#like fuck off queen. this is literally both of our jobs.

[eroguron0nsense]

The Mysterious Mysteries of Mr Sir Crocodile (Character Analysis)

(Apologies in advance for discrepancies from my usual tone and for holding off on everyone who voted for this on my last poll. Honest to God I hope y'all enjoy this in some capacity because I've been procrastinating on this meta so long it's derailed ALL my other One Piece writing and I only accomplished it through addy-fuelled mania)

This was such a fucking pain to write. I really wanted to say something about Crocodile and what makes him so fascinating that wasn't like, another fan theory or just a set of headcanons, but that's easier said than done?? We could boil it down to immaculate design, screen presence, attitude, or just the fact that he got brought back as an unlikely ally who shocked everyone by saving the protagonist, but I don't know that those factors in and of themselves make for a villain who's become such an object of fandom obsession.

Whatever it is, it's certainly not backstory or depth, because 24 years and hundreds and hundreds of chapters after his introduction, we still know nothing about Sir Crocowani's past beyond a vague confrontation with the Late Great Edward Newgate (that apparently like, ruined his dreams or something?), and some totally-not-just-a-threat-to-out-him-if-he-betrayed-the-alliance blackmail material the Queen of the Queers is holding over his sandy reptilian ass. I was born and grew into adulthood in the time it took Oda to tell the world fuck all about where he's from or his inner thoughts, or his actual honest motivations and traumas.

All we have about this character are questions. Why did he save Luffy and Ace –very conspicuously after both of their lineages were revealed to the world– against all logic and reason? Does he have ties to the revolutionaries? Is he the long-lost son of Rocks D. Xebec? Did he bounce on Comrade Dragon's Monkey D and squirt out the fucking Warrior of Liberation? I assume Oda's going to tell us more about him, but at this point, he's managed to keep a tighter lid on Sir Crocs, Inc.'s past than the fucking Secret History

You may be wondering, dear reader: what the fuck is my point? What is there, at this final stage of Long Running Pirate Manga, for me–Frankie EroGuroNonsense, OP Tumblr Community Z-lister with like, 7 mildly popular meta posts under my belt–to write about the legendary Sir Krokorok that hasn't already been said or theorized? What eagle-eyed observations did I make while rereading Alabasta and writing toxic Crobin fanfic? Am I going anywhere with this? Sorta. Yeah.

Let's start with listing things we actually know about Crockpot, in roughly chronological (??) order: –attended Gol D.'s execution way back when he was my age, along with anyone else who's anyone from his generation.

–At some point, met and was known well enough by Iva that she could effectively blackmail him

–Made it far enough on the Grand Line, somehow getting to the New World, and managed to pick up an 81,000,000 bounty (low end for a warlord, presumably scouted fairly early in his career)

–Wanted to be Pirate King until he gave up on it, not 100% explicitly confirmed but most likely due to getting his ass beat so badly by Whitebeard that he settled for picking off small fry and racketeering behind a government desk job. This makes him profoundly relatable to the rest of us depressed fucking losers who acquiesce to our own mediocrity.

–At 30, after presumably licking his wounds for a hot minute, sets up shop in Alabasta, comes up with a clever evil plan to quietly build up enough arms to conquer the world with a WMD, and then gets his years-long bioterrorist coup attempt foiled by a 17-year-old.

The rest we know: after a brief moment of glory as the unsung MVP of Impel Down/Marineford, he immediately reverts to Failguy Mode, gives all his money to a literal clown, and consequently gets roped into the neverending uncontrollable PR nightmare that is Cross Guild. It's still super vague and we know little to nothing about his past before the Alabasta Saga (for all we know he had a fling with King Cobra)

...Onto his personality and mannerisms. This shit's a lot more revealing. Superficially, he's everything: immaculate Bond villain levels of charismatic villainy, unbelievably ostentatious, dripped out like a Pimp, constantly smoking cigars, absolutely dripping with smugness and grease and disdain. Owns exotic pets and a giant casino, and spends every waking moment either grinning like a maniac when he's got the upper hand or storming around in a fucking mood when anything goes mildly wrong.

He's also pretty hardened underneath all that, obviously couldn't have lived a day on the grand line or survived Impel Down Torture otherwise. But even in Alabasta, Crockery gives off an air of being distinctly more grounded and willing to get his hands dirty than other flashy, established villains who flaunt their wealth and status. A big part of it is just his really hyper-masculine indomitable tough guy persona, but even early on he's very much micromanaging his operation, fighting people hand to hand in (as opposed to, say, Doffy, who literally puppeteers people while lounging around) and makes a point to keep almost all of his followers at a distance and rely on them as little as possible. He rants a bit about how dreams and whatnot are pointless follies, as One Piece antagonists tend to do, and repeatedly taunts Vivi about how her idealism can't save her, but with the context that he wanted to find Laughtale himself, it feels a lot like projection.

The character trait that's harped on a LOT in canon, and probably the most pertinent one to whatever demons he has, is Croconaw's profound pathological distrust for everyone around him. It's a huge part of what makes him a good early foil to the Nefertari family and the Straw Hats, whose collective strength is derived from organic human connection; Crocalor, by contrast, makes sure that up until the very last moment, he keeps most of his people so distant from him that they genuinely have no idea he's even their boss. His relationship with Robin is interesting, but he turns on her immediately when he realizes she either can't or won't give him the location of Pluton and has his dramatic stabbing/"I forgive you" lines about how he never trusted her or anyone from the start. He says the same shit to Mihawk when he suggests they join forces, even citing their mutual distrust as a kind of paradoxical justification for why they'd actually work well together.

Arguably the only exception is Daz Bones, but even that relationship is still a pretty reserved one; one of the few traits Daz exhibits is a similar avoidance of human connections to his boss and even though they've ironically formed a bond despite it, I can't imagine that they're emotionally close. I find these more explicit declarations of paranoia a lot less indicative of what's actually going on in Croconut's head than subtext, but I feel inclined to mention them just because it more or less tells us that his background/trauma has something to do either with betrayal or alternatively just being jaded and deprived to the point of self-isolation.

Krookodile's character gets a little bit more interesting when we get to see him again in Impel Down being a smug little manipulative rascal right up until he gets blackmailed by his endocrinologist, which is definitely medical malpractice but also funny as hell. I also appreciate that literally the first thing he does after getting out of his cell is change into a big coat and cravat to keep up appearances, but it's not until Marineford proper that things get really complicated. Saving Luffy and Ace is the first selfless thing we see Crobat do–while yelling at Luffy that he needs to protect what matters to him properly, no less– and he just keeps fighting for them after that, teaming up with his most hated rival crew to cover Luffy's retreat and telling the entire WG to go fuck itself multiple times over. He fights everyone on sight with no regard for his own safety, talks mad shit to Doffy, and demonstrates a genuinely compelling amount of honest to god chivalry.

For a short time, we see Crocomotive less as a really entertaining cartoon villain and more as a person with hidden, profound emotions and a confusing moral code that's seemingly incompatible with the vicious little creature we met in Alabasta. We come to understand, in a few very brief lines that give us way more questions than answers, that Cromagnon has deep-seated, emotional convictions he actively suppresses, and that whatever baggage he has is probably tied to wanting to or failing to save something of his own. His resentment of Newgate, who he really really wants to have a go at (despite theoretically no longer caring about the ambitions of his youth) is indicative of a desire to revisit the fight that probably ruined his dream and ego, but it's also tinged with a deep-seated grudging respect for a living legend.

Crock–Afire Explosion's obvious seething hatred of Doffy also gives us a few more insights into what's wrong with him. On a surface level, it makes sense that he dislikes a profoundly obnoxious, even flashier fellow warlord who achieved more or less the same goal he set out to in a shorter time, fucks with his business, and then mocks him/tries to recruit him right after his very public defeat and imprisonment. He postures a lot, especially with his lines insisting he's on a higher level and that Doffy could only ever join him as a subordinate, but he's visibly steamed in their initial encounter and clearly hasn't liked him for quite some time. I bring this up because if we stretch our interpretation a little (for the sake of my argument), Croc Holliday's distaste for someone who's (outwardly) so much like himself and embodies all of his villainous characteristics from back in Alabasta might also suggest that deep down, he doesn't actually like the things they have in common; he sees right through Doffy because he's done the same shit and he hates what he sees.

Having gone over all that, I've come up with some key characteristics of Crocomelon that I'll use going forward:

–Extremely performative: puts an ungodly amount of energy into maintaining a carefully curated persona, and projecting a certain amount of power, masculinity, and prestige. Not necessarily an unnatural or inauthentic one, but a constructed and purposeful one nonetheless

–Deep-seated paranoia, hidden secrets; probably intertwined. Keeps personal details on tight, tight lockdown, probably afraid of being known.

–Constant projection of his own insecurities and failures onto other people, making a point to be uniquely cruel in Alabasta to an idealist who loves her people and a dreamer who wants to be the Pirate King.

Ironically, he demonstrably respects and defends two people–Luffy and Whitebeard–who theoretically embody everything he hates or scorns (ambition, goodness, love, connection, romanticism, greatness in the traditional sense) and he intensely dislikes the villain most like himself, or at least the one who shares a lot of his worst characteristics (ostentatious manipulative scheming rat bastard backed by people stronger than himself) –The Grinch's heart grew three sizes at Marineford because of like, the compelling power of brotherly love and reminders of his youth or something

SPECULATION, CONCLUSIONS??

The difficulty with writing anything definitive about Crocko's Basilisk is that he's such a mystery, which functionally lets the fanbase project literally whatever weird personality traits, potential backstories, or anything else they could possibly come up with onto him. So I want to be clear that I have absolutely no interest in theorizing about the specifics of his past or secret identity or potential baby daddy or anything along those lines; I'm only interested in what we can infer about his personality by extrapolating from canon. And the conclusion I keep coming back to, the one that I'm convinced is true on some level, is that Crocodile is living a lie and he fucking hates himself. Everything he does, from how he acts to what he claims to believe, is a desperate effort to cope with his own insecurity and failure and cover up a past version of himself he's deeply ashamed of.

Now, unfortunately, Oda did not conceive of Crocodile as a trans man but stories belong to the people and we can do what we want let's forget about that and play it straight because he's constantly performing gender as a means of compensating for a deep-seated shame and self-loathing from whatever traumas and secrets he keeps hidden. Even assuming he's a cis man, he deliberately chooses a hypermasculine persona with a Capital V Villain moniker and pimp outfit and speech pattern he's carefully curated to project masculine power–physical, political, and financial–and we know it's performance because we see him break kayfabe and get legitimately fucking angry whenever he's confronted by a person like Luffy, who's crazy and brave enough to try and do what he couldn't and risk everything for love and hope that he cannot bring himself to feel for another person, or reminders of the past he tries so desperately to bury.

