#like hello. am i going nuts over here. did i read or remember the post wrong

[cerealmonster15]

im haunted by a post im p sure i circulating around here once that was like ‘dont use adverbs in ur writing’ or something. like i could be remembering that super wrong but i remember being So Fucking Thrown Off. like wat da hell do u mean dont use adverbs. what do u think they r there for.

[sometimesrosy]

The 100 Rewatch 2023 Liveblog 1.08

Day Trip

Oh boy! The memories. This is the beginning of Bellarke for me.

We are going to post like men here. No editing. Forgive my typos. I touch type as i go and i may be fast but i'm not that accurate. I will remember to do a read more this time though. Because this is long.

We open with beefcake Lincoln strung up for torture. Honestly. That's rude. It's not sexy just because he's hot.

Miller told the dead kids parents the news that their kids were murdered by grounders. He wants "justice." and Bellamy says they're not killing him. Miller is an ass and puts mud on lLincoln and Lincoln headbutts him. LOL.

Talking to the Ark they want Clarke to find an emergency shelter for supplies. Diana Sydney is like nah. We're about to come down, the baby kids should stay put. Now Jaha is trying to get Clarke back with her mom but she blames him for betraying her dad, too.

Oh Dax is going to talk to "his parents" and it's Shumway to proposition him into murder. Just like he did Bellamy. But this time he wants B dead. Dax already beat a man to death. He's one of the murderers they talked about.

Now B and O are arguing about Lincoln. B is calling him an animal. Knock that off, kid.

Clarke wants to take Bellamy for the supply run at the depot. And he's suspicious. "I don't feel like being around anyone I actually like." Which he gets because hello Octavia.

Jasper and MOnty with grim humor. Don't worry about the grounder revenge. Byt the time they get here we'll be dead of hypothermia.

Ugh Clarke and Finn being all "I'll take care of you." ANd Raven is right there. "She's a big girl she can take care of herself." Then in comes Bellamy. ooh Finn is jealous. Bellamy is taking all the rations and Clarke is suspicious. "A lot can happen in a day." Foreshadowing. Sneaky Dax follows them out of the camp.

Miller goes to talk to Roma's parents and O sneaks up to Lincoln. She gives him water. Neat little canteen made out of what? Parachute? more beefcake as she cleans up his washboard abs and he is like smelling her or whatever. Y'all I don't like kidnapping/torture as a start to a romance. But this is better than most because he originally kidnapped her to keep her safe and she's trying to stop the torture.

He tells her his name because he wants her to remember him after he dies. "This only ends one way." Because he IS the enemy.

Clarke and Bellamy in the woods. I remember this. Bellarke in the wild. Bellamy is really feeling guilt and fear over the Jaha attempted murder.

Raven and Octabia in Camp. O is a mess. WOW they are catty to each other. O says "It must suck to come down here and find out your boyfriend is into someone else." OUCH. True but OUCH. Why is she so mean when she grew up with only two supportive people? Yes she should be messed up but should she be a meangirl?

Raven wants to do Finn and Finn wants to talk. "Something happened." She knows and she doesn't want to talk about it ever. She asks if he loves her "Always." I am puking. Stop kissing him. He's awful. Ew. She has the worst taste in men i swear. She NEVER got a good romantic partner. (Princess Mechanic)

Clarke finds a door Bellamy smacks it with his axe. Down they go into the bowels. Mummified bodies. The place is disgusting. No supplies. Boo. Ooh some orange blankets. Bellamy is mad there's no canteen or medkit or decent fricking tent.

A barrel full of oil. Bellamy temper boy kicks it over and VIOLA OMG GUNS. HUGE BELLAMY SMILE

Monty is tripping. Fermented nuts?Or hallucinogenic. Now Jasper is tripping but it's not as nice as Monty's trip. He sees grounders everywhere. Scary. He runs to O for help. She figures out that he's on something. HE tells her he loves her. She figures it's the nuts. She gives him an anti-grounder stick so the grounders won't be able to see him. "Makes sense."

We could have used more of that O in the bunker in season 5.

She gives Miller the hallucinogenic nuts. Lincoln knows.

:Ready to be a bad ass Clarke?" She doesn't want the guns but she knows they need them. SO he offers her shooting lessons.

Oooh. He reaches around her and touches her shoulder, his voice gets smoky and steps back from her. I forgot about the sexiness of that. Watch and learn. He tries to shoot and his bullets are duds.

"Still watching." smirky flirting. She shoots and BOOM. She likes it. B likes it htat she likes it. She's being responsible. "You left miller in charge of the grounders. You must trust him." He wants her to keep him close and she's like. OMG you're gonna run. He thinks the Ark are gonna kill him when they come down. O hates him, so he's leaving.

Tells her to keep practicing. He needs some air. THat was a SHORT scene. To base our Bellarke fantasies on for seven years.

Now he's tripping Jaha. Nightmare land coming up. "I did what I had to do." But Jaha calls him out for all his sins. Now he sees the 320 culling victims. Bellamy can't defend himself against that. All his guilt. He really feels it. Oooh. Sooky. All the dead people calling him murder and coming through the wilderness at him.

Now Clarke is tripping. She's back her jail cell in the Ark. See her dad.

Everyone in the deinguent camp is tripping and one kid is stripping so O takes his clothes.

Raven and Finn are naked in bed. M0nty pops in."I can't change the tide if the moon won't cooperate. It's basic physics."

Clarke realizes her dad vision is not real. The dad vision wants her to forgive her mom. Poor baby clarke is so young here. Everyone's counting on her and it's so hard. She's feeling guilt about torturing Lincoln. Dad says she did the best she could. This is the beginning of Clarke learning about forgiveness and why she could forgive Bellamy and Lxa and all those people.

NOW dad vision calls her a crazy bitch and turns into Dax.

O frees Lincoln. Gives him delinquent clothes.He thinks this will put her in danger. That's because he's a grounder and they are barbarians and would kill someone for doing what she's doing. Jobi nuts go bad and cause vision. So he can sneak out.

He kisses O.

Yo. You should really find a girl your own age man. She's what? 16? 17 at most.

Most beautiful broom in a broom closet of brooms. Raven taking care of the kids. Even Finn is taking care of the kids until he sees Lincoln escaping. He's like get on outta here. Which is, I have to give Finn his due, the best thing he does in a while. He forgives Lincolnd for stabbing him.

Bellamy bad tripping on his 'murder victims' He wants them to kill him. Jaha beats him up. "I can't fight any more." "don't you know? LIfe is a fight." "What am I supposed to do?""Live breathe suffer. if you want the peace of death you're going to have to earn it. You think you dserve to be free of your pain? You think you deserve that gift?"

But actually, the Jaha beating him up is Dax. "You shoulda stayed down there clarke I tried not to kill you. But Shumaway said no witnesses."

Walk away now and I won't kill you. You're choice. His gun misfires as he aims at clarke and Bellamy charges him. Fight. Dax has him on the ground. Clarke charges Dax and he slams her in the gut with the butt. B picks up a bullet and slams it into Dax's jugular. Not coincidentally the place where Clarke stabbed Atom to mercy kill him. A nice little callback.

Dax is gone, B and C are up against the tree. "Are you okay?" Clarke asks?

No I'm not. If my mother she knew what I'd done, who I am? She raised me to be better to be good and all I do is hurt people. I'm a monster."

"Hey you saved my life today. And you may be a total ass half the time, but... I need you."

The look on his face as he looks at her.

"We all need you. None of us would have survived if it weren't for you.

He looks away.

She tells him to come back with him. You have to face it. He says "Like you faced your mom."

You're right. I don't want to face my mom. I don't want to face any of it." She is obsessed with keeping everyone alie.

Why is the music so romantic right now?

Can we figure it out later?

Whenever you're ready.

Bullshit you didn't write this as romantic.

O is pretending that she got high too. She did not. Good cover. Miller says the grounder is gone. Jasper panics.

Bellamy is back. "LEt the grounders come" He's tired of being afraid. Looks at Clarke and they both drop the guns. Finn looks unhappy.

Team Bellarke. Leaders. Friends. Soulmates.

The story has just changed.

O is looking out into the woods. B comes up and gives her an oragne blanket. She takes it. "I don't expec tyou to forgive me but you'll have to find a way to live with me because I'm not going anywhere.

Clarke calls him in to speak to Jaha. B knows O helped the grounder escape. She says it wasnt her and thanks him for the blanket.

Jaha.

CLarke. When you sent us down here, you sent us to die, but miraculaously most of us are still alive and in large part that is because of bellamy." She wants him pardoned like the rest of them.

Bellamy doesn't depend on his better nature. He says "If you wnat to know who wants you dead." Jaha pardons him and asks for who gave him the gun.

Cut to Shumway being arrested. Kane is angry. Shumway thinks he's fighting for what he believes but won't say what that is.

Clarke checks Finn's wound and Finn tries to guilt her about the guns. And he tries to say that Bellamy is the real danger. Clarke TRUSTS him. Finn is horrified. That's because he knows B is his rival. "You and Bellamy are leading us down a dangerous road. I wish you'd talked to me about it first." WHEN was finn the leader? Fucking asswipe. She is like "I wish we talked about a lot of things."

Diana Sydney comes to Shumway and Diana has him killed.

I honestly do sympathize with Diana Sydney's position but she's such a horrible character (dare I say horrible actress I hate her D:) and her plans are so horrible that she, who should have been the good guy, becomes the bad guy. I'm usually for the proletariat, but Diana was vicious and stupid and mean and her plans were bad and unethical and selfish.

[matrose]

Hello ! How are you doing ? I'm a FAN of your artwork and i would like to ask a few questions if it's ok for you to answer them ? I would like to know how long does a drawing take you ? ( like, for a non-background/only character by example and how long does it take you for a full masterpiece like those you are doing for khazad week ? epsecially the last one with the oh so like dream mountains ? ) And did you learn by yourself ? Are there any artists that you admire and that have inspired your style ? oh and the most important : do you think you will ever do illustrations for children's stories like fairy tales? because your artwork is very colorful and cute ( and amazing, marvelous, wonderful, poetic, incredible ) and I can see your kind of drawings on the covers of children's stories ! have a nice day !

oh wow hello!!! i am very well and luckily mostly recovered from being sick so i was properly outside again and visited the deer and goats at the park, so i'm very happy 🥰 this is such an incredibly sweet ask and i am very flattered to have received it!! i'm happy to answer your questions 🫶

luckily, i've got an artprogram (ProCreate) that automatically records my process and tells me how long it took - everything i draw varies greatly in style because i usually draw whatever i feel like drawing and try whatever i want to try...i really really like trying out all the different brushes available to me and see where they take me!! so i'll show you four different drawings and how long they took me:

there's a lot of variables but in general cell-shading is a lot quicker than a painting approach ❣️

my latest drawing for khazad week took around 3 hours i believe - i had a lot of fun with filling everything with these little swirls and shapes, i used to fill entire pages with stuff like that during train rides when i was younger. i'm honestly a bit surprised people are liking it that much but i'm very happy! my backgrounds usually take a bit longer though, i've checked a few bigger drawings and they all come out to around 7 hours!

i had a few How To Draw books in my team, i especially remember one on animals and one on anime that i had when i was 12, though i also remember not really using them and being a bit bored by them. i also had a book about drawing when i was maybe 5 and i remember that one really fondly. it used simply shapes and bright colors and there was an underwater landscape with fish and corals and algae that i thought was sooo beautiful and that i would draw over and over again. i think that one stuck with me haha! otherwise i am self-taught in the sense that i never really attended classes beyond the mandatory ones at school. art/drawing for me personally has always been about having fun and trying myself out and being happy more than anything else.

it's also why i will not and can not ever do art properly as a proper job like graphic design, and i am not sure i could do comissions either. if i am bored and/or restricted the quality greatly suffers...this is truly just for my own fun 😚 though to prematurely answer your last questions i actually COULD very much imagine doing kids books illustrations - those are usually very whimsical and fun and unless the author has very specific pictures in mind already, i could just go nuts with it...kind of a dream honestly though the deadline would be so scary!

as for inspiration...this one is haaard to answer! i constantly get inspired by so many things i see every day - tumblr is so full of wonderful images and nature itself is so beautiful and sometimes i'll recall things from my childhood, books with vaguely remembered illustrations about all kinds of things (the caves in mountains from what i posted yesterday were based on a blurry memory of a book my father read to me when i was pretty young) and then there's museums... on top of it all i study art-history so i am always surrounded by beautiful images...how overwhelming. here are three artists that have inspired me with shapes and colors and patterns:

gustav klimt, phyllis shafer, and wenzel hablik!! in general i really really love art noveau, expressionism, and abstract art and i also love childrens books illustrations!

i don't at all come close to any of them and my more cartoonish style is a way of mimicking features of the art that i love but without putting too much work into it hahahahah

thank you again for this lovely lovely ask, it made me feel really cool 😳 i hope you'll have a wonderful day morning or evening, wherever you are 💐 feel free to ask more questions if i've answered anything in an unclear manner or if you just feel like it:)<3

[shadow-lag]

Oh boy,, welp. Time for another long post of rambles. This time I'm watching the '03 tmnt B)

I'm on episode 4 and while I wasn't gonna do another one of these I've already had to put my phone down and walk around my room so here we are.

Fair warning: this will ofc contain spoilers. Everything I say will be random with limited context. (I dont expect anyone to even find this so-) And I'm a massive dork B) let's do this

I remember literally 80 seconds in I couldn't take a damn thing seriously- this is gonna be veryyy fun to watch

I can now see so many references rise (18) made and I'm going insane /pos New iterations make references to its past media! Who knew!

I think April is missing a rib or two /hj girl is absolutely snatched. I love her pants, I want those irl. (Classic big pants little shirt combo (why am I so gay))

Oh look! The boys are bonding over their anger issues! Why are they even fighting rn o(-( rise Casey is so small. Why is this Casey jacked- "for a little green dude, you are totally nuts" WHY IS HE SO SHORT YOURE RIGHT. he tough but smol. Lmfao. "Well isn't this romantic" HELLO??!??? guess I wasn't the only one getting enemies to lovers vibes over here, but you didn't need to point it out- damn. (Am I getting baited? In the ripe time of 2003?) Should Mikey have a personality outside of just being the funny guy? Yes. Do I appreciate all the jokes still? Yes. Yayy validate his cool new kick (I hate how Leo and Raph always beef. I need more happy brotherly bonding)

For brothers who aren't meant to be on the surface, they sure do make quick besties with the "surface dwellers" (as splinter would call them lol). Man any hope we had is gone fellas. The hets are here /lh? Casey within seconds has flustered April. This a lost cause smh. Casey you are on thin ice,, And in today's new. Local alley man parents a robot built in front of his very eyes (for money ofc). Mans is getting real emotional over this robot son rn. Wow this episode is actually pretty telling about parenting if you look at it too long. Yeah! Tell it to him straight April! Misogynistic characters don't belong in our silly little shows /srs

Bro just compacted his bike. Interesting to see them all have different sets of wheels and not just skate boards. Would have been cool to see that return. Or at least the roller blades (yes I'm 100% biased) I'm sorry if I've terribly read that. But did he just call the big blonde dude "hun"? What? (/neu) HE FLIES!! jet pack is much cooler but this is fun. WHY ARE THEY TAKING A BODY SHAPED THING FROM THE WATER? WJAT IS THAT. Is that a krang husk? The krang is in 03 isn't it? (Unfortunately (I hate the krang)) OH NO THATS DEFINITELY THE KRANG NOOO

Why IS Raph and Casey so buddy-buddy. I just feel like raph isn't the type to open up to someone so quickly o(-( Oh boy the foot is advertising turtle skewers all over the city. I don't think they're all too fond of raph little friend lmao. Casey why are you so ignorant- God yeah they reallyyy don't like casey rn lmfao BRO THEY STOLE RAPH AND THE DRAGONS ARE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CASEY? DUDE that's a little fucked up ngl. Ah I see. Smart moves case now go save your boyfriend. "This is some nice steel. How about telling me who gave them to you?" "Your mama" DAMN!! FOR REAL? WOW (I didn't think that clip was real ngl-) ah yes ofc he escaped he had plot armor my bad. Oh they're gonna drop Casey in the infinite water swirl. YOOO let's go Mikey!! Yippee the day is saved once more! Lmfao they really don't like when casey visits. I'm confused. I know this other ninja guy is most probably the shredder but who is his enemy is this? Does he work with the krang or like?? Maybe just a case of them connecting the wrong dots ig. Now who the fuck are the three monotone council members o(-(

Ooh boy fallen angel. Quite the title. Geez what did Casey get into now- hm I feel like fleeing the city would solve several problems but is a completely overlooked solution /hj man they look so goofy is normal clothes. Skivvies? What is that supposed to mean Raphael 🧐 I'm starting to think big guy isn't even human- nahh I think a wee bit of murder here would in fact be justified.

Ah yes vehicular manslaughter for this episode /j omg they've befriended the homeless and they are so sweet what the heck :(((( I'm crying /pos (no bc this is actually how it'd play out realistically. Outcasts stick together and I'm just- it says so much about our society but it's just a silly turtle show:( no wonder it attracted so many queer/trans folk with rise) don't you laugh at that sweet old man>:( help him get his friends back. Just got a very blunt lesson on capitalism. Based. Oh shit and now we are getting into slave labor. Uh- this episode is really touching up on reality huh. Oh god who the hell is this ugly dude gross. Please make him stop talking. What a veil thing. Yes good fall to your doom. NO WHY SAVE HIM? HES A HORRIBLE PERSON

Wait do they actually have tails? Mikey don't lie to me like this o(-( I wish with the design overhauls in rise they would have gotten tails. I know like it's easier to not animate them though so. I guess I can't complain too much. Oh the swords are important you say? Bad choice to say that out loud you're definitely going to lose them now. For plot ofc. And character development. NO YOU IDIOT DONT GO ANYWHERE ALONE. someone wack him with some rolled up newspaper and tell him you're proud of him please. Not funny-haha, funny weird. -Mikey, probably. I need tone tags on this guy /hj. Is he pulling my leg rn? What are you going against? No way he's not the shredder with the foot clan. Dude is definitely lying. Leo needs to leave. No don't accept the sword. No way it's real. Sincerity my ass o(-( dude. Council? Of krang right? God this show- so I'm assuming the krang and the foot doesn't like each other then? At least it's not mutual at least. Oh geez leo throw your brother off the building why don't you- Okay yes he is the shredder then. Ninja rat moment! Gotta throw in the tragic backstory. Bro got straight electrocuted to death /hsrs. Dang. Poor rat man. Wow Leo really did get played. L. Oooo fight scene in the storm! Come on give this big doofus another scar. God these council people are weird. Oop- here comes the shredder.

Oh okay so Hun is that dudes real name- I'm just dumb-

[a break in the rambles. Notes? Idk. This is gonna be extremely long huh- barely even through the first season and it's already an essay. Maybe I should tone it down a bit. I mean surely tumblr has a character limit]

"Whats the one thing I told them not to do? Face the shredder. Surely that's what they're doing then" (paraphrased) ofc. Like most rebellious children lmao. (My siblings for example lmao) welp they just broke into someone's apartment- lmao that poor kid. Raph is going to kill Mikey for that one if the foot doesn't first lmfao. Noo you can't leave the old (rat) man to figure out technology come on donnie. Bro is that the sword light saber thing from the mando? Wait so are they allies with the potentially the krang guys now? Master splinter had the look tm. Hmmmm I feel like the shredder will somehow survive that. Yep. He'll be back. L.

Bro there's super heros in this too- they'd accept super heros but not our favorite turtle bros? Not very cool new york. Don't make fun of his art :( damn poor mikey. Yes! April support!! Oh no who's this guy. THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS? Oh. Super hero. Lmao in their faces.

"Meep"

There is literally so much lore in this series holy cow

I saw something something "kirby" on screen and damn near exploded. They are nothing alike at all. But man does my brain like to play me like a fool. Man this series was written by a bunch of crystal girls (/neu) oh my god donnie took kirby (the tmnt version) to dreamland /j holy shit kirby fucking died (please know my main coping mechanism is humor) (it's actually kinda sweet to think he's in a land of his imagination!)

[Okay this is so much longer than what my rise one was already omg- I should just close tumblr and give it a rest lmao. Honestly if Casey and Raph first interactions didn't seem so enemies to lovers this would have never happen /hj]

"Of the four of us leo is the one turtle you never have to worry about" *cut to leo fighting like 20 dudes by himself in the rain* Whats with Leo and getting thrown off buildings??

No it's not a great loss they're not dead just like walk through the fire and save them or something o(-( m a n

Wow calling the next one tales of Leo makes it sounds like he's actually dead damn- omg we get turtle tots in this one too this is amazing. The sillies<3 Raph. Buddy. Goofball. ITS OKAY TO SHOW EMOTION (that isn't just anger) COME ON

I was gonna say we need more light hearted goofy episodes like monster hunter but was completely cut off from, and I quote, "Someone once said, "The only difference between men and boys is there size of their toys." " and I am literally jaw dropped to the floor bc I did not take that line well- I am fighting demons rn (trying not to laugh in the middle of the night) I am so thrown off by that line-

Bro why did Leo call Baxter Stockmen a fruitcake💀 I'm sorry- did he just cut shredders head clean off??😭 sorry shredder but there's absolutely no coming back from that one lmao. EXCUSE ME?? well damn I guess there IS coming back from that one. So, not human?

If it weren't for like ninja honor and morals and all that Raph would 100% have these goons dead. Raph goes blind (real) Raph making friends with literally every "hothead" he meets in alley ways (part 2)

Oh these guys are absolutely wack job krang. EWWW NO THEY ARE KRANG D: oh man the boys are in trouble now. Just like give them their dad back and we can allll go home. Why is splinter in the orange juice. They really have no reason to fight. Like. Listen, crazy idea now. Just communicate. OMG THEYRE FUCKING GONE. THEY'VE BEEN DISINTEGRATED.

Okay wowza that's only season 1. 6 more seasons to go- this is going to be one wild ride huh. This show really knows how to keep ya on your feet. All this is doing though is making me wish we got more Rise o(-( how come this wack iterations (/pos) got so many episodes, but rottmnt barely got 2 seasons and a movie?

Starting season 2 same day ofc. I have to binge this show as quickly as humanly possible /hj perhaps I'll try to write less, maybe I'll write even more who knows. Eventually I'm sure I'll hit some sort of limit. This singular post is about to be more words than any fanfic I've ever wrote lmao.

Bros just got reconstructed in space. Mmm the star wars tmnt crossover all us nerds wanted. The guys are always getting into so much trouble 😭 I like how Mikey is more worried about how the colors of the dress clash with his bandana more than the fact its a dress. Based and real. Oh god the blue dude is hitting on Mikey o(-( yeah yeah kick his ass! Oh noo don't get caught. :0 It's chewy but blue! Girlboss Mikey!! Girlboss Mikey!! "You go girl!" Bro I'm dead lmfao. Finally they all have,, GUNS

"The big house" oh man they're going to jail. Oh wow yeah they're in jail. And now they are going to bust out of jail. Wonderful. Damn it Raph. Well dang guess spoons are a weapon. Welp off to the games they go then. Oh boy they've taken a hostage of a dictator. THE ROBOT IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF?? Okay no he doesn't die (yet?. Hopefully not) Wow they all have horrible aim. It is truly bizarre all the shit the turtle bros get themselves into to. (How many times am I gonna have to say that before I can have a silly goofy episode o(-( ) Also can I say those tube things they have in their mouth for oxygen make no sense- like I can understand how that would actually work properly- I can only imagine it was just the easiest solution (to draw) They look so silly in the space suits /pos. Just makes me wish they would have been given tails in the rise redesign hauls </3 Oop the krang is bringing them back it seems. HOW MANY PARTS ARE IN THIS ONE?? ITS LIKE A WHOLE MOVIE AT THIS POINT LOL. Okay well it's to be continued, but this one is a different part 1, 2, ect. Oooo and now the new yorkers are suspicious. SPLINTS!! HES BACK!! YIPPEE. Ooo wait what they're buddies? Utroms. So um. Not krang? But like. Sorta similar? Do the krang and utroms have like a civil war or something I'm so confused o(-( Oh. My. God. Baxter is a fucking spider. I agree with Mikey I would not go in the pod. Okay okay. So this criminal utrom is gonna be the krang then, right? OMG THE SHREDDER IS THE EVIL UTROM DUDE. BRO. NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. BAXTER YOU MOTHER FUCKER. WHY CANT YOU JUST DIE ALREADY. I genuinely can but believe there's 7 seasons. Like. What on earth (or within the rest of the universe for that matter-) could they possible get into after this?? The shredder is literally a roach, how does he keep coming back o(-( at least stockmen is free from his control? Even know he has like just a head left- YIPPEE!! THE BOYS ARE GOING HOME!!

Splinter I have like 27 IQ what's with all the riddles. It's so odd seeing them without their bandana on lol. Raph you don't have to be a jerk all the time smh smh. Leo just happens to be better than all of you half of the time. No big deal- (kinda feel bad for raph and mikey. Mikey mostly. It feels like they don't have anything special:( I mean hell donnie is extremely smart, he's probably the most special. But leo has that edge in combat) Yep family B) *distant punches and screaming*

Oh boy quite the intro. Leo just dies. Right off the bat. /j what. Why does he seek leo o(-( icecream!! Raph seems to like mint chocolate chip! Win! Oh right this guy. Wonder what his deal is- DITTO!! Huh- this is so dumb >:( agreed very over dramatic. Also didn't shredder kinda like,, defeat himself. It was his bomb thing after all. Omg did this dude just portal away in his cape. Metaknight?? Is that you?? /s literally stole mks moves smh. Haha take the L random ninja dude. Now he's the real greatest warrior in the galaxy. Wow this episode is so random lmao I love it. Can the time be right like now- I'm so confused o(-(

The little intro things are so silly. They're like interviews at the beginning. No Casey it's not a date or anything at all nooooo. (I wish it wasn't a date smh get your romance out of my goofy ninja turtles show) dude I kinda feel bad for this robot kid thing. If only the nanobots ended up in better hands. LMAO "and when will you have her home young man?" AS IF YOU ALL ARENT FRIENDS IM CRACKLING. Thank you donnie finally someone wants to help it. NO NO KISSING>:( GO BACK TO BEING SILLY AND GOOFY

Yes you are absolutely always getting into wack ass situation Mikey great observation. Finally someone said it. Noo Mikey is about to be eaten by a giant gator- bros just trying to live and they're messing with him lmao. HUH? Are those like magic glasses o(-( oh no he just talks normally. Just a normal everyday fellow mutant. Swear to God if he's working on a new body suit for shredder- who *somehow* is still alive. SEE RISE RAPH COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH COOLER WITH A BIG TAIL. YO cool he's a mutant dude too. Wait was he there when the building exploded and all that? Yes. You the one it just scanned fight it first. YEAH GATOR GUY KICK HIS ASS!! Bro,, :( thats so sad what the hell.

This show was absolutely written by a bunch of crystal girls. (/neu (I have a bunch of crystals myself lol)) These guys are insane. Where do they get the funds for all this stuff anyways- damn right you're proud of him. Dude is insane intelligent-

Ooo starting this one with a song huh. The foot? And the wacky tie guy? Oh shit right it's the gang wars episode isn't it- TURF WAR (my brain is impeccably small) [splatoon reference]

Ya know I wonder if these sorts of shows have like idk psychological affects on kids? Like do they leave any sort of impression on them? Are kids who watch these "crime fighting or hero" shows more likely to be "good-do'ers" and have better morals bc they are given an example of the hero and see how the bad guys always lose, have bad endings, and inflict so much pain (and property damage lol). Are these kids more likely to take up jobs like police officers? What even makes a person want to be a cop anyways lol. Idk. Food for thought I guess. All coherent thoughts must go to the mega-post after all.

BAXTER? IS BACK?? AGAIN??? I shouldn't even be surprised anymore.

Honking

Have I mentioned how much I envy their voices sometimes. Bc damn o(-( it's just occasional lines. Here and there. Lmao transmasc things ig.

Bro. Raph. Leo. Stop fighting you dingdongs. Ofc Hun is back. BROS GOING TO BLOW. Karai? Haven't I heard that name before. YOU CANT JUST COME IN HERE AND KILL OFF LEO LIKE THAT LADY. genuinely how do they make this last 7 whole seasons lol

Why are those two dudes like super yellow- I can only imagine this is sorta racist..

I'm sorry is that the shredder?? Broooo. Oh- yeah yeah that makes sense. That's what I was thinking lmao. This is just- dude o(-( would have been cooler if the plan worked. RAPH!! SPLINTER!!!!! God damn it he is actually back. Where is your honor!?

I'm so sorry, Baxter? Uhh that's a bit too far now. Please just kill him off. This is getting ridiculous 💀

Woah the plot twists in this one is crazy fr ZOG NO!! he killed a man in cold blood,, the turtles would have been toast without you Zog. Rip <//3

Uhh I think I skipped one but WOAH TINY ROBOTS ROBBING THE COMIC STORE! They've got the tiny guy. Ofc Don is tracking the old men lmao. Plot twist, the two super heros had,,,, SEX. Win day for Mikey tho let's goooooo.

THE BATTLE NEXUS USED TO BE HONORABLE? Wow splinter is even more of a nut than the boys. BUNNY BOY??? REAL?? I remember absolutely nothing anyone told me about usagi? (I forgor his name) aww splints:( the boys are all grown up. Uh oh. Traximus sounds so close to Draximus which is my dogs name lmao. BUNNY BOY-O IS BACK OMG. omg he's so dumb looking lol. Ooo toffas! The shredder?? Well his helmet anyways. So uh. When do they kiss? (Joke) wait what if splinter and like leo both make it to the very top? Do they just fight each other? Aww donnie:( poor dude he will never live this down lmao. Woah the ninja dude is just as bad as the shredder. L. This guy is so lame. Kill him off! LMAO ofc. Quite the match ups. Mikey sorry you're out lol. Aw splinter you're so cool. Okay that makes more sense tbh- dude is about to get clapped by his son. (Uh killed that is) Oh? Kinda surprised Raph won that. Okay. Ohhh noo. I am so normal about this show (lie) Okay I'm not quite down with this one but I don't see how the ship stands as of now- unless the fandom is literally just clinging on anything we can get lol [boy this is making me what to do a video essay just rambling about this show. Just overall. And some of its themes and topics it discusses. I have my gripes, but I'm overjoyed to watch it still] anywaysss. Uh oh leo! Donnie to the rescue! (Wrong target tho don!) You stupid red haired jerk. Welp big powerful dude is dead. Oop. Wait until raph and mikey finds out what happened. YOU SCUM DONT FRAME THE RAT >:( Usagi the doctor bunny! Mikey! Stop running your mouth! Eep! You red haired mf>:((( stop>:(( ofccc it's the dragon. Uh oh. Uh oh. They don't even get to see what happened to Leo. Lmfao now it's raph and mikey that's hilarious. Oh my God mikey being annoying is a genuine strategy lmfao. This is hilarious. Crackling rn. Raph that's absolutely stupid?! Let's go!!! (Love this trax guy) uh hating this stupid shadow creatures tho. Yippee! Donnie and Usagi saving the day! I can certainly see why everyone loves Usagi. He's such a little critter /pos /aff. Brave Usagi!! Yippee!! NO DONT SKEWER THE RABBIT. Oooo leo! Mikey for the win!! It would absolutely be the most funny outcome. Yeah good! The staff should fight back! Too bad it didn't fight back hard enough. Oh boy a dimensional rift huh? Is kirby coming to eat a car? (Sorry) ((lie)) bye bye red losers! Fall to your own evil plans. WOOOOOOO LETS GO MIKEY!! That's it with Usagi? A bit surprised. The sillies<3 once again mikey is technically the most powerful lol. No- not the dinos coming to invade earth- God that was a long one. See ya in the next!

