for a second. “There’s more of me. More things that matter, more things I’m tied to, more things I miss. When I stop being myself now, it takes longer to put myself back together after. Like all the pieces of me get mixed in with all the pieces of other identities and I have to sort them out.”

“Sounds like a headache. How do you…I mean…do you just sort through every thought in your brain and put them all in the correct boxes or something?” Shaw didn’t have anything even remotely approaching a frame of reference for this.

“Not quite that consciously, perhaps. I’m not even really actively aware of it. It’s all a bit dream-like, and more like…following trail markers to get out of the woods.”

“Trail markers?”

“Things that strongly connect me to, well, me. Some silly little things–” She wiggled her fingers with their painted black nails. “–but also things like computers, the subway. Her, of course. She always helps me come back.” Root fidgeted with her mug. “And you.”

There was the slightest hint of red in her cheeks. A bit ridiculous that she was embarrassed, in Shaw’s opinion, since she flirted as freely as breathing. But then this was something a lot more complex than some bad innuendo. Shaw got that. She just wasn’t sure what to do with it in this particular case.

“So why keep working missions that make you do this?”

“It’s my job. And I don’t dislike it. It’s just gotten a little more complicated.”

She finally looked over at Shaw and whatever she saw in Shaw’s face made her relax (Shaw hadn’t thought she had any particular expression on, but then Root had always had an uncanny knack for reading her). She placed her tea down on the coffee table and tentatively rested one of her hands on Shaw’s leg. When Shaw didn’t stiffen or move away, she settled her hand more firmly, palm still warm from the mug.

“She did offer to decrease the number of those types of missions, but that doesn’t seem fair. I don’t want to let Her down.”

Shaw held back an exasperated sigh. For someone who went on about how much her AI buddy cared about all of them, Root could be pretty willfully oblivious to how that caring extended to herself as well. But that wasn’t something she could fix in one afternoon.

“What can I do?” It still felt a little weird asking that, but she’d found out over time it was better than staying frustrated in silence. For both of them.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. But coming back here…it’s a good place to be. It makes the way back a lot shorter.”

“Then tell your boss that you always come here after a mission.” Though Shaw strongly suspected that the Machine was on the same page as her here.

Root didn’t say anything and the silence stretched out between them. Her fingers traced patterns across Shaw’s leg.

It didn’t happen again for a while (though Shaw was unsure if that was a coincidence or if the Machine was demonstrating the good sense that her analogue interface clearly lacked), but a month and a half later Shaw came home to the now-familiar sight of Root sitting motionless on her couch.

She looked her over with a tiny frown, taking in the details. Whoever Root had been this time had another fancy job that required formal business attire. The look suited Root in so far as all looks suited her, but it didn’t feel quite right.

She ended up sitting on the coffee table in front of Root, carefully lifting one of Root’s hands from her lap and placing it on her own knee. Root didn’t stir.

Shaw uncapped the small bottle of stinky cheap nail varnish that Root still hadn’t moved from the coffee table and went to work applying a coat of black polish to each of Root’s nails. She took her time, being careful not to smudge it, and staying fully focused on her task.

When she finished the last nail on Root’s other hand, Root’s fingers twitched on her leg. Shaw looked up to meet her eyes.

“Thought you hated the beautician business.” Root was all mischievous smiles and bright eyes again.

“Got bored. And you’re sitting on the tv remote.”

“I can think of much better things to be sitting on.”

From totally zoned out to hitting on her in under a minute. Shaw was almost impressed.

“You eaten yet? Dinner, I mean.”

Root shrugged. “Don’t really remember.”

Shaw sighed and headed to the kitchen. “I’ve got some leftovers I can heat up.”

Later that night, she let Root curl up on her and put her head on her chest.

“Getting cold lately,” Shaw said, one hand idly playing with a lock of Root’s hair. “Nice to have a human radiator again.”

“I missed you, too.”

“Hmph.” That level of sentimentality was frankly unnecessary.

“It’s nice to be back.” Root sounded half asleep now.

Shaw didn’t answer, but instead tucked Root’s head more firmly under her chin. She didn’t let herself fall asleep until Root’s eyes drooped shut and her breathing evened out. When she woke up the next morning, she found that Root had rolled off her in the night, but one of her hands still rested on Shaw’s chest, fingers splayed out, and each nail painted with a perfect coat of black polish.

