#like grow up and go on a date damn
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michael is always telling trevor how immature he is or whatever as if michael himself isnât the reason for their 25 year situationship? like maybe YOU need to grow up
#like grow up and go on a date damn#or skip straight to marriage atp#25 years is too long to be asking what are we#trikey#gta v#michael desanta#michael townley#trevor philips#grand theft auto v#gta#gta 5
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there's absolutely something sketch about ted and his wife seeing a therapist, ted feeling like he was being ganged up on the entire time to the point it made him feel like all therapists were just in it for the money and not really to help people, and then Michelle and said therapist getting together shortly after a divorce was finalized. like there's a slim chance jake wasn't hoping for a divorce when he was meeting with them. but it's quite slim in my opinion.
#do i think it was ultimately good for ted and Michelle to grow apart from each other. yes. i think they needed it.#unlike some fans i don't think them ending up reconciling is ultimately terrible as long as they both did grow#like we know ted did so as long as Michelle was having her own journey back in the us#but i do think it's really shitty to go to a marriage counselor that you felt was ineffective bordering on harmful to your relationship#only to later find out your ex wife is dating said therapist. like damn.#ted lasso
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i needed to write my thoughts in here or i would go crazy. i started this at 5am and it like 9am here. thank u sm for this omg
the essence of youth is summers with you
genre: poly!surfers!ateez x fem!reader, childhood best friend!san, sort of college!au, slice of life and coming of age, slow burn, fluff, angst
length: 38.7k
c/w: surfer!ateez (deserves a warning), explicit profanity, hella angst, mentions of alcohol, themes of sexuality and homophobia, arguments, implied toxicity (not the boys), miscommunication, kissing, m x m interactions
synopsis: when you move away from your hometown at the age of six, you discover that summer in namhae takes the form of a skinny, dimpled boy who loves the sea and holding handsâ choi san. but as the summers go past and he goes to seoul for college, bringing back new friends each year, you start to develop feelings that run deeper than just friendship. will your summers of youth become ones of love and dreams, or will they end in pain and heartbreak?
a/n: i owe the biggest thank you to yumi @sorryimananti-romantic for making this fic possible and for all the support she's given me in the last three months. this fic has quickly become one that i hold dearly in my heart because of how healing it has been to write, so i hope this is also healing to read âĄ
itâs the first day of summer when you move to namhae.
the houses and trees flicker past and eventually peter out into vaster fields, mudflats and stretches of beach as your father drives through the countryside from yeosu to namhae. you idly wonder if summer in namhae will be like what it is back in your hometown.
it isnât very comfortable wedged between your parents in the middle seat of the mini-truck, especially when some of the roads become unpaved as you arrive closer to the village. but youâre wearing your cute, yellow sundress with bumble bees across the front pocket, which is your big-girl dress, so you can deal with the bumpiness a little longer without complaining. the truck sounds like itâs going to give out as it groans and sputters to a stop in front of what will be your new home.
tentatively, you hop out and look around. itâs a quaint beach house that rests along a modest coastal embankment. when you walk closer to the edge of the port, you see that thereâs a stretch of sand that leads to the ocean, and a little further down the coast is another beach houseâ your new neighbours.
the rattle of your truck must have alerted them to your arrival, because they come out with warm smiles and even warmer greetings. they exchange handshakes and hugs with your parents, then the attention falls to you. thereâs a boy who peers out from behind his motherâs legs as she compliments your dress, his round eyes brimming with curiosity at the sight of a potential playmate other than his sister. you cling onto the side of your motherâs dress and the adults share a laugh.
the boyâs mother gently nudges him forward. âgo on, sweetie. say hi.â
with another nod of encouragement, the boy shuffles closer to you with an impish grin. you realise heâs shorter than you are. âhi, iâm san. iâm six years old and i like the sea!â
the grip you have on your motherâs dress loosens a little as you mumble shyly in return, âiâm y/n. iâm six and i like the sea too.â
his smile grows impossibly wider, and his eyes and remaining reservations disappear at your words. reaching out, he grabs your hand in a physical declaration of friendship. your other hand falls away from your motherâs dress.
âweâre going to go play at the beach,â he announces, because youâre his friend now and friends play together.
on your first day of summer in namhae, you find that summer takes the form of a skinny, dimpled boy who loves the sea and holding hands.
âsannie!â you skid across the wooden floorboards of his living room in your sock-clad feet, startling his father who is sitting on the couch with a newspaper.
he peers at you from above his glasses with the smile that stays consistently warm, be it from him or his son. he chuckles, âhello, sweetheart, here to play with san again?â
you bow slightly in greeting and nod before you whiz off once more in the direction of sanâs room. summer vacation has only just started and you and san have already spent seven summers together, but there are crabs to chase and waves to splash and sandcastles to build so thereâs not a day to be wasted.
âchoi san!â you holler again, thundering up to his door. youâre about to yank it open when san opens it from the opposite side, excitement already plastered across his face as he starts to yell your name too.
the moment he appears, you hurtle into his chest for a hug that ends up knocking you both off-balance. he stumbles backwards with you in his arms and rebounds off the edge of his bed, sending you both sprawling onto the floor in a fit of laughter. youâve become familiar with the way his bedroom floor feels from these exact moments, and youâve also become familiar with the way sanâs arms feel around you from being wrapped up in his tight cuddles. you may love the sea, but you love being with san just a little more.
âdo you have your bucket?â you ask, still tangled together on the floor in a mess of limbs and untamed hair.
san props himself up on an elbow and reaches behind you to reveal a large, plastic bucket. itâs purple with a white handle and it matches yours; blue with a white handle and still lying on its side from when you dropped it in favour of hugging san.
you sweep up your bucket with a cheeky grin, ârace you to the beach!â using sanâs chest as leverage to stand up, then pushing him onto his back again by his shoulders for good measure, you take off for the door.
ïżœïżœïżœthatâs cheating!â he yells after you.
you sprint with glee back through the living room, barely managing to brake in time to avoid running headfirst into his mother. you greet and farewell her in a single breath before youâre off again, forgoing your sandals when you hear the thundering of sanâs footsteps and a warbled bye mum! bye dad! catching up behind you.
the pavement is hot under the bare soles of your feet but soon enough you leap off the sidewalk, bucket clattering in your hand, and the ground turns cool and soft as you run across the sinking sand. san jumps after you with a battlecry of his own and you scream when you feel him right on your tail. he catches up as you near the waves and with a final burst of energy, he grabs your hand and tugs you along with him.
your grip on your bucket is lost once more when you yelp and focus on keeping up insteadâ sanâs only got an inch on you now but why is he so much faster than you? the wet sand starts to grow colder, salty water splashing everywhere the further you sprint. neither of you slow downâ not that you could with san dragging you along right into the thick of the crashing waves as he whoops.
you dread the day san will actually be tall enough to pick you up and toss you into the water, but for now, you give him the satisfaction of pretending. you wait for him to bend down a little, then you kick the water right into his face. he splutters indignantly and blinks the sting away until he can see the wide smirk on your face. his tongue pokes his cheek as he gives you a scandalised smile, before he cocks his head and sniggers, âyour turn.â
you take that as your cue to run. san dips his bucket into the water, scooping it up full to the brim, then starts chasing you with faux anger that makes you shriek in delight. you yell breathless apologies over your shoulder in between giggles but they all fall upon deaf ears as he continues streaking after you, bucket held high like a madman with an axe.
you end up slowing down because itâs hard to run through water, and youâre met with the icy downpour of water over your head. san laughs triumphantly when you look at him with the ferocity of a soaked kitten. you eye his bucket and weigh up the odds of snatching it out of his hands versus dunking him headfirst underwater through sheer force. realistically, you have no chances of doing either. plus, san knows you too well.
âuse your own bucket, you loser,â he banters as he hides his. and yet, he walks back to retrieve your bucket for you before itâs swept out by the waves.
âare you cold?â san asks whilst passing it to you.
thereâs vigour and liveliness thrumming through your every vein. âno,â you answer, ââm not cold.â never with you.
he nods, âlet me know if you do get cold, okay? iâll grab you a jacket or something.â
âmy house is literally next to yours. i can get one if i need to,â you chuckle.
âi know, but itâs the principle of it. just shut up and let me have my chivalrous moment.â san sits with the characteristic huffiness of a teenager who thinks heâs all grown up now that heâs in high school. but itâs not very convincing when he immediately starts to shovel sand into his bucket with the enthusiasm of a puppy.
âokay, thank you, sannie. iâll let you know if i so much as shiver,â you dotingly appease him.
he nods diligently, then pats the sand next to him for you to sit down too. you join him in filling up the buckets with sand so that you two can make your thirty second attempt to build a five-tiered sandcastle pyramid. so far, youâve only ever gotten to the third layer before it starts to crumble apart.
âwhatâs wrong?â you ask when san stops packing the sand into his bucket.
you realise heâs distracted by something in the distance and you follow his line of sight to find a lone surfer riding a wave in the horizon. san watches as the manâs body becomes an extension of the oceanâ a dancing duet with the rolling waves as he stands steadily on his board with powerful elegance. when the board glides towards the shore, the man spreads his arms like an eagleâs wings and lets himself fall backwards into the sway of the water.
san is suddenly filled with yearning to learn of the seaâs choreography. he declares, âi want to become a surfer.â
âwhat happened to becoming a dancer?â you raise an eyebrow. because if thereâs one thing that san loves just as much as the sea, then itâs dancing.
âbecoming a dancer is still my dream. i meant surfing as an interest,â he breathes out. âjust look at him. he looks soâŠfree.â
you can see it in the way sanâs eyes follow the surferâs movements and sparkle with wonderâ the moment he falls utterly and hopelessly in love. âthen try it,â you encourage, âwhatâs stopping you?â
san tears his gaze away from the ocean to look at you instead. the same, loving gaze stays on his face. ânothing,â he proclaims with a growing smile. âabsolutely nothing.â
san has all the summers in the world to surf. and youâll be there with him for every single one.
you watch as san fixes his surfboard to the top of his black jeepâ the last of his luggage to be loaded.
âi donât get why youâre taking that with you. thereâs probably nowhere to even surf in seoul.â you know you sound like a snobby six-year-old and not the eighteen-year-old that you are, but you donât really care right now. not when san is leaving and you wonât be able to attend college together like you thought you would be.
tugging on the straps once more to check that theyâre secure, he chuckles, âdoesnât hurt to take it just in case.â when he sees the forlorn look on your face he adds, âiâll be back every summer, yeah?â
âit wonât be the same. who am i going to hang out with every day?â you grumble.
san laughs endearingly, âitâs only until i graduate.â
âor you find a job or a girlfriend and then youâll stay in seoul forever.â you cross your arms defiantly as san steps closer and reaches out to ruffle your hair. where you had stopped growing at fifteen, san is still growing and he now towers almost half a head over you.
âjust four yearsâno job, no girlfriendâand then iâll be back. i promise.â he opens his arms a little, ânow, do i get my goodbye hug or do i need to tickle it out of you instead?â
you huff before uncrossing your arms and sinking into his warm embrace. he folds you into his chest as your arms wrap around his waist. closing your eyes, you memorise the feeling of his back muscles flexing under your hands while he gently rocks you side to side. you soak in his body heat that swaddles your entire being in safety and home. you breathe him in one last time when you bury your face in the crook of his neck, nuzzling the steady pulse that beats there.
âiâll miss you,â you whisper, because you donât trust your voice not to crack if you speak any louder.
san presses a soft kiss against your hairline and admits, âiâll miss you more.â
you bite back the urge to respond with âthen stayâ, cherishing the moment for a little longer instead, before you step away so that he can say his goodbyes to his family. he hugs them one by one; his father, his sister, haneul, and lastly, his mother. sheâs discreetly wiping at her tears and you have to look away so that you donât start crying too. because if you start crying, everything will become blurry, and you canât afford that when this is the last time youâll see san until next summer.
you all gather around the driverâs window thatâs rolled down to the very bottom when san is finally seated. seeing him buckle his seatbelt ready to leave overwhelms you with a sense of finality and your eyes well up before you can blink the hotness away. san stretches a hand out to thumb away your tears and makes a sad noise, âdonât cry, please? we can call whenever you want.â
you sniffle, âcall me when you arrive?â
he nods with that dimpled smile you are already starting to miss. and then just like that, your best friend is gone. you stand outside his house for a stretch of time, even after the outline of his jeep has long since disappeared into the distance. it may be the last week of summer, but it feels like itâs the middle of winter today.
sanâs eyes flick upwards to look in the rearview mirror, even though he hasnât been able to see your reflection the last three times heâs looked. he had tried to appear as collected as he could to avoid making it any harder for you, but now he regrets not holding your hand a little longer; a little tighter. and if san tears up a little as he starts the four-hour drive up to seoul, then thatâs between him, the car, and the playlist you made just for him.
you absentmindedly tug on a crease in your bed sheets as you laze on your bed, phone on speaker so you donât have to hold it. âwhat was that?â you pull your device closer to your ear. âare you going somewhere?â
there it is againâ the beeping sound of a car in reverse. the warning signal stops as san answers vaguely, âhome.â
you jolt up into a sitting position, a growing sense of excitement making its way across your face as you dare to ask, âhome?â
âyeah, home,â san confirms, and you can hear the smile in his voice this time. âi told you iâd see you soon, didnât i?â
âi didnât think you meant in five literal minutes,â you almost trip over your own feet in your hurry to slip some shoes on. âoh my god, is that why you said you couldnât facetime me?â
you can hear his answer this timeâ not the scratchy voice that comes from your speaker, noâ the smooth deepness of sanâs voice close by. and there he is. after almost a year of freezing days, absent dimples and longing calls, choi san is finally back in namhae for the summer.
in quick succession, you notice three things. one, san has returned from seoul with triple the number of surfboards that he left with, strapped to the top of his black jeep. two, said man is now almost a whole head taller than you as he watches you with a smirk and disconnects your call. and three, heâs not alone.
if you think that san is tall, then the two guys that hop out of the jeep after him are even taller. one of them runs a veiny hand through his dark brown locks, which fall back down to softly frame his face. the other turns in your direction after closing his door and you realise youâve seen him beforeâ both of them, actually.
on top of your spontaneous calls with san, you facetime him every friday afternoon after your own classes have finished. heâs usually in one of the universityâs dance studios because, as a dance major at kq university, the studio is basically his second home. san mentions his friends every now and then and theyâll appear behind him to say hello to you or youâll be able to hear them in the background of the call.
quite frankly, the crusty quality of sanâs front camera hardly does them justice because wow. theyâre hot. and tall. theyâre not letting you forget that fact when the three of them step away from the jeep and closer to where you and sanâs family are waiting to welcome them.
san greets his parents with a hug before he gestures to his friends one by one, âyunho, mingi. the friends i was telling you about.â
yunho and mingi thank sanâs parents for letting them stay the summer and apologise in advance for the inconvenience. but from the way theyâre immediately told that their extended stay is more than welcome and that hopefully the drive down from seoul wasnât too tiring, you know sanâs parents have already adopted the two well-mannered boys as their own sons.
âhey, pipsqueak,â san sidles up to your side whilst his parents fuss over his friends.
you look at him, appalled by the sudden nickname, and even more so as you swat his hand away when he playfully ruffles your hair to tease, âlooks like youâve been busy doing everything but growing.â
âon second thoughts, maybe i donât really miss you.â
san laughs, the tinkle of the sound like the crisp smell of the ocean during sunrise. he pulls you into him and thatâs all it takes for you to melt in his embrace. despite your earlier quip, youâve missed san terribly. it finally feels like namhae now that his familiar arms are around you again.
the rumble of sanâs chest is soothing as he says, âwell, i miss you. itâs good to be back home.â
you pull back a little to look up at him and god, heâs gotten so much taller. âitâs good to have you back home, choi san.â
the sound of approaching footsteps breaks your hug apart and you give the two boys a friendly smile as san roughly introduces your names, âbut you all already know that, considering you guys basically see each other every week.â
âon top of the fact that san doesnât shut up about you,â mingi jokes.
san punches him in the arm and mingi amends himself with a laugh, ânamhae! he doesnât shut up about namhae!â
yunho snorts, then offers you a small hug as he properly introduces himself. he leaves enough space between your bodies for the holy spirit to boogie when his arms encircle you, and you honestly find his courtesy extremely endearing.
âare you two also dance majors?â you ask.
âyeah, so we share some classes together,â yunho explains. âmingi and san are in the department of dance performance though, whereas iâm in choreo, so they have all their classes together and i only share the core ones with them.â
âgood thing, too,â mingi joins the conversation and rests an arm around the otherâs shoulder. âiâve known him since high school and i was honestly starting to get a little sick of his face.â
he earns himself a jab to the side and he keels over with a dramatic groan. both san and yunho ignore him in favour of stepping back towards the jeep to unload their surfboards. you eye the boards with curiosity, recognising the white deck with the yellow and blue tail to be sanâs. the design is simple, but san had used his own money to purchase it as his first transition board after the beginner-level mini malibu his parents had gifted him, so itâs his baby.
âare these all yours?â you question as san rests the tail of his board on the ground.
he shakes his head with a flustered laugh, âthe guys brought theirs along too.â
mingi reaches for his board after yunho takes his and your jaw drops to the ground. âyou all surf? wait, so you can surf in seoul?!â
âno, you were right. you canât,â san chortles in embarrassment. âbut there are a couple of indoor surfing places that we can go to.â
mingi hikes his surfboard against his hip, âdoesnât beat the real thing, though.â
ânope, which is exactly why weâre crashing. sorry, by the wayâwe probably shouldâve asked you whether we could come,â yunho scratches the back of his neck.
you frown, âof course you can. itâs not like iâm the town head of namhae or anything.â
âbut they know we spend our summers together,â san lightly bumps you with the side of his hip.
âoh,â you can feel heat creeping across your cheeks, so you force it away by jumping on the opportunity to tease, âyou know what? mingi was right. you donât shut up about me, do you.â
mingi hollers at the ammunition you have just given him for future use and even yunho slaps his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. itâs amusing to see san flustering so easily now that thereâs a new dynamic of friendship between you and the other two boys, and san resorts to giving both of his friendsâ asses a good-natured kick in the direction of the beach.
as they lumber off with their boards sniggering, san effortlessly hoists his own board up and sideways and beckons, âletâs go.â
âyou know i canât surf, san.â
he flicks your nose fondly with his free hand, ânot to surf, silly. letâs go get our buckets.â
your eyes widen and you stand on your tiptoes with excitement, âbuckets?â
âof course,â san waggles his eyebrows up and down with his dual dimples. âweâve got some serious sandcastle-building to show off.â
half an hour later, all three surfboards are tossed to one side in the wet sand as you share the buckets for an intense showdown between the ânamhae ninjasâ and the âhighschool homiesâ. san had shot down your suggestion to alliterate your team name with the word âneighboursâ, claiming it was an insult to the bestfriendshipness between you two, but hadnât been able to come up with a much better alternative himself.
san holds his breath as you upturn another moulded bucket of sand onto the third tier of your sandcastle pyramid. with little surprise, the foundation starts to crumble and triggers a chain reaction that topples it all over. as always, some things just donât change, even over time.
mingi laughs at your sandy ruins with an awful lot of audacity for someone who had watched yunho build most of their sandcastle, only to then add a little stick at the very top as a finishing touch. he grabs his phone from where he had left it on the safety of his discarded towel and holds up the front camera to take a photo of you all.
where there used to be two sandcastles between two friends, there are now two sandcastles between four. mingi snaps the photo, eternalising the moment. some things do change over time, and sometimes, change is just the beginning of a new chapter.
âwhich one do you think looks better?â
your mother takes a step back to scrutinise yunhoâs pick. âthis one,â she points, âthe other colour palette clashes too much.â
san nods solemnly in agreement and mingi squints at his own choice from beside. with the seriousness of their expressions, one would think that theyâre discussing investment properties. in reality, youâre watching your trio of friends and your mother earnestly matching and colour-coordinating the floral prints of your fatherâs flowy farming pants to their button-up shirts.
noticing the dubious frown on mingiâs face, your mother nonchalantly skims her fingertips over the pants heâs holding. âthis is one of my favourites because it has little leaves on it,â she remarks, before dropping her voice to a whisper so that only mingi can hear her next words. âit matches your shirt. i think youâll look the best in it.â
he immediately perks up and you canât help but compare him to a sunflower that thrives the most under a loving hand. itâs incredibly cute and you can also tell that your mother feels the same, if not obvious from the way she has been giving him extra hugs and compliments all summer.
you rejoin the boys after you have all changed into your pants. it takes a lot of self control not to laugh when you see how seriously they are taking their get-up; rubber boots hiked up to their knees over their floral pants, and their straw hats secured snugly with the chin straps. even as disinterested as your father originally was when the trio had first arrived at the beginning of summer, he now lingers behind the sliding glass doors to watch you and san attempt to teach the tall boys how to plant rice seedlings in the paddy field.
yunho grabs a small, prepared bed of seedlings and turns to look at you cheekily. âwant to be a rice friend and show me how to plant these?â
you level him with a stare that makes him chuckle and apologise, âsorry, i wonât say that a-grain.â
he looks awfully pleased with himself, so you turn on your heels in pretence to ditch him for mingi instead. you let out an involuntary yelp when yunho prevents your escape by quite literally manhandling you back next to him. he dares to up his charm by using his wide, sparkling eyes on you as he thrusts the seedlings into your hands, like a child waiting for you to open a bag of snacksâ how could anybody say no?
you talk him through your demonstration, separating a small cluster of seedlings from the seedbed before transplanting it into the field. once he seems confident, you let him take over. itâs mesmerising to watch yunhoâs hands as he deftly carries out each stepâ the way his long and slender fingers move with coordination and grace. despite it being his first time, he works skillfully like someone with years of experience. youâve come to realise that yunhoâs good at doing things that involve physicality, like dancing, surfing, and now farming.
âhow did you start surfing?â you wonder.
yunho stills momentarily, before he separates another cluster of seedlings and runs his fingers through its green shoots. âi actually started surfing because mingi wanted to try,â his voice is fond. âitâs been four or five years now.â
âthatâs really sweet of you.â
he ducks his head bashfully, then asks, âwhat about you? how come you donât surf?â
âsan roped me into his first few lessons, but i never got the hang of it so i stopped,â you reveal. âi prefer watching, anyway.â
âmaybe you just didnât have a good teacher. i could teach you one day?â
you donât doubt that he would make a good teacher, but you would most definitely be a terrible student. the shirt and board shorts that leave very little to imagination when heâs soaked, and the water that drips from the ends of his hair down his jawline and neck are distracting enough as they are from a distance.
you chuckle, âyouâre going to need a lot longer than just a few days to turn me into a surfer. you guys leave this weekend, donât you?â
âthatâs true,â he hums. âbut thereâs always next summerâŠif youâd like that?â
at his words, you suddenly donât know where to look. the rosiness that starts to colour your cheeks makes a small part of you hope that there is an underlying hint of flirting in his question. before you can answer though, youâre interrupted by san peering over your shoulder to look at yunhoâs progress. âof course youâre good at this too.â
you crane your neck to look around san, where you find mingi squatting and planting seedlings in the rows that are within armâs reach.
âhowâs he going?â
san glances back, âheâs, uhâwell. heâs trying.â
âmy hardest!â mingi yells across the field.
with a laugh, you stand up and slowly make your way towards him, leaving san and yunho to lay down the rules to see who can plant the most seedlings in the next half an hour. because apparently, everything needs to be a competition between them.
the seedlings that mingi has planted donât look that bad, honestly. theyâre a little lopsided, the spacing and height of each seedling a little inconsistent, but for his first time it really isnât all too bad. you tell him such and squat down beside him. âhere, let me show you.â
you gently remove one of the seedlings from the watery mud whilst talking, âthey may just be plants, but theyâre like people, too. if you treat them with love and care, you can see the same reflected in them.â you neaten the sides of the hole as you add, âyou know, itâs kind of like how yunho loves and cares for you.â
having spent all summer with the pair, you notice all the times yunho subtly perks his head up to locate where the other boy is. all the times yunho brings him into conversation or back into the little huddle youâre all standing in. all the times yunho will wait for mingi to say what he wants or thinks before saying the same thing himself.
your fingers ease the seedling into the hole, then you fill it with soil and pat it down firmly to give the shoot the support it needs. âyunho told me he started surfing because you wanted to.â
at your words, mingi nods with a wistful smile; completely different from his characteristic cheerfulness. even the brightest of stars have moments where their twinkle dulls. âi was going through a rough time at home and i wanted something to distract myselfâŠgive myself a reason to get out of the house, even if just for a few hours,â he reveals. âsometimes, yunho and i skipped our morning classes and he would take me on long trips to the beach just so that we could surf.â
âiâm glad you had him to help you through that.â
âyeah, heâs helped me a lot,â mingi agrees. âhe still does. sannie too.â as he talks, mingi attempts to plant another seedling the way you have shown him, and this time, it stands tall and proud amongst the other shoots beside the one you have planted.
âhow are things at home now?â you ask.
he shrugs aloofly, an indirect answer that tells you everything you need to know. his gaze settles on the other half of your little summer quartet, who are now in heated debate over the winner of the planting competition. âboth of them knew that i didnât want to go back to my hometown over summer. thatâs why san asked if we wanted to come here with him. thanks for letting us stay this summer, y/n. itâs meant a lot to me.â
your heart breaks a little at his words and you nudge him playfully, âstop treating me like iâm the head of namhae. thereâll always be a place here for the both of you.â
he lets out a laugh, a glimpse of his usual self. âwe just know how much summers mean to you and san.â
âand meanings can always change for the better,â you counter with a smile.
mingi feels warm from the very inside. for a moment, only you and him exist in this bubble of comfort as you simply gaze at each other. and it doesnât go unnoticed. yunho stretches his back with a satisfied exhale at sanâs admittance of defeat before glancing at the two of you looking nice and cosy in the exact same corner of the paddy field you were working on half an hour ago.
âhave you two just been sitting there this whole time?â yunho narrows his eyes as his words draw sanâs attention.
âno?â you flimsily say, at the same time mingi confidently declares, âyes.â
the man beside you is back to his usual antics as he giddily fans the fire by gloating, âwhat are you going to do about it?â
yunho and san glance at each other and you start rising to your feet at the foreboding of danger. they nod.
thatâs all the warning you get before they lunge in your direction. as dorky and harmless as the two of them look in their styled outfit of farming pants and straw hats, they are anything but that as yunho and san take frighteningly large steps through the rice paddy with their long legs. and just as your luck would have it, yunho is the one who is closest to you out of the two predators. you hardly think that itâs a fair chase between the tallest and the shortest.
âyun, we can talk this out like adults,â you try to distract him.
whilst youâre struggling for your life to pull your boots out of the squelching mud as fast as you can, yunho easily moves towards you with a devilish grin. you see his outstretched hands, covered in mud, and you decide right there and then that youâre not above begging.
âdonât come any closer! please, iâm sorry! iâmââ your pleads are cut off when he grabs you by the waist and hauls you over his shoulder.
for a brief second, you almost slip right over him face-first into the mud from the momentum and your life flashes before your eyes. but then yunhoâs arms flex as he steadily grips your thighs and readjusts your weight, and you resign your fate to his shoulder and his prettyâ but grubbyâ hands.
you twist your head to the side when a husky screech alerts you to victim number two and you find mingi at the mercy of sanâs headlock. he rapidly taps the latterâs forearm, yelling mercy as you all burst out into laughter. very soon, the field turns into a playground of childish liveliness as all intentions of farming are tossed to the wind.
mingi was right in saying that summers mean a lot to you and san. but as you all chase and run away from one another around the muddy field, smearing loving handprints of dirt over each otherâs faces and clothes, sounds of happiness loud enough that your parents can hear it from back inside the house, summer takes on a new meaning in the shape of you four.
in hindsight, it makes a lot of sense now why sanâs parents had knocked on your door earlier this morning, entrusting you with the spare key to their house and waving goodbye as they drove away in their rented campervan. they had let you know that they would be going on a road trip along the coast this summer so that san and his friends could have the house to themselves.
you hadnât thought much of itâ just excitedly counted down the hours until the reunion of your little quartet. yunho had been texting you updates as he, san and mingi finally made the four-hour trip down to namhae now that they were on summer vacation. one of the last texts you had received had been a picture of mingi in the backseat, head lolling and mouth open in deep slumber, with the caption, âgonna need to wake sleeping beauty up soon XD weâll be there in about twentyâ.
this time, you had opted to wait for their arrival by sitting on the embankment outside your houses. your legs had dangled off the ledge as you looked out towards the beach, and at the telltale noise of their arrival, you had excitedly hopped up to your feet, only to be met with a sight that had your steps halting in fluster. and oh, this is why sanâs parents had decided to yield the house. because this time, not only have the number of surfboards doubled, but so have the number of cars and boys that are suddenly in front of you.
as san turns off the ignition to his jeep, youâre dazedly swept up into a sandwich of hugs between yunho and mingi as they greet you eagerly. itâs good to see them again in the flesh instead of their measly five-inch-tall selves over facetime, and youâd be a little overwhelmed by their height on either side of youâ having forgotten just how tall they really areâ if your attention isnât distracted by the opening doors of the banged-up ute behind sanâs jeep.
either seoul has water thatâs doped with something, or birds of a feather flock together, because each of the three boys that step out are equally as good-looking. youâd be lying if your heart didnât skip a beat at the sight of them. youâre a simple girl with hormones weak for eye candy, after all.
yunho slings an arm around you and walks you a little closer as the new faces turn to look at you with friendly smiles. âthis is y/n,â yunho introduces. âand these are our friends, jongho and yeosang.â
you notice that he skips over one of the boys, who starts to open his mouth in complaint, but then yunho continues on, âand this short one is hongjoong. we keep him as our mascot.â
hongjoong gives the taller his middle finger with practised ease and counters, âand we keep you as our tall circus freak.â
the way everyone snickers, yunho and hongjoong included, tells you that this is just about as average an interaction can be. after the boys properly greet themselves and pleasantries are exchanged with you, they decide to unload all their luggage so that they can rest for the afternoon. you walk over to the open boot of the black jeep, reaching for the last duffel and hoisting it into your hands.
before you can so much as take two steps, thereâs a hand carefully taking the bag from yours. when you tilt your head up, itâs sanâs kind eyes that are gazing back at you. âhere, let me do it,â he casually tells you and then he walks towards the open doors of his house.
left with the outline of his back, you have a clear view of his shoulders flexing under his white shirt and you wonder when he started to fill out his clothes with muscle. you become conscious of the way youâre subtly ogling at your best friend, so you shake your head and walk over to the back of the ute instead where there are still a few bags left in the open bed.
thereâs a small duffel that looks relatively light. as you drag it closer, you quickly realise itâs heavier than it looks. âwhat the hell is in this? weights?â you mutter to yourself.
thereâs a giggle beside you, âsorry, thatâs probably yeosangâs bag. he brings his supplements with him everywhere.â
itâs jongho this time, with his gummy smile and crescent eyes, who takes the bag handles out of your hands. he extends a brown paper bag out to you instead. âwe can trade. this is much lighter.â
he easily picks up the bag of supplements and then reaches for a second bag to sling over his shoulder. for the amount of adorableness he exudes from his smile and laugh, the strength that he seems to have is on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. as he walks away, thereâs the crunch of approaching footsteps and you see that itâs the short boy, hongjoong. heâs only short relative to his friends, because when he comes to stand beside you heâs still easily taller than you.
âmaybe you could help me hold this, too.â heâs holding his closed fist out, making it impossible to discern whatâs in his hands.
âwhat is it?â you ask as you open your hand, palm upturned for him to drop whatever he is holding into yours.
except he simply uncurls his fingers and intertwines them with yours, shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. a laugh erupts from your throat, only growing in volume when yeosang appears and interrupts by stepping between the two of you, forcing his friend to let go of your hand.
as yeosang grabs the last suitcase and closes the tailgate, he deadpans to the other, âsanâs going to chop your hand off when he sees,â then he slings his free arm around hongjoong and ushers the both of you back into the house.
âitâs okay, i wouldnât let san do that to you,â you reassure.
hongjoong smirks triumphantly at yeosang, only for you to wipe the expression off his face when you finish, âbecause thatâd be animal abuse.â
âitâs been five minutes and youâve already picked your side,â he laments dramatically, before nodding. âi see how you play. i like you.â
âitâs a shame i donât,â you quip back immediately.
âfuck, did i just get rejected?â
yeosang shoves his friend through the doorway, âstop digging yourself a deeper hole.â
you all laugh as you shut the front door behind you to stop the cold of the air conditioner that san has turned on from escaping. youâre definitely starting to see the appeal hongjoongâs friends have in teasing him.
you take the bag of snacks still in your hand to the kitchen and you set it on the counter where san is drinking a glass of water. heâs watching the rest of the boys play âscissors, paper, rockâ over room allocations now that all their luggage has been piled up in the living room. he raises an arm and you easily slot yourself into his side and slide an arm around his waist. relaxing into the touch of his hand slowly rubbing up and down your arm, you also watch as the boys grow increasingly rowdy with each emerging winner.
youâve had the fleeting thought before, but now that youâre seeing all the boys together, you realise just how attractive they all well and truly are. even san, youâre slowly starting to notice, does not lack in the face or body department.
âdo you guys have a rule where you have to be attractive to be friends or something?â you ask, only half-jokingly. even though you had directed the question at san, itâs not him who answers you.
âaww, stop. you think weâre attractive?â of course hongjoong would be the one to overhear.
immediately, the feistiness in you appears. âyeah, and iâm wondering why they made an exception for you.â
he takes on the jest easily, âgod, youâre obsessed with me.â
âyouâre right, iâm a little crazy for dogs,â you shoot back, and you can feel the shake of sanâs chuckles from next to you.
âgood thing iâd bark for you, then.â
âwhat the fuck, guys?â mingi interrupts, âget a room.â
at that, san steps forward protectively and shoos his friends away, ïżœïżœïżœhurry up and put your bags in the rooms so we can go surfing.â
yunho and yeosang take their bags towards the small guest room down the hall, whilst the remaining three head for sanâs room. you turn to san incredulously, âyouâre fitting four people in your room?â
he shakes his head, âof course not. iâm going to sleep in haneulâs room. sheâs on a trip with her friends for most of the summer.â
âshe can stay at mine when she comes back. until you guys have to go back to seoul,â you suggest.
âoh, thatâs right. your parents are in yeosu now, arenât they?â
you nod. you had told san a couple of weeks ago that your parents had moved back to your grandparentâs house for the meantime. theyâre not sure how long they will be staying in your hometown for, but considering the deteriorating health of your grandparents and the fact that you are independent enough to take care of yourself, itâll likely be for a while.
san doesnât tell you, but thatâs part of the reason why he has brought so many of his friends back this summer. he knows that youâre silently struggling to adjustâ even if his parents take care of you like their own daughterâ so he hopes that he and his friends can fill in some of the silence, even if just for the summer. he wishes it didnât just have to be summer.
