change-your-mind-au

[change-your-mind-au]

Hey guys just a quick update...so I just got back from the doctor and I've been diagnosed with Generalize Anxiety Disorder...now I know that's something no one wants to hear, but I'm now getting the proper medication for it or at least trying to so hopefully it'll help me start to feel better! I'll see if I can finish up the last chapter as soon as I can but I can't make any promises! Until then, stay tuned and I apologize for the very long delay!

[change-your-mind-au]

How the heck do you write so fast and so good?

I tend to upload so fast because I write several chapters at a time and then uploading one chapter each day hence why there's usually a delay in updating. Also thank you I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

[change-your-mind-au]

Update: hey guys I'm sorry I haven't been updating here recently but I'm trying to finish up ch 25 and then updating all the chapters. After that, I am taking a hiatus. Now I know you guys will probably be like "but Umbra you've already been gone for so long!" Well yes I have, but that was because I've been writing chapters so I can update all the chapters at once. I mean unless you guys want me to post chapters one at a time that's fine let me know.

I've also been suffering from writer's block and no motivation within chapter 25, as well as finishing up with my final semester (I took a shorter class) and with work. I've also been battling with anxiety. Now I know some of you may be like "well I suffer from anxiety too! Everyone suffers from anxiety!" but the thing is, I really do have anxiety and I've been suffering from it for 10+ years now. I don't think I've been medically diagnosed with it, but I do believe I have it since I've had it for a long time., especially since this year has not been kind to it either. I've relasped in early June (meaning it spiked up more than it usually does and lasts for a few days to a week at a time...this is how I felt when I first started developing anxiety back in my late elementary school years) mainly because of returning to work and working more during that time. I started going to therapy in early July after my doctor said going back to therapy would be a good idea (I went to therapy when I first developed anxiety).

It is October, 4 months after it first started to spike and I am doing better, but I'm still having those times where my anxiety where I just feel down, anxious, and sometimes hopeless. My therapist did say feeling hopelessness is something that does happen with anxiety every once in a while so that made me feel a little relieved.

I explain this because mental health is important to me, hence why I try to be as realistic as I can in CYM in terms of everyone's mental health especially Steven's. Sometimes I may put my own experiences in there in terms of anxiety. Noted I do not have PTSD, so I am doing some research on how that will work with Steven's PTSD (trust me his PTSD will be very important later).

So uh...yea this explains on what's been going on and all. If you have anymore questions, don't hesitate to ask me. However, I will not answer any questions or comments that show anything that berates any mental illnesses (saying this is attention seeking, saying how mental illnesses aren't real, etc), I will make a comment saying that your behavior is not ok! That is one of my pet peeves!

Anyway guys, stay healthy and safe and hopefully you'll see an update soon!😊

[change-your-mind-au]

I finished your AU within minutes and I love your writing, so I'm wondering if you have any recs until the next chapter is finished

Thank you! I'm actually gonna be uploading several chapters up until ch 25! Also I have several recommendations! I suggest looking up Disarmed, Gone Wrong, Eckhart, and @crystal-suau!

[change-your-mind-au]

Happy birthday!

Thank you so much!😁

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 18: A Terrible Discovery

Greg's P.O.V.

Priyanka led me out of Steven's room and took me down a hallway. With it being 2 in the morning, there weren't many people roaming the halls. The look on Priyanka's face made me become more nervous by the second.

I couldn't help but glance back in the direction of Steven's room. Steven...I'm so sorry. I know you're scared….I want you to be ok, but I know that'll take time. I sigh as I kept following Priyanka for a few minutes. She suddenly stops and slowly turns to me with a sigh. After a few tense moments, I sheepishly spoke up.

"So um...w-what did you want to discuss with me about?"

"There...was something I noticed during Steven's outburst."

"What is it? Was it him getting angry and then yelling at you?"

"Well...part of it. But there was something much more than that."

"What?"

Priyanka took a deep breath as if she was about to tell me bad news. That...can't be good.

"I'm having the suspicion that Steven is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...or PTSD."

My eyes went wide as she finished saying that.

"W-what?! N-nonono! How is that possible?! H-he's only 14! He shouldn't have that! W-w-what makes you think that?!"

She sighs. "Let me ask you something Greg. How often does Steven ever get angry?"

"Uh...very rarely and even then he doesn't stay angry for that long and it really isn't full on anger."

"Well...emotional outbursts like the one Steven just had is a sign of PTSD."

"B-but...maybe he was just stressed and anxious."

"Greg...did you notice the mood change as soon as I pulled out the needle?"

"H-how could I not?"

She sighs. "Well...unless Steven has had a paralyzing fear of needles, showing that type of reaction upon seeing it isn't normal."

"H-he's never been afraid of needles. I...never seen him act like that before."

"The symptoms Steven displayed are signs of PTSD. I'll have to keep an eye on him and make note of his behavior over the next few days or even weeks before I can make an official diagnosis."

I looked at the ground, trying to process what she just told me.

"There...is another thing I've noticed too," Priyanka spoke again.

I looked back at her. "What is it?"

"Have you noticed he's been...stuttering?"

"A-actually, I have...but I just assumed it was because he kinda just woke up."

"I thought so too, but I noticed that his slurred speech went away but his stutter didn't. Connie visited him today and she told me he was still stuttering. I'm thinking it could be from all the trauma he's been through and it could also be the fact that his heart stopped 3 times. The lack of oxygen to his brain during the times he stopped breathing, especially the first time, could've also messed with his speech as well. I'll have to look more in on that. But I've also noticed he tends to stutter more when he's really nervous or tense."

"So...you think it's some kind of nervous tic?"

She looks at me for a moment before giving a small shrug.

"It...could be possible yes, but as I said I want to look more in on that, as well as his behavior in terms of PTSD."