The lessons he's wrongfully obtained from his past are as follows: Idealism is a weakness. Dreaming is a weakness. Connections to other people and being known are crippling liabilities (If he is, in fact, trans and closeted, that's all the more reason to be existentially disgusted by what he used to be). All the hope he brought to the Grand Line, all the excitement of trying to carry on where Roger left off, needs to be purged and buried because all he got to show for it was loss and humiliation. But he can't stop wanting more, and ironically, after he gives up on conquering the Grand Line, he ends up chasing the same fucking poneglyphs and weapons because his ambition's still there; it's just compromised and much more jaded.

Everything he does that's seemingly contradictory makes sense when you realize that Crocodile resents his failure and wants to avenge himself. He makes a big show of talking down to Luffy and Vivi's petty ideals and shit-talking Newgate and his family, but he still wants to fight Whitebeard like he did way back when and help Luffy protect what matters to him. He hates Doffy, who's honestly just a more successful schemer than he is because it's a constant reminder of what he settled for when he took that warlord post and fucking gave up. He claims to trust no one, but he keeps Daz by his side and rewards his loyalty because he can't help but trust someone who respects him so deeply and follows him to the ends of the fucking earth long after losing the material incentive to do so. He claims to look down on people who aim for the stars and fight for love and joy and freedom and yet, in his most vulnerable moments–not in the face of violence or imprisonment, but when he's emotionally compelled to defend a child and help save his brother–we see how badly he wants that for himself.

TLDR: Crockman Holic is deeply insecure in his masculinity, desperately needs psychological help, and his character/potential redemption arc in One Piece is just dealing with his midlife crisis.

[afvall]

whumptober day 2! Trust issues

truthful Timmy the blowjob queen of Saskatoon (Wade) and Nathan have a marital spat. Who knew whumptober could be so Fluffy? Don't worry, it'll get worse.

--

God Believes in Me

--

Wade regarded his mind as a very sacred place, despite the fact half of its inane machinations would make their way out of his mouth anyways. Yet despite that, his mind was still his own, one of the few places he could exist not in a state of constant, neurotic apprehension of being perceived. He knew he appeared so unfiltered and obscene in comparison to everybody around him, he knew that his marred flesh and even more vulgar personality both weren’t things he went at length to hide, but when it came to his teammates, his friends, his f word, he could get a bit deranged about his shortcomings, and how he showed them. That's where being able to wallow in his own thoughts came in clutch. He wanted to be able to go into his own hysterics all by his lonesome about fucking up a mission, compulsively wipe down his katanas and clean his guns far longer than necessary as his cancer-ridden obsessive little mind ran itself into disorientating circles. It was one of his few comforts in this world, drugs and self pity, Vanessa used to be on the list, but Wade had let her die, so she wasn’t there anymore.

There was one problem to his perfect routines however, one interruption in the face of his fetish for his own shame, that nosey, telepathic bitch, Nathan Summers, Nathan ‘you remind me of my wife’ (while applying chapstick!) Summers. Unlike the author of this fic, Deadpool has read the comics, he knew that comic Nate was telepathic, but not this one. He’d thought that in his second movie’s two hour run, Cable’s telepathy might be brought up once, but as it wasn’t, he simply assumed that this Cable wasn’t telepathic. And wow, what a shit draw huh, 5 '8 and telepathy-less? It would be depressing if it wasn’t a little funny, as most things were in and around Wade’s life. However, of course that couldn’t be the case, because poor Wade couldn’t be afforded even a second of mercy in this hellish world, couldn’t be afforded the sanctity of his own mind, and now having escaped the constrictions that telling a 3 act story over 2 hours put upon Nate’s powers, he didn’t seem to mind using them as much as he did before.

“I'm still pissed off about how you decided to be a little shit rather than listen to the orders i gave you during our job yesterday, i don’t wanna hear the memory of it and all your shame prattling around in your mind all day, it’ll just make me angry again.” Nathan sipped boredly on a cappuccino sitting in a takeaway cup he’d brought back from a café, alongside a mocha for Wade which had already been scoffed down while burning hot and its cardboard carcass chucked into the bin. Wade didn’t get how he could slip in little kind gestures between all that dickishness and not expect Wade to have an aneurysm about it.

“If you can read my mind, how come you’re still such an asshole to me? Surely empathy is a bit easier when you can literally see inside someone’s head” Wade desperately wanted to be left alone right now, to cry about his own shortcomings to the barrels of all his handguns, instead of having every thought of his heard by Nate. The coffee was nice but he’d had enough people-time today.

“Well technically i can only read your surface thoughts and emotions, or shit that you push to the front, the cancerous wad in your cranium is harder to read than most people’s” Wade wasn’t sure what constituted as ‘surface’ or ‘pushed to the front’ as he wished he could get back to being neurotic and sad all by his lonesome. Could nate tell that he really was properly freaked out about fucking up so many missions? Would he care?

“Get out of my head if you don’t wanna see what’s in there, Nate.” Wade stated, pretty matter-of-factly. His head was his space, not Nates, and Nate didn’t even like being there.

“Its not like im trying to get in there, theres just this constant nervous aura coming off of you whenever you fuck up after a mission. Its really fucking difficult to ignore.” Nate stared smugly, telepathic bitch.

“I reckon you’re fucking lying about not being able to not read my mind.” Wade nips back, “and I think you think you can see more of what’s in my mind than what’s actually in there. Im not trying to make your day shittier Nathan, im not trying to get out of paying the penance for my fuck ups with all my guilt.” Wade thought about this pinterest poetry post he saw once while channelling his inner fourteen year old girl–’The dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn't. My guilt will not purify me.’–but decided that it was a bit too pretentious to verbally reference in a cablepool angst fic, even in whumptober. X-men angst always seemed a bit more gritty than melancholy, a bit more blood than tears.

Nathan looked at him with an expression that was undeniably just a tad bit softer. Whether it was from Wade’s inane fourth-wall related thoughts mulling over this situation or the point he’d just made, Wade was unsure.

“I'm not lying about being unable to not read your mind Wade, your thoughts are pretty difficult to block out.” Nate didn’t comment upon the second half of Wade’s little outburst. Wade wondered if Nate trusted what he said, but Wade believed Nate when he said Wade’s thoughts were difficult to block out. Honestly he’d simply used that weaker opinion as a way to segway to the truth of his paranoia. But would Nate trust Wade’s truth? Wade tried to push all his genuine nature and remorse to the forefront of his mind, but didn’t know if it worked that way.

Nate suddenly looked a bit awkward as he went quiet, looking at Wade with furrowed brows and a face more scrunched up than not.

“I'm sorry, it's been a pretty long week.” Wade was fine with receiving a half-excuse-half-apology hybrid, he just wanted to know Nate believed him. Wade paused for a moment, letting the cogs in his brain churn sluggishly as he continued peering at Nate.

“Im sorry im such a little shit sometimes, and fuck stuff up for the team.” for my f word. Nate smiled, chuckling softly, just a tad, in the way that made Wade’s heart jump in his chest.

“We’ll work on it?” Wade knew Nate was referring to both of them, working on their trust of one another, and the way they treated each other, on the battlefield and at home.

“We’ll work on it.”

[thebeldroramscal]

Part 3 - Dinner for 2

Part 2 - ...with bells on

Rating: Explicit/NSFW 18+ (no minors, I know I’m not the boss of you but c’mon, do me the favour of not putting us both on a list). 

Summary: All that you know about tonight is that you’re having dinner.  Getting to know each other a little bit better is probably a good idea but PLEASE universe, please, you beg, don’t let him be a one trick pony. And can we get some cock up in here? Can I get an AMEN??

Warnings/Goings on:  PLEASE READ THESE CAREFULLY! Arguably a smidgeon of food play, human furniture (predicament), run of the mill domination/service submission. Talks of Heavy impact play (M on F), breast admiration (free the fucking nip.  Our tits RULE!), knife play.

Consent carried over from Part 1 however tweaks made during the course of this scene.  No mention of age gap, no mention of reader’s body other than she has female genitals and tits.  And Joel can lift her up, whatever that means, the guy could probably lift a baby elephant. There are photos of female bodies spattered throughout, this is just to set the scene, no intent to imply figure or form. All bods are hot.

Authors note: This chapter introduces some more “traditional” BDSM practices.  I’d really REALLY like to start highlighting the importance of aftercare – FOR ALL PARTIES CONCERNED.  Yes, SubDrop is a powerful thing however I think that DomDrop gets very overlooked.  Lets look after our Doms’ wellbeing too!

I’m very open to suggestions but I’m a delicate flower so I’m not so open to criticism.  This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea so if you don't like it, please scroll on, quietly.

WORD COUNT: 3.2K

You’d managed to rustle up a few more things to furnish your burgeoning little dungeon. It's coming together...as nicely as a shitty unfinished subfloor basement can.  You're sitting on a milk crate in front of a huge mirror looking at your reflection.

Your mind wanders back to one of the men you were seeing way back when.  You had a daily ritual where you would wait by the door when you heard his car pull up the drive way.  Every day you’d be on your knees waiting for him to walk through the door.  He’d enter the house, throw his keys in to the bowl on the credenza without saying a word to you.  He would remove his jacket, unzip his pants and wait for you to suck his cock.  He came easily from head.  Your technique attributed to this but so did the circumstance in which he was being blown.  Every day, after you'd swallowed his daily load, literally and figuratively, you got off your knees and he’d pull you close by whatever you were wearing He'd say something, something different every day that made you feel like a queen.  It was a small part of your day but an enormous part of your life.  Not a lot of people understood that. It’s not “abuse” if you want to do it.  You haven’t been “groomed or gaslit” in to thinking you had to do it.  You wanted to do it.  It made you feel powerful, it made you feel in control, like a sexual goddess, like an important part in his day, the one guaranteed good thing to come home to.  He knew you were waiting there for him because he asked you to be there waiting for him.  He asked you to be there waiting for him because he knew you wanted to be asked. Jesus christ, a credenza? You laugh through your nose.  You’d be lucky to get 2 matching chairs these days.  A fucking credenza.

“enjoyin’ the view?” Joel's voice carves a hole through the room, and your thoughts, like a bullet.  