âdo you need to change into something else before we go?â he asks you.
you look down at the t-shirt and shorts that youâre wearing. you donât mind getting them wet, but you canât say the same about your underclothes. âyeah, iâll quickly go and change first.â
he nods and watches as you head towards the door to toe on your sandals. when you pull the door open, he gently calls after you, âitâs good to see you again, pipsqueak. iâve missed you.â
you smile, âiâve missed you more.â
even after the door closes behind you, sanâs smile stays on his face. âiâve missed you the most.â
no matter how many times you experience the thrill of getting tossed into the ocean, you still cannot fathom the fact that the once short, skinny boy who used to pretend to pick you up is now tall and strong enough to actually do it.
âyou cheater!â you screech when you feel sanâs arms snake around your waist from behind, lifting you up off your feet. âyou said youâd give me a ten-second head start!â
his gleeful laugh rings in your ears as he ignores your flailing limbs and teases, âi did! your little legs are just too slow.â
you start to feel the coolness of waves splashing your ankles and toes the further san carries you out away from shore and your grip on his forearm tightens in anticipation. with a slight swing, he lets go of your waist and tosses you into the water. the next thing you know when you regain your balance and wipe the water from your face is the sound of sanâs yelp as he disappears underwater. jongho grins from above, having leapt onto the olderâs back, who in turn has crumpled under the unsuspecting weight.
san emerges with a hulk-like roar absolutely soaked to the bone, his black t-shirt clinging to his torso. the clear outlines of his chest and broad shoulders set off an unfamiliar skip in your heart yet again, and san lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe his faceâ revealing his abs in all of their wonderâ does the complete opposite of calming you down.
you're fucked. there's no way you're attracted to san like that. in the form of petty revenge, said man brings his hands down to slap the surface of the water, splashing it right in your face and jonghoâs andâŠyeah, that flutter of butterflies is gone.
san is caught right in the middle of the crossfire as you and jongho splash him, drowning his figure in torrential rain. the sounds of his choked laughter draw the attention of everyone else too, who have no idea why san is the target but are more than willing to join in. but with the plethora of water being splashed and the chaos of hands coming from every possible direction, the three of you end up drowning under the attacks.
hongjoong quickly loses motivation when his arms grow tired from doggy-paddling the water and yunho and yeosangâs attempts also slow down. they snicker at the aftermathâ your trio absolutely drenchedâ and then rapidly skitter away before any of you decide to retaliate in vengeance.
at their cowardice, san bites the bait and goes hollering after them, leaving you with the youngest of your group of friends. jongho beckons towards the shore with his head and youâre momentarily distracted by his wet bangs falling over his forehead and eyebrows.
âup for more surfing?â he grins at you. and if thereâs one thing youâve learnt over the summer, itâs that you would kill for jongho if he asked you with his gummy smile.
jongho is a surprisingly good surfer. as the only one in the group who grew up in seoul with limited exposure to the beach, you can hardly tell that heâs a relative beginner in comparison to the rest of the boys unless you were a surfer yourself.
once they had become their close-knit group and they realised that most of them had a shared love for surfing, they had colloquially formed their own little surferâs club, knighting jongho as their honorary member. he learnt to surf in indoor centres, during the occasional beach road trips they would make and through the experienced guidance of his friends.
of all six surfboards they had brought to namhae, jonghoâs softboard is the one that is the most ideal for you to learn with. true to his words, yunho had attempted to teach you how to surf but on his own boardâ a shortboard great for experienced surfers to catch steep and aggressive waves, but terribly hard for a beginner to control. jongho had offered his board and so under his and yunhoâs careful hands, you had spent your summer practising on the beach before slowly transitioning into the water.
which is where you find yourself now, on your stomach as you slowly paddle out. jongho stands close by and waist-deep in the shallow waters of the spot that he has led you to where the waves are few and calm. just a couple of metres away, yeosang idly straddles his longboard as he watches in support.
âyou remember how to push through the waves?â jongho checks and you nod, gripping the rails of the surfboard and straightening your arms to lift your torso upwards.
âyeah, hang on,â he says, moving closer. jongho rests his hand gently on the small of your back to steady your body and you have to focus on what heâs telling you instead of the feeling of his warm hand. he taps the sides of the board a few inches in front of where your grip currently is.
âhold it here, otherwise your centre of gravity is too far back,â he explains as you shift your hands forward. âthe board might end up tipping backwards when you go through the wave.â
you retry the movement with the new positioning and jongho nods in satisfaction, removing his hand and stepping back again.
âthereâs a wave coming in we could try,â yeosang suggests.
the slight swell of a forming wave starts to appear in the horizon. it doesnât increase much in size the closer it gets, but as it reaches its peak height, the top breaks and turns into a whitewater wave. yeosang is out a little further and so he demonstrates how to push through first, lifting his torso above the break as his surfboard cuts through the wave.
âokay, ready? hold steady, steady,â jongho encourages, helping you time the movement, âand push up!â
you follow his call and straighten your arms to lift your upper body out of the waveâs trajectory, guiding the nose of your surfboard through at the same time that jongho dives under the wave. although your face still gets splashed with some water and your board trembles slightly in your grasp, you make it through the wave without tipping over.
âi did it!â you yell, shakily sliding yourself further up your board so that you can straddle it.
âyou did it!â the boys respond excitedly.
jongho jumps up and down beside your board, prompting yeosang to slide into the water to join your side. you laugh brightly at the sense of achievement and at the sight of the two boys bobbing around you in a merry-go-round of exuberance.
âjust a little more practice and youâll be taking on the monster swells in no time,â yeosang declares. you know heâs exaggerating, but it makes pride bloom in your chest regardless.
somebody calls out your names and you all turn to look. itâs san standing near the waters, gesturing behind him as he yells, âweâre going to walk to the mart to get some ice cream. do you guys want to come?â
âyes!â you shout back, âwait for me!â
ungraciously tumbling off your surfboard in a hurry so that you can pull it back to shore, the boys chuckle at your eagerness. jongho grabs his board from out of your grasp so that he can carry it instead and the boys all trail behind you as you bound past san towards the pile of your belongings on the sand. while you sift through the heap for your sandals, your other hand subconsciously peels your clinging shirt away from your body. you feel the presence of someone coming up behind you and assuming itâs san, you straighten your back with a phone in your hand.
âsan, you left your phââ you start, except itâs yeosang, who bends down to pick up his towel and drapes it around you. itâs warm from the hours itâs spent in the sun and you canât help the pleasant shiver that runs through your body. yeosang tugs it snugly over your shoulders and then takes the phone from your hand.
âhere,â he tosses it to its owner, who falls into step behind you.
san nods his head in thanks and rummages under a towel where your sandals have been hiding before placing your shoes by your feet. âthe groundâs pretty hot,â he says as he offers you his forearm to steady yourself with, patiently waiting for you to do up the buckles around your ankle.
âwait, i forgot my wallet,â you tell him once jongho and yeosang rejoin you after putting their surfboards away.
âdonât worry about it,â san reassures, âhongjoongâs buying.â
your ears perk up and he laughs because he knows exactly what youâre thinking. âyes, y/n. bleed him dry and order whatever you want."
"even a doubleâno, even a triple scoop?" you exclaim scandalously.
san's eyes drip adoration, "yes, even a triple scoop."
you run ahead with a cheer, blabbering jonghoâs ear off about how if you get three different flavours and he also gets three different flavours, then you guys get to share six flavours, before yeosang joins in with excited chatter about how you guys can make it nine flavours if he does the same. you catch up with the rest of your friends and somehow, like a devilish cult, you all start to chant, âbleed hongjoong dry! bleed hongjoong dry!â
the oldest jokes that he only offered to pay for yours, not everybodyâs, so mingi starts to tell you what he wants so that you can order in his stead, setting off a chain reaction as everyone else places their orders through you. they surround you, happy jostles and raucous snickers as you disappear in the middle of the group.
from behind, as san watches you grow closer and closer with his friends each summer, he canât help but feel like heâs going to burst from affection and pride. he knows it will be a while until your parents move back to namhae, as is the same for himself until he graduates. but between his group of sixâ which will hopefully become the full eight next summerâ and the group chat that you all made within hours of meeting each other, san is confident that youâll never feel alone.
âif only wooyoung was here, then weâd have someone to grill the meat properly,â yeosang muses as he watches jongho flip and examine the packaging of the beef. âheâs the best cook out of us.â
âtrust him to be a good cook, too,â you comment.
when you had first met yeosang, jongho and hongjoong, they had told you that there were two other friends who werenât able to make it to namhae with the rest of them this summer. one of them was wooyoung, who naturally became part of the group after attending the same dance club as yunho, mingi and san. wooyoung had then been paired up with jongho during an inter-department project between the department of film & multimedia and the department of drama, growing close to the younger and by extension, to hongjoong, a senior in jonghoâs drama society.
their other friend was seonghwa, they had told you; the oldest in their group and also in the year above like hongjoong. however, seonghwa attends a completely different university along with yeosang, the both of them undertaking a degree in education at seoul national university. they share some senior classes together, as yeosang had transferred from a law degree and had some of the credit prerequisites to jump ahead. and since yeosang is a close family friend of wooyoungâs, the three of them gradually became well-acquainted with each other.
itâs a running joke that you donât need to remember how everybody knows each otherâ you just need to know that wooyoung is the common factor between them all, the person who decided that all of his friends should be friends with each other. so not only is wooyoung a social butterfly, seemingly charming and witty with good looksâ should the boysâ track record stay trueâ but apparently heâs a good cook too. some people really just have it all.
âwhat else do we need?â jongho asks, haphazardly placing a few packets of the meat into the shopping cart heâs pushing.
âmingi said it would be good to make smores at the end of the night,â you answer.
last summer, during the final week that mingi, yunho and san were in namhae, you had all decided to have a barbeque feast and then spend the rest of the night huddled around a small campfire on the shores of the beach. it had been one of your favourite memories, simply basking in the peaceful buzz of summer and slowing your lives down just for one night to do nothing. you had suggested turning it into a tradition, and now that the final week of this summer has arrived, youâre all at one of the few grocery stores in namhae to stock up on food, snacks and drinks for the night.
âletâs see if they have marshmallows, then,â jongho makes a move to walk away.
hongjoong suddenly interrupts the conversation, appearing with an empty trolley in front of him. âget in,â he tells you.
yeosang helpfully points out, âthat sounds like something a man with a tinted white van would say,â at the same time you question, âare we even allowed to do that?â
he beams, âi like to think that until somebody tells us weâre not allowed to do something, we are allowed to do it.â
âi can think of fifteen different reasons right now why thatâs terrible life advice.â
the man simply nudges your side with the end of his trolley and you half-heartedly frown, âiâm really hoping this seonghwa friend is more responsible than you are, seeing as heâs older.â
âi hate to break it to you, but seonghwaâs worse,â jongho grimaces. âmaturity ages backwards in this group, unfortunately.â
at jonghoâs words, you turn to look for yunho, hoping that as the next oldest down the line he can talk some sense into hongjoong. only youâre met with the sight of the overgrown man pushing his own shopping cart with a very cramped but happy mingi sitting inside.
you sense defeat when hongjoong nudges you once more. âi canât believe iâm doing this,â you mutter to yourself as he holds it steady for you to climb into. after all, you think, whatâs life without breaking a few rules?
except nothing prepares you for the absolute madness that unfolds the moment your bottom touches the cold, metal gridding of the trolley. hongjoong quite literally revs the handlebar with engine sound effects, before charging through the aisle at full speed in an apparent race against yunho and his passenger princess. you hold on to for dear life, thinking that this will be over once you reach the end of the aisle. but both racers show no signs of stopping, instead drifting with sharp cornering into the next aisle as you screech. half of you is terrified, but the other half of you is starting to seek the thrill.
âfaster, joong! faster!â you goad when you can see san standing at the end of the frozen section, waving an imaginary chequered flag.
both carts rattle past him in a close match, and as opposed as you were to the idea at first, you argue passionately against the honorary referee and the rival team over who won first place. even jongho and yeosang pick a side and claim that their eyesâ from three aisles overâ are as trustworthy as VAR playback.
itâs no surprise when the ruckus youâre all making gets a store manager sent your way. but by some saving grace, most likely the begrudging understanding that everyone has done this exact thing at one point or another growing up, the store does not kick you out. they let you finish shopping for the supplies you need, but not without the glares of the retail workers following you and your friends regardless of which aisle you try to duck and disappear behind.
with hushed giggles and not-so-subtle elbows in each otherâs sides, your group hurriedly pays and places the multitude of plastic bags back into the trolley. san and jongho take one of the trolleys each and you all walk back to the cars to load the shopping. you would think that a scolding would deter any further misbehaviour, but when you all see the relatively empty parking lot, thereâs only shared smiles of deviousness and glints of mischief.
if anyone were to look at the parking lot outside the grocery store that tuesday morning, they would see a group of seven friends, clad in an eyesore disarray of sweatpants, shorts, pajama tops and slippers, pushing each other around in shopping carts like bumper cars with shrieks of joy, circling around the dusty jeep and banged-up ute that has become an enabler of their connection and happiness.
you may all be doing the very things that your older selves will look back on with exasperated smiles and disapproving head shakes in ten years. but in the moment, you are unafraid; uncaring of what others think, because you have your friends by your side. and this, you think to yourself, is the essence of youth and summer.
you wish you were older. because being older means that youâll have graduated, and being graduated means that you wonât have to fucking study for your fucking exams. you let out a groan and drop your head onto the table, making an audible thump when your forehead misses the thick textbooks and scattered notes, and hits the solid surface instead.
âhey, you need those brain cells,â someone gently chides. haneul stands at the doorway to your bedroom, watching your misery with a fond smile.
âcanât lose what i donât have,â you mumble back.
âtake a break,â she suggests. âdo you want me to get you something from the bakery?â
haneul laughs when your head immediately turns to look at her, your left cheek pressed against the table by the cheeky smile that adorns your face. she chuckles again, âgot it. iâll be back.â
you absent-mindedly listen as the lock of your front door clicks shut and then let out a deep sigh at the silence that follows. itâs been a few hours since you first sat down and started studying but it feels like youâve been reading the same sentence over and over again with no progress. pressing your forehead into the table again, you groan in frustration.
your ringtone goes off and your hand blindly fumbles around for your phone, sliding what youâre relatively sure is the answer button. âyeah?â you say into the receiver.
âsomeoneâs a little grumpy today,â a teasing voice sounds.
âhwa?â you sit up instantly, looking at your phone properly.
it is him, not only blessing you with the deep richness of his voice but also the visual of him in a black tank top as he looks amusedly at the facetime you have answered. âare you still studying?â he asks.
you deflate a little, reminded of why youâve been creating a crater in your table with your head for the past ten minutes. âmhm,â you hum affirmatively. âexcept nothingâs going into my brain anymore.â
âsounds like you need a break.â
âthatâs exactly what haneul said,â you grumble, although youâre not entirely sure why youâre so opposed to their suggestions to stop studying.
âbecause weâre right,â he quirks his eyebrow. âwhatâs haneul doing at yours, anyway?â
âtaking advantage of my netflix while i slave away to pass my exams. but sheâs forgiven since sheâs buying me snacks.â
âthen take a break until she gets back and you finish eating. itâll only be an hour, tops,â seonghwa convinces. âiâll even set an alarm to let us know when time is up and iâll keep you company when you study.â
you sag a little into your chair, shoulders relieving of their tension as you concede, which makes him smile sympathetically, âjust a few more weeks to go until summer and then youâll be free.â
âare you taking up summer school again?â you ask.
after san had added you and all the boys into a combined group chat, you had made friends with the two that you didnât get to meet. you discovered seonghwa hadnât been able to make the trip to namhae last year because he had chosen to take summer school instead. he had wanted to complete some of his degree requirements earlier in hopes of working part-time during his final year to gain practical experience. wooyoung, on the other hand, had had a portfolio due for his film class that required the majority of his summer if he wanted to complete it in time.
seonghwa grimaces at the memory, âno, not this time. it was a mistake, honestly. i burnt out so fast the first semester back that i didnât even end up applying for any jobs.â he points a stern finger at you and warns, âdonât ever think about doing summer school.â
âtrust me,â you laugh, âi have no intentions of ever doing that.â
you appreciate his advice regardless, because as immature as the other boys had made him out to be, seonghwa really does look out for all of you as the oldest of the group. and more often than not, you find yourself gravitating towards him when you need comfort or reassurance. âdoes that mean iâll finally get to meet you?â
seonghwa nods, âwoo as well.â
the screen of your phone suddenly splits to make room for an additional video as somebody joins the call. you hear his voice before his video even buffers. speak of the devil.
âoi! why are you all calling without me?â wooyoung complains.
contrary to the roll of your eyes, a smile makes its way across your face as you respond, âweâre literally calling from the group chat. no oneâs leaving you out of anything.â
and as if his appearance is some sort of talisman, more of the boys start to join the call one by one. even hongjoongâs profile picture appears, camera off and on mute, wanting to feel included even if heâs in the middle of class. yunho and mingi pop up from behind wooyoung, so youâre guessing theyâre busy practising in the studio. you wonder where san is.
someone asks you a question about how your exams are going, but youâre momentarily distracted by the buzzing notification of a text. âhang on,â you mumble, âlet me justâŠreply to this.â
itâs one of your classmates, johnny, asking whether youâre home right now. you had accidentally slept through one of the review lectures earlier in the week and he had offered to give you a copy of his notes. from his text message, it appears heâs close by and able to drop them off now. you reply an affirmative and then click back into the video call, asking, âsorry, what were you saying?â
the drone of shared chatter about exams and the upcoming break fills the silence of your bedroom, like the fluttering breeze of a pleasant spring day. if they were not already so closely correlated to the warm, golden rays and salty spray of the summer ocean, your friends would be springâ the season of fresh air, blooming flowers and thriving vitality.
âsomeone looks happier. who are you talking to?â haneul emerges in your bedroom having come back from the bakery, holding a pastry box.
you didnât even realise you were subconsciously smiling. âiâm facetiming the boys.â
she smirks, eyes glinting with mischief as she waggles her eyebrows suggestively and drags out her words, âi see. so who is it that you like? or is it all of them?â
âquit it!â you pretend to shove her. âwant to say hi?â you turn the screen of your phone in her direction and thereâs a chorus of obedient hi haneulâs as you turn up the volume.
she waves and peers at wooyoungâs video. âwhereâs the baby brat?â
from somewhere within the call, san yells out indignantly, âstop calling me that!â thereâs a slight rustle as he walks closer to take the phone out of wooyoungâs grasp and when you peer to have a look, you can see that heâs sweaty and red-faced from finishing up a routine.
âyou still respond to it, so,â haneul shrugs.
she disregards her brotherâs continued complaints to drop the box onto your table along with a neatly-stapled stack of handwritten notes. âi bumped into johnny outside and he said this was for you,â she explains as you take it gratefully.
at the mention of a boyâs name, wooyoung shoves his nose towards his front camera. he rapidly asks, âwhoâs johnny? is he haneulâs boyfriend or what? whyâs he giving you something?â
even hongjoong flicks a message into the group chat to ask, âwho tf is jonnyâ.
you hold up the paper to show the boys and laugh, âheâs my classmate, guys. and he gave me notes because i missed the lecture.â
wooyoung frowns at your answer, clearly dissatisfied as he complains, âwhy is he giving you notes. andâwhat the fuck? did he hand write them? what a pretentious prick.â
you ignore him in favour of opening the pastry box to see what else haneul brought back for you. âhow did you know i love these?â you exclaim.
she gives you that same, mischievous look from earlier and as she starts to exit your bedroom to leave you to your call and sweet treat, she vaguely answers, âhow do you think?â
from over your phone, the others start to ask what youâve got in the box, allowing a certain boy to easily slip unnoticed into the background. but it doesnât take a detective to work out howâ or perhaps you should say, whoâ told haneul about your recent cravings.
because if thereâs one person who knows you the best, one person who takes notice of even the littlest of things, then it would be him.
hongjoong lightly slaps your thigh in retaliation as your laughter jostles his head thatâs resting on your stomach, which only serves to make you laugh even harder. he lifts his head to grumble, âstop encouraging him, y/n. heâs going to think heâs actually funny or something.â
with a shaky exhale, you wipe a stray tear away, because you donât think youâve ever laughed this hard in your entire life. now that you see their whole group dynamic in action with the complete eight of them, itâs like watching a live sitcom.
wooyoung looks at him with a smug expressionâŠthen proceeds to yank the olderâs sock right off his foot before throwing it into oblivion. hongjoong jolts up and dives for him and they immediately tussle about on the floor of sanâs living room. amidst all of the commotion, san sneakily goes for seonghwaâs socks and youâre glad that you had peeled yours off the moment you had walked through the front door because suddenly everyoneâs socks are a target.
the successful harvests that are tossed away are immediately snatched up by mingi, who hurls them under the table, behind the couch and on top of the television. you think you can see one dangling off the lights too, but youâre not about to snitch. jongho joins the corner you have taken refuge in and yeosang follows soon after, content to stay far away from the havoc that has quickly turned into wrestling. unfortunately, wooyoung is unable to let the three of you watch the world burn peacefully. he yells at the boys, who choose this to be the time to actually listen to him for once, and youâre all left scrabbling in different directions when they dive for you three.
itâs only the first day of summer and the second hour of officially meeting the boys as their full group of eight, but you can already tell that the next few months are going to be filled with absolute chaos and mayhem. and so the summer that marks sanâs third visit back to namhae passes by quickly as you and the eight boys fall into an easy routine. hours turn into days, days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. summer revolves around each other and there is never a moment spent apart.
you join the boys at dawn every day, clad in only a pair of shorts, a tank top and a light cardigan to shoulder because thereâs still a slight nip of the early morning before the sun appears. you watch contentedly as they dance with the ocean on their surfboardsâ a duet of paddling out into the deeper waters and catching the breaks of the swells back towards shore.
the more you watch them surf, the more you start to realise just how much san has improved. you still recall the day san had fallen in love with the way the surfer used his own body and surfboard as an extension of the ocean, and you still have early memories of sanâs lanky limbs flailing as he lost his balance over and over again, trying to replicate the same gracefulness. now, san is not just a dancerâ he is the choreographer; the one who controls the ocean under his board.
as the early morning wears on, the serene crash of waves and intermittent squawk of the soaring seagulls are gradually interspersed with the boysâ rings of joy as they become more interested in pushing each other off their boards and splashing each other, rather than surfing itself. the strongest trio easily overpower everyone else and you shake your head fondly when the others donât learn their lesson regardless of how many times they are suplexed underwater.
when the sun starts to wake up, they join you on the sandy shores, surfboards placed in a rough row so that you can all share them like seats. you lean against whoever is sitting beside you and watch the sunrise until your stomachs start to growl for attention.
greasy takeaway is always the foolproof solution. you share hearty burgers that are too tall to bite into and salty fries that are slathered in dipping sauce, sprawled out on the cool floorboards at sanâs or yours, soaking in the refreshing coldness of the air conditioner on high without a care in the world for the electricity bill that is racking up.
afternoons are for the second round of the meal; bingsoo from the cafe, pastries from the nearby bakery or cheap ice cream from the mart. and after all the food, the best way to digest before you go out again at dusk to catch some of the waves is to take a nap.
the giant puppy pile of tangled limbs and human pillows is arguably your favourite part of the day. even if the ends of jonghoâs hair tickles your nose and your arm goes a little numb from the way san hugs it and your neck feels cramped from resting on seonghwaâs shoulder, you wouldnât have it any other way.
sometimes, when youâre all feeling rejuvenated, youâll clamber into their three cars or happily pack yourselves into two and drive down the coast to one of the other beaches. the drive there is music blasting and scratchy singing at the top of your lungs with the windows rolled down, your flyaway hairs caressing the cheeks of the boys beside you. itâs rest stops to fill up on drinks and dessertâ any excuse for more ice cream and a chance to make hongjoongâs wallet cry.
the trip back, on the other hand, is quiet, the designated drivers pressing softly on the pedals and turning with care so as not to jostle the sleeping passengers. youâre all exhausted and passed out against one another, faces pressed against a shoulder or the crown of someoneâs head. slow music plays lowly in the background as the streetlights start to turn on like a warm greeting to welcome your group home.
and just as yeosang had once said, wooyoung is a good cook. dinner time becomes a bonding activityâ as if every second of summer isnât already a bonding momentâ where you all experiment with different and increasingly complicated recipes. it usually ends up with him and seonghwa actually doing the cooking whilst everyone else eats the ingredients and tries not to accidentally stab someone with the knives, and dinner doesnât usually actually become dinner until eight or nine oâclock.
but it doesnât really matter when, half the time, the post-meal conversations turn into a slumber party after time slips away. if you retire early, youâll sometimes be joined by haneul in your bedroom, who has stayed in namhae this summer. sheâll spill her workplace tea and youâll gossip about your college peers late until the stars have long started to twinkle in the sky.
there are no scheduled bedtimes, no proper mealtimes, no time limits to complete things nor niggling guilt not to complete thingsâ there is no formal routine. but when spontaneity and carefreeness become the everyday occurrence, that becomes the routine.
and as with any sort of routine comes the familiarity. familiarity finds itself in the way san sing-songs wake up, sleepyhead whenever you accidentally sleep in, and instead of shying under the covers at the sight of him in your bedroom, you whine for five more minutes. familiarity finds itself in the way yunhoâs hands hover around the small of your back whenever youâre all walking to the mart for snacks and in the way wooyoung immediately reaches for the flavours he knows you like.
familiarity finds itself in the way you and hongjoong will bare puppy teeth at each other one moment then naturally use the other as a human pillow the next. itâs in the way jongho hides you when san tries to throw you into the water; the way mingi tucks your head into his shoulder when he spins you around in a hug; when seonghwa reminds you to reapply sunscreen whilst dotting the lotion along your cheeks and when yeosang quietly drapes you in his jackets after you get out of the water.
but the thing with familiarity, though, is that itâs easy for it to overshadow other things. rather than realising that there is a shift in dynamic or a change in heart, other growing feelings can be mistaken for familiarity instead. and you donât understand this until you least expect it.
your hands fumble to catch the bottle of sunscreen that yunho has thrown in your direction before it ends up landing on yeosangâs face. heâs taking a nap on the towel next to you, disputing against everyone elseâs remarks that he should take the opportunity to surf considering youâve all made the two-hour trip to dadaepo beach.
you adjust the small umbrella that he brought along so that it covers his upper body, then uncap the bottle and lather the sunscreen over your arms and legs. itâs when you get to your back that you realise you wonât be able to reach all of your skin. san or seonghwa are usually around to help if you decide to forgo a cropped shirt over your bikini top, but theyâre already running far along the shore and you canât be troubled to yell out for one of them.
youâre starting to wonder whether you can get away with not applying sunscreen on your back if you just make sure you lie on it the whole time when hongjoong spots your plight in the form of a blank stare and squeezed lotion in the palm of your hand.
âyour short arms canât reach your back, can they?â
you imitate his laughter with an exaggerated tone, âwho was it that needed my help yesterday putting sunscreen on his back?â
âmaybe i just didnât want you to feel too bad about yourself,â he shrugs and walks over to swipe the glob of sunscreen out of your hands. you roll your eyes, knowing fully well heâs incapable of taking care of you without pretending to cover it up with an insult.
âstop squirming,â he chides. the contrasting cold of the lotion and warmth of his hand sends a shiver down your spine and you try not to dwell on his gentle rubs for too long. heâs meticulous in making sure he doesnât miss a spot, but heâs also careful and deliberate with his touch around the knotted strings of your top so that you donât feel uncomfortable. hongjoong and the word âuncomfortableâ could never be in the same sentence though. but he doesnât need to know that.
âthere,â he pats your back twice like a mechanic would with the hood of a fucking car to signal that heâs finished his job and then callously walks away.
you decide to let him off the hook and settle down on your stomach to rest your eyes for a bit. yeosang knows what heâs doing, because the combined warmth of the sand beneath your towel and from the overhead rays makes you drowsy almost immediately.
youâre flicking your salt-crusted hair out of your face when a voice interrupts, âhi, iâm sorry to bother you.â
lifting your head up to look, youâre met with the sight of a girl around your age, timidly fiddling with the popsocket on her phone. you sit up and give her a polite smile, âthatâs okay. can i help you?â
âum, i was just hoping to ask if he has a girlfriend?â
the boys are all scattered along the length of the beach, save for yeosang next to you, so youâre not entirely sure who the girl is referring to until you follow her finger. sheâs pointing in the direction of hongjoong, whoâs joined some of the others along the shore.
âthe short one?â you clarify, smile fading a little as you shrug, âiâm not too sure, sorry.â
the girl shakes her head, âoh, no. i meant the boy on his left.â
choi san. you now fight to keep the smile on your face friendly when you reply, ânot that i know of.â
the girl thanks you excitedly, walking off back to her group of friends who immediately huddle around her to hear your answer. you look away.
you donât realise youâre staring at san until he turns in the distance and makes eye contact with you. his entire face lights up, eyes disappearing and shadowed dimples revealing themselves under the gleaming sun. wooyoung takes the opportunity whilst san is distracted to swing a handful of limp seaweed straight into sanâs face and a laugh escapes you before you can hold it in. your best friend looks more betrayed by your laughter than by wooyoungâs antics.
the younger turns to look at you with pride and when he sees that youâre laughing, he blows you an exaggerated kiss and sends it flying in your direction with a teasing flurry of his hand. yunho charges in from out of absolutely nowhere and pretends to tackle the kiss mid-air, throwing the imaginary show of affection into the sand where hongjoong immediately joins in and stomps on it with his foot, before sending you a flying kiss of his own instead.
chaos ensues and both hongjoong and yunho run for their lives as wooyoung chases them with his deadly seaweed whip. he quickly realises that the taller of the two will be impossible to catch, so he locks in on the easier target and hongjoong screeches in fear.
you canât help but shake your head adoringly as you continue to watch, eyes landing on san once more when the cat and mouse go tearing past him in a whirlwind of sand. san holds your gaze with a fond smile of his own and you have to remind yourself that itâs normal for the boys to have suitors.
youâre not dating san. youâre not dating hongjoong. youâre not dating any of the boys, and theyâre certainly not yours. so then, why does it feel like they are? but most of all, why does your heart feel equally bitter at the thought of someone asking about any of the boysâŠnot just your best friend?
the sight of the tube of aloe vera gel in the fridgeâ likely placed there by seonghwaâ is a welcome sight. you had diligently reapplied sunscreen to your body with the boysâ constant reminders to reapply but you had carelessly forgotten about your face. youâre paying the price of your mistake now and the red skin across the apples of your cheeks and forehead is tight with a constant, dull throb.
grabbing the tube, you walk into the bathroom where hongjoong is currently blow-drying his hair, having callen dibs on the shower after the beach trip.
âhey, lilâ tomato,â he jests before he gets a good look at your face. âwoah, that looks worse than it was an hour ago.â
you hum as you peer closer into the mirror, âthis is probably the worst sunburn iâve ever gotten before.â
hongjoong ruffles the back of his hair one last time under the dryer before unplugging it and setting it on the rack. he slips the tube of ointment out of your hands and then turns you by the shoulders to face him. thatâs how you find yourself between hongjoongâs front and the porcelain sink, the edge of the countertop digging slightly into your lower back as you watch him squeeze a generous amount of aloe vera onto the tip of his finger.
he murmurs, âhold still.â with a light touch, he tilts your chin up so that he can see the angry skin of your face. the stark contrast between the characteristic roughness of his edges and the tenderness with which he applies the soothing gel on your face right now has you itching to tease him.
âadmit it. you like taking care of me, donât you.â
he rolls his eyes, âand you like being taken care of, donât you. like when you needed your notes handwritten by johnny.â
ever since that one incident, the boys have never let you hear the end of it. they may not realise it themselves either, but really, theyâre just trying to keep low tabs on thisâŠclassmate. even if the way they go about it reflects the emotional maturity of somebody half their actual age.
âi admit itâs nice to be taken care of. what about you, huh?â you challenge, poking his side testingly. âyou like taking care of me, donât you?â
you giggle when he squirms and you try it again to elicit another response, until he suddenly grabs your hand by the wrist.
âand so what if i do?â his words come out easily, but unlike the usual cockiness and flirtatiousness that he jokes around with, his tone is low and serious.
you donât respond because you donât know what to respond; youâre suddenly walking in uncharted territoryâ both in regards to his feelings and your own.
when his fingertips brush the area of your cheeks just below your under-eyes, you canât help the instinctive flutter of your lashes. his eyes stare into yours and you swallow, noticing the way his gaze flickers down to follow the movement. thereâs hunger in his pupils and longing in your chest. you donât move away when he moves closer in.
your eyelids flutter closed once again, except this time in anticipation. his hands still cup your cheek and hold your wrist and when he brings his face down towards yours, you can feel the warmth of his body surrounding and intoxicating you. but as his nose starts to nudge the softness of your cheeks, hongjoong pulls away.
âsorry, iâthis was a mistake. i shouldnât be doing this,â he stutters. and just like that, the moment shatters.
âthâthatâs okay,â you awkwardly smile. âthis never happened.â
he nods without looking at you, âthis never happened.â
youâre glad your face is sunburnt because youâre certain your face would be glowing from the embarrassment and shame you are overwhelmed with. hongjoong turns around before you can say anything else and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone.
quickly, you lock the door and then stand there stunned into a stupor. because hisâŠwhatever the fuck that was, has given you startling clarity that he is right. you shouldnât be doing this. you shouldnât be kissing him when you want san and your six other friends equally as much.
and most of all, it was foolish of you to assume that he actually wanted something more than friendship. if hongjoong, the most flirtatious of them all, doesnât have any romantic interest in youâ or at the very least enough to want to pursue something moreâ then what makes you think you have a chance with any of the boys? what makes you think that any of themâ much less all of themâ would want you in the same way that you have now realised you want them?
in a way, your heart feels more at ease now. knowing that your feelings for the boys will be unfruitful one way or another, itâs much easier to ignore the now obvious lurch in your heart whenever they pull you into an easy hug or tell you that you look pretty. itâs easier to repress the longing you have for them when they help you put on sunscreen or surround your house with mischief and laughter.
you canât tell whether hongjoong is actively avoiding you or whether he is conveniently busy with the other boys, but you suppose time apart right now is good for the both of you. after all, time is supposed to heal everything. and so even as the end of summer approaches and the much anticipated night of the barbeque and campfire tradition arrives, you keep your distance from hongjoong and he keeps his. simply two friends coexisting within the larger group of friends; nothing more, nothing less.
youâre all sitting on a patchwork of picnic blankets and beach towels spread around the small fire that san has constructed, now experienced from having made one three years in a row. haneul shares the towel with you on one side and yunho on your other.
dinner had been greasy meat grilled by wooyoungâs skilled hands paired with cheap alcohol that made you all wince when it went down. it had been finished off with skewered marshmallowsâ the most vital part of the night, as mingi had fervently reminded everyone.
someone had then suggested a round of âtruth or dareâ, which most definitely did not stop at one round. the flushed cheeks and tipsy slurs not only made the dares increasingly bizarre, but it made everyone daring enough to actually do them. as the night had continued on, the outlandish dares slowly trickled off and more of you picked to answer truth questions. with the mellowing ambience of the campfire and the clearing buzz of alcohol in your systems, it was only a matter of time before the night fizzled into calm.
