#like don't get me wrong it's not a HAPPY ending not for anyone
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crazylittlejester · 3 days ago
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I hope you are doing better cause your posts make me so happy!
I don't know if anyone has said this or not but I think Wars isn't actually that great at taking care of himself! Like he definitely knows how and knows the best tricks but he just would rather take care of the other people around him first/instead. He's the mom friend after all.
He was a Captain so he probably had a lot of younger soldiers under his command and I think he would really try to take them under his wing and help teach them how to take care of themselves properly. That definitely only increased when Mask came around (except Mask actually made sure he took care of himself too)
With the chain I think they've all kind of caught onto this so when Wars is stressed that each has something they go to him for 'help'. Like Wild asks if he can help brush his hair, Legend will ask for sewing/embroidery tips and Wind will lets him ramble about how to get out different stains from his clothes. It gets his mind focused on something else and it actually calms him down a lot oddly enough!
Sorry i definitely rambled a bit but that's my little head canon!
HELL YEAH I 100% agree with this, I have basically the same hc!!
To me it is the act of taking care of someone else that calms Warriors down, like he cannot do it to himself he cannot self care because he stresses he’s doing it wrong, but if he’s taking care of someone else he ends up taking care of himself in the process. I hc he’s a middle child (and the only boy, rip) so to me he’s got a handful of younger sisters and if he ever tried to take care of them by making sure they got extra food, they’d be like “well you have to have some too” and he’d end up being forced to go “okay alright”. Because an older sibling telling him to do something like take care of himself was just going to make him Not Want To Do That, but his little sisters guilt tripping him into it absolutely works
Mask did similar things whenever Warriors would be like “okay bedtime, you have an early morning” by pointing out Warriors ALSO had an early morning. I also hc Mask would get all into his personal space (carefully, ofc) and flop on him and get all cozy and fall asleep in such a way that made it LITERALLY impossible for Warriors to get any more work done so he would HAVE to stop and take a break and put the kid to bed, which made him put HIMSELF to bed. Also the idea that Mask would have a nightmare and be able to comfort himself and get over it and he COULD just go back to sleep, but he’ll go to Warriors anyway because he needs the hug and he knows WARRIORS needs a cuddle and will never ever ask for one, so Mask has to go over there claiming HE needs it
and i agree one billion percent with the idea that the chain will ask his assistance for easy little tasks Warriors absolutely knows how to do that are simple enough to be soothing because he cares for himself by caring for others partly because he needs to feel useful and wanted in order to ever truly relax
does he know HOW self care works? yes. he’s just PHYSICALLY incapable of it because Trauma
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frogsinflannel · 14 hours ago
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WIP Wednesday
-nobody tagged me, but I saw several "consider yourself tagged" so I'm co-opting one of those. don't judge me.
untitled re-established bucktommy snippet feat. eddie
“I just want something to… to show him I’m serious, you know?  Like that this time we’re going to do things right.”
Eddie grunts, out of frame, and then pops up and wipes his forehead, a ring of tape around his wrist like a bracelet.  “Buck, isn’t he the one who broke up with you before?  You had to take him back.  And I know I’ve been teasing you about it, but.”  He shrugs his stupid bare shoulders, wearing one of his stupid muscle tanks.  Buck thinks, not for the first time, that it’s a shame Eddie’s so goddamn terrible with relationships; he could probably pull if he tried.  “I’m kind of glad that he groveled.”
Buck looks down, tries to hide his smile with a hand over his mouth.  “He didn’t… he didn’t grovel.”
“A little bit.”  Eddie’s nose wrinkles and he holds up his thumb and forefinger, almost no space between them.  “He groveled a little bit, and honestly, man?  You deserved it.”
“Well.”  Buck blows a quick stream of air.  “A-anyway, Eddie.  I just.  I want to do this right.”  He makes an emphatic motion with his hands, cutting through the air in front of him.  “I want to be intentional.”
“You could try talking to him,” Eddie suggests.  He has one eyebrow lifted, a challenge, like he thinks Buck’s not going to talk to his own boyfriend.
