#like french/curtain bangs…….

[trentreznorspussy]

heading the voices again (thinking about cutting bangs)

[saintofsacrilege]

aftg headcanons that are so real to me i forget they aren’t canon:

black dan and matt

korean american renee

ethnically ambiguous kevin

katelyn looking a lot like neil (red hair, blue eyes, facial structure, etc)

andrew has an eyebrow piercing

andrew paints his nails black

lactose intolerant twinyards

twinyards both have curtain bangs

neil purposefully mispronouncing french words to annoy kevin

neil randomly speaking to nicky in spanish and nicky going: “huh? 😃” (he has no idea what neil just said)

seth’s hairline being a literal straight line

renee having massive angel wings tattooed on her back

renee giving andrew a black cross for his birthday and him wearing it every single day in an alt, edgy way (it matches her silver one perfectly. yes they have best friend necklaces i decree it)

allison helping renee dye the ends of her hair and renee helping allison touch up her roots

allison and andrew developing a frenemies kinda thing

doll and her twink dynamics abounding (renee and andrew, allison and neil, allison and nicky)

allison and nicky becoming besties

dan wearing orange the most often out of all the foxes… until neil comes along. then they compete

neil and andrew constantly wearing each other’s jersey

nicky giggling whenever he sees kevin’s tattoo (his internal dialogue: yas queen skinny legend versace boots the house down slay queen hungry mama and oop daddy work charli xcx snatch my wig)

biromantic aspec kevin

queer renee

demiromantic andrew

[bitchface24-7]

This is a really short request but jayvik x reader who like just randomly cut her hair short one day for no reason other than vibes

A SMALL CHANGE - JAYVIK X READER

synopsis: you’ve always had luscious hair. It was the main thing people complimented you on, and you’re starting to hate it. You’ve always wanted to change your hairstyle; try something new. After a minor crash out, you’ve got no choice but to chop it all off. Hopefully, you won't regret it in the morning.

warnings: y'all smoke in this, crash out (no reason in particular described), impulsively cutting your hair, overthinking, your boys LOVE the new look; stop being a silly goose, fluff, pre-established relationship, Grammarly is my beta

genre: m/m/f or m/m/m

p.s. I went through a phase for a few years where the longest my hair went was just brushing my shoulders. I had a french bob for a while, I even experimented with bangs that weren't curtain style. I'd love to go as short as Winona is up above but I'd like to re-experience my long hair again before that. Hope y'all enjoy!

Life’s been kicking your ass recently

Nothing has gone to plan. Your work life, social life, hell even some of your romantic life has taken a small hit due to the importance of Hextech and he council breathing down your boys necks.

So one day, when they're out late, and you mean late at the lab, the straw finally broke the camels back. And you crashed out. Hard.

After all this built-up tension, and frustration, you just couldn't take it anymore.

In an oversized t-shirt stolen from Jayce and a simple pair of underwear, you snag your pack of cigarettes out of your bedside drawer. You quickly sit on your windowsill in your room and pop a cigarette in between your lips and start to puff like a train.

It’s not helping you in the way it usually does. You're running your hands through your hair, your leg is bouncing up and down incessantly, your anxiety hasn't wained at all.

As you look out into the distance and see the councillor's tower, you get up and stomp your way to the bathroom. You hastily enter the ensuite and slam your hands into the counter, swiping off all of your toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, and deodorant.

You look in the mirror and glare at yourself, inhaling shakily and exhaling the cigarette still gently placed in your mouth. You open the medicine cabinet and grab a pair of scissors, and without even thinking, you grab a chunk of hair.

Snip.

You freeze for a moment. Holy shit. You just… yup. You just cut a good chunk of hair off. Maybe like… six inches? Seven?

Well, shit. You don't have the power to reverse time so… you've gotta fix this. You've always wanted to change your hair, even if others disagreed with you. But you thought you'd be in a salon chair getting this mini makeover, not at three in the morning as you angrily cut your hair without thinking.

So you do just that. You start to cut your hair.

Snip.

Snip.

Snip.

More and more hair falls into the sink, it's almost a ridiculous amount. It looks like a small dog at this point. A little bit of layering here, face-framing pieces here, you even add some curtain bangs to accentuate your features.

Almost all of your hair is in the sink by the time you're done. You calmly place the scissors down and look at yourself in the mirror, appreciating your work.

The haircut is the shortest your hair has ever been. It stops at the nape of your neck, there are longer layers, curtain bangs, and a nice voluminousness to your hair now. You run a hand through your hair and giggle. It's so short, so light, so different.

You put two fingers onto your cigarette and inhale once more, taking the tobacco out of your mouth and slowly exhaling, you rub one eye with the hand holding the cigarette, aiming the lighted end away from your face and hair. You smile at yourself in the mirror.

You look good. Better than good. You look fantastic! You freeze for a moment when a freight train hits you. Oh god. Viktor and Jayce have no idea about what you've just done. They're gonna come home and all your hair is essentially gone. What if they hate it? What if they think you're ugly? What if they break up with you?

You shut those thoughts down quickly. They're not vain. They won't break your heart over something so minuscule. You put the cigarette back in between your lips and clean up the bathroom. Cleaning the sink by tossing all the hair you can into the trash, the rest going down the drain. You pick up all the care items you swiped and put them back in their respective spots.

You take one last look in the mirror and casually stroll back to your bedroom, finishing the cigarette and putting it out in your ashtray at the windowsill. A light groan escapes you as you stretch and bundle yourself into your bed. You'll worry about Jayce and Viktor's reaction in the morning.

Its now the morning and you completely forgot about what you did until you wake up and run a hand through your hair.

You chopped it all off last night. Oops.

Some noise in the kitchen disturbs your thoughts, so you whip on some comfy pajama shorts and put some slippers onto your feet, the floors are cold in the morning.

Jayce is bustling in the kitchen as Viktor sits at the island sipping his coffee, and reading the newspaper.

Their attention immediately turns to you when they hear you shuffle into the room. They look shocked at your appearance.

“Holy shit babe,” Jayce starts, almost dropping a pan, “Your hair. It looks—”

“Bad.” You nervously interrupt, as your eyes dart between the two of them. Jayce's jaw stays dropped as he checks you out, Viktor lightly shakes his head and smirks “Good. He was going to say it looks good darling. Phenomenal I’d say. It frames your face wonderfully, and it leaves more skin exposed.”

You feel your face heat up at his deceleration and run a hand through your hair, it fluffs up your bangs and it makes Jayce choke a bit as Viktor sniggers. You sit next to Viktor and he immediately places a kiss on your bare shoulder. “See? Oversized shirt, short hair, easy access.”

A small snort escapes you as you lightly slap Viktor in the chest, “You perv.”

“It's the truth! Jayce, tell them!”

Jayce looks at you, eyes big and pleading, “He’s right. I thought you were attractive before but wow… this haircut really suits you.”

You can't help but smile at your two boys. Your mind made you think the craziest thougts. Jumping through fire to get to those conclusions. But you knew they really wouldn't mind, they love you, not your hair.

And they seem to really really like it.

So having a minor crash out at three in the morning and impulsively cutting your hair was a good thing after all. Who knew?

I too have impulsively cut my hair at 3am, the shortest I went was a french bob. I'm currently growing my hair out after having it short for three years. I want long hair again for a while before doing a big chop like the one up above.

[wintfleur]

𝓛ITTLE MISS SUNSHINE

aka heathers profile

━━━ ❛ cause she’s that kind of book you can’t put down

ꪆ୧ BASICS .ᐟ

name: Heather Elise Hughes 

nicknames:

tiny (close friends) 

sunshine (everyone)

elie (parents & willy ) 

sweet girl (ellen) 

hattie (brothers) 

heath (jack) 

princess (joe) 

honey (joe) 

petal (joe) 

birthday and zodiac: May 14th 2001, taurus 

age: 23

birthplace: orlando, florida 

location: 

michigan (former)

vancouver, canada (former) 

cincinnati, ohio (currently) 

ꪆ୧ APPEARANCE  .ᐟ

eye color: blue 

glasses? heather prefers to wear her glasses, only really wearing contacts when she just doesn't want to deal with her glasses, usually when she goes out. 

hair color: medium blond 

hair styles: heather likes to keep her hair down at mid-back length, with curtain bangs that frame her face. to keep her hair out of her face and up, she likes putting it in a ponytail or a lower bun, or in two braids. 

skin tone: pale ivory 

height: 5’4 

scars: has a few scares littered across her hands from years of being in the kitchen.

piercing(s): two in both of her lobes 

tattoo(s): none 

face claim: sabrina carpenter 

ꪆ୧ ABOUT  .ᐟ

personality: anyone who knew heather or knew of her, would always describe her as being the ‘sweetest soul’. ever since she was little she's always tried to look for the best in people, treating everyone with kindness and fairness. Heather has a very warm personality, kind, friendly, enthusiastic and she loves showing affection emotionally or physically. Heather is soft spoken but can get a little loud/giggly when she feels happy/comfortable. A lot of her friends have said she has a nurturing personality, and just someone you want to be around and have in your life. Despite her soft spokenness she is very protective of the people she loves, luke likes to joke about her being like a ‘mama bear’ 

good traits: kind, honest, loyal, creative, family oriented, comforting, passionate, grateful 

bad traits: self critical, emotional when tired, an overthinker 

quirks: very affectionate, rants/rambles, nods when she listens to people talk, fidgets with her glasses, is always putting on chapstick, fidgets with her or joes hands when nervous, bites her lip when she's focused 

likes: christmas, animals, boats, cuddling with joe, skating with her brothers, conspiracy theories, her nintendo switch, journaling, singing, natural sunlight, snoopy, trying new recipes, cloudy weather 

dislikes: rude people, scary movies, spiders, being put on the spot, being taken advantage, bad manners, mansplaining  

hobbies: art, reading, gardening, jogging, singing, pilates, hockey, drawing, scrapbooking, knitting 

fears: losing her family, tight spaces, being buried alive, clowns 

strengths: her kindness, time management, her generosity, organized, her intellect 

weaknesses: her kindness at times, doesn't realize when people are using her, gives to many chances to people who don't deserve them, her anxiety, tends to overwork herself, gets headaches easily 

languages spoken: english (fluent) french (learning)

occupation/profession: owner of her own bakery, pastry chef, florist & influencer/singer 

ambition/dream: to have her own family 

current concern: how to convince joe that they should get a puppy 

currently listening to: lovebug - jonas brothers 

ꪆ୧ RELATIONSHIPS  .ᐟ

parents:

Jim hughes 

Ellen Weinberg-hughes 

sibling(s):

Quinn hughes

Jack hughes 

Luke hughes 

best friends: cole caufield, william nylander, olivia grace lennox, sophie carter, elora smith, mark suh

friends: most of her brothers friends & teammates, ja’marr chase, kennedy walsh, joe’s teammates, hailee steinfeld, justin herbert

love interest: joe burrow 

pet(s): a male white cat, named snoopy 

ꪆ୧ MORE .ᐟ

scent: in the words of her closest friends and family ‘warm and comforting’ she either smells like flowers or fresh bread / pastries or her signature perfume Gucci flora. Her scent is very welcoming and warm, and it lingers. She's often thought about when people smell fresh flowers or fresh bread. Her scent isn't overwhelming at all, it's very welcoming and comforting, some associate her with the smell of christmas. 

outfits: a few stable items in her wardrobe is;  her sweaters, her skirts, and tights. Heather loves clothes so she has a large wardrobe. She will wear all different shades of clothing, as long as she matches, she likes to look presentable. her day to day clothing consists of skirts, low rise or mom jeans, sweaters, baby tees, long sleeves or short dresses with tights under them. If she wants to be more comfortable, she likes wearing a pair of loose jeans and a big sweater. Heather is a big boots, platforms and Mary Jane girl, she has a few pairs of sneakers but they don’t normally go with her regular outfits. She likes experimenting with clothes! 

accessories: Heather is a big fan of accessories, she has many different pairs of prescription glasses so she has a lot of options for outfits. She loves wearing hair clips, thick hair bands, ear muffs, berets, bows, sunglasses. for her bags she likes having smaller ones for when she goes out, cute tiny keychains on them, for her more practical bags she likes having keychains on them as well. 

jewelry: heather loves jewelry! But she honestly doesn't wear it on the regular, it usually gets in her way as she bakes and it's just more sanitary if she doesn't wear it at all. She does wear her gold arden diamond promise ring that Joe got her every single day, always putting it in a safe place if she's baking. But for the days she's not baking, she likes wearing a few rings at a time, she doesn't care if it's gold or silver. She’s not a fan of necklaces, but she almost always wears her matching locket that she has with her mom. She owns a few bracelets and always goes back and forth between them. 

makeup: Heather's day to day makeup is usually just some light concealer, some mascara, eyeliner, lipgloss/lipstick, she likes to keep it very light. But on days where she wants to wear more, she likes doing some highlighter, eyeshadow, and sometimes her eyebrows! 

sexuality: bisexual 

health issues?  heather has severe anemia 

ꪆ୧ FAVORITES .ᐟ

food(s): tortellini, carrots, asparagus, steak 

drink(s): hot chocolate, coffee, ice tea, lemonade, dr pepper 

color(s): earth tones, pinks, yellow 

animal(s): dogs, cats, bears, horses (literally all animals) 

bands and artist: ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, florence + the machine, faye webster, beach boys, five seconds of summer

show(s): gilmore girls, yellowstone, outer range, gossip girl 

movie(s): nightmare before christmas, princess diaries, lord of the rings, harry potter 

person: joe and luke 

ꪆ୧ BACKGROUND .ᐟ

heather and alongside her older twin brother jack – by 18 minutes, were born on a bright and sunny monday. 

heather was 6 when she first made her first cake by herself, she often helped her mother in the kitchen and that made her realize her love for baking. 

when Heather was 7 she started figure skating, quitting when she was 17. She was naturally talented at the sport and could have gone pro, but that’s not what she wanted to do in life, 

in elementary school heather was in her first school musical, finding her love for singing. 

heather graduated high school at 16 

from age 17 – 19 (2019 – 2021) heather lived in Vancouver with quinn, for college. 

In January of 2022 Heather moved to Cincinnati, Ohio to fulfill her dream of opening up her bakery/flower shop. 

ꪆ୧ FUN FACTS  .ᐟ

heather started a YouTube channel in 2020 during the pandemic, at first, she only posted baking and singing covers, but she now posts vlogs as well, she has over 6 million subscribers. 

heather has been planning on releasing her first album soon!

heather has modeled a few times

heather along with her two best friends, sophie and elora have a podcast together, it has over 3 million subscribers. 

heather is an extrovert, she's definitely a people person 

heather was very popular in school, having friends in every ‘clique’ 

heather is a very creative artistic person! She loves showing her creativity in everything she does 

heather is a very motherly friend, caring, supportive, comforting, and protective. Not just with her friends but also with her family. 

despite having a busy childhood - teenage life with all her hobbies and studying, she was a very helpful person, helping her neighbors, volunteering, babysitting, or tutoring. 

heather’s two major love languages is physical touch and cooking for people!

heather never does a half ass job. No matter what she's doing, heather is putting in her all! 

heather is extremely close with her family, her family means so much to her, she talks with them everyday

heather had a really bad breakup in early 2021, her and her now ex-boyfriend had been dating since early 2020. At first the relationship was great, but it had turned toxic with the way he was treating heather. Heather was the one to break up with him after he went too far. 

heather had her first relationship when she was 15 for 9 months with her first girlfriend, they still keep in touch with each other. 

heather is easily flustered, something her close friends and family love to tease her about 

heather is very loved by the nhl and nfl world, the fans, media, commentators all love her 

heather was always at the top of all of her classes, she took her education very seriously 

heather obviously has her Bachelor of Science in baking and pastry arts 

besides figure skating and hockey, she is very clumsy with other sports 

heather is only competitive with board games and baking! Other than that, she's not really competitive

her dream is to have a family of her own, she's always wanted to have a son and daughter 

heather was voted for three things in high school, best smile, most creative, and most caring. 

heather loves puzzles, doing them whenever she gets stressed. 

whenever her iron is low (her severe anemia) heather becomes very tired and emotional, she tries to stay cheerful, but you can tell that she’s struggling. 

heather loves shopping! 

