#like eileen is a separate person/character/etc.

[angelsdean]

I don't get the part of fandom that highlights Dean's supposed codependancy with Sam: he lets him alone x years when Sam was at Stanford, he brings him back to Jess at the end of the Pilot, he is happy to roadtrip with and without Cas in s5 and comes back only because he worries Sam is going to accept to be Lucifer's vessel, etc, etc, etc.

(And there is also Demon!Dean who is like "Fuch responsabilities" lmao)

yea it's like. very clear textually that dean can and will give sam space to live whatever life he wants. even in 1x11 Scarecrow, sam wants to go to california to find john, dean wants to stay and solve the case, he lets sam go !! sam later calls him and dean updates him on the case the the research he's doing bc he doesn't have his nerd brother (putting himself down, self-deprecating as dean is abt his own intelligence even tho he's SO smart) and sam's like joking "oh is this you hinting you need my help" and dean's like, straight up, listen i'm not hinting anything, tells him how proud he is of sam, but i also doesn't beg him to come back, basically tells him to keep doing his own this and to "take care of yourself and call me when you find dad."

sam's often the one projecting or putting words in dean's mouth like "you can't stand being alone!!" at stuff like, not letting sam die ??? not letting your loved one die is being selfish and means you don't wanna be alone ??? in what world. most people will do whatever they can to save a loved one, esp when you're living in a literal horror fantasy show and not like, a basic family drama. and sam will say stuff like but also will do risky things to save dean. hell his plan to save dean from the mark put charlie directly in danger and lead to her death. so like sam is not one to talk abt being "selfish" to save each other. and simply wanting your brother alive is not a bad thing. nor does it mean you can't stand to have separate lives / be alone. though dean very much does not want to be alone, but. he has friends and family outside of sam. he has love interests and people he could build a life with. looking at the relationships on this show you see dean have so many closer bonds with other characters and then sam is notably lacking in comparison. rowena and eileen are the only two recurring characters (off the top of my head) that feel like sam characters. people that are there mainly due to their personal ties to sam. and yea they have lots of joint friends, like gath, jody, donna, etc but even then sometimes it feels like they're closer to dean. sam feels very lonely (and it breaks my heart really) and so a lot of the things he says abt dean and their co-dependency really feels like some projection of sam's own feelings.

anyways this got long and rambly but yea, dean tells us over and over again that he's good with letting sam do his own thing. that he's good with having space and separate lives. the main thing he wants really is just, sam alive. he wants his family and friends alive !!! because he loves them !!!

[animation-is-my-jam]

Aside from ToBecky what would be your favorite Becky or Tobey ship respectively? As in hypothetically you didnt ship themn?

Thanks for the ask! But YOO, this is an interesting one (・o・)

I have thought about this before, mostly when I wasn't confident in shipping tobecky yet and seeing the different pairings back in like 2018 lmao. I think overall, before I went full tobecky brain rot, I was a Scoobey or Sciolecky (Scoops x Becky x Violet) person. The art at the time of those dynamics was so soft, and it was sweet. But unfortunately, tobecky quickly took over 💀

But in the current time, what would I ship? Or what dynamics would I prefer for the respective characters? (Tobey and Becky)

Tobey is the easiest because I think personally it's a semi tie between Scoops and Rose. And before anyone says anything about Rose and Tobey considering my hcs, I purely see it as one-sided!! I just have a laugh over the thought of Tobey liking another brunette with a sense of her own ego and pride.

Scoobey survived in my Tobey pairings. Idk I just think it has a lot of solid fanon ideas, plus I can see them being so messy and dysfunctional. My personal favorite type of Scoobey is them as a married couple in their thirties, Scoops being the cheerful, optimistic husband contrasting Tobey’s emo-ness and antisocial tendencies. The odd couple in the neighborhood.

For Becky? That's a difficult one. Ppl would assume vibecky considering my other preferences in ships of liking friends to lovers better, and of course, the number of lesbians in future AU lol. But unfortunately, I love the gray aro Violet headcanon too much that Violet ships I don't pay much attention to unless their just platonic, and its for fun.

Another ppl would think is Bectoria because of my fanfiction and how I always have in my headcanons of Victoria secretly crushing on Becky, but i explained in another Becky ships Ask that while I like Bectoria and see it's potential. It's always gonna be the other Victoria ship for me personally. I also kinda make a point in my fic on why there would be a downside to it, but other than that, it's a good ship, but not one I actively think about.

I know that Rose x Becky also became a newer ship, and that one is also very cute. And I defended Scoobecky last Ask, so yall know my thoughts about them. Hmm... I guess out of these options, I would honestly go for either RosexBecky or Scoobecky. And i still have some love for the Scoops/Violet/Becky ship. I know that's a very flimsy response, but it's the most honest if i had to pick other Becky ships to be my favorites.

(This is just me getting other questions about this outta the way)

Bonus: (What about Victoria x Tobey? or Tobey x Violet?) They thematically both are very interesting, BUT...this is just a PERSONAL pet peeve of mine that they just look too blonde next to each other...that makes sense, right? Like, idk I get blinded by the yellow and end up lost.

Extra Bonus: (What about Becky with other school characters?) (Hunter, Emma, Eugene, Chazz, etc...) That's all fun to think about, but unfortunately, the other woodview kids don't have much character to go on for me to care (plus who would ever separate Emma and Eugene!) That also applies to the game show trio, Emily, Tommy, Phil. They definitely have more personality than other students, but besides Tommy, I don't see Becky having much chemistry with them. And everyone knows her true pairing is with a random girl in the pink sweater she saved that one time/j

Extra Extra Bonus: (Eileen?) Ohh yeah, I forgot! Um..not really for either of them. I get the feeling that while neither Becky nor Tobey hate Eileen, I don't think they like her either. She's just too much for either of them. I do think Eileen probably could have a small crush on Becky, but beyond that, I don't think about shipping Eileen with anyone, not everyone has to be shipped.

[aparticularbandit]

luisa refuses to leave you while they stitch the gaping hole in your arm.  the false you’s bullet grazed your shoulder.  she traces her fingers across the stitching once. ascertaining herself of the other doctor’s work, whispers it won’t scar.  as if you don’t know.  as if that hadn’t been part and parcel of your foolproof plan.

(your body must not bear scars. they become identification marks, just like birthmarks or beauty marks.  your stepmother’s voice echoes, reverberating around your skull: you are perfect, unmarked.  you can be anyone.  everyone.

and so you have been.)

they’d given luisa valium to calm her shaking nerves.  you forego your own pain pills, feigning swallowing them.  you don’t want the potential loopiness, don’t want what you might say if you let yourself be too free with your words.  luisa asks to watch over you and drags you back to the marbella with her.  i’m a medical doctor, she says.  i’ve got you.  i’ll be your own personal nurse.  but that’s before the valium hits, and in the end, you are watching her just as much as she is watching you.

she curls up next to you, resting her head on your breast, and wraps both arms around you as though you are her own personal pillow.  you might as well be, but warmer, as she likes to mumble as her hold tightens on your waist.  it’s not the first time she’s said it, although it’s the first time she’s said it to you as you are, in this form, in this mask.  even without a mask, rose solano was a mask.  anything that’s not you is.

your fingers brush through her dark hair, and when her breathing evens out and her heartbeat slows, when her murmurs cease and her eyes flutter closed, you use your unharmed arm to remove your uncomfortable mask.  you shift against her pillows, forcing yourself to remain propped up, and press the gentlest kiss you can to her forehead.  her nose wrinkles, even in her sleep, and she asks, whispers your name, “rose?”

you untape your voice.  “you’re dreaming, luisa.”

her eyes flicker open, and she sees your face through a drugged haze.  “i thought you died.”

“did you?”

her gaze narrows, eyes squinting. “you don’t look the same.  i think i’m—“  she shuts her eyes tight.  “you’re not real.”

but your fingers brush through the tangles in her hair, and you replace your voice.  “who’s not real, luisa?”  you know she won’t open her eyes.  she doesn’t want to look and see someone who isn’t there.  she doesn’t want to see you.  you’re dead.

you have been for a while. much longer than those hours she thinks.

“rose, i—“

your uncomfortable mask and wig are back when she finally opens her eyes the smallest peep, trying, scanning to make sure you’re you.  well.  not you. the you she expects to see.  the you that isn’t really you at all, except in these brief moments with her when you let yourself simply be.  (it’s harder. you know she doesn’t want you. you want to respect that.  not because you want to respect that but because she does.)

she sees susanna’s face and she shakes her head.  “i think i’m seeing things.”

“it was just a dream, sugar.”

you hate this voice, hate the southern country twang curling around your own dulcet tones.

luisa nods against your chest, voice a soft mmhmm of agreement.  “ok.”  then she’s asleep again.

you know better than to let yourself sleep, but you finally doze off, fingers tracing along the line of her spine.

[spnrarepairbunker]

SPN Rare Pair Bunker presents: SPN RarePairTober 2021

It’s a month-long, mixed media event celebrating rare ships of the CW's Supernatural

Similar to other October events that you might be familiar with, Rarepairtober will take place throughout the whole month of October. Below you'll find 31 double prompts to create your works for.

The challenge is open to everyone, whether you’re a part of our discord server or not (but you’re welcome to join us here :))

General Rules:

Double prompts consist of a rare ship prompt and a word/phrase prompt. Those can be used combined together, or separately—meaning you can create for the ship without including the word prompt or use the word prompt and create for any rare ship you like

We encourage experimenting with different ships, but if you'd rather write 31 fics for the same pairing, that's alright, too!

You can create for as many or as few prompts as you like. Even just one work is great

The prompts do not have to be filled in order

You can mix this event with other events as long as their rules allow it

Varied forms of creativity are allowed, such as fanfic, visual art, videos, playlists etc

When posting, mention @spnrarepairbunker in the post and tag #spnrarepairtober within the first five tags to make sure we can find your post

Content:

Works about Supernatural only

Must be centered on a rare pair (although romance doesn’t have to be the focus)

Ships considered rare are any ships except for destiel, wincest, and sabriel

There is no minimum or maximum word count for fics

All ratings are fine, but they must be appropriately tagged

No sexual content involving characters under 18

No RPF, reader-insert or ships with OCs

In the header/description, state: pairing, rating and common warnings/triggers, the prompt and its number

If you post to ao3, add your works to our collection: SPNRarePairTober2021 

We aim to reblog all the works. If we don’t reblog yours within three days, feel free to shoot us an ask about it. We reserve the right not to reblog things we find inappropriate.

