#like hate to break it to you but they. actually did a lot of things to capitalise off it i’m afraid
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Thoughts and prayers rants...
So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.
But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.
Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.
Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.
That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?
At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.
Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.
For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.
You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.
Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.
Again:
We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.
#we fell in love with tommy because he made buck fall in love with evan#bucktommy#tevan#tommy kinard#evan buckley#911 abc#the writing on this episode was complete ass as far as this was concerned#honestly#911 discourse#also stay the fuck out of our tags if you dont like what were saying
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art & patrick at mark rebellato academy
[headcanons]
notes: i really enjoyed writing this because i just genuinely adore these characters and this movie so much. there's so many interesting little details and nuances there that i could just talk about forever and ever. i truly hope i did them justice here lol (also writing this made me jealous of people that are good at writing character analysis' and thinkpieces bc wow it is hard!) but yeah enjoy!
wordcount: 3.4k
they met at age 12 during their first day at the mark rebellato academy in their now shared room.
when art came in with a duffel bag (that looked comically big next to his scrawny kid body) patrick was already sitting on the bed he had claimed(the right side next to the door) all by himself, his parents didn't have a very tearful nor long goodbye as they sent their son off to boarding school.
in contrast art’s mom and grandma seemed keen to embarrass him in front of his new roommate with their cooing and hugging him goodbye.
it wasn't even like his mom and him were really all that close though. she just seemed to want to squeeze in all the moments of a loving mother-son relationship into the small segments of time she actually spent with him.
the goodbye hug and small ruffle of his hair from his grandma felt a little more genuine. embarrassing all the same as he could feel the other dark haired boy try not to crack up at the display.
"mom. please." he pleaded with her as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "i’m sorry, artie, but i need to make up for all the time i'm gonna miss with you!" yeah, he bets.
a few minutes later and a tear or two from his mother they did finally leave him be. as soon as he heard the door shut though, the awkward silence enveloping the room almost made him miss them.
he threw his duffel bag on the left bed and sat down on the edge. he fidgeted with his bottom lip, a nervous habit he's had for as long as he could remember.
the brunette boy shifted on the bed so he was now facing him. his mouth pulled into a toothy grin "so you're...artie?"
art groaned and hid his head in his hands, slumped over his knees. "no, that's..just my moms nickname for me. sorry you had to see that." he says in a squeaky broken voice which didn't help the embarrassment he was already feeling.
the other boy just brushed right past all that and said "i’m patrick." and then as an afterthought, "zweig."
"uh." art leaned back up, still avoiding his gaze. it was weirdly intense. "yeah, i’m..art. um, donaldson." he said the last part like it was a question almost.
patrick began to swing his legs a little. it was clear to him that art was the quiet type even if they had just exchanged a few words so far, but luckily patrick didn't mind talking. it was something his father always hated about him. he almost talked enough for both of them which after a little while finally seemed to break the ice of art's shy exterior.
art didnt know what he thought about patrick yet. he was pretty..confident that was for sure. even a little arrogant, maybe. art scolded himself internally for being so judgemental. it was quality he hated about himself, but seemingly couldn’t get rid of.
despite all of that he had to admit that patrick was easy to talk to. there was never an uncomfortable gap in conversation with him. which art liked since those kinds of things made him want to crawl out of his skin sometimes.
that first night he spent staying up with patrick, slowly realizing how much they had in common while simultaneously being complete opposites, is one of his fondest memories and probably always will be. he never experienced another connection that felt anything even close to that.
their room wasn't too small but with the way patrick would just constantly toss his clothes wherever he pleased it seemed a lot smaller.
it's not like art was insanely neat or anything, he was still a teenage boy. patrick was just exceptionally messy.
"patrick, this shit is so gross, i told you to use the hamper."
patrick groaned, "youre such a neatfreak, fuck off."
at that response a pair of dirty boxers were thrown at his head, courtesy of art. "i don't want to see or smell your worn underwear. that doesn't make me a neatfreak."
patrick just tossed it back in art’s direction, to which the blonde quickly scurried out of the way to dodge it like his life depended on it.
"you know if tennis doesn't work out for you, you'll make a good housewife." patrick grinned mockingly.
“ha-ha.” art just rolled his eyes, stuck up his middle finger and let the door slam behind him with his racket bag slung over his shoulder.
trying to get patrick to do anything was like trying to teach a cat to do a trick without any treats. borderline impossible. so by age 15 art finally gave up.