Heather loves planning parties and get togethers, she loves getting the people she cares about together and enjoying a great time with them. 

Heather is a very festive person, for every holiday! She loves decorating and dressing up 

Heathers three favorite sports are, hockey, football and f1

lots of people get cuteness aggression with her 

heather has her very own bakery/flower shop called ‘petals n pastries’ 

It's a very warm and homey place, she has a very diverse customer base, from students of all ages, families, people of all ages, etc. But it's mostly college students who order and stay in the bakery. 

The front of the place is where the bakery and seating are held, there is an entrance to the side of the place that leads to the back where there is an outside patio where you can find all the flowers! 

It is a very popular and well-known place despite being a few years old. It's often talked about its delicious pastries, beautiful flowers, the warm and comforting ambiance and the kind and friendly staff. 

Heather never wastes any of the food, donating it to homeless shelters and local food banks, and even fire departments. No flower is wasted as well, donating them to nursing homes, cancer support centers and women shelters. 

Heather is often called a workaholic for how much she works, but she really just loves it, her bakery and flower shop is her dream, and she just wants it to thrive. 

Heather is a chaotic drunk, she always wants to have fun! She’s very giggly and clingy, but she’s the type of drunk that you always have to keep your eye on, because one minute she will be standing there the next she’s climbing something!! she’s definitely the life of the party

heather has three Instagram accounts, her personal one is @/heatherhughes and her private Instagram is @/hattiehughes and her Instagram for her bakery and flower shop is @/PetalsNpastries

Her private twitter, which is basically like her diary, is @/heathhughess

ꪆ୧ POSTS N MORE .ᐟ

heatherhughes just posted !

📍Cincinnati, Ohio 

liked by nicohischier, matthewknies, teehiggins and more

🏷️ soph_carter , joeyb_9

🎵 : suddenly I see - kt tunstall

heatherhughes  ☀️

view all comments 

haileesteinfeld pretty girl 🤩

lahjay10_ joe can definitely see with those big ass glasses 🤣

joeyb_9 bro 😐

heatherhughes BAHAHAH 😭

elorasmithsss cutest girl 😚

elorasmithsss soph really is just cheesing 🤗

heatherhughes our smiley girl 😚

jackhughes please get a dog, I want to live my dog parent life through you 😔

heatherhughes I’m trying to convince Joe 🙏

lhughes_06 snoopy ☹️

heatherhughes he misses you! (pls come visit)

colecaufield oh? back to the guitar era? let’s goooo

heatherhughes my fingers HURT.

_quinnhughes I miss your baking please come back 😪

heatherhughes just my baking?? what about my personality hmm??

justinherbert so I’m gonna need that pie ☝️

heatherhughes I just so happen to be selling that pie…

username the life I want to to live

username her outfits are always so pretty 😵‍💫

username drop joe!!

username how is joe pulling that???

soph_carter the outfits? slaying! the face card? Never declines! 😻

heatherhughes me?? Blushing! 🤭

markSuhhh it’s not fair that my dog loves you more than me :(

heatherhughes no….he loves snoopy more than both of us 😣

joeyb_9 blessing my feed petal 😻

joeyb_9 but why that pic 😭

heatherhughes my handsome nerd 🤓

𝓻oro’s note. oh heather hughes my sunshine girl ☀️ i really hope you guys like her!! she’s so dear to me :( this au is interactive so please send in as many asks as you want!

𝓭ie 𝔀ith 𝓪 𝓼mile m.list

you can find everything for this au under this tag #⭐️ ꞌꞋ ࣪ _ 𝓭ie 𝔀ith 𝓪 𝓼mile 𐙚 . ꒱

˖ ་ taglist : @winterbarnesblog @toasttt11 @iceflwers @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs

©️WINTFLEUR ; you can't copy, translate, reproduce, repost my fic, use my plot or layout.

[ipegchangbin]

I HHAVE TO SO MUCH BOY PUSSY THOUGHTS BUT LIKE IM SHAKING AND ESOC DHD OGMGG right but what are you thoughts on fem!skz???? uz the brainrot has been getting to me and i personally believe there just arent ENOUGH fem!skz like whaat happened to the pussy? the cunt? THE PUM PUM

sorry. i loved your drabble though and just your work in general and im not kidding when i say that wehn i saw you actually answered my request and then saw said request on my dashboard thingy I LITERALLY PUT MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND WAS YAYAYAYAYA!?!?!?!

URE RIGHT LIKEEE WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PUMPUMHDSJJDJSNS

💗 nsfw fem!skz thoughts

🏷️ fem!skz, gn!reader, smut smut smut

— bang chan

chan’s beautiful, bubbly, a little busty with a big butt. she’s everything you would want in a girl: a giggly lady with a pretty body. she’s very preppy, a little clingy once you two get together, but in bed? she’s a blushing mess! she loves when you chat her up only to talk her down, let her babble several flavors of nonsense and moan with that sweet curly accent of hers. her dimples show every time she clenches her jaw in pleasure. chan loves getting herself off on your fingers, riding them, even just grinding on them through her clothed cunt…and she loves when you make her feel a little dirty about it. her butt is the plumpest, it feels good to grope and massage, and best of all — it gets red when she blushes! chan is a giggly girl who’s heavenly to play with.

— minho

a competitive peer turned blunt best friend turned snappy girlfriend, minho’s the prettiest yet sharpest lady you’ve ever come across. she loves keeping things traditional, making you court her to even get a glimpse of her reciprocated love, but when she fell back for you it was all worth it. minho loves to keep half of her long hair up in a bun while the rest flows down past her shoulders, framing her beautiful body against the kitchen counters as she whips you up your favorite meal. a few hours after dinner, you have her over the same counter, fucking her cunt well. she loves to moan your name and make you feel how much she loves you. she gets wet so easily when you moan back, when you tell her you adore her. you figure that she tastes better than her own cooking.

— changbin

what’s not to love about changbin? she was love at first sight turned the love of your life. you fell for the way she looked with her love handles, tummy, and big breasts, and as soon as she spoke to you, it was all real. she’s gentle and kind, offering to help you with whatever work you need. changbin gets very shy when you abandon your work and grab her by the hips and breasts instead. she wears her curly hair long and down and the curtains match the drapes: she has the bush of a lifetime. secretly loves it whenever you’re between her thighs or all up in her cleavage smelling her after her workouts, all before going to town and fucking her ever so sweetly. she’s a muscle mommy who calls you mommy. oh, and changbin in an evening dress—the ones that hug her form, accentuating her belly and toned ass—is a sight to see. she’s absolutely obsessed with lovemaking after her shower. a clean and fresh woman, she’ll take every bit of your body worship before your dates to heart.

— hyunjin

she’s the classiest lady you’ve ever met. always does herself up, wears the prettiest makeup, and always fixes her hair in the middle of your dates. she smells heavenly; it’s french cologne mixed with a bit of your after-sex musk. hyunjin always finds herself getting fucked every time she’s with you, and you don’t know if it’s her irresistible energy or the fact that she’s needier than you. and when the dates reach past midnight, she only becomes cinderella in a way that she takes you home with her, designer clothes to the floor, revealing even more expensive lingerie underneath. class, elegance, all that demure shit flies out of the window as soon as you’re working your mouth on her petite boobs. when it’s all done, she glows in your arms and embraces you, kissing you all over with sweet words between her lips. she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

— han jisung

han’s a charming woman who’s a bit of a geek. she’s a self-deemed loser, but so incredibly far from the doozy girl she claims to be. you don’t mind her armpit hair, her layered cut, and the leg hair she never wants to shave: she’s charming and attractive for that. firmly believes in having her nips out and it’s so cute of her. jisung is very carefree, and it extends to the sex too. she secretly likes it when you cuddle yet feel her up. she loves it when you sneak your hand under your shorts. she loves it when you’re being nonchalant and casual, eating her out while she’s watching a movie, moaning and whining slightly while all dazed. you hum and call her beautiful, the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen, and it does something to her. maybe she’s a bit of a perverted girl too, getting off on your compliments when you’re gone and out of her room.

— felix

a girl’s girl through and through. she loves you very much but there are many reasons why you love her more. she has everything on her: need chapstick? it’s either she pulls one out of her magic tote bag — or she kisses you! need a pen? she’ll even write for you! need to eat her out? she’ll spread her legs before you even blink! she’s always happy and smiley even if you’re playing with her freckled pussy. you tell her that she’s pretty when she smiles, making her grin even more. felix always has her hair done in different crazy styles, but always up whenever she wants to return the favor on you. adores you whenever you catch her out of breath from your fingers and mouth alone. you always kiss every one of her freckles, even the ones near her clit to tease her — and every single time, she falls harder and harder in love with you.

— seungmin

if there was any lady who matched you best, she’d be seungmin. she’s blunt with her words but she means well whenever she talks to you. it was a surprise the first time she asked for sex, simply letting honesty take over and let her know that she wanted you. loves talking you up even if you’re going down on her. she never shaves nor trims her bush, and you find her smirk so attractive every time you find her clit. all that snarky attitude dissolves as soon as you kiss further into her clit, teasing her ass and playing with the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. she’s kind of obsessed with the way you show her own cum in your mouth. gets even more delirious when you tug on her short hair and tell her dirty compliments. she feels the most like a woman when you work your way with her — just make sure to take her out on a date and pay the bill right after.

— jeongin

jeongin’s a lady who never backs down from an adventure. from exploring the outdoors to exploring each other’s bodies, she’s an open woman who doesn’t hesitate to love you right. she’s wild in many senses: you’ve fucked while alone in public once. it’s her spirit that charms you most, you think as you pound into her ass — her request. she’s sweet and very talkative, telling you all about the kinky shit she wants to do the later in night while curling her hair for work. jeongin loves being pampered and pampering you back. she wears your favorite sets of lingerie, or if you prefer it, wears nothing at all when you get home to her. she gets deliciously needy every time you play with her nipples out of nowhere. but even after all the adventures, her cunt might as well be your home.

[alottiegoingon]

hc!friends to lovers

lottie matthews x fem!reader

summary: going from friends to lovers with lottie

warnings: lottie mentioned as lesbian once, pure fluff, nsfw at the bottom so MDNI there, not proofread

this was a request so i hope you enjoy it 🤞

@l0tt1emy this is me tagging youu

WHEN FRIENDS

୨୧ being friends with lottie matthews would include spend your saturday night on her huge house (more like a mansion to you) when her parents were out for work or just so busy that they wouldn't even notice you there

୨୧ you didn't know that, but she would spend the entire day thinking about you when it was a sleepover night

୨୧ sleepovers would be a casual thing for you and it was your favorite moment of the day cause lottie would turn it into a fashion show to model her new clothes for you

୨୧ speaking of it, you would constantly find yourself waiting in fitting rooms and their uncomfortable seats when lottie was trying on thousands of clothes just to buy (steal) one or two

୨୧ "do you think it looks too pink?" lottie comes out from behind the curtains to display the outfit she was trying on, featuring a fluffy pink cropped cardigan with short sleeves paired with a high-waisted, pink skirt that features vertical stripes

୨୧ "no, you look perfect," you say softly, eyes filled with affection while feeling a nervous flutter stirs in your stomach

୨୧ in parties, you would usually stick to her side and even though lottie wasn't extremely popular, people knew who she was. either because her parents had loads of money or cause, let's be honest, she fucking was stunning

୨୧ when offering to get her a drink and she would look at you with those pretty eyes and nod like "okay :)))"

୨୧ if you were part of the yellowjackets, during jackie's idea of telling the girls what you admire about them, you would DEF make her blush on purpose

୨୧ "lottie matthews..." you say lightheartedly and she's already screaming internally "you have the prettiest hair i’ve ever seen and a great fashion sense. and, yeah, you suck at french but you are so good at soccer and you have the biggest and kindest heart ever"

୨୧ and she's giggling and nervously rocking from side to side with her cheeks matching the color of her clothes

୨୧ lottie was a lonely kid and since her parents were always away, she would be taken care of by maids and housekeepers so she was easily anxious when speaking to people her age. luckyfor her, she would hide it quite well and the mean and cutesy lesbian in her would mask it greatly

୨୧ "does someone want to tell kelly kapowski to maybe worry less about prom and more about not fսcking up nationals?" lottie was mumbling in front of the mirror, fixing her bangs and makeup and you were ready to agree with anything she said

୨୧ "i know right?" but you didn't even know what kelly kapowski had said

୨୧ putting her money to good use, one of her favorite ways to show you how grateful she was for your friendship was to buy you things. not like once or twice but ALL. THE. TIME.

୨୧ books, vhs tapes of your favorite movies, vinyl, a cute dress you mentioned once, nice shoes, stuffed animals, things that reminded her of you. all you can possibly think of!!!

୨୧ "lot, you didn't have to. this must have cost a fortune!" and it's just her standing at your front door, hidden behind a huge teddy bear she bought for your birthday and a brand new walkman

୨୧ one night, when lottie's parents were home, she sneaked you in and you almost fell to your death when climbing the walls like fucking spider-man and getting to her room through the window but her perfume lingering around made everything worthy when she hugged you

୨୧ "thank you for coming, i know it's late," she lies in bed and tap the empty space beside her for you to join her. "it's okay, i was just watching a movie. i'm glad you called me"

୨୧ 'movie’ you said, but the flashback of you sleeping buried under the covers and snoring like an old guy comes to your mind...

୨୧ i feel like lottie would have a hard time opening up to people and letting them in but if they were genuine, she would trust them. but def insecure about telling you about her visits to the psychiatrist cause we all know she's just a silly girl with a few issues...

୨୧ but you were so respectful, reassuring and understanding to her that she doesn't feel ashamed or judged

୨୧ during that specific night when you were just hanging around together in her bed and talking about life, an accidental graze of her nose on yours led to an awkward moment that led to awkward giggles and an awkward and messy kiss and this was all you needed to call her your girlfriend

WHEN DATING

୨୧ even when dating, lottie would often feel insecure and ask you for help. reassuring her and telling her that there she wasn't broken and there was nothing wrong with her was something you always had to do but it didn't bother you at all. you were lottie's biggest worshiper and could spend hours just telling her how BADLY you loved her

୨୧ hear me out. lottie was a big fan of holding hands. you could be in class, watching a movie, reading together, talking with your group of friends, and even eating, but she was ALWAYS staring at you with pleading eyes and her palm facing up, extended in your direction, ready for you to hold her hand

୨୧ if you think she spoiled you too much already, you better take a seat cause that girl would show up at your place with presents all the time. "i know we agreed on saving money but i know how badly you wanted these..." you're speechless when she gives you something you really wanted

୨୧ but you can't get mad, you just thank her and kiss her adorable pout :(

୨୧ loves loves LOVES to give you small gifts as well like a pretty shell she found when going to the beach once or even her ENTIRE shell collection

୨୧ strongly believe that she would be the greatest big spoon ever and would love to cuddle you but doesn’t complain if you want to hold her

୨୧ lottie is TALL. a three would be afraid of her! im 100% convinced that she would put your stuff in a place you can't reach so you have to ask her for help. "baby, are you busy? can you get that for me?" and she's fighting demons to maintain her composure, resisting the urge to smile as she handles you the book she had just tucked away on the top shelf

୨୧ over protective lottie!!! she isn’t exactly jealous cause she trusted you a lot but is always around and keeping you in her sight. she has her arm around you all the time, drives you EVERYWHERE (makes her driver do that), and is always ready to defend you

୨୧ oh the many things that happened in the backseat that the poor driver had to ignore...

୨୧ if the crash had happened, one single mumble of yours about how hungry you were was ENOUGH for her to call nat and travis out. "lottie, there's no food. we looked everywhere!" "look harder!"