PROMPTS:

dean x benny || bad moon

jesse x cesar || laughter in the dark

sam x jess || fake love

gabriel x rowena || haunted person

cas x balthazar || striped suspenders

charlie x dorothy || peace offering

dean x lisa || turn back time

crowley x michael || mutually assured destruction

sam x eileen || secret society

bobby x ellen || colorful

cas x benny || blooming flowers

donna x jody || first death

dean x cain || mismatched socks

adam x michael || horror movies marathon

sam x sarah || unbreakable bond

dean x donna || completely ordinary

gabriel x kali || love lost

cas x crowley || quantum physics

claire x kaia || fool me once

dean x victor || fallen leaves

mick x ketch || running out of time

sam x gadreel || different page

bess x garth || blood oath

cas x hannah || broken home

abaddon x bela || tongue tied

dean x crowley || wolf in sheep’s clothes

bobby x rufus || ashes to ashes

sam x amelia || haunted painting

charlie x gilda || euphoria

cas x meg || deal with the devil

dean x aaron || graveyard dance

[samwinchesterism]

Jared really gets under these minions skin 😂 honestly if my fav was misha and I had to watch Jared employed, being the main spn character, having Jensen move across the country to be beside him, have more fans, money, another job lined up, being adored by multiple people in the industry that aren't just spn cast, starting yana first etc. Its not Jareds fault that God blessed him with such luck and prosperity babes, he can't help that everyone around him seems to adore him.

ok i guess we’re doing actor drama today! full disclosure, when i came back to spin i wanted to focus less on the actors bc i’m a grownup now and despite being very in love with jared padalecki as a teenager i was like i will keep only a healthy distant respect and fondness for them, BUT after seeing my boy jared be so unfairly and constantly hated on in 2021 spn hell, i can’t help but be in his corner bc it’s so ridiculous and also maybe i’m in a parasocial relationship with him but it’s fine i’m allowed to have one!! but mainly, the way his every single move is scrutinized and interpreted in the most laughably dramatically bad ways is just not sitting right with me bc i just don’t think he’s a bad dude? lol

i honestly don’t even think it’s jealousy, i don’t know what’s going on sometimes lol. i think many of them have convinced themselves that he’s in fact a very bad person who deserves constant vilification (and yeah he’s done some stuff that i don’t necessarily endorse, but most of it is a long time ago and so have the other spn cast members lol and it’s not that deep? like, he’s hot, he’s on a show, i watch it, like, who gives a shit about any of this). anyway i think they think that because of his supposed evil, and because of this narrative that has persisted in the spn fandom for so long because of the reign of dean and destiel that jared is a lesser actor and less talented than jensen and misha, and less important or critical to the success of supernatural (or at least to its longevity), that he doesn’t deserve any “success” that he gets, if they choose to recognize it as success anyway. 

like back in my day, there was enough jared hate going around even back then, and there was a vibe among them that jared simply wouldn’t have a career post-supernatural because he was only being buoyed by the superior talent and higher popularity (in their minds) of jensen and/or misha and whomever, and wouldn’t succeed independently, so i think that narrative falling apart given that walker is quite successful hasn’t been easy for them to digest lol? i saw people legitimately thinking that his career was in trouble and i’m like babe, love him or hate him or don’t care for him, oppose or support his new show, he’s the #1 actor on the #1 show on his network currently, he’s not hurting at all at the moment lol. 

but yeah, he seems to be thriving all around and good for him, honestly lmao

and then the supernatural finale and jared’s comments on it (since nobody wanted to acknowledge jensen’s comments on it, which were also positive) really i think broke their minds lol. first of all, the finale being so deliciously sam-centric and reaffirming sam as THE main character was never gonna be something they would let slide (but GOD the vindication as a long-suffering sam stan!!! i’m still glowing about it!!!!), not with how much this fandom has hated and diminished and sidelined sam, and jared has always been a good scapegoat for their weird conspiracies, since they seem to think he’s the only actor not mistreated by the show or network 

and then jared talking about it... like, he just became a full villain for them at that point lmao, under the guise of “he doesn’t care that dean’s death was traumatic blah blah” (girl how is he supposed to know yall are doing this much over a fictional character) and “he contributes to the erasure of a Deaf character blah blah” for saying that sam shouldn’t have ended up with eileen (a super correct opinion, but that’s a whole separate post lol). so it’s all couched in spurious nonsense that has a cloak of false legitimacy, but i really wish they’d just admit it was about their wretched ship lol. it was always gonna be jared who was gonna be the scapegoat, and idk if this is controversial, but jared being much more widely hated than other cast members is linked to the spn fandom’s longtime marginalization of sam, b/c he, as sam’s actor specifically, was already someone they saw as unimportant and expendable to the show and their enjoyment of it, and many only pretended to care about him/his character so that they wouldn’t be the “bad guys” and would be able to declare themselves the arbiters of all things supernatural since they do care about sam and jared actually even though they diminished him constantly if not outright hated on them both!! so if the opportunity presented itself, they’d be much more willing to throw him under the bus than the other two 

like all this to say, i guess you can hate him all you like, i can’t stop you even if i was inclined to, but like, it’s just a bit much at this point like it’s just wild out here, man 

[aethylas]

For anonymous: a series of answers/clarifications/amendments on The Goldenrod Revisions! (I've answered these all in one post just to make it easier). Thank you so much for the asks, this helped me a) clarify my thoughts b) solve some canon continuity issues so I really appreciate them!

THANK U for agreeing to answer my questions! I'll have to ask them separately so they're not in 1 super-long impossible-to-read ask. I have 3 about 15x19, 1 about 15x20, 2 about 15x21, 2 about 15x22, and 2 about 15x23. quick disclaimer: i don't mean any offense at all by my question count! I didn't even notice these oddities the first time I read this; once I read it and accepted it as the true canon, I took a closer look and then noticed. but plz don't think these made your fic any less great!!

No worries anon! It is literally my pleasure to answer them and I am VERY very happy to find discrepancies with canon in the fic - then I can hopefully fix them and make the fic better :) Also I really appreciate the very systematic way you laid all these out, it really helped me reply, and also subsequently make a couple of edits to the fic!

For 15x19:

1. Why did Chuck trust Michael with the task of killing Jack? As God he should know Michael betrayed him in 15.08; did he expect Michael to disobey him again?

I think in this case we're/Chuck is relying on knowledge from the canon 15.19, i.e. Chuck would assume the outcome predicted by the show - that Michael WOULD betray the Winchesters/the world in order to please his father. So God assumed Michael would act the way he did in Inherit The Earth. But additionally, Chuck isn't actually very keyed-in to his own characters' motivations (esp. when love is involved) or very attached to certain results - he basically sends Michael and Lucifer to kill Jack because he figures it will entertain him no matter what happens - whether Michael and Lucifer kill each other, whether they kill the Winchesters/Jack, etc. - either Jack dies this way or Chuck will think of another way to do it.

2. How was Sam able to kill Lucifer? It was said only an archangel could kill another archangel with the archangel blade; was this a total lie or could Sam do it since he's Lucifer's true vessel? (plz don't change it to have Michael kill him; Sam being the one to do it was perfect, I just wanna understand how he could do it).

So glad you raised this because I honestly totally forgot! But now that you have, I have corrected that lore continuity with a line about biblical metaphors.

3. How is Rowena alive? She said she was dead in 15.08, so I initially assumed as a witch and the Queen of Hell she found a way to travel between Hell and Earth despite being dead. But then Sam says "Michael could've killed you" and then Chuck kills her twice in 15.21, both of which indicate she's alive here - does this mean Michael resurrected her when she summoned him?

God okay this is like - please call me out if this is incorrect or still confusing - but it's kind of like, based on the very inconsistent and confusing lore of the SPN afterlife that I assume Rowena is 'dead' but also 'alive' in the sense that Crowley was 'alive' and is now 'dead'. Does that make sense? She's not 'alive' as a human but rather as a demon (or something like it). So as Queen of Hell and a presumably demonic-adjacent entity, when she's 'killed' she gets sent to the Empty now vs. being 'killed' as a human and going to Heaven/Hell. (Based on when we see her in Hell, I assume she possesses her own body? Unclear. Just go with it. They've never been great with what it means to show vessels in Heaven/Hell etc.)

4. I thought asked all I wanted to know about Goldenrod but I just thought of 1 more thing: I don’t get why some dialogue implies Michael was dead? He mentions how he “found himself back on Earth” and tells the Empty it couldn’t stop Chuck from resurrecting him & Lucifer, but prior to 15.19 we last saw Michael leaving the bunker with Adam alive and well in 15.08, and it seemed like he was gonna stay on Earth for Adam’s sake. So what happened to him?

Oh that's a great point! I think that is actually just a confusing choice on my part that Chuck killed absolutely everyone including Michael/Adam in 15.18 Despair and THEN chose to resurrect Michael (but not Adam) alongside Lucifer when he was bored/wanting to kill Jack. I made some slight adjustments in-text to hopefully make it less confusing because I know that's different to the lore of canon 15.19 Inherit the Earth.

For 15x20:

1. How did the angels and demons in the Empty wake up? Did Michael use the last of his grace to wake everyone up? Were they already awake thanks to Jack blowing up in 15x18 or did they somehow sleep through that? (Not expanding on the Empty's claim that "you made it loud" is one of countless things I'll never forgive the actual show for, so THANK YOU for taking the show back to the Empty in the first place; I was just curious about this one element.)

So the Empty was already 'loud' according to canon, but since canon is vague on what exactly that means (thank you writers!...) I got the impression it meant the Empty wasn't 'peaceful' anymore but still powerful enough to suppress the beings inside, like the beings in there were awake and suffering but unable to rebel. Sort of what we see with Cas in this version of 15.20. Maybe like, additional suffering in sleep paralysis? Regardless, Michael does expend his grace to weaken the Empty enough that other beings wake up and/or are able to fight back and exist outside their own personal nightmare chamber. So whatever your impression of 'loud' is with regards to the other beings in there, assume Michael was able to free them from the Empty's control.

For 15x21:

1. Having Jack & Amara take out Hell & Purgatory was a BRILLIANT idea; I love that they ended all the places of suffering and changed the system. I just wonder - what happened to the souls and the demons still in Hell at that point, and the Leviathans and other monsters still in Purgatory? Were they just wiped out completely and sent to the Empty? Or did Jack turn them human and add them to the cycle? (I don't think the show clarified whether or not Leviathans have souls, so...)

No matter whether they were monster or demon or even angel, they would eventually be given human life. I broke it down to 'human enough souls' vs. 'not human enough souls'. Human-enough were immediately brought to life with memories and versions of their original bodies, and not-human-enough were sent to the Soul Queue to be born as infants. I assume Leviathan and most demons fall into 'not human enough', therefore, whatever tiny microbe of personality/soul they had was added to the cycle of rebirth and would be translated to a new human soul. Of course this might have a WILDLY different impact on the world depending on how many people go to hell in this system, how many people were 'human enough', etc.... But we're basically fudging those numbers a bit one way or another just to give certain characters the revival they deserve haha.

