#like bitch fucking please oh my god that is so!! freaking!!!! terrifying!!!!!!!!

[girlivealwaysbean]

ah yes the "im so overwhelmed I have so much to do that I don't even know where to begin so I just don't i don't do anything" feeling. welcome back old friend

[supernova41st]

Can I request tf2 mercs with a reader who is genuinely terrifying. Like there quiet, sneaky, uncanny, basically reader is kinda like the mercs very own cryptid. (Bonus points if reader is tall af<3)

Boo 🤍

A/n: Spy’s is a little short here 😣 I hope you weren’t too eager to see his lol. I got a little experimental with this one, not too much tho. Also I’ll be going on another break, I know I just finished one but I’m going through an unexpected rough time rn. So sorry guys, hope you enjoy <33

Warnings: Video used may be a spoiler for s2 of scream queens, Praying is used in a humorous light

To start things off, you introduced yourself in the worst way possible. The bus that you were supposed to take got broken down so you had to find your way through the base without knowing where the entrance was. So what’d you do? Bang into a bunch of glass windows at 3am while it was RAINING. Some of the mercs were up trying to fix up the power generator and..

I saved that clip for weeks I’m so happy I have a reason to use it now

I know they’re all supposed to be big bad mercs but you scared the living FUCK out of them.

Scout

This man went running. He went all the way from the generator to the fucking bunks in the span of a minute! So what’d he do when he got to his room? He grabbed his cross necklace, got on his knees, and started PRAYING.

“Please god Jesus frickin’ Christ hear my prayers, save me-I’m sorry about all those magazines I keep under my bunk and I’m sorry that I told spy to go fuck himself when he told me I couldn’t pull bitches and I’m sorry I call girls bitches please just don’t let me friggin’ die dude!!”

He just kept chanting the same things until Miss Pauling found him cradling himself on his bed with a blanket wrapped around him.

“Scout what are you doing?”

“THERE IS A GHOST IN THE BASE.”

“Oh, you mean y/n?”

‘Hi 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️’

Yea he was pretty freaked out by you. To make it worse, you always just stare at him. He can’t remember a single moment where he looked at you and didn’t catch your tiny pupils locked onto him.

At first he’d just gently wave awkwardly while you did the same so freakishly. Eventually he decided to say something because it was scaring him, something he’ll never admit

“Yo you got a problem or somethin’, what’s with all the stares?”

“Nothing, I just like looking at you. Your structure pleases me.”

“..oh, well that’s actually-wait I thought-hold on do you really-pfft-Yeesh, I didn’t expect you out of everyone to haha.. Yknow”

Yeah he was blushing like crazy, such a straightforward compliment.

He’s still scared of you, but he uses you as his hype man every now and then. He’ll fish for compliments and WILL receive them

“Dontcha think I got some nice racks for a guy?”

“..Totally”

He could literally walk up to you and threaten to kill you and your reaction is just “yuh go for it”

If you’re freakishly tall then he calls you tree. Cuz

If you’re on the shorter side then he would just pick you up from the shoulders and kiss you on the forehead. He knows you won’t do shit, you’re literally just 🧍‍♀️

(gotg reference)

“I am hideous? :(“

“You kiddin’? You’re horrifying to look at”

Engineer

He didn’t even notice everyone else went running, he just kept on working on the electrical box. So when he stood up and saw you staring straight into the glass, he jumped a little but was mostly just confused

“What in the..”

“tap tap-Can you let me in?”

You’re lucky he didn’t go running like everyone else, you probably would’ve died from the flu if you spent another second outside in the freezing rain.

He puts a bell on you. He just had one laying around and tied it around the your wrist, it didn’t work because of how stiff your movements were so to ‘help’ you rang it against his ear.

“..”

“…..🔔🔔🔔🔔”

“GOD DAMN IT- oh, y/n”

“Sorry, the bell wasn’t ringing how you wanted it to so I rang it myself”

“Uh-huh, thanks for the warning partner”

From my experience southern people love to make conversation, but you aren’t really familiar with that. So when he tries to flirt it gets pretty awkward

“How’s it goin’ sugar, I reckon your looking quite nice today”

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️”

“..you gonna say anythin’ back?”

“Oh, um.. I like your face.”

“Woah, alright then.”

He feels so embarrassed when he stands next to your tall ass, it makes him feel belittled. Especially when you actively have to look down just to make eye contact

But if you’re short then he loves it. Finally for once he doesn’t have to be reminded of his height when standing next to anyone.

Spy

He’s gone as soon as you show up. Like straight up disappears. He doesn’t like to show fear-makes him look weak

He’s convinced you could still see him though, cuz you happen to look in his direction even while he was invisible.

You don’t scare him as much as the others, if anything he took a bit of a liking to you because you stressed him out the least compared to the others. He always stood next to you + you were always his first pick for missions

You always make small talk with him. He doesn’t enjoy it but he still responds

“What is under your mask?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Why? Do you look like me?”

Spy doesn’t know if he should feel offended or annoyed

You don’t necessarily startle him like everyone else but you do make his heart jump slightly when you pop out of nowhere, you can see it in his pupils but never his body.

Pyro

HE RAN TOO BUT DIDN’T KNOW WHY LMFAO

He just saw everyone running and went ‘oh okay we’re doing this now 🏃‍♂️’

But seriously, he fell in love with you at first sight. Your features felt so intricate to him, you always gave each other blank stares, zoning into each other’s eyes.

‘⚫️ ⚫️’

“👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️ hi”

“⚫️ ⚫️ mmf”

You’re the only person who can fully understand him. No, not using his body language, you can actually tell what he’s saying. He aw’s at that, finally someone knows what he’s saying.

It makes him more self aware than how he was before, he’ll say some really petty shit and when you react he panics

“Mmph mmm”

“um pyro I need you to calm yourself”

“Mm!”

Somehow you disturb HIM, you’ll point something out to him and talk to him like he’s crazy which makes him crazy

“Pyro, you reek of fire, it’s 30° outside, and it’s a cease day. Do you have any thoughts?”

“Mmmf mmm mph ☹️”

*plz leave me alone

Since you and him are so observant, the rest of the mercs are a little spooked by you guys. You’ll be in the corner with him watching and everyone is fairly weirded out.

“Mm mmmfmm mm”

“Pyro you’re hilarious.”

“What did thing say?”

“He said that if you were a littlest pet shop figure you’d be #508”

“..heavy is not sure what he expected”

[madamechrissy]

Up in The Air

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ Suguru Geto x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Breeding kink (Suguru needs twins) getting tied up, ass smacking, oral fixation, body worship, blow jobs, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, Suguru being sexy bc why nottt

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ You have been jilted at the altar by your groom, Mahito, who has led you on for years. Your best friends, Maki and Yuta, suggest to go on this Honeymoon alone, to get away and find yourself again. On the plane ride, you run into a gorgeous man on a business trip, who holds your hand when you say that you're terrified of planes, Suguru Geto. You all fall into easy conversation, and there's chemistry, he makes you feel better than you had in a long time. You think to ask his number, when he realizes that his room has fallen through.

Well, you have a big honeymoon suite, and you suggest he stays with you. What can go wrong? Not like you don't wanna straddle him or anything...

Chapter 6 -- Masterlist Playlist

Chapter 7

Every inch of you feels deliciously sore as you yawn, stretching the next morning, and Suguru isn’t there. You frown a bit, sitting up, realizing what time it must be, and then get dressed, padding around the suite. You flush when you see the table has a little bag and a note, and see that Suguru grabbed you breakfast.

You pick out a blueberry muffin, nibbling and looking at the little paper with pretty handwriting.

You looked so cute, I couldn’t wake you. I’ll only be gone until noon. Please eat something? And drink water.

You exhale, touched by his thought, your nerves leaving a bit, and you peek at your phone, blinking in shock when you see what time it is.

“Shit, I slept that much?” You mumble to yourself, realizing it was well past eleven already.

You get dressed in your bikini and coverup, since you weren’t sure what you all were doing today, then call Maki on video chat. She answers quickly, and as soon as she sees you she gasps.

“Is that a hickey! Is that… several hickeys!?” You giggle, nodding and she freaks out. “Tell me, bitch!”

“I’m totally not a virgin.”

“Ah! How was it?”

“Fucking amazing. Ugh.” You set her down on your dresser, fixing up your hair in a ponytail.

“Details, details!”

“Okay… like he’s so amazing, Maki. His tongue is like… otherworldly, his fingers? Ugh. But his cock…"

“It’s big isn’t it!”

“It’s huge, Maki oof. I’m so sore!” She’s giggling, as are you, as you take her in the bathroom now, doing a little mascara and some moisteruizer. “Maki like I came so much…”

“Bitch now I’m jealous! Are you gonna do it again?”

“I totally did it twice.” You blush as she freaks. “I know, I know. I’d have gone again, but he’s so sweet, he didn’t wanna hurt me. I… have it bad for him, really bad. I almost said…”

“Oh shit, babe.” She covers her mouth, and you exhale, leaning on the bathroom counter and washing your hands.

“I know. I don’t wanna say, hey, I know we don’t know each other, but I’m falling for you? How psycho does that sound!”

“It’s not psycho, it’s how you feel.” You sigh, opening the door and then leaning back against it. “Just be honest.”

“I am gonna scare him away. I was so worried… when I woke up he wasn’t there, but he left me this cute note! Ugh, he’s so perfect.”

“You’re so cute, I’m so happy for you. And he's so hot!”

“He is so gorgeous...”

“Thanks, Princess. So are you.” You gasp, nearly dropping the phone, it’s bouncing between your hands as you try to catch it, as you see Suguru Geto casually leaned against the front door.

“Oh shit! Oh my god…”

“You drop me?”

“Maki, gosh. Um… gotta go? Love you.”

You end the call, covering your face in embarrassment. “Oh no, how much of that did you hear!?”

He smirks a bit, coming to walk to you now, looking stupidly handsome in his pinstripe suit and skinny black tie, his hair all put up today in some sleek bun. He’s barring you against the bathroom door, leaning down, towering over you, and you inhale that yummy scent of his, mouth watering, your eyes catching his, seductive glint in those cat eyes of his.

“I heard that I have a huge dick.”

You're bright red. “Well… you do.”

He laughs a bit, then sighs, caressing your face gently. “May have heard a few more things.”

Your eyelashes flutter, as you look down a bit. “I’m sorry, I wish I could keep my mouth shut-”

“Ah-ah. Look at me.” You do as he commands, eyes locking, and he’s serious for a moment, studying you. “Tell me what you said to your friend.”

“That I…” You tremble, sweaty hands sliding up his expensive suit jacket, pulling at the fabric gently. “It’ll scare you.”

“I’m not easily scared. Say it.” He kisses your forehead softly, sweetly, then your cheek, then to the corner of your mouth. You feel desire and strong, insane feelings mix, making you feel weak.

“I’m falling for you, Suguru.” You manage a whisper, and then he moans, picking you up in his arms, and smashing his lips on yours. You moan, eagerly gripping his shoulders, wrapping your legs around narrow hips, nearly naked in your bikini as he’s fully clothed in a damn three piece. “Sugu…”

“You’re so beautiful, Princess. I missed you.” He whispers the words, chocolate eyes locking on yours, and you whine, pathetic, gripping him tighter, smashing your lips hungrily for him.

“I missed you. I was so… worried…”

“I’m sorry.” He’s got you on the kitchen table now, yanking your head back by gripping your hair, kissing your lips brutally, your thighs close in on him, craving that friction. “I should have said I was leaving.”

“No, no, the note… cute… sweet…” You’re kissing on his neck, right near his starched collar, and he groans, pressing against you harder. “Sugu…”

“You looked too peaceful.” He’s kissing you more, as you yank on his tie, and he’s got your cover up shoved up, yanking your tits out, they bounce as they fall out of your top, bouncing in front of him, and he groans. “These perfect tits.”

“Please, please…” He moans, kissing down your breasts, gripping them in his big hands, you arch your back up, yanking his tie down for more of his touch.

“Please what, Princess? Use your words for me.” He orders, silken voice shooting more desire through your body, wanting more of him, on top of you, inside of you.

You gulp, licking your lips. “Please make love to me, Sugu.” At that he nearly growls, yanking down your bottoms in one fell swoop, baring your swollen little pussy to the cool air in the suite, and to his hungry gaze. “Oh, please.”

“Anything for you, love.” He whispers, then he’s kissing down your tummy, making it tremble, as his hand slides down and cups you between your plush thighs. “This wet, from hardly anything? So needy for me?”

You nod, eagerly, and it turns him on more, his cheeks flushed, eyes getting lidded, as he slides a finger in, making you gasp, as he pushes past that tight little ring of muscles and hits that spot that makes you see stars. He presses, arching that long finger, kissing further and spreading your thighs wide.

“Keep telling me what you want, Princess.” He kisses up your soft inner thigh, tickling you and making you even wetter, as you throb in need for his touch.

“Lick me, please, Suguru.” He moans, breath hot on your cunt, and you lean back against the table on your elbows, as he slips his tongue up, in a long stripe up your slit, soft brown eyes staring up as he does it again. “Ah!”

“Taste so sweet for me.” He whispers, breath tickling your clit that he exposes, pulling apart your lips, then he flicks his talented tongue right on it, circling it, fucking torturous little circles. You’re panting, as desire and pleasure rock every inch of your body, whines coming out from the back of your throat.

“S’good… Sugu! Unh…” He’s continuing those slow strokes, all while looking at you, and then he slides a finger back inside, and the combination of both gets you high so fast it’s ridiculous.

“Soak my face, Princess, please.” He whispers those words, and you fall apart, right on his gorgeous face as he buries it back against you, sucking your tiny clit into his mouth and flicking over and over.

“Cumming! Right there, right there!” Your thighs close slightly, from all the intense pleasure, but he’s relentless, humming on your clit now, until you’re gushing all over his mouth, orgasm bursting through you. He’s drinking you up, kissing your tummy again, sliding up, and you’re so weak from it, you struggle to pull his tie, smashing his lips down on yours.

Your lips devour each other, as you hastily reach down for his belt buckle, unsnapping it and freeing his huge, pretty cock, which bounces out, smacking him where his dress shirt is. You yank that up to, revealing at least a part of his tanned, toned stomach, running your fingers down until you get his length, hot and hard in your grip.

Your eyes lock, as you watch the desire mirror in those eyes, as his hands now grab your waist, gripping tight, then picking you up in his arms. You gasp, and then he’s carrying you to the bed, making you giggle, kissing down his neck, inhaling his scent and snuggling.

“That table would hurt your back.” He explains, and you just hum happily at how sweet he is, lips kissing his neck again, as your back now hit’s the soft bed, and he’s back on top of you, still in that damn suit. You eagerly slide off his jacket, making him smirk charmingly. “Need me naked so bad?”

“Mmm, yes, I do. But, the suit… It's hot too.” You say with blushing cheeks, he laughs a bit, helping you, as your shaky hands unbutton his dress shirt, eyes drinking in his chiseled body as it’s bared to you. “Your body… it’s so gorgeous.”

You kiss down his chest, little hot pecks of open lips, feeling him tense around you, his grip tightening, then he’s got your legs around him, at your entrance, groaning at the sensation. You arch your ass up, as he’s teasing it, stroking up and down, all while he’s kissing you again, drinking your cries, and your hands move from his chest down to his hips, urging him.

“Need you. Now.” He says gruffly, and you nod, eagerly, gasping when he swiftly thrusts his cock deep, so deep in you, at once.

You tense at it, at how full it makes you feel, at all the pressure, and he stays there a moment, allowing you to adjust, his brows drawn low, as he moans at the sensation.

“You feel so good, so tight, so hot…” He’s murmuring the words as he stays there, kissing your cheeks, your forehead, and your legs tremble around his hips, as it starts to feel so amazing, that pressure. “You okay love?”

“I’m good. So good, Sugu.” You lean up, arching your back, and he groans at what the angle does.

“Ready?” He asks, and you nod, eagerly, as he slides out, then fully back in, again and again, and you cling to his shoulders under his open dress shirt, feeling the muscles flex as he fucks into you.