I glanced down, trying to take everything that she said in. Steven…

"I know going through this isn't easy, Greg. Steven is one of my patients yes, but I also like to check up with you too. I've seen many parents going through this type of pain with their children, and I know you're not any different. Especially since…"

She trails off and I sigh.

"I-I know...I...just want him to be ok."

"I know you do. I'm sure everyone wants him to be ok. I'm sure even after he starts to get better, I would probably suggest therapy...and also physical therapy…"

I looked down. The thought of trying to get Steven to accept help will be...a challenge to say the least. I knew physical therapy would come eventually but...still.

Something tells me he's gonna want to start walking right away. The thought of having to teach Steven how to walk again...that's just hard to think about.

"Y-yea…"

Priyanka looked at me and sighed.

"Anyway, you had a long night too. Best to try to eat or get some rest. Steven will be out for a while so you'll have some time to do one of the options. I'll check on him every now and then."

I looked down and sighed. "I...don't think I would be able to do any of those options after what just happened. I...think I just want to go back to his room."

Priyanka stared at me before laying a hand on my shoulder.

"Alright...but just let me know if anything happens, or if you want to get something to eat. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on another patient."

I slowly nodded. "Ok…"

She gave a nod back as we went our separate ways. His screams...his screams are still in my head. He sounded so...angry, terrified, confused…

Steven, I'm so sorry…

[change-your-mind-au]

happy bdayyyyy uwu

Thank you so much!😊

[change-your-mind-au]

Hey guys! It is my 21st bday today and as promised, I will do a face reveal and post chapter 18! Well here you go!😊

[change-your-mind-au]

Hey guys! I have a little surprised for you! After a little debating, I decided to do a song for this AU. It isn't an original, it's a parody of another song. I will be doing credits in a minute. But first I would like to say I'm nervous posting this since I haven't posted me singing on here before nor do I specialize in lyric writing so you may put constructive criticism, but please no hate! Anyway onto the credits

Steven Universe/Steven Universe the Movie/Steven Universe Future: Cartoon Network & Rebecca Sugar

CYM AU: me

Song: Papermoon English version by Ama Lee & dj-Jo

Anime: Soul Eater

Orignal singer: Tomoko Kawase

Instrumental: marrymetacos

Parody/inspired written lyrics: me

Parody vocalist: me

Alright! With that being said, here is the song, and the lyrics!

https://www.smule.com/p/738636256_3727205975

Lyrics

I'm falling down into this tragedy

Fighting to get in a breath

As I await for life or death

So tempting, but I can't give up on them

Fear of having to hurt them

Is a fear I don't want to see in their eyes

See them in White's control, please no

This nightmare ends

And I will save you!

I'll come there and save you from her cage

I'll travel across the stars

And break you from her mind

And then you'll be free!

If they really have this faith in me

When they're lost I'll be there

Forever by their side

Just hang in there guys I'll be there soon

Just like a diamond should

Two years have passed and I am still here on earth

Never went back to Homeworld yet

As I await impatiently

Their plan I see isn't so reliable

They are taking way too long

All while the gems on Homeworld still suffer

Why can't they really see that we

Are wasting time?!

We need to save them!

I will be there soon guys just you wait

My reason stays the same

Free from captivity

That they are in

If I raise my voice and call for them

I hope that they will hear

And answer back to me

I'll be there for you and set you free

From White's mind control!

There are times when I don't believe in me and

There are times when I feel like I'm a failure

But through all those dark times

Their words always strengthen

My devotion

I'll keep my promise!

I'll save them it is all up to me!

I'll travel across the stars

I'll give them all a sign

That it is me

I may be so panicked and afraid

Even so I won't leave

Until you're safe again

Don't worry I'll save you from her mind

My main purpose in life

Is to create the peace

And harmony

And I swear I'll never let you stay

In her own sick mind trap

Forever in the dark

We can make it through I know we can

Just like we always do!

[change-your-mind-au]

Hey guys! So Saturday will be my 21st bday and I was going to wait until I finished chapter 25 (currently on 22), but as a gift to all of you, I am going to post the next chapter! Not only that, but I will be also doing a face reveal! So keep an eye out on Saturday for that! And as always, thank you for your continuous support!😊

[change-your-mind-au]

So I've been curious and I want to hear all opinions. Out of the 17 chapters posted so far, which one is your favorite and why? Personally the first chapter is my favorite because I feel I got really descriptive with what was happening and the emotions. But I would like to hear your answers!😊

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 17: A Regretful Truth

That night, around 2:30 in the morning, Greg was sleeping on the edge of Steven's bed. Steven, of course, was sound asleep, looking a little more at peace. The conversation he had with Connie earlier that day helped him relax a little more, that by the time Greg came that weekend, he looked a bit calmer.

As Greg was soundly sleeping, Dr. Maheswaran walked in to check in on Steven once again. She looked around and saw Greg sleeping with his head in his arms at the edge of the bed. She sighed as she decided to do what she needed to do first before dealing with Greg.

She went around and did her daily routine with checking Steven's vitals and other paperwork she had to do. After she did that, she walked over to Greg and gently shook him.

"Greg? Greg," she shook him.

He silently stirred before waking up and looking up at her and slowly sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Hm...what is it?" Greg asked groggy.

"Why don't you head back home and get some proper rest?"

Greg yawned as he looked back at Steven.

"I can't...I don't want to leave him like this."

Dr. Maheswaran sighs. "He's sleeping right now. It'll be fine. He seems like he'll be alright."

Greg looked at Steven who still looked to be sleeping soundly before looking back at Dr. Maheswaran and sighed.

"No...I just can't leave him like this. What if something happened and he needs me? I just don't want to risk it. I just...I just can't."

Dr. Maheswaran only stared at Greg for a few seconds before sighing.

"Ok, but can you go get something to eat or something. I notice you haven't left the room since you got here. I'm sure you're hungry. Why don't you head down to the cafeteria and get something to eat? I'll let the night shift cafeteria lady know. I'll keep an eye on Steven until you get back, alright?"