“We talk,” Buck says.  He’s not being defensive, either, he’s cutting Eddie off at the pass on that one.  “We talk a lot.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, “when you’re not busy doing other things.”
Buck thinks for a moment about trying to argue the point, but Eddie’s right.  He shrugs, instead, and lets his face split into a cocky grin.
Eddie laughs. “Okay, calm down there, big guy. Keep it in your pants. And if just telling him doesn’t work—“ Buck scoffs but Eddie ignores him. “I’m sure you’ll come up with something.”  He takes a deep breath and looks off to the side.  He’s in the living room of his rental and it’s a mess, with his belongings scattered around and boxes everywhere.  Buck’s been talking to him while he’s been packing.  Soon, he and Chris are coming back to LA and Buck can’t wait.  Eddie grabs a baseball cap from the floor, inspects it, then tosses it into the nearest box.  “You know,” he says, groaning as he stretches out to reach something Buck can’t see, “maybe you could do something kind of special for an anniversary.  Take him out, get him to take you out, just.  Do something to mark the occasion.”
“I don’t know,” Buck says.  He watches Eddie pick up a stack of magazines and then throw them in a box, too.  “You don’t think it would send the wrong message?”
“I think it would say ‘hey, I’m happy to be with you, I think that’s worth celebrating, I want to mark this date to celebrate in the future’--which kind of seems like the right message to me.”
It’s not a bad idea, and Buck mulls it over.  Eddie packs up another box as they talk, and then finally tapes it up and gets off the call so he can go to his parents’ house for dinner with them and Chris.  An anniversary could be good.  Maybe.  Though their last anniversary dinner was kind of a disaster and Buck doesn’t want any kind of repeat of that.  Maybe eating at one of their places instead of going out.
About twenty minutes after they hang up, his phone pings with a text from Eddie.
>>>still think the anniversary idea is a good one but instead of going out i thought of something better. Tell tommy this is what you want:
There’s a few seconds delay and then Eddie sends a link.  Buck taps it and an Etsy page opens with a listing for a bandana and a silver tag that both say “It’s my gotcha day!  YOUR DATE HERE.”
>>VERY FUNNY EDDIE
>>HA HA
>>LAUGHING SO HARD RN 😠😠😠
Bubbles show up while Eddie’s typing, and then:
>>>stop barking or i’ll tell him to get a leash
♡♡♡
Tagging anyone who wants to be share a wip, so if you made it to the end of this goofy ass snippet consider yourself tagged!
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arvensimp · 3 days ago
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I LOVE the Leon sneaking around with reader/oc thing you wrote - the Leon theme that's goin on in general is great tbh - but I'm personally more of a Raihan gal, y'know? 🥰 don't know if he's for anyone here but I personally like the completely separate concept of an "older brother's best friend" sorta scenario where the reader/oc is another sibling to Leon (being 18+ of course) and is sneaking around with Raihan.. 😊
Okay so I'm low-key loving this. Let me see how this sounds?
Honey, you've got a big storm comin'
Raihan x fem!reader who is Leon's and Hop's sister. warning for some slightly adult behaviors, but no full on sex
-
Your whole childhood basically revolved around Pokemon. Now, don't misunderstand, you like pokemon well enough! There are tons of cute little kinds, and they're fun! You've got one that you keep around because it's sweet and easy enough to care for.
But between a celebrity champion older brother and a massive pokemon-fan-turned-pokemon-grad-student younger brother, you kind of dealt with enough of the whole "Pokemon Trainer" life. You watched Leon march off (initially in the wrong direction) to become a trainer, then heard all about the hardships of basically camping in the wilderness while he trained for some matches, and Hop ate it up ravenously. But you? You don't really care for The Great Outdoors and all of its associated dangers. Like, people talk about the wild area and how cool it is to be out and about there, but??? People have died there. Yeah, it's dirty, and the weather can change at the drop of a coin, but also??? For real, there are dangerous pokemon out there who can very easily kill someone.
So yeah, like the middle child you very much are, you deviated from your brothers and their obsession with Pokemon training. You're happy living in a proper city in a proper flat with a proper job, not exposing yourself to the elements.