“Ah, Sugu! Mnh!” You cry out, as he begins pounding his cock into you, sounds of skin slapping against skin, as his hips snap into you.

He moans, the sounds urging you on, leaning up to look at you, to brush back your hair, as your blown out eyes glazed with lust stare back at him. He studies you with parted lips and lidded eyes as he shoves in deep then, against your cervix, watching as the orgasm builds, and you cling to him, eyes fluttering shut.

“Look at me.” He orders, and you struggle, as the pace picks up, as he fucks you deeper, faster, and you just helplessly cling to him. “Now, Princess.”

You open your eyes, focusing on his pretty face over you, as he’s wrecking your insides so deliciously you can’t take it. “Sugu… cumming!”

“So soon?” He teases you, and you pout, nodding, making Sugu groan, sliding out then fully back in, the sound of your greedy cunt sucking him in mixing with your breathy cries.

“S’good is why, Sugu. Unh!” You scream out when he pushes up, and then your stomach sucks in and tenses as that orgasm smashes your body, and he groans as your pulse around him, gushing.

“Fuck Princess…” He grips you tightly, pausing and feeling your walls tighten around his thick length, his lips part and he’s exhaling. “You’re so tight after… fuck I can’t handle it.”

He’s struggling to move, tense over you, as his strokes get slower, hips rocking up, slowly fucking you through your orgasm and into another. You can hardly see, his face blurring with the tears of pleasure in your eyes. You blink them away, rolling your hips up to meet him, and his sounds just urge you on, until you feel him thickening deep inside your cunt.

“Suguru!” You cry out, clutching tight, and he’s got your mouth back in his possession, overtaking all of your senses, cock pounding your pussy harder now, so hard the bed creaks each time. “Sugu! Sugu!”

“Cum again for me, Princess- ah- please. For me.” He mumbles the words now, brow furrowing, one hand sliding up to your arms then, grabbing them by the wrists and pinning them above your head. “Be a good girl for me. Now.”

“Y-yes, Sugu. Yes…” You do exactly as he says, back arching up as you cum so hard you’re clamping down on his cock, and he’s hissing at it, strong hand squeezing both of your tiny wrists tightly.

“So beautiful, cumming all over my cock.” His husky voice makes it all too much, his jerky rhythm bruising your cervix.

“Cum in me, please please. Please cum in me.” You beg outright, in a little whine, looking up and watching his flushed cheeks, his eyes shutting for a moment, as he starts pulsing inside you.

“Want all this cum, do you?” He huffs the words out, and you nod, gripping his hips tight, urging him on.

“Fill me up, please.” He curses, pressing his weight on you, his free hand yanking your thigh up, pressing even deeper, so deep it hurts. Hurts so good.

“Fill you up, huh. Can you even take it all?” His lips are a breath away, noses touching, so close to cumming again your eyes cross, and you just nod, eager, and he starts pumping now, hot, white ropes of his cum inside you.

“Sugu!” You scream out, as his hot cum keeps pumping, so fucking much, that it pushes you over the brink, and you cum again, shoving his cum out around that thick length, as he pushes more of it back in with his thrusts. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck.”

“Fuck. Fuck.” He mutters at the same time, easing his grip on your wrists and slamming his lips back on yours, while you’re twitching with aftershocks. He eases back a bit, smiling down at you. “You missed me huh.”

“I missed you, alot. The whole hour I was up.” You giggle, and he grins down at you, easing out, and his cum and yours is just pouring out.

“Slept in so much, huh?” You nod, then push him on his back, your hair falling long like a curtain over your face, sliding against his chest. “Mmm, what are you up to, bratty girl?”

“Gonna clean up this mess.” He grips you tight, groaning.

“You’re so hot.” You giggle, kissing down his chest, down his perfectly flat toned stomach, until you get to the sticky mess you’d made his thick cock, still hard. You brace your arms on either side of him, and his hands go in your hair, gripping. “Will you do a good job, Princess?”

You lick the tip of him, swollen still, dripping out sticky white remnants of more cum, and you swipe your tongue up it slowly, feeling his thighs tense under you, and his lips part, desire in his gaze. “I’ll do a good job, Sir.”

“Fuck… still don’t know where you came from.” You giggle, sliding your mouth up and down him, tasting both of you, then you feel him hardening. You blink, and he just smirks.

“Again? So… soon?”

He grabs your hips, sliding you up him, until your slick cunt is on his length, and you flush a bit. “Wanna ride me, Princess?”

“I… what if I… suck? And disappoint you.” He shakes his head, grabbing your face gently, looking into your eyes and making your heart flutter.

“You could never disappoint me, love. Ever.” You exhale, feeling emotions hit, at how much you…

Love him.

How perfect he is.

How good you feel.

“I wanna make you feel as good as you make me.” You whisper, as he sits up, your legs on either side of him, arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“You do that just existing.”

“Suguru...” You’re crying. Again.

He kisses you, knowing you already, that this is how you are. You cry.

“Happy tears?” He asks, and you nod.

How does someone you just met get you better than anyone?

“So happy. I wanna do a good job, Sir. Teach me?” You bat your lashes with a pout, and he sighs, laughing softly.

“Those puppy dog eyes get me. Every time. Make me wanna spoil you.” He lifts your hips, and then he looks down, watching his cock dissapear inch by inch, as you sit down on it. “Look at that, you taking me so well.”

“Sugu!” You barely hold it together when you’ve sunk all the way down his cock now, feeling him in you, where you’re sore and aching, nearly burning your skin with the stretch. But its so delicious. “How - move- huh?”

He snorts in laughter. “You can’t talk love, huh?”

You glare a bit. “No. Can’t. Move. Talk.” He grins, but then hisses when you clamp down around his cock, moaning and gripping you tight around your little waist with his big hands.

“You little brat. Can’t talk so you torture me with this tight cunt.” You giggle, but then when he picks you up and slams you down, the giggle stops in your throat, replaced by a whine. “Had something to- ha- say?”

“F-fuckk! Sugu…” Is all you manage, as he slams you down again, and you’re soaking his cock, his thighs, everything, gushing around him.

“Can’t move, love, need me to use you?” You nod, eagerly, struggling to adjust to the deeper position, wiggling and making him hit that spot so deep in you.

“Can you use me, please? Please. Want you to.” You’re mumbling, then he’s leaned back some, lifting you up high and fucking into you from the bottom. Your tits are bouncing right in front of his face as the silent room fills with slaps of skin and your squelching wentess.

“Use you like my pretty toy?” You nod, his words, his cock, his grip, his eyes… it all was too much. The maddening, brutal pace of his cock as you hang on helplessly, while he just holds you like you’re nothing, it’s too much.

“C-cumming s’good, too good, Sugu- mmm!” Your head lolls to the side, as your mouth is just wide open in an O, eyes rolling back involuntarily while he fucks into you so hard it makes you cum then and there. You tremble as it rocks you, as you’re so weak you can’t hold yourself at all.

“Can’t even hold yourself up, Princess? Can’t use you like this then.” He eases you off him, and you whine, pathetic, until he’s got you on your back now, pressing your thighs all the way up.

“Use me till you cum, Sugu. Please.” You beg for it, for what you really don’t know yet, but you know you want it. He nearly growls, big hands shoving your thighs against your breasts.

“Use you just to cum in? That what you want, Princess?” You nod, and he shoves in, way too deep like that, your ass arches, wiggling, and he’s hissing as his leaking tip kisses your cervix. “You feel too fucking perfect.”

“Then cum in me. In my pussy, please. It’s yours.” He groans, gripping your thighs tight as he fucks into you, stretching your tightening alls out with each thrust.

“This perfect little cunt is all mine?” You nod, and he falls apart with you then, leaning forward, holding your face in his hands. “Then I’ll fill it up, so much, constantly full of me.”

His words are darker, desperate, and it urges you, as you nod, eagerly. “Then do it, Sugu, do it.”

He starts cumming then, shoving in deeper than last time at this position, and your breaths come out in pants as he pushes you over the edge, filling you with even more of his cum, pumping so much it’s so hot inside you. He’s kissing you, smashing your thighs against you, folding you up under him, and you’re already pushing his cum out from just your orgasm.

“Jesus christ. Why are you perfect?” He demands, through gritted teeth, you open your mouth and he stops you. “Don’t say you’re not. Gonna tie you up and teach you a lesson.”

“That sounds fun.” You say breathlessly, and he chuckles, easing out of you, and letting your thighs fall.

“You’re wasting all this cum now.” You tense, then cry out when he shoves it back inside you with two fingers.

“Sugu, fuck!”

“Need you to take it all.” You nod then, as he watches you, shoving those fingers back in your oversensitive cunt, making your wriggle at the sensation.

“Sensitive. Sensitive.”

“I like you that way, Princess.” He cooes, rubbing his free hand down your face gently, like the other wasn’t pushing cum back in you. “You’re so messy for me, aren’t you Princess?”

“Messy. Messy.” You’re about to scream then, and he eases back, shoving his two fingers in your mouth, you greedily suck them, swirling your tongue around the thick digits, pulling out with a pop. “Suguru…”

“Yes, Princess?” He’s pulling you onto your side, kissing you softly, like he hadn’t just wrecked you. The duality of him was intoxicating.

“I meant it. What I said to Maki.” He pauses, and you bite your lower lip, he frees it from the grip of your teeth. “I am falling for you.”

“Guess what, love?” He asks, helping you sit up, and you tense, looking into his eyes nervously.

“What, Sugu?”

“I’m falling too.”

You pause, your heart faltering, your mouth open. He is just sitting there, staring at you, and you wonder, could this be real? Could it…

“You are!?”

“You sound surprised. Of course I am.”

Your tears hit your eyes, and you tremble in his hold, clinging to his broad shoulders as tears fall. “Oh, Sugu, I’m so happy. So happy.”

You both kiss, and kiss, all over each other's lips, cheeks, necks, foreheads, just little pecks, then more intimate, deeper. Until you can feel his hardness on your thigh, and he laughs as you tense.

“It’s a reaction to you. I’m not going again, you gotta be sore.”

“She’ll be okay. She can do it.” He laughs again, and you look up into his eyes, yours watery, as every inch of your body feels so well loved, even your heart, your mind. “Feel like I'm dreaming.”

“I know the feeling.” He holds you to him, and you all stay there, in his arms, comfortable and at ease. “I wasn’t gonna say it yet.”

“Me either! It’s… crazy right? We’re crazy?”

“We’re crazy.”

“Oooh, Sugu, why don’t you come swim in the ocean with me today? You haven’t yet, you know.”

“You just want me to fuck you on the beach.”

“Hey!” But the thought?

“Knew it.”

You giggle, shaking your head as he helps you up on wobbly legs, stabilizing your body with his sure hands. When one comes to your tummy as you all stand together, you whimper. He sighs, turning you so that you can see yourself in the mirror on the wall, with him behind you, long fingers splaying your abdomen.

“Huh.” He says curiously, and you tilt your head.

“Huh what?”

“You’d be so hot pregnant.” You turn bright red then, thighs clutching together as the mere way he said that got you stupidly horny.

“I… what!?”

“Mmhmm. You would be.” He kisses down your head, leaning forward, whispering in your ear. “All round with me. Maybe twins.”

“Sugu you’re… more crazy than me.” You giggle breathlessly, moaning with the pressure on your tummy. “Is this kinky talk?”

He laughs, grinning that pretty white grin in the mirror. “It most certainly is, but the thought of you pregnant? With twins? Umph…”

He’s hard against your back.

“Oh… it is kinky.”

“You’re so cute.” You whine a bit, when his hand stays there, and crazy images hit your mind.

“You wanna put a baby in me, Sugu?” He groans, gripping you tight, so tight you thought you’d bruise, but fuck you want it.

"You're going to be the death of me.” His words are muffled.

You swallow, feeling a blush creep up your neck, arching your ass back so you could tease him more. "What do you mean?"

He leans closer, his breath hot against your ear. "Every little sound you make, every little movement, it all drives me wild."

You can't help but giggle, feeling a thrill at his words. "I know the feeling. You could fill me up more, you know.”

“Oh, I will, princess. Bet it’s sliding down these thighs hmm?” He reaches two fingers down, you’re dripping with his sticky white cum, and you’re soaked again, at the thought of him pumping more cum in you. He hisses. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

“When am I not with you?”

He tilts your head to the side, devouring your lips, and you fall into it, until he eases back, inhaling. “We’ll never leave this suite if we don’t stop. Oh… Princess, you got snorkel gear?”

“I did bring some. I haven’t done it before!”

“I’ll teach you. Come on, let’s cool down before you get pregnant.” You giggle at his bluntness, but his words thrill you.

***

“You look so adorable.” Suguru secures your glittery pink mask, and you flop around on the giant flippers, feeling stupid.

“They only had kid stuff when I shopped.”

He grins. “Lucky you’re small. Hey, nothing wrong with Barbie.”

“Hush!”

Suguru has red swim trunks and an open red kimono, his toned body and tanned skin making you drool damn near. He seems to be eating up the sight of you in kids snorkel gear in amusement, but when his hands come to hold your waist, the amusement fades, to lust.

Every time he touches you it’s like you light up.

Shaking yourselves off, you both head out to the crystal blue waters, as Suguru guides you how to properly use the gear. You both begin to swim, down the coast line, and fish of all sizes flit past you all, their scales glittering from the sun reflecting brightly in the water. Suguru swims slowly next to you, though he was clearly a talented swimmer, he took his time for you.

Suguru points out a giant crab, then a school of marlin, huge, which freak you out a bit at first as they whoosh past you all, then you’re giggling, and have to come up for air. You sputter a bit, slipping the mask off, and Suguru is there with you, taking his off and shaking his head, sprinkling water all over.

“How ya doing Princess?” He asks softly, and you sigh, snuggling into his embrace as he holds his arms out.

“So good. It’s so peaceful.” He holds you, as the water waves all around your bodies, gently rocking you both.

“It is, isn’t it. Peaceful. With you.” His voice gets low, and you look up at him, tummy doing flips, not just butterflies, they were like violent moths. Your hands slide up to his face, brushing against where the goggles had dug in.

“I kinda never wanna go back.” He smiles, a little sadly.

“Because the real world?”

“Yeah, what happens to us? With work and friends, life, family… shit, probably drama too, on my end. Is my pussy good enough to deal with my psycho ex?”

He rolls his eyes. “Your pussy is good enough for that, yes. But… What has you so worried? You think he’ll try something?”

“The way he talked… was like it wasn’t over yet. His torture.” You shiver a bit, sighing. “I don’t want him in my life. But… he knows everything about me. Who’s to say he won’t come and try to break me again.”

He cups your face now, his pretty brown eyes glittering with the sun, like molten pools of honey. You drown in them, nearly forgetting your worries. “You think I’d let him touch you?”

His words, so possessive, make you ache. “I wouldn’t put that on you.”

“Regardless of where this goes, I damn sure won’t let such filth around you, ever again. Understood?” You nod, and you feel them, your tears. “You know, you look beautiful crying, right?”

“Is that kinky, Sugu?”

He grins. “It could be kinky. You cry so much though. I wonder if…” He trails off a bit then.

“Wonder what Sugu?”

He sighs, backing away a bit. “I guess I wonder if in time, you’d cry less. With me by your side.”

“Oh, Sugu…” You wrap your arms around him, kissing him, awkwardly bumping your gear on your heads, and he chuckles, pulling you flush against him. “I cry with you because I’m so happy.”

“Are you just emotional altogether?”

“A crybaby, say it.”

“I wasn’t gonna!”

“Uh huh.” You both look around then, and you realize how far you all had swam out, people are just little dots now. “Oh wow.”

“Let’s swim back, Princess.” You nod, and you all are soon back down under the water, the sun shimmering on your backs, heating it, as the cool water brushed against your front, your chest, your legs. Suguru holds one hand as you all swim down, following the trail back.

Worries of your past fade more and more.

***

“You need a yukata.” Suguru says to you later on, as you all are walking down the boardwalk, side by side, hands brushing together. He was going to get a kimono, and you all were peering until you found a proper shop for one.

“Oh, I’ve never worn one!”