Greg looked at her for a few moments before sighing and standing to his feet.

"Alright fine. But if anything happens, please let me know ASAP! I'll come running back up."

"I will...now go get something to eat. You can bring it back up here if you want."

Greg nods. "Alright."

He walked passed her and started to head for the door, Dr. Maheswaran watching him about to leave the room.

"Y-you...w-wanted to k-kill me…?"

Greg suddenly stopped in shock, still facing the door. Dr. Maheswaran looked back towards Steven, only to see him looking back at her with shock, confusion, and fear written all over his face.

"Steven...what are you talking about?" Dr. Maheswaran asked after a few moments.

"I…" Steven glanced back at his bed before shaking. "I...h-had some kind of m-memory…" he looked back up at her. "I...h-heard you and d-dad...y-you...you w-were asking m-my dad if y-you could p-pull the p-p-plug on me...a-and later f-finding out i-it meant...to k-k-kill...me…a-and you did it o-on...m-many occasions…"

Dr. Maheswaran stared wide eyed as she and equally shocked Greg stared back at her.

"Y-you...t-tried to k-kill me…"

"Steven I…" Dr. Maheswaran started to approach him. "That...it wasn't an option I wanted to turn to, but-."

"You...t-tried to kill m-me…"

"Steven…" Dr. Maheswaran reached out towards him.

"Don't...TOUCH ME!" Steven suddenly screams out in rage and fear, glaring at Dr. Maheswaran. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME! H-HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! HOW COULD YOU HAVE SO LITTLE FAITH IN ME!"

"Steven please...I never wanted to go with that option but-."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SUGGEST IT?! WHY DID YOU SUGGEST IT TO MY DAD SO MANY TIMES?!"

At this point, Steven had tears streaming down his face.

"St-Steven please...try to calm down and lower your voice," Greg tried this time. "There are other people slee-."

"NO! SHE TRIED TO KILL ME! SHE TRIED TO KILL ME! HOW COULD SHE EVEN THINK OF THAT?! DOES SHE HATE ME?!"

"Steven...no that isn't it at all."

Steven was about to start up again when he looked at Dr. Maheswaran again. Dr. Maheswaran was rummaging through something on the counter and eventually grabbed what she was looking for.

"SHE WANTED TO KILL ME DAD! HOW COULD YOU-?!" 

Dr. Maheswaran turned around to face Steven, revealing a needle in her hand. The anger that Steven was feeling just a moment ago immediately vanished and replaced with pure terror. Steven's eyes were wide and immediately started to hyperventilate.

"N-NO! NONONONONO! G-GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME! D-D-DON'T LET IT T-TOUCH ME! N-NO! H-HELP ME! D-DON'T GET ANY C-CLOSER!"

As Dr. Maheswaran started to get closer, Steven started to panic to no end and started thrashing around and backing away, keeping his eyes glued to the needle.

"Steven-."

"GET AWAY!" N-NO!"

Dr. Maheswaran stopped slightly before looking at Greg, who was still staring at the scene in shock and fear.

"Greg!" she snaps, causing Greg to gasp and look at her. "Help me with him! I'm gonna need you to hold him down!"

"W-what?!"

"He isn't going to stop thrashing around! He can potentially end up hurting himself! I need you to hold him down so I can get this sedative in!"

Greg stared at Dr. Maheswaran in fear and then at Steven. After about a moment, he complied and quickly rushed over to Steven, grabbing a strong hold of his shoulder. Steven flinched before looking back at Greg in fear.

"D-dad!" he looked back at Dr. Maheswaran. "NO! S-STOP! DON'T HURT ME! D-DAD PLEASE! D-DON'T LET HER HURT M-ME! DON'T LET HER K-KILL ME! P-PLEASE!"

Greg tried his hardest to keep himself together as he held his son. He eventually grabbed his son's arm that Dr. Maheswaran was about to put the needle in. As she got closer, Steven continued to thrash around begging and screaming for her to stop. She wasted no time to run over and injected the needle in Steven's arm.

Steven screaming full voice as he started thrashing around twice as before while hyperventilating, occasionally glancing at his arm.

"N-NO! NOT AGAIN! P-PLEASE! N-NO! D-D-DAD! I...I DON'T WANT TO D-DIE! D-DON'T LET H-HER K-KILL ME! P-PLEASE!"

Steven continued thrashing and screaming for about 3 minutes before his body started to give into the sedative. This left him panting from the screaming and silently crying. He looked up at Greg as his pleas became softer.

"D-dad...please...d-don't let her...h-hurt me...d-don't let her...k-kill me...p-please dad...p-please...d-don't…"

His eyes were drooping as he looked at Greg with a dazed look, but Greg could still see the fear in his eyes.

"D-dad...pleeeaassseee…" he let out a whisper.

And then Steven was out. Greg only stared at his unconscious son for a few moments before he collapsed to his knees and started sobbing.

"He...he thought he was gonna...S-Steven I'm sorry...I'm so sorry…!"

He continued to sob until Dr. Maheswaran kneeled down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. He continued to sob as Dr. Maheswaran tried to comfort him the best she could. After a little while, Greg managed to pull himself together and was helped to his feet.

"Feeling a little better?" Dr. Maheswaran asked.

Greg nodded. "A-a little…"

Dr. Maheswaran sighs. "That's good. Come on, let's let him rest. There's...something else I needed to discuss with you anyway."

Greg looked at Dr. Maheswaran worried, but slowly nodded as the two of them left the room, Greg looking at Steven one more time before following her out.

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 16: A Calming Conversation 

A few hours later, Dr. Maheswaran finally got off her shift and headed home. It was around 9:10am by the time she got home and let out a sigh as she walked in. Upon hearing the door opening, Connie quickly came down the stairs to see her mother standing at the door.

"Mom!" she finished running down the stairs and approached her.

"Hey Connie. Sleep well?"