Hm perhaps it is in fact the end of the world. Donnie D: looks like we're going back to space boys

Raise the stacks? Who is this guy? Wait I thought the justice league knock offs were all old and stuff. This show is so confusing o(-( oh boy they're bringing out the nukes. Oh- do they actually survive nukes? Yes ofc they do. I agree with Mikey. Hand over my happy ending. Damn poor donnie- BRO JUST NINJA-ED HIS WAY OUT OF THAT?? Wow this is going to kill the economy fr. Come on donnie your brothers can totally kick ass (plus they're like not even on earth rn-) oh god they're gonna get shot. Yippee!! Another rebellion dude! Double ship theft. Poor mikey. He just wants credit for all their hard work lol. Did he- did he just come back to earth?- this little bot is a funny guy. Uh oh I think that's the other space nerds isn't is? The,, government? Makes sense. Raphy is such a cute nickname. It's hilarious how he's the one with that kind of nickname since he's the 'hothead' ughhh the American government is here. Leave the space stuff to the mutants please. Oh they're just goons o(-( Uh nvm government? No it is the military? I'm so confused. Why do they have laser guns. Yeah Don that's what I'm saying. Heyyy splints time to go. Yes take them with you and go. Now we fight the US military. WHO IS THIS FREAKY GUY???? ew stop. Bishop. Yeah. More like bitch hop out of here right now. Stop speaking like that. I hate this show. Where is the justice. Well hopefully honeycutt actually like wiped his memory or whatever. This is why you can't trust the government kids. No leatherhead D: stuck in a drawer.. gross. Holy shit I hate this bishop guy. Yall better hurry before they look their DNA and shit (and their lives-) GO SPLINTER JUST LIKE KILL SOMEONE FOR ONCE. (sure it goes against the ninja honor whatever but this guy deserves it!!) HE IS ONE SCUM BAG MAN WHY THE HELL IS HE WINNING??????? Hate this. Someone give raph a gun and permission to kill. Oh boy he IS the system. Rare good side win. Still hate bishop an insane amount. Let's keep in mind these guys are like what 16? The trauma is off the charts o(-( another honorable hero lost o7. This show is so wacky and weird. At least they won? I mean obviously some things are foreshadowed but things are still so unpredictable- I wonder what trouble the boys will get into next. I mean bitch bishop will be back, so will the shredder and the foot. And I guess baxter is to some degree alive??

Oh god who's this guy. A true ultimate power bump? I suppose? Raph this is why we don't cheat in racing. He's a good guy you goons o(-( yay! Old lady to the rescue! Finally a cat that likes Raph. Rise!raph wishes. Um? The train can't really get them right? Plot armor and ninja quickness and all- If anything happens to this old lady I'm coming after everyone myself. Ah yes thinking. A brave new world for mikey. Awww he gave the money to the old lady:D yippee!! Literally the best part of the whole show calling it now. Finding out one of them isn't dead? Cool. Helping this wonderful old lady? Absolutely awesome! I hope raph gets another tea party with her honestly-

And this episode, trauma response, nightmares! Poor LH:( oo the evil turtles are scary. Oh no. Mikey is out- aw:( dudes got landmines fr. I love how they look after each other and joke around <3 the sillies <3 okay back to the saddness- what the fuck why is everyone in this place absolutely wackjobs with no heart and morals??? o(-( YAY!! Can't handle another sacrifice. :) family

Oh boy this one is titled hate. Can only wonder what this is about. They always get into the wackiest situations- lmao never alone april and casey. Bro I thought that was Casey and he got shot- damn- lmfao bro got pants. LMAO I have a solution hate crimers to kick the aliens out of New York we are gonna,,,BLOW UP THE ENTIREY OF NEW YORK. Quite the plan. Uh oh mommy's home casey. Aw Ma likes April. Lmao she found about splinter and the turtles too that's amazing. Ma is another character we must protect at all costs.

BATMAN? nobody?? Huh. Mikey be like mom said it's my turn with the video games >:( lmao. Dudes covered in true black paint lmao. Wow they touch and go guys are back. L. Broooo why are there so many villains in New York. What does the rest of the world do? Do they have villains? Who fights there weird crimes? Villains across the globe be like. Ya know what'd be cool? If we went to new york permanently. Hell yeah he's a someone now. I think Hun is gonna be fired lmao. I think a certain group of everyone's favorite green boys accidently pulled an all nighter lmao.

Uh guys maybe you shouldn't leave casey out at night. MORE TURTLE TOTS!! omg they're so cute. Young casey? Why doesn't anyone remember this? They're so silly. Lmfao they are horrible liars. They're so adorable. They're so goofy omg. This is so silly that's why casey scream goongala or whatever all the time- lmfao theyre all confusing him. It seems like leo and donnie were the first to take any sort of training to heart. They are all still horrible liars tho lmao. Busted~ oh well I guess casey was just sorta a natural in street fighting-

Ooo Christmas episode? Please tell me mikey gets to keep the cat pleaseeee (I'm sure he'll like give em to the kids or something but man it would have been nice) how does clunk say in his coat through all that- oo raph? I didn't think he was the type to be into interfering with people's romantic relationships (trying to make casey and april kiss with mistletoe lmao) I guess it makes sense. Cj and him are the closest. USAGI!!!! what did he say o(-( aww they got swords for each other lmao. I wonder if he will actually use it. Lmao L casey. I too love cookies. Aw:( where's mikey? Just in hot pursuit with the cops no big deal. He's literally causing more harm than good o(-( lmao beautiful. PLEASE LET HIM KEEP THE CAT. Aww. rat santa. Wait does this mean he keeps the cat?????:D

Did she just break his neck- dude stop fighting each other lmao. I wonder who keeps calling donnie? This is the second time now. Dang did they actually train the foot clan this round? Bro:/ stop hitting on the foot lady. B o o m. Karai? Good. That's right. Eventually she'll be on the good side. Confused,, always.

Excuse me. Did master splinter just fucking die as the intro o(-( THE CAT IS HERE!! uh oh. What. Why does Don just know Italian lol. Welp time to fight the dead. Okay so this isn't real. I wonder what this all means? What they fear most? IVE SEEN THIS CLIP WITH RAPH AS SHREDDER BEFORE? HUH? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN. IM SO CONFUSED HELP. Hmm so Leo's is about not like being independent enough? A good enough leader to not need help. A good enough ninja to not get his own father killed for coming to his aid. He fears being a disappointment and a failure. Oh o(-( Uh. Donnies? Maybe afraid of losing those he's meant to protect ig? Having people not listen to his own orders and paying the price.? I'm not really sure on that one. It's a bit confusing and probably could be interpreted more than the others. Mikeys seems tied back to that one deal leo almost made with the shredder. But also a fear with losing his brothers in whole. Raph is clearly afraid of hurting those he loves whether it's directly or indirectly. Probably due to his consistent rash course of action. Those are just my quick theories though! I did drop out of psychology after all lol. What happened to the staff? Ah there it is. What would leo even do with all kinds of power anyways lol. Oh my that must be spooky to watch- oh. Welllll guess it's not dead:/

Oop new guy is finally killing off baxter. Ohh the calls were from her. Damn he doesn't get squashed. Or the calls are from honeycutt. I'm not paying attention enough lmao. Omg they've been shoved into a crate haven't they? Rude. Can't just drop them like that. Let's go professor!! Welp wrong direction oh well at least it's not in the air. Kinda feel bad for karai.

Wow that's a lot of lore. Just out of basically no where lmao. Woah these filler episodes are getting out of hand- bizarre.

Okay. And I thought last episode was crazy. Dude just tried to attack time. Okay,, so that all happened. Wack. How do you think they tell these to splinter? Do..they even tell him? Is it worth trying to explain-

Bro can't bishop just die please. Poor raph is bike is gone. Surely baxter doesn't make it out of this one.

Bro donnie just appeared- oh wow. He's back. They are back? Ohh wait so they do actually tell splinter of all the shenanigans they get into lol. Or some of them at least. Omg so I guess that one time when donnie said during the second nanobots episode that if splinter were evil they would also likely be evil. I guess he was wrong. At least in this universe. The turtles are always the good guys. Omg that's absolutely hilarious mikey really knows how to leave his mark huh?

Good morning all beings and forms huh? I think that one. Wayy better than ladies and gentlemen.

Okay I was gonna comment on raphs more (speaking of the other two, I wonder what these mean? The others so far seemed less harmless than this one, if anything they were enjoyable (sure mikey had to save the world but he loves superheros so) I can only assume donnie will be saving this world, or trying to anyways, or teach someone(s) a valuable lesson (like raph did) I'm just confused as to what part of this could be possibly enjoyable for donnie. I've actually heard a good overview of this episode. Guess I'll actually have to watch the full thing before I come back huh lol. Oop- it's crazy to think in a similar reality they would split up. You would think leo would stay, but it makes senses it's actually mikey. Oh- hes dead. Holy moly they've merged. It kinda makes sense after all that hun and baxter would form a (probably forced) alliance and join the rebellion. Oh. Nvm. They still hate each other lol. Damn donnie better watch his back now- oh my they look worst for wear too. Oop straight to the room it seems. Damn he's huge. Finally! April has a gun! Oh- guess hun is a goner- Mikey? MIKEYYY. AIM FOR THE HEAD DAMN IT. How does leo fight so well blind? Oh damb there goes leo- holy shit this uh doesn't end well does it. Uh? Are they not really dead then? Um. Yay! They did it? Guess he saved this world. Woah. Quite the episode. I wonder why his was so,, bad? He too saved people and taught a lesson. It'll be interesting to see Leo's now.

So leo goes to usagi land it seems (idk where that dudes from sorry-) oh wait so we don't see Leo's part in that one? Just usagi somehow contacting leo and taking him to the battle nexus area. Okay still going with this plot line. Very confused. Oh- what-? Is this for real? o(-( it's so funny to think so one realizes they're ya know green and such when they have clothes on. Uh oh- this isn't good. Why even is Usagi so like loyal to Leo? Maybe it is just some honor thing and this is how a friendship would work. I mean Raph has Casey. Oh dang so he gets all of them at once. Crazy. I guess he would have the most focus. Dang poor donnie- looks like they're a but more powerful than what they thought. Oop- quite the few episodes.

Icky sound I hate it. When can bishop just like idkkk pass away maybe? Please? Hate this guy. Wow he really does get around for an earthling. Uh maybe that's where he got the tech. Evolution? That thing is half robot. Aw he pushed mikey out of the way:( oh god he's ugly. Ew he just disappeared. Let's go honeycutt! Well there is 4 more seasons I'd say they do something right you freaky jerk. Dang conceded much? Can it truly be over with bishop. I really hate this dude. Oh- wish came true? Guess they really hung this guys career to dry then. I'm surely not complaining. Damn. I never win smh.

Oh? Interesting. Ooo he actually got a shot in? Wait isn't donnie and LH in the tunnels?? Oh dang. Brawling moment. How the hell is this bishop dude so good at combat. Huh? He didn't know? I would have thought he knew. Dumb blob. Looks like the end for you. Damn you karai stop being a dumbass. Oh shit donnie. Jump jump jump! Let's not forget this is only the half way point of all this-

Welp to space we go then. Oh god he's got an even uglier body. Does splinter like make it to the finale of all this? WHAT HELLO EXCUSE ME HUH DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN IS LEO OKAY HE MAKES IT RIGHT SURELY THIS IS LIKE TOTALLY FINE RIGHT. Oh man. I am just. I'm gonna need to pace around the room. Wow Karai finally using your brain here. Leo? Man:( honor to the end huh. I just want to know how they actually survive all this. Bc if they do surely the shredder does too. YES UTROM!! THANK YOU. Too bad bishop didn't magically end up on the ship. Wish he would die too lol. Wow this dude has caused so much harm. Finally. Dude is gone. Too bad Karai. You could have stopped this yourself. Woah this is great. Rare turtles win:) really should have just totally killed that evil blob tho. Would have been easier and for the better- lol they're gonna need a new intro now.

Well shit they can just never catch a damn break- oh sweet yeah new intro. I guess shredder is really gone then? Who is this weirdo. Ofc wack job has a gun. Oh my God they've put Raph in the closet. Lmfao. That's perfect. Uh oh mikey. Hard to fight with no legs. Finally some good luck lol. Hell yeah you are all that and a bag of chips mikey B) lmfao. I need to see donnie with more winning one liners. Nightie night dragon boy bam! (I don't mention enough how much I love 03 donnie. Hes just a funky lil guy.) Lmfao the little doodle. I haven't been keeping proper track of my favorite episodes but I'd say this is one of them. S4E1. Let's go ninja April!! Raph you're such a butthead lmao. Aw that's cool. What would they do with a bunch of money anyways?

There's no such thing as boring around here mike. Omg I just noticed. Usagi is in Leo's little intro thing. Perhaps I can see where the fandom is coming from with these two. Damn. Leo:( omg casey you dork. Uh oh- can't even watch the stars around here smh smh. Woah raph stopping leo from hitting something? The universe has shifted lmao. Why so many flowers o(-( (does he stink? Eh probably) Dude just got picked up like bird food. Amazing burnt pancakes. The sub plot love story is really coming together. Dude mikeys legs will never heal at this rate- oop into the bubble you go weird crazy blue lady. What? Interesting gift ig? But a gift nonetheless?

Man leo:( always so hard on yourself. He's definitely got that leader syndrome. Uh fish lady? Oh more of those ancient people. "Where we could spawn" excuse me- how do they stay under water that long. Leo's shell :( I didn't notice the slice until now. Oh god I didn't know those things were called "dikes" it sounded like donnie was calling me a slur 😭 "Um, just a little guy in-" nope cut. Stop right there. You are in fact just a little guy. End of sentence /aff yeah idiot. The turtles are good do-ers! Lil fish people live!

Hm?. Leo going out without the bros. But bringing casey? This is a bit confusing. I agree with case he's definitely be eating out of raphs bowl a little too much. No one thinking for you blue one. What has gotten into him anyways:/ Leo's lost his mind. Was that the sound of bones breaking? I'm sorry has he actually gone nuts? Oh boy whats in the ice crate. Agreed what on (totally not) earth? Oh creepy demon thing. Why does the military have that beast anyways- damn I'd just leave if I were Leo. Looks like they've got their hands full anyway. Ew- oh. He's in two pieces. Leo actually goes insane (real) oh. That thing is a test subject ain't it. Oh god that's nasty. What is this show rated- they don't show much blood violence but uh body gore is in the table- do you think Leo's shell ever heals all the way? Ouch- Bishop you whore. Well damn looks like everyone knows the boys are back in town. Aw:( that's so sad dude. Everytime I see bishop I hate him even more.

Is that the clone thing guy? That the turtles took out? Yeah I'd say so. Mikey is so goofy /pos. That's a lot of rats- oh no mike- this ain't good. It's the damn rat king. How does this guy control the dang rats anyways o(-( the boys are going home with a million and a half diseases tonight- that whole building is going down. Leo stop trying to take things by yourself it's not going to redeem yourself. I agree with raph. Something has definitely gotten into leo. Oh my God that's so many rats. Gone to the rats. The like one million rats. Why didn't the rats eat him. I'm so confused. What does he even have to do with rats??

Oh boy mikeys gotta do a rematch. Huh? Are they training or actually fighting leo?? Oh okay training. Lmfao mikey. Aw even all the shit he talks about mikey he's still the first to jump in and save him. Sore loser much? LMFAO poor mikey. Okay so like really what's with leo. Doesn't he technically still have a match in the battle nexus? Sureee "play". Dude might actually kill mikey. Nope I think he is in fact talking about himself. Mikey o(-( you have to be serious. Damn- very VERY sore losers. Dude is speaking in key board smashes. Holy moly what a jerk. Mikey is going to have rights to gloat after this one. (So will leo honestly) LETS!! GO!! MIKEY!! Lmfaooo yeah they are never hearing the end of this. This is hilarious.

What just happened to splinter? What's with the water o(-( OH NO KLUNK! You are not about to tell me that poor little cat drowns:( no klunk:((( that was so uncalled for:( ew people. BISHOP YOU BASTARD YOU KILLED KLUNK. YOU WILL KNOW PAIN. yeah maybe a bit of a show off- DUDE- what the fuck is wrong with this damn bishop guy. Dude. Casey and April are basically dead without their plot armor. Shredder,,,,,, no way. He can't be real. This must be a trap. They've made mock robots before. Down to damn soup cans. This is not my silly little turtle show. Perhaps this is a vision. Oh wow he is good. The element ninja things? I've seen faint things about an early version of the mystic powers in 03. Is this how they get it? Klunk is okay:D Karai you bitch why are you like this.

Have I mentioned how much I absolutely hate bishop? That creep isn't fully human is he. No wonder bitch boy is so good at combat. Oh no that goop is not going to be good for the sewers.

Lmfao splinter. Read em and weep boys. Aw klunk. Raph is really rubbing off on Leo huh.

Uhhh idk where I left off here or if what I had saved. Uhh anyways! Yippee casey you actually used your thinking skills! Oh shit it sounds like hun broke raphs arm- uh oh. Have I mentioned how funny it is they replace cuss words with "shell" it's hilarious (to me). Lmfao donnie with the missiles! Casey. Remember what raph taught you. Your honor. Or what your dad said ig. Oh boy. Gotta have some wicked on the fly driving skills huh donnie- yes you are amateurs. You're like 16- damn leo is going off- aw he's gonna visit his dad:( wait did they just leave leo? Awww dude:(

Oh it's that nobody guy again? Oop- lmao poor mikey. Always getting slapped upside the head lol. Dude looks wack in the shadows lmao looks like xray might be in trouble- lmfao mikey in the dress again /pos. This isn't good for xray. Yeah everyone needs to packing! (But as transmasc reference) the gang shit in 03 goes insane fr o(-( it's so funny how absurd everyone's aim is. Let's go xray. Uh. Doesnt jencko still have a gun? Who let all these thugs have such high tech weapons- uh oh- he's nobody>:) success! Lmfao he's still in the dress. Ugh hun. Oh wait wasn't she supposed to go to jail?? Wonder what they're hiding in that statue. Karai can't you just like turn to the good side. Where's your honor? (Or morals for that matter-)

Halloween episode!! Shell yeah!! (Lol) I also love Halloween:D but uh for different reasons lmao. Ofc they ruin Halloween too- lmfao raph just stabs his pumpkin. Ofc donnie uses the laser. Uh oh werewolf. And a witch and uh pumpkin king? Uh- what if it wasn't a costume. How could he be so sure before he sliced at his face o(-( couldn't he have just paid for it? Like- agreed. Carmel apples are yummy. Lmfao. Looks like raph and mikey sorta get their way? Leo stop being such a downer smh. Aw:( that's so cute. Ooo-kay. Lol. So silly how they always managed to get involved in all this. Was the door too good for them o(-( ooo fun fact. Good pearl necklaces actually have knots between each bead to protect the pearls while wearing and in the case of a weak string snap very little pearls will fall off. So a good quality pearl necklaces should not snap and go everywhere like that:) little creepers. Aw don. How powerful are their kicks? Oh dudes made of stone. Yeah:) they are nice kids:) little nicer than what you'd like officer-

Wow good quote actually. Looks like we get more usagi! Excited to see what he does this time. Agreed. Leo is losing it. Geez mikey really laying it down hard huh? Saying it as it is- raph should totally train his temper lol. Miyamoto? Haven't I heard that name before? Lmfao. Why does he have shades on? Maybe they just can't handle the light of the city. Why is leo separate from the group:l bounty hunter? Why is everyone after leo- damn. You would think more people would be after mikey. Champ of the battle nexus and all. Damn how does bunny boy read him like an open book- time to trauma dump. Maybe this is why people think he's gay /lhj. Man rabbit got some trauma of his own. HA even got big guy scared. Usagi is not impressed lmao. Casey to save crazy rhino. Raphs gonna slap him for that lmao. Uh oh. Lmao they're just in the window. Oh no. Ooh Leo's got the look in his eyes fr. Leo o(-( oo little spin move there. God Leo stop being such a hard ass o(-( move on. Crazy. Even splinter sees Usagi has a special bond with Leo. Hope I get to see him in more future episodes. Aw damn mikey lost all his comics- guess he'll have to train now lmao.

Answers to what you fool o(-( damn Leo. Maybe you should listen to your family dingdong. And your closest friend. Raph:( Leonardo dude.. guess he's getting shipped off- man the bros looks so concerned for him. Lmfao they called him a poopy face ha- Yeah he is a bit cranky. Think about the proper response. See! Think dumbass! Crazy to think he goes off on his own like this. Wow this little dude is uh? Something else lol. Did this dude really train yoshi? I have a feeling that's the plot twist. Why does this guy fart so much lmao. This is gonna be some journey for leo huh? Oh? Interesting. Finally all that just to comes to terms with something- well now I can only wonder if Leo will be back in time for the next event in new york. By the looks of it he's got a few episodes away first.

Oh. Yikes- Guess they aren't taking too easy to that. TWO MONTHS?? HELLO? That's so long:( what does kumquat mean?- shredder? No no wait karai. Dumb bitch. Oh shit. What are you doing in my house? What are you doing in my house???? /ref. Ugh foot scum. It's Karai bc she's dumb and a jerk. God damn you Karai. How is this honorable? HMMM? Damn all their stuff is totally gone after this:( how could you>:( damn you. Oh damn oh damn oh damn. Man o(-( honestly they probably should have stuck together. How were they preped underwater too- that more kitty:( it's so adorable how much mikey cares for klunk<3 damn- a bit much don't you think?- I love klunk a normal amount (lie) drilling out of here- damn can just never catch a break. Wow. Woooowwww. Great honor KARAI you asshat. >:( why is everyone so mean- um- what- what the fuck- WHAT. you know what I'm honestly surprised that she let april go. Honestly.

KICK HER ASS LEO. Ughhhhh I want to scream and pace around the rooommmm. Poor guys man:( just let them live in peace. I want my happily ever after please- aw leo found them all:) ughh leo leoooo why couldn't you just make this a supply run:/ wow leo a lot more noble than what I could have been- personally she didn't deserve mercy. I can only hope she uses this last chance for good. Though I can only have my doubts. Aw a gift :) how sweet.

I knew it. Bitch shop is part alien tech. Which is why he's even good at fighting in the first place. Oh god- Yeah I honestly for the worst for donnie everytime something gets destroyed. He puts so much time and effort into his work. Poor guy:( ewww what is that. Nasty. Agreed I too hate bugs- vile. Ewww. I might skip this one- ew didn't think I'd be getting nightmare fuel from tmnt but here we are ig- and I thought the krang stuff in rise was bad. Ain't seen nothing yet huh- Bug bite?? That can not be good. Isn't that alien language? I bet bishop has no issue hacking into any computer,, oh? April's uncle huh. Wow these people are fantastic. Is this real- in my 2003 tmnt? Peace? I see. Ofc it was too good to be true. How did she just remember all that- gross the bugs are back.

If baxter wasn't so absolutely insane I'd almost feel bad for him. Something bad happens to his mom doesn't it. Gross- ewww his finger. Dude you're like melting rn and you go to revenge?? Dude is deranged. You can't let your traumas define you stockman. So uh who's maning the helicopter? Man. *almost* feel bad. I love how donnie just steals stuff from the enemy every few mission's lmfao. Love that guy.

Omg donnie is a dinosaur guy. Woah they look so goofy. Okay he's been "under the weather" a couple times now. Holy shit what is this foreshadowing- nothing good I'm sure and probably something to do with that bug bite. Lmao they got scared. Wha- even splinter is fed up with their bull shit lmfao. Saved by a sneeze lmao. Also imagine if mikey actually changed history with the potato chips- think we scared it off? Nope. Think something really horrible is coming now? Yep. DUDE. LMAO. poor bros literally can't catch a break. Wow donnie! You've saved humanity! Again! (Except your brothers didn't die this time) ((man same as it never was goes insane-)) what. They just. They're just gone for 3 whole months. Damn- lmfao. They just be wildin ig.

Oh? Yoshi seeking revenge? Not exactly the honorable thing to do. Mikey lmfao. Raphs in trouble with splinter lmao. Story time story time!! Gender? Doesn't matter. Can you kick ass? -raph, probably. Yoshi is a natural so it seems. I wonder what happens to his friend in this. Aw. They are brothers now. Aw she cared for the rats. Tang<3 oop. Why does love have to get in the way of good relationships. They take the girl don't they. Mortu! Guardians hm? They are so going to take up the position anyways- more jealousy between the boys. Not gonna be good- Wouldn't they kinda be sister and brothers tho? Uh. He doesn't actually kill her over this right- Wooooww. Okay. That's lame dude. Shredder is just everywhere. Dude. All this over a girl. L. I wonder how old the ancient one is. Wow splinter is a reminder of failure- odd name. Interesting. Oh? What's he doing? What is this thing? Things? Huh o(-( oh boy. Sounds like trouble is nothing else.

What. What happened to donnie? Donnie and that massive brain of his. Saving the whole world and shit. Where Don then- Is that donnie? wow casey actually cleans up? Ah he's still sick. Hopefully this isn't some sort of horrible plot point. Surely he'll be totally fine. Damn poor Casey and April. They wanted to go out lmao. Never a break in new york city. They really do relentlessly bully mikey lmao. Ew god no. Tmnt is not immune to some light body horror huh. Oh boy they in area 51 fr. Did they save stockmen? Oh- bad idea dude- go get the guys o(-( why does he look like that? Ooo I wonder if that's where they got the idea for rise raphs plastron. Damn now they gotta fix donnie. I knew this cold was so much more than just a cold. Lmfao guess mikey isn't the biggest fan of case. Leo's just like. For fuck sake. Lmao. Raph deserves an F word pass from nick. Damn:( Leatherhead is so sweet dude. Geez. What do they do now? Wow. Bishop I to am going to ram my foot so far up your ass for this.

Damn bro. I mean plot armor and all ofc they get him back. INVISIBLE FLOOR TILES? (DR/UT reference) I kinda thought this was gonna be a call from the boys. So uh. Who's this bastard? Karai why are you so annoying. It's funny to see area 51 talked about outside of that one 2019? 2020? 'Storming' of area 51 lol. Hell yeah "convince" this bitch. (I hate him with a passion). Wait did the cloaked thing have to do with the basement things from ancient one? At least see what the hell is wants first o(-( how do we know he will actually help donnie? Ughhhh. DONT YOU DARE. God I hate bishop. Man this has got to be rough for leo. And the rest of them ofc. They can't just leave donnie with these monsters:( bishop really is making a deal with the devil. He is so evil. Ofc he lied. What an asshole. They're busting in to foot hq (again) uh oh. The things they're about to do for donnie- I wish people cared about me to even a faction of that degree lmao. Oh? Did the element dudes send the message? God bishop is so fucking annoying. Raphs gonna have fun with this one. "Crud" please just let them say fuck. Lmao. Man can they really handle this alone? And without that one sword. Interesting. This whole thing is one big confusion. BOOM. What does it do? Fucking communicate maybe 💀 are the elite magic? Oh? Interesting. LMAO RAPH. Uh oh. This ain't good. Dude. Talk maybe? Tell him what it is even?? Say how horrible bishop is perhaps??? Ofc they fulfilled their side. Anything for their brother. I hate this guy so much. At least explain what it does. Let's fucking go leatherhead!! Brilliant!! What a fantastic character LH is. Totally not much trouble at all. Certainly. If it were not for LH and donnie getting mutated (again) none of that containing the outbreak would have been possible. Wait? So what did that do then? Set the elements free? Yeah. Welp they're smart I'll give them that. Omg they're gonna bring that blob back?? Oh shitttt.

Magic tree man? Self healing magic tree man? With honor?? Uh? Maybe? "You tried to eat my leg" lmfao mikey is so offended by that. Even with all the angsty chaos I'm glad there's still lots of humor in this show. (Probably the only thing that keeps me coming back lmao. I couldn't handle pure angst. 2003 mikey I'm convinced absolutely enjoys wearing dresses. Or at the least flowy clothing. OOP- raph just tackles him off the building- ooo. It's interesting what they are able to build (and then build again-) down under new york. Oh? Ancient one? Again? What has begun again? Aww. They are brothers your honor. Oop. Doesn't feel too good anymore. Hm. Lmao mikey is just goofing off. It's hilarious how they play back. I can only assume these are those elemental guys? I wonder why they're doing this? Did they just want to beat them up? Oh? Where are they gonna take them? Interesting? Sounds a little odd too pin them against each other though if you need warriors you would think you'd want them all alive. Aw. We love good dad splinter. So confused. Hm. Where are these other four from then? I am beyond confused. OOOO WAIT will the brothers get their mystic powers (or 03s equivalent anyways) through this? Why does splinter need to save them? What do they know that the bros don't? Why is this show so bat shit crazy and confusing o(-(

One more season down. Honestly. I'm not sure what my favorite episodes are. I certainly like some more than others though. And I definitely and not looking forward to this being all over.

Oh I see. So they've gotten like save the entire universe again I see. Honestly I'd say, even as weird as they are, they're like the utroms and possible on the good side. Wait why exactly do they look like the shredder then? Or how would the shredder know of them then? Where's the fifth? Looks like there should be a fifth? And the underside down foot symbol? OMG DONNIE you nerd /affectionate. I can definitely see some reference taken from here for rise. This show wildin. Fr. They really just go head first into any fight huh. Bro joi is gone- Um. Okay. Um. Uh.. alrighty then! Wow this show is a lot!

Starting to look like being a skilled ninja is not all that cool anymore lmao. Donnie is a man of science and does not understand this dude lmao. Damn it mikey o(-( "oops" DUDE this show omg. Anri for raph. Inazuma for Mikey. Byakko for donnie. Banrai for raph actually? Wait what happened to Leo's? Wait what about leo D: mike. I swear. BRO IS A FUCKING BEYBLADE?! Don is a tornado. So Leo can just use others weapons? Orrr not- My oh my does this just like. Wow.

I am blinking rapidly. Alright so saki was a good guy at one point? Is this the like same blob we are talking about here?? Wow. Well. I think this is enough confusion for one night I'll pick this back up in the morning. I viewed the thumbnails for the upcoming seasons. It seems season 7 sees an art style change? And we are left on a cliff hanger. I'm honestly not sure if it's worth continuing. So the odd look humans are now god like fantastic. Wait he just becomes a dragon? How does he recover from this to go to new york?- dragon fight! (I- I guess) so I'm guessing the boys will have to learn to form laser beams out of their hands too.