NSFW (MDNI)

୨୧ lottie spoils you with cute gifts but she’s not innocent. she would buy you the prettiest lingerie in the store just to fuck you in those 🤭

୨୧ she would adore when you face ride her. she just can’t resist to your moans and soft noises or how you feel so shy and dirty about it but just can’t stop. she loves to feel your legs around her face

୨୧ in fact, i’m a strong believer that she could just cum by hearing you moan her name. you can’t believe your eyes when you feel her nails dig into your thighs and lottie desperately closing her legs and rubbing them together, groaning into your pussy :(

୨୧ big fan of overstimulating you!!! holding your hips to keep you riding her face or her strap if she’s under you or rubbing your clit even after you made a mess on her fingers just to watch you squirm and cry for her 🤓

୨୧ i’ve mentioned this before BUT fucking you against a mirror in dressing rooms? she’s all in. even better if she’s fucking you from behind with a strap AND forcing you look at your messy and humiliating reflection in the mirror

୨୧ now when it comes to her, she loves when you suck her but keep your eyes on hers. eye contact is!!!! her fingers go crazy in your hair, pulling and holding so tight that it hurts but you don’t give a damn about it

୨୧ she wouldn't ever say no but she prefers to have her time with you instead of quickies. im a lottie hopeless romantic truther!!!

୨୧ i feel like she's not really loud when you're eating her out or fucking her, she just moans your name and lets lots of soft, weak and breathy noises and whimpers out 😵‍💫

[rosiestalez]

LOVELY PLEASE. I need some Gambit angst. The angst where Gambit loves Rogue and he will never love you like he does her. I NEED IT. I NEED TO CRY.

Oh my gosh, y’all just LOVE angst dont y’all. I was working on something like this request before i got it, and i’m glad i finished this! Maybe i’ll make a part two to this! i have a good amount of requests and i’m getting them as quickly as i can thank you for understanding!

The Rules of the Game

Remy LeBeau x gn!reader

summary: Remy tells you something after 1 year of marriage!

warnings: ANGSTY ASF, cursing, a lot of alcohol is mentioned, i think that’s it. Picture from Pinterest

Happy reading 🫶

——————————————————————

It’s a rainy night; the soft sound of rain knocks on the windows, creating a gentle rhythm that fills the quiet house. The book in your hands is illuminated by the warm glow of the fire Remy lit before heading downstairs to play poker with his friends. The crackle of the fire mixes with the faint laughter rising from the basement, but the peaceful ambiance begins to fade as you hear the unmistakable sound of Remy stumbling upstairs, clearly drunk.

The kitchen cupboards bang open and shut, and you can hear him muttering curses in French under his breath.

“You okay, darlin’?” you call out from the couch, pushing your glasses up your nose. You turn away from your book, your gaze lingering on the kitchen. “Need some help?”

“I’m good, cherie, just tryna fin' my liquor,” he slurs in response, his words thick with alcohol.

Sighing, you reluctantly get up from your cozy spot and stroll into the kitchen. Without a word, you pull a brand-new bottle of Jack Daniel’s from the pantry and hand it to him.

“Oh, mon cherie, thank ya! You’re too kind to me!” he says, kissing your forehead clumsily before snatching the bottle from your hand and disappearing back downstairs. You roll your eyes, shaking your head at his drunken gratitude, and return to the couch, diving back into your book.

As the night wears on, the fire begins to dim, and the laughter from below grows louder, echoing through the house. You glance at the clock—almost 1 a.m. Deciding it’s time to call it a night, you snuff out the fire and finish the last sip of your wine. Heading upstairs to the bedroom, you strip out of your clothes, tossing them into the hamper, and slip on a silk purple nightdress. The plush sheets of your California King bed welcome you, and you soon drift off.

Hours later, the mattress dips beside you, pulling you from your sleep. You glance at the clock: 3:00 a.m. With a sigh, you feel Remy’s arm wrap around you, pulling you close.

“Rem—”

“Shhh, go back to sleep. I ain’t mean to wake you up, amour,” he whispers, kissing the back of your neck as he brushes your hair out of the way.

“You’re makin’ it kinda hard, sugar,” you reply, letting your Southern accent lace the words with frustration.

“Sorry, jus’ miss you… you didn’t come down to see me.”

“My bad. My book was really good,” you chuckle lightly, though deep down, your thoughts are elsewhere. You can’t shake the discomfort of knowing Rogue, the woman who broke Remy’s heart, is downstairs playing cards. But you decide to save that for when he’s sober. “Good night, Rem.”

You try to let go of the irritation, but it lingers as your meemaw’s words echo in your mind: *Never let the sun go down on your anger, darling.*

The sun is already creeping through the curtains when the sound of vomiting startles you awake. “Damn it,” you mutter, pulling yourself out of bed. In the bathroom, you find Remy pathetically bent over the toilet, retching out the remnants of the previous night.

“Baby? You okay?” you ask gently. He gives you a weak thumbs-up, still hunched over the toilet. You hurry to the kitchen, grab an ice pack, and place it on the back of his neck, holding his auburn hair out of the way. “That’s it, get it all out,” you murmur, rubbing his back in comforting circles.

After several minutes, you help him into a cool shower, washing his hair and handing him an aspirin along with an anti-nausea pill. Once he’s cleaned up, he brushes his teeth and joins you in the living room, squinting dramatically at the light as if it were torture.

As the two of you stand across from each other in the kitchen, you can feel the tension brewing. He knows something’s on your mind, but he waits, sensing the storm coming.

“Why was she here?” you finally ask, your voice tight with emotion.

“Who?” he responds, though there’s a hint of annoyance in his tone.

“Rogue. Why… was… she… here?” you ask again, hugging your arms to your chest. A flicker of sadness crosses your face, but it quickly hardens into something more.

He sighs heavily, running a hand over his face, clearly frustrated. The two of you had been married for about a year now, ever since Rogue left him at the altar. You had been his solace, the one who helped him pick up the pieces of his broken heart. But sometimes, it still felt like you were competing with a ghost.

“Y/N, please, not today,” he says softly.

“Not today?” you huff, your sadness turning into anger. “What the hell do you mean, ‘not today’?” Your voice takes on the sharp edge of your Georgia accent. “Remy, is there something you need to tell me? Did you sleep with her?”

He looks at you incredulously, as if the accusation is absurd. “Y/N, I’m not sleepin’ with her. Oh mon Dieu!” His frustration is palpable as he walks away, grabbing his shoes and the jacket hanging by the door.

“Remy, where are you going?” you shout after him, your anger boiling over.

“Out,” he says flatly, slamming the door behind him.

“Shit,” you mutter, slapping the door with your palm before storming off to the bedroom. You throw yourself onto the bed, eyes welling with tears. Clutching his pillow, you sob into it, your heart aching. *What is he not telling me?* The tears come in waves—anger, jealousy, sadness, all tumbling out uncontrollably. His scent lingers on the pillow, and for a fleeting moment, you consider tearing it to shreds. But you can’t. Despite everything, your heart still swells with love for him.

Eventually, exhaustion overtakes you, and you fall into a fitful sleep, alone in the bed you share with him.

Hours later, the sound of the door creaking open pulls you from sleep. You hear it close softly behind him, the house trembling slightly. Glancing at the clock, you see it’s noon.

You wipe the tear stains from your cheeks and gather the strength to get out of bed. After rinsing your face, you make your way downstairs to find Remy sitting on the couch, whiskey in hand, soft jazz playing from the TV. His eyes are fixed on the dark screen.

“Rem, I’m s—”

He cuts you off, patting the spot beside him. “Sit,” he says quietly. His gaze burns into you as you take your place on the couch, pulling the blanket over yourself for warmth. The room feels cold—colder than usual.

“Mon amour, we gotta talk, like adults, yeah?” You nod, unable to speak, afraid the dam will break again if you do. He hands you a glass of wine that’s already sitting on the table, waiting for you.

“I can’t love you the way I loved Anna-Marie,” he says, his tone serious. The words hit you like a punch to the gut. Your body goes rigid, heat rising in your chest as you struggle to understand.

“W-what?” you manage to squeak, the words barely escaping your lips.

“We had somethin’ for years,” he continues.

Your eyes flick to the wedding band on his finger, then to yours, and back again. “Then why did you marry me?” you ask, your voice trembling.

“Because I love you,” he says, placing his hand on yours, trying to reassure you.

“This doesn’t make sense, Remy.” A tear slips down your cheek. “I’m so confused.”

“I can’t help my feelings, cherie. Feelings are feelings. I can’t change that.”

“Yes, you can,” you sob. “Remy, you’re the only man I’ve ever loved. I could never even *think* of having feelings for anyone from my past and then marrying you out of convenience.”

“Cherie, I didn’t marry you out of convenience,” he pleads.

“Then why did you marry me?” you ask, your voice cracking. The tears flow freely now, and your heart feels as if it’s being ripped apart.

Remy sees the pain in your swollen, red eyes. He knows he’s broken something precious.

“Y/N, I—”

“No, don’t you dare,” you interrupt, pointing a finger at him. You stand up abruptly, storming to the bathroom and slamming the door behind you. Sliding down against the door, you cry into your knees, your body trembling with the weight of it all.

*What does this mean for us?* you wonder. *How do we move forward? Can we even fix this?*

[afreakingdork]

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 20 - Finale

RotTMNT x Reader

And here we have @sheep-turtles-and-pizza with the final chapter art that pretty much encapsulates the fic, dont'cha think?

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis:  You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

I want to take a moment and acknowledge what today has been like. For many of us, it has been unending hours of shock, rage, and terror. It feels weird, in a way, to post this now, but at the same time I can't help but want a bit of normalcy. I'm hoping a dash of light and hope might be a comfort and if not, I understand, but I still present the finale of the fic I've worked so hard on.

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

He could do this.

With his phone alarm blaring, Mikey fought his lids.

He had to get up. If it wasn’t for this alarm, then he needed to before the next. He had been the one to set them in order of growing and grating noises, but that didn’t make it any easier. With little thought he hung there in stasis and listened to the first chime time out. There was exactly five minutes to the next, but he didn’t care to count. Instead his mind slipped and brought him closer to a dream when the second blare scared his lids up.

With the curtain drawn that meant it was time to move.

It came with liquid limbs which he threw without mercy.

They weren’t asleep so when one banged the wall, he was forced to wilt in weary pain. He brought his wrist, the wounded soldier, back home, and held it to his chest. He allowed it to rest there for the duration of the war which he traveled in leagues to the bathroom.

A splash of ice water to the face took him the rest of the way to wakefulness.

He preened after that, washing up and fixing his hair. He’d need it out of his face for the day and secured for the antics that would ensue. That meant extra fixing and Raph soon wandered in where Mikey had left the door open. The larger acknowledged the challenge his little brother was facing and brushed his teeth off to the side, giving Mikey the full span of the mirror.

Spitting became the real issue and Mikey refused to give up real estate. With Raph’s size though, there would be no victory, so Mikey took to the air. It meant the older brother ducked down to drink from the tap and Mikey got his last lock in place just before the other came up. It perched the younger brother on his older’s shoulders and they rode together to the kitchen.

Donnie was there facing the coffee pot with shut eyes as it spat and churned bean juice.

Greetings were exchanged with grunts and Mikey floated down to his feet to take up meal duty. This was his moment of zen and his favorite part of his morning routine. His mind immediately shut off and he only moved through the memorized motions.

Preheat pan.

Eggs.

Butter.

Gently melt.

Crack as needed.

Whisk.

Season.

Cook.

Mikey could make omelets in his sleep.

He might have done so once or twice if he trusted his brother’s stories.

He still wasn’t sold.

Going for a classic and simple French-style today, he dished up four of a normal size and one enormous one.

Donnie picked the crispest fold.

Leo sauntered in and grabbed the one with the most chives sprinkled atop.

Raph got the behemoth choice.

Mikey divided his portion into bites first and allowed his dad’s to cool for storage until whenever he woke.

They ate with minimal conversation that mostly related to the day.

“They’re gonna be fighting.” Leo pointed with his fork.

“How can they be fighting about the same thing, again?” Raph pressed, still chewing.

“Give me the count, D.” Leo turned to his fellow middle child.

“The visor versus sunhat debacle has played out twelve times that we know of.”

“Today is the baker’s dozen!” Leo tried to fold Mikey in with a glance.

Mikey raised his hands off the matter.

“A baker’s dozen!” Leo didn’t seem deterred and tried with a different connotation towards Raph.

“That doesn’t mean it’s a pattern!” Raph rolled his eyes.

“‘That doesn’t mean it’s a-’” Leo mocked before turning toward Donnie. “Do the stats, stats man!”

“I both relish and resent that you use me for data.” Donnie quipped and rolled his eyes over to Leo. “As little as two events establish a pattern with more solidifying.”

“They don’t keep having the same fight!” Raph cleaned his plate first.

Leo threw his hands out to Raph and sent his disgust at Donnie.

Donnie commiserated with a tip of his head.

“What’s that!?” Raph banged his plate.

Leo took his last bite and hopped to his feet. “Nothing, brodeo.”

“That ain’t nothing!” Raph frowned with his hands on his hips.

Donnie scooped his last bite and Leo stole his plate before he got it to his mouth. “Excuse you!”

“It’s too early for this!” Leo chirped and rounded past the sink without depositing his load. “Michael?”

“Not done!” Mikey had been carefully sectioning off bites to make it last.

If he kept eating then he didn’t have to move again.

He wasn’t quite awake yet which he would admit was his fault. He knew today had been coming up for a few months now, but he neglected to get his sleep schedule in line. The night before he had been nagged about his movie’s start time, but it was hard to battle the urge when he was in the mood for a particular one. His attention was fleeting enough that he usually chose to listen.

Which was something he should have been doing then because he had missed quite a bit of the current conversation while he was ruminating about his mistakes.

“Right now! You’re doing it right now!” Leo was flapping a hand at Raph.

“I do not! Donnie, tell him!”

“Two dost make a pattern…” Donnie petered off.

“Dost nothing!” Raph bumped Donnie’s chair.

“Alright, alright…” Mikey left his last quarter of his omelet and got to his feet. “How about that coffee?”

“Almost…” Donnie held up a finger and everyone paused.

The last few drips fell and the pot registered as full with a blink of a light over to a warming plate.

“Done.” Donnie spun and lifted out of his seat in a perfect rotation.

“Coffee.” Mikey reiterated and moved past to pat both Raph and Leo’s shells.

There were relenting grunts and mugs were split.

Donnie took his to-go in a thermos of his own making and departed with words of packing.

Leo sipped a mug loudly on purpose which summoned a growl from Raph.

Mikey gestured for Raph to drink.

The oldest almost did before he remembered cream and sugar and went for that.

The moment he was gone, Mikey shot Leo an irritated look.

Leo raised his hands as if he held no blame.

Mikey narrowed his eyes.

Leo tried to exaggerate his pose, but his coffee sloshed and dripped onto him. “Dang it! Come on!”

“That’s what you get.” Mikey spoke proudly.

Leo sneered and repeated the line. “I didn’t like this shirt anyway!”

“Liar, you picked it out last week.” Raph rose with an oversized mug to his lips.

“For shame! Picking on your brother like that!” Leo scoffed with his entire form.

Raph cocked his brow ridge.

Leo fled immediately with excuses on his lips about needing to get a detergent pen.

“You good?” Mikey checked on the oldest.

Raph said nothing and only gurgled with a thickened honey as he drank down his coffee.

Mikey gave the oldest’s arm a squeeze before he went in search of his phone. The object had been left behind due to its relation with alarms. It sat dutifully still plugged in and Mikey allowed unplugging to wake the screen. There were already a litany of messages from you lined and he tabbed through them lazily.

He penned replies and hobbled back to the kitchen where he’d forgotten to put dad’s omelet up. Raph had left so it was a tug of plastic wrap before it was lovingly slammed into the fridge with a sweet orange note applied. The fridge door closed and Mikey puzzled over what he had forgotten. It took a full rotation of his body to find his coffee and that it was now lukewarm. His tongue lolled out at the temperature and he dumped it.