2. Did Cas drown and die after Chuck threw him in the lake and Jack left their limbo-dream world? If so, did he go through the same question-&-answer situation with Death that Sam & Dean did? Or was he with Jack & Amara when they rebuilt the world?

Cas was already dead/dying even when he was talking to Jack, he was sort of in a different version of the 'Veil' per se. VERY wishy-washy, but basically he and Jack were on a different dream-plane that they were jolted to in the chaos of the disorganised no-Death world.

I think Cas, Rowena, Lucifer, Michael, etc. as beings who were killed after the snap is a bit ambiguous. Rowena and Lucifer, I think, as entities who were demonic-dead or Empty-level-dead pre-Snap probably went through the reincarnation Yes/No Death questionnaire. Cas and Michael might not have since they were technically 'alive' and human before the Snap. Regardless, I think they probably wouldn't remember the interaction even if they had it.

The reason the question happened to the Winchesters AND that they remember it is Main Character Syndrome... they were the only people left alive when Jack and Amara did a hard reset, and that honestly Death took time to chill/exposition at them because he likes them. Really. Despite all appearances. Or respects them enough to let them know what's gone down, anyway.

Metatextually, it was really just to reaffirm to the audience that Dean (and Sam) want to live, in contrast to 15.20 Carry On 😅

3. Did all the snapped people (Eileen, Adam, the Waywards, etc.) also go through the Death question-&-answer process but not remember it, or did Jack & Amara just send them back?

Snapped people were reset automatically! Normally the new-humans also wouldn't remember their interactions with Death/reapers, just like in canon lore when someone like Dean has a near-death experience.

I realise this whole section and various other lore reformation parts of the fic aren't SUPER clear on specific logistics but on some occasions I'm like, I've done enough info-dumping, I don't want to overwrite exposition. But if you think it's worth clarifying certain points let me know and I can try to do so!

For 15x22:

1. The twenty something blonde guy in sunglasses getting hot tea, is that Belphegor? sure sounds like it but I wanted to confirm.

Yep!

2. Since Death mentioned that Jack only resurrected the angels, demons, and monsters from the Empty who had enough of a soul, and since all the human souls from the Veil went to Heaven as confirmed by Kevin's presence, how exactly are Anna's human parents and Bela alive now?

Great question - 1) I SOMEHOW FORGOT ANNA'S PARENTS DIED? Complete screw up on my part, I don't know how that happened. I fixed this so it's her grandparents now. 2) Bela was sent to Hell as part of her deal, so I was assuming she was a demon by this point in canon (since it would be... MANY Hell-years since she died.) Therefore she had a 'human' enough demon soul to be put back as a human.

3. Oh, and the tall woman with the flyer in 15.22; who is this supposed to be? Hannah I’m guessing?

To be honest I didn't have anyone in particular in mind for that scene; it was kind of a catch-all for missing characters like, it COULD be Hannah. It could be Raphael. Hell, it could be Abbadon. I didn't want to do a full shot of every single person missing from the cast who had died (esp since like - we wouldn't know who they were anyway! Their bodies would be different). So this one is literally just fill-in-the-blank. But if I had to assign a character there I'd say it would probably be one of the more arrogant angels like Raphael or Uriel.

For 15x23:

1. How is Bobby in the Roadhouse with the gang? 10x17 seemed to imply the angels were about to throw him in the dungeons to punish him for helping Cas; did Ash hack him out of prison, or was he never imprisoned at all? Also, is Jack not surprised to see another Bobby in Heaven because the boys already told him there was another Bobby besides the one he knows from Apocalypseverse? (I was half-expecting him to comment about that and confuse Bobby).

Oh that's a great point! I think that's another sort of fill in the blank since it's been five years since 10.17... even if he was in prison of some kind, I think it's likely either Ash helped him get out in the same way he helped everyone else, and since the angels were extremely short-staffed I doubt getting Bobby suitably imprisoned/punished was their top priority. But honestly I'm not super clear on how the angels intended to punish Bobby, I don't think canon is clear either... like, We Just Don't Know.

Finally I'd like to know, has Sam proposed to Eileen yet by the end of the final episode? The script doesn't mention a ring on her finger, and as Sam's fiancee, I'd assume she'd also have carved her name on the table. Sam mentions the innuendos Dean has said "in the past year," so it's been a while since Jack's prayer scene, yet Cas says Dean & Claire's argument was the last time they spoke, and it doesn't seem likely to me that Dean wouldn't call Claire in a year given how close they are...

Nope! I think Sam is saying 'I'm going to marry her' as a declaration of certainty of his feelings and faith in the future, not neccessarily as something that immediately happens. With regards to 'in the past year', that referred to the period when Eileen was alive during s15 as well! I assume Dean did teasing off-screen (and I mean, he did plenty on-screen too.)

I honestly think that Sam and Dean are just very very busy in the aftermath of the events of the 15.20 reset, like they have to deal with the new world AND try to wrangle all these hunters into this new system of collaboration. I didn't put Eileen on the table because she isn't there in the finale and because I do think the Sam/Dean/Cas/Jack family unit was a bit more central and important to the show, but maybe they add her (and any possible kids, if they have any) later on. God, imagine generations of hunters and/or Winchesters carving on that table. Sacred Artefact...

(1) Ok that's all the questions I have. Again, so sorry to blow up your inbox - I really appreciate your willingness to clarify these things! If there are some things you'd rather not explain and leave ambiguous, I totally get that. And in spite of these aforementioned confusing parts, I still ADORE your fic and will continue to read it whenever I feel like re-"watching" how Supernatural really ended! Thank you so much!! .... (2) I’m SO sorry to overload u! I know I asked a lot and I didn’t mean to sound like a hater saying “none of ur story makes sense”; that’s not what I meant at all! If this was a regular good ol fix it fic I wouldn’t have said anything but since u said u wanted it to wrap up the show as replacement canon, I thought maybe I should point out places that didn’t line up. But take as MUCH time as you need! Good for you working to meet your deadlines; I hope you succeeded!! And again I really appreciate you taking the time to answer whenever you have time—absolutely no rush!! Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend!!!

Anon thank you SO SO much for all these questions, as you can see it really helped me identify problems or straight up errors in my work wrt continuity and I'm so happy that means I can improve it. If any of the answers weren't clear or you think I should modify the fic to make certain things clearer than they are right now (other than the things I said I'd fix in-text for sure) let me know! It's really been a pleasure answering them too, I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to it, I actually went back and proofed/edited the whole fic as part of adding some of these corrections in (and that took like... three weeks...) and as you said, it's very important to me to get it as true to canon as possible so - yeah, just, once again, thank you!! You're wonderful! ♥♥♥

[amwritingmeta]

I am just thinking about how it was such an asshole move to have Lucifer call as Cas and see Dean rush to the door and then not bring Cas back to life. That was something I forgot about until right now when I saw a gif of that scene

Hey, love!

Yeah, listen, I hear you, but I also reblogged a gifset the other day that so perfectly outlaid how Lucifer’s ruse is actually an underlining for what Cas means to Dean, because every other time Luci has used the “let me in” line it’s been in conjunction with showing up as the romantic counterpart of the person he’s trying to manipulate. Not that person’s best friend: their girlfriend or wife. Aka their the love of my life person.

Dean loves Cas back and this fact is shining so brightly in the subtext. It makes me all shades of thrilled and excited and joyous to even think about it!!

Is the omission of Cas from the narrative for the rest of that episode a little bit weird? Yes, it is. It would’ve been so easy for Dean to have one line to Jack our New God asking “What about Cas?” and Jack telling him “He’s at peace.” It’s very strange given how the episode started, with Dean demanding of Chuck to bring Cas back. It seems the perfect bookend moment for Dean to not demand of Jack, but simply ask. 

However, no matter how at peace Cas is, Jack knows not to leave him in the Empty, because Cas doesn’t belong there, so having Dean ask about Cas and for Jack to dismiss the question (and Dean’s inherit longing to have Cas back that always accompanies Dean’s focus on Cas) with some airy statement, only for Jack to go get Cas the hell out of the Empty, but without sending Cas straight back to Dean, would’ve seemed even more OOC for Jack when we get the reveal that, actually, Cas is alive and with Jack and their off on a father/son remodelling of Heaven adventure tralala. Selfish, Jack. Right? :P

That scenario would’ve required proper refrigerator logic, yeah? Like... what was Jack’s actual motivation for keeping those two apart then? Since the subtext is telling us so strongly that they belong together! Wouldn’t Jack know? And after everything Dean’s been through, wouldn’t the best reward be to have Cas back in his life? What sort of God does that make Jack exactly?

:P

What we get is Dean being shown to mourn Cas in 15x19 and omg do we have Dean wanting Cas back - there’s zero rejection due to the declaration of love, there’s as ever that focus on saving Cas, getting Cas back, nothing’s changed - and Dean all with the hope that Cas will show up, indicated by how he reacts to that call, and based in how Cas has always come back to him, only when it turns out that the caller is actually effing Lucifer, Dean’s immediate hope dwindles, and then, Dean’s facing Jack our New God and... well, why doesn’t Dean ask?

I think it was the only way to not have Cas back immediately, because Dean asking would’ve meant that Jack either would’ve had to give Dean actual hope that their separation wasn’t permanent, giving a less airy response than “He’s at peace” (because Jack knew that he was going to bust his dad the fuck out of eternal sleep in nothingness), or Jack would’ve had to grant Dean the reward of having Cas returned to him.

And neither option really worked with where Dean needed to be in his arc.

Well, to my mind, anyway.

Which was in acceptance of Cas’ absence. Acceptance and letting go and all the adulting that comes with moving into self-worth and a real sense of identity and letting go of the past to make way for the future, which was done very much in preparation for the letting go of Sam.

Letting go of the past and making way for the future was most clearly expressed in how Dean states that the pain of losing Cas and Jack will never go away, but not living would mean their sacrifices were meaningless, and so on with living he goes.

And the reward for this, for having integrated, for his self-actualisation, for being ready and open for whatever happiness comes his way, isn’t his sudden death - because that moment is given to him by the narrative as the final piece of the puzzle on his journey towards shaking off all that eternal sense of responsibility, and knowing peace - instead, the reward is finding Heaven remodelled by the love of his life, who has learned as many lessons on their joint journey as Dean has, and has been hard at work to make the afterlife what Dean truly deserves.

It’s a gift, Dean. 

Making the moment of reunion linked to this, rather than Dean asking for Cas back from Jack, makes more sense, because Dean needed to properly let go of his need of Cas, and make way for his want of Cas, for his love, that doesn’t need Cas’ presence to validate it, but that just is, because it’s not in the having, it’s in just being, and I would say Jack is the type of God that knows that, and that knows that the reunion shouldn’t take place on Earth, but in Heaven. Especially in the Heaven that he’s about to create together with Cas.