âmingi,â haneul directs her question at the taller, â if you were to date one of us excluding me, who would it be?â
his eyes dart from her to you and then to every single one of his friends. âiâd date you all,â he shrugs. âbut if i had to pick one person, then probably yunho, since heâs been there for me from day one.â
yunho knocks shoulders with him appreciatively whilst joking, âyour parents would love to hear that answer.â
you spot san and wooyoung cringing at the thought and youâre reminded of snippets of a conversation about surfing as a distraction and escape from home.
moving the game on, mingi asks seonghwa when he picks truth, âif you had to pick between love and friendship, which one would it be?â
seonghwa hums for a while, watching the dancing lick of flames. âi think it depends on the situation, because in the end, theyâre not that much different from each other. in love there is friendship, and in friendship there is love. itâs impossible to say that one is more important than the other.â
thereâs a collective boo as he skirts around the question, but you all understand where heâs coming from. it still doesnât stop san from retorting, âthe whole point is to pick one.â
seonghwa chuckles and downs half a shot to appease the other of his apparent half answer, then tosses the same question at him. âwhat about you, then?â
much to his disappointment, san actually has an answer.
âi would probably choose love. i think youâre right in saying you canât separate love and friendship, but the thing that sets a romantic relationship apart is being in love,â he muses. âitâs hard to find friends you love, but itâs even harder to find a friend you fall in love with, so i would probably hold onto that no matter what.â
a few of you subconsciously nod along, words resonating with yourselves. haneul nudges you curiously, âwhat do you think?â
you relax into her side as you slowly formulate a cohesive answer from your thoughts. âi think i would choose love, too. iâll admit itâs a much more difficult relationship than friendship and it often requires sacrifices to be madeâŠit can even mean having to let go of somebody completely.â
hongjoong glances at you, guilt pricking at his chest.
âbut at the same time,â you continue, âwhen you love somebody that much, sacrifice becomes something you want to give and are willing to offer to the other person, and you develop a depth of understanding, connection and intimacy strong enough to overcome anything that isnât always possible with friendship.â
âyou and san are both such gross romantics,â haneul pretends to gag.
âyeah, shoot us for it,â you poke her in the side. âwooyoung, truth or dare?â
âsince everyoneâs picking truthâŠtruth.â
âwhoâs someone youâre sorry towards or thankful for?â
he whines indignantly, âwhy are we suddenly getting so personal,â but proceeds to think about his answer seriously. âif iâm honest, iâm sorry towards everyone. i know there are times i fall short as a friend and make mistakes, but you all always forgive me and embrace my imperfections so graciously. sometimes it makes me wonder if i even deserve you guys.â
there are immediate noises of protest and wooyoung smiles, waving away their words of objection because he knows that heâs wrong. itâs just that knowing doesnât always stop him from feeling a certain way. âand of course, what iâm sorry for goes hand in hand with what iâm thankful for. but iâm also especially thankful for y/n,â he reveals.
your body reacts instantly to his unexpected answer, blood rushing towards your cheeks and ears as he looks at you appreciatively.
âi havenât known you for as long as most of the other boys, but iâve seen how happy and vibrant they are whenever they return to seoul or whenever they talk about you. and i can definitely see why, now. you make them happyâyou make us happy.â
mingi clears his throat, jumping in to add to the youngerâs answer, âwhen iâm here in namhae with you, with everybody, it feels like home.â
a home that heâs never really had until yunho, san, you, and the rest of the boys came along.
âso thank you for giving me a home here,â mingi looks at you earnestly.
if he were sitting closer, you would reach over and squeeze his hand reassuringly. instead, you tell him, âno matter how many years go by, youâll always have a home here.â
âand the rest of us?â yunho jokes, lightly slapping your knee where your legs have slowly made their way into his lap over the night.
âyou all have a home here,â you amend. because namhae is not the same without san, and namhae is not the same without the rest of your friends, either.
you continue asking each other questions, even after midnight has long ticked past and haneul has retired back to the beach house for some sleep. nobody wants the night to end, because despite already having been attached to each otherâs hips all summer, the time you are spending now around the campfire is different. life slows down and the nine of you are the only ones to exist along with the stars and the ocean waves.
âyou know what we should do?â wooyoung pipes up when you are all quietly watching the fire. he grins, âwe should do that thing where we shout at the ocean.â
âjustâŠstraight up scream?â hongjoong frowns.
a smile starts to spread across sanâs face as he understands wooyoungâs vision. âno, like our dreams. regrets. confessions,â san elaborates, making a move to stand and brushing the sand off his shorts.
seonghwa questions, âare we really doing this?â and yet he stands up as well.
âwhen will we ever get a chance to do this again?â
one by one, you all get up on your feet and wander down the beach closer towards the water. itâs silent, save for the crash of waves, while you eye each other and wait for somebody to start it off.
yunho clears his throat, then yells his next words from the very depths of his chest, âi want to become a famous choreographer!â
there are shared giggles at the striking contrast in volume after hours of low, heartfelt conversation, but itâs enough to fill the rest of you with courage and desire to do the same.
âi want my parents to accept that i wonât be a lawyer like they wanted me to be!â yeosang calls out.
mingi takes a huge breath with his entire body, âi hope iâll win the lottery one day!â
you all break out into laughter, happiness and vigour running high through your veins. it definitely feels a little silly and a little childish, but is that not the charm of living in the prime years of your youth and spending it with your friends?
reservations now completely thrown to the wind, the boys holler and yell both serious and unserious aspirations with their entire soul, cupping the sides of their mouths with their hands to carry their voices further out across the waters. you watch them with deep affection and tenderness and your eyes suddenly start to well up with the intensity of your emotions.
thank you for showing me what love feels like. you can continue to love them as friends, and that is already more than you could ever ask for.
taking a deep inhale of the chill of emerging dawn and blinking away the blur in your eyes, you join the boys and yell your heart out to the ocean. your screams blend together into a symphony of dreams and hopes; the swell of the chorus and the pinnacle of the movie.
and even though youâre all half-delirious from the lack of sleep, hair ruffled and mismatched pajamas wrinkled, it feels like anything and everything is possible in this moment. from here on, itâs the nine of you against the world and whatever it may bring.
youâve known johnny since you started attending namhaeâs provincial college. being from a relatively small cohort and the same degree no less, you share most of your classes together. thereâll be a few times throughout the month that youâll find yourselves sitting in the seat beside each other and maybe once a semester that youâll complete a group task together.
heâs easy enough to get along with, conversation sprinkled with terrible jokes and random puns that remind you of yunhoâs silly humour. you know for a fact as well that theyâre the same height too, which sort of makes you wonder whether being tall has something to do with the way their funny bone develops, considering mingiâs humour is just as questionable.
you and johnny arenât exactly distant enough to only be classified as classmates, but youâre not exactly close either. so itâs a surprise when, after summer ends and it marks a new semester, johnny asks you out on a coffee date on the weekend. (except the more you think about it afterwards, the more your seemingly random interactions make sense. why he asks for your number even after the group project is over. why he offers to drop off handwritten notes for you. why he sometimes favours sitting with you as opposed to with his own friends.)
initially, you tell him that youâre not interested, any potential awkwardness dissipating the moment he dramatically wails that heâs been rejected, much like hongjoong had when you had first met him. but then a week later, johnny coolly slaps an envelope onto the surface of your lecture table and struts off without looking back. when you open it, you realise itâs a three-page handwritten essay detailing his pros and cons in an attempt to try and win you over.
it reminds you of wooyoung, when he had made a whole presentation on his laptop complete with photographic and videographic evidence to try and convince you that he was the best dancer out of himself, san, yunho and mingi. like your friend, johnnyâs efforts are honestly a little too hilarious and a little too endearing to reject for a second time, and itâs not like johnny has done anything to suggest that heâs a creep or murderer. so you let him take you out on the date.
he chooses to go to the small, quaint cafe thatâs about a fifteen-minute walk from campus. coincidentally, itâs the one that you and san used to frequent before he moved away to seoul. johnny tells you to try the chocolate hazelnut dacquoise slices, which you do even though you know you prefer the strawberry ones more. the sweet mouthful makes you think of san, always offering you the first bite of his chocolate dacquoise in hopes of converting you to the flavour.
johnny pays for your dessert and drink and you two end up sitting in the cafe long after your plates have been cleared and mugs emptied to their bottoms. it turns out he likes spending time at the beach just as much as you do and he tells you of his summer trip to the maldives for his casual modelling gig. youâre not entirely surprised to learn of his part-time endeavours, considering youâve never seen him dressed in anything less than loafers, chino shorts and a neatly-pressed button-up shirt. plus, johnny is objectively very attractive with his strong brows, chiselled jawline and dark locks of hair.
he offers to walk you home after your date, shrugging off his white button-up and passing it to you when you exit the cafe. itâs still warm enough in the afternoon to not need the extra layer, but youâre reminded of yeosangâs quiet yet perceptive gestures and it makes you smile nonetheless.
the weekend leads to a second date, followed by more time spent together. he finds reasons to see you throughout the weeksâ the sunâs out which means you two should take a walk along the beach; he fell asleep during yesterdayâs lecture which means you two should study at the cafe; he has a basketball match on the weekend which means you two should practise shooting hoops together.
and when youâre not physically spending time together, johnny likes to facetime you just so that he can âsee your pretty faceâ. the frequency with which he compliments you randomly throughout the call is almost on par with seonghwa, who always sweetly observes when you're wearing a new lip tint or different hairstyle.
johnnyâs laugh, be it in person or over video call, never fails to make you laugh with him. itâs boisterous when he doubles over with laughter and his eyes disappear when he chuckles. you canât help but see jonghoâs own adorable giggles in him.
after several months of courting advances, johnny asks to make it official. you say yes, because you have fallen for him.
and so, like the dwindling campfire that had marked the end of summer, you snuff out the remains of the fire in your heart that has been burning for san, hongjoong and the six other boys, leaving the last of the embers to their fate. left alone, they will slowly die out, completely extinguishing the flames and leaving only ashen remnants behindâŠor the sparks will continue to fight unnoticed; until they rekindle and turn into an uncontainable inferno.
âwith all due disrespect, his parents donât fucking deserve to be parents,â wooyoung spits out.
yunho tucks the blotchy aftermath of mingiâs heartbreak a little tighter into the crook of his own neck, other hand softly tousling the ends of the youngerâs hair. the boys have only just managed to settle mingi into one of the beds in their shared dorm rooms after he had shown up at the dance studio barely holding it together by his last thread.
âi donât think any of us had high hopes for them, considering the things heâs told us about them over the last few years,â seonghwa sighs as he pulls the blanket over mingiâs shoulders.
âbut for them to just fucking disown him like that? do they even realise how much it took for him to come clean about us?â
san gently pulls wooyoung away from the bed, lest he wake up the boy in question, and massages his clenched fist open. yeosang sidles up to the pair, âdo you think we could go down to namhae a few days earlier this summer?â
âthat actually might be possible,â san chews on his bottom lip and takes out his phone to text his parents. âitâll be a nice surprise for y/n, too.â
âsheâs in for a few surprises,â jongho comments before nudging the boy next to him. âhopefully you didnât scare her off after what you did.â
hongjoong scratches the nape of his neck at the jab, âyeah, i hope i didnât fuck things up for all of us.â
âyou still havenât talked it out with her?â san looks up from his phone.
hongjoong grimaces, âno, but how could i? she said to pretend that it didnât happen.â
âand you just took her word for it? god, thatâs literally the universal response anyone would automatically give in a situation thatâs utterly and mortifyingly embarrassing,â wooyoung throws his arms up into the air. âi wouldnât be surprised if she says no to us after all.â
âlook, iâll talk to her when we see her again. the semesterâs nearly over, anyway.â
san nods, âmy parents are fine with us going down a weekend earlier. and i agree with hongjoong on this oneâitâs probably something they should talk about in person, not over the phone. letâs just hope we havenât missed our timing with this.â
thereâs only a few more weeks left until summer, minus one week now that they have decided to make the trip down to namhae earlier for mingiâs sake. and regardless of what your answer will be to the question that theyâll ask youâ be it yes or noâ it still wonât change the fact that everything will be okay once they get to namhae. because everything is okay as long as you are by their side.
thereâs a man standing by your side, and itâs not one of them.
itâs strange to see you holding hands with someone that they donât know. of course, itâs inevitable that you would have your own friends in namhae and from college, and of course itâs inevitable that you would have friends of both genders. but the way you have your fingers interlocked with his looks anything but platonic.
the boys are familiar with the way their own hands feel with yours nestled in theirs; from when you squeeze yourself between two of them and happily swing your intertwined hands back and forth; when a large wave threatens to topple you over and you instinctively reach for them for support; when youâre curled up against them and absentmindedly fiddling with their fingers whilst watching a cheesy summer romcom. but right now, their own hands feel unfamiliarâ oddly empty and unable to make up its mind as to whether it wants to relax or tighten into a fist, even more so when you make eye contact with them standing outside sanâs house and freeze.
you havenât told the boys about johnny yet, only that you had news you wanted to tell them in person once they came for the summer. but now that they are here, standing right in front of you and your boyfriend, you suddenly feel a prick of guilt that you hadnât given them a heads up of some kind.
you slip your hand out of johnnyâs grasp under the guise of tidying your hair. if johnny notices, he doesnât comment on it. instead, he asks, âyou know them?â and settles his arm heavily over your shoulders. the action probably looks as territorial as it feels.
âyeah, theyâre my closest friends,â you answer louder than you need to, because you feel like you have to defend themâ or yourself. âsanâs from namhae, too, and the others are from different provinces. they go to college together in seoul.â
âoh,â your boyfriend makes a noise, âitâs them.â
hongjoong feels awfully smug at that comment, because it means that youâve talked about them before. he feels even more pleased when you slightly step out from under the manâs arm. but then your next words have his expression darkening again.
âi was going to officially introduce him to you guys on your first dayâŠi just wasnât expecting it to be today,â you gently place your hand on johnnyâs forearm. âthis is johnny, my boyfriend.â
immediately, the boys recognise his nameâ how could they forget, when the name has never once left their subconscious since the moment he was mentioned. a fleeting thought enters hongjoongâs mind. if he had not pulled away that nightâ if he had kissed you instead of being a cowardâ would it be him standing by your side as your boyfriend right now?
and hongjoong is not alone in his thoughts. wooyoungâs teeth grit together as he wonders how different things may have turned out if only the older or he himself had been bolder with their feelings. if only any of them had plucked up the courage to make the first move. because you dating any of them would automatically put their heart infinitely more at ease than the literal fucking stranger who is standing by your side.
youâre about to tell your boyfriend the names of the eight boys in front of you when he raises an eyebrow at you, âyou didnât tell me your friends were all guys.â his tone isnât accusatory, per se, but itâs definitely not cordial, either. this side of johnny is completely new to you.
seeing the flustered look on your face irks wooyoung in every way possible so he interrupts, âand why does it matter to you?â
johnny levels him with a look for several seconds before smiling placatingly. âyouâll understand when you get a girlfriend,â he dismisses.
immediately, thereâs a palpable spike in tension. âsorry?â wooyoung scoffs.
san sets a firm hand on the back of wooyoungâs neck and you lowly murmur your boyfriendâs nameâ respectively scruffing the two men. you didnât know what to expect introducing your friends and boyfriend to each other. but the start of what looks like it has the potential to turn into a fight was definitely not on the list.
in a lame attempt to change the topic, you comment, âyou guys are here early this year.â
thereâs a beat of silence thatâs a split second longer than you deem comfortable and yunho clears his throat, âyeahâŠthings ended up this way.â
the vague comment and pointed look in your boyfriendâs direction tells you that thereâs more to it than they are letting you onto right now. you make a mental note to talk to them once johnny leavesâŠif he ends up leaving. but the heavy weight that is still draped around your shoulder shows no intention of removing itself.
even though your instinct is to run up to the boys and receive all the hugs you have missed, and their instinct is to pull you away from the unfamiliar man and back into the intimacy of their group, the arm around you is a stark reminder to everyone that youâre not single anymoreâ that there are now boundaries to respect. instead, your friends are left to shuffle awkwardly on the spot with wavering gazes as if they have caught you doing something they werenât supposed to see.
âdo you have classes today?â san dares to ask.
ânot today. we were justâŠout,â you reply. on a date, it goes unsaid.
âwell, weâre headed for the beach,â san hates the fact that he even has to ask his next sentence, âdo you want to join us?â
looking at johnny, you hate the fact that your immediate answer isnât to say yes. he glances at you and then answers on your behalf, âweâll join. itâll be nice for us to get to know each other, since it seems like weâll be seeing each other often this summer.â
ânot if you donât show up,â wooyoung mutters under his breath, but heâs not really trying to be quiet about his disdain.
you fake a smile and push your boyfriend towards the entrance to your house. âweâll get changed and then meet you guys down at the beach.â you donât wait for an answer before shoving the front door open and shut again in quick succession behind you.
âwait here,â you tell johnny, âiâll get you a spare pair of shorts,â then you disappear into your bedroom and let out a deep exhale, closing your eyes to clear your head.
you had spent the last few years embracing the changes in your relationship with san. every summer marked a change in your friendship groupâ a new chapter each year as you rewrote the group dynamics with additional people to love and be loved by.
this summer, like the others, also marks a change and beginning of a new chapter, but now youâre realising that not all chapters in a story will always be happy. instead, some chapters will mark the beginning of the complication.
it feels like an unusual mix between deja vu and an out-of-body experience as san straps the leash of his surfboard around his ankle. his gaze follows your form and he watches silently when youâre picked by the waist and tossed into the ocean. it looks all too familiarâ except instead of him being the one who brings the laughter out of your squeals, itâs that annoyingly tall and irritatingly jacked dude that is your boyfriend.
san canât help the sigh that escapes his lips as he peels his eyes away. if johnny makes you happy, then objectively, san wants nothing more for you. but he cannot help but feel that you are undeserving of anything less than the entire world; something he and his boys are willing to give to you. but life is all about timing and it seems like theyâve missed theirs.
heâs distracted by the sight of you and johnny in his peripheral vision, even as he paddles out into the deeper waters with yunho. the taller is uncharacteristically quiet, his eyes repeatedly flickering back and forth between you and mingi. mingi needed this trip more than any of them combined, but thereâs an uneasy feeling in the pit of yunhoâs stomach thatâs telling him the appearance of your boyfriend is only just the beginning of a rocky summer.
regardless of their combined years of surfing experience, both yunho and san seem to continuously lose their balance on their boards today. and despite the saltiness of the sea water that flows into sanâs mouth each time he fallsâ no longer the graceful choreographer of the seaâ thereâs a bitter taste on his tongue that he cannot get rid of no matter how many bottles of water he drinks over the rest of the day.
it follows him even when the sweet fragrance of fresh pastries and syrupy drinks permeates the air the moment he walks into the bakery you so adore after your group walks from the beach. san pulls the glass door open for you, wind chime tinkling softly overhead, and he has to resist the urge to let go of the door handle when your boyfriend also walks through without so much as a word or glance of gratitude.
before san walks up to the counter, he instinctively turns around to check your order before he adds it to his own like he has always done. âstrawberry dacquoise and grapefruit ade?â
youâre about to nod when johnny steps into place beside you and asserts, âshe likes the chocolate ones.â
san keeps his voice as even as he can and refutes, âno, y/n prefers the strawberry ones. i would know, considering weâve been going to this cafe together since we were twelve.â he emphasises the last word, clearly telling the other that he is the one who has known you since you were young and therefore knows you the best out of anyone, boyfriend be damned.
not backing down, johnny turns to ask, âis that true, babe?â
you swallow uncomfortably, mouth suddenly dry. âi like both,â you evade.
but your lack of denial says more than enough and johnnyâs frown deepens almost immediately. at his expression, you rush to amend, âi know you like the chocolate ones more. it makes me happy sharing them with you.â
âyou shouldâve told me,â johnny fusses. but opposed to disappointment at not having known your preference for strawberry, he seems more displeased at having discovered this fact through your male friend.
san notices how apologetic you start to feel and he absolutely despises how unfamiliar it looks on your face. if this is the type of boyfriend that he is giving you up to, then san is not prepared to let go of you at all.
âor maybe you shouldâve noticed,â he shrugs nonchalantly in your boyfriendâs direction before smiling tenderly at you. âiâll order your food. go find a seat with seongââ
johnnyâs voice is heated when he interjects, âno, you wonât. iâll pay for my girlfriendâs food.â
youâve never heard him talk with this tone before, much less seen him act this way, but his words suddenly strike you with clarity and reasoning. with a relationship comes adherence to mutual boundaries and expectations, and although san is used to doting on you, the reality now is that johnny currently fulfills that role as your boyfriend.
âitâs alright, san. thank you,â you give your friend a soft smile. âjohnnyâs got it for me.â
san nods, defeated. your boyfriend gently nudges you in the direction of the tables, âgo sit down. iâll bring our order over when itâs ready.â
on edge, you walk to where some of the boys are already seated and slide in beside seonghwa, who has been watching the entire exchange silently. ây/n,â he starts.
you plaster on a smile, âitâs okay.â
seonghwa studies you carefully for a moment, then appears to make up his mind about something and returns your smile. except anybody can see that it doesnât reach his eyes. âdo you want to swap seats with me? that way you and johnny can sit on the same side.â
grateful for his thoughtfulness, you change seats and sit on his left just as wooyoung joins the table with an iced americano in his hand. he sets it down to drag a spare chair beside him, offhandedly commenting, âwhy are you even dating him? i donât get what you see in him.â
he hisses when seonghwa kicks his shin from under the table, shaking his head, and you just give the younger a tight-lipped smile in response. youâre distracted by the buzz of your phone in your pocket. a quick glance downwards tells you that itâs a text from san.
sorry for putting you between your bf and i
you look up in surprise and find that heâs already gazing at you from where heâs waiting at the counter. his eyebrows knit together in apology and you shake your head, mouthing that itâs okay. san has always been the bigger person in any situationâ with you, with friends and family, and even with people he doesnât necessarily see eye to eye with.
your phone buzzes again, twice in succession, but this time the notifications arenât from him. itâs johnny.
whatâs his problem, god wants to get into your pants or sth
your boyfriend continues to tap away at his phone, expression marred with poorly concealed irritation. but he doesnât seem to be referring to your texting exchange with sanâ you donât think heâs even noticed. instead, heâs still hooked on the ordering incident.
slipping the phone back into your pocket and pretending you have not noticed the messages yet, you simply wait for johnny to grab the tray with your pastries and drinks before he slides into the chair next to you. and for the first time since dating, you find yourself comparing your boyfriend not to san, but against him.
it feels like you have spent the last two months treading carefully on eggshells. there are days you spend with both johnny and the boys and it becomes clear to everyone pretty quickly that theyâre not warming up to each other. despite your best efforts to bring them closer, there is unmistakable tension that underlies every interaction that they have and donât have with one another.
then there are the days you spend with just your boyfriend. he doesnât mention your friends and neither do you, but you notice the way his gaze flickers to your phone whenever it lights up with a notification. like a mutual taboo, he simply continues the conversation after a pause and you donât point it out.
and then there are the rarer days that you spend with just the eight of your friends, like todayâ the ones that feel like the old summers that you have started to yearn. and yet, even with the familiar essence of the past, you start to notice them. the subtle differences.
itâs not obvious at first. the casual displays of affection that have extended beyond habitual touches and have just become who they are are still there. but thereâs something about the attentiveness with which seonghwa dusts the powdered sugar off of yeosangâs cheeks when heâs eating. or in the naturalness with which wooyoung moulds himself into sanâs side when they sit on the couch. something in the way mingiâs entire body relaxes whenever yunho gently thumbs the nape of his neck, and in the softening of hongjoongâs eyes when jongho speaks up in conversation.
maybe itâs because you find yourself no longer a part of their shared love, regardless of how platonic it may be between you and the boys. ultimately, itâs easier to notice things when youâre watching on as what feels like an outsider. and it makes sense that the dynamics of your friendship would change, considering how deeply embedded physical affection is within your group and the fact that you now have a boyfriend, but thereâs something more to their interactionsâ youâre sure of it. you just canât put your finger on what exactly.
itâs that thought that reminds you of yunhoâs words when he and the rest of your friends had turned up a week before the start of summer. âwhat did you mean about things having ended up this way when you guys came down to namhae early?â you suddenly ask, eyes looking away from the television screen where the round of their game has just ended. âand wasnât there something else you guys had wanted to tell me about?â
clearly not having expected your questions, yunho blinks as he formulates a response, âyeah, there is. justâmaybe talk to mingi first. youâll probably want to hear it directly from him.â
and hongjoong needs to talk to you first, too, yunho thinks to himself. except, he wonders whether there is even a point to it anymore.
your heart sinks at yunhoâs words because you have a feeling it has to do with mingiâs parents. and his parents are never good news. right at that moment, mingi emerges through the doorway after his shower, a towel draped over his shoulders as he uses its ends to roughly dry his hair. he stops in his tracks when he notices you and yunho staring at him.
âi know iâm hot but you donât have to make it that obvious,â he jokes.
you snort and shake your head, getting up to your feet and walking over to him as yunho watches knowingly. âcome sit outside with me for a bit?â you ask mingi.
he agrees, pulling the towel off and tossing it onto the back of a chair to dry. you catch a whiff of sanâs shampoo when he moves, the fragrance of cedarwood and bergamot that all the boys end up being scented with each summer filling your nose.
the two of you sit on the embankment just outside sanâs house, legs dangling off the edge of the port. you can just barely toe the start of the sand but mingi easily shuffles his feet in it, drawing lazy patterns in your company. after a few minutes of peaceful silence, he nudges you gently albeit playfully, âdid you want to ask me something?â
you chuckle at having been exposed and nudge him back in response. he never budges, torso bigger and more muscular than you can move, but it doesnât stop you from trying and him from laughing endearingly.
âi asked yunho why you guys came down earlier this summer and he said to ask you,â you peer at him, treading carefully with your next words, âis everything okay?â
he takes a breath, exhaling long and slow. âi came out to my parents,â he reveals. âtold them iâm bi andâŠthey didnât take it well.â
mingi doesnât need to elaborate for you to understand that his parents didnât just ânot take it wellâ. you can only imagine the hell that broke loose. âoh, mingi,â you sigh, eyebrows knitting together with hurt.
âi also told them that iâm datiââ
the sound of the door opening and the call of your name stops mingi from finishing his sentence. itâs yunho with a ringing phone in his hand. âyou might want to take this call,â he alerts you.
frowning, you make a stand to reach for your phone, asking, âwho is it?â
he glances down awkwardly at the screen that is still on. âyour boyfriend.â
youâre just about to slide the answer button when the call disconnects and you see that including the one that has just ended, you have four missed calls.
âoh, shit,â you canât help the curse that slips out of your mouth. four missed calls is never a good sign from anybody, much less your boyfriend, who has also sent you several texts asking where you are.
seeing the darkening of your expression, yunho misses the girl whose biggest worry was the number of ice cream scoops to scam hongjoong out of. he misses the girl whose smile was brighter than the reflected sun on sanâs surfboard. most of all, yunho misses the girl he has fallen in love with.
ây/n, iâm going to be honest with you,â he hesitates slightly. âi donât think heâs the right one for you.â
you know that yunhoâs looking out for you and his heart is in the right place, but itâs not what you want toâ or need to hear right now. and perhaps, thereâs an inkling of you that already knows. still, you try to keep your voice even when you reply, âiâd know if heâs not.â
you turn to mingi next and shoot him an apologetic look, âiâm sorry but i should probably call him back. weâll talk later, yeah?â
mingi doesnât know when later will be and neither do you. but he simply nods and lets you go, watching dejectedly as your form disappears back into your house at the same time san steps out of his. he had been carefully observing from the window the moment yunho had walked out with your incessantly ringing phone in his hand.
âguess he takes priority over us now,â mingi sighs.
san looks at him bittersweetly, âthatâs what happens when you find somebody you love. like johnny is her priority, you are my priority and yunhoâs. in fact, youâre the priority of five other people as well.â despite the fact that he is shorter, san still reaches up to flick mingiâs nose affectionately as he fondly states, âarenât you lucky.â
mingi scrunches his nose in retaliation and san diverts the topic, ânow come on, are you going to just stand back and let yunho win the game again?â
the younger grins, light returning to his eyes as he cheekily suggests, âyou distract him while i cheat?â
âiâm right here,â yunho protests, but heâs shaking his head dotingly. together, he and mingi make their way back into the house, hands finding each other as they pass through the threshold.
san lingers behind and stares at the closed door of your house. for the longest time, you have been one of sanâs priorities, if not the priority. over the last few years, the number of his priorities have steadily grown and you now share the top of the list in his heart with seven other boys. your happiness is sanâs priority, as is the happiness of the others.
but what happens when interests start to conflict and your boyfriendâ and by association, youâ becomes a reason for unhappiness amongst the people he cares so dearly for? what happens if there comes a day where he must choose between his priorities and push somebody down the list, or worseâŠcompletely out of his heart?
youâre just as troubled when, half an hour after his missed calls and your subsequent response asking to meet up, you and johnny aimlessly wander the streets of the neighbourhood. the air is tense and despite the cry of cicadas, the silence from the lack of conversation is the only sound that you can hear. you can tell that heâs displeased by the fact that you had been with your friends, but youâre not exactly happy with him right now either.
you know an argumentâs brewingâ one that has been long coming, perhaps since the start of summer. you could have chosen to take the night to cool down, but it will eventually boil over one day, be it him or yourself. better to address it now than wait until itâs too late, and perhaps you can salvage it before it does boil over.
âwhy did you call me so many times?â
johnny knows youâre not only asking about tonight, and definitely not only about his phone calls. and yet, your tone is not accusatory, only genuinely curious and open to understanding his reasoning and emotions. solely because he feels guilt starting to prick his insides at your question does he make an attempt to reign in his childish jealousy that has reared its head so many times in the last two months.
âi didnât know where you were,â he halfheartedly answers. âi thought something had happened.â
you both know itâs a lieâ a pretty bad one at that. you had texted him just mere hours ago telling him that you would be at sanâs. at his excuse, you raise an eyebrow.
âi donât like the way they look at you,â johnny finally admits, partially showing his true colours. âespecially san.â
you had guessed just as much and you can see why he might feel that way, but you want him to see where youâre coming from, too. âwe grew up together, johnny. weâre each otherâs best friend and he doesnât like me like that.â
warm breath ghosting over your lips and then disappearing just as fast flits across your memory. ânone of them do,â you emphasise. âand iâve been transparent about hanging out with them when youâre not there, havenât i? i literally texted you a few hours ago.â
he hesitates, âi was busy playing basketball with my friends. i missed your text and then you didnât reply or answer my callsâŠâ the way his voice drops off the more he talks is a good indicator that he knows the patheticness of his justification.
âand i was busy with my friends, too,â you reason. âyouâre not glued to your phone, and neither am i.â
you continue when he stays silent, âyouâre my boyfriend and i understand that it can make you feel uneasy when i hang out with so many guys, but you have to understand that theyâre my friends, and my closest ones too. i would appreciate it if you give me more space when iâm with them, but iâll also try to make sure iâm reachable on my phone so you have a piece of mind.â
you look at him and search his eyes for any indicators that he has more to say. from the way his jaw clenches subtly, you know that heâs disgruntled at best. but to your surprise he does not protest, instead nodding and walking you back to your house. you canât tell whether the silence this time is slightly better or just as suffocating.
when you reach your front door, the lights are still on in the neighbouring house and you can hear the muted ruckus of laughter. as you unlock your door and pull it open, your boyfriend surprises you once more by calling out, âi love you.â
you learn a lot about a person simply from the things that they say, and sometimesâ
âi know,â you reply gently, before shutting the door.
âyou learn even more about a person simply from the things that they donât say.
itâs two weeks after your conversation with johnny when he runs into some of the boys at one of the beachside cafes without your presence.
with autumn just around the corner, youâre spending the day transitioning the rice seedlings, now almost at the height of your thighs, from the wet paddies to the drier fields since your parents arenât in namhae to do it. only mingi, yunho and jongho are helping you out; you had discovered the hard way last summer that letting all eight of them help you was, in fact, counterproductive when there were more plants being trampled on than safely moved.
and so while the four of you are working in the rice paddy, the remaining boys sit on the cafe terrace that overlooks the beach about a ten-minute drive from your and sanâs houses. a hush suddenly falls over their conversation, elbows inconspicuously nudging one another and shoulders tensing when they spot your boyfriend making his way towards the cafe with a small group of his own friends.
a smirk graces johnnyâs lips when his gaze falls upon the five of your friends, ignoring the courteous nod of acknowledgement that seonghwa attempts to make on their behalf and instead walking closer onto the cafeâs terrace. itâs not clearly audible, but itâs definitely direct enough for the boys to make out the words when johnny walks past and mutters, âfuckinâ pussies.â
wooyoung immediately reacts. âwhat the fuck did you just say?â he growls threateningly as seonghwa squeezes his thigh in anticipation of him standing up.
johnny pauses to look at them with faux innocence, âi wasnât talking to you guys, but i guess if youâre offendedââ
itâs hongjoong who rises to his feet first, chair screeching as it slides out from under his knees along the wooden deck. âyou say one more fucking word,â he starts, eyes thunderous and fists turning white at his sides.
âand youâll what,â johnny sneers, ârun to my girlfriend crying? ask her to have a little talk with me?â
at the mention of you, both san and wooyoung join hongjoong on their feet. âwatch what you say,â san looks at him dangerously. âdonât bring y/n into this.â
the commotion is starting to attract the attention of the staff and other customers in the cafe. seonghwa slowly stands, preparing to step in before it can escalate into something physical as yeosang grips the seat of his chair.
johnny steps closer and scoffs, âthatâs bullshit. you guys canât even take care of your own feelings so you have to hide behind my girlfriend like a bunch of pathetic losers. it makes no fucking sense for her to ask me to leave her alone when sheâs with you guys.â
âand i bet itâs never fucking crossed your mind that maybe itâs an issue with something youâre doingânot us,â wooyoung reciprocates with his own bold step closer.
heâs suddenly jerked forward when johnny fists the front of his shirt and instantly everyone moves in towards the two. seonghwa wedges his arms against their chests to prevent wooyoung from getting dragged further forward, though the younger is fiercely standing his ground, teeth bared and eyes murderous. save for yeosang, who comes to stand protectively behind him, the remaining two boys are swept up into the beginnings of a scuffle as johnnyâs friends step in as well.