...until he realized a year later that patrick would clean his side of the room whenever they had a girl over so..
yeah, sometimes he did lie and tell patrick that a girl was coming over just so he would clean his side of the room.
you can judge him all you want but you never had to room with patrick zweig
and after the third time that trick stopped working anyway. art was never a good liar. or maybe patrick could just call his bullshit way too easily.
they didn't fight too often, it was more like they constantly got into little tiffs
except for that time where it got so out of hand that they duct-taped a line dividing their rooms into two sides. (i know this is giving sitcom i'm sorry but tell me i'm wrong)
eventually they kind of forgot what they even fought about in the first place but they were too lazy to take the tape off of the carpet, so it just stayed on there for like 2 years till it peeled off.
like i mentioned in my other post these two were BITCHES
they would def talk shit all the time. they were not even trying to be secret about it tbh. (see: them staring at anna crying at tashi's party)
they sat in the bleachers watching one of their classmates play a practice match
“dude, look at that forehand. it sucks.” art muttered. patrick nodded, “i know. no way she’ll even make it through the semester.” “i’ll be surprised if she makes it through this match without fracturing her wrist.” patrick snickered at art’s comment.
actual mean girls LMAO
and to be fair, they were fucking amazing at tennis, especially when they played together
so it's not like anyone could necessarily insult them back
but it also wasn't bullying or anything
they were just judgy and loved to talk shit
art had some decorum about it or felt bad about it sometimes. not patrick though.
man has no shame. never did. as art so lovingly puts it “the part of his brain that feels shame withered away a long time ago.”
art wore glasses from ages 12 till 14
he then switched to contact lenses because patrick said girls dont like guys with glasses and that they make him look nerdy
they weren't allowed to have any sort of electronics like computers or flip phones at the academy. not even mp3 players.
now obviously patrick completely ignored that rule. he had like three flip phones under his bed in case his actual one ever got taken (it did)
he also smuggled in 2 mp3 players (one was for art, patrick is so kind… he did charge him 4 dollars for it though. that rich asshole. lmao)
honestly i would like to insert here what i think they would have listened to but..i was like..a baby when they wouldve been at the academy so..feel free to drop your music headcanons in the reblogs or comments
they were only allowed one weekly call to their families from the communal landline.
neither patrick nor art were very fond of these calls so even though they weren't supposed to they would always go into the phone room together.
patricks mother always insisted on speaking in german with her son. he thought she only did it because it made her feel more connected to his father’s side of the family. not like it would fix their fucked up marriage though.
“nein, mama, ich habe mein deutsch nicht vergessen.” (no, mom, i havent forgotten my german) he sighs. art sits on the floor next to him and flicks a rubber band at him. “ja, verstanden. ja, ich weiß.” (yes, understood. yes, i know.) he rolls his eyes.
art understood a few of the basic words since patrick taught him some german after art asked how to correctly pronounce his last name.
“..bis nächste woche. tschüss.” (talk to you next week. bye.) he hung up. his mom said i love you but he knew she didn't mean it so he didn't say it back.
patrick groaned and stretched out his legs that were seemingly getting longer by the day (art secretly prayed for a growth spurt that would make him taller than patrick. right now he was still pretty short for a guy his age.)
he handed the phone to art. “she always talks so much. it's like i'm not even on the other line.” patrick scowls. art just nodded. he knew that by now.
art called his grandma but his dad picked up instead. it was okay. talking to his dad felt a little like talking to some distant uncle that he only saw once a year, “how's it going, champ?” “good.” “great.” that kinda stuff
the phone call lasted 5 minutes. he stood up and hung the phone back on the receiver.
“wanna smoke?” patrick asked already reaching for the two loose cigarettes stuffed into his jean shorts pocket.
art nodded. he didn't really like smoking, and he kind of only did it because patrick did. and whenever he did, all he could think about was how bad for him it was.
he was always pretty conscious about that kinda stuff, it was a little drilled into him by his dad who was the most adamant about art becoming a tennis player since he used to be one when he was younger.
so sugar and fats (basically anything that tasted good) were pretty much banned in the donaldson household
which kind of resulted in art subconsciously believing that anything that brought him joy or pleasure must be inherently bad for him or followed by a feeling of guilt and shame to make up for it.
needless to say art wasn't the best at indulging. he was a little jealous of how patrick never seemed to have any issue with that sort of thing.
patrick didn't care about maintaining a good diet or depriving himself of life's pleasures for the sake of tennis. he took what he wanted like life owed it to him.
maybe that's why he smoked with patrick. to try and be more like him?
also because it gave him a nice sense of rebellion.
most things he did with patrick gave him that feeling.
at the academy they were the definition of ‘not sold separately’
if you saw one the other wasn't far behind
its not like they didn't have other friends. they did. they were pretty popular actually
but none of those friendships were anything like what art and patrick had.
especially when playing doubles.
it felt like they could communicate telepathically
patrick knew when art was going for the ball before the other team even served and vice versa.
tennis felt different when they were playing together. better.
and it felt so easy, it felt like nothing they needed to work on. their friendship was the same. it was so easy, so natural.
after about a year or so of being friends they started being in sync. literally.
they cross their legs at the same time, they pick up their rackets at the same time, they adjust their forehand grip at the same time, they walk at the same pace, they sit down the same etc etc you get it
also that isn't really a headcanon, like this is canon in the movie. and it makes me SICK that they were still in sync in 2019. after not talking for 12 years. shut up that’s some soulmate shit
now let's talk about something else that is canon…the pushed together beds.
yes!