And yes, it’s a bit sad that we weren’t given the brothers having a somewhat longer conversation about Cas, about him professing his love etc. but it goes with the tone of the finale, and I know we can look at it as though the love story was scrubbed clean of the narrative and yes, it does suck that it was consigned back to the subtext, but it’s still very much as present as it always has been. 

Especially thanks to what’s come before: 15x18 being completely structured around couples in love losing one half and then this gentle callback to Lucifer’s pattern of behaviour when manipulating people by posing as the love of their life to gain their confidence. 

There are little holes, I know there are, within the surface of the text of 15x19 and 15x20, but the logical way of filling them in is, to me, right there. Right in the narrative itself. You don’t have to go far to find them. Does that mend the holes of the textual impression of these final two episodes? No, not entirely.

I still wish Charlie and Stevie had been brought back as a statement, because I do understand the feeling that every queer character just up and died and it’s ridiculously careless, to my mind, to leave it to the subtext to ensure us they were of course brought back with everyone else by Jack.

And I’ll never understand why we didn’t get it stated that Eileen is Sam’s blurry wife. I mean... that wouldn’t have taken any effort whatsoever and would’ve meant a whole lot, so idk. Did it just not mean a whole lot to the writers? Just seems so weird. 

Look it, we have Dean mourning Cas (via drinking and coping mechanisms), and wanting Cas back to the point of being ready to just up and die himself AGAIN (and being FURIOUS still, even though he admitted his anger got him and Cas into that room to begin with) but even if Dean kills Sam or Sam kills Dean or they kill each other, well, God had better fucking bring Cas back!! Which is like okay, calm down, Dean, this is exactly where you shouldn’t be in order to get Cas back, so, yeah, no wonder Chuck didn’t even respond to that demand.

Was it cruel and unusual to have Lucifer call Dean on the phone like that?

Yeah, it was, but it was also, in a way, if you want to look at the narrative we have and it is, end of the day, the narrative we have, a wake up call for Dean. After that he moves into teamwork mode with Sam and Jack and together they hatch the plan, the con, to defeat Chuck, and they succeed.

To me there’s threading there that emotionally resonates and makes a whole lot of sense for Dean’s arc. This final leg. The letting go of it all. The acceptance. 

And so that’s what we get in 15x20. No more coping mechanisms. Just living life to the best of his ability, honouring Cas’ sacrifice, recognising he’s going to have to live with the pain of the loss, but he’s willing to do that, because he no longer feels he doesn’t matter, or that what he does doesn’t matter, because it mattered to Cas, and that has just finally brought his sense of worth into actual stark relay and he trusts it now. He trusts there’s more to him than being the weapon. 

Cas took away Dean’s reason for his self-hatred and held up a mirror and said See yourself the way I see you. And so Dean does.

It’s beautiful. (literally) :)

Anyway, I just ramble on, but I hope that it explains why I see the good in the heartbreak, and how that heartbreak has left us with an ending that is wide open to a happily ever after that is setup by 15x18 and underlined by 15x20, and by that slow half-smile from Dean at hearing Cas is in Heaven too. That Cas is out of the Empty and free. That he’s the architect of Dean’s happiness. Because of course he is. 

Of course he is.

:)

xx

[alexandermanes]

it’s you, it’s me, it’s us

listen i don’t know what this is but it wouldn’t leave me alone

this is about the aftermath of defeating chuck and still having to deal with Cas’s deal with the Empty. a character study on both parties in Deancas. Angst ahead. 

ao3

They did, they rescued the world from its own creator and now what?

At the moment they are all in separate rooms after celebrating their victory, each of them retreated to be in their own company. Sam in his room talking to Eileen excitedly over the phone, Jack watching cartoons in the library, Castiel sat on his bed and Dean drinking his prestigious whiskey straight from the bottle. Each of them absorbed in their own Universe. Though one thing loomed closer than before: Castiel and his deal with the Empty.

See, the thing about Dean and Cas is that they are in love.

Unbeknownst to them, of course, in the early stages they had mistaken sexual frustration with the non-sexual kind. Castiel, Angel of The Lord, once leader of battalions, soldier in a holy war arranged by God Himself morphed into a rebel so many years ago. The obedient servant of Heaven, now an outcast, tossed reality as he knew and perceived, no questions asked, into the bin for men. A single man. The one he lied his hands on in the shrieking pits of Hell, the one whose soul he caught a glimpse of in the midst of all the chaos and pain in the fiery pit; a soul so bright it brought him the reassurance he needed that so surely Heaven would win the apocalyptical war. The one he raised from perdition and whose body he assembled together anew. In all those years of acknowledging he chose the Winchesters over his angelic brothers and sisters, and above all, God he never realized the multitude of his actions, and to be fair neither did Sam and Dean, despite the fact that everyone around them had, in their own way, pointed out his sacrifices and his loyalty to the hunters. It didn’t exempt him of his falls, of his own mistakes; the omissions, secrecy and sometimes straight-up lies etc. There’s no denying that, at times, he did the Winchesters wrong but regardless of those times, there isn’t much he wouldn’t have done for Sam and Dean. Especially the older Winchester. He knows he wronged Dean but it’s clear in his mind that he would bleed himself dry a million times before he let anything happen to him. And isn’t that something? It could’ve been easily mistaken for brotherly love the way the admission of the lengths he would thread to keep Dean Winchester safe and sound comes out matter-of-factly, unyielding, without any doubt of his mouth. Though it isn’t brotherly love that permeates his and Dean’s relationship. Once he purposely stepped back into (literal) Purgatory because it meant Dean would be out in the world where he belonged to, perhaps not exactly unharmed, nevertheless, where he wanted to be, where he’d be in his brother’s arms once more. He fought monsters in Purgatory, Earth, Heaven, Hell and in other Universes; he fought demons, angels, Lucifer and God for Dean. All of it for one man, as Metatron once said. In all his years beside the two men he never regretted once siding with them. And now everything seemed a bit hazy, perhaps lost behind the veil of passage of time, it seems all wasted. It isn’t as though he repents sacrificing so much, he doesn’t, but he wishes he had more time.

And Dean?

Well, he will burn Heaven and Earth and everyone that stands in between him and his angel. Fairness, despite being regarded once as “the righteous man”, isn’t his strongest suit in relation to the angel. He should’ve thanked him more, complained less. He should’ve savored those small moments of joy with him, the way he had become as human as the sparkle in his eyes when he saw something or someone he loved so completely as he loved Jack, for instance, the way his Nephilim child brought the best and worst out of him (to others, of course). He should’ve asked him to stay, he should’ve fought harder, he should’ve been less prideful, less angry.

He should’ve said he loved him.

Absorbed in should haves and should have nots, he realizes having Cas by his side is a merry go round. It always is, the loss and revival, the never-ending cycle and in all those times he watched his decay he promised to do better, be better in case the angel came back, if he ever did, though he never was. He was never enough and neither were his exhausted efforts. Every time Cas died something in him chipped away and each time the loss ached gravely, he wonders now when the clock will run out, when he finally will be out of chances to do better by his angel. He wonders when the last final time comes what will he do? What can he do? Besides turn into ruble evidently. He wonders if one his worst nightmares ever come into fruition who will he become? A shell of man, hollow and sterile? A broken man who can be saved? Is he even worth saving? Was he ever worthy of salvation? Unlikely, yet here he is all thanks to Castiel. Will he ever be able to return all of what his friend has done for him? Will he ever atone his past mistakes?

Images of Cas beaten down by Dean’s own hands flashes behind his eyes, images of the sorrow Dean’s words etched into Castiel’s face, images of his deaths... they all fall on him. All of them. Maybe if he corrupted another angel maybe he wouldn’t have messed up Castiel’s story the way he did. But did he ever have a choice? Did Cas? Perhaps not. But here’s what he knows: he has to atone for his mistakes, he has to, he has to like the whiskey he downed in a single movement burned his throat, he needs to like he needs the oxygen cursing through his veins and he will fight like hell to do so. And he will succeed, so help him, he will. The Empty can fuck off, he thinks bitterly. He will save Cas and fuck justifying his future actions because “the world is a better place when Castiel is around” or because “he is family”. The world can suck his dick for all he cares, he’s done saving it, he needs his angel, he needs him badly. The world owes him to be selfish and fight for one person like Cas did time and time again. He will be damned if he lets anyone, even an ominous and powerful entity, pry his angel out of his hands. And when he finally has the Angel safe and in no imminent danger of being killed or taken away he will finally be the man he deserves. And if that sounds ambiguous, well, it ain’t Dean’s problem.

 So here, Dean in the kitchen silently cursing the world for trying to rip Castiel away from him yet again, and the angel, subsequently coming, to the realization he is in love and has been in love with the infamous hunter for over a decade, they had never been so close, yet so far apart.

[tfwbigbang]

Team Free Will Big Bang FAQ and Rules 2021

Rules

You must be aged 18 or over upon registration in order to take part in this bang. If you lie about your age, you will be banned from all future TFW Big Bangs and other events run by this bang’s mods.

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What do I create?

Authors:

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Or a story of a minimum of 5000 words (mini bang).

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Your story must be posted in full on your assigned posting day.

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Basically how long your story is. The Big Bang has a minimum of 15,000 words, and will receive a minimum of two art pieces from the artist plus a fic cover, while the Minibang has a minimum of 5,000 words, and will receive a cover and at least one piece of art.

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Covers can be remixes of art already created for the fic. But they need to feature the fic title, the names of the artist and the author(s).

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Your story must focus on all three members of Team Free Will: Dean, Sam, and Castiel. This means the story can be Dean/Sam, Dean/Cas, Sam/Cas, Sam/Dean/Cas or gen. If you choose a two-person pairing, the third character must be an equal focus on the story.

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Please contact hit_the_books,majesticduxk and fogsrollingin at teamfreewillbigbang(at)gmail(dot)com.

[found--family]

@ Blue Heart Nonny in my inbox (yes, i can answer your ask without posting it. no worries 💙) 

here are the cliff-notes for everyone else: 

there ARE Bronly blogs that are unhappy with Dean's ending because it wasn't fulfilling/he didn't get happiness/was killed off/the narrative undid years worth of character growth 

those same blogs as well as others think Sam's ending was lacklustre 

okay. so because i don't interact with such blogs i wasn't aware of this, but after a quick inspection thanks to Nonny, i find that it's true. 

I'm not surprised, exactly. most of the Bronly blogs I've come across over the years have been vocal about Dean as an individual, a character who deserves his own narrative journey separate from Sam as well as Cas (of course 99% of them were anti-Cas so ofc i skiddadled out of there). And Sam Stans wanted a happy ending (domestic or otherwise) for him, one that's full of sunshine and smiles and yes, Found Family (the members of which do change from blog to blog). 

all ships and Cas-hate aside, it was reassuring to see these bloggers recognise the endgame narrative as lacking, regressive, depressing and OOC for both Sam and Dean. 

they didn't like the ending. 