"Well yea...more or less. But um...h-how's Steven? Is he ok?"

"He's ok. He woke up in the middle of the night, but because of the sedative, he was a little out of it and didn't really stay awake for too long."

"O-oh…"

"And I also told him everything that happened with him."

"What?! Why would you do that?"

"He has the right to know what happened to him. He was going to know at some point anyway so it was best to tell him sooner rather than later. Besides, he was under sedatives so he wouldn't have been too panicked and freaked out by it."

"I...guess you do have a point. I just worry about him. I want him to be ok."

Dr. Maheswaran put a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"I know you do. We all want him to be ok, but these things take time."

"I...I know. But...would it be ok if I see him today? I really want to check on him...and apologize for running out yesterday."

"Of course you can. Dr. Eleanor will be in charge of Steven today so I'll let him know you're coming to visit."

Connie smiles. "Thanks mom!"

She smiles. "You're welcome. Now I'm gonna get some sleep. You should be able to visit him in an hour or two."

"Ok!" Connie's face lit up as she went to go make some breakfast.

Dr. Maheswaran sighed as she walked up to her bedroom, only to be met with her husband putting on a tie, ready to go into work himself.

"Oh...I'm sorry I didn't know you were still here," Dr. Maheswaran says.

"No no it's fine," Mr. Maheswaran said as he walked up and gave her a peck on the cheek. "How was work?"

"Same as usual, you know," Dr. Maheswaran shrugged.

"So...how's Steven? Connie came home saying he finally woke up, but had a panic attack."

"Yea well...he woke up in the middle of the night but seemed a bit out of it by the sedative I put him under. He was still out when I left."

"Well...at least he's awake now."

"That's true, but he still has a long way to go in terms of recovery. He'll probably be in the hospital for quite some time."

"Yea...wouldn't be surprised by that."

"But there is something I noticed yesterday. Connie seems to have a calming effect on Steven. I noticed how relaxed he became when he saw her yesterday. Maybe talking to Connie is what Steven needs...especially since what happened yesterday."

"Yea."

Dr. Maheswaran yawns. "Anyway, I'm going to shower and then get some sleep. I have another shift tonight."

"Of course," Mr. Maheswaran nods. "I'll let you get to it then."

Dr. Maheswaran nods as Mr. Maheswaran leaves the room.

About two hours later, Connie headed to the hospital. She met up with Dr. Eleanor and he lead her to Steven's room. When Connie reached his room, he was looking down at his bedsheets while fiddling with his thumbs. The breathing mask was once again off his face.

He let out a sigh and looked up when he heard the door open. His eyes widen when he saw her walking in.

"C-Connie!"

Connie smiled slightly at him as she walked in.

"H-hey Steven!"

She continued to walk over until she was sitting in the chair next to Steven.

"So uh...how are you feeling?" Connie asked hesitantly.

"I-I'm...well, ok. But t-that's not important! H-how are you d-doing? I'm...I'm s-sorry I scared y-you…"

She could tell he was already tense. If she were to tell him she's been having breakdowns and going to therapy, she could chance him either blaming himself, or worse, send him into another panic attack.

"Oh, I'm doing alright," she couldn't help but chuckle. "But I'm not the one in a hospital bed."

Steven couldn't help but weakly chuckle himself.

"Well I g-guess you do have a p-point there. So uh...d-do you know how e-everyone else is d-doing?"

"They're doing ok. Lars actually came back to earth a week after...well you know."

Steven smiled hearing the news about Lars.

"R-really?! Does t-that mean the O-Off Colors are w-with him?!"

Connie chuckled. "Yea! They were helping Bismuth, Peridot, and Lapis help plan to go back to-!"

Connie stopped, her eyes widened at what she was saying. However, Steven's smile disappeared from his face and he went back to looking at his sheets again.

"I-I'm...I'm sorry. T-t-this is my fault…"

"No it isn't," Connie tried reassuring him.

Steven looked back up at her, tears starting to form.

"I-if I didn't g-get hurt to begin w-with, th-this wouldn't have happened! If I d-didn't suggest g-going to H-Homeworld, we w-wouldn't be in t-this situation!"

Steven avoided eye contact as tears started to drop on his bed. Connie gently laid a hand on Steven's shoulder, causing him to look back up at her.

"Steven, this isn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself for this. You couldn't have known this would happen. Besides, the important thing is that you're alive. We're going to get them back, so try not to stress over it, ok?"

Steven glanced down and sighed.

"T-that's gonna be hard but...I-I'll try…"

Connie smiles slightly. "That's good."

"So uh...a-anything else happened while I was o-out?"

"Not really. Life's been normal...well, as normal as things could be. Missing you, you know."

Steven rubs the back of his head. "Y-yea. But I-I'm just glad you're s-safe."

Connie softly smiles. "Yea...and I'm glad you're ok. I know you still have a long way to go, but we'll get through this together."

"Yea!"

Connie leaned over carefully as if to hug him, which Steven allowed. They both shared a hug before continuing to talk about other things.

Connie was relieved to see Steven and even laugh a little. Compared to the other day, he seemed much happier and cheerful today. Despite the few occasions he winced from pain, he still seemed to be in a better mood.

Connie loved seeing Steven in this mood, but knows he had a long way to go in terms of recovery.

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 15: The Explanation 

It was about 3am. Dr. Maheswaran was in a station area filling out some paperwork for a patient. She sighed as she finished it before straightening them up. She put them in a folder before looking at the time. 2:49am. Perhaps she should go check on Steven to see how he's doing.

"Dr. Maheswaran!" a voice called behind her.

She turned around to see Dr. Randy walked down the hallway to meet her.

"Oh, Dr. Randy hello."

"Hey, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Well I just finished paperwork for Mr. Franklin. Now I'm going to go check on Mr. Universe."

"Isn't that the kid who was stabbed in the stomach?"

"Yea...he is."

Dr. Randy sighs. "It still baffles me who would do such a thing to a young boy."