âlook at you, all riled up,â johnny goads, ignoring the hands that are trying to keep him subdued. âand she tells me that you donât all want to fuck her?â
seonghwa inhales sharply as he attempts to overpower both wooyoung and hongjoong, who is now extremely determined to connect his fist with your boyfriendâs face. but to many of their infuriation, the fist doesnât get a chance to hit its well-deserved target when thereâs a firm shout over the commotion.
the cafe manager harshly warns, âweâre going to have to ask you all to leave the premises, otherwise weâre going to call the police.â
âwooyoung! hongjoong!â seonghwa hisses. âitâs not worth the trouble. stop!â
there are a few tense seconds of heaving chests and grinding jaws before johnny lets wooyoung go with a shove and hongjoong begrudgingly and slowly lowers his raised fist.
âyou bitches got lucky this time,â johnny glowers. he beckons to his friends with a jerk of his head, still glaring at wooyoung, then kicks a chair out of his way as he leaves the cafe. in the wake of the confrontation, seonghwa turns to look at the manager and creases his eyebrows in apology, bowing multiple times to the other employees and customers too.
the manager nods wryly, âyou and your friends are still going to have to leave.â
âwe understand,â seonghwa replies, beginning to usher hongjoong and wooyoung towards the exit. âweâre truly sorry.â
as the five of them walk out, his eyes dart around anxiously in case your boyfriend and his friends are still lingering around. muscles taut and on edge, seonghwa makes a decision as the oldest. âletâs go home,â he declares, âwe can wait there.â
they pile into the jeep wordlessly and san turns on the ignition, pulling out of the small car park and heading back to his. theyâre only a few minutes away when wooyoung breaks the silence, âso whoâs gonna tell y/n that her boyfriendâs a fucking asshole and that she needs to break up with his sorry ass?â he fumes. âbecause if no oneâs going to do it, then iâm going to tell her the moment we get home.â
âwooyoung,â seonghwa starts.
âno, donât wooyoung me,â he snaps. âheâs a fucking pretentious dickhead and she needs to know that. i donât even care if we donât ever get to talk about that other thing with her anymore. all i care is that he never gets to show his face in front of her ever again.â
seonghwa rubs his temples in frustration. he argues, âlook, i agree with you and iâm not saying we shouldnât tell y/n. but we need to put our feelings aside and think about this rationally, otherwise we could end up hurting her.â
âi think sheâs going to get hurt regardless of how we approach it,â hongjoong snarks as the other levels him with a look.
âthe campfire night is only a few days away,â yeosang points out. âmaybe we should wait until thatâs overâŠyou know how excited she and mingi get about it each year.â
hongjoong protests, âand wait for her to bring johnny along on the day? sorry, but not even seonghwa is going to be able to stop me from sucker-punching him to the ground.â
âsurely sheâs not going to bring him. itâs a day just for us,â yeosang frowns.
san feels their questioning gazes settling on him and he glances in the rearview mirror to confirm his hunch. âi donât know, probably not?â he answers whilst shrugging, turning into the small street that leads to your house. âbut honestly? i think we should wait until after that day to talk to her. i donât see the point in ruining it for any more of us.â
seonghwa agrees and adds on, âand only one of us should have the conversation with her. san, youâre probably the best person out of us.â
san hums in agreement, slowly braking the car to a stop before he turns in his seat to look at the rest of them. âiâll find a time to talk to her and in the meantime,â he looks at wooyoung and hongjoong gently, knowing how frustrated they must be feeling, âwe wait.â
thereâs only a few more days until the campfireâ they only need to hold out for a little longer until then. what could possibly go wrong?
âare you sure itâs a good idea to leave hongjoong and y/n to get the snacks together?â
seonghwa tenderly thumbs yeosangâs lips from out of his teeth, where he has been biting the corner of his lips in worry, and answers, âheâs hopeless at buying all the other things and she knows what snacks we like the best.â seonghwa knows hongjoongâs way of being confrontational is stark and direct, but he also has faith in the other that he wonât prematurely bring up your boyfriend and risk hurting you with the conversation.
you make your way down the snack aisles of the grocery store with hongjoong and it feels both familiar and foreign. there are no shopping cart races or invisible finish flags this timeâ only the two of you and the baskets in his hands as he carries whatever you pluck off the shelves. itâs been a while since youâve had time alone with hongjoong; not since the incident last summer.
looking down at the shopping baskets, you put another packet of banana crisps in before commenting, âletâs get some sweet things and then that should be enough for the ten of us.â
hongjoong cocks his head, âhaneulâs coming?â
â...no,â you look at him carefully, âjohnny is.â
âjohnny? youâre joking.â
you frown at the sudden coldness in his tone, âheâs my boyfriend, hongjoong.â johnny had been strangely adamant about going today and you had also noticed he seemed to be irritated about something. so quite frankly, you werenât about to tell him no.
âand heâs also an asshole, you know that? why are you even dating him?â
you know your boyfriend and your friends still arenât on amicable terms, but youâre honestly getting tired of feeling like you have to justify yourself and your dating life. and considering you have just had a talk with johnny to try and make things better for everyone, you canât help but feel like you are being pushed into a corner yet again.
âasshole or not, at least heâs honest about his feelings for me,â you retort pointedly.
âoh?â hongjoong scoffs in disbelief, âis that what this is about?â
you challenge him with a glare, âwhat do you think iâm implying?â
âso iâm the bad guy now? i thought you liked me. since when did you stoop so low as to throw yourself at any guy who makes a move on you?â
your jaw drops. âyou know what? what the fuck is your problem?â you shove his chest in anger. âletâs not forget that you were the one who tried to kiss me first and you were the one who also stopped. yeah, i did like you, but at least iâm willing to admit it.â
you step in closer, breathing heavy as you continue heatedly, âwhat about you? what the fuck have you done that makes you think you have any right to say that my decisions are wrong.â
hongjoong grits his teeth, âyouâre making a mistake dating him.â
âyeah, you would know something about mistakes,â you throw back sarcastically. âbut then again, you were probably happy to pretend it never happened and forget about it.â
âdonât fucking put words into my mouth,â he warns.
âit seems to be the only way i can get you to talk about us. you have no issues giving me shit about my relationship with my boyfriend, but when it comes to our relationship itâs radio silence for a year.â
hongjoong at least has the decency to look guilty when he declares, âi was going to talk to you about it face to face.â
âwhatever, hongjoong. itâs too late,â you brush him off.
you snatch the baskets out his hands and walk away, no longer concerned over what snacks the boys will have for the campfire later tonight. you just want to get away from hongjoong, so you do exactly that. you leave him alone in the aisle to stare at the view of your back walking further away from him. life is all about timing and hongjoong has long missed his.
hours later, mingi scans the room from where heâs perched on a stool at the kitchen island in your house. everyone is either lounging around, preparing the meat and cutlery or setting up the grill and table outsideâ everyone except for one.
âwhereâs hongjoong?â he asks nobody in particular. he doesnât think heâs seen the other since theyâve all come back from the grocery store.
âheâs resting in my room,â san answers. âsaid he wasnât feeling too well but heâll join us later.â
you roll your eyes at the knives youâre counting out, opting to keep your mouth shut. what san doesnât say either, though, is that he knows something is offâ hongjoong was completely fine this morning and you were definitely in higher spirits.
thereâs an abrupt knock at your front door and you put the cutlery down, saying, âiâll get it.â you know itâs probably johnny so you donât bother squinting through the peephole before pulling the door open and blinking, âyou look nice today.â
your boyfriend has styled his hair so that it slicks back from his forehead, parted down the right side of his scalp. heâs dressed in his usual smart casual fit but has chosen to pair it with accessories to accentuate his collarbones and wrists. he shrugs, âwanted to look good.â
you lead him to the open kitchen and immediately, you notice the shift in the air. a few of the boys give a tight-lipped smile in acknowledgement, but the expressions on wooyoung and san, and even yeosang and seonghwa go blank or two shades darker. hongjoongâs uncharacteristic cold feet suddenly makes a lot of sense to san now.
âyou invited johnny?â sanâs question is eerily monotone. a blunt knife may not be able to cut through rope, but with continuous abrasion and chafing, even the thickest of ropes will eventually sever.
your voice is not entirely friendly when you reply, âyes, san. i invited my boyfriend.â
âand why the fuck did you do that?â
sanâs swearing has you reeling in surprise, but itâs quickly replaced by pent-up stress and anger that has been lingering for weeks and exacerbated by your argument with hongjoong mere hours ago. your entire body starts to heat up when san continues to criticise, âweâve put up with him for long enough, donât you think? itâs one thing for you to date him of all people, but itâs another thing to bring him to this.â
you laugh bitingly, no longer concerned about trying to deal with this maturely. all you can think about is how san is hurting you and how you want to hurt him back too. âso you can bring whoever the fuck you want each year, but i canât bring my own boyfriend?â you retort.
the silence is deafening. nobody moves as they try to process the words that have just been thrown at them. yunhoâs eyes are wide with confusion more than hurt at how quickly this argument has escalated, and he slowly raises his arms out in front of him, âokay, i think we all need toââ
âwhoever the fuckâare we just âwhoeverâ to you?â wooyoung harshly interrupts. âweâve been trying to look out for you and this is what we fucking get in return?â
you know that you wonât be able to take your words back after you say them, but they slip out anyway as you counter, âi didnât ask any of you to look out for me.â
yunhoâs arms fall limply to his sides and seonghwa looks away. wooyoungâs words are resigned and stony when he stares at you dead in the eye and says, âyou know, y/n. we needed this trip this summerâŠmore than anything. but thanks for ruining it for all of us.â then he brushes past your shoulder and slams the front door on his way out.
one by one, the boys follow him out of your houseâ first yeosang, then seonghwa, neither of them able to look you in the eye. when yunho and jongho hesitantly walk past you as well, they give you a small, apologetic wince.Â
mingi still stands in the room. he has been quiet throughout the entire argument but his eyes tell a story of a million words. heâs filled with hurt and sorrow if not obvious by the wetness that starts to well in his eyes. âi guess you were just saying it when you told me i have a home here with you in namhae,â he chokes out.
your own eyes grow hot as you shake your head, âmingi, thatâs notââ
but he leaves before you can say anything else. turning back towards the interior of your houseâ now looking far too spacious and vast without one of your friends occupying every available surfaceâ you are left alone with just san and johnny. the heat of the fight is quickly slipping away, instead rushing all towards your eyes, and you call out sanâs name. what for, you donât know, but your cry is timid and desperate.
as much as it pains san to make a decision, mingi needs himâ his boys need him, and they are his priority now. right there and then, san discovers for himself his final answer when it comes to choosing between love and friendship. he walks out of your house, turning his back on you.
you jolt awake feeling disorientated. your head feels clouded, eyes blurry from swelling and youâre still in the clothes from last night that you donât recall falling asleep in. reaching for your phone, you wonder whether it has already ticked past noon for you to have woken up on your own, except you find that its dead. you roll over with a groan and plug your phone into its charger, then haul yourself upwards.
you rinse the stale taste out of your mouth before walking out to the living room and immediately, youâre hit with the memories and intense emotions of last night. there are packets of raw meat still unopened and bottles of soju still littering the table that you hadnât tidied up. in the aftermath of the argument, you had told johnny to give you some space and to go home. you had then gone straight to your bedroom, covering yourself with the blankets in an attempt to hide yourself from the world and cried out your sorrows until you exhausted yourself to sleep.
you let out a long and heavy sigh, soul still exhausted to the very core, so you turn back towards your bedroom. youâll clean everything up when youâre feeling a little more confident to face the consequences of last night. sitting on the edge of your bed, you reach for your phone. there are a few texts from johnny that you scroll past when something else catches your eye.
itâs a text from jongho, timestamped for 1:17 am. you and the boys rarely have a reason to message each other individually, preferring to use the group chat since there are no secrets shared. although, you suppose, none of you will be using the group chat for a whileâŠ
you tap on jonghoâs notification. instantly, your heart drops all the way to the bottom of your stomach and past it. you think your heart is down in the fucking ground, becauseâ
hey, wasnât sure if youâd want to know or not but i think weâre going back to seoul in the morning
the numbers in the corner of your phone tell you that itâs already eleven thirty, and thatâs when you hear itâ the noise that had woken you up earlier. the distinct slam of a car boot closing shut. you jolt up to your feet, panic coursing through your veins as blood rushes to your ears and drowns out all rational thoughts. you forgo any shoes and throw your front door open to run outside, uncaring of the grit that digs painfully into the soles of your feet.
a brief flash of relief flickers across jonghoâs face at your appearance but you miss it in your frenzy to make sense of what you are seeing. all three of their cars are parked in a line, their surfboards already strapped and secured to the car hoods or in the bed of the ute. the last of their luggage and duffel bags are being loaded and san is locking his front door.
every summer, the boys wait until the last possible second to leave, to the point where you have to forcibly push them towards their cars with fond laughter. itâs only thursday today and summer doesnât end for another three days, and yetâ
âyou guys are leaving?â you ask apprehensively.
nobody answers you immediately. the only sound that punctuates the silence is the forceful slam of a door as wooyoung enters the car. hongjoong accidentally makes eye contact with you and his eyes narrow before he opens the door to his ute and also disappears.
jongho clears his throat awkwardly, âyeah, weâre heading back early.â
âohâŠâ youâre at a loss for words, unsure of how to react to this situation. âdrive safe.â
like a parallel of last night, the boys enter their respective cars one by one, jongho giving you a subtle wave. guilt stifles you for the things you have said to the boys and youâre also consumed by hurt from the things they have said to you. but you know for certain that you cannot just let this friendship fall through the cracks like this.
as san makes his way to his jeep, which is parked at the front of the line as the lead driver, you watch carefully for any sign that things are still salvageable for your friendship. a smile, a glance, a nodâ anything. but he simply pulls his jeep door open like you are invisible.
you hesitantly ask him, âiâll see you next summer?â
san is expressionless but he may as well be glaring at you when he replies, âdonât count on it,â and for the second time of your life, he turns his back on you.
as san buckles his seatbelt in, trying his goddamn hardest to pretend he doesnât see the tears now beginning to fall from your eyes, he tells himself that youâve made your decision and heâs made his. he has chosen his priorities and will give you up, and yet, still he hopes that one day youâll realise you deserve better and break up with johnny. san hopes that youâll come across somebody more than better, even if it cannot be him.
before yunho also gets into the jeep, he pauses in front of you. he fists the sides of his pants to stop himself from reaching out to wipe your tears away. instead, he consoles, âi think we all just need a little bit of time, yeah?â
you nod numbly at his words. youâre forced to take several steps back out of the way after yunho also shuts his door closed and the engines hum to life in succession. unable to do anything, you can only watch helplessly as sanâs jeep starts to pull away and the other two cars also follow.
âtheyâre finally leaving, huh.â
thereâs only one person who would have amusement laced into those words. refusing to turn around in your state, you exhale shakily, ânot now, johnny.â
âyou honestly need better friends. everyone has a stick up their ass in that group,â he comments.
âi said not now,â you warn again, blinking the rest of your tears away when you feel anger creeping up in its stead.
âi shouldâve just punched them when i had the chance to.â
you whip around to face him and yell, absolutely appalled, âjohnny!â
âwhat?â he scowls. âthey were the ones who started it.â
you grow deathly still. âstarted what?â you interrogate, and when he doesnât let up, you step in closer. âjohnny?â
âlook, i ran into some of them the other day. that little fuckerâwooyoung? he was basically asking to be punched. heâs lucky i let him off the hook,â he sneers.
youâve known wooyoung longer than you have known johnny and you honestly find your boyfriendâs recount hard to believe. yes, wooyoung is hot-headed and rash, but he never reacts unless he has been provoked. or in other cases, his loved ones have been provoked.
âdonât you fucking dare call my friends fuckers,â you growl. is this who your boyfriend truly is? is this the person who your friends have been able to see through all this time?
âare you fucking serious right now?â johnny spits in your face, âyouâre defending them? you always take their fucking side even though iâm your boyfriend.â
you spit right back, âand you know what? that was my biggest mistake. i should have never made you my boyfriend.â
johnnyâs expression drops entirely. âare you breaking up with me right now?â
âyes, i am.â you confirm. âweâre over.â
you turn on your heel and for once, you are glad that he has shown up at your house, because it means you are a mere ten feet away from shutting your now-ex out of your life. you fumble with the door, vision rapidly blurring, then walk through and close it behind you. slowly, you lean back against the door. with nothing grounding you anymore, the tears escape your eyes once more and you donât bother trying to hold back your cries.
all too fast, everything has come to a full circle of hurt. johnny turned his back on your friends, your friends turned their backs on you, and you have now turned your back on johnny. your chest shudders and heaves at the realisation, wondering where it all went wrong.
you want to seek out one of the boys for comfortâ seonghwa or sanâ but you only end up dropping to your hands and knees, head dizzy from how hard you begin to sob, when you realise that thatâs no longer an option. you all need time apart, both yourself and the boys. you know. but itâs much easier for them because they are going back to seoul together as their group of eight. they still have each other to lean on for comfort, whereas you are left behind to nurse your own wounds by yourself.
in the quiet of your house with the end of summer approaching in namhae, for the first time since meeting san, you are truly alone. it no longer feels like the nine of you against the world and whatever it may bring. instead, itâs you against the worldâŠand the eight of them.
haneul takes all but one look at you before sheâs making herself comfortable on your couch, tugging a cushion into her lap and patting the space beside her with a commanding air of authority. her expression tells you that thereâs no room for argument, so you sink into the couch next to her.
the bewilderment must be obvious on your face when she asks you to spill what happened with san, because she simply reveals, âsan messaged the family chat when he arrived back in seoul. and we all know he would give up surfing before voluntarily leaving namhae early.â
you slouch in on yourself, âwe fought.â
as surprising as it is to hear, since sheâs never seen you and san argue before, haneul had an inkling that that was the case after her little brotherâs vague reasons. she probes, âabout what?â
you tell her about everything. how you started dating johnny, how the boys came early for the summer and how you tried to get them on friendly terms. how your friends were constantly telling you to break up with him and how your boyfriend was always unhappy about you spending time with them. you tell her about the near-kiss with hongjoong last summer and the confrontation you had with him this summer. the argument you had with all the boys and the break up with johnny. everything.
haneulâs quiet for a while as she tries to piece together your story and her own thoughts. âdid they ever tell you why they were so against you dating him?â she finally questions.
you shake your head and she asks, âthen did you try talking to them about it?â
you slowly shake your head again, slightly ashamed by your own answer. you had been so focused on finding fault in the different ways the boys could have expressed their disapproval regarding your boyfriend that you didnât think of the multiple opportunities you had to work out why those opinions existed in the first place.
âwhat do you think of it all, then? obviously, you would have broken up with johnny for a reasonâor did the criticism from the boys just become too much?
fiddling with the hem of your shirt, you look down at your lap. âhe was a decent guyâŠup until summer and the boys came over. thatâs when he started acting differently and,â you pause, trying to find a nicer phrase before giving up and settling on, âbecame an asshole.â
she nods, waiting as you elaborate, âhe became more overbearing and possessive, especially when i was hanging out with them when he wasnât present. and he was just always so pissed. he was dead serious about getting into a physical fight with wooyoung. and we both know that none of the boys would ever start a fight for no reason, much less a fistfight, so johnny had to be the instigator.â
the way that you are solely picking out the faults of your ex does not go unnoticed by haneul. ây/n,â she stares at you seriously. âare you upset about your break up, or your argument with the boys?â
her question stuns you because itâs quite obviously both, but she stops your reflexive response with the instruction, âthink about it before you answer me.â
you close your mouth and look at your lap again to actually process your own thoughts and feelings. what are you thinking and feeling? johnnyâŠyou had sort of known already that he would not be a constant in your life for much longer. from the moment you had started comparing him against the other boys, it was already the beginning of the end.
but san and the others? they are and have been the sun to your solar system for years; your providers of vitality, warmth and summer who you cannot live without. thereâs a constant, gravitational pull that keeps you all together, except the balance has now been thrown off entirely. you realise what the answer was all along and you quietly admit, âthe argument.â
she places a hand over yours, comfortingly stroking your knuckles as she sympathises, âi think so too.â
promptly, you feel your eyes pricking with the sting of tears and in a moment of fragile vulnerability, you plead to haneul in a shaky voice, âwhat am i going to do without them?â
âcome here,â she whispers.
she pulls you into her, your body immediately going slack in her embrace. you cling onto her like a lifeline, afraid that you are going to drown in your cries of anguish. you donât know how long you stay buried in her chest grieving for the friendships you have lost, but your neck and back are sore with stiffness by the time you calm down. still, she doesnât let go of youâ not until you make the first move to pull away.
haneul continues to stroke your hair, soft shushing noises as she rocks you back and forth with her. when your shuddering breaths have resided and steadied out, she breaks the silence softly, ây/n, i think thereâs more to your heartache and regret than just feeling like youâve lost your closest friends.â
your throat is scratchy when you mumble, âwhat do you mean?â
âi canât tell you because thatâs something that youâre going to have to work out for yourself. but after you figure out your own feelings, talk to them. communication is the first step to solving any problem, and i think youâve realised just how much miscommunication could have been avoided leading up to the argument.â
you know sheâs right, but your chest shrivels up on itself in fear. âwhat if they donât answer my messages or calls? what if they really donât come back next summer?â what if they hate me forever?
haneul rests her cheek on the crown of her head, âif they take a step back, then why donât you take two steps forward?â
her words slowly sink in and when they do, you inch out of her embrace. haneul cannot help the smile that adorns her own face in tandem with the one that starts to peek out along your lips. your face is still red and blotchy but there is now a ray of emerging hope as your voice trails off, âyou meanâŠâ
âyes, y/n,â haneul nods. you feel goosebumps spreading across your body when she affirms your thoughts.
âgo to seoul and talk to them.â
summer passes and autumn comes. the days grow shorter as the nights become longer and the weeks blur into a haze of monochrome darkness. the leaves and flowers fall off the trees, nature gradually stagnating and waning into nonexistence, much like the groupchat you share with the boys that has remained untouched since summer.
in a feverish state of resolution the very same day you had cried in haneulâs arms, you had booked an express bus trip that would take you directly from namhae to seoul. yet, despite telling yourself every weekend that youâll make the trip, the ticket remains unused. whenever you see your last message to sanâ a meek question asking if he had arrived back in seoul fineâ that continues to stay unread, your courage crumples and you reschedule the date for the following weekend.
the cycle repeats itself well into autumn. that is, until he breaks it.
youâve spent the last few days thinking about this very moment. there are only a few minutes left until midnight, which will mark the end of jonghoâs birthday. youâre unable to count the number of times you have opened his chat, typed out a message, then exited without actually sending it.
currently, the text cursor in jonghoâs chat blinks back at you like your own indecisiveness wavering back and forth between messaging him and not. the minute ticks over once moreâ itâs now or never. you let your thumbs skim across the surface of your phone before you can contemplate any further. itâs a simple message; only reading two lines.
happy birthday jongho how have you been?
really, you mean âhow have you all been?â because you cannot care about one of them without also caring about the others.
you lock the screen and toss your phone to the side, pretending you donât care whether he replies or not, as if your phone is capable of sensing anxiousness and will sabotage his incoming messagesâ that is, if any come at all. but jonghoâs last messages to you had been the ones alerting you that he and the boys would be leaving namhae prematurely. surely an indicator that this friendship isnât entirely lost.
the lecture slides on your laptop may as well be written in a foreign language as you restlessly eye your phone, wondering if he has seen your messages. you know it will be fruitless to continue studying, so you steel yourself for disappointment and reach for your phone. to your surprise, thereâs a reply waiting for you.
thanks y/n, iâve been good
itâs simple and only five words, but that in itself speaks volumes to your relationship. your heart skips a beat when the messages in his chat shift upwards once more as a new text comes in like an afterthought.
i miss you
really, jongho means âwe all miss youâ because you can be angry at someone, feel hurt by them, yet still love them all the same.
his confession stuns you frozen, your fingers hovering in place over your keyboard. it fills you with longing for more and hope for what may come, but also fear for what could happen. jongho has taken a small step to meet you halfway and you are absolutely terrified of messing things up once more. with your heart pounding in your chest, you carefully type out your next message, send it and then hold your breath.
can we call?
your fingers repetitively trace the rim of your phone case back and forth as you wait for a reply. thereâs a rising swell of panic that continues to grow when nothing comes and you even exit and reopen the app. what you donât know is that jongho almost trips onto his face in his hurry to untangle his legs from out of his blanket so that he can lock himself in the bathroom to call you without waking the others.
the phone nearly falls out of your grasp when the screen suddenly lights up not with a message but a call. you let it ring for a few seconds to gather your own composure before sliding the button to nervously answer, âhello?â
âhello?â comes jonghoâs reply.
your voices overlap as you both simultaneously talk, âcan you hear meââ âhiâyes, can you hear me?â
âyeah, i can hear you too, hi,â you breathe out, face breaking out into a smile.
the exchange has jongho letting out a giggle and the sound immediately releases all the tension that has built up in your body. your eyes start to mist over as you let out your own bashful laughter, because it is so much more than just missing the sound of jonghoâs happiness. youâre reminded of crashing waves and windswept fringes; heavy surfboards and helping handsâ the summer days when everything was happier and simpler. how did everything end up the way it has?
âthank you for replying to my message, jongho,â your voice is unsteady.
he must hear the way your throat threatens to close in on itself, because his voice is warm-hearted when he tells you, âno, thank you for reaching out first.â and as much as he finds it difficult to express himself, his next words spill out easily. âsorry i didnât do it firstâŠit must have been hard for you all this time.â
and just like that, so comes the first of many owed apologies. it doesnât matter that you have to be awake in five hours to make it to your first lecture, nor that you donât have a perfected script for all the things you want to apologise for. and it doesnât matter that jongho is starting to feel cold sitting on the bathroom floor, nor that he canât hold you like he wants to do. what does matter is that youâre both talking again.
as the night grows older, the conversation eventually flows away from raw confessions of your hearts to familiar topics of your mundane lives. it feels like the normal phone calls you used to have with the boys, except this time itâs only with jongho.
âwhat about you? have you been busy?â
you nod, even though he canât see you over the call, âiâm trying to keep up with classes but itâs hard with all the assignments due soon.â
âyeah, i have another huge film project and itâs taking up all of my time, too,â he exhales, then tentatively asks, âwhat aboutâŠhowâre things with johnny?â
itâs strangely exciting to clarify, âwe actually broke up a few months ago.â
you can hear jonghoâs sharp inhale even from over the phone. the conspiratorial tone of his voice painfully reminds you of wooyoungâs nosiness as jongho asks, âplease tell me you broke up with him and not the other way round.â
âyes, i broke up with him,â you chuckle. âhe talked shit about you guys the moment you all left, so i dumped him.â
âhe deserved it,â he gleefully states.
âonly i get to mess with my friendsâŠliterally.â
the joke is at the expense of yourself, but it feels uplifting to be able to start laughing about it now that you have started making amends, even if it is only with one person so far. knowing you have somebody on your side makes all the difference in the world.
âitâs actually sort of funny you say that,â jongho muses over the phone. âremember that truth or dare question? the one about choosing between love and friendship?â
you hum in affirmation, âsan and i picked love.â
âand look at you, picking us over johnny,â he teases.
huffily, you banter, âpicked you guys even though you all left me.â
thereâs the tinkle of laughter from over the receiver, but itâs cut short by a faint knock. you hear jongho murmuring to somebody before his voice becomes audible again, âhey, sorry, i need to go now. someone needs to use the bathroom.â
you resist the urge to ask why heâs even there in the first place, but you just tell him that itâs okay, considering how late the time is anyway.
âiâll talk to you tomorrow?â
âyeah, tomorrow,â you affirm. the wide smile on your face makes your cheeks ache as you grip the phone to your ear and wait for him to hang up. you hear the sound of rustling as he stands up and turns the doorknob, then thereâs a voice in the background asking, âis that y/n?â
but before you can try to discern who the voice belongs to, the call ends. you donât let the slight disappointment dampen your spirits though and you fall back to lie on top of your bed. jonghoâs last words to you have made you feel like a giddy teenagerâ tomorrow feels too far away.
but his words before his last words also make you feel like a teenager. only itâs not giddiness but the uncertainty and confusion that comes with adolescence as you try to navigate and understand your own feelings about something. in the face of the situation, had you truly chosen friendship over love contrary to your own expectations?
it makes sense at first to think thatâs what has happened, but youâre suddenly reminded of haneulâs wordsâ that there is more to your heartache and regret than just feeling like you have lost your closest friends, and that you need to figure out your own feelings before talking to the boys. if you have stood by your own values and chosen love over friendship, then that meansâŠthe heartbreak that you feel is grief not for lost friendship, but loss of your first lovesâ because you are in love with all of them.
that spark of feelings that had remained for the boys had never become fully extinguished. when you agreed to date johnny, perhaps it was only because he had reminded you of them and you had mistaken the flutters in your stomach for romantic attraction to him. and so, left unattended, that very spark has now flourished into a wildfire that can no longer be controlled, neither can it be containedâ itâs time for you to talk to them.
you pick up your phone again and send out a message, this time with no hesitation. it reads, âi need your helpâ.
and the reply is immediate.
anything you need
itâs the first day of winter when you arrive in seoul.
you get off the express bus at the terminal with both hands empty and only the bag on your back; you donât plan on staying for long so you didnât bring much with you. immediately, your breath fogs up in the frigid air and you nestle more snugly into the warmth of your coat. thereâs a reasonable crowd of people at the terminal, so you crane your neck in search of jonghoâs familiar tuft of brown hair, who had offered to pick you up knowing that this was your first time travelling up to seoul.
the last text he had sent told you that he had arrived and was waiting for you at terminal six. as you make your way closer, eyes squinting to discern whether you are seeing things correctly, you think youâre able to make out jonghoâs side profile leaning against a brick wall.
except, heâs not alone. your footsteps start to falter because seonghwa is also there. ironically, heâs the one who spots you from afar. he pushes himself away from the wall and turns his body towards you as jongho questions whether he has spotted you.
ever since the night he had overheard the younger on a phone call with you, seonghwa has been aching to make things right with you again. he had been afraid that you would want nothing to do with them anymore and that you would slip away from their fingers just like that. but here you are in seoul, just a mere distance away from him.
seonghwaâs eyes start to water and your expression crumples almost immediately with his when he opens his arms with an offer of an embrace. his feet rush to close the distance when you throw yourself into his chest, the cashmere of his coat rubbing softly against your cheek.
âiâm sorry, hwaâ you murmur.
âi know,â he whispers, stroking the back of your head, âme too.â
jongho silently watches with a small smile and allows you both to have your moment of reconciliation with each other. as you breathe in the comfortingly familiar scent of seonghwaâs cologne, you gesture for the other to come closer so that you can pull him into a group hug. and here, surrounded by both of them, despite there being several other things you want to sayâ poems of apologies and ballads of confessionsâ for now, this is more than enough.
seonghwa is the first to pull away suddenly as if he has been electrocuted. âhang on, are you and johnny stillâŠâ he trails off.
despite the snort of amusement that leaves you, youâre touched by his thoughtfulness to maintain respectful boundaries. âdonât worry, we broke up,â you reassure him, then you jokingly turn to jongho with an incredulous look. âyou told him i was coming up to seoul, but didnât tell him that johnnyâs my ex now?â
he rolls his eyes good-naturedly, âthat wasnât in my place to reveal. plus, seonghwa was the one who looked over my shoulder and saw your text asking for my help.â
said man pretends to walk away innocently. you and jongho laugh, trailing after him towards the carpark as you ask, âwhat was he doing in your dorm anyway?â
âhe crashed for the night. our dormâs close to his workplace.â
when you reach their parked car, seonghwa tugs the passenger door open, but instead of hopping in he gestures for you to go first. you indulge in his chivalry with a chuckle, even more so when he places a hand along the top of the door frame in case you bump into it.
âthanks, hwa,â you say sweetly, shuffling in further when he scoots in after you and leaves jongho alone to sit at the front of the car.
âgreat, not even ten minutes of making up with each other and iâve already become the third wheel,â jongho grumbles as he turns the ignition on.
despite the huffiness in his voice, jonghoâs heart sings with happiness to see you and seonghwa already getting along like normal. he is willing to be the third wheelâ even the ninth wheelâ if it means that you and his boys can shine together every day. but for that to happen, it all rests on how the next hour unfolds.
âready to go?â jongho asks, eyeing you from the rearview mirror.
are you? are you ready to talk to all of the boys at the same time? seonghwa gives your hand a gentle squeeze, and jongho nods at you reassuringly from the front; youâre not going into this alone anymore. you nod, âiâm ready.â
the drive takes less than thirty minutes and before you know it, youâre standing right outside the door to jonghoâs shared dorm with wooyoung and hongjoong. jongho swipes and unlocks the door with his access card, however makes no move to push the door open. the fact that neither of the boys say anything to rush you spurs you on with enough determination to enter the dorm. the volume of their chatter increases immediately without the barrier of the door, and you take slow, hesitant steps along the short hallway towards the direction of the sound.
you appreciate when jongho takes the lead to subtly show you where to go but it still feels like you are intrudingâ which, you technically are, considering two out of three people who live here donât know that youâre in the dorm right now. rounding the corner of the hallway, you discover that it leads straight to the living room where all of the boys currently are. so itâs fucking awkward when the sight of you emerging completely kills the conversation and a collective hush settles over the room.
you have to fight everything within you not to turn on your heel and just flee, because nothing has prepared you for their initial reaction. you hate the fact that you cannot tell whether the shocked expressions on yunho and yeosangâs faces are ones of delight or displeasure. you hate the way that wooyoung and hongjoongâs bodies tense and become guarded, ready to tell you to leave their dorm. but more than anything, you hate the way that san and mingi cannot even look at you.