*cue solidarity meme* 

this is important to note because what makes this fandom so special is our love for these characters and the complexity of the characters themselves (as has been mentioned on a fair few reaction posts already). we all want them to be happy, but we also want their journey not to have been for naught, we want their individual endings and the narrative as a whole to make sense because we've been with them through all of their struggles to learn and grow and try to find some peace and their own sense of purpose and meaning. 

what I'm trying to say, is that while I'm a Destiel shipper I am first and foremost a fan of the characters - Dean and Cas, and Sam and Jack and all members of the collective Found Family the boys have met and embraced along the way. 

I've shared a LOT of anti-Bronly content over the past 24hrs, but i'm not just angry that the bros-only ending pushed Cas and Destiel out of the narrative, I'm angry because that ending also did a disservice to these beloved characters as individuals. it brought back the toxic codependency after 15 seasons of the brothers fighting to be their own people, to be in each other's lives but not have their happiness dependant solely on each other. 

*

Dean didn't get to live his own life and he died laughably, pitifully. His Heaven wasn't even his own and he ended up right back where he started: on a roadtrip to nowhere, alone. And in the end (Heaven) Dean was denied being allowed to embrace the self-love he'd learned on his journey and discover a life of his own and happiness that he deserved, /before/ reuniting with Sam. Sam got a liftime, Dean deserved the same, especially considering Dean's the one who never really believed that he deserved such a thing (but was recently convinced he was worth saving, worth happiness, worthy of giving and receiving love - yes, thanks largely to Cas) and canon chose to hammer home that idea like the nail in Dean's back, like the blunt little instrument Dean thought he was (but isn't). 

Sam's domestic montage was lacking substance and emotion and the overall vibe was wholly depressing, sending the message that he couldn't live a happy life without his brother when we know he has managed that/wanted that through the seasons. It was like he was just going through the motions for Dean's sake until they could be reunited by death. 

Frankly, Sam's montage would've been a LOT more heart-warming if his Found Family was present, or at least if Eileen was his wife (we still don't know) and they shared smiles/kisses/dancing in the living room. Maybe the Found Family thing was Covid, but for Eileen i call bullshit on the account of Jenny's presence and the fact that Shoshannah is also one person, not a bridge-full. Worst case scenario they could've shot her scenes separate and blended them with body doubles etc. Hell, i would've accepted a video call presence as a last resort. It would've made for an ending I was emotionally connected to. Instead we got strangers, a swiss-cheese life (missing pieces), and a depressing oldman!Sam. I could've bought the oldman!Sam dying after a long full life - but the montage left me (and Sam) unsatisfied with that Life. I mean, 15 years worth of content took.. 15 years to go through and emotionally invest in, so you really have to bring your A game to condense 50-odd years into a minute or two - and they didn't. That was some C-minus bullshit. 

And then there's the Heaven thing.

Sam pretty much shows up in Heaven right after Dean dies. I reiterate, Dean didn't get to live his own Life nor his own Afterlife. Sam had the chance at a Life, and Dean could've easily had his own Afterlife if the writers had allowed it: a montage of Dean fishing in Heaven, sharing drinks with Bobby, Miracle the dog showing up, Dean working or karaokeung in the Roadhouse (an improvement on the Rocky's bar fantasy) Dean experiencing all kinds of happy and domestic things - and it should've been with Found Family, but again if Covid is to blame there were ways to work around that with blurred background people and body doubles and voices off-screen. 

Instead, Dean's individual storyline is erased as he's reduced to a footnote in Sam's afterlife. No happiness in life and no meaningful afterlife he can call his own. Sam's family will eventually join him in Heaven, but Dean is left lacking in friendships as well as a romantic partner. The real Sam's heart would've broken at that, and the real Dean would've been unhappy and would've sought out people and meaningful relationships (again, Found Family). 

BTW: i saw mention that the lack of Found Family in Heaven is because they're not dead yet.. *cough* let's recap some dead loved ones who could've made an appearance shall we: Jo, Ash, Ellen, Rufus + Mary + John (all mentioned but none shown), Pamela, Kevin, Adam, OG!Charlie, Missouri.. hell, even Henry or Ketch or Frank.. i would've been overjoyed at seeing Cassie again, because we don't know who's dead or not. Krissy, Cesar, Jesse - they could've died, especially since in the time it took for Dean to take his little roadtrip, Sam lived 50-odd years on earth. So, if we're going by canon's timey-wimey rules they could've easily brought back any Found Family member they wanted. 

but, again, we got random vamp Jenny.

simply put, Covid is not to blame and there were many simple tweaks that could've made the finally on some level. instead the characters and the audience are left devastated and wanting. 

i know we don't see heart-to-heart on shipping matters, but even Destiel shippers and Bronlies can agree Sam and Dean didn't get the happy, satisfying endings their characters and 15 years worth of narrative deserved. 

* note: Bronlies (not Bibros) are invited to share their thoughts on this post about Sam and Dean's individual endings, but please avoid negative Destiel talk, negative Cas talk, and any wincest talk. 

[whateverthedragonswant]

and the rewatch continues

So rewatching most of season 5 and dipping into season 6, after coming from season 4, I found some things very interesting, things I actually had forgotten about and some that just hit differently now that the show has ended:

Season 4:

Brothers - different iterations: Had that finale happened after this season, it might have made better sense (though I STILL say the manner of Dean’s death is laughable)

Destiel & Cas: While Cas and Dean have some uncomfortable staring contests and there’s chemistry, I didn’t get the whole Destiel vibe (this is just my personal take), yes there’s a bond there, a growing partnership so to speak but I feel like Cas is not around enough for it to be in the forefront of the story or even to demand Dean’s attention in a way. Like Cas made his big entrance in 4x01 and we saw how things took off from there for the story and for this connection/bond between he and Dean but Dean is early season Dean and Cas is early season Cas. Though I found Cas’ interest in everything Dean Winchester to be intriguing (and he put Dean back together with his own hands, I just...this really does become the greatest love story ever told, I swear), I personally didn’t get the whole UST vibes that has been talked about. I actually found myself wanting to go deeper into Cas’ story (a la 6x20 style) aside from Dean’s and Sam’s. 

Anna: That whole night with Anna was purely that: a night. There wasn’t a whole lot of chemistry between Jensen and Julie and it’s very clear that this whole sex-on-last-night-on-earth thing is for comfort, for both characters. I kind of get why they switched up gears there for Dean’s angel role, even if they didn’t intend for Destiel to read as romantic at all initially. 4x09 & especially 4x10 were so obviously trying to ying and yang the brothers and the sides that had chosen them/complemented them: Anna | Ruby, Heaven | Hell -> eventually Michael | Lucifer. But back to Anna, while I enjoyed her character and would have loved to delve deeper with her, I am glad Cas was the one who got to stay. Anna and Dean had no chemistry, outside of a couple of glances before the big hookup/last night on Earth deal, there wasn’t really anything there. Tbf, they didn’t have a lot of private time before that, except maybe one convo. To me, in this scenario, Anna was a source of comfort (after she tells Dean he needs to forgive himself for what happened in Hell which I very much appreciated, someone had to tell him that) and attraction, letting her have her last night on Earth, a hookup, etc. But there was nothing deeper there. And for this bond with an angel to happen, there needed to be something deeper there. Perhaps had Anna been around longer and didn’t go the way she did in season 5, it might have but I honestly tend to doubt it. We all know Cas and Dean’s (Misha’s and Jensen’s) natural chemistry is off the charts. I’m not sure Anna (Julie) could have competed with that had both Cas and Anna stuck around together. I know I’m completely biased here, but I almost felt like Anna and Cas had more chemistry together, it might have been because they got more face time, I’m not sure. But I thoroughly enjoyed watching it all go down again.

Adam: Omg I forgot about how Adam wasn’t Adam when Dean and Sam first met him. That was heartbreaking on so many levels, but mostly for Adam and his mom dying the way they did and of course, for Dean and Sam. Namely Dean because he was the most affected by finding out about Adam’s existence. And I swear I fell in love with Dean more in that episode as a character because despite his pain, his anger, his hurt, he still tries to do the right thing by Adam, to honor his dad’s wishes. And John...that mf’er doesn’t deserve any of those boys as his sons. What an asshole through and through. 

Season 5:

Destiel & Cas: And now we see Cas becoming a bit more forefront and the vibe has changed...slightly. Now it’s a partnership turning into a friendship. Dean and Cas get a bit more face time and it shows. 5x03 was awesome and of course the wholly unnecessary line of “One, Bert and Ernie are gay” -- like where did that come from? I still loved it. It was tough to see Dean and Sam go their separate ways in the beginning but we still got some gold out of it with 5x03 and 5x04. And thankfully, we get more into not only more of the angel and apocalypse lore this season, but we also get to see how Cas’ relationship with the Winchesters is changing and more of what makes Cas tick as a character in his own right. And of course, bamf!Cas was very present. 

Brothers: Once again, had that finale happened after this season, it might have made more sense (sans the junk death) - because it’s very obvious that the co-dependency is alive and well here and it would have made more sense for their characters - while they have others outside of the two of them they are caring about (Bobby, Ellen, Jo just to name a few), it’s still the exclusive Winchester-only club. I truly enjoyed watching these two working together and moving towards the season finale. Dean’s memory of Sam and the fireworks, Dean talking about how Sam’s best memories weren’t the same as his (shocker, John Winchester is a d-bag, I’ll keep saying it), Dean struggling to make the decision to say yes to Michael, having to agree with the plan for Sam to say yes to Lucifer to try to trap the latter, Dean showing up to the cemetery -- all of it was incredible and the two of them were the beating heart of the show at that point. 5x22 will always be one of my favorite season finales for that show. It was pure awesomeness, truly epic and perfect.

Dean: holy hell, they really, really threw a lot into Dean this season - not that they hadn’t before, but damn. Each season just amps up the Dean game, just like I remember, and I am happily here for it again. No offense to Sam at all, but Dean is just so complex, so complicated yet straightforward, and there’s so many layers to him that they just keep peeling back and they feed us well each season. I swear, if you turned the sound off and just watched that scene where Dean tells Zachariah to call Michael, where Dean and Sam go their separate ways, you would know exactly everything Dean is feeling and thinking thanks to the incredible talent of one Mr. Jensen Ackles. Just really incredible. How this man never got nominated for an Emmy at any point for this show just astounds me. Yes, I know that show wasn’t considered a contender for that type of award run, but dammmnnnn. He deserves it and more. Watching this season and season 4 really brought back the original reasons I fell in love with Dean as a character in the first place. One of the best characters ever, I’m telling you. And may I just say, I hated that they brought back John’s leather jacket for him in the season finale but I get it, it was Kripke’s swan song (did I just do that? I believe I did) so we of course went back to core Winchester things, not just in story but every element. I’m ngl, I was so glad to see Dean shed it though when he is sitting down to dinner with Lisa and Ben.