"It's...complicated. Anyway, I should head to his room."

"Of course," Dr. Randy nods.

Dr. Maheswaran continued her way into Steven's room. She walked in to see Steven still lying unconscious in his bed. She sighed as she walked up to him to take some of his vitals before going to check on some of his paperwork. She couldn't help but think about what happened after Steven had his panic attack. Also how her daughter fled out of the room and how she had to comfort her afterwards.

Dr. Maheswaran walked out of the room to find her daughter. She wanted to see if her daughter was ok before going back to her work. As she walked down the hall, she found Connie in a small and empty waiting room. She was still shaking and continuing to cry, not aware of her mother in the room yet.

"Connie?"

Connie flinched slightly as she looked up at her mom, tear filled eyes widening in shock.

Mom! I...I-I'm really sorry I ran out like that! I...I just...I couldn't! I couldn't s-see him like that again!"

Dr. Maheswaran walked over and sat next to her daughter.

"Hey, it's ok. It's natural to be scared like that. Especially…" she stops and sighs. "Steven's father wasn't better off either. He was crying hysterically. I think Bismuth...her name was I think...had to hold him back and also comfort him. I couldn't help but empathize with him."

"What?" 

"Just...having to see your child like that. I couldn't imagine what would've happened if you were in Steven's position."

"But...I…"

"Don't get me wrong, Steven doesn't deserve to be in this position either. When you came to the hospital, I was relieved to see you were ok...well, physically. But I could tell mentally…" she sighs. "Let's just say I can empathize with Greg in terms of being a parent."

"Oh…" Connie looks back down. "I-I'm sorry…!

"Connie, none of this was your fault. You couldn't have known this would happen."

"Yea...but-."

Suddenly, Dr. Maheswaran pulled Connie into a hug.

"I...may not know exactly what you're going through or what you saw, but your father and I will be here for you."

Connie only stared in shock for a few seconds before giving in and crying her eyes out shaking and hugging her mother back. Dr. Maheswaran hugged her all the time Connie needed. She only wanted both Connie and Steven to get through this together.

Dr. Maheswaran was continuing to check some of Steven's paperwork. She was looking over and writing down on some of them. The only thing that was keeping the room from being quiet, was the sound of the heart monitor going off every 2 or 3 seconds. 

A little bit later, she finished writing the paperwork and went towards Steven to check on his vitals again. As she went to do so, Steven suddenly began to stir. She pulled her hand back a little as she witnessed this. Steven groaned and stirred for a few seconds before opening his eyes a little. 

He stared at the ceiling with glazed over drooped eyes. He looked exhausted and completely out of it as he stared at the ceiling. She looked at her watch for the time. 3:10am. She wasn't expecting him to wake up until at least later this morning. But that didn't matter.

"Steven?"

Steven's head tilted slightly towards her with his eyes half open. He only stared at her. Dr. Maheswaran sighs as her voice went more gentle.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

Steven only blinked at her as if he didn't hear her.

"Steven?" 

He once again blinked and stared at her for a few moments. After those few moments he spoke.

"C-Con'ie's...m-mooommmmm?" his voice was weak and slurred.

"Yes it's me," Dr. Maheswaran still spoke gently. "How are you feeling?"

Steven looked around for a moment before back at her.

"Ti'rrrrrdddd," he says back.

"I figured as much. Steven, do you remember anything from earlier?"

"Mmmm...r-remembbberrr n-not be'ng able t-to br'eaaatthhhhhh…"

"That's right."

Steven stares for a few seconds before his eyes widen slightly and starts trying to sit up.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Dr. Maheswaran was quick to grab his shoulders and gently lay him back down. "Don't sit up. You're still injured. You're under several sedatives so you would be more calm, but you could still get stressed." 

Steven glances down and lets out a sigh.

"I-I'm...s-sorrrryyyy...I d-d-didn't m-meaaannn to…"

Dr. Maheswaran shakes her head. "No it wasn't your fault. It was clear you weren't ready to hear information like that."

Steven looked down for a moment before looking back up at her.

"W-what...ha'ened to m-meeee? Y-you s'id I w-was in a...c-c-commmmaaa b-but...no'hing elssseee."

Dr. Maheswaran frowned as if debating rather to tell him everything that happened. She knew she couldn't wait too long to tell him, but she knew what his reaction would be. 

Then again, Steven was under a lot of medications that would keep him calm down...so if anything, Steven would less likely to have another panic attack once she told him what happened. She took a deep breath and looked at him.

"Ok, you deserve to know what happened. So...first off, do you remember anything that happened to you in the time of the incident?"

"U-ummm...th-the on'y thing I re-re-rememmmbbberrr, i-is the p'in sl-slightly a-annnnddd C-C-Conn'e...h-her f-face…"

Dr. Maheswaran looked at Steven and sighed.

"Yea...she was worried about you. Well, this isn't really an easy thing to say, but...your heart stopped on the way to the hospital."

Steven's eyes widened as his heart monitor spiked up slightly.

"W-wha?!"

"Hey hey, try and calm down, " she laid a hand on his shoulder, which thanks to the sedative, calmed him down almost immediately. "Bismuth and Connie helped restart your heart. It was stopped for a few minutes so there wasn't any lasting damage to your brain. However, your heart...did stop two more times during a 10 hour surgery…"

Steven's eyes widen again looking a little freaked out, but the sedative didn't allow him to freak out too much.

"H-how...h-h-how l'nngggg was I o-o-ooouuutttt?"

She sighs. "3 months."

"W-what?! But….but…"

"That's everything you need to know in terms of your state. Your father has been by your side mainly everyday since he was allowed to see you."

"I-I'm s'rry…I didn't me'n toooooo-."

"Don't be. This isn't your fault. What's important now is that you're awake and now you can properly recover."