[cwdcshows]

Crisis on Infinite Earths Part Four

And we're back.  What does it say about a group of tv shows you watch when you don't miss them when they're not playing for four glorious weeks; and you're actually kind of reluctant to get back into it? I also find it hilarious that a major event like Crisis concluded nearly 24 hours ago and no one on here has posted anything about it.  I haven't even accidentally come across any spoilers; no major exclamations of "Arrowverse forever changed by Crisis on Infinite Earths!" or "What does X plot development mean for the future of DC/CW Shows?". Meanwhile when Doctor Who premiered two weeks ago and in the 24-36 hours it took for me get around to watching that, I came across half a dozen posts on Facebook and videos on youtube that, without explicitly saying so, made it clear that (****Spoiler*****) the Master was back and who he was.(****Spoiler*****) That to me, I think, is a spoiler unto itself, after a fashion; the fact that there was no major, earth(s) shattering outcome to Crisis to report or for people to comment on really sets the bar for my expectations going in this and that I doubt anything of consequence is going to come out of the last two episodes.  Which I'm not even going to watch back to back, because I honestly don't feel like it.  I'm going to try to get to the last one sometime later today, but definitely not right after part four; baring some improbable cliffhanger that's just too good not to see how it concludes. So here we go....

Okay, so they're combining the Monitor's origin story with the Maltusian Krona from the comics.  I can dig it, actually.   For those who don't know, in the comics, the ancient people of Maltus were one of the first advanced, sentient lifeforms to spring up in the universe.  One of their scientists, Krona, was obsessed with studying the dawn of time and witnessing how the universe was formed; in spite of legends that attempting to do so would be catastrophic.  His experiments caused time to fracture at the dawn of time, creating the multiverse; where there was originally supposed to only be a single universe. A segment of the Maltusians, I believe at least partly driven by a sense of responsibility to the universe for this incident, would evolve to become the Guardians of the universe, who would go on to eventually form the Green Lantern Corp. Conversely, in the comic the Monitor was basically just some random entity that somehow evolved on the moon of Maltus or Oa; I kind of forget why and don't feel like looking it up.  But he was just some super, lone naked dude, hanging out on this moon and came to learn about his doppelganger in the Anti-Monitor universe.  Somehow they battled across the divide between dimensions and the fight forced them both into a state of suspended animation; until Parriah's experiments awoken the Anti-monitor (if I'm not mistaken, as a result of accidentally destroying his own universe, which somehow fed power to the Anti-monitor; and gave AM the idea to destroy the other universes in the multiverse). While Krona is conventionally a villain, all in all this works well; merging Krona with the Monitor.  Especially since there's still an antagonist element with the Anti-Monitor. Hmmm.... I can't help but wonder if they intentionally lit this scene so that Mar Novu's wife would be cast in a blue light that makes it look like she has blue skin, reminiscent of the blue skin Maltusians have (eventually anyway). I'll admit, this opening sequence isn't bad.  The appearance at the end of the Anti-Monitor felt a little hokey, but if they can keep the momentum of the first few minutes going, they might pull it off. Okay, so I'm pretty sure Ryan Choi didn't have a beard in the last episode, which I'm taking to suggest they've been stuck at Vanishing Point for a while; and the main thing I have to say is, i would have given just about anything is they just had all of the "Paragons" have beards.  Ryan, Lex, J'Onnn Kara, Kate, Sara.  Just like, fuck it, it's been a month and we've all got beards. I laughed a little about Ryan writing that "the Paragon of Destiny doesn't even believe in tomorrow anymore." and it's like, you know.... you are at the end of time, so......🤷‍♂️ Wait, so when Lex replaced Superman, somehow part of Superman's cape got left behind; and Kara randomly walks around with it from time to time? "There is not there out there anymore..."  You know, that's actually a good point.  Vanishing Point is at the end of time for "Earth" 1; or rather the universe that Earth 1 resides in.... which was destroyed... the entire universe..... from beginning to end....So how the fuck is there still a Vanishing Point?   I mean, I know that it was, originally, like a time-frozen base hovering at the instant before the end of time, but in this scenario the Time Masters who maintained all of this tech and the base are gone, the base itself is in ruins; what's keep it....preserved or whatever?  For that matter, how is there even enough air, water or food to sustain anyone there for any length of time? Man, Barry just keeps bouncing off of walls, doesn't he? 