You whip your head around in his direction and catch a satisfied smirk.

How embarrassing.

You don't answer him.  The fact is, you were enjoying the view.  Sex, good sex, that sex, brings back your...it brings back your "you".  The little skip in your step, knowing that under your pencil skirt in your big city job that your arse was hard, bloody, covered in bandages and yet you still work your white collar job doing white collared things and catching yourself every time you plonk your arse down on your white collar chair to do your white collar computer shit.  You used to think people would notice but they didn't. They were all self important. And frankly, looking back, so were you.

“Thanks for dressin’ up for the occasion” he says, dripping in sarcasm. 

“Fuck.  I got distracted”

“By your own face..” he mocks walking towards you, putting his bags down on the ground, “It’s ok” he assures you, grabbing you softly by the chin to raise your face to meet his. He strokes your chin and looks at your face for longer than usual. His expression doesn't change. He spins you around so that you’re both facing the mirror, him standing behind you, hands on your shoulders “I get it, I would have to.”  Ah, you didn’t know what to say to that.  A compliment, that’s…? He snakes  his left hand around your waist, holding you tight with the kind of grip that makes you feel like you could relax every muscle in your body and you would still be upright.  Impressive, very hot, also potentially very dangerous.

He gently pulls the hair tie holding your ponytail in place free from your head, stroking your hair, “you smell so fuckin’ good” you hear him say under his breath as he bunches your hair up and pushes it to his face.  You’d laugh if it wasn’t such an intimate moment.  But this feels very un-Joel.  This was a huge show of vulnerability and when you see it for the moment It is, it’s fucking beautiful.  You want to let him experience this long as he needs, it’s obvious this goes way deeper than the scent of your 2 in 1 shampoo. There’s a tranquility in his demeanor and if that’s something you can provide him you’re going to do it.  You’re watching one layer of the onion fall and it is the most intimate, unmasked Joel you’ve met.

“We didn’t cover knives.”

“What do you mean?" You say, barely audible, as if to not wake Joel.

"at the bar? in the toilet? are you happy to bring a knife to the party?"

"I’m not very experienced with them. Start off slow?” you're barely whispering now. 

“Can I touch you with a blade?” his lips graze your ear while he whispers. His mouth moves lower to the crook of your neck. You feel his teeth on your skin, his bite slowly increasing in intensity. He's dipping his toe in the water. Feeling out your pain limits, honing in on your pleasure spots. You know he's enjoying it because his rock hard cock is firmly planted against your arse. He's cataloguing everything your body is telling him.

“What kind of blade? 

“My blade, the Buck”

He takes a deep breath and drops your hair and spins you around so you’re facing each other again.

“The one that’s with me. Always.”

He opens the knife strapped to his belt. “This is my baby.  She has been there for me since the beginning”

It’s sharp knife, it sounds like it could tell 1000 stories. Its presence in a situation that doesn’t call for a knife is intriguing.

Joel places a finger under your chin and lifts your head so you’re making eye contact.  He raises an eyebrow as if to ask again.

“Yes, Yep, You can touch me with that knife.  Don’t cut me…not yet”

“…not yet” interesting, he thinks to himself. He's growing increasingly intrigued by your past. By you. This is a whisper of a feeling that he barely remembers.

He looks at you. Thinking.

“How attached to those clothes are you?”

You laugh at the dramatic change in topic.  “ahhhh” you say as you pull at the shitty pair of shorts and white tank you usually wear when you clean “I’d say about a 2/10…I was going to get changed bu..”

“Ok.  They’re goin’” he says while he gently, playfully (and irresponsibly) taps you on the tip of your nose with his blade.

You feel yourself being spun around once more so that you’re both facing the mirror again.  “I fuckin’ love this mirror.  I fuckin' LOVE this mirror”.  He is looking at you like a starving man with a perfectly cooked, rare rib eye drowning in a red wine and rosemary jus , garlic mash and roasted almond asparagus in front of him.  Not that you remember what that even tastes like any more.

You feel the blunt side of the knife graze its way up your arm and then the tip gently kiss your decolletage until it stops between your breasts.  He leaves the knife resting there to make sure you’re okay with it so far. You are. You really are. His breath gently skims the nape of your neck and you're both looking at each other's reflection in the mirror intensely.  He continues. It makes a trail down your front.  “still as a statue…” he whispers in to your ear.  Cupping one side of your head in one hand using the other to hold the knife he makes a trail over your shitty tank from your belly button to the neckline, you feel safe but are acutely aware that a huge fright or even a sneeze could kill you right now.  The knife flicks around and skewers the neckline of your tank.  It slices through the material with no effort.  Fuck, it’s sharp.  He uses his thigh to close the knife in one second, dumps it in his pocket and reaches both hands around to your front.  He grabs each side of your flayed tank and rips it open in one motion.

Your body rocks at the force and you instinctively reach for it to cover your naked torso but Joel catches your wrists.

“No. Hands by your sides.”

“Ok” you manage to whisper, your chest is heaving. Your pulse beats louder in your and head harder in your cunt.

“You can’t cover this” he whispers.  Not necessarily to you but maybe to the situation.  “No, it’s too beautiful”  You feel his hands glide up your torso as they search for your breasts.  His breathing becomes deeper and more controlled, a mixture of silence and a low resonant rumble like distant thunder.  He grabs a breast in each hand and kneads into the flesh alternating between an agonizingly soft touch and a touch so hard you contemplate using your safe word.  You can see in the mirror that his eyes are closed. Is he doing this for you or for himself?  “You have no idea how long it has been since I’ve seen a nice pair of tits”. Was that was supposed to be said out loud or a quiet thought?  Whatever it was it meant to be, it whips you in the core of your brain's pleasure center, depleting the reserve of every sex hormone you have at once. A tiny moan escapes as your lips part and you relinquish any control you had left and fall back in to his body. 

He gently massages your breasts, losing himself in their softness. His heavy breath peppered with an a occasional “my god” just barely slipping through his lips.  Those lips.  He rolls his thumb over your nipple and his touch becomes more gentle.  He is lightly swaying and your entire weight is melded with his.  You're swaying in unison.  He starts to slowly and gently squeeze your nipple, his face nestled in the nape of your neck, biting and grazing his teeth against your flesh.  It's as if every sensation either of you are feeling is being felt by both of you.

His breath quickens and his touch becomes harder, he is kneading roughly, running his hands up and down your torso, rolling over your breasts as if they're not even there. It hurts, but it hurts in the right way. Your breathing becomes more forceful and that does not go unnoticed. He finds your nipples with his finger tips and pinches them hard without letting go. You cry out and throw one arm behind you, finding his arse so you can pull him closer, you head throws itself back hard against him. You're unable to arch your back, which you so desperately want to do. You're holding each other far too tight. He pulls your nipples until your skin runs out of stretch and your tits fall back in to place. Again, you cry out but it's the right kind of cry. Your cunt is on fire.

"Fuck I can’t wait to get that nipple in my mouth...between my teeth". He is pinching them again, and is showing no mercy.

You breathe in through your teeth, the sensation riding right on the line of pleasure and pain is very close to unbalancing. Becoming too much.  He quickly lets go of your breast but keeps his firm grip around your waist in place. You press your legs together in an attempt to quash the pulsation that is on the verge of being painful.

"Not tonight though".

He has his knife back in his hand. The tip traces a line down the middle of your naked torso until it finds itself resting in the the waistband of your shitty shorts. 

"Not tonight"

"Tonight we eat."

He pushes the blade forward, spinning it so that the sharp end is pushing against the waistband of your shorts. It cuts through the entire front of your shorts from gusset to waistband in one movement.  He repeats this motion at the back of your shorts and he reaches down, grabs the crotch of your shorts and rips them violently from your body.

You stand there. Naked. Once he is satisfied with what he has standing in front of him he goes to grab his bag.

"You can eat your food out of a bowl like a dog, and I do have a collar, or you can let me feed you"

You were wondering where dinner was going to fit in to this.

"should I grab some clo-"

"no"

"o...ok. Feed me? No dog bowl. Please."

He kicks a milk crate over to where you're standing. It'll be a satisfactory seat. For him.

"okay"

You're unsure of what is happening but Joel is laying a plush blanket on the floor in front of his seat. You stay in your place and watch him set up whatever it is he is setting up.

"come here" Joel asks. "I'm going to need a table"

You see he has a couple of containers of rice and something and...a bottle of wine! Exciting. He even brought some wine glasses. And a straw. Huh. Okay.

You look around the room for something suitable but there's nothing in there. You look at him and he says "No. You come here. Hands and knees. You are my table" He motions with his head exactly where he wants you to be.

You feel that feeling in your stomach and a small, devious, knowing smile creeps its way on to your face. You start to bite the inside of your mouth. Joel notices everything.

You walk of over to you position and drop to your hands and knees without a thought. You feel two bowls and a glass placed on your back. He sets a wine glass in front of you and pours it for you. He plonks the straw in it unceremoniously and tells you that you may drink whenever you like and how much you like. You hear him fill his wine glass and become instantly aware that your back is not flat. The glass doesn't feel very secure.

"um, i think that glass might be better on the other side? It doesn't feel stable"

"Drinks on the right. I know my manners. If it's unsteady, that's on you. Shut up. I'm hungry."

He picks up his utensil and presumably takes a mouthful. At the same time you see a spoon lowered to your face, he feeds you a mouthful.

"oh my god, that's GOOD" you say, twisting your neck to look at him without even thinking.

You feel the glass topple over and wine spill over your legs and arse immediately. "FUCK" you think to yourself, "this is it, this is "IT." Excitement flashes through your body like a boiling hot laser scanner.

He gets up from his seat without saying a word. He's behind you, picking up his wine glass and you're bracing yourself for a hard spank. Instead you feel the heat of his mouth sucking your thigh, your arse, it feels incredible and you're turned on more. More.

"I don't like waste" he says as he walks to where your face is. His footsteps are so loud when you're this close to the ground. His boots are not to be fucked with. He crouches down to your level and you look at his face. You can feel the bowls on your back moving as your skin twists and it's slowly sinking in.

"I'm going to have my dinner on this beautiful piece of furniture" he runs his hands back forth along your side as if you were...well, a beautiful piece of furniture. He dips down and gives your nipple a TIGHT pinch just because he can. "I said, I don't like waste. I've brought something I worked hard on during the outbreak. A cane. If spillage happens, you'll earn yourself one set of three strikes of my cane. Do you understand?"