Apocalypse: I thoroughly enjoyed this whole plot line - this really was high stakes, more than ever before, and though angels were dicks, there was Lucifer of course and a mysterious though mostly absent God behind the curtain - you just never knew what was going to be thrown at you next, just like the boys were going through.

Heaven/Mary: even though this definitely has to do with Dean more so, I did enjoy them seeing Ash and Pam, Ash’s setup, and of course Mary being there, seeing how such a good memory could be manipulated by the dick angels and the horrible things Mary said to Dean. Of course, I felt for Dean but it was interesting to see that whole scene play out. Plus we got even more confirmation of what we’ve known all along: John is a bonafide asshole and Dean really did experience facets of spousification, even before Mary died (which just makes me so sad for him, I swear if they don’t put a Cas vs John scene in the reboot... because you know Cas will win that thumb war)

Meg: ngl, I wasn’t really crazy about this iteration of Meg - I don’t mean Rachel Miner’s version, just this particular performance, which I chalk up to whoever decided they wanted her to go this route in her performance - I couldn’t believe it was the same character, the same actress - I am so glad the show/Rachel developed the character we all love to hate and secretly really love to how she was in later seasons

Jo: omg Jo. I have to admit, in season 2, in the first episode she showed up in, I despised her. She was like that bratty teenage kid who’s a real pain in the ass and whines and doesn’t get it. But after that episode, I grew to love her with each one she was in. She became a bamf in her own right and I loved seeing that come through this season especially. Her death was horrific (what is it with this show killing off bamf female hunters in such a gruesome way? it brought back horrible Eileen flashbacks for me personally, and for them to turn Meg and Ketch into somewhat redeemable characters after that... you know, I swear...) but heroic and I had never been more proud of my girl. Except the scene with Dean in the kitchen. As much as I love my chaotic hunter son, I was glad to see Jo flip him off in the way she did. So proud. And then her goodbye with Dean, I had forgotten exactly what he did so I was going “omg, she just saved you, Dean, this girl has feelings for you, she deserves at least a kiss, kiss her. right. the fuck. now!” and sure enough, he did, on the forehead, which I was like okay, well I get it, he doesn’t return those feelings but he does care about her but dammit, she deserved for him to plant one on her. and then he did and I was just gone, I was a complete bawling mess. And her goodbye scene with Ellen, and then her death along with Ellen’s sacrificing herself to stay by Jo’s side and give the boys a chance to get out of there...yeah, I didn’t stop crying for about five minutes. I cannot tell you how much I miss those characters and I would have sold someone else’s right arm to make their return in the series finale happen. Besides the obvious characters that should have been present, Ellen, Jo, and Ash deserved to be there (just not Samantha and Chad, if we can get a “Cas helped” for the third major character/lead, we can also get a “Ellen and Jo went to assist in setting up the honeymoon suite above the roadhouse - I said what I said).

John: usually, I cannot abide giving any time to this jerk, never mind talking about him, but I have to say I enjoyed seeing pre-loss John in 5x13. That conversation he has with Sam I think is so glaringly important. I know it was for Sam to forgive John and heal, but the fact that John himself is saying “how could he do that to you? he was supposed to protect you” -- yep, that was pure poetic cinema in my eyes. Because pre-loss John is right, how dare post-loss John do that to his boys? There’s no excuse anyone or this show can give him. As much as I love JDM, post-loss John Winchester will never be okay in my book.

Adam: omg Adam. First of all, I loved his dynamic with Sam and Dean. I really, really wish we could have had him around longer just for that alone. What an awesome character we could have had giving Dean and Sam a run for their money. “Well, we’re working on the power of love.” “How’s that going?” “Not so great.” -- give me an episode of the three brothers on a milk run hunt (sans generic mask-wearing vampmimes) with all of the fixings and I swear we would get done!Sam, consistently being roasted between Dean and Adam, and then Dean thinking he’s got a mutual now, a BFF, and Adam turning right around to roast him as well. It would be epic, I tell you, epic. I wish Adam had gotten a better end, this season and at the end of the series. He certainly deserved better. And this may be a random observation but why did Michael take Adam at all? I know the countdown had begun and he was desperate to grab a vessel so he could fight Lucifer at the appointed time and Dean was not giving in (that he knew of), but what chance of victory did he think he had without using his true vessel? Using that logic, I guess Michael’s end in the series makes more sense now...? Who knows.

Chuck: Swan Song (5x22) and the lines, “Endings are hard. Any chapped ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There’s always gonna be holes. And since it’s the ending, it’s all supposed to add up to something. I’m telling you, they’re a raging pain in the ass“ -- did anyone else feel like that was Kripke speaking or is it just me?

Season 6:

the whole Lisa thing: while it was nice to see Dean go domestic, I have to say I was more invested in Dean and Ben’s relationship development than I was with Dean and Lisa’s. The chemistry just wasn’t there, I have to be honest (he and Anna actually had more chemistry for a few minutes than he did with Lisa this whole season). I don’t doubt they loved each other, it was real, and Lisa was good for him at the time but it just didn’t have that spark. I loved Lisa as a character in her own right, but I was happy to see her and Dean eventually go their separate ways. Though my heart broke for Ben on that one. He and Dean really had a whole father-son bond happening there. I appreciated that when Ben called him, even that one time that nothing was really wrong, Dean dropped everything and headed right over. They had a bond of their own happening outside of Dean and Lisa’s. I think Dean ultimately made the right choice in the end to keep Lisa and Ben safe (though they should have been able to choose if they wanted this), but God did that cost him and we see it in that scene outside of the hospital with Sam. How much that hurt for him, and for us to see how it killed him to do it. I’m still grateful that he got to see what the domestic life was like and that he got a reprieve from hunting for a bit. It made complete sense as to why Cas didn’t want to pull him back in to ask for help with Raphael.

Destiel: Welp, now there’s definitely an emotional relationship happening. Meaning the bond has become even more forefront and not only is Dean affected, but we also see that Cas is, too. Dean’s reaction to finding out Cas was working with Crowley the whole time, Cas’ reaction to Dean choosing to save the two boys instead of focusing on finding Eve, Cas’ reaction to Dean’s stance on the Crowley situation, Dean’s finding out Crowley kidnapped Lisa and Ben, Cas asking Dean to trust him, Dean seeing Cas becoming the new God and needing to summon Death, etc. It was fantastic. While it hurt during some moments, I enjoyed seeing the dynamics and reactions to these situations play out. This is definitely a friendship now, a family relationship formed (and still forming) like Dean says in 6x20. Imho, Jensen and Misha knocked it out of the park this season when it came to that relationship. I loved it.

Cas: holy hell, 6x20 has become one of my all-time favorite episodes of SPN. I loved seeing Cas’ POV. Cas was already a fave character of mine but this episode made me fall in love with him all over again. This was incredible and I’m so thankful they fed us so well with this one. I really enjoyed seeing Cas as a character stepping into the forefront, right there with Dean and Sam. Yes, he was a part of TFW before this, but you have to admit that in this season, it becomes a whole new ball game. Really amazing stuff and of course, Misha slayed it all.

Meg & Megstiel: I was so happy to see the iteration of Meg return that we know from later seasons. Maybe I’m just too used to that version but to me this felt more effortless for the character and for Rachel, that really let both shine. Personally, I’m not a Megstiel shipper. While I love their dynamic, it just isn’t there for me, but I really did enjoy their scenes together. Cas felt as if he needed a little shaking up so to speak so I think she was perfect for that. Plus, I have a hard time forgiving those in the show that sic Hellhounds on my bamf female hunters so that might be partially the reason for my bias, just saying. (I never really forgave Ketch either)

Samuel...& Co: I just...why? Don’t get me wrong, I liked Mitch but this felt a bit...I don’t know...off? Other than some place for Soulless!Sam to go while Dean was playing house and for nabbing Alphas for Crowley, I don’t get what the point of this story line was? Was it to show us that Mary’s dad was a d-bag? Check. Was it to show us how people sometimes make the worst decisions when it comes to their family? Double check. Like, we kind of already got that and it was just unnecessary confirmation if that makes sense. And the thing that kills me is that Samuel was in Hell (or goes to Hell, I kind of did other things in the background during that arc) but he loved his daughter enough to betray her sons and do the wrong thing but John gets to go to Heaven? This still confounds me. Though I enjoyed Gwen and it was a shame she couldn’t be a family contact in another state for the boys later on to pop up every now and then.

Soulless!Sam: I enjoyed this part of Sam’s arc but I won’t lie, I was relieved like everyone else when he finally got his soul back though waited with bated breath for the other shoe to drop. But it was interesting to see this side of Sam.

Dad!Dean: I know I mentioned Dean and Ben above, but that one episode with the shifter!baby, that was priceless and God, did I love it.

I just loved going back to this for both boys

[weebeestie]

PRE- FINAL 2 EPISODES THOUGHTS & ENDGAME SPEC! :)

Okay, I know nerves are running high and especially so among the crowd considering stuff like PR around Misha/Cas and “script adjustments” but having spent the past 24 hours re-watching the post-hiatus eps I am feeling pretty secure and positive going into the endgame! This is just my personal speculation based on my reading of the episodes themselves, just for fun and for me to check back with later as we near the end! So, here is what I’m expecting/hoping for by the finale (under the cut since this is kinda long):

General Spec

All of them live in the end (not counting stuff like death/resurrection or if in the last episode we get like a many-years-later-in-heaven kinda thing)

Cas comes back, probably human or close to human

Dean and Sam separate in the end--not estranged, just resolving into healthy independence while still loving each other and being in each other’s lives; no longer trapped in eternal tragic codependency

Endgame Sam and Eileen (a big part of the former point)

Endgame Dean and Cas -- *see below for notes

Even if Jack’s still a cosmic entity he will 1) survive, and 2) be allowed to live life as a kid and not be constantly chained to cosmic duty

Monsters and magic and stuff will remain; the afterlife/cosmic order will just be rebalanced like Amara’s wanted all along. I care less about the mytharc stuff than the characters so I haven’t thought much about this beyond the point that I think the guys will still hunt, just without the constant Apocalypse threats (Dean likes hunting, Sam likes magic, both of them love helping people, there are good ‘monsters’ like Garth or even Jack--they just need more than that and they need to have peace and happiness of their own, without constant impending cosmic doom)

The ending will be happy and I will c r y !!

The show will at long last spring for Zepp for the final scene bonus points if it’s on the mixtape!