Still, you do care about your boys, so you help them out in your own small way. See, you went to school to become a meteorologist, and you work as the weather reporter on a small, local channel in Hammerlocke. You're able to live a comfortable life in a nice city, not particularly well known as a local celebrity or anything, and you can let your brothers know if there are any bizarre weather phenomena on the horizon while they're out being stupid in the wild area.
It's also kind of nice that you're not super recognizable. Folks don't recognize you in public as a sibling to the champion. You basically go unnoticed, like the middle child that you are. It's not like Lee hides you away or something, but you don't bother going to the majority of his big public events, unlike Hop, who will happily follow your eldest sibling to the ends of the earth, so you've never been "debuted" to the world the way that Hop was when he did that whole Gym Challenge thing.
Still, Lee always invites you anyway. It just so happens that this latest event of his is in Hammerlocke, so you figure you might as well attend. Hop had to study for exams, and you're not busy with anything else. Truth be told, it might do you some good to socialize a bit more. You'd been spending an awful lot of time cooped up in your flat lately.
This brings you to your current situation, chilling at the buffet of some Rose Sponsored Event in Hammerlocke Stadium's lavish upper floors. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall windows overlook the greenery of the pitch below, so you figure this must be some kind of box space for major movers and shakers within the pokemon league for when they do their matches below. You'd never bothered visiting the stadium before today, despite living in Hammerlocke for a few years, so it's kind of neat to see. You can cross it off your bucket list or whatever.
Lee is off chatting it up with whatever bigwigs are trying to get him to wear their logo, so you haven't had the chance to grab his ear and say hello just yet. Instead you're eyeing some curry puffs and mini quiches, trying to decide how much would be polite to load up on your plate, when you hear someone's voice.
"Aaaaand that's our GBC 12 Hammerlocke News today. Up next, the weather." The phrase makes your ears perk. It's the one the news anchor speaks every day just before your segment on air. Internally, you cringe. Someone must've recognized you. You plaster on your Broadcast Smile and look to the source.
"Haha," The laugh is as stiff and uncomfortable as you feel. "Sounds like I've been spotted..."
The man who drew your attention is surprisingly tall, giving you a grin with teeth so sharp that on anyone else they'd seem almost predatory, but with his relaxed posture and overall chill demeanor, you're not getting any vibes of ill intent. Maybe (probably) cockiness? But nothing bad. The discomfort you'd felt at being recognized melts away like ice in a heat wave, replaced with a warm thrum of nervous excitement. He's very handsome, and you certainly don't mind attention from someone like him. In his hand is a rotom phone. He gestures with it as he speaks.
"Well, yeah. Gotta keep up with current events; especially gotta keep up with the weather. Can't control what you don't know, am I right?"
No, that didn't entirely make sense to you, but you smile politely and nod anyway. He's definitely easy on the eyes, and getting easier the longer you look.
"So they're inviting the press to these events now, I'm guessing?" The man goes on. "Kinda surprised they'd ask the weather girl to come schmooze it up and get photos and whatnot." He gives a bark of a laugh, and his stark white teeth gleam. "Then again, I suppose it does make for a thematically pretty picture–the weather girl with the weather specialist."
Weather specialist? You think to yourself. Is that some kinda pokemon thing? Whatever.
"Actually, I'm not--"
"Here, get in, and we'll snap some shots, and I can text'em--"
The pair of you speak at once, so you stop and try again.
"Oh, so you want my--"
"Wait, you're not--"
You both laugh this time. He gestures for you to go ahead and speak first, uninterrupted. You can't help but smile, teasingly calling him out.
"I was gonna say. So you just want to get my number, so you can send over those pictures? No other reason?"
"Ahh, ya caught me." Another laugh. Gosh, his eyes are a captivating blue... "Maybe I want your number..." He doesn't sound ashamed at all. "Not every day you get to meet the cute weather girl you see on TV, right?"
"Well it's not every day a cute weather girl meets someone as impressive as you." You eye him up and down very obviously. You're not typically this brazen a flirt, but it's kinda nice to chat someone up like this once in a while.
The man picks up on your traveling gaze, and his smile widens. "Listen, they're not gonna be making any crazy toasts or announcements or anything for a minute... Wanna maybe go somewhere private til then?"
