#like he would give that answer😭😭😭

[waynes-multiverse]

Aww, these were so sweet 🥹 (Even SB 😭)

Also, as someone who gained a lot during pregnancy, I greatly appreciated these! Good reminder to be a little kinder to ourselves sometimes (and rock those curves) ☺️🩵

You inspect yourself with growing dejection, noting all the places that are rounder, heavier, less firm than they used to be.

Giving me full PTSD here, girl 😂

Too much shitty fast food, too many times you indulged yourself with snacks and dessert alongside your foodie boyfriend.

And yep, that's always the worst when your partner eats so much crap and does not gain an ounce. Like, how?! Are you magic???

Dean's heart clenches. He's downright shocked at your confession, and more than a little disheartened. He presses a hand to your cheek and guides you to look at him.

Sobbing 😭 He so would do that! And honestly, love doesn't give a shit about looks. I mean, at some point, we all will be wrinkly and saggy, so you better hope there's more there than looks 😅🤷‍♀️

"Feels that much better when I fuck you."

Bury me in a ditch... 🫠🫠

"I'd like to, but I think I'd just smother you. I'm about to pass out."

Lovely 😆

Oh, Beau! Sweet, sweet Beau... I can so see him and reader getting their wires crossed, and him not even registering it while she quietly suffers 🙈 I feel like that happens a lot to couples, though, when times get a little stressful and busy. Loved the realism of this!!

The mere thought dredges up what's been plaguing your mind recently, and it has your throat tightening. Tears of embarrassment and upset well up in your eyes, no matter how much you try to push it down.

Poor, tired Beau, though, now dealing with a crying and upset reader 😂 (Do you think he retrospectively wished he would've just let her hop on for a quick ride? lmao)

The man may not be very patient, or particularly perceptive, but he's not an idiot. At least, not about sex.

DEAD 💀

Also 💯 agree with this SB headcanon 😂😂

And weirdly, I thought from the start that Ben would probably mind the least of all of them if his partner put on a few extra pounds. If grannies don't scare this man, weight certainly won't either lol (His answer was perfection 😂😘)

He snorts. "And? You think it's anything I haven't seen?"At that, your head tilts in consideration. Butcher's Granny Fucker remark comes to mind. You bite your lip against a smirk.

EXACTLY 🤣🤣

But so on point for him to be jealous at first and accuse her of cheating 🙈 I also wonder how long she got away with it, considering that man's sex drive.

Loved all of them so much, friend!!! 🩵🩵🩵

Headcanon: Body Insecurity/Appreciation

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Beau Arlen x Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

AN: This one was requested by one of my lovely Patreon members, @roseblue373. 💜 It's a special one to me personally, being plus-sized myself and having gone through my share of insecurities. Wish I had one of these guys to make it better lol!~

Prompt/Request: Great job with the latest Dean/Beau/Ben reacts vignettes! I'd love to see one where reader has put on weight and isn't happy with their body, and how each would make her feel better!! IF the muse agrees, of course! ❤️

HC: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to your body insecurity.

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Established relationship, body insecurity (but also body appreciation), thicc thirty, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, spiciness/smuttishness.

Dean Winchester

You've started breezing past mirrors when you get out of the shower.

Because if you catch sight of your own reflection, you can't help but utter a sigh, your lips dipping into a frown.

In the privacy of the room you share with Dean in the bunker, you take a risk in unwrapping the towel from your body in front of the mirror.

You inspect yourself with growing dejection, noting all the places that are rounder, heavier, less firm than they used to be.

Looks like no amount of running down leads and killing monsters has been enough to keep you in shape.

Too much shitty fast food, too many times you indulged yourself with snacks and dessert alongside your foodie boyfriend.

"What'cha doin', sweetheart?" Dean asks. He steps into the room while wiping donut icing from the corner of his mouth.

Speak of the devil.

When Dean finally catches you frowning at yourself in the mirror, you inhale sharply and close the towel back up.

"Nothing. Just need to get dressed," you reply quickly. "Shower's open."

You try to offer him a smile, despite the pang of jealousy when you eye him.

He gave you the first chance at the shower after the latest case wrapped up, so he's still wearing most of his FBI suit, sans jacket. The white dress shirt is rolled up to his elbows, a few days of scruff neatly trimmed across his cheeks.

The man can cram an entire pizza down his gullet and wash it down with three slices of apple pie, not to mention countless beers. And still, Dean stays looking downright edible.

By comparison, you feel...fat. Like you've let yourself go.

You turn away from him to grab your well-worn sweatpants and an oversized shirt; you plan to change alone in the bathroom, but Dean grabs your arm.

"Who says you need to get dressed?" he says, popping his brows with a suggestive grin. He slips his arms around your waist, but your instinct is to shy away from his hold. You chuckle awkwardly and avoid his now curious gaze.

"Sorry, babe. Um...I'm wiped. I just want to get to bed," you say.

But Dean isn't fooled. His spidey sense is tingling, and his gut is almost never wrong.

His hand slides down your arm and grasps your hand, tugging you back into his arms. You utter a little gasp, but you ultimately smile at his familiar grin. There's a perceptive gleam in his eyes though.

"You know, seems like you've been pretty wiped lately," he says, raising a brow. "It's been a while since we, uh..."

He waggles his brows playfully, squeezing your hips. You want to smile, but you can't let yourself. You can't quite look at him either.

For Dean, it's another glaring red flag. His lips form a frown, and he dips his chin to find your eyes.

"Hey," he says. "What's goin' on? Talk to me."

His tone is so sincere, you have to blink against the sting of tears. Your lower lip wobbles, and Dean frowns in earnest. He presses a hand to your cheek and gets you to look at him with your watery eyes.

"Sweetheart, you gotta tell me what's wrong," he says, more gently, but serious.

Eventually, you're able to get it out. You can't bear the thought of him touching you, because lately, you can't even bear looking at yourself.

"I know I've been gaining weight, I just..." your voice breaks, and you gesture haphazardly at your body. "I'd get it if you're not really into this right now."

Dean's heart clenches. He's downright shocked at your confession, and more than a little disheartened. He presses a hand to your cheek and guides you to look at him.

"All right, hold up just one damn minute."

His calloused fingers gently brush away your tears, but his hands keep moving, slowly traveling down your body. They slide down your bare arms, skimming the sides of your breasts.

Your breath hitches. Your hand is still fisted over your beating heart, keeping your towel closed. His hands continue to move, molding to the curve of your waist over the fuzzy fabric.

"I'll admit, we've been pretty busy lately with everything we've got going on. But if you think that means I'm ever not into this delectable, sexy, voluptuous, goddess body you got rockin' the house?" he says, grinning that utterly Dean grin of his.

You bite your lip against a bubble of laughter. He's too fucking much sometimes.

Dean tugs you closer, until your hips fit snugly against his through his slacks. His tall, broad frame crowds you. His lips skim your cheek, then over your lips in a tease.

He squeezes the flesh of your hips, tender and sensuous.

Your heart flutters at the feeling.

"Mmm, I like you nice and soft," he murmurs against your cheek, close to your ear. "Feels that much better when I fuck you."

A small gasp gets trapped in your throat, while the gravel depths in his voice go straight to your pussy in a pulsing throb of warmth.

By the time he claims your lips in a devouring kiss, you're all too willing to let him peel your towel open, drop it to the floor, and guide you backwards onto the bed.

There he'll take his time, forging yet another mental map of every plush square inch of you.

Beau Arlen

Beau is a busy man. You understand that.

As Sheriff, his job demands a lot from him. He's also a father and has an ex-wife to contend with. (You knew that going in, and you've come to love Emily too.)

However, you can't help but start to take it personally when your sex life begins to suffer. He's often claimed being tired...but there's another suspicion that's been taking root in your mind, feeding your doubts and insecurities about how your boyfriend sees you, and about how you see yourself.

When you slip into bed at night, a kiss goodnight is all he gives you lately, before he's sighing deeply and closing his eyes, his soft snores soon filling the room.

One night, you try touching his shoulder, leaning in to kiss his bearded cheek. He hums at the pleasant feeling.

"You wanna...?" You trail the question in his ear, pressing more sweet kisses down his neck.

"Aw, sweetheart," he groans. "I'd like to, but I think I'd just smother you. I'm about to pass out."

You huff a laugh. You teasingly walk two fingers across his chest. "What if I make it easy for you?"

You shift onto your side. Resting a hand on his chest, you lean down to kiss him. He hums at the softness of it, but the more passion you try to imbue into each new kiss, Beau isn't as responsive as you would like. Eventually, you stop all together.

You frown, becoming disheartened. "You're not into this, I guess."

He opens his tired eyes, gazes up at you in apology. He opens his mouth to reply, but you beat him to it.

"You know it's been a month since we've had sex," you say.

Beau frowns, sliding a hand up your back. Only now does he notice, with appreciation, the familiar silky négligée you're wearing.

"Nah, that doesn't sound right," he says.

"Well, it is," you say. "I know you say you're tired, but I mean, you've had this job for as long as I've known you, Beau." Your eyes fall away from him. "So is it the job, or...is it me?"

Beau's brows furrow. "Now wait a minute."

The mere thought dredges up what's been plaguing your mind recently, and it has your throat tightening. Tears of embarrassment and upset well up in your eyes, no matter how much you try to push it down.

You push away from him and turn away, crossing your arms. You try not to look at yourself in what used to be your favorite lingerie.

You can't stand the extra weight you've put on, mostly in your hips and ass, but in your middle and arms too.

You've gone through your own stress at work this year, with less and less time to try and take care of yourself, along with making sure Emily gets to and from school, cooking for the three of you, going to PTA meetings when Carla can't make it (since Beau often can't), and every other proverbial hat you wear.

Beau follows you, sitting up and laying a hand on your back. "Sweetheart--"

"I know I've put on a few. Hell, more than a few," you admit, hastily wiping under your eyes. "God, I can't even look at myself right now, let alone have you--"

"Hey. You stop right there," Beau says, more firmly. He gets you to turn around with his hand on your shoulder. He doesn't like the way you're curled in on yourself, as if hiding your body from his gaze.

That, and the sight of your tears damn well break his heart.

He cups the side of your face gently and presses a tender kiss to your forehead, followed closely by your lips.

You don't want to melt, but you just can't help it. You cling to the front of his shirt and lean into his kiss, like you've been lost in the desert, and his lips hold the breath of life.

You almost don't realize it when his arms slip around your waist. He earns a surprised yelp from you when he gathers you close against his chest and rolls you underneath him.

You land against the pillows in a huff. You stare up at his playful smile, his green eyes glinting with amusement, with fondness, and also with desire as they roam over your breasts, barely contained by dark green satin and lace.

"I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" he says. His voice is a low, earthy drawl as his gaze rakes over you. His big hand runs down your side and over your hip, then down your bare thigh, squeezing soft, tender flesh. He slips that hand under the satin night gown.

His hand can't span your entire thigh, but it's not for lack of trying. Your heart beats a staccato rhythm at the way he looks at you, your breath hitching when his thumb dips between your legs, brushing against the damp, silky fabric of your panties.

"It's not because I don't find you sexy as hell. Believe me, darlin', I do," he says. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, especially when you're all laid out for me here."

And he means what he says. You know it by the hardness you feel pressing against your hip. You slip your fingers into his hair with a sigh.

He bows his head to press kisses along your neck; down and down, he noses at the thin strap of your night gown. His path of kisses continue, and he indulges himself by dipping his tongue between the valley of your breasts.

"Filling out this lacy little thing so nice," he murmurs into your skin.

Your upset has turned to abject relief, but you still have to blink away the remaining urge to cry.

You let out a slightly tremulous breath.

"Oh, yeah?" you ask.

Beau pauses. He pulls away, just so he can look up and meet your eyes. He still finds insecurity in yours, so he meets you with a kiss filled with heat and intent.

He's now wide awake. He plans to take his sweet time taking you apart, inch by inch.

In fact, in the back of his mind, he also plans to do better about letting his deputies help him out more at the precint so he can have a better work-life balance.

(Because going a whole damn month without the taste of you is "no bueno," in his words.)

Soldier Boy (Ben)

The man may not be very patient, or particularly perceptive, but he's not an idiot.

At least, not about sex.

He knows that you've been feigning tiredness, and generally avoiding his touch.

What's strange is that you haven't been avoiding him. You still cook for him, still share conversation with him, still insist on having him spoon you on the couch while catching him up on the past four decades of TV shows and movies.

But when he begins to sneak a hand under your oversized shirt (an old one of Ben's), caressing your hip, then dipping down to your softer stomach on the way to your panties, breaking your concentration from the movie as unease laces down your spine.

You grab his wrist on reflex, instead lacing your fingers together.

"What's the matter now?" he asks.

You look over your shoulder at him and find him frowning at you, a divot between his brows. You don't manage to hold his gaze for long.

"Sorry," you say quietly. "I'm just, um, tired."

Ben doesn't believe you, and he's direct when he calls you out on it.

Reluctant to put what you've been feeling into words, you pause the movie and leave the couch (and him) behind.

Ben is annoyed enough to follow you (and underneath, he hides an edge of concern). The conflict leads into the bedroom, where you're still unwilling to open up.

He finally stops you from walking away from him, pinning you against the dresser by your hips. He practically looms over you as he demands an answer. He knows you're hiding something — something that's had you reluctant to let him touch you.

"Is there something you wanna tell me?" he says, a raw edge of warning in his tone. "What, are you fucking somebody else?"

Shock flashes in your eyes, making you angry. "What? No!"

"Well, you seem to be getting your fill somewhere, and it hasn't been from me--"

"Are you fucking serious? I'm not..." Your lips purse. You're actually hurt that he would hurl that accusation your way--and it couldn't be farther from the truth.

You tug your long shirt downwards and cross your arms, but it's more like you're hugging yourself, shielding your body away.

Ben's brows furrow a little bit more.

Eventually you get it out; you haven't been feeling up to being intimate because you're having a hard time even looking at yourself lately.

"I know I need to, um, get back in shape," you say, taking in a shaky breath to try and steady yourself. Your throat constricts, the beginnings of tears stinging your eyes. You want to look at anywhere but at Ben. "I just haven't had much time, with everything going on. But Annie gave me this guide on some different diets, like intermittent fasting, Keto--"

"Fasting," Ben intones. "What, you wanna fucking starve yourself? What the fuck is Keto?"

You sigh, barely resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

"No, not starve myself. And Keto's just..." The idea of trying to explain the new diet craze to your boyfriend is too daunting a task to consider. "Never mind. The point is, I have a plan. My hips, my thighs, my ass--"

Ben squeezes your hips at the mention of them. He happens to like the softness.

"Yeah, you've got a little extra. So fucking what?" he says, his voice deep and exacting as his gaze roams over your body. "Just gives me more to hold onto when I'm fucking you."

You utter a shocked laugh. "Ben!"

He grins lazily, and he turns you this way and that, admiring you from all angles. In his eyes, he doesn't find a side he doesn't like. You can't help but blush hotly under his gaze.

"Sweetheart, do whatever you want if it makes you feel good. But you don't need to starve yourself." His hands move to your ass, squeezing a bit harder on the plush flesh.

A yelp escapes you; he's pressing into you from the front as well, and you feel him heavy and already half-hard against you. You grab onto his arms for stability as your breaths quicken.

His attitude kind of surprises you, even though it soothes the frayed, insecure part of your soul that wants to be as beautiful and attractive in his eyes as he is in yours.

Ben is literally a super soldier. You're actually kind of jealous. The man can drug and booze hard and eat whatever the hell he wants, but his super metabolism just seems to absorb it into his washboard abs.

(The more you think about it, the more you want to smack him.)

Nothing about him isn't hard and lean, muscle and strength.

Only his hands have a measure of gentleless when they're holding you like this.

"I've just got so many stretch marks now," you begin to complain, in an emotional whisper.

He snorts. "And? You think it's anything I haven't seen?"

At that, your head tilts in consideration. Butcher's Granny Fucker remark comes to mind. You bite your lip against a smirk.

Ben crooks a curled finger under your chin. He guides you to meet his eyes, before he lures you into a lusty kiss.

It's somewhat rough because of his beard, but you still smile afterwards, leaning against him now.

"Ain't nothing about you that I can't handle," he adds, all smirking and cocky. To prove his point, he hooks those strong hands behind your thighs and lifts you onto the dresser.