Hey, look at that, it's all of Oliver's greatest hits.... 😁 "Why would you make me re-live all of that?" Even Oliver Queen lost interest in re-watching the vast majority of Arrow.... Gee, I wonder why Oliver's talking all funny... I bet it's nothing. The reveal of Oliver to the "Paragons" would have been a lot more worthy of rally music they're playing under this scene, if they hadn't fucking just shown us him getting ready to go and meet with them.... "I am Oliver Queen, but I'm also something more...." Come on, you've been unintentionally building to this moment of actually making the whole "something else" line an actually important part of the show and you're going pull you're punches now? As has been brought up with the past installments, the whole Oliver becomes the Spectre thing is fine, but honestly, in typical Arrow fashion the execution is seriously wanting.  They could have spent the first fucking 7 or 8 episodes doing a proper build up to that.  Defy all expectations by killing off Oliver during the very first episode of the season, maybe right in the opening, and make it seem like his journey over the next couple of episodes was about him and his friends trying to bring him back to life; weaving in the retrospective element, only to subvert it with the reveal of him becoming the Spectre instead. Maybe throw in one last heroic act, where Oliver has the chance to go back, but sacrifices that opportunity to give someone else he meets along the way the chance to be brought back instead - fuck, maybe Mia.  Either she dies or gets wrapped up in a bid to bring Oliver back to life, only for her life to jeopardized; where if Oliver didn't give her his chance for life, she'd not make it back.  Then Corrigan shows up. Anyway.... Barry asking Oliver for a speedforce boost came off a lot more like a drug addict begging for a fix. So is Ryan's grand plan on Maltus to locate Mar is to...find the central bureaucracy....?

Where's J'Onn's brother when we need him?

Sigh.....