âholy shit,â yunho whispers.
thatâs enough to set off the others and hongjoong angrily questions, âwhat the fuck is she doing here?â
wooyoung looks at jongho, âis this why you told everyone to come over?â
you defend, âi was the one who asked jongho for help.â
âi wasnât talking to youââ
you cut wooyoung off, contrary to your next words, âcan you just shut the fuck up for once? iâm not here to start another fight. justâhear me out, please. iâll leave as soon as i say what i need to.â
he glares at you and everybody holds their breath as they steel themselves for another full-blown argument. but wooyoung does as you ask and folds his arms angrily. nobody speaks, waiting for you to talk as you finally put your bag down and sit a safe distance away.
you close your eyes and take a breath to compose yourself. you refuse to let yourself cry this time. youâve done plenty of that in the last few months and you have finally come to terms with your own feelings. âiâŠiâm sorry,â you start.
somebody scoffs, but you ignore it and let the words from your heart take over. âiâm sorry for being such an asshole over the summerâfor letting my ex get in between us and for ignoring all the times you told me he wasnât a good guy. i shouldnât have assumed that you were all okay with me bringing him along whenever we hung out and i should have asked before inviting him to the campfire. that was something special for us and it was selfish of me to do that.
âin particular, iâm sorry for how that night went down. i know it doesnât excuse what i did, but i had an argument with hongjoong earlier that day and i was feeling strung tight. i wish i had handled the situation better when i felt confronted about bringing johnny along, and i acknowledge that the words i said canât be taken back, even if i didnât mean them.â
nobody needs reminding of the words that you are referring to, because it has sat just as heavily in their hearts as it has your own. the sight of mingi ducking his head down even further has your heart clenching painfully.
even if he isnât looking, you apologise to him directly, âmingi, iâm sorry we never got to finish our talk. i know that you were going through a hard time and that that trip was meant to be something healing for youâfor all of you. namhae was meant to be an escape, but it probably didnât feel that wayâŠbecause of me. i mean it when i say youâll always have a home in namhae and i hope that one day, youâll be able to trust me on that. in fact, i hope that you all know that namhae is not the same without either one of you boys.â
you hesitate, because not even jongho knows about what youâre going to say next. you avert your gaze to focus on the carpet just in front of you so that you donât have to see their expressions. âitâs taken this fightâalmost losing all of youâand breaking up with my ex to realise just how stupid and blind i am to my own feelings. i always thought i would be happy with just being friendsâŠbut you are all so, so much more to me than just friends and âwhoeverâ. i think iâm in love with all of you and i know itâs unconventional, butâŠi guess love has no limits.
âbut iâm also going to be honest. iâm still hurt by the things some of you said or did. it hurt that some of you criticised my decisions without thinking about how that might have made me feel. and i know it wasnât your intention to, but i felt like i was being backed into a corner multiple times when you kept repeating the same things over and over again about my ex without any real constructiveness to your words.
âi donât expect you to apologise right now, nor accept my apology, and i donât expect any of you to respond to my confession. i want you all to have enough time to work out your own feelingsâŠif you want to. if you find it in your heart to forgive me and if you want to apologise, pursue friendship again orâŠmaybe something more, then come to namhae and tell me in person.â
thereâs half a year left until summer, and as much as things can change in six months, you also hope that this gives you and the boys time to work out what you all truly want from one anotherâ be it friendship or love. nobody moves or says anything, trying to process everything you have said so you decide to leave them to it, having done your part. you make a move to stand and sling your bag onto your back.
âyouâre leaving already? where are you going?â yeosang abruptly asks, standing as well.
âback to namhae,â you explain. âi booked a return ticket for the same day.â
san frowns and for the first time since you arrived, he looks at you. âyou came all the way hereâŠjust to talk to us for half an hour?â
you give him a bittersweet smile, âthatâs how important this is to meâhow important you all are to me.â
he looks away, unable to hold your gaze. you turn to jongho to ask if he is still happy to drop you back off at the terminal, who nods and begins to pull on his puffer jacket.
âwait,â yeosang calls out. he skitters off down the corridor, socked feet pattering against the floor as he grabs something from his bedroom and hurries back in front of you. âhere.â
he has a thick scarf that he holds out for you to take, but as you start to reach for it, he changes his mind. you hold your breath as yeosang carefully reaches over your head to drape the scarf around you. with tender hands, he wraps it around your neck before securing it with a knot. he continues to fiddle with the ends of the scarf and youâre starting to wonder why he is hesitating when he looks at you shyly and mumbles something under his breath. before you can make a noise of confusion, he darts off once again back into his room. seonghwa cannot help but smile fondly, because even if he is unable to hear what the other said either, he knows what yeosang means purely by his actions.
youâre accompanied out of the door by jongho minutes later, carrying a plastic bag of snacks and drinks from their dorm that seonghwa has rushed to put together for you to have on your way back. when youâre in the car, you also find a pair of black gloves in the pocket of your coat. you have no idea who put it there, but the sentiment of one of the boys trying to ensure you are not cold is enough to fill your entire body with warmth.
you may have arrived in seoul with both hands empty and only the bag on your back, but you leave seoul with their quiet acts of apologies and forgiveness on your hands, neck, and in the plastic bag sitting on your lap as your bus pulls away back to namhae.
a lot can change in six months, but a lot can also stay the same. it all balances on the peak of the fulcrum, waiting to teeter either way as summer arrives.
youâve kept in touch with jongho and seonghwa, so you havenât been left in the dark anxiously wondering whether they will be returning to namhae or not. but even with their arrival, the uncertainty remains as to which way the scale hasâ or will tip.
so you donât walk out to greet them when you hear the resounding slam of shutting doors and the low hum of exchanged conversation, because you don't know whether the other boys want to see you or not. plus, thereâs something embarrassing about seeing them for the first time after apologising, much less confessing to them without any certainty as to their feelings, and much much less to eight people at once. youâre doing a pretty good job at hiding and pretending you are completely oblivious to their arrival in namhae.
that is, until mingi knocks on your door. mingi feels like heâs fourteen again, knocking on yunhoâs door and crossing his fingers hoping to god that itâs his friend who opens it and not his parents, because mingi feels embarrassed asking them every day if yunho can come out to play. this time, though, mingiâs nervous because itâs you and heâs nervous because six months is a long time where feelings can change. he hopes that yours are still the same.
youâre greeted by a shock of platinum white hair when you open your door and you realise itâs mingi with freshly bleached hair. it looks goodâ a little too goodâ and you have to force yourself to peel your eyes away. except your eyes travel down involuntarily to the contrasting black of his tank top, which is at least two sizes too large and dips down dangerously to reveal the shadows of his chest. youâre down bad, and itâs only been ten seconds since youâve laid eyes on him since seoul.
mingi is looking at you amusedly when you finally lock eyes with him and he seems to stand a little straighter with confidence. he beckons with a gentle tilt of his head, âcome surf with us?â
the casualness of his invite throws you off and you wonder if youâve somehow missed the memo that heâs forgiven you. âyouâre all okay with me coming?â you blink confusedly.
âthe others can speak for themselves,â he puts it plainly, but then smiles, âi want you to come, though. itâs not the same without you. plus,â his voice mellows out earnestly, âsomeoneâs gotta welcome me home, donât you think?â
home. home is where the heart is, and for mingi, regardless of the arguments and fights, his heart will always be with the boys and you. because in anger, hurt and love, there is always forgiveness, and mingi has forgiven you.
shyly, you return his smile, âiâll go get changed, then?â
âis that an invite inside?â mingi leans against the doorframe with faux coyness that manages to make the rounds of your cheeks heat up. you shove him back lightly with a laugh, trying to ignore the firmness of his chest under your touch.
he grins boyishly, utterly pleased with himself, but steps back so you can close the door. âtake your time,â he reassures. âiâll wait for you.â
and he does, just so that you donât have to walk alone to join the rest of the group. even after you have thrown on a swimsuit and slathered yourself with sunscreen as best as you can, mingi is still outside and yunho has also joined himâ you know because you can hear them talking as you search for your house keys in the hallway.
âwhat if itâs too late?â yunho asks.
âyou donât know that, not until you try,â mingi replies. âhere, a kiss for good luck.â
you have no idea what the context for this conversation is, but it suddenly strikes you that apart from mingi, youâve never discussed sexual orientation with the boys. you may have asked them to consider you romantically, but you canât say for sure if they even like girls. from what you know, none of them have dated before, and now youâre suddenly wondering whether any of the boys are dating within the group. mingi and yunho are certainly a possibility.
but regardless, you realise this is probably not something you should be discovering by overhearing a conversation, so you deliberately drop your keys to alert them of your presence and wait a couple more seconds before you open your front door.
for the second time of the day, youâre absolutely floored. yunho has dyed his hair an ash grey and it falls over his forehead and down the nape of his neck in messy locks. there must have been a fucking enticing buy-one-get-one-free deal, because heâs also wearing a black tank top much like mingiâs, except his is form-fitting and putting every damned muscle of his upper body on glorified display.
not that youâre complaining. but itâs also very distracting when youâre trying to focus on what mingi is saying as you all make your way down the beach towards the shore, their surfboards hiked against their hips.
âyou guys go ahead, i think jonghoâs calling for me,â mingi suddenly announces before darting off.
youâre left alone with yunho, and from the back of jonghoâs head who most definitely doesnât even know you three have joined the group, mingiâs plan to slip away has succeeded.
âum,â yunho hesitantly starts, âdo you want to try paddling out on my board? iâll stay close.â
the last time you had attempted anything on his shortboard, you had flipped over and swallowed several mouthfuls of salt water. although youâre not particularly keen on repeating the experience, some things donât need to be spelt outâ the reason for his offer. only one foot is needed to push a bicycle into motion, but two feet are needed to keep it in motion. so you nod and let him drag his surfboard towards the shallow waters for you.
as you trail beside him, seonghwa and jongho greet you enthusiastically on their own boards out in the horizon. yeosang waves too from further down the shore and you lose some of the tension in your shoulders when you know that the intention behind his scarf was not misinterpreted. only san and wooyoung do not directly acknowledge your presence, but unbeknownst to you, the younger is carefully observing your interactions with the others.
âhere,â yunho says, garnering your attention.
he holds the surfboard steady in the water, waiting for you to lie on top. his hands stay even after you gingerly shift and balance your weight onto your front. with his guidance, you slowly paddle out past the rush of whitewater waves. yunho is barely waist-deep in the water so he easily manoeuvres you and the board as you try to recall the familiar motion of paddling against incoming swells. but both of you know that youâre not really trying to paddle and heâs not really watching for mistakes.
eventually, you languidly let the waters caress your body as you still, letting the slight waves gently rock your surfboard. one of yunhoâs arms have shifted over your back to support the opposite side of the surfboard and your body tingles whenever his forearm brushes over you. his other hand rests near your own, your fingers grazing together whenever the board dances over a swell.
it is within the serenity and solitude of the ocean, and the warmth and proximity of each otherâs presence that the conversation happens. yunho apologises and you forgive. it occurs as simply as that, because actions speak louder than words and you have already shared a library of novels with your bodies.
from afar, wooyoungâs internal debate continues to teeter on its fulcrum as he watches the moment you share with yunho. wooyoung may be fast to talk, but he is also keen to observe. he sees the glow of relief and happiness returning to the faces of the boys. what he said to you summers ago still stands trueâ you make the boys happy and itâs obvious they make you happy too. and all wooyoung has ever wanted is to protect the smile of his loved ones, including you.
the radiance of the smile you give when yunho pretends to flip your surfboard over reminds wooyoung of his failure to do just that. in his blindness for the others, he had sacrificed your smile. the scale teeters over the fulcrum and he follows the momentum of his heart to wade out into the waters where you two still are, his apology ready to spill out.
and so you discover that a lot can change in six months, but a lot can also change in one day. with each relationship that stitches back together, rips now reinforced and sturdier than before, namhae almost feels the same againâ summer almost feels the same again. you may still have the two hardest conversations left to be resolved, but if more time is what they need, then you are willing to wait for san andâ
yunho and wooyoung scramble to steady your surfboard before you actually tip over when you suddenly move to kneel, head whipping around to confirm your fears. you hadnât initially noticed as the boys had been scattered, intermittently ducking back into the house, but your heart sinks as you count the number of heads again. youâre unable to fight off the dread in your voice when you dare to ask, âwhereâs hongjoong?â
yunhoâs eyes donât meet yours and wooyoungâs mouth thins out tightly before he cautiously answers you, âhe didnât come.â
san likes to think that heâs patient. ever since he was young, his father had made sure to raise him to wait. wait for elders to eat before picking up his own chopsticks; wait for others to walk through the door before he enters; wait for others to choose their preference before he picks his. and san likes to think that he has diligently applied this principle to his relationships too. wait to understand someone before criticising; wait for his own anger to subside before talking; wait to reflect on his own wrongs before expecting an apology.
but right now, san is impatient. he catches glimpses of the sweet messages you send jongho and seonghwa and the joyous cackles you share with wooyoung when you prank yeosang. he notices the way yunho and mingi are attached to your hips, and san wants all of that and more. he wants to tell you heâs forgiven you and that heâs sorry too; he wants to cup your cheeks and thumb away the phantom tears he caused; he wants to love you.
but his body is acting as if itâs an entirely separate entity from his heart. heâs unable to approach you, even as he watches everyone else do what he wants to and it frustrates him to no end. and itâs as if the gods themselves also became impatient with his pathetic attemptsâ or lack thereofâ because they drop the perfect opportunity right in front of him.
a quick look at his phone tells san that heâs been tossing on the couch for the last two hours. sleep fails to take over, so he hauls himself up and pads softly towards the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water. he stares out of the window above the sink, where he can just see the stretch of beach towards the right. the moon shines brightly tonight and the rays decorate the sand and sea foam with dreamy tranquillity.
thereâs a quiet rustle above the stillness of the night. when san turns around, his heart immediately clenches at the sight. youâre sleepily rubbing the bleariness out of your eye as you shuffle your way into the kitchen. thereâs a stray tuft of hair that san wants to reach out and smooth down for you, but he opts to grip his glass of water tighter.
you startle, not having expected someone to be awake and most definitely not san. you had stayed over late into the night watching a movie marathon with the boys, and despite your protests, they had convinced you to crash in haneulâs room. tension doesnât exist between you and the boys anymore, only awkwardness with san andâŠavoidance with hongjoong.
âcouldnât sleep?â you murmur, voice unguarded and still thick with sleep.
san shakes his head, âyou?â
âgot thirsty,â you explain, grabbing a glass from under the counter.
he hums at your answer and then it grows silent again. itâs only after you drowsily blink at him that he realises why youâre not making a move to get waterâ heâs still standing in front of the sink. san starts to step out of the way but thinks better of it. reaching out to grab your glass, he fills it up with water and then returns it to you.
âthanks, sannie.â
it doesnât register in your head that the nickname has slipped out. for him, though, it echoes and ricochets in the very caverns of his ribcage. hesitantly, he mutters, âyouâre welcome, pipsqueak.â
it tugs a smile out of your lips. âhavenât heard that in a while,â you muse. âkind of miss it.â
and i miss you. san is impatient, and he finally decides that he cannot take it anymore. âiâm sorry, y/n,â he whispers. âi know how badly i hurt you.â
the haze in your eyes immediately fades away at his words and he takes it as a good sign to continue. âiâll be honest. i hated that the person next to you as your boyfriend wasnât one of usâwasnât me, because it didnât look like he was making you happy at all. and that day you were out working in the field? some of us actually ran into johnny.â
you acknowledge sadly, âseonghwa told me what happened. iâm sorry he was like that.â
âthatâs not on you to apologise,â san refutes. âi was the one who asked the boys to keep it from you until we could properly talk after the campfire night, but along with everything that had led up to that point, all my frustrations accumulated without even realising it.â
âi guess that makes the two of us, then. there were arguments you and i both werenât aware of, and we ended up being the last straw for each other,â you chuckle wryly.
his voice wavers, âiâm meant to be the one person who is always there for you, but i made it feel like you were pitted against the eight of us instead and iâm so sorry for doing that. it should never have been me against you, nor us boys against you. it should have been all nine of us against the problem.â
you canât help but take the opportunity to tease lightly, âare you calling my ex the problem?â
âexactly that,â he deadpans. âwe all did.â
you nod, âthank you for trying to let me know, even when i didnât listen.â
âno, iâm sorry we didnât explain ourselves more clearlyâor earlier.â
âbut you have now, and i understand,â you reassure.
he nods gratefully before hesitating, âthereâs something else behind all this that i canât tell you yet, not without the others here. but when things areâŠokay with hongjoong again, thatâs when weâll tell you.â
something about his promise tells you that it has to do with the other part of the conversation everyone has been skirting around so farâ your confession. faint memories of the interactions observed between the boys last summer and the brief exchange you overheard between yunho and mingi flicker across your mind.
perhaps you should steel yourself for rejection. you donât dwell on it, though. this may have been the first time your friendship with san had been so close to shattering, but you know that it will take more than the entire universe to completely break you apart; you still trust himâ because before it was the nine of you, it was you and san against the world.
âthen are we okay now?â you ask, needing the confirmation.
âyeah,â he smiles breathlessly, âmore than okay.â
the caverns of sanâs dimplesâ the ones you love so muchâ shyly peek out to greet you in the faint glow of the moonlight coming in from the window. he reaches out silently and you understand immediately. you intertwine your fingers together.
san wants to ask you to go to bed with him. not to do anything sexual, but to simply hold you against his chest; trace the curve of your nose; wake up to your sleepy smile in the morning. but he canât, not yet. not until youâve worked things out with hongjoong, and not until youâve had a talk togetherâ all nine of you.
he settles for tugging you in the direction of haneulâs bedroom, hand never letting go of yours as he softly ushers, âlet me tuck you back into bed.â
and so fifteen years after your first day of summer in namhae, you find that summer still takes the form of a sweet, dimpled boy who loves the sea and holding hands.
your instinctive reaction is to shut the door in hongjoongâs face.
when seonghwa had texted you asking you to open your front door, you had been expecting said man for obvious reasons. so when you pull the door open and see kim fucking hongjoong at your doorstep in fucking namhae instead, of course you slam the door shut. because why the fuck is he here?
âoh shit,â you curse, when it registers in your brain.
hongjoong is here and youâve just shut the door in his face. if you had even an ounce of collectedness in you, you would realise that the boysâ initial and very much candid reaction of shock to seeing you randomly show up at their dorm in seoul is suddenly very relatable. you yank the door open again.
âsure, why donât you just go ahead and punch me in the fucking face too,â hongjoong scowls.
immediately, you furrow your eyebrows, âwell, if youâre offeringâŠâ
âoh, fuck off,â he raises his middle finger at you.
you raise both middle fingers in retaliation, âyeah, back into my house that youâre standing in front of.â
âfor godâs sakeâkim hongjoong!â seonghwa hisses in exasperation, head poking out of sanâs door as he eavesdrops to make sure this exact thing doesnât happen. âyouâre here to apologise!â
hongjoong appears rightfully berated, then he looks at anything but you as he huffs, âcan i come in?â
âdepends,â you cross your arms defiantly. âare you going to try and kick me out?â
despite the prickliness of the conversation, it almost feels right in a sense. as if thereâs no real heat behind your words and you two are back to the easy banter you used to haveâ before your near-kiss with him. this time, though, seonghwa hisses your name in frustration.
âgeez! okay!â you fluster as you step back and open the door wider, letting hongjoong in and away from the prying ears of the older.
you sit tentatively on your couch and he mirrors you, scratching the back of his neck as he perches himself on the edge. itâs awkward and tense when it becomes apparent to the both of you that youâre alone. âi didnât think you would come,â you break the silence.
he hums softly, âme neither.â
you donât know how to respond so you donât, allowing the quiet to settle over your living room once more. eventually, hongjong opens his mouth quietly, âi wasâam ashamed of myself.â
youâve been there beforeâ on the other side of the conversation as the one doing the apologising. you know how difficult it is to be honest about your own emotions, particularly the negative ones, so you wait patiently for him to find the right words.
âiâve been ashamed ever since the night i tried to kiss you. i was a coward and i did nothing to change it. i only ended up hurting you and iâve regretted it every single day. i think about why i didnât talk to you afterwards, why i said those things about you and your exâŠwhy i didnât just kiss you.â
you canât help but inhale sharply at his confession, because that can only mean one thing.
hongjoong gathers the courage to look at you as he admits, âi did like you. i still do. but i was an idiot and thought that i was doing the best thing for everybody. i shouldnât have made that choice for you nor tried to have a say in your love life. i was jealous and i know now how toxic i was being, which is why i was so stubborn about not coming to namhae because i didnât think my apology would be good enough. so iâm sorry for all the things i said and did, but iâm also sorry that it took me this long to talk to you.â
he looks so uncharacteristically unsure of himself as he timidly asks, âwill you forgive me?â
thereâs not a moment of hesitation before youâre closing the gap between the two of you on the couch so that you can wrap your arms around him. and in a rare display of vulnerability, he tucks his face into the crook of your neck. you comfort, âi forgive you. there are a lot of things iâm ashamed of doing too. but we all make mistakes and thatâs what helps us to grow.â
âyou still like me?â he mumbles into your neck.
you laugh at the ticklish feeling, âvery much so, hongjoong.â because in forgiveness there is love, and you have years of owed love to show the boys.
only when your sides become cramped and your necks become stiff do you finally pull away from each other. as you make eye contact with him though, youâre suddenly reminded of his confession. you know that you will need to have another talk with hongjoong about it, and you still donât know where the other boys stand in terms of pursuing something romantic with you, but that will be for later. right now, you are content and at peaceâ the nine of you against the world once more.
âletâs go find the rest of the boys?â you ask.
he grins, holding a hand out to pull you up with him as he answers, âletâs go.â
just as hongjoong puts on his shoes by the doorway, he distractedly questions, âwhy are these here?â
you frown and follow his line of sight, settling on the top of the cabinet in your hallway where a pair of gloves sitâ the ones you had discovered in your coat on your way back to namhae. âyou know who they belong to?â
âyeah,â he nods, absentmindedly touching them before walking out the door. âi bought them last year, but they were too big so i gave them to san.â
it was san who hid them in your coat.
you numbly follow his steps outside where the boys have gathered in waiting and are sitting side by side on the embankment, facing the ocean. they are simply living in the moment, basking in the golden rays of sunlight and the warm touch of the person by their sideâ an arm around a waist; a head on a shoulder. you almost donât want to disturb them, but you know the seven of them are not complete. not without hongjoong, and not without you.
and as your gaze meets san who smiles at the both of you, his chest swelling with relief, pride and love, you realise that san had bared his heart out to you long before you even knew.
once you fall back into routine with them, it starts to become obvious. the way the boys naturally gravitate towards one another with doting gazes and lingering touches; the casual use of a pet name or flirtatious joke; the shifts in dynamic you had noticed before that seem to extend beyond friendship. it starts to make sense when you realise that thatâs exactly the reasonâ no longer are their relationships purely based on platonic love, but romantic love.
itâs why yunho knocks his forehead against mingiâs just to see him smile, and why san pretends to grumble when wooyoung kisses his cheeks, only to give the younger a proper kiss mere seconds later. itâs why jongho never lets yeosang carry his own surfboard even if heâs just as strong, and itâs why seonghwa and hongjoong like to disappear into the shower together.
but the longer you mull over these interactions for, the more you realise that they donât seem to be simply âpaired offâ. you notice how jongho refuses to be cuddled but will nestle against seonghwa when heâs tired, and how yunho and yeosang seek out each otherâs company before bedtime. you notice how wooyoung squeezes hongjoongâs ass underwater to make him yelp, and how san and mingi are content to just sit together on their surfboards on the sand.
rather than a question of who is with who, it becomes a question of who isnât with who, and this time, you also find yourself mixed into the equation. but it confuses you whenever they treat you the same and you find yourself holding back despite your feelings, because itâs much harder to tell what kind of love theyâre giving you when you yourself yearn for the intimate type.
san notices the change in your demeanour, as small as it may be, and decides itâs time for the talk. so here the nine of you sit on the beach that stretches in front of your houses. the sand is still warm from the sun even as it starts to dip towards the horizon of the sea. yeosangâs jacket lays over your bare legs and a slight breeze tugs delicately at your clothes.
âokay, so whoâs telling her?â yunho elbows wooyoung as soon as the words leave the latterâs lips.
âwhat? how else are we meant to start the conversation?â wooyoung complains before mocking, âthe reason i have gathered you all here todayââ
rolling your eyes, you cut to the chase, âare you all dating each other?â
wooyoung chokes on his own words and everybody else looks at you with wide eyes.
âhowâd you know?â yeosang startles.
seonghwa agrees, âi didnât think we were that obvious,â but when you simply raise an eyebrow in response, heâs quick to amend, âokay, maybe we were.â
san eyes the others to see if anyone wants to step in and lead the conversation, but when nobody does, he speaks up to explain, âweâve been dating each other for just over a year nowâso before last summer. it took a bit of time to work everything out, establish boundaries and communicate what we wanted from one another, but weâre happy like this.â
âonce our relationship had settled down a little, thatâs when i came out to my parents,â mingi adds, âwhich didnât go down well. we wanted to tell you last summer too, butâŠother things happened and it all fell through before we could talk about it.â
yeosang meekly scratches the back of his neck as he says, âitâs long overdue, but weâre telling you now.â
the chuckle that comes out of you is light and carefree. âiâm happy for you guys,â you affirm sincerely. âi donât think thereâs anybody else who is more perfect for you guys than each other.â
you truly do. youâre thankful that they have one another and you finally understand how hard it mustâve been for san during your argument to pick a side. his boys were and are his priority and you cannot fault him for putting them first. but then youâre reminded of hongjoong and his confession. are the others aware of his feelings?
said man has the audacity to frown at you in confusion. âwhy does it sound like youâre just wishing us well?â
âam i not allowed to do that as your friend?â you mirror his expression.
âgod,â hongjoong exhales. âdo you think weâre telling you this just to reject you?â
âof all people to say thatârub it in my face, why donât you,â you grumble.
he starts to grasp the situation as he looks at the rest of the boys, âwait, did nobody fucking confess to her apart from me?â
the explosion of responses to his question is immediate.
âyou confessedââ ââi thought we agreed to confess togetherââ ââtrust you to cut in line! thatâs not fair!â
your eyes dart wildly from side to side, unsure of who to focus on as they all start to passionately talk over one another. at one point, someone tries to chuck a handful of sand in hongjoongâs direction, but it scatters innocuously before it can even get close.
âhold the fuck up,â you yell over the commotion. âconfess what?â
âhow did you figure out that weâre in a polyamorous relationship but not that the feelings extend to you as well?â yeosang judges you.
âi didnât want to project my own feelings and misconstrue anything. plus, none of you have actually mentioned liking or dating girls before, so i justâŠâ
âassumed we didnât have feelings for you,â seonghwa concludes as you laugh awkwardly.
wooyoung deadpans, âwe may have wanted to punch your ex in the face for his shitty-ass personality because we were your friends, but we were also jealous as fuck.â
âall of you?â you ask in disbelief.
âall of us. some of us were just better at hiding it,â mingi looks pointedly at the boy sitting on his left.
âyouâre one to talk about hiding your feelings,â hongjoong counters before turning to you to expose, âmingi wouldnât shut up about you after he met you.â
mingi immediately shoves him backwards into the sand.
âlook,â jongho cuts in, âwhat weâre trying to say is that weâve all liked you for a while now, and if you still feel the same way about us, then weâd like to take our relationship with you to the next step.â
how many times have you wanted this momentâ for all of them to return your confession. but now that itâs actually becoming a reality, itâs honestly a little daunting. âyouâre all serious about this?â
a lot will change over the next year. most of you will join hongjoong and seonghwa as postgraduates and start full-time work. san will move back to namhae, but whether the others will follow or stay in seoul is unknown. there are a lot of uncertainties regarding the future and the relationship will only work if everyone is serious about making it work.
yunho answers on everyoneâs behalf, âweâre very serious.â
you take a moment to look at all of them one by one, only to find the same promise within their gazesâ that even if things become difficult, they want to face it with you by their side.
it feels right when san is the one to officially ask the question, ây/n, will you be our girlfriend?â
like san once said, itâs hard to find friends you love, but itâs even harder to find a friend you fall in love with, and youâve been blessed with not only one, but eight of these people. between friendship and love, you already know from experience what you will decideâ so you make your choice.
âi forgot, are hongjoong and wooyoung coming down this weekend?â san pokes his head in through the doorway.
you eye him from the mirror, face void of expression to reply, âdonât count on it.â
sanâs pout is immediate and you laugh, shuffling over to console your boyfriend from where you had been getting ready in your shared bathroom. he grumbles, âyouâre never going to let me hear the end of that, are you?â but he canât hide the way his lips pull upwards the moment you press a chaste kiss against his cheek in apology.
âhongjoong said that there were a couple of delays with filming, so he and wooyoung canât step away just yet. but theyâll come back next saturday if they can wrap things up by then.â
as you talk, san takes the halter straps out of your grasp so that he can help secure your top around your neck. âitâs so hard to align everyoneâs schedules together. i miss the long holiday breaks we got in college,â you absently complain, body relaxing under the ministrations of sanâs hands as he gently squeezes the nape of your neck.
âme too, love,â another voice joins the conversation. seonghwa walks up to tenderly ruffle sanâs hair and nuzzles your temple with his nose. âbut we have to work hard to pay off this house and to spoil you with whatever you want.â
seonghwa has grown out his hair and has kept it long since, and you love running your fingers through his silken waves before he goes to work every morning. he always looks so soft and cosy with his round glasses and fluffy sweaters that you know his school kids adore just as much as you do. but right now, his face bare of makeup and hair pulled back into a messy updo, wearing nothing but a pair of board shorts to show off his upper build, he looks the complete opposite of what youâre used to seeing and you feel your stomach doing flips in response.
you lean into both of their touches as you giggle, âwe could have bought a smaller house. nobody sleeps in their own bedroom anyway.â
âwell can you really blame us for being madly in love,â seonghwa grins, stealing a kiss from you that only serves to elicit more giggling.
âthatâs true. your beds are always warmer than mine,â you agree.
âexactly. now come on, are you ready to go?â
the three of you walk downstairs to the living room, where the rest of the boys are waiting around in various mismatches of shirts, tank tops or only shorts. after two weeks of attempting to keep everybodyâs clothes separate once youâd all moved in together, they had simply given up and made their wardrobes communal.
as you drop a spare bottle of sunscreen into your tote bag, a pair of arms snake themselves around your waist. you turn around, sweet smile ready to greet whoever it is. your jaw drops, âwooyoung?â
his eyes sparkle with mischief, even more so when your eyes grow even wider at the sight of hongjoong perched on the edge of the couch in the background and you exclaim, âhongjoong? i thought you two werenât coming until next week?â
wooyoung takes the opportunity of your dazed compliance to pull you into a bone-crushing hug. âwe caught up with the schedule,â he exclaims happily. âyou shouldâve seen hongjoong though. director kim made sure to work us hard.â
you playfully wriggle yourself out of the vice-like hug youâre in to bound over to the older, who automatically opens his arms to welcome you. you slot easily between his legs and his hands rub the sides of your back fondly as he looks up to ask, âdid you miss me?â
forgoing an answer, you lean down to kiss him. wooyoung immediately complains, âwhy didnât i get a kiss?â so san pulls him in for one to appease him. youâd never be able to leave the house otherwise, because then everyone would start demanding your kisses. and considering that it has been a few long months since you last had quality time with all eight of them at the same time, there would be too many wanted kisses to count.
one thing you had all agreed on prior to buying a house in namhae was to ensure it had a beach front, just like your and sanâs old home. so it doesnât take long to carry your surfboardsâ save for you; the boys like it when you use theirsâ and towels down to the shore.
you close your eyes, inhaling the familiar scent of salt and subtle feeling of ocean spray on your skin. itâs a bittersweet emotion, knowing that itâs already the last day of summer, but only today have the nine of you been able to align your schedules this year. it makes you appreciate these fleeting moments of rest though, and you learn to find rest in each other too.
some of the boys start slipping off their tops, dropping them onto the sand to keep them dry as they surf. youâve found that the greatest perk of dating them is that youâre allowed to openly and unashamedly ogle at them. the rigid shadows of their muscles reveal the discipline and hard work they put into maintaining their bodies despite their busy jobs.
san had also been monitoring his protein intake leading up to his recent dance showcase, so itâs very hard to look at the expanse of his broad chest and prominent dip of abs down his hips without feeling a rush of heat in your lower stomach. if the boys know that you offer to help them reapply sunscreen just to get a little handsy with them, then nobody says anything. (they offer to help you reapply your sunscreen as well.)
youâre content to just lie down on your towel and watch the boys, yeosang in his usual place by your side as he presses lazy kisses to your shoulder and traces the names of his lovers onto the skin of your stomach. mingi starts dragging his surfboard into the water, but when wooyoung attempts to push him in insteadâ and fails miserablyâ all thoughts of surfing are quickly forgotten. it becomes an absolute shitshow when hongjoong gets mistaken for the culprit and mingi picks him up.Â
âit wasnât me!â the older shrieks, but mingi has no ears for reasoning and prepares to drop him into the water. unwilling to go down by himself, hongjoong grips mingiâs neck at the last second and successfully drags him underwater with his weight. as wooyoung runs away absolutely delighted by the outcome, his trajectory unfortunately runs into jongho, who cuts off his cackles with a giggle, a simple shove sideways and a resultant splash.
not even bystanders can catch a break, and seonghwa screams for mercy as san and yunho suddenly grab his arms and legs. they sway him from side to side before letting him go with the momentum of the last swing to fling him into the ocean. everyone erupts into a united clamour of glee at the dunking of the eldest and you find yourself shaking your head at their unchanging antics.
you donât think you can ever get tired of watching their radiant smiles of happiness and shared touches of sun-kissed skin, nor can you ever get tired of hearing their tinkling chimes of laughter and rowdy shouts of mischief. you may all grow older and there may not be as much time or luxury to simply bask in the joys of summer any longer; these golden hours that you are living in right now may forever remain as your sole memories when you reflect back on the essence of your youth.
on this dayâ the last day of summer in namhaeâ you find that summer takes the form of shared ice cream with sticky kisses, long showers with warm touches, and hushed pillow talk with synchronous heartbeats. but it doesnât matter to you, not anymore.
the seasons will change and the years will pass, but so long as you are with your boys, every day will be summer.