Microwaving such things was sacrilege and Mikey instead messaged you asking about beverages.

You had a list seemingly ready for him and he smiled at it while saying you should take your pick.

Your response bubble disappeared and he could see you dropping everything to scroll the presumably tiny menu on mobile.

He could see you struggling with the page’s optimization and he shook his head.

Mikey would say he couldn’t believe how much he loved you, but that was patently wrong.

He knew the exact lengths.

He walked them one step at a time while holding your hand.

He treasured those times.

They also felt like something from a million years ago even though it had at most been a year.

Or maybe more.

Mikey wasn’t that great at dates outside of birthdays, but that was because he’d set reminders.

He should set another one and fiddled over to the calendar only to forget when he saw Piebald’s birthday coming up.

He already had a gift, but her party was one that split his attention.

You would be there too.

His best friend in the whole world.

Probably soon to be in-law with that recent geology expedition Donnie had gone on.

Rocks usually bored him to tears so the connection made sense.

You would say yes.

You would become family.

You would always be more.

You held a place in his heart that no one else dared get close to.

He had fallen in one love and then into another with you.

He was forever grateful and more so that you would always be by his side.

You responded back with your drink order and an updated file that Mikey didn’t bother opening. The last time he tried the text was so microscopic that it made a mockery of some online menu board. You would explain it to him when you met up anyway and he already knew the basics. You were overprepared and that was your normal song and dance. You would fret and he would find a way to make the day’s plans even better.

Assured, Mikey’s phone chirped with a new message and it was Leo’s final boarding call.

Realizing then that he had done nothing else to prepare, he made a literal hop, skip, and jump across the lair and back into his room. He placed himself in the dead center of it and took one deep breath before his ninpo charged. He was then off like a rocket, doing calculated slips through space to grab everything.

Comfy shorts for walking.

Cool vintage tank top he found to stay cool.

Fanny pack in a blinding color so he wouldn’t lose his belongings.

No hat because his hair was already done.

A lather of Donnie’s special sunscreen that was matched for his exact pigment.

A pair of sunglasses that he planned on losing.

He came to a halt and flicked off residual orange sparks totally ready to leave.

“How’s that for prep work!?”

The room didn’t respond.

“Exactly!” Mikey whooped and spun out of his room.

He continued to do twirls all the way until he reached the TV room where Splinter was groggily looking up at Donnie.

“There are thrill rides in New York!” His dad scoffed and flapped his hands.

“Not like these.” Donnie tried to reason with him.

Splinter made a disgruntled noise.

Mikey jumped over to him. “Omelette in the fridge, daddio!”

“Thank you, orange.” Splinter held his head up for a kiss.

Mikey obliged him. “Where’s Leo? Didn’t he say it was time to go?”

“I did.” Leo’s voice drifted in from the side. “And I perfectly timed how late you would be.”

“And didn’t bother to tell anyone else.” Donnie folded his arms.

“Pattern.” Raph grunted.

“Okay that was funny like an hour ago, but I’m over it being a whole day thing.” Leo cocked a hip.

“Another pattern!” Raph held out his arms in accusation.

“That was my point-!” Leo threw up his hands to stop himself. “Nope. Breaking the cycle!”

A beat of silence went through the room.

Raph didn’t take the bait and only looked over at Leo.

Leo shined him an honest smile.

Raph gave him a nod that said this version of apology was acceptable.

“Alright! Now that that’s over, choo-choo! Leo train is now boarding. Please line up single file. That’s hands and feet inside the line at all times. Some universal mishaps possible so try to keep within the portal’s boundary, please and thank you!” Leo moved to an open space and manifested a sword.

Donnie led the line behind him.

“Have fun wasting time with your loopsie loops! The premium entertainment is right here!” Splinter rubbed the remote against his cheek.

A few affectionate goodbyes were tossed and Mikey joined to be last in line.

“Three total stops, and here-!” Leo sliced a portal that went straight into April’s apartment.

Everyone stepped through in a continuous line as if they weren’t walking straight through miles of land and two people were added to the queue.

“We-!” The next portal cut through your apartment.

You joined in line with a wave.

“Go!” The last blue disk sent the now larger group to an amusement park’s gates. “Thank you for riding the Leo Express, we knew you had a great trip so do send over that five star review as soon as possible!”

Everyone warbled out of the rigid placement and reformed in a circle.

This was it.

Everything would devolve into that Hamato chaos from here.

Mikey smiled at the prospect.

Raph was the first to break with a barely withheld snort.

“Sing it, big guy!” April crooned.

“Don’t… you… dare…” Casey lowered her posture and prepared to launch herself if necessary.

The barest twitter emerged from Raph who had lifted to his full height and was fighting strain with all of it.

April bounced behind Casey’s back. “What’s it look like!? How about now!? You see it, you say it!”

“O’Neil…!” Casey threatened.

“You look like an old timey lamp in human form!” Raph blurted out.

April cackled and cut through the circle to laugh against the oldest brother. “I asked if she was going to share her poker chips!”

That garnered more giggles.

“Fools!!!” Casey hissed and threw up a defensive finger.

“Watch out, s-she’s gonna have to recount the m-money!” April barely managed.

Raph slapped April’s back so hard she fell over.

Casey stormed straight towards Mikey.

Mikey assumed the position and was immediately held up in display.

“Look at this one! Pathetic! He has no cranial protection at all and the covering for his eyes impedes his vision! My superior visor blocks UV, reduces eye strain, and will not be lost in our conquest of delights!!” Casey shook Mikey so hard his sunglasses came off.

He chuckled all the way in leaning down to pick them up. “I’m team sunscreen.”

“Sunscreen!?!” Casey threw him up into the air.

Mikey altered his trajectory with a kick of his foot and landed by Leo. “You put on sunscreen, right?”

“You cannot put sunscreen on your eyes!!” Casey seethed.

“Huh? Sure. Yeah.” Leo spoke dismissively with his gaze over his shoulder.

“This is a hat versus visor debate!!” Casey stomped at being ignored.

Mikey’s grin grew at the sign of more mischief.

Leo was up to something else entirely.

Mikey bet he stoked the debate fires this morning to throw others off his trail.

Today was shaping up to be extremely entertaining.

Donnie openly thought.

You tacked away with a flurry on your phone, no doubt looking up some park policy about the recommended sun protection.

“Goggles is team visors, don’t try to ‘hotdog is a sandwich’ your way outta this one!” April shouted.

“They are their own category!!” Donnie bristled.

Casey rushed Donnie. “Join me!! With your brain and my all around balanced skill chart, we shall make the hat wearers rue the day they trifled with secure headwear!”

“No. I’d rather not.” Donnie speed walked out the way.

Casey chased after him. “Give in!!”

Donnie went straight for Leo.

Leo had to double take before he realized Casey was now heading towards him. “Wait, no! I’m not part of this!”

In a speedy grapple, Donnie and Leo fought over Leo’s bag.

Donnie came out victorious with a pair of blue rimmed sunglasses that he slammed onto Leo’s beak.

“A turncoat!” Donnie exclaimed before sidestepping toward Mikey.

“You fiend!” Casey caught the loops of Leo’s tank top before he could run. “As leader you should be setting an example!”

“Of dork-i-tude? I think not!” Leo’s sunglasses slid down his beak and he looked at Casey dismissively over them.

She shook them straight off of him and yelled so loud her words became unintelligible.

Raph helped April back to her feet where the two were still snickering.

“Was the new sunscreen formulation tolerable?” Donnie leaned against a guard rail and regarded his youngest brother.

“Oh yeah, went on good! No lasting goopy feeling!” Mikey chirped.

“And a hotdog is a sandwich!” Leo clawed Casey off of him and threw her at Raph and April.

The pair squealed as Casey switched to a fighting stance in the air.

“That’s good, I analyzed new products on the market and found-” Donnie droned on.

Mikey pretended he understood anything his brother was saying.

“And meet up squabbles… Check…”

Mikey turned at the comparatively small voice.

It was obviously you and you smiled at your phone before looking up.

You met his eye and your gaze softened.

He returned it.

He needed to ask you about those drinks.

He was about to when you suddenly broke your gaze away.

He watched with a falling smile as you built up determination and took a single step forward.

Your body language read sturdy and your lips parted. “Alright… L-listen up!!!”

It took a bit of tapering, but as each person caught on to the owner of the voice, they all quieted in different forms of awe.

Your eyes didn’t leave your phone, but you didn’t look like you were reading from something. “I thank you all for coming today! It m-means a lot that you would join me! You p-probably already know about my, um… trouble with anxiety. I’ve been working really hard and today is a culmination of breaking that down. I… never thought I’d ever go to an amusement park, let alone leave New York, but I’m here now, t-thanks to each of y-you, so… thank you, truly…”

Your eyes rose in gratitude and everyone shifted with emotion.

April opened her mouth to respond, but your expression shifted to a threatening one.

Again, the group stiffened in surprise.

“That being said… This is my plan!” Phones started to ping around the group, but no one dared go for their device. “You’ve just been sent a copy of today’s itinerary. If you do not follow it, you will be left behind! T-that said, I did a ton of research and took as much into account as I possibly could! I t-think it’s doable…” You checked your phone. “My spiel is done, you now have 15 minutes to look and decide before the g-gates open…”

Hands flew for their phones.

“It really is 15 till…”

“How…?”

“Woah, what…?”

Mikey’s entire body tipped to the side.

He was only one of two people not acting on your instruction.

You had returned to checking something on your phone and swipes of your pupils said you were moving things around.

Mikey looked around.

“We’re being split up…?” April was sharing her phone between Raph and Casey. “Ride team and prize team…”

“How did pipsqueak know I was going to make the carnies cry?” Casey rubbed her chin.

“You’re not supposed to make them cry! You’re supposed to win cute prizes!” Raph tutted her. 

“Victory tastes sweeter when seasoned with tears.” Casey only nodded appropriately.

“I did only want to do coasters…” April remarked, still studying her device.

Leo chuffed and immediately tried to muffle it.

April caught wind and started scrolling on her phone with purpose before she lit with anger. “Hey! Now, hold on! What’s up with this!?”

Leo pointedly looked away.

“’Leo and April shenanigans!?’ Why do I get moved off the ride rotation?! What does that mean!?” She threw her phone out and walked it into Leo’s face.

“Oh, nothing!” He failed to conceal his laugh. “Y/N wrote it!”

April’s eyes narrowed.

“Leo’s meeting up with someone.”

A few pairs of eyes shot to you, but you were still working.

You gave a sly smile to mostly yourself. “He’s the only one I couldn’t figure out so I asked for his help.”

“Smart move. I would have gone rogue otherwise.” Leo shrugged.

“What’s that got to do with me!?” April rounded on Leo.

“Nothing!” Leo raised his voice and ducked around April in a smooth twirl that sent his mask tails twisting like a graceful pair of ribbons. “Just maybe I have a hot date with someone you just so happened to know and might not approve of…”

“What?! Who!?” April spun around with a low center of gravity to latch onto him if need be.

“Oh, is that the ticket guy!?” Leo skipped away.

“Leo! Leonardo Hamato, you get your ass back here right now! Who!?” April chased after him.

“I’m kinda glad…” Raph pressed his fingers together. “Takes the stress offa trying to get on the rides with the weight limit and all… Y/N even scheduled me tram time. How’d you know?”

You gave a slight wiggle at the praise, but didn’t respond.

“It is rigid, yet a lethal plan of attack.” Casey smacked her phone approvingly. “I may have to reevaluate your position in my ranking board of weakness if the outcome is favorable.”

Leo laughed loudly as he dodged April in the parking lot.

Mikey felt like he was out of his mind.

That was it?

You suddenly did something he would have never guessed in a million years and everyone only cared for a few minutes’ tops.

This was more than your progress.

This was something completely new.

It made no sense.

In a slow swivel, Mikey looked at the only other person who had yet to move.

Donnie was right next to him and lounging against the rail he was leaning on.

On his face was an expression that was nothing less than love struck.

“My nova…” Donnie mooned quietly. “Ever expanding destruction. Stunning.”

He then moved over to you and it was only for him that you parted your attention.

You shared your screen with him and he curled around, not quite touching you, to take it in with all his adoration.

Mikey was still leagues away.

His limbs felt clunky as he went for his phone.

There at the top of his notifications was your itinerary. It was clearly labeled and he clicked on it. The day was laid out before him in exact measure. There were blank fields ready to be filled in with approximate ride wait times. As soon as entry to the park was granted, the tables were divided into two clear columns for those who sought thrills and those who preferred less stomach churning activities. Along with scheduled drink and bathroom breaks, the snack segments were drop down lists that had food stand opening times along with full menus.

One of which was highlighted in orange and was sporting a coffee bar menu.

Mikey shook with a dry laugh.

“Time!” You clapped once and moved straight to the ticket counter with purpose.

You hadn’t purchased the tickets ahead of time, he knew this.

There had been something about an in-park discount. You were the first person in line and ended up buying for the lot with a quick card slip from Leo. Mikey identified that as the Hamato joint account. It had alleviated many petty squabbles. You dutifully went to each person and gave them a ticket like it was the most precious thing in the world.

Mikey accepted and the otherwise boring slip seemed like it glowed in his hand. He tucked it into a particularly safe pocket of his fanny pack as everyone moved inside. There were sounds of interest as soon as you entered the gate. The fracture split the group and there were no hard feelings.

You parted from Donnie with only one solidifying glance.

You two were always like that.

Donnie’s pet names were seemingly the only overtly romantic thing of note. Otherwise, the two of you displayed next to no PDA. It wasn’t just Mikey; Leo had questioned if you two were still dating more than once. It made Donnie furious every time and he declared your relationship was healthier than ever with each prompting. Mikey never saw it as a bad thing, but he could admit his bias. 

Mikey was also closer to you than anyone else. 

He knew your looks and the way you talked about Donnie. 

You were not left romantically wanting and Mikey would bet his existence that you two were in it for the long haul.

It felt like an odd rumination to end on as you left your boyfriend and headed straight towards him instead.

“Ready for that coffee?” You pointed in the direction of where it presumably was.

“Uh, yeah…” Mikey responded dully.

Casey yelled charge and jumped on Raph’s shoulders.

Raph pretended to rear before setting off.

April tugged ruthlessly on Leo’s mask tails and walked with Donnie towards growing metal pyres of rollercoasters.

“You okay…?” You tilted your head. “Need motion sickness meds?”

“No. I just didn’t… What… what team am I on…?” Mikey couldn’t remember where his phone was.

You tapped it where it was sticking out of his fanny pack. “Mine.”

“Yours… being…?”

You took a leading step and he followed after.

“Team duo!” You held up eager fists.

“Duo…?” Mikey pointed between him and you.

“We’re the only o-ones who want to do both!”

“Both…?”

You looked out fondly at the park. “Our special designation. I’m m-making the most of it… I… I’m n-not sure about the whole… coaster… adrenaline junkie thing. I think… I’ve had enough fight or flight for one lifetime, but… you can’t come h-here and not ride a coaster!”

Mikey nodded along.

“We’re d-doing two rides for sure…” You held up two fingers. “The f-fastest one and the o-one you were talking about…”

He thought and got himself a little straighter. “The one that free falls…?”

“Exactly!” You hopped a step.

“Huh…” The corner of his lips quirked.

“My heart’s already racing…!” You squeezed a hand to your chest. “Coffee w-won’t help, I think I’m gonna get something less caffeinated. Tea…? I was thinking tea…”

“Tea’s good.”

“Iced.” You agreed.

“I’m…” What was he doing?

Was he going to spend all day like this?

You were clearly over the moon with excitement.

You’d made this incredible list.

Everyone had split up, but seemed to be having a blast.

This was the final item on your mega list.

He was going to be your buddy for the day.

Was he going to miss that chance?

Never.