“What!? You need one. Come on.” He takes you further, and you follow, a little confused but curious, until you all come upon a little shop with plenty of yukatas and kimonos.

“These are so pretty…” You murmur, touching the thick, satin material with care, and Suguru comes over to you, eyeing the one you’re touching.

“That would look beautiful on you.” His voice is soft, his hard body coming against yours, you tense a bit, feeling flustered. “Try it on.”

You end up looking in the mirror, and the gorgeous Yukata, sitting over your body, which you were only wearing a lacy pair of red panties and a lacy red bra. The yukata sat untied. You honestly… didn’t know how to tie it? It’s the prettiest pink with red flowers all over, popping off your skin, and it was so pretty you couldn’t think you could even wear such a thing.

“Need help, love?” Suguru’s teasing voice came, and you giggle, opening the curtain and inclining your head.

“Please, I can’t figure it out.” He comes in behind you, then gulps, lips parting as he looks down your body. Your breasts heave under the attention.

“You’re so sexy. I can’t think.” You flush at the praise, taking his hands in your own.

“Thank you Sugu. But I really can’t figure this out.”

“Yeah, yeah… come here.” He comes and expertly ties the Yukata up, then places the wrap on your waist carefully, stepping back and whistling softly. “You look so beautiful.”

“Thank you… I…”

“No, look at you.” He turns you, to where your ass is against his hard body, enwrapped in silk, and you see yourself, glowing and sunkissed in his arms. You tremble as his hands run down your waist, pressing his fingers in. “Look how beautiful.”

You do look beautiful.

“Oh, thank you Suguru. I feel beautiful.” You blink back tears, and he leans close, holding you tightly.

“You always will around me.” He kisses up your face, then down, to your exposed neck, groaning softly. “Wanna fuck you right here.”

“Oh! I…” He laughs, as you’re blushing. “You’re teasing me.”

“Nope, totally would. Would you please let me buy this for you?”

You go to say you would buy it, but then you sigh. “Of course you can, I would love it so much. Can I buy you a Kimono though?”

“No, I’ll buy both.” You pout, making him laugh. “They’re expensive.”

“I don’t mind. I have a successful business and no one to spoil.”

“Oh so you’d spoil me?”

“Sure would.” He picks you up, twirling you around, then easing you back to the floor, smiling deviously at you.

“I think I’ll spoil you. And you’ll accept, like a good girl.” Those words shoot right between your thighs, and he notices, notices your flush, your tightening thighs.

“Unfair.” You bite out, he just grins, and then you all go search for Suguru’s Kimono. And no, you don’t get to pay.

***

Once it’s night, both of you decide to go to one of the beach restaurants, where there are dancers and even a fire show, all as the sweet breeze blows, and the sky turns pretty pinks and purples. Suguru was in the Kimono you had picked out for him, black with a green and gold belt, flowing around him, and fuck if he didn’t look gorgeous in it.

His hair falls soft, half clipped back, the bottom half flowing, silky and shimmering in the evening. He looks so gorgeous it’s hard to function, actually.

You can’t keep your eyes off him.

You in that pretty pink yukata, snug against the curves of your body, with those soft red flowers? Heavenly. And now, one of the ladies puts a matching little red flower over your ear in your soft, flowing hair that's blowing gently in the wind. When your eyes glitter, smiling that little smile of yours at him, it makes his stomach tighten, as he thinks of just how much he loves that.

How you look at him.

How’d he gone without that in his life?

You’re so gorgeous he can’t take his eyes off you.

“You look so handsome, Suguru.” You run your fingertips down the soft material, and he exhales, touching your face gently.

“And you look beautiful, Princess.”

You brighten up at that.

“Not denying it? Know how happy I am tonight?”

“I’m working on it. Because of you.” You lean against him, and one of the ladies comes to take you all to your table. A waitress comes, and smiles at the two of you, seated side by side.

“What a beautiful couple.” She says, and you nearly jump, giddy with excitement at the thought, and you tensely look at Geto. What would he say?

Was he ready for that?

“Thank you. We’re having a great time here.” He pulls you to his side, kissing your cheek, and you blush bright red.

“So cute together!” Comes another waitress, and you nervously cover your face, waiting for Suguru to say no, we’re not together.

Because how could he…

Wait.

Stop that.

He clearly wants you.

You shake off dead voices, echoes of your past, and smile now. “Thank you ladies, that’s so sweet.” You say, then look to Suguru, who’s brimming with pride as he gazes at you.

When they leave you to check the menu, he hums to himself, running fingers down your back over that satin, giving you goosebumps. “So, are we?”

“Are we… what?”

Suguru peeks up at you. “Together? Dating?”

“Are you asking me out, Sugu?” He smirks, looking up and down at you, his hand now firm on your hip.

“Maybe I am. What would the answer be, Princess?”

“The answer would be fuck yes.” He laughs a bit at you. You all order drinks, clinking them together. You notice he opted for a fruity rainbow drink like you.

“What? Yours was so good.”

“I love a man that’s not afraid to drink a rainbow drink.”

“So bratty!”

You all sip your drinks, sitting together, you lean on him, as he holds you so gently. “Sugu, are you my boyfriend then?”

He kisses your lips, and you taste that fruity drink, mixed with Suguru’s minty breath, god it was always so fresh, how? And he rests his forehead on yours. “Are you my girlfriend, Princess?”

“I sure wanna be.” He exhales, running his fingertips down the side of your face ever so softly.

“I haven’t dated in a long time.”

“I dated a sadistic asshole last, so.”

You both grin at that. “You gonna make me ask so officially?”

“Yes please.”

He rolls his eyes. “Will you be my girlfriend, Princess? On this island and back home?”

“I will, Sugu. Oh my… Of course.” You kiss him, eagerly, over and over, as if no one else was around, it was just you two.

“Hey, that means you gotta let me pay for everything.”

“What, no!”

“That’s my rules.”

“Oh… I’ll split things?”

“Nope. I pay.”

You roll your eyes now, and he’s just grinning. “If you don’t wanna be called daddy you can’t spoil me.”

“You’re so bratty right now.” You just stick your tongue out, making him chuckle, as you all begin to get your appetizers. “I’ll let you call me it in bed, only, if you let me buy you things.”

“Deal!”

***

“Daddy!” You’re screaming out an hour later, as he has you tied up to the bed posts with one of his silky black ties, as he's behind you, licking up your pussy, spread wide in front of his face.

“You taste so good for me, Princess.” His chin shoves against your cit, tickling it with his stubble, tongue sliding inside your little hole, slurping up the wetness loudly, making you start to throb again in need for him.

“Mmmnh!” You're reduced to sounds, as he’s leaning up, fingering you now, two fingers knuckles deep, shoving past your little gummy walls and hitting that spot, the one he always hits. It makes you fade out, cum pouring out of your slippery cunt, soaking his hand.

“Good girl, Princess, keep cumming for me.” You fall apart for that, crying out his name over and over, as he whispers yours, gushing ridiculous amounts of liquid as he gets you to cum again. “So wet, soaking the bed, love.”

“Mnh, Sugu, need your cock, please.” He groans at that, gripping your hips then, and your phone rings. You ignore it, as he slides that thick cock in, stretching you out for the third time today. Every stretch makes you ache more and more, you tighten around him as he slams into you balls deep, bottoming out in you. You scream out, and he pulls your hair.

“Feel so good-” your phone rings again, and Geto tenses behind you. “It's blocked number.”

“Don't care, just fuck me Sugu, fuck me please.” He moans, pulling at your hair again, making your ass arch, then it rings again. You curse. “Break the phone, need your dick.”

“Nah… Again?” He presses answer, and you gasp, as he leans forward and puts it on speaker. “Answer them love.”

“Umm… hello?” You manage to breathe out, as Suguru's thick cock slides out, shoving back in, you bite your lip not to moan out loud.

“Really, blocked my number sweetheart? Has your ‘amazing guy’ got sick of you yet? You know he will.” At that you falter, tensing, and you tremble on your knees. Suguru tenses behind you, gripping your hips so hard you thought they'd bruise.

“Sure not getting tired, her pussy is perfect you know.” Suguru starts to speak, and Mahito flips. “Fuck, and the view of this nice big ass? So good.”

You giggle then, and he shoves his cock so deep you cry out, leaving Mahito furious over the phone. “So you're getting fucked like a whore?”

“I'm getting fucked by a huge cock. Mmm! You just gonna listen Mahito?” Suguru laughs behind you, and you laugh too, but then cry out as he picks up the pace, fucking into you, and you knew Mahito could hear everything.

“When he throws you out, I'll be ready, and if you're lucky I'll fuck you.” Suguru leans over you, picking the phone up then, and you look back at his face furious.

“You'll never touch her. Pussy belongs to me now.” You pulse around him and he moans. “And fuck if it's not a perfect little pussy too.”

“You're the one making her so feisty, huh? Give it time. Sweetheart don't forget I've known you forever and I know how pathetic you are. Once he gets tired of that virgin pussy he'll see-”

“Fucked her -ha- five times already? Going for six after this. And she's not pathetic, you are. Can't wait to fucking meet you face to face.” His words are dark as he gives you insane backshots, bruising that cervix.

“I… you…” Suguru puts the phone up to your face and shoves his cock in deep.

“Cum loud so he can hear you, Princess.” You scream out then, shaking with your orgasm, and then the line goes dead, and you tremble, looking back at Suguru, who's grinning. “Bet he doesn't call back.”

“I love you, ugh.” You whisper as he fucks into you, again and again, so quiet you don't think he heard you, thankfully.

“What… a piece of trash… wanna beat his face in.” Suguru is grunting, and you're moaning, ass arching up for more of his thrusts. “How… dare he… you're so… perfect…”

“Sugu!” You're sobbing now, and he pauses.

“Did I hurt you Princess?”

“No I just… that was… so sweet of you.”

“Fucking you on the phone with you ex?” You giggle through tears, nodding, then he comes to untie your wrists, pressing you on your tummy, tilting your face as his weight presses on you. “I'll never let him touch you again.”

“Love you, Sugu. Love you.” He pauses at that, then moans, sliding his cock back in, kissing you passionately, tongues wild, teeth hitting, lips pressing.

“Princess…” You shush him, pressing your ass up for more, as his big arm wraps your waist.

“Don't have to answer yet, s'okay Sugu.” He kisses you again, fucking deeper, pressed so intimately over you. His hand reaches up and entwine's in yours, as he pulls back, breath right on your lips. “Thank you for it, thank you! Thank! Ah!”

“Anything… for you… Princess, Mmm!” You're throbbing around his cock, as he thickens inside you, deep inside, and then he's moaning, as you do. “You're mine, Princess. Mine.”

“Yours Sugu, belongs to you.” He falls apart above you, you hear his breathy moan, gripping you tight.

“Cum with me, love, wanna feel you. Please.” You do as he says, needing no urging, and then you're cumming together, him moaning his release in the crook of your neck, filling you with his hot cum, and you're gushing around him. “Perfect, perfect Princess.”

You struggle to both catch your breath, then Suguru eases out of you, lifting his body off and sighing, coming to lay next to you. His pupils are dilated, eyes blown out, like you, messy hair like you, reddened lips, like you. Both of you were dazed and confused messes.

“It just keeps getting better. I'm so addicted to you Sugu.” He shuts his eyes for a moment, kissing your forehead sweetly, sighing.

“I'm addicted to you, Princess. Everything about you. Um…” He brushes your hair back gently. “What you said…”

“Ignore it please. Shouldn't have so soon.” He frowns at that.

“Did you not mean it? Was it just… sex talk?”

“No. Meant it.” You bury your face against his chest. “But don't wanna ruin this.”

“Honey you won't ruin anything. Promise. I just…”

“It's okay Sugu really.”

Suguru is terrified. Because nothing has ever felt so good as you uttering those words from your pretty lips. Hearing that made his heart stop. He is overwhelmed, because he wants to say it back, but is it too soon? If things don't work out, would that hurt you more? He aches to let go but for now…

He needs some courage apparently. Imagine him, and the only person to ever scare him is a five foot nothing girl who cries all the time? You alone bring him to his knees and make him want to do anything, anything for you. Including deal with that trash that…

“Thank you again though, Sugu. I imagine that made him so fucking mad.” He blinks, shaking out of his reverie to look at you, with your puffy lips and tear streaked, pretty little face.

“I'll do anything for you, Princess.” You blink a fresh set of tears on those spiky lashes, God you're beautiful.

“It meant so much you standing up for me.” You snuggle against him, the ghost of your serious confession in the air. He doesn't push you, or bring it up thankfully, you had been so worried…

“I am falling for you, Princess. I've never felt like this.” Your heart melts at that, as he kisses you so gently, your lips meld into his. “Don't be embarrassed it just may take me… a little-”

“You're fine, Sugu, promise!” He trails little kisses down your cheeks, sticky with your dried tears.

“Let's go shower, pretty. Then get some rest. I think I have a plan for tomorrow.”

“Can't believe we'll leave soon!” He helps you up, bringing you to the bathroom then and starting the shower.

“I know. I've gotten used to waking up with you already.” You flush happily, and as he pulls you into the spray of the hot water, you feel so content, even if…

You'd just blurted the love bomb on him.

And came with your ex on the phone.

Tonight? Wild.

Best night ever.

Chapter 7

Ao3 chap

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56577688/chapters/146639161

[faghubby]

New Years Party

"I don't care, I am tired of everyone thinking I am a cheating bitch" Lynn told me. She had informed me she had invited Brent to our New Year Eve party. Brent was the guy she had been cuckolding me with for the past 15 months. It had started when I confessed that I wanted to see her get fucked by a well hung man for my birthday. After some discussion she made it happen. I watched as some guy she met online fucked her silly with a thick 8 inch cock. After that she was hooked. Although I didn't get to watch. Sometimes I got a video or Pic. But she was much more comfortable with me not there.

Then she met Brent. He was a nice guy. We had even taken him with us on our vacation to Mexico a few months ago. I got to watch Lynn take all 9 inches of his cock down her throat. They also let me watch as Brent fucked her up against a building as people walked by. It was all sex between them. After she would come to me to cuddle and be held. We had not had sex since the very first time she cucked me. Almost 2 years ago. I settled for a handjobs. On my birthday and anniversary. Occasionally another thrown in. Mostly she liked when I took care of it myself as she cuddled with me. Or jumped her leg as I licked her pussy. We had played with me eating my own cum. Lynn told me I could if I wanted to. But she didn't care either way. As for cream pies they always used a condom.

But even as discreet as we tried go be, people had seen Lynn out with Brent. My mother pulled me aside on Christmas to tell me Lynn was having an affair.

"Lynn please they won't understand" I pleaded.

"So I am the freak. You are the one who wanted me to find a lover" Lynn spat. I was rock hard at the thought of being exposed but at the same time terrified. Everyone we knew would be at the party. Maybe it would be okay, I could explain they where just good friends.

Lynn went to see Brent that very night. I masterbated to the thought of being exposed in front of everyone. Lynn came home with a wierd look on her face. I was already in bed reading.

"I did something" she smirked. She pulled up her skirt and her panties where soaked. "We didn't use a condom. She climbed on top of me she hovered herself right above my head.

"What do you think?" She asked I grabbed her and pulled her to me I sucked and licked her dirty panties. She lifted herself again and I tore her panties off. She dropped and let me clean Brent's from her. I was humping the air as I did. I couldn't get enough. Even after I had gotten all of Brent's spank out of her I didn't stop. Until she came three times.

"OH my god I am never using a condom again" she gasped catching her breath. "You didn't tell me you loved cum so much" she laughed as my dick bobbed in the air still. She grabbed my dick and stroked me. It only took a few strokes and I exploded. She caught some and had me lick her hand.

"It's all stuck in your hair. Maybe you should shave it so next time you can eat it all" Lynn told me. Getting up to get ready for bed. I was still up when she returned.

"Paul would you eat Brent's sperm out of my ass as well?" She asked.

I had not even know she had let Brent have her ass. She had never let me.

"I guess if you" I said meekly.

"Really, Brent loves taking me anally. Just thought you say no" she laughed. "Guess have to buy some edible lube then" then turned out the light.

In the shower the next morning I shaved my pubic hair off. When I came out Lynn noticed.