So are we gonna ever get am explanation as to why Leo never got his weapon? Come on raph I've seen you become a beyblade you've got this. It makes sense how donnie got it so easily but Leo? Not getting it? Aw they really needed that support. Damn. Poor splinter:( aw donnie is just talking about his projects back home. Mikey is just sonic now. I wonder what they all will become. Leo? Also a dragon! I knew it. This still doesn't explain why he doesn't get a weapon lmao. Woah. Just the projector image of Leo's dragon melts them- It seems they wanted them to take all the pieces. In all fairness it does seem kinda dumb to keep them all together.

Dude what happened to being immortal? And like. Shouldn't they have some form of communication to tell the others to stop? Devour of dreams? Sounds like a kirby boss. So the sword was meant for leo? This is so strange. Did he know he was going to die this whole time? What. How did that just happen? Damn. They really can't have shit huh?😭 the five gumbas lmao. So they just totally killed that quiet "immortal" guy. Why did they get the most annoying voices lmao. Bro :'0 dude. What the fuck man o(-( kinda lame how these all powerful ninjas were taken out so quickly. Oh? 03 leo has portal powers too? (Sorta)

I'm gonna be honest. Despite a few small things (and how hard leo is on himself) I absolutely adore the 03 gang. I'm disappointed it's all serious shit all the time though. Sure there's a bit of goofing around and such. But not at the same level I was under the impression I'd get. I suppose this is a different iteration. Some people actually prefer the silliness to stay very limited. I don't know. I guess litte mx. doesn't like violence should stay out of cartoons with lots of action hm?

Lmfao mikey was so ready for this day. God why don't they just say sparring or training or just like roaming around idk- I've read one too many fanfics to take "blowing off steam with _" seriously o(-( man last thing we need is nanobots in stockmens hands. See silly little episodes<3 limited fighting for their lives at least-

Ah. Terrifying. Karai? Right what is she doing here? Feels like a bit of a time skip- right a dream. I've always known Karai had good in her. See this is the kind of shit that happens when chaos wins the splatfest. Smh. Damn it Karai. Welp. Guess you die now. Damn well. Looks like saving donnie is the end of the world but him dying is also the apocalypse. Interesting. Don't. Don't mercy this thing. Don't. No. Ugh. She fell for it. Damn starting to hate this things more than bishop. How are they gonna banish the shredder again tho? After all of this is finished? If the ninja tribunal had to watch over his body forever won't they suffer the same fate? But how? Dude was dead o(-( how does that work?

[musette22]

Burning For You

Title: Burning For You Pairing: Chris Evans x Sebastian Stan (Evanstan) Rating: Teen and up Word count: 3.1k A/N: Written for Evanstan Week day 6, a late fill for the Alternate Universe prompt. This silly piece of fluff is entirely inspired by the wonder that is the Mountain Lodge candle from the Yankee Candle Company. Yes, the one that inspired this iconic Tumblr post. The one that smells like Chris Evans. 

I was lucky enough to receive one as a gift from the wonderful @howdoyousleep3 and my life hasn't been the same since I smelled it for the first time. Thank you for introducing me to such delights baby K, ilyyy 💖 Also BIG thank you to the @evanstanweek​ team and to my beautiful beta @rainbowsandcoconut who came up with the outline for this fic when I told her my idea! Love you, boo 😘

Summary: Evanstan AU. Sebastian gets a little carried away when raving about the Mountain Lodge candle to a friend. It leads to an unexpected, fragrant encounter.

Read on AO3

“Listen, D. You’ve gotta smell this candle.” Sebastian leans in closer, nearly knocking over his - third - glass of red. “You know I’m not usually a scented candle kinda guy, but this one…” He closes his eyes and tips back his head, an expression of pure bliss on his face. “Incredible. Glorious. Magnificent.”

“You look like you’re about to pull a Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally over there, Seb.”

Sebastian straightens, giving Deirdre a meaningful look across the table at the low-key SoHo bar they’re having drinks at. “You kid, but I’m this close. It’s that good, not even exaggerating.”

“Sure you’re not,” Deirdre huffs, lifting her glass and taking a sizeable gulp of her Cosmopolitan.

“Fine, don’t believe me,” Sebastian shrugs. “You know, I pity you for not having experienced the delights of the Mountain Lodge candle, really. If you knew what it smelled like, you’d be singing its praises too, believe me.”

Deirdre rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Fine, I’ll bite. What does it smell like, Sebastian, pray tell.”

Sebastian sits up eagerly. “It smells…” he starts, “like an evening in that lodge in the Green Mountains we rented with the others a couple of years ago. Remember that? How it felt to relax by the fire after a long day of hiking, the scent of cedarwood and toasted marshmallows in the air?”

“Hmmm,” Deirdre agrees. “That was nice, yeah. But hardly worth busting a nut over, I’d say.”

Sebastian holds up a single finger. “I'm not done. Because this candle doesn’t just smell like the lodge, it also smells like the lumberjack living at the lodge.”

Deirdre frowns. “There was no lumberjack living at the –”

“The metaphorical lumberjack, D, god. Work with me here a little.”

“Oh right, okay. Gotcha.”

“It smells,” Sebastian continues, undeterred, “like soft, worn flannel. Like beard oil and a hint of clean sweat. It smells like a big, strong, gorgeous man who just got done hewing a ginormous tree with his massive axe and cutting it down into firewood, which he’s now using to light the very fireplace in front of which he’ll make sweet, sweet love to you, on the rug that’s actually the skin of a bear that attacked his rescue dog and which this man fought off and killed with his own bare hands.”

“Whooofffff,” Deirdre says, fanning herself with a napkin. “Fine, I’m starting to see the attraction.”

“It smells…” Sebastian goes on, pausing for dramatic effect before delivering his clincher, “like Chris Evans.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Deirdre groans loudly, sagging back in her chair. “Ughh, shoulda known this was coming. For chrissake, Sebastian, you literally cannot go even one night without bringing up Chris Evans, can you?”

“I totally can,” Sebastian protests, like the mature, professional, Times-employed literary critic he is. “But you don’t understand, D. This candle, it’s actually like they bottled the very essence of Chris Evans and then infused a candle with it. It’s life-changing.”

“Yeah, yeah, you have a permanent boner for Chris Evans, you wanna marry him and have his little bearded babies, tell me something I don’t know,” Deirdre sighs, draining the last of her drink and immediately starting to look around for the waiter to order a new one. Distantly, Sebastian notices the song playing in the background changing to The Smith’s ‘Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want'. Ah, if only.

“Listen to me,” Sebastian insists, unconsciously starting to speak louder, like he’s some small-town preacher trying to make his ignorant clergy see the light. “Deirdre, darling, you’re one of my oldest friends. I wouldn’t lie to you. I swear, when you smell this candle, you too will feel like you’re being engulfed in the embrace of the brilliant, spectacular, totally unique smokeshow that goes by the name of Chris Evans. It’s as if the man himself is wrapping those huge, muscled arms of his around you, crushing you to his wide chest as you tuck your face into the crook of his neck while his beard brushes your temple and you inhale his masculine scent of cologne, sex and clean, honest sweat, I swear to god – D, are you even listening?”

At some point during the last part of Sebastian’s homily, Deirdre’s eyes drifted to a point over his right shoulder and got stuck there.

“Did you just- zone out?” Sebastian asks indignantly, waving a hand in front of her face. She doesn’t even blink. “Hello? Earth to Deirdre.”

“Seb,” Deirdre says, still not looking at Sebastian.

“Oh, I see,” Sebastian barrels on. “Here I am, pouring my heart out, telling you I found a candle that smells exactly like the man of my dreams and you’re just… What are you doing, actually? Are you okay?”

At this point, Deirdre’s eyes have gone comically round, mouth hanging open just a little. “Sebastian,” she repeats, more urgently now – and just as he’s turning his head to find out what put that dumbfounded look on her face, someone nearby clears their throat.

Sebastian startles, looking up at the man who’s appeared next to their table.

“Hi,” the man says in a deep, rich voice.

A deep, rich voice that Sebastian knows all too well. A deep, rich voice that belongs to none other than Chris Evans, Hollywood heartthrob and actual smokeshow, himself.

Oh.

Sebastian gapes while Chris, dressed in dark wash jeans, a red flannel shirt and a brown shearling jacket, smiles at him patiently. He’s all soft-looking beard and strong nose and bulging biceps and long, lean legs, and Sebastian has died and gone to heaven.

“I’m sorry for interrupting,” Chris says, “but was just sitting a table over and I couldn’t help but overhear.”

And from one moment to the next, Sebastian crashes forcefully back to earth. His whole body goes cold, the blood draining from his face so quickly he feels dizzy with it.

Fuck. No. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. There is no way this is actually happening.

Except it is.

Sebastian had just been extremely, loudly and publicly horny about the very guy that’s standing next to him right now. The guy who is no doubt about to give Sebastian a piece of his mind at best, and a right hook to the jaw at worst. And honestly, he’d deserve it.

Since Sebastian wouldn’t even know where to begin apologizing, he says nothing. Just keeps staring at Chris in ever-growing horror, his pulse pounding in his ears so loudly it almost drowns out the miserable sound of Morrissey still pleading in the background.

Chris clears his throat. “So,” he says, bringing up a hand to rub the back of his neck. “This candle smells like me, huh?”

Sebastian groans, hiding his face in his hands. “Shit. Fuck. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean- Oh my god, please, please, please just forget you heard any of that.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

Puzzled, Sebastian chances a glance at Chris from between his fingers. He’s partly still covering his face out of embarrassment, and partly because Chris is so gorgeous in real life that Sebastian isn’t sure he could look at him directly without spontaneously combusting. It’s like staring at the fucking sun. He doesn’t seem too angry, though, thank god. In fact, there’s an amused twinkle in his blue eyes that makes Sebastian’s shoulders relax infinitesimally.

“Because it was incredibly inappropriate?” Sebastian suggests, honestly a bit confused about having to explain this to him.

“I don’t know,” Chris shrugs. “It sounded pretty great. Kinda want to smell it for myself now.”

For some unfathomable reason – probably because unexpectedly seeing his long-time celebrity crush in the flesh broke his brain, Sebastian blurts out, “Oh, I don’t have it with me. It’s back at my apartment.”

Slowly, Chris raises a single eyebrow. The look sends a shiver straight down Sebastian’s spine, from the crown of his head right down to his toes. “Is it now?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian replies breathlessly.

Chris’s gaze drops down to Sebastian’s brown leather boots before slowly travelling back up to his face. “I gotta say, normally someone would at least have to buy me dinner first, but…” He trails off, looking Sebastian straight in the eye before finishing, “I am really curious about this candle.”

“You are?” Sebastian says dumbly, and then “Ow!” when Deirdre delivers an impressively precise kick to his shin under the table. He turns to give her a betrayed look, but when he meets her eyes, with which she’s clearly trying very hard to communicate something to him, he finally catches on. “Oh!” Sebastian whips back around to Chris, staring at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “I- you- you mean like…” He swallows hard. “You wanna come back to my place to, uh, smell the candle?”

Although Chris’s expression remains amused, there’s a hint of trepidation there as well. “Sure,” he says, smiling crookedly. “If… that’s something you’re up for?”

Sebastian’s mind races. The way he sees it, there are two possibilities. Either Chris Evans is actually standing here in the flesh, propositioning him, or Sebastian hit his head in the bathroom earlier and is actually just lying on the dirty tile floor, hallucinating as a result of severe head trauma. The second option seems by far the most likely, but then, his shin does hurt like a sonuvabitch.

Well, fuck.

Sebastian clears his throat and sits up straighter, running a hand through his longish hair. “I mean, yeah, that’s- wow. That. That would be okay with me, uh huh. You mean like, now?”

“If that works for you?”

Without thinking, Sebastian says, “Well, I’m here with Deirdre –” before letting out another sharp yelp as said Deirdre crushes his toes under her heel. “Jesus, D!”

Deirdre ignores him. “Ohhh, would you look at the time,” she exclaims, holding up her wrist which very much doesn’t have a watch on it. “Boy, it’s much later than I thought. I really oughta get going, early start tomorrow.” She yawns theatrically, then grabs her purse and throws down two twenties on the table. “It was lovely seeing you, Sebastian, Chris… Evans,” she adds, with a wooden nod in Chris’s direction. “Hope you two have a lovely evening, bye now!”

And she’s gone.

They both stare after her for a second, and then Chris chuckles – a low sound that reverberates pleasantly in Sebastian’s chest. “Well,” Chris says, turning back towards him. “It’s nice to meet you, Sebastian.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Chris.”

Sebastian stands, taking Chris’s hand, which is warm and big and ever so slightly calloused, and exactly like Sebastian always imagined. “Yeah, I know,” he says, because he’s cool like that. And then, in a show of bravura that surprises even himself, Sebastian holds Chris’s gaze, tilts his head a fraction, and says, “So uh, my place?”

Chris smiles, casually dropping a few bills on the table, more than enough to cover their drinks, before taking a step to the side to let Sebastian pass. “Lead the way,” he says, lightly resting his hand on the small of Sebastian’s back as they make their way towards the exit.

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

It’s only once they’re outside and the cold February night air manages to cool down Sebastian’s overheated brain somewhat that it occurs to him to ask if Chris wasn’t at the bar with anyone.

“I met a friend for drinks but he just left,” Chris explains. “I was just waiting for the bill when I overheard you guys.”

“And you’re sure you don’t have any other plans?” Sebastian asks, because he’s nothing if not a self-sabotaging idiot.

They’re still standing outside the bar, the golden light radiating from a nearby lamppost decorated with a cluster of luminous orbs making Chris look softer, somehow. Still a Hollywood heartthrob, but also charmingly human. Unfortunately, it does absolutely nothing to make Sebastian any less infatuated. If anything, it only endears Chris to him more, which he really didn’t think was possible.

“Not really, no,” Chris replies, amusement in his tone. “I was just gonna go back to my hotel and read for a bit.”

Sebastian perks up at the mention of his area of expertise. “Oh, yeah? What’re you reading?”

“I haven’t started it yet, but it’s this history of space travel? I read a great review of it in the Times the other day, so I thought I’d give it a go.” With a self-deprecating smile, Chris adds, “I’m kind of a space nerd.”

Sebastian blinks. “Not ‘To Infinity and Beyond’, by any chance?”

“That’s the one,” Chris confirms. “You know it?”

“I wrote the review.”

Chris’s eyes go round. “You did not.”

In lieu of replying, Sebastian digs up his wallet from his pocket, takes out his Times-employee card and holds it up for Chris’s inspection.

“Huh,” Chris says, studying the card. “What are the odds.” When his eyes turn back to Sebastian’s, he suddenly breaks out into a grin, wide and boyish. “Well, I guess that explains a thing or two.”

“How do you mean?” Sebastian frowns.

“I mean, that review was brilliantly written so you clearly have a way with words.” With a sly look, Chris goes on, “which explains your colorful descriptions of that candle earlier. The masculine scent of cologne, sex and clean, honest sweat was especially vivid.”

Sebastian groans, dragging a hand down over his face. “Jesus Christ, this is so embarrassing.”

Chris eyes shine with genuine mirth as he laughs, “Hey, come on, don’t worry about it.” He takes a step closer, ducking his head to try and catch Sebastian’s eyes, which are now firmly fixed on the pavement in an attempt to conjure up a hole to swallow him. “Call me a narcissist, but I didn’t exactly hate overhearing a gorgeous guy describing me as the man of his dreams.”

“Oh god,” Sebastian mutters, feeling himself turn a fetching shade of crimson. Trying to hide his blush, he turns around abruptly and nearly walks into the lamppost.

Chris, his savior, his knight in shining armor, manages to grab him by the back of his coat just in time to avoid the imminent collision. Sebastian still stumbles, but strong, capable arms wrapping securely around his waist keep him upright.

Carefully, Sebastian turns in Chris’s embrace so they’re facing each other, though he can’t quite make himself look Chris in the eye yet. “I’m guessing you caught on to this by now,” Sebastian tells the St Christopher pendant resting on Chris’s sternum, “but I’m kind of a disaster.”

Chris just hums, lifting a hand to tilt up Sebastian’s chin with his index finger, a small smile playing on his lips. “A beautiful one, though,” he whispers into the negligible space between them, before he closes that space and presses soft, full lips to Sebastian’s own.

Sebastian can’t suppress the small sound that escapes him when their lips meet, eyes closing on instinct as he lets himself sink into the kiss. Lets Chris take charge and coax open Sebastian’s mouth by running the tip of his tongue along the seam of his lips. Sebastian doesn’t think twice about letting him in. When their tongues touch, sweet and soft and languid, he trembles, pressing closer. Chris tastes a little like beer, and while Sebastian’s never been overly fond of beer, it takes approximately two seconds of being kissed by the hottest man on the planet for it to magically turn into Sebastian’s new favorite taste. Ever.

The kiss starts off slow; a little cautious maybe, as if Chris still isn’t entirely sure it’s welcomed. But then Sebastian’s hands find their way to Chris’s waist, fingers gripping tightly, and Chris slides a hand into Sebastian’s hair, angling his head gently to the left to deepen the kiss – and suddenly, Sebastian’s entire body feels like it’s on fire. He moans, relishing the feel of Chris's soft beard scratching at his clean-shaven cheeks, and way Chris takes control of the kiss, like something right out of every embarrassing fantasy he's ever had.

When Chris hums against his lips, as if he’s enjoying this just as much as Sebastian is, Sebastian’s knees go all weak and useless. It’s a good thing that Chris is there, tightening his left arm around his waist and pulling him more securely against the hard lines of his own body – which actually doesn’t do a thing to help Sebastian’s current knee situation. He whimpers, curling his hands into the fabric of Chris’s coat to anchor himself.

When Chris finally breaks the kiss, he doesn’t go far. His breathing has deepened, warm puffs of air caressing Sebastian’s tingling, wet lips. Sebastian exhales shakily. The way his head is spinning might be partially due to the wine, but it's definitely mostly because of Chris sweeping him off his feet with his smooth, movie star ways.

Needing a moment to gain his composure before he speaks, Sebastian buries his face in the crook of Chris’s neck, taking a deep, steadying breath –

Oh.

“I fucking knew it,” he groans.

Sebastian feels rather than hears Chris’s quiet laugh; feels the vibrations of it shake his broad chest under Sebastian’s palms. “Yeah? Do I really smell like your candle?”

“Better,” Sebastian mutters. On instinct, he presses his lips against Chris’s exposed neck, eliciting a shiver from him.

“You know,” Chris rumbles into Sebastian’s ear. “I still think I need to smell this magical thing for myself. Make sure you’re not just flattering me to get into my pants, y'know?”

Christ.

“Yeah,” Sebastian nods. “Definitely, good thinking. Empirical evidence is paramount. In fact, it’s totally possible I’m just mixing things up right now because my brain’s all” – he makes a poof motion with his hands, trusting Chris will get his drift – “so I think maybe I’ll need to do some comparative research.”

Chris tilts his head in though. “Hands-on research?”

“I think that’s best, yes,” Sebastian concurs.

“Right. Well, out of the two of us, you’re definitely the higher educated one, so I’m just gonna take your word for that.” After a beat, Chris adds, “as long as I get to test a theory or two of my own.”

“Oh?” Sebastian licks his lips. “Such as?”

The wicked glint in Chris’s eyes is the only warning he gets before Chris is sliding his hand back into Sebastian’s hair and giving it a firm, experimental tug.

“Ah,” Sebastian breathes, his eyelids fluttering, the blood rushing south so fast he feels dizzy – again.

Chris grins smugly. “Such as that.”

“Okay,” Sebastian croaks. “Yeah, that seems fair.” Wasting no more time, he reaches out to grab Chris’s free hand and starts to pull him along the pavement in the direction of his apartment.

Chris, laughing as he squeezes Sebastian’s hand, follows closely behind.  

🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥

Read on AO3

[follow-your-fire]

In your tender hands

Rating: Explicit/NC-17

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur (Merlin)

Written for bottom Arthur fest 2020

@bottom-arthur

“You need to get that stick out of your ass. And you need to relax.”

Arthur bristles a little at the choice of words but holds himself back. “It’s a massage, not a holiday. How is that gonna relieve my stress?”

Freya gives him an incredulous look. “You’re an idiot. Have you never had a massage before?” she asks, and it’s obvious that the question is mostly rhetorical. Which is probably the main reason why her eyes grow twice their size at the lack of response. “Oh my God, Arthur! Seriously?!”

“You did what?” Arthur nearly spits out his coffee, glaring daggers at his assistant.

Freya only rolls her eyes at the dramatic response. “You heard me. I booked you in for one hour when you take your break.”

“You’ve got to be joking.” He rubs at his eyes in frustration. “How the hell am I supposed to squeeze a massage in? My break is one hour too, plus the commute, plus I want to have lunch.”

“You’re acting like I don’t know your schedule off the top of my head. How long have I been working for you?”

“Two years,” he replies automatically, taking a moment to appreciate the fact.

All in all, Freya is a wonderful assistant. Arthur knows she’s the only reason why he hasn’t had a mental breakdown yet. She’s punctual and diligent. Stubborn as hell and as ruthless as they come. It’s kind of a double-edged sword though. While she gets the job done - actually goes beyond her line of duty - she also takes great pleasure in bossing Arthur around. And of course, Arthur being the push-over he is, lets her get away with it.

So yeah, Freya is a godsent who saves Arthur from losing it on a daily basis. But she’s also the spawn of the Devil who loves to discover all the ways to drive him nuts.

“And four months,” she corrects. “So cut me some slack, Princess.”

Ignoring the jab - because really, Freya, it’s getting old - he comes back to his previous point of concern. “Then you should know that my schedule is fully packed today.”

“Not anymore,” she announces smugly, walking over to her desk to pick up the iPad before she returns to Arthur’s office. “I moved Masa to tomorrow at 11:15 and Cutforth to Friday at 2 pm, which gives you,” she does a quick count, “two hours and fifteen minutes for your break.” She closes the iPad, smiling victoriously. “Now, stop fretting and make sure you leave on time. I booked you for 12.:15. The commute is about fifteen minutes and you should be there at least five minutes in advance.” She grabs a pen and a post-it-note from his desk, scribbling quickly. “There,” she says, tearing the note off. “This is the address.”

“The enchanted cave,” he reads in disbelief. “Seriously?”

“Shut up, Arthur. Merlin is the best there is. He put me back together after I lost my parents. He’s usually fully booked weeks in advance. You’re lucky that he has a soft spot for me and let me squeeze you in.”

Arthur turns more solemn at the mention of Freya’s parent’s untimely passing. It doesn’t make him any less confused, though.

“Sounds more like a shrink to me than a masseur,” he thinks out loud.

“He might as well be,” she laughs, affection evident in her voice, which softens Arthur’s irritation somewhat. “You need to get that stick out of your ass. And you need to relax.”

Arthur bristles a little at the choice of words but holds himself back. “It’s a massage, not a holiday. How is that gonna relieve my stress?”

Freya gives him an incredulous look. “You’re an idiot. Have you never had a massage before?” she asks, and it’s obvious that the question is mostly rhetorical. Which is probably the main reason why her eyes grow twice their size at the lack of response. “Oh my God, Arthur! Seriously?!”

“I don’t have time for self-pampering,” he grumbles defensively.

“That’s exactly why you have to make the time!”

“That’s quite an oxymoron.”

“Shush.” She waves a hand dismissively. “Really, Arthur. You need to unwind.”

“I don’t-”

“Arthur,” she groans impatiently. “Go. Get. The. Massage. I’m gonna make sure you leave on time and I will check with Merlin that you actually turned up.”

“I think you’re confusing who’s the boss and who’s the subordinate here.”

“I think you’re full of shit and need to shut up and listen to someone smarter than you.” She turns on her heel and walks out of the office before Arthur has a chance to retort anything back. “Don’t be a prat, Arthur. For once in your life, do something nice for yourself.” And with that, she shuts the door behind her.

Arthur arrives at the place at 12:07, just in time to walk to the door as a woman walks out. He steps to the side, waiting for her to pass.

“Arthur?”

He snaps his head up from where he was blankly staring at the side-walk. “Oh. Hey, Mithian,” he greets when he recognizes one of his long-time friends.

“Don’t hey me and give me a proper hug hello,” she complains and doesn’t waste any time to rise on her tiptoes and wrap him in her arms. Arthur returns the hug with a smile on his face.

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been great but how have you been? I haven’t heard from you in ages,” she scolds him gently.

“Been busy.”

“Aren’t you always,” she scoffs, sympathetic. “Nice to see you’re finally doing something for yourself,” she says, getting a confused look. “You’re coming for a massage, right?”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I am. My assistant made me.” Oh, shit. That shouldn’t have come out.

Predictably, Mithian bursts into giggles. “Figures.”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know, Arthur. Someone needs to look out for you if you don’t,” she explains, her eyes soft and a wave of affection washes over Arthur as he remembers his uni years and their brief but lovely time together as a couple.

Now that he thinks of it, Freya reminds him of Mithian a lot. It occurs to him he’s attracted to a certain type of person. Not necessarily in a romantic sense but more in general.

His sister is like that too. All fiery and strong-willed, calling Arthur names on a good day, but when it comes to it, she’s a protective mother-hen.

So is his best friend. Lance is usually calm and collected but doesn’t hesitate to call Arthur on his bullshit, in the most loving way, though. So does Gwen. Those two really rub off on each other.

What is it with him attracting people into his life who spend most of their time scolding or mothering him? He needs to look into it later.

“I still don’t see how this is supposed to help.” He shrugs indifferently.

“Oh, you’ll see. Just wait for it.” And good grief, she winks at him. “I need to get going. Let me know how it went. You have my number, right?” Arthur nods. “Great. Also, it wouldn’t kill you to get in touch here and there, you know?”

Sighing guiltily, he humors her. “I will.”

“You’d better. Okay, gotta go. Enjoy yourself!” She blows him a kiss and takes off.

He very much doubts he’s gonna enjoy himself but if he’s lucky, maybe he’ll get to nap while the guy gets handsy with him. He could use an extra hour of sleep. God knows the five hours he’s come to consider his routine are not cutting it anymore.

He sighs in relief as he walks through the door to find a rather unassuming lobby. Given the name of the business, he expected the place to live up to its cringeiness but thankfully there are no tacky lights, no magical crystals scattered around, no candles in every corner, nor every surface. The only thing that can be considered a bit spiritual or whatever is the incense perched on the counter, right next to the business cards and leaflets. Thankfully, the scent is very subtle and doesn’t trigger a headache.

“Good afternoon! You must be Arthur,” says a voice to his left and Arthur nearly jumps out of his skin. He didn’t even notice anyone in the room with him.

As he looks over in the direction the voice came from, he finds a man, presumably his masseur - Mark, Matt? - standing in the door leading to what Arthur guesses is the massage room.

“Oh. Hey. Yeah, that would be me.” He turns to face the man, straightening his back. He must look out of place, clad in his suit, still wearing his tie.

The man approaches him with a smile. “I’m Merlin. It’s nice to meet you, finally. Freya talks about you quite a bit.”

Arthur reaches to grasp his hand when Merlin offers it, giving it a firm shake. “Don’t believe anything the little minx lets out of her mouth.” He attempts a joke, hoping his discomfort at being told his assistant talks about him is not too obvious.

He must succeed because Merlin is throwing his head back with a laugh. “She said you would say that,” he teases. “That’s alright. I like to make up my own mind.”

Arthur withdraws his hand and gives him a stiff smile. Outside of work, he has no idea how to make a decent conversation. Not upon the first meeting anyway.

Tilting his head inquiringly, Merlin asks, “You seem quite tense. Is everything alright?”

“It’s just... Look. I know you’re busy, Freya said so. And I appreciate you making time for me. But,” he huffs, knowing he’s gonna sound like a jerk no matter how he phrases it, “I don’t really care for massage much but Freya insisted. She can be fucking scary sometimes. Don’t tell her that though! And I just... I feel really out of place, okay?”

He expects to see Merlin’s expression sour, thinking Arthur is just a pompous douche. He wouldn’t even blame him. But, to his bewilderment, the man’s face is nothing but open, not a single trace of judgement.

“I won’t, I promise,” he says with humor. “If you don’t mind me asking - have you had a bad experience in the past?”

“More like no experience at all.”

For the first time, Merlin looks caught off guard. “You never had a massage?”

“No. I just never saw the point. And anyway, I don’t really have time to spare. The only reason I’m here is that Freya did some magic with my schedule and cleared it up enough to give me two hours off today.”

“Oh.” Merlin suddenly perks up. “In that case, I’d like to show you some of my magic, if you let me.”

Arthur’s brain short-circuits for a moment. Did he just hear what he thinks he did? Or is he so tired he started hallucinating? Plus, his dry spell of six months is probably not helping either.

“Um... I... magic?”

“Yeah, you know...” Merlin sweeps his hand over the lobby. “The enchanted cave? Seems fitting?”

“Oh.” Arthur chokes out. “Right. Right...”

“Oh God, I just realized how cheesy that sounds,” Merlin reflects with a hint of embarrassment. “Anyway, I should stop talking. You didn’t come here for a chat, after all.” He steps to the side, gesturing towards the massage room. “I’d just finished setting it up before you came in, so it’s all ready for you.”

Arthur gets the hint and with a deep breath, he makes his way to the room. Unlike the lobby, it’s bathed in a soft yellow light and.... yup, those are candles alright. No crystals, though.

Merlin is right on his heels. “I’ll let you undress in private, to your level of comfort.You can hang your clothes here, or you can just fold them and put them on this chair.” He gestures to the chair in the corner. “After that, lie down on the massage table, on your stomach, this way around. You see the sheet over there? That’s for you to cover yourself with. I’ll be back in a few minutes when you’re ready. Do you have any questions? Requests?”

So many questions. He goes with the most concerning one. “Yeah, um, when you say my level of comfort...” He cuts himself off. Thankfully, Merlin picks up on it.

“Whatever works for you, really. I can even massage you with your clothes on, although...” He gives Arthur a quick once-over, “I can’t imagine it would be comfortable for you.”

Yeah, no. Definitely not. And he has to go back to work after and he’s sure that showing up in a wrinkled suit would earn him a few judgmental looks.

“But really, it’s up to you. You can keep your clothes on, or just your underwear. If you’d prefer to be completely naked, that works too.”

Arthur hopes the dim lighting of the room conceals his blush. There’s no reason why a man of 32 years should blush at the thought of being naked.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Merlin echoes with an encouraging smile. “Be back soon.”

Arthur releases a relieved breath when Merlin closes the door behind him. This whole thing is even more awkward than he expected. Merlin seems like an alright bloke, if a bit odd but Arthur supposes that comes with the job. He seems nice though, with all the reassurances and effort he put into making sure Arthur is comfortable.

He wonders how many male clients Merlin gets. So far, he knows that Freya and Mithian are swept away by him. Although it’s hard to tell if it’s because of his supposedly outstanding massage skills or his looks.

He groans internally and maybe even a bit out loud. Nope, don’t even go there. No hitting on your masseur. Yeah, that wouldn’t end well. Not with Merlin about to spend the next hour gliding his large hands over Arthur’s whole body.

A shiver runs down his spine and in an attempt to push his thoughts away, he begins undressing, starting with his tie. He hangs his jacket and shirt on the hanger by the door and the rest he puts on the chair, just as Merlin instructed. In no time, he’s standing there clad only in his underwear, debating whether to leave that on or not.