"yes"

"repeat it"

"If something spills during dinner, I'll be caned three times each time"

"good" he nods and returns to his seat.

He refills his glass and returns it to it's place. You become hyperaware of exactly how precariously placed it is. Clever jerk.

Another spoonful appears next to your face, you open your mouth and go to take the food in your mouth but Joel jerks the spoon back. You laugh as you instinctively jut you head forward to catch the food. The wine glass tips over.

"FUCK"

"mmmhmm." he mumbles nonchalantly. He knew it was coming.

You hear him get up once again and he calmly walks over to his bag. You hear him rustle around in it and picks up his cane.  He puts the tip under your chin, slowly tilting your head upwards so you are looking him in the eyes. "Three strikes" he says as he taps the side of your cheek. You nod gently . Running the top of his cane along your naked body as he walks towards his seat, he wakes up your skin. He pauses behind you "Here. The strikes go here" he says as he taps the cane over the meaty part of your arse and thighs, "and they're not going to be little love taps, they will be strikes, and they will hurt". Your cunt aches with those words.

He rakes his sharp nails down your leg as he reaches down to pick up his glass. You arch your back, in enjoyment and in pain. Bang. A bowl drops to the floor.

"look at that." Joel says flatly. "a two-fer" I hope you're counting.

You take a breath. "Yes. Nine".

Dinner is reset and you hold your position perfectly still.

You see Joel's hand, with a heaped pile of food on it in front of you.

"seeings utensils are too difficult for you" he jabs, "here". His hand moves closer to your mouth and you open it, far too flooded with thoughts to do anything but follow what makes sense. Joel shoves the food in your mouth and uses your face to wipe his hands clean. Ooooph, if your old scene friends could see you now...

He is diligent in reading your tone, body language and disposition. This wasn't his first rodeo and he would never overstep what he thought responsible play for him would be and you. He is a man of born again ethical practice and he sticks to his mantra.

Dinner was proceeding well, you'd caught yourself 9 strikes, were drinking (pretty drinkable) wine through a straw and was having food shoved in to your mouth while you served as a table. Just another Tuesday night, right?

You'd settled yourself in to a meditative state, "subspace" if you will.

You feel Joel's hand lightly slide along the small of your back toward his glass but take a turn, down the skin on your arse, which he grabs roughly, and his fingers make their way between your legs. You feel a finger slide inside you with ease. "fuuuuuuck" you hear him whisper to himself. Yes. you were soaked and burning hot. This only served to make his erection hurt.

Dinner was over.

...Chapter 4 - Dessert, on it's way soon. Stay tuned my freaky friends.

[riddlemethisjeremy]

"But its fine to be LGBTQ+ in Australia in 2024 Australia is such an accepting country"

Get away from me.

Here is an itemised list of shit that i see around me/has happened to me. Just in my little sphere of observation I'm not talking about online or anything just circling around fucking me. Organised from shit that bothers me the least to shit that fucks me off to an unbelievable extent:

All the shallow "LGBTQ+ safe space !!!!!!!" Stickers i see at places like target (I am not talking about actual queer spaces like Dangerfield oh my god i will never ever get over the time that the person at Dangerfield asked if i would like to see their "masculine selection" like holy shit ???? Yes i would love to see the "masculine selection" thank you for not making me a man in this store- anyways) it just makes me a little mad that they just have to put a little sticker in the window and suddenly they're a "safe space" like come off it mate no one's buying your shit

Those people who say they're like supportive and then go and bag out a highly minoritsed section of the community (example taken from my current home) "I support trans people i believe trans people should be able to live and be whoever they truly are" "if my child ever told me that they wanted to use "they/them" pronouns i would assign them a gender myself" "I think all these little "microlabels" like pansexual and aromantic are fake theyre just kids looking for attention" "well apparently you can identify as a tree these days lol I'll just tell them i identify as a dog and cock my leg on them"

Other generally passive homophobic comments such as "oh you're pansexual? Does that mean you're attracted to pans?"

Walking into class and getting slurred or called an "it" or being spoken about like I'm a creature rather than a person: "Sir, can you take that thing outside" "Its not a part of this classroom" "Someone should really put a muzzle on that thing" "oh, sorry, "IT". Got my grammar mixed up."

Possibly the more upsetting part of that is the teacher, who is aware of me being trans and has been since he took our class, has not done a thing about this despite stating that he was going to do what he could to support me.

The casual biphobia/complete erasjre of my bi identity that happens like literally daily? Like hello i like both ?

The younger queer kids being targets of creeps and harassment because theyre just "attention seeking queers" and no one would believe them if they said anything

Being clocked by customers at work and having to deal with harassment surrounding my entire identity despite the fact that I'm not even out and having to pretend to have a laugh about it with my coworkers while im literally shaking and like on the verge of an anxiety attack

People fetishizing drag queens/critisizing them for not doing drag in a "traditionally correct" way. Like ?? She's not bopping he bussy for anyone but herself fuck off

My own friends not believing me/taking me seriously when i try to talk about the harassment/abuse that I face at school/at work because "its 2024 and these places are safe places and they literally said they weren't trying to be offensive"

Being outed in the workplace because i was trying to help my gf get a job (which i didnt realise was a whole thing at the time) and then being punished for not telling people about our relationship to begin with (neither of us are very out and I didn't want to put either of us in an uncomfortable position so I didn't mention it because its not their business?) my gf is no longer getting a job and i am significantly less likely to get the promotion they were talking about giving me

The sheer amount of homophobic/transphobic parents that i know of in the area (mine and my gfs included) and the fact that "allies" don't seem to understand why we won't tell these people about ourselves (especially those of us with notably abusive parents (myself and my gf included))

"Well she can't like you very much if she's not willing to tell her parents" "i just don't think she really cares about you if she's keeping you a secret" shes literally let me give her kisses at the bus stop guys she just wont tell her mom fuck off

The fact that if her parents find out they could report me to the police for grooming because even if the age gap is literally eleven months she's still a minor and the courts are more likely to convict me because im queer. This would literally end my life.

the fact that im being encouraged to leave the fucking love of my life because its "too dangerous" and if my life is ruined by her parents its her fault some how so i need to protect myself ???? What the fuck ????

And finally "You cant save everyone you know" like ???? I know that doesnt mean that the people I CARE ABOUT should have to suffer to keep ME safe. Thats fucked up.

[felice-jaganshi]

Alastor's Leash

Chapter 7

(We're in the end game now~~~)

They managed to drag Vox to the hotel, and Charlie was successful in getting Rosie to join. Everyone was surprised when they saw Vox, Angel even getting out a gun. 

“You outta your mind Z?! What's wrong with you? Vox is literally his worst enemy!”

 

“Did he actually call me that?” Vox grinned and blushed a little, like a teen girl asking after their crush.

Zariah rolled her eyes, “Dusty, calm down! He's helping, that's what matters.”

Charlie smiled, “She's right, this could be the start of Vox's path to redemption, and we need to be supportive and give him a chance!”

 

Vox visibly cringed and whispered to Zariah, “So this is the princess? And Alastor willingly follows her?” Zariah elbowed him in the side.

“Be polite.” She whispered back, before addressing the group. “Alright, now we have enough firepower to stand a chance. Let's get to planning…”

 

 _-_--_-_-_-_-_-_

The rest of the day was spent scheming and arguing, everyone getting more and more frustrated. By the end of the night, they were no closer to a real plan, so Vox and Rosie agreed to stay the night in the hotel.

 

Vox went to the bar, and Husker poured him a glass of whiskey, neat. “The way the boss likes it.”

Vox sipped it, “Yeah, I know. I was his drinking buddy before he ever fucking met you…” 

 

Zariah came over and sat beside Vox, Husker making her a screwdriver. “I've been rejected before too, you know.”

Vox looked over, confused, “Where the fuck is this coming from?”

 

“Oh shut up and lemme speak… I had a friend in highschool, my very best friend after moving states… she… was my first girl crush. And I told her one day. She said if I ever said ‘that gay shit’ to her again, she'd have her brother put a bullet in my head.” Zariah had tears in her eyes now. “It still hurts to think about, even if I don't like her anymore. It left a scar that will never heal. I know it won't.” 

He frowned, “Is this your way of saying I'll never get over the pain of his rejection? Because I already fucking know that.”

 

“No, I'm just saying I see you. We're like a mirror, in this at least.”

“A mirror… huh. Yeah, maybe. Except you're the ‘good side’.” He sulked.

“Then how about I pull you through? Then we can both be on the good side. I mean it.” She offered Vox her hand.

He turned away, “Let's just get our damn deer back. Then I'm going back to my tower where I belong.” He finished off his drink and left for his room.

~The next morning~

Alastor came back to reality as an icy chill gripped his soul like sharp claws. Shit, Lilith was back for round number… ah hell, he'd lost count already? He took a deep breath and faked a yawn, like he was just sleeping. He smiled pleasantly at her, “Ah, I see you've returned, my queen.”

“Hmph, quite the attitude shift. Have you decided to behave, my pet?” She looked him up and down.

“What bidding would you have me do, my queen?” He asked, acting sweet as he could. She leaned in close to his face, and whispered.

 

“Your new orders are to kill Lucifer and Charlie.” She smiled as she said it. Feeling nothing for the family that moved on without her.

“Hm, I see.” He looked contemplative for a moment, then spit in her face! “There's my rebuttal to your orders.” 

She growled and clawed across his eyes, blinding him. Alastor only grunted in pain, gritting his teeth in a tight smile.

 

“You worthless-” Suddenly, there was a loud boom drawing her attention away, the sound of distant explosions. “Ah, a rescue party? How nice it must be to be so loved.” Her tone was bitter, filled with jealousy. “I'll leave you for now, I want you to hear the screams as I kill your cute little friends.”

She then turned on bright white lights in the room, further blinding him if his eyes regenerated. “Stay put, my little fawn.”

--_-_-_-_-_-__--__-_-_- 

 

“Good job with the bombs Cherri! That's sure to get her attention, now get the hell outta here before she sees you.” Lucifer smiled at her. 

She laughed, “Yeah fuckin right! And let the rest of you get all the fun?! ‘Sides, heroic sacrifice got that snake boy topside… who's to say it won't work for me?” She looked away with a slight blush for a moment, before shaking her head and slapping her own cheeks to refocus herself. “Now let's dance with this crazy bitch!” She grinned.

Lucifer was surprised, but smiled back. “You sinners are as crazy as ever, but it's an honor to fight beside you.” The earbud he had in one ear buzzed on and Vox's voice could be heard in it.