You gasp and cling to his shoulders. From there, he makes quick work of ridding the oversized shirt from your body, revealing you to the cool air and his hot gaze.

You take his face in your hands and bring him in for an even steamier kiss, your heart lighter and trembling with anticipation.

You've held yourself from him long enough, Ben thinks, and he has every intention of devouring you right on your old dresser -- before you two even get to the bed.

AN: 😮‍💨 I feel like each of these could've been even longer with their own one-shot loll. I wrote the Midnight Espresso-verse for Dean, partially to explore what his relationship would be like with a plus-sized reader. 💖💖

Let me know which one you liked most this time!

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[capquinn]

what about quinn just basking in the way bug and mom interact?? its like they have their own secret language and he loves to watch it happen, makes him all fuzzy and warm and just honestly fall in love with you even more (if thats even possible) seeing you as a mom

i just know quinny would find himself tearing up every once in a while when he sees them all soft like this 😭😭

Quinn leans against the doorway, arms crossed, watching.

The house is quiet, bathed in the soft glow of the living room lamp. It’s late — Bug should be in bed by now, but instead, she’s curled up against you on the couch, her tiny body tucked into yours, head nestled beneath your chin. She’s talking, voice soft and sleepy, her words tumbling together in that half-lucid way they do when she’s fighting sleep. Quinn doesn’t catch all of it, but he doesn’t have to. Because you do. You always do.

And God, he loves watching it. Loves watching you. Loves watching you as a mother. It comes so effortlessly to you, like instinct, like something woven into your bones. The way you smooth your palm over Bug’s back in long, steady strokes, the way you hum in just the right places, murmuring quiet encouragements, responding to things Quinn doesn’t always follow, like you and Bug are speaking in a language only the two of you understand.

Bug pauses, her little lips pursing, fingers absentmindedly tracing tiny shapes against your arm, a habit she’s had since she was a baby. You don’t rush her. You just wait, patient, steady, your fingertips brushing through her curls, giving her all the space she needs to find her words. After a beat, she exhales, relaxing against you as the words come together in her sleepy little head.

“— and then the bunny had to go home,” Bug murmurs, voice getting sleepier by the second, “but the bear didn’t want her to.”

You tilt your head, waiting, because she always has more to say.

“Mm,” you encourage with a small hum, shifting just enough to tuck a loose curl behind her ear. “That’s tough, huh? Bear and bunny are best friends.”

Bug nods against your chest, letting out a little sigh. “Yeah. But… but bunny said, ‘I have to go, bear. My mommy’s waiting for me.’”

You hum again, warm and soft. “Because her mommy misses her?”

Bug nods again, slow, eyes fluttering shut for a beat. Quinn thinks she’s finally given in, finally let sleep take her...

But then, in the tiniest voice, she murmurs, “You’d miss me too, right?”

Your arms tighten just slightly, your lips pressing to the crown of her head, fingers tracing slow, steady paths down her back. Quinn watches it happen — watches the way Bug knows the answer before you even say a word. She doesn’t need to ask again. She feels it in the way you hold her, in the warmth of your touch, in the way you keep her close like you never want to let go.

It’s something innate passing between the two of you, this quiet understanding that doesn’t need words.

Bug breathes out, a tiny, content hum slipping past her lips, her whole body going boneless against you. A smile, soft and sleepy, tugs at the corner of her mouth as she burrows impossibly closer, little fingers curling into the fabric of your shirt, clinging without urgency, without fear. Like she’s heard you loud and clear, even though you haven’t said a single word.

But you do, because you know she still wants to hear it.

“Oh, baby,” you murmur. “I always miss you when you’re not with me.”

And that’s all she needs. She sighs, long and slow, her body going completely slack against you, safe and sure in the way you love her.

Quinn watches, his heart caught somewhere between aching and overflowing, the kind of fullness that makes his chest feel too small to hold it all. Because this — this quiet, sleepy moment, the two of you curled up together, Bug safe and sound in your arms — it’s everything.

Quinn swallows, stepping further into the room, perching on the armrest of the couch.

“She out?” he murmurs, voice hushed.

You glance up at him, smiling softly, your fingers still stroking through Bug’s curls, lulling her further into sleep.

“Almost.”

Quinn reaches out, his knuckles grazing Bug’s cheek, and she makes a tiny sound — somewhere between a hum and a sigh — before burrowing deeper into your warmth, her little hand still gripping onto your shirt even in sleep, like she never wants to let go.

Quinn feels something tighten in his throat. Because he remembers when she was just a baby, small enough to fit in the crook of one arm, when her cries could only be soothed by your voice, your touch. And now, here she is, still finding her safety, her comfort, her home in you.

And God.

He thought he knew love before. Thought he had felt it in all the ways that mattered.

But this? Watching the way you hold her like you were made for this, made for her? Watching the way she leans into you like she doesn’t even need to think about it? This kind of love? It’s something else entirely. Something that makes him want to reach out, to touch, to hold.

So he does.

His hand drifts, skimming over your arm before curling around the back of your neck, his thumb tracing a slow, grateful line against your skin. He leans in, presses his lips to your temple, lingers there for a moment longer than necessary.

You tilt your head just slightly, leaning into him the way Bug leans into you, and that’s all it takes. That’s all he needs. His family, his girls wrapped up in the kind of love that’s steady and sure and so achingly pure that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve it.

You sigh softly, shifting just enough to look up at him, your features soft in the dim light.

“You okay?” you ask, like you can sense it — how full he feels, how something inside him is stretching, expanding, trying to make room for all the love pressing against his ribs.

Quinn just nods, thumb still brushing lazy circles against your skin.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, voice quieter than he intends. “I just… I love you.” His gaze flickers down, taking in the way Bug is tucked against your chest. “Both of you.”

Your smile is small, knowing, like you already understood before he even said it. Like the secret language you and Bug share, that unspoken understanding, somehow it extends to him too.

“We love you too,” you murmur back, your free hand reaching for his, fingers threading together, squeezing gently. “So much.”

Quinn leans in again, kissing you slow, deep, the kind of kiss that lingers, and Bug stirs between you, sighing softly. You both pull back, sharing a quiet chuckle, and Quinn shifts, slipping off the armrest to settle beside you properly, his arm curling around both of you.

The three of you sit like that for a while, wrapped up in warmth, in love, in the quiet certainty that there’s nowhere else in the world he’d rather be.

Because if there’s one thing Quinn Hughes knows for certain, it’s this:

Bug has the best mom in the world.

And him?

He’s the luckiest man alive.

[marauder-misprint]

if you’re up for more angst, what about remus seriously injuring the reader while in a werewolf form! (sorry but im a sucker for angst 😝 especially remus, since the tragedy of his character is often played off [esp. his ‘werewolfness’] and i love the way you write him, hard to find good potrayed moony fics 😭)

Angst! Angst! Angst! Thank you for the request and I hope you enjoy this Moony Angst

The attack

Remus Lupin x reader

4.3k words

cw: angst, werewolf attack, angst, no happy ending

If you weren’t so close with the Marauders, you probably would’ve never noticed. Those nights where the four of them stayed in the common room until late and they were the only ones still up, as even you had to go to bed. Or the nights where they all seemed to turn in extra early yet were exhausted in the morning. Those mornings when they looked far worse for wear and failed to give a reasonable explanation. 

You knew they went somewhere. You had an epiphany late one night on something for a prank and instead of just writing it down, you jumped out of bed and ran to the boys’ dormitory. It was at least 1 a.m. and all of their beds were empty. It didn’t look like they had been slept in. The room was just deserted. 

If you weren’t so close with the Marauders, you probably wouldn’t have cared. But you were so you did. You asked them about it. They avoided each question more carefully than the last. As determined as you were to get answers, they seemed more so to hide whatever they were doing. 

Eventually, you dropped the topic, but your curiosity never waned. You started to randomly check their dorm. Creepy and weird? Yes and you knew it. But they were hiding something and you would be damned if you didn’t figure it out. 

You didn’t have information yet to see if there was a pattern. You just got lucky one night. You were sitting in the common room alone, tucked into a corner with a book and a cozy blanket. You honestly had half a mind to just sleep where you sat. But then there was movement on the other side of the room. 

Remus was leaving the common room and it was well after curfew. It was also past report time for any prefect duties. Where was he going and why? You pondered it for a moment and then heard the shuffling of feet. There was no one there. You thought you were going crazy. The sound was definitely where.

“Shit,” a voice hissed and you saw a flash of shoes nearing the portrait hole. 

You’d recognize those combat boots anywhere: Sirius. You suddenly remember hearing James say offhandedly that he has a cloak of invisibility. You had thought he was joking but maybe not? With the opening and closing of the portrait, you sprang up, ditched your book and blanket and grabbed your cloak which was draped over a chair near you. You had to follow them… somehow. 

Outside of the common room, you stand silently, trying to hear footsteps over the Fat Lady’s chastising. The faintest of sounds came from a nearby staircase and you followed it. You trailed the sound while trying to stay far enough away to not be caught. It was a difficult task being that you couldn’t see exactly where they were. Then you heard voices around the corner. 

Remus and Madam Pomfrey. 

Hushed voices but still recognizable. Even better for you, they didn’t have a cloak so you could see where they were going. You watched them head for a door so you moved to look out the closest window. They approached the Whomping Willow and Pomfrey cast a freezing spell on it. Curious. You turned away from the window for a second to gather your thoughts. Why on earth would they be interacting with the Whomping Willow at night? When you looked back, Remus was gone and Pomfrey was heading back to the castle. You stayed hidden until she was back inside and passed you. 

You’ve mostly forgotten about the other boys and the fact that they might still be in the vicinity. There weren’t any footsteps to remind you of their presence. It took you a second to work up the courage to go outside. You froze the tree like Pomfrey had done. You took slow steps forward, not knowing what to expect. Then you spotted the hole in the ground at the base of the tree. Curious. You inspected it briefly before sliding down into it. 

Darkness surrounded you. You were tempted to cast Lumos so you could see where you landed, but then you remembered that you’re following Remus and you want to stay hidden. There were echoes of something down the passage, but you took it slowly. You felt the wall as you walked and tried not to make any noise yourself. When you reached the end of the passage, you found yourself in a broken, beaten house. Horrid noises came from the upper floor. And then you saw it. A large wolf. Even worse, it saw you. 

It didn’t waste any time jumping down on top of you. You screamed. It’s all you could do. First in fear, then in pain. Claws raked down your body. Sharp, white hot pain engulfed your entire being. 

The last things you saw before passing out were a large black dog and a stag bearing down on the wolf, forcing it to back away from you. 

---

You woke up in the infirmary. At least that’s what you figured based off of the smell and the brightness around you. You couldn’t move because your whole body felt numb. 

“Poppy! She’s awake!” Professor McGonagall called from the side of your bed. 

You heard footsteps rushing toward you.

“You are not to move, Miss. Frankly, I’m surprised you’re alive,” Madam Pomfrey’s stern voice said. “I’ve applied a numbing potion so you shouldn’t be able to feel most of your body for a while. Blink once if you understand.” You blinked. “Blink again if you’re in pain.” You didn’t blink. 

You had never felt more confused and scared in your life. Somehow, being there and unable to move was more frightening than the wolf attacking you. Merlin, why was there a bloodthirsty wolf so close to the grounds? What was it doing in a house with a dog and a deer? You had so many questions.

“Minerva,” Pomfrey said curtly before the sound of footsteps told you she left. 

Your firm teacher spoke with uncertainty, the first time you’ve ever heard her do so. “You were attacked… by a werewolf. I’m not going to ask why you were out of bed and where you were. I’m not going to take away points or assign detention, although, believe me, I’d be well within my right to do so. The… the damage from the attack is quite extensive. Like Poppy said, it’s a miracle you survived. And that you weren’t bitten.” She took a shaky breath. “Werewolf scratches scar deeply. And it is a lot.”

You had one thing going on in your mind now: What the fuck?

---

The next few days passed by in a blur. You were in and out of consciousness with varying ability to talk, see and move. Madam Pomfrey was reapplying numbing potions and giving you potions to lessen the pain. You cried when you were finally able to see the damage. You had deep scarring on your left arm, across your face and chest and down both your legs; there was minor scarring on your right arm. Your back seemed to be the only part of you untouched by the werewolf you encountered. 

Pomfrey told you that you had people asking to visit you, but you weren’t ready to face anyone yet. You weren’t ready for anyone to see you like this. 

“She’s not taking visitors. If she changes her mind, I’ll send someone to get you,” you could hear her tell someone at the doors to the infirmary. 

There were overlapping voices that protested. You couldn’t place the voices, nor could you see who it was due to the curtains that you kept drawn around your bed. 

“Go to class, the four of you. I promise, when she’s ready, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

The door closed with slam and Pomfrey muttered to herself as she returned to her office. The only people you had seen were her, McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore asked you what you remembered of the attack. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t want to admit that you followed Remus from the castle and into the tunnel. You didn’t want to tell him about the stag and dog who saved you. So you told him nothing. As far as anyone was concerned, you remembered nothing of your attack or how you ended up outside the castle. 

A few days later, you told Madam Pomfrey that you would take visitors if they came. Then you asked how long you’d have to stay in the infirmary and she told you until the next full moon, just to guarantee that you were safe. You sighed and nodded. All you could think about was the assignments you were falling behind on. 

As soon as lessons were over, James, Peter and Sirius were pounding on the infirmary door. Pomfrey let them in but stopped them right away.

“I assume you boys heard what happened?” she asked in a hushed voice, but you heard her anyway.

You didn’t hear an answer from the boys.

“Then, well, you know what to expect,” she continued.

It felt like a punch to the gut. She was telling them to brace themselves for what you looked like now. It also meant that they knew you were attacked by a werewolf and it likely wasn’t a secret throughout the castle. You tried to stop the tears that pricked at your eyes. 

It certainly didn’t help that they gasped when they pulled back the curtains. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at your friends. You were hugging your knees to your chest. You know you told Pomfrey you were ready to see people, but having your closest friends see you like this? Nothing could prepare you for it. They stepped into the curtained area, standing at your bedside.

“How are you feeling?” James asked, his voice soft. 

“Like I’m falling behind in my assignments,” you replied snarkily. 

Sirius laughed and clapped you on the shoulder. “So delusional as always!”

He’s the first one you were able to look at. You needed him to see you roll your eyes at how ridiculous he was. But, really, you’re grateful for his comment and his laughter. It’s the first time you’ve been treated as normal in a week. 

“So when are you allowed to leave?” James asked. This time he sounded less like he was talking to a sick child. 

“Two weeks. Assuming the full moon goes well.”

The three boys exchanged concerned looks. The air was suddenly tense between you. Peter closed the curtain.

Then he asked, “What do you remember from the last one?”

They weren’t Dumbledore or McGonagall. These were your best friends. You could tell them the truth. 

“More than I told Dumbledore…” you muttered, looking away from them. You took a breath before quietly recounting the night. “It started with thinking I was following you three. I had already seen Remus leave the common room and I figured you three were under James’ cloak.”

“Oh, you know about that…” James said.

“You mentioned it once years ago. I thought you were kidding, but ah, clearly not. Anyways, I saw Pomfrey and Remus go outside and right up to the Whomping Willow. I investigated, found a passage and next thing I know, I’m being attacked by a werewolf.”

“And that’s it?” Peter asked cautiously. 

You sighed. “It’s going to sound so silly, but I swear I saw a dog and a deer protect me before I passed out. That was probably the pain…” 

You looked from boy to boy. Their visible concern was almost too much for you.

“Where is Remus?”

“He, uh, couldn’t come by right away. I’m sure he’ll come when he has time,” Sirius said. 

You frowned but nodded. Then you had an idea.

“Would you get my assignments from the professors and help me catch up? I really don’t want to be a month behind when I get out of here.”

“Yeah. Of course. Anything for you, love,” James said as he ran a hand through his hair. 

Then Pomfrey yanked the curtains open and chastised the boys for closing them in the first place. She made them leave and you were alone again. You hated being alone.

Over the next two weeks, you had more visitors. Mostly Gryffindors and the random other students who heard there had been a werewolf attack and wanted to see the result. James, Sirius and Peter took turns bringing you your assignments and helping you catch up. Each of their visits was prefaced with ‘The professors don’t want you to push yourself and said they will give you as much time as you need to catch up’ and you would always tell them that you were bored out of your mind waiting to be released. 