"Is there any other things you like to try, and are afraid to tell me?" Lynn asked. She was being very understanding she truly wanted to know. I just shook my head no.

"Are you sure, would you like me to play with your ass?" She smirked. I turned and looked at her. "Would you like to suck Brent's big cock?" She asked. "Maybe wear some of my things, panties prehaps?" I just shook my head. But made me think. Lynn didn't push it just kissed me good morning and went to make breakfast.

We had alot of work to do to get set up for the party tonight. Andy, Lynns sister and her husband Tom came over to help. I knew Lynn had told Andy everything. So I wasn't surprised when I walked in to them whispering about me eating Brent's cum.

"Welcome to the club" Andy smiled. "Should reconsider some nice soft panties" she laughed. I looked around panicked wondering where Tom was. Andy saw my nervousness "Don't worry I don't keep secrets from Tom" she smirked as I went pale. Who else knew?

I spent the rest of the day wondering what Tom thought about me. As usual my Mom arrived early. She gave Lynn the cold shoulder. I was busy playing host when Brent arrived it was about 11. Lynn ran over and gave him a big long kiss. Making several people stop and take notice. Lynn then lead him around the room introducing him to everyone as her lover. My mother rushed over to me.

"Stop her, the tramp is airing all your dirty laundry" my mother told me. Before I could respond Lynn walked up to us.

"Mary, I like you to meet the man your son begs me to sleep with" she leaned in and whispered something in my mother's ear. My mother excepted Brent's hand.

"Lynn I owe you an apology" my mother told her.

"Nonsense, anyone would of thought the same thing" Lynn told her. They all ignored me.

"I wonder if I should of had him talk to someone as a child when I caught him trying on my things" my mother whispered. I blushed as Lynn's eyes lit up.

"More secrets?" She smiled and shuffled off with Brent.

"Come with me" my mother ushered me upstairs. "You should of told me you couldn't satisfy Lynn. Did you think I wouldn't understand that" my mother told me. "Well now everyone knows so no more misunderstandings"

"I am sorry mom, I just" I almost started to cry.

"Brent seems like a very capable handsome man. So no worry about me getting any grandchildren" she told me. And went back downstairs. I was stunned my mother not only was okay with this she wanted grandkids from Brent? Before I could get myself together and head back downstairs. Andy barged in.

"Where is Lynn's panty drawer?" She asked me. Surprised I just pointed to the closet. She grabbed my hand.

"Pick one out?" She told me.

"For what?" I asked

"To wear, silly." She told me.

"Andy I am not wearing panties" I told her. She shoved her hand down my pants.

"When was the last time she touched you?" I was rock hard as my sister in law held my dick. "It's not very big. And feels like my finger is fatter then it. Lynn didn't tell me you shaved" she laughed.

"Pick out a pair" she smiled. I picked out a pair of black satin ones I loved when Lynn wore them. Andy pulled my pants and underwear down. She watched as I changed into Lynn's panties. She then lifted her skirt. And pushed my head to her crotch.

"Do you like my panties?" She asked. I licked her panties.

"Stop that, I am your sister in law. And I have a very satisfying husband" she told me.

"Should I make you go back downstairs or wait here till midnight. I think wait here for Lynn wearing just her panties. I locked the door after Andy left and sat there listening to the party. Hearing the countdown. Then a knock on the door.

"Paul, it's Lynn" I unlocked the door. Lynn quickly closed it behind her. She kissed me.

"I missed you for the kiss" she told me stepping back to admire me in her panties.

"Paul, you can wear my things any time you like. Or we could get you your own that fit better." She assured me. "Now Brent is spending the night. So you can sleep in the spare room." She told me. "I think Fran and Jack are staying over a bit to much to drink" she rubbed me thru the panties. "I want you to not play with this. Until you see me again in the morning. I will wake you up full of Brent's cum." She told me.

"Now I know you licked Andy, so as punishment I want you to kneel right here" I knelt down and Brent walked in.

"Lick his big cock" Lynn told me. I panicked as Brent pulled his cock out. "Shh you don't have to suck it just give it a kiss" she told me. I leaned in and gave it a peck. Lynn looked at me disappointed so I leaned in again and licked it from the base to the head and kissed the tip. I stood up.

"Thank you for all the pleasure you bring my wife" I said to Brent then rushed to the spare bedroom just wearing the satin panties. Between the drinking and stress I fell asleep immediately. I woke to the sun shinning in the room as Lynn climbed on the small twin bed. And lowered herself to my eagerly waiting tounge.

"Everyone knows now baby, so no need to hide anything anymore" Lynn told me as she spun around I continued to orally please her she teased me thru the satin panties.

"Maybe you like to clean Brent's big cock next time too" she told me as I made a mess in the black satin panties.

[lutewife]

luci with a short ma le reader the uses as an arm rest please?

Shorter!reader, male!reader, reader has anger issues, Lucifer is a smug mf, mutual pining

Warnings: Silliness all the way

Notes: I gotchu darlin'. My first ever male reader request, finally!! Sorry if it's too short (get it? short haha...), I have writer's block rn, so it's hard for me to even get to work 🥹🥹 But I cannot leave my requests hangin', so have it, nevertheless! Enjoy.

First of all, damn how come you're shorter than Lucifer?

Well, at least you're taller than Niffty, that's something. I'm sorry

The demon wonders that too when he first meets you. Considering that the first thing you do is...

Laugh at him.

"Damn, who would've thought that the king of hell would be this..." You gesticulate with your hand. "...Small."

You have the nerve to behave like that towards him, I'll give you that.

But the sight of Lucifer standing next to Alastor, who's a freaking giant compared to him is just too funny.

Until the irritated monarch comes up to you.

Everything would be fine, if it weren't for that you are MUCH shorter than him.

Damn it, genes!

The sight from above would be even funnier; an angry duckling, just looking up.

But he wasn't looking up, he was looking down. And he was fucking terrifying.

But hot.

You were just about to say "Sorry, daddy", but bit your tongue.

That would be kinda gay.

And a death wish to the boot.

But to your surprise, you weren't dead — yet. Instead, you felt something resting on your head.

Which was his arm.

How the tables have turned...

"Sooorry, couldn't hear you from down there, what were you saying?" He exaggerates smugly and leans into you even more, causing you to bend under the weight.

Oh, come on! You're not even that short! (You are.)

You try to free yourself from the fallen angel's strength, but fail miserably, as his smile widens even more.

So this is your life now...

From now on, whenever Lucifer visited the hotel, he bullied you, mercilessly.

Although the demon wouldn't admit it himself, it was only because he took a liking to you and your snarky behaviour.

That's why he loved turning it against you.

You were drinking with Husk? Lucifer sat next to you and used your head as an arm rest, causing you to slouch in your seat, comically.

You were trying to decorate the hotel with everyone and couldn't reach somewhere?

"Hey, dumbasses! I can't reach the place you made me 'decorate'!" You yelled with irritation. Why was the world always against you? After Angel told you to chill and Charlie apologized a little too much, Lucifer appeared. "Dad?! What're you..." "Don't worry sweetie, I got this." After saying this, he immediately scoops you up and using his wings, he flies up to the place (or rather much higher than it was needed). You blush furiously and swear him out in every language you know, just to hide the fact, that you like being bridal carried by him a little too much. Gay. "Y-You! You dumbass king! You, you, you...! You dumbo! Dumb bitch!" "Stop struggling! Is dumb the only word you know?!"

Anyway, you try to break free, and it ends with you falling on Lucifer and him falling face flat on the floor. Ouch.

Well, to put it mildly, your relationship was... Funny. One day, you were vibing in the library, as usual. But you couldn't reach the book on the last shelve, even after standing on a stool. Great. (Un)fortunely for you, Lucifer was just looking for you. Seeing you struggle as always put a smile on his face. "Need some help with getting that?" "Shut the fuck up. I can get this myself." You jumped up on the stool, but with no result. You tried to do it more times, but it was the same. "Sooooo?" God, you wanted to wipe his stupid, smug grin off his face. But you didn't have a choice. Bearing yourself, you groaned. "Get that for me." "Couldn't hear you from down there, what did you say?" "I'm... I'm literally higher than you, now." He ignored his obvious slip up and you sighed. "Can you..." You groaned again. "... Please, get that for me?" When you still didn't receive a reaction, you asked, as if on the verge of irritation. "...Seriously?" "Yes." He straightened out. You facepalmed, cringing, but said it either way, in monotone voice. "Oh, the all mighty and incredibly hot king of hell, please, for fuck's sake, GET ME THE BOOK!" Wow. You really had stroked his ego with that. Apart from the last part. "Gladly." In a blink of an eye, he flies up and, as if teasingly, leans on you to reach the shelf. Unfortunately, the stool you were standing on wasn't a very stable thing. So naturally, you fell down. And it looked painful. Lucifer hadn't expected that in the slightest, probably forgetting his strength. So when you let out a pained groan, he starts to panic. Blabbering incoherently, he fails to notice that you are okay and have literally stood up a while ago. Your irritation has now reached its peak. Who gave him the right to be this fucking cute while being so annoying at the same time?! You pull the literal king of hell by his bow tie to reach your level. Your noses were basically touching at this point. You definitely were intruding his personal space, but your anger was stronger than your common sense. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up." You whispered harshly. And as if subconsciously, without even feeling the movement of your body, you pulled him into a kiss, in which you expressed all of your pent-up frustration. Utterly flustered Lucifer didn't even know how to react, so he just gave into your heated frustration. After a while though, you move away and look into his confused eyes, slowly realising what you did. You turn around, not to show your undoubtedly too red face. "You are so fucking annoying, dumbass." You just say, trying not to voice break while doing so. You quickly run away from the situation, leaving the profusely blushing Lucifer completely flabbergasted. And then... "LET'S FUCKING GOOO!" You just cheered, being able to be finally honest.

End notes: Maybe it's not any good, but I tried to cook up something a little different! I hope you've enjoyed this lil' drabble and stay tuned for new posts!

[kissorkill16]

Who's The Traitor?: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: When you're so stressed from all of the shit you found out to try and save your friend, sometimes you just got to snap.

Trinity frustratedly pulled out black feathers from her hair.

"God, that was so intense!", said Enzo. "I ran so fast, I think I might be on a treadmill. I can still feel myself running!"

"Shut up, dork! I had to carry your sister on my damn back!", said Delroy.

Maritza rolled her eyes, "Oh please, it wasn't that bad! Just be glad I didn't keep hitting you on your ass like a damn horse."

As they fought, Finch and Nicky exchanged a look, then they shrugged. Meanwhile, Trinity was clutching at her window sill so hard, she could rip it off.

"How the hell did they know where we'd all be?"

Everyone turned to look at her.

"Trinity, what're you talking about?", asked Delroy. "Are you okay?"

Trinity turned to look at Delroy, her face blank now. "How did they know where we'd all be?", she repeated.

Delroy tapped his chin, "No idea.", he said. "Luck, I guess? Or maybe someone gave away our location."

"But how?", asked Finch. "No one else knows about this case except us."

As they thought, Trinity paced back and forth in her room. Then she came up with a disturbing realization...

One of them was a traitor.

"You're right, Finch.", she said, her voice terrifyingly high-pitched. "No one else knows about Crowface except us. That could only mean one thing. One of us is working for the Forest Protectors."

Everyone else was shocked.

Delroy stepped up, "Hold up. What makes you think we're working for him? How do we know you're not working for him?"

"Because I'm the one who started this whole damn investigation, Delroy! Why the hell would I, the leader, the one who suggested we investigate Crowface, betray my own damn team?! Huh?! Answer me that!"

As she ranted, she kept stepping towards Delroy, making the boy shrink back.

No one has ever seen Trinity this angry before. Everyone around the room looked pretty damn terrified, even Maritza.

"Trin, Delroy isn't the traitor.", Finch said, stepping in between her and Delroy. Trinity let out a dry laugh.

"You're right. He isn't.", she said. "But YOU are!"

She continued on with her ranting. "How could I forget about the person who's been a total bitch from the start?! Taking pictures and putting them all around the school to embarrass the victim? Yeah, you're not the traitor at all!"

"I'm not.", the girl scout begged Trinity, "I'm trying to be good. And let's not forget who broke my camera!"

Just then, Maritza stood up. "Trinity, calm the hell down! You need to freaking chillax before you have a fucking stroke!"

"SHUT UP, BITCH! GOD, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND OUT WHO'S UNDER THAT FUCKING MASK IF THERE'S A TRAITOR IN MY GROUP?!", Trinity yelled. "OUT! OUT! ALL OF YOU, GET OUT!!!"

Everyone quickly walked out of her room. All except Nicky.

Nicky stayed on her bed, then he reached into his backpack and pulled out a small container of white and gray pills.

"Trinity.", he said, putting one in his hand. "I want you to take this."

Trinity turned around and looked at the pill in her friend's hand. "What's that for?", she asked, sounding a little more calmer than before.

"My therapist prescribed them to me. Apparently, they make you fall asleep and turn all of your senses off completely. They've been working for me, so I thought maybe they'd work for you."

Trinity held her hand up. "I don't need those."

"Maybe not, but you do need to calm down.", said Nicky. "You've been pushing yourself too hard to unmask Crowface these past few weeks, you're yelling at your own friends and accusing them of being traitors. Please just take one Trinity. Just one, just to give you a well-deserved rest."

Trinity thought about it for a minute, then she took the pill in her hand.

"I'm going home. I'll see you tomorrow.", said Nicky before leaving the room.

Trinity stared at the pill in her hand, not really sure about it. But looking back at how she acted to her friends, maybe she had gone a tad overboard.

She sat down on her bed, put the pill in her mouth, and swallowed it. She felt all of her muscles relax, and she fell backwards onto her soft bed, falling asleep.

[mememanufactorum]

Super Shenanigoons 64 sentence starters

* FEEL FREE TO SHARE AS YOU PLEASE, NO CREDIT NEEDED. CHANGE PRONOUNS OR ANYTHING ELSE AS DESIRED.

All lines are from this video.

Just keep making eye contact with me and do not break eye contact with me.

Okay, yeah, no, I feel like you're doing a real good job, making me feel wanted!

How dare you hit them like that! Hit them a little harder next time.

My goodness. Clutching my pearls.

Lemme take a couple of shots and I'll let you know.

They left me here... I showed them what I can't obtain.

Welp, you killed them.

Bro, why are you dragging his cock on the ground, bro? Just throw him, Jesus Christ!

I run faster when there's women around me because I'm scared!

Babe, what's wrong? You don't like the joke?

They said I had to pay a million dollars!

Oh, this guy's gonna die!

You're a command.

My brain is so big, where are you?

Did I ever tell you I'm a professional at Wii Baseball?

She's abusive, she's beating me up! ...Why the fuck are you laughing?! Help me!

I suffered no survivor's guilt!

Who is hot dicking this piano, dog?!

No, don't you fucking kick me bitch!

I've been clawing! That shit hurts!

Awww. Maybe that's where you deserve to be?

You know what? Two can cheat at this.

You prefer it because you're winning.

You're just beating me up because your franchise is dead.

I'd like to leave my million dollars of debt to [name].

Today I learned how to teach [name] a long jump. Tomorrow, a Half-A press.

Objective: Kill that fucking bird!

Oh my God, I'm handsome.

I'm nothing without my drip...

Is that the "call me if you get lost" fit? Because you're definitely lost!

Have a nice fall, bitch!

Way to make it a competition, [name]! Here I g— I'm not competitive, shut up!

You were too vulnerable for me to not kill you!

I'm gonna get this fucking rat.

I need you to step aside. This motherfucker kicked me down a flight of stairs and now says "Why are you being mean?" Fuck you! I'll kill you!

The weight of her sins slows her down but we are free!

Please let me show you the strength of us humans!

The power of humans really is something, huh?

I should've learned how to swim! I was gonna buy swimming lessons with that money you owe me!

There is nothing more terrifying than the concept of Sonic being mad at you, like, you're so fucked! You're so fucked.

I'd sooner die than give you the satisfaction!

Your drowning will be satisfaction enough.

I think you just die.

I've never been so blindsided in my whole life!