"I c-c-can heaaalllll m'self…"

"I don't think your healing powers can fully heal this. The damage was pretty severe. Besides, the wound was pretty close to your wound, so your gem might've taken some damage even though it wasn't damaged physically."

"B-but I-."

"Steven…" Dr. Maheswaran sighs. "I just don't want you rushing this recovery even if your...gem powers somehow managed to heal your wound. Your body has been through a lot of trauma already as it is."

"B-but…"

Steven's eyes began to droop again as it looked like he was fighting to stay awake. Dr. Maheswaran noticed this and frowned.

"You can use more rest through."

"...'m…'m f'ne…"

"Steven, please just get some more rest. We can talk more about this later. Your father isn't the only one who's worried about you, you know."

Steven only stared at Dr. Maheswaran for a few seconds before his body gave out on him and forced him to fall back asleep. Dr. Maheswaran sighed as she rubbed Steven's forehead.

"You may not be my son, but I care about you like you are. Just please try to take time with this recovery alright?"

She sighs as she finishes her paperwork and leaves the room. She knew when she gets back for her next shift, she'll have a lot more to do with Steven.

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 14: A Dire Situation 

Steven's eyes widen as the words left Bismuth's mouth about the gems. His breath hitched in his throat as he continued to stare.

"W-what?!" Steven managed out.

Bismuth sighs. "You...were badly injured, Steven. We didn't really have time to try and find a way to save them at that moment. We...had to save you because...well you were bleeding out."

Steven continued to stare in shock as he looked down at his bedsheet.

"S-so...t-t-this is m-my f-f-faaauullllttt…"

Lapis's eyes widen."N-no it isn't. This isn't your fault."

"I-I...d-did this…" Steven muttered as if he didn't hear her.

Peridot looked at Steven, suddenly getting the bad feeling.

"Steven?"

"I...d-did t-t-thiiisss…"

Steven's breath started to quicken as he continued to stare at his bed sheets and grabbed his head, his eyes wide with panic. The heart monitor started speeding up at an alarming rate, which caused everyone's worry and panic to spike.

"St-Steven!" Connie exclaims.

Steven continued to hyperventilate and struggling to desperately get a good breath in.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry! I...I d-d-didn't mean t-to!" Steven gasped out. "Th-this is m-my f-f-fault!"

Everyone looked at him in worry and panic as Connie once again tried to reassure him, tears started to fill her eyes.

"St-Steven! I-it isn't your fault!"

He continued to hyperventilate, tears starting to stream down his face at this point, now sounding desperately to catch a breath. 

"I-it's my f-f-fault! T-they're g-g-gone! M-my f-fault! I'm s-s-sorry!" Steven muttered again.

With every gasp, Steven panics more as he got more desperate to get a breath in. He continued to mutter under his breath as he continued to gasp for air.

Greg suddenly ran to his bed and grabbed Steven's shoulder, which caused him to gasp and look at him wide eyed.

"Steven please! Breathe! It...it's ok! This isn't your fault!"

Steven continued to stare as he continued to gasp for air. Suddenly, his eyes started to glaze over as his eyelids started to flutter between open and close. His face started to look more blank as he continued to hyperventilate, and looking more out of it by the second.

"Steven!" Greg's voice cracked as he desperately tried getting his son's attention.

Steven started to heavily sway back and forth as he stared at nothing in particular, his breathing only getting worse.

"Steven! Nononononono! Please! Stay awake! Stay with me! Please!"

Steven rocked back and forth for a few more seconds before his eyes rolled on the back of his head and he fell back onto his bed.

The room suddenly went silent for a few moments as Greg's eyes widen trying to process what just happened. Tears formed in his eyes, and that's when he proceeded what had just happened.

"No…" he muttered before going into full panic mode and started desperately shaking his son. "Nonononono! Steven! STEVEN! P-PLEASE! WAKE UP! PLEASE! I...I JUST GOT YOU BACK! I CAN'T LOSE YOU AGAIN! PLEASE! O-OPEN YOUR EYES! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T DIE ON ME!"

"GREG, STOP!" Dr. Maheswaran, who's been trying to get some medications ready, runs in and had to physically pull Greg back by his shoulders. "You're only going to hurt him! A few more seconds and you could've ripped out his stitches!"

Greg stared in shock at what she just said, and Dr. Maheswaran made a mental note to talk more to him about this later. For now she had to focus on Steven. 

She quickly turned to the boy, who's facial expression was a mix between pain and panic. His eyes were clenched up as he continued to gasp with each breath. His skin was also pale and clammy as well. She knew in his current condition, the only way to calm him down was a sedative.

"Steven, can you hear me?" Dr.Maheswaran asked in a calm voice, but got no response.

She figured as much as she sighed and quickly rushed to grab the oxygen mask to put back on Steven. Greg stared in shock at this before starting to run over.

"N-no! Stop-wha...hey!" as Greg ran over, Bismuth grabbed ahold of him and held him back. "Bismuth, let go of me! He...he needs me! I can't leave him! Let me go!"

"Greg, I know it's painful to see him like this, but we need to let Connie's mother take care of this."

"No! I can't leave him! Let me go!"

Connie watched the scene unfold in front of her and all she could do was stand there wide eyed and shaking. She just witnessed her mother pull out the same oxygen mask she just pulled off of him just a short time ago. Tears started to form in her eyes as she witnessed her best friend suffering again and struggling to breathe on his own.

She couldn't do it...she couldn't watch this happening again. With tears streaming down her face, Connie turned and ran out the door. Peridot and Lapis saw Connie run out, but they were too in shock to really move or process what was happening.

Meanwhile, Greg was on his knees at this point shaking and crying. Bismuth was kneeling next to him trying to comfort him the best he could.

"N-not again...please…!" Greg sobbed.

"Greg...I-I'm sure he'll be ok," Bismuth looked up at Dr. Maheswaran looking a bit worried.

Dr. Maheswaran finished adjusting Steven's oxygen before running over and grabbing a needle.