It's a very tempting offer. Your eyes scan the room til they find Lee. He's still engrossed in conversation with some older guy with a pudgy belly and facial hair even patchier than Lee's own sad attempts at a beard (you only tease him about that a little bit). It definitely seems like they'll be there a while, so why not?
"Do you know a place?"
"Heh. Cute. C'mon, I'll lead the way." You feel the warmth of his hand trail down to the small of your back as he guides you from the room. He takes you through a few winding corridors before stopping at a massive mahogany door. It's unlocked, so the pair of you slip inside. The only light you can see is from some kind of underlit dragon themed bauble on what looks like a desk. Maybe this is an office? You can't make out many details, but you also don't have much of a chance before the man pins you to the door, resting his forearm over your head.
He towers over you, even in your heels, in the most attractive way, and you're left with no choice but to tilt your head up to meet his gaze in the dim purple lighting of the room.
From there it's easy enough for him to press his lips to yours. Seems like neither of you felt the need to chit chat further. He's warm, and the clean scent of his cologne fills your senses. Kissing him comes naturally, intoxicatingly. You hum against his lips, and he pulls away just enough to start trailing kisses down your jaw. His free hand takes a hold of your jaw, tilting it to expose your neck and collarbone to him, which he happily bites with those sharp teeth of his. Nothing too hard so as to hurt, just enough to entice and make you squirm.
You thread your own hands around the back of his neck, pressing him just a bit closer to you. "Very nice..." You hum. "But come back here." You pull his face back to your mouth, so you can kiss him again. It'd be an issue if he left any hickies, purposeful or otherwise.
"Yes, ma'am," He laughs softly against your mouth. The hand he'd used to tilt your jaw shifts, just so, to cup it instead, but you gently take it, threading your fingers over his. You hold him there for a moment, savoring your kisses. It's easy between you, finding a rhythm to enjoy, so it doesn't take much more from him for you to squeeze his fingers just a bit and guide his hand down to your chest. He fondles you eagerly, honest to goodness groaning at that first squeeze. Or maybe he's groaning at the sound you made in reaction. You can feel him smile against your lips, biting them softly.
"Ohh, atta girl, give me more of that, yeah?" He whispers between kisses. His hand works its way under your top and into your bra.
You moan as he pinches your nipple between two warm, calloused fingers. You want to ask for more, maybe wriggle your way out of your top, see if he might match you in undressing, but the man's rotom phone loudly dings several times in quick succession. The groan from its owner is of an entirely different sort as he silences the device and checks his notifications. "Agh, damn. I'm sorry, but we'll have to cut this short. Looks like someone's wondering where I am up there, and I can't leave him waiting."
Very frustrating, but you get it. It's probably for the best, too. Lee's bound to find you missing eventually.
"Gotcha..." You sound more breathless than you thought you would.
The man gives your breast a teasing squeeze and a peck on the mouth before he fully pulls away from you and opens the door to the corridor behind you.
"Don't worry. We can pick back up where we stopped later, if you're up for it." He winks.
"Well, it'd be a shame to keep a girl like me waiting for very long, right?" You reply, slipping your hand into his as you make your way back to the event space together. Along the way, you double check that you haven't mussed your hair or makeup noticeably.
Your grip loosens and you pull away from one another by the time he opens the door for you. He gives a teasing bow, gesturing for you to enter before him, so you oblige. Inside, the same pudgy man who had been chatting Lee's ear off seems to be coming to the end of some kind of toast. The pair of you quickly snatch some champagne flutes to join in the "Cheers!" when he finishes.
The hum of the crowd then picks back up as conversations start anew, and your new friend departs quickly to wherever he was needed, so you head back to that buffet line, suddenly remembering those curry puffs that you didn't get to try. Lee can find you whenever, you figure.
True to form, a few minutes pass, and you hear your name being called the same way you've heard since you were a kid. Lee is politely pushing his way through groups of people to you. You offer him a mini quiche (you've eaten an embarrassing number of them already), which he takes without a second thought.
"Mm, thanks. You must've been bored to tears here." Lee says as he eats. "Sorry I haven't been able to show you 'round yet. Here, we can make the rounds together. I'll introduce you to my colleagues."