Hi~ Welcome to Hell!

I'm no stranger to people trying to get my shoes off, man!

I'm your new dad now!

I'm like a Disney mom. I went straight to Hell.

Well, well, well, if it isn't the blowjob brothers!

That was my joke, you just said it louder...

I got bad news. I'm going to Super Hell!

Holy shit, what that ass do? Damn!

Oh, I "fucked up" fucked up! I'm in "danger" danger!

I cannot help you. This is a purgatory of your own making.

I just wanted a snack!

I wish I wasn't that cool honestly.

I'm in tree purgatory!

Bro is acting like a protag. We need to kill him, dog. He needs to get humbled.

God forbid women do a little violence as a treat!

You're bonking your head over nothing!

Are you saying I can get across the rainbow with a British passport?

I just need to jump and not fucking freak out.

You can't offer it and then change it to a price!

Name one time I deserved it.

I'm trusting you to fuck this up.

I'll talk to women, it's okay.

Why did you say "when I actually murder someone" like I haven't already?

Of course I was gonna steal that shit! Are you kidding me?

It's not always me, dickhead. Okay, it was THAT time, but it's not ALWAYS me.

[compassionatereminders]

Ok, so I go to the same school as my now ex friend. We met in elementary school and he was just really weird and controlling. Also crossed a few boundaries with me physically, it wasn’t sexual but I still consider it assault or at least somewhat adjacent to it. Also, frankly? I just don’t like the bitch. So after many years of this very toxic friendship and shortly after the incident, maybe three or so years ago, I cut him off completely. Just stopped talking to him. We live in the same neighborhood and his mom is a hairdresser so I do occasionally go over to their house when he’s not there to get haircuts. I don’t have any classes with him and I’m trying to take classes at a community college over the summer so I can graduate early and reduce my chances of having to take a class with him. We do see each other in the halls occasionally and I just ignore him.

HOWEVER.

All of the English teachers in my grade had their classes do slam poetry. We had to write a poem and…I guess perform it in front of the class. I wrote mine about my weird cat, nobody reacted at all when I recited it a couple weeks ago but I was just thankful my social anxiety and I didn’t fuck it up. Then, last week, my teacher told me that I was going to represent my entire English class in the poetry slam on the 5th. So that’s very terrifying but great. Yesterday he announced this to the class and talked about some of the guest judges, one of whom I dislike because she’s been lowkey ableist in the past but whatever. The teacher also talked about the various amount of time that the teachers focused on poetry, and he brought up my ex-friend’s teacher (the library has a window into that teacher’s classroom and during my free period I noticed that he went into the classroom. I’m not stalking him I just Noticed). This prompted me to think “what are the chances he’ll be in the poetry slam. oh god please let that not be true please please please I don’t want to have to talk about how many houseplants my cat has eaten in front of him fuck fuck fuck no.”

So of course he’s also in the poetry slam.

And like. Fine. Whatever. I can deal with it. I was kind of panicking afterwards, so I went into my ethnic studies class afterwards still lowkey freaking out about it and then I remembered. We had a lesson on disability—sorry, ability, that day. The teacher made some weird word choices when talking about disability but whatever. But, one of the slides was talking about ableism, and the teacher pronounced it “ab-LEE-ism” instead of “ay-bel-ism” or “able-ism”. I didn’t want to say anything but I didn’t have to because deadass half the class was like “isn’t it pronounced able-ism” which. Shocked me because I assumed they didn’t know what ableism was. Clearly I was wrong but that was definitely the funniest way to learn that most of my classmates at least know how most people pronounce ableism.

That is an uncomfortable and triggering situation to be in, but I'm sure you'll be able to deal with it and get through it! I'm definitely wishing you the best and sending my love! I hope soon this person will be gone from your life for good. And oh my god, ablEEism? What the hell? Clearly that teacher was not exactly equipped to give lessons on it. I'm glad it got corrected, at least. Also just say DISability oh my fucking god

[susie-dreemurr]

Dungeon Menshi (live-blogging from ep 2 to like 7 I think

Ep2

Marcille is such a mood I love her. I too am a picky whiny bitch

THE MY LITTLE PONY CHICKEN— BASILISK. Ah yes i remember its bam enow

Genshin rly said fuck that guy I wanna cook. He’s gonna have to wait for me to cook. Everyone but Marcille is insane <3

NOOOOO MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT THE DOGS— oh thank god she never tried it

If I was Falin I would kill these motherfuckers the instant I got out fr y’all wasting too much time man

Fofa conversa

Ok if I were this Chil kid I would fucking kill Senshi as soon as we could

“Your job is to cook, mine is to detect and ruin traps, Marcille’s is magic” …and the protag guy can get fucked I guess

Ep3

“I was killed by a moving armor once so I used to be terrified of them. Wonder what they taste like, none of the books ever described it. How would you cook them?”— Insane person speaking

Is there like a really tiny person controlling that one specific armor that moves wonky. Like two kids in a trench coat kinda deal

“These armors seem alive and are protecting something *skips the implications* which means they’re edible”

“If he dies let’s leave him here” “yeah” based

Laios (I know his name now) Laios please take out the fucking creature from the sword before taking it with you. Laios please

Laios NEEDS to get someone on the team killed one day. *remembers his sister* that one didn’t count

Ep 7 (I forgot to liveblog the others)

Damn Senshi got that nasty ass beard. Marcille teach him hygiene— FUCK SHE LOST HER SOAP IN THE DRAGON FIGHT NOOOO

MARCILLE JESUS???? WLAKING WATER

In a modern au Senshi is that guy from a countryside town who’s an urban legend because he lives in the woods and refuses to interact with any kind of technology. He doesn’t stop others from living their way but he decided to be a medieval citizen, good for him ig

Marcille finally is awestruck by Senshi and all it took was a fantasy horse… she’s a horse girl isn’t she

Senshi is a better person than me because if someone said it’d be more practical to use my pet’s organs as 🛟 I would kill them. I understand Laios but damn bro

“Why is everyone soft hearted for mamíferos and doesn’t let me plant carnivorous plants?” — Laios. Aiai eu esqueci que ele é assim. Freak /pos

NOOOOOO ANNE NOOOOO. It was inevitable I guess, it is a wild animal after all, but FUCK MAN.

Senshi :((( I feel so bad man but class will start shortly rn so I can’t even be sad :((( having a pet makes me sensitive to this stuff. :((( I’m so sad man

Naur he’s gonna eat Anne to make sure nobody else gets to do it. What if we all died

THESE MFS KEEP GETTING WIPED MAN NO MAMES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM STAY OUT OF THIS DUNGEON

Chilchuck??? Chilchuck thanks to hxh I have trauma over dull eyes I know you’re hypnotized probably but don’t do this to me

Thank you Laios for being weird as shit not even the mermaids want you

Lmao Chilchuck trying to talk his way out of not acting to eat a semi-human creature

I have a feeling that Laios will eventually make everyone in this group cannibalistd

MARCILLE FOFA DEMAIS

“Is that a squid? Or an octopus?” It’s an Ikalgo

Senshi is smarter than me I would of literally never thought of that. Marcille’s Jesus spell the true MVP, just like Jesus himself was god bless

Ok essas são as consequências das suas próprias ações Laios, pra que que tu foi comer VERME cru???

[josephsaturn]

Just finished Attack of the Clones!

can’t skip the text crawl!

Wow they really did upgrade the CGI

what’s with all the fog tho

WHOA SHIT

wait Padme’s still got her Girlies(TM)? And they’ve all got a name that ends with é?

Was that Jango w the eyepatch???

Padme once again being the baddest bitch in the room

God Palpatine really does act slimy

WOOO HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN AND EWAN MACGREGOR WOOO

I’m gonna kill whoever thought that anakin’s haircut was acceptable

UUUUUUHUHHHHGGGGHHHH cringe

Captain typho huh?

Man obi wan looks great honestly

Jar jar doesn’t make me want to destroy my eyes

Oh she DEFINITELY recognizes you anakin

Zam?? Whomst???

Ope there’s Jango

More under the cut:

Dreamin bout ya mom???

Oh god centipedes???

OBI WAN??????? HELLO????

I see now why greater fandom always portrays him as insane cuz THAT is insane

Terrifying!

Yea production value deffo went up

A N A K I N

OH SHIT

“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?” Huh.

Obi wan gonna get HAMMERED

DAMN. DAMN.

Honestly I wasn’t expecting the temple to look like that

Oh noooooo

Yoda my man my guy then why don’t you FCKUING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Why does Padme sound younger here than when she was literally like 14

Come to think of it how was she in GOVERNMENT OFFICE at 14

Ohh boyyy we gettin’ prideful Anakin now

Padme looks like a girl I knew in middle school

Jeez he’s down BAD bad

Dormé. Just..Dormé. Padmé. This MUST be an inside joke.

Kenobi: anakin’s crazy

Typho: yea nah padme’s crazier

Oooh dex?

Ok I’m starting to get it now

Damn mean old lady

A N A KIN

I’M dYINGGGGG

aw cute kids

Dang that’s one smart kid

Also, this is like a day after?? Bruv u better FIND that man

Yea girl u were like 14

Every fucking line of dialogue out of anakin’s mouth is either bad flirting or just bad in general like DUDE HOW

new Queen is slaying as well

MILADY

yea get his ass girl

Ok so how far is Kamino exactly??? Cuz 12 parsecs is a lot (at least I think it is, from how they explained it) yet the cut makes it look like obi wan only spent like an hour to get there

Kaminoans got nice voices

The Kaminoans: talking about the army n shit

Kenobi: ???!!!????!?!?!

S-eye-fo dee-as? I thought it’d be see-foe die-as

Kenobi’s like 3 seconds away from freaking out lmao

Man Naboo looks so aesthetically pleasing; I’d love to live there

Oh god. SAND.

Anakin pls mans just quit while you’re ahead

THAT WAS WHAT GOT HER???? A FUCKING LINE ABOUT S A N D ????

Yea that’s not fUCKING scary

Naughty children get put in the tube merry-go-round

Man.

man it’s so interesting how none of the clones are talking in these scenes

They’re just silently going along

“We keep him here.” Huh???

Obi wan: What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Man boba’s got that resting bitch face

Why does he look like he wants to kill Obi wan in every frame he’s visible

Oh shit Jango doesn’t know sifo dyas?

Hmmm

Damn that was charged

Ok Anakin is talking like a human being now. Great

Man they wanna fuck so bad

ABAKIN YOU WERE DOING SO WELL NOOOO

Agony?

Padme just fucking leave Like girl it isn’t worth it please just get out of there girl BLEASE

she’s like “damn he wants me that bad 👅👅💦💦”

I’m gonna kill Anakin

Yea girl woooo set those boundaries

God she really is always slaying

Ok back to Kamino cool

“Oh-bee wahn”

If Kamino is known as the cloner planet, who else did they clone??

Yeah y’all really are blind

Oh nooo shmiii

Stanced up

Wait did they sleep in the same room??

Were they fucking?

ANAKIN DONT FCKUING MAKE THIS WEIRD

Well at least padme’s supportive??

Damn Jango taught boba well

Ok I can’t take this seriously cuz of the lightsaber

Damn some Kaminoans are prob watching this fight from the windows like 👁️👄👁️

Tatooine!

[speaking huttese]?

So Shmi went to the Lars family huh. That’s one way to do it

Ok the time lag makes sense

Oh no not the bass boost grenades

Oh joy

Ok back to tatooine we go

Hey! An obviously cgi generated house in the desert!

Damn cliegg looks like shit

Oh god she was kidnapped?!

Oh so he lost his leg that’s why

A MONTH?!

Oh ok so it’s not generated

Hey playing with shadows!

And a callback to ep 4!

Duel of the fates again?

Oooh pretty place!

Wuh-oh

CHRISTOPHER LEE!!!

Why DID Jango go to geonosis?

Oh god I’m getting Spy Kids vibes again…

Obi wan looking back at the camera like “y’all seein this shit?”

OH GOD

I’m actually starting to cry rn

So terrible even the Jedi on coruscant can feel it?

But something HAS happened to him

I wonder what would’ve happened if Anakin went back to save Shmi at the beginning?

Uh oh.

“tHe ChOsEn oNe.”

Ok props to Christensen for this scene. Genuinely.

Damn Padme THIS is when you start to think about it?

But I get it, he’s obviously in distress so she’s comforting him like a normal person

Ok THIS is the start to his fall. He’s so attatched that he doesn’t know when to let go

AW SHIT ANAKIN’S WEARING BLACK NOW SHIT SHIT SHIT

but he won’t

Padme girl you are NOT helping

Girl Mace LITERALLY said to stay there what are you on

Wait it’s JARJAR that gets the army???

Captured in stasis

Is dooku just humoring kenobi?

Ok but would Qui gon have become a sepratist?

I mean it’s kinda obvious who sidious is

Dooku’s in cahoots with sidious right

Oh shit Jarjar IS the guy

IT WORKED??????HUH????????????????????????????????????

Grand army of the republic? More like (G)ekid(A)n inu cu(R)ry

(I’ve been rewatching Madoka again too)

How come no one’s made a fic of Yoda going to Kamino?

Damn r2’s got no chill

He’s destroyed his lightsaber before?

Girl.

She’s been enduring his horrible lines and pushiness for the entire movie

GIRL HE’S NOT IN THE RIGHT MENTAL STATE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

WOOO PUBLIC EXECUTIONS WOOO

and here’s approximately 70% of the budget!!

Oh shit it’s mace!

Damn Jango had no reason for that twirl tho

WHOA SHIT

That shadow of the heaaad

And boba NOOO

that stare between dooku & windu…is that like a “aw fuck” stare or a “watch ur back” stare

Ok I gotta ask: what’s the point of killing Jango? I get that it gets him outta the picture and gives boba a reason to be the hardass he is in OT, but like putting all that aside, what’s the point IN PREQUELS? Mace coulda just captured him

Are the guild guys gonna die

HEYO!

Ultimate weapon?

Oh shit

Hey an episode 1 callback!

THE ARM

shit is that dathomir?

M’wow

Pffft not Vader’s theme

marriage huh

And that’s it for now! I’ll be back after I’m done with clone wars season 1!

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗨𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 || dark!jan (the edukators/die fetten Jahre sind vorbei) x reader

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 | in scoping out his next target, jan hadn't realised that you wouldn't be joining your family on their next vacation; in choosing to stay home, you hadn't realised what you were in for.

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 | 4.3k

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 | smut (noncon, with fingering and penetrative sex), innocence kink, virginity loss/first time, brief exhibitionism, degradation, daddy kink, spitting (in mouth and on pussy), breaking and entering/home invasion, touch of misogyny kink, slight objectification kink (petnames like babydoll/dolly being 99% of this), slight bleeding (from sex specifically), death mention (no threats, just the fear of threats if that makes sense?)

𝗔/𝗡 | you don't need to have seen the movie to understand this fic, as long as you know that jan and his friends break into rich people's houses as part of their anti-capitalist rebellion. note that the vast majority of dialogue is written in english for simplicity, but that these conversations would actually take place fully in german.

this is a DARK fic, if you hit 'keep reading' I don't wanna hear you upset about content listed clearly in the warnings section

It’s probably normal to hear a bump in the night, to wake up and be a little freaked out, but to ultimately just stay in bed and not do anything about it. At first you were sure you were sure it was nothing, though your gut told you otherwise; then, as you heard more and more you spent quite some time convincing yourself that it was just pipes creaking or the foundation settling. But the thing about pipes and foundations is they don’t speak German.

“Hier entlang, hier entlang,” someone whispered, and footsteps shifted all along the lower floor.

Maybe you were still asleep, and this was just a strange dream, a terrifying dream. You pulled the blanket up over your head and prayed to wake up, but the denial turned to terror when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

You jumped out of bed, but it was too late to go out your bedroom door— you could hear them walking and whispering outside. Your bathroom had a small window, but even if you managed to fit through it you’d be on the second story with no way to ropel down. Maybe in your mind you could be some daring adventurer with the perfect plan to escape, or with the skills to defend yourself with something random you could grab, but you knew better than to really think you could do anything but hide.