now, i think patrick is a person that is pretty open with his body in general in terms of like being physically affectionate. or just being physical.
i don't know if art is, i think he's a little more reserved. (repressed if you will! i will!)
but patrick touching him so casually does fill a little tiny (gaping) void in him that yearns for touch.
he is a professional yearner as we all know
and patrick never had an issue satisfying those yearnings for him. (i think we saw that in the fact that patrick taught art how to jerk off ok next topic)
patrick would sling his arm around his shoulder, lay his long legs over arts lap, ruffle arts curls (“stop that, you're messing them up.” “no, i'm not they always look like this”),he would barge into their room after practice flopping his tall sweaty body on top of art to annoy him.
they were very physically affectionate it was just all under the guise of shoving and tripping each other and just general teenage boy roughhousing shenanigans. that counts as a love language to me ok!
art got used to patrick touching him very quick and even reciprocated sometimes
also i do think that sometimes patrick would smack art’s ass as a joke. lol. (that's inspired by that video of the two doubles players doing that…do you guys know what i’m talking about)
OK SO!
the beds.
they were 16. patrick suggested it. “these beds are too fucking small.” he complained, laying on his staring at the smoke detector that he had covered with a shower cap so it wouldnt detect the smoke from his cigarettes.
and to be fair…yeah. patrick stood at 1,80 cm right now and his feet were hanging over the edge of the bed.
art looked up from his book which he was only reading to impress a girl he had a crush on. patrick had told him to just pretend he read it but art said that was disingenuous and he wanted to know what she liked and why she liked it.
“you know what we should do? we should push our beds together.” patrick sat up, grinning like he just had the best idea ever.
arts features twisted up in thought. “isn't that a little close?”
“nah, why, we still have our own beds. just more space.” patrick shrugged.
he glanced at their beds. “uhhh…i guess we can do that. the beds are a little cramped. although is that even allowed?” art began fidgeting with his lip like he usually did when he was in thought.
but patrick was already in the process of shoving his bed next to arts after which he let himself fall onto the two beds in a starfish position, with his gangly limbs almost stretching to every corner of the beds. “oh. great. and i’ll just curl up at the foot of the bed then?” art gave patrick a deadpan stare.
“up to you.” patrick grinned in that specific way that really irked art.
patrick did make some space for him once they actually went to sleep that night
even now they were two opposites making a whole
patrick always ran cold so he hogged all the blankets and art always ran hot so he immediately kicked them off of him as soon as he fell asleep
that only made this new pushed together beds thing even better for patrick because he now got to have his own blanket AND steal arts every night
i wouldn't say they cuddled necessarily? i think it was more just like the regular amount of physical touching that happens when you sleep in the same bed
which is still pretty intimate to me idk about you guys
like their legs kind of thrown over each others, art’s arm occasionally draped over patricks chest (or literally on his face. art denies every time that he does it on purpose but patrick KNOWS he does it to annoy him. he knows.)
one time art had a nightmare of being trapped under a rock only to wake up and find out that somehow patrick had rolled over in the middle of the night and was now laying COMPLETELY on top of art. right before he was about to push him off (because he was making art actively suffocate) patrick rolled over again and fell out of bed. he didn't even wake up from that. genuinely just slept on the floor that night. freak of nature that guy.
also patrick for sure twitches like a dog in his sleep
and i think it used to wake art up because he's a pretty light sleeper but eventually he just got used to it lol
when art went to stanford he never finished the last bite of anything he ate because he was so used to patrick being next to him and just stealing the last bite.
patrick really really wanted to get his ears pierced when he was 15.
so naturally he asked art to do it for him.
you know…like how they did it in the parent trap. which if you asked them is a movie that they definitely haven't seen. ( but they did see it and art cried at the twins reuniting with their parents, oops.)
unfortunately for patrick art was very very squeamish with needles at that age (i think that mellowed down the older he got but he still refused to look whenever he got vaccinations or anything like that.)
so now it was midnight, they were in their room sitting on the floor and arguing
“dude, just do it, stop being such a wuss. you're not even the one getting pierced.” patrick groaned, he had numbed his earlobe with ice but he could already feel a little bit of the feeling return to it, that's how long they had been sitting there with art squirming around because he hated even looking at the sewing needle.
“that's worse though because i have to look at the needle going in your ear!” art argued
“ well, i can't do it myself.” patrick replied.
...
“are you wearing my shirt?” art squinted at him
“stop trying to change the subject.”
“i told you to stop stealing my clothes. i don't want to do laundry that often.”
“can you focus?” patrick groaned
“dude.. okay, fine. just give me a second.” art took a deep breath.
“oh. my god. you're not performing open heart surgery.”
“shut the fuck up.”