“I’m…” Mikey repeated and then jumped forward to block your path. “I’m going to get the most sugary thing and drop four shots of espresso in it!”

“M-Mikey!!” Your hands came up in a worried flurry.

“Try and stop me!” Mikey cheered and ran towards the only food stand that was open.

It was clearly the coffee station and you chased after shouting his name.

He placed his order before you reached him and you panted yours out when you got there.

The person moved to make them after taking payment and you scolded him for what would definitely happen. While the hyper-dose of caffeine would momentarily settle him, it would also eventually process along with the sugar. The resulting stimulation would send him bouncing off the walls until he eventually crashed. You added notes about forcing snacks on him to prevent that and he breezily accepted.

You got your drinks and headed out.

He found Casey by her voice alone and found her arguing with a worker in the carnival area. Raph stood by, unable to do much other than apologize and Mikey swooped in to get her away. The woman griped around having won and Mikey told her to get the next one. A huddle was had and there was discussion on how the games were rigged. It broke apart with an agreement that a little mysticism would go a long way and games were then chosen in a rotation.

It started with you picking a water gun game where you won nothing more than a bouncy ball.

Mikey and you played with it as Raph took his turn next and drove Casey up a wall because he had trouble deciding. You had a great time walking around and talking amongst it so when Raph finally picked it almost seemed like an interruption. His stall of choice came with ring toss and extra fuzzy looking plush prizes. You all took turns throwing, but no one got close enough to win anything.

Casey went next and immediately chose a stall that had balloons to pop. She forewent the weapon to throw kunai which spooked the employee. It took the manpower of the rest of the group to calm the man down before Mikey casted a small memory shifting spell. It had come in handy more than once for removing blame from his dad, but he kept the origins of the spell to himself. The mechanics of which he happily shared. The employee lost five minutes at most and Casey was removed from the stall kicking and screaming by Raph.

That left Mikey, who stopped at the sight of a giant spinning drill bit. It was an oddity amongst the other dime a dozen games and he felt compelled to ask. A kind man offered him a metal rod with a hole in it and explained that the game was one like Operation. If Mikey could get the hole all the way down the twisting and turning piece of metal without making contact with it then he would get a prize.

Raph was staring straight at a teddy bear the size of him and of a much higher quality than any other stand.

Mikey pretended to push up his non-existent sleeves before he claimed this was the game.

The buzzer of failure rang within 15 seconds.

Casey shoved him out of the way and screamed about how she would be the successful one amongst them all.

Her alarm came in seven seconds.

She spit about cheating and Mikey held her back so Raph could go.

Raph was sweating bullets as his giant hands meant it was more difficult to hold the rod.

He maneuvered the hole as far down as he could before his mass impeded him twisting along with the moving drill and he was outed around the 25 second mark.

That left you where you hopelessly grabbed the rod.

Without a drop of faith on your face, you studied how to best approach it and threaded your rod against the drill.

Moving slowly and methodically, you worked down the corkscrew that had taken out both Mikey and Casey.

You then rounded a looping arch that had removed Raph.

Down into a rectangular area that had you making snap gestures with your wrists, you then cleared it for a final flight straight down until the rod sat flush with the base of the game.

There was a beat of silence.

You then looked up at the employee.

“T-there was a mistake…” The man uttered. “The top there. You touched it, but the machine glitched and didn’t go off.”

This time Casey wasn’t the only one who fought back.

Mikey shot forward with the other two to bowl the mean man over with complaints.

Your praises were sung.

The man was bitter in gesturing to the wall, giving up on the matter and letting you pick a prize.

“Raph… which was it…?” You checked with him.

“You sure?!” Raph’s eyes watered.

“Very.” You nodded for him to choose.

He hugged the bear so tight there were waning stitches.

It was Casey who urged him to back off and with that you were off for your first snack break.

The sugar and caffeine were commingling in Mikey’s stomach so he launched himself forward with purpose. He ended up getting too far ahead and bet a random employee about guessing his weight. The man ended up being wrong and gave him a superhero cape for his troubles. It was a far cry from his cloak, but Mikey ran around making it soar nonetheless. You eventually caught up and purchased a variety of popcorns. They had a ridiculous amount of flavors and the pot was shared amongst the group. One selection was tossed while another was fought over and after you forced Mikey to down a bottle of water, you were on your way to the ride of his choosing.

The freefall ride was immediately selected and you were soon led to a shaky basket. It sat ready to be lifted up a set of tracks. Raph bowed out as there were three seats and he couldn’t fit in any of them. He seemed more than pleased to watch with his stuffed animal cradled tight and you were moved into the middle position. Casey complained about not needing shackles which the park attendant ignored as he made sure everyone was strapped in. Mikey looked all around in obvious excitement while your anxieties heavily contrasted him. You politely asked the man to double check your safety bar. He did so without complaint, but tacked on that you should be ready because the ride dropped at a rate of 30 feet per second which did nothing to quell your concerns.

As the man moved away to start the ride, Mikey caught a glimpse of teeth. 

It unnerved him and he continued to stare long after the guy manned a control panel. As far as Mikey could tell, he didn’t do anything else out of the ordinary which left him wondering if he had been mistaken. The ride began to ascend the tower and you clung to your safety bars with white knuckles. Mikey switched to soothing you by wondering if you’d been able to see the ride team when you achieved your maximum height. You stunted out a question about what coaster they were on and the ride clinked to a halt at the very top while Mikey tried to guess.

The entire park was laid out in front of you.

Mikey watched over it with a huge smile before turning it to you and finding the same awe inspired twinkle in your eyes.

“These are the best seats…” Casey mumbled.

You nodded in agreement.

“Nice pick, orange peel.” Casey tipped her chin to Mikey.

“Thank you!” Mikey beamed.

The moment lingered on.

A little too long. 

Casey squirmed and grunted about the wait. 

Mikey’s eye wandered before he peeked over the carriage to see what was going on below. 

From this angle, he couldn’t quite see the ride operator. 

You mustered up the courage to wonder, “Isn’t it… s-supposed to fa-?”

The beams holding the cart released with a chunk and whatever was left of your question went up into an outright scream as you rocketed down the ride. The basket then tipped and flipped over at the end, cutting off the intense inertia and churned the contents of everyone’s stomachs. Casey belched loudly and Mikey weakly thanked you for the water. You only shivered in your seat and didn’t move a muscle until the cart was righted and you were allowed to exit. There you made it a few feet before you wilted into Raph. “I-I l-lifted!”

“Lifted?” Raph offered you his stuffed animal.

You grabbed it with a might that rivaled its owners. “I-In m-my s-seat…! I-it w-wasn’t t-tight t-to m-my b-body. I l-lifted up i-into t-the a-air!”

Mikey spun around to glare at the employee, but he was strapping new guests in.

“Let’s go!” Mikey grumbled and ushered the group along.

You nodded shakily and it took walking halfway across the park before you steadied a little. It was there that you met up with the ride crew fresh off their coaster and oozing adrenaline. April was hollering about going a third time and tackled Casey. The former recruit hoisted her up and paraded April around. Mikey passed you off to Donnie who animatedly regaled you about the ride they’d just been on. He had the history of it and listening to him seemed to take your final edge off.

It was only to be built back up as this reunion was so you could hit your coaster.

The park capacity had grown as time wore on. It meant a lengthy wait in the line which was happily filled with conversation. Catching up on everything that had been missed, you updated the schedule before it was your turn. This time it was four in a row and Mikey high fived Leo to signal he’d ride with him. The couples took the first car and Donnie had words about how being in the front had its advantages.

You didn’t seem to agree, but you were soothed when this park attendant didn’t have the same odd edge. She secured you into place with a heavy click and pulled so hard on your seat belt that you appeared to have the air squeezed out of you. Donnie prattled on about how you would achieve 50 miles per hour and an employee joked about you losing your shoes. Mikey used his last free motion to zip his fanny pack up tightly and there was a ticking counter for takeoff.

The entire train shot like a bullet out of the station. Without a single building momentum, it instead bounced with turns and rotations that mimicked a balloon caught in a wind tunnel. Mikey screeched with excitement as he saw ground, then sky, then ground again, in a seemingly endless loop. His body was rocked violently side to side, but little of him went anywhere with the safety equipment.

With its hurtling speeds, the ride appeared over as fast as it began and Mikey was giggling his head off.

Donnie disengaged first, but you didn’t move.

He immediately rounded back on you and the employee came along with alarm on her face that immediately shifted to outright laughter. “Omigosh! Look at your hands! You made indents with your f-fingers! I’ve never seen that!!”

“Let go, nova dearest…” Donnie urged you.

You made a weary noise and didn’t seem to know you were safely docked.

“You’re alright. You can let go now.” The attendant joined in.

“You’re all good! Still got your zapatos on!” Leo cheered from where he was already back on solid ground.

Mikey followed after him. “The schedule, Y/N!”

That got you and you disengaged your fingers.

The attendant and Donnie helped you to the platform.

Your hands were out and stuck in a claw-like positioning.

“This is when you-!” Casey caught a finger and pulled hard.

It popped the joint and you squeaked in pain.

April immediately went on both attack and defense.

She kicked Casey down a short flight of stairs and helped you check your finger. “It’s not out of socket… You good?”

You nodded, teary eyed.

“Alright, alright…” April shushed you and slung an arm around your shoulders. “Where’s Raph? I bet he wants to do tea cups!”

“Tea cups! Spin off, bro!?” Leo whooped and turned toward Donnie.

You murmured out Raph’s location.

Donnie shoved Leo away and moved into yours and April’s shadow.

Casey butted up to Mikey’s side. “Was that… a grave mistake…?”

“No…” Mikey turned to her with sympathy. “Too much at the wrong time? Yes, but you’ll be forgiven, I guarantee it.”

Casey didn’t seem convinced.

“How about this…?” Mikey ducked his head down to share a secret.

Casey came with severe attention.

“When we have souvenir time, pay close attention to what Y/N looks at. If they pass on something, but look back at it, you know they actually want it. Get them that and say sorry then. It’ll be perfect.”

“You are sure?”

“I…” Mikey softened. “… know Y/N better than anyone. Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I see… Understood.” Casey gave a nod and broke the walking huddle.

Raph was back with the gang and had a churro that was almost as long as him. Apparently a cart man had taken his size on as a challenge and made this one special. Raph was unfazed at having not ridden any rides yet and munched happily. Your spirits raised and by the time you were at the tea cups, you asked to sit out. April offered to join you, but you urged her to go as you wanted to watch and take pictures.

That was enough of a go ahead and everyone smashed themselves into a single cup even though there wasn’t enough room. The attendant at this ride didn’t seem to care as no one else was on and started up the cups. All six cup members grabbed the center wheel and began to turn it with reckless abandon. The cup immediately exceeded some upper limit and the resulting g-forces forced Mikey to let go first.

He slammed, carapace first, into the wall and found he couldn’t pull his limbs back to return to spinning. Leo’s lips flapped as he challenged Casey who was directly across from him. She took him on with a wild expression and April was the next to hit the wall. She seemed to suffocate on the oxygen being spun away from her and Raph’s clambering claws slipped.

He had little space to fly and only seemed to open up more room for the final three. Donnie held out as long as he could, but he too was knocked out by the rotations. That left Leo and Casey who, to Mikey’s eyes, were never going to stop. The ride continued to spin longer than Mikey thought possible. Though it was only in millisecond clips, he sort of caught the vision of you talking to the employee. You pointed towards them and he thought maybe it was to stop you, but Mikey also caught a clip of the employee laughing.

The ride wasn’t going to stop until someone won, he realized then.

“Gonna… be… sick…!!” Donnie retched.

“I’ve been puked on before!” Leo cackled, not backing down.

“Try cleaning up frosting vomit!” Casey matched him.

“Been there, done that!” Leo seethed.

Raph’s eyes spun and his head lolled.

“We lost Raph!” April screamed.

Donnie and April latched onto the arms of the largest half-conscious brother to keep him from flying out of the ride.

The tea cup began to wobble.

“U-uh… G-guys!?” Mikey squeaked.

“Give it up!” Leo’s words slurred.

“Never!!!” Casey screamed.

A bit of spit exited her mouth.

As if caught in the middle of a vortex, it seemed to slow around the tornado.

Mikey watched as it hung before choosing a direction.

It hit Leo directly in the eye.

The slider let go and flew back with enough force that there was an audible bang against the metal cup.

A song played that signaled the end of the ride and no amount of gentle slowing could adjust everyone’s equilibrium.

“I… win!!!” Casey managed before collapsing right out of the cup.

The others similarly fell to the floor and half crawled their way in different directions, unable to tell which way they were going. You rushed into the ride and helped the best you could. It meant you flew from April almost hitting a guardrail to Raph who regained consciousness, but could barely speak. Donnie dry heaved and the attendant had to use a crowbar to remove Leo from the cup. There was light conversation about paying for damages which was turned into an elaborate lie instead so the park employee wouldn’t get in trouble for his various infractions.

Something convincing was agreed upon and half the group took a break.

Leo said he was fine otherwise and said he’d be hitting the restroom. April checked her phone as he was walking away and screamed at him about the time. He immediately took off running and she pursued him all while asking why he felt the need to flee. Raph said something about needing to move since his ear drums thought he was and he gravitated towards a nearby slide. Mikey watched after, nursing a new water. He glanced at his companions and found you soothingly rubbing the back of Donnie’s neck while Casey lay in a limp pile.

“It’s two to a carpet…” You told Mikey without looking.

“Isn’t Raph the two?” Mikey chuckled.

You smiled and flicked your eyes to give him permission to go.

He returned the grip and tipped his water in gratitude before chasing after the oldest. This line moved swiftly and Mikey and Raph butted together to walk the straight line between the bars. They were soon sitting on a soft rug and then pushed down an enormous snake. Black, red, and yellow flew by and it was oddly grounding as they slithered through twists and turns. By the time they were off, the vertigo had lapsed and Mikey ran back to you with the good news.

You had moved over by a trash can where you were patting Casey’s face with a wet towel.

“She get sick?” Mikey asked.

You opened your mouth to respond but the women in question cut you off.

“N-nev-!” Casey belched wetly. “-er… yes…”

“Don’t worry… Even warriors throw up sometimes…” You passed Casey the towel.

“Thank you…” Casey showed a moment of vulnerability and leaned into you.

You helped her up and back over to where Donnie was still sat.

“Lunch is next…” Raph spoke nervously and his stomach growled.

“How!?” Donnie threw out a limp wrist.

Raph chuckled sheepishly.

“Food can help… Something light?” You asked Casey.

She only groaned and moved to walk herself towards the larger food court.

“How are you fine?” Donnie asked Mikey.

“Hmm…” Mikey wondered aloud. “Y/N has been pumping me full of dry food and water so I guess I’m hydrated and the food ate up my stomach acid kinda thing?”

Donnie thought it over before stopping at the next closest cart to get a water.

Mikey watched him sip on it and the group eventually gathered at an outdoor dining room flagging a congregation of food stalls. Mikey took orders and Raph offered to carry the trays while everyone else rested. You darted away for napkins and condiments and there was soon a spread on a large wooden table. April joined back up just as food was served and when asked who Leo was with she would only grumble out that she didn’t want to talk about it. No one pushed and she left to momentarily get her own food.

Eating slowly recuperated everyone and there was talk of how to proceed. The tram ride was technically next and Raph was full and eager to ride the train around the park. You urged the others that this was a good thing and there was a stuffed trudge over to the platform. It was an agonizing staircase up, but once inside, the AC pumped through the cabin. Each person laid out on their own bench and slipped into a dreamy daze as the tram made routine pit stops.

For several cycles, the transport was yours. Mikey sat across the alley from you and watched you stare at the way the sunbeams sparkled through the rides. They seemed to be the only light penetrating the calm and darkened car. It added to the mood and it was only when another person finally got on that you all moved to disembark.