So they didn't really have any idea what to do with the group of "Paragons" who weren't going to Maltus, or how to make their part of the mission challenging during this installment; so they're going to pad part of four of a five-fucking-part crossover with some bullshit tangent of Barry randomly needing to connect with his memories to find the others?  Why can't Oliver (or should it be "Olivre" now?  I'm going to start calling him Olivre.)  Why can't Olivre keep all them together in the same memory or whatever fuckery he's doing?  Why does he have to rely on fucking Barry to make sure they don't all fall out of....Olivre? Why can't he help Barry find them without being cryptic?  Why do they even time for this?? Does Barry still have to look for Oliver?  And what about Kate?  They only met her one other time before all of this shit went down.  Either that's the only place Oliver would tuck her away, or Barry has no chance of finding her. Sigh....DCEU Flash....cool..... 🙄 I mean, I am kind of surprised they were a) even allowed to do this level of crossover, or b) that they managed to film it without anyone leaking it.  And I did kind of see some hints over the last 24 hours, but I kind of dismissed the likelihood that this version of the Flash would appear.  I keep wanting to calling "Mecha-Flash," because his suit looks more machine based than anything else. What DOES this mean?  The whole premise that Olivre just laid out to him was that this was......him, Olivre, basically, and/or the speedforce and that he was hiding the others....inside himself or whatever, inside memories to protect them.  That wasn't a memory, so now they're not only padding this installment with filler, they're just throwing in random shit for the hell of it. How does an ordinary human walking - not even running, it seems - at average speed, manage to give a Super the slip?  I mean, when Supergirl immediately found him, it didn't seem like much of a surprise, because with all her heightened senses it shouldn't have taken any effort to track him down, but by that same token he shouldn't have even gotten more than a few feet before she noticed. For that matter, and not like it's ever stopped them anyhow, but should Kara even have her powers on this alien planet that may or may not be orbiting a yellow sun? Alright, so lets give the writers the benefit of the doubt and assume the "upgrades" Lex gave himself is how he managed to give Kara and Ryan the slip in the first place. So Olivre stuck Kate in just some random old memory from his life; so how the fuck is Barry supposed to locate her?  Especially since it's from a memory of Olivre's that Barry wasn't part of.....? Aaaaaaand the memory of Olivre is consciously aware of the likes of the Paragons floating around inside him, but doesn't know who they are or why they're there? Jesus, did the writers decide to try acid before they wrote this shit? I almost asked if that was memory Kara, but it has to be, since actual Kara is on another planet.  Which again, planet Maltus was in Universe 1, ostenstibly, which now gone, past, present and future..... How is Ryan not more injured by whatever blast Lex hit him with; you know, being nothing more than a flimsy, fragile human and all? "You left your family because someone you never even met told you you were needed" Did he though?  It's been a month, so I don't really remember the point where he was actually on board with all of this shit, but I do remember that when they first told him about the Crisis and asked him to come with them, all he wanted to do was to get back to his family.  Which is understandable. And seeing as how they spent weeks at Vanishing Point, how is it that they're only just revisiting this whole "are you sure you got the right person" thing now? Is this supposed to be their way of doing the whole sub-storyline in the comics, where Barry pops up randomly at different points in the past, trying to warn people about the impending Crisis; when he was running around the Anti-Monitor's antimatter cannon to destroy it, just before his death?  Because this is super convoluted. Wait, so Barry was tasked with just finding Olivre?  All while it was Olivre who told him what he had to do.... what the fuck is happening in this fucking episode?  It started out halfway descent; and now I have no fucking clue what is going on.  But it's pissing me off, because they're wasting a lot of time on this bullshit. This scene of Barry finding out about Olivre's deal is so fucking weird.  The way they shot it without either of them in the same frame makes it seem so disconnected. I kind of appreciate Lex's annoyed confusion that Mar somehow mistakes Lex's voice for that of his wife's.   I had to think for a second why Not-Diggle didn't recognize Barry, before remembering when Sara's death would have aligned with The Flash; and was confusing it with Laurel's death, when they definitely would have known who Barry or the Flash was. I forget though, was that scene before Barry's arrival with Jon talking to Laurel about taking up Sara's mantle one that originally happened on the show?  I swear that was a slow build up after Sara's death. Sans the blood, I've always loved how Caity Lotz looks in that original Canary costume.   I'll never understand why they tried to fix what wasn't broken. "When we were attacked...." "By the Anti-Monitor...." "Doesn't even sound like an actual name...." 🤣 Okay, that was good. How the fuck did Barry track down J'Onn during a memory he wasn't around for, let alone Kate? So first some random bald dude breaks into his lab and manages to talk some sense into him; albeit without offering any great proof that he is who he claims to be, much less prove he can actually help, but hey, he at least had the courtesy of walking through the door like a normal person.  Then someone else bursts in, tearing the door off its hinges or whatever and starts issuing threats to the (shorter) bald guy and some other random hairy dude behind her asks Mar to leave the room with him and..... he just does.... yeah, okay.  I mean, just the fact that they've gone back in time however many million years or whatever, let alone to another fucking planet without any need to address how or why Mar can understand any of them, it's pretty much just a free for all. Oh, okay; so now that Barry's side adventure has been neatly wrapped up, I guess it's time to pick up the kids from the daycare on Maltus, without so much as stopping to actually check and make sure that they completed the task they set out to do. So what, the Anti-Monitor's argument is that there are an infinite number of Monitors to do what the one Monitor they just convinced to give up on his experiment doesn't do?  And yet, by all indication, there was only the one Monitor who took his trip in the first place; otherwise there'd be an infinite fucking number of Mars who originally popped up in the antimatter universe to start with.  And I'm pretty sure that given those odds, the Anti-Monitor would have been screwed. The plan is to use the Paragons to...fan the flames to rebirth the universe or whatever, but one of the Paragons is missing and replaced by Lex; which unless by replacing Superman's name with his own somehow made Lex into the Paragon that Superman is supposed to be, their one man down of who they need. Wait, I've seen this fight sequence somewhere before......🤔

"You have failed this universe." 😐 "We focus.  A singular, laser like focus." I feel like I'm about see another familiar scene...

Somehow I just knew that the thing they were going to have to do would involve them just standing around looking serious and thinking hard.  I'm surprised they didn't just go full out Peter Pan and ask the audience to clap real hard to bring the universe back to life. This is some serious bullshit that they aren't even going to try and bring Brandon's Superman back for this climactic moment...and it's done.   Yeah, that might actually be the definition of anti-climax.  I mean, I know there's still somehow a whole fucking episode left this shit-fuckery, but man, I'm pretty sure they have to think hard to take a dump in the morning.  Jesus Christ. Yeah, right, I'm totally going to believe or care that they're suggesting that Olivre is going to die, again. So let see here, they literally killed and resurrected Olivre once within this cross-over, there's still one more episode left to this crossover; and there's still two episodes left to fucking Arrow.  So, no, not buying this.  I'm sure as hell not buying that they're going to kill Oliver fucking Queen twice without including Diggle.