To hell with it. Merlin must have seen it all already.

He ends up ridding himself of his briefs too, face going aflame as he adds them to the pile on the chair and rushes to climb onto the table, settling on his stomach and doing his best to arrange the sheet Merlin provided for him so it covers him as much as possible.

A minute or two pass with him fidgeting in his position. Whether it’s from discomfort or nerves, he doesn’t know, but then Merlin is knocking gently on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Y-yeah,” he calls hoarsely, grateful Merlin can’t see his face.

The door clicks open and Merlin walks into the room, speaking from somewhere to Arthur’s left. “You probably already figured but one hour allows for a full body massage. Is that alright with you? Or do you want me to forgo any areas? Or spend some more time on a specific one?”

Logically, Arthur knows these are all valid questions but they do nothing to help him relax. More like the opposite.

“Um, no, that’s... you can do whatever you want.”

“Alright. Any contraindications I should know about?”

“I’m not pregnant, if that’s what you’re asking.” Oh God, what did I just say? Stop trying to be funny, Arthur!

It draws a boisterous laugh from Merlin, easing some of Arthur’s tension. “Thanks for clarifying,” he says, catching his breath. “Any injuries?”

“No. I twisted my ankle playing football, but that was years ago.”

“Okay, good.” There is some rustling and thumping, then Merlin speaks again. “Do you care for any specific scent? I’ve got a variety of essential oils, energizing or calming. I have a special blend for stress relief if you’d be interested.”

Arthur winces a little at the fact he’s so easy to read. “Um... sure. But maybe not too much? I still need to go back to work after this.”

“Duly noted,” Merlin promises and busies himself with what Arthur assumes is mixing the oils or something.

Thankfully, he doesn’t take long, preventing Arthur from driving himself into a frenzy. He doesn’t know why he’s so flustered about all of this. So he never had a massage, so what? People do it all the time.

It’s just then that he notices that music is playing but it’s so soft it could almost escape his hearing. He focuses on listening in hopes of distracting himself.

“Okay, I’m all set. I’ll start with dry massage, working my way down from your shoulders. That alright with you?”

Yeah, he never had a massage but he’s pretty sure that asking for affirmation every two minutes isn’t how this usually works. It occurs to him that Merlin is doing this only for him.

He’s equal parts irritated and touched by it.

“Yeah.”

Gently, Merlin places his hands on his shoulders over the sheet. It’s just a simple touch, not even on his bare skin, but Arthur swears he can feel the heat of Merlin’s hands seeping into his own body and spreading throughout. He suppresses a sigh.

“I’ll start with medium pressure. Let me know if it’s too much or if you’d like me to go harder.”

Arthur hopes the whimper that makes it past his lips is not very audible. He clears his throat to cover it up.

Merlin doesn’t say anything. Instead, he presses his hands into the tense muscles of Arthur’s upper back, finding all the right spots from the get go.

A guttural groan escapes Arthur before he knows it.

“Too much?” Merlin asks, stilling his movement.

“N-no. No, it’s... it’s good. Just didn’t... expect it.”

“Good. Let me know if it changes.”

He stays on that area for a few minutes, lingering when he finds a sensitive spot, working out the kink. It’s a curious combination of pain-pleasure and Arthur is not sure if that’s what it’s supposed to feel like, but he knows it leaves him all pliant and floaty, so it’s probably alright.

Merlin makes his way down the spine, to his lower back, then goes back up and pays the same attention to his arms and hands.

He walks around the table and starts working on the legs.

Arthur releases a shuddering breath. He just had a leg-day in the gym yesterday and damn, can he feel it. Merlin’s touch is like a balm on his sore muscles and he exhales as pain gives way to relief.

It’s not long before Merlin comes back to the head of the table, hands grasping at the sheet.

“I’ll move onto the oil part now, yeah?”

“Okay.” At this point, Arthur will take anything. Why has he never done this before?

Merlin pulls the sheet down to his lower back, folding it over and leaving his back and arms exposed. The air of the room is not chilly by any means but Arthur shudders all the same.

There is a slick sound as Merlin covers his hands with oil before bringing them to Arthur’s shoulders again, spreading the oil over the whole expanse of his back and arms. Although the pressure is not as hard now, with the oil easing the way, Arthur finds this part even more intense, Merlin’s touch nearly searing without any barrier between them.

He glides his palms, fingers and forearms over Arthur’s back with long, confident strokes, then switches to short, firmer ones, alternating between the two.

Arthur’s vaguely aware he’s all but melting on the spot, feeling almost detached from his body despite every nerve ending being on fire.

At some point as Merlin rubs at the tense muscles of his neck, he slides his hands into Arthur’s hair, at the base of his skull, rubbing in circular motions.

This time, it’s definitely a whimper that Arthur lets out, blushing furiously.

“S-sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Arthur,” Merlin instructs in a gentle voice. “You carry a lot of tension here. Plenty of people do but you even more so. Just let go.”

Against his better judgment, he does just that. As Merlin’s hands continue their ministrations, he lets out a series of little huffs and whimpers, unable to stop himself when he starts.

“That’s it. Just let go,” Merlin repeats and puts more force behind his touch, making Arthur’s noises grow in volume.

He both welcomes and mourns the loss when Merlin’s hands leave him in order to grab a hot towel and wipe the remaining layer of oil from his back before covering him with the sheet again.

“I’ll move to your legs now, okay?”

“Uh-huh.”

He’s surprised when Merlin touches his shoulder, prompting him to lift his head. “Since I’m finished with your back, you can have a pillow if you want. It might be more comfortable for you.”

Arthur doesn’t object in the slightest, taking the pillow Merlin’s holding and resting his right cheek on it, sliding his hands underneath. Yeah, much more comfortable.

“Thanks,” he mumbles almost sleepily and hears Merlin chuckle.

“You’re very welcome.”

Then, Merlin is exposing his left leg, tucking the sheet in the space between his legs and over his hip, revealing his left butt-cheek in the process. He doesn’t even have the strength to feel embarrassed.

Merlin doesn’t waste time before coating his hands with oil again and bringing them to Arthur’s leg. He starts with his feet, then moves to his calf, then thigh until he’s worked all the way to his bum.

Arthur nearly jack-knives from the table as Merlin’s thumb presses into the middle of his cheek.

“Sorry! Was it too much?”

Arthur presses his face into the pillow to hide his flush. “I... ugh... I just... didn’t expect... that.”

“Oh,” Merlin quips. “I can skip that part.”

Jesus, Arthur, stop being such a sissy. It’s just a massage. A professional massage.

“It’s fine. You just... surprised me.”

“Sorry about that,” he says genuinely and resumes the massage, albeit more tentative than before.

Now that the initial shock is over, Arthur begins to appreciate the attention Merlin’s paying to that particular part of his body. He never knew how tense he was in... well.... there.

He whines a little when Merlin presses his thumb into a tender spot.

“Shit. I would’ve thought that going to the gym four times a week would make up for sitting on my ass several hours every day,” he grumbles more to himself.

“I think you’re doing an excellent job at the gym,” Merlin replies with humor, then promptly freezes, Arthur following suit. “Oh God, I’m so sorry. That was... very inappropriate. I swear, I didn’t mean anything by it. Not that you don’t have a nice ass. I mean... oh shit,” he starts panicking, removing his hands from Arthur’s body. Funny enough, witnessing Merlin freak out makes Arthur strangely relaxed.

He responds with a huff. “Take it easy, Merlin. I appreciate the compliment. You can continue.”

“Are you... are you sure?” Merlin asks tentatively.

“I’m sure. You like my ass, so what? I’ve been working hard on it.”

Merlin laughs, a bit nervous, a bit relieved, and eventually listens, resuming the massage on the other leg, starting from his foot again.

Maybe the whole exchange should make everything weird but strangely enough, Arthur is even more relaxed than he was before. The realization that Merlin is only human, with no filter it seems, making it easier.

Merlin hesitates when he works his way up to Arthur’s bum again, but with no complaint in sight, he repeats what he did on the other leg.

When he’s done, he steps to the side of the table and lifts the sheet off of Arthur, holding it in front of himself like a screen. “Can you turn over, Arthur?”

Arthur gathers all his strength to prop on his forearms with the intention to do just that, but stills momentarily.

“Arthur?” Merlin questions when nothing happens.

“I... um....” Well, shit. How did I not notice I was sporting a semi?!

“What’s wrong?”

“I... might have a... situation,” he admits, face burning.

At first, Merlin is silent, then the realization dawns on him. “Oh. I see. That’s fine, Arthur. It happens more often than not,” he reassures but it doesn’t help much.

“But I... God, this is embarrassing,” he hides his face in his hands.

“I understand why you would think that, but I promise it’s alright. It doesn’t mean anything; it’s just a natural reaction.”

It takes some more prompting but eventually, Arthur flips onto his back and closes his eyes as Merlin drapes the sheet over him again, the outline of his half-hard dick painfully visible.

“I can fetch you a blanket if it makes you feel better?”

“If you don’t mind,” he squeezes out without opening his eyes, only doing so when Merlin hands him the blanket and he rushes to throw it over his lower half. “Thanks. Sorry about that.”

He dares a look at Merlin and finds him smiling in empathy. “Not at all. It’s no big deal, Arthur.” He reaches for a bottle of oil and puts his hands on Arthur’s arm. “Just lie back and relax.”

Arthur does his best to do just that while Merlin massages his arm and hand before switching to the other one.

By the time he’s finished with them, Arthur’s calmed down considerably and, thank fuck for that, the embarrassment was enough to have killed any interest his dick might have taken in the situation.

He expects Merlin to announce the massage has come to an end when he finishes wiping his arms with a hot towel, but to his surprise, Merlin slides a chair behind him, sitting himself down, hands coming to cradle Arthur’s head. Arthur lifts it automatically, assuming that’s what Merlin wants him to do.

“You just relax, Arthur. Don’t help me by holding your head up. I’ll manage.”

It’s not an easy thing to trust someone not to drop your head but Merlin is nothing but cautious as he maneuvers it around to get to the spot he’s aiming for and Arthur finds himself giving up control completely. Head massage doesn’t sound like anything special but to his bewilderment, it’s the most relaxing thing ever. At some point, he even starts dozing off. At least he thinks he does because he nearly jumps out of his skin when Merlin says his name.

“Arthur?”

“Yeah?” he snaps his eyes open, looking up at Merlin upside down, seeing the other man smiling fondly.

“Did you fall asleep?”

“N-no?” he stutters, cheeks growing pink.

“Of course,” Merlin says in the way that screams he doesn’t believe him but humors him anyway. “Well, I’m all done here. How are you feeling?”

“Weirdly disconnected from my body,” he says with a grunt, attempting to sit up. “Shit, I don’t know how I’ll get any work done for the rest of the day.”

“What time do you finish?”

“Officially? Around five. Actually? Seven. Sometimes eight.”

“God, that’s disgusting.”

“You have no idea.”

“Thankfully, I don’t,” he agrees. “I’ll let you get dressed. Meet me in the lobby when you’re ready, okay?”

“Okay.”

It’s with sloth speed that Arthur puts his clothes on. In the back of his mind, he’s aware of Merlin’s busy schedule and can only hope he’s not stalling.

He squints at the bright light of the lobby when he emerges from the massage room. When his eyes adjust, he spots Merlin walking towards him with a glass of water. “Here, have some water.”

“Thanks,” he accepts without objection, just because he’s barely standing. He doesn’t know what Merlin’s done to him but it feels like his body doesn’t even belong to him. He has no idea how he’s gonna drive back to work without driving himself into a street-lamp.

“How much do I owe you?” he asks when he’s chugged down the whole glass, reaching for his wallet.

“Oh. It’s already paid for. Freya used your credit card when she booked you in.”

Arthur blinks at him blankly. How dare Freya pay for something that Arthur hadn’t even agreed to yet?!

Yeah, as if she would ever take a no for an answer.

He sighs, pulling out a twenty pound bill regardless. “She would, wouldn’t she. That little shit,” he grumbles under his breath. “At least let me tip you,” he holds a hand with the bill to Merlin.

“Actually, she included the tip, too,” he says sheepishly, giving Arthur a crooked smile.

“Bloody hell,” he huffs indignantly, then takes a deep breath. “Whatever. Just take it.”

“But-”

“Merlin. Take. It. You’ve done a great job,” he insists, holding eye contact.

Merlin still hesitates at first but resigns eventually. “As long as you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Okay. Thank you, Arthur,” he smiles appreciatively as he accepts the money. He bites his lip, seemingly in thought, then turns around and plucks one business card from the pile on the desk, grabs a pen and writes something down. “Here,” he turns to Arthur, holding the card to him. “If you ever feel like coming back for another massage.”

Arthur takes the card, noticing that Merlin wrote another number on in besides the one already printed. “Thanks but... I’m sure Freya has the number.”

“This is my personal number,” Merlin explains and Arthur’s brows shoot up in surprise. “I’m not always able to pick up the phone here but if you text me on my personal number, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Oh. Okay. Thanks, that’s very... um... I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Merlin mumbles, fidgety. Arthur finds it both amusing and confusing.

“Well, I should get going. Thank you again.”

“Oh! Of course, don’t let me keep you,” he rushes to say. “See you next time?”

“Yeah.” As non-committal as he sounds, he finds he means it. Something’s telling him he’ll be back sooner or later. Probably sooner.

“Take care of yourself, Arthur,” Merlin calls as Arthur opens the door on his way out and his heart skips a beat at the genuine tone.

He turns around to give the man one last smile before the door shuts behind him.

“So? How was it?” Freya advances on him as soon as he comes back. He slumps into his chair, sitting upright when Freya places a box of takeout in front of him.

“Fine.” Freya is not impressed. “It was good, okay?” he adds, opening the box to reveal his all-time favorite pad thai and all but inhales the food.

“Told you,” she says smugly, ignoring Arthur’s glare. “Gonna go again?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, that’s convincing.”

“Shut it, Freya,” he shoots back. “I got his business card. I’ll give him a call when I feel like it.”

“I can do that for you.”

“Nope, thanks. I’m sure I can manage to make a phone-call myself, even without an intervention of my obnoxious assistant.”

Freya throws a balled-up napkin at him. “Ungrateful prat,” she retorts and stomps out of his office.

“I heard that!”

Arthur lasts exactly four days and two hours before giving in and taking Merlin up on his offer to text him on his personal number to book another appointment. He didn’t expect to snap so quickly but after waking up the next day after his massage, refreshed and chirpy, feeling as though he had a brand new body - who could blame him, really.

Hey, Merlin. It’s Arthur. I was wondering if you had a slot available this week?

There, simple and straight to the point. Freya said that Merlin is usually booked out weeks in advance but asking never hurt anybody.

His phone chimes with an incoming message about ten minutes later.

Hi, Arthur! Nice to hear from you again. :)

Sure thing. Did you have a specific day and time in mind?

Nope, he didn’t. He was willing to adjust his schedule just to squeeze in an hour.

Not really. Freya implied that you’re usually fully booked so I thought I’d leave that up to you.

She’s over-exaggerating ;) I can make time.

Oh, God, he’s one of those people. Emojis and shit.

Oh. Okay, then. Thursday work for you?

It does :) What time?

This is... unexpectedly easy. He should have never let Freya bullshit him. But that’s what she does. She’d do anything to get her way and make Arthur do whatever she wants. No Christmas bonus for her this year!

Is 6pm too late?

As a matter of fact, he never finishes before six. Hell, he never finishes before seven. But maybe his friends are right. Maybe he should make time for himself once in a while. It won’t kill him, will it?

Thought you didn’t finish work until ungodly hour :D

He’s already typing out a reply but Merlin beats him to it with another message.

And it’s not too late. I’ll write you down for 6, then ;)

Oh. That easy, huh?

Thank you, he sends first, then rushes to add an explanation. I can make an exception once in a while. He hesitates with the next part but decides to throw caution to the wind, just this time. It’s worth it.

He regrets it as soon as he hits send, but doesn’t get a chance to wallow in it for too long before Merlin’s reply comes.

Oh no, now there are expectations I need to live up to :O

Jk. Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself last time. See you Thursday ;)

Red to the tips of his ears, he types out a quick see you before pocketing his phone, busying himself with the remaining paperwork in hopes it will calm down his racing heart.

He’s not that lucky.

On Thursday, he wraps up his work just before 5:30, hoping it’s enough time to get through the traffic.

It is, as it turns out.Though he’s cutting it close, parking the car just two minutes before six.

“Sorry, I underestimated the traffic,” he rushes to apologize when he bursts through the door, finding Merlin lounging peacefully on the sofa, swiping through his phone.

As soon as Merlin lifts his eyes to meet Arthur’s, his whole face lights up with a wide smile. “Hey! No problem at all. You’re my last massage for today, so no rush.”

“Thanks but it’s already late. I don’t wanna keep you any more than needed.”

Merlin dismisses his worries with a wave of a hand. “Nonsense. It’s no trouble. Come on in,” he smiles encouragingly and Arthur dutifully follows him to the massage room. It looks exactly the same but Arthur feels much more at ease than last time, now that he’s familiar with it.

“Thank you again for finding time for me,” he says gratefully because it feels like he hasn’t said it enough.

It earns him an indulgent smile. “I was happy to do it. It’s no trouble, really,” Merlin repeats and Arthur takes the hint.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he echoes. “You know the drill by now, right? I’ll be back in a few.”

“Sure. Thanks.”

Merlin nods his head in acknowledgement, leaving the room to give Arthur privacy.

Similarly to last time, Arthur hangs his suit and shirt and folds the rest of his clothes, laying face down on the table and covering himself with the sheet. As promised, Merlin knocks on the door a couple minutes later, entering when Arthur gives him a go-ahead.

“Any requests today?”

He suppresses the urge to crack an inappropriate joke. “Not really. Same as last time is good.”

“Alright,” says Merlin and he starts the massage exactly in the same way he did last time, humming appreciatively when he rubs at Arthur’s shoulders.

“You’re not nearly as tense as before. Both literally and figuratively,” he points out.

“Yeah,” Arthur agrees. “I felt really good when I woke up the next day. All loose and relaxed.” He clears his throat, cringing at his wording. “And I was just nervous because it was my first time, I guess. Now that I know the ropes, it’s easy to just...”

“Let go?” Merlin finishes for him and... is that smugness he hears?

“Y-yeah,” he replies, feeling silly all of sudden.

“I’m glad to hear that. Glad I could help.”

“Me too.”

They remain silent after that. While Merlin doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary - or rather, anything that would be different to last time - Arthur can sense a shift in the energy in the room. In Merlin. In himself. He might be imagining it but he would swear that Merlin’s hands... linger - which is kinda a stupid thing to say, this is a massage after all, touch is a crucial component here - but... yeah... that’s what it feels like.

Every touch of Merlin’s hands on his body feels amplified, Arthur nearly vibrating in response to... he has no idea what he’s responding to. He only knows it feels good.

It feels right.

When Merlin asks him to flip onto his back, he’s relieved to find that the humiliating experience from last time is not gonna be repeated - no awkward boners today, ladies and gentlemen!

He hisses through his teeth when Merlin presses into a tender spot of his arm.

Merlin’s immediately apologetic. “Sorry! I didn’t expect you to be so sensitive here.”

“ ‘s fine,” he mumbles drowsily. “I might have overdone it in the gym today.”

“When did you have time to go to the gym?”

“Before work. Around five.”

“God, that’s disgusting. Why would you do that?” Merlin sounds truly appalled which only amuses Arthur.

“I’m too tired by the time I finish work. At least this way, I get a bit of a boost in the morning.”

“I’m still not convinced.”

“Shut up, Merlin. Without the gym, I wouldn’t have the ass you like so much.”

He snaps his eyes open in panic and finds Merlin gaping at him in shock.

“I... I did not... ugh...”

“Oh my God, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that, I swear! I’m just really tired, basically falling asleep. I just talk shit when I’m like that.”

Forget the boner. This is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to him.

Funnily enough, his stammering helps Merlin fight through his shock and now he’s more entertained than anything.

“No filter, huh? I can relate,” he brushes the whole thing off and resumes massaging over Arthur’s arm, softer this time and Arthur would moan appreciatively at the soothing effect the touch has on his sore muscles but given his previous faux pas, he doesn’t think it’s the right time for it.

Merlin works his way down to his hand, paying special attention to the spot at the base of his thumb that is always so stiff after spending hours and hours every day typing on his laptop.

A weird thing happens after that. Same as the last time, Merlin slides his fingers in between Arthur’s, squeezing and pulling until he hears a cracking sound of the joints. That is all well and good but instead of pulling away, he remains with their fingers interlaced. It almost feels... almost feels like they are holding hands.

Arthur opens his eyes again to give Merlin a questioning look but Merlin is staring at their joined hands instead, an expression on his face that Arthur can’t really decipher but if he were to guess, he would almost call it... longing.

Merlin must realize what he’s doing because his eyes widen as they lock onto Arthur’s, panicked and so blue.

“Sorry!” he blurts out, pulling away and ducking his head as he makes his way to the other side to repeat the process on the other hand.

Arthur feels the air around them grow thicker. He doesn’t know what happened exactly and doesn’t dare ask.

He can tell Merlin keeps himself in check as he finishes with his other side and it’s not long before he moves to the head massage.

After all of that, it’s really hard for Arthur to relax but he does his best as to not make things even more awkward.

He’s equally relieved and disappointed when Merlin’s hands disappear, signaling that their session has come to an end.

“I’ll meet you in the lobby when you’re ready, okay?” Merlin asks stiffly.

“Okay,” Arthur agrees, releasing a breath he didn’t know he’s been holding when Merlin shuts the door behind him.

Since he knows he doesn’t have to rush because he was the last client today, he takes his time putting the clothes on and mentally prepares himself for facing Merlin in a few moments.

It takes all of his courage to maintain eye contact when he leaves the room, coming to the desk where Merlin’s already waiting for him with a glass of water.

“Thanks.” He doesn’t finish the whole glass, his stomach too unsettled for that and pulls out his wallet.

“I know for sure Freya didn’t pay in advance since I booked the massage myself this time,” he comments in what he hopes is a light-hearted tone. It works because it draws a chuckle from Merlin.

“You’re not wrong,” he agrees, going quiet again but shaking himself off at Arthur’s expectant look. “Oh! Sorry, it’s seventy pounds.”

Arthur raises an eyebrow in surprise. While he wouldn’t know anything about the regular massage price, it doesn’t seem too much considering how popular Merlin is. According to Freya, anyway.

He plucks out two fifty dollar bills and hands them over. Merlin blinks at him in confusion. “Um... that’s a bit--”

“Just take it. You deserve it. You’re good and you went far and beyond to make time for me even at the late hour.”

“It was no tr--”

“Merlin, will you shut up and take the bloody money?” he nearly whines at the man’s stubbornness, relieved when Merlin eventually gives in.

“You’re so bossy,” he shakes his head almost fondly.

“Goes with the territory. I’m the CEO after all.”

“In that case, that was a lousy tip for a CEO.”

“I beg your pardon?!”

And just like that, the tension has disappeared and they are back to their easy banter.

“I’m just teasing,” Merlin reassures unnecessarily, a dopey smile still in place. “Let me know if you wanna do this again, yeah?” He sounds unsure, although why, Arthur has no idea.

“Actually, if you really don’t mind, could we make it a weekly thing?”

“Oh,” Merlin says with surprise. “Sure. Thursday again? Or do you want a different day?”

“Thursday is good. Six o’clock?”

“Yeah. Yeah, works for me.”

“Brilliant,” Arthur smiles back. “I’ll see you next week, then?”

“Looking forward to it.” The way Merlin’s face softens further shouldn’t make Arthur’s stomach do flip-flops but for some reason, it does.

Oh, no. Abort, abort!

“Yeah. See you,” he mumbles and all but runs to his car.

Arthur lets out a girly squeal when Freya slams a pile of papers onto his desk.

“Why haven’t you gone see Merlin again?” she asks accusingly and... wait, what?

“Excuse me?”

“I thought you liked the massage. That you felt better after. I thought you’d go back.”

Well, not that it’s any of her business but...

“I’ve been like four more times since,” he argues back, watching Freya’s furious expression turn confused.

“No, you haven’t. There’s no way you could have altered your schedule yourself without me noticing.”

Arthur rolls his eyes, annoyed that he, the fucking CEO, has to explain himself to his assistant. “Yes, I have. I’m going today, actually. I go every Thursday after work. Well, I finish early, so I can be there at six. Which, by the way, you could have done the first time around. I truly don’t understand why you’d rather mess with my appointments to get me a rushed massage on my break instead of simply booking one in the evening.”

If anything, Freya grows even more confused. “You’re lying.”

Arthur positively bristles at the insult. “I’m not!”

“You so are. Merlin doesn’t work evenings. And he doesn’t work weekends. His last bookings are for 4 o’clock. Hence why I had to book you for your break.”

He’s already preparing a come-back to defend himself when the words finally sink in. He snaps his mouth shut.

Then why... why did Merlin agree to Thursday evenings? That doesn’t make any sense.

“Are you sure you’ve got that right?” he asks instead because... because if it’s true, it puts many things into perspective.

Like the fact that Merlin literally beams every time Arthur shows up.

Or the fact that his touch seems to linger, seems to grow more and more intense with every visit. Like he’s enjoying touching Arthur.

At first, Arthur thought it was just his imagination, but upon checking the time when he got to his car only to find Merlin had extended the massage by at least ten or fifteen minutes, it was obvious that he wasn’t making it up.

Most importantly, it would explain why Merlin started texting Arthur randomly, usually on Fridays to ask how he was doing, if he felt alright and so on.

It would even explain why he would sometimes text on the weekend too.

It did not explain why Arthur indulged in the texting.

It did not explain why it was the highlight of his days.

“I’m sure,” Freya replies, confirming his growing suspicion. When he doesn’t react, she turns concerned. “Arthur?”

“Yeah?”

She hesitates. “You’re not lying.” A statement, not a question, but he still answers it.

“No.”

“Oh,” she breathes, out of words.

“Do you...” He clears his throat. “Do you know why Merlin would make an exception for me?”

The glint in her eyes suggests that she might have a good idea about that, but doesn’t say so. “I think you should ask Merlin that.”

Yeah. Yeah, he should.

He will.

“You seem very... serious today. What happened?”

“Why did you agree on 6pm Thursdays?” he asks directly before he loses the nerve.

“Huh?” Merlin blinks at him.

“Freya told me you don’t do evenings. Why would you let me impose on your time?” God, he feels so stupid.

“Oh,” says Merlin. “Well, first of all, you’re not imposing.”

“But-”

“Second, working for yourself has a lot of perks. Like that I can do with my time as I see fit.”

“So you decided to spend it on me.”

“More like spend it with you.”

Spend it with-- oh. Oh.

“What? Why?”

Unexpectedly, Merlin snorts. “You don’t know?”

No. No he doesn’t.

“No.”

“Oh, my, you’re a right dumbass.”

“Excuse you?!”

“Arthur,” Merlin says, apparently running out of patience. “I simply like you, okay? At first, I agreed because you seemed like you could use some relaxation. Quite a bit of it, really.”

Arthur bites his lip, hesitating with the next question. “And then?”

Merlin sighs, shoulders sagging almost in defeat. “And then I just liked seeing you.”

Arthur takes in a shaky breath, both startled and excited by the admission. “Why didn’t you just ask me out, then?”

Merlin laughs, but there’s very little humor in it. “That’s hardly professional, Arthur.”

“That’s what worried you?”

“Of course it did! It does! Jesus, Arthur, you have no idea,” he shakes his head, “no idea how much I have to hold myself back when I have my hands all over you.”

Arthur swallows audibly, noticing for the first time how dry his throat has gotten. Well, here goes nothing.

”What if... what if I don’t want you to hold back?”

Merlin stares at him with his mouth hanging open, his gaze roaming over Arthur’s face in search of something. Probably a confirmation.

“Arthur, that’s not--”

“It’s 6:02,” he blurts out.

“What?”

“It’s two minutes past six. You should have started with the massage by now.”

Initially, Merlin doesn’t respond, looking as though Arthur’s talking in a different language. When Arthur holds his eyes, hoping to prove his point, he resigns on any further arguments.

“Come on in then,” he instructs tiredly and Arthur follows him to the room. He’s shedding his jacket even before they get there. He hangs it and starts taking off his tie just as Merlin turns around to face him.

“Okay, I’ll let you--” He cuts himself off when Arthur pulls the tie over his head, throwing it on the chair and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t bother,” he says, too pleased with himself when Merlin stays rooted to the spot, openly staring.

“Uh...” Is all he manages when Arthur gets rid of the shirt, exposing his chest (which - it’s not like Merlin’s never seen it before anyway) and begins working his belt and trousers open. Soon, he’s pulling them down together with his briefs, stepping out of his shoes in the meantime.

As he straightens up, completely naked, he takes a few seconds to appreciate the way Merlin looks at him, his jaw practically hitting the floor. Lips twisting into a smug smile, he turns to the table to climb on it, settling on his stomach as he does every time, except now he doesn’t bother covering himself up with a sheet.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he calls with barely concealed amusement when Merlin doesn’t move an inch.

“Uh... yeah. Yeah, let me just...” he stutters, reaching for the sheet.

“Leave it.”

“W-what?”

“No point.”

“But--”

“Merlin,” Arthur says darkly, “leave it.”

Thank fuck, Merlin actually listens and abandons the sheet in favor of grabbing a bottle of oil, pouring some in his hands with trembling fingers.

“Arthur...” he tries one more time, hesitant.

“Merlin,” Arthur returns. “Shut up.”

He hears Merlin exhale shakily and then, the familiar sensation of oil-slicked hands takes over all of his senses. He sighs in relief when the touch causes his body to go completely lax as it always does.

Merlin’s hands are unusually tentative, like he’s still not sure he’s got Arthur’s permission to touch him - like this - after what he admitted to him. It’s for that reason that Arthur starts making deliberate noises of pleasure, humming softly, or outright groaning and moaning when Merlin arrives to a particularly sensitive spot.

Above him, Merlin begins making noises of his own, but he sounds more pained than anything. Out of curiosity, Arthur turns his head to the side to peer at Merlin, just to be able to see what expression is on his face right now.

He doesn’t get that far because all of his attention is stolen by the very visible, very prominent bulge pressing against the front of Merlin’s trousers.

“Shit,” he utters before he can stop himself, feeling his dick twitch helplessly where it’s almost squashed between his body and the table.

Immediately, Merlin freezes on the spot, his breath hitching.

“I... Arthur...”

Arthur lets out another moan at witnessing Merlin’s obvious desire for him and returns his head to the previous position.

“You can do my legs now,” he says suggestively, but it sounds more like an order. For a moment, nothing happens. Merlin doesn’t withdraw his hands but he doesn’t move either. Arthur is about to impatiently prompt him to action but in the end, Merlin goes willingly, moving around the table until he’s standing at Arthur’s feet.

He covers his left leg with oil and proceeds to massage it from the foot up, almost as if nothing unusual is happening.

It’s not until he makes his way past the knee, to the hamstrings and inner thigh, that Arthur feels him falter, the pressure letting off and in a desperate attempt to urge Merlin on, he spreads his legs further apart.