“you shut the fuck up.”
and what do you know that response got art to get over his fear of needles for a second and stab that thing right through his best friends ear
the little high pitched yelp patrick let out in surprise at that is something art didn't let him forget about for like two weeks after
it took about another hour for art to pierce patricks second ear and eventually they managed but then like a week later patrick forgot to put his earrings in and the piercings immediately grew shut
so all that drama was for nothing!
i think art has always kind of been the type of guy to want domesticity.
i already posted about this somewhere but i kind of came to that conclusion because patrick said “he wants to spend time with his family” to tashi in the alley scene
patrick hadn’t spoken to art for like a decade at that point
and you could say it's a good guess but NO!
patrick knows art like the back of his hand and patrick knows that art has always wanted a family and how much it probably kills him to miss out on time with them due to his career at that point in time (also just throwing this out there i think art always wanted to have a daughter more than a son, like that just makes sense to me. maybe bc i think his own relationship with his dad is so distant? idk!)
so yeah
also the sauna scene where patrick says that marriage isn't what he was for
(to me) also implies that he is the opposite of art who was meant for marriage
anyway do i think that art shared his wishes for a family and marriage in the future with patrick? yes
do i think patrick jokingly made art promise to make him his best man? yeah
and furthermore do i think about the fact that patrick then had to read about arts wedding in some tabloid years later? yep!
i’m sure i could think of more in the future but that's all i've got for now! i hope this was coherent enough to enjoy because it’s not as proofread as my fics usually are lol! i just wanted to get these thoughts out there
if some of these seem familiar it might be because i took some of these from my twt!
i also have some more headcanons floating around on my tumblr that i didn't include here if you want to find those, or not, i'm not your mom!
#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig#artrick#challengers fanfic#challengers headcanons#challengers fic#ames writes~!
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Astarion was not a "corrupt" magistrate.
Hello again. Just more opinion about my favorite battle buddy. Warning, trigger words in use. Game spoilers.
It's not quite set in stone that Astarion really was a magistrate, but we are going to go with the idea he was for this thought pocket. Also this is just game as it is now info use.
I don't believe he was corrupt magistrate. There were a few things in the game that called that out, but one in particular really set it in stone for me.
His response to the Ansur lair puzzle regarding justice.
Astarion: “Mercy?! Please. Justice should be a harsh lesson. All the better to deter the next vagabond.”
This makes me think he was a bit of a hard ass as a magistrate, but not corrupt. Had he been dealing dirty in the background I really feel like this answer would have been more dismissive or flippant. But he is pretty intent that this is his stance. Very, iv said this a thousand times, type feel.
I think, he was more of a by the book, law is law type. You murder and rape you swing from the gallows. You steal from a shop keeper, you do time. Period.
My theory is, he got beat up because he wasn't lenient with a member of the Gur that was on trial.
"Leniency?! You have been found guilty of negligence resulting in the death of a innocent! You are owed nothing!"
Could you hear it?
"But he talks about being hedonistic and indulgent all the time. "
Yes, but most patriar level citizens were spoiled entitled brats that did what they desired. Have you talked to some of them in the upper city? Yeeesh.
Was he arrogant? Most likely. Prejudice? Obviously (insert gnomes here). But being a haughty jerk does not make one evil.
Sex, nudity, orgies, parties, over indulging etc are not taboo in Faerun. If everybody is consenting to be being naked in a fountain, hopefully in a private villa garden, its not a crime. He talks about that like its a memory, but I like to think his wine drunk giggly ass was actually in that fountain.
If you want to have a little rabbit hole fun, break down the name. Faerun = Fae Run = Run by the Fae. And last I checked, fairies were always down for some naked in the water time. I mean, come on, you can go to pound town with a bear. (No offence, Halsin.) You think they are going to draw the line at how may wieners you can have in the same pot? I think not.
I think the criminal behavior came after he was turned. Cazador may have been targeting him, but not because they were involved. But maybe due to him looking like his old master Vellioth? And he took advantage of a situation. Who knows, lots of ideas there.
"But he's always getting onto Tav for doing the "right" thing."
Yup, Tav is being too trusting and getting too involved with other peoples problems. Why is this an issue for Astarion? Kindness was what got him entombed for a year. He cared about that sweet mans life and was severally punished for it. Its akin to being mauled by a dog and then watching people just reach out a pet every one they see. The anxiety of that attack is still there and it paints every encounter with its opinion. Danger.
"He's not smart enough."
Oh I bet he is. You can be whip smart at a subject and socially akward at the same time. I'm very good at my job. I know it inside and out and can give you any detail, rule, configuration at the drop of a hat in the most professional and proficient way possible. But ask me to be eloquent in a social situation? HA! You are better off asking a rock to fart. Unrelated.
"But he wants to ascend, and that's evil."
That is more about who is is after years of torment and abuse. Not before.
I think the rogue role was adopted to stay alive while hunting. And what a gods awful fate to be turned into the thing you hated the most. A criminal.
I'm sure Caz was real tickled by that. Expletive Adjective.
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why did everyone forget that weird thing lou said about how it's better then got him then a gay actor cos he's masculine (unlike... any gay actors?) and it was a surprise when him and buck kissed so quickly?
whyy are so people like 'thank you lou 😢'
Hello! I was on a break form 911 posting, but I feel like I should address this rq. It also got buried and I saw it about an hour or so ago. For the record, I ship both Bucktommy and Buddie.