[the-dj-is-asleep]

One Night: Chapter 6

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 

AO3

The wind makes it hard to talk. In fact, it makes it hard for Lena to do anything other than bury her face into Kara’s neck to avoid tearing up. So maybe Kara flies a little faster than usual on purpose. She knows that there are things that Lena wants to say and she’s not sure she wants to hear them. She's heard Lena argue for her all week. And she'd heard the way her arguments had become less and less impassioned, the way she had slowly started to concede points and let her own point of view be corrupted. Kara had hoped that Lena would stay strong, that despite all the vitriol being poured into her head by the woman she most wanted love from, she wouldn't be swayed. Clearly she had hoped in vain.

The flight to National City takes half an hour at the rate that Kara is flying. And when they arrive, Kara goes straight to Lena's apartment and deposits her on her balcony.

"I have to go to the DEO. Alex has to know I'm okay."

"Kara, wait. You know that wasn’t what I meant back there. I just meant that there are some aliens who-“

"I have to go," Kara says, not at all wanting to hear the way that sentence ends.

She takes off before Lena can say anything else. In the split second before she shuts off her super-hearing, she hears a quiet sob.

Kara walks into Lena's apartment with a will of iron and more bravery than she's ever needed as Supergirl. She'd agreed to dinner and a movie at Lena's and she knew that now was the best time to tell her. Kara had been talking herself out of it for weeks but the longer she she carried her secret, the heavier it got. And the longer she spent with Lena, the more she needed her to know. So, Kara had decided that tonight was the night.

Lena's apartment is wonderfully familiar. After spending a few nights there, as well as countless dinners and movie nights, Kara is comfortable enough to treat it as her own. So, she doesn't bother knocking, knowing that Lena left the door unlocked for her and that if Kara waits for her to open up like the did the first few times Lena will give her a look and say, "Just come in Kara. We talked about this."

The moment Kara walks in, the hair on her arms stands up. Kara feels suddenly and inexplicably on edge. The apartment is quiet except for some soft classical music playing in the background. Lena likes the peace and quiet after a long day of phone calls and board meetings. Kara can smell herbs and what is most likely chicken cooking in the kitchen. Everything seems normal in the living room, everything neatly in its place. She does her best to try and place whats wrong but nothing seems out of place at all.

It's only when Kara reaches out with her super hearing that she suddenly becomes consciously aware of what her subconscious had picked up on.  It’s Lena’s heartbeat, fast and unsteady, and now that Kara is focused on it, thunderously loud. The hair on the back of her neck stands up and something like a chill runs down her spine. She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t pause to think as she runs into the kitchen. She sees Lena tied up to her chair, gagged, with tears streaming down her cheeks. As soon as she catches sight of Kara, her eyes widen and she shakes her head violently enough that Kara hears her neck pop a little.

Kara takes a step closer and then another and as she does she hears the hum of a machine coming to life to her left. For a second, everything slows down. Kara watches Lena’s eyes widen and Kara follows her gaze down to her foot where she can see the round little red dot of a laser. She follows it back to its source and sees a box, metal and small and making a small humming noise. Before Kara can react in any way, the humming stops and is replaced by a quiet beeping, one that Kara is a little too familiar with. She doesn’t think, doesn’t hesitate at all before throwing her body in front of Lena’s to hopefully protect her from the blast.

But instead of a fiery explosion like she’d expected, Kara is met only by the soft hissing of a gas being released. She glances towards the box and immediately pales. The gas is green and glowing and when Kara makes the mistake of inhaling it burns. The nausea hits her as she exhales and she’s powerless to do anything but fall to her knees. She tries holding her breath, but the damage is largely done as the dust particulates in her lungs already threaten to make her pass out. Her body wins the battle over her mind and without meaning to she pulls in a rasping breath and groans immediately as the effects of the kryptonite take hold.

Through the pain she can vaguely hear Lena shouting something, muffled beyond any hope of comprehension by the gag. She uses the last of her strength to look at her and as she fades out, all she can see is the forest green of Lena's eyes.