 

“Alright, looks like Rosie is in position to back you up should you need it. Charlie and Vaggie are with her. The rest of the cannon fodder-”

“Oh fuck you!” Angel yelled into the mic attached to his suit.

“Ugh, team hotel , is that better? Are you fuckers in your positions?”

 

“Yeah, we're golden.”

“Great, then as soon as she comes out, Zariah and I are gonna sneak in while you all distract her. We'll have to go silent on the comms until I can assess her security systems. Once we've secured the objective, Z will heal him and we'll meet you outside to wrap her up in his freaky tentacles and my cables so you all can get the kill shot.”

 

Lucifer's face fell at those last words… kill shot… on Lilith… could he really do this to her? He had loved her for ten thousand years. He fell from heaven for her!! But… she betrayed him. Took away his friends and family. Now he had someone who truly loved him, and didn't just want his status or power. Yes. He could do it. He would do it.

 

The doors to her lair opened, and a figure stepped out…

[boqvistsbabe]

Ok so fun gossip I heard

- 2 of the hockey boys had been secretly (nothing is actually a secret to me) dating for like 2 years but one is a science god who weightlifts competitively and plays 2/3 other sports very well and the other dropped out to smoke weed so they don't talk anymore and that is almost definitely the stoners fault and the nice really smart one is now stuck with a bunch of assholes because that was his only friend and he doesn't know that the queer femmes would adopt him to carry our bags

- there's a really popular girl who reads like Harry potter and colleen hoover (this is irrelevant I just like slander) exclusively who wants to be a radical politician but has never read any theory and don't follow politics

- the self appointed queen bee who cheated on her decent blonde bf by hooking up with her ex bffs abusive ex and then she left him for blondie and now has an on and off throuple with blondie and his besties, both of them are proclaimed straight and all of the are friends with shithead

- same queen bee and blondie, she posted on her til tok her rice purity score and it said that she had never come during sex, they were together for like 5 years and she has caught him watching porn while they fuck

- the annoying ass conservative dude who is like 6'6 and is the bad bitch lesbians man servant (he says friend but idk) started a fight with a known tiny 14 year old gang member and when a knife got pulled his mom, who works at the school, called the cops, same day a kid got stabbed in the head with a pencil during math but that was unrelated

- the grade 11 gymrat that my friends and I are fairy gay parenting into leftism at the start of the year believed that drug dealers deserve the death sentence (we are canadian???) and his ex gf's brother is in prison for petty drug crimes and his new gf is a scary bisexual weed dealer but I influenced him to be way better and they are a power couple

- all of the boys bathrooms are missing the soap dispenser and the mirrors, sinks and toilet seats are regularly stolen also once a custodian quit after having just walked into the main one

- we had a 3 hour secure school because a girl punched the librarian and the librarian passed out and then the girl hid somewhere in the school

- at a beach party during the summer my favourite random school person (you know what I mean, right?) was super drunk and shot a firework at the police, put his Crocs in sport mode and then ran away, successfully as well

- same dude had a job at an arcade and would break in during the night to just vibe with the lasers and run around drinking and smoking I guess, he also once hid from the cops in a tree, he postef all of this on his snap

I can't think of other big ones but this should do for now

Omg it’s been forever and a day since you sent this but I’m still gonna react to this lol

- okay first of all what a story second of all I feel bad for the one guy 😢

- okay but like that checks out based on the books soooo

- wild absolutely wild. First of all cheating is so bad but somehow who she cheated with made it even worse? Also throuple?!

- NOTHING IN FIVE YEARS?! WHAT IS BRO DOING WRONG (obvi everything but like omg) also while they fuck? 🫢

- man servant I love 💀💀 also hang member? ! And a pencil stabbing? That’s a lot on one day

- death sentence?! Omg?! Literally what? Also ur so slay for that tho

- it’s giving devious licks 💀😭 also that’s so real

- why did she punch the librarian 😭 like what

- (ik what u mean, i love my random people) AT?! Also putting the crocs in sport mode then running is such a funny picture

- this guy sounds like such a vibe tbh

[moths-wc-aus]

ok ok thoughts on the hypoparents au!

so!!!!! the new prophecy happens, yada yada, we start settling in the new territories. squirrelflight and tawnypelt suddenly find, uh oh! we can't stop thinking about each other!

(side note, one of my issues with bramblesquirrel is the age gap and i'm pretty open about that, BUT the difference between that and tawnysquirrel is that tawnypelt likely never met squirrelpaw until the beginning of the new prophecy, and in this au, had absolutely zero romantic interest until a) they both got to know each other and b) squirrelflight was a fully grown adult warrior able to consent and make her own choices. it's not as Yikes to me because with bramblesquirrel, brambleclaw knew her from the time she was basically a newborn, and with tawnysquirrel, tawnypelt only met her when she was almost grown up)

so squirrelflight and tawnypelt start meeting in secret. at some point hawkfrost successfully kills firestar, and brambleclaw becomes leader. it is important to mark that brambleclaw did NOT help hawkfrost, nor is he aware of what hawkfrost has done! he's an ass in this au, but not a villain. squirrelflight is mourning the shit out of her dad and starts feeling all icky and bloated and sleeping all the time, but that's like. normal for grief, right? oh, she's pregnant? OH FUCK, SHE'S PREGGERS?????

so she tells tawnypelt all panicky n shit, and tawnypelt is also panicking but is better at thinking through things under pressure, and tawny's like "uhhh fuck you're gonna start showing at some point. uhhh i know that there's an unspoken rule about not asking queens who their baby makers are, we could use that??? i mean. our relationship is KINDA illegal so…." and squilf goes "FUCK that!!! i do NOT want people whispering about our kits and making all kinds of shitty assumptions about their sire!!" and tawnypelt has this moment where she's completely blown over with love and is like [heart eyes] "our kits"

so they talk a little more and decide hey, bramblestar is tawnypelt's brother, they could probably ask him to pretend that he sired squilf's kits??? bramblestar has an Unexpected Huge Reaction of "CODE BREAKERS??? IN MY CLAN????? HELL NAW" and kicks squilf tf out, spilling the beans to literally everyone. so basically everyone around the lake is scandalized as fuck, and tawny and squirrel are both MORTIFIED and wondering "hey wtf just happened" (wtf just happened is that bramble and crow have been in their own super toxic hatefuck illegal relationship, and bramble figured that if he starts cracking down on cats who have cross-clan relationships, then no one would suspect HIM of having one!)

leafpool then has a vision of firestar and goes to squilf like "hey uhhhh dad is really pissed about this whole thing and has given you permission to like. start a new clan. i'd be willing to join btw!!! i just gotta figure out how my job would work…" and squilf is like "dope! i don't… particularly want to be leader?" and tawnypelt is like "mmm neither do i… BUT if i become leader i could be the best damn leader ever and piss off my dad, so i'll do it ig!"

some windclan cats who'd been against onestar catch wind of this and join, as do other cats who were in their own secret relationships! tawnystar becomes leader of galeclan with squirrelflight as her deputy and leafpool and mothflight as her healers, and the two mates have a healthy litter of three kits, named flamekit, hollykit, and lionkit! (they later have another litter, alderkit and rowankit!)

crowfeather ends up having his own kit (breezepelt) and cursing bramblestar's name for knocking him up. he refuses to say who breeze's sire is and no one wants to ask because he WILL throw the fuck down. bramblestar knows he's breeze's other dad, though crowfeather hasn't confirmed it. it's sort of up in the air on whether breeze knows that bramble is his other dad? neither have said anything, but sometimes breezepelt looks at bramblestar in a way that makes crow and bramble wonder…

and no, bramblestar hasn't approached breezepelt. he feels pretty awkward about the whole thing, and he didn't even know breezepelt existed until… oh, man, his fourth or fifth gathering as an apprentice, maybe? the point is, bramble doesn't know the kid and isn't sure if he actually wants to be in his life, so just… doesn't reach out. there's always a part of him wondering what it might be like to be a dad, though…

[rainbowchaox]

i want to know all about your bi himbo and his friend group so i’ll take 50 for each of them

What is your favorite thing about them?

First off with the bi Himbo himself! His name is Athan and my favorite thing about him is honestly not what usually people would think. I love how petty and how despite being a asshole he is still charming. His whole thing is that he never believed in god but realized as one of the many bastard kids left to be raised by a whore mother in a brothel in the middle of what is pretty much like whore alley in a shitty unlawful like city right in the middle of two major kingdoms (one is based on like Roman and Greek stuff and the other is Arabic and Asian insipred) that hate each other and numerous times have gone to war. that he either was gonna be eventually be forced to be a servant or a whore because Surpise! He’s mixed Race between the white race and the brown race. And both kingdoms hate them mixed races (there’s actual lore reasons but I’m trying to summarize as much I can). But yeah he figured out soon as a kid the only way he could go past than a life in the gutter is to get any sort of schooling. But obviously he isn’t dumb so he quickly realizes that the only way to get said schooling is to become part of the church as luckily his magical core is Light (there’s schools for nobility and then the church also teaches their priests in training the same stuff.). It’s his best chance to have a life BUT becoming the part of the church is like where the shitty second horns of nobles usually go to and Despite being one of the only talented commoners ducking insults all the rich boys and legit is so blunt that half his class hates him. He is just in it for a good job and somehow he becomes a better priest than legit all his peers. Like he is petty and will make a douche embrass himself. (Literally how he became a ex priest is when the new head saint is like you are too rude to the nobles and he was like ok give me my retirement fund and the head saint was like WHAT THE FUCK.). He also starts numerous socialist movements by accident when he drank some wine. (Ps he has light brown skin numerous freckles and moles golden brown eyes.)

Next is Eis (my beloved). I love him so much because he is such a funny little ace spectrum (literally only had them feelings when he saw Athan being his gremlin self and was like oh shit) homosexual.he is introduced as this powerful Battle Mage that everyone is pretty sure is the next incarnation of the worlds evil god. And when you see him and his future man interact he is JUST- that one smart kid in your class that legit tried to make some dangerous chemical in the lab for shit and giggles. He looks cold and a bit condescending but he is totally a force of chaos and major only child syndrome I won’t lie. (He has white hair and pale skin with stormy blue eyes)

Next is our girl boss and mess of a human being! Cadenza the expelled student from like Alchemy College. She is just insane. My favorite part of her is despite her utter insanity she will go ram for those she cares about. Like the amount of loyalty this sapphic goober has in her. (Brown wavy hair with emerald eyes)

And finally the queen herself, aka Norturne a ex assassin that’s such a bro. My favorite part is despite being the supposed edgy one she is legit the voice of reason. And she can’t flirt to help her whatsoever despite looking like a typical Feme fatale that uses charm to screw over people, nope. She is just very mellow and socially awkward.