As it turns out, your big brother knows every person in the room by name. He couldn't find his way out of a paperbag, but he can learn faces and names apparently. They all blend into a massive blur for you, all the different gym leaders, their top gym trainers, and some guy wearing a pokeball costume, of all things.
"Aaah, there he is!" Lee eventually says, guiding you away from the beautiful ice gym leader and her adult son, another top trainer of the region. You've already forgotten their names. Emily? Jordy?
Lee puts on an air as he continues. "Dearest little sister, please allow me the pleasure of introducing you to the gym leader of Hammerlocke. I'm sure you've seen him on the telly or some such."
Ah, fuck.
"My very best mate."
Damn it.
"My closest rival."
Son of a bitch.
"And the second best trainer in Galar."
Blast it all to hell and back.
"Raihan."
Your mystery guy with the big hands, stunning eyes, and beautiful teeth stands in front of you, smiling between Lee and you.
"Raihan, meet my little sister."
Raihan, for his part, barely falters for a second as he learns your identity.
"Champ." He says between too-tight-teeth. "I don't think you ever mentioned a sister. I'm hurt."
"You sure, mate?" It's an honest question. Bless Lee's dumbest of asses.
Raihan nods, and Lee laughs it off. "Ah, you know... She's got herself all hidden away in her flat. Not much into the whole league thing, so I must've...uh..." He looks down at you. "Forgotten? But only in the kindest way!" He attempts to placate you.
"I've been hidden in a flat in this town." You remind him, face flushed from embarrassment. Of course the hottest guy here (who has also already felt you up and had his tongue down your throat) is your big brother's best friend. "You'd think I'd have come up at some point."
"Well, you never wanna come to my matches anyway. Besides, you're the one who lives here. Why has it taken you so long to come down to the stadium? You could've met Raihan ages ago."
You curl in on yourself a bit. Yeah, it's probably not amazing form that you didn't even recognize the gym leader and second best trainer in the region, much less the man who's supposed to be your brother's best mate. That isn't a great look.
"Listen, I'm sure your sweet little sister here was just too busy with her job. She's a local celebrity, you know." Raihan comes to the rescue. Kinda.
"Yeah? I didn't realize that many people saw her. You knew who she was?" Lee sounds impressed.
"Well I've only been watching her as long as they've been broadcasting her!" Raihan laughs. "I just didn't know she was your sister." He looks down at you and narrows eyes slightly. It's probably imperceptible to Lee, but you're not quite sure how to read it. Is he mad that you didn't know him? That you didn't say who you were? "But like I told her earlier, what kinda weather specialist would I be if I didn't pay attention to the upcoming forecasts?"
In the back of your mind, you can feel it. There's absolutely a storm coming.
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permanentreverie · 2 years ago
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how did your quick prediction before the last few pages turn out? 😃😭
I HAD A SLIGHT HUNCH AND I WAS RIGHT BUT I STILL ENDED UP SCREAMING AND CRYING
#spoilers for tpw:#I mean the only way for it to end is for Rin to die.#as I was nearing the end I knew she couldn't be placed in any place of legal power#because that's not RIN. she's not a ruler; she's a soldier. a weapon.#and in the last quarter or so I was thinking that I wouldn't put it past Kuang to kill Rin.#I am so very satisfied with the ending though#like don't get me wrong it's not a HAPPY ending not for anyone#it hurt. it really fucking hurt.#but it was the only way to end a trilogy like that and a character like that#don't get me wrong I would have loved for a character like rin to get absolution and peace at the end of everything.#but this isn't that kind of story.#and I think with all of her destruction - like this girl is 21 and has committed genocide.#the blood of hundreds of thousands on her hand(s)#and she showed no remorse. like the book said she would have razed the world to keep her semblance of peace#she's doomed by the narrative#she's been dead since the beginning#there is no other way this story ends#a war orphan beaten and ridiculed who clawed her way to power who stank of addiction to keep herself sane with a god that threatened#to break her psyche screeching in her mind as she burned people and cities and COUNTRIES to ash and brittle like they were paper.#gosh I can write a paper on her character. it has been so long since a book has made me want to write an essay.#ANYWAYS I'm getting off track lollz what was your question?#oh yes the ending was excruciating but also so liberating I want to drink warm cider and stare deeply into the abyss#and let the finale swallow me whole#tldr I kinda suspected it but the way it was executed was everything. so good. what a fitting ending.#answered asks
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stars-n-spice · 10 months ago
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Here the thing is-
Episode 15 better fucking be 3 hours long or some shit because what the FUCK!