Kara wakes slowly and painfully. There isn’t a single part of her that doesn’t hurt, though she finds that the hurt is definitely concentrated in her head and lungs. She doesn’t even bother trying to open her eyes knowing that unless it is pitch dark on the other side of her eyelids, it’ll be too bright. She tries to manage her breathing, to figure out whether it’s better to take short and sharp breaths or longer softer ones and finds that neither option does the trick. She feels like she should be bleeding in her lungs, her throat and all the way up to her nose. She thinks that she would check to see if she was bleeding if she didn’t have to open her eyes to do so.

“Kara?”

Lena’s voice is soft and hoarse and Kara can’t tell if she’s actually far away or if the kryptonite is dampening her hearing.

“Kara are you awake?”

Kara knows she should answer, wants more than anything to reassure Lena that she’s awake and okay, but she can’t move, can’t open her eyes, can’t do much else but breathe even when Lena lets out a soft whimper.

“I’m sorry,” she says, softly and to herself, clearly thinking Kara can’t hear her. “This is… my fault. I should have known they would come after me again. I mean, I didn’t know that you were… well, y’know, her… but I let my guard down. After Supergirl, or well, you, saved me I thought I’d be okay. And you were there, every night making sure my nightmares didn’t get to much and I’ve never been happier. So I let my guard down. I’m sorry Kara, that you were dragged into this. I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. There’s so much I wanted to tell you that I’m sure you don’t want to hear now. I was going to tell you that I-“

Whatever Lena was going to say is cut off by a door opening and two footsteps entering (one short and sharp, the other deep and heavy).

“Oh, stop sniveling Lena. That… alien… isn’t worth your tears or your words. I’ve tried telling you time and time again, but it seems that nothing will get through to you. That’s why I gave up, you know? I’d held out hope for so long that you would come to your senses like your brother did, but after that night at Lex’s cave, I saw that there really was no hope for you.”

Lillian’s voice sounds even farther away than Lena’s had but somehow her words hit more heavily. Kara finds herself trying to rage against the last dregs of kryptonite that have her essentially captive in her own body, but to no avail. No matter what she tries to do, she finds that her body won’t respond.

“You know that she won’t wake up right? The kryptonite gas we gave her was laced with a neuromuscular blocker. That was the whole point of the dust, of course. We didn't want to kill her... not yet anyway, but we couldn't figure out how to deliver the drug to her system. But then we found this device in Lex's store house and well... it took some work to figure out how to keep the drug active while airborne but we managed quite well don't you think?”

“What do you want with her?”

Lena sounds angrier than Kara’s ever heard her. She voice low and dangerous and she thinks that, had she been speaking to anyone other than Lillian, it would have worked to unnerve them a little bit. But Lillian knows her daughter to well to be affected.

“Hmmm, that’s not for you to know. You, my dear, are only here in case she does wake up. The alien seems to have a soft spot for you, lord knows why, and I believe she will be much less inclined to try and escape when you have a knife to your throat, don’t you think?”

Lena growls at her mother but then the heavy boots that Kara had associated with Henshaw move forward and there’s the cracking sound of skin on skin followed almost immediately by a whimper of pain from Lena. That in itself is almost enough to jolt Kara out of whatever weird coma Lillian has managed to put her in, but though she is itching to put herself between Henshaw and Lena, she finds herself irritatingly still.

Lillian clicks her tongue as if she’s disappointed in Lena.

“Really now dear, you should know better. Maybe it’s best if I leave you here on your own for a bit so you can learn some manners.”

She pauses as if expecting an answer but Lena remains silent so with a displeased huff, Lillian turns on heel and and marches out of the room. After the door slams shut behind them, Kara faintly hears Lena exhale in relief and then there’s a gentle hand on her sternum, and though Kara knows that it can’t actually be the case, she feels like it’s just a little easier to breathe.

“I’m so sorry Kara. But I promise you, I promise, I will find a way out of this. I won’t let them hurt you anymore.

Kara arrives at the DEO to find an exhausted Alex, J’onn, Winn, James, and Mon-El all standing around the control center with looks of utter despair. But Mon-El hears her land and he’s running to her in an instant, wrapping his arms around her shoulders in an embrace that nearly bruises her in her still somewhat weakened state. The hug doesn’t last long though because no one can stand between Alex and her little sister for long. Alex’s hug is desperate. She clutches at Kara’s shoulders, nails digging fiercely into the cloth at her shoulders. She’s crying and as Kara wraps her arms around her sister’s familiar frame, she can’t hold back the tears that prick in the corners of her eyes.