Being bored, however, wasn’t the worst of your issues. Neither was trying to stop flinching every time you saw your reflection. No, it was the fact that Remus had yet to visit you. You asked about him every time the rest of the Marauders stopped by; they always had an excuse ready and claimed he’d be by soon. But he never came. It broke your heart. 

You didn’t think it was any secret that you had a favorite out of the four of them. You adored Remus. He was an underestimated presence, commanding power and attention when he needed to. You could almost call him a shadow god: overlooked yet able wreck havoc. And beyond all of that was his love for books and knowledge. His love for his friends. His loyalty. His devotion to his passions. 

Your favorite person hadn’t been to see you in the four weeks you were in the infirmary. You were furious. You were devastated. You were done. 

The morning after the full moon, when you woke up, you heard him talking with Madam Pomfrey. You didn’t want to talk to him anymore. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted him to visit during the past two weeks and he doesn’t show up until you’re to be released? Pissed off didn’t begin to cover how you felt. 

You opened your curtains and asked firmly, “Madam Pomfrey, I’m feeling quite myself. Can I be discharged?” 

Then you saw him. Shirtless on a bed a few over from yours as Pomfrey applied long bandages to his chest and shoulder. The two of you locked eyes. Your eyes burned with fury while his welled with concern and guilt. You wanted to snap at him but clenched your jaw instead. 

“Oh, yes, dear. I was just waiting for you to wake up,” Pomfrey said. “If you’d like to wait a moment, I’m just finishing up with Mr. Lupin.”

“No, thank you, ma’am,” you said shortly before leaving both of them baffled at your refusal to wait. 

You had no desire to be in the vicinity of ‘Mr. Lupin’ at the moment. He wasn’t even there to visit you. He was there for himself. He had gone and gotten himself banged up on his own. 

---

You avoided Remus. You put as much distance between you and him as you can. If he was around and you couldn't get away, you gave him a cold shoulder. You remained on good terms with Peter, James and Sirius, but it was difficult to spend time with them without Remus also around. 

So you found solace in your female friends. You knew they were concerned about the space you were putting between yourself and the Marauders; it was just so out of character for you. They wondered if it was a result of your attack, if the boys had somehow been involved in it, although they never raised these concerns when you were around. They just made sure that you were never alone unless you asked to be. 

“What happened between you and the Marauders?” Dorcas asked during study hall some time after your attack. 

The Gryffindor girls gave her a wide-eyed stare before turning to look at you semi-nervously. Apparently, they had forgotten to fill in Marlene’s girlfriend on the taboo question. 

“Nothing,” you said nonchalantly, not even bothering to look up from your work.

“Bullshit. You haven’t talked to them in over a week and even I’ve noticed,” she said pointedly. 

“I’ll talk to Sirius, James, Peter. Not my fault they don’t separate from the damn traitor.” 

Lily snorted, in laughter or suprise, she wasn’t sure. “The traitor? Do you mean Remus?”

You glared at her. “Yes.”

“The one who’s been staring at you in practically every class since you were released?”

“He’s probably just surprised at how I look now. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s different,” you said coldly. 

“Maybe. Or he wants to talk to you,” Mary suggested. 

Now it was your turn to snort in disbelief with a shake of your head. 

“He does,” Lily confirmed. “He’s, you know, scared you won’t listen to him. Which I think is a valid conclusion being that you-”

“He better be scared,” you cut her off. “If he tries to speak to me, I’m hexing the bastard into next year. Pass that on, will you?”

At that, the girls dropped the topic. Dorcas got the message that you weren't to be asked about the Marauders any more. Lily passed on your message to an upset Remus during prefect duties. How was he supposed to fix things with you if you wouldn’t give him a moment of your time? 

“There’s no way she doesn’t know that I’m the one who did that to her. She told Lily that she’d hex me into next year if I try to talk to her. I’m fucked. I’m so utterly fucked… I’ve lost her,” Remus moaned one evening in the boys’ dorm. 

Remus hated how you wouldn’t look at him. He hated how you avoided him with so much determination that you barely had a friendship with the rest of the Marauders anymore. He knew he couldn’t blame you for avoiding him; he was a monster and had attacked you. He still wanted to apologize to you, to explain that he has no control over what he does when he’s in wolf form. It was the least he could do, but you wouldn’t let him. 

A small part of him wanted to blame you for being in the Shrieking Shack. That maybe he would place some of the blame on you. But he didn’t know what you were doing there. Maybe you had a perfectly valid reason for being there that he didn’t know about. Maybe there was more to the story, the one-sided story that he couldn’t get the other side to because you wouldn’t even look at him.

“Moony, mate, I don’t think she knows you’re the werewolf. She know we were out of the tower too,” Sirius said.

“Out of us, who looks the most like a possible werewolf?” Remus snapped. He knew he was right on that point. He was covered in scars and often sickly. 

“Okay, but she was asking for you every time we delivered homework. Why would she be asking for you if she didn’t want to talk to you?” James added. 

“Then what happened? Why is she avoiding me?”

“Because you didn’t visit her in the infirmary?” Peter offered lazily.

“I was there when she was discharged!” 

“Hmm, not the same. Wasn’t a visit and you know it,” Peter concluded.

“I’m fucked,” Remus repeated. 

Remus was growing desperate. He missed you. He missed having you around, your comments and warm presence. Even if you couldn’t stand him anymore, if you feared him, he didn’t want to be the reason you stopped being friends with James, Sirius and Peter. He needed to talk to you so he could apologize and tell you that if you wanted him to, he would distance himself from the boys so you could have your friends back. 

So he turned to the only person he thought could actually help him right now: Lily. He begged her to help him. He knew he looked and sounded pathetic, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He just needed a moment of your talk so you could talk. Or at least listen with sending him into the infirmary for a year, like you had threatened. She agreed to help, although she advised him to be cautious. 

Lily’s part was simple enough. She had to get you alone at a back table in the library, and then when Remus approached the table, she would tell you to just listen to him, hear him out, and then you would never have to speak to him again if you didn’t want to. 

When this transpired, you glared at the two of them. You were slightly upset with Lily’s backing of Remus. You knew that she had no reason to be upset with Remus and you never voiced why you were upset. But still, she knew you didn’t want to talk to him. 

“Please,” Remus said, voice pleading. “I just need a few minutes of your time. I’ll leave you alone forever after. Please.” 

“Fine,” you groaned.

Lily gave you a smile and hug before leaving to give you privacy. Remus took a seat across the table from you. You didn’t say anything more. You waited for him to say something. 

“I understand if you're scared of me. If you don’t want to be friends anymore. If you’re furious at me. I’m sorry,” he started to say. “But don’t take it out on Peter, James and Sirius. Stay friends with them. I’ll distance myself from them so you still have your friends. Please, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Why would I be scared of you?” you snapped. 

“Because… because you know my secret?” Was there a chance that Sirius was right?

You bunched your eyebrows together. “Your secret? That you leave the castle at night?”

“Oh. Um. Well, shit…” he muttered, looking down at his lap. Sirius was right. You didn’t know. He took a deep breath. “Then I have something to tell you.”

He waited for you to say something, but you held your tongue. All you could do was stare at him. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than usual. So, he hadn’t been sleeping well. 

“I’m… I’m a werewolf,” he said quietly, completely unable to look at you. “The werewolf.” 

You took a sharp breath. That… that explained a lot.

“That’s… that’s… That’s why you didn’t visit me?” you said after a few minutes of intense silence. 

Remus nodded. He finally raised his gaze to meet yours. He was shocked to see your expression as something soft, rather than something of anger or fear as he had expected. 

You remembered all of the lessons you had on werewolves in the past. How they had no control over what they did in wolf form. How excruciatingly painful the transformations were. The wolf was blood thirsty and brutal. Remus, however, wasn’t brutal. He wasn’t a beast. He was… your friend. 

“Fuck,” you breathed, squeezing your eyes shut. Then, with your voice barely audible, “I thought you didn’t like me anymore… I just wanted you to visit me…”

“I thought you knew. I thought you hated me, wouldn’t want to see me.”

“I was asking for you!” you exclaimed, your voice louder and more firm. “I wanted to see my best friend!”

“But I’m a monster. I… I ruined you…”

You crossed your arms over your chest in sudden anger. “I am not ruined, Lupin. Scarred, yes. But not ruined.” 

Remus’ hands were shaking uncontrollably in his lap. His heart was pounding. 

“That’s not what I meant!” he said quickly.

“It’s what you said.”

“Please, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I miss you so much. I didn’t intend to hurt you. You know I would never hurt you if I was in control.”

“Were you in control when you didn’t visit me in the infirmary?” 

He swallowed thickly. “I was.”

“And that hurt me, Lupin.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. If I could go back and change it, I would.” 

You clenched your jaw. You knew it was killing him. It was evident in his voice, in his face, in his posture. You made it blatantly clear that you didn’t blame him for the attack, for the permanent damage to how you looked. You did, however, blame him for not visiting you when you needed him. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I forgive you for being an ass? No. I can’t. Because I don’t forgive you.” 

“Can you give me a second chance? I’ll do anything. Anything. Anything to make it up to you.” He was begging at this point. 

“No. Not now. We aren’t friends, Lupin. Not because,” you let your voice drop to whisper, “you attacked me. I know that wasn’t you, per se.” Your voice returned to its previous volume as it dripped with hurt. “We aren’t friends because all of my friends visited me in the infirmary.”

“Please,” Remus said, his voice quiet with desperation. 

“No. I can’t forgive you. I can’t give you a second chance right off the bat. I have no reason to. Just… Just leave me alone.”

Remus nodded and stood up. He waited for a moment to see if you had anything more to say. When you didn’t say anything, he left. By the time he passed where Lily had moved to, tears were streaming down his face. You weren’t crying, but you did feel empty. Officially ending your friendship with Remus had taken more out of you than you expected.

[deesseshesca]

PAC: What vibes does your future relationship give off ? (18+)

Yankee Doddle went to town riding on pony.

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PILE 1

SONG : TAKE YOU DOWN - SZA

SORRY BABE BUT YOUR READING IS LONGER 😭

PILE 2 

SONG : BABY - REMA

6 swords (reverse), judgement (reverse) 8 wands, King pentacles (reverse) 

This is the friend of your older brother. He’s writing a paragraph as a text while he's drunk… which he will never send. He may engage in dangerous behavior because he's behind the wheel texting it but he's not driving … just sitting there. Like he took a moment away from the party to catch some fresh air.  

There's so much sexual frustration and tension in his body is incredible. 

There's a clicking of keys… which is important. Is like his pondering if he should leave or spend the night over like it was planned. I don't think he will actually drive … should he leave, he would tag along with other boys to an actual party. Is like your brother has a lot on his mind regarding another girl from uni … you will not know. You will just be shocked he came back from campus earlier. Even your mom, like her heart might stop. Lol she is so sure for a moment that your brother got kicked out, your brother may have problems accepting answering to more important people ever since he’s a child. Like he’s not annoying or rude, he may come like that but he actually has good reasons to act up. He may be a crash out, but it's always been justified. Lol the bffs are going through it with women … they both seem to deal with it the same way … running away. They may actually act like fucking twin brothers at times. 

What the actually fuck ? I though I actually dealt with my fucking heart. I aint even lie, this past years I try to take my fucking distance with you. I mean I am trying to stay alive and keep my balls. Do you know what would happen to me if your brother could read my brain ? Especially with the past I have, fuck what past … I am too emotionally available with females … he’s not wrong keeping me away from you . I mean … I may not be worth you but can your homeboy dream ? I did not know you have to ask permission to think ? Why do I have to ask permission to use my own brain while you take possession of my thoughts 24/7 like you are paying the bills in this bitch. Your brother told me, we were going to surprise you today. I know he’s was running away, I am always going to have bro back but fuck why do I have to get fucked in the process ? You were in your bed, your long hair braided, legs hanging, wearing your short booty shorts, white tee dancing to some pop girl music (his snorting). Dancing like a maniac (explosion of laughter). The scream that came out of you is deserving of an Oscar but the way I had to keep my composure  when you jumped in my arms after hugging your bro was something. Fuck I miss having my hands around you, I miss caring for you, I miss your face, your scent and even your weird habits. Than you came downstair cooking something for me and the bros because your mom was caught up in a meeting and we can’t fucking cook to safe ourselves. Again I had to keep my composure, while your body was moving lazily to the music in your headphones. Keep my eyes on the game, keep my focus on the conversation, keep my attention on the character on the screen. When all I wanted to do was peeking at you. Than like you wanted to torture me … you put the plates a front of us with smile before running back upstairs to your bedroom. All I could think about for the rest of the evening, while drinking was do I claim a need to the bathroom so I can stare at you through the door … FUCK when did I become a such creep ? 

That man grew up in a house where spanking, physical abuse was the way to discipline. 

You often grow up, watching him with purple eyes, you thought maybe he had a temper he was hiding you because he's always calm whenever he deals with you, your family, fuck almost everybody, yet…

For some y’all actually know him since childhood and he always had bruises on him, so you never question it. When  you were younger you even though he had a purple birth scar. This shows the frequency and the normality of the assault he endured for your kid brain to normalize it. 

For some of you, that are fucking shock about that text … to confirm is him … go ask him about his family, childhood or parents, that will be your confirmation that's the pile for you. 

For the one too shocked to believe it, remember that energy is ever changing but if you keep up living the way you do, you will in fact finish your life with  the bff of your older brother. To unclaimed, change something … To claim … no need is already yours (I just saw someone giggling … LOL) 

This collective y’all are really shocked he will actually be interested in you because he treats you like a little sis… from my humble tarot reader opinion … he is too protective and soft for it not to be romance. The intensity in which he holds your gaze is too much to just be platonic 

I just heard : ‘’But nah girl…’’. BABE IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, CHOOSE SOMETHING ELSE. 

The card also shows that he is terrified to show care, empathy and love. You guys have no idea how stoic he is whenever he is interacting with his environment. The fact that he he check on you, the fact that you can call him when you need help (availability), the fact that he reply quickly (you don't how many people he leaves on deliver … ), the fact that he goes out of his way to always bring your fav snack, the fact that he always make sure nobody is annoying you at work, school or even calm your brother down when his become too smart with you . Or the FUCKING fact that he actually smile at (even though is fucking small), the fact that he don't mind hugging you. He's only that soft for you, there's not a single girl he fuck, been a relationship with or even flirt with in which he was this attentive and kind. 

He’s a lightweight when it comes to alcohol. 

VIBES: Crush, brother bff, secrecy, secret admire and one sided romance 

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PAC AUDIO : WHAT KIND OF LOVER ARE U BECOMING ?

PILE 3

SONG: JONI - SZA FT Don Toliver

POV is your past self and future self. Is like a small note. Maybe you guys use the note in your phone like a diary. 

The Chérie D’Amour coming from PILE 2, this is your POV from the situation in PILE 2. Also your brother doesn't know you are out there living an all year hot girl summer and have a whole roster. They only see you as your innocent self. Funny enough (my own  observation), now I understand how hard it is for you to believe what I wrote because you are the same. The dude plays mister nonchalant, while you play Miss Innocent. Both of you have a facade that does not exist with each other. Like you guys actually have an intimate bond with each other. You allow yourself to be soft with him and he allows himself to accept it.

PAST: 9swords, 9 wands (reverse) 

 You are on the bus. A week after a crazy night where u spend the night at your one night or maybe sneaky link. You just have an epiphany 

Honestly … I want more. Is it crazy to say. I want someone to hold me close while playing in my hair. I want someone to look at me like I am the star of their life, like maybe if they look away I may vanish. I want to be the banter of their existence. I want to be the reason for their every breath. I want to go on vacation with the one that loves me. The one that will spend hours, hours and his money just to see a smile on my face. Someone ready to die to hear me laugh. Someone who is just like Jack, will let me, Rose stay on the door  because he prefers a cold death than letting me feel the pain of Atlantic water. Someone will pick me up bridal style after I call him because I am too drunk with my homegirl and can't make my way home. I want someone to comfort me when the tears are rolling down  my cheeks, I want someone to drop anything when my voice has a subtle shake and I want someone to be my safe haven. I want someone who will enjoy spending time with me even when all we do is sit in silence in a quiet room. I want to slow dance in the living room while the dinner is cooking. (Bitter laugh) What the fuck for ? Even if the one came I will destroy it the same way I destroy the marriage of my parents. Maybe all I actually need is a break from having sex. I am tired of getting disappointed , I am tired of sexting, I am tired of the 2 am booty call, I am tired of being easy, I am tired of hair pulling, the spitting, the fucking, the aftercare, the uber, the walk of shame and the fucking hole that's keep growing deeper every time I come home to an empty house after giving my all to another looser because I can’t seem to attract he right one and I am too lonely to refuse anyone.