Behind him, Merlin makes a choked off sound, his grip on Arthur’s thigh tightening.

“A-Arthur,” he says like a prayer and Arthur feels himself grow harder the lower Merlin’s voice drops.

“Go on,” he orders and this time, Merlin recovers faster, sparing barely a few seconds before he starts rubbing his thigh in circular motion, slowly working his way up, up, all the way to his ass - his very exposed ass.

“Arthur,” Merlin whispers, barely audible, but Arthur hears him all the same. He knows what he’s asking and in lieu of an answer, he digs his knees into the table to push his hip up and back, groaning when the movement provides friction to his now fully erect cock.

“Do it,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut. “Please.”

Merlin makes an indescribable sound and then his slick fingers are dipping tentatively between his cheeks, brushing against his entrance.

Arthur feels his pulse quicken, heat spreading throughout his whole body at the single touch.

“Gods, Arthur, the sounds you make...” Merlin praises, rubbing at his opening in tiny circles.

“Merlin,” he returns, attempting to spread his legs further apart. Merlin all but growls at the display and then he’s bending over to pepper kisses over Arthur’s naked shoulders, even as his fingers press against him more insistently.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Arthur,” he mumbles into his skin and Arthur trembles at the soft-spoken words.

“Fuck me,” he moans, hitching his hips up. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Shit, Arthur, you can’t just.... can’t just say stuff like that.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just hurry up and get on with it,” he tries to sound irritated but it falls flat when a whine is torn out of his throat as Merlin enters him with one finger.

“Shit. Shit...”

“Payback,” Merlin laughs, kissing just behind his ear.

“Merlin, I swear to God...”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say,” he retorts with fondness and starts pumping the finger in and out.

Satisfied when Merlin actually listens, Arthur is able to relax again, offering himself to Merlin’s skilled hands.

He is nothing but gentle as he works Arthur open, adding more oil before a second finger joins the first, then a third one.

Under him, Arthur’s rolling his hips against the table, seeking as much friction as he can because Merlin’s taking too bloody long, checking on him every two fucking minutes. Just as he’s about to call him out, the fingers brush against his prostate, successfully stealing all the words out of his mouth, together with his breath.

“Fuck,” he grips at the edge of the table, struggling to breathe.

Merlin chuckles at his reaction. “You like that?” he asks smugly, totally unhelpful and unnecessary and hits that spot again.

“Would l-like it better if you f-finally got your dick in m-me,” he trips over his tongue, panting.

“Impatient,” Merlin clicks his tongue but before Arthur can tell him where he can stick it (pun intended), Merlin’s fingers leave him.

His breath hitches at the sudden emptiness and in hopes of speeding up the process, he gathers his strength to hitch himself up until he’s on all fours. He expects Merlin to climb up behind him but instead, there’s a hand on his shoulder, prompting him to twist to the side.

“Not like that,” Merlin explains, nudging him until he’s turned over completely, facing him. “I want to see you.”

Arthur wants to crack a joke, call Merlin sappy and whatnot, but he can only blush.

“Oh.”

“Can you sit on the edge?” Merlin instructs, helping him to get into position. He manages just fine by himself, sitting on the side of the table with his legs hanging off. He watches, mesmerized, as Merlin rids himself of his T-shirt and trousers in under ten seconds, feeling accomplished at seeing him so impatient himself even though he chastised Arthur for it only minutes ago.

“Eager, are we?” he teases, hearing the blood rush in his ears. Merlin gives him a dark look, clearly disapproving of his tone, and takes the final step until he’s standing between his open thighs, grabbing him by the hips and pulling forward.

The movement is so sudden that it sends Arthur flat onto his back, hips hanging off the table. Merlin nudges him to wrap his legs around him and braces himself against the edge with his hands.

“You’re such a bloody tease,” he chides with a shake of his head.

“Shut up, Mer-- fuuuck,” he nearly chokes as Merlin’s cock breaches him without a warning, sliding in fully with one push. “Shit.”

“Okay?” Merlin checks with a quake in his voice, proving he’s not as collected as he makes himself to be.

“Y-yeah. Just move already.”

Merlin chuckles. “So bossy.” Then proceeds to do just that. He pulls back almost completely before pushing back in, again, and one more time until he’s settling into a rhythm.

It takes Arthur a couple more minutes to catch his breath but when he does, he focuses on meeting Merlin halfway, although the position barely allows it.

“M-Merlin.”

Merlin snaps his hips almost violently at hearing his name tumble from Arthur’s lips in that tone and Arthur moans loudly when he drives directly into his prostate.

“Fuck! Fuck, Merlin. R-right there.”

“God, Arthur. It‘s so good. You’re so good.”

Arthur keens at the praise, urging Merlin to go faster.

Instead, Merlin halts all the movement, earning a desperate whine from Arthur. He chuckles at the reaction and leans forward to slide his hands underneath him to pull him up until he’s sitting up, their chests close enough to touch.

“Arthur,” he whispers in the space between them before there’s none because suddenly, Merlin’s crashing their lips together, unexpected and so good. He swallows the surprised sound from Arthur’s lips, licking into his mouth.

Arthur moans in agreement, wrapping him in his arms and deepening the kiss.

Merlin grabs him by the hips again and starts a new rhythm, his thrust shorter but harder.

Arthur whimpers against his lips, squeezing Merlin between his thighs. He gives up any effort to help Merlin out and decides to kiss the living hell out of him while Merlin plows his ass.

It works just fine and it’s not long before Merlin’s thrusts grow erratic and uncoordinated.

“A-Arthur,” he chokes out between kisses. “I’m gonna...”

Instead of replying, Arthur takes his lips in another kiss and clenches around his cock, drawing a hiss from him.

“Arthur!”

“Yeah, come on,” he encourages and clenches his ass again.

Merlin manages two, three, four more thrusts before he stills, buried to the hilt and spills himself inside Arthur. He presses his face into the crook of Arthur’s neck, panting against the sweaty skin while his hips continue their subtle grinding motion.

Arthur presses a kiss to his temple, sliding his fingers through the dark locks, marveling at the silkiness.

Merlin lifts his head to peer at him from under his lashes. His pupils are blown wide, overtaking all the blue of his irises. There’s a lovely flush to his cheeks and the way his fringe sticks to his sweaty forehead is almost endearing.

Arthur’s never seen him like this and he wants to appreciate the view but doesn’t get much time because then, Merlin is untangling his legs from around him and slides to his knees in front of Arthur. He gives him a little smirk before opening his mouth wide and swallowing his cock.

“Nngh!” Arthur yelps with surprise, throwing his head back in unexpected pleasure.

“Shit, Merlin.”

Merlin hums around his cock and starts sucking him in earnest. It feels so good he can’t even feel embarrassed when he feels Merlin’s come leaking out of him and to his shock, he also feels Merlin’s fingers slide into him again, hitting his prostate with deadly precision. “Merlin!”

It barely takes another half a minute before Arthur’s screaming himself hoarse as his orgasm overtakes him and he comes in Merlin’s mouth. Still, Merlin’s mouth doesn’t leave him, working him through his release instead until he’s whimpering from over-sensitivity and pulling at his hair to pry him off.

Merlin releases his cock with an obscene sound that echoes in the small room, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he stands up between Arthur’s open legs.

“Are you okay?” is the first thing he asks and Arthur can’t help but laugh.

“Are you for real?” Merlin just blinks at him. “We should have done that ages ago, instead of the massage.”

Merlin groans in annoyance. “That’s not the nature of my business, Arthur!”

His irritation only amuses Arthur further. “You could make an exception for me,” he teases, pulling Merlin closer and Merlin goes willingly, although the scowl is still on his face.

“That depends on how much you’ll tip me,” he shoots back.

“Oh, I’ll tip you all you want, Merlin.”

Merlin slaps the back of his head gently. “You’re incorrigible.”

“Hmm. But I think you like it,” he says smugly, pulling him into another kiss, letting out a moan when he tastes himself on his lips.

“You’re awfully confident for someone who just got fucked on a massage table.”

“You mean for someone who just talked his masseur into fucking him on a massage table.”

“I think manipulated is better-fitting.”

“Or seduced.”

Merlin scoffs. “You did not seduce me.”

“Oh, really?” he teases. “I’d say you gave it up pretty easy after seeing me in my birthday suit.”

“I did not!”

“You did, though.”

“Your mind is misleading you.”

“Whatever you say,” Arthur concludes dismissively, then gives Merlin a wicked grin. “Next time, you’re gonna lie down on this table and I’m gonna ride you.”

Unsursprisingly, Merlin all but chokes on thin air. “That... uh... sounds... agreeable.”

“I’ll say.”

“You’re so annoyingly confident.”

“Just because you make it so easy.”

“Arthur.”

“Merlin,” he huffs. “Shut up. And kiss me again.”

And for once, without a single protest, Merlin does just that.

OMFG, Merlin! You DIDN'T!

Huh?

Don't "huh" me! You know bloody well!

Apparently not.

You fucked my boss!

!!! JFC, I can't believe he told you! :O

I sent him your way so he got that stick out of his ass. Not for you to replace it with your dick!

He didn't. His limp did, jsyk.

He could have hurt his leg or something...

And he brought me coffee. He'd never brought me coffee before! I've never seen him in such a good mood!

Your welcome :-*

*You're

That's disgusting. I'm never getting a massage from you ever again!

Oh, well... it was worth it :-p

*Freya has left the chat*

[keyofjetwolf]

Hi would you like some rage about She-Ra season 5?

If the answer is no, please don’t click below. For real. Really for real. I’m not looking to piss in anyone’s Cheerios. I think if you were satisfied (or better!) with the show, that’s fantastic and I envy you. As I have always said, love what you love. My opinion is mine and means precisely nothing beyond that. If you think you may be even a little bummed reading about how someone didn’t like it, skip this post and go on with your day, I promise you’re not missing anything worthwhile.

IN A SIMILAR VEIN: If -- before, during, or after reading -- you feel inclined to argue with me, I am begging you to please not. I cannot begin to tell you how much I don’t want to be argued with on this right now. I’m still extremely disappointed and cranky, and I’m not much in the mood to have a measured, reasoned debate about my feelings. Much as my opinion has no bearing on you, your opinion has no bearing on me, and as I’m giving you the option to opt out, I’d appreciate the same courtesy. If you want to write your own post on your own blog, go nuts! Just please leave me out of it. I PREFER TO BE CRANKY AT TELEVISION SHOWS THAN PEOPLE.

The rest of you, come on down. I don’t promise coherency, but I DO promise a lot of stuff said in all-caps!

---

Hello! Thank you for joining me! We watched the remaining few episodes of She-Ra last night! I hated them! Yaaay!

What did I hate? OH HO HO MANY THINGS FRIENDS MANY THINGS. It’s not just stuff from the final couple of episodes either, I want to clarify. It’s the entire final season, settling on last few episodes like the freshly fallen snow on your front lawn that some frat boys decide to pee their names into. By the time we’d gotten to these last episodes, there was really nothing left for me but confirmation of all the shit I’d come to hate. SO THANKS I GUESS FOR PROVING ME RIGHT

Which isn’t to say there was nothing to enjoy in the final episodes! There was!

5. She-Ra’s Triceps. GET BUFF GIRL. I LOVE how Adora and She-Ra look similar, but very much not identical. Adora’s no slouch when it comes to physical stuff, but they go the extra mile to show us how She-Ra is that much more. HOW RARELY DO YOU GET TO SEE A WOMAN WITH MUSCLES. I’ve been nothing but impressed by the ways the show drew the line between Adora and She-Ra, and however I felt about its handling of other elements, it didn’t let me down here.

4. Sometimes A Family Is A Twink, A Lizard, And Their Imp Baby. I don’t have further commentary on this, and I need none.

3. Welcome Home, Daddy. THIS WAS SO SPECTACULAR. Glimmer had, I would argue, the most realized arc in the story. It was so gratifying to see this as a culmination, not just of her own struggle with her magical power and ability to harness it, but her willingness to do what needs doing, however personally difficult. That was a stumbling point Angelica could never overcome, continually trying to micromanage and protect Glimmer rather than trusting her and recognizing her for the asset she was. Also though, more succinctly: YESSSS BITCH

2. A Shanty! THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS PERFECT NO NOTES. Just the right blend of silly and sincere, a genuine delight as even brainwashed Mermista had had enough of Sea Hawk’s shit, AND so much more clever than it seemed at first glance. THIS IS THE ONLY VALID HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN SHE-RA I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME

1. Shadow Weaver. SHADOW FUCKING WEAVER. What a complicated, fascinating character, bar none the most interesting in the entire series. I do think they pulled their punch right at the very end with her, but I AM capable of remembering I’m watching a kid’s show, so I can only get so disappointed about it. Mostly, she remained a beautifully morally complex character, and she was one of my greatest personal delights from beginning to end*.

(*) Boy did this show have one single solution for mommy issues though.

THAT WAS ABOUT IT. So let’s get to why we’re all really here, and that is MY SCREAMING OH MY GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN

Nah, I know exactly where to begin.

GLIMMER AND BO JESUS MCTRISKET I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AND SHOWER THE UNIVERSE IN THE SHRAPNEL OF MY HATE

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

WHERE DID IT COME FROM

HOW CAN I SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HATEFUL SPEWHOLE THAT SIRED THIS BULLSHIT

WHY WHY IS THIS HERE WHY IS THIS IN MY FACE WHERE MY EYES HAVE TO SEE IT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THIS IS THE MOST UNNECESSARY SHOEHORNED IN HET ROMANCE FUCK A DOODLE NONSENSE I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO BEAR WITNESS WHAT IS IT DOING IN THIS OTHERWISE EXPONENTIALLY GAY CARTOON

WERE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS

WHY ARE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS I ASSURE YOU WE ARE COVERED BOTH HISTORICALLY AND FICTIONALLY

ALSO NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED HETEROSEXUAL PERFECTION

NO MERMISTA NO WE ARE NOT ALL JUST LIKE OKAY WITH THIS

Oh my FUCKSTICKS, I could’ve rolled with so much more that angers/disappoints me about She-Ra’s ending if every single thing I feared about this hadn’t proved true.

AND. IT. WAS. SO. UNNECESSARY.

What exactly did pairing off Glimmer and Bo do for the story? For their characters? THIS IS THE PART THAT’S STABBING ME IN THE DELICATE WEBBING OF MY TOES. Because -- COME WITH ME A MOMENT SWEET ANGELS -- because I was under the impression that, oohhhh, I dunno, FRIENDSHIP WAS A HUGE FUCKING IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PASTEL HELLSCAPE

Is it, She-Ra? IS IT REALLY???? When not one but BOTH of your childhood friendship pairings end in romance? When you close out your five seasons with romantic relationships so painfully and specifically sown across the character landscape like an overzealous gardener turned loose on the world?

You know what you have at the end? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

THIS ISN’T A BEST FRIENDS SQUAD IT’S A DOUBLE DATE THAT NEVER MERCIFULLY ENDS

And again I ask, Why?? What was it about Glimmer and Bo’s relationship that needed them to become romantic? What was LACKING that this was the solution?

THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN SHITTING MIND I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS INSIPID MYOPIC TRASHBAG OF A CONCEPT

I believed She-Ra’s entire premise about friendship, I believed it wholeheartedly, and I’m so PISSED that at the close of day, narratively, it swept it all the bin. AND YES, YES IT DID, otherwise, WHY IS IT THERE. It serves no story-based need, it serves no character-based need, it has no NEED at all. So is it meant to be a “reward” to Bo and Glimmer for winning the war, as if their lifelong friendship were not reward enough? Is it meant to show they’ve walked through the flames and emerged with stronger, deeper bonds, because of course a relationship can only go SO deep without fucking. There’s no avenue to Romantic Relationship that doesn’t simultaneously point to something lacking in Platonic Relationship, AND I AM FURY PERSONIFIED

I am so tired of this. I’m SO TIRED of this.

And it didn’t need to be there. They didn’t even TRY to give us a good reason. That may be the part that makes me the angriest. Of COURSE they hook up romantically, of COURSE their platonic love would grow into “more”.

Fuck YOU, She-Ra. I thought you were better than that. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO BETTER THAN THAT

THEN THERE WAS CATRA

I get it, I guess. I mean, I think it’s shittily written, but I GUESS. Honestly, end of day, I just don’t care about Catra enough to really get too angry about it, particularly when as I’m so fucking incendiary over something much more important to me. But it’s also the show’s greatest creative failure, and even if I HADN’T gotten angrier at other choices, it would’ve still cut its own legs out from under it.

Catra’s “redemption” was weak and sad and did a disservice to her and everyone involved. She started self-centered and shitty, and she ended just as self-centered and shitty, only we’re fine with that now. She learned nothing and changed nothing, but also nobody ever demanded it of her, so I can only lay so much at the character’s feet. The problem is ultimately creative, where I think Noelle Stevenson got lost in her own love of the character, and somewhere along the way forgot that if you take them out that far, you have to be willing to walk them the long road back. Compare to poor Glimmer, for fuck’s sake, whose greatest sin was being desperate enough to be manipulated by the character whose entire fucking DEAL is being THE manipulator. How much shit did she get for that? How long was she punished? Meanwhile Catra becomes THE Big Bad for a while, nearly unravels all of reality in a fit of supreme lesbian angst and self-pity, directly leads to the death of the planet’s ruling monarch who also happens to be GLITTER’S MUM and DIRECT FRIEND TO THE SHOW’S HEROES, but that’s fine, you did one sorta good thing one time and even though it was also wrapped in a thick film of self-pity and a final fuck-you at Adora, all is forgiven!

Speaking of, Adora suffers just as much from stunted growth. From the beginning, her thing was control, unable to free herself from the responsibility of everything and everyone. What did we have at the end? Adora as the only one who could save everything and everyone. Yeah, they kept asking what it was SHE wanted, BUT THEN SHE NEVER ACTUALLY GOT TO CHOOSE. NOT activating the failsafe wasn’t an option for her, and while she wound up not having to die to do it, even that wasn’t her choice in the end, it was Catra’s. (Don’t even get me started on her nth hour “You love me?” fuckery when it wasn’t once for one single second shown to be a question of such life-turning importance.)

All of which could be interesting! That Catra and Adora went through all this, came so far to wind up right where they started? AWESOME. LOVE IT. FUND IT. But really all that happens is nobody minds now that Catra’s a self-involved little shit and tee-hee another Best Friends Squad Mission being bullrushed by Adora within five minutes of ending the last one isn’t that funny?

I can’t even dig much enjoyment out of Adora and Catra as a trope subversion (if one of them was a male, their romantic involvement wouldn’t have even been a QUESTION), because the show lost its fucking mind with romantically pairing everybody off in the final five minutes. WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO MY PREVIOUS SCREAMING SO I’LL STOP THERE.

There was other stuff, of course. I think it was a TERRIBLE decision to spend the last season with the focus split between the two groups of rebels, and writing half the cast into brainwashing. I think the Nettossa and Spinnerella stuff was wasted and lacked any punch at all because the show for some reason or another couldn’t be bothered to let us spend any time with them to care. The waste of Scorpia and Mermista especially (to people named Jet Wolf who are me) was fucking CRIMINAL. Speaking of Scorpia, wouldn’t her showdown with Bo have been so much more poignant if they’d had really any kind of interaction before that moment to build from? (Sure, it’s Scorpia, so if you’re going to sell the lack of context with anyone it’s her, BUT ALSO.) Hey, remember Huntara? No? NEITHER DID THE SHOW.

All my details aside though, MY MANY MANY MANY DETAILS, what kills/rages me most about She-Ra was how so much potential from the first four seasons was just flushed away. Whether it was the creative team shooting itself in the foot or corporate pressure and rushing from Netflix, I don’t know. I don’t CARE. This is the show I was given, so this is the show I have, and that kind of fall after that kind of potential doesn’t just irritate me, it makes me SAD. I wouldn’t be this disappointed if I didn’t think it could have been -- WAS -- so much more.

Time will tell if I can separate out the final season from how much I loved those that came before it. I like to hope so, because I did love it intensely and loved whenever I got the chance to really dig in and talk about it.

WHATEVER ELSE I SUPPOSE I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS

Again please remember that I am not at present looking to argue or debate my feelings and opinions. I get to just be angry and disappointed, as a treat!

[jeromesxreader16]

Such A Joker (46)

Part 45 Here!!!

~o0o~

As we arrive in town Jeremiah holds my hand tightly. I lean on his arm smiling up towards him. "You're going to be okay." He nods letting out a shaky breath. "I know. I'm worried about what he will say about you. He will be mad." I nod looking away. "He won't know. I'll be going straight to the roof." His eyes grow sad as he gazes at me. "I won't see you again will I?" I smile at him and rest a hand on his cheek admiring his green eyes. "I don't know, Jer. I hope Jerome is going to be locked up and then we can move on. For the better."

Jeremiah nods placing his hand over my own. "Then this is goodbye, (Y/n)." I sigh look upon the sea of frightened citizens. "Until we meet again, Jeremiah." He grabs me smashing his lips upon mine. As my father pulls him away from me he calls out, "I love you!" I cover my mouth smiling.

I quickly run-up to the roof seeing both Bruce and Jeremiah hooked up to their bombs.

"No parent will admit it, but everyone's got their favorites. Right, brother? The one who cleans their room does their homework, doesn't try to kill everybody. Little Mr. Perfect here. Yeah. He was that guy. He got adopted by rich folks. I went to the top schools, then, a top college. Meanwhile, I got dragged through the circus by my depressed alcoholic mother. Forced to clean up elephant dung every day! Do you know how big those things are, folks? But I know something that Mommy and Daddy, they never knew."

Jerome smirks at his brother as he tells their tragic story. "You're as crazy as I am. It's in your DNA. See, we got the same blood running through us. We are practically identical. You are a killer. It's your nature. Stop trying to fight it. You changed (y/n). Pumped lies into her head of sanity. Took her away. I've got a plan for both of you."

Jerome opens a knife and slides it into Jeremiah's hand. "This is your chance, brother. Take your best shot."

Jeremiah screams lunging at his brother. Jerome simply doges it and punches him in the face. Gunfire rings out from the streets below. I lean over watching the chaos and losing sights on Jerome and Jeremiah.

As the panic increases, a blimp glides over the Square. The door to the rooftop burst open and a bleeding Jerome stumbles over to me laughing. "Look at her! Isn't she beautiful?"

Jerome looks to me pulling me to dance with him. "I'm not dumb, doll. I know where you've been." He squeezes my side sharply causing me to flinch. "You've been shot, Jerome." "Aw, what about that." He walks me over near the edge standing up on it and overlooking at his creation.

"Hands up." My father's voice rings out from behind us. Jerome turns around chuckling. He pulls out his phone raising a finger, "Just give me a second. Got to call the pilot. Tell him he's in position." In a split second Jerome's wrist is shot making him drop the phone.

"Not cool." He groans glaring at Jim.

"Jerome..." I state watching him with sad eyes.

He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. Too late, anyway. Bombs away!" He shouts as another gunshot sounds. I scream as it enters his abdomen.

Jerome looks down at his wound. "Funny." He falls back making me run after him. "No!" My father grabs me as we both view Jerome dangling.

Jerome looks at me and smiles. This is where we end.

"You gonna let me fall and die? Or are you gonna pull me up and arrest me? What's it gonna be? Lawman or murderer?" I reach down but Jerome doesn't reach for me. "Dad... Please."

Jim reaches down but Jerome laughs swatting his hand away and hanging onto the pole with just his hands.

"Ah. Good ol' Gordons. The two of you! Always playing by the rules. That's why I'll outlive you. That's why I'm loved. It's why she loves me! 'cause I don't give a damn about the rules." He chuckles looking at the both of us.

"Jerome, grab my hand." He shakes his head smiling.

"It's a long way down. You sure you'll outlive me?"

"Oh, I'm sure. 'cause I'm more than a man. I'm an idea, a philosophy. And I will live on in the shadows within Gotham's discontent. I'll always be a part of you won't I, (y/n)? Say... Let my bro take care of you." He cackles blowing me a kiss. "You'll be seeing me soon. Au revoir!" Jerome lets go falling to the ground and onto a parked car ending his last seconds in Gotham.

My chest burns as his smile stay wide. His eyes looking up at me. I cry into my father's chest as he holds me. "It's alright, (Y/n). I'm here. I got you."

~

As we get down to the ground people are gathered around Jerome's body. "GCPD. Everybody get back!" Jim yells causing others to thin out.

Only leaving a few including Jeremiah. I walk over pulling on his sleeve. "(Y/n). Oh my god." He wraps his arm around me tightly. "I'm so sorry." I shake my head. "It's okay. He's in peace now."

He looks down at me with puffy eyes. "Can I come home?" I ask quietly. He smiles and cups my cheek nodding. "Of course you can. I wouldn't have you anywhere else."

"Mr. Valeska. Ms. Gordon. I'm sorry for the loss."

"Jeremiah, I meant what I said about your work being of importance to this city. Let Wayne Enterprises fund your work with a grant." Bruce offers with a nod.

"Thank you," Jeremiah says nodding. "We'll be in touch, Bruce."

As we walk away together I can't help but feel light. I look over at Jeremiah looping my arm in his. "Promise me that we will keep each other sane?" Jeremiah kisses my head nodding. "I promise, love."

~

I walk on the cold ground barefoot leading to the office. I knock twice before entering. "You know you need to go to sleep." I sit on the desk smiling at him as he scans his work. "I have slept." I pinch his nose rolling my eyes. "That kind of sleep doesn't count, Mr. Valeska." He shrugs coming around the desk and standing in between my legs.

"Alright. How about we open these and then we go to bed?" He passes me a small ring box with a tag while he holds a wrapped box. "Who are these from?" "Bruce Wayne." I giggle shaking mine. "Must be expensive."

As we tear into our gifts the tension is thick. "Same time?" Jeremiah asks like a child at Christmas. I nod smiling with excitement.

As I open the lid a tube spays me the purple gas. I cough falling on the floor. "Ahh, honey, do you smell that cooking?" Jerome's voice cackles in my mind. "You know how it feels love. It's just like a drug. Let it in. Let it flow. Let us grow." He laughs in my ears as I scream covering my ears.

Jeremiah thrashes around screaming as well. He soon starts to laugh and his smile grows wide. "Jer!" I scream as he falls on the floor.

I start laughing remembering all the things that made my blood-red hot. The screams of the victims I've taken. The wide fearful eyes of citizens.

"You wanted a new life, doll? You've got one! BURN IT DOWN!"

~

~Two Weeks Post Spray~

I sit on the couch keeping myself occupied with my phone as Ecco strolls in, sitting beside me. "Hey girlfriend."

"Hey Ecco! What are you doing here? I'm sure Jereminah gave you the week off." She shrugs smiling. "He did, doesn't mean I can't spend time with you, right? It's been a while since we hung out."

I look at the time seeing it's close to dinner and lock my phone. "You want to grab some drinks?" She nods standing. "It's a date. I'll drive." I laugh putting on my shoes and walking towards the office.

I peek my head in and see Jeremiah reading. "Hello (y/n)." He spills out my name like honey. He looks up smiling at me.

"Hi." I swoon as I walk over to him, resting on his leg. "I'm going to have a girls night with Ecco. Want me to get anything for you?" Jeremiah closes his book and removes his glasses. "You and Ecco?" I nod confused.

"We're good friends, Jer. She's looked after me for a while now." He hums smirking. "Would you rather me stay with you today?" Jeremiah shakes his head laughing. "No darling. Go out and have fun tonight!" He pats my hip standing me up. "Save some fun for me later, doll." He growls in my ear twirling me out the door.

I wink and salute to him. "Yes sir."

~

I laugh slamming my empty shot glass down. "Another!" Ecco shouts ringing us another round of shots.

I lean my head on her shoulder feeling foggy. "This- this is great! I haven't been able to just let go, ya know?" Ecco nods, "You out of everyone I've known deserves to drink." "What do you mean? My life isn't that nuts!" Ecco's eyes widen and she dies in laughter.

"R-really? Are you joking?" "I mean it's unusual, but not nuts! At least I'm happy."

Her eyes fall and she nods. "You're really happy with him?" I nod smiling. "He's great to me." "He's always working." Ecco agues.

"He makes time for me." Ecco scoffs muttering something under her breath. "Huh?" Ecco smiles shaking her head. "What do you say I get you home?" I nod standing and stumbling to the car.

"Heels are never a good idea when I've been drinking! I don't think I can- Whoa!" I trip falling.

Ecco grabs my waist catching me as I giggle drunkly. "You're so waisted!" She cackles leaning me against the car.

She opens the passage door letting me fall into the seat. "Hey Ecco." I whisper pulling her close. "Yes?"

I turn to her smiling, "think you could do me a favor?" She places a hand on my thigh gazing at me. "Anything (y/n)." She leans in awaiting. "Awesome. Can you take my shoes off? They're so far away." I slump back in my seat closing my eyes.

"Sure."

Seconds later my bare feet hit the floor mat and Ecco raised. I open my eyes checking on her, "Ecco, are you-" Her lips press flush against mine and she places her fingers in my hair.

She pulls away breathlessly. "Don't go back to him, (y/n). He doesn't give you enough." I stare at her confused. "You're drunk, Ecco." I giggle pushing her away softly.

She grabs my chin and she pecks my lips lightly. "Okay, (y/n). You're happy and I'll keep it at that." Before I close my eyes she mutters three words I never expected.

She buckles me into the seat, kisses my head, whispers "I love you." Then closes my door starting the long ride home.

~

I sit up groaning and fall back into the silk pillowcase. A sharp giggle causes me to open my eyes seeing Jerome sitting at the edge of the bed. "You got a little frisky last night didn't you?" I tilt my head looking at him. "What do you want?" He crawls up the bed kissing me cheeks.

"How is my dear brother? Any sign of insanity yet? Yours is kicking in nicely, but he's a tough cookie isn't he?" I roll my eyes covering my head with the pillow. "He'll never give into it." Jerome pulls the pillow off my face smiling. "You never used to be this naïve." He sighs rolling off the bed and hitting the floor. "Enjoy the sanity while you still can, doll. Dark days are coming for Gotham." Jerome places a hand on my stomach smiling. "But there is always a spark of light in the dark isn't there?" He giggles, vanishing as he leaves the pressure on my stomach.

I shake my head standing, but as soon as my feet hit the floor a rush of sickness washes over me. I run to the bathroom throwing my insides into the bowl.

Jeremiah rushes in kneeling next to me. "Oh, honey, too much fun last night?" I lean on the wall breathing hard. "It must've been." Jeremiah nods helping me up. "Jim called." "I missed his call?" "No, love, he called me." I smile leaning against the counter.

"For?" "He invited us over for dinner tonight. He said something about starting up the Weekly Gordon Dinner Fest and convinced me it was going to be amazing." "Wow. He's inviting you over. You know what that means? He likes you." Jeremiah shakes his head. "He likes that I keep his daughter safe." I giggle kissing his nose. "Nope. He likes you, Jeremiah. I can feel it."

~

"Do I need to dress fancy or is this purple tie too much?" Jeremiah asks, turning around to face me. "Purple? That's new for you." Jeremiah nods tugging at it and smirking. "It is. Makes me feel fresh. Do you like it, love?" I waltz over to him with his blazer. "You look great." Jeremiah slides his jacket on and wraps his arms around me. "And you... look darling in red."