[helios-narloch]

A Roll of Quarters Never Hurt Nobody

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics),

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Characters: Peter Parker, Wade Wilson, yellow box, white box, Nubbins

Additional Tags: Nubbins is a cat, Wade loves his cat, Peter is Broke. and so am i, hidden identities, Cute, free food, friends - Freeform, This was deleted so i'm posting it again, realistic?, Adults

Language: English Published:2022-08-11 Words:9,055 Chapters:1/1

It began awkwardly.

"I'm not homeless?" Wade frowned as he slowly took the offered scone from the young man.

The stranger's face paled and his expression glazed over as his frazzled college brain scrambled for an appropriate response. 

"I live in the apartment upstairs," Wade added to fill the awkward silence, unintentionally grinding the guy's mortification further. "I'm just waiting for my DoorDash because last time the chick walked off with the goods."

He could see the wheels and cogs turning in the young man's head as he tried to think but Wade was running out of things to say before this turned into a one-sided conversation he didn't really want to have. "You sure you're in any shape to be handing out food so Willy-Nilly?" He asked as he glanced him over, reaching out to peel a piece of masking tape off of the man's chest that had .50 cents written out in sharpie.

[I hate it when people write cents like that, having a point before the cent amount means it's half a dollar, no need to write cents after it. Choose one or the other. Dollars with a zero and decimal or cents, not both please.]

"Oh, well- I just..." the man giggled nervously before he scrubbed at his face, pulling at his skin so that his eyelids pulled away from his eyeballs and threatened to let them pop out of his head for a mere point two seconds.

(That was mentally scaring.)

The fifty-cent sweater was nice. It looked like some kind of wool knit. It was black with white snowflake patterns and looked casual with his well-loved jeans and abused backpack. His hair was brown, fluffy, and clean.

(And his eyes are bloodshot and big...)

His eyes were green....

[concerningly dark bags hang below those dusty green irises]

"I'm sorry.  You just looked like you needed something. Sorry about your DoorDash lady... you don't look homeless, I'm sorry. Did I say that, how did you know I was thinking that?" The young man asked, clearly distraught. "Don't worry about the scone, you can keep it."

(Bitch, as if I would ever consider giving it back.)

(Lick it, claim it as ours.)

[Would you shut up?]

"Your eyes gave it away. Most people look at ugly fucks like me and just assume I'm a ptsd ridden maniac with no home or way of getting a job." He shrugged. "It's not a first."

"That's...." The strange shook their head "again, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Thanks for the snack..." he offered the masking tape back from the end of his finger and looked away, taking a bite from the treat. It was blueberry, sweet and equally boring.

* * *

The second time he ran into him it was in the laundry. He was sitting, playing Mr. Love Queen's Choice while he was waiting for his machine to finish (as one does) when a sharp intake of break caught his attention. He looked up and none other than the green-eyed Peter was there to greet him. Well, not literally greet him. He wasn't even facing his way.

He watched the young man for a minute, staring silently while the guy pressed the start button only to fiddle with the settings knob and try again when the machine didn't start. Peter turned his attention to the mechanism, pushing the lever in to try and figure out what he'd done wrong, clearly in denial over the fact that his quarters had just been eaten.

[he seems pretty stressed. You should check it out.]

(But Lucien is confessing his feelings... who cares? We are in a date with a fictional man)

[maybe a real man wouldn't hurt.]

(With this face? Are you daft?)

Wade sighed and locked his phone. He pulled out his earbuds and got up to walk over to the familiar face. "Everything alright?"

Peter tensed, glancing over with a shameful look. He recognized him quickly and the tension left his shoulders but he still avoided his gaze. For once Wade didn't feel like it was because he was hideous.

"Hi," Peter said quietly. Laughing nervously for a moment. It must have been a moment needed to compose himself because when he looked over at Wade again an expressive mask had been put on to hide the anxiety that had been pouring off the kid moments ago.

"Guess you didn't know this is the quarter eater, huh?" Wade toed the washing machine. It was dented from years of angry patrons kicking out their frustration on the thing. Naturally, the machine was built like a tank and about twenty years older than Wade so the dents weren't a huge deterrent unless you took a good look at the scuff marks left behind from the soles of Peoples shoes. "Someone must have ripped off the note I left on it last week."

"Oh." Peter said quietly, staring at the agitator surrounded by his clothes in dismay.

"Here, just throw everything into that one next to mine." Wade pointed a few machines down. "People don't use the ones next to me in case they have to run into me while unloading."

Keep reading this sweet little slice of life on A03.

[thaylepo]

no for real tho, this pervasive idea that men and masculinity don't belong in queer spaces unless suitably "softened" (feminized) is a fucking infection of TERFism leeching itself like bog water into queer ideals and expectation. The very idea that a "safe space" automatically equals a space free of men or the reminder that men exist is TERF ideology. I can't outline it any clearer. That is literally what it is.

Queer is not just for the feminine, and any push in that direction is one that undermines the entire point of the inclusive umbrella that "Queer" is supposed to be. Men can be queers, queers can be men. You can have other more specific spaces for certains peoples' needs to feel safe, but an openly queer space is an openly queer space FOR EVERY QUEER. Yes, even the ones that skeev you out. Yes, even the ones you don't agree with. Yes, even them. Yes, them too. Everyone means everyone.

Just like an old school forum or a discord server has different areas for different things, we're allowed to have our specific groups to find safety and similarity in our smaller niches -- bisexual, ace, trans, non-binary, even gender-based experiences all differ and we are human. It's nice have a space for a certain thing and know what you'll find being discussed there and have support and camraderie for the very specific thing you may have feared was just you. We have literally always had those, guys. Spaces for queer men and queer women and queer anything-under-the-sun and queer things-that-haven't-been-defined-yet-but-will-be. Humans need a variety of both close knit and far reaching social networks of all kinds, it's normal to gravitate to where you most relate and find comfort.

BUT. BUT. You still need the big, inclusive, queer umbrella. That is our shield. That is our big scary thing that reminds people we are allowed to exist and have the power in numbers to do so. A bunch of tiny, disjointed little communities cut off from each other, nit-picking and infighting, is not strength. That is not a cohesive anything, let alone a movement. It is not a community that has a hope in hell of making any global change, let alone national or even local. A bunch of tiny infighting groups who can't work together don't even have the power to make a street safe at night for their people, let alone protect themselves and each other from sweeping legislation changes meant to fucking eradicate us.

And TERFs know this. The people who want to kill us know this. Stop doing their job for them.

Queer is for everyone. You have to have the big umbrella before the smaller ones can be safe, and you have to swallow your discomfort and disagreements and even some of your personal moral purity goals to protect that umbrella, because that is what a movement is. That is what a community is, and that is what queer is. We are not the bad people who may do bad things among us, we are people. People are messy and different and disagree and yes, people hurt each other. But people are allowed to exist, and queer people are allowed to exist. We only have to agree on this. That's all.

This is why use the word "queer" for myself before any more specific identifier. That is all I need to have in common with someone to know we share at least one goal: to survive and thrive. We all just fucking want to live, and yes, "we" includes men and transmen and masculinity and masc-nonbinary, it includes gay men and bi men and ace men, it includes butch and dyke and the non passing and the queens and the leather daddies and kinksters and every single thing that has ever made anyone uncomfortable just by existing without causing harm.

"Well, you signed up for this--"... No. YOU signed up for THIS. It was here before you, they were here before you, you walk on the road paved with their blood. You don't get to decide who it's for. Queer is for all of us.

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

[jujurose222]

blah blah blah

For a long time I felt like that one episode of Malcolm in the middle where he keeps his mouth shut for so long he gets an ulcer... Like bro I didn't even realize how important my words actually are... Now I don't shut up and manage to make everyone uncomfortable, quite consistently. Not to mention my family doesn't even fuck with me like that and has claimed that I am now the meanest. It is only because I read them to filth, but like it is so easy. I have been trying to be nicer and stop being Kourtney Kardashian when she was like, "No I am gonna tell you what your problem is." My Aries queen, only kardash I love til death. But if I see the problem I have to say something, it is literally not okay how much I do it. But I am sick of mother fuckers just pretending everything is fine, when it is clearly not. Like my mother, do not even get me started. Miss drink til I can't think about the hell I live in. Miss only two bottles of Hershey syrup and mustard in our fridge, but "Oh no, I don't have an eating disorder." Miss "I love you so much," but I literally cannot keep up with you Julia, and it is making me kind of jealous. I love my mother so fucking much, but I cannot keep sitting here in this house ruminating in her misery. As an empath it literally makes me so sad to be anywhere near my mother. I don't want to say this but the exact vibe my mother radiates is pathetic, like I feel like she feels she is pathetic. She literally said, "What does your sister even do on nights she is alone? she doesn't have any friends or hobbies." Bitch you don't have any real friends or any hobbies. Like why are you projecting onto your oldest daughter who literally runs a fucking business? Because you are jealous, and all your parents ever said you were good for was lookin pretty and getting married off. Too damn bad, you chose the worst man you could've married. It makes me sad, but I cannot keep sitting here in her misery it is making me sick. She got jealous of both my sisters because they had a conversation with her little "not" boyfriend at the bar. I cannot deal with this buffoonery. Thank god she is going on vacation this week, again by the way, she just got back yesterday from Nashville and now she is leaving for Florida. I had the ability to go to Florida with her and my cousin, but fuck that. Y'all can have fun at her cheer competition, I cannot deal with my mothers vibration. And then I will be out this house next month, finally alone. Been waiting since I was fucking 13 to be out this ho. I love my mom, but sorry, she is not a good role model, and I am the only one who cleans this goddamn house. I honestly am scared to leave her alone. Obvi a little dramatic but it will become a dust bunny in here.

Anyways I am grateful for my mother and everything she has done for me. She has made me the woman I am today, and at least she loved herself enough to leave my father. She was the path forger in her family with that action. She got my Aunt Kate to leave her husband who cheated on her 15 years of their marriage. I am so grateful my mom is brave in that sense, and she is good at her job, she is in HR. Surprise surprise, I am just like her in that sense, because I would succeed in HR so well. I get my loving light from her. She always loves despite anything, she just does not always have a full cup to love from.