Alright, for starters I’ve done some research and he was actually quoting someone as he was talking about something a friend of his had said, and it actually wasn’t referring to his own thoughts. The masculine bit was him referring to two masc characters being an openly MLM couple :).
Second of all:
A lot of people are saying poor Lou because he was acting. Doing something he genuinely loves and he liked the role, and yet he was being harassed. Thats not fair to him. He still played his role!! And we’re happy he did.
Next time you try to send something like this to me, please don’t be anon so I can see if you’ve commented on whatever the subject is, and please site me some evidence so I can form my own opinions. You’re fighting with a teenage boy rn, kind person. Please don’t spread anymore hate and negativity in this fandom. It’s not very nice. Don’t let a TV show turn you into something that you probably aren’t. I just want people to be civil about this, and not complete jerks.
All I’m worried about is Buck being happy, even if it’s not with Tommy and it’s with Eddie. I also care about this actors who care about their roles and get treated like shit because of it.
With much love, AllTheOutCasts <3
#911#911 abc#anon ask#charlie answers#lou ferrigno jr#oliver stark#bucktommy breakup#bucktommy#rip bucktommy#buddie#evan buck buckely#evan buckley#eddie diaz#edmundo diaz#thomas kinard#tommy kinard#if you know anon was talking abt something else please do tell!!
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Don't get too attached
#Brakul did a lot of the parenting for Erubi (the first of the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides throuple bastard children) in infancy especially due#to Hibrides going through absolutely horrific post-partum depression (and not wanting to be a parent to begin with. Like she#had accepted it as an inevitability and a duty but when it actually happened it was just like Oh God. I am in hell)#Brakul is the only one of the three that actually Wants to be a parent and the fact that he can't behave as such in order to avoid#suspicion that he's the father is kind of a living nightmare for him a little.#Not like he isn't involved in his ''''nieces''' lives given he lives in the same household but he has to keep a bit of distance.#Janeys and especially Hibrides are pretty unsympathetic about this. For Hibrides it's like she has had to go through so much shit#to maintain this situation she never asked to be a part of and when he has to go through a fraction of that he breaks the fuck down.#He only wants the benefits of the whole situation and isn't willing to deal with the consequences.#This is also one of the very few things she's sympathetic with Janeys about like she respects that he's at least willing to play#his part and be miserable without bitching to her about it. Like she fucking hates him but respects the commitment to the bit.#Janeys is more just like 'Just go make more kids if you want your own so damn bad. Get a wife or something. That's what I#had to do and look at me I'm doing great I'm so normal'#The two kids aren't present on the pilgrimage (back home under the care of a hired tutor) but the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides#Feeling Triangle are in a fucking tailspin over her being pregnant again like goddddd not this shit again#brakul red dog
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I can't see how the writers still think Skystar's a good person. Like, twelve year old me liked him and thought he was interesting, but I was like twelve. And even I knew he was an irredeemable asshole after Moth Flight's Vision. If a twelve year old can figure this stuff out I have no idea what these grown ass writers were doing.
DOTC has a thesis, stated in The First Battle, that really explains everything.
"Fear and Greed" is just a fake-deep way to reinvent a Good and Evil dichotomy. Because Clear Sky's abuse comes from a place of fear, it means it's not malicious, unlike a "greedy" cat.
He can be "soothed," ergo, he's a fundamentally good person.
Post-First Battle, the books are focusing constantly on his feelings, how sad it makes him to not be trusted, how happy he is when people are on his side. All while he continues to screech at people who tell him what to do, manipulate and mistreat his son, and even still beats and mauls those who offend him.
But because it's "fear," that doesn't matter. That's a justification, an excuse. The writers don't seem to believe in good and bad actions as much as they do good and bad people. True 'evil' comes from a person who hurts others for the wrong reasons, like 'revenge' or malice.
It's abuse apologia. Plain and simple.
The truth is that abusers don't think of themselves as evil people, and everyone, even you and me, is capable of being toxic or abusive. Talk to those who have been abused and we'll tell you; we often stayed because we "saw the good," or even felt responsible for them. Abuse can be passed down through generations because the kids come to believe the way they were treated was normal and okay.
If you go through life thinking that abuse only comes from evil/greedy people, you won't see it when it happens right in front of you. Fundamental good and evil is childish. Abuse comes from fear all the time.
Abuse is about power and control. Fear of rejection, of losing someone, of pain, those are all very common motivators as the abuser tries to stop them from happening before they even begin. It doesn't MATTER that your abuser is in pain too, you NEVER "deserved" what they did in an attempt to break your legs so you wouldn't run.
But... we can all change. Even the worst of us. It's never too late to stop hurting others, move on to a better life, but some people never will. Skystar loves his power, and he keeps that power no matter how many times he misuses it.
He has no reason to change as long as his cruelty rewards him with status and authority.