I am tired of feeling lonely . 

Future : Knight swords, Hermit 

I am hearing : ‘’ Omg he hears me ! Omg he knows my name’’ 

This one is a note but the intention behind it is almost like a prayer.

Please don't take him. Let him love me. Let him stay in my life. (Your eyes are burning with tears, none fell, you are holding on for dear life. You are sitting in your bedroom). I will do anything you ask. Don't let him resent. Let him love me forever. Don't let life take his warmth away from  me. I love every part of him, I love his tattoo, I love his grumpy attitude, I love the way he holds on to my hand. The way he always longs for some physical contact with me otherwise he loses his mind (bitter laugh, oh no… babe you broke … the tears are flowing slowly). I love the way he trust me with his Lego collection, with his car tools and on his bike. I love the way he let me in, my pretty boy, my very pretty boy, he don't deserve all that (Fuck … I finally got the vibe … he may have been in altercation or just an argument with his family which trigger him extremely which made him take its distance. Like you know he's in a dark place but he refuses to let you see him like that (aww now my heart is breaking … y’all going to make a cold ass bitch emotional, now he’s asking me if you are crying. He hates when you cry and it would put him in so much pain to know he is the reason for it). Usually he is transparent and you have amazing communication. That why you are ugly sobbing because it must be very bad, if he is taking his distance). He always comfort me when my periods hurt, when my mom say mean things to me, when school is too hard or life become to overwhelming. Even when I am trying to ignore him, he drop everything for me. I don't know what else to say … you must let him love me. Who else is going to look at me with so much love, caress me with so much passion, make love to me, worship my body with kisses, tell me how much he loves me and how hard is going to work so I never regret choosing him. 

Technically it's stop here …because you are sending him a voice note but since I love y’all let me add it here. I apologize because it might be too messy to read. 

Hiccup, hiccup, (his name), breathing trying to keep it in, breaking down in  tears, talking while having hiccups :  just so you know I love you. Please don't leave me behind, pretty boy. You remember what I told you … you ain't have to feel ashamed for what you did. Baby please come to me, we can work it all. Let me comfort you. 

Breakdown again:  Fuck I am stress. You better comeback (weak attempt to a bossy tone). Please (pleading tone). 

Before you came in the picture, your family enjoy reminding you how perfect it was. Than u came ... so maybe when your mom got pregnant their mirage could not handle it. Or you are a product of infidelity. Since you believe so heartily that you are the problem.

VIBES : Forbidden romance, one bed proximity, touch her and I will kill you, I want and see only her, I don't deserve her, she's too good for me, he's the only one that truly loves me and know me, we should not be doing this but can't seem to stay away from each other.

PREVIOUS READING

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PAC AUDIO : WHAT KIND OF LOVER ARE U BECOMING ?

PILE 4 

SONG : STAY - Adanna Duru FT Leven Kali

POV YOUR FS. 

I actually shuffled some cards but y’all nasty step dad came through. He's a fucking pervert Chérie d’Amour and I am so sorry you had to deal with this looser in your childhood. I am fucking sorry your mama did not protect you more. 

Your husband DONT PLAY WHEN  IT COMES TO YOU. 

Is a text after the first night spent together. 

Hey beautiful,

I know we just hang up and you probably sleeping rn. Fuck sure is 3 am in the morning but I cant get enough of you. I hate the fact that I can't dream because sleep is keeping me away from you. I want to spend every one of my seconds on earth dedicated to you. Texting you, calling you and hearing you. I am so obsessed with you girl … so you know we are lock in, lock in. There's nobody but us. I don't care if you're mad or tired of me, we are going to work this out. I see the bigger picture with you baby. That not the only picture I have of you… I love kissing you. When your lips lay on top of  mine, my eyes I can't help but close, pushing into a transit state of pure bliss. I love having sex with you, your moans are like  music to me. You have such a beautiful voice, I know I always compliment you about it. I guess you awakened a new kink in me babygirl.I  can recognize your voice, touch and scent in a room full of strangers because my soul knows you. My fav habits of yours when it comes to loving me … is the way you kiss my forehead, my eyes, my cheek and my lips in one setting just to make me smile. I love staring into your pretty face. That’s probably why I stare that much at my phone when u aint around. And she gets even prettier when I am thrusting in and out of your tight pussy. I love when you baby me, even though I am 6’4 (maybe taller) and 3x your weight. I love being the small spoon. I love being your good boy. I love finding safety in your arms. I aint joking girl … I am going nowhere. I LOVE IT HERE. 

VIBES: Commitment, marriage, long lasting romance, wedding day, husband and wife and growing old together 

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[tonysbed]

Secrets I keep | Part 14

Lando Norris x sister!reader

Max Fewtrell x norris!reader

Daniel Ricardo x Norris!reader

summary: You and Max have been dancing around your feelings for years but jealousy gets the best of us all..

not proofread

series masterlist | previous | next

-

yn

liked by carlossainz, landonorris, danielriccardo and 839.547 others

yn an idiot, fav people, and visiting my private chef 🦋

*tagged maxfewtrell, landonorris, carlossainz*

maxfewtrell Can you stop posting these horrible pictures of me?😭

yn why would I do that?

maxfewtrell cause you like me?

yn HAHAHAHA

maxfewtrell 😐

carlossainz private chef, sure hermosa.

yn you love me

carlossainz sure, whatever you say

yn ☹️☹️

lando carlos.

carlossainz yes, yes I love you.

yn 😊😊

user isn’t yn’s boyfriend a bit weirded out that she’s always hanging around Fewtrell?

user why would he? He’s lando’s best friend and has his own gf

user do you know their lore? Everyone thought they were dating when they were younger. HE LITERALLY KISSED HER HEAD ALL THE TIME

user oh. yeah but still, maybe they see each other as siblings. Lando also does that w her

user hm..

alexandrasaintmleux 🤍

user I love the norris duo + carlos dynamic

-

“You wanna tell us what happened now, or are we gonna sit in silence?” Kelly said, raising an eyebrow. Alexandra nods “Yeah? Did he say anything? Do we have to ask one of the boys to run him over?” You laugh “No Alex, please don’t run him over”

“Alright, then spill” She claps in her hands. You just blush and look down “Oh my god, you did it” “She did what?” Kelly asked confused “It” Alex says, making a ‘catch up’ face.

“Oh, Oh!” Kelly’s eyes widened “That’s good, right?” You hide your face in your hands “How was it?” Alex teased “Alexxxx” You whine “Just a yes or no, then I’ll leave you alone” She chuckled “Yeah” You say quietly, still hiding your face “Then that’s great”

“Yes, I agree. As long as you’re happy, this is amazing” Kelly smiles and so does Alex. Alex looks behind you and her smile falls “Why is he here again?” You turn around and see Daniel, Lando and Max walking towards you. Max looks like he’d be happier if he was in a pool full of piranhas while Lando talks enthusiastically with Daniel.

Before Max can sit next to you, Daniel pulls out the chair and sits down. You try to scoot away unnoticeable. Lando sits next to Daniel, making Max sit away the farthest from you.

Alex and Kelly give you a look, which you return. Daniel finally turns to the three of you “Hello lady’s” “Daniel” Kelly is the only one who acknowledged him, while you and alex set up fake smiles.

You feel max’s eyes on you and you look at him, feeling yourself relax just a tiny bit. You give him a little smile that he returns.

“So? How’s it going?” Daniel asks in the round “Good.” Alexandra answers with a sharpness that he didn’t miss. Kelly nods along and Daniel’s eyes land on you “Great. Me and my boyfriend have been spending quite some time together, actually” You smile.

Lando shoots you a look that you ignore “How about you Daniel? Anything interesting happened since you’re unemployed?” The sharpness in your voice was obvious too.

“Yn.” Lando hisses “What? It’s just a question?” You shrug “He asked, I answered and asked the same question. It’s fine.” Before you could respond, two shadows appeared next to you “Hey guys.”

Oscar says, lily waving into the round “Could I steal the girls?” Lily asked, making the three of you get up. You wave to Lando and wink at Max, who’s cheeks turn light pink.

After the four of you left, Oscar looks at max “Could I borrow max? I wanted to talk to him about something and Mom wanted to see him” Lando nods unsure. Max gets up and walks away with oscar.

When they’re out of ear reach for Lando and Daniel, Oscar sighs “You okay?” Max nods “Yeah, why?” “Daniel is being a dick and sits next to your girlfriend.” Max head snaps to Oscar “What?”

“I’m not stupid, and neither is lily. We probably figured it out before you two did. Which wasn’t that hard tho.” Oscar shrugs “Come on. Let’s meet the others.”

-

As Oscar and Max round the corner to the Ferrari hospitality, Kelly, Alexandra and charles, lily and nicole, max and kelly and you sit there. You sit up once you see Max, but keep it down. Lily had obviously told you three the same thing.

Max sat down next to you “Rescue mission accomplished” Lily laughed and high fives oscar.

“Rescue mission? You two are crazy” You chuckle “You looked absolutely miserable over there, what else were we supposed to do?” Lily shrugged.

“I have no idea, Thank you tho” You smile at her, which she returns. You see max fidget with his fingers. You lean a bit closer, lowering your voice only for him to hear “Everything okay?” He smiles at you “I’m okay.”

You raise an eyebrow, not believing a word he’s saying. But before you can interrogate him any further, someone is calling your name. It’s Lando.

He’s coming towards you and the group, without Daniel. He stops and waves into the group “I need my sister for a moment” “Can’t that wait?” “No” “I’ll tell them either way afterwards, so spill.” “You don’t want me to do that.”

“Lando.” “No, really.” He gives you a look. You sigh and get up “I’ll be right back”

-

“So what is it?” You ask him once he pulled you into a quiet corner “What was that earlier? Did you ask them to get you two away?” “No. We talked and then sat down with oscar’s mom and with Max. It had nothing to do with you.” “I’m not talking about me”

“Neither Daniel.” “I don’t believe you. I mean, I talked to him. I don’t think he means any harm anymore” You raise your eyebrows “Lando, he hates max and doesn’t want us together. That was his goal all along.”

“No he didn’t mean it” “Lando, he’s in love with me.” “Yeah but he isn’t gonna harm your and max’s relationship” “You’re so gullible, Lando.” You clench your jaw and walk away from him, tears welling up in your eyes.

You walk with quick steps back to the group. Alex sits up as soon as she sees you “Hey? What’s wrong?” Her face scrunched into concern. Max’s head snaps to you and he also sits up.

You don’t say anything and grab your purse and jacket. Before you can stop it, one tear rolls down your cheek and Max is up in an instant “Hey, hey what’s wrong” One hand comes to rest on your back.

A sob escaped you and Max immediately wraps you into his embrace. His hand cradles your head. Max gets up “Let’s go into my drivers room, nobody needs to meddle” Max walks with you in his arms after max.

He opened the door to his drivers room but steps aside to let you two in. Max nods thankful and max closed the door after you two and leaves back to the group.

-

Once you calmed down, Max held you hands in his hands “What happened?” “He’s believing Daniel” You sniff “Oh baby” His thumb gently caressed your cheek “What did Daniel say?” “I’m not sure. But he believes that Daniel means no harm”

Max laughs “Sure, and i’m driving for redbull” He scoffs but his gaze softens once it lands back on you. “If there is one thing I learned in the last few weeks, then that we can’t care what others think. Look what it almost cost us. It’s just us against them.” He says with a warm smile.

You nod “His support is great, but we don’t need his approval or anything else to work. Okay?” “Okay” He wipes away the remaining dampness on your cheeks and presses a kiss to your temple, his arms once again pulling you into his chest.

-

yn added to their story

[cap1: 10/10 sleep quality,would recommend arm pillow | cap2: 💐❤️]

alexandrasaintmleux: Did you fall asleep during the race?😂

yn after that cry session, yes 😂

alexandrasaintmleux on a serious note, don’t let it get to you. It’s not worth stressing over 🤍

yn I know, we talked about it 🤍🤍

franciscagomez cutie 😂❤️

yn 😘❤️

user still soft launch 🫠

-

f1gossip

f1gossip Yn norris has been spotted around the redbull hospitality yesterday. Fans have spotted her watching the race from there with Max Verstappen’s Girlfriend, Kelly Piquet and Max Fewtrell, who is her brothers best friend. Is once again trouble between the norris duo?

user with Max? First they rip each other’s heads off and now they’re going against Lando? Sounds fake to me.

user she got nothing better to do than break up friendships of her brother??

user maybe she just watched with Kelly and max didn’t wanna be alone?

user oh please, he stayed alone in LN’s garage countless of times

user hear me out, what if they’re actually soft launching each other?

user let’s get you back to bed grandma

-

-

“Be honest, am I being dramatic?” You look at Kelly, who shakes her head “Why would you be dramatic for expressing how you feel. Not to mention that Daniel does not like Max. He stated that multiple times. And you’re brother is someone who easily switches sides.” She sighs.

“Just focus on you and Max, then no one can destroy what you have. Be there for each other. Trust me, once the internet gets wind of this? You’re gonna need each other” Sophie, Max’s mother chimed in as she held her grandchild.

P was laying asleep, sprawled out on your lap. You sigh “I know. It’s probably the most scary thing. But if we don’t tell soon, what If daniel does it ? What if he convinces Lando to do it? At this point, I wouldn’t put anything like that past him”

“If you two are sure about each other, no one else matters” Sophie says softly, giving you a warm smile. You nod “Have you called your mom about this? Or your dad?” Kelly asked “No, why would I?”

“So they’ll talk to him. It’s getting ridiculous” Another voice chimed into the conversation. You all turn your head to look at Max, who just entered the room.

He quickly kissed Kelly, smiled at P’s sleeping form and goes to hug his mom, gently placing a kiss on the small child’s head in her arms.

“I know. But they don’t have to be involved in our drama” “They’ll get wind of it either way. The media is fast.” Kelly shrugs “I know, I know” You sigh. They were right. Daniel was gonna try to ruin everything. He had taken the person who was against him, on his side. That was a disadvantage and a heartbreak.

It was time to really talk things through with Max..

-

You open the door to your apartment, hearing max move around in the kitchen.

“Max? I’m home!” You yell as you take off your shoes. Footsteps make your way to you and Max smiles “Hey you, how was it at Kelly’s?” “Eye opening” You sigh and sling your arms around his neck.

“Really? How?” He hums and pecks your lips “I think we should talk” “Sounds serious” “I think it is” He nods in understanding and leads you to the living room.

You both sit down on the couch, his hand resting behind you on the couch.

“What do you want to talk about?” “Us” You say fidgeting. What you didn’t know is, that Daniel may or may not have set a little lie into Max’s head, then even he wasn’t free of insecurities.

His insecurity? Franco colapinto. Something Lando had overshared once when he was drunk to Daniel. Something the Aussie had recently used, making a pit form in Max’s stomach now…

-

Like I said, we’re only getting started people.. 👀 I specifically left out some of the scenes you’ll be getting soon, that will paint the whole picture 🤭

The whole franco thing might not make sense now, but trust me its there (I haven’t mentioned it beforehand tho🤭)

[burytheruby]

HIII CAN WE PLS HAVE P2 OF THE PRICE DAUGHTER AND SIMON STORY??? PLS 😣 THE WRITING IS GOOD AND THE STORY IS JUST *chefs kiss* 💋💋💋 I WANNA SEE THEM LATER ON IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😞😣🩷🩷💕

I N A P P R O P I A T E I I

the answer is YES I CAN 🙈 thank you everyone for the support! I unfortunately have been crazy busy with the holidays, then my birthday (yay 20!), then back to uni 😭 but I did promise I would come back, and so there will be a tag list for whoever wants to be updated!