He swings me around and I laugh leaning into him. As I hold my hand on his chest I notice the skin around his neckline is extremely pale. I pull at the collar looking at the ghostly skin beneath. "Something wrong, doll?" I looked up at him and for a moment his eyes were light as snow. I blink rapidly only to see them a healthy green again. "You're just... pale. More than usual." Jeremiah smiles, shrugging. "I live underground, (y/n). Sunlight isn't my best friend." I nod as he walks us away from our home.

~

"I just can't believe you made this all alone, dad." I laugh as I help set out the spread my father had made for tonight. "I'm not completely helpless." He says picking up a plater. "Here Jim, let me." Jeremiah takes it and sets the food on the table.

My dad nods smiling. "You did good this time, (y/n)." I nod smiling at my favorite men. "Oh, almost forgot!" Jeremiah pulls out a bottle of scotch and passes it to my father. "Can't come without a gift." My father pats Jeremiah's shoulder nodding. "Thank you Jeremiah. Care for a glass?" "Please." Jeremiah chuckles pulling out my chair.

As dinner runs on course everyone smiles and laughs. I gaze at my family with a smile. "Would you look at that?" Jerome strolls out of the kitchen drinking from the bottle of scotch. "That could've been us."

Jerome makes faces at the two of them as he downs his drink. "Just look at you. Such a happy family. Why don't you have a drink to celebrate?" Jerome starts to poor scotch in my glass but looks up at me with a smirk. "Oh wait... that wouldn't be healthy for the little babe, would it? Ah more for me!"

"(Y/n)?" I shake my head looking at my father. "I-I'm sorry. What?" "Are you okay, honey? You look like you're going to be sick." I place my hand on my stomach, but remove it quickly, placing it on the table. "I'm fine, Dad."

~

As I'm drying my hair, Jeremiah walks in the bathroom. "Are you going to tell me what happened at dinner?" I sigh looking at him.

"I think we need to go back two weeks and take a recap. We never talked about it." "About what?" "The spray, Jeremiah! We both got a spray special for us and woke up like nothing happened!" Jeremiah's eyes flash with fear as he looks at me. He trembles moving towards the bed. "I-I thought it was all a dream. I've been seeing him everywhere. I thought maybe it was just a way to cope." He holds his head in his hands.

I sit in front of him removing his hands. "What has he done to you, Jeremiah?" He holds my hands shaking. "I hear everything he says. He's always in the back of my mind just picking away. Putting thoughts in my head. Bad thoughts. It's getting harder to resist, (y/n)."

I took off his tie and unbuttoned his shirt revealing his pale chest. I run my fingers over it furrowing my brows. "It started at my legs. I hate to think what it will do when it gets to my face. I'll look horrid." I laugh shaking my head. "No. You'll look just as handsome."

Jeremiah laughs, grabbing my hands again. "And you?" I smile and sigh. "Just like all of your work was reversed. I can't even force him out of my mind now. He's just mocking me about everything. How happy we are. How Jim likes you."

Jeremiah holds me in his arms as I run my fingers over his ghostly skin. "No matter where this takes us we stay together." "Always, Jeremiah."

~

I gasp sitting up in bed. "You got about 1 minute." "Until what?" Jerome leans on his hands smirking at me. Suddenly a rush of sickness strikes me causing me to invade the bathroom once more.

Jerome laughs strolling in. "If it's a boy can you name him after his daddy? Jerome Valeska the second! Has a good ring don't you think?" "Y-you're not the father." Jerome smirks backing away. "You sure about that? I bet he'll even have my eyes!"

I wipe my mouth and crawl back in bed. He's not that father. I'm not pregnant at all.

"Or for a girl we could go for-" "SHUT UP!" I scream throwing a pillow at the figure.

[calypsoff]

Eighty Two. Part 2

Robyn is not happy meanwhile I can’t stop laughing, I think for me it’s very empowering I would say, I don’t know. I mean Rihanna is giving me head if you want to say it like that, I am winning so bad. I know niggas are upset right now; I know they are hating me because I would hate me. And I ain’t scared to say that I bust a nut quick either, I mean Robyn knows how to give head, so I am not complaining “I don’t like it Chris, I don’t like this one bit. This was taken on a phone because if it was professional then it would be clearer, that guy did it. People assume I am some whore; they did when I started off in the business. They assumed I slept my way up because I wasn’t that talented, I don’t like it” frowning at Robyn saying this, how can she say this “you are literally married to me, whatever the fuck we do we are doing is because we are married. I do not give a fuck what anyone says, you were giving your husband head, what the fuck is wrong with that. You’re not a whore, don’t let people assumed of you get to you, you’re not what they say you are ok?” Robyn is very upset about this, me on the other hand I see the funny side because I find it funny. I mean I am getting head from my wife, it’s nothing “my mother is going to see it, my family are. I am going to sue the man, I don’t care. Every news outlet has it, TMZ being the first people. They are awful too, they put here Rihanna and her husband doing the nasty at Bora Bora, then they put Rihanna seemed to have dropped off since she had the baby but we can tell she hasn’t, she is busy catching up with her husband, I have people in the comments saying she is too busy using her mouth for dick then an album” I snorted laughing, I couldn’t help it “I am sorry” I apologised, Robyn glared at me, she isn’t happy but I can’t stop laughing.

Robyn is huffing and puffing because of what happened but I do not see the bad side of it at all, we are married living our best life and niggas are just being haters, I don’t see the problem at all “I just messaged Tina that I want to know who leaked this, I would like to also sue the person as this is an invasion of privacy towards me and my husband, we was at the resort in good faith that we wouldn’t be pictured, this has really affected me Tina so please fix this” nodding my head, I don’t know why she is taking it bad “but on a real, why are you so upset? We are married, we are doing married people things, so what you sucked my dick, does it matter? We are literally married; this is no news” Robyn looked up at me “do you like people speaking about how your wife mouth works? The vile comments they are making, do you not get when I say I have had this all my life, that I am some sort of slut, or whatever. I am not that, I am not having it. I am a mother; I do not want my daughter growing up and seeing that, but I guess it’s too late now” nodding my head, I mean she feels that way and I have to respect that “I get it” I mumbled “do you not see the issue though?” Robyn questioned, taking in a deep breath “erm, on a real. Not exactly, just because we are married, we are having fun, we are being us. I don’t see why we should be upset or shy away from things that us humans do, just say we was playing hide and seek” Robyn sighed out “right, and you were just biting your bottom lip and stuff for nothing?” I shrugged; women be so uptight.

I want to post the picture of me, like my finger is hovering over the post button. It’s only the picture of me with my head back and mouth open, I came. I can tell I came then, but I think Robyn is going to kill me if I do “from one to ten, how angry would you be if I posted a picture” Robyn mean mugged me “what picture?” chewing my bottom lip and then turned my phone “oh you ass” I snorted laughing “Chris, I am being deadass with you. Post that and you will see fucking trouble, I don’t like that shit and you know it. I said how much I am upset about that, and you want to post a picture of you busting a nut!?” she is so moody “Robyn, you are taking this too seriously. On god, you are with your husband. You are sucking his dick, who fucking cares” Robyn waved her hand around at me “I said what I said, you post that we are going to argue so much, I am not even going to lie to you with that. I don’t like it! I will sue you too” tapping cancel “alright, calm down. You can’t sue the very man that took your virginity now” moody ass, she is so moody “please, the man that took my virginity hit the sides” she is being spiteful now “mhmm nice” I mumbled, let me just leave her to it because I don’t want to argue.

I really appreciate the fact I have fanpages, on god I enjoy seeing it and the fact I do have fans like it’s wild to me. I don’t really do anything to have them, but I do, I follow them back most of the times, but they be lusting over me bad, reading the caption of the reposted picture the page put up, she put on that she would let me spit in her mouth, that is a wild thing to even say about anyone, how wild is that. Commenting back on the post ‘That’s wild af! Lol’ pressing send, I don’t know why everyone is going wild for the picture I posted, it was just me with the silk shirt and shades on, maybe it’s the tan that is doing it, I don’t know but it’s getting a lot of attention, more then what I thought I would get. I am just a country nigga from VA, I don’t know about this shit at all “I am sorry” Robyn apologised, looking up from my phone “for what rabbit?” locking my phone “for snapping on you, it was wrong of me. I was just angry because I have been through so much shit with the public calling me so much shit and I just don’t like it, yes you are my husband and that is fine but what we do is private. I am so angry Chris you don’t understand, I am an island girl. I was a child, but they had me on the blogs and saying I slept with old man Jay? A whole minor, they had me sleeping with grown ass men, men I never did anything with. It was so unfair, I didn’t like it but they, meaning my record label liked it, I was so stuck in this foreign place trying to make a name for myself, ok the headlines ain’t bad but the comments, they are ugly” nodding my head understanding “I am sorry” I apologised also “you’re just being a boy, you’re seeing the funny side and that it’s a good thing but to me, I don’t like it. I get flashbacks” Robyn sniffled, now she is crying.

Putting my head down “don’t cry” I mumbled “I didn’t mean it at all like that, you haven’t actually really spoke on that. I didn’t know at all, I am sorry” Robyn is an emotional mess, I feel so bad “Robyn I really didn’t know any of it at all, I didn’t know that happened to you and people were saying you slept with Jay Z, I was locked up then, so I really didn’t pay attention. I was getting my ass beat and being jealous that I am not with you, so I am sorry. I understand now, so yeah. Forgive me?” Robyn waved me off “I am not angry at you Chris; I promise you this. It’s just the whole situation of what happened to me and that isn’t your fault, remember that. That happened to me, and it happened, what else can I say that. That is why I just didn’t like it, I am a wife now, also a mother. Life has changed, so that is why” sighing out “people were really mean to you huh?” Robyn nodded her head “didn’t like, created rumours which made Bey and I fall out, we ended up not liking each other because of it, because she assumed I was sleeping with her man, I was a minor. My boobs barely came out too, I hated it Chris” smiling lightly at her “I liked it though, you know I did” she giggled putting her head down “I know you did, I never understood why but yeah, don’t feel bad. It’s just what happened to me” I didn’t think like that.

Robyn fell asleep, she is tired after all that crying, and I don’t blame her. You know what a lot of people want me to go live, this fan thing is rather fun. I just put up a selfie and they are saying go live constantly, I might as well do that because we are still on this flight back and she is asleep, so I got nothing else to do. Going live on my main account “would you like anything?” the flight attendant asked “erm, no thank you. I am good thank you” I smiled as she walked off, looking back at my phone. I have the best tan; I swear I look so refreshed. I just staring at myself on the live “what’s good?” looking down at the comments “hello, hello, hello” I grinned “thank you ma, Bora Bora weather was amazing, as you can see. My tan is impeccable” I chuckled, they are complimenting my face this much, looking at the amount of people in the live, this is crazy how fast it is going up “Rylee, is good. She has been with my mom, she is in VA. In the cold, we needed adult time” I chuckled, licking my lips “baby number two?” I laughed “no ma’am, we don’t need another baby” sitting back in the seat just reading through the comments “you saw my daughter in VA? Oh” squinting my eyes, that is Austin, he seen my daughter how “hey Austin” I mumbled, the fuck does he want and talking shit on here, I mean I don’t care for him that much.

I have been on this live for a while now, just talking shit but Drake decided to come in and comment shit which made the viewing go even higher and then Tyga, they are here talking shit about nothing “anyways, what y’all think. Would I look good in grills?” licking my top lip, I am trying to ignore both of them trolls. Seeing Drake has requested to join “man, fuck you bro. I ain’t accepting shit” I laughed, he thinks I am dumb to just accept that shit so he can troll hard ‘ACCEPT IT’ Drake typed out, side eyeing him as I did, shaking my head knowing this will be a mess “it’s that pretty motherfucker” Drake spat, I knew he would say that shit “now you know damn well, I ain’t that feminine nigga” I dragged out and mumbled “you dumb, you know they record these things I am calling you pretty” he is co-signing Rocky for nothing “Chris, you are glowing. Chubbs give me my shades, my eyes right now. He is glowing” Chubbs is laughing his ass off “you pastie motherfucker, suck my dick. Nigga built like a bad bbl job” the comment section is a mess “aigh, I love my bro. Don’t worry me and Breezy is going to be bringing out an album, this is what the fans want?” rolling my eyes “you come on my live to just be annoying? I ain’t no rapper, just when I am drunk, you know what. I left Rihanna in Bora Bora, I am divorcing her man, she ain’t here” her fans be annoying me “the snoring did it” I gasped, Drake let that slip out “backtrack! Backtrack!” I spat, hiding my face “I am joking, I love riri” I said that to him in conversation “when we meeting up, I have a tour coming up. You riding” Robyn is awake, oh man “erm, I am married now” Drake pulled a face “what does that got to do with me? I just need you to be hype man” watching Robyn walking off, she is going to be moody with me “when you’re married you know why” he got me in trouble bad, I did mention the snoring to him in conversation because I couldn’t sleep “too busy for me now huh, being behind those rocks” I just busted out laughing loudly “living my best life nigga” I really am.

I thought I would get off live and remain silent the rest of the way back to VA because I am about to get my ass whooped, I know Robyn heard that and I did mention to Drake that, but it was when I couldn’t sleep, he just asked and I mean he said it out loud now I feel bad, I am in deep trouble right now, that is all I know. But Robyn closed the car door when I was about to get in, so I had to go around the car, I am about to say it to her. I am not about to play this game because its dumb “women” closing the car door “who?” Robyn said “I just said women, you know. In general, they do the most. You know? Just a statement” Robyn kissed her teeth “you told Drake I snore, and you both been kiki about that? Like it’s funny, it’s private to me Chris. You really pissed me off, you and that motherfucker both anger me. He does nothing but get you in trouble, and you fucking right you are staying home. You now going anywhere with him, I know what goes on. City to city, girls after girls and you want to go?” is that a trick question “uhm no” I mean that is the only answer “you damn right you not going with that dumbass, and on top of that I don’t want you going on these stupid live things because you don’t know how to be quiet” she be overreacting but I can’t be bothered to be saying anything, I will when I can be bothered.

I am glad to be home, to be back in VA that is “back home bitches!” my dad pushed me inside “get inside, it’s cold out here acting dumb” I sniggered at my dad “you back, you had a good time uncle” dapping Desean “I am released, relieved, light weight the whole nine. I am good” my dad hit the back of my head “you talk too much, now get inside” I laughed going into the living room “I am so glad you are both back” Robyn was quick to go straight to Rylee, that was the first point and that is all that mattered to her “same mom, how was my daughter and Austin” I dragged out confused, what is he doing here “he needed a home to stay in Chris, my sister is away for a while and he needed to stay behind for college but she didn’t want him to be home alone” I don’t like that little nigga, I mean he hasn’t done anything to me yet but I don’t like him “nice meeting you Rihanna, I am Chris’ cousin” he is already speaking to Robyn “I tried telling you on IG, you wasn’t paying attention like that” he dapped me, like what the fuck is this.

Sitting atop of the kitchen counter, I am still questioning what the motive is here “so when you come here? And with who? Who else was here” I might as well start building my blunt, Austin rested against the kitchen top “I just came, my mom rang, and she accepted. Just me, that is it. Auntie J said that they are not accepting visitors right now because Rylee is here. I haven’t taken no picture of her, promise” licking my lips “your brother wants to kill me and you’re here in my home, does it make sense? It doesn’t. None of you fucking like me bro” they are using my mother “I ain’t ever say that to you Chris, shit went sideways when that happened, and I get it but I mind my business. He is in jail for being a crazy nigga, I am not him. I am in college wanting to be something” I still don’t trust me “none of you were at my wedding, I don’t fuck with any of you” I shrugged “that is you though, Uncle Clinton hid you away because we were after you. If we were then we could have, we have never attacked you” Robyn walked into the kitchen “can I speak to Chris in private please, just for a second” that look, I have done something wrong because she is not impressed. Let me prepare myself for this “gotchu” Austin moved off, Robyn made her way to me “you stopped being mad yet?” she is all uptight “you haven’t held Rylee yet, running away from her but anyways. What did you say about my ex?” furrowing my eyebrows “which one?” I questioned “Rakim Chris, what did you say about him?” I shrugged “I have no idea, we was just having fun” I bet some shit has offended someone “you called Rakim feminine which has now caused drama, now I have my husband on shade room and my ex throwing shots at each other, see what I mean about your mouth and your little jokes on live. You called him a female and he has now said this pretty nigga had your wife, so are you happy now” I sighed out, I always get myself in some shit.

[yoontopia]

𝟯𝟴. “𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵” + 𝟰𝟳. “𝗗𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿?” | 𝗸𝘁𝗵

pairing: kim taehyung x reader; genre: tooth-rotting fluff you have been warned, established relationship; words: 1.5k

Part of the ‘100 ways to say I love you’ drabbles. Requests for these are currently OPEN

Groggily, you blinked open your eyes. Your bedroom slid into focus, the sunlight streaming in through the window. Groaning, you sat up, cracking your back and turning to check your phone which was sitting on your bedside table. It flashed 6:30 am.

Pushing your blanket off, you shivered as the cold air hit your bare feet. You got out of bed and shuffled into your bathroom. Brushing your teeth and washing your face while still half-asleep, you hummed a tune you’d been hearing on the radio recently. Feeling slightly more awake, you made your way out of your room and into the kitchen.

Sighing, you checked your cabinets – you only had cereal left – a grocery run was in order later today. The apartment was quiet, and you sat down at the island and poured yourself a bowl of cereal, relishing in such a rarity. Your eyes wandered to the wall next to your little kitchenette, a small smile forming on your lips, mouth still full of cheerios.

Your boyfriend, and current roommate, the one and only Kim Taehyung had taken the liberty to spend far too much money on a polaroid camera and some film and had printed out an unnecessary amount of photos to hang up on your living room wall. You had to hand it to Taehyung to commit to the aesthetic though, for even you admitted the pictures looked cute. They varied from photos of you and your friends, to solo candid photos of you he’d felt like taking, to photos of you and him on various outings. There were several pictures of Taehyung’s little Pomeranian dog, Yeontan, who you were convinced he loved more than you.

Taehyung had crashed into your life like a whirlwind – literally. He’d rammed into you right outside the café you’d always frequent, a full cup of iced americano in one hand, successfully ruining your favorite dress shirt and breaking the glasses he’d been wearing all in a matter of seconds. He’d spent the next twenty minutes squinting at you and apologizing and you’d spent them cursing at him.

The next day he’d waited for you outside the café, a brand-new dress shirt in his hand. It had taken a few more chance encounters on campus for the two of you to stumble into a somewhat friendship, and then a few more for him to one day shyly ask you out.

And now here you two were, some half a decade later, still attached at the hip. You had to admit, when you’d said yes to the handsome boy with the wide smile, you hadn’t expected it to turn serious, and you sure as hell hadn’t expected to move in together. But things happen, and you’re glad they do. If you’re the strong ocean wave approaching the shore at full speed, then Taehyung is a rock, standing tall and strong for you to crash into. He grounded you, the calm to your frenzy. His easy-going outlook on life had managed to soothe you.

The man in question was currently away on a business trip. Taehyung’s love for photography had landed him in the wedding business where he worked as a professional photographer. He was away at some destination wedding and you cursed at him for enjoying some beautiful island with wide beaches and hot climates while you slaved away at your nine-to-five office job in the freezing cold and rainy weather.

As if on cue, your phone rang, vibrating harshly against the kitchen island. A familiar boxy grin lit up the screen and you chuckled. Speak of the devil.

“Huwwo?” you said, mouth full of breakfast.

“Lemme guess, honey nut cheerios?” came Taehyung’s familiar voice. You hastily swallowed down your food.

“Leave me and my cheerios out of this Kim,” you warned. You heard him chuckle on the other end, the familiar sound making your toes warm. You missed him.

“Hey its not my fault you chose to enjoy the most disgusting cereal in the world.” He said, voice tinged with amusement.

“Shut the fuck up you fruit loop freak” you snapped. Taehyung mock gasped. “Bitch you know they’re pure sugar!”

“And what of it!” he yelled back. You couldn’t help it, you laughed. You picked up your now empty bowl of cereal and dumped it in the sink.

“How’s the wedding?” you asked, walking into your living room and collapsing on the couch. You had a few minutes to spare before you absolutely had to get ready for work.

“Horrendous,” he replied. “Today, the groom tripped during a shoot and face-planted in the sand. Some even went into his mouth.” You let out a loud guffaw.

“What’s so horrendous about that?! That’s hilarious.”

“I know, I couldn’t help it – I laughed at him and he told me to shut up.” You could hear the pout in Taehyung’s voice.

“How dare he! I like your laugh – let me fly over there and give him a piece of my mind!” you said, trying to sound threatening. You heard Taehyung laugh on the other end and grinned. He really did have a nice laugh.

“No need no need, I’m due back in three days anyway,” he said conversationally. “Oh right – did you get my letter?”

“Your letter?” you asked incredulously. “You wrote a letter?”

“Just a postcard,” he said airily.

“Why?!”

“I felt like it! Do you realize that the digital world has rendered old school methods of communicating obsolete?”

“I’m aware,” you said mildly. “No, I haven’t received your letter. Shocker! Considering post is atrociously slow and tends to get lost.”

“Have faith in the system!” he yelled. “I think you’ll get it soon – I wrote and sent it two days ago.” You sighed. Taehyung really did know how to commit to the aesthetic. This was such a Taehyung thing to do you weren’t even surprised anymore.

“Fine I’ll wait for it. But hey – I must get dressed for work. The ceremony is tomorrow right? Send me a cute picture!” you said, standing up. “TEXT it.” You added.

“You want a picture of the bride and groom?” he asked, curious. You pretended to contemplate.

“I wouldn’t mind. But I really want a picture of the guy they hired to take all the photos.”

“Hmmm, and why is that?”

“I’ve been told he’s drop dead gorgeous, and I just wanted to see for myself.”

“Is that so? Well I’ll keep that in mind.”

Laughing, you bid him a goodbye, tossed your phone aside and rushed around getting dressed for the day. Emerging from your room fully dressed, you grabbed your bag and started to head out when you noticed a pile of mail had been slipped in through the slot in your door. Remembering what your boyfriend had said, you leaned over and checked.

Sure enough, there was a postcard, or really it was a photograph. It was a picture of Taehyung in swimming shorts, looking heavily sunburnt standing on a beach, his arms spread wide. He’d scrawled the words ‘SEAS THE DAY’ next to himself in the sand. Grinning, you stared. Was that it? He’d said he’d written you a letter.

Without really thinking too much about it, you turned it over, moving to put it and the other mail on the kitchen island before heading out, before you noticed words on the back of the photo as well. You blinked, reading and re-reading the question he’d printed neatly on the back of the photo. Your world spun for a second before you were reaching for your phone and dialing the only number you had ever bothered to memorize.

“Hello?” Taehyung answered, sounding sheepish.

“If this had really gotten lost somewhere, what were you gonna do?” you asked him shakily.

“I’d have asked you in person of course,” He answered promptly. “Are you gonna answer me now? Or write a letter with your answer back? Because I really don’t think I’ll get it before I lea-” but you cut him off.

“Yes.” You said, and there was a rather pregnant pause on the other end.

“Yes?” he prompted.

“Yes.” You repeated, your tone final. Another pause.

“Ok, but we’d need to search for another photographer for it. Since you know, I’ll be occupied elsewhere.” His tone was serious, but you could hear the happiness in his voice. He was smiling.

“Shut up Tae,” you mumbled, trying to stop yourself from crying and laughing at the same time. Taehyung laughed.

“Go to work little chick,” he said warmly. “I’ll see you in three days and then we can make it Facebook official.”

“Oh my god you are such a dork.” You said, choking on a small sob.

“But you love me!” he reminded. And you had to agree.

[marsupials-of-mars]