[tavarillasgalen]

i literally keep crying today, and i think it's such a mix of emotions, of both the complexities of the holidays, anger at myself/my ex, and gratitude for all the ways my life has changed for the better this year.

i saw some journal prompts about writing down all the bad in a year to release it and then doing another about all the good, and i think... last year, there was so much bad. it was honestly one of the worst years of my life. but this year.... i think the good will far outweigh the bad.

but as far as bad things that happened this year:

i stayed with my ex for a whole month and a half past his dropping the bomb that he's actually NOWHERE NEAR done with his license, when he had led me to believe he almost had it and we could move this year. i stayed even though i was so bored, the relationship made me anxious, i wanted to die, etc.

my first personal trainer quit :( i really liked working with him. but he was working 2 jobs, his mental health was struggling with all the work, he was growing to hate the gym, he was worried he wasn't spending enough time with his girlfriend, he was struggling with most of his clients canceling all the time (like my current trainer does to me now lol), and he mentioned how he was getting paid a fraction of what i was paying the gym to have a trainer. so, like. i was expecting him to quit, and i'm really proud of him for doing what was best for him. but i'm just sad because he was an excellent trainer. he told me he'd let me know if he ever does training on his own again.

i just made a post about this, but my current trainer is... well. idk. when we were set up together, i thought she would be a perfect fit, even better than my last trainer. but then... she cancels so much, she treats me like i don't know things, she repeats herself so much, she does 40 minutes of training when i pay for 60, and all the other things i mentioned in the other post... it's.... i've grown to dread our sessions together.

my horse's old stable.... this was... huge. so, after last year when they were making me out to be a drama queen for telling them that it's unacceptable for them to steal my horse's toys, for them to move her stall without telling me, and all this, this year, they... fired the cowboy who was in charge of taking care of the horses. so. they didn't clean her stall. or turn her out. or even give her all of her meals. i had to go do that even though we were paying them for full care. like, the horror of when i went to go see her on the weekend only to see that her stall looked like it hadn't been cleaned all week... i was FURIOUS. we had to move her because we could no longer trust them to even feed her. i can't believe they're still in business.

loud coworkers who act like you're the problem for needing the office to be quiet in order to concentrate on your work and for not liking to hear shit-talking.

annoying coworkers stay annoying.

people in general treating me like i am stupid.

people trying to put me down and brush off what i am good at/have accomplished.

that one ballet guy who somehow knew where my little brother goes to school... he seemed perfectly nice outside of that, but that was when i was like, okay..... time to find a new ballet studio, lol.

the retinol uglies. those weren't fun. thankfully, they only lasted a month.

i somehow got an STD???? when i went to my yearly wellcheck and the test results came back and the doctor asked about if i'd had any sexual encounters recently, and i was like... only ever with my ex, and i don't even know if we had sex at all in the month and a half leading up to the breakup. so... not sure how that happened, unless he was cheating on me or something.... thankfully, it was super easy to treat, like, it was gone in 2 weeks. but just... how the fuck did i even get that.

my car got a flat tire - which kind of turned out to be a good thing because then it got new tires, and it was likely going to be due for new tires this year anyway.

general mental health struggles, lol

general struggles that come along with not being paid enough to be able to live on your own.

a fantasy photoshoot i had scheduled had to be cancelled because the photographer got covid

i was supposed to go to comic con with another person i'd met the year before, but she left me high and dry, so i had to do the thing alone while also being like... what's wrong with me, she said she'd be happy to go with me, she said she'd meet me here, she said she was on the way, and then... ghosted. so that didn't feel good.

as you can tell, i'm kind of reaching for straws a bit here, lol.

[the-art-in-arthesia-is-loud]

World-building Log #1: The Cantate Kingdom

yayayaayqyqyyyyy world buildinggggg

also these are written from the perspective of any team destruction (group i mentioned in my post abt spinel) member that i feel like would write abt this lel

———

Alright. Mr. Destruction wanted me to make these files about certain parts of this world. Well, not only me, but everyone else. It's just that he wanted me to do the job first while everyone lounges around like a bunch of idiots.

Oh well, doesn't matter, I like working anyway. So let's get to work! I've made a lot of research here, so hopefully I can sum up a general overview of the Cantate Kingdom well~

So basically, the Cantate Kingdom is...probably the most largest and most popular kingdom there is. They have an exceptionally high reputation compared to other territories in this world, and overall, it is viewed highly.

The people of the Cantate Kingdom are all either super rich/billionaire level rich, or probably just normal wealthy, which sounds rather impossible at first, but let me state why this is the case.

Everyone here—except the children and wives who just wanna be housewives for some reason (boring...)—fucking work. They work their asses off like their life depends on it.

And guess what? The rulers are very fair too! They rule their kingdom well, and give their citizens who don't have much as much as they can give, making them rather successful in life.

The citizens mostly have jobs in the music industry, which made the kingdom itself be labeled "The Kingdom of Music" or something. I am...not 100% sure what the name Cantate would mean and honestly? I am wayyy too lazy to research on that because I'm tired already.

I think I'll leave the file/log about the Astra Kingdom to Sp instead...

Either way, enough about the people, let's talk about the ruler theirselves; the Cantate family. The kingdom's name is literally their family name! Wow! How uncreative.

The Cantate family has been around from generations to generations. Currently, the only known Cantate family members who are alive as of now are a family of four. The kingdom is currently ruled by two queens (love wins! <3); Queen Amina and Queen Aria.

They both have two kids, whom they adopted, the elder one being Princess Aresi, and the youngest one—younger than Aresi by two years, that is—being Prince Ars, who is currently our main target for something as of now. Well, that's what Retri and Destruction told me.

The two queens rule the kingdom fairly, thankfully, so everyone in the kingdom gets equal treatment! How wonderful!

However, I want to add onto this with an...interesting fact about the Cantate family that I'm sure would be useful for us later on.

When one of their children is old enough (if I'm not wrong, around 12-15 years old or whatever), the current rulers pass down a very special family item to them. That family item being the Cantate Gem.

The Cantate Gem hold very special powers that help protect the kingdom from any dangers or threats amongst them. It would also bring a nice, hopeful aura to the kingdom. However, it can also bring side effects to the wielder if their mental health isn't that stable by the time they received the gem.

This is a very important point, because according to research about Prince Ars Cantate himself, he has these side effects, so surely he would be mentally fucked up somehow. (lol)

But that's a story for another day! For now, though, I think that's a wrap for the Cantate Kingdom. Yeah, I am 100% making Sp deal with the file/log for the Astra Kingdom, because this was a hell to go through.

— Arg

[rainbowgod666]

(BREAKS WALL LIKE KOOL AID MAN) LIST OF WHAT THE FOUNDATION DOCTORS ARE TO MÆ(noises of a GBA cartridge having an orgasm. I mean a strong one)

Bright: had to tell everyone hes mine now. Sorry but the dude that created him first actually never did anything for it but use him to bait minors. On another note Jack punched clef thru a wall over a "hehe ur original artist was a kid diddler and the only reason youre alive is someone with autism" joke sO

Shaw: for the love of FUCK keep this boi away from danger hes such a lil fella look at him with his artisanal flamethrower and golden-brown soft fluffy hair hes SUCH A SMOL BOI A-

Kondraki: cool dude who can Actually Use A Katana and has butterflies. No one knows if the anomaly is the butterflies or the fact he can straight up summon them. People stopped doing "bottledick" jokes to him years ago after a drunken crying session. Of course the one thats out of thus one is... clef

Light: some people say shes "female bright" (which is billshit because bright isnt even THAT horny) and i say shes a good researcher who just so happens to sound excessively flirty. Shes also shaped like the expected idea of a Hot Girl but everyones like "she does her job, and thats cool". Yes she notices the stares of junior researches and Yes she can sometimes be a tease. Idk why she loves doing that but hey. Everyones different

Rights: also Literally Just A Normal Person, she sometimes infodumps about her fanfics and... its actually really interesting to hear her like idfk why everyone is like that. LET THE MELANINE MILADY COOK🔥🔥🔥she makes some trULY esaustive reports and everyone silently agrees that telling someone "hey, right's like this because she lurks in AO3" is just.. mean. Has been (and probably still is, decided its their fuckign problem cause "author entity" shouldnt mean "privacy ignoring ass") "friends with benefits" with light and... both cant deny they didnt enjoy those late nights between girls >w○

Iceberg: for some reason his "anomalous trait" is "hes cold in the sense of Body Is Cold AF but Still Works". Like dudes skin is SLIGHTLY blue like some weird Anomalous DNA Bullshit and his hair is straight up Light Ice Blue. Other than that hes... kind of a lil ray of sunshine honestly, he may be a walking refrigerator but he doesnt having problems warming up to people :) (haha i have made a bad temperature pun)

Gears: he is basically mostly robotic, calm and collected, and... honestly hes kinda alright. Like he can come off as emotionless but like... he is??? I know of at least ONE incident where a mekhanite delegation looked at him and was like "you guys dont even need to worship MEKHANE? Cool" and he went "im literally a mekhanite". Dude is also really based btw like man i get that you're an accidental reference to Spock but holy shit dude why are you a chad

Buck: O5-6. And i am the only one that figured that out. LoL (also shes kinda of a stuck-up. Girl i get that the foundations job is important but one day 682 is gonna tell you "attitude like this is why i hate humanity" and youre gonna be in 999s cell for a WHILE.) (Seriously light tf up. Get a videogame, talk with people, GO OUTSIDE-)

Collingwood: something in my universe mist be Horribly Wrong because uuuh... she somehow now wants to have an SCP...Bf. no. I may be technically a 001-SWANN entity but i have no idea wtf happened. All I know is that our grey-haired queen is yearning and i hope i got it wrong because lemme tell you. I definetively misunderstood her. (Also the other option is She Has A Crush On Buck, which i mean... ok? But like girl there are other girls out there- unless you Have A Type, then i shall stfu)