"I'll have to sedate him in order to calm him down. He's unconscious so this is the only way to calm him down."

She looked to Greg who looked tearful at her.

"J-just please...h-help him...!"

Dr. Maheswaran nods. "Alright."

She started to go over and about to insert the sedative, when she looked down and noticed something.

"Greg...I think when you shook him, you pulled out one of his IVs."

"W-what?!"

Dr. Maheswaran sighed. "It's alright I'll just reattach it. Just please don't shake him again ok? We don't want him to get more hurt than he already is."

Greg only stared horrified before staring at the ground again. Dr. Maheswaran reattached Steven's IV into his arm before injecting the needle into the IV. 

Steven continued to breath unevenly as his heart monitor continued to increase. Dr. Maheswaran frowned at him as she continued to try to get him to calm down. She watched as his pain filled face failed to calm down. She sighed as she continuously checked his monitors and checked to see if the sedative was actually working. Although even in a panic attack, it could take a while for Steven to calm down even with the sedative.

It took about 20 minutes for Steven to completely calm down as his breathing became more even again. His face wasn't exactly peaceful looking, but it didn't look panicked or painted anymore. However, even in his sleep, he still looked completely and utterly exhausted. Dr. Maheswaran sighed as she looked at everyone.

"He's ok now, but he's going to be out for a while."

Greg's eyes widen. "A...a while?! How long is a while?!"

"Probably a few hours."

"Probably?!"

Dr. Maheswaran sighed. "Yes. I can't tell exactly when he'll wake up, but certainly not 3 months. When he wakes up, he'll probably be out of it because of the sedative so it's probably best if you guys leave. He'll need some rest."

Everyone looked at each other before sighing.

"Alright," Greg said looking towards the others.

The others slowly nod as they start to leave the room, Bismuth having her arm around Greg as to comfort him. After they left, Dr. Maheswaran sighed before looking back at Steven.

"I'm sorry to have to do that to you, but you had to calm down. We can't afford your heart stopping again. I'll come check on you in a bit. There's something I have to do."

Steven didn't respond...not that she was expecting him to. With a sigh, Dr. Maheswaran went out to find her crying daughter.

[change-your-mind-au]

First of all. Wow! Second. What was on his face?

It's a breathing mask but because Steven hasn't been in the hospital and doesn't know all the equipment, he doesn't know what it is. That will actually be clarified in the next chapter.

[change-your-mind-au]

Ch 13: Drowning 

Steven's P.O.V.

…

…

…

...w-where am I…? Why...is everything so dark? I...I don't know what's going on…

Beep...beep.

What...is that noise? Is it...my head beeping? I...I don't know...what's going...on…

I just feel like...I need to...get out of this darkness…a-are my eyes even...open? I don't think...they are…

All I have to do...i-is open them right? Would I be...out of the darkness then? I...can try to.

I started to try and move...my eyelids and...I think I was right. My eyes are closed…

I suddenly hear...a voice but...I can't make out...who that was...who was it…? I have to...open my eyes...I have to…

I keep squinting...my eyes as I...start trying to open them. The voice started...to speak again...as I made my way...to open my eyes.

I tried...and I tried...and I tried...until finally...I was able to open them up. Once I do...everything is just...m-mixed in...in one big blur.

What's...going on...where...am I…? I don't...remember...how I got...to this place...whatever it is…

I slightly feel something grab my hand...I think...it was my hand. I turned my head over...to see a blur that stood out...from the rest of the blurry room. Kind of like...a person.

I once again heard...a voice but it was muffled. W-where...am I? I turned my head as my vision...continued to be a blur. I feel...weird. I feel...dizzy. I…

"...ven…!"

I blinked slowly as I...slowly turned to the voice again. My vision started to clear a bit...but it was still blurry.

"...ven...ar...e…?"

W-who is that...I...I can't tell. Why...what is going on…? What is-?

Suddenly, my stomach felt like it was hit by a bus and I gasp loudly as I start to sit up, my senses suddenly snapping into focus.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down kiddo!"

I felt hands gently grab my shoulders and push me softly back down, and that's when the pain slowly started to stop. I looked back up and realized that blurry figure was my dad.

"D-dad…?" my eyes widened at how weak my voice was.

He softly smiles at me. "H-hey Schtu-ball."

I go to say something else, when I notice there's something on my face. My eyes trailed down to the thing on my face. 

Wait...what is this?! What's this on my face?! I took a look around the room again and noticed some wires attached to me. My eyes widen at this as I frantically tried to rip the thing off my face.

Oh gosh! I'm trapped! Get this thing off of me! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!

"W-whoa! Easy there," dad said before he gently went to grab my hand but I flinched slightly. "It's ok. You're in the hospital right now."

"H-h-hosss...pital?" I forced out.

"Yea...where sick people go. Also please try not to talk too ok? Sounds like trying to speak is draining you already."

I looked at him and realized something. As I was about to ask, I gasped as that grinding pain came back to my stomach, and I couldn't help but curl.

"Steven! O-ok hang on."

I looked over my shoulder to see dad pick up some kind of remote and pressing a button.

"It's alright. Connie's mom will be here soon."

I looked at him, and forced my question out.

"H-h-how'ssss….C-C-Connie…? I-i-is sh-sheeee...o-k-k-kay?"

Dad looked at me a little surprised but then sighs, shaking his head slightly.

"Don't worry. She's ok and she's safe. Right now, we need to worry about you. You're what's important right now kiddo."

I look up, ready to say something, when I see Connie's mom come in and she looks over at me and looks shocked.

"Oh Steven, you're finally awake," she walks over to me quickly. "How do you feel?"

"I-I f-feeeeeeelllll...w-weird…"

She looks at me with a frown.

"Seems like you have a stutter and slurred speech. Don't worry, you just woke up from a coma so it should only be temporary."

My eyes widen. "A c-c-coommaaaa?!"