You were on the far side of the park and there was a divide on what to do next. A certain coaster was here that could apparently fit Raph and he seemed eager to try it. Meanwhile, April and Casey had their eyes set on a log ride on the other side of the park. Raph looked on expectantly at the rest of you and Donnie agreed to go. You and Mikey said you’d wait in line, but not ride and everyone separated. The queue was shorter here for the distance from the other rides and the line curled through the trees. It offered a delightful flush of shade and conversation was pleasant.

Raph was allowed on after some adjustments to his seat and Donnie bid you and Mikey adieu.

You showed Mikey the tea cup pictures you had taken and Mikey couldn’t stop laughing at all the ugly wind blown faces. You regaled him on how you asked the ride attendant to keep spinning and how the man thought it was a hilarious contest. He apparently had a speed gun and caught a top speed of 89 miles per hour which seemed absurd, but you had evidence of that too. You then readied yourself and snapped a photo as the coaster shot by with Donnie and Raph. You shared that shot with Mikey too and it painted Raph the picture of terror and Donnie something a little more lighthearted than neutral.

You were both laughing and turning the images into memes when the other two brothers joined you.

Donnie appeared in good health, but walked a small distance from the group to slouch against a bench instead of sitting on it.

Raph got his phone out, laughed at the first meme in the group chat, and then was obvious about getting the itinerary up. “Oh, there’s a break in the schedule here. We can either rest, go to a show, or shop!”

“What kind of show?” Mikey perked up.

“Uh…” Raph fiddled with the drop down and his large fingers. “Dance show!”

Mikey debated openly.

You were looking at Donnie.

Donnie didn’t seem to notice.

Donnie looked like he was sulking. 

You turned to Mikey with a sort of expectant look.

Mikey tilted his head and wondered if he should prod his brother.

You instead moved closer to him and gestured for him to lower his head.

He brought it down to listen. “Mind shopping with me? I don’t think he’s had enough protein…”

“Sure!” Mikey bobbed. “Raph, you going to the show? We’re hitting the vendors!”

“Think I’ll be good alone…?” Raph weighed his options with a swing of his head.

“I think you’ll run into Leo and his mystery date.” Mikey wagged his brow ridge. “What’s more romantic than dancing?” 

Raph lit up. “Dance show it is!”

You waved Raph and his stuffed animal goodbye and went to flank Donnie with Mikey.

He moved listlessly with you and Mikey thought you were spot on in your guess.

He hadn’t seen Donnie eat anything other than a plain baked potato at the concession so it was highly likely that his brother hadn’t had anything with protein in it since his morning omelet. With all the walking and excitement, that meant he had little more than carbs to work off of and it was the likely culprit for his dip in mood.

You rounded in and out of several open air shops where Mikey clocked a keychain for Casey to get you later.

He covertly snapped a pic and sent it off along with a location and received back a flurry of emojis.

Mikey rolled his eyes affectionately and followed you into a shop with jerky.

Donnie turned his nose up at the stuff, but the employee there was a proud one. They went on and on about how tender it was which Donnie openly scoffed at. Samples were passed out to prove him otherwise, but he refused to partake. You and Mikey clinked paper cups before downing yours and Mikey drilled the employee on how they’d done it all while his mouth was still full. It was far too tender for what it was and the employee laughed haughtily and only agreed.

Donnie tentatively took a corner shred as a bite as if there was a chance it was poisoned and was struck by how easily the meat tore away from the piece. He then ate his fill and picked up several bags which he snacked on while you and Mikey debated flavors. The employee threw in a discount and you exited with several bags and a much happier Donnie.

A piece of jerky stuck out of the corner of his brother’s mouth and you pulled the group aside to look at the park map. There was clear conversation of where to head next and Mikey’s attention wandered. He was no longer wearing his cape which meant he had lost it at some point. Instead of wondering where, Mikey accepted the disappearance and fiddled with the zipper of his fanny pack. You and Donnie were still talking and he was about to interject in case you had gotten off topic when a man walked by. 

Mikey stared after him for a long moment and placed him as the man from the freefall ride. 

A small spark of resentment flicked in Mikey’s chest and he decided this walk by had occurred for a reason. 

“I’m… I’m gonna be right back! Do whatever… yeah, whatever…!” Mikey ran in the direction the employee went.

You shouted out questions behind him, but didn’t pursue.

It took a bit of winding as Mikey lost track, but around a curve of fence, there was an obvious park worker entrance that said ‘KEEP OUT.’ It was also very obviously wide open and Mikey popped his head in to check. There was a long hallway of built up fence that disappeared around a bend. He walked cautiously down the path until a sliver of an open area became visible. Stopping there and hunkering down in learned scouting, Mikey saw the park employee walk into frame with another following him and yanking his hat off.

The offensive man slapped his coworker and the other man complained that he almost dropped his headwear.

Mikey chewed his lip at the first bubbles of anger.

The mean man laughed. “Aw, did I scare you?! Careful now, don’t wanna shit yourself!”

“Get lost, Zach.” The second man waved him away.

“Don’t be like that, Nevan. Whatcha doing?”

“Taking five, beat it.”

“Aw, come on! We’re both hiding out” The jerk who was now dubbed Zach leaned on the wall beside the other man.

“No, dude. I just need a second and I’m not getting written up for you again.” The nicer guy who was apparently named Nevan sneered. 

“Jerry’s a jackass! He hands out write up slips like parking tickets!”

“No, you’re always breaking code.” Nevan waved Zach off to leave.

“Come on! You’re already here! I just wanna tell you about this nutcase on the free fall!”

Nevan put his fingers in his ears and sang.

Zach tackled him and bumped a nearby trash can that buzzed with the jostling. 

Mikey caught his fingers in a wood plank to keep from interfering. 

Zach soon had Nevan in a headlock. 

“What the fuck is your problem!? Get off!!” Nevan struggled. 

“Listen and I’ll let go!” Zach cooed. 

“Screw you!”

Zach squeezed.

Mikey seethed, ready to step in.

“Fine! You know what?! Fine! Just let go!!”

Zach threw his hands up.

The other man rubbed his collar. “You fucking suck. I hate you so much…”

“Nah, you love me!”

“Just say your stupid shit so I can go, man!”

“Stupid…?” Zach burst out ugly laughing.

Nevan used the cover to inch toward his escape.

“This morning, you shoulda seen it!”

Nevan knew to pause when Zach looked.

“There was this grade A scaredy cat with these inhuman freaks. I’m telling you, we need to round them all up so we don’t gotta look at ‘em!”

Mikey slid his foot forward.

“Dude!” Nevan shoved Zach. “No! Fuck you! I’m not listening to that! My sister is dating a Labrador dude and he’s the best! That’s it. I’m out! I’m reporting you!”

“No! Come on!” Zach tried to pursue.

In a flick of his hand, Mikey manifested a chain in front of Zach’s foot.

Zach tripped, but Mikey pulled hard on the mystic energy.

It snapped tight and momentum pulled the man in the other direction.

He stumbled the other way with flailing arms and Mikey was careful in manifesting individual links under his feet so he wouldn’t be able to catch a grip on the ground.

Zach slammed into the trash can and it fell over alongside him.

There was a dull thrum before bees burst from their hive inside.

Nevan scrambled away as Zach was immediately attacked by the swarm.

Zach screeched and Nevan puffed with one shock of worry before he straightened. “You know what?! Serves you right!!”

Nevan turned and Mikey bolted back down the path and out into the park proper. He made a few sharp strides to make it look like he was walking by and he glimpsed Nevan emerge. The employee slammed the ‘KEEP OUT’ door behind him and the distant sounds of Zach’s attack melded in with screams from coasters. 

Nevan disappeared and Mikey was left relatively alone to cheer. He pumped a few happy fists before skipping back to where he’d left you and Donnie. The pair of you weren’t there and Mikey knew he could check his phone to find your location, but instead chose to wander. Misters had been turned on for the heat and he slowed by the spray to let it douse him. When his shirt was thoroughly soaked, he continued to meander.

It took him past happy families that were making memories, couples who tittered cutely to one another, and friends who snapped photo after photo. He felt honored to be privy to all these people’s special moments. This all came about because of you. You and your determination brought him here and he couldn’t be happier. You would have each other for the rest of your lives and it was with that vision of you old and grey that Mikey heard your laughter.

Donnie’s voice predictably followed and Mikey moved forward at a leisurely pace. He came upon a small unused pavilion behind some trees that he bet was great for kid’s shows. Now, it was currently empty and on the closest row to the top, Donnie was seated and you were hovering over him. Your hands were placed on either side of his head and you leaned forward to dot the tip of his beak with your nose.

Donnie reached up and steadied himself by grabbing your arm. “Y/N…”

You hummed curious in response and pulled away to run your thumbs soothingly over his cheeks.

 “Y/N, my beloved Nova. My darling . My luminous explosion of which all other ceases to be in light of you…” Donnie spoke again, sounding a little dopey.

“What is it?” You giggled and curled your fingers under his chin. 

“I need you.” He turned inward to nose and kiss one of your palms.

“You have me.” You kissed his forehead. 

“That’s not near enough. Do you know how long it’s been?” Donnie grouched lightly. 

You shushed him and shuffled until you were between his knees. “You’re having fun today.”

“I suppose that’s true...” He tested light brushes of his fingers against your waist. 

“You’d do it again, I bet.” You nodded to him and, in a happy trill, he pulled you flush to him. 

“Yes, well…!” His head dove into your shoulder as you settled in his arms. “How can you use my equally adored logic against so callously?”

“Callous, huh?” You still had his head and thumbed one of his cheeks.

“Yes.” He puffed them out so you had more to press.

“When you didn’t have to ask…?” You led him.

He peered at you curiously. “Ask what?”

“For my attention.”

He thought for only a moment before his expression went especially gooey.

“I could tell. You missed me. I missed you… It’d been a little too long, but I’m here now.”

“And you’ll… stay…?” He appeared anxious and quickly tried to mop it up with haughtiness. “I’ve yet to have my fill and my Y/N battery can be quite large so who knows how long it will take the receptacle to refill when-!”

You nuzzled down into his cheek.

His lips stalled out at the affection and gave up to lounge against you.

“Of course, I’ll stay. Maybe I’m not as exciting as those coasters, but we’ll have just as much fun together. We always do.”

“True, you aren’t enjoyable as a thrill ride…”

You were unmoved.

“You’re a far greater excitement.” He nudged for your full attention. “I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next.”

You gave it with a flush of your lids. 

He somehow turned up his affections. “I love you.” 

“I love you.” You responded immediately and moved your head to meet his lips. 

Mikey stood quietly for the exchange before he lowered his gaze. It didn’t exactly feel like a revelation that you and Donnie were indeed some form of hopeless romantics, but it had been interesting to see it play out. You were a specific type of bold for your boyfriend and Mikey reached up to press a fist to his plastron. He wasn’t sure when, but at some point the cat in his chest had leapt away. It left warmth in its place and Mikey found that no matter how much time had passed, that heat lingered. There was perspective there and Mikey was glad he had stumbled upon this display. It was a signal that all was right in the world and, after giving you love birds a few more moments, he moved to make his presence known.

You squeaked out apologies for modesty, but didn’t flee from your partner.

Mikey waved you off and called himself a creeper before he tacked on that he could make that twofold.  

The specification caught Donnie’s attention where he loosened his grip on you to press what Mikey meant.

Mikey openly regaled the pair about the nefarious employee Zach.  

Donnie rose gravely and paused to break his character to ask you something with his eyes. 

You were still clearly processing Mikey’s story and only blinked at him blankly. 

Donnie’s lids dripped with adoration and he pecked your cheek before stepping free of the bench. 

It took two steps for him to shift into rage and announce that he was heading to an information desk. 

A formal complaint was about to be logged whether either of you liked it or not.

You and Mikey barely kept up with Donnie who tore a path towards his destination.

You shared a hopeless look with Mikey about how your boyfriend couldn’t be stopped.

Mikey responded in kind as he knew his brother.

You both laughed and highly contrasted the darkened aura of his sibling.  

It was a joyous light. 

It was one he shared with you that you had made all your own.

💛 THE END 💛

My greatest gratitude to my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83 for joining me in the completion of another work.

[itsanerdlife]

Wicked Intentions21

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader // (Seriously close) Steve Rogers x Reader // Clint Barton x Reader // T’Challa x Reader.

Warning: Violence. Language. Bullying. Girl Fights. Name Calling. Degrading Comments. Angst. Degrade of Woman (to a point). Criminal Life. Illegal Shit. Fights. Alpha Males. Stalking.

A/N: This is a Bully Romance. High School setting. Mafia Family Life. Woman are on a lower level than males in their world. Just a heads up. This is the third installment of the series. Bad Intentions, Cruel Intentions, and Wicked Intentions.

Credit: Huge shout out to @ml7010 for all the help, pushing, hyping up, putting up with my changes midway through. If it wasn't for this peach, y'all never would have gotten this series or nearly as far as I am now.

Stepping into the Stark house, music vibrates sounding like it’s coming from the back patio. The five of them exchange a look at the music.

“Is that,” Peter’s brow drops down.

“No.” Howie sweats.

“WAP.” Clint nods to the beat.

Buck pinches the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “Why do you know this song?”

Clint’s mouthing the words, as they move towards the cracked French doors leading to the patio. Curtains pulled back, giving them a view to the pool.

The girls are together. Gwen on a floaty. Bobbi sits on the edge of the pool. Wanda is in the water with a drink in hand, sunglasses on.

Becca and Y/N are standing the bar attached to the pool, only they’re rapping the song together. Gwen and Wanda hyping them up, Bobbi can’t breathe she’s laughing so hard.

“I don’t cook, I don’t clean but let me tell you how I got this ring.” Y/N and Becca hold their left hands up, flashing off their rings.

Y/N continues to make a drink while Becca continues the song.

“Gobble me, swallow me. Drip down the side of me. Quick, jump out before you let it get inside of me. I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I’m about to be. I run down on him before I have a” she pauses for a second “running me. Talk yo shit, bite yo lip. Ask for a car while you ride that dick.”

“She couldn’t have been a boy?!” Bucky groans.

“I could have lived all my life without that.” Steve sighs, hands on his hips.

“I think I’m having a stroke.” Clint rubs the side of his chest.

“No, I’m having a stroke.” Peter whines.

Y/N is holding her now filled glass in hand. Going off to the song playing still.

“Your honor, I’m a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes. Switch my wig, make him feel like he’s cheating. Put him on his knees, give him something to believe in.” Her hands move, fingers pointed, hips rocking.

“Never lost a fight, but I’m looking for a beating.” Gwen about spits her drink out, Wanda and Bobbi cheers to her. “In the food chain, I’m the one that eat ya. If he ate my ass, he’s a bottom feeder. Big D stands for Big Demeanor. I could make you bust before I ever meet ya. If it don’t hang, then he can’t bang. You can’t hurt my feelings, but I like pain.” She flexes her free arm, laughing.

“If he fucks me and asks, ‘whose is it?’ When I ride the dick, I’ma spell my name.” Her hands come up to her face, elbows at her middle, hips rolling.

The doors ripped open.

Peter is screaming “When did this become a WHORE house!?” At his sister. The music continues, but the girls are stock still, exchanging looks.

“Hi big brother!” Y/N laughs.

“Oh, my husbands’ home.” Gwen laughs from her floaty.

“There better be sunscreen on that belly.” Peter points at his wife.

Indeed, her belly rounding out is promptly baking in the sun. Bobbi grabs something from the side of the pool, tossing it to Wanda who turns quickly with it. Gwen’s hands go up, Wanda sprays side to side across her belly.

“You worry too much.” Y/N laughs.

“Are you drunk, Smalls?” Steve steps out of the house next.

“What?” Y/N grins, but she slightly sways on her feet.

Buck leans on the door frame watching her.

“Are you all drunk?” Clint looks over at Bobbi. Who’s wide eyed and pink in the face.

“Who?” They chirp together.

“Didn’t know we had owls.” Howie snorts.

“Not me!” Gwen holds up her cup.