And if it's not, it better end with like the fucking "The Bad Batch will return" title card shit they have at the end of Marvel movies with there being an announcement for a new series that is a continuation of the Bad Batch but it maybe called something else because it doesn't only relate to the Bad Batch.
I see people saying let's get a "Tales of the Clones" and that would be great, amazing even, but seeing as the last two "Tales of the [thing]" were series comprised of two stories focused on two characters (and backstories at that) I don't really see it working out well in tying things up in Bad Batch.
If anything, maybe it'll work, but if they do a "Tales of the Clones" I do hope it follows Rex leading some kind of clone rebellion or something and then also Cody and seeing him go to Tatooine to find Obi-Wan.
Even better? We get "Tales of the Clones" AND an additional other clone show that ties up everything in the Bad Batch.
Hahaha....right? Not like Star Wars would let us down, right? They totally would give the fans what they want instead of what they think they want, right? Right?
I say all of this as I put on my clown wig, nose, and shoes.
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waveridden · 10 days ago
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watched the l*ne st*r finale and went man i can't wait to see all the posts ripping this bullshit to shreds and let me tell you. that's not what's happening on tumblr dot com
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adore-gregor · 2 months ago
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.
#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful#having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad#and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop#i hate it sm#and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still#it always gets worse in the evening#like help i just want this to end#what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left#in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid#and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh#to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm#i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵‍💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst#i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot#and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat#well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦‍♀️
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flowerofmayhem-personal · 1 year ago
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I actually much prefer a lot of how studio VOLN is handling Blue Exorcist over A-1, I know not a popular opinion in areas and get the places people say looks off but the vibes and heart is so good? also there is a lot of amazing shots and imo calling Rin "ugly" in it is an exaggeration to me, there's some wonky shots but there's also SO MANY he looks great! I think sometimes people forget that A-1 had equally bad shots and design choices like I think a lot are looking at the older seasons through rose colored glasses personally! not to mention they ruined a lot of scenes and how they changed them/adjusted them in their adaption that to me affected characterization and making some of the cast look almost dumb in a situation the manga version shows was more serious and dire!
ultimately my view has been: I'd rather an adaption feel like the heart is in the right place and the characters feel like themselves vs everything being pretty all the time and would rather deal with a few wonky shots of characters over a bad representation of a story and characters I love! visuals are not the only thing that matters to me ever
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dedicatedfollower467 · 6 months ago
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my brain is being loud and mean about gender stuff again and i really wish it wouldn't do this.