#the woman was too stunned to speak. or rather too busy sobbing.#im a fast reader but damn this oneshot made me take 15 mins breaks in between AS IF IM STUDYIGNG THIS 38K MAGNUM OPUS OF A FIC.#sani. my sani. my fucking sanity lies in ur hand. my sanity lies in his small acts of patience and love.#and his dimples.#get a job or a choi san#yungi never fail to make me say DAMNNNNNN#AND HONGJOONG OH FUCKING LORD. OH FUCKING LORD.#I HAD TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH WHEN HE PULLED THAT MOVE AND INTERWINE DHIS FINGER SNA GRINNED RBFGHJGHJGN#LIKE WHY IS HE SO inhale exhale Inhale Exhale.#He's so fucking HAWT.#my fav character in this one bye.#seonghwa and yeosang are so Love Love in this fic i teared up#MY BABY MINGI AAAAAAA#WHEN U SAID HES A SUNFLOWER WHO NEEDSA LOVING HAND OH I HOLLERED#SANI SANI SANI SANI SANI#i love my sani so so much#I WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABT WOOYOUNG'S CHARACTER BUT DAMN#ALSO WHENEVER U MENTIONED âyour boysâ âhis boysâ I WAS LIKE MY FAWKING ATEEZ MY FAWKING BABIESS sobs in the corner wipes snot#that reunion at the bus stop with seonghwa and jongho oh fuck me i had to lie down for a minute to process my emotions.#moral of the story : Grow As We Go. summer's are the best. whoever hates summers is a jonny.#fuck jonnies HMPH.#i loved the fact that u namedropped all the boys when u wrote abt the jonny dates. all of them mentioned in passing because Because.#ALSO THAT SANI BEING A PATIENT KID. OH I WANTED TO COPY THAT PARAGRAPH AND STORE IT IN MY AMYGDALA FOREVER.#THAT FIRST SUMMER WHEN YUNGI SAN AND READER BUILD THE CASTLES AND MINGI TOOK A SNAP OF IT OH GOD I LOVE THAT SCENE SO MUCH.#and when jonny entered the cafe when san opened the door I WAS ABT TO THROW MY PHONE LIKE BITCH U ARE NOT THE PRINCESS HERE FUCK OFF.#excusme i need to cry again. i love my ateez so much.#my ateez.#ateez x reader#poly ateez x reader#ateez angst
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It's october, I got my feet toasting by the space heater, I'm watching junkfood TV, the rent is paid, I got a commission today and could afford 2 whole meals. I can breathe for now đ«¶đŸ
#it me#i have such bad luck that i HAVE to find optimism in everything or else#oh yeah my bf even realized our fight was just a stupid first couple fight and we're on speaking terms#so yeah no heartache tonight and no fears until the 15th (which is the next bill)#its kinda scary because i realized how much this damaged my trust in him#and he's shared his fears with me#so its like we've given ourselves the opportunity to grow closer and probably will#but right now its going to be hard#it feels like I'm dating him all over again and you'd think that'd be romantic#but its like being back at 2 months of dating#its not butterflies its moths and i hate moths#and that's why i say my luck is shit because when i said i wanted to feel that new romance again#its like the spirit and the ancestors heard me and twisted and bastardized my feelings#so now I'm like đđđ#and i JUST did a tarot reading a while ago to see who put this damn root on me#i think in the morning I'll do another one cuz the ancestors got me fucked up#if it dont leave me alone I'm exorcising that ho i swear#like I'm ALREADY working on cutting toxic branches off my family tree dont make me bring sheers to the spirit world girl
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i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!
mdni.
satoru gojo is doomed.
why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.
crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.
of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.
you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.
he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.
more.
that's right, you were more.
recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.
surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.
he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.
so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.
it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?
his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-
âsatoru?â
his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.
âdid you listen to anything i said?â your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.
what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-
âsatoru!â
he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.
it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.
the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.
(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)
he should be neutered. effective immediately.
it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:
âbaby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-â he trips and stumbles over his words-
â...is that it?â
and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?
he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.
yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.
#áŻáĄŁđ© kiyara.#âá°.#i was bored once again.#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo imagine#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut
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18+ Minors dni. Buckys innocent neighbor who bakes him cookies and muffins just cause. The girl next door who has the coziest apartment he's ever been in. Shelves filled with books along with plenty of comfy blankets decorating the couches. Bucky has his own place right across but home is with her (even if she doesn't know it yet).
She's the type of girl he's going to take his time with, asking her out on a date, just coffee and a walk in the park. Nothing more than a kiss on her cheek at the end of the night. Another date. Dinner. Another kiss to her other cheek. He wouldn't dare rush anything, especially not someone as soft and sweet as her.
He feels like such a dirty little pervert when he thinks about her afterwards when he's alone in bed, all the blood in his body rushing south, and fuck he's so hard. He tries to ignore it, he didn't want to do something so debauched by thinking of her like that, he even tries to think about his grocery list, laundry, he'd probably wash his arm later, it would probably be fine in the dishwasher-
Nothing worked.
He groans, shuffling and kicking his sweats off, hissing when his hand goes down to tug at his aching cock, relief flooding his veins at the sensation. He lets his mind wander to how adorable she'd be, the way he'd take her apart in the most gentle way. Lay her against the pillows while he holds those soft thighs apart, giving her the most feather light suckles on that perfect clit, basking in all the sounds she'd make. He strokes himself faster thinking about the way he'd get her ready to take all of him. How he'd make it so good for her-shit he was going to blow-maybe if he was lucky, one day she'd let him put his cock in her mou-
"Fuck!!" Bucky threw his head back, spurts of cum shooting from his sensitive head, his post orgasm haze leaving him feeling like a filthy old man. She were here making him baked treats and he was jerking his dick off like a sick fuck.
Then the night finally comes. Bucky is ready to cuddle and nothing else but he's thrown off because never in his wildest fantasies did he expect this.
She is the girl who sends him reeling the first time he takes her clothes off one by one revealing dark ink on her back and hips. He has to suppress a growl, his eyes growing wide at the scantily clad lace that covers her body.
"Like what you see, Sergeant?" she practically purrs in his ear while he lets his han ghost over her bare skin, his chest heaving when his eyes fall to her perfect breasts, hints of silver peeking from under her lingerie, there was no way-
"Can I?" He asks breathlessly, his hand reaching behind to unclasp the bra, those pretty pierced nipples begging to be sucked.
Bucky who turns into a fucking menace, his entire world flipping upside down when she grinds down on his crotch not hiding exactly what she needs from him. He doesn't even have the ability to hide how feral he is, letting all his inhibitions slip.
-
"My little bunny's a slut, fuck, c'mere" He grabs you and tosses you over his shoulder, hauling you over to his bedroom like an untamed beast, tossing you onto his bed with no remorse. You're in nothing but your panties which he rips right off, your thighs squeezing together at the way he stalks over to you, his hungry eyes raking up and down your body without an ounce of shame. He tugs his sweats down to reveal his leaky cock, stroking it at the edge of his bed after tossing his shirt off.
"See this baby? Been fuckin' stroking and touching myself like a fuckin' teenager because of you-" He throws off his pants before climbing onto the bed and kneeling between your thighs, spreading them apart with his knees, "-and you've been here lookin' like God damn sin under those cute little sweaters"
He flicks his cockhead against your clit, humming at the clear beads of his arousal that drip onto your cunt.
"Fuck James, need more, pl-"
"Nuh uh, what was that you called me earlier, sweets?" He lets out a dark chuckle, the veins in his cock throbbing as he tightly holds the base, waiting to hear it again.
"Sergeant" you whine with mischief in your eyes and Bucky is a goner. He'll taste you later and most definitely feed you his cock another day but right now he wants to be nowhere else other than your pussy. He wants to watch you take every bit of him, rolling over to lay on his back while you straddle him, his length slotted against your cunt. He holds it up for you with a cocky look on his face, moaning when his tip breeches your tight pussy, your walls gripping his swollen, pink head.
"That's just the tip baby, c'mon, sit on it, wanna put all of my dick in you, that's it, good girl-shittt"
"Oh fuccckk,s'big" You moan feeling the stretch as you sink all the way down, panting and staying still while you adjust to his size.
"That's it bunny, that's it, ride me, ride your Sergeant" He grabs you by the hips, guiding you to grind down on him, making you feel his entire cock in your stomach. "You're a slut for big dick aren't you baby, acting all cute and shy when all you really wanted was the winter soldier's cock"
Bucky wasn't even sure where all the filth spewing from his mouth was even coming from but he couldn't stop.
"S'that it bunny? Say it baby, tell me how much you wanted my fat cock in you"
"Wanted it! F-cuk Sergeant, wanted your cock s-o-so bad!!"
"Fuck yes!!" His feet plant to meet your bounces, his hips thrusting up, slamming his entire length into you. "M'close, fuck bunny, gonna cum already, I can't hold it-
He doesn't have time to be embarrassed. You feel to good. He rubs your clit needing you to cum all over him so he can let go.
"Please, cum all over Sergeants cock baby, give it to me, be a good girl n'cum, c'mon, cum on my dick, yes, oh fuck yes I can feel it-milk it, shit touch my balls-"
You nearly collapse as your orgasm starts to wash over you, his sponge head hitting the most sensitive parts against your walls while he toys with your clit. His voice is muffled as you start to feel waves of pleasure consume you but you head just enough to reach behind, rubbing his heavy, so full of cum ba-
"FUUUCCCCKKK" He grabs you and wraps his arms around your body while he relentlessly thrusts up, biting down on your shoulder while he lets out the sluttiest, loudest moan with 0 remorse. It feels too good and he's sure the neighbors can hear but honestly, everyone should know how amazing it feels.
-
"I got you pretty baby" Bucky coos as you nuzzle into the crook of his neck, a shiver running through you while you float in bliss. Bucky pulls the covers up, deciding to cuddle up with you for a bit before running a shower, his previous demeanor replaced with the far less debauched version of him.
Anyway, just an idea. Also, it's past my bedtime.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fluff#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fan fic#bucky fanfic#james buchanan barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut au#bucky barnes smut#bucky smut#marvel smut#marvel fic#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#avengers fluff#avengers smut#bucky barnes x freader#bucky barnes x fluff#bucky barnes x f reafer#bucky x f reader
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Brooklyn Baby - G.S.
Synopsis. Everybody wanted to fuck Suguru Geto, lead bassist of Tokyo Special Grades. Said Suguru doesnât want to fuck anyone else but you. He couldnât give less of a fuck if anyone walked in right now. In fact, a small part of him wishes someone would.
Pairing. Geto Suguru x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, rock star! AU, fwb-to-lovers, unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), fingering (female receiving), Suguru is sinfully sexy and in l*ve with you, Satoru is a menace, pet names (darling, my girl), Suguru has tattoos and piercings, swearing.
Word count. 3.2k (DAMN I got carried away)
A/N. Happy Valentineâs day! *throws somewhat-fluffy smut at you and leaves*Â
Art by @_3aem on X.
Also, wild west! AU longfic with someone dropping on Sunday night (EST), keep your eyes peeled yeehaw.
Everybody wanted to fuck Suguru Geto, lead bassist of Tokyo Special Grades.
You did. Your fans did. Hell, youâve even caught your overworked band manager sneaking a few too many glances.Â
And, you conclude, the groupies currently batting their lashes at him definitely did.Â
You watch as they swarm to him during open rehearsal, giggling at his pretty smiles.Â
Whatever, part of the job anyway.
Itâs not like you two were dating. Yeah, a few fucks here and there throughout the years - but whatâs one to do when on the road and in such close proximity with a guy thatâs practically walking sex?Â
Trying not to scowl, you turn away from the commotion, continuing to tune the strings of your trusty Fender. Youâve had your fair share of die-hard fans, so lately why did it bother you so much when Suguru entertained their thinly-veiled advances?Â
âOhoho~ Quite a look on your face there, why donât you go and caress his biceps too?~â you hear idiot brigade member #1, Gojo Satoru, cackle from beside you.Â
If looks could kill, Satoru wouldâve been 6 feet under and rotting already. âI thought you stopped writing band fanfiction, Satoru.â you raise a brow.Â
âTHAT WAS ONE TIME.â he whines dramatically, clinging onto you and shaking you back and forth as if to knock the memory of his Wattpad tendencies out of you. âWHY ATTACK ME JUST CUZ YOUâRE JEALOUS? CâMOOON ADMIT IT.â
You were not jealous.Â
Suguru knew you were jealous.
Sneaking a glance, he had to fight the urge to coo at the adorable little furrow of your brows. How unprofessional would it be if he walked off mid-conversation to kiss that pout off your lips?
He knows itâs just sex for you. But - foolishly - every time he held you he could only hope that he ran through your mind as often as you did through his. It elated Suguru to know you were getting that worked up over him.Â
That is until, out of the corner of his eye, he spots Satoru draping himself all over you, whispering god-knows-what into your ears.Â
The rational part of Suguru knows Satoru is a very touchy person, but why was he soâŠclose? And why werenât you pushing him off?
Smile tightening into something a little more artificial, he turns to the girls fawning over him. âWell, ladies, Iâm sorry to say Iâve gotta go practice before Shoko yells at me again. Iâll see you all in the front row, yeah?â he lies smoothly, disappointed whines following him as he makes a beeline for your figure.
âWell! What have we here, Satoru, are you done tuning?â Suguru pops a head between yours and Satoruâs overly close ones, interrupting whatever conversation you were heatedly whispering. What was so important that you two needed to be that close to talk anyway?
He narrows his eyes at Satoruâs surprised ones, an invisible conversation taking place between them before Satoru cracks a smug grin. âAlright alright. Iâll go tune my guitar.â he rolls his eyes, heading for his electric blue Gibson.Â
Your confused gaze meets the twinkling eyes now boring down at you. âDone with the meet-n-greet already?â you question, eyes darting to the group now watching you two like hawks.
The smile on Suguruâs face grows, âYeah, remembered I didnât do my pre-concert rituals right.â
âOh?â
âWanna help me with it?â
He doesnât give you time to answer. Quickly setting down your guitar, he drags you out into the corridor - hand tightly in yours and pointedly ignoring Satoruâs wolf-whistles.Â
Hallway sex is overrated, Suguru believes - which is why he heads for the dressing room.Â
âPre-concert ritualsâ his ass, Suguru just thinks he might pass away if he doesnât get his hands on you right now. Make you feel like his.
Itâs not long before the door is locked and he has you bent over the vanity, knuckle-deep in your dripping cunt.Â
âS-Sugu! Why now? The concert- Hah-â You gasp in pleasure as two long fingers probe inside of you, ruthlessly searching for the spot that Suguru knows would have your toes curling and eyes watering deliciously.Â
âFuck the concert, darling. Barely even started and already so wet fâme.â he drawls out over your whimpers. âWanted you to come over yâknow? And save me from those groupies trying to get in my pants.âÂ
In your lust-hazed mind, you find the words to respond to him, âYou s-seemed to - hah - be enjoying that.â
âOf course not.â he leaves a trail of kisses down your back, âWasnât my favorite girl.â he whispers into your heated skin.
Heâs being rougher than usual, he knows. In the back of his mind he wonders what it was that he was so pissed at. But all thoughts of that are thrown out the window once he presses into that plushy spot inside your wet core, drawing a sinful whine from your mouth. There.
Pulling back to tease your folds with your own slick, he plunges into your swollen pussy once more, easily hitting that spot over and over.Â
âHngh- Suguru, more!â you grind your hips to meet his merciless rhythm, clenching around his fingers.Â
You feel as if youâre losing your sanity when he adds in another finger, walls burning as your cunt stretches around his thick rings.Â
Suguru was definitely losing his sanity.Â
Anyone could walk by. The concert was about to start any second now. But he couldnât give less of a fuck, too focused on how his fingers were being sucked back in every time he pulls out, your pretty pussy dripping all over his numerous bracelets.
He has to hold back a moan at the way your ass jiggled every time your hips buck to meet his fingers.Â
Leaning down over you, he hums lowly into your ear âSo desperate for me, hm?â. Pressing the erection straining against his trousers against you, he huffs out âIâm the same, darling. You drive me absolutely mad.â
He feels the way you squirm in impatience at the large outline of his dick, raising your ass in an attempt to get more friction. Eyes crinkling in satisfaction, he pushes down on his girlâs slutty hips, cold rings digging into the small of your waist.Â
âNow nowâŠnot yet.â he tuts mockingly.Â
âPlease, Suguru. Please let me cum.â
Increasing his pace, abusing your g-spot relentlessly, Suguru knew by your breathy moans of his name that you were getting close.Â
His hand moves from your waist, leaving behind purple marks to remember him by. They wander the expanse of your body - groping your curves, and pinching your nipples through your thin top - delighting in your mewls.
God, you were perfect. He really needed to take his time with you later.
Suguruâs hands, nail polish chipped and fingers calloused from years of playing, finally rest on your face. He pushes your cheeks together, drool pooling at the corner of your mouth and forcing you to look at him through the vanity mirror in front of you. Your dazed eyes meet his darkened ones.Â
Suguru was so feral. The man that was usually the personification of grace and poise was falling apart at the seams. His eyes wild and grin spread devilishly as his fingers abuse your cunt never-endingly.
âLook at me when you cum.â he murmurs raspily into your neck, teeth ghosting over your rapid pulse.
You donât know what it is that sends you over the edge - maybe it was his lustful words, or the way his fingers quirked just right inside of you. All you know is youâre cumming all over Suguruâs fingers, hands clutching the vanity table and eyes locked with Suguruâs in the mirror, mouth dropping into a gasp.
âFuck! Suguru- Suguru!â you whimper.
Suguru watches in wonder as you ride out your orgasm, using him. He couldnât give less of a fuck if anyone walked in right now. In fact, a small part of him wishes someone would.
Let them see how beautifully you fall apart because of him.
Finally pulling out, Suguru inspects his fingers. âNow now. That wonât do.â he purrs.Â
His tongue erotically licks up your juices covering his rings, still holding eye contact with you through the mirror. He catches the way your thighs press together at his lewd act. âOh? Want some?â he teases.Â
Before you can retort, heâs bullying his fingers into your mouth, making you taste yourself.Â
The way you moan around him sends blood rushing straight to his cock. Fuck, he has to steel himself from cumming in his pants right then and there - that wouldnât be very âsex iconâ of him.Â
You have no idea what you do to him.
Not willing to wait any longer, he leisurely takes a seat on the spacious vanity sofa. You whine at the loss of contact before catching the predatory look in his eyes. Suguru was going to eat you alive.Â
âCome on, darling. Show me how badly you want me.â he grins, legs spreading and prominent bulge on display.Â
You take a second to admire the view. Tousled black hair falling enticingly along Suguruâs muscled shoulders, tattooed dragon peeking through where his shirt was messed up. His eyes lustful, and locked on you.Â
He was devastatingly handsome. Your mouth waters at the chance to get what so many people would kill for.
Suguru chuckles as you struggle to unbuckle his belt - did rock stars have to always wear such complicated trousers?Â
Finally, you pull them down along with his boxers to expose his creamy thighs. Suguruâs throbbing erection lays on his abs, flushed a delicate pale pink.
Your pussy quivers with excitement as you press wet kisses to Suguruâs leaking head, precum dripping down his length to where youâd gently grasped him. A strangled hiss leaves his mouth as you swirl your tongue around the slit. You find yourself lost in his heady taste - he tastes so good.
âHaving fun, darling? Câmon now, use me the way you want.â he murmurs, need laced into his voice.
Youâve never gotten used to how big Suguru is. Soft groans leave his mouth as you flatten your tongue and take him in inch by inch, eyes locked with his blown-out ones.
Suguruâs back arches as the heat of your mouth envelops him, hands bunching your hair into a messy ponytail. His pornographic groans echo across the dressing room as you suck on his cock, tongue swirling in just the way you knew he liked.
He canât even catch his breath with the way you bob your head so heavenly, sucking the soul out of him. It drives him wild to think about how heâs got his lead guitarist on her knees, choking on his cock as your fans wait outside.Â
Suguruâs eyes roll to the back of his head as you pop off his cock to take his heavy balls into your mouth, moaning around them as you suck on both erotically.
Shit, he was really feeling it today.Â
Through the bangs now sticking to his forehead, he makes out the way your thighs grind against each other for relief.Â
You were, too.
If this keeps up he really will lose his sanity.
âAs much as Iâd love to paint your pretty face with my cum, I think we both prefer it inside, no?â he grits out, cock twitching at the strings of spit and precum connecting you to him as he pulls you off.Â
âNeed you inside me so badly.â you nod, brain foggy and filled with only Suguru.
Heâs quick to lift you into his lap, resting your ass against his pulsing cock, sly grin spreading at the way youâre already so fucked out.Â
Suguru feels like he could cum just from the sensation of your juices smearing all over his length, pussy dripping and aching for his throbbing cock.Â
âOh yeah? How bad?â he purrs, eyes half-lidded and already knowing the answer.
âPlease. I want you to fuck me so badly, Suguru.âÂ
âBadly enough that youâd fuck me out there - where everyone is? Show âem who I belong to?â
âYes.âÂ
At your whimper, Suguru thrusts fully inside you, a moan of relief leaving you both as you finally get what youâve been craving for.Â
âShit, so tight. Always so good for me, darling.â
Once you start, itâs hard to stop, Suguru finds.Â
It happened when he first fucked you in high school - in his car after your first show, running on adrenaline and teenage hormones. And, years later, itâs happening now as he sheathes himself in your wet cunt.Â
He just canât get enough.
He fucks you animalistically, cock ramming in and out of your hole in a way that makes it feel like youâre missing something without him. Nothing in the world other than your two connected bodies. He feels you clamping down on him deliciously, ego growing at you struggling to accommodate his size.Â
âF-fuck, darling. Hah- Itâs sâtight. Take it like my good girl.â
âHngh- Suguru, faster!â you groan, fingers delicately playing with the nipple piercings peeking out of his barely-buttoned shirt, euphoric at his drawn-out moans.Â
Unlike Satoru - who takes off his shirt every chance he gets onstage - Suguru was one to shy away from showing skin, slutty piercings and tattoos hidden to the world. It just makes it all the more satisfying as you lick a long stripe along the dragon on his shoulder.Â
Feels like your little secret. You wanted to be the only one to see this ethereal sight.
âAh- So good, darling.â Suguru leans back, allowing you more room to play with him as you please. Cock twitching - so close - as you bore into his eyes, sucking his flashy piercings.Â
He ramps up his pace, bouncing you on his cock in a way that was carnal. It was so feral, the way his balls sting as they smack your ass, a ring of spit and precum forming around his base.Â
His cock aches for release, but he wants to see you cum first. His pretty girl, cumming all over his throbbing cock.
You pull yourself off his swollen nipples and attach your mouth with his, tongues swirling sensually as he kisses you like he needed you to breathe.Â
Heâs almost as unforgiving with his mouth as he is with his cock. Almost.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
âYOOO I donât know if âpre-concert ritualsâ was a code-word for something else but weâre on in twenty minutes.â the unmistakable voice of Suguruâs best friend - and occasional bane-of-his-existence - made you two jump apart.Â
âThe ultimate cockblock.â Suguru sighs out - his pace, however, does not slow down. Each harsh thrust makes it difficult to muffle your yelps of pleasure from Satoru, who was still calling for you two from outside.
Noticing your predicament, Suguru grins dangerously. âOh? My poor girl finds it hard to stop her moans? Aww, better try harder unless you want dear Satoru finding out.â he mocks in your ear.Â
Both humiliated and turned on by his words, your dripping pussy clenches around his cock. He lets out a choked-up groan, biting hard into the crook of your neck to stop it.
A satisfied smile spreads across your face, âWho should try harder now, Suguru?â
Ah, perfect. You were perfect, perfect for him.
As Satoruâs yells about âcutting a chunk out of Suguruâs payâ disappear across the hallway, both of you let out exhales of relief.
âDangerous game you played there, mister.â you raise a brow, teasingly.
He chuckles out, before pulling you to him closer by the waist. Lips ghosting over your own, he whispers âOnly with you, my darling.âÂ
Slightly more clear-headed but still dripping with lust, you meet the bounce of Suguruâs hips with your own. Eyes still locked with yours, he stuffs you with every inch - tip kissing your cervix so painfully good.Â
The steady slapping of skin and synchronized moans fill the room, blocking out the cheering of the audience awaiting your band.Â
Yet, the air crackled with something different this time. For the first time, it didnât just feel like just mindless fucking.
Bite mark on your neck stinging, you could feel Sugurus heartbeat thundering under your touch - synchronized with your own.
In this moment it felt like just you two in this world.Â
You wanted to be the only one in his world. Not his fangirls, not some manager, not anyone else.Â
Maybe that was the reason for your courage, feeling like everything has finally come to a boiling point.Â
âS-Suguru.â you breathe out as you feel yourself getting closer.Â
âMhm?â brows furrowed, he looks up at you with a tenderness in his eyes that does not translate to the merciless cadence of his hips.Â
âBe mine.â
And thatâs all Suguru ever wanted.Â
With a final hard thrust of his cock, he pulls you into a searing kiss that sends you both over the edge. He cums in hot spurts, thick ropes of seed filling your quivering cunt. It was feral - and it made you feel like his.Â
Suguruâs seed drips down the side of his length, forming a white ring at his base as he fucks it deeper into you, letting you ride out your highs together.
As your climaxes bate, he buries his face in your neck, kissing softly over the mark from before. âTo be yours is everything I could ever want, darling.â he breathes out, hugging you closer as if to hide this vulnerable moment. But you feel the heat of his cheeks on your skin.
Embracing him, you gather his beautiful black locks in your hand, fingers deftly taking the hair tie around your wrist to tie his long hair into a messy ponytail.Â
Pulling back, you admire Suguruâs angelic features. Face flushed, lips swollen, and dark eyes half-lidded as he stares up at you in surprise.
âWanted to see your pretty face.â you huff out a low laugh.
The expression on Suguruâs face is indescribable, such pure adoration in his eyes.Â
Voice low, he murmurs words meant only for you, âIâŠIâm in lov-âÂ
âHEYYY Iâm serious, stop doing the devilâs tango and GET THE FUCK OUT.â Satoruâs voice bellows once again through the door, shattering the little bubble you and Suguru had found refuge in.
âAh- um-â
âYou-â
Both of you stammer out at once, chuckling at how shy you were acting with one another even after all that had transpired in this room.
âWe should probably go, before Satoru and Shoko pop a blood vessel.â Suguru jokes. You laugh out in agreement as he carries you tenderly to the washroom, his interrupted words weighing heavily on both your minds. Itâs okay, you have time.Â
Rapidly cleaned up and dressed, Suguru stops, a hand on the dressing room doorknob. ââHey..â he starts almost-hesitantly, âAfter the concert, would you maybe want to-â
âYes.â you interrupt, excitement lacing your voice.Â
Chuckling in pure euphoria as you both exit, your smiles turn more sheepish as youâre faced with a bored-looking Shoko and an impatient Satoru tapping his foot. âYou horny lilâ fuckers almost missed the show, think of my poor fans~â he exclaims, though the glee in his eyes at your intertwined hands was very evident.
âHope the sex was good at least.â Shoko drones out, eyes flitting over your guilty flushed faces.Â
âOh yeah, and Suguru - next time you dump your fangirls on me, I chop your balls off.â she chirps out, pointing her drumsticks threateningly at his neck as you all head back.
Blinding lights.Â
Deafening screams.
Hair pulled into a messy ponytail, he was fatally beautiful onstage.
Everybody wanted to fuck Suguru Geto, lead bassist of Tokyo Special Grades.Â
But he only wanted to fuck you.
A/N. MMMMM long-haired men.
Plagiarism not authorized.
#geto x reader#geto x you#geto smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk smut#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x you#geto suguru smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fic#jjk#geto suguru#tonywrites
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#tag talk#my tendency to go from 0 to 100 really does stab me in the back sometimes#I straight up scheduled two lunch dates tomorrow without realizing that Tuesday is the same day as Tuesday#one is morning lunch and the other is afternoon lunch so it's totally chill and okay but like. whoops#understimulated or overstimulated. you can never be just whelmed.#anyway. making friends is cool and after chewing through like fifty people on this social app I finally found someone cool#also I can put in so much work on dating apps but my first good friends keep on being coworkers.#that's highkey one of the reasons I wanted to get a job sooner rather than later. automatic social interaction#growing up is just the journey of me realizing that being anxious and paranoid isn't the same as being introverted.#cause damn. I need so much people interaction. I love cashiering because I talk to so many people every day#and then I get home and still send paragraphs to like five close friends and then still hunt for people online#hmmm. I wonder if it's also partly that talking to people is not the same as talking With people.#I can send a huge paragraph to someone but it's only interaction if they respond.#being needy drives people away. which in turn creates more need. driving people away even harder#idk. I'm so tired of having so many friends I never talk to. we both agree we're friends but they're always so busy#I'm always willing to sacrifice to spend time with the people I love but it feels like others don't feel the same#âwe should hang out. we haven't talked in forever. we should watch a movie togetherâ MATE I AM FREE AND AVAILABLE#like. don't tell me we should hang out if you're not going to hold up your end of making it happen. âsorry I'm busyâ well be less busy#I get it's not always an option to just be less busy. but you can't find half an hour to just walk the city park together?#idk. people make claims of intent and never follow up with action. and I get it. I have wildly high social need apparently#and I try to keep on top of it. I try and restrain myself because otherwise I'm exhausting to be around; further driving people away#but I hate being a nuclear core that I constantly have to dump coolant over. my heart locked in a concrete bunker#wait. I'm gonna draw that shit
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âౚà§ËâĄËàŁȘ adore me, mark your territory !!
á°.á after having to endure locker room conversation since his blue lock days all the way up to his pro days, yukimiya realizes that if he wants to show you just how serious he is about his thoughts on his relationship with you, he needs to make his mark on you. ( fem!reader )
pairing kenyu yukimiya x reader word count 3.6k content contains corruption kink/innocence kink, loss of virginity (both you and yukki), first time, creampie, breeding kink, slightly manipulative!yukki, you two attended the same private catholic high school, mentions of purity culture, coercion, very naive reader, talks of marriage, dark(ish) content kinktober masterlist
To love someone is to know them.Â
You love Kenyu Yukimiya with all your heart; you know his hopes and his dreams, his fears and the tiny voice in his head that serves to either goad or encourage him. The two of you grew up together, attending all the same Catholic private schools up âtil he went pro fresh out of high school graduation, and you decided to attend a tiny, private all girls university.Â
You know that heâs kind and funny, much more outgoing and adventurous than you. You know that he can be gentle, and that he chooses to always be gentle with you. You know that he loves you just as much as you love him.Â
But while distance makes the heart grow fonder, perhaps itâs the distance that has caused this newfound unfamiliarity between the two of you.
âKenny, I donât⊠I donât understand.â Youâre lying down on your painfully small twin-sized mattress in your dorm room. Kenyuâs on top of you, his body hovering over your own. He gives you that familiar, comforting smile of his as he asks you gently (your Kenyuâs always so gentle with you),Â
âWe love each other, donât we?âÂ
âOf course we do.â You say softly. Your arms are by your side, and youâre playing with the frills on the oversized comforter of your bed. Your whole entire room still screams girl. Yukimiya finds it endearing; he finds everything about you so damn endearing. Your floral quilts, and the stuffed animals heâs won for you from claw machines and unfairly rigged carnival games. Your fluffy comforter, and the way you always love to wear dresses, even when itâs just to attend a lecture.Â
And your unwavering innocence.Â
Everyone knows that Catholic private schools arenât as pristine as the parents of the students like to claim it is, but youâre the only one who remained devout. The only one who genuinely stayed true to the lessons taught. You didnât drink, you didnât smoke, you didnât sneak out. The only parties you attended were birthday parties chaperoned by a trusted adult and held in the early afternoon. You always followed the dress code and never tried to get away with folding the waistband of your school-issued skirt to make it shorter, like some of the other girls did. Hell, Kenyu had to literally ask your father for permission to date you before he asked you out.Â
And while Kenyuâs always been on his best behavior, itâs not like heâs unaware of the world. Heâs not naive like you. And thatâs okay. One of you has to know enough to lead the other; Yukimiyaâs more than happy that heïżœïżœïżœs the one taking on that role.Â
The thing is, Kenyu truly does love you. Itâs why he doesnât rush you, doesnât try to force you to go further than what you think youâre capable of, than what you think youâre allowed to go. He ignores the hard on he gets every time you two make out, the way your hips sometimes move on their own, grinding against him with no thought to strip out of your clothes and let him finish. Youâve been together since the first year of high school, and now youâre in college, and heâs playing professional soccer, and he loves you, and he still hasnât even seen your pussy. Honestly, his closest friends tell him he must be a saint.Â
But the talks in the locker room, the snide comments from his least favorite teammates, the jokes and the teasing and the mocking, condescending tones â gotta protect Yukkiâs ears, canât let him Mr. Private School hear this, as if heâd even know what weâre talking about; damn virgin â all of it is chipping away at his pacifist, mild-mannered demeanor, revealing the feral, greedy egoist that lies underneath.Â
You had been so excited to hear your beloved boyfriend was flying down to your college town this weekend, just to see you! Your roommateâs out on a holiday with her parents, leaving the dorm room all to yourselves. In your cute mind, this just means more room for the two of you to hang out.
For Yukimiya, it means he has no more obstacles to get in the way of him fucking you for the first time.Â
âAnd you know what two people who love each other do, right?â Heâs still using the same pacifying, soothing tone he always uses when heâs trying to calm you down. When you skinned your knees and cried from the sting of the alcohol wipes used to clean the cuts, he had used this voice on you. When you cried at the airport because he was leaving the country to meet the team who paid an exorbitant amount to have him on their starting lineup, he had used this voice on you. Right now, you canât understand why heâs using this voice on you. Youâre not hurt; just confused.Â
âKenyu, wh-what are you talking about?âÂ
âIâm talking about making love, [Name].â One large palm is rubbing up and down the smooth skin of your thigh. The movement causes the thin fabric of your sundress to rise up. Yukimiyaâs never touched you down there before. You donât know why his touch feels so good, but you do understand what heâs talking about now.Â
âBut Kennyââ Your voice is reduced to nothing more than a nervous whisper, almost as if youâre scared someone is listening in. ââwe canât. Thatâs for married couples.âÂ
Well, if itâs any consolation, Yukimiyaâs always planned on marrying you.Â
He kisses your forehead, his hand never relenting from its position on your thigh. Your dress remains lifted up at an angle on one side. He can see part of your cotton panties; plain and white. If he moves his fingers up a few more centimeters, he could tug at the waistband of them.Â
âI know, sweetheart. But Iâve been thinkingâŠâ His hand travels from up your thigh to rest on your hip. The one side of your dress is now all the way up, and his thumb rests on the thin waistband of your panties, rubbing reassuring circles to get you to remain calm underneath him. âWeâll get married soon, anyway, right? I love you so much that I need an outlet to show you just how much I love you.âÂ
âMarried? Soon?â Your eyes widen. You find yourself daydreaming about marrying Yukimiya, starting a family. Yukimiyaâs smile stretches wide across his handsome face. His sweet girl, he knew youâd be putty in his hands after he mentioned that.Â
âOf course.â He kisses you on your lips sweetly, his hand never leaving your hip. âAnd I want to give you all the love a husband has for his wife. Wonât you let me, [Name]?âÂ
Kenyuâs always been handsome. You have a collection of all his professional photoshoots, and you know that he has a bunch of fangirls from just his looks alone. Itâs so unfair of him, really, to give you that imploring look of his. You canât say no to Yukimiya, and you think you never want to.