But the writers are incapable of recognizing that, because for this entire arc, they were stuck in an absurd view of the world in terms of Fear and Greed. Abuse can be excused if he did it for the "right reason," and that makes him "fundamentally different" from the truly evil villains, Slash and One Eye.
Hopefully, it now makes more sense to you.
#I am completely sincere when I say that I am legitimately concerned for the mental health of these writers sometimes#It's a lot of words to say. Again. That evil is really really simple.#It feels good to get what you want.#Power gets you what you want-- Security. Assurance. Respect.#Everyone wants these things.#It's not about having a twisted and sadistic soul#I'm sure those exist out there. But they're so so rare#And you will get hurt if you need to believe that the only person it's okay to leave or distrust or hate is a literal monster#You can leave anyone who tries to control and hurt you actually!!#Even if they're in emotional pain and insist that they NEED YOU#You didn't deserve it! You never did! It's okay! They didn't need to be a monster. And you're not one for leaving either.#Or resenting them. Or recognizing that they can't be trusted.#Of course... well. Clear Sky DOES act like a monster in this text.#Gouging out people's eyes and slaughtering innocent women#But most of the time irl your abuser didn't like. Kill someone lmao#At some point the metaphor breaks down#BUT!!!#cw abuse#dotc hate#Clear Sky#Skystar#Anyway casting spell of I Love You on every abuse survivor who feels a connection here#bone babble
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okay this destiel post is actually making me crazy because THIS is what i mean when i say no one knows what queerbaiting means anymore. brother they capitalised on destiel every time they made a new season of supernatural
#like hate to break it to you but they. actually did a lot of things to capitalise off it i’m afraid#they kept a ton of fans watching for ten years bc of destiel lmao#what do u think it means when a tv show teases a gay couple for ten years and then never makes it happen. what do you think we call that.#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#rambles#this is why samdean is superior wait who said that#jensen ackles#misha collins
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oh (vent in tags)
#checks notes. so the last time me and my partner had an actual conversation was back in may#fun !!!#our relationship has become such a nothing burger ik im partly to blame cause talking is a 2 sided thing but ive been the one reaching out#which is . weird since they are the type to talk a lot to people.#ive been feeling insecure for awhile cause they made a post about how they always feel closer to their friends rather than their partners#like. im sorry ??? if its such a recurring problem... uhh . yeah.#im just having doubts that they even want to be together#im the only one who ever mentions the idea of us meeting they did when first got together#which was almost 2 years ago now... so im just.#i feel like we would both be better off breaking up. buts its been so long since we've properly spoken that it feels awkward to talk#(oh and another that always gets to me is that whenever im venting about my depression and life on my priv twt.#they just. make light out of it or joke about it ??? like. not even an are you okay or im here for you. id honestly rather they ignored it#if theyre gonna be like that#anyway that was longer than planned.#i hate long distance relationships. i never wanted to be in one !!! arghhhh im not saying i never liked them but also us getting in one#was. uh a misunderstanding. they mistook me asking for clarification on what they were saying to me as me asking them out...#i just went along with it cause i was happy at the time and i liked them a lot. but i should of explained thats on me.#i dont know where i went wrong.....
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My current tier list of the Ace Attorney games. In case it's hard to see which is which (+ also for screen readers):
S Tier: PWAA A Tier: AAI2, DD, JFA B Tier: AJAA, AAI C Tier: T&T D Tier: SoJ Haven't Played Yet: TGAA 1+2 No: PLvsPW
I really need to replay the sequel trilogy, because I know for a fact I only played DD and SoJ once each when they first released (and so much more time has elapsed since then than I realized, oof), and while I feel like I started an AJAA replay awhile ago, I can't remember when that was + I think I stopped on the fourth case for some reason. (Not because of the video recording of the concert, lol. I honestly think there was another reason. My memory is really fuzzy though, so I'm just not sure what that reason was. But I don't think it had anything to do with the game, I think it was a real life reason.)
Anyway, once I replay those games I'll be able to place them more firmly on this tier list. This is just where my feelings about them are at right now -- that I loved DD despite whatever flaws it has, I'm pretty sure I was really vibing with AJAA a lot on my replay before I stopped, and the only life preservers that saved SoJ from getting an F tier created for it were "The Magical Turnabout" and Rayfa. :) But we'll see how I feel when I get around to replaying them.
And then of course, the TGAA duology will be played at some point as well. I'm just not in as much of a hurry to get to that because I don't know those characters (yet) beyond the very brief interactions I had with the characters in the first case of the first TGAA, so I'm less motivated. But I'll get there eventually.
And I think I pushed Layton and his game into the harbor or something idk idk who he is.