The four girls turning looking at her. “Way to come out like the good wife.” Y/N scoffs at her sister.

“You’re not a wife.” Gwen gives a smart-ass sigh, sipping from her straw.

“Hell, no she ain’t.” Bucky laughs.

Gwen’s snarky smirk drops, she sticks her tongue out at him.

“Suck it.” Y/N sasses at her sister.

“If she’d done that in the first place, she wouldn’t be pregnant.” Bobbi comments slamming the rest of her cup.

“Hey!” Gwen gasps.

Y/N cackles loudly. “Fuck yes Bobbi!”

“Shut up newbie.” Gwen crinkles her nose at Bobbi. Bobbi winks at Gwen, blowing her a kiss.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Howie is trying to take both cups from his sister and Becca. “No. No more.” He goes to reach for his sisters. Only she smacks him in the side of the head with her other hand.

“No touchies.” She points a finger at him. He holds the side of his head.

“First of all. Ow.” He glares at his sister. “Second of all, you need to sober up.”

Y/N snickers, taking a large drink from the cup. “Says who?” She sasses, wiping the drink drippling down her chin.

“We need to talk, baby girl.” He watches her, smirking.

Her face goes slack. Handing her cup to Steve, who chuckles taking a drink from it. His eye twitches, which tells Bucky how strong of a drink it is.

“What happened? Did something change?” Her brown eyes wide.

Shaking his head knowing she’s worrying about the wedding. “No not that, something we need settled before then.” Peter cracks a water bottle from the bar, handing it to his baby sister.

“Should I get dressed?” she asks, downing the water in hand.

“Yes.” Howie and Peter sighs.

“Throw some bottoms on.” He smirks at her.

Pointing to her shorts on one of the chairs, Clint grabs them, bringing them over to her. She finishes her water, and steps into her shorts. He leads her over to the patio table off to the side, a little away from everyone else, under a gazebo.

“Did something happen?” she asks as she takes a seat. Steve slides her another water.

“The night at the warehouse, Pietro mentioned wanting to get into bed with us.” He settles in next to her. She nods as she takes a sip from the bottled water.

“We have a rule between us.” Peter explains. “When we got into business together.”

“What rule?” She asks softly.

“If you don’t agree, we don’t get into bed with another.” Steve tells her.

She chews her bottom lip, nodding slowly.

“We’ve told you before you’re the center of both of us. What we do, we do with you in mind. Working together we agreed to stick with that.” Howie nods.

“If you don’t agree working with Pietro, we don’t.” Clint shrugs.

“You will always know the workings of what we are doing, nobody will ever hang it over your head you aren’t in the know.” Bucky assures her.

“Working with the Maximoff’s, will it cause more trouble?” she asks.

They exchange a look. “Eddie won’t like it.” Peter admits, shrugging.

She sips her water for a moment. “Fuck Eddie, he’s this close to dying.” Her eyes roll.

Buck smirks, shrugging. “She’s not wrong.”

“Do we all agree with Smalls?” Steve wonders, looking around the table.

“On killing Eddie or working with Pietro?” Howie smirks.

“Both.” Bucky grins.

“Oh absolutely.” Peter smiles back.

“I’d love to kill him.” Clint chuckles.

“Guess we’re in bed with Pietro.” Steve glances over.

“Guess we are.” He nods.

“Hold on.” She puts her hand up, stopping them from moving. “Since when did all of you start calling me Smalls?” She glances around the table. “Except Bucky.” She points a finger at him.

The four of them exchange a look.

“You’re our baby sister too.” Steve shrugs.

“Sweets is great, but Smalls, it’s deeper.” Clint admits.

“Like dad will ever give up calling you Miss. You’ll always be Smalls.” Peter shrugs.

“Head of the table, married, nothing changes you being our baby sister at the end of the day. No matter the situation, you’re Smalls before anything else to us.” Howie explains.

She shakes her head, moving to stand up. He gets up, falling in line with her. “I win though, I get to call you my wife, no matter the situation, till death.” He chuckles softly; she looks over grinning at him.

------------ Everything Peaches 9/21/24 @mo320 @ml7010 @babizza @kmc1989 @coley0823 @aiva-gwen-aers @royal-sunflower @camelliasblossom @shinycupcakebaker @purpleeclipseeggsland @daughterofthenight117 @hisredheadedgoddess28

Bucky 'Fuck Me Up' Barnes: @jbbarnesgirl @kaylaphantomhive @starryeyes-sadmind

Series tags: @sebastians-love @otterlycanadian

[veeagainsttheday]

Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip. 

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place. 

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken. 

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock. 

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’  

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him. 

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask? 

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death. 

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough. 

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying. 

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low. 

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually. 

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too. 

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!). 

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens. 

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence. 

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster. 

[yeehawthethird]

Ok so I got my friend to watch an episode of lab rats (avalanche) + some out of context clips, and gathered all their thoughts. We shall unpack them.

Adam: deserves to be publicly executed, needs a low taper fade “imagine if ch-Adam got a low taper fade” *would start a fight with him (and win????), get him a barber

Bree: made them want to be a pilgrim and yell “witch”, not French,need to cut her split ends, like the cheese? *middle aged women?, did the stress get to her?, does she have curtain bangs?

Chase: chase after who?, deserves a villain arc, horrendous taste in fashion, “I knew he was a boy liker”, ringing their gaydar * Atlantic???, he makes them tired, even his hairline can’t be straight

Leo: his name reminds them of lemon cheese?????, good character, yeahhhhh, nice t-shirt, he gets it funky, * kinda looks shellshocked, “me like”, kinda reminds them of Mario

Donald: Elon Musk????, TRUMP???, duck????, Jeffery Epstein???? (Elon Epstein), minors in the offshore facilities????, not winning any elections

Douglas: likes his deviled eggs, giving them horrendous cramps????, ice, ice ice baby, * he’s burning his tits, needs more Doug, can sense that he is gay considering his bald sugar daddy

Tasha: hot, milf, smash, basically a single mom who works two jobs, kinda looks like Michelle Obama, * in Tasha we stand

Janelle: looks like a substitute teacher, “the class doesn’t dismiss you I do”, if she hits the gritty she’d be cooler, wait no don’t put that in

*Marcus: “Is that the homosexual?”, hairline kinda wonky, thought he was Sebastian for some reason-, probably gonna start standing on a table and start reciting hamlet, a cashiers worst nightmare

*perry: seems like would walk into a Wendy’s in full Wendy’s gear and claims she owns the place, “FRANK YOUR dreamS BECAME A NIGHTMARE”

*Sebastian: reminds them of Johnny bravo on steroids, the leather jacket ain’t doing much, hiding all of his insecurities, gives closeted bisexual vibes, also popeye vibes, looks like he can unhinge his jaw like a snake 😭💀

There is SO MUCH to unpack here.

[kittysdiary]

Kitty’s Guide to Fall/Winter 2023

You’ve all LOVED my season guides so it’s only fair that I continue the tradition and make a fall/winter guide for 2023! In this guide I’ll be going over important topics that will outline what the kitty energy is going to be for the cold + cozy season. This guide will give you a month to prep for a bombshell fall/winter! 🍂🥧🎀

Kitty Energy This Fall/Winter

For this coming season I’m definitely going for that off duty supermodel look. Bombshell curls, doe eyed lash extensions, brown lipglosses and warm toned neutral eyeshadows with a pop of glitter. Layered looks are a must for these up and coming cold months. This years color palette will range from pink, cream, browns and dark denim.

Beauty

Pressed matte powders

Charlotte Tilbury + Patrick Ta are the makeup brand vibes for this up and coming season

Brown lip liners and neutral pink glosses

Long + fluffed lashes. Go for lashes with that seductive cat eye look!

New body butters, face creams, hand creams and face masks that draw in moisture. Weather change can cause dryness + irritation so focusing on products that hydrate is a must!!

French tip nails + toes

Fragrances with warm notes. Ex.) vanilla, cinnamon, spices + cashmere.

Valentino Donna Born in Roma Intense, Dior Poison & Mugler Alien Goddess.

Bellami hair extensions

Hair colors -> blonde, chestnut, deep chocolate brown + jet black.

Messy buns, high ponytails, curtain bangs + sleek styles.

Fashion

Fur coats + fur details that give off trophy wife energy.

Sterling sliver and pretty gold accessories

Bow details

Victoria Secret silk pajama sets + slippers

La Perla and Agent Provocateur lingerie pieces

Tote bags or top handle bags. Find bags with lots of space so you can fill it with travel sized lotion, moisturizer and hand sanitizer.

Knitted cashmere sweaters with a turtleneck to look elegant and cozy.

Velour tracksuits

Fuzzy lounge wear sets + lounge cardigans to wear around the house.

Ear muffs

Pearl + diamond statement pieces

Fluffy slippers

Pink, cream, brown, black + dark denim.

Cheetah and leopard print staple pieces

Small + thick gold hoops

Gloves with a fur trim

Ankle boots + luxurious high heels. Flats for busy days when you’re on your feet like at work.

Essentials

Booked spa, hair and nail appointments

Cozy comforter + blankets

Car maintenance

Snow boots

Invest in bubble bath soaps, bath salts + candles for a relaxing night in.

Buy new calendars, planners + stationary.

Purchase new dishes, silverware and mugs for holiday hosting.

Holiday decor

Thick tights, leggings, leg warmers + undershirts

Uggs

Thermo cups

Cold/flu medicine

Umbrella

Tea + tea brewer

Lip balm

[strawberryfairi]

Haruchiyo Sanzu | Date Night!🩷

Haru X Black Fem! Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️)

You had a special dinner date tonight with your boyfriend Haruchiyo, and you wanted a different look now that your french curl braids were taken out. Deciding for the quick and easy route, you get out one of your special occasion wigs, a deep midnight blue body wave wig with curtain bangs. You loved the way this hair framed your face, and the midnight blue was such a unique look as opposed to the standard 1B (black) color.

You're getting ready in the bathroom, all your wig products and makeup items splayed across the sink and even the closed toilet seat. Your date night playlist was blasting, an excited smile plastered across your lips as you prepare for a fun night.

Suddenly your phone rings...

Haru💖

Your smile widens as you reach for your phone, the music turning off as your phone was connected to your speaker.

"Hey baaabe! What's goin-

"What happened to your hair!?" He cuts you off, mouth hanging wide open as he gawks at you through the screen.

"What'chu mean? I'm doing it right now." You furrow your brows, trying not to laugh at the expression on his cute face.

"But...you had-..why'd you go and re-dye it? What happened to all your braids?!" He asks completely bewildered.

"Stop...." You deadpan, "Do not start again with this."

"I-..."

"Now Haru..." You warn, narrowing your eyes as you still try not to laugh.

"Babe, you know damn well this is a wig! I took my braids out-the fake hair-and put my hair up for this wig you see me with right now." You explain slowly, giggling a little as you watch the cogs turning in his head.

Somehow even after all this time together (a year and seven months), Haru still hasn't fully clicked into how versatile and changeable black hair really is. It throws him off when you go from faux locs to your natural afro, then suddenly bust out a wig like right now. He tries so hard to keep up too, it's so sweet.

You remember the days where you had to start with the absolute basics. The day you two met he'd spoken to you first, complimenting your hair and wondering how you got it to be so "fluffy". It was in it's natural state that day, a simple high puff ponytail with your edges laid. You tried so hard not to laugh at his awestruck expression when you explained it's naturally "fluffy". Then the rest was history...

"So...you didn't dye your hair?" He asks, raising a brow.

"No baby, none of this is mine. I haven't had my natural hair out since last month." You explain with a smile, setting the phone down on the sink to continue with your hair.

"Well shit, I like it! It frames your face well." He compliments with a proud smile.

"Thank you!" You grin, giving him cheesy air kisses.

"I'm gonna pick you up soon; be there around seven thirty."

"K!" You beam, heart fluttering in excitement.

"I love you baby! Oh, I'm takin' you somewhere new this time; you'll love it." He grins.

"Aaaaw ok! I love you too, Haru! See you soon."

[camestela]

a list of interesting things and thoughts of my week:

went to a french restaurant for an office lunch, it was so lovely, i had a wonderful salad

decided to grow out my fringe, will be keeping some subtle curtain bangs for a change

met up with friends, made pumpkin soup and learned to crochet. We are making matching bags

went out for coffee with a new, good friend, lovely.

dreamed i was dating daisy edgar jones

realized and finally felt like it's best to just let them go, to not care at all about them i've spent way too many years trying and it's not worth it

a walk is always a good idea

so is going to the gym and listen to horror podcasts on the treadmill

need to remember to reapply lotion for my hands

got so much more of my brain space back now that i don't log into twitter anymore

[bermudianabroad]

2024 Reading Roundup

Finally getting around to (semi)thoughtful thoughts about the books what I read last year.

But first I'm going to indulge in some stats chat: one thing I'm interested in is how often I pick up works in translation and this year, only 8% were originally published in a language other than English (Japanese x2, Korean, Arabic and Spanish). Looking back at previous years, I've been hovering around 14% so this sort of surprised me. Have a loose goal of aiming for around a quarter of the books I read to be translated (for no particular reason, just keeps things varied and interesting).

And zero poetry this year. Usually I revisit old favourites, but nope. No change with number of non fiction books: just under 20%.

Still using the library more than any other means, but as usual, of the 18 books I purchased, I read... 7 lol. I'll get around to them eventually, I swear.

Started using audiobooks more often this year, but found I'd get partway through before swapping to print. Particularly for fiction. Spoken fiction just doesn't stick in my head. Non fiction does though. For whatever reason I find it easier to listen to and digest.

Now for opinions. Narrowed down my favourites to these:

The Vaster Wilds by Lauren Groff: This was hypnotic. Read it in a day pretty much, just got sucked in and stayed there. Transcendental fever dream. And my view of it was probably shaped by going to see the author just after and hearing her thoughts about it. A little peak behind the curtain that inhanced the experience. I enjoyed how it subverted elements of the survival narrative (nature as something to be overcome; nature's 'cruel indifference' as it's own kind of freedom.) I'll be banging the Vaster Wilds drum for a while yet.

James by Percival Everett: I listened to the audiobook and the voice actor... (need to look him up) was fantastic. Really expressive in a way that wasn't.... encumbered by the weight of the subject matter. Still, it's one I would like to revisit in print as I found myself having to rewind and relisten often. Haven't read Huck Finn, but I don't think that was to my disadvantage. It stood on it's own. Strikes a fine balance with the humour in moments of profound darkness.

Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh: delightfully weird gothic horror. Ergot poisoning wrecks havoc in a small French town in the 1950s. Told from the POV of the baker's wife, who becomes obsessed with the new ambassador's wife. Sensual shenanigans ensue amid uneasy visions. Non linear, and a touch confusing at times, but certainly worth the effort. Very memorable.

Midnight in Chernobyl by Adam Higginbotham: Non fiction. I came away from this feeling as though a) I truly understood how a nuclear power plant works, and b) I could talk intelligently about how a nuclear power plant works. That's a feat pulled off with no little skill, so kudos to Higginbotham's writing talent. He manages to make dry blueprint facts thrilling, while never sensationalising the very real human cost and impact of the disaster. Certified Higginbotham fangirl now, especially after reading Challenger as well.

And as an aside, I appreciate this very specific niche he's filling, writing about Major Events of 1986 That Happened Only Weeks Apart. Curious to know if he keeps it up with his next book.

Special Mentions to:

Minor Detail by Adania Shibli: Not an easy read, technically and in terms of subject, but it stuck with me long after I read it. At first the writing style comes across as very dry and... monotone, but even saying that seems deceptively simple. On a sentence level, there was something really interesting about how Shilbli maintains dread and tension. Maybe a difficult to recommend outright, but worth exploring all the same.