And so you do let him.Â
Kenyuâs quick. With the speed he normally reserves for on the field, Kenyuâs mouth meets your at the same time his other hand grips your neglected hip. Now both of his hands are bunching up the fabric of your dress, pulling the skirt up to reveal your simple, plain panties.Â
âMmph.â You moan into the kiss. This is a bit different than what you two normally engage in; somehow, everything feels a lot heavier, headier. You canât seem to think straight. All you can focus on is chasing after his lips, matching his hungry pace.Â
The heat radiating off the two of you is enough for Kenyu to separate from you momentarily. The lens of his glasses are fogged up, and he grins at you, satisfied at the progress youâre making, before taking his glasses off and setting them neatly on your nightstand.Â
And then heâs back to kissing you passionately again. Youâre lost in the pleasure of his kisses, unknowingly bucking your hips up, not knowing why your body is craving friction, for some attention, down there. Your hands reach up to grip the front of Kenyuâs shirt, tugging at him, trying to bring him closer. Youâre getting desperate, and he finds it so cute.Â
âLift your arms up for me, sweetheart.â He mumbles against your lips, and your headâs too hazy for you to properly register his request. He repeats it, still as gentle as ever with you, and this time, you manage to comply.Â
âFuck.â You donât hear Kenyu curse often; he says itâs impolite to do so in front of his girl. He breathes out the word, and you feel shy all of a sudden as his eyes roam over your body. He tossed your dress to the side unceremoniously, and because the dress itself had padding, you decided not to wear a bra. Youâre laying on your bed, nothing to protect your modesty besides your cotton panties.Â
âYouâre the most beautiful girl in the world. The only girl I see.â He praises you, and you donât feel too shy anymore.Â
âK-Kenyuââ You look up at him, all doe-eyed and sweet. Youâre pressing your thighs together, drawing his attention to the plush of your thighs, the way hiding in between your legs is your special place that only Kenyu will be allowed to see, to touch, to taste, to love. âWhat do we do now?âÂ
He leans down, whispering in your ear in his familiar, kind voice, âNow, you lay down, and let me show you how much I love you.âÂ
You love Kenyu so much, you think it should be impossible for your heart to have so much room for him. You know Kenyu must feel the same way, but never before has his love for you ever felt so overwhelming. Kenyu pries your thighs apart, forcing you to open your legs for him, but you didnât know showering you in his love meant that he was going to take his fingers and rub against the mound in your underwear.Â
âW-wait, Kenny!â You yelp, trying to shut your legs, but heâs too big, too strong. He blocks the movement, keeps you nice and spread for him. âIââ You donât know what to tell him, and you donât know how to explain why thereâs a tiny puddle gathering in the thin fabric of your panties. Sometimes, you feel funny and this starts to happen, usually after a long makeout session with your boyfriend.Â
âYouâre so wet for me, [Name].â He almost sounds in awe, staring down at your covered pussy almost as if in a trance. The pace heâs using is rather slow; heâs content, for now, with just stroking his fingers up and down your covered slit, fascinated with the way he can watch you slowly drench through the cotton. The wet spot only continues to grow; he bets he can get his fingers damp with your arousal soon, and he wouldnât even have to take your panties off to do so. âDo you always get this wet for me?âÂ
You want to cry, and you can even feel the tears welling up in your eyes. He looks up, instantly stopping his ministrations, his concern written all over his expression. âHey, hey.â He shushes you, peppering kisses all over your face. Heâs not stroking you anymore, but his large hand is cupping your pussy, the heat of his hand encasing your special place. Youâre practically throbbing against him, your cunt aching and hungry for his touch. He just has to get you to open up for him, to understand. âThereâs nothing wrong with that. Youâre supposed to get wet right here for me, you know that?âÂ
You sniffle, unsure if heâs just placating you. âReally?â
âReally.â His smile is so gentle, his tone so soothing and reassuring. Heâs back to grazing his knuckles across your cunt, enjoying the way the fabric keeps on getting damper. âIt means your body is happy, and it lets me know that you love me as much as I love you.âÂ
His other starts to tug at your waistband, dragging down your panties until heâs pulling them right off. His breath catches in his throat as he looks down and stares at your pussy for the first time. Your folds are glistening, your little clit peeking out at him, begging for him to suck on, to rub against.Â
âCute.â He tells you, tracing a finger curiously against your slit, the tip of his index finger so close to entering your clenching, unbreached hole. âIâm going to make you feel really good now, okay, [Name]? Tell me, have you ever played with yourself down here?âÂ
âWha-?â Youâre confused, appropriately so. The boys and girls were separated during sex education, but you remember your teacher drilling it into your heads that under no circumstances should a young girl ever touch herself. You had been confused at the time, confused as to why anyone would ever. Youâve been taught that only your husband should ever touch you right there. But Yukimiya loves you, and heâs going to be your husband, and now youâre starting to think you know why girls may want to touch themselves. Youâve felt this heat in between your thighs before, this mysterious hunger for something, but now youâre feeling it tenfold. You shake your head, too choked up to speak.Â
âNo? Not even like this?â You donât expect Kenyu to insert his finger. The intrusion is foreign, but not entirely unwelcome. Your walls instinctively clench around his digit, and he has to remind himself to breathe, to remain collected, to take things slow so you can enjoy yourself properly. âYouâre clamping down on just one finger.â He breathes out, curling his finger, moving it against your walls. He brushes against a spongy spot inside of you, one that has you jerking up, a shocked, pleasured moan escaping from your parted lips. âThat feel good?â He asks, before adding a second finger, both of them bumping against that same sweet spot.Â
Your legs feel like jelly, and you nod weakly. It does feel good. Too good. So overwhelmingly good that a foreign, euphoric sensation is taking over you. You canât seem to control your body, and you canât stop the flow of cute, pleasured mewls flowing from your mouth, and you manage to scream out a warning to Yuki. âS-something isââÂ
A clear stream of liquid spurts out of you, splashes onto him, soaks your cute comforter.Â
âFuck, youâre amazing.â Your walls are too sensitive now, but throughout the whole process, Yukimiya never stops thrusting his fingers in and out of your inexperienced cunt. His eyes are wide, but the gleam in them is sharp, hungry, calculating. âI didnât even get a chance to mess with your cute little clit. You came just from penetration?â He finally removes his fingers, examining the way your juices are dripping off his digits. âYou didnât just cum, you squirted.â
You turn your head, trying to bury your face in a pillow so he canât see the embarrassed and debauched expression on your face, but he takes his dry hand and forces you to continue looking up at him.
âThatâs a good thing, sweetheart.â He coos, sucking at his fingers obscenely before releasing them from his mouth with a pop!. âIt means youâre perfect and all ready for me.âÂ
Kenyu knows that his cock is the first cock youâve ever seen, and heâll make damn certain that itâs the only one youâll be seeing for the rest of your life. Thereâs no frame of reference for you to use, but you donât think that men should be so big. When he frees his dick, making a show of squeezing tightly at the base and pumping it, showing off to you, you swallow hard.Â
He taps the head of his cock against your swollen, needy clit, teasing the both of you. Heâs losing all sense of restraint, and even rubbing the underside of his cock against your glistening folds, trying to slick up his cock so itâll be easier to glide into your soaked cunt, is enough to make him want to cum.Â
âIâm going to fuck you now, sweetheart.â His voice sounds strained, the gentle tone hanging on by a thread. âWeâll be making love for the first time. Arenât you excited?âÂ
You nod. Excited and nervous. His cock much larger than his fingers, and maybe he should have prepped you more, but you came so easily. He always knew you were perfect for him. Pleasure is so unknown to you, the tiniest taste of it is enough to take you out. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
He holds your hand and kisses you to distract you from the sting of his cock breaching your virgin cunt. You gasp into the kiss, pain registering in your mind first, but Yukimiya is quick to take your breath away, to swallow up any potential protests that might have come. He keeps on kissing you, his fingers intertwined with your own, and heâs pushing himself as deep as he can go. He only lets up from the kiss the second heâs buried to the hilt, and you greedily swallow up the oxygen youâve been deprived of.Â
The feeling of a hard cock inside of you is foreign, but your body clings to his length. Unlike his fingers, with its dexterous ministrations that had you keening and squirting when he brushed them against a special spot, his cock fills you up, stuffs you full. Your cunt is greedily sucking him in, and when he whispers that heâs going to really start moving now, itâs not just one spot that heâs hitting.
Youâre not sure whatâs happening to your body, but it feels like Yukimiya is wringing out pleasure from you from every angle inside of you.Â
âAh, fuck, you feel so good for me, sweetheart. Such a tight pussy, so wet, so warm.â The heat encasing his cock is nothing like heâs ever experienced before. The wet warmth of your pussy is so inviting, so intensely pleasurable, that Kenyu doesnât think heâll be able to last. Cumming so soon might be embarrassing, but itâs not. Not when itâs his sweet girlâs pussy thatâs begging for his cum.Â
You wail out his name, your legs reflexively encircling around his waist, locking him in, keeping him close to you as you cum again. This orgasm is practically ripped out from you, your cunt way too sensitive, the repeated battering of his cock drilling into your hole too much for your inexperienced mind and body to handle.Â
âKenyu, Kenyu, Kenyu!â When you say his name like that, it makes it hard for him to not immediately bust a load inside of you. Gone is the gentle expression from your boyfriendâs face; in its place is something feral, dark.Â
When he pulls out, he sees your white cream coating his cock. When he thrusts back in, he hears the lewd squelch of your wet, overstuffed pussy. Itâs enough to drive a man insane with lust.
âHey, sweetheart.â He grunts out, and your head struggles to remain straight, to not loll to the side and let yourself be used. You look up at him, but your eyes are glassy and your mind seems to be in a far away place, so far gone, so fucked out. âWeâre going to get married soon. So itâs okay if I get you pregnant right now, right?â His bare cock fucking your virgin pussy raw. Heâs going crazy. âIâm gonna fill you up, get you all nice and bred for me. Make you my wife, make you a mommy.âÂ
The domestic daydream makes you tighten up around him, even though your body is too weak to cum again. Thatâs alright. Heâll just have to cum enough for the both of you.Â
âHang onto me, sweetheart.â And you do. Your legs are still wrapped around him, but you weakly raise your arms, holding him close to you. He starts pounding at your pussy, his unrivaled speed and strength turning you into mush. You have to dig your nails into the muscled skin of his back, feeling like youâre on the edge of a cliff, about to crash.Â
âFuck, Iâm about to put a baby in you, love. My sweet girl, my sweet wife.â He kisses you, messy and sloppy, and he stills. The aggressive thrusts stop, and you realize why.Â
Thereâs a new heat entering inside of you; hot spurts of his cum are pouring into you, and he only moves his hips a bit to plug you up further, to make sure none of his seed can trickle out of you.Â
Youâre about to lose consciousness, your brain fried from pleasure and exhaustion. All you do is weakly mumble out his name before the world goes black.
You think if this is what making love is, you love love.
âHoly shit, Yukki.â Isagi gapes at his shirtless teammate.Â
Yukimiya glances up, about to pull his jersey over his head. âWhat?âÂ
âWhat the hell happened to you?âÂ
âHm?â He asks, before turning to try to examine his back. Across the pale muscles are thin, red scratches, fading slightly from the time itâs been etched onto his skin by your nails. He smiles serenely, his mild-mannered attitude ever present. âOh, this? My fiancee likes me close to her at all times.âÂ
#kenyu yukimiya x reader#yukimiya x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#kanyu yukimiya x you#yukimiya smut#blue lock smut#bllk smut#bllk scenarios#drabble#one shot#imagine#smut#lemon#kinktober 2024
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(dont) kiss me thru the phone
you were pissed that your boyfriend cheated on you and then had the audacity to ghost you after you confronted him about it. what better way to get that anger out than fucking his best friend
suna x f!reader â smut â 2.3k cw: fingering, dirty talk(?), penetration, cheating(?), cucking, phone sex(?), exhibitionism(?) a/n: all those damn question marks bc i cant tell if it would technically count anywho i dont condone cheating but like if someone told me they fucked their cheating bf's bsf i wouldnt judge also sorry for the osamu slander i was never a big fan of the miya twins bc i was too focused on suna so im sorry if i offend any miya stans </3
â
you were pissed. you were beyond pissed actually. yeah, you were sad of course when you found out your boyfriend osamu had been cheating on you with some cheerleader from a neighboring college. but you were furious now that osamu had decided to ghost you after telling him you wanted to talk it out. it was pathetic and you were utterly offended. you were also upset with yourself, having not been able to see any signs that you had been dating scum of the earth.Â
you know you couldve been the one to take the higher ground. just take his disappearance as the breakup and try to move on with the help of the people in your life that actually cared about you. but you just couldnt. he went low and you wanted to go much much lower.Â
knock knock knockÂ
standing outside of sunaâs townhome, you were growing a little nervous. there was a chance suna would push you away and go inform your cheating now ex-boyfriend. but youâve seen the way suna looked at you. you werenât stupid. everytime osamu dragged you to parties or hangouts with his friends suna always looked at you like he was fucking you with his eyes. you stood there, hands shoved in the pockets of your pajama pants as the cold night breeze swept over you.Â
your body stilled when he opened the door, bare torso on display while a pair of grey shorts hung loosely at his hips. you could smell the faint scent of weed seeping out of his house. his hair was messy in the best way, green eyes narrowed at you slightly. you couldnt deny that he was attractive. but when you were still a loyal and doting girlfriend, no one else seemed as hot as your boyfriend. but things were different now.Â
âhello?â sunas tone was indifferent, a bit raspy from whenever he was smoking. he craned his neck for just a moment, seeing if osamu was trailing behind somewhere.Â
âsuna i know you want to fuck me,â you blurted out, earning equally wide eyes from the man before you. he choked on his own spit, turning his head as he coughed. your face felt like it was on fire and for a second you regretted ever coming here. âim sorry i-â he was quick to put up a finger, silently telling you to wait as he got himself together. clearing his throat, suna stood up a bit taller with skepticism written all over his face. his eyes once again scanned over the area.
âare you confronting me?â suna had absolutely no clue what was going on. he half expected osamu to jump out of the bushes and knock him up just for not denying it. but he would be a liar if he did. it was true. he did want to fuck you and knew he could do so much better than osamu. but of course he didnt make any moves with the bro-code and all.Â
âno im not,â you shook your head, sucking in a deep breath to try to calm yourself. âi have a um⊠proposal,â sunaâs eyebrows quirked, the corners of his lips tugging into an intrigued smile. he crossed his arms, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe.Â
âwell,â you grew self conscious now, rocking back on your heels as you stared at the doormat. âosamu cheated on me and is now ghosting me after i asked to talk about it and to be honest im really pissed,â suna had to manually keep his features stoic even though he was feeling a whirlwind of emotions. he was sad for you of course, no one wants to get cheated on. he was mad at osamu for cheating on someone like you. but there was also this sick sense of pride, that you came to him. suna always knew he could be better for you and now you were at his doorway. you took in another deep breath, getting ready to spew out the words before you could take them back. âi want you to call osamu because i think heâll pick up⊠and if he does,â you took a hand out of your pocket, nervously running it through your hair. âif he does iâll let you fuck me,âÂ
the silence seemed to drag on forever. after your word vomit both you and suna had to take a moment to process the words you just said. you looked at sunas ever bland face and had no way of knowing what he was thinking.Â
âso,â suna started, not able to hide the smug smile on his face. âyou want me to fuck you with osamu on the phone?â he watched as you nodded slowly and could feel his dick twitch in his shorts at the thought. he would effectively being ending their friendship if he did that and maybe others. but the thought of being inside you was oh so enticing. âthats a little kinky dont you think,â sunas smile only grew when he saw how flustered you were getting. it was almost hard to believe you came up with that idea.
âwill you do it yes or no?â you asked instead of answering his question. because he was right. it did sound a bit kinky and you didnt feel like trying to make sense of it right now. suna did use words to answer, instead pushing off of the doorframe and motioning for you to head in. letting out a shuddery breath, you walked in. your heart was beating like crazy when suna closed the door behind you, turning on a warm lamp before flopping onto the couch. you took off your shoes, awkwardly standing by the doorway.Â
âso run this little plan of yours by me one more time,â he patted his hand on the cushion next to him, watching you with now hungry eyes. you sat on the edge of the couch, hands in your lap as you laid it all out on him. you wanted suna to call osamu and tell him he was fucking some random girl. you wanted to know if osamu would stay on the line. you wanted to know if he had any remorse for what he had done to you. you told suna you didnt want him to reveal it was you. that you would do the honors when you were ready. suna listened patiently, nodding along as the tent in his shorts grew with each word that left your pretty lips. âwell if you want to do this we cant exactly fuck with you on the other side of the couch,âÂ
excitement and anxiousness coursed through your veins when suna motioned for you to come sit on his lap. he wasnt trying to hide the obvious bulge in his shorts now and the size of it made you just a bit nervous. you straddled his lap with a shaky breath, looking down between the two of you as he called osamu. he put the phone on speaker, turning the volume all the way up and tossing it onto the cushion next to him.Â
his hands found their way to your hips as you both waited for osamu to answer, sliding them up and down your sides.Â
âhey whats up?âÂ
your breath hitched in your throat when you heard his voice. anger once again rising up over the fact that he was going out of his way to ghost you but picked up the phone for his friend almost instantly.Â
ânot much, got a pretty girl in my lap right now,â sunas tone made your body feel warm all over. he got bolder with his touches, his fingers playing with the hem of your loose fitting shirt. âsaid she was a freak ân wanted me to call you so you could listen,âÂ
the laugh osamu let out was evil. you both could hear shuffling on his end while sunas hands moved further up.Â
âno shit really?â
you licked your now dry lips as suna slowly pulled your top off, a low whistling leaving his mouth as he eyed your boobs. he was quick to grab at them. one hand groping one boob softly while the other pulled and pinched at your nipple.Â
âyes really, shes got pretty tits,â he was quick to suck your now hardened nipple in his mouth, hips jerking under you. your breath grew ragged as you fought to stay quiet. you wanted osamu to hear you but you didnt want to be loud enough for him to know it was you just yet. he pulled off of your now wet nipple with a soft âpopâ, his hands traveling down to grope your ass. ânice ass too,â he mused softly, looking at you with mischievous eyes as he grabbed onto the back of your thighs and gently laid you onto the couch.Â
you looked up at him with wide eyes, bottom lip caught between your teeth as he slipped your pajama bottoms off. something flashed in his eyes when he saw the pretty lace panties you had on. he wanted nothing more than to rip them off of you but he decided against it for now.Â
âhow wet is she,âÂ
â âm about to find out,â your face cringed at osamus words for just a second. because in the next, suna was smiling at you wickedly while he pulled your panties to the side. a low groan left sunas chest as he slid a finger over your already glistening folds. for a second, he forgot all about your plan, looking up at you with wide, lust filled eyes. âholy fuck youre soaked,â you turned your head away, face growing hot with embarrassment. but suna was quick to gently grab your chin, turning your face towards him once again. âkeep your eyes on me,â he said softly, licking his lips as he lightly pressed his finger onto your clit.Â
the sound of shuffling on the other line was what brought suna back to the present and for a moment he felt a bit possessive, suddenly not wanting osamu to listen in anymore like a pervert. but he continued to play along.
âshes fucking begginâ for it,â he said moreso to osamu as he slowly pushed a finger inside you. a soft hiss left his lips when he felt how tight you were, already clenching around him so well even if it was just one finger. at this point osamu wasnât responding with words, his heavy breaths the only thing that could be heard. suna shrugged after a moment of waiting for a response, pressing a second finger inside your walls. you whined softly, eyelids fluttering as your hips twitched against him. he continued to work his fingers inside you, thumb rubbing over your clit in soft circles as the sounds of him fucking you with his fingers grew louder.Â
âoh fuck i can hear her,âÂ
osamus voice was strained, no doubt affected by what he could hear over the phone. he was no doubt referring to the obscene noises coming from your dripping cunt while suna fucked his fingers into you.Â
soft whines and heavy pants were all you could manage out, afraid of giving it away too soon. your hips bucked up towards sunas hand as he worked you closer to an orgasm. his dick was straining uncomfortably against his shorts and he was growing impatient. âshes about to cum all over my hand,â suna breathed out, it was getting hard for him to pretend he was enjoying transcribing what he was doing to his cheating friend. he didnt even know if he could call osamu a friend anymore. there was silence on the other end and sunaâs brows furrowed when he thought he heard osamu moan.Â
this was becoming harder for you to keep up, thighs trembling as you got closer and closer to release. you swore you were going to chew off your lip with how hard you were biting it. your eyes were screwed shut, hands clamping onto the couch and sunas arm. when he brought his thumb up to your clit, rubbing tight circles and pressing into it, it didnt long for you to come undone around him, a strangled moan escaping you as your back arched off of the couch.Â
âfuck she sounds hot,âÂ
âshe is,â that flash of possessiveness punched through suna again as he continued to slowly fuck you through your orgasm. something snapped in suna when he could hear what could be nothing other than osamu jacking off. he hastily pulled his cock out of his shorts, laying your thighs over his. his breath was ragged at he ran his tip over your slit, a groan leaving his chest when he nudged at yout fluttering hole. you whimpered, bringing a hand up to cover your mouth.Â
suna was growing frustrated with each noise you suppressed, he desperately wanted to hear you. wanted to hear you get fucked on his dick. he grabbed onto your hips roughly, pushing inside you with a shaky moan. fortunately for him, you were also growing tired of forcing yourself to stay quiet. you wrapped your arms around sunas neck, pulling him flush against you. both of you moaned when he bottomed up and finally being able to hear you almost made suna cum right then.Â
but osamu ruined it, letting out a loud moan through the phone. suna, who had finally had enough, sat up and grabbed his phone.Â
âiâm fucking your girlfriend,â
âwait wha-âÂ
he hung up, tossing the phone to the side and looking back at you. your eyes were wide as you watched, cunt still clenching around him. suna put his hands on your hips, pulling out slowly before slamming back in, earning a loud cry from you.Â
âfuck- âm glad thats over with,â he began rocking into you slowly, eyes glued onto the sight of his dick disappearing inside you. ânow i can hear all your pretty noises,â
i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very much appreciated <3
#suna x reader#suna x you#rintaro x reader#rintaro x you#suna rintarou#rintaro suna#suna smut#rintaro smut#suna rintaro smut#rintaro suna smut#suna rintaro x reader#rintaro suna x reader#suna rintaro#suna rintaro haikyuu#miya osamu#osamu miya#hq smut#haikyuu smut#hq x reader#hq x you#f!reader#smut#cy.writes#cy.writes: fics#haikyuu
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Arranged Marriage hcs with Toji (fem reader)
AU where Toji has cursed energy and was picked by the zenin clan. (he still hates them lol) also he doesn't meet mamagumi so megu is your biological son in this au :3
note: just some quick hcs cuz i couldn't get this thought out of my head. I've seen a bunch of arranged marriage satoru related things but I thought I'd switch it up. mentions of pregnancy
Arrangedhusband!Toji hates his family and refuses to get married just to fuck them over. (they want an heir)
Arrangedhusband!Toji who goes on a complete rampage when the news about his soon to be marriage finally reaches him through hushed whispers of some maids.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who immediately goes to see Naobito, former head of the Zenin Clan to ask what the fuck is going on.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who is enraged when he hears "you were given the opportunity to settle down yourself, but you didn't so we took matters into our own hands."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who requests to not have a wedding, he'll just sign the damn papers and get it over with.
Arrangedhusband!Toji doesn't visit you for at least a week upon your arrival. He's still pissed.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who finally decides to go visit you, he knocks on your door. You were given your own room to adjust to everything even though Naobito wanted you to be with Toji.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who's shocked when Mai opens the door and he sees you getting your hair done by Maki. The twins decorated your hair with a bunch of different flowers. (they're like maybe 10 in this)
Arrangedhusband!Toji who just stares at you. He doesn't say a word because he doesn't really know what to say. He didn't even know what you looked like until right now.
Arrangedhusband!Toji snaps out of his trance when you break the silence. "Good morning, Toji. It's nice to finally meet you." He catches on to your attitude at the end of your sentence and he doesn't even realize his lip quirking upward. Here he was thinking you'd be some damsel in distress, but it turns out you're pretty confident.
Arrangedhusband!Toji responds with "Uh, hey.." Is that the best he could come up with? You've left him at a loss for words.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who tries to get his shit together and deepens his voice to try and intimidate you a little. "Mornin', [name]. I'll send some maids over this way later. You are to accompany me for dinner tonight."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who hides a growing smile when you say, "Taking me on a first date after getting married? I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the other way around."
Arrangedhusband!Toji sits at the table waiting for your arrival. After seeing you he wanted to spend some alone time getting to know you, but his mother insisted on throwing a proper welcome dinner with the whole family.
Arrangedhusband!Toji requested that you sit right next to him. When you arrive someone ushers you to your seat. He whispers quietly enough for only you to hear, "being late to a family dinner isn't a good look for ya, pretty."
"well, excuse me for getting lost like three times." you say with a roll of your eyes. Naobito clears his throat, and Toji sighs.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who mumbles "thank you for the food." so everyone could start eating. He gets a little defensive when Naobito bombards you with questions, "I hope you are settling in well, but I'll get straight to business. When do you think you'll be ready to bear a child?"
Arrangedhusband!Toji who gets ready to speak up for you but you quickly cut him off, "Not anytime soon, sir. No offense. I just met your nephew today. I did not come here to be bred like some dog. I came here to settle the dispute between our families." Everyone is shocked by your words. You just told off the former head of the clan..
Arrangedhusband!Toji is proud of you. "I agree with her." Naobito gives him a sour look before responding, "Toji, you need to get a better hold on your woman. She should have some manners."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who gets up from the table and hauls you over his shoulder. It's embarrassing to say the least but neither of you speak a word until you're far enough away.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who sets you down, a smirk prominent on his face, "That was so bad ass. No one's ever spoke to him that way."
"Really? Not even you? That's surprising, you seem like the rebellious type."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who really starts to grow on you. He follows you everywhere and he learns something new about you every day, as do you too. He never restricts your freedom and supports many of your actions.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who will even spar with you sometimes when you're looking to improve.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who feels his heart swell a little bit when you kiss him. He's never felt anything like this before, and he doesn't want to admit that he'll get used to it.
Arrangedhusband!Toji invites you to finally move into his own bedroom, since "we've been married for a few months now."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who likes seeing your stuff alongside his in his room.
Arrangedhusband!Toji feels happier than he has in years. All his family wanted to do was train him to perfection and treat 'worthless' women like shit. He didn't want any of that though. So he sees you as a blessing in disguise.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who itches to give you a baby after seeing how you are around his twin cousins. You're gentle, but you never forget to scold them when they get into trouble.
Arrangedhusband!Toji after your second year anniversary brings up the idea to you, "Not for the selfish reasons my uncle wants. Just for us. We could even live somewhere else." You two are sitting in your shared bedroom. His eyes tell no lies, "What do you mean by live somewhere else? I don't think it matters how far we go, baby. If Naobito catches wind of a potential Zenin heir he'll track us down."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who assures you he could take care of this situation, if you wanted to have a baby. He doesn't want his future child/children to have to go through the same abuse he went through.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who doesn't know that you're already a month or two pregnant.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who has one of his "friends" come get you to take you to your new home. "Toji, you should come with me. I don't think this is a good idea."
"I'll see you in a day or two. I love you, baby. Gojo, no funny business or I'll fuck you up." He threatens.
"Are you doubting me, my dear friend? I wouldn't let anything happen to your precious wife." Toji flip him off. You watch as his figure gets smaller and smaller until you can't see him anymore. (they're frenemies in this au)
Arrangedhusband!Toji who immobilizes his uncle, which takes great effort. He doesn't come out fully unscathed. He's okay, though. He's doing it for his and your future.
Arrangedhusband!Toji who utters something to Naobito before leaving the Zenin clan, "I don't ever want to see your face again, you old geezer. Don't ever come looking for me or my wife, because the next time we meet, I'll kill you."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who knocks on the door of your new apartment and is relieved to see that you're just how he left you.
You gasp at his beat up stature and you sit him down to clean him up.
"They'll never bother us again." He mutters and he sees you smile a little bit.
"I'll miss the twins," you say with a little sigh. He moves his big hand to cup your face as you are trying to wipe the blood off of his, "You've taught them plenty. I'm sure they'll follow our path and make it out of the clan sooner or later."
Arrangedhusband!Toji who is thrilled when you tell him you're pregnant.
Arrangedhusband!Toji goes to extreme lengths to protect you and you have to remind him you can still accomplish things on your own.
Arrangedhusband!Toji Husband!Toji who has both your last names changed to Fushiguro to help hide his identity. You actually debated with him about this.
"Toji, you literally just chose the first name you saw on a site of Japanese last names. We need to put thought into it."
"Oh come on baby, you gotta admit Toji Fushiguro sounds better than Toji Zenin." He never fails to find a lazy way out of things.
Husband!Toji who lets a single tear fall from his eye when he sees you cradling your little boy.
"He looks just like you." You grumble playfully and his lips quirk up into a smirk, "Eh what can I say? He got the good genes."
You fight the urge to hit him with a pillow.
Husband!Toji tells the nurse the name you two agreed on for your son, "Megumi Fushiguro."
Husband!Toji who always gets scolded by you for using bad words around your son.
"Fuck!" Megumi yells when he colors outside of the line. Your head whips around so fast and Toji looks away.
"Gumi! Don't say that. That is a very bad word." You tell him. He tilts his head to the side, "Well Dad says them."
"Does he now? I'm pretty sure Dad knows he shouldn't say those words." After a minute Toji thinks he's in the clear so he turns his head back to see you glaring at him.
"I won't do it again." He hears you mumble 'liar.'
Husband!Toji who's mad that despite his looks, his son is a complete mama's boy. "Hey kid, wanna head to the park for a little 'while?"
"Can mama come?" Your husband grunts.
"Nah, it'll just be me and you. Father and son." He says with a grin hoping to bait him.
Megumi goes back to his video he's watching. With an uninterested tone he responds, "Oh, then I don't wanna go."
He rolls his eyes and walks away, "Well whatever."
Husband!Toji who decided he wants a do over, and gives you the proper wedding you deserve.
Husband!Toji who loves you and his son very much. He couldn't have asked for anything better than this. You are his blessing.
tagging @blkkizzat bc this is her man LMAO
#toji fushiguro#toji zenin#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro toji#toji zenin x reader#toji fluff#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#zenin clan#megumi fushiguro
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đ đąđ«đ„ đđđ! đŹđźđ€đźđ§đ ê°áą. .áąê±âËâč
featuring. sukuna ryomen x reader
warnings. sukuna wanted a son, but got a daughter instead (he's smitten for her shh), sukuna is modern af bye he knows how to use a phone ok, reader is called "wife", ooc sukuna bye
note. ok listen, i've been having a girl dad sukuna brainrot lately. and i even gave out a req to @rrairey (u go check out her works rn) â but i just had to write something about girl dad sukuna jsjdksjks it's on my mind 25/8 and i can't stop unless i actually write abt him (i'm lying, he's still going to be in my mind bye).
girl dad! sukuna who initially wanted a son but when he finds out he's going to be having a daughter instead, he didn't know how to feel. he thought that if he had a son, he could at least play "rough" with him. it's sukuna, he doesn't know what soft is.
girl dad! sukuna who has to secretly watch tutorial videos on the most random thing like "how to play nicely with your daughter" or "how to be nice to your daughter". but also searches up for things like "easy hairstyles to give your daughter for beginners", when your daughter isn't even born yet.
girl dad! sukuna who hates to admit it but he's pretty worried about having a daughter. finally shoves his ego down his throat and comes up to you to talk about it, and you encouraged that he's going to be a good father â but still, he's worried.
"ryo, you're worried about what exactly?" you asked the male, brushing his hair.
"not being a good father." he replies, leaning into your touch with a big frown on his face, grumbling under his breath slightly about how embarrassed he is to be so fragile in front of his own wife.
"baby, you're going to be the best father."
although your words were supposed to be encouraging, and he did feel a bit of burden lift off of his shoulders â the male still couldn't help but to worry about his unborn daughter.
girl dad! sukuna who complains about your pregnancy cravings and how his daughter is a weird baby. despite that, he will go out of his way to get you what you wanted, not caring if it was two in the morning, or five in the morning. he will get it for you and your growing daughter inside your belly.
girl dad! sukuna who grows anxious when your due date was inching closer. he took a break off from work and devoted his time to look after you, especially since you were walking for two right now. even if you did tell your husband that you were fine â he still thinks it's his job to look after you and your daughter.
"damn it brat, stop moving so much. you'll hurt yourself," he gently tugs on your arm, directing you to the couch, "what'dya want?"
"sausages and blueberry jam . . ." you tell him nonchalantly, missing the look of disgust on his face.
". . . just stay there." he walks a few steps before turning back, "don't move."
girl dad! sukuna who watches labor videos only to focus on the husbands and what they were doing in it so he could try to take notes and searches for what he should get ready for labor, or if he could do anything as a husband for his wife during labor. the results didn't ease his worries â they added up his worries. like adding fuel to the fire, the internet tells him that giving birth was the second most painful thing after getting burned alive.
girl dad! sukuna who already thought of names for your daughter and even buys things for her. telling you that he'd be out to grab a few things and then coming back with a crib set, toys, or even a baby walker. he even got a baby strap for both you and him to use, picking out the most random motives like skulls and fires.
"ryo, why did you pick that motive?" you asked, eyeing the baby strap that had white skulls all over.
"our daughter will like that. i know it." he retorts.
girl dad! sukuna who looked as calm as a cucumber but internally panics the most when your water broke. he grabs the bag that he had packed, following a youtube tutorial and helped you get into the car so that the both of you can finally drive off to the hospital. he holds your hand tightly along the way, showing his worry as he "tries" to follow driving laws (which he ended up driving past the speed limit and had to get a ticket in the hospital).
girl dad! sukuna who had to pay a ticket as you were tended in a hospital room (you didn't know about this and he didn't tell you about it so you won't worry). the doctor telling both you and him that the labor procedure will have to wait up to a few hours as they proceeded with "watchful waiting" after they checked on the baby's condition and yours so they could see if it was safe for you to give birth normally.
girl dad! sukuna who waited those long hours with you as you laid on the bed, telling him how nervous you are. and all the bad possibilities that could happen (he searched that up too), he tells you to stop saying those kind of things. sukuna wasn't angry â he just didn't want you to stress so much, rubbing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb to soothe you. he didn't let go until the doctor came back to finally do something.
girl dad! sukuna who was inside the delivery room with you, even after telling you that he won't come inside a few months ago. holds onto your hand (which you were holding onto tightly as the procedure goes on for hours), he winces â but he didn't care about his hand right now, he only cares about you and his daughter. brushing your hair lightly, mumbling out hushed praises to you (unknowingly, it just comes out), wipes away your sweat with his bare fingers and pressing kisses onto your face every single time he feels your hand clenching around his.