I've been stuck in a coma?! I've been asleep this whole time worrying everyone?!

"Y-yes, but try and stay calm," Connie's mom laid a hand on my shoulder. "The important thing now is that you're awake."

I looked up at her. "H-how l-loonng?"

She looked at me and sighed, deciding to avoid my question.

"Let me check your vitals."

She goes over and checks my heart rate, pulse, and other things I'm not even sure what she checks. After a few minutes, she looks at me and backs up.

"Well your vitals are as normal as they could be. Now then, do you feel any pain?"

I bit my lip as I was tempted to not worry her and tell her I was ok, but the look on dad's face tells me otherwise.

"E-everything...h-hurrrrtttsss...m-m-mainly my st-stommmaaaccchhh…"

She sighs. "Well that's normal. After all the physical trauma you've been through I would've been surprised if you weren't. I could probably find you some pain killers or something to help ease the pain," she comes over and gently takes off the thing that was on my face. "I'll keep this nearby in case you need it, but I'm gonna see how you do without it for a while," she looks at dad. "I'm going to go call Connie and tell her that Steven's awake. If anything happens, please let me know immediately."

Dad nods. "Got it!"

She gives a nod before leaving the room. He looks back at me and sits in the chair next to my bed.

"I'm...really glad to see you're awake kiddo."

I look down. "I-I'm...s-s-sorrrryyy I w-worried y-yoouuu."

He smiled softly at me. "Hey, don't worry about it. The important thing is you're awake now."

"Y-yea...I g-g-guess sooooo."

"You'll be ok," he smiles.

I looked down for a second before back at him.

"D-dad?"

"Yea?"

"S-s-she said t-thaaattt...I was in a c-c-coma...h-how looonnnnggg w-was I o-o-ooouuutttt?"

He sighs and glances down.

"A...a while, Steven. A long while…"

My eyes widen. "L-like a y-year?!"

"Oh no no not that long don't worry," he sighs. "That...can be something we can talk about later. You just woke up so it's best if you don't have all the information at once right now."

I looked at him before glancing down at the sheets.

"I-I'm s-sorrrryyyy…"

"Hey hey, no need to apologize. This isn't your fault."

I looked back up at him, and that's when we started talking. A little bit later, Connie's mom came back in and looked at me.

"Hey Steven, you have some visitors."

I looked at her. "O-ok."

She turned around and it looked like she was motioning something as people started to come in. Who came in was Bismuth, Lapis, Peridot, and...Connie. My eyes widen when I saw Connie and felt a sense of relief to see she was ok. She looked back at me, her eyes widen as she started to slowly come over towards me.

"St-Steven…"

I smiled at her. "H-hey Connniiiieee. I'm glad to s-see you're okaaaaayyyy."

"Me?" she lightly chuckles. "I'm not the one in a hospital bed."

I chuckle back. "Well I-I'm a little d-disappoinnntteeddd you d-didn't get me floowwweeerrrrsss."

She chuckled while the room went silent and dad was looking at me in shock. I looked at him wide eyed, having the feeling I did something wrong.

"W-w-what? D-did I do s-something w-wrrroonnnggg?! I-I-I'm s-sorrrryyyy!"

He shakes his head. "Y-you didn't do anything wrong kiddo. It's just...do you remember hearing anything while you were unconscious?"

I looked at him feeling a little nervous.

"N-n-no I d-doonnn'ttt. I-I'm sorrrryyyy I…"

"No, it's ok," Greg looked at Connie's mom.

She looked a little shocked herself as she looked like she was thinking for a moment.

"It could be possible that Steven did hear you at some point in his coma but wasn't aware of it, and his brain absorbed that information unconsciously."

Dad looked back at me and gave me a reassuring smile.

"It's alright kiddo. What you said just caught me by surprise that's all."

I slowly nodded at him before looking over at the Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot, and they were looking at me with a smile. I looked at them before realizing it was just them. Where were the others?

"H-hey guy? W-w-where arrreeeee P-Pearl, Ametthhhyyysssstttt and G-G-Garnet?"

Their smiles disappeared as they looked at each other. I felt more nervous just seeing the shifts in their mood.

"G-guys?"

They looked at me before Bismuth took a breath and looked at me.

"Steven...please listen to me carefully. The others they...they're still on Homeworld...still mind controlled by White Diamond."

My eyes widened as my breath hitched in my throat.

"W-what?!"

She sighs. "You...were badly injured, Steven. We didn't really have time to try and find a way to save them at that moment. We...had to save you because...well you were bleeding out."

I stared in shock as I glanced down.

"S-so...t-t-this is m-my f-f-faaauullllttt…"

"N-no it isn't," Lapis tried to reassure me. "This isn't your fault."

"I-I...d-did this…" I muttered.

"Steven?" I hear Peridot ask.

"I...d-did t-t-thiiisss…"

Suddenly, it was really hard to breath as I struggled to get a breath in. W-what is this?! Why can't I breathe?! H-help! I can barely make out the sound of the beeping getting faster as I find it more difficult to breathe! 

"St-Steven!"

Help...help me! I-I'm drowning! I can't breathe!

"I-I'm s-s-sorry! I...I d-d-didn't mean t-to!" I muttered out. "Th-this is m-my f-f-fault!"

I can't breathe! I'm drowning! Someone please...help me!

"St-Steven!" the voice sounded so distant, but I couldn't make out who it was. "I-it isn't your fault!"

I can't….I can't breathe! Someone help me! Help! Help me! The tears are streaming out of my eyes. This is my fault! They're gone because of me! I can't breathe! I'm drowning! I'm dying! Help!

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my shoulder and I gasp as I looked up, my vision suddenly blurry and my hearing starting to ring. I can see the person's lips moving barely, but I can't see...I can't hear.

I can't breathe! I can't...I can't...I can't...help me! Someone please...help...help...help...me...I can't...everything is...getting so blurry…

Everything is getting...so...dark…