#like havent i had enough 😭
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I would like to be done suffering
#personal#i know that life is suffering#but i would like for mine to stop being that#im so tired#pls i just want to stop struggling#like havent i had enough 😭#i literally work from 7am to 11pm today and i barely pay my bills :)#and i have a degree 😭😭#that im in debt from and wont pay off for another 10-15 years#i miss beimg able to go out to eat and being able to come home and not have work still#i miss my friends and family too#like damn shit just sucks so hard#and to top it all off im living in the devil's asshole#Phoenix is probably the shittiest place in all of the US straight up#like yehaw there’s pretty mountains but you cant hike them bc you will die#from scorpions snakes or the weather just stay inside and cry#and the sun is going to make me look 10 years older than i am if i stay here much longer#i already see it#someone save me 😭😭😭😭 im done playing adult shit is bad!!
1 note
·
View note
Text
Some Discord doodles
#svsss#luo binghe#shang qinghua#mobei jun#bingqiu#shen Qingqiu#liu mingyan#tianlang jun#liu qingge#zhuzhi lang#shen yuan#mdzs#lan wangji#lan zhan#lan sizhui#ya its more svsss then anything but im obsessed with svsss ok#sorry to the ONE lan zhan and ONE lan sizhui#NFNCNFNC BUT i had a blast drawing all these since for some i havent drawn before or havent drawn ENOUGH like zhuzi lang 😭#my art#nibbelraz
930 notes
·
View notes
Text
saw this image on Pinterest and the pose gave me such riker vibes that I just HAD to draw it as him and troi HEHEHE
#churro art#my art#digital art#illustration#fanart#star trek#star trek tng#star trek the next generation#william t riker#william riker#deanna troi#AHAAAAAA OKAY PLS DONT SEND ME TO TREKKIE JAIL I HAVENT HAD A CHANCE TO PROPERLY START TNG YEET 😭😭😭#but I do know… I DO KNOW . I love troi so MUCH#I actually started this image drawing her and doodle her a lot on paper in my first week back to uni#but omg I struggled so much with riker here and for why BJBJCBSDJHDSBJ#he literally had like 60 different hairstyle changes during the Lineart phase like it was that bad#it just didn’t look like him but in the end I think I’m close enough 😭😭😭#ANYWAYS This is this weeks uni drawing … the type of drawing I do in my free time on campus :P#I LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH!! I was kickin my feet n giggling. like a madman#i should really draw the tos crew w these full eyes too but I always love drawing them with the simple dot eyes more HAHAHA#also little authors note. wow did that reference give me a hard time#those are some LOOONG limbs boy . Riker almost ended up looking like slenderman DAMN
269 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rereading the Mysqueery Gang and like. Who let me post this. Worst writing I've ever done like heck I'm so sorry to all my readers i should have been better 😭 these kids deserve a better story
#cringing so bad like oof#good ideas! good concepts! terrible execution#this is why i havent continued it from where i left off#if im ever to pick this project back up#i would need to redraw and rewrite the whole thing#at the end of the day i was 18 😭 my brain was NOT developed enough#the dialogues....... they are so flat like kdjfkshdisbfjdhsibdjdbc#I have to trust my writing is better now 😭😭😭😭 because BOOOOOOOOO#anyways once more im so sorry to all the people who were readers im so very thankful for you all#one day!!! one day theyll live again#and ill put them through so much you will no recognize them#ive had the time to listen to tma since then ok#also i made them swear so much#its because thats how i speak 😔 ive got a nasty mouth sorry#the story is still the same in my mind tho like i still have the ending ready
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
a little bit sad @ myself :(
#working on a paper w someone and shes first author so ofc shes doing quite a lot of work and she deserves it absolutely#the 2nd author is a friend i respect deeply and she basically was like. expecting me to do most of the code/data analysis#this friend also gave the first author the first author-ship (she was going to be first auth originally) but when me and the first auth wor#together she sort of takes the coding over entirely and she just said shes gathering the code we need and then were going to hop on a call#like#oh i was under the impression we are doing this tgth whats the point of me being here if we are just using ur code...i feel so useless 😭#good on her + im proud of her but i also wish i had the chance to do more yk. idk#i feel like i havent done enough...yay first publication...
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
if you draw enough monster ocs, when you go back to drawing a human character, it feels like "sameface syndrome" everytime, by virtue of their face being. human.