"jus' a bit more, pretty." he whispers, kissing your knuckles multiple times before moving on to kiss your forehead, "a bit more."
girl dad! sukuna who almost bursts into tears when he heard the loud cry of your daughter, but blinked his tears back. peering slightly at your worn out face. he tells you how he's proud of you (spoiler: he hates it if you reminded him about it in the future).
"y'hear that? you did so good, pretty. 'm proud of you," he clung onto your hand, grazing his thumb over your forehead as a smile adorned his face, "she's here, baby."
girl dad! sukuna who couldn't hold his tears back when the nurse suggested skin-to-skin contact with the father. he wasted no time tugging his shirt off to hold his little bundle of joy, nestling her in his arms â unknowingly letting a few stray tears of joy out as he coos down to his newborn daughter.
"oh, you're so pretty, little one." he cradled her gently against his bulky arms, sniffling softly. he was so gentle â different from how he used to be, his eyes soft and watery as he affectionately stares down at his now sleeping daughter.
girl dad! sukuna who slept on a chair by your bed when the doctor told you that you'll be allowed to go home once your body is fit again, he didn't care that he didn't have a bed to lie on. he was just there, prepped in a chair as his fingertips touched your wrist near the IV injection on the back of your hand. making sure he didn't touch the transparent hose. and his eyes darted back and forth from your resting form and his daughter who was now all warm and bundled up inside a bassinet. making sure that the both of you are resting well even if he was barely able to open his eyes fully.
girl dad! sukuna who carried all your bags and your daughter's car seat with ease while leading you down the hospital hallways and to the car. helping you buckle your seatbelt and making sure that his daughter is going to be safe and sound during the ride home, prepping up the car seat like he learned, giving his daughter a light kiss on her head before closing the door.
girl dad! sukuna who tells you to rely on him every time his daughter wakes up in the middle of the night â he won't let you get up, gently tugging you down onto the bed and tucking you underneath the covers before leaving to tend your daughter without any other words. as if his daughter is the most fragile thing in the world, he carries her into his arms and hushed her softly, nuzzling his nose onto her head, trying to get her back to sleep.
"shh, baby, mama's tired right now . . . go back to bed." he whispers, kissing her small forehead.
girl dad! sukuna who offered to shower your baby for the first time after two weeks upon arriving back home (under your watch of course), as you filled the bathinette with warm water â sukuna was cradling her in his arms, swaying his body side to side. and when you tell him the water's ready, sukuna prepped his big hand behind your daughter's small head so the water won't go to her face and began cleaning her. concentrating, he wets his finger and traced it over his daughter's face, making sure she's not frightened. and once he's done, he cupped his hand and scooped some water to wet her hair, rubbing her head lovingly.
girl dad! sukuna who's personality did a somersault ever since you were pregnant with his daughter. turning soft and more clingy, he has your daughter strapped to his chest. and will tell you that he's got it every time his daughter cries or ruined her diapers, he's learnt it all thanks to other great dads on youtube.
girl dad! sukuna who was even more ecstatic than you are when his daughter said her first word, which was of course "mama", he didn't care that she didn't say "dada", he focuses on the fact that his daughter had grown so much to be able to say her first word. tells your bundle of joy how proud he is of her even if she probably doesn't understand her father.
"maa..ma."
sukuna who had his eyes on the television immediately darted to his daughter who was in your hold, his lips were slightly parted as he tries to process what just happened, "did . . . did she . . ?"
when you confirmed his question, he pulled you into his arms and kissed your head before kissing your daughter's head, muttering out a, "papa's proud of you, baby."
girl dad! sukuna who treats both you and your daughter like the most precious beings in the world. he. spoils. you. both. to no end, coming home from work with a present for the both of you. mostly food for you, and a toy for your daughter. you just know [daughter] is going to grow up spoiled by her father.
girl dad! sukuna who spoils your daughter rotten. and ever since her first steps â he's been going out with her to no end, of course going out as a family of three. holding your daughter's chubby little hands as he guided her down the street, earning coos from strangers all around him.
"good girl, that's right . . . left and right." he said softly, watching [daughter] walk slowly, still a little wobbly.
girl dad! sukuna who gets a little emotional when your daughter has her first birthday â because, it's been that fast? he tries not to cry, i swear. but silently slips inside the bathroom and lets a few one out before coming out like he didn't just cry over his daughter growing up too fast. he swore it was just yesterday that he was in the hospital.
girl dad! sukuna who will with no shame, participate in tea parties with his daughter once she's known enough about it. you'd call them both down for dinner and when they didn't, you decided to be the one to approach them inside [daughter]'s room. and there he was, sitting on the floor, to his left and right were [daughter]'s stuffed animals and your daughter was sitting across from sukuna with a silver tiara on.
"this looks fun," you chuckled, eyeing them.
"mama! tea party?" [daughter] beams out at you, you walked over to them and carried your daughter into your arms, "mama, no tea party?"
"after dinner, baby. okay?"
sukuna has no shame in it. at first, he did try to decline his daughter, telling her that she should ask you instead, but your daughter looked so crestfallen that he just has to accept â which turned out to be a daily thing now. a tea party.
girl dad! sukuna who will be his daughter's experiment subject to trying out make ups. he's a little skeptical (lies, he's very skeptical), but it's not like this is the first time he's had make up put on his face. he's had his fair share of you trying to put make up on him, but this was a toddler doing it and not a full grown adult. but he couldn't say no, so he just submits to his daughter and lets her modify his face and clips on cute hairclips to his hair.
"mama mama! look at papa," your daughter cheers, pointing at sukuna. and you laugh, carrying your daughter before approaching the male who was sitting down on the floor in the living room.
"you look pretty, ryo."
"i feel pretty, my little girl did it to me." he rolls his eyes before grabbing a mirror to look at his face.
eh, not bad.
girl dad! sukuna who drops his daughter off for the first day of pre-school, telling her that she should punch anyone who messes with her (thankfully nobody yet). and gets a bit emotional again as she walks inside the building, his eyes going glassy watching her skip inside her new chapter.
girl dad! sukuna who's overprotective when it comes to his little girl. a trip to the park was a daily routine for his family â and believe me when he has eyes everywhere for his little girl, if anyone was bothering her, he would have no fear on finding out who their parent was. taking matters into his own hands, leaving the children out of it. as much as he wanted to confront the kid for bothering his little princess, he knew the parents had the most fault.
"your boy has issues. the next time he lays his hand on my girl, i will come for you." he said to the boy's father before walking back to you.
the boy and his father never came back to the park after that day.
girl dad! sukuna who watches his daughter grow from a small girl to an eight year old in a matter of what felt like a week. he swore yesterday she was just babbling out her first word, and the next thing he knows, she's got a "boyfriend" at school? oh, boy.
"you don't have a boyfriend." he mutters out, eyeing his daughter.
"yes i do have a boyfriend," your daughter replies back with her soft voice.
"no."
the banter continued until your daughter ended up in tears, and sukuna had to force himself to say that she indeed had a boyfriend in school. he's upset that she's growing up too quickly, but at the same time â he's proud of his little girl.
girl dad! sukuna who finds out you were pregnant with a second child, who turned out to be another girl. and he was still as loving and caring like he was with his first daughter, this time, he had a helping hand to take care of you.
"mama has a baby in her belly, so you can't be too rough on her, okay?" he baby talks his eight year old daughter like she's still a small baby â he softly caresses your clothed stomach as he speaks to her.
girl dad! sukuna who had to see his first daughter cry over her new "soon to be" born baby sibling. thinking both you and him were not going to love her anymore â and his heart breaks, because why would he not love his princess anymore?
"hey, hey, why're you cryin'?" sukuna tucks [daughter]'s hair behind her ear as she lets out a few fat tears out of her eyes.
"mama and papa will still love me, right?" she asks, her voice breaking slightly.
sukuna pulls the young girl into his embrace, holding her with one of his arm as he wipes her tears with his other, "'f course mama and i will still love you, you're our princess."
girl dad! sukuna who proudly watches his big girl now approaching his newborn daughter and her sister, eyeing the baby with such an innocent glint in her eyes. oh, and big girl? doesn't matter, to sukuna, your first daughter will always be his little girl.
© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#fluff#jjk#jjk fluff#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#jjk sukuna#i love him#ryomen#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna fluff#modern sukuna
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Attention
Charles and Reader just want Max's attention. And they're gonna do anything to get it.
2.2k
Warnings: smut, p in v, charles is such a fucking tease lmao, oral (male!receiving), charles is in charge of this one lol, threesome, man giving oral to another man
"He's been sitting here for hours," she whispered as she and Charles peered around the door, looking at Max as he sat with his headset on his head.
Max didn't notice them. He let out a laugh as he pulled open his mini fridge full of Red Bull cans. "How many of those as he had?" Charles asked, his hand on her hip. The movement of his thumb normally would have been distracting, but the both of them were too focused on Max.
"I don't know," she whispered and tried to look for the empty cans of Red Bull. But Max was meticulously clean, and all of the cans were already in the bin. "But I swear it only takes, like, four of them to kill you."
At that, Charles released a small laugh. "Ma chérie," he began and pressed his lips to her cheek. "I think he has ten on a race day."
She pulled a face, mouth pulling to the side as she looked at Max. He'd been there for most of the day, not giving the two of them the attention they wanted. She turned, back to Max as he looked at Charles. "What're we gonna do?"
He looked past her, looked over her head at Max. He looked tired, but when didn't he look tired? He was always the last one to crawl into bed and, because of that, got the lumpy side of the mattress and the pillow that had lost it's shape. Their subtle way of punishing him.
"We're gonna get his goddamned attention."
To the rest of the world, she was Max's attention. She wore the Red Bull merchandise, wore Max's cap, held his hand as they walked through the paddock. The world saw her be friendly to Charles, but nothing more than that.
But, in the privacy of the apartment they shared, it was the three of them together. She got to hold Charles, to kiss him like she wanted to. Max got to kiss him, too, something they didn't get to do when they were out and about.
They were high profile men. They couldn't go out on dinner dates, according to their PR teams, and if they wanted to go anywhere as the three of them, she had to duck down in the back seat until the roads were empty.
But they weren't out in the public eye together. They were in their apartment, just the three of them. Well, the three of them... and Team Redline.
Charles stayed out of the view of the camera as she walked over to Max. He settled on the sofa, watching as she walked over and crouched beside him. She pulled off Max's headset, her hand settling on his stomach as she whispered something in her ear.
The stream caught as Max's cheeks flushed red. The other members of Team Redline said something, but Max couldn't hear it with the headset resting over his steering wheel. He turned back, looked at Charles on the sofa.
Looking back at the camera, Max raised his finger. He stood up and made his way over to the sofa, disappearing from stream.
It couldn't be seen as Max launched himself at Charles. He wrapped his arms around him, pushing him back against the back of the sofa. He pressed his lips against Charles's stubbled cheek. He hadn't shaved in a little while, and they both knew he was going to let it grow out (which they didn't mind, he looked damned good with facial hair).
"You guys know I'm streaming, right?" He asked as Charles wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight (unwilling to let him go).
Charles gave him a nod. His hand touched Max's cheek, his jaw. His thumb touched Max's pouty lips, asking for something more. "We know that, mon beau," he whispered as Max took his thumb between his lips. He looked up, looked at where she was still by his set up. "We just want some attention."
Max released Charles's thumb from between his lips. "Later," he said and stood up, making his way back to set up. "Let me finish up here." He sat back, sat in front of the stream, and placed the headset back on his head.
But she was still there, still pouting up at him. Max laid his hand on the top of her head, before turning back to the stream. She glared at him, knowing the moment would be clipped up and posted everywhere in moments. But that wasn't what she was glaring at.
Getting to her feet, she made her way over to Charles. The expression on her face softened as she threw herself down beside him, leg thrown over his lap. "He's being a dick," she mumbled as Charles's thumb moved over the bare skin of her lower leg.
"I know," Charles said and kissed the top of her head. "Let me deal with it."
He grabbed a coaster from the coffee table, ready to launch it at Max. But her hand on top of his stilled him. "Cha, don't," she whispered. "I'm gonna get branded as needy again."
The first time was Charles's fault as well. It was the exact same situation, Charles throwing something at Max to get his attention while he streamed. A little bit of hate came her way from that, twitter fans calling her needy.
Charles released a breath but put the coaster down. "Okay," he said and pulled his phone from his pocket. His fingers moved quickly over the screen, sending a quick text to Max.
The moment his screen lit up, Max read the message. He obeyed what the text said, and removed his headset from one of his ears, giving them slight attention. It wasn't enough, though, not for the two of them.
"What now?" She asked, lips so close to his own.
Charles looked over at Max. He hadn't glanced back at the two of them as he took his headset off one ear, still paying attention to the virtual race in front of him. But that was fine, because Charles still had a couple of tricks up his sleeve.
He pulled her onto his lap, hands holding the back of her thighs as she fell forward and kissed him. It was intense, as it normally was with the two of them. Intense, and all for Max.
A noise left her lips, something close to a whine. Her eyes were wide as she pulled away from him slightly, glancing back at Max. Had he heard it? Had his stream heard it?
But Charles held the back of her head, didn't let her turn around to check. "He heard it," he whispered and kissed her cheek, kissed down towards her throat.
"What about his stream?" She whispered, voice hitching as he sucked on her pulse point.
That stopped Charles. He grabbed his phone again and began watching Max's stream, checking through the chat. She watched it too, looking for any mention of her name or anything that could indicate somebody hearing her noises.
"Nothing," he said and threw his phone to the other side of the sofa. "Where were we?"
His hands travelled into her shorts, holding her ass and squeezing. She let out another noise, but Charles could immediately hear that she was holding back.
All the time that Charles touched her and kissed her, played with her body, he was looking at Max. Not at her, waiting for some sort of reaction from their boyfriend.
He pulled her shorts down, exposing her to the air of the living room. "Charles," she whispered, pressing her face against his neck to try and keep the sounds she was making muffled.
"Let him hear you," he whispered, still looking at Max. His head twitched towards them, giving him away, but he didn't pull his eyes away from the screen.
Charles touched her. His finger moved through her folds, discovering just how wet she was. "Fuck, you're loving this," he whispered. Her cheeks heated up, breath hitching when Charles's thumb bumped against her clit.
Max's eyes were on the both of them, game forgotten about. Voices were coming through his headset, but he ignored it. He watched, shorts tightening, as Charles slipped his finger inside of her.
But then he was still. He held her, not very tight, with one finger inside of her. She whined pathetically, and Max quickly glanced at his chat. Nothing, nobody had heard it.
He was still, so still that the members of Team Redline and those watching his stream thought it was frozen. But then she lifted her hips slightly, and sank back down.
One single noise sounded in their apartment. One word, one syllable, four letters. "More," she whined, unable to keep herself quiet.
"Uh, Max? What the hell was that?"
His chat was blowing up, thousands of messages of people speculating what the noise was. A few people got close to getting it right, and that was what had Max apologising and logging off of the stream.
As soon as nobody could see or hear what was happening inside of the apartment, Max strode over to them. "You just couldn't wait, could you?" He asked as he grabbed her hips and pulled her back into him.
She made a desperate noise and Charles slipped another finger inside. "We said we wanted attention," he said with a shrug.
Her hand desperately grasped at Max's arm. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "What do you need, Liefje?" He asked gently, caressing her cheek.
"One of you," she whispered, stilling her hips.
Charles pulled his fingers out of her. He held them up to Max, who opened his mouth and eagerly sucked on them. "You want her?" He asked and Max nodded.
He pulled her shirt over her head and got her onto the floor between his legs. He gripped her cheek, keeping her looking at him. "You know what to do," he said and squeezed her cheeks, forcing her to pout.
She freed Charles from his jeans. As she wrapped her lips around him, Max grabbed her hips and lifted her. He held her hips and pushed himself forward, pushing through her already soaked folds. A groan left his hips and he threw his head back.
"Fuck, Charles," he grunted as he looked down at her boyfriend. "She feels amazing."
Charles knew. He leaned back and watched the two of them. Her throat constricted around him as Max pushed her forward with every thrust. His hand was in her hair, helping to steady her as Max rutted his hips against her.
The sounds that filled the apartment was so damn lewd, more than anything Charles had pulled from her while Max was on stream. The grip Max had on her hips was bruising, and she loved every second of it.
Even had Charles tried to steady her head, it wasn't helping. She was unmoving, letting Max's thrusts do the work for her. Each time his hips snapped against her, she moved forward, taking Charles further down her throat.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, tears that Charles used his thumb to remove. She could tap out any time, she knew, two quick taps to Charles's side, and they would pull out of her. But she didn't want that. She was in her element.
Suddenly, the rhythm was broken. It had been steady, Max's thrusts keeping time. But he was getting close, loving the way she was squeezing him. "Shit," he grunted out, tightening his grip on her hip. "Shit, shit, shit." Two more sloppy thrusts, and he came inside of her. hips stilling, his legs shaking.
With Max still, she was unmoving. Charles's cock was still down her throat and she looked up at him through wet lashes. "You okay?" He asked, gentle for the first time since Max had logged off of the stream.
She nodded, humming around him. But Charles gently grabbed her and pulled her off of him. He pulled her back onto the sofa and set her down beside him, holding her close.
Immediately, Max was on his knees. He took Charles between his pillowy lips and immediately began bobbing his head. "Fuck, that's it," Charles grunted as Max ran his tongue along the vein.
It didn't take Charles long to finish, to spill down Max's throat. Max concentrated his efforts on Charles's tip, and that was what tipped him over the edge. His body tightened, hand reaching out to grip Max's hair as he came.
Still between Charles's legs, Max pulled himself off of his cock and wiped his mouth. "Happy now?" He asked breathlessly as he looked at the two of them.
"I don't know," Charles mumbled as he turned to her. His hand moved through her hair, staying soft with her. "Do you think we got the attention we deserve?"
She shook her head as she looked at Max. "Not just yet," she said.
Fuck, he was in for a long night.
a/n: this is one of the first oneshots i'm proud of in a while, something i managed to just sit down and write without overthinking it, stopping and starting because i hate it and then never posting. I'm not exactly back on my shit, but we're getting there
#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x reader smut#max verstappen x you#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc x reader smut#charles leclerc x you#lestappen#lestappen imagine#lestappen x reader#lestappen x reader smut#lestappen smut#lestappen x you#poly!f1#f1#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine
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Some thoughts on the end of arcane season 2:
Wow that was even gayer than expected /pos
Episode 7 was damn incredible. Everything I ever wanted from this show, especially with the âwhat could have beenâ themes
I know I wasnât supposed to find it funny but I cracked tf up every time the alternate realities switched. Like itâd go from Ekko on a date in ideal Zaun being like ânooo I HATE parties :(â to Jayce GOING THROUGH IT eating raw meat alone in a cave lmaoooo
TimeBomb canon letsgoooooo
GAY SEX???? GAYY??? SEX?!?!?!?
IN A JAIL CELL FOR SOME REASON???? I mean slay ig??
Side note I had a dream that Vi and Caitlyn had sex but woke up and was like damn too bad theyâll never do that in canon. Iâm a prophet đ
Melâs character design somehow got even better and I love that for her (rip about the mommy issues tho)
Also what was up with Skye being savage as hell? Viktor being like âIâll miss our talksâ and her being like âno you wonâtâ Tf???!?
Ekko slayed this season but whatâs new
Ekko putting Jinx on a suicide watch by rewinding time every time she killed herself was funny as hell ngl. Speaking as someone whoâs been monitored 24/7 for that exact reason
I wanna know what the hell Ekko said to Jinx to convince her to not only not die but also save everyone cuz I feel like we missed some steps
Look I know JayVik didnât become OFFICIALLY canon like the others but that confession was gay as hell. Theyâre canon to me idc
The reveal that the mage who saved Jayce as a kid was Viktor all along?? Side note, my dad actually predicted that by accident because he couldnât remember who was who so yay dad
I know this isnât important whatsoever but VIKTOR WITH A BEARD CAN GET IT
Jinxâs new hair is really growing on me but unfortunately it only lasted like 30 mins
I canât believe jinx fucking died. I seriously didnât think theyâd kill off one of the main characters
Also did Jayce and Viktor die? That was super unclear like where did they go??
I feel like Vi and Sevika really got the short end of the stick with this ending since both of them had at least two found families EACH die off completely
Anyway in summary I LOVED the ending and the little seeds it planted for future spin offs. Once again I watched the whole thing jaw dropped. I kept thinking âwouldnât it be crazy if they did xyz? But they wouldnât do thaaaatâ and then they FUCKING DID IT. 10/10 show, ended as beautifully as Iâd hoped.
#I might write more on this later cuz this was very stream of consciousness#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane season two#jayvik#timebomb#caitvi#arcane reaction
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ËâșïœĄËâËthe outside | CL16ËâșïœĄËâË
pairing: charles leclerc x fem reader y/n x alexandra saint mleux
genre: social media au, polyamory
warnings: polyamory
summary: in which you begin to notice you're on the outside looking in
a/n: love this req!! so unique so i had to write it, hope it's what u wanted<3
request!!!: poly charles Alexandra and y/n where they got Leo and eveyrone celebrating Charlesâs brand LEC but since charles and Alex were the âpublicâ or like launched couple (??) (for Ferrari etc) and y/n canât do anything and sheâs started to feel left out because of it since theyâre going out and celebrating without her and they keep leaving her out and forgetting important dates (eg her birthday or smth) and in other situations too and she canât take it so she tries to break up w them - happy ending please!!
my masterlist âą alternate ending/part 2!!!
fc: nottrebeca_
twitter ->
instagram ->
yourusername đ home
liked by carlossainz55, yourbff, and others
yourusername snippets đž
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user6 real ones know
user7 what lol
user8 who's in the 4th pic duhhh đ
user9 she's so cool
user10 ily y/n!!!!
liked by yourusername
user10 is she really dating charles & alex???
yourbff wowwww hottieeee
yourusername blushingggg đ€
user11 our poly queennnn
user12 almost thought they'd broken up but thank goddd đ
user13 the flowers on the door!!!
yoursister đ©·đ©·đ©·
liked by yourusername
alexandrasaintmleux
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, and others
alexandrasaintmleux meet leo leclerc â€ïž
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user14 SOOO CUTE
user15 đ„čđ„čđ„čđ„čđ„č
user16 awww charles & leo is too cute
scuderiaferrari our new driver for 2025 đ¶
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc
carlossainz55 he will be in the paddock at the next race?
alexandrasaintmleux you already know! đŸ
carlossainz55 oh can't wait to meet him
user17 where's y/nđ©??
user18 best f1 couple
yourusername all of you are so cute!
danielricciardo charles is whipped
alexandrasaintmleux are you surprised? đ€š
danielricciardo no not at all đ
charles_leclerc hey
user19 the cushionđ„č
user20 why did they only ignore y/n's comment
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc lec launch! thanks for all of your support so far!
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user21 omg loveeee
user22 obviously they took leo đ
user23 not y/n tho...?
user24 so obsessed with these two
user25 lol charles in the ball pit
landonorris any ice cream left for me?
charles_leclerc no. sorry though
scuderiaferrari yum! i bet leo loved it
liked by charles_leclerc
user26 charles & alex look so happy together
user27 leo is so famous now đ
yourusername so so proud! looks amazing
user28 Y/N BLANKED AGAIN?
user29 what's happening....
messages ->
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user30 make him stop growing!!!
user31 he just gets cuter & cuter
user32 aww thts ur baby
charles_leclerc đ„
liked by alexandrasaintmleux
yourusername we could've spent it tgthr đŸ
alexandrasaintmleux i wish!! im so exhausted from all the travelling
yourusername aww too bad
yourusername posted a story
liked by yourbff, carlossainz55, landonorris, and others
yourbff oh hot mamaaaaa đ¶ïž
yourusername shush u đ€
yourbff i will when u stop looking like that!
user33 omg hot girllll
user34 wow i would never ignore u đ
landonorris damn
yourusername đ NEXT!
carlossainz55 đ„đ„đ„
yourusername keep it movingggg
user35 i want u y/n đ
messages ->
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yourbff posted a story
liked by yourusername, yoursister, and others
yourusername AWWWW
yourusername the second pic LOL
yourusername i love you so much!!!!
yourbff i love you unreal amountsđ©·đ©·đ©·
yourusername cant wait to celebrate with u!
yourbff ME TOO!!!
yoursister posted a story
liked by yourusername, yourbff, and others
yourusername love you sososososo much!!!!!
yoursister i love you more!!!!
yourusername see you later đ©·đ©·đ©·
messages ->
txts between charles & alex !!!
instagram ->
yourusername
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yourusername another trip around the sun âïž
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user36 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
user37 haps baps y/n
user38 we love u y/n
user39 happy birthday to the most gorgeous woman alive
user40 i wish i was her
arthur_leclerc happy birthday đ
liked by yourusername
lorenzotl happy birthday y/n!
liked by yourusername
charles_leclerc happy birthday honey, je t'aime â€ïž
leclerc_pascale happy birthday my darling đ©·
yourusername thank u so much đ«¶
alexandrasaintmleux happy birthday my gorgeous girl, love you đ„°
user41 not the whole leclerc family commenting
user42 yea and her ignoring charles.....?
user43 AND ALEX!?!!!!
user44 oh smt is going on...
f1gossip
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f1gossip charles leclerc seen having what looks like a heated discussion with a visibly upset y/n y/l/n. the two have been dating, along with alexandra saint mleux, for just over a year. y/n was later spotted in an uber alone, covering her face, whilst alex and charles rode together. thoughts? đ
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user45 omg :(
user46 bro i knew something was going on
user47 same all the weird ignoring of each other's comments lately....
user48 urm sus
user49 poor y/n
user50 this is why i'd be scared to be poly :((
user51 same a group of 3 means someone always gets left out đ
user52 i wondered how y/n felt whilst charles & alex were travelling tgthr with leo and promoting LEC... :/
user53 free my girl y/n
user54 omg this is so awful they dont get privacy đ
user55 was she crying :(
user56 wow happy birthday to y/n then
user57 stop it omgggg so sad
messages ->
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yourbff wow you really did mean the biggest bouquet
yourusername đ yuppp
landonorris whoa they are REALLY sorry
yourusername you're telling me
carlossainz55 i could do better
yourusername dont bother đ
user58 oh i could guess who these are from
user59 omg. y/n deserves!!!
pierregasly heyyy
yourusername dont you start too
alexandrasaintmleux â€ïž
charles_leclerc â€ïž
yourusername
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yourusername some soul searching
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user60 cosy sad girl :(
user61 we love u so much y/n
liked by yourusername
user62 as gorgeous as ever
user63 the exile lyrics r so real
user64 y/n being a swiftie just makes sense
yourbff i love you
yourusername i love u đ«¶
user65 she's beautiful even when she's sad
landonorris đ„đ„đ„
yourusername still here?
user66 omg LOLLL
user67 he's so real for this
alexandrasaintmleux â€ïž
liked by yourusername
user68 hmmm
messages ->
instagram ->
yourusername posted a story
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yourbff oh?
yourusername hearing them out đ„°
yourbff ok girlboss let me know if u need me
yourusername of course <3
user69 OMG LEO
user70 you finally get to hang out with leo?
user71 throuple back?
user72 ARE WE BACK???
twitter ->
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charles_leclerc please bring her home to us lol
alexandrasaintmleux im on it đ
charles_leclerc đđđ
user73 omg...???
user74 we are back? (hesitant)
user75 OMGGG Y/N MY GIRL
user76 save the throuple alex!!!
user77 she's so gorgeoussss
charles_leclerc
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charles_leclerc life with leo
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user78 OMG
user79 nobody panic but we are BACKKK
user80 the third pic of alex & y/n omg i could die
landonorris happy for you guys
charles_leclerc yea right
landonorris wow i wont try & be nice again then
yourusername đđ
user81 LOLLL
scuderiaferrari â€ïž
liked by charles_leclerc
alexandrasaintmleux i love you guys way too much for it to be healthy at this point
charles_leclerc join the club
yourusername awwww alex đ„°đ„°đ„°
user82 they are way too cute omg
user83 SCREAMMM
yourusername loves of my life in this one and in the next
alexandrasaintmleux okayyy shakespeare!!
charles_leclerc aww our romantic girl â€ïž we love you so much
alexandrasaintmleux
liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername, and others
alexandrasaintmleux âïž home n happy
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user84 omg the rare throuple pic we are blessed
arthur_leclerc glad to see everyone's fav relationship back on my instagram feed
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, yourusername
alexandrasaintmleux đ„°đ„°đ„°
user85 omg this is too cute
user86 the caption ahhhhhhhh
user87 we are fr fr FR back
user88 y/n in the sleep mask LOL she's sooo real
user89 alex you are gorgeous đđ
scuderiaferrari â€ïž
liked by alexandrasaintmleux
user90 omg the lil charlesalexyn fangirls
charles_leclerc gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous
alexandrasaintmleux nooo stop now im blushinggg
charles_leclerc beautiful beautiful beautiful
alexandrasaintmleux đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«đ«
user91 me when
user92 MAKE IT STOPPP
yourusername wow i love you so much
alexandrasaintmleux đ€ i love YOU
yourusername
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yourusername oh hi đŒ
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yourbff thts my girlllllll
yourusername ilyilyily
yourbff ilysm
user93 omg alex sleeping so cute
user94 the flowers!!!???!?!!!
user95 so much to unpack here LOL
user96 peep lando in the likes btw
user97 what's new
scuderiaferrari â€ïž
yourusername oh how i love you scuderia ferrari admin
user98 HAHA so cute
landonorris đ§Ą
yourusername đ«đ«đ«
charles_leclerc move along norrizz
alexandrasaintmleux he thinks he has a chance or something? đ
landonorris ok ok i get it
alexandrasaintmleux i love you
charles_leclerc i love you
THE END â€ïžâ€ïž
#f1 smau#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#charles leclerc#cl16#f1 polyamory#f1 poly#f1 2024#f1 blurb#f1 x you#charles leclerc fanfic#driver x reader x wag#alexandra saint mleux#cl16 smau#cl16 x y/n#cl16 one shot#cl16 x you#cl16 fluff#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 fic#maddie's smau
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Possessive
pairing: Wednesday Addams x Fem Reader!
summary: If being unattractive and boring were a choice, Wednesday would've taken those choices for the both of you when you started dating. But, can she really blame your admirers?
A/N: hi hello yes, I got motivation, then it's back to writers block.. this is rly short!! & this is kinda shitty btw but whtevr
Warnings!: literally none.. I think.. I hope.. Just inappropriate language! (?)
Masterlist
Territorialâthat was what Wednesday is. Possessive of what's hers, you. But the world doesn't know about that little detail, now do they? As much as Wednesday would hate to admit it, she despises seeing someone talk to you with flirtatious glances and the intention to take you out on a date afterwards. You were hers and she was yours.
If she wasn't ready to tell the world that you were hers, then so be it, you waited just like you said you would. You were always careful whether it'd been in public or private every time the matter of being in a relationship was being questioned.
"Are you dating someone?"
"Are you single?"
And your answer would always end up being;
"Uhâ I have my eyes on someone right now-"
Which goes straight out of their heads!
"Oh? So you're single.. Okay so, I was hoping..."
And so on. Wednesday didn't like that, not when they're continuously asking you. That's what had been happening ever since she said yes to you.
Due to this, you were still that single popular outcast everyone wanted.
â
"Wednesday come onâ she was just confessing, it's not like I agreed to the terms of it, I just heard her out-" I pleaded while I chased after Wednesday, short legged people are literally faster than light.
Another day another confession. It's not like it was on purpose! Besides, I have a girlfriend!
"You barely acknowledged me when I passed by, why tail me now."
"You're not serious are you? I didn't want to be rude and just leave her while she confessed!"
"For this reason, you're saying you care more about her than you do, me." Wednesday's monotone voice laid no remorse, whatsoever.
"What! I didn't say that?!"
She halts in her tracks and stared me down.
"You implied it."
She opens the door to her room right after the intense eye contact she made with me. I had no time to react, she completely locked me out!
"Wednesday, please? Open the door."
I began knocking rapidly, leaning my face to the door, my temple making contact with the wooden door.
"Continue knocking and I'll knock all your teeth in, Y/L/N."
I swore my heart stopped beating for a second, I moved away from the door whilst hearing faint clicks of Wednesday's typewriter. I click my tongue in annoyance.
"Okay."
...
Nevertheless, the pain lingered with you, which proves just how much Wednesday means to you, you wanted to know what was going on with her life, all the time. Every time.
But, it seems the world only gave you a few hours of the day for you to spend with your girlfriend.
You roamed around the quad, feeling a little sleepy. So, you took the initiative to just lay down on the nearest tree and set a timer on your phone.
Your eyes were growing droopy and tired, a few minutes in the sun wouldn't hurt, right? Besides, what's bound to happen in 10 minutes?
.
Wednesday couldn't get you out of her head, it was like you were taunting her. She hoped you weren't too upset about her childish behaviour just a few moments ago. She was confident you'd be just behind the door waiting for her to open it, although.. The only thing was, you weren't there.
She hoped you weren't too agitated with her, now she's the one looking for you. Gosh, she just wants to hold you hostage with her in her duvet.
Searching for you wasn't hard, there you were, sound asleep by a tree, with the same girl heading your wayâ
That girl again? Can't she take a damn hint?
If Wednesday wasn't fuming earlier, well she was now. She wasted no time then began marching right towards to both of you.
"Hello."
You were a light sleeper, sometimes you were. Your subconscious lets you sleep soundly, occasionally.
"Uhm? Hi.."
"What's your business with Y/N?"
"Oh, I was just looking after her. She's out here in the sun, all aloneâ"
"But she's not, she's with me."
The girl snickered at her, as if mocking her.
"Finders keepers, loser." She sneered, in a way that shows that she was ridiculing Wednesday.
"Leave."
"Or what, Ghoul?"
"Or, I'd let my demonic girlfriend rip you to shreds."
That certainly had the girl look accurately close to Wednesday's skin color, her hooded eyes widening and her mouth flying wide open, with her creased eyebrows, was it out of realization or was it because she was horrified?
"You heard what my ghoul said, leave."
How unfortunate, she felt ashamed and left without a word. Wednesday likes being mysterious and secretive, but not about her relationship with you, not anymore anyways.
A/N: :)
#wednesday addams x reader#jenna ortega#jenna marie ortega#jenna ortega x fem!reader#jenna ortega x reader#tara carpenter x reader#wednesday addams#jenna ortega x you#wednesday addams x female reader#wednesday addams imagine#wednesday addams x you#wednesday x reader#wednesday netflix#jenna ortega x fem reader#tara carpenter x fem!reader
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