As the footsteps and voices got louder, your eyes frantically searched the room and finally landed on the large upright dresser— maybe it was a little obvious, but it had a handy little feature that made it lock from the inside. It had come in handy for a decade of hide-and-seek, and now it would hopefully serve you one last time.

With not a second to spare, you ran over and grabbed the golden handles, swinging the doors open but being careful to shut them quietly after you’d stepped inside and made room for yourself among the coats and dresses. You searched for the lock in the pitch darkness, only able to find it because it was right above the keyhole that glowed from the dim light outside. Just as you turned the knob and heard the metal lock slide inside the wooden door, you heard your bedroom door open.

Someone walked around your room briefly, you even heard them pick something up and set it down— probably your bedside lamp, based on where it was coming from, but you obviously couldn’t be sure and frankly didn’t care that much. Footsteps approached the dresser and you saw the keyhole light up as a flashlight passed over it.

“Let’s take all the clothes and put them in the fireplace,” a voice in the room announced. “We won’t actually light the fireplace, but it sends a message.”

You covered your mouth with your hand to try to keep quiet when the doors shook briefly from an attempt to open them.

“Fuck, it’s locked.”

“Here, you go on to the next room, I’ll pick it,” a second voice decided, and you heard more footsteps as someone else approached the armoire. “Look how fancy the dresser is, they’ve probably got furs in here too— god knows people living in a house like this can’t miss an opportunity to destroy the environment.”

You heard something jiggle inside the keyhole, a clicking noise that went on for just a few moments before you heard the metal slide inside the wood again and the doors slowly opened.

A man, dressed in black and holding a flashlight in his gloved hands, stared at you from behind a mask that left only his brown eyes visible. You both stood still, staring at each other, until he did exactly the last thing you expected: he lifted the mask up to his forehead and showed you his face.

He was a lot younger than you would’ve expected, though he had the scruffy beard of a guy trying to look older; his teeth were slightly crooked when he smiled at you, and when he raised a brow while he gave you a quick look-over, you noticed the way they almost connected in the middle.

Under his gaze, you suddenly felt very aware of how little your lacy, baby pink nightgown protected you from the chilling night air.

"Well, what's this?" he asked coyly as he watched you shiver. "Guess these capitalist pigs left one of their little piglets behind." He put on a cooing sort of voice as he addressed you directly: "Did mummy and daddy leave you all alone while they went on holiday?"

He stepped closer even as you tried to shrink away, examining you carefully.

“Get out of there, silly, what are you hiding for? I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured, not that you found it especially comforting. When you didn’t step out of your own accord, he grabbed your arm and roughly yanked you forward; he slammed the dresser doors behind you, and you whimpered in fear as he pinned you down against them by each arm. "Shh, hey, don't worry— I'm here to take care of you, you can call me daddy instead until your heartless banker father gets back. Go ahead, tell me what's wrong."

"I—"

"Ah ah," he tutted with a mix of bemusement and disappointment, "I already told you how to address me."

You shuddered but finally responded, "Daddy, I'm scared."

He gave you a demeaning little pout, but you continued.

"Some men broke in and I'm alone and… and I don't know if they want to hurt me."

"No, baby, they don't want to hurt you," he promised with a gentle smile, but it turned horrifically sinister as he leaned in to add with a whisper: "but we will if we have to."

You swallowed thickly, your gut twisting when you felt him breathe out against your neck.

"So you're gonna be a good girl, right?"

You nodded quickly, turning away when he leaned in closer, looking down at you with darkened eyes and running the fingers of his black gloves over the neckline of your pyjamas.

“You were just waiting for me, huh? All tucked in in your cute little nightgown, dressed up like a doll,” he grinned. “I bet you want daddy to play with you, hm?”

He laughed cruelly when you shook your head, fighting harder to get away again as he squeezed your arms tight enough to leave marks where his fingers had been.

“Wanna play, little dolly?” he continued, pressing his body into yours and roughly shoving his leg between your thighs. “I know you do… c'mon and give me a kiss," he requested.

“N-no,” you stammered, but he grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand and forced you to look ahead, slamming his lips onto yours and ignoring your muffled protests. When he pinched your side you gasped instinctively, and he shoved his tongue inside your mouth roughly— but that only lasted for a moment, before you found renewed strength and managed to shove him back. It wasn’t far enough to free yourself, but enough to get a break from the oppressive kiss.

“Aw, don’t be mean,” he pouted, wiping his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. “You said you’d be good for me, remember?”

“Just stop, please,” you whined, gasping before you could stop yourself when he rubbed his thigh up against you— hitting right on your clit which throbbed in spite of everything. Somehow the fear made you more sensitive, or at least something had because you’d never felt quite like this before.

“See? You’re all worked up,” he explained, “I’m gonna help you.”

This time when he leaned in he started to kiss and suck at your neck instead, starting right beneath your ear and moving down slowly until his tongue laved over the crook where your shoulder began. As much as you hated it, it made arousal pulse between your legs where his thigh continued to push hard on you.

When he moved even closer, you could feel his erection against your hip; you didn’t even realise that you’d let out a gasp until you felt him smile against your neck. “Oh, babydoll… you want daddy’s cock inside you, I can tell.”

“N-no, I don’t— just stop,” you begged.

“If only it were so easy, to just ask someone to stop,” he mused. “You know how many times we asked people like your father to stop before they fucked us? You know how far that gets us? You don’t just get to ask nicely, you have to fight for it…”

He chuckled as you writhed in his embrace.

“But you’re too weak to fight, poor thing.”

"Please, I'm not a part of whatever you’re talking about,” you tried to explain, “I don't know much about what Papa does at work—"

"That's your problem, baby, you're blissfully ignorant! Not all of us have that luxury. But the good news is, I'm here to educate you." He pushed up even closer to you, speaking lowly right into your ear with rage starting to bubble up in his voice. "Your father is a piece of scum who feeds on the working class and then robs them blind. You live like this, unquestioningly, and the rest of Germany suffers. Stuck-up bitch like you wouldn't even notice me if you saw me on the street, would you? Wouldn't even give me the time of day, but now you're at my mercy. That’s what you people need to learn: that you’re not gonna be on top forever.”

Suddenly you felt his hand cup your sex through your nightgown, and you choked on your gasp. “No—!” you started to shout, but his right hand covered your mouth as the left hastily pulled your pyjamas up and reached under them.

“Stop fucking squirming,” he grunted as he reached between your kicking legs and slid quickly up your thigh. “Mm, bet you’re hiding a pretty little cunt under this nightgown— hold still, baby, you’re gonna like this.”

Finally maneuvring his way into your panties, he abruptly shoved two gloved fingers inside of you, watching closely as you scrunched your face up tight in discomfort. He thrusted and twisted them around for a bit, carelessly stretching you open as you tried desperately to squirm away; it stung a bit, and the leather of the gloves was cool and awkwardly firm against your walls. For some reason, when he dropped his free hand from your face, you didn’t try to scream again— maybe because you knew no one who cared could hear you— and you just panted heavily instead.

As quickly as he’d pushed them in he pulled them out, bringing the glove up to his mouth to take it off with his teeth with a little growl before rubbing his bare hand over your pussy again. You whimpered when he slid his fingers inside you again, this time feeling the texture of his skin as he curled the pads of his fingers right against your spot. “Yeah?” he mumbled his taunt around the leather between his teeth before spitting the glove out onto the floor. “Fuck, so warm… you’re so wet already, dolly, has nobody been giving this pussy any attention?”

He stopped moving his fingers inside you to pull out and give your clit a few slaps, licking his lips when you cried out from the sharp sensation.

“Huh?” he reminded you to answer when you never gave a response.

“N-no,” you shook your head, finally, and he smiled like he was proud of himself.

“Yeah? You’re not a virgin, are you?”

You only looked down at the floor, blinking a few times as you focused on the teal carpet, and heard him laugh darkly.

“Oh, dolly, I might break you,” he warned roughly as he pushed your gown up to your waist, ignoring your sobbed pleas for him to stop. “We don’t usually take anything from the people we visit, but if I take your virginity maybe your people will finally get the message.”

“Please— you don’t have to do that,” you stammered, rushing through whatever you could think of to make him change his mind, “I won’t tell anyone you were here. You can have whatever you want, if I call them they can send you money—”

“You aren’t even fucking listening to me, we don’t want your expensive bullshit and we don’t want your dirty fucking money!” he corrected sternly, clutching your sleeves tighter and shaking you slightly with the intensity of his movements. “We just want you to be afraid, because the revolution is coming.”

But you were afraid of something much more imminent than a revolution.

“Get on the fucking bed,” he demanded, though you couldn’t do much else considering he was already roughly tossing you onto it, climbing on top of you and pinning you down when you started to crawl back instinctively. With his legs resting on yours and keeping you (somewhat) still, he only needed one hand to grab your shoulders while the other rushed to open his jeans.

Your eyes got a little wide when you saw his cock— before that, it was almost like some part of you didn’t really think he’d go through with his, but now you could see clearly that he was hard and ready… and big enough to make you question how that thing was even supposed to fit inside you.

He tore through your panties like they were paper; he lifted and spread your legs as he sat between them and, much to your humiliation, just stared down at your pussy for a moment. You’d never felt so exposed and it made you feel worse than ever. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt,” he announced smugly, “can’t wait to see it all stretched out and covered in my come— I’m gonna ruin you, babydoll.”

You weakly struggled as he held your hips down with one hand and haphazardly stroked his cock a few times with the other, rubbing himself over your opening before pulling his hips back to spit right onto your clit. After spreading the improvised lubrication around with his head for a moment, he pushed down on it with his thumb to line up with your hole and, without any further warning, slid inside in one motion.

You bit down on your lip hard, and even that wasn’t enough to distract you from the sting; it felt like he was ripping you open, not to mention going so deep that you could feel him in your stomach.

He groaned loudly, head falling back for a moment as he started to thrust into you. “Fuck, I can tell you’re a virgin— it must be hurting you, huh?”

But the question was a bit redundant, since tears had already begun to stream down your temples and your fingers were clutching tightly onto the sheets beneath you; if they were any less expensive, they probably would’ve ripped.

“Maybe a little pain will be good for you,” he decided with a smirk, “I think a spoiled brat like you has been spared the rod a few too many times.”

It was definitely more than a ‘little’ pain, and it only seemed to sting more each time he pulled back and pushed in again— he wasn’t going very fast, yet, so that was one thing you could almost be thankful for. That said, he wasn’t very gentle either.

He hastily reached up under your nightgown to grope your breasts, quickly moving from one to the other as he squeezed them just a bit too hard. “You like how daddy plays with your tits, don’t you?” he grunted. “Say, ‘yes daddy.’”

“Y-yes, daddy,” you mumbled awkwardly; maybe being embarrassed to say that was superfluous considering everything else happening right now, but your face got warmer regardless.

A whimper almost caught in your throat when he pinched your hardened nipples, but it broke through when he seemingly-randomly gave a spank to your inner thigh.

He looked down at where your bodies were joined, where he was stretching you out with steady pumps of his cock that filled you to the brim, before reaching up to quickly pull his black sweater off over his head— a t-shirt underneath came off with it as his chest was exposed. He wasn’t unreasonably pale but he clearly wasn’t the type to get a ton of sun, and he had a thin scattering of dirty-blonde hair over some of it. It was sort of embarrassing, now, seeing how thin he was and yet he was still so much stronger than you.

"You're getting so wet, babydoll, look— you're making a mess on these expensive sheets," he grinned. And he wasn't lying; the sting of the stretch had slowly faded, replaced with a friction you actually couldn't help but enjoy. Each time he moved, he seemed to slide right over a spot that made you tighten up your legs so they wouldn't shake.

But, apparently, there was still plenty left that he could do to hurt you.

You cried out, so louder it echoed across the room, when he suddenly thrust into you hard and deep, hitting the very end of you as your body involuntarily jolted— he clapped his hand down over your mouth instantly, muffling your cries to near-silence as he set a punishingly fast pace out of nowhere. You couldn’t turn your head when you heard your bedroom door open, but you could glance to the side and see another burglar appear in the doorway, staring forward at the scene in front of him.

A new sense of shame burned inside you for being seen in such a way; oddly, it came with guilt, too, as if you were doing something wrong yourself, when really it was just something wrong being done to you. The man on top of you didn’t seem to feel much of either, though: he didn’t even slow down.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" the other man asked his partner, face still hidden but his voice a mixture of bewildered and disgusted. "This isn't how we roll."

"Fuck off, I'm almost done," your attacker scoffed. You tried to use the distraction to fight him again— you swung your arms to try to scratch his face or push him away, but without even hesitating he simply stopped covering your mouth to pin your wrists at either side of your head.

"Is this really what you think the revolution is about?" the man in the door sneered. "Or does that even matter to you when you think you might get some ass? Jesus, I always knew you were a creep but this is…" he trailed off.

"Maybe you should take a turn with her, might fix your attitude," the man on top of you suggested. "She's real tight— trust me, you'll feel better."

"I promise that raping that girl isn't gonna make me feel better, Jan," he frowned.

"Fine, then just go so I can finish and I'll meet you guys in the yard," Jan— apparently that was his name— instructed.

"Don't go," you begged the man in the door, seeing the concern on his face— you could tell he wanted to stop Jan, maybe if you asked him to, he would.

"Shut up, bitch," Jan growled, correcting you with a slap to the face.

The man in the doorway just shook his head and sighed, stepping back into the hall and shutting the door behind him. You cried harder, more sure than ever that Jan was right when he said you were at his mercy; and he didn’t seem to have much.

He fucked you rough and fast, recklessly chasing his own pleasure with no regard for yours. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel any pleasure, though… it was building, in fact, sort of like when you touched yourself but so much stronger, and deeper, and threatening to overflow at any moment. “Oh fuck, you’re close,” he noticed with a tilted grin, “you love it so fucking much, huh? Wanna cream on daddy’s cock?”

You shook your head but he slapped you again, spinning your face to the side as he held both your wrists above your head in one hand and gripped your jaw with the other.

“Stop lying,” he growled, “I can feel it, I can feel your cunt getting tighter… you’re gonna come so fucking hard for me, aren’t you, babydoll? God, what a nasty fucking whore you are…”

He held your face to look straight ahead, up at where he hovered above you and bared his teeth in a snarl, before forcing your mouth open and spitting into it. You grimaced and tried even harder to squirm away but he quickly clamped his hand down over your nose and mouth so you couldn’t try to spit it back out again.

“C’mon, swallow it,” he instructed roughly, voice a bit strained from the force it took to hold you down. You could hardly breathe with his hand this way, and when you tilted your head back to try to get away from it, you accidentally swallowed his spit with a disgusted, muffled grunt. “There you go, good girl,” he purred as he watched your throat bob a bit involuntarily, “that’s it, I know you wanna come— say it! Say ‘daddy I wanna come.’”

He let go of your mouth and slapped you again before you even had a chance to hesitate. “D-daddy,” you whined, “I… I—”

“It’s not that fucking hard,” he hissed, “just say it, you dumb fucking slut!”

One more slap was apparently all you needed to just choke it out: “I wanna come, daddy!” you cried, back starting to arch as the pressure of holding back your release became too much to bear.

“Then fucking come,” he demanded, “come for me, baby, right fucking now.”

You tried to hold out just a moment longer, just to spite him, just so you wouldn’t obey him so easily… but it only took one rough thrust right into the end of you to make it all spill over. You came with a sob, shaking and jerking beneath him for a moment before a warmth spread through you; it started right where he filled you and spread everywhere until your mind was all foggy and your fingers started to go numb— or maybe that was just because of him pinning you down at the wrists.

Much to your disgust, you could hear how wet you had become with every stroke inside you, a sickening squelching noise that made him laugh as your face tingled with numbness and burned with shame all at once. “Oh fuck, that’s it,” he praised, “naughty little dolly, making a mess on daddy’s cock with that dirty fucking cunt of yours… I’m gonna cover it in my come, are you ready, baby? Ask daddy to come on your pussy, don’t make me hit you again.”

“Daddy, please,” you mumbled quietly, “come on my pussy…”

“I can’t hear you, babydoll, you need to speak up,” he mocked.