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eclarinet · 7 months ago
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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soryualeksi · 2 years ago
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tw child death tw harm to pregnant people
#so after 5 years of searching i found someone who was working on the car crash i was witness and did first aid at when i was pregnant#a lady who was also pregnant and about as far along as me probably further was crushed by falling debris#she was a pedestrian and a driver fainted in his car accelerated and crashed through several pedestrian spaces and then metal beams fell#i knew she lived as far as ICU but i don't know what came after that#and i kept searching for someone who could tell me whether her child pulled through#well i found someone yesterday and it's not the happy ending i kept wishing for#the baby was emergency delivered right at the ER trauma room back then like 5 minutes from the ambulance arriving and loading her#but had to be declared dead right there#and i always kind of knew this was the outcome because i remember asking at the hospital even tho obviously they weren't allowed to tell me#but when they said the good things they were allowed to they all got a thousand yard stare#so since that day i knew that her baby died and mine lived#but having confirmation from someone who was there is still. sigh.#it's good to have no hypotheticals anymore tho i think it will help me get closure#i wish her child could have lived too#she'd done nothing wrong but be at the 'wrong' spot in a pedestrian space at that time. there's no reason and no meaning.#there's no meaning to human suffering. suffering is just suffering. it's always a bad thing period.#ah man sorry to throw trauma at y'all#it's unlikely anyone here remembers. i did blog about it back then. and it was what made me change career to EMT#i guess it's good to know in a way that even if i *had* been an EMT back then there was nothing in human hands to save her baby#nobody could do it#there is patients you cannot save no matter what and it's not a failure on your part#we are all humans with the good and the bad and the strengths and the limitations#so that's my musings#it's good to finally know for sure after all this time searching but it's also hard#ah what a downer story in the morning#the man who was next to her was fine#it's so unfair and meaningless#gotta work harder on easing this unfair and meaningless suffering#child death cw#harm to pregnant people cw
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mobpd · 4 months ago
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I'm so lonely i'm so lonely i'm so fucking lonely
#thinking about death and i'm just. crying#sometimes I finally find the perfect way to describe all of my pain in a way that'll actually make sense to someone else#and I just cry. it hurts. it hurts#of course i'm not telling anyone. but imagine getting the chance to#i'm tired of feeling the same pains over and over again#it gets old. it gets old complaining about it. people get tired of hearing it#eventually you just have to stay silent. stay silent. unnoticeable. keep your head down. never smile. never express yourself#but that ruins everything too#why can't I do anything right#what does everyone else seem to get that I don't#I shouldn't even be so afraid in the first place. it's the fact my head's not normal#everything will always break because I can't be normal#I try so hard to break the cycle or stop myself from doing what ruined everything before and it doesn't work. it doesn't work!#I just ruin everything still! nobody wants or loves you enough to deal with you! nobody can stand you!#even if they did you just wear them down until they can't anymore#nobody cares about you nobody cares if you're hurting nobody cares about your happiness nobody cares if you end up dead#everyone can see what you really are#they would laugh if they saw you die#they want you to die. just give them what they want. this is the best for everyone. things aren't better because you haven't done it#I have dreams of people I know murdering me raping me telling me to kill myself walking on my corpse#I feel like an object. a bug. am I even real? what am i? why do I exist? why is this happening? why does my head hurt?#god doesn't like who I am either#just swallow them down. swallow them down and nothing will be wrong
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dailymanners · 3 months ago
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Tips and ideas for how to respond when someone is being rude to you
For personal reasons I won't get into, I have a history of just freezing when some is rude / hostile / aggressive / condescending / patronizing / etc. It's obviously not something I'm happy about at all, most people who freeze or fawn aren't happy about it and would change it if they could.
One day I confided in my co-worker, a middle aged woman in her 50's, that this is something I struggle with. Considering how confident and assertive she always struck me as, I was shocked when she told me this is also something she's struggled with.
The advice she gave me is to just memorize and practice a few broad statements or reactions that you can pull out of your pocket so to speak when someone is being rude or disrespectful to you. It's not easy if you're someone who's been conditioned to freeze or fawn, but practice helps. Practice saying these things when you're alone. Put up a sticky note next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror with these phrases and practice them when you see them. Practice saying these with a partner or trusted friend, role-play scenarios where you might need to use these phrases.
Here's a few phrases that have worked for me. The nice thing about them is that they tend to shut down the situation rather than escalating, while still letting the aggressor know that you don't find their behavior acceptable.
"Are you okay?"
This works well in professional settings, because it's not like your work place's residential bully can run to HR about you asking if they're okay (but they might if you try to retaliate and give them a taste of their own medicine). However, it still effectively sends the message "I think there's something wrong with your behavior and don't accept it". It's also not likely the response they're expecting, so it'll likely throw them off and prevent further verbal aggression.
"Could you repeat that for me? I didn't catch what you said."
This one is most effective for people you believe to actually have a conscious and might regret what they said if they actually thought about it a little more. I find that often when I do this one, when people repeat the rude/snippy/patronizing/etc thing they either shamefully stumble over their words and show some remorse, or they change altogether what they say. In the off chance they don't regret what they said and end up repeating exactly what they said, this at least buys you some time to think of a better reaction since you're no longer caught off guard by a sudden rude and snippy remark.