𐬺𐬽𐬾❤︎︎𐬾𐬽𐬺

IN which Captain Price is your father, and he has accepted your feelings for his lieutenant.

OR: late night talks and confessions, your father would do anything to make you happy.

Part 1; you're in Part 2

MINORS Do NOT Interact.

Warnings: age gap, fem! reader, ooc, canon divergent, still learning british slang please bear with me. WC: 1657

English is my second language.

Captain Price had dreaded this day, he never thought he'd see a future where you would come to him and ask him for advice. advice on romance. all because of his lieutenant. damn him. you sat next to him on the couch, shifting awkwardly as you both stared straight ahead at the tv, a game playing in the background. your father's favorite team, you noticed, against the team Simon had mentioned liking himself. almost humorous, Price had noticed the clear tension since your birthday two weeks ago. he appreciated the fact that his lieutenant was being careful, neither acknowledging the very needed—talk, let's call it.

but of course, you were never one to dance around the subject.

"we need to talk," you said simultaneously, it would've been endearing if it weren't for the fact that the talk was not about what dinner would be tonight, or who you thought would win the game playing on the tv, not even about the professor you loathed and couldn't wait to leave her class.

you turned to face your father, fidgeting with the pendant hanging on your neck—the one Simon gave you, of course. your father really tried to not roll his eyes and scoff at the sight, he has definitely given you prettier jewelry—or at least that's what he thinks. you wouldn't tell him you grew out of the heart shaped jewelry; it would break his own heart. after a long, tension-filled moment of silence, you finally spoke, your voice breaking through. "I think 'm old enough to know, dad." you sighed, as if trying to let go of the tension in your body. "an' s'not like we're not conscious of how this may look." you admitted, looking away as you clenched your fists.

yeah, you guessed it would be weird if the man you knew for most of your life suddenly became your lover. age gaps were taboo, especially one such as yours. but who cared? Simon saw you as a petulant, spoiled child until last year—not like he would tell you that, he wouldn't stand listening to your huffs and scoffs of complaints (acting as if he isn't your biggest enabler). that's beside the point, anyway. right now, your focus was on your father, a pensive look on his features as he looked at you.

and then you felt a little guilty when you recognized the tiniest hint of his eyes glazing—just for a second, just enough to ignite concern in you. "m'not getting sent away, y'know." you tried to lift the mood, and he could only smile a little. you were just as awful as he was when it came to comfort, and that was okay. he placed a hand on top of yours, giving a gentle squeeze as his eyes went to your every feature– from the shape of your nose to the volume of your lashes, you were his perfect girl. he often joked he birthed you, something you hated the imagery of no matter how sickly sweet it was that you were his daughter.

"aye, I know." he said, giving a tender kiss to your temple in a moment of vulnerability. his lips lingered there, feeling his heart squeeze and tear at the fact that he knew he had to let go. it was just hard, from the little girl he'd take everywhere, to the woman you were now. your father knew there was no point in trying to change your mind–or your heart, you were dead set on what you wanted. curse his own self. his hand let go of yours, and he pulled away from you. the gears inside his head were turning, the slow but steady acceptance of the relationship between you and his lieutenant.

"he's been less ratty lately," he admitted, his attention turning back to the tv as the opposing team scored. he scoffed, it was as if the universe wanted to mock him. "never heard him make so many bloody awful jokes in just two weeks." Price couldn't help but smile, seeing the rest of the team so distraught–except for Soap, that instigator–was exhilarating to him.

“yeah? m’sure he got ‘em from ya.” you couldn’t contain the smile on your face, seeing as Simon’s team was winning by a landslide. Price cursed under his breath, the hissing sound of the now opened beer brought your attention back to him, the features of your father illuminated by the light of the tv. his eye bags that become more prominent after every mission, the smile lines barely concealed by his mustache connected to his beard. your father hummed in response, sipping on the awfully bitter beer that your father enjoyed. for a picky drinker, he sure enjoyed the most awful you've ever tried.

"princess," your eyes roamed back up to his face, leaning your head on his shoulder with a sigh. with a tiny hum, expressing your attention, he then spoke again. "don't tell him I told you, but Simon's taking a week off duty." your eyes widened at that, then grew to confusion. Simon? Taking a break? That was new. The thought made your heart flutter, smiling subconsciously as yet another cheer could be heard from the tv, but you couldn't find yourself caring enough to see who had scored.

Instead, you checked your phone as it vibrated, a text on the screen making you sit up with an even bigger grin.

"I'll be back by this weekend, let me take you out on a date."

𐬺𐬽𐬾❤︎︎𐬾𐬽𐬺

"shite," you cursed under your breath. your room was a mess, with clothes sprawled all over your bed and the wardrobe. it was Thursday, just a day away from seeing him again, and not a piece of clothing convinced you enough for the date. too formal? too casual? too feminine? a dress, or maybe jeans? you sighed in frustration, your fingertips softly massaging your temples as you sat on the chair of your dressing table. it's not like Simon puts much effort into his own attire, but this is a date. where are you going, again?

realization dawned as you realized he did not, in fact, tell you what the date would be. you cursed again, getting up only to slump down in your bed. should I text him? you thought, only to discard the idea almost immediately. he was busy, he's a lieutenant dealing with death's doorstep in every mission, and my father, that's enough stress. at the end of the day, all you achieved was to reorganize your wardrobe, and to make dinner for you and your father—if he came home tonight.

waiting in the dining table, poking at your food until the light sound of the keys jiggling and the door opening made your head snap up, finding your father walking in with something inside his duffel bag. "princess, I've got ya a gift from Simon." he unzipped the bag, and inside was a box–a brand box, your favorite to be specific. you gave a quick thanks to your father as you skipped past him, straight to your bedroom to open the box.

"thank you, Simon." was the text you sent immediately upon seeing what the box contained—a dress, of your favorite style and a color that complimented you just right. Simon knew you too well, or maybe he noticed the small things that others usually would not, such as the neckline of the dress that would look best with the pendant—yeah, maybe he really kept that in mind, and having you show it off for everyone to see that you are not going to be available in the foreseeable future.

Friday morning came around too quickly, waking up in the comfort of your bed to a message from Simon stating he would be back by the evening for your date.

hair up, or down? natural or should you just go bald? your makeup trials seemed to go wrong each time, from too bold of a color for your features, to barely noticeable blush you tried to add. maybe low heels, and maybe a few other jewelries. your head spun from stress, and it wasn't until your heart began to beat a little too faster that you finally took a break. Relax. you scolded yourself, your own reflection looking back at you as this time you managed to make your eyeliner even on both sides.

it was almost ridiculous, you told yourself, to fret this badly over a date. this isn't just a date, is it? it's the man you claimed to your father you would marry way back then, when you were just a child and caught a glimpse of the man wearing those dad-glasses you quietly make fun of. glancing over at the wall, you cursed when the time was past noon and almost evening. you had to finish now.

in the end, you decided to go for something a little outside of what your usual is, but nonetheless you kept getting complimented by your father as you walked back and forth on the living room. "a doll" he called you, and called Simon a bastard under his breath just in case he fucks up tonight. he gave you a reassuring smile and hid in the kitchen when the door was knocked. with sweaty hands and a heartbeat way above the normal speed, you opened the door to Simon with a smile on your face.

"love," he breathed out, his deep eyes roaming up and down how gorgeous you looked—as always. his hand came up to cradle your cheek, his lips just grazing your lips with a smile. "gorgeous, lovely." he all but purred, making your skin tingle and your face grow hot. you smiled in response, just about to close the gap when you remembered that your father was right there, hidden but there.

Well, the make out could wait until the date.

𐬺𐬽𐬾❤︎︎𐬾𐬽𐬺

AUGHHH part two is finally here, everyone do a standing ovation

[meanbossart]

Triple question here (started as one, then I got to thinking).

We've all seen Bhaalist Drow (that man can get it), but what would an Absolutist Drow look like? How'd he turn out if he controls the Elder Brain?

Alternatively, what would the dynamic between Bhaalist Drow and Ascended Astarion be like? Or AA and non-Bhaalist drow?

This is kind of a cop-out, but the supposed aftermath of the "control the brain" endings are really boring to me 😭 don't get me wrong, the actual cinematics and lines since patch 7 are AWESOME, but I can't think of any interesting followups after you become the literal absolute leader of the whole Sword Coast, y'know? Maybe that's a failure on my part.

Which is why in DU drow's evil ending I canonize that he can't fully control the brain with the stones - but he can keep it UNDER control and therefore uses it as a bargaining chip to further his own political games on the long-run and govern with fear.

Regardless of alignment, post-amnesia DU drow is always strongly opposed to the concept of the Absolute and relying on a more powerful force to achieve his goals (besides his own father). He used to be on-board with it pre-game, but that changes after everything that happens during the campaign and ESPECIALLY once he finds out how Orin used it to take him down.

So, basically, it's hard for me to come up with an answer to your first question because that would have to be a very different character. There isn't really a version of himself where he becomes that specific brand of evil without Bhaal's influence - even without Shadowheart or Jaheira to lead him down a slightly better path, a redemptive DU drow is more likely to become a full on murderer and cannibal rather than want to strip the earth of the ability to fight back - that's half the fun of it, after all.

As for Ascended Astarion, that's another branching path in this story that I'm still planning on exploring 😇 similarly to how we occasionally dip into the Bhaalist timeline for the drow.

An universe where both AA and Bhaalist DU drow exist would be tricky, since AA gives a tav the ultimatum of either being turned into his spawn or ending the relationship. I realize I could retcon this, but I don't want to - it feels core to that version of his character to want to have control over his partner IMMEDIATELY, and take the rejection as a betrayal. "Normal" DU Drow would never accept to be turned into a vampire spawn - Bhaalist DU drow would take the offer alone as an insult, not to mention do everything in his power to keep Astarion from ascending in the first place.

So, a romantic relationship between Bhaalist DU drow and Ascended Astarion simply wouldn't survive. In fact, I think they would very shortly after kill each other because of the ever-competing size of their egos.

Things wouldn't work too differently between normal DU drow and Ascended Astarion, save for the fact that DU would leave him alive and (hopefully) vice-versa. The person he fell in love with isn't there anymore and now encompasses everything he finds most irritating and off-putting - the exuberance, the pompousness, the thinly veiled desperation - he would lose his patience with AA right off the bat and from that point on they could hardly be in the same room together. Fortunately, Shadowheart and Jaheira would be around to keep DU drow from going off the deep-end after that.

There is one timeline where Ascended Astarion could really thrive, though:

I haven't gone much into the third possible outcome for a Dark Urge yet, but it is one where A.Astarion proposition would seem a lot harder to turn down - if not be the only choice he has left.

[mrsnishimuraaa]

jealousy

slytherin riki x griffindor reader!

note: this was req! i begcut me slack i have never watched hp movie in my life and this is a tinsy bit rushed but besides that i hope you enjoy though this is not the best of works i apologise 😭😭

m.list

things could get hectic sometimes around the school, but there’s always a way around it so here you find yourself sitting next to one of the new students deciding to make him feel a little more welcome to the sometimes not so welcoming environment, but your sweet and caring nature is something that he took in well, he noticed the way that your smile flashed when you were talking to him, helping him with his work, finding his way around hogwarts and making potions here and there. but the one student that had always sat at the back of the classroom was riki. though everyone takes him for the kind of mean and come off cold kind of person but you always believe that deep down everybody has some sort of soft spot.

but the parts that you didn’t take in was how he would look at you helping other male students around with their work, inching just a little bit too close to them, the way your skirt would ride up your thighs. although you weren’t his nor has he really ever spoken to you, he wants to find a way to make you his and he’ll make sure that it will happen . and by that he means he will go to any extent to have you under by his charms or underneath him.

The classes where you would be helping other male students riki would always be eyeing holes through them from the back of the room, the way that your hands would accidentally touch when passing things to eachother , the way that they lean in when you’re speaking to them because they couldn’t hear you well enough, the jealousy that boiled inside him grew day by day until he finally decided that he had enough, starting to try and grow closer to you. occasionally bumping into you in the hallways, exchanging notes or sometimes small greetings with each other.

But the day that he saw you talking to that one guy that you always are with, having you pressed up against your locker was the day that he just couldn’t take it any more. He trailed towards the two of you slowly but he walked as if he was on a mission, really trying to see how it would play out. you catch a glimpse of him marching towards the two of you from the corner of your eye thinking that maybe he’s just coming up to you for a few answers, but oh your so wrong

“what the fuck do you think your doing?” riki’s voice echos through the hallway. the boy steps away from you “i-it’s not what it looks like” his hands raise slightly in defence. but he is almost thrown out of the way as riki shoves his shoulder. “don’t ever speak to her again” his voice thick with intention. “what are you doing?” even through this eventful situation your voice remains calm and sweet, looking at the significantly taller boy with almost loving eyes.

“playing innocent hm? like he wasn’t about to take you right then and there huh doll? fuck do you know what you do to me?” his voice barley above a whisper as his eyes briefly scan the hall “what?” the tone of his words being an affect on you “come with me” he grabs your wrist, you hesitate for a moment, you can’t just run off to your rivals dormitory, but you follow his lead anyway.

“what is this all about? what’s your problem” you search for answers as you follow him through what seems like a maze, “you drive me crazy Y/N, always so close to all those other boys” he turns to look down at you briefly “so your jealous” you scoff slightly. “ don’t fucking test me” he opens the door to his dorm, ushering you inside before slamming it shut, and slamming his lips straight into yours. your taken back slightly but soon give into the warm feeling of his mouth.

he slowly guides the two of you backward, lips never leaving yours as you crash down onto his couch. breaking the kiss as he kisses slowly down your body , sucking on your neck as his hands rub your waist. “you drive me mad” he mumbles against your skin, sliding to his knees infront of the couch, leaving him looking straight up your skirt, shyness of course takes over you and he pickes it up. “don’t play innocent with me baby” his thumb runs over your clothed pussy as you whimper slightly. “take em off” he raises his eyebrows at you, watching as you shyly yet willingly drop your panties to your ankles.

“good girl, so wet f’me already hm, wanna see what you do to me?” the tease in his tone drove you mad, nodding as he pulls his pants and boxers down, his dick springs free and your mouth falls agape slightly. “ like what you see huh? “ his large hands find your thighs, spreading them apart as he rubs the tip of his dick against your folds. “please” the word left your lips almost silently, but your breath is brutally taken from your lungs as he slams his length in all at once. a sharp gasp is torn from you “ shit- i bet he would never fuck you like this” he grunts out, leaving you no time to adjust as his pace already grows ruthless. moans and whines leaving your mouth as he plows into your pussy.

“fuck, this is what you wanted isn’t it? hm? someone to fuck you so good” god he’s so cocky, but you can’t act like it isn’t turning you on. “always being so provocative, with your tiny fucking skirts” his hand snakes to your neck, applying a small amount of pressure. “fuck please please please!” you whine out as you throw your head back, immense pleasure taking over you as he absolutely destroys your insides. “yeah you wanna cum?” he taunts you as you nod quickly. “be a good girl and cum for me, bet he could never make you cum like this huh” his thrusts deepen even more, feeling like there’s a meaning to each thrust.

and before you know it your walls are pulsating around him as you squirt, liquid covering his pelvis and the top of your skirt “ah! shit”he slams himself even deeper this time with a grunt, emptying his balls almost straight into your womb. “never speak to that fucking guy again, got it?” his eyebrow raises , you nod hesitantly at his almost harsh words. “

good girl, maybe come sit with me in the back of class, find out how good you are at staying quiet hm?”



[haveihitanerve]

Le Ingredients: Papa needs to calm- Papa needs- papa-oy..

Hope you enjoy this insanity as much as I did! Lets go!:

“Should we just start off with ingredients?” I love it soo so so much when they turn to each other and ask, because usually the person who introduces the idea of the long form just has final say because they’re the ones talking(and they know each other well enough at this point to know which titles would make a good story for them/the others to develop) but i still love seeing them actually ask its so cute

“Thats how you start a recipe lets do it!” Damn Sam, thats so smooth. I forget sometimes this is their job lol

“Damn hes good.” lol exactly!