And you were just so exhausted and overwhelmed and his thrusts inside your sensitive walls were starting to get painful again— that was why you really meant it when you sobbed through your begging: “Please, daddy, come on my pussy!”

With one more panted moan he pulled out and only had to give his cock one blur of a stroke before white, warm come began to paint over your sore opening, your swollen clit, your bruised inner thighs. “Fuuucckkk…” he groaned under his breath as he watched himself coat you, and you caught a tinge of pink from your blood on his cock and hand as he slowed down to a stop. "Sheiße," he sighed, letting go of your wrists to sit up and close his eyes for a moment before looking down again at where you were limp and splayed out on your bed beneath him. “See? I’m getting reckless, I really shouldn’t be leaving evidence…”

Even without that, you knew his name and face, but apparently he was focusing on the copious amounts of DNA he’d just left on you.

“I suppose it won’t be a problem, because you’re not going to tell anyone,” he posited, leaning down slightly to hover over you as you swallowed around the rock that had suddenly formed in your throat. “You know how I know you won’t?”

You weakly shook your head, already terrified to imagine what the answer to that question was going to be. Of course, your first assumption was that he was going to kill you, or threaten to do so if you involved the police. He knew where you lived, he could threaten your family, too: the thought made your skin crawl as he leaned down further to whisper right against your ear as you instinctively turned your face away from him.

“Because if you tell someone that I raped you,” he finally continued, “then you’ll also have to tell them that you liked it.”

Speaking right against your ear, it took him no effort at all to stick his tongue out and lick you right on it, making you squeal with fear and disgust.

He quickly hopped off the bed and recollected himself, stuffing his softening and blood-stained cock back into his pants before gathering his discarded clothes from the floor. "Your folks won't be home for two more nights, right? I should come visit you again," he winked when he spared a glance at you. “Now get some rest, baby, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll lock the front door behind me when we leave… wouldn’t want anybody unsavory getting in, now would we?”

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Fantasy Merchant Punz 'correct' quotes

I like this au a definitely normal amount. I have the normal amount of brainrot for this au. Please believe me.

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Tommy: Hello! I’m the chosen one! I would like to have all your potions in stock!

Punz: ...You’re 17

Tommy: Yeah so?

Punz: ...Right so that’ll be approximately 500000 gold. Pay up

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Punz, talking to a customer: And this is a potion of invisibility. Great for you to hide from others or get out of situations in a pinch.

Dream, as he is attacked by Tommy’s Team: Punz! Punz let me in! I know you can hear me!

Punz, closing the blinds: Of course you can take a speed potion. It’ll be good when getting away fast and you can take your enemies off guard.

Dream: FUCK YOU PUNZ!

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Bad: Hello! Would you like to go and join the Eggpire? We have cookies and you’ll definitely not go and get mind controlled!

Punz: Please go away, you’re scaring the customers

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Techno: Punz where do you even get these things? This is from the Antarctic Empire and that went and fell thousands of years ago. All items of it were destroyed from what I know

Punz, who is pretty sure his ancestor lived there at some point: ...Time travel

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Punz, nervously looking at the box: Hey buddy. So today I went and scammed a few people and met this guy who is apparently the chosen one. He’s 17 though so I kind of doubt it. Though that is something the church would do...What do you think?

The Box: *ominous humming sounds

Punz, lighting as many candles as possible and getting the Prime symbol: You know what? Yeah that sounds about right

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Cornelius, still in the box and listening to Punz: I haven’t met Punz in person and I’m pretty sure he’s terrified of us but if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in the world and then myself

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*5 months before Dream’s uprising

Punz: You know, actually fuck the church. It’s shit in my opinion. I know that it’s supposed to be there and that it’s supposed to be a major part of this country but not everyone follows Church Prime! I mean I don’t! The Church shouldn’t be in such a high state of power when not everyone follows it! They’re soon going to use that power and just force everyone into their religion!

Eret, in a bad disguise and already been considering taking away the church’s power: True true. Now then, can you please tell me more about your views on the Church?

Punz: Oh you’re going to be in here for a while because I have so many opinions on this.

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*4 months and two weeks before Dream’s uprising

Ant: Hey Punz, congrats on talking to the King last week! Heard you talked about how the Church shouldn’t have power. Pretty bold if I say so myself!

Punz, who has been oblivious this whole time: I TALKED TO THE KING!????

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Quackity: God! Punz, they’re so handsome! Both of them are strong and handsome and I can’t compare to them! I just want to go and hold both of their hands and tell them that I love them but they probably don’t think the same way :(

Punz, who has listened to Karl and Sapnap rant about their love issues as well: Oh trust me...I’m pretty sure they do

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Wilbur: Okay we’re trapped by Eggpire and that’s fine. That’s fine. That’s absolutely fine. We just need a plan. We just need a- Wait PUNZ!?

Punz, in a bad disguise and planning on blowing up the Eggpire a little because they scaring the customers: No it’s...Spunz...

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Charlie Slimecicle: Punz, we are both definetely human beings with many bones. Look! I have a skull in my head just like you do!

Punz: A bit concerned where you actually got that skull but yeah. We are humans and have bones Charlie

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Punz: How the heck did my ancestor become the hero in the first place? Like I know maybe they were a different person from before but still, we have so much treasure and I’m pretty sure an actual hero would deny all of this or something.

Purpled: Well they’re dead so we’ll just never know.

Punz: Yeah…

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Punz’s ancestor: Foolish, Cornelius, I fucked up. I accidentally became the chosen one after I stole this sword from this asshole who owes me money. Now I have to defeat the weird Crimson monster that has been terrorizing the lands for a bit.

Cornelius and Foolish:

Foolish: Okay you know what? Let’s just. Have some tea first and then we can freak out okay?

Cornelius: How the fuck did you become the chosen one? You went and scammed several people last week and you did it with no remorse

Punz’s Ancestor: Hey I’m a good person!

Cornelius: Last week you met my child, Robin, said Ew, a child, and then went and told me you would drop-kick him without any hesitation.

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Dream: So you finally arrive- What the hell are you wearing

Punz, in all of his most overpowered equipment and looking like a fashion disaster: It’s my ass kicking outfit bitch!

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Wilbur: Hahahahaha. Hey Punz did you know that I fucked a mermaid? It was amazing and we actually fell in love with each other. We actually had this fox child named Fundy but she died before he could see her. Anyways he aged fast so he’s like about in his 20s now and he actually ran away a bit while back and I miss him greatly. Also he’s working in the rebellion and I really want to say that I’m proud of him but I don’t know how. Fun fact: did you know that technically he’s Antarctic Empire royalty because my ancestors were the first rulers of the Antarctic Empire? Crazy isn’t it? Anyways, give me all your TNT. I’m about to blow up the capital.

Punz:

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Karl: Hey! I just found out a honk ton of information about the Red Masquerade! Apparently someone named Billiam went and invited guests over and then lured them to a room where he went and-

Punz: Wrong building Karl.

Karl: Oh I know, I just want to talk to you!

Punz, internally crying tears of joy: O- Oh. That’s nice. So what about the Red Masquerade again?

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Punz, locking his doors as he sees the Eggpire surrounding his shop: You know maybe if I just go and ignore them then they’ll leave. It’s not my problem and it will never be-

Foolish: Uh...Punz! Get your weird sword and armor out or else the property value is going to go down!

Purpled: Give me back my sword you weird Void Demon!

Punz, getting all his overpowered equipment: You know what? I’m going out there

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Punz: I’m pretty sure the Church is just now plucking children from their homes. This can’t be legal. Child soldiers are illegal and I’m surprised no one pointed that out.

Wilbur: Oh it is. They just have too much power and Dream isn’t really doing anything so…

Punz: ...Hey want to go and blow up the main base of Church Prime?

[sad-boy-hank]

𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐦 𝐢?

AHAHHAHAHAHAH READER WHY U SO FUCKIN SHORT

irl! madlads x grunt! reader

take a shot everytime reader squeaks

@shyflameweasel spspsppspspsps

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is fine, this is good, everything is normal, nothing is out of the ordinary.”

It wasn’t fine, good, or normal, and it most certainly was out of the ordinary.

God, why didn’t you just get in the car with your friends? Oh, that’s right. “Cause I said, ‘oh, don’t worry about me, I know exactly where I’m going!’” You huffed, frustrated and nervous. “Yeah right.”

The puddles made your sneakers squelch, a very uncomfortable feeling especially since you weren’t sure if it was even water you were stepping in. You flinched as you picked up the sounds of squeaking, terrified that it might be an agent sent to kill you.

You shook your head and patted your face Alright, calm down. I’m not that important. But, then again, it’s not like it was a rat.

Importations of those things were illegal, right?

You let out a loud squeak, sounding like a dog toy if a dog toy could get surprised. Oh god, something just ran over my foot, oh god. Terrified at the slim chance that it was a rat, you dove to the side, pressing yourself against a brick wall. Brick? Where the hell am I? Whatever turns you took were way wrong because this was not Nevada.

Taking small, shallow breaths, you decided to actually look around (which for some reason you hadn’t done in an hour).

This was an alleyway. Okay. We got that down.

You glanced to your left and right. A bin with a door next to it on the right. How did I not see that? With cautious fright, you padded towards the strangely massive door. Who the hell lives here? You paused before the door. You’d asked yourself a good question: Who lived behind this door? Was it dangerous? Could- would it kill you?

You turned around hastily, trying to find a weapon. Aha! A convieniently-placed metal pipe. Perfect. Grabbing it and swiveling it around in your fists, you let out a sigh. Please be empty. Please be empty. Breathing deeply, you tried to hype yourself up. “Okay, one, two, THREE!” With a yell, you threw yourself against the door, squeaking as it hardly moved and the pipe you were holding clattered to the ground.

“HEY! WHO’S OUT THERE?”

Ah, shit.

Okay, okay, quick, where do you hide? Fuck, the bin’s too tall! Maybe if I-

You let out a loud and frightened SQUEAK As a hand grabbed you by the middle. “What kinda fuckin’ cat-- HANK! GET OVER HERE I FOUND SOMETHING FUCKED-UP!”

Panicking, you only just noticed the silhouette of the thing holding you as your brain went into attack mode. Arms. As fucked-up as it was for anything to have those, you could bite ‘em.

The person holding you shrieked as your face split in two to chomp down on its arm, shaking it violently in a futile attempt to get you the fuck away. “HANK HURRY UP!”

You let go as soon as you heard pounding footsteps clanking against the floor, and raced towards the huge door (which, thankfully, was still open) only to squeal as you were picked up yet again, this time by the scruff. Instinctively, you went limp, letting your jaw go slack and allowing your hands to swing beside you. Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me.

You tried in vain to tense your muscles, unable to with a hand pinching your scruff. Terror filled you as you felt hot breath grazing the side of your face. “Huh. This is fucked-up,” a gruff voice rumbled. You screamed as it shook you. Is this motherfucker toying around? “So, it’s alive.”

“OW!” You shrieked, your back hitting the ground hard, a massive pain spreading across your body. You curled into yourself when you heard something chuckle.

“Jesus, what’s up with its hands?”

THERE’S THREE OF THEM? You jerked your hand back when you felt a warm hand touch it and scooted back, hissing. “G-get the FUCK away from me! EEP-”

For the third fucking time strong hands grabbed you and lifted you up, causing you to flail wildly. “You talk?” There’s the first voice.

Beating its arms with your comparatively tiny fists, you started crying. “LET ME FUCKING GO!” You squealed, angry and scared. “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU FREAKS WANT?”

You yelped as you were grabbed by ANOTHER motherfucking hand and started quaking, tears brimming at the corners of your facial cross. “D’aww, you’re so tiny!”

Is this bitch trying to baby you? “I- I’M 27!” You shouted, now a bit more pissed than frightened. “Put me the fuck down!”

You snapped your head around at the sound of a huff. “You heard the lil’ dude. Set ‘em down.”

The person holding you frowned, disappointed that they couldn’t hold you longer. “FINE, Sanford.” They gently placed you down on the cold, concrete floor. You couldn’t really shoot a proper “thank you” (your head was spinning), so you just held out your hand in an exhausted, grateful gesture.

The owner of the first voice (maybe it was Sanford?) crouched down and grabbed your hand with a smile, but recoiled instantly with a worried expression when you shrieked. “WHAT are you doing?” you squealed.

“Th- that’s what people do when they wanna shake hands,” the man (yeah, probaby Sanford) explained, confused at your reaction.

The midpoint of your facial cross scrunched up. “Huh? No, I’m saying thank you! It’s basic sign language!”

A hand was placed on your shoulder, making you squeak. “That’s not sign language for ‘thank you’.” Ah, that was the dude with the rough voice. You turned to face him shakily, watching with frightened curiosity as he gently placed his hand on his chin, then straightened his arm to move it away. “That’s sign language for thank you.”

Your face kept its confused expression as you looked down at your shoes. For a moment, you stood and tried to regain your composure. “W… where the hell am I, anyway?”

[babyboy-cody]

HI ALYSSA!!! 😃 What you wrote for grayson was beyond BEAUTIFUL. can you write something where they’re in a new relationship and she gets introduced on the podcast??? 🥰

i’m gonna try really hard to not go overboard this time 😭

The atmosphere was lighthearted and playful. Since 7am to the early afternoon, you’ve been extremely nervous and fidgety. Grayson recognized the early signs of an anxiety attack and made to bring out one of your sensory toys, the ones that make the popping and clicking sound. He brought you to a secluded corner of the house, away from everyone and all the noise, and blocked them with his body until you calmed down. The scent of him, the overall height of him, the gruffness of his voice, and the soft teddy bear vibes Grayson was giving off had you feeling more at ease.

“What if… What if they don’t like me, Gray? I mean, I’m not like the other girls you’ve hooked up with before. I’m not some insta baddie or a bad bitch. I’m me and they’re gonna hate it,” you quietly rambled to him while frantically popping and clicking your sensory toy, all the while keeping your eyes on your hand movements. Grayson allowed you to rant, not stepping in until you were fully finished. “I mean, Kris is different because she’s perfect for Ethan and she never really got any hate - not that I know of. She’s like a soft baddie, I’m not even 6% of a baddie.” This made Grayson smile as he crossed his arms and stared down at you. “Like, I’m not Tyson and it just… sucks feeling like this.”

“Look at me,” he told you, his voice low enough for only you both to hear. When you nervously peer up at him, no longer using your sensory toy, he places his large hands on your warm cheeks, thumbs gently stroking back and forth. “You’re not Tyson and that’s why I’m in love with you. You think I care about insta baddies? You’re the fucking queen, you hear me?” When you start looking down again, he quickly lifts your head. “Aye, I’m not done talking to you. You’re nothing like those girls and that’s what made me fall for you. Your kind soul, pretty eyes, and good vibes made me feel so comfortable that I always wanted to be around you 24/7. Ask Kris.” He smiles at the sound of your soft giggle and the way your eyes crinkled at the corners. “If I love with all my heart, the people who support us and want us to be happy will love you too.”

“Yo,” Ethan called out from across the room. “You ready?” He was looking at you, more so worried about your reputation than Grayson’s. “There’s no going back.” His tone was teasing and his eyes held no malice. You looked up at Grayson and he gave you a small nod and grin, as if telling you, ‘You got this.’ When you gave Ethan an enthusiastic nod, he excitedly claps his hands. “Lets do this shit!”

When you followed them to the room where they do their podcasts, you felt that anxious wave crash over you again. Grayson, being the extremely observant man he is, made sure you had your sensory toy in your hands as he rubbed your arms gently. He pressed soft kisses to your cheeks that felt like butterfly wings fluttering against your skin because of his growing beard. Kristina shot you a thumbs up from her spot in the kitchen as she ate some avocado toast. You felt more at ease as Grayson and Ethan shot playful jokes at each other back and forth. You took your spot beside Grayson on the swivel chair and took the headphones he hands to you. After setting up the mics and cameras, you got yours comfortable and sat a foot or two away from Grayson so that they’re able to do their intro without you in the frame.

“It’s now or never,” you quietly mumbled to yourself.