Clef: three eyed shotgun addict who made her daughters file look like her anomalous effect isnt "cute forest spirit girl with a catholic upbringing who eventually got a bit more relaxed" (she still goes to Foundation Church [which is church but inside of a site] cause come on at least once a month she gotta stay in the confessional. Turns out the entire clerical part of the foundation looked at this Deer Dearie and went "shes cool 👍") but "EvErYoNe WaNtS tO fUcK hEr OoOoOo" like NO you "i will find the "n-word with the hard r" for reality benders" 12-gauge addict just because many people say "hey clef ur daughters cute :3" doesnt meant they feel Like That. Actually get this: currently shes like... either 22 or 24 idk and shes with SCP-239, WHO IS A 19 22YO WORKAHOLIC THAT IS A TYPE GREEN AND TYPE BLUE AT THE SAME TIME AND THE FOUNDATION WAS LIKE "LeTs MaKe HeR wOrK aT tHaUmAtUrGy!" yEAH THANK YOU NOW SHE HAS A CAFFEINE ADDICT. IF IT WASNT FOR HER BIG TIDDY NATURE SPIRIT GF SHE WOULD BE AN XK YOU DEFLATED PENIS. GO PLAY BUCKSHOT ROULETTE IRL YOU DISGRACE UPON GARNET STEVEN UNIVERSE OF A THREE EYED SHIT.

rights is such an intresting fucking character and the fact that shes either reduced down to some sex pest horny stripper archetype or just everyones actual fucking mother makes my blood boil. you literally do not see this type of shit happening with the other male doctors and i think everyone knows good and well why. rights is a sweet, caring woman, who goes out of her way to be nice to people despite everything she has gone through but that does not make her a fucking suitable mother, in fact when she does actually have a daughter she doesn't even feel anything towards it. she isn't fit to be a mother, point blank. that's just not who she is. and like, yeah, her sexuality is a large part of her character, it's not something that she goes out of her way to hide, in fact it's something that is shown outright a lot of types and it's never something she shies away from, but holy fuck she is not a sex pest who goes around fucking everyone in sight. reducing her to either of these things is to ignore her entire character, in that she can be both while still being human. rights isn't meant to fit into a fucking box, it goes against her character to try to pack her into one. when you try to shift her into an archetype, you end up ignoring a lot of her other facets. god. anyway. everyone get normal about doctor agatha rights or else im going to kill you

[ncmvds]

|| I keep forgetting I'm going to a clown school thats for clowns 😔

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Polyship with Atsumu and Oikawa:

Are you ok YN?

Oikawa Toru x Miya Atsumu x Female! Reader

Warnings: None? It's so wholesome 🥺 again idk what's wrong with me 🥺

AN: This is a request from my bestie Spooky anon!

🏳️‍🌈 Please Like, Share, Comment to support my writing 🏳️‍🌈

I spent a good long while laughing at this 🤣

Because like OMG YN-

Like are you seeing the same picture above that I am?

Because like these two are literally copy cat versions of one another

I just imagine them being on Team A during the promotional match and I can't deal 😅

Like how chaotic

But you know what, we love this for you

Honestly if anyone can handle it, it's definitely you

Our queen, our SAVIOR 👏🏻

YN the great 👑

So because these two are SO dramatic

Imma make this one UBER dramatic mkay 💅🏼

First off, you were hired by Kuroo as Team A's Manager

You lucky B-

Nope not today Tiffany, not about you 🤚🏻

However, our bbys didn't know this yet

So after you were hired, you decided to celebrate wirh your favorite drink at a local coffee house

Looking all stunning in your power suit and gorgeous face 😍

You get in line when you suddenly feeling a looming presence behind you

As in like 6'2" looming-

You turn around to see a man who really needs to tone his hair but hey he's cute 👀

You smile as he smirks back at you 😏

You turn around to walk up to the counter when some jerk face cuts you off

"Hey! I was next"- you say

The man looks down at you, rolls his eyes and turns to place his order

Oof 😬

"Umm excuse me"- you say tapping the man on the shoulder

He ignores you until 👀

"Hey jerk face"- the man behind you booms

"You cut this gorgeous lady off as well as me and these other people. Now get in the back of the line before I rearrange your face"- the blonde says as the man in front of you turns to face you

"I'd like to see you try"- the man says as the blonde pulls you out of the way and behind him

"Sir- you need to leave or get to the back of the line now!"- the batista shouts at the rude jerk

He scoffs as the blonde gets in his face and pushes him towards the door

"Get the fuck out and don't come back ya hear!"- the blonde says shoving the man out the door and onto the sidewalk

Everyone watches and cheers as the blonde comes back in

"Are you ok?"- he asks you approaching

"Yeah I'm ok. You?"- you say smiling back

"I'm great. Now let's get you your coffee gorgeous. By the way, my name is Miya Atsumu"

"LN YN"- you say shaking his hand and going to order

Now I won't get into much because I feel like you'd talk with Atsumu and then you'd both part ways

Atsumu is definitely kicking himself for not asking for your number

Little does he know 😏😏😏

Now you met Oikawa in much a similar way

Randomly before you started your manager job

While grocery shopping, you were reaching for a loaf of milk bread 😏

Your hand touched someone's as you quickly pulled it away

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!"- you say, apologizing

"Oh no please after you"- the man says smiling back

"There's only one left. I insist- I don't need it, I can make my own at home"- you

The man 👉🏻😳 you- you can make milk bread?

You smile and nod

"Milk bread is my favorite but I've never had homemade before"- he says

"Oh its really good! I make mine a little sweeter than most. Oh gosh, how rude of me not to introduce myself, my name is LN YN"- you say extending you hand

"Oikawa Toru but please call me Toru"- he says shaking your hand

"Well it was very nice to meet you Toru, I hope you enjoy the milk bread!"- you say, waving to him as you stroll away

Oikawa 👉🏻👁👄👁 thank you

Please Oikawa is too stunned to even move

By the time he realizes it, you've already left and he's cursing himself for not grabbing your number

🙃🙃🙃 don't we just love how things work out

The chaos I create makes me so happy 🥰

The guys all line up, waiting to meet their new manager

Please Oikawa and Atsumu are forced to stand together 😃

It's going great-

Not

"Will you please not stand so close to me?"- Atsumu says

"Maybe if your ego wasn't so big you'd have more room!"- Oikawa retorts

Team A 👉🏻😐🙄

Please we all know Kuroo created the teams just to cause this chaos 🤚🏻

The door opens and you stroll in

Gorgeous in your leggings and Team A shirt, hair tied up

Atsumu and Oikawa 👉🏻😐😳😲

You smile when you see them, waving at them

Everyone looks at Oikawa and Atsumu as they both say in tandem "Hi YN"

Atsumu and Oikawa look at each other and we'll, the picture above is literally them 👆🏻

You just giggle and smile "it's nice to see you Atsumu and Toru"

Our boys instantly stop fighting and immediately swoon over you

Now I think we all know exactly how this is going to go YN

They will fight for your affections the entire time

It's literally "YN did you see that setter dump?" "YN did you see that perfect set?"

YN this, YN that

Of course you are an absolute angel and you just adore them both

They will silently fight over you for weeks

Until one day, Oikawa decides to be Oikawa

"Hey YN! I was wondering if you'd like to go to the museum with me?"

Atsumu hears this and RUNS 🏃‍♂️ to you

"I was going to ask YN if she wanted to go to the outdoor gardens with me!"- Sumu

Again, see picture above for reference of interaction 🤪

"I know! Why don't we do the museum and gardens together"- you 🥰

The boys look at you and then at each other

They see how happy you look and both nod in agreement

Now this definitely has the makings of one of those polyships where it's like enemies to lovers for two other characters but they both have a mutual interest in the third person

Now, your date out with the two of them goes surprisingly well

I mean, as well as any Atsumu and Oikawa interaction can go 😬

They did argue and try to one up each other like usual

But they also managed to agree on a few things

Like that they both desire to beat Kageyama

and that they both think you are adorable 🥰

As the weeks progress, they somehow get in a routine with each other

Yes there is fights but they somehow manage to keep it locked down

"Hey YN, how about we go to the movies tonight?"- Oikawa

"There's this great Sci-fy movie playing" Sumu adds

"Great idea Sumu!"- Oikawa says as everyone on team A stares in stunned silence

You agree and hug the boys as you turn to see the team

The team 👉🏻👁👄👁

You 👉🏻🤷‍♀️

Your feelings develop as you grow close to both of them

BUT I also their their feelings for each other would develop too

Lile they realize they are more alike than anything

While I know them both to be super competitive, I don't think they would compete over you

Especially since I do see them as caring for you and seeing how the other one makes you happy

It's like a cohesive unit 🥰

A unit that sometimes fights over who is the better setter but still 💅🏼

In fact, it's actually Atsumu and Toru who being up the idea of a polyship to you

Now I can't say you haven't been conflicted

I mean, who wouldn't be

You literally have two hotties at your beck and call YN

Your feelings for both were strong but you'd never want to break up a team or a budding friendship by ruining it with feelings

Honestly same YN 😔

So you took what you could get and just let whatever you three had together develop

So when Sumu turned off the TV one night and faced you and Toru you were confused

"YN what do you think we have here?"- Sumu

Blunt approach- ok cool 👌🏻

"Umm well- I uh"- you, nervous

"YN Sumu just wants to know what you consider us"- Toru

Ok not clearing things up here but we must forge on

You 👉🏻🤨 umm well-

"Toru and I consider you more than a friend"- Sumu interjects

Literally this is a conversation between Sumu and Toru and YN is just an invited guest 😅

"I consider you guys that too"- you say

"Ok then it's settled"- Toru

You 👉🏻👀 what's settled

Congrats YN you now have two Boyfriends 🥰

What a dynamic team honestly 😅 love that for you

Your relationship has its ups and downs like most

But honestly you all manage to make it work

Toru gets homemade milk bread

You and Sumu take trips to the get coffee everyday

You talk to Kageyama-

Wait 🤚🏻

Yep that's right? Your boys are literally sulking in the corner as you talk to their arch nemesis

"Ugh why does YN have to talk to him?"- Oikawa murmers

"Right? She's out Manager and girlfriend" Atsumu

"You two are so pathetic"- Sakusa says walking by

Suddenly it happens, Kageyama pushes your hair back from your face

Faster than lightening Oikawa and Atsumu are right beside you

The literally said "I am SPEED" 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♂️

"Ahh get your filthy hands off of my YN"- Toru

"Our YN"- Atsumu 😑

"Right our YN"- Oikawa says pushing you behind him

"Toru stop"- you say as Oikawa and Atsumu face off with Kageyama

You manage to squeeze yourself in between the three, pushing Toru and Sumu away

"I'm so sorry about this Tobio. I'll talk to you later"- you say, shoving the boulders known as your boyfriends away

"You call him Tobio"- Atsumu 😱

Oikawa is literally making this face as you push him away 👇🏻

You just roll your eyes

"Having fun YN"- Aran laughs as he walks by

You 👉🏻😐 the time of my life

Seriously YN, that feels like your life motto dating two of the best setters in Japan 🥰