“All i need from you to get us started is- is some forced applause okay?” LMAOO TOM

“Thats why I married you.” AJ: *blinks. Pause. Ok sam. ok.* LMAOOO he did not see that coming

“I love you so much.” Lunges for Sam and kisses him so well he has to take a moment to recover is crazzyyyy XD

“Papa gets stressed.” Grins because he knows- he fucking knowss what he’s doing

“Papa needs to calm down.” Now Sam is in on it, even coming up behind ooohhh this is not how quickly i expected this to go-no complaints tho

“Papa needa calm- papa-oy-” Oh AJ did not expect Sam to go along lmaooo its too much for him

“I gave the 4-5 to.. James.. And *searches mind palace for another name* Tiffany.” XD

“ITALY!!!” *goes for a high five, gives Sam .2 seconds to reciprocate and gives up* “OkaY!!...”

“I love you.” “i love you too.” SAM FUCKING WINKS FUCKING WHAT. oh my gods… im going insane wow ok…

(also the absolutely no reaction from AJ, just a slight smile is killing me he was completely prepared for Sam to wink and acted like it happens on the daily and oh my gods)

*gasps dramatically* is Aj calling a side chick rn? No Aj! Bad AJ! Please give us a happy relationship…

Sam answering the phone XD

“She is gone is she? Where?” “I think to the toilet.” AJ… “is that what she said?” Sam is flabbergasted as to how AJ already forgot XD

Oh no, ok so AJ is planning something, what no one knows, not even him, but hes not cheating on his wife so we’re all good

“You need to bet in the papers.” “Did you say bet in the papers?” “No i said get in the papers.” mhm… sure Sam. sure. Also, thanks for giving us an actual plot of what aj is attempting to do???

AJ hanging up and then resuming his excellent stage craft of making food while waiting for either someone to join him or to end the scene- his little smile is so cute because he cant do anything unless someone else joins him XD

Sam just fucking screeching and AJ’s little jolt of surprise

[continuous cries of pain and choking for a disturbingly long time]

Tom sitting right next to Sam just :D watching to see what AJ’ll do next without bothering to move to help either one at all XD

AJ slowly breaking, a small smile, little flinch when Sam screams renewed, and shoulders shaking, while Tom props his arm up, classic Tom pose with his fingers over his mouth as he watches, they're so cute

*he is still going btw*

“HOT HOT! HOT! HOOOOOOTTT!” oh so he has words now, nice

[renewed cries of pain and??? drowning???]

[that also go on for a very long time and then eventually, slooowwwwlllllyyyyy die down]

Tom breaking and looking at Sam like “you good? You about done now?” 🫠😭

AJ taking a breath because its finally done

Sam: AUGH!! AJ: *pulls out a shotgun and fucking shoots him*

Sam himself finally ending the scene wth XD

Tom standing up resignedly as AJ finally gets to laugh off stage about Sam being weird 

“Morning chief.” Tom did not want that to be his character, as we can tell by his little sigh and AJ’s/Sam’s laughter at him. “Good morning.” why does he sound russian/like a vampire

“Any weird crimes happen yesterday?” Tom does his classic “ehhhhh.” nod. Love love love

“I've been up all night, its-” “what exactly happened?” AJ and Sam having shit eating grins because they made everything happen and are now forcing Tom to come up with the actual concrete details of the plot because they’re little shits like that XD

“I've only had time to watch it three times, it kept going y'know?” Shade thrown Sam’s way, very nicely done, and still being very obscure because he doesn't wanna build the plot lmaooo

“You know… you know octopuses?” Tom w h a t. Sam’s confused chuckle before he covers it because Tom. w h a t. 

“My story is always straight.👹” turns demonic for a second. Sam:... ok weird thing to say…

“So they serve octopus, paeiella.” …what. “Sorry?” Even Sam is knocked off guard. 

“Its a spanish dish.” “yeah.” Sam got that part. “Paella?” He knows what its called. “Octo- Let me finish why are you interrupting?” yes, act offended, perfect

“Shut your tiny mouth down.” even weirder thing to say but i dig it, keep going

“And thats not very nice, you know Im very insecure about the size of my mouth.” lmaooo Sam making it personal

“Its a small mouth are we meant to pretend?” Tom is not gonna let anything go, got it. “Meant to pretend its a normal sized mouth?” 

“okay come on lets move on.” Sam attempting to move the plot along

“Its dainty.” Tom not letting that happen “we like it, but its dainty.” Aj just grinning from off stage because he doesn't have to worry about plot or saying words properly

“So theres this octopus, and its in the paeilia.” (autocorrect tried to spell it correctly, but no, this is how tom spells it so this is how we spell it)

Sam folding, Aj laughing, and Tom being confused and defensive, amazing

“Cant pronounce that word, can you?” XD poor tom…

“PAIEALLLA!!!” Yes Tom, saying it louder means you are correct

“Paella.” That, strangely enough, autocorrect didn't want to change… suspicious

“Nooooo….” tom XD help-

“Im saying it the italiano way.” “oh I see. Wrong.” DAMN SAM!!! DAMN XD

“Anyway, octopus paella-” “octopus paeylla.” Tom- Aj loosing it on the side and Sam having to lean away, folding again. LMAOOO as Tom just stands there, like “what?” XD

“You sound like every time you say it, like you're having a mini stroke.” Sam will not let this go- also i've seen clips of this scene before and wow it goes on much longer than i believed lmaooo

AJ trying to recover and loosing it again when Sam says “mini stroke’ bending over fully and smacking his leg, amazing

“I will.. Get someone else.” now thats a threat. I think he means just in general, replacing Sam with a new improv group XD

“The other can do this just as well.” Aj your position off stage and not in the scene is being threatened. 

“What- you've just drawn an octopus so far. How does that *breaks, finally and laughs* help? I don't need pictograms *AJ cackling as he folds again, Sam trying to recover but failing* its not fucking ancient egypt.” this is glorious how did Tom manage to turn the tides on sam when its not even fucking real what hes doing LMAOOO XD

“Octopus- *disgruntled and aggressive glare at sam* paella.” Sam: *cheeky shit smirks and hold up a finger*-better!

“I work so hard.” we see you tom, we know, keep up the good work. 

“Octopus paeialla” he was so close!

“An octopus dish.” they have taken all the wind from his sails lmaooo

“Yum this delicious.. dish.”  poor baby XD

“I got to the big deal and you're just cutting off me!!!!!!” tom, where are these english degrees thats not proper word positioning in a sentence tsk tsk lol

“Were going back to the start!” Angry tom. “Octopus paeilla.” hes given up on all of them XD

“By the paella or by the octopus?” sam knew what he was trying to say and is just making life hard at this point XD and we love him for it

“AHHHHHH!” tom is ready to strangle him XD

*long winded explanation that periodically is interrupted by Tom *wiggle arms* and Aj laughing* and the woman is dead.  Well that wrapped up nicely…

“Si.” “Si?” “... yes.” Sam is just fucking with him now XD “Si. Yes.” *Tom is going insane* “what?” his little arm flaps at Sam hes so confused and concerned XD 

Meanwhile AJ: *loosing it offstage*

“Why are you questioning me?” I love the way he suddenly inhaled helium and is eight octaves higher, adore

“I think, open and shut case.” “octopus breaks into restaurant, *Aj’s giggle* hides into a paella, *deep breath* and then strangles *Tom: paeilla* (tom baby no) a woman.” “Si. ANd fire.” yes, yes Sam, don't forget the fire. 

“Maybe the octopus did it, i don't fucking know.” Sam is just done lmaoo

“Dina, dina come in.” AJ’s nod at Sam that ‘yes, you are dina, my wife, come here’ and Tom being extra “ill leave.” 

“Really?” Sam is shocked lmaooo, so much so he forgets his accent XD

“Why are the italians so fucking mental.” lmaooo- Translation: why are you two idiots so fucking mental, cant we have a normal fucking skit for once

“Its- is terrible.” Brilliant acting Aj, 10/10, everyone believes that you think its terrible

“Babi-” did he forget the name or is this his italian pet name for his wife? 

AJ’s smile and his correction- “dina” reveals the first(or its his weird italian way of saying “babe” or smth but nobody got it so he had to clarify lol)

“You only call me Babi when you're lying.” 

“This is your restaurant.” “yes?” aj is unaware how this is relevant. “This is so far very much within your wheelhouse.” LMAOOO

Aj’s hand still on Sam’s shoulder🫠

“Where would I find an octopus-” “you're a chef! Its one of the ingredients-!” Sam is loosing it XD

“But where would I find an octopus that has the ability to strangle someone and set itself on fire. *starts grinning* its so stupid.” It is indeed, and we love it

“I know about your circus past.” DAMN! The way AJ’s smile dropped so fast is incredible holy shit

“Don't you ever-” Both Sam and AJ break with laughter because honestly, what is this storyline XD

“The english mafia.” AJ fighting a smile🫠😭

*pulls out his actual, genuine iphone* look at this, Starling Bank *grins* What number does it say, from last nights revenue. Say it out loud.” AJ forcing Sam to create this, beautiful XD

Sam actually doing something on AJ’s phone lol, so sweet

“Two-” “two million euros.” Said in unison while grinning at each other- ill be right back let me just go cry in the corner-

Tom: *stands, ready to join the scene* Sam: the octopus! Tom: *look of disappointment and annoyance the way only good friends can convey with a single look*

All three of them laughing at the joke together im gonna cry theyre so cute

Tom’s head tilt- sobbing🫠

“No stop it!” Aj has to step in to defend him XD

Sam still losing it at his own joke while Tom just stares at him, done

“Let him be the character he wanted to be!” AJ!!! help- XD

“Do you have something to mention on the octopus. *voice shaking with laughter* whoever you may be.” Tom: *just starts fucking honking????* XD LMAOO

“Me and my comically large feet.” Puts foot up on chair where AJ’s hand was a second ago, moves it away before he places it because he saw it coming. Almost loses his balance- Sams hand snaps up and stabilizes him as Aj grabs the chair and his foot😭*sobs in the corner in i want their friendship*

THE WAY SAMS PHONE TURNS OFF RIGHT AS TOM SNAPS IS INSANEE

“Is he a clown or magician?” Tom: *eyes light up in idea* both! *fwish* flowers? Tom stop being sweet to AJ’s wife, this isn't a cheating story.. Also- the true magic is that hes wearing short sleeves, so he pulled the flowers out of his wrists… 

“Its a bird!” thank you for sharing Tom XD

The way they're all standing in like a triangle just periodically smiling at each other when they’re not the ones actively participating in the scene is too cute

“They have magicians at the circus right?” Noooot… really, but now really isn't the time to ask, that would have been like… a few seconds ago lol

Sam and AJ laughing, Sam releasing air like a balloon while AJ just chuckles, staring at tom incredulously like “you're asking this now??” and Tom just smiles and goes “yeahh.” and i love that for all of them

“This marriage is over!” NOOOO “No!” Sam: :) Si. LMAOO

“Remember,” Aj dropping a few inches in height just so Tom seems even taller is crazy mental and i love him for it

“The big top always comes out.. On top.” AJ’s surprised burst of a laugh is everything to me, including his little victorian hand over the mouth

Tom backing up while making clown honk noises and AJ tries desperately not to laugh

“Its like seven in the afternoon.” Tom: *really?* seven in the afternoon? Thats why!

“Im sorry, I’ve been up all night with duolingo trying to learn spanish words,*sam’s slow growing joy as the sentence progresses, AJ’s laugh in the back* apparently my pronunciation is terrible.” LMAOO Tom never change XD

Tom ever so casually just shutting the door in Sam’s face as he starts to ramble is a power move and also crazy

“I thought we could do this bit off stage because its really just… *flaps arms tiredly* they already know.” Sam laughs and does, in fact, end the scene lol

“Dmitri!” Tom: *speaks Russian gibberish back* AJ: *pauses, did not expect that, has to smile* don't speak russian! Fuckin- *cant think of something not xenophobic to say*-do it now!

“I have a successful restaurant-” Tom comes fucking floating in like hes the Ghost of Somerset past or smth weird like that..

AJ: *bamboozled but keeps talking, glancing at Tom like ‘what do you want now’* they're all so tired and done with each other its absolutely amazing

Tom weirdly hugging Aj… its just cute even if its weird…anyway…

“My name is.. Uh…” AJ not sure if hes been given a name, if he has a name, if he can come up with a name, or if waiters even introduce themselves. They don't, especially not if hes just serving food and not there to just grab orders, but he’s realizing that slowly XD

“I wanted some of your… paillllaa.” Tom, just… keep trying bud, you're doing great. Sam’s laugh off stage is amazing too

“You are under arrest.” AJ’s smile of ‘wow okay already? We moved fast tom, but ok..” “on suspicion of octopus” Tom, never change XD

“And we will kill no more women in here.” Sam and AJ having a stare down while Tom does a fourth wall break, iconic as always

“Everybody hear that? So, if any of you were thinking of doing a murder, n- you cant!” and thats- thats final!!! So says Tom! lmaooo

“I've got one last ingredient for you” *does stagecraft of taking off a ring, but maybe thats not obvious enough* “my wedding ring.” Tom: *nope we cant have that* thats actually contraband… so.. 

All of them cracking at Tom’s last joke

Also the way Tom was still cradling AJ’s hands… 😭

AND SCENE

ANyway this was absolutely delightful, loved the delightful arguing, the... i dont wanna say eye-fucking because they weren't doing that, maybe eye-shitting-on-each-other?? anyways it was amazing as always, they're too fucking cute and I love

This is also one of the first skits I've seen where AJ is equally as done with Sam and Tom as they are with him, and its delightful lmaoo

@dawn-speckled thank you for the rec! @snek-of-eden

[woozinhos]

signing nda with mingi, pls?🙏

Notes: I’m so so happy I’m getting some Ateez requests please start requesting more! Sorry I made mingi a dick at the end 😭

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.

Mingi pulls you into his room, his eyes dark with desire. He pushes you onto the bed, climbing on top of you and pinning your wrists above your head. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this," he growls, his lips crashing against yours in a bruising kiss.

Mingi had been eyeing you all night at the club a few weeks ago, his gaze following you as you danced with your friends. He couldn't take his eyes off you, captivated by your beauty and confidence. He had seen you around before, but this was the first time he had the chance to approach you. Who knew it would lead to this, your hoping it can lead to more after this. You look up at him, your heart racing as he starts to kiss your neck. His lips are soft and warm against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.

"Mingi..." you whisper, your voice barely audible over the music. "What are we doing?" Mingi doesn't answer, too focused on the task at hand. He nibbles on your earlobe, his hands roaming over your body. "I've wanted you for so long," he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin. Mingi continues to kiss and bite your neck, leaving a trail of love bites in his wake. His hands slide down to your hips, pulling you closer to him.

"You have no idea how much I've fantasized about this," he confesses, his voice low and sultry. "About you." You moan softly as Mingi's hands roam over your body, his touch igniting a fire within you. He pushes your shirt up, revealing your bare skin to him.

"You're so beautiful," he says, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. "I could look at you all day." Mingi quickly strips out of his clothes, revealing his toned body to you. He's even more attractive than you imagined, his muscles flexing as he moves. He smirks at the way you're looking at him, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you. "Like what you see?" he teases.

"I do," you say, your eyes raking over his body. "You're gorgeous." Mingi grins and leans down to kiss you again, his hands on your thighs. "So are you," he murmurs against your lips. "I want to taste every inch of you." Mingi's lips move down your neck, trailing kisses along your collarbone and down to your chest. He helps you out of your clothes, his fingers deftly unhooking your bra and tossing it aside.

"God, you're perfect," he breathes, his eyes dark with desire. "I want to worship you." You smile back at him, your heart fluttering at his words. "Worship me then," you challenge. Mingi grins and lowers his head to your chest, his tongue flicking out to circle your nipple. He takes it into his mouth, sucking and teasing it until it's hard and sensitive. He moves to your other nipple, giving it the same treatment as the first. His hands slide up your sides, caressing your skin and making you shiver.

"You taste so good," he groans, his lips leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach. "I could do this all day." Mingi lifts his head, looking up at you with a hungry expression. "Can I fuck you?" he asks, his voice husky with need. "Please." You nod, unable to deny him any longer. "Yes," you say breathlessly. "I want you to." Mingi grins and kisses you again, his hands moving to your hips. He pushes you back onto the bed, positioning himself between your legs.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear you say that," he growls, his cock twitching against your thigh. As Mingi starts to move against you, your thoughts start to wander. You can't shake the feeling that he's hiding something from you, that there's something he's not telling you. Despite the pleasure he's giving you, you can't help but wonder what it is. You push the thought aside for now, focusing on the moment and enjoying the way he makes you feel. Mingi groans as he pushes inside you, the feeling of your tightness making him even harder. He grips your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he starts to move.