“Good evening, everybody!” Grayson enthusiastically speaks into the mic. “Welcome back to Deeper with the Dolan Twins. I’m one of your hosts, Grayson.”

“And I’m your other host, Ethan. If it’s a little harder to tell who is who, I wore white today and Grayson wore black,” Ethan states confidently. “Grayson is always wearing his greasy ass trucker hat.”

“It’s not greasy, shut up.” Grayson sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes, sending a look to the side as you covered your mouth to stifle your laugh. “So, today we are doing things a little bit differently.” You sat up straighter in your seat. “As all of you know, we had Kristina on our podcast to furthermore introduce herself as Ethan’s girlfriend.”

“And today,” Ethan rubbed his hands excitedly. “We have a very, very special guest. We are introducing… drum roll, please…” Grayson quickly tapped his fingers against the table. “Grayson’s very own girlfriend, Y/N!”

Grayson was quick to pull your chair closer to his as you held the mic and laughed quietly as they both cheered loud and clear. “This is my very lovely and very beautiful girlfriend, Y/N. Say hello to the audience.”

“Um… hello,” you awkwardly said, causing Ethan to snort. “Shut up, E! I’m nervous.” You shyly covered your face, groaning when Grayson pulled your hands away and placed his hand between yours. You immediately started playing with his fingers; a sense of calm washing over you. “Well as nervous as I am, I am extremely excited to be a guest on your podcast and I hope it receives good reactions.”

“On a lighter note, lets dive deeper into how the relationship between you and Gray… developed,” Ethan said and got comfortable in his seat.

“You tell the short story and I’ll tell the long story,” you told Grayson and lightly patted his shoulder while looking at him with such love-filled eyes that even Ethan can see from across the large table.

Grayson cleared his throat and never once move his hand from between yours. “Well we met a few years ago and started fully dating, I’d say, almost a year ago. And we met through Kristina because you’ve been really good friends story.”

“Okay, guys, people that are listening and watching,” Ethan interrupted. “Remember to get very comfortable because this story is going to be a fucking rollercoaster of emotions.”

“Oh god,” you facepalmed. “Now, for the long story. I’ve been really close friends with Kris since our childhood. I moved to Australia at a young age with my dad after my mom passed away, and we were just two peas in a pod. The way you and Grayson are with each other is the exact same way Kris and I are with each other.” Grayson leans his chin on his hand and never once looks away from you. His attention was all on you… and your lips. “And then, back in 2017 is when she started telling me about Ethan. And she had mentioned that you had a younger brother-”

“Younger by, like, 20 minutes,” Grayson interrupted with a scoff.

“Younger brother,” you emphasized a little louder, causing both twins to laugh. “And she had asked Ethan stuff about Grayson, to which she transferred back to me. So, she was like a bird messenger.” You giggled as you said that, causing a big grin to form on Grayson’s lips. “And then no sooner after that, we started talking more frequently and getting to know each other. And it just.. grew after that.”

“Didn’t Gray ghost you?” Ethan suddenly asked. Grayson groans loud beside you and covers his face embarrassingly. “I remember you freaking the fuck out because of it.”

“Yes, the motherfucker did ghost me for a few weeks. Wanna explain why, hm?” You teasingly asked him with a raise of your brows. Grayson blushed fiercely.

“So within the first three months of us talking, that was when I fully started developing strong feelings for you. And at the time, I had been fucked over so many times by so many people and was never really able to hold a long relationship. And I partially blamed myself for that because I tend to.. rush things, if that makes sense. I’m a romantic and when I fall for someone, I fall hard.” As Grayson passionately spoke and opened up his feelings, your eyes went from his eyes to his lips to his hands and back and forth. The way he spoke with his hands made you hide a smile by biting your lip. “And I was terrified because I automatically assumed that I was gonna fuck it up one way or another. The only way for me to cope was to push my feelings aside, and it just effected us both so negatively.”

“Yeah, from past experiences, it can be really difficult for someone to come to terms with the true emotions they felt. I was the same way with Kristina, you know. It felt like I had to walk around eggshells out of fear of fucking up the one thing that was good for me.” You and Grayson nodded in agreement. “I remember when we came to Australia after what happened and Gray was running back and forth, just writing what he wanted to say to you and he almost cried because his pencil broke.”

You quickly looked at Grayson. “Really?” You weren’t teasing him, you were shocked. Your voice was soft and you had a pout on your lips that he kissed away. “Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“Nooooo!” Grayson yelled out and threw an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his side.

“That’s so sweet!” You whined and pouted some more. “I never knew that, Gray. I know that in the past, there were some hardships that we were able to overcome and the way we communicated with each other, it just made our relationship stronger.”

The conversation ranged from topic to topic. Your life growing up, the death of your mother, your dad’s rescue farm in Australia, your college degree, and some moments between you and Grayson. You felt so comfortable and carefree that Grayson noticed a changed. You laughed more and spoke louder. You playfully bantered with Ethan and provided your own insight on serious topics regarding the negative effects of social media and about mental health. He’s so sure in his heart that people who love and support him and Ethan are gonna love you the same.

[stardustedknuckles]

Okay I know at least a couple of you want to see my brown recluse bite. The chances of getting bitten are so low and the chances of it being a true bite and having ~effects~ even lower. Scientifically, I won the shit lottery and now it can be for your entertainment. If I understand right, I did experience necrosis - it’s just that it looks nothing like the horrible black photos you see online because it’s hypothesized that those are less “natural venom effects” and more “buddy you got MRSA.” I did not in fact get MRSA. Just everything else it’s possible for a spider to do to you.

Anyway under the cut, a progression up to today. It’s not gross tbh, just uh. Colorful. It’s pretty much entirely a surface change - nothing deep or particularly traumatizing happened. The threat of winding up with a hole in my arm scared the shit out of me for days but I saw my doctor on day 12 or so and she reassured me it was doing fine actually.

Day one: ya boi got bit three hours ago and went back to sleep.

Day 3: Hmm. This looks a bit like Great Britain.

Day 4: Hello from the hospital. You can see why I might be here, with my rashy swollen arm. Rare effect number one: systemic reaction. Not pictured: rare effect number two, half your red blood cells explode and you look like you’ve had acute anemia for years and not literally a week.

Day 6: Haha this looks kind of cool tbh, hope that doesn’t all go necrotic. (hi Jesus, no house calls please I wanna stay here on earth thx) (I was doing real bad y’all, they didn’t tell me til after how shaky it was for a sec.)

Day 10: Just got home from the hospital, can now properly focus on and freak out about my fucking arm. Also it kind of looks like a profile of the grinch now.

Day 13: the crackly stuff is dried lidocaine don’t worry.

Day 22: I skipped over the blistering that happened along the border, you’re welcome. This is the first day it’s truly looked like something healing instead of a worrying gooey mess (from triple antibiotic that I keep on it. It apparently heals better moist, so I keep it gooped up and covered. This is the best it’s looked bc the bandage absorbed all the goo and gently removed the thin skin left from the blisters.)

So yeah! I’m pretty proud of keeping that blood blister safe so it can heal under the skin. I can tell my nerves are repairing bc I can occasionally feel the liquid move and yeah it feels weird but you gotta know it doesn’t even rank on the weird shit this wound has pulled on me. It gets flatter on its own every day, as does the wound around it. 

Having a gf who’s an ICU RN is really comforting bc I send her these and she goes “oh wow it’s looking so good!” and I go “haha okay cool good to know because it’s literally terrifying.”

But up top! In the last photo! It really is evening out and closing up and I’m so pleased.

So yeah when I bitch about doorknobs or sleeves or not being able to carry anything heavier than a cereal bowl (which I had to work up to) this is why. Every time I pull my arm too much to the side or flex the dead (!!!) muscles too hard the wound pulls at the edges and we’re trying to avoid that. Thank god I can type, and even more that doing so no longer pulls. It used to, just a little.

[isshebreathing]

Sharing my first resus story, please be kind:

Bringing up our child pt: 1

We sat together on the sofa trying to avoid the heat. Both sprawled out in nothing but a tank top and underwear, her bulging belly mounted in the center of her body like a rapidly growing hill to climb.

I was the one who wanted to give birth to a child, she would have been perfectly fine with adoption, but I was so desperate to experience a pregnancy my weak heart could never support that she agreed to carry our child.

Pregnancy had been awful for Lizzy, I knew it but she never complained, she would never complain because she loved me that much. She sat up suddenly and asked for antacids, it wasn’t uncommon so we’d started keeping them all around the house like little candy jars. She chews two and sits up to get more comfortable, despite siting directly in front of the air conditioner and a fan I notice beads of sweat forming on her forehead. These hot flashes had been happening at night, she’d wake up covered in sweat, make her way to the bathroom and take a cold shower, then make her way back, to bed I’d sit with her in the bathroom and offer to get her ice or a cold washcloth but she always declined, “just need to wash the sweat off” she’d say.

She was usually so reluctant to accept help, which was why I was surprised when she asked me to get her a cold washcloth and some ice.

As soon as I got back panic began to rise in my throat, she had shifted from the sofa to the floor on all fours, panting as her body started to drip with sweat. “Call for help,” she said weakly, “I can’t get up.”

“911 can you please give me your address?”

“1217 east main st, my wife is pregnant and something is wrong, please send someone to help, she looks really bad, she can’t get up and she’s dripping with sweat.”

“Okay ma’am I need you to stay calm, is you wife breathing?”

“Yes she is, she’s on the floor on her hands and knees, she can’t get up, she’s breathing really heavily”

Lizzy looks up at me with pleading in her eyes and doesn’t try to reassure me, I know something must really be wrong.

“Ma’am I need you to give me this info okay”

My mind snaps back into the phone call as I realize the dispatcher is trying to get information from me.

“How far along is she?”

“Six months, she’s due in September, she hasn’t had anything like this happen before, please hurry, I have a heart condition and I cannot help her up”

“Ma’am they are coming as fast as they can…”

I panic further as Lizzy’s eyes roll back in her head and she face plants into the floor, letting out a horrific groan and violently seizing

“Oh my god send help now she’s having a seizure”

“Okay ma’am you’re going to have to be calm to help her okay,”

“Don’t tell me go calm down bitch, my wife and child are seizing uncontrollably on the floor, I will freak out as much as I can thank you.” I think to myself.

“Is she still seizing?”

“Yes.” I snap back, “Oh fuck how long has it been”

“Okay I need you to roll her on her side and make sure there’s nothing in her mouth that she can choke on.”

I grab her back under her bloated belly and heave her onto her left side, she continues shaking and gasping in a horrific noise, I pry her mouth open and sweep my finger through it as a sickeningly pale foam gorges out.

The seizing slows but she continues to gasp horrible breaths, desperate for air. Her body goes limp as she desperately tries to pull air into her lungs one last time. Her eyes glaze over as she stares off into something that I cannot see.

I push my two fingers to the side of her throat to confirm my worst fear, her heart has stopped.

“Fuck she’s in cardiac arrest, send someone now!” I scream to the dispatcher as I rush to the front closet to get the “just in case” kit that Lizzy put there after one of my episodes. “Unlock the front door” a large note says on top, reminding me to open the house for the paramedics that I pray would be here soon. A wave of appreciation for my wife’s continuing fear that I would suddenly drop dead washed over me.

I rush back to her and I see her lying there sickingly still and with a blank stare as her body rapidly turns a horrifying gray/blue color.

“Ma’am can you hear me? What is happening now?”

I realize I haven’t responded to the dispatcher since screaming about Lizzy going into cardiac arrest.

“She’s in cardiac arrest, we have a defibrillator and a breathing kit, I have a very weak heart, I need help now”

“Ma’am they’re coming as fast as they safely can, what is happening now”

I flip Lizzy on her back and try to stay calm as the mound of her belly turns the same sickingly gray/blue color as the rest of her body. I rip off her top and have a bashful moment as her milk swollen breasts flop off to the sides, distracted for a moment by how beautiful my wife’s full and soft body was. I put one AED pad in between her breasts and lifting her up gently to place one between her shoulder blades. Putting one on her side like is usually advised would risk the shock jumping over to the baby and forcing the fetal heart rate out of control. The shock had to go directly into Lizzy’s heart to try and convince it to start.

“Analyzing rhythm, do not touch patient.”

The wait seems like hours before it says “shock advised”

I hesitate before pushing the flashing button, a shock goes through Lizzy jolting her limbs in an unnatural form as the mound in her belly shakes.

“Check pulse, if no pulse continue CPR”

I stick my fingers below her chin and feel nothing.

“Fuck please send someone now, I have a very weak heart I can’t do much CPR”

The dispatcher replies but I don’t comprehend what she says as I lock both of my hands over her chest and push down as hard and as fast as my weak and pathetic body will allow me to.

“One and two and three and four…” I count to myself, it’s the only thing from my YMCA CPR class that has stuck. I get to thirty and I swipe my finger through her mouth again removing more yellowish foam that I now notice has red streaks in it.

I tilt her head back and pinch her nose shut, I can feel my heart weakly pounding as I cover her mouth with mine and weakly breathing into her as her chest rises, I repeat the action again, then frantically comtinue compressions “one and two and three and four and…”

The defibrillator pipes up with its computerized voice again, “analyzing rhythm, do not touch patient.” I feel weirdly comforted that I have this sentient machine by my side.

Another agonizing few seconds pass before the machine says “shock advised” as the machine is powering up I look in the orange bag my wife diligently packed never expecting it to be used to sustain her own life, I see an ambu bag attached to a mouthpiece and another little bag with a hose attached and a note that says “O2 concentrator” I connect the tube to my oxygen concentrator and turn it on I hear the loud air intake noise as I push “shock” again.

The shock is stronger this time, Lizzy’s body contorts again in an unnatural surge. I push my fingers into her corroded again and feel nothing. I stick the plastic piece into her mouth to keep her tongue out of the way and slip it into the mask, and then squeeze the bag as two deep oxygenated breaths make her chest rise more than my pathetic weak lungs could ever imagine.

I lock my hands in the center of her chest again and start compressions “one and two and three and four and…” I can feel my heart start to murmur and skip from the strain.”

“Somebody please help” I scream in desperation, the thought of losing both my wife and child slips through my mind as I pump her chest harder, fully prepared to kill myself in order to save them.

My head starts to spin as I fill her lungs with another breath from the ambu bag. There’s a ringing in my ears as I start my weak compressions again “one and two and three and four and…” I feel my body weaken knowing it will never be enough. “I’m so sorry Lizzy” I thought as I failed to keep her heart beating for either her or our child.

I feel a hand on my shoulder pull me back as a hand puts an oxygen mask over my face as I gasp to fill my useless lungs with air. Someone shoves a nitroglycerin tablet into my mouth and slips a pulse ox meter on my finger.

“That’s it honey, deep breaths, just like that” they say.

I weakly try to remove the oxygen mask and choke out the words “no, her, baby”

“They’re on it” the woman moves aside to reveal three paramedics surrounding Lizzy and working in a perfectly choreographed dance.

One woman pounds on Lizzy’s chest so hard her breasts and belly cave in as a sicking “huf huf huf” sound escapes her mouth with each compression.

Another man kneels buy her feet with a stethoscope to her belly.

“We have a fetal heartbeat, holding steady at about 100, baby’s very stressed though.

I am suddenly terrified for the life of my child. “Please stay alive baby,” I thought, “I will give my weakly beating heart to keep you alive”

I continue to suck up oxygen through the mask as I feel my chest start to open and my heart return to a normal pace. I notice Lizzy’s feet bending inward with each intense compression as they rock her whole body. I see another medic tilt Lizzy’s head back and slip a metal hook into it to force her jaw open and insert a plastic tube. She suctions up the blood and foam that had been blocking Lizzy’s throat, then hooked up an ambu bag and forced precious air into her lungs.

“STAND CLEAR” someone yells and I see them blast another shock through her heart. This one was stronger than the others and her body jolted and then hit the ground flopping uselessly like a rag doll.

I watch in a haze until the words “we have a sinus rhythm, let’s pack up for transport.” snap me back into reality.

The paramedic kneeling next to me says”we have your wife and baby back but they’re still in a lot of danger, we are going to take them to the hospital now. You are going to follow them, your heart rate is very high and your pulse ox is very low.