#toy txt post#or maybe i am just sameface syndrome#but also different face syndrome#two characters will have the same face but then the next time i draw those characters its a different face than they had last time!#i know part of it is being out of practice but also there is definitely an element of feeling constrained by human facial structure lmao#the monsters have Their Own Problems but like. no one has a face like bokrae no matter how inconsistent i am about drawing her#her features are iconic enough to her that you can tell everytime#birdie???? i faceclaimed eartha kitt for her and im still struggling cos i feel weird about faceclaiming as a concept#but even then 😭 one time i was trying to give headloose a face and someone was like wow he looks like birdie!#me 😭😭😭😭😭 what!!!!!! hes not supposed to!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i need to practice. features#you know the worst part about coming up w a bunch of fuckin Scenarios in my brain for ocs is that i have even fucking Drawn them yet#to give them like. iconic staple features and figure out what their faces look like. which feels like it would really help to have that#knowledge and muscle memory before i jump into trying to draw intense scenes with difficult poses!!#not to mention. listen. i can do the monster faces. somewhat. the bodies??????????? well for one. theyre too big everytime#im convinced i could be trying to draw bokrae on like a full ass wall size paper like a mural thing and run out of room. it just keeps#happening. i have no sense of scale for them either. by which i mean i struggle w scale already and also cant decide what i want it to be#and ive tried to handwave it away by being like ohhh uh. birdie casts spells on them to change their sizes for convenience but also#no. perhaps that explanation works for other ppl. @ myself tho its not good enough i Know Better!!!!!!#agh!!!!!!! i really need to figure out bokrae's Teeth also. like i dont. i coukd get away with it. but i should. and i want to.#anyway all this to say that i need to give these characters faces and body designs (actually the body designs for humanoid ocs is the easy#part. the faces are whats stumping me? well. i need more practice w all the body types again but like i Know what im Going For at least.#for the most part anyway. havent fully figured out heights. struggling w characters that i want to make short but give imposing tall energy#on occasion? birdie can be short all day long no problem. I want Alasdair to be short enough that he has a bunch of short boyfriends that#feel tall around him? bytte was going to be like 6ft max but then i thought about making her taller and like. what if i made her taller#headloose is not that /short/ but he is Not Tall and prolly pretty lean? twink build for sure#and of course all these short /tall distinctions come with a bias of relativity to my own height which i categorize as medium height#but short ppl call me tall and insist its not average and tall ppl call me short. (5'6) and then i have to factor in how the gender changes#the dynamic of a height like my height is Short For A Man but medium to tall for a Woman. which id argue is medium height bc mens heights#are socially held to high standards (hehe) and also i know ethnicity/race is also a factor? but im out of tags. rip. bye
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU
#rambling#surprisingly this is not about jakob.. im just really consistent about my favorite character archetypes 😭😭#WARNING THE NOTES ON THIS ARE REALLY LONG I STARTED RAMBLING#“ouhh i have a headache i'll just lie down and rotate my blorbos in no general direction for a while until it goes away” and then boom.#serious plot considerations. 2 questions answered 24million new questions raised. this is specifically Not what i asked for.#so now im sitting here STILL dizzy running mental calculations on how i can get this bitch out of peril without reworking everything#but they literally keep dying in every timeline 😭😭 every single plausible road leads to them running off and screwing themself over#“character who doesn't realize they want to live until it's way too late to look back” VS#“character who is forced to live and handle the things they never though they'd survive long enough to deal with” FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT.#fucking hell i have never had this much trouble writing a character as i have with them#they genuinely do just run off and do shit without my permission and then i have to pace for an hour or two wondering#“ok they wOULD do that. but should they. do i feel like i can confidently write that.”#im like constantly in this tug of war trying to get them to CHILL#but also they are absolutely my favorite character from the entire project. but like. FUCK GET BACK HERE#is death the most satisfying end to this arc? is someone who was Set on dying then NOT dying the most satisfying end to the arc?#how many bridges can you burn until you irreparably set yourself aflame too?#would ghost or revival plotline work?? would it make sense with the worldbuilding??#do i just Like Them enough to want them to not die?? where do i draw the line between personal bias and a good arc?#is death not feeling as impactful as survival solely because i've been writing for so long that it's lost the initial impact?#and other such plot considerations...#im gonna have such an easy time writing another character though 😭😭 because THAT character's dynamic in the second act#is to stare at character 1 and be like “why are you like this. i mean i know Why but can you chill. please.” and like damn bro me too#actually wait no i think kaey.a is the hardest character i've ever written i take it back#had to worry about his 20million facades AND his Actual feelings AND canon compliance. shit is hard#i still havent finished the k/aeya fic i started back when the chasm first released which is uhh. two years ago. oops.#i think i struggle writing emotionally repressed liars i think thats what this is 😭😭 anyways.#(voice of guy who has been obsessed with nonlinear narratives and tragedies for several years):#“is it too much to kill this character in a nonlinear exploration game with tragic elements”#like bitch what are you talking about 😭😭 YOU'RE the target audience here figure it out#sorry the notes on this are just my writing journal now apparently
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi yall! It's 1am and I'm still sick 🤧 (at the tail end of it tho!) And just letting u know thanks to the sheer amount of self vs self insert memes I got tagged in I'm gonna throw em all in a queue to post a few times during the day!