Don't know it I've posted this before but it's one I found in my old phone, apparently written before svs

~~~

Deceit rubbed his scales. They were burning slightly, as they did when he was newly shed. He sneered. Shedding. It was disgusting. Strings of snakeskin clung in clumps to the walls of his stone room making it grosser than it was already. At least he wasn’t nearly blind in one eye anymore from the cloudy layer of dead cells. His scales were tender and any form of friction felt like rubbing on sunburn. He spread ointment over his face and hips, soothing the burn slightly. He hated his scales. More than anything. They caused him problem after problem, but overall they were disgusting. They were hard and cold to the touch, and made him look just like the monster he made himself out to be. There was a knock at the door.

“Dee? Dinnertime kiddo!” Deceit sighed. Patton was kind to him, but he knew it was only out of his nature. And pity. Fear or pity was the only way he got any sort of care. He hated dinner, especially considering he only ate once weekly and every other time he was sat awkwardly with the others, trying to disappear. But Patton wanted him to be included, and no matter how evil nobody would dare hurt Patton’s feelings. He shoved himself out of bed and pulled the bun out of his hair, ruffling it up and combing it back. He pulled on his shirt and jacket and opened the door.

Patton grinned and grabbed his hand. “I made steak and potatoes, your favorite!” Deceit sighed.

“I already ate Monday.” This was a lie, of course, but he didn’t feel like eating. He’d lost his appetite.

"Aw... can’t you eat a little more? I’m sorry, I should have remembered...” Patton cast down his big blue puppy dog eyes. Deceit sighed.

"Seared?” Patton smiled.

“Course! I know what you like!” Deceit paused.

“Fine. I’ll eat.”

"Yaaaay!” Patton sunk out, probably to set the table. Deceit took a breath and sunk as well, appearing in the dining room. Logan was already there, his elbows on the table, reading an advanced physics textbook. VERY interesting. Virgil was at his seat with his head in his arms. He peered up at Deceit.

"Why is HE here again?” Patton gave Virgil a Dad Look.

“He comes twice a week, we agreed on that. He needs to be social.” Deceit hissed to himself. There was the pity.

"Why can’t he eat with the other Darks?”

"I eat with them on Mondays.” He lied like a liar. “Besides, I could ask you the same.” Virgil growled.

"Hey, be nice you two!” Patton set Deceit’s meal in front of him and looked at each of them sternly. “Logan, no reading at the table.” Logan groaned and shut his book, grabbing a napkin to stuff it in as a bookmark. He dropped it next to him.

“Oh! Deceit! When did you get here?” "Three years ago. You’ve been wrapped in that book for too long. Come back to us Logan, the mind has been a mess.” Deceit sawed off a piece of meat.

“Ha ha.” Logan shoveled a bite of potato into his mouth. Roman burst in.

"Hello to those I like and those I hate, you know who you are!” Roman had figured out a way to insult the others without Patton being able to yell at him. He sat and dug in, and all the sides began to talk about daily activities Deceit hadn’t taken any part in. He ate quietly, feeling the others eyes boring into him once in a while, judging. He growled.

"Thanks for the dinner Patton. I really do feel appreciated.” He lifted his plate. “But I think I’ll take this elsewhere.” Patton looked up from his food.

“What? No! Are the others being too mean? Stop being mean you guys!” He grabbed Deceits arm. Deceit yanked it away.

"Thanks. But no thanks.” He stalked away. He could hear Patton’s stern mumbling behind him and took solace in the idea of the others being scolded. But being pitied and protected only made him feel weaker. He made his way through the kitchen, headed to his room.

"Hey! Snake Boy!” He looked up. Two sides he’d never met we’re sat at a small table in the kitchen. He’d always wondered what that table was for. He raised a brow. He couldn’t for the life of him tell what type of side they were supposed to be. And why weren’t they at the dining room table?

"What?” He decided to indulge the side with the sunglasses which made oh so much sense to be wearing indoors at night.

"You’re the new one huh? What’s with the scales?” He swirled his coffee cup. “Remy, be nice.” The second spoke up. He straightened his bubblegum pink tie. “You’re Deceit, aren’t you?” Deceit blinked.

“Um... no...” The cardigan-clad side beamed.

“I KNEW it! Where you going?”

"Away. My room.” Deceit contemplated making a run for it.

"Um, no, you’re sitting with us!” He patted the chair next to him excitedly. Deceit raised a brow.

“Let it go Em, he doesn’t want to have to deal with you.” The side who he assumed was called Em huffed.

“Don’t be rude, I was offering, if he doesn’t want to-“

"Sure.” Deceit sat down. It felt odd sitting with people he didn’t know, but he was intrigued. And he had to prove that Remy didn’t already know him. Em squealed happily. "Fun!” He stuck out his hand. “I’m Emile, Emile Picani, and this is Remington!” "Remy, Em, it’s REMY.” Deceit chuckled.

“Deceit. Though you seem to know who I am already...?”

"Well duh, you’re the new dark side, you were in the last two episodes!” "Episodes...?” Deceit blinked. This Emile Picani must be insane.

"Don’t worry about it, I just want to get to know you!” Deceits heart skipped. Get to know him? But he had some questions first.

"Wait, first, who are you two? I’ve never seen you, are you Sides?”

"Oh, heavens no!” Emile giggled. “He’s sleep, and I’m an OC!”

"An OC...?”

"Yeah, were expecting more non-side extras at some point but for now it’s just us. At least, we’re the most accepted by the fandom.”

"What the ever loving f*ck are you talking about?”

"Oh!” Emile gasped. “You can censor yourself, that’s so neat!” He ignored the question.

“Sometimes in media a sharp beep can be more effective in conveying a swear than the swear itself, while still being deemed more appropriate.”

"Uh huh...” Deceit was lost. But he didn’t quite mind. The guy was charming, in a confusing sort of way.

“Why don’t you eat at the dining room table?”

"Well that’s for the sides.” Emile shrugged. Remy nodded. Deceit furrowed his brows.

"Do they not let you sit with them?”

"Oh, no no no, they’re perfectly kind to us. But usually they talk about Thomas’ problems, their jobs, things we really have no part in or fascination with.” Deceit nodded. “Now your turn to talk. What’s your story...?” Deceit picked at his fingernails.

“My story?”

"What’s your character? Your internal conflict? Why should I like Deceit Sanders? What does he add to the show? What are his quirks?” Deceit looked between the two not-sides. They stared at him in anticipation.

“Well... I’m the bad guy. I lie. I show up and ruin things.” Emile chuckled. "What’s so funny?!” Deceit glared at him.

"Oh, sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing because you remind me of another certain dark side I used to talk with quite a lot.”

"...Virgil?” His heart sank. “You talked with Virgil?”

"Well someone likes killing the suspense.” Emile smiled. “Yeah, I talked with everyone’s favorite worry wart. He said a lot of the same things.”

"Really?”

"Um, have you even WATCHED Accepting Anxiety?”

"I have literally no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Okay... way to be honest.” Emile smiled. “But like Virgil, I’m gonna have to ask you to go a little deeper. Don’t tell me what you are to everyone else, tell me how YOU feel. YOUR story.” Deceit bit his lip. “There’s not much to tell...”

“I don’t mind.” Emile’s warm periwinkle eyes egged him on. His heart swelled in his chest. Nobody had ever shown such a deep interest in him. He sighed.

"Maybe... maybe I feel a little... gross. Sometimes. And being born a ‘dark side’...with this monster face... it feels easier to act how other people expect me to rather than trying to be anything else.” He looked up. Emile was staring, and Remy had stopped eating. He could see the edges of hot pink irises side eying him from behind his sunglasses. An awkward tension hung in the air.

“Kidding!” Deceit grinned far too wide. “I’m Deceit for f*cks sake, I’m a dark side, a villain made to be feared, not pitied! And I LOVE IT!” Emile’s expression didn’t change.

“Deceit. Calm down. I’m a therapist, I can tell when you’re lying.” Deceit’s grin faltered and faded. He sunk into his chair and put his head in his arms.

“I’m not ly-ying...” his voice hitched. He wasn’t about to cry in front of two people he just met.

“It’s okay. Talk it out. Breathe.” He felt Emile put a reassuring hand on his back. “This is common in a character arc. Denial followed by an explosion followed by an acceptance. It’s how these things go.”

"I’m not a character in one of your stupid shows...” Deceit shrugged Emile off him. “I’m a freak and I’ll always be a freak.”

“A common cliche.”

"I’m NOT CLICHE!!!” Deceit shot up and banged his fists on the table. Emile caught his arm.

"Remy, can you give us a moment?” Remy tossed his hair to the side.

“Go nuts girl, I’m done anyways.” He set his plate on the counter and sank out. Deceit watched him. They were alone.

“I know you’re not cliche. But this arc of a villain has common components. And always, ALWAYS, it works out in the end. Beauty and the Beast, Nick from Zootopia, I’ll leave it at that to spare you from a long long list.” Deceit huffed.

“This isn’t a cutesy animated Disney film.” "Sure it’s not. But it applies to your situation. And I think, despite what you say, you’ll turn out fine. Just use a little elbow grease. Break through the expectations of others and show them who you really are, be who you wanna be.” “It’s not that easy...” Deceit rubbed his scales. Picani took his chin and turned his head so they were looking into each other’s eyes.

"I know. Not much in life is. I’m not throwing some empty phrases at you like ‘be yourself’, ‘follow your dreams’, ‘believe in yourself’, now THOSE are cliche. I’m saying you have the ability to be who you feel is the real you. All you need to do is show it. It’ll be hard. I know it will. But keep at it and it can and will be okay.” Deceit blushed and looked away. “Everyone already hates me. How do I take that back...?”

"Apologize, show them you’re a good guy.”

"I don’t look or feel like a good guy... my scales-“ He freezes when Picani gently runs a finger down his scaled cheek.

“I like your scales. They’re fascinating. They’re pretty but they make you look badass, don’t worry about them, they’re great.” Deceit flushed bright yellow.

“I-i... really?”

"Really really! Everyone loves the villain, and a reformed villain retaining their quirks can be even more fun! But remember: Nobody likes a flat character. Show your colors, your conflict, drop the textbook villain act and don’t be afraid to get messy to show people the real you. Understand?” Deceit smiled slightly.

"I think I might.”

[whereisvanderwood]

Thirty Day Trial

Along with the final sales of the Vanderwood Zine, we have been given permission to post our full contribution to the zine! I had the privilege to write a short story for the project which indulges my own personal love for coffee shop stories. Thank you to everyone who purchased the zine, and well done to everyone else who contributed! ^^

☆☆☆☆☆

Anyone could miss it if they tried looking for it. Maybe that's why it was his favourite place; it was his getaway from his everyday life; his escape from the inescapable. Fitting for someone living such a life as he was.

Beyond the Devil's Ivy, draped over the wooden mantle of the footpath, was a glass door. Nothing special about it, but its simplicity was charming. His eyes searched the interior before his fingers curled around the handle. They searched for the familiar messy bun of brown hair bobbing up and down, sported with a new, colourful headscarf every time he visited. He always liked to guess before he saw it, wondering if he really was as good at profiling as his job demanded. Today, she wore mustard yellow.

He fiddled with something in his trademark leopard-print coat. His cheeks were soon dusted in a bright pink, and the thumping in his chest was amplified. Maybe this is a bad idea, he tried convincing himself. Swallowing the nerves, he reeled back his ambiguity, and finally opened the door.

Greenery was hung from multiple corners of the shop. Potted plants of a wide variety sat cozily on floating wooden shelves that stretched across the walls, contrasting beautifully against the birch. Ground coffee beans, mixed with the smell of fresh petrichor from cracked open windows, created a flowery, nut-smelling incense, and his muscles melted at the first whiff. The door's corner bell rung and staff members called out a welcome while they carried several trays of steaming coffee. The rest, meanwhile, paused as they recognised the old face.

"Nice to see you again, Vanderwood," they smiled and nodded, speaking his name with a tinge more gusto. This caught the attention of the one behind the coffee machine, the girl in the yellow headscarf. She stood on her tippy-toes and peered over the top.

"Same to you," he greeted back. His gaze caught the girl's, and she lowered herself out of sight. He thought it was an odd look she gave him, but thought not much of it while he took a seat in front of her at the bar.

He folded his arms atop the counter, watching her oddly glare at the milk jug under the steam wand. "Hey," he tried to get her attention.

She didn't respond.

"Uhh, hello?" he tried again, but still received the cold silence. "Remember me?"

The girl slammed the jug down on the bench, some milk splashing onto her cheek. She ignored it and poured the foam into the cup, showing a poor attempt at latte art. She then carelessly set the cup onto the saucer, wobbling enough to spill it over the plate, but she didn't seem to care as she took it to a gentleman sitting by the window, who gave the barista a disapproving shake. Vanderwood, thinking he'd seen her enough to know she always took the time to perfect the art of coffee-making with great precision, was taken aback at this sight. He'd never seen her like this before. He glanced at the other staff nearby, their attention caught at the girl's noisy behaviour, hoping for an explanation. They shrugged, only having known as much as he did as to why she was acting the way she was.

"MC, are you mad at me?" he tried a third time.

"Mm hm," she grumbled.

"What? Why?"

She ignored him again.

"I haven't even been here to do anything—"

Vanderwood cut himself off, slack-jawed as realisation dawned on him. He looked at nothing in particular while he thought before looking back to MC. Her eyes finally met his, but they were wide open with eyebrows raised, unimpressed. 'There you go; you figured it out,' her expression read.

"I'm sorry. There were things I had to do."

"Like what?" she quickly bit back.

What Vanderwood wanted to say, the truth he wanted to share with no consequence, was caught on his tongue. He was always telling himself that going to the same place, over and over, for too long was dangerous, and only a recipe for disappointment. For all he knew, the man MC served her coffee to, keeping his head low behind the newspaper he read, was an enemy informant. The other barista, young and hippy with oval optics, tall and muscular, could be a field agent in disguise. He knew better than anyone that looks were deceiving.

He awkwardly cleared his throat. "I got called into work."

"It was awfully good timing, if you ask me," MC argued.

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"You're going to tell me you don't remember an inkling of our last conversation?"

"Hey, come on. It was at least a few months ago."

"Not even the mood?"

Vanderwood, perturbed by her reactions, let his frustration slip. "It seems like the more you ask, the more upset you get. How many times do you want me to say I don't remember?"

She leaned down to the same height as he was, her face in her hands while her cheeks went rosy peach, and sighed in defeat. He sat there, addled. Yet, he couldn't help feeling a shred of enjoyment, undeterred by both sides being as agitated as they were. He couldn't let himself stay feeling that way, not for as long as it was her he was talking to. They hadn't spoken this way before—it was all small talk with some sugar-coated comments here and there up until then. This felt real. Authentic. He liked it.

Her eyes peered from between her fingers. "So, I have to spell it out to you, all over again."

"Seems to be the case,” he shrugged.

Clearly feeling awkward, MC tapped the bench, made some funny mouth noises, and groaned. It took some time before she bit the bullet and put words to her turning thoughts.

"What I was trying to say, before you left so quickly," she began, "was... maybe we could, I don't know, get to know each other."

"I thought we broke the ice ages ago. I know who's in your family, your hobbies, your favourite band—"

"No, I don't mean like that," she huffed. "I meant the other way."

Vanderwood wasn't proud of having 'analysed' MC's body language at their first meeting. It was a tactic used only to observe his enemies that allowed him to calculate the best method of dispatch; to turn their weaknesses against them. He felt as though it would betray the trust MC had naively, in his perception, placed in him. But in this case, he couldn't help but give in to temptation. He wanted to understand her.

He watched her eyes nervously shift to all corners of the room, saw how she bit her lower lip and tapped her fingers across the bartop, trying to uncover her intentions. At last, when he'd connected the dots, he realised he'd seen this language before in many of his foes' paired assignments, and was the exact Achilles’ heel he often exploited in many of his missions.

His hand shifted to cover half of his mouth when he finally caught on. "Oh... you mean 'that' way." His words were muffled.

"Yes, 'that' way," MC reiterated. "I know we've only known each other as the customer and the  barista for however long you've been coming by, but you seem like you would be a nice person to get to know and I, I don't know, I feel like I'm always lonely here when you're not around..."

Yes, I feel the same way! 

His heart cried out, but he did well to keep it concealed. He didn't realise his hand had reached into his pocket at her words, and balled it tightly into a fist, gripping onto the gift. He couldn't bring himself to take it out again. He understood what he'd be doing if he did.

I want to get to know you, too.

 "I don't think that's a good idea."

"What? Why not?" She stammered.

"You wouldn't want to stick around a guy like me. I made you wait for all those months and didn't even think to consider your feelings. You really want to 'get to know' a guy like that?"

MC looked down at her twiddling thumbs. "I... I realise now that you probably had a good reason for not coming by. A-And it's not really fair of me to expect you to when you have a busy life of your own. I'm sorry."

Vanderwood's fist slowly began to loosen. "No, I am. I shouldn't have kept coming. There are reasons why I never stay in one place for long."

"You sound like a man on the run," MC mused. "Sounds adventurous."

"Try 'dangerous'. My situation is... complicated."

"Isn't everyone's?"

"No, you don't understand, MC." He took a moment to look side to side, checking for any watchful eyes of customers. "I can't be close to anyone. No friends, family, colleagues, no one. Even if we were to... you know... it would never work." His voice fell flat, his words drifting away with the cafe ambience.

"How about this--" she began with a new spurt of confidence in her, "give me one month."

"What?" He raised his head. "For what?"

"To change your mind. For one month, I'll be ‘someone 'close' to you. And if you hate it, I won't bother you again. But you have to give it thirty days. That’s the deal."

Vanderwood unfolded his arms and placed his hands flat on the bar. "No. You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

 MC mimicked his actions. "You don't know what you're missing out on."

"I do, and I don't need it."

"But you know you want it."

"Stop goading me."

"Not until I win."

Vanderwood ran a hand through his hair. He grumbled something under his breath with his forehead on the counter, like he was throwing a tantrum. After some time passed, he was still in complete silence, leaving MC to wait anxiously.

Finally he spoke, lifting one finger above his head. "One month. That's it."

"Really!?"

"I won't say I told you so when it all goes to hell... But if you want this to work, we have to do things my way, got it?" His face was stern, but there was a glimmer in his eye and a tug on his lips.

MC, on the other hand, was euphoric. The jitters of asking someone on a date returned to her all at once and her knees were a wobbling mess. Her heart was thumping wildly, but she did well to keep herself in check. She couldn't help but let a fist pump under the counter slide, though. 

"Then it's a date," she beamed.

"I guess, since we're doing this and all..." Vanderwood reached back into his pocket and pulls from it the leopard-print headscarf he'd been carrying with him for the past number of weeks, and sheepishly held it out to her. "I-I got you something. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to."

“You… got this for me?” She delicately plucked the fabric from his fingers. She looked it over, twirling it in her grasp, running her thumbs across the cotton as though it were delicate silk.

In the next moment, she undid her yellow headscarf, her hair falling elegantly onto her shoulders. Vanderwood had never seen her with her hair down before. He watched on as she effortlessly perfected her trademark hair-do with her new accessory. He suddenly felt the need to remove his heavy coat, the room suddenly a hot sauna.

"See? You can do this--you’re already getting your girlfriend a present,” she beamed.

“Easy on the girlfriend talk. It’ll take the first twenty-nine days to get used to hearing that.”

“Oh, I can fix that. You’re going to have the best thirty days of your life.”

☆☆☆☆☆

Thank you @vandyzine for the opportunity to take part in this! It’s been great working with you all :)

[inawickedlittletown]

I’m With You (11/?)

Summary:

Having a crush was nothing to be ashamed of…lying to the family and friends of said crush about being the guy’s boyfriend, that was a whole other problem. When Buck saves the life of Andrew Diaz and accidentally makes a nurse think that he’s Andrew’s boyfriend, Buck soon finds himself lying to Andrew’s firefighter friends/coworkers as well as Andrew’s family including Andrew’s very suspicious and attractive brother, Eddie.

Based on the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping.

Words: 4,183

Notes: Posting a bit earlier than I expected I would be again which is not a bad thing. Enjoy. :)

Read on Ao3

Masterpost

Previous Chapter

–

It felt foggy, like there was something he should know, or things that should have been in his head that wasn’t confusion. The doctor had asked him questions that had felt a bit random. Math ones and history ones and chemistry ones, and questions about fire safety for some reason. Supposedly they were things that were relevant to the life that he didn’t remember and the people that had been around in his hospital room when he woke up. 

As it turned out, he knew a lot of things — studied and learned knowledge. Facts and things that were just ingrained in him. It was everything else he didn’t know like his parents or his brother or that he was gay — well, bisexual — and had a boyfriend whom he knew to be aesthetically pleasing in the way that he could acknowledge when someone looked good and yet did nothing else for him.

His mom tried to show him pictures to jog his memory, but even the pictures that had him in them felt like looking at strangers. When he’d gone to the bathroom earlier, feeling sore and unsure of the help that his parents were offering him, he’d taken some time to stare at himself in the mirror. But he didn’t recognize himself and that was a strange and weird feeling. 

Nothing made him remember anything fully, but he had feelings or maybe something that was like deja vu sometimes. His parents told him he was a firefighter — a hero. He didn’t feel like one, though. They didn’t leave his side the first day, sticking around right up until it was dark out and they either needed to leave or stay the night. 

Eddie and Buck — his boyfriend, Buck — had brought a few things to help him with the remembering thing. The photo album gave him nothing really except that he had some faint familiarity with some of the things in the earlier pictures but Andrew — and even his name had felt weird on his tongue — didn’t consider any of that actually remembering. 

After everyone left, he looked through the things he’d been brought again. The pictures, and the yearbook, and then he picked up the Sandman comic book. When he’d first opened it earlier, the story had come to him at once. All the pictures were familiar. It was the same with The Catcher In the Rye. He knew the book well. Loved it. American Idiot was another thing he remembered. Eddie had played a few of the songs for him and Andrew knew the words. 

The oddest part was remembering some things and not remembering others. 

The doctors were all optimistic that he would get his memory back. They didn’t know the cause of the amnesia exactly, but they expected it to be temporary. Andrew hoped so, he wasn’t fond of the daze he was in. 

—-

Buck called out from work the next morning and texted Ali while he was at it to let her know that he was sorry but couldn’t make it in. 

And why is that? 

You alright?

Buck almost didn’t feel like answering. After he’d gotten home the night before and picked at the food he’d picked up on the way home before just giving up and going to bed, Buck hadn’t actually fallen asleep until it was well past midnight. He’d called his boss after two hours of sleep and then texted Ali. 

Andrew woke up. 

He has amnesia. 

So not off the hook yet.

Things are just nuts right now.

He stayed in bed for a good chunk of the morning, drifting in a half-sleep state that didn’t really make a lot of sense. Eventually, he got up mostly out of hunger and then because he figured that if he was hungry, Legolas was too. 

Buck was happy to not run into Eddie at Andrew’s house again. So, instead he went in and fed Legolas and went out to the yard to play. Their playing days were numbered, it was a sad thing to consider with how attached Buck was to the dog. They played fetch for a while until Buck just laid down on the grass and Legolas dropped down next to him, putting his head on Buck’s chest. It was as if Legolas could sense that Buck needed the comfort. 

“You’re amazing, you know. The best dog,” Buck said, running his hands through his golden fur. 

Buck had no idea how long they were like that before Legolas got up and walked up the stairs to the house. He barked a few times and when Buck got up, he found Eddie and Christopher there. Christopher was on the receiving end of doggy kisses which was something that Buck could never not smile at. 

“Buck,” Eddie said, “didn’t think you’d be here.” 

Buck shrugged. “Feeding Legolas.”  

Eddie nodded. “I just figured you’d be at the hospital.”

“Later, probably,” Buck said. He tried to shake off any of the grass that had stayed on him as he walked up the stairs to join them. 

“You have grass on your hair,” Eddie said and before Buck could reach up to shake it off, Eddie was there running his hands through his hair for him. 

Eddie was so close that Buck could feel his breath on his neck and he could smell him, a dark woodsy scent that was very appealing. His fingers pulled at Buck’s hair a little but Eddie was gentle and then he pulled back, falling a step back and away from Buck. It felt like a spell was broken. 

“There,” Eddie said. “All gone.” He was smiling, his eyes twinkling in the light.

Buck liked him. He liked him too much. 

“And what brings you here?” Buck asked. 

“Chris wanted to see Legolas and I figured maybe I’d take a few pictures of him to show to Andrew. See if that sparks anything at all. Although...even without memories he didn’t seem too interested in hearing about this dog.”

“Good idea,” Buck said. He personally had too many pictures of Legolas in his phone. 

Buck had maybe gone a little crazy with taking pictures of Legolas almost every time that he went over to Andrew’s house. It was just that Legolas was very photogenic and he was too adorable to not take pictures of. 

Christopher was still petting Legolas, but he looked up when he heard Buck. 

“Hi, Buck,” he said. 

“Hey, bud,” Buck said and grinned at him as Legolas gently nudged Christopher asking for more petting.

“I’m amazed at how good he is with Christopher,” Eddie said. “That’s — it’s one of the things that’s always made me hesitate to get a dog even though Christopher would love one. I’ve been considering getting him a hamster.” 

“I mean, if you want to get stuck cleaning out the cage.” 

Eddie laughed. “Maybe a fish.” 

“With what a self-cleaning tank?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and got distracted taking pictures. Some with and without Christopher. The tension that had been present the day before had disappeared probably some time between the awkward moments at the hospital the day before with Andrew. None of them really knew how to act around him least of all Buck who shouldn’t have even been there in the first place. 

“Are you working today?” Buck asked. 

“Yeah. I’m gonna drop Chris off with Abuela for the day so he’s not stuck at the hospital with my parents. They’re still planning to head home tomorrow. I guess it makes it easier that Andrew’s awake now, but they’re trying to spend as much time with him as possible.” 

“Ah,” Buck said. And he felt horrible for hoping that Andrew wouldn’t have his memories back until after his parents left so that maybe just maybe the blowout of everything coming out wouldn’t be as bad. 

They hung out for a while, sitting on the steps while Christopher played with Legolas and it was nice. Peaceful.

The peace was broken when Buck’s phone started to ring. It was an unknown number, but with all the strange things that were happening, Buck figured he should answer. But no one was on the other line. 

“Hello?” Buck asked. 

There was just someone breathing and then they hung up. The area code told him that it wasn’t a California number. 

“That was weird,” Buck said. 

“Who was it? Telemarketer?” 

“No. Or...well, I don’t know. Someone just breathing and then they hung up.” 

Buck considered calling back and seeing if anyone answered, but he didn’t feel like going through the trouble so he put his phone away. If they really did want to reach him they would leave a message. 

“So, you gonna go through with the asking my brother to marry you thing?” Eddie asked eventually. He sounded a bit weird asking. 

Buck shrugged. How could he when they weren’t even together? He’d forgotten about Olivia mentioning that. Or how Isabel had been so happy to hear it. 

“I don’t know,” Buck said. 

Eddie nodded. “Just...I guess be sure it’s what you want, if you do.” 

“Why? Am I not supposed to want your brother?” 

Eddie wouldn’t look at him, instead he stared out at the yard. “I just don’t know if you know him all that well to rush into marriage. Seems I don’t know him all that well either come to think of it. And I just — I realize you probably like my parents and the family as a whole and I don’t want that to influence you.”

“Right,” Buck said and he knew that whatever intention Eddie had by saying all that, that it was rooted in good somehow and yet it sounded wrong and just a bit rude. If Buck had actually been Andrew’s boyfriend, it wouldn’t have come off well at all. 

“I mean...I mean that from my own experience marriage is not something to go into lightly,” Eddie said. 

“Eddie, the last thing I’m thinking about is marriage. And...I think I should go,” Buck said. “I have to pick up more food for Legolas and I should stop by the hospital.” 

“Oh. I’ll see you soon?” 

“Yeah,” Buck said. He stopped by Christopher to ruffle his hair and to pet Legolas goodbye. 

Christopher said goodbye in his gentle tone. “See you soon, kid,” Buck said. He was going to miss him too once it was all over. 

—-

Eddie was jealous and he was a shit person. A shit brother. He had seen it in Buck’s eyes, and then the way that Buck had just taken off right after Eddie had just started voiding his concerns about Buck and Andrew getting married. It left a bad taste in his mouth. It was just that Eddie hadn’t expected to come upon Buck at Andrew’s house again, but there he was in the backyard sitting on the grass looking gorgeous and like he belonged there in that house and with that dog and it had bothered Eddie. It was still bothering Eddie. 

The idea that one day Andrew and Buck would be married and Eddie would have to see them together...it hurt. It hurt more than he’d expected it to. And maybe it hurt more because when they’d been outside the hospital, Eddie had wanted to blurt it out and tell Buck that the reason he wanted so desperately for Buck to somehow not be his brother’s boyfriend was because he liked him...he had feelings for him — feelings that he shouldn’t have for his brother’s boyfriend. 

There was nothing he could do about it. Buck and Andrew were together. Eddie had tried and failed to find a reason for why Buck might be lying but there was nothing and Eddie just had to resign himself to the fact that his brother was less than straight and that he’d somehow found the one man in all of LA that Eddie could fall for. 

“Daddy, are you okay?” 

Eddie looked to his son and smiled. “Yeah, kiddo. I’m all good.” 

They didn’t stay much longer at Andrew’s place because Eddie still did need to head to work. He packed Chris up in the truck and drove to Abuela’s. She was of course in the middle of baking something when they arrived.

“Es para Andrew,” Abuela said. “El se va a recordar de mi tres leches.” 

[“It’s for Andrew,” Abuela said. “He’ll remember my tres leches.”]

“Who wouldn’t,” Eddie said. “And can I expect a piece later?” 

“Claro, Eddito,” Abuela said. 

[“Of course, Eddito.”]

“Y tienes razón. Nadie puede olvidarse de tu tres leches. Nobody makes it like you. Anyway, I gotta go, abuela. But thanks for watching him today and don’t let him tire you out.”

[“You’re right. Nobody could forget your tres leches…”]

“I won’t, Ed. You be careful out there.” 

He let her kiss his cheek and bless him before he turned to Christopher. 

“Be good for abuela, kiddo. Promise?”

“I promise,” Christopher said with a big grin. 

“See you soon. Love you.” 

“Love you too, dad.” 

Hearing those words always made him feel amazing, like he could do anything at all. 

Eddie arrived at the station with time to spare somehow, but he headed in to get changed anyway. Hen was already there in the locker room.

“So, he’s awake,” she said. “I stopped by there earlier. He’s looking a lot better.” 

Eddie nodded as he changed his shirt. “I’m just glad he woke up before my parents left. We just have to wait for him to get his memory back, now.” 

Hen gave his shoulder a squeeze. “He’ll be back to normal in no time.”

The day turned out to be on the easier side. Easy routine calls. A girl stuck up a tree that they got down with no trouble, a pregnant teenager who went into labor at a friend’s house, a car crash with no major injuries but a woman stuck inside her car, and a restaurant with a grease fire. They somehow weren’t even interrupted during their dinner and between the calls they even had a bit of downtime.

Eddie filled everyone in on what was going on with Andrew and when they happened to be dropping off a woman experiencing a heart attack at the same hospital, they all went to the hospital room to stop by for a moment. 

“No kidding, then, I’m a firefighter,” Andrew said when he saw them walk in. 

Bobby was the first to introduce himself, shaking Andrew’s hand. Hen went in and hugged him and Chimney just nodded. 

“The uniform looks cool,” Andrew said. 

“Just wait until you’re wearing one,” Hen said. “Which will be soon.”

Andrew laughed at that. “Hopefully,” he said. 

“Not until you’re all better, son,” their mom said and Eddie rolled his eyes. She was so overprotective. 

When he met Andrew’s eyes, Andrew seemed to be sharing his expression which made Eddie really remember that this was his brother. 

They didn’t stay long, but Andrew seemed happy to see them even if it was clear he didn’t remember any of them all too well. No one knew how he would remember things — if it would be all at once or slowly. Amnesia was still such a weird mystery. 

They ran into Buck on their way out. He was holding flowers which made something in Eddie’s chest catch. If only Buck had been less attractive or more of a jerk or just obviously a bad person somehow everything would have been so much easier. 

Hen hugged Buck and Bobby pat his shoulder. Chim squeezed his arm. Eddie steered clear of him, not daring to touch him because he didn’t trust himself. Instead he just offered a smile that he hoped wasn’t too tight. 

—-

Buck didn’t know if they did it for his benefit or because they really did intend to leave, but Buck was surprised when Helena and Ramon got up to leave after he’d been with them for just a few minutes. Helena hugged and kissed his cheek and Ramon just nodded at him and shook his hand.

“We likely won’t be seeing you again for a little while,” Ramon said. “But it was lovely to meet you and to know our son has someone good at his side.” 

By a little while, they didn’t know that it would be forever. 

“Don’t hesitate to call us for anything, sweetie,” Helena added and then turned to Andrew. “We’ll be back tomorrow to say goodbye before we go so we’ll see you then.” 

And then they were gone and Buck felt the awkwardness fall on them. 

“So,” Andrew said.

Buck looked at him. He looked a lot better than he had the day before. His face was back to full color and he’d clearly gotten a moment to get cleaned up because he looked a lot better than someone that had been lying in a coma for the better part of a week. He’d even managed a shave. 

“You’re my boyfriend,” Andrew said. And then, “that sounds weird. Saying it like that, I mean.”

Buck didn’t breathe for a moment. 

Andrew shook his head. “I just — I don’t know, it sounds wrong. And not...I don’t know how, but I just don’t think I like men? But I don’t even know, right, because there’s stuff I’m missing and there’s well...there’s you.” 

And Buck needed to tell him the truth. He needed to explain and hope that Andrew wouldn’t hate him over it. Maybe Chimney was right and this was where he needed to start. Even if Andrew remembered nothing about his life, he could still tell that Buck was wrong — that he was a part that didn’t make sense. Because Buck didn’t belong. He wasn’t supposed to be a part of his life. Any of their lives. 

“But I’ll remember you. I know I will,” Andrew said. “They’ve told me all about you and I — maybe I just don’t know it yet, but you’d be good for me.”

Buck’s phone chose that moment to start ringing. 

“You should get that,” Andrew said. “I don’t mind.” 

Buck picked up without even looking at the number calling. “Hello?” Buck said and waited a moment. “Anyone there? This is Evan Buckley, who’s calling?” 

There was no response and then the line went dead. It was the same number from earlier. Strange. 

“What was that?” Andrew asked. 

“I have no idea,” Buck said. “Same number called me earlier and said nothing. Maybe I should call it back.” 

“Do that. Now I’m curious,” Andrew said. 

He did. It rang and rang and rang and then someone picked up and hung up. Whoever it was, there was a reason they were calling and a reason that they couldn’t say anything to him. The whole thing was sketchy and weird and Buck didn’t really have the time to deal with all of that.

“You should have Athena track the number,” Andrew said and he looked like he didn’t know where the words had come from. Had he even met Athena yet? 

Buck got his answer a moment later. 

“Who’s Athena?” 

Buck chuckled. “Look at that memory already coming back. She’s a friend of yours. She’s a Police Sergeant and married to Bobby,” Buck said and smiled at him. 

“I guess it is” Andrew said. “Weird.” 

There had been a time when Buck would have given anything to have a conversation with Andrew. He would have given anything to be able to sit and talk to him and see if there was anything further to explore between them. To even just know him. This Andrew was still just as attractive, but he had no memories of who he was and Buck didn’t have that pull anymore. Not in the same way. Or maybe it was just the guilt. 

“I should tell you something,” Buck said. He didn’t know how to do it, but he really did need to. 

“Is it about the dog?” Andrew asked. 

“What? Legolas? No...no it’s not about—”

Andrew interrupted. “Mom showed me pictures. And turns out I don’t like dogs.” 

The decisive way he said it made Buck realize that Andrew already knew. Well, no, he didn’t know the details of the lie or the complicated web that Buck had found himself in, but he probably already knew with surety that he wasn’t gay or bi. Just like he knew he didn’t like dogs. 

“You’re not wrong,” Buck said, “for thinking about—”

Buck was of course then interrupted. 

“Andrew!” It was Josh holding balloons because he had perfect timing. 

“Hi,” Andrew said and then to Buck, “who is this?” 

“Your best friend,” Buck said. 

Buck had no idea how Josh knew Andrew was awake since he hadn’t bothered to text or call him even though he should have. It was just that too much had happened for him to even think about Josh. When Josh looked at Buck with clear surprise in his eyes, he realized that it was probably shocking to find him there. 

“Andrew has amnesia,” Buck told him. 

“Oh. Wow,” Josh said with a chuckle that was probably at least partially aimed at Buck. “Didn’t expect that turn of events.” 

“I don’t think anyone did,” Andrew said with a laugh. 

“Nope,” Buck said. “Not at all.” 

—-

Andrew liked Buck. He hadn’t had a real chance to spend any time with him while his parents were hovering around all the time, so it had been nice when they left him and Buck alone. But as much as Andrew did like Buck, there was something missing when he looked at him. It was different than everyone else he’d met so far, even the 118 when they’d stopped by for a few minutes. They were familiar even if Andrew didn’t know them. With Buck, it was like coming up short right up against a wall. 

Andrew was also pretty sure that he didn’t like guys. His dad had said something about how unexpected it had been for them to learn that Andrew had a boyfriend. How Andrew hadn’t told any of them. His mom hadn’t let him continue that line of thought as if Andrew would find it offensive or something. Andrew could tell that she was overprotective and that it probably didn’t even have much to do with the accident. Eddie had sort of confirmed that for him. 

They had told him all about the accident, though, what they knew of it. How he’d gotten knocked over somehow and then how he’d almost gotten run over by a car except that Buck had saved him and wasn’t Buck wonderful? 

His mom had looked at him then as if waiting for Andrew to pipe in and agree when he knew nothing about Buck. Of course, he’d saved his life so that absolutely made him okay in his eyes. Somehow, he didn’t feel anything when it came to Buck, though. 

Maybe it was his lack of memories or just something else...there was no knowing. All Andrew knew was that he didn’t think he was into guys and that there was something strange about Buck. But Andrew had amnesia and there was a lot that didn’t make sense like the dog so he just didn’t know what to make of it. Or how to ask anyone about it. 

Spending some time with Buck, though, it made him realize a few things. That Buck didn’t act like a significant other. Or maybe he was just good at giving Andrew space. But he didn’t crowd Andrew or fuss over him or any of those things that a boyfriend might do. In some ways, he was almost a little standoffish. 

Then Josh showed up. Josh felt a little bit familiar but not more than anyone else. He claimed to be Andrew’s best friend and when he heard Buck say that, he knew it was true. 

“Well, man, it’s so good to see you awake at last,” Josh said. 

“Thanks,” Andrew said. 

Josh busied himself putting the balloons down and then he sat down. “And how is this being handled? Are we telling you things? Not telling you things...what’s the deal?” 

Josh was fast paced. He spoke quickly and with some strange enthusiasm that didn’t seem to fail him, but Andrew liked that about him. It seemed familiar and like it fit and that brought him back yet again to realizing that Buck really didn’t. 

“Telling him things,” Buck said. 

“Oh, good,” Josh said. “No need to censor myself, then.” 

“Do you ever?” Buck asked. 

Josh just shrugged and then he jumped into a story about a night when he and Josh had been out at a bar. 

“This is before the ball and chain,” Josh said and threw a look at Buck. “Sorry, Buck.” 

Buck tried and failed to look mock offended but then he motioned for Josh to continue his story and Andrew kept his eyes on Buck but he really and truly did not remember him. He wanted to. 

–

Next Chapter

Notes: Okay so first note: I love writing Andrew and I really wanted to hit at the idea that even when he doesn’t know, he knows. And I believe in the next chapter we get a really good Andrew and Buck scene that I’m excited about. 

Another thing: Tres Leches (the cake abuela is making) - this is a cake of Mexican origin if I’m not mistaken that is essentially your basic white sponge but it is then drenched in mixture of evaporated milk, condensed milk, and heavy cream for hours to create something truly moist and amazing. If you ever have the chance to try it out or want the recipe hit me up because I make it often and frost it with a fruit mousse and it’s always a hit. 

Hope you guys enjoyed this one. Let me know what you thought of it! 

And if you want to be tagged in future chapters let me know! :) 

Tagging: @tranquility-or-chaos @diazbuckleysworld @stilesgivesmefeels

[onlycags]

Movie Night 9 | Çağlar Söyüncü

August: Barnes

- - -

This Saturday’s movie night is dedicated to my girl @chilly-me-softly because this is the first chapter she hasn’t read through completely before I posted it. Enjoy! xx

Alternate Title: Redemption

Çağlar hadn’t wanted to miss July’s movie night; up until two hours before, he had planned on going.

“Söyüncü!” Rodgers had yelled in the changing room after practice. “See me when you’re changed.”

He had followed reluctantly, noting the time on the clock before he entered Rodgers’s office. Even if whatever this meeting was ran over two hours, he would still be able to make movie night easily.

“Sir?” He asked, knocking lightly on the door.

“C’mon in, son. Have a seat.”

Çağlar sat down warily, wincing slightly from the tackle he’d taken out on the field earlier. “You okay?” Rodgers asked, taking off his readers.

“Yes,” he answered automatically, not wanting to admit weakness.

Rodgers shot him a look. “You sure?”

“Yes, sir.” Çağlar started to get up to leave.

“Sit back down,” Rodgers ordered, shocking the Turk into submission. “I was watching your performance during the EuroCup and I got worried, especially with that last match. You got subbed off after the first half and you were playing poorly. Care to tell me what’s been going on?”

Çağlar grimaced, running a hand through his hair. “It sounds stupid when you say it out loud.”

“Do I look like the kind of man who cares?”

“No, sir.” Çağlar took a breath and said, “It’s about a girl.”

Rodgers ran a hand over his face and sighed. “Forget what I just said, Söyüncü. I do care and it does sound stupid when you say it out loud. Spit it out - who is she?”

“She’s, uh, Maddison’s best mate.”

“[Y/N]? The one who comes around occasionally and is always visiting after matches?”

Çağlar nodded, looking down at his hands. “That’s her.”

“What’d she do to you? Is she messing with you? I can get a restraining order, we can take her to court, whatever needs to be done to get this taken care of.” He reached for the landline on his desk. “Hell, let’s get the PR team in here now and we can sort this whole thing out now. She trying to take you for your money?”

“No, sir. Nothing like that.”

“Well, then, what is it?”

“She slept with someone else.” Çağlar blushed and looked away, embarrassed to be sharing such intimate information with his coach.

“Well…fuck.” Çağlar raised his eyebrows at Rodgers’s swearing. “Were the two of you together?”

“Uh, not officially, sir.”

“But you had enough feelings for her that it’s affecting your performance on the pitch.” He sighed again, muttering to himself. “Ain’t that just a kick in the nuts.”

“Sir?”

“Sorry. An American expression I saw on telly - my daughter suggested I start ‘binge watching’ this American Football program called Friday Night Lights because she swears I am, and I quote, ‘just like Coach Taylor’. Needless to say, I am a bit obsessed.” He chuckled. “Women get us to do the craziest things.”

Çağlar nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Now, let’s discuss possible strategies to get you out of your head when you’re on the pitch. You’ve been so good at it before, but I’m betting that it’s because you trained to put certain scenarios out of your mind while you play.”

“That’s right. I always strategized about how I could improve my concentration and minimize distractions. Now, with a new distraction that I have not planned for, it is hard.”

“Let’s go make it easy.”

Rodgers ran drills and plays with Çağlar long after Belvoir’s closing time. By the time he was done, Çağlar was sure he would be able to play and not think about you.

He went home, tired and weary, completely forgetting all about movie night. When he did remember, he sent you a two-word text: I’m sorry.