#ace attorney#i actually did replay the original trilogy recently btw so their placements are FRESH#because while i have been a fan of this series since i was in high school#(which was literally half my lifetime ago now :') )#the way i am with things i like is like . . . i'll play and be really into it and then i'll wander away for awhile . . .#then come back . . . then wander away again . . . etc#and the HD remaster collections made it REALLY easy to come back and replay. & while i had replayed the first two og trilogy games a lot#i had never replayed T&T for some reason. and then i DID replay it this time and :') realized why that was#altho it does have two of my favorite side characters of all time (the DeLites) and I do love the Fey drama#so it has its good points too. there's a reason it's in C and not D#ANYWAY. my investment in Ace Attorney is p much solely with the games#i'll reblog official manga or screencaps of the movie or w/e from time to time but#i've never been interested in watching them & i was never one who wanted an ace attorney anime bc like#why would i want that . . . when the games exist & are so story heavy . . . they're perfect bc you're not just passively watching#you get to actually DO something while absorbing the story. for an ADHD monster like me it's so good at keeping my attention#no hate to anyone who likes the adaptations ofc!!! but they're just not for me#for me it's always just been the games. and i boomerang back to them every few years or so#(often when a new game is announced or localized lol)#anyway i really hope the next game is NOT a Gh*st Trick crossover . . . i tried the demo & didn't like the gameplay#and also i don't want a crossover. i just want to break Kristoph's psyche locks & for Apollo & Trucy to know they're siblings#that's all i want#p lease
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🙈
#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek 😭
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THEY DID THE METACRISIS AGAIN.
AND THIS TIME HE'S NOT EVEN SAFELY CONTAINED IN HIS OWN UNIVERSE!
AND THEY MADE THE FIRST BLACK DOCTOR PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO A WHITE ONE AND
OH MY GOD TAKE THAT BOYS TARDIS AWAY FROM HIM GODDAMIT I WANT TO WATCH HIM
DIE
#tragedy enjoyers we are *not* winning#maybe its the oversaturation of david tennant in the media#maybe its his unjustified return to doctor who#maybe its just because im sick of the fandom obssession with 10 to the neglect of all other doctors#or maybe its just because i hate obvious nostalgia bate and the bcc's obvious cowardice retreating back to rtd rather than try something new#but man i was looking forward to watching 14 kick it only to be ROBBED#tbc i dont have anything against tennant personally im just tired of seeing him everywhere#like does he sleep? does he eat? does he spend time with his family? idk#also really disappointed that they made Ncuti play second-fiddle to an old white doctor. like cmon thats so cowardly. fuck you.#and i wouldnt hate the whole '14 stays on earth with donna' thing IF THEY HADNT DONE THAT BEFORE WITH ROSE#AND IF THEY HAD CLARIFIED THEY HE CANT REGENERATE#AND TAKEN THE TARDIS AWAY#AND ACTUALLY EXPLAINED WHY THE FACE CAME BACK LIKE GIRL THE TRAUMA RECOURSE WAS RIGHT THERE#It's just. its always fucking tennant that gets the special treatment isnt it? every other doctor has to cease#but he gets out of jail free#(also if it was about finding family again and taking a break. Susan Is Literally Chilling One Century Away)#on the positive side i did like the toymaker. he was severely wasted but i liked him he was fun#i really enjoyed the dance sequence it served like no purpose but it was a lot of fun#also the soundtrack. i like ominous 'la la la la' noise. they better release it soon.#anyway rant over#doctor who
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took a little break to continue bg3 run 2 and delighted to report that although I gave up on the weird fuckin needle blight ambush (might return to it another time I was just barely at level+at a halfway point w spell slots and it was not worth a long rest) I DID get into moonrise and break out the prisoners without triggering a fight which I hadn't done before. (tried to talk warden into letting me speak w prisoners first, that didn't work, so I shut the door and killed her, then deceived the other guards into thinking I could talk w the prisoners, then careful sneaking meant I killed all the scrying eyes and didn't alert any other guards. Wahoo)
#ari speaks#honestly i think act 2 might be my fav. i like the spooky. i think theres a lot to do but its fairly well contained.#i think there are parts that get confusing (mainly that it feels like moonrise dhould be your absolute last destination when its not)#but like. overall. i enjoy it#do i like actually hitting baldurs gate? ya.#do i HATE getting overwhelmed by the volume of things in the city? a lil#i did accidentally have wyll break his oath the first time we killed the warden but i savescummed.#back when i was playing through with wink i was able to talk to the prisoners w/o issue#but made the mistake of opening all the cell doors which will indeed turn everybody hostile. oops#turns out if you dont open ANY cells until theyve gotten through the tunnels#and you have astarion sneakily open cell 2 while the rest of the party sneaks through#then he teleports into cell 2 when its closed again#makes life a lot easier.#GOD pallylock will is really the way to go it makes him the fighting machine he deserves to be imo#(no shade to single class warlocks)
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hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT
#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background..#literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start#to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me#when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and#then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such#and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more#negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed#out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail....#also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don'#want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working#there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had#tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard#rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r#doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's#why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME#ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda#long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to#your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if#you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve#that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint.#anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴#ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :(((((((((((#r.txt
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What is this problem and how do I fucking fix it.