Winn, who had been shifting from foot to foot awkwardly, finally decides that he doesn’t want to be left out any longer and he all but throws himself at Kara. His arm fit awkwardly over Alex’s but his warmth is comforting and the soft words of relief he whispers against her shoulder make Kara’s heart feel like it might burst.

Of course, the warmth can only last for so long. J’onn clears his throat gently and waits until Winn and Alex step away. It’s all for nothing when James takes the opportunity to pull her in for a hug as well, the whispered words “I missed you,” all he’s able to get in before an annoyed “Mr. Olsen,” cuts him off.

“I’m done, I’m done,” he says, stepping back with his hands up in surrender and a soft smile.

“I’m glad to have you back, Kara,” J’onn says. “But we need to know what happened. So start from the beginning.”

Chapter 7

[ulyssessklein]

5 branding lessons I learned from Third Man Records

A few weeks ago I was in Nashville for the Music Biz conference. On the last day I had some time to kill before my flight home so I decided to go to Third Man Records, the studio, venue, record store, and curio shop dreamed up by Jack White.

I like The White Stripes and The Raconteurs’ music, but I’m by no means a Jack White devotee (I haven’t listened to any of his solo stuff). And yet when I stepped into Third Man Records, I had the feeling that I was entering the coolest place on earth. And leaving an hour later I felt bummed that I had to exit the coolest place on earth and go back into the real world.

So what did Third Man Records do to create that feeling in me?

It got me thinking about “branding” for musicians — and there are some great lessons to be learned from Jack White and his label/studio/store/whatever.

1. Be coherent

When you walk into Third Man you get an immediate visual impression. There’s a uniformity of presentation; it’s not exactly minimalism, but it’s simple and direct. Almost everything is YELLOW and BLACK. The record player. The gift bags. The cabinets.

This simplicity has a powerful effect, and it’s reminiscent of how The White Stripes came out of the gates in the late 90’s with a fully realized sense of visual branding: back then everything was RED and WHITE.

This visual directness is a lot like Jack White’s music, which is often reduced to its most vital elements (“vital” meaning not just important, but also alive).

I’m not suggesting that you need simple color schemes in order to be coherent in your branding, but it’s worth considering all the ways (writing, arrangement, visuals, messaging, distribution strategies) in which you can perhaps create a more immediate and clear impression.

Ask yourself: How can I communicate more directly?

2. Commit to an approach

Jack White is known for a kind of raw, wrangled, hand-made aesthetic. He’s not concerned with polish and perfection. He wants to capture moments and emotion, even if that means you see some warts.

That clearly defined and clearly articulated approach comes through in his own music, the music he produces for others, the stuff that’s recorded at Third Man and available on vinyl in the shop, and in the extra-musical elements of the store: books, posters, guitar pedals, etc.

When it comes to your own creativity, you certainly don’t need to share or adopt Jack White’s aesthetic. All I’m suggesting is that whatever approach you ARE pursuing in your art, you commit to it for a period of time: a year, an album cycle, a lifetime.

I’m as guilty as anyone of changing direction every five minutes. Oh, today I’ll record a bunch of stripped-down folk songs. Ah, nevermind. Maybe I should produce those same songs in Ableton and add a bunch of synths and beats. Hmmm, how ’bout a string quartet?

When you commit to an approach, you get stuff done. You have a standard to measure everything again. And you also have an easier time representing something larger than just your songs in the imagination of your audience.

So ask yourself: What is my approach? Can I stick with it for a while? And can I articulate it in ten seconds?

3. TRY!!!!!!!!!!!

Effort. It’s hard work. Unless you love what you’re doing.

I get the sense that the people behind Third Man absolutely love their work, whether it’s recording other artists, or creating a retail space to sell music and more. The place has character, and not by luck. It has character because of passion and lots and lots of effort.

I’ve heard that Jack White was an upholsterer before he was a band leader. That kind of attention to craft comes through in the products available at Third Man. For instance, there’s a box set of an early 20th Century record label’s catalog that is beautifully made (and you can watch a video about the whole process of crafting the packaging, mastering the music, etc.) The evident love and effort is what makes it worth the bazillion dollars they’re asking for it. Hell, I wanted to buy it and I don’t even know the music.