~~~

He was slower than usual at training the next day, something the lads noticed and teased him about, but Rodgers gave him no flack.

At the end of training, Çağlar and Madders sat in the ice bath, Madders on his phone texting someone a kilometre a minute.

“You okay, mate?” Mads asked, setting his phone down.

“Yes.”

“We missed you at movie night.” A pause. “[Y/N] was there.”

“I am sorry. I was training last night.”

“That why you were slow today?”

“Yes. I was working out ways to get her out of my head when I play so that I am not distracted.”

“That why you weren’t at movie night?”

“Yes. I was running drills with Rodgers until late.”

“Did they help?”

“I think so. We shall see on Saturday’s match.”

“Have you gotten a chance to speak to her?”

“I do not know what to say. I do not even know if she will want to see me.”

“Mate!” Madders sighed, exasperated. “She was looking for you last night. Trust me, she wants to talk to you.” Madders pulled out his phone. “You know where The Ivy Soho Brasserie is in Leicester Square?”

Çağlar nodded.

“Good,” Mads replied, “because you’re meeting [Y/N] in an hour.”

“What?! No - I cannot meet her.”

“Relax, mate. She thinks she’s meeting me. Just show up and talk to her.”

~~~

An hour later, Çağlar showed up at the restaurant, nervous to see you. You were seated at a table in the back, head buried in your phone. You looked up from your phone and your eyes met Çağlar’s. The shock on your face had him wanting to turn and leave but he walked over to you with more confidence than he felt.

“Hello,” he greeted, placing an awkward kiss on your cheek.

“Hi. I thought James was meeting me here?” you asked, looking away as he sat down.

“He wanted us to talk so he sent me instead.”

You shrugged. “Okay.”

The waiter arrived and the two of you placed your orders. You were grateful for the distraction - it was unexpected to see him here and you were still reeling from the kiss he’d placed on your cheek.

When the waiter left, the awkward silence returned. You took a sip of your water and sighed. “Çağlar,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

He reached across the table and grabbed your hand, desperate to touch you in some small way. “Please, [Y/N], can we start over?”

Your heart hurt - you were still reeling from emotions you still processing almost a month later. “I…I don’t know, Çağlar. Did you sleep with her?”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head vehemently. “She tried to, but I stopped her because she was not you. What you saw the day you FaceTimed me - that was her trying to seduce me again. I told her that day that she and I were over and that we would never be together like that again.” He paused, the expression on his face tortured as he said, “We can work past this - I forgive you for sleeping with Jack.

You were openly crying now. “I didn’t sleep with Jack. I kissed him the night before we talked and I almost did, but I didn’t. I wanted to move on so badly, but you’re in my head and I-”

Your food arrived, Çağlar asking for the check and some takeaway boxes. You could only agree, your appetite gone the moment you saw him walk through the door.

The two of you walked to the nearest park in silence. You tried to get your emotions under control, still reeling from the restaurant.

You found a quiet space in the park away from everyone at a picnic table.

“Can we start over?” He asked again.

You played with the takeaway box in front of you, trying to find words. “I want to,” you whispered. “I just don’t know how we can.”

“Come to movie night in a month and we will begin again.”

You hesitated, but ultimately nodded. “Okay.”

The two of you parted ways a short time later. It was going to be a long twenty-nine days.

***

You arrived a few minutes early to Barnes’ flat, wearing your favourite sundress that gave you confidence and let you enjoy the last few sunny days of a Leicester summer.

Harvey wrapped you in a hug the moment you stepped through the door. “I haven’t seen you in ages, [Y/N]!” He exclaimed, his face flushed.

You laughed, pushing Harvey off you after he almost suffocated you with that hug. “Barnes, it’s only been a month! Are you drunk already?”

He shrugged. “A month is too long.” He smiled at you, cocking his head. “And yes, I’m a liiitle tipsy.”

You ruffled his hair, giggling at his outrage. “You silly boy.”

You made your way into the kitchen, setting your six-pack of beer on the counter along with the snacks you’d decided to bring. Just as you were cracking open your first beer, your eyes connected with Çağlar’s. Your body reacted the same way it always did when he was around - you looked away, blushing a bit, shocked at how much it felt like the first time you were seeing him again.

He took his time approaching you, which gave you time to drink him in. His joggers hung low on his hips and his dark t-shirt clung to his muscled shoulders and arms. He smirked when he noticed you checking him out, his eyes going a shade darker. He stopped inches from you and you stopped thinking for a moment as the smell of his cologne overwhelmed your senses.

“Hello, I’m Çağlar,” he said, holding out his hand.

You took it, gasping a little at the contact. “[Y/N],” you said, blushing again.

“Nice to meet you,” he murmured, leaning in.

Just as you were about to say something, a cacophony of noise brought the two of you out of your own little world as Tielemans, Perez, Madders and Chilly arrived.

“Thank god you’re here!” Barnes said, waving his arms dramatically at the four boys.

“Don’t say a word about being us being late,” Madders muttered, rolling his eyes as he walked over to you and Çağlar.

“Hey you two,” he said, pulling you in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, Mads,” you replied, smiling at your friend. “Why so grumpy?”

“Long day - those three kept annoying the shit out of me.”

“Well, Kasper Van Damme should be arriving soon, so he should be able to protect you from the big scary boys!” Harvey called out, cackling.

James reached into a nearby bowl of popcorn and chucked a handful in Harvey’s general direction. “Hey! No throwing popcorn in this flat, Maddison!” Came Harvey’s voice again.

“Sod off, Barnes!” Madders yelled back, making you laugh, accidentally leaning back into Çağlar as you did so.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, putting a bit of distance between the two of you.

“It is okay,” he said, placing a hand on your arm.

Schmeichel, Evans and Vardy arrived shortly before the movie began, Barnes huffing in annoyance, causing the three men to roll their eyes at him.

You tried to figure out where to sit, torn between wanting to sit next to Çağlar and hanging out with Mads. Just as you were about to give up, Çağlar grabbed your hand. You looked up at him, a questioning look on your face.

“Sit with me?” He asked and you nodded, smiling shyly.

You let him lead you to the sofa, automatically curling into his side as Barnes turns the lights down.

The movie opened with a New Orleans jazz scene that was obviously set in the eighties or early nineties. “What even is this?” Madders asked, obviously still in a mood.

“Only the best, weirdest spy movie ever!” Barnes replied. “One of my American friends introduced me to it.”

“What’s it called again?” Perez asked, grabbing some popcorn out of a nearby bowl.

“More importantly: how does Barnes have American friends?” Evans teased.

Barnes shushed everyone, citing the movie night rules. “It’s called Undercover Blues, and I have American friends because I’m a social butterfly,” he pouted, making everyone turn their attention back to the movie.

You were utterly fascinated. It was an American film you hadn’t seen before, which seemed to be rare these days. Everyone seemed to be enchanted by it - even Kasper laughed out loud multiple times. Stanley Tucci, Dennis Quaid, and Kathleen Turner were amazing, the comedic timing off the charts.

“Hey, isn’t that Aunt Petunia?” Chilly asked when the antagonist came on.

“It is,” Barnes confirmed, his expression serious. “Fiona Shaw is a goddess.”

You laughed, snuggling deeper into Çağlar. It felt like the first few movie nights again, the two of you cuddling on the sofa while everyone else watched the movie. You could feel his heart beating underneath your fingertips, enjoying the feel of him next to you.

The movie ended, everyone still slightly confused by nineties-American humour but you had thoroughly enjoyed the movie. “Can I take you home?” Çağlar asked, appearing at your side as you walked out of Harvey’s flat.

“Sure,” you said, butterflies in your stomach as you remembered the last time he took you home.

You sat in the passenger seat, fiddling with your hands. The deja vu was intense, struggling to remain calm as you thought about what was going to happen when the two of you got to your flat.

“Walk me to my door?” You asked, your voice shaking slightly.

“Okay.”

Çağlar walked next to you, silent. He stood behind you as you put your key in your door. You turned to him.

“Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”

“No, thank you,” he said, shaking his head. You tried not to let your disappointment show, but Çağlar wouldn’t let you hide your feelings from him, placing a hand underneath your chin and making you look at him. He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear.

“Go on a date with me.”

[ti-bae-rius]

Chance Encounters - Part 2/2

(Read part 1 here: https://ti-bae-rius.tumblr.com/post/185651968861/chance-encounters-part-12)

I’ve been held up from writing this for @daisyherxndale for AGES so I hope it isn’t a disappointment now it’s written! But yeah, bit of kitty, bit of Mina and Kit sibling stuff, and some ghost!livvy. Enjoy part 2 of this fic which was a little longer than expected!

Ty walked over to where Kit was pushing Mina on the swings and stood in front of her, putting his hands up for her to push her feet off. She laughed when they made contact, her little welly boots being pressed, pushing her back towards her big brother, giggling gleefully.

“How’s Church?” Ty asked finally and Kit sighed, grateful he didn’t have to be the one to break the silence. 

“Good. He’s a little gremlin, but you wouldn’t think it was the same cat around Jem. They’re like...obsessed with each other.”

“Kitty!” Mina added and Kit smiled fondly.

“Oh yeah, Mina’s charmed him too,” Kit explained. “Haven’t you? You’re friends with Church the kitty cat, aren’t you?”

“No! Kit and Ty! K-I-T-T-Y,” she said, spelling it out phonetically with little kid letters. “Kitty!”

“That’s called a portmanteau,” Ty told her, nonplussed. “The blending of two words. It’s French - and that word itself is a kind of portmanteau of the words ‘porter’ and ‘manteau’. Isn’t that neat?”

“Neat,” Mina laughed, repeating the Americanism back to him in amusement. 

Kit’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it from his jeans, glancing at the screen as he pushed Mina with one hand. Jem’s photo showed up and he slid his finger along the screen to take the call. It was always hit or miss whether or not Jem intended to call; he was not the most adept at technology. However, he also worried when Kit didn't answer, so Kit sat also worried when Kit didn’t answer, so Kit sat himself on a bench and put the phone to his ear.

“Hi, Jem. All okay?”

“Everything’s fine. I just wanted to check in. Tessa’s found a new antique bookshop.”

“We’ll never see her again,” Kit grinned. “A bachelor once more, Brother Back-in-the-game-ariah, am I right?”

“I don’t have words to describe how much those nicknames disturb me,” Jem returned, which made Kit laugh. “How’s Mina?”

Kit glanced up and looked around when he saw the swings were empty. He saw his sister at the top of the slide, beckoning Ty after her. He obeyed, taking the ladder three rungs at a time, so he was at the top in only a couple of steps. Mina slid down and ran off to the climbing frame, leaving Ty to follow her. Mina was pulling herself up on the lattice of rope to be at eye level with Ty. Ty tucked his knees up to swing across a set of monkey bars which made Mina clap her hands together, impressed, She reached her arms up and Ty lifted her onto one shoulder, carrying her as she swung herself between the monkey bars, weightless and safe in Ty’s strong grip. At the end, he set her down and bent to give her a high five. Kit’s heart twisted. 

“She’s good, keeping Ty busy,” Kit said, sounding faraway and distracted, even t his own ears. He was hardly listening anymore, otherwise occupied watching Ty and Mina. This was not the Ty he’d left behind in Los Angeles in 2012, the young man who played with his little sister now, his past and present crashing together. Where did that leave his future? Kit thought. This Ty was taller and willowy, careful and calm. He was different, yet entirely the boy Kit remembered.

“Hello?”

Kit almost dropped the phone when Jem’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Sorry, hey. I was just thinking.”

“It looks like Tessa is finally done. We’re going to head home and - oh by the Angel, Tessa! Darling, how many more books do you need?” The line disconnected and Kit smiled, sliding his phone back into his pocket. 

“Mina! Mummy and Daddy are on their way home. Let’s go and have some lunch,” Kit called and Mina grabbed Ty’s hand, pulling him along after her. Kit grinned at Ty’s awkward gait, having to bend to keep his hand in hers, looking startled. When they reached Kit, she stretched her free hand out to him, anchoring the two boys, one on each side of her.

“Swing!” Mina pleaded and Kit lifted her by the arm, Ty copying him, and the two swung her between them, making her squeal happily. This was what it would be like if we had a kid of our own, me and Ty. Kit startled at the thought. Where had that come from? He glanced across, wondering if Ty was thinking the same thing. His side-profile gave nothing away, but when he glanced across and met Kit’s eye, he blushed and ducked his head. 

“Where’s Livvy?” Kit asked when they’d got back.

“She’s hidden, but she’s here,” Ty said, taking a sip of the can Kit handed him. He winced. “What is this? It’s awful.”

“It’s Irn-Bru,” Kit laughed.

“It tastes like gasoline,” he coughed. 

“That’s petrol to you while you’re here,” Kit joked. “Here, give me that. You’ll like this one better.” He slid his own can across the kitchen counter and Ty drank from it, nodding.

“That’s way better. But yes, Livvy’s here. We just didn’t want Mina to be scared if she could see ghosts too, and I didn’t know how your parents would react.” He froze, glancing at Kit. “Sorry, I didn’t mean...I know your dad...”

“It’s okay. Tessa and Jem are like my parents.” Kit smiled. “But, um, I’d like to talk to Livvy, if that’s okay? Like...in private?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. I’ll leave you to chat.” He glanced up. “Livvy, you can make yourself visible. It’s okay.”

Kit was, as always, somewhat taken aback by Livvy’s appearance. She looked so young, only fifteen. Kit hadn’t realised how much three years could change a person, but Livvy looked so much younger than him still. It was hard to see someone you cared about frozen in time, unable to grow and become older. It made him think of Tessa, who would stay young as the others aged around her. It wasn't eerie as much as it was sad. 

“Hey, Livs,” he smiled, as Ty closed the door behind him, going out into the garden where Tessa, Jem, and Mina were sat. Tessa was lounging on a picnic blanket, Jem’s arm around her, leaning back against his shoulder. They were watching Mina, who was looking at something on Ty’s sleeve, some creature or other, no doubt.

“Sorry again about your conservatory,” Livvy said, and Kit laughed. 

“You say that every time you see me,” Kit pointed out. “It’s fine. I told you, Magnus fixed it right up. It’s as good as new - probably better than new since Magnus probably added a little pizzazz to it.”

“That’s Mina, huh?” she asked, smiling wistfully. She was peeking around the alcove to look outside, careful not to make herself visible to the others. “She’s beautiful.”

Kit nodded. “I know. She’s amazing. She’s such a fast learner and so clever. I swear she’ll be reading War and Peace by the time she’s seven.” Livvy laughed, and it sounded unpractised. Kit supposed she didn’t have much cause for laughter nowadays. “How are you?”

“Dead, as per usual,” Livvy replied. “You?”

“Alive for now,” Kit told her. “Fingers crossed I stay that way. I-um...who’s Anush?” Kit blurted and Livvy covered her face with her hands, though her transparent form meant Kit could still see her despairing head shake.

“Just some guy from the Scholomance. Stop being all jealous.”

Kit scoffed, blushing. “I’m not. Shut up.”

“Um, says the person who asked me to manifest,” Livvy retorted. “But seriously? You asked me to show just to interrogate me about my twin’s potential relationships?”

“No!” Kit assured her quickly. “I wanted to talk to you. What are you guys gonna do when Ty graduates?”

“I wanna go back to L.A.,” Livvy admitted. “I don’t know if it’s the best idea though, or if Ty will even want to go back. He misses everyone but I think he quite likes the independence. I just worry that it’ll all go wrong. I’m okay when we go back for a few days or weeks, but staying there indefinitely feels like tempting fate. You know?”

Kit looked up at her. “Well I hope you come back and visit, wherever you go.”

“Ty wouldn’t stay away from you for long now he’s finally got you back,” she smiled. “He’d always come back and visit you, and we come as a package deal - even more than when I was live. Plus,” she added, nodding to the garden where Ty was sat with Mina, “I think he’s made a new friend.” Kit smiled and Livvy sighed sadly. “Go. They’ll be missing you. I’ll see you later, Kit.”

“Wait!” he called, and she paused, hovering. “Thank you. We’re still best friends, right? If you want to talk, get Ty to visit and we’ll talk.”

“Of course we’re still best friends. Besides, you don’t have much competition in that department,” she added. “I’ll see you soon.”

With that, she vanished, though Kit could almost pretend he could see her, floating behind Ty. Mina was looking up at him, awestruck. It took a moment for Kit to realise why; a squirrel was sat on his shoulder and he was feeding it nuts from the feeder in the apple tree. Kit didn’t need any reason to look at Ty with the wonder his little sister did. When he headed outside, sitting down in the grass and pulling Mina carefully into his lap, she turned to shush him, pressing her finger to his lips. 

“Sssh. Squiggle.”

Kit nodded solemnly, though he smiled as soon as she turned back around, wrapping his arms around her. He could still remember when she was newly born and he’d held her. Kit had never believed that babies smelt as good as everyone said, but Mina’s hair tickled his nose as he breathed and she smelt of vanilla and cotton and milky tea. He rested his chin on her head now and breathed in the memory of it watching Ty with a heart that was swelling so great he wondered when it would inevitably break. 

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 160

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 12 - “Protect Urara’s Stage!” Date watched: 23 November 2019 Original air date: 22 April 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/KiGZvA2 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

When did this become the Precure stage show?

As I indicated in the last review, this is one of those episodes that just really sticks out in my memory, but it turns out I don’t actually remember much about it at all. It’s not as impactful as I recalled, but it represents a step forward for Urara and it has a kickass fight. Let’s get started!

The Plot

Urara has been tapped to host a stage show at an amusement park, which is a big break in her career. She meets her friends at the park, along with her overly prepared manager Washio and Masuko Mika, who’s there to write about her for the paper. Mika and Washio hit it off right away, speculating about where Urara’s career could go from here, culminating in a Hollywood movie and an Oscar nod.

Urara arrives at her rehearsal, goes through wardrobe, and starts going through her routine. Unfortunately the star of the show has had an emergency and called out. Nozomi quickly volunteers to play her part in the show, to save Urara’s debut. Unfortunately, she isn’t a very good actress, but it’s too late to cancel the show now. Outside, we see Girinma handing out fliers for the show and making ominous remarks about its content....

At showtime, the stadium is filled with children and their parents, wanting to see the forest animals show. Nozomi is extremely nervous, despite Urara’s reassurance, and trips and falls during her entrance.

Before she can recover, Girinma drops a mask onto a prop tree, which turns into a giant Kowaina. Out in the crowd, Mika is confused by this strange story direction but the audience all thinks it’s part of the show. (no magical falling asleep here!) Rin, Karen, and Komachi all rush onto stage with Nozomi and Urara but aren’t sure if they should transform with all these people watching. However, Urara’s actor instincts kick in and she tells the audience to look at up just as Karen convinces the stage manager to turn on the spotlights, blinding the audience members momentarily. The girls seize their opportunity and transform into Precure. They fight the Kowaina as the opening theme starts playing, and it’s a very visually spectacular fight as they run, jump, and dive through tree branches and vines to try to land a few solid hits on the monster. It tries to shoot a leaf storm at the audience but Mint blocks it with her shield, and then Girinma tries to attack a nosy Mika, who is protected by Aqua. Dream manages to shoot off a Dream Attack, defeating the Kowaina, as Girinma retreats. There’s a gag during all of this where Washio is worried because he can’t see Urara, and somehow didn’t connect the dots when the five girls transformed on stage.

Mika, recognizing the Pretty Cures from her first meeting with them, takes lots of pictures of the battle and plans to write a piece about them. They’re sure that this time they’re busted, but once again Nuts runs interference, going up to her in his human state and saying hello. The next day at school, all the students are crowded around the newspaper again, and wouldn’t you know, it’s an expose on Nuts and Mika’s fated reunion, with a tiny article about Urara’s stage show at the bottom. Washio comes up and asks Urara to put on that show again, because the Precure fight was a smash hit with audiences, but the other four girls wave it off, and the episode ends.

The Analysis

I don’t know where to start. Urara is giving it her all in this stage show, and she even improvs a bit to keep their cover and distract the audience while they transform. She’s really good at what she does, and she has a promising future as an actor ahead of her. She presents a really energetic performance for the kids and tries to mitigate the danger by making it seem like the monster attack is part of the show. The show must go on, indeed! Additionally, when Nozomi steps up to play the part of the rabbit, despite fumbling in the costume and having trouble with her lines, Urara just rolls with it. I love that all the girls are really rooting for this to work out for her, and during the fight they defend the sanctity of the show and Urara’s part. And honestly, props to Nozomi as well. She’s trying her best here. She’s clumsy and has been kicked out of the drama club before, but her heart is in the right place, and there are no better options so the other three girls agree to help her with cue cards.

there’s a new kaiju in town

The battle itself is action-packed and filled with some dynamic scenes that I will turn into gifs. It’s one of the better fights in this show so far. I love how the girls fly around through the vines and branches, delivering some swift ass-kickings. There is some reused footage from the opening, namely the part where the five girls line up as the song counts off “One, two, three four five!” The kowaina makes itself a difficult target, despite its large size, and that keeps the battle interesting. It takes some work for the girls to actually get to the mask and break it. The large amount of civilians keep the stakes high, as they’re easy targets for a massive attack. This lets us see Mint use her shield in a more interesting way than normal (because I’ll be honest, a lot of the times she blocks the enemy’s attack when she could just dodge). I love getting to see her make use of her strengths. Shield cures are highly situational, but this was a situation in which it was very effective. Also, I liked how Mika’s insatiable lust for a scoop put her in danger. She won’t learn from it, but it’s an action that had nearly fatal consequences because Girinma was out for her head, and it took Aqua intervening to save her. When she did that, she referred to her by name, which might cause Mika to recognize them down the road... I don’t think so but we’ll find out.

Speaking of special attacks, there’s something I want to discuss about them. In the FW shows, the special attack was only ever used as a finisher. They never used Marble Screw or Twin Stream Splash to attack in the middle of a battle, but they do use their special attacks in Yes 5 as both attacks and finishers. Some of their attacks simply don’t work as finishers (I mean, I’d like to see them TRY to finish a monster off with Mint Protection, that’d be cool), and pink rules so you usually see Dream Attack used to take down the monster. What they don’t have is a clear group finisher. That will change, of course, but as long as this persists, I get a sense of inconsistency about what will and won’t destroy a Kowaina. The use of special attacks that aren’t finishers is a bit of a deviation from the original concept but it’s still tame here. I don’t think they ever go too far down this rabbit hole, but it’s worth noting.

This episode manages to mix in a good amount of comedy on the side, without overwhelming the main plot, and I admire the balance. Washio is a fun manager but he is really over-prepared. He appears carrying two giant duffle bags for Urara, despite the fact that her outfit is provided, and among the many things he has brought are some charms for....

Nono Hana could use that last one

He and Mika play off of each other really well, they’ve got a nice comic relief duo schtick going on. Mika, of course, is mainly in this to get a good story for the paper, and having a local celebrity at school is a good outlet. Reporting on her career advancements is a big step up from reporting what she ate for lunch. Both of them readily buy into the fight scene, assuming it’s part of the show and not that there was some kind of actual danger, and Washio is just distressed that Urara has disappeared instead of fearing for his life. At the end of the episode, both of them ramp up the comedy in their own way. Mika’s crush on Nuts has not yet gotten old, and probably won’t for a while yet (don’t quote me on that), so continuing the running gag where she gets distracted from a big story by a chance (or intentional) encounter with him gets a thumbs up in my book. I don’t get tired of seeing Nozomi and Rin’s exasperated faces when they see her reports.

Also, Urara has a nice little gag there where she’s hopping up and down trying to read the paper because she can’t see over their shoulders. I’ll gif that soon.

Urara gets a couple of other moments of note, where she seems to be breaking the fourth wall. At the very start, when she’s sort of practicing her introductory speech to the crowd, she turns to speak to the show’s audience, and Rin questions who she’s even talking to. (Rin makes a good straight man, by the way).

The last gag of note is when Coco and Nuts say they tagged along because you never know when a Pinky could show up.... and then a Pinky shows up right then. Yeah, Pinkies, remember them? They’re kind of supposed to be driving the plot. There’s more of them than there are Heartiels and Miracle Drops combined, yet they’re barely mentioned.

Just some other small observations before I wrap this up, I love everybody’s street clothes in this episode. They’re a little different from what we’ve seen them wearing before.

except for Rin

Urara’s sailor blouse and knee-length skirt make her look a little more mature than her normal attire of puffy shorts and sleeves. The other four are wearing outfits strongly reminiscent of their clothes from the ending. Rin and Nozomi’s outfits are exactly that, except for the butterflies. Komachi and Karen’s outfits are the same as what they wear in the ending, but the colors are a little different.

for reference

And for some reason the art in this episode is very hit-or-miss. A lot of good shots still seem slightly off model. It’s a little jarring, it’s not low-detail (except for one laughably bad frame), it’s just that faces are drawn with warped shapes. Yes I am going to chronicle every time this happens in every show, it’s notable.

What happened here is that they quickly zoomed out to show the whole stage, and they wouldn’t need to show much detail, so to achieve the effect, they started way zoomed in on the cell before pulling back, rather than create a new drawing for one just frame. It’s not really visible when watching.

So, animation stuff aside.... this was a great episode! Since the major theme of this show is finding and chasing your dream, showing each girl’s different progress in that regard is important, and they do it so well. Urara is a bit further ahead than the others, but she still has a lot of work to do to become a famous actor, and her friends want to help her however possible. It’s what this show does best, and this was a fun stepping stone.

Next time, Rin is getting pulled in every direction at once! Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 “kettei” by Nozomi herself, 1 each by Washio and Mika (spoken together)

NOTE: I’m going to come back to add some gifs to this post at a later date. I really wanted to include them the first time around but due to unforseen circumstances, this review was delayed several days past when I wanted to get it out, so I didn’t want to delay it any further. I’ll make a post on @pcd-status​ when I update this.