#Mmmmm how do I enjoy myself like a normal human being instead of feeling crushing guilt if I’m taking a break for my own sake#I have a love hate relationship with my brain and mental illness#OCD I could do without you leave me alone#I’d like to keep all the manias to a minimum tyvm#Honestly I wish I didn’t have to medicate my ADHD but it’s hit or miss if I can function averagely if I don’t#I don’t fucking know where the dissociation periods came from as a kid#(Actually I do. Fuck you anxiety.)#but now I get freaked out if lose track of time or feel too emotional or like the world isn’t real#Mmmmmmm I just wish I could enjoy things and find happiness in them like I used to though#Yk it’d be great if I could take care of myself too instead of promptly forgetting to do basic human needs#My cat KitKatniss is here though and she’s v excited to see me#Anyways sorry#rant#Delete later#probably#I did rewatch a lot of She-ra was nice
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i get that the word "unalived" gets slack for sounding so clunky and goofy but the actual idea of using euphemisms to talk about death is not weird or stupid. people say "passed away" or "moved on" or "lost" and those are completely fine and acceptable as they should be because death can be a difficult subject and if people want to change their language when they talk about it then i don't really understand why they can't
#also hate to break it to you but people started using words like unalived on tiktok#because non white creators especially black creators kept getting flagged and banned for saying certain things#and yes that did happen there are plenty of black people on there who talk about it#and if you followed them you would know that because it was brought up A LOT in 2020 especially#and having a bunch of white people on tiktok go “JUST SPEAK NORMALLY” when they weren't the ones getting punished for speaking#was really fucking annoying actually and so is everyone on tumblr who thinks they're morally superior for not liking tiktok
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2. What was the first moment that they knew they were in love with their LI?
13. How do they react at being away from each other?
26. How important is the romance in your OC’s overall story?
these are going under a cut for length, but thank you!!!
2. What was the first moment that they knew they were in love with their LI?
There were a lot of little moments for Nailah, but if one had to be chosen as the moment... it'd be the one they shared before scaling Mount Gulg. She pieced together who the Exarch was shortly before then, and though she still didn't know why he was doing what he was, hearing someone she deeply trusted speak so warmly to her after some of the worst experiences in her life set her heart on fire for him.
It's a similar story for G'raha - several smaller moments rather than one big one - but the through-line of all of those bits was seeing Nailah let down her walls and just be herself. He fell in love with each glimpse of her gentle nature, each quiet chuckle he heard, each shy smile he caught... it was a slow, inevitable love for him.
13. How do they react at being away from each other?
If he's not kept busy, G'raha falls into wistful pining pretty quickly. His thoughts regularly drift to thinking about (or worrying over) Nailah, and he writes letters when his yearning becomes too much to bear. The letters rarely get sent - apparently postmoogles don't accept 'nondescript Eorzean wilderness' as a valid mailing address - so he stores them in Nailah's annex room for her to read when she returns.
While Nailah likes having time for herself, she doesn't like staying away from G'raha for too long - he's one of very few people she's comfortable being herself around, and going back into the public eye alone isn't something she enjoys. Tiring as it is, she retreats to her colder, distant professionalism, fighting off her yearning with her poetry in dark inn rooms or secluded camps while collecting stories and trinkets as gifts for her lover upon her return. The longer she's kept away, the colder she comes across to those around her - though admittedly, it's hard for strangers to notice the difference.
26. How important is the romance in your OC's overall story?
it's important, but it's not the be-all end-all if that makes sense? it's the culmination of lessons she learns through her journeys, but it's not the point of her story. the romance is supposed to represent Nailah finding her own self worth and choosing to pursue something for herself, even if that something is as small as loving someone else. she needs a space to figure herself out and just... be Nailah, and G'raha gives her that and more, while she gives him just as much support and encouragement in his own choices - choices that he also is starting to pursue for himself.
...i think that's as good an explanation as i can give without incoherently rambling tbh.
#answered asks#thank you for the asks!!! im sorry they took so long!!!#oc: hrothwol#ship tag goes here#lil more context bc i cannot stop myself and clearly dont understand formatting#nailah held a candle for g'raha since the very end of the crystal tower raids#but she was in no state to recognize those feelings or do anything about them at the time#(the first spark here was hearing him talk about his dreams with such conviction and warmth -#- she wanted to hear him speak of her like that one day... but didnt understand why)#so she chalked it up to missing someone she was unexpectedly attached to#g'raha was convinced nailah hated him at the start of the ct raids since she kept him at arms length#and she kept wandering off to be alone (her echo was acting up and she needed a lot of breaks)#...it was a whole thing but they eventually talked it out and she started opening up to him#the whole 'century alive with only stories of the Warrior of Light' thing did mess with his memory of her#so there was a little culture shock(?) when he sees her again in shb#(nailah was pretty frustrated during early shb so he got a pretty skewed first impression again lol)#he fell in love with who she actually was over the shb story and as he fully remembered their time together#...holy shit thats a lotta tags...#i appreciate any of y'all that read these#and apologize for exploding your dashes it will happen again ;-;
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