"Can you explain what you mean by that?"
Similar logic to the last one. Often when people are being rude/snippy/patronizing/etc they're caught up in their own emotions in that moment and didn't think it through. This is a polite and civil way of putting their rude behavior in the spotlight and making them reconsider what they said. The other advantage to this one is that in case you did misread their intentions and they meant no harm by what they said or did, this gives them an opportunity to clarify that, instead of you just feeling bad over a statement or actions they actually had no ill intentions with.
If anyone has any further examples of reactions / responses / statements that have worked for them, I'd love to hear about them. I'm new to studying the art of how to civilly yet effectively shut down bad behavior from others, so I'm always open to hearing more suggestions.
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medicinemane · 11 months ago
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The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...
Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good
Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are
Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up
Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you
#mm tag so i can find things later#and whatever you think this is about and however you've already decided it agrees with you#I'll say this is about like... minimum 2 topics at very different points in the political spectrum... and probably like 20 easy#so like... it may well be talking about your own behavior on certain subjects#I'm talking about not even being willing to entertain good faith questions#and especially about labeling anyone who doesn't tow your exact party line a horrible person#...the amount of shit where it's like 'you know I actually agree with you... except for this one major sticking point'#'just tell me how we deal with this one pretty big thing and I'm fully on board' and... well actually you're terrible for that#or the amount of places where it's like I agree with your goals; but not your methods but... I don't think arguing would do a damn thing#you've already dug your heels in so deep and maybe you're even right to do it.. but I'll never go along with it no matter what that makes m#and the number of overall good people I know who this post is honestly about#they may well be far better than I am; I've never claimed to be good; quite the opposite#and yet I'm afraid I have to say that... to me you're wrong; wrong in concrete ways#maybe you could even address my concerns and help me see with my stupid brain why these aren't issues... but you won't#because you're right; and you know you're right; and so you'll never be wrong#and this isn't just some idle whataboutism... or maybe it is; I'll never say I'm the moral arbiter; again I could be wickedly wrong#and there's a variety of reasons someone believes what they believe; but... there's often blind dogma at the end#I may be stupid; but I can usually draw a line from my stance to something in the world#maybe it's a stupid nonsense line and I don't see my mental gymnastics... very well could be#but I can draw a line... it's not just circular logic; it's not just bouncing between two points#and I often can actually point to places I'm not happy with how things are or will be... we live in the real world and that sucks#example that... man it's more politically charged than I like getting; but ok#I really want this Ukrainian aid to pass even though I don't like the Israeli aid attached... but I get that's the only way it's passing#I want the Ukraine aid because I see residential houses getting stuck by missiles; but I don't want the Israeli aid for the same reason#and it comes down to that I think that the aid amount is sufficiently higher to Ukraine to make it enough of a net positive#I could be wrong... but you can at least see my work; I'm coming at it from a perspective of bombing civilians is wrong#I could be stupid; I could point to two people I know on here who would tell me I'm stupid for at least one part of this... probably all#yet there it is... and... it'll be hard to convince me otherwise
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scoriarose · 3 months ago
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What horrors has she seen?!?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
she screamin Cinder '24 0.1 Cal Flame Eryx colubrinus
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houseofpurplestars · 1 year ago
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What really gets me about the sentiment "Don't look away" is that its always used in the wrong context. People may be well meaning, but what they end up doing is flooding the conversation with zionist carnage in a manner not unlike the way zionists *want* their atrocities to be seen.
Rather than thinking, "I must traumatize myself with this image for Palestine," try, "I will not turn my back on the people of Palestine." Watching them die is not enough. Speaking only of their suffering is not enough.
Don't look away when Palestinians resist. Don't condemn them when they fight for their lives and land. Speak for their rights to live and move freely in their own homeland. Do not look away from their life. Palestinians are here, they remain, and they will remain, and they are in the future, and they will live free and happy lives just as anyone else should be able to.
"Don't look away" should not be a call to engage in real life atrocities like its a horror movie. "Don't look away" should be a call to make Palestine the focus of everything. Don't let people FORGET or IGNORE what is happening. You can talk about what is happening without sharing the same ghoulish photos that zionists love.
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