The Biggie: Cas Was Right All Along and What That Means for Dean

The biggest thing that strikes me on this re-watch is Dean’s ongoing anger issues and struggle with truth. The root of Dean’s anger is that he feels trapped and oppressed by his life--highlighted by his conversations with Sam, Cas, Jack, and even Amara. As Dean repeatedly states, he believes that this oppression has been created by Chuck controlling them, pulling the strings. He fails to accept that they do have free will, and that the basis of free will is love. Chuck may be omniscient and control time and space, but he doesn’t control the feelings they have for each other (same as he didn’t orchestrate Amara’s thing with Dean). He is able to manipulate them to the extent that he can introduce obstacles through his powers and (as writer/creator) his deep understanding of their flaws. He is adept at playing on the weaknesses created by the trauma in their lives to push them toward outcomes he desires. However, Team Free Will’s proven ability to repeatedly thwart his narrative is based on the love that they have for each other, which is the true driver of their actions. It’s no accident that right before Cas tells Dean that he’s the embodiment of love, Billie tells him that he’s the embodiment of chaos. Love is what breaks the divine order of the system. LIKE CAS SAYS IN 15x02, Chuck may have built the maze, but they are the ones running it. They are real. So why does Dean feel so oppressed? Because he cannot, like Amara says in Gimme Shelter, accept his life. He can’t accept his truth. His self-hatred is the opposite of the love with which he breaks the bonds of the system to save others; and until he sheds this he can never be free, Chuck or no Chuck. Chuck isn’t the one oppressing Dean; Dean is. Because he has not given himself permission to fully shed the rest of John Winchester’s ghost, fully shed the scars of his time as a torturer in Hell (brought up by Belphagor just this season), fully shed the idea that he can never have the kinds of relationships with his loved ones that he truly desires, Dean is still trapped. He should take what Sam and Cas have each told him about himself in the previous two episodes to heart if he is to release himself.

*Dean and Cas

I am fully endgame positive, but not 100% sure where we’ll land in terms of like the...definition?...of their relationship? At the bare minimum I expect it to be made explicit, as in not just left implied or in the subtext, that what Dean feels for Cas is not just love as a brother or love as a best friend, but something more than that, even if the show ends at a place where Dean is like, still coming to terms with everything and they’re gonna take it slow. I do expect them to be together in the end though and do not think they’ll go with love-declaration-to-permanent-separation or anything like that as the final chapter of their relationship. I expect we’ll have a better idea what their endgame will look like post-15x19.

PR and Covid Stuff

The PR about Cas being permadead is just that...PR. If anything, it strengthens my feeling that when we get Cas back, it’ll be as a human (which has always been my ideal ending for him--which I think is the ideal ending for him!), so that has me kinda pumped!

Re: covid--the kind of script adjustments that they would have made to accommodate shooting restrictions would imo have no impact on what they intended for Cas. This kind of thing would be more relevant to stuff like bringing back a bunch of old guest stars for a final appearance--think things like a memory or vision of all the people they saved (or their souls), or if they wanted to resurrect a bunch of familiar angels and demons from the empty to fight Chuck or whatever. Like a big montage group scene kinda thing. There are limits on the number of people you can cram into a set at once under the new restrictions. It would absolutely not effect anything essential like the conclusion of the storyline of a beloved main character (and also they are not giving Cas a tragic ending that is also bury your gays, c’mon friends! they just aren’t). If you are someone who is worried bc you pay attention to PR/what actors say/etc, I would suggest you consider reports that Misha told people he had five days of shooting left post- wrapping 15x18. That is a substantial amount of shooting that suggests real story content, not some single random shot of Cas smiling beatifically at Dean when he reaches heaven or something that could non-meaningfully be cut without changing the main story. As far as I know, kissing is still allowed given proper safety and testing procedures are followed. I would love to see a deancas kiss (tho imo it’s only ‘necessary’ insofar as shutting up the idiots who are still claiming the confession was platonic) and I think a saileen reunion without one would feel weird--but these are not endgame requirements for me for either ship and I mention it only because I’ve seen people speculating about whether it’s allowed or whatever.

[missjackil]

My 15x07 Opinion

Last Call

Personal discomfort aside, I thought the episode was overall pretty good. I can be objective and understand that just because I don't like something, doesn't make it bad. Sometimes, it's really just personal taste. Me being “anti Saileen” has nothing at all to do with Eileen herself. I like the character, I like the actress I even like hers and Sam’s friendship, and think it's adorable that Sam is learning sign language. What upsets me is adding the romantic-potential sex element to it. It isn’t needed, it changes a sweet pure relationship into meaningless sex at least, and potential separation of the brothers at worst, and a new way to break Sam’s heart all in the middle. Call me old fashioned but meaningless sex is never good for anyone. It’s never truly meaningless, someone WILL get hurt. Sam is also completely over wanting to leave Dean for a “normal life” even if all the monsters are gone.  But that all being said, let’s have at it.

Dean really needs to clean his room! Well, he manages to find a case, goes to gather up Sam and finds him and Eileen making a big breakfast in the kitchen. Now I dont know what Supernatural hangovers are like but even when I have had a hungry hangover, I was not in the mood to make the food myself. If no one was making me bacon and eggs, I would eat potato chips LOL  but Dean seemed like a lot of alarms went off in his head when he asks “Are you two hung over?” and as much as he was trying to be supportive of Sam “gettin some” I think he seemed uncomfortable and even a little sad about it. But he’s got to be the big brother and tell Sam to have fun  😀as he is screaming internally. 😱

Dean sets out on his own to Texas and meets up with some random creepy Sherrif that thinks Dean should go to Hollywood because he has “the look”. (???)

Dean rolls into Swayze’s bar where you can carry your gun but not your cellphone (rut roh)  and meets up with an old hunting buddy, Lee.  Now I know many of you were beside yourselves on a cringe-fest about this but seriously it was fine.  I like the Yellow Fever throwback, and I always like when the boys talk about pre-series things and how John was.  Dean and Lee were apparently friends as teenagers if John was pissed they had gotten trashed, and Dean said “I havent seen you since Sammy was in Stanford” so Im getting the impression they knew each other for several years.

Meanwhile back at the ranch.. errrr,, um... bunker. Sam and Eileen are researching and oh my... Eileen is just mentally exhausted and needs a break, as does Sam, but whatever will they do in this huge fortress equipped with about 20 random beds, a shower room, dungeon etc?? Well, Eileen can think of a few. but now here’s Sam, with about half a teaspoon of a smile, and then a face of “Oh my dear friend.... you dont know how terrible an idea that is” And upon my first watch, it looked to me like Sam was about to kiss her when he took her hand, but on the second watch, he looked like he was sad and about to let her down easy. 

But here comes Cas, who I was never so happy to see in my life!! Great cock block Cas!! But not so fast! He needs to probe Sam a little (snicker)  Okay but I have to say something... Im not complaining about seeing Sam skin, i wont ever do that but how much dramatic skin revealing is necessary for this little booboo? I tried it out myself as I sat here in a flannel and tshirt, like Sam and I only needed to pull my shirt over 2 inches to show the same spot he was showing LOL yes sometimes I do appreciate “a little something for the Sam girls” fan service ;)

Okay so Cas’s probing of Sam’s wound got him slammed against the wall and knocked out. Dean is going to just forbid Cas to be in the same room as Sam pretty soon right? Cas cant get a hold of Dean, why? Because they collected his cell phone at the bar that he is now on stage singing at!

I thought the singing was pretty great. I love how nervous Dean was and there is no reason on Earth why anyone thinks “canon was broken” because Dean sounded good, because 1) It was an easy song with no difficult voice range or harmony and 2) Every single one of you, yes all of you, can sing better when you’re actually trying, than when you're goofing around singing in the car.  Y’all just sound like bitter wet blankets. Just chill and enjoy what we have left. 😜

Meanwhile, Cas can’t heal Sam so he calls on good ole Serge from last season. Serge not-so-subtly drops the existence of the key to Death’s Library on our laps. Im not speculating yet as to what that would be for, but I do know we don’t know what Sam’s “true forever” death is caused by, though I think he has to be killed by Dean.

 Serge can help Sam, then Sam is dying, then Cas is threatening Serge’s niece (savage!) then he’s healing Sam but Sam is freaking out, seeing Chuck’s memories and then he’s back!

Dean, of course, finds out the hard way that his old buddy is a killer feeding a monster in his basement, typical Thursday. I thought the fight was kinda cool and the dialogue was pretty good. Glad to see Dean coming back to caring because somebody has to.

Now Dean’s home, Sam is okay... Cas and Eileen sorta fade into the background. Sam explains his link to Chuck or as much as he knows of it, and optimistically tells Dean he believes they can beat him. 

So yeah, I liked this episode and will even moreso if next week we find out Sam let Eileen down easy and she went about her way.  It lacked bromance so it will lose points for that. It is rewatchable yet won't make my top 50. 

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon Ill give Last Call a 6.5. 

See you next week for the Mid Season Finale!!

[unrequitedloveisabitch]

I want a supernatural video game.

I don’t know about anyone else, but what I want would be a game where you create your own hunter within the spn world. Choose their appearance, their weapon specialization, and even a backstory option (how they got into hunting, etc.), which affects their stats. Maybe there’s a system similar to the S.P.E.C.I.A.L system in the fallout series, or the stats in D&D, that affects your character’s attributes. Which determines how good they are at fighting/killing, and/or how good they are at interpersonal matters, depending on where you put your points as you level up, and the options you choose when making your character.

You go on hunts and shit, and occasionally you run into tfw while they’re doing plot-shit. You have a trust bar with tfw (separate bars for each of them, and a total bar for the team). When you have run ins with them, you have opportunities to build trust and comradery between you. Depending on what you do or say, you could become their friend and ally, or their enemy.

You can specialize, and choose to only take certain hunts, or you can do a bit of everything like tfw.

There’s other characters from the show, too, also with trust/friendship bars.

You can build your own hunter team by gaining the trust of other hunters (some characters from the show, some original characters), or work alone, or with only one other person, or whatever, and it’s more dangerous, or safer, depending on the amount of people in your team, and the personality/temperament of the people in your team.

If you’re good enough, and the trust bar is high enough, perhaps there’s even an option to make into tfw.

There would also be a romance option, of course. You could romance someone in your team, or another hunter, or even a member of tfw if you get their trust bar high enough (obviously tfw’s trust bars would be a lot more difficult to manage than any of the other characters.) You can also influence the romance of other characters if you’re charismatic/manipulative enough. So you could help Sam and Eileen get together, or Dean and Cas. Or even Sam and Cas, I suppose. Whatever you want.

You can make allies of other show characters who aren’t necessarily good guys (Crowley, Meg, Ruby, different angels, etc.), and choose sides on certain conflicts that happened in the show.

The replay value would be astronomical.