Musicians these days have to juggle a lot: writing, rehearsing, recording, gigging, designing, marketing, emailing, editing, and on and on — not to mention family, eating, sleeping, and other jobs. So I understand why some areas of your musical life might not get the attention they deserve. But it’s worth figuring where you’re slacking and either stepping it up or getting some help.

For instance, are you putting out songs where the lyrics are 80% of the way there, because you just want to be done with it already? Don’t. Wait. Try harder. Or find a collaborator to replace those lines that nag at your pride late at night when you’re being honest with yourself.

Not that great at videography? Save up some gig money and hire a pro. Making do with crappy drum sounds? Stop it! Watch some YouTube videos on drum miking techniques.

You get the point: try!!!! It makes a huge difference. And don’t forget that time can sometimes make up for skill, so be patient and put the time in if you don’t have the ability RIGHT NOW to bang out something masterful.

Ask yourself: where am I slacking and how can I do better?

4. Create an unforgettable experience

Third Man is an experiential place. You can pick up a guitar and play it through a custom Jack White distortion pedal. You can go into a listening booth and hear hundreds of albums recorded onsite. But for me, the whole retail setup seemed to have a centerpiece (probably not coincidentally): a vintage 1940’s recording booth.

You go in, wait for the red light to go on, and you have two minutes to sing or talk into the microphone. It then gets cut straight to vinyl. No do-overs. The little record pops out of the slot and you bring it over to the store’s player and give it a listen: your voice, in all it’s nasal and scratchy 1940’s glory.

Lots of the original text on the machine conveyed the message that this was a way to send a message home. Like an audio postcard. And once your record is cut you’re given a record sleeve that doubles as an envelope where you fill out the TO and FROM. I immediately thought of my dad who passed away last winter — and something about the carnivalesque, out-of-time-ness of the whole thing made it feel like I was being compelled to sing “Amazing Grace” (my dad’s favorite hym) to him, through the old wires, onto vinyl, and into the beyond.

Turns out I’m not alone in this compulsion. Neil Young recorded a whole album in this same recording booth, and he started the whole thing with a track where he’s just talking to his mother about life and death and missing her.

So anyway, naively I looked at the coin slot on the machine: 35 cents. Oh shit! That’s all it costs? Well, I need to go to the front desk to get change right now.

The woman working that day kindly said, “Well, I can give you change, but if you’re wanting to use the recording booth, it’s $20.” (Clearly I’m not the first confused customer asking for coins).

I didn’t miss a beat: okay, I’ll do it.

What kind of percentage markup was that in my mind? 35 cents. 20 dollars. Who cares!? In that moment, all that mattered was that I sing to my dad. I paid the $20, tearfully sang the song, and went home with a record I’m not sure I’ll ever listen to again — and it all felt life-changing.

That experience made me feel invested in Third Man as a place, made me feel involved in it, like it’s partially mine. I mean, I know that’s logically ridiculous, but emotionally speaking it made me want to be a “brand ambassador” (to use a really icky marketing term).

I shared pictures and thoughts about the experience on social media. I told my friends about it. I’m WRITING THIS BLOG POST about it. And for as long as Third Man is open, I’m sure that any time I hear someone’s headed to Nashville for a trip, it’ll be the first place I tell them to visit.

Yes, there’s a difference between a place and song, or an album, or a video, or a concert. But every song, album, video, and concert gives you the chance to create an experience.

Ask yourself: What experience do I want to create? How can I make sure to deliver it?

5. Partner up

Jack White, despite his hand-made, DIY style, didn’t actually MAKE everything you see and do at Third Man Records.

Someone else wired the circuit board for his guitar pedals; someone else crafted the wooden box for the old label catalog; and so forth.

As you’re searching for your own brand identity, or finding new ways to convey it, be on the lookout for other people, local businesses, or charities that can partner with you. If your missions are aligned, (ready for another awful buzzword?) synergy!

Ask yourself: Who can I partner with?

Bonus lesson: Be Famous (jk).

Of course Jack White has a bit of an advantage in the resources and connections department when it comes to executing well on his label, studio, venue, and retail projects. He’s got money and fame.

BUT… it’s worth remembering that he DIDN’T have those things the first time he launched a brand/band. A big part of what catapulted The White Stripes to success was the fact that an unknown Jack White — consciously or not — committed to an approach, communicated coherently, put in lots of effort and energy, created experiences, and found the right team to help him along.

You can too.

The post 5 branding lessons I learned from Third Man Records appeared first on DIY Musician Blog.