They'll be tagged as both 's/i meme' and 'queue queue kachoo' in case u don't wanna see em
Ok that's all ily guys byee 💖🫶💖
#jane journals#ive felt like straight ASS the last few days 😭😭#today i felt well enough to do dishes and get the calendar going#my partner and i have a dry erase calendar and i set it up for feburary#but im still coughing like crazy and theres...goo#so i havent had much energy to do stuff#but im considering implementing a queue system for f/o rbs too like fanart and gifs and stuff!!#inspired by my lovely partner 💖💖#so uhhh yeah#be prepared for that potentially?#the memes for sure
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
That was straight up wildest doc appointment I've ever had, get this- he listened to me when I spoke, asked pertinent questions, was sympathetic AND helpful. Did you guys know this was a possibility? Did you know doctors could actually do their job without making it painful??
#im being dramatic i havent had that many bad doctors#more just...... indifferent ones who need you to come back 7 times before they help you#also prescribed me strong pain killers for my migraine?@??@?@ like theres only 4 tablets per prescription bc they dont like handing it out#willy nilly which fair enough but other than goin on one medication years ago that didnt help ive never been given anything to help my#migraines bar these horrible wafer things you put under your tongue#like im actually shocked 😭#and he was pretty young and british so not necessarily the doctor id expect to to me but i was wrong
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh tonights going to be fucking miserable
#no matter what i do i cant get comfortable theres always something digging into me or not sitting right#its too quiet so i put my fan on but the /droning/ was genuinely doing my head in i thought i was going to snap so i had to turn it off#so now its STILL too quiet#im itchy and in pain and my nose is blocked#and i am. so fucking tired. i havent had a proper solid nights sleep in like 4 days#how was i more comfortable on my sisters couch last night than i am right now in my own bed#i just want to sleep 😭😭 pls dont me and sleep have enough issues cmere bbygirl i miss you-#captain speaks
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
So funny that i find myself w less and less new music to discover compared to what i was finding in my teen years, and i am like 98% sure its bc i havent watched frag videos or amvs in over a decade 😭
#chattin#like nearly 60% of my songs are from my ipod.#my IPOD#hundreds of songs i found from watching High Art from before 2012#i have songs from last fm that literally do not exist ANYWHERE anymore. like i gotta make an effort to upload some of these for ppl#whereas most of my newly discovered songs are from artists i found prior to 2012 (and theyre still making music)#artists adjacent to THOSE artists#video game music#and artists related to that music#so im not like. exposed to completely mew and untethered music yanno?#mew……i meant NEW 😭#that one insane uno video had a really REALLY good song and i have no idea if it was made for the video or if it exists on ytube or bandcamp#and i absolutely count that as an amv lmao#i think its bc i dont play games that would make for good frags anymore like ovw and halo#and i dont watch anime anymore so i havent tried to watch amvs#like. there was a really good mp100 one but i wasnt invested enough to look for more 😭#maybe i should ask my sister for some jjk amvs….theres lots of fighting in that one right? i think that would help#u have no idea what people deem a good song for amvs and thats what makes them so fun; i love knowing what people listen to#oh i just realized; i think i am showing my age; do ppl even call it frags anymore???#is it an amv or a fancam?? or something else…i also dont use tiktok so im unsure of the terms there too…
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
how deal with taidan
#^ crying over saki for the second night in a row#i am Not Okay about the fact her taidan is exactly a year after her pb footage aired on sky stage#bc that was the very last thing where i was like ok yeah maybe saki IS my second fave of all time#feels weird to call her my second fave#shes like basically on par w aasa 😭 idk how else to word itjfhd#idk not the point i am just emotional and sad and will miss her dearly#but also wishing her luck in whatever she decides to do next whether that be in the public eye or not#also just feel so sad about how busy ive been recently 😭😭#was planning on going back and watching all her shinkos and leads that i havent watched yet before the 13th but uni hit me like a truck#and i have not have time 😔#have not had *#sorry if you are reading this 🙏 it is not coherent 🙏🙏 fjdhdjd#idk i was torn up enough over kiwa and this is about to be 4000x worse sofhdhdjd#did watch every sakigumi show in order a while ago w my gf and that was nice at least#idk man im excited for aasas run im sure itll be great im just so not ready to say bye to sakigumi#god if youd have told me when i first got into zuka i would be this torn up over saki leaving i would not have believed you#but here we are#at no point was i expecting to get This Attached to saki but it just kind of happened#aasas fault whatever#fjhdjdhd#sorry none of fhis is coherent i do not know how to organise or articulate my thoughts#idk i love s4kiaasa so much#getting to watch them together both on and off stage for the last two and a half years ish since i got into zuka has meant so much to me#i hope they both continue to thrive and i look forward to seeing what they do next
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
I've been going through your Omaegorverse AU, and I was wondering if you had anymore thoughts about it? It's just such a fascinating targ tale. It's like a gothic satire 2 me
oh kisses to you sweet baby😭🫶 i absolutely have thoughts on it i stopped posting them because it was getting too cringe and insane and no one is here for my sixth generation of maegor bloodline incest targ OCs ;_; i like maegor because to me he represents house targaryen stripped of pretence. every targ commited horrific atrocities or poisoned westeros but they kept up the myth of valyrian supremacy, of monarchy, of divine right, of hierarchy, to legitimise and excuse their actions. how are rhaenyra's cruelties any worse than any other targ king's evils? aegon i and daeron i and waged Manifesteros Destiny, the dance targs went just absolutely ape mode but maegor is considered the worst of the worst cos he was unapologetic about it. jaehaerys went awwww come on 🥺 my incest is okay guys 🥺 we're ethnically superior we dont get sick (daughter immediately dies of being sick) while maegor went okay argue with my sword. chad maegor virgin jaehaerys.