"Fuck, you're so tight," he grunts, his eyes locked on yours. "So good for me." He sets a steady rhythm, his hips thrusting in and out of you with increasing speed. The sound of his skin slapping against yours fills the room, along with your moans and his low growls.

"You feel so good," he praises, his voice strained. "I'm not gonna last long." You try to speak, but your words come out in a jumble of moans and gasps. You manage to get out a few words, "Harder... please..." Mingi grins at your plea, clearly enjoying the effect he's having on you. "As you wish," he says, his pace quickening. He pushes your legs up, practically bending you in half as he drives into you harder and deeper. The new angle hits your sweet spot perfectly, causing you to cry out in pleasure. Mingi leans down, capturing your lips in a bruising kiss to muffle your moans. He swallows them down, his tongue exploring your mouth as he continues to pound into you.

"I love the way you sound," he whispers against your lips. "You're so vocal for me." He moves one hand between your legs, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it in circles. "Cum for me," he commands, his voice low and dominant. "I want to feel you cum around my cock." You can feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your body trembling with pleasure. You grip the sheets tightly, your back arching off the bed as Mingi keeps up his relentless pace.

"That's it," he growls. "Let go for me. I want to see you come undone." With a few more deep thrusts, you reach your climax, your body convulsing as waves of pleasure wash over you. You cry out his name, your vision going white for a moment. Mingi follows soon after, groaning as he spills himself inside you. He collapses on top of you, panting heavily as he tries to catch his breath. Mingi shudders as he cums, his body going tense for a few seconds before he relaxes against you. He buries his face in your neck, pressing soft kisses to your skin as he comes down from his high.

"You're incredible," he murmurs, his voice thick with satisfaction. Mingi pulls out and flops down next to you, a satisfied smile on his face. He reaches out and brushes a strand of hair out of your face, his eyes roaming over your flushed skin. Mingi sits up and looks at you, his expression suddenly serious. "I have something to tell you," he says, his tone cautious. "But I need you to promise me that you'll hear me out, okay?" Mingi hands you the NDA, his fingers brushing against yours as he does so. "This is an NDA," he explains. "I need you to sign it." You look at him with hurt in your eyes, confused and slightly betrayed. "Why do I need to sign an NDA?" you ask, your voice trembling slightly.

"I can't have anyone knowing about this, about us. It could ruin my career." He says looking at me and my reaction. You feel a pang of hurt in your chest, realizing that Mingi is worried about his career more than he is about you. You look down at the NDA in your hands, feeling conflicted.

"So you're ashamed of me?" you ask quietly, looking up at him again. Mingi shakes his head quickly, reaching out to take your hand. "No, no, it's not like that," he says, his grip on your hand tightening. "I'm not ashamed of you. I just need to protect my image, my career. You have to understand that." You snatch the pen from him, your hand shaking with anger as you sign the NDA. "Fine," you say through gritted teeth. "I'll sign it. But don't expect me to be happy about it." You scribble your signature onto the paper, your handwriting shaky and messy. Once you're done, you toss the pen aside and glare at Mingi.

"There," you say coldly. "Happy now?" Mingi looks at the signed NDA, a mixture of relief and guilt on his face. "Thank you," he says softly. "I know this isn't easy for you, but it's for the best. I promise." He reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away from him.

Mingi watches as you get up and start to get dressed, his expression falling. "Where are you going?" he asks, a hint of desperation in his voice. You don't look at him as you finish getting dressed, your movements stiff and angry. "I'm leaving," you say bluntly. "I can't stay here and be someone's dirty little secret." Mingi stands up, his eyes wide with panic. "Please, don't go," he pleads, taking a step towards you. "I don't want you to leave like this. Let's talk about it."

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Hello hello fellow mutual! Can I request some fluffy Engiescout head-canons & how the rest of the Mercs would react to their relationship?

EngieScout Headcanons!

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Hey, hey moot! This totally didn't take me an absurdly long time to answer 😭 Anyways, you can indeed request these because, I think EngieScout is a really cute ship, so I'm more than happy to write about it!

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Engineer has a PLETHORA of nicknames for Scout, and they are HUMILIATING to Scout. It's not that he doesn't like the nicknames, but give the poor man a break, his heart can only take so much. Darlin', sweetheart, buttercup, doll, his face is BRIGHT red. Hitting Engie with a "yeah..yeah...whatever whatever!" Which only makes Engineer comment on it, innocently at first, but the longer they're together it becomes more teasing.

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Scout likes to doodle a lot, and he's definitely drawn Engineer, his pre-existing gadgets, and even some blue prints for totally cool and awesome super possible devices that Engie should totally make for him. And while Engineer doesn't get to making his blue prints come to life, they all get pinned up in his workspace, as well as any art that Scout is willing to gift to him.

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Scout is DEFINITELY a bit of a clothes theif, however, he gets SUPER embarrassed and defensive if called out, even if it's not intentionally brought up to embarrass him. He has 100% stolen a shirt or two from Engie and then has Engie compliment him on how nice Scout looks in his clothes, only from Scout to try and protest, only to be met with MORE compliments, which eventually make Scout give the clothes back. Which DOES lead to a conversation about how Engie genuinely loves seeing Scout in his clothes, and how they make Scout feel just a bit closer to Engie, even when he's not around.

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I like to think Scout is covered in moles and freckles, and sometimes, on hot nights, when Engie and Scout are having a sleepover, Engineer will trace the moles and freckles on Scout, connecting each one slowly while they talk and talk and talk. And sometimes, the conversation drifts to talks about stars and constellations, and Engie uses each mark on Scout as a way to draw the constellations. He also comments on the freckles on Scout's face as well, and he genuinely loves them.

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I think Scout likes to sit with Engie while he works, especially late into the night. He may complain about being bored every now and then, but generally, he spends time just talking Engineers ear off about whatever he can think about. Engie just listens quietly while tinkering, giving brief a "mhm" or "is that right?" But don't let him fool you! He is interested! He's just splitting his attention. Also, I definitely think Scout has fallen asleep while trying to stay up all night along side Engie. The Bonk can only hold up so much against coffee </3. And once Engineer notices, he figures it's time they both sleep. Some nights, he wakes Scout up, and they head to bed. Other nights, he just shakes his head with a laugh, picking Scout up and taking him to bed himself.

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On days where Engie has pulled yet another all nighter to work on things, or simply stay up because he can't sleep. Scout will do his best to drag the poor sleep deprived man to bed, or he'll make his way to the empty kitchen, and spend a good amount of time making sure he can make Engie the PERFECT cup of coffee. It may have more than 3 times the amount of sugar the human body can handle, but Engie always accepts it with a smile, and a small cheers with Scout's own cup of coffee, as Scour tries to understand Engineer's odd sleep habits, and how he can help the poor man get some decent rest.

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I like to think Engineer has to work with some sort of background noise. He cannot work in complete silence, unless its something he needs to have total focus on. But normally he has a little radio playing some random station on as background noise. However sometimes when Scout comes to watch him work, or just pester him, he'll change the radio to "better" music. At first, it slightly annoyed Engie, not that he REALLY cared about the music, but it was the fact that Scout thought his music tastes were better! But after yet another time of Scout popping in to pester him, he forgot, yet again, to change the radio back before leaving. Engineer sighed, too invested in his project to get up and change it. So he found himself getting more work done with the music Scout had chosen. When Scout came back AGAIN to pester the poor man, he paused, instantly teasing him for not changing the music back. But what can Engie say, he works better thinking of the man he loves.

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I think Scout's favorite date he's been on with Engie is when one night he Engineer approached Scout, blanket, some snacks, and drinks in hand, and didn't even really tell him what was happening, just grabbed Scout along with the other items and walked him outside, not too far from the base but a decent amount, laid out the blanket, and just laid down, inviting Scout to join him. And they simply had some snacks and stargazed. Scout nearly fell asleep as they did so, as at some point Engie had pulled Scout close and began playing with his hair.

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As for the teams reaction, I don't think most of them care. Hey, as long as everyone is happy and still getting their jobs done, who are the others to hate? They wish them nothing but the best together...HOWEVER!

Pyro is, at first, a little bit of an over protective fan, Engie and Scout are both it's friend! So they're naturally a bit nervous about things, but in the end, they're just so happy that their friends can be happy with each other, and that they're in love. Pyro is VERY supportive!

Spy however...I really don't like the hc that Spy doesn't care that his son is dating a man, he's more concerned with the TYPE of man Scout is dating. Although he has his gripes about the Texan, he knows deep down that Engie is a good, honest man, as much as any of them could be. He's begrudgingly supportive, because he truly does just want what's best for his son. And if that's dating a man from Texas who's chronically covered in motor oil, grease, burns and cuts. Well, he'll, tolerate it, for now, for the sake of son. But he WILL complain by muttering in French when the two are with each other around him.

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Hope you liked this, and i hope they are fluffy enough! I had fun writing! I really do enjoy writing hcs for different tf2 ships, and I do love them all. I was exhausted while finishing this so I hope I didn't hit anyone with the mischaracterization ray </3 but yeah! That's the post and I am heading to bed now. Valintines Day post is next !!

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[bloomed-night-flower]

Waiting….Waiting

Ace x reader

Would you fall in love with me in every lifetime?

Such a honest and weird question to ask, but you remember it’s what you loyal knight had said to you once. He kneeled down to you as you drank your tea silently. His eyes held worry as the orange eyes looked at you wishing for an answer. You never did get to give him one.

The loyal knight stood in front of you with his guard up. The leader of a rebellion ready to attack and kill you. “I’ll protect you, your highness/Majesty!” The knight strikes to attack the rebel, with your knight distracted an assassin shoots an arrow from behind.

The glass behind you shatters as it shoots your stomach, another flies and shoots your ribs, another to the back where you left chest lies. It was such a beautiful scene, if only your death wasn’t involved. The loyal knight runs off over as he slays the rebel, he holds you tightly and close. Bring your head to his armor chest, “###, to answer your question…” you mummer softly and tiredly as blood oozes out from your mouth. “I don’t think we’re meant to be….good bye Ace”

What about this life your majesty/highness?

A cat struts it’s ways through the alway as it goes into a small box, a calico cat already lays in there. The smaller [Cat type] snuggles against the calico cat. It purrs as they rest against each other. Soon a few kids come by and pluck the [Cat type] away from the calico cat. The calico cat hisses as the [Cat type] tries to get away from the children’s grasp. The children giggle not before the giggles subdue as the [Cat type] scratches on of their cheeks. The children grow angry and throw the cat at the wall.

The children leave in a hurry as the calico cat runs over and rubs in to the [Cat type]’s fur. Checking if they’re awake, they aren’t. A pool of blood grows underneath the cat as it nuzzles in the calico cat one last time.

Meow?

The mirror shines as it waits, waits for the one person he doesn wish to let go to leave him. Maybe that's why his dream was only…well a dream. Was it so greedy of him to want them to come back, why can’t there be a way for them to come back and forth? He’s happy for them but he can’t help but feel this string of longing growing.

They turn around and hug him tightly, a small mummer of “I’m sorry that I can’t come back and forth like your dream”. He gently pats their back to reassure them it’s alright. If they’re happy he’ll be happy. Just for them. He will fall in love with them again, and in every life they can’t live peacefully. Never together, I’ll be waiting, waiting, for you my love.

Ace holds back the tears that brim as he watches them leave, he lets go of the sigh as his eyes sadden. He’ll wait for you in every life

Impulsive ahh writing😔 Thanks to the new chapter I wrote this in under an hour🙏😭 I NEED TO BE WORKING ON MY ACTUAL STORY BRUV🥹🥹 Also epic the musical helped😔😔😔 ILL BE WAITING WAITNG

[skyfallscotland]

This was a stellar analysis and if everyone who is NOT Helena could just ignore this reply that would be amazing. (Not really, you don’t have to, but like if you think I’m dumb just whisper it quietly to yourself and if you can’t handle dissection of the text or SOMETIMES dissatisfied opinions, then also turn away this is not for you, I don’t want more anxiety it was just too long for the comment reply box).

I laughed out loud at “modern au” 😭😂 she just wanted to get in on that, she saw us writing relatively happy Xaden and went you know what, that seems like fun

I just think the new “brother” being Bodhi is so trite and heavy handed 😩

I actually just assumed this was a six month period like the last two books so Aaric’s signet could have manifested a month in LMAO damn it. PLUS, before Rebecca said that, it did line up for him having manifested during the battle of Basgiath. His whole speech to Vi about having to choose between Lilith and her seemed a bit too on the nose to me.

If it IS Bodhi for the reasons RY implies and Xaden’s like wow he’s the last person I’d expect…it really isn’t a good look for Xade in my opinion 😭

What is a random vindictive gene if not a birth defect? Though I think maybe it could have been better demonstrated by Violet having had the fever and never recovered herself (a la POTS/CFS) if she wasn’t going to actually do something with it, but then I also think making the illness the result of her being “the bad guy” could also give neggy connotations? Idk it really depends if she plans on expounding on veninism—I know we’ve talked about this before.

But also on this—was Vi just a preemie baby? Was she just small? Because (afaik) a hEDS presentation probably wouldn’t be immediately obvious until she’s four? Five? Which is def old enough to remember going with daddy to a temple if it was a big deal/memorable event. Like how old was she before this was an idea in Asher’s mind? Or are we just assuming it’s to do with her illness and it’s not. It’s never overtly said.

I also think, on the venin, that perhaps in her original idea, they Were supposed to be a very one-dimensional villain, but then we got to writing book two and they made it a five book series and all of a sudden she felt like she had to flesh a lot of things out? And that maybe that is where things became unstuck and not greatly paced in regards to them as a concept?

“She is warmth and light and air and love” CRYING

Also, out of order with my other thoughts but I didn’t really get the ice analogy (when reading it in the book), I’m sorry, I’m dumb but it feels clunky.

SGAEYL IS HIS MOTHER

I don’t know who that person on the isle even was and his real mother should have roasted her for her offences.

Jack kinda implies that it goes initiate then straight to asim, no? Like there’s no in between?

The intentionally misleading writing For Me doesn’t hit. I really feel like she does this continually and I just think it shows poor narrative skill and/or poor choice of POV/tense overall if that’s how you want to do it. At the end of the day, readers aren’t supposed to come away from your book confused. Curious and wondering, yes, but confused, no. I would die if this many people were walking away from my writing going “what the fuck was happening, I almost DNF’d because I didn’t understand a thing” but that’s just me.

I think also, the lack of resolution for anything also ties into this. You have to give your readers some payoff and it can’t just be in the form of fan service. Every book needs to have some subplots that are wrapped up, all good series’ have some subplots wrapped up in each book—you get new questions, sure, but you have some answered too. Onyx Storm just didn’t do that.

Also, I think the Isle of Dunne is a red herring, I think he’s taking the eggs to the irids. They’re the ONLY ones who right now, as far as he knows, conceivably have the power to change the tide of this war, they just refuse to help because they left an irid there once and the dragons perverted her morality? I don’t have a fleshed out theory, but I think they’re the only ones it makes sense for Xaden to try and elicit a deal out of right now and I think he somehow plans on using the cultural exchange student hatchlings to do it 🤪🖤

Question: are the irids technically dragons at all? As we know them?

Were the dragons irids who lost some of their power by drawing from the ground or refusing to worship their gods? Is this devolution at work? I have….questions.

I’m very aware I need to do a re read to clear some things up for myself but I’m just not…wanting to yet ha. It’s also 1am so I’m probably making ZERO sense, I can barely keep my eyes open sorryyyy xx

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the ending!!

I'm soooo sorry nonny. This took 5ever. For some reason, I mentally decided that the completion of this ask would be the end of my Onyx Storm era, and then I didn't want to go near it because I didn't want the book to be done :(. However, I was brave, and I did it. This got insanely obscenely long, so you're getting Xaden's chapter 65 now, and then I'll reblog with Vi's LAST chapter some other time.