I just think it would be neat.

But it’s probably a good thing it doesn’t exist because I would spend all my time playing it and waste away ahaha

[tinkdw]

The Destiel blanket of 13x01

So... I’m rewatching 13x01 and I just have to say. Wow.

Dabb has no chill.

I know I’ve said this a lot but come on, I mean COME ON Dabb. I watch this episode and see all the other excellent meta and plot points of course, but over the top of it is just this blanket of Destiel that affects pretty much every other meta reading in some way or another but especially around Dean and especially when you put it back into chronological order. You can see how the grief over Cas specifically leads his story forwards in this episode and how this will affect him moving forwards and...I’m just stupidly in love with this episode.

There is an undercurrent of Dean’s feelings for Cas present throughout this whole episode, strongly romantic in the Dean scenes and present as a plot mirror even in scenes that Dean is not in. This is the episode that sets up the season. This is the episode that sets up Dean’s arc for the season and in the future, it takes what has been built in the last 12 years subtextually, textualises it and is the foundation for the season to move forwards.

I just... I want to wrap myself in a blanket but I feel like I have to write about the Destiel blanket over this whole episode that tore my heart out and left me needing my own blanket to curl up in a ball on the sofa so, here goes :)

We have an opening sequence that parallels Sam/Eileen again to Dean/Cas and the music, dammit the MUSIC. Literally in the first few seconds of the season we have “Nothing Else Matters”, a Metallica ballad, referring back to Dean in season 1 and linking it to later aspects of Dean’s character growth. Metallica is a part of his performance facade from 1x04, the “scared of flying so humms Metallica” episode, they then show Dean literally blowing down the metaphorical walls of the bunker whilst “never opened myself this way” plays over the top. I MEAN COME ON!

So, performing!Dean’s facade coming down and parallels to the canon romantic couple (and Chuck dammit Dabb you are bringing Eileen back or so help me). 

We end the sequence with this 

Just to remind us, you know, that this is Dean’s key emotional drive for the episode and season.

We then start with Jack/Sam and this again, of course

Dean’s face goes from grief to angry determination. He runs in and immediately tries to shoot Jack in the face. This is the set up of his emotional arc over 01-06. He is angry and enraged because of his grief. This is not a good hark back to good old Dean hunting and being badass, this is utterly devastating.

At this point he’s enraged, sure, he can barely say what happened, but he does. Because he still has a smidgen of hope that there could be a way back. He doesn’t want to face the fact that he might be gone for good yet so he’s just angry that he’s dead in the first place and wants revenge on Jack who did this.

So then we have the search for Jack. But after the prayer scene which chronologically happens here, we see the shift from rage to despair after his prayer goes unanswered. 

We had grief then rage 

And now...hopelessness.

This is the turning point from grief and rage to utter devastation and hopelessness. This is where his soul (baby) is then not just dirty but he himself is now bloodied. Baby is also defaced with the word Bitch. 

This is where he flips to giving up and feeling hopelessness, inertia and emptiness.

The next scene with Dean gives us him not giving a shit about keeping up the facade. He tells the sheriff the truth. Because he is just DONE. 

Now, ironically this works, who knew. Well, we, the audience did, this is what he needs, clear direction that the path to to emotional honesty is the right path, however he needed to learn it and dammit if this isn’t going to be the hardest most terrible way to learn this lesson.

Then we have Miriam who builds on her Becky metaphor, then sticks the final edge of the knife in.

We see here again that Cas is the FIRST thing she goes to and the first thing it seems Dean thought about in that moment. If Jack can do anything? BRING CAS BACK. Mary is not first in his mind. She isn’t at any point in this episode. Every . Time . It’s . Cas . 

Then she reminds Dean again that he feels guilt over every bad thing that happened to Cas. His fall, his despair, his death...

I want to Marry you Andrew.

We then have Jack performing his 1/3 job as the TFW mirror as Dean’s here.

Jack reminding us of Dean’s journey up until this point. Why might Dean have not told Cas how he felt? Why was there a wall there? Why might Dean feel like Cas is not just the love of his life, but the one who got away, who he never got the chance to tell how he feels for real, not just a mixtape, to return the “I love you” that he just couldn’t acknowledge due to his own stupid hang ups and personal issues. 

Surely there will be such a lot of exposition now to Dean below the facade. After 12x22′s metaphorical walls came down I screamed that season 13 and especially 01-06 had the potential to give us so much of this because Dean would be so done and empty over his losses that he would not bother with the facade anymore. Jeez it seems we are on the same page as Dabb.

I was going to write a whole other meta about this with Jack and Miriam but yeah, Dean up to 12x19 blamed HIMSELF for Cas’ demise, his fall. In 12x12 he was angry at himself for leading Cas to this apparent death, then enter Jack and Dean can blame HIM, he does, he says Cas was brainwashed by Jack. He is enraged and wants REVENGE on Jack because of this. But what if Jack tells Dean that he didn’t do anything to Cas, that he sees Cas as his father, that he and Cas chose each other, that Cas was lost and found something in Jack to believe in, because he was lost himself. Dean would then be reminded of his own feelings of self-hate that he led to Cas’ death, that Cas felt lost he would surely blame himself, he would blame himself for Cas’ death again.

This would then bring back up to the forefront of his mind that Dean was not emotionally honest with Cas, he was not soft, kind, supportive enough, he never was clearly emotionally honest with Cas about his feelings, he kept hiding behind needing Cas for his hands to find Kelly and Dagon, not because he just wanted him home and cared about him which was the truth, he also kept putting Sam into the equation too because he couldn't bring himself to be honest about his own real emotions of love for him. This didn’t cause Cas’ depression and sense of being lost that led him to Jack and his death of course but surely it didn’t help it and Dean will surely blame himself.

This could be DEVASTATING for Dean.

Holding back his love from Cas because he thought he didn’t deserve it and due to his own hang ups is a part of what led to Cas’ demise.

So emotional honesty and GIVING Cas his love rather than holding back could be GOOD for Cas, for them BOTH. It’s the reversal of this.

Going through all this could really show Dean that GIVING his love and accepting Cas’ in return is how they can be stronger and happier and alive as the opposite sure led to this devastating separation, death and misery.

But Dean now is apparently going to learn the lesson too late. We know Cas is coming back but Dean does not.

Oh Jack sweetie, thank you for reminding us. Just before this scene with Dean.

So Sam goes upstairs with Jack of course, to give us this scene of Dean with Cas. Let’s be honest too, who carried Cas in from the lakeside and then back out to the pyre? Who then wrapped the corpse, reminiscent of a spouse or closest family member? When Sam turned to Dean and asked what they should do about Cas, deferred to Dean, like anyone would do to the grieving widower. How Dean proved that of course he thought of praying for his return, how could Sam even think he hadn't?

Dean is not just hurting, he’s been focused on Cas throughout the whole episode (day), every single thing he has done has had a blanket of his feelings over the grief of Cas over the top. Every possible relevant moment has had this. Even seemingly totally separate moments with other characters were linked to Dean and Cas (Jack learning about humanity through Clark was a direct mirror and beautiful). 

Then finally this

This whole episode SCREAMED that Dean was mourning for Cas. That Cas was the number one priority and thought in Dean’s mind at all times. That the writer was purposefully mirroring other characters to Dean/Cas relationship. That Sam was devastated too but in a different way. 

There were so many OTHER meta points, so many other plot points, so many other character points such as Jack learning who he is, Sam’s grief etc. and these were all delivered so profoundly, there was just this blanket of Destiel over EVERYTHING.

This whole episode is brilliant, this and the episodes to come I’m sure show us that the theme for Dean’s arc rest on his emotions and key amount this is his grief over Cas’ death and the things he never got to say before he died.

Andrew Dabb, I salute you.

x x x

[tekilluas]

another thing...

also just as a huge fan of tvd, supernatural's ending was kind of insulting?????

tvd spoilers//

like, tvd ended with two brothers reuniting in the afterlife as they both basically set the entire story of the show in motion together (everything that happens is mostly stefan's fault though). the very first episode ended with them, with damon's "hello, brother" and ended with the same words, just weighted and heavy because they're both dead at that point and their relationship has changed immensely.

stefan dies so that damon can live a long, normal, human life (as it's kind of his fault that damon even became a vampire in the first place). sound familiar? now, dean doesn't die for this reason, as in, he doesn't sacrifice himself on purpose, but the endgame is the same here.

what tvd did so well with this, though, is that it allowed both damon and stefan to breathe, to have experiences and desires separate from each other that were meaningful in developing their characters (elena, alaric, caroline, bonnie, lexi, etc.). so when elena and damon die, they go to the afterlife together but separate to be with their respective families. because that's one of the main overarching themes of the show (if not THE main theme). for elena, that's her mom, dad, jenna, etc. for damon, that's stefan. and that's how it ends.

to me, as crappy as that show became later on, the ending was beautiful and made SENSE for the characters. it makes SENSE for damon to reunite with stefan despite also loving elena because it's been just him and stefan this whole time. but that's okay to depict because we know that time has passed since stefan died, we feel that damon and elena have lived fully, by the end of the episode.

supernatural, on the other hand, rushed through sam's life in a freaking montage (i REALLY hate that montage) and has him reunite with dean as if to say, "hey, really only their relationship as brothers matters here." and that hurt. because we've seen different types of love depicted on the show, different types of relationships & bonds that seemed to matter a whole lot??? that seemed to be important to both sam and dean's development as characters not just as brothers???

like, did they not realize that like, the only reason they've gotten this far in their relationship is because of the people they've met along the way? why did it feel as if they only needed each other to be at peace and happy? oof the codependency of it all.

now, i really like the idea of them meeting in heaven a la the vampire diaries, but it just felt as if everything else that mattered to them before was just brushed aside in order to have them be together YET AGAIN. like, i love their relationship, don't get me wrong, and dean's death crushed my soul, but it was as if their status as characters and individuals with individual desires was ignored for the sake of bromance.

then again, the show never really tried to explore that, their happiness, like tvd did. the closest we got was cas' entire existence in dean's life and eileen's in sam's. and tfw 2.0 itself. which is even weirder because cas isn't there. he's mentioned, okay cool, but he isn't there. you can't possibly expect me to believe that sam alone (well, and the impala) is enough for dean. to be happy. and at peace. when he's expressed a desire and a NEED for cas to be with them. with him. okay.

they just went from one ultimatum to another, ignoring nuance and character. ignoring the possibility that "hey, maybe we can do both in some way? maybe we can illustrate that happiness is more than one person, and love from & experiences with others makes us who we are? and that there are so so so many people in our lives who have brought us here today? and that brothers should be allowed to chase after their own happiness and should be allowed respite to HAVE IT and spend time in it?? and oh, idk, that family doesn't end in blood????"

can you feel my fury yet