so i like having fun in my sandbox AU where instead of the jaehaerys moral reset there's just murder and murder and incest and murder no apologies never apologise just make it worse 😜
#im gonna haul it soon. havent committed to the jokerfication of westeros enough. i've mostly stuck to regular laws of inheritance#but i think a maegortarg bloodline would be more like. Ok im gonna give you all swords and whoevers still alive in a week gets to be king#they would have more murderous as opposed to incestuous relationships. instead of all being stuck together youd be groomed to hate#your siblings and want them dead#au:omaegorverse#i should purge all my omaegorverse stuff its so cringe 😭 it caters to me myself and i....#ask#anonymous#anon i love u for taking me seriously and liking my bizarre BS but im so sorry you had to read it 😭 ily ily ily
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
if i was in olden england, the way ive gotten more migraines in the ten days ive been here than in six months back in mtl would be grounds to send me to the seaside for my health and humours
#the first two were fair enough (i think. i don't even really remember the causes anymore) but this one is fucked#like i got it at NIGHT? thats bizarre. and it lasted through one solid painkiller and ten hours of sleep. so what gives#at least theres no photosensitivity anymore and no nausea yay#<- unironically huge Ws#but why is it Still here....i didnt even do anything to cause it 😭#the main reasons i get migraines is not eating/drinking enough or my neck/shoulders being fucked up#but ive been eating the same shit all week so id have to be getting headaches daily which i havent been#and i havent had any neck pain + im back to working out properly#well whatever itll resolve or itll stay and ill figure it out then! im just kind of bummed i wasted half my alone time day on being in bed
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
how many new follower stickers do you have to do at the time of me asking? i admire the dedication and personalization of each one!
Thank you so much! I'm glad y'all appreciate them, they're super fun to do :] And at the time of you asking? Oh gosh golly XD. I have 7 prepped and ready in the queue and 14 more I need to investigate/pick out right now.
#If I didn't have my Halloween queue I'd probably be queuing two a day just to get them out faster#But I think 2 og posts a day is enough xD#Because i post them in order too I tend to get Stuck on certain blogs#and even if ive picked out some later ones I can't actually. Add to queue until I figure out the missing one 😭#I'll figure it out tho I always do 😌#alSO I KNOW I HAVE SOME OTHER ASKS RN BUT I HAVENT HAS TIME TO LOOK THROUGH MY COLLECTION LATELY#I SEE U AND I LOVE U AND THANKING YOU FOR SENDING ASKS I THINK ABOUT ANSWERING LIKE 24/7#I want to try and answer them this weekend but. A H. Human responsibilities#We'll see 👍 together#Not stickers#Asks my beloved#anonymous#Anon#It brings me so much joy that yall like the nfs seriously thank u :]#I had a massive influx of new followers from my Mrs. Grossman's anniversary bear stickers and I haven't caught up yet xD#Plus I've posted some other decently popular stickers since then (Winnie the pooh stickers break the bank every time I swear...)#I don't normally have this many to do I swear XD
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
man you overwater a cactus ONCE and it’s game over huh.
#just my life#ive had this fucker for like 2 years now and havent overwatered it once the whole time#shes dehydrated af but that was fine#NOW though in the past week the whole bottoms gone mushy. i watered it ONCE#the soil just didnt dry quick enough😭
2 notes
·
View notes