Chapter 65: Xaden

Veninism: I think the first thing that comes up in this chapter is the insight into the venin mindset. Xaden's significantly more intense (both than earlier in the book, and in his previous POV chapters). At first, I wasn't a huge fan of the "ice" thing, because I missed the part where he explains it (perks of reading till 5 in the morning) and I thought it was some anachronistic hockey reference. (Fun fact: I wrote this out before Rebecca gave that interview revealing that, yes, it WAS an anachronistic hockey reference. I know that lady WELL.) HOWEVER! The way it's explained here, (essay below the cut)

"Wrath courses like a current under the ice I willingly skate onto, cutting my emotions like the burdens they are so I can be the weapon she needs." (Yarros, 520)

reminds me a lot of a PTSD flashback/trauma event. Not only does this make significantly more sense with the metaphor at hand, but it makes a lot more sense with Rebecca's body of work. I know she's made addiction comparisons, and I can see some lines, but, frankly, I think it's a much more intricate web than a 1-1 metaphor. Especially with the use of the word "triggered" to describe what happens to him when he is "on the ice" as it were, I think (if anything) it's about using an addiction to cope with PTSD-type trauma.

Bond Fuckery: After revealing that Xaden cannot kill the sage himself, he goes on to say,

"I could no more raise a blade to his throat than I could Violet. The bond between Violence and me is the kind of magic that has no explanation." (Yarros, 521)

Which....is weird! Given that we have a precise explanation for said bond in Fourth Wing, maybe something else is going on? #the power of love?? I'm not trying to say they're soul mates in any real tangible way because this is not that kind of story, but I do think it means something. I just don't know what yet.

Further bond fuckery themes are found earlier in the book. There's the entire situation with Andarna leaving, in which Leothan says,

"Bonds are merely magical ties. You are irid. You are magic. Bend it, shape it, break it as you see fit." (Yarros, 443)

I've definitely seem some people floating the idea that perhaps Andarna broke Tairn and Sgaeyl's mating bond, re: Tairn's suspicious period of rest on page 526, (I personally thought he was tired from killing some dragons!) and I definitely think that's a possibility. However, I think it's really interesting that, specifically, Leothan also says bend it and shape it. I know we're supposed to finish the book thinking that Andarna/Leothan severed Violet's bond with Andarna, and then re-forged said bond mid-battle. To me...that doesn't really make sense? There was no real moment where you can say, okay, bond re-forged. It just kind of happens? Which I suppose is also how it happens at threshing, so maybe I'm the problem. Still, I think the idea that perhaps Andarna (or another irid??? given her 1 week of training???) bent or reshaped Tairn and Sgaeyl's mating bond (in order to protect Xaden/Xaden's mission/Violet from the consequences of Xaden's mission) is worth considering.

There's also the entire element of modern AU no magic isles. I know a lot of people thought that entire quest section of the book was filler, but I disagree. I definitely think that insertion was meant to demonstrate that the bonds are not as infallible as we've been led to believe, to show their importance to Xaden and Violet, and to further show just how much Andarna is not like other dragons, and therefore able to do shit with the bond.

Xaden's new brother! Xaden starts off describing the new venin by saying,

"and now that my sage has a new sibling he can use against me...I'm screwed." (Yarros, 521)

Then, he goes on to add:

"...my new brother and the unconscious dragon lying in the valley...how could he do this? Choose this after watching me stumble and fall over the last five months. How could he willingly walk the path I've fought like hell to leave? He's the last person I ever would have expected to turn, and yet here we are." (Yarros, 521)

My money's on Bodhi! There's a lot of "brother" mentions surrounding Bodhi, given the repeated descriptions of how similar he and Xaden look. He's "the closest thing (Xaden) has to a brother since Liam." Garrick even thought Theophanie called Bodhi his brother beforehand! It's Bodhi. Further nuance to Bodhi turning is found, in my opinion, in his frustration with Xaden's over-protection at the end of Onyx Storm. This feeling of impotence combined with something potentially happening to Cuir (re: unconcious dragon lying in the valley/Bodhi puking his guts up wherever that quote is) gives him a reason to turn.

I know @skyfallscotland thinks Xaden's new brother is actually Aaric, which is also super intriguing. Specifically, Amy suggested a scenario where Aaric knows he needs to be venin in order to win the war, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get to the future he sees. I do lean more towards Bodhi than Aaric, if only because of the element of knowing for 5 months (which Aaric does not--even if he finds out about Xaden's veninism from his signet, RY has confirmed Aaric didn't manifest in IF, and therefore it cannot have been five months prior to Battle of Draithus), Xaden really seems to care about this new brother. I know he says he has a "complicated sort of loyalty" to Aaric, but I don't think he and Aaric at the friendship level where Aaric can be used against him in the same way Bodhi can. There's also the whole having to give Vi Tyrrendor ordeal. I know some people think Xaden may have had a change of heart and decided to listen to Bodhi in regards to not forcing him to lead Tyrrendor in his stead, and/or Xaden just felt giving Vi the province directly (what a wedding gift!) was the best possible way to protect her. Who knows, not me. I think of Xaden as someone not particularly inclined to listening to people when he doesn't feel like it, but I also know he'll prioritize Vi regardless, so it could go either way.

Slayer! This is just for the one line mention of Berwyn killing the dragons with the alloy dagger. For one thing, I think this draws parallels between the venin and the dragons (which have been a theme the entire series). For another, I think this is how Xaden, Vi, and co. go about killing the dragons and elders in order to get to the eggs. Seems a lot less messy!

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once: Throughout the text, there's a couple mentions of individuals inability to be everywhere all at once. Theophanie, in chapter 60, for example: (from my Kindle copy, so no page numbers, sorryyyy)

"You're just another lightning wielder, mortally incapable of being everywhere at once."

Or, the slightly different take from Mira in Chapter 23:

"Even if he did, we can't be in two places at once."

I have no idea why this got me so bad, but every time I read it, my spidey-senses tingled. I really feel like it means something. Xaden then wraps things up with saying he IS everywhere at once, on page 522 in regards to the veninism amplifying his shadow powers.

Do I know what this means? No! Of course not! At first, I thought it was a papa sorrengail is venin hint, but I don't actually believe in that. I have been holding out hope that perhaps Vi is somehow venin from Lilith (this is why I think papa sorrengail had her dedicated. it doesn't really make sense to me for Rebecca to write her with a real disability, and then have that real disability be a birth defect when it isn't one in real life. that just seems odd?) and I think this COULD be a hint there. Although, as always, who knows.

What is a soul if not love? Some of you may know, I've been getting a wee bit heated about the implications of the corporeal soul. I get a bit gagged by this because it makes no sense. I ask @maethologies probably once a day, what IS a soul? And to that question, I raise you this: what is a soul if not love?

page 523 has this:

""I love you.' Violet's voice cracks the cold, and a silken thread of warmth wedges itself in the opening before it seals shut, locking it in place. No. Wait. I grab for that thread with desperate hands, clawing to keep her as more of my pieces are blown away, lost to the void. She is warmth and light and air and love."

For starters, I think "she is warmth and light and air and love" is my favorite quote from the entire series. It makes me want to cry!!! There's definitely something to the fact that being venin makes Xaden colder, and Violet only seems to get warmer in this book (her lightning being hot enough to blister, for example). But really, my focus here is that he's so aggressively in love with her. I genuinely do not know how people read this line, or the rest of the novel, and somehow thought Xaden was just going to go join up with the venin. Genuinely! I am REALLY not trying to be mean, it just makes no sense to me.

I'm going to go a bit out of order here to further contextualize, but other Xaden Riorson bangers include:

"What even am I? Hers." (Yarros, 524)

And, far earlier in the text, when Courtlyn asks to whom Xaden swears his fealty:

"Violet. (...) My loyalty is to Violet first above everything, everyone else." (this is a Kindle page number because I don't want to find it in my book, LMAO, but it's 326 in that format!)

Again, he's constantly making it as clear as humanly possible that SHE comes first for him. He is not going to spontaneously gain venin loyalty. Whatever soul-fuckery is going on here, it doesn't make him incapable of love. If anything, the presence of love is what is going to continue to save him. In the chapter 48 epigraph, in which a scenario is described wherein a venin returns to their village, desiccating an entire village except for her husband and two children. Clearly, the theme here is that the feeling of love helps venin gain control of themselves when lost to the thrall of power, if you will.

Frankly, there's a LOT of issues with venin as a concept and how willing the fan base is to accept the characterization of the entire "enemy" as evil, soulless, and incapable of feeling and love. Just on the most basic level, think about the real world implications of that ideology for about ten seconds. If you can't do that, think about it in-universe. The entire point of books one and two were that Navarre's government perpetuated a narrative of dehumanization in regards to the Poromish people so that Navarrians could see them as the enemy. This tactic of dehumanization is then DIRECTLY applied to the venin. The narrative on the surface-level is: These people ARE human, but these other guys are the REAL monsters. Please kill THEM instead. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen people say "Violet's never killed anyone in the series, she only kills venin!" The very fact of saying these people aren't human; therefore they can die...do you see what I see? I know I'm a bit more thematically minded than the average romantasy reader, but it's really VERY in your face here.

The most obvious narrative purpose for Xaden choosing to turn is that it gives Violet and the reader a way to humanize the venin, just like working with the gryphon fliers in part two allowed us all to humanize them. After I finished IF, there was not a doubt in my mind that this was where Rebecca was going.

And she went there...a little bit? She's about halfway there, I'd say. Violet has started to internally reconcile with the fact that Xaden being a venin makes it impossible for her to generalize venin any further, but there's definitely still an undercurrent of "he's not like other venin!!" I think this COULD be a logical progression of the story, and, partially, I think it makes sense for it to take a minute for her thought processes to shift. However, I think it needs to be better layered? And I think that when you have a book like this one with such a low barrier to entry, you need to do a bit more thematic hand-holding if you want people to really get things.

Anyway, this was all to say: Xaden loves her, and so, his soul is fine. HE's fine. He's not evil, he didn't marry her just to leave, he's not "team venin". Etc! I could go on about this further, and I think before book 4 I'll be pushed over the edge and do so. But, for now, I do think the direction Rebecca is pushing for is the "cure" being the power of love et. al.

Mommy Issues: We come back to Sgaeyl! I know some people think Sgaeyl breaks the bond with Xaden as part of his 12 hour plan, and again, I ask: literally how.

Basically, unlike his mother, Sgaeyl isn't leaving Xaden. When he breaks through the pulling from the earth haze, he asks Sgaeyl if she forsakes him, and she says:

"'What is there left of you to forsake?' Sgaeyl lowers her head and steam gusts down the canyon, reminding me of the moment she found me in the forest at threshing. (Yarros, 523)

My direct annotation here is : threshing! Threshing = choice. And I'm right! Threshing does equal choice. She has the option to forsake him, and she doesn't! Case closed. I will say, just as a side note, the idea that she'd leave him for being extra venin is wack as hell when he became extra venin for her. I don't think she was that heated about him being venin in the first place: the focus of her ire at the end of IF was that he "picked" Violet. "You cannot! I chose you!/ But Violet chose me too." She's just a pick me dragon at heart.

Quest Squad (Xaden's Version) I touched on this in response to my other ask about the ending, but now we're gonna go beat by beat.

Xaden starts what I call the quest intro by responding to Sgaeyl's threshing part 2 with:

"'You tell me.' I lower the ice and let her in."

Clearly, this is Xaden showing Sgaeyl whatever plan he's been concocting in his head.

Sgaeyl's response:

"Her next breath is laced with sulfur, and her eyes widen. 'You cannot mean to--'"

Now, this is just needlessly vague to make sure we buy the next book. Like we weren't going to anyway. Thank you for extorting me, Red Tower. However, at the very least, it reveals that his plan is, shall we say, problematic? Controversial? Illegal?

Then, we have (from Xaden)

"'You saw what happened. It is the only way.' She glances over her shoulder. 'And you think she'll help?' 'She loves me.' 'Tairn does not, and you haven't looked in a mirror yet. The red veins branching from your eyes look like her lightning.' 'She'll help.' It comes out with a hell of a lot more certainty than I feel. 'She promised.'"

Line by line time!

"it is the only way" is mad interesting from Xaden "the right way isn't the only way" Riorson. It could just be the influence of being venin on his psyche---everything feels more serious now, and he himself is more intense. But it's such an interesting switch, especially since Violet's assumed his way of thinking from FW.

At first I thought the pronoun fuckery in SHE'll help/SHE loves me was meant to indicate that the she in question was not actually Violet, but I don't think so anymore. I do think it's intentionally misleading! Again, for the money. But, more than that, I think Sgaeyl is glancing over her shoulder AT Violet and Tairn to indicate who they're yapping about.

Now, how will she help? I think this is a separate quandary than the marriage (hence where I broke up the text). Personally, I think this is him saying Vi goes with him to get the eggs/kill the dragons/etc.

The veins branching from his eyes are intriguing. I know he says he's no longer an initiate on this page, but I don't think he's an Asim either? According to Mr. Drake Cordella's venin compendium, Asim's veins distend only when riled, but Sage's veins are perpetually distended. (Iron Flame chapter 47 epigraph). I guess we'll see? I don't know, it would make sense to me if he was a sage, but who knows.

And, finally, what the hell did she promise?

WAY earlier on in the book, Xaden says:

"Swear you'll sound the alarm if I go too far, that you'll keep it safe, even if it's from me." (Yarros, 58)

This is what I think he's referring to! I know @hockeyspiral23 thinks the 'it' in question is actually the sword of Tyrrendor (correct me if I'm wrong!!) and not Tyrrendor itself. I definitely think there's something to that theory.

A few pages later, Xaden says:

"I'll use Tyrrendor to protect you, not you to protect Tyrrendor." (Yarros, 102)

Not to be a broken record, but again: Intentionally! Misleading! Content! I think you're SUPPOSED to interpret the promise as Violet saying she'll protect Tyrrendor from Xaden, and Xaden saying he's "gone too far". But when you actually look at the text, there's no way that's what he's saying. First of all, why would Sgaeyl think THAT plan wouldn't work with Tairn? Tairn does NOT fuck with Xaden right now. And then, why would Xaden Riorson, president and CEO of the Violet Sorrengail fan club, prioritize Tyrrendor over Violet? He cares about Tyrrendor, sure, but in the face of VIOLET? It doesn't compare. It just doesn't! ("I love you more than this city. Do not die defending it.") He's not winning any king of the year awards with those priorities, but that doesn't make it any less true. I basically already have a post ranting about this, (here! If you're curious) so I'm going to cut myself off here. Basically, we have to remember who Xaden actually is when we try to contextualize this vague ass chapter.

And then, wedding bells!

"'Even if she agrees, no one will--'

'Someone owes me a favor.'" (Yarros, 524)

This is the part of the quest that I think is more directly the marriage issue. This has already been covered elsewhere, but the Priestess from Dunne's temple says she owes Xaden a favor earlier on. She goes on to officiate their marriage. I just think the wording makes it clear that this is a multi-step plan. (How can Violet "help" with her own marriage?)

I already quoted the absolute banger "What even am I? Hers." But I'm going to bring it up again! His loyalty, primarily, is to Violet. Whatever quest he's going on, it's FOR HER. He steals the eggs FOR HER. He''s taking them somewhere FOR HER. I don't know how to make that any clearer, but if I keep seeing people misinterpret it, I'll probably try again.

Agency!

The final bit I'm going to pull is Sgaeyl saying:

"And her decision will determine our fate." (Yarros, 524).

I think this just really succinctly makes clear my 573938503 argument above. Violet gets final say on Quest Squad (Xaden's Version) but whatever he does do, he's doing it with Sgaeyl. I know there's some good bits Rebecca's said throughout the tour that support this interpretation, but I don't think I need them quite yet. Maybe next time!

For now, that's all. I'll see y'all back here with Violet's chapter in a bit!

[teddybeartoji]

hmmmmm mickey x dazai?

OKAY SO SO SO !!!!!!!! i one hundred percent see why you'd say that it's mizai BUT the thing is............................... we're both the husband😭😭😭😭 we need chuuya to be our wife....... if we beg enough... maybe he'll agree to do it.................

[averycutesalamander]

so after boots, what other hsr characters do you like?

hm. well. hmmmm. ahhh.. uhhhhhhhhhhh

[oceans-beloved]

Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️

(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)