Cahokia Jazz by Francis Spufford: more intrigued by the premise than the execution with this one. Homage to classic noir, and very well done in that respect, with some alternative timeline, branching history thrown in. Cahokia is a city state within the US, under indigenous government/monarchy, and our hard boiled detective becomes embroiled in grim and shady politics. Some plot points seemed lifted straight out of Chinatown (not a dig) and a great deal of it was compelling, but it sagged between striking visuals. Much focus ended up being on the movement of characters between scenes.

West by Carys Davies and Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan were both polished little gems. West was charming, if ultimately tragic, and Small Things tragic, with an air of hope.

Glitterland by Alexis Hall was another audiobook and one that surprised me utterly. Chalk and cheese romance between a fluff headed model and a struggling in every sense of the word novelist. It goes BIG on the emotions but still managed to be sweet, not cloying.

And finally Special Mention, But Only Because I Hate Read Them: The Coddling of the Anxious Folk etc etc. by Haidt et al. Cherry picked anecdata galore! Basically sensible 'All Things in Moderation' advice dressed up as sneering moral panic. If Books Could Kill did focus episodes on each of these, so recommend listening to them instead.

[christinescupofcoffee]

dead man walking

chapter fourteen: room for one more

Darkness covered the entirety of the catwalk as Alex led Krista over the grated floor: she kept her free hand rested upon her lower belly out of mere instinct. It was ten minutes to show time and they both had to at least see what was going on down below them, without the premise of their ducking into the dressing room and into their business. Behind the curtain, Alex made sight of the crown of Charlie's head. Right before him was Dan and his lengthy bangs, which he had grown out with the passage of time: soon, he would be able to pin them back much like Alex himself just prior to when he left Testament. Indeed, Alex craned his neck and held onto the railing for a better view of them back there.

“What a view, right?” Krista declared right then.

“Oh, yeah...” He paid more attention to what was going on behind the curtain, however. Charlie moved about back there as if he was in search of something whereas Dan was perfectly content to sit alone with his guitar pounced across his lap. With the darkness over him, he was able to move up the catwalk for a better view of that backstage area: he scanned what little he could see for any sign of Scott or Frank or John, any sign of a shiny bald head, or wavy dark Italian hair, or smooth mousy hair. All three of those men never appeared one time back there.

A few minutes before the show's beginning and those three men were nowhere to be seen.

He returned to Krista and her hand rested upon her stomach and the look of concern plastered across her face.

“See anything?” she asked him, to which he shook his head.

“I can barely see anything as is,” he replied, “but I could see Charlie and Danny back there, though. Just chilling back there before the show starts, really.”

He glanced off to the left for a view of the audience down below. The seats had filled up and filled out without any sort of struggle with all those British fans. They took their metal to heart over there in Europe, especially if the crowds to see Testament and Anthrax when Joey sang with them were anything to go by, and down below them was no different. Alex spotted a couple of Polish flags as well as French and Irish flags. Sometimes, during festivals, he would see flags from countries he never expected to see before like Macedonia out there in the vast stretch of crowd. It wasn't until Metallica crossed the Iron Curtain when they followed suit and he saw the old Polish flag as well the Ukrainian one out there. To see fans from all around the world to see their favorite band left him with a soft feeling inside of his heart and a little smile on his face.

“Like old times,” Krista remarked with a smile on her face.

“Exactly like old times,” he said as he took another glimpse to the right once again. Charlie and Dan had disappeared and the lights turned down low back there. Something about the very sight of the darkness back there left a little pit in his stomach, especially when he had missed the other three that whole entire time.

“I've got a weird feeling about all of this, Krista,” he told her, and he though back to their original question and why Charlie even brought them up there to the catwalk in the first place.

Right beneath them, the lights switched to a rich royal blue before they bled away to darkness as well. The crowd next to them erupted into a deafening roar, such that Alex bowed his head a bit and clasped a hand to his ear. Krista never moved a muscle however.

“I forget how loud the British crowds are,” he told her in the loudest voice he could do, and she nodded in agreement. Through the darkness, he spotted the biggest of the Polish flags as it waved with a pale silhouette: the white field only appeared in its pearlescent form to him.

He and Krista then glanced down at the grating in unison as the lights glimmered back onto that royal blue color. He recognized Charlie's buzz cut as he ducked behind his drum kit, raised up right there in the center of the stage. Right beneath them as well.

The very position of the catwalk worsened the pit in his stomach: he clasped a hand to his head to steady his balance but he still looked down regardless of the sickly feeling inside of him. He still took a glimpse down below them to Frank's long dark waves as he breezed past the drum kit for his bass. Dan followed suit right behind them, as well as Scott and the sheen at the crown of his head. John emerged from the right side of the stage, and from right underneath Krista: his long smooth hair flowed behind him like a flag.

Alex caught a quick whiff of that pine smell again, but on the other hand, for all he knew, it merely came from a piece of pine.

But then again, he only caught a smell of it when John strode up on stage.

“Hello, England!” he bellowed into the microphone. Such an odd feeling to hear his voice through the microphone rather than Joey at that point. He knew that Joey drifted through the rafters at that moment, even though he was met with the mere darkness brought on by the lights beneath him and Krista's feet. Alex clasped a hand to his brow again, to which she turned to him and huddled closer to him.

“Are you okay?” she asked him over the noise barrier which already began to form around them.

“Yeah, it's just—kinda high up is all,” he replied with a sickly little smile on his face.

“I see some Polish flags in the background there,” Scott joined in on his microphone. “How 'bout that, John?”

“That's awesome, Scott,” he replied. “It's always nice to see people from a place like that rise up and come and witness metal in person like this.”

The crowd replied with a round of applause: Alex shook his head and he peered over the rail again. The mere height of it, the realization that he stood thirty feet right over John and Scott, only added to the sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“This first song is from our new album,” John announced to the crowd before them, “called Sound of White Noise—it's for all you Polish fans out there and anyone who comes to see us from a place of oppression like that. It's called 'Room for One More'!”

Dan and Scott led the way with the riff, and Frank lingered right behind them with that monstrous bass. Meanwhile, Charlie drove the whole mood of it all with his thundering drums; even though they stood above the stage, the kick drums pounded Alex in the chest and Krista right in the thick of her womb. The very sound of it only added to the dizzy sensation inside of Alex's head. He shook his head about as John let out those searing vocals.

A mosh pit already began to form right beneath them, much to Alex's chagrin.

“Alex, look!” Krista gestured to the edge of the room: through the bright glow of the blue and golden lights right below them, he spotted George the Irishman next to a woman with dark lenses over her eyes. He shook his head and turned back to her.

“What am I looking at?” he asked her in a loud enough voice.

“Mrs. Jones!” she declared.

“Holy fuck,” he blurted out as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. “I can't take this anymore.”

“What's wrong?”

“I'm dizzy!” He lurched forward but then he clasped onto the rail with his other hand. His sudden movement made the catwalk jolt a bit, such that Krista clutched onto the rail herself.

“Uh oh—” he blurted out again.

“What do we do?” she quipped. He held still and, out of the corner of his eye, he swore that some part of the catwalk gave out from underneath him.

“Alex, what do we do?” she asked him again.

“Back up—” he told her in a loud voice over John's singing. “Slowly.”

Careful not to lose her balance and trip on her own feet, Krista backed up along the catwalk: she kept her hands over the railing in the case of her losing her balance herself. Alex loomed right before her as he walked in a straight forward direction to the end closest to them, back in the direction of that cart with the cleaning supplies.

She took another step and she hit firm carpeted floor behind her. She then turned around as Dan launched into a loud screech of a solo; Alex almost face planted right into the carpet but he caught himself on the wall to his left. Krista turned back to him as he gathered himself and let out a long low whistle.

“That was close,” he said and he put his arms around her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. That just—scared me is all.”

“I just got so dizzy standing there,” he told her. “Between the height and the lights below us, it was all getting to me.”

She patted the sides of his face with both hands and then she massaged his shoulders.

“Why would Mrs. Jones even be here?” he asked her. “I thought you said that she's blind, isn't she?”

“She is,” she replied, “—but what she lacks in her stone blindness, she makes up in her other four senses. I saw her wrinkle her nose a bit, too, like some kind of rank smell bothered her.”

“By the way, I did smell turpentine again, after all,” he pointed out. “Just a little whiff of it, but I did smell it. That pine smell with a bit of chemical behind it. I looked up above us and all I saw were the rafters.”

“Maybe that's why you got dizzy again, too,” she told him.

“Maybe. Who knows, really. I just can't out there again. I thought I was going to fall over the railing.”

He turned to her with his hands pressed to his hips and his lips pursed. All the pieces before them, and all it took was a bit of glue to bring the whole thing together for them.

“I also got this ghoulish feeling while you and I were standing there, too,” she spoke again.

“Ghoulish? Like, how so?”

“Like something else with us there.” She shivered and adjusted the lapels of her coat even though the blast of warm air grazed the crowns of their heads.

“You know, it's funny—I pictured Joey there in the rafters before us. In all his ghostly form no less.”

“I did, too!” she admitted. “I thought, 'Joey is looking down on us right now.' What if he possessed you?”

Alex rolled his eyes at that.

“Joey didn't possess me,” he scoffed at that. “It may be Christmas and Hanukkah season, but I assure you there aren't ghosts for that sort of thing around here.”

“Maybe he knocked you over the head,” she teased him, and he rolled his eyes again.

“Again,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows. “I'm agnostic, Kris. Whaddya want?”

“To have a little fun now and again,” she said, “we're taking the whole thing into our hands and investigating the death of my fiance and the father of my baby. You and I could stand to loosen up again with what we have.”

“I've met people in the music industry who take the whole entire thing so seriously,” he pointed out, “so I totally get that with that context.”

“That said, we have got to do something, Alex,” she told him.

“Yeah, we really do,” he replied. “What's their next stop? Spain?”

“I think so. There's always room for more snooping over there, mind you, Alex.”

“Yeah, and things like cocaine are legal over there, too.”

“You don't think—” She stopped and then he frowned. The two of them shook her heads in unison.

“Mere speculation,” he pointed out at a fast clip.

“Nothing but speculation,” she said with another shake of her head.

“It's still worth a shot, however,” he stated.

“Absolutely. And you've got time as well.”

He turned to her with his eyes squinted.

“I say we check out of our hotel tonight and then bounce on over there,” he suggested. “I just—have an odd feeling about all of this.”

“Let's go to the back of the theater, too,” she added. “I feel like we'll see some things back there once the show's over.”

And he nodded at that. He shook his head to keep the dizzy feeling at bay given he was back on a solid floor once more.

As Krista led him back to the green room, they both caught the searing roar that was James Hetfield's voice right through the overhead speaker. She also caught a whiff of turpentine herself there in the hallway. That woody smell mixed with a touch of chemical, as if it had been soaked through rubbing alcohol. As if someone painted with oils right there in that very corridor and used a small cup straight from the bottle.

They passed the green room and then, side by side, they descended the stairs to the lobby floor, which stood deserted despite the sheer amount of people in that theater. Alex shook his head again and then he lunged for the front doors, and he held it open for Krista. She showed him a smile before she stepped out to the cold black night out there before them. He then caught up with her as they strode to the corner of the theater together; back to that alleyway where they were earlier that day.

Krista took a peek down the alleyway herself and then Alex peered around her for a look himself. Shadows blanketed the alleyway, such that he knew that would protect them both from prying eyes. He glanced over his shoulder to ensure no one else was there with them, and then she ducked in there for a round of spying on her part.

Even though nothing lay on the ground before them, she still clung close to the wall in the case of either of them bringing attention to themselves with something as trivial as a trash can lid. Alex lingered right behind her: every so often, he peered over his shoulder again, and every single time, no one lurked behind them, but the pit in his stomach still had its place there. Krista reached the corner first and she clung to the edge of the wall for a view back there.

Alex joined her for a look at nothing more than a stretch of concrete lined with a chain link fence and a protected metal generator to keep the lights inside there on. Meanwhile, the sole light came from the pale yellow stray light bulb over the back door in front of them. Through the pale light, Anthrax's truck loomed right next to the curb on the other side of the concrete. Even with the darkness that surrounded them, Alex still lingered back lest someone back there see him or Krista.

Given the show barely started, he knew that they would be there a while, unless someone stumbled out of the back door on the other side of the building there. Charlie's kick drum thundered through the wall next to them: every so often, Alex could hear John's voice or Frank's bass on the other side of the bricks, but that drum pounded into his head and his chest like a big heavy steady sledgehammer. That pounding noise did nothing to help with the dizzy sensation in his head or the uneasy feeling in his stomach.

A door on the other side of the building slammed shut and someone stumbled out of there.

“Come along—” Alex recognized George's brogue even from around the corner. Though the woman spoke with a soft voice, he caught that Australian accent once again.

“George is with Mrs. Jones?” he whispered to Krista.

“It's hard to tell,” she confessed with a quick glimpse back at him.

“Quite—especially when I've never met Mrs. Jones, either. Is she Aussie?”

“New Zealander,” she replied. “They're similar to each other, though.”

The woman said something and then George laughed.

“Oh, yeah, I could definitely make sumthin' for you, my dear,” he promised her.

“Make something,” Alex echoed it in a soft whisper.

“Like what?” Krista wondered aloud.

The woman said something else and George laughed again.

“We'll take ya t' Spain and then t' France an' we'll see about 't,” he continued on. “Make a li'l bit o' green all th' while, too.”

The woman said something.

“How much? I'm feelin' at least fifty quid for th' turpentine alone.”

“Turpentine,” Alex muttered.

The woman said something.

“Oh, yeah, it's definitely a solvent—you don't wanna use it that much,” George explained.

The woman said something, and Alex caught the word “knife” in there, which made his heart skip several beats.

“Yah, it's in th' frohnt room in th' lohbby,” he replied. “I put 't there 'cause I had nowhere else, t' be honest.”

The woman said something and he laughed again.

“I like m' knife,” George insisted. “'t cuts wonderfully, even wit' its sheer size.”

The woman said something.

“Oh, yah,” he continued, “sohmetimes it can be a bit o' overkill, but I like m' knife.”

Krista looked back at Alex: through the dim light, he made out the sight of fear in her eyes. The very sight of her sent a chill up his spine.

“This is killing me,” he confessed to her.

“Me, too,” she replied.

One of the crew members said something to George and the woman right then.

“Oh, yah, sohmetimes I like t' play blackjack once in a while,” he declared.

“Blackjack,” Krista echoed him.

“Like—actual blackjack?” Alex asked her.

“I dunno,” she replied.

“Play blackjack wit' a knife?” George chuckled. “Nah. I'm sure they do on th' West Coast, though.”

The crew member said something right then.

“Oh, yah, this is my girlfriend Ginny,” he replied, “from Tasmania.”

Krista peered back at Alex with her eyebrows knitted together.

“That's got to be a coincidence,” he said.

“It has to,” she added.

The crew member said something.

“She can't see too well,” George replied, and the woman added something. Krista leaned in for a better listening but her voice was far too soft. Alex closed his eyes to try it out for himself, but it was futile especially when the crew person's voice carried in the opposite direction and Charlie employed the blast beats on the other side of the bricks.

“What do I do?” George declared. “I'm a dealer!”

Krista gaped at Alex again, who opened his eyes.

“A dealer!” she echoed in a hushed voice.

“Shh shh shh—” He patted her shoulder given George said something. “Damn it, we missed it.”

“Missed what?” she asked him.

“What kind of dealer he is,” he clarified. “He just said it.”

“God damn it,” she muttered.

“What are the two of you doing here?” a low voice behind them demanded. They both whirled around and through the darkness in the alleyway, Peter towered over the both of them. Alex put his arm over Krista's body as if to protect her, but Peter chuckled at them.

“What's it look like?” Alex sputtered.

“It looks like the two of you are stalking the band,” Peter calmly replied. The reflection from the pale light cast a glow over his pallid face, which in turn made him appear even more pale than in reality. His jet black hair appeared even darker against the black tapestry of the sky overhead. Alex's bottom lip trembled at the mere sight of him and Krista clutched at herself. At the same time, by the mere sight of him, they hoped that he would go easy on them.